#i might be emotional about mike ok | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mikesbasementbeets · 1 year

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ok. look at these.

look. that's the same look. right?

let's take a closer look. to do that, i'm gonna have to zoom in a bit on the first one. because, as you can immediately see, the shots are slightly different. the first is a little farther away, showing both mike and el, walking next to each other, whereas the second is much more intimate, a closeup on mike's expression as he looks at will's face in the foreground. a minor but telling difference about the levels of emotional intimacy in each scene.

so, moving past that first element of contrast, let's look at each shot in full, because in both of these scenes, mike goes on a bit of a face journey before he gets to that final smiling expression, seen above.

personally, i think studying actors' body language and micro-expressions is inconclusive at best, but i won't deny that these look similar. however, it's pretty clear to me that they aren't the same.

toward el, i see confusion, intrigue, maybe pleasant surprise, followed by a glance down (to emotionally process and/or watch his step), and then a nervous but friendly smile.

toward will, i see awe, relief, and overwhelming affection, followed by a shy glance down and a slight schooling of his slack jawed expression into a warm smile.

but, again, that's just my interpretation, and i can't say with any certainty what the intention of all of finn's micro-expressions are. but from my perspective, even a surface level viewing of these two expressions depicts a very different emotional experience. however: there's no denying the connection between these two scenes. they clearly mirror each other, just like a lot of things about mike's relationships with el and will mirror each other. i don't think that's an accident.

whatever you think his sexuality is, mike is undeniably in a romantic narrative with el. beginning in season one episode three, when the concept of their romantic relationship is introduced, the narrative arc mike and el share is heavily focused on that relationship. the first scene above actually happens in that same episode (s1e3), not coincidentally almost directly afterward. and the former scene, with mike, lucas, and dustin behind the baseball field, provides very interesting context for several reasons:

first: bear with me, because we're going back to look at the context behind this context. this is only episode three of the show, but already there's a lot going on, both in text and subtext.

and since we have the entirety of their relationship so far presented to us on screen, when lucas accuses mike of looking at el romantically, we're easily able to go back and figure out where he got that impression: we can examine every time lucas has seen mike look at el at all.

the first night, after finding el in the woods instead of will, and while insisting that the next day she'd be gone and they could focus on will again, mike's behavior is directly reminiscent of benny's. taking el in, and providing her with shelter, food, and clothing.

the next day, after learning that she's in danger and changing his mind about pawning her off on his mother, mike infers that she might know something about will. when lucas arrives, he exclaims that she recognized him and knew he was missing.

later, when lucas tells her that will is their friend, she asks what that means and mike explains. a friend...

and then she displays that she might really be able to help them find will. and mike looks at her like this:

each and every one of these interactions is directly related to will. but lucas, through the omnipresent lens of heteronormativity that surrounds boys' interactions with girls (especially a group of boys who have no experience with girls... more on that in a bit), only seems to consider the fact that mike's behavior, which is undeniably about will, is being directed at el.

throughout season one (and beyond, in more subtle ways), will and el are repeatedly connected to each other through the trope of mistaken identity. will is abducted on the same night (and due to the same series of events) that el escapes the lab. hopper, in his investigation into will's disappearance, keeps running into clues about el. and mike, lucas, and dustin, sneaking out in episode one to search for will, find el instead.

later in the season, hopper eventually realizes the truth of his own more overt mistaken identity arc: while he was under the assumption that he'd been following will's trail, he'd actually been following el's. interestingly, the realization is triggered by one specific distinguishing difference, which tells him beyond a doubt that he's been looking for two different kids: their art.

though much more subtle (aka hidden in the subtext), mike's arc with his feelings about will and el follows a very similar pattern. the main difference, though, is that in season one, the swapping of places is eventually reversed but never acknowledged as such, and mike ends season one with el now missing and will back in his life, but a lingering sense of something yet unresolved.

second: (i'm not going to deep dive into this one here, because it's a whole analysis in and of itself, but i need to mention it because it is relevant) this scene introduces the recurring motif of superheroes being directly connected to mike's feelings for el, which is an association we see follow them all the way into season four and become a defining metaphor for their incompatibility.

third: lucas is the character who first introduces mike's romantic feelings for el into the narrative. and instead of giving any indication that lucas' interpretation is correct, mike's reaction is... difficult to read. his response is immediately defensive, both verbally ("what are you talking about?" "shut up, lucas,") and physically (leaning away and shielding himself when lucas hugs him). we can infer from the original character descriptions why mike might be defensive about this subject:

obviously, this description is only a vague impression of what Mike Wheeler became, but it's clear that the core elements of his character outlined here did come to fruition on screen. here, mike's insecurity is linked both to the bullying he undergoes, and to his inexperience/ineptitude with girls. and it's presented as key to his character motivation (the original concept of his character arc put forth here is very straightforward: at the start, mike has insecurity centered around bullying and is romantically inexperienced. by the end, mike has courage against monsters and romantic experience.)

in any case, this scene is the first hint of this aspect of mike's character in the show itself (the earlier scene of bullying in the show focusing on mike consoling dustin over what he’s being bullied for (“i think it's kinda cool. it’s like you have superpowers or something!”)... see my last point here… mike holds the idea of superpowers in high regard, and they are consistently connected with his feelings about el. something about the mistaken identity through-line feels apt here: mike mistakes his feelings of admiration for el as feelings of romance.) in this scene, mike is confronted with both romance (in direct relation to himself for the first time in the show) and bullying.

but due to the way this is shot, it's impossible to get a read on what mike is truly feeling. it reminds me a lot of another scene, actually...

in both of these scenes, mike's genuine emotional reaction is hidden from us. in the first, lucas forcibly hugs him, teasing him about how much he "loves" el, and in effect introducing the idea of el as a romantic prospect to mike. in the second, el hugs mike tightly, her hand still around his neck from their kiss and his arm trapped in between them, similar to the way he shields himself from lucas. we're then shown that he's signed the card on the flowers squished between them "from, mike." hm. so... not love, as lucas suggests.

we come to learn over the course of season four that this is something mike is actively struggling with: his inability to "love" el in the way that she wants, expects, and deserves. this scene, introducing that season-long arc, conceals mike's true emotional state and motivations from us, again, mirroring the first introduction to their entire romantic plot line way back in season one.

(an aside: lucas' "if you love her so much, [then] why don't you marry her?" aka the inciting event of their romantic arc, is a based on a conditional statement with the hypothesis that mike loves el. as mr. clarke might posit (in, say, season one, episode one): what's the difference between an experiment and other forms of science investigation? ...well, an experiment is a controlled test of two or more variables against a hypothesis. does that remind you of anything happening in mike's romantic narrative? something about...... [murray voice] experimenting sexually?)

anyway. then, after extracting himself from el's embrace, mike finally drops his bag(gage) and opens his now empty arms to will, before preemptively cutting himself short with a punch to the shoulder.

...did someone say internalized homophobia?

and then immediately upon being introduced to argyle, mike is called out for his presentation here not being genuine. ("it's a shitty knock-off,"/"i really thought it was ocean pacific...") we're being told that something about mike's performance is not what it seems (and may even be a case of one thing being mistaken for something else).

and speaking of homophobia...

fourth (and finally): this scene, of lucas' teasing mike about his "love" for el, which i'll remind you again is tied directly to lucas mistaking mike's behavior regarding will as being solely about el, is quickly interrupted by an onslaught of homophobia, during which mike is specifically targeted (read: tripped) by the bullies.

the juxtaposition is immediate and obvious: mike's friends lovingly teasing him, even embracing him, over a crush on a girl vs. bullies maliciously taunting them about will being killed for being queer and then physically harming mike.

(there's also something to be said about the later scene in which these bullies force mike to drop his bike in the woods and chase him to the edge of the quarry, mirroring exactly how the cops assume will must have died... and, to be clear, i'm not saying that mike himself is being bullied for being queer in the way will was. no, mike's queerness is invisible to those around him in a way that will's isn't, so his relationship with it and the ways it affects him are hidden in subtext.)

which brings us directly to the following scene in the woods. el asks about mike's injury (sustained from the aforementioned bullying, thereby linking these two scenes even more concretely) and with a little prodding ("friends don't lie"), he opens up to her about what happened, and about being bullied at school. she listens, tells him she understands (this also follows her recent flashback of brenner's abuse in the lab), and they share a "cool," "cool," and a smile.

so... let's quickly jump over from here to the van scene with will. something similar, yet notably different, is happening in this scene, leading up to that infamous smile at the end. mike is sharing his insecurities with will now, but instead of will prodding him to open up, mike, prompted only by will's "she's gonna be okay," begins rambling so much about his insecurities (while speaking in superhero metaphors) that he eventually cuts himself off, saying it's "stupid." instead of letting him brush it off, will guesses exactly what mike is afraid of: "you're scared of losing her." he gives him The Painting (a symbol of his love for mike) and a long speech about feeling lost and different, while insisting upon mike's value (you're the heart, leading us, inspiring us, etc). and then they share a "yeah?" "yeah," and a smile.

so we can see the similarity in the way the shots are set up, the progression of the conversations, and mike's visible reactions. but we can also see distinct differences, all of which together inform a significant difference in emotional weight between these two scenes.

while mike's conversation in the woods with el takes place in the third episode of season one, at which point mike has known her for less than 48 hours, the van scene is in the second to last episode of season four, and is the fourth of five heart-to-hearts mike and will have this season alone (and following three previous seasons and beyond that years of close friendship). it is also arguably the climax of their shared arc this season. on the other hand, mike and el's season one moment is part of the introduction to their storyline, and the introduction to their romantic arc. in this moment in the woods, mike is looking at el romantically (did you think i was gonna argue that he isn't? because no, he definitely is). in fact, this is the beginning of mike's entire romantic arc, which sets out to address the foundational insecurity that is key to his character. we, as an audience, right alongside mike, have just been told (by lucas) that mike has romantic feelings for el. and then we are presented with this scene. we are supposed to view this as romantic. because mike is starting to view it as romantic.

had stranger things been one season long, then the climax of their romantic arc would have been the kiss they share in the cafeteria, followed by the denouement of el's symbolic death (the gay implications of which i could write another whole essay on...). but the end of season one was not the resolution of mike's full romantic arc. by the nature of the five act structure (which is what stranger things has, being five seasons), the entirety of season one serves as exposition for our full narrative. which means, in effect, that the entire arc of mike and el's season one relationship is there to serve as groundwork, a foundation for mike's complete five season arc. season one, starting from before he even meets el, all the way through to when he eventually kisses her and then loses her, is only act one of that arc. the first act of five act structure is when the driving conflict is presented. so in the context of the entire show, for us as the viewer, mike's narrative arc surrounding the romantic aspect of his insecurity begins with his season one "romance" with el.

and we know that this insecurity is an element of the full five-act narrative, rather than being presented and wrapped in the course of the mini "self contained" narrative of season one, because we can see plainly, three seasons later, particularly during mike's heart-to-hearts with will, that this insecurity has not yet been resolved. we know this, on a basic level, from having watched mike and el's relationship struggles progress, but it is still explicitly laid out for us in season four. and will is consistently the only person who genuinely hears mike out, encourages him to open up, and addresses his insecurities, instead of brushing him off, like most other people in his life (including will at some points) have done. will understands him in a way el only claimed to in season one.

looking back to the character outline: mike has now "kiss[ed] a girl" and even "had a girlfriend" and still hasn't resolved his insecurities even remotely. in fact, after the first season arc wraps up, this romantic relationship becomes the main source of that insecurity. his difficulty navigating a real romantic relationship with el is the basis of their arc in season three. and by season four, mike is consciously struggling with being unable to tell el that he loves her. despite will's reassurances that things will be okay (which stack onto lucas' constant relationship advice in season three), mike keeps circling back around to it. because he can't move forward on the path he is on.

he has reached a point of no return, like a “fight you can’t come back from.” he is unable to find the security he is searching for in his romantic relationship with el... and this is where we arrive back at the van scene with will.

if the scene in the woods marks the beginning of the introduction of mike's romantic arc, then the scene in the van marks the beginning of the conclusion of mike's romantic arc. if the introduction of his romantic arc (season one) presents his insecurity, then the natural conclusion of that arc (season five) is security. throughout season four, mike lays out for will the insecurity that his relationship with el still brings him. he is unable to find that security with el, and, in the van scene, finds it with will instead.

or, should i say, begins the journey to finding it. because, especially after the lie that brings them into that moment, and then traumatic pizza dough freezer incident, we're still at the beginning of the conclusion. there's still a lot to resolve, but season four (alongside mike, who now understands what he's been going through) finally began moving the subtext of mike's arc into the actual text. and this moment indicates that season five will take that next step to fully, textually, actualizing it.

so, getting back to the parallel we're looking at here: each of these scenes is a catalyzing moment in mike's romantic arc. in season one, when lucas suggests that mike has a crush on el, and then what follows is a conversation with el where she is (to quote lucas) "not grossed out" by him, he actively begins his journey toward resolving this character motivating insecurity. he looks at el and he sees the possibility of romance.

and just look at him. he looks excited. hopeful. a little nervous. but... i want to remind you again: mike has known el for less than 48 hours at this point. this is the first conversation they've had in which they've related to each other as equals. for their entire relationship before this and afterward, outside of their romantic interactions (and also. often. disturbingly. concurrent with their romantic interactions...), mike's role has been as el's protector, a makeshift father figure, the elliot to her E.T. here, though, el tells mike that she understands him.

in season one, mike is twelve years old (read: pre-pubescent). he has no personal understanding of or experience with romance. dustin starts to comment in s1e2, "you're letting a girl...?" and ted later scoffs "our son with a girl?" and outside of the queer coding, what we can take from both of these (which draw back to the original character description) is that mike has no experience with girls whatsoever. (outside of, you know. family. but that's not what this post is about.)

and again, this scene happens almost directly after lucas first introduces the idea of romance between them, both to the narrative, and to mike himself, who, very significantly, up until this point, has shown no romantic interest in el. the sequence of these events is not a coincidence. 1. lucas assumes mike has romantic feelings for el. 2. el and mike have a moment of personal connection and understanding 3. mike "boys only" wheeler puts these two together and assumes the connection between them must be romance. but the expression on mike's face here isn't a representation of already existing romantic feelings. there's no basis for those. again, this moment represents for mike the potential for romance.

which... makes his expression in the van scene hit even harder. because unlike el, will isn't a stranger he barely knows, but rather his best friend of ten years. and it isn't lucas telling mike how mike feels. it's will professing his own feelings about mike, in direct response to mike's self-professed insecurities. (ding ding ding, are your alarm bells going off?) mike's expression at the end of this scene, if we're viewing it as a reprise of his season one expression, is a representation of hope for his romantic future. but this time, heading into the resolution of mike's romantic arc, with all of the knowledge and context we (and mike) have gained over the course of the past four seasons, it's directed at will.

ok. so. with the basic connection between these two scenes established, i'm gonna move a little bit sideways here. at the end of their romantic arc in season one, el disappears from mike's life and will reappears in it, effectively swapping their places (remember that we've been dealing with the mistaken identity trope between these two), and leaving the question of mike's romantic security glaringly unresolved.

and we know why - this is a five act narrative we're watching - but just within the context of the season one arc... the climactic moment of mike finally asking the girl to be his sister kissing the girl was preceded by her locating will in the upside down (leading to his rescue) and followed by a resolution in which she disappeared... and will took her place. at the end of the season, mike is left in the same place he started: playing games in his basement with will, his first attempt to resolve his arc of romantic insecurity, with el, ultimately ending in tragedy.

after season one, this arc picks up again, but this time will is the one present in mike's life. and mike's behaviors toward el in season one, during which they were undergoing a romantic story arc, begin showing up again in his behavior toward will. but unlike with el, mike's particular (read: romantic) behavior toward will happens without outside intervention, and in fact, often in spite of outside intervention. now, this isn't to say that all of mike's behavior with el was a result of others' influence. when el reveals to mike that she is on the run from "bad people," mike is immediately protective and caring toward her. however, as i've already explained, this caring behavior (which, again, we know right off the bat is not romantic because it directly mirrors the way both benny and hopper care for her) doesn't turn into romantic behavior until lucas introduces that idea.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, right from episode one of season one, mike's behavior toward will is fully self motivated, even in the face of opposition.

and as we move through season one and beyond, we can see that mike continues to rely on constant guidance in the way he cares about el (particularly and most consistently from lucas).

stranger things is, at it's horror filled core, a coming of age tale. like many of our other characters, mike's full character arc, romantic and otherwise, is about self-actualization. from the very conception of the show, his insecurity is presented as a central character flaw to overcome, while also being directly linked with his romantic fulfillment. the overcoming of this fatal flaw, the resolution of his romantic arc, and his final achievement of self-actualization are all inextricably intertwined.

the reprisal of this specific expression of romantic hope as we enter the end of mike's romantic arc is not an indication that mike is in the same place emotionally at the end of season four as he was at the beginning of season one, just with a different person now. instead, it is an indication of his romantic arc coming full circle. mike began in a position of hope for his romantic future with el, only to have the actualization of that hope (their romantic relationship) gradually degrade his romantic fulfillment and self-esteem. the longer mike and el are together, and the more serious their romantic relationship becomes, the worse mike's insecurities become. this is, i would argue, directly related to the fact that mike's pursuit of a romantic relationship with el is not due to his own genuine desire, but instead a combined result of heteronormativity (lucas assuming mike's feelings for el to be romantic), compulsive heterosexuality (mike's subsequent assumption that his feelings for el must be romantic), forced conformity (mike's attempt to resolve his insecurities firmly within these heteronormative boundaries, under the assumption that a rejection of these boundaries is unacceptable), and the trope of mistaken identity that has been following will and el since season one.

and of course i don't know with any concrete certainty what season five will contain, but based on the narrative so far, and optimistically expecting a satisfying resolution to his character arc, the actualization of his romantic hope regarding will is going to lead to true romantic fulfillment and coincide with his self-actualization (a big part of which is coming to terms with his sexuality).

now, i'm not going to conclude this whole analysis by saying, "and that's why mike is gay!" because while i think this all is a good indication of that, based on all of the context and my impression that this narrative is being presented in a way that focuses on the subtext and deeper symbolism of each of these relationships rather than being a case of specifically el vs. will, you might still have a different interpretation than me. that's fine. however, i am going to end by insisting (me when i argue with the wall), based on everything i've laid out, that this parallel and others like it (ie parallels between byler & miIeven's romantic arcs) are not evidence of mike's feelings, specifically whether they are genuinely romantic or not. this parallel serves as a narrative device in his romantic character arc... the conclusion of which is mike realizing and coming to terms with the fact that he is actually in love with will, and not el.

just to be very clear, i'm not saying these parallels alone are proof against mike being bisexual, but i am saying that they are not evidence in support of his being bisexual. again: they do not indicate that mike is romantically attracted to el. what they indicate is that will and el are foils in mike's romantic arc.

before i finish, i want to address a couple misconceptions:

1. the fact that mike actively and willingly participates in a romantic relationship with a woman means he can’t be gay. this is straight up homophobia. gold star bullshit. no.

2. mike and el being presented in a romantic light means that they have genuine romantic feelings for each other. this is a misconception of the way narrative tools are used to tell a story. going right back to my first point: it is an irrefutable fact that many gay people have romantic relationships with the people of different genders (read “the opposite sex”) before they come out/realize their true sexuality. it is also a fact that many of these gay people fully believe their feelings to be genuinely romantic before realizing that they are not. as i've already gone over, mike is twelve years old when his romantic arc begins. on the surface, his relationship with el is presented as romantic. he participates in (and even initiates) romantic behaviors because he believes that his feelings for el are romantic. in seasons one and two, mike is one of our main POV characters. we can see a romantic tilt to the way some of their scenes are shot because, to mike, while they are happening, they are romantic (keeping in mind what i said before about mike having no experience and therefore no personal knowledge informing his perspective, AND keeping in mind that many of these on-the-surface "romantic" scenes are also consistently subtextually linked (read: paralleled) to familial relationships for both of them... and i haven't even touched the cultural context surrounding homosexuality in 80's. there's so much nuance informing the way this story is being told). and we, as the audience, are supposed to read them as romantic on first viewing, because otherwise the season five plot twist, revealing the truth of mike's feelings, would not work.

it is not a coincidence that the active degradation of their romantic relationship (outside of all of the other context, parallels, symbolism, family coding, etc, that are there to hint along the way that things are not as they might seem) begins full force in season three, at the exact point when the two actually enter a real relationship for the first time, and also when our characters are entering puberty, the time during which a person's sexuality (in a general sense, but also in regard to sexual orientation) begins to fully emerge. after his season one arc with el, mike underwent another season-long romantic arc: this time, with will. it's more subtle, because (i believe) mike doesn't realize yet that it's romantic, but it's there. then at the end of season two, mike makes a choice: he encourages will to dance with a girl and he dances with el, re-writing their tragic ending from season one, but now leaving his romantic arc with will frustratingly unresolved, again mirroring the sense of unresolution from season one: mike has swapped out the end of each romantic arc with the wrong love interest.

and then in season three, now having had the experience of both romantic arcs, and now, for the first time, with both will and el right there beside him, all we can see anymore is the overt contrast between the two relationships, depicted most blatantly through the same type of visual and narrative "parallel" we've been looking at here.

but at the end of this season, instead of making a choice, mike's choice is made for him. he has a romantic moment with will, and then el kisses him, confusing the resolution of these two romantic arcs once again.

mike's season four arc closely mirrors his season one arc (searching for one love interest with the other by his side, mistaken identity trope abound), but with important distinctions: 1. mike is a little older, a lot more experienced, and has a better understanding of both the context of romantic relationships and the scope of his feelings for both el and will. and 2. mike's only real guidance in season four comes from will, and he doesn't simply listen and act based on will's advice, as he did with lucas' in seasons 1&3. now, he fully engages with will's input, pushing back against it when he doesn't agree, and accepting it when he can acknowledge its truth (up until, of course, our fourth (and hopefully final) tragic, incorrectly resolved ending). mike is finally taking control of his romantic narrative in a way he hasn't previously, and the direction it's heading in now is toward security, self-actualization, and will.

so the point of all of this is: nothing is as simple or straightforward as it may seem on the surface. the narrative has always been deeply complex and layered with subtext and symbolism. and most of all, when interpreting the meaning of anything presented directly to us on screen, context matters.

also uh. yeah, mike gay

#byler #mikesbasementbeets posts #parallels are there to be noticed. but that should be where the analysis begins. not where it ends.#this got kinda long i just wanted to be really thorough bc this kind of 'parallel = 1:1 similarity' thinking is way too prevalent #this is less an analysis and more me explaining the plot of the show but. sometimes it feels like it needs to be explained lmao #yes i lied about the ending but when you eliminate the only claim negating that conclusion....#that's. i mean that's the conclusion.#(btw the difference between comparative and experimental investigations is that in an experiment one of the variables is fixed.#something to think about)#mike wheeler

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longtallglasses · 8 months

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“I’m gay,” he blurts out suddenly, because if this is how his life is going and he’s gonna die in the next 12 hours he at least needs to let Mike know that.

“What?!” Mike whips around so hard he almost loses all balance and falls to the ground. He catches himself thankfully right before he does.

“I’m gay,” Will says again when Mike is in front of him. Mike’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open just a bit. Will doesn’t feel any emotion to his confession at all, it’s not news to him obviously, but whenever he imagined finally telling this to Mike he thought it would feel so dramatic. That it would feel like he was ripping open a part of himself, but given everything it feels like he’s just letting Mike know what his star sign is.

Mike however looks like he’s gonna have an aneurysm. He’s short circuited. He’s dumbfounded. Will is honestly a little surprised this is so shocking to him like did he never even consider-

“Uh-.. uh I know.” Mike stumbles on his words like bambi.

Wait what?

“What do you mean you know?”

“Uh, that I know… I know you’re- you’re gay.” Mike stammers out like he’s never said the word in his life.

“Did Lucas tell you?” Will accuses. He doesn’t want to think about the state that Lucas must be in but if he told Mike anything…

“No! Wait, Lucas knows?”

“Yeah, I told him. How do you know?”

“Well, I..” Mike struggles, “I just assumed… No! Not that I assumed, I just inferred.” Mike rubs a hand over his face, “Well, you know, I figured it out, kind of… like I just realized you didn’t really like girls, which is okay! I mean I get it girls are whatever… but then you know how obsessed you were with George Michael… well I just put two and two together and-”

“Ok, Ok,” Will stops him there, “how long have you known then?”

“I don’t know.. Um, like since last year?”

Will lets out an internal sigh of relief. Ok, he can work with that. He would’ve thought it was earlier given when Mike had started to stand farther and farther away from him, this trip excluded for obvious reasons.

“And you’re cool with it?” I mean he has to be at least pretty cool with it if he’s with him here right now.

“Of course! Of course I’m cool with it, I lo- I- I, you’re- you’re perfect.” Mike settles on and Will sees the look of strained cringe Mike just can’t disguise, and he can’t help but laugh at how utterly ridiculous and pathetic his best friend is.

Mike chuckles at himself too. Sheepishly running a hand through his hair. “Sorry, you know what I mean..”

Will forces himself to not laugh in his face any longer, at least they can still do this. He might be dying soon and a ghost of a witch might be after them and their friends, but this can still feel nice.

“Yeah I do, it’s okay. You’re perfect too.” He still blushes as he says it even if it's supposed to be half a joke. The huge megawatt smile that blooms across Mike’s face after he says it is pretty worth it though.

Mike tries to tamper it down by looking away and clearing his throat, but he’s not too successful, so Will helps him out.

“Let’s, uh, let’s get this stuff up,” he says to break the moment, and Mike is happy to spring to action to not talk about this anymore.

from my blair witch project wip mostly spoiler free lol things are getting spooky but you gotta come out to your crush before you die...

#byler #byler fanfic #bylerween2023 #mike wheeler #will byers #blair witch project #stranger things #writing #longtallglasses #my blair witch

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ataliagold · 9 hours

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Keep Me Afloat

For @astrangersummer week 8 prompt 'ocean waves.' Title from Passenger by Noah Kahan.

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Rating: G

W/C: 1723

Tags: post-Vecna, established Steddie, Steve is self-conscious about his scars, Eddie loves every part of him, minor angst, emotional hurt/comfort.

Summary: Standing in ankle-deep water watching his friends enjoy a summer beach day, Steve looks down at himself and hates what he sees.

___

“You ok?” Robin murmured to him, hand on the small of Steve’s back, on the one small spot of skin unmarred by the now mostly-healed grazes on his back.

“Mmm hmm,” Steve said through tight lips, arms curled over his stomach.

Robin looked at him, eyes falling to where his hands were folded against his sides, against the extensive scarring there. “The kids don’t care, you know,” she said quietly.

Steve scoffed, something bitter and sad. “Yeah. I do, though.”

Ahead of them, the kids were shrieking in chest-deep water, Mike yelling as Lucas dunked him under a wave, Dustin pointing and laughing until he received the same treatment, resurfacing with an angry splutter and splashing water at Lucas.

Max and El were on the shore, Max’s chair parked up on a flat bit of sand, El content to sit beside her and watch their friends’ antics.

Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle were wandering to the other end of the beach, scouting out the possibility of an ice-cream stand down there.

None of them were even looking at Steve, at the state of the ugly scars across his skin, but it didn’t matter.

Steve was aware enough of them for everyone.

Robin dragged her foot through ankle-deep water. “It’s warm,” she commented, tone light. “Do you want to go in?”

He did.

He’d love to swim out past the kids, let his feet lift off the sand, allow the water to carry him out deep until he could just float under the warm sun and not think about anything for a while.

But he didn’t think he could.

Even now, with the water gently pulling at his toes, sucking at the sand below his feet, his heart rate was picking up.

Try as he might, he couldn’t help but think back to Lover’s Lake, to freezing water rushing into his lungs, to the slimy grip on his ankle that had pulled him down to hell.

Swallowing thickly, he shook his head.

Robin nodded, small and sad. “Eddie’ll be here soon,” she said, trying to cheer him up.

Steve managed a small smile at that. Of course Eddie had overslept for their beach day, leading to a rehash of their plans when Dustin had rung Steve complaining that Eddie hadn’t picked him up as planned.

He was arriving now, though – Steve heard the whine of his van coming to a slammed halt in the parking lot even from where he was standing in the shallows.

Eddie tumbled out, towel in hand, and grinned when he caught sight of Steve, raising his hand in greeting.

Steve smiled softly, a wave of fondness rushing over him.

Robin shook her head, rolling her eyes, but she was smiling too. “Here’s your knight in shining armour.”

Eddie tore his shirt off on his way to the water, balling it up and tossing it at Max who responded by grabbing the towel in her lap and snapping it against his ass. Shrieking, Eddie swore, clutching his butt with one hand as he ran the rest of the way over the hot sand.

Eddie wore his scars unashamedly.

They were in full view for everyone to see – the skin on his sides and torso left puckered and twisted, tattoos warped and some unrecognizable where flesh had been stripped. They were worse than Steve’s – the bats had bitten deeper, had had far longer to chow down on him than they had Steve.

But Eddie bared himself easily, confidently, and Steve burned with jealousy.

He’d asked Eddie, once, on a particular night curled up together on the couch when Steve had been feeling small. How he did it, how he didn’t care if people stared, how he wasn’t so…self-conscious.

Eddie had looked down at him through heavy lashes, had brushed his fingertips over Steve’s t shirt above the scarring on his back. “People have always stared at me, Stevie,” he murmured eventually. “Because of my clothes, my hair, because I play D&D, because I’m too loud or too…weird, or because I’m the Devil, I’m a murderer, whatever it is people think…I’ve been stared at and looked down on my whole life, I learnt to stop giving a shit what other people thought a long time ago.”

Steve had tried, he really had. Tried to be more like Eddie, tried to not worry about what other people thought of his appearance. But truthfully…his appearance had always been important to him. He was supposed to be strong, fit, athletic…the King of Hawkins High, once.

Not this pale, gaunt, chewed up and spat-out version of himself.

Eddie reached him with a loud splash, showering cool droplets across Steve’s thighs and stomach. He shivered lightly.

“Sorry,” Eddie panted, “got here as quick as I could. That little shrimp complain much?” he gestured ahead to Dustin.

“Only the whole way here,” Robin replied. “You’re lucky Nance had room in her car for him too.”

Eddie turned his gaze to Steve, smile quickly fading, replaced by a frown. “Stevie, you ok?” he asked gently, squeezing his upper arm.

“I’m gonna go check on the girls,” Robin said, making a strategic exit back towards Max and El, leaving Eddie and Steve alone in the water lapping at their feet.

“Hey, what is it?” Eddie breathed, stepping closer, trying to catch Steve’s eye.

But Steve kept his gaze fixed on the tiny waves, watching them break and recede again. “I’m fine. Just…you know.” He gestured down at himself, then quickly folded his arms back across his stomach.

“Stevie…” Eddie murmured, hands coming to rest on Steve’s arms, not pulling them away but just holding. “You’re with friends here, ok? No one minds, no one’s looking. Well, except me, because you’re my boyfriend and you’re hot as hell and I never want to not be looking at you, but…”

One side of Steve’s mouth quirked up in a smile.

“Here.” Eddie coaxed one of Steve’s hands into his own, tugged him gently towards deeper water. “Come with me, sweetheart.”

Steve followed him, because he’d follow Eddie anywhere.

He sucked in a breath as the water climbed higher, over the top of his waistband, up to his chest.

“Eds,” he said eventually, breath coming faster as the water approached his shoulders. “S’deep enough.”

Eddie stopped, turning to face him, hair falling wetly around his neck. Despite Steve’s half-hearted protest because what if someone saw, Eddie pulled Steve to him, hands resting under the water on his hips, cold thumbs rubbing circles across the scars there. Although he was nervous at being in the deeper water, Steve was a little relieved to be out here, where the water covered his scars completely.

“You’re beautiful,” Eddie whispered to him.

“Eds…” Steve started, looking away.

“No.” Eddie brought one hand to his chin, keeping Steve’s gaze on him. “You are. I know you don’t like your scars, shit, I don’t like my own either. But they’re a part of us now, ok? And you know what?”

Steve didn’t say anything for a moment, but Eddie waited, eyes wide and earnest until Steve muttered,

“What?”

“They mean we survived. We took everything that fucking place could throw at us, and we made it out, and those kids -” Eddie pointed across the water to the boys playing in the waves. “ – they’re alive because of you.”

“And you,” Steve murmured.

“Sure. And me. And I know it’s gonna take some time, Stevie, but please don’t think you need to hide around us. Your scars are part of you, and everyone here loves you.”

Steve took a shaky breath, hand grasping for Eddie’s under the water, holding it tight. “They’re so…they’re so ugly, Eds,” he whispered, looking down at himself.

“Steve,” Eddie said, with a ghost of a smile, “you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Scars and all, sweetheart, so please don’t say that.”

Steve floundered a little for something to say, feeling vulnerable under Eddie’s steady gaze.

“Do you think my scars are ugly?” Eddie tried.

Steve shook his head quickly. “No.” Because they weren’t, not to Steve. Eddie was badass, he’d gone through hell and been on death’s door for way too long and gone through a grueling recovery and Steve had kissed every one of his scars, he’d never dream of calling them ugly. They were Eddie.

“What do you see when you look at me?”

Steve frowned. “What do you mean?”

Eddie leaned in closer, forehead almost brushing against Steve’s. “When you see my scars, what do you think?”

“I think…I think they’re just…part of you, I love you, they don’t…they don’t matter to me,” Steve stammered, a wave of emotion rising up in his throat because he knew what Eddie was doing. “I don’t care how they look, and I love that you can be so confident about them, but I…I can’t do that. With my own. Not yet, anyway.”

Eddie’s brows knitted together. “Try, for me? Just for today. Try and see yourself how you see me.”

Steve nodded slowly. “I…I’ll try.”

Eddie’s smile was reward enough.

Later, Steve lay on the beach bracketed by Eddie and Robin, stretched out under the sun while the kids exhausted themselves in the waves. He’d still tense up whenever someone else walked past him on the sand, still automatically go to throw an arm across his stomach, but that was ok. It was a start, and just the fact that he was lying there with his shirt still off was progress.

Eddie squeezed his hand whenever he could, fed him with small smiles and soft glances, while Robin kept up a steady stream of chatter that helped distract him.

By the time an ice cream run had been completed, by the time Lucas had talked some other beach-goers into borrowing their volleyball net, Steve was feeling…ok. Not his old self, not by a long shot, but it was getting gradually easier to forget about his scars for a short time and just enjoy himself.

And when he leapt into the air to slap the ball back over the net to Lucas, when he turned to see Eddie’s hot and heavy gaze locked on him, Steve even managed a small smirk in his direction.

He’d get there, he thought. Day by day. And Eddie would be there with him every step of the way.

___

#a stranger summer #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things

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sparrow-ceiling · 5 months

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OK SO CAN WE TALK ABOUT CHARLIE'S WEAPONS AND HER FINAL BATTLE DESIGN

ik i already made a whole post abt everyone's final battle designs (if you want to see it check under my hazbinposting tag, its literally just me gushing), BUT I wanted to make a new one for Charlie because UGH

OK. So her costume stays fairly the same throughout the battle, the cute little dress with the heart on the front, which is so real of her. I mentioned this in the other post also but I thought it was really cute how Charlie usually wears pants, and Vaggie usually wears a skirt, but it switches for the battle. Idk if that has any like. Metaphorical meaning but i think it's cute.

For the weapons, we start out the battle and we see Charlie with her shield. Which yes is a very Charlie thing to have: she's a very protective character, all she wants to do is keep her people safe.

But if you LOOK AT THE shield. GOD, look at the shield. First of all, it's so pretty. Everything in this show is so aesthetically pleasing guys. BUT. There are literally FOUR visual motifs on this shield, plus colors (which are mostly just the normal color palette, but also relate to her and her father). SHIELD MOTIFS. It has (1), the wings. She's angelic & she's powerful (since Angels are kind of a symbol of power and heirarchy.) She has angelic blood from her dad, it doesn't seem like she has actual wings, but she definitely does hav the power that is associated with those wings. The wings also might be a nod to Vaggie's wings.

The shield also (2), looks like an apple. It has the little leaf in the back, and the core in the middle. Lucifer DEFINITELY also has a lot of apple imagery, so that's something she gets from her dad, to, another nod to where her power comes from. We also have (3), the snake. This might be a bit of a stretch but I'm pretty sure that part around the core of the apple that goes down into a point is a snake, which is also associated with Lucifer. Most of the motifs on the shield are a nod to her dad, to her power and where she gets it from. Also beyond physical power, she gets emotional power from her dad. She looks up to him, idolizes him, and she gets confidence from her connection with him.

The fourth and probably-not-final thing that the sheild has is its shape. This was honestly the fist thing I noticed about the shield, and you can really see it well in the above image: the shield is in the shape of a heart. As a Stranger Things fan, of course I am partial to heart shields. Just like Mike, Charlie is the heart of her party. She's the strength, she's where the love and the joy and the connection comes from. Sir Pentious, for example, only gets heart motifs in his design once he gets his heaven redesign, but Charlie has heart motifs in her design from the minute she steps on the battlefield. Look at her dress. That heart, that love, is a part of her. Love is so intrinsic to her personality and to her character that she can defy hell which honestly. She's so real for that (Also can we talk about how she looks at Vaggie in these pictures. I would die for her.)

So Charlie's heart/wings/apple/snake shield is not only a show of power because of her connection with Lucifer (with snake and apple) and her angelic blood (with the wings), but it's also an expression of her personality (with the heart and the fact that it is a shield in the first place). Her character development kind of comes to a peak here: she's learned to be confident in herself while still being that kind, loving, wonderful, dreamy Charlie, and the shield emphasizes that so well.

BUT WAIT. This isn't just a Charlie's-shield-appreciation-post (although it could be.) She literally gets THREE outfits in one episode (standard, the one with the shield, and the post-magical-girl-transformation one)

After Pentious dies and she tranforms, her appearance and her weapon change. Her physical changes are her horns, the inverted, glowing eyes, the tail (with the little heart on it!!), and her hair coming untied (so magical girl of her, but also look at the shape language! She becomes angrier more violent, and instead of that typical, soft, round bubble ponytail, her let-down hair is full of angles, especially in the picture below). We've seen her demon form a couple of times previously in the series I believe, and it happens when she experiences severe emotion and/or wants to show her power, both of which are happening right now (Honestly I love how it shows how much she loves Pentious. She's so sweet and I love her. He means so much to her.) HOWEVER, her physical appareance isn't the only thing that changes after her magical girl transformation. She also has (surprise, surprise), a new weapon!!!!

The trident doesn't have as many strong motifs in it as the shield did, but it's still fuckin. Crazy. So first and second of all we have the apple and the snake, which repeat from the shield, and still represent Charlie's power that she gets from her dad. The third thing about the trident is color scheme: The shield was red, gold, and white, will the trident introduces another color to the mix: black. I dunno what to say about this, but it's interesting to note. Something something her emotions get darker? There's probably a way to read into it but idk. lmk if anyone has thoughts on it.

Although there is the addition of the heart on Charlie's tail, this stage of her design also loses the heart on her weapon. Similar to the addition of black, this probably represents the darker turn in her design and emotion, and the darker turn in the battle. She's not completely out for love (haha see what I did there) anymore, she's also out for revenge (as an extension of love, but what she's really feeling and fighting from right now is anger, as opposed to the joy/hope/love from the start of the battle).

Anyway, the fifth and final thing about the trident is that it's no longer a defense weapon, like the shield was, it's now an attack weapon (also a very similar on to Vaggie's, which could be another nod to her). We also notice this in her demeanor! As opposed to the repeated sorries from before her tranformation, Charlie is now unapologetically violent. She charges right into the battle with Adam. She's no longer just trying to defend to protect (shield) her people, now she's going with the whole best-defense-is-a-good-offense ideology. She's on the offense in order to protect her people.

That's why I enjoy Charlie's character design and weapons in this episode so much. There are so many layers to it and UGH. THANK YOU for listening to me ramble, and lmk if you have any more thoughts on this because I would LOVE to hear them! As you can see I am totally normal about this show.

#hazbinposting #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #oh my god

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alchemicaladarna · 10 months

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Just to clarify, I am obviously talking about the characters and the QSMP as a story. I am simply an avid viewer that had too much coffee and time on their hands so I basically wrote an essay. What is it about? I have no idea. So, read it if you want, but beware that nothing at the end of this should make sense.

In my opinion, morally ambigious characters are interesting, but UNPREDICTABLE morally ambigious characters are even more fun to analyze because they take more risks and play more dangerous games. If a character was labeled as a "hero" and played on the "good" side they are guaranteed a safe spot within the group. Regardless of whether they kill or hurt others, they are on the good side because they are fighting against the corporation that is keeping them and their friends trapped in a place that is a nightmarish paradise. If they had done actions that worked against the islanders' favor, by, for example nearly getting everyone killed by explosives at a party they are justifiably labelled a villian. But what if a character played in the middle? What if they were neutral? What if they simply wanted to let things play out- sticking to the sidelines and only becoming involved when the situation benifits their entertainment?

So, pardon me for the long intro, but here's the gist folks: q!Foolish arrested q!Pac e q!Mike and unknowingly put them through loads of emotional trauma that I don't think they'll be recovering from any time soon, for fun. To a person with a normal moral compass, that's obviously fucked up.

"Friends don't send friends to prison."

In q!Foolish's perspective, he REALLY didn't think the consequences of his actions through, but he wouldn't have arrested q!Pac e q!Mike for no reason. Mr. Mustard is missing and the Federation told q!Foolish that q!Pac e q!Mike were responsible for his disappearance. At this point, I think enough time has passed that we the audience know q!Foolish is being manipulated by the Federation. Even Foolish himself knows he's being manipulated by them, yet he still partakes in this precarious game because it's simply more entertaining than just sitting on the good side and letting things play out.

Q!Foolish has never actively gone out of his way to hurt people on purpose. Does he lack some emotional maturity and the appropriate response to some situations? Yes he does; but he doesn't have malicious intentions. He's there to have fun. Where others see a dire situation- at the mercy of the inescapable claws of a malevolent corporate entity, q!Foolish sees fun and exciting opportunities. The others might not want to admit it, but aside from the tragedies and kidnappings that have occured on the island, this nightmarish paradise has provided the characters with more excitement and enjoyment, than what is worth.

But, not everyone understands q!Foolish's perspective, and that's good! That's ok! But what I'm perplexed about is their constant unjust treatment of him- the exclusion, threats, torture, many many pointless accusations disguised as interrogations, etc- simply because he did one task for the Federation. One task that affected the lives of two people, but in the end both parties communicated and forgave each other anyways. One task that required q!Foolish, and by extension, q!Jaiden to harmlessly investigate around q!Pac and q!Mike's base for a considerably long time before finding nothing that would incriminate the duo. Throughout q!Foolish's endeavour, working with the Federation cost him most of his friends' trust and gave him no benifits, but he still reluctantly chooses to carry out another task because it's entertaining. But like q!Foolish said to q!Cellbit the other day, he may be stupid, but he's certainly not an idiot, and he has limits. A lot of people, specifically q!Max don't seem to understand the concept of a neutral party. If you work for the Federation, you are a villain- and honestly, that's a fair assumption considering their reputation. But what about people like q!Jaiden? Q!Jaiden, one of the kindest people on the island, who is compassionate to everyone, even Cucurucho, who is always perceived as a malicious entity?

What exactly defines a villain in this story? In my opinion, everyone on the island has a skewed sense of morality. Everyone except Elquackity knew of his first assasination and simply watched as he lost his first life, then celebrated when he lost the other with no regards to the repurcussions of their actions or how Elq felt about all this. And while we can justify their actions because Elq hurt people before, and either brainwashed or replaced q!Quackity, how do we justify their treatment of q!Foolish even after he communicated honestly to q!Pac e q!Mike and done nothing to deserve their maltreatment of him. Maybe I'm a bit impatient, but at this point, q!Foolish's arrest, has had the same value and impact as q!Bad giving people the survey for the Federation; I'm even more willing to believe that q!Cellbit's accidental "employee of the month" investigations benifitted the Federation more than whatever measly and repititive tasks they're giving out to q!Foolish.

So, what warrants all this hate and injustice towards q!Foolish then if he's not harming anyone? Why is he the punching bag? Why is he the butt if the joke Every Single Time? What warranted all the cruel jokes and malicious beatings after the Nether event? Is it because they know he won't exact revenge upon them? Is it because, in their eyes, they only value him as a court jester and nothing more? Q!Foolish even said the Nether, an obsolete dimension of fire and brimstone, offered more compassion and comfort than a world where the sun shone and the air was less polluted because the inhabitants, his "friends" treated him with more malevolence than literal souless monsters from hell itself.

Think about q!Jaiden- a person whose compassion broke through Cucurucho's souless programming and gave it a home, a sense of safety, and relaxation. Jaiden works (and apparently worked???) with the Federation, yet she has more kindness within her than an entire group of people, on the "good" side, fighting against evil.

The truth is, there is no bad side among the islanders. The admins (meta) wrote the Federation (and codes?) as entities that the collective group should be against- a common enemy. But once you "ally" yourself with the Federation and do tasks for them does that make you the common enemy as well, or do you need to commit more heinious acts to be considered a villain?

And what about the islanders? At what point do the rest of the players begin to consider a character on the wrong side of things? At what point do they begin to abandon compassion in favor of searching for the truth? How far will they go in pursuit of the truth?

In my opinion, there are no villains in the story because everyone is capable of becoming an antagonist in one way or another. Basically, EVERYONE is morally ambiqious because they have all been antagonists to each other at some point in the tale, and as the story keeps unfolding, who knows what could happen? A character might say they are a good person, but as the story changes, so do their values, their morals, their limits. How thin can someone's patience be before it inevitably snaps?

#qsmp #qsmp analysis #qsmp character analysis #qsmp thoughts #qsmp foolish #qsmp jaiden #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp pac #qsmp mike #qsmp bbh #qsmp max #qsmp cellbit #me: writes an essay to justify the chaotic neutrality of Foolish's character Also me: realizes that by justifying chaotic neutrality #im completely missing the point of being chaotic and neutral #also also me: writes it anyway and confuses myself in the process

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rustboxstarr · 9 months

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🏖Grown Ups🏖 part 2

Summary: You've been pulling away from Eddie recently its not until summer vacation that you finally find your way back to him.

Pairings: Dad!Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Mom!Reader

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst. Swearing, use of Y/N, kinda hints that reader is tall, and not blonde but if that aint u just ignore it haha, Steve once again being an insightful mama hen, accidental hurting animals (the bird scene), slightly persuasive of venturing out of comfort zone (friend to reader) but its all in good nature, age gap one sided flirting, accusations of cheating, talk of depression, oral m receiving, soft dom!Reader, mention of blood, sexy photos, talks of masturbation, P in V, sexual powerplay, mean degrading, blood, slapping, angry makeup sex for deep set feelings after a long time, smoking, R comes from abusive home, crying, bad views on emotions from R, talk of death, loosing a parent, homelessness, allusion to deadly overdose.

Wordcount: 22 k

A/N: Holy hell this took some time, life has just been beating the crap out of me lately but thank you all so much for all the support and love and patience, it means so much to me ❤️

Eddie is not a dick ok, he doesn’t only think about sex all the time, he just comes off as one because its smut hahahaha.

Lets just ignore the fact that big girls chafe haha.

Eddies tall now because I said so, sorry not sorry, he's like 2 cm taller than me, sue me for having a preference.

Love yas!

Part 1

Drawings I made for the fic for some visuals 😊

Grown Ups masterlist

Check out my other works!

Max (35), Lukas (35) - twins Eric (6) and Billy (6)

El (35), Mike (35) - no kids

Dustin (35), Suzie (35) - Willow (11 months)

Eddie (41), You (40) - Ophelia (10) and Roxette (7)

Gareth (37) - single, no kids

Luke -unnamed freak (39), Simone (38) - Tom (5) and Oliver (3) - not that it matters but Simone is african american so the kids are mixed incase it might be nice to visualise

Jeff (37), Tracy (45) - Ariana (16) (Tracy's daughter)

Will (35), Winter (33) - no kids

Steve (40), Nancy (39) - Mercy (11), Lousie (9), Rachel (7), Marcus(5), Bianca (3) and Dustin (2)

Jonathan (39), Charlotte (41) - Emma (6), Charlie (4) and Lilly (2)

Robin(39), Vickie(39) - no kids

Argyle (40), Eden (38) - no kids

Holly (26)- no kids

-----------------------

The sun was blaring down on the two men as Steve hovered behind Eddie going through the motions of checking the vital parts of the engine to the Harrington-Wheeler Chrysler minivan.

Sweat beads threatened to drip down Eddies forehead under his damp bangs, his hair tied back in a low bun as he bent over the hood, grime building up under his nails and staining his fingers as he picked and pulled at parts, finally he stood up, cracking his back, only prolonging the inevitable as Steve watched him expectantly.

“Your oxygen sensor is malfunctioning” he wiped his hands off on his trunks, making a mental note to wash them later, “And that means?...” Steve crossed his arms and leant forward to inspect the different mechanics he had no idea about “The engine computer won't be able to correctly set the air to fuel ratio, which means lower fuel economy, higher emissions and a high probability of damage to other components, such as an overheating the catalytic converter” Eddie stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his professional vocabulary shining through “Jesus dude english” Steve groaned, all the unfamiliar words working up some anxiety in his chest, worrying he would have to trade in a new car which would undoubtedly cost them a lot just when they'd gotten settled and comfortable with the economy.

“You're gonna have to get it replaced” Steve relaxed but only a little bit “but you're not taking this hunk of junk out on the road” just as Steve was about to complain about how they needed the car to get back home a rusty Chevrolet Chevette whizzed over the gravel, screeching as it came to a stop, haphazardly parking squint between two cars, cutting off his train of thought as he mimicked Eddies reaction of wincing at the loud noise.

The formerly cherry red now prominently rust door opened and a short blonde figure in a low-cut, cropped, baby pink tanktop and daisy dukes emerged with a wide grin on her face “Holly!” Eddie greeted as he turned to face Nancy and Mike's younger sister who he hadn't seen in nearly 10 years “Hiiii!” she waved happily as she closed the door and walked over to the pair “Lovely to see you” Steve let his arms fall to his sides as Eddie closed the hood to the car “You too Steve. So what you two up to?”

Her arms crossed at the wrist as she played with her bracelet, looking up at Eddie with wide doe eyes “Just checking out Steves tin can” Eddie chuckled as he did a quick scan of the girl in front of him before meeting her eyes, a smirk tugged at her lips as she made a subtle show of pushing her breasts together further with her crossed hands. Steve frowned behind Eddie's back as Holly continued her pleasantries “Oh that's right you’re a mechanic, real man's job” she gave a sultry smirk as it was Eddie's turn to frown slightly in confusion, “What do you do again Steve?” Steve cleared his throat and stood up straight “Uh I’m an accountant” for some reason Holly's comment made him suddenly insecure about his job. He felt the need to puff out his chest to stand up for himself in some strange way. Holly only hummed in response, “Uh Mikes over there and I think Nancy's inside” Eddie pointed towards the beach. Holly gave a wide smirk and walked off with a wave of her slim fingers.

Eddie cleared his throat “Uh ok anyway, yeah you can't take the car out on the road but I can pop by an auto shop and pick up the parts, saves you a fortune of doing it here” they both began strolling over to the beach again as they went over the costs for the parts.

Your eyes drifted from looking out over the lake with the squealing kids and laughing adults to see Holly make her way over to the group of what you all still considered to be the kids, namely, Dustin, Suzie, Max, El, Mike and Lucas scattered on towels soaking up the sun. Gareth sat beside you deep in a monologue about some car he was working on, if you were completely honest you weren't really listening, simply content in being in the sun during summer, away from work and enjoying time with your kids and Eddie, still on a high from being reconnected with him.

You were pulled out of your peaceful bliss when you felt a tug on your hair, turning around to be met by the man himself, your husband, who smacked a kiss to your forehead, further lightening your mood as Dustin clapped his hands together. “So, who’s coming on the hike? There's a tree swing which I think the kids would like, goes over the water” he grinned as he looked around.

Soon enough Luke and his eldest Tom, Dustin with his Willow, Steve and Nancy with Mercy, Louise and Rachel as well as Robin, and you and your little family -save for Roxette who was left in Ariana's room as they gossiped about the music industry- were gathered outside the cabin as Dustin pushed off, leading the group behind him. “Knew you'd wear the shorts” Eddie breathed in your left ear as you watched Ophelia run off to chatter happily with Steve's girls.

You giggled as you felt a strong large hand squeeze at your right asscheek, “They're are the only ones I had, seeing as someone thought my cargos were their cargos and switched them out for their own denim ones” you pulled at the black denim fabric on his thigh as evidence to your point “Maybe I did it on purpose” he grinned as he slipped around to walk next to your left, slipping his fingers between yours to hold your hand. “I would hope so, I still have hope for your fried ass brain, be nice to know its not too far gone that you can't tell the difference between an article of clothing twice the size of yours” you grinned up at him, gum peeking through at the front where it threatened to fall out from the loose bite around it.

“How dare you? I was like the smartest person in our grade” he grinned wickedly at his joke as he slipped back behind you to walk on the narrow path through the woods, switching to his left hand to hold yours without being in an awkward twist. “First of all, that would be me, I mean hello? Trailer trash, near drop out and community college degree” you flashed a grin towards him before staring intently at your feet to make sure you wouldn't trip “But sure, they held you back three years to make sure you held up the average 4.2 GPA” he squeezed your hip at your cheek causing you to giggle again.

“Y/N can we talk?” Nancy rushed over once the path opened up again, leaving Steve behind you both as she looked between you and Eddie. “Sure” you grinned knowingly and let your hand slip from Eddies.

“What you think they're talking about?” Eddie asked as he watched Robin hold back to join the two of you, abandoning her conversation with a bunch of the kids. “What do you think, dumbass?” Steve snorted as he witnessed Robin jumping up and down excitedly “Why does everyone have to know what's going on all the time?” Eddie rolled his eyes “In her defence, you've been scheming with us on how to get her into bed, but I will admit she and Nancy have been talking about it for a while”

“What?”

“Well I mean Nancy gives hints, she keeps talking my ear off about girl code and how she swore she wouldn't tell anyone”

“I’m sorry, are you that interested in my sex life?” he gestured towards Steve's obvious distaste for the aforementioned ‘girl code’.

“No, but I can't be the only one who enjoys listening to my wife's gossip”

“Ok true, but wait why would she talk to Nancy about this and not me? I’m the husband, and like the actual person who it concerns!” he threw his hands out in annoyed defeat as Steve shrugged. “Don’t forget, Robin too, but she really won't tell me shit” Eddie sent him a glare at his remark. “Girl talk? Guess she just feels more comfortable talking about it with another girl. I mean, do you tell her everything?”

“Yes” Eddie deadpanned after drawing his eyes away from your giggling “Oof, eh well maybe like, establish some… rules? I don't know, just like make her aware you're willing to listen”

“Why do you know all of this? Weren't you like super unpopular with the ladies after the breakup senior year?”

“First of all, I’m smart and I communicate with my wife” he gave a knowing glare at Eddie, as if to tell him something you should be doing more “And secondly, so were you, she's like the only one you've been with”

“Didn't have to be popular, been with the same girl since I was 17” he grinned smugly.

“Hey Ophi, when we were kids your parents used to talk us into doing the craziest stuff” Dustin's voice was heard over the chatter of the group as he leant down to pass Willow over to your daughter for her to carry. “That's right” Eddie grinned a few metres away, “Yeah, I remember one time we, uh got our shower curtains, put ‘em in shopping carts and went shopping cart sailing” he stood up once he saw Ophelis was secure with his daughter and flashed a grin towards you.

Luke laughed as you shouted out a “Yeah!”, “Wait, how did you steer?” Tom piped up in confusion “Well we-we didn’t” he grinned towards his son “How’d you stop?” Louise turned, walking backwards to give her attention to Luke. “You just smashed into something” Eddie explained “That was the fun part” you piped up as Eddie found his place walking next to you again.

“We used to shoot bottle rockets at each other” Robin laughed “You always go for the guy’s face cuz’ you wanna blind him” she smirked as Mercy frowned, “Okay, no that's a little much pal” Steve patted her on the shoulder “No! No I know, kids, don't do that” she covered “You know what, erase, reboot” she waved her hands back and forth as she mimicked the sound of a cassette rewinding, Rachel and Ophelia laughing at her antics.

“Oh ho ho ho! The rope swing!” Dustin pointed as you all arrived at your destination “Oh rope on a tree baby! You know what that means” Luke inched towards the swing as Dustin held onto it excitedly. “We get to hang ourselves?” Mercy's bored voice sounded “Mercy” Steve scolded as Eddie interrupted “Are you kidding me? You see a rope and a lake and that doesnt wanna make you go nuts?” he pointed towards lake Michigan which you were now only further up the coastline of.

“It makes me wanna- you- you- you know what? Let me show ‘em, let me show ‘em” Luke stuttered excitedly as he shuffled down the cliff and towards Dustin. “Yeah baby” Dustin forced the rope over to Luke to grab onto “Dude, get on the top rock!” you shouted as he began to steady himself, multiple adults chiming in with yeah’s at your suggestion.

“Class is in session” Luke made a deep teacher's voice as he prepared to jump from the rock “Who wants to see a double flip!” he shouted as he ran off the edge of the rock, “Whee!” he exclaimed as everybody egged him on “Too high!”

“Now drop!”

“This was a mistake!”

“I can’t let go I’m to scared!” he shrieked as he turned back around on the rope, smashing right into a thick tree. He screamed guturally as he let go of the rope, doing a flip in the air and landing on the forest floor with a loud thump, he rolled over with the slope of the hill ramming right into a bush, rolling right over a high edge and thudding loudly onto the last bit of earthy floor before the shore of the lake.

The previous crowd shouting with sympathy pain silenced as he came to a stop. “That was awesome!” his son shouted excitedly, suddenly Luke popped up and into view, his face scrunched up in pain as he shrieked “Oh god! Oh god! My leg snapped!” he held onto his thigh as he shrieked, a grey and brown bone protruding from his skin, “Oh my god! The bone’s sticking out! I need help!” he continued as everyone began shrieking in horror.

“It's a stick! I got you!” he threw the supposed bone away with a clap of his hands, squirming his body in an attempt at a victory dance. Some sighed in relief as some laughed “AAHAHAHA that was good!” Dustin pointed at him as Steve, you, Eddie and Robin all laughed.

“Daddy that bird is hurt!” Rachel squealed as she pointed past Luke to something nestled between the leaves behind him. The bird flapped and chirped in strain as it attempted to rise from the ground, “Oh my god” Robin shimmied down the rock towards the bird “We’ll go get a shoebox when we get back” Nancy comforted her daughter as she clung to her leg, hiding her face.

Eddie too shimmied down towards Luke as Robin picked the bird up and placed it in a makeshift pillow which was her hoodie. Eddie reached a hand out to help him up as he asked “Hey, did you really land on that bird, man?” he watched as Luke stood up and dusted himself off “Um.. I’m not sure. I-I did hear a chirp and then a crunch-like noise, but.. That could have been anything” he shook his head dismissively as Eddie snorted “Okey”.

The group of hikers made their way back as all the kids flocked around Robin to get a look at the bird.

“After lunch I’m gonna head into town with Steve, need to get a part for the engine” Eddie caught up to you again and bent slightly down to speak to you, “Oh ok, us girls were talking about heading to that shopping mall outside of the town later” you pulled your shorts up and tugged your t-shirt down since both had adjusted after talking a large step over a fallen tree “Alright great, I’m sure the girls’ll be fine, I’ll ask Luke if he can keep an eye on them” he said as he fell behind you.

You and Eddie took it upon yourselves to cook lunch, near 10 bags of fresh pasta boiled in two large pots as Eddie heated up a hefty amount of tomato sauce. Once Robin had set out all the plates and cutlery she leaned over and whispered to Eddie “Geez, she’s really bossy” she referred to the multiple orders you had nearly shouted out and multiple warnings not to touch the food. “I heard that” you deadpanned as you stirred the pasta, Eddie only laughed “Don't worry, she’s a lot more bossy when we do other things too” he smirked, earning him a smack to the back of the head from you.

Soon enough everyone had eaten and 11 of you packed into two cars, save for Holly and Ariana who were getting to know each other in their now shared room. You with Nancy, Tracy, Simone, Charlotte, Suzie and Eden in Jonathan and Charlotte's minivan and El, Robin and Vickie, and Max in her car. The mall wasn't too big, mostly clothes shops but too many to all collectively decide on so you all split up.

A cute little independent shop was where your group was headed.

“Oh. My. God! Y/N this is perfect for you!” Charlotte squealed as she held up a dress from the maternity section where she had already found a collection of things to try on “What, maternity clothes?” you laughed as you walked over to her, so far all you'd found was a cute set of panties with a matching teddy which you had reasoned you may as well treat yourself too since it seemed you were becoming more comfortable with yourself again. “Yes a maternity dress but seriously you would look gorgeous in this” she passed over the black silky smooth t-shirt fabric flowing from a hanger. You held it up to look.

Sleeveless with a turtleneck and shapeless, something you usually shied away from as it made you look like you were wearing a garbage bag, but sliding the fabric through your hands you discovered it had slits up the side, decidedly high up on the sides, no doubt past your thighs.

“Babe this would look horrible on me” you sighed as you motioned it back to her, she didn't take it, instead she insisted “Girl this is going to look absolutely stunning on you, at least just try it on” she compromised. “Fine”

You picked up a few more things before you, Charlotte, Simone and Nancy went to try all of your chosen items on.

You most definitely felt the confidence boost as you put the dress on, hips and thighs half on display, the slits hem resting just above your hip, but as you looked in the mirror that confidence washed away. Hip dips, stretchmarks and cellulite were all on display, sure you loved your body and had no issue showing it, but on your own terms, this was definitely a dress for skinny curvy girls, and your point was proved further as you turned to the side. Plump round breasts which honestly yes they looked fucking good, but below that your stomach, devided by your bellybutton and forcing the fabric out. At least the dress wasn't skin tight, the fabric hung from the roundest part of your belly, the bottom, not sucking right back in to show the roundness of it but you weren't keen on the rolls showing.

“Is it on?” Charlotte squealed excitedly as she and the others sat on a pouffe outside, all done with their try-ons, “Yes” you sighed as you turned to look at your front again “Ooh show me, show me!” you sighed again as you hung your head, walking out to show the outfit. “Oh my god, that dress was like made for you” Simone commented as you walked out. “Yeah, Eddies going to love that” Nancy told you with wide eyes. “Babe, it looks amazing! You have to buy it!” she clapped as you made your way over to the full length mirror on the floor, twisting and turning.

“Really?” you asked anxiously as you examined the back, rolls on show and bra straps clearly digging into your fat. “Yes! Come on, it's only like $15!” you contemplated it, it wasn't much money, and you sure had spent more on clothing that you never wore “Eh what the hell?” you shrugged.

You visited a few more stores and were all sat excitedly talking about it as you made your way home. “You should wear that dress tonight” Charlotte piped up from the back as you drove her minivan. “It’s a restaurant with kids, it's not appropriate” you laughed as you pulled into the parking lot of the cabin, “So? We’ll all wear what we bought. We’ll all be inappropriate, Simone you shoulder wear that strappy mess you call lingerie” you all laughed at her response as you parked up.

She kept pestering you all the way out the car, getting the other girls to join in and agree on wearing their new outfits not lingerie which Simone stated clearly “Fine! Fine! I’ll wear it!” you laughed as you entered in the huddle “Wear what?” Eddie chuckled as he slid over to you, dropping a kiss to your lips and naturally grabbing the bags to let you slip your shoes off. “Just this dress Charlotte made me buy” Charlotte in question smirked all smug as she leaned in “You're gonna die when you see her in it” you felt on the spot as Eddie turned with a matching smirk as the pair looked at you “Oh am I?” you only rolled your eyes and grabbed the bags, ruffling Ophelia's hair as you made your way up to check on Roxette.

Thankfully the dress covered up all the hickies, was all you could think as you looked yourself in the mirror, you’d decided against the new lingerie as you riffled through your new things, you weren't 100% ready for it yet but that was ok, instead your worn your usual dark black t-shirt bra and an matching thong which had also been picked up today, only for the purpose of the dress, topping the outfit off with your old beat up converse.

Before leaving for the trip you'd packed some of your old jewellery which hadn't been worn in months, now you were thankful for it, it really pulled the outfit together. A beaded black bracelet with a star hanging from it, a black chain necklace with a ruby in the shape of a crystal tower upside down hanging low from your neck and a collection of different earrings in your various ear piercings. All matching your simple winged eyeliner, mascara and blood red lips.

“Mom, you look like a vampire!” Roxette squealed excitedly as she ran over to you at the bottom of the stairs, you laughed at her comment, pulling her greedy hands away from you as she grabbed onto the fabric. “You look really pretty mom” Ophelia smiled from her spot on the couch next to her dad who was now fully distracted from his conversation with Steve.

You could feel his eyes rake over your body painstakingly slow, drinking you up. He cleared his throat as he blinked, remembering that not only were a bunch of people around but his kids too “You look really beautiful” he breathed as his eyes found yours. “Thanks” you beamed as you followed Roxette who was dragging you over to the dining table. Surprisingly what mattered the most was the opinion of your daughters, and all insecurity was shunted away as they showered you in their own version of praise.

You felt comfortable within yourself as you sat down next to Argyle to see the comic he was telling Roxette about. Not feeling the pair of wide eyes staring at you from across the room as his daughter tugged on his arm. The only way to describe Eddie right now, was speechless. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what he was seeing. The thighs, the stomach, your tits so clearly visible from the side, round and plump. Snake tattoo framed by vines spread wide on your right thigh while a spider creeping out of a skull occupied your left. The girls initials on the back of your left arm, the flower with the eye further down, the dripping moon on your upper arm, and on your other the large spider web on your forearm, a spider resting in its creation, the dagger dripping blood above it next to the butterfly with the eye.

Eddie always liked to joke about your fascination with spiders and eyes but right now all he could do was stare at them all in a daze. He couldn't say all of his favourite parts, nor nearly all, because every part of you were his favourite parts, but most of them were on display. All for Eddie to drink up and fascinate himself with. Not only did you look so incredibly sexy but also so goddamn pretty, beautiful, breathtaking, he couldn't decide. The gods above he didn't believe in had created this devine goddess and on top of that you were his wife??

Compliments were exchanged between all the girls who wore their brand new outfits as well as some teasing directed towards not only Eddie but Jeff, Luke and Jonathan whose wives all had worn something slightly frisky. Finally after lots of back and forth everyone set out in their cars to Woodmans.

Eddie looked behind him to see both girls hot in an argument about why being the knight while playing princesses was better than being a princess and decided the coast was clear. He would love to shower you with dirty compliments but he couldn't, so the best he could do was lay a hand high up on your thigh and grasp on tightly as a sign of affection. You grinned and turned to him as he gave you a meaningful look, desperately trying to convey his message. The message being, If I could, I would fuck you right here, right now.

“Dad, you're hurting mom!” Roxette screeched from the backseat as she witnessed the skin under his hand turning a deeper shade, he quickly retracted his hand and placed it firmly on the steering wheel “No I’m not” he retorted, as if he himself was a 7 year old child too. “Yes you are, and mommy had bruises too, did you do that” she strained against her seatbelt as she attempted to look her father in the eye, you snorted before turning in your seat “No baby, I’m ok, he's not hurting me” you explained. “See” Eddie smugly chimed in as Roxy stuck her tongue out at him.

He cleared his throat as everyone made their way into the restaurant, both girls running off to talk to their friends “So uh are you not wearing any underwear?” he whispered into your ear as his free hand landed on your hip, the other occupied with holding your hand behind you “Wouldn't you like to know” your neck craned to give him eye contact as you turned, beginning to smirk as you felt his hand slip under the fabric in search of something “Is-” his fingers found the hem of your thong, slipping under it and following it down to the crook of your cheeks where it disappeared in between them “Is that a thong?” he frowned down at you in surprise “Well my normal underwear wouldn't work with this” you explained as his hand found your hip again and you adjusted the fabric to sit back over your ass.

A guttural groan left Eddie's throat as you all entered the restaurant.

The restaurant was packed with people but luckily the server brought you to a room at the back which was mostly empty, seating you all down in a cluster of tables. Dim cozy lights shone up above as 80s music played from tinny speakers. There was a lot of ruckus, convincing kids to sit down and everyone finding their seats, Luke telling his kids he was going to sit over with the grownups at a long table while they sat with the other children.

“Hey Dustin” Mike called from across the table, “Remember when we used to come here late at night after we got wasteeed!” he grinned as he sat down next to El, Lucas and Dustin hushed him just as Eric piped up “What's wasted?”, “Nice one Wheeler” Lucas groaned, “Uh wasted, uh, kids is, something that happens.. When you have a hankering for ice cream” Lucas explained to the kids now all listening in.

“I wanna get wasted” Billy stood up excitedly “I wanna get totally wasted!” Louise exclaimed, “I wanna get wasted every single day of my life!” Emma chimed in. “I wanna get chocolate wasted” Roxetted agreed, “No you don't need to get wasted, it's ok” you patted her on the back as Eddie grinned, watching you walk over from the kids table and sit down next to him.

An old round lady made her way over tugging a notebook out of her apron, “Alright everybody, you know what let me make this easy” Luke explained as silence fell over the group, “41 burgers and 41 fries, okay? And uh.. That’ll be for me, what are you guys having?” he laughed as a shared collection of awws and laughs sounded around the room. Individual meals were ordered on separate tabs despite Will and Winters offers of paying and soon enough all the food was eaten and most of the kids and adults were off playing games in the arcade across the building.

“So Eddie” Holly scooted over on the bench once Robin and Vickey walked off to play the games, now sat right next to Eddie whose conversation with Dustin had been broken off to go change Willow's diaper. “Hm?” He asked, looking up from his drink and turning his head towards her “Tell me more about your job, I never got a chance to ask before” she smiled as she crossed her legs and faced towards him, her knees pressing firmly against Eddies thigh.

“Uh pretty self explanatory really, just fixing cars days on end” he shrugged, instinctively moving his leg away at the contact but turning his torso towards her to give her his attention. “Mmm” she hummed “I bet it's really tiring, your poor muscles” she reached a hand out to grab his shoulder, squeezing lightly a few times before letting her hand linger. “Uh, it's- uh… it's not too bad” Eddie frowned, confused at the action.

Next to him you were brought away from your conversation with a few others turning to see Holly squeezing at your husband's shoulder. Not only was she touching your man but he was also letting her? You frowned as Holly leaned in “I could help loosen them up if you want” she smiled a sultry smile as she looked up at Eddie with glossed over doe eyes “Uh no thanks, my wife usually does that” apparently the mention of you didn't have the intended effect, Holly only leaned in further, her hand sliding down his shoulder to grasp at his bicep.

“Is your wife here?” her voice was dropping lower by the second as her hand slid further down to plant a firm grasp on his thigh. “Yes” you leaned past Eddie to look Holly dead in the eye, she quickly ripped her hand away from his thigh “So would you please stop flirting with my husband” you frowned in disgust as Holly stuttered. “I-I uh, I’m so sorry” she looked down towards her lap. So far you hadn't ever spoken to Holly, you hadn't seen her since you were roughly 20 and she was a mere 6 years old but now that you had you found you weren't particularly fond of the 26 year old nonetheless.

Holly scuttled off embarrassed, pushing through the double doors to the room and out into the general restaurant area. “Thanks” Eddie breathed as he turned towards you, you only hummed annoyed in response as you turned back to the others. Eddie frowned at your reaction, bending down to give a kiss to your cheek in yet another thanks, you however made no reaction as you started talking to Luke.

Just as he was about to ask you what was wrong Steve leaned over the table to get Eddie's attention, sliding over a check in thanks for his work on the minivan earlier in the day.

He didn't get any more chances to talk to you as it seemed both of you were busy talking to other people at all times, he furthermore couldn't talk to you since you and Roxette were sat with Steve and Nancy surrounded by some of their kids in their newly working car on the way home, trading places so that Ophelia, Mercy, Louise and Emma could all sit together in your car.

Anxiety was bubbling up in Eddies chest, he had just gotten you back he didn't want to lose you again.

Finally after putting the girls to bed much too late you both got a moment of peace. Eddie whispered a hey as he wrapped his arms around you the second you came through the door from brushing your teeth. “Hi” your tone was flat when you answered him, already pulling away to put your things down. “What's wrong?” he sighed as he sat down on the foot of the bed, watching as you rummaged through the bags to find your sleep shirt. “Nothing” your tone was still flat but it let up in an exasperated “I’m just tired”. This time as you took your clothes off, Eddie wasn’t oggling like some teenager, he knew that I’m just tired and he knew it was bullshit.

Once you'd thrown the t-shirt over your head he beckoned you over, pleased when you stood between his thighs and letting his hands run up and down the backs of your own instead of ignoring him and going to bed. “I just” you sighed “Just Holly, really bugged me” you rolled your eyes at the fact that it affected you so much, it didn't normally. Normally when you heard someone flirting with Eddie you’d feel smug, knowing you had him first, but maybe it was seeing it hands on, literally, while you were right next to him. Blatant disrespect for your relationship. “Ah, well I don't think she knew we were married babe, either way you know I only have eyes for one girl” he squeezed teasingly at your ass as he grinned up at you “I know” you rolled your eyes at his cheesiness before a slight grin crept up on your features.

“Besides now you know how I feel” he ran his hands up your sides to hold onto your clothed hips “How you feel?” you asked confused, “Yeah, guys are always fuckin’ staring at you at bars and shit”

“No they're not” you laughed, “Oh believe me, they are, I know that look, I’ve done that look” he widened his eyes as he stared up at you, but you only chuckled in response “Sure babe” you pulled away from him and rounded the bed, walking over to your bedside table, slipping all your jewellery off but leaving your wedding band and engagement ring on.

“I’m serious, it's the same way Greg looks at you” he stood up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the bench next to the bags. “Greg?” you turned around frowning as you unclipped your earrings. “Yes Greg, any excuse to stare at your ass in those pencil skirts and he takes it” he unbuckled his belt as you pulled the covers away from the bed, sitting up against the headboard.

“Oh please, he’s married and I'm really not his type, have you seen his wife?” you countered as he pulled his pants down. Greg's wife was short, skinny and blonde, basically the opposite of you. “Oh trust me, you're his type” he rolled his eyes as he placed his jeans next to his shirt, “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there because you've clearly lost yours” you scoffed eyes following Eddie as he walked over and slipped under the covers and sat next to you.

As he removed his rings and watch he spoke “He stares at you like you're something to eat, and I bet he just loves spending late nights at the office with you” you scoffed once again, sliding down in the bed and laying on your side with you back to him. “You're ridiculous”

“Am I?”

“Yes”

“Is it really that ridiculous that I’m just a little bit worried that some sleeze is hovering around my wife, spending long nights working on a supposed project, not only that but the fact that I haven't even seen my wife the past six months?” you gasp in offence as you turn around to face him, sitting up with your legs to one side, bedcover gathering around your waist “Are you saying you think I’m cheating on you?” your glare is menacing, but not enough to break Eddie.

“Well are you? I mean we havent had sex in fucking forever”

“We had sex yesterday!”

“Yeah and that was the first time since christmas, its june. Maybe you’ve been so busy fucking him huh?”

“How fucking dare you? No I am not cheating on you you absolute asshole, I’ve been fucking depressed. But only King Eddie is allowed to feel down is that it? You're the only one who gets to say no yeah?”

“You've been depressed?” Eddies anger dissipated instantly as he watched your ragefilled eyes “Fucking obviously!” you threw your hands out. “I-I didn’t know..” he mumbled shamefully as he looked down towards his lap “Of course not, because you're too busy trying to get me naked to even notice” your hands rub angrily over your face.

“I- Of course I noticed, I just didn’t know it was that bad. Why didn't you tell me?” His heartful gaze was too much to bear as he looked up at you with sad eyes, you looked away to fiddle in your lap as you sheepishly admitted “I didn't want to bother you” tears were threatening to build up by your waterline so you furiously blinked them away. Eddie moved in front of you to sit on his knees, warm hands wrapped around your shoulders bringing you into his naked chest “Baby you could never bother me. I-I know you didn't grow up in a household where you could talk about your feelings but I’m not your mom, I’m your husband, you can tell me anything ok?” you felt him kiss your forehead as you were brought back down to the bed.

You were having trouble registering his next words, his previous statement building a sensation through you, shoulders tensing, and stomach knotting as warning bells sounded in your head that you were about to crumble.

“I’m here for you, always. But you just have to talk to me” with one arm around you he used his other to manoeuvre the cover to sit over the both of you before wrapping his arms tightly around you. “Ok” you whispered against him “Ok?” he breathed back “Ok”.

You pulled away from him to look up at his face, eyes swimming with infinite love for you, pink lips tugging into a smile. You kissed those same lips, smiling up at him once you broke apart, both the furious insistence that you not let his words get to you and the fact that his smile could light up a room made the worry slowly melt away. Eyes flitting down to his lips deciding to kiss him again, and again, and again until suddenly you were moving on the mattress to straddle his hips. Slowly hardening cock pressing against your thong as a hand came down to grab desperately at your ass.

Well that switched up quickly, he thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to continue the conversation. A subconscious decision he would find out later, might not have been the best idea. But his body worked faster than his brain, skin on fire with the feeling of you against him.

A groan left Eddie's throat as your tongue licked at his lips, begging for entrance while simultaneously beginning to grind against him. “Hmmph fuck” he breathed as his hand slid under your shirt, grabbing hungrily at your tit. You continued like that for a near minute before a wicked idea popped into your head, sure it was cruel but it was too fun of an opportunity to pass up.

You pulled away from him and sat up, a look of surprise spreading over Eddies face as his hand slipped from under your shirt “I don't wanna do this” you breathed, “What?” he whispered, you could hear the confusion in his voice “This” you gestured between your bodies “We don't have to if you don't want to, we can just you know, do it another time” his hands found yours in an attempt to reassure you. “No Eddie like… at all” it was so difficult not to burst out laughing as Eddie looked up at you extremely confused, slight hurt and disappointment peaking through his gaze.

“But-but we had sex” he was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing, not understanding how you switched up so fast, again, you initiated the kiss after all. “Just because we had sex doesn't mean we have to” one of his hands left yours to run through his hair in an attempt to cool his annoyance. “But if we both want to?” you shrugged “I guess, but I don't want to” the fact that you weren't climbing off him was just confusing him further “So were just.. back to no sex?”

“I dunno Eddie, it's just not the same” you sighed.

“Not the same?” he was deeply frowning now.

“It's not… fun… anymore” you had to avoid his gaze in order to stifle off your laughing. “It's not fun?” he inquired, voice raising in pitch to show his utter confusion. You couldn't help let out the snort bubbling from the back of your throat. You looked up at him and suddenly burst out in full laughter “Oh you fucking-” he breathed a sigh of relief as you laughed maniacally.

“You should have seen your face!” you wheezed as he wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body shaking with laughter back down to him “Not nice” he pouted. You looked up “I’m sorry” you mimicked his pout “You want me to make it up to you?” cupping his cheek as you spoke before sitting up and running your hands down his chest and stomach slowly. Eddie cleared his throat when he understood what you were insinuating “Ahem I mean only if you want to” you flashed him a cheeky grin as you slid down his thighs.

Bending down to peck at his lips you began trailing kisses down his torso, it was his turn to be embarrassed now so you opted for leaving a trail of hickies all the way down to the hem of his boxers, looking up at him with those eyes he always swore would be the death of him as you effectively palmed him over the fabric.

This was too god to be true, not only had he gotten to eat you out, and then fuck you after months and months of desperation, but you were now sliding further down his thighs, planting yourself on his calves about to give him a fucking blow job. Yep, it was too good to be true.

You hummed seductively as you pulled his boxers down under his balls to reveal his excruciatingly hard cock, precum beginning to collect and dribble from his concealed tip, pooling just under his navel. He let out a strained sigh as he felt your soft lips connect with his undercarriage, a soft kiss to the velvety skin which had him near panting.

In an agonisingly slow pace you kissed down his shaft, each kiss further spurring his heavy breathing on until a soft moan left his throat at the sensation of your tongue sliding up hot from the bottom of his shaft to the top. Your soft fingers wrapped lightly around his tip, one lazy stroke bringing his angry red tip to view beneath the skin, he couldn't help the borderline loud groan as he felt your tongue kitten lick at his slit, humming at the taste of his precum. “Mmm you missed this baby?” your voice was smooth and sultry like velvety smoke as you spoke, pulling back to adore the view of Eddie's half lidded eyes staring up at you in desperation and need as his hands gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles were threatening to turn white. “Y-yeah” he stuttered, trying his best at keeping his voice level and not letting it fall into a high pitched whine, inevitably revealing his pathetic need for you to touch him. A need which was unfamiliar to him, something so strong he hadn't felt it since he was a teenager and it was his first time doing this, it was intimidating.

“Yeah? You been thinking about this alot?” you stroking him lazily up and down was not helping him mask his desperation, each time revealing his tip before hiding it again, much too slowly for his liking. “Fuck, so much” he let his eyes flutter shut, soaking up each and every sensation of your hands on him instead. “Yeah been thinking about my lips wrapped around this big cock? Sucking as if my life depended on it?” at this point you were revelling in his poorly hidden desperation and spurring it on was only feeding your ego more. “Look at you, so desperate. Maybe I should hold off more, watch you work yourself up until you're just a whining mess beneath me more often? I’ve barely touched you baby” you hummed, tightening your grip only slightly.

“No!” Eddie almost shouted at your suggestion, eyes snapping open to look at your evil smirk. “P-please don't- don't do that” all you did was hum at his pleading. Bending down you softly wrap your lips around his tip, sucking with minimal effort yet it still has his hips bucking up into you, forcing nearly half his cock down your mouth, only stopping with the resistance of the back of your throat.

You hum in faux annoyance as you release him with a pop, “So desperate, you have no self control baby” to further accentuate your point you pin him with a harsh stare and a pout as he opens his eyes again “I’m sorry” the whisper is so quiet it nearly goes unrecognisable as spoken words to your ears, but you hear it and you grin wickedly as you soak up the scene before you. Your husband beneath you with your hand wrapped around him as another rubs softly up and down his thigh, bringing the sparse hair with you and then smoothing it over again. His slack jaw betrays the absolute bliss he's experiencing at the feeling of pushing at your throat only seconds before. Eyes glossed over and dripping with infinite adoration but also pure unfiltered hunger.

You hum again at his response, wrapping your lips around the tip and forcing his hips down with your free hand at the prospect of him bucking up into you again. A strangled whine leaves his throat as he writhes beneath you, his neck stretching taut to reveal thick muscles as his eyes roll to the back of his head. There's a thought to bring your hand up and squeeze at those same muscles but you dismiss it as his hips start to shake slightly, the task of forcing them down more pressing than choking him slightly.

You bob up and down on his tip a few times, what makes up only a near fifth of his cock threatening to be too much for your mouth to handle. A desperate whine leaves his lips as you pull off him with another pop, his eyes opening once again to understand why you released him, they fall closed again, crinkling at the corners as he screws his face up when he feels your hot tongue run over one of his balls.

“Fuck!” he's way too close to being loud enough that everybody else will hear him at this point. You bring him into your mouth, sucking gently while still lazily stroking him, he’s releasing a mix of whines and whimpers when your tongue traces patterns on the soft skin before moving to the other after a few seconds, giving his other side the same treatment.

You release him again to watch his screwed up face, his hand not soon before finding yours and grasping onto you in a bone breaking hold. “Look at you” you tut “So desperate, whimpering even” you chuckle lightly as he opens his eyes to glare at you “Hm” you hum in faux pity as you sit up slightly, hand on his hip working its was up to cup his cheek, sliding down and pulling at his bottom lip with your thumb, watching it slap back into place. “Don't worry baby, just tell me what you want”.

“N-need you..” he closed his eyes in embarrassment after voicing his request “Need me to do what pretty boy?” he whines at the pet name, writhing beneath you in desperation as he tried to will his mind to stop blocking him for telling you what he wanted. “S-suck” is all he manages to get out. You ponder the idea of pushing him further but he looks so desperate from where you're sat, you decide to indulge him, humming pitifully before bending back down and wrapping your lips around his tip, sucking him down to half his length and then back up again.

You repeat the process revelling in the desperate groans and now only occasional whines as you tongue at his cock. The hand not holding yours finds its rightful place at the root of your hair, tugging slightly as he guides you up and down. You increase your pace and hear his groans go louder as well as feel his thighs tensing tremendously. “Shh baby you gotta be quiet” you whisper as you come up for a deep breath. He works his fingers out of yours to bite down on his flexed knuckles. You hum in approval and go back to his cock, determined to take him deeper you force him down to the back of your throat, taking deep breaths through your nose each time you pull up.

With your now free hand you opt for massaging his balls lightly, close to laughter as his hips buck up, this time not restraining him.

For only a mere 15 seconds you get to continue before you feel his whole body shake beneath you, one particular thrust of his hips unveiling his angry red head, millions of nerves on fire as they brush over your tongue and throat causing his inevitable orgasm. That and the fact that his hand is pressing your head down as far as you'll go, forcing his cock right down your throat, while his sack tenses in your hand, is the only sign of him no longer teetering over the edge but about to fall right off it. It’s all the warning you get before hot spurts of cum shoot down your throat as he groans loudly against his hand.

It feels as though your lungs begin to close up as his neverending release continues. Finally however his shaking simmers under your touch and you pull off him quickly, panting to find your breath again. As you pull away his hand slips from your hair to thud against the mattress.

Once you've found a steady pace of breathing again you look down and chuckle breathily, Eddie's face is still screwed up and he's biting down hard on his knuckles, no doubt leaving marks. His abs are prominent as he still clenches his stomach, as well as all his other muscles. Your hands sliding smoothly over his torso has him fully relaxing beneath you, he's still panting heavily after his orgasm but each breath slowing by the second.

You grin as you climb off him and fall onto the mattress next to him, even after you've pulled his boxers back up and wriggled your way under the duvet he's still in the same position, finally softening his features and letting his hand fall to his side. With his eyes still closed you pick up his hand to inspect the deep red indents in his skin, beads of blood collecting in each.

Eventually he opens his eyes to find you grinning down at him “Holy shit” he breathes as he rolls over on his side, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. “I have never seen you that desperate” you giggle as he grasps onto your hand against his chest “Shut up” he chuckles as he closes his eyes and snuggles his forehead against the top of your head. “I mean jesus dude”, he only hugs you tighter in response.

Suddenly he pulls away from you, looking down at you intensely “Wait, was this all a distraction?” you frown at his words “Do you actually not want to have sex anymore?” his face is painted with worry and desperation for an answer. “Jesus Eddie can’t I just suck your dick?” you laugh, his face relaxing into exaggerated and with a shrug he says “No you can” you giggle again and nuzzle your face into his chest.

Just as the night before it seemed that no matter how you fell asleep you always ended up on your side with Eddie curled up behind you. Eddie woke up suddenly, rushing out of bed to get to the bathroom as he passed his kids in the hall making their way to your room, not stopping to say good morning before ripping the door open and shuffling inside.

“Moooom” you awoke with a scream as you found Roxettes widely grinning face less than an inch away from your own, “Jesus christ” you sighed as Roxy laughed and made her way over to her sister rooting through the bags. “What’s this?” Ophelia asked curiously as she held up a blood red lace teddy, you jumped out of bed ripping it away from her hands and shoving it into a ball back into the bag it came from. She frowned “It's just underwear” you sighed as she continued frowning “It didn't look like underwear”, “Well it was”.

As Eddie came back to the room he was greeted by the full view of your ass as you bent over to look through the bag next to Roxette who was now viewing her two outfit options she had laid out on the bed and Ophelia nagging you to find her swimsuit. He cleared his throat, alerting you all to his presence “Oh hi, can you go check downstairs if Ophelia's bikini is there?” your voice was rushed as you quickly turned back to look through the bag. “Sure” was all he said before he was out the door without a second thought.

As you suggested Ophelia find her clothes for the day while Dad looked for her swimsuit, the Dad himself leisurely made his way across the hall and down the stairs. Gareth burst out laughing as well as Luke and Jeff who were all sat around the kitchen table. “What?” he asked as he made his way over to the couch, spotting the swimsuit immediately. “Real sexy man” Jeff commented as Eddie stood back up, suddenly realising he was in nothing but his boxers he instinctively covered his crotch with both hands. “Guess she got you back then” Luke gestured to his chest and down his stomach laughing as Eddie looked down to see the trail of hickies down his torso.

“Man fuck all of yall, least I’m getting some” he gave the group the finger as he promptly walked past the armchairs and up the stairs.

“Dad you have bruises too” Roxette slapped a hand to Eddie's stomach, causing him to groan as he threw the bikini at Ophelia, unintentionally throwing it at her face, she frowned as she picked the items off her head. “Mhm, yep” he pulled the shirt you had thrown at him in response to his attack on your daughter, over his head.

Breakfast had been eaten and Eddie said his goodbye as you gathered the girls and took them down with you to the beach. Pulling all his things out of his pockets he haphazardly tossed them onto the coffee table before joining Jeff, Luke, Gareth, Steve and Jonathan out on the dock where they were throwing the canoes into the water.

Within 10 minutes they were all in their boats and paddling away, Eddie and Jeff sharing one, Luke and Steve, and Garet and Jonathan sharing the others.

“This reminds me of when we were 14 going out on Lovers lake” Eddie commented as they slowed down a few hundred yards away from shore, “Got my first boob that time we all went together” Gareth supplied proudly, “I know you did, it was my wife, and may I add accidental” Eddie grumbled as the group laughed. “No regrets, perfect tits” the group exploded with laughter as Eddie threatened that he had no issue jumping out of his canoe and pulling Gareth out of his.

“Alright Emmerson, that all you think about? Chicks?” Luke laughed, “Yeah relax dude most of us got daughters” Steve added, “That's all you guys think about too, especially this guy” he pointed towards Eddie “Difference is, I can do something about it”

��That's not true! Alright it's true” Eddie laughed.

“You wanna know what I fantasise about?” Luke asked as he stared at the back of Steve's head, turning to Gareth and Jonathan he continued, “Candy-bars”

“Candy-bars?” Jeff laughed, “No, I had a bad blood sugar test at my last checkup and Simone cut me off” Luke threw his hands out in slight annoyance as he explained. “You're a grown ass man, how do you deal with that?” Jeff accused as Luke placed his paddle in the boat and leaned back with his hands behind his head “Oh, I got my own hidden stash, I’m not stupid” the group laughed as he continued “Seriously, I got it all. I got Reese’s, Butterfingers, 3 musketeers. I hide ‘em under my clothes in the bottom of the hamper” he demonstrated with his hands before rowing again “It's great because the smell in my sweat socks masks the chocolate smell”

“And the looks of your underwear match the chocolate stains” Jonathan laughed, earning the same reaction from the rest of them. “Hey, hey, hey, hang on, guys I gotta make a sissy” Steve held his hand out, seemingly not distinguishing between his kids and a group of men when it came to his wording. The group began protesting as Steve repeated himself in a shout “I gotta make a sissy!”

“Come on, you made three already!” Jeff groaned, “It must be just oozing out at this point” Steve gave Jonathan the finger as he stood up in the boat “Shut up I’m trying to concentrate”. “It’s taking a piss, not the SATs” Eddie rolled his eyes “Yeah you should know, you took 21 of them”

“Fuck off”

Steve screwed his face up in concentration as the group heard his intermittent stream, Eddie held his hand out in confusion “Are you peeing or is a diesel truck turning off? What the hell is that?”

“Listen to hamper bottom” Luke laughed “I think he’s sending a message in morse code” he held his finger up “Getting old. Stop. Can’t pee. Stop. Reeks like asparagus. Stop. Even though I didn't even have any. Stop.” he laughed as Eddie spoke “The good news is these girls are gonna have to say hi to it” he waved as a motorboat full of girls in bikinis drove by. “What’s up ladies?” he grinned.

“Hey girls!” Gareth waved enthusiastically, the group of girls shouted complaints at the men as Steve awkwardly waved at them, “They don't all look like that ladies” Jonathan grinned. Just as Luke was about to say something Steve turned, spraying a little bit over the front of his t-shirt before turning back to the water “Aah! Come on!” he whined.

After a near hour round trip they made it back, Luke swearing as he ran off to throw on a clean shirt, without warning Eddie ripped his own off, tossing it onto the wood as he slipped his shoes off and cannonballed right in between you, Ophelia and Roxette. Both girls squealed as you splashed him in the face when he resurfaced. “Asshole” you shrieked as you pounced on him, dunking his head under the water with force from behind.

Before you had a chance to react you felt Eddie's hands wrap around your thighs and before you knew it you were hoisted into the air on his shoulders. You didn't even get a chance to breathe before he flung you off to back-flop into the water. As you resurfaced both girls were already hounding their father for him to do the same for them, you giggled as you watched him throw your eldest off him. As he continued you gazed around the beach, the water filled with happy little kids splashing away as the group canoeing collected on the wooden chairs not far from the various towels scattered over the beach with various occupants.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Holly sat next to Ariana watching intently, you rolled your eyes and chose to ignore her, instead joining in with throwing the kids about.

The kids had set up a blanket fort in the attic and were all gathered munching on their sandwiches as the adults ate their lunch in the mixture of a dining and living room. “Oh Rob, can you pass me my wallet” Eddie raised his voice as he sat next to most of the younger ‘kids’ by the dining table, Robin looked up from her conversation with Charlotte and Winter on the couch and motioned towards the black leather on the table, “Yeah that one” Robin picked it up and flung it across the room towards him as something slipped out and floated to the floor in front of Gareth who was making his way to the fridge for a beer.

Eddie caught his wallet and frowned as he saw Gareth bend down and pick up a polaroid, “Is this you?!” he exclaimed in surprise, clutching the photo Gareth turned to you in one of the arm chairs “Huh?” you asked as you looked up. Before Gareth had the chance to show you Eddie was jumping over the table, knocking a glass of juice over in the process and ripping the polaroid away from Gareth's hands with a “Give me that!”

“Holy shit!” Gareth exclaimed as Eddie shoved the photo back into his wallet “What?” you placed your plate on the floor and stood up, walking over to Eddie who was now giving Gareth a death glare. You pulled the wallet from Eddie, opening it up to see the same family photo from when the kids were 4 and 7 in the plastic pocket. Examining it further you realised a collection of polaroids were shoved in one of the pockets for dollar bills.

You gasped as you pulled them out, looking up to Eddie's embarrassed and awkward face as he shoved his hands in his pockets. You felt Gareth leaning over your shoulder as you looked through them and quickly pulled away from him. “I thought you kept these at home” you whispered angrily as Gareth chuckled and continued his mission of getting a drink.

“Well I didn't” Eddie answered sheepishly as you continued looking through them. A whole collection of photos from one particular night where both girls had been away at a school sleepover, leaving the house empty for the both of you in late September of last year. It seemed the photos had been kept in the order they had beentaken in, a couple showing you in lacy black underwear with thigh garders connecting to your hips, one in the doorway and one stood between Eddies thighs, a few more of you giving Eddie a blow job, one of Eddie eating you out, one of your bare pussy, one of you on your back holding your legs up to your chest, pussy on show as well as every other intimate part of you, four of just your naked upper body, laid on the bed, staring up at the photographer with an assortment of fuck me eyes and wide, open mouth, eyes rolled back’s and one last one, crumpled up seemingly the one Gareth had seen.

You on your back, breasts free from their confines and spilling to the side, eyes closed and a happy smile on your face, and long thick ropes of cum painting your stomach and chest.

“Is this the one he saw?” you whisper, it seemed the rest of the group had gone back to their conversations after the interruption “Yeah..” you give a bratty and annoyed grunt as you shove the photos back into Eddie's wallet and thrust it into his chest angrily. He takes it and makes a show of stuffing it into his pocket before you turn away and sit back down in your arm chair.

He was so fucked, and it seemed not only he knew it but the rest of the table who were looking at him with awkward sympathy, as well as Gareth grinning wickedly, not only from the photo but your reaction to it. He wasn't sure what to do, you were making it quite obvious you didn't want to talk to him given the fact that your back was now turned to him, half twisted in your chair. He felt like he should talk to you about it, apologise, but instead his feet steered him back to the table, “Shit” he mumbled under his breath as he saw Dustin bent down cleaning up the juice with a rag “Here let me” he grabbed the towel and continued mopping up the spilled drink, wringing it out in the sink and hanging the towel up on the oven handle he caught an annoyed glare from you which made him fold in on himself as he sat back down.

He took his chance to talk to you as he heard you excuse yourself to the bathroom, cornering you just outside the door. “Babe, I am so sorry” he pleaded as you turned to face him, you looked behind him to see Mike walking down the hall and quickly grabbed his hand, pulling him into the bathroom and locking the door.

“Are you ok?” his voice was soft as he spoke to you, leaning up against the counter as you turned and made a beeline for the toilet. “I’m fine, I’m just..” you took a second to think over your words as you pulled your calf-long green flowery skirt up and in turn your underwear down, “embarrassed” you finished as you sat down. “I’m sorry, I wasn't thinking when I asked Robin to throw it” he spoke as you began peeing.

“It’s fine” you sighed as you wiped and stood up, bumping his hip with yours to get him to move away from the sink. He wrapped his arms around you as you washed your hands. “Is it actually fine or is this one of those times where you say it's fine but it's actually not?” his eyes found yours in the mirror, moving with you as you dried your hands and spun around in his grasp. “It's actually fine” you couldn't help the small tug of your lips as you looked up at his wide eyes.

A smile painted his features as he saw your face “They been in there the whole time?” you snort slightly when he nods, “What do you even do with them?” definitely a stupid question, but for some reason you wanted to hear him say it. “What do you think I do with them?” he laughed “I jerk off to them, obviously” he rolled his eyes playfully as you grinned.

“That what you do when you spend an hour in the shower without it even running?” your eyebrows tugged down as you tried stifling an ever wider smirk, “Yeah as if you hadn't already figured that out” you shrug as he fakes a look of exasperation “At least you're not making the water bill worse than it already is” he rolled his eyes again. “Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there” The sentence this time said under slightly nicer circumstances. Your grin breaks into a giggle as he begins tickling you.

After some shrieking at him to stop he finally does, and when you catch your breath you look up at him again “What else do you jerk off to?” he snorts a laugh at the sudden change in demeanour but looks down at you with some trace of seriousness “Mostly just that kind of stuff” he shrugs, he definitely had a lot more photos stashed at home, but he had to admit that little collection was by far his favourite “Really? For six months? Jesus Christ, aren't you bored of my body yet?”

“I’m beginning to think you're the one with no brain now, I’d never get tired of your body” he squeezes you ass playfully, beaming when you giggle again.

“I just remembered I brought my yoga tape, we could do a little yoga sesh tomorrow, what do you think?” is the first thing you hear as Charlotte makes her way up to you with a beaming smile, pearly whites on show as she holds her hand together above her stomach hopefully. “Sure, sounds fun” Charlotte jumps happily as you feel Eddie kiss your cheek before walking back to the dining table.

Eden and Argyle set up games for the kids outside as the rest of you are scattered about the property. You smile as you hear shrieking from the kids playing tag, happily chatting to a group on the wrap around porch as Vickie paints your now acrylic nails. She's gone through most of the people who wanted their nails done by now, including Eddie who got black and white spider webs painted on his natural nails, over the moon that she got so many people to practise on in preparation for her new job as a nail tech.

“Hot” Eddie grins as he leans over your shoulder to see your medium length, almond shaped, blood red extensions, you grin up at him and peck his lips when he bends down, your kiss cut short as he shuffles to the side to let Roxette through, sick of running around she lets out a loud sigh as she finds a seat in your lap. “Whatcha doooin?” she asks as she inspects Vickies work “Getting our nails done, you wanna?” she happily nods and tells Vickie “Can I have black? Like monster nails, this long!” she shows an exaggerated length by holding her hands apart a near foot, Vickie looks up at you concerned as you turn to your daughter, “Maybe not that long baby, how about something like this” you show on your own nails, now finished as Vickie switches the UV light off, demonstrating half the length of what you have.

She sighs but agrees and you ask Vickie if that's ok, to which she nods before going to work on a fresh set of nails.

“Dad look!” she squeals as she finds him laying in the grass next to Jonathan, Argyle and Dustin who's playing with Willow. “Wow!” he exclaims in mildly faux excitement, “Aren't they a little long?” concern paints his features as he holds onto her hands “Moms are longer” is all the argument she gives before running off to watch Ophelia get her nails painted bubblegum pink.

The clock neared 9 pm as everyone sat gathered in the empty boathouse to watch Dustin's homemade movie screen, Star Wars: A New Hope playing in the projector as it shows on the white bedsheet hanging on the wall. Most of Hellfire spent the afternoon dragging down couches and armchairs from the basement, setting out snacks and drinks as well as multiple blankets and pillows to set up movienight. Pizza had been ordered and now you were comfortably snuggled up to the arm of a couch as Roxetted curled up in your lap, watching intently. Ophelia sat with the Harringtons barely paying any attention as they whispered to each other excitedly.

Next to you sat Eddie who had Jeff and Tracy on his other side, all munching away on their slices of pizza, both Jeff and Eddie watching intently as you and Tracy giggled at their intense gazes despite them having seen the movie hundreds of times. From the other side of the room Robin waved a pack of cigarettes at you, a silent invitation for you to join her, you grinned and nodded before bowing your head down to whisper “Think you can sit with Dad for a little bit?” in Roxettes ear. She nodded and with her eyes never leaving the screen she shifted over, pizza slice hanging from her mouth while she plopped down in Eddie's lap.

The scene was absolutely comical, Eddie automatically moving his plate out of the way and settling her in his lap while both of them never wavered in their watching the movie. You left both of them to awkwardly climb over people on the floor, whispering sorry’s until you got to the door.

Robin handed you the packet of cigarettes and you lit one as you walked off the peer and onto the grass, sitting down next to her. “So Vickies becoming a nail tech” you kept your voice quiet, it seemed a shame to disturb it as silence fell over Muskegon, the only sound being the movie playing softly in the background. “Yeah, she's real excited, I’m proud of her” you smiled at the love Robin had for her girlfriend. “How’s it going with the ring?” when Robin had first announced that she was going to propose you, Nancy and Steve were all over the moon, squealing excitedly and talking nonstop about the wedding.

“Picking it up on sunday next week, called today” she grinned “Yeah that's why I asked doofus” suddenly the door opened and you both turned to see Nancy making her way across the wood panelling making grabby hands as she got closer.

The three of you sat chatting for a near 40 minutes until the door opened again, gaining the attention of all three of you, you stood up when you saw Eddie carrying Roxette, her arms flung over his shoulders as her head bobbed with each step. “Want me to take her?” you whispered once you got to them, you smoothed your hand over her curls which she had inherited from her father, “You sure?” he stood with his side to you, showing her peaceful face as she slept in his arms. “Yeah, go watch the movie” you whispered back. She stirred as he handed her over to you with a thanks, you waved a hand to the girls, telling them you'd be back in a few.

Walking back with Roxette in your arms proved to be heavier with each step but eventually you made it down to the basement and placed her on the mattress next to Ophelias, making sure to be as quiet as possible as to not wake the other kids who had been unfortunate enough to miss the movie due to their age. Slipping her shoes off as well as her jean shorts and tucking her into bed you gave a kiss to her forehead. When you were certain she was asleep you tiptoed back out the room and up the stairs.

Once the movie was over and most of the stuff from the boathouse was brought back inside you both tucked Ophelia to bed. “Ugh I forgot I have to shower” you groan once you step over the threshold to your bedroom walking straight to the bench across from you to pick up your toiletries and towel. “I gotta shower too but you go first I’ll just wait here” Eddie says as he sits down on the foot of the bed, “We can.. shower together if you want” you suggest as you make your way back to the door.

Nah this was just too much, only a few days ago he wasn't even touching you and now you wanted to shower with him? Was he high? Was this all a dream? Was he gonna wake up tomorrow to find himself back on day one of this trip, disappointed because you hadn't wanted to do anything despite the change of scenery?

“Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face, “Huh what?” he shakes his head and looks up at you “I said we can shower together, if you want to?”

“Hell yes” he stands up so quickly you think he might fall over, but instead he just rushes to snatch his towel up and tap your ass to get you out the door. “How are you already hard??” you whisper as he eagerly tears his shorts down and steps out of them, hard cock slapping his stomach before standing out proudly, “I’m getting to shower with my wife” he says with wide eyes as he pulls his shirt over his head, leaving him in nothing but a silver chain, a deep red pick with your name written in acrylic resting below his collarbone “You do realise shower means shower right? It's not a codeword for sex” you explain as you pull your thin corroded coffin t-shirt over your head.

“Still, it's you, naked” he grins as you unclasp your bra, you roll your eyes playfully as he watches you like a child promised candy. “Well get in then” you gesture to the shower, pulling your bra off and letting it fall to the floor. He walks slowly, eyes never leaving your figure as you pull your skirt down. “Jesus Eddie, you've seen me naked like a million times” you laugh after he knocks his shins into the bathtub wall, he grins sheepishly as he steps over it.

He shakes his head as if to force out all of his dirty thoughts before turning the shower on, the fact that Eden had just stepped out of the shower minutes before played in his favour. He stepped under the stream of warm water after checking the temperature with his hand, running his hair back and away from his face he soaks up the feeling of the water pattering against his skin.

He turns instantly when he hears you step over the small wall and into the bath, not giving you a second to hang your toiletry bag up next to him before circling his arms around you, inevitably pressing his hard cock against the soft dough that is the middle of your stomach.

You reach behind him and fumble blindly until you manage to hook the bag onto one of the metal bars connecting to a shelf already full of wash products. When you pull your arm back you wrap it around his neck to join your hands behind him.

Eddie hums happily and squeezes you tighter, when the hug stretches to 20 seconds long you pull away from him, “As much as I do like hugging you I did actually come in here to shower” he rolls his eyes and groans as he lets you move around him to stand in the firing range of the water.

His hand stops you before you can wrap your fingers around the shampoo bottle, non-verbally telling you he would do it, you shrug and smile at him. You tip your head back slightly as he squirts a hefty amount of frosty gel into his hand, rubbing both together before smoothing them down the surface of your hair.

You let an open mouthed hum escape your lips as the tips of his fingers begin massaging your scalp, you feel his hands twitch for a second at the sound before no doubt pushing through and continuing his work in your hair.

You decide not to tease him by making the sound again, instead you stay quiet and enjoy the sweet and in some way, very much needed, moment between the two of you. It seems Eddie drags the time out of washing your hair because by the time his hands retract you’ve closed your eyes in a lull while a content daze creeps through you.

You whisper a thanks as you turn around, you close your eyes and bring your arms up to run your fingers through your hair and rinse under the water. Not noticing as Eddie's eyes trail down your body. Soaking up every beautiful sight that he’s rewarded with, from your relaxed face, down your thick arms, soft skin pulled with the weight of gravity, to the litter of fading hickies running down your neck to your collarbones, further to your now slightly perkier tits, weight following your raised arms. Down to your soft stomach and hips, he leans back to examine you further, wispy hairs curling over your mound, plush squishy thighs to your calves. He always argued with you when you called them chicken legs and watching you now even strengthened his point that you were wrong.

He snaps his eyes back to yours as you pull your head forward and open your eyes. This time you don’t reach for the next item in your routine, instead you turn around as Eddie pulls the conditioner from the plastic pocket.

Once he’s gone through the motions of running his hands through your hair, smoothing product into the strands you motion for him to switch places. He stands expectantly before you as you sigh, “Babe I hate to break it to you but you're like 6 foot 3, you either gotta bend down or sit on your knees” you chuckle as you can feel him roll his eyes at you. “Mm, you want me on my knees, kinky” he grins at you from over his shoulder, bright teeth on show as he grins wider at your mimic of his reaction, you roll your eyes.

The first thing he says as your fingers come into contact with his own scalp is “Ugh I’ve missed this” his feet slotted between yours after he folded himself down to his knees against the ceramic. “What having someone else wash your hair cuz’ you’re too lazy?” chuckling you work your fingers through his hair, making sure to get every square inch, partly to prolong the moment just like he had but also because you know damn well he is actually too lazy to wash his precious curls properly. You giggle as he nips at your thigh gently, “Shut up, I wash my hair” he grumbles, “You sure? Because there seems to be a lot of dandruff here” another nip to the thigh has you laughing again, the volume dampening quickly when you remember there are people on the other side of both walls.

“Shut up” he laughs, for a long time that sound hadn't had any particular effect on you, but in this particular moment, you feel the formerly black, now neutral, vines colour in a bright shades of golden orange hues. Happiness flowing through you from your chest as his genuine, honest laugh plays like music to your ears.

You let the gold take over you, all the way up to your mind as you rest content with Eddie's head in your hands for a few minutes. Both of you sulk at the all too soon retraction of your hands, after rinsing your hands you let them trail from his shoulders as he stands up, you smack his ass playfully before he turns to face you. Just as he opens his mouth to give a snarky remark you beat him to the punches, “How, how are you still hard? All I did was wash your hair!” you gesture your hands toward the near 8 inches which keeps the two of you apart, he shrugs happily as he washes the product out of his hair. “I’ll give you three guesses” he smirks down at you.

In retaliation you spin around and back up into him, forcing him against the shower wall and in turn you under the water “Hey, wha-”, “Need to get the conditioner out” you shrug as you let the mixture of cream and water run down his front. “Not fair” he fakes a pout as he wraps his arms around you “Can you at least move?” without his hands ever leaving you, the two of you shuffle around and switch places.

He’s trying so hard, he really is, but he can't stop himself from pressing up against you and slotting himself between the globes of your ass. Even though his dirty mind was being painstakingly presented to you he still wanted to respect your obvious hinting at no sex. But as he feels himself surrounded by your wet skin he can't help the moan that slips from the back of his throat.

You sigh and turn in his hold once your hair is clean “Do you want me to suck your dick? Is that what this is?” there's a hint of annoyance painted across your features as he looks down at you “What? No! I just, I dunno’, babe you're naked, its extremely difficult to practise self restraint right now” you stare up at him expectantly “We don't have to do anything just let me feel you” the shrug he gives up doesn't portray any sort of casualness as his face pleads with you.

“Fine” you grin and point a finger at him “But when you're actually on your knees, begging, I will be giving you an ‘I told you so’” he sticks his tongue out in retaliation with a “Try me” murmured through a smirk. “You really wanna go down that road?” you raise your eyebrows, feeling smug as Eddie makes a face of nonchalance “Alright, no sex and no touching and I’ll give you 20 bucks” you wait expectantly until Eddie pulls away from you, hand held out in offering “Heh deal” and you shake on it.

“Now you just stand there and look pretty so I can get on with my shower” you hide a sneaky smirk as you turn and pull the body wash from the bag, face neutral as you turn again with a handful of soapy liquid. Eddie's smug face falls way too fast as he watches you transition from lathering it onto your arms to smoothing your hands over the swell of your tits.

You grin evilly at him but it goes unbeknownst to him as his eyes are trained on the way your plump flesh moves rhythmically with your hands. “Giving me my 20 bucks yet?” you tease as you hold your tits up, bouncing them slightly against each other. Eddie shakes his head as if snapping himself out of his trance and manages to meet your gaze “Never” he whispers with narrowed eyes. You shrug and continue your way down your torso.

You know you have him when you turn around, spreading your legs wide and bending down to work your way up your calves. The muffled squeak you hear from behind as Eddie is met by your pussy on full display furthers your knowledge of winning this little impromptu contest, but when you hear a sharp intake of breath and the sound of feet pattering once, twice, away from you, you begin to falter, maybe he’s stronger than you anticipated.

You stand up annoyed and quickly spin around, met by Eddies guilty looking face and a hand ripping away from his dick you groan mildly “I said no touching, that includes yourself”, “I wasn't!” he quickly jumps to offence “You're a shit liar babe” you laugh, “Fine, you get your $20, now can I please touch you” he holds his hands together as he begs. “Hmm, well I am finished with my shower..” Eddie beams, “But I do need to brush my teeth” you pretend to wonder as his smile falters.

“If you can wash yourself at the same time.. Fine” his smile shines brighter than the one before it “But you only have so much time, the waters already getting cold and I wanna’ go to bed warm” before you can even say anything else you're being flipped around and bent over by two strong hands at your hips and back. You only just manage to brace yourself on the wall before you feel the head of his cock pressing at your hole, the whine that rings throughout the room resembles one of a bratty teenager as he slips inside all the way to the hilt.

As he arches his back in strain all you can feel is his hips against yours and his cock buried deep within your walls until he lets out a heavy breath above you and his forehead rests between your shoulder blades. “Did you.. Did you just cum?” you laugh breathlessly, “No” it's an annoyed grumble against your skin “Oh my god! You totally did!” you eyes widen as you twist your neck to find a wet mop of curls splayed across your skin “How?!” he shamefully admits that the scalp massage and press of your tits against the back of his head may have been a little too much for him, and that he may or may not have slipped up for a couple of minutes.

You slap a hand to your mouth as you roar with laughter, still echoing within the four walls as Eddie slips out of you and you turn around, “Shame, I was looking forward to a good showerfuck” you tut but break out into a sympathetic grin as you realise he’s properly ashamed of himself, with a hand cupping his cheek you reassure him “Baby it's ok” when his face contorts into a pained one you tell him “Seriously baby it's ok, happens to the best of us” he rolls his eyes at you.

You press a kiss to his lips and then to his forehead before you tell him to switch places with you so you can do the bodywash. His shame melts away as your hands slide over his inked skin, smooth fingers running over the anatomical angel, wings spreading far over his shoulder blades, its feet resting over a series of tattooed vertebra that runs down his own spine.

After what must have been half an hour shower the both of you tiptoe across the floorboards in your towels, quickly changing into fresh underwear and wrap yourselves up with each other after you've dropped a t-shirt on to the floor next to your side of the bed for tomorrow morning. Just as any other night you’re back in his heavy arms, that alone would be enough to make the daze of sleep take over you but it seems it's not enough. You feel as Eddie drifts off into dreamland behind you, his breathing evens out into soft puffs of air and his arms loosen their tight grip around you.

20 minutes after initially getting into bed you snap your eyes open, stifling a groan of annoyance as you pinch your eyes shut in frustration. The air in the room was humid and stifling, Eddie's arms suddenly felt like they were suffocating you despite them only resting gently around your waist, the comforter only adds to the pressure and within seconds you start to feel like you're being smothered. Technically you could try harder at falling asleep, you could push Eddie off you, kick the blankets away and crack a window but once your eyes focus on your leather handbag leaned up against the wall it's over for you. You slowly slip out of bed, extremely cautious of your husband's sleeping form surrounding you. You throw the shirt over your head and begin your search for the pack of cigarettes hidden at the bottom.

The soft whine that leaves Eddies throat has your movements halting, bent over in a strain you slowly turn your head to find Eddie rolling onto his back, when it seems he's fallen back asleep you resume your desperate search, a relieved sigh whispers throughout the room as you finally find what you're looking for. When you open it you find that the usual AC/DC lighter shoved between the rolled up papers is gone, you roll your eyes. Before you get the chance to root through your bag further you catch a glimpse of Eddie's zippo in the jumbled mess that was the contents of his pockets poured onto his bedside table.

Making an effort to be as quiet as possible you make your way around the bed, just as you level with his knees you stop dead in your tracks, another whine echoes in the room, this time frustrated as Eddie turns back on his side and blindly starts patting his hand around your vacant spot. In his sleep filled haze he seems to register your absence because his eyes snap open as his head forces back to examine the empty mattress. The sound of a floorboard creek makes him whip around to face you, he frowns. You can't help but smile as you examine his face, he’s cast in darkness but you can still make out the shape of his furrowed brows above half lidded eyes, predominantly black irises peeking through under his long lashes, his soft laugh lines, etching deeper with each year that passes, a tug of his full pink lips, pursing them as the corners pull down slightly. Your smile turns embarrassed as he sits up “What are you doing?” his voice is laced with sleep, a deep throaty husk as he presses a knuckle to his eyes.

“Was just going for a smoke, go back to sleep” you whisper, arriving at your destination and pulling his lighter from a tangle of childish hair bobbles, loose change and a deteriorating pack of gum. “Mm mm” he shakes his head “I’ll come with you” before you get a chance to protest he's already pushing the comforter off of him and setting his feet to the floor with a groan.

Without another word uttered into the silence of the night his hand finds yours and leads you out the door, quietly down the other end of the hall across from you and out onto the balcony. It seems the night air has a positive effect on the both of you, you immediately feel your hot skin cool down as the cold rushes to Eddie's own skin, waking him up. He adjusts his eyes and finds one lonely chair on the old wood, he pats his thigh once he's sat down, gesturing you over.

You hold the small flame up to Eddie's awaiting cigarette perched between his lips, watching as the rusty colour of orange and red lights up within the tobacco. Eddie's arm wraps around you once again after you tossed both the carton and zippo onto the floor. The cool night breeze brushes against your legs while the scent of smoke, chia shampoo and conditioner, tangerine body wash, a fading old spice and redwood and a musk you could only describe as uniquely Eddie fills your senses.

You allow yourself to soak up the moment, relaxed in Eddie's lap, a strong arm enveloping your waist, deep blues painting the sky, purely and simply at ease. “I think we should talk” his words break the comfortable silence, your neck stretches to look up at him, head resting on his shoulder “About what?” the softness of his voice eases any worry that most definitely could have bubbled up in your stomach if his tone had been any different when speaking those five words.

“Sweetheart, I know you have a hard time telling me how you feel about things, but I think it's important you try. I had no idea what you were going through, I still don't. But I feel like it's something I should be made aware of, you know? We need to be able to tell each other things so that we’re on the same wavelength.” you turn your eyes up to the sky as you sigh at his words.

This was going to be difficult. Throughout your whole childhood you had been told time and time again that showing any trace of feelings was a definite sign of weakness. Even the fact of registering your feelings as not only feelings but allowed, permitted, was something you were partly deeply uncomfortable with and something that was scarcely new to you. Untread territory. A deep breath reaches Eddie's ears as you prepare for the unpreventable fate.

“She died” you barely manage a whisper as you confess to the incident which happened months ago. The words tasted sour on your tongue, bitter, you hadn't spoken those words to anyone, saying them now made you shudder. “What?” he's having trouble wrapping his head around what you've just said, “My mom.. she died, uh december 18th” both cigarettes left forgotten you find yourself tearing up. The stupid emotions showing your vulnerability only fuels anger, a bead of salty fluid drops down your cheek, you wipe it away in frustration. Why were you even crying? Crying about a mean old drug addict who had abused you all your life, verbally, physically, emotionally. Why were you shedding tears for the woman who kicked you out at 16 after losing your job at the gas station, the job that paid for the trailer you never bared to call a home, the job that paid the bills, the food, the dangerous toxins which she put into her body.

The woman your own kids believed to have passed away in your early childhood, the woman who you insisted on shielding them from. The same woman who broke down every single part of you until she left you to fend for yourself, to build yourself back up, bit by bit, piece by piece, day by day.

“She.. she died?” his hot breath fans across your cheek as he nuzzles his face to the side of yours “Why didn't you tell me?” his words are muffled as his lips ghost over your skin. For once in your life you feel yourself let go, if only a miniscule fraction of what normalcy is, you let yourself experience your feelings, with one single hiccup. “I don't know” the sadness in your voice makes his heart break, but still you refuse to let it tremble. “I just, I didn't know how to feel, what to think, I needed time to figure it out” your eyes flutter shut as you manoeuvre your face into the crook of his neck, stubbing your cigarette out on the wall behind him and dropping it to the floor.

Eddie copies your movements and rests his cheek to the side of your head, he stays silent as he waits for you to continue, “I knew logistically people are sad when their parent dies, but it just made my head spin, I didn't feel sad, I couldn't, not for her.” your voice vibrates against his throat as you speak.

Eddie knew the two largest reasons as to why you couldn't feel sad, she didn't deserve it, and you simply weren't able to access those emotions. You found some comfort in his awareness, had you been forced to explain everything in intimate detail you would only feel worse. “And the kids didn't know so I couldn't just go around moping so I guess I just… distracted myself?” he knew the reason as to why for that too, endless thoughts swirled around his head as he managed to come to the conclusion that you had been lost, you probably still were. So confused as to how or why you were feeling the way you did, refusing to address the issue head on and finding any way to cope.

Your hours spent in silence -at home, at work, at any activity you could find and drag out the time with, at events, hanging with all your friends, dinners at Wayne’s- had closed you off, in the moment it may have worked but a nagging thought at the back of his mind told him it didn't. Not for you, not for him, not for the girls. So many thoughts threatened to make his head explode, and in the mix of it was roaring guilt. Guilt from not taking a second to ask how you were, guilt for not realising there was something deeper nestled below the surface, guilt for not only the idea he constantly convinced himself was untrue but actually accusing you of cheating, guilt for selfishly missing you in all ways possible and guilt for only focusing on that.

“I’m so sorry” unlike yours his voice shook as he spoke, arms wrapping tighter around you in agony. “Why? You don't have to be sorry” he couldn't see the confused frown spread over your face, but it was there. You simply couldn't wrap your head around why a whole other human being was feeling sorry or even affected by your problems. “I-I didn't do anything, or-or say anything, you were clearly struggling and I never knew, I wasn’t there for you” his own water lines began to flood, just as you had he distracted himself, by running a hand up and down your arm. “I didn't do or say anything” you admit, “I should have told you, I just, I was worried, that you would have.. expectations from me, how I would feel, act. Not only that but I think there was just this gnawing thought that you would think there was something wrong, with me, if I didn't do the normal thing and grieve” his hand was now soothing up and down over your hair.

“Baby, look at me” his hands pulled lightly at your shoulders, gesturing you to turn and straddle him, face to face. “She has never earned the right to your grief” his thumb swiped under your eye as you let out a sob and a hot searing tear rolled down, “She never did a single thing to earn even a glance from you” as your eyes closed tight he continued, “What you did was normal. It was normal for you, there's nothing wrong with not knowing how to go through some things in life, and there's nothing abnormal with trying to process it in your own way” your shoulders threatened to collapse against him but he held on softly to one as he cupped your cheek. “You just need to remember that I'm always here for you, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you, or expect anything from you.”

For the very first time, you actually sat down and accepted your feelings, you accepted them, talked about them and learned to understand them, all thanks to the one person you had shut yourself away from the most. For over an hour you talked, both showing and explaining the raw emotions you found within yourself. By the second hour you walked through the details of what had gone down and at the end you felt a weight lift from your chest as well as some understanding for yourself. A promise was made, to not only communicate with him but also to learn how to access and express what was going on in your head, in therapy. Something that initially seemed so frightening but was slowly dampened with another promise, that Eddie would come with you if you needed him.

Your mother, or rather the woman who had birthed you but failed to raise you, had been forcefully put in rehab years ago. An expensive resort, you found yourself still keeping her afloat with your hard earned money as you sent in monthly payments. An old ‘friend’ had shown up and before the personnel had a chance to alert you to it, she had escaped. Run off with her friend to, what was probably her opinion, be free. Once some hours had passed they had tried calling you, too busy slaving away for your promotion at work you had missed every single one. When they finally got hold of you, the soft pitiful voice on the other end of the line explained to you how she had been found, collapsed only a yard from the abandoned house occupied by the homeless, with no pulse.

It was bound to happen, but just because it was destiny that you would come from a broken home didn't mean you yourself had to be broken. An absent father who had bolted the second the pregnancy had been announced to him, and a mother who for 16 years had constantly reminded you of how unwelcome you were in her life. Even up till your thirties where she would filter in and out of your life unwanted. You had kept the secret from your friends and boyfriend for three months, living under the bridge by the docks with only the clothes on your back and a few newspapers you found. You had lied to your friends and explained that your mother had donated all your clothes as punishment for coming home after curfew, a curfew you didn't have and probably wouldn't have been cared about if you did. For 2 months and 3 weeks you lived off a duffle bag of Eddies band shirts and sweatpants. It was bearable, the life you had at the time, even with the thunder storms and hammering rain, but by peak december when the cold was at its worst you realised that wearing multiple layers wouldn't cut it and shamefully knocked on Eddie's door, asking for a place to stay.

Wayne had become the father and mother you never had, and you would spend your entire lifetime trying to pay him back, but nothing could ever come close to the love he showered you with, the money he spent, the food, clothes, shelter he gave you.

The time showed 1:26 am when you finally made it back to your room, the cold biting at your skin forgotten until the warm duvet swallowed you whole, a reminder of how extremely cold you were. Wrapped in Eddie's arms, cheek pressed to his chest, you soon fell asleep, no longer sad or gloomy, but tired and happy, every vine in your body glittering with fierce gold. “I love you” the soft whisper from below him made him realise that the words accompanied by your voice were strange to his ears. He hadn't realised it at the time but you had stopped saying those words to him in what must have been mid spring. Tears pricked at his eyes again as he beamed “I love you too”

(A/N was thinking of leaving it here but I know we’re all horny fucks here so OBVIOUSLY I have to continue)

You awoke with a light, happy heart, and just like every other fucking morning, as the little spoon again. Instead of calling them in you pulled yourself out of bed and answered the knock at the door, wrapping your girls up in a warm hug before they had a chance to whiz past you to their clothes. It might have been that you were content with the duration of the hug but it was more probably the fact that both girls were wining and squirming trying to get away from you when they felt they'd been pressed together for too long that you broke apart. You chuckled as you let them go and climbed back into bed, Eddie was still fast asleep, it seemed the giggling voices of two happy little girls weren't enough to wake him from his slumber.

Although he seemed not to be fully passed out when you shimmied back down the covers once the girls had left, because he hummed happily, and automatically wrapped around you in a warm embrace. After a while he fell back asleep, arms clutching you close to his chest in contentment, his nose buried in the scent of your hair. You began to grin when you felt something familiar poking at your behind, Eddie's morning wood was appearing just as the sun began to rise. Jitters built throughout your body at the sensation, you were no doubt used to waking up just like this, even during your rough patch, but for maybe the first time since the early stages of your relationship, it wasn't just funny and exciting but thrilling. The feeling of Eddie's slowly hardening cock pressing up against you sent tingles up your legs, awakening butterflies that situated in the bottom of your stomach.

He must have been wavering between being half asleep and fully judging by the fact that he groaned loudly as you wiggled your hips to situate him between your ass cheeks. The groan spurred you on and you forced your hips against his, earning a tighter hug to hold you infinitely closer to him. Your grin widened when he let out a second groan as you forced yourself back again, one final time had his eyes fluttering open and his hand snaking up under your shirt to squeeze softly at your boob. “Morning” your voice was soft to his ears since it came out in a whisper.

For the first morning in a while the deep raspy “Morning beautiful” had your thighs clenching. Maybe you should talk about your feelings if it made you feel this connected to Eddie and especially this desperate for him. “Love the sound of your voice in the mornings” you chose to push the feeling of spewing random and intimate -to you- thoughts, right down. Forcing them out of sight and allowing you to properly express yourself, even though it may have been an admittedly mild statement. The action, telling him exactly what you were thinking. “Mm you do?” he hummed behind you to which you nodded, hair brushing up and down against his nose. The grin you were fighting off made you once again feel like a teenager, talking to your crush… Holy shit were you flustered?

“Maybe I should talk like this more often” he was slowly waking up now, slight hints of clarity lacing his voice as he stirred behind you, “You really should” your cheeks were heating up now, Jesus Christ you hadn't felt like this since you were an actual teenager, talking to the same man, at that time a boy. “Mm it doing it for you?” he hummed, despite the obvious comic tone in his words the sound sent fiery lightning straight through your body as you let out a stifled girly giggle “It really is”.

You felt yourself swoon as his hips pressed against yours, a pleased hum followed from his lips as you took a deep breath to centre yourself. “Fuck, you don’t know how good this feels” had the ruckus downstairs from all the kids and newly awoken parents been closer the words would have fallen on deaf ears for it was all but a whisper, a mumble from soft plush lips grazing your scalp. All you could do in response was hum, the feeling of Eddie's thick fingers massaging the soft skin of your breast, catching your nipple between them and near searingly hot skin pressed flat against your back along with his throbbing cock grinding against you left you speechless.

The tingles fluttering throughout your body were only growing more violent when Eddie let out a long groan of relief, the pent up frustration echoing through the room as strong arms held you even closer to him. Eventually, it got too much to bare, as soft whimpers began to escape your lips, matching up perfectly to the near obnoxious groans the man behind you was making, you slid your hand from under your cheek to slightly aggressively grab onto the hand massaging your boob, leading it down your front till his fingertips nudged the hem of your brazilians.

Immediately he got the hint and carefully slunk his fingers under the offensive undergarment and soon enough callused fingers were running lazily up from your hole to your clit, collecting you slick and rubbing slow circles into the nub he since long ago had no trouble finding. A needy moan broke from your throat and you were quick to cover your mouth by turning your head and smooshing your bare face into the worn fabric of the pillow beneath you. Your now free hand slunk up behind you to grasp on firmly at the roots of Eddie's curls. His own display of arousal rang through the room before he followed your lead and buried his face further into your hair.

“Shit, fuck, babe, need- need to be” his voice broke off before he had a chance to fully voice his request, your hand was already pulling at the hem of his boxers, prompting him to wriggle awkwardly while his hand was still attached to you. Within seconds your back was arched, your thigh was lifted into the air and your panties moved to the side as a small hand wrapped around his base, leading him to the opening of where you needed him most. The both of you synchronised in desperate whimpers as he sheathed inside you and bottomed out, once he was fully seated you took a deep breath to steady yourself before laying your leg back down.

The added pressure of your thighs squeezing together causing for a delightful sensation as your pussy pulsed around him. Not before long he was rocking into you, matching the slow rhythm of his fingers.

This, this was utter and complete bliss. A lazy morning with your lover, early morning sun filtering through the thin flower curtains, the rambunctious sound of happy children only to be heard as white noise, heavy strained breaths pleasing your ears, warm skin on warm skin, wrapped up in soft colourful sheets with Eddie slowly thrusting in to you. Yeah this was the best fucking feeling.

Soon enough the faint thuds against the very depths of your pussy became repetitive, each pause of Eddie pulling back and thrusting back in shorter when his hips sped up. With each passing second you realised that the thickness of the plush pillow wasn't enough to muffle your moans, the lone hand resting under your cheek came up to plaster over your mouth, forcing it hard against the chubbiness of your cheeks. Once again Eddie was on the same page as you, with his mind and body quickly awakening, the arm squished between the mattress and your body ripped quickly out from under you, a clenched fist coming up to his lips as he bit down hard onto the skin.

Each thrust was growing faster and faster, deeper and deeper, harder and harder, and in turn the slow circles on your clit, matching the pace of his hips with the added pressure increasing. “Fuck babe, roll over” with the help of his body forcing you in the right direction you rolled onto your stomach, a frustrated whine leaving your lips at the loss of Eddies fingers harshly pressing into your clit before you had the chance to cover your mouth again.

Your whine was left discarded as Eddie manoeuvred himself on top of you, his thighs straddling the backs of yours, his left hand slipping under your armpit and lacing his fingers with your own right hand. Before you knew it, plush lips were kissing repeatedly up and down your right shoulder and up the side of your neck. Just as he began thrusting again his free hand planted a deathgrip on your hip, callused tips of his fingers pressing harshly into your skin, no doubt leaving a bruise.

Your left hand found its place splayed across your mouth once again just as the thrusts became hard and evenly spaced. “Fuck feel so good baby, fuckin’ -shit” his breath fanned against your ear, a mewl from the back of your throat only spurring him on. “Fuckin’ love these curves, you’re so sexy” you had long since passed the point where you’d flush with embarrassment at the compliments showered upon you about your body, instead his words had the intended effect, muffled moans became much less muffled, the volume breaking through the barrier of your hand. “Fuck princess you gotta be quiet, think you can do that for me?” you most definitely couldn't, but you sure as hell would try. The deep husky voice whispering against you skin as he kissed it, knuckles gripping tightly onto your own, hand holding firmly onto the meat of your hip and his dick thundering in and out of you overtook all senses, all you wanted to do right now was worship this man who made you feel so Mother. Fucking. Good. So yes, you sure as fucking hell would try.

“Good girl” you could feel the smug smirk against the slope of your neck at your eager nod, could hear it in his voice, knew he was just filling up with pride at the feeling of your whole body tensing with the force of not letting out the excruciatingly loud moan you were so desperate to set free. “So good for me, takin’ me -fuck- so well, oh fuck holy shit” despite how badly he wanted to shower you in endless praise he couldn’t help the endless string of swares as he felt your pussy clamp down around him at his words.

“Fuck fuck fuck, oh shit, oh my fucking god” his neck went slack as his forehead landed on your shoulder with a thud, hips working faster than ever at the feeling of your pulsing around him, intensified with the hard incessant squeeze. You couldn't pass it up, you just couldn't, you knew exactly what to do to get him riled up, despite his whole body working in overdrive you wanted, no, needed to know what would happen if he was pushed just a little further towards his limits. Throughout heavy pants once your hand was lifted only slightly from your lips you managed to get out the words “Seems hmmghf seems you’re enjoying this more than me right now” a smirk slowly spread across your lips.

“You sure about that sweetheart?” his voice was strained as he spoke and it only made the tingling between your thighs strengthen. “Yeah” you breathed, “I don't know about you, but with time things get… old”

“Old huh?”

“Boring” with every ounce of power you had in your body you managed to even your voice in a smooth breath, unnamused and bored. “You can't please me anymore. It's the same old dance every time. It gets boring”

“Oh I can't please you anymore?”

“Not in the slightest. Judging by this maybe I should go find another man, someone who knows what he’s doing. Someone new, exciting, better.” before your grin had a chance to widen at his “Oh you fucking-” a strong hand gripped tightly onto your roots and you were yanked up to a sitting position.

He pulled the flimsy t-shirt your thrown on earlier over your head before the hand holding yours found your hip in no time, leaving identical bruising on your other hip while the tension in your scalp quickly soothed as his other hand no longer gentle forced itself under your panties, diving straight for your clit to circle it fast and harsh. “Oh yeah? That's how we're gonna do this?” with the upper hand, amusement sounded in his voice between the heavy pants he was releasing. But the fact that both your legs were pressed together betweens his was not working in his favour. He wanted so badly to just let loose and scream at the feeling of your thighs tightening you around him but he was trying his hardest never to let the pants transition into deep groans or even loud moans. As he waited for your answer his hand smoothed up your side to plant a firm grasp on your left boob, “Y-yeah” how it was even possible you were even more worked up than he was, your pants faster and louder, threatening to echo deafeningly throughout the room and reach unexpecting and innocent ears.

Just knowing there were people around who could hear you if you dared raise your voice, who could catch you made it all the more exhilarating.

Your head lolled onto his shoulder with your eyes closed and mouth open in a mute scream as your body moved up and down with each push of his hips, in sync with the low squeaks of the old bed frame. “Yeah you wanna be in charge? Go ahead sweetheart” the smug and evil laugh vibrated through his chest at the sound of your pathetic whine in protest “You sure?” the mocking tone only made you squeeze harder around him. The squeaking increased as Eddie breathed, “Fuck” had it not been for the fact that you were almost completely silent you wouldn’t have heard it, but you did and it flipped a switch inside you. Even though you were clearly the whining mess at the hands of your husband, you did in fact have the upper hand despite his insistence that you didn't.

It had most definitely been a while, but you decided you most definitely wanted to push him to his limits, you wanted to see him angry. With some extreme power you didn't know you withheld you managed to clear your head from all the sensations and purely focus on speaking, knowing you would be rewarded by it soon enough. “You act so tough” the near clear tone of your words caught him off guard, “You give off this idea that you're all big and strong. But you're all bark. No bite” you slowly opened your eyes to watch him out of the corner of them, “What did you just say to me?” fury began to swim in his eyes as his jaw twitched with the tightness of the grit of his teeth.

“You heard me.” a loud exhale managed to escape your lips but you forced yourself to reel back in your head and stay focused on your mission, “Everybody thinks you're this mean, inked up, scary metalhead who could crush anyone into a pulp within the matter of seconds, but on the contrary you're just a mushy wuss who plays dress up, watches cartoons and likes baking every sunday with his wife” ok maybe the jab at him playing princesses with the kids might have been a little harsh, but it was no doubt working.

For a moment, it left him speechless. His hips were still working furiously but his grip on your chest slackened. Even before the dry spell it was on rare occasions where you were this mean, this assertive. It threw him right off course.

He managed to regain his mental footing however, “Who the fuck do you think you are right now?” the grin spreading on your delicate features only fueled his anger, “I’m the woman whose body you've worshipped and will continue to worship until the day you die. I’m the woman, the only woman who can get you on your knees, begging, whining for you to touch me” hmm, might have been the wrong direction, judging by the fact that he too was now grinning. The squeaking only increasing with each passing second.

Dammit, you had to rethink your tactics. His hand found your hip again as he watched your tits bounce with amusement. Before you had the chance to even mull over how to play this next his words cut you off, “I know you like to think you're the one who calls the shots sweethea-” “Shut up” he frowns at you as he instantly shuts his mouth in sheer shock. “I am the one who calls the shots, just the other day you were whining and whimpering like a pathetic little baby and I hadn't even touched you” now that seemed to be working. His confused frown shifted into one of anger again, “And I don't think I even need to remind you how you got all hard and needy from just the prospect of getting to see me naked, let alone shower with me”

It was definitely working when an angry twitch of his lips graced your presence, each word blowing oxygen into the bottom of the slow burning fire rumbling in his stomach. “I don't think I need to remind you this either, but I will” you sat up now, his cock still working its way in and out of you, still proving how desperate he was, twisting your neck to face him you forced a sneer “-you came within two seconds of slipping inside me” hot fury glared at you from once almond brown soft eyes, now black with a stare unwavering. “Pathetic” you landed the final punch with a scoff.

“Get off me” the hands once gripping you with need and desperation now held onto you with pure rage, manhandling you to slip off him and almost collapsing onto the ground. Shit, did you take it too far? Did you read the signs wrong? Was he actually not into it? Worry glossed your eyes over as you watched him stand up. “I’m sor-” you tried to apologise as you found your balance “Shut. The. Fuck. Up” without warning he was in front of you, pushing you at your shoulders to bounce onto the bed. With harsh movements he brought you to the edge of the bed, forcing your thighs up.

He looked you dead in the eye as he said the words “Not so tough now are we?” and then he broke into a wide smug smirk, soaking up every inch of your shocked face. “Wha..?” you breathed, a breath that quickly turned into an even more shocked, gasp. Without any caution or warning whatsoever he ripped the soft, expensive polyester lace that lay delicately over your stomach. Within a second he ripped the other side, his fingers finding the discarded -now backpiece- easily, pulling it out from under you and tossing it towards his nightstand.

“Those were expensive!” you chastised him but all he did was smirk even wider. Despite his previous manhandling and legit throwing you around the touch of the tip of his cock running through your folds was soft, gentle. The sensation made you shiver as you felt it brush over your clit before returning back down again and repeating the process as he spoke. “That's the thing sweetheart, you act like a brat and you get treated like one” his words were laced with malice before the loud moan you let out had Eddies eyes shifting to the door, just out of view of his peripheral before zoning back in on you. Watching smugly at the once again evident shock on your face after he had just pushed himself into the hilt. The head of his cock brushing dangerously at your cervix from the force he was putting at his hips to get as deep as possible.

The tut he let out at your reaction only made anger bubble up within yourself too, “Tsk tsk, thought you could be quiet” this time your sneer was 100% real, “Not when you just force yourself inside me with no fucking warning” your backtalk only made him more angry. He retaliated with another hard snap of his hips against you, this time you were ready, biting so hard into your bottom lip you were sure you would soon enough be drawing blood but it didn't matter, he wasn't going to win, maybe before but not now.

His knees were beginning to ache from the awkward bend he was in to reach you on the bed, being tall seemed it didn't always come with its perks but- “Wanna see your face when you cum for me. See you fall apart for the only man who can make you beg and whine, like a pathetic. Little. Baby.” He threw your words right back in your face just before he began a furious pace of his hips, same if not more furious than when had last been inside you a minute ago. You thanked whoever made that stupid old bed for it at least not squeaking when moved the other way.

His cock stretching you out at the new angle, the head of his cock hitting that stupid ‘danger zone’ was now sending you careening towards a fast and undoubtedly strong orgasm. Damn him. Not only that but you found as you bit down harder you did in fact manage to draw blood. “Yeah that's it” his smirk was still shining brightly on his soft and once kind features. The right hand that had been situated on your hip moved up to grab onto your tit once again while he watched the other one bouncing up and down. If the sound of the rest of the house had registered to him before it definitely wasn't now. Now all he could focus on was the way every part of your body bounced with each thrust, had it been under any other circumstance he most definitely would have praised you endlessly on how he loved the bounce of your tits, your soft stomach, your thighs, but right now it didn't even cross his mind to voice his opinions on it. The fiery anger grew more threatening at your next words “Piece of shit” you gritted out, the metallic taste of your blood sour in your mouth “Fucking pervert, bet you just love watching me like this, at your mercy or whatever” you scoffed, “Is it giving you your ego boost?”

The hard slap landed at your cheek had you gasping but not regretting your words, no, far from it. This was exactly what you wanted, you had a feeling treating and being treated rough was something very much needed for the both of you. All sorts of built up feelings being released in a strange form of love rather than distance or petty arguments. This was much better, not only in the absolutely earth shattering way his cock was pistoning into you and every other sensation of this moment but the fact that it could be channelled into complete euphoria for the both of you and not hurt feelings.

Strong fingers wrapped around your throat as he responded “Such a fucking slut, let anyone else do this to you? ‘Cause you seem to be taking this very easy” you rolled your eyes at him “Obviously not. Jesus christ I really regret marrying someone so fucking dense” pressure was added to your throat as another hand left your hip, fingers splayed over the soft pudge of your stomach as his thumb connected to your clit.

If there had been any slight worry that he might actually be angry it would have dissipated the second his skin came in contact with your own slick one. “Hah! No you don't. You and I both know no one could treat you this good” he began to sense the loss of air you were experiencing and drew his hand up to your face, fingers resting at the back of your throat while his thumb sat just in front of your ear. “Drop anything to be at your aid, treat you like a goddamn goddess. No one could ever love you like I do.”

And there it was, love. His anger was beginning to melt, he’d gotten everything out and now all he could look at you with was adoration. “No one could ever love me like you do” you confirmed, a soft smile only hinting at your lips as you stared up at him. In less than a second his hand below your navel disappeared and was found slinking under your back, lowering himself down to capture your lips in a deep passionate kiss. One hand circled under his arm to grasp onto his shoulder blade as the other ran through his hair. Multiple long kisses venturing between soft and hard were shared as well as breathy I love yous’s before you whispered a breathless and whiny “I’m gonna cum” Eddie breathed a heavy sigh of relief “Oh thank god” and soon enough the orgasm you had been teetering over the edge of for a long time came crashing down on you, biting into Eddies shoulder to suppress a loud moan as he led one final thrust before hot spurts of cum painted your walls.

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campbyler · 2 months

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mmm what the fuck?

how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?

thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.

i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.

anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.

driving lesson.

don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.

to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.

and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)

i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.

*two weeks later*

also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.

and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!

are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.

ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.

i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.

and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)

THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).

and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).

the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!

i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).

the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.

he likes him!!!

i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”

and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!

i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!

“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔

(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)

this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!

thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).

love u. thank u for reading all this rambling

mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)

you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .

i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄

malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3

the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.

LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.

the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!

your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄

tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333

#asks #ch09 #acswy spoilers #fave

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kiirotoao · 6 days

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I really didn't like season3 mostly because Mileven spoiled things for me and my love for Byler. It was a 180 from season2. But the bigger my Byler love grows the more I appreciate Mileven and their feelings for each other. It's like I feel so secure in my boys that every sweet Mileven scene makes me happy. They really have gone through a lot together and it doesn't threaten my Byler ship!

After watching the van scene AGAIN it's obvious that Will is lying about the painting talking about himself and using El. However, for a moment I wondered if El would agree with anything Will was saying about her. It's sad to think both Will and El could feel similar yet they have different experiences/identities. I really feel for them all!

I have a theory that Will and El are connected in a much deeper way than we even realize, possibly before S1. (she did recognize his photo)

hhhhmmmm

Ok ok so HI anon, pardon this being a little late!! Ya gave me a nice meal to work through 😂🩷

SO - first and foremost, I love how you put that about Mleven. I completely agree and I feel pretty secure talking about them, too, and what makes them cute because I don’t even feel threatened or unconfident about how I view them, too. I really, truly believe that they have so much going for them because they love each other and have traits that magnetize them to each other, but seasons 3 and 4 really proved to me that they simply aren’t working romantically. But otherwise, give me more of them hanging out! I’d love to see them build healthier and stronger communication! That’s all that fails them, which is a pretty major point, but it doesn’t make any of their sweetness void.

I think that El would probably agree with the things that Will says, but she probably wouldn’t come up with it on her own, kinda like Mike is implied to have gleaned off of Will’s monologue. I think that what’s tricky now is that Will’s feelings have been revealed in all their depths for the audience to see, and so we know that any other declaration of love from Mike or El would need to top that, and… I just don’t think that anything ever will. Mike and El already put each other before worlds and they still don’t really have the chemistry in my eyes.

But again, it is sweet to consider how Will’s love might play into Mike and El’s emotions, too. I think that there’s going to be a lot of shock, maybe even embarrassment, but it could be really beautiful for all three of them to realize how their loves for each other truly go around.

And as for Will and El’s connection - I had to ponder that for a really long time because I was thinking, wait a minute, yeah - El recognized Will before she even saw him. How did that happen? And I think that maybe she saw him like Will saw d’Art in flashes and so El probably heard him singing or crying (which GHFJFHFHF MY HEART HURTS) in the Upside Down, even when she clearly wasn’t in the Upside Down anymore by season 1. But I really don’t know!!

I’m still hanging onto being a Will-has-powers-truther. I think that he might be Kas and be the key to defeating Vecna and/or Soteria is going to make a comeback for some device or reason. But I have no clue. 👀

#byler #asks my beloved <3 #byler analysis #stranger things 5 #oo wait a minute this made me think about the Kas theory again…#Lord please protect Mike

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krunktrunk · 8 months

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BYLER CONFESSION RANT!!

this isn't a theory, I just really want this to happen..

ok, so imagine they have already confessed, I'm not talking about the initial confession in this. they say I like you more than a friend blah blah blah.

but they don't say I love you. yet.

i don't want this to happen at the end of any big battle, let me set the scene.

they are either in Mike's basement or Wills new bedroom (i have a big feeling the byers will move back to hawkins) and they are just existing together. maybe lying side by side reading a comic together, or maybe Wills painting and Mike's reading but actually watching him. it's quiet and Will notices the staring and neither of them are saying anything until Will pipes up and says. "I love you too" just quietly, with a smile. and Mike just smiles back with a slightly confused expression because Will said too at the end of it. "I didn't say it" and Will will just smile more, turn back to what he was doing and say, "you didn't have to"

why is this perfect??? because of like so many reasons!!!

not only would this be a parallel to when Mike said to Will "you didn't have to" when referring to Mike being an asshole. it's a very soft scene and there's clear flirting and it's just- we got so many beautiful byler scenes in s4 omg-

also, it would be a contrast to Mike saying it about El. he said it In a moment of distress and when everyone was around, and I personally think he was meaning that he loves her, not that he's in love with her. and then when he says it to her face, he's only saying it because he's being pushed to by people around him, and he's stressed and she might die. and he thinks it's what she wants to hear, which is partially true, and partially not.

it would also show Will being stronger and braver and accepting what he's getting, knowing that he deserves it. Mike hasn't Said it but he knows that Mike does, and instead of trying to act like he must not and he's making things up, he allows it, and accepts it as the truth and as something he deserves. he deserves to be in love and to be loved, him saying it first is to some degree, putting himself first and he's gonna start doing that more.

anyways yeah. actually my first fic has this kind of idea in it except it's at the end of a fight, which I think would be emotional but I just want it to be something that's theirs. so that's what I want to happen! 👍

#byler #stranger things #lgbtq #will byers #mike wheeler #theory?#please happen in season 5 #season 5 #i love them #byler nation #byler endgame #byler is canon #byler confessions

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mike-wheeler-faggotry · 1 year

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Ok so there's a theme with bad mothers in stranger things being blonde: Chrissy's mom, Billy's mom, Virginia, and Karen. If there are any other blonde mothers that I've forgotten lemme know, these are just the ones I remember.

Chrissy's mom and Billy's mom are minor characters, so they're simple in their being bad mothers. Chrissy's mom gave her an eating disorder, calling her fat and things. In general, very very concerned about appearances.

Billy's mom abandoned him as a child, running away from her abusive husband and leaving Billy behind. While I can sympathize with her, leaving a child alone with a man you know is abusive to him is unjustifiable. So, concerned about herself, and not her child.

Virginia and Karen require more picking at to see what they are. I highly rec some of @aemiron-main's analyses on those two and their treatment of Henry and Mike respectively, but for the purposes of this post I'll give a concise summary.

Virginia thought her son was "broken", and tried to fix him. Her seeing spiders in a bathtub as her reflection is interesting, especially in the context of Henry calling spiders predators. Virginia saw a predator in the bathtub as a reflection of her crimes? That's a rather heavy-handed metaphor for sexually abusing Henry. This ties into his queer coding, so it was very possibly due to him being gay and her trying to fix him. Sexual abuse has always been a major part of conversion therapy after all. Thus, "fixing" Henry by violating him.

Karen is emotionally neglectful of Mike. She nitpicks his food and his interests, and doesn't go to him to comfort him when he's upset, and then says he can come to her when he needs her? She's rather concerned about appearances, about being a good nuclear family. Although she does care about her children, she tends to care more about what others might say.

So, we have emotional abuse from Chrissy's mom, emotional neglect from Karen, physical abuse from Virginia, and physical neglect from Billy's mom. Makes a bit of a set.

But, on Karen for a bit. She isn't actually a natural blonde. Rather, she died her hair blonde, likely so she would be "better" in society's eyes. Just like how her parenting style isn't out of lack of care for her children, but because she actually thinks she's helping them. This is a contrast to the other moms, who are natural blondes, and put themselves over their children. So, if she does become better in show, I wouldn't be surprised if she let her hair go back to brunette.

#posting about the prick #analysis #virginia #karen #billy's mom #chrissy's mom #stranger things #stranger things analysis #byler #byler tumblr #mike wheeler #wheelers a+ parenting #virginia creel #creel family

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kindahoping4forever · 2 years

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You Feel Like A Holiday // Ashton Irwin

Of course the cabin would find its way into the Stage!Ash universe at some point! I was so excited when I came up with the concept for this Christmas fic last year, I actually paused writing the Halloween fic to start on this one lol. Thank you to @cal-puddies for enduring endless drafts of this and to everyone who requested the return of Stage!Ash over the past year, I always knew I'd get around to finishing these "lost" fics but I don't know that I'd have the confidence to post them so belatedly if it wasn't for the support and affection for this series.

This is somewhat of an ending to this series - I'd say it's enough of a conclusion to the emotional thread that if I never wrote this couple again, we'd all be satisfied but it's still open-ended enough for me to continue if it felt necessary. I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash, Stage!Ash: Christmas Getaway Edition. So much soft, romantic shit it's actually embarrassing, like I was clearly going through something. Brief mention of weed use, 69 (simultaneous oral sex), needy sex by the fireplace, cockwarming. Seriously, though, this fic will absolutely call you single. I'm the person who wrote it and it hurt MY feelings.

Word Count: 12k

Encore: A Stage!Ash Series Masterlist

Masterlist // Ko-Fi linked above

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

You rub your tired eyes and roll over to face the chuckling man laying in your bed beside you. “Wait… what? Are you serious?”

Ashton answers with a soft smile as he reaches over to run a hand gently down your back. “Baby, you’ve been dealing with a lot of stress already before this back-and-forth game you have going on with your parents. ‘Can’t wait for you to come home for Christmas… no, actually don’t, it’s not safe… OK, come home but don’t bring guests… and since you’ll already be here, might as well all quarantine through New Year’s and spend that together’,” he recaps the past couple weeks of messages you’ve relayed to him.

“I guess it has been a lot,” you admit.

“Soooo, would you want to go up to the cabin, turn our phones off and spend Christmas just the two of us?” He repeats his suggestion.

You frown, thinking. “I dunno, Ash… didn’t you say Mike was having a thing at his place? Since you can’t go home, you should still be with family.”

“I would be,” he says simply.

As if his offer wasn’t enough to floor you, the casual way he notes how close you’ve become leaves you speechless. You stare in dreamy disbelief at your boyfriend; even after dating for half a year, you’re still not sure how to respond when his earnestness catches you off guard like this.

Ashton is unfazed by your silence, leaning over your pillow to press a kiss to your forehead. “You deserve a break and you know your parents will be thrilled to see you no matter what date the calendar says.”

He starts to lay back down but you stop him by taking his face in your hands and kissing him. The look in his eyes when he pulls away tells you he understands how much this conversation has meant to you. “I have been wondering when I’d get my invitation up there,” you tease.

“Well, this is obviously a pity invite,” Ash giggles, unable to keep a straight face. “Plus, it’s way too cold for Calum this time of year.”

You land a few playful jabs to his side before he scoops you up to lay on his chest and the two of you discuss logistics until you fall asleep.

You decide to head out a few days before Christmas since there’s a storm making its way up the coast and you want to be settled before any rain or snow starts up. Telling your family about your change of plans goes much smoother than you expected and by the time you’re sitting in Ash’s passenger seat, tucking into a hot coffee and breakfast sandwich, you’re feeling relaxed already.

“It’s an easy trip up, just a couple hours,” he explains as he climbs in the car, waiting all of 8 seconds before planting his hand on your thigh. He queues up the playlist he put together for the ride and mentions, “There’s a market just down the road from my place, figure we can make a quick grocery and firewood stop on the way.”

You raise his hand to your lips, kissing it before placing it back on your leg where it belongs. “Sounds like a plan,” you chirp enthusiastically.

As promised, the drive flies by - it’s always easy to lose track of time when you and Ash get to talking. At the store, you stroll the aisles together, breezing through the necessities list you made on the ride there. As you’re tossing the last of your items onto the checkout counter, Ashton casually announces he forgot something, hands you his car key and credit card and vows to meet you outside. Your curiosity outweighs your suspicion and you play along, paying the bill and pushing the cart out to the parking lot.

Midway through putting the bags in the trunk, you laugh to yourself as you realize you’d recognize the sound of his keys jangling on his belt loop anywhere. You turn around to see a grinning Ash headed towards you with a boxed artificial Christmas tree hoisted over his shoulder and two bags containing ornaments and lights hanging off his arms.

“Ash,” you sigh. “You didn’t have to do this.”

He cheerfully brushes off your comment and carefully fits the box in the car. “Well, what’s Christmas without a tree?”

“We’re literally going to a forest,” you reply playfully.

He giggles as he pokes your side, unwilling to let you deflect from how touched you are by his gesture. “You’re welcome, baby.” He pulls you in, kissing your temple.

It only takes a few more songs on the playlist to arrive at Ashton’s cabin and it's as peaceful and cozy as you’d hoped it would be. The pictures you'd seen and stories you'd heard definitely made it seem like an idyllic getaway but as you follow Ash into the charming avocado green house, you’re still surprised by how instantly at home and welcome you feel.

“Lemme get this fire going and then I’ll give you the grand tour,” he promises, quickly unpacking the supplies from the market.

You nod agreeably, watching as he shrugs off his coat and starts working to set up the fireplace. The way his large frame contrasts the small living room, how he so easily hauls the wood around, how carefully his hands work to arrange everything - it all makes you want to curl up into him and let yourself drown in his warmth. You know there’ll be plenty of time for that later so for now, you just admire from afar.

With the fire now warming the cabin, Ashton shows you around, beaming as he points out which features are his favorites and what he thinks you’ll love. It’s not a large property by any means but it takes a while to move through the space since of course he has an anecdote for just about every piece of art or furniture he selected.

“I hope it isn’t too cold to hang out back here. At night we’ve got heat lamps and the fire pit and in the mornings, the sun hits everything so perfectly,” he comments as you follow him onto the large deck. “Having the forest right there, almost like it’s my backyard… I could stay out here for hours. Writing, smoking, just thinking… it’s perfect for just about everything. There’s nothing like this view.”

“I’ll say,” you flirt, sliding your arms around his waist and snuggling into his side.

He laughs, giving you a squeeze. “That’s so cheesy!”

You shake your head. “It’s true! I love watching how you get when you’re passionate about something.”

“Well in that case,” he says, smoothly bringing you into a slow kiss.

You giggle as you pull away, “That was cheesy.”

The two of you work together to unload the car and get your belongings somewhat organized. The weather stays agreeable enough for Ash to fire up the barbecue and grill some burgers for an early dinner. The evening is devoted to moving the furniture around so there’s room to assemble and decorate the Christmas tree you both now apparently own.

“You realize we’re going to all this trouble just so we can undo it all in a couple days and lug everything all the way home?” You tease as you grab the popcorn out of the microwave, emptying it into a bowl to cool before you string it.

“Nah,” Ashton jovially shrugs off your remark, stepping back to admire the lights he’s just finished wrapping around the tree’s branches. “It’s fake so we can just leave it up and deal with it next time we visit… stick the box in the spare room and it’ll be here waiting for us next Christmas.”

There it is again: the way your heart skips a beat, that familiar warmth that floods your veins whenever he talks about the future. You’ve been together a matter of months and yet he so easily references being with you in a year’s time, like it’s a given - not that he takes your presence for granted but that it’s only logical you’d be spending another holiday season together. You’ve found each other and you belong with him now, your plans are his and his yours.

As your mind processes these thoughts, you cross the room and do what you’ve become accustomed to doing when you’re feeling overwhelmed: you slip your arms around your boyfriend and bury your face in his back. The knitted sweater he’s wearing is scratchy against your face but you don’t care, you press yourself harder against him, inhaling deeply, letting both his scent and his body heat ground you.

You can tell Ashton’s not exactly sure why you’re feeling the way you are but he knows enough to let you take what you need from him in this moment. He separates your clasped hands from around his torso and takes one in each of his hands, holding them tightly as he crosses his own arms around himself, essentially helping you hug him.

He sways with you for a moment before gently breaking the silence because it’s in his nature to. “Popcorn smells good.”

You smile into his back, pressing a kiss to the center before loosening your hold on his body. “I was thinking about throwing another bag in to snack on while we decorate. We’ve got plenty.”

He turns around and cups your chin to kiss you softly. “Perfect.”

The next morning, you roll over, intending to curl up against Ash but instead are met with the feeling of cold sheets and an unoccupied pillow; your eyes shoot open, lips forming into a pout. The sound of an acoustic guitar strumming in the distance softens your mood instantly and you get out of bed, sliding your feet into a pair of slippers and draping a blanket over the shoulders of the henley you stole from Ash to sleep in, and you follow the music out onto the deck.

You step outside and discover that not only is the weather surprisingly mild for a December morning, it’s apparently warm enough that Ashton is out here, barefoot and in his bathrobe, spread out on the patio couch with his guitar. As you walk over, you note the empty coffee mug, picked over bowl of fruit and half-finished joint in the ashtray sitting on the fire pit ledge - it looks like he’s been out here a while.

“Mornin’, baby!” He greets you cheerfully, moving to a cross-legged position to make room for you on the couch. “Hope the music wasn’t too loud?”

“The music was nice, the bed was just too cold without you,” you explain, giving him a quick kiss before you sit down, murmuring at the combination of coffee, smoke and citrus on his lips.

“Aww, poor baby,” Ash playfully pouts, reaching over to squeeze your knee through your flannel pajama pants. “I wanted to make sure I got some writing time out here before the storm, my creativity is always so different up here. I didn’t think you’d be a fan of the early wakeup call, so I let you be.”

“My hero,” you grin, leaning over to kiss him more thoroughly, happily scratching over the fresh stubble adorning his previously clean-shaven cheeks. “Mmm, can one of my Christmas gifts be you not shaving while we’re here?”

“Didn’t even consider bringing a razor,” he laughs, leaning into your touch.

You settle back and relax on the couch, listening to him skillfully pluck the steel strings of his guitar while you help yourself to the breakfast he abandoned. Ash was right, the morning sun hits just right, warming your skin and casting a luscious glow across the deck. He pauses his playing to scrawl something into a notebook and you study him as you pick up the still burning joint from the ashtray and take a puff. The way the sunlight catches the natural highlights in his hair, that one particular curl hanging over his furrowed brow as he writes, his jaw clenching and unclenching in concentration. You weren’t kidding when you said this was your favorite view.

He reaches over to set the guitar aside and you feel your eyebrows involuntarily raise at how it causes his robe to pull open slightly, exposing even more of his bare chest. His dark chest hair is already a tempting invitation to touch but the gold medallion resting between his pecs somehow makes him look even broader than usual and you find yourself unable to resist any longer.

You take another hit and scoot closer to your boyfriend, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he leans over his writing. “Hi,” you coo innocently, placing the joint between his lips, letting him take a puff before you return it to your own mouth.

“Hi,” he responds, simultaneously suspicious and amused as he watches you reach for the ashtray. “What’s up?”

You bat your eyelashes coyly, running your hand through his curls and down to cradle the base of his neck. “Nothin’... just like watchin’ you.”

He smiles sweetly, clearly basking in your attention. He plants a playful kiss on your lips before pulling away to laugh, “I almost said ‘good thing I like being watched’ but that sounds like a conversation for a different time.”

Surprise and desire light up your eyes as you pull him in by the collar of his colorful robe. “OK, so we’re definitely revisiting this topic,” you giggle naughtily. You don’t mean to kiss him with the full force of the hunger you’re feeling, you meant to play it cool for a little while longer but it’s hard not to get carried away when you’re with him. He meets your energy, tongue playing with yours as his fingers nimbly unfasten the buttons of your shirt, making room for him to slide his hands inside to paw at your breasts; your hands dip inside his robe, rubbing at his defined chest, brushing through the hair you’d been so eager to touch.

Your hands eventually travel further down and you chuckle as it dawns on you that you don’t feel the waistband of his underwear. “Excuse me, sir, are you seriously out here naked under this robe?” You cackle, tugging at the belt until the fit loosens so you can explore more.

Ashton shrugs, proudly declaring, “Just tryin’ to be one with nature.”

“Hey, I thought the cold was supposed to make guys smaller,” you joke as you let your fingers graze his cock.

He replies with a smirk, “Well that clearly doesn’t account for those who have their gorgeous beyond belief girlfriend with them.”

The grin you’ve been wearing is so wide by now, your face almost hurts. “Well played, sir. Well played,” you nod, shifting down the couch to position yourself on your knees, between his legs.

“We should also revisit the topic of you calling me ‘sir’,” he quips, his laugh turning to a groan as you open the robe fully and dip down to roll your tongue over the head of his cock.

He starts, “Baby…” but never finishes the thought, the rest of his words swallowed in the deep breath he takes while he watches you ghost your lips up and down his shaft, the both of you relishing the feeling of him growing harder as you work. He presses back into the pillow resting against the arm of the couch and softly runs a hand through your hair, letting his touch tell you how much he appreciates you.

Your eyes flit up to meet his when your lips close around him and glide down his length. You both keep eye contact as your warm mouth begins moving up and down, until you close your eyes to concentrate on taking more of him but even then, you can feel his gaze steady on you, his attention focused on every bob of your head and swirl of your tongue. You hear him sigh your name as he hits the back of your throat before you sloppily pull back up, letting your spit fall freely, dripping onto his cock, making him shiny and wet for you.

You lock eyes with Ash again as you lift your head, stopping to suck at his tip, making sure to exaggeratedly pout your lips to emphasize how wide you have to open your mouth to accommodate his size. Judging from his glassy-eyed, slack-jawed expression, it’s no surprise to you when his lips move as if he intends to praise you but no sound emerges. Leaving Ashton speechless - especially during sex - is no small feat and you feel both pride and confidence surge through you as you pull off with a loud pop to address him.

“Seems like you’re a fan of watching me too, aren’t you, babe?” You tease, pumping him slowly.

He blinks rapidly, as if the process will reset his weed and lust clouded mind. He finally gives a chuckle of your name as he lolls his head back. “Just look so fuckin’ amazing when you take me,” he purrs dreamily. “Can’t keep my eyes off you. Love watching you be so good to me.”

His compliment immediately stokes the fire in you and you don’t want to waste another second not pleasing him. “Well then, you’ll definitely love seeing this,” you promise. You brace your hands on his thighs as you lower your mouth on his cock again, this time determined to take him into your throat as much as you possibly can.

“Jesus, love,” he whimpers as you sink further and further on him. You flutter your tongue while you work him down and out of the corner of your eye, you see his fist clenching the material of his robe as he fights the urge to thrust into your mouth. “So fucking good, baby…”

You reach your limit and start to come back up, lungs burning as you repress your need to breathe in favor of maintaining a heavy suction on his cock while you pull off. As soon as your lips are off him, Ashton’s hands are on you, holding you as you pant, pulling you up to him.

“C’mere,” he coaxes, thumbs tenderly wiping at the tears on your cheeks and the drool on your chin. His lips peck at your neck as you catch your breath and as he moves in to finally slot his lips with yours, you hear the breathy “good girl” your mind has been craving.

“I’m not done yet,” you quietly protest against his lips.

His teeth tug at your bottom lip as he pulls away. “I know,” he grins. His hands travel down your back, slipping inside your pajama pants to squeeze your ass. “You were just making me feel so good, I was getting impatient to show you my appreciation.”

“Well… that’s fair,” you say with an air of mock arrogance before melting with a half-moan, half-laugh as he nips at your skin.

“Can I take these off?” He asks, hooking his thumbs inside the waistbands of your pants and underwear. You nod and the two of you fumble and giggle trying to undress your bottom half; you’re finally freed of the offending clothes and Ash lets his hands roam your bare ass as he gives you a kiss that’s somehow both calming and frantic in its passion. You gasp into his mouth as he brings his hand between your legs, gently tracing through your wetness. He rasps, “Yeah… I thought so, baby… knew my girl was needing some attention.”

You quietly whine and rock against his hand, wrestling with your desire to finish the blowjob but now also tempted to seek out your own orgasm as soon as possible. “Always need this kind of attention from you,” you admit, sighing as he leans forward to bury his face inside your shirt, mouthing over your tits.

He kisses you, wild with need, before looking up at you with fire in his eyes. “I have an idea if you’re up for trying something?”

You agree with a cautious laugh and then Ashton is helping you to turn around so that you’re straddling him but facing away. About halfway through following his direction, a switch flips inside your brain and you realize what he’s suggesting. You eagerly get yourself into position, propping yourself up on your hands over his crotch while you scoot the rest of your body down until you feel his breath between your legs.

“Good girl,” he praises in a quiet voice, deepening with desire.

“This experiment is gonna be over pretty quick if you keep calling me that,” you crack, reaching for his cock. He laughs, giving a playful slap to your ass. You laugh with him, “Or if you keep doing that.”

He chuckles, using his hands to encourage your body down within range of his face. He tentatively rubs his scruff around your inner thighs while you test your position by pressing chaste kisses to his balls. He checks in, “Comfortable, baby?”

“Except for when I think about the extreme close-up view you're getting of my asshole right now," you joke.

"Another topic we’ll revisit at a later date," he cackles, massaging your cheeks.

“Oh my god,” you laugh at his comment. Before you’re done giggling, he flattens his tongue and gives a long lick up your pussy. You groan out a surprised but relieved, “Oh my god.”

He continues, humming happily as he licks, nips and sucks at you, exploring how to best please you in this angle and position. You admit you were skeptical about this at first but as you subtly roll your hips over his face while you sink your mouth down on his cock, you think to yourself that your boyfriend might be a genius.

You easily find a rhythm with each other, communicating through murmurs and muffled sighs and you quickly get lost in pleasuring each other. Ash’s tongue diligently licks away at you while yours runs along the underside of his cock as you bob up and down. He’s the first to pull away, moaning your name loudly when you pull up and start lapping sloppily around his tip.

“Mmm, baby… that’s… yeah,” he rambles, letting out a long breath as your hand starts lightly working over his balls.

Ashton regains his composure and continues his efforts, teasing your entrance before moving towards your clit with a slow drag of his tongue. He flicks over it a few times before fitting it between his lips and sucking gently. He increases the pressure, buzzing appreciatively and you’re not sure if he’s responding to your taste or the work you’re doing on him but the shiver it sends down your spine has you whining around him.

“Ash…” You sound desperate and slightly unlike yourself but the way he’s eating you feels too good for you to worry with self-consciousness. “God, keep… that… that, like that.”

He follows your jumbled instructions, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs as he struggles to hold your bucking hips still above him. You breathe deep to steady yourself before you take his cock into your mouth again, moving down his length in time with the strokes of his tongue on your clit.

Your head spins as the entire situation threatens to overwhelm your senses: the cool morning air raising goosebumps on your exposed body while the bright sun and constant touch of Ashton’s hands work in tandem to warm your skin. The taste of the precum steadily leaking onto your tongue, the muted groans of praise coming from the man underneath you. The feeling of your body rocking back and forth, grinding against his face while sliding your mouth on his length, your mind on fire from both receiving and giving pleasure.

You pull off to lick up and down the sides of his cock, needing a moment to catch your breath but also needing to keep tasting him, keep pleasing him, keep hearing him fall apart for you. Ash’s tongue picks up speed, fluttering over your clit so rapidly you can’t do anything but bury your face in his thigh and moan.

“I know, I know, love… taste so sweet, baby, I feel like I can’t get enough,” he praises, pecking at your pussy softly. He rubs the small of your back soothingly, watching you try your hardest to keep stroking him despite being so close to the edge yourself. “Your hands always feel so nice on me, baby… make me feel so fucking good.”

You visibly perk back up from his compliments. “Always want you to feel so good, Ash… you deserve it,” you huff against his leg, hand determined to keep working him. “Always make me feel incredible… you should feel that way too… love being the one who gets to do it.”

He kisses your legs sweetly, loving your half-stoned, half-love-drunk ramblings. “No one else could ever make me feel like you do,” he declares. He gives your ass a squeeze before asking, “Think you’re ready to cum with me, baby?”

You let out a weak but agreeable mewl and right yourself, raising your head over him again. Your brain tries to formulate a sexy reply or a flirty joke but all you can think about is how badly you want to feel his tongue on you again, how you can’t wait to taste his cum splashing into your mouth. These thoughts swirl around your head as you lean in to swirl your tongue around the head of Ash’s cock. The whine it earns you from him is so viscerally satisfying to you, you briefly wonder if you might beat him to the finish line right now this second.

Your hands and mouth work over Ash while he resumes worshiping you with his tongue; he tightly grips your ass, pressing you further down onto his face, completely burying himself in your pussy. The wide surface of his tongue lavishes over every sensitive inch of you and as his lips close over your clit, you feel that familiar fire starting to build in your belly. You hollow your cheeks, doubling your efforts on him, determined to push him over the edge first. In an inspired moment, you decide to carefully run your nails over his inner thighs, knowing he might appreciate the surprisingly sharp feeling. You hear his muffled reaction from behind you and when you press down just a little bit harder, you feel his cock jump on your tongue.

The both of you expertly work each other’s bodies, tirelessly sending the other barreling towards their release until finally it’s as if time slows down, allowing you to feel everything happening at once. Your hips jerk over his face and you feel the pleasure start rippling through your core. Ashton groans against you as his cock begins pulsing, flooding your mouth with his cum, the vibrations of his outburst amplifying the sensations of your own climax. Your brain and body feel overloaded with stimulation as you try to concentrate on swallowing all that he’s giving you while still losing yourself in the endless waves of your orgasm.

The intertwined sounds of your combined satisfaction eventually fade into blended gasps and pants and you feel Ash tenderly stroking the backs of your thighs as your upper body suddenly goes slack, your head falling onto the couch, exhausted. He sweetly pecks over your skin for a beat, letting you have a moment before gently tapping your leg, saying, “Come kiss me.”

You smile into the couch cushion at the simplicity of his request; the joy that washes over you in that moment gives you the strength you need to pick your body back up and turn yourself around to lay on his chest.

“There’s my girl,” he coos, gathering the fallen sides of the robe he’s wearing and wrapping them around you, cocooning you to him. You press your lips to his and neither of you comment on how the taste of one another lingers on each other’s tongues but the revelation is so simultaneously filthy and intimate, you feel absolutely intoxicated by the time the kiss is finished.

You look at him, dazed smile on your face. “That was…”

You can’t find the words to describe it but he agrees nonetheless. “Definitely.”

“I forgive you for leaving me alone in a cold bed,” you tease.

He cackles loudly. “Oh? Never would’ve guessed.”

That blend of goofy tenderness becomes the brand of the day. You finally make it off the couch and inside to share a more substantial meal and a hot shower. After checking the forecast, Ashton excitedly shares that the inclement weather isn’t scheduled to hit until late night, so you decide to make a quick trip down to the store for a few things you’d wished you’d bought yesterday.

You’re steering the cart towards the parking lot when, just like your previous trip, Ash tosses you the key, saying he has to go back for something.

“We don’t have room for another Christmas tree, Ash,” you tease.

He mockingly repeats your joke before kissing your cheek and taking off in the opposite direction. There’s only a few bags to load into the trunk this time so you’re all packed up before he makes it back. You lock up and turn to push the basket towards the return aisle at the end of the row when you see Ashton emerge from the store holding a bouquet of roses. You feel your face warm instantly and you stop, holding onto the cart tightly to collect yourself. You realize you’re swooning as you watch him, looking sleek in his long trench coat and boots, bright smile adorning his face as he joyfully brings you fresh flowers for seemingly no reason, and it hits you that you've lost track of how many times he’s made you literally weak in the knees.

You finish putting the cart away and you start towards him, figuring you’ll meet him halfway. He spots you when he makes it onto your row and smoothly moves his hands behind his back to obscure the gift but as you get closer, he reads your expression and accepts defeat.

He laughs and calls out, “You saw already, didn’t you?”

You grin, nodding sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to but you caught my attention… so unlike me, I know,” you giggle, skipping your steps a little to get to him faster.

As soon as he’s within reach, you wrap your arms around his neck and bring him down to your lips, unwilling to wait another second to show him your appreciation. He happily reciprocates your affection and holds you tightly to him with one arm as he pulls away to give you the flowers.

“I don’t know… I saw these on our way out and thought you should have them,” he shrugs, almost blushing and it’s so adorable you’re having a hard time not immediately interrupting him for another kiss. “Think they’d look nice on the nightstand on your side of the bed.”

“They’re perfect,” you gush, gleefully inhaling their sweet scent. “And you’re not so bad either.”

The rest of the afternoon is lazy and comfortable. The two of you head back out to the deck and hang out in blissful silence: Ash occasionally strumming his guitar but mainly writing in his journal, you busy with the holiday needlepoint kit you bought at the market because it seemed like a cabin-y activity to try and you figured you could send the finished product home to your parents.

When it gets a bit too cold to stay outside, you help Ash move and cover the patio furniture for the storm and start discussing dinner. He picks out a record to play and gets the fireplace going while you throw some soup on the stove because it’s easy and sounds cozy on such a chilly night. You eat and talk and when you’re done eating, you sit at the table and talk some more. Since you cooked, he suggests you go relax by the fire and he’ll tackle the clean up; you put on another album, grab your needlepoint and a blanket and stretch out on the couch.

He comes into the living room a while later, carefully carrying two mugs of hot cocoa and the bag of mini marshmallows you bought earlier. “Didn’t know how many you’d want,” he explains, dropping the bag in your lap as he sets the mugs on the coffee table in front of you. You murmur your thanks as you curl your legs under you so he can sit down. After a short but heated debate over the proper amount of marshmallows that belong in a serving of hot chocolate, you sit quietly and enjoy the fire together.

Ashton gets up to throw another log in the fireplace. He looks back at you, snug on the couch with your project and smiles, asking thoughtfully, "Do you think you could ever live like this?”

“Is this a romantic ‘what if’ scenario about the two of us specifically or like a value based, practical conversation?”

He laughs, lifting your legs and setting them in his lap as he sits back down. “Practical.”

You take a sip, thinking. “I don’t know… I love how quiet it is up here, love how remote it is, how removed it feels from everything. Obviously it's gorgeous. But I definitely feel like there are things about ‘city life’ that I'm not sure I'd be able to give up.”

“OK, see, that’s the thing - I feel like I should be embarrassed saying this but… I like the city?" He says, with equal parts passion and incredulity. "I like that anything you want is so readily accessible at any time, I like meeting dozens of new people everyday, I like getting bored at 10pm on a Saturday night and knowing I’ll always be able to find somewhere to go and it’s anybody’s guess if it’s going to be a worthwhile endeavor but goddamn, good or bad, it’s gonna be memorable… No two nights are ever the same in LA and I find that beautiful.”

You rub over his arm, fondly, enjoying his passion. “I feel the same way, if I’m really honest with myself. It’s like the simplicity here is quaint to us now because we're not used to it and we know we’re only going to be here so long. But once the novelty wore off, that monotony would be a tough adjustment for some people."

He plays with the hem of your sweats. “But I think I would like to get to the point where I don't feel like I need those other things. Where I could sustain a life out here, or somewhere like this. Something pure, something free… more natural, I guess.”

“I think you could, you’re very resourceful and adaptable and very at peace with yourself," you muse, nudging him. "I think you’d be able to recreate those 'city' experiences or find something that gives you those same feelings out here on your own.”

“Doesn’t necessarily have to be on my own,” he points out, nudging you back.

You tease, “You really think being in my presence is on the same level of thrills as living in the city?”

“I mean, you’re pretty cool, baby, but I was actually talking about moving Calum out here with me,” he zings, howling as you jab your foot into his side.

You get up to take your mugs to the kitchen and when you come back, he’s still pensively looking at the fire. You sit beside him, spreading your blanket out over the both of you and he resumes the conversation, chuckling, “I was actually meant to spend most of the summer out here. Wanted to give myself kind of a test run, see how long I could make it. Until I met someone who made me rethink the pros of city life." He winks at you, reaching for your hand.

You laugh, squeezing his fingers. “That's sweet, Ash, but let’s not gloss over the fact you were also recording an album with your band that required you to be in the city too.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “Nah, my summer project was gonna be converting the attic into a studio so we could at least lay down demos here,” he shares. “That’s why Cal and I spent that week up here right before we met, we were taking pictures and planning.”

You sit all the way up, staring at him in disbelief. “So you’re saying you fully intended to spend the entire summer in the mountains, renovating your cabin so you could live and work out here and just because you happened to meet some random girl at a party, you scrapped the whole thing and stayed in the city just to hang out?”

He giggles, kissing your temple. “I wouldn’t put it like that - things just kept getting put off because I kept finding other ways to spend my time that interested me more.” Your shocked expression doesn’t waver and the grin he's wearing only seems to grow wider, dimples sinking even deeper into his cheeks.

You shake your head. “Can’t decide if that means you were crazy about me or just plain crazy.”

He shrugs, pulling you closer. “Why not both?”

In the morning you roll over and are pleased to discover your boyfriend still sleeping next to you. While the thought of snuggling into him and drifting back off to sleep is immensely appealing, you decide you have a better idea. You ease out of bed and down to the kitchen where you start preparing eggs, bacon and coffee for the both of you. You hum quietly to yourself as you cook, happy to be able to do something for Ashton since so much of this trip has been about him treating you.

The meal is cooling on the counter and you’re standing at the sink rinsing the last frying pan when you feel the fuzzy fabric of Ash’s robe brush your skin and his arms slink around you. A shiver runs down your body as his scruff tickles your skin as he buries his face in your neck and grumbles, “You’re right, it gets fuckin’ cold in that bed.”

“Sorry, babe,” you sing song, reaching behind you to scratch at his beard, which is filling in nicely. “Wanted breakfast to be a surprise.”

His deep, scratchy morning voice teases, “What if I wanted to eat somethin’ a little sweeter for breakfast?” and he nibbles along your neck while his hands run down your body before tugging at the drawstring on your sweatpants.

A naughty grin spreads across your face and you close your eyes for a beat to enjoy the work Ash’s tongue is doing behind your earlobe. You don’t know if you’ll ever get over the fact that he’s as hungry for you as you are for him. “Play your cards right and you might be able to have dessert for lunch.” You dry your hands with a dish towel and spin around in his hold to face him.

You fling your arms around his neck and he lets out something between a sleepy sigh and a growl when you move in for a kiss. “Love when we compromise,” he jokes against your lips. You communicate silently with your tongues for a moment before he pulls back to coo, “Merry Christmas Eve, baby.”

Breakfast is a bit rushed because Ashton wants to hurry outside to take pictures with you in the fresh snow before the weather gets too crazy. But he’s sure to give your thoughtful gesture its due, exaggeratedly moaning at every bite and offering you multiple hyperbolic compliments during the meal. You stand up to clear the table but he objects, dragging you to the bedroom to get dressed, promising he’ll clean it all himself once you come back inside from seeing the snow.

You know it’s pointless to push back when he’s this determined about something plus it is pretty cute how excited he is, so you humor him, quickly pulling on some leggings. By the time you’re slipping one of his hoodies over your head, he’s already headed out the sliding door to find the best place to set his phone up on the deck railing.

“You want me to grab your coat for you?” You poke your head out the door and ask, puzzled by his choice to go out in just his henley and jeans.

Ash shakes his head. “Nah, we won’t be out here long,” he insists, blissfully unconcerned by the temperature despite his breath instantly forming a frosty cloud in front of him as he speaks.

You skeptically watch him shuffle around the deck for a few more seconds before you pull the door shut behind you. “Babe, you don’t even have your boots tied! We’re not gonna get snowed out in the 30 seconds that’ll take, come on,” you laugh, tugging on his hand.

He lifts your hand to his mouth, pecking it softly, giggling as you yank it away when his cold nose brushes your skin. “I will, baby, I will,” he promises while making a beeline for the stairs leading off the side of the deck. “I just need to check…”

You can only guess what the last part of that sentence is because suddenly he’s disappeared from view with a surprised yelp and you hurry over to the edge of the deck, peering over just in time to see him roll onto his back, laughing hysterically. Judging by the amount of snow shaking out of his beard as he laughs, you make the assumption that he did a full face plant. Stifling your own laughter, you grab his phone off the rail and snap a handful of photos of the spectacle, which only makes him laugh even harder.

“Slippery?” You call down to him with a grin.

Ashton shrugs, laughter still rattling through him. “Slippery, missed a step, should’ve put my shoes on right.”

“Ah, the trifecta,” you tease, making your way down to him.

“Just trying to make this trip as memorable as possible for you,” he jokes. You start making your way down to him and you can’t help but feel soft about the quiet “Careful, baby” he warns you with as he watches you descend the stairs.

You stand over him and he cackles as you click a few more choice pictures. “Come on, baby, help me up,” he requests, casting a hilariously dramatic pout on his face to sell his plight.

“Just one more thing,” you reply before plopping yourself into the snow next to him.

He gasps your name as you settle in next to him, stretching your arms out to take selfies of the two of you in the snow. “Baby, no,” he protests, fussing over the way your sweatshirt has ridden up and exposed your skin to the cold. “We don’t need to both be shaking and wet.”

“Thought you preferred me that way,” you tease, pecking his cheek for one last picture. “Besides, I’m a loyal gal. Stand by your man and all that.”

“Or lay down in the snow by your man?”

“Exactly,” you laugh with him, happily letting him lead you into a sweet kiss.

Although you ostensibly came down to aid his fall, Ash easily gets back on his feet and extends a hand to you, pulling you up alongside him. Even though he’s notably more snow covered than you are, he still instinctively brings you in, rubbing his hands up and down your arms, trying in vain to warm you up.

“You’re basically a popsicle trying to warm up an ice cube, babe,” you laugh, teeth slightly chattering towards the end of your sentence.

He snorts, conceding defeat, and takes your hand, leading you past the deck - presumably to avoid the slippery stairs that led to this predicament - and around the house to the front door.

“Off,” he commands, tugging at your wet clothes as soon as you get inside. He quickly yanks his henley up over his shoulders, steps out of his pants and heads further into the house, moving too fast for you to get a flirty joke out about his advice. You strip down to your underwear and follow him into the living room, where he’s adjusting the fireplace, completely naked.

“I’m gonna selfishly ask you to be careful over there,” you giggle, annoyed that your voice sounds so shaky because of how cold you are.

Your obvious shivering catches his attention and he shifts his gaze over to you. He frowns, gesturing at your bra and panties. “Aww, baby… get those off too and come stand by the fire.” He grabs the flannel blanket off the couch and drapes it over your back, using it to pull your now naked body against his. “I’ll grab us some sweats and something hot to drink in a few, just wanna get us both situated.”

Ashton holds you tight against him, rubbing over your arms just like he did outside, his efforts much more effective with the aid of the roaring fire. Finally warm enough to drop your arms from around yourself, you slide them around his waist, instantly noting how cold and damp his back still is.

“Ash…” You pout, struggling with the blanket around you, fruitlessly trying to pull it to reach more of his body. You offer, “Let’s get another blanket, babe, get you covered too.”

“I’m fine, baby, want you warm first,” he insists, emphasizing his point by rubbing your arms faster.

“Ash, you’re not fine, you’re standing here with your entire ass out.”

“Thought you preferred me that way.”

You can’t help but crack up at both his joke and his stubbornness. You shake your head and sigh, “I love you.”

The words hang in the air and though you said them, you seem to hear them at the same time he does and the two of you freeze and look at each other, wide eyed. You’ve had that thought many times and even considered saying it out loud once or twice but you were never sure if the time was right. You can’t fathom why your brain decided that now, arguing over a blanket while you’re naked and freezing, was the right time for you to blurt it out, but what’s done is done.

It’s only been a moment but the silence feels endless and you’re dying to fill it. You laugh nervously and stammer, mind racing faster than your mouth can speak. “Well. Um. I… uh… I mean…”

Ashton appears to be speechless - an event you’ve only seen happen one or two times since you’ve known him - but he sees the panic on your face and he subtly shakes his head, snapping himself back to reality. He squeezes your hands and brings them to his lips to kiss them sweetly. “Baby… I love you… have for a while,” he says with a soft, reassuring voice and smile to match.

A wave of relief rushes over you, though you’re not quite sure why. You were sure Ash loved you - you feel it every day in the way he smiles at you, the way he cares for you, the way he kisses you - and you were confident your confession wasn’t a surprise to him either. But saying those words and hearing them repeated back still feels monumental. You find yourself overwhelmed and you toss your arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss. He immediately reciprocates, squeezing you tight to him, humming approvingly.

With your arms around each other, the blanket covering you inevitably falls to the ground but neither of you notice, warmed by the other’s embrace. It’s not until he pulls back to cradle your face that he deduces your trembling is likely due to the temperature instead of emotion.

He sympathetically sighs your name, pecking your lips once more before pulling back to grab more pillows and blankets from the couch, making a quick makeshift bed by the fire. “C’mere, baby,” he coos.

You join him on the ground, crawling under the blanket he’s holding open for you and settling onto your side, snuggling against his chest. He wraps the flannel material and then his arms around you, pressing silly wet smooches around your face before landing one on your lips, which you waste no time in deepening. You kiss lazily for a few moments, still processing everything that just happened but with each kiss, confirming the sentiments that you just expressed to each other.

Ash is the first to finally break away, breathing deep, stroking your hair back as he smiles at you. You smile back, scratching at his beard. “I love you,” you repeat, confidently this time. You laugh, “I’ve stopped myself from saying it so many times, I guess I just couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

He grins, sweetly replying, “I love you too… can’t say this is quite how I imagined telling you but…”

You interject with a giggle, “Oh? And how often would you imagine professing your love for me?”

“Hmm… just about every fucking day the past few months,” he shrugs, with a good natured smile, knowing you’re teasing him but insistent on being sincere. “Probably since you came to that first show and I saw how naturally, how easily you fit in with all the other parts of my life that I love.”

You pout, kissing him because you don’t know how else to respond. You murmur against his lips, “Well. Naked by the fire is pretty romantic. Weird context, but still.”

“Anywhere with you is a dream come true, baby.”

You sigh and bury your face in his chest, suddenly needing to feel engulfed by him. He wraps himself around you, warming you, loving you. He tugs your hair after a moment, raising your head to look at him. He doesn’t say the phrase again but you can see it as clear as the hazel in his eyes. He loves you. You place your hands on either side of his face and deliver a slow but quietly heated kiss to his lips.

Ashton’s touch begins to wander, appreciating the convenience of your already naked body. His hands untangle from your hair and move tantalizingly slow down your back to grip your ass before caressing over your sides to palm your breasts. He pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingers, leaving you moaning into his mouth; you return the favor, rubbing over his chest and he moans similarly. You feel his cock swelling against your stomach and you instantly ache for it.

“Ash,” you breathe, stroking him gently.

He nips at your jaw, groaning. “I know, baby,” he soothes, pulling your leg over his hip. “Need you too.” He runs his hand through your wetness and coats his cock with it, his fingers grazing yours, the both of you working to ready him for you. He grips your waist as you bring his tip to your entrance and gently push him inside.

“Ashton,” you sigh in relief, grabbing onto his shoulder as you continue to take him. He slowly starts rocking against you and you let out a series of low moans in sync with his movements. “Feels so good, babe… so good. I love it.”

“Love you,” he insists, grabbing your ass, trying to get you closer. “Nothing better than being in you, baby. ‘S where I belong.”

Mind and body both overwhelmed, a needy whimper pours from your throat. “Ash… need you like this all the time,” you pant, clinging to him while he picks up the pace. “Never felt like this with anyone. Not just this, I mean… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much for someone.”

There’s so much more you could say but every thought in your mind has been replaced by a seemingly endless chant of Ashton, Ashton, Ashton. How well he’s filling you, how adoringly he’s looking at you, how desperately he’s rasping your name. His lips on your neck, his thumb on your clit, his fingers gripping your thigh as he raises your leg higher, trying to thrust into you deeper. It’s all too much and your nails drag down his back as your orgasm starts to overtake you.

“Yes, baby, yes,” he encourages, keeping his rhythm steady. “Let me feel it, love. That’s it.” You cry out and he groans alongside you as you squeeze around him. He holds you tight, fucking you through your climax and shortly after, you feel his back muscles tensing underneath your grip; before you have a chance to react, he’s whining your name and his cock is pulsing inside you. He buries his face in your neck as he cums and you soothingly stroke his hair as he relaxes against you. You lay in silence, holding each other in the afterglow, letting your pounding hearts speak to each other, saying all the words you can’t seem to find.

After a hot shower, a cuddly nap and a dinner that the two of you prepare together, you spend the evening drinking cocoa on the couch, the living room illuminated only by the fire and the Christmas tree lights. You trade stories of past holiday memories and share a few dreams for future ones, ones Ashton’s now more confident than ever that you'll be spending together.

The howling wind of the snowstorm wakes you early the next morning; another gust hits, rattling the bedroom’s sliding glass door. Your boyfriend stirs, mumbling something incoherent but clearly concerned.

“Think that’s the sound of a White Christmas, babe,” you chuckle sleepily, reaching over to rub at his bearded cheek.

“Ooh, that’ll be nice,” he mutters. He moves your hand to his lips, smooching it before turning you on your side so he can spoon you.

His warmth - physical and emotional - surrounds you as his arms envelop you and he mumbles sweet nothings against your hair. He shifts closer and the happy hum you’re emitting becomes a suggestive whine as you feel his morning wood nudging your ass. “This a stocking stuffer for me?” You joke, wiggling against him.

“Never too early for a little Christmas cheer,” he giggles, pressing into you more. His voice is heavy with sleep, his joyful laugh octaves lower than it usually is and it makes you feel like you’re on fire.

“Little is definitely not the word I’d use, babe,” you laugh, yawning through it as you turn over. You look at him, eyes tired but hungry. “You wanna?” You grip him through his flannel pajama pants, groaning quietly when you feel how rock hard he is. You love having him in the morning, it quite literally hits different.

“Baby,” he rasps, grabbing your wrist before you add any more pressure. “Always yes but also no, it’s so fuckin’ early… let’s sleep a little more. Soak in the tub together later.”

He leans in and kisses you with a heat that feels contrary to the plan he just laid out. You bite his lip as he pulls away. “Want you now, though,” you murmur, palming him again, just because you love the feeling of him hard, even if it wasn’t your doing.

Ash smiles knowingly. “My girl feeling needy this morning?” You nod with a playful pout that he plants a kiss directly onto. He turns you back onto your side and aligns his erection with your backside again. “Could just slip in while we lay here…”

“Yes,” you cut him off, not needing to hear any more details. He chuckles at your eagerness as he reaches for the bag on the nightstand and you hurriedly pull down your pajamas and underwear. The slick sounds of him spreading lube on his cock riles you up to the point that you look over your shoulder and half-jokingly state, “Babe, if I have to keep listening to that, we’re not gonna need lube anymore.”

He snorts, giving your ass swat before settling in behind you. “Need it that bad, huh?” You nod, proudly owning your desire. His tip nudges between your legs and you bite your lip in anticipation. His fingers dig into your hips as he slides in and the two of you moan together as he moves deeper and deeper until he’s fully inside you. You both adjust and get comfortable and once you stop squirming, he checks in, “How’s that feel, love?”

“Full,” you answer dreamily. He nuzzles the back of your neck, sliding his hands underneath your sweatshirt, one carressing your tummy, the other grabbing your breast. You let your head fall back against him and you close your eyes, focusing on the satisfying but grounding feeling of his cock inside you: thick, rigid, undeniable but undemanding. His warm hands on your body, his lips grazing your skin, how his breath syncs with yours as you relax in the stillness of each other. You’re almost caught up by how much emotion you suddenly feel so you just offer him a quiet, “Love you.”

“Love you, baby,” he answers, soft and slow, smiling as he feels you relax in his arms as you drift back to sleep.

You wake up alone a few hours later but before the disappointment has a chance to sink in, Ash is walking through the door with a steaming hot mug of coffee for you.

“Merry Christmas, love!” He greets you cheerily. He sets the cup on the nightstand next to your flowers and leans down to kiss you. “Didn’t want to wake you until I had the fire going out there, something warm for you to drink.”

“Sweet of you,” you pout, pulling him down for another kiss before you take a sip. “What should we make for breakfast?”

“Started some French toast already, thought I’d wait until you were up and around before I put the bacon on so we could eat it crispy,” he reports, beaming at you. You smile back, hearts surely shooting out of your eyes, he’s so cute when he’s excited.

The excitement continues when you join him in the kitchen a few minutes later, after you’re clothed and caffeinated. The Christmas music pouring from the stereo is easily drowned out by the gleeful sing-song of your name he lets out when he sees you approaching. You head for the cabinet, figuring you’ll set the table but Ashton steps away from the stove as soon as you’re within reach, pulling you into a bear hug and smothering your face with kisses.

“You’re touchy today,” you comment, ruffling his hair as he moves back to attend to the food.

“Says the woman who refused to go back to sleep without the aid of my dick,” he teases, reaching back over to give your ass a light smack.

You watch him carefully plate the food and carry it over to the table, where he’s already set your gifts for each other by your placemats. He comes back to the stove and you press your face into his back, placing a kiss between his shoulders. “This all smells delicious, babe. Everything you’ve done for me this week has been so sweet and special and I wanna make sure you know I appreciate it.”

He turns around and answers simply with a smile. “It’s a special time and I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”

You’re halfway through breakfast when you can tell he starts getting antsy about the gift exchange; you’re not sure if it’s nerves or impatience but to be honest, you’re surprised he held out even this long.

“Maybe three cups of coffee before noon wasn’t the best idea for today,” you crack, stilling his bouncing knee.

“Slow day for me,” he jokes, flashing you a sweet but apologetic smile.

You decide to cut him a break and you scarf down your last few bites so you can take the plates to the sink and quickly wipe the table down, ensuring sure your gifts are safe from any syrupy stickiness.

“Do you want to go first?” You offer, handing him the big box on the table addressed to him.

His eyes light up but he tries to play it cool, responding, “Whatever you’d like, baby.”

You sit back and giggle as he oohs and aahs over the wrapping before he tears into the package. He uncovers a plain brown shipping box and makes a big show of weighing it in his hands, shaking it around to see if he can detect what’s inside. He finally opens it, digging through the tissue paper to pull out a vinyl record with a photo of Los Angeles on the cover. He doesn’t recognize the picture so he turns the album over to investigate the track listing and your heart melts at the way his face softens when he sees the back cover art is a photo collage of your past six months together. Pictures he’s taken of you, you’ve taken of him, pictures of you two together, pictures of places you’ve been. His eyes drift to the track listing and he quickly recognizes the selections are of the same theme, highlighting moments of your time together.

“These songs!” He says in awe, reading it over. “How did you even pick these?”

“It was hard to whittle it down so that it all fit on one record. But there were certain songs I knew had to be on our soundtrack,” you answer with a grin. You get out of your seat and kneel next to his, pointing to some tracks. “These are ones I remember watching you rehearse endlessly in your basement over the summer. And these are from that playlist you were obsessed with the first few times we went out.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughs, remembering. He points to another song. “We slow danced to this while I was waiting to get called to the press line at Global Citizen.”

“Mmm hmm,” you confirm, touched he remembers. You run your finger down three titles. “These are from the records you found at that thrift shop we went to and you insisted I come back to your place to listen and that night was --”

“The first time we had sex,” he finishes the memory, smiling. “This first track… did we talk about that song the night we met?”

You nod happily. “Some other song was playing at the party and we couldn’t decide what it reminded us of. You figured it out and played it for me on your phone.”

“Wow,” Ashton sighs, staring at the song titles, snapshot memories of your relationship flashing in his mind. “This is incredible, baby. It’s so thoughtful… I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t need to say anything, then,” you say softly, sitting up to draw him into a tender kiss. “Music just sounds different… better ever since I met you.”

“Baby,” he breathes, quickly kissing you again. He clears his throat and you detect a slight break in his voice as he offers a soft “Thank you.”

You squeeze his leg and move back to your seat, overjoyed by his reaction. You’re curious to know what’s inside the pretty package with your name on it but you want to give him as much time as he needs to process all that he’s feeling right now, so you sip your coffee and watch as he continues to stare at the custom record.

He finally tears his eyes away from it, announcing, “We're gonna listen to this by the fire.” He scoots your gift closer to you, cooing, “Your turn, my love.”

The gift is so beautifully wrapped, you almost feel bad ripping it open but with Ash’s eager eyes encouraging you, you dive in. You toss the gift wrap aside and lift the lid on the box, finding two thick leather bound journals; as you begin to thumb through the first one, you see Ashton’s handwriting filling about a quarter of the pages and it dawns on you that this is what you’ve seen him writing in all week.

He sees your wheels turning and he begins to explain. “So there’s two parts to this: I wanted to tell you how I felt about some of my favorite memories with you so far. That’s what those pages are.” He leans in and flips to a few pages that are blank, save for some dates scrawled in the corner. “I thought maybe you could write down your thoughts and memories of those same days here. And then if you wanted to, you could share your thoughts about any other days you wanted to remember and give it back to me and I’d write about the days you picked and we could just go back and forth like that.”

“Ash, that’s so sweet,” you start, heart immediately warmed.

“And then,” he continues, picking up the second book. “This one is blank. I have one just like it. I was thinking when I leave for tour, we could write in them a little bit every day and then swap when we get to see each other, so we can kind of catch up.”

“Babe.”

He smiles wistfully. “I know we’ve still got a while. And I know we’ll talk on the phone and I know you’ll visit but… I’m gonna miss being a part of your everyday and you being a part of mine. And maybe this can give us a little of that back. And it’ll be nice to see how different our lives are from day to day but the emotions of missing each other and looking forward to seeing each other, that’s gonna be the same.”

“I think it’s a great idea and I love it and I love you,” you enthuse, setting the box on the table so you can get up and climb into his lap. You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I can’t wait to read what you’ve already written.”

He giggles, “Wrapped it last night after you fell asleep but after this morning, I had to crack it back open and add a little more.”

You exaggeratedly drop your jaw in faux shock. “There’s saucy content in my romantic journal?”

He snorts, pinching your ass. “Baby, think about our relationship and tell me how many G-rated memories you think we’ve had.”

“Guess you’re right,” you laugh, stroking your chin, pretending to think. “God, why are you such a slut for me?” He jabs your side as you dramatically try to escape his hold, yelping until he silences your protests with a soft kiss.

Hours later, after the two of you have finally taken successful pictures in the snow, cooked another simple but delicious dinner together and taken that bath he promised you hours ago, you find yourself on the couch once again with a mug of cocoa, watching Ash prod at the fire. He smiles at you before he moves over to the stereo to flip over the record you made him, pulling his cardigan tight around his broad chest.

“It got chilly tonight,” he comments as he shuffles into the kitchen to grab his mug out of the microwave.

You hold your blanket open for him in response and he settles in next to you, tucking the both of you in. You rest your head on his shoulder, watching the fire, listening to the music you fell in love to; though the temperature outside is freezing, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so warm.

The record spins the next song and your mind travels back to Ashton’s car the night of your first kiss. A thought enters your mind and you can’t help but share.

“Do you ever think about what you’d be doing right now if we hadn’t gotten together?”

He strokes your hair tenderly as he considers his response. “I try to go out of my way not to think of scenarios where I’m not with you,” he admits.

“I mean, it’s not my favorite topic either but it crosses my mind sometimes,” you shrug. “I probably would’ve moved back home over the summer. Lockdown was just so hard… I got so lonely and discouraged… felt like I was in freefall. I didn’t really have anything to keep me here, to ground me until I met you.”

He kisses your neck with a tenderness that suggests he believes he can retroactively heal the heartache you felt before he knew you. “I don’t really know where I’d be right now… I’d be trying my best. Like I was before I met you. And my life would have joy, I’d make sure of that. But the kind of peace I feel knowing you, the happiness that comes from my soul being recognized by yours every day that we’re together… I can’t imagine being fulfilled like that without you with me.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and you reach for his hand, squeezing it tight as if it’s the only anchor you have to keep you from drowning under the weight of his sentiment. “I wish I could think of a better word to describe it… ‘magical’ seems so trivial. But that’s what it feels like,” you muse. “How many things had to go right and wrong, how many choices we had to make and not make, all for our lives to line up perfectly so that we would meet and end up here? How can that not be magic?”

“I was meant to be on tour this summer,” he says quietly.

“What if I’d moved to LA a year earlier? A year later? Made different friends, friends that didn’t know you?”

“If our album had come out in 2019, like we wanted it to, we probably would’ve been on break when lockdown hit… I might’ve been stuck in Sydney this whole time.”

“Even something as simple as: what if one of us had skipped going to that party? I was still getting used to being social again, I almost didn’t go, I was so nervous.”

“Cal and I had talked about going to the desert that weekend,” he remembers. “At the very last minute, he decided he’d rather wait a week. Weather or something. I was only at that party because I went down my contact list texting around to see who wanted to hang out… I was having a rough time and I didn’t want to be alone, I needed to be out of the house.”

You lift your head to look at him. “You never told me that.”

“Didn’t seem important until now. What if someone else had replied first? What if I’d gotten caught in traffic and got there later? You were on your way out when we introduced ourselves.”

You grin at the memory of that night. “What if you hadn’t been wearing an insane looking pair of pants that made me take notice and stop to ask around about you?”

“What if you hadn’t been the most beautiful human I’d ever seen and I hadn’t decided I needed to know you?”

“Ashton.”

“Listen, I’m just recalling that night from my personal perspective here,” he teases, giving you a peck on the cheek.

You snort, getting back to your point. “Any of those things… if anything had been different, everything could’ve been different.”

“Glad it’s not.”

“Me too.”

Ashton sighs, slinging his arm around you, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t know if we thank the universe or the gods or our own intuition but it seems to me that things happened the way they did because we were meant to have this time together.”

“I agree.”

“All the shit that we had to go through… I’d say it was worth it to get here.”

“I agree.”

“I love you.”

“I agree.”

“Hey!” He protests.

You giggle, snuggling into him closer. “I love you too.”

--------------------------------------

Not entirely sure what my plans are re: continuing to use a taglist (would love to know your thoughts on that as well tbh) so keep your eyes open for future updates on that!

@hoodharlow @mashtonasfuck @pxrxmoore @bxcketbarnes @talkfastromance4 @camelliastreet @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @calumrose @irwindoll @in-superbloom @2fangirl4u @highstwildflower @bport76 @chamaleonsoul

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