#i need to write More in general without worrying too much about the phrasing and the flow …

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

uuuuuu wanna write coffee shop au with suguru so bad . or uni au . something sweet and soft T_T;;;

[atlasofthestaars]

[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .004

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Note: I often try to plan out plot points while I’m at work, and I was like wow! I get why Kronika went insane because trying to keep all these plot points (especially the parts where I plan on diverging from canon) logical is wild.

This is the first chapter that doesn’t follow any of the main campaign events at all, so it was a bit more of a struggle to write for, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! There will be more chapters of this, building up the much needed foundation for the champions squad. Don’t worry Lin Kuei fans, there will be a few more Lin Kuei moments too during these times, allowing us to see them again before they disappear for a while during the tournament arc!

Shang Tsung deliberation is up until a week from when chapter 3 was released/aka when the tumblr poll ends. 

Otherwise, I will accept any wants for any other love interests until we get closer towards the Outworld arc since I’m pretty sure all Earthrealm men are already confirmed.

For example, someone asked for Reiko, so here’s a poll for him to gauge interest, AO3 fans, please comment on your thoughts for him!

FROM THE EYES OF ONE WHO HELPED TRAIN SOME NEW CHAMPIONS

Turns out, thinking about the things that worried you leads to overthinking.

Pacing back and forth in your room, you felt the cool wood under your feet. With how much you paced around the room, you were surprised the wood had not been ruined at this point. You paused in your pacing and you looked outside the window to look at the moon. 

You were never a good sleeper, finding it hard to sleep at night. But oddly enough you always found yourself awake for the sunrise due to routine. You often found naps were a good supplement for your tiredness, but some days you would suffer being awake without much rest.

Your memories buzzed around your head too much to rest easy. You paced back and forth once more for a few more minutes until you stopped at the door of your room, briefly considering going and seeing whether Liu Kang could help ease your troubled mind.

Your hand laid upon the handle, the metal knob cool to the touch. Goosebumps trailed up your arm as you stared at the doorknob. You tried to will yourself to move. To finally speak with Liu Kang about the memories that weighed upon you, to free yourself of this silly burn that you brought about upon yourself.

Unfortunately, you could not bring yourself to step outside your door.

You were too racked with guilt to do that.

You were afraid of the idea that you would slip up and mention the many other memories you had recovered, the timeline you were beginning to piece together, and Liu Kang would begin to realize this. You were afraid of upsetting the man who most generously took you in and allowed you to stay by his side despite your odd past.

You did not want to ruin the good thing you had going for yourself.

Your hand dropped from the doorknob. Sighing, you walked over to a particular floorboard and carefully lifted it up. You reached inside and pulled out the leather bound diary that you had found on yourself when you first awoke in this world. Along with it was a pen that somehow, despite the years, had not run out of its smooth ink.

This was your only confidant in the memories you had. Moving towards your desk, you adjusted the lantern in your room to hang over the desk, giving you more light to work with. You stared at your words, trying to look at what you recalled.

Your memories seemed to be linked with those you interacted with, so the Lin Kuei and Liu Kang and the memories surrounding them were the strongest. Even still, you had holes in what should be completed memories. Meeting the new people seemed to patch some of them up, though.

You sighed as you skimmed the pages. They were mostly short phrases describing what you remembered from these brief memories. It was hard to keep them in order since they were random and never in order whenever you got them.

You picked up the pen, spinning it with a flourish before you began to write.

Kung Lao, a cocky monk of the Shaolin with a razor hat. Once was friends with Liu Kang. Seems now he is a farmer and friends with Raiden.

Raiden, Thunder god. Seems to have once been what Liu Kang is now. Mortal now, and a farmer of Fengjian with Kung Lao.

Johnny Cage, actor. Was with Sonya Blade and had a kid. Still an actor, has a different wife, and no kid. 

Kenshi Takahashi, once a blind swordsman with telekinesis and telepathy with a magic sword. Had a kid. Now seems that he has his vision, uncertain of abilities.

You sighed as you put down your pen, staring at the words in front of you. You tried to will yourself to conjure any memories you had of these men previously from just their name. Unfortunately, this just gave you a headache…and not the kind that gave you any helpful memories.

“Damn.” You muttered leaning back in your chair. You had never had control of your memories, even after all these years. They were rather inconvenient and useless, since they rarely gave you any insight on the ones you meet. They’re all so different.

The only constant was their names.

You closed your eyes as you thought of the four men you had written down. Who were they? What was their connection to you? You sighed as you rubbed your forehead, trying to ease the headache you had accidentally given yourself.

Ah shit, you were in charge of training them, weren’t you? Or at least, somewhat.

They were going to be a headache in more ways than one, it seemed.

“So, how, exactly, am I to train the four?” You inquire as you glance over to Liu Kang, briefly noting the way the sunlight landed on his features. It was another morning of watching the sunrise with the fire god. You had gotten a few hours of sleep, at least, before rising to meet up with Liu Kang as usual. A few hours was better than nothing.

You had started off quiet, before natural conversation hit the both of you. You discussed many things, mostly the events of the past few days, before the conversation naturally landed on the new recruits. You found out that they were going to be arriving at the Wu Shi academy in a few days time, giving them enough time to get their life sorted out before they drastically change theirs.

The god looked over to you. It seemed like he had been expecting this question, and you wondered just how easily he could read you. 

“You are to simply oversee their training and test their skill. I know you are not all too familiar with the teaching of the monks, so they shall handle the bulk of it.” He explained, and you found yourself sighing with relief. “Not to mention, I shall also assist when I am able.” You were not ready to have to handle training four grown men, so hearing that you were mostly there to test them was great.

You were good at fighting, at least. It was a skill that people often commended you for. 

Madam Bo often praised you as one of the best she had sparred with. The old Lin Kuei’s grandmaster often found value in the practice you gave his sons. You would never admit it, but you prided yourself on these compliments. 

“That’s good.” You remarked, feeling your shoulders relax. You returned your gaze to the rising sun and the pretty colors that were painted in the sky. You paused, deliberating over the next words that were to leave your mouth. “Why me?” You asked, your voice almost shy. That question had been haunting you ever since you found out about this arrangement back in Fengjian.

“Because I can trust you.” Liu Kang began, his voice filled with certainty. You felt a pang of guilt, your gaze dropping to your hands. Your mind screamed with how you were unworthy of his trust with the memories you found yourself unable to confide in him with. “And I know you will provide a healthy challenge to them.” You chuckled at his words, pushing out the voice that whispered in your head.

“Why are we recruiting these people so late?” You inquired, asking another question that had been bugging you for a while now. You were glad that Liu Kang was a benevolent god, and never seemed to mind your questions. “Would it not be more wise to recruit them earlier since the tournament is mere months away?” 

“Had we sought them before, none of them would be ready.” Liu Kang answered wisely, and you hummed. You knew better than to ask how he knew this, despite the years together there were some things you knew he kept secret, and his innate knowledge was one of those things. You supposed it was just a godly thing.. “It is only until now that an opportunity presented itself.”

“And so you decided that I was one of the best options to train them within a few months?”

“Indeed.”

“You have a lot of confidence in me, Liu Kang.” 

“Should I not?” The god questioned. The tone in his voice surprised you, and you looked over to him instinctively. You were surprised to see such a strong look of confidence on his face. Gently, he put a hand on your shoulder. His thumb rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. Through your clothes and his hand wraps, you felt the comfort of his warmth.

“No, you should.” You said, your voice filled with a bit more confidence. You looked at his face, feeling oddly proud of yourself to have earned the god’s confidence. He nodded, seeming content with the shift in your attitude. “I shall do my best.” You said, bowing for the man.

“I know you will.”

“How are you boys doing?” 

Striding into the courtyard of the Wu Shi academy, you looked at the four recruits. You noted how each of them wore the uniform, and how it all seemed to fit them, more or less. You walked with confidence in front of them, imbued with the words you had been given before from Liu Kang. 

All of them were various degrees of exhaustion. Not surprisingly, the actor seemed to be having it the roughest. He was still fine, but it was easy to tell he was the most winded out of the four. You assumed his luxurious lifestyle had something to do with it.

You sucked in a breath as you fought the massive headache these four were giving you. Being stuck with overseeing their training, you assumed you’d be having this feeling a lot. It was no matter, you’d simply sleep it off right now.

Strangely enough, despite the intensity of the headache, you were unable to glean any memories easily. Probably something to do with so many people trying to resurface at once.

“Training has been rigorous, but enlightening.” Raiden replied, his face flush from exertion, and you noted how out of the four he was one of the ones faring a bit better. You assumed it was because he wasn’t underestimating the monks’ intense lessons. You smiled at him, nodding.

“Good, as it should be.” You said, humming as you clasped your hands behind your back, observing them all. Despite their tired state, you could tell they were at least eager. “As Lord Liu Kang has said, I will be partially in charge of your training.” You grinned at them, seeing them perk up at your words. “Today will be a…benchmark to see where your skills lie.”

“Who exactly are you again?” Johnny asked, still hunched over slightly, hands on his knees as he looked up at you. You saw the slight glares from the others, probably because they saw his words rude. He put up his hands defensively. “Hey, I didn’t get a proper introduction like you guys did.” He defended himself.

“Don’t worry, I don’t take offense.” You chuckled, shaking your head. You said your name, clearly and loudly so the others made sure what it was. “I’m a companion of Lord Liu Kang, and he has entrusted me with overseeing your training.” You explained before clearing your throat. “I’m not one for lectures, so I’ll get right to it, who wishes to go first?” 

The four looked amongst themselves, seeming to deliberate amongst themselves silently on who would face this challenger they’ve never seen fight. You let out a silent chuckle, wondering how they sized you up. Eventually, you watched as Kung Lao strode up to take the challenge. 

“Let me show the others how it’s done.” He declared, seeming confident. You saw the small smirk on his lips, and in return you smiled graciously at him. You gestured for the others to step to the side, and you watched as a few of the monks gathered around to watch. The monks were no stranger to your fighting prowess.

“Bold.” You commended, nodding as you walked into place with Kung Lao, settling into the all too familiar fighting pose that you were familiar with. You watched as he mimicked your actions, settling into his as well. “Now, allow me to show you why I was entrusted with this task.”

You watched as Kung Lao approached, confidence in his strides. Almost too confident. You held a defensive position. The point of this test was to gauge their abilities, so acting on the defensive first would allow you to see what their confidence and skills on the offense were like. 

As he swung the first punch, you blocked it with ease. You supposed it was a bit unfair, having already known what Kung Lao’s fighting style was like after watching him in the teahouse along with the bits of memories you had of him. You allowed him to attempt to break your defense more, noting how he had a strong emphasis on his punches with their quick nature.

You had to commend him on his confidence, he knew he was a strong fighter. The farmer had a lot of potential.

It wasn’t until his major slip up with throwing a rather risky punch that you decided that it was time to go on the offensive. Ducking under the move, you went for a sweep, knocking the man off his feet. You waited until he got back up before you grabbed him. Taking him off his guard, you brought him close as you winded your leg back.

As you sent the kick flying into his stomach, you transformed your leg into that of a secretary bird’s, allowing you to put even more power than you would have normally.

“Holy shit!”

You disregarded the actor’s exclaim as you watched Kung Lao fly back, tumbling from the strike. As he stumbled up, he seemed surprised before hesitantly approaching once more. This time, he utilized more caution as he swung at you, trying to even employ the technique of grabbing you like you had. Easily you shoved him back, retaliating by whirling around and transforming yourself to have a kangaroo’s tail which you swung at him with.

This back and forth went on for a bit, with Kung Lao being easily fended off by you before he eventually conceded, calling for surrender.

“You fight well.” You commend, bowing towards Kung Lao. He did the same as he panted, nodding as he caught his breath. You stood up to look at him as he gestured towards you, a look of awe on his face.

“I am amazed at your transformation skills.” The farmer admitted, looking at you up and down with amazement as he continued to catch his breath. “Is it possible to learn that?” He asked, almost too eagerly as he walked over to the side to rest up.

“It is a skill I was born with, so unfortunately I cannot teach you.” You told him, grinning as you held out your arm to transform it into a bear’s with its claws out. “I have the ability to transform any part of my body, and all of me, into an animal.” You explained as you transformed your arm back as easily as you had changed it.

“Now, who is next?” 

You causally stood there, only having barely broken a sweat as they stood to the side, catching their breath. A pleased look appeared on your face as you crossed your arms, noting how they each fought. Today you had gone easy on them, being more defensive than your usual aggressive fighting style. You surmised they’d only have a few bruises each because of this. You tried to stay away from anything that would rip and tear.

Honestly, your memories had been helpful for once. They helped clue you in on the fighting style of each man, the odd exception being Raiden who felt pretty different than the man you remembered. It was nice to know what to expect, unlike the first time you had fought the Lin Kuei in training…

Kung Lao had been interesting, being the most confident in his strikes and fighting style. That matched with his speed allowed you to see where he truly shone in his fighting. Taking defense against him was a challenge due to how swiftly he struck, but being able to defend well proved useful as you could counter him when he was left vulnerable after a failed attempt at breaking your defense.

You hummed, recalling how this version of the man lacked the iconic razor hat you remembered. You wondered briefly if you should suggest it to him, or if it’d be odd. You also noticed how despite his confidence in this life, he was at least a bit more humble than when you remembered him last.

Johnny Cage had been unique, his fighting style more flashy and all in than what you were used to. It felt like it should be impractical from just watching it, but the man made it work somehow. He also had interesting evasion, which almost took you off guard. You think you could definitely work with it, especially teaching him how to better evade the opponent since he seemed to grasp that concept well already.

Your eyes looked over to Kenshi. Kenshi had been odd to train with since he wielded a sword, and it felt like he had the most experience in fighting. Your eyes trailed down to his hands, noting the tattoos that littered his hands. You remembered how Liu Kang had briefed you in on his past. A yakuza…that explains the calculated way he fought. 

You wondered if you’d ever have to deal with the telekinesis you remembered he had in his past life.

Raiden had been the most different from his past life. In both his fighting since he lacked the lightning powers you remembered so strongly, and how he carried himself. He was not as confident as you hoped, despite the obvious skill he had.

You’d have to work on that with him.

“Excellent work for day one with me.” You congratulated, causing the four men to look at you with varying degrees of confusion. You guessed they thought they had done not so well due to how you had battled them off easily. “As I said, this is a benchmark, so I know now how to best advise where to take your training, especially since the tournament is mere months away.” 

“That was a benchmark?” Johnny Cage asked, sending you a disbelieving look. He had been one of the ones you had ended up fighting the most before he conceded. He had been stubborn against you, and you don’t know whether that was foolish or something to be commended for. Maybe it was both. “You kicked our asses.” You chuckled as you grinned at him.

“Did you expect anything less from someone who is allowed to stand by the Fire God’s side?” You asked, a hint of playfulness in your tone before you observed them once again. “We’ll meet again tomorrow after your training with the monks. For now, you are all dismissed.” You said, bowing towards them, your hands forming a fist into your palm similarly to how Liu Kang does. 

You turned around, intending to go back to the Fire Temple for a well deserved nap, especially since the headache was getting nearly unbearable at this rate. Then, you heard your name being called. Turning around with a raised eyebrow, you watched as Johnny jogged to catch up with you.

Your head pounded as he neared, but you at least felt some relief as you felt a few more memories resurface.

You recalled how he had been very, very arrogant as a younger man. He had brazenly had his name tattooed across his chest, and for a moment you allowed your head to dip to his chest, curious if he still had it in this life. Somewhere, after what you could only remember a big event as a tragedy, you remembered he mellowed out. 

You wondered how this one’s attitude laid on those scales.

“You know, you’d be a hit in Hollywood.” He told you, his breath still heavy with exertion. You raised an eyebrow, surprised at his words. You weren’t all too familiar with what he was talking about, but you assumed it had to do with his acting background which you vaguely remembered.

“Really?” You asked, holding back a chuckle as you looked at him with amusement. Even across the world, he was still thinking about his acting career. “What makes you say that?” You inquire, deciding to entertain his thoughts. 

“People dig animals,” The actor started off, gesturing to you, “and not to mention how much you’d be valued there for being able to act as any animal?” He continued, acting as if he were trying to sell you on the offer. “Directors would be hitting you up left and right.” You felt yourself grin a bit more at his praise, but reminded yourself not to get caught up in his flattery.

“Are you implying I’d only be adored for my animal side? And not my own charisma?” You asked with faux offense, deciding to try and tease Johnny. You were surprised how he didn’t even flinch at your words and smoothly replied.

“Nah, you got that and more.” The actor admitted, shrugging as he pointed at you. “but it’s not often people meet an animal shapeshifter.” He pointed out with a nod, making you nod. “So if anything is your claim to fame, it’s that.”

“You’re interesting, Cage.”

“So I’ve been told.” The man replied wittily as he grinned at you, eagerness shining in his eyes. “So, you interested in becoming a star after all this blows over?” It was an innocent seeming question, but you narrowed your eyes, not certain on the intention of the question.

“Why are you so interested in my career path?” You inquired, your tone a touch more serious. You glanced over to see where the others had gone. All gone. No one to save you from this man’s questions. You crossed your arms as you gazed at him with skepticism.

You were hit with a wave of nostalgia as your mind reminded you all of a sudden how he had offered a similar gig in your past life.

Some things never change.

“Listen, I talked with Liu Kang, this shit has movie written all over it.” Johnny Cage decided to be a bit more transparent with you. You raised an eyebrow, and gestured for him to go on. “I think if what he says is true, I can make a box office hit!” He gestured towards you eagerly. “And I think you have what would make this movie superb, my friend.”

“Interesting…I’ll have to pass though.” You said, shutting him down. You watched as his glee dropped a bit, and you started to walk off. You were surprised as he still walked over to try and cut you off.

“Come on, hear me out-”

“Not right now, Cage.” You replied, putting a hand up to silence him. He huffed and you could tell he held back rolling his eyes. You sent him an unamused look. “Perhaps focus on your training first, then we can discuss it.” He perked up, and you decided it was best to start to walk off before he can try and talk to you about his movie shenanigans again.

“Really!?”

It was another sleepless night.

Sighing, you swung your legs over the side of the mattress as you sat up. Perhaps you should stop trying to take naps and fight through the sleepiness so you can actually sleep at night for once. You sigh as you slump over, rubbing your eyes.

You should go outside, maybe do something productive. It’s been a few days in a row of this, you had to try something.

Not knowing exactly what to do, you followed your sense of wanderlust. You left your room, down the halls and out the building. From there, you left and found yourself standing at the entrance of the Fire Temple. You hesitated as you stepped out onto the dirt path, hearing the rocks crunch beneath your feet.

You’ve never left in the middle of the night.

It’s not like you had a curfew, or that you had any promise to stay inside the Fire Temple at night. Far from it, you remembered how Liu Kang told you that you were allowed to come and go as you pleased. That was long ago. You never thought much of his words, thinking you would never stray far.

You wouldn’t, but you figured there was no harm in going and walking off your restless energy instead of staying cooped up within the Fire Temple.

With a burst of anxiety and what you could barely consider courage, you walked on. You followed what felt like an invisible trail, until you found yourself standing in front of the Wu Shi academy.

Strange, but you supposed maybe you could train. Walking carefully into the academy, you made sure to be quiet, as to not disturb the monks with any noise near their sleeping quarters. You found yourself making your way towards the training grounds where you were surprised to hear the faint noise of training.

Transforming your ears into bat ears, you tried to hone in on the sounds. You furrowed your eyebrows as you stood still, trying to make sure the person was not a threat, and if you could recognize them. You blinked as you suddenly came to a realization.

You walked quietly, making sure to follow the lessons Madam Bo and Bi-Han had pushed onto you to remain quiet and stealthy. Be stealthful as the night, and as deadly as the dawn. You peered from around a pillar, and spotted the person standing there alone, and you confirmed your suspicions.

It was Raiden.

You watched for a few minutes, changing your eyes to those of owl eyes to see better in the dark, to better observe. He was going over the basics, ever diligently. You pursed your lips, raising an eyebrow. You had thought he had been more…feeble, being more reserved than Kung Lao. And yet, he was here, training in the dead of night.

What a peculiar man.

After a few more minutes, you watched as he made a critical error in his form. He didn’t seem to notice, and you sighed. He kept on training, repeating the error. You cringed. That was going to form a nasty habit, and if you were to be the mentor Liu Kang trusted you to be, you couldn’t let that happen.

Moving out of position, you slinked closer towards him, stopping to lean against a pillar that was only a few feet away from him. You changed your eyes back, letting your eyesight return back to normal. You felt the all too familiar feeling of the headache return, and you grimaced.

Your memories for Raiden were confusing. He was like a completely different man in almost every way. If your memories didn’t trigger in such specific ways, you wouldn’t believe the man that appeared in your head was the same one that was training in front of you.

Maybe because he wasn’t the same man.

“You’re doing it wrong.” You spoke, your voice ringing clear in the quiet courtyard. You watched as Raiden jolted from surprise, stumbling as he whirled around in a fighting stance to face you. You smiled at him as you held your hands up. “Relax, Raiden.” You said softly, to try and calm him down from the sudden shock.

“Why are you…?” Raiden began, eyes wide in confusion as he stared at you, not processing the situation quickly. He swallowed as he tilted his head, mouth open as he tried to muster up the words to speak. You brushed off his confusion, gesturing to his stance. 

“Your form was off.” You comment, gesturing to his body and pointing towards where he exactly had been incorrect. “You were practicing with it being wrong. That’ll be bad practice for you.” You point out. You watched as he tried to correct his form, and you hummed, gesturing to instruct him on how to fix it. As he finally shifted back into a proper stance, you nodded. “Better.”

“Um…thank you.” The farmer boy said, his awkward feeling at the situation obvious. Not only did it show on his body language, but it was shown plainly on his face. You had a feeling this man couldn’t obscure his feelings for the life of him. 

It was good to be honest, but you were worried it might work against him.

“I have trouble sleeping at night.” You explained, crossing your arms as you sighed. Your eyes looked down at the ground as you noted how the moonlight fell and illuminated the area around you two. “I decided to go on a walk and wound up here. I thought it might be nice to try and train, then I saw you out here.” You looked up, and gestured to him.

“Oh.” Raiden said after a few moments of silence. His face flushed as he put two and two together that you were asking for him to explain why he was there too. “I…uh, couldn’t sleep.” He admitted, looking down to the ground in defeat. “It’s different here than in Fengjian.” 

Ah. Homesickness.

“I see, so you decided to try and train and work off your restlessness?” You inquired, tilting your head as you tried to gauge his reaction. He paused, considering your words for a moment, before nodding hesitantly.

“A bit.” He said, nodding his head. “But I was also thinking about our sparring today.” The farmer admitted. You blinked in surprise, and nodded, wanting him to go on. “I just wanted to go over what the monks taught us today, so next time I would fare better against you.” 

How humble and sweet.

“While I admire your determination, there’s two problems.” You said as you kicked off the pillar you had been leaning against. You strode over to stand closer to Raiden, gesturing to him. “One, you must be diligent in your forms. Practice without purpose only builds bad habits.” He nodded eagerly, seeming to take your words seriously. “Second, there is a thing such as over practicing.” 

“I see.” Raiden said, letting your words sink in as he nodded. He stared at you with a mixture of admiration and attentiveness, and you smiled. Quickly, he bowed in appreciation. “I’ll keep this in mind, thank you.”

“No problem, what kind of mentor would I be if I let you practice such horrible habits?” You inquired, crossing your arms. You observed the man a few moments more, and you sensed that neither one of you were quite tired enough to go to bed. “I have a feeling neither one of us is ready to sleep, would you like me to run you through the forms again?”

“Yes please!”

Maybe you were cut out for this after all.

part five

[cherlawa-panna]

Barney Barton META: Leaving the circus

◀ The previous post: Barney's childhood

I originally wanted to combine this post with Barney's life after leaving the circus, but I figured I’d probably run out of space for pics. So, I’m making two separate posts.

If you know anything about Barney, his agenda vary depending on the author, he changes a lot from comic to comic and yada yada (you know the deal). However, when it comes to him leaving the circus, it seems like the authors were working with the same general idea... kinda. This post will delve into that.

I’ll divide it into two parts: first, I’ll discuss the reasons why Barney left the circus, and second, why he left Clint (because, of course, no meta about Barney can exist without a section dedicated solely to Clint lmao).

As always, dedicated to @carcrash429, @hawkzeyes and a special dedication for @all-of-de-crack-ships (because thanks to them I got inspiration to write again <3)

TW: Mentions of child abuse, pedophilia [on unnamed teenage girl who was forced to take suggestive pictures; possible sex trafficking] and violence(?) [Jacques tried to kill Clint SO-]

1. Why did Barney leave the circus?

Before delving into the reasons, we first need to explore how his leaving was portrayed, in order to get the full picture.

Thankfully, there are not too many differences between runs, since everywhere, it's portrayed the same way: he left after Jacques tried to kill Clint.

Hawkeye 1983 doesn't mention much about Barney outside of these panels—Clint only talks about how he and his brother ran away to the circus, then about the accident and how Barn disappeared because "he had enough of a carny life". Other than that, not much is mentioned. This flashback is only supposed to show Clint's past in a nutshell, and it's clear that they didn't care about the reason why Barney left. They simply had to get rid of him from the circus to fit the storyline shown in Avenger 1969 (Barney was a member of the mob, so he had to leave the circus at some point), and that's it.

Then he's forgotten for six years, until Solo Avengers (1989), which gives him lines to speak and finally some depth to his decision to leave. Probably because they realized that the reason presented in 1983 wasn't enough and they needed more trauma for Clint. Unfortunately, this portrayal only raises more confusion.

Let's focus on this part:

"He was willing to split the receipts with you -- and you turned him down? We could have been on easy street... But you muffed it!"

So yeah, Barney didn't leave because he suddenly decided he didn't give a shit about the circus life. Oh no, no, now he left because Clint didn't agree to make a deal with Jacques about splitting the money. Which is an absurd reason to leave by the way, but since we were given such a stupid reason, we unfortunately have to deal with it.

The reader might think that Barney comes off as a huge asshole for focusing on money when his brother was almost killed. And, yeah, Barney is an asshole, but the situation is not as simple as it appears at first glance.

Being "on easy street" means living a comfortable life, free of worries—especially financial ones. It can also mean having financial independence and that you don’t have to struggle day-to-day just to make ends meet. If it was only about money, Barney would have phrased it differently, probably something like "we could be rich" or "we could make a fortune." But here, it’s clear he’s focused on having an easier life.

From this we can conclude that Barney did not see their life in the circus as a good or sustainable one—he wanted something more. It’s likely that he saw the money as an easy way out, a quick ticket to escape. Considering how easily Barney made the decision to leave, it’s clear that he had been contemplating this for some time. To delve deeper into this, we need to jump ahead a few years to the 2015 comic All-New Hawkeye.

From here, we learn that in their early years at the circus, Barney at first didn't want to leave. In fact, he was angry when Clint suggests going back to the orphanage after discovering the crimes happening at the circus.

"Go where Clint!? There is nowhere else!? "I don't know. I just-- I don't like it here anymore. Maybe we can just go back. "(...) This place is our home now, Clint."

If you've read my post about Barney's childhood, you may remember that their family and then the orphanage (and the foster home that was mentioned out of nowhere in All New Hawkeye) didn't treat them well. Their lives had full of violence, and the circus had promised them a respite—a place free from further abuse.

Despite being fully aware of the illegal and immoral activities taking place at the carnival, Barney decided that staying was the best option for both of them at this moment. Unlike returning to the orphanage as Clint wanted—where they would undoubtedly face an endless cycle of violence and remain trapped in the system—staying at the carnival at least offered some semblance of security.

Up until Clint almost getting killed by Jacques, they hadn't experienced any form of violence here (well, aside from Jacques and Trickshot's messed up behaviour while training Clint, but they'd never hit him [unless I forgot something]). Which was a huge improvement in their lives, which is also sad.

Beyond the thefts and the rough treatment that Clint got from his mentors, the circus did more immoral things. All-New Hawkeye presented us an unnamed teenager girl, who was implied to have been sexually abused —and she was only slightly older than Barney and Clint.

Based on the contents of the box—sexually suggestive photos and a camera—it can be inferred that Jacques was filming explicit material involving her for selling. This strongly suggests that she was a victim of sex trafficking.

Although we don’t know if other girls here suffered the same fate, it’s hard to not think that if Barney or Clint weren’t boys, they might have faced a similar thing.

It’s known that Carson required non-performing members to pay their "takes" no matter how— the big boss was even quite insistent that Clint should find other means of earning money than being a trick shooter.

Since the girl appears to have been in this situation since she was around Clint and Barney's age, I can’t help but think that if Clint had been a girl, Carson might’ve tried to force him to join her. But, of course, we’ll never know for sure—this is just my theory.

What’s also implied here is that Clint and Barney probably didn’t have any of their own money (and if they had, it was probably not much), as they probably had to give everything to Carson. This could explain why Barney was so frustrated with Clint after the incident. They were essentially trapped in the circus because they didn’t have enough money to leave.

Returning to Barney—despite wanting to stay here back then, we also know that he did not intend to bind his life with this place forever. Clint in Hawkeye (2003) mentions that Barney, since they joined the circus, tried to persuade him to return to education to have more options for the future.

Barney clearly took his education seriously, which we can see in his SAT score. I don't know a lot about SAT, but based on what I found on internet, 1350 is above average.

Working in the circus is tiring; often, members have to work from dawn till night. The fact that Barney was able to study and get a high score while working means that he had to be very determined to get his diploma. Thanks to this, we can conclude that he was also determined to leave.

Another small detail worth mentioning about Barney's reluctance to the circus is that, already in 1989 comic, we see hints that he was already aware of how Jacques was using Clint and didn't treat him well.

True, in that moment, Barney was definitely more focused on mocking Clint than genuinely worrying about him, especially with that grin on his face lol. But, honestly, it’s nothing new—Barney has always been an asshole, so it shouldn’t be a huge surprise.

Clint ignored Barney’s warnings about his mentor, too caught up in the excitement of finally having a male figure show interest in him (hello, Daddy Issues). As a result, he ignored his brother’s advice. Which wasn't the first or the last time he did.

In Hawkeye: Blindspot, we got another flashback of Clint’s accident—naturally, with events portrayed differently than in previous comics. And don’t worry, this won’t be the last time the story changes.

In this version, Barney doesn’t yell at Clint when he finds him but instead does so later at the hospital.

Here you can see that Barney that Jacques had been "ripped off" and that the money was rightfully his. Given that we’ve already established the brothers had little to no financial resources of their own, it seems like Barney is projecting some of his frustration about their money situation onto Jacques.

Despite his negative feelings toward Jacques in earlier comics, it’s clear there’s some lingering gratitude—after all, Jacques gave them a place to stay and didn’t abuse them like their father did (he had a very low bar, I guess). This might explain his statement: “After all he done for you!?”. That said, Barney’s words are messed up when you remember Jacques had just tried to kill Clint. Perhaps his words were made in the heat of the moment, since he's known for his anger issues. It’s worth noting that this flashback is from Hawkeye: Blindspot, the comic that introduced us to Barney as Trickshot. Sooo he wasn't exactly portrayed as the more sympathetic and less asshole older brother we saw in Hawkeye 2003.

Ultimately, Barney blames Clint entirely for what happened and yelled at him for not taking the money. After that, as in all other versions of the story, Barney leaves.

(We’ll delve into Barney’s last exchange in the second panel later.)

So, so far we have this picture: Barney and Clint escape from the orphanage/foster home and end up at the circus. They stay because it’s the safest option and offers a chance for a stable life, despite the crime and visible abuse of other members. However, Barney recognized that this life wasn’t ideal and that they deserve something better. He viewed the circus as a temporary solution, a means to survive for a while. That’s why, regardless of what might have happened— even if the incident with Jacques never occurred— it’s clear that Barney would have eventually left. However, it’s likely he stayed longer than he would want to because he was holding onto the hope that he could convince Clint to leave with him. But when Clint refused and "ruined" their chance at a better life (by rejecting the money), Barney decided to leave.

Finally, we can explore the real reason why Barney chose that moment to leave.

As I mentioned earlier, Clint’s accident was a major catalyst for Barney’s sudden decision. However, it’s only in Hawkeye (2003) that we get a bigger perspective on what happened.

Here’s where things get interesting: in this version, Barney doesn’t mention the money at all, and he’s not upset that Clint turned it down. Why the change? Well, we know that the earlier depictions of this incident came from Clint’s story to readers, while here, we get it as memories. Could it be that Barney's anger for money was just a lie, Clint's way to avoid explaining the real reasons behind his brother's leaving? Well, no. My theory is that the authors decided to remove the money thing because it conflicted with the "good older brother" image they wanted to create.

Everyone can interpret this differently and create their own version of canon. Personally, I like to imagine that Hawkeye (2003) portrays the true details of the accident, though perhaps Barney did mention that he should have taken the money. However, I don’t think it was as harsh as Clint remembers it. In both 2003 and 1983 [the first panel on the post if you already forgot], Barney was entirely focused on his brother, with money becoming a factor in 1986 and Blindspot. Clint almost died and was likely not thinking clearly. Hearing something so hurtful from his own brother after being so betrayed by his mentor probably had a lasting impact and made him remember it differently. But in 2003, Clint reflects more positively on Barney, influenced by his grief after Barney's 'death,' which might explain why the mention of money is absent.

By the way, an interesting detail is that Barney never refers to the circus as "family." Clint, Jacques, and the rest of the circus, at some point or another, all called it their family. But Barney? He never did. To him, it was simply a means to an end—something that paid off for both of them, but not something he ever considered a real family.

But let's go back to what ultimately drove Barney to leave for good. Take a good look at this exchange:

"You don't rat on your family, Barney. "No matter what?" "No matter what"

Barney had previously ignored everything going on in the circus. Carson's abuse of the employees? Not his concern. Thefts? Whatever. Clint's mentors treating him poorly? Well, their father was worse.

But this time? Clint had nearly died, and the circus was more concerned about protecting Jacques.

That was the breaking point.

"I'm leaving. I mean, this carnival thing is going nowhere for us - for me... I want a fresh start"

Remember the word "us"—it'll become important in the next part.

He realized he couldn't stay any longer. If he didn't leave now, he never will. So, of course, he chose to join the army— the quickest way to escape. Let’s also not forget that the military offers great benefits, including college tuition, and Barney had shown a desire to continue his education (you'll see it in another panel because the limit of pics wouldn't let me put it here too).

We already know the reasons behind Barney's decision. Now, the next question remains: why did he leave without Clint?

2. Why did Barney abandon Clint?

At first glance, it seems selfish and senseless for Barney to leave Clint behind, especially when it was Clint who almost died. So, why did Barney run away and leave him in such abusive place?

To understand it, we need to revisit the information we've gathered in the previous part.

Throughout Hawkeye (2003), Barney repeatedly told Clint that the circus shouldn't be his only option, that there were countless other possibilities for him. As mentioned earlier, Barney did want to leave, but he hoped to take Clint with him.

Personally, I believe this is one of the key reasons why he didn’t want his brother to get involved in the circus thefts

Yes, Barney did steal for the circus in the past, but he eventually stopped, likely because he found other ways to pay Carson, probably by taking on harder jobs. However, Clint's situation was different. If he started stealing, the chances of him ever getting out of it would be slim. He wouldn't be able to replace the money from thefts with anything else, as he'd already earned his keep as a performer too.

Did Clint agree with Barney’s view? As seen in earlier panels, no. He dismissed his brother's words, either rejecting them outright or protesting that he had no other choice—that staying in the circus was his only option because he felt he couldn't do anything else.

And finally, we reach the most crucial scene, which is the last piece of puzzle: the conversation between the brothers about Barney’s departure.

The first thing we notice is that, although Barney had planned his leave, he still tried to persuade Clint to come with him. However, Clint remained adamant in his decision.

And before I give you everything on a silver tray, we must get back to a certain thing. Do you remember the previous panel, where I asked you to remember:

"I'm leaving. I mean, this carnival thing is going nowhere for us - for me... I want a fresh start"

Let’s focus on the words “for us”.

He mentions them together first, and only then does he mention himself.

It may seem insignificant, but hear me out. I get the impression that Barney’s plan all along involved Clint coming with him. He didn’t anticipate that Clint might refuse, but he used subtle manipulation to try and get Clint to join him. He knew that his brother would likely resist if he were pressured directly or forced to leave. That’s why Barney framed it in a way that made him think it would be his decision to join, rather than Barney’s idea all along.

We can see it in:

"You can come with me" – This implies you can join me, but you don’t have to. It gives Clint the illusion of a choice, though in reality, he doesn’t really have one (which I’ll explain shortly).

"You'd pass on an opportunity like that?" – Clint hates feeling undermined and has a big ego. This line is meant to provoke him, making him feel that not seizing this opportunity would mean he's losing out. It subtly challenges him: Is this really all you’re willing to settle for?

"My bus leaves at nine AM" – He’s not talking about the bus in general; he’s talking about his bus. It’s still about making Clint understand that Barney is leaving for himself, not pressuring Clint to come along. If he decides to join, it’s because he chooses to, not because Barney is telling him to.

Before becoming Trickshot, Barney was portrayed as someone skilled at handling, smooth-talking, and manipulating people (I go into more detail about this in my post on his childhood). Given this, I firmly believe he was attempting manipulation here. But why did he think this would be the most effective way to force Clint? We need to look at their childhood memories:

Barney used the same method of manipulation when escaping from the orphanage, at least in Solo Avengers (1989).

"Barney finally had his fill — and decided to run away from the orphanage. I didn't want to go -- but he was my only family -- so I couldn't let him leave alone!"

Barney wanted to run away, and Clint saw joining him as the only logical choice—because, to him, Barney was his only option. The comics often show that he ALWAYS wanted to follow his brother. Even in All-New Hawkeye, when Clint wanted to leave but Barney didn’t, he chose not to go. He didn’t want to be alone.

"Where I go, Clint goes."

Given how Barney always looked after his brother (as I mentioned in my previous post), I highly doubt he planned to run away and leave Clint behind. When he left, he must have known Clint would follow. I know, I know—Hawkeye: Blindspot shows him convincing Clint, but comics often shift canon, and if we took everything as canon, we’d end up with conflicting stories. Besides, Barney didn't give him too much of choice here too.

"Now stop whining and just follow"

Let’s get back on track. Given all of this, it’s clear that Barney must have expected his brother to follow him. And, of course, he was right—but he didn’t realize it. By the time Clint arrived, the bus had already left.

We don’t know exactly what Barney was thinking, but to me, he seems resigned, maybe sad—like he's hurt by the fact that he had to leave Clint behind.

Now, we need to ask, why did he make that choice? Why didn’t he try to talk Clint into coming with him? It's simple. When he took care of his brother in the past, Clint was still a minor. By the time this story takes place, Clint was either an adult or close to it. Given that Barney was asking him to join the army with him, he was likely at least 17—unless Barney planned to forge documents (I remember seeing somewhere that Clint was probably 19, but I can't find it now).

Barney no longer had the obligation to care for his brother, especially since Clint was now making his own conscious decisions. And besides, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want your help.

If he didn’t want to join, Barn wouldn’t force him—Clint is capable of making his own decisions. Maybe this situation made Barney realize that his little brother was no longer a little kid who needed looking after.

In the earlier flashback from Hawkeye: Blindspot that I referenced, Barney wasn’t just angry at Clint for not taking the money—he was also upset because it was clear his brother wanted to stay. By refusing the money, Clint in his eyes was essentially choosing to remain in the circus instead of leaving for a chance at a better life.

In Hawkeye (2003), we don’t see the same kind of anger from Barney. Instead, there’s a sense of sadness and disappointment that Clint didn’t follow him. Maybe after Clint was discharged from the hospital, Barney had calmed down. That’s when he attempted to use subtle manipulation to make Clint to leave with him. However, when that effort failed, Barney made the decision to leave on his own.

Maybe he hoped his brother would eventually realize that staying here was a bad idea and leave on his own — and he was right, but not with leaving part. He probably didn't expect for Clint to think that he didn't had any other choice.

Another reason that I can see why Barney wanted to leave by his own was to find himself. I don’t see this as abandoning Clint, but rather as a moment when Barney finally wanted to do something for himself—for once, just for himself. In every early childhood memory Clint had, Barney was more of a guardian/parent than a brother and we know that he often felt overshadowed by Clint.

3. The summary

Kids, don't join the circus, even if your older brother said so.

Barney found himself in a complicated situation as a child—forced to care for his brother when he could barely take care of himself. He took Clint out of the orphanage, recognizing that it wasn’t the best place for them, but in doing so, he accidently put them in another abusive situation. Still, it was better than living on the streets or being in another violent household.

I believe that being separated was the best thing that ever happened to them. If Clint had followed Barney, he likely would never have joined the Avengers or found his true self. Similarly, Barney would never have discovered who he was outside of being an older brother. Admittedly, he didn’t want to leave his brother alone, but what choice did he have?

Putting this post together was tough, as Barney's character changed so much from comic to comic based on the type of trauma the authors wanted to give Clint lmao. But since Barn was caring during his childhood, I chose to follow that path in my interpretation. As always, I’m open to discussion, and remember, these are just my thoughts lol.

[suzukiblu]

I just wanted to say I think you're really cool in the way you defend your own boundaries while also trying to see the best in people (e.g. off-topic Wednesday asks / etc.). Like you make your ask box feel like it's okay to ask questions or not worry too much about how something might come off wierdly if it's read a certain way but also you don't let people walk over you, and that balance is a fucking skill which takes effort and work.

Thank you. 🧡 I definitely do go to a lot of effort to be clear about certain things I'm cool/not cool with while also assuming the best of people's intentions if I ever get comments or questions that are phrased poorly or seem . . . well, questionable, to make an unintentional pun there, haha. I just don't wanna start shit that doesn't need started or slather bad vibes all over some poor well-intentioned random soul who just doesn't have the most immediately up-to-date/informed language or certain experiences to inform their perspective, AND all over all of your dashes on top of that. Like, we were all confused about shit and awkwardly attempting to figure out what the magic question that would explain that shit to us was at SOME point in our lives, if nothing else. You gotta remember your internal stupid kid and how bad they wanted to figure shit out without having the tools for it!! You just gotta!!!!

Like, I literally did not realize gay and bi people were a thing until I was FOURTEEN, man, I just did NOT have that context/experience as a kid. And then, like, four months later I was . . . uhhhhh I'm pretty sure literally the first kid who was publicly out in my entire very tiny "quaint lil' small town full of well-off retirees with gorgeous lawns and literally nothing for a teenager to do outside of school" high school, and at least as far as I ever knew there wasn't another one until my friggin' senior year. And I didn't figure out what asexuality was OR my gender identity until I was in my thirties, despite actively TRYING to figure those out! I just didn't know! I didn't have the word for it for so long I didn't even GET it was a thing that should have a word!

Though to be honest, I really do get way, WAY more people worrying that they're overstepping and preemptively apologizing about it than I ever do people who are actually doing anything I'd personally consider to be overstepping, and I get even fewer people who are INTENTIONALLY overstepping on top of that. Like, I've been very lucky in the audience I've managed to snare/cultivate in my internet times, I very rarely encounter anyone coming into my inbox in bad faith. "Don't like/don't read" seems to be generally respected and I appreciate it, basically, hah.

Also, like, not to get too extra or serious here, but a lot of the reason I write fanfic is because it can contain a lot of things that standard publishing is less immediately open to releasing--like, especially back when I started, it was just NOT a thing to have explicitly queer kids in mega-popular mainstream YA series or all that much gender/racial/neuro diversity past, like, token presences that were at MOST only diversity-CODED half the time anyway and "didn't like labels". And like, that bugged me a LOT as a kid and as a young adult, and still kinda bugs me sometimes these days. I wanted, you know, that SEEN feeling, and I didn't want to only get it from hyper-niche genres/authors that were only writing about being queer and sad about it. I wanted that shit in my dang sci-fi and fantasy and all the FUN stuff, not just, you know, the tragedy-porn cautionary tales. So I want people who are reading my stuff to feel that way, even and ESPECIALLY when they're some totally different flavor of whatever we are from me, and so I REALLY try to be inclusive and welcoming and assume the best of people, at least to the best of my ability.

. . . okay I got kinda carried away with this answer, maybe, haha, but tl;dr: literally everyone has got enough bullshit going on in their lives, I can at least be nice about weird kinks and random gender/mental/physical/???? issues that I don't always necessarily understand the full nuances of on the internet.

[taxes-evasion]

OMG HIII im so excited for a creepypasta writer :3 may i please request you write for hoodie nd masky, reader also being a proxy!!!! it could be general hcs or whatevs, up to you!! if you dont want to do this req, its ok, if u want me to req smthn else u can always pm me

HIII and thank you so much! I hope I complied with your request (sorry if I didn't).

Characters included: Reader (as proxy), Slenderman (named sometimes as Boss), Masky and Hoodie + mention of other proxies.

Small Warnings: mention of kidnapping, mention of dizziness, actions of light bullying, mention of broken bones, deep cuts, bruises, killing and curse words. Proxies are not kind toward newbie at all :(

⚠️Writer's Notices⚠️: I think I expanded the request without intending to? I'm not sure about that. I just like to give a lot of informations about the characters, so I also put a very light backstory of the Reader. I hope this doesn't bother you and, of course, if you wish, you can skip everything and go to the part that interests you the most. I'm not judging. Please enjoy!

𝑀𝐴𝑆𝐾𝑌 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐻𝑂𝑂𝐷𝐼𝐸 𝑊𝐼𝑇𝐻 𝐴 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝑋𝑌 𝑅𝐸𝐴𝐷𝐸𝑅

HOW DID YOU BECOME A PROXY?

You are probably in contact with kids/young adults who saw Slenderman;

Maybe a babysitter or a psychiatrist;

The fact is that you will never encounter proxies initially;

It is very important for Slenderman to decide for himself his servants;

Toby had once brought a girl into the mansion unbeknownst to Boss... Let's say she stayed for a short time;

Of course, Toby doesn't remember her anymore;

One day someone tells you about this strange, tall and thin man who appears in their dreams and in the woods;

However, one day you were normally on your way home when you started to feel dizzy;

And... surprise! Shortly afterwards you were in a dark office without any kind of light, forced to listen to a faceless man;

You don't remember much about how you get there but your attention, of course, is not centered on that small detail;

BUT WHY WERE YOU RECRUITED BY SLENDERMAN?

Most likely because you have a very good intellect and you reason efficiently;

The Big Boss really needs proxies like that;

Not an athletic person? DON'T WORRY! Slenderman already knows everything about you and what type of training you need, he already comes up with a training program just for you!

(Be grateful and don't try to run away, this tired old man ain't got no time to come and haunt you) :(

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

One surprise after another, apparently! (actually, you could easily imagine what is about to happen);

You are entrusted to some proxies who will take you under their "protective" wing;

These proxies are: Masky, Hoodie, and Toby!

But mainly Masky and Hoodie since they are the only ones who have actually done any training when they arrived at the mansion;

Toby isn't very present because he doesn't care much and would still struggle to have an initial relationship given his Antisocial Personality Disorder;

But don't worry! He'll get used to you soon!

HOW DO MASKY AND HOODIE BEHAVE TOWARDS YOU?

They are slightly heartless bitches :(

(they're actually "somehow" nice to you but not too much);

I mean they would help you with training but make fun of you whenever they can;

This mainly Masky;

Hoodie simply giggles meanly and nods;

DON'T LET THESE "INSTRUCTORS" OF YOURS FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE SENSITIVE OR THAT YOU CRY EASILY!

(This is honestly me);

I say this for your own good, really;

If Masky notices a sniffling or shining eyes from tears that would like to fall... you will find out what hell is;

You will no longer know what dignity is...

"Awwww, don't tell me our little newbie is going to cry, right?" it may be the phrase you'll hear the most;

Masky will basically yell it in the presence of ALL the residents of the mansion just to give you a reason to cry more;

"Come on Masky, can't you see that the frail little thing here is shaking? Give them some personal space."

Another reality revealed, but this time it's Hoodie's fault;

He probably won't yell it like Masky, but he'll still say it in a higher-than-average tone of voice;

BUT WHAT IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY VERY BADASS?

If they notice that you are actually very neutral and don't care about their nasty comments, they will simply stop;

After all, it's no fun if there are no reactions;

Basically, they will just give you the advice you need to improve;

However, you may also have a short fuse!

Maybe you shouldn't point it out, you might unintentionally push yourself further, and since Masky also has a short fuse, you could start a fight with him;

If there's Hoodie nearby he'll stop Masky before killing you (but you'll have some deep cuts, bruises and, at worst, broken bones);

However, in the absence of Hoodie/other proxies, you will be killed without much scruples;

Butttt... consider yourself lucky because usually Hoodie and Masky are together all the time, either for tasks and because they have established a good relationship and don't spend much time with the other residents;

Above all they are good instructors;

They know when you've reached your limit and will stop you if they see you're going too far;

They will give you advice and plan a diet if they see that it is necessary;

It could have been worse, couldn't it?

WHAT DO THEY LOOK LIKE DURING TRAINING?

As said before, they would certainly help you a lot;

Both with advice and by encouraging you to keep going;

(they will become more and more familiar with this as time goes on);

However, I like to imagine that Hoodie does the exercises with you, both to keep fit and to be an example for you;

Masky observes the two of you, smoking his cigarettes;

In some cases he will join you;

(he made a bet on who does the most running laps with Hoodie);

"You know, Y/N, Masky has never been able to beat me in a running challenge", Hoodie usually makes fun of Masky;

"For fuck's sake, just shut up!" and Masky responds in a bad way;

While they may seem quite calm while training you, don't forget that they are professional assassins;

You don't really want to see them when they have to torture/kill someone;

But one day, for sure, you're going to see that because, ops!, from now on you are a proxy;

Good luck with that!

Okay, that's all about our two favorite proxies!

I really have to write headcanons about their backstories because I've honestly always wanted to do that.

I hope you enjoyed this!

♡

[maryshinonome]

HeadCanons with TakeKaya and kids from Zero Squad as a family

While I’m writing a fanfic about them, I’d like to share some headcanons, on which I’ll be basing the plot in the future

Warning : in text there are mentions of slight sexual content and Interrupted pregnancy

The five of them live in the suburbs of Tokyo to be further away from the city bustle and start living a quiet life. Take’s grandparents live nearby, who treat children as their grandchildren, whom they don’t always understand, but love them. They also know that Kaya is a ghoul, but they absolutely do not pay attention to it because for them she is a good and kind woman.

To adopt Yusa, Shio and Rikai, Take and Kaya had to get married urgently, despite the fact that they were not in a relationship so long and didn’t plan to register their marriage so quickly, but this didn’t prevent them from further developing their relationship and building a joint family.

Yusa perceives Irimi as an “elder” whom he tries to listen to, Rikai sees her more as a friend or sister who can help and explain some things that a young girl should know. Only Shio almost perceives her as a mother, to whom he can come for warmth and hugs and tell anything. He is her sweetie child.

All three go to a regular school, but study in different classes, which makes Irimi and Hirako worry. During breaks, they often text them to make sure that everything is fine with them. Shio always tells everything with vivid details, Rikai more moderately and honest, and Yusa uses the usual “I’m okey”, which often causes them even more excitement.

Shio managed to adapt best at school, where he was able to find new friends and had the opportunity to have fun like normal children. Of course, sometimes strange phrases and terms can be heard from his mouth that only CCG investigators know, but he tries to control everything he says as much as possible with his character.

Rikai was not so easy, rather she was very neutral and unemotional, she concentrated on her studies and school lessons, although all the information was absorbed by her too easily and quickly. Over time, she was able to find one friend with whom she became much softer, and gradually learn about the world away from Sunlit Gardens

Yusa is the most difficult to adapt. He is not too emotional and not verbose, which is why he cannot find friends. He is one of those who doe fully understand why he needs to go to school when he can perceive information so easily. In general, it seems to him that he could be more useful in TSC than in the suburbs of Tokyo, where he just lives an ordinary quiet life, which children in difficult situations deserve much more.

As at the end of the manga, Take went to work in a funeral home, while Kaya decided to fulfill her dream and go to university (I think she could become a good writer), sometimes she works part-time in a coffee shop opened by Touka and Kaneki.

All three receive benefits as former CCG workers and as children from Sunlit Gardens (Thanks to this, Take didn’t have to go to a second job)

Although Take and Kaya’s relationship is not so long, they are quite hot to each other. Of course, due to the presence of children, they often have to keep control over themselves or try to make love very quietly and without unnecessary rustles (due to their busy schedule and fatigue, they don’t always have time and desire for this). For them, a big breath of air is the moments when Kaneki’s family offers to take them somewhere to have fun with them to give them the opportunity to relax and spend a good time together, or when all three go to school, and Kaya’s schedule sometimes allows them to spend the morning together, during which they can no longer control themselves

Despite the appearance of children from the zero squad in their lives, Take and Kaya would also like their own children. They had a lot of attempts, but they all ended in miscarriages. Kids didn’t know about it and in general about Kaya’s pregnancy either, because they decided not to tell them until they were completely convinced that the child could survive.

Kaya often had to cope with this pain herself and try to pretend that everything was fine so as not to disturb anyone. Only Take could see what was on her mind and he was the only one who could see her crying and sorrowing that she would not be able to become a full-fledged mother. He always tries to put her to rest and make it clear that she is a good mother for children who didn’t have a good childhood. She really values them as her own

[narrators-journal]

I saw the one you did where dr. Stone character react to reader having a crush on Xeno, can you do one for Ukyo? And maybe how he feel about being confessed to?

This bitch gave me such a hassle LOL. Ukyo’s kinda one of my faves in the show, and I’m no stranger to writing him, but man was I flip-flopping HARD on these. I decided to go for a more awkward take on him, though! Which made these honestly kind of wholesome, but I hope he’s not out of character as a result :/ Hope you enjoy regardless though!

A CRUSH ON XENO

Ukyo’s teal-colored eyes danced with a myriad of feelings as he studied the note you’d slid to him. Which, didn’t make your anxiety and guilt ebb even a little bit. You’d already handed over the confession of your crush on Xeno, though. So it was far too late to just not tell the sonar expert. So, you just sat with your hands clenched together in your lap and watched his expression for a clue on how he’d react. Until, finally, “I...admittedly don’t know what to say to that. When you mentioned you had an embarrassing crush, I was imagining it’d be on Senku, or Ginro.” He hummed as he handed you back the slip of paper. Though, when he saw you nearly melt into a puddle of shame, he did at least add, “Though! It’s not that I can’t see whyyou might like him? I mean, plenty of women back in the modern era read dark romances, and he’s sort of like one of those male leads, right? All snobby, cold, scarily smart. Plus, considering he’s only really friends with Stan, he fits the whole ‘only nice to you’ archetype very well, so there’s no shame in you liking him.”

And, Ukyo did have a point. When you phrased Xeno like that, it became a lot less shameful to find him attractive. After all, if he had been the model for a mad scientist romance story, he’d be a fan favorite, right? Which, eased your guilt as you nodded. “I suppose you’re right. Though, um, if you could maybe not…” Ukyo put a hand up, a slightly awkward smile on his face, “Oh don’t worry, I’m not telling anyone about that. If Dr. Xeno or Ryusui found out, they’d be insufferable.” He said, which made you smile as well before you got to your feet. The paper crumpled up and stuffed into your pocket to be lobbed over the side of the ship as soon as you were on deck.

A CRUSH ON HIM

The deer-in-headlights look Ukyo Saioniji gave you was a humiliating reaction to your confession that made you deeply regret you hadn’t been up so long. Maybe if you’d gone to bed earlier, hadn’t stayed up to hone your blueprints, and hadn’t begun to ramble given the smallest opportunity, maybe your crush on the quiet sonar expert hadn’t slipped out of your non-existent filter. Then, you wouldn’t be in the world’s worst staring contest with the man as both of you waited for the other to break the tension. “I-I’m so sorry...that was weird to admit…” You finally said, your eyes torn away from the man and back to the blueprint sprawled across the table in front of you. “O-oh, no! You don’t need to apologize!” Ukyo assured, his face the color of Ryusui’s coat when you looked back at him, “I’m so sorry I froze like that I-I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, you just t-took me off guard.” He tried to explain without a horrible trainwreck of words being thrown at you. “I didn’t really expect anyone to notice me that much, is all. I’m usually down with the sonar station, I don’t socialize too much, and compared to Senku, Ryusui, Tsukasa, and Chrome, I don’t offer much as a general. S-so you saying you found me hot kinda shocked me. N-not that I’m offended!”

The awkward babble almost made a laugh bubble up, but you swallowed it for the time being. “So, um...do you think that maybe we could...test things out?” You asked, and that made the red-faced man think for a moment. “I don’t see why not. Though, it’s not like we have a coffee shop to go to,” and that broke your restraint and got a small laugh. Which, thankfully seemed to ease the tension so the two of you could properly discuss an attempt at a date.

[kotelok16]

Hii so I’m new here and haven’t touched danganronpa in years, so I’m just curious as to what got you into komamiki? My mind is blown whenever I see a ship that’s not implied in canon, so seeing your art was like woah!!!! And I just like getting people to infodump about stuff they love 💕

Thanks a lot for the question, anon! This is gonna be a long post, be prepared

In fact, I remember very poorly the moment when I got involved in this pairing. As I understand it, I saw one piece of art and just fell in love with this couple? That is, my brain clicked and was like, "Listen, I like it, there's something in this!"

If you still asking "why" I liked this pairing, then the main reason is an interesting dynamic. Yes, yes, komamiki haters, I know about the ending of the third trial and that these two "hate each other" (as they usually write). But... Isn't there a special charm in this? Has the path from hate to love stopped being a thing? I mean, at the end of the trial, it was shown how well Mikan caught Nagito's weakness. She could have left him speechless with a precise phrase. She understood Nagito.

Isn't there some spice in the fact that you are best understood by the person you dislike now? And everyone you admire didn't even try to understand you?? (yes, Hajime tried in free-time events. I know, I don't deny it. Just for now we are talking about the main plot).

Of course, I can think too much like any other fan of any other pairing. But this dynamic is driving me crazy!

It gives me pleasure to reflect on how difficult it would be for komamiki to restore a neutral relationship to begin with after the events of the game. And it's going to be difficult, as it's going to be difficult for all the killers and victims to talk about what happened, you know? And the difficulties are ✨interesting✨.

What I also like about komamiki is that they are two broken people who can understand each other. They both need psychological (and not only) help, okay?? But in this path of recovery, they can become each other's support.

Mikan is emotional, reads the general atmosphere and someone else's mood very easily, worries a lot. Nagito is actually more detached and calm (unless we're talking about hope-). He knows how to show the emotions needed at the moment, but he does not always read the general atmosphere (and does not always consider it necessary, he is on his own mind). In total, we have two broken people, one is very emotional and reads people well, and the second is calm, which adjusts to the mood of people. And both have low self-esteem and are very, let's call it, helpful. "I will do anything, just don't hate me!" and "I will do everything to become your stepping stone to hope!"

At the same time, they can learn a lot from each other and take care of each other. Mikan, of course, as a nurse. I like to think too much that she put all her strength into Nagito's life after him waking up from the New World Program. Komaeda, in turn, is sharp-tongued, and can protect his emotional girlfriend from unwanted comments verbally. He also knows how to express admiration, I think such words won't hurt Mikan. Tsumiki can also express in words and actions the importance of Nagito's life to her. Uh, a mutual aid circle??

Will such a relationship be difficult? OF COURSE, absolutely. But do you really think that any relationship does not involve difficulties? Including healthy relationships, which are being talked about a lot now? Like, guys, psychologists identify the crisis stages that ANY married couple goes through. The question is not what kind of problems are in the relationship, but how they will be solved. But I got off the subject.

If I think again about the post-canon, then I am hooked by the idea that the Class 77 will become the world's enemy. Not without reason, let's be honest. But, you see, there is no one left in their world who would accept them, except classmates (no, Makoto, don't look at me like that-). "In this world, we only have each other." Isn't this a bit dramatic, tragic and romantic?! (tragic for the most part, but we love it here)

Uh, I think this post is already quite long, it's worth taking stock. I love komamiki, I see an interesting, complex dynamic between them. Most of the time I draw them cute, gentle, romantic, well, because I like to draw them like that. I'm interested in thinking about their relationship, but drawing all sorts of cute things gives me peace of mind. Thanks again for the question, anon! It's always a joy to talk about your favorite couple^^

[hpowellsmith]

Hi Harris. How do you deal with negative reviews or comments? I have just started but I'm scared, I take such things so personally.

I'm sorry to hear you're anxious about this, but I totally understand and relate, and I'm sure every other writer does too so you're very much not alone!

I try not to seek out negative reviews and commentary, especially when I've only just released a game. Just after launch is the time when I feel most worried and vulnerable and it's also the time when I can't do much about it. Earlier, and I can make decisions about whether I want to take it into account for that game. Later, when making something new, I can think about whether I want to consider it for the next project. But that time when I'm the most stressed is also the least useful!

One category of commentary, I'm very comfortable ignoring wholesale. People have sent me, or I've seen, comments about my games that are sexist, racist, homophobic, acephobic, transphobic... I'm happy throwing it in the trash without another thought.

Sometimes, negative commentary boils down to "I wanted this to be a different game" or "why did this character not behave in a way I think would be better" or similar. Sometimes this can be helpful information (eg a character suddenly being flippant and humorous feeling out of place with their dour personality), but sometimes I just need to shrug and go "what can you do?" because sometimes expectations don't match up.

Some negative commentary can be learned from. That one can be more complicated because people don't always phrase that politely, the way that my lovely playtesters do! But it can have a grain or more of truth. So I sometimes need to wait a couple of hours for my defensiveness to fade and then swallow my pride and revisit it with a fresh mind.

With more experience, I've also gained a better sense of what people may not like. These days, it feels clearer when making decisions about going ahead - or not - with something I think people won't like, or something I've had negative feedback about. So, if people don't like an element in one of my games, it generally comes as less of a surprise, and is therefore less stressful.

As I've made more projects, I still get nervous - like I say, everyone does. But I've become more used to sifting through to find what's useful within negative reviews, commentary, and feedback and not bothering with the rest.

I hope some of that is helpful! I know it's hard not to take things personally; I've done so myself before, and I know how you feel. But I hope you do keep writing.

[d-z20]

poppin' in to say I absolutely adore your writing, it's just candy for the brain I swear.

i'm new to writing smut and was wondering if you have any tips? (Sorry if this weird T-T) but you just write everything so well and it's all amazing.

Thank you for popping in it’s started my day off on such a good note :D so happy to be providing the brain candy for you <3

Don’t worry it’s not weird at all sweetheart :)) The most important thing for writing smut is to keep practicing and have fun with it 😌

I’m aware that’s not super helpful or actual tips so I’ve gone into (a lot) more detail below the cut—hopefully some of it is helpful for you and let me know how the smut writing goes I’d love to read it <3

An easy one is if you have experience/fantasies think about them in more detail and how you would put it down on paper. I’m not saying you are only able to write about what you know but it’s a good starting place for being able to effectively write smut

A pretty basic tip that most people will say is “show don’t tell” and that just means imply things—instead of “they were turned on” try a “their body felt alight, every sense heightened to character’s touch” it adds a bit of variability to your work could also be as simple as stating a physical reaction to be horny e.g. pants tenting/tightening, heat flushing cheeks/chest, or breathing becoming heavy

It’s not necessary to plan the entire scene before you start. I often will write a bit and then just see where I feel it should go (much like having actual sex). Being too rigid with a structure can make a fic feel stiff (hehe) and clunky to a reader so think of one or two things you want to include and then go with the flow

This one is specific to x reader but avoid using specific personal descriptors it’s easy enough when avoiding eye and skin colour (this includes descriptions like porcelain/milky/creamy), don’t mention hair colour or texture. It’s easy to forget but unless a character is super tall or short not everyone will be shorter/taller than them so try and minimise ‘looking up/down’ phrases unless positioned in a way that it’s reasonable (such as one character sitting and the other standing). If a description is central to the story e.g. reader is a bodyguard and therefore it’s likely they’ll need be strong/physical then remember to put it in the tags/warnings as something like beefy!reader etc

Here are some general things to consider when writing smut:

Background: make sure readers know the general gist of things before leaping into it. Enemies? Established relationship? Strangers? Hate sex? Making love? This can impact a scene massively and it’s important to get the reader in the right frame of mind before continuing

Foreplay: listen I know we all want to get to the part where they’re fucking but it can feel rushed if you don’t provide at least some build up to the sex. It’s needed both for the characters and whomever is reading. Your fic is a journey, taking us through the steps will make the resolution (the smut) so much better. It is possible to have a fic start in the middle of sex for dramatic effect but it is very hard to do effectively without feeling like a horny slap in the face when reading (multi-chapter fics can be an exception to this)

Physicality: masturbation/sex is very physical so it’s important to not only convey what’s happening but also how it’s happening. ie what’s involved in the scene because “they thrust in” can be imagined in so many ways—fingering? fucking with a dick/strap? fisting? Also where is the thing being thrusted in?

Positioning: think about how the body/bodies are positioned—is it actually possible? What can realistically be done in that position? (if someone’s fully sat on another’s lap it’s unlikely they can kiss their stomach without some freaky contortion) How can you describe it in a way that’s not jarring to the reader? (sometimes I’ll do a sketch to see if it’s plausible and to help me visualise it). If you need ideas don’t be afraid to look up sex positions and think about if you can see your character(s) doing it

Dialogue: talking is good! Great even! But too much can really drag on and disconnect you from the story so keep it short and try to weave it in throughout rather than large chunks of it—even a ‘talking through masturbation/sex’ should be broken up by descriptions of actions

Senses: you don’t need to cover all of them but utilise multiple senses.

SIGHT What does the scene look like and what can be seen? The look on someone’s face/in their eyes, reflections, shadows, and marks on the body are all very helpful to get a basic visualisation going in someone’s head. But on top of that consider what the character(s) are seeing; the closer they are to something the more of their view is taken up by it, think about perspective for what could actually be seen in different positions. For even more fun maybe think about what can’t be seen by one of the characters, maybe they’re blindfolded/have their view obstructed/a character is doing something behind their back, this way a reader gets an idea while keeping the characters unaware.

TOUCH What can be felt/how does it feel? Tongues, fingers, clits, dicks and other body parts experience touch in different ways, think about textures is it a pleasant feeling or maybe it’s rougher? Is it tight/constricting or free? Is it supposed to feel that way? E.g. restraints this is my own personal gripe here but a vagina should not always feel tight during sex. The body naturally relaxes and gets a bit looser/larger when you get aroused so if it’s “so tight” then they’re not turned on enough 💀. Of course larger things being inserted will feel tighter but not everything has got a girth of 8+ inches and will therefore fit in most aroused vaginas in a comfortably full/good way (we’re not talking chucking a banana down a hallway loose, just not “so fucking tight *insert fuckboy lip bite*” obviously this excludes medical conditions that make things tighter).

HEARING What sounds are being made? Vocalisation/body sounds (sex is NOT a dry activity/furniture moving (the creaky bed hitting the wall is a very real scenario 😂) is there a reason they’d be trying to be quiet? Or have they got full reign to scream as they orgasm?

TASTE What can the characters taste? You’d be surprised how many tastes there are in sex, what the characters have been drinking/smoking may linger in their mouth/lips, flavoured lubes, sweat, cum (obviously), arousal (did you know it’ll taste different depending on where in their cycle a person is?), anything shoved in a characters mouth could be tasted.

SMELL What could be smelt? Everyone’s got a certain scent to them (it’s why it’s so nice to steal a significant others clothes imo) their perfume/cologne could linger somewhere, it will also fade and change slightly from when it’s first applied. Beyond actual smells like sweet/bad/specific scents but things can smell like home or comforting so this sense can be utilised to make a piece more emotive

There’s probably more but I’ve already written a lot and it covers the general things I think about when writing :)) hope it helps you anon!!!

[starlightbelle]

8, 17, & 30 for the fic writer ask!!

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...

Of the ones I've shared, probably Here's to Not Being in Love. Zoro/Nami's dynamic is so fun to write; I left it open-ended for a reason, because I imagine I'll probably write more for them at some point. I don't have a sequel in the works yet, but if a compelling enough plot bunny should surface in my brain, I'm sure it'll insist upon being written. 😆

Ahhh I nearly forgot!! I intend to write a continuation of A Crisis of Confidence! Isuka doesn't get much appreciation among One Piece fans but I like her and I want to explore her relationships with other members of the Revolutionary Army. I've already penned her interacting with Dragon, so I think next on the docket would be something opposite Sabo. Both pre- and post-Marineford. I expect the latter will be very angsty, and I can't wait to explore it.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

✨The stars align. An idea strikes, either seemingly out of the blue, while discussing characters with my friends, or after hearing a line in a movie/song that hits just right.

Generally I jot down as much as I possibly can (if I'm at work or something I'll loop the idea/scene/dialogue in my head until I have a free moment to type down as much as I remember), key points or words to jog my memory later. I do often have a line or two that I know exactly how I want written. There are no shortcuts or abbreviations of those, I have to write the line out entirely.

After that, once I have a block of time I can more fully devote to writing I fill in the blanks. Whatever flows, whatever works. I am kinda an edit-as-I-go type of writer, though normally at this stage just finding a synonym for a word that works better or fixing the phrasing of a sentence.

If a particular scene is giving me trouble, the draft will remain a cocktail of disconnected snippets (sometimes in the wrong order) until I have a breakthrough with the gaps.

Once the story is penned, I read through it. Usually this stems from a desire to have the manuscript look tidy and neat and complete in my notes app. Along the way I'll make little changes, fix any errors I find, rearrange paragraphs if needed, etc.

After that, I reread it an absurd amount of times. This is motivated by pure enjoyment. I am my target audience so I like reading what I write. 😊 It just so happens that that's how editing works, too. Win-win.

If I'm sending it to a friend, or preparing to share it, I'll give it another pass or two (or three). Normally I don't have much to correct at this point.

I also will reread it again after I've shared a piece to make sure the formatting works, everything flows, etc.

Yep. That about sums it up. 😅 It isn't really a conscious checklist I go thru, just kinda how it ends up working out.

30. share a fic you're especially proud of

I'm proud of all my works! 😁 But one I haven't seen get much love is my seventh Corazon Week piece. Although I believe one of those three kudos is yours already lol.

It doesn't have any relationship tags, which I suspect might be the reason it's not showing up on Cora fans' radar, because the pov character is left intentionally ambiguous. It was an artistic decision I knew might keep it out of search results, and I debated using multiple relationship tags instead to cover all bases but I worried that might come across as baiting so I left it without. I may change it though if I get feedback on that.

Thanks so much for asking! I know my answers tend to get a little rambly, so thanks for your interest! This one was a bit like a behind-the-scenes feature on a DVD! (Prompt list)

[redgearsmovin]

ohh i found some notes i wrote of really cute scenarios with the movers+nina. they are mostly made with my sona in mind but it's kinda general enough so if it inspires you in any way, feel free to take these ideas away lol.

under the cut because it is pretty long:

Smitty:

smitty shows you pictures of your favourite animal while he infodumps to you about it.

- or maybe you infodump while he listens intently. After a while you realise you've been rambling and get self-conscious that he probably had known those things, but he encourages you and tells you he wants to learn more so he can write it in his journal so you happily continue.

Rich

you and rich colouring! or you and rich painting. or making origami !!!

- his work turns out really nice while you think yours is a little wonky, but the way he cheers for it just as excitedly and points out little details he likes in your work makes you appreciate it more.

He rolls out a mahjong paper (not sure what this is known as) on the floor and you two doodle on it with crayons and such. this can also be a whole group activity tbh.

or sports! rich teaching you how to sports lol guiding you and being really patient till you get the hang of it.

Scott

Scott and you introducing each other's plushies and playing out scenarios with them, dressing up and such!

watching your favourite shows together, or making sock puppets !!

- Sometimes it's a little hard for you to be spontaneous when acting out which makes you feel like you're not a fun person to play with, but Scott knows just how to bounce off your ideas and make it really exciting. he makes you feel more comfortable to simply not worry too much when having fun.

Dave

you helping out dave with his invention? you and dave trying out weird pizza recipes? maybe dave teaching you how to make simple circuits and electronic things. Maybe all Dave needed to make working inventions was another person to audit and check his machine after he had finished them, to fill in the gaps and blind spots that he missed lol.

- you think you're not helping at all and only slowing him down with the mistakes you made, but Dave assures you've been a big help and tells you the things he wouldn't have noticed without you. He suggests dividing the task to something you're good at while he does the other work, and your both work together really well.

I think Dave would enjoy puzzles (unsure if he does in canon) so you and him trying to solve various of those either like puzzle boxes set or completing jigsaw puzzles. Or maybe trying out an escape room together (in the warehouse?).

Nina

NINAAAA. you and nina cooking. nina trimming your hair or fixing it up. you and nina trying on clothes and outfits.

nina taking pictures of you while you be an impromptu(?) model for her after she finishes doing your hair. maybe she had a short gig as a hairdresser(?) and wanted to include pictures of her work as samples.

going to the beach with nina, playing kite, Nina excitedly showing you videos of Boris and Oksana's ballet performances, going karaoke, making flower crowns,

Teaching each other phrases in your native language, or maybe even learn one another's language while practicing with them.

Try each other's favourite local cuisine. Styling one in the other's cultural outfits.

Sometimes you just feel like you take too much of Nina's time and wonder why she even chooses to hang out with you when she has so many cool friends. You never let her know this thought. one night when you and Nina were both stargazing, Nina says that moments like these are her favourite and she's glad to spend it with you. You admit the same and go on about how grateful you are for her. You don't think you deserve this blessing, but Nina stops you, telling you how she'd choose to do this all over again with you in a heartbeat. And aah I stop here this is getting so emotional lol

[pyroreadscomics]

What are your thoughts about Howard's Catwoman run?

The run being really gay doesn't save the writing from being really mediocre.

(More nuance below the cut)

Well that was snappy, unfortunately my thoughts are many and complicated and probably won't be entirely ironed out until a few months after she leaves the book or I reread the run again, or both. That phrase was something I said while reading through the series for the first time a some months ago that I still mostly stand by, but now feel the need to caveat and add nuance.

(Also, it feels weird that, because I put off answering this for months, the end of Howard’s run is just a few months away now, but I’m just going to assume the ending is neither so good it retroactively makes everything better or so bad it tanks the run with guilt by association)

When I say mediocre, I very specifically don't mean bad. I'm using mediocre to mean it's average, ordinary, of moderate quality. Not bad enough to hate, or even particularly dislike, but not good enough for me to shed a tear if it was suddenly canceled (which… seeing as it’s end is now on the horizon… I’m actually filled with anticipation as to what comes next.)

And like many multi-year runs, Howard's Catwoman has had it's ups and downs while it's low points are i think widely known: Her dialogue tends towards what i can only describe as AO3 generic, the plotting itself is sub-par, Gotham War disappointing even though there was no way to go into it with high expectations (joint effort i know, but even taking only half blame for it Tini Howard doesn't come out of that event looking remotely well), and I have an entire rant ready for how I dislike how Black Mask is used in that series.

1. The reintroduction of Eiko

But, that said, at this moment I do feel like calling out some highlights of Howard's run (or at least, the bits of it I really liked.)

Also yes, alot of this could be considered fanservice, but I’m at least acknowledging that things that make me happy don’t inherently make a run good. (but at least more enjoyable to slog through than Tom King’s batman or most of her New 52 stuff)

Okay, let me be clear, Eiko in this run is a shadow of her debut in Valentine's run but Selina's supporting cast has a worrying tendency to disappear without a trace after one, max two runs, so damn if it wasn't nice to see Eiko suddenly reappear in a major role in the Catwoman run after a 6 year absence and not have her confined to the dustbin of comic history alongside other Catwoman supporting cast members such as Gwen, Alice, Zee, Clutterbuck, Wilder, Arizona, and Cassandra Cartland (If you knew every single person i mentioned without having to check, I like you, and you like me also know too much about Catwoman)

If nothing else, if Eiko's appearances in this comic, and her guest appearances in other current Gotham stories (like Punchline: Gotham Game or Ram V's excellent Gotham Nocturne) manage to cement her as a persistent part of Catwoman's cast, this run will have done enough for me to earn a passing grade.

Also I like Eiko's new catsuit and not just because it makes it easier to tell her apart from Selina

2. Catwoman #43 & #44 (The Harley Quinn two parter)

Judging by the mood in the room, If anything gets me an angry response it's going to be this.

It's fun, it was a fun two parter, and honestly there are times when I wish more writers would stop trying to do the high drama stories they're kinda bad and instead write fun inconsequential side stories.

Also yes I do ship it. What of it?

Actually speaking of

3. The queerness.

It’s not a lot, but for a character who’s been out as bi since 2015 Selina is never written that way (at least in the main comics, I understand the HQ show and the recent movies have either explicitly or implicitly had bi Selina). Like it’s so bad Selina doesn’t even get pride tie in stuff, no appearances in the pride anthologies or even pride variant cover. JFC Nightwing gets one every year and last time i checked he was still canonical cishet. And… a bit like Eiko, but less important, it’s nice to have another run where Catwoman is canonically queer. Selina acknowledging Eiko as an ex, flirting with other women, that Selina and Harley sharing a bed scene. It’s just nice to have that part of Selina’s character acknowledged.

Also it’s so minor but the gay bar called Conroy’s got me just a bit.

4. Knight Terrors

On balance, despite me having criticisms of it, I did like it as a version of “What does Selina’s worst nightmares look like”. It’s not quite as good as Devin Grayson’s take on the matter (and ain’t that a sentence) but I’m a big fan of Selina’s mind dark fears conjuring force a lot of catholic imagery and doing something actually interesting with the Sister Zero concept. (It’s really just a shame that this story is clearly setting something up for Gotham War that never actually gets paid off, which is wild considering that was literally the month after Knight Terrors)

Lastly:

5. Valmont

Look, I really liked Valmont for two reasons, one of which is superficial, one of which actually had thought put into it.

Superficially: Selina deserves a whipped subby bisexual twink, as treat. Sure he's a cocky asshole, sure he looks like pirate au ghostmaker, sure he's ready to murder anyone who looks like a threat to his dom love (and honestly anyone in general), but honestly that's all part of the charm.

Because Bruce, as the whole wedding thing shows, is big on these concrete declarations of affection, even as he’s really bad at actually expressing his affection in more casual ways. And Eiko, as she says, is “comfortable with these declarations, names. Things like titles and vows.” So in dating either of them Selina would be consenting being put into a box and labeled, even if it's a box as unconstrained as “dating” and a label as loose as “girlfriend”.

But, putting a bit of thought into things, Valmont has this really interesting role in the story. He's the obviously incorrect choice in a love triangle, but also the one who Selina would pick anyway.

Like, the issue before he dies the story teases a bit of romance with Bruce and Selina, and earlier there were some teases (or.. maybe acknowledgement is the right word?) between Selina and Eiko. There's two existing love interests for Selina, Bruce, who's the moral and safe choice, the wedding bells and gaggle of step kids choice. And there's Eiko, who's a major crime lord, one who's conducting business with some of the worst in Gotham. If it was just the two of them (especially if Eiko was closer to her Valentine personality), it'd be a pretty classic "the good boy and the bad boy girl" love triangle but Valmont is here, and he adds an interesting angle onto that love triangle(?) (is it still a triangle when there's three potential lover interests?).

(A reversal on Eiko and Selina’s very undefined relationship in Valentine’s run, which could be seen as divergence for the character but also kinda makes sense. With Eiko ending that run by shedding Catwoman (and identity that embodied personal freedom and also rebellion against her father) to become the head of the Hagisawa family (an identity marked by responsibility to the family and her place as her father’s heir) that going forward she’d be a lot less likely to engage in a nebulous undefined relationship when her life is now, by choice, very defined. It’s still however one of those things that assumes a non-zero amount of character development happened off screen.)

But Valmont? Valmont doesn’t ask anything *of* Selina.

Sure he does initially, “hey here’s this cat, I know where you live, join my thieves guild”. But this tactic gets him shot down by Selina and at best relegated to “untrusted ally” status (and more likely “useful but dangerous”). But after this, and after a brief break during the CatQuinn two-parter, Valmont’s back with a new tactic called “I’ll do literally anything you ask of me, including stopping killing people, and ask for nothing in return.” Which… with Selina being somewhat adverse to long term commitment (or commitment in general depending on the writer) this works.

Valmont’s hardly a healthier romantic option (he might not be the worst person Selina’s ever dated, but he’s still at the end of the day an arrogant invasive assassin) but he puts a spin on himself that makes Selina let her guard down around him and they do eventually become some vaguely undefined item.

And then in his final issue, Bruce accuses him of still being loyal to the league of assassins and of manipulating Selina. Then he kills again in the process of undoing a problem he caused, and gets in a big fight with Bruce about it. And when Valmont goes to kill Bruce, she kills Valmont which… It’s a weird moment for Selina, she’s normally very reserved about killing people and while yes needing to save Bruce could theoretically push her far enough. But also, it’s the best thing this run could do with Valmont.

Because Bruce’s accusations (along with Valmont’s general sketchiness) lead to this question with Valmont: does he genuinely love Selina, or is he using her for some unknown end? Because he know what he’s naturally like (down with murder) and we know he’s changed his behavior, but we don’t know whether it was because he wanted to be with Selina enough to change himself for that chance (which… understandable) or, if he was on some deep cover mission to manipulate Selina towards and he changed behavior in order to further his own covert ends. And… imo the possibility of it being one or the other is more interesting than any story you could get out of committing one way or the other.

And by killing Valmont, the run gets out of having to answer this question, which, again imo, is the most intelligent narrative decision this run made aside from bringing back Eiko.

That said, If in the last two issues Howard answers the question of “what really was up with Valmont” I’m retroactively taking back all of this praise and will be downgrading this run to "of poor quality but at least Eiko's here"

[komatsudaya]

hope you dont mind random asks ! im a huge fan of your fanfiction work and im always amazed by these sort of beautifully complex character dynamics you're able to establish and build upon from the source material. what's your process for when you're writing something? any advice for someone starting out? ^^"

I definitely don't mind random asks, I love talking to other people in the fandom! Thank you so much for the compliment and for reading my fic and reaching out!

I've never given out advice or talked a whole lot about my writing process, so forgive me if anything here isn't terribly interesting or helpful. Also, take anything I say with a whole salt mine, because I'm an amateur who only slightly knows what he's doing lol.

When I'm hit with an initial idea (out of nowhere, after watching an episode, talking with other fans, etc.), I'll note it down and let it cook for awhile, adding onto it if I'm struck with more plot points, dialogue, prose, etc. I personally have a text file on both my phone and my computer so I can write down everything that comes to mind no matter where I am. Once I think I've got enough to go off of, I'll start outlining. I used to switch between lots of outlining or vague notions of what I wanted, but I'd end up having to outline mid-story anyway because I'd realize oh no, I don't know what I'm writing.

When I do outlines, I start with listing the main story beats and plot points, noting where I want to put any specific dialogue or prose that I may have already thought of. I may also break down each scene into what I want it to achieve - mood, plot progression, stuff like "this is where X begins to see Y in different light." The outline can be changed and stuff can be added to it at any time as I write the story. For an example, here are parts of the outline for my YuuDemo fic "Just Not Out Loud":

You can see some details which ended up changed in the final version.

The first draft, I try to just write it without worrying too much about how great it sounds (I say "try" because I still haven't quite gotten over my habit of sitting on a sentence while writing until I think it's perfect). After the first draft is done, I'll go back and fix all the areas that seem limp or in need of rewriting. I've got a biiiiiig file of descriptions, phrases, etc. that I'm constantly adding to that I'll pull from when I'm in need of something evocative for my fic.

I don't have a beta reader, so when I'm done with the first draft of a fic, I'll put it away for two weeks so that I can then look at it again with fresh eyes. I'll read through the whole thing, making notes when I see something that needs to be changed. Then I'll go do a bunch of rewriting. Eventually, out of all that rewriting and editing comes the final version that I then publish online.

For the second question: I don't know what your writing background is, so I'll skip all the basic writing advice (read all sorts of different writing! learn spelling and grammar! vary sentence length for impact!) and focus on fanfic writing.

So you've got an idea. What to do with it? I think the hardest part of fic tends to be actually starting it. Staring at a blank screen is one of the most intimidating things in the world. To get over that, I'll often start the fic by writing the parts I want to write the most or which I've already got a solid plan for, then filling in the blanks between scenes later. Sometimes all you want to write is a scene, and that's okay, too! Lots of people write drabbles and flash fiction, and those are really good for dipping your toes into fic, trying out different characters' voices, etc.

Other general advice:

If in doubt, absorb more of the source material. If you're writing Nintama fic: there's literally thousands of episodes, it's likely that the character you're writing has gotten angry/sad/happy and you can study those episodes to see how the character would act in all sorts of different situations.

See if you can imagine your dialogue coming out of the character's mouth (as much as you can when writing Japanese-speaking characters in English… sometimes I end up with the very weebish problem of knowing what the dialogue I want to write is in Japanese but I have a hard time translating it into English).

Have fun! Ignore the doubt and second-guessing! Easier said than done, of course, but sometimes you have to tell your inner voice to shut up because you're here to have fun writing about characters you love.

If you're a Reddit kind of person and want more advice and discussion, the subreddits r/AO3 and r/FanFiction are pretty solid, and I know r/FanFiction has weekly concrit threads for getting feedback.

Hopefully some of what I wrote helped in some way? Like I said, I'm not used to giving advice or anything like that. Thank you again for such a wonderful message! And good luck with writing! If it's Nintama fic, I hope to see it when you finish it!

[pocket-luv101]

Misplaced Love Letters // CynoNari

Fandom: Genshin Impact Ship: CynoNari

Summary: Tighnari takes over Miss. Hina’s advice column for the week. He reads a letter and doesn’t know how to reply. “I am in love with my best friend. Should I confess to him?” (CynoNari, Modern AU)

“Tighnari, the way you phrased your advice is too blunt. Even if you’re correct, the reader will feel as though you’re judging them and they won’t listen to anything you suggest. It will also discourage others from writing to Miss. Hina. Maybe you should soften your tone.” Gorou slid the letter back to Tighnari. He sorted through the envelopes and picked one at random. “Here, try writing advice for this one. Imagine you’re giving advice to one of your students.”

“These letters are strangers to me and it’ll be disrespectful to treat them like children.” Tighnari sighed and tore the advice from his notebook to a new page. When Gorou asked him to write as Miss. Hina for the week, Tighnari agreed to help. He now questioned whether he was fit for the job. “It’s easier to tailor advice to my students because I know their strengths, weaknesses and where they need to improve. I’m happy to help but I’m curious why you chose me. Most consider me too harsh.”

“Cyno recommended you.” The simple sound of his name made Tighnari’s heart quicken. Gorou didn’t notice the slight change in Tighnari’s expression and added: “He said that you help his sister and gave her good advice. There’s no one he trusts more than you. The General Mahamatra doesn’t give such praise often so you must’ve left a good impression on him.”

“You’re exaggerating, Gorou.” Tighnari knew that Gorou used Cyno’s nickname as lighthearted teasing. Nevertheless, he found himself defending him. “He might seem like a recluse in school but most law students have a terrible social life. If I wasn’t Collei’s tutor, we wouldn’t have spent so much time together and become friends.”

He still felt uncertain about whether he could give advice as Miss. Hina but he would try. Tighnari didn’t want to betray the trust Cyno had in him. The opinion of others never mattered to him before but Cyno was different. He picked another letter from the pile and flicked his thumb over his pen. His resolve was immediately challenged when he read the letter.

I am in love with my best friend. Should I confess to him?

The short, two sentence letter caught Tighnari off guard. He had to wonder if the Archons were mocking him. Should I tell my best friend how I feel? Tighnari asked that same question to himself countless times over the past year. Despite that, he still didn’t have an answer. Cyno’s subtle smile appeared in his mind.

The letter didn’t reveal much of the person’s situation yet Tighnari understood all too well. The present and unknown future tugged at Tighnari’s heart: the reassuring comfort of his familiar friendship and the longing for his loving touch. If he confessed, he could possibly lose both. Should he risk everything they built together when he wasn’t certain that Cyno felt the same?

A part of him knew that he was projecting his own situation onto the letter. Tighnari tapped his ten against a blank sheet of paper. Minutes passed without him writing a reply. Miss. Hina could easily encourage the person to confess. The best relationships start as a friendship where they can grow together. There was a chance that their friend felt the same. The words sounded hollow to Tighnari. How could he give someone advice that he couldn’t follow himself?

“Tighnari, are you okay?” Gorou pulled him out of his thoughts.

He quickly smiled so he wouldn’t worry him. “I’m not the best at giving romantic advice. Maybe I should start with the letters asking for agriculture advice.”

The letter lingered in Tighnari’s mind after he left the library. He studied the words as he made his way to Cyno’s home. He walked the path many times before and he didn’t need to take his eyes off the letter. Tighnari traced his thumb over the green stationery paper and pondered over an answer. The floral design of the paper and rough texture was easily recognizable to him.

He began to cross the street but he was suddenly pulled to a stop. An arm wrapped around his waist and forced him to stumble to a stop. He lost his balance and fell backwards. He didn’t try to catch himself and allowed the person to steady him. From their familiar footsteps, Tighnari immediately recognized Cyno behind him.

“It’s dangerous to walk down the street with your nose in a book. You might get hurt by being distracted.” Cyno said. Tighnari tilted his head back and his tall ears blocked his vision. Despite that, Cyno didn’t mind. His hair was soft and had the subtle scent of flowers. When he gently brushed his ear aside, he noticed Tighnari hide a slip of paper in his pocket.

“I’m not a child who needs their hand held when crossing the street, Cyno. I can hear a car miles away.” Tighnari prided himself on being independent but his heart still fluttered when he saw the concern in Cyno’s eyes. He could easily become lost in the red sunset that his eyes held. He forced himself to look away and walked forward. Cyno fell into step beside him and Tighnari glanced at their hands. He wondered how he would react if he tried to hold it.

“Are you here to drop off homework for Collei? She went to the mall with Amber and Sucrose. I’ll put the worksheets on her desk for you.” Cyno offered. Earlier, he was surprised to find Tighnari in front of his house. He had cancelled his tutor session with Collei because he needed to work with Gorou for his project. He didn’t tell him the details so Cyno assumed he would be busy all day.

“Actually, I wanted to see you, Cyno. Can we talk inside?” In answer, Cyno held the door open for Tighnari. They often spent time together after tutoring Collei but something in Tighnari’s voice caught his attention. He wondered what he wanted to speak with him about.

Tighnari walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. They had spent so much time together in his home that he naturally relaxed. As if the house were his own home, he dropped his satchell next to him and draped his tail onto his lap. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. There was a furrow between his brows and Cyno wondered if something happened with Gorou.

The light sting of cold glass against his cheek startled Tighnari and he opened his eyes. Cyno held a glass of water next to him and the simple gesture made him smile. He was attentive and thoughtful yet he never brought attention to those small acts of kindness. He couldn’t help feeling happy and prideful that he was able to see this side of him.

“Thanks, Cyno. I’m fine.” Tighnari reassured him and took the cup. When Cyno settled into the spot beside him, he draped his tail over his lap. He combed his fingers through his green fur and a light hum escaped him. He quickly covered his mouth and glanced at Cyno in the corner of his eyes. Cyno continued to pet his tail silently and Tighnari was relieved he hadn’t heard his pur.

He took out the letter from his pocket and placed it on his tail. Cyno’s hand suddenly froze and became tense. Tighnari assumed that he merely paused to read the letter. “I told you that I was going to help Gorou today. He asked me to take over the Miss. Hina advice column. I didn’t tell you because Gorou asked me to keep it a secret. Then, I opened this letter. I need to talk to you about it.”

“I… Tighnari, I… You’re my bes—”

“I know Collei wrote this letter to Miss. Hina. This stationery paper is the same as the one she used for the Forest Ranger’s charity posters.”

The first time Tighnari read the letter, the question of whether they should confess to their best friend filled him with mixed emotions. He didn’t recognize the design of the paper until he left the library. Tighnari didn’t have an answer but he wanted to encourage Collei. He considered her to be his little sister and she should pursue happiness.

He turned to Cyno and waited for his reply. His lips parted a few times yet no words came to him. Tighnari smiled softly and lightly nudged his shoulder against his. “The letter took me by surprise too. I didn’t know she was interested in dating yet. Did she talk to you about anything? It could help me write the best advice for her.”

“Sometimes, it feels like she’s too afraid to ask me for advice. My love life – or lack thereof – would give her less reason to come to me for help.” He forced out a small laugh to hide the panic rising in him. Cyno couldn’t take his eyes off the familiar paper. His mind raced for an excuse to avoid facing the letter. “I don’t think I can help.”

Usually, he would be happy to help Tighnari. The letter was different. For a brief moment, he considered taking it from Tighnari and burning it. He was grateful that Tighnari misunderstood the situation and assumed that Collei wrote it.

Cyno was the one to write the letter.

“Collei looks up to you.” He placed his hand over Cyno’s and tenderly squeezed his fingers. Tighnari wanted to feel his warmth against his skin longer but he forced himself to let him go. He worried that Cyno would realize how he felt if he became too greedy. Despite that thought, he asked: “Would you confess to your best friend if you had feelings for them?”

“If the friend doesn’t feel the same, confessing will end their friendship. The other person might continue to be their friend but it will always be in the back of their mind… for both of them. It’ll become awkward and strange. One will be left hoping for something they know they can’t have and the other will be guilty for hurting them. It’s better to not change a relationship where we’re both happy already.”

“You can be happy with someone and hope for something more with them.” The argument rushed out of him in a hush whispered. Tighnari bit his lip against the words he held back for months. He glanced back at Cyno and studied his expression. If he heard him, he would realize that he wanted to answer the letter for himself as much as it’ll help Collei.

“You’re my best friend, Nari. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever lost you. I wouldn’t be able to eat your mushroom hodgepodge, play TCG with you or hear your plant facts.” Even sitting next to Tighnari as they were now was special to Cyno. He made each moment feel more significant. “Is confessing worth the risk of losing all that? That’s the question Collei is actually asking in her letter.”

“So, what advice should Miss. Hina write for this letter?”

The few minutes it took for him to reply felt like an hour for Tighnari. His heart was beating in his ears and it almost drowned out Cyno’s response. “She should wait until she’s certain. Maybe her friend will confess first. It’s better to stay friends for now.”

The paper became crumpled in Tighnari’s hand. He didn’t realize that his hands tightened into fists until Cyno gently eased the letter from his fingers. Yearning and heartbreak formed a lump in his throat and he couldn’t swallow it as he did before. The answer that he had been dreading was all but words written in front of him. Cyno would insist they remain friends if he confessed to him.

The only blessing of the rejection was that Cyno didn’t know how he felt. He could continue to have Cyno in his life without pushing him away with his unrequited love. Tighnari desperately repeated that to himself to drown out the sound of his own heart breaking.

“Are you okay, Tighnari? You look pale.” Cyno placed his hand on his cheek so he could tilt his gaze to him. The concern in his eyes touched Tighnari earlier. Now, it reminded him of everything he yearned for yet couldn’t have. Tighnari could only blame himself for the heartache he felt. When he decided to show the letter to Cyno, he had hoped that he would confess to him.

“I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have told you about this letter.”

Hurt passed over Cyno’s face and he let him go. “I’m sorry. Was that bad advice? I’m not good with romance or feelings. You should write a better reply.”

“It’s not you.” Tighnari instinctively reached out to comfort him. The hurt in Cyno’s red eyes was more painful to him. However, he couldn’t reassure him by explaining the reason he regretted giving him the letter. The only thing he could do was take his hand and tangle their fingers together. He leaned forward and hid his face in his strong shoulder. Without thinking, he muttered: “I’m the fool who fell in love with my best friend.”

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera Ch 4 - Thunderbird

(Prologue, Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3)

From here on ignore anything I say about future chapter length because somehow this one ended up longer still… but slightly too many words better than no words, right?

I need to work out how to properly tag this but there are… events of an unpleasant nature in E’s early adult life during the war which won’t ever be described but will be implied at various points and are a little more strongly implied here than they have been so far. As I say, there will never be anything graphic or in any way detailed but if the hint that there was something in the past is going to cause you a problem please dodge. I considered writing it out completely but it would involve rewriting a lot of how her character develops and I just couldn’t make it work.

Right, I’ll get on with dropping stuff on Scott…

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Thankfully the collapse was a short lived and highly localised one. Although the shockwave of each chunk of rock slamming into his back and helmet shuddered through his ribs and down his spine, it didn’t hurt too badly so it was unlikely much damage had been done. The suit had done its job - Brains really was a genius.

What was much more worrying was the way the teacher had gone entirely limp and collapsed on top of the two children she was shielding. Had a stray bit of debris hit her? Her helmet had slipped to one side but he was sure he’d covered her head… the movement of rock seemed to be slowing but it was too soon to move yet. Transferring his weight to one arm he flipped open the visor on his helmet and dragged his glove off with his teeth. He felt for a pulse while still sheltering her and the kids as best he could from the last few stray pebbles. There it was… and she seemed to be breathing slowly.

Ok. Right, ok.

He patted the shoulders of the two figures huddled beneath their teacher and called out some generically reassuring phrases to the other kids, told them to keep calm and still… then suppressed a grunt of pain as one last heavy shard came away and caught his neck and shoulder at an acute angle, tearing through the fabric of his suit. No longer able to support himself with the one arm, he braced with the other and bit back a bitter curse at the thought of how his brothers were going to react to this. Couldn’t he have at least got through one rescue without an injury to distract them with? Just one? His helmet lights flickered and went out.

A metallic pop then the fizz of static told him his comm connection was also probably a goner. It was beginning to feel distinctly less like a jazz hands kind of day.

He waited a couple more seconds to ensure nothing else would fall then with a slight grimace pushed himself up and gently rolled the teacher away from the shocked kids and into the recovery position. Her vitals were fine and from his brief torchlit inspection he couldn’t see or feel any head injury… maybe with the shock of everything she’d just fainted? Her forehead was furrowed which was… unusual. He shook her shoulder a little, she tensed her jaw but otherwise no response. Something told him to leave her be for a while.

He helped the kids up and checked them over. The rest of the class, seemingly frozen in shock up to now, suddenly rushed forwards towards their unconscious teacher. The flow of calming words continued without any conscious thought or effort as he persuaded her charges to back away a little and give her some room. She’d wake up soon. Her brain was just making her have a little rest after being so brave. She was ok, he promised. The sticky feeling progressing down his back was a reminder that he needed to keep the kids in front of him, no need to freak them out any more. He shifted so that his back was towards the wall and smiled round at them all. In a ploy to distract, he started asking them their names and favourite dinosaurs given that was clearly a topic of interest.

The two children the teacher had been sheltering were shaky but unharmed. One had snuck closer again and was gently stroking her hair. Well he’d turn a blind eye to that. The rest of the class… less so.

“Astraaaaa! Mr Scott said you have to keep away from Miss H so she can wake up slowly! It’s not fair!” Jeff’s fury at the injustice was potent.

“But I want to help!” Glistening eyes appealed to him in the dim light.

Scott cast his mind back to wrangling Gordon and Alan at this age. He just needed to get them working together somehow… he hoped he wouldn’t live to regret his next suggestion.

“Sometimes singing to somebody in a deep sleep can help. Do you guys know any songs she might like?”

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The voices of young children singing faded into her field of hearing, distant and strange in timbre as if she was underwater. She tensed, remembering the taunts and harsh laughter that had immediately preceded the darkness. Had they gone? She held her breath. It…seemed so? There was singing and they’d never have allowed that. The mocking, hateful voices had been replaced by a more melodious one and she became aware of a gentle hand patting the side of her jaw. Opening her eyes she saw Blue frowning down at her.

No! No it wasn’t safe for him here!

She gasped and scrabbled backwards whereupon she was surrounded by little arms and worried voices and she wasn’t There at all but with the kids and they were all… where…?

She blinked dazedly for a moment then it finally came flooding back and she tried and failed to find her voice to reassure them all.

At least six of them began talking at a mile a minute and any contribution from her turned out to be unnecessary, so she released a breath slowly and allowed the wave of chatter to wash away the sense of horror and revulsion prickling at her skin. Why had she passed out? The flashback had been hazy, but the eyes had been so vivid. She stole a glance at the man using his foot to shift the larger pieces of rubble to the side of the cave.

Of course it hadn’t been Him. It was just the International Rescue guy. Who probably now thought she was pretty pathetic not to mention rude.

“And you dived over to save them just like a superhero, Miss! And then Mr Scott superheroed right on top of you AND Astra AND Bee but he didn’t fly you away or anything and the wall fell all over you and it was really really scary and Rozi screamed right in my ear but you weren’t dead and Mr Scott told us we shouldn’t all sit around and poke you so we sat over here, except Astra didn’t which really annoyed Jeff and then we sang to you did you like that?”

Xanthe paused for breath and Estera took the opportunity to stem the tide of information by thanking them all for the update and asking if everyone was ok. Again. As if the question made any difference. None of them were ok. How was any of this ok? She shoved down the bubble of despair that was lurking in her windpipe.

One of the torches flickered out.

The rescuer looked up and suggested they should turn off half the torches for now. There was the traditional excited squealing as the cave got darker but there was still enough light to see each other by.

Now what?

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If he was honest, the look of absolute terror on her face had thrown him a little. He couldn’t quite rationalise it with the circumstances and it had felt quite… personal somehow, as if she wasn’t just scared but specifically scared of… him? That didn’t make any sense though. All the same he figured it wouldn’t do any harm to give her some space.

So he tidied away the fragments of rock because, well, the kids needed as much safe open floor space as possible. And he needed to do… something. He glanced over at the small oxygen tank and tried to calculate how much time had passed since his last contact with John and Virgil. They’d said half an hour. Must be coming up on that now. He hoped fervently that nothing had gone wrong, that whatever had caused the earth slip here in the cave hadn’t endangered his little brother too.

He took it back. Being out of contact with his brothers was hell. He’d take another month of smothering over this silence. Maybe two.

Maybe he had to admit that he hadn’t been ready. Something had set him on edge and he didn’t think it was the cave in, or the declining oxygen situation. There was something else wrong. What was he missing? Maybe if he was fit, he’d know but today… he cursed his fuzzy brain. The atmospheric sensor in his suit told him it was on the edge of too warm down here now but he was shivery and there were shadows at the very limits of his vision that didn’t line up with the positions of the torches…

He shifted his aching shoulder awkwardly. Ow. Oh! Blood loss! Oh! Maybe it was that. Hopefully it was just something as simple and easily fixed and could-happen-to-anyone as bleeding a little excessively and going wobbly at the edges. Somewhat relieved, and with not insignificant effort he returned his attention to the kids who had begun another passionate debate about something or other. At least they were no longer singing THAT song…

In an effort to get out of doing the actions, he’d had to pretend not to know Baby Shark… Ha! As if he’d had a chance to escape that one with a toddler Gordon in the house…

“TWO IS THE STRONGEST!”

“THREE CAN GO TO THE MOON!”

Hello? Scott perked up. This sounded more like his area.

“THREE IS RED WHICH IS THE BESTEST COLOUR! I’M RIGHT!”

“TWO PUTS OUT FIRES!”

He couldn’t help a quiet chuckle when one of them, he thought it might be Rozi, declared that Thunderbird 3’s pilot was the cutest and that she was going to marry him. Best start running, Allie.

“TWO CAN GO UNDERGROUND!”

Huh?

Outraged squawking resulted which the teacher shushed with a single raised hand. The conversation proceeded at a slightly lower volume.

“Two can’t go underground. You need a mole pod for that”

“Well you can’t have a mole pod without Two. OR Thunderbird Four. Or anything useful. Two carries all the things.”

“THUNDERBIRD TWO HAS POCKETS!” Astra stood and punched the air.

“So does my mum’s handbag, that doesn’t make it COOL.”

Scott barked out a laugh “I’ll tell him you said that.”

Eleven pairs of eyes snapped towards him.

“Which is your favourite Thunderbird, Mr Scott?”

Truthfully? Right now he’d quite like to get an eye-full of green cahelium, but this was a matter of principle.

“One, of course.”

There was a pause while the children considered. Reuben even put his fist to his jaw and gazed upwards in silent contemplation.

“One can go twenty times the speed of sound.” Piped up Sam.

Scott cringed “Uhhhh, well… nineteen times.”

“Why not twenty?”

“It’s just the way she is. After that it gets a bit… explodey.” Scott was sure Brains would back him up on that technical term…

Another pause.

“Well that’s still pretty fast.”

“Yeah but One is tiny and can’t carry a whole lake of water!”

They all turned to their teacher.

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Estera had thus far masterfully avoided coming down on either side of the argument, convinced that the devoted fans on the opposing side would never forgive her. She was saved from further dodging by a popping noise and a loud hiss:

“Thunderbird Two to Thunderbird One, I am on approach to your location, eta 15 minutes. Do you read?”

The blue-eyed operative - somehow she couldn’t make his name stick in her mind - half raised his right arm then switched to the left, tapped the logo on his uniform and answered, a hint of formality layered over his lighthearted, friendly way of speaking.

“F.A.B. Thunderbird Two, great to hear your voice. Had a minor additional fall down here earlier but we’re all ok.”

There was a little ‘something’ in his voice that the man on the other end clearly noticed too.

“All of you?”

“Absolutely fine, Virgil”

She frowned and cleared her throat.

“Your colleague is favouring his left arm, suspect some damage to his right shoulder or ribs on that side when the debris fell on him”

A deep sigh over the comm.

“Thanks, don’t let him make it worse.”

Mr Friendly-Voice spluttered.

“Et tu, Brute?”

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Chapter 5…