#i need to put him in the microwave i need to put him in a jar and shake him

[enchantedbarnes]

Birdie's in her element. Crushing elections, rolling in job offers, sticking it to her dad, AND taking out the trash (good riddance max!!!! 🤸‍♀️💃)

“But I don’t think their relationship will last.”

That made you look up from your screen, your stomach doing a flip. “Wait what? Why not?”

Sarah shot you a smug smile, then shrugged her shoulders and walked away from you, making you shake your head.

Not Sarah stirring the pot. I love it 🤭

“Sorry for the interruption but it looked like he would kiss you, and the press is here.”

Let himmm 😈

“Yeah, back when I didn’t think he’d win!”

Oh no he didn't.

“I’m asking you to choose between me and him,” he corrected you, pointing at the bar. “It’s not like New York has a lack of politicians. You can easily work for someone here.”

What an absolute idiot 😂😂😂😂 Thank you so much Max for putting us all out of our misery! BYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“And for the record, Max,” you said. “I don’t care what your tech bro idol says. Five minutes is not enough for the microwave to finish, let alone a woman, you selfish, spineless piece of shit.”

Shots fired! Get him Birdie 😈 the crew is going to love this 😂🤭

“Thank you,” he muttered. “I uh…I needed to hear it from you, not anyone else.”

“I missed you, you know?” His voice was soft, like he feared that if he said it any louder it would break the spell you had been under for the whole night.

These soft moments 🥹🥲 and not him keeping track of how many drinks 😏

Bucky rolled his eyes. “What kind of a shitty boyfriend—”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“I dumped him.”

For the first time you’d met him, he was at a loss for words: “…Why?”

How much time do you have??????? And how detailed would you like the answers?

Hazel walked outside, her eyes narrowing the moment she saw that you were there with Bucky.

Ugh you again.

My face every time Hazel says something.

“Who’s—who’s taking you home?”

Could've been youuuuu, but noooooo. 🙄😒

“Thank you,” you said and nodded at Bucky. “And congratulations, Mr. Barnes.”

With that, you walked past him to make your way into the bar, then approached Kelsey and Caleb.

I hope that "Mr. Barnes" sizzles in his brain like a hot fajita plate.

“Oh yeah,” you said. “Let’s get me blackout drunk.”

🍻🥂🍻🥂🍻🥂🍻

Declassified [6] - Election Day

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves, you are so amazing🩷 I hope you like this chapter as well! 🥰 And please let me know what you think! 🩷

Pairing: Congressman!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary: A hug can mean many things.

Warnings: Explicit language, drinking, angst, yearning.

Word Count: 5252

Series Masterlist

The election day.

You were so on edge that when you got to work, you could barely hear the chaos with blood rushing in your ears. The whole team was busy, some making phone calls, some rushing through the office with papers in hand, and some talking to each other. You knew Sam was already there for moral support, probably in Bucky’s office, and apparently Sarah had brought AJ and Cass so that they could all be there for Bucky. You waved at them, then made your way to your desk to put your purse on it, Caleb coming closer the minute you did.

“I talked to the bar,” he said. “They’ll close it down for us.”

You took a deep breath and sat down. “Okay.”

“We’re gonna celebrate and I’ll try every single cocktail there.”

“I hope so.”

“Don’t look so tense.” He reached out to squeeze your hand. “He’s gonna nail it.”

You looked around. “He’s in his office?”

“Mm hm. With Sam and Sarah.” He eyed you up and down. “You could go in and wish him luck, you know? I get why you’ve been avoiding him for two months, but today is kind of special.” 

You blinked a couple of times, then cleared your throat.

“How’s the voter turnout looking?”

“Pretty good so far— are you seriously not going to go and say hi?”

“I have like one thousand things to do,” you murmured and switched your laptop on. “It’s the election day.”

“Oh is it?” Caleb asked with a grin. “I was wondering why everyone was so on edge, must be why.”

You let out a laugh as he walked away and you texted Kelsey who was probably with Bucky in his office, then lifted your head when AJ and Cass ran to your desk.

“Hey there.” You smiled at them. “What’s up?”

“Are you very busy?”

You looked at the hundreds of notifications on your laptop and your phone, then shook your head.

“Nope,” you lied. “And either way, I can always make the time for the most awesome kids in the world. How can I help you guys?”

“We have a couple of questions,” AJ said and you hummed.

“Well then it’s your lucky day, because I’m so good at answering questions,” you told them. “Ask away.”

“When will we know the results?”

“After the polls close and they count the votes, so around the evening.”

“How many votes do we need?”

“Mm, that’s a bit tricky,” you said. “We obviously need more than the opponent, but I’m aiming for 170,000.”

AJ’s eyes widened. “Do you know that many people?”

“Nope,” you said. “But more than that many people know Bucky.”

Cass shifted his weight as if he was trying to decide whether to ask another question but then he took a deep breath like he was gathering his courage, making you bite back a smile.

“Yes, Cass?”

“Will Uncle Bucky be president one day?”

“Whoa, that’s such a smart question,” you said and a proud smile lit up his face. “That’s a good one, let me think…The biggest factor is whether he wants to or not. Did you ask him?”

He shook his head. “We haven’t yet.”

“You think he’d make a good president?”

“Yeah, he’s awesome!” Cass said. “If he wants to be president, will you make that happen?”

“Me?”

“He always says you’re the best at everything.”

You could feel the warmth in your chest. “Does he?”

“Yeah, mom asked him about you the other day, and he said you—”

“Boys!” Sarah called out, making them turn to her as she approached your desk. “Let her work, she’s very busy.”

“Multitasking is my middle name,” you told her with a grin while AJ and Cass walked away from you and Sarah leaned back to your desk.

“How do you feel?”

“Tense,” you said and nodded in the direction of Bucky’s office. “How’s he doing?”

“He can’t stop pacing,” she said. “Kelsey had to repeat herself like three times just now, so I’m sure he’d appreciate it if you went in for some encouragement.”

You averted your eyes, shaking your head.

“I’d love to, but I’m swamped with work,” you said, clicking on your emails and Sarah hummed.

“You’ve been avoiding him for two months now.”

“I don’t know why everybody keeps saying that, I’m not avoiding him. I work for the guy.”

“Right. So this whole thing has nothing to do with the fact that he got himself a girlfriend two months ago?”

Your head shot up, your eyes widening and you opened your mouth, then closed it, frantically searching for the right words.

“Wha—he—” you stammered. “Why would that be relevant? That’s not relevant, I almost forgot he has a girlfriend—what? What makes you think it’s relevant?”

Very smooth.

Sarah gave you a look. “Come on.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Sarah.”

“It’s just a funny coincidence that you decided to put this distance between you two months ago, considering you two were basically inseparable before Hazel entered the picture.”

“I’ve just been busy with work and my own relationship,” you managed to say. “I don’t care about his relationship, he seems happy enough.”

“Hazel is nice,” Sarah admitted and you snorted.

“She’s also gorgeous, a billionaire and has a successful business,” you murmured, quickly typing your response to the next email. “But who’s keeping count?”

“But I don’t think their relationship will last.”

That made you look up from your screen, your stomach doing a flip. “Wait what? Why not?”

Sarah shot you a smug smile, then shrugged her shoulders and walked away from you, making you shake your head.

“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “Election day. Keep your head in the game, do not get distracted.”

                                                                        *

After the polls were closed, everyone went to the bar to watch the results. There was no reason to stay in the office anymore; you were either going to move it to the DC or find yourselves new jobs, and either way, staying in the office was not going to change whatever the outcome was.

After you had done everything in the office until the afternoon, you and Caleb had gone to a polling station to make sure everything was going well. When it was closed, Caleb had gone straight to the bar while you returned to the office to grab your coat but as soon as you stepped inside, you pulled your brows together.

Bucky’s office light was on.

Ah.

 Your phone buzzed in your hand and you checked the texts, smiling to yourself before making your way to his office. Your heart was beating in your ears as you knocked on the door and opened it to find him half sprawled on his desk, resting his head on his crossed arms.

His voice came out muffled when he spoke: “Nice perfume.”

“Nice crippling self-doubt,” you replied as you leaned sideways to the doorframe, and he scoffed.

“I’m not having doubts, I’m resting my eyes.”

“On the election night?”

That made him lift his head, making your cheeks feel warm at the sight of his handsome face. It was almost strange, how two months of you avoiding him had done nothing to the magnetic pull you felt whenever you were around him, but you tried to focus.

“Bucky…”

“Don’t tell me any numbers. Don’t.”

“Okay,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and stepped into the office. “They’re still counting anyway. And everyone is at the bar already, come on.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “Was this a mistake?”

“Nope!” You snapped your fingers. “Get up sergeant, we’re leaving.”

“Birdie—”

“Get up.”

“Have I ever told you how bossy you are?”

“I grew up in a stressful home, my options were limited.”

“What if—”

“Get up, I said we’re leaving,” you said and he heaved a sigh, then got up from his seat and followed you out of the office. It was a warm pleasant evening, and you took a deep breath, then started walking with him beside you.

For a couple of minutes, it was completely silent as if he was too lost in his own thoughts before he cleared his throat.

“Talk to me about something else,” he said. “Please. Or else I’ll lose my mind.”

You pressed your lips together and stole a look at him.

“How’s it going with your girlfriend?”

“She’s nice,” he muttered. “And with your boyfriend?”

“It’s okay,” you said. “He’s at the bar already.”

“So is she.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see a couple of familiar faces –journalists— making their way into the bar, making your stomach do a flip.

Bucky may have asked you not to check the results, but that right there was a very, very good sign.

“So 40s dating etiquette isn’t that different than ours?” you asked, trying to distract him and his eyes widened.

“It’s very different,” he said. “Are you kidding? It’s insane nowadays.”

“Do you want me to prepare a handbook for you?” you asked. “A report—hey, I can prepare a Powerpoint?”

That made him let out a chuckle and he came to a stop in front of the bar window, then turned to look at you.

“Birdie,” he said. “Listen, whatever happens…”

“You’ll have to give a speech to the whole team no matter the result,” you reminded him and he shook his head.

“Not this speech,” he said, “I know things have been weird for the last two months, but I—”

The uproar from the bar cut him off and your eyes snapped over his shoulder to find the TV inside, a gasp leaving your lips.

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed and grabbed his wrist to pull him into the bar, the cheers only getting louder the minute you stepped inside. His name was above his opponent’s, the graph showing how many votes they each got and—

Announcing him as the winner.

You turned to him to find him staring at the screen like he couldn’t believe it. A laugh escaped you as his gaze found yours, then he turned his hand so that he could hold your wrist before yanking you to himself to swoop you into his arms, hugging you tight. Your heart was doing flips in your chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and let out a squeal when he lifted you off the ground, making you giggle. His hand cradled the back of your head and he buried his face into your hair, took a deep breath, pressed a kiss to your temple, then he put you down.

You were dizzy.

And breathless.

And—

You felt someone grab your arm before Kelsey pulled you into a hug, Caleb soon joining you to turn it into a group hug.

“I told you, we nailed it!” he exclaimed when he pulled back and Kelsey let out a laugh.

“Oh yeah!”

“We did!” you said and Kelsey licked her lips, then leaned in so that you could hear her through the cheers.

“Sorry for the interruption but it looked like he would kiss you, and the press is here.”

“And your boyfriend, and his girlfriend,” Caleb added and you held your breath.

Max was here.

Right.

You looked over your shoulder to find him by the bar, watching you with a slight frown on his face. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Sam hugging Bucky and slapping him on the back, AJ and Cass running around, Sarah smiling at something Sam was saying to Bucky, and multiple people already talking to the press while you made your way to Max and pecked him on the lips.

 “Hey!” you said, smiling brightly at him. “Can you believe this?”

“Yeah.” His eyes darted from you to Bucky, then to you again. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you!” you said while Sarah waved at you, and you waved at her back. “Um, did I make you wait long?”

“Not much,” he said. “Why did you come with him?”

“With Bucky?” you asked. “He was in the office and I had to go get my coat—”

“Birdie!” Caleb called out. “Team photo, come on!”

“Right,” you said. “Max, I need to be in that photo and talk to the press, you know how it goes. Are you okay though?”

“Sure,” he said after a pause. “But can we talk sometime?”

“Absolutely,” you said, already walking away from him to the team. “Drink and have fun, I’ll be back!”

                                                    *

This was why you were in politics.

Tonight was going amazing.

“Yeah, I don’t have the exact voter demographic right now,” you told Gemma, who was a brilliant journalist, while she held her phone close to you so that she could record you. “As you can see, we’re a bit—”

You were cut off when a wave of applause burst through the bar and you turned your head to see Caleb climbing on the bar counter, Kelsey letting out a whistle.

“Alright, alright,” Caleb said and pointed at Bucky with his beer bottle who raised his in turn with a grin. “Bucky made a speech, Paul made a speech, so I’m guessing we can as well.”

“Do it!”

“Take your shirt off and do it!”

“I’m saving that for when I’m more drunk—so let me start by saying,” he said, “there are a lot of journalists here, so I’m going on a record to say that we fucking nailed it!”

The whole bar cheered, laughter echoing in the room.

“It has been very, very challenging,” Caleb said. “I think I’m high on adrenaline but hey, I’m glad Brooklyn made the right choice!”

Cheers got even louder, making Caleb’s grin wider.

“I’m also glad that no one in this room will ever worry about being unemployed ever again!” he said, holding up his phone. “I got five job offers and counting, so Paul, if you feel like giving me a raise…”

All of a sudden, the whole team started shouting numbers.

“I got seven, you amateur!”

“Five!”

“Six!”

“Four and counting!”

“Eight and counting!”

“How many did you get?” Gemma asked, making you turn your attention to her as Caleb climbed down the counter only for another member of the team to climb there.

“Ten and—” you started, then checked your phone. “Oh, sorry. Eleven and counting.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Thank you!”

“And my last question, multiple political sources call you guys Barnes’ Dream Team,” she said. “Job offers only prove that you guys played a huge part in this, so my question is, how did the team approach the strategy? Did you have an exact picture in mind from the beginning, or did you have to adapt a lot?”

“Oh, a combination of both,” you said. “We all got hired at different points during the campaign, but we were lucky to have the type of dynamic that was open to having ideas that feed into each other.”

“Such as using different mediums to reach people?” she asked. “Because at a certain point, you guys were everywhere. Do you think it played a significant part in this outcome?”

“Definitely,” you said. “It was the very first thing we came up with, there would be no corner of Brooklyn that hasn’t heard from us in one way or another. TV, radio, podcasts, social media, town hall meetings—we wanted them to hear us, then decide whether they wanted to vote for him or not. The priority wasn’t the votes; it was to make sure they heard what Bucky would bring to the politics rather than things he was made to do in the past. We’re lucky he doesn’t get tired because I doubt any other candidate would be able to handle the type of schedule we put in front of him.”

“Is he easy to work with, then?”

“He’s amazing to work with,” you said with a bright smile. “The team is only as good as the boss, and vice versa. Every single person in this room is genuinely happy for him, besides the job offers and everything.”

She licked her lips, her eyes finding Bucky before snapping back to you.

“We just saw a very uh…enthusiastic hug there,” she said. “Would you say you are close?”

Ah.

Anxiety made your stomach turn but you managed to keep the smile on your face.

“We all ended up as a very tight-knit team,” you said without a pause. “We spent almost every minute together, so we’re very close with everyone in the team. My boyfriend was just talking about how our list for Christmas presents doubled up because I got another family at work.”

Gemma smiled and she stopped recording, lowering her phone. “In other words, you’re too smart to fall into that trap.”

“I’ve got some experience in media training.”

She hissed in a breath.

“The guy is handsome enough to make anyone and everyone become interested in politics,” she said. “And even more people will be watching him now. Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

You held up your hands.

“Work is work, no hard feelings Gemma,” you told her as your phone started buzzing and you checked the screen, pursing your lips. “I need to get this, sorry.”

You stepped out of the bar, then went into the small alley, cleared your throat and answered the phone.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi pumpkin,” he said. “Congratulations on your victory.”

“Thanks.”

“How’s your boy doing?”

“He’s very happy.”

“He should be,” he said. “Wasn’t a landslide, but wasn’t very close either.”

“Yeah, when the counting first started, I wasn’t so sure,” you admitted. “But apparently we swayed a significant number of people, even in the neighborhoods I was doubtful about.”

“And how many job offers so far?”

“Dad…”

“Pumpkin, you and the rest of his team just entered every politician’s radar,” he said. “They have a point in calling you his dream team, you managed to make the voters love a former brainwashed assassin enough to put him in the congress.”

“Please don’t call him that,” you told him. “He deserves much better.”

“How many?”

You rolled your eyes. “Eleven and counting.”

“Good,” he said and heaved a sigh. “Well I gotta go, Senator Williams has been calling for the third time tonight. See you in DC.”

You shook your head slightly when he hung up and you turned around, a gasp leaving your lips as soon as you did.

“Max!” you said, putting a hand over your chest. “Jesus, you scared me. What is it?”

He eyed you up and down. “Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure?” you said, frowning. “What’s going on?”

“What was that?” he asked, pointing back at the bar with his thumb over his shoulder and you swallowed thickly, but managed to keep your expression calm.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he said. “That hug?”

“What, I can’t hug people now?” Your voice came out way too defensive and Max let out a dry laugh, then shook his head.

“Jesus.”

“He won, we’re all excited—”

“Yeah, he won,” Max cut you off. “So? What does that mean for us?”

You blinked a couple of times. “What do you mean?”

“He’ll be in DC. And you?”

“Max, we talked about this when I first started this job,” you reminded him. “We said—”

“Yeah, back when I didn’t think he’d win!” he snapped, making you pull back slightly, a frown pulling your brows together when the realization crashed down on you like a ton of bricks. “Back when this whole thing was hypothetical.”

Wait.

Wait, Max wouldn’t—

“…Who did you vote for?” you asked, making him roll his eyes.

“How is that relevant?”

“It’s incredibly relevant,” you growled. “Answer the question.”

“What does it matter?”

You covered your mouth, taking a step back. “You voted for the opposition?!”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? And hypothetically, if I did, maybe it was because I didn’t want my girlfriend to move to a different city, have you ever thought about that?”

You could barely hear what he was saying, anger making your ears ring as you dropped your hands.

“This will not work if you move to a different city with him,” he said, motioning between you. “Just warning you.”

A snort escaped you before it turned into a full laugh, making you clutch at your stomach in an attempt to stop your laughter and you lifted your head again, wiping at your eyes to keep a straight face.

“You…” you trailed off, trying to control the feral grin curling your lips. “So wait, not only did you vote for the opposition, now you’re asking me to choose between my career and you?”

“I’m asking you to choose between me and him,” he corrected you, pointing at the bar. “It’s not like New York has a lack of politicians. You can easily work for someone here.”

You dragged your tongue over your teeth. “Uh huh. And you’re saying this based on your extensive knowledge in politics?”

“I don’t have to know shit about politics for this conversation,” he said. “You can either be with me, or move to DC. You can’t have both.”

Another huff of laughter climbed your throat and you ran a hand over your face.

“You seriously think you’re giving me an ultimatum right now?” you asked. “Oh my God, the audacity.”

“If that’s what you wanna call it.”

“You can’t give me an ultimatum when this relationship is already over, motherfucker,” you said, your voice rising with each word. “I’m breaking up with you, not the other way around!”

He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.  “Great, very mature—”

“No no,” you said, shaking your head. “I was going to dump you for the voting thing alone, and you pull that shit? Career vs the man? What the fuck do you think this is, 1950s?”

“So you’re choosing to end this relationship then?”

“Max.” You tilted your head. “I’m asking because I don’t understand. Did you honestly, genuinely think I would ever choose you over my career? Are you joking?”

“As I said, not your career. Your boss.”

You didn’t even hesitate: “I wouldn’t choose you over him with a gun pointed at my head.”

Max scoffed a bitter laugh before he licked his lips.

“I knew it,” he spat. “You’re fucking him.”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”  

“Such a cliché,” he said as you pulled back, glaring at him. “Politician and the younger female aide. Does he know you’re a power-hungry slut yet?”

“Careful there.”

“Or does he think you’re just naïve as fuck?”

“I’m not fucking him,” you said, your voice eerily calm. “But it doesn’t mean I won’t ask him to rip your tongue out if you keep insulting me. Because trust me, things didn’t end well for the last guy and the body part he used to make me feel bad.”

That made him fall silent and you took a deep breath, stealing a glance at the bar before turning to him.

“And for the record, Max,” you said. “I don’t care what your tech bro idol says. Five minutes is not enough for the microwave to finish, let alone a woman, you selfish, spineless piece of shit.”

With that, you made your way back into the bar without so much as a glance back, your heart still beating in your ears.

                                               *

This was not the time to announce your break up to anyone, tonight belonged to Bucky and his win.

To be completely honest, you were feeling much better than you thought you would. Before this, you had assumed breaking up with Max would’ve made you feel sad or at least anxious, but you honestly couldn’t feel anything other than relief right now.

Relief and excitement about your future.

The press had left but the whole team was ready to party until the morning. Kelsey had already arranged you a table at a very fancy club, saying that her ex friend with benefits was a bartender there, so everyone was slowly finishing their final round at the bar. You had stepped outside to take yet another call for a job offer, pacing in the sidewalk while keeping your eyes on the street.

“I am honored ma’am,” you said. “I loved your work on the clean energy bill you pushed for last month.”

“Even if it didn’t pass?” she joked and you let out a laugh.

“Can’t win them all.”

“Exactly,” she said. “Anyway, I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, you’ve done great with Barnes, and my team would love to have you in my campaign for the next term.”

“I appreciate it,” you said. “I would have to check in with Mr. Barnes about his plans for the next term as you know.”

“Of course,” she said. “But if he’s not running, or if you’re looking for a change, my team is open.”

“Thank you so much ma’am,” you said. “And if it’s alright with you, I’d love to talk to you about our stance on clean energy once we’re in DC, we have a lot of common ground so I think working together could raise the chances to pass it the next time.”

“That’s great,” she said. “I’ll tell my chief of staff to contact you the minute you arrive. Welcome to the A League.”

“Thank you ma’am,” you said and hung up, then lowered the phone to check your emails but your head whipped around when you heard a familiar voice.

“Planning on leaving me so soon?”

You rolled your eyes at Bucky before giving him a mischievous smile.

“Nope, I’m just gonna use all these job offers to ask for a raise,” you said airily as if your heart wasn’t pacing in your chest. “Hello Congressman Barnes.”

He smiled back. “Hi Birdie.”

“How do you feel?”

“Honestly?” he asked. “I think I’m still in shock.”

“I told you we would win.”

His gaze on you was soft again, making your cheeks burn.

“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “Yeah you did.”

“I mean honestly at this point, everyone should listen to me all the time—”

“Thank you,” he cut you off and your grin widened.

“Hey, all I did was basically not sleep for months, work around 100 hours a week, make the public like you in multiple ways, and put you in the Congress,” you said, waving a dismissive hand in the air. “Would do it for anyone, don’t flatter yourself.”

A huff of laughter escaped him and he hummed. “Of course.”

“But seriously,” you told him. “I know this is not the first time you hear this tonight, but you do deserve it, Bucky.”

That made him pause for a moment, letting out a breath as if a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you,” he muttered. “I uh…I needed to hear it from you, not anyone else.”

It was almost funny how in sync you and Bucky were; you took a step to lean your back to the wall and his body automatically turned to follow you so that he could keep his eyes on you, like a dance.

“I missed you, you know?” His voice was soft, like he feared that if he said it any louder it would break the spell you had been under for the whole night. You swallowed thickly, resting your head back on the wall, looking up at the stars before your gaze found his.

“Me too,” you admitted in a whisper, hugging yourself. “Sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I descended upon your place with the fury of a hellhound,” you reminded him, making him scoff a laugh. “But hey, it didn’t affect the results. I guess you had a point about not being in The Bachelor.”

“I still shouldn’t have brought Max up,” he said and frowned as if the thought just hit him. “Is he taking you home—where is he by the way? You’ve had eight drinks, there’s no way you’re going home by yourself.”

You tilted your head. “You counted how many drinks I’ve had?”

“Observation,” he said after a pause. “It’s…handy.”

“For espionage.”

“And for nights like these,” he said and you hummed.

“Kels drank like half of my cocktails,” you said. “And Max is not taking me home.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “What kind of a shitty boyfriend—”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

 That made his head shoot up, the rest of his sentence getting caught somewhere in his throat. You offered him a small smile while he tried to pull himself together, blinking fast as if he was trying to decide whether he heard you right.

“What?” he ended up asking and you nodded your head.

“I dumped him.”

For the first time you’d met him, he was at a loss for words: “…Why?”

“So many reasons.” You heaved a sigh. “But like, at the end of the day, there’s a line, you know? And the motherfucker didn’t just cross it, he ran past it, jumped back, then ran past it again.” 

Bucky stared at you, a light you couldn’t quite decipher gleaming in his blue eyes but before either of you could say anything, the door of the bar opened and Hazel walked outside, her eyes narrowing the moment she saw that you were there with Bucky.

Ah.

Bucky, being a guy, had no idea what that glare meant; you doubted he even noticed it despite his perfect observation skills, but the message was quite clear: I saw that hug, back off.

So you did. You stepped sideways when she stepped closer to Bucky and averted your eyes from him to give her a tight lipped smile.

“Hello Miss Brooks.”

“Hi. You ready babe?” she asked Bucky, making your stomach do a painful flip and Bucky took a deep breath as if he was trying to snap out of a daze, his eyes still on you.

“Who’s—who’s taking you home?”

“I’m not going home,” you said, looking between him and Hazel who was leaning on his arm sideways. “Me and the rest of the team are going to the club to celebrate, we’ll probably be outside until the morning. You guys should join if you’d like, Kelsey’s friend is a bartender there, and the place has got like a bunch of cocktail awards.”

Hazel hummed and smiled up at Bucky.

“I think we’ll have our own celebration at home tonight,” she said with a quiet laugh like it was an inside joke, and you tried to ignore the fire in your throat.

Ouch.

Well played though.

Bucky’s brows furrowed like he was a bit uncomfortable with the innuendo, and he stole a glance at her while you forced yourself to smile, taking a step back.

“Have fun though!” Hazel added. “You guys deserved it.”

You couldn’t decide whether that was condescending or you were just unnecessarily sensitive because she was the one who was going home with Bucky tonight and not you.

“Thank you,” you said and nodded at Bucky. “And congratulations, Mr. Barnes.”   

With that, you walked past him to make your way into the bar, then approached Kelsey and Caleb.

“Hey,” Kelsey said. “Ready to go?”

You scoffed a laugh, then grabbed her drink from her hand to down it in one go.

“Oh yeah,” you said. “Let’s get me blackout drunk.”

[johnhwatsonblog]

What’s your top three most uncanny sentences you’ve had had to say because of Sherlock? Like: ‘Put the pancreas down’, ‘That’s not your skull,’ or ‘Don’t inhale ether, you’re gonna throw up or set the couch on fire.’

1. “You cannot threaten someone with a thesaurus, even if it’s leather-bound.”

(Occurred during a disagreement with a museum curator. The thesaurus survived. The curator’s dignity did not.)

2. “That’s a human toe, Sherlock. Why is it in the butter?”

(Tuesday. Absolutely just… a regular Tuesday.)

3. “If you lick one more evidence slide, I’m calling Mycroft and telling him you’ve gone feral again.”

(He did. I did. We’re not discussing the fallout.)

More from my notebook:

4. I’m not sedating a goose, Sherlock, I don’t care how suspicious it looks.”

5. “You cannot keep naming your body parts after Greek gods. I am not calling your spleen ‘Apollo.’”

6. “Please take the eyeball out of the microwave. I need to reheat my tea.”

7. “No, you can’t collect footprints from the living room carpet. That’s mud. From your shoes.”

8. “For the love of God, do not use the toaster to simulate electrocution.”

9. “You said we were going out for milk. This is not milk. This is a hostage negotiation.”

10. “If I open that fridge and it’s another experiment, I swear I’m moving in with Greg.”

11. “Don’t wave that femur at me like you’re conducting Beethoven.”

12. “Sherlock, no jury on Earth is going to accept ‘boredom’ as a legal defense for arson.”

13. “Why is there a mannequin in my bed wearing my jumper and crying?”

14. “For the last time, Sherlock: Rosie is not your junior crime scene consultant, she is a toddler/child, and I am not explaining blood spatter analysis to her teacher.”

[ladykailitha]

Forever Young Part 5

Welcome back to the fluffy fic that is angsty as hell, because apparently I can't write Steve without delving into trauma. Especially this chapter. I think I made myself tear up just now, re-reading this chapter to post it.

Like it has Steve trauma, the poorer kids clashing against the rich kids, and Mike and Max having a minor bonding moment.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

~

Will slipped out of the door to talk to his mom and Hopper before they left. He needed to know a could of things about Steve. It might not make them all adults again, but he felt like he needed it to understand Steve better.

“Mom!” he called out, jogging up to her. “Just a couple of questions really quick, and then you guys can leave.”

Joyce turned to him, and cocked her head. “What’s up, baby?”

“They don’t remember anything from after their current age,” Will said slowly. “So Steve’s kinda freaking out about this house. I was wondering if either one of you might remember when the Harrington’s moved in, so we have better idea of how to handle that.”

Hopper and Joyce looked at each other for a moment.

“God,” Hopper said rubbing his chin. “I think it was before I came back to town. Steve was in middle school then.”

Joyce nodded. “The Harringtons aren’t from Hawkins originally. To be honest, no one was sure why they moved into town in the first place. But I think it was in Jonathan’s first or second grade.”

“So Steve was about eight or nine you think?” Will pressed, leaning forward interest.

“That sounds about right,” Joyce confirmed. “No one was expecting anyone to move into this large house. It’s larger than most of the houses in Loch Nora. But they did.”

Will licked his lips as he thought about that. “I know it’s not talked about in polite society or whatever, but Steve is giving us the impression that his dad didn’t always cheat and his mom wasn’t always distant, so...”

“So you’re wondering if it was an immediate change when they got to town or if it happened later down the line?” Hopper asked, putting one hand on his hip as he continued to rub his chin.

“You’re brother was never one for sports, sweetie,” Joyce said, pained. “So I don’t know if they came to Steve’s games or anything.”

“I’d say about the time Steve started high school was when the troubles started,” Hopper said, putting his other hand on his hip and shifting his weight. “Because that’s when Steve started acting out. Clint called it youthful transgressions and always bailed Steve out, but I’d say that’s about when the Harringtons starting leaving on longer and longer trips out of town.”

“Is that everything you needed, Will?” she asked gently. “Because we really need to get going.”

Will nodded and both Joyce and Hopper got into his truck, pulling away from Will.

~

Lucas spotted Will coming back and mouthed, ‘Are you okay?’

Will nodded, sliding next to him at the counter.

“Will,” Wayne said without turning around from the stove where he was making dinner, “would you happen to know where Steve keeps his pots and pans, these yahoos didn’t.”

Will snorted. Because of course they didn’t. They never really helped Steve in the kitchen, it was always the older teens while they would hang out in the front room, letting them do all the work.

“Second pantry next to the hall.”

Wayne looked over his shoulder and Will pointed at the correct door. He whirled around and opened the door.

He blinked at the large space he found behind it in utter shock. It had pots and pans of every stripe no doubt. But it also had a blender, a hand mixer, a stand mixer, a food processor, a Crockpot, another microwave, mixing bowls, and Tupperware of every size and shape imaginable.

All the teenagers besides Will piled up around Wayne to see what he was staring at. Dustin turned to Little Steve who was sitting on the floor playing with Little Eddie with some string they found, and then back to the literal walk-in closet filled with kitchen stuff.

“Then what’s in the cupboards?” Mike whispered a little bit in awe. His parents were probably the richest of his friends, but not even they had a whole extra closet filled with stuff like this.

Hell, his mom was complaining that she didn’t have enough room in the kitchen.

Max went over to the cupboard by the sink and opened it slowly, unsure of what she would find. Inside were large containers of protein powder. El opened another one and there were cans of soup of nearly every kind she could think of.

They opened a couple more, but they were all filled with food.

“Well,” Wayne said, blinking for a moment. “At least we won’t have to go shopping for groceries.”

“He also has two chest freezers out in the garage,” Lucas said, “Max and I saw them when we were looking for toys for them to play with. They were filled to the brim of meat and frozen vegetables and shit.”

Dustin frowned and looked over at the kid who would grow up to be his best friend. Little Steve who was still playing Cat’s Cradle with Little Eddie. He let out a pained huff, that was a little on the nose. Like the song, Steve had grown up waiting for his dad to pay attention to him, but now, Mr. Harrington barely crossed his friend’s mind.

“They’re all food that doesn’t go bad easily,” he murmured and looked up at Wayne. “How long has the Harringtons relied on him to take care of himself?”

The older kids fell silent as the de-aged adults continued to laugh and play.

“I don’t know, son,” Wayne grumbled, “but it’s too long. Far, far too long.”

“Robin!” Lucas yelled, suddenly scrambling across the kitchen.

While everyone was focused on Little Eddie and Little Steve, Little Robin had decided that everyone was taking too long to feed her and took matters into her own tiny fists. She had managed to pull out a couple of drawers to crawl onto the counter where she was trying to reach the boxed mac and cheese.

Lucas caught her by the waist and hauled her away from the cupboard. “How did you know the mac was up there anyway?”

Little Robin stopped struggling for a moment to blink up at him. “Like where else is it gonna go?” Like Lucas was too dumb to know that everyone puts their mac and cheese above the stove for ease of grabbing.

“I don’t want mac and cheese!” Little Jonathan huffed, putting his hands on his hips. “It tastes funny!”

“Yeah!” Eddie whined, looking up at Wayne. “The powder stuff is gross!”

Mike and Dustin looked at each other in confusion. “The cheese?” Dustin asked, sneering.

Will winced and ducked his head to hide his blush. They absolutely did not mean the cheese. They meant the powdered milk. “It won’t be the powdered stuff,” he promised. “They have liquid milk.”

Little Jonathan frowned for a moment before he nodded. “Make sense, my friend Freddy gets to have liquid milk in his cereal when I sleepover.”

Will did not know that name, as far as he knew Jonathan didn’t have a friend named Freddie or even Fred.

“That’s not what we’re having for dinner,” Wayne growled. “Mac and cheese is a side and not a meal. Not unless you through in hot dogs or ground beef.”

“Ooh!” Little Robin said with a smile. “I always love it when Mom splurges for the hot dogs. She even puts ketchup in it!”

Little Steve made a face. “Ketchup is gross!”

Little Eddie looked over at his new friend in shock. “Ketchup is the only thing that makes hot dogs taste good!”

“Ketchup is too tangy,” Little Steve huffed, folding his arms over his chest with a pout. “Tomato sauce is better. But I like cheese on my hot dogs. That’s good.”

“Well it’s a good thing we aren’t doing either,” Wayne said, wading between them before things got heated. “I’ve got some chicken nuggets and french fries.”

Suddenly all the kids were clamoring for the prizes Wayne had brought. The teens started pulling out baking sheets and emptied the bags of chicken nuggets and fries onto them. They had long since learned how to work together from many a party there since the spring break from Hell.

Once the food was in the ovens, Wayne took the kids out front to let them play on the sprawling lawn while dinner cooked.

Will pulled out his notebook. “I’m adding Robin knowing where the mac and cheese was to the things they’re remembering.”

Dustin nodded and snapped his fingers. “Yeah. Let’s go everything they’ve remembered.”

Will started listing things with the others adding to the list from just the minor things they’ve heard one or the other of the newly minted kids said or did.

“But then they get confused,” El said cocking her head to the side, “and the memory vanishes.”

“Yeah,” Dustin said, putting his hands on his hips. “I thought Steve was going to legit start crying over the bats on Eddie’s arm.”

They all looked around at each other and frowned. The mystery only seemed to deepen rather than get closer to being solved. It certainly didn’t seem to be like it would be over come tomorrow, that was for sure.

“I think it’s kinda cute,” Max said with a small smile. “Like they’re always taking care of us, making sure we’re okay. It’s nice to be able to return the favor without making them feel like adults burdening kids, you know?”

Lucas’s jaw worked up and down but no sound came out.

“It is nice,” Will said wistfully, propping his chin on fist and gazing off into the distance. “But like I do miss Jonathan being older than me, too. Like I can’t talk to him about things when he’s like this.”

“Why couldn’t they have waited until one of us had a driver’s license?” Dustin huffed. “Then we wouldn’t have had to involve adults at all.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “It’s not like they asked for this!” He waved his arm out the window where they could hear the sounds of the kids playing. “They didn’t ask to be cursed for fuck’s sake and yeah it’s cute now, but I want my badass sister back.”

He stood there breathing heavily for a moment then threw his arms in the air, storming out to the back.

The resulting silence was deafening.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Max whispered, her lip quivering. “I just think they’re cute. I wasn’t saying that we shouldn’t get them back. Of course I want them back as adults.”

“I think Mike is just having a hard time suddenly being the oldest,” Lucas said taking her hand. “When you’re the middle child for so long and are suddenly made in charge of everything, that’s a lot of pressure.”

Then the green timer went off and Dustin went to go call them in. Will and El went into the kitchen to get the food out of the ovens. Lucas got down the plates and started putting the fries and nuggets on them.

Max watched for a moment before she walked to the back door where Mike was sitting in the sun room.

She knocked on the door frame. “Food’s ready.”

Mike was sitting on the sofa facing the pool, he had his hands clasped together under his chin, propped up on his knees. He just nodded.

Max sat down next to him, her hands sliding down her thighs to grab her knees. “You do know you’re not the only one in there who’s older sibling got zapped into being a child right? There’s Will and El for a start with Jonathan. Yes, El isn’t biologically related, but that’s still her foster brother. And even Dustin and I looked up to Eddie and Steve respectively as our older brothers. Again, not related by blood, but still important to us. Even Lucas really looks up to Steve. But you’re out here acting like you’re the only one who’s sibling got wrecked.”

He stared at her in wide eyed shock.

“It’s just we rely on them for so much,” she continued, “I just think they deserve a day or two just being kids. Eddie might have join the Party as an adult, but the rest of them didn’t. Sixteen felt old when we started this, but we’re all nearly that ourselves now. I really don’t feel old. Do you?”

“That’s just it,” Mike growled, “Nancy’s never been the responsible one, it’s always been me. And now she’s getting this grand baby’s day out and the responsibility again falls on my shoulders.”

Max frowned. “But she helped us out with Vecna. She was there, we couldn’t have done it without her.”

Mike scoffed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Only because she didn’t want to miss the ‘big game’. She should have been with me seeing her boyfriend. But instead she thought writing an article about some stupid basketball game was more important than seeing her boyfriend whom she was supposed to be in love with. And she’s always like that. She would rather do what she wants then for the greater good or even for the love of her boyfriend or even brother both of which she says she loves very much. Doesn’t feel like it!”

Max blinked at him for a moment. Thinking back at all the times it was Steve and not Nancy or Jonathan standing between danger and the rest of them. Robin later when she became friends with Steve, but neither of them had any skin in the game. Not really.

“Oh.”

“Whatever,” he huffed and moved to stand up.

“Wait.” She pulled him by his sleeve and forced him to sit back down. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right, you deserve to be a kid too. For fuck’s sake you got shot at. A lot. It’s not being cursed by a fucking psychopath, but it’s still scary as hell. I know you wanted your big sister in that moment and you’re right, she should have been there.” She gripped his arm tightly. “I’m alive and so is Eddie, because she was with us. I know that’s not a consolation and it isn’t meant to be.”

“Yeah, then what is it?”

“Proof that you never needed her to kick ass for you,” Max said gently. “We needed her, but you don’t. You never did, Mike. You’re pretty badass on your own.”

She stood up and walked back into the kitchen, leaving him there to think about that for a moment.

He scoffed, a small smile spreading over his face. No matter how hard he tried, the smile kept returning bigger every time. He snorted and then started laughing.

Mike got up and followed her back to the kitchen. Yeah. He really was pretty badass, wasn’t he?

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @irregular-child @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @oopsallgender @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @steddieislife @stripey82 @tony-2012 @stedestielfrattficlover @micheledawn1975

10- @moonshadows-13 @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale @morallyundefined @best-thing-at-this-party @ollieolive

[faerie-fang]

the winter king is sooo tumblr sexyman yes but can we talk about the candy queen being the best representation of your average tumblr user with Blorbo Disease — her fucking song???? “AND SO IM GONNA PUT YOU INTO A BLENDER WITH MEE, SET THE OVEN TO THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DEGREEES” nooo one understands love/obsession except for her and all of us

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai and his tantrums ~

"... Hmph. I hope you crash this car and we both die."

The moody brunet mutters under his breath as he looks out of the car window, his arms crossed over his chest, refusing to look at you. He was awfully cute whenever he did this, and oh so vexing at the same time. You learned to acclimate to this very early into your relationship with him.

"What? All I said was that I was going to be driving us, Osamu!"

Your laugh is light hearted as you focus on the road ahead, dismissing his whiny behavior for another one of his... Melodramatic performances, his co-workers once called it. He finally turns to glare at you, but a wicked glint in his narrowed eyes betrays him... You can tell he's more unserious than anything. Playful, even. And besides, he would never actually be upset with you, he just can't stop thinking up schemes to make you roll your eyes at him. Your smile alone makes his thoughts impure, shame on you!

"Yeah, well... I feel dehumanized! overlooked! neglected..." He feigns offense, sighing heavily as he slouches into the passenger seat. He places a bandaged arm over his face, groaning softly but still side eyeing you to check if you're looking at him or not.

"You do that all on your own, silly."

"Excuse me? I'm expressing my grievances and you're calling me silly? Oh, so that's what this is really about. You don't love me anymore! What a cruel beauty you are..."

He gasps, now burying his face into the crook of his elbow, pretending to weep as he mumbles incoherent nonsense about how much you mistreat him. In actuality, he was giddy as hell. You park the car, and turn to face him, a coy smile flashes on your lips.

"Nobody said anything about not loving you. Now, what can I do to fix this, Mm?"

He lifts his head up, suddenly composed and shrugging his shoulders as if nothing ever happened, speaking in a matter of fact voice that somehow deepened.

"Well, definitely don't let me drive. I don't even have a license. I'd kill us in an instant."

"... Then why argue about it?!"

"Because you look so beautiful when you're yelling at me. And you make me feel alive. Anddd, because I'm bored~"

He flashes you a cheeky grin, it's dreamy and sickening. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he leans over the seat and flicks away a stray hair from your face. Dazai then taps the tip of your nose, slowly dragging his finger down to your plush bottom lip, gently flipping it over to expose your teeth. The pad of his finger gently swirls against your canines, and finally, retreats... He knows there's a time and place for his worship prodding. His eyes travel back up to yours, and you can swear they look darker than usual. If only the Port Mafia could see what became of the Demon Prodigy... A new man reborn! A man who loves!

The rest of the day is spent with you indulging Dazai, something along the lines of 'reparations' is what he calls it. Only he knows how much it means to him that you can handle him during his calculated outbursts... or rather harmless tests to prove you won't leave him at the first sign of trouble. He needs you to be in it for the longhaul, just like he is. It's deceptive, but no one has to know! He just loves you and these are simply counter measures. You'd probably call him selfish, but as long as you call him at all, he doesn't give a shit. Because in the grand scheme of things, he really can't drive, and you two are inevitably endgame.

You're the ball, and he's your chain.

[wintergrofyuri]

fuckkkk.. you know how the princess' heart is like. a really big motif. like stabbing her in the heart being the Only way you kill her, wounded wild and fury's exposed heart, the razor's heart being visible inside her metal ribcage, the original princess literally being called the heart of the shifting mound.

well the only times we get to see/hear about the long quiet's heart are 1) when the spectre rips it out with her bare hands and crushes it (metal as fuck btw i love that imagery), and 2) when smitten rips open your ribcage, also bare handed, to show it/give it to the damsel.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN.

also like. the contrast between those scenes.. spectre taking it for herself vs damsel being offered it.. spectre crushing it like its nothing vs damsel reverently reaching towards it, barely brushing it before we die and dont get to see what she does with it..

and lets go further!! wraith and hea BOTH remove the option of the blade. in wraith its just not there, but in hea the princess has it. theres no basement either. they both deal with themes of agency and actively being denied freedom. theres a dark figure preventing you from being in control of your own body (wraith breaking your ankle and smitten forcing you to stay seated). opportunist and paranoid are there.

my god. I LOVE GORE AS INTIMACY RAAAAAGHGGHG

[felisgalactus]

Have some more Transformers doodles because I am so obsessed you guys the brainrot is real

Can you guess who my favorite character is it’s the one I keep making miserable

[cirrup]

Over here having a super fun time thinking about how PIDW Yue Qingyuan shattered himself twice trying to get to Shen Jiu. What a guy.

[loveridden1999]

[feralriverwater]

Been playing lots of Pokemon Sword, and I love this little bnuuy

[hdra77]

!!EYESTRAIN TW!!

'OH I CAN'T SAY NO, I'M LOSING CONTROL..'

ok this is old but ive been wanting to share this bc why nott :grin: <-completely forgets the emoji wont automatically appear like discord does Fool's reverence AU made with my bestie @strandedaylily !! doomed iterators !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also not me wanting to make a pmv out of this like you've no idea even though i have another one that i havent EVEN TOUCHED FOR MONTHS also the song is new invention by IDKHBTFM

[dr3pidemic]

This is how it feels to like Dr. Iceberg y'all

He looks like an angry parakeet

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Leonard 'Cold As Ice' Snart: Huh. It's been almost twenty minutes since I explained to a murderer just how much Flash and I like each other. I better do something about that.

[minjoongism]

(c.) 🕺🐿️

[andiv3r]

Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.

[uwucatsuh]

wretched beast