#i mean hey that makes it easier for me
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color wheel challenge ❤️ red
shidou hikaru from magic knight: rayearth
open for better quality | no reposts
#hikaru shidou#magic knight rayearth#fanart#myart#doodle#a little bit of a niche start here but haha hey has anyone else read rayearth?#it's a short series and kind of a cliche isekai/magical girl story but i still like it#and uhhhhh maybe i thought lantis was cute as a kid#anyway i tried to draw hikaru's fire arrow pose here#i thought i was gonna have to draw it like a real bow and arrow but i looked up the manga and she's just. pointing??#i mean hey that makes it easier for me#this is not the first clamp series character i plan on drawing btw#clamp is so good at drawing water and fire and they were/still are huge inspo for me#i wonder if anyone can guess what the theme of this challenge is
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#sure whatever. tagging ship is probably easier than explaining what the fucks up with these two in my head#hi. I watched sk8 with my friend cosme a while ago. I actually dont care about the allegations that much I just got#blasted with teenage years flashback. and now I need reki to have everything on earth and be well#these have been around for like a week lol Ive just been debating posting them to tumblr. bc like. Im not finishing these lol#hesitant to call sk8 ''therapeutic'' but boy oh boy. does it make me confront some stuff. yes a sport anime leave me alone!!!#its just. I think I was this way about raz too actually. listen I have History with Stuff. I'm allowed ok? I'm totally allowed#u can See it in some of these doodles actually. this fuckign anime got me so unwell#hey. if ur a fellow adhd potentials-havers out there. ur a real one. thanks for still hangin out doin what u love/ur best#if u were an 'if u wanna do art u have to be excellent and high-art at it otherwise it means nothing' kid. I am holding ur hand#I'll be normal now I prommy (lying)#well. what I'll be doing now is taking a nap. maybe. gods my schedule backslid like four hours again#eh whatever. I go to bed anyway. got my portion of the day done and tomorrow I go buy new knife#hope someone come give me a new table top and lower the whole thing a bit soon. so I can stop sitting like Im in a shopping cart#have a good night lads. have fun. its imperative
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A little unpopular opinion on something I've seen happen more commonly throughout November/December and wanted to address quickly for my own blog: Please never hesitate to reblog anything from me. You see me reblogging a sentence starter list that you like? Go for it and reblog it from me directly without any pressure on you whatsoever to send anything into me before doing so. You like a GIF-set or musing that I reblogged? Nab it from me, it'll brighten my day to see that we share an interest in something. I like to see interaction between me and anyone who follows me. I like to see that little activity notification light up.
Honestly, it simply reminds me that we're all part of a community, and more specifically, a fandom that consists of characters and nations that we all came to love and then share that amongst ourselves. And honestly, seeing a reblog happen shortly after me but it's from the source, creates (in my opinion) an odd sense of chosen disconnect between people that can feel awkward, it's as if we're walking on eggshells as to not rub each other the wrong way. But what's wrong about going 'Hey, I see what you reblogged, I like it too!', it even gives you potential common ground to start a conversation. We're a community, and I don't know about you, but I like seeing people interact with each other beyond merely threads and notes. It's the little things that matter, after all.
#[ psa. ] seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors.#[ i feel like this whole 'reblog karma' rule has scared people so much into stopping with behavior that... ]#[ i think was healthy. interaction; no matter how small; makes it so much easier and comfortable for people to... ]#[ interact because you almost become 'familiar faces' through these tiny little asks. ]#[ the amount of times i've entered dms kindly/respectfully after someone's reblogged something from me-- ]#[ and the person and i proceeded to just gush about the reblogged fanart in question. or something similar. ]#[ which then makes any further ooc interaction so much easier and nicer-- the initial anxiety people may face is lessened. ]#[ because you've already found common ground. ]#[ like i don't mean to force anyone to reblog from me-- but it's like it's so obvious so often when people... ]#[ see something from you but then reblog it from the source. i dunno if it's just me but it feels odd. ]#[ it feels as if someone thinks reblogging from me would step on my toes or rub me the wrong way and i don't see?? ]#[ why that's a thing? it's so silly. reblog from me; feel welcome to do so. we all love this fandom. we all love our characters. ]#[ and each others' characters. it's why we interact; right? ]#[ any way. hi-- yes. i just mean never feel odd to reblog from me. if anything i encourage it. ]#[ i'll smile and nod at you in my activity; and you'll also pique my interest to be like 'hey! good taste 💙 ]#[ any way; i hope people are having a good weekend! ]
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Every time I think about Grant Wilson I think reading THG trilogy would’ve done wonders for him
#like not only do the Wilson’s struggle with opening up and vocalizing their struggles directly but children often don’t know how to either#be it the lack of understanding lack of experience or lack of reference#even when Grant tried opening up to Yeet he distanced himself from the problem (my friend’s struggling)#and I think if he had a character he could relate to#a character who also struggled with ptsd and depersonalization#it would’ve been a little easier to say ‘hey I feel like that’#a little easier to digest that your trauma and past actions don’t make you unlovable or mean that you can’t find your footing again#idk i was reading mockingjay again on the train the other day and it got me thinking of him#grant wilson#that being said I don’t think the twins should’ve read the books as kids they would’ve gotten the wrong impression absolutely
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also I am grudgingly having to admit that it is at this point just fucking easier to use she and they interchangeably as far as pronouns go, based on the reactions I get when I don't bother to specify and then people flutter around and worry about it.
goddammit I'm going to have to actually interrogate my public identity label set. I hate that. hate having to figure out how to position myself formally in Discourse but I mean, if I'm gonna work in sex differences--currently a big part of my work--that kind of does need to be something I think about. augh.
#this is all very specific to me#in that I have stubbornly been going “no I'll stick with she/her because it's Easier” re pronouns for the past ten years#the way I conceptualize my gender doesn't treat male and female as binaries so much as like#places#addresses is my favorite metaphor really#genderqueer is comfortable in a way nonbinary is not because--oh. oh#because I hooked up “nonbinary” to “neutrois” back in the fucking day. okay. fine.#goddammit I'm stomping back to butch where I've lived for the past fifteen years so I can consider the implications#auuuugh right. right the main problem is the question of whether I ever bother to claim 'trans' alongside “gender non-conforming” etc.#which#I mean I know what my answer is whenever I run into some friendly little transphobia#which is fuck you how can I frame my existence in such a way as to make the transphobe as uncomfortable and morally dissonant as possible#the question is actually how I want to frame myself among friends. which is harder. because--ah hey there's all that old ace trauma flaring#eh. don't got to do it all at once. I can just casually offer to let people use whatever pronouns they want.#because let's be real they're gonna.
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unmedicated anxiety disorder person befuddled by brain doing the disorder
#this shit is fucking crazy#im like ok! lets get our clothes out bcoz i know u’re gonna freak out but this will make it easier#and then i’m like oh my fucking god what if people look at me#and then i’m like no i dont give a fuck but then i do i do so bad#it quite literally always takes jumping myself and beating my brain with hammers just to go Do Something#like i will map out my route. i will envision myself walking that route. i will be like yes i can see myself in this building i need 2 go 2#all of that? FICKLE.#2024 xanax in my mouth plsplsplsllspls#.jrnl#i dont mean to psychoanalyze my family before 12pm but u ever have two parents who clearly have anxiety but as ure growing up theyre like#why dont u talk to ppl??? its a little weird ure this shy?? and then when u talk to ppl u’re reprimanded to HELL#and its like hey guys i unfortunately dont think this cycle can be broken i am ur literal child and u gave me this#and the world but its all the same shit fucking itself into top ten worst brain to have#me: u can go to the store and nothing will happen to u! [SOBBING]
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doodles of the puff himself !!
#i noticed in most of the mayta knight sketches (which ill post more when i remember) Kirby looks. Very funny#being new to drawing these characters i was just making it up as i went#so i thought it’d be fun to do a doodle sheet while i watched the new g5 mlp chapter#Kirby’s becoming my go to thing to doodle#cause it makes me feel like i actually know how to draw dynamic poses#it’s like dynamic poses but without the (shudders) anatomy#the nice thing is it also means he’s way easier to animate…#…hey wait does anyone actually read these? if u do#then hi#and thank you#kirby#kirbyposting#kirby of the stars#sword kirby#sand kirby#sleep kirby#parasol Kirby#yarn Kirby#idk if those were even worth tagging whatever uhhh#my art or something#oh. Yeah the lower parasol drawing is because i don’t like the first one
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Cluster B Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) culture is having fewer cluster b things to talk about because winter is ending, so you feel GOOD for the first time in months!
.
#cluster b culture is#SAD cluster b culture is#cluster b#npd#aspd#bpd#hpd#Mod Reef#anonymous#this is a mood for Some things#but on the other hand. SAD symptoms fading means certain other symptoms become more prominent for me personally#(*cough* aggression *cough cough* impulsiveness and recklessness *cough* even more violent swings between numbness and emotion)#but hey. at least i'm not (as) miserable lmao#SAD makes me tired and grouchy but like. in a heavy way to the point where i can't Do anything about it. it also makes apathy worse#so when those symptoms clear up. i'm still apathetic a lot of the time but it's not masking emotions as they happen as much#which means when it's no longer SAD season and i'm pissed. run /hj#because not only can i feel my emotions easier but i'm also a lot more willing and able to act on them
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hello tumblr user sleepy stitches why am i willing to die for ur yuri ocs despite only having seen one line of dialogue from both of them?
sincerely, me
hi tumblr user verysharpfish,
thank you for writing in. at the top of this post i would like to clarify that pahrsi was made by my good friend rye beans, so i cannot at all take credit for her. ariane is my girl though. i would love to blend her. she sucks.
to answer your question, i think it is because they are both completely fucking insane. the dialogue in question is one i picked because i think it's wild out of context, but it stays equally insane in context? this exchange happens maybe two hours after they've met, after pahrsi has stitched up a particularly icky wound ariane has in the back of her leg (obtained from other yuri. thats a story for a different post though). they literally met at a casino and pahrsi talked ariane into taking her back to her place to stitch her up. as a complete stranger. because she thought it would be fun. i need to send her to the shredder.
the whole reason they find themselves drawn to each other in the first place is because they both have girlfriends that they have kind of rocky relationships with, and they remind each other of those girlfriends. it's kind of a weird rebound situation except if they never did anything explicitly romantic and instead just kind of danced around the fact that they're obviously attracted to each other for like two entire years. they make me fucking crazy.
oh and every exchange they have is equally insane. they always talk like this. im struggling to pick my favourite one to add at the end here because all of it is really really good. i think this one is a classic; this is barely a third of the conversation these two have about ariane's potential to kill pahrsi.
what the FUCK is wrong with them
#this is a really really basic overview of how they met and covers basically nothing about why they continue to make me insane#because this is like twenty years in the past and theres a lot going on in the present to make me crazy#but hey gotta start somewhere. idk its like i loooove to talk about these guys. i do. i would love to talk about them forever#but it is soooo much easier if i have like. Directed Questions its kind of hard to unravel their whole deal off the top of my head#all this to say this was fun . bats my eyes at my darling followers you should all ask more#you could even ask about my ocs that are pahrsi's sort-of-kids. theres a whole story there. though less insane than the yuri#arianwyn#pahrsi#13 orphans#placeholder ask tag#verysharpfish#other contenders for dialogue at the end here were secret blackjack and the holes innuendo#but nothing hits like tasteful artistry of a crime scene to me#sure hope the colour coding doesnt suck here but it means i dont have to restructure certain sentences to remove ambiguity so. lol#okay i think thats it thank you for showing interest in these freaks
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy
#Yakzua loveblog#im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything#in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway#my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives#i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his#deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for#thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called#they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other#for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its#never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens#section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like#theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat#while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism#like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he#said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing#with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his#little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone#anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he#was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying#colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity#from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis#like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen#like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik#was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and#he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you#nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic#okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare#oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans
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cold as shit & freezing my ass off in this winter (But at least we made it to December.)
#dadbots.txt#starting the new month off with a sore throat & body aches due to household cold-like symptoms. Thanks. Even when I was trying 2 avoid it#and with how cold it is — permanently staying In bed forever. Like it’s physically making me curl into a crab rn oh my god it’s so cold#Which is both hell and good in both ways. Bad since I stay in bed too much anyway. Almost everyday.#Especially with chronic low energy and 24/7 fatigued. Mentally and physically. And i really gotta do better -#- and reduce that since that adds up alongside other unhealthy habits. And I can literally feel it taking a toll on me unfortunately.#But also good since I’ll be resting more often than not. It’s not something i do and so having the opportunity to rest is kinda nice?#Still. Two sides of a coin right now. And this cold is definitely not helping me or the fact it’s easier to get sick 10x more.#Back to pain relievers and heat ig.#Although with this just. Might be a cold but also not? Thing? Since not all of my sore throats are colds but overproduced mucus. Gross.#But been drinking tea like habitually to knock this out and warm blankets and stuff. Feeling better as of typing this. So thank god it’s wo#This month been… interesting to say the least. A lot of personal talk and changes that should’ve happened years ago.#But hey. You live and learn.#And I’m not mad at it. I’m making progress when I would’ve shrugged and say it’d never happen. Now it’s happening and even I’m surprised#Doesn’t mean it’ll completely override everything in my life or push stuff to the side. Though it’s better than nothing so I’ll take it.#Winter is always hard for a lot of people and I’ve been hit with it as well. Even near the holidays and all.#Been rough. And the constant realization that each month I don’t remember…. Anything. That has happened.#But also that I did a little more than previously and slowly pushing it each month. Little by little.#There’s been a drastic change from last year to now. Went through new lifestyles and experiences. Exploring different fields. Etc#So it’s been one hell of a ride anyway. And that I can sit back and be content with. Even if nothing else is currently going on yknow#December probably gonna be slow. But we’ll see. Hope to bring new opportunities fortune and possibilities along the way. Take care y’all
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Hell yeah automatic renewal on my library book
#I'm only half way through#turns out taking detailed notes takes a damn long time#especially when you're essentially transcribing the entire book into a bullet point format#girl i need this information and the book has to go back so I'm writing the whole damn thing down#plus it helps me actually absorb the information when i have to read every sentence 2-3 times and also write it myself#learning about the neuroscience of human communication 👍#having actual mechanical knowledge of complicated concepts like my own consciousness makes it easier to troubleshoot and resolve issues#it's like “hey when you're experiencing this emotion here's what's happening and why and how you can slowly change that reaction”#i wasn't born with the intuitive understanding of emotional connection allistic people apparently have#but I've always been a powerhouse in the classroom#i have full confidence in my ability to absorb information and to learn to apply it appropriately in various situations#i have the pattern recognition to tell when someone's feeling a way with pretty good accuracy#Chinese dramas are really good for studying facial expressions and emotion because they do a lot of acting with their eyes#my main problem is not having the mirror neurons that simulate the emotions of other people in my own brain#so i have the information and i understand what it means#but i also can't help thinking it's odd to feel that way because only the data comes across and not the emotion itself#but if i get a detailed enough understanding of human behavior i think i can make up for that#and with enough applied effort over time i might be able to build those networks in my own brain on purpose#bc it's not like I'm fully missing them#when someone in a show or book is sad i do cry#but i think my defenses are up too high in person to let anything through#i have noticed increased understanding and something like empathy developing lately#still not feeling the feelings but i can recognize and accommodate them which is a lot better than i used to be
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Aight I'm ranting more
#the brain fog is thick and so is my apathy#wish i could work#wish i didnt have avoidance issues with anything even remotely reminiscent of public school 😅#wish i had more time and more energy#wish the insurance company wouldnt bill me for not healing fast enough 🤣#wish my wife had an easier time being alive#wish there wasnt a budgie slowly dying in kims basement#wish my mom wasnt so stupid and sad#wish i could cut the two most irritating people i associate with out of my life 🤣#wish a person that drives me crazy hadnr changed their name to the same as my cat 🤣#wish i wasnt too apathetic to at least play a video game til i can pass out#i have been awake almost 24 hours#havent gotten that bad in a bit#...and i still feel like i cant rant on here cuz of THEM#i deadass LIKE when people that make me happy interact with these#like the knowledge that a beloved mutual or follower read my stress and cared enough to throw a like#its just a little hey! i feel for ya man!#like the fact that anyone would care about my wellbeing in the slightest? means so much to me?#but them. they make my skin crawl. have since i was like. 18 maybe younger#i miss my grandparents#im... not invited to the spreading of the ashes. thats gonna be just the siblings#no grandkids#BUT linda wants ME to take some of their ashes to graphton#its the last place maw got to pick before she lost her mind#i'll find the grade school where they met#i think theres a river port out there; maybe he got on a naval ship there#maybe thats where he left and promissed hed come back#or maybe i can find the place where she stayed waiting. or their first house!#its... something. one more thing i can do for them#i wish i had been big enough. strong enough old enough. anything enough to be more for them
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my typical style of writing is so reliant on individual sensations (i.e. what one person is seeing, thinking, or feeling in any given moment) that i find writing from a non-singular perspective VERY difficult, but i got a lot of nice compliments about how i handled perspective in my last fic, which is honestly what’s keeping me going here… it’s a journey, but we’re getting through it.
#and by ‘getting through it’ i mean rewriting the opening scene AGAIN bc it’s still not flow-y enough for me 😂😂#i need it to feel like a dream#that’s when i’ll be happy with it#but hey - i haven’t given up!!#i have a VERY clear outline of this fic now and i know exactly how it’s going to end - which is great#i haven’t actually picked a final line yet - but we’ll get there#i should probably start writing the scenes out of order honestly… i know exactly how the last part goes but i know the middle is gonna be#tough to write#like. emotionally that is…#and because i have to figure out dialogue which is Annoying#but i’ll be in a singular perspective again - so that’ll make it easier from a practical standpoint#plus I’ve still got a draft of that part that i wrote back in fucking AUGUST#so i’ve got something to go on there…#woo…. i am very tired!!!!!
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