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#i need cpr friend
cinamun · 2 months
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All I gotta say to Bishop is....
Making my way thru the hood, slippin this yak, your bout to get blown with the mac
Pla-ket ket ket-ket A pla-ket ket ket ket
Ridin around the block with the glock, yo ass finna get shot
Pew pew pew pew-pew!! *thats the silencer*
Boom boom boom boom- boom!! *thats the grenade launcher*
pla-ket ket ket Im finna k**l you pla-ket ket ket ket Im finna drill you pla ket ket ket ket
And now your bleeeeE-ding...if pla-ket ket ket...when I sh**t you in the neck da noise go pla-ket ketttt. You know I will sh**t you in your eye.. just so I can hear da pla-kettttttttt
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PLE-KEH-KEH-KEH-KET
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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noburden · 1 year
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about to become a lifeguard who’s excited for me to save lives
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bingobongobonko · 10 months
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strawbebyjam · 10 months
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i always forget to clarify things before stuff happens TwT
#kind of a general thing but#in specific stuff too like i only realize boundaries/questions as things go#and then get too nervous to do things and. mmm like. i don’t need to fix everything or make everything perfect esp when it’s not in my#control but if there was things that could be passively helpful or make sure things don’t feel more tense than they need to or something#like i get too conscious of the tiniest things?#bc of work i don’t have to think about things as much but more of just like#i shouldn’t be overthinking just. whether or not to rt the same thing someone has#but i also don’t want to overstep if that’s accidentally overstepping a boundary#i think having been friends w someone who was a terminal passive aggresser has me worried all the time about accidentally doing things that#could be taken as passive aggression bc 90% of the time w them it was#in any case just wanted to ge t this out of brain so onto here it goes HDJDJDJ#in good news i got off work two hours early! and they’re not taking that off timesheet so it’s 36 free bucks#also i’m almost cpr certified! and it’s. shockingly reassuring to have those skills under my belt officially and unofficially#also came out to some coworkers so that was nice and they’re so so so sweet about it HDJDHDJD active allys#and one of them dropped me closer to home so i dont have to take the bus for as long :((#i’m not a liar i do m*** m**** but i’d rather be patient and help when i can than to invade in on his space and make things feel even more#overwhelming or suffocating than they are
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bedsyandco · 2 months
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𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊
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✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 … fem!reader x ollie bearman ✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 … in which ollie makes his F1 debut, his girlfriend is there to support and the two quickly become fan favourites. ✰ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 … no warnings!! badly cropped photos of other f1 couples bc I needed to use them :/ ✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 … after finding out ollie bearman and I share a birthday, he would not leave my head and this is the result!! as always I hope you like it <3
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formulawags
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formulawags: ollie bearman and his girlfriend, y/n, entering the paddock on friday and saturday. ollie is set to make his F1 racing debut today after the news broke that Carlos Sainz will not be fit to race this weekend due to appendicitis
… (view all comments)
racingirly: you’re telling me I just discovered this cutie and on the same day I have to find out he has a gf? 😔
⤷ user44: sucks to be you. the F2 girlies winning rn because we know and love y/n
⤷ user51: so real. people have been missing out if they don’t know y/n. her and ollie are easily the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.
⤷ racingirly: well can we get a rundown? how did they meet? how long have they been dating? what does she do for a living?
⤷ user44: they’ve been dating for two years now but they’ve known each other their whole lives. childhood friends. she’s the same age as ollie so she’s currently in uni. don’t know where or what she’s studying tho
⤷ user51: she goes to university of Oxford and she’s studying engineering. that’s why ollie refers to her as “his little genius”
⤷ user90: how do you know all of this?
⤷ user51: her and ollie went live one day at like 2AM and answered a bunch of questions while baking cookies
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olliebearman
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liked by georgerussel, charlesleclerc, and others.
olliebearman: P7 not bad at all. was an honour to drive for @scuderiaferrari this weekend. hope you feel better soon @.carlossainz and thanks for the tips @.charlesleclerc.
… (view all comments)
dennishauger: has a photo with charles and george but still puts his girl plucking his eyebrows at the front
⤷ olliebearman: priorities man.
formula2: our little ⭐️
yourusername: I love you so much. Beyond proud of you!!❤️
⤷ olliebearman: I love you❤️
paularon: does plucking the eyebrows make you weigh less or what?
⤷ olliebearman: something like that
user70: stop I love them so much. ollie having so many photos of this weekend and posting one of his girlfriend doing his eyebrows means so much to me
yourusername
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liked by olliebearman, paularon, and others.
yourusername: F1 debut weekend!! there’s so many things I could say but I’m going to keep it short🥲 I’m so beyond proud of my 🧸man. I’m in awe of him every day and he never fails to amaze me. you’re incredible and I love you so much ollie❤️🥺
… (view all comments)
olliebearman: you mean the world to me. thank you so much for always being my #1 supporter. I love you ❤️
⤷ yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️
paularon: reward kisses huh
⤷ yourusername: always 😌
charlesleclerc: it was very nice to meet you y/n! make sure to come visit the paddock and say hi whenever you’re travelling with ollie! 😊
⤷ user40: STFU😮
⤷ user81: y/n are you breathing?
⤷ olliebearman: she is not. guess I’ll have to do CPR
user52: stop cause I just know ollie was teasing her a bunch about her crush on charles this weekend
⤷ olliebearman: I can not confirm or deny🫡
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amp-phrog · 1 year
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Thoughts swirl throughout my brain, like eels writhing in the water, as I formulate ways to inflict my friends with mental torment. Yet I must sleep, for how will I perform without sufficient rest? Be still my eager mind, be still.
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etherealstar-writes · 3 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 11
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pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: eleven
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the REAL karate kid
hey y/n
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
yeah?
the REAL karate kid
would you wanna come watch us
play at the semi-finals?
you don't have to if you don't want to
we'll completely understand
neev
but we'd really love you to
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
hold on
the semi-finals?
willybum
yeah
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
like the england vs sweden semi-finals
in two days?
stairway
that one indeed
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
like watch you guys play in person??
neev
yes!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
wait
aren't all the tickets already sold out?
the REAL karate kid
we'll send you a ticket for the friends
and family section
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
oh
elton
so whatcha say?
neev
y/n bestie
you still alive?
it's been an hour ...
stairway
do i have to give you cpr??
kie
you don't even know cpr
stairway
you don't know that!
earpsy
you sure that's not an excuse to kiss her ...
stairway
of course not ...
willybum
WOAH wOAH
i dibs giving cpr then
stairway
AY NAHHH
BACK OFF WILLYASSON
willybum
THE HELL DID YOU JUST
CALL ME SUCKWAY
stairway
YOU TAKE THAT BACK RN LEAH
willybum
TRY ME GEORGIA
neev
hold on
i wanna give cpr!
stairway
SHUT UP CHARLES
willybum
SHUT UP CHARLES
brightness
i will literally shut all you guys up
permanently if you don't quit
fighting rn
rusty metal
i will voluntarily lend
you a hand in that
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
dam
i really enjoyed their bickering
i wouldn't really mind a mouth to mouth
cpr from you guys tho 👀
lotte
y/n!
i'm glad to see you're still alive
daily
y/n, hey!
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
i am very glad too lotte!
hey, rachel!
sorry my phone ran out of charge
and then i decided to take a shower
neev
Y/N BAE
you almost killed us with the suspense
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
you sure you don't need a cpr instead 👀
neev
i won't decline it if you're offering 👀
stairway
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neev
ugh stop ruining it stanway
go away
stairway
never
meado
ignore those two
so you're chill with us being the lionesses?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
i mean i'm still trying to comprehend how
i managed to get added in a chat full of
footballers but yeah of course
earpsy
blame that on ella
elton
um you mean thank
if not for me, we would've
never known each other
the REAL karate kid
wait hold on
shouldn't you guys be thanking
me instead
it was all because i changed numbers
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
before you guys begin arguing again
thank you all
how about that?
elton
we'll take it
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
good
now leave me in peace
i have a date tonight
ttyl
lotte
DATE?
willybum
HOLD ON
earpsy
HUH
neev
WHAT
DATE?!
HELLO ???
stairway
YOU'RE GONNA BE TAKEN??
BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME?!
elton
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meado
oh god
here we go again
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
part twelve here
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hazbinwhoree · 3 months
Note
Guardian angel pt.2? I'm already addicted to and love your stuff. Thx! :3
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Guardian Angel
Part 2/3 Part 3
A/N: Can anyone guess how I’m gonna end it?
Even if Adam wanted to bring (Name) to the light, which he didn’t, the task would prove nearly impossible anyway. Because Adam was coming to learn that (Name) was quite the little sinner. In only one week, she exhibited each of the 7 Sins.
She got in a fight with her best friend and refused to apologize, even though it meant sacrificing their relationship. Pride.
She spent over a hundred dollars in one sitting online shopping for shit she didn’t need. Greed.
She spent ten minutes going through another girl’s social media page, making snide comments about her as she went. Envy.
She broke a lamp in a fit of rage over, well, Adam didn’t even know what her temper tantrum was about. Wrath.
She kicked Adam out so she could have some “Self Love Time” as she called it. Lust.
She was a glutton not of food, but of weed and alcohol, never satisifed unless she was not sober at least once during her day. Gluttony.
She would spend entire days rotting in her bed, neglecting all responsibilities. Sloth.
Long story short, Adam was pretty certain that were (Name) to die, she had herself a one way ticket down to Hell. The thought bothered Adam, and he realized that it really was up to him to make sure she got into Heaven.
“You’re sinful,” Adam blurted out one day while (Name) was listening to CPR by cupcakKe. (Name) paused the music. “It’s the song, isn’t it.”
“No… well, yes, but not just the song. I’ve seen you commit every single fucking one of the 7 Sins just this week. How do you expect to get into Heaven like that?”
“I don’t,” (Name) shrugged, going to unpause her music.
“You don’t care about going to Hell?” Adam was flabbergasted.
“Not particularly.”
“Well I’m your guardian angel, sweetie, so it’s my job to help you get into Heaven.”
“Really? Cause I don’t even know how you made it into Heaven. Their standards must be pretty low, I have a chance.”
“Oh eat shit,” Adam snapped, narrowing his eyes.
(Name) smirked.
“Have you heard of the Seven Heavenly Virtues?” Adam asked. (Name) looked bored. “I’ve heard of them… don’t know what they are.” “Well you’re going to do something that encompasses each one this week.”
And Lucifer be damned, Adam managed to get her to do something for every virtue.
She apologized to her best friend and they began to repair their relationship. Humility.
She gave a bunch of clothes she didn’t need to her younger cousin. Charity.
She left positive comments on that girl’s social media page. Kindness.
She did breathing exercises the next time she got angry instead of destroying her surroundings. Patience.
She stopped her copious amount of weed and alcohol consumption. Temperance.
She stayed on top of her responsibilities and began taking her job more seriously. Diligence.
Adam was proud of both her, and himself for getting her to do these things. Maybe she had a chance to get into Heaven yet.
“Why is it so important to you that I get into Heaven?” (Name) asked one night at dinner. Adam paused eating. “Uh, cause it’s my job, bitch.” (Name) rolled her eyes. “Yeah but you didn’t start doing your job until recently. What changed?”
“Maybe I never want to have to say goodbye.”
(Name) hadn’t been expecting such a confession. “You want me to go to Heaven… to be with you?”
Adam scowled, embarrassed. “No.”
They fell into awkward silence.
“For what it’s worth,” (Name) said. “I wouldn’t mind spending eternity with you.”
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iamnotoriginalphil · 30 days
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Friends with Benefits (Melissa Schemmenti x f!Reader)
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Synopsis: Barbra finds out that you and Melissa have been getting up to some after hours activities
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: mentions of smut
AN: Just a little thing for @maybe-a-humanbean after 3x08. A nice 'what if' if you will.
You lent over to Melissa, standing in the dimly lit room full of cpr dummies. Pitching your voice low so it would not carry to the other people around you, you whispered in her ear.
“How about you practice on me, give me some mouth to mouth attention.”
She turned her eyes on you, lips pressed together to keep in a grin, eyes sparkling at you with unspoken mirth.
“Stop it,” she whispered back.
“I can certainly think of something that would block my airways,” you said.
“You’re pushing it,” she warned you.
“You’re worth the choking hazard,” you murmured.
She hit your shoulder but you could see the flush on her cheeks in the dim light, practically glowing at your words. You grinned at her, loving when you could fluster her. She turned away from you, doing her best to listen to the fire chief. Ignoring him, you brushed your fingertips along the back of her hand, before moving over to Jacob’s workstation.
“You’re not working with Melissa?” he asked.
“I figure Barbra needs some Mel time,” you replied with a small shrug, “I’ve taken up more than my fair share.”
“You have been spending a lot of time together,” the woman in question said, leaning around Melissa to speak to you.
“Too much, some might say,” Jacob muttered under his breath.
You shot him a look, trying to tell him to shut up. His eyes were averted and you were sure he hadn’t gotten the message.
“You went out for drinks on Friday night, you went to that cute little farmers market on Sunday, and didn’t you say you were going to try out that new restaurant down town together?” Barbra asked Melissa.
“Why bother when you can just finish my box of cereal in the morning?” Jacob said.
“I told you I was going to replace that,” you snapped at him, not needing to start that argument again.
“You ate breakfast with Melissa and Jacob this morning?” she asked you before Melissa could answer any of her previous questions.
“She was certainly eating something this morning,” Jacob muttered. Clearly he was still sulking.
“No need to be crass,” you admonished.
“Are you seeing each other?” Barb asked, still not having had any of her questions answered.
“No,” you said at the same time as she said, “of course not.”
“What do you mean of course not?” you asked her, “it’s not a crazy question to ask given the context.”
She scoffed.
“You don’t want to be tied down to an old woman like me,” she said.
“What?” Your voice was sharp.
“So you’re not seeing one another?” Barb asked.
“They’re hooking up,” Jacob said.
The gasp from Janine was not appreciated, both of you shooting her a look. She looked hurt, as if the two of you had betrayed her.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Barb asked, also sounding hurt.
“Because there’s nothing to tell,” Mel said, exasperated with the whole thing.
You sighed, staring down at the dummy on the table. The thought that Mel found the possibility of the two of you dating so unbelievable was surprisingly hurtful. And not in the way you were expecting. She thought she was the part of the equation letting the side down, not that she didn’t want you. It was her own insecurities, not about what she wanted.
The conversation stalled as Captain Robinson tried to continue with the course but you could feel the heat from your right. Janine had come and gone and you were doing your best to compress the chest beneath your hands. Jacob was purposefully avoiding making eye contact with Robinson’s helper and Mel was avoiding making eye contact with you.
“Are you seriously mad?” Mel asked Barbra the moment there was a break in proceedings to do so.
“Why would I be mad? It’s not as if my friends have been keep their courtship a secret from me,” Barb snapped.
“Courtship?” you asked.
“This ain’t Bridgerton. It’s casual,” Mel protested.
“Casual what? It’s not casual friends because she and I are casual friends and we don’t share breakfast,” she said.
“It’s not casual anything. It’s just sex. Friends with benefits,” Mel said.
You wanted to argue with that but you couldn’t. That was the arrangement. Nothing serious, just sex between two friends who found the other hot. Because she wasn’t interested in more.
Maybe.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Barb asked, finally turning on you.
“We didn’t think you’d understand,” you said, “I mean, come on, Barb, you’re quite… traditional. And this is… not.”
“I can understand new fangled dating. You talked to me about Gary,” she said, rounding back on Mel.
“Yes, because that was a real relationship you would approve of,” she replied.
“And we’re not dating,” you supplied.
You were beyond caring about the other people in the course. Janine was popping in and out with the kind of frantic energy you hadn’t missed around Abbott. Jacob was dealing with his own hookup drama. You just wanted to take Mel off somewhere and drown in her to forget the argument.
“Sorry for assuming you wouldn’t understand,” Mel said, but you could hear an undercurrent of sarcasm in her voice.
“Thank you.” You weren’t sure Barb had completely grasped the sarcasm.
The going on between Janine, Jacob, and the handsome EM came to the forefront of the moment. You ignored that, your fingertips gently tapping against the pulse point in Mel’s wrist. Familiar green eyes turned to you, eyebrow quirking in question. You nodded to a point in the room, slightly further away from the others.
“What?” she asked with an undertone of exasperation. You couldn’t tell if it was aimed at you or one of the others.
“Do you really think I think you’re too old for me?” you asked. It had really been playing on your mind since she’d said it.
“Hon, it’s okay. I know where we stand. You’re so much younger than me,” she said, giving you one of those looks that said you were being an idiot.
“So? Mel, you’re gorgeous, you’re fucking sexy, and you’re a wonderful person. I would be lucky to be in a relationship with you, younger or not,” you replied, “you’re not too old for someone like me. You’re wonderful just the way you are.”
“Hon,” she breathed but you could see the flush on her cheek and the smoulder in her eye.
You weren’t often given over to saying sentimental things to her. Nothing beyond what would be considered platonic, if verging into grossly flirtatious. You tucked some of her hair behind her ear, lingering on her jaw for a moment.
“Just thought you should know,” you said, keeping your voice quiet so it would remain between the two of you.
You left her to her thoughts, rejoining your friends. Barb looked over at you, and you sighed.
“I really am sorry we didn’t tell you. Your opinion matters to me so much I just didn’t want you to think badly about me,” you said.
“You’re an adult, you can make your own life choices. If you’re happy, then girl, I’m not going to tell you off like you’re one of my students. As long as you are happy,” she said.
“I am for now,” you replied, not willing to go into a lot of the minutiae of the situation.
“Then I’m happy for you,” she said.
Her arm curled around your shoulders in the comforting way you’d grown accustomed to. In your peripheral vision, you saw Mel sidle back up to the group on Barb’s other side. Her fiery hair shone in the warm light and you felt your breath catch.
“Are you coming to get a drink with us?” Barb asked you.
“Really?” you asked.
“Sure, hon. Wouldn’t be the same without you,” Mel said, glancing over at you.
You grinned at her, leaning into Barb’s embrace more. Yeah, you were happy enough with what you had, because what you had was pretty damn great.
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danny-chase · 1 year
Text
I feel like people understand that Dick changed while Jason was gone, but where it goes wrong half the time is people assume that Dick "growing up" meant that Dick was irresponsible around the time he and Jason interacted/was mean and unable to conceal his jealousy well, which he then evolved from due to Jason's death and was able to build a loving big brother relationship with Tim and Damian and fix his relationship with Bruce.
Meanwhile canon is like:
>Be me, Dick Grayson, esteemed and respected leader of the Teen Titans
> Your younger brother dies
> Fire the youngest member of the Titans because it happened because you had a crisis of responsibility about child vigilantism
> Get punched by your not-official dad
> Help mentor new younger brother because you can't stop him and Bruce from the path they're on, and like hell is another kid going to die
> Kid dies. Not that one. The ex-member of the Titans died disobeying your orders and saving the world in a heroic sacrifice you didn't want him to make, this is exactly what you tried to avoid
> So did two of your friends and one of their moms
> Failed marriage, and a whole lot of relationship stuff you don't want to talk about
> Dad didn't ask you to surpass him in the roll he trained you for since you were 8, gives it to a guy who goes of the rails and starts trying to kill ppl
> Dad asks you to take the roll because he literally has 0 other options and wants to take a vacation
> Bond with younger brother II more, will kill everyone in this room and yourself if anything happens to him
> Move to a new awful city that's often compared to hell
> Having nothing to lose makes it kind of nice here
> Younger brother II gets killed by the same guy who killed younger brother I
> Kill the guy
> Younger brother II wasn't actually dead
> Dad used CPR, so neither is the guy who killed them
> Angst over not being a good enough person not to kill your brother's murderer
> Things start to become okay again
> Best friend dies
> Get shot in the shoulder and fired from your job
> Childhood home gets burned down, 20+ people die
> Apartment building blows up, 22 of your friends and acquaintances die
> Find out it's because someone was specifically targeting you
> Person dies for talking to you
> Choose to step aside and let the guy targetting you die
> Run home because dad needs help
> Get shot in the leg, while passed out another kid hero dies
> Quit being a hero
> Join the mob
> Things start to get better
> Help dad out with some case about this guy named the Red Hood
> City gets nuked because you live there
> Get radiation burns and pass out while saving people, content that you died doing something good
> Dad saved you
> You're still alive :/
> Propose to your ex-girlfriend (not the one from the last marriage)
> Crisis event happens, take a laser beam meant for your father
> Coma for 3 weeks
> She says no (for good reasons)
> You're still alive :/
~and around here is where Dick finds out Jason's alive~
Anyways Dick was not more well adjusted by the time Jason came back from the dead, his life was a constant series of L's, and he got worse 😎
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
Text
Pity Party
Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 3.3k
Summary: 'I'm going to do it,' you thought triumphantly. 'I'm going to invite Malleus Draconia to the next Unbirthday Party as my date.' And naturally, the Universe in all its infinite omnipotence, went 'lol bet.'
A/N: A very fun commission for the lovely @toast-tales
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“Heartslaybul is having another one of their Unbirthday Parties this Friday,” you said, a bit stilted but enthusiastic nevertheless. “And I was thinking—well, it was just a thought! But! Maybe it’d be nice if we, y’know, went together?” You finished, looking up from beneath your lashes at the looming figure before you.
The Gargoyle, naturally, did not respond. A sound rejection if ever there was one.
But! That attempt had sounded really good, hadn’t it? Totally natural and everything! Not a single stutter, fainting episode, or bought of nervous vomiting to be seen!
“Okay,” you muttered, pacing back and forth as you diligently fought the urge to ring your hands. “Okay, okay, okay. I can do this. It’s just, like, two sentences—Three? Was that three?—Doesn’t matter! Focus! It’s not that hard!”
You circled and circled around the alcove. It was a familiar little corner, for all that you’d only ever seen it in the dark of the evening. This was where you’d meet up with Malleus for your nighttime rendezvous. Normally you didn’t bother popping by for at least another hour, but you needed all the practice you could get. And while, yes, the stone carvings overhead were hardly the best conversational partners, it was easier to practice your totally smooth pickup skills on their emotionless faces than, like, Grim. Or God forbid, Ace and Deuce. 
It was only Malleus, you reassured yourself yet again—your kindly, awkward, fey friend with the social awareness of a two-centuries-old potato. It was one thing to know, or at least assume, that he’d be sweet enough to take your offer in stride. It was another entirely to imagine the Briar Prince’s blank ass face saying something genuinely well-intentioned but harsh like ‘that doesn’t sound like a particularly riveting way to spend my afternoon,’ and immediately crushing your soul into itty bitty bite-sized pieces. It was an all too easy scene to picture, as you’d done at least a hundred times since your heart had set itself on its intentions.
You just—maybe just a bit more time. Yes. One more round of practice (perhaps two), and then you’d be ready. Like the Overblots, or whatever. Those hardly phased you at all anymore! It only took repetitive, mind rending, exposure therapy. That would do it. You just needed the teeniest bit more time to—
“Ah—Child of Man. I wasn’t expecting to see you here so earl—”
You jolted back with a truly heinous squawk and wheeled gracelessly into the stone pillar at your rear. You weren’t exactly a force of nature or anything, but the column hadn’t looked all that stable to begin with. So your frantic flailing took its toll, and the great, rock, beam creaked and fell. The Gargoyle perched atop it (the very one you’d been propositioning for the past half hour or so) crashed to the ground with an echoing BOOM and a cloud of debris fit to choke an elephant.
The poor thing lay in the dirt in pieces, its regal countenance split right down the middle. And Malleus Draconia, noted aficionado of all things carved from stone, looked two steps away from having an actual aneurism. So you hurriedly buried your invitation back in the depths of your brain and quickly went about carrying out the inanimate-object-equivalent of CPR.
“I think I have some super glue back in Ramshackle,” you offered. Even though you knew well enough that he could probably wave his hand and undo the entire thing. But it was the thought that counted, right?
“Supered Glue?” Malleus parroted, his neon eyes darting back and forth between you and the shattered gargoyle like you’d just offered him some mystical panacea. You nodded along and scuttled off in the direction of your dilapidated dorm.
‘Tomorrow,’ you promised yourself, as you rifled through your miscellaneous utilities drawer, tossing around rolls of tape and wads of too-thin elastic bands. ‘Tomorrow I’ll ask him.’
.
.
The next morning, you sat in Potion’s Class with the tacky remnants of last night’s nonsense dried along your fingertips. You sneezed and something ground unpleasantly behind your ear. You reached up to pluck a stray bit of gravel from your hair and flicked it aside.
Normally you tried to give Crewel’s lectures the entirety of your focus, primarily because you respected the man and wanted him to like you. And also, y’know, from the very rational standpoint of not wanting to lose your eyebrows or dignity when an incorrectly brewed potion exploded in your face. But today you were stuck in the clouds, replaying scenario after scenario and wondering what your next step in the whole ‘Ask The Crowned Prince of An Entire Nation Out to Lunch’ situation should be.
Your neck was itching again, and you scrubbed around mindlessly before pulling out another bit of gargoyle debris and tossing it. It bounced harmlessly off Jack’s shoulder.
“Did you get all that?” Your beastman friend asked, beginning the tedious process of organizing your group workstation for the day.
“Oh? Yes. Of course,” you nodded, not having heard a single word of what was going on. You grabbed your little instructions pamphlet for the day and made your way towards your own stool.
Jack turned and narrowed his yellow eyes at you in a way that clearly let you know that that superhuman schnoz of his had sniffed out your bullshit a mile away, but you generally had a better track record than the rest of the first years, so thankfully he let it slide.
Without further ado, you went about heating, and mixing, and tempering. And by the end, the pair of you had a lovely, silver, concoction that popped and fizzled like cola. Professor Crewel paused in his rounds of the rows to stare into your cauldron with an impassive sort of look that could have meant anything from ‘Content’ to ‘Outright Murder.’ Your eyes hastily flickered around the room, but everyone else’s potions looked liked Mercury Sprite too, so you couldn’t have been in too much trouble. You dipped the testing spoon into one of the bubbliest bits and brought it to your mouth to take a teeny sip. It tasted alright, and you smacked your lips as you tried to identify the flavor.
“Well?” The professor droned, crossing his arms over his chest in a fashion that looked entirely unimpressed. “How is it?”
You opened your mouth to reply and nothing came out but static. Literal static. Like you were some overloaded, old, plug—spitting sparks and whiny, high-pitched, nonsense that was most definitely an indication of some sort of fire risk.
Crewel hummed in that self-satisfied sort of way of his—the sort that was only mastered by those who were in the habit of being proven right during every, single, catastrophe.
“The Tickled Tongue recipe is fairly straightforward, you see,” he explained, stepping closer with a languid swishswish of his large overcoat. “It’s difficult to alter without any remarkable change or err. However,” he droned, “it is incredibly similar to the Stone Tongued Elixir. Do you know what the one, unique, ingredient in that brew is in comparison to our assigned project today, Prefect?”
You sighed fuzz.
“Stone,” he said, reaching out to pluck another bit of gravel from your hair.
Crewel brushed his hands against his vest and you debated if it’d be worth it to try jumping out of the window and escape while you still had at least some face.
“I’ve been kind enough to look the other way when you break curfew so that you may continue your… nightly excursions with a certain upperclassman,” he droned, and that open window was looking even more tempting. “But please at least give me the courtesy of cleaning up the evidence before attending my class in the mornings, yes?”
“Yes, sir,” you tried to say, but it just sounded like a busted landline.
.
.
“Hello, Child of Man,” Malleus beamed, his lips curling pleasantly at the corners. His usual trio were flanking his hind, all watching with varying degrees of interest that ranged from sharp curiosity (Lilia) to outright hostility (Sebek).  “Would you care to accompany me for lunch?”
You opened your mouth and all that came out was the fucking AOL dial tone.
Lilia doubled over laughing and Malleus tilted his head at you like a dog listening to a whistle tone.
“Pardon?” He blinked.
“BZZZZZZ,” you said, miserable, and Lilia just laughed harder.
.
.
‘Two days left,’ you reminded yourself miserably. You had just under forty-eight wretched hours to not only complete your initial Date Objective, but also somehow do that whole thing while making up for the ego-crushing failures of your first two failures.  
There was a Spelldrive match after classes today—another attempt for Leona to try and get one up on Malleus’s ‘Hall of Fame Worthy’ record before the pair of them aged out of the competition. And maybe that would be perfect! That was always sort of a Thing in teen movies, right? The big, heart wrenching, confession delivered on the field of whatever sport was in season. The fated couple lit all prettily beneath the glaring overhead lights and artfully drenched in a very timely shower of rain. This whole situation was practically writing itself.
So you tucked yourself into a warm, cozy, sweater fit for the breezy day and inevitable aesthetic downpour, and went to sit out in the stands. Which was your first mistake, because the match was being held on Savanaclaw’s practice field. So immediately you could feel sweat pooling along your lower back and along your brow as the magical, overhead, sunshine did its best to seer the flesh right off your bones. Malleus moved to step out onto the field and you went to wave at him enthusiastically, only to catch sight of the giant pit stains steeped into your stupid sweater. The dark spots opened up like the gaping maw on a beast, determined to derive its entire sustenance from your embarrassment alone. You clamped your arms back down to your sides and immediately began questioning the universe at large. Were you a murderer in a past life? Someone who scammed old ladies out of their pensions? What other reason could there be for the entire fucking cosmos to just perpetually go ‘hey, how about we make things worse.’
The game was probably going well or something, but you were swimming in so much swampy body heat at this point that you were starting to get dizzy.
With a sigh, you pulled the cute, wool, deathtrap over your head and tossed it aside—ruffling your sweat sticky hair for good measure to try and get some airflow going. It wasn’t the most dignified look or whatever, sitting there in only the thin cotton undershirt of your uniform and half drowned in your own secretions, but at least you weren’t in imminent danger of dying of heat stroke anymore. You leaned back on your elbows with another much more contented sigh and gave yourself a moment to let the last of that hot nausea settle.
“Oi! You horned bastard! Watch where you’re—”
There was a swirl of spitting green sparks and you looked back out onto the field just in time to get absolutely decimated by a Spelldrive disc to the face.
.
.
“He really didn’t mean it,” Lilia said, but he was laughing so hard into his fist that it was hard to make out anything beyond merry gurgling. “In fact, he’s really very upset about the whole thing.”
You stared blankly at the off-white walls of the infirmary, wondering how it was possible for one person’s luck to be this bad.
“Where is he?” you asked. Your tongue felt thick and sluggish.
“I don’t think he would appreciate me saying that he was off hiding—pouting, even,” the fey tutted, floating up to sit cross-legged at your eyelevel. “But I don’t believe there’s a much more accurate way of putting it.”
“Why would he be hiding?” you trudged forward again, mouth still entirely uncooperative. “I wanted to ask him something,” you admitted, chronically dejected and acutely brain damaged.
“Did you now?” Lilia grinned, something mischievous and far too knowing lighting his wine-red eyes.
You nodded. You could feel the tug of the bandages around your forehead.
“Well, I’ll ask that you be patient with him,” he sighed fondly, reaching out to pat your cheek. “For all his years, our Prince is still a bit stunted.”
“Oh, please! He’s six and a half feet tall!” you complained.
Lilia laughed again, doubling over in the air and doing a full roll about—like a pill bug.
“Oh, dear,” he snickered, wiping a tear from his eye as he straightened back out to lounge upside down by one of the rafters. “You do deserve each other.”
.
.
This was it. The final countdown. Friday.
The Unbirthday Party was this afternoon, and with God and the Heavens as your witness, you would be dragging Malleus Draconia there with you if it was the last thing you did.
‘The hardest part is supposed to be the rejection,’ you thought bitterly. ‘Not that crap leading up to it. This is bullshit. I want a refund.’
But no, if the Universe was going to be so cruel to you, then you were just going to have to be needlessly paranoid and prepared in advance. You set aside two spare sets of clothing and an umbrella. You packed an entire feast’s worth of provisions in case a fucking hole decided to open up in the ground or something and trap you in a cave for a week. You scribbled a little ‘Would you please go with me to the Unbirthday Party today’ on not one, or two, but three separate notes. Each in a different pocket. And laminated. And, perhaps most daring of all, you walked up to Ace and Deuce that morning with a stiff upper lip and an even stiffer spine.
“I’m going to ask Tsunotarou to come to the Unbirthday Party today,” you told them, fighting the urge to twist your hands into your jacket sleeves.
“What?” Ace choked, just as Deuce stepped in to clobber him over the back of the head and tell you very sweetly that he was sure that the House Warden would appreciate that very much.
“You must like him a lot,” your blue haired friend said, polite but clearly also at least a little unnerved.
“Yeah,” you sighed miserably, thinking of each and every horrible failure as the world at large fought your stupid affections at every turn. “I guess I do.”
So you went about your day like a soldier trudging through a warzone—always at the ready for something unknowable to fuck you over yet again. You looked twice around every corner, always let someone else walk through a doorway first, immediately spritzed Azul in the face with a spray bottle when he tried to start a conversation. It wasn’t paranoia when you knew the universe was out to get you.
The school day was coming to an end and so far you’d managed to avoid any catastrophes. When you caught sight Malleus off in the distance, you had to fight down the sudden swell of dueling panic and hope that blocked off your throat. You made eye contact with the fey prince from across the near empty corridor and he seemed to straighten. You took a deep breath and took one step forward, then another.
“Tsunotarou!” you called cheerfully. “I was wondering if you—”
“FIRE!” Crowley wailed, careening around the corner with all the urgency of someone who very much genuinely cared about the safety of their school and all its inhabitants. Which was outright ridiculous. His glowing, golden, eyes locked on you like you’d been the target of this caterwauling all along, and you wanted to scream. “Ah! My most darling and favorite of Prefects! You have to help! There’s a fire in—”
“No,” you snarled, like some great monster of old. And you watched the Headmaster pale beneath his bird mask. You reached out to pat his shoulder with a pleasantly threatening thump. thump. thump. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to sort it out on your own, sir. Have a lovely afternoon!”
And before you could chicken out, or something else could happen—like a tornado ripping the entire school up at its base and flinging you into Oz—you rushed forward and latched onto Malleus’s sleeve with a wide, panicked, sort of look in your eyes. Hisown eyes went round and wide, but he didn’t pull away, so step one complete.
“Please come to Heartslaybul’s Unbirthday Party with me!” You entreated. “As my date! With me! Together!” you word vomited, clutching at his sleeve even tighter.
“Oh,” Malleus breathed—those sharp, reptilian, pupils of his jumping into something soft and huge that swallowed the green of his irises in a sea of black. A pale, rose, pink crept along the tips of his pointed ears and you could feel your own cheeks blazing like a bonfire.
“Yup,” you nodded lamely, realizing you were still clutching his hand like a starving leper.
“Lilia had mentioned that you might…” he trailed off, gaze sliding to your fingers tangled beside his. “I hadn’t thought that—well…” He cleared his throat and stood to his full height with a puff that almost looked prideful. “Nevertheless,” he grinned, almost shy, and offered you his arm. “Shall we?”
You were going to die. Keel over. That would be the cosmos’s final strike against you. But though your heart beat like a rapid drum in your chest, you didn’t actually collapse in cardiac arrest. Your blood felt warm, but not with fever. It was… You’d actually done it!
You fought the urge to squeal and instead ducked excitedly against Malleus’s side with a secret little fist bump. His arm wound snuggly through yours and you were still too high on the thrill of victory to even consider being embarrassed about it.
“It may surprise you to know,” he said as you walked together towards the Queen of Heart’s Dormitory. “That I actually was attempting to ask something similar of you for this past week as well.”
“Really?” you gaped.
He nodded. “But it seemed as though fate itself was conspiring against me. The first evening went poorly, and then the next day you’d been cursed into silence. And you even ended up injured during one of my attempts.”
“The Spelldrive disc?” you blinked.
“Unfortunately,” Malleus sighed, leading you towards the familiar rose gardens. Which were lovely as always, and perfectly well painted for the afternoon’s festivities, and—
And… also on fire.
“Well what do you know…” you mumbled as you watched a furious Riddle chase a screeching Ace through the flaming fields. Trey had his head in his hands. Cater was filming the whole thing with an artful smear of ash drawn across his cheek.
Malleus made a low rumble of discontentment and you immediately swung the pair of you around to start heading back towards the Mirror Chamber.
“Not to worry!” you beamed, pointedly jostling the full picnic lunch in your bag. Sure, it hadn’t ended up being a gaping hole that had dragged you straight into the bowels of the abyss, but hey. Hellfire was hellfire. “I came prepared.”
“So did I,” Malleus smirked, the points of his canines peaking out of his lower lip. He twisted his fingers and the pair of you were surrounded in puffs of floating, sparkling, green lights.
And despite the Universe technically, yet again, having come out on top and flipped you and your date the proverbial middle finger, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be too upset at all.
.
.
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janeyseymour · 1 month
Text
Just Sex
Summary: Melissa is hooking up with the chief at the firehouse, so you decide that you can have your own fun.
WC: ~2.1k
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After the failed relationship and proposal with Gary, Melissa has been going out to bars and staying out late at night. She finds herself in bed with quite a few men and women, and while she’s not thrilled that she’s back to this lifestyle, she’s impressed that she still has what it takes. Getting older did not make it any easier to attract people.
But then one night she sees the fire chief out at the bar, one thing leads to the other, and they’re in a friends with benefits sort of situationship.
Of course, all of this comes out when you’re renewing your CPR training certificate with the Abbott clan, and Barbara has made it quite clear that she’s upset Melissa didn’t tell her of this relationship before.
You had been busy trying to pass your test, but now it’s your partner’s turn to go, and you tune back into the world around you.
“But if I were gonna label it, I would say it’s just sex,” you hear Melissa tell her work wife in a low voice.
You don’t really know what she’s talking about, but you shrug it off. That is, until Janine comes back into the room and asks for the gossip. Barbara of course goes off, claiming that her friend of over fifteen years trusts her no more than a common street stranger. It becomes apparent to you that whatever hookup situation they’re talking about has been going on for a bit of time now. You feel a nasty pit settle in your stomach at that.
That pit only grows when you go out with the crew after the CPR course to celebrate the fact that you all passed. Of course, conversation leads back to Melissa and Jacob both having sexual relations with people from the firehouse.
“Well, I think I blew that one,” Jacob groans as he finishes off his aperol spritz. “But let’s talk about you, Mel Mel.”
“There ain’t nothin’ to talk about,” the redhead waves him off. “It’s just casual sex.”
“Casual sex that’s been going on for how long?” Barbara asks with a raised brow.
Melissa purses her lips as she thinks. “Couple weeks now?”
“A month,” Jacob cuts in. “C’mon, Melissa. When are you just going to admit that you like him?”
“I do not,” she states very clearly. “I just need something to take the edge off for me, and… he does that.”
“How kinky is it?” Ava asks, a smirk on her face.
Jacob opens his mouth, and Melissa very quickly shoves her hand over his mouth. “You say a word, and you’re out on the curb faster than you were out with Zach.”
The man’s eyes widen, and he nods quickly. She pulls her hand away from his mouth, and he breathes a deep sigh in relief. 
“I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” the second grade teacher says as she finishes off her beer.
Barb turns to look at her work wife with a curious face. She knows of the little crush that her best friend has on you. Melissa just nods at the kindergarten teacher’s silent question.
But you don’t take it that way, because you have no idea that Melissa has had her eye on you since before she broke it off with Gary. You see it that you have no chance with your favorite coworker at all.
Feeling as though you could burst into tears at any given moment, you quietly excuse yourself from the rest of the outing and head for your apartment.
“What was that?” Melissa furrows a brow and purses her lips as she gazes in the direction that you left.
“I’m sure it was just a long day for her is all,” Janine tries to come up with some sort of logistical reason as to why you would leave early. “I did have a meeting with her before school even started today, so she’s been up for quite some time.”
Everybody seems to accept that reasoning, and they continue on with their night.
The next day, you march yourself into Ava’s office bright and early.
“Girl, what are you doin? I’m tryna get this knot out of my back,” your principal groans as she shuts off her personal back massager.
“I need your help,” you tell her, not even bothering to acknowledge that she isn’t doing her job at all.
“With?” She leans forward just slightly in her chair.
You smile at her. “I know you know a bunch of people… set me up with someone?”
“Oh, girl,” she laughs. “What’s gotten into you? Every other time I’ve asked if you want someone, you decline!”
“Just… thinking I should get myself out there,” you shrug. “You know? If Melissa can do it, so can I.”
Ava’s jaw drops. “So this is about Melissa.”
“What?”
“I knew you had the hots for her!” the principal grins. 
“What? Not! I- I just figured, if everyone else can have at it, so can I?”
“Oh, girl,” she laughs in your face. “This ain’t you at all, but I am in full support of it. Give me til the end of the day, and I’ll have someone for you.”
You end up going out with a woman that night that Ava set you with, and you do end up actually liking her… and she’s pretty damn good in bed.
The next morning, you’re practically glowing while you drink your morning coffee in the break room. Julie, the woman that you ended up in bed with last night, is texting you about maybe meeting up again later this week.
And if you weren’t still in love with the redhead that comes in a few seconds later, you would say yes. Instead, you send her a text that says, Maybe. Kinda busy the next couple weeks.
She texts you back a picture… a rather scandalous picture. And you blush when you see it.
“What’s got you all giddy today?” the redhead asks as she leans over. She sees the picture before you can close out of it, and her eyebrows creep up her head.
“Who’s that?”
You shrug. “Just someone Ava set me up with.”
“Ava?” Melissa asks in disbelief. “How long have you been seeing her?”
“Not long,” you tell her. “It’s just sex, really.”
The redhead folds her arms over her chest. “I didn’t think you were like that.”
“I’m not, but I figured I might as well give it a shot,” you say. “Now, I have to head to my room to finish up some of my grading, but I’ll see you later.”
You don’t have any intention to see her later. And you don’t. You pull back from her and her group- although most of them still find their ways to you. It’s mostly just the redheaded second grade teacher that you avoid. And it happens that way for a few more days.
You’re in the break room heating up your lunch when Ava comes in. “Girl! Are you gonna text Julie back or not?”
Melissa makes her way in, and you sigh. “It’s just sex. I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along,” you unintentionally repeat what the second grade teacher had said out at the bar. The microwave indicates that your food is finished, and you pull it out before heading back down to your classroom for lunch.
You miss the scowl on Melissa’s face, but Ava sure as hell doesn’t.
“Girl, you jealous or something?” the principal leans in with a smirk.
“What would I be jealous of?”
“That someone else is hitting that hot piece of ass,” Ava says like it’s obvious. The second grade teacher rolls her eyes, but Ava continues. “I see the way you look at her. Practically undressing her with your eyes every time she walks into the room.”
Melissa crosses her arms again. “I can’t believe you set her up with someone if you knew I like her.”
“I was hoping it would give you a swift kick in the ass that she was gonna start hoeing it up,” Ava shrugs. “Now admit that you’re jealous before everyone else comes in here.”
“Okay, I’m jealous,” the redhead relents. “But it don’t matter anyway. She isn’t lookin’ for anyone- she just said that.”
“She said, and I quote, ‘I’m not looking for a relationship or nothing… not unless the right person comes along. And girl, you’re that person for her!”
Everyone else starts filing in, and Ava makes it so that she looks impossibly bored, although she is actually quite the opposite. “Okay, I’m leaving this snooze fest.” She heads out, but not before giving Melissa a subtle wink and tap on the wrist. “Get it, girl.”
That day, Melissa sits thoughtfully during her lunch period about what Ava said… maybe she’s right? But she can’t be sure, so after dismissal duty, the fiery second grade teacher heads down to the front office and bursts into the principal’s office.
“Schemmenti,” Ava grins. “You do it yet?”
“I ain’t doin’ nothin’ until I’m positive Y/N has a thing for me too,” Melissa sits down across from the woman. “So tell me what you know.”
Ava spends a long time telling the redhead about the various times she’s caught you checking Melissa and only Melissa out, how you always seem to linger around her during events, how the two of you are almost always partners for things now and how you being around always makes her soft and you absolutely bask in her warmth. She even confesses that you went down to her office to ask her to set you up because of Melissa.
“You convinced yet?” the principal asks after ten minutes.
Melissa bites her lip. “Yeah. Okay.”
“I’d make a move quick though. She said something about potentially seeing Julie today.”
“Isn’t that going to piss off your friend that Y/N might leave her for me?”
“She ain’t my friend,” Ava says as she files her nails. “I made a dating profile for Y/N and picked the first mildly attractive woman I saw.”
“You’re unbelievable sometimes,” the redhead pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Maybe, but ain’t you gonna go get your girl?”
Melissa stands from her chair and thanks the principal before rushing out and down your hallway. She hopes to catch you before you head out for the night. And of course, because you’re a dedicated teacher, you’re still there prepping for tomorrow. She knocks on your doorframe and leans against it.
“Just a sec!” you reply cheerily, not turning around yet. You’re hands deep in soil for the gardening project that your students will be participating in tomorrow.
“I don’t got a second,” Melissa says. You whip around at her voice.
“Hey,” you sigh, all joy in your voice gone.
“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” the redhead tells you.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I want you to go out with me instead,” she tells you seriously.
“You’re dating the fire chief,” you deadpan.
“I ain’t dating nobody because the only person I want to date is you,” the redhead admits.
That gets you to drop the dirt that is currently in your hands. “What?”
“I told everyone I was just having casual sex and wasn’t looking for a relationship unless the right person came around because… because the only person I would want to be in a relationship is you, and I didn’t think I had a chance.”
“Melissa, are you an idiot?” You ask her. “I’ve shamelessly flirted with you since you broke it off with Gary and practically thrown myself at you in hopes that you would pick me instead of some random hookup.”
She crosses the room, and she’s kissing you before you even know what’s happening. You instinctively kiss her back, and… wow. When you pull away, you quickly wipe the dirt off of your hands before pulling her in close again.
“Don’t go out with Julie tonight,” she pleads again.
“Don’t go out with the fire chief anymore,” you mumble against her lips.
She nods and mutters, “I already called it off. You cancel on Julie, and meet me at my place?”
You end up at Melissa’s house within the hour, and she wines and dines you. And then you end up in her bed seeing stars. Your legs tremble for what feels like forever before she makes her way back up to you.
“And just so you know,” she husks into your ear. “There ain’t nothin’ casual about this. This ain’t just sex.”
Tags: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22
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t-lostinworlds · 5 months
Text
Competitively Stupid | Steve Harrington
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》 PAIRING: steve harrington x female!reader
》 TROPE/GENRE: rivals-ish (since childhood) to lovers, some angst; fluff
》 SUMMARY: It was stupid, jumping off a cliff just to prove that you were better than Steve fucking Harrington. But you were competitive. You were not losing to him. But you know what was stupider? For it to take a near-death situation for you both to confess what you truly feel for each other.
》 WARNINGS: canon divergent (everyone is alive & well & happy thanks), pet names (sweetheart, baby), shitty parents (on both sides), competitiveness on all accounts, r is basically a counterpart of steve during high school (cheerleading captain, queen of hawkins high, swim team captain, etc.), peer pressure-ish, some stupid decisions & stupider actions, very irresponsible cliff jumping (which doesn't end well), drowning, CPR, injuries, an emotional moment™, love confessions, and a happy, sappy ending.
》 WORD COUNT: 5.3k+
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A/N: hi! okay, well, it's been a while since i posted a steve fic so i'm kinda nervous ngl. also, not me making it a habit to include swimmer!steve in all my fics from here on out. this was meant to be short & sweet to dust off the cobwebs but lol. super random. i saw a video of someone cliff-jumping & boom, the idea was born. also, not me using the first aid training i learned in college.
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📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ STEVE H. MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
This was stupid.
Absolutely idiotic.
You genuinely have no idea why you were even doing this in the first place.
"There's no way you can do it."
Right.
That's why.
The taunting voice of Steve fucking Harrington was the reason why you were standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down at a thirty-foot drop into the dark ocean.
This was supposed to be a relaxing trip with your new found family.
"You know you don't have to listen to him, right?" Robin sighed, so completely over the fact that her two best friends who never got along no matter what she tried, somehow came to an agreement to not listen to her right now.
Not that you could blame her.
You and Steve had been rivals ever since you were kids.
It was what you had always known.
What with narcissistic parents who used their children as pawns to one up each other, you had been conditioned to see him as an enemy from the second you step foot into their home.
Your family was invited into the Harrington residence for dinner as a way of welcoming you to the neighborhood. You recently just moved in, so you didn't know anyone else yet. When you heard that the next-door neighbor had a son who was your age, you had been really excited to gain a new friend.
All that changed when your dad sat you down an hour before, prepping you about how the Harringtons were a respected family in the town, and that you needed to show them you weren't any less than them, if not show them you were better. He drilled it in your brain to be on your best behavior, to be the best and the perfect daughter.
It only got worse when you finally sat down at that dinner table.
The comparisons were endless.
"See, my daughter here is a wonderful gymnast, quite amazing for someone her age."
"How wonderful. Steven here has swimming lessons every weekend. His coach said he might end up in the Olympic team once he's of age."
"Splendid. How about his academics? I'm sure he can take inspiration from my daughter's exemplary grades."
"He's the top of his class. Maybe if they study together, your daughter would be able to catch up in time."
It was harsh, pitting two seven-year-olds against each other—impressionable kids who only wanted to make their mom and dad proud.
But neither your parents nor his truly gave a shit. All they cared about was becoming the best family in the street, if not the whole town.
The sad thing was, those dinners became a regular thing, held alternately between your house and his.
It always looked like a preparation for battle whenever your mom would pull out the finest china in her collection along with the cookbook she only ever used for special occasions.
It was in the guise of cordiality when it was, in fact, an excuse to show off, to make a competition out of everything, a moment to compare who did what best. Those dinners were like monthly scoreboards, tallying up the respective families' recent achievements—and that included yours and Steve's.
Nobody was surprised that the competitiveness stuck with you both.
And it only got worse during high school.
Whether that was something as mundane as winning the popularity contest when running different circles—even going as far as getting crowned the King and Queen of Hawkins High—down to academics and extracurriculars.
Captain of the basketball team. Captain of the cheerleading squad. Prom Queen. Prom King. MVP of the season. Brightest student of the year. Beer pong Queen. Kegstand King. Best summer camp counselor. Lifeguard of the month and it went on and on and on and on.
When he got co-captain for the men's swim team, you rubbed it in his face that you were the captain of the women's team. When you got second place at the science fair, he made sure to rub his first place medal right in your face. When you became president of the student council, you ordered him around to do extra work whenever the basketball team was required to help with community service.
It was a constant back and forth.
There was always a competition between you and Steve Harrington.
And sure, since you graduated, it became subdued. But it was still very much there. Vying on who was the coolest babysitter in your band of ragtags, even fighting to have the title of Robin Buckley's ultimate best friend.
This thing between you and Steve was deeply rooted. So there really wasn't much Robin could do apart from getting in between your frequent squabbles before you started actually killing each other.
In Robin's words, something drastic had to happen for you both to finally wake up and see that this rivalry between you both wasn't what it seemed to be on the surface.
You had no idea what she was even implying.
Now, on a little getaway on the nearest beach you could drive to, the competition started with a race on who could get there first. It wasn't even fair seeing that you weren't the one driving.
The group had split into two, some were in Eddie's van—along with everyone's belongings since he had ample space in the back—while the others were in Steve's Beemer. Since you and Steve couldn't be in the same room together without an argument ensuing, it was a unanimous decision to have you two separated. Nobody wanted to deal with that for hours on the road.
Not that you could blame them, either.
And sure, it was the kids who suggested the race, but with Steve's smug smirk and that arrogant wink he threw once you got into Eddie's passenger seat, you knew it was game on between you too.
Yet despite the metal head being a fast—albeit slightly reckless—driver, he somehow took his sweet goddamn time getting to your destination.
Only when your group arrived at the beach last, did he say something about Steve threatening him to be extra careful with driving because there's important cargo in his van—whatever the hell that meant.
You lost to Steve on that one, but you would argue it was rigged from the start.
The next was a supposed friendly bout on who could build the biggest sandcastle that didn't topple over after a few minutes.
It was boys versus girls with you and him being team leaders. The girls won, obviously and El never used her powers. It was fair and square since the other team mostly argued over everything they could think of and had no teamwork at all. You made sure to point that out to Steve as you watched their sandcastle crumble into ruins.
Another one was beach volleyball. Same leaders as before, but you get to pick the members of your teams this time. Steve made it his mission to pick the tallest of the bunch. Still, it wasn't the advantage he thought it was because it ended up being one point too close.
Your team would've won if Steve wasn't such a dramatic asshole.
It was truly an accident. When you spiked that ball, you were not aiming for his face. He simply thought it was a good idea to catch the ball with it. Besides, he was distracted, flirting with some random girl in a bikini who was passing by, right in the middle of the game.
How was it your fault that he wasn't paying attention?
He made sure to oversell his injury after that, curled up on the sand as the girl fussed over him. But you saw that smirk on his face. You would've hit him again—definitely not by accident this time—if you weren't busy arguing with Robin about the point deduction. She said it was only fair since you hit the ball when she hadn't blown her imaginary whistle yet.
You decided to let it go when Steve commented on you being a whiny sore loser.
Unfortunately, the competition was ending with who could make jumping off a cliff and into the ocean look the coolest—adults only, despite the groans of protest from the mischievous bunch.
Eddie offered to stay behind and watch the rascals. When teased, he simply said he didn't want to test Death today.
His comment didn't help your nerves.
Robin said she was only coming purely as a voice of reason. She'd been saying nonstop how it was a horribly stupid idea, that there really was no need to be doing this in the first place.
But Steve wasn't backing down, so you weren't going to either.
So once again, it was only you and him.
As it always had been.
He volunteered to go first, throwing in a comment about rushing back up the cliff's edge before you could take your turn because he wanted a front-row seat for when you'd chicken out.
It only made you want to do it more.
His dive was smooth, almost flawless, you admit. He even showed off with a little flip near the end. It didn't take long for him to swim back to the shore, either. His years of training as a swimmer were obviously paying off.
But you trained just as much if not more than he had.
The only difference was, adrenaline didn't fuel you as much as it did Steve. So instead of getting all powered up looking down at a cliff's edge like he was, you were terrified.
But who wouldn’t get scared looking down at harsh waves crashing against sharp and jagged rocks? There was no margin for error here because one wrong slip and you'd be dead.
Still, if Steve could do it, you could do it better.
You weren't about to lose to his stupid ass.
"I'm not listening to him," you argued back, taking in a shaky breath as you took a step.
"He's doing reverse psychology!" she squeaked. "So you doing it is still listening to him!"
"I'm fine, Robs, I can do it," you mumbled, a slight questioning lilt at the end of your sentence.
"Look, sweetheart, it's okay to admit defeat," Steve said, cocky voice with an even cockier smile as he crossed his toned arms against his bare chest. His hair was still damp, quick to climb back up so he could get his front-row seat as he promised.
But you weren't chickening out.
Never.
"I mean, it wouldn't be the first time you lost to me so, it shouldn't sting as much."
You ignored him.
Instead, you took another step, the tips of your toes now hanging over the edge.
You can do this. Wipe that smug smirk off his face. You got this.
"Listen, you don't have to do—"
"Shut it, Harrington," you growled.
With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, counting from three, two, one…
You jumped.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-
This was stupid.
Absolutely idiotic.
He shouldn't have pressured you like that.
The jump wasn't deadly, per se, but it also wasn't exactly deemed the safest, especially if you weren't an expert in any sort of way.
And he didn't want to say it out loud because if he did, he knew it would only push you to do it more just to prove him wrong.
But Steve could see how scared you were.
He was already dropping the act, voice laced with concern as he started telling you that he wasn't worth all of this, that he was stupid and that you were always going to be better than him.
But, obviously, you didn't listen.
You simply jumped.
You and your stupidly competitive ass.
"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, rushing to the edge of the cliff, tensely watching your falling figure disappear into the water with a splash.
"You two are complete idiots."
"Shut up," Steve gritted, never looking away from the water. Yet any annoyance was quickly overpowered by sheer worry as he scanned the deep blue for anything.
There was no sign of you.
"Like seriously! It's like I'm the only one with a brain cell here!"
"Come on, come on, come on," Steve mumbled, completely ignoring Robin when you still hadn't emerged to the surface. "Come on, Y/N, don't scare me like this."
"Uh, Steve?" Robin asked after a moment, carefully looking over the cliff before shooting him a worried glance. "You look anxious and you being anxious is making me nervous."
"She hasn't come up," he grumbled, glancing at his watch.
It was nearing a minute.
"Maybe you didn't see her?"
"I haven't taken my eyes off the water, Buckley," he gritted, too harsh and uncalled for since Robin didn't do anything wrong.
But he was panicking.
A minute and thirty seconds.
"Come on, sweetheart, you can do it. You're an amazing swimmer," he whispered encouragingly, hoping some sort of magic would let you hear him underwater all while saying it aloud for his own sanity.
Two minutes.
You could never hold your breath any longer than that.
Steve knew because he always won that competition.
And that was in a calm pool.
"Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed, gearing up to dive after you. "I don't think she's coming up!"
"Okay! Okay," Robin rushed, panicking. "Maybe she's already on the shore. We should go down now and see—"
Steve didn't listen.
He jumped right after you.
The biting cold was awakening.
Still, it was the absolute fear of losing you that was keeping him alert.
He ignored the sting of the salty ocean water in his eyes as he frantically searched for you, his heart beating hard and fast, struggling for oxygen all while fearing for your safety.
Steve didn't know which came first, relief or dread when finally found you, aimlessly floating and unconscious under the deep blue.
He swam to you as fast he could, securely hooking his arm under your shoulder and dragging you up to the surface.
Steve always knew that adrenaline can give you a random boost of strength when needed. He simply didn't expect that to be proven true when he was carrying your unresponsive body in his arms as he brought you to the shore.
He gently placed you on your back on the sand, cupping your face as he checked for any injuries.
You were so cold.
"Hey, hey, wake up," he begged, grabbing your shoulders to try and shake you awake.
Nothing.
"You didn't have to make the jump, you idiot. Why do you always want to prove me wrong," he scolded with no ounce of anger, only worry. He started tapping your cheek frantically. "Come on, wake up!"
Still no response.
"Dammit, Y/N, why'd you have to be so fucking stubborn," he scolded, his voice shaking in fear, his chest tightening as he pressed two fingers against your pulse point.
His own heart stopped when he couldn't feel yours.
And you weren't breathing.
Steve tried to keep himself calm. If he panicked now, he wouldn't be able to give you the aid that you direly need.
"Come on, Harrington. You know what to do. You trained for this," he mumbled to himself, getting into the proper position to give you CPR.
He gently cupped your forehead with his left hand, his other two fingers under your chin as he tilted your head up.
"You're going to be okay," he whispered, pinching your nose before slotting his lips against yours.
Breathing into your mouth, one, two, he watched your chest rise as it filled up with air, only for it to settle back down without coming back up again. He quickly kneeled straighter, locking his fingers together and placing the heel of his left hand in the middle of your chest, pushing down with enough pressure to try and get your heart to start again.
"One, two, three, four, come on, sweetheart, breathe for me," he mumbled, easily finding the right rhythm, his first aid training as a lifeguard coming back to him like it was second nature.
Still, he never wanted to use this skill in a real-life situation, much less use it on you.
It was the longest thirty counts in his life.
Check for a pulse. Check for breathing.
Still nothing.
"Goddammit, Y/N, come on!" he growled, blinking back the tears as he pressed his mouth against yours again.
Two rescue breaths.
Thirty chest compressions.
Steve repeated the cycle over and over. His eyes were stinging with unshed tears, his knees were burning as the rough sand dug deeper into his skin, and his arms were starting to get sore, tiredness slowly covering his aching muscles.
But he'd rather die first than give up on you now.
"Steve—"
"Call for help, Robin!" he ordered, not taking his eyes off you for even a second. When he didn't hear any movement, he yelled, "Don't just stand there! Go!"
He was going to apologize for being an asshole later. For now, he needed you to fucking breathe.
"Come on, come on, please," he begged, leaning back down to give you two more rescue breaths. "Breathe for me, baby, please."
Thirty chest compressions.
"Trying to prove me wrong when I've always been wrong, you idiot."
Five, six, seven—
"Sweetheart, come on," he choked back a sob. "Who's going to call me out when I'm being stupid, huh? You know Robin can't do it alone."
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen—
"And you're really going to leave me alone to watch our kids?"
Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two—
"Y/N, baby, please, I can't live without you," he whimpered.
Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thir—
Steve felt his breath leave his lungs when you finally gasped for air.
He quickly turned you to your side, rubbing your back as you choked out all the ocean water that got into your system.
"There you go, you're okay," he whispered, whether to reassure you or himself, he didn't even know anymore. All he was focused on was making sure you were going to be okay.
"S-Stevie?" you coughed out the nickname that was only ever used by you.
It was the equivalent to his nickname for you—sweetheart.
Names that started out to annoy each other but the more often it was used as time passed, it only managed to grow into an endearment that held something warm underneath it. You both were quick to realize that the nicknames you had for each other weren't out of spite anymore.
Neither of you simply addressed it.
"Steady, sweetheart, I'm right here," he reassured, hurriedly getting into your line of sight to stop you from trying to turn around to face him. He gently cupped your cheek, offering you a soft smile when your gaze found him. "I'm not going anywhere."
You nodded as best as you could, your eyes clinging onto his brown ones only for them to screw shut when a shiver ran through your whole body.
"C-Cold," you stammered.
"I know, I know, come here," he said softly, guiding you to sit up before quickly settling behind you. He gently pulled you closer between his legs, his chest pressed against your back as he blanketed his body over yours, rubbing your arms to keep you as warm as possible.
You turned to face him slightly, burying your face into his neck only for you to wince at the slight movement. He quickly tried to steady you again, checking over you twice to look for any visible injury. But he couldn't find any.
"Tell me what hurts," he asked, pressing his lips against your cold forehead as he fully wrapped his arms around you.
"A-Ankle," you whimpered in pain, your grip on his waist tightening and God he hated that sound so much.
You must've rolled it when you jumped, and having landed on it when you reached the water, it definitely made it worse.
"It's okay, you're okay," he murmured, littering kisses against the side of your head to try and keep your mind off it. "Robin already called for help, they should be on their way, alright?"
You gave him a small nod, inching even closer to him, seeking as much warmth from him as possible. Your cold breath was tickling his skin but he didn’t care. Hell, you could be breathing fucking ice and he still wouldn’t give a shit.
As long as you were breathing.
"I need you to stay awake for me, okay?"
"I-I'll try," you whispered.
"First to fall asleep is the biggest loser," he mumbled, squeezing you slightly when he felt your eyes flutter close. "And you wouldn't want me to win this, babe, because I'll be a little shit about it."
"Not f-fair," you choked out a laugh.
"It's plenty fair," Steve chuckled tearfully, ignoring the sudden wetness on his cheeks. He hugged you tighter instead. "So stay awake or you'll lose to me. Again."
"Right there! They're right over there!"
Steve had never been so grateful to hear Robin's voice.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"So are you finally going to tell her?"
"Tell her what?" Steve questioned back, unable to take his eyes off of you, soundly sleeping in a hospital bed with your foot now wrapped in a cast.
The doctor had already checked everything and thankfully, there weren't any further injuries apart from your twisted ankle.
Now, all you needed was to rest and recover.
"That you've been in love with her this whole time."
Steve sighed, squeezing your hand before turning to look at his best friend.
"I'm not in love with her, Robs."
"Right," she scoffed, raising a knowing brow. "Because jumping off a cliff with zero hesitation so you could save her is totally normal behavior for someone you claim you hate."
"I never said I hated her," he argued, and it was true. He couldn't think of a single moment where he hated you.
"Yeah, well, you two definitely don't act like you like each other."
"Does she annoy and frustrate the shit out of me? Yes. But I never hated her," he admitted.
Steve didn't know what it was exactly, maybe it was his tiredness muddling his brain, maybe it was from everything that happened in the last couple of hours finally catching up to him, or maybe it was the overwhelming need to confess everything into the open before it was too late—and it almost had been. Either way, he found himself suddenly spewing out all the things that he always just kept to himself.
"She's also been the most constant person in my life, you know? Hell, we basically grew up together. I can't just not care about her," he continued, memories flooding his system before he could even stop it. "She's been so ingrained in my life, her and the cute dresses she wore at those stupid dinners our parents always dragged us to. Her and her stupid competitions whenever our babysitters would bring us to the park together. Her and that stupid dance she always did whenever she won at anything even if it was my expense—she always does this cute little wiggle whenever she won, and that never left her even as we got older," Steve chuckled at the thought.
"And fuck, don't even get me started with how similar our parents are. She's the only one who will always get me when it comes to that," he continued. "And yeah, we compete a lot, but there was no hatred between us. Maybe at the start but all that went away when we learned that whatever our parents were feeding us was bullshit—that they were bullshit.
"And fine, did I sometimes get so annoyed whenever she got a new boyfriend? Yeah. But only because she always had this bad habit of dating fucking assholes. I don't know where she got those dickheads from but every time I see a glimpse of her crying by her window at night I swear to fucking God I would've killed every single one of those assholes if she asked," he gritted, slumping down in his seat with a sigh.
"She deserves to be treated right, you know? She's already experiencing so much shit at home, she doesn't need any more of that anywhere else. Sure, she irritates me to no end but that doesn't mean she's not a sweet girl who always cried whenever some random pet commercial came on the TV during the holidays. Does her competitiveness drive me up the wall? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean I don't feel so fucking proud of her whenever she wins another medal or achieves another milestone. And yeah, I wonder about how she's doing, if she's taking care of herself, if she's getting enough sleep between her work and classes. But that's only because I worry, you know?
"And maybe I do think about her a lot but that doesn't mean I'm in love with…"
Steve blinked.
Well fuck.
"Wow," Robin marveled. "You're stupider than I thought."
"He hit his head as a kid, cut him some slack."
Steve paled at the sound of your voice, swiftly turning red at the thought that you probably heard all the things he said.
He turned to face you, groaning in annoyance when he saw the smug smile on your lips. "You've been awake this whole time?"
"I'll leave you two love birds alone," Robin sang, quickly slipping out of the hospital room and closing the door behind her.
"How much of that did you hear?" Steve asked, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Enough to say you're stupid," you hummed.
He rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat with crossed arms. "I'm not the one who jumped off the cliff and almost died just to prove a fucking point."
"Yeah, well, I guess we're both stupid then," you snorted.
He shrugged. "I guess we are."
"Jesus, you don't have to act so tense. I mean, you've already given me a mouth-to-mouth, we've practically made out already," you scoffed playfully. "I honestly thought I'd die first before swapping spit with you yet here we are."
It was your attempt at alleviating the tension, to throw in a funny quip. But with everything still so fresh in his mind, Steve simply couldn't take it well.
"Don't fucking joke about that will you?" he snapped, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face.
The silence that followed only made the tension worse.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
Steve immediately felt bad.
"No, no, no. You didn't do anything wrong, don't apologize," he sighed, meeting your eyes with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. It's just—"
He stopped himself, chewing on his bottom as he looked everywhere but at you when he felt the tears well up again.
"Will you come here?"
Steve took a calming breath and did as you asked, moving his chair closer but didn't attempt anything else than that.
"Stevie," you called when he still wouldn't look at you.
Harshly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he lifted his head. You smiled at him sweetly, wiggling your fingers to get him to come even closer.
"You scared me back there," he croaked, taking your hand with a squeeze.
"I didn't mean to," you softly said, remorseful and apologetic even though you didn't have to be.
"I know," he murmured, pressing your warm palm against his cheek as he shot you a glare. "Just don't do that again."
"Promise," you giggled, stroking his cheek with your thumb.
Steve leaned closer into your touch. "How are you feeling?"
"Better, thanks to you," you hummed, brows furrowing in thought. "When Marcus got that black eye, you said it was because he was playing dirty on one of your games." You tilted your head knowingly. "That wasn't true, wasn't it?"
Steve shrugged. "He hurt you."
"It was a small bruise on the arm, Steve," you reasoned.
"He shouldn't be giving you a fucking bruise in the first place," he growled, the memory bringing back the same anger he felt when he first saw that bruise. The soft tapping of your finger against his cheek calmed him down. "Sorry."
"Did you lose on purpose to get him expelled?"
"What? No!" he scoffed, offended, rolling his eyes when you giggled. "I tried so fucking hard to win that fight, you know, for you."
"You've always been protective of me," you hummed, taking his hand and interlacing your fingers together.
"Don't think I didn't know it was you who dyed that poor girl's hair green that one year in middle school summer camp," he retaliated.
It was a sharp and piercing scream that woke up the whole camp that morning. Everyone rushed out of bed to see what was going on only to find a girl who once was blonde was now sporting bright green hair in the middle of the crowd, crying her eyes out.
Steve would've thought it was only some silly prank if he didn't know who the girl was. But he did. Because the day before he tried to ask her to be his girlfriend, only for her to turn him down in the most embarrassing and humiliating way possible.
It wasn't difficult for him to find out who the culprit was since he immediately noticed how you kept hiding your hands in your pockets for the next few days after the incident.
The counselors quickly found out that the little menace—whoever she was—decided to use permanent dye on the poor girl's hair instead of something washable.
Your green palms colored you oh so guilty.
"She called you pathetic and gross in front of everyone!" you argued, pouting. "You looked like you were about to cry and I hated it."
Steve's heart warmed at that, a smile on his face despite rolling his eyes. "I wasn't about to cry."
"Yeah well," you shrugged, eyes trained on your intertwined fingers, your thumb playing with his. "I'm the only one who's supposed to be mean to you."
"Hmm," he agreed, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. "I guess we've always been there for each other, huh?"
"I guess so," you giggled, cupping his cheek and tugging him closer.
He stood up from his seat, following your lead until he was pressing his forehead against yours.
"Thank you for saving my life, Steve," you whispered, eyes turning glossy as so many emotions covered your irises, the weight of what almost happened catching up with you.
"You don't have to thank me for that," he said sincerely, brushing the tip of his nose against yours. "I'd do it over and over again in a heartbeat."
You nodded, sniffling, "Still, thank you."
Steve wasn't able to argue some more when you all but kissed him.
The first time Steve felt your mouth on his was a horrible experience considering he was trying to keep you alive.
Now, everything was the complete opposite.
A kiss that was careful but sweet, a hint of nervousness and excitement all the same, completely unhurried yet burning with passion as his lips molded against yours.
But still, it felt like that first gasp of air—a finally.
"I'm in love with you, too, by the way," you murmured as you pulled away, your warm breath tickling his lips.
"Thanks for clarifying," he chuckled, eyes laced with adoration, unable to stop his smile from growing wider, warmer. "I couldn't figure that out from the kiss."
"I mean, you are kinda stupid," you teased.
"We're on that same boat, sweetheart," he chuckled. "I'm sure Robin would remind us about that every single day now."
"Unfortunately," you groaned playfully. "God, she gets annoying when she's right."
"Tell me about it," he hummed, brushing his lips against yours, moving away when you chased it.
You whined.
Steve didn't hesitate to dive back in.
✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚♛ *.
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708 notes · View notes
amournoir · 9 months
Text
𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐬
pairing: sarah cameron x f!reader
count: 3.3k
warning: smut [boob play, licking, sucking, oral receiving & giving, face riding, fisting, language?]
author’s note: your girl is in a mood so you get to be in it too. 🤭 this is my very first fxf so please bear with me & let me know what you think about it, i hope you enjoy it! 😌 quick reminder that this is 21+
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You had come home early that day due to swim class being canceled which was a bummer since you loved it so much, your mother often joked you were half mermaid. Your parents had said they needed to talk to you later but since no one was home, you went over to your best friend’s house to pass time. Grabbing your bike, you hopped on it and pedaled to her house, parked it right in their front yard and dashed up the porch. 
You didn’t bother knocking, you just twisted the knob and invited yourself in. Her brother, Rafe, was sitting in the living room watching some show but at the sight of you, he yelled your name to his sister…per usual. You smiled and walked over to him, ruffling his hair a bit then skipped away to the stairs. You heard his chuckle before he was out of sight. 
You found Sarah sitting in front of her makeup table in her bikini. She was taking off her earrings and necklace slowly. You surprised her by running in and instantly jumping onto her bed. She shrieked as if you hadn’t been doing this every single time you came over so you laughed as always. 
“Fucks sake Y/N! Can’t you knock?” She asked, her hand clutching her chest. 
You beamed widely, “Yeah but it’s more fun hearing you scream.” 
“One of these days I’ll actually have a heart attack.” 
“Ooh can you? I need to put my CPR training to good use.” You asked with a grin. 
She scoffed, shaking her head. “I hate you.” 
“You’re not capable of it.” 
“Ugh just come help me.” 
“With what?” You lifted yourself up and propped yourself on your elbows. 
“My necklace is tangled with my bikini straps.” 
“Hmm I thought you said you hated me.” You wondered out loud. 
“Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
She sighed and tugged on a tight strap but nothing happened. She tried again harder and this time, her necklace broke free but so did her entire top. You had been watching her the entire time but her back was to you, she wasn’t aware yet. You saw the reflection of her body on the mirror in front of her, you saw her huge boobs and nipples. You wanted to tear your eyes away but you couldn’t possibly. It took her longer than a minute to realize it and that’s when she quickly covered her chest. 
You pushed yourself off the bed and walked over towards her, standing right behind. Neither of you said a word so you just offered a smile instead. She couldn’t meet your eyes, you could see how nervous and embarrassed she was but there was no need to be. Both of you were girls, both of you had breasts so nothing was weird as far as you were concerned. 
“It’s okay, you know.” 
She kept her eyes down, “What is?” 
“You don’t need to hide it, it was an accident. No big deal.” 
She sighed and looked up at you through the mirror then smiled, “You promise?” 
You stuck your pinky out to her, “Pinky promise.” 
One of her hands reached out and linked your pinkies together. You suddenly had the urge to see it again, this time up close. So with your eyes fixated on hers, you placed both of your hands on her shoulders then lowered them to her chest. You stopped to see her reaction but she didn’t do a thing, only watched you. You continued on until you reached her bikini top which you carefully pushed down until it fell on her lap and now she was bare chested again. 
Your hands came back up and slowly kneaded her breasts, both at the same time then alternated. Your fingers traced her nipples which made her let out a very faint moan so you flicked her nipple and again, she made the same sound. You liked it. You liked hearing her moan and you liked how huge her boobs were. You kept toying with them, rolling them around, pinching and squeezing as she kept moaning. You stopped and her eyes shot open and stared at you. She turned around in her seat then stood up and fully faced you. 
Biting her bottom lip, she reached out to you and you let her. You didn’t know where this was going but you knew you didn’t want to stop it. Sarah didn’t reach out to kiss you, much to your surprising dismay, she reached for your top. You stood there as she lifted it up to reveal your black lace bra cupping your slightly larger boobs. She didn’t even bother unclasping it, she just pulled your breasts out one by one then bounced them in her hands as if checking their weight. 
Her eyes were fully fixed on your chest as her hands switched from soft massages to roughly squeezing you. A moan escaped you and that made her eyes flicker up to yours. Whilst holding that eye contact, she lowered herself and pressed a soft kiss between your boobs then on top of each one. You threw your head back so she kissed them again and again until she was licking them. You slowly pulled her up and held her hands as you led her to the bed where you laid down on your back and pulled her on top. 
With a smile, she tucked your hair behind your ear then leaned down and kissed your cheek. Your neck was next then her lips trailed back down to your boobs. She started with a few kitten-like licks then moved to sucking. You closed your eyes and relished the experience as your hands found their way to her hair where you tugged her head up. She lifted her head and looked at you then down at your lips, before you knew it, her lips were on yours. Your tongues explored each other, she was fully sucking you. You placed a hand on the back of her head to pull her closer and she placed hers on your neck which turned you the fuck on. 
Your make out session was hot and heavy in every which way, from grinding to sucking, you both couldn’t stop. Once it did end, the dry humping began. Sarah was on top slowly grinding her hips against yours to find some sort of release. You had placed your hands on her ass, pushing the bikini bottom between her cheeks. Your hands squeezed and dug into her ass, making her grind harder. Momentarily you stopped her and lifted your hips, removing your shorts and underwear in one go. 
Sarah stared at your bare cunt in awe, fully mesmerized. You smiled and ran your fingers between your folds, separating them as you gathered the wetness. You lifted your soaked fingers in front of her face and she opened her mouth instantly, her lips wrapping around you. She sucked and licked your fingers clean, even between the crevices. Such a hot dirty girl, you thought to yourself. You suddenly had a brilliant idea. 
“Can I taste you too?” 
“Only if I get to go down on you too.” She said with a smile. 
“Turn around and sit on my face.” 
Her eyes grew wide, “Wait I can ride you?” 
“Yeah, is it okay?” 
“I’ve always wanted to see you naked so this is a dream Y/N!” She exclaimed and immediately got herself into position. 
Sarah spread your legs apart for her personal viewing then kissed your inner thighs. Her ass was above your head, careful not to fall on you. Her fingers wandered around your outer area then inched their way closer until she reached your cunt. Without warning, she inserted two fingers inside your pussy very slowly then leaned down forward. 
She looked back to you and said, “You're so wet and pink.” 
You moaned in response instead and this made her wonder out loud, “How many fingers do you think I can fit?” 
“I don’t know, four?” You guessed. 
“Four?! Such a slut but I like it, let’s try.” So she did. 
Her lips kissed your cunt then she lowered her head even closer and licked your pussy. Your body naturally jolted and you moaned. Once she knew what made you react, she would repeat the action again and again. Her licks turned to full on sucking and her fingers pushed in and out, each time adding a new one. Four fingers in and you still wanted more. Out of nowhere, she spit on your pussy and pushed the saliva inside. 
Gone were your soft moans, now you were audibly groaning and rocking your hips to increase your release. Thank goodness everyone was out of the house. Her little sister was at some camp, her stepmom was on the mainland shopping all day, her dad was at his workplace, and you had heard her brother leaving minutes after you got there with his club friends. So you could moan as loud as you’d like, no one was around and the thought of that turned you on even more. 
You weren’t the only one turned on. Your moans and groans had gotten to Sarah so much that she was quite literally dripping. You felt it once but didn’t realize it until now, you thought it was sweat from you. Turns out, she had been getting off at the sight of you. To prove your theory, you reached one hand up to slide her bikini bottom aside and revealed her soaking cunt. Sarah gasped and slightly jumped at the contact of cold air. Your other hand came up to gather her wetness on your fingers and sucked it. Salty and smooth, you mentally concurred. 
“You get off by watching me Sarah?” You asked an obvious question but you just wanted her answer. 
“Who wouldn’t? My entire fist is in your squishy soft pussy and yet you’re still wet.” She replied. 
“You’re fisting me??” You hadn’t even noticed. 
“You’re so hot that way baby.” She cooed. 
“Fuck me deeper with your hand babe, I wanna cum.” I was so ready to beg. 
“Mmm you’re such a pretty girl Y/N.” She praises, “If only you could see how slutty you look with a fist in you. I’ll make you cum baby.” 
The thought was sending you to places further than you’d imagined. Sarah, your childhood best friend was naked on top of you with her ass in your face and her hand— fist, in your pussy. You now wanted to see it. A picture, video, anything to relive this after it was done. But it wasn’t, not yet because you hadn’t started. 
As your friend stuck her fist deeper into you and pushed in and out whilst sucking your clit, you lowered her ass closer to your face. Her cunt was now on your lips, you licked once then twice, each time Sarah moaned and pushed down. You could tell she wanted to ride your face and you wanted her to but not until you were fully satisfied. You used your fingers to spread her folds open then spit up inside and used your middle finger to push it in. You moved your head around to get a more comfortable position then spread your legs further apart as she kept going. 
Both of you were now eating each other out. You slapped her ass and motorboated her pussy, your tongue deep inside. This went on for a few minutes but you weren’t getting what you wanted so with a smirk, you slapped her cunt with your free hand. It hit you before you even realized it, she had squirted into your mouth which dripped down your chin. Her body convulsed as she placed her free hand onto the bed for support. She rocked her hips harshly against your mouth. 
“I want you to eat it all.” She said as she grinded harder on your face. 
“Yes Sarah, please give it to me.” 
She fully sat on your face then lifted herself up then sat down again. “Do you like that Y/N? Do you like me suffocating you?” 
“Hmmmph.” Your reply was muffled between her legs. 
“Can’t hear you. Speak louder or I’ll stop.” She lifted her hips up again. 
“Fuck my face baby, please use it.” You panted and waited for her. 
“Mm I plan on it. Now stick out your tongue, I want to fuck it.” 
You did as told almost immediately, you were very eager to please her. Sarah lowered herself on your tongue and got off then let it impose her again. She did this over and over, your tongue was being used as a dick for her. She bounced on it slowly then rolled her hips. Her hand was still inside you so every movement was turning you on again. You moaned wantonly against her pussy as she impaled herself continuously. Her head was thrown back, facing the ceiling, with eyes closed as she rode you. 
Her legs tightened against your head and you could tell she was close. She paused for a moment and threw her ass back into your face several times before coming on your tongue. Your lips widen to suck all of it in your mouth and down your throat. It was hot, salty, and smooth. She got off your face and rested on your abdomen, her wetness residue left on your boobs. 
She let out a sigh and looked back at you, “You’re such a good girl baby. Did you like mommy’s cum?” 
You nodded your head with a smile. “Mommy’s cum was a lot. I even made you squirt.” 
“It’s your turn now. I want you on all fours.” 
She removed her fist from inside you and you groaned at the feeling. Your pussy walls tightly held onto her fingers and this made her chuckle so instead she spit down on your cunt to loosen you up. With less effort, her hand was out and she rolled off of you. You could barely get up but the thought of being eaten from behind was enough motivation. You rolled to the side then lifted yourself up slowly, pulled your legs forward and used your hands to stabilize yourself. There you were, your boobs still in their bra but your underwear long forgotten on the floor somewhere. 
You looked back at Sarah and slightly wiggled your hips as you parted your legs. She grinned and came closer to you, her hands reached up to your bra and unclasped it, tossing it to join the mess on the floor. Your boobs immediately bounced around and this caught her eye. She reached down and pinched them, pulling them as if to milk them. You tossed your head back and moaned, your pussy clenching on thin air. 
“Fuck if I knew they were this big, I’d have done all this sooner.” She said, still squeezing and pulling on them. 
“You’ve thought of me?” 
“Hell yes. The amount of times I’ve wanted your boobs to accidentally fall out of your bikini or walk in on you after showering is ridiculous.” 
“Well now you can have me anytime.” 
“Anytime? Even in front of the guys?” 
“Sarah! We can’t do this in front of them.” 
“Why not? I want them to hear your pretty moans and see what a good girl you are when you’re fisted.” 
“Only if they can see you squirting down my throat. That was so hot by the way.” 
“Can I be honest Y/N?” Sarah asks, lowering her voice a little.
“Yeah of course.” 
“I’ve actually never done any of this before, I just saw it in some videos and I immediately thought of you. I was afraid you’d think I’m weird or something.” 
“Sarah Cameron, your kinky side is the hottest thing ever. I’ve never done this before either but I’m glad we’re each other’s firsts.” 
“Can I try another first?” She bites her lip as she looks at you. 
“Yeah, what is it?” 
“I want to eat you out on all fours.” 
You playfully shake your ass in front of her and say, “Bon appetit.” 
She grins and gets on all fours as well then moves closer to you. Once she has your ass in her view, she leans forward and slaps it softly then again harder. She lowers her head and licks from your pussy entrance to your asshole, this causes you to moan. She repeats it again and you push your ass back into her face, with both hands she grabs it firmly and sucks hard. She’s shaking her face around your pussy, her tongue deeply exploring your insides. You moan even louder, you instinctively arch your back so that you’re face down and ass up. 
The sounds coming from behind you make it sound like she’s actually eating. It’s wet and loud and it fully turns you on. You reach your hand back and feel her head then push her further into you. Sarah moans against your cunt and picks up the pace, her sucking becomes much harsher, you can feel her teeth lightly scraping you. You jumped forward, it’s all becoming too much but she follows you. She lifts her head up to take a breath then dives back in again, the cold air momentarily hits you and your pussy clenches. She spits into your asshole then lets it drip to your pussy, she does it again but the time spreads your cheeks wide so the saliva enters inside instead. 
You groan loudly, shaking your ass to get her attention back to your pussy. She notices this and sticks her tongue out then uses it to prod into your pink squishy hole, she tongue fucks you as you did her. One of her hands spreads your pussy wide open for her and the other comes down to pinch your nipples. You begin to come, she can feel the few drops on her tongue but she knows you’re not there yet. So she lifts her body up and uses her boobs to rub against your clit. With her tongue back inside your pussy, fingers pulling on your boobs, and her nipple grinding on your clit, you’re left coming in her face. You shake with so much force but she doesn’t let go on your ass, if anything she sinks her face further inside, sucking every last drop and swallowing. 
“Your pussy is so tasty baby. And you said I can have it whenever?” 
Your eyes are closed as you keep panting, unable to talk, you just nod. 
She tuts and slaps your cunt, “I need to hear you.” 
You jolt forward and quickly reply, “Yes, have me whenever.” 
“Sit up, I want you to suck mommy’s boobs again.” 
You do as told even if it does take you a minute then you look at her. “So we’re doing the whole mommy thing?” 
“Yeah, I like it.” She sits on the bed with her legs open wide and pats for you to sit in front. 
“Not surprised you have a mommy kink.” You reply with a smirk then sit, your cunts are so close to each other, you can actually feel the heat. 
“You feel that too?” 
“Yeah, can we?” 
Sarah smiles and says, “Another day, I’ll ride your pussy until we cum on each other.” 
“Fuck that sound so good.” Your hands reach for her boobs and you softly massage them. 
“Yeah? You want mommy to fuck your slutty pussy? You want our pussy lips together baby?” 
You nod before you answer, “Yes mommy, I want them to make noise and slide.” 
“Okay but now, be a good girl and suck my boobs. It’s feeding time.” Sarah places her nipple on your lip. You open your mouth and suck it in slowly, closing your eyes and your other hand gently slaps around her other boob. You were happy and you couldn’t wait for more. You’d be each other’s firsts for everything.
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femsolid · 10 months
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Last month, the Daily Mail reported on the shocking case of 15-year-old Olivia Maunder, who was told by Frimley Park Hospital to try a mindfulness app to deal with her ‘indescribable agony’. It turned out she had a tumour in her pelvis. On one of the many occasions she was taken to A&E, she was told to ‘calm down’. On another, she was told that she was just ‘mirroring [her] mum’s pain as she had had back problems’. She and her mum were told it was all down to stress. By the time the tumour was discovered, it was so extensive that surgery was no longer an option. Olivia now has a few months to live. I had a personal experience of this some years ago, when a friend lost the use of her legs and was offered mindfulness classes rather than a mobility scooter. No doubt she was expected to use the power of her mind to teleport. I wonder if men are told to go away and be mindful as much as women are? I very much doubt it. We didn’t need the arrival of terms like ‘cervix-havers’ and ‘menstruators’ – but never ‘prostate-havers’ and ‘ejaculators’ – to know that the medical profession has always treated women differently. Women are 50 per cent less likely to be diagnosed after having a heart attack, are given less CPR than men, and are more likely to be given sedatives – rather than painkillers – for pain than men. While the NHS has been busy erasing such hate-speech terms as ‘mother’ and ‘breastfeeding’ from their public-information bulletins, NHS maternity negligence claims have doubled in the past decade. Last year, it was revealed that more than 200 babies and nine mothers had died due to bad care at the Shrewsbury and Telford NHS Trust alone. Sadistic doctors no longer perform lobotomies on women as a cure for promiscuity, or diagnose any female behaviour unpleasing to men as ‘hysteria’, but as Caroline Criado-Perez’s 2019 book, Invisible Women, pointed out, the medical system is ‘from root to tip, systematically discriminating against women, leaving them chronically misunderstood, mistreated and misdiagnosed’. Women are still being told that extreme illnesses are all in their minds. Nicolette Baker, a woman from Cornwall, shrunk to three stone because her doctors insisted that she was anorexic, repeatedly sectioning her. She is dying of Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome. Kirsty Maxwell, from Perthshire, was repeatedly told she had an eating disorder and was given everything from Gaviscon to antidepressants. She had terminal cancer. Doctors certainly seem to know what a woman is when it suits them – someone you tell to ‘calm down, dear’. This is the most lethal kind of gaslighting. It needs to be tackled, not zhuzhed up with twaddle like mindfulness. It’s thought to be worth around $4 billion, taking in everything from meditation apps to the 60,000 books on Amazon including the word ‘mindfulness’ in their titles, including Mindful Finance, Mindful Leadership and Mindful Dog Owners. This is all despite the increasing evidence that too much navel-gazing can increase depression and decrease your ability to withstand pain – even though dealing with pain is precisely what mindfulness is often prescribed for.
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dixons-sunshine · 17 days
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Mouth To Mouth | Young!Daryl Dixon x Young!Fem!Reader
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Summary: The moment seemed all too perfect. You and Daryl had just confessed to each other and were sharing your first kiss with each other. It was too bad that your mom had terrible timing, and walked in at the wrong moment.
Genre: Fluff
Era: Pre outbreak.
Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams universe.
Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sexual innuendos.
A/n: Here's the long awaited (wanted by, like, two people) fic about what happened when the mom walked in. I hope y'all enjoy! I really hoped to have my ex!celebrity fic with Daryl ready, but my draft never saved and I lost 2000 words, and that really discouraged me, so I worked on this little fic instead. Also, if anyone would want it, I have so many personal headcannons for this universe, so if anyone wants to see them, let me know.
As always, my requests are open for any TWD requests, as well as Scud Frohmeyer requests.
“Mom, please don't freak out. I can explain.”
Your mom raised her eyebrows at you, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked at the position you were in and nodded sarcastically, an amused smirk creeping onto her face.
“I'm sure you can,” she mused, her eyes flickering between you and Daryl. “This totally doesn't look like the two of you were just making out. You were just giving him mouth to mouth, right? Teaching him how to do CPR? Or you just slipped and happened to slam your lips against his.”
From the corner of your eye, you could see Daryl duck his head in embarrassment, his face flushed with a blush. You could feel heat creeping onto your cheeks as well, your mom's knowing stare penetrating into your soul. You knew that your mom probably didn't care that you and Daryl were kissing, but that didn't mean that she wasn't going to pretend to go into "protective mom" mode. She loved doing it to embarrass you a little bit.
“Mom,” you drawled in embarrassment, sending her a pleading look. “Please don't.”
“What, I walk in to find my daughter and her friend chewing on each other's faces, which will probably scar me for life, but I can't lay down some guesses for what your explanation would've been? How's that fair?”
“Fine, yes, we were kissing, but you don't have to make such a big deal out of it. It's not like I haven't walked in on you getting busy with Mr Prescott,” you retorted defensively, sneaking glances at Daryl who remained silent, his eyes nervously flickering between you and the floor.
Your mom let out a small laugh and shook her head. “Touche, sweetheart,” she nodded, shifting her attention to Daryl. “Daryl, I'm not gonna bite your head off if you look at me.”
Daryl reluctantly rose his head, a nervous glint in his eyes. He was fidgeting with his hands, picking at the loose skin on his thumb and you had to resist the urge to take his hand in yours to stop the nervous gesture. You didn't want to give your mom more ammo to tease you with.
“There, that's better,” your mom mused, taking a step closer. “Now I can see those blue eyes of yours that my daughter wouldn't stop raving about. I'm honestly surprised that it took her this long to make a move. She's liked you for quite a while now. She would never shut up about you when you left.”
“Mom!” you complained, sending her an exasperated look. “Can we not?!”
Your mom simply let out another laugh. “What? It's adorable!”
“Mom, please,” you pleaded, sneaking another look at Daryl. His gaze had returned to the floor, but you didn't miss the small smirk that was on his face.
“Alright, alright. I'll lighten up,” she reluctantly agreed, turning around to grab something from the table. “Sorry to have interrupted your "totally not making out" session. I need to get back to work anyway. I forgot a folder my boss needed. But after today, I'm suspecting that this will become a regular thing, so I won't ever be forgetting folders or anything ever again. My eyes won't ever recover.”
“Goodbye, Mom!” you exclaimed in embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands.
“Remember to use protection, kids! I'm not ready to be a grandma just yet,” your mom chuckled and left, leaving you and Daryl alone.
The air was charged with an awkward silence. You dared a look at him and saw him nervously fiddling with his hands, but the small smile from earlier still remained. He turned his head and locked eyes with you, his gaze holding a certain amount of mischief to it.
“So, ya have been ravin' 'bout me to yer mom?” he said with a hint of playfulness, finally breaking the silence between you. “Wha' have ya been sayin'? Ya been talkin' 'bout my rugged good looks? Dun' worry, by the way. I won't tell nobody tha' ya have a secret crush on me.”
You took one of the pillows from the couch and threw it at him. Daryl effortlessly caught it and laughed—not chuckled, but actually laughed—and dropped it down next to him. Before you could retort with a sarcastic remark, Daryl leaned forward and captured your lips with his, silencing any and all thoughts you had.
You returned the kiss easily. However, you pulled away after a few moments, lightly shoving him back with a playful smile on your face. You stood up and extended a hand to him, which he took without any hesitation. You pulled him up and lead him to your room, closing the door behind you. You gently urged him backwards and pushed him onto your bed, watching him comply easily.
A nervous look flitted across Daryl's eyes. You instantly caught it and gave him a reassuring smile, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek.
“Relax, pretty boy. We're not doing anything like that tonight,” you reassured him, stepping closer in between his legs. “My mom just caught us kissing. Do you really think I want to risk her walking in on something like that in the same night?”
Daryl exhaled a sigh of relief, looking up at you. “Then wha' are ya doin'?”
You smiled at him and gently urged him down, letting his body fully lay down and his head rest on the pillow. You got in on the other side and rested your head on his chest, getting comfortable against him. You felt him stiffen slightly, feeling his hand hover over your waist uncertainly.
“Relax, Daryl. We've cuddled before.”
“Yeah, but s'different now,” he whispered, his hand still hovering over your waist. “This ain't friend cuddlin' no more. S'couple cuddlin' now. I dun' wanna do anythin' to make ya uncomfortable.”
You smiled and pressed a kiss against his clothed chest, nuzzling your face deeper into it. “I'll tell you if you do, but you can touch me. I won't bite,” you assured him, feeling his hand finally rest on your waist before adding in a teasing manner. “Not unless you want me to.”
Daryl inhaled sharply, his grip on your waist momentarily tightening before relaxing again. “This gon' be a regular thing now? Ya teasin' the shit outta me?”
“Maybe,” you giggled, eliciting a chuckle from him.
“Yer gon' be the death of me, girl,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “But I guess I'll allow it.”
“Good, because I'm not stopping. I love seeing you blush like that, handsome.”
“Stop,” he groaned, burying his face into your hair.
“Stop making you get all flustered like this?” you asked, shaking your head. “Not when it's this adorable.”
Before Daryl could say anything else, you rolled away from him, flicking off the lamp before settling into your side of the bed. You got comfortable, closing your eyes. “Goodnight, handsome.”
A few moments of silence passed, before you felt him shuffle behind you. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, spooning you from the back. He pulled you closer to him, breathing in your clean scent before finally whispering something back.
“Night, beautiful.”
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