#i mean i know i'm mentally ill but come on

[blubushie]

It's bitching hour I see, don't mind if I join! A lot of the TF2 fandom (mostly just Tumblr/Twitter parts of it) seem to be huge pussies about shipping. There has been talk about straight Pauling ships already and this falls under it too. TF2 fans on here seem to just fear being slightly unconventional with ships, no age gap more than 5 years or so, only the three most popular ships or else eat dirt, no straight Pauling ships, what do you mean bi people exist? It's stupid. You like a ship that isn't fucking red Octoberfest? Starve! Nobody will write or draw anything for this pair for months! Like a ship that's slightly controversial within the fandom like basically any pairing with an age gap, classcest, M/F Pauling ship, anything with pyro in it (also dear god this fandom treats pyro like an uwu baby that doesn't know sex when the guys a full grown pyromaniac with a job! He's mentally ill not a fucking child!! Sorry for side tangent) will get your head stuck on a pike ffs. I remember when I joined I really liked the popular/non problematic ships too but the attitudes of some people smh. TF2 side of Tumblr please get a bit more open minded with what you ship or just leave the people who ship unconventional shit alone. I know there's a line that 90% of the fandom won't cross and it's for a good reason imo (talking about incest ships here) but a relationship with an age gap of more than 10 years is not on the other side of that line, have fun and explore silly relationships with these fictional characters for once!! Let me have my toxic yaoi and toxic yuri in peace :(

Also I'm sorry about putting this long thing in your ask box, this escalated quickly

Agreed fully and also I'm gonna say something that's gonna rustle a lot of feathers–

People love SniperSpy. It's generally accepted that Spy is somewhere in his 50s to 60s, judging off Scout's age alone, and with SniperSpy he's sleeping with someone three years older than his own son.

And there is a absolutely nothing wrong with this when both parties are consenting adults. What I have an issue with is that I've seen a lot of people who ship SniperSpy then get on the arse of MedicScout shippers because Scout is "too young" for Medic.

My question is why? Why is it ok to ship Sniper, at 30, with Spy, a man at least 20 years older than him, but it's not alright to do the same with Scout, who's 27, and Medic, who's probably about 20 years older than him? Why is that? Why do you have an issue with one and not the other?

And it comes down to two things:

1. People think Scout looks too young. Which, I'm sorry, but at someone who's 5'2" and looks about 16-18 at all times (depending on whether or not I shave) despite being 23, fuck you. You do not get to decide if someone's physical appearance is "mature enough" when that person is a fucking adult. Get fucked.

2. Ableism. Scout is notoriously immature and often acts like a teenage. HE IS ALMOST THIRTY YEARS OLD. Maturity/behaviour ≠ age and the funny part is that these are the same people who tell you not to infantilise autistic people for perceived immaturity but then go on and infantilise A MAN WHO IS ALMOST THIRTY because he acts immature. Practise what you preach or get fucked.

People NEVER do this with Sniper and I'm not sure if it's because Sniper looks like he's 40 or because he acts like he's 40. But I'm inclined to think it's the latter, because people often do this with Pyro too as Pyro also often acts childlike.

So hey, if you do this, check yourself. Cuz you're probably being ableist. Ask yourself why exactly you think an almost thirty year old man can't have a romantic or sexual relationship with a man older than him when they're both mercenaries on a team of hired killers who kill people and break things FOR A LIVING. Are you normal about neurodivergent people? No, are you really?

[balkanradfem]

hey i dont think i would actually be able to help that much and you probably have already looked into this before, but just in case you havent, if you try to describe your neck pain in detail i could see if i can figure out what might be able to help relieve it? i get neck pain due to work and its reduced through weird exercises most people dont ever think to do. i sit at weird angles a lot so i have to do exercises that compensate for that

Oh I'd be happy to! If you can figure anything out that would be great, even though at this point two physio specialists and a physiotherapist have looked at it and decided that the symptoms just make no sense, and a mri shows that everything is fine with my bones, disks and muscles.

The most troubling symptoms are that I'm unable to carry anything over 2kg, and honestly my left side is way worse, I can't carry more than 1kg with my left hand, I can carry 2 with my right. (I also have back pain on my left side).

Other really upsetting symptom is that I feel every impact in my neck, for example I can't run or jump, any harsh contact with the floor feels like I've been hit directly inside of my neck, or like the bones of my neck are hitting into my skull. I feel every step as I walk as an impact in my neck, and because of that I can rarely walk for more than 10 minutes. It has helped a little since a friend suggested I put an implant in my shoes, to make them softer, so the impact is lessened. I also can walk longer on very soft surfaces, like a forest after rain, when the soil is soft.

I also can't use tools like a hammer, hoe, anything involving hitting. I can't punch a bag anymore. Whatever impact is made, it feels like the impact is inside of my neck, or between my head and my neck. The first vertebrae of the neck is where the pain is most intense. I've been told since that this is impossible because these don't even touch, and the neck goes inside of my skull instead, but I have no other language to describe it, feels like my skull is taking damage from either being hit or brutally rubbed against the bones of my neck. Or like there's some nerves inbetween getting crushed. (but that would show on the mri)

Other symptoms that are just annoying: I can't lean my neck forward too much, I can't sit for long periods of time, I can't sit leaning back at all, it will start hurting after 1 minute of that, I have to either sit straight or lean slightly forward. I can't sleep with a pillow, I need a completely flat surface.

Once the neck pain gets irritated (if I accidentally carry something heavy of walk for too long) it will hurt so much I will no longer be able to sit or stand, I'll have to lie down on a completely flat surface for several days for it to recover. I also have to sleep on my back. It also gets irritated if I go to the dentist and have to sit on that chair leaned back for 15 minutes, the entire appointment is incredibly painful.

If the neck is not irritated, then I can sleep on my side curled up in a ball, but still without a pillow.

I noticed lately that it hurts if I try to turn my head to the left, it used to not hurt just from that motion, unless I would try to keep the position. It generally hurts if I try to turn my head to any side for too long, I have to keep looking forward or slightly down.

My neck will also hurt if I put anything on my head, like a towel, or a hood, anything that's giving it extra weight or putting any pressure on it.

There are things I still can't do with manageable or minimal pain! I can do some gardening, if I take breaks and accept that generally crouching and looking down will be mildly painful. I can ride a bike with next to no pain, I can do cleaning where I don't have to walk much, and it doesn't bother me. I can do foraging as long as I don't look too much down and move the rest of my body more than I move my neck. And doing normal stuff in the kitchen like cooking, kneading dough, washing dishes, doesn't bother me at all.

I have tried a few exercises in the past, found on youtube, but every and each of those was painful to do, and I didn't know if it would do extra damage, so I stopped. I think now I can try doing any exercises since there's nothing physically wrong with me, I'm unlikely to do actual damage (but I'm still scared of irritating the pain).

I appreciate being given a chance to just talk about the pain because usually I just try to not talk about it, because I don't want everyone around me to feel bad about it all the time, and nothing really helps. I've been prescribed a muscle-relaxant to take for a week, and while I was taking it, it was better, and less painful, but as soon as I stopped taking it, the pain came right back.

[robinsnest2111]

sorry for disappearing. I promised I wouldn't do that again but it's always the thing I fall back on in desperate times. idk how to stop doing that

I'm just so tired and in pain, I wanna lay down and cry and never get back up again

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

[non-un-topo]

Wish there was an elixir that wasn't alcohol that you could take that just makes you write/draw and not care about the quality of your work or about what your potential audience might think

[parsleymusic]

the urge to respond to critique about portrayal of unpolitically correct attitudes or phrases or actions or whatever in regards to mental illness with "what if I told you that it's not my job to tell my readers that when my character says stuff like 'my binge eating disorder is not as bad as my brother's bipolar + PTSD combination; he has to win at something' that it's Bad and the Wrong Attitude to have when it's largely a tongue in cheek joke about living with mental illness and watching the people you love experience a different flavor that is also worse

[forgotten-daydreamer]

one day people will stop saying they have bpd just because they get "irrationally angry sometimes", but that day is not today, unfortunately for us all.

[running-in-the-dark]

I could've been insane in an interesting way at least but noo, I just think about a stupid guy so much that I lose my mind, how fucking stupid is that

[labetalol]

can SOMEONE please tell me how to move PAST it. mac voice just move past it. i need to move past it

[scare-ard--sleigh]

just saw someone say to someone else “you’re 31???? :o drop your skincare routine !!!” afjbgfbjkg my brother in christ 31 is not old lmao 

[brltpop]

.

[musical-chick-13]

I bring a real "Doctor x River OTP" vibe that a bunch of the DW fandom doesn't really like.

[sovamurka]

suddenly realised that i don't have any of my epilepsy medication left, fuck

[aidankalenko]

feel like gushing about boy

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I talk about the medical neglect and ableism I've encountered as a victim of the healthcare system, there's always some cockwaffle who feels entitled to come into my inbox and make the argument of "not all doctors" while talking about how "people like them" (because it's always someone in a field of medicine who does this) are doing their best and it's really hard because so many people fake being ill to get on welfare (Yikes), but like, yeah, obviously #not all doctors, because if all doctors were negligent, bullying scum bags, I'd be dead.

But here's the thing: while I truly believe that the majority of doctors are doing their best in a system stacked against them and their patients, their presence does not negate the mass harm caused by the bad ones. And there are far more bad ones than you realize.

Fuck, John Oliver literally did a segment on this last week:

Yes, the truly bad, malicious doctors are in the minority. Most are just horrifically burned out and fighting a losing battle against a system, killing both them and their patients through a lack of funding and resources and profound overwork.

But the malicious ones do exist, and they will go out of their way to harm patients who don't kowtow to them.

I almost lost my life because when I was in my early twenties, I told a doctor I didn't think she was listening to me, and I disagreed with her assessment of my mental health (she was not a mental health doctor, and I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain). She retaliated by putting "non-compliant" in my file.

There was also a fun little "doesn't show respect" note too that lives rent-free in my head because I know I wasn't rude. I was polite. I just didn't agree with her, and my refusal to accept her off-handed comment that "you probably have bipolar or BPD" (again, I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain) meant I was "refusing care."

I wasn't. I just refused to be slapped with a mood/personality disorder when I was there because I kept fucking fainting when I stood up.

(Spoiler alert: it was dysautonomia)

That "non-compliant" marker followed me around for years. It followed me across an ocean and effectively ensured that any doctor I saw was going to treat me like absolute dogshit because no one wants to help Difficult Patients. It wasn't until I was so undeniably ill, literally on the brink of death, that anyone helped me.

I'm alive because of a good doctor. And all the good ones that came after him because of him.

So, I know they exist. You don't have to tell me that.

But I really fucking need you to acknowledge the bad ones and that you're part of a system with a long, long history of abusing minorities and vulnerable people. I need you to acknowledge that because it's the only way we're going to survive this godforsaken nightmare and make things better.

So yeah, #notalldoctors, but if you feel the need to say that because someone talking about being literally left to die by the medical system hurts your feelings, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back and ask yourself if you're going into medicine for the right reasons.

Namely: do you want to help people, even the "difficult" ones?

Even the ones who might disagree with you?

Even if they're on welfare?

Even if they'll never get "better" in a way that means "cured"?

Just a thought. But hey, what do I know. I'm just someone who experienced hemolytic anemia because doctors kept telling me I was anxious and needed to exercise more 🤷‍♀️.

[softsoup642]

i’m not too good at this vore roleplaying stuff anymore. i got so caught up in the realism and portraying my character and every detail about them that i forgot that this is supposed to be sexy.