#i mean I’m grateful but it’d be nice if in these dreams we actually TALK lmao

[pedroscurls]

What are the odds that I have yet another dream of Pedro Pascal?

except this time his look was all Frankie

[michwritesstuff]

Late Nights (The Outer Banks: Rafe Cameron)

This song just gives giant Rafe Cameron enemies to lovers vibes! Also, Holy shit, this is my longest work ever! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much I enjoyed writing it!

This takes place season 1, before Rafe kills Peterkin. Let’s just pretend he’s not a psychopath. He’s still the resident bad boy of Figure 8, but not a killer…

summary: female reader (she/her) x Rafe Cameron When Y/N finds herself abandoned by her friends at a house party thrown by no other than Kook King, Topper Thornton, she finds odd company in the form of her classmates and neighbors that she has taken very little liking to. She is surprised to learn that her disinterest in all things “kook-related” has sparked the interest of a particular kook. tw: mention of alcohol/drug consumption, slight smut (18+) word count: 4.1k

Y/N might’ve been a kook, but if it wasn’t for her consistent attendance to Figure Eight events you wouldn’t have known. She hated all the superficial bullshit and quickly found herself befriending a certain group of pogues who she would often run into while working on the Cut. Everything in her life had been so easy for her, and although she was grateful, she couldn’t help but feel guilty about the privilege she received while her friends had spent their life fighting for a chance. Being able to find an ally in Kie was all that Y/N had to look forward to as she continued to find a place for herself among the fight between class divisions in her small hometown.

Summer was coming to an end, and with a few weeks left you couldn’t help but just enjoy the moments with your friends. Sitting on the small boat as the sun slowly set, passing the blunt around while you all tried to keep a serious conversation going before blurting out laughing at some stupid shit JJ had said. You had even found an unlikely friend in the form of kook princess, Sarah Cameron. You had known Sarah Cameron for as long as you could remember, always greeting each other’s families at events and having at least one class together every year. But this was different, you had known Sarah but never gave her a chance to hang out. When John B mentioned her a few weeks ago and started to bring her around you and the other pogues were stunned to say the least. You knew that she was dating Topper Thornton, I mean everyone knew that, but what she had with John B was different, at least from what you had seen. “This was great guys, but I promised Topper I would meet him at his party. Keep up appearances, you know?” Sarah said unsurely. Everyone looked around, nodding in understandment, except John B. “I don’t like him,” JJ spoke up, standing up for John B who continued sulking in silence. “Yeah, him and Rafe are always doing some shit,” Pope also spoke up. “You guys have no idea,” Kiara replied while rolling her eyes at the thought of the kook boys she had known so well. You also nodded in response. “Yeah, well I would invite you guys, but I can’t imagine that going over well.” Once again everyone nodded in agreement, except John B. “What if Y/N goes with you,” he suggested. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus!” you exclaimed back at him. Sarah turned to you with a shy smile, “It’s not such a bad idea. I mean you would know almost everyone.” “Yeah, so does Kie, you don’t see her being volunteered to go,” you exclaimed again. “That’s because they actually like you,” Kie replied, smirking when you rolled your eyes at her statement, she was right. “C’mon Y/N it’ll be fun. You’ll have me to hang out with and if you absolutely hate it, we’ll make up an excuse and leave. Besides, it’d be nice to have someone there that I don’t need to be fake with.” You thought for a moment before slowly nodding your head, cursing under your breath as your friends cheered around you. “There’s our little kookie,” JJ stated, jumping away in defense as you attempted to punch his arm.

The bass of the music pounded in your ears as you walked up the driveway. If even possible it got louder once you finally entered the front door, you swore your eardrums were about to rupture. Finding the kitchen, you reached out for two truly’s, your disappointment in the night continuing as feeling they were just room temperature. They weren’t your first choice of alcohol to get through a night like this and seeing as though they weren’t even cold made it worse. You instantly cracked it open, downing as much as you could on the first sip. You handed the other one to Sarah, bumping your open can to her’s in an attempt to say cheers. She laughed at you, “I’m gonna go find Topper. You’ll be okay if I leave you alone for a few minutes?” You took another sip before responding, “Figured this would happen at some point, yeah I’ll be good.” Watching her leave your eyes scanned the kitchen, deciding you needed to loosen up some more you pushed off the counter, “I need something stronger,” you whispered under your breath.

Making your way through the house you scanned the room for unattended bottles you could mooch off. To your surprise you were pulled by the arm, “Omg Y/N, what are you doing here?” a girly high-pitched voice screeched. You turned around, already ready to use your preppy voice, “Hey Claire,” you responded in a mock happy voice matching hers. Claire was sweet, n just not your cup of tea. The two of you had always been civil, sharing a few classes here and there. “Mind if I?” you asked, gesturing to the bottle of Tito’s vodka in her hand. “Oh sure, just be careful. I’ve gotten fucked up with this shit more times than I could remember,” she laughed while handing you the bottle. You lift the bottle up to your lips, the taste on the rim barely making an impact on your tastebuds. But as you thew your head back and lifted the bottle you took one big swig. The alcohol ran down your throat, a warmth following the path it took as it settled in your stomach. “Ugh, Claire, that shit is just straight rubbing alcohol. How the fuck do you drink that?” you exclaimed, handing her the bottle as you wiped the back of your mouth with your hand. She laughed at your reaction, “Believe me, in a little while you won’t even care how it tastes. Just know that you’ll feel it.” You nodded your head while once again scanning your eyes across the room. A few feet away was a coffee table surrounded by teens. Claire noticed your interest and dragged you over. Looking up from the table was Rafe Cameron, Sarah’s brother, who on more than one account you had gotten into a heated argument about your choice of friends. The two of you made eye contact as he wiped the leftover residue from the line of cocaine he had just done. Classy as ever Cameron, you thought as you broke eye contact and examined all the other teens waiting their turn. Rafe greeted Claire with a smirk and half-nod before returning his attention to you. “Awww Y/L/N, get tired of hanging around those boring old pogues, and decided to have some real fun?” he mocked while gesturing to the lines set up in front of him. You scoffed at his suggestion, “Keep dreaming,” you responded. Living in your teenage years and drinking was one thing, but if your parents caught you doing drugs there was a good chance you wouldn’t have much of a life to live. Making eye contact with you he slowly lowered himself closer to the table, quickly doing another line before looking up at you again. Is this kid trying to kill himself? you thought to yourself. You reached out for Claire’s bottle, taking another swig before motioning it up to Rafe. “Always a pleasure Cameron,” you stated before handing Claire her bottle.

Leaving the room, you realized that you hadn’t seen Sarah for a while. Wandering around the house in attempt to find her you bumped into Topper. “Hey Top, seen Sarah anywhere?” you asked. “Uhm a little while ago, she said she went to go find you,” he said quizzingly. “Yeah, right. Just kidding, she went to the bathroom. I’ll go find her,” you quickly spitted out. Nearly running you got away from Topper as fast as you could before finding an empty spot on the wall. Leaning back against the wall, you pulled your phone from your pocket and found a few texts from Sarah and one from John B. “Hey Y/N, John B showed up.” “We just left, please distract Topper.” “I owe you one.” You responded back, “ughh ok, I’m on it.” Clicking on John B’s name you read his message, “sorry kookie, had to steal her. thanks!” You rolled your eyes at the dumb nickname him and the others decided for you, their attempt to always tease you about your kook lifestyle. You sent him the middle finger emoji and a yellow heart before turning your phone off and looking around for Topper. Spotting him talking to Kelce you kept your place on the wall. As long as you could see him and he couldn’t see you, there was no reason to suspect anything about Sarah. Besides, after about half an hour you could probably make a break for the exit, and no one would notice.

As you continued to scroll on your phone you were slightly startled by the presence of another human standing near you. Your eyes looked up to a boy standing in front of you. He was tall, but you couldn’t ignore how young and immature he looked. “Don’t even think about it freshman,” you said before he had the chance. He laughed while nodding his head. “Hey, I had to try. Should’ve known a girl as smart as you wouldn’t give me a chance,” he responded. You gave him a quizzical look as you quickly glanced him up and down. He wasn’t too dumb if he knew to compliment your intelligence over any physical feature. He reached his hand out to shake yours, “I’m Nathan.” You glanced at his hand for a second before reluctantly shaking it “I’m Y/N,” you replied. “I know,” he said a little too quickly making the both of you chuckle. “Mrs. Nichol said you were the captain of the mock trial team. She talked to you the other day about me joining,” he rambled on. You laughed at his apparent nervousness. “Oh yeah, well I guess it’s nice to meet you, Nathan. Not exactly the type of place to bring up extracurriculars,” you laughed while motioning to the number of teens, drugs, and alcohol around you. As you did you could feel the stare from a certain kook, no doubt watching your exchange with the boy in front of you. “Probably not, but it did get you talking to me,” he quirked back. Nodding your head in amusement at his reply you responded, “Touché.” As the volume of the music had apparently increased within the last few seconds of your exchange, Nathan leaned forward slightly so he could hear you better. “Can I get you something to drink?” He asked while leaning down. “I can take it from here,” you heard Rafe speak from behind you as he slid his hand around to the small of your back. Confused by the situation unraveling in front of you, you were quick to speak. “Uhm, actually Cameron, Nathan and I were having a lovely conversation about something you couldn’t possibly be interested in,” you stated attempting to distance yourself away from Rafe and closer to Nathan. “Yeah, I—” Nathan attempted to speak before being interrupted, “Seriously, Miller, beat it or practice on Monday will be hell.” You confusingly looked at Nathan and Rafe before finally understanding. Just like you would be Nathan’s captain, so was Rafe. “Water polo?” you questioned. “Yeah, you’ll catch a game?” he asked in return. “Yeah!” you said sweetly before a mocking scoff turned your attention to Rafe, to which your surprise still had his hand on the small of your back, it almost felt natural that you hadn’t noticed it was still there. Looking at him expectantly he pulled his hands away holding them up in an ‘ok I get it’ way. “Can I help you?” you asked expectantly. “Care to go for a swim?” he asked. You looked at him confused, you weren’t sure if it was your light buzz from your shots of vodka talking but he seemed just as surprised as you were as you answered, “yes!”

As he grabbed your hand, you quietly followed as he led you through the house. “I’m gonna need more alcohol before we do this,” you exclaimed as loud as you could, hoping he would hear you over the volume of the music. He turned to look at you for a moment before turning back and nodding, showing that he had in fact heard your request. Walking through the kitchen he left you at the counter while reaching into one of the cabinets, pulling down a full bottle of Tito’s. He motioned you from your spot and you continued to follow. “My parents got this as a gift for the Thornton’s but it’s not really their style.” You nodded understandingly, Topper’s parents didn’t really seem like the type to be chugging back vodka shots, they were more sophisticated. Following him through the house you were confused as you walked past the sliding glass door that led to the pool and the dozens of other teens who had the same idea you two had, or so you thought. “Where are we going?” you asked. Rafe stayed silent as you continued following him. Opening another set of glass doors, he let you exit first before quickly following. On the side of the house was a hot tub that apparently no one knew about, seeing as though you and Rafe were the only ones out here. “What the hell is this, Cameron?” you asked. He looked at you, confusion evident on his face. “You said we were going swimming. We can’t do that in a hot tub.” He laughed before handing you the now open bottle of Tito’s, watching you take a sip he replied, “What, did you plan on working on your breaststroke or something?” He said jokingly. “No, I actually planned on playing mermaids. Maybe it’s you who needs to work on breaststroke,” you responded wittily. He feigned shock and hurt, taking the bottle from your hand. “My breaststroke is amazing, just ask your friend Claire,” he winked as you scoffed in amusement and disgust. After taking another sip he handed the bottle back to you, removing his clothes he stripped down until he was in his boxers. That left little to the imagination as you could see the outline of his dick printed. Feeling your eyes, he gave you a smirk to which you sheepishly took another sip of vodka, shaking as you felt the liquid burn down your throat. Entering the hot tub, he sat with arms spread out to both his sides, resting on the edge. “Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked. You nodded, feeling your breath catch in your throat. You handed him the bottle, starting to undress as you felt his eyes drawn to your exposed skin where you had begun to lift your shirt. “Hey! Turn around Cameron,” you exclaimed. He put his hands up in defense, turning his head so his attention was drawn to the bubbles and pressure coming from the jets. Folding your shirt and jeans on to the table nearby you turned back around to Rafe examining your exposed body adorning a basic black sports bra and lace thong. You immediately turned red, not knowing how to react under his intense stare. As you entered the hot tub you slipped when placing your foot on the bench to step in, landing you a little closer to Rafe then you planned. He held your arm as you attempted to steady yourself. “You alright?” he asked. You were able to manage out a “mhmm” as you reached for another sip from the bottle. He gladly handed you the bottle, a lazy smile on his face.

You weren’t sure how you always ended up like this but something about being drunk and outside led to you staring at the moon and stars. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Rafe asked, breaking the silence. You tried to remain calm with his choice of words, not wanting him to know the effect he was having on you. “Just thinking,” you responded quietly. “About what,” you scanned his face for a second, genuine interest radiating off him. “As niche as it sounds, life…I mean doesn’t this all seem so pathetic,” you stated as you continued to stare off into the sky. “Life?” he asked, laughing to mask his confusion. You chuckled along with him, “No, this…pogues vs. kooks. It’s all so fucking dumb. There are so many more problems out there, so many people who need help and we can’t even come together to help people in our own community.” He just hummed as you continued to ramble on, listening to what you had to say. “I can’t help but just feel guilty. I mean what did I do to deserve this type of life. I mean my parents work hard but they’ve had so many opportunities because of their parents and their parents, and it just keeps going. This sort of generational wealth and success…” you quietly trailed off as you realized who you were talking to. “But I mean you probably don’t care,” you said while looking at him. He shook his head with a smirk. “Now I know why Sarah never shuts up about how smart you are.” You looked at him more intently, “what?” you exclaimed. He nodded his head, before turning his attention to the sky like you had before. “I mean, I guess I just never thought of it that way. Kind of blind to the privilege that I have.” “Must be all the coke,” you mumbled to yourself under your breath. He shot you a warning look before chuckling, “might be the coke,” he responded. You laughed along with him before a serious tone washed over him. “I mean it Y/N, you’re just so attuned to the needs of others,” He exclaimed. “Well, you can be like that too,” you reassured him. “Yeah right, there’s not a lot of hope left for me,” he replied sarcastically. “That’s not true. I mean sure you have your flaws, but from what I’ve seen you’re a good friend, loyal and family is important to you. Those are good qualities, and I mean of course you’re not half bad looking.” He laughed at the last part. “Well, Y/L/N, you’re extremely caring, intelligent, and hot as fuck! So, you have that going for you.” It was your turn to laugh and turn red at his comment.  You weren’t sure if it was the alcohol dulling your senses, but as you looked into Rafe’s eyes you felt yourself being drawn closer. You both leaned in, lips barely brushing each other as your breaths slowed. “Can I kiss you,” he asked. You could barely hear him over the sound of your own heart beating in your chest. “Please,” you nearly whined. Your tone making Rafe swoon as he gently pushed his lips onto yours.

As happy as you were with his gentleness, the alcohol you had consumed throughout the night had made you far hornier than you liked to admit. Leaning deeper into the kiss you gently placed your hands onto his chest before lightly pushing him back to so you could straddle his lap. As you did so, Rafe took a large sip from the bottle, as you looked at him expectantly. He gave you a smirk before bringing the bottle close to your lips, tilting your head back, you let him pour some of the alcohol down your throat. Before you could process the liquid once again burning the back your throat you pressed a heated kiss on to his lips. As your hands moved up from their place on his chest to the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair, his hands move from where he was setting the bottle down to trailing around your waist and landing on your ass, holding you in place. As your tongues continued to fight for dominance, he pulled away slightly. Kissing down your jaw and starting to suck on your neck you slightly grinded down on to him while continuing to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. His hands left your waist, guiding your hips back and forth as you continued to grind on him. As he continued to work on your neck you moaned as he found your sweet spot, “Fuck Rafe,” you exclaimed. You could feel him smirk as he continued. Giving him a break, you leaned forward slightly, changing the angle to which you were grinding down on him and leaving marks over his neck and chest. “Fuck babe,” he stated. “Being so good to me,” he continued as he leaned in for another kiss. “Yes, sir,” you said, testing the waters. You could clearly tell that you were starting to drive Rafe crazy as he moaned into your mouth at your response. Roughly grabbing your hip, he speeded the pace of your grinding. As you continued to litter marks along his chest, he reached a hand up to pull your sports bra down far enough so that your boobs were spilling over the top. The pressure of the band along with the added sensation of Rafe’s mouth on your nipple was almost too much. Along with this you could feel how hard he had gotten under you. I mean, you knew he was big, but this was godly. Your makeout session was quickly abrupted as you both snapped your heads to the sound of the glass doors sliding open. Quickly removing yourself from Rafe’s lap and adjusting your bra, you sat silently, reaching for the bottle again. “What’s up Top?” Rafe asked nonchalantly. Topper looked at you both slyly, clearly knowing what he half-witnessed between the two of you. “Not much, I can’t find Sarah anywhere Y/N. And she’s not answering her fucking calls.” “Yeah, she wasn’t feeling well. Said she headed home; her phone probably died. Don’t worry Top,” you said as convincingly as the alcohol would let you. Topper seemed to accept your answer and reentered the house. Rafe looked at you unconvincingly. “She just left you?” he asks. Avoiding his gaze, you let your hands play with the water. Slowly nodding your head, you responded, “guess so…” “That doesn’t sound like Sarah,” he continued. “Well that’s what happened,” you snapped. Thinking about the conversation you would have to have with Sarah about how you failed to keep Topper distracted and the alcohol finally making its presence in your system known was too much to handle. “Ughh back to reality, I guess,” you groaned out. Rafe pulled you into his side so that his arm was around your shoulder and your head resting on his. “What are you up to now?” he asked. “Figuring how to make it home alive,” you chuckled dryly. He hummed in thought next to you. After a second, he spoke, surprising you in the process, “Stay with me.” “Rafe…” you dragged out unsurely. “Seriously Y/N, that way you don’t have to worry about going home right now.” You looked at him for a second before slowly nodding. Getting out of the hot tub he disappeared for a second before returning with a set of towels. As you both dried yourselves off and gathered your clothes you headed to Topper’s guestroom.

Stumbling around in your drunken state, Rafe grabbed the clothes from your hand. Setting them on a nearby table he turned so that you were facing each other. Reaching down slightly he grabbed your legs from under your thighs so that he was now carrying you. Feeling the warmth of his chest you pressed closer, wrapping your legs around his hips in the process. With each step you slightly bounced against him. The sexual tension from earlier quickly returning. Finally reaching the room Rafe laid down so that you were now on your back while he hovered over you. With your legs around his waist and arms around his neck you gently pulled him in, pecking a sweet kiss on your lips. “I need to shower,” you said shyly. He nodded his head, pulling away slightly so he was standing, and you stayed sprawled out on the bed. “I’ll go get us some water,” he stated as he slowly walked out the room. Leaving the door cracked enough so he wouldn’t bother anyone with the sound of it opening and closing you sat up, finally taking in your surroundings. Getting up and heading to the bathroom you folded your towel, pulling off your bra and underwear as you let the water run until it was hot enough. As you let the water run over your body you stood for a minute, just thinking about everything that had happened that night, you rub your hands down your face, muttering “fuck.” You weren’t sure what was happening, but it was a problem future you would just have to deal with later.

a/n: If you like my work please support by liking/reblogging. Also, feel free to message me about ideas. I haven’t written in a while because I don’t have a lot of time, but when inspiration hits i’ll sit down for hours :)

Masterlist

[cherienymphe]

Fallen Angels (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

WARNINGS: Cop!Bucky, mentions of kidnapping, NON-CON, trusting reader

IF ANY OF THIS OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DNI

This takes place in the same universe as Protect & Serve. You don’t need to read Protect & Serve to follow along as this takes place before Protect & Serve

➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers​}

summary:  Bucky thinks you’re the sweetest thing to grace this earth, and he’ll do the unspeakable to get what he wants

~

You heaved another sigh as you made your way up the steps to the police station. It was warm out, a soft breeze ruffling the bottom of your dress. The sun beat down on your face, making you squint, the heat only adding to your annoyance. You didn’t even know why you got annoyed anymore. It wasn’t as if this was exactly new for you.

“Y/N!”

You threw the woman behind the counter a small strained smile, shoulders sagging as you approached her.

“Hi, Jane,” you sadly said. “I’m here for my sister.”

There was a spark of recognition in her eyes, nodding while returning your strained smile.

“Of course.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, turning away as she disappeared into the back. You swallowed, briefly reaching up to rub your forehead and resisted the urge to a sigh again. You couldn’t believe that you had to leave work yet again to come and deal with your sister’s neverending drama. 

You turned as soon as you heard a door open, watching a familiar face bring another familiar face into the room, his large frame making her look small. Officer Barnes greeted you with his usual smile while you returned it with a sheepish one. How many times had you watched him carry her through that door? How many times had you felt sheer embarrassment at her behavior? 

“Where was she?” you quietly asked.

“Stumbling through the park,” he said with a shrug.

“Thank you,” you breathed, genuinely meaning it. “I can never thank you enough.”

How many times had you thanked him?

“Hey,” your sister slurred, eyes bleary as she struggled in his firm hold, legs trembling. “Don’t talk about me...like I’m not here.”

“Sorry,” you murmured, and she rolled her eyes, head falling back.

You reached for her, but Officer Barnes shook his head.

“Let me help her to your car. It’s the least I can do,” he said.

You started to argue, but decided against it and swallowed your words. You led him outside, the mumblings of your drunk sister reaching your ears. He was gentle as he placed her into the passenger seat, and you frowned at her as she laid her head on the dashboard.

“Really, thank you,” you said, looking to him as soon as he shut the door.

He folded his arms over his chest, leaning against your car as he gazed at you with a look you couldn’t place. He did that a lot.

“I can’t keep letting her off the hook forever, you know,” he told you, making your heart drop.

You knew that. You had known it for a while, probably since the second time. You didn’t know why Officer Barnes, and the station by extension, always let your sister off easy every time she was found drunk somewhere, but you were grateful nonetheless. You couldn’t keep taking advantage of his generosity though.

“How is Officer Wilson?” you asked, changing the subject.

The blue-eyed man smirked at the mention of his roommate and colleague.

“Still as much of a pain in my ass as ever,” he answered, making you chuckle.

“You know, as much as you insult him, I think you’d really miss him if something ever happened to him,” you said with a grin.

Officer Barnes joined you, eventually nodding with a smile of his own.

“You’re probably right. He’s still a pain though,” he agreed, walking with you to your side of the car.

You paused when you placed your hand on the door, swallowing with your eyes to the ground before looking to him again. You really couldn’t appreciate him enough, but like he said, you knew he couldn’t continue to let your sister off of the hook.

“I really hope this will be the last time,” you whispered.

Officer Barnes frowned, dark brows lowering as he heaved a sigh, sounding as tired as you felt.

“Did you ever think…”

He paused, shifting on his feet before continuing.

“Maybe a few days in jail will do her some good. I mean, what kind of lesson can she learn if you keep bailing her out?”

You couldn’t say that you hadn’t considered it, but you sadly shook your head.

“I can’t do that to her. She’s family,” you quietly replied.

He studied you for a bit before nodding, running his eyes over you with a soft hum.

“No, of course not. You’re too sweet for that,” he said.

You blinked, unsure of how to respond to that, so you simply thanked him again and said your goodbyes. He didn’t move as you got in and drove off, his stare piercing your rearview mirror until he was nothing but a speck in the distance.

When you finally arrived home, your sister was barely able to stand at all. You got her as far as the living room before your arms gave out, depositing her onto the couch. After placing a small trash can beside her, you went into the kitchen to make some coffee and put together a little hangover concoction that you’d been using for years.

As she slept off the alcohol, you couldn’t help but to think about Officer Barnes’ words. Not just him admitting that this couldn’t go on forever, something you already knew, but his proposal to let your sister spend a few nights in jail. You had thought about it. That wasn’t a lie, but you didn’t think it’d do any good. It wasn’t that simple. Your sister needed professional help.

You wondered if you could get Officer Barnes or even Officer Wilson to help you out with that. You didn’t think that your sister would react too kindly to an intervention. You suddenly shook your head, telling yourself that you needed to stop relying on them so much. Especially Officer Barnes. 

You’d known them both for years, ever since they moved to the city during your 3rd year of college. They’d been mere officers in training then. You remembered even having a slight crush on Officer Wilson, but that had died the minute they found your sister the first time, wandering around the city drunk and belligerent. You had been so embarrassed, telling yourself that no one in their right mind would get mixed up with a family like yours, no matter how small it was.

Officer Barnes was always the one to find her. He never judged her nor did he ever hint that he was even thinking any kind of negative thoughts. He’d always been much nicer than either of you deserved, and you mentally reminded yourself to bake him some cookies. You suspected that his love for your food was the main reason he let your sister off the hook time and time again.

It was hours later, when you were taking the fresh cookies out of the oven, when you heard your sister stir. You turned just as she stumbled into the kitchen, struggling to open her eyes. You grabbed her a cup.

“I made coffee. It’s not as fresh as I would like it to be but…”

You trailed off, handing it to her. Her eyes were wide open now, and she gratefully took it, gulping it down.

“Thank you,” she breathed as soon as she was done.

The silence was awkward, and the smell of fresh cookies wafted through the air. It was an odd picture.

“So,” you started, playing with your fingers. “What was it this time?”

Your sister heaved a sigh, setting her mug down as she leaned against the counter.

“I got fired today.”

Your face fell, shoulders dropping as sympathy tore through you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, meaning it.

“Don’t be. It beats sleeping with my decrepit former boss,” she scoffed.

Your eyes widened as you registered the implication behind her words, and your heart clenched. You stepped towards her, reaching out.

“Are you serious? T, we should tell someone. File a lawsuit or something-.”

Her laugh cut you off, and you frowned at her.

“Have you met the guy? He has more money than either of us could ever dream of. It’d be a waste of time,” she sneered.

You shook your head.

“You don’t know that. You’re probably not the only woman he’s done this to. I’m sure with the right lawyer-.”

“This is the real world, Y/N? Where those in power take advantage of the rest of us as they see fit,” she told you, making your frown deepen.

Your bit your lip, not exactly agreeing with her but opting to swallow your words. You watched as she neared the pan of cooling cookies and ran her eyes over them with a light scoff.

“Who is this for? Officer Barnes?” she mockingly wondered, a look of disgust on her face.

“Yes, actually,” you said, ignoring her tone and reaching to get a plate. “Do you want one?”

“You should really stay away from him, you know.”

“Well, that’s kind of hard to do when you keep getting arrested for public intoxication,” you threw back.

You immediately cringed, turning to face her, surprised to find not an offended look on her face, but merely a shocked one. She crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head at you.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just… He’s a nice man, T. A good man. Much more than we deserve. Anyone else would have put you before a judge a long time ago.”

She chuckled, reaching past you to grab a cookie.

“Gee, I wonder why that is.”

Her tone confused you, and she shook her head at you.

“The guy’s a creep. No amount of friendly smiles can hide that,” she tossed over her shoulder as she left the kitchen.

You frowned at her words before shaking your head and sliding the cookies onto a plate.

A week later, you were thankful that your sister seemed to be doing better. Normally she needed a month to really get herself together to at least try and get back on her feet again, but her uncharacteristic behavior both shocked you and made you proud. However, when your doorbell rang at almost 1 in the morning, you realized that you had spoken too soon.

“Oh my God,” you breathed.

You had swung the door open and come face to face with none other than Officer Barnes and your sister, the latter almost keeled over. She would have been face first into the ground if it wasn’t for the man holding her up.

“Her room is this way,” you told him as soon as you let him in.

She mumbled a few times as he followed your lead, quieting altogether when he placed her on her bed. He made sure that she was on her side, and you heaved a tired sigh as he followed you down the hall.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-.”

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your shoulder and stopping you.

You turned to face him, shaking your head.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, much quieter this time.

Officer Barnes just stared at you, brows drawn together as he rubbed your shoulder, attempting to calm you down.

“It’s okay-.”

“No, it’s not. I really...I really thought this time would be different. I did.”

“I know you did-.”

“...and there are actual criminals out there who need to be dealt with but instead you’re here dealing with me and my sister again.”

You placed your hands over your face as your voice cracked, and your shoulders trembled as you held in all of the emotions threatening to spill.

“God, all of the cookies in the world can’t make up for what we put you through,” you sighed.

He pulled your hands away from your face, and you looked away from him.

“Hey…”

You wouldn’t meet his eyes, and he let go of one of your hands to place it under your chin. He made you look at him, and his blue eyes searched your face as he smiled at you.

“This is my job. I’m not going out of my way to do anything here, okay? It’s okay.”

You reluctantly nodded before your eyes found the floor again.

“She needs help,” you said, finally admitting it outloud. “Professional help. The 12 steps kind.”

There was a brief silence before the dark-haired man spoke.

“I can help with that, get her into some meetings,” he offered.

“Would you? I...I didn’t want to ask because you do so much for us already, but…”

You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked at him. He rested his hands on his hips, tilting his head at you with a slight frown.

“Now, Y/N… How long have I known you and your sister? I’m always happy to help you two out in any way I can. You know that,” he told you, lips quirking up just a tad. 

“More than we deserve,” you murmured

He looked as if he was going to say something else, but you continued before he could. 

“Do you want something to drink before you go? I usually make her some coffee,” you offered.

His smile widened as he looked at you, eyes twinkling with something you couldn’t name.

“I’d love to.” 

His steps were light as he followed you into the kitchen, and you wondered if his stealth was just part of the job or if he was always that way. He didn’t say much as you moved throughout the kitchen, opting instead to watch you as you turned on the coffee pot.

“I think I have some leftovers from last night,” you told him.

“I’d love some.”

As you made to fix him some food to take with him, you found yourself humming a bit, a habit. So immersed in your tasks, you’d almost forgotten that he was there until he spoke again.

“You’re going to make some man a very happy husband one day.”

You threw him a smile over your shoulder.

“You sound like my dad,” you complained, thinking of the man who you hadn’t seen in years.

“A harmless compliment, I promise. You’re just so sweet...and you can cook better than any chef in the city,” he elaborated.

“Well, we’ll see what the future holds,” was all you said as you handed him a container of food.

You moved to get his coffee for him when he spoke again.

“Any man would be crazy not to snatch you up and beg you to have his children,” he said with a chuckle.

You joined him, shrugging as you handed him a to-go cup full of steaming coffee.

“That would be nice, but I can’t have kids,” you said.

Officer Barnes’ smile fell, eyes widening just a bit as he blinked. If it wasn’t for you, he would’ve dropped his coffee.

“What?” he murmured.

You shrugged again, throwing him a small smile.

“I can’t have kids.”

He looked like he didn’t know what to say, and he frowned, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you told him, placing your hand on his arm. “I’m not bothered by it anymore. I used to be, but… I figured that some people just aren’t meant to have children, and that’s ok.”

You turned away from him, moving to clean up your mess. You could still feel his eyes on you.

“It’s why I work at a nursery. I love it, and sometimes I think to myself that if I had children of my own, I wouldn’t have time for the dozens I see every day.”

You leaned your back against the counter, facing him as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I like to believe that everything happens for a reason.”

Officer Barnes smirked at you, a light chuckle escaping him, face pinched as if he was thinking hard about what you said, dark hair curling around his ear.

“That’s a nice way of looking at things.”

You shrugged, leading him to the door.

“My sister doesn’t exactly share my sentiments, so it’s nice to hear that you do,” you confessed, opening the door for him. “Thank you again, Officer Barnes.”

He playfully narrowed his eyes at you.

“How many times must I tell you?”

“Sorry, sorry,” you said with a groan. “Bucky. It’s a force of habit.”

“Well, I’m kindly asking you to kick it,” he lightly replied as he stepped outside.

“Drive safe.”

He paused, blinking at you before nodding.

“I will, and I’ll talk to someone about getting your sister into some meetings.”

You waved him off, a slight frown overtaking as you heard your sister retching from down the hall. With a sigh, you closed the door and turned to go tend to her like you always did.

The weeks that followed were better, the best you’d had in a long time. True to his word, Bucky got information on some meetings, and surprisingly, your sister agreed that she needed more help than you alone could provide. You drove her to, and picked her up, from every one. You’d always felt like the older sister despite the opposite being true, but it was glaring now more than ever.

Her behavior was improving, and you constantly prayed that it would last. You knew that recovery wasn’t always a smooth journey, plenty of people relapsing, but that didn’t seem to be the case for your sister. She had gotten another job, was keeping up with her meetings, and hadn’t even looked at a bottle of alcohol in weeks. She was just her normal cynical self...until she wasn’t.

You tapped your finger on the steering wheel, watching as the last person left the building. You waited a few moments, hoping that she would be the last person, but she never came out. Hurriedly stepping out of your car, you made your way to someone who hadn’t driven off yet. You could tell that you had startled them by knocking on their window, and you apologized the minute they cracked it. You asked them if your sister was still inside, and your heart sank at their answer.

“She never showed up.”

Your lips parted, brows furrowing as you registered their words. Unsure of how to respond, you simply took a step back, allowing them to drive off. It was late in the evening, and the parking lot was now empty, and you felt helpless as you looked around, as if waiting for your sister to appear.

She had never showed up?

You had dropped her off yourself. You had seen her walk into the building with your own eyes. You wondered if something had happened, something to send her over the edge again, and with a heavy heart, you got back into your car and headed home. You waited up most of the night, expecting a call from the police station or even a knock on your door, but your phone never rang and your door was undisturbed. You hadn’t meant to, but before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.

Your notifications were just as empty when you woke up the next morning, and your stomach churned as you sat there alone. You had the most awful feeling in your gut, and despite the fact that this should seem like a normal act for your sister, you couldn’t help but feeling like it wasn’t.

Later that day, you drove to the police station. For someone who swore not to rely on Bucky as much anymore, you were doing a poor job of it. He was happy to see you, and that made you feel even worse. Bucky was always happy to help you, and you constantly felt like you were taking advantage of it.

Your worry must have been written on your face though because his smile soon fell. He walked you outside of the station, and you quietly followed.

“It’s my sister,” you immediately said. “She’s missing.”

He eyed you for a bit, eyes narrowing just a tad as he thought. He folded his arms over his chest.

“Are you sure?”

You knew what he wasn’t saying. Your sister wasn’t exactly the most reliable, and absences weren’t unusual for her. He was right to be skeptical.

“They said she never showed up at her meeting. I dropped her off myself, and even if she wasn’t really going, she’d at least pretend like she was. She wouldn’t want me to worry and...and that’s all I seem to be doing,” you murmured.

Bucky placed his hands on your shoulders, massaging them as he attempted to console you.

“Alright. Have you called her?”

“She doesn’t have a cell phone,” you told him. “She can never keep a job long enough to.”

He nodded at that.

“I know that for adults, they need to be missing for at least 48 hours to be treated as a missing persons case. I know that, but…”

You trailed off, and Bucky understood, nodding.

“Hey?”

Your eyes met his, and he sent you a small smile.

“I’ll do what I can. I’m going to find her, alright?”

You gave a shaky nod. He told you to go home and let him handle everything. And thats what you did. The house felt too quiet, and uncomfortable, you started cleaning and cooking. In the midst of all of that, you called your father to tell him what was going on, but it was in vain. As usual, he didn’t answer his phone, and you found yourself wondering if your family was cursed. Your father was too indifferent, your sister too cynical, and you were too nice.

Despite the fact that you felt like you shouldn’t, you went to work. Was it to distract yourself? Oh definitely, but what else were you supposed to do? You didn’t worry until the 4th day had passed and you’d heard nothing from Bucky. He said that he would handle everything, and you trusted him, but you were tempted to go back to the station. However, a knock came on your door one night before you could.

You knew it was him, and you didn’t hesitate to open the door.

“Well?” you anxiously asked, letting him inside.

Bucky’s face was solemn, and you feared the worst, but he simply shook his head.

“Nothing,” he sadly told you.

Your frown deepened, and you frantically blinked away tears.

“Hey,” he quietly said. ‘Hey, none of that, doll.”

You shook your head, stepping back.

“I just feel like this is my fault. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe I pushed her too soon. Maybe-.”

“...and maybe it was all her and had nothing to do with you,” he said, lips pressed together as he looked at you.

You slowly nodded at what he said, not quite believing it.

“Maybe,” you murmured, turning away. “I feel like I should be out there, doing something.”

You heard Bucky approach you, and he tsk’d. 

“No, absolutely not. This city is dangerous, and I can’t look for her properly if I’m worrying about you, now can I?” he said, hands resting on your shoulders.

You turned your head to look at him, taking in his soft expression, his baby blues resting on you. You reluctantly shook your head.

“No, I can’t. So the best thing for you to do is sit tight while I try to find your sister.”

“It’s hard. The house...it’s so quiet now. It’s so obvious that she isn’t here, and I hate it,” you whispered. “I’ve never lived alone.”

He hummed, glancing around.

“I don’t have to leave right away. My shift is over, and I could stick around for as long as you want,” he offered, making your heart soar.

“You would do that? I don’t want you to feel obligated to keep me company.”

He grinned at you.

“Never. You just kick me out whenever you get tired of me,” he told you.

You didn’t kick him out. Bucky slept on your couch that night and the night after that and the night after that. His presence was welcoming, comforting, and you found yourself growing used to it. Having known Bucky for years, it was easy to get into a familiar groove with him. He started occupying your couch more and more, and feeling so bad about inconveniencing him all because you couldn’t handle being alone, you usually cooked him breakfast before he had to go to work. 

When he wasn’t at work looking for your sister, he was at home with you. Sometimes he cooked with you, or sometimes he fixed something that had been broken for months. He made missing your sister a little easier. You had faith that he would find her, that he’d bring her through that door, drunk and on the verge of sleep like before.

Still, sometimes, you couldn’t help the dark thoughts that assaulted your mind. What if she never came through that door? What if he never found her? Or worse… What if he did? What if he found her in a ditch somewhere, body maimed and ruined from being dead for so long? Despite how much you tried to remain positive, despite how much you wanted to believe otherwise, what if she was gone? 

This was what woke you up out of your sleep one night, on the verge of a panic attack. Your breathing was shallow, eyes unfocused as you fought to calm yourself. You were startled, a shriek leaving you as you felt something brush your arm. Light flooded your room, and your eyes immediately met Bucky’s as he stood beside your bed.

“Didn’t mean to scare you, doll,” he whispered, kneeling beside you. “ I could hear you all the way in the living room.”

“Sorry,” you weakly said, shaking your head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said, sitting beside you, facing you as he pulled you into his arms.

You hadn’t realized that you were shaking, and Bucky tightened his arms around you.

“What if she’s never coming back? What if she’s dead?” you cried.

“Don’t say that,” he murmured, rocking you. “Don’t think the worst.”

“But-.”

He shushed you, cutting you off, and you couldn’t fight the tears as they spilled over. His hand brushed over your back, and you closed your eyes as he held you, not taking note of what was happening until his lips met yours. Your eyes flew open as confusion filled you.

You struggled to pull away, but Bucky’s hold was firm. His mouth moved over yours, and your eyes were wide as he kissed you. He only pulled away when you struggled to breathe, and you pressed your hands to his chest immediately.

“Bucky what-?”

“It’s alright. Let me make you feel better. Help you forget,” he murmured, leaning in again, but you turned away.

“No!”

You got out of his grip, scooting back against the headboard, looking at him as if he was a stranger. Bucky was frowning at you like you were in the wrong, and your mind was muddled with so many conflicting thoughts.

“What are you doing?” you asked him.

He scoffed at you, narrowing his eyes at you like you had offended him.

“What am I doing? What are you doing? You smile and bat those eyelashes at me-.”

“I-.”

“You invite me into your home. You allow me to stay for as long as I want. You cook me breakfast, hell, we cook together like an old married couple. Are you telling me you intended to just play house forever?”

You were floored, and you flinched as you remembered your sister’s constant words, telling you that you were too nice, too trusting. You stared at Bucky, and you felt like an idiot. More tears sprung forth, and you dug your nails into the palm of your hands. 

“Bucky I…”

You looked down, wanting to be as far away from him as possible.

“I’m sorry if I made you think that...that there was more to this, but that was never my intention. I’m really sorry.”

You heard him heave a long sigh, shrinking in on yourself as he moved closer to you.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.”

You looked up at him, and he reached out to touch your chin. The blue of his eyes was a tad darker, colder than you’d ever seen them. 

“I keep forgetting how sweet you are. Too sweet. It’s my fault really, but let me explain how things will work from now on, just so there’s no confusion…”

Your brows drew together, dread swirling in your chest.

“You treat me nice, you be as sweet to me as you always are, and I’ll do everything in my power to find your sister. You don’t...and it’s classified as a simple runaway case.”

You sharply inhaled, mouth dropping open as you registered his words.

“What-?”

“Is that understood?”

He didn’t give you time to respond, pressing his lips to yours again. Your mind was screaming at you to do something, to fight him, get out and go get help. But what if he was telling the truth? Would he really give up on finding your sister if you didn’t sleep with him? Besides, even if you could get away, who could you go to for help? The police was currently pushing you onto your back, lips tasting every inch of you.

Still, you couldn’t help but to fight against him, and Bucky huffed. He paid your trembling hands no mind as he pushed your t-shirt up, fingers trailing over your skin as he did so. You felt like you were having an out of body experience. You almost felt like you were looking down on yourself as he undressed, and you barely fought him as he did the same to you. Your breathing was shallow, and you were certain that you were going to pass out.

“Bucky,” you breathed, pressing your hands against his shoulders.

He simply lowered himself, attaching his mouth to you, making you forget your train of thought for a second. He was like a man starved, tasting you until he was more than satisfied. You hadn’t had sex many times, the few times you did it was great, but this surpassed all of those times, something you never thought possible.

Your legs trembled around him, toes curling, and you reached down to press your hands against his head, trying and failing to push him away. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding them in place while he had his fill of you. Your chest arched upwards, and one of your hands pressed against the headboard, attempting to ground yourself, but Bucky seemed determined to make your head spin.

“Bucky, stop,” you begged, voice cracking. “Please…”

Your next words were lost, the only thing climbing out of your throat being a moan. You tried your best to swallow it down as you came, but Bucky’s tongue and mouth didn’t rest, lapping up your juices as you clenched around the pink muscle. You were still coming down when he climbed over you, and you opened your mouth to stop him, beg him, but he pushed into you without warning. 

A gasp escaped you, a groan of his own leaving Bucky as he immediately began to thrust into you. You placed your hands on his chest, lips trembling as he slid into you over and over again. He kissed you again, taking you by surprise, and you stared up at him in something akin to disbelief.

How did you get here? Bucky was your friend, and somehow, here he was on top of you, forcing pleasure onto you that you never asked for.

“You taste just as sweet as I thought you would,” he murmured, lips grazing the corner of your mouth.

“Bucky,” you quietly begged.

“I always knew you’d be sweet in bed, making the cutest little noises, all soft skin and soft smiles.”

His words confused you, and it occurred to you that this behavior did not come out of nowhere.

“You don’t know how many times I wanted to take you in the back of my cruiser, right there in the station, but you deserved better. You deserved to be kissed like a princess in between your sheets-.”

“Stop,” you begged. 

You wanted him to stop talking. You didn’t want to face how unbelievably stupid and trusting you had been. It hurt too much. He pressed his hips against yours again, his thick cock dragging along your slick walls.

“Your sister wasn’t good for you, doll.”

Your eyes widened as they met his, his brows furrowed in concentration, a bead of sweat on his forehead as his hair hung over his face.

“She was nothing but trouble, always bringing nothing but her problems into your life. You were far too nice to do anything about it...so I did,” he told you, not a hint of humor in his blue eyes.

A horrified gasp escaped you, and you continued your struggle. You felt like you’d been punched in the chest, and your vision was completely blurry from your tears now. You were full on sobbing, but Bucky paid it no mind as he intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hands down above your head. Every thrust was a brush against that little bundle of nerves, and you felt yourself clenching around him.

“Oh, that’s it,” he purred. “Come around my cock.”

“No, no, no,” you cried, bucking against him, but only making it worse for you.

Your second climax crashed over you like a wave, and like you were drowning, you struggled to breathe. Bucky’s lips felt like they were everywhere, and soon after, you felt him twitch inside of you, coating your walls as he came too. You couldn’t breathe, and you felt the walls of your room closing in.

“I’m the only one who knows where your sister is,” he murmured after catching his breath. “I’m the only one who knows if she’s even okay.”

Your chest was heaving, and you kept thinking to yourself that not enough air was getting in. Bucky wiped the sweat from your hairline, running his eyes over your spent frame as he caged you in even further.

“So if you want to see her again, you know what you need to do.”

The world finally caved in on you.

Even though you couldn’t have kids, it seemed like Bucky was determined to try. Or maybe he just couldn’t get enough of you. Despite the fact that he had a place of his own, he spent all of his free time at your house. His hands never strayed from you, and it seemed like he was kissing you any chance he got. At night, and sometimes in the morning, he enjoyed the feel of you wrapped around him, milking him as he groaned in your ear.

And what could you do but let him? Now knowing the truth, you wondered if you ever knew Bucky at all. How was it possible to hide one’s true self for years? Constantly? You remembered your sister’s last words about him, calling him a creep, and you wondered if he was that good or if you were simply that trusting? 

He acted as if you were a normal couple. He cooked with you, ate with you, watched tv with you, and even bathed with you. Bucky brought you flowers and gifts and pretty dresses he thought you’d look good in. Every time, you thanked him with a smile and could do nothing but accept it as he undressed you. Every time you asked about your sister, every time you built up the courage to, he always dodged the question, and you wondered how long this would go on.

As it turns out, not long at all.

He came to the house one day, angry and frantic and his eyes were searching for you. The minute he spotted you, he pounced. He was rougher than he had ever been, pinning you to the wall as he thrust into you, hand fisting your hair while the other pressed his fingers into your thigh. You felt like he was going to break you, but Bucky paid no mind to your tears. 

You had made your way to the floor when he finally came inside of you, sweaty and angry and gripping you like he’d lose you. You were trembling in his arms when he lifted his head, and you stared at him like he was going to hurt you some more. You watched as he swallowed, running his eyes over you as he reached up to brush his thumb along your lip.

“Sam and I gotta leave,” he breathed.

You blinked at him, frowning.

“It’s all so sudden, but they found some things, and we have to leave.”

You didn’t know what to say, and you stared at him in confusion.

“...but when it’s safe, I’m coming back for you,” he told you, making your heart sink.

“B-Bucky...my-.”

“You want to see her again, don’t you?”

You nodded, and he nodded with you. 

“Okay. Then you’ll wait for me. You don’t tell anybody what you know, and you wait for me. Tell me.”

Scared to say anything else, and scared that you’d never see your sister again, you told him what he wanted to hear.

“I’ll wait for you,” you whispered through trembling lips..

He kissed you, and that was the last time he kissed you for a long time. You didn’t know how many years had passed. 4? 5? 6? You couldn’t keep track and they all blended together. With Bucky gone, you felt more alone than you ever had before. Had your body grown used to his? Grown to crave his even? The man was your rapist. Was that normal?

The house was too painful for you to remain in, so you moved a couple of blocks over. Every day that passed, you wondered how your sister was doing. You wondered where she was. Some days you missed her more than others, and some days you were angry. Why couldn’t she have told you outright what Bucky was like. Surely, she must have known, known better than you.

Some days you were angry at Bucky, and on more than one occasion, you had even been tempted to tell someone what you knew. You hated him for what he did to you, what he’d done to your sister, putting you both through torment. Most days though, you were just angry with yourself. You felt like you deserved some blame in all of this, for being so naive, so trusting, for having faith in everyone until they proved otherwise. 

Work only distracted you for a short time, and the lonely nights came quicker than you liked. Provided that you were able to find sleep, it was normally after a crying fit. It all felt like a strange sort of limbo, and you wondered how long you were meant to endure it. You started to think that Bucky would never come back, you’d never see your sister again, and once again, you’d be an idiot for believing him. But what other choice did you have?

It was one early morning, the sun still yet to rise, when there was a knock on your door. You were riddled with sleep and practically stumbling to the door, but when you opened it, all of your fatigue was gone. Your wide eyes met familiar blue ones, and you felt like the air was sucked out of you.

His hair was shorter, but he otherwise looked the same. He was dressed darkly, as bulky as ever, and you took a step back when he took a step forward. An unfamiliar car was behind him, and you squinted, recognizing Officer Wilson in the passenger seat. Your eyes fell to Bucky again, and the corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk.

“Hi, doll.”

~

tags:  @darkficreposter​​​​​ @xoxabs88xox​​​​​ @harryspet​​​​​ @readermia​​​​​ @opheliadawnwalker3​​​​ @nickyl316h​​​​​ @captainchrisstan​​​​​ @sebabestianstan101​​​​​ @villanellevi​​​​​ @lokislastlove​​​​​ @notyourtypicalrose​​​​​ @coconutqueen21​​​​​ @hurricanerin​​​​ ​​​ @hyoyeoniie​​​​ @kellyn1604​​​​ @sherrybaby14​​​​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​​​ @mandiiblanche​​​ @gotnofucks​​​ @oneoftheprettynerds​​​ @doozywoozy​​​ @sapphirescrolls​​​ @threeminutesoflife​​​ @searchforanotherway​​​ @mcudarklibrary​​ @ksjksjkv​

[kindahoping4forever]

...Ready For It? // Ashton Irwin

Thank you to everyone who said they wanted to read this story, whether it was in the poll I posted 12 hours ago or when I first posted In My Dreams... You Should See The Things We Do back in June (!) - I actually started working on this not that long after I posted and while the skeleton concept stayed the same, everything else was kind of fluid until last month when I finally felt satisfied with it. As always, thank you to @cal-puddies​ for listening to me whine and obsess over every detail and for (virtually) slapping me upside the head every time I said I was going to just scrap it (and there were many times, trust.)

Note this is a sequel but I think there’s enough context within this piece that you’d be able to enjoy as a standalone if you haven’t read or forgot what happened during In My Dreams...

Warnings: Sexual tension, frustration and resolution. I couldn’t figure out how to do specific warnings without also spoiling the narrative (yes, really) so this is kind of a blanket fluffy smut warning. The sex is explicit in detail but not extreme in nature. ‘Tis a soft, dirty story you’re about to read. Also yes, Ash wears the mountain pants again and no, I will not apologize. 

Word Count: 10,555

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

“I can’t say this is how I imagined getting you out of your clothes for the first time but after months of isolation, I’ll take what I can get,” you quip.

Ashton giggles as he peels off his button down shirt, leaving him in a classic white tank. “I can’t say anything about tonight has gone the way I imagined it would,” he confesses. “I’m sorry things have been kind of a bust.”

You try not to blatantly ogle his muscular build as you playfully jab, “You mean, you didn’t spend all that time longing for us to spend hours waiting outside a restaurant for a socially distant table only to be turned away because now it’s closing time and ending up having to eat drive thru burgers in the backseat of your car?”

“With ketchup dripping all over one of my best shirts? And you saving the day with a suspiciously convenient stain remover pen?” He riffs, passing his top to you.

“Exactly how I pictured it,” you shrug, dabbing at his shirt with the aforementioned magic pen.  “Shame, our fantasies tend to match up a lot better than this.”

You’d never thought much of long distance relationships and you especially never thought you’d find yourself in one with only a few miles separating you but 2020 had been full of surprises; getting to know Ash had turned out to be the silver lining in an otherwise terrible year. 

You’ve each reflected on it plenty and agreed it seems as if your connection was destined to see you both through this strange period. You met at the last party you were invited to before quarantine started, you ran into each other again at the last concert either of you got to attend. Your first date was also your final restaurant meal, the last time you went to a movie was with a group of mutual friends and you sat next to him, giggling like a teenager, intentionally brushing his fingers in the popcorn tub.

When the stay at home order was issued, it didn’t take long for you to check in with each other and while it wasn’t an easy time, you were grateful to build a bond with literally no outside influence. And now after countless texted inside jokes, heart to heart phone calls (and more than a few naughty ones), restrictions had been relaxed and you were finally able to reunite. Only the real world is proving to be a bit more complicated than either of you remember.

“You know, I’m not usually a ‘hop in the backseat on a first date’ kind of gal, but this is pretty fun,” you joke.

Ashton grins. “If it makes you feel any better, I think technically this is maybe our third or fourth date?”

“Anything pre-quarantine doesn’t count,” you shake your head insistently. “That was a lifetime ago, another world. I cook now, I go for walks, I do crosswords now. Whoever you went out with in The Before Times - I don’t know her.”

His loud laugh fills the car and the warmth of it overwhelms you; after months of hearing it through a speaker, you can’t believe you’re finally getting to witness it in person. 

"So if we’re starting over at square one, then what’s the explanation for that kiss you laid on me when I picked you up?” He teases.

“I’m a complex woman, I feel like you should know that by now,” you reply with a coy shrug, handing him his now stain free shirt.

The two of you finish your meals, chatting happily and making non-stop jokes about what a fail your date was. You’re relieved at how natural things are flowing; you knew there was undeniable chemistry but part of you was still nervous about getting used to being around each other - another person, even - again. But beyond the standard date jitters, things were comfortable and familiar.

Your anxiety briefly returns as he pulls the car into your driveway. Of course you want to invite him in, you’ve been waiting so long to invite him in but things just feel… off. You turn, ready to offer an apologetic goodnight but before you get a chance, he’s turning to look at you sheepishly.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but would you mind if we maybe called it a night?” He rushes out, nervously running a hand through his hair. You watch him, fascinated. You’re still not used to how long his hair got in quarantine and you’re definitely not used to seeing him bashful. “I know we joked about it and I appreciate you being cool about everything but I really did want to give you the night out you deserve… and that just didn’t happen. I’d like to try again.”

Your heart swells at his sincerity; he’d always been so genuine and open over the phone, but it’s almost overwhelming experiencing it while he’s looking into your eyes. “Have I never told you that ketchup stains are one of my biggest turn ons?” You tease, hoping to ease some of his obvious embarrassment. “Hey, we’ve waited this long, what’s a little bit longer?”

A little bit longer ends up being the following weekend. It turns out, coming up with romantic and yet responsibly distanced date ideas is harder than either of you thought. With you both having the luxury of working from home and generally not having to venture out unless absolutely necessary, you both decide you’re most comfortable with eliminating the public out of the equation as much as you can.

You settle on a short hike followed by a picnic and when you open your front door you realize just how unprepared you are for the concept of Morning Ash. You smile to yourself as you realize that he must have overslept as his face is still adorably puffy from sleeping, hair still wet from the shower. Yesterday’s five o’clock shadow is still present - he must have been running so late he had to forego his morning shave. The thought of waking up next to him looking like this pops into your mind, that soon you could be the reason he’s running late in the morning and your stomach actually drops.

You push your thoughts aside as you move to greet him with a hug; his cologne is prominent and obviously freshly sprayed and you think to yourself that you're excited to smell like him for the rest of the day.

“Got a surprise for you in the car,” he murmurs.

You’re in the middle of wondering how he makes even a simple white t-shirt look devastating when he opens the passenger door for you. Before you even climb in, you’re instantly greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and breakfast burritos and he chuckles at the way your face lights up. 

“Flowers seemed too formal for a morning date, I figured caffeine and grease was just as nice.” 

“I’ve never felt more seen by a partner,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a sweet, slow kiss. 

You start to pull away to get in the car but Ashton snakes his arms around you and draws you back in for a few more smooches. “Figure we should get as many of these in as we can now, those burritos are no joke,” he laughs.

It’s a bit of a drive to get to a hiking trail that seemed unlikely to be crowded but you don’t mind. After months of waiting to be in this man’s presence, the more time you can spend with him the better. The trip passes quickly, with the two of you basking in each other’s company, play-arguing over playlists and agreeing that “when this is all over” you should plan a road trip together.

“Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves,” he observes, pulling the car into the empty lot. He’s first out of the car and you hear a distinct “UGH” from him as soon as he steps out. He sees your puzzled look through the windshield as he walks around to your side to open your door. “I didn’t expect it to be so fuckin’ hot,” he explains.

You get out and instantly scrunch up your face as a gust of hot wind breezes over you. “Well, we did travel more inland, I guess it makes sense it’d be a little warmer,” you reason. 

You commiserate about the weather and then Ash starts gathering your things from the trunk of the car, taking non-essentials out of your backpacks since the heat is going to make your hike a lot less leisurely than planned. 

Despite the weather, the first portion of your hike is nice: you stroll and talk, enjoying the scenery and your time together. Ashton brought his camera with him and you catch him sneaking a few photos of you along the trail so you teasingly start snapping an excessive amount of pics of him using your phone.

As you get closer to the area you planned on stopping at for lunch, the heat starts getting more and more intense. The morning clouds have now dissipated and the sun is bright and unrelenting, causing the conversation to drag as you both start breathing a little more labored, focusing on getting to your stopping point as quickly as possible. It takes a lot longer than expected and by the time you reach your picnic spot, you’re both exhausted and covered in sweat.

You spread a blanket on the ground and immediately throw yourself on it, grateful for a chance to rest. You look up and see Ash peeling off his t-shirt and draping it over a rock in hopes it will dry before you have to head back.

Normally you’d be silently reprimanding yourself for staring at his bare flesh on display but truthfully all you’re thinking about is how much skin he’s exposing to the sun. “Think we left the sunscreen in the car,” you declare, sitting up to dig through your stuff. “As much as I’m enjoying the show, you’re gonna get fried if you don’t throw that back on.”

He sprawls out on the blanket next to you. “We’re shaded, it’ll be fine,” he insists, pulling his sweat-soaked hair back with a rubber band from his wrist.

The picnic is pleasant but far from the romantic adventure you’d envisioned. You’d hoped the two of you would be laughing under a tree, eating a delicious meal as an equally delicious breeze grazes your skin. The reality is the two of you sitting in silence because you’re so uncomfortable under the unforgiving sunshine, eating food that you would’ve preserved better had you known about the weather, as a hot wind scorches your skin. The part of you that had fantasized about sneaking in a heated makeout can’t get enough of the irony that this date is definitely heated, just not in the way it should’ve been.

With the peak temperature of the day still to come, you agree to call it and head for the car already; Ash puts his shirt back on and you notice him wincing as he moves his obviously sunburned skin, but you choose to say nothing.

The trek back is quiet, both of you physically drained and a bit mentally defeated at yet another date gone awry. At one point, you stop in a shaded area to catch your breath and you give him a quick kiss. “Had fun,” you say quietly. He offers you a soft smile in return.

The drive home is equally lowkey, the discontent and exhaustion of the day filling where there should be sexual tension. He knows the mood has deflated considerably so he doesn’t even ask you to come back to his, he just drives you home. 

The car pulls into your driveway and you turn to him. “Think we’re cursed or something?” Your voice is joking but he can detect the undertone of worry.

Ash gives you a bright smile that’s instantly a comfort. “Nah… maybe cursed with too much ambition and insufficient planning skills but I have no doubt this is exactly where I’m meant to be.” He reaches for your hand, interlacing your fingers and kissing your knuckles.

He walks you to your door and gives you a long kiss that almost has you reconsidering inviting him in. “We got this,” he whispers. 

You ruffle his hair. “I’ve also got aloe you can borrow for these sunburns, how are you even able to move?” You laugh, unlocking your door.

A few days pass before either of you broach the subject of another date; you’re finally the one to bring it up and you both agree on a simple dinner at home for the next night.

“Third time’s a charm, right?” You joke as he opens the door.

He draws you in for a slow kiss as you step inside. You murmur when you feel his facial hair brush against you; his beard is fuller than when you last saw him and you suspect he may have quit shaving simply based on the reaction you’d had to the look on your date. “Well, we’re already off to a good start, I’d say,” he comments against your lips.

You’ve only ever seen Ashton’s house in the background of your video chats and when he notices you looking around with fascination, he excitedly offers to give you a tour. You swear you can actually hear your heart going pitter patter as he proudly escorts you around, sharing funny memories about his friends involving each room or telling elaborate stories about different trinkets he owns. You can tell he’s missed entertaining people in his home and you’re so happy that you’re able to fill that void for him tonight.

You follow him to the kitchen. “Smells amazing, must be quite the dish,” you tease, knowing full well you sent him the “secret” recipe for your grandma’s spaghetti sauce the night before. He pokes at you and you giggle, “Anything I can do to help?”

“The groceries should be delivered any minute,” he answers, checking his phone. “There’s gloves and sanitizer wipes under the sink if you don’t mind taking care of that when it arrives.”

A few minutes later, you peck his cheek as you pass by to go outside and tend to your assignment. Ash nearly spirals when it’s discovered that the shopper made some substitutions without asking but you reassure him that dinner’s not ruined even if the sauce uses regular sugar instead of brown and will be poured over fettuccine noodles instead of spaghetti. 

“Not to jinx anything but I think this is our best first date yet,” you joke after dinner, getting out two coffee mugs from the cabinet he’d directed you to.

“All we had to do was eliminate the variables: other people, the weather, the outside world in general,” he ticks off the list on his fingers with a smile.

You hit the brew button on the coffeemaker and slide closer to where he stands loading the dishwasher. “Well. Just proves that all we really need is each other,” you muse, with a sweet smile. He grins at you, drying his hands so that he can cradle your face and kiss you. His hands are soft from the soap he just used and you sigh approvingly into his mouth as his thumb draws circles on your cheek.

That flirty but sweet tone continues as you move to the living room; you sit on the couch, drinking your coffee, chatting comfortably. You both keep finding reasons to scoot closer together, a thick layer of tension between you. You’d each talked a big game when sharing fantasies about what your first time might be like but now that it might be here, you’re surprised by the hazy combination of excitement and nerves you feel.

It’s hard to say who makes the first move: there’s a lull in the conversation and then suddenly, a kiss. Ashton’s hands quickly make their way into your hair and before long, things get heated and you find yourself climbing into his lap to straddle him. This was about as far as things had gotten between you pre-quarantine and it’s as glorious as you remember.

You roll your hips above him and he groans into the mark he was leaving on your neck; your shirt rides up with your movements and his fingers softly dance over the exposed skin. As you nibble along his jaw, his hands find their way up the back of your shirt and you shiver at his warmth. You put your hands on his wrists, guiding them up, letting him know it’s OK to take your shirt off; he does and you silently thank your past self for wearing one of your pretty bras tonight. 

“So beautiful, baby,” he breathes and then his mouth is back on yours, hands busy exploring the new skin on display for him. You shift your hips again and this time find yourself the one to groan, feeling him hard beneath you for the first time; you’ve spent a lot of time wondering what this would feel like and it’s more intoxicating than you ever could’ve imagined.

Ash lifts you off his lap and lays you back on the couch, peeling his own shirt off before moving to be on top of you. He kisses you hungrily and then makes his way down your body, the scratch of his beard deliciously teasing you, lips pecking over every inch of your neck before they attach to the tops of your breasts.

You pull him back up to your mouth and slide your hands down to unbuckle his belt. You brush over his length through his jeans and nearly gasp at the contact; you know he’s not even fully hard and he feels huge. This revelation has you getting impatient and you attempt to push his pants down. "Jesus dude, are these painted on or what?" You joke, struggling.

 "Hey, I could ask you the same thing," he retorts, running his hands along your ass to prove his point. With a goofy smile, he asks, "Should we pause and de-pants ourselves?" 

You laugh as you untangle yourself from his body and pull your pants off while he does the same. He eyes your matching lace lingerie and teases, "That’s some mighty fancy underwear you've got on there, Miss ‘Let’s Take The Pressure Off And Not Expect Anything To Happen Tomorrow Night’.”

You feel your cheeks warming at both his gawking attention and his implication you were hoping things would end up this way. You playfully fire back, "Maybe I dress like this all the time, you don't know me… or maybe I wanted to feel sexy for myself tonight." You try to pull him into a kiss but he pulls back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Or maybe I'm really behind on laundry and I only have the nice stuff left," you say with a sheepish giggle. 

“That I believe,” he laughs delightedly. "Whatever the reason, you look fucking incredible.”

You intend to murmur a thanks but the way his kisses are currently being  peppered in between your breasts causes it to come out as a moan instead. His fingers toy with the closure of your bra and he looks at you to softly ask, “May I?”

You nod enthusiastically and close your eyes as his mouth acquaints itself with your bare breasts, your hands tangling in his hair. Your mouths find each other again, tongues familiarizing themselves with every detail of each other. You reach between your bodies and grip the tent in his underwear; you trace the shape of him through the material and he breaks your kiss to let out a strained moan. “God, I can’t wait to make you cum,” you murmur, a bit surprised by your own boldness.

You feel Ash breathe deeply, affected by your words. “Well, I’m afraid I have a strict ‘ladies first’ policy in this house, so I clearly need to get started,” he jokes, attempting to steady himself. “Bedroom?”

He helps you off the couch and you start to reach for your discarded clothes but he pulls you along, shaking his head. “You won’t be needing those for a while,” he grins.

You follow him to his room, impressing yourself with how steady on your feet you are, how calm you feel; your heart is racing but it’s from anticipation instead of uncertainty, which is unusual for you when you’re about to sleep with someone new. You tend to make these decisions impulsively, with a bit of a “fuck now, ask questions later” attitude. The fact that you’ve waited for this long to be with him and that you feel totally at ease, wandering through his upstairs hallway in just your panties, is the latest in a series of signs telling you that your feelings for Ashton are different.

You settle on the bed while he pauses in the doorway, fiddling with the dimmer on the light switch, determined to get it just right. He finally comes over and you don’t waste any time, climbing over to the edge of the bed to pull off his boxers. His cock springs free and you bite your lip, hoping you’re not actually drooling like you fear you might be.

“You good?” He goads you with a smug smile. During a couple of your video romps, you’d gotten yourself off with toys and he teased you about your selections, calling you a size queen. As you find yourself fascinated surveying the notable length and girth in front of you, you have to admit, he’s not wrong.

You silence his remarks by leaning forward and tentatively licking his tip, closing your eyes in satisfaction when you taste a drop of precum. You roll your tongue around the head, tracing every curve and ridge with your tongue. When you get comfortable enough to wrap your lips around him and slowly start taking him into your mouth, he quietly breathes your name, brushing your hair out of your face, and you feel like you could cum right then and there.

He senses your eagerness and lets you work for a bit longer before he gently pulls you off with a heavy sigh. "Ladies first, remember?" He rasps, flashing you a dazzling smile that would've made you weak even if he wasn't naked in front of you.

He gestures for you to lay back as he kneels at the edge of the bed, dragging his beard across your thighs before hooking his thumbs in your panties to slowly pull them off. You close your eyes, a blissful, close-mouthed smile decorating your face. Ash groans, gazing up at you. “Do you have any idea how many times I laid in this bed picturing what it’d be like to have you here like this?” He asks, raising himself up to kiss you passionately. “Better than I ever could’ve imagined.” 

His lips travel back down your body and you’re so caught up in how dreamy it is to finally feel him like this, you don’t notice he’s already made it back down your body and you cry out when his tongue licks a bold stripe up your center. You’re almost certain you feel him smile against you, proud of the reaction he’s achieved. 

You run your hands through his long hair, trying your best not to tug at it too much, although you suspect he might enjoy that. He alternates between soft, fluttering licks at you and long, intentional strokes, using every centimeter of his wide tongue. It’s overwhelming but you breathe deeply, trying to maintain control; it’s when he wraps his lips around your clit and starts sucking that you start writhing, your legs involuntarily closing in around his head and you tap at him to get his attention.

He immediately pulls back. “Too much?” He reassuringly squeezes your ankle, looking at you encouragingly. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart, wanna do what I can to make you feel good.”

You sit up on your arms, lightheaded from both pleasure and his care. “Ash, oh my god, it feels amazing,” you insist, reaching out to brush his hair out of his eyes. “I just… I really wanna cum with you in me... and I can’t always go for two… and it was feeling so good right now…”

Ashton leans up, pausing your nervous rambling with a sweet kiss. “Hey, it’s all good, I’m glad you told me,” he soothes. “Do you want to go ahead or do you need more time? We can do something else to get you ready. Your call.” 

You grin and guide his hand to run along your wet folds. “I think this qualifies as ready, don’t you?” 

“Alright, cheeky girl,” he teases, casually lifting his fingers from your wetness to his mouth, tasting you on them. “Still, there’s lube in the left nightstand if you want to get it out just in case.”

“Gentlemanly offer and a brag at the same time, I’m into it,” you laugh.

He giggles loudly, moving off the bed. “Gotta grab the condoms,” he explains, leaving the room.

You retrieve the bottle of lube like he suggested and tidy the bed up a little bit, adjusting the pillows to make yourself comfortable. He’s gone for what feels like a long time but you chalk it up to your excitement for what’s about to happen. You sit back, surveying the room, making mental notes about different things you want to ask him about later. Finally, you hear him call your name from down the hall and you curiously holler back at him.

He pops his head in the room, looking mildly panicked. “Please tell me you saw a box of condoms in the groceries you put away,” he inquires breathlessly.

Your heart sinks. “Um… no? I didn’t,” you take a steadying breath, bracing yourself for what seems like very bad news. “It was mostly food. And the napkins we used. Toothpaste I put in the bathroom. No condoms.”

Ash inhales sharply, nodding rapidly, which unsettles you; he comes to sit on the edge of the bed and drags his hands over his face and through his hair. “Well. This is just never gonna fucking happen, I guess,” he declares dramatically. You feel weirdly exposed now that the mood has shifted and you reach for a blanket to cover yourself with before you crawl over to him.

You rest your head on his shoulder, letting him know you’re there. He smiles sadly and strokes over your hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. I hadn’t dated in a while and then with lockdown… I didn’t know until yesterday what I had was expired so I tossed them and ordered some today… and they’re just… not here,” he says regretfully.

You chew your lip, evaluating how you should respond; you’re disappointed, obviously - very disappointed - but Ashton is clearly upset with himself and you don’t want to make him feel any worse. “I suppose it’d be irresponsible of me to suggest we ignore this road block by employing the old ‘spray and pray’ method?” You joke… at least you think you’re joking.

He snorts, turning to look at you with a smile on his face, which makes you feel better about things. “I’m sure you’re not serious but no, after all this time, after we finally had the perfect date, no, I’m not going to pull out and ‘spray and pray,’ he chuckles.

You smile back at him. “Well,” you start flirtatiously, “I meant it when I said I couldn’t wait to make you cum.” Your fingers dance along his bare thigh, travelling close to his softened cock. “We can still fool around, if you want.”

He looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand on his leg. “I really don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Ash, as sweet as you are, this is an entirely selfish act on my part, I really just want you to moan for me,” you smirk, moving to sit back against the pillows. “Plus this is possibly the most turned on I’ve ever been and if I don’t get off soon, I might actually die.”

Grinning, he crawls up the bed and settles in next to you. “Well. Can’t have that, now can we?” He teases in a low voice, kissing you with an intoxicating restraint. “Got anything particular in mind?” He feels you sigh against him as he gets his mouth on your neck and his hand on your breast.

It takes you a second to find your voice again, still getting used to the novelty of being able to feel his touch. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind getting my mouth back on you,” you confess with heavy breath. “Or we could just, you know, play with each other.” You slide your hand down to find his cock, lightly rubbing your fingertips up and down his shaft, feeling it start to rise for you again.

Ash groans and throws his arm around your shoulders, turning so that you’re cradled into his side. Your hand lazily drags over his length while he holds you, kissing you with a renewed intensity. The arm around you softly massages your shoulder while his free arm is exploring your body: palming your breasts, twirling your nipples, fingers caressing the rise and fall of your tummy. 

He breaks the kiss as his hand makes its way between your legs, tentatively brushing along your inner thigh, watching you closely as his fingers move to trace your lips and then your folds. He swirls through your wetness and then gently starts rubbing your clit; your hand instantly stills on him and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“This feel alright?” He asks, studying your face. 

You take your free hand and place it on his, encouraging him to apply more pressure. “So good, Ash,” you murmur, raising your mouth to his again, eager to have his affection completely enveloping you.

You resume your motion on his cock, stroking him firmly, listening for the hitches in his breath or gentle grunts to tell you that your instincts of how to please him are correct. You try to recall what you can from the months you spent watching him touch himself online; you vividly remember him twisting over the tip while he used his other hand to cradle his balls. You give it a try and he lets out a loud moan, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

The two of you familiarize yourselves with each other’s bodies, savoring the noises you’re pulling from each other because although it’s not the first time you’ve ever heard them, it’s the first time they’re being caused by you. 

Ashton’s fingers tease along your entrance and you can’t breathe out a “Please” fast enough; he slides two fingers inside and starts thrusting. He starts with a moderate pace but you’re so worked up, you’re bucking against his hand almost immediately, overwhelmed at the thought of some part of him finally inside you.

You try your best to keep jerking him off but it’d be an understatement to say you’ve become distracted as his fingers move in you; you whisper an apology as you let go of him, starting to lose control, digging your nails into his bicep, whining at how you can feel it flex from the way he’s working your body. 

Ash can’t get enough of how receptive you are to him so when you mutter out another “Sorry” upon realizing how red the skin around his snake tattoo is from you holding on to him, he squeezes your shoulder in reassurance. “Listen, you can scratch that thing clean off if it means I’m making you feel that good,” he teases, nipping at your neck. “Are you as close as it sounds like you are?”

You’re sure your cheeks must already be flushed but you still feel them warm up at the implication that he recognizes your noises from quarantine. You nod, chest heaving, trying to catch your breath.

"Do you need something different to help you finish or keep this up?" He asks, understanding in his eyes.

You groan and jump as his fingers hit your spot again. "Um, actually I think I’d like if you went back to just my clit."

He nods, following your instructions. He rubs careful circles, checking your face to see if he’s getting the pressure right. You start to tuck your face into Ashton’s chest to minimize your reactions but he tenderly pulls you back to lay with him, stroking his hand through your hair to soothe you as he feels you start to shake in his arms. “God, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful like this,” he praises, sucking below your ear. “Let me hear you, baby, you always sound so good when you cum for me.”

His raspy affirmations work in perfect tandem with the vigorous movement of his fingers and you begin to unravel. You breathily cry out his name as your back rises off the bed and your hands fly out on either side of you, one gripping the sheets, the other grabbing for his arm again.

Your hips buck, riding the waves of pleasure surging through your body. Ash watches you carefully, continuing to work you until he detects a slight wince of overstimulation and he removes his hand, deciding to kiss you through the rest of your orgasm. 

Your body finally relaxes and while you’re definitely exhausted, you’re also eager to satisfy him in return. While he presses kisses over your face, whispering quiet praises as you settle, your hands move to explore his body again, one caressing at his chest and abs, the other taking hold of his cock, making good use of the precum he released while playing with you, starting to build momentum again.

He groans, closing his eyes, losing himself in your touch. You can't resist shifting slightly to travel down his body, pecking your way down his stomach, nibbling at his hips before moving your lips back to his cock. You suckle at the head and the throaty "Baby" you receive in return is already worth your trouble.

Ashton traces designs on your back while you suck him off; he constantly murmurs encouragement, which you appreciate because your heart is racing, this is the first time tonight you've felt truly nervous. You've always enjoyed giving head but you've fantasized about blowing Ash for so long you were slightly afraid it might not live up to expectations - for the both of you, since you'd shared many fantasies with him.

You try to pace yourself, not wanting to get greedy and take too much at once, using your hand to make up for what your mouth can't handle yet; every time you pull off to catch your breath and check in with him, he sweetly wipes at your mouth with his thumb and it's much cuter than it should be, considering the situation.

You bob along his shaft a few more times, fluttering your tongue along the underside, finding a particular vein you remember him paying special attention to. Your memory serves you correct and he emits a surprised whimper. He squeezes your shoulder a few times and you pull off curiously.

"Want your mouth on mine when I cum," he rasps.

You quickly reclaim your place laying in his arms, kissing him as requested. It’s just a few tugs until his breathing starts to stutter against your lips. "Fuck, yes, cum for me, Ash," you murmur, letting out a little moan yourself when you feel his cock throb in your hold.

Ash huffs out short belabored breaths as he moves his hand down to join yours, showing you how to work through his orgasm, adjusting slightly so that his cum shoots on to his own stomach instead of yours.

You lightly kiss him through it until he pulls your hand off of him, lacing his fingers in yours, squeezing briefly. You lay back in his arms, basking in the intimacy of the moment.

He pecks your forehead before he regrettably pulls away from you to gesture towards the tissue box on the bedside table. “Would you mind?”

You start to reach for it and then pause, deciding you’re comfortable enough to make a request. “Actually… could I…?” You trail off, raising your eyebrows as you steal a glance at his torso.  

Ashton chuckles out a surprised “OK” and then you’re quickly shuffling down his body to get your mouth on his cum covered skin. He breathes in sharply when he feels your warm breath on him and his stomach flutters under your tongue as you clean him up, blissfully humming as you discover his taste.

Your hair falls in your face and he brushes it out of the way, not wanting to miss a second of what you’re doing. When you’re finished, you sit up and daintily wipe your mouth with your fingertips. You catch a glimpse of Ash looking downright dazed, chest still heaving from his orgasm, eyes glazed over from watching you eagerly volunteer to lick up his release.

With the heat of the moment having passed, you start feeling slightly self-conscious about your boldness. “Was that over the top? I feel like that was too much for a first time, oh my god,” you laugh, hands covering your face nervously. “I just… on our calls, every time I would watch you cum, I would just… think about it…” You shake your head, surprised at your own behavior.

He laughs and reaches for you, kissing the top of your head as you lay against him. "Just the right amount of 'too much', trust me." His voice gets deeper as he leans in to whisper, “I’d thought about it too, for the record. As fuckin’ hot as I’d thought it’d be.”

You lay quietly wrapped up in him for a bit longer and when you move to get out of bed, he grabs your hand, squeezing it gently. “D’ya wanna stay tonight?” He asks, hazel eyes swimming with sweetness and sincerity. “I didn’t want to jinx it and get stuff for breakfast but I was thinking we could order in.”

You smile brightly, leaning in to peck his lips. “You can finally make me your famous coffee you’re always bragging about,” you tease.

“It’s disgusting, you’ll love it,” he grins, playfully pinching your ass as you get out of bed.

The next morning you wake up to the feeling of Ash climbing back into bed beside you. You open one eye and look him up and down suspiciously. “Where have you been?” You murmur.

He settles on his side, pulling you closer to him so your faces are inches from each other, at the edge of your respective pillows. “Ordered breakfast already, had to go unlock the front gate,” he explains, voice still thick with sleep. He strokes your hair and smiles at how you close your eyes, melting into his touch. “Sleep OK, baby?”

You feel your lips curl into a dreamy smile; you already knew you loved hearing him call you that but hearing it in his deep morning voice is fucking transcendent. “To be honest, it’s been so long since I slept next to someone, I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go at first,” you laugh, scooting closer. “You’re warm, though, which was nice.” 

“Well at least I have that going for me,” he jokes with a mock pout, which you promptly move in to kiss right off his face. You enjoy a sleepy, slow makeout for a few minutes and then he pulls away. 

He takes a deep breath before quietly saying, “Hey… I wanted to apologize for how I acted last night with the whole condom thing. I just got so frustrated because it seemed like we’d finally gotten it right… but that kind of negativity has no place in our relationship. Especially in a situation like that where you were feeling disappointed and vulnerable as well. So I’m sorry.”

“Ash,” you whisper softly. You take in the sight of him: long, dark curls darting out every which way from sleeping, scruffy beard you’re still certain he grew just for you, lips swollen from your kisses. His eyes are gorgeous as always but you can see the concern and remorse behind them and you feel like you can’t put him at ease soon enough. “You don’t have to apologize, it was disappointing and you don’t have to be Mr. Positivity 24/7 if you don’t feel like it. Not for me. I’d rather know how you’re really feeling.” 

“I guess I thought this would be easier. We’ve had so long to think about being together and to plan for it and it’s just been a constant let down,” he admits.

You chew your lip. “Well, listen. Last night still worked out? We still got to be intimate, I still got to experience waking up next to you. Sort of,” you tease. He cracks a smile and you couldn’t be more thankful. “But what you just said, maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe because we had so much time to think about this, maybe we’ve built it up too much in our minds and we’re just setting ourselves up to be disappointed.”

He nods, mulling over your words. “Like the fantasy was important during lockdown but now it’s tripping us up. If we were in more normal circumstances, we would’ve just slept together without much thought.”

“You really think your game’s that good?” You joke and he pinches you in response. “You’re right, though, I haven’t thought this much about a first time since I was a virgin.”

“So we need to find a middle ground between this idealization we’ve invented and doing it just to get it over with,” he suggests.

“Exactly,” you peck his lips in encouragement. “At the end of the day, it’s just sex. I’ve been looking forward to being with you, not to some super romantic, candlelit lovemaking experience at the end of a dream date.” “Whenever it happens, it’ll be perfect because we’re perfect,” he smiles.

The two of you carry that mentality with you throughout the next couple weeks. You hang out, go on a couple dates and even end up having a spontaneous video sex session like old times. You still burn with desire nearly every time he’s near you but removing that looming pressure to set the mood really does help put you at ease with each other. You feel more connected than ever, like you’re able to focus on him now instead of the experience.

“The drive-ins are opened back up now,” Ashton mentions during your afternoon call. “Think you might wanna catch a movie tonight?”

“God, remember movies? That could be fun,” you agree.

“A buddy of mine went last weekend, opened up the hatchback, put a bunch of pillows down, made it nice and cozy. Thought I might ask if I could borrow his car… we could have a little picnic back there before the movie,” he proposes.

You smile to yourself, loving how excited he gets planning dates. “Better bring your comfiest hoodie for me to steal, we’re gonna get fuckin’ snuggly.”

Ash loves a good reveal so when he picks you up, he’s sure to walk you around the front of the car so you don’t peek in the back of the mini SUV. You have fun teasing him on the way there, adjusting the mirrors, exaggeratedly acting like you’re glancing over your shoulder; watching his eyes go wide and hearing his stern “Hey!” simply never gets old. 

Amused as he is by your game, Ashton knows how to tease you right back and when you arrive at the drive-in, before he gets out of the car to finish setting up, he offers you a kiss and a quiet warning of “Be good” that basically guarantees you’ll stay in your seat until he says otherwise.

After a few minutes, he finally calls you back there and you’re blown away at the elaborate transformation. He pops the hatchback up to reveal the back rows of seats have all been laid flat and a thin layer of memory foam lays across them, covered by piles and piles of blankets. Pillows of every shape and size adorn the setup, along with a small cooler and a tote of movie snacks. In the center of the makeshift bed is the pizza you picked up for dinner and two champagne flutes filled with your favorite soda.

“Ash,” you coo as you climb into the back of the car. “This is so fucking cute? You said your friend put some pillows down, not made an entire love nest back here.”

“Well, I may have embellished a little,” he chuckles modestly, following you inside. “One of our first hang outs was at a movie, so I thought our grand return should be special.” 

You grin as you serve pizza onto each of your plates. “That feels like that was a thousand years ago but I still remember the chill that ran down my spine every time you leaned over the armrest to whisper some comment about the movie.”

“Yeah? I remember being nervous because I couldn’t tell if you were aroused or annoyed, to be honest,” he laughs. 

“Oh it was definitely both at first. You talked a lot and I didn’t pay LA ticket prices to hear your commentary track,” you giggle, playfully shoving his shoulder as his jaw drops. “But then I decided I really liked how it felt to have you pay attention to me.”

“And of course what I was saying was clever and enlightening and added to your cinematic experience,” he adds on with a smirk.

You give him a tight-lipped smile, raising your eyebrows in exaggeratedly mocking agreement. He flicks your leg in response and you yelp, unable to keep from smiling at him. The two of you continue reminiscing and making easy conversation while you devour your pizza dinner. By the time you’re done, the sun is setting.

You lay back on the pillows you’ve propped up and watch intently as Ash gets rid of the pizza box at a nearby trash can. You’d both agreed that the dress code for tonight was ‘comfort’ and he went with a black t-shirt and an endearingly bizarre pair of lounge pants that feature a mountain landscape illustrated across the legs. Unsurprisingly, the t-shirt hugs his chest and biceps, drawing attention to the tattoos up and down his arms that you haven’t been able to keep your hands off of. What is surprising is how the loose pants still cling to his body in all the right ways - pulling across his thick thighs and ass, making you wonder if he’s keeping things in his pockets or if the bulging in front you’re seeing is all him. You squeeze your legs together, pleased that he’s almost back at the car, eager to feel him, even if it’s just for a snugged up movie date.

He flashes you a dazzling smile as he walks up to the car. “What’s got you all dreamy-eyed?” He teases, settling in next to you. You feel your breath hitch as he comfortably rests his hand on your bare thigh, toying with the hem of your lounge shorts, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Just happy to be here,” you shrug, leaning over to peck his bearded cheek.

He hums at your affection, leaning his head on your shoulder as he fiddles with his phone, pulling up a radio app so he can tune to the station that will be broadcasting the audio for your screen. “It’s kind of a deadzone out there, there’s only maybe 5 other cars,” he reports, reaching behind you to make sure the bluetooth speaker he’s connected to is on. “Even with all the distancing, we probably didn’t need to park all the way back here.”

“I like it… Gives the illusion you rented out the place just for me, makes me feel special,” you joke. He giggles and kisses your shoulder.

The first movie of your double feature starts a few minutes later and you couldn’t possibly enjoy it more. The two of you trade jokes and snacks; it’s all just so comfortable and lovely, unfiltered and natural.

During the intermission, you decide to get out and stretch a bit before the second film starts. You notice that when you feel Ashton’s eyes poring over you as you bend and twist, you only feel pride and desire, none of the nervousness or timidity you’d felt a few weeks ago.

Once the movie starts, you sit and try to patiently wait and see if he’s going to make a move but by the time the opening credits are over, you can’t help but advance things yourself. You scoot closer but his eyes remain trained on the screen; you decide to more explicitly ask for his attention by nuzzling your face into his neck, pressing a few light kisses behind his ear, scratching his beard with your nails. “I’m having a good time,” you whisper, feeling him grin under your touch. “This was such a great idea, I’m happy you suggested it.”

He slinks his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “I’m so glad you like it,” he beams at you. “It’s fun to be out in the world again but also still pretty much alone.”

“Alone enough to do this,” you lilt, leaning in to plant your lips on his. Your kiss is gentle but urgent and he reciprocates your energy, cupping your face with one hand and using the other to press you against him, murmuring when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just when things start to get heated, one of you pulls back and warmly smiles at the other, as if you’re both excited for more but still wanting to appreciate what’s happening in this moment.

You don’t want to disrupt the makeout but you can’t fight the craving you have to feel more of him; you’re finally able to pull yourself away and you lay down on the bed, patting the spot next to you in what you hope is an alluring manner.

He moves closer and you close your eyes, ready to feel his touch. You’re startled to instead hear a grunt of frustration and the shifting of a leather seat. Your eyes snap open and you see him straining to reach into the front seat, trying to reach the keys in the ignition. You’re half a second away from asking what the hell he’s doing when you hear a distant beep and the hatchback slowly begins to close at the end of the cabin. 

He plops himself on the pillow next to you. “Thought we could use a little more privacy,” he explains, grabbing a handful of your ass and using it to pull you closer. “Just in case someone else out there thinks the movie is as boring as we did.”

You start to giggle at his remark but your laughter is interrupted by his lips returning to yours. You both let your mouths and hands do as they please, exploring and enjoying without hesitation and without expectation. You’ve just peeled off his shirt and are sucking a mark at his collarbone when you feel his hand slip up your shirt to palm your breast. You give a light bite to his skin as his fingers pull at your nipple; he groans as you breathily tell him, “You can do it harder.”

A few dozen kisses later, his hand is sliding down your stomach and past the waistband of your shorts. You pull out of his kiss to whine quietly as his long fingers brush through your wetness, only touching your clit incidentally before adding light pressure. 

“Good?” Ashton checks with a smile as your head lulls back and you grab onto him.

“Oh, you know… ‘s alright I guess,” you joke, your attempt at being casual undermined by the way you’re basically grinding into his hand. You let out a long moan and he quickly brings his mouth back down to yours in an attempt to silence it.

As his fingers and lips drive you wild, you find your own hands reaching for his pants and you sigh into his mouth when you feel his cock hard and ready for you. You run your fingers across the straining fabric, teasing him with one hand while the other works to loosen the drawstring. 

You dip your hand inside and grip his cock, choking back a moan when you feel how much he’s already leaked for you. The slickness helps you easily begin stroking him and you shift so you can study his face, wanting to see evidence of the pleasure you’re giving him. As your thumb swipes over his tip and your fingers firmly squeeze his length, Ash’s eyes flutter shut and he bites his lip, quietly muttering your name under his breath.

His fingers slip inside you and you gasp as pumps them in and out, dragging them against your walls, teasing your spot. It’s an intense moment when your eyes lock as his fingers work inside of you while yours glide up and down his cock, the two of you breathing heavy as you basically fuck each other without fucking.

“Ash…” You start, voice wavering.

“Yeah,” he answers in strained agreement. “Do you want --”

“Yes, yes I do. I brought --”

“So did I.”

You break apart from each other and reach for your belongings, chuckling as he pulls a handful of condoms from his backpack and tosses them onto the bed at the same time you pull some from your purse and add them to the pile.

“Well it’s good to know we’re both the kind of people who can learn from their mistakes,” he laughs, pulling you into a delighted kiss. 

An exciting energy fills the car as you both shift around, getting yourselves situated. Ashton pulls back a layer of blankets from the seats in case you want to cover up and bursts out laughing when he turns around to see you’ve already stripped off your shorts and panties and are sitting there pantsless and unbothered.

“We’re parked in the back, there’s barely anyone here and the windows are fogged up,” you shrug, grinning.

You find yourself captivated as you watch him kick his pants off and get up on his knees, wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping it a few times before rolling a condom on. This is really happening. Finally, really happening.

“C’mere,” he breathes, reaching for you. You crawl to him and he cradles your face, kissing you softly. You nibble at his lip as you pull away and the two of you can’t stop smiling.

You climb into his lap, sitting on his legs, staring into his eyes. “Ready?” He asks you, sweetly rubbing your thighs. 

You nod eagerly and lift yourself up to hover over his cock. He slicks the tip through your folds, stopping to tease over your clit a few times and then he’s watching your face as he presses against your entrance. 

Your mouth drops open as you start to take him. He's so thick the stretch is instant, breathtaking and everything you've been dreaming of. His fingers gingerly brush over your hip, encouraging you as you ease him further inside you, rocking up and down until you're impossibly full.

Ash wraps his arms around you, kissing you deeply, hands in your hair then running down your back, then squeezing your ass. You feel completely surrounded by him and it’s overwhelming in the best way. You break the kiss to quickly peel your t-shirt off and then you’re reattaching your lips to his, pressing your chest against his, needing to feel as much of his skin on yours as you possibly can.

“Yes, baby, fuck” he murmurs as you slowly begin to move on his cock. “Feel so fuckin’ perfect… better than I’ve been imagining.”

You respond with a series of whimpers, so caught up in the feeling of finally having him in you. You move cautiously, almost torturously slow until you adjust to his size and then you pick up the pace, his hands firmly gripping your ass, helping you along.

You don’t even have the end goal of an orgasm in mind, you just can’t get enough of the new sensations his cock is making you feel. You shift from rocking to bouncing on him, moaning loudly each time his length hits a new place inside you.

“Ash… your cock feels so fucking good,” you pant, riding him with increasing speed, losing yourself in it. “Can’t believe you’re finally filling me up, baby… fuck.”

Your movements are bordering on frantic when you feel Ashton lightly squeeze your hips, attempting to still them, gently breathing your name. You slow down and look at him inquisitively. The mixture of amusement, desire and warmth painting his face is enough to make your pounding heart skip a beat.

“Can I?” He softly asks. You nod and he carefully pulls out of you and lays you back against the pillows before settling over you. He pecks over your neck and face as he guides himself back inside you. “Think we owe it to ourselves to slow down and live in this for a while.”

He starts to push up so he can get to work but you stop him, tucking his long hair behind his ear, stroking your hand over his beard. “You’re right, just feels so good,” you grin. “Hard not to get carried away.”

Ashton kisses over your palm and begins leisurely moving his hips. He keeps a moderate pace, steady enough that you’re feeling consistent pleasure, feeling something building in your core, but not so hurried that you’re aching to reach the finish line. You hook your leg around his hip and when he pushes it slightly back towards you, he slides in deeper and his groan blends with yours to form possibly the most gorgeous sound you’ve ever heard.

“Jesus, baby… pussy’s takin’ me so well,” he praises, voice sounding more wrecked than you expected. “Such a pretty, giving pussy, baby… what a good girl.”

You shiver at his words, your hands running up and down his back, feeling his muscles flex as he moves above you; you slide your hands down to grab his ass, pulling him closer, willing him even deeper. Ash reaches between your bodies to find your clit, teasing it with just the right amount of pressure to make you moan. The snap of his hips has become slightly quicker and you can tell by his breathing that he’s getting close.

��Ash… so good, yes,” you mumble, reaching down to direct his hand in the pattern you need. He mimics your movements expertly and you start rocking your hips along with him, feeling the stirrings of your climax. “Fuck, like that… god, please.”

“Yeah?” He pants, watching your body start to tense. He takes his free hand and reaches for yours, lacing your fingers, squeezing encouragingly. “Been waiting so long to feel you cum around my cock… come on, baby, cum.”

The first pulse of your orgasm hits you so forcefully you’re shocked he doesn’t react to how hard you squeeze his hand. By the time the next one hits, you’re crying out in senseless mutters from how heavenly this moment feels, how his thick cock couldn’t fit more perfectly inside you as you tighten around it. The sensations feel like they might echo forever as you start to come back down, Ash continuing to move gently in you, reassuring you in a soft voice about how incredible you feel around him.

You pull him down to kiss him breathlessly, satisfied from your orgasm but still hungry for his affection, still needing him on you. “Want you to cum for me, babe,” you whisper. “Let me know how much you love being buried in this pussy.”

Your words drive Ashton’s thrusts to become frenzied as he growls your name, followed by a raspy string of curses. He lets out a deep groan as he fills the condom, rocking into you deep and slow as he works through his climax. His head drops to burrow into your neck and you shiver at how his beard prickles your overstimulated skin. You stroke through his curls, lightly damp with sweat, and whisper in his ear, “So good, Ash… so fuckin’ good.”

He plants an exhausted but sweet kiss on you, only breaking it for you both to whine as he pulls out of you; he carefully ties off the condom while you reach for some of the leftover napkins from dinner to clean yourself up. You sort through each other’s clothes, the two of you grinning like fools the entire time you’re getting dressed.

Ash leans back against the pillows and sighs loudly, gesturing for you to come lay with him. You crawl toward him, making a small detour over the front seat to press the release on the hatchback again. You settle against him as the door opens, the cool night air filling the car again, the long forgotten movie still being projected in the distance.

“Worth the wait?” You tease, giving him a toothy smile.

He holds you tight to his chest. “Fuckin’ hell, baby… as much as we built it up, think we still might’ve undersold it. Like. Goddamn.”

You hum in agreement, closing your eyes, enjoying the afterglow. “I’m glad we just kind of let it happen. That’s probably the best first time I’ve ever had. Definitely the most comfortable.”

“Same. Easy but still just… perfect,” he says dreamily.

You play with his fingers, chuckling, “I was so comfortable I almost asked you to cum on me until I remembered we were fucking in your friend’s car.”

“I mean, it was already questionable for us to have gotten fully naked in his car, we might as well have gone all out,” Ashton laughs loudly, squeezing your hand. “I think Cal had a suspicion this might happen, he left breath mints, condoms and Clorox wipes in the glove compartment.” 

You cackle. “No blacklight, though?”

He pinches your leg and leans in to drown your laughter with a kiss. You gaze at him for a beat, marvelling at how normal everything feels for once. You notice he’s looking at you with a familiar fire in his eyes and you swear even though you were naked with him just a few minutes ago, you actually feel butterflies in your stomach.

You raise your eyebrows at him expectantly and Ash smirks. “Was just thinkin’ it’s for the best anyways. The first time I cover you in cum I don’t want it to be in a dark backseat, I want to be able to see it.”

You quietly groan, a naughty glint in your eye to match his. You sit up and plant a heated kiss on him, pulling away to murmur, “Well. It’s still early… my place or yours?”

————-

Thank you to everyone who signed up for my new taglist, both for the support and the lovely (occasionally hilarious) feedback! If you haven’t signed up yet, the form is linked above! (If your name is crossed out, please check your blog settings, I was unable to tag you)

@notinthesameguey @cxddlyash @2fangirl4u @cashtonasfuck @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @pxrxmoore @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @ashton-trash @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @Burntout-ky @saphseoul @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @curlycalums @maggiesupertramp @wiiildflowerrr @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton​ @aladyofalbion​ @xsongbirdx​ @loveroflrh​ @memyselfandbea​

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (2/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: fluff, sexual situation 18+, and ANGST BABY, and sorry.

Part 1 // Part 3

The sun beamed through your bedroom window shortly after you fell asleep, peeking it’s rays passed your makeshift curtains. You tossed and turned all morning as thoughts of Bucky ran through your head.

You’d seen him from afar almost every night since he moved in. At first he was shy, only ducking his head out for air every now and then. Eventually, though, you asked him to stick around, have a beer with you. He declined the offer the first couple of times, but one night he was out there before you as if he were waiting for you.

Since then, you were his late night remedy after another terrible nightmare. Some nights you would be too tired to set out and talk. Those nights were the worst for Bucky.

You helped him think of other things, helped him take his mind off of his past if only for a short time. So when you weren’t out there he had nothing but time to sit alone and think. Think of all the things he’s done, all the horrors of his past. His victims' faces flashing to life as he relives every moment. When you didn’t save him from himself, he could never go back to sleep. He was always too scared and frightened at what his mind would make him relive if he closed his eyes, again.

But sometimes, after you talk for a while, he would dream of you. Even though he’d only seen you from across the way as well, in his dreams he was touching your soft skin. He could still hear you giggling but this time in his ear as he kissed down your neck. Those dreams he cherished. You were the only positive thing his unconscious mind would grant him and he was okay with that.

//

Your alarm went off at 10am, giving you just enough time to shower, do your hair and get dressed. The weather outside was beautiful; clear skies and sunny. You dressed for summer for the first time in over a year. It didn’t take long for 11am to hit as you found yourself rushing around your apartment, scrambling to find your keys and wallet. Instead of putting your shoes on, you grabbed them and rushed out the door;

Locking the door from the inside.

You were late. Only by five minutes, but Bucky began to panic. You were the first person he was seeing that wasn’t part of him trying to ‘make amends’. He liked you and that was a lot for him to process already. You were the first person who was genuinely nice to him since the blip. He didn’t want to screw this up.

When you were six minutes late, the heavy breathing kicked in. As if he wasn’t nervous enough, now he’s sure you weren’t coming. He scratches his head in defeat and begins to walk away.

Before he could get too far, though, you come barreling out the door,

“Bucky? Bucky, oh my god. I’m so sorry.” You say out of breath. “One minute I was getting ready and the next my favorite song came on so I got a little lost and then- BAM” you shout, making Bucky jump in surprise. He could tell you were nervous too, just from the rambling. You rambled a lot when you were nervous. He found it cute.

“It was 10:55. I’m so sorry. I hope you weren’t down here long.”

“No just-“ He looks at the watch on his right wrist, “about ten minutes. I was early.” He states, clearing his throat.

Once you caught your breath reality set in. Here he was. He was even more beautiful up close. But it was really just his face you could admire, the rest of him was covered from his neck to his toes in dark clothing.

“You know it’s, like, eighty degrees out, right?” You giggle, looking his attire over.

He sighed, “Ah.. yeah, I’ll be fine. This actually keeps me cool.” He lied.

“Really? Your black leather jacket with matching gloves keeps you cool?”

He shakes his head, smirking down at you, “Ya know, you’re way more annoying in this proximity. I think I’m just gonna-“ He laughs, pointing to his apartment.

“Shut up.” You say shoving his left shoulder. Your palm landed on his covered metal arm and Bucky grabbed your wrist gently before lowering it back to your side.

“So what’s the plan today?” He asks, trying to cut through the awkwardness he’d brought between the two of you.

“Well, first I’ll put my shoes on, and then I thought we’d go to the square. There’s some sort of event going on. I thought it’d be more fun to walk around rather than sit and talk.” You shrug.

You were awkward but confident in your own way. It’s like you embraced the awkwardness and Bucky loved that about you. To his surprise, but not really that surprising, you were more awkward in person. But also so beautiful. More beautiful than he’d dreamed. The skin that peaked through your clothing appeared soft. He wanted to reach out and touch you, but at the same time didn’t want to rush anything. Bucky was old fashioned in many ways and dating was one.

You beamed this sort of natural glow under your shy demeanor. Bucky smiled, “We can do whatever you want, after I help you with your shoes.”

“Oh.. you don’t have ta- waaa” Bucky helped you balance as he held your foot over his knee, placing the shoe on each foot, then double knotting your laces. “He can tie shoes too. God, is there anything you can’t do?” You giggle.

Bucky groans like an old man as stood back on his feet, “whistle.” He grins.

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah, I am.” He laughs, nudging your shoulder. “Come on.”

You smile up at him when he holds his right arm out to you. Your arm links with his as he walks you around the busy Brooklyn sidewalk.

//

The square was packed. Kids running around you and Bucky with every other step, it feels like. You watch as he held back a smile when a sweet little girl ran up and gave him a flower.

“Oh, is this for me?” He asked, kneeling down to her eye level. She nods, “Thank you, Doll. I’ll keep it til the petals fall off, how’s that sound?” He smiled as she giggled and ran away.

“And he’s good with kids.” You note aloud again.

“Kids are much easier to talk to than adults.” He smirked.

Bucky held onto the flower the entire time. It made your heart melt a little more each time you caught him twirling it between his fingers. He was simple. Even the smallest act of kindness went a long way with him.

You moved from booth to booth, shop to shop, trying on hats that made Bucky grin and ate the greased food Bucky's ever consumed. He watched as you talked to the small business owners littering the square just hoping for people to buy from their booth. He notices the crinkles by your eye when you laugh. He’d never seen such beauty in one smile. You were kind, understanding and patient with him and that’s exactly what he needed.

You never asked about his arm and he was so grateful for that. When he came out shirtless the first time he didn’t know you were there. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw you waving over to him. He expected all the usual questions, but you never asked one.

Even today you grabbed it to drag him to another booth and you didn’t even flinch. This put Bucky at ease. You're the first person to hold his hand in years. It’s silly but it means more to him than you’ll ever know.

“What do you think of these?” You ask, trying on a pair of sunglasses.

“I like the other ones.” He points to the other pair in your hand.

“Hmm, okay. Just these then.” You pay for the sunglasses and walk back the way you came as the event was ending.

“Did you have fun?” Bucky asked, hesitantly moving his hand closer to yours.

“I had a great time, Buck. You’re good company.” His heart lurched at the complement. He stretched his pinky out towards the back of your palm, running it open and down your soft skin before you got the hint and took his hand into yours. You both wore smiles the whole way back.

The walk home was pretty quiet. You’d gotten a little more comfortable and rested your head against his leather covered metal arm, sighing as your feet began to ache.

“Thanks for hanging out with me.” You say once you arrived at your building.

“Thanks for inviting me.” He gave you a shy smile.

It was still midday and you were positive you’d be too tired to sit out tonight. In all honesty you weren’t quite ready to say goodbye just yet. You cleared your throat, trying to think of a way to get him upstairs without sounding too desperate.

“I’d love to put that pretty flower in a vase for you,” it wasn’t a great excuse but you gotta work with what you got.

“Are you trying to steal my flower?” He scoffed jokingly.

“Of course not I-“

“The audacity..”

“Shut up,” you giggle. “I’m just trying to get you upstairs, okay?” The air around you thickens. Did you really just say that? I thought we were going for not too desperate.

“I don’t think that’s-“

“It's okay, Bucky. I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye, is all.” The frown you wore made his heart sink. Has he upset you now?

“You know, I’m not really ready to say goodbye either.” He grins down at you. A soft sigh of relief comes from you and you smile, taking his hand into yours again and dragging him upstairs.

Once you opened the door, you kicked yourself for not cleaning up. It wasn’t too bad just empty beer bottles on your coffee table and an open pizza box.

“Sorry it’s so messy.” You apologize, picking things up on your way to the kitchen. “Would you like a plum?”

“No thanks. I have a bad history with plums.” Bucky says. You hum in understanding even though you were totally confused. But that is also going into the ill-talk-about-it-when-I-want-to-talk-about-it file.

Are the nightmares plum related? Anyways.

Bucky followed you to the kitchen and watched as you ate the plum. The juices of the plum stained your lips and even ran down your chin. Bucky was drooling over you. So beautiful and sexy and you’re just eating a plum. He hadn’t realized his mouth was hanging open as he watched you, but you did.

You smiled shyly, “Would you like a bite?” You asked, pulling Bucky from his trance.

He smirked, “Out of you or the plum?”

Your cheeks flushed as you swollen the remnants of the plum and the lump that now sat in your throat. “That’s entirely up to you, Buck.”

He smiled. He was a little nervous to go too far with you but he couldn’t stand it any longer. It’d been so long since someone noticed him the way you do and watching those juices drip down your chin did him in. He needed you just as bad as you wanted him.

He walked up to you slowly, taking the plum from you and biting into it. The juices now glossed his lips as well as he whispered, “how about both?”

A whimper fell from your lips, making Bucky lose all sense of control. Letting the plum slip from his fingertips, he cupped your face with his hands before smashing his lips to yours. He absentmindedly raised you to your tiptoes, so entranced with your taste. He could taste the plum on your breath and somehow that tasted even sweeter than taking a bite straight from the plum itself.

Bucky was drunk for the first time in decades and he didn’t need alcohol to do it; he just needed you. You were the elixir he’d been searching for all this time. He needed you as much as he needed oxygen to breathe.

You moaned into his mouth as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your room as if he’d done it a million times before.

Your head hit the mattress as he laid you down. He groaned into your mouth, rubbing himself against you. “Bucky..” you whimpered once his lips trailed to your neck.

This was something you never thought would happen but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. You wanted all of him; his touch, his affection, his past, his secrets he’d never even tell his closest friend, his bad days, his good days, everything. You were overwhelmed with him, his cologne taking over your sense and his tender touches sending you into a frenzy.

Once he got to your chest, you sat up and flipped him over, pinning his hands above his head as you did so. You began to trail kisses down his neck now and undid his jacket.

Bucky winced when you pinned him down. He felt a panic attack approaching and he did everything he could to stop it. He tried to steady his breathing but with the way you were kissing him, that was never going to happen. He started counting to ten slowly in his head, but nothing he did could stop this attack from coming on. Flashbacks of being chained to gurneys and beds hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Oh god-“ he cried, making you stop and look up at him.

“Bucky-? Are you okay?”

He couldn’t hear you through the pounding in his ears and the noises of them working on his arm that were etched into his memories.

“Stop-“ he cried out, more to himself than you.

“Bucky what’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked worried but also a little frightened.

“Get off of me..” He whimpered.

“Bucky?”

“I said get off of me.” Bucky through you to the floor as he sat up. Tears streamed down his face now. The panic attack was in full swing and he didn’t know what to do. All he knew was that he had to get out of here.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am.” He apologized just before running down the hall and out of your apartment.

Bucky left you confused, hurt and now frightened. Your body ached from being thrown to the floor.

All you knew was, the man you came into the apartment with wasn’t the same one who left.

Masterlist

Taglist: @haydens-moles @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @wintersoldiersthings @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger @drinkfantasy @tonystankschild @tfandtws

[fanmoose12]

ansgty hc inspired by your recent post where hange and levi were sending each other letters: let's say that levi lived until the end of the finale and as he finished helping armin settle in the commander's office, an eccentric-looking box catches his attention. it turns out to be full of hange's old journals she kept as a trainee until she became a commander. some of these write-ups would be yeaaars old. research notes, grocery lists (that had stuff he liked written down, like his favorite brand of black tea and cleaning supplies 🥺) aaaand of course, for a dash of extra pain -- letters she never gave to him (she probably wrote a scratched-out love confession somewhere). imagine a post-war recovering levi clutching hange's journals and reading her entries way baaaack before and during the no regrets ova timeline until the marley vs paradis arc TIME TO SOB :((((((

"Captain, you don't have to do this," Armin spoke softly. "I can clear it all myself."

"No," Levi harshly refused. "I'll do it. It's- it's the least I can do."

"Captain..." there was an infinite sadness in Armin's voice and in his eyes. Some of it, Levi knew, wasn't caused by the need to clean Hange's office. They all had their fair share of tragedies.

"I'm not your Captain anymore," he answered wearily. "And don't bother yourself with worrying about me. Just-"

"I'll give you some time," Armin nodded. He gave Levi one last cautious look and then turned, slowly walking away.

Levi watched him go for a second and then looked at the door, grasping the handle. He opened that door hundreds, if not thousands of times. There shouldn't be anything hard about it. Yet his heart was in his throat as he stared at the wooden surface.

It was the second time he was clearing that particular room. It was the second time he couldn't protect what was important to him.

He let out a shaky breath and turned the handle.

The room was dusty. It was messy, with stacks of papers littering every possible surface. It was... just as Hange left it.

Levi gulped and stepped inside.

His knees grew weaker with every step. He tried to pretend it was from exhaustion. He tried to keep his composure for as long as it was possible.

He decided to start with a desk, gathering all the papers, quills and books. Most of it held no importance - simple reports, accounts and official letters. Levi held each paper with utmost care, laying it inside the card box he had brought with him.

Most of the stuff there was meaningless, useless. But not for him.

For him, it was a proof, an evidence of Hange's existence, a testimony of her work and life, of everything she had accomplished. For Levi, it was the most precious thing in the world.

Slowly and methodically he looked through every paper and journal. Hours went until he moved from the desk to the bookshelf, from the bookshelf to the closet.

His hand trembled, as he opened it and saw Hange's jacket still hanging inside. His fingers touched the soft fabric. It wasn't washed in a long time, Hange's smell still clinged to it. Levi took it off the rack and draped it around his shoulders.

He pulled the jacket tighter around himself and continued with his work. At the back of the closet he saw a small box, and, curious Levi took it in his hands.

Inside lay even more papers, but those were different. They still were written by Hange, but the handwriting was different, a lot messier. They were written before Erwin's death, Levi guessed. They were written back when Hange was still allowed to be a messy, crazy scientist, not an strict and experienced leader.

The box contained her scribblings and doodles, drafts of new weapons and outlines for the next experiments. There were a few of drawings, and the quality of them told Levi that they were most likely done by Moblit.

At the very bottom of it all, Levi found an envelope. 'For Levi' was written on it.

Levi's breath hitched. Carefully he opened the envelope. Inside there was a letter.

Feeling his legs buckle, Levi sat down on chair beside the table and started reading.

If you're reading this, then one of those things happened: you went through my stuff again, probably during your cleaning spree; I was too much of a chicken to tell you everything myself and left it by your door; or... I'm not with you anymore. If the latter is true, than I'm sorry and I hope you can go on without me. Also I hope that in my last moments, I looked as awesome as possible. If not, then please pretend I did.

Either way, I'm writing you this letter because there is so much I want to tell you and so little time to actually talk with you. Life has been hectic in those last years, don't you think? Sometimes I wish we could go back to the way it was. I wish we could go back to the times, where it was just us - you, me, Erwin, Mike, Nanaba and Moblit fighting a hopeless fight against giant monsters. No shifters, no Marley, just our shitty little world inside the walls. Don't you think it'd be nice?

You probably don't, and you probably are rolling your eyes at my naivety. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, Levi. You are the closest friend I ever have. You're the last friend that I have, and I... I can not thank you enough for this. For sticking by my side through thick and thin, for tolerating my quirks and weird habits, for being my rock in this sea of uncertainties. I lov... Ah, well, you probably know exactly how I feel about you, subtlety was never my strong forte.

We live in a terrible world, but if there is one thing I'm grateful for, if there is one thing that almost makes it all worth is the fact that I've met you. You make me so happy, Levi, and I'm so happy to have an honor of calling you my friend.

You know, sometimes I wonder - would we still get along if not for our circumstances? Would you still like me if not for the duty that bound us together?

Sometimes I try to imagine a different life, a life where we could be allowed to be happy. To be together - safe and alive. Maybe, I'd still be living with my parents, up in a big mansion in the middle of the capital. Maybe, you'd be a notorious criminal from th Underground I'd have a scandalous affair with! You would sneak into my room in the middle of the night, getting past my father's guards and climbing inside though the window.

Or, maybe, I'd be a student and you'd work at the bar I frequent. I'd be trying to flirt with you to get free drinks for me and my friends, and you'd grumble and roll your eyes at me, waving me off like an annoying fly.

Maybe, we could be simple soldiers, without high ranks and important tasks. We'd be allowed to retire and run away to a small village, where we could live together and raise some cattle.

Wouldn't it be nice?

It would, and I'm sure you think the same. But life is what it is, and, for better or worse, we can't do nothing to change it.

Despite all the shit we've been through, there is one thing I would never think of changing, and it's meeting and befriending you. Whatever happens when you read this letter, I hope you remember this. And remember me.

Forever yours, Hange

There was a dark, old stain at the end of the letter. As he finished reading it, another one appeared.

Levi let the tears flow, rereading the letter again and again. He could almost hear Hange's voice as he read her words. He could almost see her smile and her bright eyes.

He wished Hange told him sooner. He wished he confessed to her before the world had torn them apart. But he knew it wouldn't have changed anything.

They were soldiers, nothing more than tools of war. Their hearts weren't their own, they belonged to humanity.

But with no squad to lead and no battle to fight, Levi turned into an old and broken man. His heart still wasn't his own, as he had given it away, sacrificing it along with his hope for a happy future with the one he loved.

He could still dream, though. Dream of another life, dream of those scenarios Hange described.

He could still dream and hope that it wasn't their last meeting, that in another life, much kinder than this one, they'd be allowed to be happy.

[kae-karo]

Luckae, something along the lines of, it’s rotten work / not to me, not if it’s you.

HELLO HI DEAR tysm for ur patience while i worked on this!!! and THANK YOU THANK YOU for the prompt!! gods they're really just so perfectly set up for this dynamic aren't they??

not if it's you - T - 2.3k

tags: kaeluckae, reconciliation sorta, canon divergence, blood mention/injury mention

--

Diluc returns from a particularly rough fight during his moonlighting as the Darknight Hero to find Kaeya once again waiting for him at the winery, as he always seems to be. For some reason.

[read on ao3]

--

“My my, another rough evening, Master Diluc?”

Kaeya’s voice sounds tinny and off-key, but Diluc knows it well enough to understand when he’s being taunted. His hand remains pressed flat to his abdomen, grateful for the black of his jacket to hide what must be a particularly gruesome bloodstain.

“Why are you here,” he grits out as he slumps against the door, hopes that he can hold onto his composure for just long enough to convince Kaeya to leave. Adelinde can tend his wound, and Diluc does not have to face the mortification of admitting weakness in front of Kaeya.

“Why, for the wine, of course!” Kaeya says, as he always does. As he does every time Diluc returns to find him here, lounging in a chair in the winery’s entrance, at least one empty bottle on the table in front of him. Now, he hoists his glass in a false toast, offers Diluc a smirk. The dim candlelight makes it look sinister.

Until he tips his head back just a fraction, hardly any movement at all, but Diluc sees Kaeya from before, the Kaeya that would stay up all night with him, share stories of their dreams for the future under dim candlelight or bright moonlight, when the weather allowed it.

“Have I bored you so easily, Master Diluc?” Kaeya tuts, takes a sip of his wine, and Diluc grits his teeth. Partly in response to Kaeya, partly in an effort to keep himself aware. Partly to block out the pain - not the worst he’s endured, but most certainly high on the scale.

Kaeya shifts, though, and a clink makes it to Diluc’s ears. His eyes remain partly unfocused, so he blinks a few times, finds snapshot moments of Kaeya’s feet dropping from the table to the ground, Kaeya standing, Kaeya moving closer.

He hears his name, too - just Diluc this time, no tongue-in-cheek title to go along with it, and Diluc’s hand falls from his stomach. He didn’t ask it to, but gods did it require such effort to hold it there. He thinks there was a reason for it being there, but this is easier, isn’t it? To just let it fall, to let his body relax. To rest - gods, when was the last time he rested?

Warmth envelops him quite suddenly, then, and he doesn’t mind it. He’d been quite cold before, actually, and this is nice. Comfortable. He’s not sure what it is, though - his eyes won’t open, and-

Oh. Is this death? Kaeya’s kept him standing here for too long, or maybe he’s grown too- what’s the word? The opposite of humble, perhaps he’s gotten too...arrogant, that’s it. Like Kaeya. Like Kaeya. Like…

He blinks, surprised to find light pouring in now. Surprised to find...Kaeya. Hovering over him, brows furrowed and lips twisted, and a sudden-

“Ah-” Diluc coughs out as pain lances through him, sharp and sudden, and Kaeya’s gaze flicks over to meet Diluc’s. His tight expression evens out so quickly, then, that Diluc wonders if he’d imagined it.

Wonders, then, where exactly-

“Hold- Diluc,” Kaeya snaps, and Diluc pauses his attempts at looking around in favor of turning his gaze to Kaeya. Kaeya, who - upon closer inspection, and a clearer mind - appears...worried? “Hold still.” He enunciates the words with icy clarity.

Diluc does as he’s told, if only because he has not seen Kaeya like this...perhaps ever. At the very least, not since they were kids. He watches with furrowed brows as Kaeya’s hand returns to his stomach - exposed, now, and he sees the- ah. Right.

“You have no sense of self preservation,” Kaeya grumbles, almost petulant, and Diluc...he does not entirely know what to make of that. A decade ago, he might’ve thought it endearing, that Kaeya would worry for him, would make a fuss over an injury, but now…

“I don’t see why that concerns you,” he says, and finds his voice dry and hoarse. Kaeya shoots a glare in his direction, but does not respond. A rare occurrence, when he’s usually the one to prefer to fill the silence with idle chatter.

Diluc’s gaze flicks down again to where an ugly line cuts its way across his abdomen, and he watches as Kaeya sticks a needle unkindly through the edges of the wound. The pain itself comes almost as an aftershock, nearly hidden behind the wave of realization that hits him in that moment.

In all the nights that Diluc has returned from his masked forays into the city and its outskirts - all the nights that Kaeya, coincidentally, decides to make his way to the winery - Kaeya has never stayed.

And he has most certainly never tended to Diluc’s injuries, though Diluc supposes that this is the first one he’s been unable to hide from Kaeya.

The next prick of pain is not so bad, now that he’s prepared for it, and he watches Kaeya’s fingers dexterously weave shut the wound. He does not speak as he works, does not cast more than a cursory glance in Diluc’s direction, and Diluc does not know what to say.

Doesn't know how to act, when Kaeya steps out of his role as the flippant, duplicitous charmer. When he is sincere, when he’s-

“Archons,” Diluc grits out as Kaeya splashes something- ah, alcohol. Very distilled, apparently. His whole body tenses around the epicenter of the pain, the white-hot sting in his abdomen that refuses to subside even as Kaeya steps back, one arm crossed over his chest as he takes a generous sip from the very same bottle.

He sets it down on the nearby table with a hard thunk, his sour mood quite obvious, but does not turn to face Diluc. Just stares, hand gripped tight still to the neck of the bottle, and Diluc thinks that he has never seen Kaeya angry like this.

Tired, hurt, broken and hopeless, Diluc has seen all of these things, but never...never this. Never the tight expression, barely visible for the way his hair falls in his face. Never the white-knuckled grip that he must be controlling still, or it’d break the neck of the bottle. Never the quiet tension in his shoulders, hunched where they’re usually set back in a peacock-proud display.

Diluc does not know how to handle an angry Kaeya.

He sits up a fraction more, as though it might help clear his confused, clouded thoughts, but it only serves to make him wince and suck in an involuntary breath at the sting of his wound.

Kaeya’s head whips around, focuses sharply on Diluc, and Diluc holds immeasurably still. For a moment, he wishes that Adelinde had been the one to find him - her caretaking is far less...tense.

“I will freeze you to the table if you can’t manage to lay still,” Kaeya says, voice empty and nearly as cold as his ice. It crawls to his fingers, spreads from them to the bottle in a spiderweb of frost.

Diluc shakes his head, regrets the wave of dizziness that follows but does his best to keep his expression even.

“Why?” he manages after a moment, and Kaeya coughs out a laugh.

“You get yourself gutted, then ask why you need to rest?” A bitter scoff, and Kaeya releases his grip on the bottle to stand upright, to cross his arms over his chest and glare down at Diluc. “Fine,” he waves a hand. “Treat your life like it means nothing, then.”

Diluc’s brows furrow at Kaeya’s hard stare.

“Go on,” he urges, waves a hand now at the door. “Don’t you have important hero business to attend? Surely you won’t bleed out along the way!” Kaeya bares his teeth, an angry approximation of a grin, and the words hit Diluc like a- well, like a sword through his gut.

His chest falls with a heavy breath, and he wonders - perhaps naively, perhaps masochistically - if this is how it might’ve felt to be on the other end of his own blade that night all those years ago. If it was instead he who stood opposite Kaeya’s anger, knew his own faults and laid them bare for Kaeya to slash apart with his sword.

There’s a clink, then, and Diluc refocuses to find Kaeya lifting the alcohol from its perch, and he drops heavily into a chair and lifts the bottle to his lips. Drinks long and deep, then levels an unreadable stare on Diluc.

“If you intend to get yourself killed,” he says, quieter now, and his gaze flicks away. “At least have the common decency not to make me bear witness to it.” He takes another sip, and Diluc watches as something in his chest burns. Aches.

It’s a childish thing, he thinks, and he doesn’t entirely know where it comes from, but it blazes through him like wildfire, hot and painful, and he exhales a shuddered breath. This draws Kaeya’s stare, sharp with concern, and Diluc does not know how to wave it off.

“I did not mean to cause you any distress,” he says quickly, and Kaeya averts his stare the moment Diluc speaks. Leans back into the chair, evidently satisfied that Diluc’s death is not imminent.

“And yet, you run rampant through the streets with no care for your own wellbeing,” he says, voice like ice again. “Funny how that works.” Another sip from the bottle, and he rests it on his thigh. Keeps his gaze directed toward the door, though it remains unfocused.

“Is that why you wait here?” Diluc asks, then, as the realization dawns on him. Is that why I find you here every night I’ve gone out? Is that why you show up at the winery, seemingly at random, and only leave once I’ve returned?

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, Master Diluc.” A hint of humor, but the bitterest kind. Kaeya glances from the corner of his eye, and Diluc sees it - hears it, almost, in a voice that is Kaeya’s but isn’t. A voice from a time when Kaeya spoke earnestly, when he did not cloak every truth in a veil of lies and almost-honesty.

If I admit that I care about you, then things change. We change.

He wonders, then, if Kaeya doesn’t want to - if he doesn’t want to care for Diluc. If he’d rather hate Diluc outright. It’s the same feeling that Diluc had felt about Kaeya all those years ago. It would be easier, certainly. Hard to feel pain when you allow nothing close to your heart - Diluc knows that truth well enough.

And yet, Kaeya’s all but admitted that he cares regardless.

“You don’t have to,” he says - an out, though it’s not quite a response to what Kaeya’s said. More to the words that he hasn’t spoken. “To be here,” he adds. “I can take care of myself. I know it’s-”

Painful to keep caring, when Diluc can never quite rid himself of his need for martyrdom. Impossible to justify it, when loss hovers so closely around Diluc that it might as well be a second skin. When he seeks it out most nights, tempts fate and knows that it will catch up with him some day.

“It’s rotten work,” he says quietly, and his gaze drifts to the wound that Kaeya’s so carefully tended. How many more will Diluc endure? How many would Kaeya stand by and watch before he can’t stand it? There is a reason that Diluc has never pursued lovers or a family or the like.

“Not to me.”

Diluc glances up, finds Kaeya still staring off into the distance. His gaze drifts over then, though, and holds Diluc’s. Something small, almost a smile, flickers at the corner of his lip.

“Not if it’s you,” he adds, even as his jaw tenses with something that Diluc has not seen since the night he raised a sword at Kaeya. Kaeya shakes his head, huffs out a breath. “You never quite figured it out, did you?”

He takes another sip of the alcohol, and Diluc’s brows furrow just slightly.

“Figured what out?” The ‘it’ tugs at his thoughts, though, somewhere just beyond his comprehension. He knows it, he thinks, whatever Kaeya intends to say, but Kaeya’s gaze flicks over, and he exhales a short breath.

“Never mind.” A smile curls the corner of his lip, gentler than his usual sharp smirk. “You need to rest. I’ll be here.”

He turns away again, then, and props a foot up on the table beside him. Takes another short sip from the bottle, and Diluc stares.

Sees it with crystal clarity, then, when Kaeya’s eye flicks over, just for the briefest moment, and it burns through Diluc’s chest - painful, warm, hot and bright and terrifying all at once. A thing he has buried for a very long time, because caring hurts.

“Kaeya.” Kaeya glances over properly now, and Diluc holds his stare. “Thank you.”

A small smile touches his lips, gentle and careful and Kaeya-from-their-childhood, and Diluc is fifteen again, and reckless and brave and head-over-heels, and just once, he allows that feeling to wash over him. When his lips curl up in a soft smile, Kaeya’s own grin widens, though he hides it with the bottle as he takes a sip.

“Get some rest, Master Diluc,” Kaeya chides, so warmly that it sounds fond, and Diluc’s heart feels so free and light it might fly right out of his chest.

That could also be blood loss, he supposes as a wave of dizziness turns the edges of his vision black, and he leans carefully back onto the table. Is grateful that Kaeya had thought to bring him a pillow, or he might be in for an uncomfortable night of sleep.

“Good night, Kaeya,” he offers quietly, and Kaeya huffs out a gentle, amused breath. Tips his head in Diluc’s direction, and Diluc’s eyes drift shut with the image of his smile branded in his mind - sincere, genuine in a way that Diluc hasn’t seen in years.

“Good night, Luc.”

[yoichichi]

Big Brain Bitches Playlist ❣️

For the lovely @nataliahaslosthershit , thank you for always being so kind and being patient!!!

disclaimers: this is a fem!reader since it is a request, so if there’s any instances where those pronouns or the fact it’s a fem reader is alluded to that’s why!

warnings: Tsukishima, that’s the warning

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: thank you for being so patient sweetie!! I really hope you like this and I did my best with the playlist to include a little bit of everything you like!!!

Relationship Headcannons

As much as Tsukishima would lowkey HATE the way you always wanna make friends (not really he just likes being a shithead) he also just finds it so cute??? Like he’s like 🙄✋🏼 must you talk to everyone?? But is also like :) shes so friendly and tries so hard to be nice :) how did I find someone like her :) but he keeps that on the lowkey a bit and GOD LET ANYONE BE RUDE TO YOU WHEN HE SEES YOU AS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL‼️‼️‼️

Tsukishima is also focused on his studies and would appreciate you being focused as well, he would hate to see you over stressed from the importance your parents put on it, and he’d always be doing/saying things to get you to relax as best as he could

“You’ve gone over this 5 times, do you really think you’re that stupid that you have to go over it again?”

“We should take a break, let’s go take a walk to the corner store and find some good snacks. Studying is always more effective if you take breaks like that anyway.”

It is, but he’s more concerned with removing those frown lines from your forehead and warming your hand up with his

Sidenote - definitely the type to blow on your hands while their held in his to warm them up

ANYWAYS

Regardless, it’d become a habit for you two to always do your studying together since he wants to be sure you’re not overworking yourself.

STUDY DATES‼️‼️

Idk I can just see him always bringing a second bottle of water with him just in case you need it ??LMAO like y’all would be studying and you’d be like

“I’m a little thirsty, I’m gonna get-“

“🤨”

boom bottle of water on the table for you

PLS he won’t give it to you until you mention you’re thirsty tho, unless he feels like he hasn’t seen you drink enough water

I don’t see him as a big talker while he studies with you unless you’re helping each other out, he just kind of likes your presence while you guys are studying cause it feels like bonding and he just likes spending time with you :)

A bit off topic of study dates but you can’t tell me his love language ISNT quality time and he would never admit it but he’s definitely clingy lowkey LMAO

like he just wants to spend his free time with you even if it’s just being in the same room together but doing different things?? He thinks being able to be your own person while still enjoying each other is important in a relationship

So of course he’ll sit in a room with you and eavesdrop read a book while you gossip with your friends over the phone and then listen to you rant about it after

just like how he appreciates when you ask about his day while you cook dinner together and ask him all kinds of follow up questions, cause you actually care and want to know!!

Ok but ANYWAY back to study dates:

So like I was saying, not a big talker, but I feel like complete silence would freak him out?? This mf always got his headphones so one of you has got to be playing music while you’re studying, but do you know what this means?

This means that a song has definitely come on that he likes and he totally was humming or even quietly singing along to himself, not really thinking about the fact you were there and can definitely hear him, and as soon as he realizes he would just look at you and shut up SO fast LMAO

Like he’d just get wide eyed and breath in and stop singing and just kind of look up at you AND HIS EARS WOULD BE SO RED (he’s an ear blusher for sure) and he’d do that WHITE BOY SMILE THING WHERE HE HAS DEAD EYES AND HIS MOUTHS A THIN LINE but he’d look so shy and embarrassed plssss and he’d just look back down to his textbook and try not to think about it

And you’d just giggle and he could only groan and be like “let’s move on 😐” BUT YOURE DEFINITELY NOT FORGETTING THAT

But study dates?? Yeah they’re important to you two

Tsukishima would also be constantly making sure you’re taking care of yourself outside of studying, like making sure you’re needs are taken care of since you have a tendency to over look them in the favor of others (which I feel like would really drive him crazy cause you’re his baby!!! He can’t stand that thought !!!)

Like if he saw you offer a friend your last snack knowing you hadn’t eaten enough today he’s slapping a snack in your possession so fast like 😐 eat this, now.

ITS A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE IN THE CALMEST WAY but it’s just cause you’re important to him

The bullying??? Yes he’d love that cause he’s just like 😳‼️ you keep up with him and he’d just love the back and forth between you two so much

Queue the eye rolls and lopsided smirk while he’s grabbing your hand and kissing it telling you to shut up

Regarding your stims - he’d definitely take notice and probably do things like always holding your hand to make sure you aren’t hurting yourself too bad!

I know people have mentioned him not being that big on PDA but I feel like he’d take a neutral stance on it, like holding your hand is so innocent and if it helps you not pinch your wrists or picking at your nails of course he’s gonna do it!! It’s his way of showing you he notices and cares 🖤

Regarding your self confidence, he’d definitely still bully you cause cmon 🙄 this is your guys love language and he knows you know it’s harmless, and the last thing he’d want to do is make you feel like he’s coddling you and suffocating you by not being silly with you the way he normally would

HOWEVER

If anyone else clowns on you whew please it is over for them

Like let’s say you meet the boys and you and hinata are clowning on each other?? Tsuki is NOT playing games LMAO like he’d definitely be like

😐😐 hinata I KNOW you’re not talking and you’d have to remind him in private that it’s ok he doesn’t care he will bully hinata any chance he gets

Okok real talk Tsukishima would think it’s so fucking cool you know how to speak more than one language!!! Not the type to necessarily be like let me hear it 🤠 but if you do speak another language around him he’s always like 🙂 wow, that was pretty cool

Ok also?? Both of you being introverts?? Tsuki is happy to the MAX

Like he just gets to come home to you and detox in his little home and sit with you on the couch and talk about your days and watch whatever you’re feeling and it’s just so recharging for him and he’s so grateful you’re perfectly ok with that :)

And finally, tell me he wouldn’t bully you for your height but also find it so so adorable 🙄‼️

Ahhhh!! Ok here is the acclaimed playlist I made for you!! I hope you enjoy it❣️

Ok I did my best to include your variety of music tastes in here!! But if there’s anything you’d like me to change please feel free to let me know and I will!!

Ahhhh I hope you like it, enjoy my descriptions below!

1. The Most Beautiful Thing - Bruno Major: ok so yes we’re starting this off with a dash of Tsuki angst, as much as I know he’d deny it he yearns for love. Like the idea of someone being so important they get his attention and devotion and they love him the same is sooo comforting to him! And sometimes he would daydream about it like :) I wonder when I’m gonna meet them, I wonder how, I can’t wait - but the way he would he embarrassed if anyone knew this - and when he DOES meet you it is not what he expected LMAO

2. 80’s makeout session - dacelynn:  OK SO HE MEETS YOU and is just like 👁👄👁 and it’s everything he dreamed of, if he was feeling irrational he might’ve even believed it was love at first sight but there’s one problem, the way Tsuki is be lowkey mad he wants your attention LMAO. Like you would meet and he would just look into your eyes and he feels his heart stop; and you’re so nice when you’re introducing yourself to him and your voice is so sweet and he can’t stop thinking about the way your curly hair is framing your face and he just oop 🤒 he got the love bug bad AND HED BE SO MAD cause like, he tries to only do things for himself! And that’s exactly why love was a daydream cause UGH HOW PATHETIC IS HE. He never tries impress anyone else cause he’s his biggest critic anyway, but suddenly he wants to be noticed by you and impress you and the way that would just irk him, but he cant help it 🤷‍♂️ sorry bout it Tsuki

3. IFHY (feat. Pharrell) - Tyler, The Creator: more on Tsuki being mad he likes you LMAO - I think what would push him to get over himself and how it’s kind of scary for him how much he likes you would be imagining what could happen if he DOESNT grow up and just let you know. The thought of you with somebody else? Yeah he don’t like that one bit and that’s when he knows he better suck it up and accept he’s got it for you hard

4. Make Me Your Queen - Declan McKenna: OK CALLING TSUKI SIMPS OUT- you’d want him so bad but he’s so bad at showing his interest!! So on your end it’d be soooo much pining and patience and a little bit desperate like PLS I jus wanna be your s/o man 😕 but don’t worry he likes you just as much, he’s just awful at showing that at first LMAO

5. Kiss Like A Woman - Mona: ok but once Tsuki accepts he’s got it bad, I don’t see him as someone who wastes time at. All. Like he’s like ok well she’s fucking great obviously if I like her cause I have great taste so it’s only a matter of time before someone else tries to get her attention, so I gotta act fast. However, he’s clueless so he’d think he’s being obvious but he’s not. Like he starts his habit of bringing you snacks and water on your study dates before they’re actually dates and you have no idea he likes you. And he thinks he’s being smooth like, how could you not know he likes you? But it’d be the end of your study session and you’re about to leave and he’s been wondering why it seems like maybe you’re not interested? He can’t tell so he’d just be like, “do you like me, too? Or am I making you uncomfortable? I’ve been waiting for you to let me know how you feel but you really haven’t said anything, so.” AND YOUD JUST BE LOOKING AT HIM LIKE 😳🧍🏻‍♀️ and you’re blushing hard so he’s like ok obviously she likes me? And he would kind of tilt his head in your direction and raise his eyebrows waiting for you to answer, cause he still wants to be sure. And you’d hold your books tighter to your chest and nod so fast. He’d walk over to you and kiss you on your cheek and be all, “see you tomorrow, idiot.” And walk off like a bad bitch, cause that was pretty smooth, but once his back is to you and his headphones are on while he’s walking away BOY IS BLUSHING HARDDDD CAUSE HE’S LIKE did I really just do that oh shit 🥴

6. A Sunday Kind Of Love - Etta James: when I mentioned Tsuki liked to think about love this is exactly what I mean. He just wants something so relaxed and devoted and when he gets that with you? WHEW he is not letting that go!!

7. Black Dog - Arlo Parks: ok so this song itself is more intense than for what I’m writing for it and what it inspired me BUT this is really how Tsuki feels when he sees you overworking yourself. He can’t stand to see you stress so much over something, especially if it’s school, and then see you push your own limits in the favor of others. It’d definitely be a day where you come to his house to study but when you guys get there instead of pulling out the stuff from his bag he just sets it down and walks over to you and pulls you into his chest. After holding you for a while, he pulls back and makes you look up at him with his hands on your cheeks and leans down to kiss your forehead. “Are you ok?” It’s such a simple question but it really hits home and it’s one of the first times you guys simultaneously realize how much you care for each other. And you’d just hug him tighter and he decides nap time holds a little priority over studying right now.

8. come out and play - Billie Eilish: as smooth as Tsukishima can be or as clueless as he is, he’s also a shy lover for sure. It will take him a while to be genuinely soft and let his walls down and be vulnerable and tell you how much he cares about you, he try’s to show it as best as he can cause it can be easier than looking into your pretty eyes that make him all nervous and choke on his words while he tries to tell you he loves you. So it’ll take some coaxing and you being patient, but he’ll get there eventually and become more confident with his declarations of love.

9. Pleaser - Wallows: more on Tsuki being shy LMAO he wants to tell you he loves you SO BAD but he just cannot make himself do it

10. I’m Glad There Is You - Julie London: ok you mentioned slow dancing in the kitchen type songs? Stop it this is the one - to me this is the introvert love anthem , perfect for you two right? Like you’d be playing music in the kitchen while you two are cooking and this song would come on and normally he’s not a person who shows his affection much but this song would just get to him? Like he almost wants to cry??? He just looks at you, and maybe you’re humming a little, he really can’t tell but he doesn’t care cause you’re just so bright and gorgeous and the more he hears the song, the more his heart is starting to swell thinking of you. And so he wouldn’t be able to help himself. He’d just come up behind you and lean down so his head his resting on top of yours and his arms are wrapped around you. He leans down a little farther and presses a soft but long kiss to your cheek and just whispers how he loves you and hugs you tight one more time before going back to his part of cooking dinner; as if that wasn’t the first time he was finally able to tell you that.

11. Linger In My Arms A Little Longer Baby - Peggy Lee: kitchen dancing music kitchen dancing music kitchen dancing music !! I feel like once Tsuki dances with you ONCE he’d be addicted 😶 like you just look so happy and it hits him in his gut in the best way and he’d kill to feel like that with you again 🖤

12. Sweet Creature - Harry Styles: stop I fucking love Harry styles when I say Tsuki sees you as his home I MEAN it, it doesn’t matter what happens between you two. Sure, like any couple you guys argue and it can be rough sometimes, problems can arise it’s natural. But Tsukishima would never be the type to say something he doesn’t mean or do anything to ruin the relationship, you’re his person and no matter how much you two argue he’d always be sure you know he loves you and you’re the most important thing to him, and you’re very aware of that.

13. I Think I Like It When It Rains - Willis: ok a little bit of angst! In those difficult moments, sure sometimes Tsuki does wish it was like how it was a while ago when the pining and awkwardness was still there and you would go home after studying and you’d both still be giddy and trying to calm yourselves down. Cause the pining and awkward feelings were easy to solve, but these problems are harder, they’re the ones you solve for the long haul. But once he takes a breather he knows this is so much more important and worth it, and he’s reminded of how much he really loves you.

14. I CHOOSE YOU - Adam Melchor: you really would be living in Tsukis mind rent free LMAO and while he was all grumpy at first at the fact he even wanted your attention he’s so happy now it’s so cute pls. He goes to the store and sees something you like?? Yeah he’s buying it. Hears a song you might like? He adds it to the playlist you guys share (yes you would have one from when you would study together all the time and you’ve just kept it and he always add songs to it still for you) all in all, you take up his mind 25/8 now and he’s accepted it with a smile on his face

15. this is how you fall in love - Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler: introvert love anthem #2, this is literally so cheesy and I hope it fits your taste but anyways!! Falling in love is just so easy for you guys, it’s the easiest thing Tsuki’s ever done, and he holds a lot of pride to that statement.

——————

that’s it!!! That’s the thing!! Gosh I really hope you like it !! Thank you for being so patient and kind to me again, and don’t forget to message me if you need a change

-🐇out

[apocalypseornaw]

Real Feelings

For the square *fake dating* on @girl-next-door-writes bingo

You pulled up to the newest construction site and parked next to Bobby’s truck. Him and Dean would be around here somewhere Ellen had tasked you with delivering the crew’s lunch order from the diner. You stepped out the truck then leaned back in to grab the box that held the food. When you heard someone call your name you nearly dropped the box. It was Micheal, your ex boyfriend who you’d been engaged to for a short time until he’d broken it off because in his words “This will never work out and it’ll cause less heartbreak now” you hadn’t seen him in a few years. 

You plastered a smile on your face as he moved to help you grab the box “Hi Michea! How have you been, what are you doing here?” he motioned around the lot “I’m here to meet with Dean and Bobby.They found a way to work around a design flaw I didn’t think about. What are you doing here?” you motioned to the box in your hand “Ellen, Bobby’s wife asked me to bring lunch” 

He smiled and waved a hand towards the trailers that held the temp offices “Then we’re headed in the same way. How’ve you been?” you nodded “Can’t complain, you?” he ran a hand across the back of his neck and you knew that as a tell he was nervous about something so when he started the next sentence with “Well actually I was going to call you” your stomach knotted. Why was he calling you? “Because?” you questioned so he grinned “I’m getting married. It’s a whole thing that’ll be up in the mountains. Charity, you remember Charity don’t you?” you nodded because yes you did in fact remember Charity. She was the greek goddess Micheal had met a few months after your split. She was gorgeous and sweet enough to meet sugar in her mouth. “Well she wanted to know if you’d like to come. Now it’ll not just be the wedding. My father is having a grand opening of the resort we’re using as well so there’ll be plenty of activities to do. You always did love the snow”

You walked up the steps next to him and knew your emotions were plainly written across your face because the next thing he added rather quickly was “And of course, if you’re seeing someone he can come along as well” you wracked your brain thinking of anyone you could use to keep from looking like you hadn’t gone this long without a lasting relationship considering he was getting married for real this time. “I’ll have to talk with him” you replied and could see his eyebrows go up slightly “Anyone I know?” you stepped into the door and as you did blurted out the only name that popped into your head “I’m actually seeing Dean” Micheal stopped in his tracks “Winchester?”  you breathed a sigh of relief to see Dean wasn’t in the office yet then nodded “Yeah about a year now” “Can’t say I’m surprised” he muttered and you were about to ask why when the door opened to Dean walking in.

“Hey baby!” you called moving to hug him then whispered in his ear “For the love of god go along with it. I’ll owe you” he gave you a look but pressed a quick kiss to your cheek “Hey to you too sweetheart” then nodded to Micheal “Hey man” you knew Dean was probably wondering what was really going on considering he was watching you as you laid his and Bobby’s food down then walked out to take the other food to the crew. Bobby had joined him and Micheal by then so Dean excused him by saying “Bobby I’m gonna walk Y/N. Make sure she’s wearing her hardhat this time” Bobby nodded then turned his attention back to the plans he was showing Micheal.

------

Once you and Dean were outside he cut his eyes at you and took one of the boxes out of your hand “So darling, when did we start seeing each other?” you grimaced then explained “I’m so sorry but he caught me by surprise. I didn’t know this was one of his dad’s builds then he’s talking about the fact that him and Charity are getting married and he’s inviting me and my boyfriend and honestly? With the exception of Bobby and Sam I don’t really hang out with that many guys besides you” you quickly explained the weekend Micheal and Charity had planned heading up to their big day.

He was silent for a few moments then shrugged “Is it paid?” “What?” you asked in confusion so he clarified “Is it paid? Like we show up and enjoy this brand spanking new resort in the mountains, get our food cooked for us. Our rooms cleaned for us and all we have to do in return is sit through your douchey ex getting married?” You nodded slowly and he smirked “I say let’s do it. I think it’d be fun and besides when’s the last time either of us had a vacation, let alone one we didn’t have to foot out an armload for?”

You opened your mouth then shut it just as quickly “Well I gotta go after I get this food to the crew but if you’re sure, tell him yes” he winked at you then took the other box from your hands “Go on and get back to Ellen because I fully expect my girl to have some new outfits before we show up to this destination wedding” you rolled your eyes at him then playfully swatted his ass “I’ll see what I can managed sugar”

------

The closer the weekend of the wedding got the more you wanted to back out. You and Micheal still had a lot of mutual friends and those mutual friends also knew Dean, Sam, Bobby and the entire bunch. There was bound to either be awkwardness or the horror of Micheal finding out you lied. Any time you bought the worry up to Dean he’d wave it off with the logic of “We know damn near everything about each other sweetheart. Hell you crashed at my place after you two split until we got you into your loft. We’re comfortable with casual touch. He’ll never know”

------

Before you knew it the wedding weekend had sprung up on you. You were curled up in the passenger seat of Dean’s truck as he drove following the directions Micheal and Charity had included in with every invitation. Normally he’d drive his impala but considering this was a trip into the mountains you both decided it would be better to take the truck.

“So do you know about our room situation?” he asked, breaking the silence in the cab of the truck. You shrugged “Charity got a headcount and they blocked off that many rooms. Considering they think we’re a couple you’re fine sharing with me aren’t you?” “Of course, sweetheart. Even if you do snore” he teased with a wink. You shook your head and reached up to turn the radio up slightly and smiled when he started to sing along with the song “Bad moon rising” 

------

“Wake up Y/N. We’re here” Dean called shaking your leg closest to him. You sat up and nearly told him to turn the truck around. Yes the resort was gorgeous but the reality of going to your ex-fiance’s wedding was starting to set in. Dean reached across the console and grabbed your hand “Hey fake boyfriend or not I’m really here to back you up. I won’t leave your side all weekend unless you tell me to ok?” you managed a smile then questioned “What if you see a hot bridesmaid?” he shrugged “I’ll get their number for later” “DEAN!” you scolded causing him to crack up laughing “See? Changed your mood that quick” You rolled your eyes but grabbed your bag and followed him once he was parked.

The interior of the resort had a nice almost rustic feel to it. A large fireplace was roaring in the center of the lobby and you grabbed Dean’s arm to pull him along with you to check it out. “You’re already smiling. It won’t be that bad” you turned to tell him that five minutes in versus an entire weekend was too different things but stopped when you heard an accented voice call both of your names. You looked up to see Benny and his sister Elizabeth walking towards you. “Benny” you greeted with a smile as the two of you hugged. Once you pulled away from him you greeted Elizabeth in much the same fashion. 

“So Dean, brother I hear you finally managed to wrangle this one” Benny asked with a smirk. Your eyes widened at his wording..what did he mean by finally? You chose not to ask considering you’d told Micheal the two of you had been together for nearly a year. Dean, ever the fast talker, simply slid an arm around your waist and winked at Benny “Things worth having take time don’t they?” you could feel a blush threatening to warm your cheeks and shot Elizabeth a grateful smile when she said “Leave her be boys. Y/N we need to catch up but for now I’ll drag my brother away so the two of you can get checked in and squared away”

After the two of them had walked off you looked at Dean who still had his arm around you holding you close to his side “What did Benny mean?” he shrugged “Who knows with Benny?” then moved to grab your bags then nodded towards the front desk “Let’s get checked in”

------

Your room was on the third floor so you took the nearest elevator up and thankfully it was empty. You leaned your head back against the wall then rolled it over to look at Dean silently cursing yourself for ever putting the two of you in this situation. You weren’t exactly ugly but damn the man looked like a walking wet dream when he was doing the most mundane tasks and you knew for a fact the suit he had brought for the ceremony was a Tom Ford black herringbone three piece. You’d seen him in it twice before and every woman and a good amount of the men in the nearest vicinity looked like they’d throw themselves under a bus to have a chance to see him without it and now here you were having to play it off like you had. “You’re thinking loud enough to give me a migraine” he spoke pushing off the wall when the elevator came to a stop. You shrugged “Just thinking how many more people are we gonna know that’s here, meaning how many are gonna ask about us being together after this weekend” “Let’s enjoy this weekend then we’ll worry about the rest” he replied with a wink motioning for you to step off first when the doors opened.

You checked the room numbers until you got to yours. You slid the key card in then stepped inside opening the door further for Dean since he’d insisted to carry your bags too because in his words “Yes you are more than capable but dammit I am a loving fake boyfriend”  You were in the living room area of the suit and it was nice, had a small couch against one wall with two overstuffed chairs sitting across the room next to a fireplace and a large tv on one wall. Dean let out a low whistle and sat your bags down in front of the couch “So far, so good. Want to check out the bedroom?” you ignored the warmth in your face to follow him to the bedroom door and cursed under your breath when you saw the kingsize bed. “I’ll um take the couch” you offered but he raised an eyebrow “We’re adults Y/N. I think we can share a bed. Besides this thing is big enough we won’t even be near each other unless we want to” he added a smirk at the end and you rolled your eyes feeling some of your nerves start to melt away at the simple fact of Dean being Dean.

 “Fine but you snore and I’ll put a pillow over your face” he nodded “Fair enough” then grabbed your hand “Get a thicker jacket on. We’re gonna go check out the grounds” you didn’t have time to argue before he was pulling your jacket out of one of your bags and slipping it onto your arms. 

------

The two of you spent a few hours simply walking the different paths around the resort. Dean was always big on the outdoors and you loved the snow so it was something that you both found joy in. You ended up taking several photos of wildlife including a squirrel that took a liking to Dean.

When the sun started to shift in the sky you tried and failed to hide a shiver from Dean. He was immediately pulling his gloves off and holding them out to you. “I think that’s our clue to head back” you slid the gloves on then nodded “Yeah”

You walked along next to him and was a bit surprised when he reached out to lace his fingers in with yours. You glanced down at your intertwined hands and he shrugged “That way we keep both of our hands halfway defrosted” you bit your lip to try to hide the smile you had at the action. What the hell were you doing to yourself? You had simply tried to duck out of an awkward conversation with an ex and were now risking one of the closest friendships you had.

Your attention was drawn by Elizabeth’s voice. You looked up about the time the brunette nearly barreled into you “Liz! Calm down honey. What is it?” you questioned. She cut her eyes at Dean then smiled sweetly “Stand right there Dean. I won’t keep her long” Dean had a curious look but nodded nonetheless.

You let her pull you a couple feet from Dean before asking “What is going on?” “Lisa is here” you felt your heart hit your feet at that. Lisa was Dean’s ex and the closest he’d ever gotten to marriage. She’d played him dirty though by using her son Ben as a bargaining chip. Once Ben got old enough to go off to school she’d lost that chip but you knew Dean’s feelings for her had in fact been very real. “Oh” you said softly which caused Elizabeth to shake your arms roughly “Oh? Oh as in you aren’t worried or oh as in I should start a fight with her sister just to give you an excuse to knock her out?” You let out a surprised laugh at her offer then said “Oh as in I’m not worried” you looked over your shoulder at Dean who waved when he saw he had your attention then added softly “Not very worried anyways”

-----

Elizabeth went in search of Benny so you and Dean headed back inside. He was asking if you wanted to hit the dining area or just get room service. You wanted to go ahead and tell him Lisa was here but if everything was going to implode you might as well enjoy a little before it did right? “I’m thinking room service and maybe some horror movies?” you suggested as the two of you walked towards the elevators. He pulled you into his side and left a kiss on your temple “That’s my girl!”

------

You left ordering the food up to Dean while you took a shower and you started to wonder if you should regret that decision when you walked into the living room. He had a fire going and there were plates on nearly every surface. “Are we barricading ourselves in here? Did the apocalypse start while I was in the shower and if so can I claim Daryl?” He looked up from scrolling through the movie options to laugh humorlessly “First off I’m like so much better looking than him and I just decided that we’d try a little bit of everything in case the rest of the weekend gets to be too much and your stomach does that nervous thing where you can’t eat without getting queasy” 

Damn he remembered that? Guess it shouldn’t surprise you but even Micheal had never paid too much mind to that. “Well in that case pick the first movie and let’s get this marathon started”

------

Dean knew you’d never make it through the entire list of movies the two of you had picked. Halfway through the Texas chainsaw massacre you were curled up next to him with your head laid over on his shoulder. He missed times like this. After you and Micheal had first split and you stayed with him this was a weekly occurrence. The two of you would stay up most saturday nights, watching the cheesiest horror movies and eating the weirdest take out you could.  You’d always fall asleep on him and he would always just get comfortable and sleep on the couch as well to have you close to him. His feelings for you had already been apparent by the time him and Lisa finally called it quits but you’d been with Micheal. After the breakup he hadn’t wanted to be seen as trying to take advantage so he was content with the best friend role. He’d date and see you date but would always hold his breath when you’d hit the couple weeks mark with whatever idiot you’d be currently seeing in hopes you’d kick the guy to the curb and you always did. 

When this weekend had come up you’d expected him to laugh at the idea but he’d jumped at. Maybe if he had some alone time with you in a place as gorgeous as this he could finally put words to his feelings and maybe just maybe you felt the same.

------

Waking up on the couch with Dean’s arms around you felt like a dream until you remembered just why the two of you were here and what Elizabeth had told you the night before. You turned to look up at him and smiled seeing his face so relaxed. His mouth was open just slightly and his hair was tousled from moving around in his sleep. You weren’t sure how long you’d been staring at him when a smirk slipped onto his face “Staring is a little creepy honey” you rolled your eyes and slowly started to sit up “I wasn’t staring I was simply making sure you weren’t drooling on me”

He opened one eye and smiled at you “Are you asking me to get bodily fluid on you?” “I swear to christ Dean!” you scolded but he started laughing and pulled you back down next to him “Shh go back to sleep. Breakfast runs for another two hours and there’s no wedding stuff until the snowmobile ride around one then the dinner at seven” You cut your eyes up at him and took a deep breath before saying “I need to tell you why Elizabeth found me last night”

He sat up slowly opening both eyes and yawned “I’m guessing not just to get help burying Benny in snow?” you shook your head “Um well you know a lot of our friend groups and Micheal’s are intertwined” he nodded so you finally bit the bullet “Lisa is here” “Oh” he stood up off the couch rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. There were too many emotions playing through his eyes to pick out just one so you took the opportunity to say “I’m gonna grab a shower. Charity asked for some of the female guests to come pick out corsages so none of us are left without flowers so I’m going to meet up with Liz to do that”

You quickly walked out the room before Dean could see the look in your eyes at his reaction upon hearing Lisa was at the resort. Well at least thursday had been fun. You simply had today and tomorrow to get through then sunday you could head home.

------

By the time you got out the shower Dean was sitting on the foot of the bed with his toiletry bag next to him so he could shower next. He glanced up when you walked out and smiled “So are you and Liz gonna meet up with me and Benny for breakfast or are we left up to our own devices?” you shrugged and grabbed your thinner jacket since you planned to be indoors until the snowmobiling later. “Why don’t you two go without us and we’ll meet up later?” “You don’t think I’m gonna leave you high and dry just because Lisa is here..do you?” you opened your mouth to reply but someone was on your side because Elizabeth chose that moment to text your phone “I’m outside your room babe” you showed him the phone and he nodded “Find me after you pick flowers..please?” you smiled “Of course” then nearly ran out the room.

------

You forced a smile onto your face as you followed Elizabeth into the room where Charity had the florists set up. You really did think it was a cute idea that she didn’t want any woman in attendance to be without flowers even though it was her big day.

You stopped the moment you stepped into the room and spotted Lisa talking to Charity’s sister Alice. “Well look what the cat dragged in” Elizabeth muttered under her breath and you bit your lip to hide the smile “Let’s just check in with Charity, pick our flowers and get the hell out of here” she nodded looping her arm in with yours. The two of you headed for the table lined with daisies,sunflowers and lilies. “What were you thinking?” she asked, picking up one of the flowers off the table. You shrugged “Something simple Liz, my dress is dark blue and Dean’s suit is black” “Is it the three piece Tom Ford number? He always did look amazing in that?” Lisa’s voice came from behind you and you felt your spine stiffen at her voice.

Elizabeth cut her eyes at you as you turned to face Lisa with a smile on your face “Matter of fact it is. Nice to see you again Lisa. How’s Ben?” her smile faltered slightly at your mention of him. “He’s doing fine, can I ask you one thing?” you nodded slowly “Even if I say no you’re gonna talk anyways so I might as well agree to it to keep things civil for Charity and Micheal’s sake”

You saw Elizabeth move out the corner of your eye coming to stand directly next to you and you then realized Lisa’s sister Tabitha had come to stand behind her. You weren’t doing this. You and Micheal had ended on a good note, Charity was a good person and you were going to have to be pushed really far to act stupid during their weekend. “Were you screwing him when I was with him or did you just wait until Micheal woke up about you?” “You know what Lisa..” Elizabeth started but was stopped by Alice stepping between you and Lisa “Braeden, Y/N is a guest here same as you are. If the two of you have issues with each other we have a big resort here take it outside or get over it”

You stared Lisa down as you told Alice “I have no problem. I’m here for Micheal and Charity. They invited me” Lisa plastered one of those smiles that could only be described as how Lucifer smiled at Eve in the garden “No issue from me either” Alice nodded and smiled at you “How have you been Y/N? Did you and Elizabeth find the flowers you wanted?” you shook your head still looking at Lisa over her shoulder. She gently touched your elbow and led you back to one of the tables. “Tell me what colors you and Dean are wearing and I’m sure we’ll find something that looks amazing. You too Elizabeth”

------

After you and Elizabeth were through picking flowers she asked if you wanted to grab breakfast. “Just the two of us?” you offered and she shrugged “Up to you. We can find your honey and my brother if you want or we can just catch up?” you smiled “I like the idea of catching up. Dean and Benny are big boys. They can be left alone for a little while” she smiled in return and grabbed your arm “Well then come on ma’am”

-------

You were sipping on your coffee when Lisa walked by your table. She was still staring you down but you refused to do anything to mess up a friend’s wedding weekend. “You know I’m starting to think she’s more jealous of Dean having you then you having Dean” Elizabeth scoffed and you coughed around your coffee from the laugh that pulled from your lips. “I really need to get down to Louisiana more often. I forgot just how much fun you Lafittes’ are” She winked at you over her own coffee cup “Especially around Mardi Gras”

You were about to leave to go change for the snowmobile ride when a plate was set down on the side of yours and Elizabeth’s table. You cut your eyes up at the person who’d sat it down and it was Tabitha. “Lisa said since you enjoy her leftovers so much she figured you may want more” you took a deep breath then stood to face her eye to eye “Tell Lisa if she has an issue with me she needs to be woman enough to deal with it when it’s not conflicting with other plans. Now she want to hit me up next weekend? I’ll gladly whip her ass” you heard Elizabeth snicker under her breath and Tabitha looked scandalized “Are you even with him? I mean you’re not really his type” 

Elizabeth was to her feet in a flash “You little..” but you stopped her with a hand then smiled at Tabitha “What? Not manipulative enough?” with that she seemed dumbfounded so you turned back to Elizabeth “Let’s go get changed”

------

Elizabeth’s room was on the same floor as yours and Deans so the plan was to change then meet up at the elevator unless one of you ran into one of the guys first. You unlocked the door and stepped into your room breathing a sigh of relief to see Dean was in fact not there but your phone went off with a text from him “Dammit we have looked everywhere for you two. Where did you get off to?” you rolled your eyes and sent back “I’m lost come find me” before laying the phone down to dig out different clothes.

You were pulling your boots on when you heard the door of the room open then shut followed by Dean calling your name. “In here!” you hollered and he poked his head around the door holding his phone up  “That has never been funny. Elizabeth told Benny where you were” “Snitch” you mumbled standing to grab your jacket. You could feel him watching you and cursed under your breath when he asked “What’s wrong?” you shrugged and tried to walk past him but he grabbed your arm “Come on darlin. I know that look something is up” you nodded “Yeah your ex is a fucking bitch and needs to be glad that we’re at a mutual friend’s wedding” “What did she do?” he asked dropping your arm like the mere touch had burnt “Everything from saying how good you’ve always looked in that one suit to asking me if I was screwing you when the two of you were together to sending her sister over to mine and Elizabeth’s table to give me her leftovers from breakfast followed up by reminding me I’m not your type” when you were met with silence you laughed humorlessly “I think I’ll get Benny to come grab my bags and just stay with Elizabeth the rest of the weekend. We can tell everyone we split and if need be I’ll pay their gas to swing through to take me home on their way” “You don’t have to do that” he offered but you’d already turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears in your eyes “Yeah. I do because this was the stupidest idea I’ve ever had” you grabbed your jacket and pushed past him out the room.

You nearly mowed over poor Benny who reached out to steady you “Woah there. Where you headed like that?” you figured might as well bite half the bullet at least “We just broke up will you bring my bags to Liz’s room?” he seemed more than a little confused but nodded “Want me to smack some sense into him?” you shook your head with a watery smile “It was bound to happen. I’m not really his type” then walked away from him to find Elizabeth.

------

You ended up dipping out of the snowmobile ride. You told Charity you were having a bit of motion sickness and bless her she’d gotten one of the staff to bring you some medicine.

You and Elizabeth had decided on one of the nature walks instead. “So what happened?” she asked and you shook your head “I told him what happened with Lisa. He didn’t respond” “I’m sorry honey” she replied pulling you into her side with one arm. You shrugged “Was bound to happen anyways”

When you finally pulled your phone out after the two of you had been wandering the trails for nearly two hours you had fifteen texts from Dean and even a few from Sam and Eileen wanting to know why their brother/brother in law was texting them to get them to text you to text him. Confusing huh?

“Maybe he’s sorry?” Elizabeth offered but you shook your head “I’m not holding him up. Who knows maybe Lisa is right. Maybe he does still want her” the words themselves felt like a hot knife twisting in your gut but you weren’t going to let it show. You could get through this and avoid Dean as much as possible until the sting went away. 

------

At dinner you told Elizabeth you weren’t feeling well but talked her into going to dinner well after you made her promise to not blow up at Dean, Lisa or Tabitha. You left her with Benny in hopes he would see that she kept that promise then headed up to her room.

When you opened the door Benny had laid your suitcase and smaller bag on the couch. You called room service to get some food and to see if you could get an extra pillow and blanket so you didn’t have to steal one off her bed.

By the time Elizabeth got up to the room you had already eaten and showered and was curled up on the couch watching a movie. She smiled at you the moment she walked in the door “He’s clearly upset” you sighed and patted the cushion next to you “You’re welcome to come watch Liz but I don’t wanna talk about Dean” she nodded “Fair enough” and kicked off her shoes to come join you.

------

“I fucked up man” Dean told Benny with a shake of his head. “You think? Man you’ve been telling me for how long how you feel about that girl then you what? Can’t even manage to say fuck her about your ex?” Dean shrugged because he honestly had no idea why he hadn’t said anything about it when you told him of the confrontations with Lisa. “How do I fix it?” he asked and Benny laughed “Beg? Then beg some more?” “You know what Benny? You’re such a help”

Lisa and Tabitha walked into the bar about that time and Benny bumped Dean’s arm forcing him to look up right before Lisa walked over to them. “Dean, I hear you got tired of Y/N already. Want a real woman again?” Benny rolled his eyes at her words then cut his eyes at Dean. As much as he liked him he liked you too and if Dean wouldn’t speak up on your behalf he damn sure was going to. “Real woman Lisa? You mean a liar, manipulator and cheater? Y/N has been one of my closest friends for as long as I can remember. When I needed her she was there, when Sammy, Bobby, Ellen hell anybody needed her she was there. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. She fights for those she cares about, she takes care of everyone she can. She’s strong but still soft and I love her” 

Benny’s eyes widened at Dean’s confession and Lisa looked like she swallowed a frog “You love that?” Dean stood off the stool at her words and smiled “Sweetheart there was never anyone but her”

------

You and Elizabeth were wandering around before the ceremony. You were dressed complete with flowers. The people loitering around the lobby looked like they belonged in one magazine or another at a newsstands. You spotted Alice and walked towards her with a smile “How’s Charity?” she laughed nervously “Scared?” “She’ll be fine. Your dad walking her?” she nodded so you added “Just tell him to have a good grip on her arm just in case and tell her to keep her head high. She’s beautiful and we’re all here for her” She smiled “Thanks Y/N” “Anytime”

Elizabeth had watched you talk to Alice and when you got back to her side she asked “How are you that good talking about your ex-fiance’s soon to be wife?” you shrugged “hindsight twenty twenty? Me and Micheal didn’t belong together. He just figured it out before I did” She nodded slightly “So who do you belong with?” 

You could feel your cheeks threaten to warm as you thought about Dean. The way he made you feel when you’d wake up next to him or how he always went out of his way to make you laugh. How he always took care of everyone around him but resisted when it came to allowing someone to take care of him because he still wasn’t used to it. You were in love with him and had now possibly lost even his friendship. “Who I want I can’t have” you finally said and she asked “Why not?” “He doesn’t want me” you replied but froze when you heard Dean’s voice behind you “Are you sure about that? Because really if a guy has a shot at you and doesn’t take it he needs his ass kicked”

You looked back at Elizabeth but she was grinning at Benny “Oh dear brother of mine! Let’s go check out those nifty little stands they have set up near the doors!” you watched the two of them disappear then looked back at Dean “I never should’ve asked you to pretend this weekend” he nodded then smiled “And I should’ve admitted the reason I agreed was to get to spend some time with you so maybe I could figure out if you feel the same way about me that I do about you. Me and Lisa we never would’ve worked for the same reason you and Micheal never would’ve worked. I found who I want to be with and it’s you” “Dean please tell me you aren’t screwing with me right now” you whispered grateful the two of you had moved to the edge of the room where no one could overhear. “I’ve never been more serious about anything” you patted at the tears threatening to spill from your eyes “Christ I’m glad Liz had waterproof mascara” he bit back a laugh and motioned to your face “Those good tears?” you nodded “If you’re serious come kiss me Winchester” a smirk slipped onto his face “Don’t have to tell me twice” 

@brilovesdeanwinchester @akshi8278 @bolontiku

@girl-next-door-writes

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #12

Feel free to message me about possible corrections, and please consider supporting the creators by purchasing digital copies of the official releases: Novel || Manga || Fanbook. In case anyone is feeling generous: Ko-fi | PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

← Previous || Index || Next →

Suit Story

If you went through Ginza’s Main Street from 7-chome to 1-chome, the change in the city’s atmosphere would shock you. Bulgari, Cartier, Louis Vuitton, Chanel. Felt like you could play shiritori with these high-class brand names. It was a fun neighborhood to stroll around during Christmas season, as all the stores would come up with elaborate plans for the decorative lights, but it was currently autumn. The store most closely related to me in these vicinities was the long-established stationery store where I went to buy stationery. It was, however...

“Please raise your arms a little more.”

“All right.”

“Pull your chin back a bit. Yeah, that’s great.”

“Haah. Is this really right?”

“Of course. Might be hard, but please do relax.”

For whatever reason, I was across the street from the stationery store, practically in front of it, on the second floor of a branded men’s fashion store originally from England. On the walls of this mysterious-gentleman-themed space, which housed a bar counter and even a huge aquarium, there were clusters of business suits, pants and waistcoats with basting threads attached to them in conspicuous spots.

It was a place for taking measurements for custom-made stuff.

I couldn’t get over the feeling that this was some kind of mistake. Wasn’t this the stationery store? The place where you could buy vanilla-colored envelopes for 30 yen each? Or illustrated writing paper with seasonal vibes, or pens.

“Seigi, you are too nervous.”

“Nakata-san is such an imp, but so are you.”

Leaning against the bar counter, Richard shrugged his shoulders, indicating possibility.

Today was Thursday. Having been called by Richard, who said he wanted to ask me to do some odd job, I went over to the front of Etranger, and then we came to this store in the green jaguar. Just when I thought he was gonna make me hang with him for shopping, the man on the driver seat hastily took out his phone, showing me a video letter from my dad, Nakata-san.

“Seigi, congrats on your graduation. I wanted to go suit shopping with you, but I’m in Jakarta, so I’ll be borrowing Richard-san’s assistance for that. Seems like people are getting them custom-made lately. Make sure to buy a good one. Well, see ya.”

Richard had watched over me in the passenger seat as my eyes got wet, but the tears drew back in when we stepped into the store.

While talking lightheartedly about the difference between English and Italian suits, the young clerk, who wasn’t all too apart from me in age, smoothly took my body measurements with a measuring tape and showed me countless textures.

“You can also choose the lining. What should we do about the pockets?”

When I started getting dizzy, said man, who was like a page of suits, began giving me suggestions from behind. I had nowhere to run. I was really going to have my suit made here. As I picked a charcoal-gray suit with blue lining, Richard quickly told me that tanzanite cuffs would look very nice in it. Of course, I was thinking the exact same thing.

By the moment that the Onii-san finished the measuring and disappeared into the back of the store to take notes, I heaved a deep sigh. “This kinda stuff’s been happening a lot lately. All I ever do is receive.”

When I said that, Richard laughed, giggles ringing up his throat.

Richard had two types of smiles, and whenever he raised his voice while laughing, if I refused to back down, he’d often give me a word of advice of some sort. When it was a silent smile, I’d feel like he was telling me in some way to “reflect about myself”, which would make me a bit anxious, but I liked both.

Walking up next to me as I stood in front of the mirror, Richard grinned. “It is no longer guaranteed that your body will grow out of your clothes. Isn’t it fun to sometimes purchase slightly larger clothes and try to wait for your body’s growth?”

“Feeling like this talk doesn’t have the ‘sleep well and drink milk’ kinda nuance to it.”

The reply was a smile. How strange. Richard’s face was right at my left side, but the smile in the mirror was looking directly at me. Clad in a double-button slender silhouette suit, his figure was perfect no matter from what angle I looked at it, like an extraordinarily fine jewel, so my own figure as I tensed up beside him appeared even weirder.

“Hey, Richard, I kinda have the feeling that suits are like the base metals of jewelry.”

“Are you referring to the foundation parts of rings, earrings and such?”

I nodded. The base metal was the metal part that formed the foundation for attaching gemstones to jewelry. In stores, people would often memorize the materials and call them by their names, such as gold base metal or platinum base metal.

It was a part that never played the leading role in Etranger, which handled accessories with gemstones on them. But it’d be hard to wear jewelry on the body without it, and it was also a part that allowed people to express their particularities regarding the materials, durability and design. Whether they would be prominent or not depended on the basis. Erm, this was probably what a jeweler from Kyoto that I was acquainted with would say. The contrary was also possible.

“Gotta psyche myself up. If I don’t become someone that won’t lose to this suit, I’d feel bad.”

“This is my personal opinion, but there is nothing more tiring to look at than a jewelry in which the gem and base metal are at rivalry with one another. What you should emphasize is the harmony. Just because you use the finest high-grade eggs and milk as ingredients, it does not mean you will create the best pudding – is that not the same thing?”

“Ah...”

When I replied that, indeed, high-end ingredients were often strongly in demand, the beautiful man nodded with an “exactly as you say”. By the looks of it, those were the sweets that he was into lately. I hadn’t been able to take time some for it at all due to being busy, but I decided to make pudding again one of these days and offer to him. Despite having a wallet that enabled him to eat as many high-grade desserts as he wanted, Richard would always be delighted anew no matter how many of them I made, which made me believe that, as one would expect, he had a talent for pleasing people. I was grateful for his existence.

“Both suits and jewelry are goods that exist for the sake of their owners. The initiative is clear from the start. You must handling it skillful and comfortably, not fight against it. That is why it is custom-made.”

“So you’re also ‘skillfully handling’ the clothes you’re wearing right now?”

“Evidently. Enough that I do not know anymore at what point it ends and I begin.” With that said, Richard sleekly patted his suit. I wanted to try saying that too someday.

We exchanged glances not through the mirror but directly.

When the clerk Onii-san came back, the measuring recommenced. I got kind of embarrassed as he praised me, saying I was well-relaxed.

   “Seigi-kun, good work! Wow, that suit looks really great on you.”

“Thanks, Tanimoto-san. Uh, this print on your furisode, could it be—”

“I was told it’s a modern type of print, but yep, it’s kinda like...”

“It looks like a bismuth crystal!”

With a face that said, “I know, right”, a dandy crease formed under her eyes, which were just a bit more on-the-mark than usual. Her bob-cut hair was the same as always, her cream-colored hakama paired with a yellow-green and dark blue furisode, which bore a mysterious geometric pattern print. On top of being cute, it was unique. She said it was rented, but I got emotional upon finding out there was a furisode that was so much like her.

As for me, I was wearing a double-button English suit that fit my body extremely well. It was a little embarrassing, but the creatures called college boys were more or less the same kind of individuals as myself, so they weren’t too mindful of their male friends’ clothes. Only one of them, who had found employment in the apparel industry, said that “the suit Nakata’s wearing is so nice”.

It was the graduation ceremony of Kasaba University. We gathered in the excessively large auditorium for all but an instant, and once we had our diplomas in hand, it was the beginning of a rapid shooting party, where we took pictures with our preferred friends in spaces near the auditorium. Tanimoto-san came running over to the spot near the central library, where we had decided to meet up.

“Seigi-kun, really, congrats. Things might get hard from now on, but if it’s you, everything will definitely be okay.”

“Thank you. I’ll do my best. I don’t think I’m that big of a deal, though...”

“That’s not true. I know very well how awesome you are.”

I played around a little and bowed my head, also congratulating Tanimoto-san for her graduation, she laughed with a “huhuhu”, looking happy.

She had passed in teaching and she would officially be a middle school science teacher starting this April. She fulfilled the dream that she had told me about when we were in our second year of undergrad. So cool. She had laughed when I said I wanted to take her classes if it were ever possible, but now I knew her video communication address, so it might be that I could actually get to attend her lectures at least once. Even if I were no longer living in Japan.

“Tanimoto-san, the school you’re assigned to is...”

“In Okayama Prefecture. It’s famous for the Katsuta Group of vicarya fossils. Compared to you, it’s next-door.”

In a few days, my address would change from Japan to Sri Lanka. I was going to be a jeweler apprentice. I had been told that I would often have to move around in rough dress, so sure enough, I was going to dedicate myself to wearing formal stuff for the time being. It was a bit of a waste, but Nakata-san and Richard had probably given me a chance to wear this kind of thing because they knew about that.

I could hear a voice in the distance calling, “Shouko~”. It was apparently a friend of Tanimoto-san’s. She waved at them in response.

“Seigi-kun, y’know... I think I was very lucky to meet you in this university. Literally thank you. Thanks to you, university was always fun.”

“Those are all my lines. But Tanimoto-san, I only ever gave you trouble.”

“If you’re gonna say that, same goes for me. I feel like you’ve granted me many opportunities. Seriously, thank you.”

When she smiled, saying she was going to do her best, she looked really cute. Neither of us had any familiarity with Okayama, but surely, she would actively pave the way with her own strength no matter where she was. And on her days off, she would go out to the Katsuta Group to dig up fossils.

“From now on too, if there’s anything I can help you with, I want you to tell me. I’ll do anything. If you run into any weirdo, I’ll get on a plane and come give them a beating.”

“Me too; if anyone ever messes up with you, Seigi-kun, I’ll take my crack hammer and go finish them off. Look forward to it. Ah, Aki told me that a sniper rifle suits me better, apparently?”

“I-I wonder.”

After that, we talked for a while, seated on an inconspicuous bench, and when it was finally time, she told me to at least take care of my body, offering me her hand. I nodded and squeezed it back. Her hand was small but very strong.

“Take care of your body, at the very least. May the blessings of the stones fall upon you.”

“Thank you. You too.”

We bowed deeply, taking pictures with each other while we were at it, and once we were done with the commemorative photoshoot, in which the two of us kept a moderate distance from one another, we parted ways. Students here and there were hugging intensely and wailing, but neither she nor I were that type, and I didn’t think this would be farewell for a lifetime. We would definitely get to see each other from now on too.

However, this was our last time seeing each other while we were students. After the handshake, my angel waved her hand with a “see you”, even more brightly than an actual angel.

Later on, having finished looking around for the friends that I could call friends and going on a tour to tell them “thank you for everything until now”, lastly, I sent a brief text. Not to Richard. To Nakata-san and Hiromi.

“I was able to graduate from university without problems. Thank you very much, truly. I will be in your care from now on too.”

Rather than a greeting, it turned into a notice to announce my renewed determination. The stylish suit indeed gave off an extraordinary feeling of fittingness, but I couldn’t think I was fully used to it. Obviously. It finished being made just a while ago. It would start from here. If it would take on my shape the more I wore it, then I would make sure to wear it steadily to my own liking.

What mattered was the harmony, he had said.

While smoothly stroking the suit, which I still couldn’t deem as anything other than formal wear, as if I were stroking my favorite gemstone, I seared the contrast of cherry blossom petals against the blue sky into my eyes.

[fellulahh]

Lucifer x MC x Satan fic - Part 3/???

(In case you haven’t realised, we still haven’t thought of a name for this yet)

Find Parts 1-2 here!

-

Glancing one last time at MC, he smiled sadly as he watched her lifeless body sink into his bed and snuggle his pillow.

“Goodnight MC...”

-

Shifting beneath an unfamiliar duvet, MC slowly opened her eyes and sat up. She was surprised to see that she wasn’t in her own room but soon remembered why. Immediately she began loathing herself after realising she’d gotten herself into such a state that she needed taking care of by Satan.

But then she remembered why she had gotten into that state in the first place; Lucifer. Flopping back onto the bed, she let out a deep sigh. ‘So it wasn’t a dream then...’ she thought to herself as her heart sunk.

Glancing at the alarm clock by Satan’s bed, MC was surprised to see how early it was. And then her mind wandered to her carer: where on Earth was the blonde haired demon? Scanning the room, MC’s face softened when her eyes fell on the armchair near the door.

With his head thrown back, Satan was snoring ever so softly. MC couldn’t help but smile at the sight; he obviously hadn’t meant to fall asleep last night because his book was still open on his chest while one hand loosely gripped the edge. MC savoured the moment as she gazed at him in awe. Satan didn’t have to take care of her but he did anyway. If it weren’t for him who knows what MC might have done while intoxicated!

Getting lost staring at Satan, MC wasn’t prepared for him to wake up. Stirring in his seat, he scrunched his nose as he fell out of unconsciousness. He let out a small groan as he sat up straight in his chair; his book falling to the floor. Opening his eyes, he adjusted to the light before noticing MC across the room.

“Good morning.” He spoke in a hoarse voice as he stretched, “did you sleep well?”

“Yeah...I did.” She breathed, blushing slightly from embarrassment, “did you?”

“You mean was I comfortable sleeping in this stiff armchair? Of course I didn’t.” He chuckled, struggling to stand up.

“I’m so sorry Satan.” She apologised, feeling flustered.

“Don’t, I’m just glad to see you’re doing better this morning.” He spoke, picking up the book from the floor, “you were pretty upset last night.”

“I guess I just wasn’t prepared to hear what I did.” She shrugged with a disappointed expression. Glancing down at her top, she noticed the red stain splattered across her front. “I really made a mess, didn’t I?” She spoke quietly.

“And that is exactly why I got these out ready for you.” Satan chirped up, walking toward the bed to show MC the pile of clothes he’d left out for her.

“These aren’t mine?” She giggled slightly, picking up the unfamiliar shirt in her hands.

“No, they’re mine.” Satan nodded, “your room is all on the other side of the house and anyway, I see no harm in you borrowing some of my clothes.”

MC smiled at Satan, appreciating his kindness. “Thank you.” She whispered, “I’m really grateful for all that you’ve done for me - I’m sorry that I stole your bed.”

“You didn’t steal it, MC. I offered it to you!” He chuckled, gazing at her with warm eyes.

The pair lingered for a moment as they welcomed the comfortable silence.

“Did you want to perhaps go and grab a coffee somewhere? You look like you could use someone to talk to.” He offered, hoping she’d accept.

“Yeah, I’d like that. It’d be nice to get away from here - even if it is for a couple of hours.” She nodded, “thanks Satan.”

“Stop thanking me, MC.” He insisted, getting up from the bed, “I’ll leave you to get ready - I’ll wait for you in the lounge if you like?”

“Sounds good.” She smiled.

Returning her expression, Satan then made his way to the door; taking a deep breath as he did so. He was just being a good friend, right? He wasn’t taking MC’s state of vulnerability for a chance to swoop in was he?

Puzzled, he made his way through the house as his mind continued to wander. As he walked down the stairs, his expression grew cold after seeing Lucifer at the bottom. Although he had his usual stern face, there was also something else to him that morning. There was an aroma about him; Satan could sense Lucifer’s troubled mind.

“Satan.” Lucifer nodded when he noticed the blonde haired demon.

That was all he said. Usually he’d question the fourth eldest on his studies at RAD and how he needed to keep on top of his assignments but today there was nothing.

‘Does he actually feel bad for hurting MC?’ He thought to himself as he narrowed his eyes at the eldest brother.

“Lucifer.” He breathed, making his way past.

Just before he could leave the room, the black haired demon spoke up again. “Have you seen MC this morning? I was hoping I could speak with her.”

Turning around cautiously, Satan grew stiff. “Yeah, she just woke up. We’re going to grab a coffee together this morning.” He informed him.

“You are?” Lucifer questioned surprised before his face fell, “not to worry, I’ll speak with her later.”

Satan wanted to start hurling abuse at Lucifer. He yearned to scream in the eldest brothers face ‘what more could you have to say to her?! You’ve already broken her heart!’ But he managed to hold back.

“You ready?” A new voice filled the room.

Both turning, Lucifer and Satan’s eyes trailed up the staircase where MC was stood at the top. She hadn’t noticed the eldest brother at first. However, after spotting him next to Satan, MC soon became sheepish as she slowly made her way down the stairs.

Satan could sense how awkward the atmosphere had just got in the room. Not wanting MC to suffer, he quickly held his hand out to her. “Come on - if we’re quick we can beat the queues.” He spoke quietly as he guided her to the door.

MC avoided Lucifer’s gaze. She could feel his eyes on her from the moment she first appeared. It took all of her might not to glance over at him; she knew if she did she’d probably start crying again.

Meanwhile, Lucifer’s breathing slowed as he watched Satan and MC leave the house. His shoulders tensed after recognising the shirt she was wearing; it was one of Satan’s.

‘Stop it.’ He told himself, ‘you can’t keep doing this’

Marching through the house, he shook his head as he let out a frustrated sigh. It was bad enough that he’d hurt MC, but to now see her being comforted by the likes of Satan? That made his blood boil.

But he only had himself to blame.

-

Let me know your thoughts below!

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Two. Keep the Tip

the scene is set in 1956, a young man moved to Hollywood to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. But with little money and a struggle to keep his apartment, he is approached by a man who offers him a job at Sweetland

SERIES MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAGLIST | chapter word count: 8.5k

chapter warnings: smoking, alcohol consumption, smut

TALK TO ME ABOUT CN! I would love to hear your thoughts!! <3

pls rb to share <3

True to his word, Harry came back the following day to start his official first day.

After a night of pondering and overthinking his decision, he came to the conclusion that it might be a fun journey along the way. He had no clue who he would meet, and he learned that he needed to make some connections if he wanted to continue acting. That’s what it was all about, right? Meet the right people and you’ll get your foot in the door.

It was hard always trying to get an audition or even a screen test. So, if this job, working at a candy shop and fucking people for money will help him, then he’ll take it. And besides, he needed to pay rent by the end of the week.

His dreams were high, he knew that. It was going to be a long process to get what he wants, and is he okay with that? For now, he is. Not everything will be handed to him on a silver platter, he knows that, and his looks could only get him so far if they think he’s a bad actor. But he wanted it bad. He’ll wait as long as possible to get what he wants, and if that means working at a candy shop before reaching his dreams, then it’ll be worth it in the end.

He took a deep breath as he stood in front of the store, putting out his cigarette for just a few puffs as he tried to calm himself. After a few minutes as nerves creeped up his skin, he fixed the knot of his sparkly top and put out his cigarette before walking in

“Ah, hey, kid. I’m glad you came back,” Daren said, puffing out smoke from his cigar once he saw Harry enter. He immediately walked beside him to put an arm around his shoulder. “Ready for this?” Harry didn’t say anything but nod. “Perfect. Just rearrange the containers for now, and chill out. Could feel you shaking with nerves. I’ll call you when it’s time,” Daren patted his shoulder, trying to get Harry to calm down.

“Okay,” Harry replied and Daren walked away. “Hey,” he called out, his boss turning around. “Thank you—for giving me a second chance.”

“You got it, kid,” Daren smiled, placing his cigar bag into his mouth. “It’d be a shame to let you walk away,” he said as Harry started reorganizing the containers.

It was nearing 4 p.m and it’s been some exhausting and slow hours. He’s watched his coworkers help customers bag their candy and he’s heard the customers say the famous phrase going on around here. All while, stocking and sorting the jars, he saw them walk out with a lady or man with their arm slung loosely around them as they gave them flirty smirks. He wondered if the customers were regulars because everyone was just way too comfortable for it to be their first time in the shop, unless people are just usually like that, which he admires.

But so far, Daren hadn’t called Harry to help a customer out; just let him stay in the back or on the sides as he heard Daren call the rest and not him. Throughout working, Harry thought that he probably forgot about him. Forgot about the kid who didn’t want to do their job right on their actual first day, so he was taking it easy on him. But Harry really needed the money, and he heard from Jimmy that he would make even more if a customer takes you away from work. But Harry’s grateful for even having a job that pays, but he would like to make more just so he knows he’s secure.

After feeling like his day was over, wiping down the counters and the spaces between the jars, Daren suddenly called him.

“Harry! Get over here,” he called out. Harry turned around and walked over to him, seeing Daren standing in front of the most gorgeous woman he’s seen in his life. “Harry will take care of you,” he told the lady before walking away.

“H-Hi. I’m Harry,” he introduced himself, stuttering a bit as he’s quite taken back at how beautiful you are. You were wearing a red tube top along with a skirt that went below your knees, and a big belt to secure your skirt. Your hair was in a low bun as it was sleek with no flyaways.

You blushed, sensing his nerves but also realizing that he’s quite attractive himself--too attractive as you were trying to focus on the candy rather than his face. You loved his outfit, thinking how good he pulled it off along with his effortless looking curly hair. His smile is what got to you, making your stomach flutter as he showed off his dimpled smile.

“Nice to meet you, Harry,” you replied, introducing yourself as well before roaming the aisles of candy.

“How can I help you? We have, uh, boxed candies or I can bag some up for you,” he said, following you. Your hand reached for the bags, but Harry beat you to it. “Oh! I’ll do the bags,” he said in a bit of a rushed tone.

Harry opened the candy bag a bit flustered as he didn’t expect you to as well. Your hands touched in the most delicate and innocent way, but were immediately pulled back from the unexpected touch. A soft smile was present on your face, and you looked up to find the same smile on Harry’s.

“Sorry about that. Didn’t know you were supposed to get the bag for me.”

“Yeah, we baggage everything for you here. Don’t have to lift that finger of yours.”

“Good to know,” you said slyly since you already knew as you just wanted to feel his hand against yours even if it was for a little bit.

“Uh, so what can I get you?” Harry asked.

“I’m out of lollipops, so those would be nice,” you told him, walking over to the container carrying all the lollipops.

“Any particular flavor?” Harry asked, opening the container.

“Particularly strawberry. Seven to be exact,” you said.

“Seven? Lucky number?” He raised his brows at you, picking specifically the strawberry lollies.

“Not really. Just need them to last me throughout the week,” you smiled at him, teeth and all. He instantly realized that you had the most beautiful smile he’s ever seen. The way it just fits so perfectly with your gleaming eyes is enough to make his heart flutter.

“Seven it is. Anything else?” You looked around the shop, trying to find something that’ll interest your sweet tooth. He saw you purse your lips as you looked around before you met eyes with him.

“By any chance… do you sell cloud nines here?” You asked softly, smirking a bit as you wanted the words only to be heard by Harry.

Harry’s eyes widened, not expecting to hear those words from you. He cleared his throat and pulled his collar, feeling like he couldn’t breathe or think straight. With a scratch to his head, he replied, “Yes. We do in fact. How about I ring you up first?”

“Sounds lovely.” You followed him to the register, taking out a $5 bill before handing it to him. “Keep the change,” you told him, seeing the lollies were only fifty cents.

“Thank you. That’s very generous of you,” he said, putting the rest of the change in the tip jar.

“You’re welcome. Shall we?” You smiled, and he nodded, the candy bag still in his hand as he walked around the counter and followed you outside to your car.

Fishing out for your keys in your purse, you stood in front of a pink Mercedes convertible, and Harry’s jaw dropped.

“This is your car?” He asked, checking your baby out. Your head turned up, smiling at his admiration for your car.

“Like it?” You asked, and he looked at you completely.

“Love it. She’s a beauty,” he said, smirking. Your cheeks were reddening as the tone of your car as you giggled a tad bit.

“That she is. This is Rosie. Hop in,” you get into the driver seat, and he excitedly opened the door and got in.

“Comfy,” he said, pressing on the leather seat. You put on your pink square sunglasses that are dazzled on the edges, and turned your head towards him as he got a feel of your car.

“Ready?” You asked with a smile on your face, excited for the events that are about to take place.

“Let’s go.”

The drive from Sunset to the Beverly Hills Hotel only took about 10 minutes. You and Harry talked about random things that didn’t include yourselves, but rather the weather, traffic, and restaurants.

Harry thought it was nice talking to someone other than Daren or Mikey. He hadn’t really made friends his whole year of living in Los Angeles, but believe it or not, he was a shy person. He sometimes doesn’t know how to handle awkward situations because he doesn’t talk all that much, so he would hate for things to get silent between him and a person and not know what to say.

But luckily, you love to talk. You talk a good amount, but you also know when to stop talking, which is a good quality to have. You think before you speak, and you keep your thoughts to yourself because you have many thoughts about people and things, which you know they’re words they'd rather not hear.

You pulled into the valet driveway of the hotel, and Harry’s immediately in awe. He’s never been to the Beverly Hills Hotel before, even though it was pretty close, but he thought it was like paradise. The palm trees everywhere, the green and white striped ceiling, and the pink exterior. He’s never seen anything like it.

“Please, take care of her. Park her in the very back if you have to where there’s no cars around. Please?” You told the valet guy, using your soft and innocent voice along with your puppy eyes. The guy nodded multiple times, telling you that he would take very good care of her car. So, you handed him your keys and walked around the car to meet Harry.

“This place is…” he trailed off.

“It’s pretty cool, right?” You finished for him as you smiled at his delight for the hotel. He nodded, smiling back at you.

You and Harry walked inside the lobby, and as Harry looked up and around, taking in the hotel, you were already headed towards the stairs.

As you were walking up, Harry noticed that you were far ahead of him, making his fast walk to walk behind you.

“I’m only on the second floor, so I hope you don’t mind the stairs.” You had checked into the hotel before you got to Sweetland, not wanting to wait in line to check into the room when you have company.

“That’s completely fine,” he said back, trying his hardest not to look at your hips swaying as you took every step up the stairs.

Once you finally got to your room, you unlocked the door, with the key they gave you, with shaky hands. And Harry’s right there with you, anxiousness running through his body as he continuously messes with his hair—a habit when he’s nervous.

The room was an average size room. You didn’t see the point in spending so much for a suite on the top floor when this was only going to be for a little while. Plus, you only needed a bed and a bathroom, and you were good to go.

“Would you like some champagne?” You offered, walking over to the table that had glasses and a bottle of Piper Brut Champagne.

“Uh, okay, sure,” he stumbled over his words, cursing at himself to get it together. He’s obviously never done this before—have sex with someone for money, and he’s trying to tell himself that this was just like a one night stand, just exclude the money part then he’ll be fine.

You handed him the champagne glass, clinking your glasses together before taking a sip as you sat down on the cushioned bench at the front of the bed. You were sitting on the edge as Harry sat on the other edge, both not sure if you should sit any closer even though the night will end in being very close to one another.

“So, Harry…” you started, looking down at your glass.

“Yes, love?” Your head perked up at the pet name, blushing a bit.

“Where are you from?”

“I’m-”

“I mean, if you want to answer that! Don’t feel the need to answer anything I ask,” you interrupted, nervously, and Harry chuckled at your cuteness.

“No, it’s okay. You can ask me anything. But I’m originally from England, but I moved to New York when I was a kid, and now I’m here.”

“Where from in England?” You asked curiously.

“Manchester. And when I was about 13, we moved to Brooklyn,” he told you.

“Wow. You’ve been everywhere,” you chuckled lightly.

“Almost.”

“Why did you move to LA?” You asked suddenly.

“I want to become an actor. I’ve been trying to get auditions and whatnot, but so far, that hasn’t been working for me, so that’s why I’m working at Sweetland,” he explained. You only nodded your head, and Harry slightly panicked, wondering why you weren’t saying anything. He was thinking it was because you felt pity for him; he had big dreams and you probably thought that those dreams were hard to even accomplish.

There was a silence that fell between you two as you sipped the champagne and figured out to go about this.

“I think that’s really cool--wanting to become an actor. And it’s admirable that you’re very determined to; I can see it in your eyes that you really want to achieve your dreams, and it’s even more admirable that you’re willing to work side jobs in order to get to where you want to be,” you nodded your head slightly, as you continued speaking. “A lot of people who want to become actors simply just focus on acting, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just hard to make it in the industry y’know? They act cocky and flaunt and brag about it, but that kind of attitude is going to get them nowhere. I know it first hand.” Harry was going to ask how you knew it first hand as he was wondering if you were also wanting to become an actor.

“How-”

“But you…you’re completely different from them, I could tell. You’re nice and you’re a gentleman, and you tell others your dreams and aspirations, and how you’re trying to just make it, and I really like that about you,” you tell him.

Harry is completely speechless. He’s never had someone tell him those words before other than himself, and it felt so nice to hear them coming out of your mouth. There was a certain reassurance he felt from you when you told him that--like he believed them, and he was sure he was going to use those words to keep him going, until he makes it to where he wants to be.

“Listen, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’ll still pay so you get paid fairly, but-” you suddenly say, and Harry interrupts you.

“What makes you think I don’t?” He asked. His brain was overthinking a mile a minute, and he thought the worst.

“You’re a really nice guy, and I know you don’t mean any harm. I didn’t really expect seeing you, but when I did, I just wanted to get to know you and talk to you, and maybe some other stuff, but if you don’t want to then that’s fine too,” you told him honestly. You’ve always been one for telling the truth and not holding back on what you really want to say.

“I do. I really do want to do this,” he said, and you nodded, not saying anything else after. “So…how should we do this?” Harry asked, nervously, but once the words came out of his mouth, he immediately closed it, rolling his eyes at himself for asking that kind of question.

But luckily, you didn’t think anything of it. You softly chuckled, gaining the confidence you knew you had, and you shifted your position to sit on your side as your right arm was placed on the edge of the bed next to you. “How about you kiss me first?” You said seductively.

Harry moved closer to you and leaned forward as he spoke, nerves out the window. “Where do you want me to kiss you?” His voice was raspy and low, triggering your arousal.

“I want you to start off by kissing my hand, all the up to shoulder, and then my neck, continuing on my face, and then I’ll decide if you can kiss my lips,” you teased, looking at him with dark eyes, completely capturing him under your spell. “Sounds good?”

“Sounds great,” he smirked, and you gave him your hand. He held it for a second, feeling the softness of your skin as his thumb caressed it.

With one kiss to the back of your hand, he started making his way up your arm, leaving soft kisses slowly, but surely, wanting to intensify the feeling you had. He finally made it to your shoulder, leaving many along it.

You expected him to kiss up your neck already, but he took a detour and kissed along your collarbones and proceeded to your other shoulder as your head was thrown back.

Your breathing was deep, trying to contain your moans from the feeling of his lips. With your legs completely shut as you relaxed, you slowly circulated your head with your eyes shut as he placed his kisses across your neck. He moved up a bit to your jaw and to your cheeks and to your forehead as you didn’t dare open your eyes, but rather take in the feeling.

“Was that good?” He asked. You opened your eyes slowly, meeting him as he smirked, noticing how much you were enjoying it.

“Really good. But you didn’t follow my instructions.” He raised his brows in confusion. “You took a different little route to my neck,” you told him and his mouth formed an ‘O’, realizing that.

“Did you like it though?” He challenged.

“I mean…yeah,” you smiled, trying not to burst out in laughter at yourself.

“So, do I deserve a kiss?” He asked—more like he subtly tried to beg, wanting to feel your plump lips against his.

You dramatically sighed, “I guess so. After all, it did feel good.”

Harry learned in closer, foreheads and noses touching each other. It seemed like he was waiting for you to tell him to kiss you already, so you did the pleasure in doing it yourself, molding your lips with his. The taste of cigarettes and sweet candy of his lips onto yours, and bubblegum galore on his.

It was everything he wanted in a kiss with you. With only knowing you for a good 25 minutes, he was imagining how you would feel against him. How your lips would feel on him. And he wasn’t disappointed whatsoever. Plus, the sexual tension between you two was very, very high.

One hand found his curls as the other was placed on the back of his neck, somehow pulling him closer to you. Harry’s hands roam your back and trail down your thighs, but he didn’t feel much since you had clothes on.

“Can I touch you?” You whispered out, asking him.

“Yes, god, yes,” he pleaded.

Your hand raked down to the front of his trousers, feeling his hard bulge in your hand as you fondled what you could feel. He was big; there was no doubt about that and the thought made you wetter, even if you hadn’t seen him bare yet. Harry whimpered into your mouth, to which you stuck your tongue into his. As your tongue meets his, a shock ran through you causing shivers to run down your spine as you felt the slick feeling of his tongue playing with yours.

You pulled back, breathlessly, and Harry opened his eyes. You noticed his flushed state; lips swollen and cheeks pink. It was a sight you found so endearing, and you wanted to keep kissing him for the hell of it, but you also wanted more.

“Undress me,” you told him. He nodded, placing a peck to your lips as he began to unbuckle the big belt on your waist. Once he got that off, he unzipped your skirt, pulling it down swiftly as his jaw dropped as he saw that you were wearing a black lace corset under your outfit as they hooked onto your stockings, along with black panties.

“Holy fuck,” he said in awe, quickly taking your top off to see your lingerie fully. You smirked at him, loving his reaction to your new lingerie. “God, you’re a fuckin’ sight,” he said, kissing the top of your breasts as he reached behind you to untie your corset. You looked down, wanting to see how his kisses meet your skin, and it was the most fond thing you’ve ever seen while he tries to untie your corset.

When he finally was able to get it off, he slowly peeled the corset off of you, revealing your bare breasts. “W-Wow,” he stuttered out.

“Like what you see?” You asked.

“Beyond like,” he said, mouth attaching to one of your nipples, swirling and sucking on it before moving to the other one, earning a whimper from your mouth. He then kisses down to your stomach and to the hem of your underwear, looking up at you. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes. Take it all off,” you breathed out. He unclipped the clips from your stocking before dragging your panties down your legs, fully showing yourself.

“Think I’m gonna leave this one on,” he said, looking up at you as he referred to your black stockings. You looked down at him, smirking slightly before nodding.

“You like them don’t you?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. You’re so fucking beautiful. Can’t wait to get a taste of ya,” he said, pecking your inner thighs. You were aching, wanting to just feel him right where you want to just to relieve some pressure.

“Lick me already. Stop teasing and just eat me out,” you said, whimpering but also somewhat sternly. Harry glanced up at you, smirking before pressing one last kiss to your thigh and taking one long stripe up your wet core.

“Oh my,” you gasped, grabbing into a handful of his curls, causing him to moan slightly.

Harry focuses his licks onto your clit, aiming the tip of his tongue onto the tip of your clit. Your upper body is thrown back onto the edge of the bed.

“You taste so good,” he said, looking up to find you sprawled out. You were practically dripping, and you wanted more—needed more.

With his fingers, he rubs your slit before entering them inside of you, feeling your wetness. He fingers curl up into you; the softness of your walls being tortured by his fingers made you moan out.

“So, so good.”

“Yeah? God, so tight around my fingers. Not sure you’re gonna handle my cock,” he teased, making you get up from your sprawled out position, giving him a look.

“Don’t think I can handle your cock? Not sure you can handle me in general,” you gave him a testing look. Harry chuckled, fingers still in you as he thrusted them in and out of you, thumb rubbing your clit. You tried maintaining your composure, looking down at him as he tried testing you.

“Okay, whatever you say, princess,” he said, testing out the new pet name for you.

“Don’t call me that,” you cringed.

Well, I guess that’s a no then, Harry thinks.

“What do you want me to call you then?” He takes a lick to your clit. “Huh, baby?” He felt you tense up, and he’s not sure if it’s the nickname or if you’re close already. But he thinks it’s the nickname. And it is; you never really liked the nickname baby, and Chris used to call you that as well.

“No,” you managed to get out, feeling on edge as he continues fucking you with his fingers and licks your clit.

“Okay. How about darling?” He said, taking another lick, but this time, he sucks it into his mouth, making your back arch more.

“Nope,” you said. Harry frowned a bit, loving that nickname. He takes his fingers out and the smell of your arousal on his fingers makes him even harder. Lifting his fingers, he tapped your lips, to which you opened and took them in your mouth, swirling your tongue around and tasting yourself.

Harry continued to lick your pussy, bringing you to your high as he licks around your hole, and indulging in your orgasm.

“Fuck, fuck. Yes,” you moaned. Your chest was heaving up and down, trying to catch your breath from being on edge to your orgasm.

Harry kissed up to your lips, leaving wet kisses along your skin. Once his lips met yours, you clung onto him; legs around his waist and arms around his torso as he lifted you up to lay on the bed. You tasted yourself on his tongue, a mixture of sweet and a tinge of saltiness as yours and Harry’s tongue swirl around each other.

“Mmm. Sweet, sweet girl,” he said between kisses, and you moaned against his lips, pulling back for a bit as he was confused, but you looked him in the eye.

“That. Call me that.”

Harry smirked, finally able to call you something other than your name. “Yeah? My sweet girl likes that name?” You bit your lip as you smiled, loving the way he says it. It wasn’t like the other pet names people called you, and you liked that, especially when it came from Harry.

“Strip for me?” You asked, realizing he was still fully clothed in his work uniform when you were fully naked. “Wanna see you.”

Harry smiled, getting off of you and the bed as he stood in front of you. You laid on your side, propping an elbow up as you watched him slowly untie his pussybow. As much as you loved his outfit, you wanted to see it off.

When Harry revealed his bare upper body, throwing his top to the side, you softly gasped. He had a few tattoos on his body; the swallows on his chest, a butterfly on his stomach, ferns on his lower stomach, and a few on his upper arm. You were amazed to say the least as you’ve never hooked up with someone who had tattoos nor had you really seen them on someone’s body since rarely anyone you interact with has tattoos of their own. But seeing them on Harry’s body made you think of how beautiful he made them out to be and how lovely it looks on him.

Harry then took his white trousers off, and finally his pants, which felt like a relief for him because he was painfully hard under the restriction.

You gulped, breath hitched in your throat as you took him in. You already knew he was bigger than all the other guys you’ve slept with, but fuck, his body.

“You’re…so beautiful,” you said. It slipped out of your mouth, but you were in no way ashamed of what came out because Harry blushed and softly smiled at you.

You were both fully naked, you on your side and Harry standing in front of you. There were no signs of discomfort; no shying away from each other as neither of you made the move to cover yourselves up. It was like admiring each other’s body in the fullest; taking each other in as you both stay bare in front of your eyes.

“Fuck me. Please,” you said, not being able to wait any longer, and you were itching under his stare as it turned you on even more.

“Okay, okay,” he said, bending down as he retrieved a condom from his pocket that Daren always had a jar of them at the shop, and made everyone get as many as they’d like before leaving with a customer. He ripped the foiled packaging open before slowly rolling the condom around his dick, and getting on the bed between your legs.

He licked his thumb before placing it on your clit and rubbing it; the sensitivity from your orgasm was still present as you whimpered, bringing your hips up, to which he brought down.

“Get inside of me already,” you said sternly, looking at him as you said so. “I mean it. I want to feel you already.”

Harry said nothing but smirk, grabbing his cock and running it up and down your slit, collecting your wetness to lube his wrapped dick before pushing in you. You gasped when you felt his tip inside of you, and fully moaned when you felt him whole. Harry groaned as he placed his arms on both sides of you, keeping himself up as he started to thrust.

“You feel so fucking good,” he said. Your nails raked his back, leaving scratch marks against his skin.

“Holy fuck, feel so full.” Harry continued to slowly fuck you, thinking you needed time to adjust to his size. But you needed the opposite, “Fuck me harder,” you moaned.

“Yeah? Y’want me harder?” You nodded, back arching off the bed. Harry drove deeper into you, but still going at the same pace.

“And faster,” you didn’t forget to add.

Harry picked up the pace and thrusted harder and faster into you as you requested. The length and girth of his cock hit all the right places as you squeezed around him, making him groan.

“So fucking big.” Your head is thrown back onto the pillows as your mouth is wide open. Harry takes the opportunity to kiss you, diving his tongue straight into your mouth as you gladly take it, closing your mouth around his.

He pulled back, keeping up with his pace. “Do you like that? Does my sweet girl like that?” He sat up on his knees as his hands gripped your hips hard. The pet name had made you scream out, loving the way he calls you that.

“Good--feels so good,” you hands gripped the sheets below you as he relentlessly fucked you.

“You’re so tight around me. Tryin’ to squeeze the fuck out of me,” Harry threw his head back and you looked up at him. You took in how his stomach flexed with every thrust he drove into you, and how his chest was gleaming with sweat. And you couldn’t forget how mesmerizing the action of his cock driving into you looked; the sight making your mouth water.

You also didn’t realize that Harry was looking at you as you were eyeing him.

“Checkin’ me out?” He smirked.

“Can you blame me? You’re too hot not to,” you flirted.

“Could say the same thing for you. Look and feel so good for me,” he was now chest to chest with you, completely putting his weight on top of you, and you didn’t mind. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and your legs around his waist, pushing your heels into his ass as you wanted more from him before you took his lips in with yours. The wetness and the continuous hitting of your g-spot made you on edge, and you were nearly there.

“Gonna cum,” you said against his lips.

“Sweet girl’s gonna cum for me?” You nodded, and he went to suck on one of your tits as he pinched and fondled the other.

“Are you almost there?” You asked, and Harry kissed your neck, chuckling.

“Yeah. I’ve been there ever since I first saw you,” he said honestly, making you chuckle. “Cum for me, yeah? Wanna fill you up already.”

As Harry kept up his pace, he felt you squeeze around him and heard you moan out a series of ‘fuck’ as your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks.

“Oh, yesss,” you dragged out, and Harry continuously fucked you, riding out your high as he came into the condom.

“Shit,” he groaned, hips not stopping its movement. He collapsed onto your chest and your hands found his back, lightly scratching it as you let out a ‘mmm’, calming him down from his orgasm.

After a few minutes, you felt heavy breathing against your neck followed by small kisses to your skin. Harry lifted his head up, smiling at you. You chuckled at his post orgasm state and squeezed around him, trying to buck your hips as he was still inside you.

“Don’t do that,” he warned, slightly whimpering from being so sensitive.

“Why? I wanna go again,” you proposed.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” His brows raised and he sat up. You shook your head, telling him you were serious.

“Please? I’m still really horny, and want you to fuck me again before you have to go back,” you pleaded. You used an innocent voice, but Harry knew your words were far from innocent, but he couldn’t say no.

He was still inside of you and his cock was barely softening, so your wish is his command. “You’re gonna be the death of me. Better give a good tip,” he teased, joking with you.

“I would, but you’re giving me a good tip already, aren’t you?” You teased back, causing him to laugh and shook his head.

“Again, the death of me.” He started rocking his hips into you again as he sat on his knees. You scooted forward so the back of your thighs were on his as you were a bit elevated.

And as he was before, he pounded into you as he gripped your sides, physically moving you so you could meet his thrust. With your ass practically off the bed, your breasts were bouncing from the movement and he made no sign to slow down or stop.

It was easier for you both to come since you had just come down from your highs, but the second time around was more intense all the while feeling so good, and the sounds of yours and Harry’s moans were the only sounds heard as you both came.

Harry pulled out of you, and went to the restroom to take the condom off before laying back down on the bed. You were staring at the ceiling as your breathing was still heavy, and you felt Harry’s eyes on you.

“Yes?”

“I should probably go,” he said softly, hating the words that came out of his mouth.

“You can stay for a bit? I mean, if you can,” you offered, and Harry’s face lightened.

“I’d like that,” he smiled. You moved next to him, cuddling into his chest as you both made no effort to cover yourselves with the blanket.

“So, what do you do? Work? School?” He asked, and you detach yourself from him and laid on your side, facing him. He frowned slightly, missing your body against his, but he copied your position and faced you.

“I’m a professional dancer and teacher,” you said, placing your hand on his stomach, feeling his toned but soft skin. The action caused goosebumps to arise on his skin, enjoying the feeling of your soft hand.

“Really? What kind of dancer are you?” It was his turn to touch you now; placing his hand on your side and softly running his nails against it.

“Uh, I do ballet,” you replied hesitantly, wondering how he’d react. He knew that you had money from your car and the way you dress, and the fact that you can afford to fuck at a hotel for one day. He also knew that ballet class and dance classes in general were expensive, which raises your anxiety because you didn’t want to come off as a snobby bitch who has money and flaunts it by her appearance.

“Really? That’s so cool! How long have you been dancing for?” He asked curiously as you slightly calmed down as he didn’t react so badly,

“Since I was seven. I’ve only ever done ballet,” you smiled softly, remembering your first ballet class and how you were so happy being a seven year old. And times have changed…drastically.

“How old are you now? If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“It’s okay. You can ask me anything. But I’m twenty three. I work at the academy,” you told him. It was your first ever job that you had, and it was the only job that your parents allowed you to have as you were still in school at the time; that’s only because Richard had told you that it was the only thing you were good at, seeing as you've been dancing for years, so he allowed it when you had told him the big news of the studio offering you a job. “How old are you?” You suddenly asked.

“I’m twenty five.”

“Are you married?” You teased, not seeing a wedding band on his finger, but decided to still ask.

“Nope.”

“Girlfriend?” You asked, and he shook his head no. “Great.” You contained your big smile, chuckling a bit.

“Yeah,” he said, smirking. “Currently work for the fake, but not so fake, candy shop, and meet lovely ladies like you,” he smiled, and you chuckled.

“How long have you been working there?”

“Honestly? Two days. You’re actually my first ‘real’ customer.” Your brows raised, curious as to why you were his first real customer. “I freaked out the first day because my boss didn’t quite explain to me what was happening until this one lady, who was married by the way, wanted to have sex and overall I was so confused. And Daren, my boss, gave me a choice if I wanted to stay, and figuring I need the money, I did,” he explained as you nodded your head, chuckling a bit as you were amused at his story of his first day.

“Well, I’m glad you stayed. Had a really fun time,” you bit your lip as your hand continued to move around on his stomach.

“I did as well. Have you been to Sweetland before?” You shook your head, and his eyes widened.

“Why’s that?” You asked amusingly.

“I don’t know…you’re just this gorgeous and confident woman who walked into the shop and knew what she wanted--it’s a good thing; a good trait to have. I was a bit intimidated and nervous, but it’s admirable really,” he told you honestly. A blush crept onto his cheeks, and as if you didn’t already have a tiny crush on this guy, seeing him flustered and adorable increased your liking towards him.

“You’re sweet,” was all you managed to say. You knew you were confident in yourself, and you try your best to show everyone that you don’t take shit from anyone. But no one has quite said that it was a good trait because all you’ve gotten were dirty looks and not so kind words because you were confident.

“I beg to differ because you’re the sweet girl,” he flirted, pecking your lips quickly before pulling back.

You two looked each other in the eye for a moment before you leaned in to take his lips against yours, kissing him once more. The kiss was sweet and slow; not needing to rush it. You cherished and enjoyed it as you haven’t been kissed like this in a long time without it having to get deeper and less to sex.

You and Harry hadn’t realized it was almost 6 p.m, and Harry needed to get back to the shop. Sweetland closes at around 4, but Daren said the rules were that if a customer comes before 4, they have about two hours to pleasure and satisfy them before they have to be back at the shop as Daren collected tips if given, and they officially close at 6:30.

You on the other hand, had about two hours to spare since you had a half day. You hadn’t told your parents because they’d expect you to be home, and god knows you don’t want to be, so you figured you could hang out with Alice and Frances.

“I should probably get going,” Harry said sadly. He didn’t want to leave his very spot as he wanted to keep talking to you, and getting to know you more.

“Yeah, okay…” you said, feeling odd about getting up and changing. It was like you didn’t want to leave; the simple act of talking post sex was something you enjoyed with him. It was comforting in the sense.

Harry was the first to get out of bed, feeling like he would seriously stay talking to you for the rest of the night, but he had to get going. He dressed up, tucking in his blouse into his trousers and forgetting to retie the bow. You followed him as well after going to the restroom to do your business; retrieving your clothes from the ground as you dressed yourself when Harry was the one who undressed you. No words were spoken between you two as you two got ready in silence. It wasn’t awkward in the sense, more like a sad farewell because you both really did enjoy your time together.

“I-I’m gonna see if I can call for a car at the front desk,” he said once he was finished changing. You were sitting on the cushioned bench, the one where he ate you out on, as you put on your shoes.

You looked up once you were finished, brows furrowed. “Nonsense. I can take you back,” you offered.

“Oh, it’s okay-”

“Harry, please. I have a perfectly capable car waiting downstairs for me, and it’s not even that far of a drive. I have plenty of time as well,” the way you were looking at him was like you were hoping he wouldn’t say no, and so he didn’t. He nodded his head in agreement.

“Okay. Thank you,” he said, and you gave him a smile.

You two looked around the room to see if any of you left something behind before heading out to the lobby. Harry waited for you to check out, which didn’t take longer than five minutes before he followed you outside as you gave the valet guy your ticket as he went to get your car.

Luckily, nothing happened to Rosie, and you handed a few bills to the valet guy before getting in with Harry.

“She’s perfectly okay,” Harry said as you pulled onto the main road.

“Huh?”

“Rosie. She’s fine. I heard you talk to the guy back there, telling him to take care of her when we arrived,” he explained, and your eyes brightened, realizing what he was talking about.

“Yeah, she’s my baby. Can’t trust anyone with her. Never really let anyone drive her besides valet people who, in fact, I have to give very clear instructions on how to take care of her,” you chuckled.

“Seems like you and Rosie need to be treated properly.”

“That we do,” you agreed. “That we do.”

Before you and Harry knew it, you were parked on the side of Sweetland, putting your car into park. You turned towards Harry and he turned towards you, not really sure how to say goodbye after this. There was no denying the attraction you feel towards each other. You talked before and after sex, simply getting to know each other, and it felt completely safe--comfortable with one another, comfortable in your bodies together.

“I should probably head inside now,” he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door. You only nodded, feeling a bit sad you two had to part ways.

“Okay, yeah, uh…thank you?” You said awkwardly, not knowing if this was an appropriate situation to say thanks. Harry chuckled, amused because he was going to say thank you as well.

“I think I should be the one thanking you, so thank you.” Harry gets out of the car and you watch him shut the door before you remembered something.

“Oh, wait, Harry!” You called out to him, and he turned around, leaning down and placing his arms on the passenger door as he watched you fish something out from your purse. You handed him a $20 bill as a tip for the company and events, and Harry was hesitant on taking it. “Please, take it? I had a really nice time.”

“I don’t know. It feels wrong to take it,” he said softly, a hint of frustration in his tone. And you knew it felt wrong because it felt wrong giving it to him, like he was just hookup. “If I take it, then it’ll feel like it wasn’t anything more,” he said honestly. It was a big step for him to say those words, but if you hadn’t felt the same then he wouldn’t worry about it because he wouldn’t see you again.

But you sighed in relief, putting your head down before quickly bringing it back up to look at him. “Yeah, it feels very wrong giving this to you, but you don’t have to take it for yourself. I just want to help you guys because the service, for one, is amazing,” you giggled, and the corners of his lips turned up.

“Okay, but I’m not keeping this for myself,” he said, taking the money from your hands, but continues to hold your hand.

“I don’t expect you to.”

The feeling of holding hands was something you never felt so much excitement from until holding Harry’s hand. Even if it was a ‘friendly’ gesture, the act made butterflies soar through your stomach.

“I really should go,” he gave you a sad smile.

“Yeah…” you said softly. “I’ll see you around maybe?”

“See you, sweet girl.”

Harry gave the back of your hand a kiss before letting your hand go, and you immediately missed his touch, but you watched him walk to the entrance of the shop as he turned around once, giving you a small wave and smile before walking in. You sighed, starting your car back up; an odd feeling was present in your chest as he parted ways with you. For a moment, you didn’t know why you felt so gutted to see him leave, but you figured it was because of the connection you had with him physically, and you really enjoyed your time chatting with him.

The drive to Alice’s place was silent; the only thing heard was the crackling of the stereo that tried its best to play music. It was about a twelve minute drive from Sweetland back to Beverly Hills that was filled with pondering as the golden hour sun hit you and your convertible.

Once you parked on the side of the street in front of her house, you got out and went to the side gate, letting yourself in, knowing Alice’s parents didn't want anyone in the house uninvited, so Alice told you and Frances to use the side gate whenever you two went over to enter. And besides, you all hang out in the backyard anyways.

When you walked past the side of the house, you found Frances and Alice chatting as they laid on their pool chairs, sipping a martini in their bikinis. They hadn’t heard you walking, but once they saw you, they immediately sat up and started to squeal.

“Oh my gosh, you’re glowing!” Frances screamed, and you rolled your eyes, sitting at the end of Frances’ pool chair.

“See? Told you they’re gonna fuck you good,” Alice snickered, smirking at Frances as she smiled back. “Hey, what’s got you so down? They weren’t that good?” Alice asked, noticing the frown on your face.

“The exact opposite. He was great,” you replied, still in a sad tone.

“Then why aren’t you happy, doll?” Frances asked, placing a hand on your back; the same frown on your face was matched on theirs. It was something you loved about your trio; your energies were always matched or tried to be matched when one was excited or sad.

“His name is Harry, and…he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. We just had such a strong connection physically, of course, but also emotionally. We talked before and after we had sex, and there was just something about him that made me want to just lay there and talk to him for hours. It was…comforting, and I didn’t feel the need to, like, hide myself from him,”

“Oh, doll, you caught feelings,” Alice said, placing a hand on your knee. You nodded slowly, knowing you really did catch feelings after sex.

“I’ve known him for what? Two hours?” A strained look fell on your face as you tried not to cry out of frustration.

“Hey, no. It’s okay. You're a human who has feelings and is able to find that sort of connection with anyone. Your feelings matter. If you really like this guy, visit him again!” Frances said.

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know why I’m acting like it’s the end of the world.”

“Well, that’s because this is the first guy you’ve ever liked ever since Chris. This is a big deal,” Alice said, and Frances nodded in agreement.

“And besides, you can always go back to Sweetland--order yourself a ‘cloud nine,’” Frances wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, making you all laugh. 

“Thanks, dolls,” you opened your arms, giving them one big group hug as you embraced one another. When you all let go, you noticed their glances to each other, making you confused. 

“What?” 

“Well, how was it? Tell us all about it!” The two were smiling so big like they were kids receiving ice cream as Frances moved to sit next to Alice on her pool chair with their fists under their chin as they waited for you to tell them all about it. 

“It was amazing. He was so dreamy…” 

You proceeded to tell them the entire story, leaving out the details of you and Harry having sex, but they begged and asked some simple questions that you were able to answer. The three of you screamed, laughed, and felt so giddy as you told your story. And you already missed the way his eyes looked into yours. 

Maybe after all, you will go back to Sweetland.

YAY FOR CHAPTER TWO! COME INTO MY ASK AND LETS CHAT ABOUT THIS! 

next chapter will be up on August 28!

taglist babies: @froggystyles​ @outofsstyles​ @whoschantel​@4592222 @groovybaybee​ @bfharry​ @wellbafineline​ @tfonty​@bfilipa52 @afire-hes @thorsangel​ @brrilliant-harry​ @apples2019​ @bbymichelleee​ @harrys-cherrry​ @ggaayyyong​ @heslilac​ @hufflepuff-always-and-forever​ @sozvuchiy​ @mellamolayla​

[cali-holland]

Dandelion- Harrison Osterfield One Shot

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield X Reader

Prompt: You’re the only girl that makes Harrison nervous, the only girl that’s unknowingly owned his heart for years- and the only girl he’s ever stood up on a date. Now, four years later, is he too late to try for a second chance?

Featured Songs: Dandelion by Kacey Musgraves and It Had to Be You from When Harry Met Sally

Based On: This scene from Psych

Word Count: 12k (longest fic right hereeee)

Warnings: swearing, secondhand embarrassment to the MAX, Harrison being a simp

Masterlist   Harrison Osterfield Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

“Why are we even shopping today? Your party’s not for another week.” Harrison let out a groan as he walked into the grocery store with Tom and Harry, the former had been very insistent on getting food for his birthday party a week in advance.

“I procrastinate on everything else, let me do something reasonably on time for once.” Tom stated, pushing the cart and heading straight for the alcohol aisle. “What should we get?”

“It’s your party.” The blond replied with a shrug. He grabbed a large case of beer, claiming, “As long as there’s beer, I’m fine.” “Didn’t you say Shelby likes Whiteclaws?” Harry asked.

“Oh, yeah, she does!” Tom perked up, grabbing a large box full of the hard seltzers.

“You’re catering to Shelby’s needs now? Tom, it’s your party.” Harrison reminded him again. Shelby being the girl who was Tom’s unofficial girlfriend.

“I want to impress her.”

“Haz, calm down. Maybe she’ll bring some of her hot friends for us.” Harry joked, nudging his friend, who looked unimpressed.

“I’m just saying, you should just be official with her already. You’re practically dating her.” Harrison insisted.

“You’re one to talk.” Tom laughed, before mimicking his friend, “‘Just ask her out already. It’s not that hard.’ Wanna remind us how you haven’t asked a girl out in four years?”

“Shove off. I’ll get the chasers.” He walked away without another word, trying to ignore the snickering from the two Holland boys behind them.

Harrison knew it was hypocritical of him to encourage Tom to officially date Shelby when he couldn’t even ask a girl out. It wasn’t like he had trouble talking to girls; no, Harrison was good-looking and he knew it, so he naturally had no problem turning on his charm whenever a pretty girl was around. It was just that when the time came to actually ask a girl out, he couldn’t. He’d freeze and have horrendous flashbacks to his last date four years ago, flashbacks that crept into his mind now as he searched for some good chasers.

“Harrison! You’re going to be late!” His mom called to him from downstairs.

“No, I’m not!” He halted his nervous pacing as he looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn’t wearing anything too special, just a nice blue button-up that brought out his eyes and his best pair of jeans. He kicked himself for letting Tom borrow his nicest pair of casual shoes because the ones he currently wore were just not fitting right. They went well enough with his look, but they squeezed his toes uncomfortably and there were little dirt stains on the side that he just hoped no one could see, especially you. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then again, trying to fix it and make sure it didn’t look too gelled up or too casual. He thought to himself ‘This is a casual thing, calm down’, but his brain was so scattered, he could barely focus on that.

“Mum says you need to leave.” His sister said, opening his door and making him jump.

“How do I look?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

“Wonderful. Now go, you’ve got a date!” She pushed him out of the room. Harrison grabbed his keys and his wallet from the table near his front door, trying to rush out of the house before his mum came into the room, but she was too fast.

“Let me see.” She smiled teasingly at him, and he sighed before turning around so that she could approve of his outfit. Pinching his cheeks, she gushed, “You look so handsome.”

“Thanks. I need to go.” He kissed his mother goodbye quickly.

As Harrison left his house, he heard his mum’s passing comment to his sister, “I’ve never seen him so nervous for a date. I hope she’s the one.”

Since you were getting off work and had your car there already, you’d told Harrison that you could meet him at the fairgrounds, the spot he had chosen for your date. The whole drive over there, he was thinking of different ways to greet you- should he do the cute romantic thing and cover your eyes for a moment, or was that too creepy? His mind rushed over to the wonder about how the night would go- would you two share a cotton candy, would you hold his hand as you two go on a thrill ride, would you need a jacket because it’s cold? Harrison’s heart surged with nervousness; he didn’t even think of bringing a jacket for you and he didn’t even have one for himself. Stopped at a red light, he blindly stretched a hand to the back of the car, in search of one of his spare jackets back there. Feeling a soft cotton material, he quickly pulled on the jacket and brought it up to his lap. He didn’t know how long it’d been his car, but judging by its smell it had definitely been in there a while. So maybe he wouldn’t give you his jacket in hopes that you take it home at the end of the night as an excuse to see him again.

The light turned green and he started to drive again. The thought of the end of the night hadn’t even crossed his mind. Did you expect him to kiss you or was it supposed to be one of those intimate hugs to end the date? His mum was right, he’d never been so nervous for a date, but he couldn’t help it. This was you.

He met you at school years ago. You two didn’t have many classes together, which made Harrison a bit sad because he wanted any opportunity to see you (but he was kind of grateful too because he definitely didn’t do well in the classes that you shared with him). He was completely enraptured by you; it took him months to finally talk to you in class. Then it took a couple more months before he managed to actually say anything more than a simple ‘hi’ to you. Poor Tom had to hear him go on for almost a year about how pretty you were or about something you said during class. Eventually, just in time for graduation when you’d all split ways, he worked up the courage to just get your number. After infrequently texting you for a while (he didn’t want to come off as a creep and text you too often), he finally asked you out a couple days ago. He was still in disbelief that you said yes. You were the girl he’d been fawning over for the past several years, and you had said yes to just going on a date with him. You had almost every guy at the school falling at your feet, you could have accompanied anyone to the carnival and yet you chose him. You made him feel like a giddy school boy, not a nearly 20-year old man.

He had hoped his nerves would’ve calmed down by the time he got to the fairgrounds, but they didn’t; if anything, his heart was beating inhumanly fast and his hands were the clammiest they’d ever been. He managed to get a parking spot near the front gate, right near where the two of you were supposed to meet. He was two minutes early; he had two minutes to calm down and go out there.

“Just be cool.” He mumbled to himself. He looked at himself in his rearview mirror and smiled, “‘Hi, Y/N’. No, that sounds creepy. ‘Hey’- God, no.” He groaned, still unable to settle on the best way to greet you. Seeing something move near the gate, he quickly looked over to see you walking to the gate.

You stood nervously in the shade, trying to hide from the evening sun. You wore a light blue babydoll dress with a dandelion print that made Harrison’s heart soar- you two had inadvertently matched color schemes. On your shoulders rested a dark blue denim jacket, which told Harrison all his worrying about the jacket dilemma was for nothing. He already knew your jacket definitely smelt better than his, and that was reassuring to him. You just looked so beautiful standing there; if you hadn’t told him you were coming from work, he wouldn’t have been able to tell. He watched as you nervously fiddled with the black bag hanging from your shoulder. You got out your phone, and Harrison watched your fingers dance across the screen before his own phone vibrated.

‘Hey, I’m here x’ You had texted him, and his heart seemed to start beating even faster- he didn’t know how he wasn’t having a heart attack. You held your phone with your left hand and put your right hand in your jacket pocket, fidgeting with it anxious. It was a nervous tick of yours that Harrison had picked up on years ago; whenever you were nervous, you’d play with your right pocket and that’s why your right jacket pockets were always disproportionately more damaged than your left.

Any confidence that he had before was gone. He couldn’t bring himself to respond to your text, and he felt frozen in his car. After a few more minutes had gone by, you texted him again and began to walk in small circles. Instead of reading your text, he pulled up Tom’s contact. He hated it, but he needed his best friend, he needed to be talked into going out there. Tom was the only person who saw firsthand how much Harrison admired you over the years, seeing as he was the one to continuously push his friend to talk to you.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” Tom asked as soon as he picked up the phone. When Harrison didn’t immediately respond, he got concerned, “Mate, tell me Y/N didn’t stand you up.”

“No, no. I just- Tom, I can’t.” Harrison said, his voice breaking.

“What do you mean you can’t? The girl of your dreams agreed to go on a date with you, give her the best date ever.”

“No, I can’t. She’s here, but I- I can’t even get out of my car.”

“Do you not like her anymore?” He asked, unsure of his friend’s predicament. Harrison had been so nervously excited about your date for days, and Tom had to hear all about how much his best friend liked you for years. This was a perfect situation for Harrison, was it not?

“I do. It’s just too real. There’s no way she’d actually date me. She’s too good for me.”

“Harrison! Listen to yourself! You’re incredible, mate, and Y/N knows that. That’s why she agreed to go out with you. Don’t leave her there. Go get her.” Tom insisted.

“O-okay, I will.” He replied before saying goodbye and hanging up his phone. He was about to leave his car when he got a call from you. He wanted to pick it up, he wanted to hear your voice, but he just felt like he was disappointing you. It had been half an hour already. Once the phone call went through and you left a voicemail, he looked up to see you sitting against the trunk of a tree, defeated, and turned away from his car that you still had yet to spot. He felt defeated himself, he was looking forward to this so much and now he was just being cowardly. He hated this feeling. A sudden surge of confidence overcame him and he hopped out of his car, thinking it’s now or never.

You hadn’t seen him yet, and he was mere steps from you. He stopped when he heard you on the phone.

“I don’t think he’s coming.” You sighed. There was a pause as you listened to the other end of the call, still unaware of his presence. “I’m just going to go. It’s been almost a hour, and I haven’t even heard from him. It just feels like a waste of time, he really let me down.”

Harrison felt himself grow heavy at your words. As much as he wanted to take the final few steps to you and to tell you he was there, his body betrayed him and he stood there, motionless and speechless.

“I even wore that blue dress I just bought. I thought he’d like it because it matches his eyes.” You laughed lightly and he felt his heart drop at your words. You were trying to impress him. “I feel so stupid. It’s probably stained now.” You stood up and dusted off your dress. You sniffled a bit and he felt his heart break- he’d made you cry and it was the worst feeling in the world for him. As you took one last look around for him, Harrison ducked behind the large tree trunk to stay out of view. With a final sigh, you left. Harrison threw his head back against the tree. He was so angry with himself, you were all he wanted for years and he finally had him, but now you were gone, probably for good. You were there, and he was there; why couldn’t he just actually be there for you?

“Chasers, chasers, chasers,” He mumbled to himself, walking through the store trying to find where they had hidden the drink section (why it wasn’t right beside the alcohol section, he didn’t know). He paused his search, hearing an all too familiar singing voice come over the store’s radio.

As if the memory of him leaving you like that wasn’t haunting enough for him, you went on to become a successful artist and sometimes he felt like there was no escaping your popular songs. He couldn’t bring himself to listen to them though. Tom said that they were good- after all, he still kind of kept up in contact with you, but Harrison knew it’d only make him feel even more guilty about his actions all those years ago. He hadn’t reached out to you at all since before that fateful and horrendous night. You were special and he always knew that, he just didn’t appreciate you enough when you were there.

Trying his best to ignore the melodic sound of your voice, he continued his journey to finding chasers. He finally found the aisle labeled “beverages” and figured they had to be there. When he turned the corner, his eyes quickly darted to the drink selection in front of him. It was only then that he realized this was a stupid idea; why did Tom put him in charge of chasers? It was still Tom’s party. Just as Harrison was about to say “fuck it” and grab a box of Coke, he realized there was one other person in the aisle to his left. The stranger hadn’t noticed him though and she pushed a loose hair back under her hood before pulling the hood down some more, so her face was a bit more obstructed. Her right hand was shoved into her jacket pocket, fiddling with the cotton material.

Harrison immediately felt a wave of nausea overcome him as his brain processed the stranger as you. It had been four years since he’d stood you up and watched you walk away at the fairgrounds, four whole years since he let his dream girl just walk away, four years since he broke his own heart. He realized he’d been staring too long when you started to look over at him, and before he knew it, he was running out of the aisle and crashing into Harry around the corner.

“Did you get chasers?” Harry asked, confused by his friend’s terrified appearance.

“I- uh, no. I can’t- can’t go down there.” Harrison coughed, scratching his neck nervously.

“Why not?” He looked between Tom and Harrison. Tom’s eyes were just about as wide as Harrison’s; he knew exactly who could be down the aisle to have that sort of effect on his best friend.

“Y/N’s down there?” The older Holland clarified, and the blond nodded, biting his lip.

“Wait, the Y/N?” Harry questioned. He’d heard about the girl that Harrison stood up four years ago, but he’d never actually met her; he’d seen pictures of you, but you were kind of famous now so who hadn’t? Your name had been like a taboo in the Osterfield and Holland households for years now- no one dared to bring you up in front of Harrison, no one except for Tom. Tom was the only person who really knew what happened when it happened. He ended up telling Harry and Sam a few months afterwards, seeing as they were both close with Harrison, but Harrison never told his family. He had told his family that the date went poorly and it was never mentioned again.

“I can’t- I’m- nope.” Harrison was a stuttering mess.

“Look,” Tom started, but his words were cut short as you came around the corner. Harrison quickly dove behind one of the tall bread stands, hoping you hadn’t seen him, but you had and they all knew his hiding spot wasn’t a good one. He mentally cursed at his feet that stood planted in the ground; they wouldn’t let him run away out of this hell of a grocery store.

“Oh, hi, Tom.” You smiled, politely. You had no problem with Tom; after all, he wasn’t the one that stood you up.

“Hey, Y/N.” He leaned over a little, trying to block Harrison from your view. “How have you been?”

“Never better. And you?” You asked, your smile strained as your eyes flickered over to Harrison’s “hidden” figure for a moment. His blue eyes that once captivated you were trained to the ground.

“Been good.” Tom replied, not really sure how long he could keep up the small talk in front of his painstakingly awkward friend.

Harry, on the other hand, wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at the abnormally pale Harrison or try to console his poor friend. He’d never seen Harrison be so nervous before; sure, he’d seen the blond be nervous before about something, but never this nervous because of a girl. Now he knew what Tom was talking about when he said Harrison was always a mess when it came to you. To Harry, it almost justified Harrison being so nervous that he stood you up, almost (both Hollands still think it was stupid of Harrison to not just get out of the car and go to you).

“Are you having a party or something?” You asked, looking down at the contents of Tom’s cart that included excessive amounts of alcohol and snacks, both savory and sweet.

“Yeah,” He paused for a moment, glancing over at Harrison before a wide smile broke out on his face, “You should come.”

He held back his grimace as Harrison obviously kicked him, silently questioning what the actual fuck he was thinking. You looked at Tom confused because in all your years of knowing him, you two had been more acquaintances than friends, and also it was a party with Harrison there. You weren’t sure if you wanted to even go, but you couldn’t help yourself from saying, “Yeah, sure.”

“Great, I’ll text you the details.” Tom smiled and you nodded.

“Well I should be going, but it was nice seeing you.” You stepped around him, needing to get to an aisle behind him. Harrison did the best thing he could to hide from you, holding up a loaf of bread and keeping his eyes closed, praying the ‘I can’t see you, you can’t see me’ concept would pay off. “Bye, Harrison.”

With that, you walked away from the three boys and Harrison let out a small sigh, putting the bread back on the shelf. Tom laughed as his friend punched him in the arm.

“What the hell was that for?” Harrison questioned, all nervousness going away, but he still looked around the store in paranoia in case you came back.

“It’s perfect, mate. Y/N will come to the party, you can apologize and talk to her, and hopefully she takes you back.” Tom smiled hopefully. He thought his plan was ingenious, but the stern look on his friend’s face said otherwise.

“That’s a shit plan.” He crossed his arms, “Look at me! I still can’t even look at her. She just- ugh, I’m not going.”

“You’d miss my birthday party because of Y/N?”

“Well,” Harrison sighed, knowing Tom would hate him if he actually didn’t go. Plus, it’s at his house so he would have to have a pretty big excuse not to show up. “Fine, but I’m not talking to her.”

“I didn’t believe Tom about Y/N until now. You’re so whipped.” Harry laughed, earning a smack from the frustrated Harrison.

“It’s been four years, and she still has a hold over you. I wonder if she knows.” Tom teased him.

“Shut up.” Harrison grumbled, “Let’s just get the chasers and leave.”

Harrison had one week, a whole seven days to prepare his apology speech. He paced around his room daily, trying to come up with the right words to say, even though you’d leave him too speechless and stunned anyway. He felt like he was attempting at writing a Shakespearean monologue, he felt desperate. But how do you apologize to someone who wasn’t even yours to begin with? How does he tell you that he’s sorry he left you? And that it was all because you made him too nervous to actually do anything? And it ended up breaking his heart and stalling his love life up until this point because no one can compare to you, the girl he’s basically loved since he was 14? He never really admitted it before then, but he did love you and that’s why it hurt even more to reflect on that regretful night.

He often wondered how different his life would be if he had just gotten out of the car. Or even if he had remembered a clean jacket. He would’ve greeted you with a bright smile at the gate, and you’d be overjoyed to see him; you two would have shared food all night long; he would have loved to see the crinkles by your eyes as you smiled and laughed from the thrill of the rides; he would have wanted to kiss you on the top of the ferris wheel because you would already be holding his hand since you were afraid of heights; but he would’ve saved your first kiss for the end of the night, for when he was walking you to your car, his hand in yours, his jacket around your shoulders- he would’ve kissed you under the moonlight. But then, maybe you wouldn’t have had your big break, maybe you wouldn’t have written your first big hit because he was in your life, because he was a distraction from your career- and then neither of you would have really known if you could make it in the music business. Yet again, maybe you two would have moved in together by now, living happily in a small apartment, or even a small house where you could have a dog to run around the yard.

For four years, he’s been dreaming of all the different events that could have occurred if he had just gotten out of the car, if he had just stopped you before you walked away. For four years, you’d owned his heart, and he didn’t know what he was going to do when he saw you tonight at the party.

“I’m sorry.” Harrison mumbled to himself, pulling on a nice button-up. He looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair a little. He just kept repeating the two words he so desperately wanted to tell you tonight. Maybe if he said it enough times now before the party, it’d be the only words he could squeak out when you were there. The anxious part of him was hoping you wouldn’t show, that you’d be sick or something and just couldn’t go; but then the realistic part of him remembered that you literally texted Tom this morning, asking why he didn’t tell you it was a birthday party because now you had to get him a last minute gift- apparently you’d seen the news on Twitter.

“Harrison, dear God, please shut the fuck up.” Tom said as he and Harrison were setting up the makeshift bar. The blond hadn’t even realized he was still mindlessly repeating those words.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Sorry. I get it.” He cut him off. “It’s going to be fine. She’s going to come in, and you’ll apologize.”

“That requires me to speak to her.” Harrison stated, his nerves already hitting him as his palms began to grow clammy.

“I had to listen to you go on about this girl for almost a year before you managed to actually say anything but ‘hi’ to her. You are going to talk to her tonight. That’s what the alcohol’s for.” He laughed lightheartedly, before threateningly adding, “And you’re not going to walk away from her!”

“At this point, I’ll be surprised if my feet actually work around her.” He sighed, putting his hands on the counter and leaning into them. He was beyond stressed about the party, which was just an hour away, “I don’t know what it is about her, but I just- I freeze. She’s beautiful and sweet and funny, and she’s got such an incredible singing voice. She’s perfect and breathtaking, and I can’t handle it. She’s absolutely the girl of my dreams but god, these butterflies are the worst thing in the world. Every time she’s near me, I just can’t speak and my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest and my hands get all sweaty and- and I just love her, but I fucked it all up.”

“Calm down, Haz.” Tom spoke softly. “You never know, she might give you another shot. On the bright side, there’s no way you can fuck it up more as long as you don’t freeze.”

“What if-” Harrison paused, standing up straight, “What if I just kept my eyes closed all night, so if I run into her, I won’t freeze because I won’t be able to see her?”

“She’s not fucking Medusa.” His friend smacked him on the back of the head. “Pull yourself together!”

Once the bar was set up, Harrison went back to his room to try to memorize his speech, the perfect words that will hopefully win you over. He read over the small piece of paper, crinkling it under his fingers lightly. He heard Tom start the music and suddenly people began to arrive. He had to go out there now or else he’d never go.

“I can do this.” He told himself as he looked in the mirror, and he suddenly felt like a 19 year old all over again, anxiously hyping himself up for the biggest date of his life. This time it was different. This time he was going to talk to you (well, at least say ‘hi’ before running away).

“You good?” Harry asked as he handed Harrison a drink when the blond finally made it to the kitchen while the party was picking up pace.

“Yeah,” He replied, but it did nothing to convince either of them that he was, in fact, good. Harrison quickly drank the beer, knowing he’d need a bit more if he was going to actually confront you tonight.

“Don’t go too hard. You’ve got to be somewhat coherent when you talk to Y/N.” His friend warned, but Harrison shook him off, downing another. With two drinks suddenly in his system, he stopped to nurse the third one properly. Harry sighed, but he even had to admit that it was a decently good sign that Harrison wasn’t completely planning on being wasted when seeing you (he’d save the shots for after your rejection). Before leaving Harrison alone, Harry stated, “Don’t finish that drink until you talk to her.”

Harrison did as he was told, slowly savoring the one drink while eating some snacks and socializing with old friends. Tom made the rounds throughout the party, and it didn’t take long for Shelby to be latched on his arm. After half an hour of waiting for you, Harrison was about to give up hope and just chug the rest of his drink to get another because he could feel the alcohol slowly fade away. He couldn’t grab another though, because while Harry wasn’t in the kitchen with him anymore, the curly haired Holland still kept a watchful eye on him.

“Haz, look who just showed up.” Tom said, coming over to his friend and nudging him towards the front door, where you just stepped in. Just like that, the nervousness was overflowing in Harrison.

“Go talk to her.” Harry encouraged him, appearing by his side with Sam.

“I don’t-”

“Go!” All three Hollands shouted while Tom physically shoved his friend in your direction. Harrison’s feet took him to you, but they refused to move once your eyes landed on him.

“H-hey, Y/N.” He said, swallowing the anxious lump in his throat.

“Hi, Harrison.” You replied stiffly. In all honesty, you weren’t at all expecting him to actually come over to you and talk to you, not after the grocery store incident.

“Do you- do you want a beer? Or a Whiteclaw? We might have shots too.” Harrison offered. His cheeks heated up with a blush as he stuttered. If he thought he wasn’t good enough for you back then, he definitely felt inadequate now. The past four years had been good to you; you were even more beautiful in his eyes. And it definitely didn’t help that he knew you were a famous singer with probably numerous guys kissing at your feet.

“Could I have a Whiteclaw please?” 

“Uhuh, yeah,” He nodded, but his feet wouldn’t move. They’d fallen under your captivating spell. God, maybe Tom was wrong, maybe you were Medusa. 

“Everything alright?” You asked, pausing as you were going to follow him to the kitchen, yet he made no noticeable effort to move.

“Yeah, yeah.” His feet finally let him move. So far, so good; he had said all of ten words to you and he hadn’t completely frozen yet- and he hadn’t even walked away from you. As you followed Harrison into the kitchen, the other three Holland boys huddled in the crowd to sneakily watch.

“Wait, wait, that’s Harrison’s Y/N?” Sam asked quietly, just as surprised as Harry had been last week. Harrison was an actual mess as he tried to open your Whiteclaw for you, just to have it bubble over into his hands. The three other boys felt a wave of secondhand embarrassment hit them.

“This is painful to watch, but I can’t look away.” Harry laughed, taking a drink of his beer.

“You think this is painful? I had to sit through his schoolboy crush on her for years, I had to hear his every thought about her. And that includes his dilemma of asking her to formal.” Tom shook his head.

“Did he?” Sam asked.

“We were at a party and I think he got out the ‘will you’ part before running off to the bathroom. That’s the only time I’ve ever witnessed him vomiting from alcohol.” He shuddered, remembering having to console his incredibly drunk friend in the bathroom. Now, he was happy that Harrison was finally talking to you like you were a normal person or he was trying to. As if he was trying to will his friend some confidence, he murmured, “Just don’t choke, don’t walk away.”

“Here,” Harrison handed you a cup that he had transferred the Whiteclaw into, not wanting to give you back a sticky can. He washed his hands, acknowledging the sad Whiteclaw mark on his shirt.

“Thanks.” You replied, taking a sip of the drink.

“I’m sorry.” Harrison whispered, but with his back to you, the music blasting, and the sink still on, he knew you didn’t hear it. And he also knew that if he didn’t have the sound to drown out his words and if he turned to face you, he wouldn’t be able to recite his perfect speech. Sighing, he shut off the sink and turned to face you. As he started to speak, you looked at him and that was enough for him to not even make it past the “I”. Instead, he ended standing there and just moving his mouth, trying to get the words to come out.

“Yes?” You questioned. You remembered back at school that he was always nervous around you and you found it really cute and sweet. That was the main reason you were so interested in going on a date with him four years ago, and that was the main reason why you were so disappointed when he never showed up. Out of all the guys you’d ever met, Harrison was the one that you never believed would stand you up like that. It’d been four years, and you didn’t quite know if you still held a grudge over it. It hurt at the time because you really liked him and you thought he really liked you too, but years had passed so surely you should’ve moved on by now, right? And Harrison- he should have moved on too?

“I- um- ya know,” Harrison felt his tongue getting trapped in his throat. He wanted to scream out how sorry he was about everything and how much he actually cared about you, but the thought of actually talking anymore was making him want to vomit and he hadn’t even had that much to drink. Maybe alcohol with extreme nervousness wasn’t a good mixture for his body.

“Hey,” Tom approached you and Harrison, sweeping in to save his bumbling best friend.

“Hey, happy birthday.” You smiled at him. Harrison hung his head low in shame, he’d manage to mess it up again. He was more than thankful for Tom’s arrival.

“Thank you.” The birthday boy replied with a smile. He turned to Harrison and nudged him a little. “Harrison, what were you going to say?”

“Just, um-“ Harrison lifted his head to look at you, and suddenly wished he hadn’t. With your eyes resting on his intently and his heart beating fast, he could barely think. He thought back to his speech, back to those apologetic words he needed to say, back to his conversation with Tom just moments before the party. He quickly realized his mistake of thinking back to that recent memory because, before he could process his words, he helplessly blurted out, “You’re like Medusa.”

“Yeah- what?” Tom stopped himself, horrified at his friend’s words. He was fully prepared to back Harrison up, expecting him to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’- just anything besides ‘you’re like Medusa’. You just stood there with your eyes wide and jaw dropped. You didn’t even know what you were expecting him to say, but it definitely was not that.

“You know, like- you just-“ The blond tripped on his words, looking to Tom for help.

“What he means to say,” He sent his friend a glare before turning to you, “He’s sorry about your date years ago, and he finds you mesmerizing.”

“You know what? I don’t want to hear it.” You spoke angrily, feeling hurt by Harrison’s words. So much for the sweet and cute teenager you remembered. “Go fuck yourself, Harrison.” Before you even processed your own actions, you threw the rest of your drink on him and stormed out.

“I’m,” Harrison sighed in defeat as his body started to function without you there, “Sorry.”

“Medusa? Are you fucking serious?” Tom asked, infuriated at his friend’s idiotic words. He was grateful that the party was too loud for anyone to register your actions, except for Sam and Harry who were quick by Harrison’s side.

“What the hell happened?” Harry questioned.

“I fucked it up even more.” Harrison groaned, grabbing some napkins to try to wipe off his face and shirt.

“He said she was like Medusa.” Tom explained.

“Since when is your game with girls shit?” Sam stated.

“She is like Medusa though. I freeze whenever she’s there.” The poor blond kept trying to wipe himself off.

“Well you don’t tell her that!”

“I need to go change.” Harrison sighed, leaving for his bedroom without another word.

“We either need to help him get over her or help him get her back.” Harry said as he watched his friend’s retreating form.

“Tonight was supposed to be getting her back.” Tom huffed in defeat. “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

Back in his room, Harrison discarded his wet shirt and went to his closet to grab a fresh shirt. That’s when he spotted it- the blue button up he’d worn for his date with you. It was his favorite shirt in his teen years, everyone always complimented it and his eyes whenever he wore it; but it had negative memories surrounding it, the negative thoughts of what could have been. It was mocking him. Grabbing a different shirt, he slipped it on comfortably.

He didn’t want to go back to the party downstairs. He just wanted to stay within the comforts of his room, where he could hide from socializing and act like you didn’t just humiliate him, like he had humiliated you years ago. He had to admit, he deserved a Whiteclaw to the face; in fact, he’d absolutely let you pour an entire keg on him if it made you feel better. God, he was so whipped for you, and you didn’t even know it, and worst of all, you weren’t even his.

Sighing, he laid down on his bed, wanting to savor a few minutes alone. It took him a moment before he registered the soft crinkling of paper and realized he’d been laying on his prepared speech for you.

‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I know you’re probably still mad, but just hear me out. I’m four years too late, and that’s four years I should’ve shown you just how amazing you are. I remember the first day I saw you at school. You were the prettiest girl in our school by far; I’d never seen anything as magnificent as you. You were funny, sweet, confident, beautiful inside and out- you were my dream girl. It took me months to work up the courage to talk to you, and I was so pleased when you’d reply to my small greetings with a simple smile. And then it took me even longer to have a full conversation with you. Do you remember it? It was about When Harry Met Sally because you said it was your favorite movie. I told you that I had seen it, but I lied and you knew it too. You were too nice to call me out on that though. Honestly, I still haven’t seen it. I know we didn’t talk much in school, it was more of a ‘we’re friends because we share classes’ friendship, but I still cherished every single time I got to hear your voice.

I know you’re wondering why I stood you up back then, but I didn’t intentionally do it. I was there, at the fairgrounds, two minutes early, and I was stressing over everything- over how I didn’t have a clean jacket to offer you in case you got cold, how I should greet you at the gate, whether or not I should kiss you at the end of the night. You meant so much to me back then- you still do now, but I was too nervous. I couldn’t get out of my car once I saw you there in that blue dress with the dandelions. You were breathtaking, and I couldn’t comprehend how someone as incredible as you would want to go on a date with me. You had almost every single guy at the school in love with you, it just didn’t seem possible that I could win your heart. It took me an hour, but I finally got out of the car and I was going over to you. I was so anxious and I still didn’t know what to say to you. You didn’t realize I was there, but I heard you on the phone. You said you wore that blue dress because you thought it matched my eyes, because you thought I’d like it more, you thought it’d make me like you more.

But you didn’t need a baby blue dress to make me like you. I was so head over heels in love with you back then. You didn’t know it then, and I didn’t know it quite yet either, but you owned my heart. I know this is a lot, and I know this is cheesy, but I do love you. I regret what I did four years ago and I often contemplate how different our lives would be if I had actually shown up like I was supposed to. I don’t regret giving you my heart though; it’s been yours for years and it’ll probably always be yours. So please, will you give me another chance? Will you go on a date with me? And I promise to show up and make it worth your while. You own my heart, please give me a chance at yours.’

Harrison laughed lightly to himself. The note was a pathetic attempt at some grand declaration of love and an apology. As sad as the speech was, he hated himself for not saying it to you. Instead he called you Medusa, of all things to say that was the worst. He didn’t mean it as a put-down or as a derogatory statement; he meant that you were just so captivating to him that he froze whenever he saw you. Everything about you was so beautiful, and he really needed to tell you that, even though he was sure you already knew it. He knew what he meant, but it didn’t come across at all how he intended it to.

He set the paper on his desk and left his room, knowing Tom would be expecting him to return to the party. Freshly changed, he went back downstairs and spotted the other three boys still in the kitchen conversing- he bet it had something to do with him, seeing as they all immediately quieted down when they saw him coming towards them.

“You alright?” Tom asked, genuinely concerned about his friend, even though he was currently trying to plot getting you and Harrison at least in the same room together again.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Harrison replied. He gave his friend a reassuring smile, but he wasn’t fooling anyone really. He grabbed himself a new drink and went to get lost in the crowd. Tom sighed; maybe he shouldn’t have tried to push Harrison tonight, seeing his friend so upset just put a downer on Tom’s mood.

The night went on for Harrison though. Harry had been right last week- Shelby did bring some pretty attractive friends with her that she introduced to the blond (he thought mainly because Tom asked her to after the earlier events). One of them latched onto Harrison, and he didn’t mind the distraction, turning on his charm easily for her. Sam and Harry eyed their friend from afar as he flirted with the new girl; there was no denying Harrison could easily get a girl, which made it even more unbelievable that he was so tongue tied over you.

A few days passed and Harrison was still trying to recover from the party. His thoughts were still stuck on you. He couldn’t believe he had a second chance to talk to you and didn’t. Well, he did, but comparing you to Medusa wasn’t a good talk.

Unbeknownst to him, Tom had created an “ingenious” plan of getting Harrison to see you again, another shot for their friend to say something more than just a sad simile.

“We’re leaving now.” Tom said to Harrison as he and Harry started to walk out the door.

“Okay?” Harrison questioned. It was odd for any of them to announce that they were leaving the house. He had a strange feeling that his friends were up to something, but he couldn’t be bothered to actually care. What he didn’t realize was that Tom left with an envelope, encasing a familiar speech written by Harrison himself.

Hearing the front door close, he turned back to his phone in his hand. He took a sip of his tea as he continued to scroll through your Wikipedia page. Was it weird that he was looking you up? As long as no one knew, he felt like it was fine. He read over your brief background, which just said you were from Kingston.

He choked on his drink a little as he read over how you were discovered. You were singing one of your own songs in a cafe when an agent spotted you and eventually offered you a record deal. The song became your first official single and it was featured on your album of the same name. The song and album name? Dandelion. He could see it then, your blue dress with the delicate dandelion print on it with a denim jacket on top and a slightly damaged left pocket. He turned on the song on Spotify, listening to the lyrics, curious to see if it was about him. As the soft song began, he started to feel foolish; why would you have written a song about him? Maybe you just liked dandelions? Maybe you wore that dress on many dates? It looked incredible on you, so why wouldn’t you wear it often?

“Dandelion, a million little wishes float across the sky, but it’s a waste of breath and it’s a waste of time, I know,” You sounded almost sad as you sang, and Harrison assumed that’s what made you such a good singer, your emotion bled through into your songs, “‘Cause just like him, you always leave me crying, dandelion,”

Crying. Harrison made you cry when he stood you up. Maybe the song wasn’t completely about him, but something told him you may have been inspired after that night. He looked further into the song, wondering if maybe you had publicly said anything. Under the song’s Wikipedia page, it had a quote from you, saying “It was one of the worst nights of my life, getting stood up absolutely sucks and it’s embarrassing, but this song changed my life for the better, so I can’t help but feel a little grateful for that awful date”. As if the song didn’t already make him feel worse about it, you had confirmed it was about him, except no one knew that besides the two of you and anyone else who knew about that date specifically. Further looking into the seemingly endless page of information, he spotted the awards section. He couldn’t hide his pained smile as he read that not only was the song and album nominated for a Grammy, but you had actually won a Grammy for the song. So maybe there was a bright side to him not showing up that night because his actions made you write an incredible song.

As the song faded out, he jumped, hearing a sharp knock at the door. He quickly paused your music and closed out of his tab, not wanting anyone to have caught him basically stalking you online. He shoved his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and walked to the door, wondering who would be arriving unannounced. He opened the door and froze, just like a few days ago, as you stood on his doorstep. The small smile on your face faltered as you saw him.

“Y/N, what- what are you doing here?” He asked, trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were there and it wasn’t just a hallucination.

“Tom invited me. Something about using my music in a film?” You explained, and Harrison raised his eyebrows at you questioningly. You sighed lightly, “Can I just come in and see Tom?”

“He, uh, he isn’t here.” He replied. A light bulb went off in his head, realizing why Tom was literally announcing his departure; he wanted you to be alone with Harrison.

“He said he was here. I just talked to him on the phone.” You stated, not fully believing him.

“No, he isn’t here.” He shook his head.

“Well, um, then I’m going to go.” You said, turning around. Harrison’s mind was racing, you were about to leave him again. Tom had already tried once to get you two together; he couldn’t let his best friend down again, he couldn’t let himself down again.

“”Dandelion”.” Harrison blurted out, stepping out of his to catch you before you got into your car.

“What?” You questioned.

“”Dandelion”. It’s a really good song.” He grimaced, suddenly feeling lame for saying it out loud. He didn’t mean to bring it up, but he needed to say something to you, and dear God it needed to be better than the Medusa comment.

“Thanks, I won a Grammy for it, so,” You answered proudly, pursing your lips together.

“I- I know.” His flickered down to your hand that rested almost threateningly on your car door handle. You were just about to pull it and leave when he spoke up again, “That dress looked amazing on you.”

This time, it was you who froze. You weren’t wearing a dress now, you weren’t wearing one at the party, and you definitely weren’t wearing one at the grocery store. Your mind had already made up its decision of what he meant, but your heart wouldn’t accept that pain all over again. “It’s been four years, Harrison. You don’t get to say anything now. I thought you were better than standing up a girl on a date that she was genuinely looking forward to.”

Harrison couldn’t react fast enough to your seething words before you got in your car and slammed the door shut, driving off quickly without sparing him another glance.  Once your car was out of sight, Harrison screamed out in agonizing frustration. He had you right there, you were right in front of him, he was actually talking to you, and he still managed to mess it all up. It seemed like no matter what he said or did, you weren’t ready to forgive him, but he wasn’t even sure he deserved your forgiveness.

“You let her go again?” Tom questioned, coming around the far corner of the house with Harry.

“I thought you two left.” Harrison looked at the pair suspiciously.

“We had to make sure you didn’t fuck it up again, but seems like you did.” He sighed, shaking his head, “Why did you tell her you were there? That’ll make her feel worse!”

“At least you didn’t call her Medusa.” Harry added, earning a pointed look from Harrison.

“Just stop trying to set me up with Y/N. She’s clearly still mad at me over it, and I can’t keep going through this humiliating cycle of rejection.”  With that, Harrison wordlessly stormed back into the house and up to his room, angry at his friends for trying so hard to make this right, angry at you for rejecting him yet again, angry at himself for letting you go again and again. Could he get another chance with you after messing it up four years ago and at the grocery store and at the party and now? He so desperately wanted the answer to be yes, but he feared his chances with you were up.

Harry turned skeptically to his older brother as the two walked inside the house. “Are you sure that was a good idea?”

“He talked to her at least. He said a full sentence and it was a compliment.” He said proudly, walking into the kitchen with his brother following him.

“No, I’m not talking about that. I’m meaning your other plan.” 

“The letter? There’s two ways it can go: Y/N never talks to him again or she’s touched and reaches out to him.” He stopped, thinking for a moment, “Or she writes another Grammy-winning song about him being a dick. We’ll see in a few days what she does.”

“He’s going to hate you for this, you know that.”

“He won’t hate me when they’re on a date.”

“No, I’m pretty sure he’ll hate you for invading his privacy.”

“Whatever. Our plan is genius.” Tom smiled, extremely hopeful about his plan.

“Our? This was all your idea.”

“You’re an accomplice.”

“I’m a victim caught in the crossfire.” Harry held up his hands defensively.

Upstairs, Harrison was starting to grow worried. Where was his paper? He’d been running through it almost every day, hoping to grow the courage to tell you exactly how he felt. He was shit at words in person when it came to you, and he felt like he was even worse on paper. The speech was gone, and he had no clue where it was. He hoped no one had stumbled upon it- after all, he definitely hadn’t told his housemates about it.

Two days later, Tom started to get anxious, waiting for you to receive the letter and contact his friend. He thought perhaps it got put with fanmail, and you just wouldn’t see it for a while. He knew it was soon, but he was really, really impatient and he just wanted to do one thing right for his best friend, even if Harrison’s one request was for Tom to stop trying to be his wingman (in Tom’s defense, he told him to stop after the letter was sent and Harrison still didn’t know about it).

Trying to distract himself, Tom played Warzone with Harry. Neither of them had really talked about the whole letter situation, wanting the letter to take its own course. Just before they started another round, they heard a thud from Harrison’s room.

“What was that?” The older boy mumbled in confusion.

“Maybe he fell off the bed.” Harry laughed. His joke was short lived as Harrison came bolting down the stairs, phone in hand.

“Tom, give me your phone.” He insisted.

“Why?” Tom asked, handing over his phone anyway. After scrolling through it for a moment, Harrison’s eyes went wide.

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, looking between the two phone screens.

“What is it?” The two others questioned.

“Y/N- she texted me.” Harrison smiled in disbelief, handing his friend his phone back. He sat down in the empty armchair and looked at his phone in awe.

“What’d she say?” Tom spoke up, ignoring his brother’s questioning look.

“She just said ‘You get one date. Don’t mess this up’.” He read off his phone, and Tom turned to his brother, nudging him a little. You’d gotten Harrison’s letter (that Tom sent) and you’d given him another chance.

“What’d you respond with?” Harry asked.

“I haven’t responded yet. She just texted me.” He said, nervously moving his thumbs as his phone rested in his hands. “Do I just ask about this Friday?”

“You mean tomorrow?” Tom clarified and he nodded.

“Too soon?”

“No, go for it.” He encouraged his friend. He smiled proudly as Harrison typed out the text and sent it to you.

“I wonder what changed her mind. I mean she was really mad last time. What if she’s leading me on? What if she’s going to stand me up?” He rambled anxiously. God, you hadn’t even planned a date yet, and he was a nervous mess.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Tom reassured him. Harrison hurried out of the room, murmuring something about needing to plan the perfect date (round 2). Tom turned to his younger brother, “She wouldn’t stand him up as revenge, right?”

Harry shrugged with a small sigh. Well, the boys could hope your intentions were good.

As Harrison tried to reel in his head and racing heart in the quiet reserve of his room, he felt his phone vibrate with another text from you. ‘They’re showing When Harry Met Sally tomorrow night at the park. Pick me up at 7?’

That’s not at all what he expected to receive back from you. Well, he definitely didn’t expect a text from you in the first place, which is why he had to check that it was actually your number on Tom’s phone. He didn’t expect your response to his sorta lame ‘are you free tomorrow night’ to be you planning the date itself. And not only that, but you wanted to see When Harry Met Sally- the first thing he ever truly talked to you about.

He could still remember that conversation clear as day. You were sitting beside him in study hall and pulled out your iPod to listen to music, since your 2010 phone didn’t have any music on it. You didn’t realize your headphones weren’t completely in, and your music started to play quietly. Harrison heard the soft jazz song play and decided to ask you about it before you got too caught up in your work. You smiled, telling him how “It Had to Be You” was from the greatest movie of all-time (in your opinion) When Harry Met Sally. He told you he’d seen it before and thoroughly enjoyed it as well, but the blank stare on his face when you brought up Meg Ryan was a dead giveaway to you that he hadn’t actually seen it. And yet, you didn’t make a comment about it; instead you asked him about his favorite movie. Before he could respond, your teacher called for silence, making you focus back on your work with your headphones plugged all the way into your iPod. Harrison thought that perhaps he saw you blush as you turned away from him, but he was too preoccupied with his mind still trying to process that you two had a conversation, a tiny one but it was enough for him.

He couldn’t argue with you about seeing the movie at the park tomorrow. You were giving him another chance, and if you wanted to see a movie in the park then Harrison would make damn sure that you’d get to see a movie in the park, even if he had to set up the projector and screen all by himself. This was his fifth chance with you, he couldn’t mess this up again.

“Ok, now remember, Y/N’s a human being so talk to her like one.” Tom stated as he stood by the front door with Harry and Sam beside him. Harrison sat at the step at the bottom of the stairs, tugging on his shoes. His big date was finally here, and his friends were grilling him on making it perfect. It kind of helped, but it also stressed him out a bit more.

“And compliment her, but not in a weird way.” Sam added.

“Don’t even think about Medusa.” Harry piped in.

“You got a clean jacket?” The oldest Holland asked. Harrison ducked back into his room to grab a fresh jacket, one that was perfect for you to wear tonight if you got cold.

“And you have the flowers, right?” At Harry’s words, the nervous boy rushed into the kitchen to grab the small, modest bouquet of fresh roses he had gotten earlier.

“How do I look?” Harrison asked, seeking approval as he held the bouquet in one hand and his jacket and keys in another. In jeans and a casual yet dressy blue shirt, he hoped he looked good enough for you. He thought about wearing that blue shirt he wore last time, but decided against it- maybe that shirt has bad voodoo on it, he didn’t know and he didn’t want to test it.

“You look great, now go get her.” Tom ushered him out of the door.

With a confident yet nervous spring in his step, Harrison stepped inside his car. He delicately placed the flowers and jacket on the passenger seat, sure to not damage or dirty either of them. He made his way over to your place, his fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. ‘Don’t choke’ he reminded himself. He needed to just make sure he didn’t freeze when he saw you; that was the most important thing, especially since he’d be driving the two of you tonight.

He pulled up to your house just two minutes before he was meant to be there. Two minutes for him to get up and greet you at the door. Just as he was about to open his door and step outside, your front door opened. He sat there awestruck as he watched you lock your door and head over to his car. You were sporting jeans and a simple navy blue blouse, and he swore you looked absolutely gorgeous. He unlocked his car and you opened the door, not even giving him any time to actually greet you outside.

“I got you flowers.” Harrison said, grabbing the jacket and the flowers off the seat to make room for you to sit.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to.” You smiled softly, but still graciously accepted the flowers when he handed them to you. You smelled them and eyed the various pink and red roses that made up the bouquet, “They’re beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He replied, making you stifle a small laugh, even though you both knew how much he meant it. 

“You look pretty handsome, too.” You stated and he started his car back up. “Sorry for rushing out here. My roommate was driving me crazy.”

“I get it.” He laughed, thinking about just how crazy Tom had been acting the past couple weeks. Well, maybe his craziness rubbed off because it led to this moment right here- Harrison taking you on a proper date and hopefully, not freezing.

As Harrison drove over to the park, you two talked about basically everything, about how eager you were to show him this movie, about how his acting had been doing, about how his dog was (he was surprised you remembered Monty). All of it just made him feel more comfortable. Once he got past the wall of nerves from your presence, he was able to flick on his charm for you. You may have been his dream girl, but you were also just a regular person, a person he could hold a steady conversation with. When the two of you arrived at the park, he quickly rushed to the back of his car instead of walking towards the movie itself.

“I brought us a blanket and some snacks.” He explained when he saw your confusion. You smiled at him as he got out a large blanket and a bag of sweets and drinks from his trunk. You may have been the one to decide on the date itself, but he did his own part of the planning, ensuring you had a clean spot to sit and something to eat and drink while the movie played. “I didn’t know what snacks you liked so I kinda got some of everything.”

He opened the bag out to show you its contents and you peered inside. He had sweet candy, chocolate candy, salty snacks, just everything. You looked back up at him and a bright blush made its way onto his cheeks. In your eyes, he was back to being the sweet 19 year old you had agreed to go on a date with four years ago.

“It’s perfect.” You reassured him, but you weren’t even sure if you meant the snacks or the date or just him.

“Well, we better hurry if we want a good spot before the movie starts.” Harrison laughed lightly, closing the bag and shutting his trunk. You walked beside him to where the movie would be showing and found a nice spot near a tree. He laid out the blanket for you and the two of you sat down next to each other, but not enough to actually be touching.

“I’m genuinely excited for you to see this.” You told him as the ads finished, signaling the start of the movie.

“I am, too.” He smiled over at you one last time before the movie truly began. It was only a few minutes into the film when you shifted to lean in Harrison’s side. After the initial shock of your movement, Harrison wrapped an arm around your waist so that you could fall easily into his side while you watched the movie play out. Halfway through the film, he felt you shiver a little and quickly handed you his jacket. He smiled to himself, happy that he definitely did at least one thing right, as you thanked him for the warm jacket.

Sharing snacks with you throughout the movie, he found himself truly enjoying it. He could see how it was your favorite film, how you loved the featured song so much that it was your favorite song. He couldn’t help but acknowledge how it was a film all about second chances, or really just multiple chances with the same person over and over again until they both finally got it right. His history with you may not have been exactly like the film, but he felt like it still resonated; he wondered if you chose the movie completely on accident or if you had remembered about that first conversation, if you had thought of it as similar to your current situation.

His overthinking wasn’t done there though. As he drove you back to your place after the movie concluded, you two discussed the movie (this time with actually understanding who Meg Ryan is). He was a little dazed as he talked, trying to think of how to end the night. Would it be too forward if he kissed you? Because truth be told, he’d wanted to kiss you since the moment he saw you all those years ago. When he pulled up to your house, he was happy to see you still casually wearing his jacket. He didn’t want the night to end, especially considering he still hadn’t really apologized for four years ago, still hadn’t explained himself for what happened at the party, still hadn’t explicitly told you about the mesmerizing effect you had over him.

“Well, thank you for tonight. It was nice.” You spoke up with a smile.

“Yeah, it was.” He nodded, feeling himself start to choke up. He’d made it almost two hours without becoming speechless in front of you, and now at the end of the night, perhaps when it mattered most, he couldn’t speak. You waited a moment before getting out of his car, almost like you were expecting him to say something more. He watched your retreating figure, your right hand shoved deep into his jacket’s pockets. It hit him all at once; you were nervous, you were wearing his jacket, you were walking away from him again. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Wait!” Harrison rushed out of his car and hurried up the driveway to you on the porch. As you stood there in front of him, looking at him intently, his nerves came racing back to him, but he had to say the words. ‘It’s now or never’, he told himself.

“Okay, this is four years overdue, but here it goes.” He started with a small sigh, “I know you think I didn’t show the night I was supposed to meet you at the carnival, but I did. You were standing at the front gate. You were wearing a light blue babydoll dress with dandelions on it and a jean jacket, but the right pocket was ripped because you always used to shove your first in there when you got nervous.” You slowly looked down at your right hand, nervously in the jacket’s pocket. Speechless, you listened to him continuing on. 

“You were pacing back and forth that night and waited around for almost an hour before you walked away. And you were on the phone to someone when you walked away, telling them that you wore that dress so that it would match my eyes.” Harrison paused, swallowing down his nerves, “I was so nervous, I choked. And you know what, that hardly ever happens to me, but the truth is, Y/N, I think I liked you too much, and somewhere in the back of my head, I knew what that night would mean, and even how my life could be different now if I hadn’t let you walk away, but this a different moment, and- and it’s a chance to make a different choice.” He felt himself starting to choke up again, “And you’re really amazing, and I know we can’t go back in time, but I wish that there was some way-”

Harrison’s words were cut short as you grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Though he was incredibly stunned by the fact that you kissed him, his arms went to your waist, pulling you into him as he kissed you back passionately. The kiss ended all too quickly for him when you stopped it for air.

“Definitely four years overdue.” You smiled at him. If he wasn’t breathless already from the passionate kiss, your smile just his breath away even more.

“Thank you for giving me another chance. I really didn’t want to mess any of this up.” He admitted.

“Well, the letter was so sweet, I couldn’t say no.” You leaned in to kiss him again. He pulled back from the kiss though with wide eyes.

“What letter?” He asked.

“The one that you wrote? About me being the prettiest girl in school and how you were there when I thought you stood me up?” You explained, and his cheeks grew red in embarrassment.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” He groaned, “I wrote that just so I could apologize to you at the party and to tell you how much you mean to me. I didn’t mean to say you’re like Medusa- I just meant that you’re-” You cut him off with another kiss.

“You talk too much sometimes.” You laughed.

“I can get used to getting cut off like that.” Harrison smiled at you, kissing you again.

He may be mad at Tom for sending that private speech, but Harrison got the girl in the end so maybe his friend wasn’t the worst wingman ever.

[coeurdastronaute]

Essays in Existentialism: Boss

Prompt.. Lexa and Clarke sleep together one night, the next morning Clarke comes in to start her new job and turns out Lexa will be her boss (basically how Meredith and Derek first meet in grey's anatomy) yeah cool...love your writing

The tiny townhouse on the corner of Grant and Lincoln was nearly unpacked, but still occupied the unfinished zone of moving in. The furniture was there, with boxes opened and in various states of emptied. Sheets were tossed on the bed, but it wasn’t made. Clothes were rooted through and half hung in the closet at the top of the stairs. The only things in the fridge were little Chinese take out boxes and a handful of sauce packets. 

But that didn’t mean a thing to the bodies on the couch. 

Well tired and sated, the two tangled torsos and limbs hung and clung to each other on the small area, not having much to discuss the night before, but rather making the other body too tired to hear and speak and think, and thus fell asleep in a knot. It wasn’t many hours of sleep between the bar and the sex and the moment one of the bodies shifted and the otehr fell to the floor with a thud. 

“Ow.” 

“What was--”

“Just my back. And hip. And… head,” the body on the floor wheezed slightly, wincing against the pain. 

“Oh shit, it’s daylight,” Clarke squinted toward the windows witn no curtains or blinds and realized how late it was. “Oh fuck!”

“Seems to be.” 

The body on the couch sat up and hopped over the back before snatching the blanket and carefully wrapping it around her naked body. 

“I have to go. I have work...um…”

“Lexa,” she sat up from the floor, propping herself up on her elbows and looking up over the cushions. 

Completely naked, the girl on the floor smiled and pushed away a mess of hair while Clarke looked at her and blushed and tried not to look, desperately. She wanted to look, but that would distract her from the process of getting ready, and Clarke had to get to work. It was her first day, after all, beautiful naked sex god be damned. 

“Right. Lexa. Nice to meet you, but I have to--”

“Yeah, of course,” she nodded, tugging a pillow in front of herself to shield as much nakedness as possible. “Do you live here?” 

“Just moved.” 

“Cool. From where.” 

“I really have to-- It was fun and all--”

A pair of blank panties were held up from the floor by hands attached to a mischievous hand oddly victorious grin. Clarke remembered the same smile somewhere between the whiskey and tequila, the smile nd the eyes and the intent way the stranger in the bar listened to her words. More importantly, she remembered the fragments of the sex and the things that mouth could do and that was the reason for the victory, and it was deserved. 

“But you have to go to work,” Lexa repeated. 

With a graceless motion, Clarke reached over the couch and snatched the offending lingerie before agreeing full-heartedly. 

“It was nice to meet you, Lexa,” Clarke promised. “But when I come back downstairs, you’ll be gone, and I’ll be on my way to work.” 

“Right. Work. I should, too. It was nice, to uh, do this. Maybe we can again--”

The offer was barely acknowledged as Clarke hopped up the stairs and toward the shower, leaving Lexa smiling somewhat, amused at the display before she looked down at herself and chuckled at what the past five minutes of her life looked like. 

XXXXXXXXXX

It was incredibly stupid. It was monumentally stupid. It was the dumbest thing she’d ever done, or at least very close to the top of the long list. But after three weeks of refusing to unpack the house and dealing with the question of employment, Clarke couldn’t handle it any longer, and joined the land of the living again. Perhaps a bit too hard, which was, above all else, stupid. Incredibly stupid. 

Clarke didn’t have too much time to think about anything else as she sprinted into the tall building that had its own distinct imprint on the city. Hair a mess and shirt sloppily in the process of being tucked in, she flashed her badge and rushed toward the elevators as she repeated how stupid it’d been to get absolutely drunk and hook up with a stranger on the couch, and then not setting an alarm, for her first day of her dream job. 

Again and with emphasis, Clarke was an incredibly stupid and gay individual. 

“Ms. Griffin,” the receptionist greeted her with a smile. “I’ve been instructed to ask that you wait right here until Ms. Moore is finished with her phonecall.” 

“Right, of course,” Clarke nodded as she attempted to underplay how extravagantly winded she was. 

Grateful for the moment to process, Clarke took a seat in the reception and processed what the past hour of her life looked like. She somehow woke up and kicked out a very naked woman from her house, that she could almost remember the name of somewhat. And she’d run across town and made it to work. On time, or at least on time enough for her boss. 

Only when she’d caught her breath did Clarke realize that she never got Le-- La-- Lara? Lena? Larry? Fuck. She never got the stranger’s number. 

“Hey, Clarke, thanks for your patience.” 

The woman who interviewed her twice finally walked out from behind the hallowed doors of Woods Publishing, and Clarke gave up trying to remember and prayed she did not smell like as much tequila as she’d inhaled the night before. 

“I’m so happy to be here, Ms. Moore,” she grinned and shook the outstretched hand. 

“Luna is fine. We’re the creatives,” she winked and led Clarke toward the door. “We get a little more freedom than the stuffed shirts in editing and sales.” 

As they moved down the hall, there was a minute smell of weed, and Clarke realized that this job was going to be better than she’d ever imagined. 

“I thought for your first day, I’d kind of get you set up, take you to our morning huddle and pitch meetings, and then after lunch make you meet everyone in a super awkward and invasive department bash.” 

“Bash?” 

“Yeah, well, people stop coming when I call them meetings and ice-breakers. I’ve decided to rename things different, more fun words to trick them into the same meetings.” 

“How’s it going so far?” 

“Amazingly well. Just wait until you see the turn out for your meet-and-greet… I mean bash.” 

Clarke couldn’t help but smile. Her boss was calm and cool, funny and approachable, and most importantly, she was clearly very into her job, which was a godsend. Hiring was often abou personality and camaraderie, as in how well a new personality would fit into a team, and Clarke already felt at home. 

The day went by easily enough, as all first days are known to do. She met her team and got her desk, got to feel out a little of how the day flowed with the promise of her assignments arrival soon enough. Luna passed her off around lunch to one of the teammates, and Clarke fell into enjoying her new coworkers with very light company gossip over not terrible sandwiches in the cafeteria. She learned all about the office romances and the merger, the new corporate structure and how great it was compared to other companies. She learned about the owner’s daughter who started a few months ago and was actually nice to work for, and more importantly, Clarke learned that there was a very lax policy when it came to punctuality. She breathed a sigh of relief. 

By the end of the day, Clarke felt like she would like it there, and was eager to help and work on drawing some of the projects. She was ready to work with the team and she was ready to finally be creative and produce something. 

“Thank you all again, for welcoming Clarke to our team,” Luna grinned and held up her glass as the rest of the team did the same. 

She was right, of course, that calling it a bash did something to make them all want to stay a few minutes later and mingle. 

“Enjoy the gift baskets sent from the studio for our last project, but within reason. And we’ll jump right in tomorrow.” 

“Thanks,” Clarke smiled and accepted a drink. 

“I’ll see you bright and early. We’ll get you started on part of our new programming and onto the new project.” 

“I can’t wait.”

Clarke found herself pulled into a conversation over artwork for the storyboard on the wall in the main rom, and even though it was technically about work, the other artists were more than eager to talk about their plans, even over drinks. 

And then she looked up and nearly spit out her drink before turning around very quickly so that her back was to the familiar green eyes and the person she’d kicked onto the floor that very morning. 

“Looks like the boss decided to make a stop. I’m going to finally ask her out,” one of the guys decided as he stood a little straighter and awkwardly fixed his hair. 

“There’s no way Lexa Woods gives you the time of day,” Raven scoffed, sipping her drink and sneaking a look at the grinning CEO. “I bet you twenty bucks she doesn’t even speak to you.” 

“She’s really nice.” 

“Oh, I know. But I bet she won’t even notice you.” 

Clarke felt the blood leave her face as she hurried to sneak another look to confirm that it was, in fact, hell freezing over. And sure enough, for some stranger reason, in a city of hundreds of thousands of people, she was in the same room as the stranger she drunkenly hooked up with sixteen hours beforehand. 

And that stranger was her boss’ boss’ boss’ boss. That stranger was Lexa Woods, CFO of Woods Publishing, daughter of the owner, inheritor to the castle. 

“What do you think, Clarke?” Raven turned toward her. Just five minutes ago, Clarke liked Raven, but now, she wanted to disappear and Raven was blocking the exit. “Think Dan here has a chance?” 

“I don’t really know anything about her,” Clarke shrugged and downed the rest of her drink, careful to stay turned around. 

She didn’t know anything about Lexa Woods, except how she tasted and the noises she made and this thing she did with her fingers that--

“She hasn’t been here long, but she’s actually not the worst, as far as suits go. She likes the creative floors. Her dad’s given her a few projects I’ve been on and I think we work pretty well together,” she explained, offering Clarke a refill. 

“Cool, cool, nice.” 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or you’re a very bad drinker.” 

“I, uh, had a few too many last night.” 

“Hair of the dog then,” Raven grinned and clinked their glasses. “I think I’m going to like having you around, Griffin. At least until you start asking for advanced tech and drive me crazy with your doodles. Oh shit, there he goes.” 

Despite herself, Clarke turned around and watched the illustrator move through the crowd. She looked immediately at Lexa and actually caught her eye. She held the look and she watched Lexa smile at her, though she couldn’t move to return it. Mortification was at the forefront of her brain. That and oddly proud of herself for pulling someone like Lexa Woods, even when she wasn’t on her A game. 

Only when Clarke saw Dan get close, did she look away and break the stupor she found herself stuck in. 

“I can’t believe he hasn’t figured out that she’s gay.” 

“What?”

“Dan has the worst gay-dar of all time,” Raven chuckled. “I almost feel bad taking his money. Almost.” 

Sure enough, as he walked up toward his boss’ boss’ boss, full of confidence and vim, Lexa didn’t even notice him, her eyes firmly locked on Clarke’s as she moved through the crowd, finally deciding to approach. It took a few steps before Clarke realized what was happening, and only then did she feel the two and a half drinks she’d had. 

She really didn’t like Raven. 

“I knew it.” 

Clarke didn’t say a word, but rather looked for a quick escape, though none existed and she already knew that. 

“Hey, I thought I’d come welcome you to the team personally. I’m Lexa Woods.” 

With a smile and her hand outstretched, the CEO stood there, as if she hadn’t gone down on her new employee on her couch. 

“Lexa Woods, as in…” 

“Yeah, that’s my name outside, but don’t hold it against me,” she grinned, holding the handshake a little bit longer. “It was Callie, right?” 

“Clarke.” 

“I’m sorry. Clarke.” 

“I didn’t expect to see you on my first day.” 

“Yeah,” Lexa chuckled. “I can imagine. I like hanging out down here more than upstairs. How are you, Ms. Reyes?” 

“Doing alright,” Raven nodded, appraising the scene before her. “Taking Clarke under my wing, as it were.” 

“I’d be careful,” the boss warned. “It was nice to meet you again, Clarke. I’ll see you guys later. I have a meeting I should try to get to ontime. Punctuality is key.”

Clarke burned red and nodded. 

“Nice to meet you, too, Ms. Woods.” 

“Lexa’s fine.”

“Yeah you are.” 

Lexa just smiled and waved again before disappearing. Dan joined the group a second later and passed a twenty to his friend. The boss left the room a moment later without a look back, and Clarke finally breathed. 

“So,” Raven furrowed. “When did you fuck our boss?” 

XXXXXXXXXX

For three weeks, Clarke managed to avoid all thoughts and ideas of Lexa Woods, CEO and absolute beauty. She didn’t avoid her social media, nor did she avoid much of the idle gossip about her at work, but for the most part, Clarke refused to think about her as much as possible, which amounted to about never. 

Sometimes at work, she was able to go for hours, focusing on her projects. Sometimes, Clarke found herself avoiding areas she suspected she might show up, and for three glorious weeks, she was fairly successful. 

Bent over her drawing board, Clarke found herself in a period of Lexa-less thoughts, happy to escape her life and all else, and instead find some sort of outlet for everything she’d been feeling over the past year. 

“These are very good.” 

“Fuck, you scared me,” Clarke breathed, turning around quickly. “I mean. Not fuck.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t followed up,” Lexa smiled softly, hands tied behind her back as she perused Clarke’s wall of sketches for the short they were doing. “I was out of town on business. How is your first month going, Ms. Griffin?” 

“Do you take such an interest in all of your employees, or just the ones you seduce?” 

“I believe you were the one seducing. I was drunk and adorable and you took advantage of me in my drunk and adorable state.” 

Clarke balked and grit her teeth before seeing that Lexa was making fun of her, which did nothing to calm her. 

“Someone who pins the other to their front door, is not being taken advantage of.” 

She smiled again and Clarke found it infuriating. And hot. But also infuriating a little more. 

“I did do that, didn’t I?” Lexa nodded. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to address that… trist.” 

“It was a fluke, and I think we should stay professional. Like we have.”

“I thought I was keeping it fairly professional.” 

“I just mean, you can’t-- we don’t have to talk about that… trist.” 

“Or we could?” she waited to gauge Clarke’s reaction. “Or not. Definitely not. Very professional. Just pretend it never happened.” 

“Exactly. Thank you for stopping by, Ms. Woods.” 

“Lexa is still fine. We’re going to be working together a bit. Everyone calls me Lexa.” 

“Professional,” Clarke repeated. 

“Casual, even. Professionally casual.” 

“Exactly.” 

XXXXXXXXX

“Professional,” Lexa nodded to herself and tried to catch her breath. The naked body beside her repeated the same thing with a sigh. 

“But we can’t do that again. We were just scratching an itch,” Clarke reasoned as Lexa agreed, humming along with the familiar song. 

If any of that were true, she wouldn’t have been naked in Clarke’s half-made bed, next to a full-naked girl. If she had anything to say about it, they’d be doing it much more and often and professionally. But she was the boss, and she wasn’t allowed to make that call. Clarke had to make it. And Lexa was very grateful that Clarke made it. 

It wasn’t Lexa’s fault that they enjoyed the same bar, or that they happened to notice each other, and it wasn’t her fault that she liked kissing Clarke. 

“I quite like scratching that itch with you.” 

Lexa turned her head and watched Clarke smile before regaining her composure. 

“Don’t sweet talk me, Woods. I’m your employee.” 

“Yeah, but like, only kind of.” 

Clarke turned and gave her a look before Lexa chuckled and rolled toward her, pressing her luck as she pressed against Clarke, kissing her shoulder and her neck. 

“What are we supposed to do?” Clarke turned over as well. “Go into HR and tell them we’re sleeping together?” 

“I could fire you?” 

“Lexa.”

“I could quit?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Or you could agree to go on an actual date with me, and promise not to take your clothes off.” 

“You’re the one that takes them off of me!” 

Despite her wiggling, Clarke let Lexa pull her closer. She ran her fingertips along Lexa’s cheek, squishing her cheeks together so she was making fish lips and smiled at the display, amused at herself and how Lexa let her do that. 

“I zwant tovee hrofeshinal widzth you. Vutd I sink I alike you.” 

“You sound ridiculous.” 

Lexa sighed until Clarke let go of her cheeks, unable to keep the smile there. Instead she held her chin now, between her forefinger and thumb, keeping her steady and there. Fingertips moved up and down her back. 

“I think we can do this without messing up work.” 

“How?” 

“We just don’t work together. I’ll stay off of your projects. Luna has complete control over personnel and who is on what.” 

“If it goes bad?” 

“Then I’ll definitely quit. Sell the company probably. Move to Zurich,” she decided. 

“That plan developed quickly.” 

“It’s always in my back pocket in case a beautiful girl who works for me creates a problem. I will not be caught unprepared again.” 

“Again?” 

“It’s an expression.” 

“Mmm,” Clarke smiled and nodded. 

She didn’t waste a moment. She leaned forward and kissed Lexa because she had to be certain, and she had to find some kind of bravery. She should think about it more, and she should have made a pros and cons list, but something about this moment, this person, Clarke just felt alive, and she’d been chasing it for so long. 

“Did I get the job?”

“You got a date. One date.” 

“I can work with that.”

[alpacaparkaseok]

Where you should be

7. Habromania

Genre: Hobi x oc

Warnings: this series contains stalking, blackmail, and similar stressful/fear inducing situations. Also unrequited love, which is perhaps the most terrifying of all.

Word Count: 3.2k

a/n: A song you might want to be familiar with for this chapter is ‘Puma’ by TXT. First off, because it’s a freaking bop. Secondly because Sunny has a bit to do with it and it sets some of the tone for the second part of this chapter. Thanks guys! And, as always, feedback/questions is always welcomed and encouraged!

Habromania (n.) delusions of happiness

“We can be sneaky, can’t we?”

I snort at Hobi’s question. “I can, not you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” He feigns offense, stealing his hand away from mine as he clutches his chest. It doesn’t take long before its back, though, running his fingers over my knuckles. The other hand remains on the steering wheel.

“You’re horrible at being sneaky. Imagine having to be sneaky around your boss.”

Hoseok sighs. “You’re probably right.”

“...but?”

He glances over at me before turning his attention back to the road. “But, I think I can do it. It’s important. Sure, it’ll be hard. But worth it, don’t you think?”

Giving his hand a tight squeeze, I smile out the window. “Yeah.”

As soon as we left the small restaurant, the both of us received a text from Bang PD instructing us to be extra careful and keep our distance from each other. The last thing we need are more photos.

Which left us with one question: what now?

“I feel kind of cool,” Hobi says, his heart-shaped smile making me grin. “Like we’re secret agents or something.”

I chuckle. His idea was to essentially have a secret relationship. I agreed to it, not seeing any other options, but only after Hoseok told me again and again that he had a plan and that this secrecy would be temporary.

“I give you less than two weeks.”

“Really?” The car begins to slow as we reach my apartment building. It’s barely 1 in the afternoon, but Hoseok did tell Bang PD that he was going to take me home. It’d look a little strange if we strolled back inside the Bighit building.

I give him a long look, delighting in the way his lips form a little pout. I force myself to look away before I can lean over and kiss him. Knowing him, he’d probably crash the car.

“Maybe three weeks.”

Hobi laughs as he turns into the parking lot. “How generous. And what? You think that you can do better?”

Winking at him as he parks the car, I slowly take my seatbelt off. “Oh, without a doubt.”

It’s quiet in the car as I contemplate getting out. Even though I know that I’ll see Hobi at work, I don’t know when I’ll get to be with him again like this. He seems to be thinking the same thing, killing the engine as he sits back with a sigh.

“What are you going to do with the rest of your day?” He keeps his eyes on the building, but I know what he’s thinking.

“Come inside.”

He blinks at me. “Wow, so forward!”

Groaning, I hit his shoulder. “You know that’s not how I meant it!” Hobi’s laugh only makes me more embarrassed as my cheeks heat up at the insinuation in my words. “Yah! Not funny!”

Taking both of my hands in his and placing a delicate kiss atop them, his laughter finally subsides. “I can dream, can’t I?”

I’m pretty sure my eyes are popping out of my head as I throw the door open, internally screaming and making a beeline for the entrance. Hobi gets out of the car as well, trailing after me and chuckling darkly.

By the time we make it up to my apartment, I feel like I may melt through the floor at any given moment from the way Hoseok’s eyes are practically undressing me. His fingers dance along my shoulders, getting lost in my hair as he peppers kisses along my jawline.

Fumbling with my key, I silently curse myself for feeling as giddy as a teenager with something so simple as Hoseok’s eyes. I don’t miss the way he smiles against my skin, making me huff in annoyance.

Since when did he become so bold?

I practically slam the door shut as we enter my apartment, Hoseok breaking away from me to look around the room in awe. I can’t help but laugh at his reaction.

“What, have you never been inside a girl’s apartment before?”

He rolls his eyes. “This is...this is your apartment.”

“So?”

He shrugs, wandering back over to me. “It’s nice. I like it.”

I frown, looking around the apartment. It’s a decent place to live; I’ve tried my best to make it look like a home. But in comparison to the immaculate place that Hobi calls home, I hardly see anything to marvel over.

“Why?”

Standing in front of me and looking over every square inch of my face, he gives me a smile so soft that I find myself sighing in contentment.

“It feels like you.”

♟

April 2020

Work falls into a familiar pattern. Granted, I have to avoid Hoseok like the plague, but Bang PD keeps everyone busy enough that it isn’t too difficult.

That, and the meetings we hold every day in Bang PD’s office, trying our best to sort out the entire situation.

“You’re telling me he wants either 1 billion won or a position here?” Bang Si-hyuk sputters out, looking absolutely appalled. “This...this is blackmail!”

Hobi chuckles beside me, Namjoon sitting on his other side and looking none too happy to be a part of this meeting. However, he is the leader of the group.

“Yes, well, I think he did actually state that this was blackmail,” Hobi remarks. “Are you really that surprised?”

Fixing him with a glare, Mr. Bang’s veins look like they’re about to burst. “You’re one of the people that got us into this mess, Hoseok. I’d save the snide comments for later, if I were you.”

These meetings have been going on for a couple of weeks now, and everybody's reaching the end of their patience. Any time we attempt to negotiate with Jihun, he spirals out of control and comes back with a higher demand.

It’s becoming rather tedious.

“Why can’t we just give him what he wants?” Namjoon asks gingerly. “At the end of the day, as long as he leaves us alone, it’s fine, isn’t it?”

Mr. Bang shakes his head. “No. There is no way I’m giving him that much money, and we all know that I would never let him be employed here. He’s a pimp. We don’t do business with his type.”

I stare down at my hands as I wince at his words. While I’m grateful that he isn’t considering giving him a job here, I can’t help but pity him. If what Jihun told me was true; I’m part of the reason his marriage failed.

“He has a daughter,” I mumble under my breath.

“What was that?”

I blink up at Mr. Bang. “He has a daughter.” When he just continues to stare at me with a confused expression, I do my best to articulate my thoughts. “He’s a human being. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he freaks me out. I don’t support any of this, but he’s desperate for something to help him and his family survive. We shouldn’t be making him into some sort of monster-”

“As the two of you made clear to me, this is my company that’s in trouble, so I will treat this threat as I would any other.” Bang PD sits back in his chair, squinting at his computer screen. “Or have you forgotten that your job is also at stake here?”

Clenching my jaw, I see Namjoon laying a hand on Hobi’s shoulder. “Then fix this.” Rising from my chair, the strict tone of Mr. Bang’s voice stops me.

“What?”

Turning to face him fully, I struggle to keep my voice level. “Fix this. Quit talking about it so much and do something. I have work to do.”

Striding out the door, I barely catch Bang PD’s incredulous words. “It’s a good thing she’s talented-”

Namjoon cuts him off. “So what’s our plan of action? Sunny’s right, this has to end.”

♟

I’m staring at the monitor in front of me, only half-listening to what Yeonjun is saying to me as my blood boils.

Or have you forgotten that your job is also at stake here?

I have to fold my arms in order to hide the fact that my hands are currently clenched into fists. Yeonjun and Soobin are talking to both Pdogg and I, going over a track that we’ve been preparing.

“I really like the feel of this all so far, but I feel like we need something a bit more...edgy?” Soobin frowns, looking down at his phone where he compiled his notes. “We really want to have a sharp album, you know?”

I nod, finally returning to reality. “Has anybody come up with any ideas? Lyrics, melody?”

Yeonjun shakes his head. “Actually, I was going to ask if either of you wanted to help us come up with something. I know that we’re dropping the album in May, but-”

“I can do it.”

Pdogg and Yeonjun raise their eyebrows. “That was quick.”

Pdogg shakes his head. “I think Yeonjun is talking about creating a track from scratch, Sunny. That means that after you finish the music, you’ll need to write the lyrics, too. Right?” He looks to Yeonjun for confirmation.

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “Honestly, if you want to do it, I won’t stand in your way. I’m just happy that you want to with such short notice.”

“You think you can crunch it? This is your first time through the entire process, it’s ok if you want to try the next time around and have more time.” Pdogg reassures, still looking confused at my sudden change in attitude.

I shake my head. “No, I can do it. I need to.” The thinly veiled threat on my job pushes me forward, desperate to show Bang PD that I’m not the kind of person that runs away under pressure.

“Alright,” Soobin says, looking at Yeonjun with a shrug. “I guess...do you need us for anything? When can we expect to come in and take a look at the song?”

Ignoring Pdogg’s stare, I glance at my calendar. “Soon. Give me the rest of the week?”

♟

My desk is a flurry of notes, post-its, and discarded ideas. After a brainstorming session, I consulted Pdogg in the next step of the song process. He helped me solidify my idea, offering a couple of tips and pointers.

He’s in the middle of saying goodbye when there’s a light knock on the door.

“I’ll grab it,” he says. I turn back to my monitor, trying to make sure I get everything put together before I forget it.

Muffled voices at the door don’t bother me as my fingers fly across the keyboard. Line after line appears, forming the first verse of the song.

“Hey.” Hobi grabs the chair that Pdogg just vacated. “What’cha working on?”

I glance at the clock, realizing with a start that it’s already 8 o’clock. “New song for TXT.”

“Hm.”

We sit in silence as I continue working, Hobi knowing better than anyone not to interrupt my creative process. He knows how hard it can be to get back into the zone.

It isn’t until nearly nearly thirty minutes later that he finally breaks the silence, but not by speaking. Bringing a gentle hand to rest atop my own that has stilled over the keyboard, he intertwines our hands together.

I lean back against my chair, sighing. Hobi chuckles lightly beside me, completely understanding the feeling.

“It looks like you got a lot done,” he mumbles, using his other hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

“I think I did,” I whisper, still unable to tear my eyes away from the screen. I’ve been completely sucked in, my mind loud with the sound of the beat and the lyrics I’ve written down.

“Should I take you home?”

I shake my head. “No. I’ll take the bus.”

Silence. He raises my hand to his mouth, dusting light kisses over my knuckles. “We’re paying him off.”

Startled, I finally shift my gaze to Hobi. My breath falls short as I see his hair swept back, styled to make him look like some sort of CEO. He must have had a shoot today that I forgot about.

“Really?” I breathe out. He gives me a soft smile, pressing one more delicate kiss atop my knuckle before lowering my hand and enveloping it in both of his.

“Really. Bang PD will just have to swallow his pride.”

I chuckle lightly, shaking my head. “How’d you convince him?”

He shrugs. “I can be persuasive when I want to. We won’t have to worry about him anymore.”

While his words are intended to give me comfort, I find myself doubting them. Something tells me that this mess is far from over, but I smile at him nonetheless. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Hobi gets up from his seat, embarrassed as he starts heading toward the door. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

I look back at my screen. “No, I think I’ll stay here for a little longer.”

“Oh, well then I’ll st-”

“Go home, Hobi,” I turn my chair around to face him. “Don’t worry about me, I just want to finish some of this up. I won’t be long.”

“Good. That way I won’t have to wait long.” Stubborn as ever, he sits back down. “Should I order some food?”

Giving him a long look, I fight the guilt gnawing at me for making him stay even longer. But I really just want to get as far as possible with this project…

“Let me split the cost?”

Laughing darkly as he holds his phone up to his ear, he winks. “In your dreams.”

♟

“I really, really like it, Rin-ah.”

Fidgeting with my hands, I chew on my lip. “Really? Is it too much? I don’t what to overwhelm-”

Cutting me off with an incredulous look, Hoseok shakes his head before pulling my chair away from the computer. “Yes. Positive. They’ll love it. I mean, it’s such a cool idea. You said it was based off a true story?”

I nod, reaching in vain for the desk, I groan as Hobi keeps pulling my chair away. He laughs at my expression.

“Do you have a title idea?”

I shrug, finally giving in and allowing myself to be pulled away. “I’ll probably just keep it simple. Like, ‘Puma’ or something.”

Hobi throws away all of our food containers, nodding to himself. Tossing me my coat and making sure everything is saved and shut off, he opens up the door. “They’ll think it’s amazing.”

Shutting off the lights, Hobi makes a show of double checking that the hallway is clear before grabbing my hand and making his way toward the elevator. It’s only when we’re in the confines of the elevator that he asks me a question.

“What made you want to do it? This usually isn’t your style.”

I let out a long breath, instantly remembering my outburst with Bang PD earlier in the day. “I want to be good at everything. I…” I lean back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. “I know that sounds stupid, but after Bang PD said that about my job, I felt like I had to do something more. Prove myself to him.”

“Mm.”

“It was time for me to expand. Try something new. And I was already pissed off, so when the boys asked for a more edgy track, I felt like I could do it.”

“Well, you’ve done very well with it.”

I see that Hobi also has his head angled upward toward the ceiling. From this angle, I wonder how I can see him so often and still feel like it’s the first time I’m looking at him.

He looks golden in the dim elevator, the lights picking out the paler shades in his hair and setting them alight. With his hands clinging to the railing at his back and his eyes falling closed, I wonder for a moment if this is right.

“How did I get so lucky?”

I ask the question more to myself than to him, but he hears me nonetheless. Ears perking up and tilting his head to look at me almost with the same mannerism as that of a golden retriever, Hoseok shakes his head.

“I wouldn’t call this luck,” he murmurs. “We’ve fought for this, haven’t we?”

At his words, I feel the exhaustion of the past few weeks sinking in. Sneaking around and hiding our relationship from everyone hasn’t been easy. Trying to navigate a brand new relationship without being able to actually spend much time together is tricky, especially when we are still healing from the hurt we’ve caused each other over the past few months.

Closing my eyes against the reality of our situation, I tuck the image of golden Hoseok in the elevator into the corners of my mind. “Do you think that we’ll ever get to rest?”

It’s quiet for a long moment as Hobi ponders my question. We both know what I’m really asking: will we ever stop hiding?

“Someday.” His voice is solid as he answers me. “For now, I think the seconds between floors 8 and 1 are enough to keep me pushing forward.”

For now, standing side by side and quietly speaking on the elevator, basked in golden light and listening to the whir of the machine are all we need.

However, will there ever come a time when this is no longer thrilling? When Hoseok decides to just leave early rather than hanging around with me?

What if I’m not enough?

Indeed, peeking over at Hoseok who currently resembles some sort of fallen deity who’s basking in the golden light, I can’t help but wonder what it is that keeps him coming back.

Now that I’m finally giving in to his pursuit, will it be over?

The ding of the elevator reaching the ground floor does little to pull me out of my daze, and it isn’t until Hoseok is looking back at me from the other side of the doors that I push off the wall and follow him out into the night.

That night as he drops me off outside my apartment building and pulls me in for whispered ‘I love yous’ and stolen kisses, I can’t find it in myself to bring it up. How do I begin telling him that I’m not sure I’m worth the trouble when he’s sure to write it off as some sort of crazy idea?

As I go to open the door, he grabs my hand, looking at me with a concerned expression.

“You sure everything’s alright? You seem...off.”

I lean across the console, watching with delight as his eyes widen. Swooping around, I kiss his cheek before retreating, laughing a little at his deflated expression.

“I love you.”

He gives a contented sigh. “I love you, too.”

Walking into my apartment building, I hope that he doesn’t realize that I completely avoided his question. I kick my shoes off with a sigh as soon as I enter my apartment, turning around to flick on the lights and lock the door. Making my way toward my bedroom, I don’t see the dark figure resting on my couch until their dark chuckle reaches my ears.

“You were out late tonight.”

Whirling around and stumbling backward until my back hits the wall, I stare in horror as Jihun turns on the lamp beside the couch. He holds up a wine glass, giving me a saccharine smile.

“Come sit down.” Filling the glass to the brim with red wine, he extends it to me. “We’ve got a lot to celebrate.”

Previous - Next

taglist is open!

taglist: @taylorroe3​ @dreamcatcherjiah @diorhoba @eusticenatalie @ddaeng-i-need-help

[svgurl410]

clois fic

Title: i’m broken and it’s beautiful (can someone just hold me, don’t fix me) Fandom: Smallville Pairing/Characters: Clark Kent/Lois Lane (mostly pre-relationship) Rating: G Word Count: 3063 Summary: A sad anniversary, a broken locket, and a talk that promises a brighter future.  A/N: for the poetry_fiction (DW) 2021 challenge; prompt: I'll be the things left behind for you, I'll be much kinder then. I'll kiss the drowning atmosphere all a summer's afternoon, and that's not all.

AO3 link 

The rooftop of the Talon was quiet and peaceful and yet the silence wasn’t at all comforting. It was still better than being alone inside her apartment, since Lois couldn’t bring herself to be around other people, which is why she had been actively avoiding her friends all day. Well, for the past two days really.

She didn’t actually like being alone, but she needed the space. The downside of making that decision was that she had to turn down dinner at the Kents, and as much as she regretted missing out on Mrs Kent’s cooking, she knew she wouldn’t be very good company.

Glancing down at her phone, she swallowed down the disappointment as she realized that the two people she hoped would call yet knew probably wouldn’t hadn’t. She shouldn’t be surprised; after all, it’s not like her dad or Lucy had acknowledged this day, but Lois’s stupid hopeful heart wouldn’t let her give up.

You’re a sad fool. Which wasn’t anything new and likely wouldn’t change. She finally pocketed her phone, accepting defeat, as her other hand fingered a broken locket, the metal chipped and the chain having snapped years ago. It had been her mother’s, and it was one of the few things she carried around wherever she went. While Lois didn’t have that many memories of her mom, she remembered her wearing the necklace all the time, pictures of her family kept inside, always close to her heart.

Lois herself had never worn it, but she also couldn’t let go either. Letting go was never her style. Then again, it felt like she was the one people let go of, as everyone else always left her behind, from her family to the men she dated. Staring out into the night sky, she wondered if she was just destined to be alone, her heart aching at the thought, feeling as cracked and chipped at the locket in her hands.

Yet, unlike the locket, she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to be fixed, just accepted for who she was, broken parts included, but at this point, that seemed like a pipe dream. As if anyone wants to sign up for that.

A sudden noise shook her out of the path she was on, and she spun around, ready to snap at whoever dared to interrupt her solitude. Much to her shock, it was none other than Clark who had entered through the door leading to the rooftop, carrying a white plastic bag in his hands.

“Smallville,” she said, surprised evident in her tone and expression. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, making his way to her, and offered her the bag. “Mom felt bad that you missed dinner tonight and she sent me over here with some food.”

Feeling touched, Lois’s lips curved into a smile at the thought of Martha Kent’s generosity. The other woman had been nothing but kind to her, and more welcoming than she deserved. She and Jonathan both, and Lois felt an ache in her heart as she remembered him, still not completely over the pain of his sudden death.

Their fingers brushed as she accepted the bag, causing an unexpected spark ran through her spine, and she barely refrained from jerking her hand away at the feeling. Keeping her expression as neutral as she could manage, she moved her hand away, fingers clutching around the plastic straps.

“Thanks,” she said, hoping she didn’t reveal anything in her voice or facial expression. “Got stuck playing delivery boy then?”

“Something like that,” Clark replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “We haven’t seen you around in a few days so I figured I would drop by to see what’s up.”

“Aww, Smallville, I didn’t know you would miss me that much,” Lois teased.

“I never said I missed you,” he protested. “Just making sure you were still in one piece. I’ve seen the trouble you can get into on your own.”

“And you were worried about me,” she said triumphantly. “No need to hide it. I’m touched, truly.”

He rolled his eyes, and she smirked, already feeling better.

“More like the house was quiet, and the fridge was full for once,” Clark countered.

“With you around?” she retorted. “I doubt it.”

“And Shelby might have missed you,” Clark continued, as if he hadn’t heard her. “But he likes to chase his own tail, so there’s really no accounting for taste on his end.”

“Jealous your dog likes me better?” Lois asked. “Don’t worry, I’ll visit soon.”

“I’m sure he’ll be relieved,” Clark said, dryly, leaning against the railing.

“I know he’s not the only one,” she said, nudging him.

“Yes, I was terrified that you had found someone else to harass,” Clark remarked, glancing at her out of the side of his eye, his lips twitching into an easy grin, which she couldn’t help but return.

“Don’t worry, Smallville, I’ll never replace you,” she promised, realizing that she was only half joking. She couldn’t imagine her life without him anymore, and it was a pretty terrifying thought that she decided not to linger on.

“Well, now I can sleep at night,” he said, fortunately oblivious to her line of thinking.

“That’s what I’m here for,” she managed, as her fingers stroked the locket unconsciously.

Clark let out a chuckle, his eyes drawn to her hand, his gaze turning questioning.

“That’s nice,” he commented, gesturing to her locket.

She lifted it up and gave a half hearted smile. “Don’t lie, Smallville, I know it’s seen better days.”

He shrugged. “But clearly it means something, right? Which is more important than how it looks.”

Taken aback, she could only nod. Composing herself, she said, “Who knew you were so deep?”

“I have layers,” Clark replied easily. “Have to keep you on your toes after all.”

“Let’s not go too far,” she warned. “My toes are firmly planted on the ground.”

“Worth a shot,” he responded, with a cheeky smile. “So …” He gave her an expectant look, pointedly glancing at the necklace. “Is it a deep dark secret?”

She bit her lower lip. “Nothing that exciting. It was my mom’s.”

“Oh.” Clark’s expression immediately went sympathetic, almost apologetic. She could easily say she didn’t want to talk about it, and she had faith he would drop it, and they could immediately go back to making fun of each other, or he would even leave, but for some reason, she felt the need to share.

“She, um,” Lois looked down, “it’s actually the anniversary of her death today.”

Clark placed his hand on her arm, and Lois automatically leaned into it, comforted by the touch. “I’m sorry,” he told her.

She forced a smile. “It was a long time ago.”

“Pretty sure there isn’t an expiration date on grief,” Clark replied.

“Yeah,” she said, a touch of wistfulness in her tone. “Anyway, that’s why I missed dinner. I get kind of moody this time of year, and I didn’t want to bring you all down too. Just thought it’d be best to be alone.”

“I can leave if you want?” Clark offered.

She shook her head. “No, you can stay.”

He moved closer, dropping his hand, and Lois kind of hated herself for missing the touch almost immediately.

“Just because you think you should be alone doesn’t mean you have to be or even want to be, from what it sounds like,” Clark said. “You don’t have to protect us from you.” Offering a teasing smile, he added, “We can handle a little grumpy Lois. I have seen you in the morning before you’ve had your coffee after all.”

Suddenly feeling self conscious, she just shrugged. “I mean, it’s not been that long since …” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. “Well, the point is you are both going through your own stuff. Doesn’t seem fair to burden you with something that happened a long time ago. I’m not that selfish.”

Clark frowned. “Lois, I would call you a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them.” His face relaxed for a moment. “Well, when you’re not using up all the hot water anyway.”

She let out a small laugh, and watched as he grew serious once more.

“Look,” Clark said, taking a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I miss my dad. I’m always going to miss my dad, five months from now or even five years. I would hate it if I was told I can’t be sad about it, just because it’s not as recent as someone else’s loss. I’d never do that to you, and mom wouldn’t either.”

“He was a good man,” she said quietly.

“And I’m sure your mom was a good person too,” Clark replied sincerely.

Lois felt her throat tightened, grateful for Clark’s kindness, which she had witnessed first hand more times than she could count. He was a little weird sometimes, and could drive her crazy on any given day, but overall he was a good man too.

“She was,” she confirmed finally, unable to stop the tears from springing to her eyes. “I miss her.”

To her surprise, Clark didn’t say anything, just pulled her in his arms, and she felt herself sink into his embrace, the tears that she had been holding back falling down, finally letting her grief and disappointment go.

Clark didn’t judge her, just stroked her back, until she sniffed and slowly pulled away.

“Are you okay?” he wanted to know, and she nodded, wiping her eyes.

“Looks like you went from delivery boy to glorified tissue,” she said, gesturing to his shirt.

“Told you- I have layers,” he claimed, looking down at the wet spot. “And I have other shirts.”

“Yeah, do you buy those in bulk or something?” Lois asked, doing her best to pull herself together once more.

“No comment.” He raised an eyebrow. “There are a few flannel ones that have suspiciously gone missing though since you moved out. Know anything about that?”

“Nope,” she said, giving him her best innocent look, leaning over to lightly punch him in the arm. “Besides, finders keepers, losers weepers, Smallville.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Clark said, but he was smiling. “Did you want to stay out here?”

“Nah,” she decided. “I think I’m done now. I wouldn’t want you to get too cold.” She started heading toward the door, and Clark followed her.

“You’re all heart,” he remarked, as they headed inside, and back to her apartment. Once they were inside, she set the necklace down on a coffee table, and the food on top of the counter.

Turning back to Clark, she asked, “Do you have to head out?”

“If you want me to go, I can, but I can also stay,” Clark replied.

“I was just planning on watching a movie,” she said nonchalantly.

“Something with sharks or lots of blood and gore?” he questioned, amused.

“I’ll have you know I was watching Star Trek earlier,” she proclaimed, and then wrinkled her nose at the admission. He always got more information out of her than she was comfortable with.

“I wouldn’t have guessed you were a Trekkie,” Clark commented, raising an eyebrow.

“My mom was a fan” she admitted, taking a seat on the couch. “She liked the idea of there being life in outer space, and that there could be peace between humans and aliens.”

His expression turned unreadable, and she wasn’t quite sure what to think about that. “Oh yeah?” he said.

“Yeah, I never quite knew if she was serious or not,” Lois explained.

“What about the rest of your family?” Clark asked, taking a seat next to her.

“Who knows what Lucy thinks?” Lois sighed. “Don’t even ask the General about this stuff though. One mention of Area 51 or aliens and you can get that vein in his forehead to show up in five seconds flat.”

“What do you think?” Clark asked, and Lois wondered why he cared so much. His expression was serious, almost as if her answer meant something more, which was obviously ridiculous. He was probably just trying to distract her.

“Once upon a time, I would’ve said it’s nonsense,” Lois responded. “Now- who knows?” If he was going to be patient with her, she might’ve well give him a real answer instead of a sarcastic remark.

“Not afraid of being kidnapped in the middle of a corn field?” Clark joked. “Have your brain probed?”

“Nah,” Lois said dismissively. “Besides, humans can be pretty awful. Who says the aliens will be bad guys bent up on taking over Earth? Maybe they just might be looking for a home … somewhere to belong.”

Clark was silent long enough for Lois to look up, worry running through her veins, and his expression was filled with something, if she didn’t know better, was gratitude. It was a look she wouldn’t understand for years. As of right now, she dismissed the idea. After all, she hadn’t said anything for him to feel that way.

“Should I ask you if you’re okay?” Lois quizzed, and he seemed to find himself, and immediately shook his head, expression clearing.

“No, just thinking about how it turns out that I’m not the only one with layers,” Clark responded, with an easy smile.

“What can I say?” she offered. “I like to keep you guessing, Smallville.”

“I take it you haven’t shared those ideas with your dad,” Clark suggested.

Lois snorted. “Are you kidding me? I just mentioned the vein, didn’t it?”

“Have you heard from them-?” Clark trailed off when he saw the look on her face. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said. She picked up the necklace once more, keeping her eyes focused on it. “I never do. I am used to it. I’m better off alone anyway.”

Clark’s hand covered her’s. “You’re not alone.”

“So you keep reminding me,” Lois said. “I’m starting to wonder if I should take it as a threat.”

“Take it any way you want,” Clark responded. “Still won’t stop it from being true.”

“Guess I can deal with that,” she allowed. “So you can stick around then.”

“I’m honored,” Clark said dryly. He pointed at her necklace. “Have you ever worn that?”

“No,” she said. “As you can, it’s kind of broken.”

“Can easily be fixed,” Clark pointed out.

“I’m pretty broken too,” she murmured, without thinking. “Can I be fixed?”

“I don’t think you need to be,” came Clark’s response, and that was when, much to her horror, she realized she said that out loud.

“Oh, please, like you wouldn't make a few changes,” Lois said, as dismissive as she could, hoping she kept her feeling off her face for once.

“Nah, I think I like you as you are,” Clark insisted.

“Even when I bully you and steal your shirts?” she challenged.

“Yeah, even then,” he replied, eyes twinkling. “Besides, I’m flattered. Clearly I have better fashion sense than you will admit.”

“Whatever, they’re just comfortable,” Lois said, infusing some haughtiness in her tone. “Don’t get a big head over it.”

“No promises,” Clark retorted. Softening his voice, he added, “We’re all a little broken, Lois. Doesn’t mean we need to be fixed.”

She cleared her throat. “Whatever, Smallville.” Leaning over she punched him lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t go getting all sappy on me.”

He let out a laugh. “I wouldn’t dare.”

Popping up from the sofa, she said, “Want to watch that movie now? I am suddenly in the mood to see something with lots of violence.”

He thankfully let her change the subject, even if the transition wasn’t her best work. “Sure.”

“I’ll get the popcorn!” she said, making her way to the kitchen, gathering some snacks and drinks for the two of them while the popcorn bag was in the microwave.

Plopping back down next to Clark, she grinned and he smiled back. He didn’t even complain when she popped in The Amityville Horror dvd that she had rented recently, the two of sitting in mostly a comfortable silence as the movie played.

At one point, she leaned close and told him softly, “Thanks, Clark.”

“Any time, Lois,” he replied kindly.

He stuck around for a second movie, but she fell asleep halfway through, only to wake up in the middle of the night to an empty apartment, a pillow under her head and covered by blanket. Clearly Clark had some of those caretaker instincts, and she really shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

She fell asleep again, with a smile on her face, feeling better than she had in awhile.

And two days later, she would walk into her apartment to see her broken locket on the table, suddenly fixed, still with its original chain, just shinier and no longer with cracks. The fact Clark would go through those efforts for her left her more than a little overwhelmed.

How he got in and out of her apartment that easily, she didn’t want to know, but she was grateful and didn’t ask.

And she’d wear it to see the Kents the following day.

“That’s a nice necklace,” Martha commented, as she passed. Clark’s smile seemed to widen upon seeing her with it, and she returned the smile, keeping her gaze on him.

“Thank you.”

He seemed to get the message.

And Lois realized when he said he wasn’t going anywhere, he meant it.

Which he would continue to prove in the years to come, even when she realized he could no longer fit in the friendship box she had put him in. Falling in love and letting him in completely wasn’t easy, but she’d find it was more than worth it.

Clark was there for her for her good days, as well as the bad ones, never forgetting that anniversary, or really any other ones. And when she would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling off, she could just roll over and snuggle closer to Clark, who was always ready with open arms and a heart that she would eventually accept was her’s and only her’s.

Maybe she was broken, maybe they both were a little broken really, but their broken pieces seem to fit together, and he did accept her for everything she was and wasn’t.

And it turned out she wasn’t meant to be alone after all.