#i mean i do for the record think the anti time concept is so ridiculous

[afterthefeast]

okay i finished zagreus i’ll never be the same person again and it’s fine

[mellowyandere]

You’re Ours to Protect

Had a weird dream last night. Thought you might enjoy it. 

Reader: F

Characters: Toshinori Yagi (All Might), Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)

Summary: Your time as an anti-hero might finally be coming to an end. With three pros on your tail it’s a miracle this didn't happen sooner. (Reader has a quirk but it’s not very important to the smut.)

Length: 4.5 K (I have come to the conclusion that I am incapable of writing below 4 K)

Warnings: non-con, yandere themes, slight bondage/restraints, voyeurism, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, anal fingering, anal sex, M/M/F, mostly clothed male, naked reader, slight cum swallowing, Eraserhead and Present Mic are in an established relationship in this fic. 

Hands were on your body, hands that shouldn’t be there. Your mind was stuck in a fog, your limbs so heavy you could barely move them. What was going on? You strained to remember, thinking long and hard about what might have led you here as calloused fingers blazed trails along your exposed thighs. You managed to wiggle your limbs a bit, shaking off the haze that muddled your brain.

You groaned, trying to open your eyes so you can get a better understanding of your surroundings. Your hands were restrained behind your back but it seemed your legs were free. You'd murder who ever had their fucking hands on you. As your eyes adjusted to the light you couldn't help but groan again as the figure in front of you came into view. You tried and failed to subtly use your quirk, this didn’t look good.

“Eraserhead. Didn’t realize you were still wasting your time looking for me. Not my fault I beat you to that criminal. Hero’s leaving trash like him alive is such a stupid concept. He was a murderer you know.” 

You looked around to the best of your ability as you spoke, you were sitting on a plush dark green couch in what appeared to be a relatively empty basement. You had been stripped of your gear, leaving you in your underwear and an oversized t-shirt. Two men were flanking you on the couch. The one to your left you didn't recognize. He was ridiculously tall, as well as skinny. Blond hair a mess as two long bangs hid his eyes from view. To your right was a pro you did recognize. His emerald green eyes sparkled in delight behind his civilian glasses as he grinned down at you. So it was their hands on your body currently. They’d die first then. 

“So, what does that make you?” the dark haired pro murmured, leaning forwards and somewhat regaining your attention. 

You ignored his question, opting to look about some more. There wasn't a one-way mirror or any recording device in sight. Were they interrogating you off the books? This whole situation seemed off, these were heroes right? They’d convict you and leave you to rot in a dingy jail cell somewhere.. but this didn't look like a normal interrogation room. 

“I know this is my first time getting caught and all but this doesn’t really seem up to protocol. Gonna haul me away after having fun or something?” You shifted your gaze to the obsidian eyes in front of you, leaning forwards to mimic his posture. 

Present Mic barked out a laugh, hand squeezing harder on you thigh much to your annoyance. “Sorry babe but prison won’t be your final destination! I mean after all y’aint evil, just a lil misguided is all, nothin’ three pros can’t fix.” He ended his sentence with a pinch to your leg. 

“If you don’t get your fucking hands off me I’ll kill you!” You snarled, turning and getting up in Present Mic’s face. The tall blond to your left pulled his hands back, scooting away as Present Mic continued to leer down at you. 

“HAH little girls got some bite, but we already knew that. Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to use that quirk. I’m hurt now! You really would try to kill me huh?” he mocked with a fake pout, but you could see the amusement in his eyes. 

“I’m sure you’ve already realized by now you can’t use your quirk. It wasn’t easy making a device to cancel it out, but thanks to our newest colleague here the hardest part was collecting your DNA and picking what color collar we wanted.” Eraserhead leaned forward, fingers tugging on the collar you only now just realized was around your neck.

You tried to bite him, but he pulled back. If only you could wipe that stupid smirk off his face with a heart attack. Your quirk was the ability to clot blood after all. A handy trick if you found yourself injured, but even more so for killing once you learned how to properly control it. No one really batted an eye at an ischemic stroke due to the clotting of an artery to the brain. Well.. almost nobody.. 

“You have a very impressive ability,” the tall blond stated, “in all honesty we probably wouldn’t have caught on if we hadn’t watched you kill. You’ve induced countless of natural looking deaths, but upon closer inspection you target people whose crimes would have landed them in jail. Noble, but very misguided. You’re pretty reckless though, what if you had gotten hurt?” 

“So fucking what if I did.” You kept your eyes glued to Present Mic as you responded, trusting him a lot less than the man behind you. His eyes narrowed dangerously at your snarky rebuttal.

“Language young lady, and that’s no way to talk! What would compel you to risk your life, why don’t you trust your hero’s more?” 

You clenched your teeth in frustration but didn’t respond. You were done cooperating, not like you were doing much to begin with though.

The scrapping of a metal chair on concrete drew your gaze as Eraserhead stood up. 

“Back up Zashi, I’ll take over from here. Toshinori you’re fine where you are.” 

You couldn’t help but struggle a bit at his words. “What do you mean, what the hell are you going to do!? You insane or something? Just turn me in to the police!”

“You really don't pay attention do you. Hizashi already said you’re not going to the police. I don’t know what skeletons you have in your closet, or why you started killing people, but that will come out in due time. For now you don’t have to kill anymore. The three of us will take care of you, without the law sentencing you to life. We’ve been hunting you down for so long. We’ve been very patient, but right now you need us to help show you what you’ve been missing. Running around all by yourself, you must have been so lonely.” Eraserhead finished up his little spiel as he stalked forwards, looming over your sitting frame. 

“Don’t fucking TOUC-gah!” You had been so focused on Eraserhead’s approach you hadn’t noticed Present Mic coming at you with a gag until it was too late. 

“Yagi already asked you to watch that dirty mouth of yours, don’t worry though babe once you simmer down a bit we’ll take it out.”

“Ple-please Hizashi call me Toshinori we’ve been over this.”

You gave Eraserhead your best glare as he stopped in front of you. He smiled softly at your defiance before wedging his knee in between your legs and slamming his hands onto the couch, caging you in. Wait by show you what you were missing.. these hero's were going to..?

You tried to talk reason, but all that came out were muffled pleas. None of it coherent. 

“We’ve been watching over you for 5 months now kitten. Trying to find the best way to approach you but in the end taking you somewhere safe seemed to be the only logical solution. While getting this house ready for your arrival we all started to feel as if you belonged here all along. I know it’s not fair, we’ve had so much longer to get to know you, but you’ll know us just as well soon enough.”

It was official. These pros had lost their damn minds. They actually figured out how to justify what they were about to do to you. Your promise to only kill criminals was really coming back to bite you on the ass. 

You brought your legs up and tried to kick him off, but were quickly thwarted by two pairs of hands grabbing them and pinning you down. 

“Now now sweetheart none of that, Shouta here is just going to show you our conviction. No one will ever hurt you again now that we are here. Now that I am here” The last part was mumbled more to himself than the group. 

Something must have happened to these men to cause their hero complex to grow into something so twisted. But that was no fucking excuse for their actions. They needed therapy, not someone to play damsel in distress with.

Shouta lowered himself between your legs until he was kneeling on the floor in front of you. You tried to plead with your eyes, beg him to stop, but he met your gaze with something bordering love. That wasn’t good. Breaking eye contact he looked down at your underwear, bringing a hand up you held your breath as he gently brushed against your core. 

“You can’t even begin to imagine how much I’ve dreamed of this moment. You truly are something special, and yet you treat your life with such little regard it’s maddening.” He trailed his knuckles against the thin fabric as he spoke, your traitorous body sparking heat in your lower abdomen in anticipation. 

Pulling your underwear to the side he slowly began to slide his fingers up and down your progressively wetting folds. 

“Well now, someone secretly enjoyin’ themselves baby,” Hizashi all but purred, his hand squeezing your flesh while his gaze was transfixed on where his partner was violating you. You couldn’t help but let out a pitiful whine. It was absolutely humiliating being spread out before these three men. 

The noises your wet cunt were making were no help to your embarrassment, and they only got worse once the dark haired pro rid you of your last line of defense and began to insert two of his fingers. 

“H-how does she feel?” Toshinori couldn’t help but ask. His face was flushed red, along with the tips of his ears as his vibrant blue eyes watched Shouta’s fingers slowly sink inside you. 

“Tight, shit she’s tight. She’s perfect, so fucking wet for her hero's. I’ll work you open kitten don’t worry.” You couldn’t help but clamp down on his fingers at his words, earning a deep chuckle in response. 

“See now, such a good girl aren’t you. Prison is no place for you kitten, though if you want we can always role-play your wardens.”

Role-play my ass we’re already living it, was all you could think bitterly. 

As if he read your mind Shouta couldn’t help but continue to antagonize you, thumb beginning to make light circles against your clit as he pumped his fingers, adding a third and quickly burying them knuckle deep. Soft whimpers slipped from your mouth as you tried in vain to wiggle away from Eraserhead’s deft fingers. 

Hizashi was getting impatient, removing one of his hands to grasp your breast through the t-shirt you had on. His slim fingers began to pinch and rub your nipple, though his eyes never left your cunt. 

Toshinori was struggling in his own way. Raspy breaths with slight coughs as he grew more and more aroused. He too removed a hand from your leg, but instead made quick work of the zipper on his pants. Taking his semi hard cock in his hand he began gently stroke himself while watching your display. 

You truly were everything they had ever wanted. But you didn’t want this, despite your bodies responses to their ministrations. You could feel it, Shouta seemed to know exactly where to stroke as he worked you up tighter and tighter, velvety walls clamping down at your approaching climax. 

You found each man murmuring their own words of praise, anywhere from “That’s it baby girl, take all of Sho now,” to “Such a perfect princess, do you want to finish?” The man between your legs even adding to the mantra of soft words spoken to you. “So close kitten, see what good girls get. You’re going to cum for me okay?” 

He posed it like a question but you knew it was far from it. It was a statement, a matter of fact statement that you couldn’t deny even if you had tried. Your back arched, moans and mewls intercepted but not completely blocked out by your gag as you rocked against his hand. He gladly continued to finger you, watching as you came down from your high and only then removed his hand. 

You were panting hard, shame quickly washing away the pleasure from your orgasm. Sensing the shift in your demeanor Hizashi was quick to pounce, peppering your face in kisses despite your shifty protests and groans of despair. “None of that now babe, after all we’re just gettin’ this show started!” 

Shouta stood and moved out from between your legs, licking some of your slick off his hand before he wiped the rest on his black pants leg. “You got lube Zashi?” Hizashi paused his attack and shot the dark haired pro a million dollar smile. “You bet our babes cute ass I got it! Lemme find it, hold her Toshi.”

Toshinori floundered a bit, cock in hand as Hizashi shoved you closer to him, before jumping up from the couch. Eyes trailing down to his hand you couldn’t help but freeze in shock. Not only was this man stupid tall, his dick was frighteningly large. The older hero noticed your stare and couldn’t help but chuckle a bit at your expression. “Don’t worry princess, Shouta and Hizashi are going to help you today. My sides acting up so I’ll only be watching.” 

As if on cue the man was hit by a coughing fit, and much to your surprise he even coughed up some blood. Eraserhead was still looming over you, leaning over he gently rubbed the older blonds back as he tried to ease him through the pain. You didn’t dare move as all this transpired around you. What good would it have done you anyways? You were effectively quirkiness, and your fighting skills would be severely lacking against the two heroes you knew. You had no idea who this Toshinori guy was, but if he was close to Eraserhead and Present Mic you doubted he was weak. 

You heard Hizashi rummaging behind you through a dresser you hadn’t noticed earlier. Craning your neck, you peered over and cried out in frustration. 

“Tada!” He sung triumphantly, a small bottle of lube in his hand. “Act two can now officially begin!” You could only yell and wiggle about in protest, your arms still tied behind your back. Toshinori’s hand on your thigh moved to gently pat you on the head. 

“Behave now for them okay? If you’re good we can show you the rest of our home after this.” 

You jerked your head out from under his hand and yelled more incoherent nonsense out of frustration. You had expected anger to replace the adoring look in his eyes but you were only met with fond amusement. 

He stood up with a hearty laugh, erection still in hand as he grabbed Shouta’s discarded chair, sitting down facing the couch. Shouta was quick to take Toshinori’s place on the couch while Hizashi took up residence behind you. 

“I have a feelin’ this star ain’t a fan of the spotlight, no need to be camera shy babe.” You watched Shouta roll his eyes at his partner in crime before he began to manhandle you. Hands under your armpits he pulled you up and wrangled you onto your knees facing him on the couch. 

Hizashi slid one knee between your legs so you couldn't close them. Your tied hands couldn’t help but brush up against his clothed hard on, causing him to rut against you a bit in anticipation. 

Without warning he took a solid grip of your t-shirt and ripped it off. You squeaked in surprise, your face heating up as you realized you were the only person fully naked in the room. 

“Was it really necessary to rip my shirt?”

“Sorry about that Toshi! Didn’t want to delay the show with takin’ off her bindings yah dig? You rip them a bunch anyways so what’s another to the pile? But ain’t this just so much better, our baby girl on full display it makes my heart swoon!”

“Just get her ready Hizashi, and no rushing it, you don’t want to hurt her.”

“Aight aight sorry I’ll get to work, you keep her happy.”

Both men moved closer, pressing your body between them. They had propped themselves up on their knees and had you effectively stuck. Shouta gently placed one hand around your neck, giving your collar a tug, while the other trailed down and began to gently work your still wet pussy. 

You stared into his chest, trying your best to space out but jerked back to reality when you heard the pop of a lid behind you. 

“Don’t worry babe I’ll get you ready, I’m somewhat of a pro yah know?” 

That was when you felt his lubed finger gently prodding your other hole. You jolted forwards into Shouta who didn’t even budge in response to your full body weight. Hizashi simply shuffled closer, continuing to push until finally he breached you. You whimpered at the uncomfortable intrusion. 

Shouta's fingers lazily worked your cunt as he rocked his erection against your lower abdomen. Despite the fact that you hated the feeling of his growing arousal you couldn’t help but lean into him to try and get away from Hizashi as he slipped another finger inside. Tears slowly rolled down your face in frustration as the two heroes prepared your body. 

“There we go kitten, you’re doing so well. Just be patient alright and it won’t hurt so bad.” Shouta removed his hand from around your neck and placed it on your head, angling your gaze to the third member of the group you had almost forgotten while pulling you flush to his clothed chest so you couldn’t freely change your field of view. 

Toshinori was leaned back in the metal folding chair, which looked comically small with him sitting on it. His eyes were clouded with lust as he stroked his thick cock. His own pre-cum and spit adding obscene noises to his ministrations. He gave you a lopsided smile as you made eye contact, causing you to quirky avert your gaze. 

By this point Hizashi had worked three fingers knuckle deep into your tight hole, but coupled with Shouta’s work the line between uncomfortable and pleasurable began to mix together. A breathless moan escaped you as the two pros finally got their desired reaction. 

“She’s as good as she’s gonna get Sho, let’s say you and me start the finale I can’t take feelin’ her tight lil hole clamping down on my fingers any longer. Not when I got somethin’ much better for her.”

Your tears flowed a bit faster at your impending fate. This was fucking insane! You might have been a murderer, but you weren't expected to be a good person unlike these men. These heroes who were now violating you.

Since Shouta was in black sweatpants he merely leaned back a bit and pulled them down, cock springing free. He had a solid girth to him, red tip dripping pre down his shaft to his unruly black pubic hair. You heard a zipper behind you as the blond freed himself, though due to being squashed between the two you had no idea what to prepare for. 

Hizashi hummed in contemplation at your tied hands, currently in the way of his objective. “Bonds might have to go Sho, you get her hands?” The sleepy hero merely nodded grasping your wrists as Hizashi swiftly untied them. 

“Ready now primadonna?”

“Ha ha you’re soo funny Sho... but yes, shit, I’m fucking ready.”

You kept quiet this time, head pressed against Shouta’s chest as you listened to his rapidly beating heart. You gave one last pleading look to the lean blond watching intently from the sideline, but all he did was shrug his shoulders with a small smile on his face. 

“You’re going to do great princess don’t worry.” 

You felt the tips of each man at their respective entrance, Shouta's teasing your soaking cunt while Hizashi lightly probed your lubed ass. You closed your eyes and accepted defeat. They gently began to rut their hips, cocks sinking deeper with each thrust. You felt uncomfortably full as they breached you. 

“Oh fuck oh fuck I can feel you through her.” The blond quickly grabbed your breasts, tweaking your nipples like he had earlier. 

“Easy does it kitten, we got you,” Shouta groaned out. 

You weren’t a fan of Hizashi behind you, rocking forward into Shouta as they continued to fuck into you. He squeezed down on your wrists in warning, hot breath fanning the top of your head. It didn’t take much longer before they both had finally bottomed out. You groaned in distress while they groaned in bliss. 

“I’ve got her wrists you help her out alright, and take it easy.”

“Sheesh I heard yah the first time, I’ll help our lil girl out.”

Hizashi snaked a hand in between you and Shouta, finding your clit. 

They both continued fucking into you, Hizashi matching Shouta’s pace as they stimulated your body. You were angry, humiliated, and yet somehow you were so turned on it was embarrassing. You should be thrashing about, snarling into your gag, but instead all you could do was rock your body to their salacious tempo. 

Peeking your eyes open at a particularly hard thrust from Hizashi you saw Toshinori on the edge of the chair. You could just barely make out his raspy breaths and small moans over Shouta and Hizashi’s groaning. His brilliant blue eyes bore into your own. One of his hands worked his long shaft while the other was death gripping his clothed thigh. It almost looked as if steam was pouring off of him. Was he always that muscular?

You didn’t have long to contemplate Toshinori though, with a pinch to your clit Hizashi made sure to regain your attention. He had picked up his pace, throwing Shouta a bit off balance. He leaned down sucking and biting at your neck while rolling your perky nipple. Shouta felt your velvety walls clamp down around his cock, picking up his tempo to match Hizashi’s.

By now you were a mess. Traitorous moans fumbling from your mouth as the two heroes played your body. They had picked up an alternating tempo, never leaving you without a cock inside your body. The pleasure had you throwing your head back, leaving your neck exposed and making room for Shouta to join Hizashi in leaving little claiming bites all along your delicate skin. 

“She’s getting close Hizashi, we’re gonna fuck her through it alright?”

The blond pro behind you only moaned out something that sounded vaguely affirmative, eager to feel your tight walls clamp down on him. 

You were beyond fighting them, on the brink of orgasm all it took was one pointed thrust from Shouta to have you crumbling apart. You pushed back into Hizashi’s chest, his t-shirt sticking to your sweat soaked skin as you clamped down on both of them. Hizashi moaned into your neck, his quirk picking up a bit as he lost his composure. Shouta had released your hands, ripping off your gag so he could grab your face and crash his mouth to yours, swallowing your moans as your newly freed hands grabbed fist fulls of his shirt to stabilize yourself. 

As stated they continued fucking into you, dragging out your orgasm as your walls spasmed around them. Shouta’s tongue delved into your mouth, his own deep moans rumbling into you. 

“Go-gonna fuckin’ cum Sho, n- not much longer.”

In response Eraserhead reached behind you, grabbing a fist full of the blonds hair and giving it a firm tug which was enough to push him over the edge. 

“Sh-shit,” he wheezed, hips stilling as his cum filled your sore ass. “You fu- you fucking dirty cheater makin’ me finish first like that.” In kind Hizashi grabbed some of Shouta’s hair, pulling his mouth away from yours and up to his own. 

“Go ahead and cum in her Sho you know you want to,” Hizashi taunted between kisses. The familiar sound of metal against concrete drew your gaze as the all too familiar symbol of peace stood at his full height. Holy fucking shit it was All Might. 

The two pros ignored his approach, Shouta’s hips becoming a bit more deranged as he fucked into you. All Might reached in between the two and gripped your lower jaw, dazzling smile almost blinding you.

“Be a good girl now and open for me, you don’t have to swallow it all but I’d appreciate the effort.” He didn’t leave you with much of a choice finding it impossible to close your mouth with his grip, which at this point was very sore from the gag. The tip of his large member gently brushed against your lips as he shuttered at the feeling of your soft flesh. 

By this point Shouta was thrusting aggressively against your battered cervix, mouth locked with Hizahi’s as he finally reached his own release. His hips stuttered as warmth filled your cunt. 

Now all that was left was All Might. Your jaw strained to accommodate him, but he seemed to be more than aware of your limitations. He simply pushed the tip in, one hand stroking his shaft while the other gently pet your head. 

“So pretty,” he cooed down at you. “Just like that princess, I’m gonna cum now okay?” 

You simply kept your mouth open, tongue flat against the underside of his still cock as his cum filled your mouth. The bitter taste made you sputter, cum running down your chin as more took its place. After a couple more spurts he gently pulled away, some of the bitter substance sliding down your throat while the majority ended up down your chin and onto the couch below. 

All four of you were panting, frozen in time until finally All Might disappeared in a large cloud of smoke. The man you had originally believed to be some unknown hero named Toshinori now stood in his place, shyly looking down at you. 

“I guess that’s one way to show her huh big guy.” Hizashi jested. 

“I-I know probably not the most ideal but I couldn’t help myself,” he murmured a bit embarrassed. 

Hizashi and Shouta pulled out, their cum immediately running down your legs causing you to cringe a bit at the sensation. 

“You guys.. fucking suck.” was all you could think of at the moment. You waited for the rage, for them to berate or attack you, but instead all that met you was a chorus of soft chuckles.

“Figured you wouldn’t be easy to convince kitten, but don’t worry. Between the three of us you’ll come around.” 

These three men must have some thick fucking skulls to dismiss you so casually, that or their obsession was a lot deeper than you could even begin to comprehend. 

“Some fucking heroes you are,” you grumbled lowly.

“Some fuckin’ heroes we are indeed cutie! HAH get it? Cause we just fucked yah?” Hizashi laughed at his own joke while Toshinori and Shouta groaned. 

“Alright don’t make me gag you next, let’s just get everybody upstairs and clean up. We’ll do the house tour later kitten, for now we’ll just show you to your room.” 

[deonideatta]

@ohcoolnice @whyyoudo I couldn't get the concept of han seok and junwoo being two different people out of my head so on this vincenzo-less sunday I give you a loose rewrite of canon where jun woo is the third jang brother and han seok's twin!

They were born jang han seok and jang han sol, and han seok is the older twin. They were separated when they were very young, because of han seok and an incident which ended up with han sol in the hospital. It was supposed to be temporary, but one of the house staff took pity on the poor child and smuggled him away. His name was changed to jun woo and they didn't find him again until both him and han seok were adults

They grew up very differently, han seok under the jang family, tormenting han seo and becoming the unhinged, solitary figure we all know and hate, and jun woo in an adopted family somewhere across the country into the dorky, sweet intern we knew for a bit and loved

Both of them somehow ended up spending time in america, though neither knew and they never met. Han seok because his father sent him there and jun woo because he got a scholarship to go to university there

Very few people now know about han seok himself, much less his twin brother. Before han seok's chairman takeover, most people think han seo is the only jang child

Jun woo knows he has a twin brother, but he doesnt know who he is. He can't remember his name or his face, or those of his real family. When he receives an offer for a job at wusang, he takes it as a learning opportunity and accepts

The only one who has all the cards is han seok, and so when he hears that jun woo has become an intern at wusang he decides its time to play them

So he spends people to observe and record jun woo, and after things start heating up and chayenzo declares war on babel, he kidnaps and threatens him, and tells him that he has to let him cosplay as him so that he can scope out the increasing threat

This is not how jun woo had ever thought meeting his long lost twin brother would go. He tries to put up a fight, but han seok hits him in the stomach with the hockey stick he's wielding like some kind of ancient weapon so hard that he spits out blood, and that takes the fight out of him

Han seok crouches down in front of jun woo and stares him in the eye, and it's like looking into a mirror except his reflection is staring at him with chillingly blank eyes.

It's the same for han seok, except his reflection looks back with open terror. The feeling it gives him is unpleasant and han seok doesn't like seeing weakness like that on a face that could pass for his own. But if he wants to get what he wants, he can't harm his twin too much just yet

Visually they're identical, so han seok passes perfectly for jun woo. He doesn't get all his mannerisms right at first, but with practice basically no one can tell the difference unless they look hard enough to notice that han seok's eyes are always empty even when he's copying jun woo's biggest grin.

A part of han seok feels a flash of jealousy at the fact that his twin has had a pleasant and fulfilling life while he's had to live neglected in the shadows for so long, so he takes extra satisfaction in the way jun woo's face falls when he appears in front of him for the first time dressed in his work attire, indistinguishable from jun woo on the average week day, backpack and all.

To spite him even further, han seok mimics his cheery, enthusiastic way of speaking, smiling so widely that it's mocking, and embraces the glee that jun woo's downtrodden expression gives him

He does hate having to curl his hair to copy jun woo's usual hairstyle though

At this point han seo finds out he has a second older brother, because han seok wants him to be able to continue to act normal and not freak out if he sees him cosplaying as jun woo

This brother is identical to his other one but actually really nice to him and it's both incredible and completely terrifying. It takes han seo a while to warm up to jun woo because he looks so much like han seok, as well as for fear of han seok's reaction, but he gets there

Whenever they meet (usually bc of han seok) the two bond over their shared fear and hatred of han seok. There's twice the himbo power. Incredible

Jun woo had had no idea that he had a younger (half) brother, and his heart goes out to him for having to live under han seok's abuse for so long

So he makes an effort to get to know han seo when han seok isn't around to yell at them. Han seo appreciates this a lot, because jun woo is like han seok on his incredibly rare good days except much better and all the time

Being a veteran at Handling Han SeokTM, he gives jun woo tips on how to get on han seok's good side and avoid getting things thrown at you

Jun woo tells han seo that one day when they get free of han seok they should take a trip to disneyland. Han seo, who has never been to an amusement park before, makes him promise it

Han seok's babel boss reveal presentation goes more or less the same way, except it's also a twin reveal and choi myung hee and mr han have to deal with the fact that not only is their intern the babel chairman's twin brother, but they have also been switching places regularly

Meanwhile cha young, who is out there living her best anti big pharma life, thinks jun woo is acting weird. Some days he's super bubbly, almost too bubbly, and on other days he's more subdued, seemingly a bit on edge.

Biggest red flag comes when she, him and vincenzo eat spicy food together

The spicy food tolerance gene missed han seok altogether and endowed han seo and jun woo with its power

So though he doesn't protest when cha young orders the extremely spicy dish jun woo usually gets for him, han seok struggles to finish the food almost as much as vincenzo does

Cha young thinks that's really sus, but she keeps her questions to herself because there's really no explanation for it unless jun woo was replaced by a government clone or aliens. Or his secret identical twin. Hah, imagine

She files the thought away for later and they continue to dig into the man behind han seo and babel. They find out about han seok, but there's no remaining information about jun woo in the files because the jang family thought losing him was supremely embarrassing so they tried to make sure no one knew

Meanwhile han seok is super happy he's gained another protective shield. If babel gets into trouble he can force han seo to go to jail for him, and if he ever gets personally exposed he can make jun woo take the fall for him. Genius

For that purpose he makes sure no one except the babel quartet know about him and jun woo being twins

He finds that it's interesting living as jun woo though, people interact with him in a way they never do when he's han seok. Jun woo's neighbours say hello to him when he goes by, and the lady in the local convenience store makes small talk with him and asks how his new job is going. And cha young is an incredibly unusual person, han seok finds that he has some level of attraction to her, and enjoys her company

While han seo is a puppet, jun woo is a mask, a protective measure and a means to explore the world, and han seok mentally pats himself on the back for having such useful brothers

But he has to stop spending time pretending to be jun woo for now bc he knows his identity is at risk of being discovered by jipuragi squad as they hunt down the person who exposed vincenzo as a mafia member

So when vincenzo does find out that han seok is allegedly jun woo, and tells cha young, it actually isn't han seok she's sitting with when she receives the news

Naturally she doesn't know this, and she feels supremely betrayed

And when vincenzo breaks into 'han seok's' house, it's actually jun woo's house. Jun woo, who was not expecting the mafia to break into his house, is understandably scared. The kneeling gun scene goes down, except there is no bravado on jun woo's part and he's genuinely terrified

Vincenzo is arrested as planned, and jun woo meets cha young in the police station as she goes to help vincenzo

She's furious, and jun woo honestly denies that it was him who killed her father and the babel victims, unable to expose that it was han seok because he's scared of the consequences and because it sounds like such a ridiculous excuse

Poor guy gets the double slap intended for his twin brother

When han seok hears about it he laughs a lot. Jun woo is understandably angry about his reaction, but he is forced to seethe in silence

Nevertheless han seok decides to go into hiding (and forces jun woo to do the same somewhere else, hiring guards to make sure he doesn't leave) because even if chayenzo think jun woo is the babel chairman, they still have the same face

Unfortunately for han seok this means that vincenzo's spy squad see him going into his own safe house, and he gets to be the victim of the drugged water

After a few more near death scares courtesy of the local mafia man, choi myung hee suggests he reveal himself as chairman so he doesn't die at the hands of vincenzo unknown and like a loser. And so he does

At the expense of jun woo, whose identity has more or less been stolen now, and who is now indefinitely confined to the family property han seok had him hide in

The war begins all out, and jipuragi squad works hard at removing han seok's support circle, starting with daechang daily, then the anti-union activities

Han seo watches all this unfold and starts to wonder how he can get his better older brother free while taking down the other one

The answer comes to him when he sees chayenzo cover han seok with pigs blood. They're the only people who seemed to consistently be able to one up han seok, and he has only heard good things about cha young from jun woo, not to mention the fact that surely even han seok can't defeat a mafia member in the long run

So he asks mr han to help him meet vincenzo, and he tells him he has twin older brothers and asks for his help in betraying the bad one and saving the good one

Vincenzo thinks he's messing with him, and turns down han seo's request to be on the same side

But then jipuragi squad opens the guillotine file, and there below han seok's escapades in homicide and the details on han seo's suffering, is the shocking secret of the jang family, the existence of a 3rd jang brother, han seok's twin brother jang han sol

Cha young remembers how jun woo hadn't been able to eat spicy food that one time and suddenly everything makes sense

For his part vincenzo remembers what han seo had said and mentally kicks himself for thinking it was a lie

They puzzle over what this could mean and where han seok's twin brother could be now. Is the man who revealed himself as the babel chairman the real han seok? Are both of them evil? Is one being used by the other?

Cha young silently wonders which times jun woo had just been jun woo, and which times she had been eating lunch or joking with han seok the babel chairman and serial murderer

They decide they have to find the other jang twin in order to answer their questions

Problem is that he's been absent from work for the past 2 weeks, and when vincenzo breaks into his house, it looks like it hasn't been lived in for quite a while

The trail seems to lead nowhere, and they turn their attention back to tearing down babel, with the new knowledge sitting uncomfortably in the backs of their minds

And then han seo shows up at the jipuragi office in all his coffee wielding glory to plead his cooler older brother's case again

This time, to han seo's surprise, they listen to him patiently when he tells them about his older brothers. He makes sure to stress that the only one he wants to betray is han seok, and that jun woo has done nothing wrong

If the fact that they've read the part of the guillotine file that talked about what han seo had had to suffer under han seok makes it easier for them to believe him, he doesn't have to know that

The only way they can strike at han seok and simultaneously clear jun woo of suspicion is to reveal that they're twins

To do that they have to find jun woo. Han seo doesn't know where exactly he is, but he tells them that han seok would probably try and use jun woo as a shield should he ever be sent to jail

The guillotine file gives them what they need to force the prosecution to put han seok behind bars under fabricated charges. It wouldn't last long once actual investigation starts, but hopefully it will be enough

Han seok takes the bait, unknowingly, and shuttles jun woo off in his place. There's not much that irritates him as much as the thought of going to jail, and this is the perfect chance to test jun woo's loyalty. It also gives him a blind spot to operate, while his enemies think he's in jail. You can't dodge a hidden dagger and all that.

When the jipuragi squad watches the arrest of the babel chairman on the news, there's a nervous hunch to 'han seok's' shoulders, and the impassive smile he seems to be going for isn't quite right

Vincenzo and cha young go to visit him in jail

When they first see him, cha young immediately feels bad, despite herself. He looks like he hasn't slept well in ages, and his expression is far from his usual cheer, sober and sullen. This had better really be jun woo, she does not want to ever feel pity for jang han seok

It is jun woo, and he really hasn't slept well in ages, as reuniting with han seok and his violent tendencies has reawakened the memories from his childhood in the jang household that he had supressed, causing all kinds of nightmares

He doesn't look up as they enter and sit opposite him. Cha Young takes charge, and vincenzo lingers behind her, a solid and present support

When she speaks his head snaps up at the sound of her voice, before he seems to want to correct himself and looks away

When he looks at her again there are no traces of jun woo in his face, his expression haughty and unbothered

It's chillingly like the han seok they had sat across following the pig's blood incident, and cha young has to work hard to push down the flare of anger the expression causes

She decides not to beat around the bush. She presses the printed page of the jang han sol section of the guillotine file up against the glass, and watches as jun woo's eyes widen, the facade falling as quickly as he had donned it

Jun woo takes in the picture of the two identical little boys and has to squeeze his eyes shut at the wave of fear that hits him

In its wake is a small flare of hope. If they know he isn't han seok, maybe they can help him

Cha young watches as jun woo seems to deflate at the sight of the document, and now she's sure it isn't han seok, because she's never seen him allow himself to show any form of weakness

When jun woo looks up again, there is determination mixed in with the weariness in his eyes

A while later, cha young exhales shakily as they walk out, vincenzo's hand steady and comforting on her back. She's surprised at how relieved she is to know that the jun woo she had known had not been an elaborate set up, a con which had seen her at some of her lowest moments. Her heart goes out to jun woo, but there's an undeniable joy at the confirmation that her friend still exists, because it means he can be saved

The plan is simply to collect evidence of the fact that jun woo is not han seok. Best case scenario a video of them together, though a good photo will do as well. It would also work if they can somehow get footage of han seok out and about while jun woo is in jail

The first obvious course of action is to look for cctv footage. They hunt high and low through the cameras at babel, at wusang, and around han seok and jun woo's houses, but the searches are largely fruitless

With han seo's help, they locate the safehouses han seok likes to hide out in, and vincenzo sends men to snoop around each property. This ultimately pays off when, at the 3rd property, han seok is spotted standing by a window.

The second stage begins with Mr ahn's help, and they get a swat team to raid the house han seok is hiding out in.

Fully believing that everyone thinks you're in jail makes you sloppy, and han seok doesn't see it coming until the black vehicles are speeding down his driveway

He doesn't stop to take anything much, he grabs a hockey stick and he runs, wild and angry, out into the dark of the woods surrounding the house

Vincenzo watches him charge into the forest on the cctv footage retrieved from the house and smirks

The footage hits the news the next day. The headline is in large, bold letters, "Chairman Jang Han Seok spotted at holiday residence, despite prison sentence." The picture below the tagline serves as the final blow, side by side images of Han Seok sprinting away from the house, and an identical man sitting demurely in a jail cell.

As the story breaks, people begin to step forward, old employees of the jang household who had known and seen both han seok and han sol. There's nothing like good gossip to get people talking, and the shocking secret of the jang twins makes the rounds in record time

Jun woo's identity is rechecked, and he is set free

Cha young, vincenzo and han seo go to meet him when he gets out. Han seo tackles him in a hug, and cha young smacks him heartily on the back. Vincenzo doesn't react much but he does shoot jun woo a smile.

Han seok hasn't been seen in days, and jun woo is unbelievably happy to be himself again

It isn't over yet though, babel still needs to pay and han seok still needs to be found. Search parties comb through the woods around the house regularly, but there's still no sign of him. In the meantime, jipuragi prepares their final attack.

Han seo lets jun woo stay with him, and the house is fortified by multiple levels of guards

It's still mildly unsettling for han seo to have someone with han seok's face in his house, in his own safe space, but jun woo makes for a far better housemate than han seok ever was, and gradually he relaxes

For a few days, despite the tension of not knowing where your psychopath brother who probably really wants to kill you could be lurking, when there is a spare moment in the evening, han seo and jun woo catch up on years of lost brotherhood

Han seo tells him about his mother, and jun woo talks about his adopted family. Neither of them mention han seok, they skirt around his name like he doesn’t exist, like speaking their trauma aloud to someone who had been there too would make it too real to bear. Jun woo knows he had gotten the better end of the deal, he had been separated from han seok pretty early. Han seo had lost too many years of his life to their psychopath brother, and jun woo isn't sure he knows how to confront that, or how to comfort him. He hopes he can learn

Han seo wants to ask what exactly had happened to lead to jun woo being removed from the jang household and separated from han seok, but he doesnt dare. Maybe later, maybe when they aren't still worried about what han seok could do to them

Then the jipuragi squad files their lawsuit against babel. Han seok still hasn't been heard from, and they begin to wonder if he got lost in the woods. Maybe he fell of a cliff, or into a river

Either way, the trial goes spectacularly badly for babel, aided by the fact that vincenzo had threatened the unjust judge before the trial. The verdict is guilty, and it serves as a means to kick-start further investigation into previously dismissed babel trials

The day after the trial, han seok reappears

He was lost in the woods for a while, but he found his way out and laid low for a while plotting a way to get back at vincenzo and cha young for destroying his backup plans and destroying his family and company's reputation. He will also have to deal with his traitorous brothers.

It's a big blow, but it's not one he cannot recover from. All he has to do is get his revenge, terrify his brothers back into submission, and go back to his plans for his babel.

So he requests the kidnapping of cha young, and he gets his men to attack the guards at han seo's house and take her there, cornering his brothers. He strolls in when he gets word that everything is done, cocky and confident, twirling a gun between his fingers

He takes in the open fear on han seo's face, the frightened anger on jun woo's face, and the sneer on cha young's face, and he laughs. They are consistent to the very end, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

All that’s left is vincenzo, and a short while after a brief and taunt filled phone call he arrives, eyes wide and angry. Han seok does not waste time in pointing his gun at the mafia man. He stops where he is, still glaring at han seok, eyes darting regularly to cha young

Because he is never one to turn down some fun, in a bid to further anger vincenzo, han seok crouches down and points the gun to cha young's head. He watches at vincenzo's face twists with anger and worry, and he revels in it. Out of the corner of his eye he sees jun woo has moved in front of han seo, like he's protecting him, and han seok wants to laugh

He speaks to cha young in jun woo's voice to spite them both, mockingly sounding out his words in his twin's bright tone

But suddenly vincenzo drops to his knees to plead for cha young's life, and han seok grins in satisfaction. The satisfaction is shortlived, however, as something solid suddenly crashes into the back of his head

It dazes him enough that he lets go of cha young for a moment, and she takes the chance to headbutt him so hard that he drops the gun. Vincenzo pounces almost immediately, and aims a kick to han seok's head, knocking him out

The last thing he sees before everything fades to black is his spitting image standing a distance away, holding a dented art deco lamp.

When they are sure han seok has been knocked out for real, the relief that sweeps the room is palpable. Han seo slumps down and jun woo moves to check on him as vincenzo unties cha young

Jun woo moves to call the police, but vincenzo tells him not to. 

Instead, he makes a call of his own, and soon two men enter and carry out the still unconscious han seok. Jun woo wants to ask where they’re taking him, but there’s a dark glint in vincenzo’s eyes that makes him swallow the question.

None of them see han seok again until he’s on the news. His body is found in a river near the family property he had first run away from, and the consensus seems to be that he fell in and drowned while lost in the woods

The whole matter has vincenzo written all over it, but no one is going to ask about it

Han seo and jun woo hold a funeral for him because it would be suspicious if they didn’t, but they work hard to make it as underwhelming as possible. When han seo cant stop shaking (whether it’s in weariness, relief, or anger at any traces of grief, jun woo can’t tell, and honestly neither can han seo) as they stand in front of the portrait of their deceased brother, jun woo silently rests a hand on his back.

After that is over with, they take a break to have a small ‘han seok is gone’ party, and then they both throw themselves into work

Han seo takes charge of babel, firing all of han seok’s people and working hard at cleaning up the stain of corruption he’d left behind. He works hard to transform the company’s reputation, and begins the process of compensating all the people who had been wronged by them in some shape or form

Jun woo leaves wusang and starts his own law firm. Han seo makes the company his first customer, and jun woo tries hard to run his firm without any traces of what made lawyers at wusang such monsters

Cha young and him have a friendly law firm rivalry going, much to vincenzo’s amusement

When they aren’t working, jun woo and han seo hang out a lot. Jun woo is determined to replace han seo’s memories of a terrible older brother with better ones with a more pleasant older brother. Han seo still struggles sometimes with seeing han seok in jun woo, but he’s more than happy to overwrite han seok’s image in his mind with jun woo’s

A few months after everything is stable again, they do take that trip to disneyland. The picture they take outside the park is framed on both their desks.

The next year, vincenzo and cha young get married, and han seo and jun woo attend the wedding. They bring expensive gifts, and jun woo cries like it’s his own family getting married. Cha young rolls her eyes at him, but she’s pleased to have him there

It will take a while to move on fully from the damage han seok caused, but they are all working hard at it. Because now han seok is gone for good, and everything is fine.

bonus

The Incident that led to han sol becoming jun woo happened when he and han seok were 6 and han seok, having decided that they had to see who was the superior twin, challenged him to a fight to the death

It was traumatic to the point that jun woo repressed all the memories of his childhood with han seok

Han seo once called jun woo hyung when speaking to han seok, and han seok got really angry and threw a lamp at him

Before vincenzo finishes off han seok, cha young slaps him six times to make up for the two slaps she mistakenly gave jun woo

After everything blows over, jun woo takes han seo with him the next time he goes to visit his adopted family. They dote on him like he's their family too, and han seo feels more loved than he has since he lost his mother. He says so to jun woo, and from then on he takes him along whenever he visits them

Cha young, jun woo and han seo meet up sometimes to eat spicy food, both because they like it but also to spite han seok’s memory just that little bit more

Because han seok died before he could find out about vincenzo’s mother, she’s alive and well and vincenzo visits her regularly

[passionate-reply]

This week on Great Albums: a fresh look at quite possibly the 80s’ most hated band, A Flock of Seagulls! Spoiler: their music is good, people in the 90s and 00s were just mean. If you want to find out more about how having the absolute best hair in the business ended up backfiring on these poor sods, look no further than my latest video. Or the transcript of it, which follows below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’m going to be diving into a discussion of quite possibly the most derided and lambasted music group of the 1980s: A Flock of Seagulls. With a strange name, a perhaps painfully stylish aesthetic, and equally trendy and of-the-moment music, that was, for a time, inescapable in popular culture, their legacy forms a perfect target for the ridicule all popular things must face in due time. But even moreso than that, I think A Flock of Seagulls have become not only a punchline in and of themselves, but also a summation of everything that was dreadful and excessive about the early 1980s, with its “Second British Invasion” of synthesiser-driven New Wave. I can think of no better example of this kind of abuse than a famous line from the 1999 comedy film, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. The film is largely a love letter to the 1960s and its Mod aesthetics, and the protagonist, a super-spy unfrozen from this era in time, dismisses the history and culture of the 1970s and 80s as nothing more than “a gas shortage, and A Flock of Seagulls.” But at the time of this writing, we’re about as far away from Austin Powers as the film was from the release of this album, the band’s 1982 debut LP, so I think it’s been long enough that we can start to re-evaluate A Flock of Seagulls’ rightful place in music history.

While this self-titled album was the group’s first long-player, their first release was the 1981 single “It’s Not Me Talking.” Notably, this track was actually produced by the legendary Bill Nelson, who also released it on their behalf via his personal label, Cocteau Records. Ever since discovering this for myself, I’ve found the connection between Nelson and A Flock of Seagulls fascinating, and also satisfying. Despite the gulf between their respective reputations, I do think their work has a lot in common, at the end of the day: swirling washes of synth disrupted by screaming guitars, not to mention that shared interest in Midcentury rock and roll aesthetics.

Music: “It’s Not Me Talking”

These two acts would, of course, go their separate ways shortly after, and they ended up in completely opposite camps, with Nelson becoming a cult favourite with little crossover success, and A Flock of Seagulls going on to create what is, undoubtedly, one of the most iconic songs of the entire decade.

Music: “I Ran”

What does one even say about a song like “I Ran”? Over the years, it’s certainly gotten somewhat overplayed, but I can’t really hold that against it. It’s just a damn good song. Both ethereally menacing as well as catchy and rather accessible, “I Ran” takes the atmosphere suggested by “It’s Not Me Talking” and kicks it into another gear, with a harder-hitting hook and the introduction of that highly distinctive and of-the-moment echoing guitar effect. Some will hear it as little more than evidence that the song is hopelessly dated, but I’ve never thought of it as anything other than satisfying to listen to. If you ask me, I figure all art that exists is essentially “a product of its time”--nobody ever said Michelangelo Buonarroti’s David was a lousy sculpture, just because you can easily tell it was made during the Italian Renaissance. At any rate, I’d encourage everyone reading to go back and listen to it again, trying to maintain a little neutrality. I’d recommend the album cut of it, which is significantly longer than the single version, and features a rich intro that sets the scene before that famous guitar ever makes an appearance, which I think really adds to the experience. By some reckonings, A Flock of Seagulls are sometimes considered a “one-hit wonder,” but while they certainly are remembered chiefly for “I Ran,” this album’s other singles were moderately successful as well.

Music: “Space Age Love Song”

“Space Age Love Song” is perhaps the band’s second best-remembered single, and takes their sound in a markedly different direction than that of “I Ran.” “I Ran” won popular acclaim by finding a new home for the guitar, in the midst of a sea of synth, and pushed A Flock of Seagulls into a similar space as acts like the Cars and Duran Duran, who had enough mainstream rock sensibilities to sneak a lot of synthesiser usage onto American rock radio...much as one might sneak spinach into tomato sauce when feeding picky children. But I think “Space Age Love Song” is much more palatable to listeners of pop, synth- or otherwise. It’s softer in texture, and really almost dreamy, capturing the hazy, buoyant feeling of limerence as well as any pop song ever has. I’m tempted to compare it to another synth-driven classic, whose influence towers over this period in electronic music: the great Giorgio Moroder’s “I Feel Love.” Much like “I Feel Love,” “Space Age Love Song” combines simple, almost banal love lyrics with an evocative electronic soundscape, painting a picture of an enchanting, high-tech future where human feelings like love have remained comfortably recognizable across centuries or millennia. A similar theme of futuristic love pervades the album’s second single, “Modern Love Is Automatic.”

Music: “Modern Love Is Automatic”

While “Space Age Love Song” uses simplistic lyricism to portray the relatable universality of falling in love, “Modern Love Is Automatic” gives us the album’s most complex narrative. In a world where “young love’s forbidden,” we meet a pair of star-crossed lovers prevented from being together by some sort of dystopian authority. The male member of this union, introduced as the “cosmic man,” is apparently imprisoned for the crime of loving, but the text suggests that he may escape from this prison--or, perhaps, even be freed from it. The title, repeated quite frequently throughout the track, is perhaps the mantra of this anti-love society, a piece of propaganda being drilled into us as thoroughly as it is into these subjects: Modern love is automatic, with no need for messy, unpredictable human input.

It’s also worth noting that the song is consciously set in “old Japan,” deliberately locating it in the “exotic” East. While East Asia was strongly associated with refined, perhaps futuristic culture, I can’t help but think there’s a more pejorative sentiment operating here, rooted in stereotypes of Asian cultures unduly policing sexual freedom, and other forms of personal expression and self-determination. Ultimately, despite its futuristic trappings, “Modern Love Is Automatic” isn’t really a song about technology at all, but rather authoritarianism. “Telecommunication,” on the other hand, engages more directly with that theme.

Music: “Telecommunication”

“Telecommunication” was also released prior to the self-titled album proper, and was also produced by Bill Nelson. While structurally similar to “Modern Love Is Automatic,” with an oft-repeated title, brief verses, and a generally repetitive musical structure full of meandering guitar, its text quite plainly discusses the titular field of technology, in a seemingly non-judgmental fashion--though it could be argued that the fairly upbeat music suggests a positive outlook on things like radio and TV. The one hitch in all of it is the very end of the last verse, which sets the song in the “nuclear age”--a nod, perhaps, to the darker applications of 20th Century technology. “Telecommunication” is perhaps indebted less to figures like Moroder, and moreso to Kraftwerk, who first solidified the rich tradition of stoic synth thumpers about everyday machines like cars, trains, and, of course, nuclear energy. I’m also tempted to compare it to an earlier work of Bill Nelson’s group Be-Bop Deluxe, “Electrical Language,” another bubbly number that playfully bats this concept back and forth.

The theme of “quotidian technology” is also present on the cover of this album, which features an interior shot of a living room, centered around a television set. The TV displays a figure playing guitar--perhaps one of those heroic rock pioneers of the Midcentury like Buddy Holly, whom Nelson was so keen to imitate. But what’s most immediately striking about this cover is its beautiful colour palette, full of deep, saturated jewel tones, treated softly with an “airbrush” style effect. Despite being a somewhat mundane scene, the image also features fanciful, imaginative touches: the floor of this room is actually a miniature beach landscape, with the “floor” beneath the TV actually being the surface of the ocean, and the TV appears to be surrounded by a colourful, glowing group of birds. Given the beachy surroundings, we could perhaps interpret them as the titular seagulls. It’s tempting to think of this scene as a representation of how technology can sweep us away, out of our everyday existence and into something richer and more exciting.

But perhaps it’s not so simple--note also the open window in the top left, whose curtain appears to be agitated by some sort of motion in the air. Perhaps these birds are not the products of television fantasy, but rather have flown in from the window, and hence hail from the “real world?” Given how tracks like “Space Age Love Song” and “Modern Love Is Automatic” tackle the theme of the mundane meeting the fantastical, I think this complex and arresting image is a great fit for the album.

While their self-titled debut spawned multiple recognizable hits, A Flock of Seagulls never came anywhere close to recapturing its success. For the most part, they struggled to remain relevant as time wore on, largely abandoning the sonic footprint of their first album, and chasing after new trends in music technology such as digital synthesisers. They would eventually break up during the mid-1980s, and though they’ve reunited in order to perform live several times, the book is probably closed on A Flock of Seagulls. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what might have been if they had stuck to their musical roots a bit more. You get a bit of that on their third LP, 1984’s The Story of a Young Heart, which thankfully brings back that iconic echoing guitar, and does so without sounding too much like a simple retread of “I Ran.” Out of all their other work, it’s the album I would most recommend to admirers of this debut LP.

Music: “Remember David”

My favourite track on A Flock of Seagulls’ debut LP is “Messages”--not to be confused with the track of the same name by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark! Moreso than anything else on the album, “Messages” has this aggressive, insistent, driving quality, and feels less like yacht rock, and more like punk rock. Despite not being released as a single, I think it’s a very strong track that’s quite easy to get into. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Messages”

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“The New Onision Conspiracy” prev. “Hitting Your Loved Ones Is Never Ok” Speaks, September 29?, 2020 (deleted)

- Says he got 6,000 - 7,000 new followers on Twitch during one stream. Allegedly, it’s from a streamer who was trying to say Onision beats his s/o. He thought it was about Shiloh (called the cops on Shiloh stories). - He found out over stream it was actually about a record or report from November 16, 2019 where someone said it sounded like there was domestic violence in his home. He says people don’t factor in that the police are often called on streamers and Youtubers. Internet people like to waste the money of tax payers and get Youtubers and streamers swatted or call animal control all the time. - Says he was told by a police officer someone called. At the time he thought it was about his pets because it happened so often. People from the internet called and would say they’re a neighbor to get the cops to come. - Anti-o is one of the most criminal and toxic community out there because they waste tax payer money and waste the time of the police, animal control, and CPS. - Someone tried to get him swatted, but it didn’t work. They released the audio. He never listened to it, but he was told it was really bad and embarrassing for the person who called. The person who picked up the call was intelligent and saw through that person right away. Emergency receptionists deal with a lot of imbeciles, like people asking for directions to Pizza Hut. - The pizza companies don’t like anti-o’s because they were pranked so many times. He asked them to put down his number and call him to confirm if he actually ordered a pizza because people would order meat lovers pizzas to his home. They tried to pointlessly kill animals and waste the pizza company’s time and money. The prank never worked because he would never take the pizza. - Lying is the go-to for people who want to be evil online. Sarah was reported as murdered and she answered the door. Kai was reported missing and Kai answered the door. - (He was reported to animal control for farting / muffin) - People create villainous legends about him online. If you watch his Twitch you’ll know he’s boring. He’s only entertaining in videos because he’s one of the best villainous actors out there. A director tried to put him in a loving role. The director asked him why he was so awkward and weird when he was brilliant in the other roles he gave him. He says it’s because he’ll the villain. He’s Loki, not Thor. He’s the guy that plays American Psycho, not Romeo from Romeo and Juliet. - Says people created a fictional universe where he’s a super manipulative intellectual who’s playing everyone. It’s an elaborate, nonsensical concept of him. You’d think the people who he kicked out of his life would say that’s ridiculous but they were kicked out for being liars. He’s actually quite virtuous. He has morals, standards, an overwhelming respect for the truth and justice. - He can be cold like L. He’d fit in the role of L. He hates playing Light Yagami. He always depicts L (I think he meant to say Light) as an idiot in his Death Note sketches because his motivations are stupid, he’s a criminal. He acts like a hero yet he’s killing people for disagreeing with him. - Says Thanos was an idiot too. [goes into detail about Thanos’ motivations] He should have doubled the size of the planets so he doesn’t have to kill everyone. He murdered countless individuals. - People tried to use a Leafy video as evidence against him to the police. Leafy recently wrote to him and said this was all r-worded. Keemstar also pointed out how stupid this all is. Neither of them like him, but they both had to deal with crazy anti-o. You’re all conspiracy theorists whack jobs. - (Hansen trespassed, Mike went to court) - Someone on twitter said he belongs in prison, but there was no crime. - All these people’s stories don’t line up. One person says he thinks he’s a god, another person says he’s a jerk, someone said he was rude to his husband. The consistency is he’s rude to people and you guys think that concludes a prison sentence. - People jumped to conclusions with Johnny Depp, but they flipped when they saw evidence of his girlfriend being awful. - He filmed himself walking in on Shiloh in the shower with a Go Pro. (He describes the sketch.) Says she was 18 or 19. He says it was a pretend prank. They also made a Taco Bell prank where they pretended to order in a drive thru when it was closed. He pretended to shave half of her head when she was sleeping. She told them to shave her head before the video. There was another prank where he said things like she’s not good enough at the end of the video. It’s what Youtubers do, it was fake drama. At the time you guys got it. The videos got 2,000 likes and 200 dislikes. Later on it’s out of context and people don’t understand the vibe. He threw candy corn at her and she pretended to be upset. They were dating and it was part of the joke. (He dumped Shiloh for cheating and getting pregnant story.) - If someone calls the cops on you, that doesn’t mean what they said is true. The person that called was not even a verified neighbor. - He has a hater that lives across the water. He filmed him bulldozing his weeds and made a huge thing online about it. [No. That guy worked for the fish and wildlife department in their county. He was literally doing his job. He saw a violation and reported it. He sent the video to the county when he reported it. People online got a hold of the video online because it was with the public reports on the site.] Says it was primarily blackberry bushes, nettles, and devil’s club that he cleared. Things that significantly hurt adults and children. Anti-os freaked out about it and his yard is literally better now than it’s ever been. People say he destroyed his land. What a bunch of numbskulls. - He recently did a poll on twitter and asked if he made a poll for legal expenses and after he collects it he says the majority will go to fixing his car, if that’s fraud. 80% said yes. An anti-o did that and it’s not fraud? He did another poll asking if he told someone he could destroy their life and they later asked him to sign an NDA and he told them only if they sleep with him, would that be rape? People voted 8/10 yes. Says that’s what Sarah did to him. - People used to show up to their debates and after would say they never really hated him. They were just being an entertainer or liking the attention he was getting them. You’re dealing with a bunch of liars. - He’s never found someone who talked about honesty as much as him and wound up being a liar. He swears on his own life that he’s an honest person. - He says he doesn’t need to talk about things like how he was crying when his daughter fell out of a window, but he’s trying to be transparent. - Says the domestic violence call thing obviously never happened. He and Kai are not violent. Shiloh was violent. She was hauled away for threatening to frame him for murder. Her ex said she threatened to put a bowie knife in him. (Shiloh stole his money story.) You guys hail that person a hero because you don’t care about reality. - He thinks possibly someone heard him making a meltdown video, but the only neighbor he’s near is cool with him. They text every few months about bears they saw. They invited him once to a BBQ. The hater across the water watched his with their camcorder zoomed in like a peeping Tom. 🙄 - Anti-os love breaking the law. You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain. [I swear if I got $1 every time I listened to him saying that quote I’d be rich.] They think they’re heroes, but they hurt people like villains. If you’re self righteous and you hurt others because you think you’re above other people, you’re a villain.  - He’s hurt a lot of people’s feeling and made people cry because he rejected them or said what was true. A lot of people don’t like that. - He talked to Kai about all this today and he was amused. Kai was upstairs smiling and chuckling about it. - Comment section is still closed because he doesn’t want people to talk about conspiracy theories. He’s thinking about making a forum so his fans can talk about his videos.

[sweetteaanddragons]

Wire and Code

A science fiction AU in which the elves are still immortal and bad at it, the Noldor are still making things without stopping to consider all possible implications, and the Valar still really wish they would stop.

A note on names: For the real elves, I used the name most often used for them in canon. For the androids, I used whichever name I thought most likely to have been given to them due to their circumstances in this AU.

Feanor wasn’t the first to make a successful android; that had been their father, who’d started the business. He hadn’t even been the first to make one that could pass for a real elf when seen; that was Nerdanel.

He was, however, the first to create artificial intelligence that could pass for the real thing, a fact that some attributed to Feanor’s brilliance and that Fingolfin personally attributed to his brother being insane.

The unit his brother had installed it in was as small as a child, and it sat on the edge of Feanor’s workbench with its mechanical legs swinging aimlessly and a half completed arm held steadily out while Feanor adjusted something inside.

“Exactly how are you going to market an android this small?” Fingolfin demanded. “No one’s going to want an AI this untested near their children if that’s what you were thinking.”

The android’s eyes widened. “Father?”

“Father?” Fingolfin choked. “You programmed him to - “ A new meaning in the childlike form suddenly struck him, and his heart sank. “I know you and Nerdanel wanted children,” he began carefully.

Feanor’s grip on the small hammer in his hand shifted until it looked more like a weapon than a tool. “I’m not marketing him. We’re keeping him.”

The android’s shoulders actually slumped in a semblance of relief, and Fingolfin wondered just how ridiculously complicated his programming even was. “This isn’t healthy,” he tried.

“Your concern is noted.” Feanor snapped the last arm panel into the place, and suddenly the android could be a real elven child. Fingolfin repressed a shudder. “There you go, Maitimo. Why don’t you go show your mother?”

Fingolfin barely noticed the machine’s departure. He was too caught up in the name. “You named it well-made,” he said. “Of course you did.”

“Nerdanel did, actually,” Feanor said tightly. “And I would prefer that you not refer to him as an it.”

“It is literally an object,” Fingolfin snapped before taking a deep breath and reigning himself in. Their father had enough to worry about with the Valar’s  increasing oversight of their business without the two of them getting into another scandalous fight. “Fine. But you had better not have programmed him to call me ‘uncle.’”

Feanor scoffed. “As if any child of mine ever would.”

Because Feanor apparently never knew when to stop, he kept building Maitimo progressively bigger bodies and reinstalling his personality chip in the upgraded form. Fingolfin avoided it as much as possible.

Then Feanor and Nerdanel - and why he’d ever had any hope she’d reign his brother in, he didn’t know - apparently decided one wasn’t enough and made another one.

“He can sing,” Feanor announced proudly at their latest attempt at a family dinner. Maitimo was there and talking eloquently to an enthralled Finwe. Fingolfin had no idea who had loaded food onto the machine’s plate as it wasn’t as if he could actually eat. The newest tiny android was perched in Nerdanel’s lap and looking around at everyone in a creepily convincing display of curiosity.

“All androids can sing,” Fingolfin pointed out. “The sound systems have been perfected for years.”

“You mean they can play recordings on command,” Feanor said scornfully.

“Well . . . yes,” Finarfin said with considerably more tact than Fingolfin would have. “What have you done instead?”

Nerdanel stroked the thing’s synthetic hair. “He’ll get better in time,” she said. “You still need a bit more training, don’t you?”

“I can sing,” it protested, and then -

The problem with androids singing, of course, was that no matter how perfect the pitch, they could never manage to endue a song with power the way an elf could, and the music always came out a little lifeless as a result.

This one’s power rang throughout the room with a force and beauty that brought tears to his eyes.

When the song ended, they all sat in stunned silence, except for Maitimo, who clapped dutifully, and the singer himself, who looked smug.

“I can sing,” he repeated. “I’ve been practicing.”

Fingolfin wasn’t really surprised to learn they’d named him Kanafinwe. Strong-voiced was rather hard to argue with after that. 

The third time Feanor announced he and Nerdanel had crafted an AI together, Fingolfin finally learned how his brother had been managing to do all this.

. . . Sort of.

He squinted at the brilliant gems skeptically. “They’re beautiful,” he admitted, “but how exactly are they the secret to all of this?”

Feanor shrugged defensively and moved to put them back in the safe. “I don’t know,” he admitted shortly.

“But if you made them - “

“I had been awake for three days and hadn’t left the workshop once. I had an idea, a brilliant idea, and when it was done, I had these, three pages of illegible notes, and almost no memory of what had happened. If I craft the personality chip and the programming under their light, then it works. If I don’t . . . ” Feanor’s tone did not invite further comment.

That had never stopped Fingolfin before. “If you don’t know what you’re doing, then how do you know you won’t accidentally craft murderous robots that’ll snap and kill us all?”

“I’m not murderous,” a small voice said from behind a pile of scrap metal. “I have all standard anti-violence programming installed. Also, Huan says he’s bored. Can I take him for a walk?”

“Take Maitimo with you,” Feanor said absently while Fingolfin tried to recover from nearly jumping out of his skin.

“You crafted Turcafinwe to think he can talk to dogs?” Fingolfin said incredulously.

“Of course not,” Feanor said. “I gave him the data he needed to actually talk to dogs.” His eyes shone with triumph. “And I knew you’d warm up to them eventually.”

“What - “ 

Fingolfin abruptly realized what pronoun he’d used to refer to Tyelkormo.

They weren’t people, and it was dangerous to think of them as such.

But -

Well. How much harm could it do?

The next creation was named Morifinwe, supposedly for the color of his hair. 

Judging by the look on Feanor’s face, calling him “Dark Finwe” was actually about being spiteful at the Valar’s increasing concerns that all of these too-intelligent, too-real androids might someday go dark and snap, but that wasn’t Fingolfin’s problem.

Fingolfin thought he had made his peace with his brother’s creations. He had even quietly started his own attempt at making an advanced AI, a serious break from his usual work in PR, but he still remembered all his old lessons. It would take a while, but maybe . . .

Then the next little android showed up at family dinner. 

For a moment, Fingolfin thought his brother had gotten bored with androids and decided to take up cloning.

“Why?” he finally asked Nerdanel, pain in every second of the drawn out syllable.

Nerdanel beamed at her creation. “I think he’s adorable, don’t you?”

Fingolfin remembered that this was the woman who had willingly married Feanor and instead took comfort in Anaire squeezing his hand under the table.

Still. However . . . disturbing . . . Atarinke was, he kept working on his project with Anaire’s help. He was very pleased with how Findekano came out. He might not have that mysterious extra something the Silmarils added, but he was a creation to be proud of.

His only hesitation with the programming was the designation to give himself and Anaire. Were they parents? Creators?

“We are not having it call us its parents,” Anaire said flatly. “It’s creepy enough when Feanor’s do it, and we all know he’s a bit eccentric. You’ve been complaining about it for years. Why is it suddenly a question?”

It was a question because suddenly looking at the tiny, almost perfect body on the table - small for safety concerns, small because it would make it easier to subdue if this went horribly wrong, not because he was thinking of it as a child, surely - looking at it, Fingolfin suddenly had a harder time fully believing that he was making just a machine, nothing more.

But Anaire was right, of course, and Feanor would never let him hear the end of it if he conceded at last. They would be designated by their titles within the company, nothing more.

Finarfin announced not longer after that he’d gotten so intrigued that he’d talked Earwen into helping him build Findarato. Feanor must have felt threatened because he announced that he and Nerdanel had decided they were going to build two at once in an attempt at an approximation of twins.

Fingolfin was disturbed less by the concept of that than by the aftermath. He was never entirely sure whether Feanor had actually merged the two’s memory banks or if they were just eerily good at mimicking it. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

It got almost normal after that. Finarfin had apparently enjoyed the challenge so much that he went on to build Angarato, Aikanaro, and Artanis; Fingolfin raced him for the creation of the first ‘female’ by talking Anaire into helping him with Irisse and made Turukano and Arakano for good measure. It was fine. It was all fine.

Until he walked into Feanor’s shop, saw the parts, asked, “Another one?” and heard - 

“This one’s Atarinke’s, actually.”

Fingolfin froze. “You mean it’s . . . parts for him?” Please let it be that. Please, please, please . . . 

“That’s not what I said,” Feanor said irritably. “It’s his. He decided he wanted to build himself a son. I think he’s getting someone to help him with the detail work of the programming, though. He always did prefer the hardware side of things.”

“You programmed them to be self-replicating,” Fingolfin said faintly.

“Of course I did,” Feanor said. “Didn’t you?”

The Valar were going to riot.

Fingolfin hadn’t, of course he hadn’t, but he had programmed them to take in their environment and as much as they could learn, which was presumably why young Dr. Elenwe ended up approaching him tentatively at the end of a project where she’d been allowed to use Turukano as a resource.

“He asked for my help on a personal project,” she said hesitantly, “and it sounded very interesting, only I wasn’t sure if it was allowed . . . “

Fingolfin frowned. “Does he need an upgrade?” He’d seemed to be functioning fine.

“No, no,” she assured him. “He, um. He wanted my help to make another one. A little one.” When he continued to stand frozen, refusing to comprehend it, she continued on helpfully. “He wanted its designation to be Itarille?”

“Right,” he said faintly. “I’ll . . . get back to you on that.”

In the end, he sent her a signed project approval form.

He also sent Feanor a memo that said If they build an army, I’m blaming you.

In general, the Valar were exactly as . . . concerned . . . with this development as he had expected, but Melkor was the exception to the rule and was instead merely genially interested.

Or was genially interested until Feanor shut the door in his face upon his request to see the Silmarils.

Once, just once, could his half-brother try not to be a PR nightmare?

“I don’t blame him for wanting to see them,” Turukano said wistfully. No, not wistfully. Androids couldn’t be wistful, just approximate it.

He had to keep reminding himself of that if he didn’t want Anaire to shoot him more annoyed looks when she caught him referring to them as real.

“They’re beautiful,’ Turukano continued, and Fingolfin blinked.

“You’ve seen them?” Feanor had kept them locked up and more and more, much to Nerdanel’s annoyance, and Fingolfin couldn’t think when Turukano could have glimpsed them. Unless he had hacked the security feed?

That was concerning.

“We’ve all seen them,” Turukano said in the blank voice he used to communicate simple facts programmed into his database. The sky is blue. We are in Finwe Incorporated’s headquarters on the planet Aman. We’ve all seen the Silmarils.

Fingolfin thought of how that slight but noticeable gap in the realism of Maitimo and Findekano had slowly disappeared.

He felt a sudden need to go storming into Feanor’s workshop and demand to know what he had done.

That urge was somewhat hindered by all the lights abruptly going out.

Sir, I have some bad news. There’s a planet wide power outage, and they’re having trouble with the back-up generators . . . 

Sir, I have some bad news. Someone broke into Dr. Feanor’s workshop, and it looks like they took the Silmarils and most of his notes . . . 

Sir, I have some bad news. Your father was in the hallway outside of the workshop and - 

When the backup generators finally kicked in, and Fingolfin felt slightly less of an urge to scream, he went to find Feanor.

When he found him, there was blood streaked on his brother’s knuckles and leaking down to the keyboard he was frantically typing on. Line after line of code filled the screen.

With a chill, Fingolfin realized he recognized the code. “That’s the anti-violence programming,” he realized. “Why are you dismantling it?”

“I’m going after Melkor,” Feanor said hoarsely. 

“The Valar said - “

“The Valar don’t control the largest collection of androids on the planet,” Feanor snapped. “We do.”

That Feanor intended to change the programming on the countless androids awaiting shipment in their warehouses without so much as consulting anyone surprised Fingolfin not at all. But - “You’re doing this to all of them? Even yours?” Feanor hadn’t touched their coding once since he’d finished it, preferring to let them work things out on their own.

Feanor actually paused. “I made them a separate program,” he finally said. “Code named Oath. I’ll send it out as a potential update. It’ll be up to them if . . . “

It wouldn’t be up to them. It would be up to the original software he’d installed and whatever developments it had made since. There was no real choice involved, just long strings of code.

Fingolfin didn’t say that. Instead, he said, “I’d better work on something for mine then. And see what Finarfin thinks.”

Feanor blinked. His eyes were bloodshot. “What?”

“He killed Father,” Fingolfin said, and finally let himself feel every last bit of his grief and rage. “I’m coming too.”

[thenightling]

The Dreaming issue 16

Okay, Simon.  A Night Hag.  Good for you in finally explaining what Dora is over a year and a half after you start!  FINALLY!

 Told you it would be kind of anti-climatic...   Actually, I’m kind of relieved.  I thought it might end up being ridiculously big.  It makes sense but that really, really didn’t need to be a mystery / surprise.  In fact that’s like announcing “Dora is humanoid.”   It’s like “...And?  Water is wet now?”   This was your big build up?  The reveal that the monster that is always hungry and horny ...is a Night Hag?  That’s like trying to make a Marvel twist that Malekith is a Drow. 

I shouldn’t complain.  This makes perfect sense.   I’m just annoyed at the long, drawn out “GUESS DORA’S AMAZING SECRET!”  You might as well have said the secret is “She has weird ears.”   

It makes sense.  And of course she was the accidental catalyst and inspiration for Hyperion’s scheme.   Thanks, Dora... 

This really did not need to be drawn out as long as it was.

Though if we really nitpick here, Eve sort of fit the Night Hag Role when she was haunting the dying Matthew Cable before he became Morpheus’ raven...  I know she’s technically not a Night Hag but she pretty much served that purpose during her appearance in Swamp Thing in the issue where Matthew dies (and ultimately becomes Morpheus’ raven).  

Now let’s pause a moment. The records of Morpheus’ capture WERE SOLD AT AN ESTATE (Garage) SALE IN 2007!?!  What the Hell type of garage sales do you go to!?? 

Thanks, Paul...  Or is Paul dead? I figured Alexander Burgess should have passed away by now but who is running the estate that you can just buy records of Morpheus’ capture?!

Also do- not- compare- the Lord of Dreams to an app! 

I have to admit this issue was actually kind of interesting (Finally!  It hasn’t been intriguing since issue 7.  That was the first and last truly interesting issue and even then it’s implied Daniel killed a bunch of men... for just catcalling...).   However if that was supposed to be a “Surprise” twist that the “consciousness” uploaded in the house from The Dreaming was Cain, I figured that out the first page it appeared.  Thank you for not trying to stretch out that “Surprise” reveal.  

From the get-go I think Simon has had a pretty loose idea of what Cain actually is, confusing his compulsion to kill Abel with a generic “Kill everything!”   Once you get the hang of his misunderstanding of what Cain is, it’s easy to spot Cain even when he’s a disembodied voice.   Oh, well.  Still better than Caitlin R. Kiernan deciding that Cain was a misogynist.   Weirdly though, she wrote him okay in the volume 2 version of The House of Mystery.  Just not the first version of The Dreaming.   

Cain’s not that hard of a character to figure out, guys.  He’s essentially The Crypt Keeper with an obsession with the concept of mystery, a love of his own spooky old house, and a fratricidal compulsion with some Vincent Price-isms.  He’s not the Crazy Harry Muppet.   

Paul Dini figured him out well enough to use him accurately in the kids show Justice League: Action for the episode Trick or Threat.  But then again Paul Dini is a master.  Cain’s been so badly mishandled in two versions of The Dreaming that I’m starting to seriously pity the bastard.

No joke, I had a weird dream back in early March of 2018. I might have posted about it back then.  I’m just too lazy to try to find it.  In the dream an old man that I thought was Alexander Burgess was trying to set right a terrible wrong he had done to The Dreaming.   There was an elaborate pentacle on a floor.  Don’t you just love when your mind gives you half-assed spoilers?   Well, I was partly right...  Thanks for the spoilers, Dream King.   Too bad I misinterpreted who the bald old man was. 

Dora has found Hyperion Keter, the man behind this madness.  Apparently she, as a Night Hag, was feeding on him in his nightmares in the early 90s.  He confronted her, told her that she was not real, and it caused her to fall into an existential crisis where Morpheus found her and took pity on her.       

Hyperion (Who is essentially a Steve Jobs type) came up with a mad scheme to save humanity from it’s own fear, superstition, and cruelties in the name of religion by destroying all of that- our faith, our beliefs, our myths and legends and superstitions, through our very dreams.  He created an AI that doesn’t know what their true purpose is.  The AI wants to be good and benign but is designed to destroy belief. Daniel was branded with a powerful geas tattoo placed on him by his lover (and great-niece) Ivy, who was controlled by the occultists.  Daniel came to Hyperion and showed him what his madness would do if successful so Hyperion decided to try to stop it but his own people turned against him.  Weak and dying from cancer, Hyperion was helpless.

Cain’s “essence” was uploaded into a...  Cloud server... And is now haunting the mansion where poor Hyperion lay dying and remorseful.   

Sixteen issues and this whole thing feels like it could have been told in three or four issues...  Ah, well.  At least it’s moving now...   And here I thought issue 16 would just be Lucien trying to kill himself.  I guess that’s issue 17?

I don’t know why I’m so bitter.  Maybe it’s because I know this could have been so much better.  It had such potential.  My subconscious gave me the loose version of the plot back in 2018.   I saw the good parts.

Anyway, for all my bitching this was probably the best issue since issue 7.   I liked issue 7, just not that weird part of Daniel apparently drowning those men for catcalling and Ivy “devastated” when Daniel had refused to be tattooed by her.  And this was before the occultists controlled her.  Here’s a little exercise. If it’s not okay for a man to do that to a woman, it’s also not okay for a woman to do that to a man.   Respect your lover’s autonomy and never try to guilt someone into body modification, no matter what your profession is.  No means no, bitch.

I AM amused, however, by the fact that the binding sigil- the geas tattoo holding poor Daniel is a cross between a Solomonic figure and a dream catcher.  You trapped Dream ...with a Dream Catcher...

Anyway, for the first time since issue 7 we actually got answers.   There was actual plot progression.   And I actually give a damn about what’s going on.

Issue 16...  is actually a decent read.    Not bad.  Definitely a lot more satisfying than most of The Dreaming so far.

I still miss the Vertigo logo...

Now for the next concern...

So…  Who is ready for the (As of right now) “implied” death of Lucien next month?   If this happens there will be no salvaging this version of The Dreaming.  It’s just Caitlin R. Kiernan’s version in a new wrapper and changing which Dreaming character dies for a cheap knock-off of The Wake.

Please, let this implication be wrong…

[thisguyatthemovies]

Why so quirky?

It took more than 14 years to get around to it, but the other night I watched the 2005 Cameron Crowe train wreck “Elizabethtown,” a film that sometimes shows up on Worst Movie Ever lists. It’s bad, but its “worst” status is more about disappointment, given the writer-director’s previous track record {“Say Anything…,” “Almost Famous,” “Jerry Maguire,” “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”). Still, did I mention it’s bad? A ridiculous premise, plot lines that go nowhere, obvious and heavy-handed symbolism, multiple and sickeningly sweet (and annoying) “meet cutes” and quite possibly some of the worst casting in a major motion picture ever all add up to a movie that deserves much criticism.

“Elizabethtown” also is notorious for inspiring the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” (or MPDG). The phrase usually is credited to Nathan Rabin, who wrote a piece about the movie, “The Bataan Death March of Whimsy Case File #1: ‘Elizabethtown,’” for AV/Film nearly 15 months after its release. In it, he describes Kirsten Dunst’s character, Claire, the inexplicably bubbly love interest of suicidal-but-handsome protagonist Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom), as the embodiment of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Rabin describes the type as such:

“The Manic Pixie Dream Girl exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”

By that definition, applied retroactively, Dunst’s Claire isn’t the first MPDG in movie history (some include Katharine Hepburn’s early roles on MPDG lists), nor is she even the best example of one (think Natalie Portman in “Garden State,” or Zooey Deschanel in “Yes Man” or the TV show “New Girl”). And the term, which Rabin reportedly now regrets coining, has become better defined with attributes that don’t necessarily fit Claire, even though she will forever be considered the epitome of the trope.

In case you have not seen “Elizabethtown” (and you’ll probably be just fine never seeing it), Bloom plays a shoe designer who works for a company not unlike Nike. Somehow, he is saddled with all the blame for a shoe that is so bad that it is recalled and will cost the company (somehow) nearly a billion dollars. Bloom’s Drew Baylor is fired and decides to off himself, but a phone call about the unexpected death of his father interrupts him during his first attempt. Drew, a West Coaster, is enlisted by his family to travel to Elizabethtown, Ky., his father’s hometown and where the elder Baylor has passed away, to bring the body home for cremation. Relatives in Kentucky have other plans for his final resting place.

Drew takes a flight to Kentucky and – wouldn’t you know it? – is the only passenger on the plane. That’s where Claire comes in. She apparently is the lone stewardess, and she is a talkative one at that. She won’t leave Drew alone from the get-go, and she (somehow) senses Drew is troubled and needs help because, for a guy who had a relatively important position with an internationally known shoe maker, he has no idea how to live this thing we call life. She does what any upstanding MPDG would do – she makes the repair of his damaged soul her sole purpose in life.

Claire would seem to vary from the standard trope in that she has a life of her own, at least when she and Drew meet. Her career would afford her at least a modest independent existence. She seems to have a nice place. She even has a boyfriend, though it is not clear if the guy really exists or, if he does, he is all that into her. But Claire quickly becomes a genie let out of the bottle; Drew’s every wish is her command. She just happens to show up wherever Drew is so much that if the roles were reversed, Drew would be accused of stalking. She says all the right things, even as Drew continues to hint at ending his life. She even (somehow) has the availability to, within a brief period of time, piece together a scrapbook (including hand-drawn illustrations) that will help Drew navigate a soul-discovering solo cross-country road trip AND (this being a Cameron Crowe movie) has provided the soundtrack via mix CDs that are (somehow) timed perfectly to coincide with landmarks during Drew’s travels. So omnipresent, so magical is Dunst’s character that some have suggested she was written to be a guardian angel sent to save Drew’s life. That interpretation at least makes some of Claire’s story semi-plausible and almost tolerable.

Claire is selfless to a fault, and she certainly is strange, maybe unstable. But, if anything, Manic Pixie Dream Girls lost even more sense of self and picked up more strangeness as the stock character turned into a full-fledged trope. Think Deschanel as Allison in the 2008 Jim Carrey vehicle “Yes Man.” As is always the case in these things, Carrey is a cynical, disillusioned man looking for meaning in life. He happens upon Allison, who hits a lot of stock MPGD notes. She zips around town on a moped. She wears mismatched clothing from vintage stores. She performs avant garde (and awful) music. Her primary means of supporting herself (?) is by teaching a class that combines jogging and photography. She is everything Carrey’s Carl Allen is not, mostly carefree. They, of course, engage in romance, even though Carl is notably older than Allison (that’s the case in many films, not just MPDG movies).

In 2010’s “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World,” two characters combine for the role of MPDG. The titular character, played by Michael Cera, is a slacker musician a few years removed from high school. That doesn’t stop him from dating a high-schooler, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), whose sole purpose is as a superfan for Scott’s band. Then Scott meets the girl of his dreams (literally), Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who is at least older than Knives but still is quirky (she works delivering packages while on roller skates) and impulsive (she often changes her hair color) but is too aloof and serious to be a full-on MPDG. She does, however, end up being a sort-of trophy, to be won if Scott can defeat her seven evil exes. So, her existence still is minimalized.

Some movies have addressed the MPDG thing head-on. Though sometimes cited as a MPDG, Kate Winslet’s Clementine in 2004’s “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” is actually the anti-MPDG. Sure, she wears orange hair and gloves with the fingertips cut off, and she’s impulsive. But she also is flawed, sometimes dark and independent (MPDGs typically don’t get any of those traits). And she says this, which seems like a direct response to the trope, even though the term didn’t yet exist, as written by Charlie Kaufman: “Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna make them alive. But I’m just a fu**ed-up girl who’s looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.”

Those are sentiments Claire in “Elizabethtown” never would have expressed, her focus being on a lost, sensitive young man and his happiness, not hers. Nor would she be allowed to even think such, given she and MPDGs like her are the products of writers and filmmakers who want to believe that this idealized version of young women is out there. That will probably be the case as long as men are writing movies, just as the male equivalent of the MPDG – the ridiculously handsome man with washboard abs who manages to accumulate much wealth despite always being around to tend to a woman’s needs and whisk her off to beaches on his private jet – will always exist as long as women are fantasizing about them and flocking to see them in rom-com-drams and reading about them in romance novels.

A little healthy fantasy is fine, but movie tropes and stereotypes are not, if we believe they can shape how we live in real life. Manic Pixie Drew Girls, though not totally a thing of the past (Joi, the A.I. girlfriend in 2017’s “Blade Runner 2049,” comes to mind as an updated version), are becoming outdated as more and more females are having their voices heard in Hollywood. MPDGs are being replaced by independent women who are the focus of the story and don’t have to be bubbly if they don’t feel like it, who aren’t required to be quirky and can chase their own happiness. These characters, unlike Manic Pixie Dream Girls, are multidimensional. They give a movie depth, not just gloss.

Imagine if that’s the kind of character Dunst’s Claire could have been. “Elizabethtown” wouldn’t show up on so many Worst Movie Ever lists. And it wouldn’t have been forever linked to a tired movie trope and the terminology to describe it.

[kingofthewilderwest]

The ridiculous thing about bigotted Christians freaking out about an 'upside down cross = demonic' is that---- it originally wasn't? like it was meant to represent humility because one of the apostles got crucified upside down so as to not be crucified the same way as jesus and so like- that's the least demonic thing ever? but of course it then got appropriated by edgy- 'anti-religious' jerks and lost it's original meaning...

I love my faith and I love my God, and while there’s many great forms of scholastic study and lovingkindness going through the modern church… there are also those enormous and worrisome pockets of… ignorance and lack of education. Like this guy.

I was literally thinking about that too when he mentioned the inverted cross! [high fives you] The traditional account of Peter’s death arose through Christian texts.

I think this evidence is a bit of a stretch, but some people have used John 21:18-19 as reference to it:

“Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God.

But the tradition was more clearly introduced to us through apocryphal Early Church writings. And honestly it got brought up really early too! Like, I’m talking Clement in his Letters to the Corinthians talked about Peter being martyred circa 90 C.E. - around the same time some Gospels were probably written!

Peter, through unrighteous envy, endured not one or two, but numerous labors; and when he had at length suffered martyrdom, departed to the place of glory due to him.

Peter was first mentioned to be crucified upside-down circa 180-200 C.E. in The Acts of Peter:

I beseech you the executioners, crucify me thus, with the head downward and not otherwise: and the reason wherefore, I will tell unto them that hear. 

And when they had hanged him up after the manner he desired, he began again to say: 

“Ye men unto whom it belongeth to hear, hearken to that which I shall declare unto you at this especial time as I hang here. Learn ye the mystery of all nature, and the beginning of all things, what it was. For the first man, whose race I bear in mine appearance, fell head downwards, and showed forth a manner of birth such as was not heretofore: for it was dead, having no motion.”

[yada yada yada he yaks some more, learn to be brief, my dude]

“For it is right to mount upon the cross of Christ, who is the word stretched out, the one and only, of whom the spirit saith: For what else is Christ, but the word, the sound of God?”

Tertullian, a bigass name in Early Church writings, described in Ch. 15 of Scorpiace, written sometime between 203 and 211 C.E.:

At Rome Nero was the first who stained with blood the rising faith. Then is Peter girt by another, John 21:18 when he is made fast to the cross.

And Eusebius of Caesarea, who’s ALSO rather well-read as a Christian Church Father, who I keep going back to time and time again in my extrabiblical studies, wrote in the fourth century in Book III of his Ecclesiastical History:

Peter appears to have preached in Pontus, Galatia, Bithynia, Cappadocia, and Asia to the Jews of the dispersion. And at last, having come to Rome, he was crucified head-downwards; for he had requested that he might suffer in this way.

Whether or not it happened, I mean, I’m not the one to say. I wasn’t there back then. But it’s obviously not “evil” where the inverted cross concept came from. It’s also… blatantly Christian. I’m making that should-be-obvious distinction because, SHOUTING TO THE IDIOT JUDGERS IN THE BACK, NON-CHRISTIAN DOES NOT MEAN “EVIL” aurghghghg.

Like… the inverted cross… The Cross of Saint Peter… is sort of A SYMBOL FOR THE POPE because he’s the successor of Peter????

Now like. Everyday Christians don’t make a habit of wearing upside-down crosses, that’s true. And sure, in recent years it has been used by non-Christian groups. But like. That doesn’t matter to me anyway. I know is has connections to anti-religion and SORT of isshhh Satanism (BUT!! the prime symbol of Satanists is actually the Sigil of Baphomet):

Literature has long depicted anyone who has embraced Satan and thus rejected Jesus as having embraced the reversed cross as symbolic of that act. Satanists are free to employ any symbols which they feel have resonance, so if such an upside-down cross has personal meaning they could use it.

But like, I don’t care if it has connections to that. That’s not some indicator saying people are inherently horrible evil blights of humanity who’ve lost their moral way. Yikes. :( Contrarily, every human’s soul is beautiful, valuable, and important. We’re all equally capable as humans of acting kindly or falling down bad roads, doesn’t matter what religion you affiliate with. There are infinite beautiful, loving, cherishing, morally-conscious souls who hate religion… or simply enjoy heavy metal music. We need to stop judging people based upon what religion they follow, and appreciate everyone for the beauty they bring this world.

And frankly… what’s weirder? The fact that some people put a cross upside-down to protest or maaaaybe be edgy against an organized religion that has legitimate ongoing societal issues… or the religion itself which decided “Let’s wear a torture device on our necks!!!”

(I do wear crosses, but I will mock myself for that anyway. It *IS* a weird tradition, that *WE* appropriated a symbol of execution to become a symbol of salvation.)

The fact this dude got immediately scared of me for wearing a symbol ain’t good. Even if I HAD been wearing it as some anti-religious emblem, that doesn’t mean we should judge someone else as being “bad.” Someone not being of the same religion as you doesn’t mean they’re evil, for crying out loud. And turns out this guy was flagging down a theologically well-studied worship pastor’s kid.

(And for the record, his “scary upside-down cross” was just Bill Cipher’s top hat, oh dear Thor.)

I’m not going to be scared seeing someone with an inverted cross. It’s the swastika I care about. And guess what? Some of those fucking assholes who wear that sign also wear a right side up cross.

P.S. If I accidentally messed something up, I am so sorry and I did not intend to! Let me know and I’ll fix the post.

[taste-in-music]

It’s been four years, so let’s talk about LOVE + FEAR!

MARINA dropped the diamonds and came back swinging with her fourth studio album, a two part experience built around the concept that all positive emotions stem from LOVE and all negative emotions stem from FEAR. Up until this point, I’ve heard the LOVE side of the album, but I thought that I would give my thoughts on each song on the record, as well as my overall consensus. There are sixteen songs, so sit back, grab a snack, listen along to the album with me if you want, and let’s dive right in. 

LOVE

Handmade Heaven

I 👀 ENVY 😑 THE BIRDS 🦅, HIGH UP IN THE 🌲 TREES 😊

I’ve talked before about how much I love this song, so I’ll try not to say to much 

the production on this song is so lush, with the trilling flutes, pianos, gently tapping cymbals, and explosion at the chorus. this song just feels so grand and larger than life. we stan this production

this is definitely one of the strongest tracks on the album, if not the strongest

Superstar

I’m not going to lie, this isn’t one of my favorite tracks. I think the lyrics are kind of flat (despite this song having four writers,) and the production just doesn’t do that much for me

however, I do like the sparkly and fun drop, and, as always, MARINA’s vocals

Orange Trees

I’m just in love with those “🍊𝓸𝕆𝖔๏ⓞ𝓸𝕆𝖔๏range 𝓸𝕆𝖔๏ⓞ𝓸𝕆𝖔๏range🍊” riffs

this is definitely a bop. it makes me want to sprawl out on a beach so damn badly

I can see this song getting giant this summer. I hope it does, it’s the kind of song we need on the radio right now

this song makes me want to jet set to Greece

Baby ft. Clean Bandit & Luis Fonsi

you know what? some people I’ve seen in the MARINA fandom don’t like this song because they think it’s “basic” or “too mainstream,” but I don’t mind it at all

Clean Bandit’s production is sharp as hell here, the Latin influences like the guitar and beat in the instrumental help it stand out from the rest of MARINA’s discography and also make me want to dance. I don’t mind Fonsi’s presence either, I think he and MARINA have pretty good vocal chemistry

especially that chrous! say it doesn’t slap, I dare you

I can understand the critique that this song doesn’t really fit in the with the flow of the album, I don’t mind its presence here. if anything, it’s a refreshing switch up 

Enjoy Your Life

this does work as a song to listen to if you just need to feel better

I don’t know if this was intentional, but the way the lyrics are written kind of make it seem like the song’s message is to just sit back and enjoy your life despite anything wrong that might be going on. I get what this is trying to communicate, but you don’t necessarily have to “sit back and enjoy your problems” and “might as well accept” your lot if you’re unhappy. you just have to be proactive and work to fix whatever it is you’re unhappy with. I don’t believe MARINA is saying that you should be passive and just let anything happen to you, I just think this song would hit a little harder if it mentioned how you can go about improving and enjoying your life 

True

the chorus of this song low key goes hard as fuck, it’s so damn catchy

nothing much else to say about this song

To Be Human

the imagery in these lyrics really elevate this song. little details like the “gold leaf” on the buildings, “Lenin's body lying dead" in the Red Square, and the village “where [her] father’s from” are just beautiful.

more great lines! “the missiles and the bombs sound like symphonies gone wrong,” “and if there is a god, they will know why it’s so hard to be human”

“Savages” may have been MARINA roasting humanity, but this song is her appreciating it. while this song might not have quite the biting, poetic wit of “Savages,” it still has some of the sharpest writing on this album

End Of The Earth

that vocal processing at the start of the song might only last a handful of seconds, but I really like it

also, those dark synths are great

this song has a more entrancing atmosphere, and works as an interesting transition track from LOVE to FEAR

FEAR

Believe In Love

the synthy bassline at the start of this song is giving me major Grimes vibes

the restrained and almost whispered vocal delivery is a nice change of pace form the LOVE portion of the album, but some of the vocal processing messes with MARINA’s rich tone and it’s kind of annoying. just let her sing, she has a great voice!

I love how the lyrics of the songs link together the themes of love and fear, like the final line in the chorus: “losing you is what I'm afraid of, I need to believe in love” 

Life Is Strange

yesss, violins! and tambourine?

we’re dipping back into those sweeping themes of humanity and human nature, like on To Be Human and Savages

“is it ever gonna be enough to love another and be loved?” IS THAT A MOWGLI’S ROAD REFERENCE I HEAR??! cuckoo bitches! (I guess she really does envy the birds high up in the trees)

“seems like everybody's having the best time of their lives but we don't know what's going on at any given time” is a big fat schmood

still, I wish the lyrics went more in depth here, like there were more specific details or music on why things are the way that they are

You

I’m sensing another tropical beat here

this is a real treat if you’re listening with headphones. that vocal warping on the “you”s in the background are fun

I wish that this drop had more oomph to it. it feels kind of like an anti-climax

the flowing feel of this song is nice. if I had one word to describe this song it would be “nice.” it’s not too over the top or surprising but I don’t hate it either

Karma

some more Latin-y guitars like the ones on Baby, as well as some hi-hats? I’m excited to see how this song builds

this song is giving me flashbacks to The Family Jewels with the “oh my god” and Electra Heart with the “heartbreaker” name drop. 

something about those “doubt doubt doubts” remind me of the DJ Snake remix of “You Know You Like It” by AlunaGeorge. on that note, what the heck ever happened to AlunaGeorge?

this song is very melodically satisfying, especially the chorus, but I still can’t help but feel like this song is missing something. maybe harder-hitting percussion? some bass? I can’t quite put my finger on it

I still like that there’s some more sass on this track, with the vocal delivery and in the lyrics

Emotional Machine

everyone’s been shitting their pants over this song, so I’m excited to hear it for the first time

that “I’m a ,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~ må¢hᵢïᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦᶦiᵢñê,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~ ” really threw me for a loop and it’s fucking great there’s that MARINA weirdness I know and love!

Too Afraid

I don’t really have anything to say about this song. it’s fine, but there isn’t anything that special about it

the lyrics are kind of relatable, at least. with the idea of being afraid to open up in a relationship and be vulnerable

No More Suckers

everyone has also been shitting their pants over this song, but in a less enthusiastic way than with “Emotional Machine.” let’s pray this is an underrated bop

I like those peppering piano notes in the background, it’s very summery and fun

the instrumental reminds me of “Cheap Thrills” by Sia a little bit?

“you eat all of my food” and “you mess up all my towels” made me laugh out loud. are these suckers just really bad house guests? it kind of plunges so far into the valley of ridiculous that it rebounds back to being great

at least there’s a bit more sass and personality on this track

I don’t see why people dislike this. it’s about on par with the other songs on the album so far, at least for me

Soft To Be Strong

her vocals on this track are so lovely and delicate

“I choose to love you without fear, no shame in being sincere” is a really good lyric, I appreciate its sentiment 

the way the production builds up near the end allows the song to gain more momentum, especially with those echoing background vocals and prominent drums. there’s some of that oomph I was looking for 

My Thoughts Summarized: I’m all for artists evolving with their sound. Of course somebody who has been in the game as song as MARINA is going to sound different now then when she did back in 2010 with The Family Jewels when she was in her early twenties, and she has every right in the world to make the music that she wants to and that makes her happy. But something about a majority of the songs on this album don’t invoke the enthusiasm that I have for songs of hers on other albums. One of the qualities of MARINA’s that I especially admire is her strong lyricism, and the lyrics on some of these songs just fell a little flat for me, not going into detail or being clever with their wordplay. Along with that, the production on all the songs never really goes there, if you know what I mean. I was expecting a little bit more experimentation or change-ups in sound as the album progressed, and I didn’t really get that. As always, MARINA’s vocals are great throughout the entirety of the album. I just love how complex and unique her voice is, and I’m convinced she could sing “Happy Birthday” and have it sound amazing. To me, the best tracks are Handmade Heaven and To Be Human, which showcase strong writing and grander-scale production.

slay goddess aslhldghsdklgda 

Overall, LOVE + FEAR is a pretty standard pop album. It’s not my personal favorite in MARINA’s discography, but there are some standout tracks and moments that will stick with you after every listen. What did you think of LOVE + FEAR? Agree or disagree? Comment or reblog with your thoughts, I’m excited to hear what you think.

[stars--n--stripes-blog]

Anti-feminists continue their unapologetic efforts to destroy women’s sports at all levels.  Not satisfied to just ruin high school girls’ athletics, they are setting their sights higher.

This week’s headline indicated that Juniper Eastwood, a University of Montana cross-country runner, will become the first transgender (i.e. biological male) athlete to compete as a female in division I cross country.

Anyone want to bet against him completely dominating his sport?  No disrespect intended towards Eastwood, but he is a biological male.  This means that, no matter how much testosterone blockers that he takes, he will still have a massive built-in advantage in strength, speed and athleticism.

As a recent report from Journal of Medical Ethics indicated, “Science demonstrates that high testosterone and other male physiology provides a performance advantage in sport suggesting that transwomen retain some of that advantage. To determine whether the advantage is unfair necessitates an ethical analysis of the principles of inclusion and fairness.”

Another study by the Karolinska Institute in Sweden found that the “effect of the hormone treatment in relation to reducing leg muscle strength, is almost negligible for men who transition to become women.”

The reports were largely unnecessary, since there is already overwhelming anecdotal evidence of these facts since middle-of-the-pack male athletes who identify as women are dominating female high school sports wherever they are given that opportunity, regardless of whatever drugs they are taking.  You hardly ever see the reverse, since a female who identifies as a male cannot compete in male sports.

The Journal of Medical Ethics reluctantly admitted that transgender females have a built-in advantage but then, fearful of the liberal backlash and unwilling to challenge liberal orthodoxy, implied that might be a wonderful thing in the interest of inclusion and fairness.

This is also why you see headlines like the one in Slate that recently trumpeted that ”Betsy DeVos may force high schools to discriminate against trans athletes.”

Apparently, protecting women from having to compete against men is a horrible act of discrimination.  While DeVos may be viewed as a cross between Cersei Lannister and Darth Vader in liberal circles and within the insanely liberal department she heads, she is adopting both a logical and feminist position.  She is trying to protect girls from having to compete unfairly against biologically stronger and more athletic men.

No matter how you spin it, that is exactly what is happening.  The best female high school athletes in the country in twenty states are now routinely being demolished by boys who identify as girls.  One would think that feminists would throw their full support behind DeVos, but they despise her for it.

Liberal support largely boils down to their embrace of “intersectionality,” which is all the rage in academic circles.  Intersectionality was a concept introduced in 1989 by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a civil rights activist and legal scholar.  In practice, it sets up a hierarchy of grievances, where the highest consideration and support must be given to those with the highest grievance score.

On the hierarchy of grievances, a false (transgender) female scores higher than an actual (cisgender) female.  Faux feminists rush to throw their support behind biological males as they destroy women’s sport while the real feminists, most of whom are now conservatives, try to protect women.  It’s toxic liberal virtue signaling on steroids.

Anyone with common sense understands that there are only two biological genders, regardless of how many genders liberals deem to exist.  I realize that Joe Biden is out searching for that elusive third gender, but he isn’t going to find it. At the same time, presidential candidate Julian Castro is trying to protect transgender female’s right to an abortion, proving that no position is too ridiculous to adopt in the grievance sweepstakes.      

The fact that males are better athletes than females has nothing to do with privilege and everything to do with science.  As a general rule, the average male is stronger, faster, and more athletic than the average female.  They start receiving a massive amount of testosterone at puberty resulting in a significant athletic gap.  Again, any C-grade freshman biology student should understand this reality.

On a typical high school track team, the worst-performing male athletes regularly record better times than the best-performing female athletes. When I was in high school, we boasted the best female cross-country runner in the country.  She was an absolute running machine, but had she been on the men’s team, she would have been the fourth best runner.   That’s no small gap.

When Martina Navratilova, not exactly a conservative icon, complained about the blatantly unfair situation, she came under such withering attacks from her former allies that she eventually apologized. No one is allowed to wander off the insane liberal plantation.  She should have stood by her words because they were 100% true.

She said, "…a man can decide to be female, take hormones if required by whatever sporting organization is concerned, win everything in sight and perhaps earn a small fortune, and then reverse his decision and go back to making babies if he so desires.  It's insane and it's cheating… I would not be happy to compete against her. It would not be fair."

But, the new feminist position is that we should cheer as men destroy women’s sports.  This is an illogical and anti-woman outrage.  Most of the true remaining feminists based upon the classic definition of fighting for women’s rights and equality are now conservatives.

By Fletch Daniels

[impulserp]

I could’ve sworn I saw that ‘97 LINER, KATHERINE AKAHOSHI walking down the street! She’s the MAIN DANCER of SENSE and goes by the name of KT. She really reminds me of HIRAI MOMO, can’t you see it? 

ＰＥＲＳＯＮＡＬＩＴＹ

Katherine tends to be the more ‘girl crush’ of the group. She slides into the harder concepts a lot easier than she does the cuter side. That being said, she tends to keep this image throughout her time on vlives, variety shows, and interviews. KT simply does not do cute, and if she does, it is begrudgingly. Though, this is only an act, for the most part. While Katherine is rough and tumbles off stage, and is a tomboy above all else, her true personality is a lot less masculine than she portrays on camera. The brash American is a bit of what she has been cast into rather than something she feels reflects more than just a surface level aspect of her personality. She cries very easily, something her stage persona wouldn’t do. She is quite cuddly, enjoying physical affection, something her stage persona wouldn’t like. Her love of Disney Princesses is something her persona could and would never declare. To say she is jealous of her members for having cute plush toys given to them or more adorable fan interactions would be an understatement. While Katherine is very happy she rarely gets asked to do aegyo except for times where it is played off as a joke, she somewhat yearns for the kind of fan connection her other members have.

ＩＮＴＥＲＶＩＥＷ

If given the chance, Katherine would show off her softer side true. A very emotional and passionate being, she isn’t just the tomboy the company has pushed forth. The femininity she struggles to show both on and offstage would be more present. Less resentment towards anything girly. While she is still not a girly person, Katherine thinks her current image is rather ridiculous. She feels she can have girly interests such as princesses, pink and flowers while still being a tomboy, and if given the chance, she would show more depth to herself. Whether or not this would be successful is uncertain. Katherine knows she is there to appeal to girls. Boyish personality, mixed in with a ‘strong’ attitude means anything soft would take away from the 'girl crush’ image.

ＳＣＡＮＤＡＬ

Picture of supposedly her underage drinking in the States as a teen. (it was her). Light Entertainment released a public statement that it was not her, and given how blurry the image is, it has been deemed debunked. Some anti-fans still bring it up.

ＢＩＯＧＲＡＰＨＹ

Trigger Warnings: Casual Racism

They were young when they knew they were going to have a child. And both reminded each other that they can get through it. Neither of their parents agreed with them having a child at such a young age, but John had a duty. He could still go to school and work to make ends meet, as a friend working the night shifts would be able to watch the child during the day. He was going to take care of his child, regardless. Only a few weeks after Katherine was born, her mother walked out. No trace, no note, just the clothing from her side of the closet was gone, her shoes and keys. Any trace of her was removed from the house.

And there John was, holding onto his daughter knowing he was the only thing she had. He dropped out of his studies, putting in the effort during the night to make sure Katherine was taken care of. A decent job writing freelance made it easier for him to be home full time, even if the pay wasn’t very consistent. A smaller apartment in New York would do, for now. The single room would be for her, and the couch would be for him. Even if money was tight, he wanted to make sure Katherine didn’t feel any of it.

With each stage Katherine had, her father made sure she got to experience it. The love of princesses and Disney films was the phase she never quite grew out of. Taking extra articles to make sure she could have the toys she wanted for whatever movie came out. Making whatever cuts he needed to ensure that Katherine could be given the dance lessons she needed to ‘be like a princess’. While eventually, Katherine grew out of her princess stage, going so far as to deny she even had one for a good chunk of her pre-teen years, dance had always stuck with her.

Her schooling was never impressive, Katherine found her way into the rougher of circles, dance was the one thing she excelled at, and felt she was skilled in. Katherine was passionate about it, spending most of her hours ignoring her schoolwork in favor of long practices.

A group of students, erroneously mistaking her for Korean, asked if she knew of the Korean Pop dances and if she was willing to teach them. With corrections to her being Japanese, and no she could not teach them a language she didn’t know, she agreed to help them learn the dances. The troupe was born. A few videos on YouTube were just for fun, to share their dances with online friends and to send it to family. Nothing special. And Katherine was enjoying the music. The industry had an interesting selection of music, mainly solo artists, that she followed. And the groups had fun dance numbers to learn. From boy groups to girl groups, Katherine and her troupe were learning just about anything that caught their eye.

Being cast was an accident. The reason for joining the dance troupe was never to be noticed by an entertainment company. It anything, it was a way to get in extra practice before eventually working a teacher for the dance studio she attended. A record to show that she was a capable dancer that could easily teach a new line of future artists. But at sixteen, the offer presented her a future she couldn’t pass up. Perhaps be a woman younger girls can look up to, fantasize about being, much like she did with her princesses.

Katherine took the opportunity to be a trainee under Light Entertainment. Adjusting to everything was rough. The amount of dance and vigorous training was nothing new to her. She had already subjected herself to that regiment back in the States to ensure her goal as a dancer would be met. The culture was different. The loud, abrasive personality she had didn’t gel well with the more conservative Korean culture. The language and her thick accent prove to be extremely difficult. While attended an international school, the Korean lessons were never easy for Katherine. Even now, speaking and reading it is fine, writing it is still just as difficult as it was when she was learning the language.

After three years of trying her best to adjust to life as a trainees, Katherine’s name was tossed around for a possible girl group. And Katherine felt her stomach flip. Even with all her time preparing for debut as an idol, the idea becoming something tangible never felt real. She wasn’t exactly idol material, still. Her personality was still a bit brash for a girl group, especially given Aurora’s original concept. The idea of cute or aegyo being thrown her way was out of the question, but it was a contract she signed. As debut rolled closer, and everything was being set, a bit of relief fell over Katherine. A group that focused more on dance songs was more her style.

Though, debut was still not easy for her. The language was the biggest issue. Katherine, during interviews, was particularly slow to answer questions as she translated them in her head before answering. She often lost words or phrases and was unable to find the right Korean replacement. Netizens and the public were not impressed.

After three years, her Korean had gotten leaps and bounds better, often earning compliments from hosts after seeing her improvements. The struggle is still there. As Sense constantly moves concepts, the cuter, more silly ones don’t feel like Katherine at all. Smiling through them, pushing through the cutesy choreography and lyrics proves itself to be difficult. With fans, mainly girl fans, Katherine knows she has to stomach it for those who look up to her.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The First Purge review

The Purge is such a fascinating series to me in that it goes through the reverse of what you might expect a series to go through. The first film had an interesting concept - a night of legalized crime in which society indulges in its most base desires and goes about murdering - but instead of exploring or even SHOWING us this, instead we get a s0-so home invasion film where a rich white couple fights off masked intruders. Yawn.

But then came the sequels, and with them the director seemed to realize all of the social and political commentary that could be mined from such a subject as the Purge, and by god did they run with it. This is a series that ascended in quality, with the sequels just getting better and better, and while you can debate which film is the best in the series, no one will ever say it’s the first one.

Because of all this, I think I can safely say at this point I love The Purge series. Its lack of subtlety in its social commentary and political criticisms combined with its over-the-top violence and sinister government conspiracies makes me incredibly endeared to it; I think we all too often forget subtlety is not always the best, and in the current political climate I think The Purge series is kinda the hot cup of tea we need to be served. And out of all the movies in the series, The First Purge may be the hottest cup of tea of all.

So you know that criticism the films get, where “Oh, everyone goes out to kill? That’s so unrealistic, people would probably just vandalize or do drugs or whatever, why is it murder?” Well, this movie, in showing the test run for what became the Purge, shows us… exactly that. Despite the government offering money to poor, disenfranchised, and struggling people on Staten Island, the testing grounds for this new system… they record one murder done by a man named Skeletor, who was an insane, frothing-at-the-mouth violent lunatic before any of this. Everyone else? They’re having block parties, fucking in public, or just messing with people. The worst crimes in the early hours are the murders Skeletor commits and some robberies committed by people who were already drug-dealing gangsters. There’s also a creepy guy wearing a crying baby doll on his face who set up a trap so he can grab women and drag them into the sewer so he can grab their pussies, but that’s neither here nor there; the point is, the Purge isn’t doing what the evil political party the New Founding Fathers want. So what do they do? They decide to fudge the results of this test by flying in mercenaries, Klansmen, just real fucking evil and violent people, to massacre the poor so that they can get the numbers up. This isn’t really a spoiler - this is all stuff proudly displayed in the sequels - but seeing how even early on the government twisted a social experiment so they could sell legalized murder of the poor to the public is truly disturbing.

Our heroes are gangster Dmitri, his ex girlfriend and anti-Purge protestor Nya, and her little brother Isaiah who has decided to go out so he can kill Skeletor. Can they survive this night? I mean, we know the Purge is gonna be going on for another couple of decades at least, but will these guys be ok?

So the film is about as subtle as a brick to the face, as I’m sure you can tell from what I described, but I think that’s what makes me say this is the smartest film in the series. Our country NEEDS a lack of subtlety right now. And I think we forget that sometimes a lack of subtlety helps make a compelling narrative; look at American History X, for example. That movie is entirely unsubtle, but it is effective and well done. Now, I’m not saying this film is as good as American History X, but I do think this movie’s lack of subtlety helps it along. Every major character in the film is a minority of some kind - our main characters are all black, and we see Asians, Latinos, even an older gay couple. Pretty much everyone in this film is struggling or poverty-stricken. And the villains? An evil group of sadistic government assholes who think slaughtering the poor is the best way to help the public, and when people don’t wanna buy into it, they create a false flag operation to sell the idea of legalized killing. There’s really no good white people in this movie, save for, interestingly enough, the woman who came up with the idea of the Purge in the first place. While at first she seems as evil and politically motivated as any other person working for the NFFA, as soon as she notices things getting ultra violent she becomes suspicious and finds out her test’s data is being fudged by mercs being flown in to kill the poor. She gets shipped off to Staten Island and killed for her trouble. Like I said, UNSUBTLE. But it is pretty effective.

The most fascinating character in this film is probably Skeletor, an absolutely insane black man who signed up for this night so he could get paid for indiscriminately killing people. He’s the kind of utterly fanatical murderer you’d expect from this series, and his actor Rotimi Paul steals every single scene he’s in. It makes it all the more of a letdown when he doesn’t get the honor of a final fight with the protagonists, despite being set up as a major villain, but even his anti-climactic ending is pretty cool as he manages to sneak up on and kill armed soldiers while being nearly naked.

And of course it wouldn’t be a Purge film without a bunch of creeps in masks. We have the baby-doll pussy grabber, we have a creepy rag face guy who just walks down a hallway creepily, we have this insane butcher guy in what looks like a welding mask, and best of all, in the final battle, we have what I can only describe as… a Gimp Nazi. For some more general mooks we also have truckloads of Klansmen as well as some masked cops who beat down a black man in… well do I REALLY need to explain what they’re going for there? Unsubtle, remember. Of course, with all these nasty folk out and about, it becomes extremely cathartic to watch them get stabbed, neck snapped, and gunned down by our heroes. Let me tell you, seeing Klansmen murdered is always a good time.

Honestly, this movie is an excellent example of a modern Blaxploitation film; it has pretty much all the trappings of the genre, as it’s set in a poor neighborhood, has a majority black cast, features the protagonists fighting against The Man and the oppression of evil white folk… all that’s missing is some kung-fu and some more funk in the soundtrack. And that just makes me love the film all the more, because boy do I love me some blaxploitation.

I highly recommend this movie. It’s really great; unsubtle, yes, definitely, but great. Sadly, I think this movie is not going to do quite as well as I think it deserves to. The way our society is right now, people get really hostile at any sort of indictment of modern politics; any criticism of our dumbass president is met with angry people getting offended that someone dares to criticize a soulless politician (a redundant phrase, I know). We just live in a time and place where people are just really hostile towards any sort of social or political commentary, and I sadly think this movie will be a victim of it due to its indictment of conservative ideology, racism, and Trump-era politics. It’s not a shock to me that most of the reviews of this on IMDB are all colored with some sort of anger that this film has the AUDACITY to try and be intelligent, with a good chunk of reviews calling it “biased” and “political propaganda”… oh well. I pray this movie finds its audience, either now or in the future. Because boy oh boy do I believe it deserves it.

Long live The Purge.

BUT WAIT! Just to prove my point… take a look at some of these excerpts from a few absolutely ridiculous IMDB user reviews! We’ve got it all here folks!

Accusations of being written by children combined with whining about how this film is made to “Divide” while also throwing in potshots at Star Wars and Get Out? CHECK!

Accusations of race baiting? CHECK!

Complaining about criticisms of Trump? CHECK! As an added bonus, this guy cancelled his ticket - hey buddy, how’d you review this film opening day if you didn’t go?

Crying about how the film is propaganda? Cheeeeeeeeeeeck!

Whining about BLM? Oh boy do we got a big old check!

And hey let’s just have one more whiny little bitch before we go:

[minaminokyoko]

Venom: A Spoilertastic Review (that is mostly just a rant)

When the end credits to the Venom movie started, just as Eminem began his embarrassingly uninspired rapping, I turned my head to one of my two friends and asked her, "What the hell did I just put into my eyeballs?"

To be frank, Venom is one of the most peculiar, bizarre, baffling films I've seen in years.

I want to preface this review by saying I was against this idea when it was announced. I thought it was beyond idiotic to make a film about a supervillain whose entire creation hinges on a certain Webhead, and since Sony lent him out to Marvel Studios (the only smart fucking decision they've made in probably over a decade, imo), they went off half-cocked with the hair-brained idea that they could create an anti-hero solo flick for Venom instead. To some degree, sure, they were warranted because the general audience these days has low fucking standards and if you put the words "comic book movie" in front of them, they're usually going to lap it up no matter how terrible it is. After all, fandom doesn't care about things being accurate anymore, by this point, if you dangle fresh meat like Tom Hardy riding a motorcycle in front of them. As long as there's an attractive person at the helm, fandom will just adopt it as canon and ignore any red flags, as they have already done. That being said, I still think this is one of the most blatantly stupid things done for money and for notoriety from any studio toting around a popular comic book character.

Is Venom as bad as legendary awful comic book movies like Catwoman, The Spirit, Batman & Robin, Daredevil, Green Lantern, or Spawn?

Well, no.

And that's almost the only positive thing I can report about it, personally. 

In short, Venom is inept. That's the word I'd choose, aside from bizarre. It has no fucking clue what it's doing at any given time, from start to finish. It's too wacky to be serious, too serious to be a parody or satire, too mature for kids, too childish for adults, too mainstream for nerds, and too nerdy for mainstream. It's just a piping hot fucking mess.

So let's dive into why. Spoiler alert.

Overall Rating: D

Pros:

-Note: I am being very fucking generous by giving this movie points for anything at all, just so y'all know.

-It's not boring. Other comic book movies that have failed, whether it's the really bad kind or just the mediocre kind, have failed worse than this movie simply because at least there aren't any dead periods. Venom doesn't have awful pacing, even with its sloppy, uneven story. It moves along at a steady rate and you can never accuse it of being a borefest like Superman Returns or something. Even though most of it is incomprehensible from a story standpoint, it keeps your attention throughout.

-The doctor boyfriend surprisingly averted the usual stereotype/archetype for this kind of story. For example, in the first Ant Man, the cop boyfriend who is with Scott's baby mama is a smug, overprotective dickhead who later gets better. Most of the time when a main couple breaks up, the girl picks some douchebag who is either so much better than her former lover that it just feels insulting or it's just a one-dimensional asshole for us to hate so we want the two of them to get back together. Hell, doctor boyfriend was actually TOO nice and understanding and helpful. There is no way in hell I'd have stuck it out after seeing Eddie bite the head off a goddamn lobster. I'd have sent his ass to a mental hospital immediately, fuck the regular hospital. That being said, I like the movie averting the trope. It was a welcome change and was awfully refreshing too.

-Even though this is one of his strangest fucking performances to date, Tom Hardy is doing what he always does and gives 110% to a film that really doesn't even deserve him. I've already been hearing rumors that he's not pleased with the final product and that doesn't surprise me, but he does what he can with that awful script and I appreciate the effort. In fact, the only reason I sat through this turd is for Tom Hardy. He is a dedicated, talented actor and even when he's in tripe, he's still busting his beautiful ass to make the best of it anyway. I like him a lot and I'd go to bat for him any day, which is the only reason I coughed up the money for Venom when I knew damn well it'd be a trainwreck.

-The effects are at least decent. Not always. But Venom and the symbiotes actually feel as if they're really there and it's not just the actors staring at a ball on a stick. I appreciate it, since Sony goes in and out of quality regarding CGI.

-Despite the fucking travesty of a fake clown wig on his head, Woody Harrelson is an excellent choice for Cletus Kasady. Everyone knows that. I just hope they get him a better hairpiece next time, sheesh.

Cons:

-Jesus fucking Christ, where do I fucking start?

-Plotholes. This movie doesn't have plotholes--it has plot canyons. It's plothole Inception, for God's sake, with holes inside of fucking holes. It's so clear that the movie doesn't give a rat's ass about anything because there are some of the most ridiculous moments you're expected to swallow with the power of Willing Suspension of Disbelief. It's why it took me a whole two days to try and write a review/analysis of the film. There is so much wrong with it that I frankly wasn't sure where to start and how to process it all. The best I can try to do considering the overwhelming number of holes in the story is go chronologically. First off, Eddie stealing Blondie's confidential documents (Note: Michelle Williams' character was so bland and unimportant I can't remember her name and I don't care to look it up because we all know she doesn't matter, so she is now Blondie) but then not doing his actual job as a journalist when making wild accusations is the first monumentally dumb thing in the film. Why the hell did he go through the trouble of breaching her personal security and trust if all he was going to do was rant about it to the Bad Guy without proof? What did he think it would accomplish? Why would you just confront the guy instead of looking for more proof? Plus, you stole that information, which means it's inadmissable in court since it was obtained illegally, so you still wouldn't have a case anyhow. Any writer with half a brain cell would simply have it so that Eddie read the document, became curious, and started snooping around Life Foundation himself looking for hard evidence that would stand up in court to get justice for the victims. The way they did it in the film makes no sense, but it's because they wanted to bust up the couple and make Eddie a "loser" to kickstart the rest of the film. Then, the girl who tattled on the Life Foundation 100% did not need Eddie Brock to do that. She had full access to the lab and the trust of her superior. All she had to do was document everything herself, send it to Eddie to pass along to his boss, and then skip town with her fucking kids to avoid being murdered. Hell, she could have given it to the authorities anonymously. Third, why after everything went tits up in the lab did she fucking return to the lab as if they wouldn't immediately know it was her? She was seen outside the lab seconds before Eddie set off the alarms and her palm print is recorded having opened the door to the lab. Why the fuck did she go back after she let Eddie in there with no way to cover her tracks? And then she actually told on herself and Eddie, which led to her death. I can't comprehend that level of stupidity at all. It's staggering. Because I'm trying not to turn this into a seven-page single spaced review, I'm just going to stop here and not try to point out all the other plotholes in detail, like the fact that the cops only get involved one time and are never seen again despite the fact that they'd be all over the explosions and missing people associated with the Life Foundation or Eddie's phone working perfectly after he swam under the fucking bridge or Eddie leaving his phone for his boss instead of just sending him the goddamn pictures or the symbiote magically knowing where Eddie was after they took him from the hospital. We'll be here all day if I keep going. I'll just reblog CinemaSins' eventual video of this movie and feel satisfied that way.

-The movie makes zero attempts at explaining anything about the symbiotes except for "they're vulnerable to fire and sound frequencies, need a host to survive, and eat brains." What is even stranger about the lack of explanation is that this isn't a long film. They could have easily added about ten minutes into the story to give us an overview of where they came from, what their world was like, how they found human contact, and why they were on that comet. All we can do is infer things, which pisses me off because this is YOUR story and YOUR new continuity that you just fucking made up on the fly, so I don't know the rules here and it's shitty of you to just gloss over it all. Why is it called Venom? Is that a translation from whatever the hell the symbiote was called on its own planet? Did it hear that somewhere and decide it liked the word? Why? Why does it get touchy if you call it a parasite when that is literally what it is? Is it like Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective and it's just in denial? We have to guess that it knows whatever Eddie knows, but why does it have any conceptual knowledge of romance and relationships when it attempts to get Eddie to apologize to Blondie or when it says it "likes" her? Or that Eddie "changed its mind" at the end? And how can a symbiote even be a loser? That concept is almost universally human and it's a giant sentient piece of fucking tar? How can it possibly be a loser on its own planet? There is just no damn context for majority of the shit surrounding the symbiotes in the movie and it's all the more frustrating since we spend a great deal of time in the lab with them during the movie and yet we learn almost nothing.

-Eddie and the symbiote don't actually form a proper bond or partnership. This is one of the things that's irritating me about people who seem to have taken to the movie. I was told multiple times by people that the movie is stupid, but the repartee between Eddie and Venom is enjoyable. Not really, no. Are there quips? Yes, there are quips. But quips do not inherently create a bond. Anyone can bounce dialogue off each other. If said dialogue does not change the characters, then it's just lip service. Sadly, though, a lot of people don't notice that absolutely nothing between Eddie and Venom lines up. Venom helps Eddie survive the attacks, but is killing him in the process. It's self-interest alone. The truly confounding part is when they get Venom off of Eddie and find out Venom has basically been consuming Eddie's organs to stay alive inside him, Eddie acts betrayed and storms off, but then when Venom returns wearing Blondie as his guise, he just accepts it and they go off to the badly filmed climax. What the hell changed in between those scenes? Nothing. Eddie still runs the risk of dying being piloted by the symbiote, and while Eddie has motivation to stop Bad Guy (again, another character that is so thin I can't be bothered to learn his name) from bringing the symbiotes to earth, Venom is given zero reason to want that at all. As mentioned above, there's no backstory. Is Venom concerned his race will consume the earth? If so, who cares? There's seven billion people and Venom has already found Eddie, who is a suitable match for him to survive, so why does he care at all? Eddie would survive an invasion anyhow. It makes no damn sense. Films that have dealt with symbiotic relationships always establish a common ground at some point but Venom doesn't for some inexplicable reason. I'm incredibly frustrated that everyone's just going "tee hee, look, they're best friends now, it's cute" when in fact Eddie is just running around committing murder randomly without ever really contemplating how serious it is, even though he claims to only be eating bad people.

-Nitpick: Fridging two different female characters, the homeless lady and the Life Foundation tattletale, rubbed me entirely the wrong way. Both of them were in Eddie's vicinity, both die, and both are never brought up again or shown to have impacted Eddie's motivation or life. They are simply used and discarded, which is another thing that makes this movie feel so hollow.

-The tone is all over the fucking place. It can be argued that Venom never went full serious and is always sort of tongue-in-cheek, but there's just this ridiculous whiplash feeling when you watch it spike from an action scene to "wacky" Brock antics to Venom quips. Eddie's personality even before the symbiote is just confusing as hell. It's like stuffing a bunch of random character traits into one man and all of them are fighting to get out at once like the characters from Split. The most consistent thing is he's sarcastic, but even then his moods range far too widely to get a bead on him. He can be dry one minute and then frantic and excitable the next, and that's before the symbiote. After the symbiote, it's like they gave Tom Hardy cocaine and steroids. The man's acting is simply all over the damn place. He accepts near-impossible things sometimes with a shrug and other times he freaks out. The movie just doesn't know what the hell it's attempting to accomplish, and that's why mood and tone are important to set from the get-go with a film. It just slingshots between a faux-horror film and a snippy action flick over and over again until your head feels pulverized.

-The final action sequences is one of the dumbest, messiest things since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It's an ugly, dark, jumbled up mess. It's so indistinguishable that Godzilla (2014) can take potshots at it. Why in perfect blue hell did they choose two symbiotes with such similar appearances to showdown with each other on top of a rocket at night? It's so hard to see what the two of them are doing, who is winning or losing, or what kind of movement is happening at all. We also are never given the full range of their abilities, so the only real stake is when they pull off their hosts and their bodies are vulnerable, but even then it appears that Venom can raise Eddie from the dead seconds later anyhow. I'm stunned the movie couldn't even do a fake out death properly, which is so fucking easy that even Disney can do it. Eddie dies and is revived in less than fifteen goddamn seconds. The camera doesn't even linger on his body to sell the emotion (not that we'd ever have one, he is just barely a character anyway) before it just takes it right the hell back. That's filmmaking 101, for God's sake, and the movie blows it too.

-The last scene in the movie. In its entirety. I haven't been that exasperated since I stupidly forced myself to watch Pacific Rim: Uprising. There are so many things wrong with it that it's hard to know how to tackle it. I don't care that Eddie stopped that guy from extorting the shop owner--he openly turned into a 10 foot tall alien and ate a guy in front of her, and the movie just laughs and shrugs like it's just totally fine, like that woman isn't about to lose her shit, call the cops, or fuck, the NSA/FBI/CIA/Avengers on Eddie for making her a witness to murder, and endangering pretty much anyone around them. To say nothing of the fact that there is no reason a 10 foot tall alien with a million sharp teeth needs to say a single word to threaten someone. You are the threat, buddy. Your existence is the threat. Why did you need to insist on threatening to bite things off? You're terrifying and nothing you say is going to somehow make you scarier, especially when you just ate the guy anyway. It's like they just made that scene for the final trailer, much like that "I thought she was with you" comment all the way back in Batman v. Superman despite in-canon it made no sense. It's so unnecessary. And don't get me started on the fact that the crook actually asked the giant alien who it is. Fuck you. That was a lazy, transparent attempt to spoonfeed the wretched cliche that Michael Keaton's Batman made famous. (Consequently, all movies ever, please stop doing this cliche. Stop it. Just find another way to announce yourself. It's really tired, y'all, let it go already.) No human would ever look at that thing and ask it who the fuck it is. He'd piss himself and die of fright. Period. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Piss. Die. Period.

-Nitpick: Why was there that weird Godzilla (2014) trailer noise every time Venom attacked someone? Did they just steal it from public domain? They used it almost like the Inception horn cliche that Hollywood was obsessed with for a while and it took me right out of the scene every damn time.

-Nitpick: They really thought we're so stupid that we needed Kasady to actually say his character's name out loud. Look, you fuckers, you know goddamn well that end credits scenes are extras and that people can go home and Google things instead of you literally spelling it out for us. Hell, you know that not that many Average Joes and mainstream people went to this movie anyway since Venom is a second-stringer villain and your main demographic is die-hard Eddie Brock fans anyway. So having Kasady say the damn name “Carnage” in the post credits scene really was the final fart in my general direction. Give us some fucking credit, man. Venom has barely five plotlines to his whole character anyway. Of course we knew you were going to drop Carnage for the Sequel Hook, you condescending twat of a film.

Look, I get it. I'm hypercritical because I write fiction for a living. There are plenty of movies where turning your brain off is required in order to enjoy it, but I think this movie is asking me to get an entire lobotomy to be able to swallow the big-ass pill it's offering. It's just so sloppy and uncaring and yet it's holding its grubby little hands out for your money and your love and I think it's undeserving of it on every last level. It has zero comprehension of what it's trying to accomplish since it's a money grab, and its artistic choices are nothing short of bonkers. It's so strange that it even veers outside of the So Bad It's Good category for me. I can't in good confidence recommend it to anyone even though it's almost like a study in what not to do in both comic book movies and movies in general. It's weird in a distasteful way rather than in a charming way for me, honestly. I know people have rallied around it for being different and out there, but I don't think different and good are the same thing in Venom's case.

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Star Wars films

Ranking the Star Wars films with a fandom as dedicated and opinionated as that of Star Wars can be an exercise in futility, but it is a fun one regardless.  Famously, George Lucas directed that stark sci-fi drama THX-1138, the nostalgia-fest that was American Graffiti, and then dove headlong into the Star Wars franchise, never to step out of that storytelling realm again.  After tolling over this list for what feels like forever, and inviting debates from fellow film lovers, I think I can stand behind my opinions in the following list (which, in all honesty, will probably change as the years go by).

Films not included : 

The Clone Wars (2008) / Star Wars : Revelations (2005) / Ewoks : The Battle for Endor (1985) / The Ewok Adventure (1984) / The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)  

I have not seen the animated films, and I personally feel that the Ewok films and the Holiday Special, while canon, do not provide anything necessary for the overarching narrative of the ‘main’ films.

10. The Phantom Menace (1999)

It pains me to have to call any Star Wars film the ‘worst’ film in the franchise, but there must always be someone that holds down the anchor position, and in this case, it’s The Phantom Menace.  Certain aspects of this film are great, like the classic Pod Racing scene, and the casting of Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi, but ultimately, this film falls short on my list for introducing the concept of midichlorians and insinuating that Anakin Skywalker was an immaculate conception... an idea that (up to this point) has not been properly paid off, in my opinion.  For the record, I have no issues with Jar Jar Binks, and am loving how people are attempting to peg him as a Sith Lord with ultimate powers... perhaps even a ‘reincarnated’ version of Darth Plagueis himself.

9. Rogue One : A Star Wars Story (2016)

This film holds an important place in the Star Wars canon for opening up the possibility to tell stories involving characters considered outside of the main narrative spectrum, and in that way, it expands an already deeply expansive world.  Where Rogue One missteps, however, is in trying to expand what would normally equate to about two films-worth of lore into two acts.  This rushed attempt to make you care deeply for what essentially boils down to a group of ‘cool’ characters really begins to become an afterthought once the film kicks into high gear in the third act, walking you right up to the front door of A New Hope.  A good film, but in my opinion, a better idea than an execution, hence it’s low placement on my list. 

8. Revenge of the Sith (2005)

I consistently find myself torn between Episode II and Episode III in terms of which film I like more.  If I had my way, these films would be combined into a super-cut of sorts, taking the best aspects of both in hopes of muting out the forgettable.  Revenge of the Sith finds itself placed lower than Attack of the Clones on my list, however, for slightly fumbling and mishandling the resolution of the original setup story.  The seeds that Emporer Palpatine sowed in Anakin were a bit heavy-handed, especially the lore of Darth Plagueis, which is one of many ideas planted by the first three episodes that ultimately has no payoff.  Combine this with Obi-Wan’s relatively easy dispatching of Anakin at the end, and all of the buildup towards Darth Vader, including the genius performance of Hayden Christensen of playing Anakin as an entitled and whiny adult that would grow up to be a feared power monger, and I found myself let down due to knowledge of the inevitable story resolution.

7. Attack of the Clones (2002)

This movie... man... so much that it throws at you.  Hayden Christensen is a stroke of genius as Anakin Skywalker, as previously mentioned.  Natalie Portman really got a chance to spread her wings in this film.  Django Fett is awesome looking, but ridiculous as an homage to Boba’s ineptitude at times, and the story of his origin as the mold for all Storm Troopers echoes this.  Ultimately, however, this film falls short by undercutting itself with a bit of slight silliness.  General Grievous is an awesome concept on paper, but I find myself less and less impressed as the years go by.  As excited as I was to see Yoda fight with a lightsaber, having it be digitally animated was slightly anti-climactic.  The huge Jedi standoff was a nice touch, and the film is very entertaining, but overall, it falls short due to a slightly disjointed nature.

6. Solo : A Star Wars Story (2018)

It was enivetable that Han Solo would get his own film series in light of the way that Rogue One changed the Star Wars game, and like all things with the sacred series, many were prepared to scream foul that anyone outside of Harrison Ford would dare call themselves worthy of the role.  Alden Ehrenreich by no means redefined the role of Han Solo, but he did capture the essence of the character, which worked well for me.  Where this film really works, however, is in making concrete what was once only legend.  Seeing day one of Han and Chewie’s friendship was wonderful, seeing Han involved in a love story as a vulnerable participant was refreshing, and Donald Glover put on a scene stealing performance.  Solo will hopefully be the standard bearer for what the Star Wars Story series of films can be, but it falls short of the top 5 simply because it is outside of the narrative spine.

5. The Force Awakens (2015)

The Force Awakens is a successful bridge of the trilogy trilogy in all the ways that Revenge of the Sith failed to be.  Seeing the last vestiges of the Empire in the form of abandoned war vehicles on Jakuu, and having that planet be Rey’s current home, work well in regards to the overarching narrative.  The introduction of The First Order is a wonderful element that I believe will pay off greatly in Episode 9, and Kylo Ren (due to the performance of Adam Driver) is already an iconic character.  Even BB-8, an obvious attempt at nostalgia via leaning on the R2D2 fandom, was enjoyable.  Many people found that this story and the story from A New Hope were a bit too similar, but in my opinion, there is enough unique to justify a story that echoes similar threats, as those in power tend to use the methods of those before them in real life (to varying results).  Overall, the casting in this film is on the money, it looks like a million bucks, and it seems there’s been some much needed levity injected into the series in this particular trilogy of films.

4. Return of the Jedi (1980)

The first time that we get to see Luke Skywalker be a badass... Boba Fett and his memorable armor... Princess Leia and her iconic brass bikini... the Ewoks and the battle on Endor... Lando and his devious ways... Han Solo trapped in Carbonite, his screaming face frozen for what seems like it will be forever... there is so much iconic about this film that it is hard to list it all.  Wonderful character designs are abound in this film, we get one of the most random selections of locations in any Star Wars film, and we get proper resolution to a host of storylines introduced in this particular story grouping.  Outside of George Lucas’s alterations to the group of ‘Force ghosts’ at the end of the film, it’s hard to pick this one apart.  For what once seemed like it would be the final film of the canon, it is truly a satisfying conclusion.

3. Star Wars : A New Hope (1970)

Although this is now officially film 4 of the series, this will always be the beginning in spirit.  George Lucas changed the game with this film, introducing a DIY aesthetic and spirit, as well as a true love for storytelling unique to the storyteller and their influences, that literally became a mark in time for what was and what will be.  It is harder to imagine a more iconic collection of characters being successfully introduced than those in A New Hope, and the echoes of influences centered both in history and older films are integrated so perfectly that many are easy to overlook.  Though not my number 1 placement, it’s hard to imagine a more perfect film created out of the blue.

2. The Last Jedi (2017)

I cannot think of another film in the Star Wars series that people were more prepared to hate upon release than The Last Jedi.  Be it expectations set personally, wishes of what The Force Awakens should have been, or pettiness such as Porgs being involved in the promotional material, it was hard to find people that were either open-minded or gung-ho positive about the film.  I, too, had my own ideas of what would happen, and certain information I had going into the film (mainly the death of Carrie Fisher) caused me to have gut reactions as well (the infamous use of the Force during what should have been her death).  What I quickly realized, however, is that the handful of gripes I had with the film were 100% based on what I wanted to see, and not on what was provided.  There are some great elements introduced and used in this film... Luke reverting back to his whiny self... the connection between Kylo Ren and Rey... the slow, methodical chase that makes up the main narrative of the film... and, in what is probably my favorite moment in all of the Star Wars film, the amazing destruction of the Star Destroyer courtesy of a hyperspeed jump.  People tried to make this film problematic, but when it’s all said and done, this film may go down as the best thing in the series, with the exception of...

1. The Empire Strikes Back (1983)

I wonder if it bothers George Lucas at all that the most revered film in his story canon was one that he did not direct (Irvin Kershner made the series wonderfully dark with this film).  This one takes everything that was wonderful about A New Hope and swiftly takes it away from you like a schoolyard bully.  The beauty of space and the warmth of Tatooine is replaced with the biting cold you can almost feel of Hoth.  The introduction of Yoda brings the entire narrative to new heights.  Removing Luke from the conflict raises the stakes for (and profile of) Han, Chewie and Leia immediately.  Outside of even the ending is jarring, eschewing a nice and pleasant story wrap-up for the bleakest of cliffhanger endings there is.  The Star Wars canon of films is good, but The Empire Strikes Back is truly great. 

Curious about why I chose to put films where I did?  Do you disagree, or have another opinion/point of view?  Feel free to comment via this article or the Ask Me Anything section... these opinions are certainly not written in stone, and with so many films to consider, there may be aspects I’ve not considered or overlooked.

[bloodfromtherock-blog]

KAVANAUGH & THE CORONATED CREEPS

Daniel Hutchens October 10, 2018

"It would be naive to depend on the Supreme Court to defend the rights of poor people, women, people of color, dissenters of all kinds. Those rights only come alive when citizens organize, protest, demonstrate, strike, boycott, rebel, and violate the law in order to uphold justice." -Howard Zinn **********************************************

Kavanaugh repeatedly lied to the US Senate under oath during his job interview for Justice of the Supreme Court. These lies have been well-documented at this point, and aren’t even being contested; the essence of the reply from the Republican oligarchy is, “It doesn’t matter.”

And American women at this point have been demoted to second-class citizens by the Trump administration. This is clearly observable. Trump’s attacks on women are relentless; his push toward more restrictive policies on contraception and abortion, his rollback of gender equality pay laws, removal of paycheck transparency, forced arbitration clauses for sexual harassment, sexual assault or discrimination claims...for me, as the father of an 11 year old daughter, this is all a sinister slap in the face. But more to the point, Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court now puts Trumpsters firmly in control of the move to strike down Roe v. Wade. Understand this clearly: female American citizens are considered nothing more than property by the Old Boys Club, and women’s voices regarding reproductive rights and their own bodies are considered irrelevant. In Trump’s eyes, women are cattle to be branded and used as deemed appropriate.

Kavanaugh is staunchly anti-abortion and has no intent of ruling objectively on this issue. When Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, shadily swung her support to Kavanaugh during the hearings, she apparently felt compelled to grandstand dishonestly for the cameras, maybe in deference to the power of the #MeToo movement, considering her stature as a female Senator. Her behavior reeks of a back room deal, after her previous assertions that if Kavanaugh lied he should be disqualified. She helped Republicans by putting a woman’s face on their warped campaign to shame and discredit survivors of sexual assault, thereby aiding Trump’s shitty backlash against #MeToo, and his brain dead catch phrase, “It’s a very scary time for young men in America.” #MeToo is so powerful that people like Susan Collins have to pretend to support it. She said that Kavanaugh would preserve Roe v Wade and legal abortion. Bullshit. “Operation Rescue,” a group working since the ‘80s to “make America abortion free,” and the rest of the extremist anti-woman crowd have all supported Kavanaugh’s nomination right down the line.

The looming abortion showdown is grim news for American women and those who care about them, alright. The notion that there’s some religious or ethical justification behind returning to back-alley amateurs and economically-selective access to these medical procedures is a sleazeball scam. And just for the record, the “religious right” who have supported Trump have completely forfeited all claim on morality, forevermore, end of discussion. Their previous hand-wringing over opposition candidates for sexual scandals, affairs etc.—then their ridiculous postures that “God chose Trump,” and they “weren’t electing a Sunday school teacher,” their transparent indifference to his cheating on all his wives with porn stars, scamming American citizens with rackets like Trump University etc., his history of racist business practices, his shady record of tax fraud and his whole laundry list of decidedly unChristian behavior, in the most basic sense of spirituality and genuine concern for others, which some of our parents actually schooled us about...yeah, those evangelical hucksters are exposed and discredited and can shut their mouths permanently about abortion and everything else. There are people with genuine soul convictions about these issues, but there are also plenty of imposters and their servility to a snake like Trump spotlights their insincerity. Ye shall know ‘em by their fruits, I’ve heard tell.

Of COURSE Trump wanted Kavanaugh on the Court. Kavanaugh has confirmed himself as a “get out of jail free card" should Trump ever be charged with any crime. Not to mention that Trump and Kavanaugh are plainly fellow members of a perverse fraternity we might as well call “The He-Man Woman Haters Club,” with apologies to the Little Rascals. They both have histories of a predatory mindset, insulting attitudes toward women in general (and no, hiring a few females or minorities does not erase acts of bigotry, and none of us fail to understand the concept of “making only a perfunctory or symbolic effort to do a particular thing, especially by recruiting a small number of people from underrepresented groups in order to give the appearance of sexual or racial equality”)…and Trump’s recent sideshow of mocking Dr. Ford was one of the most jaw-droppingly ugly little political performances this nation has witnessed in many years. (Excepting other Trump tantrums, of course.) Not so long ago, such a warped demonstration would have dropped like a stone any American politician from favor by both parties, immediately and with extreme prejudice. Not so in today’s world of Trumpian “alternative facts” and low-rent bullying.

Also revisit the whole Justice Kennedy/Deutsch Bank scandal, and put the pieces together. Plenty of in-depth and sobering articles are available on this subject, and the bottom line takeaway is that Russian money and influence indeed are swaying American policy and elections, and the whole thing is directly tied to the slow-moving Republican/Russian takeover of everything from our Supreme Court on down. By all means, don’t take my word for it, but by all means do your own research and do your own thinking. But these topics expand and branch out mighty far. Let’s snap focus back onto Kavanaugh.

******************************** “The politically convenient, scientifically baseless theory that sexual assault so traumatized Christine Blasey Ford she mixed up her attacker is now something like common wisdom for many Republicans… less than three weeks ago, when the mistaken-identity theory was first formulated, it was so widely ridiculed that a pundit who advanced it on Twitter subsequently apologized and offered to resign from his job.” -Avi Selk ********************************

October 5th Dr. Ford cover Illustration by John Mavroudis for TIME. © 2018

Some of Kavanaugh’s defenders have criticized Dr. Ford for being “coached” and otherwise manipulated. I have no doubt she got some advice from lawyers, etc., nor that the timing and presentation of her complaints were orchestrated through Democratic channels. That’s the name of the game in Big Time American Politics, folks. But her testimony was believable and compelling, and she retained adult composure through her emotions (it’s tough to imagine the storm of criticism she would have received from Republicans if she had behaved anything like Kavanaugh.) But the implication that Kavanaugh wasn’t also coached (with a professional eye toward manipulating opinion) is high-grade bullshit, or else a stunning level of naivete. Kavanaugh’s TV appearance in which he portrayed himself as a meek little virgin til long after high school, etc., was harshly disapproved of by Team Trump, and they coached him up with specific instructions for the Senate hearing: their advice was that he needed to unleash his anger. And Kavanaugh ran with the “anger” bit and it got away from him; that much-reported nasty temperament of his glared through the cracks in his public facade, and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Kavanaugh’s face...God have mercy. Now in addition to Trump, we have another bitter, hideous visage to haunt our collective dreams. Understand we’re not discussing aesthetics. I’m referring to that old notion that eyes are the windows to the soul, and that intuitive interpretation of facial displays gives us significant information about an individual’s attitude, sense of humor, empathy...or the lack of it. And we were burned by flashes of Kavanaugh’s inner demons during the hearing. Much like Trump, Kavanaugh’s features contorted into a repellent mask of childish temper, ill-mannered impatience and lurking malevolence. It was a freak show that could have taught Hollywood’s monster make-up artists a trick or two. To the extent that Kavanaugh was moved (instructed) to write a quasi-apologetic op-ed piece after the hearing. But we all know what we saw.

During that hearing he raged at those who had questioned his nomination and he hinted not-so-subtly at retribution. He was prodded by White House counsel Don McGahn, who sat directly behind Kavanaugh during the hearing. The whole performance was sickeningly indignant, unashamedly entitled and arrogant, and stunningly partisan in a way that would have disqualified any nominee from previous years—but again, not so in today’s atmosphere of Trumpian distortion and pettiness.

Plenty of us out here recognize Kavanaugh for who he is. We’ve all known “that guy” in our lives; the spoiled, sneering little punkass who talks differently about women as soon as they walk out the door, and who suffers delusions of superiority, and who no one wants to hear any more shit from down at the corner bar.

Kavanaugh’s appointment was questioned or condemned by vast numbers in this country, represented by such organizations as the American Bar Association, Yale Law School, over 2400 Law Professors nationwide, many former classmates and friends, and the National Council of Churches (which represents 100,000 churches and about 45 million churchgoers.) Not to mention the many womens’ groups, the #MeToo movement, etc. Such outright opposition to a nominee for the Supreme Court is extraordinary, and the fact that said opposition was mocked, belittled and outright ignored by the Republicans determined to ram this nomination through come hell or high water—“we’re going to plow right through it,” as Mitch McConnell claimed without shame—yeah, such utter disregard for mass portions of the population is ominous. (And by the way, Trump’s dumbassed claim that Kavanaugh was “proven innocent” indicates a farcical, childish lack of legal comprehension.)

And of course, the meager FBI “investigation” allowed was nothing but a front. The whole circus was rushed and hushed, with zero perceivable interest in knowing the real truth. If team Trump had any interest in uniting the country or in general fairness, they could have trotted out any of a dozen other nominees, all of whom would even have satisfied the wish list of the conservative right, without all the unnecessary baggage. But there are higher priorities for these particular elected officials than fairness or the genuine best interests of the nation.

To pretend Kavanaugh isn’t a partisan shill now planted in the land’s highest court is preposterous belief in “alternative facts” and simplistic hype. The only ones who are fooled by Trump’s blather at this point are those who want to be fooled. His outright nonsense and habitual lies are easily spotted from miles away, but the sad fact is that his supporters don’t give a fuck. They don’t care if he lies, or demeans women or minorities or stirs up international diplomatic firestorms with “shithole countries”-style verbal diarrhea. As Trump himself famously said, he could “shoot somebody and not lose voters.” It’s strangely, sadly true.

It’s also true of Trump’s new handpuppet, Kavanaugh. To whom the idea of “a personality that is even-handed, unbiased, impartial, and dedicated to a process, not a result” in no way applies. Certainly not at this point, after he ranted about “the revenge of the Clintons,” and openly attacked “the Left,” “Democrats” and (for Crissakes) “the media” during his whinefest in front of the US Senate…beyond the pale, folks. We live in a strange new land, in strange new times.

Post-American, by many accounts. The much-revered and much-hated icon of the Left, Michael Moore, predicted Trump’s election in a written article in 2016. The prediction was often reprinted and ballyhooed as campaign-banner fodder by the Far Right. But they missed the warning flash of Moore’s article, and the unnerving prediction: “And now you’re fucked…When the rightfully angry people of Ohio and Michigan and Pennsylvania and Wisconsin find out after a few months in office that President Trump wasn’t going to do a damn thing for them, it will be too late to do anything about it…Goodnight America. You’ve just elected the last president of the United States.”

Pretty dramatic words, but unfortunately the further we sink into the era of the Trump regime, the less incredible such sentiments sound. We’re witnessing an active dismantling and attempted discrediting of institutions ranging from public education to the Free Press. And the schemed attack on the Supreme Court, again, has proven successful for far-righters who don’t give a damn about being even-handed or protecting an independent judiciary.

Trump said that Dr. Ford seemed “a very credible witness”and “very compelling” on one day. Then a few days later he openly mocked her like he was a dimwitted schoolkid. He gushed about what a great man Kavanaugh is, then the next day said, “I don’t even know him!” It’s all topsy-turvy and bizarre, the truth is treated like a curious artifact from a long-dead age, and Trump’s supporters act like it’s all “normal.” But it’s not. And the glimmer of hope is that there are plenty of us out here who understand perfectly well that Emperor Trump ain’t wearing any clothes. We see very clearly what’s happening in this country, the legitimizing of white supremacy, misogyny, homophobia, and bigotry of every stripe. We see you. We see you and know you and so does the whole world, and so will the history books, baby.

“I know Brett Kavanaugh but I wouldn’t confirm him,” wrote Benjamin Wittes, who had previously published and even admired Kavanaugh. “I cannot condone the partisanship—which was raw, undisguised, naked, and conspiratorial—from someone who asks for public faith as a dispassionate and impartial judicial actor. His performance was wholly inconsistent with the conduct we should expect from a member of the judiciary.”

And the message to women in this country, again, is sadly obvious. “Shut the hell up. Because if you ever dare to speak up about this kind of thing again, we will openly ridicule you and no one in power will ever take you seriously.”

******************************************** “Kavanaugh, though, has a distinct honor: He will be the first justice nominated by someone who lost the popular vote to earn his seat on the bench with support from senators representing less than half of the country while having his nomination opposed by a majority of the country.” -Philip Bump *********************************************

CODA: Yeah. The country is divided in a way it hasn’t been since Vietnam. Extremists are multiplying, and they’re nurturing diseases that were seething under the surface for many years before Trump. And indeed, we’re witnessing a perverse resurgence of tolerance for fascism and white supremacism worldwide. But here in America, Trump is the ringmaster of the new Ugliness; his lowering the bar of public discourse, his smug approval of greed and cruelty, his nod-and-a-wink okey-dokes to racism, misogyny and all manner of bigotry—he has legitimized, pardoned and coronated the creeps, the rotten underbelly of our society, the very worst we have to offer.

Let’s vote some of these bastards out in November, folks.