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salaciousdoll · 6 months

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· · · ℜ · · · Aren’t You What They Call a Milf · · · ℜ · · ·

.·:*¨¨*:·. starring Ken R. , Manjirou S. , Baji K., Emma S., Hina H., Takemichi H., Chifuyu M., Kazutora H. , Hanma S. , Kisaki, Peh Y., Pah C., Izana K. , Mochi, Muto, Shion, Sanzu A. , Shinichiro S., Benkei A. , Takeomi A., Wakasa I., Mitsuya T., Hakkai S., Taiju S., Kakucho, Kokonoi, Inupi, South T. , The Haitani brothers x Milf! reader .·:*¨¨*:·.

ᰔᩚ ━━ Warnings: ᰔᩚ ━━ Warnings: Final Timeline! So spoilers, smut, threesome, reader is a switch here, foursomes, fivesomes, gang bang( consensual), Benkei and Mitsuya are end game here, OG black dragons is a little mean, dirty talking( heavy, degradation, praise, pet names, bodily fluids( squirting, cum, spitting, sloppy blow job,etc.), big exhibition here( fucking in a top down convertible, Mitsuya fashion shop, and etc.), yes I know inupi is not in Tenjiku besides they’re all friends here anyways just decided to group them by gangs to avoid writing for every single one of them, little plot here, AGE GAP, DARK CONTENT! voyeurism, missionary, doggy style, attempt at frog style( if that’s what it’s called), reader knows what she wants, breeding kink, reader is a undercover slut, chubby reader, oc kids named amethyst and saphhire( twin girls), pink obsessed reader/momma which means kids are drowned in pink everything, you are 37 years old here so have fun with that, wanted to write an older reader for a long time, nipple play, lactation kink, spitting kink, rough and slow sex, teasing, headcannons are not really headcannons because again I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with writing that shit, dilf( Draken ), reader and the husband was swingers once upon a time, cuckholding on Hina, Takemichi, and black dragon part, the oh black dragons are older than reader but that’s okay they weren’t even thought of until now. If I’m forgetting something lemme know.

ᰔᩚ ━━ Word Count: 14.5k

ᰔᩚ ━━ Dolly Note from Salaciousdoll: this is really a surprise drop because I thought I was going to post it Saturday tbh but said fuck it give y’all a gift early. I really hope you like it, it’s not the best but it’s something. Been wanting to feed my starving babies from the tr fandom for a minute so here you go. Also the reader is an older woman who’s just fucking everyone why? Because some people pissed me off by slut shaming but nevermind that, Love you guys 🎀

Minors do not interact, 18+

Moms. The person everyone got or needed in their lives as the guidance they need. The carrier. The heart of the family because without a mom being the heart of the family, the family can’t pump blood and love. You were that mom. The mom that your mother was or weren’t, it all depends on yourself. You aimed to be better than your mother even if she was a good mother to you and you did with the two little girls you birthed and raised with your ex- husband. They were the joys in your life, such beautiful little humans to you and everyone around you all. After your divorce from your beautiful husband you still were on good terms with, you moved to another city. You were so glad that he agreed to have the kids a week after you because no matter if you got a divorce you didn’t want your babies to be affected heavily by it.

Your twin girls were the joy and light in your life. You were the pink mom every pink obsessed girl wanted. You always dress your babies in pink and don’t even get me started on the patterns you choose to dress your daughters in but don’t worry they both have a say-so if they don’t feel like wearing anything you pick for them to wear. Your mother didn’t give you that option, but you did with your little ones. From two year olds up until now, 9 years old.

The girls were so excited for today. Today was the day you were moving to another city as a result of starting your new job and new life away from your husband and his new girlfriend. You two have been divorced for years now and you were glad he moved on after sending letters and posting sticky notes on your Children’s backpacks or notebooks saying things like “ lunch today?” Or “ We could always try one last time” or your favorite one “ My sunshine and my little flowers”. It never ended with him until it stopped just five months ago when he met his girlfriend. His girlfriend was someone you called introverted and that’s just what he needs, a shy woman for his outgoing personality, plus she was an entire sweetheart and someone you gladly liked your kids to be around.

“ Mom, is this the house? It’s so big for us!”, sapphire said pointing to the house. It was indeed a beautiful, big house. From the opening gate with your last initial on it in pretty, cursive letters to the big, cilo pivot house-door, you knew you made the right choice for your babies.

“ Mommy mommy, I wanna go inside.”, Amethyst yells as she runs past the gate and towards the front door to open it.

“ Do not run, walk! Don’t want you to hurt yourself and then I’ll have to sit in the hospital while my baby get treated.”, You shouted after her, smiling when she actually listened and power walked into the house.

You really hope you three weren't disturbing the neighbors around and didn’t attract any eyes for now, you were dead wrong because Draken was bringing a box out of Mikey’s house and saw the huge moving truck down the street—just five spaces down from Mikey’s big ass house.

Mikey had boxes of Magazines Emma’s own since she was staying at his house while they were fighting. Draken loved Emma but their fights were stupid and frustrating sometimes, however, the fight they’re in is not. He stayed out all night with Mikey and Mitsuya partying because of the celebration of Mikey winning his championship game. Believe him, he wanted to leave around 12 am, but Mikey had other plans like having a race in a vacant parking lot. Nevertheless, he was glad she and his little boy and girl accepted his apology, they were even mad at him.

He stopped with the box in his hand with his mouth opened a bit in awe, you were a gorgeous woman, way too gorgeous and just right for him and Emma, especially Emma who was looking for another sex partner for both of them. You were taking a box out of the moving truck and you could hear your little girls in the house screaming and running around the empty house in excitement. You almost wanted to cry because you came a long way to get to this point right here. Bouncing from jobs to jobs after completing college and then getting an opportunity to become a fashion designer for your own company which has been skyrocketing since your first fashion show. All while going through departure and divorce from your first love, your ex-husband. Let’s not forget about your twin princesses who gave you the world every time they opened their eyes in the morning or whenever they wanna wake up since sapphire likes to sleep until 12 pm.

You didn’t realize you were standing at the back of the truck staring at the other boxes with your eyes wide and watering—you were dazed out until you heard a deep voice, “ Do you need any help? Couldn’t help but notice you moving in.”

You turned to the voice who interrupted your thoughts and smiled at him making his heart beat pick up, “ No, I wouldn’t want to bothe-”

He turned to pick up a box out of the truck, “ I offered and you’re saying you're bothering me, how rude of you.”

You studied his features and noticed he had a tattoo on the side of his hair, black silky hair was pinned up into a man-bun. His eyes were so onyx like but you were afraid if you would look longer at him, you’ll start trying to figure him out like you always do anybody you come across. It was annoying. You gasped once you just now noticed he called you rude, so you called out to him, “ Hey! I’m not rude, just didn’t wanna bother anyone okay? I’m new here, ya know.”

“ I could tell. No one as beautiful as you is around here. My name is Manjirou Sano, what’s yours?”, Another voice says from behind you. You whirled around to look down at a man who was just as beautiful as the other.

You were about to answer but the same man who helped you bring a box in spoke again, “ Mikey, I thought you were meeting up with your brothers?”

Your head went back and forth between the two as they spoke in Japanese in front of you now. You picked up some words like brother and annoying. It seems like the conversation was intense from the way the short one looked up at the taller one. They both held eye contact until they turned to you in the middle of them, the short one speaking again, “ Now that that’s out the way, what’s your name, pretty one?”

He took the box out of your hand smiling at you while you were finally answering him, “ { Reader’s name}, nice to meet you two and thank you so much for helping m-”

“ Mommmm, Amethyst isn’t giving me my tablet, she’s running around the house with it and I don’t want her to droppp itttt.”, Sapphire whined as she stomped out the house.

You looked at the two men with an apologetic look in your eyes and they waved you off, not bothered by your daughter acting like her age at all. You sighed and walked to her with a box in your hand, “ Where is she right now?”

Your daughter led you to Amethyst who was on top of the balcony smiling and laughing until she saw your stern face. She slowly put the tablet down and her smile sequenced with her tablet, both went down. You put down the box not noticing eyes on your full figured body. The body Draken has beat to when he was 19, it’s like all the milf videos he consumed has come to life as he analyzed the curves of your hips and the roundness of your ass. Your boobs were beautiful especially since it seems like they are still full of milk. He would know because Emma’s boobs looked similar to yours when she was pregnant with his child and that was 7 years ago in 2018. Now, Emma’s boobs were heavy with stretch marks on them kinda like yours except yours looked like you gave birth to two people and had to feed two people. He was beginning to feel like an obsessed weirdo and somehow his mind was only offended by the weirdo part.

Mikey was too busy focused on how your body rolls moved whenever you spoke or moved when pointing a finger at the child being scolded right now. He watched as your lips trembled while you spoke almost like you didn’t want to yell at your daughter or perhaps your love for them was too big and it took a lot out of you to yell at your daughter who looked like a cute kicked puppy being yelled at. Mikey almost spoke up for the little girl when he didn’t even know the situation or had anything to do with your family at all. His mind didn’t like the thoughts of growing attached to you, but his heart told another melody. He needed you or needed to be in your life one way or another. Even in the past life with Takemichi, he always wanted someone similar to you with or without kids. A mysterious beauty.

“ Ammy baby, I do not like yelling or scolding you, so can you please promise to be nice to your sister. You’ll be able to have fun with her just wait until I get us settled in and then you could play with your sister, he’ll even run in the backyard all you want just don’t go near the pool area, deal?”, You were now upstairs on the balcony with your daughter, both of you on your knees with a pink out. Your daughter smiled and wrapped her little pinky around your pink, sealing the deal with her speaking, “ Deal mommy, but mommy, can we go get our nails done again? I want light pink with zebra designs again like sapphire has with her star nails.”

You looked at her nails and smiled while nodding your head up and down, “ Okay, but no ac-”

“ No acrylics or press on or long nails at all, I know mom.”, Amethyst says with a big smile on her face. Her chubby cheeks were a cute distraction for you all the time but not this time as your voice grew a bit stern, “ Don’t interrupt me anymore, amethyst.”

Her little “sorry mommy” melted Draken’s heart a little because he remembered his little boy always saying sorry after Emma scolded him, even now while he’s seven. He could take a wild guess and guess your daughters are around his son’s age, maybe even older than him.

You smiled and pinched her cheeks owning a whine from her saying she’s older now but you paid that no mind, “It’s okay… but it’ll have to be when you come back after next week. Remember you have to go with daddy this week, which also means the faster you unpack, the more time we’ll have to get that mirror you wanted and take sapphire to get ice cream.”

“ Okay! We’ll help and stop playing, right Saphhire?”, Your daughter turned to hang her arms over the balcony while looking down at her sister who’s standing with her hands on her hips.

Sapphire narrowed her eyes before nodding her head. You smiled and clapped your hands, “ Okay, we shall be done by 6 pm since it’s 11 right now. Wanna see who can unpack the fastest?”

Sapphire perked up at the question and yelled up at the balcony where you and Amethyst stood, “ Yes! Gonna beat you two anyway. I run track.”

“ Oh please, saphhy, it’s baby track compared to the one we seen on tv, right mom?”, Amethyst said looking up at you.

You waved your hand and stepped back, “ That’s between you two, leave mom out of this one because you already know how she gets when people say that. You picked your battle now you gotta deal with her fact checking you. Sorry, baby girl.”

Amethyst pouted while sapphire was already on her way up the stairs to give her sister a talk and lesson meanwhile you were heading downstairs to the men you almost forgot were in your house.

“ Sorry about that, now where was I? Oh thank you for offering to help, but I think we got it from here, don’t wanna keep you for that long.”, You say while moving past them to walk outside to the truck.

“ Why are you trying to get rid of us so quickly, {reader’s new nickname}?”, Mikey pouts.

You whipped around at the name with confusion on your face, “ { reader’s new nickname}?”

Mikey smiled with his eyes closed at your question while Draken started to speak to you, “ yeah, I think it’s kinda insulting to say that after we just declared we’re here to help you. Besides, we can make it much easier if we invite our friends to join and something tells me they wouldn’t mind. The question is will you?”

You stared at the two and suddenly thought of something, “ hol up’ prior to agreeing to what you said. I need to know who’s moving my things in my house with me and my girls, so what’s your name? I already know your Manjirou, what’s your handsome?”

Draken almost stuttered but caught himself quickly with a small space of ruby hue on his face, “ It’s Ken Ryuguji, nice to meet you.” When your hand was in his, he felt the roughness of your knuckles and the softness on your skin. The feeling of your hand inside of his hand sent an electrical shock feeling inside of himself and he needed to know more about you. You got him to blush just like Emma and Mikey noticed that and saved it inside of his mind to tease Draken about it later.

Your unexpected laugh brought him back out of his daydream/thoughts, “ Nice to meet you as well, Kenny boy.”

Draken wonders if you could see how large his eyes got when you called him that, but your smirk lets him know that you did. Draken covered it up by turning around and taking long steps to your moving truck while Manjirou was on the phone with, you could guess, his friends.

And yes, there were a lot of them participating in moving your things. One guy with lilac hair in a mullet named Mitsuya and his friend with his blue hair in a haircut were great at getting your kids to focus on moving their boxes upstairs on the balcony by racing or in your words pacing with them. Another pair of guys, one with long hair and yellow highlights tied in a man bun and one with black hair down to his ears, were steering a guy with long, black hair and blue highlights in his hair away from you. You learned that they’re names were Kazutora, Chifuyu, and Baji, respectively. You suspect that these three are gonna be trouble for you, mainly baji. Oh how right you are…

A guy named Hanma wasn’t even helping just trying to get you to be his “ sexy vixen” for his photos to which earned him an insult and eye roll from Kisaki, a man that held elegance and if you looked in his eyes long enough, when he shook your hand when Manjirou first introduced you to him, you thought you seen hidden desires and mystery you could easily unsolve if you stared him into the eyes any longer. So you quickly broke eye contact with him.

You laughed at, who you learned are, Pah-chin and Peh arguing over one box, pulling it like a tug-of-war rope, it was funny but angry just ended up taking the box from them with Kakucho and his twin brother, Smiley, at his side. You were progressing greatly with unloading the truck but you also felt multiple eyes on different parts of your body. It was a lot of people here helping you so you could understand the eyes but it felt like some eyes you couldn’t shake off and when you felt a hard stare on you, you turned to see a white haired man with tan skin staring you down and he didn’t even blink while he stared at you. It was creepy and you were glad you were now grabbing the last box before another man with blue and blonde hair in a mullet helped you close the truck with his brother beside him.

You were so glad you were done by 6:45 pm because now you could take your daughters on their promised trips but first you wanted to thank the men that came to help you and your girls move your boxes inside. You didn’t particularly know why you allowed them all to help you, but they seemed to really want to help and plus maybe it’s a sign for something far greater to be bloomed. It was a gut feeling you were leaning on.

Your girls were now pushing their boxes into their rooms while you were on your way out the house.

Meanwhile, Draken and the rest were coming up with a plan to see you again. Chifuyu put his finger on his chin, “ what if we just show her around Tokyo one by one.”

“ How would we do that genius, we don’t live around here, only one who does is mi- that’s it, the key is Mikey’s house.”, Baji says to the other men around him.

Mikey shook his head and waved his hand in a ‘no’ motion, “ No, not possible. Need privacy, I mean it’s already bad enough seeing Baji and Hanma every other day drinking my juice without my permission.” He finished off his statement while glaring at the two men who shivered from his infamous glare.

“ She’s such a damn babe man ♡,why wouldn’t you like to see us win with her?!”, Hanma exaggerates, throwing his hands up.

Ran spoke next, “ She’s too good to be true. Almost too good. Perfect chubby body of hers, just want to palm every rumple and lump on her body, want her to scream my name. Fuck that I might even impr-”

Mochi interrupted him, “ Dude, you just met the woman, at least take her out or something. This is why women like her needs real men like m-”

“ Fuck no, she needs me because at least I’m good with kids, the orphanages proves that.”, Rindou says with a toothpick in his mouth.

“We’ve all participated in that Izana’s orphanage and were good with the kids so that’s debatable. Besides, the others haven’t even met her yet.”, Muto says next as he leans on his bike with his arms folded.

“ Sanzu should’ve been here then, so stop bringing that airhead up.”, Ran finishes.

You walk out to see all the men are either on their motorcycles or standing talking to another on their motorcycles. Your shoes were replaced with your pink heels which combined to your outfit of a pink, sleeveless top with dark blue jeans. Your sunglasses that were on your head were now on top of your sleeveless top. Each one of their eyes were now on you and they were analyzing every detail about you. From your walk they found attractive to your hair in a hairstyle you had, they even paid attention to the way your body bounced as you walked, specifically your tits.

“ I just wanted to thank you all for coming here to help me and my girls, hopefully we’ll see eachother agai-”, you say before feeling a hand grab yours, bringing it to his mouth.

You felt a small, wet kiss on your hand black hair with blue highlights falling in front of his face a little bit, “ You will see us again, after all Mikey and I are you neighbors.”

“ Mikey and I?”, Mikey asks, repeating what Baji said in confusion and frustration.

“ That explains why Kenny boy appeared out of nowhere.”, You say smirking when you see his face frown up because of your nickname.

“ Don’t call me that in front of them.”, Draken said with authority, balancing shyness in his tone. You laughed at his face, “ My bad would you like to hear me say it in private.”

Draken ears got red and he turned his head from your pretty eyes scoping out his face for his reaction to you baiting him, well. Too well especially when that comment made the other men's eyes wider and mouths drop into big and little o’s.

“ Anyways.”, you walked up to Mikey, who was eye level to your breast as of now and he was damn sure enjoying the view too. “ phone.”, you say as your manicured hand was held out towards him.

He had a confused expression on his face as he dug into his back pocket for his phone, now holding eye contact with you as you stared at him. He unlocked his phone and placed his phone in your hand— taking that as a go, you scrolled and found the phone app to put your number in his phone. Placing it back into his hand, “ Call me anytime you want, we’re neighbors now Manjirou. As for the rest of you, is there anyway I could re-”

“ Pssh, you do not have to pay us. Think of this as the start of a great thing, miss { reader’s last name}. It was very nice to meet you and I think that’s more than enough for many of us. So no payment.”, Kakucho says while starting up his motorcycle like the rest of them.

“ Is anyone gonna let me finish my sentences around here?”, You yelled as they were riding off. Mikey walked back to his house and Draken followed because his car was in front of his house. They were gonna continue until Mikey turned back to you with a big smile on his face, “ Nope. Plus that was a question!”

You laughed as he yelled back at you as the motorcycles rode off into the orange sunset. You had a feeling this wasn’t gonna be your last time seeing them. You heard your twins file out the house calling your name with their little jackets on them, ready to go on your small adventure before their dad came and got them for his week.

☆ᩧ Draken and Emma ୨ ♡l

It’s been two months now and You and Draken hung out with each other a lot more than mikey especially because it’s their off season for their joint career. He told you all about his kid and wife which led to playdates with each of your children.

The playdates then led to meeting Emma who just got home from her trip with a woman named Hina. To say Emma wasn’t interested would be a lie because the way she held your plush body against her petite one was far too long and Draken knew from her famous wink and smile at him that he brought the perfect woman over to fulfill their desires.

From the way your tits sit in your light pink, ballerina wrap sweater and your hips looked in your blue jeans— hugging your wide hips tightly in the right places. You didn’t care about your tummy spilling over your pants which only added to your sexiness. You looked expensive and smelled expensive and yummy with your perfume following you everywhere you moved. They both thought as they eyed you while you were over for lunch— this time without the kids.

Coming to lunch with Draken and Emma was a normal thing, you lying underneath her as Draken was thrusting into your melting mouth was a different thing. A new thing— yet you and them loved this new thing because your moan-gargles were the highlight of both of their evenings and the fact that your pussy was getting sticky and wet from Emma was enough for you. Draken’s cock inside of your mouth was the plus.

“ Oh God! I haven’t had this much fun since Hina babe, Aah~.”, Emma moans as her slick covered yours— she sat her wet, pink pussy on top of yours and rose up to heaven because of how wet you were too. Your pussy was so much fatter than hers and she wanted to bury her face in it later.

“ Oh fuck, just like that, flick your tongue just like that pretty girl.”, Draken moans as he grips your hairstyle into a knot. Your tongue was flicking right and left his cock where his little vein lay, you knew that would break him since you used to do it with your husband. And believe me, he broke so much that he couldn’t talk to you for a day from embarrassment.

“ mmm, I cwn’t I cwn’t, mmmghhuhhh.”, Your moans were gargled and blocked by Draken thick cock going in and out of your mouth, the faster he went, the more the stretch burned the sides of your mouth. Emma went slower at rubbing her clit on top of yours— her hips were so tiny and round underneath your hands as you held her trying to make her go faster, sadly she didn’t listen. In fact, she loved the tears by building up in your eyes from the mouth penetration from her husband and the teasing she was doing as she performed scissoring against you. One of her pale creamy legs was in between your sorrel, thick thighs as she held onto your leg that she lifted up to a better position and held herself up. Emma was in love with the way both of your pussy’s made cute noises. Fuck it, they had to keep you for themselves. She’s gonna talk to Draken about it.

Speaking of Draken, he was too busy wrapping his hand tight around your throat, feeling his dick against your neck, the dick print caused him to become animalistic. His balls were now slapping against your forehead and it was a feel-good hurt. That wasn’t even summing up how brutal his pace was in your throat. Somehow it was too brutal, like the just right brutal and you loved it. “ Shit her throat is melting my dick, it’s like her throat is a predator clenching its teeth into a prey, so tight and wet. I could imagine that’s how her pussy feels right ems’?”

“Mmmphhh, fuck babe keep talking like that, I’m close but before you do, yes her pussy feels so good against mine. So wet and sticky, think I felt her clit, uhhghh Drakennn, h-her clit twitched which means she’s either about to cream or squirt. I’m betting on squirting. A shopping spree and another day with her on my end of the deal, what’s yours?”, Emma says as she starts speeding up by rocking her hips forwards and backwards in a riding motion that Draken loves when she’s on top of him. He was too mesmerized by her tits moving back and forth and your whines and moans vibrating his cock was not helping. Emma didn’t even want an answer because she was too lost in your pussy juices mixing with hers almost too perfectly. Your clit vibrated against hers and suddenly she felt a wet substance gush out of your pussy with your loud moans vibrating and engulfed by your own spit against Draken’s cock. All three of you screamed out or groaned especially when you swiped your tongue under his vein one last time.

Emma groped your right tit with her right hand and brought your hand to grope her left tit with your left hand. Her pussy was creaming against yours and yours was squirting against hers which means the substance was turning white and creamy. “ Dr-drakennnn! {reader’s nameeee}, I’m cummin’”

Draken’s hand reached between you two to feel both of your wetness and brought his hands to his mouth as his cock was parked inside of your mouth, lumping his cum into you nonstop, “ so fucking good, need you to swallow all of it, ya hear me? Wanna’ fuck you and my wife while you two lay on top of eachother but first I need you to take all of my load, fu-uuhhh-ck, so hot and sexy.” He was looking at Emma and then peered down at you with your face covered in mascara and spit dripping down your face from his rough face fucking. Yeah, he was definitely gonna give you and Emma a prize and you’ll be a fine third in their relationship, especially since your children seem to get along well with theirs.

☆ᩧ Takemichi and Hina ୨ ♡l

Hina and Takemichi were looking for a person to fulfill both of their desires at once so when Emma told Hina about you and her time with one another, Hina was intrigued on meeting you, so when she did, she was stunned. Takemichi was definitely gonna love you because you’re exactly the epitome of his browser history and you are literally the woman described in his dream he told her about. He was so into Milfs so you were perfect and she was into hot older women so you were perfect.

Meeting Takemichi after Hina was something you’ll never forget especially when he blurted out “ Hot” when he saw you just for Hina to enclose her hand over his mouth, apologizing profusely to you in the act of saving you from possibly chewing up takemichi. She let out a sigh of relief when you just smiled at the two.

Once they both got to meet you, they started to hang around you a lot for a month, Draken and Emma hung out too but Takemichi and Hina were clingier to you, it was a weird but good feeling. The feeling of you being wanted was something you haven’t had in a long time towards you so why not indulge in it with another couple. Remember no strings attached to your little affairs; a note you made to yourself.

Reasons why you were rolling your hips on top of Takemichi snatching all of his moans from him with a sealed kiss each time he let out a squeaky moan. Your hands were flat against your bed and your boobs were happily bouncing in his face causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head, “mmmhh fuck Mitchy, you’re dick is stretching me open. Is this what you take every night little Hina?” Once your head turned to her Hina moaned even more louder as she watched you continue to roll your ass in a slow circle, taking his dick in and out of your clenching hole. She always wanted to see someone else fucking Takemichi while she watched or joined, last time it was Emma since they decided on swinging that one unforgettable night after planning that for years.

She reached down to rub herself through her panties as she watched you wait for your answer and once she didn’t give you one, you slammed your ass on Takemitchy’s sensitive cock, taking him deeper inside while still holding eye contact with Hina, “ I don’t like to repeat questions, pretty one. Now answer my question or would you like your husband to pay the price by expanding his overstimulation time, limits are only for good boys and girls, especially if they’re married to each other because remember, Ahh fuck, remember you guys are one, so what ever you do will effect the other one.” Takemitchy couldn’t take your pussy swallowing his cock so deliciously and came inside of you surprising you a little. Hina was even surprised but luckily she was even more turned on because she never would’ve guessed she’d be into sharing as much as she is right now. Maybe it’s because she wanted you too.

Takemichi clenched the sheets with a tight grip pleading for mercy, “ Please.. please, I can’t. Oh god, Hina please answer her baby. Ahhn shit, she feels so hot and perfect.” Hina now had her fingers inside of her squelching pussy not caring about anything but the way you demanded an answer from her, fuck she was in love with your dominance, “ I-I’m sorry, yes yes I take all his cock every night, can I please touch you or you touch me? I don’t care I just want your attention~”

You laughed and used two fingers in a come here motion to her which immediately made her stand up and come next to you— grabbing her chin tightly, you smiled at her, “ Touch yourself Hina, touch yourself while you kiss me as I fuck your husband like the dirty man he is. I got a feeling you want to see him cry just like me, isn't that right Hina?” She nodded her head and placed her lips on yours savoring the taste of your pink flavored lip gloss on your lips, although the flavor lasted longer than the gloss though. Hina reached to play with her clit in between her index finger and middle finger- whimpering in identical Rhythm with her husband who’s panting and crying with big tears rolling down his ruby flushed face, “ wan’ more! Need more miss {reader’s name}.”

“ Really now? Stand in front of me, on the bed. Latch onto my shoulders if you have to.” You looked down and smirked at Takemichi before lifting all the way up, his cock finally getting the rest it needed. Relief only washed over him for a quick second because now you were pushing his cock back and forth on your clit and vagina hole, it’s like you were teasing him too damn much and he knew he was gonna burst any minute especially from the water erupting from your pussy causing you to shake a little— letting go of his cock because of your pussy starting to squirt even more as you continued rubbing your pussy on his dick.

“ Shit Hina, {reader’s name}, I wanna cum. Wanna cum so bad. Can I cum please? Please.”, Takemichi moaned as his head flew back against the pillow. Takemitchy looked so pretty in your eyes as his sweat rolled down his face connecting with the fat tears pouring down his eyes, his slender chest lifting up and down and perky nipples red with bites from you and Hina prior to this session now. Wonderfully, something even more prettier was in your face now: Hina’s wet pink but slightly tan pussy. You looked up at her as you stuck your tongue out ready for her to ride your tongue. This just reminds you of you and your husband swinger days, oh how you missed experimenting with your ex-husband.

Hina threw her strawberry blonde hair back as her head snapped back in pure carnality of your thick, wet muscle swiping across her pussy. You hummed in delight before reaching up to grab her hips and shoved her pussy into your face— latching your lips on her clit during the time of her small, delicate hands holding tightly onto your head, raising one leg up on your shoulder to give you better access, “ Fuck, this feels soooo goodahhh, keep licking me like that miss {reader’s name}.” You gladly obliged to her small demand and flicked your o this faster over her clit making sure to apply a little pressure on her clit by the heaviness of your tongue. She tasted so damn natural and good, pussy was something you loved eating and appreciating when it comes to women, she was the woman who’s pussy you’ll come back to for thirds, fuck seconds.

Takemichi was cross eyed now at the time of small spit strings appearing and disappearing whenever he opened and closed his mouth, panting out wanton moans and whimpers when you finally reached down to skillfully place him back inside of you. You loved the feeling of his cock jumping inside of you as his and your juices mixed together started to drip down his balls and onto the bed. He felt so sticky and he didn’t care. This was his first time cumming back to back and it’s all because of you. You were Overstimulating him and his wife especially with the way your tongue flicked against his wife’s pussy. He couldn’t think about nothing as he heard Hina’s pretty moans and the slurping and wet sounds you were producing by your mouth and pussy. This was the best he had and he’s pretty sure Hina thinks the same because of the way she’s thrusting her small hips up and down— shaking as she approached another orgasm. “ mmm, God, I wanna do this again, Hina. Shit.”

☆ᩧ Mitsuya Takashi ୨ ♡l

Mitsuya was in love with hanging out with you and your kids. They reminded him of his little sisters from when they were that age. The way they act, argue, and etc. was similar to Luna and Mana. He loves watching you be a good parent to them and them coming to confide in you about anything like the other day when Saphhire asked “what’s it like to be friends with someone you just met” when referring to her own friendship with someone at school and your own with Mitsuya and the others.

She even asked Mitsuya the same question and a question about his life, not too nosy, just a curious baby girl and he happily answered them, which gave the go to Amethyst to ask him questions too. They were slowly making their way into his heart just like you were.

Mitsuya loved being around you and watching you smile and light up at things you loved to speak about or indulge in. Every since you told him about your fashion designing career taking off, he’s been asking you to chime in on his own pieces so that’s why he invited you to his shop, which was a mistake because when he saw your dolce & gabbana leopard print dress clenching to your pretty full-figure and your black pumps, his pants grew tighter and he couldn’t focus.

Mitsuya couldn’t help but to place his hands on your hips as your ass was slightly bent over as you helped him with his patterns for his dress he was designing for his upcoming fashion show in Osaka. His hands felt like they belonged on your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulders to see what you were doing and you were doing the peacock design so perfectly, more perfect than what he had in his mind. He breathed in your expensive scent and sighed prior to trailing his large hands over the paunchy skin poking out your dress at your sides and down to your ass rubbing it. “ Remember what I said I wanted to do to you after our date? Wanna take you right here and now as you focus on helping to design my dress you’re wearing in my fashion show. Will you mess it up or will you finish off well?” Once you turned your head to look at him with a full blown lust in your eyes, he knew he had you wrapped around his finger now, especially with your next words, “ Please take me. Wanted you ever since our second date.”

With that, Mitsuya had your dress hiked up around your waist whilst pounding inside of your cunt, “ Fuck, you’re so sexy, my love. Want to fuck you every day of my life, don’t care how old you are. Want you forever now.” He felt you shake as your ass bounced against him every time he thrusted into you. The ripples from your ass plus the sexy leopard print on your body was causing him to have a feeling in his chest he couldn’t describe. He found the print he was going to fuck you in everyday in his life, for the future with you too. The print he was going to design with just to fuck and make love to you in. The print he was fucking you in now.

You stopped using the pen with blue markings for the peacock patterns because of Mitsuya twirling his hips as he snapped his hips forward, “ Yes, yes, mmmgh, god, your dick is fucking me so good right now.” You tried to go back to printing in the peacock pattern in the dress and you almost fucked up due to Takashi massaging your tits with both of his hands on each boob now, “ Takashiii, I can’t do it. I can’t focus while you’re, mmmhh, fucking me. But I don’t want you to stop.”

Mitsuya smirked before grabbing the pen out your hand—throwing it somewhere afore taking you away from the curvy Manikin that was creepily modeled after your body, too bad you were too busy getting fucked as you walked to his desk. Mitsuya couldn’t missed the opportunity of fucking into you at the angle your body was making right now. Your back was to his chest as you two walked step by step to the desk, your designer heels clicking against the floor with every step you two took. He slammed inside of you, fast and long were what his strokes felt like. Mitsuya was stuffing you full of dick, not letting up when you reached back to move your hand to his stomach pushing on it only to get your hands locked into both of his hands, “ fuck no, sunshine, you’re not getting away after all the stroking of my leg under the dinner table or the taunting you were doing by saying I can’t handle a woman you’re age as if you didn’t fuck Draken or Takemitchy, you play around a lot, love. Lemme show you what the other twin dragon could do.”

It was obvious he was a bit jealous you fucked Draken first but his jealousy was short lived when you said, “ I only got my mind on you right now mitsyy, you’re fucking me right now not them so show me what the other twin dragon can do, the one I really want.” You should’ve never moaned those words because Mitsuya was now holding your head down on the table with one hand and the other one was still holding your hands together alluding to a rope of his own, “ fuck, sunshine, you can’t say words like that. Fucking hell.” Mitsuya's eyes rolled to the back of his head as your pussy wrapped around his wet dick like a blue rubber glove sticking to your skin when you put them in water.

He moved his hand off your hand to let it join his other hand holding your hand when he suddenly heard you moan loudly as you whined and cried with your face on his desk, “ M’cummin, M’cummin right now. Kashiii, it feels like my stomach is snapping, ahhhnnn.” Mitsuya felt his shoes get heavy and wet making him stop to look down seeing you squirting on his cock and his designer shoe, some of the liquid landing on the floor. If you would’ve looked back at Mitsuya, you would’ve seen his wide smile and wild eyes full of shine because he found his new obsessions about you— the new obsession was joining his other details about you he was obsessed with.

“ That’s right, baby. Squirt on my cock just like that.”, Mitsuya says, still pushing his cock inside of you, not caring if tears were pouring down your eyes because of the overstimulation you were getting. You wondered if this is what Takemichi felt like. This was hell and pleasure at the same time. Takashi's eyes rolled and mouth opened to spurt out moans at the feeling of your ass throwing back against his pelvis creating powerful smacking sounds inside of his studio, which was closed as soon as he switched the sign off. He felt himself about to cum and couldn’t hold your hands back anymore, he needed to hold your body tight as you cum on his cock. He wanted to cum inside of you, not knowing if you’re on birth control or not— he doesn’t even care if you were or not, time for him to have a child anyways.

Mitsuya grabbed your stomach through your dress and pulled you up while you were still in your heels towering over him a little, yet he didn’t care. He just needed to see you cum undone again, luckily his mirror was behind his chair and he stared straight ahead watching your face expressions change multiple times in sequence with his thrusts too. Soon as he snapped his hips against your ass making a big clap sound, his stomach knot came undone and he came right inside of you with a loud moan following, “ Fuck yes. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect girl. My fucking girl.” He was babbling and you squirted out his white cum which essentially got mixed with his cum so now you were squirting out white juices as you broke inside of his arms. You tried to escape off his cock and out of his arms, but he didn’t budge not once even if he was growing a bit weak at the moment, “ You’re not going anywhere so just relax, sunshine. Kissing your forehead to finish off his sentence just right.

“ Yo, Mitsuya, you managed to bag a Milf huh?”

☆ᩧ Taiju Shiba & South Terano ୨ ♡l

Taiju walked into Mitsuya studio right on time—seeing you bent over the table with your heels glued to the floor and dress melting in your skin because of the sweat dancing across your body was everything he needed to see to get hooked on you as well. He didn’t even like when Mitsuya hurried to cover you up with his jacket by the chair on the left of him. He wanted to see you even more.

Luckily, He finally got to see you in his restaurant with two friends from your old neighborhood accompanying you at the dinner to discuss everything in your life from your kids to your sex lives. Taiju was viewing the way your lips were moving from where he stands on the balcony above, he was listening to South speak but watching you intensely. South was a person he wouldn’t consider a friend but is very much a friend in other people's eyes. He was back from Ireland because of a match over there and was gloating about his championship win, yet again.

South felt like Taiju wasn’t listening and stopped talking to walk bedside Taiju looking down at you. South followed his gaze and saw you laughing about your friend telling you a story about how the men she fucked was a slug as he fucked her. South smirked and made his way down to you and when he got to you he interrupted the conversation and introduced himself. Taiju vein appeared in his forehead as he watched South spit his pathetic game on you. Taiju knew it wasn’t gonna work until he saw you writing down your number before raising a class at him as you gave your number to South, who didn’t notice the way you were staring up at Taiju.

You felt like you were being a slut but you were divorced for years and celibate for two years after, you needed this and that was your excuse besides you were still young in mother years so why not indulge in your fantasies and save your 40s for sitting down again. Your 20s were stolen from you by your ex husband so now you’re reliving them. You haven’t felt this feeling since your swinging days. You were always private about your life that people didn’t expect that or this act from you until they actually knew you. Yet, You never would’ve thought that these two would get you the first night of meeting them because now you’re in South’s black 2024 Chevrolet convertible bouncing on South’s cock at the back of Taiju’s restaurant with Taiju leaning on the car, smoking a cigar, “ Hurry the fuck up, South. I want her spreaded on this ugly ass car of yours.”

“ Shut the fuck up, this pussy is too good and tight for me to have to cum to your annoying ass voice in the background, so shut up!” South slapped your ass before grabbing it with his large ass hands, his cold rings on his fingers were a contrast with your skin as he lifted you up and down. “ Fuck yes, baby! Fucking tight for an old bitch like yourself, Mmgh fuck, color me impressed. Pussy is swallowing my dick like it’s a mouth. Fuck yeah!”

You were too drunk off how deep his thick cock was inside of you that you couldn’t even hear half of the words he was saying, plus your moans were growing louder and louder, “ Aaahn, it’s so damn deep, fu-uhhhmmm, I think I’m close.” Your hands came up to his neck as you wiggles your ass before riding him up and down to chase your own orgasm, “ Ahhh yes, dick, your dick is so fucking, hnnhahhh. Keep fucking me, South.” A slap to your ass and his head flying back against his seats indicated that he’s in pure rhapsody, basking in the feeling of your pussy taking him like no other woman his age could, the late 20s women couldn’t take all of his dick even if they tried. He’s now hooked on you and he doesn't plan on letting you go but for now, he got to because Taiju’s right here.

Taiju watched your movements whilst riding South’s cock like you were on a bull ride, your dress was up and gave him a perfect view of your ass he couldn’t stop staring at or fantasizing about since he saw it when you fucked Mitsuya. He exhaled the smoke building up in his throat— his yellow eyes watching the car move up and down as you two bounced even more faster due to South’s intense grip on your ass lifting it up and down like you were a pocket pussy of his. South didn’t care about your weight, he wasn’t a heavy weight champion for nothing so don’t underestimate him, “ Shit baby, I could feel your pussy shaping to my cock and now you’re about to cum aren’t you?” Taiju watched you babble out your words to the point they were coming out slurred. You couldn’t speak when South’s cock was reaching places you haven’t felt in a long time, thanks to his right- curved dick.

Taiju smirked at your head flying back as your arms were going limp meanwhile South wrapped his muscular arms around your waist still moving you up and down despite you going limp and mind fucked, some drool was even trailing down your mouth because of your head being back and your mouth open releasing now muffled screams in Taiju’s hand clamped over your mouth, “ Shit, she’s a creamer and screamer, can’t forget a squirter too.” South squeezed his eyes shut followed by a loud groan escaping his mouth, he came into the condom that was pathetically wrapped around his cock, “ Really now? Let’s see if I could—”

“ Fuck no. It’s my turn now give her to me.”, Taiju opened the car door and lifted you up into his arms to walk you to the hood of South’s car. “ You’re okay, little strawberry?” You nodded your head sluggishly, “ m’not done but yes I’m okay now fuck me.” Taiju hummed and unbuckled his pants to free his hard, aching cock onto your wet pussy— legs cocked open revealing the most prettiest pussy he ever seen, “ Fuck, she’s so pretty covered in your wetness.” To get his point across even more, he slid his index finger over your pussy to hold it up to your mouth, “ See how sticky she is, gonna make this pussy mine tonight.”

Taiju was a man of a few words but whenever he did speak, his words were absolute because his cock was driving you crazy as he fucked you on top of the car you’re desperately trying to hold on to. His hips smacked into yours, not giving a damn if people heard the loud smacking noises your bodies created as they slapped into each other. Each time he fucked into you, the car rocked with South chuckling in the back seat with his phone in his hand, he was on the phone with Mikey asking him if he’s up for fighting in benkei’s gym with him. Taiju paid no attention to his loud voice because of your moans drowning out South’s annoying voice, “ nngh! Wanna cum, wanna cu-uhnmmm.”

“ Cum on my dick, strawberry. Make a mess of my cock baby. Need that pussy squirting and creaming on me. Come on, I know you could give me what I want. Fuck!”, Taiju groaned as he leaned over you with his chin on your head while one of his hands were on your head and another one was on your thighs— printing his hand into your thigh from how tight he was gripping the fat of your thigh. Nothing but his chest was in your view and you loved it even if he had his white dress shirt on. Once his cock started to make its way to kiss your cervix you were glad you came before that because you knew that would’ve hurt you if he ended up kissing it. Taiju stopped and came inside of you when you came on his cock causing him to dent South’s hood by how hard he banged his falling hand from your head on it. Both of your moans and groans plus South vulgar language in all three languages he speaks fluently in were heard due to the effect of Taiju fucking up his car. Your friends weren’t even thought about as your squirting came out in white and clear water because of his cum and your cream mixed together.

“ Oh shut the fuck up, I’ll fix it.”

☆ᩧ Tokyo Manji Gang ୨ ♡l

Your kids were growing a little bigger as the months flew by. It's now April and when you moved to Tokyo it was in the middle of January. They formed bonds with Emma’s son and the men you formed relations with. So when your babies were over for their week, you loved spending time with them and the men and women who stop by your house. Mikey and Amethyst always got into it over the dorayaki he got her hooked on by bringing them over and asking if you could make some from scratch. Sapphire loved riding on Hanma’s or Mochi’s neck or backs. During your week with them, it was nothing but fun and extraordinary things happening, reasons why they plan on getting their dad to move across or next to you, on the other side .

They love when it’s your week because you're the most fun out of the two. You were a little strict when needed but they knew to get their acts together quickly. They loved the house, friends, and most of all, you. So whenever they have to leave, like now, they always get a little sad until Kazutora- who you met at his pet shop- promised to show them the baby bobcat they recently placed in their pet shop. Instantly brighten up their faces, you whispered a thank you to him as he and Chifuyu hugged your baby dolls.

You’ve recently been getting so down and sad whenever they leave and this was one of the moments that the Toman crew got to witness with their own eyes, it was almost sad with how moppy you became, but when Mikey came up with a plan every piece of sympathy escaped the men as they came up with a plan to get your smile or cheeks brightened again, a great plan considering the way your mid-thigh, purple sundress sat on your figure just right with your light purple Steve Madden strap heels to match.

Sex and comfort was Mikey’s plan and it was working as he watched Kazutora and Baji lick your pussy at the same time, tongues knocking into each other several times as you tongue fucked you and hakkai kissing your lips to stop your moans from getting any louder not that they minded. He watched as Draken and Mitsuya spoke about their plans with the vacation getaway they were planning, but Manjirou wasn’t paying attention or going if you’re not. He wanted you there, so that’s why he thought this master plan of his was actually smart. As soon as you started to kiss Mikey before this current situation, you forgot what you were sad about. Your emotions didn’t exactly flip right then and there, after all it took Mikey whispering sweet sayings to you as he and Sanzu laid you down.

“ She’s such a loud moaner, wanna see if we can make her scream?”, Nahoya says to his brother Souya as a bet between them until Hanma decided to join in their conversation, “ 10 yen if I make her scream?” You couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation because baji’s tonhue ring was vibrating against your clit and you couldn’t hear anything but that, well at least you thought you could hear the vibrations from the momentum of his tongue flicking up and down your clit in a long oval taking in the beauty of pussy eating right in front of his eyes. Kazutora and, now, Chifuyu watched with gleaming eyes at how your body squirmed under their holds as Keisuke fucked his tongue piercing all over your pussy. The slurping sounds got louder as he proudly stuffed his face back in your pussy, not letting up even if you thrashed around with loud muffled moans contributing to your brain becoming mushy.

“ Fuck, she’s so fucking volumptous every where, even her pussy is volumptous, wan’ my turn too so Keisuke hurry the hell up!”, Pah chin says forgetting about Yuki for a moment until he heard her voice on the other side of the phone telling him to hold the phone up straight so she could see. She was too busy out with Senju and Yuzuha so she couldn’t participate with all the men of Toman like that but luckily Pah-chin was ever so the loving husband— deciding to FaceTime her so her and the girls could see what they were missing. Keisuke felt your fingers in his hair, yanking and pulling on his ponytail eagerly trying to get yourself off faster and he wasn’t having it, so he stopped and smirked at your head rising up from the sofa in hurt and confusion.

“ Sorry princess, can’t let you cum so fast yet, need you whining on our cocks begging to cum over and over again”, Keisuke says as he rises up from his knees.

Mitsuya chuckled before pitching in himself, “ She’s so damn beautiful when she cums, her little lip bite she does before screaming out will always get me going.”

Draken laughed and nodded his head in agreement while Takemichi blushed as he looked at you with your brown nipples out and your sundress bunched up on your tummy—your pussy was on full display. Your pussy was the prettiest he's ever seen, especially with someone who’s hairy, not bush wise yet not that he wouldn’t or they wouldn’t mind but it looks like it’s growing hair on it. “ She’s so beautiful.” A hand was placed on his shoulder as Takemichi stared at your body lifting up and down due to the oxygen you let in and out, “ Easy, we’re just getting started Takemichi.” Kisaki, a man Takemichi would’ve never thought he’d befriend but here we are. The final timeline was something he hardly discussed with anyone other than Mikey and possibly Chifuyu, he so badly wanted to say that you weren’t a part of the final timeline but damn you were a fine ass edition so why would he worry or complain.

Indeed it was the beginning because after Pah and Pey both took turns spitting on your pussy and eating you out, the twins were now fucking you while Sanzu had his cock in your mouth. You didn’t care about anything except getting fucked without any mercy from nahoya and mercy from Souya, they were ying and yin while fucking into both ends, courtesy to Draken for using his fingers to prep your ass to take Nahoya’s thick 7 inch cock. Your gags and moans were music to everyone’s ear, especially the man who’s holding your head as he fucked into your mouth while your body was stuck in between Angry and Smiley. “ Fuck, she’s a fucking pro at taking and sucking dick. Toman’s little fuck doll.”, Sanzu moaned as he threw his head back.

“ More like Toman’s pretty little Milf, fuck, I wonder what the others would say once they found out she’s milked almost everyone in this room by now. Such a naughty older slut we got our fingers on and in boys.”, Hanma boasts with a loud laugh following making the others roll their eyes at his foolishness. Once they heard the loud slapping and choking noises coming from them fucking into your body, they knew the only thing on your mind was the word dick and they were right. It was like an repeated echo in your mind because of how fucked your mind was. Soon after them though, Kisaki and Hanma both got a turn and you couldn’t take Hanma’s cock in your pussy, he was possibly the largest out of everyone but not larger than south and Taiju whom you had before. His big hands were imprinted on your thighs as he held you up, fucking you against the edge of the table, creaks of it scrapping the floor as he fucked his cum into you. The same cum Kisaki slurped out of you before spitting it back on your pussy and devouring you, “ Too much. Too much. Ahhn.” Your moans were music to Kisaki’s ears.

you managed to still hold on for Mikey’s and the Baji trio. Mikey has his cock in your pussy now and Baji had his cock in your ass at the same time of you switching between Chifuyu and Kazutora, either sucking their cocks or giving them handjobs. Mikey groaned as he felt your pussy tightly clench onto him as he sloppily thrusts his hips forward and backwards, him and Baji moving at different paces torturing your pussy and ass, “ Fuck yeah, bunny. So fucking good for me and my friends aren’t you? Wanna know something, my brothers gonna be pissed I got you first, even my older brother who I- fuck! You’re milking my cock so well- I talk about you to. Good luck dealing with both, my chubby bunny. Now cum f’me.” And indeed you came especially hearing how his entire family wanted you. Your body shaking and creaming on their cocks made the men chuckle and moan in delight.

☆ᩧ Yokohama Tenjiku Gang l ୨ ♡l

Izana got word from his little brother bragging about how good you treated him and his friends. He didn’t like it one bit so he ended up inviting you over to his house to teach him how to bake your famous peach cobbler you made for him when you cooked dinner that one Sunday before your kids went to their dad. He remembered getting to know you even more as you told stories about your little family and where you all were from and etc.

He remembered that night, might even got it tattooed in his mind because he remembered your outfit you wore for the lots of them. Appropriate around your children but still somewhat inappropriate around them from the way it fits your body just right. He noticed all your clothes fit your body, that’s when a light bulb came to his head and he remembered you saying you design or tailor pieces of clothing yourself.

So when he invited you over to his house to make your famous peach cobbler, he or his friends weren’t expecting to see you dressed like you were walking the runway. With a pink and black spaghetti strap dress on and black and black custom made La Parfait heels with pink frills on them, Mochi was the first to ask why you were so dressed up. Neither one of them liked your answer because who were you going on a date with?! It wasn’t anyone from Toman, considering Koko asked the questions related to them and Toman, so who?

Too bad, you couldn’t tell them because A). They didn’t want to actually know and the peach cobbler was abandoned as soon as you mentioned the man you met two months ago, Keizo Arashi. The way that you gloat about him when meeting him in his gym for the first time, pisses half of them off so that led to you being split open by Izana's large cock. His cock was a cock you never wanted to let go of, which is why it gripped which made him release a hiss— slapping your heavy tits repeatedly, “ You really think I’m gonna let you go out with my brother’s friend when I could do more for you than he ever could, no matter if I’m 30. We are only seven years apart baby, don’t piss me off Mahal.”

You felt like your tits were gonna be sore after he and the Haitanis’ get done with them. They’re mouths were glued to each tit after he slapped them. Rindou’s tongue ring was enough to make you whimper and moan while grabbing his blue and yellow mullet without a care in the world. Ran’s mouth was the total opposite of how Rindou made you feel but you still loved him sucking on your tit until milk suddenly leaked out causing him to happily suck on your bouncing tit even more. Ran moaned in delight as he sucked out the milk of your tits, “ Still lactating after all these years, baby doll. Everyday I become more obsessed with you”. You tried to push him off in embarassment, but Izana grabbed your hands in his pulling them down to your stomach as he fucked into you missionary style, “ no, no, it’s so embarrassing but feel so go-ouuuuhhdah.”

“ Good. Be embarrassed, the more humiliated you are, the more your pussy grips my cock just perfect, pretty baby. You’re such a pretty slut who loves to put on a fake persona, aren’t you?”, Izana asks as he snaps his hips into your thighs. Before you could wail out your answer, a presence clouded around you whilst squinting your eyes, “ Mind if I fuck your mouth like the whore that you are.” Your pussy spasms on Izana’s cock making him moan as his white curly hair stuck to his face as it ran with the sweat forming on his forehead, “ Shit! This cougar pussy loves to be degraded, yeah.” Mochi tapped your chin with his huge, heavy dick telling you to open up as he saw your mind start to get foggy as you babbled about needing more like you were casting a spell. You glady opened your mouth and took his cock inside of it. Mochi took in a breathe during the time of your throat taking him in, the gags on his cock made him throw his head back, “ fuck yeah, slut. You’re taking my cock in so well, wan’ more don’t cha?” When you stupidly tried to answer with your mouth, more gags and muffles were vibrating his cock making everyone laugh at your stupidity.

Muto rose up from his seat with Koko and Inupi following behind, “ She’s so stupid. Can’t even answer because her mouth and pussy is being stuffed so well that she can’t speak or form correct sentences. Such a pity for a beautiful woman like yourself. Such a toy, our fuck toy.” Muto wanted to fuck your ass so he waited until Izana came deep inside of your pussy not caring about any consequences, your pussy was too good for him to pull out or fuck with a condom, “ Squeezing me so tight, darling. My little Angel is gonna make me cum. Fu-uhhghhh.” Mochi was next to cum deep inside of your mouth not caring how animalistic his groan was.

You thought you could catch a breath but Muto already had his hands on your body when everyone separated from you, the tit that Ran was sucking on was sore and sensitive to touch right now. Muto lifted you up in his arms and walked you to the couch to sit down with you still having your legs wrapped around him, “ Ride me in reverse, might cum too fast looking at your pretty ass face.” You giggled before getting up to get in the reverse cowgirl position, looking back at him as you grabbed his freed, long cock in your hands. Sliding your pussy on his cock was a magnificent view for Muto as it was for Koko and Inupi standing on the side of you two. You teased Muto at first as your hand still held his cock while slipping him in and out, gaining an irritated grunt from him until he grabbed your hips to slam your down on his cock causing your eyes to go wide and your mouth to scream out curse words. The impact of his cock inside of you was stretching and painful, he’s up there with fucking South, so you couldn’t move just yet because he was letting you catch your breathe again, “ See what teasing me do. Make me wanna make you scream and cry in pleasure on my dick.”

Before you know it, your body was bent down in a all fours position whilst Muto pounded into you with Koko recording the entire thing for himself, fuck everyone else because when you have to pratically manage Manjirou’s finance it was a lot of stress for him and Kisaki, so he needed this. Muto loved the way your ass jiggle as he thrusted up into you, “ The greatest ass I ever seen, just wanna fuck you all day to see it, may even wanna fuck it soon.” Your moans were muffled and what you were saying was gibberish so Muto bent down a little to lift you up to bring you into his chest so now your back was to his sweaty chest while his head was on your shoulders breathing in your intoxicating scent. Koko came closer with his cock now out, “ What was that? Couldn’t hear what you were trying to say, don’t tell me you’re becoming senile already, you’re only in your late 30s. But if you’re not senile, prove it to me and the camera audience.”

You didn’t care about what he was saying, you just needed something in your mouth fast or else you’ll wake their neighbors up especially since your pus A is starting to get sloppier and wetter which means, “ Holy shit, she’s squirting. The pretty bunny is squirting on Muto’s dick nonstop, can’t wait for my turn, so hurry up Muto!” A new voice, Shion, the man who was edging himself this entire time. Muto snapped his hips up three more times, cumming inside of you. You were now stuffed with two of their cum and you somehow felt like your younger self again, in other words, a young cum slut again. Muto grip on your hips were gonna make a dark purple bruise on your sable skin, but you were too busy silent screaming as your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your mouth opened in a little O. Koko captured all of it and now he was capturing it up close with his cock getting worked by your hand as the Haitanis’ and inui took you together. The fact that you were getting fucked in both holes recklessly tells them what type of slut you were back then.

Ran and Rindou loved how well you were sucking their dicks inside of your pussy and prepared ass, thanks to Shion who fingered and ate your ass. Shion slobbering all over your puckering hole was a little embarrassing for you since everyone was watching but it felt so good so you moved the embarrassment to the back of your head. So he was finally useful for something after all these years and that was opening you up for Ran to shove his cock inside of your ass proudly and loudly too. Rindou’s cock had lots of girth so it was hard for him to fuck into you without hurting you until you declared, “ Wan’ more. Rindou please fuck me, stretch me I don’t care. Need more. Ahhghn.” Rindou took that as a go to slam inside of you at the same time of his brother slamming inside of you from below. Soon they both found cadence, so when Inupi came from the side to grab your head to let you suck him, everything fell into place like dominos.

Inupi was trying to hold his whimpers and moans back until Koko reached to slap his hands, “ No. No. Let her hear how amazing that slut of a mouth she has is.” And he did by grabbing your hair tightly in his clutch as his long but skinny cock moved inside of your mouth like he never wanted it to stop. Your moans from how hard and fast the Haitani brothers were fucking you was cut off by Inupi slamming his cock inside of your spit bubbles filled mouth. Fuck your face was getting messier as your mascara poured down your eyes and snot started to form, fuck you were so messy and that only turned Inupi and everyone else on even more. Your phone ringing non stop wasn’t even heard because of how much everyone was moaning, groaning, or screaming. Izana held your phone with a devilish smile on your face while looking at the caller ID with Benkei’s name appearing and disappearing from how much he was calling you. “Too late she’s with us now.”

☆ᩧ Original Black Dragons Gang l ୨ ♡l

Manjirou invited you over to his house again, this time it was only him so you were really excited. He wanted to watch you cook him your grandma’s Sunday dinner you rave about. He couldn’t focus on anything you had to say because he was just watching you cook with your pink polka dot apron that had “Hot Cook” on it. He was about to ask you a question about the macaroni and cheese but he got interrupted by Izana yelling his name all throughout the house trying to find where he was at.

Manjirou was annoyed he got cut off from his time alone with you so he and Izana were arguing and while they were arguing the doorbell rang again. You were debating if you wanted to get it but eventually you did because they kept arguing about you and other things. As you opened the door, three men including Benkei stood there.

Your action of hugging Benkei caused the other two men to be confused and jealous. After the hug, they all went inside and so Benkei introduced you to his friends. Handshakes came from Wakasa and Shinichiro while Takeomi tried to hug you just to feel your boobs squished against his chest. Mikey didn’t like the way the older men stared at you like you were the only person in the room. It irked Izana as well, seeing Shinichiro's eyes linger on your ass as you walked away to turn off the stove.

Great decision to turn off the stove and oven because you were being bent over the table by Shinichiro grabbing your hair as a cigarette hung from his mouth, “ Such a beauty you all were hiding from us.” Benkei’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth while both hands were occupied by Takeomi and Walasa’s cocks. Your jeans you wore were somewhere on the floor and the shirt completely ripped due to Takeomi’s hands so now you were only being fucked from behind with a apron on. Spit dripped down your chin as you tongue kissed Benkei so passionately as Mikey and his, final timeline, Toman gang sat on chairs, floor, and couches. All have their eyes on you getting fucked by people older than you. “ Mmphff.” Wakasa chuckled at you desperately moaning in the heated kiss you and his best friend shared, “Hear that, she’s enjoying this so much, did her body shudder from the touch of your hands… from the silence I could tell it didn’t so watch and learn boys.”

Shin yanked your hair in your hairstyle some more and pushed his long, hard cock inside of you. His baggy pants were on his ankles as he fucked you with skin to skin contact. His skin pumped fresh blood of excitement because he was fucking a Milf and he always wanted to fuck one, older or younger than him, he didn’t care. “ Shit! Her pussy is still so tight and comfortable after fucking every last one of you here. Such great pussy that you should treat as a prize every day. I always taught you guys right? Manjirou and Izana? To treat women like the best damn person to walk on earth and now I’m teaching you how to treat their pussies like the greatest prize you’ll ever get.” Manjirou gulped while Izana nodded his head, rolling his eyes after before speaking, “ You have a lot of nerve fucking my woman Shinichiro. Right in front of me.”

Shinchiro chuckled as he leaned down to your ear—stretching his arms to place his hands across your neck, squeezing it just right and not too tight, “ Little brother already claimed you huh? Benkei, how do you feel about this?” Benkei released your lips from his teeth since he was biting your lips as you moaned from the impact of Shinichiro’s hips smacking against yours at a steady and hard pace. Arashi’s cock was right in front of your face and you tried to reach to lick it but Shinichiro grabbed your hair and pulled your back depriving you of getting to lick his cock. You wanted to cry because you wanted him inside of your mouth so bad and Shinichiro was stopping you. Benkei gulped as he looked at you trying to suppress your moans and tears from falling out your eyes, “ She knows who she belongs with, so I feel good especially knowing that she’s choosing me after all of this is done.”

Soon after, Shinichiro pulled out and let Benkei take you to the couch that wasn’t sat on at all since Manjirou oddly enough had three couches in his living room. Once they did, you found yourself being spilt open by Wakasa and Benkei. Your hair was so messy from the hairstyle you had it in and your teary eyes were so watery that Takeomi almost felt bad for you as he fucked into your mouth, “ Mmmph, mmnnn, I cwn’tttmmmgh.” Double penetration was so hot and had you moaning like a bitch in heat. On top of that, Takeomi’s hair was down and sticking to his forehead so beautifully that you tried to keep eye contact with him as he pistol into your mouth with no care if your throat can take him, “ She’s so fucking pretty taking my dick down her throat like this, should frame it. So, Hanma get your ass over here to take a photo with your camera, you don’t mind right doll?” You tried to nod your head yes, but he just snapped his hips to your mouth causing you to gag loudly making the men inside of the living room groan and moan at your gags, “ my bad, thought you wanted more of my dick in you.” His pubic hairs were touching the sides of your mouth and nose from how deep he was inside of your mouth. And you loved it.

Benkei basked in the glory of your pussy taking all of his dick like a vixen at the same time of Wakasa fucking into your tight ass from above with one leg on the couch. Shinichiro was twisting your nipples causing more tears to fall because they still hurt from three days ago with the Haitani brothers sucking and playing with them. Benkei felt his dick getting wetter with your juices and moaned at the feeling of your warmth around him, “ Haven’t had pussy like this in a long ass time. Wanna get you pregnant so bad.” You moaned at his words because you were the most beautiful while pregnant and plus you loved the praise coming from him the most. It was him and Mitsuya praises that mean something to you. Wakasa gripped your neck with his hand, feeling Takeomi’s dick print moving in and out of you. Excitement from that, Wakasa happily plunged into your gaping ass, “ Say you want him to breed you, Princess. Wanna hear you loud and clear even if it’s through choked moans.” You shook your head, too embarrassed to say anything with a huge ass dick in your mouth slapping your uvula multiple times. Hanma was sitting on the other side of you taking pictures of this entire situation with a chilling smile on his face. Fuck, you looked so photogenic right now, well always really since he’s been taking pictures of you a lot lately.

Benkei and Wakasa slapped each of your cheeks with one of their hands creating more ripples and prints on your ass. You screamed and choked on Takeomi’s cock causing him to throw his head back in pure ecstasy, “ Fuck think m’bout to cum down her tight little throat.” Shinichiro tapped him as Benkei’s arms wrapped around your waist holding you in place as he pounded into you at a faster pace than before— Wakasa catching on and matching his pace. Their balls slapping against each other as they fucked into you, “ Let her speak a little but keep it in her mouth, wanna see her struggle to form words out her pretty, hot mouth.”

And he did just that, pulling half of his dick to hear Benkei now say it, “say you want us to breed you.” You moaned as you tried to bounce back on his cock, “ Wan’ you to brwwd meaaaa, I wanna cummmmh, want you cummmhhh.” Your words came out gibberish and you could tell it was filled with cock.

Shinichiro could tell you were enjoying yourself as if you never did, Wakasa did too which is why he spoke next, “ Would you look at that, the pretty princess acts like she never had cock this great in her entire life. Crying and slobbering everywhere while this pussy and ass gets stuffed to the brim. Seems like you all didn’t do your jobs.” Draken was the first to rebuttal, “ Fuck off, you old fuck.” Wakasa laughed and looked at him as he slapped your ass whilst holding eye contact with Draken to make him even more pissed. Wakasa's purple eyes grew more hazy as he trailed his fingers to your pudgy stomach, squeezing it causing you to squeal and choke on Takeomi’s cock causing him to cum deep inside of your throat from the vibrations of your coughs. Your hands tapped Takeomi’s thighs as he held your head while fucking his cum deep into your throat, “ Holy fuck! So fucking good f’me.”

Your vision was starting to see black spots as he held your head down. Snot was coming down your noise as much as your tears rolling down your face. God, you looked like a high class Slut. Their slut. Takeomi released you and you coughed immediately afterwards because you needed air especially since you were stuffed too much below and felt your lungs jump for air as he stuffed your mouth to the base of his cock. Takeomi and Shinichiro held your hair and tapped your cheek, Shinichiro laughed, “ So messy and pretty, so erotic and unreal as well.” Benkei fucked you with sweat rolling down his naked chest because his shirt was long discarded when he started fucking you. He could never get tired of fucking you, “ fuck!”, he moaned, not caring how he sounds, “ gonna”, feeling your pussy clench to him with a vice grip made him more feral, “ Cum inside”, Benkei lifted his hips into you, making you take all of his cock again, “ This”, your pussy was throbbing and melting his cock now, “ Pussy.”

Benkei came deep inside of you with a loud grunt of the word fuck stretch out. Soon as he did, your pussy started to make noises. Queefing noises, something you were embarrassed about yet everyone in the room knew one thing from that, you were enjoying yourself a lot more than they besides Wakasa thought. Even your cervix was moving back because of your pussy welcoming Benkei’s cum inside like no other. You couldn’t even moan because Wakasa was next to cum inside of you and with the way he rolled his hips and then snapped them into your ass was enough to leave you speechless and out of screams, “ Shit baby! Your hole wraps around my cock perfectly, couldn’t resist Cumming inside of this hole.”. Besides, you could feel your voice getting sore from how hard he was fucking it. You were breathing loudly as your cream on Arashi’s cock danced down his cock and his balls, the juices causing a funny feeling in between his ass cheeks, but he didn’t care especially with your tits in front of his face.

Shinichiro stood in Takeomi’s place with his cock out as he stroked it on your lips, “ Open, want you to take my load in your pretty little mouth, wish I could’ve came on your dreamy tits sticking out the side of that apron, but they’ll be for later.” You tiredly opened up your mouth to take his load and once his cum hit your tongue, it didn’t just hit that. His cum hit your chubby cheeks and forehead— dripping down now and surprisingly when you swallowed he tasted good, salty good, but not healthy due to cigarettes and beer. He turned to his brothers and their friends with a chibi smirk on his face, “ Guess we know which group is better. Just look at how tired and happy she is falling asleep on Arashi’s chest.”

Baji and Kazutora wanted to fight him because they both did the same thing with Chifuyu as well and Baji started to yell but was shushed by Benkei and Mitsuya. They stared at each other before nodding to one another afterwards. It’s obvious who you chose out of all of them.

ᰔᩚ ━ Tagging: @highpri3stess @dejwrld @honeybleed @simpingfor-wakasa @mastermindenoshimaalicia @happygoluckyalexis @bontens-angel and anyone else who wants to be tagged

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buckymorelikefuckme · 1 year

Text

cry baby

bucky barnes x fem reader

words: 7.3k

warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, edging, overstimulation, crying during sex, mentions of flushed cheeks, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, lapslock.

a/n: this is arguably one of my absolute fave fics i've ever written. she is near and dear to my heart :') i've provided the link for ao3 if you prefer to read it there! it's originally posted in two parts but i've combined them here. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡

“the boys are running late,” natasha informs you when you make your way to the table she’s conquered in the busy cafe. “sam texted a couple minutes ago and said he and bucky got stuck in traffic.”

it’s the second tuesday of the month, which means it’s brunch day. it’s a running tradition that’s stood for the four of you since your college days. the time and place has changed over the years, but everyone does their absolute best to attend every time. these tuesdays are your favorite, naturally.

you plop into an empty chair across from her with a heavy sigh. “good, that means i have time to bitch about how fucking horny i am before they get here.”

she snorts, taking a delicate sip of her latte. “what’s new?” she wonders sarcastically.

“you don’t understand,” you begin, leaning into the table, gripping the edge tightly. “it’s been months, and not like, a few, i mean it’s coming up on a year.”

natasha’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “a year? what about that guy you went on a few dates with a while back? didn’t anything happen with him?”

“no,” you grumble, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. you huff. “and even if something had happened, i doubt it would have been satisfying. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times sex has been even kinda pleasurable for me.”

“sounds like you’re picking shitty partners.”

you scowl. “i know that, but it’s not my fault. all these stupid men keep promising they’re gonna fuck me ten ways to sunday and not a single one of them can even get me to wednesday.”

natasha laughs. “you poor thing.”

“you’re really not helping me here,” you whine with a pitiful pout on your lips. “you are getting routine dickings, you have sam! i am not so lucky here.” you notice her attention flicks to somewhere behind you, but you’re not finished with your rant. “nat, i’m serious. all of my sex encounters are the equivalent of asking someone to scratch my back and then they scratch literally anywhere but the spot that itches. i want to be fucked so good that i cry, just—completely reduced to tears. is that too much to ask?”

nat is hiding her smile behind her hand, amusement painted across her sharp features. someone clears their throat behind you and you pinch the bridge of your nose. sam and bucky occupy the empty seats, sam next to natasha and bucky next to you. they’re both sporting wide grins, looking far too pleased about stumbling into this conversation.

sam opens his mouth, no doubt to make a smartass comment, but you cut him off before he can get a good inhale in.

“not a fucking word,” you grouse with a finger pointed in his direction.

he presses a hand to his chest, expression offended. “i would never make a joke about your truly tragic excuse of a sex life.”

bucky snickers quietly, but turns into a cough at your glare.

“i’ll murder you,” you promise.

“leave her alone, boys,” natasha says, rolling her eyes, though she’s visibly biting back her own laughter.

you huff, digging your wallet out of your purse. “i hate all of you,” you announce before getting up and going to stand in line to order.

bucky follows a moment later, coming to stand at your side and throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“that bad, huh?” he asks.

you don’t have to look at his face to know he’s probably smirking right now.

“fuck off,” you retort, not bothering to push his arm away since you know he’d only put it right back.

“aw, come on, don’t be like that,” he jests, “you know we just like to poke a little fun.”

you roll your eyes, throwing him an exasperated look. “yeah, but that was something only nat was supposed to hear. i hate talking about sex with you and sam because you two wouldn’t understand.”

“that’s not true,” bucky insists, which makes you roll your eyes again. “it’s not!”

“first of all, sam’s got natasha, so we both know they’re more than satisfied.” bucky tilts his head in acquiescence. “and you don’t have to worry about if you’re gonna have an orgasm when you hook up with somebody. men have it so easy.”

it’s probably not the best thing to talk about in line of a busy cafe (especially since you haven’t decided between a blueberry muffin or the ham and cheese croissant, and there’s only one person ahead of you now and you’d really rather not be discussing your lack of sex in front of an innocent barista) but it sort of feels good to get this off your chest, even if it’s to bucky.

“okay, definitely not true,” he replies with a frown. “i’m not always guaranteed an orgasm.”

you give him a skeptical glance. “i find that hard to believe.”

this time, it’s bucky who rolls his eyes. “whatever, whether or not i come when i have sex with someone isn’t what i was gonna talk about when i came over here.”

the person in front of you finishes their order and then you’re stepping up for your turn.

“hi, what can i get you today?” the young barista asks with a smile.

“a large mocha iced coffee with sweet cream and a blueberry muffin, please.” you pause, contemplating, then add, “and a ham and cheese croissant.”

if you can’t get fucked within an inch of your life then food will become your lover, you reason.

“just a black coffee for me, please,” bucky tells the girl, taking his wallet out of his back pocket and handing over his card to pay before you can stop him.

“i could’ve paid for mine,” you mumble.

“you also could just say thank you,” he replies with a short laugh as he ushers you to the side to wait for your order.

you pinch his hip, pouting. “thank you.”

“why does your gratitude come with violence?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot.

“you know how i am when people do nice things for me.”

“you should be used to it by now,” he points out.

“well, i’m not,” you huff. “anyway, what did you come over here to talk about then?”

bucky reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy all the sudden. “uh, well. i dunno, i just thought… you know, since you’re not—i mean, not that you couldn’t be, just—you haven’t been, so maybe… fuck.”

“spit it out,” you say with a giggle, wondering what in the world’s got him so tongue-tied.

“why don’t you let me?” he blurts, averting his gaze immediately after.

you tilt your head in confusion. “let you what?”

he sighs heavily, working his jaw in frustration. “you know…” he begins, digging his thumbnail into a knick on the countertop in front of you. “let me fuck you until you cry.”

“what?”

just then, your order is called. bucky quickly grabs it and turns to make his way back to the table, but you grab his arm to stop him.

“i don’t think so, you come back here right now and explain yourself,” you demand.

his eyes lift heavenward. “it’s just an idea, okay?”

“bucky, you’re talking about crossing a huge line. you can’t just throw that out all willy nilly!”

“i know,” he replies earnestly. “and it’s not—“ he grimaces at the phrasing, “willy nilly. you’re one of my best friends. i wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, and i wouldn’t offer this if i thought that it could. this is something that’s obviously affecting you negatively in your life and i’m willing to help. i trust you, and i’m pretty sure you trust me, yeah?”

“of course i trust you,” you say, frowning.

he shrugs. “so, then it’s just… a friend helping another friend.”

“you make it sound so simple,” you muse in wonder.

“think about it?” he implores.

you swallow roughly, biting the inside of your cheek. “fine. i’ll think about it.”

he nods and walks back over to the table where sam and natasha are waiting. you hesitate for only a split second before following.

needless to say, you’re distracted for the rest of brunch.

***

you: what even makes you think you could fuck me until i cry anyway?

it’s been nearly a week, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re actually considering taking bucky’s offer. it’s all you can think about since he brought it up. you can’t lie, you’ve always thought bucky was attractive, but ever since you were gently but firmly placed in the friend category back in university, you never allowed yourself to think of there ever being more between the two of you. he’s a wonderful friend to have and you’d have been an idiot to pass it up. bucky is kind and generous and just enough of an asshole to keep things interesting without it being a problem.

but this… this has left you reeling. why would he make such an offer after only ever keeping things strictly friendly and platonic in your relationship? and more importantly, where does he get the confidence to think he could follow through?

bucky: experience?

you make a face at your phone, furiously typing your reply.

you: ew. do you realize how douchey that sounds?

bucky: well, it’s not douchey if it’s true.

you: says you

bucky: and a few other people :)

bucky: you’d know it too if you’d let me fuck you

you exhale harshly through your nose, tapping your foot on the floor anxiously, carefully thinking of what you should say next.

you: it’s apparently a tall request, and thus far, nobody’s been able to deliver. you can understand my skepticism…

bucky: if i don’t leave you shivering and twitching with aftershocks of pleasure, in a mess of sweat and come, and tears stained on your cheeks, then i will have failed you.

your thighs squeeze together at the mental image that brings you. jesus christ, if he’s half as good at fucking as he is dirty talking then he just might do as he’s promising.

bucky: so? what do you say? wanna give it a try?

biting your lip, you give yourself a moment to weigh the pros and cons in your mind one last time.

it doesn’t take you very long to make your decision.

you: okay. we’ll try.

***

it’s a slightly overcast sunday when bucky comes over with the direct intention to fuck you. it should be weird, but strangely, all you feel is anticipation. maybe it’s because you know him so well and know that, no matter what, he’d take care of you.

(or, maybe it’s because those repressed college-aged feelings are doing their best to resurface, even though you steadfastly continue to ignore them.)

you’d taken a thorough shower earlier to ease the little bit of nerves you had when you’d woken up. cleaning up the small mess your apartment gathered over the last couple weeks helped, as well, and soon you found yourself standing in front of your lingerie drawer with your lips pursed.

you weren’t sure if you should even bother with it, but it felt you wouldn’t be putting in any effort into this encounter if you didn’t at least pick out nice underwear. so, with a pleased nod, you settle on some simple black lace panties and a matching bralette. not too much, but enough to satisfy yourself, and hopefully bucky. you pick out a simple sundress to put on over it, since you won’t be wearing much of anything once bucky gets here. that thought has you flushing, but you ignore it to put on some makeup, just to freshen up your face.

by the time he knocks on your door, you’ve already finished a glass of wine and are pouring yourself a second.

he smiles when open the door, a bit boyishly, greeting you with a quiet, “hi.”

“hi,” you return, just as soft. you open the door wider. “come in.”

he walks passed you, stopping to toe his shoes off and hang his jacket on one of the hooks.

“do you want a glass of wine?” you ask as you head to the kitchen to retrieve your own from the counter.

bucky follows, stopping in the entryway with his hands in his pockets. “no, thank you.”

you nod, taking a sip from your glass, trying to figure out what to say. the air feels a little awkward and you’re not sure how to fix it.

“nervous?” he wonders curiously.

you shake your head. “not really.”

he quirks a brow. “then what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know,” you murmur. “i guess i’m just worried we’re making a mistake.”

he hums. you take a larger sip of your wine.

with cautious steps, he comes closer to you. “what if i promise that things won’t be weird after?”

“you can’t really promise that, though.”

“sure i can,” he says, smiling. “it’s me and you. we’ve been friends for so long. plenty of people have sex and stay friends after.”

you’re not just ‘people’ to me, you think.

you sigh, frustrated with yourself. you can’t deny how badly you want this. it’s all you’ve been able to think about since that day in the cafe. but the thought of losing bucky is heartbreaking, and you don’t want your stupid horniness to be the reason that you ruin a friendship, even if he was the one to offer sex.

“why don’t we go make out on the couch for a little while first?” he suggests after a moment’s pause.

you snort, in spite of your thoughts. “like a couple of teenagers?”

his eyes crinkle on the sides when he grins. “yeah. we’ll just see how we feel about that, and if it leads to more, then…” he trails off, shrugging.

“that’s not a bad idea,” you concede.

“great! finish your wine.”

you laugh and do as you’re told, downing the little remaining wine in one go, sitting the glass down on the counter resolutely as you swallow.

“let’s do this,” you say, determined.

bucky huffs a laugh, grabbing your wrist and tugging you behind him as he makes his way to the couch. he settles slightly facing you as you tuck your legs under you beside him.

“do you wanna talk, or do you want to jump straight into it?”

“if we talk anymore i’m gonna change my mind. just kiss me already, bucky.”

“yes ma’am,” he sasses before doing exactly that.

he cups your cheek with one hand as the other is placed on your knee. he guides your face to his and kisses you chastely. you’re not sure where to put your hands at first, but you tell yourself to quit being a goober about it and place them on either side of his neck, your thumbs brushing under his jaw.

it’s an okay kiss, you have to admit, but it’s not really doing anything for you yet. he has soft lips, softer than you thought they’d be. you’re beginning to wonder if maybe this confirms you shouldn’t go any further when he tilts his head, and… hm.

he parts his lips, taking your bottom one between his, kissing it, then nipping it. you wouldn’t say the sound you make is a gasp, necessarily, but it’s close. his tongue lightly caresses the seam of your mouth and you don’t even think before you open up for him, letting his tongue sweep in, flicking against yours. you hum, scooting a tiny bit closer to him, chasing the feeling. his kisses turn insistent then, teeth biting at your bottom lip and tugging, soothing the ache with his tongue. he kisses you like a man quenching his thirst, like you’re the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted, and it’s leaving you dizzy. you sway more into his space and he pulls away from your mouth.

“c’mere,” he whispers, gripping behind one of your knees to drag it over his hips so you’re straddling him. “much better.”

you don’t have a chance to process anything about the moment, his mouth back on yours in a blink. your fingers wind themselves into his hair, getting a good grip on it as you lick into his mouth. he lets out a soft noise at that and you try your damnedest to pry it out of him again, pressing your chest to his so there’s not even a sliver of space left between you.

his hands travel, down the sides of your torso to your thighs, back up to your hips where he holds on tight. it doesn’t take long after that before you find yourself grinding into him. you both moan at the same time, breaking the kiss to pant for breath.

you swallow roughly. “okay,” you murmur, “i think it’s safe to say this could work.”

bucky laughs quietly. “yeah? wanna move to your bed then?”

your squeeze your thighs around him, shifting minutely on his lap and feeling the beginnings of his erection beneath you. “yes,” you breathe.

quickly, you rise from your position and step back, allowing bucky to stand, then grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. once you’re standing beside your bed, you turn to face him. he meets your halfway, pulling you into another, filthier kiss. you reach for his belt buckle, unfastening it and sliding it through the loops, tossing it to your floor. next are the button and zip of his jeans, shoved down his legs until he steps out of them and kicks them and his socks aside. he obediently lifts his arms when you slide your hands under his shirt and begin pushing it up, breaking the kiss to nearly yank it off, making bucky huff in amusement. once it’s tossed with the rest of his clothes, bucky grabs fistfuls of your dress and pulls you into him.

“my turn,” he says against your lips.

carefully, bucky helps you out of your dress, eyes raking over every bit of new skin shown to him. he bites his lip when he sees your lacy underthings.

“you got all dolled up for me?” he asks.

shifting under his stare, you nod. “wanted to look nice,” you admit.

he hums. “beautiful.”

he kisses you again, a little softer than before, but no less passionate. the urgency returns as he backs you up until your thighs hit the mattress. gently, he guides you onto your back, never breaking the kiss as he follows you down and settles over you.

you soon find yourself in need of air and pull away with a gasp. bucky is undeterred and instead presses his kisses down your jaw, to your neck where he decides to bite and suck until he’s left a mark you’ll have to reprimand him for later. he licks his way up to your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, drawing a whine out of you.

“bucky,” you whisper, hands gripping his sides as you squirm below him.

“hm?”

you close your eyes tightly when he makes his way back down to your collarbones.

“please,” you whimper.

“please what, sweetheart?” he asks, pushing himself up to look you in the eye.

“t-touch me,” you beg, cheeks flushing.

his lips quirk into a smile. “i am touching you.”

“bucky,” you whine.

“where do you want me to touch you, hm?” he wonders. one of his hands trails across your shoulder and down the center of your chest. “here? or… here?”

when his fingers glide, barely there, over your pebbled nipples, you push into the touch eagerly.

“or…” he continues, his feather light touch making a path down your stomach. your breath quickens in anticipation. “here?” he murmurs as his fingertips stop on your pantyline.

“yes, there, anywhere,” you agree hastily, “just —please. please, bucky, don’t tease me.”

he kisses you again, deep, full of promise. “you beg so prettily for me.”

he rearranges your positions until he’s between your spread thighs, sweeping his hands across the inside of them. he nods to your panties.

“may i?”

“yes, please,” you reply, lifting your hips to help him take them off.

he doesn’t give you a chance to close your legs in shyness, firmly grasping your knees in each of his hands and spreading them once again. the way he’s looking at you makes you feel unbelievably desirable, has excitement crawling up your spine.

“don’t forget,” you remind him, making his eyes flick up to yours in question, “you better make me cry.”

a slow, dangerous smile graces his lips. your stomach swoops eagerly.

a whine, high pitched and drawn out, escapes your lips. after you unwittingly challenged him, bucky took it upon himself to torture you—with sex. so far, he’s only used his fingers on you, in you, thrusting them steadily but never enough to bring you to climax. he’s taking his time and being a smug prick about it. you go to complain, again, hoping if you beg enough he’ll let you come, but before you can do more than open your mouth he’s quickening his pace.

“oh!” you gasp, clutching the sheets in your hands.

bucky slides his hand down your thigh, bringing his thumb inward to swipe around where his other fingers are buried inside you to gather your wetness and using it to rub circles on your clit. your back arches, head thrown back against your pillows as you feel your orgasm build. it’s not tears, but damn, it feels good enough.

just as you start to clench around his fingers, legs spasming, he stops.

your eyes open in a hurry, brows furrowing in confusion. “no, please, don’t stop,” you plead.

bucky smiles. “i gotta get the right build up.”

you groan in frustration. he laughs quietly and lets the inferno burning within you simmer down to embers, then starts inching his way down until he’s lying on his stomach, mouth poised above your pussy. the feel of his warm breath makes you shiver, and with no warning whatsoever, he leans in and sucks your clit into his mouth.

“fuckin’—oh my— bucky!”

you’re pretty sure you black out for the next several minutes, the only thing you’re aware of is the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears and the feel of bucky’s mouth on you. you’re lost in a mindless haze of pleasure, unable to think or feel anything else. you feel your orgasm cresting for the second time, and just as before, bucky pulls away before you can succumb to it.

“why,” you hiccup on a moan, wanting nothing more than to just come already, but he’s not letting you.

he shushes you, softly kisses your knee. sitting up to take his underwear off, bucky keeps his eyes on you, expression hungry.

“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he promises. “just a bit more. you’re being so good for me, yeah?”

“please,” you whimper, feeling completely pathetic.

he makes quick work of putting a condom on and then settles between your thighs. you sigh in relief when he wastes no time and pushes in, being careful not to go too fast. once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, wanting to give you time to adjust, but you’re back to whining.

“bucky, please, please just—fuck me,” you beg, squirming beneath him.

he takes mercy on you, finally, and sets a hard pace. your hands fly up to push against the headboard, moaning and gasping from his harsh thrusts, loving the stretch of him inside you. his thumb is back on your clit and you cry out, clenching hard around him, but his thrusts don’t falter. all too soon, you can feel yourself getting close. you hear your own voice chanting please, please, please, mixed in with bucky’s grunts and the sound of him fucking you.

you whimper, eyes squeezed shut as your climax hits the point of no return, crashing over you in waves. you think you might scream, but it’s hard to pay attention to anything other than the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. part of you thinks this’ll be it, bucky will come now and then you’ll have had one of the best orgasms of your life and he’ll be on his merry way home. but no, that’s not what happens.

instead, bucky keeps thrusting relentlessly into you, dragging out your pleasure to the point of oversensitivity.

“s’too much,” you breathe, gasping for air.

bucky shakes his head, face contorted in concentration. “one more,” he tells you, voice gruff and deep.

unbelievably, you feel tears beginning to gather in the corners of your eyes. bucky’s still rubbing your clit, still keeping a steady rhythm of his hips, and fuck, he’s so beautiful. you watch him fucking you, wondering how the fuck you got to this moment, how you got lucky enough to bear witness to the sight of bucky fucking, let alone be the one he fucks. his body is ridiculous, looking like it’s carved from marble. you know how much strength it holds, as well, know that if he really wanted to, he could probably fuck you against a wall.

it’s with that thought, with the added bonus of the way bucky touches you, looks at you, like you’re something treasured and gorgeous, giving you such intense pleasure, that the tears threatening to spill over finally fall from your lashes.

bucky notices, because of course he does, and he thrusts into you just a little faster, a little harder, and your body seizes up and then you’re falling into another orgasm. it spreads through your veins, slow like honey, making sure this one settles deep into your bones. bucky groans as he, too, reaches climax, hips twitching into you in aftershocks until he stops moving altogether.

you both pant for breath, sweat gathered in every crevice on your bodies. you think you won’t be able to move for the rest of the weekend.

“need to pull out,” bucky says softly, breaking the moment.

you nod and he carefully pulls his hips back, grunting. you poorly suppress a whimper and close your legs, already hating the empty feeling.

“well,” he starts, plopping himself on his back next to you, “i think i deserve some kind of reward.”

when you turn to face him with an exasperated look, he’s got his arms crossed behind his head, a smug smile across his lips.

“how about i don’t kick you in the balls? how’s that for a reward?”

“i literally just did the impossible.”

“what, made me come twice? i can do that all on my own. you’re not special,” you retort with a huff.

he scoffs. “i fucked you so good you cried.”

“you can’t prove it,” you say to the ceiling.

“keep up this attitude and i won’t do it again,” he threatens, poking you in your side.

you wiggle away from the ticklish touch while trying to tamp down on the hope bubbling in your chest.

“oh, we’re doing this again, are we?” you say as casually as possible.

he rolls his eyes. “of course we are. now,” he sits up in your bed, stretching his arms as he stands and picks up his underwear, “i’m starving. wanna order takeout?”

well, you guess if you’d been worried about any kind of awkwardness before, you shouldn’t have. this is bucky, your best friend. he’d never let things change between you.

***

except, things kinda change between the two of you.

it’s not very noticeable at first, changes so subtle you miss them, until one day he showed up at your apartment and greeted you with a kiss. you stood frozen in your doorway as he rambled about how stressful his day had been as he kicked his shoes off. it was only when you heard him calling out from the kitchen that he was gonna eat your leftovers that you snapped out of it, yelling back that you’d kick his ass if he even touched your dumplings.

another day, he facetimes you and asks if you want to go to see that new movie you’ve been talking about.

“oh,” you’d said. “are nat and sam coming, too?”

he’d given you a funny look, replied, “no, i thought it would just be us two.”

“oh,” you said again. “okay.”

so you’d gone to the movies, let him buy you buttery popcorn and peanut m&m’s and a soda bigger than your head. he shared with you, despite your protests, and halfway through the film you felt his hand settle on your thigh. you blinked and stared at it for a beat, turning to him in question. he only smiled at you briefly before focusing back on the movie.

in between all of this, you continued calling him over for sex. honestly, how could you not? as much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, he was the best you’ve ever had. and if he’s so willing, why shouldn’t you take advantage while you can?

a week ago, though, you’d texted him and asked him to come over, replying to his question of what time and then started getting ready. you’d purchased a new piece of lingerie, a periwinkle babydoll nightie, that left very little to the imagination. it had a matching pair of panties and felt soft and luxurious on your skin. you’d taken extra time to do your hair and makeup, wanting to look like sex on legs, and you’re pretty sure you succeeded.

but when he got there and you answered the door in your sexy outfit, he didn’t see it right away. in one hand he held his phone, typing something on it, and in the other hand he held a grocery bag that you eyed curiously.

“i brought stuff to make spaghetti—“

when he did finally look up, his eyes widened and traveled the length of your body several times. you bit your lip, trying and failing to hold back your smile.

“how about we skip dinner?” you’d said, fisting his nice button-up shirt and dragging him inside your apartment. you grabbed the grocery bag from his hand and sat it on the floor, absently noting he was wearing his date jeans.

whoops, you’d thought, hope i didn’t pull him away from someone important.

you hadn’t let yourself dwell on it, standing up on your tippy toes and kissing him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. he’d returned the kiss, licking into your mouth, drawing your tongue out so he could suck on it and made you moan embarrassingly loud.

“wait,” he’d murmured, “we should eat first.”

“or, you could eat me,” you’d retorted with a giggle.

he groaned like it pained him to say no, gripped your hips hard and put a tiny bit of distance between you. the look in his eyes had made you want to find the nearest flat surface and bend over.

“why don’t you be a good girl for me, hm? let me cook dinner for us and after we eat i’ll fuck you however you want me to. okay, sweetheart?”

you whined, but ultimately agreed, knowing he’d make it worth it.

and then there’s tonight, where he came over unannounced, armed with groceries again and promising to cook you the best meal you’ve ever had. to say you were confused would be an understatement, but you also didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.

it’s just… well, bucky’s not really acting like a friend with benefits. sure, you hung out alone with him all the time before, but he never once cooked you dinner, and he certainly never helped wash dishes after. you guess the hello kisses could be explained away as part of the new aspect of your relationship, but something about that didn’t sit quite right with you.

after a truly delicious dinner, you find yourself on the couch with bucky as he scrolls through netflix to find a movie to put on.

“what do you want to watch?” he asks.

“mm,” you mumble, shifting closer to start kissing his neck, “don’t care.”

as he narrows down his decision and finally picks one, you make your way up to his jaw, sucking a small mark into the skin there.

“baby,” he protests softly, “let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”

you pull back, confused. first at the pet name, then at his words. he’s never denied you before, which isn’t to say that he can’t, it’s just that he’s always seemed on board. and, you know, you thought that was kind of the whole point of this thing.

“okay,” you reply after a moment.

he gives you a smile and a sweet kiss, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side to cuddle. you can’t help but frown, feeling like you’re missing something, but not knowing what it could be.

it doesn’t take long for drowsiness to creep up on you. before he showed up, you had planned on probably ordering out for dinner and going to bed early since you’d had a pretty rough day. in fact, you remember texting bucky about it just that afternoon. your eyelids get heavier and heavier, finding it harder to keep them open as the seconds pass. your head droops and in the next blink, you’ve fallen asleep.

you’re not sure how much time has passed when bucky wakes you, but you groan, pouting and burrowing into his shoulder more.

he huffs a laugh. “c’mon, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.”

“don’ wanna move,” you mumble tiredly.

“i’ll carry you,” he offers. “up you go, baby.”

you half heartedly argue about being jostled, but let him carry you to your bed where he carefully places you, helping you out of your sweatpants and pulling your blankets up around you. you sigh in content, feeling yourself already drifting back into sleep. you hear bucky shuffling, but think nothing of it until the bed dips beside you, then feel his warm body slide in underneath the covers and press in close.

“goodnight, darlin’,” he murmurs.

you’d ask him what in the word he’s doing, but sleep is just far too enticing to ignore. you fall into slumber with bucky’s warmth along your back, his arm draped over you.

the next morning, you wake to the feeling of his fingers playing with the tiny bow on the front of your panties and his lips placing gentle kisses on your shoulder. you hum, eyes still closed, in the back of your mind thinking this is a nice way to wake up. at the sound of you, his touches get firmer, more insistent.

“good morning,” he rasps, breath tickling your ear.

you don’t really get a chance to reply. he dips his fingers into your panties, making you inhale sharply, moaning as you buck into his hand. he fingers you for a while, kissing along the column of your throat, biting and sucking marks into the skin there. when you’re begging him for more, he relents, eases your panties off and lifts your leg to slide in from behind. the angle is so nice it has you gasping.

you clutch the sheets weakly, burying your face in your pillow and muffle your whines and moans. bucky keeps a slow, lazy rhythm, acting as if he’s got all the time in the world to draw this out. it’s good, so good, and you can’t hold back your whimper when he kicks up the pace a little, tells you to touch yourself. you come seconds before he does, shuddering through it and humming happily.

as you both lie there and catch your breath, awareness trickles into your mind. you swallow roughly, staring blankly at the wall as you realize your feelings have grown far too much for this to be only casual anymore.

bucky kisses your shoulder again. “i’m gonna go make breakfast, okay? i’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“okay,” you whisper, blinking rapidly to keep tears from forming.

hearing bucky bustle around your kitchen makes your heart clench with want; want for something you can’t have.

***

bucky: dinner tonight?

you bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the text. you know you need to cut things off with him before you get anymore hurt than you already are. it’s not fair to either of you if you continue with this arrangement when you’ve caught real feelings for him. you have to tell him, and soon. with that thought in mind, you type out a reply.

you: sure. what time?

bucky: reservations are at 8pm, i’ll pick you up by 7:45.

reservations? where was he taking you? you get another text before you can ask.

bucky: dress nice ;)

with a sigh, you text back an affirmative and try to start mentally preparing yourself for the conversation you dreaded having. you could only hope and pray that he agrees to still be your friend after.

by the time there’s a knock on your door that night, you’ve worked yourself up into an anxious mess. you open the door to see bucky standing there with a single peach colored rose and a bashful grin.

“hi,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you on your cheek. “this is for you.”

he hands you the rose and you feel your heart crack in your chest. you muster a small smile.

“thank you. let me go put this in a vase and we can head out.”

he nods and waits patiently at the door. as you fill a vase with a little water, you take a deep breath, giving yourself a mental pep talk.

this was going to suck.

the drive to the restaurant doesn’t take too long, and when you see where he’s taken you, your eyebrows shoot up. this is one of the nicer places in the city, definitely not on the affordable side. he helps you out of the car, leading you inside with his hand on the small of your back. you’re led to a small booth in a far corner with overhead lighting that feels too intimate. maybe you’d have to wait until you left to tell him…

conversation is light, a bit surface level, and you get the feeling that bucky is a little nervous. you wonder if maybe he’s gonna let you down gently first, hoping that he doesn’t, because you’d rather not cry in such a fancy restaurant.

after the waiter takes your drink orders, bucky sighs.

“okay, let me just… get this off my chest.”

oh fuck, here it goes.

“i know i’ve never really come across at the most romantic guy, especially since i’ve never felt the need to be.” he runs a nervous hand through his hair. “you’ve always been so important to me, and this last month has been so, so wonderful.”

“bucky…” you trail off, attempting to somehow stop him, but he powers through.

“i just—i never thought i’d find somebody, you know?” he says, earnest, gaze locked on yours. another crack in your heart. “especially not somebody who was my friend first, that i already had a solid foundation with. the attraction had always been there, but the friendship meant more to me, and finally allowing that to blossom into this amazing, new, fun relationship has got to be the best decision i’ve ever made.”

did he start dating someone and not tell you? oh god, has he been sleeping with someone else? at the same time? your stomach turns, eyes burning, hating yourself more and more as he speaks.

“so, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling, “happy one month anniversary, sweetheart.”

you blink, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “what?” you croak, beyond confused.

bucky, however, looks concerned. “baby, why are you crying?”

“i…” you blink some more, eyes flitting around the room as if you’ll get some kind of clarity that way to the situation currently happening. “what?” you repeat.

“did i come on too strong?” he asks, looking embarrassed now. “i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to celebrate, but i’ve just been so happy with you—i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve asked.”

“bucky, what are you talking about?” you finally manage, unable to keep the bewilderment out of your tone. “anniversary?”

bucky frowns. “i didn’t get the date wrong, did i?”

“no, i—this isn’t—i’m not talking about—ugh, i mean, when did we even start having an anniversary to celebrate?”

bucky’s face goes blank, sitting back in his chair. your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so fucking confused, so fucking hopeful.

“we… we’re dating,” he says, slow, unsure. “aren’t we?”

“since when?” you ask probably too loudly, cheeks flushing.

he opens and closes his mouth a couple times. “when i asked you out?”

“bucky, oh my god, you’re gonna have to be more specific before i lose my goddamn mind. when did you ask me out?”

he huffs, his own cheeks flushing. “at the cafe! a month ago, at brunch with natasha and sam.”

your eyes widen in disbelief. “when you asked if you could fuck me until i cried?” you hiss, ignoring the scandalized look on the waiter’s face as he brings your drinks over.

smiling apologetically, you thank him and wait until he’s gone before sending a glare bucky’s way.

“that’s not how you ask a person out,” you seethe.

“i asked if you wanted to give this a try and you said yes!” he replies desperately. “i’ve taken you on dates!”

you pinch the bridge of your nose, thinking of all the times you thought he was being too romantic, more-than-friends type of behavior. you’re a fucking idiot, but god, so was he.

“at no point did you say anything even remotely close about us starting a relationship. i thought we were just fucking, bucky, i didn’t realize it was more than that!”

“you don’t—“ he starts, then stops, looking down at the plate in front of him. “you don’t want to be with me?”

“i didn’t know it was an option,” you say carefully.

“well, it is.” he meets your gaze, cautious. “i just spilled my guts to you. you know how i feel now. how do you feel? about me?”

you lick your lips. “bucky, i… i was planning to end things with you tonight.” his expression drops, even though he tries to mask it, so you’re quick to explain. “not because i don’t like you, but because i do like you and i thought you wouldn’t want anything more than just sex with me.”

“it’s never been and never could have been just sex with you,” he replies, quiet and relieved. he reaches across the table to take your hand in his. “i meant it when i said you’re the best decision i’ve ever made. i want this—the sex, the dinners, dates, all the gross and sappy shit i never wanted before… i want it all with you, if you’ll have me.”

you can’t fight the smile spreading across your lips. “of course i’ll have you, bucky.”

he smiles in return, a laugh bubbling out of him, which makes you giggle, until you’re both laughing so hard and loud that patrons from other tables are sending dirty looks your way, which only makes you laugh more.

“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, laughter dying down. “there’s pizza and sex calling our names, i think.”

bucky moans dramatically. “i knew i liked you for a reason.”

he leaves money on the table and then the two of you quickly make your way through the restaurant, giggling and holding hands the whole way, even in the car.

#avengers fic #marvel fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

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thischarmingmandalorian · 2 months

Text

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship

Couple, Bar Chapter 1

Summary: After you help Joel with a work project, he takes you out for drinks. When the bartender mistakes you for a couple, his brain short circuits.

Pairing: Single Dad Neighbor!Joel Miller X Reader

Warnings: Joel thinking being mean is flirting, alcohol, grinding on strangers, getting groped in public, no-no words. In my mind there's an age gap (10 years max) and I envision a mid-40s Joel, but I don't think it'll ever become apparent.

Word Count: 2.3k

Notes: Formatting on mobile is not for the weak, y'all, so if this looks like ass I'm sorry. I don't know what a contractor does. Song mentioned is Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) by Studio Killers. Full playlist is linked on the master post for this series (which I'll learn to link all together soon I promise I'M OLD, OK?!) Also I promise I have an English degree but if I read this one more time I'll lose the nerve to post it so ignore any mistakes I missed. Anyway love you bye.

While you weren't on your neighbor Joel's payroll, every now and then he'd knock on your door and sheepishly ask to borrow your "eye for design," which was Joel talk for "I need help knowing what handles look good on these cabinets I'm building and every other person in my life is busy."

You and Joel had been neighbors for the better part of 5 years and had become relatively close in that time. If you were being honest with yourself, the first day you met you might have fallen in love, but since immediately jumping into a relationship with a newly-divorced single father wasn't on your five-year plan, those feelings were buried, albeit not always successfully.

Joel was charming, kind, and... Southern. And while these were all things that made you head over heels for him, they were exactly what made it difficult to interpret his feelings for you. Were he and Sarah baking you Christmas cookies and hand delivering them to your door because he too had a crush, or was he just being neighborly? Was he grinning every time he said hello to you because he was a nice guy? What were you supposed to make of that one time, on his couch for movie night, when his hand lingered a little longer than normal on your thigh? You had no idea, and for the sake of your friendship, you were content not knowing.

On this particular day, Joel needed help matching paint colors to flooring samples and might as well have been color blind. He was building a house for a newlywed couple and their wishes for, as Joel put it, "some 1960s Brady Bunch bullshit" aesthetic meant nothing to him. You had spent the better part of an hour helping Joel match swatches of green and orange in ways that he had previously thought impossible, and as a thank you, he offered to buy you a drink at the first bar you spotted on the way home.

The first bar you spotted happened to be an almost-literal hole in the wall, but the packed parking lot indicated it was a place worth visiting. Joel opened the door, beckoning you through the threshold ahead of him, and you're hit with a wall of smoke and the bump of a local dj working through his set.

Luckily most of the people at the bar had already started drinking and were congregated in the middle of the tiny dance floor, making it easy to find two seats. Joel flagged the bartender over and ordered for the both of you, handing his card over to start a tab.

"Got you a beer, this place doesn't look like they'd make a good margarita," Joel shouts over the music.

You smile, leaning in close to thank Joel. "I appreciate the forethought! Send me a Venmo request for what I end up owing you," you gesture to the frosty bottles that get put in front of you.

Joel tuts and waves his hand between you two in a noncommittal gesture. He leans in close to your ear instead of shouting this time, "consider it payment for your help today. When that couple told me they wanted their house to be 'midcentury Palm Springs chic' I knew you'd know what they meant. The wife kept sending me links to her Pinterest board, whatever the fuck that is. I was too scared to click them because..."

"Because you're fucking old," you finish, barking out a laugh at the frown that Joel gives you.

After one beer turned into three, Joel starts to open up. Despite his gruff exterior, you know he cares and is interested in your life, even if it takes some alcohol to get him asking about it.

"Have you started dating yet?" The question catches you off guard, your eyes growing wide. "What? You've been in town for five years now, it's high time you start putting yourself out there. A pretty girl like you should have no trouble finding a man."

There it is again. Is Joel just being nice calling you pretty? Or is he fishing for something more?

"Have you started dating?" you counter, raising an eyebrow, nodding when Joel shakes his head. "I'm too busy, Joel. I'm…"

"'Focusing on my career,'" Joel finishes for you, having heard it all before.

You roll your eyes. "Why are we talking about this?"

Joel smirks and cocks his head to your beer, the label in the process of being peeled completely off. "You've peeled the label off every drink you've had tonight."

"Oh…kay?"

Joel shrugs, "if Tommy were here he'd say you're pulling the labels off because you're sexually frustrated." He makes a face as if to say 'but what do I know?'

You raised an eyebrow at Joel. "You of all people should know not to take what Tommy says as fact. And you're one to talk; you live across the street, I'd notice if women were coming over. And they're not. You're going through a dry spell, Miller, same as me." You empty your bottle, stuffing the label down the neck and waving the bartender over for you and Joel to order one more round. Joel tries to think of a witty comeback, but he knows you're right.

You watch the bartender open your tab on the till behind the bar and chuckle when you notice what she's titled it: at the top of the screen, in bold letters, "COUPLE BAR."

You tap Joel's bicep, pointing to the screen, "look at that, Miller," you shout over the music, "she thinks you and I are a couple."

Joel looks at the screen himself, eyes suddenly going wide. You raise an eyebrow at him, confused as to why he isn't just chuckling at the bartender's misunderstanding, but your expression turns to one of anger once Joel regains use of his brain and the only thing he can think to say is, "... ew?"

You hope you just misheard him over the loud music, but as Joel started to sputter out an apology, looking horrified at what he had said, you realize - a stranger thought you two were dating, and Joel thinks that's gross. You weren't interested in hearing him trip over his words while he tried to backtrack, and you desperately needed a distraction so you didn't start to cry. You wave your hand in front of Joel's face, telling him to save it as you grab your beer and push past him to the dance floor.

This is definitely not your scene, the middle of a smoke-filled bar on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, but you make the most of it, taking a swig from your bottle as you push through the crowd. Once you've made your way to the center of the crowd, you assume the position - eyes closed, bottle raised above your head, swinging your hips to whatever top 40 hit the dj decides to bleed into the last one he played. You don't have to wait long before you feel a body push up behind you and you welcome the distraction. You don't open your eyes or lower your hand except to drink from your near empty bottle, but you do back your ass up against the stranger behind you. It's definitely not Joel. This person behind you is way too lanky; when his arms encircle your waist they lack definition, his thighs aren't nearly as beefy as Joel's, and… you get frustrated with yourself. Joel just insinuated dating you would be gross and all you can do is think about how hot he is?

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts and enjoy the moment. The guy behind you is getting handsy, and normally that would bother you, but Joel was right about that dry spell. One song bleeds into another as you gyrate against this stranger who now has his hand splayed across your stomach under your shirt.

You're ripped unceremoniously from your mindless grinding by a large hand on your shoulder. You wink one eye open though you knew it was Joel. You're not interested in hearing him out, especially not with this stranger's hand gliding slowly up your torso, boldly inching closer to your chest.

"Darlin'" you hear Joel shout over the music, "'m sorry. I didn't mean…"

You put your palm in front of Joel's face before moving your hand on top of the stranger's, whose fingers are teasing the hem of your bra. Joel can be sorry, but he's also going to see how decidedly not-ew the thought of being with you is.

"Whatever, Joel. You can think being my boyfriend is gross. This is fine!" You open your eyes and the look on Joel's face is one you've never seen before. At this point he isn't looking at you, he's staring daggers at the man behind you. Whoever he is seems blissfully unaware.

"Honey, I'm out of touch. I'm fucking old, you said it yourself! I don't know how to - hey, buddy, do you fucking mind?" The hand under your shirt loses its grip on you as Joel shoves the shoulder of the guy behind you. Suddenly his body unglues itself from your back.

"My bad, man. Didn't know she had a boyfriend," he shouts over the music as he disappears back into the crowd. You groan and roll your eyes.

"So sorry, Joel! Turns out when you look and act like my boyfriend, people think you really are! How embarrassing for you," you ramble into Joel's ear. You turn to walk off the dance floor, embarrassed, but before you're out of his reach Joel grabs your forearm, pulling gently until you're flush with his body. He towers over you, his eyes bore into yours.

"Please listen," he bends to speak quietly into your ear, "I'm sorry, and I mean it. We're friends, and I value that. I thought I was bantering, bein' funny. I know you don't want to be a couple at this bar. I know you want to be friends, nothing more, with me. But…" he trails off, pulling away to look at your face.

The atmosphere changes in a way that you swear is straight out of a movie. The lights pulsing and flashing are hitting Joel's face in a way that makes him even more handsome, which you'd thought previously impossible. While your beer bottle is empty, clutched into your hand that hangs limply at your side, Joel's drink is nearly full, still frosty, and dripping condensation through your shirt, soaking your lower back. Joel's eyebrows are raised, waiting for you to do or say anything.

And then the dj changes the song. You are… intimately familiar with what begins to play and you shake your head, chuckling. What divine intervention drove the dj to start playing a song about ruining a friendship at this very moment? You have no idea, but you make a mental note to thank the universe as you smile at Joel. You push away from him for just a second, long enough to rip the label off your empty beer bottle. Joel looks confused watching you ball up the damp paper.

You chuckle as you toss the label at Joel, it pinging off his temple before you spin your body so your back is plastered against Joel's front.

You'll show him sexually frustrated.

Joel seems to take a second to read the situation because his body doesn't move. In fact, it goes rigid. Your hips sway against him anyway. Joel only breaks out of his spell when your arm snakes around his neck and you bury your fingers in his hair. Tugging gently on his curls seems to awaken something in him and his hands are on you in seconds. The hand clutching his beer comes to rest on your hip as the other picks up where your previous dance partner left off, creeping under your shirt and splaying across your stomach.

"What are we doin' here, baby?" Joel rasps into your ear, his voice deeper and more strained than you're used to. "I guess I deserve you teasin' me, but two can play this game." Joel's nose prods at a spot behind your ear as he peels one cup of your bra away from your body, replacing it with his hand. Your eyes fly open to ensure no one notices, but everyone on the dance floor is busy paying attention to their own partners. Joel rolls your nipple between two fingers before giving it a flick; you try and suppress a moan.

Not to be outdone, you reach for the beer bottle in Joel's hand. You make sure Joel's eyes are locked on you as you lick a stripe up the neck of the bottle, taking a generous sip before handing it back. Joel's eyes widen and he smirks, bringing his mouth back to your ear.

"Think it goes without sayin' now, but I really don't hate the idea of people thinking you're mine," Joel accentuates his last word with a gentle nip at your earlobe that makes your head loll back onto his shoulder.

"Are you listening to the song, Joel?" You reach up to place your hand on Joel's cheek, turning his face gently so your eyes meet. He looks confused, but you can tell he's training his ear onto the chorus of what's playing.

I wanna ruin our friendship

We should be lovers instead

I don't know how to say this

'Cause you're really my dearest friend

Joel lowers his eyes back down to meet yours and smirks. "You an' me both, darlin'." His hand around your waist pulls you impossibly closer and you feel him grow hard against your ass.

"Know where I last heard this song?" The final notes start to dissipate, melding seamlessly with the next song. Joel shakes his head and asks where. You smirk, nuzzling into Joel's neck before you lick a stripe up to his ear. "It's on my sex playlist."

Joel stills. You grin, giggling as he pushes you away gently. "I've gotta close out the tab," he says once he remembers how to form thoughts into words. "Meet me at the truck. And think about what song you're gonna put on once I get you home."

#joel miller smut #fanfic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #tlou smut #couple bar #neighbor!joel

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creatingblackcharacters · 2 months

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How to spot a Stereotype: An Example

Okay, so I talked about this in my Lesson 6 Stereotypes series, but I feel like people haven't quite... Understood what I meant. So I'm doing a mini lesson/application. First, I'd really appreciate it if you take the time to read the links in my posts, because that will provide you the historical and social context necessary. If you lack it, you will never be fully able to understand this. Remember, all I do here is provide the beginning steps. You have to be willing to do the rest!

One thing I constantly emphasize is that it's not the description of a character that (always) reveals an existing stereotype, but the writing! And again, until you grasp why anti-Black stereotypes are what they are, you will continue to be frustrated with how to avoid incorporating them, both in your writing and in your mindset. I'm going to use one stereotype as an example.

The Mammy Stereotype

"[Black woman character] is very fond, doting, and protective. She's like the team mom of the group."

On the surface, people who are worried about this stereotype will worry, because Black readers have long rolled their eyes and said we're tired of seeing this as one of the Only Options for Black women characters. And we are. Here's the disconnect: the attributes are not what we're tired of, but how they were utilized in the writing- often by non-Black writers!

Mammy: put simply, the caricature of the Mammy is the Black nursemaid that would take care of the Master's white children and the Mistress, prioritizing them above the well-being of herself, her own children, and her own community. She is fat and homely (so as not to attract the Master from the Mistress), unthreatening, sweet and subservient.

In other words, the only value she held was to serve white people's needs (and quench their guilt).

While the image of the Mammy herself is a strong imagery that has faded from its specific origin, I would say the modern day fan archetypes that ring of the Mammy stereotype are the Black woman character that "holds the Braincell", the "begrudgingly fond mother of the group", the canon love interest now relegated to the "mommy/mean lesbian" whose feelings are erased altogether, her new role to help the two white characters get together without acknowledgment of her own potential. She has no real story of her own, or as mentioned, has her own story stolen because "it doesn't look good with her in it" (which is its own bag of worms).

Now, people often give these characters motherly (or what society deems motherly) traits: caring, sweet, protective, loving, self sacrificial. Because they want to defensively show that "they're a great person! Nothing bad! I still think they're good! I'm not racist!"

But upon learning of the stereotype, there appears this insecurity- "oh, my Black woman character has these traits, is she playing into this stereotype?" When you get to this question, what you really need to be asking yourself is:

What makes the Mammy a Mammy?

They are a tool, a utility to white people with more power.

They lack autonomy. How they feel is irrelevant, if it does not serve the white person.

Nonthreatening so as to feel "harmless" to white people who bask in her "selfless" care.

They are not allowed to show frustration or upset at their lot or at life; it is seen as a negative attribute because if they are not caring, they have no use (and may now even be considered a threat).

They will also disagree with anyone else, even to the detriment of themselves, to the benefit of the white person. This is considered "selfless", rather than sacrifice (consider that "real" Mammies were originally slaves. They probably hated every single day with the people they "cared" for, but God forbid they speak on it. To white people, they were supposedly so happy and grateful! Smile and nod!)

Notice, out of the things I listed, "strong", "protective", "intelligent", and "caring" weren't there! Because those aren't bad attributes for a Black character to have! Why would we ever suggest that?? Why would I be mad that a Black woman was any of those wonderful things to her peers? That's not the issue. The issue is that they are often used in service of usually white characters and their stories. They're a tool of the writer to coddle their white characters, versus a character that has their own inner workings and existence.

Knowing what you know now; things that would make your strong, protective, and caring Black woman character fit the Mammy stereotype can include:

If she is pushed to the side with no autonomy or inner life of her own, as the narrative centers the white characters and their needs.

If she is never shown to have any reason for acting outside of to the benefit of the white characters around her. That's the only time her presence counts.

If her disagreeing with, getting upset with, or refusing (or really, just not being "motherly") the white characters is deemed trashy by the narrative (whereas anyone else receives nuance or reason for their behavior).

If the white characters in the story treat her poorly, and it is treated as a good thing that she "stays calm" without any sort of reflection on her feelings.

You can come up with any sort of setting, plot scenario, and description of your Black woman character. But at the end of the day, what's going to make it the stereotype is how the narrative treats her, which you will only find out by writing it, and then reviewing your own work!

You're going to have to approach any stereotype this way. It's part of the *intent* thing I keep pushing 😅 if you don't intend to write a stereotype, you're going to have to actively understand what it is, which will help you actively avoid it.

#creatingblackcharacters #writing #ThatsJustTips #stereotypes

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bueckers-sturniolo · 2 months

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the alchemy.

paige x fem!teammate! reader

word count: 2k!

warnings: uhhh, cursing? literally one suggestive-ish comment, if i think of anymore ill come back and lyk!

authors note: HIIII! this is my first time ever writing anything whatsoever, and i can’t tell if i genuinely enjoy or really hate this. you gotta start somewhere though, right? 🤔🤔🤔

go read part two here!

this happens once every few lifetimes; these chemicals hit me like white wine…

you and paige were inseparable. it didn’t go unnoticed by fans, not by any means. you were a year younger than paige, you started playing for uconn her sophomore year. as soon as this was announced, paige followed you on everything, immediately commenting on any post the uconn instagram page made about you, commenting something along the lines of just saying your name in all caps with a bunch of emojis, or even, when she was feeling bold, “Theres our girl! 🤩🙌 (or, ‘my girl’ if she was feeling silly that day),” and even on your own, individual posts about yourself, she’d like and comment some form of encouragement or a subtle compliment just to hype you up, as she does the rest of the team.

she couldn’t deny her nearly unbearable attraction toward the minute she first had laid eyes on you. even if it was over a tiny screen. the first time she saw you was when geno had shown the team videos of you playing and explained to them who you are, where you’re from, what position you play, and all other things they should know. you were around 5’10, and you were a point guard. you had gotten a scholarship to uconn, and obviously, you took it up. the first time paige physically saw you play, she knew you two would become close. not only working together on the court, during games and practices, but also, off of the court.

and you guys did. by the time the season started, you were sure you guys were unstoppable. every practice, you guys were fully locked in, becoming an outstanding duo together. that is, until, she got a tibial plateau fracture. she sat out a whopping 19 games after her surgery, and it was sad to see. she was such a powerful player, and now one of your best friends. games and practices didn’t feel nearly as good without her, but she made you promise that you’d work everyday to improve your already very strong talent, to play for ‘the both of you,’ as she said. she’d come to practices, games, and even just to your personal training sessions to provide some form of support.

what if I told you I’m back? the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map; I havent come around in so long, but im coming back so strong.

as soon as paige was cleared by doctors to begin playing again, she worked several hours, every single day. she came back as a fucking beast. since the day she got cleared and started working her ass off, she earned the nickname ‘sniper’ from you. your nickname for her was ‘killer,’ which, is kinda where she got the idea for sniper. you both were very powerful point guards. every day since she came back, you were amazed by just how hard she was working to get back up to her already impressive level of skill. and as time went on, she got even better than before. from the wise words of your guys’ coach, geno, she literally ‘came back better than she was when she was named player of the year.’

so when I touch down, call the amateurs and cut ‘em from the team, ditch the clowns, get the crown. baby, im the one to beat. cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me. honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

one night, after a practice, you guys are sitting on your couch, scrolling on your phones in the living room of your apartment. she was over there often. you didn’t live in a dorm, but she did, so this is where you typically hung out. you didn’t get a dorm, for mainly one reason, living on campus is expensive. you personally thought that if you were gonna pay so much to live somewhere, might as well be somewhere bigger than the dorms at uconn. your parents somehow agreed, and helped you through paying for it your first few years. you’re now a junior, and paige is a senior. though, she was technically going into her junior year of playing basketball, but it was her last year as a uconn ‘student.’ over the past several months, it’s been…. flirty, to say the least. you’ve always been not ‘just friends,’ but, you never talked about it. it was just ‘normal’ to you guys. you had talked about to kk once, and the conversation didn’t really help. at all. not in the fucking slightest.

“well, i mean… yeah, we all notice it. she just…. acts so different around you…? it’s not a bad difference, per se… it’s just like, why the fuck is she so nice to you? she’s constantly like… on her knees praising you. it’s crazy, lowkey. but none of us wanna say that, so we kinda just have accepted it all season.” kk says, finally looking up from her phone at me, sitting on the edge of her bed, giving her a ‘please help me’ look.

i stare at her for a few seconds, then sigh. is it actually different? does she really do that, or is kk just exaggerating, like she always does?

“kk, i don’t- i don’t know, dude. i don’t notice it. it’s just- like-“ kk interrupts me, knowing i couldn’t find the words to explain what i was feeling, “normal to you?”

i nod, putting my face in my hands and letting out another sigh. “yeah, i get that. but, also… like, how do you not notice it? it’s like- remember that guy she said she had a crush on, like- 7 months ago or some shit?” she said, sighing.

“yeah, why?” i say, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion on where the fuck she could possibly be going with this.

“she literally flirted with you more than she flirted with him. then, she rejected him, and said there was ‘no reason behind it….’ is that not suspiscious to you? in that one picture of you guys and the weird ass dude she apparently liked, she’s leaning closer to you than she is him? does that not even slightly spark a tad bit of suspiscion?” kk says, getting frustrated that im not seeing her point here.

“i mean- no? i didn’t even notice it, kk.” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “exactly my point,” kk says, sitting up to really try to get her point across. “she acts like she’s in love with you, and heaven forbid you notice it even slightly. i could name so many things that just, like- we have all noticed, and paige knows we’ve noticed. like, that time that one bitch was pushing you on the court the entire game, and paige eventually got pissed off and pushed her back off of you, then got a fucking technical foul over it…? or, how about when she gets drunk, she literally is all over you. like, hugging you, holding you, falling asleep on the couch with you literally on top of her? is that not somehow making you just use that little brain in your head?” kk says, and i just stare in thought. maybe she was right. maybe it is more than a close friendship.

you snap out of your thoughts as paige says your name, looking over at her. “yeah?” you say, trying to seem cool.

“are you okay? you just spaced out for like…. 10 minutes…” paige says, turning her phone off sitting her it down on her chest. “oh, yeah,” I say, chuckling. that’s fucking embarrassing, you thought. but why wouldn’t she notice it? she notices everything about you.

“y’know… you did really good today,” paige says smiling at you. you smile too, looking down at your hands, “thanks. you literally always do good, so. no point in boosting your ego any more than it already is.” you say, looking back up to meet her gaze.

“i call you killer for a reason, you know that, right? you’re fucking phenomenal.” and she meant it. you were a goddess, in her eyes. if there was any person closest to heaven on this earth. it’s you. everything about you. she couldn’t get enough of you, and if it was up to her, she’d show you just how perfect you are to her. you smile, shaking your head in disbelief. “you’re insane.”

“im literally complimenting you, idiot- how does this make me insane,” paige says, laughing. you shrug, shaking your head. “you know, you’re my bestfriend, right? like, the best, best-friend i’ve ever had? ” paige says, after a few seconds of silence. you look back up, your gaze softening, your big grin also softening into a sweet smile. kk was right, you thought. you knew what that was. you knew what she meant. she is in love.

hey, you. what if I told you we’re cool? that child’s play back in school is forgiven under my rule. i havent come around in so long, but I’m making a come-back to where I belong.

you sit in your room in silence, staring at the ceiling. you keep replaying things in your mind, things she’s said. things she’s done. you knew you liked girls, you knew you liked paige. but, at what cost? did your whole friendship form from the attraction you guys had from the start? was this random to her? were you guys ever going to talk about it? this whole situation is ridiculous. right now, paige is visiting her family in minnesota. you’ve met them before, and you loved her little brother, drew, like your own brother. he was precious to you. but, this time you didn’t go, you had to stay back and practice. which, sounds ridiculous to paige given that you’re already the best player in the world to her. but, you knew you’d been slacking on practicing and certain skills you were supposed to be good at. you didn’t want to let her down. or the team, of course. but, paige specifically.

these bloakes warm the benches, we’ve been on a winning streak. (s)he jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an ‘e.’

today, you guys had a game. you were always pretty hard on yourself, but, today was worse. paige noticed this, quickly. as she always does. right before halftime, you shoot a three. you make it, but, it still was kinda sloppy. not all of your shots were sloppy, of course. but, today you felt like shit and were on your period. you didn’t feel great, and you were pissed off that the girl guarding you was on your ass all damn game. the girl in question was no other than kate martin, who was always on your ass specifically, when you guys played iowa. it was infuriating, and not to mention that you kept getting fouls called on you by a ref who clearly doesn’t realize that kate won’t stay off of your case. as soon as half-time hits, you walk over to the bench, muttering a ‘holy fucking shit’ under your breath. you sit down, paige immediately following after you, sitting beside you.

“hey, killer…. it’s okay, i promise. you’re doing so, so good.” paige says, leaning closer to you trying to reassure you in a soft, gentle tone.

“doesnt feel like it.” you say, grumpily, grabbing your water and taking a drink of it. “i know, but hey,” she says, smiling. “you’re fuckin’ killing it. if it makes you feel any better, you scored and knocked her down because of how close she was to you, maybe she’ll back off. but…” she says, pausing. “do not get a tech because of her.” you look over at her, slowly nodding. “yeah, im trying. but, the next time she gets in my face, i’m knocking her to the fucking ground again.” you say, quietly. paige smiles, “no being too aggressive… i mean, yes, be aggressive. but, no techs.”

“yeah, yeah. okay, idiot face. i’ll try.” you say and paige smiles wider, shaking her head.

as the game continues, we’re up by a solid two points. youre now in the last 45 seconds of the game. iowa has the ball, clark scores a 3 on paige. of fucking course, you think.

kk gets the rebound, and we get the ball, finally. with now only 30 seconds left, you’re panicking. you’re losing by one damn point. geno calls a time out out to the ref, the ref granting him this and you all huddle over. paige leans over to you, mumbling a, “you’ve got this, killer. im leaving this up to you. you won’t let me down.” you smile, nodding. she smiles at you for a few seconds. she is so whipped, and it’s obvious. you’re addicting. you’re like heroin, but with a fucking ‘e,’ paige thinks.

shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads. beer sticking to the floor, cheers chanted, cause they said, “there was no chance, tryna be the greatest in the league.” where’s the trophy? (s)he just comes runnin’ over to me.

as the game resumes, the ball is passed to paige. 15 seconds. the time is ticking, so, so fast. paige does a pump fake, immediately passing the ball to you. you catch it, turning slightly so you can dribble around martin, who’s still on your ass. you nearly lose the ball. you’re wasting too much time time, you think. you glance up at the clock. 5 seconds. you try to think fast, then quickly preform a fake pass to paige, then as soon as kate turns her attention toward paige, you shoot directly behind the point the three-point line, and you make it. the buzzer sounds. you look over at the score counters, wondering if it’s able to be counted. they announce it is, and you feel like you’ve never been happier than in that damn moment. your entire team is screaming, all of the fans in the bleachers standing up and cheering. you place your hands on your knees, leaning down and panting while smiling. that’s when you see paige, her shirt is lifted up so her stomach is showing, still cheering. smiling ear to ear, she suddenly runs over to you from across the court. she hugs you, picking you up and spinning you around.

this type of shit only happens once every few lifetimes. who are you to deny your love for her any longer? who are you to fight the general chemistry between you two? who are you to fight the alchemy?

a/n: RAHHHHHH I HOPE YOU LOVED IT IM SORRY IF IT SUCKS ASS!!!! IF YOURE READING THIS RN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

#paige bueckers #paige x reader #Spotify

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stylesispunk · 3 months

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'You gave me something to lose'

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: Joel is afraid of losing you.

wc: 4k>

warnings: angst, mentions of panic attacks, fluff. Messy writing cause this is an old draft.

a/n: this was on my drafts for so long so I'm posting this as a gift because I'm going to London for the next two weeks and I won't be very active on here. So once I return, I promise I'll write the pendant things and requests I have. I hope you like this one. Happy reading 💌

dividerers by @/saradika-graphics

Joel didn’t fear anything, not dying nor being alone or even broke.

Not the clickers, not darkness, but you.

when his mission to take Ellie to the fireflies became into caring for the teen, he felt panicked.

And when he learned he had fallen deeply in love with you, you gave him something to lose.

And he was frightened.

Joel had always been a fortress, walls built high and strong to keep out the pain and loss he had endured. But now, those walls were crumbling. Each moment he spent with you, each secret you both had shared, each tender touch, chipped away at the defenses he had so meticulously constructed.

Since the day Joel met you at the QZ in Boston, you had stolen something from him. He didn’t decipher what back then, but every time you weren’t on his sight, a knot formed on his stomach. Every time he caught a glimpse of you, his blood rushed into his cheeks.

And God, every single time you smiled at him, he could find a reason to keep surviving in this world, again.

And that’s why when you had decided to go after him, when he and Tess took Ellie with them to the fireflies. He had made up his mind, between the anger and tinted loved was feeling for you right at that moment, he had decided he was going to protect you more than anything or anyone. Even when you got on his nerves.

The journey to the fireflies was grueling. The roads were treacherous, infested with clickers and hunters. Every step was a battle, every night a gamble. But Joel was relentless. He led the way with a grim determination, always keeping you and Ellie close. The tension was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of the danger that lurked in every shadow.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the desolate landscape, you found a moment of respite. The group set up camp in an abandoned building, its crumbling walls offering a semblance of shelter. Joel, ever vigilant, took the first watch.

You approached him, the flickering firelight casting dancing shadows across his weathered face. He looked up as you neared, his eyes softening slightly. “You should get some rest,” he said, his voice a low rumble.

You shook your head, sitting down beside him. “I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind.”

Joel glanced at you, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, I get that.” There was a pause, a comfortable silence settling between you. “You know,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, “I never thought I’d feel this way again. Not after everything.”

You looked at him, searching his eyes. “What do you mean?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve…” he paused, “Never mind.”

You furrowed your brow, sensing the weight of his unspoken words. “Joel, you can talk to me. Whatever it is, I’m here.”

He looked away, his jaw tightening. “It’s just… it’s hard to explain.” He paused again, just a few seconds, lifting his gaze up to yours “Why did you followed us three?” he asked.

The question caught you off guard, but you didn’t hesitate in your response. “I didn’t follow all of you. I followed you.”

“Why?”

“Because back in the QZ there wasn’t a life after you” you confessed, “Life sucks in there, but without you it would be worse.”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, the vulnerability of your words hitting him harder than he expected. He stared at you, trying to process the depth of your feelings. “I never knew…”

“Of course you didn’t,” you interrupted softly. “You’ve always been so focused on surviving, on protecting Tess and yourself, that you’ve never stopped to see how much you mean to people. How much you mean to me.”

He shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “Good to know it because I feel the same about you.”

Your heart skipped a beat, his admission filling you with warmth. "Joel..."

He took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “When I met you, I didn’t think I could care for anyone again. But you... you changed that.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, but you held them back, not wanting to break the cosmic moment “I’m glad. Because I can’t imagine going through this without you.”

Joel reached out, his hand cupping your cheek, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear that had escaped. “Now can you, please go to sleep?”

“Can I sleep here?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel’s expression softened, and without hesitation, he nodded. “Yeah, you can.”

He shifted, making room for you to lie down beside him. As you settled in, the warmth of his body next to yours was both comforting and grounding. You felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you closer, and you snuggled into his embrace, feeling safe and protected.

“Thank you,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.

“For what?” he asked softly, his breath warm against your hair.

“For letting me in. For trusting me.”

Joel pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “I trust you more than anyone. And I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You smiled, the weight of the world feeling just a little bit lighter in his arms. “We’ll figure it out together. “As the night deepened, the sounds of the wilderness outside seemed distant, the crackling fire casting a gentle glow around you. Joel’s steady heartbeat and the rise and fall of his chest were the lullaby that finally coaxed you into sleep. In his arms, you found a peace you hadn’t known in a long time.

He felt his heart giving up for you.

That had happened a few months ago.

And Joel had become afraid. He found himself lying awake almost every night, staring at the sky and the stars, a storm of thoughts raging in his mind. What if something happened to you? What if he couldn't protect you? The thought of losing you, of seeing the light fade from your eyes, was a nightmare he couldn't bear. It was a fear far greater than anything he had ever faced; greater than the harsh realities of the post-apocalyptic world he had navigated for so long.

During the day, he tried to push these fears aside, trying to focus on the present. But it was impossible. Every smile you gave him reminded him of what he stood to lose. Every time you reached for his hand, his heart ached with the weight of his love for you and the dread of its potential loss.

He watched you with Ellie, how you cared for her, and how you brought joy and laughter into her bleak world. He saw how you made her feel safe and loved, and it only made his feelings for you deepen. Ellie, too, had become a part of this fragile, makeshift family, and his love for both of you intertwined, creating a web of vulnerability he couldn't escape.

The wind howled outside, carrying with it the bitter cold of the frozen winter night. Inside the small, dilapidated cabin, a fire crackled in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the room. You, Joel, and Ellie huddled close to the fire, trying to fend off the chill that seemed to seep through the very walls.

Ellie poked at the fire with a stick, her eyes reflecting the dancing flames. "What do you think it’ll be like, Joel?" she asked, her voice filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty.

Joel looked up from the map he was studying, his eyes softening as he met Ellie’s gaze. "What do you mean?"

"After the cure," she said. "When this is all over. What do you think it’ll be like?"

Joel leaned back against the rough wooden wall, his mind drifting to a time long past. "I reckon things will be...different. Better, maybe. People could rebuild, start over. There might be schools again, towns with shops, places where kids can just be kids."

Ellie smiled at the thought, her imagination running wild with possibilities. "I want to learn to play guitar," she said. "Like you, Joel. You promised to teach me, remember?"

Joel chuckled softly, a rare sound in these harsh times. "Yeah, I remember. We'll find one, and I'll teach you. Maybe we can even have a little concert, you and me."

You watched the exchange, a warm feeling spreading through your chest. "What about you, Joel? What's something you’d want to do?"

Joel hesitated, his eyes flicking to you. "I... I’d like to have a place of our own. Somewhere safe. Maybe a little house with a garden. We could grow our own food, live a quiet life. Just...be together."

You smiled, your heart swelling with affection. "That sounds nice," you said softly. "Really nice."

The conversation drifted into a comfortable silence, each of you lost in thoughts of a hopeful future. You leaned against Joel, the warmth of his body a comforting presence. His arm wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you closer.

Ellie yawned and stretched out on the floor next to the fire. "I think I'm going to get some sleep," she said, her voice already heavy with exhaustion.

"Good idea," Joel replied. "I’ll keep the watch."

Ellie nodded and pulled her blanket tightly around herself, quickly drifting off to sleep. You and Joel stayed by the fire, the quiet crackling of the flames the only sound in the room.

"Do you really think there’s hope for a cure?" you asked quietly, your head resting on his shoulder.

Joel sighed, his fingers gently stroking your arm. "I don't know," he admitted. "But I have to believe there is. For Ellie. For you."

You tilted your head up to look at him, your eyes searching his. "You’ve been through so much, Joel. Yet you still find it in you to hope. That’s incredible."

He shook his head slightly. "It's not hope," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you.”

Joel’s panic attacks had become more frequent as the days passed. Every quiet moment seemed to stretch into an eternity of worry and fear. He could feel the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him, and the constant fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect you or Ellie gnawed at him relentlessly.

When the three of you had finally arrived at Jackson, Joel’s thoughts were a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Jackson was a sanctuary, a place where you could all be safe, but his fears didn’t dissipate. If anything, they grew stronger. The more secure the surroundings, the more he worried about what could go wrong.

Jackson was bustling with life, a stark contrast to the desolate landscapes they had traversed. Children played in the streets, people worked in gardens, and there was a sense of community and hope that was almost overwhelming. Joel watched it all with a heavy heart, his mind racing.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to die, that some unseen danger would take him away from you and Ellie. The thought of leaving you unprotected was unbearable. That’s when the idea started to form: maybe the best way to protect you was to leave you in Jackson, where you’d be safe. Where you could even find someone younger than him to kept you alive.

Joel sought out his brother. He found Tommy in the community hall, finishing up some late-night paperwork. The room was quiet, the only sound the scratch of Tommy’s pen against the paper.

"Tommy," Joel said, his voice low and strained.

Tommy looked up, immediately sensing the urgency in his brother’s tone. "Joel, what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."

Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling. He sat down across from Tommy, his eyes filled with anguish. "I need to talk to you. It’s about Ellie and... and my….my " He couldn’t find the words to describe you. Calling you his lover wasn’t a proper word to use, it felt so weak. There was not nickname that could make justice to what you meant to him.

“Your girlfriend?” Tommy asked.

Joel nodded.

Tommy set his pen down, giving Joel his full attention. "Alright, tell me what’s on your mind."

Joel’s voice cracked as he spoke. "I don’t know how much longer I can do this. The fear... it’s eating me alive. I’m so scared something’s going to happen to them, and I won’t be able to protect them."

Tommy’s expression softened. "Joel, you’re in Jackson now. It’s safe here. We’ve got walls, people who care about each other. You don’t have to do this alone."

Joel shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "You don’t understand. I feel like I’m going to die, like something’s going to take me away from them. And then what? What happens to them if I’m gone?"

Tommy reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Joel’s shoulder. "We’ll take care of them, Joel. You’re not alone in this."

Joel’s tears began to fall, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m asking you to take Ellie with you. Keep her safe. And let my baby stay here in Jackson. She deserves a life that’s not filled with running and fear."

Tommy’s eyes widened in shock. "Joel, are you sure about this? You’re talking about leaving them behind."

"I’m not leaving them," Joel said, his voice trembling. "I’m trying to protect them. They’ll be safer without me."

Tommy sighed, his heart breaking for his brother. "And what about you, Joel? What happens to you if you leave?"

Joel wiped his tears, trying to steady himself. "I’ll find a way to keep going. I just need to know they’re safe. That’s all that matters."

Tommy nodded slowly, understanding the depth of Joel’s fear and love. "Alright, Joel. If this is what you think is best, I’ll take care of them. But you need to talk to them first. They deserve to know why you’re doing this."

Joel nodded, his heart heavy with the weight of his decision. "I will. Thank you, Tommy."

Tommy pulled Joel into a tight embrace; his voice filled with emotion. "We’re family, Joel. We take care of each other."

Joel clung to his brother, the tears flowing freely now. He knew the conversation with you and Ellie would be one of the hardest things he’d ever have to do, but he also knew it was necessary. The fear of losing you both was too great to ignore, and he hoped that, in time, you would understand why he had to make this choice.

Joel walked slowly to Ellie’s room, his heart heavy with the burden of what he was about to do. He knew this conversation would be one of the hardest of his life, but he also believed it was necessary. He took a deep breath and knocked softly on her door.

“Come in,” Ellie’s voice called from inside.

He opened the door and stepped into the room. Ellie was sitting on her bed, reading one of the books she had found in Jackson’s library. She looked up and smiled when she saw him, but her smile faded when she noticed the serious expression on his face.

“Joel, what’s wrong?” she asked, her brows furrowing with concern.

Joel closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at Ellie, her young face full of life and determination, and it made his heart ache.

“Ellie, we need to talk,” he said softly, struggling to find the right words.

Ellie set her book aside and gave him her full attention. “What’s going on?”

Joel took a deep breath, his hands trembling slightly. “Ellie, I’ve been thinking a lot about our journey, about everything we’ve been through. And... about what comes next.”

Ellie shook her head, her voice rising with emotion. “Joel, no. We’re supposed to stick together. We’re a team.”

Joel looked down, unable to meet her eyes. “Ellie, I’m not sure I can keep doing this. The fear... it’s too much. I’m scared something’s going to happen to you, and I won’t be able to protect you.”

Ellie reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “We protect each other, Joel. That’s how we’ve always done it.”

Joel swallowed hard, his voice breaking. “I’m asking Tommy to take you to the fireflies. He’ll keep you safe until you arrive to the hospital.”

Ellie’s eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head fiercely. “No, Joel. I’m not going without you. We’ve come this far together, and I’m not leaving you.”

Joel’s heart ached at her words, but he forced himself to continue. “Ellie, you need to understand. I’m not... I’m not your father. I can’t be the one to keep you safe forever.”

The words hung heavy in the air, and Ellie’s tears began to fall. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father, Joel. Don’t you get that? Fuck”

Joel’s own tears threatened to spill over, but he steeled himself. “But you’re not my daughter and I’m not your father.”

Ellie shook her head, her voice filled with desperation. “No, Joel. Please. Don’t do this. We need you.”

Joel reached out, cupping her face in his hands. “I need you to trust me, Ellie. This is the best way to keep you safe.”

Ellie pulled away from his touch, her face a mix of anger and heartbreak. “I don’t want to be safe if it means losing you. You and her are all I have, Joel.”

Joel stood up, his heart shattering at her words. “I’m sorry, Ellie. But this is how it has to be.”

He turned and walked toward the door, each step feeling like a lead weight. He paused at the doorway, looking back at Ellie one last time.

With that, he walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. He leaned against the wall, his heart breaking at the sound of Ellie’s muffled sobs. He knew this was one of the hardest decisions he had ever made, but he believed it was the right one.

As he stood there, trying to compose himself, he heard footsteps approaching. You appeared at the end of the hallway, having heard the conversation. Your eyes met his, and in that moment, he saw the same mix of anger, hurt, and confusion that Ellie had shown.

You approached Joel slowly, your face a mix of anger and hurt. He could see the questions in your eyes, the need for an explanation that would make sense of the pain he had caused.

"Joel," you said, your voice trembling. "What are you doing?"

Joel looked down, unable to meet your gaze. "I'm trying to keep you both safe. You and Ellie. This place, Jackson... it's where you can have a real life."

Your eyes narrowed, and you took a step closer. "And you think abandoning us is the way to do that? How could you even consider leaving us behind?"

Joel sighed, his shoulders slumping. "It's not abandoning you. It's making sure you're protected. If something happens to me—"

You cut him off, your voice rising with emotion. "Don't you get it, Joel? We need you. Ellie needs you. I need you. You're the reason we've made it this far. You can't just walk away."

Joel's eyes were filled with pain as he looked up at you. "I can't shake the fear that I'm going to die, that I won't be there when you need me most. I thought if I left, you'd be safer."

You stepped even closer, your anger giving way to desperation. "Safer? Joel, we've faced everything together. We protect each other. How can you think we'd be better off without you? How can you think I would be better off without you?""

Joel's voice was barely a whisper. "Because I can't bear the thought of losing you.”

Your heart ached at his words, but you knew you had to make him understand. You reached out, taking his hands in yours. "Joel, I love you. I need you with me, not just for protection, but because you're my love. Leaving me won't keep me safe; it'll break me."

Joel looked at you, tears welling in his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this. The fear is... it's too much."

You squeezed his hands, your voice gentle but firm. "We'll face it together, Joel. Just like we always have. You're not alone in this. Please, don't leave me."

Joel pulled you into a tight embrace, his tears finally spilling over. "I'm so scared," he admitted, his voice choked with emotion.

You held him close, your own tears falling. "I know, Joel. But we're stronger together. I need you. Ellie and I need you"

As you stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the hallway, Joel felt the weight of his fear begin to lift. The love and determination in your voice gave him the strength he needed to keep going. At least for a bit.

After a long moment, Joel pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I was trying to do the right thing.”

You nodded; your heart full of relief. "We'll figure it out, Joel. Together."

Joel took a deep breath, cupping your face in his hands. “I love you so much,” he said, pecking your lips.

Your heart swelled with emotion as you returned his kiss, a soft, reassuring touch. “I love you too, Joel,” you whispered, your voice steady with conviction.

Joel rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as if trying to etch this moment into his memory. “I just don’t want to lose you or Ellie. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to either of you.”

You stroked his cheek, your thumb brushing away a stray tear. “We’re not going anywhere, Joel. We’ve made it through so much already, and we’ll keep making it through. Together.”

He nodded, pulling you into a tighter embrace, the warmth of his body a comforting reminder of his presence. “Together,” he repeated, his voice more confident now.

You pulled back slightly from the embrace, looking up into Joel’s eyes. "Come on," you said softly, taking his hand. "Let’s get cleaned up. It’s been a long day."

He nodded, allowing you to lead him down the hall to the bathroom. The room was small, but it had a functioning shower—one of the many luxuries you had come to appreciate in this place. You turned on the water, adjusting the temperature until it was just right.

Joel stood there, watching you with an exhaustion and adoration. He started to undress, his movements were slow You did the same, your eyes meeting his with every piece of clothing that fell to the floor. There was an unspoken understanding between you. Both of you bared int front of each other, stealing glances of your bodies in display.

Once you were both undressed, you stepped into the shower together. The warm water cascaded over your bodies, washing away the grime and tension of the day. You reached for the soap, lathering it between your hands before gently running them over Joel’s shoulders and back.

He sighed, leaning into your touch. "You don’t have to do this," he murmured.

"I want to," you replied, your voice tender. "Let me take care of you." You said, pressing a kiss on his wet shoulder.

You continued to wash him, your hands moving in soothing, circular motions. The warmth of the water and the intimacy of the moment began to ease the tension in his muscles. When you reached his hair, you took the shampoo and began to work it into a lather, your fingers massaging his scalp.

Joel closed his eyes, a soft groan escaping his lips. "That feels nice," he admitted.

You smiled, continuing to wash his hair with gentle care. "Good. You deserve to relax."

After rinsing the shampoo from his hair, you handed him the soap. "Your turn," you said with a playful smile.

He took the soap, his hands surprisingly gentle as he began to wash your shoulders and back. The feel of his strong, calloused hands against your skin was comforting, a reminder of how much you meant to each other. He took his time, his touch tender and affectionate, showing the love he felt for you.

When he reached your hair, he repeated the process, his fingers working the shampoo through your locks with the same care you had shown him. You closed your eyes, savoring the sensation of his hands in your hair and the warmth of the water cascading over you.

For a while, the two of you stood there, simply enjoying the closeness and the rare moment of peace. The world outside might be filled with danger and uncertainty, but here, in this small bathroom, there was only love.

When you were both clean, you turned off the water and reached for a towel, wrapping it around Joel’s shoulders before taking another for yourself. You helped each other dry off, the intimacy of the moment deepening the existent bond between you.

Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "Thank you," he said softly.

You cupped his face in your hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "We’re in this together, Joel. Always."

He nodded, pulling you into a tight embrace. "Together," he echoed.

As you both stood there in the warmth of the bathroom, wrapped in towels and each other's embrace, the bond between you felt stronger than ever. The fear and uncertainty of the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the love and trust you had for each other.

Joel kissed the top of your head and took your hand, leading you back to the bedroom. The soft glow of the lamp illuminated the bedroom, casting a warm, golden hue over the room. You both moved slowly, savoring the peaceful moment.

You helped Joel into bed, making sure he was comfortable before slipping in beside him. He pulled you close, his arms wrapped protectively around you. The simple act of being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world.

Joel tilted his head slightly, his lips brushing against your forehead as he spoke. "I love you so much," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I can ever put into words."

You looked up at him, your heart swelling at the raw honesty in his eyes. "I love you too, Joel. So much."

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I don't think I've ever felt this way before. I mean, caring this much for someone. Not since Sarah. And it's... it's scary. But it's also the most wonderful thing I’ve ever felt."

Your heart ached for him at the mention of Sarah, but you knew how important it was for Joel to express his feelings. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, your thumb brushing against his stubble. "It's okay to be scared, Joel. But you're not alone in this. We’re in it together."

Joel nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You've given me something I thought I’d lost forever. Hope. A reason to keep fighting. And I want you to know that I’ll do everything I can to protect you, to make sure we have a future together."

You leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to his lips. "We’ll protect each other. And we’ll build that future, one day at a time."

He wrapped his arms around you tighter, holding you close as if trying to memorize the feeling of having you in his arms. "I promise you, I'll never let anything happen to you. You and Ellie mean everything to me."

You snuggled closer, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And you mean everything to us, Joel. We're stronger together."

Joel sighed contentedly, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back. "Thank you for standing by me, for believing in me. I don't know what I’d do without you."

You smiled against his chest, feeling the warmth of his love envelop you. "You'll never have to find out, because I'm not going anywhere."

With that, you both drifted into a peaceful sleep, the worries of the world outside momentarily forgotten. In each other's arms, you found solace and strength, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead together.

Hours later, Joel woke up in the middle of the night, the room shrouded in darkness. He instinctively reached out for you, but his hand found only empty space. Panic surged through him, his heart pounding as he sat up, his eyes scanning the room.

"Baby, where are you?" he muttered, throwing the blankets aside as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He quickly pulled on his pants and a shirt, his movements hurried and frantic. The fear of losing you, so deeply ingrained in his mind, took hold as he rushed out of the bedroom.

He moved swiftly down the hallway, his mind racing with worst-case scenarios. Had something happened? Had someone taken you? The thoughts were unbearable. He reached the top of the stairs and bolted down them, nearly stumbling in his haste.

When he reached the bottom, he paused, his eyes darting around the living room. Relief washed over him as he saw you sitting on the couch, a cup of tea cradled in your hands. You looked up, startled by his sudden appearance.

"Joel, what’s wrong?" you asked, concern etching your features.

He let out a shaky breath, his heart still racing. "I woke up and you weren’t there," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I thought something had happened to you."

You set your tea down on the table and stood up, crossing the room to him. "I’m sorry," you said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. "I couldn’t sleep, so I came down to make some tea. I didn’t mean to scare you."

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you as if to reassure himself that you were really there. "It’s okay," he murmured into your hair. "I just...I can’t bear the thought of losing you."

You held him just as tightly, feeling the intensity of his emotions. "You won’t lose me, Joel. I promise."

He nodded, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. "I know. It’s just...sometimes the fear gets the better of me."

You cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing over his cheeks. "I understand," you said gently. "But we’re safe here. We have each other."

He sighed, the tension slowly easing from his body. "Yeah, we do."

"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to the couch. "Sit with me for a while. The tea is still warm."

He followed you, sitting down beside you on the couch. You picked up your cup and handed it to him. "Here, takes a sip. It’ll help you relax."

He took the cup, his hands still slightly trembling. He sipped the tea, the warmth spreading through him, helping to calm his nerves. "Thanks," he said, his voice steadier.

You leaned against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "We’ll get through this, Joel. Together."

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer. "Yeah, we will."

The two of you sat there in the quiet of the night, the warmth of the tea and the comfort of each other’s presence soothing the fears that had momentarily overwhelmed him. In that moment, Joel felt a renewed sense of peace, knowing that as long as you were by his side, he could face anything the future held.

As the minutes passed, the tension in Joel's body melted away. He looked down at you, your eyes closed, content and calm. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I love you," he whispered, the words carrying all the weight of his heart.

"I love you too," you replied softly, without opening your eyes.

Joel took another sip of the tea, its warmth soothing him from the inside out. The night was still and quiet, a rare tranquility enveloping your home. He gazed around the room, taking in the modest, yet comforting surroundings. This place, this sanctuary in Jackson, could become more than just a shelter. A home.

You snuggled closer to him, and Joel felt a profound sense of gratitude. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to truly believe in the possibility of a future filled with hope and love. The horrors of the past, the constant threats of the present, they all seemed a little more bearable with you by his side.

"We’ve been through so much," he said quietly, his fingers gently stroking your hair. "But sitting here with you, it makes it all worth it."

You opened your eyes and looked up at him, a soft smile playing on your lips. "We’ve found something real, Joel. Something worth fighting for. And no matter what comes our way, we’ll face it together."

Joel nodded, feeling the truth of your words settle deep within him. "Together," he echoed, his voice filled with conviction. "Always."

The two of you sat there in the stillness, the warmth of each other's presence a balm for your souls. Joel felt a sense of peace he hadn't known in years. With you, he had found a reason to hope, to believe in a better tomorrow.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion of the day began to catch up with him. You noticed his eyelids growing heavy and gently took the cup from his hands, setting it on the table. "Come on," you whispered, standing up and offering your hand. "Let’s get some rest."

Joel took your hand and allowed you to lead him back to the bedroom. The room was still bathed in the soft glow of the lamp, casting a warm light over the bed. You both slipped under the covers, and Joel pulled you close, your bodies fitting together perfectly.

With you in his arms, the fear and anxiety that had plagued him earlier faded away. The rhythm of your breathing, the steady beat of your heart against his chest, all served as a reminder of the love and strength you shared.

"Goodnight, Joel," you murmured, your voice filled with tenderness. "Goodnight," he replied, pressing a final kiss to your forehead.

As he closed his eyes, Joel felt a deep sense of contentment. No matter what the future held, he knew that with you by his side, he could face it all. Together, you had built something beautiful amidst the chaos, and that was something worth holding on to.

In the quiet darkness, with you in his arms, Joel finally allowed himself to drift into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the life you would continue to build together, one filled with love, hope, and endless possibilities.

826 notes · View notes

cheeseceli · 3 months

Text

When they have a crush

Pairing: ot7 BTS × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: headcanon, fluff

Request: types of dumb or random things bts members will do while they are crushing on someone and wants their attention?

Warnings: mentions of food at jin's

A/n: I feel like I'm getting better at making the layout of these posts :)

Jin

‌This man ain't even trying to bring out his boyfriend material

‌He's going for the husband material

‌Cooks for you quite a lot

‌Always bringing you some lunch or just a few baked goodies (and never allowing the boys to eat it beforehand)

‌Runs errands with you because he "has nothing better to do" when in reality he's just desperate to be with you for a while

‌He even has "cleaning dates" with you😭

‌I see him to be a huge fan of domesticity ngl

‌So if there's anything he can do to bring out this side in your relationship, even if you're only on the friendship stage yet, you can bet that's what he's gonna do

‌And he 100% expects your friends to make the "you seem like an old married couple" jokes because !!

‌That's precisely his goal!!

‌Once he gets to know your family, he even wants your family to be expecting the day you'll both start to date

‌Jin is just the definition of husband material and he knows it, that's how he tries to make you look at him

Suga

‌Stick to the end and hear me out

‌Jokes

‌I know how that sounds but I promise you it makes sense😭

‌Yoongi is the typa guy to be effortlessly (and questionably) funny

‌Like that one time the staff said "whoever has the ball wins" and he replied with "then we are all winners"

‌However !

‌He keeps on doing those jokes like he'd always do

‌But now he unconsciously looks at your direction

‌Would you laugh? Would you find it weird? Did you even pay attention?

‌If, after developing this crush of him, he notices that you actually laugh at his jokes

‌You can be sure he'll do them a lot

‌But it's so subtle you don't even notice he's doing it to make you laugh/have your attention

‌However, he does pay attention to you quite a lot so he can always be the first one to notice your smile growing

J-hope

‌Endless excuses to see you

‌He will purposely "forget" his things at your place just so he can go back there (and forget some more things)

‌It's an infinite cycle

‌Sometimes he will accidentally leave his sweatshirts with you

‌And then he'll be like "could you give it back to me? We can go to that restaurant I was telling you about and then you can give it to me"

‌But then he will tell you that the night is cold so it's okay if you want to wear his sweatshirt while you're both out

‌And then he also forgets to take it back

‌Wow who would ever imagine this could happen

‌So now you both need to see each other again because he really wants that sweatshirt

‌Bro is still trying to grow the courage to properly ask you out

‌So even if you do catch up on his small antics, please engage on it

‌He just needs a little bit of impulse 😭

Namjoon

‌Whenever he wants your attention, he starts to talk

‌And with that I mean he TALKS

‌Won't shut up for a second

‌And he won't even make sense, bro is talking about the dumbest and more random things you could ever imagine

‌ "I wouldn't want to live in mars, it sounds depressing. Neptune sounds cool though, don't you think?"

‌Like?? How do you want me to answer to that hun😭

‌But it's kinda sweet because he becomes a professional yapper to gain your attention, but once he gets it he let's you do all the talking

‌He didn't really want to talk, he just wanted you to be there with him

‌So you can talk all you want, he will pay attention to every single word with a little smile on his face

Jimin

‌Deadass stares at you

‌Not in a creepy way tho, just in a "please look at me I really want your attention right now"

‌And will keep on staring at you until you give in

‌Heavy on physical touch as well

‌At this stage of your relationship, everything is friendly of course

‌Because he is scared of letting you know he's in love with you💀 even if that's pretty much the whole point

‌However

‌He still craves a lot of your touch

‌Hugs all the time, holds and plays with your hand, the same goes to your hair...

‌Sometimes you can't even go somewhere without him following you like a shadow

‌Trust me, if he wants your attention he will find a way to have it

Taehyung

‌He will ask for it

‌Like, literally

‌I see him as a very straightforward person so he'll just be like "y/n pay attention to me"

‌Multiple times, until you actually do stop whatever you were doing and look at him

‌And his reaction will be like 😄

‌I see him doing this slightly more subtly when he's trying to get your attention from someone else

‌If he feels you're talking to Jin, for example, for a very long while now, he won't hesitate on sitting next to you

‌And kinda throwing himself on top of you

‌lmao scratch what I said, that's not subtle at all

‌But at least he doesn't say what he wants from you out loud ig

Jungkook

‌You think this man is competitive?

‌That's because you haven't seen him trying to impress you

‌Are you watching the dance practice? You can bet that Jungkook is giving 3 times his all

‌Are you watching the recording? Bro becomes Mariah Carey in two seconds

‌The boys' biggest fear is when they are playing basketball or something like that and you're watching it

‌They KNOW they are going to lose

‌It can be a 6×1, nothing is stopping him from impressing you like that

‌But if you're the one playing against him? He's probably gonna win the match no matter what, but he's going to be extremely soft at least!

‌Please do compliment him on how he was, he needs to know it was worth it😭

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when you're rejected by your crush

Thank you for reading <3

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

Dividers by @k1ssyoursister

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skzstannie · 5 months

Text

"They found her"

SKZ -> ot8 x 9th member fem! reader

This is a part 2 to this fic, but it can be read as a stand alone as there's not much reference to the original fic.

genre: hurt/comfort, angst wc: ~3,800 words cw: kidnapping, guns and gunshot wounds, hospitals, some brief cursing

Summary: Since the incident, the guys have been extremely over protective of you. You heed their warnings, but still go out unaccompanied by security on your vacation, only to have to pay the price for your poor decisions.

A/N: Hiiii, ik I've disappeared off the face of the Earth again, but I've brought gifts back with me this time. This one's a bit heavier, but it's the long awaited part 2 to "Did you know?", so I hope you guys enjoy. I hit 500 followers since the last time I posted, so this is kind of a celebratory post as well. Thanks guys!

Masterlist | Happy Scrolling!

The time has come around again when JYP has given you and your members some well-earned personal vacation, and you've chosen to spend that time back at home with your family and friends.

Upon hearing about your vacation, your childhood friends started blowing up your phone, asking about when you'll be in and if you wanted to hangout. Of course, you've missed them just as much and gave them all the details of you're arrival.

The day of said plans has finally arrived, and you couldn't be more excited. You and three of your closest friends have decided to go to this cute breakfast cafe for brunch, run by all your favorite stores for some shopping, and then round your evening out with some bar hopping.

"You have got to see this!" Ha-Yoon, a friend you've known since grade school, explodes from beside you in the passenger seat, fanning herself. "Look at how hot this guy is? Think he'll give me his number if I DM him?"

"Are you being for real?" Dae cringes from the backseat, leaning forward to get a closer look at your friend's new internet crush. "He's kinda ugly."

This elicits a bickering match for the remainder of the drive, with you and your remaining friend, Soon-Bok, rolling your eyes at their silly banter.

You decided that you'd pick them all up from their homes, figuring that you'd get to spend some more time with them that way. You didn't really think about the fact that perhaps more time was synonymous with too much time. Just because you hadn't seen your friends in months, doesn't mean that they didn't see each other literally every single day.

With a clear of your throat, they stop insulting each other's fantasy love interests, both squealing when they realize you've pulled into the parking lot for the cafe.

The four of you get out of the car, you pulling your keys out of your purse to lock the doors. While walking towards the doors of the cafe, you're hit with a strange feeling- like someone's watching you.

Immediately, you whip your head around in search of anyone getting a little too nosey, but you come up with nothing. You keep your guard up though, knowing you can never be too sure.

Since the stage incident a few months back, you've been feeling a little paranoid. Understandably so, especially since the mean and threatening comments never subsided. It's gotten to the point where the staff have begun to send out a few extra security guards each time you leave the JYP building. In fact, JYP gave you all this nice little vacation in hopes it'd help some of the comments die down. To your dismay, they have not.

The guys have been incredibly protective since then, and you're actually grateful for it for once. Their constant questions about your whereabouts and wanting to tag along with you everywhere you go used to annoy you, but you'd never think to complain about it now.

Just this morning, having told them about your exciting plans for the day, they sent a barrage of texts telling you to be careful. Chan practically demanded you take a security guard with you, but for the sake of your friends' comfortability, you declined. Was it stupid? Possibly, but you're only wish for this vacation is to make things seem normal again. Having constant security around is not normal.

You placated Chan by telling him that your family knows of the places you'll be, and your family and the rest of your members all have your location at all times. He was reluctant, almost threatening to fly himself to your home just to go out on your little excursion with you, but he eventually gave way, not without first lecturing you about how important your safety is- like you didn't already know that.

~ ~ ~

"And then he pushed him down the stairs! How crazy!" Dae finishes, your eyes widening at how her story ended. She had just finished telling you all about how her boyfriend got into this big fight with a guy at the bar the other day. Apparently, the random man thought it acceptable to lay his hands on Dae, and her boyfriend did not appreciate that.

"Your boyfriend is so hot," Ha-Yoon comments, her eyes looking dreamily off into the distance.

"Excuse me?" Dae questions, raising a brow at Ha-Yoon's confession.

"I mean-"

"Ok!" you interrupt, pushing your chair back from the table you've all been sat at. The brunch was nice, catching up with your friends was much needed and the food was warm and comforting, but enough is enough, and your friends are starting to get a bit squeamish. "I need to use the restroom quickly, then we can head to the mall? Does that sound ok?"

There's a chorus of yesses, and they shoo you off into the restroom, picking up their phones to distract themselves until you get back.

You make your way to the back of the cafe, noticing how the bathrooms are secluded down a small hallway in the corner of the restaurant. Your eyes glance out the emergency exit door, and you tilt your head in confusion upon seeing a large white van sat outside it. It is not parked in a parking spot; it's just parked directly outside the door.

You quickly do your business, not wanting to keep your friends waiting for too long, and head back out to the front of the cafe. Stepping outside the restroom, a hand is immediately thrown over your mouth, a piece of foul smelling cloth pressed up against your nose. You try to scream, but this only causes you to inhale more of the chemical.

You fight, attempting to throw an elbow behind you to dislodge yourself from the person's vice like grip, but this only leads to your elbow being grabbed at a painful angle. You whimper slightly as the person pries your elbow behind you, and it almost feels as if your arm could snap if you were to move another inch. You become lightheaded, and it's hard to keep your eyes open and your mind alert. Unable to fight any longer, you give in and slump down into the arms which hold you captive.

~ ~ ~

"She's been gone awhile, I'm gonna go-" Soon-Bok is cut off by an alarm inside the cafe going off. All the customers heads perk up at the noise, their attention drifting to the employees.

The waitresses look to one another in confusion before one makes their way over to where you went for the restroom a few minutes before. The cafe is silent as the waitress disappears, looking for where the alarm would be coming from.

It's silent for another minute, before there's an audible gasp. She comes back with your purse in one hand and your cracked phone in the other.

Your three friends quickly get up from their seats, rushing over to the waitress. "Where'd you find this?" Dae asks, her eyes tearing up.

"Just outside the bathroom. I was just able to catch a glimpse of a van speeding off. Do you think someone was taken?" she asks, her eyes widening at the thought.

"I think- I think our friend was kidnapped," Ya-Hoon whispers.

~ ~ ~

"This is why I said she needed a security guard with her! This would have never happened!" Chan snaps at their management in anger, rising up from his seat in the meeting room.

Upon hearing about your kidnapping, the rest of your members were immediately brought back to the JYP building. They were all livid.

"Chan, I understand you're upset, but there's really nothing we can do now but wait-"

"Wait for what? Huh? Wait for her to just magically appear here?" Minho cuts off the head of security, his face red with anger.

"Of course the police are on the case and doing everything they can to find her. As for the eight of you, you are not to leave this building until we get all of this under control. Do you hear me? We do not need more than one missing member." JYP is stern as he speaks, leaving no room for discussion. "This meeting is dismissed. We will update you all if we hear anything."

With that, everyone else clears out of the room, leaving your eight members.

"This is awful," Felix says, his head hanging in his hands.

"No shit, Felix, why not state more of the obvious," Jisung narrows his eyes at Felix.

"We can't turn on each other," Changbin butts in, deterring them from getting into it any further. "We have to stick together and just wait this out. She's strong; she'll be ok."

"But what if she's not," Hyunjin speaks up for the first time since they got back. He's been huddled up against Jeongin since they got there, his head hung low. It's obvious he's been crying with the way his cheeks are stained with tears, his eyes red from how often he's rubbed them.

"We can't think like that," Chan says, moving over to Hyunjin. He lays a comforting arm around his shoulders, and Hyunjin immediately moves to the comfort of the leader, turning his head to hide it in Chan's chest. "They saw the van leave, it couldn't have been too long before the police were there. They'll find her, and then she'll be right back here with us."

"To never be let out of our sights again," Seungmin grumbles from the couch, wearing a similar expression to that of Felix's.

"Correct," Minho agrees, leaning back in his chair.

~ ~ ~

"Seungmin, you have to sleep. Staying up for 72 hours straight is not going to make her come back any faster," Chan lays his hand on the back of the boy's neck, slightly rocking him side to side.

"Maybe not, but I'll be the first to know when they find her," he counters, his bloodhsot eyes meeting Chan's. "You're one to talk; you haven't slept either."

Chan just sighs in response, plopping down on the couch next to him. It's quiet between the two of them, but neither are complaining about it. The peace is nice after what they've been through the past few days.

"Hyunjin hasn't stopped crying. Jeongin and Felix have had to take turns laying with him," Seungmin breaks the quiet, his soft voice travelling throughout the practice room. "Han hasn't eaten since we found out."

"I know, I've been trying to get everyone up and moving, but no one's interested."

"Chan, we're not expecting you to be the hero. We know you're in pain, too, and it's ok to act like it," it takes Chan a minute to process what Seungmin had said, but as his brain takes time, he realizes that it's been so long since he's cried, so long since he's truly let his emotions out.

With another moment passing, Chan's breath quickens and tears spring into his eyes. Without another thought, he turns his head into Seungmin's shoulder and cries. He cries for you, and how scared you must be right now, and he cries for the rest of his members, knowing how bad this is hurting them. He cries because he can't take away their pain or yours, not this time.

~ ~ ~

"Wake up." You feel a cold splash of water hit your face, and you're abruptly brought to consciousness. Your eyes open quickly in response to the cold, but you squint once you're hit with the blinding light coming from the ceiling light above you.

You try to talk, to say anything, but you quickly become aware of the duct tape placed snuggly over your mouth.

You gain some more proprioception, feeling the tightness of the rope around your wrists and how your ankles are tied to the legs of the chair you're currently sat on.

"Hey!" Your attention is brought to the large man standing in front of you, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the gun in his hand. "Eyes here. And quit squirming so much!"

You freeze at that, stilling your movements. "Now listen here," you hear another guy say from across the room. You are just noticing him for the first time, and you realize that this guy in front of you must be the brawn of the operation. "We need some money. A lot of money. So, if you want to make it out of here alive, you need to call your family and have them bring us 350 million won. No less. Think you can handle that princess?"

Tears well in your eyes at the mention of death. You can't die like this, at the hands of these awful people. But you also know you don't want to get your family involved. So, deciding this is your best bet, you sit stoically. You look straight ahead, your focus unwavering.

"The silent treatment, huh?" You can see out of your periphery the man at the desk across the room stand from his chair. He makes his way towards you, but you pay him no mind, keeping your blank stare on the wall in front of you.

"If the threat's not enough to get you to talk, maybe this will be." He's quick to take the gun from the other man's hand, and before you can even flinch he's pointed it at your lower leg and let off a shot.

You choke on your own spit when the pain registers. You close your eyes and strain your body not to react, but there's only so much you can do. The tears you were successfully keeping at bay before now slide freely down your cheeks. Your hands are in tight fists behind your back, and you feel you may pass out from the white-hot pain radiating from your calf.

Your consciousness teeters, and all words being spoken by the men sound gibberish in your state. Just as you feel you may fall completely unconscious, you're startled by a loud bang from behind you. Your eyes lazily drift to the men, and you see their gazes widen before they quickly raise their hands in surrender. You make eye contact with the one that shot you, and that's the last thing you see before your eyes shut, your body and mind going completely numb.

~ ~ ~

The practice room door is flung open, bringing Chan out of his sleepy state. "What the hell? Be a little quieter would you," he mumbles, rolling his eyes at Jisung who stands in the doorway. For the first time since the news, Chan is attempting to get some sleep. It wasn't exactly on his own accord, though. After the constant hounding from the rest of the members, and even a threat from Felix that he'd sneak melatonin into his water, he decided it would probably be best for him to try and get some shut eye; he'll be of no use to anyone if he's delirious with sleep.

"They found her."

At this, all of Chan's previous drowsiness vanishes. He sits up from the couch faster than he ever has before, his joints cracking with such a sudden movement. "What?" he asks for clarification, fearing it might be too good to be true.

"They've found her. She's on the way to the hospital right now," Jisung's contagious smile makes more sense now, Chan wearing a similar expression.

"Where are the rest of the boys?" Chan stands from the couch in a rush, quickly slipping his shoes on.

"They're in the meeting room. They just bought our flight there, we're leaving now."

~ ~ ~

"Thank you," you tell the nurse, taking the small cup of water from her hands. It's been a few hours since you woke up from your unconscious state. Upon arriving at the hospital, they immediately took you into surgery to remove the bullet from your leg. Thankfully, it missed all the important stuff, leaving your bones completely in tact. You're left with some muscle damage, but the doctor assured you with some physical therapy you'd be back to normal again.

You're now laying in bed recovering. The wound has been stapled and is wrapped tightly. You have your leg resting on a couple pillows, hopefully to help prevent the swelling. Beside you on the couch is your family, having come in immediately upon hearing the news. Some silly K-Drama is playing on the T.V, but it's enough to keep your mind occupied for now, so you're thankful for it.

Nobody confirmed it for you, but you were sure your members were well on their way. Your family told you that you had been kidnapped for a few days. You told them you only remember being awake for a few minutes, but apparently they kept knocking you out again and again.

After talking with the police, you find that they were using you for ransom, and they kept knocking you out because they didn't have everything squared away yet; whatever that means, you're not quite sure.

As if on cue, the door to your room swings open, revealing Chan and Minho. They're out of breath and sweaty, looking as if they had just run a marathon.

You're given no time for formal greetings as they both launch themselves at you, throwing their arms haphazardly around you until you feel like you're squished beneath them. Your mom makes a protesting sound, but you wave her off with a gesture of your hand. They missed you, and you missed them. They weren't hurting you or anyone else by hugging you.

"You're never leaving our sights again," Chan says, his cheek pressed against the top of your head.

"Never ever," Minho agrees, his torso laid lightly across your lap.

"I'm okay-" you start, only to be cut off by an angry looking Chan. His face pops into view at your words, eyebrows furrowed.

"You are indeed not okay! You were kidnapped, unconscious for hours on end, and then shot! How are you possibly trying to convince us that you're ok?" Minho stands up at his outburst, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm alive, and that's okay enough for me."

With your response bludgeoned into their minds, they both collapse on top of you in another hug.

You bask in their warmth a bit longer, only being interrupted with the door creaking open. Felix and Hyunjin stand there, teary and red-eyed.

"Your time's up," Hyunjin sniffles, moving out of the way of the door so the two can exit.

"We'll be back," Chan leans down to kiss your forehead while Minho grabs your hand, giving it an assuring squeeze.

They leave, and Felix and Hyunjin scurry in after them. They crowd around your bedframe, hesitant to even lay a hand on you.

"Hey," you whisper, reaching over to grab both of their hands, "I'm okay."

Hyunjin breaks down in sobs, and it only takes Felix a minute before he's right there with him. You let go of their hands and open your arms to welcome them in for a hug. Both of them hesitate again, but eventually bend down to give you the gentlest hug you've ever received.

"Does it hurt?" Felix mumbles, his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulders.

"They've got me on some serious meds, so no. It probably will when I come off of them, though. I haven't tried to walk-"

"And you wont either. Not for a long while," your mom cuts in from the couch.

"Thanks for your input, Mom."

"No problem," her gaze shifts to the boys, "She's been moody since she came out of surgery. They say it's because of the meds." They both let out a huffy laugh at that, and while you're absolutely dying to argue, you're just thankful to see Hyunjin and Felix smile.

There's another knock at the door, and all your heads snap to Changbin and Jisung. "Our turn," Jisung says, gesturing for Felix and Hyunjin to get out.

"We'll see you soon," Felix says before making his way to the door.

"Love you," Hyunjin says, hugging you for a second longer.

"Love you, too," you tell him, and you watch as he gets up and walks toward the door.

Once they're gone, Jisung and Changbin come into the room.

"Chan is never letting you out of his sight again; you know that, right?" Changbin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.

"Uh, not just Chan, all of us," Jisung argues. "You know how when girls go out they all have to, like, go to the bathroom together? That's about to be us bestie."

"Um, ew," you grimace just thinking about all your privacy being stripped from you.

"We'll wait outside, of course," Changbin says, trying to make you feel better.

"Oh, how thoughtful," you sass back, giving them a sarcastic smile.

"But for real though, are you ok?" The atmosphere turns serious at Jisung's inquisition. "We were all worried sick about you."

"I guess I could be better, but I'm gonna be just fine. Doc said some physical therapy and I'll be good as new."

"Did you know they didn't even realize you were an idol at first?" Changbin says, piquing your interest. "They said they thought they just picked up some random person at the cafe. Apparently that's why they kept you knocked out for so long; it made things more complicated."

"I did not know that, actually. The police only gave me a quick run down, said they'd be back later for some more questioning and to give us some more information."

Another knock is heard at the door, and you look to see Seungmin and I.N standing there, the last of your boys. "Our turn now, move along," Seungmin says, tapping his foot impatiently.

"That's our cue, we'll see you later." They both lean down to give you a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.

Seungmin and I.N come in, seeming even more urgent than Chan and Minho did earlier.

They both come crashing down on top of you, all concern for the wires attached to you out the window.

Wanting to tease them, you say, "What if I was, like, seriously hurt? And now you two just came running in here like a pack of wild animals?"

"Give me a break, everybody said you were fine and that you were accepting hugs," Seungmin throws back, giving you a firm poke in the side.

You bark out a laugh at that, a smile gracing your features. "They also said that you hadn't smiled yet. So there," Seungmin nuzzles his head back into your shoulder, and you feel him breath a sigh against your neck.

"We missed you," I.N says from the other side where he's latched onto your arm.

"I missed you guys more."

"Not possible, I'd never seen any of the guys so worked up before. Chan didn't sleep the whole time you were gone, and as soon as we convinced him to, they found you," Seungmin says.

"Well, I'm here now," you comfort them, rubbing a hand on each of their backs.

"And we're never letting you go again."

~ ~ ~

Part 1

515 notes · View notes

foulphantomllama · 4 months

Text

My Secret Desire | AESPA Winter x Male Reader

I decided to post the new chapter today because I was supposed to post something else today. But as you can guess, I did not liked it enough to post it. So enjoy the new chapter!

4. The Package

She send me a pair of her underwear. With a little note on them saying “Make good use of them until i come back and get them.” And she drew a little emoji winking at the end.

But she wasn’t coming over. Neither to school nor my house. She was barely texting me. And when she does, she only makes me horny and disappear completely. I asked about her to one of her friends but they were in it too. I all got for a response was to wait. So I waited. After nearly a week and a half later, my door was knocking. It was her. I looked at the peekhole. I opened the door. She went straight in. Saying nothing. She took off her shoes and jumped to my bed. Getting ready to take a nap. I closed the door and started watching her. After a moment of silence I wanted to check on her. She was sleeping. She literally was gone for nearly two weeks and now she is back sleeping in my room.

But no. This was my time to act. I couldn’t just let her win every time. I sit beside her and woke her up. “What?” she asked me. Her attitude was making me angry. This attitude of her was the main reason I hate her as much as I love her. “What do you mean “What?”!” “You come into my house, crying. You’re not saying a single word. We fuck, you disappear for nearly two weeks. Than you sending me your panties. And after a few days later you appear on my doorstep and pretending none of this happened?” She looked at me. Holding her laugh. “Yes.” She said. Then burst into laughing.

I hold her arms. I mean, I hold them pretty tight. Her laugh was disappearing quickly. She realized that I’m really angry now. But she was not holding back either. “Come on big boy, what do you have in mind?”

I knew her intention. She wants sex again. But no. She needs to know that she does not always get what she wants from me. We fuck when I want to fuck. She grabbed my cock. But my cock was not hard this time. Because I was furious. “Come on, stop resisting. I know you want me.” She was thigtening her grab as she talks to me. I pushed her to the bed. “Okay, now we’re talking.” She said. But the following event was not someting that she would expect. I dressed up, took the keys and locked her inside my apartment. She has no other option to wait for me. My apartment was pretty high up so she couldn’t use the balcony to run away. But also, I had zero worries that she wants to escape. I was confident that she will wait for me. No matter how long I took to come back to my apartment.

I grabbed some ramen from my favourite store. It was just around the corner of my apartment. Then I rented a film from one of the stores that is not far from my apartment. Then I go to my apartment. Opened the door. There she was. Sitting on the toilet without closing the toilets door. “You should at least close the door.” I said to her. She rolled her eyes and answered. “You should be grateful that I did not pissed on to your carpet. You dick.” She was acting just like I imagined she would. “I am hungry. You did get something to eat, right?” I showed her the ramen I bought. “You’re the best boyfriend in the world.” Then she added. “Probably.” I asked her while I put the ramens on the kitchen counter. “What do you mean boyfriend?” She got up and came towards me. “Duh, dude you fucked me and cum into my throat. And I fucking swallowed it. What do you think we are? Study buddies?”

“So, you loved me from the beggining.” I asked. “Both.” She answered. “I fucking love you so much and I hate you so fucking much.” She also said. I can take that. “I love you because you’re the most precious person ever. I hate you because you’re too precious to be real. That you will gone to your own country an forgot about me.”

Her words hurt me a lot. But not in a bad way. I was hurt because I did not see it before. She was never bullying me. She just wanted my attention. Because she was thinking that I will leave her because she was not clever enough. What a bad way to think about yourself. And this was the exact reason I hated her to my guts. She was so hard to get along with. She was meaning the world to me. Yet, whenever I tried to show her this, she accused me by being delusional. Saying she is not enough for me or so. I may be too harsh to say I hated her just for this, trust me this kind of toxicity can kill. But my love for her was always getting the spotlight. It was the same for her too.

“I am so sorry If I ever hurt you with my words. I was never a bully. I just wanted your attention. And you weren’t giving me.” She hit me with your little fist as she talks. I hugged her. “No, I won’t be going anywhere. Not now at least.” She showed me her middle finger. And then she realized the film I rented. She took the dvd and started inspecting it. “I heard that this one is so shit.” She said. “It is pure shit.” I answered. Her response was hilarious, and expected. “Then why the fuck you rented this?” It turns out that this was just the way she communicates. Not exactly helping her with the social life but, kind of makes her hot and cute. Or I was just obsessed with her.

I prepared the ramen and we started eating. “Put the film on.” She said. I put the film on. In under ten minutes our meals were finished. She paused the film and said “Okay let’s agree on something.” I said go on. “If i get bored in the next ten minutes, we fuck. If I don’t we don’t fuck.” I was confused a little. “Why do I get punished for choosing I film that you probably like?” I asked. “Haha. That is how I work, honey.”

She watched that entire film. I can realize that she wasn’t really liked it. But she did it because she wanted to annoy me. But I wanted her. So I started to kiss her neck. “No hickeys.” She said. “My mother will fucking kill me.” Of course I was going to give her a hickey. “If you’re going to give me a hickey just do it on a place my mother wouldn’t be able to see.” She said. I took of her tshirt. I left a hickey on her left shoulder. “Your mother wouldn’t see that, I think.” I said. She mimics me. Then laughs. “You ruined the ending.” She said. “Come on! It was already shit how I could possibly ruined the ending.” I answered. She nodded.

“I’m just going to give you a blowjob, and get the hell out of here. I’m already late. I was gone to buy some rice. My mother still waiting me to bring rice.” She said. “I have an unopened package of rice. You can take it on your way out.” She gave me a thumbs up. Then took off my pyjamas. She was on her knees. She licked my cock over my underwear. Then she took of my underwear. Took my cock inside her mouth. Her mouth was so warm. And I already knew that she is very skilled when it comes to sucking cock. But she was too shy to make eye contact. I did not pushed her to her limits just yet. I just let her give me head peacefully, in her own terms. “Are you going to swallow it again?” I asked. She took it off from her mouth to answer me. “Well, i want to but you bought me a gigantic ramen. I don’t want to throw up the first meal you bought me.” She started sucking it again. I asked her to look into my eyes. She started to look up. She was looking so good with my cock in her mouth. I mean, she was probably the cutest girl I’ve ever seen. And she was my girlfriend.

“I’m going to swallow it.” She said. “Do not pull it out when you’re about to cum.” I pulled my cock out. “What makes you change your mind.” I asked her. “You forgot to buy me beverage. Can I please finish it and go???” “Okay, okay sorry.” I answered. “All yours.” She got faster and faster. Then I came into her mouth. First she showed me her mouth full of my cum. Then she swallowed it and showed me her empty mouth. I pull her closer to me and kissed her lips. “You just kissed your own cum.” She laughed. “But off your mouth.” I answered. “But it makes you gay.” She answered. I looked at her face laughing. “Okay, I’m going. Give me the rice.” I give her the rice I bought the other day. “Hey, mom! I just blowed my boyfriend and he give me a packet of rice.” She was laughing out loud while saying that. “At least you keep the money.” I said. “You’re so very right sir. Goodbye.” She saluted me and went out the door. I followed her. “No kiss goodbye?” She came closer, I was taller than her. She signalizes me to bow down. I did. She put her middle finger into my mouth. “Here’s your kiss.”

God I love her.

#aespa winter #winter #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #winter x male reader #winter x reader #chapter4

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eyelessfaces · 4 months

Text

I don't love you like I did yesterday

poe dameron x reader

summary: it’s not because he, poe dameron, gives you more attention and affection than your own boyfriend ever will that you are in love with him — loosely inspired by this post.

warnings: angst, complicated relationships, love triangle?, mentions of marriage, break up, refusing a proposal, internal conflict, doubting your relationship, emotional infidelity? if that's a thing, alcohol consumption. reader wears a dress at some point

tags: f!reader, I don't wanna spoil too much and don't read this if you don't want to be but; mutual pining, love confessions, he fell first AND harder, fluff and,, more

word count: 5.6k

yes. mcr lyrics as a title. in 2024. I know. but don't look at me the lyrics strangely fit so,,

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

You don’t love him; you are almost sure of that.

It’s not because you laugh at every single one of his stupid, lame jokes made just for you to laugh and because you blush everytime you catch him staring at you from across the room that you love him.

It’s not because he, Poe Dameron, gives you more attention and affection than your own boyfriend ever will that you are in love with him.

It’s not because your boyfriend blames you for being too close to him that you are.

It’s not because you wish it would have been Poe down on one knee proposing to you that it is the reason you told Kass you’re not ready for this yet.

And it’s not because you question your situation every single night that it means you have to change anything about it. You should be happy with Kass. You are.

Yet, you wish you were certain of all of that.

It has been two days already, and the guilt keeps eating away at you, like a bacteria gnawing at your feelings, particularly starving for the reasonable part of you that knows you said no for your own well being.

Kass makes it worse; the dark glances thrown at you whenever you bump into each other during the day and his lame excuses to ditch you whenever you want to talk to him make you feel like a monster, and though you know that it is exactly the way he wants you to feel, you can’t help it.

The situation is hard to swallow and bury deep in the back of your mind when you’re out on missions, and though you rarely ever get distracted because you know how important attention and concentration is in your job, the whirlwind of thoughts has been floating over the surface, and your focus has been off, you know it. And you’re not the only one who knows it.

Your head turns when you feel a light nudge at your arm, having dismissed Poe’s presence in your peripheral vision due to your distraction. His eyebrows raise when you look at him, and he gazes at you like the mist of your thoughts is still present over your face and he wants to shake you awake.

“You alright?” he asks before you look back at your squadron wrapping the mission equipment, setting it back in the ships.

“Yeah,” you breathe out, burying your hands in your pockets. You should feel alright. The mission went well despite your clear lack of attention, and you’ve given your life to the Resistance at this point, so you should be thankful that you succeed in most things you do in its name, right now even, considering the situation.

Poe looks down on the floor, kicking away a small rock there that dribbles down the hill. “You've always been an awful liar” he mutters under his breath, not buying it.

“Right” you scoff, your head dropping to shake it. He looks back up at you and you can feel his insistent gaze upon you, which eventually makes you break. “I don’t wanna bother you with my stupid problems”

He snorts, “Come on, you know I’m always here to listen to your stupid problems” he says playfully, nudging your arm with his elbow again. “That are often not that stupid actually” he adds.

There’s a silence settling between the both of you, and right before Poe aborts and figures you don’t wanna talk about it, you sigh. “Kass proposed.”

“Oh” the sound slips from his mouth, and accurately represents his surprise, his voice dropping a bit from the shock. He doesn’t know what to say, not really. This situation would have been on the list of things he would have never expected or even considered to happen.

This eventuality had never, ever occurred to him somehow, not yet, and now, all at once, the fear creeps in and becomes real; he is going to have to watch you get married, going to have to sit there amongst guests, he’s going to have to watch you be happy with someone else than him.

But he wants you to be happy, with or without him, so he will watch. It isn’t like he has the choice, anyways.

He lightly clears his throat, trying to dismiss the tight knot starting to form there, and smiles. The worst thing about it is the fact that it is genuine, he is truly happy for you. You deserve this.

Maybe Kass doesn’t, though. He doesn't deserve you. You’re too good for a half assed mechanic like him that, from a professional point of view, fucks up too often to still be there; but from what Poe hears around, it tends to be the same on other levels than just the professional one.

“Well, that’s great! Congrats,” his half cheerful voice wavers a little, but you don’t seem to notice as your lips form a polite smile that slightly turns perplexed, uncomfortable. “What’s wrong about that” he asks now, concerned when he sees your frown.

Your teeth graze your bottom lip. “I said no.”

“Oh” he watches as you raise your eyebrows, nodding. “I’m sorry” he adds. “I mean–”

“Yeah” you exhale.

“Why?”

That is the real question. Why? Why wouldn’t you want to marry your boyfriend you are supposed to be in love with? Why did you feel so awful at the feeling of his hand over yours when he shot the question?

“I don’t–” you start, thoughts running around your head. You’re not really sure about what you want to say, you’re not even precisely sure why you said no. There were so many reasons, but you couldn’t pick the exact one. “I think I’m not ready.”

Poe doesn't say anything. You stay there upon the small hill you watch your respective teams from. They’re almost done putting everything back.

You think you want to cry. You’re not really sure why. You think you want to dig a hole in that hill and stay hidden there for the rest of time.

“Poe, I don't think I wanna spend the rest of my life with him.” you mutter, looking ahead as if your confession would make you feel less guilty if you didn’t look your friend in the eye. “Is that wrong?” you ask as you turn to him.

“Yeah, well I don’t blame you” he scoffs, and you do too, knowing how Poe feels about Kass.

You should have known, it should have been a sign. Poe is kind, compassionate, and when he doesn’t like someone, it is because he has reasons to.

“That’s not wrong.” he continues, his tone serious now. “It would have been wrong if you said yes even though you knew damn well you didn’t want to marry him” he nods. “It's not the end of the galaxy if you said no. He'll get over it”

“Yeah” you sigh. “He keeps acting like it's my fault”

“Really?” he asks, raising an eyebrow in astoundment. He shouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah. He avoids me and sends me death glares like I murdered his family or something” you snort, realizing the stupidity of it all now that you say it out loud. Kass has always been somehow childish, but this exceeds everything you could expect from him.

“Wow okay” Poe shakes his head, a small exhale of desperation escaping his mouth before he speaks again. “Well, you know how I feel about him, sweetheart.”

“I know” you confirm, sending him a weak smile. He answers you with a pinched one, and as your squad finishes their tasks and starts to gather together, Poe reaches out and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly before turning to join them.

He turns back to you quickly, “You know what? My squadron is having drinks on Coruscant tonight to have some fun before we leave for the week. You should join us”

You nod and watch him go, and feel the need to take one fat fucking breath before eventually joining everyone else.

—

Even though it is almost dry by now, the stain over your dress is still ridiculously visible. If the girl that had spilled it over you earlier hadn’t profusely apologized for it you would have most likely have had a go at her because of the awful mental state you were in – you were yourself surprised to notice how blatantly dismissive and weary you had been of that incident – it had been nothing compared to the past few days you just had.

Poe looks over at you, your gaze planted onto your glass of Black Hole as your fingers absentmindedly drum against the table; your choice of drink says it all, and though you might want to get properly drunk, Poe is strictly against it if it means you plan on moping all night long. He finishes his drink, planting a hand over your shoulder as he leans closer to you.

“Wanna go dance now?” Poe shouts in your ear, trying to overlap the loud music blasting. You scoff and shake your head, “I’m not really in the mood”

“That's exactly why we need to,” he affirms with his usual charismatic grin as he takes a hold of your hand and pulls you to the middle of the room anyway. “Come on!” you give in when you realize he’s not really asking, dragging you through the crowd. “You know I'm leaving tomorrow morning, you owe me a dance”

“Okay” you laugh as you put your hands over his shoulders, his coming to rest at either side of your waist.

You move stiffly at first, your eyes rolling playfully when Poe gives way more energy into it than you do, and despite yourself, you start to smile, and make an effort to match his energy.

Poe spins you around, his movements confident as he tries to cheer you up. "Just follow my lead, okay?" he says, his voice warm and encouraging. He twirls you under his arm smoothly, and you can’t help but laugh as he dips you dramatically, catching you with ease; he’s intimidatingly close to your face before he leans to your ear. “See? I’m not an awful dancer”

“Is there even something you’re not good at at this point,” you rhetorically ask as you both stand straight again, the movement making your head spin a little because of the alcohol.

“Following orders, probably” he jokes, still swaying with you. You laugh and let your forehead rest over his shoulder, your eyes shutting as you take a deep breath; it might have been the only moment in those past few days where you genuinely let go of all your worries.

“Hey, we should go outside, it’s hot in here. And loud” Poe proposes as you both still sway, his hand gently cradling your back.

“Sure” you nod with a smile. “Wait– I’ll join you there, I’m gonna get us drinks”

There’s a grin plastered over his face and a glint in his eyes as he glances at you when you join him outside, your drinks in hands. The cool night air is a welcome change from the overwhelming warmth inside the cantina.

“What?” you scoff, looking down at yourself, trying to figure out the reason behind his amused expression.

“Nothing” he shrugs off, taking his drink from you, but not before you catch the way his eyes linger on you.

“It’s the stain, isn’t it” you whine and sigh as you pull at the fabric of your dress to observe it. “Didn’t realize it looked that stupid”

He giggles as his mouth is still full of his drink. “It’s stylish” he admits with a cheeky grin.

You scoff and roll your eyes, your giggle fading as you both take a sip of your drinks, the silence between you comfortable as the muffled hum of the cantina’s activity buzzes just behind you. Then, out of nowhere, just as you’re about to talk again, Poe breathes out your name, his expression changing, becoming more serious as you glance at him expectantly.

“I’m in love with you.” he blurts out, like words are falling out of his mouth from being held there for too long.

You huff out a laugh. “No,” you laugh, the taste of your drink still warm in your throat. You frown a bit when you notice he doesn't waver, doesn't flinch, doesn't drop his expression to admit this is some kind of joke now that he knows it's not working on you.

“Yes I am” he declares, as serious as he is when he needs to be in his job.

You chuckle, still not fully believing what he's saying. “Are you drunk Poe?”

“Wha– no– no I’m not” he frowns, his eyebrows knitting together in earnest. “I mean it. I'm in love with you.” he affirms, his eyes searching yours with a seriousness that makes your heart skip a beat.

You pause, taken aback by the tone of his voice – he's sincere, he's not playing around. “You can’t.”

“I know.” he declares with a nod, his gaze never leaving yours. “I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore” he admits as his expression softens. “I don’t want this to ruin our relationship” he says, his voice calmer now. “And I know you can’t feel the same” he nods, “And that’s okay.”

You pinch your lips together. You're not sure what to say. You nod eventually, acknowledging it all, processing his declaration. “Well” you say finally, your voice barely louder than a whisper. “I, uh, I’ll go get another drink.”

Your glass is still mostly full.

Poe nods, swallowing with difficulty as he watches you turn and head back inside.

The sounds of laughter as you enter the cantina again make you sick to your stomach.

—

This went awful. He didn’t expect any less. He didn’t expect anything in the first place; his impulsiveness finally got the best of him.

Having to swallow it down and play it like it didn’t happen felt more humbling than every time he has had to admit he made a mistake. Jessika’s story about the maintenance issues with her X-wing is slowly starting to blur, and Poe isn’t even sure she’s still on that topic of that – at this point – one sided discussion, as he can’t help but glance over at you, talking to Karé until he eventually realizes you aren’t there with him anymore.

“Poe!” Jessika scolds him, making him turn back to her. She sighs, “You’re not even listening”

“Sorry” he apologizes, looking around the room to figure out if you’re still there. “I gotta go, keep that story for later” he nods, patting her shoulder before turning away.

“I just finished telling it,” she huffs out in disbelief, Poe’s repeated apology fading with the music as he disappears through the crowd.

You’re not in the cantina, not anymore. Karé tells him you went out for fresh air, and he finds you on the flight of stairs on the side of the building, hidden from everyone.

"I was looking for you," he halts– you're crying; you're there, sitting on the stairs, looking up from where you were hiding your face in your hands crying. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice wavering with surprise; he thought you were having a good night despite everything, having fun with Karé, he thought he had been able to make you forget about your problems for a moment. But no, and he obviously knows what’s wrong, because he managed to fuck it all up by confessing his feelings for you without thinking about it twice.

You pinch your lips, trying to repress new tears as you wipe away the ones rolling down your face. "Nothing," you mumble, shaking your head. "It's alright."

Poe sighs softly, walking up to you and sitting down with you.

He softly nudges your shoulder with his own, “You're rocking that stain,” he says, a small grin over his face. “For what it’s worth, you could even rock a First Order suit, so,” he smiles as he watches you laugh between sniffles. “You don't have to worry about that.”

He sighs, and his tone grows more serious. "I'm sorry I said everything I said. I shouldn't have burdened you with my feelings" he admits. His voice is filled with regret. He should have kept that for himself, for now anyway. “I was caught up in the moment and I didn’t realize it would hurt you more. It was stupid. It was unfair to you." his voice weakens. He looks back at your face. You blink your tears away silently. “I do realize it was possibly the worst moment I could choose to tell you this”

Poe gently wipes your tears away, before they can reach the bottom of your face.

“I don’t expect anything back from you, you don’t have to worry about that. This doesn’t have to change anything about us”

He kisses your cheek before leaving.

—

If you had to point out positive points about your indirect fight with Kass following his proposal, the fact that you weren’t living with him would be one of them.

The silence in your quarters alone was surely more bearable than the silence that would fill the space if he were there with you, you were sure of that.

And even if it’s been three days already since you rejected his proposal, you have barely talked to him despite going out of your way to try to; he has been hurt by your rejection, and he is keen on making you understand.

You can’t help but wonder if you would have been happier if you had said yes; maybe it would have been easier and maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad even though you still wouldn’t want to marry him, even if it is exactly the way Kass wants you to feel. Maybe saying yes would have been the right decision, after all, and maybe you would be set about your feelings for good with the prospect that you would allegedly spend the rest of your life with him.

Then there's Poe, his words.

Poe and his words that keep rolling around your head over and over again no matter what you’re doing and no matter what time of the day it is; those about the confession of his love towards you, and those that assured you that Kass would get over your rejection, that it’s not the end of everything, not the end of your relationship with him even if right now, it seems like a deadlock.

And almost as if it was staged, Kass steps through your door.

“Hey,” he speaks, hands in his pockets. You repeat the same thing quietly, looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to say anything, apologize maybe. He looks around your place before chuckling, pointing and walking over to the table. “It’s just– I forgot my gloves last time I came here and I need them”

“Oh, so that’s it.” you snort darkly, following him close.

“Yeah, that’s it.” he mutters nonchalantly as he picks up the pair. “What do you even mean” he frowns as he turns back at you, shoving his gloves in his jacket pocket.

“I mean you've been avoiding me all week and you think it's okay to casually come here just to pick up your stupid pair of gloves?”

“Well, they’re still mine, so” he shrugs. “And again, what do you want me to do”

You frown. “I don’t know, maybe apologize for your attitude for these past few days first. You’ve been childish”

“I’m childish? You’re the one who’s not ready for marriage.”

You chuckle in disbelief, “Yeah well, I’m sorry for not wanting assured long term with someone that behaves the way you do.” you say, looking at him in the eyes though you would rather be looking everywhere but here at the moment.

“You know,” you start, readjusting your position onto your feet. “I’ve been wondering, asking myself all of those questions, what was wrong with me for rejecting you.” he looks at you, hand still stuck in his pocket, waiting for you to make your point.

“And that’s what you wanted, right? But the one thing I really asked myself was ‘Why did he even propose’, because you don’t even care that much about me, so I don’t understand” you shake your head. “You shouldn’t have asked the question if you weren’t ready for the other answer”

He sighs, eyebrows raising slightly as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, I shouldn’t have asked at all, you’re right.” he scoffs. “I realized that, and I should have realized when we started to drift away” you frown softly, waiting for him to continue. You’re not sure what he truly means beyond that. “I asked you to marry me to be sure”

“Sure of what”

He chuckles and huffs out your name like what he means to say is evident; “You’re in love with Poe” his eyes soften, his expression relaxing as yours hardens. “Don’t try to tell me otherwise or I’ll go crazy” he laughs nervously.

“Look, I get it. He looks pretty damn close to perfect. But you should have done something about it. I shouldn’t have been the one to realize it.” he says. You sigh softly, taken aback. “This is why I’ve been avoiding you. To try to come to terms with it. Accept it.”

Knowing this is the reason Kass proposed somehow makes it simultaneously better and worse. But he’s right; he’s fucking right, you’re in love with Poe and that is exactly why you were crying on those stairs the night before Poe left for his mission, maybe it is time to face it for good and to stop trying to convince yourself that you’re just confused because of everything that has been happening in your relationship lately.

“I’m sorry” your voice is poisoned by guilt. If it feels awful for you, it must be even worse for him. He scratches his forehead awkwardly, not really knowing what to say to you. “I tried to deny it to keep it fair for you. But I think you’re right.” admitting it to him, the man you’re supposed to be with and have feelings for feels even worse than having to realize it yourself. “I’m sorry Kass.”

Kass pinches his lips in a defeated smile, “I can’t hold you back.” he huffs out in evidence. “He is too” he adds after a pause. “In love with you, I mean. It’s so blatantly obvious”

You scoff, shaking your head. “I know”

“So you can work this out” he declares with a weak smile. “I won’t be an asshole about it” he mumbles. “I should be angry but I’ve tried to accept it for a while.”

You nod, somehow grateful he is so understanding, feeling sorry that it’s been so transparent for him for so long. Not everyone would let it play like this. "Thank you, Kass."

He nods in return before sighing deeply, the weight of the past few days lifting slightly from his shoulders. “I wish you well. I mean it”

You nod again, tears welling up in your eyes. “You too.”

Your heart tightens when his look lingers over you before he turns away and exits your quarters; both relief and guilt weigh over you, and the silence that fills your room now feels much different than before.

—

You don’t love him; you are sure of that. It feels wrong and even though you still feel some sort of affection towards him, you’re not sure you can be friends anymore given how you left things off.

On the other side, when Poe hops off his X-Wing ladder after a week of being away, you don't know how to act around him anymore. You don’t know if you should go ahead and tell him everything you’ve ever wanted to tell him or if you should just pick the opposite option and avoid him as much as possible to try to ease your conscience a little.

And you do. You busy yourself with work as much as possible, avoiding running into him as much as possible, but eventually, he doesn’t really give you a choice.

“Are we okay? You didn’t even welcome me back. It’s been four days” it hasn’t even been twenty seconds since the meeting ended; the meeting you spent all your time trying to focus on instead of him.

His stupid flight suit is opened in a way that reveals his gray tank top and lets the chain around his neck slightly peek, and suddenly nothing about the First Order supply depot infiltration matters anymore.

“We are. I was busy” you affirm – you’re technically not lying. Though you were keeping yourself busy on purpose.

“I bet you were”

You frown. “Hey what do you m–”

“Kass talked to me.” he dodges.

“Oh” your voice drops, the idea of that scene so unnatural. “What did he say”

He shrugs slightly. “I think you know”

That’s a good thing they talked, somehow, no matter how much the idea terrifies you. It lifts a weight off your shoulders to know you won’t have to explain to Poe how you left things off with Kass, because you would almost rather get interrogated by the First Order than have to think about it again. “He was pretty mature about it, I’ll give him credit for that.” Poe affirms with a grin, causing you to huff out a laugh. “He also said he's resigning from the Resistance. ‘Says it has nothing to do with you, he's been thinking about it for a while” he nods with a pinch of his lips.

“Oh, okay” your eyebrows raise in surprise. “Well, ships will suddenly do better magically”

He snorts. “I’m just glad I never let him take care of mine. I think Jess was complaining about that the other day” you laugh, and he smiles at you endearingly as he watches you. “So, are we okay?” he asks more seriously, though a faint smile lingers over his face.

“Yeah, yeah, we are.” you nod, weakly smiling back at him. “It’s just been a rough couple of weeks” you admit as he gives you an empathetic smile in response.

“I know what I want but I don’t know if I’m ready,” you eventually declare cautiously, not wanting to hurt him or make him feel like you're trying to push him away. “It has all gone so fast and I think I want things to slow down a bit.” he nods understandingly before being obliged to turn when someone in the briefing room calls his name; he holds his hand up to have them wait and rests that same hand over your shoulder when he turns back to you, his gaze holding yours.

“Look– I don’t want you to jump right into this if you’re not a hundred percent sure about it.” he declares with as much conviction he has when he fights for what’s right.

“This is my thing– to jump head first into everything. That's why I acted the way I did the other night. And it was stupid considering the situation and some part of you probably hates me for it somehow so you have to be smarter about this” he insists. “And I know you will be. And even if it’s in one week or one year or five, I can handle it”

“Okay,” you mutter feebly, his firm gaze over you making your stomach flutter.

He turns back and glances at the person who was calling for him earlier, turning back to you. He hesitates, looking like he wants to say more but is unsure if he should.

“Alright. I got stuff to take care of” he eventually says with a faint sigh, like being teared out of that conversation with you physically hurts him.

“Okay Commander” you grin teasingly. He smiles and kisses the top of your head, your hand instinctively resting over his arm despite your decision to maintain some distance for the moment.

"You know where to find me if you need anything," he says quietly, his hand lingering on your shoulder for a moment longer before he steps away.

You’re still not sure what you really want as you watch him walk away, sending easy smiles to his peers as he reviews details with them for the next mission.

You think about it all over again, as you remain here in the back of the room, leaning against the wall; the way he looked at you, the understanding in his eyes, his patience and willingness to wait – it all seems so easy with him that jumping right in suddenly doesn’t make you so afraid anymore.

—

The sky isn’t particularly clear tonight. One could have picked a more scenic place to come rest to, one where clouds wouldn’t be covering D’Qar’s two moons like a thin, old veil ripped to shreds.

Poe turns at the unexpected sound of boots ruffling against the grass, a small smile growing over his face when you grunt softly as you sit down next to him.

“You lied when you said I’d know where to find you, because I’ve looked for you everywhere before finally finding you out there” you sigh softly, drawing a laugh out of him, his eyes crinkling softly.

He shrugs, “You still found me, so I technically didn't lie” he says with a smile.

“You've got a point,” you huff out, settling beside him. The air is cool, cooler than it has been those past few days. You can’t help your lips turning into a smile as Poe's face softly glows in the faint light of both moons, his gaze gentle as he looks over at you.

His eyes twinkle with amusement when he talks again, interrupted when you shift to press your lips to his, his words quickly lost on both of you. His voice fades into a small sigh against your mouth as his hand immediately, almost instinctively cups the side of your face. Your hands grip the lapel of his shirt tightly, gently pulling him closer to deepen the kiss; Poe’s chuckle vibrates against your lips as you pull away, a slight flush visible over his cheeks.

“What is this?” he asks amused, the look of surprise genuine over his face. This goes against everything you told him you wanted with him for now.

“This is me being smarter about this, being the bigger person.” you affirm in an attempt to sound confident, but you’re still slightly out of breath, your heart racing.

Poe looks at you with a teasing, feigned impressed expression before he goes in and kisses you back, the press of his lips soft yet firm against yours.

Everything around you seems to fade away as you make out for a beat, losing yourselves in this, the soft breeze of the evening tickling both of your faces though your face heats up even more when his thumb traces your cheek.

When he finally pulls back, Poe's hand is quick to find your own, his fingers fiddling and lacing with yours, his gaze on you still intense. “So much for going slow, huh?”

You chuckle, “Yeah, fuck that” you reply with a grin, feeling lighter than you have in weeks.

You both fall silent for a while; it is rare for Poe Dameron to not run his mouth for longer than a few minutes, but the back and forth of his thumb over your hand and your head leaning over his shoulder seems to be enough for him at this moment.

You shatter the silence the moment the question crosses your mind. “What would you have done if I actually married him?”

He takes a deep breath, like the weight of the question takes a toll on him.

He smirks, “This would have probably made me join the First Order” he jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood. You huff out a laugh.

“Honestly?” he asks, his tone serious now. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t really know. What would have been the best option? The least worst? “I don’t know. But I would have skipped the wedding for sure.” you softly smile at him with a look of compassion, momentarily rendered speechless by his revelation.

He pinches his lips in a weak, beaten smile as he clearly pictures the scene in his mind again, just the way he did when you announced to him that Kass had proposed before eventually telling him you had refused. “Sorry. it would have hurt my poor loverboy heart way too much” he scoffs light heartedly though it’s barely a joke, just the truth.

“Well, next time I get married you’ll be the first person I invite” you promise with a light nudge at him, your hand reassuringly squeezing his.

“Next time huh?” he retorts with a playful smile, one that you mirror before the gentle push of his lips renders you breathless again. “Not if I invite you first sweetheart,” he jokes with one last kiss, your laugh barely audible.

Poe’s thumb traces circles on the back of your hand when he notices your gaze is there now, a faint smile remaining over your face. “Hey” he calls, urging you to look up at him. “One day at the time, okay?” he cocks his head forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “We don’t have to figure everything out right now.”

There’s no rush with him, no doubt, just the certainty that whatever happens, it will seem like the easier thing in the world;

Because you love him; you are sure of that.

—

any and every comment is greatly appreciated!!

star wars taglist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly @pigeonmama

also tagging people who seemed interested in this from the post related to this, please ignore me if you actually don't care<3 @lotusbxtch @piptoost @klillaah @lounilu @moonpascal

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fluff #star wars #oscar isaac

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hannieween · 6 months

Text

after dark | city lights series | h.js

It all started with a deal with your next door neighbor, Joshua Hong. A little harmless deal that surprisingly led you to finding love; and a part of yourself that you were still discovering.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: fluff, angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, ldr ✮ word count: 22.3k

›🎧: underwater – red velvet | deep deep sleep – woodz | water – ten

→ previous chapters

› nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: alcohol consumption (no dubcon), smut with plot, dom joshua, brat reader, reader is on the pill, foul language, dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, creampies [a lot of these], cumplay, spit play, oral sex (m, f), multiple orgasms, phone sex, guided masturbation, use of sex toys (rabbit vibrator), sextapes, manhandling, quickie, anal play, praise/degradation kink, breeding kink, exhibitionism: sex in semi public spaces, brat taming: spanking, bondage (belt); pet names: sweetheart, princess, baby, bunny (hers) handsome, baby, babe, baby boy (his)

✮ this was proofread by the amazingly talented @cvntrlseecvntrlvee thank you for helping me with ideas, and for being there to witness drunk v writing that quickie hehe

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers ONLY. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part viii — part one

The ride back home was characterized by an unpleasant silence, only interrupted by your crying. It wasn't a loud, snotty weeping, you just kept silently gathering tears, sobbing every now and then.

But your boyfriend's best friend noticed. Every time you brought your hand to wipe away tears with the sleeve of your sweater, you'd feel his swift gaze on you as he kept driving.

"Do you want to grab some food? Are you okay?" Yoon Jeonghan asked once, his tone tentative and cautious.

"I'm fine," you smiled sheepishly. "I'm okay. I'm just a bit of a crybaby."

"Oh, don't say that," he responded calmly. "You're allowed to cry, it's okay."

You laughed meekly. "Is this a good first impression?" you wondered out loud. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about that," he said while eyeing you with a polite smile on his face. "You know, Joshua asked me to get you home, but I also wanted to meet you ever since he told me about you," he mentioned briefly and with a simple tone.

You turned to see the man you knew almost nothing about. "He's told you about me?"

Jeonghan scrambled for words. You noticed his shifty eyes and when he parted his lips, "I, uh, don't wanna get myself in trouble," he chuckled embarrassedly. "He just told me that he was seeing someone."

You narrowed your eyes, spotting his clear lie but decided not to press.

"You need to understand—Joshua has never been this serious with anyone in the years I've known him," he told you, eyeing you and the road. "And I've known him for a long time. So when he told me that he was serious about you... I knew I had to meet you."

"I find that hard to believe, him being single for years. I know, he's told me but," you pointed with a small laugh. "I mean, Joshua is..."

Jeonghan shifted a little in his seat. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Eyebrow piercing, emo boy, hard to resist," he chuckled. "Yes, that guy, single. I guess he's told you that he had some flings here and there but never committed."

"He doesn't–hasn't told me much about his past relationships," you told your boyfriend's best friend. "We actually don't talk about that, either his or my own past relationships."

"That's fair," he hummed, shifting the grip on the steering wheel to one hand, while he decided to rest the other on the windowsill. "But don't think that there's some tragic backstory, or whatever that's made him like this. Shuji was always set on growing his musical career before chasing someone."

You stifled a laugh. "Suppose I got lucky, then."

"Maybe you both are just lucky," he muttered, eyes set on the road ahead.

"So how did you two meet?" you wondered. "If you don't mind me asking."

"We met through another friend," he eyed you curiously. "Choi Seungcheol, you've met him?"

"I don't think I have, no," you frowned and then your mouth parted. "Oh! Is it the bar owner?"

Jeonghan nodded. "That's the one," he gave you an amused smile. "Now the story of how we actually met is something I decidedly shouldn't tell you," he chuckled again and darted a look at you. "Ask your boyfriend."

"Why, is it bad?" you asked innocently.

"No, not bad. Nothing is bad if you have a good excuse," he let out a low cackle. "It was a really fun night. I lost a lot of money," he coughed a bit, steering the wheel with one hand.

"Mmph, that only generates more questions, you know," you scoffed and he only gave you a grin in response.

"Your turn, then," he looked at you when the car stopped at a red light. "How did you meet Joshuji? Of course, if that's a story you would like to share."

Joshuji. Your stomach twisted at the sound of the fond nickname.

"I uh, I have really bad sleeping habits," you started with some shyness, but there was something in the nature of your boyfriend's best friend. He seemed inviting and familiar.

"Ah, really?" his eyebrows shot up.

You nodded, continuing: "I went to his door one day to tell him to stop playing his guitar because I couldn't sleep, thinking it was really early in the morning to be playing on speakers," you chuckled awkwardly. "Turns out that it was well past noon. And I was still in pjs, sleep deprived and cranky."

"Mmmn," he nodded with thought. "I have bad sleep habits too."

"Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that," you replied pitifully.

"Don't be. I'm used to it," he replied quickly, drawing in a breath before he pulled to the curb. "And there you go, Ms. Hong. Arrived home safe."

"Thank you for the ride," you smiled, gathering your bearings and before you could step out of his fancy car you turned to see the man. "Let me compensate you in some way."

His eyebrows pushed up. "I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, let me buy you lunch or so-something," you replied shyly. "I owe you."

He snorted a laugh. "Ever heard of friends? You owe me nothing."

You looked away, trying to hide the evident shame you felt and probably showed in your face. "I also want to know more about you... and Joshua."

"Ah, then you should've said it like that," he tutted, a smile threatening to break on his face. "Lunch is alright."

The first weekend went by slowly.

Thankfully, you had a lot of work to bury yourself in, such as signing books, preparing and green lighting stuff for the book promotions. You were surprised to see that your agency had secured you round a of interviews, so you had to prepare for that too.

One morning you were returning to your apartment, a bag of fresh groceries in your arms, when you saw a tall man standing outside your door. Your stomach twisted at the sight, and your first instinct was to think of Joshua, even if that was quite improbable.

But the man faced the door, and you caught sight of his sharp nose and slightly curly dark hair hiding beneath a black beanie. You suddenly realized that you'd seen this man before, and it was your neighbor.

"Hi," you chirped, making the man turn to you now. "Seokmin, right?"

"Hi, there," he gave you a toothy grin. "That's right. I'm just here to drop by some things that Joshua left in our old apartment. Is it alright if I drop them with you?"

"Yeah, of course," you replied, noticing the cardboard box in his arm. You reached to open up the door and stepped inside. "You can leave it on the table, it's fine."

"Thanks," he muttered. "That's all he left behind, that's it for me. Have a nice day!"

And with that, you were barely uttering a phrase in goodbye when Seokmin walked out your door, turning down to the elevator instead to what used to be Joshua's apartment. A hollow feeling invaded you when it dawned on you that the place was finally empty now.

With a long sigh, you closed your door and turned to the box on the table. You decided to pry inside it, to find some pillowcases neatly folded, a bottle of shampoo, a black cap, sunglasses, a protein shaker and a pair of training gloves.

You gave yourself the freedom to empty the box and find a place for these items in your bedroom. Joshua had left two large sound amplifiers in your apartment already, so you saw no reason why you shouldn't find somewhere to keep his other stuff.

You were just leaving the bottle of shampoo in the shower when you caught the tangy smell of citrus, like fresh lemonade or the tangerine splash when you peel off the juicy fruit. It instantly reminded you of the smell of Joshua's hair, the smell you swore lingers in the pillow he used the last time he slept with you.

Joshua had been gone for two days, and you were getting by just fine. He called once a day and texted whenever he could. But the truth was that he kept busy, and had little time to even catch up with you.

So in an attempt to distract yourself from the gut wrenching feeling you got from missing him, you went into your room and lay down on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone.

That's when you were reminded of the videos Joshua had sent the night he arrived at his hotel room. He made no comment about it, just dropped them in the conversation he shared with you and you hadn't had the opportunity to watch them. Until now.

The videos Joshua sent you were of the last night you had sex with him. One video started and the first thing that caught your eye was your face. Your heart sank at the first glimpse of what his view was when he fucked you: the camera flash hit your eyes and you grimaced slightly, but you could see in the video, despite it all, your lust-blown eyes looking at him expectantly.

It was the first time you saw yourself in this position. Lying face up to him, your head in the pillows, hair spread all over them. In that second, you could feel yourself heating up when you saw yourself like this. And your arms were framing your head and your wrists, god—bound by rope tightly and tied up to your headboard. Joshua's hand came into the frame, and the angle of the camera shifted down to your naked body, thus showing his.

A burning sensation rushed inside you when you saw his cock, fully hard, as Joshua gripped it in his hand. He kept his thumb on top of his veiny, thick shaft. Your mouth watered as you saw him guiding it to your core.

A desperate need to feel what your eyes were watching overwhelmed you so badly that you had to pause the video and put your phone down. You were surprised at the response of your body, your accelerated heart, the excitedness coursing through your veins, buzzing in your ears. You knew you had to do something about it.

You felt your pulse beneath your hot skin as you tugged your shorts down with one hand, dragging your wet panties along and finished taking them off by kicking them with your feet.

Pushing your knees up, you parted your thighs slightly, only to sneak one hand in and let out a sigh upon feeling just how wet you were already.

Your free hand scrambled in your bed, blindly searching for your phone and you tapped play to resume watching Joshua's hand, guiding his pretty cock inside you. The reddened cockhead nudged in your entrance—just as your fingers glided in your wetness, your mind went blank, subdued by the need to recreate what you felt that night.

"Fuck," Joshua muttered when he sheathed himself completely inside you, his voice sounded soft in the video, making you shudder in ecstasy as your fingers toyed with your clit.

The first video ended there. But the next one was even dirtier. As you continued rubbing your clit, your eyes watched Joshua's point of view, as he fucked you slowly. You saw his cock disappearing inside you, and then pulling back out, glistening wet from his arousal and your own.

The faces you made, the noises that escaped your parted lips, your lust-lidded eyes as you kept them trained on him. You remembered then that you were getting more aroused by seeing his own enjoyment, the pleasure he got from having you bound to your bed.

You also heard his breathing through the video, though you couldn't see his face. You ached to see him, to feel him again as the second video came to an end.

The videos were on loop as you worked on your poor throbbing pussy and you came while watching them over and over again. You felt pathetic, tired, furiously needy, and you know a couple of videos wouldn't suffice.

"Joshua, Joshua..." you chanted until your voice was hoarse, your body twitching in your bed.

You had tossed your phone on the pillow beside your head, only getting by the memory of him fucking you, and the sound of the low grunts caught on the video. You touched yourself until your fingers were worn, your poor pussy so wet you couldn't even touch your clit properly without the pads of your fingers slipping.

A chilling shudder shook your body when your phone started buzzing beside your head. You turned to look at the pop-up tab above the video of your boyfriend fucking you. Only to see that he was calling you.

"He-hello?" you croaked and cleared your throat. "Hi."

"Hi, bunny," your boyfriend sighed contentedly. "Am I interrupting something?"

You moved your hand from between your legs and rested it on top of your lower tummy.

"No, not at all," you lied and your voice betrayed you completely.

"Sure, baby? I can call later. I just got to the hotel room and was thinking of catching up with you," he hummed happily, you heard him groan when you assumed by the noise at the other end that he just threw himself onto a bed.

"I'm fine, Josh," you sighed, thinking of what to say. "Ha-how was your day?"

"Are you sick, baby? You sound a little hoarse–,"

"I'm okay," you gulped nervously and closed your eyes shamefully: "I was watching the videos you sent me."

Joshua paused for a second only. "Oh, my sweet girl, you should've just said that," he cooed and you knew by his tone that he was smiling: "Were you touching yourself, baby?"

"I–," you choked out nervously. "Yeah."

"Don't let me stop you, sweetheart," he purred with his honeyed voice and you squeezed your eyes, shaking with a violent shudder that demanded you to continue pleasuring yourself.

"Joshua," you blurted, your voice high and shaky. "I need you."

"What do you need from me, baby? Sounds like you were at it for quite some time, am I right?" he said tauntingly.

"I need you Josh,—I can't anymore," you mumbled coyly.

"You can't what, baby?" he asked, sounding amused and when you didn't give him an immediate reply, he just assumed. "Did you tease that pretty pussy until you can't come anymore?"

"Can you help me? Please Josh," you sighed pathetically, trying to ignore the throbbing of your walls.

"Get your rabbit dildo," he instructed without skipping a beat.

That drew a triumphant grin from you, getting up from your bed you walked to your dresser, where you kept your toys inside a box and got the vibrator. "How did you know I wasn't using my toys?"

"A feeling," he hummed sweetly. "Did you like the videos, baby?"

You settled back in your bed, dildo in one hand, phone in the other pressing against your ear. "Yeah, I did. I wish you recorded for longer, though."

"Maybe I did it on purpose," he replied in a low tone. "Maybe I just wanted you to have a little reminder."

"But I want more," you whined with a pout, knowing that the whiny tone in your voice would work on him. "I need you so bad, Joshua."

"Turn it on," he purred and you carried out his order immediately. When he heard the faint buzzing of your vibrator, he added: "I miss you too, baby. You have no idea. I miss you. I miss your lips. I want you to kiss me more when we make love, will you do that, baby?"

"Ye-yeah, Josh," you stammered. "I will do anything you want me to."

"Mm, baby, you're so good," he sighed softly. "So fucking good to me. Put the tip in, bunny—slowly."

"Mmnah," you moaned as soon as the tip came into contact with your throbbing pussy and you pushed in, slowly as he indicated, but then the slow thrusting motion of the dildo made you squirm a little. "Joshua–,"

"Don't push it all the way in, not yet," he directed, knowing full well that you would do just as he said. So you didn't let the shaft go all the way into the additional part of the dildo that would massage your clit.

"Josh," you sighed, biting back a moan as the slow thrusting of the dildo worked on your pussy. But still, it was not enough.

"I also miss the way you feel around me," he said with a low groan and you shuddered again, delighting over the fact that he too was aroused. "You feel... You feel like nothing else, baby. So fucking addictive."

"Are you–, are you touching yourself too, Josh?" you asked with a high-keen pitch.

"Mm, yeah. I am baby," he purred softly and your body responded with an ecstatic shudder. The truth is he got hard the moment he knew you were playing with yourself.

So there he was, sprawled in his hotel bed, completely naked, cock in his hand languidly pumping himself. "I need you too, bunny. Need to feel you."

You let out a whiny moan in response, feeling like his words were doing more work on your body than the dildo thrusting inside your walls slowly and rhythmically. "Fuck," you whispered. "I need to feel you too, Josh. It–it's not the same."

"Of course it's not the same, bunny," he groaned softly and you heard a soft sigh that resembled a smile. "Does my sweet girl miss my cock?"

You swallowed hard. "Ye-yeah. I miss you, Josh."

"That's not what I asked," he toyed, a small smile on his face as he rolled his hand around his reddened cockhead, smearing his shaft with precum to keep pumping slowly.

"I miss your cock. I need you inside me, need you to fuck me," you blurted out uncontrollably.

Joshua swallowed back a moan upon hearing you talk like that. And you got a taste of what he felt whenever you moaned in his ear when a low, raspy hum poured into your ear and your inner thighs clenched instantly.

"Close your eyes and push the dildo further, turn up the speed for me," you responded with a loud moan when you did. "Just let yourself go. Imagine it's me, can you do that, baby?"

"God, Josh," you moaned as your inner thighs started to shake slightly. You tried to imagine him, inside you instead of the vibrator, and its mechanical thrusting.

"I'm here, sweetheart," he murmured with a low raspy voice that only made your walls throb desperately. "God, I miss your needy pussy too. Always so wet and tight for me, sucking my cock back in. So fucking good, baby."

At that, you felt your walls flutter around the vibrator. Joshua knew how much you loved hearing him talk like that, his honeyed, worn voice pouring into your ear, making your body burn in pure delight. You could only give him a mewling sound in response.

"Yeah, I like hearing that," he said with a low rasp.

"Mmnf–fuck. Josh, I need more," you blurted impatiently when you were just at the edge, but needed more friction in your clit, needed to feel stuffed full. "Can I, babe?"

A pause.

"What did you just call me, baby?" he asked, his voice taut and almost breaking at the end. His lips raised in a smirk and pressed the phone to his ear to listen to your ragged breathing.

"Babe," you sighed a moan, no longer able to contain yourself, your legs twitching involuntarily.

"Fuck," Joshua blurted out in a mere a whisper. His mind reeled with an ecstatic shudder when he realized how much he loved hearing you call him that.

You could've smiled at that if it weren't for the desperate need for release. "Please I need more," you pressed. "Ca-can I go faster?"

"Mmn," a long hum, raw and almost inaudible. His hand gripped his cock tighter, now pumping himself faster. "Yeah, bunny. Go all the way in. Go faster too."

You pushed the dildo inside you with a blissful sigh. "Thank you, babe," you moaned and switched the speed to the one that would get you to come. "God, I need you, Josh."

"Yeah, baby?" he grunted slightly and then he sighed out when he felt his chest cave in. "I need you too. I miss your body and your warmth..."

Your mind had gone blank the minute the rabbit ears of the dildo started rubbing your clit, at the same time that the shaft increased the speed of the steady thrusts.

"Josh, I'm close, baby," you whimpered, lifting your hips from the bed slightly, rolling them as your orgasm drew nearer.

"God," Joshua gasped and swallowed back a moan. "I know you want me to talk dirty right now, baby, but I really fucking miss you."

"I miss you too, Josh," you squeezed your eyes shut, your jaw going slack as your sweet high took over your body, making you moan loudly.

"Fuck, fuck. I'm close too," he breathed, his fist pumping on his cock faster. "Keep doing that, baby. I need to hear you."

"Mmn, Josh," you whimpered lewdly, arching your back on the bed, letting the fiery pleasure consume you at last, crying out in pleasure, walls clenching erratically around the rabbit dildo.

"Joshua," you sobbed. "Baby, I love you."

An ecstatic feeling flooded inside him. A raspy moan coiled in Joshua's throat and he screwed his eyes shut, letting a shaky exhale out as his orgasm spilled all over his hand and abdomen, slowly pumping himself until the last spurts of cum came out of him.

"I love you too, bunny," he replied with a shy murmur.

You turned off the vibrator letting the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm run through your body. "Did you come because I told you that I love you, Josh?" you realized.

"Yeah," he replied and groaned slightly upon hearing your adorable laugh. "Don't laugh at me."

"You're cute," you cooed and then you mimicked him, almost getting his honeyed tone to a point: "Do you like hearing me say that, baby?"

"Of course I do, bunny," he replied with a hint of feigned annoyance. "I think I won't ever get tired of hearing you say it."

"Ever?" you asked, pressing your ear to the phone to hear him sigh and you just knew he was smiling.

"Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy but, I really like when you talk sweet to me," he said with a shy, breathy chuckle.

"Mm, I'll do it more often," you grinned. "You might get sick of me."

"I promise you, I won't," he asserted. "D'you feel better now, baby?"

"Yeah," you exhaled, a gloomy feeling falling upon you. "But I'm sad you're not here to care for me afterwards."

Joshua gave you a disgruntled sound. "I know, I know. But I still need you to do what we normally would do together, okay?" he asked softly and your gut twisted over imagining his eyebrows knitting.

"Mmn, but you're not here to cuddle me," you reproached some more.

"Baby," he pressed firmly.

"Okay, okay," you conceded.

"How about this: we go wash and I'll call you again?" he offered with a softer tone now.

"Mmh yeah, I'd like that," you murmured. And with that, you went and washed your hands thoroughly, and cleaned the vibrator, neatly placing it back to where you kept it.

Afterwards, Joshua videocalled you. And as you talked, you started to feel better, as if the nostalgic feeling was a mere afterthought now. Joshua talked about the city he was in, the hotel room he was staying in and the excitement he felt about his upcoming show.

You have no recollection of when you fell asleep, only that you woke up the following day with a message from Joshua that read: "You've fallen asleep, baby… I hope you don't mind if I keep an eye on you for a few minutes. Before I go to sleep. I love you, bunny."

Attached to that message, was a screenshot of you peacefully asleep, the angle twisted to what you assumed was your hand relaxing around your phone. But your face was in the frame, half buried in the pillow, mouth parted a little. And in the corner, the screenshot showed Joshua's face, smiling fondly at the sight of you.

Yoon Jeonghan is a light sleeper.

That is one of the things that you learned about your boyfriend's best friend, during the time you've got to spend together. With Joshua being away for touring and recording sessions, Jeonghan has been there. Slowly, he has become a close friend of yours and he was pretty adamant on being friends. He was one of a kind in that, just a really good friend.

The night you learned he was a light sleeper was a fun night. You had been hate-watching a reality show together over wine and picking on a charcuterie board. Jeonghan had been visiting every few days now, either to watch a movie together or to silently piece together a Lego set.

"Mm, they're gonna kick him out next," Jeonghan asserted. His injured leg was propped up on the couch directly in front of him, a relaxed look on his face, probably from the alcohol.

"But he's the sweetest," you cooed, glossy eyed watching the screen.

"Yeah, that's why," he nodded, a bright look on his face.

You arched an eyebrow at him. Jeonghan was smart. And not only the book-smart kind of guy. He was a pretty good judge of character, just like yourself. But the theater director could read people like you could books.

"He's too sweet for this show, they let him play just enough to keep viewers hooked and will drop him to cause a bigger shock," he pointed one lithe finger to the screen with a devilish grin on his face.

You clicked your tongue. "You're a terrible viewer," you quipped, making his drowsy-lidded eyes turn to you. "You're getting ahead of the thing before it happens!"

Jeonghan scoffed. "Wanna bet?"

"No," you replied wearily with a pout and turned away sheepishly. "You've won all the bettings I've struck with you."

You heard him giggle. "You could win this one, come on, bet," he nodded to the TV.

"I think the pretty one will be kicked out next," you mused, a small smile bundling up your wine-warmed cheeks.

"Why?" Jeonghan stretched out the word. "She's the hottest one in this show!"

"Well, just like you said," you began. "She's pretty and is in love, so that's out for a show that wants to see them all bumping meats together."

"Bumping meats?" Jeonghan retorted and laughed.

"You know what I mean!" you whined.

"You're like an old lady sometimes," he cackled, bringing his vape pen between his lips and dragging in a puff, letting the smoke cascade out of his mouth.

"Stop smoking in my apartment, Yoon Jeonghan!" you squealed.

"Make me," he chuckled and dragged in another breath.

"You–" you cut yourself off before you could think of an insult and grabbed a cushion from the couch to throw it at his face when he laughed even harder at your shy expression.

The cushion hit him square in the face, but it also fell on top of his hand that was holding the wine glass, toppling it over the couch.

"Oop," you uttered, getting the glass before it fell from the seat and onto the floor. But your couch had already suffered all the damage.

"Oh, princess, I'm sorry," Jeonghan cooed immediately upon seeing the red wine stain settling in the seat of your white couch.

"No, no, it's alright," you mumbled, rising from the couch yourself to get a kitchen towel and coming back to press the dry cloth on it. "It's my fault."

You had knelt in front of the couch to press the kitchen towel to stop it from spreading more. Jeonghan was still sitting down, his knee brushed your arm slightly and he moved from it.

"You can bill me for the cleaning service," he assured, looking down as you still did a feeble attempt to do something.

"No, don't worry about it," you shook your head, the movement making you feel dizzy. "I won't let you."

Jeonghan's lips stretched into a smile slowly. "I don't care what you do, let me take care of it."

You narrowed your eyes at him. Jeonghan stared you down as well, pushing his black hair from the side of his face and tucking it behind his ear.

What broke your stare-down contest was the loud buzzing of your phone that had been long forgotten on the coffee table. You jolted slightly and turned from the man hovering above you and picked up the call.

"Hi, Josh," you cooed, eyeing your friend whose smile just got bigger.

"Baby, I'm facetiming you. Stop pressing the phone to your ear," Joshua laughed.

"Oh," you pulled the phone away and the man beside you scoffed a laugh. "Sorry."

Your boyfriend was lying back on the high pillows of the hotel room, his hair washed up and looking like he wasn't wearing a shirt.

"Do you have someone over?" Joshua frowned slightly. The videofeed in the corner showed the camera pointed at you, and in the background, you could see the coffee table with the charcuterie board, wine bottles and glasses. And Jeonghan's wallet, keys, phone and his vape pen.

"Jeongjeong is here," you nodded and pointed the phone to your boyfriend's best friend.

Jeonghan pressed two fingers to his forehead and saluted the camera with a small. "'Sup."

"What are you two guys doing?" was the first thing Joshua said, eliciting an alarming feeling that crawled down your neck.

Though his tone was simple and unsuspecting of anything, you felt nervous nonetheless. Joshua was quite the possessive boyfriend, but since he went away and you had been getting to know his best friend, he has never said anything negative about it.

"We're hate-watching this show," you started.

"We're in the middle of settling a bet!" Jeonghan interjected, making you chuckle out a drunk laugh.

"Are you drunk, sweetheart?" Joshua caught on immediately after that.

"A bit," you murmured, squinting with one eye and bringing up a hand to pinch two fingers in the air. Joshua smiled when you got to your feet and sat beside Jeonghan, on the side that wasn't spilled with wine. Now your video feed on the corner of your phone screen showed you and Jeonghan.

"What's your bet about now?" Joshua asked, watching you with an amused expression on his face.

"Jeonghan is just taking advantage of my poor financing skills," you slurred.

Jeonghan smirked and your boyfriend did too almost as if on cue.

"Don't let him win, baby," your boyfriend advised, but the tone he used with you made you discreetly tuck your lower lip behind your teeth.

"I'm gonna win again. Until you learn," the man beside you shrugged, brushing his shoulder against yours in the process.

Joshua rolled his eyes with a huff. You watched Jeonghan and back to the screen, feeling like you just missed out on the joke.

"Le-learn what?" you babbled.

"I always win," Jeonghan said with ease, making your boyfriend groan.

You gaped at him. "You're cocky," you rolled your eyes and shook your head at him. "Anyway, how are you, Josh?"

This was sort of a new tradition between you and your boyfriend now, he would facetime you and talk about your day, share thoughts and talk like this for at least an hour.

Joshua sucked in a breath slowly. "Tired," he exhaled. "It was a long session today," he said, his honeyed voice sounding worn.

You pouted slightly. Joshua had been recording with Midnight Haze for their first produced album. Every city they hit, they rent a studio and get to recording so they have to use their hours to finish recording their songs fast.

"Take care of yourself, Josh," you cooed, not caring to be openly affectionate with Jeonghan beside you.

"I'm alright, princess. I'm off to bed," he sighed tiredly but with a content look on his face. "You two continue to have fun, okay?"

"M'kay," you mumbled a bit deflated, you hated the days you couldn't get more time talking to him.

"But not too much fun," your boyfriend's mouth turned into a cheeky grin, the pierced eyebrow quirking up. "Not without me."

Jeonghan leaned on your shoulder, taking most of the frame of the camera. "Bye Joshuji," he chanted and waved with his hand.

"Take care," your boyfriend said, although in your state you understood it as don't drink more than you can handle, and nodded.

"Love you, Josh," you said with all the emotion you could muster without making your friend uncomfortable.

"I love you too, baby," he muttered warmly.

The video feed went out and you were met with your reflection on the screen, your eyes beginning to brim with tears as you tossed your phone on the coffee table.

"What?" Jeonghan blurted at that moment and you sniffed, so he went on: "What, what's going on? Why are you crying?"

You knew your tears were part from all the alcohol overpowering your emotions but you were suddenly overcome with a heart wrenching sadness, and worry.

"Oh no, not again," Jeonghan muttered and clicked his tongue. "Come here," he cooed warmly and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you into a cozy embrace.

"I'm sorry," you stuttered between tears, sniffing loudly. "I just–,"

"I know, you don't need to say it," he muttered with a warm tone. "You miss him, you're getting second thoughts."

"I'm not having second thoughts," you frowned and looked at his eyes, drowsy over the alcohol.

"Really?" he pushed his eyebrows up and gave you a tipsy smile. "Really?"

You sent him a confused look. "I–, I've never said that–"

"You don't have to," he muttered. "I've listened to you and all I hear is you guiltripping yourself and then going on a fucking rabbit hole about not 'being good enough' and not telling him how you feel sooner and, honestly it's just–," he sighed.

Your eyebrows knitted involuntarily. "That's how I sound?"

"Yeah, kinda," he tilted his head side to side. "Listen, I know why you feel like this and I hear you but, I think you're more upset by not seeing him as frequently as you used to. Like a baby who just lost their favorite toy."

You laughed through your tears and Jeonghan responded with a sweet smile of his own. "That's mean, Jeongjeong," you muttered, reaching out for your glass of wine and the bottle, pouring a tiny bit more for you to sip.

"It's just how I see it," he gave you a tight squeeze with his arm before releasing you. "Would you feel better if you go and meet up with him?"

"Yeah, I know I would," you said, leaning your head back on the headrest and looking at the ceiling. "But we're not seeing each other for a couple of weeks. And he will not be able to make it to the book release party, so."

Jeonghan leaned his head back the same as you. You turned to see him, he was frowning slightly, his eyes out of focus. "What if I told you that I just got tickets for his show next Saturday?"

You snorted loudly, nearly choking on your saliva, an act fueled by alcohol. "What?"

"And I can also get you there without Joshua knowing, so it could be a surprise. Then you can talk to him about what's bothering you, " he shrugged and gave you a look. "Maybe even convince him to clear his schedule so he can be here."

"You're being oddly nice," you pointed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it," Jeonghan warned and then let out a sigh through a shy smile.

You sighed, looking at the big wine stain on your couch.

Somehow you couldn't bring yourself to care. You gathered your tears with the back of your hand, sniffing involuntarily before saying: "I want a burger," it was a sad declaration.

Jeonghan snorted. "Right now?" he raised his arm, the screen of his smartwatch lighting up from the movement. "It's one in the morning, I doubt we'll find anything open."

"Mm nah, forget it," you brushed off. "I'll get you another glass, hold on."

You slowly gathered your limbs but before you could get up, Jeonghan stopped you with one hand.

"Don't get up," he muttered quickly. "I can't drink more, I have to drive."

"You're leaving already?" you looked at the screen. "But we have to watch the season's finale."

Jeonghan directed his eyes at you. "Then I'll just drink from your glass, just don't get up. We can't both be disabled at the same time."

"I'm not that drunk," you slurred.

"Pfft, yeah right," he smiled and nodded at the flatscreen. "Let's keep watching."

You don't know how or when you fell asleep. You woke up disoriented, your head had fallen languidly from Jeonghan's shoulder, the abrupt awakening made your heart race and your mind reel with some lucidity.

Did you fall asleep on Jeonghan's shoulder?

He had fallen asleep too, his head leaning on the headrest, the features of his face were relaxed, his eyelids trembling slightly as he snored softly.

The screen was frozen, the faint buzzing sound from its electricity made you look for the remote and turn it off. You left the remote on the coffee table, your fingers bumped slightly with the empty glass of wine.

With that, Jeonghan woke up with a start. "Wha–what?" he mumbled sleepily, his arms stretching out into the air.

"We fell asleep," you mumbled, noticing in your speech how drunk you were still.

"Fuck, we did," he groaned, reaching for his phone on the coffee table.

"You can crash here," you offered. "I can bring you blankets and a decent pillow if you want."

Jeonghan raised his wrist once again, noting that it was already three in the morning. "I appreciate that," he lifted his eyes to look at you. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," you replied with a shy smile.

Some days later, you flew out to surprise your boyfriend in a foreign country. You realized that it wouldn't take much to convince your boyfriend that you were deep in work and totally not about to take a plane. And the reason why it was easy was because you barely talked anymore, since Joshua was kept busy with his own work.

The ticket that Jeonghan had gotten was for a VIP section, up in the wings on one side close to the stage. There was an ominous buzz coming from the people gathering below, waiting for the lights to go out, waiting for the show to begin.

The excitement that coursed through your entire body when you saw Joshua approach the stage and step under the lights was unparalleled. He looked almost ethereal to you.

The orange glow coming from the overhead light made Joshua's frame look warmer and darker, for some reason. The shadows painted on his face almost gave him a melancholic appearance. His eyes remained closed, and his eyebrows knitted in deep focus as he started singing, his sweet and breathy tone taking over the entire venue.

The very few times you've gotten the opportunity to see him perform live, it has been up close. So now that you were some distance from him, you were overwhelmed by a nostalgic feeling, even if he was there, standing under a spotlight.

Slowly as he strummed the first chords of the opening song, the bass and drums joined in with a splashing crescendo, the whole stage became alight in yellow and purple hues and the crowd lauded in cheers and applause.

The song picked up some pacing and the sound of strenuous metal filled your ears, it banged through your body and took over you with a joyous sway. And it seemed that Joshua was taken over by the same urge to move his body to the happy and faster beat of the song.

Joshua looked elated by the time the first song ended. He smiled and gripped the microphone with one hand, eyes running over the crowd as he lifted the other hand, greeting the crowd by the name of its city.

"This is our first time here and we're excited to be opening for Crimson Moon," Joshua sighed with a pleased grin as the crowd went crazy again and waited until it died down again to say: "We're Midnight Haze and this next song is called Reverie."

Joshua turned to see the drummer's signal. Jihoon nodded at him and started playing right away. Then you watched the rest of Midnight Haze's opening show, you saw the lead singer dance with his guitar and frown while singing until the veins on his neck popped up slightly.

Midnight Haze took a minute before starting to play their last song, Joshua bent over to grab a bottle of water and looked at the sea of people as he gulped slowly and then lowered the bottle. His big brown eyes lifted up to the second level stopping cold when they zeroed on you.

Joshua's gaze softened and his shoulders went slack, he wasn't anticipating you there and it showed in his reaction. Your whole body went alight with exhilaration, making you raise your hand and wave at him, "Hi, baby," you mouthed.

The smile he gave you took over the beautiful features of his face, it was so bright that it seemed to quiet down the low murmur of the crowd. It made your whole world stop.

It was quick: he pressed the tips of his fingers against his lips and motioned the kiss at you. Then he was back on business, grabbing his guitar and a pick from the mic stand.

"This next song is our last, it's called Lights Out."

The song was quick paced and happy. It was one of your favorites because it seemed that every time you listened to its beat, it put you into a chipper mood. It ended with a bang, leaving the crowd ready for the main show.

It seemed that Joshua was eager to finish with his presence onstage and get off, because he just simply came forward, waving to the crowd with a cheerful: "We were Midnight Haze, have an incredible night!" and took the strap of his guitar off his shoulder, and walked out the stage with his bandmates following behind.

You wondered what would happen next. Should you wait until the main show is over to look for him? He must be busy after the show.

The following minutes went by achingly slow. You checked your phone to no avail—thinking that Joshua might reach out to you and tell you what to do next but as the white lights were still on, illuminating the whole venue, you looked, searched for his face,

You checked your phone again, biting your lower lip unsure of what to type, what would be the first thing you would say to him upon seeing him for the first time in days?

So you were beginning to type: where are you, on your phone, pressing send and hoping to see him replying. You waited, tapping the screen with the tip of your finger as if that were going to help change the offline status under your boyfriend's name.

You winced in alarm when two large hands slid onto your waist from behind you, and before you could turn to see, you instantly recognized your boyfriend's touch.

"Hi, baby," he muttered in your ear with a raspy voice. His arms encircled you, pressing you against his tall frame and he buried his face in your shoulder.

"Hi, handsome," you replied warmly.

The crowd cheered and went crazy the moment the stage lights went out, signaling that the main show was about to begin. At that moment, Joshua used his hands on you to turn you around, sinking his lips between yours in a hard kiss.

In the darkness, you tried to palm his chest, finding his sweaty face and neck from the performance he just stepped down from. But you still grabbed his face with your hands to press more kisses on his face.

The main show started with a loud whirring of guitars and a booming voice greeted the crowd from below.

"Come with me," Joshua muttered in your ear, grabbing one of your hands from his face and dragging you through the sea of people. He tugged at your hand to keep you close, maneuvering you to walk in front of him as you both went downstairs.

"Where are we going?" you asked innocently as he pointed you to a dimly lit corridor and now he led the way, away from the stage and the crowd.

The vibrations from the loud music muffled your voice, and it appeared that your boyfriend didn't hear you, but he turned all the same, pulling you from your arm and wrapping you in his again. Joshua was happy, the happiest you've ever seen in his eyes as he lifted you from the floor and twirled on his feet.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" he asked, now you were face to face so you heard him clearly. "I thought you were caught up with the book release."

"I wanted to surprise you," you replied with a shy smile.

He put you back on the ground, but was quick to lean down and capture your lips with his own. "When do you go back?" he asked between shallow kisses.

"Why? Do you want me to leave already?" you joked.

"No, no. I just want to know how much time we'll have," he replied, pulling apart and his brow furrowed.

"I leave on Monday," you replied to his question, seeing his expression change slightly. "I didn't lie, I do have a ton of stuff to get ready."

You saw his eyes roam on your face as he appeared to be thinking about something. "Can't you stay a bit longer?" he asked and then shook his head. "Nevermind. You're here."

His hand slid on the side of your face, grabbing you gently before kissing you, his lips moving on yours perfectly. You moaned when his tongue caressed your lower lip, turning the kiss into one that denoted his need to make you feel how much he missed you.

Joshua took your hand, motioning you to the end of the corridor where a large double door stood with security bodies. You both crossed it and then you were in a large waiting room.

You immediately spotted the other two members of Midnight Haze. Jihoon was sitting on one end of a black couch, and he was speaking with someone beside him, a man who you didn't recognize. Vernon on the other hand, was sitting on a lonely sofa, phone in hand and red cup in the other, scrolling his boredom away.

They were surrounded by small groups of people, seemingly all artists or people in the medium. It seemed like it, at least. When Joshua entered the room, a lot of eyes looked his way, and yours, since he was holding your hand and keeping you close to him.

"Hey, Josh, nice gig," someone said in passing, patting Joshua on the back.

"Thanks, man," Joshua nodded with a polite smile.

Your fingers were laced with his, but you felt like you needed both hands to hold onto his. The room was packed, and you felt tiny amongst the people who stood and stared at you.

You were suddenly hit with the realization that this was something that you would have to get used to. You were Joshua's girlfriend now. The lead singer of the successful band Midnight Haze is slowly rising to fame.

And you weren't sure if you wanted to be caught in the spotlight just yet.

Joshua led you to the end of the room where fewer people gathered, but still, he received a lot of praise as you both made your way over. There was a large table, covered with a black tablecloth and cluttered with snacks of all types.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly, leaning closer so he would have the chance to talk to you in a sweet tone.

You shook your head silently, looking around to make sure no one kept their watchful eyes on your boyfriend.

He seemed not to notice this. "How did you get here?" he said and then his eyes widened. "Jeonghan. Did he do this?"

"Yeah," you shrugged. "Said he wanted us to have a moment together."

Joshua's brow furrowed in thought for a moment, but then he decided not to expand on that by saying: "I have to stay here for a couple of more minutes and then we can go to the hotel if you want to rest."

You tilted your head to one side, looking at his face. "I just want to be with you, handsome," you mumbled, but it came out like a sweet purr.

Joshua smiled, it was an instant reaction, as if his face didn't know what else to do. "Baby, are you flirting with me right now?"

You nodded shyly, tucking your lower lip between your teeth to avoid smiling.

"In front of all these people?" he muttered, his dark eyes glinting with amusement.

"So what if I am?" you blinked, trying with all your might to keep that composure. "What are you going to do?"

He closed his eyes with a smile, it was a brief gesture but you knew that he was enjoying this. But he kissed your forehead, pressing his lips fully to your skin, making you tilt your head back slightly.

"Behave," he muttered quietly. "I have to talk to some people we're recording with tomorrow and then we leave, okay?"

You smiled complacently and nodded. "Okay, baby," you replied with a sweet tone.

His hand cupped the back of your head and you reached out for his kiss. "Fuck," he whispered into your lips and a smile painted his face, rolling his eyes before he added: "Don't make this harder for me, bunny."

You chuckled and gave your seductive act up. "Fine."

Joshua nodded to the people behind you. "Come. You won't have to say anything, just don't leave my side, okay?"

You quickly understood and grabbed his hand again, which he took proudly as he got close to some guys. Joshua was quick to strike up friendly conversation with them, and you knew that they were some big producers that specialized in a very specific sound that Midnight Haze was interested in.

As the conversation shifted into a language that you couldn't follow anymore, your mind started to drift and with it, your gaze wandered around the room.

That's how you caught sight of her.

The first thing you noticed was her piercing gaze pointed in your direction. She tried to conceal her looking over the moment you spotted her, and she did this by pretending to be looking at her phone screen.

You thought nothing of it at first, a lot of people tend to stare at Joshua. He finds it easy to catch the attention of the people around almost unwillingly, most of it due to his very presence and crushing beauty.

But the second time you looked, and found her staring again, you weren't so sure she was just starstruck. The hair on your nape prickled, and you felt your face contort into a frown but you looked away.

"Nice, I'll let my guys know," you heard Joshua say. "Thank you."

He turned to you and exhaled. "That went well, didn't it?"

You nodded robotically.

"You weren't paying attention, right bunny?" he smiled endearingly at you, grazing your cheek with the back of his finger. "We can go now."

"Joshie, is that you?"

You turned over your shoulder to find the girl approaching you and your boyfriend, a bright smile on her pretty face as she stood closer. Now that you could see her clearer, the striking beauty of her face, her high cheekbones and full pink lips that matched the colored contacts on her eyes.

"Thea... hi," he replied slowly.

"I heard you guys were the opening act for the Crimson boys, but wanted to see that for myself," she locked her hands behind her back.

"Yeah, we are," Joshua added and sent you a brief look. "Uh, Thea, this is my girlfriend," he introduced you by name in an awkward manner, almost as if he had forgotten how to handle social encounters completely.

"Oh," she chirped and looked at you. "Hi."

"Hi. Nice to meet you," you smiled through your shyness.

"So, how long are you guys touring for?" she asked, her bright eyes moving up to see Joshua's face.

"We're going for the rest of this tour leg," he pressed his lips in a smile.

Slowly, you gathered that Thea was another singer. You had seen her face before and maybe heard a song or two from her indie rock band.

"That's great!" Thea squealed and you could see that she was being genuine when she added: "I'm happy for you guys."

A fiery wave flooded your tummy when you saw that, but you quickly brushed it away.

"Thanks, Thea."

Her eyes ignored you completely as they roamed on your boyfriend's frame. "I know how hard you worked for this, Joshie. You deserve it."

You slipped your hand out of his grasp quietly, squeezing his arm as if saying, 'I'll leave you guys to talk,' and went to the snack bar to grab a bottle of water. And to get away from the jealousy eating you from the inside.

You didn't register what happened next, and you made an effort to not look over. The heat on your cheeks from the embarrassment was so bad you stalled at the snack bar for longer than you actually needed.

You sat down on the couch with a small sigh. "Hi, there Vernon," you muttered.

"Hi, there," he replied aloofly and then looked up abruptly: "Oh, hi! What are you doing here? I didn't see you before, when did you get here?"

"I watched you open," you explained with a small smile. "It was good, you guys seem to know what you're doing."

Vernon squinted as he smiled at you. "Yeah, we're good actors, so it seems," he joked too.

Before you could handle yourself, your eyes were darting across the room. Joshua was still talking to Thea, an awkward look on his face as he smiled and nodded again, his eyes drifting towards you.

"Ah, don't worry about that," Vernon told you, probably reading the very evident confusion on your face. His sweet brown eyes were inconspicuously looking over at the scene you just ran away from and then he looked back at you.

"I'm not worried," you were quick to put in a smile. "I'm just not big on socializing, that's all."

"Yeah, I get that," he drew in a breath and nodded. "I get your case I mean. It gets tiring."

"Why are you still here? Don't you prefer to be resting back at the hotel?" you inquired, arching an eyebrow.

"The other guys want to go grab some drinks after the show is over," he shrugged. "I don't want to pass that up."

You nodded slowly, pretending to drink from your water bottle to dart another look. You were feeling more controlled now that you had taken a step back from the situation.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, making you look at the screen.

[10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: how did it go? 👀

That drew a smile on your face nearly instantly, you could imagine the curious look on his face as he typed.

[10:29 PM] you: it's going great. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: oof. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: do tell [10:29 PM] you: I'm sitting in the waiting room while he's talking to someone right now. [10:29 PM] Jeongjeong: this mf 🙄 i'm calling rn you hold on.

You answered his call upon the first ring.

"Yes?"

"Oh, grandma, it's so nice to hear you," Jeonghan cooed and then laughed.

"Shut up," you hissed, rolling your eyes.

"Get off your ass and walk out, pretend you can't hear me," he instructed.

You paused. "What, why?" you mumbled and darted a look to your boyfriend, who was still deep in conversation with his friend.

"Just do it, grandma," he scoffed and then gave you a deep chuckle.

"Okay, okay," you conceded, getting up from the black couch and walking towards the door you came from. You laughed at yourself when you even put up the act of being unable to hear the other end of the call, by covering your other ear.

"Are you out of his sight yet?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm in a hallway now," you frowned when a realization dawned on you: "You are a bad influence."

"And you are a pain in my ass. Surprising your stupid boyfriend cost me money, I'm not letting it go to waste," he retorted immediately. "Was he talking to a girl?"

"How did you know?"

"You wouldn't be upset otherwise," he replied with ease. "Now, let's just wait until he takes the bait."

"And then what?" you asked, looking back to the door, to see that it was clear.

"Um, I dunno, lie," you could almost picture him shrugging off.

"I can't just lie to him, Jeonghan," you muttered.

"Well, tell him it was me," he said reluctantly. "Just don't tell him why I called."

"That's called lying by omission," you quipped with a tone of obviousness.

"I know, Einstein," he huffed. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"The biggest asshole I know."

"Huh," he chuckled. "If you weren't my best friend's girl I'd think you're flirting with me right now."

"Can't you come up with a more original response?" you quipped back. "I know you're trying to keep me talking, Han, but that's not going to work."

"Well, you're not helping either. You're awful at pretending," Jeonghan said calmly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is Shua there yet?"

"Answer my question!" you demanded.

"Baby? What's going on?" Joshua called from the other end of the hallway, your stomach dropped and you turned to see your boyfriend approaching you, a worried frown on his face.

"Okay, mission accomplished. Say bye to me and hang up," he directed quietly.

"I gotta go, b-bye," you muttered awkwardly, putting your phone in your back pocket.

Joshua arched his pierced eyebrow. "Everything okay?" he asked, his tone laced with a bit of confusion.

"Yeah, everything is fine," you mumbled with a shrug.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked, his tone coated with ease now and he motioned a hand at you.

You grabbed his hand and started walking beside him back to the waiting room. "Uh, no one," you responded in a faux nonchalant manner.

He stopped abruptly. "Baby," he said firmly, reading your eyes desperately.

"It's nothing, Josh," you gave him an empty smile and to emphasize it, you added a shrug.

Joshua appeared to be pondering over your words for a second. You saw that he still had traces of sweat trickling down the base of his head and onto his neck. You bit down your lower lip.

Your boyfriend straightened when two people passed by, patting him on his shoulder with a, "Nice gig," mentioned. He nodded and pressed his lips in a smile.

"Okay, let's go," he hissed, pulling your hand down the hallway, but turning to a door right before the waiting room. It had a sign that read STOREROOM and pushed the door open, dragging you inside the cramped closet.

It mostly was occupied by guitar cases, mic stands and amp cases. But Joshua found an empty wall where he could corner you, his hands pushing you by the waist until you bumped against the wall.

"Josh," you grabbed one of his wrists when it came up to clench the curve of your waist, his darkened gaze roaming all over your face.

"What's the matter with you, baby?" he asked, a honeyed purr as he leaned closer, the tip of his nose pushing against your own.

"What do you mean?" you breathed anxiously.

Joshua hummed softly as his lips met yours briefly, grazingly. "You walked away from me," he mumbled. "And now you don't want to tell me who you were talking to."

Oh, crap. Should you tell him it was Jeonghan on the phone? His best friend?

"Baby, there's nothing to worry about," you replied, a hand sliding from his shoulder and onto the side of his chest, feeling the buttons of his shirt. "Besides, you were busy talking with your friends. I didn't want to interrupt."

The corner of his mouth raised slightly. "Don't baby me," he growled, pushing your head back by pressing his forehead against yours. "Who were you talking to?"

"No one," you breathed.

"Mmn, right," he purred. "So you were just pretending? To see if I came running, looking for you?"

"Mmmaybe," you cooed, shuddering slightly when you felt his breath caress your lips.

"D'you like to do that?" he gave you a shallow kiss, his lips barely capturing yours.

"Yeah," you mewled, grabbing his face with both hands to kiss him deeply. "I missed you, Josh. Did you miss me?"

"You know I did," he growled, pressing more kisses on your lips. "Like crazy."

"Will you show me, baby?" you mumbled, your voice sounded almost alien to you, a whiny and breathy tone.

"Right here?" he frowned, almost as if he couldn't believe your sudden change in behavior.

"Right here," you nodded.

"Anyone could hear us baby, are you sure?" he inquired, not really looking for an answer, it seemed like he was just taunting you.

"I want this... or do you have something better to do?" you cocked your head to one side looking at him innocently. "Do you still have to tend to your fans?"

Joshua let out a chuckle into your mouth, his hand cupping your cheek as he planted more kisses on your face. "Brat," he whispered before his lips dipped into yours.

Suddenly, your anger and jealousy dissipated, almost as if all you needed were his lips on yours, moving seamlessly, just as all the nights you shared together.

"Are you still on the pill, baby?" he muttered when his hands slid from your waist down to the button of your jeans, undoing it with a sharp tug.

"Yeah," you frowned. "Obviously."

"Mn, why is that obvious?" he inquired, his lips moving to leave a trail of kisses to cheek to the shell of your ear.

"I wanted to be ready for you," you replied in a sing-song pitch.

"Mmn, well that's too bad," his hands dragged your jeans down.

"Why?" you breathed, feeling your brow furrow even deeper.

"I was hoping you weren't," he replied with a smirk. "So I can put a baby in you," he said, just as he kneeled before you.

"Joshua!" you chastised, his smirk turning into a wide cheeky smile.

"Baby," he replied with a small giggle, hooking his fingers on the band of your thong and pulling it down too, so that he could press kisses on your mound, closing his eyes to you before he pulled out his tongue and leave open mouthed kisses on your cunt.

"Mnf," you grabbed the back of his head as he continued to make out with your mound, his hands dragging down your jeans some more, blindly helping you to bring out a leg from your pants.

His tongue slipped between your folds, making a smacking sound with his mouth when he retreated slightly, bringing his pointer and middle finger to part the lips of your pussy to slowly push his tongue against your clit.

You held him by a fistful of dark hair, angling your hips forward so he could have more access with his mouth on your pussy. "Oh, Josh," you moaned with a high pitched tone.

"Do you want me to fuck you right here, baby?" he muttered, lifting his big doe eyes to your own.

Your whole body went ablaze and you instantly nodded without much thought put into it. "Yeah," you breathed out.

Joshua stood up, grabbing your face to angle it for his feathery kisses. "Do you want everyone to know you're mine?"

"Yes," you whispered. "God, yes, Josh."

You automatically searched for his belt, without toying or teasing you loosened it, to then unclasp and unzip his pants. A small chuckle came out of you when you had to untuck the white button up to get to his black boxers.

"I missed you, baby," you mewled, darting a look from the bulge beneath his boxers to his dark eyes.

Joshua let out a soft sigh, his eyes fluttering close when your hand pressed on his clothed hard on. "Missed you too," his voice was barely above a whisper. "You have no idea, bunny."

You pouted at him. "Then why won't you pay attention to me," you whined, your act suddenly broken by a shy smile.

He moved your body on top of a sound amplifier case, the height was just perfect enough for you to sit in, which you did, being forced by his hands searching your thighs to angle you for his body.

"I'm working, baby," he replied shortly, pulling out his hard cock from his briefs, guiding it to your core. "And I told you to wait."

Your hands slid beneath his white button up, gripping his sides tightly as he sank on you in one go. "Umf," you bit down your lip to avoid making more noise.

"Fuck," he whispered, dropping his forehead on yours. "Okay?"

You nodded slightly. "Okay," you breathed, your hands sliding down to his hips to push his boxers down further. "Move, please, Joshua."

He groaned before complying, pushing his hips on you shallowly at first. "God, baby. You're so fucking tight."

You swallowed back a moan, grabbing on his shirt with your fists to search for the buttons blindly, your eyes trained on his.

"Do you want me to put a baby in you, sweetheart?" he asked, not letting go of your sudden confession.

A moan coiled in your throat, making you close your eyes, as his thrusts hit deeply inside you. "Yeah," you mewled, undoing one button at a time. "Want everything with you."

"Mmn," Joshua hummed, pushing his forehead against yours, grazing his lips with yours as he whispered: "Get off the pill."

Your body acted naturally, your legs parting wider for his thrusts, his cock reaching deeper inside you, making you moan lewdly.

"You're not serious," you whispered, parting his white shirt wide to uncover his torso for your view.

"I am," he gasped in your mouth. "I wouldn't joke with this."

"Baby steps, Joshua," you whispered shakily.

"I love you," he responded frantically, grabbing your hips to hold you in place as his thrusts changed in pace, moving faster and deeper against you.

"I love you too," you echoed.

The moan that escaped your mouth reverberated across the small closet, making you gasp and hold onto his shoulders to let him chase his high, his cock ramming inside your walls.

You knew it had to be a quick fuck, so you didn't care if you reached your climax, you were content with the pleasure you got from his cock sliding in and out of you, the faces he made, the soft gasps that left him as he did so.

You leaned back just a bit, angling your cunt for him to fuck open. A lewd whimper bubbled in your chest when he hit a glorious spot inside you, making the features of his face scrunch to muffle a moan.

"Shh," he hissed. "Quiet, baby."

You nodded aloofly, your hands pushing the white button up from his shoulders to uncover more of his beautiful skin to ruin. You first attached your mouth to his, giving him a hungry kiss before dipping your head down on the crook of his neck.

"Fuck," he whispered when you suckled on the sensitive spot of his neck, moving your mouth with a trail of open kisses until you reached his throat.

You sucked on his skin at the base of his throat, delighting on the careless moans that started to leave his mouth now. He didn't relent on the movement of his hips, fucking you with the same deep and controlled pace.

You gritted your teeth, muffling a whimper when the tip of his cock reached a point that made your muscles tighten in response as pleasure took over your body.

"Josh," you mewled, trying to hold onto him, to hold onto reality but your mind was slipping into nothingness, all focus was now on his cock ramming inside you with a deliriously good pace.

"Open your mouth," he growled, and nodded when you gave him a confused look. "Come on."

Before you could do what he asked, his hand came up to your face, using two fingers to open your mouth wide for him. You thought that he would just stick his fingers in your mouth to shut you up. But instead, you watched his lips purse slightly as he spat in your mouth, a low whimper bubbling in your chest.

"Shhh," he smiled menacingly. "Swallow."

You swallowed his spit obediently, closing your mouth but his hand was there to force it open again.

"I didn't tell you to close it again," he purred quietly, sticking his fingers between your lips as he continued to push his cock inside your walls. "Misbehave again and I'll just fuck your mouth, bunny."

Your brows furrowed, and you made a pleading sound.

"You don't want that, right?" he nodded at you and smiled when you pulled your tongue for him to land his spit in before saying: "Good girl."

His spit started to drip down your tongue along with your own drool, beginning to slide down your chin.

"Swallow," he instructed with a low tone and you closed your mouth to do so. "You want my cum inside your pretty cunt, don't you baby?"

You moved your head up and down in sharp nods, a low whimpering moan coming out of you at the sound of that.

"I'm gonna make you a mommy," he gasped, picking up a pace to his thrusts, hitting you deeper, harder.

"Joshua," you gasped, resting your forehead on his shoulder, his button up hanging languidly on his biceps now. "Yes, Josh, please."

His hand shifted from the curve of your waist to the back of your head, while the other just encircled your body so his arm was wrapped around you firmly.

"Fuck, I'm cumming," he groaned when you started sucking love bites below his collarbones. "Are you gonna take it all? So I can put a baby in you?"

You mewled a sound in confirmation, moving your head to face him. "Yeah," you breathed. "Come inside me, Joshua, please."

He sealed his mouth against yours, his thrusts slowing down, languidly fucking his cum inside you with a muffled moan as he kissed you, passionately, breathing erratically with you.

"I love you, baby," he whispered sweetly once he stopped, breathless.

"I love you too, Joshua," you replied in the same manner.

He smiled lazily, his hand moving from the back of your head to cup your cheek. "Let's go to the hotel room. I want to make you feel good too, baby."

You nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," he replied dazedly, his thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek.

"Are you going to head out first?" you asked innocently, legs beginning to tremble at his sides.

You felt his brow furrow. "No," he mumbled. "You want me to do that?"

"You don't care if we're seen coming out like this?"

"Baby, they probably heard us fucking just now," he gave you a hollow chuckle.

A shock of emotions coursed through you, caused by the odd fixation you had by him fucking you in public spaces. It felt exciting, almost shameful, and so very lewd.

"This is very rockstar of you," you laughed shakily.

"You think so?" he gasped tiredly, pushing his eyebrows up.

You were suddenly struck with the overwhelming beauty of his face. His big brown eyes as he also seemed to be lost in the features of your own face.

"Yeah," you whispered with a shy smile.

"Do you like it, sweetheart?" he purred, leaning down to press small kisses in your lower lip.

"You know I do," you breathed. "I like it when you take me anywhere you can."

He smiled softly, you felt his lips stretch as he did so. "Mmn, I might've turned you into a little sex monster."

You laughed out loud, the sound making your boyfriend's smile wider and brighter.

"Lean back baby, I'm pulling out."

You pushed your hands on the amp case, leaning back as he pulled his cock out of you. A shudder shook you when you caught a glimpse of his wet shaft as his hand tucked it back into his black briefs and fixed his pants.

"Don't move," he whispered, kneeling again so he could gather your panties and hook them around your ankle, dragging them up.

You lifted your hips slightly, looking at the focus written in his face as he helped you get dressed. You reached out to arrange his white shirt again, smiling deviously when you didn't button all the way up, leaving his chest uncovered.

Joshua smiled too when he noticed that you had purposefully left his chest uncovered for everyone to see the red love bites you had planted in his skin, between his collarbones, on his throat and between his pecs.

"Let's go," he said, extending a hand out to you.

Joshua led you back into the waiting room, only to tell the other guys that he was returning to the hotel and that he was spending the night with you instead of going out to get drinks.

You noticed the looks you got from different faces, the small smiles and hushed noises they made as you walked out of the room hand in hand with Joshua.

There was a certain feeling you got from the looks—you knew that the fact that Joshua had just fucked you in a storeroom caused a mixture of shame and excitedness in you. But there was something more, the rush you felt because the looks meant that they knew what you did.

The original issue for your jealousy was a long distant thought now. It seemed almost amusing that you didn't care anymore about the reason why you felt jealous.

It wasn't until you saw her again. Thea was looking your boyfriend's way, the moment causing you no emotion at all now. You couldn't read what you saw in her eyes, and you found it alarming that you didn't care at all.

But then you felt his cum dripping out of you, pooling in your panties. Embarrassment warmed your face, feeling it strum in your eardrums as you tried to hide your face, your fingers wrapped around his hand tightening in a knowing gesture.

Joshua turned his head and gave you a brief look. "I know," he muttered. "Let's get out of here, baby."

He interlocked his fingers with yours, leading you down the long hallway and turned down a darker one, at the end you saw the EXIT sign lit in red neon light. It felt as if you and Joshua were walking away from the booming music, leaving it behind on the stage and escaping into the night.

"The hotel where I'm staying is just down the street," Joshua said, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder. "Do you mind walking?"

You smiled and started walking the way he pointed you to, pulling on his arm.

"Do you want me to carry this for you?" he asked sweetly, tugging the strap of your pretty tote bag from your shoulder and you allowed him to carry it on his shoulder.

"Thank you baby," you smiled at the look of your boyfriend carrying your bag for you.

"So," he sighed, a tired smile on his face as he looked down to find your face. "Do you want kids?"

A surge of heat flooded your entire body, sizzling underneath your skin. You casted a look at the night sky. "Having kids is something I definitely haven't planned for, honestly," you frowned with some thought. "So honestly, I don't know. Why?"

You found his eyes again, his gaze had softened and he pouted at you cutely as he hummed, also in a thoughtful way. "You seemed a little eager," he shrugged.

As you rolled your eyes, a shy smile twitched at the corners of your lips as you asked: "And you?"

"Yeah, I'd like to. Some day."

You stopped walking for a moment, making him stop. "Baby, you don't think we're going a little too fast?"

The corners of his mouth raised a little. "You don't think we need to talk about this?" he retorted.

"Of course," you blinked, your stomach twisting when you saw the cute smile crowning his mouth.

"Let's get to the room first then," he muttered softly, running the back of his finger across your cheek.

When you got to the hotel, Joshua told you to wait in the nice waiting area arranged in the lobby and you watched him approach the counter, drawing the gaze from the front lady.

Propping an elbow in the counter, he leaned slightly forward, giving the lady a polite smile as he prompted a conversation which you weren't within earshot to catch. But you saw your boyfriend look in your direction, smiling softly at the front desk lady and your stomach sank slightly when the lady smiled at you and then to him.

You watched the interaction from afar, wondering what was the cause for those looks both Joshua and the lady sent you until he nodded, smiling brightly at her and you were witness to the power that smile held, because the woman behind the counter looked speechless for a second.

He pushed himself off the counter, tapping once with his hand and then turned to you, a cheeky grin on his face and then he sat down next to you.

"What was all that?" you asked curiously.

"I had to arrange for a room for us," he muttered close to you and grabbed your hand, interlocking his fingers with yours and placing the laced hands on his lap. "And kind Claire there is going to help us with that. Now we have to wait for a bit, baby."

The woman named Claire seemed to perk up at the sound of Joshua mentioning her name. She smiled politely and resumed working on the monitor in front of her.

You sighed and leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling his warmth and catching the scent of his cologne, the freshness of it, the smell of his skin, all mixed up. It made you feel something deep in your being, like being punched in the gut with the realization that you are way into deep now.

"You're tired baby," Joshua said softly when he heard you sigh and took the hand he was already holding to kiss each of your knuckles. "We shower and then we go to bed, does that sound alright?"

From the corner of your eye you caught the sight of the lady smiling at you and Joshua, it was a somewhat sweet smile, as if endearing.

"Don't we need to talk about something, babe?" you answered, lifting your head to meet his sweet brown eyes.

He blinked, as if pushing the matter away. "It can wait," he muttered, bringing a hand to cup your chin. "We can talk about it tomorrow, if you'd like."

"Mr. and Ms. Hong," a polite male voice called, approaching you from the other end of the lobby. "Your room is ready for you."

"Thank you," Joshua replied, getting up from the couch and tugging your arm softly.

Your stomach twisted upon suspecting what had happened at the front desk and you eyed your boyfriend, curiosity in your eyes which he tried to ease by giving you a gentle squeeze to your hand.

You entered the elevator and stood near Joshua, who was humming to a song as he toyed with the keycard to the room. It was a song you didn't know, and you started guessing that it was what Midnight Haze was working at the moment.

"This might be fancier than I expected," Joshua muttered under his breath when you both reached the floor and walked down the hall to a double door. He checked the keycard again with a question written on his face and slided it on the sensor.

"Joshua, what did you tell the lady?" you inquired when he opened the doors to the recently cleaned hotel room.

"Just the truth," he hummed as he closed the door, he read the disbelief in your gaze and he coughed. "I just told her that you came here to surprise me and I needed a bigger room, and... told her that my beautiful wife needed some rest after her long flight, that's all."

Your entire body beamed with ecstasy and adoration. It seemed endearing to you the way Joshua used the word wife to refer to you. He loved it, almost as if it were real.

The room was large, the first thing you saw on entering was the small round table, surrounded by a couple of chairs, followed by a living room, a fake fireplace wall served as a divider to the bedroom, where you could catch a glimpse of the large king-size bed.

The living room was framed by large floor-to-ceiling windows, the curtains were drawn and you could see that there was a balcony overlooking the city skyline.

"I have to go down to get my suitcases and I'll be back," Joshua informed you and left after you nodded in confirmation. You took this time to hop in the shower, the warm water washing the alertness from you and when you came out, you were feeling ready for bed.

You wrapped your body in one of the bathrobes and walked out of the bathroom. The bed looked so inviting that you couldn't resist but to lie in it, curling yourself into a ball and you fought it at first but sleep took you in quickly.

That was until you felt a pair of strong arms lifting you gently and tucking you underneath the heavy covers. Joshua's hard and warm body huddled with yours from behind, burying his nose in your hair to breathe in slowly.

"I missed you so much," he whispered. You realized, as you came out of your slumber that he said this thinking you wouldn't hear.

But you grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly before you turned to face him. "I missed you too," you muttered sweetly at him.

"Did I wake you up?" he whispered, pushing your hair from your face with his hand. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," you breathed, bringing a hand to his nape, feeling his long hair, wet from the shower he just took. Joshua blinked slowly, keeping his eyes focused on your face. "Come here."

You used the hand that was already on his nape to bring him for your lips slipping between his as he reciprocated the slow, tender kiss. He moaned in your mouth when your tongue lapped on his lower lip.

Next thing you knew, he was pushing you on your back, pinning you against the soft mattress with his semi-naked body. Your hands immediately attached to his sides, feeling the hard muscles of his lats tense up under your touch.

The kiss deepened, urgency setting in, and now you were the one moaning when his lips littered your jawline with kisses and down your throat. Wide awake now, you felt his fingers search for the knot of your robe, tugging at it lose for him to have access to your naked body.

"Baby," he growled in your mouth, when your fingers hooked in the band of his boxers, the tip of his nose nudged against yours, his hot breath caressing your lips.

"Take me, Joshua," you mewled, pushing the black stretchy fabric down to find his cock with your hand, gently pumping him as you felt it harden on your grasp.

"Let me make love to you, baby," he whispered softly, pinching your chin with his thumb and pointer finger. You nodded and his lips stretched into a smile.

The rest of the night was something you only thought possible within your dreams. Joshua kept his body pressed on yours as he made love to you, rolling his hips slowly against yours, kissing you until he had to gasp for air, his touch so gentle you swallowed back sobs.

His face contorted slightly when he saw your eyelashes wet in tears, but he kept repeating, over and over, that he loved you. He wanted to be yours forever, he wanted you as his wife—he didn't care how soon it was for him to say it.

You fell asleep afterwards, your body laced with his, subconsciously looking for him if either of you drifted apart on the bed. You could feel soft kisses pressed on your shoulder and on your hair. Almost as if even in his sleep he couldn't keep his hands and lips to himself.

The next morning, you woke up to Joshua planting a kiss on your forehead, then the smell of his fresh cologne dragged you out of slumber in a second. "Where are you going?" you muttered.

Joshua was just walking to the door when he heard your voice. "I have a recording session today," he sat down on the bed, grabbing your hand to kiss your knuckles. "We can do something tonight. Go on a date. Would you like that, baby?"

"Yeah," you whispered, still drowsy from the long night. "I'd love that."

Joshua smiled fondly at you, leaning close to you and left a feathery kiss on your lips. "A date it is, then," he whispered before getting up and leaving the room.

So instead of going out on a date, you arranged with the hotel staff to bring a tablecloth, cutlery and wine glasses, and went out to buy candles and a bottle of wine. You set the table with candles and checked the hotel menu for something to order.

But time passed and you waited, sitting all pretty in a dressing gown, hiding the set you had bought for the occasion; which had to be changed into a large T-shirt of Joshua's when he failed to come back at the time he said he would. No phone call, no text to explain himself.

You drank a glass of wine alone and felt miserable again. Blowing out the candles, you went to lie on the big bed and decided to go to sleep. That was until you heard the faint beeping of the door, followed by noises from the living room that made you jump out of bed.

The faux marble tiles were freezing cold under your bare feet as you made your way to the small living room. You had been woken up from a very light sleep in the middle of the night when you heard the soft beeping of the door to your hotel room.

The lonely lamp in one corner of the room had been turned on, so now the room was provided by a soft orange glow on the man sprawled on the black sofa, his legs spread wide apart.

Your boyfriend had his head tilted back, an arm on the headrest, the other over his torso, between his legs there was a short glass of whiskey held by his long fingers. He didn't notice you coming in, and you assumed that he was so tired that he might be falling asleep already.

Walking silently up to him and once you were standing between his knees, you noticed his eyes were open and he was staring mindlessly at the ceiling.

"Hi, baby," he croaked with a low raspy voice as he leaned forward to take a generous gulp of whiskey and set it aside on the coffee table.

"You could've called," you reproached not a second later.

You heard him sigh. "I know. I'm sorry, bunny," he replied, avoiding your eyes. But then a sigh bubbled in his chest when he caught sight of the half empty wine bottle on the small round table, and the lonely glass of wine beside it.

"You're not invited for my next late night dinner," you told him, driving his gaze from the wasted candles on the table to your eyes, you pouted cutely at him, letting him know that you were joking.

"Baby, I'm sorry," he blinked and looking up to lock eyes with you made his look bigger, glinting on the glow of the lamp.

Then he grabbed your hand that was dangling at your side and took it to his lips, kissing your knuckles lightly.

Now that he was looking at you, taking your whole frame in, he noticed you sported one of his clean t-shirts. It didn't fit you properly, obviously, since it was a few sizes too big even for his own body. So the length covered up to your mid thigh and the sleeves reached your elbows.

"Were you sleeping before I got here, sweetheart?" he inquired with a soft tone.

"I was snoozing for a bit. Waiting for you, actually," you muttered back just as he tugged the hand he was still holding, pulling you forward.

You understood what he wanted, so you pressed one knee on the couch just beside him, and then the other to sit on top of him on his lap. His hands circled your waist, giving you a firm squeeze.

"Please forgive me, baby," he insisted for a third time.

The dim lighting of the hotel suite let you appreciate the beautiful features of his face, his big brown eyes, his plump lips, the eyebrows that knitted ever so slightly when you didn't come up with a response.

"I know work is important, babe," you replied slowly. "But at least let me know when our plans change. Deal? Texting me takes you twenty seconds."

You said this while one of your hands started brushing his soft dark hair away from his eyes. You did this almost absentmindedly, as if your hands had a mind on its own. Joshua blinked a few times, but his eyes didn't deter away from your face.

You could tell that he loved it when you reprimanded him like this, the seriousness you would take, but still delivering your sentences with a gentle tone.

"I forgive you. But next time I won't be too forgiving," you told him, smiling playfully.

"Thank you, baby," he smiled too. But it was a small smile, trying to mask the tiredness on his eyes.

But before you could say something more, your boyfriend pressed his lips against yours. Softly at first, almost apologetically. As if trying to test you for any pause or reluctance before his lips dipped between yours.

You tasted the whisky on his tongue once it slipped inside your mouth, his hands flatly placed on your thighs, his fingers digging on your skin.

The black and white plaid shirt he wore felt soft under your skin as you slid your forearms over his shoulders to lace your hands behind his nape.

The rough pads of his fingers grazed your thighs then he moved his hands to your lower back, pushing you forward to make you sit on him fully.

"Josh," you whispered with an unspoken question lingering in your lips, pulling apart from his face to take a good look at him.

The tiredness lingered in the features of his face, but the glint on his eye had taken a darkness to it, a certain hunger you knew too well about him.

"I like how you look with my stuff on," he muttered, it sounded like a breathy growl, almost like the way he sounded in the mornings when he woke up.

"Mm, yeah?" you whispered, tilting your head to one side as your fingers started toying with the hair on the back of his head. "Would you like to see me without it?"

His tongue pushed on his lower lip slowly as he nodded with his head. "Yeah," his voice was now below a murmur. "I'd love that, baby."

You smiled at the sound of that. His hands grabbed the baggy t-shirt on his fists and lifted it up as you also raised your arms for him to take it off you and threw it on the side, leaving you with your boyshort panties only.

"Mm," he hummed happily as he dipped his head to kiss you, a hand sliding on the side of your neck while the other traveled from your thigh to the small of your back.

Then your fingers moved to get the buttons of his plaid shirt, undoing each quite hastily.

"Slow down, baby," he growled into your mouth.

"No," you mumbled back.

"Why are you rushing? We have all night."

"You stood me up," you sulked slightly, even if you had forgiven him, you wouldn't let him off the hook just yet. "Let me have this."

That made Joshua smile, letting you have your fun undoing the buttons of his black and white plaid shirt, which was not buttoned all the way to the neck, only halfway because he wore a black long-sleeve underneath.

Once the shirt was off his shoulders, your hands cupped his face fully, palms pressed to his cheeks as you kissed him with hunger. A small laugh was muffled in your mouth when your hands moved onto his black t-shirt, probably laughing at your impatience.

"You're so hot," you breathed, not caring how needy you sounded. A sigh left your lips, running your hands over his lean chest, over the angry red hickeys you made the night prior in the middle of the storeroom quickie.

His hand captured your chin, caressing your soft skin with his calloused fingertips. The sensation made you shudder a bit.

"C'mere," he motioned you over to kiss you fervently, making you moan in his mouth when his hands roamed all over your body and stopping to cup your butt, pushing you slowly so you could grind on his crotch.

You held onto the headrest with your hands just before you could push your clothed pussy on the growing bulge in his jeans, moving your hips so that your clit was angled to the rough fabric of his clothing.

With a soft moan that landed on his lips, you sneaked a look down his body, his naked torso, the hickeys on his chest, the messy look on his hair, the lust-lidded eyes when you looked back at his face.

"Bunny," he muttered in your mouth, patting the side of your thigh softly. "Get up."

Before you could stop yourself, you obeyed all too willfully, removing yourself from his lap. His hands were immediately working on removing your panties, sliding them down your legs and you stepped out of them when they fell to your ankles.

His hands were seizing you by your hips just when you started to move onto his lap again. "Stay still, baby," he instructed, leaning his head to litter kisses across your tummy.

"Josh. No teasing," you urged when you felt his tongue brush on the spot below your belly button, your hands cupped the back of his head, following his trail down to your mound.

"Shh, don't get bratty now," he said, his voice honeying over the warning.

"Bratty?" you repeated, trying not to squirm on his grasp when his lips kissed the lowest point of your mound, your sensitive skin reacting with his delicate touch.

"You heard that right," he bit back softly against your skin.

"You stood me up," you whined, your fingers curling on his soft black hair when you felt his teeth grazing your sensitive skin. "I'm not being bratty," you put emphasis over the last word, mocking it.

"I thought you had forgiven me, baby," he lifted his head from the apex of your thighs, raising his pierced eyebrow at you.

You brushed his bangs from his forehead. "That doesn't mean my feelings aren't hurt."

He smiled slowly, totally telling on your intentions. "What do I have to do to get your complete forgiveness?"

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic intonation. "Just don't do it again," you muttered and then nodded back. "Keep going, Josh."

One hand slid down from your waist to caress your leg, you could feel the worn pads of his fingers from playing guitar the whole day.

"Mm," he hummed thoughtfully, his eyes following your face down to your whole body. "Where is this attitude coming from? You've been really bratty since last night."

You saw the glint in his eye again, he was amused by your small tantrum. It was clear to both of you that the reason didn't stem from being stood up by him. There was more.

You shook your head. "'s nothing," you mumbled.

"After this, will you tell me?" he asked and you could tell he wasn't playing anymore.

"Yeah. I will, Josh," you reassured with a small smile.

His eyes read your face with a glint of adoration in them that made your stomach twist, he blinked slowly at you, releasing a short sigh. "I need you so bad, baby," he muttered and leaned in again to kiss your tummy.

"Did you have a bad recording session?" you finally caught on.

Joshua immediately groaned, but softly, making you feel his breath brushing against your lower tummy. "I don't wanna talk about it right now," he muttered. "But yeah. It didn't come out as I expected."

The pad of your thumb brushed over the pierced eyebrow, making his eyelids flutter a bit. "Are you upset about it?"

His hand shifted on your waist just slightly. "No, baby," he frowned, he sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Well, only at myself."

"Would you… like to take it out on me?" your voice dropped to a whisper.

Rare were the times when you mustered such boldness. But ever since your bond with Joshua started to get stronger, the innate shyness revolving around intimate things had started to fade.

"No, bunny," he mumbled, discarding the idea by nodding his head to the side.

"I mean it," you insisted, now tugging at his earlobe with your fingers, toying a little with the piercings on the shell of his ear. "I want it."

Joshua licked his lips briefly, contemplating your proposition again with a calmed darkness in his doe eyes. "Are you sure, baby?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't."

He read you just a moment before he closed his eyes, leaning his face forward to press his lips in your bare tummy once again. "You know what to do, right?"

Your hand went back to cup the back of his head. "Yes," you whispered, referring to using your safeword whenever necessary.

"That's my girl," he growled softly against your skin, his hot breath making you shudder.

"Mm-mmph," you hummed briefly, letting yourself close your eyes as your boyfriend's grip on your hips tightened a bit.

Joshua hummed after you, leaving a trail of kisses down from your belly button to your mound again, as if that was all he wanted before you interrupted.

"My sweet girl," he whispered almost lovingly against your skin.

He motioned your leg over, making you step on the black couch. Now your leg was angled perfectly for him to dip his head in, pushing his tongue flush in between your pussy lips, as if he were making out with your cunt sloppily, noisily.

"Joshua," you moaned, your fingers tangling on his long hair and holding onto his locks.

He only gave you a low hum in response, shoving his tongue against your clit, teasing it with open kisses. His grip tightened when you squirmed, his fingers digging into your muscle, the hand was located on your hip circled back to cup your butt while the other kept your leg angled open for him.

"God, Josh!" you squealed when he grazed your clit with his teeth gently, but the sensation was overwhelming.

"Hm?" he raised his eyes to match yours, shifting to litter your mound with kisses.

"Too much," you mumbled sheepishly.

"Is it bad?" he asked with a hint of concern.

You shook your head slowly, feeling a rush of warmth tingling on your cheeks.

"If it feels good don't stop me," he replied gruffly, arching his eyebrow at you. "I thought you knew this already, baby."

"Yeah. Sorry," you breathed.

The palm that was firmly placed on your butt lifted only to give you a gentle pat. "Get on all fours, bunny," he muttered and nodded to the chaise longue close to the wide windows that led to the balcony.

As you propped up your knees on the black velvet chaise, you looked up to find your reflection painted on the glass window, a thought crossed your mind—your boyfriend was being soft with you. Granted, he had admitted already that he's into harder stuff than what he has done with you. But this was, to say the least, upsetting.

"Are you holding back?" you asked as soon as you lowered your hands on the cushions.

"No, I'm not," he replied simply, making you cast a look at the man that was still wearing his jeans, torso in full display.

His hair was so long now that his bangs reached the dark circles under his eyes, shadowing his beautiful doe eyes.

"I think you are," you teased, turning to the reflection on the glass now smiling to yourself. "Don't hold back, Josh. I'm not going to break."

The metallic sound of the buckle of his belt made you turn your head to see your boyfriend again. Joshua rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly, he didn't seem annoyed, but the flat tone on his next words made you rethink.

"Stand up straight, wrists on your back."

You had a good view of what happened behind you as you stood back onto your knees, placing your wrists on your back as your boyfriend closed in on you, biting his lower lip as he looped his belt around your wrists.

A low grunt coiled in his throat when he tightened the belt on your wrists, puncturing another hole in it to avoid it unbuckling. He gave it a harsh tug before his eyes zeroed on your face through the reflection on the glass door.

You saw him lean in, so that his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. "Will you be good for me, bunny?"

"Yeah," you whispered shakily, anticipating what Joshua would do next.

"Now bend over," he instructed after he kissed your ear softly.

"But–"

"Don't worry, I got you," he tightened his grip on your bound wrists. "Bend over."

You gulped hard, releasing a nervous sigh before you bent over, steady at first until your face was some eight inches from the seat, not falling onto your nose all due to your boyfriend helping you ease the side of your face against the velvet cushion of the seat.

"I wanted to take my time with you tonight," you heard him sigh in disapproval. "But you had to be so impatient."

"It's not my fault," you whispered. "You haven't been here and I just wanted to—fuck!" you yelped and almost stumbled when his hand came down to spank your ass suddenly.

"I didn't say you could talk back," he ran his hand over the tingling area, cooing softly: "Talking back, throwing tantrums at me. You know what happens when you misbehave. Right, bunny?"

You closed your eyes and nodded. "Yes," you replied.

His hands grabbed you by the hips. "Open your legs," he said softly and you carried out his instruction, widening your stance, gaining more stability to avoid tumbling on the chaise.

Now you were quite completely submitted to him. Your fingers tightened on the leather material of his belt, your wrists with little to no space to budge on the makeshift bondage. Ass up, knees wide apart, face pressed to the seat of the velvet chaise.

"You look so good like this, bunny," you heard him mutter behind you, his hand caressing your lower back lightly, beneath your bound hands, making your eyelids flutter under the tingling sensation.

"Do you want to record this?" you replied mutedly, trying to keep it in you how much you liked to be subdued by his control.

"No," you felt the chaise shift under the weight of one of his knees pressing to the edge. "I have a better idea, bunny. If you behave."

You tried to move slightly to get a view of him on the glass door. He had lost the jeans and was now wearing black briefs only. Propping one knee behind you, your boyfriend was looking at your body, as if trying to decide what to do first before he leaned over you, then you saw one hand press beside you.

Then his lips were on the back of your exposed neck, his fingers moving your hair to the side as he littered your back with wet kisses, slowly, you even felt his breath and when he licked his own lips to kiss you again, knowing well that it was a sensitive area for you.

You squirmed slightly, groaning when your skin awoke with a violent shudder.

"Don't move, bunny," he muttered with his honeyed voice, pressing his lips on your shoulder blade. "If you do, I won't release your hands," he conditioned.

You bit your lip before you could scoff at that. Something told you he wasn't in the mood for more of your taunting. "Okay," you breathed, bracing yourself for more of his delicate kisses.

Joshua left a trail of kisses until he reached your hands, it was then that he moved back, grabbing your hips with his hands and you let out a sharp breath when you felt a kiss on one of your buttocks.

You heard him hum softly against your skin, the reflection on the glass showed your boyfriend on one knee on the floor, his hands traveling from your hips down to cup your ass as his lips kissed the sensitive spot beside your cunt.

You screwed your eyes shut when Joshua ran his tongue between your folds, tasting how aroused you were from the situation alone, from his taunting kisses, from his entire demeanor over you.

"Fuck-k," you squeaked out when he groaned against your sopping core, dipping his tongue in, his hands firmly grabbing you as he pushed his wet muscle against your entrance.

But you dare not move, even if you felt like you could. You let out a raw moan against the black velvet as his tongue ran flatly across your folds, giving your cunt broad and generous strokes, not committing to one motion at all, eating you out sloppily.

"Joshua," you moaned, trying to get as much pleasure from the teasing. "Fuck—babe, please," you whimpered pathetically.

He hummed again, the sound interrupted only by the smacking noise coming from his lips giving your cunt open and deep kisses. You realized then that he didn't seek your pleasure out of this, he was only trying to draw out your arousal, to prep you for something else.

"Please," you begged for more, for something you could use to come.

His tongue glided from your clit, up to your entrance drinking your juices before he continued up, ignoring your whimpers, fingertips digging into your flesh as he gave you a soft, slow stroke with his tongue around your hole, leaving a prickling sensation over, so overwhelming you felt your whole body try to tense and to recoil from feeling good.

"Remember what I said," he told you with a low tone, immediately reading your body language.

You gave him a nod, even if you weren't sure he'd see it. If it felt good, there was no need to stop it. So you tried to relax, breathing in as his tongue lapped again around the tender and very sensitive area, making your fingers curl around the belt you were still restrained by, the feeling so arousing like you've never felt before.

The sensation was too much, it felt undeniably good, a wave of sweet pleasure coursing through your whole body. You felt your pussy throb at each lap of his tongue, stroking slowly around your hole, making it go lax ever so slightly.

The room had fallen silent, the only thing you could hear was his low hums against your skin, the wet sound from his mouth every time he gave another lap over your sensitive ridges with his tongue. Even the voice in your mind had died.

He kissed one of your glutes again, moving one hand to tease your hole with the tip of his finger.

"Josh," you moaned weakly, pressing your face onto the seat cushion to wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth.

"You have the prettiest ass," he hummed entrancingly. "Want me to buy you plugs?"

He pushed one finger in, you screwed your eyes shut again and pressed your face plush against the seat to avoid squirming.

"Mm-mmph," you moaned in affirmation loud enough for him to hear.

"You're being so good for me right now," he cooed softly, dragging his finger out slowly. "Almost forgot how bratty you were before this. You like that, bunny?"

"Mm-mmph," you managed to nod again.

"Want me to fuck you like this?" he asked and you moved your head to peak at the reflection.

"Please, Josh," you gasped at the mere thought.

You saw his reflection rise to his feet. "Without prepping you first, baby? You're not even taking my whole thumb right now," he pointed humbly. "Do you think you can take me?"

You paused, feeling his thumb push in and out gently, making you groan again. The mild penetration was enough to make you feel pleasure, you tried to imagine the same thing but instead of his thumb, with his cock and you immediately gulped.

"Mm? I need an answer baby," he pressed, his tone playful, you caught a shadow of a smile through the reflection.

"Just fuck me," you blurted impatiently with a mewling tone. "Please, Joshua. Fuck me."

"Mmm, you think you deserve it?" he titled his head to one side. "I don't think so."

"Please—I'm being good," you gasped when he pushed his thumb deeper.

"I think we can agree that you need more prepping, baby," he tutted, pulling his thumb out, making you gasp at the loss of stimulation.

"I'll do anything, please, just–"

Then you felt his grip on the belt and gave it a small tug. "I'm pulling you up, ready?"

You got up on your knees with his help, the motion almost made you feel lightheaded but came back to your senses rapidly when you felt the belt loose around your wrists. Joshua threw the belt on the floor.

Your wrists were marked around where the belt held you tight, but you paid little heed to it, your hands were now free to tend to the bulge beneath his boxers, which you yanked down all too excitedly.

A shudder tore through your body when you saw his hard cock spring out of his boxers, his pinkish red tip dripping with precum. You instinctively reached out with a hand to touch, but your boyfriend seized it quickly.

"Josh? What are you doing?" you asked when he dragged you to the balcony, sliding the glass door open to welcome in a cold midnight breeze into the hotel suite.

"Do you still want me to fuck you in public? For everyone to know?" he asked, as you both stepped out to the balcony, wholly naked.

Your eyes locked with his briefly and you have him half a nod, a question lingering on the tip of your tongue. But you concluded that this was his intention all along when you first prompted him to record you and he declined.

"Hands on the railing, bunny," he instructed.

You gasped when he pressed the front of his body to your back, his hard cock wedging in your butt as you did what he told you, holding the cold metal railing of the balcony with a big breath.

The city was buzzing with nightlife, as you would expect during a friday night, the hotel was located at the heart of the city too, so you were quite literally facing another big building, you could see each light turning on as another was snuffed simultaneously.

"Nervous, bunny?" he asked in your ear, grabbing your hips and pulling them to his, and you bent over slightly for him, the movement felt almost natural. "I'll take that as a no," he muttered with a chuckle.

All the teasing, stimulating using his mouth and fingers did so that you were aching for more, your body pulsated for more. So when you felt the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance, you almost considered pleading with him to stop teasing you.

But as if reading your mind, he slid inside you in one go to his hilt with a low moan from his part and without any preamble, he started thrusting. He gave you no pause for you to adjust, to take in the sheer size of his cock stuffing you up so good it made you gasp.

"Fuck," you groaned through clenched teeth when his cockhead immediately found that glorious spot inside you.

"Do you like this, baby?" he muttered and you nodded with your head, biting your lower lip to avoid being heard. "Why so quiet now?"

You couldn't think of a good response at that, your mind going blank from the pleasure coursing through your body.

Joshua leaned over you, pressing his chest to your back without relenting on his deep thrusts. "Don't shy away now, baby," he grunted against your shoulder. "Wanna hear those pretty sounds you make for me."

He adjusted himself again pushing one hand against the small of your back, so you were now fully bent for him, tits hanging over the balcony railings, still holding with your hands. Your face burning up when you caught sight of the balconies below you, the cars far down on the street. The vulnerability you felt at that moment urged you to hide, to cover up.

But there was no shying away now, not when your boyfriend read your silence so well.

"Joshua!" you gasped loudly when he started plowing on you, the sound of his front slamming on your butt the only thing filling your ears.

"That's it, baby," you heard him say through a sigh making you turn to cast a look over your shoulder.

His darkened eyes were set on you, on your body bouncing on his hard and deep thrusts. Your boyfriend showed you a fucked out grin when he caught your eye looking over. Blinking slowly, you saw his throat bobbing when he swallowed back a moan. "Fuck, baby, hear that? You're gonna have an audience."

"Fuckfuckfuck," you screwed your eyes shut when you heard voices on the balcony directly below you.

You clamped down a hand on your mouth, trying to muffle your cries of pleasure as your boyfriend continued plowing on you with little care if you were seen or heard.

"No, no, no, don't hold back, bunny," he told you now. Then he raised a hand and brought it down on your ass harshly, drawing out a moan from his part when your walls clenched around him.

"Fuck!" you yelped loudly, the sound of your voice quieted down the fuss going on the balcony below. You held the rails with your hands. "Josh, please."

"You wanted me to fuck you like this, bunny," he reminded you, noticing the same thing you did. "Now everyone knows you're mine."

"God, fuck," you blurted, keeping an eye over the balcony in case someone thought of looking up, then you would need to hide.

"I want to hear you bunny," he groaned breathlessly, spanking you one more time, firmer this time, making your walls squeeze around him and you knew he liked it too when you heard a low guttural moan escape him.

"Arrgh, Joshua!" you cried in a high-pitch tone, your eyes welling up with tears, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure coursing through you.

"That's right, baby. It's me who's making you feel like this," you heard him grunt slightly.

"It's all you, Josh," you gasped, trying to close your eyes to the city around you, but the exposedness kept you alert.

"D'you like this baby?" he purred with a hollow laugh when you gave him a big nod with your head. "Yeah? My baby likes being fucked in the open, for everyone to see."

"Mmph, yeah, I do—fuck," you mewled out, but then you felt him tease around your hole again. A finger pushing in, slowly at first, but deeper this time, sending you a hot wave of pleasure. "Fuck, Josh. Babe, I–"

"Don't hold back," he reminded you, his voice strained and you knew he was close too.

You could hear hushed voices coming from the balcony below and muffled laughs between the slapping of Joshua's skin against yours. You tried so hard to contain yourself but couldn't under the amount of pleasure building on your body, making you gasp and mewl out incoherent, half thoughts.

"Joshua, I can't," you gasped. "I'm so—fuck, babe! So close," you blurted, your voice raw.

"Gonna come, baby? You're gonna come on this cock, hm?" he asked tauntingly and you didn't need to see him to know that he was smiling.

Your body was immersed in pleasure like never before. The feeling of his finger pushing gently in and out of your hole added a pressure to your release building up inside you.

"Yes! God, yes, 'm so close, Josh," you sighed a moan.

"Come, baby," he whispered impatiently now. "Come all over my cock."

Then the tension in your body snapped, then it was all sweet, sweet pleasure as you came undone, back arching, jaw going slack. "Josh, god, fuck, Joshua!" you cried out lewdly, your voice rang hoarse, breaking through the night.

"Fuck, I'm cumming too," he said through a breath, then a guttural moan followed, his fingertips digging on your hip so hard you knew it would leave marks.

But his hips continued to slam hard against you, pushing his cock deeper inside your pulsating walls as he came with you, fucking you through your long and very loud orgasm. You heard his raw moans over yours, felt his cum dripping down your thigh right after.

The thrusts came to a halt sloppily and gently removed his thumb from your hole when he felt you come down from your high. You had your eyes closed but you could hear the faint sounds of your little audience below, the hushed exchange of comments and small laughs.

Joshua's arms came to wrap your body, pulling you off the balcony rails in one sudden movement. He pressed you tightly against him, peppering your shoulder with kisses, you felt him breathing hard on your neck, prickling your skin.

"I love you, I love you," he whispered in your ear.

"I love you too, Joshua," you replied, leaning your head back on his shoulder.

"You did so good, bunny," he sighed before kissing your hair.

You closed your eyes weakly, the buzz of the city seemed to die when you caught the sound of his hard breaths, the stutter of his heartbeat vibrating against your body.

"Will you tell me what happened at the session?" you asked in a hum, lowering your head to kiss the forearm wrapping you by your shoulders.

"Yeah. Will you tell me what's going on with you?" he asked in return, still panting hard in your ear.

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah."

"In the shower?" he added tentatively.

"Definitely."

"Let's go," he mumbled, still breathless.

But he pulled out and motioned you over to his arms, which carried you bridal-style to the bathroom. Joshua didn't see you smiling happily at him, but you could see his features had relaxed considerably, his whole demeanor had changed.

"I was upset with you," you mumbled out the words slowly with a sigh as he lowered you onto the floor.

"Was?" your boyfriend inquired before turning to turn the shower on, sticking out a hand to test the water temperature.

"Was," you reassured, nodding your head.

"Why?"

"I felt like I made an effort to come visit you, but you haven't had time for me at all," you replied, trying to mask your hurt feelings under a shrug.

Joshua held out a hand for you as he stepped into the shower and you followed him.

"I didn't stand you up on purpose," he muttered and then pouted. "You know that, right baby? I was busy."

"I know, babe," you conceded softly. "Maybe it's time for us to accept that we're going to be busier than before."

"We'll manage," he asserted, grabbing one of your hands to kiss your knuckles, to then brace your arm over his shoulder, and you did the same with your other arm, encircling his neck loosely.

"I know we will, Josh," you pressed your lips in a smile.

"Is that it? Or is there something else that made you upset?" he pried, reading your face.

You paused, then shook your head slightly. "It's nothing," you whispered, using one hand to push his wet bangs back from his forehead.

"Baby," he mumbled reproachfully. "We promised we would tell each other everything."

"I'm just being dumb. I swear it's nothing serious," you insisted.

"If that's the case, might as well tell me, right?"

You rolled your eyes, he was right. "I felt a little jealous," you muttered reluctantly, avoiding his eyes.

"What? Why? When?" he blurted and you darted a look back to his face to see him frowning.

"Last night at the backstage," you started. "The friend you introduced to me last night, Thea."

"What about her, baby?" he smiled softly, the expression on his face changed from confusion to amusement.

"She was cute. And you seemed to be pretty close too," you added sheepishly, trying to hold his gaze but it felt nearly impossible.

"I barely even said anything to her," Joshua chuckled briefly, but not in a condescending way, his eyes looking at you fondly.

"But I felt something, okay?" you replied impishly, trying not to let your feelings show.

"Bunny, she is an old friend," he explained with a shrug that denoted his easiness about the subject: "Whatever happened between us, happened years ago. It means nothing to me."

You pushed your eyebrows up. "So something did happen between you?"

"A long time ago," he showed you a small smile, lowering his gaze so his eyes seemed bigger. "It was just sex, nothing more."

"Are you sure?" you mumbled.

"Yeah, baby," he replied shortly, wrapping one arm around your waist. "Completely sure."

You were slowly connecting the dots, reading the glint in his dark eyes. You pushed a hand on his forehead, combing his long dark hair back. "Are you turned on by this, babe?"

Joshua nodded, running the tip of his tongue on his lower lip before sinking his teeth down on it.

You couldn't deny that you also felt aroused by his reassurance over you. You felt how much he wanted you, and you could see it in his eyes.

"Why were you jealous, bunny?" he asked, his half-lidded eyes reading the features of your face. "I barely even held a conversation with her for a minute."

You darted a look down on his body, only to find out that your boyfriend was hard already, his erection pressing on your lower tummy the moment he pulled you to his warm and wet body.

"Mm," you huffed, starting to feel a little lightheaded, the warmth, the steam, his amused eyes on you. "I just was. I didn't like the way she looked at you," you mumbled out.

Joshua reached down, a hand curving over your thigh and pulled it up to wrap around his hip, propping one foot over the rim of the bathtub, so your thigh was resting comfortably. Now with his hand freed, he wasted no time, grabbing his cock and guiding it to your core, sheathing himself inside you with a low moan from your part.

"Feel that?" he growled, resting his forehead on top of yours, droplets of water falling into your parted mouth. "You drive me crazy. No one has ever made me feel this way. No one but you."

Your eyelids fluttered uncontrollably, warm water ran down your faces but you couldn't tear your eyes from your boyfriend's face, his beautiful lips.

"Joshua," you moaned, holding onto his shoulders for more support as you started moving your hips in a gentle sway, back and forth, not hard nor fast. Just feeling him, completely hard inside you.

"I'm here, baby," he muttered with a ragged sigh. "I'm yours."

Adrenaline, dopamine, whatever it was, ran in a frenzied rush across your body, shocking you over how deeply fascinated the sound of those words made you feel.

"Mine," you replied entrancingly.

He nodded with a small movement. "No one else's. You're the only woman I want. The woman I love."

A broken moan escaped you and you pressed your crotch down to his hilt, unable to roll your hips to your own satisfaction. Joshua noticed your struggle, his hands gripping your hips tightly, forcing you to rut against him with more purpose.

"I'm here baby," he repeated with a low rasp. "I love you."

"I love you," you sobbed back.

"I never wanted someone the way I want you," he confessed, tilting his head forward, forehead bumping with yours as he continued to help you roll your hips on him. "I'm crazy about you, baby. You don't even know."

You tried to keep your eyes trained on him, on the beautiful features of his face, the droplets of water running down his face, his trembling eyelids, the parted lips as he let out breathy moans.

"Before you, I had given up the idea of finding someone for me. I didn't care, I thought I was fine being on my own," he whispered, and you could tell that he was trying hard to keep himself vulnerable.

You moved a hand from his shoulder to cup his face, Joshua leaned against your touch and he opened his eyes, blinking lazily to find yours.

"I want you so fucking much," he gave you a delirious laugh. "I am so in love with you."

You pushed his wet long hair away from his face so you could see his pretty face, ignoring the tears brimming in your eyes.

His pretty lips parted to let out a disgruntled moan, the sound reverberating inside the shower walls, sending a powerful shiver through your body.

"Fuck," Joshua breathed, his eyebrows knitting slightly. "Baby, come for me. I want you to come first," he said through a ragged breath, his hands moving your hips with more urgency now.

The emotions you felt at that moment had robbed you of your voice, so you could only nod at him in affirmation before removing the hand cupping his chin and tucking it between your body and his.

Joshua swallowed hard at the sight of you starting to rub your clit with fast swirls. "That's it, baby," he nodded, his voice was raspy now. His forehead dropped on yours again, breathing hard from a mixture of exhaustion and pleasure.

Your orgasm came fast, making you convulse slightly against his body, you tried to keep your eyes locked with his, as he watched your mouth part and your eyebrows knit together.

"Baby," you cooed, your voice surprisingly sweet and low. "I love you."

His eyes fluttered close, a shudder shaking his body, making his lower lip drop, a low raspy moan escaping him as he emptied himself inside you.

You clashed your mouth with his, your arms encircling his neck to hold onto him, the euphoric feeling of being so in love making you want to melt into his arms.

"I love you too, bunny," he gasped.

Joshua's hand blindly searched for the tap before shutting it off. His eyes read the features of your face with some thought. "I know we're both new to this. But we have to trust each other, baby," he muttered, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead.

"I do trust you," you replied with a shy mutter.

His gaze softened, appearing to understand everything now and then he nodded quietly. "We understand each other, then," he whispered, turning around and reached out for a towel, which he wrapped around his waist and then he took another one, wrapping your body with it.

A small squeal left your mouth when he sloppily lifted you from the ground, carrying you bridal style again and to the bedroom. "Are you hungry? I can order room service."

You caressed his cheek, and smiled when you were showered by some droplets of water that fell from his wet hair and onto your face. "Can we order pancakes? And strawberry milkshakes?"

He smiled endearingly at you. "Anything my baby wants," he muttered, placing you gently on the bed. "I'll make the call and then we'll talk, okay?"

In the few minutes it took him to place the order, you got up from the bed and went looking for the T-shirt you were wearing earlier. It had been thrown to the side of the couch and you put it on in one go.

You were about to turn to head towards the bed when you were hugged from behind, the surprise sent a shock down your spine but you welcomed it with a short chuckle.

"Your pancakes will be here shortly, Ms. Hong," Joshua whispered in your ear, moving a hand that was pressing on your tummy to move back your wet hair to kiss your cheek.

"I like the sound of that," you replied with a sweet smile.

"The pancakes?" he taunted with a cheeky grin.

"Being Ms. Hong too," you said.

Joshua paused, almost as if he hadn't expected you to say it, let alone turn to look at him. He must have read the honesty and love in your face, because he remained speechless.

"Baby, are you serious?" he asked, his voice was rendered a mere whisper. A slow smile crept in his face and when you didn't immediately answer, he added: "Let me get the ring. Hold on."

"Shut up," you gasped with a nervous laugh. "You don't have a ring."

"How do you know that?" he pressed a feathery kiss in your lips, his pointer and middle finger caressing your cheek, holding your chin. "I might do."

You turned in his embrace, encircling his neck with your arms, his hands followed your movement, firmly placing them on your waist. "You need to slow down, Joshua Hong," you whispered, moving your hands to his neck, where you could feel his pulse, racing at your touch.

"In my defense, you started it," he replied, popping out his lower lip in a small pout but then broke into a smile.

"Marriage, kids..." you smiled anxiously when you were able to feel his pulse under your thumbs. "We haven't been in a relationship for longer than a month, Josh."

"And?" his pierced eyebrow shot up. "I love you. I've never been more sure about this."

"And I love you too, Joshua," you tilted your head to one side. "But maybe... maybe we need to wait a little."

"Fine," he replied with some reluctance. But you could still see the spark in his big eyes, the joy and the love written in them.

"I mean it," you said firmly and he smiled, giggling cheekily.

"Alright, alright," he nodded, leaning down to press a kiss in your lips, nudging the tip of your nose with his. "I'm still calling you Ms. Hong."

The next day you had to catch the earliest flight home, as you had been told that the last delivery of books for you to sign had arrived. So you called a taxi as soon as you woke up, as you had overslept and were late.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you at the airport?" Joshua asked, his brow furrowing as he looked at your face.

"I'm sure," you replied for the nth time. You were standing on the sidewalk, waiting for the taxi. A sudden jolt of nervousness twisted your stomach when you blurted out: "Were you able to clear your schedule for Friday night?"

Joshua's gaze softened, looking remorseful as he dropped his eyes to the ground and shook his head gently. "I'm sorry, bunny," he mumbled. "I won't be able to be there with you."

Your heart deflated and you were quick to give him a nod. "Okay," you whispered with an empty smile. "It's okay. Um, I'll call you when I get home, alright?"

The taxi stopped in front of you and you turned to reach out for the handle. Joshua's face contorted, his frown deepening when you were about to leave without saying something.

"Come here," he muttered before you could get into the car, cupping the back of your head to press his lips with yours. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, Joshua," you replied, and as the car drove away you wished you hadn't said it so dryly.

✮ a/n: hi there my lovelies! ◕⩊◕

i truly don't like to split this chapter but the word count really got out of hand here. i'll post the next part as soon as i finish writing it (yes, i'm still writing it don't look at me like that)

for those who wanted juicy angst, you'll find it in the next part! 👀🩵

oki doki. that's it for me now. i love you all, drink some water, use sunscreen.... i'm not asking you to reblog or comment or like, do whatever you want idgaf

haha i love yous! ( > 〰 < )♡

toodles!

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