#i might get a tablet just so I can draw when not at home

[fingertipsmp3]

Not to be all ‘I know better than a medical professional’ or anything, but I do think the people at Mabel’s vet are kind of useless

[peachesofteal]

That nurse au? Devoured it and it lives in my brain rent free. If Simon and Johnny notice the bruises on Nurse do they share looks? Maybe Johnny tries to gently ask about them? I loved this so much.

Anon is referencing this. The way nurse x ghoap has spread through my brain like a flesh eating bacteria is insane. And I can't actually answer this ask because I'm writing it as a fic but I'm happy to give you a little possible snippet/glimpse/ramble down below:

The tablet in your hand chimes, drawing your attention away from the vending machine and to it's far-too-bright-for-this-ungodly-hour screen, to where it displays a status change in red.

268: 38.5 degrees.

Fuck. You abandon your sub par dinner options for nearly sprinting to the room, slowing to a walk to take long, deep breaths before your knuckles are rapping on the glass. Get control of yourself. Simon is too perceptive. He will panic. It could be nothing.

You don't even bother acknowledging your thought process there, the truth that is starting to bleed from your heart, through your body like a disease. The reason why you check on them so often, the reason why you can't stop thinking about them, even when you're off shift. The reason why, when you go home in the morning to go to bed, you drift off thinking about Johnny's sleepy smile, or Simon's voice, humming in your ears.

"Hi." You whisper when you slip inside. He straightens a bit in the armchair, but you're happy to see he's using it as a recliner now, progress from last week when he wouldn't even let himself lean backwards, or fall asleep willingly.

His brow furrows above the black mask.

"Hey, everything alright?" Shit. You're not surprised, you were just in here, after all. Spending too much time sitting in the chair opposite him, next to Johnny, on your break before your patient fell asleep.

"Yeah, I ah... have to draw some blood." You really do not want to wake him up, or alarm Simon, but you also refuse to lie to either of them. You fire off a text to the attending on call, just to advise him of Johnny's temperature and the impending labs that he can expect, before sliding a drawer open as softly as possible and pulling out everything you'll need. You can feel his gaze burning a hole in your scrubs, his ever present scrutiny impossible to escape. Sometimes you think he might be reading your fucking mind.

"He just fell asleep." He protests, and you think, you imagine, that he's frowning behind the mask. You think you almost know what it looks like, strong mouth pulled downwards in consternation, wide jaw gnashed tight.

"I know, but he's running just a bit of a fever." He jolts, and you hold up a hand in caution. "It's not too high, so I'm not super worried, but we'll need to check his white cell count, just in case okay? And then we'll go from there."

"Post op fever is common." He repeats the words you told him last week, after Johnny's second surgery, the one where they went in for the pneumothorax complication, and you nod to reassure him.

"Right. So, just going to do a quick blood draw and get it downstairs so we can find out what's going on." Simon shifts uncomfortably, but nods. You squeeze Johnny's shoulder softly, before swabbing the spot on the inside of his elbow.

He blinks, eyes opening slowly, confused brow smoothing when he looks from his partner, over to you.

"There's our girl." He mumbles softly, and your face heats, eyes widening in surprise before you regulate your reaction. Simon coughs, loudly, and you shake your head with a nervous smile.

"Such a flirt, MacTavish." You tie him fast, fingers a little more clumsy than usual, off balance from hearing him say 'our girl', like you mean something to them. "I just need to get some blood and then I'll leave you in peace." He shrugs, but Simon grabs for his hand and squeezes it.

"Ah come on, Si." He slurs, but reaches to cup Simon's cheek over the mask, rubbing a thumb over the fabric.

"You're runnin’ a fever, Johnny."

"Ach. 's nothing." He brushes it off, but you watch how his eyes are slow to track Simon's movements. You casually glance at the monitor, noting his blood pressure.

"Could be." You assure him. "But can't be too sure, so we're going to check a few labs, alright?" He nods, sleepy, already falling back under, and you pull the needle, taping a small patch of gauze over the puncture in one fell swoop. “Alright. Let me run these down, and I’ll be back up to check on you in a bit.” You turn, stripping your gloves off into the trash.

“We’ll miss ye.” He whispers, and you roll your eyes playfully, even as your stomach clenches.

Simon’s eyes don’t leave you for a single second, not until the door is shut and you’re out of sight.

[actual-changeling]

do you ever think 'hey, how can i make the south downs cottage sad?' and then just. vomit onto your keyboard? no? just me? that's okay, i wrote it so y'all don't have to.

i just had the mental image of crowley crying in an empty cottage while curled up on the floor okay. i was choking on it and it was write or die.

-

Crowley bought a cottage.

Well, he bought a lot of things in a near-manic online shopping experience that lasted two days and included—among many, many other items—a piano, five different tablets, a new couch, several bags of tiny plastic babies, a silver snake statue, and a cottage.

The cottage. His cottage. A quaint, yellow cottage in the South Downs.

If you were to ask him why, he would make a number of different sounds before settling on 'just wanted a change of scenery'.

Scenery. It is not a lie as such, but it barely scratches the surface of the truth.

London is empty without him. Familiar streets turned foreign, St. James's Park might as well be a cemetery of memories, and the bookshop—

Crowley doesn't like to think about the bookshop. No matter what he tells himself or how many good days he digs up from the back of his mind, the safety of what had been theirs disappeared with him.

(He refuses to set foot in it almost as vehemently as he refuses to say his name.)

Moving with supernatural powers is easy, yet he still decides to drive the Bentley all the way down, watching as London disappears. A part of him hopes the emptiness in his chest might stay behind as well, but his eyes burn with the same weight of uncried tears as before. There is no place on earth without the ghosts of what could have been haunting it.

So he moves into the cottage.

Crowley steps inside for the first time on a sunny Wednesday afternoon, warmth flooding the still-unfurnished rooms, and it would take a mere snap of his fingers to fill the void, to turn it into a home.

Maybe, he thought right before entering, maybe it will fix things.

When he sinks onto worn wooden floorboards and draws his knees up against his chest, he almost regrets not going with him. He had hoped, fuck, he had hoped, like the fool he is, that maybe building something for himself would expel the deeply rooted loneliness keeping him awake at night.

It doesn't. Nothing ever will.

(Unless he comes back, unless unless unless, and he needs to believe he will, he will lie down and never get up again.)

Crowley owns an empty cottage, and he sits in its hollow heart and cries.

[randomyuu]

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[yanverse]

I’m curious how the yans would react to their darling suggesting being free use? Some of them would never act right EVER again; but I also think some would start out too nervous to make a move, but once they do it a few times, they become something of a menace.

prrrrr.......free use, you say? i have.......ideas >:) (lmk if u want more! <3)

Elias, Kaito, Lilith, Isabelle, Adrian, Nina

(cws: free use kink, domination, degradation, dressing up, fingering, overstimulation, messy sex)

Elias obviously needs to keep you around while he's working, and it just so happens that he's also in need of a good secretary for his practice. Win-win! He can have the best of both worlds: keep you close enough that he can see you whenever he wants, and you've got something to busy yourself with when he gives you paperwork--but aside from filing a few things you basically just get to mess around on the computer while he's in session. And unless you're into it, you won't be hearing any questionable noises and thumping through the wall--he's had to rebrand and lost some repeat customers, but he's a taken man now, so no more shenanigans.

Of course, that means you've got a much hornier, much needier cowboy on your hands than you're used to. He doesn't need to jerk off between clients or on his break anymore if the mood hits him midday--that's what he's got you for now, right? He can just waltz out of his office, tap you on the shoulder, and drop to his knees right there. Worried you'll get caught, that someone might walk in early or a solicitor will drop by? Then you just need to stay nice and quiet while he's under your desk. He might just end up leaving indents in the floor from the spurs on his boots, cause it's so easy and you're so accessible and you don't even have to stop working! In fact, if he's in the mood to tease, he might dangle the threat of stopping over your head if you don't keep working while he goes down on you.

But knowing him, there'll be an equal chance of him rushing over, locking the door to the office, and just throwing you over the desk like he can't wait a second longer to have you. There's a reason he's got so much time in between his clients, and it's because there's no better time to mess up his cute little secretary, and make sure you have to sit with his cum leaking down your legs the rest of the day.

Kaito has half a mind to just sit you on his lap all day. He doesn't have to go out for work, he barely leaves the house as is, and you're around each other most of the time anyways. Why not? He could game or tweak his latest sketches with you settled and comfy on his lap, his cock twitching softly inside you with those pretty mewls of yours perking him up. That, to him, is heaven.

If that's not the case, though, then sparing a hand to entertain you is just as good. Especially if you're in an argument, or if he's mad at you, or if he's just annoyed but not in the mood to talk about it. He doesn't even have to be paying attention, but more than likely you'll be begging for him to give you some.

With the spare seat next to him and his eyes glued to his computer screen, he only needs one hand to fiddle with his tablet pen as he shades his latest drawing. And all the while he has his fingers buried between your legs, his reactions minimal as you soak his chair with sweat and grab at his sleeve in desperation. You keep cumming all over yourself, you're a mess, and he's already gonna have to clean you up after so at least don't distract him. Each orgasm aches more than the last with overstimulation melting your brain into your skull, but you won't even stop him. You probably could, but why would you? He said it himself: he's gonna clean you up when he's done, you just have to wait until he finishes up. But knowing Kaito, odds are he's gonna make you much, much messier before he actually gets to that part.

Lilith loves providing for you. She loves to make you happy, to come home with money and food and love, and to shower you with everything she has without you having to lift a finger. You love her, you've done enough.

But when the opportunity to bus tables at her restaurant comes around, it's a hard deal to ignore. Extra income, extra time together, and extra chances for you to socialize and put in some hard work? If you're all over it then she can't exactly say no. A good girlfriend wouldn't say no to such a simple request. It may have her biting her nails at first, but seeing you succeed fills her with a feeling of pride that gives her an extra spring in her step on those extra-hard days.

But she's lucky that the diner has so few willing waitresses and such a small staff to begin with, because you two can get so close to getting caught with your pants down. She'd never consider getting off at work before this, but with you so present and available all the time...shooting her those lusty looks across the dining room, bending over just a little too far while you're cleaning tables, brushing by her just a little too close while she's taking an order...if she didn't pull you into the bathroom and push you up against the stall, she might just go crazy. Whether it's your hand up her skirt or hers down yours, it really doesn't matter--if you're going to let her touch you whenever she wants, then she has to take advantage of it. Nearly every break soon turns into a chance to get away, her lunch swapped out for a glorious ten minutes with your legs spread, body bent forward, and her tongue making short work of that promise you made that you'd stay quiet.

Isabelle isn't offered the suggestion of free use. You are free use. You're her toy, you're meant to be used, and you're smart enough to know that she doesn't take such a stance lightly. She's not fucking around with any of that touchy-feely, "casual dominance" crap. You'll know she's dominating you because she won't let you forget your place--look away for a moment, let your guard down, and you'll be pounced on before you can make sense of it. Even if she's just finished making you cum for every year you've been alive, she could very well come back into the room after a minute and decide she's not quite done yet. Bathing, showering, eating, sleeping, it's all the same. So long as you're still breathing, there's an incredibly high chance that you won't go very long without her weight pinning you down or your legs pulled apart for her to have a taste. But at least you're still alive, which is more than can be said for Isabelle's other playthings and romantic interests.

You would think that someone as poised, confident, and professional as Dr. Moorwell wouldn't be nearly as intrigued by the concept. Adrian is a romantic, after all--a chivalrous one at that--so you would struggle to imagine him as being so crass and self-indulgent with his lover.

Alas, he is. In fact, he's like a beast while in pursuit of it. Adrian loves to catch you while you're unawares; reading, reaching up for something on a high shelf, organizing his library, taking a sip of your drink, crawling under the sofa to retrieve whatever you dropped, the view makes him shudder and his belt comes off like the buckle is melting. There's always a touch first, a light tap or a brush down your sides to reassure you that it's him, but it's just a formality. The quick smack of his palm hitting your backside is the real test, because so long as your cute little squeal is followed up by a whine or a moan, he knows there's no risk. He can squeeze you, pull you apart, violate those precious, sacred spots so deep they've never seen the light, and it'll satisfy you to the point of making you gush all over him like he's turned the dial of a sprinkler.

At this point he might as well give you the title of housemaid. Your presence in his home reassures such tidy, homely feelings even amidst the stacked clutter and the piles of unread books. Besides, he'd have an excuse to put you in one of those silly, frilly costumes with the headbands and the wrist cuffs, and you could call him--w-well, it doesn't matter what you call him, so long as you prance around as happy and sweet as usual, and look at him with all that love in your eyes even once he's reduced you to tears and trembling legs.

Nina would be the last person to ever accept such a sinister request. Touch you? Unprompted? Without gloves, or a thorough hand washing, or..? You seriously think she would ever do such a thing on a whim?

That terrible attitude only lasts a few minutes, however, because her complaints are only a farce for how her mind has started working in overdrive. Because you like her enough to ask her for something so lewd. Because you think she's pretty. Because you look at her and think hot, wet thoughts despite her difficult attitude and her insistence on keeping everything clean. You desire her, and that's a feeling that's only come by on very, very rare occasions.

Hence why your request is fulfilled so quickly--like, less than twenty minutes quickly. Less than the time it would take for her to shower and scrub and go through her step-by-step routine in order to touch you, because the waiting is too agonizing and she just has to feel you. To feel your love and your beating heart in your chest, your pulse pounding all the way up your fingertips as you spread her open on your stupid, dirty, filthy hands. The only reason she'll allow it is just because it's you, but don't you dare get a big head! This is just more convenient for her. She'll just take a shower afterwards. But...well, you're coming with her. It'll surely be easier to clean up if you're already in there, so if you think your bathing time from then on is going to go uninterrupted, you'll be very sorely mistaken.

[the-s1lly-corner]

hi!! Can you do slenderman hc ?? Just anything silly :33

General slenderman headcanons

Currently writing this at 5am, HOORAY! At the time of writing this we'll be driving back tomorrow.. I am NOT looking forward to an 11 hour ride- but I do wanna get home and draw since I've left my tablet behind

Notes: reader is GN, mixed post of general slenderman hcs as well as romantic stuff

CWs: canon typical violence

Standard "force of nature" creature, he exists simply because of the rules of the universe at least in my headcanon for the whole.. creepypasta thing I'm cooking. He simply is

Feeds off of fear primarily, hence why he tends to stalk before attacking

Rarely actually needs to eat, in terms of "actual physical sustenance" (which.. is flesh!), but that doesnt stop him from stringing bodies up to send the message that he wants to be left alone

He is pretty much a recluse, hardly interacts with anyone and a lot of times they dont live for long after

Can manipulate his height!

Romantically, I always imagine him being a blend of.. devoted old lover and inexperienced

Hes never dated before and hardly ever gotten close with anyone, but then way he treats you reflects how people romanticize vampires. Devoted and "fancy", for lack of better wording

OOOOOOH before I forget he occasionally indulges you, definitely a weird sight to see THE slenderman lean into something casual or even something vaguely sweet or silly

Waves at you with his tentacles to get your attention

Doesnt speak much- though he can communicate telepathically! Only "normally" speaks if hes doing the thing where he rips his face open

"Normal" voice sounds more raw and guttural compared to the telepathic one

Clingy in the sense that hes always keeping eyes on you, making sure you're doing fine and not doing anything you're not supposed to- or at least what he thinks you shouldn't do

Oddly enough it takes a lot to get him jealous- he has so much patience and hes confident that you're his

That being said it's not wise to find out what DOES get him riled up

On days where he himself cant keep an eye on you, you might see a proxy in the distance- however really they're only sent if absolutely necessary and if for some reason you cant be trusted alone (distrust, needing extra assistance, ect ect, couple of reasons)

Acts of service and words of affirmation over physical touch, hes not much of a toucher a majority of the time

No lips so kisses is just him lightly bumping where his mouth would be into your lips/cheek

You can visibly see his cheekbones raise when you get him in a good mood- hes smiling :)!

[blakbonnet]

Artist of the Week!

So last weekend, I announced that I'd like to feature an artist every weekend for both new fandom joinees who might not have seen some of this art and older fans who like the nostalgia. This week's artist is Ash @aha-my-villainous-thoughts 💖 who also, wonderful that they are, agreed to answer a few questions for me!

Which App Do You Use To Draw When I’m at my big set up I use Clip Studio Paint, I love it so much. It’s very straight forward to dip straight in, has all of the bells and whistles you need from an elite drawing program, and the community elements where you can see assets and brushes is a lot of fun - although I still to this day have no idea how to earn coins to buy assets?! I use a XPPen Artist 15.6 Pro Graphics Tablet to draw into the program, although my best tip with graphics tablets is to get a screen protector, mine got covered in marks before I noticed. Recently I also got an iPad 10.9 to use as a digital sketchbook I can carry around, and while I am enjoying Procreate, I think CSP is a better art program overall.

Fave Brushes? On iPad I stick to the technical pen, studio pen and the soft airbrush, along with the textures and the light pen. I don’t think Procreate has great ‘painting’ brushes, whereas on CSP I would marry the Gouache brushes, I love how they blend and texture as you work.

Your favourite piece you’ve drawn? I’m a super self indulgent artist, I try to draw the kind of stuff I like to look at, so it’s a lot of colour, a lot of fabric and details. My fave piece for detail is the one I did for the OFMD RBB last year - Crescente Devotione, there’s a blushing sentient stool in it! For colour I’m in love with this sleepy time Ed in a lil negligee and a Holly Golightly eyemask, he's my lock screen because I'm trash.

Who harder to draw: Ed or Stede? Oh for sure Stede. I love Rhys Darby, but the man has like no lips. I stand by this meltdown.

One essential tip for beginner artists? Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t measure yourself against others - particularly when you’re finding your groove. Be self indulgent af. Also get a screen protector for whatever digital screen you draw on, and BACK. THINGS. UP. Whether in an online account, or on an external harddrive - or both?! BACK THAT SHIT UP.

Why OFMD? I’ve been in a few fandoms in the past, always as a pretty passive enjoyer, little fanart here or there, little fanfic sprinkled around, but there’s just something about the way this fandom feels? It feels like a group of friends who’ve got their own lives and their goals, but they still exist in each other's orbit, it’s like this feeling of returning home to somewhere you’re always welcome. There’s so many good moments in the show for both comedy and some gut wrenching pathos. Sign up for the hot guy in leather and get got by this beautiful delicate little love story. It’s something about queer joy of thriving, not just surviving. Something about finding love and romance no matter your age or what’s past before. Something about found family, and unlikely friendships, and community and silliness. I was already a goner when Taika put on the wig, but then when he teared up in a blanket fort while trying not to die? Excuse me sir, I did not need feelings that powerful. It was literally waking me up at night thinking about his last shot weeping in the nook - like are you kidding me?! I’m supposed to finish watching and be normal after that??

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset about a toddler taking toys that technically weren't mine?

Sorry for the length, I am incapable of being brief. Story involves me (26F), my coworkers L (23M) and K (34F) and my manager Y (62M). So I work at a small restaurant by a homeless shelter. It's not uncommon for these homeless people to go dumpster diving or yard sale hunting and sometimes bring us small things in return for a free meal or just as a gift.

One day someone brings Y a doll of Woody from Toy Story because she knows he has grandkids. He says his grandkids are grown now, but he'll still take the doll and find someone to give it to. He takes Woody to the back and sets him down to get a meal for the person, then forgets about him. Woody sits there for days, so I decide to have fun with him. I start hiding him around the store in places I know Y will find him. In the deposit box, behind a shelf, under a table- just being silly. M and K and Y all join in, and it becomes a fun game that we call "Where's Woody?". Even customers think it's a fun game and join in the search for Woody. Eventually another customer brings us a Buzz Lightyear doll to keep Woody company. The poses and hiding places slowly become more elaborate too. First they're hanging from the ceiling fan, then they're climbing the shelves in the walk in cooler, then they're having a romantic dinner date- it was a lot of fun. Definitely the highlight of my work day.

Then K's husband loses his job, and they can no longer afford childcare. So she brings her toddler A (4F) to work on her shifts. Whatever, A is generally well behaved and sits quietly and draws pictures or plays on her mom's tablet. But one day she's fussy and crying, and in an attempt to pacify her L gives her Woody and Buzz to play with. When I left that day she was still playing with them.

The next day Y told me A had another tantrum when it was time to go and she had to leave Woody and Buzz, so K asked Y if she could just have them. Y said he didn't mind, but Where's Woody was really my thing, so she should probably ask me if it was ok before she took them. And here's where I might be the asshole, because I said no.

My reasoning was 1) She would be in the store often and needed toys to play with while she was here, 2) We and the customers genuinely have a lot of fun playing Where's Woody, while a toddler would probably play with them for a few days then get bored of them, and 3) I assumed they just kind of belonged to me now since Y passed that judgement call over to me. But apparently I was wrong, because Y got annoyed that I said no, said it wasn't my place because they were given to him, so it's his right to decide.

The next day Woody and Buzz were gone, and I asked K and Y where they went, and they both basically said "you know where they went, just drop it already." Later that night K posted a pic of A at home holding Woody and Buzz on FB with a caption thanking Y for the presents. I tried complaining to L about how unfair it was, and that K and Y were being assholes. But he said that I was the one being an asshole who couldn't just let it go. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[solarpunkaestheticweek]

How do you do solarpunk aesthetic week when you live in a tiny apartment with no outside access? I always want to participate but I feel like most stuff y'all post is geared towards people who live in houses...

Hey, thanks for sending in the ask!

We put our heads together and came up with a few ideas for you!

Grow plants indoors! You could grow a few houseplants to green up your space, or even try growing some vegetables and/or herbs indoors! I've heard people have lots of luck with basil indoors, and my freshman year of college I grew cherry tomatoes and peppers in my dorm room! Maybe check out information on semi or full-hydroponic setups? You can also propagate a lot with a few cuttings and a glass of water! If you have a balcony with your apartment, that could also be a good place to grow flowers or vegetables--depending on the season and temps where you are, it might be a bit cold to start things out there right now, but you could always start planning!

Crafting could be another fun idea! You could try your hand at mending clothes, or making your own clothes from scratch! I (Ani) am learning crochet, if you wanna join me in spirit and pick it up as well! Kala/Fennopunk (who lives in a small apartment 👀) also knows a lot about crocheting, its a pretty nice winter craft! You could also try embroidery, so you can add unique designs onto your clothes! Other options are things like knitting, sewing, leatherwork, jewelrymaking, soap making, and maybe even woodworking or soldering if that interests you!

Learning how to repair tech would be cool! Honestly, learning how to repair anything sounds super cool and is pretty solarpunk! This can also kinda go hand-in-hand with learning how to build your own things (one of my friends knows how to repair and build computers, for example). Try finding some information on something you're interested in and going wild!

Decorate your home in a way that feels Solarpunk to you! Even if you don't get it all done during the event week, I think its definitely a nice way to bring joy! Look into ways your apartment can change with the seasons, ways to keep yourself cozy and warm in winter but cool and bright during the summer! If you get started, feel free to send in progress images, we'd love to see!

Guerrilla gardening! Winter's a great time to scatter wildflower seeds (at least here in the states for me) as it gives the seeds time to acclimate to weather conditions! if you want flowers in spring, you plant seeds in winter! Maybe find a place you wanna target if you go out, think about what seeds you want to plant, and start planning? Or if you have seeds on hand already, you know what to do! Honestly, I also kinda view picking up litter as hand-in-hand with guerrilla gardening, if you've got the vibes for that at all.

Build community with your neighbors! Even if its just saying hi, or talking about what you're up to!

Maybe guerrilla art as well? Moss graffiti, spray painting, or even plastering a couple of stickers up counts as solarpunk! I will give a general warning that doing stuff seen as illegal probably shouldn't be posted online, but hey, you can participate in the week without telling us what you do!

Speaking of art! Maybe you could make art at home! Whether you use chalk, or pastels, or paint, or pencils, or if you've got a tablet you can use--find some inspiration and draw! I've seen lots of people draw solarpunk fashion ideas, solarpunk building concepts, or just general vibe art!

You could also take a crack at writing! You could write a short story, or get started on a longer project idea! You could even just write worldbuilding-type stuff, like examples of event listings or building histories you imagine a solarpunk society would have, or ideas for holidays and festivals!

Learning an instrument feels pretty solarpunk to me! I (Ani) say this as someone who has 2 guitars around and has forgotten 80% of the stuff she learned in her lessons back in high school. Just in general, picking up an old hobby you miss, or starting a new one works great for this event honestly!

You can also check out the Apartment Solarpunk tag on the Practical Solarpunk blog, it may have more ideas for you!

We hope this helps! Either way, I hope you enjoy the event week!

[dragongirltail]

I hear that you like Microsoft Surface tablets. I'm currently setting one up for my friend, and I'm wondering what it is that draws you to them? I know it's Microsoft's "answer" to the iPad but haven't paid much attention to it since it's release

Oooo, loaded question that one! In truth, it's less that I like Surface tablets and more that there's nothing that does it like them.

The windows tablet market is a hellscape where most of what people use them for is lightweight chromebook note block stuff that requires little to no computing power, so most of what's available from most companies is just kinda meh.

You have tons of Lenovo/Thinkpad stuff that tends to run on pentiums and low power i3s and whatnot, it'll be able to play a youtube video but that's about it.

For higher performance there's like two or three models by lenovo, Dell has a few good ones, you can go the gamer route and buy an asus ROG thingie that looks gaudy and like it's made for 15 year olds, but either way you're gonna be running short on something if you just want something basic.

Gaming tablets are high in power but at that point you might aswell buy a laptop since the battery life is atrocious, the lenovo ones are alright but quite new and hard to get used, and I just dislike dell out of principle because they're a terrible company.

So that means generally the only real answer lies in Microsoft's lineup since they offer sleek but pleasant designs, and their performance isn't so through the roof that you can't use them without wall power, but still good enough to do general tasks and basic gaming which is exactly the sweet spot I'm looking for!

The personal answer here is that the surface Pro series specifically covers a large area of specific things I'd like in my secondary device: Portable, decently long battery life, good performance for how long it lasts.

The main purpose for wanting one is so I can use it to watch videos in bed before sleep on a larger screen, to be able to play basic games when I'm away from home, and as an auxilliary screen to put somewhere on my desk when I need it for other stuff like reference pictures or whatnot.

Having a touchscreen is a godsend there since it's so much easier to operate something with just bapping it with your fingers instead of operating a trackpad, keyboard, or mouse so it's the easiest choice for that kind of "no brain" use to me.

The other issue is price, since most of the other companies only recently jumped on the windows tablet bandwagon they're hard to get used, but surfaces are available online for cheap the further back in generation you go.

Currently I've got a Pro 7+ with an i7-1165G7, 16GB of ram, and 512GB of storage + a 128GB micro sd card installed. The i7 is an 11th gen intel model which means it has the blazing fast iris Xe integrated graphics and anything I can really see myself playing on this thing it handles swimmingly (minecraft, warframe, any game from like 6+ years ago).

Bought it for about 500€ last winter, which is extremely good value for what it is, seriously!

TL;DR: Surfaces are the least bad choice in the tablet/convertible market, they're expensive but previous gen models will still do all you'd ask from one without much issue.

[genericpuff]

Remembering My Roots - Rest in Peace, RateMyDrawings

I've talked about my old art before on here, but never really fully in-depth about the site that hosted it. I was reminded of it today while going through my FB memories and felt like I should actually write a true eulogy towards what once was.

Once upon a time, before LORE | REKINDLED, before Time Gate: [AFTERBIRTH], before I had even started drawing webcomics, I entered the world of digital art through one website - not DeviantArt, not Pixiv, but a little site called RateMyDrawings. Back in the day, it was one of the most popular browser-supported art tools, offering multiple different art tools that were, at the time, revolutionary. A flash drawing tool which could replay the progress of your drawing (but the tradeoff was that you had a limited amount of 'ink' aka recording data), a Java-supported tool that was essentially Photoshop Lite (but didn't come with the recording), and later, a more refined tool supported by HTML5 (?) that offered more 3D-like brush tools. There was also DrawChat, a live drawing flash tool where you could draw with others and chat.

And on that site, I created my first works of digital art. No drawing tablet, just a mouse and a loooot of patience. They'd host contests every now and then to win budget Wacom tablets. Sometimes I'd enter, I'd never win. I did eventually get my first drawing tablet, but by then, I'd moved on from RMD onto actual software such as GIMP and Photoshop Elements.

That site is gone now, one of the first art site deaths I'd ever experience in my teen years. I was around 12-13 when I started using this site and I adored it. When people talk about missing the 'tight-knit communities' of old, I don't think of DA, I think of RMD, my first home. Unfortunately, the site couldn't survive in the 'modern' era of the Internet, overshadowed by more advanced tools and art-sharing sites like Deviantart, Facebook, and Instagram.

But I did manage to backup some of my old art pieces before the site finally became completely shuttered in the early 2020's. For a while the site was awake but lacked any content or features, with a message from the site's creator Mick that it might come back, it might not.

It didn't. The old ratemydrawings.com URL now redirects to the inactive FB page. Any attempt to bypass that kill screen like before leads to an Error 404.

But while the site was in its comatose state - before it was shuttered permanently - I was able to access my old profile and extract some of my art pieces of old. I posted them to my FB about 3 years ago, and today they showed up in my memories.

I share a lot of art pieces from creators like Rachel Smythe in an attempt to preserve media. But I also need to remember to preserve my own. So here are a handful of the 100+ pieces I drew on RMD. Enjoy ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

Don't be confused by the '1987' part of the username, I picked that number because I was a huge Zelda weeb and 1987 was the year the first Zelda game was made. Whoof.

What's ironic is I actually didn't have the Featured Artist award last time I was actively on the site, so it clearly happened while I was inactive in its final days. The one award I wanted the most and I wasn't there to witness getting it. RIP.

Unfortunately that's all I really have in the way of high-resolution drawings as I wasn't able to preserve much else (though if I find anything more I'll definitely add it to this post!) That said, I was able to nab some screenshots of my homepage via the Wayback Machine where you can see more of the pieces I did back then:

There are so many dorky ass drawings here, some from Time Gate (because it's that freaking old!!!), some are screenshot recreations from anime that I enjoyed (a very common trend on RMD), some are collaborations. There was a point where I learned how to color with the mouse by using low opacity colors and layering them one at a time. Really upped my game there LMAO That Ocarina of Time Link drawing was the first one I ever did that made it to the front page of RMD and y'all, I was so proud, the site back then I think had 50k users total which is nothing compared to the Internet today, but achieving that was one of the greatest things ever LOL The Skyward Sword drawing that followed was one that really felt like a milestone in terms of my art evolution, I felt like I was finally creating something good. I believe I did that Skyward Sword drawing off another DA piece at the time, it was really common to do redraw challenges on RMD what with the technical limitations of the site - I suppose redrawing stuff I liked back then should have been foreshadowing LMAO

That feeling wouldn't last forever ofc once the art high wore off, but even to this day I look back on the pieces from that era fondly. It's where the mysteries of digital art finally started to 'click' in my brain, and I had still barely gotten started.

I also have a few drawings preserved that were done after I got my first drawing tablet, and you can really tell with the improvement of the lineart LOL That said, I think I was around 18-19 when I did these:

Now, one thing that I really enjoyed doing on RMD were collabs - specifically, trading collabs where users would exchange drawing files through the RMD PM system with one another to do steps of a drawing together. Often times I took the role of coloring other people's lineart pieces, which is probably where I started to really learn digital art coloring and come into my own with it.

A collab with user "lime":

Collab with user "Mikai":

A collab with user "Overik", which I specifically remember struggling with because, at the time, my computer monitor's screen was messed up resulting in the entire thing basically being a fluorescent pink:

A collab with "Mist04" that I don't remember doing lmao:

Collab with "Adzumi" (?). I'm fairly certain that's who it was, I definitely remember the process of painting this one, I had loads of fun with it:

Collab with user "ForgottenArtist", IIRC this one was more of a coloring page where they gave out the file freely for others to color, so this was my version. The forums on RMD were great for that sort of thing, people would literally just upload their drawing files for people to have fun with:

So I guess I drew this next little thing in 2021 when the site was still 'live' but not functional, I completely forgot I did this though LMAO Basically the main URL took you to that kill page I showed above, but if you knew any of the extension slugs, you could bypass that kill page and get into the rest of the site, which I was able to by using my username URL. So I got into the Java drawing tool and made this little thing in the hopes I could upload it. Of course, it didn't work, but hey, it was worth getting a screenshot, I suppose:

It's equal parts nostalgic and bittersweet to go through these drawings. Life back then feels so far away and yet I still remember it so vividly, the hours I'd spend drawing on the family PC, feeling more at home with the friends I made online than the ones I had in real life, listening to music that I still listen to to this day. It's far away now, but it still lives through me, in the work I do today. Even someone like me can go from being a complete noob drawing with a mouse to a professional making their living stabbing ink into other people while still drawing the same stories they drew as a child.

There is one piece I had to dig up outside of FB memories, fortunately it wasn't hard to find because I knew I had shared it ages ago on my FB so the search bar saved my skin. My very first digital art piece, of Sheena Fujibayashi from Tales of Symphonia, one of my favorite games of all time.

My very first digital art drawing:

Recreated in 2019:

Past me went through a lot, and they'd be doomed to go through even more still (they hadn't hit the plague yet). And yet they're going to survive, they're gonna keep getting better and better with each passing year. Thanks past me - you've done a lot of dumb shit in your life, but sticking with your craft wasn't one of them. Thank you for walking - through all the good and the bad that you've had to weather through - so that I could run for us both.

[homunculuslover]

Oh lord... I'd love to know about all of them, but let there be Anyma

So, I made Anyma in 2019.

She originally started that she was going to be a sona off me considering I'd been wanting to make my sona originally like that. One who's silly, spontaneous and can be a threat.

But my lee side made my original sona into such a target for tickles, whilst Anyma is so much different. She was a random mysterious person who I was honestly unsure what her story would be or if she'd even have a story. She was originally made just to target people. Whether they were random people I drew for her to get or other people's OCs. That's how it started.

As a little time went on, I liked her interacting with me and I'd imagine the conversations we'd have and such. I've even done some comics with my sona and her. But I started to think about a real story about her. Who she was. Originally, she was going to be me, but I pushed that idea away pretty quickly. She was hiding her identity for a reason with the mask.

The thing is, there's still a lot of me in Anyma. I tend to do that. Anyma reflects not only my love for tickling, but she reflects a lot of other things. She was my way of showing the whole androgyny I felt for years. Making this skinny flat chested woman would liked wearing classy clothing that made her seem very masculine, but still had that femininity about her in a way. People said she was REALLY skinny with how I drew her. So I pondered more about her.

I built my story on her from the questions I'd throw at my characters. Why are they driven to being like this? Were they wronged in some way? Are they hurting? Are they just doing it for laughs. Her story is still being worked on. (Though I can't give a hell of a lot of details) But I can say is, Anyma has trauma and it shows in her lack of sleep and her anorexia. She is out to torment the world who wronged her and she's laughing along side her captives. She's not so much after world domination, she just wants to rattle people and she's doing just that with her hidden identity and her methods on keeping herself hidden along with her inventions.

Thing is, I say my characters are a slow build on their stories. It might be a little quicker than others. I've got years of media behind me that has been huge inspirations for me. ^^ What's funny is...Anyma was made on a whim. In 2019, I got a new job in march and I hadn't drawn in months. So much so, my tablet had a layer of dust on it after a few months and it upset me that I wasn't drawing. I was just going to work, coming home, eating, sleeping and rinse and repeat. I hadn't drawn just anything. I hadn't drawn the thing that drives me everyday....tickling.

So, I sat down and figured, "I think it's time." I finally wanted to make THE character. The character I'd been wanting to make years ago, the character who was originally going to darken people's doors when I came to the community.

And thus, Anyma. Hahahah. I hope that helped. XD

[sora227]

Egoist.

COOL TAGS IG: Akitoya woooo, Ena tries her best, I hate Shinonome Dad, VBS cool, totally NOT inspired by the new-ish cover uuhhhh TW: emotional abuse, physical abuse (not graphic), depression (oh no), suicidal thoughts?

____________________ fic start! ____________________ “Dude, I’ll see ya later!”

Shinonome Akito waved to his partner, Toya. They were walking home from their practice session, and they arrived at Akito’s house. Toya reached over for a high-five, and the ginger happily slapped it. He turned around, still smiling. Staring at his house, he was feeling good enough not to go inside. I wish…

Akito felt different. No, no, this isn’t like the “I’m not like other people” things. He really isn’t something special. Hell, that’s one of the reasons he hates himself. His voice, his personality… it’s not interesting enough. He’s not good enough for anyone, especially not himself. And his parents, and his sister, his bandmates… that’s it? He’s such a fucking loser.

Back to the point. He doesn’t know what this feeling is, nor does he remember when he started feeling it. It has felt there since forever… but he knows it definitely started this year. A sinking feeling that shatters him from the inside out. It hurts. It hurts a lot. But he keeps on swallowing it, keeping it inside of him. 

Whatever. I mean, the others didn’t seem to mind. Well, maybe Toya did. But he left now.

Holding his breath, he stepped into his home, getting hit with the dull aura in it. He quietly walked around, making sure not to disrupt the one that might be there. Was his father here…? Akito checked the living room, where his dad usually was seen working on a piece. Nope. 

He sighed, untensing. Walking upstairs, he opened the door to his room. Throwing his bag inside it, he decided that he might as well visit his sister, who was probably eating her “breakfast.” He knocked on the door to Ena’s room twice, signaling that it was indeed Akito, and not their parents or something. He heard a groan, before the door clicked open. He stepped back to make space for the pouting Ena.

“Why are you here?” the older one placed her hand on her hip. Her expression was akin to one of annoyance. She was wearing a long sleeved green shirt with exposed shoulders, and black shorts. Her hair was slightly more tangled than usual. Akito was just wearing his school uniform, as today he was too lazy to change for practice. Ena looked Akito up and down, waiting for him to respond. “Well? I don’t have all day.” 

“Um…” Akito opened and closed his mouth. He never was able to like- speak. I mean, no duh he can speak. But it doesn’t feel normal to speak about his problems. It doesn’t usually come out. And if it could, it never would anyways, because of his stupid little ego and his self-deprecation. His problems don’t matter, and people would stare at him in pity… ugh, it sucks just thinking about it. Seriously!

Ena sighed. “Get in.” She seemed to understand… Akito stepped into her room. It was filled with paintings, but other than that, her room looked average. And her bed was messy. He looked at her drawing tablet. It was filled with sketches of some new animation she was working on.

“Which one’s your favorite?” He turned around, spotting Ena. He then proceeded to look around. A flower. Gray clouds. A sunset. A very twisted version of her room. All of them were great, which made him wonder why their father hated them. But the one that caught his eye was one of her bandmates she talks to on Nightcord. He knew all of them. But this one was different… they were all marionette puppets? Oh, he knew that song that they made.

“That one? I know you saw the pv, so maybe that’s why…” Ena pondered upon it. Akito never really needed to speak around Ena, she usually knew what he was thinking. Usually. Sometimes, she gets it wrong, but that normally doesn’t happen. Okay, it happens at least once every week. But still. 

Akito nodded, staring at it. Asahina-san was the one that wrote the lyrics, no? They were dark, but… they felt real. Almost as if Asahina knew how he felt… a little. And Akiyama’s outfits look pretty awesome. It’s Akito’s job to judge people’s outfits, so that compliment is a lot. Yoisaki’s music fit the tone, too. Maybe he should try writing something like that… oh, who is he kidding! He already writes like that. Hey, maybe he should show some of his songs to Ena.

Remembering Ena, he turns around. She was sitting in her chair, drawing. Akito walks over to the corner he usually goes to. He sat there in his sister’s room multiple times before. Usually to escape his dad. He eyed down an empty sketchbook. He hated it.

You see, the two siblings pretty much had switched talents. Akito is naturally talented at art, but enjoys singing more. Meanwhile, Ena has a natural talent for music, but clearly is very passionate about painting and sketching. It’s a curse to both of them. They are stuck in the game of jealousy, because what else could they feel?

Akito kept on staring at the notebook. Might as well… he grabbed a pencil from his pocket and started sketching. If there’s one thing that he and Akiyama agree on, it’s fashion design. Although Akiyama prefers cute outfits, and Shinonome more street-style, they still agree on most things. Hey, maybe he should try drawing something cute and show it to them… they would be happy, although they might invade his personal space…

He starts with an oversized hoodie. Scratch scratch, the pencil lightly rasped the paper. He’s definitely going to add some charms with that. He adds some shorts. Um… what else? Akito isn’t really enjoying this right now. Maybe another day, when his motivation changes. He erases the drawing and starts again.

A regular shirt. The belt is high, and the shorts are short. He adds a little design in the front. Now, what can I do to make it look more unique? Akito looks around. Ena’s curtains are a little ripped. He thinks about that. He could make the shorts slightly ripped, but it would be too basic. Maybe the sleeves? No, too weird. The hems? Make it slightly ripped, it’s unique, and not too weird! Akito smiled, erasing the bottom of the shirt to change it.

He doesn’t remember what happens next, but 4 pages are completed, filled with outfits. He’s a little tired of that, though. Maybe a grayscale image of something? Uh, he doesn’t know… Akito closes his eyes. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Toya. It’s Toya. Why the fuck did Toya have to appear first? Akito sighs, but goes to draw the bi-colored haired boy anyways. 

Akito doesn’t know how, but the entire page is filled with Toya after seemingly 12 seconds. All. Of. It. Toya smiling, Toya writing, Toya playing some arcade game. Geez, is he that down bad? 

He already knew about his feelings for the other, so it isn’t something new. But the fact that he can draw Toya perfectly simply by thinking about him is a little concerning. 

CRASH. Akito jumped an inch in the air. Instantly looking up, he squints his eyes at the sight. Ena broke a vase, probably pissed over a drawing she made. She was breathing heavily, tears in her eyes. It stopped his creative moment. That might be selfish of him, thinking that, but it’s true. He stomped his foot, clearly angry.

“What’s wrong now? You scared the fuck outta me!” He crosses his arms. Ena looks over at him. She snarled at him. Yup, she’s in those moments again. His dad does, his sister does, and he himself has these times where they… kinda get in their feelings and lash out at whatever is nearby. Definitely not healthy.

“Why are you still here? It’s been a damn hour. Dad hasn’t been here yet, either!” Ena stood up, placing her hand on her hip, “What the hell have you been doing?” Akito rolled his eyes. This bitch… tryna tell me what to do? 

“Stuff. Why is it your business?” Akito scratched the back of his head. How was he going to leave right now? He’ll try but… “Because it’s MY ROOM!” Ena broke a pencil, trying not to break entirely down. Akito got up as well, clutching the sketchbook. She’s really in it, huh?

Upon seeing the sketchbook, Ena’s face scrunched up even more. “Why the FUCK DO YOU HAVE MY SKETCHBOOK?” Her rage practically consumed her whole as she ran towards him, snatching the sketchbook as Akito tensed. “THIS IS MINE, NOT YOURS YOU FUCKER!”

“But-” “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” Ena shook Akito, causing him to feel slightly nauseous. “Are you trying to fucking SHIT ON ME?” What? He was pushed onto the wall, causing his shoulder to hurt slightly. He wasn’t shoved that badly, considering the fact that Ena barely ever went outside, but maybe it will leave a bruise.

“I WORKED. SO. FUCKING. HARD TRYING TO DRAW, BUT OUR STUPID FATHER CAN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT.” Ena threw the sketchbook across the room. “AND NOW YOU COME IN WITH YOUR LITTLE TALENTED ASS TO FUCKING TEST ME?” So that’s how she feels? “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Ena shoved him out the door and slammed it.

He never got to see the sketchbook again.

-

Akito didn’t come out for dinner after that. He locked himself in his room for the rest of the day, and hoped it would stay that way. The entire time he was practicing, practicing, because he has to get better. Everyone he knows is talented in Vivid Bad Squad except for Akito. He knew that. Even when the other members of the squad told him he was wonderful, they were clearly lying. After all, everyone else says otherwise, right? Even his father tells him how untalented he is…

So, he must keep practicing! Even if his throat starts getting sore, he must. Then, he can catch up to the other members and help them surpass RAD WEEKEND. And if he doesn’t… Well then, he could just leave. He doesn’t want to keep holding them back. Especially Toya.

His voice cracked at one part. No, restart again. He made sure his voice was slightly softer in that part so it wouldn’t kill him. Good. He continued, making sure he hits all the high notes and does the low notes well. But he continued after that. He practiced solely on Fragile. It was a song Akito wrote about his partner. A fuckin’ love song. And yet the taller man still did not take a hint. An just patted his back when that happened.

It hurts knowing that he’s the one that’s stopping them from achieving their dreams.

Eventually, he stopped, only to get a drink of water. A small, tiny break. He chugged it, before checking his phone. Just a message from Kohane talking about the next practice session. He was going to start again, when he heard his door open. “Finally, Akito, you stopped with your racket.” Well, fuck.

He turned around to see his father, the one and only Shinonome Shinei, with his arms crossed. Akito squinted his eyes. “Why are you here?” He said, with a bit too much sass. Oh, he’s screwed. His father shook his head. “I live here, imbecile.” Oh look, now he’s using this tone too! I’m fucking dead, Akito thought.

Akito slammed his water bottle down on the counter. “Okay, but what do you want?” He turned around, trying to hide the fact he was trembling. A sign of weakness. His father sneered. “I was going to remind you again to not do what you call ‘practicing’ after 9 pm, but it seems you finally took my advice for once.” 

He better not notice I’m shaking here, Akito thought. He bit his lip, “So you came to insult me again, but decided against it ‘cause I shut up? How kind of you.” His father tightened his fist, not a good sign. “I’m not insulting you, I’m simply telling the truth. You have no talent singing. You are mediocre at best. There’s no point in chasing dreams that cannot come true.”

Akito’s lips formed a straight line as he gritted his teeth. That old hag- trying to tell me what to do? But the thing is, he wasn’t wrong. Akito wasn’t terrible at singing, no, but he was plain… nothing. He had nothing interesting in his voice, it wasn’t deep and unique like Toya’s, it wasn’t loud and accented like An’s, and it definitely wasn’t high pitched and dramatic like Kohane’s.

He’s good, but not good enough.

But he’s also very, very selfish.

“But can’t you get this in your stupid head for once? I am NOT going to back out of singing! It’s been my dream for so damn long, and I’ve… I’ve worked so hard! I CAN’T JUST BACK OUT NOW! I can’t leave my friends, unlike you I’m not shitty! Well, maybe a little, but I- I just don’t want to! I love music with my heart! And that will NEVER change!”

Shit. He blurted that out. He started mentally listing all the worst possible outcomes that will occur. Why did I do that, why did I do that, why- His father stepped closer to him, causing him to brace in preparation of what will happen next. Oh, he knows damn well what will. 

“You dare speak back to me, boy? I am your father, I know what’s best for you. Singing will just let you down because you’re not talented enough for it. Your drawings are an actual work of art, better than your sister’s! And yet, you still throw away that talent of yours!? Useless child, only good enough to talk back to his parents. Why are you doing this, huh? HUH?”

Akito stood there, dumbfounded. He could hear his father’s breath ringing in his ear. His own was getting faster. His mouth felt stuck together like someone glued it together. “I… I-” He managed to blurb out, his eyes widening even more.

“I what? Are you worthless enough that you got scared? Scared of WHAT? This is your fault, you NEVER listen!” He’s right. He’s right, I am worthless. I don’t know why- His dad. Was just. His hand went up and. 

Akito just closed his eyes, accepting his fate. All he could do was sit and hope it ends soon.

-

He was gone. It was over. Right? Akito doesn’t know. He “wakes up” crouched on his bed. 

The entire experience was a blur. He doesn’t remember most of it. All he knew was pain, and then he ended up lying against a wall, then his hand hurt, then this, then that… all in tiny fragments. Now he was conscious, and trying to locate his mind.

He was hyperventilating in silence. His chest hurt as it went up, down, up, down. In, out, in, out. Everything was fine! Totally. What happened? He knows his dad came, they had a fight. Then his dad used all his anger out on him, and now he just left. Bye-bye.

Oh, right. He got hurt. Akito searched for any wounds. His face was hurting like a bitch right now, so that must be the main point where his father hurt him. He felt a lump on his cheek, ouch that hurt so much, make it stop make it stop- yup, that definitely needs covering. 

He notices a mark on the wall, and his hand hurts as well. So maybe when he was in that spiraly-state, he punched it…? Nothing new, anyways. He also felt a part of his hair… feel weird. It was more tangled than the rest of his orange locks. He must’ve tugged at it a lot then.

Still nothing new.

Akito, still trembling, scooted over to his phone. He checked notifications again. An posted a  picture of a hamster giving a thumbs-up. He smiled slightly at this. Toya responded with just a “K”. Goddamnit he loves him so much. Akito snapped a close up at his eyes, making sure the wound isn't visible in the picture. He sent it to the group chat.

Akihoe

*Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS sent an image.*

k bbgs

The first to respond was An, totally falling for it. Akito laughed at the message.

Annie Slammy

TOP TEN SCARIEST JUMPSCARES, NUMBER ONE 😱😱😱

Kohammy

shinonome-kun, that scared me a little!

NOT Piano Man

Akito, why did you take a photo of your eyes?

Akihoe

why not?

NOT Piano Man

Understood.

Can we talk privately?

Akito frowned. Is Toya dealing with his father again?

Akihoe

sure!

Looking over at the other unread messages of his, he saw one from Ena

Enanan

I’m sorry.

…

Akito ignored it, he can’t deal with that right now. He continued looking at others.

Amia

lil’bro, you good?

Seriously? Why now? He sighed, going to him and Toya’s dms.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

here! what’s up? 

Toya.

Akito, you’ve been acting strange lately. What’s wrong with you? Right now, I mean?

Well, shit. Akito gulped, trying to think of an excuse. Too much homework? He usually just doesn’t do half of it, so it's not viable. Tired from practicing? He does it too much, but would never admit it. Nervous about a test? Nah. Sister in hospital? Akito doesn’t want to pull a Tsukasa, although his sister was actually in the hospital. Now she’s out. Sick? No thanks.

Toya seemed to notice Akito’s silence, because he responded with a:

Toya.

I understand you’re not good at expressing your emotions. I just don’t know how to help you, no matter how much I want to.

Akito felt a pang of guilt hit his heart. Ouch. He never thought Toya felt like this. His lips pressed into a line as he thought. Feeling overwhelmed, he was tired of it all, pretending and shit, but he can’t speak about it, so… He just needed some advice.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

How then?

It took a little while for Toya to respond, leaving Akito feeling worse than before, but when he did, it surprised the ginger a little.

Toya.

Well, if you can’t just talk to someone head-on-head about it, why don’t you try writing a song?

Huh? Yeah, he’s written plenty of songs before. His head swivels thinking. A lot of people liked Cinema. But sometimes he has to censor half his thoughts. They usually aren’t as bad as they could be, but sometimes he lets a lyric or two slip by. No one seems to care.

Seems. But they probably did care.

Akito texted back.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

i already do though?

Toya.

I know, but only when you feel like it’s important enough. Even if you’re simply sad about something, it’s best to write it down at that moment and capture it.

Ouch. That hit like a truck. Toya’s not wrong, though. Akito never really notices his feelings, it’s just practice, practice, practice, Toya, Ena, his dad, Toya, his idiot dad, practice, Ena, Toya, work, Vivid Bad Squad, more practice, Toya, Toya, Toya Toya Toya.

Toya. How does he manage to understand? This could also help him write better songs. More practice. Maybe Toya isn’t wrong. But again, when is he ever wrong? Akito’s heart skips a beat. He’ll take this small, good feeling and cherish it. It’s what he needed.

Shinonome Akito - BAD DOGS

Thanks partner. that helped.

Toya.

You’re welcome, Akito.

Akito smiled, before shutting off his phone. It was night. It’d be better if he slept, so he might as well go to bed. It’d be better if he slept forever and never woke up, but Toya… Ena wouldn’t forgive herself. He’ll definitely stay a while longer. And he’ll take up on that songwriting idea, too. He shouldn’t let his small, okay enough talent go to waste.

He feels a bit selfish for wanting this slight warmth to stay forever.

How egoist.

______________________

Author's note: Holy shit Sora actually posts her emo Akito fanfic??? God damn. I'm so nervous to post this wtf help help throws up sobs pls go well pls go well pls- but thanks for reading!

[jjaydazo]

Updates

I'm alive.

You can see that when I sometimes reblog.

I want to post some art but most of it will be warm up art.

I've been drawing on my phone since 2021? And since my phone got broken I can't draw on it like I used to. ( for fuck sake, I paid 2k for it to get fixed, and it's not working the same, )

I'm trying to adjust myself and draw on my drawing tablet. Given I wasn't to it as I sometimes cramp to it.

I'll be upgrading my commission rules. Like adding more info about adding a character to draw. (My dumbass forgot) and add "self insert" to "what I can do" so look forward to that.

Apart from anything else, right now I'm studying animations and 3D modeling, so you might see those in some Frans contents hopefully heheh.

So far I still love Frans. I have wip artwork for the recent Frans month prompt. Hope you guys are still going strong, with everyone else busy as I see some Frans breadcrumbs. (That or I'm just not active in Tumblr)

Frans shippers have mostly moved on, found something interesting, they don't have time cause they hit college, and busy working, or some health issues.

But despite all, Frans still sparks me with determination. I hope future artist and writers would be too as well.

Other of my interest like sky kids and welcome home, I might be hiatus on ski kids contents. Welcome home however, I have a comic ready that I couldn't finish from my now broken phone

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Alright, okay, hear me out

The turtles with cloaking broaches

Go WILD

I just want to start off by saying sorry (this is so late... like over 20 days late)

I feel like Donnie would immediately enroll in college 

Mans has been waiting for this day for years and nothing can stop him

Mikey would try and get his art out there 

He’s been running an art account since Donnie made him a drawing tablet when he was 5

(Raph the account to make sure he wasn’t posting anything too revealing and showered every single post with praise) (Leo wrote all his captions to make sure it didn’t sound like a 5-year-old wrote them) (and Donnie deletes every single negative comment before Mikey could read them)

He’s grown a mighty fanbase that has followed him from just about any social media you can name (he tends to leave an app when it gets too toxic) 

And after 6 months of getting his cloaking broach, he announces that he has an art gallery (that Donnie fully funded of course)

(can this actually happen? I have no fucking clue but I like to pretend it could)

Raph and April start restoring all of Splinter’s old dojos

They slowly but surely start to pass down all of the important stuff Splinter has taught them

And it becomes the most popular dojo chain in New York

I like to think Leo would just live his life 

He didn’t do anything with the broach the first year he had it 

He didn’t even touch it 

But with Splinter’s amazing intuition (and Donnie hacking Leo’s phone and looking at his Pinterest) the whole family discovered Leo’s bucket list 

One day the family confronted him and asked why he never left?

I mean come on he owns swords that could take him to any corner of the globe and he’s got a bucket list the length of the Nile

and he essentially says that he’s terrified 

He wants to leave but he also doesn’t want to miss out on the important moments 

Splinter is getting older and he doesn’t want to take the little moments for granted

He can get home the moment he finds out Donnie is graduating or Mikey is opening a second gallery but he won’t be there for the little things

Like the group finding the people they want to spend the rest of their lives with (romantic or platonic he doesn’t care) or when they move into their forever homes 

And he’s not going to see their reactions when the big news arrives 

He might get a call or got forbid a text 

but he knows for a fact that someday he won’t be the first person his family calls when they get exciting news because he’ll be in a completely different time zone 

and that’s mortifying 

And Splinter sits him down and essentially tells him “I would rather you love me from the farthest place you can imagine than have you slowly start to resent me for not being able to live your life”

Now don’t get me wrong those words weren’t a cure-all but they did ease some of his very obvious worries

He does slowly start to travel more and more 

And eventually, he spends days and weeks away from home 

and he misses some big and small moments but it doesn’t affect him as much as he thought it would 

because there are moments that Donnie Mikey Raph and April missed and they were living within five minutes of each other at the time 

and he’s weirdly okay with that

[gecko-in-a-can]

Hi hello yes my beloved mutual, my ADHD brain decided today was the day I wanna make an earnest attempt at art. Do u have any tips I'm gathering tips and references like a goblin until I get home

absolutely! First off: YAAAAY IM SO GLAD!!! I hope you have fun with it, art can be as frustrating as it is rewarding, but so long as it brings you joy then that’s what matters!

As for tips, I can only speak from a personal degree but here’s what helps me:

don’t be afraid to use reference! I generally use at least four different reference pictures for my drawings, many of which are for different sections of the body/setting.

experiment! No art style is going to start out where you want it, so have fun with it! Try new techniques and methods, you might find something you really like!

ALWAYS DO WARMUPS AND TAKE BREAKS! Both warmup drawings and stretches! Your wrist/shoulder/arm is going to get sore after a while, so don’t be worried to set your tablet/pencil down for a minute to rest! This also works when you’re frustrated with something you’re drawing. Sometimes you just need to take a step away and come back later with fresh eyes and fresh ideas!

when it comes to warmup drawings you can have fun with it. Draw silly guys, practice shapes, do random doodles, it’s just to get yourself ready for your project so have fun!!!!

watch other artists draw. There are a lot of artists on YouTube (I personally usually go to Drawfee) who show their process!

draw things you like! Things that bring you joy! Things that make you happy to see!