#i miss my guy he lived in my brain for so long u dont understand

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

im SO UPSET i cant look up farmworld finn art to reblog rn because i KNOW hes in fionna and cake and i dont want to spoil that part for myself. i missmy boy. :(

[remcycl333]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!

I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.

So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).

I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.

Thank you rem.

hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?

i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?

i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!

my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.

similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."

while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!

i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!

similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!

i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.

my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!

i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!

[8000000cherries]

i think i just dont feel safe or secure w either of the guys im talking to and its my fault i think. guy 1 it's mostly because it's long distance so i see him like once or twice every couple of months but weve talked since july but we dont even text that often anymore but we call like twice a week or smthn like that and i like talking to him it's just not enough and i feel like something is lacking or like it's not indepth enough even tho i know i hold myself back a lot but i just dont feel comfortable expressing affection to him even tho it's what i want ig thats the only thing i miss abt my ex is we would say i love u to each other pretty often and i didnt feel awkward saying it but yeah.. i dont think im inlove w him tho but idk i just like him a lot and i think he knows it we would say it more in the summer but i wish i could say it more but i feel like i cant until he says it first i guess. but also i knew it wasnt going anywhere cuz he lives across the country and i only see him when he comes home to visit his family so any time hes back hes gonna prioritize seeing his family and friends which is understandable i cant expect a committed relationship from him but i just like him a lot and we get along well and he makes me laugh so hard but i think i built him up in my head for soo long. guy 2 i think is leading me onnnn but ive had a crush on him for like 2 years and we were friends before and i told him i liked him but dont trust him and it made him cry but he said he cares alot about me but never said he likes me back so it makes me insecure lol lmao. it feels like we're dating but also he isnt super affectionate or anything when we're in public and i think thats fine but i think if i were to be in a relationship w someone i would like some small forms of affection but also i think im self sabotaging and wont let myself be forward w him or tell him what i want whcih is my fault i think . but also why do i have to be the one that brings up the convo.. like about exclusivity and intentions and what not.sooo dumb. i guess i thought it would be like a fwb situation and i didnt wanna get my hopes up but i did so its dumb of me. he definitely is talking to other ppl i dont blame him we arent exclusive. dont even really know what we are. i want a relationship but i just dont know hes the right person for me i have that feeling in my gut but my brain tells me nothing is wrong and its fine and i still wanna talk to him and miss him. just have a feeling he doesnt really want me and he'll fuck me over. i wish things werent so complicated and i wanna communicate better and wish i knew how i felt really and how to not be scared of everything. i dont think im ready to love but i so want it and probably from the wrong people.

[cubedmango]

live slug reaction (aka naina watches the cm movie after midnight and provides long and dumb and unnecessary commentary) (there be spoilers inside. tread w caution and all that jazz)

THE BOOOKK i wonder if we'll get to see the pages eventually.

also remembered my au i based off it...... i gotta dig it up

the recap aka watch how hard can i cry abt krdcs story despite having it seen it like 50 times already

adachi cringefail compilation in reverse so true

HELP ME WHYARE THEY SITTING LIKE THATSHHDHD. they are just sitting . five feet apart cause theyre not gay

ROKKAKU. I LOVE YOU BUT WHY ..... who was he trying to call anyway .....

their fucking faces i cant do thsidjbfjsjd those shifty ass side glances im losing it theyre so NERVOUS IM YELLING

ADACHI MY BELOVED AUGH HE DIDNT EAT ...... and them both laughing AUGHHH theyre my everythingggGGGG

HAHAHAHAHAHA HE REALLY WAS JEALOUS OF THE CHICKEN NOODLES i thought ppl were kidding but no . oh my god

ALSO.! KUROSAWAS ROOM IN DETAIL FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! taking notes for No reasons

obsessed w how adachi so Obviously checks to see if their feet are touching and kurosawa, Aware of the powers, just does not see it

theyre so cute fucking hell.....

OHHH GIMME GIMME TIME LETS GOOOO

oh the camping trip ough. . .. would pay to be the fish just to watch this sappy ass shit irl

theyre both so dumb theyre literally made for each other i swear

Kurosawa. What Is Wrong With You. Stop Thinking Things Ur Scaring The Little Man

unrelated but omg the shots are sooo pretty i love the waterfall one....

NOT THE 'LOOKING AT THE PERSON WHILE SAYING "ITS BEAUTIFUL"' TROPE NOOOOO IM WEAK

hh.. h h n . h . . hands.. Hands

THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: 2)

OFFICE GANG IS BACKKK i missed them...... ms fujisaki my queen most of all

WHAT IS W THAT GAY ASS STARE ACROSS THE OFFICE U GUYS HELLO

ADACHIS ROOM !!!!!! sorry i like it a lot seeing it again is like seeing an old friend.......

"for us to be together forever" WHAT IF I THREW MYSELF OFF MY BED !!!!!!!!!!!!

"i wished for our happy days to last forever" AND WHAT IF I PARACHUTE JUMPED OFF A PLANE!!!!!!!!!!

also dear god knowing what happens next as they say this is . it Is.

ah . its them. tsugemina.... ha ha one part of the show i didnt rlly miss

my 'kurosawa actually cares a lot abt rokkaku when hes not busy being jealous of him' agenda REAL and CANON

THE BESTIES ok i did miss adachi and tsuges bestie-isms . they are so funny

MINATO? THEY WERE TALKING ABT DRINKS MY DUDE .......

the og soundtrack in the bg ......... Yeah

ADACHI LOOKING AT KUROSAWA LIKE THAT GUYS I CANT DO THIS I CANNOTTTT

THEYRE SO CUTE FUCK OFF (counter: 3)

comedic genius w that cut from adachi hoping for them to be together all to finding out abt the transfer

rokkaku... i am looking at him .....

ADACHI BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB SOOOO TRUE

noooo noooooooo noooOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THE FLASHBACKS NOOOOOOOOOO MY POOR HEART

seeing all the times kurosawa sacrificed what he wants for adachis sake ....... girlie who allowed this im so

Ah. Kurosawas Face..... Bros I Cant Do This....

THE BRIDGE !!!!!!!!!! THE™ BRIDGE™!!!!!!!!!!!!

KUROSAWA STOP FAKING STOP IT IM SHAKING YOU STOP ITTTT

SONS OF BITCHES FUCKING HELL THIS ANGST AAAAJAJJHDHBD. .JDJJE. DYING

KUROSAWAAAAAAAA

ep 1 parallel..... eats it up. definitely giffing this later Yeah

OUGH THE DISTANCE THE SLIDING SHOT THING (???? IDK I DONT KNOW FILM THINGS) THE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THEIR WORDS AND EXPRESSION OUGH OUGHHHH

A. AAA .A A.A..A. THIS IS JUST BEGINNING OF EP12 AGAIN WHY

hey that reminds me of the evil fic idea i was gonna write after watching the movie :)

Also. just noticed i have been talking in caps too much. sorry but 1) its late my brain isnt working 2) i gotta yell man

NEW FRIENDS who is He ........ who are all of they i need to know for fic purposes

THE PEN FUCK OFF NOOOOO . HE LOOKS SO SAD I . . .... . .. .. .HUGS HIM

adachi my talented brilliant genius amazing son . thats it thats the point

adachi my son hey hello. i understand jps toxic work culture but please. dont do that

so many pretty shots of kurosawa but he looks so sad in them..... this is his burden

adachi, alone, walking past couples/ppl in pairs..... poetic cinema

O NAGASAKI APARTMENT i am Perceiving 👁️👄👁️

kurosawa running to get his phone...... someone fly this man to kyushu Right Now

ough kurosawa pov. . always promising w angst as always

HE WAS LYING........ MY GUYS U GOTTA COMMUNICATE

THE BGM IS SOO GOOD BTW HITS SO HARD i think this is a leitmotif but brains too wack rn to recognise which piece its from

FUCK. THE PEN FUCK EVERYTHING AAAAAA WHY DO THEY DO THIS S

Looking. At the Apartment. Tidbits and Things and Blue Theme (very good and perhaps meant to match kurosawas place) but also adachi why is it . like this

47k yen flight bro............ call me unromantic bc i would not unless Absolutely Necessary

aha. foreshadowing.

oh my god okay its happening . gif

adachi jesus okay no stop stoppp go sit down please im begging you

Ah.

yuta 'jumping to grave conclusions' rokkaku strikes again . in his defense he probably didnt know anything but man

AGH. G GHH J N .. J N J JJ KDJDJD . GOOD GOD

A. . OOF . OKAY i fucking forgot abt that dream oh goodness . adachi i am psychoanalysing ur brain now

not remembering phone numbers he just like me fr

WAIT SHIT FUCJ OH . OH

SAYING THIS AGAIN. THE FUCKING RELIEF ON HIS FAAACEEEEEE IM UNWELLLLL

they hugged there btw im declaring this canon rn

fucking Finalllyyyy they Talk

"i nearly lost it" imagining his perspective and. H. . . ... hsj.. kj. ikk.w..d..

"i thought id never see you again" Who ...... why ................ to hurt me ...????? personally??????????

smashing a rock over my head during adachis lines

JESUS. CHRIST. KUROSAWA .......

OH MY GOD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (REMIX)

HANDS. PASSING AWAY NOW THANK YOU.

guys . what the fuck (<- rendered speechless)

parallel 2 !!!!!!! lets go!!!!

AH I SEE NOW. THE CARESSING. WOW......

ok a complaint here. honestly there wasnt enough use of the magic to even feel like it was missing tbh ? like it got mentioned and plot device-d but we barely heard any actual thoughts so the lack of it felt exaggerated imo

ITS THE SCENE ITS THE EDJDJJ JJHDJE BACK HUG WAUGH

aaaaand we're back to the THEYRE SO CUTE'S (counter: 4)

unrelated but how did the carpet not stain

PULLING MY HAIR OUT. THEIR PROMISE. SCREAMING

omg the besties <3 ignoring the tsugemina tho lol

HEEEEEEE omg he looks adorable..... also wow damn that was a fast time skip for 8 whole months lmao

THE FRIENDSHIPS. ACTUALLY LOVE THEM SO MUCH....

ROKKAKU I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU HES SOOO SWEET

the student becomes the teacher.....

haha . foreshadowing :D

THEY ARE. SO FUCKING CUTE (counter: 5? i think? slowly losing count)

also complaint 2 a bit suddenly but arent the subs a bit off...... not that i know any jp but i feel like they arent exactly right at times

THE ICONIC PYJAMAS RETURN also omg kurosawa avoiding the topic ohhh i wanna squish his cheeks so bad

THE SWEET LIFE DAYDREAM OUTFITS RETURN....... also the fucking choir playing every time kurosawa goes into his. . Adachi Mode. so good

PICTURES TIMEEEE PARALLEL 3

kurosawa meets the in-law (food truck guy)

OH THE MAIL SCENE AAAWWWWWWWW STOPPPPPPPPPP

guys i cannot. the matching everything. chores list . fucks sake. this is a scene from a fic i swear

my 'kurosawa is Not a morning person' agenda. real and canon

kurosawa scrunkly of all fucking time like there is not a more scrunkly chara ive seen in my life i love him so much oh my god

hey have i mentioned how cute they are yet . no? ok here it is. They Are So Cute (counter: 6 or something)

KUROSAWA CARES ROKKAKU IM TELLING YOUUUUU

oh what does that say on urabes laptop

(unrelated. had to pause here bc i felt a tiny earthquake and that scared the fuck out of me oof,, anyways back to the brain rot)

rokkaku and fujisaku u both are So real

ah them again.... looking at the besties Only

Hehehehehehe Adachi Got Plans

closing my eyes sorry i dont care abt these two at all ,,......

oh my god tsuge cursed...... king shit

ADACHI UR BRAINNN MASSIVE HUGE MY GENIUS SON..... HES PLANNING FAR AHEAD ALREADY SOBBSS

"i want to have a life with you forever and for always" this. .this. the. Head in my Hands. how am i supposed to cope with this . Hello

AAGHHGGH HUG !!!!!!!!!!

i heard the legends of the resume. i did not know it was this intricate. kurosawa my guy what the fuck

taking notes tho. hm yes birthday same as manga kurosawa..... hmmmm yes mari Is his sisters name...... hmmm past jobs (?). hope someone translates the whole thing

boy abt to pitch himself as adachis boyfriend like a stationary product. u know what? unique. points for creativity

WAIT THE REASON FOR APPLY HELP ME DNDJEJDJD THIS MAN someone please please translate this oh my god

KUROSAWA LORE!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god mari got lore too yesssss good for her

why did they reduce kazuyas number of kids.... was it an actor casting thing

OH ADACHI FAMILY !!!!!! LOOKING INTENSELY

kurosawa.......... hes so determined....

AWWWWW IM SO HAPPY FOR THEMMM best family i care them 🥺🥺🥺🥺

"welcome to our family" SOBBING SO LOUD

omg the shogi scene....... that indirect asian family brand of acceptance....... love to see it

YEAHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO SEE !!!!!!! (refusing to think abt the next part)

chuckles. uh oh.

HEY ITS THAT SCENE . i didnt know it happened here oh

mont blanc again hehe

kurosawa did we not learn. did we not learn from the nagasaki part. my man

PARK!!! PARK™!!!!!! PARK PARK ITS THE OUUHHHHGHHGFFD [passes out]

somehow every speech adachi has given this movie has felt like a goddam punch to the stomach . Pain

losing count of the parallels there are so many Sooo Many

THE BGMMMMMMM ITS THAT ONE SONG

WAIT SURPRISE HUG OH THAT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. FUCK THEYRE SO CUTE (counter: i dont know anymore)

preparing my hands to be thrown later

the contrast of their houses is soo interesting me like adachis parents house being small and traditional vs kurosawas parents house being bigger and modern

and smth smth yet adachis family being more accepting of them despite that ....... Looking

saw ppl being like 'why did they bring irl problems into silly gay show' and yes i understand but also 1) this happened in the manga 2) i feel like this is kind of necessary ? not just from a realism perspective but for the storytelling??? like the point is to show adachis growth using hurdles and to show how he gets over them so without a serious scene like this i dont think his chara development would hit as hard

YEAH LIKE THAT. JUST LIKE THAT. HOW BEING W KUROSAWA MADE HIM BRAVER TO TAKE ON CHALLENGES

oh. he said it. well guys it was a good run for my online presence im going to go lock myself in my bathroom for the rest of my life now adios

OK GOOD THEY BROUGHT UP HIS SELF IMAGE AND PERFECTIONISM ISSUES . ITS IMPORTANT TO ME

"but then i met adachi. he accepted me as i am" bro i cannot. ep 7 abt to kill me next time i watch it on god

THEY DONT REGRET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL HER

adachis chara dev actually my fav thing on my planet for reallllll its insane how far hes come its incredible to see. and honestly for all that i relate to him it really makes me feel hopeful tbh...

HES CHANGED!!!!!!!!!! just repeating lines atp bc i have nothing to add but i must emphasize. Very Important

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO mama kurosawa i hope u get over ur fears entirely and then u and adachi can bond for the rest of time

"i believe your lives are yours to live" Yeah. Yeahhhhh yeah

OH MY GOODDD OKAY ITS HAPPENING . GIF (THE THIRD) (GONE RIGHT)

the growth from magic-dependent adachi in ep11....... Cries

this scene i saw already and yet. yet. . . Oh............... Wow.........

Hands.

The Bgm. normal about this . very

HANDS.

WHY WOULD THEY MUTE IT EVIL FUCKERS LET HIM SAY I LOVE YOU I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH

HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEARS IN MY EYES KUROSAWA TAKING THE FALL THSISI ISSO .. ..... GUYS

THEYRE SO HAPPY I CANT I LOVE THEMMM

intro parallel .....................

DORKS. WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE (counter: ???? still not enough times)

OH FUCK OH JESUS OH MU GDIIDJDJD

YES IVE SEEN THIS ALREADY. SEVERAL TIMES. YES IM STILL LOSING IT IMMENSELY . THANKS FOR ASKING!

complaint 3: why is adachis fucking wedding suit not fitting him right. huh

AGH. AGH. AAUAUSHHSJJJVJJKKE [taking emotional damage] HHRAAAHHAGGGFGHH

THE MUSICCCCC THE MUSIIIICCCCCCC THIS ISNT ALLLOWWEDDDDD

. BESTIES IM . ... ... ... OH MY GOD.................. I DONT HAVE WORDS ANYMORE. THATS IT.. ......

THE BOOK NO STOPPPPP DONT DO THIS TO ME IM SO WEAK

(i want that drawing by the way. as a painting. framed on my wall. for art purpose)

where is this location btw i would like to know of anyone has an idea

HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SWINGING HANDS

well. ... .. .. im super normal after this. i swear (biggest lie told)

SHINOOONNNNNNNNN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

if u guys havent read the lyrics to it yet please. please. they are insane.

its 3 am. no thoughts brain kurodachi. this was so worth the 7 months wait. i am filled with serotonin

i did not say anything coherent or deep at all but maybe ill make a discussion post later if i can get my thoughts in order

but first. when i get my hands on that hd rip i am going to make So many gifs u guys are gonna be sick of me i promise

anyways yeah um . .. ....... krdc will continue to be my personality for the rest of the year please look forward to it <3

ALSO . IF OTHER PPL HAVE ANY THOUGHTS THEY WANNA SHARE W ME PLS FEEL FREE id love to discuss (and/or scream in all AAAAAAs) the movie too :D

ok im going to sleep now good night

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (3)

Synopsis: News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right?

Pairing: yandere!Taehyung x f!reader

genre: angst, horror, weirdly some fluff lol

Warnings: dark themes, yandere, stalking, manipulation, conditioning, mentions of abuse, suicidal ideations/attempts, self harm, murder, depictions of torture etc (basically its gorey and fucked up), angel trap, etc stabbing and guns. do not read if triggered!!!!

wordcount: 2.2k

taglist: @yes-sol-not-soul @yoongiofmine

a/n: pt 3 is here!! honestly i wasnt expecting this amount of support as i’ve never published my writing before so thank u sm ♡ i was inspired to write this one night and i had no idea where it’d go or anything but i’m happy with the way its turning out :D fun fact abt me, i’ve been obsessed w the franchise since i was little and i actually have 2 saw tattoos, one of billy and one above saying “cherish your life” since that’s pretty much the motto of saw :) and i have quite the collection of saw/billy items so why not turn my fav horror film into a fucked up love story! let me know if u would like to be added to the taglist and pls enjoy reading^^ feel free to send me asks abt the series or anything u want~ i love hearing from u guys!! :D ps— taehyung and the reader dont have much interaction in this part,, theyll definitely be more of them together in part 4 :) unedited so pls excuse any mistakes!! tysm <33 and remember these are fictional characters and do not represent bts personally in any way!!

series masterlist

part one part two

The headlines constantly named the Jigsaw Killer, Billy. The somewhat eerie little doll that had a face as white as a Calla Lily with spirals on it’s cheeks as red as the blood that was shed during the tests. Billy was always dressed in a little black suit with a red bowtie and he was (most of the time) situated on a squeaky battered tricycle. Attached was always a tape that read “play me” and when the subjects did, a chilling voice— one that could make even the world's worst predators shiver with terror— would echo around the room.

Everyone knew that a doll clearly wasn’t responsible, yet they gave it the name Billy in hopes to somewhat humanise the face that instilled panic— they did not want to live in fear.

It was the only face behind the killings.

But this time, there was a different subject stuck in the test and Billy had made sure there was no way for them to survive.

“How are you scared of heights? You’re practically a giant yourself!”

“Just because I’m tall doesn’t mean I can’t be scared of heights Y/Nie.”

You had no idea how long had passed since Taehyung had turned up at the garage, you were too busy chatting away squeezed into the kitchen while your Dad, Yoongi and Hobi worked on the cars in the shop. If anyone could hear you both, they would think you’d known eachother since childhood— the playful jokes and light touches exaggerated that.

You’d only known him for a few hours really, if you added the time spent with him on the first day and now. It hadn’t seemed like all those weeks ago that you first met, he had a familiar presence, as though you had known him for years compared to the hours.

“I just wouldn’t imagine you to be scared of anything Taehyung… you seem so confident and fearless.”

You saw the way Taehyung looked at you. His eyes flashed with understanding.

“I did have my fears back then, much like yours.”

“What do you mean?” you had a rough idea on what he meant but you needed him to voice it.

A deep inhale and the words flowed from his lips before he could stop it, “The fear of living. I had been through some stuff you know, growing up. My mum was working a lot and my dad was an alcoholic, he was so fucking possessive and wouldn’t let her go anywhere without kicking off. It was a fucking shitshow and so toxic. This one time though, I’d pretended that I’d gone to school and waited outside the front door. It didn’t take long before I heard shit getting smashed and my dad shouting.” Taehyung was telling the truth only, he left out the part where he was also as possessive, if not more, than his father. Well, let's say… obsessive. “I just ran in the house and saw my dad towering over my mum and I don’t remember what happened but, I do remember my mum crying and my dad disappeared.”

Now Taehyung was lying through his teeth. He remembered clearly, almost like it was yesterday. He smashed the nearest bottle, pulled his mother away from the monster that scared her and stabbed him. Not just once, not twice but thirty-seven times. Hence the thirty seven tattoo on the palm of his right hand (the one he’d actually killed his father with). There was only Taehyung who knew what it meant, he counted every single time the broken glass pierced his father’s body, he counted with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his throat.

You were at a loss for words. Your mouth gaped in shock, eyes wide and your brain scrambled for the right thing to say. You reached over and grabbed his hand, interlacing your fingers. His thumb running back and forth along your hand. “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like.” There was no way you could relate, your mother and father were happy and in love. They had the ideal relationship, one you wished for yourself. You could empathise though.

“You don’t need to be sorry baby, it’s in the past and I’ve moved on from it. I was like you though, poisoned by the roots that keep you on the ground even though you wanted nothing more than to break free and be no longer.” A silence fell over you both before Taehyung uttered, “I wasn’t successful with my attempt so now I’m here to help you.”

Warmth spread throughout your body, a smile graced your features as you no longer felt alone.

You had a completely different idea to what those words actually meant.

It was nearing the evening when Taehyung’s car had been fixed. Yoongi popped his head in the kitchen to tell him but stopped himself so as to not interrupt the scene before him. You were laughing along to whatever Taehyung was babbling about with your hand resting on his bicep, with that look in your eyes that he hadn’t seen for years. Yoongi felt himself smile as he saw you hanging onto Taehyung's every word.

For the first time in forever, you looked alive.

Yoongi cleared his throat which drew yours and Taehyung’s attention, “Sorry to interrupt guys. We’ve finished with your car so whenever you’re ready we’ll be outside.” The infamous gummy smile overtook his features, you felt yourself beam in return.

“Thanks man! I’ll be like, five minutes.”

Yoongi nodded his head in reply and swiftly left the room.

You’d taken Tae’s hand into yours, playing with the array of rings that occupied his fingers. Solemn thoughts overtook, am I not gonna see him again? Was this, whatever this is, over before it had even begun? Your eyes stayed on his hand as you turned it over and traced your finger over the inked ‘thirty seven’ on his palm. “What does this mean?”

Taehyung didn’t think twice before he practically beamed out, “It’s my lucky number.”

The difference was, it wasn’t really his lucky number… although he did see it that way. It was the number that had stayed with him. It was something he was proud of, whenever he looked at the hand that killed his father, his chest filled with pride and a joyous feeling overtook his senses. It was his first murder. Something he relished in and thus, created the onslaught of Jigsaw killings. He targeted a certain type— those whose sins would lock them up forever if they were ever found out. Racists, murderers, rapists, drug dealers, con-men. Authoritative figures who abused their power. He even went as far as subjecting suicidal people.

You see, things aren’t sequential. Good doesn’t lead to good, nor bad to bad. People who steal, don’t get caught, they live the good life. Others lie, cheat and get elected.

Some people would call it karma but Taehyung, he called it justice.

He’d started this with one thing on his mind— those that don’t appreciate life do not deserve it.

Whenever a serial killer was on the loose, the press did what they always did. They gave them a nickname. While the public had named the doll Billy. The actual killer was named ‘Jigsaw’.

This stemmed from the jigsaw piece that was cut from the victims skin, no one knew why he was doing it or what it even stood for.

It did have a meaning although unknown to the public.

The jigsaw piece that was cut from the subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct.

After all, until a person is faced with death, it’s impossible to tell whether they have what it takes to survive.

Across town an underground abandoned warehouse, was where the next subject had found themselves.

They were suspended in the air, their feet merely dangling above the ground. The putrid smell of death lingered in every crevice, the sound of rats scurrying along the concrete floor filled their ears just as they began to stir awake.

A pain in their ribs was the overwhelming factor to them finally coming around. When they groggily opened their eyes, they were paralised with fear due to the scene in front of them.

A doll sat a few feet ahead, perched upon a tricycle. Adorned with a black suit and a red bowtie. A slow red light flashed in his eyes.

Billy.

Before the subject could even register how, when or why they found themselves trapped in a test, footsteps echoed behind them. The subject called out, “Help! Please, somebody help! I shouldn’t be here!”

A tsk reached their ears, as a disembodied voice replied, “Trust me, no one can hear you. Scream all you like. You’d just be wasting your breath, you may as well cherish it before it's gone.”

With hairs stood on end, the subject stilled. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.” The man's footsteps grew louder. “I’m here to serve justice, that’s all.”

The man rounded the subject, settling in their view with only his cloaked back visible while he tended to the little doll. He touched Billy delicately—like he was a little child that he loved dearly. He combed his gloved hand through the doll's black hair and eventually pulled his fingers from the tresses to pat his head gently.

“You fucking psycho! Let me go!”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that which only infuriated the subject more causing them to shake in anger, a movement they soon ceased when they realised something was penetrating their ribs.

“I’d be very careful if I was you, we wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now… would we?” The cloaked figure spun around. An angry glint to his eye.

“What the fuck, you’re fucking crazy. Let me out, this isn’t right!” The subject tried their hardest to swing their legs, to somehow kick the man who’d imprisoned them.

“I think you’ll find it is right. You’re unworthy of the body you possess.” He inched closer, “see, when someone purposely intends to harm others, they lose their right to life.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man arched a brow as he replied, “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” He felt like it was a game of cat and mouse except, he was a tiger and his subject, was the tiniest prey to mankind. “But, let me remind you! Since you can’t get your thick fucking head to work. You’re a liar, a cheater and an abuser. That ring any bells?”

The subject's face dropped.

“Ah, I see by your expression you know exactly what I’m talking about! Glad to see we’re on the same page.” He shrugged his cloak off placing it to the side of the doll. “I want to play a game.”

“What game? This isn’t a fucking game! You’re sick in the head you fucking cunt!”

The atmosphere shifted, the man remained calm while the subject went ballistic.

“What is this? What fucking game?”

“You feel the machine that’s currently occupying your ribs? Well, in about ten minutes that’s going to rip you apart. I’m proud to say that trap is my baby. I’ve been working on it especially for you! How nice is that?” he reached out to tug at the subject’s legs, tormenting them like a cat would a mouse. “Anyway, as my beautiful angel trap will rip you apart, my darling little friend Billy over here,” the subject followed the direction the man's hand pointed, “is going to match your face with the ugliness of your soul.”

“Fuck, fuck this! How do I stop it? Tell me how I fucking stop it!”

A boxy grin overtook the man's face, laughter poured from his mouth as he leaned over and slapped the subject’s leg. “This is a special game.”

“Who are you? What do you mean by ‘special game’?”

He raised himself so he stood tall and grabbed a knife from his pocket, “I’m the man you call Jigsaw.” He traced the tip of the knife along the subject’s ankle, “and when I say a special game… I mean you can’t get out.” While the subject was screaming in realisation, Taehyung walked back for his cloak, hung it over his shoulder and stalked off back the way he came. He sent one last smile to the subject as he rounded them and within the blink of an eye, he gripped the knife and slashed the subject’s achilles.

A chilling scream pierced the eerie atmosphere, the subject couldn’t string words together. Abundances of anxiety, terror and pure panic took reign of their body. Taehyung grabbed the injured muscles and forced his gloved fingers in as he gripped and twisted them, “That’s for Y/N.”

Taehyung had pressed the timer before he cut the subject’s tendons. He grabbed the tape from his pocket and threw it on the ground and with a chuckle he shouted, “Game over!”

Before he reached the end of the hallway, he heard the gunshots pierce his subjects face followed by the sound of the angel trap, even this far away Taehyung heard every crack of the ribs and the noise of the body being tore apart.

Without looking back, Taehyung rounded the corner and slammed the door shut.

He’d chosen the Angel trap for the irony, the subject that was currently hanging from the ceiling was no angel. They were a fucked up, evil, waste of space. Taehyung had done the world a favour, he’d done you a favour.

That got him thinking, how much blood would you shed in order to stay alive?

[a/n: who do we think was in the trap???👀]

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[catboy-lover-archive]

Obey Me Romanian MC

idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)

Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30

Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele

[added translations]

(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)

Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?

MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah

-

MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.

Asmo: Awww

Beel: :(

Belphie: What?!

Satan: Why?

MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴

-

Asmo: But I thought you could-

MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

-

Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-

MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*

-

Solomon: What is this weird potion.

MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*

MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖

-

MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?

MC: Tsch tsch tsch

Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond

MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it

Lucifer: Fair enough

-

Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?

MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔

-

MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨

-

(after the Belphie incident)

MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too

-

MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜

Belphie: My butt still hurts...

MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)

-

*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*

Mammon: W-what's that???

Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose

Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!

MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)

-

MC: Who has summoned me?

Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.

MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨

Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.

MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*

Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable

MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-

-

Barbatos: MC...

MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.

Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?

MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*

-

Diavolo: Do you like my castle?

MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.

MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows

-

Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...

MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳

MC: Real music here 😌

-

MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*

Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...

MC: That's the spirit!

-

MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!

-

Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.

Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.

MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼

-

Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!

MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...

MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?

-

Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*

Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*

MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*

MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!

-

MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊

Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-

MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)

-

Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?

MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*

MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...

Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?

MC: The secret is to use your wrist-

-

MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?

Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?

MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you

-

MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?

Simeon: ...what? :)

MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!

MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there

MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.

-

Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.

MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)

-

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is

Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.

Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.

-

MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️

(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)

-

MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*

-

Belphie: *misbehaving*

MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)

MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*

-

MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ

-

MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)

-

MC: Where is my țuică? :)

Everyone: *quiet*

MC: I won't get mad :)

MC:

MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)

Everybody: *runs*

MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use

-

Levi: *exists*

MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*

MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)

-

MC: Lucifer you don't understand!

MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!

-

MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore

-

Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight

MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)

-

MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică

MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)

-

Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe

MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)

-

Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?

MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)

Mammon, clueless: ok thanks

-

MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like

-

Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?

MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.

-

Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*

Asmo: Please love me!

MC: *already in wedding attire*

-

MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!

MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?

MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT

-

MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*

MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)

-

MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again

MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.

-

MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)

MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)

MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition

-

Diavolo: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)

-

Simeon: *exists*

MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)

-

Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...

MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)

-

MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?

MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake

MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house

MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN

-

MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so

MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*

MC: that works wonders for me

[olde-scratch]

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I  H A V E  N O T  F O U N D  I T -

“oliver”

I  F O U N D   I  T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

so

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!  ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

w  h  a  t  -

W   H   A   T   -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

[tsubasabasahazard]

reacting to

Three Gods and one Ghost King vs Bad Omen Reverend

or whatever the fuck that dude is

I have no idea if this was funny or terrifying for fucks sake what was this arc

btw I stopped reading when they entered black waters territory

Hua Cheng staring furiously at Ming Yi when he got closed to XL aljsksjjsjskkskksksk I dead

Qingxuan laughing at Xie Lian’s unlucky ass and then Hua Cheng pissed at him and I was thinking “I’m so happy I didn’t laugh, I was too shocked to laugh”

This reverend of bad omens (the actual name is hard and didn’t stick to my brain) reminded me of my parents always reminding me how I’m gonna fail kakksjwkjskakkakkakskkwkskkskskkahajk

also Xie Lian’s unlucky ass really reminds me of my bff, she’s so unlucky it started rubbing on me since we started living together

this bloody parade reminded me of AHS smh and I’ve never even watched it, seems cool, I would cry tho

Ok who had the grate idea of playing truth or dare with Qingxuan???? he’s clearly the type to make you do nonsense or ask really personal questions (I love this so much come come come)

YES UNDRESS EACH OTHER I LOVE U QINGXUAN MY BELOVED

omg did he just ask this of Hua Cheng fuck Imma cry my eyes out....OMG THE ANSWER HOLY SHIT NOOOOOOOOOOO YESSSSS XIE LIAN KIND OF FELT IT YESSSSSSSSSSS FUCKKKKKKKKKK

Ming Yi will probably ask something borin- BELOVED?????? oh- okay....now I wanna know details of XL second ascension, he just mentioned he stabbed daddy

oh look annoying people

“That wasn’t me!” said Ming Yi and I almost shit myself scared (I’m easily scared, really easily)

oh we can switch bodies heh? I like it- Hua Cheng doesn’t, keep going

Ok I still understand nothing of this Reverend guy but I like how Xie Lian couldn’t even IMAGINE Hua Cheng being harmed and he lost it

now Hua Cheng is pissed and hit Ming Yi....smh this is funny

if Ming Yi and Qingxuan don’t end up married by the end of this book I’m gonna flip it (bullshit I’ll just read fanfic to cope)

ok now let’s run to save Qingxuan...where’s Qingxuan???????? that motherfcukeer can’t follow a simple rule of DONT OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR

bye bye Hua Hua I miss u already Love u

okay this is looking way too much like a horror movie is Qingxuan dead?????

and here’s the three musketeers (it took me so long to write this word right) I like Ling Wen but the fact she’s friends with these two makes me rethink my liking

oh no, I bet Qingxuan is human again (yes I got the spoiler he becomes human and his brother dies) FUCK WTF IS HAPPENING HERE?????

THE PALANQUIN HUA CHENG SENT FOR XIE LIAN I AM DYINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

omg he’s getting on too wait a second I’m having a gay panic and so is Xie Lian

“Gege, wanna get married” I would give my life to slap Hua Cheng for saying this was a joke after he saw Xie Lian was having a gay Panic

Hua Cheng telling XL to not get involved with those gods he’s always involved, XL “how abt I do it anyway?”

LOOK AT MY BABIES FARMING TOGETHER

Hua Cheng saying he’s married and I’m having a fan panic here while Xie Lian just stopped working

HE SAID ITS TRUE HE LOVES SOMEONE JUST DIDNT CONQUER THAT SOMEONES HEART YET MY BOY IS IN LOOOOOVEEEEEEEEE

Xie Lian and Ming Yi helping Qingxuan flee through a whole under his bed was the funniest shit that ever happened in heaven they’re bffs

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok that makes sense, Shi water master sucks, u can die now I won’t cry for u anymore (or so I hope)

Now I wanna meet the Rain master he is so cool and I don’t even know him yet

YES BULLYING MANWHORE PEI IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THIS WHOLE BOOK AFTER HUALIAN

ok we’re going to the water anyway yeey

[blookmallow]

uhHH well i finished rusty lake roots... there are still many things i do not understand but wow that sure was. a lot 

-----

oh. ohhhh i was right 

albert did get into voodoo

i mean really if you have enough blood to write a sentence with it i think thats more of a “there is blood” scenario but i guess that’s just semantics really 

anyway uhhHHh that happened,

oH god what the fuck ok apparently mary’s dead now too

i dont know what killed her other than like, old age, maybe. shock?? could’ve been a heart attack if she. saw what albert did to his brother and ida 

:( 

the kid with the glasses Was emma’s son and she Did commit suicide in her grief when he went missing 

still dont know where he came from in the first place but nevermind 

what the hell kind of egg is that (the second thing. the first thing is a potato) 

oh

it’s. it’s that kind of egg, isn’t it. 

is that what that looks like???? i was under the impression human “eggs” are like, microscopic, like you can’t visually see individual sperm cells and i couldn’t really find a clear answer trying to look this up and got kinda freaked out about it anyway (pregnancy/uterus functions fuck me up sdfgggh) but 

APPARENTLY, AFTER MURDERING HER (AND HIS BROTHER) ALBERT HAS DECIDED TO HARVEST IDA’S EGGS FROM HER BODY AND CREATE HIS OWN FETUS SOMEHOW HIMSELF 

I DONT THINK THATS HOW THAT WORKS BUT UH. ALBERT???? WE NEED TO TALK 

god fucking damn it i liked him so much and wanted to understand him and i still think it’s heavily implied he was abused and/or bullied by his siblings and he’s definitely mentally unwell and definitely had some kind of rivalry going on with samuel, definite “wants what he has” situation but 

i guess “murdered his brother and his wife, apparently harvested eggs from her corpse to Make A Child With Her after she rejected him” is uuhhhh not really redeemable is it :’   ) god 

or im not sure if she actually rejected him or if he ever made any advances on her in the first place but. definite “she belonged to me/should have been Mine” possessive behavior ramped up to 11 

i still think he needed Help and maybe wouldn’t have turned out like this if he got help and had support from his family but my god what a. series of events that was  

also this guy keeps showing up everywhere. i dont know what he is but i like him even though he may be some kind of shadow of impending doom or a personification of death 

BIG fan of the implication here that i may in fact have been a ghost the whole time, subtly influencing the events of my own family destruction in an effort to sacrifice them all to resurrect myself 

is that what all this is. did all this happen because william was haunting everybody trying to get the pieces to revive himself. was this man willing to destroy his entire family line for the chance to live again 

oh FUCK THE KID’S STILL ALIVE 

HE DIDN’T DIE IN THE WELL HE’S JUST BEEN LIVING DOWN THERE THIS WHOLE TIME. OK

how did nobody hear him calling for help or anything... 

guess what

i fucking killed the hand again 

apparently albert also knows about this??? and never told anyone??? fucking why??????? he doesn’t seem to be Using the dude for anything, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to keep him down here unless it’s just some fucked up revenge thing on his sister 

also i dont think it was albert’s hand that i stabbed Again bc he’s not bleeding when he shows up but 

is he the one who has been keeping him alive?? why. what purpose is served in keeping him alive if he’s not using him for anything. if hes just trying to get back at his sister why not just kill the guy or leave him to starve down here. Albert What The Fuck Are You Doing 

hey buddy!!!!! its u!!!!

i was wrong it seems like mr. crow is not a voodoo curse victim but is actually probably the first vanderboom brother. the not william one. i forgot his name :’) and i still definitely think william’s going to become mr. owl

i found this picture later (it was shown before but i didnt remember) (also has. puzzle stuff on it but anyway) its definitely the same suit thats it isnt it 

i dont want to go searching for the pic of the other brother and the one of mr owl bc ill probably just find spoilers if i do that but Hm. hmm.

is this how the revival ritual works. do u become a bird. is that why everyone else at the hotel was animals too

that would mean the brothers have already done the ritual once though and would’ve needed a bunch of sacrifices to do it before so maybe not 

albert’s bizarre science experiment child seems to be living at the house now, which i was gonna say “how the fuck did he explain this to his family how is she just Here Now” but then i realized i think she and albert might be the only ones left now 

ida and samuel are dead, emma is dead, mary and james are dead, leonard isn’t dead but i think he might be... out fighting the war at this point 

also that dog is still here and i didnt previously question why the cup was called “cup with liquid” and not “water” and i really, really wish i didnt know the answer to that mystery 

try to guess how this dog provided liquid. the answer is not blood 

rose helped frank get out of the well, not sure if she knew why he was down there in the first place or that he’s her cousin, and. well 

:( 

sorry things had to be this way, bud

digs up my entire family’s remains to make one hell frankenstein skeleton

sure 

o fuck i did it i got all the things

i like how some of these are like “gouge out an eyeball” and then there’s like “cut off some hair” 

some of this family suffered more than others for this ritual, shall we say

theres probably Reasons for each of the parts though like, frank’s hair grew super long from his years in the well, so while the removal of a lock of hair itself wasn’t really a Sacrifice/suffering on his end its symbolic of what he went through

william’s the one being revived so it makes sense to use his heart

eyes could be... Too Late To See The Truth about albert or something, ida was a fortune teller so, Inner Sight or w/e, also a pair of eyes taken from a couple

emma died from her grief so we have her tears

james... died from drinking the elixir? so indirectly his tongue could symbolize that?? i guess???

rose means red, she was born through murder, she got her bio mother’s red hair, we have her blood 

albert could be seen as a mastermind behind a lot of these events, and a lot of this was caused by the mental illness he never got help for, so we have his brain

leonard lost his foot in the war

the only one i cant figure out is mary’s teeth, i have no idea what that one could mean unless she Did die of old age and “teeth falling out” is meant to symbolize that

theres.... three teeth and she had three children? i have no idea 

anyway DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL 

hm. unpleasant 

the other brother Confirmed to be mr. crow but its still possible mr. owl is Not in fact william but he could be talking about future william when he Becomes mr. owl, maybe 

this is such a mess ok so william was reborn as a baby, the grandchildren looked like they were consumed by the roots but we see rose holding the baby so at least she’s still alive (and probably the boys too if she is) 

and this process also created the seed which planted the tree so... william’s death and subsequent rebirth also created the family tree?? i guess?? so his family was brought to ruin one by one possibly through him influencing events from beyond the grave, all to revive him, which started the family in the first place, and there’s definitely a lot of... “all time is one/timelines can be altered” not direct Time Travel but just sort of. time as a nonlinear web that the original vanderboom brothers seem able to transcend 

hm! hm. theres still. so much i dont understand but i have at least one more game left im not sure if the other things in the bundle are related to rusty lake or just other things by the same developers 

[dreamy-stars]

7/30/20

i’ve never felt this low in a long time, not even in sophomore year of college?? it’s like rly concentrated sadness and rly hit hard within the last month?

- i went through my first breakup, which affected me a lot more than i thought it would. it was so short lived i don’t even want to call it a relationship. i hate to admit it but it hurt so much bc it seemed like he wanted to be with me for a while. he has his reasons and he should take care of himself but i can’t help but feel thrown away without care? i wanted closure and he couldn’t even give me that. my self confidence went down the drain, and i kept questioning if there was something i could have done differently. i even contemplated if i was pretty enough XD can you believe i let a 5’6 man make me feel like this...pathetic...but yeah he rly has no emotional intelligence or something man cmon i wanna talk it out.. - it took me a while to get over him and now i dont miss him specifically, i just miss being wanted and having that connection? anyway my confidence was bad at this point and was feeling insecure in so many ways. maybe 3-4 weeks ago i started going down this dark hole, just questioning my purpose here. i’m not smart, pretty, or talented in any field. i felt kind of useless? just there... (even typing this im like tearing up hehe) comparing myself to ppl again..how i’m not good enough (in eng) just kinda wasting my parents money? and i think about if i were prettier i’d prob be treated better and those around me would pay nore attention to me? brings me to my next point :p - i feel SO lonely. it doesnt help that i went through a break up and the person i was talking to all day every day is suddenly cut from my life. my friends can contact me and stuff but i feel so left out sometimes. it’s not their fault, it’s just how my brain is ig lol. it felt like i was back in high school. i had acquaintances and was surrounded by friends but couldnt rly connect and be close to ppl. what i remeber most was being at the booth and being surrounded by girl friends and not adding to the convo at all. i felt so lonely and insecure i never want to feel that again. recently i felt it with my cousins who i have always felt close to. can u believe? i can’t rly explain it. but when sp brought her friends to the lake i felt ostracized. its so stupid for ne to feel that way, they’re literally strangers and i wish we could be like white folks that introduce each other right at the start of meeting new ppl U KNOW?? idk i’m so fucking sensitive LOL. like at least mai did it with her bf. I Am Nothing. like sp didnt introduce tp so why am i feeling like this. i guess its just me and my deep rooted trauma of being overlooked and forgotten! even when we went to the lake with just our cousins i felt SOOO SOOOOOOOO down and lonely, even more than before. i was sticking near ap bc it was kinda awkward still and i didnt want her to be lonely. i was just floating around and they played games and talked together and stuff and i felt invisible i felt so lonely even with so many ppl i love there. it didn’t help that they had sleepovers and hung out together so ich and never asked me. they even planned to sleepover later that night and didnt ask me. i wonder if it was bc i was neutral and stuck with ap? oh yeah i forgot that i couldnt go eat with them bc there was no room for me which is understandable but i still felt shitty and i think i cried that night :p it’s small insignificant things that build up for me and make me feel like an afterthought. it rly fueled my self confidence issue. AGAIN no one did anything wrong i’ve just been very sensitive and analytical of everything lately. it’s kind of led me to being distant with sp kinda like im testing her and seeing if she would reach out to me at all? its petty but i feel like she hates me fr 😂 might just be me. I Am Nothing...

ANYWAY ive been crying like pretty often just having these thoughts eat me up. it’s better now i think? it’s scary to admit but i’ve thought about dying so many times recently and i hate it. almost like it’s normalized to me now. it’s not that i would ever attempt but i understand what ppl mean when they want to disappear? i’m very blessed with loving parents and a healthy able body and a good living situation. i never want to put my parents and family through something that traumatizing. i haven’t properly expressed these feelings to anyone besides one watered down text to darwin. it was hard to even type the text, i ended up crying in the bathroom. i’ll have bad days and the thoughts creep up on me and i try to distract myself by watching stuff and it helps. i’ve been working out and dieting and i feel a lot better about myself and more positive. i’ve thought about therapy seriously but im hesitant still. if i still have issues i will, but talking through a screen and the risk of others hearing kinda turns me off. just processing my feelings and thinking about them extensively has helped me a bit but i think having a professional tell me about my feelings will make me feel better. idk how to bring it up at all, and i feel like my issues arent serious enough? but my brain been going cwazy :3

 i’ve been having a rough time at home just doing a lot of nothing but being sad and working out.. i hope with school starting soon i can get out the house and be productive again! recently ive been dealing with the problem of “living for others” i notice that i care about the comfort of others and how i can satisfy them and appeal to others at my expense.. i’ve been thinking about how im not good enough for this type of guy to like me LIKE WHO AMMM IIII WHY DO I CARE...WEIRDO..... maybe im dragging myself too hard i dont think i do this much but i do be a nice comfy doormat for others :)

but overall i feel better than a few weeks ago i think! idk what that was about why is my brain like this....making irrational thoughts and hurting my own feelings...idk but it will be okay :)

[oh-shit-a-baby]

BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS PART TWO

A complete compilation of my thoughts throughout the musicals second half,,, this bois going to be real long bc I have a lot of thoughts lol

Now without @drawinglinesinarbitraryplaces :(

Yep dumbledore can still sing

Omg his voice

This song is going to make me cry aaaaa

Becky: you don’t look at all the same as I remember

Me: yeah no shit dumbledore grew a beard

Jesus,,,,, theyre just going to go for it right there,,,,,, ookay

Wtaf is this movie they’re watching

HOLY SHIT HER VOICE IS /PRETTY/ HER RANGE IS HUGE!!!

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion bc no one has an opinion yet but Becky and toms song is the cutest one ever and a bop and I love it

Jesus they payed for a balcony and they’re going to fucking use it aren’t they

WELCOME TO PEIP HQ IM SO DOWN FOR THAT

OH THERE ARE MANY DIMENSIONS????? U GONNA EXPLAIN THAT MR GENERAL MACNAMARA????

The black and white isn’t that what lexs sister was on about

Wiggly is the king u wot m8

President kurt knows nothing about anything and that’s a mood

So if the next movie isn’t about ‘13 years ago’ imma freak

U WANNA SEND ME INTO THE FUCKIN TWILIGHT ZONE AND HAVE DINNER WITH THE DEVIL??????!?!!

NO!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

^^^president kurt quotes

In short, mr president, we are trying to stop the birth

*dramatic piano*

Of a god.

*dRAMATIC PIANO*

It’s good score tho 10/10

Sherman young

Nuff said

After today’s great battle???

Faith in the one true god!! All hail wiggly!!!

My new religion lol

LET LAKESIDE MALL BE A NEW JERUSALEM!!!!

*cue joey and Robert just screaming wiggly for like 5 mins straight*

NO THEY FOUND LEX

OH YEAH FUCKIN KILL THEM!!!

Who????????

FUCK YEAH LINDA

CULT??? NO! ITS A NEW EXCITING RELIGION THAT I STARTED!!!!

Yeah Gerald

She pronounces Cinnabon as see-nah-bohn what’s up with that lol

I NEED A WIGGLY DOLL...... IDEALLY FOUR OF THEM!!!

IVE MET GOD. HE HAD NOTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT YOU.

*cue people dying and their mics stopping working*

Holy fuck they all wanna kill Hannah now (lexs sister gets a name now apparently)

LAUREN I LOVE YOU AS A VILLAIN

I would kneel before villain Lauren any day

I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything and then I will oh shit it’s Gerald.

While I don’t want you to think for yourselves I do want you to understand what I mean when I say my evil shit

I’m sorry that choreo is a yike

ETHAN DARLING COME BACK I MISS YOU <<<333333

IM CRYING NOW

He’s in the black and white now we’ll that sounds like shit

NOT ETHAN

Hannah is the unsung hero of this musical so far

*said in wiggly voice* well, webby (Hannah’s spider imaginary friend who I think is gonna be the deus ex machina of this thing) is a stupid bitch!

Rotten little banana. I’m going to peel you. I’m going to split you in two. I’m going to eat you Hannah. I’m going to eat you right now. *all said in dramatic wiggly voice*

Aaand their mics broke again

We don’t get tricked! We’re grown ups!

And Becky and Tom are immediately evil the second they see the wiggly bc of course they are

Jesus beckys the villain???????

Welcome to the musical where everyone gets a villain song AND a hero song??????

Her voice is still beautiful

*Prancing around* DO YOU WANT SOME CANDYYYYY??????

She’s still wearing ethans hat my heart is going to go oh my god

And he just,,,,, leaves Becky to die?????

President Kurt in a space suit oh my god

And America is great again is playing in the background

MACNAMARA SAID ‘GODSPEED’ AND IS THAT A CATCHPHRASE I SENSE THERE

Yeah no president kurt can’t do foreign policy

His name is like howie or something but imma call him president kurt just like Tom was dumbledore for like the first half of this mess

Oh fuck joeys character is here and he’s gonna FUCK PREZ KURT UP

He’s eating an apple that means he’s a asshole

Holy fuck joeys character is like the ultimate capitalist

And also terrifying holy shit

NO MACNAMARA DONT GO IN THERE

Joeys character: Do you think that in the Netherlands they’d care about some toy??? Nah!!! They’re too busy with their free vacations and FREE healthcare!!

(When I refer to joeys character I mean the evil one he just doesn’t have a name yet so idk what to call him)

And joey can still sing I love him

His voice is so good and this whole villain is giving me spies are forever flashbacks

I have absolutely no fuckin clue what’s going on rn

Holy fuck joeys voice is so beautiful and his range is killing me

I take back what I said earlier this song is the best one bc joey

Holy fuck someone just hit like a high d and I have no clue who it was bc the video quality is not the greatest

JESUS THATS TERRIFYING

THE FUCK YOU MEAN DONT BE FRIGHTENED THATS MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON

LOOK AT THIS FUCKER JESUS CHRIST

Wiggly is so scary because he speaks like a child and those are scary

MACNAMARA EX MACHINA

Mac: BEGONE

Prez kurt: SORRY JOHN I FUCKED IT UP

THATS THE HOOK FROM NOT YOUR SEED ISNT IT HOLY SHIT

Joeys voice and acting is gonna kill me

Yeah made in America is the shit

MAC NO U CANT DIE U DIE IN TGWDLM

Also the black and white is a dumb as shit name for an alternate reality

Prez kurt: MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

*wiggly voice* Uh-oh mr prezzy-wez. It seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-womb.

Well shits about to go down

I’m calling it the bomb bombed the White House

Oop no they’ve only gone and lost Moscow

Well fuck here comes ww3 I guess

And prez kurt is definitely insane in the brain

ITS THE HOOK AGAIN THE ‘ALIENS INVADING MINDS’ BIT OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A MUSICAL GENIUS

Jesus Sherman is a weird fuck and lex is kinda clever I guess it’s a shame we haven’t seen her for most of the musical

Lex: I THREW EM IN THE FUCKIN TRASH

LEX BABY NO DONT DIE

Lex: Is this what I live for? To be choked in a toy store?

Lexs beautiful song is this musicals version of not your seed but depression

And her voice is /pretty/

MAC?????????????

WHAT??????????????

OH MY GOD HE IS AUTHORISING HER TO USE HIS FIREARM YES QUEEN

I’m sorry lex and Hannah can do what

Jeffs voice kills me him and joey need a duet and that would be the end of me

What did lex just do in so confused

MAC DID THE SALUTE IMMA CRY YALL

And we’re back with Tom

Oh fuck lex is gonna shoot tom

Hold up Tom names his son Tim

Wiggly is playing mind tricks now yikes

Lex: KIDS DONT WANT THAT PEICE OF SHIT!!!

Tom: wat

Lex: THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE!!!!!

So the doll can only fuck with adults not kids???

Jesus Christ this is depressing

U wot lex

Lex: YOURE LIKE 40!!!!! YOU PROBABLY THINK YOURE LIFE IS OVER!!!!

Holy fuck this shit is deep

Wait lex still doesn’t know about Ethan oh my god

And Dylan gets another hero song holy fuck just give Robert a song already everyone else has one

At the same time though this is S a d

I’m not crying you’re crying

YES DUMBLEDORE U HIT THAT HIGH NOTE

Tom: in fact you’re real fuckin ugly

Me: yeah no shit

Lex: FUCK YEAH!!!! Should i move these boxes first?

*cue very clever scene change*

Yeah Gerald no one wants to talk to u

Oh my god Linda leave Hannah and ethans hat alone my heart is breaking for Hannah

Linda: is this some kind of a jooooke?????

They’re gonna set one of their dolls on fire ok ok ok this is fine

More villain songs ookay

If someone could tell me what the fuck is going on in this scene I’d be very impressed

Evil yoga

YES LAUREN U QUEEN

HOLY FUCK IS THAT CHARLOTTE??????

OH MY GOD ITS JAIME IN THE CHARLOTTE COSTUME IT IS CHARLOTTE HOLY SHIT

ITS CHARLOTTE AND THE HOMELESS DUDE HOLY SHIT

The choreo is...... interesting

Cue Robert not-Corey and Lauren being the only good dancers and getting special choreo

FUCK YEAH BECKY WITH THE GUN

LINDA NO

Ookay so everyone’s on fire this is fine

Emma and Paul ex machina

SOMEBODY NUKED MOSCOW!

paul is family third wheeling

YOU KNOW, SHE HAS THIS KOOKY RECLUSIVE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR

*audience fucking looses their shit*

WHO LIVES ON THE EDGE OF TOWN

Paul is having an existential crisi because he sHOULD HAVE WORN A WATCH

Someone’s gonna fall of that staircase by the end of this performance

HOLY FUCK ITS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID

IT IS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID OH NY GODDDDD

LOOK AT HIM

It’s the what if tomorrow comes bit!!!!!!!

Okay again this choreo is interesting but the vocals are all S t u n n i n g

They’re literally counting down until the end of the show imma loose my shit that’s the least subtle they’ve been during the entire show

Hang on hang on hang on hang on haaaaang on right there

Did lex just never find out that her boyfriend died we were deprived of a heart wrenching moment when she found out about Ethan

Like jeez I cried and I barely knew him she was dating the guy and just... didn’t ask about him????

ITS THE HOOK AGAIN

That’s it!!!!! Those were my thoughts the first time I watched this through!!!!!!!

Scream at me in the notes with any questions and I’ll try answer them :)

[cheryllcher]

happy new (tears) year

welp the new year (and decade) is here, so i thought i write a little something, and why not a mishmash of angst (dont worry it’s barely there lol) and a big bunch of fluff it’s crazy. wanted to go for marichat but then this came to mid so yea :) anywayy hope u enjoy this lil short thing and happy new year!! :))

—-

The Dupain-Cheng household was colourful. No kidding, the house is just filled with multi-coloured fairy lights and glow sticks. New Year’s was just around the corner, and hour walk down the path of time and there it would be. And so, a party is held, to send off the current year and welcome the new one with family and friends.

A whole lot more people came then expected, humans interacting with other humans and laughing with even more humans. This didn’t deter Tom and Sabine though, they continued hosting the party with elegance. The more the merrier they always say. The table had a selection of food laid out on it, each item contributed by the different families that attended. Cider flowing, video games playing, faces smiling, the party was in full swing. A Dupain-Cheng celebration never fails to disappoint, this one included.

Marinette buzzed around the house, making sure all the guests are enjoying themselves, letting her parents relax with the other adults for a bit. Rose and Juleka were huddled by the warm fire munching on pastries, Kim and Alix were currently half-drunk from all the dares(the sober, responsible grown ups were not amused with the children with their underaged drinking *ahem* Roger *ahem*), and Nino and Alya were currently in the corner whispering among themselves suspiciously, which Marinette was sure she knew what it was about. The others were sitting on the ground cheering on a game of Mecha Strike.

Adrien-who was miraculously (pun not intended i swear) allowed to the party with Kagami (also a surprise)- was covered head to ankle with glow sticks. Seriously this guy went crazy he finished a whole box himself and that was like 50 sticks. He was currently conversing with Luka about Jagged Stone and the instruments they play. Kagami was sitting by the side clearly awkward and trying to camouflage with the wall behind her cuz ohmygod there are two hot guys in front of me. The pigtailed girl who was watching from afar deflated slightly at that due to how close her crush and one of her other friends were, wishing it was her who stood beside him instead. But she can’t. It was way too awkward and sort of tentioney to go there.

The clock sure ticks fast, as soon the long hand’s ran close to the 11 mark, indicating that it was slightly more than 5 minutes before the new decade began. (wow a new decade already. time really does fly :) ) Adrien and Kagami were left talking in a corner, seemingly getting closer by the second, Luka long since away from the conversation. Marinette’s heart couldn’t take it, her chest slowly constricting in on itself at the sight. So instead of being with everyone else for the countdown, she snuck up the stairs to her attic-turned-bedroom, before heading to the balcony. Uneasy thoughts swirled around her mind as she looked up at the barely there stars, mostly erased by light pollution from the city below.

Adrigami’s gonna be alive soon, well pretty much alive now, and Adrienette’s dead for good now. What will i do, Monsieur Stars, how will i ever move on?

Adrien and Marinette actually got together after the ‘just-a-friend-zoning’ shenanigans was over, pure sweet, gooey cheesiness around them. So their breakup came as a huge surprise to everyone, disappointing the Adrienette shippers around the city. It was mutual though, both of then clearly not ready to have a relationship in their lives. And they were still friends, hanging out with everyone together except alone with the other. But no matter how hard to tried, how long she took, she couldn’t get her ex and friend out of her head.

Tikki, who had been perched on her shoulder trying to offer comfort to her friend suddenly buzzed away, leaving Marinette conscious of her surroundings. She didn’t turn when the skylight on the floor of the balcony opened, and internally breathed out in relief. At least it’s not an akuma. She assumed it was Alya though, in her too sad to even acknowledge you fully mood, and started speaking to the presence behind her.

“Alya if you’re here to try to get me in on one of your ‘seduce Adrien and make him fall for me again’ plan, I’m not in. He’s clearly with Kagami.”

“Well, I’m not very sure I’m up for being seduced,” a chuckle followed, “but I am now very curious about this plan.”

A shriek nearly slipped out of Marinette’s lips if not for the fact that she placed her hand over her mouth, a silent scream the only thing that remained. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t blink, couldn’t move. Adrien was afraid he’d be seeing her eyeballs fall out, so he continued.

“Sorry for just coming out here, I saw you being sneaky and decided to follow.” Then he did that cure little thing were he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Oh god he was adorable.

“Wh-Wha...Aren’t you- gah?”

He heard the many questions in that unintelligible nonsense, understanding everything she was trying to put into words without success. He always did.

“I’m here because I want to talk to you. Yes,

I was with Kagami, and no, we aren’t a thing. I heard you talking to the stars young lady. I... don’t feel that way for her, so I had to be honest with her.” The teasing smile never left his face even if it got a touch shy and awkward.

Oh no I said my thoughts out loud.

“Yes, you did.”

Darn it!

“Anyway, I just wanted to try to confess about how I can’t move on no matter how hard I try and to get some kind of closure or something if you’ve managed to move on with life... but I see the feeling’s mutual?” Hope. Spilling out from his voice, so much.

“You’ve got a minute, hot stuff. Tell me what you wanna say before the year’s over and we’ll see where to go from there. I want to hear everything so speak.” Her confidence is somewhat there, something in her heart fighting it’s way up against the sadness from before. The young man gladly followed the demand.

“Marinette, I know we’ve parted ways thinking it’s for the best as we weren’t up for it, but I still think of you every moment, still falling deeper and deeper into your trap as each day passes. You’ve stolen my heart long ago and it’s so deep in your clutches I simply can’t get it back anymore.

“I want to treat you like the princess you deserve to be once more and make up for all the time we’ve lost. I want to hold you again, shower you with affection and gifts and love. I want to make you smile that smile that I miss so much. I want my best friend back.

“I’m ready now, and I’m not going to choose anyone else, because I can’t... So, Princess, if you are ready as well and are willing... Will you have me? Again?”

The countdown’s starting in the living room.

10! 9!

Her brain short circuited.

8! 7!

His doubts starts streaming in.

6! 5!

She nods her head quickly, tears slipping from her eyes. He laughs out his relief, tears leaking out of his eyes as well.

4! A step closer.

3! Heads tilting forward simultaneously.

2! Eyes fluttered close and breaths mingled

1! Happy New Year!

Lips pressed gently against lips as cheers erupted from downstairs, completely unaware of the sweet fluff happening upstairs. The bells of the Notre Dame rang loud and clear but were not heard by the two teenagers. It lasted for a minute, both parting in need of air.

“Happy New Year, Princess.”

“Happy New Year, my Prince.”

—-

Bonus:

“Geez, my cheese can’t cover up the sweetness here!” A cheese-loving cat kwami grumbled from a shelf in Marinette’s room.

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t want your own New Year’s kiss?” His counterpart asked slyly.

“Nonono, come here sugarcube. I need that kiss to survive the suffering until they figure out their identities.”

[confused-bi-nerd]

Ok so it's like 2 in the morning but you know what I'm f*cking desperate for?

Modern day Anne with an E

I mean obviously the original historical context is just f*cking awesome.

But picture Anne being an incredible badass feminist bi icon. (Does she have a youtube channel? Who knows???? That'd be cool...)

Her new family, two pretty "traditionally" raised siblings at first have a hard time with her and her identity and intensity about everything. (When dont they though right)

She doesn't even have to be a "mistake." Nowadays with cellphones and stuff a confusion like that would be impossible. But maybe she just ran away because the orphanage was abusive af and kept sending her to sh*tty homes.

And honestly if Matthew doesn't have asperger/autism/down but it went ignored cause "we just don't talk about it" but Anne came and was like "that's f*cked up were getting you diagnosed and treated Matthew dammit" then what even is the point.

Diana being raised in a really harsh and severe family so she's afraid her mom will find out about her best friend being, well, her. (No, they are not dating, they're BFFs as originally just that Diana's mom sucks even more in the actual timeline.)

Honestly I just LOVE Anne and Diana's friendship. Like they've literally known each other for one day and they already have this deep bond, they truly are kindred spirits. I think Diana wouldn't even have a hard time accepting Anne; she would just be relieved she could finally explore herself. (Ace-Di-ana-Ace-Di-ana)

Cole (yes, Cole, book and series mixture S u C k I t) being openly gay and spending a lot of his time just laying low at Anne's because his parents also s u c k. (Uhhh maybe then he just realises he doesn't HAVE TO go back to his sh*tty parents and moves with aunt Jo, the Eccentric City Lesbian tm) (And also honestly let's say f*ck it and go all out: Cole with eyeliner)

Man they'd probably sneak around a lot talking about all this "forbidden stuff". Cole would join them whenever they were at Anne's (most of the time anyways) because Diana's mom knows his mom and there's no way in hell he'd risk crossing her way.

Mr IDKwhat (that teacher dating a student) being an ACTUAL pedophile and it being f*cking reported and shut down. (Yes I realize this was era appropriate but SURPRISE, stuff changed)

OMG GUYS MISS STACY

I could make a whole post about miss Stacy alone but lets just go with badass lesbian teacher who actively fights the school and the parents, takes bs from no one and basically adopts all of her students in need.

Also let's be honest, the Barrys would probably be this really wealthy family with a bigass house in the suburbs and they'd all own IPhones or some sh*t and the Cuthberts would be this regular middle class family with an inherited little house in a not-so-awesome-but-still-pretty-nice neighbourhood; so Diana's mom already isn't a big fan of Anne because a) "she's a freaking street orphan for God's sake" and b) "her ClAsS isn't exactly the SaMe as ours Diana dEaR". So imagine if she found out her _perfect older daughter's_ two best friend are queer icons one of them being "a BoY wHo WeArS mAkEuP" *scandalized old British lady accent*

And I can totally picture Anne with this really weird pet, like a mouse or a small bird or one of those extrangely small cats that you can carry in your pocket and her talking to it and it really looks like a conversation to outsiders. (Because it is, they're discussing the latest episode of a show or planning a prank on Cole's stupid homophobic mom)

Let's be honest, Anne would be the BIGGEST fan of Rent. I'm talking memorizing both songs AND dialogue and having a thousand fan theories she'd be able to defend against rain and wind. (This one was originally drafted during my Rent phase, geez it is a great musical though)

OMG GUYS JERRY AND DIANA. I'm talking Jerry being an old friend of Anne's (Orphanage? Foster home? The streets? We'll see...) and him falling HARD for Diana. (Not the same plot as the series though, I know it wouldn't have been possible back then but they'd totally stay together in MY self indulgent AU of everything. Still would exist the class issues and the Anne-Diana fight about it, bonus point if Jerry ends up Latino cause I want more representation man)

Maybe this part being on them more advanced on their life (Maybe the whole thing could be more advanced? Like directly starting with them at 16 or stg??? Cause like they are all sounding way too independent for twelve year olds) so Cole already moved to an apartment in the city near aunt Jo but all in all being independent and pushing through despite his terrible TERRIBLE parenting. And like both Anne AND Diana going to him with their class issues fight (Is Cole Latino/African American? I'd like that.... Let's say so it's my 2:40 am fantasy after all) and him being all surprised because a) He was most definitely NOT expecting them b) This two never fight about anything and c) Diana and Jerry? Geez how long was he away?

And I would legitimate M u R d E r someone for their yelling match across Cole's apartment being interrupted by like a male voice asking "Cole where is X thing?" And Anne and Diana like "I thought you'd been living alone this two years (two years, let's say so my brain is shutting down) since leaving aunt Jo's" and Cole being like "you've also missed a lot" And essentially that's how they meet Cole's boyfriend who doesn't understand a thing but rolls with it because he finally gets to meet famous Avonlea friends (the neighbourhood should be called Avonlea or among those line at least)

Anne and Gilbert WILL end up together cause I honestly think they're meant to be they just compliment each other but like maybe while fighting her totally obvious inner crush she'd date a few people, some girls, some boys, just casually bi-ing by but like settling but still being bi cause that's just real bi people

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[moonlitstories]

New Year Blind Date- Myungjin

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

SURPRISE! I told you I’d send you a gift! It’s a little later than I thought but just in time for New Years! Happy New Year @vonseal​! ❤️

It’s my first member ship-fic so sorry if its not that good :( and sorry that it’s long… I hope you enjoy it though!

Word count: 2,870

Housemates

Headache: Hyuuuuuung~ Headache: Jin Jin Hyuuuuuung~ Headache: Just go on the date please!

Me: Give me a good reason to go Dongmin

Swag: You have nothin to do on new year’s eve?

Me: What r u talking about Rocky? I got u guys!

Headache: We have dates remember?

Swag: Ya cuz we have boyfriends unlike you

Headache: Rocky!

Swag: Wat? It’s not our fault his boyfriend cheated on him. Swag: And to find out on Christmas eve too.. Swag: I told you he was bad news hyung Swag: But you didnt want to listen

Headache: Minhyuk! Stop talking about him! Headache: Hyung, are you sure you don’t want Bin to beat him up? Headache: Hyung… You’re either crying again or typing really slow

Me: Im not crying Dongmin and no I dont want ur boyfriend to get involved. Me: Plus him getting punched by both me + his “fiancé” is enough Me: AND Me: I AM NOT GOING ON THE BLIND DATE!

Swag: But! Both Sanha and Bin-hyung said he’s a really nice guy! Swag: Plus you don’t want to spend the countdown alone do you?

Me: Look. Rocky. Dongmin. Me: I’m sure he’s nice + all but I dont think I can trust anyone right now… Me: He was the 5th guy to cheat on me Me: I trust Bin + Sanha but I dont think my heart can take it if another guy cheats on me

Swag: You mean USES you to cheat

Headache: MINHYUK!

Me: Minhyuk…. You better hide when I get home tonight

Headache: He called you “Minhyuk” Headache: You’re done for. Headache: DON’T THINK YOU CAN HIDE IN MY ROOM EITHER!

[Change “Swag” to “Dead”? Yes/No?]

Dead: I’ll agree to getting a dog if you go on the blind date

[Change “Dead” to “SWAG”? Yes/No]

Me: Deal

Headache: I wish you said that earlier

SWAG: Eh~ I thought it would’ve been more fun to actually convince him

Headache: You’re dead when I get home

Crazy-College Friends

Bap: M-hyung youre going on the blind date right?????

Maknae: Ya hyung! Maknae: Rocky said they put A LOT of effort into convincing him! Maknae: Please go! Rocky will be sad during our date if his hyung is home alone

Me: No Me: Every time I went on a date. THAT WAS IT Me: A DATE. ONE DATE. THERE WAS NEVER A SECOND DATE!

Bap: Dongminnie said that hes really kind and has a big heart tho Bap: I’m sure you’ll go on a second date with him!

Me: He just got cheated on Me: I don’t think he’s exactly ready for a date in general -.-

Bap: Sanha told you didnt he

Me: Yes Me: Doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t gonna go in the first place! Me: Plus! Wouldn’t you guys miss seeing me every time you get home! Or when I third-wheel on your dates sometimes!

Maknae: No offence hyung, but…

Bap: Youre always sulking whenever we get home from a date and we didnt bring you

Maknae: And when you third-wheel it ends up with you always standing/sitting/walking in-between me and Rocky… Maknae: We know you’re jealous on the inside hyung

Bap: We just want you to be happy too Bap: Please! Just this once! Bap: If you guys don’t have a second date then we promise never to set you up on blind dates again!

Me: Promise?

Bap: Promise!

Maknae: Promise….

Me: Ok~ Fine~ I’ll go

Maknae: *Promise not! Maknae: Bin-hyung~ You owe me and Rocky $5 each Maknae: Bin-hyung promised me and Rocky $5 each if we could get you guys to agree to going on the blind date

Me: -_- Me: Sanha if you see police cars outside the house tonight just walk away and stay over at Minhyuk’s place

Maknae: GOT IT HYUNG!

Bap: ?????????????????? Bap: Sanha if I live after tonight youre dead

Maknae: I think I’ll stay over at Rocky’s/Dongmin-hyung’s place tonight…

Eleven am on the dot, Jinwoo walked in and sat down at one of the diner tables. Dongmin and Bin had set up everything for them. Jinwoo and his blind date would meet at eleven o’clock on New Year’s Eve at a small diner for lunch.

A few days ago: “I don’t want anything fancy Dongmin. I don’t think it’ll go well anyways so I don’t want to spend too much money. No offense to your friend Bin.” Bin shook his head, “None taken. Honestly, Hyung would prefer something simple too.”

So there he was, waiting for his blind date to walk in. His eyes darted back and forth from the menu to the door every time the bell chimed. He didn’t know what his blind date looked like, but Bin had told him that he would stand out a lot.

Jinwoo didn’t understand what that even meant until he looked to door as the bell chimed and the brightest person he had ever seen walked in. Myungjun was wearing a bright orange knitted-sweater and had a smile on his face just as bright as his sweater. 

Myungjun looked around for, what Minyuk had described as “a dull and slow looking person.” He didn’t have a clue what it meant till he saw a man sitting by himself staring at him, mouth agape. He was shocked at how cute he was and really hoped that the man was his blind date.

He cautiously approached the man who was obviously still trying to process what was happening. “Hi! Are you Minhyuk and Dongmin’s friend?” Jinwoo slowly nodded his head, “Are you Bin and Sanha’s friend?” Myungjun enthusiastically nodded, “Yup! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Myungjun! But you can call me MJ!” He raised his hand out for a handshake.

Jinwoo’s heart skipped a beat. He told himself he wouldn’t fall in love so easily but the man before him was gushing with joy and the way he talked so energetically made one of the locks to his heart open. 

“I’m Jinwoo. Nice to meet you too… MJ?” He smiled and raised his hand to meet MJ’s. Unbeknownst to him, MJ was a nickname Myungjun had made up on the spot. No one but Jinwoo would call him MJ, but he need not know that just yet.

“Jinwoo…” He thought for a second as he sat down in his seat across from Jinwoo. “Is it ok if I call you JinJin? I think it sounds cute! It suits you!” Jinwoo blushed and simply nodded. MJ gave the brightest and loudest laugh JinJin had ever heard and it made his heart melt. 

But JinJin wasn’t the only one who’s heart was opening up. Behind his smile MJ was slowly getting more and more worried. Just within the first few minutes of having met, he was already hoping to have a second date with this man. He loved JinJin’s angelic smile and his movements reminded him of a sloth but his eyes of a puppy.

As their date progressed, MJ realized how low JinJin’s voice was and how slow he talked. But he liked the way his voice sounded so smooth and made him feel calm. JinJin thought MJ talked very fast and very loudly. After a while, he realized MJ’s voice wasn’t just loud but also higher pitched but it didn’t bother him. The way he spoke made him feel happier and more energetic than usual and he liked that feeling.

“You should’ve seen them Jin Jin! Bin didn’t even bother control himself in front of me! Dongmin kept blushing and telling Bin to stop kissing him but NO~ Bin just told me to go home! Can you believe that???” MJ continued to rant as he scarfed down the burger he ordered. JinJin shook his head and continued to listen to MJ’s ranting. “Ah! But did Minhyuk tell you about him and Sanha’s deal with Bin?”

JinJin’s head shot up, “No? What deal?” Thus, MJ passed his phone over to JinJin and showed him the texts with Bin and Sanha. “Bin is dead next time I see him.” “Oh. Don’t worry! I made sure Bin learned his lesson.” MJ gave the most innocent evil smile and they both laughed.

“I got this, MJ” Jin Jin picked up the bill and quickly went up to the cashier to pay their bill before MJ could refuse. MJ slowly finished his drink and dragged himself to the door. Meanwhile, Jin Jin was taking his time paying for the bill by paying by cash. Unbeknownst to them, both of them were sad that their lunch was done and both hopeful that the date would continue for the day.

MJ waited for Jin Jin outside as he thought of all the possible things he could say to him to extend the date. Before he decided what to say, Jin Jin walked out and looked at him. Simultaneously: “What do you want to do next?”

Both of them were shocked and burst out laughing. MJ pointed down the street, “I know a good ice cream parlor a couple blocks down that way! It’s pretty cheap and they give large servings! My treat since you payed for our lunch!” Jin Jin nodded and followed MJ in the direction he had pointed.

MJ walked with a skip as he continued to talk about the ice cream parlor to JinJIn. Jin Jin listened with a smile on his face merely admiring MJ’s smile. It was cloudy and a bit chilly out but Jin Jin felt warm in MJ’s presence.

“Hyung -” MJ spun around and put his finger to his lips silencing Jin Jin. He looked at him confused as MJ glared at him. “Don’t call me that.” “Why not? You’re older than me?…” 

MJ looked couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t tell Jin Jin that he didn’t want him to be formal because he felt like it meant he had no chance of being more than friends with him. MJ waved his hand to forget the matter and continued to walk towards the parlor. 

“Stupid brain…” He thought to himself as Jin Jin talked to him about Minhyuk agreeing to get a dog and thinking about what breed they should get. “It’s not like we’ll go on a second date… Stupid heart… stop beating so loudly… Stop hoping for something impossible for us…” His heart payed his thoughts no mind and continued to beat louder and louder and he watched the joy on Jin Jin’s face as he talked about dogs.

“Go ahead and get whatever you want Jin Jin!” “Are you sure? Cuz I’m thinking of getting that double scoop sundae…” “One of what he said and for me… I’ll get one of those popsicle sticks.” The cashier looked at them with amusement and proceeded to get their ice cream: “You’re in luck! You got the last popsicle stick for the day!” He smiled as he handed them their ice cream.

“MJ, you made me look fat…” Jin Jin pouted and MJ’s heart skipped a beat for the thousandth time today. “It’s ok! I ate like a pig back at the diner! Plus, you spent more there than I am here!” MJ smiled as Jin Jin couldn’t refute his answer.

“Anyways!… It’s a taboo topic for a first date, but I mean you already know my dating history from Sanha… What’s your’s?” MJ was shocked by the question and stopped opening his popsicle. “Well-”

As he was about to answer, the child in-line with her mother began to cry, “I’m sorry sweetie! But they don’t have anymore popsicle ice cream.” “But mommy! You promised me we’d get some today!” She began to cry louder as the mother apologized to the cashier and the nearby customers. 

MJ suddenly stood up and walked towards them. He kneeled down in front of the little girl with a gentle smile on his face. “Hi, princess! You can have mine! I didn’t open it yet so it’s still brand new!” The girl’s crying became sniffles as she looked to her mother for approval. “Ah! It’s ok, sir!” 

“No! I insist! I could always get something else! Plus, my date and I just got here so it shouldn’t be melted at all!” The mother could sense his sincerity, “Then, at least let me pay for your ice cream or pay you back for-” “It’s ok! Just seeing her smile is payment enough!” He smiled brightly towards the mother. She couldn’t argue with him any longer and nodded to her daughter to take it.

The little girl jumped and smiled brightly, “Thank you!” The mother mouthed “Thank you again” as the two of them walked out of the store. Jin Jin just watched everything in awe. MJ wasn’t just bright like the sun, he was even brighter! His heart couldn’t ignore how sweet that was of MJ to sacrifice his ice cream just to see a little girl smile. “Stop beating so fast heart… You’ll make me want to trust him… I told you we wouldn’t trust anyone anymore, so please, stop beating so quickly…” But his heart wouldn’t listen as he watched MJ return with a double scoop sundae and a bright smile on his face.

Without realizing it, it was already ten o’clock at night. T-minus two hours to the new year. After getting ice cream, they just went with the flow and just walked and talked. They didn’t want to admit it to themselves nor their hearts, but they were both enjoying being in each other’s company and their conversations just made the time fly by. They only realized the time after MJ’s stomach called out for dinner.

“It’s already seven o’clock??” Jin Jin looked at MJ and without a second thought, “Why don’t we eat dinner?” MJ’s eyes widened and his fears of Jin Jin saying let’s go home faded as he enthusiastically nodded.

The two of them walked into a park and sat down on a bench. Jin Jin looked up and MJ followed his gaze. “Don’t you think the stars look so pretty?” MJ nodded even though he knew Jin Jin wasn’t looking. “In two hours they’ll disappear and the sky will be lit up with fireworks though…” “I think fireworks are just as pretty as the stars though.” Jin Jin looked to MJ and nodded.

“Since it’s only two hours away why don’t we just do the count down together?… I MEAN! That’s if you want to…? I was just thinking, since you know, Bin and Dongmin are on a date and so are Sanha and Rocky…” Jin Jin blushed and “scratched” the back of his neck. “YES!” MJ jumped up from the bench and covered his mouth out of embarrassment. “I mean… Ya, of course. That would be nice.” He sat back down embarrassed but Jin Jin just chuckled.

It took them almost an hour to get to the river front, where a lot of people gathered for the count down. It took them half an hour to find a good spot where there weren’t that many people near by, but still had a good view. Even though it was stressful, they didn’t care. MJ kept making jokes along the way and kept messing with Jin Jin every time he worried if it was too crowded where they were.

They continued to talk and enjoy each other’s company and before they knew it they were getting up to do the count down:

TEN! “Maybe it’s not a bad thing to give love another shot huh heart?” Jin Jin told himself.

NINE! “Maybe I should just ask. It wouldn’t hurt to ask and if I don’t even ask how would I know if he really didn’t want to go on another date?” MJ told himself

EIGHT! “MJ seems like a really innocent, pure and kind guy. I don’t think he’d cheat on me or use me.”

SEVEN! “Jin Jin is far more perfect than those other guys I ever went on dates with and I don’t want to regret not asking him on another date.”

SIX! “Ok heart… I’ll listen to you one more time…”

FIVE! “My heart’s beating so fast… I’ll hope one more time…”

FOUR! Simultaneously “Deep breath.” / “You got this”

THREE! Simultaneously “MJ!”/ ”Jin Jin!”

TWO! Simultaneously “Do you want to go on another date?”

ONE! Simultaneously “I’D LOVE TO GO ON ANOTHER DATE!” 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” Ecstatic, they hugged each other for the new year and out of excitement for the other’s answer. After they stopped staring at each other, they realized everyone around them was kissing. They looked at each other and both blushed.

“Shall we go find the others?” Jin Jin offered. MJ nodded and they slithered their way out of the crowd. Starting their new year with renewed faith and hope, their hearts were whole again. It was a sign to them that the year to come would be a happy one. Hand in hand they walked home to meet with their friends.

“I told you they’d be together by the end of the day! Give me my five dollars back both of you!”

“You guys were betting on me and MJ again???”

“Who’s MJ?”

“???????????????”

“Oops…”

[pokefanbri]

I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤