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#i need to know who the people think is the best mom
lostbookmark · 2 days
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Read the original story here
Summary: You thought planning your wedding was going to be a magical memory. You didn't realize that it might make you second guess everything. 
Pairing: Fiancée Yoongi x Insecure F. Reader
Genre: Romance, Angst, Smut, Hurt-Comfort
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Toxic Family Dynamics, Arguments,  Sex Toys, Self Doubt, Over Thinking, Yoongi Overworking Himself,
A/N : Here is a super small teaser for Whispered Vows. I'm hoping in about 2 weeks or so, I'll feel comfortable enough to start posting. Enjoy!
Entering the code to Yoongi's studio, you watch him as he sits at his desk with big headphones draped over his ears. His head was bobbing up and down to music that he was working on, and the clicking sound of his keyboard filled the quiet room. Closing the door, you walk over to him and gently place your hands on his shoulders, massaging them slowly. He groans, and his head falls forward in pleasure. You can feel his stiff shoulders start to relax under your touch. Sighing, he reaches around the back of his chair and pulls you into his lap. Yoongi takes off his headphones, tosses them gently on his desk, and gives you a quick kiss before resting his head on your shoulder. You run your hands through his dark hair, trying to comfort yourself from the stress of the day.
“How was lunch?” he asked, pulling his head away from you to look you in the eyes.
“There was no lunch. There were, however, five different wedding venues,” you tell him, and he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at you questioningly.
“What? I thought you told your mom to stop that,” he said, eyes drifted back to his screen. His slim fingers go back to clicking away on his mouse.
“I did, but you know that she won't listen,” you say, pulling on the black strings of his hoodie. You twist them tightly around one another and let go just to have them unravel. “One of them held 300 people and cost about 20 thousand dollars.”
“Excuse me?” he says, looking at you with wide eyes. You fully have his attention now. “20,000, 300? Who needs 300 people at a wedding? We are not spending 20k on a venue. A beautiful dress that I get to rip off you at the end of the night…sure.... but not the venue.”
You roll your eyes at him and shove him with your shoulder lightly with a small smile on your face. “Yeah I know, but supposedly it's going to be an extravagant event with a lot of important people. With you being all rich and famous….I have to impress people. I was told we need the best champagne, chandeliers, fondues, and the perfect sunset,” you explain.
“Rich and famous,” he said with a laugh. “That’s just stupid. Unless....is that what you want?” He asks you, eyes flicker between you and the screen .
“Of course not. What do you want?” You counter as your fingers continue to twist the strings of his hoodie.
“I want what you want,” he said distractedly, not even looking at you this time. His fingers continued to click away at his mouse. His focus was back on the crowded screen, which was his computer monitor as he watched colorful waves move across the screen.
Yoongi has been busy. Maybe that's why you haven't set a date or had any details figured out yet. He's been pulling long nights in the studio just to come home a couple of nights a week to sleep for a few hours and shower. He was usually gone by the time you woke up on those nights. The last thing that you wanted to do was bother him with questions about your future wedding. You didn't think centerpieces were high on his priority list right now. He promised you that this was only temporary, but honestly, you're not sure. Several artists that they have signed are growing in popularity, and the demand for songs are coming in strong. He's tired. You can see it in his face, and you can't see this stopping anytime soon.
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A Guiding Hand 8
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No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, parental neglect, depression, inference of self harm, violence, abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: your online academics are affected by your personal struggles but your professor won’t let you give up so easy.
Characters: Raymond Smith, Lee Bodecker in the background
Note: I am tireddddd.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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Professor Smith dresses you in a set of pajamas; white with blue stripes. They’re not your size, you assume they might be his. You’re not sure. You’re too woozy to think about much more than your throbbing hand. 
He lays you in the hotel bed as you shake uncontrollably. You’re freezing cold but he keeps touching your forehead and saying you’re burning up. How can that be when you can’t get warm? 
Your lashes flutter between glimpses of him pacing and sitting on the edge of the bed. When all is dark, you see his shadow beside you. His breathing suggests he’s asleep but you can’t tell. He’s up again as a halo of light shines around you. The lamp limns his figure as he pets your cheek. 
“Sweetheart, shh, you’re alright,” he coos, “no need to cry.” 
You’re crying? Why? You can’t remember. Your mind is a bubble of fractured thoughts and vague scenes. You can’t make scene of much between the visions of this man. 
“Fever’s broke,” he lays a wet cloth over your brow. “Very good. We’ll be off in the morning, won’t we?” 
“Mom?” You murmur in confusion. 
“Mm, let’s take one step at a time before all that, yes?” He caresses your cheek with his thumb. “Back to sleep.” 
He shuts off the light and you’re cast into grim blackness. His weight jostles the bed and you feel him spread out next to you. The bed is more than large enough for you both. 
“Professor,” you croak weakly. “What’s...” 
“In the morning,” he girds. 
You accept it, “sorry.” 
“Never be sorry,” he reaches over to squeeze your arm lightly.  
You lay in silence. Your eyes close on their own. You are completely drained. You sink down into a solid void that suffocates away all light and life. When you awake again, you’re alone. You might think it was all a dream if it wasn’t for the bright hotel walls. 
You remain as you are. You don’t have the energy to get up. You lift your hand and look at the bandage wrapped around it. It feels better and your fingers aren’t swollen. You bend them. It still hurts. 
The door opens and you drop your arm. You squeak at the pain. 
“Sweetheart, is all well?” Raymond rushes over, a tray in his hand. “I was only meaning to fetch some of the complimentary breakfast before we depart.” 
You blink and shake your head, “fine. I’m... fine.” 
“I hope you like coffee--” 
“Coffee?” You whimper and close your eyes. “Coffee...” you mutter. “I went to get coffee and...” 
“Yes, that fiend meant to attack you. You see, I did not come without purpose. How could I sit back and see you neglected?” 
“You don’t... I don’t know... you.” 
“Hush, hush, you must be hungry,” he insists. “It is good to eat. You are weak from the infection still. You must take care--” 
“My mom--” you look at him. 
He sucks in air and his jaw tenses. He steels himself and his fingers twitch. “Yes, a woman who allows her own daughter be abused.” 
“She... she couldn’t stop him--” 
“She should not bring the beast home with her,” he snips. “Please, you would not survive in such an environment.” 
“Why... would you come here?” 
He exhales and his eye bats, as if he can’t control it. “Why wouldn’t I after what I witnessed? Then you would not answer. I had half a suspicion you were dead.” 
“I’m sorry, I... didn’t mean to worry you but... it’s not your problem.” 
He hums and set the tray on the night stand. He offers a cup of coffee, “are you so used to being forgotten that you cannot accept kindness?” 
“No, it isn’t... I’m sorry.” 
“And the apologies. No need for it. I am not admonishing you. I am merely offering advice.” He takes your good hand and makes you take the cup. “There is much more you need to learn than accounting, I gather.” 
You frown and look at the dark coffee. 
“If you prefer milk or sugar, I grabbed some of each,” he explains and gestures to the tray. “Of course, you shouldn’t drink that in bed else you might stain the sheets.” 
“Oh, yeah,” you push the blankets back and move carefully. 
The pajamas brush against your stomach and you look down. You’re reminded of the day before. Naked in the tub. In front of him. You’ve never been so exposed before. You slump your shoulders and go to the table and sit. 
You look down at your burnt hand and bring up to examine the bandage again, “thank you...” you raise it higher. 
“Certainly. And who wouldn’t see to the festering infection? Are you not concerned that not even your own mother cared for that matter?” 
“Can we not talk about her?” You sniffle and rest your hand in your lap. “You should take me home.” 
“Home? That is no home. Now, you should eat. Keep your strength up so you can heal properly.” He girds. 
You nod and take a cautious sip of coffee. You’re still reeling, maybe even slightly delirious. You set the cup down again and lift your chin. You look at his neck, not his face. 
“Why?” You ask. 
“Why...” He echoes as he sits across from you. 
“Why help me?” 
He takes a packet of sanitizing wipes and uses them to clean the cutlery. You watch his diligent work. Everything he does is precise and purposeful. And cleanly. He seems to detest the thought of dirtiness and yet you can only feel like filth next to him. 
“Well, it should be a question, should it? It is humane. Decent. So, I shouldn’t need to name the reason for it.” He lays down each piece before he sets to claiming a muffin, then a scoop of the scrambled eggs, and strips of bacon with sausage too. “Though if you insist, I will give one. Firstly, let us underline that point. What you need, what you want, I would be more than willing to supply, but then, circle around to your query; why should I help you?” 
He takes the rest of the cutlery and wipes it then hands it to you. He makes you up a plate as he continues, “you, sweetheart, have great potential. I’ve seen it. And that would be spoiled all for a poor foundation. Now that is not your own doing, mind you, you cannot help where you come from, and more admirably,” he sets the plate before you, “you were fighting against it and so I only thought to lower the ladder for you.” 
You blink and focus on the food. You’re not very hungry. You feel slightly queasy but you would hate to be ungrateful. All these questions already make you feel so.  
“Thank you,” you croak and make yourself look at him. “Really...” 
You don’t know how to say it. You already feel pathetic and you don’t need to sink further. No one’s ever been that concerned about you. No one ever tried to help you. Most people just laughed, called you names, or pushed you down themselves. 
“Please, don’t trouble yourself very much, eh? I have the means to help. It would be selfish not to. A sort of passing the torch. I wasn’t born to wealth myself, or peace. Life can be a war on its own,” he gives a gentle smile beneath his thick beard. “Oh, and I did take some clothing from your home before our flight. I was able to use the hotel laundry. It should suffice, though I hardly trust their cleaning staff.” 
“Yes, sir,” you answer. 
“Raymond, please,” he corrects you. 
📓
Professor Smith, or Raymond as he insists, drives you across the city. He turns in the car at the rental place then leads you into the train station a block away. He’s patient, not hurrying you, and he pays for your ticket and his. You feel guilty for the expense. 
As you sit and wait on the platform, you fidget. You chew your lip and curl your fingers, the burn stinging beneath the bandages. 
“Are you well?” He checks in. He does every now and then. 
“Um, yes...” you look at the tracks, “I’ve never been on a train.” 
“A first, very exciting,” he muses. 
You nod and let your eyes wander. You’re nervous but too much to ask what makes you so. He moves so his leg is against yours. 
“Your hand?” He prompts. 
“It’s feeling better,” you assure.” 
“Very well.” He sits back and puffs out through his nose, “we will go to my home. You can recover there and when you feel up to it, we will go over your last assignment and see you through the course--” 
“Professor-- Raymond,” you sputter as you face him. “You don’t have to do all this.” 
“I am not a man who does things he doesn’t wish to,” he replies. “I’ve explained myself enough. It is unacceptable to me to let you return to where I found you. I couldn’t allow you in such an unsafe circumstance. Especially after what I witnessed.” 
“It-- he just yelled, that’s all.” You murmur. 
“Is that all? He had nothing to do with this?” He points to your hand. 
You shrink and shake your head. He clucks. 
“You are honest and so you are a poor liar. What I saw was more than yelling, sweetheart. You will not convince me otherwise. I know, this is a peculiar situation, but it is your way out,” he says, “tell me, you never thought of it.” 
Your lack of response is enough of one. Your eyes are hot, and your mouth is dry. Your leg jiggles restlessly. 
A lull rises as the chatter of others rolls through the platform. Soon, you hear the whine of metal on metal, and a bright beam shines from the tunnel. The train speeds through and grinds to a stop.  
You follow Raymond’s every move. When he stands, you stand. As he grabs his bag, you go to do the same but he has it in hand first. He gestures you ahead of him. You reluctantly approach the train. 
“The second from the front,” he instructs from behind. “I’ve our tickets.” 
You follow his direction. You’re good at that. As a professor, he’s just as good at giving orders. As you approach the waiting attendant, he reaches around to hand over the tickets. The woman in her uniform tears of the ends and hands them back. 
You step onto the small metal footstool and then climb the stairs of the train car. You pause as he puts your bags into the netted caddy near the front. He urges you on with another point and recites the seat numbers. You find them and stare at the row. 
“Would you like window or aisle?” He tucks away the tickets. 
“Mm, what do you like?” You ask. 
“Please, have the window. You did say it’s your first,” he insists. 
You duck your head and sit. He lowers himself next to you and slips a bottle from inside his jacket. He pops the cap open and offers it quietly. You glance over at the sanitizer. You don’t want to be rude so you put your unbandaged hand out. He dollops it into your palm, then his own, and puts it away. 
He rubs his palms together and you sanitize around your bandage and your uninjured hand. You sit back and look out at the platform. He’s a very stringent man but you might only think so because you’re used to no rules at all. He’s thorough too. He seems to think of everything.  
You look at him but think better of asking what you want to. He catches your glance before you can turn back. He shifts toward you, leaning on the outer armrest. 
“Go on,” he urges, “you can say whatever you need.” 
“Sorry, it’s nothing.” 
“Please,” he opens his hand encouragingly. 
You drop your eyes and wet your lips. You’re going to sound so dumb. “Do you really think I could... I could do something? Like you? Like... like... accounting?” 
He chuckles softly. It’s not mocking or mean. It’s soothing. 
“I do believe so,” he says. “You needn’t fret. Let yourself time to heal, then all that will come after.” 
You sniff and sit back. You don’t know if you agree with him, but you’ll try. That’s all you can do. It’s what you should do after he’s gone to all this effort. 
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cure-mango · 5 months
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Hi! Please stop making precure moms fight.
No.
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edwinisms · 2 months
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see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
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fridayiminlcve · 2 years
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if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything
#i looooove my city so much you guys like if i wasnt who i am (queer) rn i would be so fucking glad that i am in my current city but#i loooove art and history and fashion and stuff and this citymight be about second best for all that but its still soo crowded#people WILL judge no matter what you wear something cutesy and people dont shut up especially when ur 16 and tagging along with your mom to#the mall or something and everyone just stares and even among your classmates ive been complimented so many times#for my unique style or whatever (aka i have beaded shoelaces and wear lots of jewelery and absurd ass eyeliner) and theyre like oh#n******** is so fancy itni stylish bandi hai woh and its so attention grabbing but i dont want it to be a big deal !!!#i want to like 20 badges and wear insane makeup and dye my hair without calling much attention to myself!!!#of course i know that will change slowly as you go in to uni and meet ppl of your type instead of a bazaar market and youll pick ur own#friends who r like minded but considering this is india how many people can you truly find.#also my next two years are going to be spent in a college for jee and neet kids#you can wear what you want theres no dress code but you have to appear serious studious and simple if you want to be taken seriously#elle woods at harvard law type#i asked my mom to get an industrial & second lobe piercing and actual dyed hair and shes like turn twenty get into a good college then do#not bc she minds she allowed me to get my hair dyed at age 13 but to go in th college im going to there is SO SO much rigour#and if you dont show yourself as professional and shit they will keep you in lower effort self study classes instead of best of the best#i KNOW how difficult moving abroad is bc my family does not have that money i need to do it myself its so so expensive bc the money#itself has such a high value compared to here (you see americans cribbing abt 30$ hourly wage but here that is 2500inr)#2500 inr is as much as an expensive pair of jeans here. expensive clothes here r 30$ and in usa its 300$ . see the diffence#im changing topics so much but sometimes i do feel this place is suffocating#its a priviledge i have that i can even think about going abroad comapred to other indians but still#dp you get what i mean#and ik movies and all are very romanticised so it might not even be this way in western cities and just an idealisation but still#if things change around here then the entire question of going anywhere is out the window anyway#smalltown boy will byers moment#dni if you read all this and plan on replying unless ur a close mutual (close mutuals u know who u are)#also if someone says why would you want to go to usa uk paris when they colonised your country shut up <3 shut up very much <3
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im2tired4usernames · 6 months
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I hate that I literally just do not trust any of the older folks in my family to do right by anyone
#if i have learned anything from my grandparents parents uncles and aunts it's how not to treat children and spouses#i hope I'm a good wife to my wife and that i never put them through pain I've seen people put their partners through#i hope i never treat any children in my life like they do#i hope my possible children my nephews and nieces and my siblings always know they have a home with me#EVEN if I'm mad or disappointed in them#even if they scream how much they hate me i hope they know i love them I'll still feed them and make sure that's safe#i hope the people in my life never have to question of they're loved or safe with me i hope i can provide for them so they never have to go#with out something they need and then some to spoil them i want these people loved#i don't want my daughter to think because she talked back to me or is dating someone in not super found of that I'm goin to throw her away#i hope all the kids in my life always know I will try to take care of them as best i can no matter what#not trusting your elders to love you sucks ass not trusting your partner to love you through the scary bits of life sucks#i know so many men who just leave their spouses or cheat on them when they're wives get cancer#that's one thing I'm glad my dad did everything he could to try to let my mom know he loved hwr when she was here at least#i didn't understand or like some of the things he did but qt least he stayed with her and loved her then#unlike some people I'm regrettably related to#i hwar people at work talk about their spouses also one lady wants her husband to die#and it makes me sad i hope to God. my wife never has to question how much i love them i hope they feel loved and special forever#i hate how people treat the people they say they love the most i hope i am not like that i hope i never ever get like that
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super-psycho-lov3 · 7 months
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it doesnt even matter it doesnt even matter it doesnt ever matter it doesnt even
#im just really tired i guess#i have too many bruises and i cant keep eating a meal a day#its just really tiring getting lied to#people think they care but they really.. just dont?#say you care but im making dinner because you have work and oliver needs it more. as if i havent been making dinner all week.#as if i didnt spend the past two days walking 2-5 miles every day.#'youve been so snappy' as if i didnt clean the whole living room. as if it isnt my fucking bed time. as if you care about my problems.#'olivers here if you need anything' yeah. sure. as if he wont groan and huff at best.#'im sorry i have to go to work' as if youd do anything different#'im not as bad as people make me out to be' 'youre being brainwashed' as if i didnt have to spend all day at my friends house#the day i was persrcibed testosterone because i knew what youd do if i stayed at home#as if you didnt threaten to take it away when i didnt listen to you#just... im jusy so tired. once my mom asked me 'whose birthday did i forget this year?' referring to my siblings.#she was buying gifts. we never celebrated my birthday. didnt have the heart to tell her it was ME. im justs o tired. im so tired#it really sucks to know that — that our sect of the sys is back out because#because we feel. so. Lost. worthless and lost a and alone#doesn't feel like our family is anything at all. and im here because#because of that. i hate that. i hate knowing why i hate it#i hate knowing who and what caused this im so tired i want my brothers i want my sister i want to get out of here for a while i just need to#get out#its so stupid im the oldest sibling but i want my siblings so bad they would never let me down#fucking NEVER! never. not in a way that could ever really matter. just. god#vent post#free to respond#???#i dont fuckin care if you reblog or reply or whatever. im just so tired i just need to yell you guys can say whatever#i got yelled at for reminding them to schedule my fucking root canal anf i just cant take it . so#im. im so hungry okay? im just so hungry#im hungry and tired and sore and so fucking alone and i cant fucking take it#cant eat right now n even if i could i wouldnt have the food so
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bat-the-misfit · 1 year
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"disappointment" is when you show a drawing of the main male character of the book you're writing to your mother and she says he's "kinda ugly" as if he had the responsability of being handsome for being the Main Male Character (tm)
#mom it's Tadeu we're talking about#after everything i told you about Tadeu do you really think he'd be Tipically Handsome (tm)?#also this is weird bc some people might actually think he's attractive bc beauty is relative#i personally don't imagine him as a dude i'd simp for#even then what if my book gets a series (lol) and the actor who plays him is handsome while still being perfect for he role??? what if???#actually if you look at his board on my pinterest you will see the dudes i put there that remind me of him#are actually very cute in my view and they still look like Tadeu even if Tadeu's not “that cute” for me#so who knows dude??? what even is beauty??? why do people need to be “beautiful”????#i think my mom forgot who's her child lmao#i LOVE taking everything that society made typical and popular and putting my own twist on it#and funnily she knows about this#like come on it's a book about time travel and no one time travels on it lol#the main character is a girl that has a boy best friend and they don't fall in love with each other#the old lady who serves as a mentor in a literary sense is actually an angry bitch and not your typical Wise Mentor (tm) like Gandalf#while other books' mentors are saying philosofical shit about life the mentor of my book is holding herself to punch the charas on the face#but really why do people need to be beautiful? can't we just BE people???#also just bc i like men that doesn't mean all my male characters are supposed to be attractive to me#to me my characters are my children not my boyfriends#UUUUUGH MOM WHY MOM#I'M SO ANGRY LOL RESPECT MY SON TADEU HE DESERVES THE WORLD#LEAVE HIM AND HIS UGLY HAIRSTYLE IN PEACE#tio morcego tá pistola
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scionshtola · 8 months
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i started writing a whole thing about mir and her mom and then i realized i accidentally gave the briadis family the perfect set up for a tragic family empire tv show
#her mom is a powerful merchant who wants to pass the business on to her kids#her oldest brother is being groomed for the job but he’s better at and prefers life as a ship captain#no matter how hard they try to bring him home!#her oldest sister wants the job TOO MUCH and tries to hard but it’s not good at it#and their mom kind of disdains her for it. lol#elaine is smart enough and good enough with people to do it but she’s too soft#and wants to burn the whole thing down bc they sold mir to the order and stopped her sending letters to her#mir’s younger siblings are enjoying traveling as part of a ships crew while they work their way up but i don’t think their mom#has high hopes for them.#ironically given mir’s personality she might have been good at it if she’d been trained!!#and their mom knows this and knew it before she sold mir to the order but she was never going to let a magianis have control of it#which brings me back to the thing that started this: mir’s mom genuinely thought it was best to sell her to the order bc she couldn’t#protect mir from the consequences of being magianis and thought being trained by the order was the best way to keep her safe#and that if they paid for her they would think of her as an investment (merchant brain logic that was also just her pacifiying herself into#thinking it was right. did she actually believe this?? would it have mattered?? well. who can say!)#they do all have names i just can’t off the top of my head remember ahdhdjsk#oc: mirren sero#i need a text post tag#when was the last time i wrote a wall of tags about her…i miss her#i should add. her mom thought it would keep mir safe but also it was a convenient way to get her out of the way. so
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goldensunset · 2 years
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Guess who wasn’t awake when they read their notif about the Anastasia Xehanort theory and bluescreened for a minute. xD
lollll
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troublcmakcrs · 1 year
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//if i had a sp multi, it would consist entirely of characters nobody gives a shit about, like ned, thomas (le petit tourette), and GOD HIMSELF.
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icharchivist · 2 years
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wait the gbf fest starts in a little over 24 hours 💀 sorry i’ll be back on being a gbf blog on main again
the 21st stream is supposed to have Atsushi Tamaru to its cast though so i will still be unbearable. 
#< fan of Tor before people even knew he existed just because i recognized Tamaru and crIED on the spot when he first appeared#it still kills me bc i recognized him at his voice ways before they did his seiyuu intro on twitter#and i was just *POINTING* YOU. I LISTEN TO YOUR SONGS ALL THE TIME. YOU THINK I WOULDNT RECOGNIZE YOU????#it was right after The Contract came out too so i was genuinely obsessed with his voice#and suddenly i was just. What. Tamaru in my GBF?????#i spent months harrassing my friends like 'nooo Tor will appear in the event stories and you'll see he's the best'#i had a friend who kept calling him shady and i was just yeah but consider: i love him (totally biased because of VA)#anyway the fact he will be at the fest means a lot to me#me pointing at the screen like a proud mom: look at him!!!! he voices my angel Tsumu isn't he amazing!!!!#and oghhhhhh i can show up the seiyuu cosplayed as Lucifer to people so he can mark point i want everyone to care#anyway i've been looking forward the stream of the 21st bc of Tamaru so :skull:#back in being unbearable about gbf but with a side of unhinged a3seiyuu behavior from me#so like when the moletroupe event was live huh#but also i'm in Fear since the stream starts at night#i need to know when the seiyuu segment is for me DLKJFDKLFJ#and really do a few admin stuff i have to do tomorrow so i don't worry about it on the 21st#*gets my life together for Atsushi Tamaru*#ichatalks about gbf#ALSO CAN EGUTAKU COME BACK TO THE GBF STREAMS I MISS HIM#Shirai and Tamaru join the streams and EguTaku leaves??? what sort of bullshit is that!!!#i want to see them all together damnit :(((( though Shirai isn't even there this time around this is unfair.
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thesmokinpossum · 1 year
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while i'm complaining  about men, I just got told in a slightly passive-aggressive tone by a man i've known for less than 5 months that "clearly, validating people's feelings is not my strongest suit" because I told him as kindly as I could that while he can call me when he's having panic attack, there's no real guarantee that i'm gonna be available and even less guarantee that i'm gonna be able to comfort him in whatever way in need, especially if he need any type of physical comfort and I'm just sitting there like...You know what my dude, if that's gonna make you get over your annoying ass desire to hug me then feel free to assume that i'm actually even meaner than that, imagine me as the world biggest bitch all you want, i'm fine with it
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mieczyhale · 2 years
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post: steve shaves his head
me: ..okay.. i guess i get it..
post: and then eddie shaves his head
me, anxious and nauseous: NO THE FUCK HE DOES NOT
#not in solidarity not ever#his hair is important#it's one of the ways he took and keeps control of his own appearance#it's one of the ways he says 'fuck you' to societal rules and expectations#it's important for headbanging#(you can headbang without the hair but it's not the same i promise)#and i love it and need people to stop trying to make eddie into a Regular Dude#i know that post in particular was supposed to be a 'he did it in solidarity with steve' thing but they also phrased it#as them both getting 'a fresh start' at life and shedding reputations or whatever and i hate it#steve wanting to be known for more than his hair is even kinda dumb. to shave it to 'take control from his parents' or whatever#s1 hair was his parents control. his hair after that is all him and he cares about it. likes caring about it. helps dustin with#his own hair. its not a negative thing for steve.#steve is a bisexual who babysits kids that call him mom his best friend is a lesbian and he fights monsters - there's a lot of ways you can#go about giving him freedom and power from/over his parents that doesnt include removing a feature he likes about himself#as for eddie - his whole thing is him not giving a fuck what people think. or at least trying to not give a fuck#its obviously a lot harder when people have decided you're a murderer (with zero proof and based 100% on their idea of you) but#even then - as dustin points out - he never stopped being eddie. no matter the threat against him he never changes anything about himself#to appease others or appeal to others. so why - after all of that - would he be up for a change??? and into something more normal-looking??#nobody gets to dictate anything about him - hasnt since he got away from whoever made him shave his head as a kid - and#they both have fucked up reputations - some of it true and some of it not - but why would they give a fuck?? after EVERYTHING??#steve has grown past stupid high school bullshit like 'popularity' so why would a stupid high school reputation that hasnt been accurate#for years matter to him?? everyone who matters knows him better than that#same goes for eddie#so like... idk man. i know im weirdly attached to certain things about certain characters and yeah it's 'just hair' but like..#when your hair isnt yours to control and then it finally is?? that's a big deal. that's important#and i know i wouldnt give it up for shit.#and maybe shaving their heads could be their decision but i really truly dont fucking think it would be#even just hair cuts feel like No. nope. no thank u. put that hair back where u found it and keep it there#mystposts
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"being autistic is about being bad at reading social cues" "being autistic is about stimming & sensory overload" NO.
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this is autism.
#its not even about like. the fact that theyre the imperial royal family. its completely separate from that#its about how utterly dysfunctional that entire family was. i need more lore about them. i need to know.#I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE WOMEN ARE.#where are the galvus women. you cant say theyre all dead thats ridiculous and i wont believe you#personally i think emet-selch's ex-wife is living her best life. that is a lie but the concept of this 90-something year old lady being#in the game. is fun#'oh solus?? yeah he was a dick. sorry. i went on holiday and then he was gone and i never went back'#emet-selch discourse this emet-selch discourse that i want a little garlean great-grandma in law on my island#shes dead but wouldnt it be FUNNY.#shes an ex-reaper who got sick of solus disrespecting her reaper arts with the magitek & faked her death#its 12 am and i have had headaches all day do not mind me i am RAMBLING#my coping mechanism is hyperfixating on dysfunctional fictional families because every time my mom is being a bitch#i can just think about this dumpsterfire of a collection of blood-related people and be instantly comforted#like yeah my stepdad's a dick but at least my grandfather isnt an ascian so whos REALLY having a bad time huh? im doing greatt#im begging you to like. look at varis's story that man is a walking stack of tragedies it feels like im looking at my 13 year old selfs ocs#just aged up like 30 years#motherfucker lost his father and his wife his grandfather hated him and didnt even try to hide it his son is. a walking natural disaster#imagine dying to patricide not because ur child hated you or whatever but just because u were in their way#and THEN your body and memory get used to create one of the creatures you always wanted to bring an end to#this isnt apologism i am laughing at his misery#oh and also his childhood friend dies in service to him so theres that#'i would gladly die for his radiance' reggie bud thats really nice but that man is actively losing his mind & i dont think that would help#it feels like im watching my dog's chew toy.#i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out what kinda bond varis & zenos had but im guessing uhhh none#but even still the whole elidibus zenos arc. also not something i think he was very happy with#i have held that rant in for weeks but fuck it. there you go. i like varis. he amused me.
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rotturn · 2 years
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#negative cw#i am feeling. very not good#every day we go to restaurants where there's nothing on the menu i can eat bc all ive been able to manage lately is soup#or sometimes mash potato and gravy but like. its gotta be a Good day and i have not had good days in a While#so i just sit and have nothing while they eat then down an entire block of white chocolate as soon as we get home bc its my comfort food#and like. i dont mind not eating at a restaurant or whatever im cool to chill and chat while someone eats it doesnt bother me#its just when theyre doing it every day and getting annoyed when I say i dont want anything as if they don't already know#mixed w the fact that my sister has been constantly unbearable its just been Rough#esp since we share a room#and we've been having issues w our accommodation in new york but i think hopefully it'll be sorted#im just exhausted and stressed all the time and there's no end in sight#and this trip has just made me aware of how much i do not feel loved by the people who should make me feel loved#like i love my mom and she does her best and she does make me feel better but sometimes shes a part of the problem#and i have support at home my roommates are so good for me but. theyre not here#and i feel shit every time i tell my roommate how i feel bc this is a once in a lifetime trip that she may never have a chance to take#and it makes me feel so guilty and selfish to not enjoy this but its so hard to enjoy#that one week where we were on the boat and i could have multiple soups a day was the only time i was happy#and its because i wasnt constantly starving and we didnt have stress about luggage or where we're staying#but ever since its just been constant stress and anxiety and hunger#and like. theres nothing i can really do ab any of it bc seeking out something i need means they dont get to do something they want#and i cant take what my sister wants away from her bc she'll throw a fit#mum says the usa will be ab me more but i know it wont be. i know exactly how it'll work#i will not have a chance to rest and be happy until im home and even then i have to find a job as soon as im back#bc i have bills and rent and i only budgetted enough for a month after i get back and that's with barely any groceries#and i get the feeling my roommates mad at me or upset ab something but i don't know how to approach it bc im on the other side of the world#and idk i feel like its me i feel like i did something wront#im just tired and sad and hungry all the time#but that's just. kinda my life innit#i just wish. people weren't upset with me all the time. i try so hard not to upset people but nothing i do ever seems good enough#i just want to be good enough. but i know im not.
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