#i may start a rewatch tonight

[pose1dson]

when will my will to write return from war ?

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

I have to put fresh sheets on my bed and make it but I've just been sitting on my bare mattress for the last 20 mins ranting to myself about this damn show

[veterveter]

Happiest of birthdays to the most dearly beloved @sorrydearie !!!

I have written for the occasion, yet again ill-advisedly. For being lovely & being my friend, you get the *checks notes* angst you pitched to me. There is fluff there though, if you make it to the end. (It's like a reward.)

So it takes Andrés a month before he cracks, all because it becomes tiresome, in the end. To tell Martín a story, and repeat it, and repeat it, and repeat it. To watch their plan turn from a near-complete masterpiece to a work still in progress, to witness their greatest discoveries become undone.

[llycaons]

I miss hearing how my mutuals are doing! friends and neighbors, tell me about your days!

[regallibellbright]

Last Time On Birdie Wing

Love (or, deepest of sighs, possibly long lost siblings) at first Golf occurred!

Eve was challenged for golf supremacy for the first time in memory (except maybe her teacher,) and described it as Aoi’s golf and smile “piercing her heart through” because bullet metaphors.

We meet the Golf Mafia!

I realized just how THOROUGHLY dedicated Rose Aleon is to The Aesthetic, and then considered things and went “You know that checks out.”

Eve continued to be a drama queen about her new crush rival and made a deal with the Golf Mafia! This will be fine and nothing at all is being foreshadowed!

And now, we return to Birdie Wing. Venus Line!

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

When I rewatched all the episodes last year, I deciced that frycook was my favorite episode... but I'm starting to think that game slave 2 is. I think about it ALL the time. I'd say not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about gaz stalking and terrorizing iggins - that may be exaggerating - but only a little.

Also Iggins is so fucking terrible and I love him so much. There is no iggins content and I have to make it myself :'D I kind of wanted this drawing to be prettier but I ran out of gas tonight and got impatient. I hope you like it anyway :)

[vegaseatsass]

Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

[fakeuwus]

RECKLESS | lee heeseung

now playing ☾⋆⁺₊🎧✩°｡ reckless by madison beer

"how could you be, so reckless with my heart?"

⁺ ⋆˚ genre: idol!hee x nonidol/university student!femreader, pure angst sorry lol, established relationship

⁺ ⋆˚ warnings: cursing, lowercase intended, barely proofread, mention of i-land LOL, lots of dialouge and idk if thats even a warning but had to put it out there, use of nicknames like babe/baby, infidelity

⁺ ⋆˚ word count: ~1k

⁺ ⋆˚ message from nic: wanted to put smth out while working on my jay fic!! got inspired by this show i was watching called "the game" (dont watch it its like highkey misogynistic and a bit racist and just overall so bad 😭) i wanted to rewatch it bc i used to watch it as a kid and now i realize how bad it was skdkd. but basically the bf is a pro football player while the gf is in med school and a certain plotline in the show inspired this 😁 also this is my first writing piece so pls be nice and feedback is appreciated!

heeseung slowly opened the front door to the apartment you and him shared, trying to be as quiet as possible since you were most likely sleeping. once he made it in he tip toe'd his way to your guys' bedroom. "did you have fun tonight hee?" you asked, while sitting on the couch with nothing but the lamp on. heeseung jumps, "holy shit you scared me! baby what are you doing up? come on let's get you to bed."

he walks over and tries to give you a kiss. you turned your head down only allowing him to press it to your forehead. you were pissed. actually, you were beyond that. words could not describe what you were even feeling at the moment.

you get up from the couch and stand before him, "you didn't answer my question. did you have fun tonight hee?" heeseung is perplexed by your tone. you sounded... hurt? angry? annoyed? all of the above? he tried to proceed with caution, racking his brain of all the possibilities of why you could be acting like this.

"uh... yeah babe, i had a lot of fun tonight. sorry i stayed out so late by the way. you really didn't have to wait up for me, you're probably tired." he was hopeful this was the right answer. it's gotta be, right? all you could do was stifle a cold laugh.

why the hell were you laughing? what was so funny? heeseung can feel his heartbeat in his ears and his skin was turning hot. you had never once acted this way in all of the years you guys had been together. it may not seem like a big deal to others, but you had always been so caring and sweet towards him.

even when you guys were arguing, your soft voice never changed. this was new. this was scary. you had a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes now and it seemed like you were staring into his soul.

"yeah heeseung. it's 2 am," you say sounding almost condescending, "but no i'm not mad that you stayed out so late. i mean i WAS, but after someone sent me a little something i realized there are worse things to be mad about." suddenly your phone is shoved into heeseung's hands. his jaw dropped. no. there's no way.

"who sent you this?! wait no it doesn't matter baby you can't believe this can you?" he reaches out for you but you pull away and start walking towards the front door to gather your jacket and bag, "so you're not even going to try to deny it? huh. i guess my friends were right." it makes him sick how you seem so calm on the outside, your words and actions treating this like one big joke while he's freaking out. he'd rather you be a crying, screaming mess than whatever behavior you're exhibiting at the moment.

you turn back around to him, "you think i don’t know who you’re giggling with on the phone while i’m sitting in the room studying for hours? that i’m stupid enough to believe that you’re not making out with her in that video? that i’m blind enough to not see the heart eyes you two make at each other while in the same room?” your words drip with venom and they shoot heeseung straight in the heart.

he feels like the room is spinning and he wants to faint. he wants to go up to you and hold you and tell you that she doesn’t matter, that you’re the only important thing in his life. but that’s not what happens. heeseung is too wrapped up in the moment to admit his wrongs.

frankly, he’s disgusted with himself and at a loss for words right now. he wants to convince not only you but more importantly to himself that he didn’t do anything wrong. and so he does. what comes out of his mouth next are words he’d soon regret. “WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO YN?! i’ve been so lonely lately because you’re so wrapped up in school and she’s THERE FOR ME. she’s been there when you weren’t. i wouldn’t have made out with her if YOU were at the afterparty with ME like i asked you to! we won four fucking awards tonight and i just wanted my girlfriend there to celebrate with me.”

and just like that, you snap. the jacket and bag in your hands are now thrown to the ground and heeseung flinches. “YOU ARE SO FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE! do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth right now?! i told you i have an exam tomorrow there was no way i was going to that damn party.”

tears are blurring your vision and your breath is becoming uneven. you don’t even recognize the man standing in front of you. “i have a life too heeseung. while you’re out chasing your dreams so am i. do you even acknowledge the sacrifices i have made for you over the past five years? tell me, was she there for you when you first became a trainee? was she crying for you every fucking episode of i-land? was she there every step of the way supporting your career?!"

heeseung doesn’t speak. he doesn’t move an inch yet his brain is moving a million miles per minute. he knows you’re right. he knows that you decline going out with your friends so you can wait for him to come home from practice. that your life only revolves around school and him. and he’s so eternally grateful for you. his heart yearns to express all the love he has for you and that he fucked up so badly. he just wants to fast forward to the part where you guys work through it and everything is okay again.

but that time is never going to come because you walk up to him with a heavy heart, placing the promise ring he gave you all those years ago in his hands.

he stares at the pretty diamond that shines in the moonlight, the only thing illuminating the darkness that’s consumed the space you both once filled with love. “i hope she was worth it,” you say as you open the door and walk out into the cold night. leaving heeseung and all of the memories of your relationship behind.

© fakeuwus 2023 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

05/16/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings: David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Leslie Jones; Con O'Neill; Trends; National Forest Service; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlights; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

== David Jenkins ==

As you probably heard, Chaos Dad was really out and about today. He did some polite menacing (regarding Zaslav) Src: Djenkins Twitter

And checked in and sent some love for this artwork of him on Ed's Arm. MerJenks! Great work Lucia! (@ citrussyndicate)

Source: David Jenkin's Twitter

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys and Rosie several days back at the Bag Pipers Ball <3

Source: Heidi Miller's Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Taika out and about with some colleagues at Chateau Marmont!

Source: NevakRogers Instagram

Taika and Rita attending Netflix is a Joke Fest

Source: RitaOraHun Instagram

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie Fucking Jones out on The View!

Source: Leslie Jones Instagram

= Con O'Neill =

Quick sighting of Con!

Source: Nick Hayes Instagram

== National Forest Service ==

Many of you probably remember this post from the National Park Service a while back regarding moonglow, well, our friends at the NPS are back at it again with the Rosie Maple Moth! Which one of you is the sneaky NPS social person, hm? Thank you @ adotzimm!

Source: @ adotzimm's Instagram

== Trends ==

Thank you @ NeverLeftPod for catching these trends!

Source: Never Left Podcast on Twitter

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Series Finale of Wrecked today over on the RDF Server.

Wrecked S3 WP May 13-May 17 - 3:30pm PT / 6:30pm ET / 11:30pm BST! If you need access feel free to dm me here at @gentlebeardsbarngrill or @aspirantabby42 on twitter.

= OFMD Season 1 Watch Party =

Next week May 20-26, RDF will be starting up a rewatch of OFMD season 1 with two episodes a day. Time: 3:30pm PT / 6:30pm ET / 11:30pm BST! If you need access feel free to dm me here at @gentlebeardsbarngrill or @aspirantabby42 on twitter.

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Today's cast card is Geoff Dolan, otherwise known as the priest to whom Ed said "I'm the fucking devil". Thanks @melvisik!

Source: @Melvisik's Twitter

= OFMD Colouring Pages =

Thank you @patchworkpiratebear for these new pages! I am going to be sketching.... quite a few things in there.

== MerMay ==

== SpencerDoesArt ==

Our crewmate @ spencerdoesartt on Instagram was kind enough to let me share some of their MerMay Posts-- they've got some pretty cool stuff over there for MerMay, feel free to check the out!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by spencer (@spencerdoesartt)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by spencer (@spencerdoesartt)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by spencer (@spencerdoesartt)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by spencer (@spencerdoesartt)

= Snejpowa =

This one really struck me today @snejpowa, it's really gorgeous.

Source: SnejPowa's Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

I really wish I had words today Crew. I feel a lot of the tension going on as I'm sure you do too. Things are tough right now, but even within close knit groups we run into struggles sometimes, it gives us a chance to grow.

I hope we all can take the time to regroup and do what we need to for ourselves to feel safe again, and maybe one day everyone will feel more comfortable again, or maybe not. Whatever happens, do what you need to do crew, take care of yourself. If you need to chat let me know. Somewhat related today is @ thelatestkate's new picture with the cute baby otter. Hope you have a good start to the weekend Crew. Sending love.

Source: TheLatestKat's Tumblr

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Gifs Courtesy of @agaywithcoffee and @aplaceofgreatersafety

[thisisjustmefangirling]

Merlin rewatch : 2x09 "The lady of the lake"

Freya must have been so cold wearing these rags…

Gaius, your acceptance/resignation towards people being sold for a price if they have magic freaks me out.

As if Merlin was going to let a defenseless looking girl stay in that cage… Especially someone with magic. He feels empathy for them.

Is that the first time we're seeing the Rising sun tavern ?

Oh Merlin is using so many spells in a few minutes, I'm loving it…

"Here, I thought you might be cold."

"I just saw you and… It could have been me, in that cage".

WHY is Merlin not stealing from the kitchens instead of bringing Arthur a rotten apple and a stale piece of bread ? The NERVE ?! I wouldn't have given this to anyone, even less my BOSS, a PRINCE.

Arthur's indignation : "I am fighting fit!"

I think this is where we're getting started with the fatphobic jokes…

Arthur has scratches/scars on his chest ? Where did he get that ?

Merlin giving Arthur "Sire" because he knows he fucked up…

Oh Freya was a druid ?

Merlin !!!! How did you not realise that that bathwater was BOILING and could COOK ARTHUR TO DEATH ?

"You need to warn them, Sire. The girl is dangerous. My informer told me she was cursed."

"How so ?"

"He didn't know. But he said even the druids were frightened of her. They cast her out of their camp."

So Freya is an outcast. Just like Merlin, in some way. Merlin is so powerful it'd be easy to be afraid of him once he's mature enough. He's not part of the druids. Neither is Freya.

Add butter to that bread and cheese and you get un jambon-beurre haha.

"Believe me, it's fit for a prince" hahaha no shit Merlin !

"He knows but I'm not sure he understands". => Merlin about Gaius knowing about Merlin's magic.

"Magic is not a curse. It can be a gift!" Oh baby in 1x01 you feared you were a monster ?

Merlin is lying to Gaius' face and his very inquisitive eyes…

Merlin stealing Arthur's food is supposed to be a joke, okay, but I'm not sure I like it now. Arthur is being deprived of a good breakfast and lunch. He'll be cranky come evening. Give him food.

"Merlin is my servant, he has my absolute trust. If you have a problem with him, you come to me. Do you understand ?"

This line is doing things to my heart, oh la la…

The fact that Arthur doesn't question Merlin AT ALL about his strange behaviour, they just bicker about the stolen sausages and Arthur's weight and then Merlin just… leaves. And goes straight to see Freya.

"I scare most people away" Freya you deserve better…

"You can't always trust people."

"I know. That's why I left home."

Merlin :/ Babe <3

Let it be remembered that Merlin can make flowers appear, but not food.

"With you, I can just be who I am. We don't have to hide anything. I don't have to worry."

"Being different is nothing to be scared of".

AND THAT SINGLE TEAR ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK !

Awww Merlin behaving like a lovesick puppy <3

This is the first time Merlin even THINKS about leaving Camelot. He's known Freya for two days. He's just really desperate to be known for who he really is, and to be free…

Moths and woodworms : the "reasons" why Merlin is snooping into closets and bedside tables he should not be touching at all.

"Running an errand for Gaius" : excuse number 1 for weird shit and secret missions Merlin is doing.

Arthur not giving a fuck about Merlin possibly crossdressing for fun in his spare time : "As long as you do a decent day's work, Merlin, that's all I care about. […] What a man does in his spare time is completely up to him". And then the compliment : "colour suits you Merlin".

This is day three now.

"We can leave tonight, as soon as it gets dark, and we can be together".

Horses, blankets and food and they won't need more. A second kiss, and goodbye. Freya doesn't have the heart to tell him.

"There was a time when you thought twice about lying to me".

Yet Merlin said "Of course not!" which such an air of sincerity… Oh yeah, he's turning into a really good liar…

Mais Gaius t'es tellement une grosse balance, t'es là à lécher les pompes d'UTHER au lieu de régler le problème avec Merlin !

"You can never understand. Do you know how it feels to be a monster? To be afraid of who you are ?"

"Freya is very different from you. She's dangerous."

Oh I didn't remember Arthur saw her in her human form ! Lol he's just there blinking as she's turning into a bastet…

I can't freaking believe Arthur's guards and knights are running away while Arthur is trying to fight the bastet !

MERLIN ! You almost crushed Arthur to death !

He's petting her head ???

OH is Freya a rape survivor, forced to kill people by the mother of her rapist ? That's so fucked up…

"Please go."

"No. I'm not leaving you here".

The PARALLELS with Arthur's dying moments !

"One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise". Okay but do we actually see that happen in the next seasons ? I don't remember her.

What I do remember from years ago is directors saying that Colin held that level of intensity and sadness for hours in the rain for those lake scenes.

It's the first time he has to light a funeral pyre for a friend and it sadly won't be the last…

That last scene with Arthur always gets to me. Arthur might be oblivious to a lot of things but he pays attention to Merlin more than Merlin might think, I'd say.

"Something's been upsetting you, hasn't it ?"

Arthur has seen Merlin doing the weirdest things in the past four days or so : stealing his food, calling him fat, giving him stale food to eat, stealing a dress, being accused of hiding a druid… And he doesn't accuse Merlin of anything himself. He thinks "Oh, Merlin has been upset. I must find out why. Maybe it's because of me." and then he sort of apologises and when words fail him, he uses action to make Merlin smile again. Because seeing Merlin smile, as we'll learn in the next seasons ("I haven't seen you smile in the past three days") is important to Arthur. Because he cares. Another thing that gets to me is that when Merlin is sitting upset doing his chores, Arthur usually comes to sit next to him, at his eye level, or even UNDER his eye level sometimes. Yet, a Prince should never be sitting at a lower level than a servant or any lesser noble. He gives himself the look of a listener, and he's bad with words and feelings (because of his father's shitty education) but he TRIES.

Last episode was Arthur centric, with Arthur showing his most intimate thoughts and feelings to/in front of Merlin : his grief and guilt about his mother's death, his rage at the idea that his father was responsible for her death, that he was a hypocrite and a liar... This episode was Merlin centric. I wonder what next episode will be like.

This episode was really good at exploring Merlin's feelings about his magic, his identity as a warlock, his sense of loneliness at the heart of Camelot. Gaius cares about him but is still loyal to Uther, and Merlin is not sure Gaius really understands him and what it's like to be a warlock. Arthur... Merlin cares about Arthur and Arthur cares about him, but Merlin knows that he could end up in a cage just like Freya. And I think a part of him might resent Arthur for it. Or at least, at the end of the episode, he's tired of his chores... But no wonder. Your crush is killed by your soulmate, and you still have to show up at work the next day and shine his boots ?

[folkookie97]

❝ at least for tonight ❞ — KTH

— SUMMARY: ❝ You're the new Victor of the Hunger Games. You survived, you're still alive. But at what cost? Your boyfriend – and also your Mentor – broke the one promise he shouldn't have to. ❞

— PAIRING: mentor!Taehyung x female tribute!reader

— TYPE: angst | hunger games!au, dystopia!au

— WORD COUNT: 720

— WARNINGS/TAGS: Hunger Games Setting, ambiguous/open ending, established relationship, implied/referenced character death, POV Second Person, survivor guilt, slightly PTSD, Sad!Taehyung, i wrote this while listening to Come in With the Rain (Taylor Swift)

— NOTES¹: Tributes receive Mentors who can contribute (or may not) to their win. And their Mentors are generally Victors from previous Hunger Games editions. You and Taehyung are the same age. You were dating even before his name was drawn in another Reaping, when he became a Victor. And a few years later he was your Mentor too.

— NOTES²: I wrote this inspired by one of my own old Everlark oneshots, but I changed 90% of the plot loool. Anyway, if you like it, maybe I can write more Hunger Games AU or at least develop more on this one (and make it a series in the future...)

— RELEASE DATE: March 05, 2024

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3

You never liked storms. However, the situation had been getting worse in recent months, when rainy days like that brought lots of thunder with them. Noisy thunder. Noises that resembled explosions.

And a premeditated explosion in the Arena was what killed your younger brother in the last Games. Wasn't it? At least that's what you had the displeasure of seeing several times during that stupid Victory Tour. Rewatching the same death over and over again.

Rewatching your little brother's death.

The clock struck 4:56 A.M, but the storm prevented you from closing your eyes or even thinking about trying to sleep. Fear ached in your body. Fear of falling asleep and having more nightmares about your brother. Or about Taehyung too. Just like almost every night since you and him returned to Victors' Village.

You tossed and turned on the bed, trying hard to withstand your torment. Searching for efforts to stop the screams from leaving your throat.

And it was then that your heard the first knock on the entrance door.

At first, you thought it was a hallucination, some consequence after so many nightmares. So when you noticed that everything around you remained the same, you imagined that it could be just a bird hurt by the rain.

However, the second knock came. Stronger than the previous one and more hopeless too.

Maybe the wisest thing to do would be to curl up in your blankets again. But your impulsiveness managed to overcome all your logical and rational thoughts. Wisdom and emotional intelligence wasn't something you had in a long time since since you became the winner of the Hunger Games' recent edition.

When the third knock sounded, you was already standing in front of the door. Heart racing, your eyes squinting and your eyebrows furrowed.

"Darling?" The sight in front of you also seemed like a hallucination. A much more striking hallucination than that knock door. "You okay?"

"Taehyung?" His name fell from your lips without any effort, even though your hadn't said it in a few weeks. "Why are you here?"

God! You mentally cursed yourself for saying such words, the sentence coming out harsher than you expected. So, not knowing how to apologize and being tormented by the boy's sad look in your direction, you opened the door a little wider and allowed him to enter.

Taehyung thanked you quietly as he entered your living room, his clothes soaked and his squeaky boots getting messy all the way.

"What happened? Why you get rained on just to come here? It's dangerous! You could get sick!"

You felt your hands start sweating while Taehyung bit his lip and looked at the floor.

"I wanted to know if you were okay. The storm is very heavy today and I know it brings you more nightmares." The boy had some tears in his eyes when he looked at you, sneezing once at the end of the sentence and bringing a flash of pain to your heart. "Darling, I'm so sorry."

Feeling sorry was something very all-encompassing. What was he sorry for? Your brother's death? Your nightmares? Being the mentor to the "siblings tributes" and choosing attract more sponsors for you, his girlfriend, than your brother? Even though you had begged Taehyung after the Reaping to focus on letting you die.

You never wanted to be a Victor. It was your little brother who deserved it and who he should be. And maybe he would have been, if you hadn't fallen in love with Taehyung before his own Games' victory.

Yeah, you two had a lot to talk about. And Taehyung really had a lot to apologize for. But deep down you knew you couldn't kick him out of your house in the rain.

You sighed, approaching Taehyung with slow steps, touching his arm and giving him a light caress. "Go take a shower to warm up. I still have some of your clothes in my new closet."

Taehyung's eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. "You want me to spend the night here? Are you sure?"

"Not really. I still hate you for not keeping your promises. Maybe I'll hate you forever. But we both need each other at least for tonight..."

A sad smile emerged on his lips after he sighed. "Yeah... At least for tonight."

[thebisexualdogdad]

An eventful holiday - Thea Queen x Male!reader

A/N: based off the 1x09 holiday episode because I've started a DC show rewatch and forgot how much of a crush I used to have on Thea

When Oliver came back from the dead he had a lot of new things he had to adjust to, one of the hardest being that his little sister who was only twelve the last time he saw her was now seventeen with a boyfriend.

He wanted an opportunity to bring his family closer after learning they stopped celebrating Christmas when he and his father went missing so Oliver planned a big Christmas party to make up for lost time.

However he didn't expect you to be invited as Thea's plus one.

He, Thea, Moira and Walter just got their photo taken when you walk in holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Hi, uh Thea invited me," you say seeing the angry look on Oliver's face, "Mrs. Queen these are for you."

You hand Moira the flowers and she thanks you, Thea kissing you on the cheek and showing you to the food table.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you how amazing you look tonight," you smile, grabbing a christmas cookie and taking a bite of it.

"You clean up pretty nice yourself," she says, drinking a glass of champagne and taking in the sight of you in your suit.

"Well I wanted to impress your brother, I don't think he likes me very much," you admit.

"Because he doesn't know you and he still doesn't want to believe I'm not a little kid anymore," she tells you.

"Maybe we should hang out sometime, just the three of us so he and I can actually get to know each other," you suggest.

"You're putting in a lot of effort to get the approval of my brother," she chuckles.

"That's because I love you, I want him to know that I'm serious about us and would never do anything to hurt you."

Thea smiles and kisses you sweetly, putting her empty glass down on the table, "I love you too and I think we should go upstairs for some privacy so I can give you your christmas present."

"But we exchanged gifts already," You say confused as you and Thea had a small get together with your family a few days prior.

"This is the part of your gift that I couldn't give you in front of your parents," she grins.

You had no idea what was in store for you but you quickly down a glass of champagne as she takes your hand and guides you towards the stairs.

Oliver sees this and glares at you, about to follow you two with intentions of kicking you out of the party but his mother puts her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Let them be Oliver," Moira says calmly.

"You're really okay with what they are going to do up there?" Oliver huffs.

"They are young and in love, in case you've forgotten your father and I tried to stop you sneaking around with girls when you were their age and yet you still always found a way," she chuckles.

"She's not ready to be in a relationship this serious," Oliver states.

"And you were?" Moira laughs, "you have to accept that Thea is not the same twelve year old she was when you left."

"Excuse me mom, I need to get some air," Oliver sighs, heading to the front door.

Meanwhile upstairs you are sitting on Thea's bed as she locks her door, sauntering towards you and climbing in your lap.

"Go ahead and unzip my dress," she says and you reach up, pulling the zipper down her chest to reveal the black lacy bra she has underneath.

"Wow," you mutter, the top of her dress falling off her shoulders and bunching around her waist.

"You like it?" She asks it.

"You are so beautiful Thea," you say putting your hands on her waist and kissing her deeply.

The kiss intensifies, Thea slipping your suit jacket off and tossing it to the floor before unbuttoning your shirt.

You pick her up and flip her over, letting her get comfortable against the pillows.

Thea moans softly as you kiss down her neck and along her chest while pulling her dress the rest of the way off her body exposing the lacy black panties that matched her bra.

"Merry Christmas Y/N," she says, biting her lip.

"This just may be the best gift I've ever received," you mutter, your lips traveling along her stomach which results in her hips rocking up for any form of friction.

You spend a while exploring her body and working her up, fully enjoying your gift, your fingers are gently rubbing her over the lace and her arousal is starting to soak through the material so you finally rid her of it.

You stand up and remove the rest of your clothes as well but look around, "Wait where's my jacket?"

You spot it on the floor and dig around in the inside pocket pulling a condom out.

"Were you expecting to get laid tonight?" Thea teases as she lifts her chest up to unclip her bra and tosses it aside.

"Not at all but it's always better to be prepared right," you chuckle, taking the condom out and rolling it on.

You reposition yourself back on top of her, spreading her legs apart and settling in between them.

Thea gasps when you ease the tip of your cock inside her, slowly pushing it the rest of the way in.

"Does this feel okay?" You ask and she nods.

You give a few rolls of your hips so she has a chance to adjust before you find a more steady rhythm.

She throws her head back, her chest in the air so you take the opportunity to nip at her neck and collarbones.

"Just like that," she moans, grasping at the sheets under her.

After a few minutes she feels her release approaching and reaches down, rubbing firm circles over her clit.

"I'm so close," she groans.

"Me too," you grunt, picking up the pace.

With just a few more thrusts Thea is cumming, her walls tightening around your cock and her eyes rolling back.

Seeing her like this takes you over the edge as well, riding out your highs together.

After cleaning yourselves up you're blissfully laying naked in her bed, a sheet loosely around your waists with her head on your chest when there's an urgent knocking on her door.

"Thea make yourself decent quickly, Diggle just called and Oliver's been in a motorcycle accident we need to go to the hospital right away," her mother says through the door with an obvious worry in her voice.

"Oh my god," Thea says, jumping out of bed and grabbing her clothes off the floor.

"Hey, what can I do for you?" You ask trying to comfort her as you both get redressed.

Thea opens her door surprised to see her mom is still standing there.

"Y/N you can help by seeing our guests out after we leave," Moira says.

"Of course Mrs. Queen," you say awkwardly, pulling your suit jacket on and kissing Thea's forehead before heading downstairs.

"Walter is bringing the car around," Moira says as they follow suit, "and Thea dear fix your dress, I do hope you two were using protection in there."

"Mom now is not the time for that!" Thea yelps in embarrassment realizing her dress is still half unzipped.

Well this certainly was the most eventful holiday Thea has had in a long time.

[shadowkoo]

Chasing Clouds - Prologue

→ Summary: Namjoon made the decision early on in his training that he would abstain from dating or entering any form of relationship while in active duty. He’s determined not to burden anyone with the likelihood of being to be notified of his death or causing pain to someone he loves by his long absence. Ironically, he found himself drawn to you, a doctor who challenges his beliefs and contradicts everything he upholds.

↠ knj x f.reader | 1k words | 18+ ↠ genre: military au, angst (future chapters include: doctor au, s2l, slow burn, smut, fluff, romance

→ Warnings: Read at your own risk! war, ptsd, bombs, guns, violence, injury, death, blood, (future warnings include: murder, use of other weapons, smut warnings)

→ Author Note: my favorite kdrama of all time is descendants of the sun and in honor of my fifth rewatch, I wanted to write this series! it takes place about a year after the show ends, just so you know the timeline :) i would recommend that you watch it first, but it’s not a requirement - it just gives insight to some of the character's personalities (plus i’ll take any opportunity to tell people to watch it lol)

Prologue

MAY 02 - 0340 - USTANA

The darkness of the night feels heavy; its weight is unsettling as the soldiers start their most recent assignment. Namjoon has an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s twisting and turning like never before. He isn’t usually nervous before missions; he hasn’t had a reason to be. He's always followed through and completed his tasks without issue; which is one of the main reasons everyone has such high hopes for him.

Tonight is different though, and he knows the others have the same odd feeling as they all take off their dog tags and set them aside. If captured, they need to remain anonymous.

"You guys know the drill. Once we locate the hostage, everyone will need to be attentive because it'll only be a matter of time until the whole building knows it's been breached. This isn't another exercise boys, lives are at stake here,” Big Boss, Captain Yoo Shijin, says to his team of special force soldiers.

"As this is the last mission of your training term, I expect nothing but excellence in your delivery of the hostage. We've orchestrated the specifics of this mission in such a way that will prove whether or not you are cut for these types of diplomatic high-profile assignments," Wolf, Big Bosses best friend Seo Daeyoung, adds.

"Whatever you do, don't compromise the mission. Don’t use your birth name to communicate, use the nicknames you were given, as well as ours," Big Boss hollers, finishing off their short speech as the back door of the aircraft opened.

Ustana, the country they’re secretly entering, is known for its drug and weapons problem due to its corrupt government. If things end badly, it will reflect on Korea. That’s why the team’s identities and nationalities can’t be known.

The plane jolts, narrowly missing the projectile that was aimed at the steel bird in the sky, solidifying the seriousness of the current situation below.

Namjoon repeats his orders to keep some level of sanity and peace of mind as he descended from the sky with the rest of the Puppy Pack, the soldiers in training to join the Alpha Team.

‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’

Once on the ground, he waits for the signal to ambush the guards watching the doors and proceeds to lead the group. Shijin and Daeyoung follow behind with the rest of the soldiers at their feet.

Daeyoung nods, giving Namjoon the go-ahead to align his gun on the enemy. This is the part he often tunes out. You need to be able to turn the switch, as he calls it, on and off with this kind of job.

He aligns his scope with the target and quickly pulls the trigger before moving to the others nearby before they even realize what’s happening. He watches as their bodies drop, waiting to see if anyone else runs into the room, but it’s quiet. Almost too quiet…

"Wildcat, All clear,” he says into his mic, letting the others know their access point is now safe for entry.

‘Find the hostage. Mislead the enemy. Return home. Stay alive.’

It takes less than two minutes for the group of highly trained soldiers to find the hostage. He’s badly beaten and unconscious, his body hunched over in the chair he’s tied to.

Wolf keeps watch by the side door while the team works on releasing the man. Jihoon, another one of the Puppy Pack trainees, helps Namjoon carry the man back to where the transport aircraft is waiting.

“I don’t want to jinx anything, but that was almost too easy…” Jihoon says, looking at Namjoon.

He agrees. Something’s not adding up…

He peers through the open door of the transport helicopter, gazing outside. They’re waiting for the last of the group to make their way onto the craft, and he just wants to ensure that everyone is safe. His shoulders relax when he can see their dark forms exiting the building.

Namjoon turns to look back at Jihoon, “I see them, they’re-” his sentence ends unfinished.

“What is that?” he says, taking a step closer to the unconscious hostage that Jihoon and a combat medic are helping. He points out the red blinking light on the man’s neck. It’s not a laser from a gun. It’s coming from inside his skin. ‘It’s almost as if…’ His thought trails off. “Run!” he screams, though it’s too late.

The bomb’s detonation rips through the helicopter, unleashing an intense burst of energy. In an instant, the searing shockwave propels fragments of debris outward. The air vibrates with a deafening roar, drowning out all other sounds.

The chaotic energy tears apart surroundings and scatters the remnants in all directions. A plume of smoke and fire billows upward, consuming everything in its path. The impact leaves a scene of devastation, marked by shattered glass, twisted metal, and a sense of raw destruction.

Namjoon feels the force of the explosion in his chest and is thrown far from his comrade, and debris crashes around him. His head bounces against the ground, and the ringing in his ears is so intense, he believes he will never hear again.

Jihoon is several feet away. His eyes are frozen open, and blood trails down his face from the head injury he suffers from. Namjoon reaches for his lifeless friend but it’s all too much.

Then, everything fades to black.

← series m.list | next →

©shadowkoo 2023. All rights reserved.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

What Happened to Trin? aka Paying Attention to My Favorite Straight Boy

Friends. Romans. Country men. 

I have a confession. 

Yesterday I reblogged a Shadow gifset of Josh cuddling Nai in the middle of the night after returning from his evening of smoking in the woods with Dan. In that reblog, I wrote the tag “Josh is my favorite straight boy in the show”. I showered praise upon him for being secure enough in his own sexuality to cuddle with the Known Queer. But I am concerned I may have been mistaken. 

I was chatting with @khathastrophe about some Shadow theories and she sent me a screen shot of a conversation she had had with @brazilian-whalien52 about her theories around Josh. 

Now, I personally do not think that Trin had a crush on Josh, unless they are intentionally obfuscating the context around the two conversations that Trin had with Joe where he did pretty much everything but explicitly state his feelings for Joe. And I hadn’t been thinking about Josh in relation to drugs, because yeah, he smoked weed, but if you couldn’t tell already, I have been hyperfocused on trying to unravel the One Armed Man thread and he is the only one I could remember having explicit ties to narcotics. 

BUT! I had already been working my way through a re-watch of Episodes 1-7 to see if there was any new information I could glean from the show now that I had better knowledge of all the characters and their relationships to one another. And tonight, I was already planning on watching Episodes 5-7, so I said “you know what? I have been 0% suspicious of Josh the entire way through, but this show is steeped in mystery and it would be irresponsible of me no to pay attention to the character that I write off…after all, in a mystery it’s always the inconspicuous ones,” 

And thus began my Josh!focused Rewatch of Episodes 5-7 (shout out to @so-much-yet-to-learn for bullying me about this, thank you for keeping me humble friend <3). 

Some things I noticed in Episode 5:

Anan was running against Trin for student body president 

When Trin is speaking in to the megaphone about wanting to change the bathrooms, Josh is in the crowd of students listening, but he does not participate in the chants everyone else is saying. And the second the Head Master appears, he is running off before he can really be registered as in attendance of this gathering. 

Josh was out of the room when Joe saw Trin’s ghost, he returns after Trin’s ghost disappears, and Josh has left the auditorium when Trin’s ghost reappears and Nai sees him following after Joe. 

Trin’s medical records state that he has bipolar disorder which can cause him to have hallucinations, he was off his medication, and he was using narcotics to treat his symptoms 

It is later revealed that Trin got a medical check up after his arm injury, where it was discovered that he had consumed marijuana. 

All in all there isn’t much to go off of here, expect that Josh seems rather non-committal to Trin’s policy changes, and he does not want to be seen in the company of unruly students. 

Episode 6, however, is where it starts getting interesting for me, because Episode 6 is where Josh invites Dan out for a little smoke sesh.  

Now, I will admit, at the time of my initial watch, most of the conversation between Dan and Josh whizzed right on past me, obviously the only reason he had called Dan out there was to ask if he liked Cha-aim and to showboat a little bit. But on this watch through, thinking about Trin and Josh and drugs, the conversation hit much different, and it warranted a theory. 

The Build Up

Dan asks Josh where he got the weed from, and Josh tells him he got it from a man named Bancha, an alumnus of the school who is a witch doctor. (now that I think about it, that is probably who this person is from the promos for Ep 8-14 (to your question @slayerkitty): 

ANYWAY, Josh tells Dan that Bancha is a hermit who lives near the woods, and is a witch doctor that can treat mental illnesses. He asks Dan if he’s been having trouble sleeping and upon hearing Dan confirm his sleeping issues, tells Dan that Bancha could totally help him get rid of his sleeping problems. 

So why did this start ringing alarm bells for me this time through? Because a) I was watching Josh with more scrutiny these episodes, b) I’ve been paying a probably unhealthy amount of attention to arms in Shadow over the last few weeks and c) I remembered more details about Trin. 

The Puzzle Pieces 

When Trin’s parents come storming in to Brother Anurak’s office pissed the fuck off because their sons medical records got leaked to the press, Brother Anurak mentions to them that Trin about a year ago (which is around the time Trin disappeared), Trin was treated in a hospital for an injury to his arm. 

We open Episode 1 of Shadow with Trin running through the forest, with his left arm bandaged up. 

Brother Anurak also tells Trin’s parents that he had weed in his system when he got that treatment. (When I heard this at first I brushed it off because it felt like between the mention of bipolar, hallucinations, and narcotics use, adding the weed on top was just a few too many things to try to discredit any potential intel Trin might have had and to distance the school more from his disappearance). 

Josh is the only person we have seen with weed (so far).  

Trin was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and did not like the medication he was on. He wanted to feel “normal” and to get off his medication, which we are told through a flashback conversation between Trin and Master Joe in the theater. We also learn that Trin is going somewhere, he wants to give Master Joe a pen of his to hold on to while he is away and tells Joe, “when I come back and I’m rid of this disease, I will give you your answer” [side note: Joe does not take Trin’s pen, yet he has it in his desk in 1999, so he had to get it back from Trin somehow]

In short, Trin wants to be cured of his bipolar disorder and this Banchan guy that Josh mentioned is a witch doctor that can treat mental illness. 

The Theory 

So with these things in mind, that Josh was in a lot of the flashback scenes with Trin, that Trin had smoked weed at some point before his disappearance, wanted to be rid of his mental illness, had an injured arm, and was running through the woods when we first are introduced to him, I came up with a theory. 

Josh played an active role in Trin’s disappearance. 

gif from @pharawee

With the crumbs they have presented to us so far, my theory is that at the beginning of Episode 1 we are seeing Trin escaping the witch doctor that Josh has convinced Trin to go see. Trin had an injured arm at the beginning of Episode 1, and Brother Anurak mentions an arm injury, so I’d have to imagine they are the same injury. Which means that Trin had probably smoked weed with Josh like Dan had smoked weed with Josh. I can imagine that Trin asked the same question about where Josh got his drugs from, and that Josh gave the same answer. I can imagine Josh potentially knowing about Trin’s medical diagnoses, or at least observing in part Trin’s own experience with hallucinations and relying on that to help convince Trin to go see the witch doctor. 

I can see Josh getting closer to Trin, close enough to get Trin comfortable with him, close enough to get Trin to trust him. I can see Josh and Trin sneaking out to the edge of the woods to smoke, and how that might make it easier to get Trin alone, away from prying eyes, and more comfortable with being in the forest at night. I can see Josh either walking Trin straight to the witch doctor’s door, or telling Trin how to get there. I can imagine the witch doctor trying to do something to “cure” Trin, whether that be an exorcism, a poisoning, an attempted murder, or something else entirely, and Trin managing to escape. Which would explain why we see him running through the woods, because as Josh said, Bancha lives right near the woods. 

I see some things repeating themselves in the promo for the second half of the season, namely Dan having his left arm bandaged the same way that Trin’s was at the beginning of the show and running through the woods looking behind him scared the same was Trin was at the beginning of the show.

Do I think Josh is alone in all of this? No. If he is involved in this at all, I literally have no gauge or understanding of how complicit and aware of what he is doing Josh is. If Josh did play a role in Trin’s disappearance, is he sticking so close to Nai because he feels guilty? Or if my theory does hold true and Josh is pulling Dan aside for conversations and smoke sessions, is he intentionally setting something up?

Josh seems really comfortable and at ease with being physically affectionate and flirty with Nai, despite the potential to be subjected to homophobia, yet he also thinks theater is gay and tells Dan not to join because people will think he is a fag (which, I believe is the closest translation of “toot” to English, fruitcake is certainly not it). 

When Trin was getting beaten up by Anan, Josh just puts his Walkman radio on and ignores the entire fight. Anan and Josh both say Trin is dead (and to be fair, if it were me and a student at my high school went missing a full year before, I would probably also assume they had died). 

Oh! And another thing, one of the drawings in Dan's vision of the One Armed Man was a camera, you know who is associated with cameras?

Josh, our resident Photographer and General Assistant

I think @brazilian-whalien52 made a great point in the conversation I had with her: “Shadow seems like the type of drama everybody had a little hand in. Not an individual blame, but a look through society and the roles we play that affect others,” 

All of which is to say, I unfortunately, will be withholding granting Josh “favorite straight boy” status in Shadow until the narrative proves my theory wrong.

[yellowloid]

my experience at am's show (rock in roma, ippodromo delle capannelle - 16/07/2023)

SO you know the drill by now this is the compulsory recap post i need to write because i'm terrified of forgetting about things and i also have so much more footage this time around (i basically recorded the whole concert while in paris i kinda did but idk i had much less stuff it was my first time so i was just too overwhelmed ajfnwidjsj). you knew it was coming i just needed to sort my thoughts out and i know some of those things have already been said but idc i'm writing them down anyway + i rewatched all my videos so i have a lot to say so LET'S GO

• first of all i want to preface this by saying that it was +40° degrees in rome and gates were opened at 3pm. opening bands started at ~6:30 and am came on stage at 9:40. needless to say everyone was cooking under the sun and slowly losing our collective minds i swear i've never drunk so much water my entire life and still felt like i was shrinking

• it was also my first proper concert standing in a pit + i was lucky enough to have tickets for the closest section to the stage and kind of a decent view despite the fact that i'm literally 5'2

• still i confirmed my opinion that i very much prefer seated tickets (not a big fan of standing in a crowd i must admit) ESPECIALLY when it comes to summer concerts because there was literally NO AIR just weed smoke and most importantly sweat i swear i couldn't breathe. we were fairly close to the stage but at what cost

• i wasn't particularly excited about the opening acts (as i wasn't for inhaler back in may) BUT i have to say they both slayed so hard??? willie j healey was so fucking cute and thoughtful with the crowd (we were under the shadow of the stage but the more far back section of the pit was directly under the scorching sun his whole set and he kept asking if they were okay) and the hives hyped up the crowd so fucking much??? their stage presence was incredible everyone loved them

• the breaks in between opening acts and am were filled with the festival replaying the same harry styles/rosalia/*random italian trapper* songs over and over again and at some point the crowd was about to riot because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TURN THAT SHIT OFF not even joking when i say we heard the same hs song at least 30 times i swear dante alighieri used that as inspiration to write his inferno

• everyone was sweaty dirty tired and kinda fucked up from the sun and by the time am was about to come on stage i was contemplating my chances of not passing out and praying to god clinging to the bit of energy i still had in me to hold on for just an hour and a half more

• just making it clear this wasn't in any way their fault they came on at the time they were supposed to and everything turned out fine it was just. concerts in rome in the middle of july are.........something

• BUT ANYWAY after hours of us slowly decomposing it was finally time for am!!!!!!!!!

• they opened with sculptures and honestly THANK GOD because (maybe unpopular opinion? idk idc argue with the wall) that is just how it should be. not a big fan of brianstorm as an opener

• alex introduced teddy picker by saying "haven't you heard? teddy is back!"

• he also introduced the view with "let's go back to the very beginning" at which my heard did a bit of a !!!!

• after the view and before 4/5 he randomly went "feeling professional... 🎶 tonight 🎶

• he was feeling sooooo silly the whole show (<3) but he really went crazy with the spoken antics during 4/5

• he clapped his hands as he sang "with coloured old grey whistle test👏 lights👏" which weirdly scratched something just right in my brain

• "and that's unheard of... here in roma or anywhere else for that matter... nobody's done that!"

• he changed the lyrics and went "the only time that I stop laughing is to breathe or steal a kiss" and then proceeded to send a kiss to the crowd

• "four stars out of five... why don't you put that in your [pile]? / four stars out of five... ten times out of nine"

• "four stars out of five... that's right... that's why i like it! 😜" at the very end, said in the most adorable tee-hee way i can't even begin to describe it

• the piano interlude before high was sprinkled with the saddest series of "why... why... why..." ever uttered by man 💔

• after high he said " fantastic! ... what a night"

• "i wanna tell you about a girl that i made up... 💁‍♂️ ages ago 💁‍♂️" as an introduction to arabella

• i'm sure you've seen the video going around but during arabella he noticed a fan was (i think?) crying and asked "are you okay?" before resuming his singing

• "the horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes...... ‼️RRRRRRROMAAAAAAA‼️......... as arabella"

• after the song ended he thanked the crowd by going "good work everyone... jolly good. grazie"

• he thanked the crowd a lot, said grazie/grazie mille a lot, and frequently said roma instead of rome (idk why i found that cute but yeah <3) and his way of rolling his r's when speaking italian was just too adorable i wanted to put him in a blender and drink him as a smoothie

• the version of do me a favour that they've been playing lately sounds slightly softer than the original and i'm all for it. it amplifies the vibe of exhausted resignation that lingers in the lyrics and it just sounds so devastating i love it

• he lifted the mic stand during the song +  pretended to break something in half during the "to start to break in half" line and yeah. that was also what he was doing to my heart

• no he did not have a mullet he just arranged his hair in a way that made it seem like it for a split moment. why did i see people on twitter hoping for the mullet........DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS

• "tremendous.... thank you 💅"

• also about that rumour going around of him pointing at louise during the "may i call you her name" - he literally acted out the whole line, pointed to himself, then at a random hypothetical you, then sidestage; he was not pointing at anyone specifically + why would anyone want that song dedicated to them lmao like. did the people saying it's romantic read the lyrics or

• also you know who else was in the general direction of him pointing? that's right everybody. mr jamie cook himself. maybe he uses he/she pronouns and alex wants to call someone jamie's name. have you considered that

• okay i'm sorry enough with the bullshit

• he said something during cornerstone and right before dancefloor that i caught on video but i can't really understand what he says so i'll probably end up posting those bits to see if we can figure out wtf he was on about

• "crawling back to you..... ‼️OH‼️ ever thought of calling when you've had a few"

• "🎶 ~rooomaaaaa~ 🎶.... thank you for having us everybody, what a beautiful audience.... soooo predictable i knowwww what you're thinkiiiing"

• he was so obsessed with crooning "roma" every chance he got <3 the silly <3333

• "lone ranger riding through an open space... THANKS A LOT in my mind when she's not right there beside me"

• now a list of random things he does at nearly every show that i still found very endearing:

- the "squeezed me very tightly" bit which is always so 💞💞💞

- "NO! you can't call me her name" with the NO said in the most 'child throwing a tantrum but make it cute' way

- the way he directed matt during the mirrorball intro and matt going 'y'all hear sumn?'

- "5......0......5......"

- him swaying his hips in a way that made everyone's knees buckle in a 10-mile radius

• about the interactions with the others: he didn't interact with them that much, i think he didn't even scissor with jamie during the body paint outro :( BUT we got the directing matt bit before mirrorball + a shout out to tom rowley

• i think in paris i noticed it less because i was seated, or maybe i just noticed it in a different way because i got some different songs (star treatment with the green/purple lights, pretty visitors with the red ones), but still - the lights are incredible and the fact that they create different lighting games for each song (like the blue ones for body paint or the golden ones for am songs) is so cool and fascinating i was mesmerised

• about the crowd: i made the mistake of getting into a telegram group of people who were going to see them and most of them were such casual fans they even believed the fake setlist that was going around a while ago as a joke on twitter 😭 the one with songs like the jeweller's hands. my brother in christ that's never going to happen

there were people going like "if they play r u mine i'm gonna die" and like bruh i appreciate the naivety but it's so painfully obvious they're gonna play it at least have a bit of creativity with your wishful thinking 😔

generally speaking the crowd was really REALLY hyped for am classics and wpsia/fwn oldies, while they were mostly completely dead during the car tracks it was disappointing to say the least. once again i was the only one popping my pussy

• BUT LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS. i was so fucking scared they wouldn't play cornerstone and perfect sense but mostly the latter bc it's much less likely to be played... and it meant so much to me to hear them live, i didn't get either of them at the paris show so i just. ugh. they're in my top 5 am songs if not my absolute favourites and they just mean so much i fucking needed to hear them

• AND THEY PLAYED THEM BOTH. they did it for ME. cornerstone had me so emotional and i'm not joking when i say perfect sense had me ugly sobbing while singing along

• i just. i love that song so much. he just looked so small on that stage singing such vulnerable lyrics, and even tho the crowd was mostly dead (rude if you ask me) he still finished the song by sending a kiss and saying the nth "grazie mille" and i just wanted to hug him so bad i was literally devastated i love him so much

• we also got the jet skis/star treatment/iwby mashup!!!!! most of the tiktok fans had no idea what was happening and kept singing the original lyrics while i once again popped my pussy rapping along with him. i'm so glad he decided to do it and i got to hear it live!!!! it just sounds so damn good ugh

• the setlist as a whole was everything i could've wished for i was so satisfied with it

• the show ended with him sending and catching kisses and just smiling so much i just wanted to tear him to pieces what who said that

• as usual they all sounded and looked INCREDIBLE and alex was just.......... ugh. the most gorgeous of boys. he's so beautiful it makes me SICK. the crowd was literally hypnotised by him, his charm and stage presence is CRAZY and everyone just can't help but stare at him in awe and reverence because his aura is just something else. no one does it like him fr. leaves me speechless every single time

• they're all so fucking beautiful and talented and seeing them feels like a fucking out-of-body experience every single time

• i miss them like air I MISS HIM LIKE AIR....... the pcd is hitting hard and i honestly have no idea wtf i'm gonna do with myself once tour is over and they yeet themselves out of the public scene for god knows how long i don't even want to think about it

• long story short i love them so much it literally hurts it's not even funny and i already want to see them again </3

• also bonus: after the show ended there was a HUGE traffic jam due to the fact that 35k people were trying to leave the place all at once SO we spent the next two hours (TWO HOURS) stuck in the parking lot exhausted dirty sweaty and still dying in the heat bc it was literally 1am but it was still so hot it was hell. then danza kuduro came on the radio and it was so random that was the last straw to send me k.o. for good

• overall crazy experience but yeah i love them so much i want to see them again sooooo bad </3 PLEASE COME BACK </3333

• so yeah that was my experience at rock in roma i hope you enjoyed my ramblings xx

[love-toxin]

unbitten - dwayne (lost boys)

plot: you may not have known that vampires existed until tonight, but you're not prepared to go down without a fight when you meet one face-to-face in your house.

cws: blood, referenced violence, knives, a "good girl" but otherwise gn, kissing, reader's a spitfire, implied stalking.

a/n: yes, i know this isn't stranger things, but a rewatch had me simping and my thirst had to be quenched so forgive me ♡

word count: 1.3k

You invited him in–you should have known this would happen.

You've seen him around the pier, hanging by that group of delinquents that always seem to be lurking where they aren't welcome. Driving off on those bikes that roar throughout the night, lights dwindling as they set off into who knows where. You're not all that sure where people like that are welcome, but it certainly isn't anywhere in Santa Carla. Certainly not your home either.

Yet, this is where you find yourself. A tall, dark-haired, bloodied man facing off with you in your living room, nose smeared with crimson that he just licks off his lips with a toothy smirk. Fangs. No average man sports fangs for anything but a fad–nor tries to bite you when you're making a phone call for him to get help, thinking that you should, out of the kindness of your heart, get a mechanic out here for him so he can fix up his bike and get on home. Living alone up on the hill, he probably thought you would give in without a fight–but the dark-haired man with eerily sharp teeth doesn't know you just like you don't know him, which is exactly how you had managed to catch him off guard by cracking him in the nose with the phone.

"Stay back!" You threaten him with the knife you'd snatched off your kitchen counter as you'd dashed away from him initially, the chase starting there by the landline in your kitchen and ending here on the carpet in your living room.

"Or what?" You weren't expecting his voice to be that deep. You readjust your grip on your weapon, raising it a bit higher. Aiming it right at his chest, readied in case he lunges for you so you can get this motherfucker right in the heart, right where it hurts. The blade isn't silver or wood, but it's all you got.

"Or I'll bust your lip up next." He chuckles, and you have to fight not to let your grip slip on the handle. His confidence is aggravating, that smug grin like he's already won even more so. He may be some kind of monster, but you're the only one here with a weapon. "You think I'm joking?! I will!"

"Calm down, sweetie." He takes a leisurely step towards you, shoes sinking into your carpet from the sheer weight and size of him. He towers over you easily, could crush you with those arms and those big thighs and those feet, could keep you still while he does whatever he wants with you. That's exactly why you're so determined not to give him the chance, jabbing the air in front of you with the knife when he takes another step, so he knows just how hard you'll stab if he gets any closer.

"I'll calm down when you get the fuck out of my house." You warn lowly, the amount of warnings he's getting quickly dwindling before you swear you'll do something drastic. He raises his hands in mock surrender, offering some sort of submission so he can safely take another step. By now, he's barely a few inches from you, and you haven't even realized that the knife has drawn back closer to your torso as he approaches. Subconsciously avoiding touching him with it because really, deep inside, you don't have the stomach to kill someone. Not like he does. He lowers his hands when he's close enough to breathe on, and motions for you to put it down–and you follow it, your true fear shining through in the way your hands shake as he touches them.

"Good girl."

The clatter and thunk of the blade hitting the carpet echoes in the quiet, falling off to the side so there's really no chance of you grabbing it before he can grab you. But any regret or thoughts of what you've just done fall silent when he leans in, huge, warm hand cupping your cheek, and brushes those soft lips against yours. They're shockingly soft, so unlike the rest of his demeanour, and while he tastes of musky cigarette smoke and the metallic tang of his own blood, the only firm part about it all is your fingers gripping his leather jacket. The tip of his nose bumps yours as he deepens it, tilting his head slightly to spread your lips by gentle force and slide his tongue past them to meet yours. Warm and thick like…like he's not some creature of the night, but human, beautifully human with the warmth of a man you might otherwise give the time of day.

You can't even put a name to the face, to those lips and those deep, dark eyes, and that stoic smirk that you don't want to admit has you entangled with him like a snake with a mouse. But you let yourself get swept up in the taste of him, in the scent of his aftershave and evergreen cologne that overwhelms any and all sense you should have with this man that just tried to drink your blood.

"See? Don't wanna kill you," He murmurs into your mouth when he finally breaks it off, thumb rubbing your cheek in slow swipes as he lets his forehead rest against yours. Eyes drinking up the myriad of emotions swimming in your own. "Just thought you were too pretty not to taste."

The vampire licks his lips and sinks his teeth into his bottom one, sucking it back and letting it free so you can see how flushed and rosy it gets between his fangs. The taste of his blood on your tongue is what finally draws those words out of you that have been bubbling in the back of your throat, threatening to spill around the lump you have to swallow back.

"Get out." You tremble, voice and body and all, your brow narrowing as your grip tightens once more on his jacket, before you shove him away and watch even more fearfully when he barely flinches. All that strength just to be looked at like you're some sickly kitten hissing at him to stay away. He just smiles in that way he does and walks himself backwards slowly, eyes trained on you and only you, until his feet have crossed the threshold of your home. A wink, and that's when he steps down on to your porch and the breeze of the night whips his long hair gently about his face.

"You just let me know when you want me back." That'll never happen, you're so tempted to say, even though you're hot with shame knowing that that's such a lie. It takes only a matter of seconds for you to rush for the door, and you slam it closed in his face and fumble for the lock, the clicking filling the new breath of silence that's fallen over your home. While you press your ear to it to hear for his footsteps as he walks away, you hear none–and glancing out the window to the side of the doorway reveals nothing on your porch or the steps. Just the gentle wind breezing past your chimes and causing them to tinkle quietly with no semblance of rhythm.

Just wait another night, you'll see. You'll be even more ashamed by how quickly you resign yourself to this heat stirring in your stomach, growing even stronger when your eyes meet with the vampire's over the crowd of the boardwalk tomorrow night. And when you finally realize how long he's been watching, waiting, patiently hoping for that perfect moment to make you one of them–to make you his.