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angelguk · 3 years

Text

→ on my mind 02 — a jeongguk scenario

member: jeon jungkook

word count: 25.6k

genre: domestic!au + established relationship + fluff + smut + mild angst

warnings: slow build / oral sex (f & m receiving) / multiple smut scenes / over-stimulation / breeding kink / creampies / mentions of infertility / pregnancy is a central part of the story line / pregnancy sex / jeongguk just wants to be a good dad / i am so sorry if the editing is not up to par i tried my best / mild possessiveness / mentions of misogyny and an asshole manager

soundtracks: (they long to be) close to you, carpenters + to you, yoona & lee sang soon + someone’s shining, wisue + who knew, chloe x halle, + but i’m trying to tell you how much i love you, saevom + pretend, lee aram + when the wind blows, yoona + meet me in amsterdam, rini + she, jannabi

special thanks to: @gukkheaven for seeing the baby version of this fic <3 / @a-life-thats-next-to-normal for sharing some much needed baby info with me!

header credit @dee-ehn <3

read the first part here

The first time you buy a test, you don’t tell him.

It’s a Thursday afternoon and you arrive home first. Jeongguk had texted you that he would be late today because Namjoon needed him to work overtime on a file that was due. You had taken the rare opportunity to scurry to your local chemist and purchase a handful of pregnancy tests. You’d dumped the pink boxes on the counter, trying in vain to avoid the blatant stare of the cashier as she packaged them into a small black bag. The trek back home nerve-racking. Your heart pounding painfully against your chest, the scruff of your sneakers against the pavement the only accompaniment to the tension you felt weighing over your body. It was only when you had passed a playground, eyes skimming over the hordes of children joyously dandling from monkey bars and slipping down sliders with wide grins on their faces, did your heart momentarily calm down. Lulled by the sound of their laughter until your pulse was relaxed once more.

You could do this — it’s just a test.

The apartment is eerily silent when you click the door closed behind you. You heel your shoes off, sliding your feet into the downy slippers Jeongguk had picked up for you a while back. You dump the bag on the dining table, hands shaking as you dig for your phone in your bag. Your fingers tap on the familiar pink app on your screen and you read the text that you’ve been subtly denying for the past week. Your period is late. Sometimes you miss a day or two but a whole nine days had passed and mother nature hadn’t sent you the usual reminder that indicated that you were not with child.

For some reason, the words sent a thrill through your body. It wasn’t like you were taking precautions to avoid pregnancy - quite the opposite. Ever since Jeongguk had admitted his secret wish to you, you’d both taken every opportunity to make sure you’d get knocked up. Most of the apartment had been rechristened during those activities, particularly the couch. The moment you’d told him you wouldn’t mind carrying his child a spark of desire had reignited in Jeongguk that you hadn’t seen since you started dating five years ago.

But for some reason, nothing was working the way you’d expected it to be. With Jeongguk’s new robust sex drive, you expected to be pregnant within a month tops. Yet, your period appeared each month without fail and it hurt to see the doubt creep onto his face every time he brought you a hot water bottle to lessen the cramps wreaking havoc in your stomach. For a while, you thought you were infertile. You considered taking up the issue with your doctor but it was hard to acknowledge that you may be. That either of you may be. Not when both of you wanted this so bad.

The fact that your period had been missing for a significant amount of time in your perspective was both thrilling and alarming at the same time.

When you finally pick up one of the pregnancy tests, you take your time, reading over the instructions. Three times exactly. One-line means not pregnant, two lines indicate that you are. Not hard, right?

In the bathroom, you struggle to pee. Your hand is trembling as you hold the collection cup and your flow is unsteady despite the two bottles of water you’d chugged on the train ride home once Jeongguk told you he’d be late. Things work out, regardless of your nerves.

Once everything is done, your hands are clean and the two pregnancy tests you’d unwrapped are sitting flat on the counter of your bathroom, you fiddle with the timer app on your phone, setting it to five minutes.

Those are the longest five minutes of your life.

You leave the bathroom, unable to look before the set time, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. You can’t sit, so you pace around, slippers slapping the hardwood floorboards as you try to attempt to calm yourself down but fail miserably at it because the clock hanging in the living room is ticking too loud; it echoes in your head matching the beats of the seconds you’re mentally counting down. Outside of your apartment, someone’s shouting a passing greeting across the street, there’s the tickle of a bike bell and a gruff woof echoing from the throat of a dog. The sounds of life outside the panic bubble you’re currently in draws you to the window. You pad over, lean down to rest your elbows against the sill as your eyes take in the sight of the evening sun dipping behind the silhouettes of buildings. The sky bleeds orange and red, bright fuchsia pink and cornflower blue trailing behind their wake like silage. The view is partially obscured by murky grey clouds but beyond them, you can still spot the lavender tone the two colours create when they flux into each other.

The sight slows down your heartbeat, a sense of tranquillity washing over your body as if you’d been dipped into the ocean. It reminds you of the sea view both of you had left behind when you’d moved to Seoul four years ago. You can’t help but slip into a reverie, nose full of the ghost-like remnants of salty air, the sand you’d played in as a child a phantom caressing the soles of your feet. The sunsets in Busan were better but Seoul is where Jeongguk and you had crafted life together, even if you sometimes wished you had never left your hometown at all.

The alarm going off in the bathroom yanks you right back into your quaint little apartment. You take a deep breath and then rise. Your knees wobble as you walk to the bathroom, a sheen of sweat building in the palms of your hands. The sudden urge to just get this over with steadies your steps until you’re standing before the counter again, staring at your reflection in the mirror. There are dark bags underneath your eyes and your face carries the worries of the day. You look worn and you feel it too. Coupled with the extra pressure of trying and failing to get pregnant, there’s so much on your back right now it feels as if it’s bent over. You sigh, eyes still refusing to falter and look downwards at the results on your counter.

It takes you a moment to gather the courage to pluck up the first test.

Your breath is trapped in your throat and your eyes suddenly feel hot and wet. Your vision blurs up and your hands are shaking but even despite the tears falling down your cheeks, you can see the results.

It’s one line. Negative.

The other one reads the same and all you can do is try to remember how to breathe as you roughly wipe away your tears. Your hands are trembling as you wrap up and dispose of the two tests, shoving them into the trash before you pile more tissue on top of it, wishing you could hide from the shame you feel too. The black bag with the other tests gets tucked behind your pads in the cupboard. Jeongguk won’t question that, so it's the safest place to store it.

You head to the shower next, allowing the rushing water to sweep away the dried tear stains on your face, hoping it erases the crushing feeling of disappointment sitting on your chest too. But it doesn’t and even as you move around the kitchen to make dinner, your actions seem slow, languid in a bad way, held down by the fact that no matter what you can’t seem to get pregnant.

Jeongguk knows right away something is off.

He came home late as he said he would, pressed a kiss to your cheek and muttered a small greeting before heading to the shower. When he emerged once more in grey sweats and a worn white t-shirt, he’d plopped himself down at the dining table, gave you a quiet once over and then opened his mouth to gently say, “Your eyes are red.”

“Bad day at work,” you lie, placing a bowl of rice before him.

“Seungmin?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

You fall into a silence that should be comfortable but it isn’t. Every time you glance up Jeongguk is staring at you with a worried expression that makes your heart heavy. Even between bites of food, you can see his brain working, mulling over a way to make you feel better. Which sucks because Jeongguk shouldn’t be worrying about insignificant issues like this. He had a lot on his plate anyway. His extra hours at the office were taking a gradual toll on him. His eyes seemed hollower and he’d had to skip a couple of gym sessions so he didn’t even have his usual outlet for stress. There was a vein surfacing on his forehead and it pulsed every time he was thinking too hard about something. Like it was now. It hurt even more when you knew Jeongguk was putting all this stress on himself because he wanted to find a bigger place for his future family. The spare room you owned had long since been converted into his game room and he wasn’t about to give up that little luxury just yet. He was only taking on more responsibilities at the office because he believed that his future children deserve a place to run, play games, to just be a child. The image of the two negative tests linger before your vision and your heart breaks a little more because it feels like Jeongguk is working hard for something that’ll never become a reality.

He cleans up while you take your place on the couch. Even with the drone of the drama on the television and the clinking of dishes as Jeongguk washes up fills your apartment, you still can’t settle in and shake off the cloud that’s hanging above your head. When he does join you, Jeongguk lugs over the soft black blanket you’d whisked from Yoongi’s apartment, carrying his favourite bar of chocolate in his hands.

He shoves it in your direction, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Here, take this.”

“Why? It’s yours.” But you clasp your fingers around the plastic wrapping, the warmth of his lips against your skin ebbing through you.

He shrugs, shifting against you so that your legs are thrown over his and the blanket covers both of your bodies. Beneath it, his large warm hand searches for yours, latching around your fingers and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Take it. You said you had a bad day and chocolate always makes you feel better, doesn’t it?”

The corners of your mouth are lifting upwards as you tear the package open. It's mint flavoured. Jeongguk always had an affinity towards sweet mint flavoured things, and the chocolate melts on your tongue with ease. Slowly, the tension within you abates, your mind vaguely focusing on the screen before you, Jeongguk’s warm firm body burning beside you. You melt into him, breaking off pieces of chocolate and nudging them against his mouth until he parts his lips and allows you to drop them inside. His tongue trails against your fingertips despite the ‘gross’ you mutter into the evening air. All he does is laugh and pull you closer, brushing another swift kiss on your cheek. You settle against him, resting your head against the curve of his shoulder before the drama takes your attention. One of the characters had made a joke and the rise of Jeongguk’s chest beneath your head as he laughs calms you down so much that you can’t help but laugh too.

The evening winds down in this manner. Jeongguk unknowingly melting away the tension that had built up within you with each soft smile and laugh that he gives you as he talks about his day over the voices of the actors on screen. You listen intently, hoping you can take away some of his stress too until you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. He gently shakes you awake, taking your hand to guide you into bed where you promptly collapse between the sheets. You can hear his footsteps as he moves around, checking the doors and switching the lights off, but your mind feels foggy and your eyes are heavy.

When he settles in beside you, shirtless and having tucked away from the semi you don’t know he’s sporting, your breaths are slow and slumber is slipping over you. His arm finds its way over your waist and his chest is plastered against your back. You’re about to fall asleep, the dark deep wonders of rest right on the edge of your vision but you’re wiggling around, slotting the curve of your ass against Jeongguk’s crotch and that’s when you instantly wake up.

His erection is nudging against your ass and you can tell he’s still awake from the rise and fall of his chest behind you. He thinks you’re still sleeping because he doesn’t say anything, just trails a finger against the curve of your hips. The touch warms you even through the fabric of your pyjamas. But you’re suddenly on edge again, the negative tests flashing before your eyes. You were going to book an appointment with the doctor soon but would it hurt to try one more time before you did so? It really wouldn’t.

You wiggle against him harder, the growing curve of his cock against you eliciting a rush of slick from your cunt. When you grind into him, Jeongguk groans, a low rumble that slips from his throat. The grip on your hip draws taut. He knows you’re awake.

“If you keep doing that, we’re going to have a problem.”

You grin, hips still pushing backwards. “What if I’m willing to solve it?”

“I wouldn’t let you.”

You halt, ass still pressed against his crotch, the smile falling from your face and your arousal rapidly dissipating. Jeongguk’s pulling away before you can say anything, rising on his elbows so that he can look at you.

“I know Seungmin isn’t the reason why you were sad today. I saw the test boxes in the bathroom.”

It’s so quiet that you can hear the rush of blood filling your head. The tears you’d thought you’d run out of, reappear instantly, dripping down your cheeks. He wipes them away with a forlorn smile before shifting to wrap you in his warm arms. Your chest shudders with every breath you take but Jeongguk holds you together, whispering words of comfort against your ear.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay.” He holds you a little tighter when you start to hiccup against the crook of his neck, rubbing a large hand against your back.

When you finally calm down, you pull away, cheeks wet, to find that Jeongguk’s own eyes are tinged red too.

“Were they negative?” You nod, still, a little bit choked up. But then he smiles and moves to press a tepid kiss between your eyebrows. “Stop stressing. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“Getting pregnant shouldn’t be this hard. All I have to do is open my legs.”

“Hey,” He pats your damp cheek in chastisement. “Stop talking like that. You don’t have control over your body. Don’t blame yourself for things you can’t help. For all we know, this could be my fault.”

“It’s nobody’s fault.” You mutter. “I just - we’ve been trying for three months now and I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“We could go get checked. Both of us.” He’s pulling you closer again. “Don’t blame yourself, baby. Please.”

“I’m trying not to,” you whisper back, falling back into the comfort of his body. Jeongguk is like a pillar of strength for you, particularly when you feel like you have none left within you. And right now you don’t. But he holds you up, his hands caressing your skin softly, pushing off the worries that plague. You fall asleep like this, eyes crusty from crying and Jeongguk’s loving gaze watching over your features.

The next day, you book an appointment and try to ignore the nervous thoughts gnawing at your conscience.

Your period comes three days later and all that does is build on to the new feeling of resentment that you were developing against your uterus.

Jeongguk buys you your favourite chocolate, keeps your supply of hot water bottles going, cook’s dinner and tells you to stop worrying.

→

The late August afternoon sun warms your back as your drag Taehyung through the lake. You’ve got your arms wrapped around his neck in a playful choke-hold and despite his wild thrushes you manage to dunk him into the tepid lake water — retribution for what he did to you earlier. He’d shoved you right into the lake from atop some boulders, leaving you shocked and with water filling your nose for most of the afternoon. Somewhere in the background, you can hear Seokjin screaming at his twins because they’re copying your actions on each other and Jimin is hiding Bora from the two homicides about to take place in broad daylight.

You let go of Taehyung when he elbows you roughly and watch him rise to the surface, face tinged rose, but a good-natured boxy grin plastered on his features.

“If Jeongguk wouldn’t be able to beat my ass, I would end you Y/N,” he says.

You roll your eyes, playfully punching his arm. “Sure you would.”

Taehyung’s grin broadens. “I’m tempted to prove you wrong but you should get the boys before they murder each other.” He says before shaking his head. The droplets that fly from his mane obscure your vision so you twist around, waddling through the water, just in time to catch Minho body slam Minjoon into the water.

“Minho! You’re going to kill your brother!” Seokjin sounds beyond distressed, so on his behalf, you swim further into the water, and pull the two boys apart only to find them grinning wickedly at each other. They had just turned five and had reached the age where morbid violence was amusing instead of alarming.

“Boys, can we find something else to play instead? You’re going to send your father to an early grave.”

“What’s a grave?” Minjoon inquires, clinging to your waist as you haul them back to shore. Taehyung’s already out, meandering back to the cabins that belonged to Jimin’s affluent family. It was his idea to have a quick weekend getaway at the lake. He insisted that the kids needed to go out and play in the wild but he wanted to get everyone out of the house. The stress from work and studies were taking a huge toll on the relations within your group. You’d seen Yoongi and Namjoon argue for the first time in a while and it had been over whether Marvel was right in killing off Tony Stark. Yoongi had nearly thrown a plate at Namjoon’s head when he insisted that Tony deserved to die. That alone instantly made you agree to Jimin’s plan. You had to pack for Jeongguk too since he was swamped with work, another reason why everyone needed this mini vacation.

The man in question is nursing a beer by the grill, a languid grin on his face as he chats with Namjoon. The smile on his lips sends a rush of affection flooding through your heart because you hadn’t seen it for a while now. What with your uterus refusing to do its duty and the workload he was dealing with; you were glad he was taking a break now. He deserved it.

“A grave is where people go and sleep for a very long time,” You carefully respond, running a hand through Minho’s wet hair. They both have Seokjin’s bright eyes and the curiosity within them slightly unnerves you. “You should go ask your dad, he can explain it better.”

They shot off at that, sprinting to their father who’d given you a grateful smile when you’d dragged them out alive. Unfortunately, he was now trying to feed his third son Chansook, who was a stubborn eater according to his wife Seoyeon and coupled with the insistent pestering from the boys you could see him slowly going mad.

Instead of helping, as you should, to diffuse the situation, you head towards the kitchen, snatching up an oversized t-shirt on the way there. Seoyeon’s dashing from place to place, checking pots and pans with the help of Jimin’s wife Bora and Namjoon’s wife Eunbi. Yoongi and Hoseok take it upon themselves to cook the near twelve-packs of ramen needed to feed all the mouths present. You leave them to it, aware that Yoongi makes his ramen in a specific manner and you’d rather stay away than help him in case you ruined it. Seoyeon shoves a chopping board and some vegetables in your direction which you gladly take, settling beside Soomi.

“Is Bora outside?” She asks, slicing up a melon.

“Jimin’s got her. She’s fine.”

“Surprised she hasn’t cried yet. She hates being away from home for long periods.”

“Three days isn’t long,” You comment.

“It is in her world,” Soomi remarks, her laugh gentle. You glance at her, taking in the new wrinkles on her face due to being a mother and working at the same time. You don’t know how she handles it, especially because Soomi inherited her father’s dramatic and clingy traits. But even despite the stress, there’s a soft smile on her lips. You know she’s thinking about her child. The whole concept of infinite love that a mother possessed for her children was still lost upon you. You loved Jeongguk to the Sun and back but the love lingering on Soomi’s face at the simple thought of her baby was entirely different. Some part of you longed to know what that felt like.

“Can I ask a question?” You carefully pose, slicing the radishes Seoyeon handed you earlier.

“Go ahead.”

“How long did it take for you and Jimin to conceive?”

“With his stamina,” she scoffs, “Not long at all. I was pregnant by the end of our honeymoon. Why are you asking?” Her eyes are on you, shining with curiosity eerily similar to the twins’ gaze.

“No particular reason. Just curious.”

“Are you pregnant?” Her blatant question has your cheeks heated and you pray the rest of the occupants in the kitchen didn’t catch what she said.

“No,” you hastily reply. “I’m not. But we are trying.”

“Oh.” Soomi’s staring at you with a gaze you can’t decipher. “You don’t want to get married first?”

“We talked about that. We’re in no rush for marriage. We’re both it for each other as far as we’re concerned and a piece of paper won’t change how we feel about it. So we’ll skip out on marriage for the time being. Our parents know how we feel about marriage too. Even if they don’t exactly agree, it’s our relationship.” You make your tone firm on purpose. This question has been posed to you too many times, so the defence in your words is natural. But the look Soomi gives you is sharp enough to crack through the thin glass that constructs your resolve. Her gaze isn’t mean, but there’s a clear judgement in her eyes. She pauses, a gentle sigh slipping from her lips before she slowly opens her mouth.

“If that’s what you want, then do it. But I have to warn you, kids do shake up the picture quite a lot. Soomi taught me so much about Jimin already, things I would never have known about him. Some of them I didn’t like and others I loved and I bet she’s shown Jimin things about me that I never knew too. It’s a lot to have a kid and you need to make sure your relationship can handle the extra stress and responsibility you’re about to put on it.” She’s not looking at you, instead focusing on tying up her dark locks in a neat bun, but her last words linger in your head. “Don’t do something that might push you further away from each other. You love Jeongguk, but will you love him as a father when he messes up? Because he will. You’ll mess up a lot too. Parenting is one big learning curve that never stops curving. Even if you feel ready, Y/N, your relationship might not be.”

You move to interrupt her, a rebuttal resting on your tongue. But Soomi halts it, shooting you a glance that makes your heart halt.

“Have you thought about the pregnancy too? How your body will change? The mood swings, the morning sickness? How crappy you are going to feel? And for nine months too. That’s a lengthy time. Even with Soomi I was counting down the days until I hit the next week. I wanted it over and done with so bad if I’m being honest with you. Every pregnancy is different; I understand that — you might even be lucky and have a great one. But most aren’t a walk in the park. It’s a big commitment to make, with a lot of serious risks. Not that I want you to reconsider your choice, I just think you really need to think it through. Weigh the reasons you want this. You may want a kid right now but are you in the space to have one in nine months? That’s just something to keep in mind, Y/N. It’s not an easy thing, pregnancy or parenting.” She’s staring at you hard now, gaze earnest. “I just want you to consider that. You should talk to Jeongguk about it.”

You mumble a noise of agreement, your heart suddenly heavy in your chest. There’s a numbness that creeps from there, in the pit of darkness that now consumes the light that had once resided within you. You cut the ingredients they had you absentmindedly, Soomi’s words ringing in your head.

Even when dinner is set, memories and laughter have been cast across the table and everyone’s had their fill, you’re still mulling over Soomi’s advice. She was right, you hadn’t thought about the toll a child would take on the connection between you and Jeongguk. Or on you. You’d only focused on the happy little moments that would await you as new parents instead of the rough, ugly parts of the journey. There was a sudden panic gripping your soul instead of the familiar warmth you’d become accustomed to when you thought about having a child. Jeongguk had sensed there was something off with you too, because when you climbed into the sheets that night he’d wrapped you in a tight embrace, carefully resting your head upon his upper arm.

“Care to share what’s on your mind?” His voice is a whisper in the dead of the night, breath warming your forehead.

“It's nothing really. Just thinking about… the whole pregnancy thing?”

His body tenses. “Oh... The doctor said we’re fine though. Both healthy and fertile. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“No. Not that,” you retort, twisting in his arms. You tear yourself away, rising upright, the blanket falling from your bare shoulders. Jeongguk stares at you, eyes wide open and full of alarm. “Jeongguk.” There’s a tremor in your voice. “Do you — do you really think we’re ready for kids? I still work under a shitty manager. We live in a small apartment. You’re — you’re working so hard it’s practically killing you. We’re not even married—”

“Quit your job.” He says it firmly, rising up beside you. There’s a fire in his eyes that riles you further into the panic that’s overwhelming you.

“What are you even suggesting? I quit my job? So what? You can continue working yourself to the bone? Are you even thinking?”

“I am!” He slams back. “You hate your job, so quit! You’re talented and skilled and you deserve to work at a company that appreciates you! And where is this coming from? You don’t want to have kids anymore?” His voice faltering at the end, pandering out into the air that’s filled with tension.

“No. I — I want to Jeongguk. I just don’t know if this is the right time. There’s so much that’s not settled, we shouldn’t be straining ourselves any further.” Your throat is thick and your head is hot, unshed tears brimming within your eyes. He reaches out for your hand, rough large palms enclosing your own. You can’t look at him, staring hard at the wall instead, trying to swallow your sadness. “Maybe I’m not getting pregnant for a reason.”

“Don’t say that.” His voice cracks. “If you want to wait, that’s fine. Just know that you’re the only person I ever want to take that step with. Whether we’re married or not. I love you. I love you so much. I don’t want you to be sad about something that’s meant to make you happy. We can stop trying.” There’s a hand on your cheek, his thumb wiping away the hot tears that you weren't even aware of. When you finally look up, there’s pain glimmering behind his brown eyes and it shatters your heart into thousands of little shards.

He holds you as you cry, rocking your huddled figure lightly. His shirt is drenched in your sorrow, a growing wet stain spreading over his chest. There are hiccups stuck in your throat when you finally draw away, eyes hot and puffy. There’s matching wet stains on his own red cheeks. You brush them away, staring into his red eyes, hoping he can feel how sorry you are for giving him hope that his deepest desire could come true and then snatching it right back,

When he kisses you, there’s silent tears still streaming down your cheeks. It’s slow, gentle. The words that are stuck in his throat are communicated through this kiss. Like he needs you to know it’s okay. Your worries are valid and even though he’s hurt, he still loves you. Still needs you. And you kiss him back with the same intent, your heart aching in your chest because Jeongguk had been so happy when you’d agreed to start a family with him. A life that wasn’t just about the two of you as individuals, it would have been about the two of you as one. But that’s no longer a reality, merely a castle in the sky now.

The pillow is soft beneath the dip of your head. Jeongguk’s above you and you hold onto him like you’re afraid you might lose him, your mouths still attached. You’re terrified this might push him away, that he might find someone else that can give him what he really wants. Someone who will trust his intentions instead of doubting him.

He pulls away, eyes glossy, a look in them that tells you he can feel the fear in your kiss, the desperation to keep him closer. “I’m here.” His voice is thick, still heavy with heartbreak. “You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.”

The urge to prove that makes your fingertips twitch. You’re yanking at the hem of his shirt, your heartbeat pulsing in your throat. It comes off immediately, followed by his shorts and your own t-shirt. He’s not hard but there’s a sizable bulge nudging against your clothed core. You pull him down, revelling in the way he caves you in, and kiss him until he’s grinding himself against you, little gasps spilling from his swollen lips. Your fingers are tangled in his long hair and even though you’re hurting your heart settles. This is yours. No matter what happens, this belongs to you.

Jeongguk must feel the same because he’s coaxing a dark bruise on your neck, the need to display his love for you making his tongue swoop across your sensitive skin, teeth nipping when a rush of desire slithers down his back. His hips move harder now and he’s leaking in his boxers, the damp stain of the fabric matching the one on your panties. The air still feels heavy, but your joined pants now fill it. There’s a hand on your hip, pinning you down to the bed and at some point Jeongguk had kicked the sheets to the floor. You’re at his mercy, taking the rough grind of his crotch against your own. There’s a sting on your clit from the material rubbing you the wrong way, so you gently push him off, slipping off your underwear. The cool air hits your slick folds, making you feel more exposed and vulnerable than you’ve ever felt before. He doesn’t say anything, just slips down your body, draping your legs over his shoulder, his warmth breath grazing your thighs.

The first lick of his tongue against you has your toes curling. You watch him spread you apart, firm tongue dipping into hole, toying with it before sliding back up to your clit. When his lips latch onto it, sucking it hard, your back lurches off the bed. The noises that fall from your mouth spur him on, tongue moving quickly now, alternating between precise quick licks and slower ones, tongue spread against your pussy. You take it, staring at him as he devours you. The usual fire you’d become accustomed to during sex doused from his eyes, the brown softer now, almost calm. But there’s an urgency in the way he eats you out, your slick coating his lips, as his tongue flicks against your clit.

It’s hard not to grind against his face, but you’re still holding yourself back, despite the rush of pleasure that’s creeping into every muscle, every nerve and piling in your gut. When his tongue swirls around your clit, before dragging down your folds and dips inside you hard, that resolve you were desperately clinging on snaps. You roll your hips against his mouth, back arched and your head pushing into the pillows. The knot in your gut is tight. You’re close, eyes closing involuntarily and your thighs twitching under the firm grasp of his hands. Jeongguk can tell because his tongue is against your clit once more, flicking hard, coaxing the orgasm out of you. You want to push his head away, the need to snap your legs closed making your thighs tense but he doesn’t care, fucking your clit with his mouth until you unravel beneath him.

It hits you slowly and then all at once. A build-up that has your squirming beneath him, trying to get away, then your muscles lock. Mouth wide open and words falling from your throat that you can’t decipher because there’s blood rushing in your ears. Your walls clench around nothing and you wish he’d slipped in a finger or two but then you glance down, Jeongguk still lapping at your pussy with vigour, his eyes on you and your whole body just dissolves. Your bones feel like they’re melting into each other, eyelids heavy but you force them open and lock them onto his. When you finally muster the strength, you push his head away and drag him up to you, slotting your lips together. He tastes like you, and you’re fully aware of his erection, the bulge grazing against your sensitive nub.

He cups one of your breasts as you kiss, his thumb brushing against your hard nipple. You jolt, a sudden rush of wetness gushing from your cunt. Your hands trail down his body without thought, gingerly digging into the band of his boxers but then he’s pulling away, mouth latching onto your nipple and your brain short wires for a second. The drag of his tongue against your chest makes your gut feel strange, another knot settling despite the orgasm you had moments ago.

He comes up, mouth shiny with your slick and your chest heaving beneath him as he stares at you in a way that makes your heart seize. “I love you too.” It hits you then, what you’d been repeating when he was going down on you. You said you loved him. And it’s true - you do. You love him so much it hurts sometimes. It’s the most overwhelming, intense emotion you’d ever felt. It makes your heart feel like it’s going to explode sometimes. And even though you’re not sure you can give Jeongguk what he wants anymore, those words lessen the worry and guilt you feel. He loves you. That’s all that matters.

His boxers find their way to the ground when your lips latch onto each other again and then he’s guiding himself into you, groaning against your mouth as you squeeze down on him. It’s slow, his hips rising and falling onto yours in a steady rhythm, cock stretching you out. It feels so good and you let go now, moaning into his ear as your hands settle on his hips urging him into you, faster and harder. Jeongguk complies, your name stuck on his lips as he fucks you into the mattress, the curve in his stomach telling him he’s close. You clench around him, loving the way Jeongguk feels buried inside you, filling you up like no one else can. You’re tight and wet and he can’t help but lift your hips, grasping the back of your thighs so that he can pound into you the way he wants too. He’s hitting deeper now, the curve of his cock rubbing against that part of you that has delicious tingles vibrating through your body. It’s heady, the way he fucks you. You can feel him twitching, thrusts in precise, the need to cum driving his hips. When he moves to pull away, you push his hips back down.

“I — oh,” He says, breathless when you squeeze around him, ribbed velvet walls clenching on his veiny cock. “I’m close.”

“Inside,” you murmur, “Cum inside.”

He stares at you, eyes glimmering. But his hips come slamming back down hard and he fucks you like he never wants to leave your cunt. It’s exactly what you want and you’re not worried. After three months of trying what could happen now? So you let him have his way with you, his harsh thrusts bruising your hips. His own falter against you, warm cum spilling inside. Jeongguk’s panting beside your ear, your sweaty skin sticking together. His hair is dishevelled, ruined and damp. But there’s a soft smile on his face and when he pulls out, cum making your thighs feel grimy. He pecks your nose gently. It makes your heart calm. Then he rises, moving to the bathroom and returning with a wet cloth. He cleans you up in silence but it’s content, not tense. Your eyes are closed when he slips into bed again, the mattress dipping under the weight of his knee. He drags the sheets he’d plucked from the floor over your body and you burrow into his side, the thrumming of his heart in his chest a serene euphony to your ears. You fall asleep like this, the melancholy that was weighing over your heart temporarily subsided.

→

There’s a faint ding from your phone. You pick it up, sliding down the notification bar to see a reminder from your period app. You’re three days late. You choose to ignore it, tossing the phone back onto your desk because there’s a file you urgently need to complete. Seungmin’s been breathing down your neck about it. Coupled with the fact that Jeongguk’s birthday is next week and you’re still trying to plan his party out, your brain felt like it was about to combust. Your period is probably late because you were stressed. Jeongguk had been swamped with work too and after the mini holiday at the lake house you’d barely seen him. So obviously, it’s stress.

You leave the office late, putting down a reminder to book an appointment with your doctor in your notes app as you exit the building. You’d been mulling over going on birth control for a while now. It seemed like the most logical approach. Partially because you’d grown accustomed to feeling Jeongguk’s cum inside you and also because you thought it was better to wait a little bit until you were both more settled and ready for kids. Some part of you still longed to have them now but Soomi’s words haunted your thoughts every time the idea popped into your head. You had no doubt that you loved Jeongguk but the negatives of parenting heavily clouded over the pleasant scenarios you’d imagined.

The apartment is empty when you get home. You shower first and then head to the kitchen, your phone in your hand. There’s a text from Jeongguk telling you he’ll be late. He’s close to a promotion thanks to all his hard efforts even if it means you spend less and less time together. You settle on starting dinner, so that he’ll have something warm to eat when he comes home. He was notoriously bad at remembering to eat enough while working late.

When you’ve finished cooking, you settle into the couch, laptop open on some random show so that you have background noise as you eat. But it’s not enough to entertain you and you find yourself swiping through your phone. You scroll through Instagram feed, pausing over a picture of Yoona’s new-born. He’s a cute baby even with all the wrinkles and scrunched up face. His name is Jonghyun and Yoona hadn’t been able to stop talking about him. Baby this, baby that. It was cute, her unadulterated love for her child. Even when he puked over everything and refused to sleep.

Your heart feels heavy now, ears focused on the incessant ticking of the clock instead of the chattering of the actors on your screen. The memory of your first time taking a test comes stinging back hard. How nervous you were, how disappointed you felt when it was negative. It all seemed like wishful thinking now but something about it had you sitting upright, empty bowl discarded on the coffee table and your laptop nearly tipping onto the floor. You open the app again, stare at the three days’ late notification and then run to the bathroom.

The tests are still packed in the black paper bag. Your rummage through it, yanking out three in your trembling fingers tips. For some reason, it’s easier this time. You pee, dip them in the cup and leave them lying horizontally on the bathroom counter in what feels like seconds. Your heart pounds every step of the way. There’s no way you’re pregnant. It wouldn’t make any sense. Your legs jitter when you sit back onto the couch and everything feels like it’s going in slow motion. Or are you just moving really fast? You can’t tell, setting a timer on your phone before pressing your palm against your heart, trying to calm the drumming against your ribs. Time goes quickly and there’s a familiar buzzing signifying that your results are ready. You can’t walk. You don’t want to walk. It would be better not to know. But what’s the harm in knowing when you already know they’re negative. It’s just a confirmation. You’re not pregnant.

When you finally rise, your breath is shaky and your legs feel like logs as you drag yourself to the bathroom. The counter beckons you towards the tests, bright white light shining down upon them.

Two lines. On all three tests. Positive.

You can’t breathe. Your hands are shaking so much and suddenly the floor feels closer than it should. Your heart threatens to burst from your chest and there’s blood roaring in your head. You steady yourself against the sink, chest heaving beneath the loose shirt that you're sure belongs to Jeongguk. It feels surreal. The harsh light of your bathroom is hurting your eyes but you keep staring at the tests, the new information sinking in slowly. Suddenly you’re hyper-aware of your stomach, how the band of your underwear digs into the flesh of your hips. You can’t think about anything else because it hits you then. What those tests mean apart from the positive two lines, you keep blinking at.

Pregnant. You’re pregnant.

→

The first person you call isn't Jeongguk. It isn't your mother either or Yoona.

It's Soomi.

She picks up on the fourth ring, mumbling a hello that you struggle to hear over the sound of Bora whining in the background.

“Bora! Sit down!” Soomi’s not focused on your conversation yet. Her voice is tight, clear irritation radiating through her words. Something hits the floor and there’s a shrill echo of Bora’s cries ringing through the line. Soomi sighs heavily. “Give me a second. I’ll call you back.” And then the line goes dead.

Is that your future? Is that what you really want?

For some reason you’re crying. There’s a hot heaviness in your eyes that throbs dully in your skull, the coming of a headache. You wipe them away with the back of your hand, the lump in your throat making it hard for you to speak. Why did you even call Soomi in the first place? You can’t remember why the panic you’d felt had driven you to dialling her number. Especially when she planted that seed of doubt in your head in the first place.

When she rings again, you’re tempted to decline the call. Soomi would even question why you’re telling her first instead of your mother or Jeongguk. But you don’t know what else to do right now. You can’t just throw all the tests away and act like this isn’t happening. There’s a being developing inside you right now. A person that is both you and Jeongguk. And quite frankly you’re terrified.

“Hey, sorry for that. Bora’s started throwing tantrums now. I just had to talk to her.” She sounds exhausted.

You nod, realizing a second later she can’t see you. “Uh, yeah.” Your throat is clogged. “It’s fine, don't worry.”

“How are you then?” There’s a click of a door closing behind her.

“Um…” You can’t say it out loud, the words crawling back down your throat. Soomi’s quiet down the line, like she can feel the fear in your hesitation.

“Y/N? What’s going on? Are you alright?”

You still can say anything, a tremble in your fingers that you can’t control. “I’m…” She waits, patient, and you know her eyebrows are furrowed together like they usually do when she’s concerned.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just say it all at once? Rip it off like a bandage? You settle for that, forcing the rushed sentence out of your mouth. “I’m pregnant.”

“You’re what?” You open your mouth again but Soomi beats you to it. “You’re pregnant?” There’s an incredulity there like she’s still trying to process what you’d said. At least you are in the same boat.

“Yes,” You reply, finally stepping out of the bathroom. The tests are shoved far into the back of the cupboard. You’d taken care to store the boxes away too instead of dumping them into the trash. But now you long to sit, and the couch seems incredibly inviting. It’s weird to crawl under the blanket, knees curled into your stomach. There’s a life blossoming there. A whole life.

“Oh my god! Congratulations!” She’s practically vibrating down the line and her happiness has you pausing. Why is someone else more excited for your pregnancy than you? “How far along are you? Does Jeongguk know yet? I’m so happy for you!”

“...I don’t know how far along I am. I just found out.” Your voice is monotone in comparison to her bubbly questions. She catches on quickly, falling silent at the lack of joy in your tone.

“Oh. Are you alright? Weren’t you trying for kids?” Now she’s confused, hesitant to be happy when you’re not. The problem is, there’s a small part of you that’s elated. Finally, after all that time, here’s what you wanted. Handed to you on a silver platter. But you’re too wary of it all right now. There’s ominousness creeping into your beautiful vision of a family, staining the picture dark. What if this rips you apart? What if it makes you hate Jeongguk? What if this is the wrong time? What if you’re a shit mother? There’s too much worry looming over parenthood. And it’s sitting on your shoulders.

The tears reappear, dripping down your cheeks fast.

“We stopped,” You croak out.

“Oh.” Soomi’s silence leaves your head throbbing. You know why you called. For reassurance. Someone needs to tell you it’s going to be okay. Not Yoona. Not Jeongguk. Not your mother. Soomi was the only one who could provide the reassurance you desperately needed. “Y/N, are you happy?” She asks a heartbeat later, like she knows your thoughts.

You hiccup. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel or what to do.”

There’s a small hum from her lips. “Okay. How about you get a glass of water first. Anything you want to drink.” She’s right. Your hiccups keep interrupting her and they’re uncomfortable. You leave the phone on the couch, returning after you’d chugged some water. “You’re back,” She sounds relieved, sighing through the line. You mumble a sound of affirmation, digging your cold feet under the fluffy blanket. “Remember what I said about parenthood?”

“Yes.” Of course you do, you hadn’t forgotten a word she’d said.

“I know I mentioned all the negative things but I don’t want you to lose sight of all the little wonderful things. Having a child is both a blessing and a nightmare — and I know it sounds hypocritical of me to be talking about all the nice things that come with being a parent when I just had an argument with my daughter, but I promise you, there’s so many moments that you’ll cherish during this part of your life. It’ll change a lot, some for the worse, some for the better. But it’s worth it. So worth it.”

You stay silent, shuffling in the cushions. There’s an urge to touch your stomach and you give into it, feeling the warm skin beneath your palm that’s going to stretch out, making room for the child within you.

“You know,” Soomi continues, a waver in her voice. “I cried the first time Bora could walk without support from either of us. She wasn’t that big and I was so proud of her but it felt like my baby was getting too old already. And now I can hardly get her to sit down.” She laughs softly. The memory she’s shared warms you. You can see it now, the tiny little feet, the unsure steps. “You know that’s waiting for you, right? With Jeongguk’s energy, that kid will never be able to stay still.”

And then you’re smiling, an easy one that tugs at the corners of your mouth. The pads of your fingertips trail along your stomach. “He’ll be so happy,” You murmur. There’s not even a slight bump but you already feel different, now that you’re aware.

“I know he will. I saw him staring at all the kids when we were at the lake house. He really wanted this.”

You hum again, but the mention of the lake house makes you heart break. “I told him I wanted to stop trying then.”

“Really? Why? If I may ask.”

You want to say it’s because of her, but you bite your tongue. Soomi may be a bit harsh sometimes but she was a sweet person and didn’t need to have that held over her head. “Just rethought it.” You settle for that instead. “Wasn’t sure if I was ready for parenthood just yet.” She’s quiet, like she can tell it was because of her.

“Are you happy, Y/N?” She asks again, not addressing the elephant in the room

You pause to think about her question. Really think about it. Jeongguk would be ecstatic. Over the damn moon. Yoona’s been nudging you to join her in this next stage of life and your parents would be overjoyed too. And you? What are you feeling?

“I’m happy.” There’s a sense of surety there. No matter what happens, you longed for this just as much as Jeongguk has. It’s a blessing. Even if it’s hard at the end of it all, it’s worth it. “I’m really happy.”

Soomi’s voice has a lilt in it. “I’m glad for you. You know it’s going to be okay. Jeongguk loves you too much to ever let either of you go.”

“I know,” You mumble, gaze on the door. “Do me a favour, don’t tell anyone yet.”

“Of course! My mouth is shut. Call me if you need anything, love. I need to check on Bora before she puts herself in danger.”

“Hmm, alright. I’ll call. And thank you Soomi.” You’re warm all over, skin buzzing with an emotion you can decipher.

“Anytime. I need to run. If you need a good doctor, I can refer you to one!”

“Thanks, I’ll let you know. Bye Soomi.”

It settles in when the line cuts, the feeling in your bones seeping into every limb. You are pregnant. There’s a miniature version of you and Jeongguk sitting inside your uterus. Evidence of your devotion to each other. Your love. You can’t stop touching your stomach beneath the safety of the blanket, the sheer wonder of it all still lost on you. Then Jeongguk is pushing the door open, and your hand drops from your abdomen. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbow, tie loosely pulled from its knot and there’s a glow in his brown eyes. You haven't seen them shine like that in months.

He toes his shoes fast and then he’s launching into the living room, a grin on his face that reaches your heart.

“Hello, my love. What’s got you so happy?" You tentatively ask. Jeongguk doesn’t reply, instead tackling you into the couch, firm arms wrapping around you. He holds you tight, this face buried into the hollow of your neck. You can feel his smile on your skin and your heart keeps fluttering. A wild butterfly caged in your chest.

“I got the promotion.” The alcohol reaches your nose then, remnants of his celebration still on his tongue. The words you want to share dance on your own tongue. But you keep them in check. Not now. You know when you’ll tell him. Soon, but not now.

“Really! I’m so proud of you. You deserve it, baby. You’ve worked hard.” You say into the tuft of his dark hair. He sighs against you, heart drumming against your chest. Content. “Let me warm your dinner. I’ll spoil you tonight.”

“I can think of other ways you can spoil me,” He grins, shifting so he can cup your chin, gently pulling you closer. You give in because you long to kiss him too. Have the surety of his warm mouth against yours, feel that love echo when you slip your tongue against his. He tastes like soju. But you brush it off, it’s probably not bad for the baby anyway. It’s not like you can tell him to stop and google whether this is safe for you. He’ll ask and you’re not ready to share this with him just yet. So you let Jeongguk push you onto the couch, mouth still latched onto yours. It’s easy to let go, lose yourself in his touch for a bit. Because it’s Jeongguk. The love of your life, the person who keeps you grounded, your best friend, and now the father of your child.

→

Soomi keeps an eye out for you at the party. She quietly orders virgins with you and the only person who seems to catch on is Jimin who keeps staring at her stomach with fear. But no one else is concerned, too busy exchanging stories over the table, their glasses clinking every once in a while. Taehyung keeps the liquor flowing, racking up a bill that’s going to bite your wallet. But you’ll let it slide for tonight — after all it is Jeongguk’s birthday.

The man in question is glowing, a never ending smile gracing his cheeks. The promotion at work came at the perfect time. He’s on a high, radiating pure unadulterated happiness. His joy spills over onto you and you can’t help but stay beside his side all night, eyes locked on his bright face. The laughter of your friends feeds the love blossoming in your heart and it positively combusts with joy when that sheepish smile creeps onto his face when everyone sings to him ‘happy birthday’. You leave the restaurant late; stories still being shared in the parking lot despite your friends halfway into their cars. Soomi sends you a wink as you carry Jeongguk towards the car and you catch the suspicious glance Jimin sends the two of you. They’ll have an interesting discussion later, you bet.

Jeongguk lets you drive, still woozy from the shots Taehyung urged down his throat. He doesn’t question that you hadn’t drank anything. You’d had a few bouts of morning sickness since you’d found out so avoiding alcohol in this situation was logical. Jeongguk thinks you’ve got a stomach bug. He accepted that explanation so easily, not remembering the last time you’d had unprotected sex. The ride home is content and quiet, Jeongguk cuddled within himself in that passenger seat. He’s beyond happy and it’s evident in the fond gentle glances he’s giving you. You pretend to not notice them, vibrating hard in your seat from the nerves wreaking havoc in your guts. Your fingers tap incessantly on the driving wheel, an accompaniment to the drumming of your heart.

You’ll tell him tonight.

The package is already at home, hidden in your underwear drawer. It's simple enough. A white ribbon tied neatly over the thin velvet black box and within it a positive pregnancy test, placed neatly inside a plastic zip bag, the cap on the tip on.

You’d thought about how you wanted to tell him over and over again but this seemed like the best idea. It’s not extravagant or dramatic and yet, for some reason you’re still so nervous.

When you kill the engine, your car now nearly slotted in the underground packing of your apartment, the silence is replaced by your rapid heartbeat. You turn to find Jeongguk staring at you, doe like eyes glimmering in the harsh glow on the parking lot lights. His mouth is turned upwards, cheeks flush from the alcohol in his system. Before you can say anything, distract yourself from your nerves, Jeongguk’s tugging off his seatbelt and leaning into your space, mouth moving onto yours. It’s a soft kiss, one that has you buzzing like you’re a teenager again, falling in love for the first time. He keeps a warm palm on the nape of your neck, deft fingers gently pressing into the sensitive skin there. You can’t help but curve into his caress, moaning quietly against his warm lips. When he pulls away you move to chase for it. He stops you by pecking your nose, leaving you blinking at him, hands clenched in your lap.

“Thank you for tonight. I love you,” Jeongguk murmurs against your forehead, fingers weaving towards your own seatbelt. He unbuckles you quickly, hands now on your waist as he urges you into his lap. You clamber on top of him, mindful of the gears that hit your knees. It takes a while to settle but when you do Jeongguk holds you to his chest, fingers running along your side. Your heartbeat is in your stomach now and you long to blurt it out. He catches your mouth against his before you can say anything, tongue coaxing you open. You kiss because if you try and reply to his statement now you’ll end up crying. You don’t know how long to stay like this, making out in the basement of your apartment building like teenagers trying to hide from prying eyes. It’s nice until your hip starts to hurt from the uncomfortable position.

“Let’s go inside. I have a present for you.” You’re breathless in his arms, mouth wet from his lips against you. Jeongguk quirks an eye at that, shifting so that his crotch brushes against your stomach.

“Really? What kind of present?” He asks it slyly, hips rolling against you. You reward his bluntness with a smack on his shoulder, before opening the car door. “Ow! You can’t hit me, it’s my birthday.”

“Hurry up or you won’t get your present,” you reply, slipping off of his lap.

“Not far.” He whines, but he gets out anyway, shutting the door behind him.

“I don’t care.” You say, smiling back at him. “It’s a good one I promise.”

The questions start there and Jeongguk doesn’t stray far from you as you head towards your apartment. He keeps a palm pressed against the small of your back, pulling away only to give you space to open the door. Inside he latches himself onto you again, dropping kisses along your neck until you gently push him on to the couch.

“Wait here. Let me get the present.” He stares after your retreating figure when you head for the bedroom, curiosity making him finally stay silent. You return with a small black box and his mind starts guessing. A tie? The box isn’t big enough. A toy? What toy is that small? A pen? Why would you give him a pen?

He accepts the box cautiously, fingers immediately tugging at the white ribbon knot. He can feel your eyes on him as his fingers close around the lid. It makes him pause, gaze flickering towards your face because he isn’t sure what this is at all. Then he yanks the lid off, vision landing on the object within the box.

It takes him a moment to realise it’s a pregnancy test.

“Are you serious?” His hands are quivering but he plucks up the plastic bag that contains it anyway, dropping the box to the ground. His eyes are on you and there’s tears welling within your own. Jeongguk’s head feels hot and his chest is too small, heart widely slamming into his ribs. “Are you actually serious? You’re pregnant? You’re pregnant!” The smile that breaks onto his face makes you laugh with joy and all you can do is nod your head. Jeongguk moves so fast from the couch, wrapping his arms around in. Your chests are pressed against each other, hearts communicating through rapid thumping. He keeps murmuring it against your ear, like he can’t believe just yet.

“You’re actually pregnant. Oh my god. We’re having a baby.” He’s trembling in your arms and when he pulls away to look at you, you hold him steady. There’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes your heart stop and then he’s kissing you. It’s soft and sweet but there’s an urgency with every press of his lips against yours, one that you feel too. You long to have him closer, fingertips already digging into the fabric of his shirt. It should be off on the floor right now. Jeongguk groans into your mouth when your hands slip underneath the fabric. He’s practically levitating right now. It’s impossible for him to get any happier. And then a thought hits him so hard he’s left breathless when he pulls away from your lips.

“I’m going to be a father? Holy shit — I — you’re actually pregnant?”

“Yes, Jeongguk.” The shock on his face makes you giddy. You gesture to the test still clutched in his hand. “I really am.” You catch the wonder that whispers in his eyes when he glances at the test once more. And then he’s on you, hands settling on your waist as he kisses you like you’re oxygen and he’s drowning. His erection keeps nudging against your stomach and the movement has you dripping instantly, panties sticking to your core. When you naturally roll against him, you don’t expect Jeongguk to pull away.

“What? What’s wrong?” He swipes his tongue over his rose lips, looking abashed. His eyes are still glued to your stomach.

“Shit — sorry. I didn’t mean to rub against you like that.”

You blink at him. Hard. Was the man who literally fucked a baby into you apologising for rubbing his erection against you? Really?

“Jeongguk,” You begin, attempting to sound patient. “Are you not going to sleep with me this whole pregnancy?”

“Can we do that though? Have sex? It won’t put the baby at risk?” He’s genuinely concerned, a hand coming out to brush against your tummy.

“I’ll be fine, Jeongguk. The baby’s only five weeks anyway.”

“You sure?” The warmth of his hand against you has you radiating, glowing bright like a star in the middle of the dark galaxy. You try not to preen under his attention, but the concern colouring his honey eyes makes your heart ache with fondness.

“Yes, I’ll be fine.” You try to hide that emotion with a nonchalant roll of your eyes. He notes it with a gentle scoff, the palm on your hand stills though.

The firmness in his voice makes your cheeks warm. But then he glances at you again. “You’re not tired? You don’t want to sleep?”

“Jeongguk, I suggest you take advantage of my libido before it disappears. You’ve already put a baby in me, what’s stopping you now?” He must read the irritation in your voice well because he stops being coy and settles a hand on your hip to pull you closer.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” He murmurs against your ear before easily lifting you up. The grin tugging at your lips is blissful, the feeling of Jeongguk’s sturdy arms guiding you to your bedroom licking at the flame in your core. You cling onto him, giggling in time with his slippers faintly pattering against the floorboards. You don’t know how he flicks on the lights in the room but he does so without letting you go, the smile curving at his own lips pressed against your chest.

Your back touches the mattress gently, the act tender in itself. The look Jeongguk gives you makes your heart flutter, a soft warmth building in your gut has his hands wander across along your body, pausing at your waist which he clutches firmly. He fits perfectly between your spread legs, the silk dress you'd donned for tonight hitched up your thighs, revealing spans of skin that Jeongguk keeps staring at. His eyes roam over your body, glittering in a manner that makes your fingers itch to close the distance between your bodies. You can't help but stare at back him, a stupid grin on your lips because this is really all yours. He's yours and you love him. And he loves being yours too. You can tell it by the way Jeongguk leans down, slotting his lips against yours, his body pressed firmly into you. The twitch of his clothed cock against your core has you groaning into his mouth, the sparks that journey across your skin from every slight touch he gives your body intoxicating. Your hands are on him a beat later, slipping into his soft brown curls. When your nails scrap against the nape of his neck Jeongguk shivers, a minute movement that has his hips driving harder into yours. The grip that lands on your bare thighs triggers an arch in your back, lining you perfectly against him. There hasn't been an exchange of words yet but you can feel it in every roll of his hips, in the way his lips slip down to your neck, painting purple and blue marks along your skin and in the way he glances at you when he finally pulls away, petal lips bruised and a glaze in his honey eyes that makes you want to do dangerous things.

"I love you." There's another kiss on your lips. His hands are in your underwear, fingertips toying with your wet folds. "I love you so much. So much." Another kiss and an expert flick against your clit. You think your heart might burst. It feels too full of adoration, bruising your ribs with every erratic thump inside of your chest. You just tug him closer, directing his mouth towards yours again and kissing him hard enough to leave a print of your ardour for him on his lips for eternity.

"I love you too." You mumble it into the air, the sentence soft and warm, containing all the adoration you feel towards him. Jeongguk beams, brighter than the sun. Your love for him blinds you but you don't mind it. No one has ever made you as happy as Jeongguk has. No one has ever made you feel like Jeongguk has. You love him so much that it hurts. And you know he loves you just as much too.

It comes easy, the way your clothes fall off your body as he kisses you. Suddenly your bare bodies in a bed, the desperation in your touches heady. He leaves you breathless when he finally settles himself between your legs. The first lick of his tongue against your dripping core has your hands balling into the sheets. Jeongguk doesn't wait for you to register the feeling of his mouth against your cunt. He hikes your legs over his shoulders, tongue slipping deep into your cunt. You jolt from the intrusion but Jeongguk pins you down, grip firm as he forces you to take every deft swipe of his tongue against your pussy. He knows how to unravel you, and he does so quickly, not holding back anything as he licks you open, groaning deep into your cunt. It's the little sighs that do you in, the mumbles of praise that he murmurs into you that spark something in your gut.

"Jeongguk." It's hitting you fast, a tremble in your thighs that you can't control spreading warmth throughout your body.

He hums, parting from your cunt with his mouth covered in your need. It gives you a moment to breathe, but then he plants a kiss on your folds and you feel your brain melt into mush. "You taste so good," Jeongguk murmurs, before swirling his tongue around your clit - a skilled motion that elicits a rush of slick from your core. "So fucking good," he reiterates, despite you protesting squirms, the hands on your hip unforgiving. And then his tongue is back inside of you, fucking you open with a vigour that leaves you heady. There's nothing that can stop your fingers slipping into his hair, nails scraping his scalp with how hard you grip at the locks on his head. Your hips rise subconsciously, grinding his face into your cunt and slipping his tongue deeper and deeper until you feel it snap. He reads your body too well, the heave in your chest enough indication that your high is hitting you. And just before it does, his tongue is on your clit, licking at the sensitive bud the way he knows you like it. It happens all at once, a heat bursting through your system and your thighs suddenly begging to be clamped shut. But Jeongguk keeps them open, laving at your core as you shudder beneath him, vision blank and your nerves tingling with pleasure.

The waves barely subside, but you force your eyes to focus, the gentle press of Jeongguk's lips on your cunt making your toes curl. When you glance down, gaze floating over Jeongguk finally departing from between your legs, your heart bursts. His face is flushed rouge, a pretty tint over his golden skin, and his curls are tumbling into his face mussed from your fingertips racking through his hair. Even from here you can see how hard he is, straining against the fabric of his boxers, the print of his cock reigniting a fire in your gut that blazes through your nerves straight to your core. He notes the direction of your gaze with a loop-sided grin before he's descending onto you, trapping you within his sturdy arms. His mouth is on yours a second later, tongue slipping against yours. The groan that melts down your throat has your heart thumping, and your hands travel down his back, yanking him down until his crotch is pressed right against your own. You like the way you taste on his tongue, and it shows by how you kiss him, lips eager for more and more. The moment wraps itself around you, needs forgotten for a moment as you learn each other through your kisses all over again. It leaves you breathless, a tiny sigh drifting from your mouth when you finally part, and the look in Jeongguk's dark eyes evoking a thrill through your system. It's the instinctual thrust of his hips into yours that has the mood changing, like a trigger has been set off because suddenly you're needy, pawing at him until he gives in. You can feel him against you, twitching into your heat, the damp spot building on the fabric a result of both of your desires. There's a chaste kiss along your neck, Jeongguk slowly working his hips into you, but the pulse inside of your core demands for something more. Your fingers tug at the band of his underwear, impatient as you push down the fabric. He just laughs, mouth pressed into the hollow of your neck, hips raised to assist in your ministrations. It takes some wiggling before they're off, discarded someone off the edge of the bed.

"Aren't you needy — oh fuck." Your hand is wrapped around his length; the twists you give around him shallow but you know him well enough to know where to apply pressure. It doesn't take long from Jeongguk to crumble into you, the breaths against your neck shallow and quick and his cock leaking all over your hand. He feels good like this, thick and velvet-like against your palm, a weight you ache to have in your mouth. But then your walls flutter, clenching on nothing as Jeongguk groans into your shoulder, his hips pistoning into your hand and your brain can focus on nothing but having him inside of you, filling you up like he should.

"Baby." There's a careful edge to his tones. The profanity he whispers a moment later melts into the heat of your skin. "Keep doing that and I'll cum." He feels taunt above you, like a string on the verge of snapping.

"You could do that inside of me," you retort, twisting your hips up. It's only a slight brush but Jeongguk is swearing into the heat of the air. His hands are on the back of your thighs in an instant, hoisting you up to meet him as he settles himself between your legs, the head of his cock nudging against your core.

"You're a menace," Jeongguk retorts, pressing his length into you. His eyes are on your core, marvelling at how wet you are, practically drenching his cock in your slick. It doesn't help that you look gorgeous like this underneath him, his hands wandering back to your waist as he tugs you closer. The soft smile gracing your lips makes his heart ache. He pushes in without really thinking it over, the urge to fill you up overriding any other thought in his brain. The gasp you let out urges his hips to hit deeper, the feeling of your tight wet walls fluttering around his length euphoric. He loves every part of you but your cunt has a special place in his heart if he's being honest with himself. You fit around him perfectly, like you were made for him. Even after years of being with him it still takes him breath away, how easy you welcome his length into you, the noises you make when he's inside you. The first time you'd had sex Jeongguk had nearly cried. He'd never reached his climax that quick and it hit him hard, slamming into his body as he fucked you into the mattress. For some reason he feels the same way now, balls tight with his release, begging to coat your walls in his cum. He tries not to stare at your tummy but it's instinctual.

You sigh when he bottoms out, the curve of your bum pressed neatly against his balls. "But you love me."

Jeongguk scoffs lightly, rocking his hips hard. "I don't."

You ignore the butterflies that erupt in your stomach because you know he's lying. The look in his eyes as he gazes at your stomach says something else entirely.

"You do," you retort, raising your hips to match his thrusts. "You love me." The curve of his cock rubs right where you need him most, but it's not the hard pounding you expected from him tonight. He's going uncharacteristically slow, the drag inside of you steady but not fierce. Like he's purposely prolonging this, hanging onto the feeling of your cunt wrapped around him. There's a distance in his eyes that makes you clench your walls on purpose, hard enough to yank Jeongguk back into reality. He responds with a hard thrust, one that coaxes a low moan from your lips. He hums low, hips still driving you into the sheets.

"Yeah I do." It makes your heart swoop, the heat that envelopes your body intoxicating.

The sound of you meeting fills the room, your slick dripping over Jeongguk's length. For a moment you watch how he disappears inside of you. It leaves a tingle travelling through your body, to see how well you take his cock, how he groans deep every time he buries himself inside of you. But then your eyes flicker back to Jeongguk and his unwavering gaze on your stomach. Even the hands settled on your waist are ginger, gripping you like you're fragile. It's only then do you remember the concerns he'd voiced.

"You can go harder," you murmur, the tremor in your voice a result of how good he's fucking you despite the gradual pace he'd opted for.

Jeongguk hums, still driving his cock deep into you. He's not really concerned about that. His hips move slow because he's still marvelling at the fact that you're pregnant. That the child developing inside of you belongs to the both of you. That he fucked a baby into you. It sets off something oddly primal in his brain, dragging up an urge that he has to bite down on. That's why he goes slow, savouring every whimper and sigh that falls from your bruised lips. Etching the way your body feels under him, pliant to his desires. How you stare at him with that soft look clouding your gaze. He doesn't want this to end. Even with the pressure in his balls tight, he drags it out, drowning the words that threaten to torrent from his heart with the sound of your meeting. It echoes in the room, colouring the air with your mutual love for one another. He lets it wrap around him, revels in it. But then you're wrapping an arm around him and tugging him down. His face lands into your shoulder and his palms get lost in the sheets. He feels your legs straddle around his waist, drawing him deeper and deeper and Jeongguk feels his resolve crumble into dust.

"Oh." The little exclamation fluxes into the crook of your neck, lost into the heat of your skin. It ignites something in your gut and your hips rise to meet his quickening pace. There's an edge lingering behind your eyes and you want it so bad. Jeongguk hears the desperation in the way you whine his name and he moves with purpose now, pounding you hard into the sheets mercilessly. It's what you want and Jeongguk intends to give you everything and anything you desire. Especially now that you're the mother of his child.

His high hits him quick, a fast sweet thing that zips down his spine has your walls cling around his length, holding him in like you need him there. There's nothing that can stop it, but you join him a beat later, your bodies moulding into each other, space nonexistence as your rapid heartbeats fall into sync. You feel him twitch inside of you, cum pooling around your entrance, and your brain short circuits for a moment. There's a warmth ebbing from your core, echoing deep inside of your bones and the added feeling of your boyfriend caging you in his arms, his cum slipping from your core, unlocks something in your brain. It makes your heart fall into ease too, and you can't help but cling onto the security of his being even when he's mumbling about cleaning the two of you up in your ear.

"No.” The protest falls from your pouty lips, a neediness colouring your voice that Jeongguk can’t help but smile at. The glitter of his brown eyes leaves you swooning, but not as hard as the quick peck he delivers on your check a second later.

"Please," He reasons, voice gentle. "You're gonna feel gross tomorrow."

Your legs are reluctant but they fall away regardless. "Be quick."

He plants another faint kiss to your lips again before rising. "Of course I will."

→

“You stink.”

Jeongguk laughs at the grimace painting your features as he dives into you, smashing your nose straight into the pit of his armpit. He reeks, skin still slightly sticky from putting his muscles to work in the gym downstairs. Normally, he would prefer to drive out to the gym he’d signed a membership for. He’d usually shower there before heading home. However, since the news of the new addition to your family Jeongguk had been adamant on staying near home. Though the equipment in your building was arbitrary Jeongguk refused to go out further than needed. Even when you desperately wanted him to. For instance, right at this very moment. You can feel the revulsion forming at the back of your throat as he nuzzles you into his arms. You gag on it, shoving him off harshly. You can’t even muster a playful smile when he stares at you in confusion, face downcast.

“What’s wrong?” He says it innocently, oblivious to the stench that’s emitting from him. Normally, you don’t mind Jeongguk post work-out must. But something in your brain has registered his current sweat drenched body as the vilest thing on Earth.

“You stink,” You reiterate, shifting away from him. Jeongguk pouts, sniffing at the tight fabric that stretches over his firm muscles.

“That bad?”

“Like a pig. Please go shower.” You snap, snatching up the bag of salt and vinegar chips you’d left behind in you flee from Jeongguk. Usually you didn’t like the way this flavour lingered in your mouth, yet somehow with the past couple of days you’d demolished more packets of them than you’d ever eaten in a single month in your entire life.

“That is not the food a pregnant woman should be eating,” He comments, voice coloured with disdain. He attempts to pluck it out of your hands, but the sharp glare you target at him halts his movements immediately.

“Don’t talk to me when you smell like that.”

He frowns, raising a hand to rake through the damp brown curls sticking to his scalp. “You hate the way salt and vinegar crisps smell. Why the hell are you eating them at this rate?”

“Why are you not in the shower yet?” The eyebrow raised directly at him pokes at his composed temperament.

“Y/N. Apart from those, what else have you eaten today?” When you don’t answer Jeongguk evades your space once again. You cough back the bile that’s coating your throat.

“We had breakfast together, you know what I ate.” He doesn’t take the retort well, sighing heavily as he blinks at you.

“Breakfast was hours ago. What did you eat in between that? I want a serious answer.” There’s enough gravity in his words to make you mumble out what he’s asking to hear.

“....Bread.”

“Bread?” He repeats it like he can’t believe it, tone coloured with incredulity. “Bread. You just ate bread. Was there anything on the bread? Tell me it was a sandwich at least.”

“No. Just plain bread.”

The sigh he emits now is loud and full of frustration. “Bread? Y/N, you’re pregnant. You can’t just eat plain bread that’s not enough for you.”

“I know,” You snap back, a harshness in your voice that even surprises you. It makes Jeongguk pause for a moment, but you’re already too worked up to care about backtracking your thoughts. “I know that I should be eating nutritional stuff Jeongguk but I can’t. I literally can’t. I feel like I’m going to throw up over everything. It’s so hard to force food down my throat when I feel like it’s going to come right back up. So stop getting at me for that. I’m trying, I really am. Just let me be.”

He tilts his head, the perturbation in his eyes tangible. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you that lingers, Jeongguk’s gaze unwavering. It makes you feel uncomfortable, and you squirm away subconsciously. The minute moment has a dark cloud settling over Jeongguk’s features.

“I’m sorry,” He doesn’t make a move to kiss or hug you - which you’re both grateful for and irked at. It’s a peculiar feeling, repulsing your partner. “I get that your sensitive right now. I’m just worried. You know tomorrow is our first prenatal visit. You’re still taking the vitamins right?”

“I am,” You affirm, sticking your hand back into the packet of crisps. “And stop worrying. You’re making me nervous.”

He sighs again, rubbing the nape of his neck with unease. In one fluid motion he’s off the couch, taking the atrocious smell with him. “I’m sorry again. I’ll go shower. Please, just consider eating something that isn’t salt and vinegar chips while I’m gone. And drink some water. Please? For me?” The pleading look he gives you, doe eyes wide, plasters itself into your brain. You mumble a noise of agreement, waiting impatiently for him to walk away. He does so with one last long look at you, his eyes holding a miscellany of emotions that you can’t decipher. You don’t want to either, but the feeling they give you creeps through your chest, sneaking its way into your heart.

When he's gone, you dig into your crisps unabashedly, yet for some reason the taste of them leaves a film of disgust in your mouth. You try to chug it away with a bottle of water but it lingers, provoking a wave of nausea that has you taking deep breaths. The show playing on the television is monetarily forgotten as you wander into the kitchen in search of something to calm your unsettled stomach. The cluster of bananas sitting in your fruit basket catch your eyes simply because the vision of Jeongguk staring at you with that imploring gaze is still vivid in your memory. He’s right though - you’re not eating enough healthy food to sustain the current exertion your body is undergoing. Making a whole human being is incredibly difficult and it was taking a huge toll on your body. From the constant nausea to the back pain and sudden scent sensitivity, you were feeling overwhelmed. Your moods had suffered too, your patience running thin with Jeongguk more often than not. The lethargy your body feels seeps negativity into every aspect of your life - and it didn’t help that Seungmin was still breathing down your neck asking for reports left right and centre like you had nothing better to do with your time. There had been a couple of close calls at the office this week we’re you’d nearly snapped at him, but you’d managed to hold yourself back in time. However, all those repressed emotions are following you, reappearing in the way you flare up at Jeongguk for the slightest mistake. It’s starting to eat away at you, this guilt that you’re treating him like this despite your boyfriend trying his best to provide you with everything and anything you wanted. That’s why you grab one of the bananas, swiftly peeling it open.

But then the smell hits you, quick and hard leaving no room for you to force back the vomit that nearly spews from your mouth. You barely make it to the toilet in time, head held over the bowl as you hurl out the obscene amount of carbs you’d consumed for the day.

You don’t even hear his footsteps but the sudden hard gently rubbing on your back isn’t unwelcome. He murmurs softly over the sound of you heaving, crouching next to your huddle figure, worry violently radiating from him. It’s a few more retches before it passes, you mouth bitter with the remnants of salt and vinegar crisps. It makes your eyes sting, and suddenly your throat is clogged with a devastating despondency that swallows you whole. You don’t even feel like you can move from the toilet, holding your head in your hands as you choke back tears. You feel discomfort everywhere, and this is merely the beginning of your pregnancy. Seven weeks in and a part of you is ready to quit it all already.

Jeongguk coaxes your head up, gently urging a glass of water into your hands that you use to rinse your mouth out. The distress in his eyes doesn’t help quell any of the negative thoughts swimming in your brain.

“Are you okay?” He murmurs, voice soft in the echo of your bathroom. His hair is still damp from his shower, golden skin on display - evidence he didn’t have enough time to tug a shirt over his head before he came to your aid.

“Obviously not,” You bite back, and then immediately regret it when you see the fall on his face. “I don’t think I’ll throw up again, but I really want to lie down.” He nods, evidently glad you’ve given him something to work with.

“C’mere.” You make a motion at the mess in the toilet but he brushes it off. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean it.” His arms lift you up easily, gingerly guiding you to the couch where he nestles you in the soft cocoon of pillows and blankets, fretting incessantly over whether you truly feel comfortable or not. And then, he’s gone. You hear the sound of the toilet being scrubbed even though you’re in the living room and your nausea rears its ugly head for a split second. It’s a dangerous lurch in your stomach that thankfully subsides when you close your eyes and breath slow. Jeongguk walks in on this, shirt soaked with the droplets of water slipping from his curls and his phone in his hand. You don’t see it but he’s staring hard at his phone, eyes swiftly reading through a series of web-pages, bottom lip caught between his teeth. He wishes he could just text his mom the question plaguing his brain but he can’t. You’d both decided to hold back the pregnancy announcement until the first ultrasound. But in situations like this Jeongguk wishes that his mother knew. Or anyone he could trust for advice really. He feels like he’s waddling blindly through deep waters, constantly making the wrong decisions because you keep snapping at him. Even now that you’re reposed on the couch, face lax, he can still see how dull your skin is. It makes his heart ache. For the duration of your pregnancy the morning sickness had been present - but it had never been this bad. Coupled with your other symptoms, Jeongguk truly feels like the worst partner in the world for not being able to alleviate somewhat of your troubles.

That’s why he heads to the kitchen with purposeful steps, snatching up the half peeled banana you’d deposited on the counter before fleeing for the bathroom and dumping it into the trash. You blink your eyes open to the sudden sound of Jeongguk knocking pots onto the stove and rummaging deep through the fridge.

“What are you doing?” You croak, voice weak over the droning of the television.

Jeongguk twists to face you, a tiny smile on his lips but his eyes are nervous. He asks it anyway because if he does nothing he’ll feel useless. “How do you feel about ginger tea?”

“I’m listening,” You say. The smile on your lips is tired, but the fact that it’s there is enough confirmation to ease the worry that had become a permanent fixture in Jeongguk’s heart.

→

His jittering is getting on your nerves. Jeongguk’s always been one to move around to alleviate his anxiety but by doing so at this very moment, he’s adding to yours. You already feel sick to your stomach, the candescene of the clinic lights sparking an ache in your eyes. Instinctively, you reach out from your perch in the leather chair, giving his jerky knee a firm but tight squeeze. The movement halts immediately and from your peripheral gaze you note the sheepish smile that spreads across your boyfriend’s lips.

“Sorry,” he whispers into the sterile air. Hospitals always have that sharp alcohol smell and you’re quickly coming to the conclusion that you don’t like that smell at all.

“It’s okay,” you return. “You’re just making me nervous, babe.”

He’s got your hand in his a second later. “I know. I’m sorry. I just can’t believe this is real.”

You huff. “Well you better start believing. This is very much real.” Maybe that’s what’s causing the mini freak-out in your mind. The gravity of the situation was slowly starting to dawn on you. Maybe it was the smell of the clinic, or maybe it was the equipment surrounding both of you. But it was all becoming very real that this was happening.

Jeongguk seems to have noted the flash of panic flooding your features but before you can say anything the door clicks open and a sharp lady with pin straight hair walks in.

“Good morning, Mr and Mrs Jeon. Apologies for keeping you waiting. I hope everything is alright.” She moves quickly, dropping a chart on the counter beside the wall before turning to face the both of you. You quirk an eyebrow at how she addresses you but Jeongguk doesn’t make a comment, instead quickly rising to give her a small bow.

“Morning Doctor Lee, everything’s alright. Just some morning sickness and fatigue but otherwise she’s doing okay.”

She grants you a small glance, the smile on her face gentle. “That’s to be expected. There’s some remedies I can suggest but for the most part you just have to work through it. Otherwise, we can get into the first ultrasound.”

You give her a nod, hand still intertwined with Jeongguk’s and a strange knot tight in your throat.

“Alright, go ahead and lie down for me,” Lee says, dimming the lights in the room. She raises your shirt up when you’ve gotten comfortable, handing you a paper sheet to prevent the gel from staining your clothes. Your exposed belly in the faint glow of the monitor screen ticks of something in your head. But you bury that feeling away, focusing on the feeling of Jeongguk’s callused palm against your own.

“Okay, just undo your pants and tug them down for me.” You do as instructed, wiggling in the seat until the curve of your stomach is out for all to see. You can feel Jeongguk’s eyes on it, the sudden squeeze he bestows your hand a clear indicator.

“The gel is warmed but it still might be a little bit uncomfortable,” Lee continues. She’s right, but you let her spread it around anyway, the pounding in your heart frantic. “So we’re going to do a simple heart-tracing,” she says as she presses the probe into your skin. “This is just a general check on how your baby is developing.” You nod again, ignoring the deft hard press of the probe and she shifts it around

“See if you look here.” Your eyes snap right to the monitor, mind trying to decipher the blobs on the screen into a person growing inside of you. “There’s your baby’s arm, and right there is the head and neck. They’re developing very well. Look there’s the rib cage, and there’s the spine.”

“Wow,” Jeongguk murmurs into the silence of the room.

Lee laughs, pressing the probe in a little deeper. “There’s the heart, and if I go down… Yes, there’s the stomach. And right there is your umbilical cord. Everything seems to be coming along well. Oh, look!” You can’t even rip your gaze away from the screen if you wanted to. “There’s the baby moving, see how the arm is raising?”

You can see it, a tiny slight movement that you don’t even register happening within you. Your baby is moving. Maybe you let out a little gasp, maybe your grip on Jeongguk’s hand goes taunt, but suddenly this seems real with a clarity you’ve never felt before.

“Alright, so I’m seeing no anomalies. So we’ll do a crown-rump length measurement. This will give us a possible date of birth for your baby. But from the information you gave you’re thinking you’re around nine weeks along, right?”

“Yes.” Your voice feels far from your body.

“Okay, let me just take a look at the rest of your body. I can see that your bladder is full, that’s good,” she says. You zone out then, lost in the sudden violent realisation that you’re growing a life inside of you. It feels slightly terrifying in the faint blue glow of the room. And it worsens when Jeongguk starts asking questions, mumbling about your food aversions and diet. Doctor Lee responds in that calm collected tone of her’s, giving him suggestions that you see him eagerly internalise. Yet you don’t hear much of what she says, too busy staring at the image on the monitor.

“Would you like me to take a picture?” Lee suddenly states. “We can’t determine gender at this stage but I could take a few pictures of the baby and have them printed out for you.”

“Yes,” you say. “We’d like that.”

Lee nods, the softness of her gaze enough to ground you for a moment. “Let me just move this around here. We’d like one with the baby up and in a good position.” You can’t tell if Jeongguk is breathing beside you, his sudden silence vaguely concerning. But this his fingertips feather down your side, reassuring, a reminder that he’s here for you.

“Alright then, that sums up what we’re able to do for your first ultrasound. I just need to check some of the reports and then I’ll get back to you. Here’s some towels so you can clean yourself up.” She leaves you buttoning your pants up, the lights back on and a weight sitting heavy on your shoulders.

“Our kid is gorgeous.” Jeongguk breaks the silence with that, tugging your hand into his once more.

“We haven’t even really seen him, Jeongguk,” you return. There’s a delirious smile pulling at your lips. Yes, you’re worried about this new challenge. Parenthood truly did not feel like a joke, but every time you look at Jeongguk. See the bright adoration blooming in his eyes, that fear can’t help but subside. It virtually disappears when he brushes a kiss against your forehead, plucking up the tissues you’d used to wipe the gel off.

“Him? How do you know our baby is a boy, hmm?” There’s the thud as the tissues hit the bottom of the garbage can. You shift to help him clean up but Jeongguk stops you with a firm palm against your belly, honey eyes staring at you with tenderness.

“I don’t know,” you return. “I think it’s a boy. But I don’t really care. I just want a healthy baby.”

He flicks your nose fondly. “I feel the same way, my love. Everything seems to be going well so far. I just need you to eat a little better. You heard what Doctor Lee said.”

“I know,” you groan. “But the baby hates everything! It’s not my fault I’m not hungry.”

“I know, my love. But you still need to eat. Where do you want to go for lunch today? I’m thinking Paul’s.” Jeongguk sweeps the rest of the mess up, ever so diligent and nit-picky. “I’m craving pasta.”

“Fine, but don’t expect me to finish anything. Those portions are always too —”

“Mr Jeon?” The door swings open, Lee striding in with an envelope and her chart tucked underneath her white coat. “Here’s the ultrasound photo. As for the estimation date, we’re thinking around May 17th. If you have any other questions we can discuss them now.”

“I think we’re clear of any questions right now,” Jeongguk responds, gently taking the envelope from her outstretched hand. “Thank you, Doctor Lee.”

“Alright, let me know if anything happens or if any questions arise,” she says. “I’ll see you at your next appointment.” She sends you off with a smile, and the worry that claws at your insides ebbs away the moment your feet leave her office.

It’s in the car that you rip open the envelope. It feels weird, holding the picture in your hands. Because that’s your baby. That’s something you and Jeongguk made together. A life forming inside of you. Jeongguk leans into your space, a hand on your thigh as your both stare at the picture together, attempting to pinpoint where the arms and legs are forming. It’s surreal, knowing that this was happening inside of you right now.

“That’s our baby,” you whisper. Jeongguk grins, planting a warm kiss on your check.

“Yeah, that’s our baby.”

→

Your bump grows steadily over the course of your pregnancy. Suddenly waist bands are too tight, jeans don’t clasp shut, and you’re left rummaging through your closet for anything that sits loose enough to alleviate your discomfort. Jeongguk’s sweatpants swiftly migrate to your closet becoming a favourite item for you to don until one day Soomi insists on taking you maternity shopping. It’s not your favourite activity, to be honest. The harsh lights in the changing rooms illuminate your drastically changing body, bouncing off the roundness of your belly. It’s surreal, to see yourself alter like this, a totally new person staring back at you from the reflection. But you amuse her regardless, not minding the loose fitted clothes she swamps over you with that delicate smile of hers.

You and Jeongguk tell your parents first, during one late afternoon lunch, before announcing the news to everyone else you know. There’s hesitation in the initial reception, expected comments at the lack of your matrimony being muttered amongst your grandparents and parents. But that quickly dissipates when you hand them a picture of a recent ultrasound. They fall in love immediately, cooing and simpering with adoration for the child growing within you. It’s around then that the glow sneaks around, your skin vibrant and the smile on your lips unwavering. But the pregnancy isn’t perfect, there are still bouts of morning sickness and a growing pain at the base of your back that refuse to disappear despite advice for others and consistent care from Jeongguk himself. You manage through it though, a strange feeling blossoming in your chest whenever he places an absentminded palm against your belly, like a security blanket shielding you away from the bitter coldness of the world.

You can’t help but think about that feeling as you stare yourself in the mirror, sans clothes, tummy spreading far from body. With your first trimester essentially over, the changes in your body have become more rapid. It’s been odd to glance down and find a swell there instead of your usual tummy with its rolls and softness. Your fingertips give in, poking gently at the skin there. It’s still soft — just different, a firmness that tugs at your heart meeting your fingers. You should have gotten into the shower ages ago, a meeting awaiting your morning at the office. Jeongguk’s up too, the faint padding of his slippers echoing through the walls. You don’t realise how close he’s drawing until the door slides open, brown curls and wide eyes appearing from the sudden gap. There’s no need to hide, his gaze falling on your bare skin gently.

“Are you going to get in any day soon or is your body more fascinating to look at?” He’s annoyed. Despite your insistence Jeongguk doesn’t like the idea of you going into a stressful environment that you hate on most days, especially when his new position covers both of you. Seungmin doesn’t know yet too, and your manager is still a pain in the ass on good days. He doesn't want that around you when your body is preoccupied with creating life. But the idea of wasting away on the couch watching reruns of sitcoms and shunning away the comfort foods you once enjoyed sounds abhorrent. You’d rather be in the office while you can, and your colleagues are wonderful to — better company than a television show.

“You don’t think my body is fascinating?” He sees your pout in the mirror, shifting forward with a small smile on his own lips.

“I never said that.” The words wrap around you the same time his arms do, strong and firm but delicate in how he handles you. His lips meet your neck a beat later, the adoration they leave sinking straight into your heart. It warms you from head to toe, burning when his hands fall to your belly instinctively. “It’s more than fascinating.”

You hum, rocking into his chest. “Is it?” Your eyes don’t leave the mirror, engraving this image into the base of your mind where it will live with a clarity as clear as the sky. Jeongguk on the other hand is too busy looking at you, eyes trained on your face like he’s staring at a constellation hanging high in the velvet of the night. His hands travel, dropping low to settling at your hips. His own brushes against you, want evident through the loose fabric of his shorts.

“Do you want me to show you how fascinating it is?”

“I'm gonna be late for work, Jeongguk.”

“You don’t have to go at all,” he returns, a gentle press of his lips on your neck accompanying the statement.

“And why would I want to do that?” You retort, but your resolve is weak, body already pliant to the gentle shift of him as he draws you close.

“You don’t have to want to not go – I can just make you.”

“Jeon–”

His wandering hand is now at your chest, the fingertips that trail along your skin are delicate and yet they leave blazes of heat in their wake. “Please,” he burns the word into your skin, lips leaving a soft mark. “Just for today.” You feel it then, the crumble of your resolution. It happens the moment his hand slips low, right between your legs, grazing soft the way you like it. His other hand stays at your chest, squeezing soft before he catches your nipple between his fingertips. A precise flick, and the press of his tongue on your neck has you succumbing faster than the shore does to the hungry tide.

“Jeon–” He makes you watch, fingers landing right where you need them, sure deft presses against the nerves there. Your thighs are drawn taunt already, heightened by the sensitivity of your newfound body. It catches you gaze in the mirror, that bump, peaking forward as he works your open with his fingers. You can feel his muscles shift, ready to spin you, lift you up onto the counter like he’s done before and find his way between your legs. But you decide then, that you don’t want that just yet.

“Wait – wait, Jeongguk. Wait, I want something else first.” He halts, pauses with a curiosity in his dark gaze that makes you nervous for some reason. In baited silence you turn, shuffling away from him and sinking on your knees in a fluid motion.

“You don’t have to –” He starts, but you don’t let him finish.

“But I want to you.”

“Baby.” It’s laced with apprehension, but his cock is hard at the sight of you like this, pliant and on your knees, a pretty picture burned into his memory. “Your knees,” Jeongguk mumbles, gripping the counter when your mouth his dick through the fabric of his shorts. “You’re going to be in pain.”

“You know I like pain, Jeongguk.” And then your tugging the fabric down, sighing when he springs out, hard and needy. He’s already leaking, tip red and wet. He wants to say something, but it vanishes when you swallow him whole, head bumping into the back of your perfect throat with an evil ease. The groan that falls from his mouth and unearthly, painting the air warm. He’s forgotten how good your mouth is, how eager you work your tongue around him, fast and quick over delicate nerves that fall victim to your ministrations quick. He’s not normally this fast in reaching his edge, but the sight of you, naked and full in the mirror plague the back of his mind. It shouldn’t be hot but that fact that you’re carrying his child does something to base part of Jeongguk’s brain that he can’t put into words. It’s what drives his hips forward, motions muted because he doesn’t want to overwhelm you. But you don’t care, forcing more of his length down your throat until you gag, lips glistening bright under the bathroom lights.

“Baby,” Jeongguk mumbles, his hand reaching to pull you off his cock. “Baby – please – gonna cum if you don’t stop.”

You pull off with an obscene wet pop, licking your lips sinfully. “But that’s what I want.” You see him twitch, length dripping wet.

“No,” Jeongguk whines. “Not when I wanna cum in you.”

“Really?” He doesn’t even know why you’re surprised.

“Yes,” he answers anyway. “Really.” You’re pulled from the ground softly, and spun to face the mirror with care. His clothes hit the ground then, firm tan arms wrapping around you. They bend you forward, rest your hands onto the counter so you have support when he sinks down behind you, nudging your legs open with purpose.

“Thought you wanted to – oh fuck.” Jeongguk hums at that, tongue slipping right between your folds. He licks you open with a fierceness that has your knees shaking, deft movements filled with urgency. It sparks that heat in your gut, allows to spread fast through your body as his face burrows deep between your legs. His hands hold you still though, carefully protecting your belly against the bathroom counter. You can’t focus on anything but the feeling of his tongue sliding in deep, coaxing your walls apart eagerly. When he finally parts from your cunt you’ve forgetting how to breathe, forehead pressed against the cool counter and your lungs heaving.

“Good girl,” Jeongguk comments, dropping a swift kiss on your core. “Wet like this just for me, right?”

You sigh, a tiny noise of agreement. “Just for you.”

Jeongguk doesn’t comment, gripping you hard as he rises again, cock nudging right against your cunt with ease. He doesn’t move though, hands coming to gently lift your head. He forces you to look, honey eyes coloured dark even in the glimmer of the lights. His fingers journey along your features, quietly claiming the skin they touch.

“All of this, only for me, right?”

“All for you,” you immediately comply, hips shifting back. You want him so bad it hurts.

He pauses at your belly, settling at the base of it, swell cupped in his hand. “Only for me.” You don’t reply at first, because it feels like something Jeongguk is saying to himself. But then he looks at you, waiting, the grip on your body firm and unforgiving.

“Yours.” It’s whispered into the morning, like a secret of the night instead. Jeongguk smiles, that bright grin you’ve grown to love feeding the fire that burns fast within you.

“Mine,” he brands the word into your skin with a kiss on your neck. “Forever?”

“Forever.”

He buries himself deep them, splitting you open with one sure thrust that coaxes a moan from the back of throat. It melts into the air, walls already adjusting to his length. You can feel the slick coating your inner thighs, tainting the base of his crotch and dripping down his length. You sway, but Jeongguk holds you up, keep your gaze focused on the mirror as his hips draw away, before returning back with a force that catches your tongue between your teeth. He fucks you hard with a need you’ve never felt before, a purpose driving his hips forward until you feel your body given way, the sound of your meeting resounding through the room, hard and fast and wet. And yet his hands hold you together carefully, delicate with your fragility but firm like he needs you to know something. You think you do, and this side of him is both pleasant and terrifying. Nobody has ever touched you like this before, fucked you open like this before. But then again Jeongguk did say only him. And he meant it, judging from how his hand snakes to your cunt, landing right where you need him as if he’s memorised your body, engraved parts of him into his brain forever. It feels like he wants you to do the same, with how hard his hips drive forward, moaning low in your ear as his body tenses. You’re close too, but not there yet. Jeongguk can feel that, knows that tremor in your thighs is not enough. So he bites it back, holds that drop in his gut as he moulds your body into his, thrusts deep and slow.

“God – Jeon – J-Jeongguk – I can’t – can’t–” You look gorgeous like this, head lolling back and your hips shift to meet him.

“You can,” his fingers move faster, determined. “Be good for me, hmm?”

“But–” It appears faster than you’d like, a violent flash that pulls from within as Jeongguk unravels you. You can still feel him, buried deep and throbbing hard against your walls. Your legs want to give in but Jeongguk holds you up, forces you through it with shallow bucks of his hips against your heat, groaning low when your walls tighten around his length. He falls then, right into the heat of his want, spilling deep inside of you with choked whine and a kiss against your shoulder. It feels long and like it happens in a blink at the same time, but even as he stills you can feel him inside you, twitching around the pool of cum dripping from your cunt.

There’s another kiss on your shoulder as Jeongguk slowly pulls himself out. His cum follows quick, slipping from your cunt with is. You note how he watches it, how his fingers twitch with the instinct to stuff it back inside. You can’t help but roll your eyes. That was something you did when you were trying and there’s already proof of that effort right in your belly. He moves to plant another kiss though, right on your cheek while his hands sneak down to fulfil their desire. You halt them with a gentleness.

“I need to shower, Jeongguk.” The comment produces a pout on his lips. You kiss it away. “You have work too, babes. Get in with me.” He complies, still insistently drifting his hands downwards. A simple man honestly. With very simple needs.

→

With Jeongguk’s new position and your new predicament changes have rapidly happened. The search for a bigger apartment commenced right after your birthday announcement. At first, you didn’t find it necessary to uproot your whole life from your current apartment, with its quaint location and scattered memories. But Jeongguk wasn’t thinking about that, mind already focused on the future. He wanted a better district, closer to primary schools and day cares with stellar reputation. It was mildly unnerving, to see him come back from work, tie loose and his cheeks flushed from walking up the hill to your home with a list of new places they should go to, recommended by his colleagues. You’d asked around too, and slowly seeing one or two new places jumped from five to ten and eventually thirteen. All of them were disappointing in some way; either Jeongguk or you weren’t satisfied with the garden space, or he found the baby’s room to cramped, or the apartment too close to the main roads. Or the furnishing would not be adequate enough for the rent the landlord was charging. He also wanted benefits, perhaps a gym in the apartment complex or space to build one for himself in a private home. It quickly became apparent to you that Jeongguk wasn’t just looking for a new space, but rather the perfect forever home for him and his family.

Family.

A word you’ve slowly become accustomed to saying in your head. Jeongguk was your partner, and for the most part your family – but this, the baby in your belly. That was your family. A child that belongs to you as much as they belong to Jeongguk. It’s a foreign concept, but your heart swells in anticipation for it every time Jeongguk comes home for work, exhausted by lightening up the second his eyes fall on you and your stomach. It deepens during your doctor’s appointments, quietly observing the attentiveness Jeongguk directs to those meetings, how he notes down every bit of advice the doctors suggest. And its blooms when you begin find copies of parentings books around the house. You’d bought a few of your own for your journey but the shiny novel labelled: ‘Parenting Guide: For New Fathers’ sitting on your kitchen counter does something to you. Jeongguk wanted this more than he let on, and the fact that he was willing to give it up when you felt reluctant shows just how much he loves and cares for you. It feels like a blessing that everything aligned in its own way, perhaps drawn into your life by the desires of your boyfriend and partially by your longing for them too.

You’re lucky enough to find the perfect place thanks to Seokjin. A modern high-rise with the perks Jeongguk wants and enough room for your family to blossom, plus a playground space for your baby to grow in. It’s an arm and a leg to afford but Jeongguk was adamant to provide, and in the back of your head you were already thinking of side-things you can do to support your devoted lover. You move in towards the beginning of January, your previous lease drawing to an end at the perfect time. The new year is ushered in with new furniture and kisses in empty rooms, your sweaters stretching hard over your growing tummy. The journey feels both long and short, marked by moments with your mother, friends and Jeongguk and most importantly by yourself. Hours spent in front of the mirror observing your body change and transform into something new – something strong enough to create life within. Perhaps it’s always been that, yet seeing it occur right before your eyes has been astounding. Jeongguk keeps a steady eye on you, a weight lifting off his shoulders when you finally hand in your resignation letter. Seungmin is surprised, but he stares at your stomach with grudgingness that makes you feel sick.

(And you are the moment you get home, even with the first trimester over).

“Women,” he had muttered under his breathe. “Good for nothing but having babies and abandoning work.”

At first you’d wanted to ignore it, have your final day in the office be a pleasant calm one. Your co-workers were pretty nice, albeit occasionally annoying and deriving too much gratification in gossip but they were nice. Yet how could you, when the source of your stress and anxiety had the nerve to speak to you like that.

“You’re a real fucking piece of shit, you know.” And just like that Seungmin had shut-up, narrowed eyes staring at you in disbelief. “What the fuck have I ever done to you? My work has always been excellent unlike the subpar shit you usually get from everyone here. And yet you’ve been nothing but an annoying piece of shit to me and half your employees here. I don’t know who made you like this but I suggest you leave that shit at the door when you walk in – or else you’ll be dealing with more than just an angry pregnant lady. I’ve heard some pretty interesting harassment lawsuits have been springing up.”

He hadn’t said anything, mouth agape as you’d gotten up, your bag tight in your arms. “Learn to fucking respect the people you work with, or else someone will teach you that lesson.”

You’d stormed out, passing quick goodbyes as your stomach swayed with dread. It had taken more from you than you’d expected but it trepidation had passed as quick as your head hitting toilet the second you’d gotten home. Jeongguk considered buying you a cake just for that, and you’d told him to shut-up. But you could feel like pride and relief in the hug hid given you after you’d told him, and that was all that truly mattered in the grand scheme of things. Not life-sucking leeches like Seungmin.

→

You never really wanted a baby shower. It just felt so overwhelming and attention-seeking to demand that everyone in your life pays mind to you and the baby you were growing, but as pregnancy went on, Yoona and Soomi couldn’t help but insist, taking on the burden of planning it. Jeongguk has helped too, picky over the food and colour co-ordinations to the point where Yoona is considering never talking to him again.

“He’s going to be a nightmare when you plan your wedding,” she says it over a mouthful of rice, swiping through flower arrangement pictures. “Why the hell does he know the difference between gold and rose-gold I can’t even get my husband to figure out two different shades of blue.”

You’d shrugged, the smile on your lips small. “He really likes art, maybe that’s why.”

“A designer’s eye,” Yoona comments, sweeping over the apartment. “I knew they was no way you were responsible for this. Remember when you wanted to paint your apartment walls orange… I’m so glad you met him.”

“Hey! Orange is a really nice colour, it’s very warm and welcoming.”

“Orange is gross and gives people migraines – who have you ever seen purposefully paint their home in the shade of bright orange?” The quirk of her eyebrow makes you laugh, but your still adamant like always.

“It could have been me; I could have been the first.”

“And the last if anyone was smart enough. How’s the baby room coming along.”

You’re up in an instant, partially weighed by the new heaviness in your stomach and chest. “Wanna see? Jeongguk did most of it.” She nods, following you through your new home to the room right beside yours. It opens up to reveal a wide room, painted a pretty pastel yellow, tiny birds and flower wreathes lining the walls. Jeongguk had done it himself, along with the images of Bambi placed on opposing walls. It was his favourite Disney movie after all, and if he aimed on converting your child into loving it too you don’t mind. The crib is adorned with pillow and plushies, carefully picked out for their softness, along with a faded blue blanket that belonged to Jeongguk. His mother had kept it, somewhat pristine for its age and former use. The rest of the room was filled with paraphernalia; a rocking chair given by Namjoon, an assortment of toys partially handed over by Seokjin as his kids have aged and pretty star mobile swaying over the crib.

Yoona’s delight is evident in her smile, padding around the room with the movement of something you can only describe as mother-like. “I could give you baby clothes by the way – Jonghyun is growing so fast and I don’t know what to do with them.”

“That would be nice, thank you.”

“You’re okay with boy clothes? Wait – are you having a boy?”

You roll your eyes, moving forward into the room. “No, we decided to keep it a secret from ourselves, you know this I bet Jeongguk told you.” From the sly shift of her gaze he did. “Soomi is the only one who knows.”

“Why Soomi and why not me?” Yoona pouts, looking exactly like her high-school self.

“Because,” you respond, “Soomi can keep a secret and you can’t.” Her laugh is soft and good-natures because she knows it’s true too.

You fall into small silence, one that feels like memories. How you’d met this girl at the tender age of ten and kept her in your life as you’ve grown from young and wild teenager, confused and reckless adults to this. Mothers. A part of your future that you never truly saw coming.

“He did all of this?” Yoona supplies into the silence. You hum a noise of agreement. “He really cares.”

“He does.”

“I think that’s nice. It’s good you meet him that day – and if I recall when you called me right after you were already calling it the worst day of your life. Now look.”

And you do, fondness creeping forth from your chest. “It was the worst day of my life. He cost me an important job.”

“And he ended up giving you this,” Yoona returns, moving to slip her hand into yours. “A fair trade doesn’t you think.”

“Not a bad one at all,” you say. Your laughs are as light as the dawn sun just breaking beyond the horizon, coloured bright like the paint on the wall of your child’s future room.

“You’re gonna miss this,” Yoona says, squeezing your hand softly. “Once it’s all gone and everyday feels like a challenge… These moments you’re gonna miss them.”

“You miss being pregnant?”

“Maybe,” Yoona wonders out-loud, the look she gives you sneaky. “Jonghyun needs a sibling.”

“God please, give yourself a break. And besides,” You glance at your tummy. “He has a friend on the way.”

Another moment of silence falls, as you both stare at your future while your hand clings to your past and present.

“Remember what I said, at my baby shower?” Yoona whispers, her fingers gripping onto you.

“I remember.” It’s funny that she brings it up, considering what happened that night.

“Well… I’m happy we’re doing this together.” You pause, turning to face her, the smile on her hips matching yours.

“I’m happy we’re doing this together too.” And when she pulls you close for a hug, you remember the girl you once were, unsure and stumbling. It feels nice to know that Yoona was there for you then, and she’s here for you now.

(The shower is more than a success, filled with memories you’ll treasure for ever – and images of Taehyung in a diaper stamped into your memory forever. Yoona and Soomi were right through; having one gave you moments to remember and it felt warm, to be surrounded by the tender adoration and love for your family celebrating the start of something new.)

→

Your baby is late. It’s fitting actually, because that’s something you would do if you were about to be born. But it’s starting to get on your nerves. There’s an unspoken edge hanging in the room, amplified by the constant concerned looks Jeongguk has been throwing your way since your child decided to hang in your womb for a little longer. You’ve been trying to ignore it, but it’s hard when he’s checking up on you for contractions and when the hospital bag has been sitting beside the door for three whole days now. You drown his concern (and yours) with bowls of popcorn and a strange new-found interest in watching old romantic comedies. Jeongguk paces around the apartment while Bridget Jones gets locked in a Taiwan jail for attempted drug smuggling. It would have been a funny moment, expect Jeongguk’s pacing as has the baby moving too and now there’s a tiny foot trying to murder you from the inside. So much energy, an obvious mark of Jeongguk’s genes because any child of yours would definitely prefer to not move instead of brutalising their mother’s insides.

“You’re sure we shouldn’t just go in? Get a check-up or something?” Jeongguk heads peaks from the living-room door frame, locks tousled from the fretting of his fingertips.

“No,” you return, shoving a handful of popcorn in your mouth. It’s more for the effect rather than from enjoyment because for some reason it tastes weird. “We called already, babes. It’s okay, leave the baby alone they’re not ready for the world yet.”

A hard kick into your ribs and you immediately regret saying that. Maybe the baby should just come out – you’re ready for them to.

There’s a line of worry digging into his forehead. “Are you sure? I don’t like this – what if something’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” you say. And fortunately as far as you and the doctors know, nothing is. All the ultrasound and check-up appointments had confirmed that your baby was growing steadily and healthy inside of you. Maybe they just wanted to stay in for a little bit before meeting the word.

“Y/N…” He shifts into the room, beautiful face weighed with concern. “We can go just to check–”

“I’m not doing that Jeongguk.” It’s firm and a little mean but he was fussing like he was the one with a huge baby sitting on his bladder.

“Alright.” It’s a quiet resignation. He moulds into the pillow beside you, careful not to brush against your belly. During the early stages you didn’t mind but now there was a sensitivity that left you irritated and vexed if his hand lingered for longer that five seconds. But you can feel him staring at it and a part of you feels bad for dismissing his concerns. You reach out without a second thought, guiding his palm to the side of your tummy where the kicks echo through.

A huff drifts from his mouth, soft and wondrous. “Strong little girl,” he mumbles, following the pads of the kicks as they breach from under your skin.

“Girl? Did my mom tell you?”

“It’s definitely a girl. She’s stubborn for staying in there when I want to me her. Exactly like you.”

You flick his forehead, caught off guard by the awe sitting in his wide doe eyes. “Mean.”

“How?” Jeongguk whines, petal lips forming a pout. “Bubba, your Mom is calling me mean. Imagine – me!”

“And you called her stubborn.”

“I called you stubborn, she’s a by-product of you so it’s still really your fault.” That playful glint surfaces with an ease that shouldn’t leave you breathless. You hope she has his eyes

“Jeon, shut-up before I something terrible happens to you.”

“What’s the worst that could happen? It’s been six years of empty threats. If you wanted me gone you wouldn’t have had my kid.” You close your eyes in frustration, missing the very important airport scene that all romantic comedies tend to milk to the point of death. Jeongguk laughs at your misery, cooing with the baby kicks against your belly again, as if she’s laughing with him.

She. You’ve been avoiding any gender nouns since the baby shower but now that word seems fitting. A little girl. Your daughter.

“You’re both horrible people,” you return, idly dropping popcorn in your mouth.

Jeongguk gasps, as false as the acting displayed on your television. “Bubba did you hear that? Mom called you a horrible person and she was calling me mean!”

You whack his head, whining when the baby responds to his silly comment with a fist into your stomach. “God, Jeon stop. She gets hyper when you talk to her.”

“She?” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, still smiling.

“She,” you return.

He falls quiet, staring at your stomach with careful consideration before you see it click in his head. “Anyway, as I was saying –”

“Jeongguk!”

It’s too late and your girl is already awake, kicking and punching every which way like you’re not the sole thing keeping her alive. Jeongguk just giggles but moves with to resettle the pillows behind your back, alleviating what discomfort he can. The tension that gripped the air suddenly lets loose, a calmness filling your head as the evening draws to a close. You only get anxious when you have to slip into bed with him, stomach too far stretched out for you to attain any source of ease. Jeongguk’s already learned to read you well, giving you space and extra pillows where he can, the only thing you hold onto during the night his hand. Somehow, you fall asleep, until your body jerks you awake, a searing pain bleeding through your lower limbs. The ache eats through your grogginess, pulling you up and out of bed where you find with a sudden violent shock that your pyjama pants are soaked. And yet you never panic, fumbling for the lights and heading to the bathroom to pat yourself awake before the next wave of pain stings through.

You poke Jeongguk awake, his eyes snapping open with an urgency that startles you.

“What’s wrong?” His back rips from the mattress as he twists to take you in. “Are you hurt? Sore? Hungry?”

“None of those. I think my water just broke though.”

“Your – what? W-water? You think?” There’s a pause, and then Jeongguk is bounding from the bed like he’s being hunted down and chased. The paleness that sweeps over his face coaxes a giggle out of you, which is immediately washed away by another brief bout of pain.

“Shit,” the word is mumbled again and again under his breath as he runs through the house, collecting last minute things. In a moment he’s guiding you to the door with no shirt but shoes on, keys gripped tight in his hand. “Do we do the breathing thing now? And when was the last contraction? I need to time them.”

“Jeongguk,” you sigh, “Could I change first. I don’t think going to the hospital in Micky Mouse pyjamas is very fitting. And you need to put a shirt on.”

He freezes, spine straight and forehead beading with sweat. “S-sorry–shit. I’m just freaking out let me help you.”

“I’m freaking out too, Jeon. But let’s be calm about it right?”

“Right,” he returns. “But we seriously need to get to the hospital because of the baby comes right now I might faint.”

“Not helping. Jeongguk!”

“Yeah, of course. You put out the set you wanted in the first drawer right?”

“Second drawer. The light blue ones.”

He leaves you staring at the hard wooden floors of your home as he runs to get them, a slight sweat building down your back. The contractions are still spread out, not frequent or concerning just yet. You wanted to stay home for a little to be frank, but judging from the frazzled nature of Jeongguk’s movements you’d rather not ask your boyfriend to wait before rushing into the hospital. You watch him with fondness as he dresses you in the living-room, doe eyes wide with concern and stuck on your stomach. There’s a shirt over his head at least, and a change from his sleeping sweats into clean dark ones.

“Jeongguk,” you whisper.

“Yes?” It’s said with high-alert. “Does it hurt? Should we do the breathing–”

“Jeongguk,” you interrupt. “I think you need to calm down.”

“I am calm.”

You give him a look.

“Okay, I’m not calm,” Jeongguk returns. “But I’m also facing the very real fact that our baby has decided to come into the world in the middle of the night and you’re not freaking out at all which is making me very nervous.”

“I am,” you reply. “I’m just trying to contain it because I don’t want to make it worse. And while I love you Jeongguk I need you not to go crazy on me right now. And I thought you wanted to meet her, she’s decided to come today since you were complaining about it.”

He frowns, lips puckered in an exasperated pout. “Sorry–just–it’s just–I didn’t think it was going to be this scary.”

“It’s not. We just need to get the hospital and everything is going to be okay. So let’s focus on getting into the car first and then we can do the breathing practises, okay.”

Jeongguk stills, eyes drifting to your stomach. You see his shoulder fall lax, a sudden protectiveness lingering on his face. “Okay, let’s start with that.”

→

You were wrong. Very wrong. About everything. Staying at home for even twenty minutes more would have been the worst decision you had ever made because when you baby decided to come into the world, she decided she was coming in fast. Viciously fast. Maybe Jeongguk’s crazed concerned was warranted. Your contractions speed up and get worse during the brief trip to the hospital, and by the time you’re walking in past the doors you’re considered maiming Jeongguk so that he never gets the idea that you want a child again. The staff is incredibly helpful, leading you to your room and bed while Jeongguk calls his parents and yours. It feels both rushed and like everyone is taking their sweet time with you, as if there was a baby literally trying to rip its way out of you. The nurses take the noting of the times Jeongguk recorded, immediately pointing out that your contractions have speed up but not enough to head down to the theatre. Soomi arrives during the two hours they give you to settle, occasionally popping into the check your dilation and contractions.

Her hair is a mess and you can hear the faint sound of Jimin consoling Jeongguk in the hallway. Which is stupid because he’s not the one giving birth, you are.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Soomi starts, drawing near with a container of food. She notes the look of disdain you throw it’s in direction, quickly discards it on a nearby stool.

“Thinking about killing Jeongguk,” you respond. The epidural you requested is not kicking in fast enough.

She laughs, a bright thing that eases you edges a little. “I said the exact same thing when Bora decided to come.”

“Where is she?” You ask, forcing a smile when Jimin walks in the stupid spawn of evil who put you in this hospital bed.

“Taehyung’s. Seokjin and Yoongi are coming tomorrow morning. You think she’ll be here by then? Soomi inquires. You catch the slip of her tongue, a faint smile spreading on your lips as you mumble a greeting to Jimin.

“So it is a girl,” you comment. Jeongguk halts beside you. Maybe you won’t murder him just yet.

“W-well, I – I mean – well, yes it is.”

You’re glad Soomi was the only one who knew. A secret kept right until the last minute.

“I told you,” Jeongguk interjects. “I had a feeling.”

“And I’m feeling like ending your life, so maybe don’t talk right now.”

Jimin’s laughter is loud and unabashed, a direct contrast to the nervous blush staining Jeongguk’s cheeks.

“And now you know why I was scared of Soomi, right?” Jimin comments, ignoring the threatening glare his wife spears into his head. “Have you picked a name yet?”

“Not really,” you return, noticing Jeongguk’s sudden silence. You reach for his hand, heart aching with the fear you might have heart him. He responds automatically, clinging right back onto you. “But there are ideas. We’ll know when we see her.” You say the last sentence while staring at his face, mind already conjuring the image of your girl. Will she have his nose? His cherry cheeks? Will she smile like him? You hope she does – Jeongguk has the best smile in the world. He’s staring at your face like he’s wondering the same, gaze flicking over your features with careful consideration, a gentleness in his eyes that warms you heart even when your contractions decide to resurface, clamouring to be heard in the waves of pain that follow.

“Hey,” there’s a soft hand on your head. “You’ll be okay.” Jeongguk looks worried but you can see him trying to hide it, shoulder tense but his eyes soft.

You respond with a mumbled noise of agreement. “Yeah, when this baby gets the hell out of me. Can somebody call the nurse; my beeper isn’t working.”

Jimin does, leaving Soomi and Jeongguk to hang over you like grey clouds in the sky. You stop focusing on them, letting the murmurs of their encouragement fade into the distance as your focus settles on the bright luminescent hospital lights. Everything shifts into a state of surrealness, marked by moments of doctors prodding you and Jeongguk catching your gaze from his place at your side. Eventually you’re pushed into the theatre room, followed by a trembling Jeon Jeongguk in scrubs and a mask. Soomi and Jimin linger in the hallways while the only thing you hear is one stupid word.

You push until you think you’ve split into two, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand because he should go through this pain too. He doesn’t protest, mumbling words of comfort in your ear while you attempt to crack the bones in his hand.

“You’re doing so well – see look she’s almost here,” he murmurs, hand a grounding force when he strokes your cheek. “Just one more, my love. One more push.”

And then finally, finally, you hear that cry, the pressure in your hips waning. It’s immediately replaced by a quiet awe descending on your both. The nurses congratulate you, cleaning and swaddling your baby up before hastily placing her on your chest. If the tears on your face are from pain or love you wouldn’t know. They are one and the same right now, the splitting of your heart aching in your chest as the love for your child pours out. She’s got his nose. You see it instantly, her eyes are still shut, but you think she has his eyes too. She’s so adorable and too tiny for the world. You feel it then, the fierce need to protect her from anything and everything. Jeongguk’s drops down to your level too, enclosing you both like he feels it too. There’s no need for words to be said, the silent exchange of wonder between you two enough as your baby breaks into weak forlorn cry.

Her name is a quiet decision, vocalised by Jeongguk reaching to graze his thumb across her small cheek. “Hello Jieun-ie…. Hi baby... Don’t cry bubba, we’re here. Hmm, we’re here my love.”

→

Jieun is a blessing. There’s something about her gummy little smile and those chubby mochi like cheeks that makes your heart warm with adoration. She’s got Jeongguk’s eyes too, little stars trapped in her loving gaze. It’s almost addictive, how soft and plush she is in your arms. You want her to stay small and tiny forever, under the protective gaze of her mother. Even the slightest thought of anything negative happening to her, makes your heart seize with terror. You didn’t know it was possible to have space for this much love in your heart but Jieun’s carved out a place just for her, a home in your heart besides Jeongguk.

You try and think of that love and warmth during moments like this - when she’s up all night, screaming her lungs out. You’ve checked her diaper, nothing. You’ve gently directed her wailing mouth to your nipple, immediate rejection from her chubby hands. You’ve rocked her around the room for the past forty minutes, softly bouncing her against your hip, but to no avail either. She’s not hungry, or dirty or tired. You’re lost on how to ease her back to sleep and your patience is quickly wearing thin. The gurgle of spit on your shoulder isn’t making the situation any more tolerable either anyway.

“Why’s my baby crying,” Jeongguk coos from the bedroom, voice groggy with sleep. You’d left him in bed and taken Jieun out when she’d gotten fussy, afraid to rouse him. He’d picked up some long shift once again and it pained you to see him shuffle to work early in the morning with barely any sleep on his face.

“I’ve got her; you can go back to sleep.” You try to reassure him but the incredulous look he gives in you in response has your put together facade crumbling. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” It’s mumbled in the cool air of your apartment, the shame in your tone drawing him closer.

“Hungry?” He says, there’s a hand against the small of your back, warm from the bed he was wrapped in.

“No,” You whine back, briefly closing your eyes when Jieun lets out a particular ear splitting wail.

“Oh no, baby. Don’t cry. Daddy’s here.” You press her into his hands wordlessly, a heavy weight on your chest when you finally take a look at him. He looks like he’s been run over by a truck, skin pasty and flat from sleep. His hair sticks out haphazardly from his head, a wild brown mane that’s overdue for a cut. There’s shadows under his eyes and a deep line forming between his eyebrows. A consequence of how often he frowns at things. Like he’s doing at Jieun now, eyes barely open in the dim light filling your living room.

You subconsciously reach out, pressing the pad of your thumb between his brows and massaging until his gaze relaxes. Jeongguk looks at you perplexed, murmuring sweetly into Jieun’s ear while he stains his shirt with her snot.

“Premature wrinkles,” you softly mutter. His eyes flash and then he’s shaking his head, gaze focused on Jieun.

“Bubba, why do you keep crying? Hmm?” He lifts her up gently, sniffing her bottom while she protests violently. “You’re not dirty either.” He cradles her tenderly once again and for a brief moment, she closes her mouth, wide eyes on her daddy. Neither of you move, frozen by the hope that she's satiated. And then her lips purse tightly, followed by them falling open with a thundering wail.

“Jesus,” Jeongguk whispers, hands gently running along her back. “Where do you get your lungs from? Huh bubba?” Jieun responds with a miserable cry, grubby hands flailing through the air. You catch one for her marshmallow fists, bemused when she smacks your hand away.

“What is wrong with her?” You can’t help but ask, feeling like you’ve been thrown off a boat and left to drown. Parenting shouldn’t be this difficult — she’s only five months.

“Honestly?” Jeongguk's face seems down. “I don’t know either.” He rocks her softly and is rewarded by a softer cry. It takes a couple more minutes of bouncing from Jeongguk for her crying to wane away. You cautiously move closer, taking her hand into your own again, heart thumping when she grabs back at you tightly. You trail your thumb against her tiny fist, glancing up to find Jeongguk staring at your joint hands with a weird look in his eyes.

“Should we go to bed?” He asks, peering at you beneath his long brown bangs. Jieun hiccups at that, immediately falling silent when she nuzzles in her father’s neck. They have the same soft wavy brown hair, but Jieun’s is a little bit sparser, not as thick as her Daddy’s. You gently pry your hand away from hers as you nod, a pleased sigh coming from Jeongguk.

The bed is cool, sheets tipping towards the floor. There’s only a fraction of warmth against your skin when you finally crawl in, bones going soft at the touch of the mattress. Jeongguk makes a move to settle Jieun in her cradle but you shake your head, hand gesturing to the space beside you. He gets in without another word, gently resting her body between the two of you. Her breathing is even, eyes fluttering every other moment, teasing dreams you won’t ever hear and she won’t ever remember. You hope they’re good regardless.

You can’t help the wandering hand that settles on her plush little thigh, fingers grazing against the soft skin there. She’s so big already, it’s insane to see her grow so quickly right before your eyes. This was the girl who was kicking your stomach at every chance and sitting heavy on your bladder. The little baby that demanded you eat pickles with ice-cream and Cheetos dipped in chocolate syrup when she was in your belly. It’s surreal to see her sighing and gurgling outside of your body. It also makes you nervous, how little control you have over her environment. There’s no way you can ensure that she’s comfortable and safe at all times. Or happy and fulfilled. Which hurts like hell. This is your baby and you would do anything to protect her.

Maybe Jeongguk must feel the same because he pipes up, breaking the quiet of the night. “Are you worried? About Jieun?”

“Of course. Aren’t you?”

“All the damn time,” He mutters. You look up, eyes landing on the heavy gaze that’s directed at her sleeping face. “I’m so worried. What if we’re messing this up? I know we’ve barely started but sometimes it feels like too much. I don’t want to see her cry or you tired all the time. How do we know we’re doing the right thing? I want to make sure she’s stable and safe but there’s so much more to come and I’m going to mess up. I know I will.”

It’s a lot for you to digest. The way he blurts it out — it sounds like it’s been on his mind for a while now. It’s a stark contrast to the surety you were greeted with in the delivery room and the man who wanted this to happen in the first place. He doesn’t sound regretful, just terrified of the uncertainty of the future.

“Jeongguk,” You say, trying to wipe the exhaustion from your voice. He needs someone to lean on right now, and even if your heart feels heavy with the words he’s said, you’ll pretend to be that person anyway. “That’s okay. I’m going to mess up too. There’s no manual on how to do this. No one knows how to be a parent. Every child is different. We’re never going to be perfect. We just need to try our best at this.” You reach for his hand, intertwining your small fingers against his larger bigger ones. You give them a squeeze, pleased when Jeongguk looks up at you. “That’s all we need to do. Not everything will be perfect. We just need to try our best to make Jieun happy. Right?” He nods at that, holding your hand tighter. “And stop worrying. She loves you. You’re a great dad.”

He stares at you deeply, still gripping your hand. You watch that soft smile slip onto his face in silence, a warmth bubbling in your chest.

“And you’re a great mom,” He whispers back. You ache to lean over Jieun’s sleeping body, press a chaste kiss against your boyfriend’s lips. But a loud gurgle from her has both of you glancing down concerned. She’s kicking her legs gently, mouth halfway open and drool around her lips. You wipe her mouth fondly, letting go of Jeongguk’s hand to do so.

“We should sleep, shouldn’t we,” He mumbles, burrowing his head into the pillow.

“We should.”

“Hmm. Goodnight bubba,” He whispers at Jieun and then he glances up, eyes soft. “Goodnight Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jeongguk,” You return, giddy for some stupid reason. “Goodnight Jieun-ie.”

There’s a beat of silence, when the air is only filled with the rise and fall of your chests in union, punctuated by the occasional sigh from Jieun. And then Jeongguk is kicking your feet beneath the blanket, eyes open and on you.

“I love you,” He whispers, crust forming around his eyes. You kick him back, a warm feeling settling in your chest as your eyes flicker between your baby and the love of your life. It’s oddly perfect, despite the lack of sleep, despite how groggy the both of you are, despite the uncertainty of the future. None of that matters at that moment. Because you’re here, in your home, in bed with the two people you hold near and dear to your heart. You’ll tackle it together, whatever challenges the future holds for you. Because this is your family.

“I love you too, Jeongguk.”

#jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #btswritingcafe #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fic

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

If I Fell For You (Part 2) - Baseball Caps & Stroller Naps

Summary: The reader gets into the swing of things around the Ackles household and starts having more one on one time with Jensen. He even offers to set her up with a friend of his. When he invites her to a family outing as a friend though, she gets another glimpse that he might not be as put together as he appears...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Daddy!Jensen

Word Count: 5,900ish

Warnings: language, mention of death of a spouse/death of a parent

A/N: Things are starting to happen! This was also written for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Bingo!

________

“Good morning,” you said the next day as Jensen walked into the kitchen covered in sweaty workout clothes.

“Morning,” he said, going to the fridge to grab a drink. “Get the kids to school okay?”

“Yup,” you said, Jensen sniffing the air and humming as he walked over to where a loaf of banana bread was cooling in the rack. “Ah, it’s still too hot. Wait another half hour.”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “It smells amazing by the way. I don’t think anything’s been baked in this house in six months.”

“I’ve always enjoyed it,” you said, Jensen taking a seat on top of the counter. He chugged down the cold bottle of water, some of it dripping down the corners of his mouth. “Enjoy sleeping in today?”

“You don’t know the half of it. I feel amazing.”

“You look rested for the first time since I’ve met you,” you said. “You should sleep in on the weekends more too. The kids don’t need to be up at dawn.”

“No, they don’t,” he said. “I do love sleep too. You do okay with getting the three of them going on your own today?”

“Yeah. JJ’s old enough to get herself dressed and make her bed and do a few things on her own. The twins are a balancing act but the trick is to give yourself double the amount of time you think you need and you’ll never be late.”

“Not a bad tip,” he said as you finished wiping off a glass and picked up a pad and pen. “Whatcha working on?”

“Ideas for crafts and that sort of thing. You guys have a lot of supplies already so I was thinking of some ideas to do this week,” you said.

“You know...you can stick them in front of a TV too. They have their shows they like. We aren’t big on tracking screen time,” he said. “As long as they play and do some kind of creative thing everyday they can watch TV for a few hours in a row if they want. Our parents didn’t worry about that shit when we were kids, you know?”

“No, they didn’t do that,” you said. He lifted up the bottom of his muscle tank and wiped off his face, your eyes going straight down to the pad so you wouldn’t risk staring. “Any work scheduled for today?”

“I gotta wash up, head to the brewery for a few to check on things. I have some voice acting work I’m doing right now so I go to a place downtown and record that. That’ll be my afternoon. I can handle making dinner tonight. I should be back around four thirty, maybe a hair after,” he said.

“Alright,” you said. “Anything you need at the store today?”

“Nah, we got plenty here,” he said. He wiped off his face with his shirt again, using his collar this time. You handed him a dish towel and he smiled, rubbing it over his neck and head. “Sorry. I’m dripping aren’t I.”

“A little. Do you work out a lot?” you asked.

“No more than the average person. Try to do thirty minutes in the morning most days of the week. It’s sort of been my only alone time lately,” he said.

“Are you a runner?”

“God no. I’m not built for that. I like boxing and HIIT, weights, that sort of stuff. Part of my job is to look a certain way so if I’m gonna be the tough guy…”

“You gotta look like a tough guy?” you asked. He smiled and you looked him up and down. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re a strong guy, that’s pretty obvious. But you’re not a tough guy.”

“Oh I’m not?” he asked but there was a lightness to his voice.

“Tough guys tend to be assholes. You’re too nice for that,” you said.

“I suppose you have a point,” he said, sliding off the counter. He stepped over to the banana bread and picked up the knife nearby, slicing off a piece for himself and popping it in his mouth. “Hot. Hot.”

“I told you so,” you said with a small laugh.

“Tastes delicious though,” he said with his mouth full. You shook your head as he ate another piece and turned to go upstairs.

“Jensen,” you said, pointing at the sweaty dish towel.

“Ugh, yes mom,” he said, swiping it away with a smile.

“Thank you,” you said, tapping on your notepad. You felt his presence beside you, not to mention the smell, and turned your head up, Jensen smiling back. “Yes?”

“Aren’t you due for a break?” he asked.

“You don’t really get how this nanny thing works yet, do you.”

“Yeah well...I’m not a shitty boss so I guess you’ll have to get used to that too. Take a break Y/N. Have some coffee on the balcony. It’s a sunny January day. Enjoy it,” he said. You rolled your eyes and he pointed at the back door before he headed upstairs. You bit your bottom lip and glanced at the clock. You had been going for over three hours non-stop and one of those had been spent trying to convince a four year old he had to wear pants to daycare.

You turned to leave the kitchen when you heard a tsk. You jumped and slipped on the rug in front of the sink, falling backwards straight down to the hardwood floor.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he said as he rushed over. “I’m always tripping over that thing.”

“I’m fine,” you said as you sat up with his help. Your ass hurt but you knew you’d be alright. “Maybe we move the rug from the very trippable area?”

He swallowed and stared at you for a long moment before you smiled.

“How about we put it outside your office?” you asked softly. He nodded and you picked up one end of the long strip of fabric. He went to the other end and picked it up, backing up as you walked it over to the other side of the house. You laid it out in front of his closed door, smiling as you straightened it up. “There we go. Safe and sound.”

You headed back to the kitchen, Jensen lingering behind you.

“I was...gonna say you can make...you can use my coffee machine,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” you said quietly. “Jensen.”

“Hm?”

“Stuff is stuff. This isn’t a museum. It’s a home. It’s gonna change over time.”

“I know. It’s just that rug...it is so damn ugly and I hate it,” he said with a smile. “I wanted to get rid of it the day she brought it home.”

“Wives have a way of getting the last word in,” you said. He chuckled and you got out a mug for yourself. “Tell me to shove it if this is too personal but are you sure you want to get back out into the dating world? It’s rough out there.”

“It is. Until it isn’t,” he said.

“You’re a hopeless romantic, aren’t you.”

“Guilty as charged.” He rubbed the back of his neck and his cheeks flushed for a brief moment.

“Women like hopeless romantics,” you said. “Just don’t get taken advantage of for that. There’s some not so nice women out there too.”

“Afraid I’ll fall for some ditz?” he asked.

“No, I don’t think you’d do that. But someone might hurt you and you’ve been through enough. Maybe just...don’t fall in love at first sight or something like that,” you said. “Alright?”

“Never was much good at that,” he said to himself while you grabbed your coffee mug. “You believe in that sort of thing?”

“I’d like to. But you’re more of the expert on falling in love than I am,” you said.

“Maybe it’s not first sight but within a few days, a week, yeah I knew I was in love,” he said.

“Well if that happens again let me know and I’ll make sure this chick is good for you,” you said.

“I didn’t know my nanny came with bodyguard services,” he chuckled.

“That was under special skills on my resume,” you said as you headed over to the door to the balcony. “You should wash up. Don’t want to be late.”

“No I better not be,” he said. He turned to head upstairs, pausing on the first step. “You know, no one’s an expert at falling in love. Even those of us who were once married.”

“Oh don’t be a hopeless romantic for me getting my shit together too. We’ll be here for years,” you laughed.

“Just sayin’...maybe we’ll both find somebody. Not that we need anyone to be happy but...you know what I mean,” he said.

“Men don’t really talk about love like that you know.”

“I do,” he said. You smiled and he returned it.

“That’s why all the good men get taken early, the ones that talk like that,” you said.

“I was older than you when I got married. Maybe I’ll get married again someday. We’re out there. I promise.”

“Go shower,” you said, waving him off. You slipped outside, closing the door behind you. You leaned over the railing with your mug and let out a sigh. “You have to a be a fucking hopeless romantic too don’t you. Fucking perfect at everything.”

You lowered your head and took a deep breath.

“It’s a crush, it’s a crush,” you said, closing your eyes. “Just a crush. He’s your boss and a widow and he bought a birthday cake for me.”

You opened your eyes and glanced into the mug, taking another deep breath.

“He’s just nice. That’s it. Even if he’s…” you trailed off. You took a long sip of the hot liquid, not caring you were burning your tongue. Jensen was simply a nice person and that was that. You had a crush on the attractive single dad you were nannying for. There was nothing wrong with that and you knew for a fact it’d be gone by the end of the week tops.

“Ow,” you groaned a few days later. You opened your eyes and heard a knock at the door to your suite. “Yeah?”

“You okay in there? I thought I heard a crash,” said Jensen.

“I’m fine,” you said, sitting up with a grunt, leaning back against your bed. “Shit.”

“Y/N, are you sure you’re alright?” he asked again.

“No,” you said with a sigh. “The door’s open.”

You peaked through your open door down the hall, Jensen opening the one to the suite and offering a friendly smile. You nodded and he walked inside, frowning at your cut up knee.

“I got blood on the rug,” you said. “Do we have bleach?”

“I thought we agreed earlier this week a rug is just a rug,” he said, squatting down and looking at your knee. He looked up and saw your overturned garbage can in your closet where you’d been trying to reorganize a few clothes. “Next time use the step stool in the garage?”

“Yeah,” you said, your face hot. “I’m fine really. Just want to clean up the blood before it sets in.”

“It’s a few drops,” he said, helping you stand with a wince. “You got any first aid stuff?”

“Yeah,” you said, Jensen crossing his arms. “No.”

“Come on,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders and walking you down the hall. “Scraped up knees are my specialty.”

“Jensen,” you said, stopping at the kitchenette island and bending your leg a few times.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. He left and you hopped over to the couch, stretching your leg out. The bleeding had stopped, just a thin cut on your knee cap where you’d hit it, but you knew you were in for a nasty bruise. He returned with a bottle and cotton ball in one hand, a bandage and ice pack in the other.

“Sorry,” you said, Jensen setting the items down on the coffee table.

“Why would you apologize for getting hurt?” he said.

“I should have my own first aid supplies,” you said.

“Ah. So you’re as stubborn as I am when you’re not feeling great,” he said. You looked down at your lap and took a deep breath.

“Am I fired?” you asked.

“No? Why the fuck would I fire you?” he said.

“I don’t know,” you said, picking up the bottle of rubbing alcohol.

“Have you been fired for getting hurt before?” he asked, watching you hold the cotton ball against the open bottle top and tip it over, soaking the liquid in. You pretended to not hear him and put the bottle back, wiping the ball over the cut, a deep red mark already on your skin. “Y/N.”

“Yes, I have,” you said. You set the ball on the table and picked up the bandage, trying to angle it over your knee. He rolled his eyes and took it out of your hand, bending down and turning it around, pressing it gently over your skin.

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal,” he said as he looked up at you.

“Do I look like I have an HR department I can go to? They were dicks anyways,” you said.

“If you’re ever hurt, big or small, just tell me,” he said. He rested the ice pack over your knee and you sat back, throwing it up on the couch for you to lay there. “Promise I won’t fire you for it.”

“Well if I can’t do my job I’m not much use to you,” you said.

“Are all wealthy people assholes that act like that?” he asked. You shook your head and smiled. “Good.”

“I’ve nannied for eight different families, nine counting yours. Some were very good people,” you said.

“But you were just the help to them, even the good ones,” he said.

“I am the help. That’s the whole point of me being there,” you said.

“Do me a favor? Don’t assume just because you’re someone’s employee that they think of you as just the help,” he said, picking up the first aid supplies.

“Sorry.”

“Why do you apologize for…” he said, muttering to himself as you looked down. “If I ever make you feel like that, smack me in the head, alright?”

“Alright,” you said quietly. He nodded and left with the items, returning a moment later with some cleaning spray, ducking into your room for only a moment before exiting.

“It’s all clean,” he said. He lingered at the door and put a hand on it. “Leave that ice pack on for fifteen minutes and pop it back in the freezer. Put it back on for a bit before bed.”

“Thanks,” you said.

“It’s no problem,” he said. He still lingered and you took a deep breath.

“You should call someone, talk to them,” you said. He looked over his shoulder and you smiled. “You seem like you want to talk to somebody tonight is all.”

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive, maybe stop at a friend’s. The kids are all in bed,” he said. “If that’s cool.”

“Yeah go take a second for yourself,” you said. “I got everything here.”

“Thanks,” he said. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Night, Jensen.”

One Week Later

“Y/N,” said Jensen as you washed your car in the driveway on a Saturday morning. You dropped the soapy sponge in the bucket and straightened yourself out. “Got plans today?”

“Uh, I was gonna run to the grocery store in a minute but other than that, no. Need me to watch the kids?”

“No. We were going out to lunch and then going to a little car show was all and we were wondering if you’d like to join us. Totally up to you. My treat.”

“You don’t want me to watch the kids?” you asked. He laughed and crossed his arms at you. “I’m confused.”

“Do you want to hang out with us today? For fun?” he asked.

“Oh,” you said. “That’s okay. You enjoy your time with the kids.”

“How do I make this clearer,” he said, walking over to you and looking down. “I want you to come with us, as a friend, to do something fun, like friends do. This is not work. Come if you want to.”

“You sure you want me to come?” you asked. He rolled his eyes and plopped his baseball cap on your head as he walked away.

“Yes. And wear sunscreen,” he said. “We’re leaving at eleven thirty.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you guys then.”

“There’s something about a burger that’s been cooked in a greasy pop up kitchen that just adds to the flavor,” you said as you took a bite of your cheese burger at the car show.

“It’s probably the grease,” he said, walking one hand on his burger, the other holding Arrow’s hand. She wiped her own little hand on his leg and he sighed as he looked down. “Arrow. I got napkins in my pocket.”

“Oh,” she said, wiping her face against him.

“No one mentions this part,” he chuckled. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulders once he was done with his food, humming as he pushed the stroller with a sleeping Zeppelin inside.

“Dad, I gotta go to the bathroom,” said JJ.

“I’ll take her and we can catch up with you guys?” you said. He mouthed a thank you to you as you headed over to the women’s room. You used the bathroom as well, finishing before her and waiting outside for her. “All set?”

“Yeah. Can we get fried dough?” she asked.

“Sure,” you said. You let her lead the way in line and got a plate for the two of you, taking a seat at a picnic table so she could dig in. “Taste yummy?”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “Dad likes fried dough a lot too.”

“Everybody does,” you said, taking a piece off the corner.

“Y/N, you don’t have a mom either right?” she said. “That’s what dad said.”

“Well that’s a funny question. I got a mom and so do you. They just aren’t around anymore is all,” you said. “What’s up?”

“I’m happy you stay with us I guess is all. I know you’re not mom and you work for dad but you kinda are and I like it when dad’s happy again,” she said.

“Me too. You doing okay, kiddo?” you asked. “It’s okay if you still miss your mom.”

“I do but I’m not sad anymore. Dad says when I get real old I can see her again so that’s cool,” she said, taking a big bite.

“It definitely is cool,” you said. “Maybe our mom’s are hanging out right now.”

“You think so?” she asked.

“Maybe. I bet they get up to some fun stuff up there,” you said.

“Me too,” she said. “Dad’s really happy you came with us. He’s been cranky lately.”

“Your dad’s gonna be just fine,” you said as she finished off her food. “So do you like having a nanny? I know that’s kinda new and funny, huh.”

“Yeah but I really like you being home. Dad gets flustered sometimes.”

“Flustered?” you asked with a little laugh.

“He works on a lot of stuff and he didn’t pick me up on time from school and stuff a few weeks ago. Too many chickens in a basket,” she said.

“Too many eggs in one basket,” you said.

“Isn’t an egg gonna be a chicken though?”

“I...never thought of it that way,” you said. You nearly jumped when you felt some hands on your shoulders but JJ was smiling as Arrow climbed up next to you.

“Ah. I see you ladies found the fried dough. Twins you want some?” asked Jensen.

“Yes please,” they said and he chuckled as he went off to buy some more.

“Look at her,” said Jensen twenty minutes later, pausing at a deep blue Impala, the twins both conked out in their stroller.

“Isn’t that the same car you have?” you asked, lifting up the brim of your baseball cap to get a better look.

“Mine’s a 67. That’s a 63. I love that color though,” he said. “Blue’s my favorite but it looks good on that car.”

“I think it looks good in black,” you said, walking again when you saw JJ a few cars ahead of the two of you. “Where’d you get your car?”

“Work,” he said with a quick smile, hiding behind his sunglasses and hat.

“Aren’t you an actor?” you asked.

“You have very obviously never seen an episode of my show,” he chuckled. “Which is totally cool by the way. I drove that car in the show for well over a decade. She’s one of my true loves.”

“Ah, gotcha,” you said. “So you’re a car guy.”

“Kinda. I don’t know everything but I enjoy them. What about you, you like-JJ! Stay closer,” he called out when she kept walking ahead. “So do you like cars?”

“I guess so. This is kinda neat, walking around and looking at the old ones. They had more style back then,” you said, walking past a pair of guys your age, one of them looking you up and down as you went by. “Did that guy-”

“Yup,” he said, glancing back over his shoulder, throwing his arm over yours for a few moments. “Looks like he got the message.”

“Jensen,” you laughed. “I wasn’t offended. It’s not like he was gonna come up and ask for my number.”

“I don’t like the look of him,” he said.

“Neither did I,” you chuckled, Jensen dropping his arm from around you. “You’re that guy friend girls have that will do shit like pretend to be a boyfriend and all that stuff, aren’t you.”

“At your service,” he said with a mini curtesy. You giggled and he straightened up, JJ rushing over.

“Dad can I get an ice cream?” she asked.

“How about some apple slices,” he said, reaching under the stroller and grabbing a cooler. He pulled out a little baggie and handed it to her, JJ shrugging and walking ahead of the stroller again. “Shit, that probably means I can’t get ice cream now too.”

“We can always get some on the way home for later,” you said. “I won’t tell on you.”

“I’m putting this on your performance review,” he said. You shot him a side glance and he smirked. “I’m joking. I don’t want to do that as much as you don’t.”

“Thank you for that,” you said, stopping and looking at a red challenger for a moment.

“You like that one?” he asked.

“It’s nice,” you said before you started walking again. You fixed your hat and caught back up with him, Jensen slowing down as JJ took her time ahead of you. “So I should probably know this but what show were you in where you were driving around a muscle car?”

“You really haven’t looked me up online yet?” he chuckled. You shrugged and he laughed to himself.

“I may have peeked at your IMDB page but that was it. Was it that show you were on a long time? Super something?”

“Supernatural,” he said, a big smile on his face. “Yeah, I drove it for that.”

“Oh yeah, that was the really scary show, wasn’t it,” you said.

“You’re too sweet,” he said, chuckling to himself. “It’s not that scary. I promise. Give it a try sometime. You might like it.”

“I’m sure someday I will. If I’m brave enough.”

“I think you are,” he said, JJ running up ahead again before he called for her to hang back. He sighed and threw his head back. “It never ends, does it?”

“I’m sure someday when she’s older you won’t have to worry so much.”

“I’m gonna worry about that kid when she’s forty years old,” he said.

“That’s cause you’re a good dad,” you said.

“You haven’t known me that long,” he said.

“Do you love her? Worry about her?” you asked and he nodded. “Well any dad that does that and tells his kid that someday they’ll get to see their mom again to help her grieve when he well and truly doesn’t know the answer to that...you get the picture Ackles?”

“I could be better,” he said.

“Everyone could be better. They don’t need the best dad ever. They just need the best dad for them and you seem like you’re doing a good job of that from what I’ve seen so far,” you said. “You’re gonna screw up but so does everyone. Try to just enjoy it and not be too hard on yourself.”

“You’ve spent a lot of time with kids haven’t you,” he said.

“I’ve been in the mom role more than once as a nanny,” you said. You kicked at the dirt and shrugged. “It’s how I know the difference Jensen. You don’t need me or want me to be their mother. You just need help sometimes. That’s an important difference. Asking for help, especially when you don’t want it but need it, that’s a good dad move.”

He was quiet as he walked, stopping at a yellow mustang. He stared for a moment and swallowed.

“Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot. Really.”

“Come on dad,” you said, walking away and up towards where JJ was. “Let’s go see if we can find one this one’s gonna be asking for on her sixteenth birthday.”

“Those three are finally down and out for the count,” said Jensen as he walked downstairs to catch you in the kitchen wiping up the pan from dinner. “Thanks for eating with us tonight.”

“Thanks for inviting me,” you said, putting the pan away. He looked out the back window and bit his bottom lip. “Everything alright?”

“You’re not like, hanging out with us cause you think you have to right?” he asked.

“Trust me. If I didn’t want to, I’d be down in my room,” you said. “Besides, I’ve thought about it and you know what, why don’t you set me up with that friend of yours.”

“Really?” he asked, a little alarmed.

“Why not? The age thing doesn’t bother me at all. Unless you think it’d be a problem for him?”

“No, he doesn’t really care about that sort of thing. I think he’d prefer it’s just someone he clicked with, had a connection, you know?” he said.

“Perfect. Why don’t you set us up for next Saturday night then?” you asked.

“I need you to watch the kids next Saturday night. I have-”

“The gala. Sorry, I forgot. Um, just, I’m free whenever. You know my schedule so you can set something up and just let me know?” you said. He smiled and nodded. As you were starting to leave he grunted. “Yeah?”

“I have some friends coming over for a drink in a bit. Small backyard fire. Whiskey and smores. You’re welcome to join.”

“Jensen. You’re not asking because you feel like you have to right?”

“No, not at all. I like hanging out with you. I’m sure whatever you’re binging on TV will be there if we bore you too much,” he said.

“Alright. I’ll be out in half an hour or so. Just wanted to freshen up from the show earlier,” you said. You ducked back to your room, taking a quick shower and changing into some leggings and a flannel. By the time you were out you could hear a slight mumbling and walked downstairs, catching Jensen with some guys on the patio pouring some drinks.

“Hey,” said Jensen when you stepped out of the slider door. “Guys this is Y/N.”

“Ah we get to meet the world’s best nanny,” said the tallest one. “I’m Jared.”

“Rich.”

“Rob.”

“Hi!” said a redhead that slipped out of the door behind you. “I’m Ruth.”

“Y/N. Your hair is kinda amazing by the way,” you said.

“This is what happens when you invite the girls,” said Rich.

“Normally we just talk about Jared’s hair,” chuckled Jensen. You grabbed a chair and helped gather up some snacks to bring over to his firepit, Ruth hanging back to help you.

“Jensen said you live here with him and the munchkins?”

“Yeah. He works so much it makes things easier on him. Are you an actress?” you asked.

“We all are. Only Jared lives close by. The rest of us haven’t been down here since…” she said and you nodded. “I really am happy you’re here. It’s nice to see a smile on our boys face again.”

“He’s a great boss. He’s very kind. We’re becoming friends,” you said. “He’s trying to set me up with his friend actually.”

“Oh which one?”

“Dunno. He just said he’s 42, an actor and is single. Age stuff doesn’t bother me.”

“Rob is a bit older than myself. It really doesn’t matter in the slightest, especially when you’re a little older,” she said. “Jensen says you’re great with the kids.”

“They’re pretty easy going. Normally the parents are the hard part of my job but he’s been great. He really loves his kids,” you said.

“Yes he certainly does,” she said.

By the end of the night you found yourself really enjoying Jensen’s friends. It was clear they cared for him at more than a surface level, especially Jared. You’d heard Jensen speak to him on the phone a few times and call him his brother but it really was apparent they had a special bond that went beyond a typical friendship.

“I’ll catch you guys for brunch before you head home,” said Jensen, waving night to them all as you helped pick up. You were just about finished and heading back for your room when Jensen caught you in the kitchen. “You have fun tonight?”

“Yeah. Your friends are great,” you said, a small pair of footsteps coming down the stairs. You both turned and saw Zeppelin there with tears in his eyes.

“What’s wrong, honey?” asked Jensen as he walked over and squatted down.

“I had a bad dream and I want mommy but she’s gone,” he whined. Jensen instantly scooped him up and held onto him tight, kissing his head. “I want mommy.”

“I want mommy too, baby,” said Jensen quietly. You mouthed go and he nodded, taking Zeppelin upstairs while you finished cleaning up.

You got up early the next morning and made a big batch of chocolate chip pancakes, plenty leftover for breakfast the next morning. Jensen padded over from the hall where you knew the home gym was, sweaty and tired but a smile came onto his face when he saw you.

“What’s all this,” he asked, getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Chocolate chip pancakes make everything better,” you said. He put a few on a plate for himself and sat down at the counter as you made up some more, stealing a few for yourself.

“These are delicious,” he said. You stored away some for when the kids got up, making up your own plate before you dug in. “Sorry about last night. I feel like I ruined the fun.”

“Not at all. He’s a toddler. I literally can’t imagine being in your position. I’d have fallen apart instantly,” you said.

“No you wouldn’t. You care about those kids,” he said. “You push on for them.”

“I know it’s not really my place to say so but-”

“Y/N. I’d prefer if you just talk to me like a friend, really,” he said.

“You made it sound like you were ready to try dating again. Last night you seemed kind of...maybe not so ready.”

“I’m ready. I will always miss her. I’ll always love her. But that doesn’t mean I can’t love anyone else ever again like that too, you know? I don’t believe there is a limit on how much love a person can give,” he said.

“Your wife was a very lucky woman,” you said.

“I was lucky. She was patient with me,” he chuckled. “You guys would have gotten along really well.”

“Can I offer a bit of advice?” you asked.

“What’s that?”

“Keep telling your kids about her, all throughout their lives. They’ll still get to know her that way, you know?” you said. “Tell your future girlfriend too. That’s how you’ll know if they’re a good one for you.”

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“You’re a kind soul. I would expect your partner would be as well,” you said.

“I hope so. Mine kinda has a permanent handle with care warning label on it,” he chuckled.

“I don’t think so. Just need somebody that understands, not try to fix you. There’s nothing wrong with you in the first place,” you said, taking a bite of your pancake.

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said.

“You’re not that much older, bucko,” you chuckled.

“Nah, I’m keeping kiddo,” he laughed. “You good to watch the kids for a few hours around eleven?”

“Sounds good. Go have a mimosa with your friends for me,” you said.

“Will do, Y/N. Will do.”

______

A/N: Read Part 3 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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spideyspeaches · 4 years

Text

Heart made of glass ↬ t.h

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @hollandcrush !! <3<3

Request (Summary): can you please write one about Tom, who is on the filming process of cherry and has some emotional problems because he feels that his character is already part of his life, so he comes home very angry and in a bad mood, so he just snaps and creates a big fight with the reader and just says things that he obviously didn't meant, you know very angst, and at the end just very fluff.

Hope you like this anon! Lemme know your thoughts heh <3<3

Warnings: breakdowns, slight vomiting but it’s not graphic. I’m not in any way romanticizing or sexualising breakdowns.

WC: 2k+

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Tom was an ambitious guy. He took his roles seriously, no matter what his character was and who he played. It was an admirable trait, the way he both enjoyed his work and worked hard to earn a high place in such a place as Hollywood.

You always took pride in how amazing and accomplished your boyfriend was, your heart swelling whenever you heard his name being mentioned in events and interviews. You enjoyed how he tried to diversify the movies he worked in.

("I've been playing the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man for so long, it's about time I play someone different now." He once said in a Jimmy Kimmel interview. You were watching from the audience, smiling as the audience roared in affirmation.

"Well looks like you took quite a big leap from playing a superhero." Jimmy said, smiling at the audience with his paparazzi smile.

You knew the question was scripted, quite harmless, but you still noticed how his shoulder stiffened, his smile not wavering once.

"Well yeah, I used to be a superhero and now I'm a heroin addict." He joked, winking at the audience as he ran a hand through his nearly hairless head.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his face in your chest as you shushed him. )

It always worked in his favour, with the incredible support his family and fan base provided. And he was always so humble about it.

Filming Cherry, however, was way different than he thought it would. With filming Cherry came consequences that he didn't necessarily like. He knew what he was bringing on himself and his family when he was first introduced with the script.

(Contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually give out spoilers, it was just small promotional stunts that kind of took over as his reputation to spoil minor details.)

The process was intense, getting into the mindset of "Cherry" was taxing, and people were beginning to notice it in him. He was more restless, tugging at his non existent curls when he thought no one would notice.

He was more clingy, more appreciative of your body and you, letting you know that there was no sexual intent behind his acts of caressing your waist at random times. You didn't notice the change in his behaviour.

He had always been like this, watching you with the most gratifying gaze a man could muster, his pretty brown eyes like globes of whiskey, staring at you with a muffled expression. You didn't notice.

There had always been a cutting edge to his voice, you knew and adored it. Behind the British actor who played Spider-Man, he was your Tom. Your Tom who gave you forehead kisses and baked cakes with you and made silly playlists that reminded him of you and you of him, your Tom who worshiped the ground you walked on, your Tom, your Tom and your Tom.

(Sometimes you envied that he was an actor, so good at hiding any emotions he felt, it came easy to him, just another fake emotion like he was a face behind the camera.)

He was never aggressive towards you. Never. Even on tough days, he was soft, caring and understanding to the point where it made you mad, immediately making you feel guilty. He worked so hard and yet here you were, blaming him for being nice, never standing up for himself.

"Uh, Tom, Tom stop, wait." You grunted, pushing his shoulders as he scrambled away from you at your discontent.

You held his face, his breath hitching, hyperventilating as he tried to get himself together.

Ever since he had started filming Cherry, he had been away from you. And now that you were finally here, he had been all over you, making love to every inch of your skin, like it was a holy grail he had to find, caressing your warm skin under his fingers making you shiver as his nimble fingers wandered. It was the intimacy, sexual and quasi-sexual, that made you realise, that there was something wrong.

Sex- it had been a constant in your life other than Tom. But of course, you didn't live on it. It was but a fuel that strengthened your relationship, it was about discovery and showing your vulnerable sides. It was a reminder of the coffee dates and baseball matches. It was loving, gentle and raw, like a gentle breeze caressing your face.

But this, this was different. And you noticed. This, what you had been doing, it was fucking. It was aggressive and needy and it felt good, but at the same time, it felt different.

"Baby?" You asked softly, trying to meet his eyes in the dark lit trailer. It was late, way past filming times, the only time you got to see his vulnerable side.

You should have been in his hotel room, but you were in his trailer instead. All alone in the all encompassing darkness, it made your heart stutter beats.

"Baby speak to me. What's happening, who's doing this to you?" You ask once again, holding onto him firmly this time, his squirming frame making you loosen your hold. You didn't care that you were naked, he had already seen it all.

Fiddling with the rough sheets, he huffed a heavy breath. And that was all it took for the dam to break.

"Tell me how do you feel baby, you're starting to scare me." You urged. All you got in response was his muffled sobs. Pulling him forward, you let his head rest on your bare chest, rivulets of tears sliding down your warm skin, almost burning you like acid, his tiny hair tickling you, a very contrasting feeling.

"I can't do it. I can't take it anymore." He sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around you, shivering at the contact. It was a cold night in Cleveland, and you were naked and he was crying. You were berating yourself for not noticing.

"What can't you take anymore?" You hold him, tracing circles on his buzz cut hair, just the way you did when he had his curls.

"I feel like I'm becoming him. I don't like it at all, I try and try but I can't." He sobs, shoulders hitching with each sob. You felt your heart break, the sounds of his cries sending daggers into your skin.

How could you have not noticed? The lively sunshine of a man was almost an empty shell. The interviews with former drug addicts had been excruciating for you, pity, disgust, sympathy and every other sinful emotion swirling in your mind.

You couldn't believe that you hadn't thought about Tom, of what an effect it would have on him.

"Bub, listen to me, carefully," you said, shushing him as he continued to look at you, teary eyed and red nosed, snot dripping out of his nose,"you listen to me. You're strong and resilient and nothing like him okay? He's not you. You're Tom Holland. You're brilliant and brave and amazing okay?"

"But I don't feel that way!" He said, his aggressive stance surprising you, "he's- he's…"

"He's what?" You asked, a little too impatient. Muttering a sorry, you rub your palm on his cheek, kissing the soft, moist skin.

"I don't feel so good." He croaked, getting up suddenly, making a run for the washroom. You rushed after him, watching him as he heaved into the toilet. Rubbing his back, you muttered affirmations, curling besides him as he sat on the ground, his back to the cold wall.

You got up to switch on the lights, feeling his hands tugging yours, a soft "stay" coming out of him.

"Better?" You asked, feeling him now against your collarbone.

"I shouldn't be this affected, this- this isn't fair. I'm overreacting, I'm sorry I worried you baby I swear I didn't mean to-"

"Shh, Tom first of all, you're not overreacting okay?" You smiled, kissing his nose, moving towards his brows and his forehead, "It's perfectly reasonable. The role you're playing...It's not exactly picking daisies. Fuck you're playing a heroin addict Tommy, a broken soldier with PTSD, a breakdown was inevitable. It only shows that you're human."

"Really?" He smiled, it looked more like a grimace, a plea for reassurance.

"Yes, really." You said, booping his nose, eliciting a giggle from him,"now, you better go to bed mister, you have an early shoot don't you?" You playfully scolded, kissing his lips, laughing as he carried you bridal style.

"Tomorrow will be better." You whispered, kissing his eyelids, already closed, chest moving rhythmically as you counted his pulse, making sure he was completely asleep before slipping on your clothes, covering him with the thin quilt.

***

"Is everything okay on set?" You asked casually, watching the crewmates work tirelessly in the daylight.

You were standing next to Ciara on a prop jeep, fiddling with the water bottle held in your hand.

"Hmm, as okay it can be with two people playing drug addicts." She shrugged, looking at you with a small smile.

"Are you okay?" You asked, turning to give her your full attention, remembering your boyfriend's breakdown yesterday.

"It gets… intense at times. Some scenes are hard to play, but we're okay. Mostly." She answered, taking your water bottle and chugging the water.

"I'm not a therapist, but you can talk to me, you know?" You smiled, holding her shoulder as she gave you a bashful smile.

"It's been tough on Tom. He's more aggressive, nearly had a breakdown during a scene." She said.

"Yeah, that.. that happened yesterday too."

"It was time, a person can only hold so much right?"

"Yeah."

You pondered her words, wondering if you could do anything to curb this.

"I think I need help." He said one day while you were eating dinner. Harry, who was sitting next to you, looked up from his plate, giving you a knowing look before clearing his throat.

"I'm gonna get some water." He said, waving awkwardly at you and getting up. You took that as a cue to scoot closer to Tom, running your hands through his camel hair.

"That's very brave of you hun, asking for help." You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. You felt him smile, sliding closer to you, holding you by your waist.

"I learnt from the best." He muttered in your hair, kissing your forehead.

You felt his love that day, felt the way he ran his smooth fingers on your waistline, sliding across your thighs with care and softness you hadn't felt in a while. He was healing. It was a process, it took time but it happened.

***

You were walking across the library, his hand in yours, your hearts beating in silence.

"How was your appointment?" You asked, shivering in the cold air. You rubbed your palms together, bringing your jacket closer to your chest, huffing the cold air.

"It was good, much different from what the media portrays. She even showed me this meme she thinks you would like, look." He said, bringing out his phone to show you the saved meme.

You laughed at his eagerness, kissing his lips as a final gratification.

"Well it looks like you're having a great time. You have another scene left to do today in the evening so we better scram." You reminded him.

You always did that, remind him of his schedule, reminded him to take a breath when he felt like he was drowning. You reminded him of home and what he had to look forward to.

"Why can't we have a lazy day today?" He whined, kissing your neck, making you giggle as it tickled.

"You know you can't do that hun, you already took three days off." You snickered, poking his sides.

"Well that sucks. I just want to spend my day with my girl, is that too much to ask?" He smiled, kissing your forehead, one hand holding yours, swinging back and forth, the other holding a large cup of coffee in a tight grip.

You reached to loosen his fingers, taking a sip, slurping loudly, making him laugh. You decided you liked this laugh much better, it was breathy and free, a melody to your ears.

You noticed how he was more relaxed and back to being that ray of sunshine. Back to being your Tom.

Thanks for reading! also as a side note- here’s a similar fic @itsallyscorner !!

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #spideygirl writes

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the-iceni-bitch · 4 years

Text

Lost in the Lapse Again

Pairing: Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x dark!fem Reader

Words: ~3.5k

Summary: Mr. Freezy’s domestic bliss gets jarringly interrupted

Warnings: DARK, explicit language, explicit sexual content (f receiving oral sex, over the pants foot job, unprotected vaginal sex), non con aspects, alcohol consumption, mentions of violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: ::Just a lot of evil giggling:: I’m not sorry.

Robert growled into his beer as he listened to his bitch wife chatter away in the kitchen, his dumbass kid playing with some stupid truck on the floor in front of him.

All his wife had been talking about for the past week was her new friend Suzy. Suzy was so funny and smart and it was so sad that she couldn’t find a man. He’d finally broken down and let her invite the bitch over for dinner, just to shut her up so he wouldn’t blow her brains out.

“I’m so excited for you to meet her, sweetie.” His wife cooed as she set the bread and cheese on the table. “I still wish you could’ve invited one of your coworkers to set her up with.”

“Really don’t think she’d be interested in any of them.” He said with an eye roll, smirking at the idea of introducing his wife’s sweet little friend to one of the gangsters he spent his days with.

He chugged the rest of his beer and moved to grab another from the fridge when there was a sudden knock on the door. His wife let out a small sound of excitement as she headed to answer it, removing her apron and putting it over the back of one of the chairs.

“Suzy, I’m so happy to see you! Lemme take your coat.” He wife said happily when she opened the door, Robert grunting as he searched for his bottle opener.

“Mary! Thank you so much for inviting me! I hope red is ok?” Robert cocked his head to the side as he continued his search. That voice sounded familiar.

“Red is perfect! Thank you dear! This is my son Billy.”

“Nice to meet you Billy, that’s a pretty cool fire truck you’ve got there!”

Robert set down his bottle with a crash as he growled under his breath and stormed into the living room.

“And here’s my husband Robert! This is Suzy, sweetheart.”

You grinned as you turned to face him, shifting your weight and offering him your hand as he stared at you murderously.

“So nice to meet you Robert.” You purred, fighting a smirk as he did his best to school the expression of rage that was taking over his face.

“Mmhm.” He grunted, taking your hand and squeezing it a little tighter than necessary as he shook it in greeting. “Nice to meet you too.”

“Dinner is almost done, why don’t you two chat while I finish up?” Mary said as she moved back into the kitchen.

“Sure, I’d love to wash up though. Could you show me to the bathroom, Robert?” You said, giving Pronge an innocent look that made him snarl.

He just grumbled and wrapped his hand around your upper arm as he dragged you out of the living room and down the hall. You beamed at him as he shoved you into the bathroom, laughing as he followed after you and slammed the door behind him.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Y/N?” He hissed, backing you against the sink as he clenched his fists to keep from strangling you.

“Aww, you’re not happy to see me, baby?” You teased, propping your ass on the sink and running your foot up the inside of his leg. “I was just keeping an eye on you when I ran into that sweet little wife of yours. What a peach she is!”

“Keeping an eye on me?” He growled as he fought the urge to shove his hands under your skirt. “Who told you to do that?”

“It’s just my own little side project.” You purred, spreading your legs wide and running your knees up the side of his body as you locked your ankles together behind his back. “Hadn’t seen you in so long, I was starting to get a little worried.”

He looked down and groaned. Your skirt had slid up your thighs until it was pooled around your waist, giving him a perfect view of your glistening pussy because of course you weren’t wearing panties.

“We haven’t needed each other for any jobs, you bitch.” He seethed, trying to ignore you as you ran your fingers over your slick coated folds, biting your lip as you started to circle your clit. “You can’t just walk in here and fuck up my life.”

“Oh please.” You said with an eye roll, sliding one finger inside yourself and moaning softly. “You trying to tell me that precious little thing out there is taking care of all your needs? I bet she cries any time you even bring up a position other than missionary.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He growled, wrapping his hand around your throat as you grinned at him, choking on a whine as you shoved another finger into your aching pussy.

“Mmm, don’t squeeze too hard, Bobby.” You wheezed, grinding your palm against your clit as he bent to run his teeth over your jaw. “I know you love marking me up, but what would that pretty little wife of yours think?”

“I said shut up.” He snarled, gripping your wrist with his free hand and drawing your hand up to his face, inspecting your slick coated fingers closely before wrapping his lips around them and sucking them clean with a groan. “Fuck.”

He smashed his lips to yours in a desperate kiss, his teeth tugging against them incessantly before he released your throat and knelt between your legs. You bit your lip to stifle a cry as he sank his teeth into your thigh before mouthing hungrily at your sex. His tongue slipped between your folds and swirled over your clit.

His fingers pressed into your thighs with a bruising grip as you wound your hand in his hair and pressed him into you further. You turned the water on behind you to cover your whimpers as he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked hard.

“Dinner’s ready!” Mary called at the same time you came with a moan, your release flowing over his mouth and chin and soaking his goatee as your thighs tried to suffocate him.

“Don’t fucking say a word.” He seethed at you as he turned you around and pulled your skirt down to cover the marks he’d left on your thighs before leaning past you to splash some water on his face.

You just smirked as you felt his cock pressing against your ass, washing your hands under the water and humming contentedly to yourself.

He wrenched the door open and stormed out to the dining room, shooting you a warning glance as you followed after him.

“This looks so good, Mary. I’m such a horrible cook I can’t even imagine how much work this was.” You said, beaming at his stupid wife as you sank into your seat.

“Oh please, it was nothing!” She said waving you off as she moved to pour the wine. “I’m so glad to have someone else to cook for, Robert here has gotten so stoic about my food.”

She slapped his arm playfully as he let out a noncommittal grunt, avoiding making eye contact with you as he sank into his seat at the head of the table, right next to yours.

You took a sip of wine and leaned back in your seat, crossing your legs and grabbing a slice of bread.

He gripped his beer bottle tightly as he felt your foot running up the inside of his calf. You just grinned when he shot you a look, stilling your movement as Mary put a serving of lamb on your plate.

“So what is it you do for work, Robert?” You asked with a smirk as you took a bite of food, humming at the taste and giving Mary a look of approval as you tucked in.

“Oh, Robert owns and operates his own ice cream truck business!” Mary said with a proud smile, completely oblivious as you turned your body to press your foot into her husband’s crotch.

“Wow, that is impressive.” You murmured, trying not to look too satisfied as you felt him squirm underneath you. “I can’t believe a little ice cream business is enough to pay for this beautiful house.”

“Well, he works very hard to provide for me and little Billy.” She said as she beamed at you, still unaware of the fact you were about to make her husband come in his slacks.

“Yeah? You must be so proud of your daddy Billy.” You said with a smirk as you felt warmth bloom underneath the sole of your foot and slipped it back into your pump.

The stupid kid just shrugged and shoved his food around his plate, and you did your best to keep from rolling your eyes at the child. You fucking hated kids.

You made idle chitchat with Mary for the rest of the meal, lying to her about every aspect of your life as Robert glared at you and you pointedly ignored him. Mary started to clear the table when you were all finished, humming a little song to herself as she took away your plates.

Robert was still staring daggers at you as he untucked his shirt, hoping it would cover the evidence of his orgasm as he stood up to follow you to the bar.

“You need to fucking leave.” He seethed at you, pouring himself a scotch and downing it in one gulp.

“Oh, Robert.” You huffed sarcastically as you poured yourself a gin. “You are a terrible host.”

“Get out of here or I swear to god...”

“What, you gonna kill me in front of your little family?” You whispered, grinning at Mary as she flitted back into the room, already looking a little tipsy from the four glasses of wine she drank as you handed her a brandy.

“I’m so glad you could join us, Suzy.” She slurred, leaning against the bar and giving you a sloppy grin. “We should do this more often. Maybe next time I’ll invite my cousin George. He’s such a great guy.”

Robert snorted into his scotch at the image of that simpleton trying to make a move on you. You would eat him alive.

“That sounds so nice.” You said, taking a sip of gin and grinning at her. “I did have a wonderful time.”

“Yeah, we all did, Suzy was just telling me she had to go though.” Robert grumbled, giving you a meaningful look.

“True, I have an early day tomorrow.” You hummed as you downed the rest of your drink. “Should really get back to my place.”

“Oh, shoot! Well, Robert be a gentleman and walk her out to her car.” She ordered, taking his glass and shoving him to follow after you. “Wait, I’ll come too!”

You chewed on your lip as Robert trailed after you, grabbing your coat and slinging it over your shoulders as the woman babbled like a fool. She wrapped her arm around his waist as she wobbled on drunk legs and you shot him a wink as he tried to keep her from falling.

You climbed into the drivers seat and stuck the key in the ignition, frowning when the engine just clicked.

“Oh, no is there a problem?” Mary asked, looking a little giddy at the idea. “Do you have to stay? Robert, check under the hood for her and see if you can fix it.”

He rolled his eyes as he moved to check your engine, clenching his jaw and wrenching the hood up with a grunt. He frowned when he got a look at the engine. Your distributor rotor was missing, and there was not way that was an accident.

“I would call a tow truck but I think they’re all closed.” You said innocently, but he didn’t miss the mischievous gleam in your eye.

“Nonsense, you’ll spend the night here and we’ll call in the morning.” Mary said as Robert slammed the hood closed and fought the urge to scream at you.

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you.” You purred as you slid out of your car and followed her back into the house, ignoring the look Robert was giving you.

“Don’t be silly.” She said as she staggered over the threshold. “I’ll make up the guest room for you. Sweetie, can you get Billy ready for bed?”

He just grumbled to himself as he ushered his moron son towards his room, barely paying attention as he instructed him to start brushing his teeth.

Having you in his house was like torture. He wasn’t going to try to deny that he hadn’t been thinking about you since your last job, that’s all he’d been thinking about. But this was his life, sure he hated it, but it was a good cover. And all he could think about right now was storming into the guest room and fucking you until you were screaming, who cares if his wife or kid heard. That frigid bitch hadn’t even put out in months and his cock needed some sort of release.

He shut off the light and sighed once the stupid kid was in bed, shutting the door and moving to his own bedroom.

“Isn’t Suzy so great?” Mary said as she slipped into the dumbest looking nightgown he’d ever seen. “I can’t believe she’s still single.”

“Right.” He muttered, slipping out of his clothes and moving towards the bathroom to wash up.

He listened to her idiotic chatter as he got ready for bed, his pajama bottoms slung low on his hips when he finally made his way back to the bedroom. Mary was passed out on the bed as he shut off the light and climbed in beside her.

You were still occupying his thoughts as he tried to fall asleep, his cock hardening as he thought about leaving pretty bruises on your skin while he split you open. He flipped onto his stomach and pressed his dick into the bed as he tried his best to drift off, grinding his hips into the mattress to try to relieve some of the tension.

He turned his head to look at the stupid cunt passed out beside him. His hand snaked under her gown as she snored lightly, sliding up her thigh as he tried to think of some way he could relieve the ache in his groin. She gave a small noise as his hand found its way to the apex of her thighs and he grunted as he found her fucking bone dry, per usual. There was no way he was falling asleep, so he got out of the bed with a moan and headed to get a glass of water from the kitchen.

The moonlight was coming through the shades as he walked in, and he grumbled when he found you leaning against the counter smoking a cigarette, bathed in silvery light. You grinned at him as you held out the cigarette, the sleeve of your robe slipping down your shoulder enough to let him know you weren’t wearing anything underneath it.

“That stupid cunt pass out yet?” You asked as he took a drag, not bothering to pull your robe back into place as his gaze raked over you. “She do anything to help you out baby?”

He snarled at you and tossed the butt into the sink before stepping into you and ripping the robe off as he fought the urge to sink his teeth into your neck.

“You fucking bitch.” He hissed as his fingers dug into your breasts painfully, making you arch into his grip with a gasp. “Who gave you the right to come in here and talk to my wife, my kid?”

You whined as he bent to bury his face in your tits, his teeth skimming over the slopes of your breast as you felt arousal seep down the insides of your thighs.

“You fucking love it, Pronge.” You muttered as you wrapped your legs around his hips and buried your hands in his hair as he bit and sucked his way up to your throat. “You need me. That dumb little wife of yours can’t do anything for you. I bet she’s never even sucked that big cock of yours.” You brought a hand down to palm the bulge in his pajamas as you grinned before tugging his bottoms down and wrapping your hand around his dick. “That stupid cunt even notice when you come home with my marks all over you, or does she only let you fuck her with your clothes on like a good little catholic boy?”

He grabbed a dish towel and folded it lengthwise before wrapping it around your throat and turning you around with a growl. You moaned as he shoved his cock inside you, sheathing himself to the hilt as he tightened the towel around your neck.

He wrenched you up against his chest as he started to fuck you, turning your face with his grip on the towel so he could run his tongue over your cheek in a heavy stripe as you mewled.

“You goddamn bitch.” He snarled into your hair as his hips slapped against your ass, his grip on the towel growing tighter as you fought the urge to pass out. “I oughta blow your brains out the back of that pretty skull of yours. I’d do it if I didn’t think it’d start a fucking war.”

You just laughed in a thin wheeze as he pounded into you, your pussy fluttering around him as he restricted your air flow.

“Sure you would.” You said hoarsely as you thrust yourself back on his cock, meeting each of his thrusts desperately. “You’d miss this pussy after a week. You’ve never had a fuck as good as me, Pronge.”

He bit down on your ear lobe and brought a hand around to pinch your clit as you came apart. You reached over your shoulder to grip his hair as your chest heaved and your pussy clamped down on him, your release leaking out around his cock as you swallowed a scream.

You whined as he pulled out of you before throwing you to the floor and pouncing on you, drawing your knees up to your waist as he speared into you and you bit back a cry.

“You keep that fucking whore mouth shut.” He seethed as he ground against you, his cock already starting to twitch inside you.

He clapped his hand over your mouth as he thrust into you, grinding against you with each push of his hips as you tried to arch your back into him. You whined under his hand as he brushed his lips over your collarbone before bringing his face up to meet your eyes.

“God, you cunt.” He moaned as he felt you clamp down on him. “You goddamn slut.”

He ripped his palm from your mouth and crashed his lips to yours, swallowing your shriek as your orgasm crashed over you, your fingers raking over his back and leaving deep scratches as you squirted your release all over his kitchen floor. You grinned as he groaned into your mouth and filled you with his cum, his hips stuttering as he fucked his spend into you until it was leaking out around his cock.

You hummed contentedly as he rolled off of you, squeezing your thighs together as he stood up with a hiss and scowled at you over his shoulder.

“You look so good with my marks on your back, Bobby.” You purred, standing up and stretching. “You go ahead and crawl back into bead with that dead fish of a wife, I bet she won’t even notice.”

“You need to quit talking about my wife, kitten.” He grumbled as he pulled his pajamas back on. “And quit calling me that.”

You pulled your robe back on and slid next to him as he pulled a cigarette out of the drawer and lit it.

“I think you like it.” You murmured, taking the cigarette when he offered it and taking a long drag.

The phone rang suddenly and he moved quickly to answer it as you took another pull, opening the window above the sink and blowing the smoke out into the cold night air.

“Pronge.” He said as he lifted the receiver to his ear, taking the cigarette back from you as he listened to whoever was on the line. “Yeah? How much?”

He grabbed a pen and paper and started writing information down as you watched him, finishing off the butt and tossing it outside as you hopped up on the counter.

“She’s not at her place?” He said as he grinned at you. “Something tells me she’ll get the information.” He hung up the receiver and set down his notepad. “We’ve got a job.”

——————————————————————————

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#natalie writes #robert pronge x reader #robert pronge #mr freezy x reader #mr freezy x you #mr freezy smut #mr freezy #chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans character #dark fic #tw dark content #smoking #eighteen and over #eighteen plus #do not interact if you are a minor

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vexelier-suix-cipher · 3 years

Text

"Could you do Teruteru, Hifumi, and Ryoma getting drugged by a love potion and falls (even harder) for the reader (who has already fallen for them)?"

100% I can!! :D

Warnings: Mentions of love drug/potion, slight obsession(?), and swearing.

===

Hifumi Yamada

•Proceeds to rant about how amazing Hifumi is

•Fanfic boy loves you very much!! (Though he did his best to hide it)

•It felt like when a cat loved it owner. Celeste went out the window. This man would get on his hands and knees for you. 🙇🏽‍♂️

•You also loved him very much!! (Literally Taka had to keep Mondo from lunging at you two and screaming "JUST DATE ALREADY!!")

•Oh but what's this? A drink on his desk after a hard day of drawing and writing manga?

•Well of course he drank it!! He chugged that drink and felt quite satisfied after.

•And back to work he goes :›

•He had some music on and his script for his next manga, scribbling out the sketches for his newest manga when he felt the sudden urge to go see you.

•It was nothing too new. Could've been he just wanted to show you the script for his manga!! A beta read!

•So Hifumi happily found you and sat you down, showing you the script for his manga!

•He felt a bit- different.

•He felt like he needed to have you in his arms.

•He needed you closer.

•He needed- you.

•The even more clingy behavior continued for a few days.

•Though you didn't mind, you did find it a bit strange.

•Why was he so clingy?

•You already read this script-

•And read that one too-

•Didnt he have things to do?

•He was going to fall behind in his schedule if he continued like this!!

•So when you saw him walking over to you once again, you pulled him to the side and questioned him.

"Hifumi, you've been acting kinda strange these past few days. Are you okay? Don't get me wrong, I love having you by my side but you're going to fall behind in your schedule."

"Well...I don't really know how to explain it. I feel like I've got to be with you all the time!! A-And I'm getting work done!!"

•He huffed and whined for a while longer as you continued asking him things before he got frustrated with himself and finally blurted it out

"Fine!! Fine. I like you, okay? I have for a while a-and I just didn't know how to tell you-...I found this drink on my desk one day and now that I think about it, it could've been one of those love potions that I've been hearing about...could've made my feelings stronger.."

•He started muttering towards the end but you could understand the gist of it.

•You reassured him it was fine and that you accepted his feelings.

•Which was returned with a loud,

"HUH?!? YOU DO?! WHEN- HOW-"

•*Once again has to calm fanfic boy down*

•After calming him down (again) you went over your own feelings.

•He had the brightest smile on his face I swear

•He just couldn't hold back!

•So he picked you up and held you close, hugging you sweetly

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!"

===

Teruteru Hanamura

•AGGRESSIVELY RANTS ABOUT HOW AMAZING HE IS

•Love Potion exists?

•He probably bought it.

•This boy is already so head over heels for you it's absolutely adorable.

•He 100% cooks for you.

•Breakfast? In bed.

•Lunch? Made your favorite food.

•Dinner? You can eat with him! :D

•And his food is just 😩 to die for

•He does his best to tone down the sexual comments a bit, though he can't help if one or two slip out!

•Compliments you every 5 minutes no lie.

•Though he does turn cherry red if you compliment him

•If you allow petnames, he WILL call you darlin' and sugar the most.

•Now for the fun part

•He was most likey cooking and was working with the oven.

•Ovens hot. His clothes are pretty hot.

•So he stripped got something to drink out the fridge

•He blindly took a glass out the fridge and drank it.

•Drank the damn love potion-

•He knew he accidentally drank it. He read the label he had put on the glass right after he drank it.

•Unlike Hifumi, he tried staying away from you

•Poor boy doesn't know how to show such strong feelings :(

•He still does cook for you though

•And leaves you little snacks

•Did yelp when you came into the kitchen once without him knowing (it's true I was the dust on the oven window)

•Alot more fiddly and nervous when he has to go ask you something

•His gaze is towards the floor and he's playing with the ends of his scarf as that adorable accent decorates his speech

•Hes so nervous oh poor baby

•You found him scurrying everywhere once trying to find his hat when you had to point out it was on his head-

•He was so embarrassed-

•He apologized and walked back towards the kitchen

•He cooks his feelings away

•That is alot of food-

•Once he disappeared into the kitchen you went after him

•You had been wondering why he ran away from you every time you saw him

•You were worried :(

•As he went back into the kitchen, he paused hearing someone else's footsteps.

•He turned around and jumped slightly when he saw you

•Begin the anxious southern rambling and questions.

"O-Oh! S/o! What brings you to the...the kitchen??"

"Teru, what's going on? You keep ignoring me."

"W-Well I don' mean to cher' I-Its just I' been kinda stressed lately a-an' I don' wanna bother you with tha'-"

•Oh sweet boy almost cried just talking to you

•He wanted to confess so badly!!

•He just wanted to hug you and bury his face into your neck!!

•But he was so scared :(

•After a good talk, the confession just slipped out of him mid-sentence

"I already apologized cher'..."

"C'mon Teru, what's been REALLY happening with you?"

"W-Well...the truth is I accidentally drank a love potion and since I love you so damn much it strengthened my feelings...I-I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable so I stayed away in case I-"

"Did you just say you love me?"

"I-I did..?"

•Oh certainly he did. And when he realized, he apologized 10x more.

•You had to shut him up by squishing his face

•After a good explanation about you loving him too, he clung onto you with a laugh.

•He sat in your lap (and after some consent) kissed your face all over, muttering a soft 'I love you' after each kiss

•You two sat together like that for quite a bit, just laying in each other's presence

"Thank you so much....you don't know how much that means to me...how much YOU mean to me..."

===

Ryoma Hoshi

•Ah yes. Tiny, edgy, ex-tennis, cat loving, deep voiced boy

•Where do I start?

•Lets start with

•He's absolute shit at feelings.

•Like really.

•He refused to believe he fell for you.

•His heart was racing? No it wasn't. It's probably because he was out of breath.

•He's flustered and blushing? Kinda hot in the room y'know.

•You get the point.

•He hates the fact he fell for you. He doesn't know what to do.

•He lost almost everyone he ever loved before. Why would this be any different? He didn't want to put you in danger.

•Ryoma hanged around with you though. He was a bit quiet but he went basically everywhere you went

•No one really messed with you when little man was with you.

•This was okay. He could hide his feelings. You wouldn't be in danger and he wouldn't ruin his relationship with you.

•Then the world announced a love potion was now available!!

•Ah shit.

•That damn Kokichi.

•All he wanted was some water and that little panta-loving gremlin switched it out with the new potion.

•He had already chugged around half the bottle before he realized it wasn't his juice.

•Ryoma would've just left it at 'Oh I just poured the wrong drink in' if it wasn't for Kokichi coming up to him about an hour later.

"Nishishishi....how's the love potion working Ryoma?"

"The what."

"Oops~"

"You little-"

•Kokichi went to the nurse with a bump on his head from Ryoma hitting him with a tennis ball.

•You thought Teruteru hiding away was bad?

•Ryoma refused to leave his dorm.

•He came out at around lunch time to get food, go to the bathroom, and then back to his dorm.

•No one was allowed in.

•He could feel the effects of the potion working.

•He wanted to get out and cling to you so badly. It almost physically hurt

•Fucking hell-

•Him. Ryoma Hoshi. The guy who basically gave up on life, wanted to run into your arms like a little kid.

•He almost cried.

•Of course you were worried!! He locked himself in his dorm without warning!!

•And he refused to talk to you!!

•You came to his dorm door almost daily, trying to pry open the damn door.

•With no avail.

•Goddammit.

•It wasn't until a few weeks later which he made a plan.

•He'd confess and leave right after.

•If you said no, that would be the end of it.

•If you said yes, ...well he didn't really plan that far.

•Ryoma met up with you at the back of the building, looking down at the ground as he heard your footsteps.

•It took a minute of small talk before he started speaking

"Listen, Kokichi switched my drink out a few weeks ago for that new love potion they're selling. I already had really strong feelings for you but with the potion they increased. I know you probably don't feel the same way but I wanted to tell you because it was starting to get too out of hand for me."

•He rambled on a little about how you would never like him and that he apologized for having such feelings and-

•You yanked his beanie down to his face, letting out a small huff.

"Ryoma Hoshi you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to confess. You're an amazing guy Ryoma, and I really do wish you confessed sooner since I feel the same way. Now shut it with all the sad shit and come here."

•You told him, tugging him closer by the sleeve as you engulfed him in your arms

•Ryoma felt like his face was on fire. Butterflies in his stomach and a giddy, tingly feeling throughout his body

•He let out a low chuckle, hugging you back and sighing softly

•This was nice. He felt....loved.

•He liked this feeling quite a bit....he had missed this feeling quite a bit.

"Maybe I should've confessed sooner."

===

AHHHHHHHH I HOPE YOU LIKED IT-

I absolutely adore these three.

If you want me to add or fix anything just say the word!!

I had a great time writing this!!

Thanks for requesting!!!

-Vex ∆

#ryoma hoshi x reader #ryoma hoshi #hifumi yamada #hifumi yamada x reader #teruteru hanamura #teruteru hanamura x reader #danganronpa #dr2 #goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #thank you for requesting!#-Vex ∆

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barzyyy · 3 years

Note

I’m hella in my feels. Break my heart.

one too many.

a/n: prepare yourselves for this one. TW: includes mention of death, alcohol/heavy drinking and self-depricating thoughts. it is heavy. please read at your own discretion. my dm’s are open if anyone needs to talk!

italics = flashback.

read this first, if you haven’t already.

————————————

mat could feel the alcohol meeting his stomach. when did he become this way? he knew that he was not in a condition to be drinking as much as he was. he hadn’t eaten in at least a day. somehow the simplest tasks have become the most difficult.

it didn’t help that it was the offseason. all of his teammates were off on vacation. the jealousy quickly turned into resentment. he deleted all of his social media apps because he couldn’t bear to see anyone else happy. he locked himself inside your once shared house, alone. what used to feel like home now felt unsafe. with every corner he turned, there was something that reminded him of you. lipstick on the counter, your shoes kicked off next to the couch, he left them all in the same spot, praying that this was all a dream and that you would come walking through the door again.

he couldn’t get himself to come to terms with reality.

he drunkely stumbled to the couch, mindlessly turning on the tv and surfing through the channels. he landed on a random channel because his thoughts were overtaking him once again.

mat dreamed of being a dad. you both used to talk about starting a family of your own. would your kids have mat’s hair and your eyes? which one of your personalities would they adopt? he wanted so badly to look through the glass at a game and see you standing on the other side with your baby. he wanted to raise a son and teach him all he knew about how to play. he wanted a little girl to put makeup on him and make him sing the songs of all of her favorite disney princesses.

now, he didn’t want a family at all. you were going perfect mother. no one could ever compete with you. and now that you’re gone, he promised himself that no one would ever take your place. sure, he could have kids with someone else, but they would never be the kids he would have had with you. he didn’t want it.

it was easier to put up a wall and block out the feelings. his grief of losing you was too much for him to handle. he would rather just push everything out, experiencing nothing rather than experiencing everything all at once. every time he thought of you, another part of him was taken away. he was a shell of who he once was.

things would have been different if he had went home to you. had he not gone out to the bar with his teammates after the game, you would have never been in the accident. there would have been no reason for you to go over to your friend’s house. now, instead of remembering the celebratory reason why he went out, his memory was plagued by the phone call he received as he got the worst news of his life.

mat could feel the alcohol meeting his stomach. who was he to turn down free alcohol? getting the game winning goal in game 7 made him feel like he was on top of the world. fans in the bar were covering mat’s tab, and he was partying with all of his teammates. out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone light up with your caller i.d. and his favorite picture of the two of you. he picked it up and started walking through the mass of people to find a quieter place as he answered the call.

“babe, you won’t believe how many people are here! everyone is buying me drinks and-“

“hello?”

the manly voice was unrecognizable. mat stopped in his tracks.

“who is this?” he questioned.

“this is tom haltford, i’m a paramedic with the long island fire department. do you have a relationship with (y/n) barzal?” he asked.

he immediately sobered up. “she’s my wife, what is going on?” his heart was beating out of his chest.

“sir, i regret to inform you that your wife was in an accident. she was in a head-on collision with an impaired driver. she is currently being transported to nassau university medical center. do you have a safe way of getting there? i can send a police officer to pick you up.”

mat could only muster one sentence.

“is she alive?”

silence.

“i am sending an officer to your location. i am so sorry.”

what brought him out of his trance was the feeling of tears hitting his hand. he had not realized that he was crying, but did nothing to stop the onset of emotions that were to come. he buried his head in his hands, taking in the weight of the fact that you would have still been here had he not decided to go out. his shoulders heaved, but he stayed silent. he sobbed for a half an hour straight.

silence was something mat was becoming all too familiar with. he could no longer listen to the radio because every song he heard remided him of you. he didn’t dare go outside, because he couldn’t stop the jealousy that arose when he saw a couple out together. the best he could do was stay at home. his interaction was limited. when he did eat, all he did was get it delivered. even then, his options were scarce because he didn’t want to eat anything that felt significant to your relationship. he no longer ordered take out from your shared favorite thai restaurant down the street. he avoided anything that remided himself of you.

he would have teammates, family and friends text him every now and again to check in. he made it a point at your funeral to promise that he would reach out if he needed help. deep down, he knew from the beginning that those promises were as hollow as the newly-formed void in his heart.

maybe the irony of it all was that what killed you was the same thing he was using to self medicate. over time, one beer turned into to three, then six. he felt as if it was his only escape - alcohol only solidifed the numbness that he had been feeling. but tonight, he knew that he had gone overboard. there were freshly-chugged beer bottles on the table, and the only thing stopping him from taking some of your sleeping pills was his hope that you would come back for them. in addition to the beer, he was down a glass and a half of wine when his body finally began to reject the liquid. he tried to run to the bathroom, but the closest place he could make it was the kitchen sink. his stomach uncontrollably emptied itself, and he was left gasping in between his heaves. when he was done, he ran his hands under the sink and put water on his face. pulling the kitchen towel from the oven to wipe off his face, he looked up and his eyes were met with the picture on your counter from the wedding.

he was in immediate tears as he saw you walking down the aisle. your dress perfectly hugged your curves and your smile had been the biggest he’d ever seen. he felt a soft nudge from behind him.

”stay strong man, stay strong.” beau whispered, trying to help mat preserve any ounce that was left of his ego.

“bro, i can’t.” he whispered back, tears running down his face. at that point, you began to cry, and then the whole room was crying.

you both struggled through the tears to read eachother your vows. you were so impressed with how heartfelt his were.

“you helped me learn who i was outside of hockey, and i still fall in love with you every single day. ...and you’re a smokin’ 10, too. so that’s a plus.”

the after party was absolutely insane. you danced and drank the night away with your closest family and friends. you were talking to your best friend when mat came stumbling over to you, hugged you and said “can you believe we’re fucking MARRIED BABE?”

that was it. he couldn’t give up on life anymore. who he was becoming was scaring him. he knew that this is not what you would want. with a shaking hand and a breaking heart, he haphazardly picked up his phone and dialed the first number he could think of. there was an answer halfway through the first ring.

“hey man, you all good?”

inbetween sobs, his words slurred together. “beau, i need you.”

——————————————————

#islanders #mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #nhl imagine #nyislanders #prompt #hockey #fanfic #barzal #mathew barzal #barzy

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fiveisnumber1 · 3 years

Text

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31

_________________________

Pt 31 - Commission Issues

As you zoned out looking at the sky and wondering about the possibilities of what would come next you hear Luther call out behind you,

"Five!"

Coming back to reality you turn towards the sound and watch as Luther follows Five back into the apartment building. You decide to follow them as well but not before looking at Klaus and Ben on the ground and say,

"Whatever that was, I'm going to ignore it but you two need to figure out where the others went while I help Five with whatever idea he has next, okay?"

"Uhh...sure" Klaus groans as he stands up

"Fine, we will," Ben adds

You nod your head and turn around rushing to follow the two boys who were heading inside the building. As you followed them up the staircase you could hear Luther exclaim,

"Hey! Five, doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."

"Don't you get it, Luther? It's over, all right? We're already dead." Five complains

"Then where are you going?" Luther questions

"I'm going to do the unthinkable." Five replies frustratedly "The hell is that supposed to mean?" Luther follows up

As the three of you enter the apartment you hear Five mumble to himself, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."

With that, he enters what used to be Elliott's bedroom and shuts and locks the door behind him. Luther leans up against it knocking and yelling, "Come to what, Five? Five! Come to what? Five!"

Luther bangs on the door calling out Five's name over and over again to no response. You step next to Luther and when he looks down at you, you say,

"Let me talk to him."

Luther nods at you knowing that you were probably the best option to talk to him. If anybody was going to calm down and reason with him, it was going to be you. As Luther walks away to the living room portion of the apartment, you phase through the bedroom door. Once you enter, you watch as Five paces back and forth complaining to himself,

"All we had to do was get together on time. That was it! those idiots screw everything up."

"Five..." You say

"I do everything to try and save us from impending doom and I can't even rely on them for the simplest of tasks!" He continues to complain

"Five." You try again

"I bet they'll blame it all on me again too!"

"Five!" You call out grabbing his hand

Five stops pacing and his head snaps towards you.

"What?!" He snapped

You were taken aback by his outburst, your eyes going wide at the harsh tone of his voice. You could see the frustration on his face and the anger in his eyes. You knew deep down that he was just worried, but sometimes his emotions didn't come easy and it hurt you to see him so upset.

Five was done with the constant threat of the apocalypse. With not being listened to and with plan after plan to get everyone home failing. He wanted to run away from it all but then he saw the shocked look on your face, and his mind flashed back to all those years ago when you both were children. He recalled the anger and frustration he felt at his father not listening to him and not believing in his ability to time travel. The rage that burned inside him because things had not gone the way he wanted. And he remembered the way you held onto him and the shocked look on your face as he took his anger out on you. Those moments, that day, burned themselves into his mind and plagued him through his whole life. He had always regretted that day, and probably always would but there was no way he was going to make the same mistake twice. Five's head looked down shamefully as he quietly apologized,

"I'm sorry..."

Letting go of his hand you take a step forward and gently cradle his face in your hands, tilting his head up slightly so he can look at you. You look into his eyes and the anger you saw before was replaced with pain. Softly you cooed,

"It's okay darling."

"No. It's not. I shouldn't have done it." Five replied hurt "We both remember the last time I took my anger out on you and look how great that turned out."

Five turned his head slightly to look away from you. He couldn't believe himself for directing his anger towards you when you didn't do anything wrong. When you've never done anything wrong. If anything he had done wrong towards you. You knew Five regretted the day you both traveled through time. He had mentioned it to you a few times but sometimes he'd have a far-off look and you could just tell that his thoughts of that day were consuming him again. He lived with so much pain due to his actions and their consequences and you wished you could just take it all away. You tilted his face back towards you and tried to comfort him,

"Five, I don't blame you for what happened that day, it was the result of years of cruelty from your father, and no offense to them, but your siblings have let you down consistently over what has only been two weeks for you. You had and have every right to be upset."

"You're correct but that didn't and doesn't make it right for me to take it out on you." Five calmly explained "It was wrong then and it's wrong now. I'm sorry."

"It's okay my love." you forgive

"How can you be so forgiving of me? After everything I've done?" Five questions

"Five I knew who you were before that day, and I know you now. People make mistakes, and you're no exception, but it's the actions you took after them that prove you're a good person and worthy of forgiveness." You inform

Five just looks at you for a second before stepping forward and wrapping you tightly in his arms. You remove your hands from his face and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him back. He loved you so much and god knows what he would do if he lost you again. He didn't want to lose his family either. He'd never say it especially because he's tried to show it to no avail, but he cared about his siblings. They were his family and he wanted them to live just as much as he wanted you to. The apocalypse was coming and time was running out for you and his family. And that worried him. As you hug him, you can feel his face bury into the crook of your neck. Gently, you stroke his hair as he quietly says,

"They make it so hard. I just want you all to live."

"I know, but you have a brilliant mind and I know you'll figure out how to get us out of here." You whisper back to him

Five shakes his head on your shoulder before he lifts his head to rest his forehead against yours.

"I don't deserve you." He remarks

"Say that again and I'll kill you." you threaten

Five lets out a light chuckle and a smirk comes to his face. He could not tell how serious your statement was but he found your threat of violence to be cute anyway. You and Five pull your faces back from each other and Five just looks at you for a second. He truly did not know how he could live without you. Nodding his head, Five straightened up and said,

"Alright, I have a hail mary plan in mind but I have to figure out some details first."

"Okay. While you do that I think I'm going to go check to see if Charlie is around. No guarantees he's come this way yet but just in case he has I want to let him know I'm okay." You reply

You nod your head at him and start to walk away but when you get to the door you turn back to look at him again and add,

"If you figure out your plan and I'm not back, just go without me I'll wait here."

"Okay." Five replies "I love you."

"I love you too."

You then exit the room and let your boyfriend be. He was going to need the time and space to figure out what to do. As you walk out you see that Luther had passed out on the couch in the living room. Stopping the apocalypse was a pretty tiring affair. You walked out of the apartment and looked around the street. It was pretty barren and a lot of shops were closed given that JFK was in town. Most people had probably headed downtown to see the motorcade later today. it sure would be eventful. You couldn't really see Charlie's car anywhere and you were about to turn around when you hear what sounded like a woman yell out,

"HELP!"

Immediately, your instincts kicked in and you ran towards the voice screaming out. Following it down an alley you stopped and looked around for who was in danger. Before you could turn around though something jabbed into your back and you started to feel dizzy. You tried to fight off whatever was happening but it was too late and you collapsed to the group. As your consciousness started to fade in and out, the last thing you heard was someone saying,

"I'm sure your brother will be happy to see you."

Back at the apartment, Five had finally come to terms with his plan. He needed to intercept the last person he'd want to see in this timeline. Himself. An older-looking version of him had arrived in Dallas no more than 10 minutes ago to kill President Kennedy and although it was risky, if they could get the briefcase from him, Five knew he could get his family home. He needed to prepare though. Rushing out of the bedroom, Five heads towards the kitchen and loudly opens the refrigerator door. The sound of the fridge causes Luther to wake. And as he gets up from the couch he calls out,

"Five? Five?"

Five ignored the calls as he grabbed a container of water and started to chug it down. When Luther entered the kitchen he looked upon the sight before him of Five intensely drinking water. Furrowing his eyebrows, Luther asks confused,

"Five, you okay?"

Five gasps heavily as he finishes the water and puts the container back in the fridge. "I'm gonna need to be hydrated." Five states

"Hydrated?" Luther questions

Luther watches as Five frantically looks around the kitchen for something before having his eyes lock on the kitchen table. Five walks over to it and quickly grabs a bottle of baby powder off of it before sprinkling some down each sleeve of his shirt and then some down his pants. Luther grew concerned about what was going on as he inquires,

"What's with the baby powder?" "It'll help with the itching." Five responds "What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asks before realizing "You do have a plan." Five does a few jumps and shakes to even out the baby powder he had practically doused himself in. Grabbing his jacket from the chair he walks past Luther into the living room of Elliott's apartment and explains, "Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

Luther turns to look at his sibling and asks, "No choice about what?"

"I have to find myself." Five states looking at his watch "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago." "Should I be worried about you?"

Five puts his academy jacket back on before bending over and starting to stretch. If he was going to do this he needed to know he was dexterous enough to fight or run after himself. With his younger body and surplus of energy, it probably wouldn't be that hard. Then again it was only two weeks ago when he was still working for the commission as well, and even in his old age, he was taking people out left and right. As he stretches Five explains,

"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated." "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there." Luther says

Five stood up and looked at his brother. Finally, the wheels in Luther's big monkey brain were starting to turn and he was starting to grasp the plan Five had come up with. "Precisely." Five states "What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther asks confused

Nevermind. The monkey brain was still a monkey brain. Realizing his nitwit brother would not understand unless he described it in the same way he'd talk to a six-year-old, Five emphasized, "Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."

Luther's eyes go wide and a surprised expression appears on his face as Five watches the lightbulb finally goes off in Luther's head. It was honestly disappointing how long it took for that to happen. "Oh, my God. Five, you're a genius!" Luther exclaims

He may be a genius but the plan wasn't perfect though. There were significant flaws in it but it was a hail-mary for a reason. Turning to Luther, Five elaborates, "However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous." "Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther inquires

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage." Five explains "Homicidal rage?" Luther questions

"Yeah." Five states "Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea." "It's a Hail Mary. But what choice do we got, Luther?" Five exclaims "I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest." "Look, Luther, I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one, all right? I...I need a spotter." "A spotter?"

"Yeah."

"What is that? Like, a wingman?" Luther questions

"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?" Five explains

"Okay, but where's (Y/N)?" Luther questions looking around

"I don't know. She said she was going on a walk to find Charlie but I guess hasn't come back yet." Five states "Maybe it's better that way though."

"You don't want your girlfriend coming? Don't you think she could rationalize with you more than I can if things get bad with this paradox psychosis?" Luther states concerned

"Most likely, and honestly I wouldn't mind some more steadiness from her" Five says

He then stops for a moment to think about the events at the Lonely Lodger Inn from earlier. He wouldn't mind that at all.

"Five?" Luther calls

Pulled from his thoughts he looks back to Luther and continues to explain,

"BUT if she's not there I can use my knowledge of her as leverage against myself. 45 years ago was the last time he saw her alive. He's sad, desperate, and blames himself for her death. We can use his emotional turmoil to get the briefcase if necessary."

Luther looked at his brother shocked. He knew where Five was coming from but it was almost vile considering using you against the other version of himself. Like he had said that version of him is sad, desperate, and blames himself for your death. Withholding knowledge about you just to get the briefcase would probably be on torture levels for him. Luther knew how strongly Five felt about you and the two of you were together now, so he could only imagine what could happen with the version that hasn't seen you in years.

"You're going to use your girlfriend like blackmail against yourself?"

"As I said, if necessary I will." Five comments as he starts to walk away "Now, come on Luther."

"Right..." Luther says to himself

Leaving out of the apartment the two of them head out in search of Five's Commission self. Although both still wondered where you were.

____________________________

As you started to regain your consciousness the world around you began to flood your senses. Your mind felt fogged as your head rested heavily on a cold surface. Your eyelids drooped but you tried to open them to see where you were. Through blurred vision, you were able to make out an empty grey room. It reminded you of the interrogation room at the police station Eudora worked at. This definitely wasn't the alley you were in. You moved your body around and with enough force, you manage to get yourself upright but your heavy head still hung low. As you became upright you could feel your backside hit the backing of the chair you were in. You moved your arms trying to readjust yourself but as you did so you hear the sounds of clanking and realized there was something around your wrists. You were handcuffed.

"Maybe Charlie was right about not running towards danger." You groan

It felt like your physical being and consciousness were both moving through sludge. Whatever that person injected into you to knock you out was sure as hell powerful. You tried to think of a plan to get out but all of them involved your powers and you could just feel the fatigue run through your veins from the sedative. Taking some breaths you tried to figure out where you were and where to go from here. Listening carefully you could hear the buzzing of the light above you but also the sounds of people walking and chattering outside the room you were in. Gathering energy, you threw your head back so that it was facing up towards the ceiling. You moved your eyes around and spotted a door to the left of you. There were no real defining characteristics to let you know where you were. Maybe Reggie had informed the government about you and now the FBI or CIA was going to use you as a weapon of mass destruction. Maybe the Soviets had kidnapped you and were going to use you as ransom to the US government because apparently, the world saw you as the adoptive daughter of an eccentric billionaire. Either way, you didn't know where you were and you didn't know how to get out. Overall, this was a very bad situation. Without any other real options, you sat there and waited for something to happen. As you did so you could hear the door open and the sound of someone walking into the room before closing the door behind them.

"Good, you're awake." The voice commented

You knew that voice. It was the same one as the person who had knocked you out. Although you were still too sluggish to do anything about your situation you could feel a fire start to build. Rolling your head to the side you looked towards the figure. Across the other side of a table stood a woman in all black clothes with a late 90s grunge cut with a fake smile on her face. Narrowing your eyes at them you demanded,

"Where am I?"

"You're at the Temps Commission." They responded

"Fuck." You said under your breath

This was worse than you thought, and now you were wishing you were captured by the KGB or US government. You had no clue what they knew nor what they wanted from you and since you couldn't fight back, the best course of action was to stay quiet. No matter what, you would not reveal any information about the Hargreeves but especially Five. They had been on his ass ever since he returned to 2019 and you were not going to let them get to him. The woman before you looked over as you sat in silence.

"What, no more questions?" They inquire "I feel like you'd have a lot more given who I am."

"I have no clue who you are." You remark

"Lila?"

Oh. Her. Great. Letting out an annoyed huff you stare at her with an unimpressed expression.

"Ah yes, now I recall," You comment, sarcasm laced in your voice "You're my emotionally damaged, older brother's sloppy seconds hookup, who in reality is a vomit bag of lies and manipulation."

"Listen here you little prick, I'm his girlfriend." She snaps

"You ain't shit. His girlfriend is a corpse, six feet under and somehow she's still better than you." You scoff

As your confidence grew, you started to realize that the sedative was wearing off more. You started to feel less sluggish and although physically you couldn't do much your mind became clearer. You didn't want to tip Lila off that you were regaining your strength though so you stayed in your slumped position but kept a cocky look on your face. Lila slams her hands down on the table and stares at you intensely.

"I should kill you." She threatens

"Do it. I'm sure that'll go over real well with my brother." You remark sarcastically

"You a bigger pain in the ass than Five." She remarks annoyed

"Good." You reply curtly

The two of you stare each other down intensely, neither of you saying anything. After a few moments, Lila remarks,

"You're an asshole."

"And you're the walking embodiment of sad British cooking. Fucking basic beans and toast looking ass bitch." You retort

You watch and Lila's face contorted with a flurry of emotions. Shock, confusion, anger. They were all present. Lila then stands up straight once more and in a monotone voice states,

"I have a meeting to go to."

Turning away from you she heads to the door. As she does so you shout behind her,

"Ha! That's right, leave! And just know if I could flip you off right now I would!"

As Lila steps out of the room you can hear her say to someone,

"You watch over her for now and bring her to my mother's office in 15 minutes. Understood?"

And as Lila fully leaves the room another woman steps in. Closing the door behind her, she looks through the glass window of the door as if trying to check for something before pulling the curtain down. Locking the door she walks over to the table and pulls up a chair across from you. With her hands clasped nicely on the table, she gives you a genuine wide smile and says,

"Hiya! I'm Dot!"

You looked at the woman before you. She seemed kind but this was also the Temps Commission so you had your reservations about trusting her.

"(Y/N)..."

"Oh, I know!" She replies in an upbeat tone "And let me tell you, a lot of us down at case management are so happy for you and Five. A lot of us wish the process was sped up but we have no real say in any decisions here but gosh we're just so happy for you two."

You stared at her blankly. She seemed sincere in her congrats, but part of you worried this was just some ploy to get you to let your guard down. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair and quietly commented back,

"Uh...thanks."

Dot let out a small sigh as her smile faltered a bit. Giving you a soft expression she lowers her voice and states,

"Listen, I know you're probably hesitant to trust me but if I'm going to get you out of here you're going to need to."

"I'm not going to trust anybody here. Five has told me all about you all." You state

"I understand. Let me just do something to prove you can trust me. Please just don't run after I do it. It'll cause a whole lotta trouble for the both of us." Dot says

You watch as she gets up from her seat and walks behind you. You try to turn your head as best as you can to see what she's doing but between the sedative still working its way out of your system and the fact you could not turn your head like an owl it was difficult. You watch as she crouches down for a second and then you hear the sound of something clattering to the ground. Dot walks back to her chair and sits down. As she does that you realize the clattering sound was that of your handcuffs falling to the floor. She had let you go knowing there was a chance you would run away. If you were able to move better maybe you would but that wasn't a possibility yet and you were a little curious as to what was up with her now. Shaking your wrists out a bit, Dot comments to you,

"You're free now, but please don't run. Let me get you out of here the right way."

"Get me out of here? What do you mean?" You questioned as you rested your arms on the table

Dot looked around the room once more checking to make sure nothing was there to see and hear her. Looking back towards you she explains,

"The Handler is trying to take over the commission. I and a few other folks are part of an underground resistance effort to try and stop her, because if she takes the reigns of this whole place we have no clue what will happen, but we know it won't be good."

"What do you know then?" You question, leaning forward in your seat

"From what we can infer, she wants the apocalypse to happen and she wants it to wipe out Five and the rest of the Hargreeves. But Lila obviously has a soft spot for your brother and brought him here."

"My brother Diego." You state

You knew that it was Diego who she brought. Of course, it was. Logically, it was the only answer that made sense. Hell, she thought she was his girlfriend. And yet, there was a part of you that thought about your other brother, Dean. You knew it was unlikely that he was here. It was virtually impossible, but maybe if he was all of your friends were here too. The look on your face must've said what you were thinking because Dot reached across the table and took your hands in her own.

"I'm sorry about your other brother." She consoled

Your heart clenched at those words. Taking a deep breath you attempted to ask,

"I'm guessing he..."

"Yes." Dot answered, "Along with the rest of your friends."

You looked down and nodded your head lightly. You knew how the world ended. You knew that the reality you had known, did end. And yet, somehow up until now, you had been able to block out the true gravity of the situation. You remembered how you joked with Charlie that he was the only friend you had left and to stay away from fireplaces or else you would have no one. You truly had not grieved their loss for years and instead had evaded it with humor or distractions. But now you were faced with the truth that you had always known. Your friends were dead. The apocalypse killed them. You held Dot's hands a little tighter as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to keep the tears that were forming back. With eyes still closed, you took a few small breaths before quietly asking,

"How did it happen?"

There was a silence in the room as the air loomed heavy over the two of you. Dot then took a breath before answering,

"In their last moments, they were all together singing happy birthday to your friend Kenny."

You lifted your head towards Dot and opened your eyes. You nodded your head as you managed to fight back your grief and replied softly.

"...at least Dean kept his promise."

"I know this is difficult for you to deal with especially since things are already so stressful but we can get them back." Dot states calmly

"How?" You inquired

If you had a chance to save the Hargreeves, and get your friends back, you would take it, no matter what. You loved them all and nothing was going to stop you from keeping them alive.

"In the simplest of terms, stop The Handler, Stop the 1963 apocalypse, and return the original timeline."

"I'm in." You reply without hesitation "What do I need to do?"

"Lila knows that you matter more to Diego than she does, so she brought you here to use you to keep Diego in line. We're going to head to the Handler's office soon so Lila can use you as said bait. What you need to do is still pretend that you are too sedated to actually fight or anything." Dot starts to explain

"Pretend? I am still too sedated to fight." You state confused

"Not for long though." She replies "I went to our Metaphysics Division laboratory-"

She had to be joking right? The whole concept of the Temps Commission was crazy enough but a Metaphysics Division was honestly ridiculous to you. Cutting her off you sarcastically questioned,

"Metaphysics Division? What do they do? Turn decades into candy? Synthesize a person's memories from their DNA into an injectable? Create bodies for consciousness to be transferred into?"

"They already did the first one, I'm sure they could do the second if they tried, and they accomplished the last one until Five blew up the briefcase room which unfortunately shared a wall with the lab. They moved the lab location to a safer spot after that." Dot explained, "Point being, I stole a vile of adrenaline for you."

"Because adrenaline helps bring back my powers. That's genius." You compliment

"Yes. So during the meeting, you're just going to pretend that you're still very sedated but after that, we move into phase 2."

"And what's that?" You ask

"We're getting you out of here and back to Five."

With that, Dot pulls the vial of adrenaline and a packaged medical needle out of her pocket and slides them across the table to you.

"I'm not sure what your limit is so I don't want to be the one to inject it. Also, as a fair warning, we don't have much time until I need to take you to the Handler's office." Dot explains

You nodded your head at her and grab the vial and needle. You had watched Kenny do this enough times for you that you felt you could figure it out on your own with minimal problems. Opening the packaged needle you go through the steps to fill it with the adrenaline from the vile before injecting it into your arm. You weren't sure how much you were supposed to give yourself but you felt much more energized even in the few minutes after doing so. Dot turned to you and you knew from the look on her face that it was time to go. Grabbing the handcuffs from the floor you handed them to Dot before putting your hands behind your back. Once they were on you got yourself in the headspace of pretending to be somewhat sedated and started acting less alert and coordinated.

"Are you ready?" Dot questioned

"Yup. Let's set this plan in motion." You reply

Dot then unlocks the door and the two of you walk out of the room down the halls of the commission towards the Handler's office. In the office though, the Handler looked in disbelief at Lila and her pick for new commission security detail.

"Are you kidding me?" The Handler exclaims

"You said I could hire my own team." Lila states "Yes, but I didn't mean him, for God's sake. If you don't see the problem with hiring you-know-who's brother, then you're not ready for that badge." The Handler complains

Diego looks at the scene before him of the back and forth between mother and daughter. This was going nowhere and he was not meant to be here. Trying to get up and leave he says, "I'm sorry, but I really need to get going." "Shut up!" They both yell at him

Diego slowly sits back down in his seat as the two of them go back and forth with each other. "I can't do this job if you don't trust my instincts," Lila complains "Sweetheart, your vagina needs glasses. He is not worth it." The Handler criticizes "Mum! Oh, my God."Lila exclaims embarrassed before changing her tune "This may shock you, but not everyone here likes you."

The Handler looks at Lila confused as she states, "Sounds ridiculous, but go on." "You need fresh blood loyal to us and not the old regime. I've seen Diego in the field. He is so much better trained than most of the assholes here. Why waste that when we can use it? He'll be my personal responsibility." Lila explains to her mother

The Handler turns her attention from Lila to Diego.

"You know, your brother Five and I have quite a colorful history." The handler playfully comments with a wink

Diego looks at her confused and disgusted. He hoped to god that she wasn't insinuating what he thought she was because if so he was going to kick Five's ass. Trying to both change the topic, and gage what she meant Diego replies, "My brother has beef with all except one person, and that person is not me." Diego retorts "Let me ask you something. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, where do your loyalties lie, with your family or your principles?" The Handler asks "With me. I don't belong to anybody. Especially Lila." Diego retorts

The handler stares Diego down for a bit and there is a silence in the air. Turning back to Lila she states, "That I can work with. Run him through orientation and fill out his paperwork."

A wide smile comes to Lila's face as she happily exclaims, "Aw, thanks, Mum! I'm glad you're on board, but just to be sure he behaves I do have an insurance policy in place."

"A what?" Diego questioned

The door then opened from behind him. You had been waiting on the other side of the wall with Dot for a few minutes for some kind of signal to enter the room. You guessed Lila wanted dramatic effect, which was very villain-esque and very cliche. Walking into the room you made sure that you looked physically weak so that they wouldn't feel like you had the full ability to fight them again. Dot sat you down in a chair in between Diego and Lila before walking back outside of the room. Turning to your brother you smile at him and comment,

"Hey Eggo, how's it going? Did you get drugged and kidnapped as well?"

Diego's pulse begins to quicken as he looks between you and Lila. Anger started to build inside of him as his eyes locked on Lila. She looked at him from her seat with confusion.

"Diego, what's wrong?" She questioned

Diego couldn't believe that it was even a question of what could be wrong. How could she not see the awful nature of what she had done? Shooting up from his chair, Diego moves to place himself between you and Lila. He wasn't going to let her get any closer to you. She had already hurt you once and there was no way he was going to let it happen again. Not on his watch.

"What's wrong?" He questioned rhetorically before yelling "YOU DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED MY SISTER!"

Lila did not fully think this plan through. She knew that Diego had a soft spot for you so she knew she could use you to help get him to stay and work as security. What she had not anticipated was his anger. She thought he would be a little upset but still happy to have you with him. That was not looking like the case though. Standing up as well, Lila tries to downplay the severity of what she had done.

"Diego, calm down, she's fine. A little sedated but fine." Lila explains with some nervous laughter

"Fine would be her not being here at all Lila!" Diego rebuked

The Handler looked at the lover's quarrel going on between the two of them. It was unexpected but it revealed a side of Diego that was unknown before. It was impressive that Lila had thought ahead to bring in the one loyalty that Diego had so that he would be less likely to act out.

"I see you do have some loyalties..." The Handler comments "Good thinking on the blackmail sweetheart."

As you quietly sat handcuffed, trying to pretend that you had no ability to use your powers, you couldn't help but get irritated at Lila and Diego. Feeling the need to add your input, you cut in commenting,

"Y'know...I'm just putting it out there, but Eudora never would've drugged and kidnapped me to use me as blackmail because she was actually a good person."

"Shut up." Lila scolds, glaring at you

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Diego reprimands

"Yeah! Fuck you, beans and toast." You add

"What?" Diego asks looking down at you confused

"Just roll with it." You whisper back to him

"Diego," Lila calls bringing his attention back to her "Look at it this way. At least she's with you her brother and not her awful boyfriend, Five."

"He's a pain in my ass, and I don't like sharing her but he's not an awful boyfriend. Everything he has done is for her." Diego replies

"I'm telling him you said that." You mention

Diego once again turns to look at you and in the sternest of tones he states,

"No."

He then turns back to Lila and continues to explain,

"And second of all, I'd rather her be with him than here because then at least I know she's protected."

The Handler was becoming less and less amused by this argument the more it went on. Deciding she was done with their petty bickering she stood up from her desk and commanded,

"Enough. Lila, take your little puppy to orientation."

Lila tried grabbing Diego's arm to take him away but he held his ground. No matter what he was not going to leave you behind, especially not alone with the Handler. Lila looked between her mother and Diego, growing increasingly worried about what would happen if Diego didn't leave with her soon. Lila tried pulling him along once more but he pulled his arm from her grasp. Placing a hand on your shoulder he turned to face the handler. Standing his ground, Diego demanded,

"I'm not going anywhere without my sister."

"Alright." The handler replies monotonously "Kill him, Lila."

"No!" You and Lila shout in unison

The two of you glare at each other before you look towards your brother. He was not dying just because he felt this need to stick around and protect you. You knew he was always going to put you first in a way he barely did with anyone else, but you were not going to risk losing your other brother because of his need to protect you.

"Diego please go." You asked calmly

Diego looked towards you before crouching down in front of you. Looking you in the eyes, he gently holds onto each of your arms. He said no words but you could feel his hands shake.

"I'm not leaving you." He stated, trying to keep his voice calm

There was a certain deja vu to the conversation you were having with Diego. Your brain traveling back to that day in 2019. You tried not to think too much about it but knowing what had happened after made this conversation even harder. You didn't want to make your brother leave, but you knew you needed to so he could be safe. You just hoped that this time things would turn out better.

"Diego. Go." You forced out

He looked at you sadly but knew you wouldn't budge on the issue. Wrapping his arms around you he pulls you into a tight hug, not wanting to let you go. If your hands weren't cuffed behind your back you would've held him as well but all you could do was rest your head on his shoulder.

"I'll be okay," you whispered, trying to reassure Diego of the decision

"I'm gonna come back for you." He whispered back

He let out a sigh before standing up and reluctantly nodding towards Lila to show him the way. You turned your head to watch him leave. Diego looked back at you one more time, hoping that he would see your face again soon. And with that, he left and you were now left alone with the Handler herself. You watched as she made her way around her desk and leaned back on it so she was now in front of you. She gave you a smile that was nowhere near as friendly as Dot's was. It unsettled you greatly. Instinctively, you leaned back in your seat as you stared quietly back at her.

"So you must be Five's little plaything," The handler comments "I'm so glad I finally get to meet you. I was hoping it would be on better circumstances but for some reason, Five never wanted to bring you around."

You could see why he didn't want you two to meet. Although she tried to portray herself as kind it was very evident that she was psychotic.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" She questions "Maybe a candy would help? Would you like one?"

She gestures to a bowl of candy on her desk. Honestly, you wouldn't mind one and you were so done with the day at this point that you were willing to accept the risk it might be poisoned.

"Sure, but uh...I can't really grab it." You reply shaking your arms to gesture to the handcuffs

The handler moves from leaning on her desk to behind you and undoes one handcuff before re-cuffing it on the armrest of the chair you were in. Still not great, but at least you were able to have some movement of your hands and arms. The handler grabs a piece of candy from the bowl and hands it to you. A smirk resided on her face as she watches you take the candy from her hand.

"Here have this one," she says before walking back behind her desk

As she walks back to her chair, you unwrap the candy and pop it in your mouth. It didn't taste too great. It tasted like stress and tears and sadness, but then again it was not as bad as the weird food concoctions you and your friends had made before. You crunched on it a little bit before swallowing it all. As the handler sits back down in her seat she starts to say,

"We've synthesized specific years into- wait did you just eat that whole thing?"

"Yeah." You reply bluntly

"That was The Great Depression candy." She states shocked

"Ah, that makes more sense. I thought it just tasted like finals week. Not bad though." You respond

The handler looks at you baffled. She purposely gave you the Great Depression as a way to knock you down and show her superiority but you ate the whole thing like it was nothing.

"Not bad? It was made to taste like blood, sweat, tears, and depression."

You shrug your shoulders and nonchalantly reply,

"It could be worse."

"It could be worse? What is wrong with you?" She questions before saying "Nevermind."

The handler took a moment to try and regain herself. Not even she was able to eat the Great Depression candy without gagging. This was a situation she had not anticipated but she wasn't going to be confused or intimidated by some child. You on the other hand felt a pride rise inside you. You tried to hold your laughter back as you thought to yourself, Now I've thrown her off her rhythm. This situation was bad but at least you were able to make it entertaining. The handler after reestablishing her "polite" composure brought a faux smile back to her face as she turned her attention towards you again.

"You are quite the individual. Just like Five, we've had our eyes on you for a long time."

"That's kinda creepy but alright." You comment back

"Well, we do monitor all of time to make sure that what's supposed to happen, happens. Of course, we were going to notice children with unexplained immense powers, such as yourself. Molecular manipulation is quite the gift."

"Yeah, you could say I'm the main character of this story." You mention with a wink "No one can do what I do."

"I'm sure someone could mimic your powers."

"Ha! I sure would like to see that bitch try." you scoffed "The dipshit would be writhing on the ground in pain for their hubris. I can only imagine what type of dumbass would willingly take on feeling the extent of everything that makes up this world without years of tolerance training. Idiot."

You couldn't believe the stupidity of her statement. You'd think if she had been monitoring you throughout your life that she would know it took you forever to build up a tolerance to feeling the molecules in the world. Before you started learning to control your abilities you blew stuff up as a child because you were in pain. Imagine having such a large ego that you think you could copy that without putting in any training for it. What a "yeah let me just try to surpass god" type of mentality you were getting from this woman.

The handler couldn't believe you either. She was growing more frustrated with you having some kind of counterpoint to everything she did or said. It was like you were prepared to be here even though it was clearly established that you weren't. She was just glad that the only power you had right now was the ability to run your mouth. The handler knew she was going to get under your skin though. She had her ways.

"You know, it's just so sweet the history that you and Five have. Always believing the two of you would find each other again one day." She states, traces of malice in her tone "It's something I thought about during Five and I's involved, and colorful history."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Did- did she think you were stupid? You knew she was trying to suggest that she and Five were a thing but they obviously weren't. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that. Your boyfriend hated this woman and hated his time at the commission. He said it himself, it was nothing more than a job. He absolutely despised these people, especially her, and currently was working directly against this organization as he always had been. And on top of it, everything he's done was motivated by his love for you. Even Diego who was not happy that you had a boyfriend knew that was Five's motivation. This woman was certifiably insane.

"Ma'am if you're trying to insinuate you fucked my boyfriend, I know you're lying. Intimacy of any kind, but especially physical intimacy catches him off guard." You elaborate unamused "Also if you two have such an involved history then why is that he spent his whole life trying to get back to me, despises you and the rest of the commission, and is actively trying to thwart you in every way possible."

The handler glared at you. She thought she was going to get under your skin with that comment and yet here you sat throwing it back in her face and getting under hers. Scornfully she rebuked,

"You know I never quite understood why Five chose you. I can't seem to find one reason to like you."

"Well, I can seem to find a lot of reasons actually. I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm powerful, I cared for him when no one else would, I didn't knowingly leave him alone in an apocalyptic wasteland for 45 years." You retort sarcastically "And those are just a few of the many reasons."

"You know pride is one of the seven deadly sins," The handler comments leaning forward in her seat

"So is envy." you retort

The handler gets back up from her seat and walks over to you once more. Looking down at you with contempt she asks,

"You know what I see?"

"What?" you reply

"I see a weak, pathetic child who thinks that she's the center of attention in this giant book of life. A child who is so scared of confronting her past she hides behind a harsh exterior with only her words to defend her." She attempts to insult

It didn't work though because you knew she was wrong. She had no clue who you were or what you were like. You had her stumped and you knew she was grasping at straws to try and put you down. To try and make you feel belittled so that she could exert power over you. She had no power over you because the fact of the matter was, you were the one in power here, and you were going to assert it.

"Well, you know what I see?" You ask with a smug smile

"No. Tell me, what do you see?"

Still handcuffed you lean forward in your chair looking up at where she stood right in front of you. Lowering your voice you go on to say,

"I see a woman, past her prime, deluded by a fantasy of some kind of romantic tryst with a man who never wanted her to begin with. You have led yourself so far down a path of irrationality that you have convinced yourself there was some kind of connection that was never there. He was your subordinate, nothing more. And now here you stand, grasping at straws for some sense of control and power, in the middle of a failing coup d'état of your own making, because you feel like you are losing your grip on the reality you created for yourself. A reality wrecked by the very man that you convinced yourself wanted you back."

Immediately after you finished your statement, the handler's hand snapped towards you and grabbed your face. She forced your head up to look at her and you could see the rage in her eyes. You were winning this battle. Angrily the handler replied,

"You better show me some respect. I have the power to ruin your life, take everything you love away, I could even kill you for that matter."

"I don't need to show you shit. My life has already been ruined, practically all that I love has disappeared in one way or another," You retort "and just so you know, the only way I'll ever die is if I choose to let it happen."

The handler leaned in towards you and her grip on your face tightened. You could feel her nails sink into your skin a little more. You weren't intimidated by her though. She was pathetic and wasn't worth your time. When she got close enough to you a sadistic smirk came to your face for a moment before you spit in hers. The handler whipped your head to the side as she pulled back in disgust. Wiping her face off she looks towards you in anger but you sit there with a proud smile.

"You're lucky you make good blackmail or else you'd be dead right now." she comments furiously before shouting "DOT!"

Dot quickly enters the room and the handler whips her gaze towards her.

"Take this disgusting child back to her holding cell." She commands

Dot nods her head and quietly makes her way over to you. Unlocking the one handcuff from the armrest she redoes the cuffs behind your back before helping you to stand. The two of you walk towards the door to leave the handler's office but before you do so you stop in your place. Turning to face the handler you firmly state,

"Les chaînes des oppresseurs ne durent que tant que les opprimés les laissent rester. La liberté est inévitable."

And without another word you and Dot left.

____________________________

"Well, there I am." Five stated

He and Luther had made their way over to the pub that Five knew he would be at. From behind a pillar the two of them spied on older looking but younger self. Five remembered this day perfectly. He had sat over at the bar trying to perfect the equation to jump forward to 2019. He thought about you a lot, wondering how you would feel about him coming back, if you would be upset with him...if he'd get the opportunity to confess his feelings even though it probably would go nowhere.

What a sad mess of a man.

"Hey Five, why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" Luther questioned "Luther, I would never let that happen. We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives." Five explained "Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."

"Huh...What do you mean?" Luther asked confused

God, how dense was he? Did Five really have to spell it out for his brother? Letting out an exasperated sigh, Five elaborated,

"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?" "I get you," Luther responds

Five was not confident though that Luther actually got him. "So our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him." Five continues "He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh...better than I know myself."

Unconsciously, Five reaches back and scratches the back of his neck causing Luther to quietly exclaim, "You just itched your neck. That's stage two of paradox psychosis."

"No, I didn't. I didn't itch my neck." Five denies "Denial is stage one." Luther reminds

Five was not going to deal with this back and forth. He was fine. Completely and utterly fine. Nothing was wrong at all and no paradox psychosis was setting in. He was good. Snapping at his brother he states, "I am fine, okay? Let's stay on task, shall we?"

Five attempts to start walking over to his commission self but Luther puts an arm out to stop him. "Wait!" Luther says "What?" Five questions

"Maybe I should go first." "Why?"

"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice." Luther suggests

Five thought about it for a second and realized Luther was right. It might be better to send him in, although now he was wishing he had you here because you would probably be the best option to reason with him. But then again, he could see himself freaking out even more because your presence in 1963 meant something very wrong happened. Well, at least he still had the blackmail option. Five nods to his brother and Luther slowly makes his way over to commission Five. Luther awkward leans on the bar next to him and calls,

"Five."

Commission Five registered the word the person had just said to him but wasn't sure if he was hearing him correctly. Looking up at the person he sees a giant man standing there. Looking him up and down he asks, "What'd you call me, big man?" "It's me. Number One?" Luther replies "Luther. How did you...?" Commission Five questions as he starts to reach down towards the briefcase at his feet

"It's okay. Everything is fine. I can explain. But first, I need to introduce you to somebody. Just promise me you won't freak out." Luther tries to calm "What the hell are you talking about?" Five replies with wide eyes

"Uh! Don't freak out. No freak-outs. All right?" "Hey there, stranger." Academy Five greeted

The two of them stare quietly at each other. This was the worst of situations and both of them knew it but what was more important was making sure they were the one to possess the briefcase.

"How about we all sit down together?" Luther suggests

Commission Five leans down and grabs the briefcase as Academy Five continues to stare at him. Cautiously the two of them walk over to a nearby table that Luther has found available. Slowly the Five's sit down across from each other, their staring contest continuing on.

"I'll get us some drinks!" Luther exclaims walking over to the bar

Neither of them said a word to their other and tension loomed in the air. Neither knew if it was due to the paradox psychosis or just the fact that they both had to look at a reflection of their and future failures. Either way, it was an undesirable experience. After a minute, Luther comes back with three pints of beer in hand. Placing one in front of each person at the table he takes a seat and comments,

"Well...this is nice, isn't it? The three of us, together like this." "No." Both Fives say in unison "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self." Commission Five inquired

"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older." Academy Five states

Commission Five leans in more as he remarks, "I have pubic hair smarter than you. How's that possible?"

"I can explain. You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family" Five explains taking a pause before continuing "About (Y/N)."

Luther looks between the two Fives confused. They worried about the family? It was understandable that they worried about you but the family too? Surprising. Commission Five's eyes glaze over for a second and he looks off in the distance as his teen counterpart's words resonate in his mind. He did worry about his family but mainly he worried for you. The image of that first day in the apocalypse never left him no matter how many years had passed. It was seared into his memory and haunted his nightmares. Coming back into focus, Five leans in and replies in a low voice,

"Of course. Why wouldn't I worry about her? You know what happened." "I do know what happened and preventing that outcome is the most important thing. So today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to mess up the calculations, screw up the jump, and end up in this younger body." Academy Five explains

"Okay. So what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?" Commission Five asks

"No, no. I need you to jump. If you don't jump, I cease to exist and there is someone in this timeline who would not be happy about that." Academy Five states firmly

Commission Five's eyes go wide. Instinctively, his hand and covers the part where his locket rested. Were you here in 1963 as well? His heart raced a little and he excitedly questioned,

"You mean-"

"Yes." Academy Five answered

"...What's she like?" Commission Five asked in awe at the thought of you being around

"Ethereal." "I'm listening. Go on." Commission Five pressed

This is exactly why Five was fine with you not being here. Now he had bargaining power against his former self. The pathetic man was desperate for any crumb of knowledge about you. An unfriendly smile came to Academy Five's face as he explained his offer,

"I'll be glad to tell you more in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table. And I'll even give you the right equation for this time if you want it."

Commission Five looked back at his teen-looking self without saying any words. Taking the opportunity to speak Luther re-explained, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, see (Y/N) and this time with the right math, so you can remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need. Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." "That's quite a bit to take in." Commission Five commented

"What do you think?" Academy Five asked "I think...I need to piss." Commission Five responded

He then got up from the table, grabbing the briefcase from the floor below him, and made his way to the bathroom. Academy Five watched with wide eyes as he walked away from the table. Grabbing a napkin, Luther began to dab the sweat off of Five's face commenting, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well." "No, there's something- something doesn't feel right about this." Five remarked

"What do you mean?" Luther questioned "I don't trust him." Five stated "But he's you," Luther replied confused "Exactly."

Luther slowly nodded his head. The psychosis looked like it was really starting to pick up in Five. Luther hoped they would be able to get the briefcase soon so that Five didn't get worse. Downing the rest of his pint, Luther turns to Five and explains,

"Well, I need to go take a piss as well, and maybe as your spotter, I can reason with him a bit, alright? Just wait here."

Five watches as Luther gets up and walks away. He could only hope that things would all work out the way they should.

____________________________

As you and Dot quietly walked down the hallway you whispered to her,

"What's this phase two that you have in mind?"

You watch as Dot looks around for a second to make sure no one in the hallway was paying attention before pulling you into a side corridor. She takes one more glance around the surroundings before whispering to you,

"The resistance is going to get a briefcase so you can escape back to 1963, but to get to the briefcase room unnoticed, we'll need a distraction."

"Ah, I see where is going. You want me to cause the distraction."

"Yes." Dot replies "If you can draw enough security away from the briefcase room we can slip in and get one so that you can get out of here."

You nod your head as you phase your wrists through the handcuffs so you can have your arms free again. Looking back to her you state,

"I'm not leaving without Diego."

"Don't worry, I talked to Herb, another member of the resistance in the hall, and he said he was going to retrieve him." She reassures

"Good." You respond before asking "Where should I meet you?"

"Storage closet 2. It's on the east side of the building across from the period clothing department."

You peer around the corner of the corridor and look out into the hallway to see who was there. It was relatively empty with only a few people passing by. As you keep watch you ask Dot,

"Is the briefcase room to the left or right?"

"The right. Why?" She questions

"No time for questions. Just trust me. I'll see you soon." You respond

And before she can say anything else, you turn yourself invisible and sprint off to the left down the hall. Dodging the people who were walking by, you looked for some room that seemed important. As you searched, you passed the handler's office doors. Stopping in your tracks and backing up you look at the double doors for a second. A mischievous smile comes to your face as you take each hand and place them on the door handles. You heat the molecules of the handles and the lock inside of the door so that they all start to melt before quickly cooling it all down. With the handles and lock all now one solid amalgamation you knew that she would be locked in there for a bit. Turning back around you continue running off down the hall searching for a room that seemed important until you found one. Looking at the sign that said Tube Room you decided to investigate more. Phasing through the wall you entered the room and saw a line of different tubes spread down the length of a hall. Taking a look around to see that no one was there, you drop your invisibility and prepare for the mother of all distractions. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused on the molecules around you in this room. Specifically, that of the tubes that lined the walls Shooting your eyes back open you took off running down the hall of tubes, blowing each one behind you up as you passed them by. You could feel the pulsing of the explosions and the heat from the leftover flames as you continued to move forward down the hall. As you reached the end of the hall, you ran through the wall to the other side hearing the sound of the last explosion resonate behind you. You stopped for a moment to brush yourself off when you heard over the PA system,

"Security to the tube room. Security to the tube room."

"I better get out of here." You say to yourself

You look around for any sign that would point you in the direction of the east side of the building. You should've asked for more directions from Dot, but you were all too excited to start bringing this organization to its knees. Down the hall, you see a sign with an arrow on it pointing towards the period clothing department.

"Bingo," you exclaim

You start to quickly make your way towards the sign when you hear someone from behind you yell,

"Stop right there!"

Looking back you saw a significant amount of people in blue suits pointing guns at you. You were about to run away when you looked forward and saw another similar-looking group on the other side of the hall.

"Shit."

You were trapped. Granted, you weren't really trapped, you could just use your powers to sneak out of this situation but you had no clue if Dot was able to get a briefcase yet. Was this all the security they had or was there more scattered around? Dot had mentioned that Five blew up the briefcase room the last time he was here, so they had to have had more security for it. Security that you needed to draw to here.

"If you wanna stop me you're gonna have to kill me!" You announced

Guns drawn, the guards started to come towards you. You kept calm though and waited patiently for the first line of security to get close enough. If you were going to cause a distraction then hell you were going to make it unforgettable. Slowly, the 12 guards inched closer and closer until they were just where you wanted them. As this first line flanked you on all sides you gave them a wicked smile and within a second a boom rang throughout the hallway. It was all calm for a moment and then...chunks of flesh and blood rained down over the hall. There was nothing left where those 12 guards had stood, and at that moment it became clear that you were not trapped with these guards. They were trapped with you. You were Persephone, the bringer of destruction, and the chaos had only just begun.

Pulling out two of your knives you watched as more guards started showing up to try and stop you. You could feel the adrenaline you had injected coursing through your veins. This is where the fun begins. Realizing what you had just done the guards start to rush in. One by one you started to take them down. It was like you were moving in slow motion as you fought the crowd around you. Your movements becoming less so fighting maneuvers and more of a rhythmic dance. In a focused daze, you made your way around slashing throats and melting brains of all those who charged at you. With their guns drawn, they sent shots your way but it did not matter because all the bullets did was go through you and hit other guards. You watched the blood and the shit spray as swathes of agents dropped to the floor dead. The lucky ones were shot or blown to bits while the less fortunate dealt with the pain of slowly burning to death or being tossed back and forth between the walls like useless playthings. You bathed in the sounds of their agony. They all were going to suffer the way they made your darling Five do for years. And like the Roman empire, they fell to their demise.

When the combat had stopped you came out of your trance. Catching your breath you looked around at the bloodbath you created. The once white marble floors were now stained with rivers of red. You were victorious in your battle, and like the Queen of Hell, your destruction reigned over this place. You turned to walk away and head towards the storage closet when the sound of a gun rang out and pain came to your arm. You looked down and saw that a bullet had grazed your forearm leaving behind a wound. Your head shot back in anger to see where the shot hand came from. One guard was still alive, paralyzed from the waist down but still alive. You made your way towards them and they tried to shoot again but they were all out of bullets. Slowly, you crouched down to them on the floor, your eyes ignited with flames and you said in a low tone,

"You missed."

Reaching into their chest you ripped out their heart and crushed it in front of them. You watched as the light quickly slipped from your eyes. Letting out a huff you placed two fingers over your wound and used your powers to cauterize it. You were done here and made your way towards the rendezvous point. As you walked that way the adrenaline started to wear off and you started to fully realize what had gone down. Urgency set in as you saw the blood you were covered in and realized you need to get out of here. Finally seeing the clothing department you ran into it real quick and changed clothes, using some scrap cloths and a water bottle you found to wipe the blood off of you. You then raced across the hall to storage closet 2 where Dot, Diego and a group of other people were all standing around.

"Hey everyone," You say frantically "We need to get out of here fast because I'm pretty sure I just committed a war crime."

"Oh, uh okay. Well, unfortunately, we couldn't grab a fully functioning briefcase in time because people came back to protect the briefcase room," Herb explains

"But, we still got one!" Dot explains positively "It just happens to be a one-way case. They become useless after one time jump."

"We've already set it up with the correct time and location. Halfway between FBI headquarters and the pub where Five is located." Herb adds "Here are some maps to show you how to get to those places."

You and Diego both reach out and grab a map.

"Thank you." You reply quickly

Diego turns to look at you,

"Ready to go, kiddo?"

You nodded your head quickly at him. Diego took the briefcase in one hand and wrapped his other arm around you tightly. Herb stepped forward and pushed a few buttons before stepping back you could feel the energy from the case start to grow as you tried to manage your breathing. Giving the group of people before you one last look, you say,

"Vive la résistance."

Almost immediately after there was a flash and now you stood with your brother in the middle of Dallas, back in 1963. You watched as the briefcase started smoking and making unpleasant clanking sounds. Finding a nearby dumpster, Diego threw the defunct briefcase away before coming back over to you and pulling out his map trying to figure out the path to the FBI building. It wasn't far from where you stood but every second spent standing around was another second closer to Vanya ending the world...again. Looking up from his map he looked towards you. You silently looked back at him and waited for him to say something. You could tell something was on his mind. Diego was torn. He wanted to bring you with him to the FBI headquarters so he knew where you were and didn't have to worry that you had been taken by Lila again but he didn't want to put in danger of what Vanya was doing. The last time Vanya strongly used her powers you were seriously injured and putting you right in harm's way of that was something he would never choose. Diego came to a decision in his head. It was going to take a lot to say this but Diego knew it was the best option.

"Go find Five. He'll keep you safe."

You were surprised by his statement. Diego had been very back and forth on you being with Five since every before Five came back, although he would never admit it. But this plus the comment from earlier were the strongest confirmations that maybe just maybe, Diego was coming around. Although his comments gave you reason to celebrate, this was not really the time and you were also very worried about him. You didn't want to be separated from your brother especially if he was headed to stop Vanya.

"Will you be okay?" You questioned

"I'll be fine." Diego responds "Now go get to Five. He can protect you from the commission more than I can."

Instead of saying any words you just took a step forward and hugged your brother. It was brief because time was of the essence but it was enough to reassure both him and yourself that things would be alright. You pulled away from Diego and the two of you gave each other knowing nods before turning in opposite directions and running towards your respective destinations. Using your powers you made yourself lighter so that you could move faster. You had no clue if the commission was after you. You wouldn't be surprised given you had pissed off both Lila and her mom, the handler. It didn't take you long to see the pub marked on your map up ahead. You slowed your pace as you made your way to the door and calmly entered the establishment. You looked around for a second before spotting a familiar uniformed boy, sitting alone at a table. You walked over to the table he was at and called,

"Five."

His head snaps over to you. His eyes were wide and his face was covered in sweat. You were taken aback by how frantic and unwell he looked. You cupped his face in your hands and felt the warmth radiating off of his skin. As you tried to cool down the water molecules in the sweat on his face you said,

"Oh my god, are you feeling okay darling? You look awful."

Five quietly stood up as you still held his face in your hands. He appreciated you using your powers to try and cool him down but he was confused as to what you were doing here.

"How did you find me?" He asked

"I'm fine." you instinctively responded

"That's not the question I asked." Five states "Also are these new clothes?"

"Listen, the specifics of the situation don't matter too much right now but I promise I will tell you later. What's the plan?" You inquired

"I- I don't know." Five states scratching the back of his neck "I'm still working on it."

"Don't worry, it's going to be okay." you comforted as you brought him into a hug "We'll figure this out together."

Five wrapped his arms back around you and held you tightly. IF he was experiencing any paradox psychosis, at that moment it melted away for a bit. Just you being with him gave him a sense of calm even though the world around him was anything but that. He just hoped that this calm would last even after Luther had returned.

As Luther had walked into the bathroom a few moments earlier, he sees Commission Five standing in front of the sink looking at the glass eye that would belong to the future, Harold Jenkins. Walking over to the urinals he comments to Five,

"Yeah, that's a waste of time. Trust me."

A waste of time? It was one of the only clues he had. How could it be a waste of time? "Then why were you holding it when I found you dead in the apocalypse?" Five questioned

"No idea. But the guy it belonged to didn't end the world. Vanya did." Luther stated "Timid little Vanya?" Five asked confused

"Yep. Is more powerful than all of us put together. Turns out, she was pissed about the way we treated her when we were kids, so she destroyed the moon and ended the world."

"Fair enough." Five said nodding his head "This is perfect. We now know exactly what's gonna happen."

"Yeah, except it, uh, already did," Luther replies approaching Five

Five turns to him with plenty of new ideas rushing through his mind. Not only how to stop the apocalypse and get this version of Five to disappear. He was unnecessary. "Don't think, just listen. Forget about the little jerk-off's plan. It's way too complicated. A much better plan is for us to travel to 2019. All we have to do is make nice with Vanya, stop her from destroying the world. Easy-peasy." Five explains "Hmm. Well, that's actually...that's not bad." Luther responds "But what about Five? I mean, you? I mean, the, uh, young you."

"That's not me. That's a teenaged hormonal photocopy that got botched in the time jump. Besides, it's too late for him anyway." Five states

"Too late? Paradox psychosis?" Luther inquires

Five nods his head, answering, "Best thing we can do is put him out of his misery." "You're saying to kill him?"

"You're thinking about this all wrong. We're not killing anybody." Five elaborates "Look at me. I'm Five, and I will still be alive. All we are doing is getting rid of a mutant doppelganger."

"Are you sure you don't have paradox psychosis?" Luther questions concerned "I've never felt better in my life." Five states

I just don't know Five..." Luther responds warily "(Y/N) wouldn't be very happy to know her boyfriend is gone from existence."

Commission Five stopped in his place. His head slowly turned back to look at Luther who had an innocent yet conflicted look on his face.

"Boyfriend?" He questioned surprised

"Yeah. Boyfriend." Luther responds "But like I was saying, I don't know about getting rid of him, this would be like the third time she's lost him- you...y'all? And she's really powerful and she almost killed me once for insulting Diego, and you remember the bank she blew that guy's head clean off. I just don't feel like it's the best idea to rip that Five away from her..."

Commission Five hadn't listened to a word Luther had said though because once the word boyfriend had slipped from Luther's mouth his heart began to race. If that version was her boyfriend that meant she loved him too. No. That would be insane. Maybe Luther said the words too fast and so he said boyfriend when he meant boy friend. There was no way that she felt the same way he did. Could she? Did she love him this whole time? Did she die loving him the same way he loved her? No, they were just friends. Just...friends. Five wanted to believe that what Luther was saying was true and that she did love him enough to have him be her boyfriend but it just didn't add up in his mind. How could she love someone who abandoned her in a different time, who took everything she knew away from her and left her wondering till the day she died if her best friend was mad at her. It was impossible though. Five looks up towards Luther who still towered over him like he did when they were kids.

"The little prick out there won't tell me jack about her." Five complains before asking quietly "What's she like Luther?"

"Well...I haven't been around her much but uh she's very powerful, more so than when we were kids. Uh, I mean she definitely cares about the people she loves, and um apparently she was dad's favorite both in 2019 and this timeline."

"That makes sense. When I read her diary she wrote about a lot of the things he did for her. Was too much to be coincidental."

"Wait what? He did stuff for her?" Luther questions

"Doesn't matter. So she's here? In this timeline?" Five inquires

"Uh- I don't know where but yeah," Luther responds

Five nods his head.

"Alright well, let's head out then." Five comments

As the two of them open the men's bathroom door and exit both of them see a sight they didn't know would be there. Five froze in place and his jaw dropped as he looked ahead of him.

"Oh look, there she is!" Luther commented

He was right. There you stood. Alive. Five could feel his heart stop and he didn't know if he was breathing anymore as he stared off at you. The world faded away as his focus became you and only you. Five could feel his heart clench as he remembered the last time he saw you alive. It was 45 years ago, right before you died. He remembered cradling you in his arms, blood getting on his academy uniform as he cried over your dead body. Tears pricked his eyes as he took all of you in. You were smiling, moving, breathing and to him, that was a miracle. He could only see the side of your face but the little shit was right, you were ethereal. As the world came back into focus he noticed you wrapped in the arms of his teenage counterpart. He saw the gentle look in his counterpart's eyes as your hands wrapped around his neck bringing him into a hug. Five wanted a hug from you, it had been so long since he had gotten one. As Five stood there, he felt Luther nudge his arm. Turning his attention to him, Luther says,

"Alright lover boy, time to get your head out of the clouds and go interact with the love of your life for the first time in years."

"Ah well, no...we're just- I mean..." Five stutters

"Oh, we're just best friends. Don't give me that shit you openly yelled about how you loved her when we were 12." Luther ridicules "Now c'mon let's go."

Luther starts to push Commission Five forwards back towards the table and Commission Five's heart begins to race with every step closer. As Academy Five noticed Commission Five head back towards the table he held you tighter to him. His face contorted into a scowl as he looked at this version of his approach towards you. He could see the look on his face, one of nervousness and awe. Academy Five didn't like it one bit and if it wasn't for you hugging him he felt like he would've punched the old man right where he stood. You felt as Five tensed up in the hug and pulled back to look at him. looking up at his face you saw it was filled with anger but couldn't begin to decipher why. You followed his gaze to see what had angered him so and when you looked behind you, you saw Luther standing there with an older gentleman. You looked back towards your boyfriend whose face was still filled with rage and asked,

"Five, who is this?"

Five stared the man down and let out a huff before replying,

"He's me."

________________________________

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imaginewarehouse · 4 years

Text

Marcus White x Jonah’sSister!Reader || Oneshot

Plot:

You find out that you are pregnant... with Marcus' miracle baby.

Warnings: Pregnancy, panic attack

🔆 🔆 🔆

Carefully, I pick out one of the pregnancy tests from the shelf. Then grab another... 2 more... and another. Just to be sure.

As I go up to the pharmacy desk, I thank god that Tate isn't working here anymore; I never would've gotten away with this. He would've snitched to Jonah or something, for his own sociopathic enjoyment. Instead, the new guy thankfully rings up and bags my items casually, not really caring what he flings into the white plastic bag- then hands it to me with a soulless customer service smile. If I had to describe it, I'd say its if the man had been working here for years before finally letting the job kill him on the inside- just in time for the wind to change and stick his face like that. Honestly, I never see the guy without this smile. Not even in the breakroom. Its unnerving.

Still, I take the bag and smile back even though I know he for sure doesn't really mean it and turn around so I can walk (The long way around the store, so I don't pass the doors to the warehouse) towards the employee bathrooms... but stop short, jolting into panic mode immediately. Freeze, freeze, freeze!

There's Isaac, standing as tall as a bear in my path behind the aisles, with a scanner in his hand and a surprised look on his face. Or at least as surprised as he would ever convey.

Clearly, though, he saw the tests. And I'm screwed. He is absolutely the well, second last person I wanted to catch me doing this; Buying these.

A nervous smile flickers onto my face and I walk the short ways over to him, hugging the bag to my front. He's still just staring; Mouth half open and eyes a little less dead, then usual. "Oh, hey Isaac! How's is going? You got sent to pharmacy today? That s-sucks... " Honestly I didn't think he was allowed to be assigned pharmacy...

Completely by-passing the option to forget what he just saw and exchange polite chit-chat with me, he instead closes his mouth and his eyes, shakes his head and then opens his eyes again. Then inhales. "Are those what I think those are?"

"Wh-what?"

"Pregnancy tes-"

Shit- Giving him a desperate expression, revealing my true feelings today - being complete and utter panic, - I cut him off. "SHHH! Isaac! No- uh. Yes. Um... Would you believe these aren't for me?"

"Mmm... " His face twists slightly into one of thought, tightening his lips together and sizing me up. "No, I don't think so."

"Well!- " I'm totally ready to make up an excuse... but peter out as soon I try. I could do it. I could string together some kind of half-believable bullshit like 'They're for Amy', but he would still go and tell Marcus and he would find me and... I would still have to have the conversation earlier then I want to. So instead I drop the façade, and my shoulders, and show just how tired I am. "I want to find out myself before breaking the news to Marcus. Okay? He might be unhappy about the idea and then we do the test and it turns out I'm not pregnant and then I just stressed us both out, for no reason! And, on the other hand, what if he wants it and it turns out I'm wrong about this? Please, Isaac, just don't tell him yet. Please, please." I feel like no matter how many pleases I use they may still not change anything. But I'm desperate.

He stands still for a few minutes... so long in fact I think he may be in shock himself, or having some kind of drug induced anxiety attack, and am about to wave my hand up in his face or say his name again, when he finally breathes a little more obviously and I relax back down to earth. "... Well, lets go find out then, right?"

"What- You- you want to come?" Something in me relaxes at the thought- I don't really want to do this alone. I want someone there, like in the movies, to hold the box and just read me the instructions. But I imagined it would be someone I'm actually close friends with, who can hold my hand and wouldn't care that it recently touched a pee-stick. I did not expect that person to be Isaac - Isaac, who likes to watch homeless people kill each other with shopping trollies and sticks and trash can shields like in a horrible, pitiful, modern-day coliseum, - in a million years.

But he nods.

"Yeah, sure." He puts his scanner on the shelf, and we set off the way I was going. He seems to silently understand why we have to go the long way around- to avoid passing the doors to the warehouse. Or he just doesn't care. Either way, I'm thankful he doesn't try to re-rout my course. Or even mention it. "Good excuse to slack off work... besides I should probably get out of this section, anyway. Hey, it is Marcus- right?"

I sigh- I suppose the companionable silence was too much to ask for. "Yes Isaac. If its a thing, in the first place."

"Yeah, right."

___TIME SKIP___

"You're having a miracle baby, you know? He's not supposed to be able to do that- isn't that kinda... good?"

I only whimper in response from |my new home| the cubicle I've been taking the tests in, holding my head. How am I going to do this? I have college, I have this job, I have my studio apartment to continue paying rent for! Marcus and I don't even... there isn't even... we haven't labelled it yet, and... Oh god, I'm shaking.

Isaac heaves a sigh outside, his chair creaking as he shifts. "Well, that's... three positives, so far." Isaac's memorable, slow drawl seeps through the cracks in my cubicle and takes away my thoughts for a moment. And my breath.

3 positives.

Not one, not two... three.

... Then he goes on, a whiny tone in his voice. "Do we really need to do another one?"

I breathe in deep. I don't know what else to do. The next logical step would be telling Marcus or Jonah, but I'm ready for neither of those. So procrastination through pregnancy test, it has to be. "Uh, yes. We do. Um... can you, please?- "

"Ughhh. Yeah, yeah. I'll get you more water. Stay here." Then Isaac, who has surprisingly been very helpful, even getting me tape so I can stick the finished tests up to the door in front of me so that I can compare them easier, disappears out of the women's bathroom, leaving me with my thoughts.

I peak back up at the tests, feeling panic fill up my chest cavity like its anxiety gas and my rib cage is the gas chamber- and my heart's the poor organ at deaths row. I'm... pregnant.

Oh my god. I'm pregnant. There is a human being growing inside me, right now. A human being who will require time that I definitely don't have, money that its parents certainly could not scavenge if we scavenged for used soda cans like Myrtle and sold them in our spare time, effort that I'm terrified might not even be in me at this point... A baby that needs some semblance of a comfortable, stable home, which I do not have for it.

I'm just burrowing my face into my arms and knees atop the toilet seat when the bathroom door opens again. Looking up, I immediately ask for Isaac- because that was really freaken quick, for him.

And get a familiar, confused sounding voice call back "... No, its Amy... Sorry, I just need to pee. Are you going to be long?".

"Oh!" Oops. Immediately, head going empty with panic, I unlock the door and and jump out to let her in. "No! I just finished. Um- go ahead. I'll just wash- wash my hands."

Now seeing each other, I see Amy's forehead crease and her eyebrows furrow in confusion and concern at my pink cheeked/pale faced appearance and the panicky way I'm talking. She reaches out toward me. "... Y/N, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I laugh, the most nervous sounding laugh ever. "Don't worry."

Amy's nose screws up. "... why were you waiting for Isaac?"

"We-we're just having an affair."

... what??

Her eyebrows furrow even deeper. "Okay... I'm just gonna go... pee... now... " She says slowly, gradually disappearing into the cubicle; Not quite sure what to say back to that.

I sigh in relief when her eyes aren't on me anymore and the door locks, thinking flushing some water onto my face might calm me down, when a loud GASP comes from Amy and I i m m e d i a t e l y remember the tests stuck to the wall. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!!

Amy comes right out of there, looking at me with completely new eyes now- understanding truly why I'm pale, I'm sure, and definitely why I was acting the way I was. "Y/N! You're... pregnant??!" I open my mouth to respond. Maybe say 'yes' seeing as that's the truth and the only proper answer, but I choke on my words and instead say, "Isaacs getting more water so I can take another test."

"I think 3 is a pretty conclusive number!"

"I-" She is not wrong, but I don't want to do anything else but take another easy test, and get defensive instead. "I bought four, I'm doing four!"

"Wh- Is Isaac the father!?"

"God, no." Isaac and I both spit back in offense.

I whip my head around when i realise he wasn't supposed to be there yet at all, and- there he is in the doorway.

... Jonah right behind him looking sicker then me. My jaw drops. "You brought Jonah??!"

"Uh, no, I was just waiting outside for, um," He gestures to Amy and my stomach drops. So he heard the whole thing. Could this get any worse??! Well I mean of course it could, Marcus could be here. Stupid question. Don't ask questions like that; It always summons the worst, in movies. "You're pregnant!? Who- you know what, unimportant right now. Do you wanna sit down??"

I shake my head, taking a deep breath and holding my hand out to Isaac. "No, I'm fine. I have a test to do. Water, Isaac?"

"Here." He hands me the bottle, and I go to disappear back into the cubicle before jumping back away again, remembering that Amy still needs to go and gesturing for her to go, ridiculously enough. She shakes her head and gestures back, like I'm crazy, to take it instead.

I do so and lock myself in, starting to chug the whole bottle.

A blessed silent moment passes... before Jonah speaks. "Is the 4th test really necessary?- "

"For the love of god- Let me take the fourth goddamn test for fucks sake!"

___TIME SKIP___

"... so what is it?" Amy asks 10 minutes later, breaking the deafening silence, as I sit back down on the toilet seat and hold my face in my hands again.

"... Positive... "

Isaac sighs. "Who would have guessed, really?"

No one tells him to shut up. He's right. But also no one agrees, because I'm a fucking 23 year old pregnant girl and I will kill them.

"So... what now?" Amy asks, speaking to the room, but expecting me to answer.

"Well, I'd like less people to be here, honestly." I pipe up, removing my hands from my mouth to speak clearer.

"Done. Isaac, Jonah, get out."

"What? I was here before you... lady." Isaac exclaims, offended, but a moment later I hear the door close, anyway. I assume it had something to do with Amy's signature resting bitch face- cranked up to eleven. "We'll just wait out here, then! Yell if you need us."

"Yep... " Amy responds to him, sounding exhausted and I can totally imagine her rolling her eyes right now. She takes a deep breath, and sighs it out. I hear her rest carefully down into the chair Isaac vacated. For a moment she thankfully says nothing, and I do wonder whether I should... but I don't know what to so say. So I just stay hidden in the cubicle, silent until Amy takes another deep breath and asks the question. "Who is it?"

I take a deep breath, knowing that once I say it I cant take it back, while on the other hand... its done, anyway. He's already the father and I cant change that (Would I if I could, though?) but telling Amy may either make or break my confidence in having him as the dad of my kid. Not that I have a choice... I just know that Amy's going to be worried about it and I don't know if I can handle the criticism right this moment.

Finally I spit it out though. Marcus.

...

"Oh- wow."

Uncomfortable, I shift on the closed toilet seat. "Yeah."

Her voice gets higher, clearly fake and trying to sound like this is better then she really feels it is. My heart plummets into my stomach like a terrible roller coaster. "Well, that's... " She pauses, searching for a safe word to use, assumedly. "Great!"

"... 'great?" For some reason that word, and Amy's tone... hits something wrong, in me. Panic flickers deep in my chest and my stare on the wall gets colder, harder. "... you think this is 'great'? Really? You? No, you don't. Do you hear yourself? 'Great'. Puh! This is Marcus. 'Been to jail' Marcus. 'Ex Con' Marcus. 'Creator and CEO of BOOB CHEESE', Marcus. Marcus who shits in the shower and thinks breastfeeding is akin to whipping your dick out in public, Marcus who has a tattoo of his mother on his back for Valentines day- "

Okay so maybe I'm just picking on him because I'm inadequate, because I don't have the time for a baby, because if I'm trusted with this perfect thing then I will ruin it... I'll pick work, instead of love, and they'll grow up with less of it then they should have and I'll be to blame...

But I don't want to address that yet. I cant.

"Y/N."

"Neither of us even have the money for this." I'm panicking again. "He lives with his mother! And- what if he gets mad... " I suddenly get worried, my eyes go round and I cover my mouth. "I really like him Amy. I cant have him mad at me. Not for this. Not him. Please don't let him hate m- "

"Y/N! Calm the fuck down, okay, right now. Don't speak. Just... take some deep breathes okay? First of all, Marcus is not going to be 'mad' at you. He's sure as hell is not going to hate you. You're spiralling, just take some long breaths." Amy makes it sound like a ridiculous idea with her tone, that he might be mad or he might hate me. I do as she says as she talks; take deeeeeep breaths. Slowly, I start to clam down. "He might be shocked, yeah, but he's- he's not like that. He's an idiot, not a total asshole. Take it from me, I know what I'm talking about here. I promise you. Whether he'll be good at being a parent, is... debatable." Everything she says makes sense. And she would know- you've met Adam. "But he'll be there, at the very least.

And... and you'll be a great mum, anyway."

I feel my heartbeat start to slow down again as I breath. I close my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and rest back against the wall, carefully.

I really hope she's right on that second part.

"... thank you."

___OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM___

Jonah rubs his neck in nervousness at his sister in the bathroom dealing with something like this, pacing around the small hallway area before turning to Isaac. He raises his dark eyebrows. "So, do you know... wh-who?? I mean... the guy, that- I mean, does he work here, or... ???"

"Its Marcus." Isaac pulls out a bag of trail mix from his vest pocket and starts picking through, standing by the bathroom calmly. The brother to whom he just broke such detrimental news - that his sister, has Marcus White of BOOB CHEESEs baby inside her, - widens his eyes until they're more like dinner plates. "Yeah, they've been talking for a while, man. You didn't know?"

"I- I just thought she wasn't interested in... guys... " All her time must be busy with balancing both school and work, plus her friends... how can she possible have had time to... But on the other hand, he realises that its a bit naïve to think that his younger sister still isn't interested in 'boys'. Part of it might have been wishful thinking.

Isaac barks out a laugh. Its a stale, dry sound that makes Jonah really uncomfortable. "She also went out with Tate. Had a bit of a thing for Sayid for a while, too... "

"What!?- "

"Jonah!" At Amy's exit from the bathroom, he calms down immediately and straightens up. She raises her brows at him. She nods into the bathroom. "She wants you."

Yep- it takes him about 2 seconds to fly into the bathroom... to find his sister still hidden in the cubicle. He sighs, pressing his hand against the door. "Y/N? Amy said you wanted me. Do you want me to get you something to eat? Its just, I'm the only one who knows your snack preferences... and maybe we shouldn't eat in here, cuz its kinda gross... but if you want to, that's cool too!"

She doesn't respond for a minute, silent apart from the careful peeling of tape from the cubicle door.

Then the peeling sounds stop. A moment later her voice, sounding small and tentative as if just saying this would open Pandora's box, slips out. "... how're mum and dad gonna react?"

Its a rhetorical question. They both know it'll be bad - and they'll like Marcus even less, - , but its said so he knows what she's worried about. He sighs and leans back on the door. "Well very, very badly. But that doesn't matter right now. I'll take care of them."

"How valiant." Her voice is still small, quiet. But she sounds less scared; She always believes her big brother. Even when she knows logically that he cant protect her from them. Not their parents.

"Well, I try."

"... hm."

___TIME SKIP, BACK OUTSIDE OF THE BATHROOM___

"She is not leaving that bathroom," Isaac shakes his head. Its been an hour, and they've all been in there with her a couple times but she has not left the cubicle. Not even peaked her head out. She hasn't even e a t e n anything while she's been in there. Its starting to worry them. "Maybe we should go get Marcus."

Immediately Jonah looks up from his phone - having been reading up on pregnancy. What is going to start happening to his sister, now?? - and shakes his head, firmly. "No, she'll tell him when she feels comfortable with it. We aren't doing that."

"Yeah, it isn't up to us." Amy agrees, while still looking like on a deep, unsympathetic level that is tired of standing here... she definitely wants to drag Marcus here. But she also knows that Jonah is, unfortunately, a n n o y i n g l y, right.

Isaac heaves a deep, frustrated huff and gets comfortable on the floor.

___TIME SKIP: 3 HOURS LATER___

Finally, Jonah breathes in a deep, exhausted breath and puts his phone away. That's enough of that. He's sufficiently disgusted. He looks down the hallway, out to the store. Then to Amy playing solitaire on her phone and Isaac drawing slowly on the ground. "... Well, I mean, it's Marcus's baby too, right? He should know... right?"

"Mhm,"

"Yep, that's right."

"And... besides, Y/N might need him, right? Maybe he could get her out."

"You make some good points."

"I just wish they weren't points we already mentioned." Amy looks up from her phone and turns it off, flashing an sarcastic, displeased kind of smile. "Earlier."

"Yeah well... " He rolls his shoulders, looking away from Amy's piercing gaze- god, her face is like a loaded gun with no safety. And he's totally into it. He coughs, then whispers. "So, who wants to go get him??"

"Not it."

"I would, but ah... nah. I'm down for the count, down here."

"So... me."

Amy nods, making a 'shoo'-ing gesture with her hand. "Yep, you, Jiminy Cricket. You made us stay here for hours- you go get Marcus."

Looking to Isaac for help, Jonah is just met with the deadest eye's he has ever come upon, so he eventually sighs deeply, wiping sweaty hands on his jeans. "Fff-fine. Wait here."

___IN THE WAREHOUSE___

"Uh, hello? Hi- have you seen Marcus anywhere? Wh- No? Well if you see him can you tell him I'm looking for him? Its about Y/N."

The warehouse worker with the nametag reading 'Nigel' that Jonah's never spoken to before in his life and who prior to his words, had the new deadest eyes that Jonah has ever seen, suddenly beams- a twinkle of evil mischief in his eyes. "Oooooh, cats outta the bag, huh?"

Jonah blinks. "What?"

"You found out about Marcus and your sister, and now you're gonna beat him up? I was waiting for this moment." Nigel clarifies, actively looking around the room for Marcus now as Jonah rushes to explain that no, that is not what he's here for. Please don't say that so loudly- "HEY RICO! You seen Marcus around?? Y/N's brother's here to deliver an ass beating." Half a second passes while Jonah's ears ring from Nigel's screeching before something new apparently occurs to the warehouse worker as his eyes widen and he turns again to who must be Rico. "And you owe me 20 bucks!! Told ya he'd come!"

How often is Y/N in this place? Just seems weird, these guy's saying her name so casually... Jonah's forehead crinkles in thought as Rico rolls his eyes and groans, walking off to assumedly find Marcus. I'm learning a lot about my sister, today... Not sure how I feel about it...

Jesus Christ, has she eaten the cheese, too??!

Jonah doesn't get a moment to panic about that particular bit of nightmare material before he realises Nigel is still standing, awkwardly now, arms straight at his sides and eyebrows raised expectantly, right by him. Watching him, instead of returning to his job. Jonah raises his own eyebrows back; Shrugging. Like, what?? What do you want?

Nigel just just shrugs and shakes his head back passive aggressively, crossing his arms. Like, he doesn't know. Fine, we'll just stand in silence, then...

"Jonah! What's up, buddy? Visiting me in the warehouse- this is so nice! Want me to take my break now, cuz we totally can. Just let me wrap one last thing up and then we'll be back in my car, together. Listening to tunes; Ya know. Guy buddy stuff." T h a n k f u l l y, Marcus seems to rush from wherever he was in the depths of shelf-land when Rico apparently found him and cuts off the awkward stand off between the two men, dropping a hand on Jonah's shoulder and beaming. "What up, man?"

Quick to turn away from Nigel and get to what his mission really is at the moment, Jonah graciously ignores the touchy greeting... despite the awkwardness on his end and the fact that Nigel is still there, watching. "Actually, I wanted to talk about, uh, Y/N."

Marcus' eyes immediately widen and his eyebrows raise, taking his hand off Jonah in favour of ringing his hands and stepping back nervously himself. "Oh, man... you found out, didn't you? Did she tell you? Cuz like, I know the bro code says its not cool to bone your friend's sister but- "

"Ah, ah, ah!" No, no, no, Jonah does not want to hear those words. No. "No, um. That's fine, whatever. Y/N's sexuality is her own. But- "

"Its a ruse, Marcus. He's here to kick your ass." Nigel insists, still very much there despite everything about this situation having nothing to do with him and instead just freaks Marcus out more as the warehouse head's eyes go even wider and he takes another step back- raising his hands in surrender.

"No, no! Nigel!- That's... no. I'm not here to kick anyone's ass! The asses here are all perfectly safe, I promise. Okay?" When Nigel's expression doesn't change a lick, Jonah gives up and just gestures off in a random direction. "Nigel, could you give us a minute, here?"

"What, so you can jump my boy here alone?"

"Alone?? Who's alone?" Jonah is getting increasingly irritated. "We're literally surrounded by other warehouse workers!! Ones who are actually doing their jobs, by the way. Maybe you should- "

Marcus finally intercepts and pats Nigel's shoulder, getting his attention from looking confrontationally at Jonah and smiles relatively softly at him. "Its okay, Nigel. If Jonah wants to kick me in my junk once- he's kinda entitled to it. Bro code and everything. Why don't you get back to work? I got this. Thanks, though." Nigel leaves, with that, but certainly not without giving Jonah one last greasy look over his shoulder and an 'Okay, Marcus. But call me, if... you know... '. Along with an extra evil squinty look at Jonah. "Yeah, yeah. Thanks bud. I know I can count on you." When Nigel is finally out of the picture, Jonah feels fatigued and just wants to get back to Y/N. At least its just him and Marcus now, though, so they should be doing that very soon. "So! What'd you want? If you really do wanna hurt me, then, can we go outside? By my car ideally, so I can drive the emergency room right after? Or you, cuz I mean... you're small, man. And I'll have to defend myself. Even if its fair. Its instinct, you know? You get it."

"I'm not gonna hurt you?? Why does everyone think- " What is wrong with people here? Do I give off a confrontational aura right now, or something??? "Ugh, whatever. Y/N needs you- she's been in the bathroom for 4 hours. We did try to get her out ourselves, but our attempts have been... l-lacklustre." Lacklustre? Okay, even he is surprised to hear that one come out of him.

"She needs... me? Like, she said that?" All of a sudden Marcus' expression changes. Worry wells in his eyes and his forehead creases, and he glances at the door out to the floor before returning to Jonah, looking restless now as his body fights with him to go, immediately. "Oh, what's wrong with her? Is she sick??"

"Uhh... in a manner of speaking... Look, I just think she needs to see you right now."

That makes the taller man move towards the door, clipboard dropped on a box on his way. "Of course; Right away man. Come on, lets go see her. So you really don't know what's wrong?? Should we pick up some root beer on the way?" Jonah follows behind, hand on his chin as he answers Marcus' questions. Wow... He did not expect such a response from him... He... kinda respects it, in a way. Its a pleasant surprise, at least.

___BACK TO YOU AND YOUR POV. God I hate third person. Its so hard, I want to cry___

"Y/N? You in here??" As soon as that voice registers in my mind, my heart beat skips in the worst way and I almost start to full on panic all over again, but thankfully instead just freeze and only widen my eyes. What the hell? The door to the employee bathroom closes as Marcus shuts himself in and you watch his boots appear under the door to your stall. "What's going on? Jonah couldn't tell me what's wrong with you," Jonah. I glare at the stall door. I'm going to kill him. "But I brought you some root beer for you- a total cure all. I promise. And some (Enter your favourite snack) cuz I know you like them. Here," He stretches up and holds the items over the stall door, and, feeling genuinely touched that Marcus was sweet enough to bring these, I get up off the toilet seat and accept them from him.

"Thank you, that's really nice. I'm... not sure, that the root beer will fix this, though." I speak carefully, sitting down and holding the items in my lap close to my stomach.

"Course it will! I poured some in Mateo's ear once when he had an infection... I think it worked?"

Probably not. "This is a lot bigger then an ear infection... Kinda permanent, too?"

"Oh god, is it cancer?" He pauses for a moment but before I can put that particular worry at rest... or remind him that cancer is not always permanent... he makes it worse, and I fight not to facepalm. "The plague??! Its still a thing, you know. Jesus, its not that is it? Please tell me its not that! That would be the worst!" I mean... yeah, it would.

"Oh- no no! No, nothing like that!! I'm just pregnant!"

... wait.

Immediately I want to take back my words and say them differently- because is that really the way I just broke it to him?? Oh my god. My hand slaps over my mouth- then pulls back an inch to speak again, but is definitely on guard to slap again and prohibit anymore stupid to come out. "I mean! ... N-no big deal?" My voice gets tiny. "At least its not the plague, right?" I'm just making this worse, so I cover my mouth again.

Marcus does not respond, and I can imagine his face crystal clear, without having to look. He would have his mouth hanging open like a cartoon character, his shoulders have dropped, eyes are blank, and he's pale as hell. Oh god... oh god oh go oh god... I cover my whole face now and just try to breath evenly, and not talk anymore. I was right! He's not going to even like me anymore, this is going to ruin how he looks at me- I cant have Marcus look at me coldly. I really cant.

Finally, a few minutes later the door to the bathroom creaks open again and I know it's not Marcus escaping because I can still see his boots under the door and they haven't shifted in a while. Amy's voice rings out, too loudly in the stock silent bathroom. "... everything okay in here? We haven't heard anything in a while- Marcus?"

He doesn't respond.

I hear Amy walk in now, her heels click-click-clicking on the tiled floor. "Marcus? Marcus, are you okay?" She snaps her fingers, assumedly near his unresponsive face. I slip my fingers down to just cover my mouth, straining my ears to hear any movement from him. "Wake up!" Another snap. "Marcus wake up."

All of a sudden I hear shifting and his boots shift slightly and I squeeze my eyes slowly shut- now he speaks. Now's the part where he speaks. Now's the worst part! He either leaves, or stays. "Uhh... I'm awake, okay?"

...

Amy and I are both startled by the seriousness in Marcus' voice- Amy evidently in the way she responds, backing out of the room. "... Okay! Um, well talk. To Y/N. I'm... just gonna... wait outside... "

Marcus just grunts in response, turning back to my stall door. Then he wraps his knuckles against the surface and I flinch- unsure whether to unlock it and be a grown up or stay hidden away like I really, really want to. Its not like I'm afraid he'll hurt me or anything, not at all! Its just... I don't like to disappoint people and I'm terrified at seeing his face. "Y/N? Can you come out, now?"

"Ummm... no... " I wince, keeping my eyes closed to the world. As if that'll hide me from it.

"No???" He asks, bewildered.

"No... "

Marcus' voice isn't at all as cold-serious as it was when he spoke to Amy, but still. There is still definitely an unfamiliar focused quality about it, and its making me nervous. "What? Come on. What do you think's gonna happen? I'll yell at you? Come on, that's not gonna happen; Come out. "

"I'd really rather stay in here... " I fire back.

"Don't be scared of me." He really does sound trustworthy... but that fear, man; She's one unrelenting bitch.

My voice goes high pitched when I answer, too vehement to be the truth. "I-I'm not! Silly! Why would I be scared of you??" My eyes open up again and I just wince. Such a liar.

"Aghh... " I just listen to him shifting around out there looking for something for a bit, or thinking of what to say next, while I myself sit and think comfortable that there is nothing that will make this worse, seeing as I'm safe and sound in this toilet stall... before his boots disappear from my vision under the door and I hear him disappear out of the bathroom then return again almost immediately, going into the stall beside me and putting something down on the toilet seat in there.

Oh my god- he wouldn't dare! He would not-

Then all of a sudden he's climbing over the wall and I have to jump off the toilet seat and press closely to the stall door, root beer and snack still hugged in my arms like teddy bears. Marcus eases himself over the wall and onto the toilet seat before my eyes, then jumps off it to the tiles again in front of me, while I gape wide at him. "I- what- Marcus!"

"Well you weren't coming out! It was my only option!" He exclaims, and now that I see him I do relax a bit. There's no coldness in his face now, and there is certainly no unfamiliar, unfriendly seriousness, either, seeing as the man just climbed into a toilet stall to get to me. Very Marcus-y. I slowly let out a relieved breath, which is still also a 'calm down' breath as the pressure is certainly still on. I can see him, but he can also see me.

Eager to avoid the issue at hand, I snap. "You might've kicked me!"

"No, I wouldn't have." He makes a defensive 'pshhh' sound immaturely, waving me off with a hand before resting them both on his hips and looking right at me. I give him my own dubious look right back- What makes him so sure??? He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, anyway." Suddenly, a beautiful big smile spreads across his face; the kind that still makes me a little bit weak and almost forces me to smile back. Even now, in this situation. "This is great."

And then I'm speechless, mouth closed and eyebrows furrowed together. ... Great? What? Quickly he moves to clarify, before grinning that goofy grin of his. "The pregnancy! Man, I've seen enough girlfriends get pregnant over the years... its nice to see one having my baby." A moment passes and my system is just registering this reaction - not even relieved, yet. Just in shock and a little less anxiety, - before he drops his smile, raises an eyebrow, and adds: "It is mine, right?"

Still shocked, I answer as if the question was more on the lines of 'That was my cupcake that I just ate, right?'. Meaning, probably too casually. "Oh- oh, yeah! Abs- absolutely." He doesn't seem to mind.

He beams again. "Great! We'll be awesome parents- that is assuming you wanna keep the baby, right?"

"Uh... " All I want to say is yes, right now. Even as the complications of raising a baby right now linger in the forefront of my mind. But at the same time I'm looking at Marcus and I just want to. I want to have the baby, and I want to do it with him... in the moment, he's the absolute perfect person to do it with. I choke out, "Yeah."

He fist pumps the air at that response, and finally the relief starts to settle in my stomach and my heart... a smile grows on my own face. My eyes even get a little watery with the powerful relief. "YES! That's right, I'm gonna be a Dad. Whoo! We gotta tell everyone. But how, do you think? Should we get a cake or something that says it in icing?? Or should we just go out there and announce it over the speakers? Or should we just not tell anyone? Cuz on the one hand, I wanna tell everyone- but on the other... I don't really want Carol to know you're pregnant. That could be bad."

"Um... " I don't even know what to say. I just want to hug him, so I do. I step forward and wrap my arms around his middle, burying my face in his coveralls and the body I've become so familiar with over the past months that smells so uniquely - and not always so pleasantly, but definitely comforting, - like Marcus and squeeze tight, closing my eyes. He smells like that 'new furniture' smell that's really just 'warehouse', and an unfamiliar home, and a little bit of B.O.

Thank god.

Amy was right. Of course she was. Even when I was stressing, I knew the image I had of Marcus getting mad about this didn't feel quite right, but... you have to prepare yourself for the worst, you know? I'm just so glad he's the way he is though, as he wraps his arms around my shoulders in return and bends his neck to press his cheek to my head. "I'm really happy about this. And I know we haven't figure anything out. With us, with money, with anything actually, but... we will, okay? I'll do my best, I promise."

"... Thank fuck." I chuckle, although its muffled and get a similar sound from him in return. "I'm really happy, too." He rubs my back in that rough, comforting way that guys do and I might as well melt; He's too wonderful. I bite my bottom lip, thinking my next move through before taking a deep breath and deciding to take the plunge and ask. "... hey... um... b-boyfriend?"

Marcus immediately pulls me back and holds me at arms length, a crazy-big grin splitting his face. "Oh, yes! This day just keeps getting better and better; Come on, we definitely have to tell everyone this, lets go." Excitedly, he slips past me and unlocks the stall door finally, but pauses and turns back to me before its pushed open at all. I tilt my head in curiosity- what's up? "Unless... congrats sex?"

...

Oh my god- a snort, transforming into a laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. I pull him closer by the front of his coveralls, grinning at both the idea and how silly he is and gently tug him down closer to my level. I close my lips and knit my eyebrows together understandingly. "... How about you come over after work? First we should probably deal with the others? You know, the ones hanging outside right now?"

"Oh, yeah, probably. Oh man- I'll be basically related to Jonah now!" Oh- well- not exactly but... okay fine. If it makes the guy happy. "Ha ha, look forward to seeing this face every Christmas, bro." Oh boy.

I just grin at that - Goodluck Jonah, - before leaning up the rest of the way and pressing a careful kiss to Marcus' lips which he immediately returns with enthusiasm, hands abandoning the stall lock and collecting my waist instead.

This is going to be okay.

It will work out. I hope.

BONUS:

Later in the breakroom while Marcus is busy with talking to some of the other Cloud 9 employees about the news, Jonah takes the seat next to me and I raise my eyebrows at him- he's obviously dying to say something. I know my brother at least that much. He sighs.

"So... you... haven't eaten the cheese, right? I mean, I have but I'm hoping you haven't been put through such, uh, cruel and unusual torture... "

"Oh, no. Absolutely not. I managed to convince him it was cannibalism for women." I grin, returning immediately to my Cloud 9 Caesar salad as Jonah sighs long and hard in relief, relaxing back into his chair.

#Superstore #Superstore Oneshot #Oneshot #Superstore x Reader #Superstore Marcus #Marcus White #Marcus White x Reader #Amy Sosa #Jonah Simms #Superstore Isaac #Superstore Jonah #Superstore Amy #TW: Pregnancy #TW: Panic attack #TW: Stress #TW: Anxiety

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nhlandotherimagines · 4 years

Text

Oh Brother- Nolan Patrick (ft. Travis Konecny)

Author’s Note: I’ve been working on this for ages, and I finally just said ‘screw it!’ and am posting it! I’d love any and all feed back, and please tell me if you find any mistakes I’m the worst at editing! Thank you in advance!

Summary: Baby Konecny, that’s all you’re known as now that you’ve moved in with your older brother Travis. You love your brother, but things get a little difficult after one night at a bar with his bestfriend Nolan. Okay, and maybe one night turned to more, but Travis can’t know.

Tagging a few people, so if for any reason you would like to a) not be tagged on this particular post for any reason or b) would not liked to be tagged on any of my posts please do not hesitate to tell me ☺️ @anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya @titobeauvs @bigboigritty

Word Count: 8.4 K

WARNINGS: This is definitely ✨spicy✨ at times, 18+ (sexual themes), cursing, alcohol, ANGST, anxiety, lying about/hiding a relationship, hospitals, some cute moments as well of course. (Please let me know if you find anything else in here that should be mentioned here thank you)

_______________

“Hey Y/n/n, you coming out with us after the game tonight?” Your brother Travis yelled to you from the kitchen of your shared apartment. You had just moved in with him a few months ago to start school in Philly, so you hadn’t gotten out much.

“You really think you’re okay with your baby sister going out with you tonight TK?” You added giggling to yourself as you pulled on your Flyers jersey. “Well you need to get out and see the world kid!”

“Call me kid again and I will set Nolan on you during warm ups.” You smirk joining him in the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

Travis’ face twists a little, but you choose to ignore it. “Fine! I’ll go.” You add shoving his shoulder lightly. He smiles at you, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You don’t press him on it though as you both get ready to head to the arena.

“Trav and Nolan seem off, do you know what’s up with them?” You hadn’t really noticed, but now that Travis’ girlfriend Karly was pointing it out you could totally see it.

“I don’t know, but when I mentioned sticking Nolan on him earlier for calling me a kid, Travis did get a little weird. I hope they are okay.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, you know how Trav can be at times!” Karly smiled reassuringly. The two of you continued to talk throughout the game, and soon enough you were waiting together outside the dressing room. Thankfully Travis and Nolan came out of the dressing room together both laughing which was a good sign.

“Hey babe!” Travis smiles wrapping his arms around Karly lifting her off the ground. You roll your eyes playfully and smile up at Nolan. He winks down at you, and your face heats up slightly.

“What’s up baby Konecny?” Nolan smirks down at you, resting his elbow on your head to emphasize the height difference. “Nolan I swear to god you’ve gotta stop calling me that! Just because I’m TK’s sister doesn’t mean I enjoy you pointing it out.” You scold, trying to ignore the butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Oh my bad let me try that again.” He clears his throat dramatically and drops his arm so it’s around your shoulder, “What’s up baby?” His voice is deep, and you nearly choke at the pet name. You open your mouth, and close it immediately. Unable to form any coherent sentences. Thankfully Travis finally turns to you, a frown on his face as his gaze comes to Nolan’s arm still around your shoulder.

“Alright then, are we ready to go?” He asks awkwardly. You and Karly share a look, and Nolan’s arm falls from your shoulder. You try not to think about it, but you already miss the contact and feel cold as he steps away from you. “Let’s go!” Karly smiles, and starts dragging you out to the parking lot by the wrist. She is practically running, and yells to the boys that you are both going to the bathroom before you leave. This seems odd because you had gone not even a half hour ago as you both waited for the boys.

“Do you seriously have to pee again? You didn’t even drink that m-“ You started to question but Karly quickly cut you off. “NOLAN IS INTO YOU!”

“Woah! What!? Karly what are you talking about?” Your heart rate sped up and your face felt like it was on fire.

“That’s what is wrong with Travis. He is pissed off that his best friend is into his little sister! I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” She is mostly just rambling on to herself and you feel sick. “He’s not into me Karly, he’s just nice to me because I’m TK’s baby sister.”

She stops and stares at you for a moment before her smirk grows even wider. “Oh. My. God. You’re into him too!”

“Nooo! No. No. No. Karly I am not, don’t even say that.”

“Why not?”

“Travis would kill me if he found out that I like Nolan!” After the words spilled past your lips followed by a moment of silence, your eyes nearly popped out of your head. “Karly I didn’t mean-“

“OH MY GOD! This is amazing!”

“SHHHH! What if they hear us!?”

———

After a few moments to collect yourselves, you head out to the car. As you open the passenger door of Travis’ car Karly grabs your arm. “Do you think I could sit in the front with Trav?” You know exactly what she is doing. “But I always sit shot gun...” you whine.

“Y/n, seriously just get in the back it’s a five minute drive back home.” Travis sighs out, rolling his eyes at your dramatics. You groan inwardly and climb into the back with Nolan.

“So Patty are you coming over to pregame with us?” Travis asks watching Nolan in the rear view mirror as he starts the car.

“What you meant to say I think is ‘Hey Patty will you come over and babysit y/n/n so Karly and I can fornicate before we go out?’ and the answer is yes I can, but I’m drinking your liquor and you better keep it down this time.” Nolan smirks at you once again and you quickly look down at your hands a smile tugging at your lips.“Yeah I’m with Patty here, I don’t need to hear that again!” You and Nolan laugh together in the backseat as the two in the front seat do their best to deny the accusations.

——

About an hour later, you are stepping out of your room dressed in dark jeans, a band tee, and a leather jacket. Your hair is curled a little, and your makeup all done. “You clean up nice baby Konecny” Nolan smiles at you from his spot on the couch as he tosses you a can of beer.

“Am I gonna be stuck living in your boyfriends shadow forever Patty?” You giggle cracking the beer and falling on to the couch beside him.“Jealous?” He grins, leaning back and stretching his arm across the back of the couch just behind your head.

“Not in the slightest.” As you both sit in a comfortable silence, you can hear music starting to play down the hall and you groan loudly and check the time on your phone. “They do this every time!”

“Oh don’t be such a baby y/n, they’re in love.” Nolan teases. “Yeah well they will still be in love tonight when I’m passed out drunk and can’t hear them.” You grumble playing with the hem of your shirt, and take another swig of beer.

“Sounds to me like someone needs to get laid” You immediately spit out the beer in your mouth choking on it. “Point proven.” He chuckles

“Hey! I get laid plenty thank you very much!” You shoot back at him after catching your breath. “Oh yeah? Must be when we are at the rink then, because last I checked TK hasn’t seen a single guy step foot in this apartment. And I know you don’t go out.”

“Why do you care?” You spit at him, becoming angry because you know he’s right. With that Nolan leans closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your neck. Subconsciously you tilt your head revealing more of your neck to him. You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he whispers, “Gotta keep an eye on my competition.”

“What the-“ You don’t even have a chance to process the words when Travis’ voice makes you jump.

“Travis! Ready to go?” You practically shout, the nervousness pouring off you. Already on your feet walking towards the door.

“Wow TK that was fast. Not sure if I should be congratulating you or apologizing Karly.” Nolan chirps. You can feel the tension in the room, but no one acknowledges it. So soon enough you’re all packed in an Uber. Travis and Nolan both have their heads stuck in their phones, and Karly’s hands are all over Travis. It’s all really uncomfortable for you, so you’re the first out when the car pulls up to the bar.

Ignoring the entire group you make your way inside and to the bar, trying your best to flag down a bartender. “Want a hand short stuff?” You feel your breath catch in your throat as Nolan’s hand falls to the small of your back when he slides into the spot next to you. You just nod in response, as Nolan orders you a drink after quickly catching the attention of the bartender. He smiles down at you, and his hand slides lower so it is now resting dangerously close to the top of your ass.

“You look really good tonight Y/n.” You blush and mutter out a weak thank you, “You don’t look too bad yourself Patty.” Before either of you can say anything else your drinks are placed in front of you. Grabbing them quickly, you made your way to the booth Travis and Karly had claimed for you all.

“Wanna dance Y/n!?” Karly asked hopefully, a wide grin on her face. You chug about half your beverage, and take her hand as she drags you to the dance floor.

You and Karly dance for awhile together and you try and forget about the boys entirely. You’ve been mostly successful in that until you feel two big hands on your waist and a body dancing against you. You’re having too much fun to really care about the stranger dancing with you, until Karly speaks up about it. “Y/n, Nolan hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night! I think he’s jealous!” She smirks wiggling her eyebrows.

“You’ve been making eyes at my brother all night, how would you even know? Besides he’s not jealous.” You throw back, ignoring the pit forming in your stomach. You really wished Nolan felt that way about you, but he doesn’t. He couldn’t. You’re just baby Konecny. A frown creeps it’s way onto your face the farther in your thoughts you get. You’re so lost in thought, that you don’t even notice Karly slip away to find TK. It’s not until you feel the warm hands leave your hips, that you manage to tune back into your surroundings.

“I think you are done here man, go find someone else to bother.” Nolan is now standing between you and the guy you’d been dancing with. If you had been able to stop staring at Nolan, you might have even noticed how attractive your dance partner had truly been. “Nolan-“ You try and butt in to tell him it’s okay.

“Listen dude I didn’t know she was taken I’m sorry!” The mans hands go up in defence as he smiles apologetically at you. “Yeah well she is, so you can go now”

Your heart stops at his words. You knew it was just him playing the protective big brother roll, and hell TK probably sent him to do it. That doesn’t mean you didn’t feel things when he said it. “Okay I don’t know why TK told you to come over here, but I am quite capable of taking care of myself!” You scold him crossing your arms. You push past him bumping his arm as you head towards the table again. You don’t manage to get far though before Nolan’s hand is wrapped around your bicep. “He didn’t.”

You turn around to face him, and are taken aback by how close he is. The look in his eyes indecipherable. “What?” You manage to croak out, unable to comprehend what’s happening because you’re so nervous.

“TK didn’t send me over here. In fact Karly and TK left 5 minutes ago, but how would you know right? You were too busy basically having sex with that guy on the dance floor!” His words are sharp and his grip on your arm tightens slightly.

“I was not! And even if I was Patty, what’s it to you? Maybe I’d like to have a guy take me home for once, maybe I’m sick of having to go home and listen to my brother have sex with his girlfriend!” You’re yelling now, but as Nolan’s eyes darken you get nervous. “You’re not my babysitter...” you mumble dropping your eyes to stare at your feet. “I know I’m not your babysitter Y/n, but I can’t let you go home with strangers.”

“Why not? I’m an adult!” You’re sure you sound like a whining child at this point, which is not helping your argument. Nolan groans. He lets go of your arm and runs his hands over his face and stares up at the ceiling. “Because. Because I want to take you home. Okay?”

“N-Nolan what are you talking about?” Your heart is pounding in your ears, and your head is spinning.

“Y/n, I’m sorry if this is weird, but god I think you’re amazing and there is nothing I want to do more than be with you tonight. I want to be the one you dance with like that.” He lets out a shaky breath, before finishing, “And fuck Y/n/n, I want to take you home with me.” Before you can even comprehend what all of it means you’re stepping into him. You run your hands up his torso and down his arms slowly. He’s eyes are watching your every move, as you spin around so your back as facing him. Grabbing his wrists you set his hands on your hips, smiling over your shoulder at him. “Then shut up and dance with me Patty.” Nolan smirks, and pulls your body flush against him. You move your hips against his, biting your lip hard as you feel his bulge rub against you. His lips attach to the base of your neck, leaving sloppy kisses in a trail to your ear. “Y/n-“ he whispers in your ear, “let me take you home.” It’s a desperate plea, but the way he pulls your earlobe between his teeth as he pulls away makes you rub your thighs together.

“Nolan-“ you practically moan his name, “This is a bad idea.” With that he grips your hips, spins you around, and crashes his lips to yours. He is trying to communicate how it’s not a bad idea, or if it is, that it’s worth it. And as you melt into him, becoming more needy, you know he’s right. You barely make your way out of the bar and into the Uber before Nolan’s hands are roaming your body more freely. His lips are searching yours, as his hand creeps up under your tshirt. He moans against your lips when his fingers reach the lace of the bralette you were wearing. You arch your back in anticipation of his hands finally palming at your breasts, but you groan in frustration as he pulls away from you entirely. “Someone is needy!” He chuckles, “we are here.” He winks at you paying the driver and practically drags you out of the car into his building.

When you both finally reach his apartment he unlocks the door letting you inside. As you stand in his living room you start to feel self conscious. “Baby come here.” Nolan’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you follow it into the kitchen. The pet name fuelling the fire that had been growing in you all evening.

Before you turn the corner into the kitchen, you pull your shirt over your head and throwing it to the floor. There is no going back now. “Fuck.”

“Are you just going to stare at me all night Patty, or are you going to fuck me? Because if not I’m just going to do it myself.” You smirk at him, running your hands down your sides stopping at the waste of your jeans.

“Jesus Christ! I was ready to bend you over this counter, but I think watching you touch yourself sounds pretty fucking hot.” He smirks and pats the counter looking at you expectantly.

———

Your evening started in Nolan’s kitchen, and eventually you found your way to his bedroom. The chemistry between you two, was undeniable. Nothing prepared you though, for the feeling of waking up in his arms. You were facing him, his face inches from yours. His breathing was shallow, and his cheeks their usual shade of pink. He was beautiful. “Anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?” His voice was groggy and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t sexy as all hell.

“I wasn’t-“ you began your protest, but were cut off by your phone ringing loudly from the nightstand.As you roll over to grab it, Nolan groans in protest. Your stomach drops when you see the name flashing across the screen. “Oh fuck!” Nolan’s eyes are wide when you turn back to him, terror evident on your face. “It’s Travis.”

“Hey Trav, what’s up?” You answer, hoping he doesn’t pick up on how unsteady your voice is.

“Where are you? Are you okay? I tried getting Nolan on the phone to see what happened last night.” His voice is laced with worry, and guilt washes over you. “I’m okay, I promise.” You’re practically whispering into the phone. Nolan’s eyes burning into you with his hand covering his mouth in shock, isn’t helping your nerves.

“Holy shit, y/n, did you go home with someone!?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “Umm- uh- yeah I guess I did?”

“Atta girl! Do you want me to come get you?” He asks, and you nearly throw up at the thought.

“NO!” You cringe outwardly at how fast and loudly you protested. “I’ve already ordered the Uber, I’ll be home soon!” With that you quickly said your goodbyes and hung up. Immediately getting out of bed, and searching around for your clothes. You can feel Nolan’s eyes on you.

“You could just stay awhile you know.” His voice is so soft it almost doesn’t sound like him. “Right!” You laugh humourlessly, “and would you like to explain to my brother that it was actually you I slept with last night?” As you look over at him for the first time since you left the bed, all the air is sucked from your lungs. The sheets draped around his waist, an arm resting behind his head, his hair a mess. He looks so perfect, but his face twists at your words and the look now present in his eyes is one you can’t place.

“The kitchen.” He responds lazily. Your brows furrow in confusion. “Your clothes. They are in the kitchen.” He adds, but his eyes don’t meet yours. Your mind wanders to last night in the kitchen, and you can’t help the smirk that comes to your face. Walking slowly back over to Nolan, your place a hand on his cheek. He leans into it, and your heart melts as his gaze finally meets yours.

“I had a good time last night. We should do it again sometime.” You wink at him and he chuckles lightly in response. “We just can’t let my brother know we are fooling around. He’d kill us!”

“Sure. Yeah.” He responds shaking his head and kissing you lightly. “Don’t tell your brother.”

———

“Took you long enough!” The words were out of his mouth before you even closed the door.

“Jesus Trav, I’m an adult I shouldn’t have to let you know exactly where I am and when I’ll be home!” You glare at him, as you kick off your shoes and basically fall onto the couch. He laughs at you as you let out a loud groan. “Long night?”

“You have no idea!”

“Okay ew gross!” He whines covering his ears.

“You asked! Besides I’m sure your night was just as eventful!” You laugh as he gives you the finger, walking down the hall.

———

Over the course of the next couple months you found yourself falling into bed with Nolan more than you’d care to admit. You also wouldn’t admit how much you enjoyed spending time with him. He was always so sweet to you, and you wanted more than the whole “friends with benefits” arrangement, but you knew you couldn’t have it, even if it was something Nolan wanted too. Which it wasn’t. The only part you really hated about this whole thing, was hiding it from Travis.

“Nolan needs a date to the Christmas charity dinner.” Travis announces as he falls down on the couch between you and Karly. He had just gotten back from practice, so when that was the first thing out of his mouth you and Karly both looked at him in confusion. “You should go with him Y/n, he says his new girlfriend is too shy to go. So you should go with him, because it wouldn’t be weird y’know?” He states matter-of-fact-ly.

“Babe, why would going with Y/n be any less weird than going with anyone else?” Karly speaks up before you can, because your mind is running a million miles a minute. Did Nolan have a girlfriend? He couldn’t. Right?

“Because, it’s not like there would be anything happening between them. It’d give his girlfriend peace of mind.” He shrugs getting up from the couch, and walking into the kitchen. Karly sends you a sad look, and you feel sick.

Travis really had no clue what was going on, and you should be trying to keep it that way. You couldn’t help the question falling past your lips though, as he came back in the living room with a glass of water. “So who is this girlfriend whose job I’m expected to take for the evening?” You groan internally at how jealous that sounded.

“Dunno,” Travis shrugs, “he gets pretty flustered any time someone asks about her. Doesn’t want us to know I guess. The only reason we even found out about her in the first place was because Patty kept showing up to the rink covered head to toe in hickies and scratch marks.”

“Sounds to me like this girl is just a hookup Trav.” Karly adds and smiles at you. She is obviously trying to make you feel better about the fact the guy you like is with another girl. She doesn’t know however how much that comment hurt. It’s you, you’re the hookup. Travis shrugs once again and takes a sip of water, turning to watch whatever bad reality show Karly had put on to watch. You tried to watch too, but the tears that stung at your eyes threatening to fall, forced you to get up quietly and slip out the front door.

Not sure what to do next, you pulled out your phone pressing Nolan’s contact. “Hey Y/n, what’s up?” He mumbled as he answered your call. “Hi- can I uh” you hesitate for a moment as the first tear slips down your face, “can I come over?”

“Uhhh I’m kind of busy at the moment.” Your stomach drops at his response, and the tears fall faster as you try and hold back a sob.

“What did you need?” He speaks again when you don’t respond.

“Oh- Travis said you needed a date to the charity dinner, a-and I was just thinking we could talk about it.” You say, voice breaking slightly. “It was stupid anyway, never mind.” You cover your mouth quickly to muffle the sob you’ve been suppressing. “Y/n, are you okay?” You can hear the concern in his voice, he knows you’re crying now. You can’t form any words, so you shake your head even though he can’t see you. You let yourself cry now, no longer fighting it as you slump against your steering wheel.

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.” You can hear him pulling on his shoes and grabbing his keys. “I-I’m in my car.” You manage to get out in between sobs, desperately trying to stop crying. You want to object, and tell him you’re fine, but you can’t. You need to see him.

“You stay right there, you’re too upset to be driving. I’ll be there soon. Okay?” You hear him get into his car closing the door. You nod in response, and even though he can’t see you he seems to know. You expected him to hang up, but he doesn’t. Instead Nolan puts you on speaker phone, but he doesn’t say much. Instead you hear him muttering to himself about stupid drivers and occasionally telling you he’s almost there.

You must have spaced out, completely focused on the anxiety driven sobs wracking through your body, because you don’t notice when he hangs up. Moments later your car door is opened, and a hand is placed gently on your thigh. “Y/n.” His voice is so quiet you almost don’t hear it, “what’s wrong?” Embarrassment floods you immediately. You groan throwing your head back against the headrest, wiping at your face in frustration. You try once again to tell him you’re okay, but your voice is gone. You just shake your head and and try to stop the tears.

“Look at me please.” His voice is both firm and pleading. You drop your gaze to wear he is knelt down next to your car. His thumb is rubbing soothing circles on your thigh, and his eyes are full of confusion. The tears that had slowed mostly to a stop, sting your eyes again. You want to jump into his arms, and just stay there while he holds you. You know it’s not an option, so instead you let out a little whimper tears falling again. “I’m sorry.” Your voice is barely above a whisper and cracks as you say it, but you manage to muster out the apology.

“No. No, don’t be sorry. Hey it’s okay!” He wipes the tears from your cheek with his free hand, but they are immediately replaced with new ones. “I’m going to call TK, he will know what to do.”

“No!” You practically yell at him in protest. “P-please don’t.”

“Okay.” He looks at you, concern once again written all over his face. “What do you need?”

“You.” You regret the honest answer as soon as it slips past your lips, but decide to keep going anyway. “Fuck, Nolan I’m sorry I just- I’m really confused, and I just. Im sick of being Travis’ little sister. I’m sick of being baby Konecny and when I’m with you, I feel like I’m me. Like I’m just y/n. That’s all I want, but I feel guilty about it. And I know that the boys are giving you a hard time about “your girlfriend” so I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m holding you back, and I’m sorry I’m jeopardizing your friendship with Travis. We can stop now.” Nolan says nothing. Instead, he reaches across your lap and unbuckled your seatbelt. He gently frees your arm from it and then pulls you into his chest, and rubs your back. You step out of the car and wrap your arms around his waist as tight as you can, your legs feeling like jelly beneath you. You both stay there for a moment, as you cry against his chest.

“You’re upset. Why don’t you come stay at my place for the weekend and have a little break from TK?” Nolan mumbles into your hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. You push back from him, and look into his eyes. You were going to yell at him, tell him this was only going to make things worse, but maybe he was right. Some time away from TK and Karly would be good. “What do I tell him?”

Nolan shrugs, “That you’re staying at a friend’s place?”

“Okay.” You sigh, and Nolan smiles at you. The smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it still makes you feel a bit better. Nolan let’s go of you and opens his passenger door motioning for you to get in. You do, and he closes it gently. He closes and locks your car as well before hopping in the driver’s seat.

You decide to text TK.

Y/N: I’m going to be staying at a friend’s place for the weekend. See you Monday?

TK: Sure! Everything okay?

Y/N: Yeah! Don’t have too much fun with the apartment all to yourself 😛

“It’s going to be alright you know? You’re not holding me back from anything.” Nolan speaks leaning over and giving your knee a reassuring squeeze. And maybe, it will be.

________________

You had spent the rest of the afternoon with Nolan between your legs. Nothing you hadn’t done before, but there was so much more emotion behind it, that it scared you.

As you laid in Nolan’s bed after your afternoon activities, his hand ran gently up and down your back. Tracing patterns across his chest, you let out a content sigh. You opened your mouth to tell Nolan how you felt, to ask him what this was to him, but before the words could even form on your tongue a knock on the front door caused both you and Nolan to jump up.

“Shit.” Nolan grumbled pulling a pair of shorts on, “I’ll be right back.” You frowned in response and got out of bed pulling on a pair of Nolan’s shorts and one of his hoodies. Little did you know, that just down the hall your worst nightmare was unfolding.

“Travis! What are you doing here?” Nolan said just loud enough for you to hear, and your body froze in fear.

“Hey Patty have you heard from Y/n at all? I’m a little worried about her. Wait a second is your girlfriend here!?” You could hear the excitement in Travis’s voice, when he realized he might finally get to meet the mystery lady.

“Um- yeah, now isn’t really the best time TK.” Nolan mumbled and you can practically hear his cheeks heating up, from your spot in the hallway just out of view. Your hands were shaking as you lean against the wall, trying to control your breathing.

“Oh shit! Did I interrupt something?! Dude you shoulda just told me! I’ll just call Y/n if you haven’t heard from her.” At that your heart stops. Where is your phone? You set it down when you got there.

“Okay, see you later TK!” Nolan basically shouts, trying to close the door you assume. Relief begins to wash over you, and you feel like you can breath again.

However, the relief leaves just as fast as it came, when you hear your phone ringing. Stomach dropping, as the memory of setting your phone on the table by the front door comes to mind.

“Nolan.. why the hell is Y/n’s phone in your apartment?” You can hear the anger in your brother’s voice. “Teeks I can explain” Nolan’s voice is weak, and your heart breaks a little despite its rapid beating in your chest.

“Great idea Patty! Please explain to me why you didn’t bother telling me my sister was your secret girlfriend!” He’s fuming and you don’t know if you should rush to Nolan’s aid or climb out the fire escape. “She’s not actually my girlfriend...”

Ouch.

“Okay so you’re telling me you’re just fucking my baby sister!? I’m going to fucking kill you”

“Travis stop!” You surprise yourself as your running to put yourself between the two best friends. “Please don’t.” You whimper the last part. Tears streaming down your cheeks, as you use your arms to push him back trying to keep the distance between him and Nolan.

“I told you she was off limits! I told the whole damn team that they weren’t allowed to mess with her. So what? You just thought you’d fuck your best friend’s sister like some cheap whore when you could have any girl in Philly!?” Your face twists at that. You know that Travis didn’t say it to hurt you, but you couldn’t help feeling sting of hurt mixed with jealousy you wish you didn’t feel.

“I-it’s not like that” Nolan mumbles out. Your heart crumbles at his limited response. “Travis, take me home.” You plead, trying not to let more tears fall.

“Y/n- don’t-“ Nolan reaches out for you, but Travis shoves him. Hard.

“Travis! Please!” With that, you lose it. Hands shaking, sobs escaping you relentlessly, and you can’t catch your breath. Both guys stop, eyes snapping to you. Travis wraps his arms around you, affectively keeping you upright.

You don’t hear anything else, or see anything else. Everything stops.

_____________

Your eyes flutter open, and you’re met with a white ceiling. Head aching nearly as much as your chest and you groan. “Y/n/n! You’re awake!” It’s Karly’s voice that startles you, “are you okay?”

You don’t know where you are, or what happened really, but you can only manage to ask two questions. “Where is Travis? Is Nolan okay?”

“Y/n-“ you can hear the pity in her voice. “Oh god!” You start crying again, “this is all my fault!”

Karly speaks softly to you, telling you everything is fine. Telling you Travis is coming, and that Nolan will be fine. You hardly listen. You just allow yourself to cry until you fall asleep.

___________

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. You knew it was wrong, and I told you it would be fine. I’m such an idiot.” You listened to his voice as he mumbled, hand gripping yours as tight as he could without hurting you. Keeping your eyes closed, you fight back the tears. It hurt so bad, everything hurt. You couldn’t face him, you were embarrassed, and heartbroken. “Nolan, I think you should go.” Travis’ voice makes you wince inwardly.

“Teeks, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt her, or you. Tell me she’s gonna be okay.” Nolan’s voice breaks and he lets go of your hand.

“The doctor said she is okay, she needs some rest. She is just stressed Nolan.” Travis sounds just as defeated as Nolan’s, “I’ll text you if anything changes I promise.” You could hear Nolan get up and leave, and honestly, your heart went with him. When the realization hit you, you’re shooting up in the bed eyes wide gasping for breath.

“Y/n/n-“ Travis starts, as he rushes to your side.

“I- I’m sorry Travis. I’m so sorry! God I’m so so stupid.” You start rambling, chest heaving, breathing shallow.

“Slow down! Just relax please, you’re okay. It’s okay.” Travis is squeezing your hand now, concern for you evident in his features.

“I ruined everything. He’s your best friend, and I ruined it...”

“Nolan and I will be fine. This is between him and I, not you. Don’t blame yourself ple-“

“I love him!” Your sudden outburst shocks you just as much as it shocks Travis. The silence that follows is deafening. You try to think of something to say, anything to make this less awkward. Before you or Travis can speak though, someone at the door clears their throat. Your eyes snap to the source, and your stomach drops to the floor.

“I- uh I left my keys” Nolan mumbles, scratching at the back of his neck. His cheeks are red, and his left eye is purple and swollen. Travis sighs and mumbles something about giving you a minute, before he gets up and leaves the room. Not without bumping a little to hard into Nolan’s shoulder. More awkward silence follows, and this time you manage to find words first. “Jesus Nols your eye, are you okay?”

“It’s nothing.” He mumbles.

“It’s not though! I’m sorry, about all of it. I shouldn’t have gone home with you, I shouldn’t have called you, I shouldn’t have kept it from TK, and I shouldn’t have said that I lo-“ you stop unable to say it again, “Well you heard. You didn’t need this drama.”

“So you regret it?” His entire body tenses.

“You don’t?” You laugh out humourlessly

“Lying to my best friend? Yes. Taking you home? Being the person you call when you’re upset? Falling in love with you? I’ll never regret any of that. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’ll leave you alone now.” He says the last line with so much hurt it kills you. He snatches his keys off the table by your bed and turns to leave, but you grab his wrist. “You don’t mean that. You don’t get to say that and leave me.”

“What do you want me to do?” He raises his voice. You’ve never seen him like this. “I can’t stay. You wanted to leave my place last night. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I didn’t want to leave Nolan I wanted you to fight for me, for us! I wanted to hear you tell my brother that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. I know you don’t though, and that’s alright. But you do not get to say you fell in love with me, and walk out of here like nothing happened. You don’t get to fuck with me like that!” Tears fall slowly down your face, and you let them. Sure you probably looked like a hot mess, but you didn’t care anymore.

“I thought this was just sex for you. I didn’t think you wanted anything more than a distraction from your brother’s life. I tried to get you to stay with me that first morning. I tried to show you how much I wanted you in my life yesterday. Y/n I drove like a bat out of hell from the rink to pick you up because you were hurting. I was at the rink talking to Giroux, trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to ask Travis for his permission to date you. Actually date you. I’m in love with your stubbornness. I’m in love with your aversion to being called baby Konecny. I’m in love with how you look in my jersey even though you refuse to wear it because ‘why wear mine when you could wear one with your last name’. I’m in love with your laugh and your smile. I’m head over heels for you baby, and I can’t stay here. I can’t stand seeing you in that bed knowing it’s my fault you’re even there, knowing that when you leave you’re going home with Travis and not with me. I can’t stand around and watch you hurting, only to make it last longer. I’m sorry.” His whole body seems to deflate as he adjusts the keys in his hand.

“Nolan I didnt know.”

“Yeah well...” he mumbles, and refuses to look at you. With that you let go of his hand and he’s gone.

________________

“Well Miss Konecny you should be good to go. Just take it easy for the next couple weeks alright?” You were hardly listening to the doctor, but really he was more talking to Travis than you. After signing discharge papers, Travis helped you out to his car. He stops opens your door for you, and you mumble a thank you. You’re so caught up in your own thoughts, you don’t

“Trav?” You say, after awhile of driving. “Yeah?” He asks, taking another turn you’re sure is just taking you away from your shared apartment. “Where are we going?”

Pulling over and parking the car, Travis looks over at you guilt written all over his face. You look out the window, taking in your surroundings for a moment before it clicks. You’re in front of Nolan’s building. “Travis please no...”

“Y/n/n listen. I’ve never in my life heard Nolan talk about anything too real. When he left the hospital, he stopped me in the hallway. He apologized for hurting me, and you. But you know what else he told me? He told me he wouldn’t take it back. He said that if his options were to have you for those few months again or to take it all back and have it never happen he’d hurt me again. He told me he loved you, and that he still does. He said he’s not sorry for loving you, but he’s sorry he didn’t do it right. Then I called Claude. He told me about Nolan just about in tears trying to figure out how to make it work without hurting his friendship with me, but mostly about preserving our relationship. He was worried about what would happen between me and you. He is so into you, and obviously you are into him. So into him, and so worried about it you landed yourself in the hospital. I was the issue here, so now I’m going to fix it.” He pats your knee soothingly. “Please let me.” You can only nod, and pull yourself out of Travis’ car. He drapes an arm over your shoulder and pulls you into his side.

“You hit him didn’t you?” You ask quietly in the elevator ride up to Nolan’s floor. “I did. I thought he was using you. I was so upset. He didn’t fight back, he wouldn’t even defend himself. I’m such an asshat.” He admits

You nod in response, and hug him as tight as you can. “That’s my big brother, the asshat. Thank you for always looking out for me, but you really shouldn’t have hit him.” He whispers an apology into your hair as the elevator doors open. “Now let’s go get your man! Ew no, I’m not calling him that ever again.”

You laugh at that. Travis smiles at you as he knocks on Nolan’s door. You wait patiently, but nothing happens. The door never opens. Travis knocks again. Nothing. Your heart feels like it’s breaking all over again. Travis continues knocking. He even tries calling Nolan. Nothing.

You reach out and grab his wrist to stop his assault on Nolan’s door. “Trav. It’s over, it’s okay. He doesn’t want this.” Before he can say anything, his phone rings. Both of your eyes snapping to it hopefully. You deflate as you see Karlys name flashing across his screen. You sigh and slide down the wall beside Nolan’s door, as Travis answers.

“Hey babe. Well I decided to take Y/n to Nolan’s apartment to try and fix this, but he is refusing to answer his door or his phone.” You groan a little dropping your face into your hands. You feel pathetic. “Are you kidding me right now!” Travis’ last line comes out much louder than the others, and you jump a little. Looking up at him you see an expression you can’t quite read. “Stay there! We are on our way!”

You’re pretty sure he doesn’t even wait for Karlys response before hanging up. “Trav? What’s wrong? Is Karly okay?”

“Karly is fine, but we have to go.” With that he’s grabbing your hands and pulling you off the floor and out of the building. Foregoing the elevator, and instead rushing down the stairs like a mad man.

“Travis what is going on!” You’re frustrated and he’s not responding to any of your questions, as he jumps into his car. You follow suit, grumbling under your breath. The drive isn’t that long, and you spend most of it wondering why Nolan wouldn’t answer the door. How were you supposed to go on seeing him all the time again? He wants nothing to do with you right?

Your mind is still spinning when Travis pulls into his parking spot. Karly is already waiting outside.

“Listen Y/n/n, you’re going to be okay. If things with Nolan were meant to be they will be. Karly and I have to go, but we will be back later okay? Call me if you need anything.” Travis’ voice is soft, but hurried as he leans over and opens your door for you. The confusion is clear on your face as you get out of the passenger seat. Karly sends you a quick apology before sliding into your spot.

And then they were gone. Before you could even ask where they were going, they were gone. You’d never felt more alone in your entire life. The one person you wanted to see wants nothing to do with you, and your support system just up and left you.

As you make your way slowly up the stairs to the apartment, tears fall for what feels like the millionth time in the last 48 hours. Your heart was so unbelievably broken, and you couldn’t even starts to think about how to put it back together. As you finally made it to the door, you unlock it and let yourself in. As you close it, you fall back against it small sobs escaping you into the quiet apartment.

“Y/n?” Your eyes snap up, heart beating a million miles an hour.

“Nolan? What are you doing here?” There he was standing in front of you, dressed up and holding a bouquet of your favourite flowers.

“Well- I uh came to apologize. I’ve been here since Travis text me to say you were leaving the hospital. What took you guys so long?” He chuckles nervously, but makes no effort to move closer.

“We went to your apartment. Nolan I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. God I was so stupid, I don’t know how to make this better.” You’re shaking now, overwhelmed by emotion.

Nolan sees you struggling, and quickly closes the distance between you both. Dropping the flowers along the way his hands find your hips to hold you up. “The past is in the past babe. We can’t change it.” You deflate at his words, fresh tears springing to your eyes.

“But,” he adds, placing a finger under your chin lifting it up so you’re looking at him. “We can start again, and do it the right way. I don’t wanna hide you.” His eyes slip from yours to your lips. Your heart skips a beat, as he leans into you pressing his lips to yours in a kiss like none you’ve shared before. This kiss is not driven by lust, it’s all love. It’s slow and steady, as he pulls you closer to him. You stay like that awhile, both to afraid to stop. Nolan pulls away first though, so you can both catch your breath.

You smile up at him, reaching up to gently touch the stitches above his left eye. You frown a little, as he flinches but doesn’t stop you. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” Nolan mumbles, cheeks heating slightly.

“Really? Because I was just about to say it looks kinda hot.” You smirk up at him.

His fingers flex on your hips, eyes going a little darker. “You’re gonna be the death of me Konecny.” His voice is deep and it sets your whole body on fire.

“Stop talking and kiss me already Nols” With that Nolan’s lips are on yours, and his hands are on your thighs lifting you off the ground with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist as you pins you to the wall. A moan escapes your lips as your hands find his hair, tugging it lightly. The kiss grows needier by the second, and you’re getting impatient. As you push your hips into his to get some friction, Nolan pulls away.

“We should slow down.” Nolan sighs, as he sets you back down. “Why?” You pout, gripping his shirt and trying to pull him back into you.

“Because, I want to do this the right way. Let me take you out first before I fuck you in your brothers apartment” he chuckles.

“We’ve had sex before Nolan. Besides,” you say, running your hands up his torso to the back of his neck. Tugging on the hair a little before you continue. “Wouldn’t fucking his baby sister all over his apartment be a great way to get pay back after he punched you in the face.”

“Y/n. I’d rather not have my best friend kill me before I even get a chance to show you off. He could walk through that door at any second.” Nolan groans glancing over your shoulder to the door.

“You’re right he could.” You smirk as you start kissing his neck.

“Babe-“ he warns, but it lacks sincerity and you take that as a win. “Can it Patrick. Let me have my fun!” You wink, sliding down to your knees.

And just like that, he was at your mercy. He was a total mess above you, hands gripping your hair tightly as you took him in your mouth.

The fact Karly and Travis could walk through the door at any moment to see the two of you. Nolan with his head thrown back, pants at his ankles, and you, hands gripping his thighs tightly and tears forming in your eyes. It had your senses heightened. On edge already, your pussy clenching on nothing.

When Nolan came, his name left your lips followed by many profanities as you swallowed his cum. You smirk up at him, and trace your finger over his tattoo lazily. “Worth it?”

“Fuck, so worth it princess.” He groans pulling you to your feet attaching his lips to your neck.

Nolan pulls away after a moment and you whimper slightly at the loss. He chuckles as he pulls his pants up and you groan in response. “Sorry baby, but standing just inside the door with my pants around my ankles is not a good look.”

“I liked it” you pout, “your legs are nice.”

“Oh yeah?” He quirks an eyebrow at you, a smug grin growing on his face. You nod, cheeks heating up slightly. “Especially your thighs.” You wink.

Nolan throws his head back and laughs pulling you into his chest. “You’re amazing you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” You wink up at him. His grip tightens on your waist, and his smile grows impossibly wider. Your heartbeat quickens as tears spring to your eyes, and you do everything in your power to hold them back as you press your forehead against Nolan’s chest.

Everything feels so perfect in that moment. You’re not Travis’ sister. Not baby Konecny. Nolan isn’t Travis’ best friend. Not the Nolan Patrick. He is yours, and you’re his. The only think that matters now is how at home you feel standing awkwardly in the hallway embracing each other, with no intentions of letting go.

#nhl #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #Nolan patrick rpf #rpf #travis konecny #hockey rpf #nhl writing #hockey writing #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #hockey fan fiction #Nolan patrick fanfic #Nolan patrick fanfiction

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mskimkaty · 4 years

Text

URS| J.JH

Fluff, smut

wc: 5k

synopsis: One thing led to another, and you didn’t meant to fuck up, majorly.

warnings: smut, smut with plot, unprotected sex, manhandling, swearing.

"Come on. I promise you it will be fun." You rolled your eyes for god knows how many times as you scan through your biology book. You have an essay due tomorrow and you're idiotic of a brother is asking you to come party tomorrow Friday night.

"Oppa, Really. I have so many papers piling up, and I can't afford to slack off. Ask Taeyong or Johnny Oppa or someone! I know for a fact that you have tons of friends, why are you bothering me?" You brush the strands that poke on your forehead and continued with what you're doing, you're one blunt girl but your brother isn't having any of it today. You heard your Doyoung lets out a sigh and you almost dance in victory assuming that he's gonna kiss your head goodbye and let you have the peace you deserve.

"They are going! Don't you want to come? Everyone's coming including your friends." He pleaded once more and your eyes instantly shoot up at him.

Did they just bail on you on a Friday night? You asked yourself— Maybe, They did.

You continued typing on your laptop while scanning the book placed on your right side. "I don't know, Oppa. I have tons to do. But I'll let you k— fine! I'll come! Okay!" You surrender once You saw that he won't back down from talking and You just need your own sweet peaceful time back. Finally, Doyoung kisses the side of your head "It's a deal, Here is your fav, caramel macchiato," He hands you the drink with a shit-grinning smile that makes him a look like a bunny beading you goodbye before reminding you that's it's a settled deal.

Seriously, he won't last a second with you once he spots his brothers from his damn frat house. You decided to call Seulgi and ask if they really are coming and that imbecile brother of yours, practically lied to your face without blinking. But since it's a Friday night, Seulgi decides to ask the others to come.

On Friday night, the others basically made you a living doll, pampering you here and there, applying cosmetics, and choosing an outfit for you.

"You can't do that, Sooyoung-ah! Y/N's very conservative in that area!" Joohyun shouted at Sooyoung for choosing a black off-shoulder that clings on your shapes like a second skin and deeps lowly in your chest area, the material is thick enough to keep you from the cold air but it leaves you with bare shoulders—still, you don't think it's a good idea, It was already getting cold. "Yeah, that's my main purpose. She has the biggest boobs in this room, why not be proud and parade it? Yah, don't be embarrassed by God's gift, a lot of women want big boobs, especially someone like yours, It's not small but it's not that big to look awkward either, plus, women pay loads of money to have that kind of boobs," She stated.

"I can't believe we're talking about my body parts," you muster all the courage not to punch this Unnie for blabbing nonsense but everyone agreed, either way. "Please don't let me wear that," You begged, already hating the idea. "Unnie, that's too low, just one accidental pull and-" you were cut off from talking when Wendy smirks at you. "Who's going to pull your top? Unless if you're going to have a productive night and let someone pull it down, then yes, definitely. You're going to parade your boobs,"

She's in the fashion department together with Sooyoung and nothing or no one is stopping the two of them when it comes to deciding someone's attire and their opinions are always validated especially when it comes to clothes.

"You gotta be kidding me!" You move out of Sooyoung's hold when Seulgi showed you a nipple tape. "Yah! Kim Y/n! stop acting like a Goddamn pre-schooler and use this already!" Sooyoung Shouted grabbing your arms again and caging you using her arms around your neck.

Fuck your life.

Fuck growing up as a conservative chick, it was hard when you grew up with two older brothers, basically growing up wearing varsity shorts and not the colorful skirts like a normal girl would do. You did go with that off-shoulder top pairing it with a white tennis skirt. Totally parading your cleavage and shoulders not to mention the lack of shorts for protection under your skirt making you want to turn back and walk your way out of this goddamn house. "Hey, look guys I have big boobs." Written in your forehead. Seriously, they won't let you live a peaceful life.

Upon arriving at your brother's frat house, you heard someone whistle "If it isn't our baby Y/n!" Yuta hollered when they spotted Sooyoung and you walking in the foyer towards the inside of the house. It was already packed, empty vodka and beer bottles are already scattered at the side of the kitchen, there was a huge container at the center island that contains different kinds of beers placed in a stack of ice cubes. Your mouth watered. You wouldn't mind a good cold beer.

"Cut it out Yuta, She's not a baby anymore," Seulgi retorted already chugging her second bottle down her throat "I know! It's just that it's my first time seeing her with a skirt and not her brother's pants on." Yuta received dirty glances from the others and a hard punch from Jungwoo who hugged you— his baby sister protectively. You felt Jungwoo's knuckles hit you on your head and you pout your lip at him, "Yah, what are you wearing?" he asks you,

"I know I look ridiculous," you say as you rolled your eyes at him. Jungwoo doesn't think that you looked ridiculous, it's just that, he wasn't used to seeing you wearing girl clothes and not the usual ones where he and Doyoung don't need to protect you from prying eyes around.

"Fuck you, That's my sister you're talking about." Doyoung gives him a playful nudge and Yuta only smiles wickedly like a perverted mad man, you were used to him, though. He was just being himself and teasing you. You were thankful, for hyping you up, so you felt a little confident as you grab for a beer after Donghyuck gives you your first shot of tequila for the night, your throat instantly heats up as you take the liquid in, the night is long.

"Yeah, I'll remember this you fucking moron," you joked, probably ignoring him for the rest of the evening, jokingly. "So this is the famous Phi kappa house," Wendy says looking around, spotting Eunwoo in the process from the living room walking towards your group with Jaehyun in tow, walking behind him while holding a beer in his hand and his phone in the other.

You actually don't know him that very well since you're still a freshman, and you just heard he's from the Architecture department, one of your brother's new frat brothers, Sooyoung mounted that Jaehyun was in an exchange program and was originally from the states, you see him for a few times around campus but that was that. You never greeted each other, unlike the others, or even acknowledge one another.

You scan the living room where everyone is getting wasted from every corner of the house. "Where's Johnny by the way?" Irene asked no one in particular scanning the area. "Getting laid," Eunwoo said pulling Wendy to sit on his lap. There was a brief emotion in her eyes that you can't decipher but you ignore it anyway.

"But Mark said he's with him, though?" Seulgi commented while Eunwoo only shrugged. Yuta and Donghyuck handed each one of you your drinks. Another strong scent of vodka makes it way up to your nostrils, your head spins just by smelling it, Sooyoung grimace at the smell, "This is basically; Vodka with a drop of juice in it."

"Watch out, Noona. The Juice is probably for color only." He whispers and she winces more. "Who the fuck even mixed this?" She asks as she took a sip at her drink. Jaehyun laughs at her.

"Jung fucking Jaehyun!! you little shit," She hollered. "Sorry, Noona." he winks at her and you watch the both of them in the sides. You wished socializing was that easy. You hate how awkward you get sometimes.

"Y/n's not good at drinking." You heard your older brother says and you look at him. "It's fine, let the girl cut some slack besides we have tons of people in the group to take care of her later," Johnny says after suddenly appearing at your side with Mark hugging you. "My favorite human being- Girl, What the fuck are you wearing?!" Mark's hands stayed on your waist and Jungwoo watched as Jaehyun's eyes linger on where Mark's hands was placed around you, he only smiled wickedly as he watches his Hyung chug on his bear problematically.

You gather the courage to drink the vodka in just one gulp. The strong taste leaving a trace in your mouth down your throat. It leaves a cool sensation but at the same time drawing a burning line down your throat. You accidentally made a weird sound and you sounded like a drowning piranha. The others only looked at each other and then bursting out laughing after registering the weird sound you made. Donghyuck hugged you after shouting "My Noona, so cute!!" at the top of his lungs while hugging you tightly.

The night went by, the sound booming in the house as you jam to it in the corner with Jungwoo, Mark, and Donghyuck, Jaehyun tagging along. Sipping in your vodka now and then.

"I'm going out, it's too suffocating in here," I blurted clumsily. As I start to walk, you felt Mark's hands in your arms. "Why?" you asked.

"You're drunk. You don't really think I will let you go on your own. In a party- looking like that." Mark says protectively. "Come with me then." You asked. Mark looked in front feeling conflicted, you followed his gaze and you saw him eyeing a girl who was basically eye-fucking him in return. "Suit yourself." You turn to Donghyuck who were busily conversing with another girl in the side. "I can't believe you choose to get your dick wet first rather than keeping your best friend company." you turn to Jaehyun who was looking at you. "I'll come with you, I was thinking of getting a smoke either way," Jungwoo says.

You clumsily withdraw from Mark's grip. "Fine, I'll take my boring of a brother with me then." Mark nodded seemingly unaffected and Jaehyun only laughs at him as he shakes his head.

You decided to hang in the garden area. "Wait- hey," you turned to face him "Just a minute," Jaehyun leaves his bottle behind before grabbing his leather jacket. You stop mid-sentence a big what the hell is written on your face. "You're not my brother. Where the hell is my brother?" you asked your eyes unfocused. Jaehyun put his jacket on, his bubbly facade was completely gone as he turns to you.

"Well, for starters, you drag me here," Jung Jaehyun says "Oh- my bad. You can go back if you'd like." you sit on one of the chairs in the garden. Closing your eyes in the process waiting for him to walk away but you hear the clang of metal and a chair being dragged instead. You opened your eyes knowingly. Jaehyun, sitting in front of you.

"Well, fresh air isn't that bad, either," like you, Jaehyun closes his eyes for a moment, basking in the silence with the soft bass booming in the background "But it's your party, you should go back, Oppa." you watch him for a second but decides to close your eyes again, the fatigue drowning into your body suddenly, hearing you call him that does wonders inside of him, you honestly don't mind calling him that even though you both weren't in terms to have that kind of relationship yet but you consider all your brother's friends who are much older than you a close friend already.

Jaehyun was wearing his usual black t-shirt with his denim ripped jeans, with his white clean snickers making a sound as he tapped on the floor probably jamming to the music from the house. He always wears black shirts, If not black you sometimes see him wearing white, he was so basic when it comes to his clothes but still looks good that it's maddening. Not that you're checking him out on a daily basis, you had eyes, and you always see him everywhere.

"It's my house, but not my party." He says as you continued drinking from the cup you were holding, you tried offering him the cup you were holding and he reached out for it, you watched the way his Adam's apple move in fascination.

You blinked the thoughts away. The drink making you feel hot, "So why did you transfer here?" you tried making small talks just to ignore the unwanted thoughts about him. He smiled and cocks his head to the side, his smile becoming faint as he stares at your drunken state. you can barely keep your eyes open but still sip from the same cup the both of you were sharing.

"Okay, that's enough." He blurted messily. Even he can't form the right words to say. "Enough with the drinking." He added.

"Are you trying to babysit me?" you asked. Dumbfounded. You laughed at the idea. "You haven't answered my question, though." you sit with your legs crossed and you put your forearms on your knees leaning closer to him, Jaehyun sees the deep in your top, your cleavage showing more than intended, skin glistening under the lights, he moved his eyes away from your form, mentally cursing.

"I just needed the scholarship and the University offered one so I took it." He says, that made you confused for a second, "I thought your family is loaded?" you asked. "Were comfortable," he answered you. Disbelief was written on your face "Isn't that what super-rich Asian kids answer with that type of questions?" he laughs at you. "Both my sisters are also a scholar back at home, I had to be a little competitive, it runs in the family."

Damn.

"They do?" you asked. He shifted his gaze everywhere but you. For some reason you wanted his attention on you, there was a sudden change in his demeanor as the mood between the both of you change, "You're making this hard for me." He says with finality. You tilt Your head to the side. "Then, aren't you going to do something about it ?" you asked laughing. You stood up walking back to the house. He's head moving as his eyes study every move you make, you back up and turn to face him,

"Y/n, I don’t do one night stand," He blurted his lips forming a tight line after, Jaehyun walks to you, grabbing you by the waist, you grab at the back of his neck, taking your time and looking at his lips with the same want he gives. "Then, this is our day one." you say your last words before pulling him for a kiss.

Kissing Jaehyun felt- wet, You felt his arms circle your waist as he hoists you up to cradle him, making you break the kiss. "Won’t you regret this in the morning?" He manages to ask before you dig to taste his lips again. "I still think you’re drunk and will probably regret this in the morning,” He blurted out, you pulled him again lips meeting, “But oppa, that’s not the problem right now, and I really think we should think about that tomorrow.” you convinced him, Jaehyun was having the last bit of patience and he just want to take you to his room and fuck your brain senseless.

This kind of confidence is new to you, though, this wasn't your first time getting laid, it wasn't like you do this normally, either. You still remembered your first time, it was during your senior year, there was this one guy who acts like he swept you off of your feet but doesn't even last 5 minutes into the sex, his dick wasn't small per se, but it wasn't that big either, though, you can't really tell, it's not like you have seen lots of different male sex to compare, you remember it had hurt, and just, hurt in general. He sucked at sex and only minded his own release, penetrating you without getting you wet first. Your mind came back to Jaehyun when he sucks at the skin below your right ear and you shivered at the pleasure. You don't even understand the logic of you kissing Jung Jaehyun when you're not that close. What would Doyoung and Jungwoo think? or how would they even react? "What are you thinking?" Jaehyun broke the kiss once again, feeling that you're somehow distracted. His thumb draws small circles at the inside of your thighs and you cling to him as he walks through the back door to the basement of the house where it was exclusive for the members only. and I'm kissing him.

Once inside, he put you down, "Just thinking of my brothers," you answered. "Please don't tell me you're going to back out and leave me hot and bothered."

"Of course not." you pull him back down and attached your lips to his, Jaehyun broke the kiss once again and lead you to the stairs up to his room, the lack of people made you look at him questioningly but he just pulls at your hand, Jaehyun opened the door to his room, shoving you against it and kissing you desperately. You moaned at the pain shooting at your back, something flashed in his eyes; realizing how manhandling affects you.

He broke the kiss and study your reaction. "You can't keep doing this to me." He manages to say. You were so ready and wet for him, and he's not even doing anything to you besides kissing you. Jaehyun lowered his head on your neck just where your weak spot is and a soft moan escape from your lips.

You pushed him back as you kiss him, backing up until the both of you fell to the mattress of his bed with you straddling him. Tonight was supposed to be just a normal girl's night out. But, here you are making out with Jung Jaehyun, both of your brother's best mate.

You are so fucked up.

Jaehyun lowered his head and attached his lips to your neck, lapping on it just where your weak spot is as a soft moan escapes from your lips. Jaehyun, he can't even control his urges at this point anymore, seems like keeping his hands off of you would be a problem in the future, the heat in his lower body was already rising as he kissed your slightly parted lips. Your body was a victim of him, your sight getting blurry at the intensity of his kisses. Jaehyun run little kisses down your skin, removing your top in one go, as much as he thinks you look fucking good on it, he wants nothing to do with it.

Jaehyun's breath hitched when he saw your bare chest. You mentally pat your head for going against the nipple tape, it would be fucking embarrassing to get rid of it in this situation. He grabs your breast causing you to flinch, a sigh-like moan escaping your lips, His fingers painlessly kneaded the mounds of your breasts, distorting them erotically in his palm.

Jaehyun find your scent sweet, he was marking you inside his head,

Mine,

He was hooked with intense possessiveness and desire, palming you through your undies, making you ark your back against the bed and rubbing your heat against his hands for much better friction, you were so, so close. The heat in your core being unbearable.

"You keep surprising me with how dirty you are," he murmured against your ears when he realized you were just wearing your undies without a protective shorts. Jaehyun played with the hem of your panties before ripping them off you. "Let's keep the skirt, I want to fuck you in it."

"You're fucking unbelievable, Oppa. What am I going to wear later?" you ask while heaving, waiting for his next move that he'll do. Jaehyun took one breast into his mouth and sucked on it, his tongue lapped around your stiff bud, biting it lightly before repeating, something hot flowed from your already wet core, making the two of you stop at your ministration, "fuck, fuck, fuck." you chant like a mantra.

Jaehyun couldn't believe that you're coming just from that. Your body was so responsive that the idea got him rock hard in instant. You turn away when Jaehyun strips from his clothes, embarrassed to see him naked so suddenly, his cock springing up, your mouth watering at the sight, Jaehyun grabs at your ankles when you come down from your high, you turning limp but doesn't protest, spreading you apart and positioning his self between your legs. Then, an overwhelming force suddenly pierced through you in one go, moaning at the delicious stretch you felt with being filled by his cock.

You were a moaning mess by now, Your pupils dilated, choosing to breathe as Jaehyun rams at you anomalistically, you felt dizzy by the sudden intense pleasure of being overstimulated, your sensitive walls squeezed tight as if rejecting him,

Jaehyun growled against your skin, "Fuck, baby, loosen up, You're too tight."

One more thrust and Jaehyun already got you spasming around him, Jaehyun grunted lowly. "How obscene, I just put it in and your body likes it so much." your face heat up in embarrassment, body tightening on him causing him to let out a suppressed groan as he comes undone inside you.

You smirk at him, watching his expression as you flex your thighs around him, prolonging his orgasm, his eyes trembled holding down your forearm above your head, "You like it, Oppa?" you asked smugly at him, tired, and being over-stimulated also by him. "How fun," you wrapped your legs around his waist and tightly squeezed where your lower abdomens met.

"Y/n," He growled, seeing your eyes sparkling with mischievousness, Jaehyun's lips curved oddly, deciding to play the game you were playing, he smirked and grab at your thighs, pulling them apart, he pulled out and rammed back inside, hard. You screamed at the pleasure, you know it was the beginning of a fierce-long night of sex that's seemed to never end. Jaehyun's hard erect cock penetrating endlessly through you, tormenting at the same time pleasuring you.

you screamed against him, forgetting the party going downstairs and ignoring the phone chiming down the floor with all the worried text messages from your brothers and Unnies. Halfway through, the two of you lost your senses with how good the fuck is, you falling asleep as fatigue runs through your body after Jaehyun manages to pull four more orgasms in you.

Rays of the sun coming from the outside sipping through the curtained window were hot against your skin, making you come to your senses. You look at the unfamiliar vicinity, every piece of furniture was unfamiliar to you. A big flat-screen television hangs on the wall in front of the bed. You look down to see your clothes lying together with an unknown shirt and pants on the ground.

You moved slightly. Groaning because of the pain you felt. Horror strikes your face when you registered that someone's arm was draped in your bare stomach.

Holy fucking shit

You lifted your head to see someone sleeping beside you. A mop of brown hair greeted you, thinking hard to remember the past events of last night. Flashbacks of last night start to flood in your memory and you mentally slap your face. You wanted to scream your heart out in pure panic and stupidity but that wouldn't be a nice idea. Instead, you slowly lift his arm, got out of the bed, and pick your clothes up, Horrified at your ripped undies.

you ran to the bathroom as quietly as possible. Turning the faucet on as you see your reflection in the mirror. Red marks were all over your neck and chest. What the hell did you do last night? No, why did you do that last night?!

You quickly get dressed. You need to get the hell out of here before he wakes up and asks you questions even you don't know how to answer yourself, worst being rejected straight up and be doomed for the rest of your college life.

You left. Hopefully, without leaving any traces behind. When you got home Wendy was watching the television. Upon entering, she bombards you with questions, asking why you can't be contacted only then you remembered you don't have your phone with you. fuck, way to go on not leaving any traces behind. You borrowed her phone and tried to dial your number.

"Hello?" a man's voice answered the call and you instantly cut the call off. You know it's him. How can you forget the voice of the man screaming your name against your eras last night?

You change into more comfortable clothes after taking a long cold shower, if only you can remove every trace of what happened last night, the evidence is all over your body. It's already 3 in the afternoon, your headache isn't helping with the situation, and you self-pity yourself in your room.

You cried because of your stupidity. Goddamn that alcohol, You swear to never drink again. You heard a knock on your door. Wendy's head pocking from outside. "Can I come inside?" you manage to say a small yes.

"What happened to you?" She asked. You tried to form a suitable lie inside your head but Wendy bit you to it. "The last time I saw you last night was when you were dragging Jaehyun outside and you two never come back inside, again."

in fact, you did, using the back door.

You know you can easily dodge the question but Instead, the guilt it you out of humiliation. "Unnie, can we not talk about this?" you cried. Wendy left after consulting you once more, you were grateful that she didn't push you to talk about it.

The nect day, Jungwoo visited your apartment handing you, your phone back. "Jaehyun Hyung give this to me, says it was yours." you waited for him to ask you questions about your whereabouts but he didn't, still he didn’t let the opportunity slide to make fun of you and Jaehyun.

On Monday you were at a café near the University's entrance when you felt someone sit next to you, you look up from your book to see who it was and after hours and hours of hiding from that person; here he is sitting next to you.

He dared not to look at you, voluntarily pack your things, ready to escape when you heard him say "You know we need to talk things through." you looked at him in horror. Why can't he just let this slide? why does he care so much? I've been ignoring his calls, He probably put his contact number on your phone before Jungwoo came and returned it to you.

"Can we just pretend that it never happened?" you blurted. "That was a one-night thing. We were both drunk. Can't you just let it be? Just thank me for it. I won't add from all the girls you banged and probably want's your support or want something from you." you harshly retort.

"What?" he asked you frowning, both of you looked at each other before he breaks contact and looks away. instantly turning a bright shade of pink. "Just, forget it." you blurted and walk off.

You vented all your anger in your classes, putting all your focus on every subject, by the time you were done with your last subject, you spotted Jung Jaehyun outside your class waiting, both hands in his jean pockets, his hair looks like he'd been running his fingers on it all day, his white t-shirt was clinging to his body, his orange ID lace tells him from the architect department.

You lowered your head, hugging your books closer in your chest, trying your best to walk past him without him seeing you. "Y/n." warm hands grab your left arm, you jolted from his touch as if you were electrified. You reacted by moving away from him, giving him more space than you intended, Jaehyun on the other hand looks angry. This reaction made him think that you were disgusted with what happened between you two, when you're really not, Halting from your steps you stood face to face with him.

"Oppa, what are you doing?" you asked, looking around as he attempts to hold your arm again but you panicked when you saw some curious eyes on both of you and the last thing you wanted was for the student body's attention on you. You jerk from his touch "I told you to drop this." you whispered, walking away from him but being the tall guy that he is, it made no effort for him to walk up beside you. You fasten your pace but to no avail, was useless to him.

"We need to talk," he said as he drags you to the gym, both of them entered the locker room where the lights were off only the lights coming from the outside were your source to see his face.

His face turns into a frown. "Stop taking me as a joke," he blurted. If he thinks you're taking this or him as a joke, he was wrong. You just want this to never happen and you don't want to be one of those girls on the lists that he victimized, you beg to defer. plus, talk about being scared of the rejection, you don't want it happening to you to the point that you started pushing him away.

"Why? Do you think this is a joke for me? I won't waste my time searching or even waiting for you if I think of this as a joke." shocked was evident on your face and he attempts to touch you. "Don't !" I squealed, putting my hands in the air across his face to stop him. "You know, I told you I don’t do one night stand with just anybody.” he says, you racked your head searching for a specific moment and then you remember how you practically throw yourself at him even going to the lengths of saying that night was your first day as a couple.

"I feel disgusted by myself don't you know that? you want to talk? Fine, I don't want to be rejected, honestly, I'm saving my face from the humiliation, we had sex," you hysterically said. "Just because we were both drunk!"

you breathed some air in your lungs, a dumbfounded Jaehyun in front of you. "Don't look at me like that."

"You don't understand," he said seriously. “Im not taking no as an answer, you brought this up on your ownself.”

"What? don't understand what?" you asked. you ran your fingers through your hair, seriously getting tired of this. both of you were just running in circles. you couldn’t believe Jaehyun was like this, like a lost puppy, looking like a lost puppy, "If you think I don't understand the situation, then don't you think you should elaborate it more for me?" you asked. You both locked eyes, he's obviously thinking, finding the right words to talk you into this. He put his hands in his pockets. "This is different, at least for me," was the only thing he said.

"I don't believe you. and I don't need you to be responsible," you said. "Oppa, Just please forget it," you turn around and walk once again ready to leave him as a handgrip your arm but this time pulling you back harshly to be faced by him again.

You felt yourself collide with his rock hard body, his lips on yours as you tried to focus your eyes on him, you accidentally drop all the books that you have when you felt him put his other hand on the back of your neck, kissing you deeply and pulling you incredibly close, leaving no air to pass through you and him. Stuck in the same position, you did not dare to move.

He reached for your face and deepen the kiss. "What the hell-" you pushed him away but for some reason, your energy leaves the soul out of you.

He slightly nibbles at your lower lip and you automatically responded with the same urge his giving you, knowing this is wrong and that you should probably stop this, but your mind and body won't cooperate and you suddenly remembered the sensation he makes you feel back then, thinking about the situation, kissing in a dark place with only the two of you making lewd noises made you wet down there. A soft moan escapes your lips as his fingers slightly gaze at your skin just underneath your blouse.

"We both know what we want. And obviously, your body doesn't lie," he said, eyes the darkest shade as he gazes down on you with a smirk on his lips.

"Is this how you get to bed girls? because you totally got me."

"No, I'm telling you, I want you. In every way possible."

yeah, short fic for my bub so what :(((

#jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun #nctsmut #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun #nct x reader #nct 127

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