#idk how to tag. if this site could just decide on one way to tag content warnings...

[non-un-topo]

Wish there was an elixir that wasn't alcohol that you could take that just makes you write/draw and not care about the quality of your work or about what your potential audience might think

[brickmvster]

potato, potato, my little baby potato...

Pairing: Ellie x Dina

Tags/warnings: fluff, pregnancy, childbirth, domesticity, motherhood, slice of life, pregnant dina

Word Count: 1766

Synopsis: A peek into Ellie and Dina's life before JJ was born.

Author's Note: wrote this back in june of 2022 and posted it on ao3, decided to post it here too bc why not <;3 here is the ao3 link!! also idk how well this will do bc I know this site mostly has x reader fics but I love elliedina with my whole soul OKAY. please enjoyyy comments are appreciated!!

When Dina first noticed her small baby bump, it filled her with pure joy. She remembered standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gently rubbing her stomach, eyes full of admiration. Ellie was behind her, hands wrapped around her waist, experiencing a fluttery feeling in her stomach at the thought of her being a mother – which is something she never would've imagined in her wildest dreams. In a dangerous world like the one they navigated, she never believed parenthood would be an option for her, nor was she really interested in it. Ellie thought children were cute, sure, with their contagious giggles and chubby faces, but she knew taking care of one would be more responsibility than she felt she could handle. But with Dina being with her, she felt this unbridled sense of confidence. Dina was caring and loving by nature, and Ellie had a hunch motherhood would come to her easily – with Dina by her side she had someone's footsteps to follow in.

Despite being pregnant, Dina was still very active around the house, much to Ellie's disapproval. Anytime Ellie saw Dina on her feet, whether she was doing the dishes, taking out the laundry, or even getting up to put her plate in the sink, she always made a face similar to that of a displeased mother who couldn't get her sick child to lie down. But Dina always retorted with "It's not like I'm completely immobile yet, so don't worry." 

Dina also spent a lot of time preparing for their baby's arrival, with the help of Ellie and some fellow Jackson residents. 

Maria had connections with a lot of people in Jackson. Random strangers were kind enough to give Ellie and Dina a ton of baby-related things, like a crib, toys, and even books. They spent a whole day setting things up and figuring out where to put certain items, and when they had finished, Dina began to cry, feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Ellie was right there with her, rubbing her back in a soothing manner and holding her close, almost being brought to tears herself as she gazed upon the empty crib.

A few more weeks went by, and Dina's baby bump was getting pretty large. Dina started complaining more about her back hurting, and she couldn't be on her feet for very long. Nevertheless, she still helped Ellie around the house when she could, with small breaks in between. She began using the bathroom more frequently, which quickly began getting on her nerves, as it disrupted her sleep, or interrupted a good reading session. Ellie would always chuckle whenever they were in bed together, her nose buried in a Savage Starlight comic and Dina practicing her embroidery, when all of sudden Dina would groan loudly and reluctantly get out of bed, angrily making her way to the bathroom for the seventh time in just thirty minutes. 

Then, of course, it got to the point where walking was something Dina did only when she needed to. It had been eight months and her stomach looked like it was ready to burst. Ellie found herself helping Dina walk up and down the stairs, getting out of bed in the morning, and even getting up and off of the toilet. Jackson residents also gave away some maternity clothing, which Dina often lounged about in. Even though pregnancy was miserable for Dina, Ellie couldn't help but notice how beautiful she had gotten. Dina had always been attractive in Ellie's eyes, even since they were kids, but Dina really seemed to glow now. 

Before, Dina's hair was always in some sort of up-do, because she was always doing various tasks around the house and needed it out of her face. But since she's been lazing about more often, she usually wore her hair down, and Ellie was in love with how thick and long it had gotten, her unruly curls framing her face in the most breathtaking way. Her skin was brighter, and it almost seemed to shine in a way that totally captivated Ellie. Sometimes, Ellie would find herself ogling at Dina whenever she was doing some random, mundane task, to which Dina would always notice and turn into the prettiest shade of red.

Right on the cusp of her delivery date, Ellie and Dina had a small baby shower. They had a wonderful time, Dina spending hours unwrapping cute onesies, even more toys and a couple parenthood books. It all felt so normal, so domestic, that it almost made Dina cry again, but she kept it together for the sake of her guests. 

It was late at night when their child decided to arrive. Ellie was wide awake, reading her comic book, while Dina was trying to figure out a crossword puzzle. It was quiet and the room was basked in the cozy, soft lighting of the bedside lamp. Dina couldn't seem to figure out the last word of her crossword and decided to give up and try again tomorrow morning with a fresh mind. She turned to her side, groaning at the heaviness at her stomach, and shut her eyes. Ellie glanced at her briefly, smiling softly and whispering "Goodnight, babe." 

The room was quiet once again, Ellie getting immersed into the fictional world of Savage Starlight, but after about five minutes, Dina was startled awake, feeling wetness trail down her legs. She sat up rather quickly, as quickly as she could, anyway, and Ellie turned to her with a confused and slightly concerned expression. 

"Do you need to use the bathroom again?" Ellie asked, ready to get up and assist her girlfriend. Dina shook her head, her eyes having widened ever so slightly, cheeks flushed, and heart rate steadily increasing. 

"Ellie… I think… I think it's time." Dina said. It took a little bit for the words to register in Ellie's mind, but when they did, she was immediately kicked into action, setting her comic book down and getting out of bed. 

"Okay. Let's get you comfortable, yeah?" She said, peeling away the damp comforter that was on top of Dina. She had Dina lie down a little bit while still staying somewhat upright. Dina instinctively opened her legs, trying to get started on removing her underwear. Ellie helped her, pulling them completely off and discarding them haphazardly. Afterward, Ellie quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, aiding Dina in rolling over so she could place it under her. She had also grabbed scissors and placed them on the nightstand.

Ellie's palms were sweaty. She remembered asking a mother at the baby shower how to prepare for birth, and Ellie tried her best to recall the woman's advice. It was stressful, trying to think while Dina was screaming at the top of her lungs, holding Ellie's hand so hard that her knuckles had turned white as bone. Ellie just tried to be as encouraging as possible, keeping her tone of voice even and steady throughout the whole process. 

Eventually, the room was no longer being filled with Dina's cries of pain but instead her labored breaths and the shrill sound of a baby crying. Their child had finally entered the world.

Dina, with tear streaked cheeks, immediately reached out for her child. Ellie held him briefly, smiling so hard her cheeks were growing sore. He was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in this ugly, ugly world. Ellie made quick work of cutting the umbilical cord before carefully handing him to Dina.

"Hello handsome." Dina spoke softly, grinning tiredly. Ellie was overjoyed at the sight in front of her. They were mothers now. For Ellie, this was the most nervous she had ever been. Not even fighting hordes of infected had her this scared. But she was also excited to step into this new era of her life. She knew that motherhood was going to be a bumpy ride, but so long as Dina was with her, she knew that she'd get through all of the trials and tribulations just fine. 

"I think I've got a name." Dina said, bringing Ellie out of her thoughts.

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Whatcha got?" She replied, a small smirk resting on her lips.

"How does JJ sound?" Dina asked. Ellie's smirk grew into a wide smile of approval.

"I like that. Suits him perfectly." She said. 

After JJ was born, life for the two new mothers definitely became more hectic. 

JJ would start crying late at night, and Ellie, wanting her beloved girlfriend to get all of the sleep she could get, was always the one who got up to calm him down. She would gently bounce him, humming some random tune to get him to relax, before lying him back in his crib. Ellie missed out on a few hours of sleep because of this, but she didn't mind it one bit if it meant Dina would wake up well rested (sometimes, though, Dina would pretend to sleep just to hear Ellie sing).

Feeding JJ could be nightmarish too. He was a picky eater sometimes, and would throw food on the floor or spit it out onto his bib, causing Ellie to roll her eyes and Dina to giggle at the sight. Dina was definitely more patient when it came to JJ but she knew Ellie would get there – slowly, but surely. 

Changing diapers was mostly a Dina thing until Ellie got the hang of it. Before, she would always put them on backwards, much to Dina's confusion. 

Aside from all of the difficulties, there were plenty of joyous moments that the two mothers shared with their son. Often, Ellie would play guitar for him. Whenever Ellie was out hunting, or doing some general sweeps around the outer perimeter of the house, Dina would spend that time coloring with him, or playing with wooden shapes. She tried to get him to participate in activities that would not only be fun for him but educational as well. If Dina was busy, Ellie loved to (carefully) run around the house with JJ on her shoulders, his contagious laughter bouncing off of the walls. 

At night, Ellie and Dina loved to read him bedtime stories, both playing multiple characters and doing the silliest voices they could come up with until JJ slowly drifted away into a peaceful slumber. 

The both of them would then climb into bed together, exchanging "I love yous," after which Dina would continue to read her parenthood guidebooks and Ellie would begin yet another chapter of Savage Starlight, the both of them sitting in a comfortable silence.

[wayvlocks]

Case #143

synopsis: there is a serial killer on the loose and your best friend is the cop in charge of the case. pairing: skz lee know x gn reader? word count: 2.1k genre: thriller au, yandere au, serial killer au warnings: maybe +18? idk, cussing, dark themes, tv news of victims' bodies, fake name, wall pinning, a knife---- if you are uncomfortable with any of the mentioned warnings, please do not read.

A/N: hello, this came to me in a dream after watching case 143 mv 20 times. this will not be a series, but rather just a oneshot? anyway since my brain has been imprinted with this crazy dream of mine - I'm putting it here for everyone to enjoy. :)

There you were, inside your cozy apartment, with your best friend, watching your favorite TV show. Suddenly, breaking news interrupts before your favorite character finishes their joke.

BREAKING NEWS: Killer is still on the loose. Two more bodies have been discovered. New reports on one of the victim's bodies. Gash wounds have been found on the face, with multiple stab wounds to the limbs. An "X" was carved into the victim's chest.

"Oh my god.." You were terrified. You've seen these killings all over TV in the past 5 months, all the same, but they finally reported information on the body after being discovered. You could only imagine how gruesome it would look in person.

"Don't worry Y/n. We will have this case soon I just can tell." Your best friend, Lee know, has been on the force for a year now. Even though he's technically considered a rookie, you know he's the best the team has. He passed his civil service examination with passing colors, he's super smart and always thinking of others. However, you felt that this case he was on, Case 143, is too hard and he can't get any closer to catching the killer.

"Lee Know, it's been five months. Why do I feel like your team can't get their shit together?" You said annoyed.

"Y/n," He chuckled, "I promise we're doing everything we can to catch the guy, okay?"

"Okay" You got up from the sofa and made your way to the kitchen to grab more snacks and a glass from the cabinet. Your phone chimes in the living room, Lee Know picks it up.

"What's the notif?" You asked him unbothered as you pour yourself some water.

Lee Know opens your phone to see a notification from Instagram. It's some random guy looking for "fun". He rolls his eyes, scoffing silently, and opens the guy's account. Single life? College life? Already sounds like dick He thought. Lee Know takes a screenshot, sends it to himself, then blocks the guy and deletes the guy's message the screenshot, and the text he sent himself. Quickly rushing out on the Instagram app, he responds to you, "Looked like it was just a spam text, about a porn site."

You laughed. "Gross I always get that shit. I hope you blocked the number"

Lee Know smirked, not enough for you to notice. "Of course I did."

A couple hours pass by, Lee Know already left your apartment. You’re just sitting on the couch about to wrap up your night and get ready for bed. You decide to check you phone.

You open Instagram to see if your other friends posted anything new today. Then, you see you have a hidden message request. It’s some random guy asking why you block his other account. You don't remember doing this and click the account tagged in the message. Sure enough it is blocked but you didn’t block him…

Lee Know… You roll your eyes. He’s so protective it's hilariously adorable.

It’s been a week since you last saw your best friend and a new episode came out. You call up Lee Know and as he makes his way towards your apartment you get out a variety of snacks for just the two of you. Lee Know arrives, and you rush to get the door as you slip on some fuzzy socks for comfort.

“Hi Y/n” Lee Know smiles.

“Hi Lee Know” you smile brightly, he pinched your cheeks unexpectedly. “Wha-“

“You looked dumb” you rolled your eyes and rubbed your cheeks. “Well it was mean”

Lee Know chuckled at you. “Yeah I’m mean and you’re clueless, so we’re perfect for each other”

“Yeah sure, whatever you say” You respond while flipping the channel to your show.

You and Lee Know are enjoying yourselves. Eating popcorn together and laughing at the wildest scenes on TV. Just then-

BREAKING NEWS: Another body has been found bringing the body count now to 27. The victim was found with his hands bound together and belt markings around his neck, indicating passing by strangulation. The victim has been identified as "Brad Johnson". His last known whereabouts were at a bar where he was said to be meeting a friend. If you have any information regarding his case please feel free to call at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

“Holy shit… that’s the guy who messaged me last night.” You were in complete shock.

“You knew about his message?” Lee Know interrupted your train of thought.

“Yeah he messaged me through another account asking why I blocked him, but then I figured out that ‘spam text’ was about you blocking him”

Lee Know just half ass grinned and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah… He seemed like a creep to me and I didn’t think you'd want some shitty guy asking you to hook up”

“Well that's sweet of you Lee Know but now I know you’re my secret protector which is hilarious. I can fight myself ya know” You laughed at him. He looked serious though, like almost angry with you.

“Y/n there's a killer on the loose, I think I have a right to protect you from random guys. Plus you’re my best friend, I can’t afford to lose you.” You looked straight into his eyes and laughed.

“Okay, okay. But don’t be cringey like that. It’s too funny” You snorted. Lee Know smiled back and started to laugh a along with you.

Suddenly Lee Know gets a call, it’s the Chief. He gets up to walk out of the room for a second. You already know it’s about the case, and most likely information on the recent victim. The news is still on while he’s out of the room. There’s another report.

BREAKING NEWS: An Officer assigned to the case has been found dead in his home. His home was burned to the ground along with his personal key evidence and suspect list.

“Oh my god!” You stood up quickly turning towards Lee Know, who just got off the phone.

“Chief just called… about that,” he nodded towards the TV, “he also said that guy’s body was found a few blocks from your apartment.”

“Fuck…” You start to freak out and shake, biting your nails. Lee Know knows that you only bite your nails when you feel extremely anxious. He walks up close to you and takes your hands away from your face to keep you from biting any further. You look him directly in his eyes.

“How about I stay here tonight with you?” He suggested. “I mean I’m a cop after all and I know with all this news and that the body being found nearby, you’re feeling super tense and scared” He smiled brightly at you, trying to make you feel a little relaxed.

You barely managed to get out your words you were still a little shaky. Lee Know sat you back down on the sofa and turned the channel to some cartoons. “Hopefully they won't do a news segment during cartoons right?” Still smiling brightly at you, then walking away to grab you a glass of water.you we're trying not to bite your nails again, thinking of Lee Know’s smile, and how sweetly he’s taking care of you during what seemed like a possible anxiety attack. When he came back with the glass of water he sat next to you, handing you the glass. Then he reached around you to grab a fuzzy blanket, which he wrapped around your shoulders. He turned towards you.

“It’ll be okay Y/n. I’m here for you, okay? I promise to stay with you tonight if you want me to”

“Y-Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

“Okay, then it’s settled, I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight okay?”

“O-Okay”

After some cartoons and managing to get out a few laughs, you felt better. Eventually you were getting tired and started leaning against Lee Know without knowing it. He noticed this but didn’t mind. In fact, he thought it was cute. You did fall asleep on his shoulder, but then he moved your head to his lap. He started to stroke your hair, brushing it out of your face. Smiling while he stared intently at your pouty face as you slept peacefully in his lap.

I’ve waited long enough. I think it's time. He thought, smiling from ear to ear.

“I love you Y/n”

You woke up on the couch alone. You wondered what time it was, reading your phone it said 3:00AM. But more importantly… You thought, where is Lee Know?

You opened your phone about to text him and ask where he went. The last thing you remember was falling asleep next to him on the sofa during cartoons. Before you could even open the messaging app, you see another news article titled Officers Found Dead. You kept reading…

BREAKING NEWS: The team of officers leading the case were all found dead in their station, and all evidence of the case was burned at the scene. The officers were found after failing to appear for a call about a local disturbance. 6 out of 7 officers on the case were found. New security footage shows the other officer entering the station just before the cameras were shut off, an hour before the team of officers were found dead. Other police suspect that the remaining officer has a possible connection. If you have any information on this man’s whereab-

You scrolled further to see the picture of the suspected officer.

It was Lee Know.

You thought it was completely insane. What possibly happened in the last few hours while you were asleep. You immediately got back on your phone to call up Lee Know. He answered.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? A possible suspect? Lee Kn-“ Just then, you heard a light chuckle. It almost sounded close by.

Lee Know sighed. “Ah, Y/n…” You felt an odd presence behind you. You turned around slowly. A tall dark figure appeared out of the shadows of your apartment. Lee Know…

“Finally we can be alone.” He grinned.

“Lee Know, what the hell is happening? You left me alone and all the sudden I wake up to you being a suspect for murder?”

Lee Know stepped closely towards you, the light coming in from the window lit half his face. He looked crazy. He was smiling ear to ear.

“A lot has happened that's for sure. A lot to keep you safe.”

“You sound crazy Lee Know. What the fuck did you-“ He stepped even closer, his face is now completely lit. Blood splatter covered the other half of his handsome face.

“Only what’s best… for us”

You were scared. This wasn’t the Lee Know you knew. His presence was scary, not including the amount of blood on his face.

“Get the fuck away from me” You quickly stood up, backing away from him slowly to reach your room at the end of the hall. His smile grew, like he was a predator and you were his prey. It all seemed so fast, when you tried to run he ran after you, pinning you to the wall.

“Please don’t run from me Y/n. I’ve been protecting you from all those horrible bastards, don't you love me?”

Scared out of your mind as he holds your wrists to the wall, then it clicked. “W-Wait.. y-you…?”

“Mhm” He smiled playfully, tucking his head in your neck. “I killed them all…” He lightly brushed your neck with his lips. “For you,” he mumbled against your neck. It was a chilling sensation.

“You’re fucking insane!” You tried to twist your way out of his grip.

“On the contrary, you've always called me smart” He reached up towards your ear, nibbling at your lobe. Sending shivers down your back he continued, “I mean why do you think I even joined the force? My plan started long ago, a perfect plan to rid of those who stood in my way of you, and what better yet to become a cop myself to cover up anything and keep those dumbass officers in awe every time," he chuckled evilly.

You started tearing up, and suddenly his grip was weak as he laughed maniacally after revealing his plan. You escaped his grip quickly and slapped him hard on his blood-stained cheek. There was a still moment, his hand on his cheek with your hand still in the air. Then, he grabbed your free hand, tossing you to the ground. Lee Know was now standing above you. He reached into his back pocket, grabbed the butterfly knife you never knew he had, and twirled it open, finally pointing the blade down at you.

He squatted down in front of you, the blade still fixated on you. “Why must you be so difficult my love?”

[kirathehyrulian]

🖤🩸STEVANA PAIN EVENT🩸🖤| Day 6

↳ Sam and Loss of a Loved One♥♥♥

(Please do not edit/alter. Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost. At the very least please give me credit.)

@folsomprisonblues @trials-era-sam​

For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr. Or my  “AO3“.

👇(Art Notes below the cut)👇

Art Notes:

It’s so completely late, but after I missed the deadline I just decided to take the time to clean it up and make it all finished looking for this one at least. It also helped that that the mods of the event didn’t seem to mind late entries. Hopefully that hasn’t changed after 11 days.🤞

I would have been done with this short comic earlier, but tbh it was hard for me to work on it because the subject was affecting me so much. I can torture Sam in a lot of bloody ways but I can’t handle the emotional angst as much lately.

Like the last few times I’d rather go into detail on Ao3 when I make that post. But, long story short, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do for this theme until way too late. And then I remembered 2x04 where Sam buried John’s tags at Mary’s headstone, and then I figured maybe Sam might do the same with the Samulet.

And in 11x23, Dean said that he wanted his ashes buried at this grave site. But instead of his ashes, I thought the Samulet was more poetic and fit the theme that this was a family grave with no remains in it. It just has Mary’s headstone, John’s tags, and now the samulet. And, the samulet could be a representation of both Sam and Dean and thus the family is symbolically finally together again. Idk, it depends on how people want to take it.

The dialogue was a parallel to when Sam said “I love you, Mom” at Mary’s headstone in 2x04 after he buried his Dad’s tags and I like to think of it as a sort of reply to Dean saying he loved Sam in 15x20′s barn scene.

Anyways,

Enjoy, if you can!♥♥♥

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Hello! I was wondering if I could request Wrecker x reader where they sneak off really late at night for a cute little walk because they haven't been getting enough alone time. And it's a new relationship, so everything's still all cute and giggly. Maybe they think they are being quiet when they are sneaking back in, but something funny happens and reader is like dieing laughing and Hunter walks in like wtf is going on. Idk, feel free to ignore. Ily ♡

Warnings and Information: No real age warning for this one. 2nd person POV, undescribed Reader that can be read as gender neutral. Little sprinkling of Mando'a. Minor language (everyone say "thank you, Crosshair!"). It’s all the giddiness of a new(ish) relationship with the powerhouse of Clone Force 99 that is Wrecker. 🩷 Impromptu date late at night. Decided on a Modern!AU for this one where (most of) the Bad Batch work as a construction crew, and there's a few cameos of other Clones too. Hope you enjoy what I came up with! 

Word-count: 4,544

Setting your bag down on the welcome mat, you thread your house key into the lock with an eager sigh. You're pretty tired. You finally have a free night, thankfully, and you've been away from home all day. 

You're looking forward to just vegging out on the couch to catch the season finale of your favorite show for the next hour and crawling into bed as soon as you finish trawling the 'net for other people's impressions of the finale. There's a lot of speculation regarding the dashing rogue of the series, and whether or not they'll finally pluck up the courage to share this big secret the show writers have been dangling over the fans. You just hope some news article doesn't show up in your social media feed only to come along and spoil it in the headline. 

"People really need to learn to tag their kriffing spoilers… It's not that hard." 

You bump the door open and hoist the bag back over your shoulder just as someone calls out your name. 

"H-hey! Wait up!" 

You pause in the entryway, cheeks pinching with a large smile. "Hey Wrecker." The way he's doubled over, hands pressed into his knees while he pants for air, you can guess Wrecker had likely jogged over to your place from his. He lives not too far from you, and it's a jog he's made several times before, but it has been a slightly warmer than average day that has only just begun to cool off in the last few hours. Tech, one of Wrecker's brothers, calls the phenomenon the "heat island" something or other. Effect? (If that wasn't right that sounded close enough.) "You okay? Here, come on in. Would you like some water?" 

"B-but- Weren't you jus' leaving?" Wrecker manages between slowing pants. He used the edge of his sleeve to mop the sweat from his brow once he's upright, fixing you with a woozy smile when you hook your fingers around his own and lead him inside. "Oh, no, I just got home, actually. How come?" You fill a glass from the cold tap and rummage around the freezer for some ice to make it a little more refreshing. Wrecker just ran so hot sometimes you were surprised he didn't pass out on some of his job sites as a construction worker. 

"I- oh, thanks, cyare." Wrecker greedily gulps down a few mouthfuls of water to relieve himself of his thirst, careful not to spill down his front or all over your kitchen floor. 

The intimacy of the pet name makes your ears flush with warmth, and your cheeks pinch a little more with a tender smile. "You're welcome." 

The worst of his thirst now quelled, Wrecker could explain why he thought he had caught you leaving the house. "I, uh, I came over to ask if you wanted to go do something. Together. Jus' the two of us. Worried that I got off work too late or took too long to clean up a bit and I caught you about to leave. I know it's nearly eleven, but it's been a while since we had a moment to spend time together… just to ourselves." There was good reason for the emphasis on the last three words. In the infancy of your relationship with Wrecker, you have only had one date together that wasn't interrupted in some way by his job, or one of your day to day priorities, or one of his brothers. 

You liked his brothers well enough thus far, but sometimes they really needed to learn when to butt out. Or what was appropriate for company. 

"Wrecker, have you seen my live specimen?"

"Hunter! One of Tech's kriffing specimens got loose again! Can't find the damn thing!" 

"Oh Maker…"

"L-let's leave, cyare. It's not a dangerous specimen or nothing, but it's jus' creepy." 

You smiled at Wrecker, and to him, those smiles could have thawed out an ice planet like Hoth twelve times over. Smiles that could get Crosshair, even in his most sour of moods, to return the gesture even for a fleeting moment. "Time just to ourselves sounds very, very nice… What'd you have in mind? I'm down for anything." The minute you pulled him across the welcome mat you decided you wouldn't mind watching the final episode of the season another time. Wrecker was here, and by happy coincidence, your schedules were completely free for the weekend. You could stay up as late as you liked.

"You wanna go for a bite? Or maybe go take a walk?" Wrecker offers. You like the idea of a casual walk, now that it's cooler. You glance at your footwear, a pair of sandals, and think for a moment it'll be smart to put on a pair of closed-toed shoes. "A walk sounds nice," you reply brightly, "You wanna go… uh, how about by the lake in the park?" 

Wrecker grins at the idea. He's got such an infectious smile that gives you butterflies in the pit of your stomach and a booming, boisterous laugh that you just loved. "Sure, tha' sounds nice! Been meaning to go see it one'a these days, but I'm busy helpin' my brothers with work most of the week." He'd love to go check it out with you, he says. 

Going to the lake took you past Wrecker's house, all dark save for two windows. Tech's, of course, and you believe the second is another brother of Wrecker's who's moved in only recently. 

You haven't had the opportunity to meet him yet. You hope to, one day, when he's ready. 

"He's… been through a lot. One'a our other brothers thought it might be a good idea if he came and lived with us for a bit. Quieter. Less people." 

"How many brothers do you have, Wrecker?" 

He had laughed, scratching nervously around the back of his head with a great shrug. "I dunno, honestly. I have a lot of brothers. But, I get along best with Hunter, Tech and Cross… So I hope I get along with Echo too." 

"I'm sure you will, Wrecker. You're friendly and kind and sweet… a-and um…" Your mouth had gotten away from you, then. You had only been friends back then, and you'd slowly grown closer, grown feelings for this gentle giant. You were that close to blurting out that you thought he was handsome, cute even, down to the scar and replacement eye that was a result of an accident on one of his very first job sites. He had said your name with that same jovial laugh and winning smile and, jokingly, asked, "What? You gonna say I'm cute or somethin'?" 

That's all it took. Just a few months later, here the two of you were, playfully bumping into one another as you entered the park hand-in-hand, making jokes and laughing together. 

"No-no-no, that's not what the joke means!" you insisted, feeling the ache in your sides growing the more you laughed until you were nearly breathless. "You realize Cross is messing with you, right?" 

"Yeah, 'course I do!" he replies, "But so am I! It's jus' how the two'a us are. It's a lot of fun to purposely misunderstand a joke and see how long it takes before Tech can't take it anymore. Our record was two hours. Hunter even joined in!" 

"But I thought he hated it when you and Cross goofed off on your job sites." 

Wrecker grins through mischievous laughter. "Naaah. Hunter goofs off on job sites just as much as us when we can get away with it, but he's more… subtle about it. Unless he wants to show off to our older brother Cody. He's a contractor and the one who suggested the job to us; so we try an' behave a little more than usual when he comes to check on how construction is going." Wrecker explains. They've been part of the crew who initially came in to renovate some very old apartment buildings here in this little, growing city, but overnight the sign that had previously said "RENOVATIONS UNDERWAY" for the first few weeks became "DEMO AND REBUILD". Now you know why; Cody's the one who made the call on that, and you wonder why the sudden change. 

"Oh, huge infestation that went untreated for too long. I don't remember what Tech calls them or what they are, but Cody said it was gonna be better to scrap everything and build fresh. I ain't complaining!" 

That was something you appreciated Wrecker for. He complained about very little. He was often optimistic and in high spirits. Happy to do almost anything he was asked so long as he was with his brothers and didn't have a want of food. All that manual labor makes a person hungry, so it doesn't surprise you to find him snacking on something if he's left to his own devices and the thought comes over him. 

Actually, in fact, you hadn't just walked past his house on the way to the park: you briefly came inside so he could throw a few things into the cooler bag he takes to his job sites (he, Hunter and Cross bounced between at least two or three sites if Cody needed a few more hands for something on a particular day) and have a little picnic on the grass with you. You both took care to be quiet so as not to disturb his brothers. Wrecker did however bump into Crosshair in the kitchen, who took one look in the lunch bag and said "Unless you plan on drinking that kriffing disgusting lake water, I suggest you take something to drink, too." before he snatched a few slices of cold pizza from a box in the fridge and shuffled off. 

Not much of a talker, Crosshair. But that's okay. 

"How's this for a spot?" you ask, coming across a bench after walking roughly one half of the man-made lake. Walking and talking with Wrecker was enjoyable, the late-summer air carried by a gentle breeze across the water was cool and soothing here. Not too far from the water's edge, and you could hear some of the lake life, little frogs, croaking and singing in the reeds and lily pads from here. Wrecker nods approvingly, setting down the cooler bag. "Perfect! Here, made this for you. Sorry if it's a little smushed or if I forgot a condiment." 

He offers you a brown paper bag, and inside, you find your favorite sandwich you often throw together when you need a quick bite to eat. "Aww, you made this for me? Wrecker that's so sweet of you, thank you." You bite into it with eager anticipation, and it's definitely the way you like it. "Oh Maker," you moan blissfully, chewing slowly to savor it, "that's a good sandwich." Wrecker smiles bashfully as he takes a seat beside you on the bench, unwrapping his own sandwich. 

"Did I-?"

"No, not a single missing condiment." you tell him. Shyness and uncertainty turn to pride for the man beside you. 

"Oh, good! I made it kinda quick-like from memory so we could get goin' without bothering my brothers." He takes a bite of his own sandwich, and allows himself to chew thoroughly before he speaks again. "I, uh, I make everyone's lunch in the mornings. Except for Tech's sometimes, he's pretty particular about what he takes to his lab." 

You think back to what Tech's job is, but the proper name for it escapes you. "He works in the… preservation department at the local museum, right?" 

Wrecker bobs his head as he takes another bite of his sandwich, smaller this time. "Yeah. Works in at least three labs. Real smart. Like scary smart. He'd get bored if he worked in just one lab. And because I don't remember what lab he goes to on what days, he and I agreed it'd be best for him to make his own lunches most days. Oh, I almost forgot! Here!" He reaches into the cooler bag again and pulls out one of your favorite, non-alcoholic, bottled beverages. "That's for you. Can't have a proper picnic without something to drink." 

Wrecker's attention to detail, his memory of things he's learned about you only very recently, it all makes you feel giddy and warm inside that he's so incredibly attentive to your likes and dislikes. Other romantic partners, whether they had been potential or well and truly established, had not been quite so aware like Wrecker. What had taken others five months or more to remember that you did not like on your pizza, Wrecker had remembered in just five days. 

Hunter had called your name from the kitchen, ready to place an order from a little place new to town called Gregor's Grub-hub and asked what toppings you liked on your pizza, apologizing for not remembering what you had taken from the assortment of pizzas the crew offered to share with you when you stopped by Wrecker's job site to return the comically oversized jacket he loaned you. 

"That's okay, I remember!" Wrecker had declared from the couch as the two of you sat together, trying (and failing) to take this board game seriously. It was just so much more fun to bend the rules or try stacking all the game pieces. Whatever silly idea possessing the pair of you was swiftly entertained. 

It was just so easy to have fun with Wrecker. He found joy in the little things. And he cared so deeply about his brothers. He cared so deeply about you. 

You crack open the bottle, and together the two of you mock-toast to this late-night, lakeside summer picnic the pair of you took on a whim. You're so glad to be out here with him. Just the two of you in the light of the full, silver moon hung in the sky above this beautiful park, serenaded by the frogs and distant cicadas in the trees.

"Thanks Wrecker. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Wrecker laughs brightly, the sound as bubbly as the lapping waves of water against the shore, and as distinct as the ping from the phone in your pocket as your phone begins to blow up with news about the final episode of the season you originally planned to watch tonight. (Damn. Maybe the dashing rogue will pluck up the courage next season.) You can't even be mad about the spoilers. 

You're enjoying this rare evening together with Wrecker far, far too much to be annoyed about that. 

"Nice night for a date…" you murmur fondly, leaning into Wrecker's side as you sit on the bench and eat some of the other snack foods out of the cooler bag now that the two of you have finished your sandwiches. "... thanks for the late, lakeside picnic, Wrecker." You giggle softly when he shyly asks if you're okay with a little kiss on the cheek. He kisses the top of your head for good measure as well, emboldened by the smiles and giggles. "Yer welcome. We should do this more often." he says, looking out over the glimmering water with you. 

You should do this more often. Maybe the next time you come here, you can take him here in the sunlight and come feed the waterfowl on a day that his brothers could get by without his help. Crosshair didn't need help the clambering up onto the scaffolding so he could do his job as a roofer, but he often let Wrecker help him because it eased his brother's fear of heights, or the fear that Cross was going to fall from the scaffolding again after a really nerve-wracking incident, more rather. 

A strong gust of wind had ripped through the construction site before the structure had been secured against the frameworks, and his brother had lost his balance. Wrecker had been there to catch him in the nick of time. 

"Maybe it gets under my skin a little that my brothers make fun of me for my fear of heights," Wrecker admitted somberly to you in private shortly after the scare. "But I'd never willingly let my brothers fall. I'll always be there to catch them… if I can." 

Once the two of you have finished most of the food from the cooler bag, you diligently pack away all of your trash until you pass by another trash can. "Let's finish walking around the rest of the lake. Then let's maybe call it a night." you suggest. It's too nice a night not to. You just hope the city police don't come along and spoil the moment by suggesting that you need to leave, since park lock-up happens at 12:30. It's only midnight, and the rest of the lake won't take long to walk at a decent pace. 

Common opinion is that some of the force can be overly stern, even how the chief of police is characterized as "heartless", but you've come to understand that these officers with red police cruisers (an unusual color choice) are decent men. They're just chronically overworked. You feel for them, now. They're only doing their jobs, however unpopular it might be. 

Thankfully, where you'll complete your full circuit of the lake with Wrecker is not too far from one of these entrance and exit gates that are found along the wall of the gated park. 

Joking and laughing with Wrecker once again puts a pep in your step, now that the two of you are comfortably full and content with the late-night meal. 

Wrecker suggests walking a little closer to the water, just before you leave. Give the lake a closer look, maybe see if he can't get a picture of one of the frogs for Tech. "He could probably tell us all about 'em! Tech loves that kinda stuff… sharing what he learns with people." Wrecker says with a grin as he quickly snaps a photo of a plump frog resting on a lilypad. He's carefully crouched on the edge of the bank in order to get it. You creep down closer to the waterline so you can take his phone for him so he can use both hands to pull himself back up the slightly steep bank. The water is deep here, and you're both hoping to avoid falling in.

"Here, I got it." you offer, holding out your hand. 

You slip on a slick patch of grass and mud as you collect his phone, and as luck would have it, the sandal slips off as you stumble and it falls into the lake with a splash.

Wrecker had caught you before you fell in as well. "Gotcha, cyare! Are you okay?" 

"I'm f-fine," you assure him with a tiny stammer, glad you hadn't dropped his phone or fallen in. "Just lost my shoe. Thanks for catching me." 

"Of course, cyare. Didn't think I'd only be there to catch just my brothers, didja?" He's teasing, of course, but the question makes you flush. No, of course you didn't think that. 

Wrecker peers down into the water, trying to see if he could spot your sandal. Man, why didn't you change into something with laces? You'd thought about it and everything, but you were just so excited about spending time with Wrecker that you dashed out the door without giving it a second thought… 

A car door closes in the distance. It sounds like it's from a car parked near the gate. Uh oh. What time is it? 

"Wrecker, we need to go, I think the-" 

He's up to his elbow in the lake water, carefully swishing his arm around while seeing if he can't find your shoe. "Just a second, I'll find your shoe and then we can go cyare." Wrecker promises, trying to settle your nerves. He's so focused on being sweet and helpful that he doesn't hear or notice the officer starting down the path. 

"Wrecker, c'mon, it's okay. It's just a cheap little sandal, we really should go!" 

The way Wrecker is hunched over the water on his hands and knees in the dim light of the moon, the officer mistakes the position for a starting dive and he calls out in warning. "Hey-! There's no swimming in the lake!" 

Wrecker falls in with a great splash, startled. He surfaces shortly, the water up to his chest. Okay, maybe the water wasn't as deep as you thought. "I'm okay!" Wrecker splutters, coughing up lake water. "I found your sandal!" 

You turn to the officer now standing on the edge of the lake, glowering down disappointedly at Wrecker. "I'm so sorry, sir," you say, "he was just trying to get my shoe and then I think you startled him an- O-oh, Officer Fox! I didn't realize it was you, I'm so sorry!" Fox didn't realize it was you, either, turns out. He speaks your name with great surprise, then takes another look at the sopping wet figure carefully climbing out of the water with your wet, muddy shoe in hand. "Wrecker?"

"Yup!" 

Officer Fox removes his peaked cap and scratches his salt-and-pepper hair with a weary sigh. "... I thought the two of you were a couple of kids or something. Got a call from a "concerned citizen" about some "hooligan youth" in the park. Some busybody of an old man who's constantly inventing problems for me because he has his mind made up that I don't have enough to do…" 

You grimace sympathetically. "Mr. Sheev, again?"

"That old bat's still alive?" Wrecker asks disbelievingly. No one's quite sure how old Mr. Sheev is, but he looks like he's been dodging the grim reaper longer than it should be natural. 

There's a mutter from Officer Fox that sounds a lot like the word unfortunately before the cap is replaced and he has to do his job. 

"C'mon… park's locking up for the night, soon. And since you're wet," he nods to Wrecker, "and you're half barefoot," Officer Fox nods to you this time, "I'll give you a lift in the cruiser." 

Officer Fox takes you both back to Wrecker's place, watching the two of you from the car as you're huddled on the porch, wrestling with the ring of house keys. Darn things seem to make themselves invisible or slippery when they get the slightest inkling that you might be in a hurry to get inside. 

Wrecker says he'll have to mop up the water in a second, trying and failing at threading his house key into the lock with shaky fingers. Lake water was cold and he was soaked to the bone trying to do a kind thing by retrieving your sandal for you. 

Fox, the chief of police for the city, calls from the cruiser that Wrecker better get into some dry clothes soon, and not to feel bad about getting the seats wet. "Shit like this happens more than you think. I gotta ask Cody if he's the guy I gotta talk to about getting a proper walking path around the lake… as soon as I'm done with all this other kriffing paperwork. Goodnight." You help Wrecker get the key into the door and thank him for the lift. "You too, Officer Fox! Thank you again!" 

As the two of you try to squeeze inside, someone knocks over the coatrack bearing three high-vis vests and a crisp lab coat. "Whoops!" Oh stars, that clatter was sure to wake someone up… It was nearly one in the morning now. 

Wrecker's foot slips in the growing puddle of water, and trying to help him, or make sure that he's okay, you yourself trip over the coat rack and fall on top of him with a yelp. Once again, he breaks your fall, and tries to break the nervous tension with a corny joke after you both frantically apologize to one another. 

"Guess we're a couple'a angels if we keep fallin' for one another, huh, cyar'ika?" 

You can't help it. The joke is so silly and undeniably sweet coming from someone like Wrecker that if the coat rack, and then the two of you falling over and on top of one another didn't wake Wrecker's brothers, your laugh certainly would have. Four pairs of feet plod down the stairs at varying speeds, Hunter the fastest. He's fresh out of bed in nothing but a pair of red and black boxers, face wracked with confusion. Wrecker is soaking wet and smells like algae. And you're now damp after having landed on top of him. Hunter was told the two of you were just going for a walk, how the hell did his brother and his date end up getting wet?

"The kriff are you two doing on the floor?" Crosshair yawns from up the stairs. 

"And why are you wet?" 

You smile apologetically up at Hunter, "Wrecker fell in the lake trying to get my shoe for me. I was trying to keep his phone dry after he took a picture of a frog for Tech and-" Your eyes dart further up the stairs when you hear Tech excitedly ask "A frog?" from behind Cross, and you spot the brother who must be Echo behind him. He's a little paler and his face is gaunt compared to the others. He looks rather disoriented and anxious after you probably woke him up so unexpectedly. 

"Oh… hello there; are you Echo?" 

He nods timidly. "I am. And you are…?" He seems surprised to hear you know his name, but he doesn't seem to recognize you. You wait as he carefully makes his way down the stairs, one step at a time. The horrible accident Echo had suffered from was some time ago, but three of his limbs haven't quite been the same since. Minor weakness and numbness, to your memory. You waited until he was closer to put out the appropriate hand to introduce yourself with a polite smile. "Nice to meet you. Officially." Echo manages apologetically. "Sorry, guess I didn't recognize you because I've only ever heard Wrecker talk about the person he's started dating." 

You smile reassuringly at Echo, and flash Wrecker a cheeky look when you hear he's been talking about you to his brothers. You're sure he would look just as flushed as you if the light from the kitchen wasn't so dim. 

"I'll get a mop and clean up the water," Wrecker promises Hunter when his brother takes a look at the floor by the front door after Wrecker picks up his cooler bag and dumps all the trash into the kitchen's garbage can. 

Hunter shrugs lazily. "Nah, don't bother. You two should go shower or something. I'll take care of it. Besides falling in the lake - apparently - was your walk nice?" 

"Oh yeah!" Wrecker says with a giant grin that you return when you share a look. "I think the two of us might do it again soon. This time without losing any shoes." 

You can only nod and laugh softly in agreement. The next time you go on one of these late-night walks with Wrecker, if this becomes a regular thing in your relationship, you are definitely going to start wearing better shoes with laces.

Note from Frost: The idea of Palpatine being a nosy cranky senior citizen who calls the police over "hooligan youths" having fun came out of nowhere but it tickled me too much not to include it lmao. (Poor Commander Fox...)

[Masterlist] [Requests: OPEN]

[endless-hourglass]

i love (/sarc) how there's so little safe space for CDD systems.

Tumblr? Syscourse left and right, and if you don't like it? Might as well leave because half the time it's not fucking tagged.

Twitter? I don't know whats it's like on there and I don't even think I want to!

Tiktok? So rabid with fakeclaiming and drama it's genuinely unsafe.

YouTube? Any system who dare to have a channel is someone you can't search up withing a "[channel] fake proof" autofill or pages or videos calling out their every flaw

IRL? HAH good fuckin LUCK.

???

Personal venting below the cut

Tiktok and YouTube are the examples that make us sick to our stomach the hardest. Amnesia makes it hard to assume but I'm pretty sure online system spaces played a huge part in our so called "system reset" (a period of all previously existing alters dissociating themselves and their identities into fuckall until we could accept ourself again). We didn't have any space to exist as a system irl, so what could we find online? Even with the more casual system yt channels, ones that made us feel safe and seen as someone who can just live life, there's a suffocating weight in trying to watch them as everywhere around you is people trying to shove proof in your face of everyone malingering. Truth is, I've hardly ever watched these proof videos because idk it's...clear that most of the time those videos aren't for the community, they're ammunition suppliers.

Maybe you decide "YouTube feels too detattched from the community, maybe something like tiktok would be more engaging." Bitch the only difference is that you feel more personally involved and people aren't always going game theory on their fakeclaiming. Instead there's weekly drama, "system red flag lists", a restraining fear of being posted to hateful cringe sites for literally anything, and AGAIN hurt and hate everywhere you fucking turn!

And I know maybe I should just "touch grass and interact with REAL systems if I want community so badly", but please enlighten me as to how I, a minor-bodied undiagnosed system, am supposed to effectively achieve that. Not to say it's impossible to have irl system friends, but I have none currently and no way to actively seek them out. I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.

And I fear that this post will be met with someone telling me I'm too young for online system spaces. First off, you don't know my exact age, you honestly in the grand scheme of things don't know anything about me. Secondly, I do have a good understanding of online safety as far as I can tell. Thirdly, you think I don't think about that? In fucking system spaces you think I don't carefully evaluate my participation and inclusion and stuff? I'm practically forced to if I want to keep my wits about me! Fourthly, as I just fucking said, I shouldn't be denied community for the crime of wanting it.

[lulu-balu]

Booooy howdy here's a bit of a doozy. Where do I begin!

Well I chose my old username back in mid 2017 when I was a wee lass writing silly fics on fanfiction.net. I chose it because it was Italian for "You are beautiful", because 1) I'm half Italian and 2) I thought it was sweet and wholesome.

To start: as I said above, I'm half Italian. That's because I'm Italian-American, that side of the family *has* been for quite a few generations now and they absolutely fit ALL the stereotypes you could think of when you hear "Italian-American". Stupidly proud of their heritage, and usage of silly botched up slang all while knowing little to no actual Italian. I know some stuff mainly through osmosis but yea. I definitely can't speak the language and I'll admit I simply do not have the brain power to memorize another language. I tried it with Spanish in high school already and it didn't go very well LOL

So yeah. I was one of "those" people as a teen. Idk why, it's stupid and I'm simply not like that anymore! So that's the biggest reason, but it's also not the only reason.

Number two is simplicity. Seeing that it's a common Italian phrase it's no surprise that "Sei Bellissima" straight up is taken across different sites, leading me to have to make some funky additions so that I can make accounts on there. This can lead to some confusion. Not to mention those additions can make the username long as hell in general and a pain to type out. So I went for a shorter name that will still be easier to remember, even in the cases where additions are necessary.

And uhh regarding the "Sweet and wholesome" thing- I still try to be positive where I can, but I've been through the wringer a *lot* since then and I simply do not have as much happy energy as I did back then. Believe me, it's sad and I really had no idea what was coming for me at the time but- being that overtly positive all the time definitely drained me a lot more than necessary. I guess that's another reason for a change; it all just didn't fit who I am anymore.

So yeah, to put it all simply: it doesn't represent the kind of person I perceive myself to be today, so I decided it was time for a change. As for my decision-making process behind that change?

Lulubalu is pronounced "loo-loo-buh-loo" and is derived from the word "hullabaloo", which is a word used to refer to a commotion or fuss over something. I kinda think it fits how I react to things I really enjoy and hyperfixate on; I just go absolutely nuts. Mostly not publicly but uh. Yeah I'm very enthusiastic sdfjkhsk

The "Lulu" part is just because I like that name and the way it sounds when spoken. It isn't even my real name I just like it a lot lol. Speaking of. When you wanna speak to me now, you can use "Lulu" to address me

ANYWAY. I'm still me; I've certainly changed a lot over the years and the username change is a nice way to reflect that, I think. All of the stuff I've posted over the years is still here so if you've got anything bookmarked you'll want to update that (I will be changing my art tag to [#lulu's doodles] and will be taking the free time I have to update all the posts skdjfhskj). Buuuut otherwise I think that's it. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading and enjoying the stuff I've put out over the years <3

[thatonebabybat]

Okay. Long rant ahead, but... I'm bothered by those ppl who use "SaYiNG GoTH IS A MUsIc SuBCULtUrE IS ABLEISt BC DEaF PeOpLE CaN'T LIStEN TO It--" as a reason for why they think they can call it an aesthetic or a fashion style. Like.

1. Blind people can't see aesthetics so what are you getting at here exactly?? Is liking aesthetics bad because some people can't see them? Your own logic is working against you here tbh..

2. The people saying this generally aren't deaf and therefore probably shouldn't be speaking for the deaf community. (I don't intend to either, so if you're deaf and reading this and there's something you'd like for me to correct or work on, please feel free.)

3. I'm sure most goths would be chill w a deaf person hanging out w them as long as they understand the history and are participating in the community in some meaningful way. Like, they might not be able to hear the music, but they may still be able to read/appreciate the written lyrics, or maybe they can't hear the music but they still enjoy clubbing and like participating in goth nights… And there are still deaf music artists so that's always an option too- Plus, some deaf people can still like music on occasion bc hearing aids have gotten really advanced, so to lump them all together as being completely unable to enjoy it at all is strange… There's a lot of ways a deaf person could still be able to chill in a music subculture. I don't think anyone is intentionally excluding deaf people from the scene. I would like to think most people would be understanding in that specific scenario.

..Doesn't explain why an able-bodied person with access to as much music as they could ever possibly want through the internet gets to totally ignore it though. I think it says a lot that these people are aware of their privilege to be able to listen to music and participate in the community in that way, but instead decide to use disabled people as a shield for why they shouldn't have to put in even a tiny bit of effort before claiming a 40+ year old subculture for themselves. They don't actually care about making goth more accessible, if they did they'd be subtitling music videos, or posting the lyrics and translations of goth songs to lyric sites, or making more efforts to make goth events more comfortable for disabled people… But no. It's just about them.

4. Even if someone decided being goth wasn't for them because they were deaf and couldn't hear the music, no one is saying you're a lesser person or "bad" somehow for not being a goth. Like. Deaf people can be goth. But becoming a goth isn't a requirement. If it's not your thing it's not your thing, but it does mean a lot to the people who have been in the subculture for a long time. If you like the fashion and not the music, just use another word for it (alt/darkalt is a personal favorite of mine, but there's other tags you can use too) and call it a day, no one's judging you for that. It's not like people who don't like goth music can't express themselves with fashion or moodboards, I'm fine with that. I like doing that myself. Just don't call it goth if it doesn't have anything to do with goth music. Don't flood a music tag with completely unrelated content. It's rlly not that hard. Idk why people get so hung up on NEEDING to use this one word for things that have nothing to do with that word. It's absurd the lengths people will go just to take over someone else's label when it's totally unnecessary.

I'd love to hear thoughts from the actual disabled community on the topic though. What do you think goths could do to make the space more accessible? How do you feel about these kinds of arguments?? I'd like to get to know more about the subject.

[alegator]

hiii everyone :D i miss tumblr so bad and the ability to make long form blog posts ugh twitter is not the same plus the site and app are literally so shit. even though the tumblr app is not much better sometimes!! ive decided i want to post more on here to continue my little virtual diary…. I love the tagging system and most of all, love being able to look back and read my own updates!!! it’s crazy how it can help me recall the exact feeling of that moment… it feels special :) Twitter is great for quick fleeting thoughts so i wanna make lengthy life posts on here as a little time capsule, so i can have fun looking back and reading all my posts 10 years from now (if this site still exists. but i joined in 2011 and its still here so who knows). plus ive been posting my entire life on here for YEARS so who cares i will be vulnerable and over share and shit!!!!!! as is tumblr tradition… fuck it if youre my cousin on my homestuck side you can have my SSN.

moving on, here are fun life updates:

- celebrated my 11th anniversary on Feb 14th with the love of my life, Tenma!!!! i have been affectionately calling it the 7/11 anniversary since it’s been 11 years together, but also 7 years married 🤯 it actually fucks me up so bad that 2017 was 7 years ago like. genuinely lol FUCKKK HOOWWW 2017 should’ve been like 3 years ago. we choose to get married on the same day Tenma asked me out, which is also Valentine’s Day, and it was the best decision of all time for SO many reasons. maybe i will make a fun big post detailing those thoughts that another time!! we spent our anniversary day trying out a new coffee spot (so cute and SO pink omg), taking photo booth pictures at a new spot, exploring cute shops, and having an insanely delicious set menu i think maybe 6 courses? at a very fancy restaurant. i think 3 years ago we tried a new restaurant on our anniversary w their set Valentine’s Day menu course and it was so good, fun, and the best way to try out new foods so we’ve kept it going and i LOVE IT!!!!! i am already excited to see what tenma picks out for next year lol. finished the night by watching In The Mood For Love at our favorite local movie theater and i LOVED the movie, the whole end until bedtime we were just talking about it and dissecting it together. i love our life!!!!!!!!!

-tenma and i went to disneyland at the end of February for our anniversary trip!! ive gone before but they haven’t. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUN i am not a Disney fan at all but i love disneyland idk it’s just fun as fuck… um my feet were fucked afterwards lol but so worth it. one day at disneyland and the next at California aventure i wanna go back already but most importantly, tenma was already talking about wanting to go back and that makes me so happy bc it means they really enjoyed it!!! yay!!!! they even went on rides they thought were really scary just so we could try them together just once and that filled my heart with joy. then we also got to meet my online friend and had hotpot together. DELICIOUS i want to go back and explore LA next time and see more friends!!!! we are maybe planning a trip to San Fran in a few months though as the consulate is there to get my passport so that will take priority over any other trips☝🏼

-I GOT MY GREENCARD YEAGHHRHRHFJF!!!!!!!! ok actually i got it last year lol i wasn’t sure if i should put that on here but actually im so happy so fuck it!!! and then we celebrated by having a fancy dinner and I shared the news w the waiter who said he also did the same process w his wife! and yes i cried when i got my greencard idc i am HAPPY! crazy bc i got DACA for the first time in 2013 and then in 2023 i got my greencard… it’s been a fucking rollercoaster. and tenmas been there literally every step of the way…. Tenma is my rock I love them so much im crying typing this bc of how much i love them and how much they always support me and augnfngnfmg

-concerts this year have been Sonic symphony, kikuo/bo en/gus, Hannah Diamond, and hatsune miku (mikuexpo 2024)!!!!!!!! i loved all of the concerts genuinely so fun and next month i am taking my youngest sibling to a concert of a guy I don’t know but they love him so we will go and have a blast 🫡 idk if I’ll buy more tickets to more concerts but even if I don’t, it’s been a really really good year concert wise and i got to experience so many fun shows i never thought i would see live before!!

-spent time with lovely friends and celebrated old friendships and new ones yaaaay i love my friends and im blessed to have a good support system and I can’t wait to see what new friends I make in the future….

-I have a cold rn and took nighttime meds and unfortunately they are starting to hit so it’s time to say goodnight to tumblr…

If you read this far ummm ok weirdo… lol just kidding but i will try and post my lil life updates and pics more often so that not all my posts are like. months worth of writing… or maybe I won’t and the next time I make a post will be in a year idk!!!! this site is full of so many memories both good and bad and it’s dear to my lil heart, even if the feel isn’t the same since everyone mass migrated to Twitter, I want to come back here more often and make new memories whenever I can. goodnight 💤

[nahimjustfeelingit-writes]

thank you for the advice. I will try to find a writing tribe and try to flip my mindset around. I did a lot of writing on ao3, fanfiction.net and inkitt but started on mibba years ago. I ended up deleting my inkitt all together just because in general it’s hard to build a following there and majority of the stories they push are the typical billionaire/mob/mafia/werewolf/plain jane/damsel in distress etc tropes. if I hadn’t heard such horrible things about wattpad’s algorithm, I might’ve tried my luck there.

I know that everyone won’t like what I write, but I had readers telling me they would read whatever I put out and it just didn’t happen. there weren’t too many books about the same topic that I found, and the ones I did find were male centered, and I was trying to do the opposite. I appreciate all the tips and you sharing your experience 💙 I haven’t posted anything for months, but I’ll leave the documents alone now. thank you for taking the time to help me. you’re amazing at what you do which is why I asked you for help. I don’t know if it’s a goal of yours, but I could see your work on the big screen and I hope I do. we need fresh material, and you know how to captivate an audience. if you ever decide to put a price tag on your writing, my coins are ready! have a good night!

I have an A03 and I don’t use it at all lmao the Fanfiction.net however how is that going? I’ve tried to pull up my account to read and it’s weird idk if the site is down or not. Wattpad and I have a bad relationship lmao I had an account on there when I started writing and I had so many followers and so much engagement and somehow it got deleted! So I had to create a new one and I haven’t updated there since. Have you thought about Tumblr? I feel like this is the fastest way to get engagement besides Wattpad.

Awww thanks so much!!!!!!! & the thing with readers you really never truly know their intentions. You can kind of gage what they prefer to read and what they don’t and go from there, but it sucks when you’re trying something new and they don’t reciprocate!

You’re welcome you can talk to me anytime 🩵 & that’s really nice of you to say 😭 I feel like I would have a long way to go with that but it feels good knowing that you guys are so encouraging!

[ventiffy]

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹𝓈 𝓊𝓈 𝓉𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 ♡ PT.4

EHEH *cries* GUESS WHO GOT THEIR *beep* PERIOD.... MEE! *cries again* ANYWAYS HERE IS pt.4 OF I FORGOT, jk, "The alliance that bounds us together"

FOR NEW PEOPLE, YES IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE TAGS NOR SEEN THE HEADER (picture above).THIS. IS. A. DOTTORE FIC BC I LOVE HIM UGGH.. before any Dottore hater comes in my replies saying I shouldn't write these fics since they ship the reader with a HORRIBLE person... go away. Your comment doesn't compete with my love for him ever since his unhinged little self came into the manga. I read the manga before playing the game and so basically ever since I started playing genshin, even though he never appeared in game he was my fav character (AND I KNOW HIS LORE, IVE READ EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE THAT REVEALS SOME OF HIS LORE, I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM)--(plus my post don't appear when at your home page so u either 1 follow me or looked at the tags so, you asked to see something like this- RANT OVER -

WARNINGS: should've put this for the last one BUT Dottore is named as "Zandik", mention of Pantalone (This shouldn't be a warning, just that I'm not going to put Pantalone in the tags cuz, this fic isn't about him so like why should I do that? MENTION OF TORTURE... NOT IN THE WAY YOU WOULD THINK THOUGH- READER IS AGED UP, SCHOOL = SOMETHING LIKE UNIVERSITY IDK- NOT PROOFREAD FOR NOW BECAUSE IM IN TOO MUCH PAIN, mention of the word : heck and hell

Summary: Just look at the part plz, this intro is getting too long-

You came back home safely. It felt as you went on a normal walk although, you had a particular destination that was not related to school at all. To you it felt just like a normal walk but instead of merely walking alone, you were with somebody to which you could interact with!

You decided to go on Zandik s' account, you remember not seeing any post, instead he only got tagged by accounts that you didn't care much about. The reason why they appeared on post/tagged was basically out of honor of sort. Heck, the Snezhnayan government even mentioned him on their post about how some particular doctor of theirs had figured a discovery that they'll look into professionally. Theirs? What did they mean by theirs? Did Zandik work for them. Already, you heard how the training to just become a soldier there was torture. Huh, good for him then. He was able to go through the stress of becoming a Doctor at the most demanding Akademiya AND he was able to put up with straight up torture the training gave him. You knew people were serious when they said you'll most likely die at the trainings then when you're actually at war. The Fatui had to set up their own healing buildings near their departments due to how many soldiers get ALMOST fatally injured. But yet, you found it weird. Neither did being a trainee in the Fatui nor did being a student at Sumeru Akademiya give you any breaks, so how did he manage to accomplish both and succeed further on. He looked young, possibly in his twenties. So, he couldn't really graduate and go straight to the Fatui. Since, trainings take 3 months to do since soldiers have to get to go in their camps in their group.

They take about a week if their lucky to walk to a certain destination in the middle of nowhere, yet they also have to go through the heavy snow, the icy wind while wearing a uniform almost made for the summer. They also have to go through storms on flat terrains which end in to soldiers getting electrocuted, through avalanches if their route makes them go by the edge of mountains during a storm. Then they get to site, yet you also have to know they are carrying all of their materials, even whatever they'll use as shelter and food to which they have to unpack and build on whatever terrain was given to them, whether it's bumpy or not, they decide whether they want to sleep in their sweaty uniform in a somewhat secured space or outside during maybe storms since that is the most frequent disaster experienced on a daily basis by the land of Snezhnaya itself.

After that torture, the next day they'll have to wake up early, most soldiers in training get 5 hours of sleep at that time. And then, for about more then two months wit their commander they'll have to go on expedition all while going through courses such as going on one without wearing any form of shoes or socks, they'll have to use weapons against enemy camps. If they get hurt, they have to wait to get healed only after they get back to camp, which leads to infections. They are forced to swim through cold lakes in the early morning when the temperatures are at their coldest. So on and so on.

So basically, now you kind of had an idea that one maybe he didn't work at all. But, on that particular post, they mentioned "past soldier" then they tagged his "@". And, you can't really join before the time you're officially an adult so basically older than 18 years of age. You decided that nothing really peeked your interest so you decided to see who was following him.

Huh.

How?

How was a harbinger following him if he was some random Fatui soldier? Was it usual for the 9th to follow all sorts of Fatui soldiers..? Maybe the ones he trains..? No, the 9th doesn't train since he doesn't fight...

Maybe the one who takes the 9th place of the 11 Fatui Harbingers, used to be a Student at that Akademiya. Both of them looked around the same age and both of them were smart enough to be at least decent at that school. But, wasn't there a rumour that Pantalone grew up poor, the fees of that school have a price that not just anybody can afford, unless they have a scholarship. But only those seen as "average" get them.

But, although the possibilities were rare... Could Zandik and Dottore be the same person all at once?

It would make sense though since, Zandik only said he went to the Akademiya. He never said if he graduated from it though. And Dottore has is past sort of well known to those whose work has been somewhat related to his. Now most people know that he was expelled from that Akademiya for his inhuman experiments but, one of the higher harbingers, supposedly the first, gave him the opportunity to continue testing those blasphemous theories of his.

But, it was late. You didn't want to ask him any questions. Maybe you'll ask him tomorrow at his lab.

Me reading this is in like one year wondering what the hell was I doing:

Y'all reading the end basically realizing I did a cliff hanger once again (maybe on the verge on blocking (MAYBE unfollowing - 😒) me for being lazy and not writing the end bc I write right before sleeping-:

YEAH UHH adding memes at the end of my posts is definitely something I'll start doing more because it's fun. *cries in cramp pain* I MAY START AN AO3 WHERE I UPLOAD ALL THE CHAPTERS OF THIS FIC- ANYWAYS BYEEE-

[duckingwriting]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting

Thanks to @eponymoussquared for the tag! 

I’ve had so much going on recently and I’m behind my tag games but I’m hoping to catch up.

Rules: Follow the directions in bold.

No pressure tagging: @rachaellawrites, @ghost-town-story,  @late-to-the-fandom, @jowritesfanfiction, @author-a-holmes, @raevenlywrites and anyone else who'd like to do this.

Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Oh blippity bloppity pretending I don’t curse like a sailor the summer is like half way done fuck. The WIP I’m working on the most during this summer is the western fantasy gay retelling of Robin Hood. It still needs a title. I’m going to pretend that I’m not going to put that off to the last second. It came about as a stray thought of one scene that made a less than sober me giggle. And has sense grown. It follows a Phil, the sheriff, and his outlaw lover, Robin, as they try to find out who killed their friend. There are griffins and hippogriffs, shootouts, murder, fist fights, and make up sex.

Recommend a book

A Heart of Blood and Ashes by Milla Vane. I came to this book for a fun fantasy story. It is part of a series(I have not read the second or third book) but it has excellent story telling and some very nice spicey scenes. I could not put this book down, I was reading it like I was a teenager trying to escape from the abusive relationship I had with my family again. Strokes that need for the Alpha-hole while he also gets to learn that maybe he can not be a dick head. Love the characters so much. Biggest reason I haven’t read the sequel is I’m not ready to risk any change in tones. Will there be? i don’t know for sure but it’s always that fear in the back of my mind.

Recommend a fic

Oh god...just one? I feel this is cruel and unusual punishment. After some consideration, and highly considering breaking the rules and just doing a screenshot of my recent history, I decided to go with Issues by g33kg1rl. It’s on AO3(I’m not sure if it’s on any of the other fanfiction sites, I haven’t looked). It is for a small fandom, Loonatics Unleashed(only 116 fics total in that fandom, and IDK how many of those are actually crossovers). Shipping Rev and Tech(OTP). I am not a fan of OCs in stories, But the OCs in this story are amazing. I’ve been a fan of the show for years and was not convinced they were not cannon characters until I consulted google because they are integrated so damn well.

Recommend music 

Okay, okay....trust me for a moment...Good Lookin’ by Dixon Dallas. My wife sent it to me and I was like “okay just a country song...I don’t understand what...wait...what did he say?” It’s gay. Very...very gay. And I love it. The phrase “Bouncing off my booty cheeks” will live rent free in my mind for eternity. 

[inklore]

Hey dear! How long since I wrote to you, I don't know if I can ask but could you give me some advice on how to edit/theme/customize your blog in an aesthetic way?

Idk, even basic tips are fine, I really love seeing your blog and I think you have really good taste in aesthetics ❤️

hey lovey! it would be my pleasure to try and help you <3. i say try because my explaining skills are the absolute worst but i will do my best lmao. gonna do this in bullet points ok:

have an idea / inpisration / a crumb of what you want your blog to look like! you can find inspo literally anywhere, a friends blog even (but please remember to always ask and don't take it harshly if said person declines you doing so). pinterest is also amazing for this, looking up graphics, different aesthetics, templates, i literally have a board on my pinterest i've had for years now where i get graphic inspo or where i go when i just need to feed my creative juices to put me in the mood to create something. canva is also great, i literally go on there and look up headers, moodboards, etc and just star them for later. keywords are everything as well, so like 'aesthetic here + color, vibe, look, graphic, template' helps sites like canva and pin lead you in the right direction. same with just typing things like 'green, grunge, lovecore, etc'.

edit on desktop! now i know not everyone has a laptop or ipad or the ability to do this but i highly rec it over editing on the janky mobile app where sometimes things save and sometimes they don't. plus i always use one of the random saved user blogs i have to make a test layout / theme so if i don't like it everything on my main blog is fine, didn't change, and i didn't waste all that time on a theme i don't even want to look at lmao. so making a side blog where you do that is also great cause you can just copy and paste your nav post over, you can take the graphics you've already made and upload them onto your main without second guessing if they look good because you've already seen what it all looks like!

start small! by that i mean start with a simple theme or idea and build up from that. don't just start with seven graphics and ideas and overwhelm yourself. sometimes i just think of a color and be like yeah i'm make something with this color or wrapped around that color and i create something great.

ask a friend for help! i can't tell you how many times i've asked friends if this theme looked good or to send me inspo pics or what theme they think i should do, or even asked them to help me find resources. utilize your besties and mutuals.

not everyones aesthetic is the same! some people like messy themes, some like overdone, some like super simple. don't compare yourself to anyone!!!! everyone creates differently, everyone sees colors and aesthetics amd themes differently. no matter what you decide to go with is all your own and great and special.

etc: putting all your most important links in your nav is always a good rule of thumb (anything you really want to highlight as well), if you use pngs they're all over tumblr and pinterest 'transparent' + 'png' at the end or beginning of what you're looking for will always lead you in the right direction, and when it comes to pngs i highly rec adding them to a white background or transparent one and make the size of the background 500px and move the png halfway / towards the bottom (centered) of the background so tumblr doesn't make your header all the way at the top and ugly, don't make your nav post too long, take colors from your images / aesthetics to incorporate throughout the whole theme so everything meshes well together, don't use flashy dividers because it's not good on a lot of users eyes and unless you state a tw in the tags it's just not as cool as some people think lol.

that's all i can think of but if you have any more questions bby my pms are open!!

[cherrypeaking]

good morning~ how’s my beautiful woman doing? 🥺🩵 i hope you slept well~

i took a preemptive pain killer to drive my cramps away but somehow my body didn’t get the memo so my cramps started coming at full force 😭😭 it was so bad that i tried to get up and run away from the pain but you can’t run from the pain if it’s in your body 😭😭😭😭 so now i’m laying in bed trying to recover djshhss

i’m looking back at our conversation from earlier and it’s so wonderful that we’re so comfortable around each other 🥺🥺🩵🩵 it had me yearning to be by your side already 🥺🩵

aaah i can’t stop thinking about you baby i want to hold your hand and kiss your knuckles >//< i wanna do a bunch of romantic stuff with you 🥺🩵🩵 it’s so funny that we both related to anti romantic so much at one point and now look at us 😭😭 we went from anti romantic to hydrangea love hehe 🤭🩵🩵🩵 it’s funny but it’s also so beautiful and it makes me so glad that we took our time with each other 🥺 i would’ve waited however long for you~ i knew i only wanted you before you even asked what we were djshhs 😳😳👉🏾👈🏾🩵 you’re a lot braver than you let on honestly!! i know you get shy and nervous a lot but you’re so brave to me baby 🥺🥺 so brave and strong and powerful~ i admire you so much 🥺 my baby’s simply the coolest~ 🥺🩵🩵

(taehyun as THEE baby star 🥺🥺⭐️⭐️ i couldn’t choose one pic of tyun or one jirachi pic so here’s a rare 4 pic collage :3)

in other news, i think twitter is back up now so i can go back to tagging you in cute stuff :3 but that app is on its last strike with me idk how much longer i can take the muskrat screwing it over and changing things that never needed to be changed :/ but ultimately it’s okay if i leave twitter bc i have you and a perfectly loving community here on tumblr dot corn 🥺🥺🩵🩵 and as much as this site has its own problems the love and community i’ve found here is worth more than anything any dim witted ceo could mess up 🥹🥹🫶🏾🫶🏾🩵🩵

i love you so much my love~ as always, i hope you have a great day!! i’m here rooting for you my love, my little fairy princess 🥺🩵

P.S look at our themes side by side we’re literally so cute 😭😭😭🩵🩵🩵

my love 🥺🥺🩷 getting to read your ask really made me feel better… and talking to you ultimately… like i told you i woke up from a nightmare but i feel way better thanks to you 🥺🥺🩷 i just had my caramel coffee~ it’s funny that even though you don’t really like coffee, my caramel coffee always makes me think of you 🤭🩷

hmhm :(( i feel like it happens to me too like some period cramps are so painful all you can do is sleep it off?? i’m so sorry like why do we have to go through this :(( im so glad you’re feeling better… mommy deserves kisses and tummy rubs 🥺🥺

i loved our conversation as well >\\\< it was so cute and just like you i love that we get to communicate and feel comfortable to share everything 🥺🥺🩷

mommy 🥺🥺 i would love that so much… i do get lots of romantic thoughts about you my sweetie pie 🥺🥺🩷 please i do find it so funny cause antiromantic was basically my jam i was thinking no bye i’m not going for relationships anymore 😑 and then i met you 🥺🥺🩷 it’s so cute that you think that i’m brave >\\\< i was actually very excited and nervous and anxious and trying to know exactly when i’d be ready 🥺🥺 i want to live what we have to the fullest and that’s when i decided to ask you out 👉👈🩷 to me you’re really the coolest and strongest, my girlfriend is the best 🥺🥺🩷 i remember you were saying the same, no more relationships or maybe just one but then i’m done and i was thinking omg so true queen and then- FHSBFBDB 👉👈🩷🥺 i love you my crystal gem 🥺🩷🩵💎

MOMMYYYYY MY TWO BIGGEST COMFORTS (outside of you~) 🥺🥺🥺 they look so so cute my love 🥺😭🩷🩷 thank you so much 🥺🩷

tbh same :( i feel like i’m gonna be there for much longer unless that rate limit thing is indeed temporary… what sucks is especially for txt content and translations it was really good to have access to twt… i’m happy twitter hasn’t really been on my mind ever since i came here and met you my love 🥺🩷 our cute little community is very much loving and caring and i love being here, way more than there~ so if i had to leave i know i would stay here despite the lags hehe :3 🩷🩷

i love you so much as well mommy 🥺🥺🩷 you’re my queen~ my garden fairy 🥺🥺🩷 im always rooting for you too my love, thank you so much 🥺🥺🩷

PLEASE OMG LOOKING AT THEM SIDE BY SIDE THEY ARE SO CUTE OUR BLOGS ARE SO CUTE 🥹🥹🩷 this tyunning concept is really top tier and we sport it so well as tyuntwinz 🤭🩷

[heyeinin]

i , once again, for no good reason at all, have redesigned cherp. not posting screenshots of the last time cuz it was ugly and i was just curious what i could get up to with the existing css. this, however, is a ground-up purely design-based rebuild that i did from scratch that required me to brute-force learn javascript because i am.... insane.

heres the link if you wanna click things though 95% of the things you can click do nothing, except the directory menu and the expand/collapse buttons on the prompts. i coded the javascript myself and its only my second attempt at doing so.

notes/fun stuff i learnt while doing this under the cut, with information starting from the top of the doc to the bottom.

so when i started this project my first thought was about how to make the header look less like "cherubplay with the serial numbers ground off" and i decided to go for a single inline "logo"/nav setup. i like the two navbars and actually preserved it on smaller screens/mobile (as is necessary, frankly) but tossed it for the desktop version. i think this looks fun & modern and adds a unique touch that keeps it from looking too much like cherubplay.

the nav bar gave me some trouble. if you click the "directory" button, you get a dropdown of links accessible through the directory (which, since this happens to be a directory page, is the links under "navigation" in the sidebar as well.) this gave me so much trouble-- right now its just a onClick toggler that adds or removes the "show" class, which is just... a single class with the "display: block;" declaration. i did at one point have this as a clickable link that would take you straight from the directory, but if you HOVERED (or rather, onMouseOvered) over the directory button, it would actually bring a popup menu of these links. and when you stopped hovering over the popup link menu (or onMouseExited as the case may be) the menu would disappear. however this proved to be a huge bitch on mobile and i didnt love it so i replaced it with the current onClick menu.

im not sure this is done as best as it can be done. the onClick menu isnt in the nav element, its outside of it, which i think is probably bad for screenreaders. unfortunately i was using a flex div inside the header (which holds the "cherp logo" which is actually text (h1) as well as the navigation links) so when i tried to keep it inside the nav header it just caused the whole thing to expand, which i didnt love. i have no clue how i would go about fixing this right now, so its staying

i was thinking of coding some meta elements for this-- like, say, a toggler for if you wanted to preview the site as if you had a new unread-- but decided not to because i was getting angry. but maybe in the future. for the record, my idea for new unreads was to have a "glowing" (read: span of "(1 unread" with a text shadow of the lightest color) notification in the header. this would obviously be lost on mobile..... or maybe it wouldnt. i just realized ive never tried to apply text-shadow to bootstrap icons. maybe that would work. idk

anyway moving on toooo THE SIDEBAR!

the sidebar on cherp has always pissed me off. everything about it makes me angry. i am not joking. i "fixed it" (read: made it look the way I WANT!!!) in stylus and imported those styles here. here are the major changes i made

i made the search dropdown the full width of the div to match the search box which IS the full width of the div

i moved the dropdown links out of the dropdowns

i made the text size consistent across the buttons, inputs, and dropdowns

i moved the advanced search button beneath the other two (this one i did because i aligned the buttons to the right and i felt it looked silly otherwise.)

i used the hr element which. holld on what does hr stand for. like img srrc stands for image source but what does. okay w3schools was useless for that but i used the hr tag to separate the different sections rather than having two dropsdowns. i think this looks neater.

and now moving on to THE MAIN CONTENT!

the changes here are incredibly minor and are mostly quality of life. however i think they would be useful but even more importantly, fun!

first of all, i changed the nsfw extreme tag to a different color red. the other warning tags-- and every other warning that isnt nsfw extreme (so nsfws and nsfwv) show up as the slightly darker red that the regular extreme warning tags show up as. originally this had a little text-shadow too for a glow but i thought that was overkill becausseeeee

i was thinking that, if you were searching the directory by a tag, it would be fun to highlight the tag you were searching for as it appears in prompts. this would be kind of redundant given that every single prompt that would appear when you searched would obviously have the tag in it, but like..... i think it would be fun.

anyway, aside from that, i divvied up the fandom/character/gender tags with some colors to show where they end and begin. i think this looks neater. it looks nice with a few fandoms and is helpful if you have a LOT of fandoms because it would show where the characters start, so if youre, say, in a tag for a fandom and the prompt has 20 fandoms tagged with 5 characters each, you can see at a glance where the characters start to see if the character you want to play is one that theyre looking for.

this is a minor detail, but in the expand/collapse buttons, i tried to add enough padding that they didnt partially cover up the last word in the prompt. i care.

some final notes:

the code in this is so messy and contains a lot of redundant code or code that i started to use and then decided not to use and just left. it was also my second attempt at writing my own javascript (the first was creating a dark mode for a different webpage) so its probably............ inefficient. but i made it work and im very proud of myself. yes it took hours because i tried to brute force it

its mobile compatible! peek at it on your phone.

i would have liked to have added other features such as darkmode and a meta information toggler (preview a fake unread for instance) but i didnt do that

if you are scrolled any amount down the page, when you click on the directory button, it brings you to the top. i think i know why this happens but idk how to fix it sorry lol

i would have added keyboard prompt navigation which is like my #1 cherp 3.0 wish but unfortunately when i googled it it looked like it required jquery which i am not fighting with until i finish this stupid javascript course on vanilla javascript

........ yup. thats it bye

[bifidonut]

wow it’s been a while since I’ve done a little ask game, ty @wackmxter ✨

(apparently the app doesn't let you copy more than one line of text at a time 🥴 so now that i finally am opening my laptop this week here i am)

15Qs / 15 Mutuals

lol idk if i even have 15 (active) mutuals these days so uhhhh i'll just tag @asthma-goddess @actualhero @j1r4ch2 @uglyluckylucky and if anyone else wants to do this one go nuts, i'm not tagging more people because i'm shy 👉👈

1. Are you named after anyone?

nah my mom got my name from a baby name book in the 90s BUT what's wild is that she gave me and my brother Irish names based on the fact that she was told my grandma's birth family was Irish... which is wild because we had no proof of that until like 2 years ago when she was able to find half of my grandma's birth family thru those genetic testing family tree sites. so it's a good thing that was true because it would have been kinda weird in hindsight if we weren't

2. When was the last time you cried?

um 🧍‍♀️. like an hour ago while i was in the shower... i think i'm PMSing a little bit because it kinda came on suddenly and then i was fine lol

3. Do you have kids?

no

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

listen if you lived with my boyfriend you would too

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

hmmm idk beyond basic physical appearance stuff like height/hair color/whatever i guess maybe their sense of style and how they seem to present themselves?

6. What’s your eye color?

hazel

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

bold of you to assume those are mutually exclusive, person who wrote this initially! anyways both.

8. Any special talents?

i think i'm fairly perceptive, and i'm also good at blowing bubbles

9. Where were you born?

colorado 🏔🦌⛺

10. What are your hobbies?

scrolling on my fucking phone forever if we're being real but i also like cooking, baking, video games, listening to podcasts, and maybe someday getting back into reading

11. Have you any pets?

no

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

i played soccer for like. a year not even when i was 6 or 7. i'm a delicate flower though so sports weren't really ever my thing lol

13. How tall are you?

5' 1"

14. Favorite subject in school?

science or biology specifically in hs

15. Dream job?

been thinking about this lately... currently i work in the R&D department of a biotech company and i like it a lot for the most part, and in general i really enjoy being a research scientist but i don't think it's a job i want to be in forever... in no small part because the role i'm in now is sort of "entry" level, so you're sort of naturally expected to rise through the ranks over the years but these days it just gets harder and harder to do that without a master's degree or higher. so i think i might go back to school once i decide what kind of specialty i would want to be in and then i think settling into a more established scientist role could be nice. but honestly i also think i'd make a pretty decent lab manager since i'm insane lol. also considered pivoting into science writing for a spell because i think that could be something i could do on a part time/freelance basis if i find myself in the family way but idk.

tl;dr i currently do science and would like to keep doing science without ruining my hands by pipetting for like 40 years