#i miss being in campus!!!!
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I miss being in college what the heck
#post business school ramblings#like college was SO hard im glad i never have to take a math class again#(for now at least ill go back in a few years for an MBA)#and i have a great job i wouldnt give up for the workd#but i miss working on campus and living with my best friends#miss my supply chain internship and dealing with the terrible organization lol#miss living in the dorms and listening to music and playing my wiiu on my crappy tv or projector#i just miss the vibes of being on campus without actually having the classes
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Everyone gets more ttrpg art I think about this place 24/7 forever!!
#cape kids#my art#various other characters in this belong to bodbdearg + lyltinc + arcanagoat + dindleseed and then a whole bunch of people not on Tumblr!#my guy is the one in the orange hoodie and she's SILLYYYYY (fighting for her life)#guys I miss being insane about drawings and characters its been so freaking long since I was insane about drawings and characters#literally collapsing on the groundddd I need to be working on a stupid big drawing like all the time. for enrichment in my enclosure#im doing a really big personal project rn but ive also been wanting to draw the pit for a while....we will see......#also not shown in the drawing is me skulking around the biomedical engineering building on campus for inspiration LMAO
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as a Many Live Shows Of Band Attender… would you like to give us some Beloved Memorable Live Show Moments (loosely structured as a “top” five if you so choose) (i had ee in mind when asking this but feel free to include duncles or whomever as well)
LIVE SHOW MOMENCEEEE let's GOOOO
no reptiles at jacaranda baltic in liverpool on the mountainhead warm-up tour. 450 people in a little blue-tinged basement going absolutely mental. at one point jon growl-yelled FUCK off-mic because the energy was just So. waaaagh
no reptiles manchester night 2 of mountainhead tour proper, where jeremy took his in-ears out and stared out at the crowd singing back sort of... stunned? appreciative? i think about it a lot
pre-show in leeds when @shallowtboy and i started chatting to this kid and his older brother and all trying to decipher the setlist together with the power of iphone zoom (said kid also yelled PETE! I LOVE PETE when pete came out to do his set-up stuff and OH it made my night. you and me both brother)
general point: the fact that alex always seems to be smiling about something or other during the beginning of your money, my summer. not sure what that's about but it replenishes my soul nonetheless
tin (the manhole) at exeter phoenix, because it just IS, isn't it
BONUS: the time at dutch uncles in nottingham when panto pete pointed at me accusingly from the stage, of COURSE
#hashtag real talk#asks#i love these asks a whole lot thank you#not featured: the time i managed to punch shallowtboy's glasses off by being too enthusiastic about photoshop handsome#jon drinking white claw on stage in nottingham#first time they ever played canary at stockport plaza and i couldn't stop laughing at how hard pete was going on the keys#aaaalllllllll the time ive spent directly before/after ee gigs just Mucking About also. god#(when we were kicking a rock around leeds university campus)#(lmao it smells like weed... about 5 steps later we discover the source of the weed smell and oh hang on wait a fucking minute)#(GETTING REALLY INTO MAKING PLANS FOR NIGEL ON THE PRE-SHOW PLAYLIST)#tl;dr i miss tour. weh
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THE RAMPS ARE TOO FUCKING STEEP ON THESE GYMS.
THEY JUST SLAPPED A BANDAID OVER A LEAKING TANK PRETTY MUCH. HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO GET UP THESE ON A WHEELCHAIR.
*growls* IM SOMEWHAT OF AN ANGEL OF DARKNESS ALLY…..DISABLED PEOPLE….YOU HAVE MY SWORD!!!!! 🗡️
#ooc: places in the pokemon world being inaccessible is a rlly hit or miss topic to me#ooc: sometimes it just really makes me uncomfortable#ooc: but I thought about my college campus and had to voice my concerns via gym complaint /lh#ooc: and also I need alphonse to go back into shitpost territory#ooc; I get second hand embarrassment from writing them#dubious disc#rotomblr#pokeblogging#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#unreality#alphonse world tour arc#ableism cw
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i don't wanna take over the world, it sounds like a lot. but you know, laying siege to a golf course sounds really nice sometimes
#just me hi#i'm giggling thinking about it hfbvhs#you can use the sandbanks for cover and if you plan far enough ahead you can start farming around those little ponds#and you can steal golf balls :D and use them as currency ?? or just collect them :3#and you could use the tennis ball guns to shoot the balls at people of course!! and you're supplied with sticks when you get there !! free#weaponry !! :D#and if you can hold out for long enough you could start planting rose and blackberry bushes in places they wouldn't look#why? bc roses Always Come Back#and blackberries will take a minute but who can get mad at a blackberry bush !! nature's surprise :D#oh and of course you could have a noble steed too (golf cart) !! :DD#and you could make the building a castle#and make a little gnome town in the fields once the battle is over#OH you could build a miniature golf in and around the town too :D for the funsies#/places are very cool i like places#could some be used better? oh yea for sure#i have dreams for abandoned malls hfvbs - some of my favorite places ever#that's one big odd thing i want. to have a mall to live in hfhs :3#is it a lot of space ? ye. but it's also SOO much space.. the possibilities !!#//anyway i Need to go for a walk in a city sometime soon lol#i miss the riverwalk aaa#GASP campus martius during the winter. my dearest#i didn't realize the threshold for being a city was so low lmao ?? like man these are just big towns what is this hfvbsh#//but aside from the city pining MAN#i got to drive earlier today ('got to' they put me in the seat and it wasn't very fun hfvbshf) and oooohhh#you know that feeling on a roadtrip when it's all worth it for just a little while.maybe when you broke over the top of a hill or looked up#from whatever you were doing to find a storm ahead and the rear lights of the cars seemed to blink in agreement with how gorgeous it all is#just that hfbsh :3#i like places a lot. sobs [<- crying candy hearts]#//okey i'm goin to go do my somethings now hfvhs :3 :D#music and caffeine are SO good ehehhehghhg [slinkies away so fast]
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i keep thinking of being back home like it's temporary, thinking of it in terms of when i go move back to campus. but then i remember that won't ever happen again and well. it's not great
#txt#to be deleted /#college stuff#i'm homesick..... at home.................#not for my dorm specifically but for how it was living on campus. my friends. my gfs dorm. classrooms. the dining hall even.#i like being home i think. i just miss my friends and the social life i had when i was at college and im scared to lose those connections
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hey hey when Paul (or whoever that was writing the book of Hebrews) tells us not to complain or God might strike us dead, how do we separate that from toxic positivity
#I'm kind of struggling rn guys#being at a *insert denomination here* school full of people who are all trying very hard to appear more or less perfect all the time#is killing my nerves#because see I have just begun to truly break out of my own perfectionism#I wanna put it to death SO badly#but how am I supposed to do that when I constantly feel like I have to perform all the time????#or else be considered a 'bad example'????#there are people here who know me. from years ago and only like 3 of them but still.#I don't enjoy sensationalist preaching#at all. and I feel like there's some of that going on here.#sensationalist and also like. massively dragged out of context in order to make a point.#hhhhh.#gurt says stuff#delete later#I have worked SO HARD to get to this school!!! WHY am I suddenly feeling terrible about the decision to come here!!!!!!!!#just... say some prayers for me plz. I'm exhausted and sad and I miss my family right now.#and it feels like all my friends are out there doing Real Stuff (joining the military; getting married; learning hard skills)#and I'm just over here wandering around campus and feeling alone in a huge crowd of people
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hmm not sure i like how my brain seamlessly reads in english🤔
#i just finished reading a novel in filipino#im now reading another local novel but in english#i have such a complicated relationship with tagalog and filipino#i mean as of now my comprehension is sufficient. for conversational sitches#and ig its the lifelong consequence of not being taught tagalog as a child#but im not ~fluent~#(tbh a thing i miss from being on campus is being exposed to smth other than the same ol stuff wid my family/relatives)#that i wont have formative experiences/nostalgia to bank on#that i can only interact tangentially through pop culture and whatever literature/media i find#that im forever going to interpret it through the lens of english#(oh the way i had to agonize over this for my thesis. screaming shaking puking)#ig its the small victories that matter#having the moments where i was just reading and not translating every single word#also there were some moments i bust out laughing. did not expect the wit in this prose but it was very appreciated#the way lil dio struggled so much with filipino and social studies (aka araling panlipunan)#i hope shed be a bit happier to see that shes come a long way#for-dellet
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i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster
#friday chats#tw vent#it's like.#new school - far from family - already behind - new crush - really tired - fucking focus would you?! - new show - undone chores#on and on and on#a big ball of highs and lows that - instead of mellowing out into a net positive or negative -#- just make me feel like i'm being pulled in two opposite directions#why can't i just have the good and not the bad#i really wanted to take a gap year to decompress from All Of High School but my parents refused#kind of wish i took it regardless. just ''whoops - missed the application deadline! i'll get it in next year'' and faced their ire#but then i wouldn't have met my new friend at freshman camp#we both were individually interested in the queer orgs on campus and could have still met that way#but idk. it wouldn't have been the same#mostly i'm just worried i'm not cut out for living on my own. being an adult with a job. doing college at all.#not because people who have to rely on others/don't have a job/drop out are supposedly failures#but bc i don't have anybody i could safely fall back on AND live a life that is entirely my own if i don't make it#all i've got is my family. who will judge me for failing and force me to stay in the closet.#and frankly i don't want to live like that#so i have to keep going#but also part of me's like. ''you're ready to throw in the towel only a week in?? for fuck's sake friday come on''#it was just so much. i don't know. i just want to rest. i've been stressed for so long#i want a life where my needs are met and i feel safe and loved. that's all#but NOO i have to get a DEGREE to get a JOB so i can even begin to THINK of something like that#my family always jokes about how one day when i'm successful as an author i'll be super rich and have a private jet or whatever#and yeah that just speaks to how poorly they know me but more importantly IF i make it that big i just want to settle somewhere nice#somewhere cozy. maybe start a garden. get a cat. hold a loved one close at night. that's it really#and it sure would be nice if i could have that without having to bend over backwards getting a degree and a 9-to-5 or w/e#but i can't. so throwing myself at the wall that is my shit executive function it is.
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it’s really actually starting to tangibly hit for the first time that i won’t be going back to college in a week or two, i don’t have to pack up all my shit again and move back on campus again, i don’t have to wake up a few days later and drag myself out of bed filled with anxiety and haul ass across campus in ~90 degree weather and just pray that i walk fast enough or that the buses are reliable for once, i don’t have to go through introducing myself to a class full of people with my name and pronouns and therefore marking myself as The Trans One in front of a bunch of strangers, i don’t have to get used to a new routine and then repeat it for months until the end of the year when i reach my breaking point because it would be finals and i would be realizing just how fucked i am, i don’t have to worry about deadlines or assignments or writing papers or reading shit i don’t want to read….
#ITS SO BEAUTIFUL ….#for the record i didn’t graduate i’m a horrible student im just dropping out for the time being#i do want to maybe eventually go back but i might not idk!! i think i’m mostly at peace with it#a degree in a field i stopped being passionate about awhile ago just stopped being worth it and im happy with where i am rn even if it’s not#necessarily ‘successful’ it’s just a transitionary period for me rn and i’m fine with that#i will miss everything about college except the actual college part though. like how decently walkable everything is and the dining halls#and nearby restaurants and how pretty my campus was. but other than that GOODBYE !!!!
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took a break from volunteering and getting lunch by myself, it's been a while since i got food at a restaurant by myself
#zee.txt#i miss getting the bus out from my old campus in canada and have lunch by myself#man i really miss being able to go out whenever by myself
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Remind me to at some point do something about that ficlet i have knocking around in my head where ulixes surprise-visits steban at his mom's place during semester break and steban gets extremely flustered about it
#posts by me#this would be early in their friendship#they met each other in the last semester and instantly clicked but it's all still new. uli hasn't even realized he has a crush yet#he's staying with his parents and they're distant and disinterested and he misses talking to his new friend#and hey steban did give him his family's address ''for emergencies'' and urgently needing to talk theory is an emergency!!#so he heads to villalobos. has the door opened by steban's mom. all very yes hello can my friend come out to play#he's led out back to a little community garden that some people in the apartment block manage together#steban's there helping out bc he's on break. he's in his oldest shittiest gardening clothes. there's dirt on his hands#and mud on his bare feet. uli looks at him in the sunlight and thinks ooohh. i am IN LOVE with you#then steban sees him and is like OH NO. he's not supposed to see me without my nice academic getup#now he'll think [mesque stereotype] [mesque stereotype] [mesque stereotype]#and meanwhile uli's thinking wow he is the most beautiful being to ever exist i want to be communist lovers with him#cue uli sitting in the kitchen with lemonade while steban has a whispered argument with his mom outside#all ''muuuums why did you just let him IN HERE i'm not even properly DRESSED'' and his mom is all oh you want to impress the boy huh?#you want to look nice for the boy? 😏#and steban (blushing) is like i want the boy to take me SERIOUSLY as an ACADEMIC#like... this is firstie steban. he's still grappling with the whole 'poor kid in a college environment' thing#he hasn't yet learned to simply own it. he's probably trying to suppress his accent when he's on campus. and uli might even be middle class#(!!!)#and like he's not Ashamed of where he's from. his family's great. he... doesn't Hate being mesque. he's not sure yet how it all squares w#his brand-new communist beliefs. where he belongs and what he defines himself as#but he knows this: he does kinda want to impress ulixes. it just feels right to have him around#so he's just very very flustered and confused and trying to act nonchalant about it#steban's mom after fighting tooth and nail for it eventually gets uli to call her by her first name
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My advice for "last year/last quarter/semester" is to start taking pics of your favorite places around campus! Your favorite study spots, your favorite people, even favorite barista. I left university almost 5 years ago now and I'm really glad I did. It's so easy to forget stuff like that.
I saw this right when you sent it but was rushing to the environmental science deptartment's faculty + needed to rush to class so i couldn't respond >w< (and then brain was drained so...)
definitely started taking pics of campus!! unfortunately, most of the people i was fond of have already left thanks to either graduating ahead of me (if things went according to plan, i would've graduated back in 2019 lmao) or because they had to find new jobs while campus was on lockdown thanks to the backstreet boys reunion tour >.>;;
it feels super weird to think that i won't be coming in there as a student at the end of the month? i have to apply for an alumni card...
#skynapple#placeholder ask tag#it's kinda lonely tbh and my last year was spent mostly alone and there in campus for just class or cram then leaving#in a rush bc i didnt want to miss the train going to where my friend's place >.>;; its certainly an experience being mistaken for#a professor and being asked if i were batchmates with my own adviser
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crazy how the summer break during high school is 2 minutes long and the summer break during college is 6 years long. pretty crazy how they did that
#i am DYIGN. to go BACK.#one week from tomorrow. god#im packing rn (aka i started packing then got overwhelmed and now im laying on the floor)#i want to be back so bad i miss my friendssss i miss my routine i miss the campus!!!#i love my campus :] very small very pretty#college feels like my real life. being at home feels like i am a sim#LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNN#audie talks
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finishing my math final today felt like it did the emotional equivalent of the curaga casting animation sequence for me
#(envelops you in vines woven out of light) (the sirens cut out)#also i got to meet my math teacher for the first time in person and it was fantastic#i really miss being on campus because it’s so much easier to make those connections#but he offered to introduce me to the head of my department and he also said i was one of his top students#and gave me tips for future courses#and specifically praised my ‘attention to detail’#which felt great. wow. WOW. this time last year i had no idea I’d be returning to math#is theo finally seeing some wins? it’s too soon to say but maybe#post#also using my soon-to-be-legal name (or whatever) at school was the correct move#love to hear it and be called it
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a word of unsolicited advice....don't do two masters programs and two jobs all at the same time, bad idea
#at least not if you don't live with family or a partner that helps support you a lot with domestic affairs#this shit would be so much more manageable if i still lived at home. or even in a dorm on campus#and didn't have to worry about bills and groceries and cooking and cleaning everything all by myself every day...#i'm not really failing at anything at the moment. but i do really feel like i'm struggling to keep up with it all#and that i should be doing a better job. or at least that things should be easier. that i shouldn't feel so lost#or have to ask so many questions still#or feel so bad when there's food in the cupboard but i'm so exhausted and poorly planned my energy and time etc#that i end up ordering delivery once or twice a week just to keep myself fee after rehearsals. idk man#this would be so much easier if my dad still did the laundry and my mom always made me dinner...#i miss not being in charge of everything myself. it's a whole lot. it's more than i bargained for#but the only people i'm really comfortable enough with asking for that level of help and care from live two states away.....sigh#well. gotta write a paper tomorrow. and go to work at 6pm. and try to dig further in on assigned hw readings. wish me luck ig#i wanna talk about me
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