#i never got carby before

[justatasteofyourpoison]

Too many cooks…

(A Hazbin Hotel/Alastor x Fem Reader fan fiction)

Part 2

I didn’t expect to write any more smut, butttt I had so much fun writing the last one (take that depression! :D) This idea came to me while casually preparing a roast on Sunday and singing along to the HH soundtrack. Enjoy!

Pairing: Alastor x Fem Reader

Plot: It’s your turn to cook for the HH gang, but Alastor decides to distract you…

Warnings: 18+, smut, bdsm, blood, rough sex (not for me, but maybe you), slight praise k*nk, p in v.

Word Count: About 1.3K

____________________________________________

The hotel was a hub of joy and excitement tonight, it was Friday night and that meant party time! Each week you all took turns cooking a slap-up meal for each other, then put on music, drank and laughed into the small hours. Last week Sir Pentious served up some sort of inedible egg dish which didn’t go down too well, especially when you all had noticed a couple of his egg boys had mysteriously disappeared… But anyway, it was your turn to shine and you were determined to cook something amazing for everyone!

You had it all planned out, cook a few things to suit every taste; something meaty, something veggie, something carby and something buggy… “Ugh” you scoffed as you placed the tray of roaches into the oven. It was Nifty’s favourite and who were you to deny the endearing little creep?

Niffty ran in and out of the kitchen gathering plates and cutlery to set the table. “Thanks Niffty, you’re a star!” You chimed as she grabbed some plates. “No problem! Everything must be perfect!” She sang as she grabbed some more plates. “And clean” she muttered wiping the top plate manically as she struggled through the door.

You laughed to yourself and began preparing the vegetables on the large island in the middle of the kitchen. “I think I’ll have everyone’s tastes covered with this spread” you thought. But then you remembered - Alastor. Alastor who had invited you to his room last night… Your heart fluttered as you remembered the evening’s amorous activities… “I don’t have any venison for Alastor, he’ll be so disappointed” you thought sadly. You didn’t want to disappoint him, especially now that you were his new flight of fancy.

You continued chopping up vegetables when a familiar feeling washed over you. The static was back and that only meant one thing… “Hello my little Doe” a voice suddenly whispered into your ear. You jumped violently and accidentally pierced the knife into your finger. “SHIT!” you yelped in pain as scarlet began dripping onto the white marble. You grabbed the nearest cloth and pressed it tightly to your finger before spinning round to see Alastor stood there. “Hey Alastor, sorry” you said meekly. “No I’m sorry my dear, I need to learn to not sneak up on people when they’re holding knives. Especially not Niffty, she’s a total liability…” He trailed off, “but here, let me help you” Before you knew it the cloth was tossed aside and Alastor had your finger in his mouth. A seductive look in his eye as his tongue swirled around, making sure to get every drop of you. When he was satisfied he let you go and wiped his mouth across his hand “almost as tasty as last night” he purred looking intently into your eyes. You blushed. “Now don’t be coy with me Y/N, you’re no innocent” he said leaning in closer before gently pressing his lips to yours. Your legs felt weak feeling him against you.

“What are you cooking?” He enquired inquisitively after pulling himself away from you. “Err, a little of this, a little of that” you said brushing a loose hair behind your ear. “But…” you began sheepishly “I haven’t got any venison for you, I’m sorry.”

“Oh don’t worry about it” Alastor said coolly “I prefer to catch and eat it fresh” he said almost salivating at the thought. “But the fact I slipped your mind makes me a little sad…” He said his tone changing. Your stomach fell, you never wanted to disappoint the Radio Demon. “I’m sorry Alastor” you said avoiding his gaze. “But, I know how you can make it up to me” he grinned demonically.

Before you knew what was happening Alastor had spun you around and was pressing you down onto the cold marble worktop, his crotch pressed against your buttocks and his powerful hands holding you down by your neck. “Al!” you squeaked in surprise. “Y’know that bit of blood has got me yearning for a little bit more” he growled leaning down over you, his lips against your ear. His lips brushed down to your neck before biting into the flesh gently, his crotch rubbing against you. His lips trailed back up next to your ear. Your face was now flushed hot with excitement. “Last night was wonderful, I think it’s time for round two” he whispered seductively. Your heart skipped a beat, “But what if someone comes in?” you questioned, amazed that you both hadn’t been interrupted already. “I’ll make sure no one will” he said before licking your ear slowly up and down. From the corner of your eye your saw green lock appear on the door. No one would be disturbing you.

Alastor slid his hands down to your black skirt and hoisted it up. “These tights will have to go” he said sternly ripping them off with his claws. You winced as he then spanked your bare arse cheek. “Do you like that Y/N?” You did like that, a lot. “Yes Alastor” you moaned.

“Good girl” he purred as he began sliding your thong down to your ankles. You could hear him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers and felt your body tighten with excitement. He bent back down to your ears “Ready my Doe?” he cooed. “God yes Alastor” you whimpered.

His clawed fingertips traced their way down your back towards your buttocks, he dug his claws into the soft flesh and thrust himself into you roughly, you yelped in pain but didn’t want him to stop. He grabbed you by your pony tail and pulled your neck up, his lips back on your neck giving hickies. He moaned deeply with each thrust into your soaking pussy. “You’re mine” he growled as his stood up tall thrusting harder. His cock was deep inside you, tickling you just were you wanted it. “I thought you were punishing me Al” you moaned. Alastor laughed “Its not my fault you like it you little slut. Now, come for me” his thrusts became faster and the feeling was sensational. He dug his claws into your hips drawing blood and you felt yourself coming hard at the mixed feeling of pleasure and pain “fuck!” you exclaimed before moaning uncontrollably. “That’s it my little Doe” Alastor panted. “My turn!” He thrusted roughly, you could feel your hips starting to bruise from being bashed against the counter. But you didn’t care, all you wanted was Alastor to get there. He leant into you and grabbed your neck before groaning loudly. His cock pulsing inside you as your pussy was filled with him.

He kissed the back of your head before standing up and swiftly dressing himself. He gently pulled your underwear up and let your skirt down. He picked up the tattered tights and laughed “looks like I owe you more clothes!” before making them disappear in a puff of smoke. You chuckled as you turned to face him. You could never get over that face, that smile... He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. “I’ll see you at dinner my Deer. There may not be anything I’ll eat, but some Rye with friends is always a welcomed treat.”

“Sounds good to me” you panted, still trying to recover from what had just happened. Before Alastor reached the door he stopped and turned “I’ll send some of the girls in to help you finish dinner, you’ve just used up a lot of energy so I’m sure you could you some help.” He said with a wicked grin. With a snap of his fingers the lock was removed from the door and he left inconspicuously.

You braced yourself on the counter. “What just happened…? Fuck!” You laughed to yourself removing a hand from the cold counter to wipe the sweat from your forehead. “I’d better clean up this blood, it looks like Niffty’s tortured someone in here…”

All instalments:

[nenilein]

Drama CD #1-1: The Genie of Wishes in the Underground Ruins (ENG)

[DISCLAIMER: This translation was made by me! Feel free to repost parts of it or the entire text wherever you want as long as you credit the translator correctly!]

INTRO

Arle: Drama CD Puyo Puyo! 

-

STORY

Narrator: A dark underground ruin crawling with dangerous monsters… This is the setting of a certain legend the people tell. It is said that within this ruin a being known as the “Genie of Wishes” has been sealed, and that he shall grant but a single wish of whoever comes to break this seal… 

SFX: *Puyo popping sounds*

Arle: Hah! There! One, two… Ice Storm!

SFX: *Monster dying shriek*

Arle: I did it!

SFX: *bouncing*

Carbuncle: Gugu! Gugugu!

Arle: Oh! Carby’s using that Puyo as a trampoline! That sure looks fun!

Arle: But this isn’t the time! C’mon, we gotta hurry on along!

Carbuncle: Gu-gugu!

SFX: *their footsteps as they run further into the labyrinth*

Arle: It sure has been a while since we’ve gone on this sort of adventure, hasn’t it? Let’s make sure that the first people to break the seal on the wishin genie sealed at the center of this dungeon will be us! Okay, Carby?

Carbuncle: Gugu, gugu!

Arle: Yeah, you’ve right! That’s why we’ve gotta speed up! I mean, what if somebody’s already gotten in here before us?

Witch: Howdy!

Arle: WARRRGH!! …Witch? Don’t scare me like that, geez!

Witch: Oh, c’mon, gimme a smile! Say ‘Howdy!’

Arle: H-Howdy…? Wait, if you’re here, then that means… You’re after the wishing genie too, aren’t you? 

Witch: Yep, guess I am.

Arle: Then you leave me no choice! Let’s battle!

Witch: Now, hold on a minute! Personally, I’ve got no intentions of scuffling with you, Arle!

Arle: Huh?

Witch: I mean, this dungeon is dangerous, like, VERY dangerous. And I’m just a frail little witchling, oh, however will I make it through here on my own? So I was thinking, Arle, how about you and I team up for this adventure? 

Arle: Heh? Um, well… 

Witch: Oh, please, please, pretty please? Do it for your old friend Witch~? 

Carbuncle: Gugu…?

Arle: I mean, if you really wanna party up that bad… I guess…

Witch: …As if~…Ohohoho…

Witch:  Gotcha guard down! Meteo!!

SFX: *attacking sound*

Arle: Heheh! Not a chance!!

SFX: *spellcasting and attacking sounds*

Witch:  WHOA!!

Arle:  I knew it! You were never the type to play nice. I figured you had some kind of ulterior plan, so I made sure to prepare a counter attack when you weren’t paying attention!

Witch:  Urgh…This blows…

Arle: You stay here and take a little nap now. 

Witch:  Hmpf! This isn’t fair, you know! 

Arle: Right back at you! Seriously… Anyway, Carby, let’s move on!

SFX: *footsteps*

Carbuncle: Gugu!

Witch: W-WAIIIIT!

SFX: *they keep running*

-

Arle: *sigh* So Witch made it here too… And if she did, then I bet-

Carbuncle: *gasp* GUGU!!

Arle:  Huh? Carby?

Schezo:  Hmpf… Arle. It would see you too have laid your sights upon the legendary Genie of-

Arle: YES, BINGO!! I KNEW it was gonna be Schezo next~!

Schezo:  What the- S-STOP POINTING AT ME! My face is NOT your bingo sheet!

Arle: Geez, it’s just a figure of speech, calm down! By the way, what’s it you’re after today? My magic power or that of the wishing genie?

Schezo:  Hmpf. I shall answer you. What I desire… is BOTH! 

SFX: *sword slash*

Arle: Ack! Rushing forward and attacking is not cool! 

SFX: *Puyo chaining sounds*

Schezo: It is your own fault for neglecting your guard! Finally, today will be the day that I shall make you my own! Oh, roar, my Dark Sword! 

Arle:  Urgh! I can’t fall behind…

SFX: *Puyo chaining sounds*

Arle:  Judgement! 

Schezo: That won’t suffice! I am more than ready to neutralize and counter that attack! Sting Shade!!

SFX: *blast*

Arle:  Argh! Schezo is always so strong…!

Schezo: Hmpf. Are you ready to beg for your life now? …W-Wait! What is that there dangling from your hip? It is… so round! 

Arle:  That? Oh, that’s a good luck charm Amitie gave me a while back. It’s a little plush figure that looks like an acorn frog. I think it’s really super-

Schezo: Uhh… it’s so cuuuuute…!

Arle: Yeah, right? It’s super cute and…! Wait, huh? 

Schezo: Such a lovely sight…! While the real thing is already unsurpassable in its adorableness, seeing a plush figure modeled in its image is just too…!

Arle: Um, Schezo? Anybody still home in there…? 

Carbuncle: Gugu, gugu…

Schezo: Right now, there is nothing… NOTHING I desire more than to have YOU!!

Arle: Ah… um… You mean… the plush, right? Okay, anyway…

SFX: *Puyo chaining sounds*

Arle: Seriously, how can he leave himself wide open like that… Urgh… I can’t even feel any good about this, but… let’s just get this over with.

Arle: MIND BLAST!

SFX: *blast, cartoon birds tweeting*

Schezo: WAAAARGH!

Arle: Critical hit straight to the brain, huh? Anyway, you spend some time recovering from the mind-melt here now!

Schezo: *lisping* Uhh… uhh… Where’sh this? What wash I… doing…? 

Arle: Okay, Carby. Let’s hurry on along!

Carbuncle: Gu-gugu!

SFX: *footsteps as they leave*

-

Arle: We’re pretty far in now, huh?

Carbuncle: Gugu…

Arle:  I’m pretty sure we’re just about due for her now…

Rulue: OH-HOHOHOHO!

Arle: *sigh* Yeah… There’s the laugh. I figured. I knew she’d show up. But, still..

Rulue: I had a feeling you would be here, Arle! 

Arle: Hey there… Rulue…

Rulue: You must also be searching for the Genie of Wishes. But in the end I will be one to undo the seal! And then I shall have a GORGEOUS wedding with my darling prince, Satan!

Arle: Yeah. That stupid, bland wish sure sounds like you.

Rulue: *shrieking* What are you calling “stupid” and “bland”!? Arle! Not only must you always stand in the way of my romance with my Satan, but now you’re also being so incredibly rude to me!!

Arle: What did I even do!? It’s Satan who’s obsessed with chasing me, not the other way around! 

Rulue: *shriek* You will pay for this…! I will shut you up for good with my marvelous martial arts techniques! 

Arle: *sigh* Yeah, of course this is where this conversation went.

Rulue: I will NOT hold back for a second! 

SFX: *Puyo chaining sounds*

Rulue: Queen’s Dance!

Arle: AAAAAAHH!!

SFX: *blast, more chaining sounds*

Arle: AHH, she sure still knows how to pack a punch! Urgh, and I’m still powered out from casting earlier. I really was hoping to avoid more battles… Looks like I’ve got only one choice!

Rulue: Come now, Arle. What’s wrong? Show me your best shot!

Arle: Hey, Rulue! Look behind you! It’s Satan!

Rulue: Such an obvious lie! That trick won’t work on me.

Arle: But Rulue, he’s waving at you~

Rulue: Ungh… As if I’d fall for this…!

Arle: Oh! And now he’s winking at you!

Rulue: …Uhhh….uhh…!

Arle: Ah! He just blew you a kiss!

Rulue: …She’s lying… I know she’s lying, but… Oh, why must you betray me, my foolish heart…!? OH, MY DARLING, SATAN~!!

Arle: Hngh! Fireball!

SFX: *chain sound, blast*

Rulue: AAAAAHHH!

Arle: Sorry for this, Rulue. But I really don’t think you should have THAT wish granted~!

Rulue: How dare you… AAAARLE!!

SFX: *footsteps as Arle runs away*

Rulue: COME BACK HERE, RIGHT NOW!

-

SFX: *still running*

Arle: *pant, pant…* …Ahh!! There it is! The final door!

Carbuncle: Gu-gugu!

Arle: The wishing genie is sealed behind that door! And we’re first in line to unseal him!

Carbuncle: Gugu!

SFX: *gate opening*

SFX: *slow footsteps*

Satan: Truely, Arly, Carbunny! You two ARE first in line! Let me congratulate you! …Or, well, you would be first. If one were to not count me! The great monarch of the night, Satan!

Arle: Satan? You’re here too!?

Satan: I had a feeling you would not miss your chance to visit this place, so I waited here. Hah. And you have done well defeating the many opponents in your path and making it here first! I expected no less of you, Arle! You are truly worthy of being my wedded empress! 

Arle: I keep telling you! I’ll NEVER be your “empress”! *sigh* How many times have I said that line now? I’ve kinda lost count. 

Carbuncle: Gugu-gu…

Satan: Now, now, there’s no need to be flustered! WAHAHAHAHA!!

Arle: This is really bad… Satan may be a moron, but he’s also really super powerful…!

Satan: Now, Arly, Carbunny, time to stop playing coy! Else I’ll have to be a liiiittle forceful in escorting you out of her~!

Arle: *sigh* Overthinking this isn’t going to help… Let’s get this going, Satan!

SFX: *Puyo popping sounds*

Arle: Hah! There! Fireball!!

Satan: Oh my, oh my… I suppose I shall accept this symbol of your burning passion! 

Arle: Urgh… Ice Storm!

Satan: Ahhh~ Such a nice, little breeze~

Satan: It is about time I returned fire… Disaster!

Arle: *screaming* AAAAAH!!

Carbuncle: *screaming: GUUUU!!

Arle:  Ou, ou, ou, ou, ouch…! Carby! Are you okay?

Carbuncle: Gugu…

Satan: Awww! Don’t make such a sad face my precious little Carbunny! I promise I’ll give you lots of pets after we’re done here~!

Arle: Hm… Satan!

Satan: Hm? What is it, Arle?

Arle: Um…Could you stand over there for a moment?

Satan: For what? Do you want to admire me striking battle poses for a little longer~? Hm~?

Arle: A little further right!

Satan: You mean here? How is this? Does this angle make me look especially handsome?

Arle: Yes, yes, that’s very good~! …Now, Carby!!

Carbuncle: Gu! GUGUGU!!

SFX: *Rubelcrack Beam*

Satan: W-WAAAAARGH!!! M…My eyes! MY EYES!! 

Arle: Perfect teamwork, Carby! Okay, Satan, we’re gonna go now! BYE~!

Satan: U-Urgh… N-No, wait… This can’t be… ARLE, WAIIIT!!

SFX: *footsteps as Arle runs away*

-

SFX: *still running*

Arle: *panting* 

SFX: *stops running*

Arle: *deep breath* Carby! We did it! We’re here!

Carbuncle: Gu-gugu!

Arle: Now, let’s see… Where’s that Wishing Genies sealed? The only thing I can see in this room is some musty, old kind of pot…

Genie(muffled): Over here…!

Arle: Whoaaa!! The pot just talked to me!

Genie(muffled): Over here…! I am sealed within this awful thing!

Arle: Oh, so that’s how it is… Hey, so, I heard that you’ll grant one wish to the person who helps you outta there. Is that true?

Genie(muffled): Yes. No matter how greedy or preposterous your wish, it will come true just as you imagine it! Now, come on, hurry, open the lid of this jar!

Carbuncle: Gugu…

Arle: …Right, you feel it too, don’t you, Carby? I have this really bad feeling about this.

SFX: *someone comes running*

Witch: *panting* …Hold it right there!

Arle: Argh! Witch!?

Witch: *panting* …Now I’ve caught up to you! 

SFX: *more people running*

Schezo&Rulue: *heavy panting* 

Schezo: ARLE! YOU’LL PAY FOR EARLIER!

Rulue: ARLE! DON’T YOU THINK YOU’VE WON ALREADY!

Arle: And now Schezo and Rulue are here too!

Schezo: Now hand me that jar at once!

Rulue: Give it to me!

Witch: No, to me!

[The scene now descends into Schezo, Rulue and Witch incomprehensibly bickering over each other about who should take the pot from Arle. This keeps going as Arle starts to talk again.]

Arle: What do I do now…? Argh! I don’t have time to think this over!!

SFX: *jar being ploppen open*

Witch:  EEK! Arle already opened the jar!!

Arle: Whoa…! *cough* What’s with all this smoke? What is going on!?

Rulue: Kiii! What is happening now!?

Schezo: Wait…

Rulue:  Huh?

Schezo: Something is not right here…!

Arle: Huh!? The smoke is taking the shape of a person!

Genie:  Wa-Ha-Ha… Hehehehehehe!! You fools! Thank you for breaking the seal on me, the Genie of Despair!!

Arle: Huh?

Schezo: The Genie of…Despair?

Rulue: But did the legend not speak of a Genie of Wishes?

Genie: Hahaha! That was a rumor I spread to lure foolish adventurers here. And it seems my plan worked perfectly!

Witch: Then… It was all a lie!?

Genie: That is precisely what it was! I mean who in their right mind would grant you lots’ wishes!? I must say, watching you all be deceived by such an obviously made up tale and quarrel so gruesomely among each other was very amusing! 

The Group: *restless sounds*

Genie: Eheheheheh! My powers are returning to me quickly! Behold the great power that once spread poison miasma across the lands! A magic which’s destructive spells once drove out each and every challenger who stepped before me, and turned this area into a land of despair!

The Group: *more restless sounds*

Genie:  Now, you shall fear me! Tremble in terror! In thanks of breaking my seal, you all shall be the first to taste the despair I-

The Group: SHUT THE HECK UP!! (Gu-gugu-GU!)

Genie: …Heh?

Witch: How dare you deceive me! You sure have nerve!

Rulue: I’ll teach you to play with the dreams of a maiden in love!

Schezo: I have no use for the magic of a being as repulsive as you!

Arle:  You’ve REALLY gone and made us mad at you now, you know!?

Carbuncle:  Gugu-gugu-GU!

[Everybody is incomprehensibly yelling at the genie without waiting their turn.]

Genie:  W-Wait! Were you even listening to what I said!? *deep breath* I am an INCREDIBLY powerful Genie of Despair, who is going to-

Arle: EAT THIS CHAIN! Here I go!! Diacute!

SFX: *Puyo popping sounds*

Witch: I’ll take over! Twinkle Dust!

Rulue: Very well! Concentration!

Schezo:  Oh, dark power… Tear Apart!

Genie:  *shrieking* What is this comet my eyes see before me!? W-Wait! Just a moment ago you were quarreling and snarling amongst each other! Why can you suddenly work together so perfectly!?

Arle: Take this! This is a special chain, full of all our anger! BAYO~EN!!

SFX: *BIIIG IMPACT*

Genie: WAAAAAAAHHH! *blasts off like Team Rocket*

Arle: *pants and sighs* Haaah… Now I feel a little better, I guess.

Witch: We managed to unite our powers wonderfully!

Schezo: Not by choice, of course, but I am also not surprised.

Rulue: Who would’ve thought that a party as prone to quarreling as us could work together so well?

Arle: Yeah, it’s scary how well we all synchronize when it comes down to it, huh?

SFX: *someone comes running*

Satan: Ah! Arle! What happened here? I heard a loud noise…

Arle: Oh! Satan! You only just got here? Your eyes aren’t hurting still, are they…?

Satan: Hmpf… I still find myself blinking a bit more than I should. But, much more importantly! I just saw a rather evil-looking genie come soaring my way. Before I knew it I’d caught it in my hands and sealed it away in a bottle suitable for the job, but where did it come from, I wonder? 

Genie(muffled again): No! NO! I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!!

Rulue: *squee* Oh, my darling Satan! As expected of you, you saved the day!

Schezo: Just throw the bottle out with the recyclables. Nobody wants that trash.

Satan: What has gotten into you…?

Rulue: That all aside… *sigh* What a waste. I came all this way hoping for a gorgeous wedding with my Satan, and now this!

Satan: R-Rulue… I think you just gave me the chills…

Schezo: *sigh* I too came here looking to increase my power, but it seems all the walking was for naught…

Witch: It’s mortifying! I thought I’d be able to use this as a pretext to finally become a fully-fledged witch!

Arle: Yeah, same here! Just when I thought I’d be able to finally get my hands on some good curry again!

Carbuncle: Gugu!

Schezo: Wait…

Schezo, Rulue & Witch:  You were going to wish for CURRY!?

-END

[squiddosss]

salutations fellow human being! if you are taking requests, may i suggest the aouv crew (there needs to be a better nickname for them) as children? idk just an idea

p.s. this is also a reminder that al had a bowl cut when he was 6-7 years old :) do what you will with that info :)))

I AM ALIVE! [insert 20 exclamation points here] ok but seriously sorry for dipping off the face of the planet :(

here’s the line up! i kinda forgot everyone’s exact ages. i’m going to go ahead and say the characters are in 3rd-5th grade right now. also isn’t elionor one of the oldest champions?? uhhh idk

additional headcanons:

we all know Reid is a huge nerd. he probably leaned into the nerdy-ness a lot as a kid. this kid wore starwars shirts every day. also glasses, (i believe this is canon)

Isobel was actually rather quiet as a kid. she preferred books over people, and liked talking to adults more than kids her age. she was still exceptionally clever and motivated, but she didn’t really learn how to be sharp-tongued and ambitious until she befriended Briony. she owes her people skills that got her through the months before the tournament and all the reporters to her best friend. 

Briony basically coerced Isobel into joining a thing called spell scouts. think like boy scouts or girl scouts or any other youth program but for a magickal world. things like nature and survival skills were taught, but also the basics of spellcrafting and ethics of spell using. (just imagine them in their little uniforms)

Finley was pretty athletic and played a few sports, but didn’t fancy working with a whole team. he attempted junior league soccer (wait… football??? i am american help) but found that he preferred scoring points for his team rather than with his team. he did summer swim at first and running, but wouldn’t discover fencing until he was older (i believe he is the team captain in high school) oh, he also totally did summer theater camps. 

Alistair TOTALLY had a bowl cut. unfortunately, he has curly hair. Marianne Lowe thought his curly hair (which he inherited from his father, whoever that could be) was unbecoming for an eventual Lowe champion, so Alistair’s mother would have to magickally get it to stay straight every day. this is part of why Al lacks freckles— whenever Al went outside, humidity would turn it back into a curly mess. so, under Marianne’s instructions, he just never went outside. he later stopped straightening his hair (and outgrew the bowl cut thank god) but the habit of staying indoors stayed with him. 

Elionor experimented with dying the ends of her hair when she was younger. the blues and pinks never really showed through because her hair was brown, but she liked it, so that’s all that really mattered. she also wrote fanfiction and posted it to online forums despite technically not being old enough to use them.

after losing their father and having their mother leave them, it was hard for Briony and Innes to feel noticed within the large Thorburn family. they went about trying to feel accepted in different ways. Briony, obviously, was loud and learned to announce her presence to feel heard. Innes preferred a more subtle approach, learning a particular relative’s interests and schedules to find a way to slowly do little things to win them over. stuff like doing their chores or completing their hair. 

Carby was like… basically a baby at this point. so… [insert toddler personality trait here]

Diya definitely did extracurriculars at school. she won the spell fair (like the science fair but… y’know… spells) three years in a row and was a member of the book club that included a tournament with other schools at the end of the school year (which she won, duh) she was pretty competitive with it, too. 

Gavin… thinking about his childhood makes me so not ok. he realized pretty early on he was basically a sacrifice to a tournament his family would never win. Gavin knew about the tournament, and realized he would be the champion, and had always seen how distant his parents were, but didn’t realize what that really meant until a bit later. 

OK BUT SERIOUSLY THANK U FOR REQUESTING THIS!

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

had to put these on hold for a while for personal reasons </3 they're likely to still be infrequent, but in honor of kirb2k!

(my notes would only load back to mid september so I missed a couple weeks sorry :c but be warned that this is a long one! it's 3 entire months' worth!)

also, reminder that kirb2k ends tomorrow!!! preorders, commissions, and auctions will all close at noon pst on sunday december 17th! everything is linked in the pinned post or filed under the tag kirb2k!

first is one more birthday kirb from my friend @sleepy-sheep-wizard:

Realized halfway thru that I don’t know what Kirby looks like off the top of my head, so I got funky with it. Happy birthday, thank you for being a good friend

thank you again friend <3 getting funky with it is truly in the spirit of just drawing a little guy for fun, I love his little hat in particular.

on [mirror] @shapeshifterwithafez said: uuuh is Scherben bringen Glück/ Shards bring luck a universal saying? sounfs clinky as a direct translation. anyways in germany we say that shards of stuff you broke brings luck so I hope the luck finds you or smth sorry for rambling ^^

I'd never heard this saying before, but I think it's very sweet! thank you for sharing it with me :)

on [pipefight] @hauntedppgpaints said: goalies with a skate blade and their stick in hand

big hockey vibes for real yeah lol

on [pink] @gaydiation-poisoning said: ...I wanna eat that pink

honestly same, it's sooo pleasing

on [rain] @hive-heart said: Everything alright, daily kirby guy?

not really but sitting by the window in the rain is a good thing lol thanks for asking <3

(also the person who tagged that same post myhouse.wad made me laugh)

on [photo] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] a picture of their cat and said: get adored idiot!! see the hate in her eyes? I’ll make her love me yet!!

me @ my partner's cat

@violet-dragongirl said: oh! I have been meaning to ask! Have you played Kirby and The Forgotten Lands? I assume you did but just wanted to say that I did about a week ago and I loved it and thought of your art! ^.^ And if you haven't, yes, Carby is super adorable and amazing :3

I have! I got it very shortly after it came out, I had a really good time with it. I've been slowly replaying it recently with my partner, they were kind of fond of kirby just by proxy but since we started playing they adore bandee now and say he never gets enough screen time XD I'm glad you also had fun!

on [mice] @ceylonsilvergirl said: girls like swarms of things, right?

idk bro my wife wasn't so big on it when I got a gig housing 30 mice, but maybe she's weird. I liked them. (sadly one of the best paying jobs I've ever had up until the owner lost it and abandoned them with me, yes I still took care of them for the rest of their little lives) (and yes I also got my wife's okay before I took them on in the first place)

on [covid] @mordantivore said: reading posts from when the era of covid safety was declared anathema and ended is haunting. we were so desperate to find ppl willing to help us stay alive. there are fewer of us now bc “allies” are worthless & more of us have died

yeah. fuck. I'm lucky that the people in closest proximity to me are at least moderately careful, but me and my wife and partner are usually the only ones wearing masks anywhere we go except sometimes the employees and I know they don't always wear them when they're out without me.

on [swim] @northeasternwind said: Jdjdjfkg imagining Kirby being way more bouyant than your average human so them gotta exhale REAL HARD or attach nega-floaties (sinkies?) like weights to dive

lol yeah they probably gotta try So Hard to actually get under the water. (I think diving weights/ballast is a thing that humans use too? I've never gone diving, having my face underwater stresses me out -n- )

on [float] @nickiemoot said: he has to go now. his planet needs him. *slide whistle*

I can only hear this as that one similar part from one of the asdfmovies, it delights me

@vampiricarus said: if you see this just know i love your art so much

aww thank you! <3

anonymous said: just wanted to say I love Kirby and I love your art! I’m always excited to see it on my dash. thank you for bringing a little joy to my life :) I need it once in a while like I’m sure a lot of others do too! Keep up the good work :))

thank you! drawing a little guy brings me a little joy too, I'm glad it can do the same for others <3

on [drain] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Existing is hard work sometimes. A lot of the time

fuck dude it sure is <3 especially when my body keeps trying to shut down lol

on [mud] @why-are-all-the-fun-urls-taken said: Hey man are u doing ok

I am not, thanks for asking <3

on [tummyache] @hobgirl said: :o kirby the gorb why would you do that!!!!! why!!!!!

I didn't want it to go to waste!!! everyone is dumb sometimes!!!

on [wizard] @eau-the-agony said: not enough appreciation in the wizarding world for garlic salt spell. its all kung pow penis tgis and ketamine ape that. not enough of the small joys which carry us through the horrors like a dinky garbage raft

you are so right. the small joys are the most powerful of all.

on [wizard] @beepbeepdespair said: somehow didnt know garlic salt was a thing until this moment. now i really want some. i think i just found a kg of it online for 12 quid??

I am so pleased that you now have the knowledge of Garlic Salt Spell, I hope you got to try it out for yourself :D

on [zelda] @chaos-squared said: Good job!! I’ve had it for longer yet still haven’t completed it ;w;

nothing wrong with that! I only finished it as quickly and thoroughly as I did because I was basically bedridden for all of october, as long as you enjoy the time you do spend with a game it doesn't really matter how much time you spend or how far you get.

on [brave] @gudetamalover said: me tomorrow afternoon when I get all four wisdom teeth out

I'd already had several other oral surgeries on account of Weird Teeth before I got my wisdom teeth out but it still knocked me on my ass for a couple days, I hope your recovery went as smooth as possible! (altho that was also like. 15 years ago. and general anesthesia has gotten a lot better since then.)

on [shiny] @angst-and-fajitas said: Like to slap his bald head reblog to slap his bald head

bald! bald! bald! bald!

on [powerwash] @chronicdilf said: decemberb 16 im goign to walk across the damn stage get my damn diploma folder im going to go home and POWERWASHER SIMULATOR JUST LIKE KIRBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah!!! you're gonna do it!!! you might be doing it right now even!!!

on [cooked] @hobgirl said: oh mood kirby..... struggling with the very last paper i need to write before i can graduate and its got me feeling this way fr

ough, I hope you made it through your paper! lots of people graduating tho that's so cool, congrats to both of you!

on [bears] @jupiterlandings said: I get so happy every time I see Cake and the name Cake being tagged :)

it's such a good name for a bear, I'm grateful you thought of it!! especially given the best I could do for the other one was "kirbear" lol

@violet-dragongirl said: omg seeing that Fav Grobs Post you recently put up makes me so happy! over a thousand (and then some!) GORBS?! :D I'm not only impressed but so proud ya made it this far and I'm so glad you got possibly more to go of Kirby!! :D!! Really great job 🥰🥰

thank you! I'm gonna hit 2000 days of drawing kirby tomorrow, that's so wild!

on [popular] @timeturner-jay said: Op your Kirby art brings so much utter joy you have no idea <3

yay I'm glad <3 I love to draw a little guy, it's good I'm not the only one having fun lol

I got a lot of "good blaze op" on the [macarena], and you're all correct, thank you for recognizing my great decision making B) (I'd been meaning to add the music and blaze it from basically the moment I drew it, I've just been really sick so it took a while.)

(also even if I don't always gather them in the roundup there are names I recognize showing up repeatedly in the tags, some of whom have been here for years, and I'm always glad to see you're still around!)

[random-rabid-creature]

Hello kirby comunity

This is my essay on why kirby planet robobot is such an amazing game and how the robobot armor is better than any other gimmick in every kirby game existing and to exist aka me rambleing about my favorite kirby game of all time

Aslo this will contain spoilers of the game! Go play it if you can first

About the game

In a nutshell, kirby destroys capitalisim wich i stan but in depht

Some mf called haltmanm or smt like that tries to mechanise popstar wich is not good so kirby has to beat the shit out of him now, they have to go trhu some areas to then get to haltmann so they beats him but then it results that they where mechanasing planets to give power to a super computer wich wants to kill the whole universe bc that was what their og creator wanted or smt like that so kirby has to destroy it in the most epic and cool final battle of all fucking time. Oh and aslo that computer is the most evil kirby villian before dark matter like i wanna kill them irl so badly, but that was a very straight foward resume ofc thats not the whole game

Graphic axpect

You will find so many amazing backgrounds and levels and very creative and cool bosses, they mechanised my homeboy whispy! Can you belive that? There are like 6 areas and all of them have their respective theme but it's just executed so fucking well, like it makes me disolve, it does not look forgor kand level good bc... we are talking abt the fucking 3DS what did you expect but yet still it looks so good

Soundtrack

I can NOT for the life of me explain how good the songs and remixes are, you need to hear them like they are so fun and pretty

I want you to hear this masterpiece of a song, and i want you to tell me if you like it, there are alot more songs ofc but this is my favorite, best dedede theme in MY heart 💖

How does it plays?

Very good, very smooth, love it, i will never not love going around the levels, it's just so good

The robobot armor

Mouthful mode is mid compared to the robobot armor, yea yea carby and coneby are cute and funny but you are gonna tell me that that is better than a full-on mecha that can copy abilities, lift heavy objets and do a fucking double jump? I can't take you srs if you ever say that, it's fun it's cool and bet that thing can do everything that mouthful mode can do but better, everytime there was a robobot armor session on a level i was fr ecxited abt it

Side modes

Very fun, you got two lite versions of spin-off games, meta knightmare and the arena but... the TRUE arena... that fucking thing destroyed my sanity, i died like two times at the very end, restarted alot bc i really couldn't take too much damage or else i was done, it was a nightmare, but belive me when you finally beat it it's gonna fell like if you entered heaven fr fr tip: use rock always and ration your health on the firsts rounds or u r done

Collectibles

The stickers are fun, i really like the special ones, some are very hidden and i needed a guide for it but it was fun! There are only 200 of those if i'm not wrong, oh and you can put it to the armor too! Only two unfortunaly but it can look nice

How did it made me feel?

I 100% it two times, it was aslo the first game i 100% ever bc it was that good, when i finally finished it it felt great but i felt empty afterwards, it was so good, loved every single thing of it, would erase my momery abt it so i can reply it and feel that joy again, man i even wanna cry of how much i miss it, i swear if that thing gets a rtdld type of remake i'm gonna chop my tiddies of on god

Conclusion

It was such a good game it my eyes, and if you ever play it i hope it's aslo a good game in yours, it has amazing songs, amazing art, amazing side stuff, amazing everything, it was so fun and cool and i hope it gets a remake soon

[neriyon]

Actually that Azem Emet rant had me thinking about Polaris too iuefhieufh.

I don't remember if I've talked about Polaris before but he's Eleos' familiar! Biiiiig fluffy kitty (think of like, very big norwegian forest cat) who was very smart and had some sort of mental connection to Eleos. Eleos mostly used Polaris as a messenger, spy and an alarm bell - he'd have it bring messages and keep an eye on things when he himself was away on Azem duties. If something bad happened, Polaris would mentally alarm him so he'd know to head back as fast as possible. And while Eleos never met Hawu'li during his visit to Elpis, Polaris was actually around keeping an eye on the curious little "familiar". Mostly because Eleos got so confused about people thanking him for his "cat familiar" helping with things - when Polaris very clearly lacked thumbs and speech to do those kinds of jobs.

And the point here is that I kinda just realized that since Carby already acts bit weird for normal carbuncle, what if it has some of Polaris' aether in it? Either it seeking out it's previous master, or Eleos giving his little shard a small gift as an apology for fucking up his life. Small cuddly friend like his cat used to be, to keep company and help out like brave little Polaris used to.

[umichenginabroad]

Week 12: My First “Last” of the Semester

We are getting closer to the end and “last times” are slowly coming up :( This weekend was the last trip of the semester, which was one of my favorite trips so I am glad at least this “last” ended in a bang!

Before we talk about where I went, let’s start with my week in Prague. It was a short week for me because I spent the majority of it traveling but we still had some good memories. As I get back into running, a few IFSA peers and I have started doing sunset runs.

Sunsets have always been something I loved because it is never the same. Each day, the sun and the clouds cast a different view onto the sky and it only happens within that 30-minute window each day, which makes it so special. Seeing it hit the terracotta roofs in Prague just makes it that much better!

I also started collecting postcards to send to my friends back home. This took some hesitation and convincing myself to start because it seemed like such a commitment in the beginning. I was already collecting pins from each city so finding another souvenir on top of that was a little overwhelming. However, I really missed my friends and wanted to express my appreciation so I just decided to follow through with it. Finding the right postcard for everyone has been a little difficult but surprisingly, I have been enjoying the writing and mailing process. The anticipation of when they will receive it has made it more exciting and fun.

Now, we are off to Italy!! This was the last trip so I had to make it big, meaning that there were many legs to this trip. We managed to hit Milan, all five towns of Cinque Terre, and Genoa. Thinking about it makes me exhausted all over again but it was the best trip of this semester.

As soon as we landed in Milan, the sun was beaming down, and that made all the difference. Unlike Prague, everyone was out and the city was just livelier. And of course, we are in Italy so we had to get gelato right away. Gelato here lives up to the hype. I have never had a gelato that could even compare to gelato in Italy. The diet did get a little ridiculous towards the end though. I started despising anything carby because all we ate for the past 3 days was bread, pizza, and pasta with limited protein or vegetables :( My body was desperately craving micronutrients and I knew that because could feel a cold brewing. After an itchy throat and runny nose, I made sure to get my nutrients with juices or smoothies to curb this sickness.

The highlight of this trip was Cinque Terre. Anywhere you looked, it was just a beautiful view of mountains and water and the cherry on top was the colorful houses. Also, I was just craving an open body of water. It was so calming sitting along the waters on the rocks and hearing the waves crash. We even got to hike between the five towns, which was a good break from all the cities we have been visiting. The vibes of this trip were just a lot slower, which was what I needed after a very long and exhausting semester. 

Have a good week everyone. I will be back next week!

Janice Liu

Computer Science

Tech Career Accelerator in Prague

[malik-asayf]

[precisemuseum]

     “Hey there, Ringo~! One Ouroboros coming right up!”

The space next to Ouroboros warped with a swirling fwish. And then, with a bursting pop! Ecolo appeared.

     “That was entirely too abrupt! How about warning us before popping out of the ether, or actually confirming that we've finished preparing our solutions before just offloading chaos at our door?!” Ringo said.

     “Ahahahaha! But this way I get to surprise you!” Ecolo was sporting a carefree attitude as always.

     “Arghh, Ecolo—!” Ringo let out a frustrated groan and stomped her foot against the ground. 

     “Let’s not get hung up on that now! You have a battle with Ouroboros to focus on, so break a leg!”

Urgh… Ouroboros… I don’t really even want to look at the thing. Because it’s scary. ...Not like I could say that out loud, though!

The red and black snakes were still firmly entwined around those white gates. They lifted their heads and stared in our direction, swaying slightly back and forth. Their tongues flicked in and out. 

     “We were planning to savor the power emanating from these gates…”

     “Yet you continue to interrupt Us. How dare you...”

     “We may have overlooked your insolence once before...”

     “...but now, We shall smite you for testing Our patience!”

The two snakes alternated their speech in those horrible hissing voices. Waah, they really were scary—!

     “Ahahaha~ Ouroboros is kinda fuming because I dragged them through space-time~♪” Ecolo held their sides as they laughed, spinning in circles midair.

H-how can they keep that happy-go-lucky attitude in a situation like this?

     “Uhm, hey, Ecolo…” I said, figuring I might as well ask, “Are you gonna help us?”

I think Ringo once said something about Ecolo being really strong, so if they help us out…

     “Nope!” Ecolo said immediately.

     “Oh come onnn! You could at least do just a lil’ bit!” I pouted.

In response, Ecolo let out a hmmm and raised their fingers…? Or should I say finger-like lumps? Either way, they drummed them against their mouth.

     “Don't think I'll be much help here anyway. I've kinda got my hands full with keeping this fragment of space-time sealed up tight so Ouroboros can't run off.”

     “R-really…?” I replied.

     “Yeah, really! It might look like I’m hanging around doing nothing, but I’m working reeeeeally hard! I’m doing a job nobody else can do!” 

     “Oh, wow! That’s incredible!”

     “Ehehe!” Ecolo puffed out their chest.

     “Amitie…” Ringo muttered in a low whisper, “That was your cue to reprimand Ecolo for bragging.”

H-huh? 

     “That’s Amitie for you…” Arle sighed. “Well anyway, we have to make do with our team here, right? Got it…” Switching gears, she called out a command. 

     “Here we go, Carby! Everyone gear up!” Following her lead, everyone’s faces turned serious, and we broke into a run. 

Arle, Ringo, and I have worked together to pull off giant chains a bunch of times before. But this time we had a group of four with Ally, and we had to figure out how to fire a giant Synchro Chain off on top of that. Could we really pull it off...? No, we had to!

     “The result will be the same no matter how many times you try…”

     “Even if you defeat one of Us, the other will simply revive the fallen.” 

     “And thus, defeating Us is… Hm?”

Ouroboros had been laughing and making fun of us, but both of its heads tilted to the side in confusion once it saw that we had split into two groups. Then both heads exchanged glances.

     “We see… You seem to have come up with a plan,” it hissed.

I was building a chain with Ally, while Arle and Carbuncle were doing the same with Ringo. 

     “You aim to defeat both of Us at once… Is that your scheme?”

They figured us out right away. But who cares! There’s no other way to win anyway, right? I wondered if Ouroboros was getting nervous… I took a quick glance, but they seemed unbothered.

     “Do you truly think you have any hope of success…?”

     “Even if you breathe as one, you will never surpass the connection We have shared since Our very birth...”

It was making fun of us again! Aaack!

Right as I was starting to feel seriously intimidated, Ally’s voice flew over to me.

     “Amitie! Focus on the chain in front of you… Next, place that blue Puyo over here!”

     “I-I got it! Sorry! Uhm, ack…” I tried my best to focus while Ally checked in on the others.

     “Is everything going all right over there?” she asked Arle’s group.

     “I think we’ve got it…” Arle replied. “Put that yellow Puyo over there for me, Carby!”

     “Gu-gugu~!”

Oh, right. It wasn’t just Ally I had to sync with. I had to match the others as well. Though… Huh? How far were we in this chain again? What color Puyo was I supposed to put next to this blue one I just put down…?

     “Yes, panic! What you seek to accomplish is impossible! Sss hahaha ssss…!”

Aaah! Shut up a bit so I can think, Ouroboros! 

I tried to ignore the horrible hissing noises and the creepy voices coming from its swaying heads, but they still wormed their way into my ears. The panic descended from my head to my chest, clenching around my heart. Every beat of it carried a pang of anxiety that told me I was fighting all alone. 

I knew that I had to stop panicking. I knew that I had to focus on the chain I was building. But I couldn’t shake these feelings! Augh! What do we do if our plan fails because I panicked and messed something up? I could feel myself starting to tear up, when…

     “It is possible! We will show you it is possible!” Ally’s voice rang out. “In fact, this is a decidedly easy task for us! So, how could we possibly not succeed?!”

Huh? Easy? You’re kidding me, right...? Really?

     “Ally…?” I asked.

     “We will succeed because… We have love on our side—!”

....... 

Lifting my face, I glanced at Ally, who was still stacking Puyo with all her might. Ally wasn’t saying anything out of the ordinary for her, but she looked really keyed up!

     “Ouroboros! You may have warped me here, but this is where your luck runs out!” she declared.

    “ Oh…?” Ouroboros said.

     “I have learned so much about love from the people here! They have taught me the many names of love, and immersed me in love anew!”

     “Love… Sss hahaha sss… How pointless.”

     “You may laugh all you wish! But now, you will face the power of our love, and you will have no choice but to reflect upon your misdeeds! Isn’t that right, Amitie?” 

Ally’s voice was unwavering, but there was no smile to be found on her face. It was as if she was trying to convince herself with her own words. Oh. I wasn’t the only one who was afraid… Ally was too. Barely holding on herself, she had called out my name. I had no choice but to trust her… No, I wanted to trust her!

I hear you loud and clear, Ally! I’ve received your “love”!

     “Of course!” I said without missing a beat in stacking Puyo, “The love we share is super unbeatable right now!” 

     “Yes, we are now in love!”

I could hear a difference in Ally’s voice now. It sounded happier.

     “And we’re perfectly synced in love over here too, right, Ringo?” said Arle.

     “Sure, though I wouldn’t opt to phrase it like that myself!” came the response.

So, Arle and Ringo chimed in for some extra reassurance. And then…

Puyo! Puyo! Puyo puyo…

     “We are almost there!” Ally said.

     “We’re just about ready to go!” As I said that, I looked over to Arle and Ringo.

     “Nice timing!” Arle cheered.

     “Gu-gugu~♪”

     “Right, one more move and we’re ready as well!” Ringo said.

W-wow! Our timing really was perfecto~! We did it. This had to be it, right?

     “This is the power of love!” Ally shouted cheerfully.

In other words, time to get started?

     “Ready, go!” we all shouted.

Puyo! Puyo puyo-yo puyo-yo-yo-yo puyo~n!

Puyo! Puyo puyo-yo puyo-yo-yo-yo puyo~n!

The two giant chains popped away, each building power. Arle and I nodded to each other, and…

     “BAYOEEEEEN~!”

We fired off our best spell with our best chains! Our giant chains of love were ready to slam into both heads of Ouroboros at the same time. You could see a giant pile of Nuisance Puyo hovering above them each! We had them…!

     “Hmph… So you managed to match your chains properly.”

     “Very well done. And yet…”

     “You’re still far too naive!”

...Huh? Wh-wh-why was Ouroboros still grinning? Was it really not bothered by this at all?

In a single moment, all of my hype disappeared, replaced by a terrible sinking feeling. But I didn’t even have time to really feel the anxiety, because in the next moment…

WHAAAM—!

WHAAAM—!

The giant pile of Nuisance Puyo fell from above onto Ouroboros… 

Phew, our chains are setting off just as planned, but...

...HUUUH?! You've got to be kidding me?!

What I saw next made my head spin.

[thetoadfan]

Here's some SigErica headcanons i came up with bc yes:

-Sig actually does end up joining Erica on her Ohayo dance, maracas included. (though Sig's are blue and red) Sig isn't as excited to do it as she is, but he does it for her sake more than anything else, which makes both of them happy at least.

-Erica is one of the few people Sig allows to see his personal bug haven back in primp (the others being Arle, Lidelle and Amitie) but only under his watch bc he does fear her clumsiness will cause her to squash some of them by accident, considering what happens when Erica does fuck up shit in Sakutai 3, i don't blame him.

-Sig refers to Erica primarily by the nickname Alisa due to mishearing her name when they both first met, and he never ends up stop calling her that and Erica got used to that overtime. Erica refers to him exclusively as Shigu or red That Guy, Sig doesn't mind either name but he prefers to be just called Sig but he never bothers to tell her about it. Also try guessing the reference in the Alisa nickname.

-Most of the other Paris revue members are very confused as to why Erica choose Sig out of anyone else to be with, though his fellow magic school students + Arle & Carby don't seem to mind Erica too much, even if Klug is a bit jealous Sig got a girlfriend before he did first

[clatterbane]

Oh yes, Mr. C has offered several times to pick up some GF buns--which are readily available here!--and cook me some easy to eat, actually good homemade burgers with the cheese(s) of my choice. 😅

I will probably have to take him up on that before too long, because it is sounding awfully appealing. Even though I have never been a huge burger person. And, of course, I appreciated the thoughtfulness.

What I am maybe even more curious about now, though, is hot dogs!

You can't find a GF bun for love nor money in Britain, and I was just having to make do with sandwich bread when I got the urge. Or try to MacGyver a (never very satisfying 😑) solution using other types of rolls.

I got sick enough of soggy falling-apart sandwich bread hot dogs when my mom decided that was a great quick meal option without going to the store, when we were getting low on some supplies.

Then I found myself choosing to make them occasionally as the least bad option--with less flexible GF bread which wanted to break in half whenever you tried to wrap it around something, to boot! Never saw that one coming. No wonder the tunnbrödsrulle started looking like such an appealing alternative. Besides just being very satisfying in their own extra-carby way.

But anyway, people do eat enough more hot dogs here that celiac-friendly buns for sausages are also in pretty much every store. I am really looking forward to my first actual hot dog bun in 15+ years, tbqh. 🌭

(Plus, every hot dog place offers whatever sausages they have with mashed potatoes instead of--or in addition to!--the bun. Besides being able to get pretty much all kebab/falafel place stuff with fries instead of bread. So many more options to grab a quick bite out.)

[heavenlysphere]

🌹 . maximum three

Oh boy I have a lot of those!

“I lost again...”. She merely whispered, “Why can’t I be seen as who I am? I’m Arle!”

“Huh? Don’t you remember, I told you already that you can’t replace anybody?” Arle cocked her head, approaching the doppelgänger. This whole thing was... odd. The last thing in Arle’s ears about that day was a sorry and a thank you. But this doppelganger seemed still upset, still angry. That was weird.

Doppelgänger Arle’s brow furrowed, her biting her lip as she pushed off nuisance from her, “I don’t. You merely only looked shocked as I disappeared.”

“Eh? Didn’t you teleport me away?” Arle scratched her head, confused as ever, “Carby, weren’t you in a box?” Carbuncle chirped that he was. Doppelgänger Arle looked over at him.

“You’d never lie, Carbuncle. But I don’t remember that at all... What’s...” Doppelgänger Arle asked, but stopped mid-sentence as Arle helped clear the rest of the garbage Puyos, offering a hand up.

•

Though they still searched, daily life continued, getting into skirmishes and arguments with Puyo. Or at least Rulue did. Lala never much considered herself a fan of the game, despite the powering up magic, and she’d never seen Camus play in his life. As growing older, her crush never faded, but at least she stopped chasing him.

•

“Ex, when I was contemplating... erasing my past,” Squares said, “You said something about The Wanderer playing me like a fiddle. Tormenting me about my past. Though in person he’s more of an annoyance than anything. You know this from experience, don’t you?” Though Squares’ tone and intent wasn’t malicious, he narrowed his eyes. Wanting the other to be fully honest. Ex kept his tongue on how ironic it was that he was giving him a look when in the conversation he told Squares about Ecolo, Squares had snapped at him for giving a sympathetic look about his and Marle’s drifting.

Ex let out a sigh, finishing the game. He supposed he should say tell the tale. But he could practically hear the Wanderer’s giggles in his mind. Ecolo wasn’t an evil sort. They caused problems on purpose, but that was honestly it. Besides perhaps past destroyed worlds, but who knew how long or how short that was. Content with rainbow blobs and exploring other worlds for the meantime. Not to mention, it was still a wound in his chest, even after he’d gotten some help.

“It’s a long story really.”

“We’ve got time.”

“Yeah, we do.” Ex scratched the back of his head, sighing once again before continuing, “Like I said it’s a long story. It’s not easy to summarize, but it’s also hard to tell in it’s entirety. I’m not sure exactly where to begin. I guess becoming the Keeper will have to do.

“But spacetime is tricky. We exist outside of the worlds, viewing them, but we’re still in spacetime. Does that make sense?”

[willow-salix]

(Fluffember Prompt : Picnic)

Day 5 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0

“Are you going to eat all that yourself?” Gordon asked as he sidled up to me in the kitchen. I was making noodles, nice, simple, stir fried noodles, a little bit of chicken, some veg and a sweet and sour dippy sauce. Lush.

“No,”  I answered. There was clearly far too much for me to eat alone, I had a Space Hubby around here somewhere… or possibly up there somewhere, it was hard to tell.

“Oh, cool, can I ha-”

“No.”

Cue the pout, the epic Gordo pout. I am immune. I never thought I would ever be able to say that, but I’ve grown stronger, more able to resist the bottom lip of doom. Just about. I remember that I tried that once with John, and his exact words had been “Don’t even try, that won’t work on me, I’m immune, I have two younger brothers.” I’d thought his confident speech had been all bravado and false hope, but he might have actually been telling the truth, my pouts rarely worked on him and the ones that the terrible two dished out never did. Was my man secretly a god? I mean, I thought so, I’d seen him with his top off, but maybe, just maybe he had hidden talents. Hmmm…

“You’ve got that look on your face again.”

“What look?” I asked, needing to clarify his meaning so I could decide if I needed to be insulted or not.

“The one you get when you’re staring at John or that guy from that old TV show, the Scottish one with the time travel.”

“Jamie Fraser is the most perfect of men, he is the ultimate in husband goals, he is…” I trailed off and shrugged. “I obviously have a thing for hot redheaded men.” 

“Urghh,” he made a face similar to the one that Scott made when Alan shoved his shoe under his nose last week. Like he wanted to throw up but wasn’t sure which way to aim.

“Why are you in here anyway?” I asked. “Was it just so you could bug me and judge me? I’m busy here, I’m trying to cook.”

He snorted, a scoffing little noise that was quite rude.

“What now?” I sighed.

“Cooking isn’t that hard.”

“Oh really? Then why is it that barely anyone in this house seems to be capable of it? It’s not just a case of grabbing some random ingredients, tossing them in a pot with a prayer for luck and you’re good to go.”

He declined to comment and wandered off without another word. I should have been terrified, but my bean sprouts were trying to burn so I pushed it aside to worry about later. That was my first dumb move.

My second dumb move was to actually leave the comfort of the couch and John’s recently vacated warm spot.

“What the everloving crap was that?” I yelped when a loud crash sounded from the kitchen below us. I poked John gently when he failed to react. “Did you hear that?”

“Since I’m not deaf, it would have been impossible for me not to,” he casually swiped something away on his tablet and started reading again.

“What did they do?” 

“And since I do not, in fact, have the ability to see through walls, I don’t know.”

“Go and find out.”

You’d have thought I was asking him to go shopping with me again.

“I don’t think so, you go.”

“They’re your brothers.”

“You’re the one that cares.”

“They’re your brothers,” I repeated.

He gave me that look of his that promises retribution as I rolled sideways to let him get up, rolling back to steal his spot the second he moved. I dragged his blanket over my knees (I’m feeling chilly today) and stole his tablet to watch videos on as he walked away. 

I got so engrossed, having fallen down a hole of cute hamster videos, that I didn’t realise for a full twenty minutes that John had failed to return. I had sudden and very detailed visions of my poor boy hogtied and left baking in the sun or some such nonsense. I unwrapped myself from my blanket burrito and started my very slow and reluctant walk towards the kitchen. 

“What are you doing?” I yelled the second I rounded the corner, entered the room and saw the scene before me. They all froze guiltily, including John, who was at that very second groping blindly around in the pantry. And when I say blindly, I mean it literally, he was wearing a blindfold that by the looks of it, had been made by them tying my shawl around his head. I don’t know what they were thinking, if anything I’m a little surprised that I’ve never seen smoke coming out of their ears when their two remaining brain cells rub together to give them an idea.

The other idiots were all standing around in various places, standing guard over small piles of produce like dragons over their gold. 

“What the hell is going on in here? And how the hell have you roped him in?”

“Hang on, he’s got twenty more seconds yet,” Alan told me, clicking a button on his comm again. “Go!”

John resumed his digging around, knocking over two jars of mustard and an open packet of pasta which poured out like a carby waterfall. He ignored it.

“Gordon?” I turned to the likely culprit.

“Why are you picking on me?” he asked innocently. "Why do you always assume it's my doing?" 

“Are you honestly trying to tell me that you had nothing to do with this?  Whatever this actually is.”

“We’re having a picnic,” Virgil told me.

“It’s blindfolded kitchen shopping,” Kayo elaborated. I switched my glare to her, she was involved, I could tell, mostly because she still had one of her workout head wraps around her neck and had her own pile of goodies on the counter in front of her.

“It was Scott’s idea,” Alan piped up, throwing his brother under the bus. “Time!”

John dropped the item in his left hand, retaining the one in his right and backed out of the pantry. He pulled off his blindfold and gathered up his treasures, a bag of donuts, a can of whipped cream and in his hand a tin of spaghetti hoops.

“What was Scott’s idea?”

“Well, when you told me that cooking was easy-” 

“I said no such thing. I told you that it wasn’t as simple as just bunging some ingredients in a…” I trailed off, I could already see where this was going and I wasn’t impressed.

“Exactly, throw some ingredients together and make food. Easy.”

“Not easy,” I insisted.

“So I happened to mention it to Scott, who said that he agreed, you can make anything if you’re creative enough-”

“You should not be learning from the Grandma Tracy school of cookery!”

“The rules are simple,” Gordon continued as if I had never spoken. “One minute to select three ingredients, all of which must be used in the finished dish. You’re allowed to add two more ingredients to aid the construction but that’s all. You can do whatever you want with what you have, be as elaborate or as simple as you like. You must taste your own dish, as does everyone else when everything will be shared as a picnic.”

He looked so damned proud of himself, the little snot.

“How did the rest of you numpties get involved in this?” I sighed, knowing I was beaten. No one answered me. Giving up, my blanket nest calling me, I retreated towards the door.

“Do you want to join in?” Virgil asked innocently.

“No, I really don’t.”

“Do you not have as much faith in your cooking skills as we do in ours?” Alan teased. 

I paused in the doorway.

“Dare you, unless you’re scared,” Kayo threw in, just to stir the pot.

“Dammit!” She knew exactly what she was doing, I can NEVER resist a dare.

“Gimme a blindfold.”

Alan tossed me his, which I think was a football sock, but I didn’t want to look at it too closely, I just prayed it was clean. I tied it around my head and Scott checked to make sure I couldn’t see anything. I don’t know what he did, because obviously I couldn’t see anything, but it made a few of them snigger, so I’m obviously suspicious.

Alan started the timer and I groped my way around the table to the fridge.

“Forty-five seconds!”

Crap! This was actually pretty stressful. How did you pick something without seeing it? I decided to stick to one place and hope for the best, open the fridge, feel around, grab some bits, done! Right?

Easier said than done when you have recently gone shopping, the fridge is packed to bursting and you can’t tell what anything is.

“John! Grab this!” I demanded as Alan happily started counting down from twenty as my time ticked away. I grabbed something small and weird, no idea what it was and tossed it over my shoulder in what I guessed was his general direction, hoping he caught it.

I fumbled around and selected something round and cold, that I hoped might be a tomato and held that out too, then in desperation I yanked out a random box just as Alan called time.

I pulled off my blindfold and looked at the things John was holding for me, which turned out to be an apple and a tiny radish. I was holding a carton of eggs. Could have been worse.

“Let the food prep begin,” Gordon declared. “No helping each other.”

Sighing I got to work. Obviously, eggs would be my main ingredient, I cracked four into a bowl and whisked them together. 

“Do we have to use all of the ingredients we picked out?” I asked.

“Yes, every one.”

“No, I meant do I have to use the entire apple or the entire box of eggs,” I clarified.

“Oh, no you don’t, it just has to have them in there.”

“Cool, OK, and we get two extra ingredients of our choice?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.” That was me sorted then. I grabbed a grater and shredded a quarter of the apple and less than an eighth of the tiny radish. I wasn’t a big fan of those spicy little buggers, I don’t like pepper and they definitely have a peppery quality to them, but I was hoping the sweetness of the apple would balance it out.

I opened the fridge again and selected some cheese which I shredded and some ham, chopping it up quite fine. That would do.

I set a pan on the stove top and waited for it to heat up.

“Do I get to use any kind of oil or something to stop my food sticking?” I asked.

The ringleaders, Gordon and Scott, looked at each other, obviously indulging in some kind of non-verbal conversation I wasn't privy to before making their decision.

“Yes you can,” Scott graciously allowed.

“Thank you.” I dumped in a generous knob of butter. Quickly I sloshed the eggs into the pan, and fluffed them up a little with a fork before I turned the heat down a bit and let them sizzle.

I glanced over at Alan who was constructing something with jam and a pile of cookies. Scott was wrestling with a can of tuna and Gordon was opening a carton of custard.

I sprinkled a little of the apple on top of the egg, then a tiny dusting of radish, followed by a large handful of cheese and ham. I eased the sides of my omelette away from the pan, making sure it wasn’t sticking and checking it was cooking.

John, I noticed, was doing something weird with a lettuce leaf that he had procured from somewhere, it was not one of his blindfolded items so he must have gotten it after. He had the leaf stretched over a small bowl and was spooning a tiny amount of the tinned spaghetti into it. Sometimes I wonder why I agreed to marry into this family. I must have been drunk.

I carefully folded my omelette in half and turned the heat off, letting it rest and continue cooking a little.

“I’m done,” I declared, turning around to survey the chaos that had become our kitchen. Oh the humanity. I would NOT be cleaning this up.

Alan, it transpired, had blindly chosen cookies, cheese slices and curry sauce left over from some McDonald’s nuggets I got a few weeks ago, bringing them and other goodies with me in the space elevator. His extras appeared to involve pilfering a few of the McVities digestive biscuits that I’d brought from home the day I arrived that Kayo had chosen in her blind scrabble around the snack cupboard. 

He’d proceeded to make a weird stacked thing he was calling a cookie burger which consisted of a cookie base, a layer of jam on top of that, the digestive and lastly a slice of cheese with a drizzle of curry sauce on top.

Gordon was constructing something very elaborate, involving a bowl and lots of layers. His random items appeared to be the custard, half a vanilla sponge cake and a tub of left over chili. My mind was boggling. 

Scott was hacking at a rather stale looking half loaf of bread that John said he found in the rarely used bread bin, I don't know how he'd managed to open the bread bin without seeing it, but apparently he had. He'd also blindly chosen a can of Tuna and a packet of fruit gummies. 

Virgil, the adorable chonk, had managed to choose a package of cocktail weenies, a tin of peaches and a few sticks of celery. He had stared at his bounty for a good few minutes, before giving up and wandering over to the pantry. He'd stared into that too, like he was looking into a black hole or contemplating the mysteries of the universe. 

Eventually he'd chosen a pie crust from the baking shelf and had begun to assemble his creation. He tipped the peaches into the pie dish, chopped up the celery and cocktail sausages and dropped them in on top. He'd looked around, rather desperately I thought, and reached over to steal John's can of whipped cream, squirting a generous amount on top of his frankenpie and called it good. 

Kayo appeared to have more sense than the others, she had been the one to find my stash of digestive biscuits and, after Alan had liberated a few, proceeded to crush them into crumbs which she lined the inside of a bowl with.

"What are you making?" I asked, because it didn't look too awful. 

She continued to construct her…whatever it was…adding some cake pilfered from Gordon, some grated carrot mixed into cream cheese that was one of her chosen extras and topping it all with strawberries. It kinda…vaguely…could be a cheesecake, if you tipped your head to the side and squinted. 

I turned to John, my man, the one that I was supposed to trust with all my heart and soul…he was…I don't know how to describe it. He'd taken the donut and hollowed out a little bit more from the middle hole, then he'd gathered up the sides of his lettuce leaf/ spaghetti hoops thing and had made it into a little parcel, twisting the end closed. He then popped that inside the hollowed out donut. I have no idea why. He'd finished by decorating the top with whipped cream and sprinkles. What was it with them all thinking that whipped cream was the answer to all their problems? Because three of them had done it so far. 

Gordon had sprinkled in a handful of peas, actual peas, on top of his custard layer, then added cream on top. I honestly don't know. 

Scott had moved on from his bread and taken some of John's lettuce, insisting it was his first, and put a leaf on the stale bread and topped that with Tuna and sweetcorn, which actually had the potential to taste OK. Time would tell. He'd used the fruit gummies to decorate the plate with, I'm not sure if that counted but since he and Gordon seemed to be in charge I assumed it was allowed. 

I slid my omelette onto a plate and vaguely wondered if I should grab a few sick bags before the picnic portion of this weird event started. 

They all looked incredibly proud of themselves, why I had no idea, no one should be proud of the mess they had made, this was not food, this was barely a step up from mud pies in the yard. 

They all took their food offerings and trooped outside, setting up camp on one of the picnic benches near the edge of the beach and settled in. 

One by one they presented their masterpieces. Here are the reactions.

SCOTT’S

“This bread’s hard, very hard,” Alan said.

“It’s very fishy,” Gordon said, although we don’t know if it was a bad thing or not.

“Not bad, I could eat it if I had to,” Virgil allowed.

“I don’t like the sweetcorn on it, it keeps rolling away,” John frowned. He was always a bit funny with tinned sweetcorn anyway, he prefers it on the cob.

“That isn’t just hard bread, that is rock bread,” Kayo complained.

“It’s edible, with fresh ingredients I’d eat it again,” I said, trying to be nice. Honestly it wasn’t that bad, I’d definitely eaten worse over the years.

“It’s almost exactly like the subs we made in college,” Scott said, popping the rest in his mouth and chewing happily. He’s weird, that one, he pretends he’s not, he offers the illusion of being the capable, responsible older brother, but it’s all an act.

ALAN’S

“Erm…” Scott hedged, spending at least a minute turning the thing in his hand looking for a way to attack it.  

“I don’t know what to do with this, Al…” Virgil was even less sure.

“Give it here!” I had less issues and snatched it away from Scott. I ripped off a bit of the curry sauce topped cheese slice, licked the sauce off the cheese, popped the cheese in my mouth then took a bite of the sweet stuff. It was hard to get my teeth through all the layers of biscuit, but I managed it. It was actually OK, separating it was the way to go. “That’s actually quite nice.”

John copied me exactly, because I’m the sensible one although he’d never admit to that. “You’re right, it’s not bad.”

 “Wimps,” Gordon bit straight through it, cheese, curry and all. Then he gagged.

Kayo took the cheese off her’s, ate the sweet stuff first then finished with the cheese, an unconventional method but it wasn’t like any of this was normal. She made a noise that could have been approval but could just as easily been a whimper of surrender.

Virgil took the whole thing apart and ate everything separately, one piece at a time, declaring it to be, “Not bad.”

Scott glanced at me with that look in his eye that said he was about to do something stupid… He reached for the curry sauce pot… 

“Scott, no!” I warned him.

He ignored me to tip the rest of the curry sauce on top of the cheese and threw it in his mouth. Immediately he let out a noise that sounded like a mixture between a gag and a burp. He chewed frantically then swallowed. We waited to see what would happen. “Not deadly,” was his verdict.

VIRGIL’S

“I’m sorry, no, I’m not eating that,” I told them, flat out refusing.  “I’m semi allergic to peaches, they give me migraine headaches and I’m not risking it. I’m out.”

“I’m excused because she can’t eat peaches and I won’t risk cross contamination,” John said, leaping on my statement as a way to get out of it.

“That’s a flimsy excuse!” Scott accused, he knew it, John knew it, we all knew it. John didn’t care.

“You’re just mad that you can’t use it,” John said, squeezing my leg under the table in thanks for my weird kinda-allergy. I patted his hand in solidarity.

“No one has to eat it, I did my best,” Virgil winced, knowing that his was likely to be the most disastrous yet.

“I’m in!” Gordon declared, picking out a cocktail weenie and dunking it in the cream before popping it in his mouth. He chewed frantically as he scooped up a spoonful of pie crust, peaches and a slice of celery and shoveled that in after the weenie. He kept chewing, his face registering at least six different emotions, none of them pleasant before he finally swallowed. “It could have been worse.”

Kayo copied Gordon and picked out a weenie which she ate first, on its own.  That’s where she got smart, washing it down with a mouthful of water before continuing. She spooned up some pie, peach, celery and cream concoction and tasted it. “Not bad like this, the celery is a slightly weird addition, but it can be ignored.”

“I feel sick,” Alan said, having shoved a large mouthful in. 

Scott, the brave boy that he is, shrugged and cut a whole slice, lifting it carefully to his mouth.

“He’s a madman…” Alan whispered in awe.

“A brave man…” Gordon added.

“A stupid man…” I sighed.

Scott bit into it, chewing slowly, rolling it around his mouth. “It’s fine.”

I stared at him in utter shock.

Virgil nibbled on a corner, made a face and pushed it away. “No.”

GORDON’S

“What the heck is this?” he of the iron stomach and nuclear powered taste buds asked.

“It’s that thing they did in that show,” Gordon answered, yet Scott still looked bemused, as did we all, blank faces all round.

“Which show, babe?” I felt the need to ask.

“The one with the friends in the coffee shop.”

“You mean ‘Friends’?”

“If that’s what it’s called,” he shrugged. “It’s a meat trifle.”

Cue horrified gasps all around.

“With a few modifications, obviously, since I had to use chili,” he hurried to explain, although it was anything but reassuring.

John pushed his fork into the center of the dish, looking more and more scared the deeper it sank.

“Don’t eat it and just say you did,” I side whispered to him, worried about his stomach since he usually lived on simple and non perishable food in Five.

“I heard that!” Gordon accused as he spoons up a big bite, determined to prove it was edible, and chowed down. “Huh…” he kept chewing, “not bad…”

“Not bad?” Scott goggled. “Are you serious?”

“The chili is good, the custard is good, the cream is nice, the peas are a bit weird but overall it's OK.”

Virgil was the next brave soul to scoop up a tiny forkful and I did the same getting the smallest amount I could onto my spoon, mostly trying to get just custard and cream, although I think I did spot a lurker pea in there.

Kayo and Alan both scooped up a spoonful and shoved it in their mouths, obviously figuring that getting it over with was the best way to tackle it. Kayo spat hers out instantly, Alan managed to chew and swallow his. Virgil got his down but there was a fair bit of gagging.

“It tastes like a foot,” Alan declared.

John took a small bite and reacted almost like a cat with a hairball, his body shuddering, neck stretching as he silently gagged. I handed him a tissue and he gratefully spat it out, sagging against me as if he was about to die.

I looked at Scott, who nodded in return and dug out his own small amount. “On three?”

Scott nodded and began the count. “One...two...three!” We both stuffed our spoons into our mouths. Scott made a face but managed to get it down, my plan had worked and, while the pea was indeed lurking and rather weird, it wasn't that bad a bite and I swallowed without issue, pleased to have survived.

MINE

“This doesn’t look too bad,” Scott said assessingly.

“How dare!” I gasped. “Cheek of it, it looks tasty.”

Virgil cut himself a small portion, being cautious, since everything else has been questionable at best, downright disgusting at worse. 

Gordon cut himself an actual slice, a godsdamned slice of my omelette and lifted it up like he would a piece of pizza then wondered why we were all staring at him like he’d lost his mind.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused. John just shook his head in utter despair at his dingus brothers and cut a more sensible sized bite. 

“I’m sure it will be edible,” he says diplomatically, it’s never good to insult the wife’s cooking even when it is so obviously crap.

Alan, disaster child that he is, cut a bit with the side of his spoon like a damned savage and spooned it up.

Kayo helped herself to a small fork full and got ready.

I reached over and broke a piece off of Gordon’s mega slice. 

“OK, good luck my friends,” I offered as I popped the eggy weirdness in my mouth… it was interesting. Nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, the cheese and ham had mostly drowned out the spicy kick of the radish and the apple had added a weird sweetness to it, but at least it was edible if not to my tastes. I managed to chew it and swallow without choking.

“That’s oddly nice,” John said, chewing slowly, thoughtfully. 

“Well, you are the person that likes baked apple pieces on your pizza,” I shuddered in revulsion at the memory of his birthday meal.

“What a man chooses to put on his pizza is his own business,” he told me.

“Not when it’s that weird.”

“It’s no weirder than pineapple on pizza.”

“He’s right,” Scott interrupted, “this is strangely OK.” He took another bite to make sure.

“I don’t like it, it’s too sweet,” Alan said, making a face. “ I like sweet, but not mixed with savoury like this.”

“I agree,” Virgil said, setting his aside, “it’s too sweet, but you did your best.”

Gordon didn’t say anything, but he was steadily munching through his piece, I watched him, oddly fascinated.

“It’s edible, that’s all I can say about it,” Kayo told me, which for her was a compliment.

“Well? Verdict?” I asked Gordon when he eventually finished.

“I don’t know. I don’t like it or dislike it, it just is.”

“You’re being philosophical over a weird omelette?” Scott laughed.

“Had to happen some time.”

“How? How did it have to happen?” John asked, utterly bemused, looking like his brain was going into a meltdown. “Who says to themselves ‘one day I will have to say something deep and meaningful about a randomly concocted omelette’? How do you even assume that?”

“I never say never,” Gordon shrugged, not caring to explain any further. Personally I don’t think he knew what he meant either but was just brazening it out by that point.

JOHN’S

I picked up his donut creation a little gingerly, because I saw what he’d done to it and I was wary. He obviously saw my hesitation because he lent closer to help.

“Just be careful with it and follow my instructions,” he whispered in my ear under the guise of being romantic.

One eyebrow rose in response...I mean, what do you say to that?

He continued, still whispering. “Bite down gently and try to avoid the sack,” he dropped a kiss on my neck before sitting back in his seat. Smooth, boy, very smooth. My other eyebrow lifted to join its sibling.

“I’m just trying to help,” he assured me.

“You’ve said that before.”

“And you listened then and look how well it turned out,” he said as if that was all the proof I needed.

I heard a snigger from Gordon who was obviously eavesdropping. 

“I was referring to the fact that you often use the excuse of just trying to help,” I sniffed.

“Oh...well…” he tried to look innocent but failed, flashing me one of those devastating grins that just melted me on the spot. “Just taste my damn donut.”

I debated the wiseness of listening to him but decided that, as trust is supposed to be the cornerstone of any good relationship, I should probably pay attention.

“OK, here we go,” I bit down carefully, right at the edge, trying to measure the distance between where my teeth were and the no go zone. I think I brushed the edge of the lettuce leaf but managed to stick to just the donut which, though ever so slightly stale, was still good.

“That’s nice,” I allowed, trying to keep my cover as I passed the donut over to John who took a bite in exactly the same way and therefore stayed safe.

He passed it on to Kayo, who had been watching us intently, studying our moves with her usual mix of suspicion and calculated plotting.

 “You’ve got some cream on your lip,” I was told and sat still while he wiped it away with his thumb.

“What do you think, Kay?” Scott asked. 

Kayo, having executed a perfect bite from the other side of the donut nodded before passing judgement. “Edible.” She was now fully on board with our trickery and would never rat us out as she passed it innocently on to Alan.

Alan, trusting baby that he is, bit blindly into the donut, hitting the lettuce sack which exploded, squirting spaghetti hoop juice into his mouth.

“GAAAH what the…” he yelped, gasping in shock, dropping the demon donut with its hidden core of evil.

Scott picked up the donut, the spaghetti sauce now leaking out freely and soaking into the dough. Uncaring he takes a bite. “Not gonna lie,” he mumbles around his mouthful, “it's not great.” 

Virgil relieved him of the donut and studied it from all sides. The artist in him wants everything to look appetizing and pleasant the whole time, this did not. “This looks hideous.” He nibbled a corner. “Disgusting,” he declared, offering it to Gordon.

Gordon reluctantly accepted it and bit down carefully. He chewed, swallowed and shook his head. “Nope, gross.” 

KAYO'S 

Kayo pushed her bowl over quite proudly. “Dig in.”

It didn’t look that bad, and since I’d seen a lot of what she used I knew the ingredients wouldn’t be that bad when mixed. Hopefully it wouldn't be the obnoxious assault to the tastebuds that some of them had been. 

I slammed my spoon  confidently into it and scooped out a mouthful, popping it in my mouth before I could back out.

“Humm…” I chewed thoughtfully, what did I actually think of it? I couldn’t decide so I just spoke my thoughts as I so often do. “It's quite nice. I mean, biscuit, cake and cream cheese is nice, I don't really like the carrot mixed in but it doesn't ruin it to the point of being disgusting. I like the strawberries, so I guess it’s a win.” 

John followed my lead, digging his spoon in. “That's pretty good.” 

“I really like that,” Scott dipped his spoon in for some more. “The carrot is different enough to not bore me but the rest is normal enough to make it nice.”

“It's too sweet for me,” Virgil said, putting his spoon down after his first taste. 

“I'm not liking the carrot but the rest is good, I could eat it,” Alan said, his usual aversion to vegetables or anything healthy rearing its ugly head. 

“It's all good. I don't mind the carrot either,” Gordon said, agreeing with Scott. 

Kayo, obviously emboldened after using us as test subjects, risked tasting it herself. “Not bad.” 

Well, we've tasted everything,” I said, glugging down some of John’s water in an attempt to cleanse my tongue a little. “Was there an actual point to all of this?” 

Scott and Gordon both shrugged, not that I was that surprised, there is never much point to anything that any of these idiots do when bored.

“Not really,” Scott admitted. 

“I wanted to prove you wrong,” Gordon told me, “and I think we did.” 

“How? How did you? Some of this was disgusting, it clearly didn't work. How can you honestly think that you proved my wrong in any way, shape or form?” Seriously, the mind boggles with these guys. 

“It showed that it can be done,” Gordon insisted.  

“It shows nothing!”  

“Just let it go, love,” John soothed, obviously trying to save what little sanity I have left.

“You joined in!”

“So did you,” he countered.

“I give up!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in frustration. “It’s like talking to monkeys, you’re all mental.” I climbed awkwardly off the bench and headed back to the house.

“So, did I win?” I heard Kayo ask as I rounded the corner, leaving them alone. 

Stupid competitive Tracys! I should never have left the sofa, hell, I should never have left England. I knew this would be a mistake. I’d be insane by the end of it.

I stopped off in the kitchen to make myself a coffee, hoping it would take some of the taste away. I grabbed a few abandoned cookies and a non Johned donut and retreated to the sanctuary that was the couch and my blankets, which would be lonely without me.

I settled down, retrieved my book (I’m re-reading Outlander, which might be contributing to my Jamie Fraser love right now, all the best husbands have J names, fact) and got comfy, might as well make the most of what little peace I’d get before the chaos found me.

“Move over.”

I stayed where I was, maybe if I ignored him he would go away.

John, being John and refusing to be either insulted or put off by my rejection, simply lifted my legs and settled in their spot, dropping them back down over his lap.

I looked over my book at him as he reached for my coffee cup and gulped down half its contents. He offered me the mug and I put my book down to take it.

“Thanks,” I said because what else could I do? I sipped the coffee then put the mug down on the little table next to the couch and picked up my book again.

John took that as a sign that he was welcome to stay and started making himself at home, stealing some of the blanket and shifting to stretch out beside me. I moved over to make room, letting him settle his head on my chest as he found his tablet among the cushions.

OK, maybe there were a few good reasons to be here instead of alone at home, but I’ll never admit it outloud.

[dragons-bones]

FFXIV Write Entry #16: Diagnostics

Prompt: lucubration | Master Post | On AO3

Mini sequel to the events of Quantum Shenanigans.

--

“Synnove, have you seen my WHAT IN THE HELLS.”

Synnove didn’t look up from peering through her magnifying glass. “No, Cid, I have not seen your what in the hells.”

“Fuck you,” Cid said with only a touch of heat. “What the hells have you done to my garage?”

“All right, first, it’s not your garage—”

“It’s Jessie’s, yes, I know, get new material.”

“—and second I have done nothing to it except commandeer it for my use.”

“Then explain the use.”

The Ironworks garage—well, one of the Ironworks garages, the smaller one with only three reaper bays, one of which housed Maggie—was a large space, with a ceiling twenty fulms high. Synnove had stolen one of Biggs’s prototype wheeled chairs from a workshop and was sitting in it cross-legged in the middle of the garage floor within a cleared-out space. Galette was flopped in her mama’s lap and cleaning her paws, with Roksana on top of her elder sister and chewing happily on Cid’s missing wrench.

And spiraling around Synnove in her chair was, well. Magic.

It was clearly arcanima, but instead of the flat diagrams on the two-dimensional pages of an arcanist’s grimoire, the shapes were properly three dimensional, formed of aether and complex equations, with even more equations linking the shapes into a ribbon of purple magic. The individual shapes ran the gamut, but the ‘simple’ ones were mostly spheres, given form by the equations and aetheric representation of Synnove’s gods-awful handwriting; of the more mathematically complex forms, Moebius strips, helicoids, and hyperbolic paraboloids dominated. The ribbon of arcanima was a full fulm wide and hung in the air around Synnove, spiraling in narrow loops from the floor halfway to the ceiling. When Cid had walked in, Synnove had been leaning forward, carefully examining a section of the ribbon with a magnifying glass and using her fingers to gently nudge the ribbon along.

Synnove finally looked up and blinked at him, brow furrowed. “We’ve known each for six years,” she said slowly, “and I’ve never unspooled one of the carbuncles for you?”

Cid’s expression did that thing when he couldn’t decide to be curious or horrified and so went with both. “Unspool a car—Synnove, what?”

Mommy is performing a full visual diagnostic of my coding!

…

That was Amandina’s aetheric harmonic.

Except Amandina wasn’t there.

…Except that Amandina was primarily levin-aspected, and levin aether had a propensity for manifesting as purple in color.

The ribbon of arcanima humming and, yes, gently crackling around Synnove was purple.

Cid’s coffee mug slid from his suddenly lax hand, and was saved from shattering against the cermet floor of the garage by Galette flicking an ear and summoning a small gust of wind to catch it.

The engineer put his face in his hands and sighed. “Arcanists,” he said, like it was a particularly foul curse.

Synnove sniffed, and reached out with her opposite hand to a specific point of carbuncle coding to wiggled her fingers against it.

Amandina’s high-pitched giggles rang through the garage. Mommy, that tickles!

“Exactly the point, sweetheart,” said Synnove. Then she leaned back in to resume going through the black pearl carbuncle’s programming bit by bit.

Cid finally emerged from whatever minor fit he had decided he needed to have with another heavy sigh. “Looking for whatever bit of equation that let the twins tunnel through space-time, I take it?”

“Mmmhmmm,” Synnove hummed. “Their pearl foci are strange enough, what with the inability to physically separate them more than six ilms before they blink back next to one another. I did include some equations that roughly map out to it, but I wasn’t planning on seeing how the girls could, well, bend the rules until I had infused more aether into them. And then of course they decided to be precocious and break the rules.”

Amandina and Roksana both giggled. Galette rolled her eyes.

Cid rubbed his temples. “Why here?” he said.

“Dim enough it’s easy to read the coding, large enough if I need to flatten the spool,” the arcanist said absently. “Also, if I waited until I got back to the Guild, someone would distract me with paperwork.”

The Garlean bent down to fetch his coffee mug—the little swirling gust of wind dissipated once he did—and he wandered closer to squint at the ribbon shimmering in the air. “Suddenly your rummaging for emergency field reprogramming makes more sense,” he said dryly. “I’m assuming when you…unspool, the coding doesn’t unroll in a uniform fashion?”

“Correct,” said Synnove. Her brow furrowed as she paused and examined a specific section, then moved on. “The various related functionalities all cluster together, but the clusters don’t obey any inherent order of relative ‘location’ because gods, my grimoires would be a full fulm wide with all the extraneous coding that would require.”

She lapsed into silence once more, staring at a section of a code. She blinked, slowly, and grinned, viciously pleased. “Found it,” she said, sing-song.

Oh, boy!

Cid leaned forward. “What’s the damage?”

“I think what Carby did was he…unlocked the blink function,” Synnove said, still peering through her magnifying glass. “I had it, well, cordoned off for lack of a better term, but the equation has some additions I know aren’t mine.” She frowned.

“I would like to remind you,” Cid said, in the saccharine tone of someone about to relish some schadenfreude, “that A’khebica designed Carby to be self-programming.”

Synnove grimaced and muttered, “I’m going to need to have words with him about sticking his nose in baby constructs whose coding hasn’t been fully stabilized.”

Oh, Elder Cousin didn’t do that! He just showed us how. Amandina sounded pleased.

Roksana stopped chewing on Cid’s wrench to yip, Yeah, we fixed it ourselves!

Synnove closed her eyes and sighed as Cid began to snicker at her. “Girls,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Galette chirped, Aren’t you glad all I ever want is sugar?

“Don’t push it, darling.”

[obligatoryabditory]

May as well do this at once and get it over with

Day 1:

Started at: 60kg

Currently at: 47kg

Goal : 43kg

Ultimate goal : 40kg

Honestly I just want my body proportions to look good. If I don't see any stomach fat and actually have a defined waist line maybe I'll be satisfied...

Day 2:

164cm , I don't mind it but I wish I was a taller

Day 3:

I've posted this before but I'm in love with everything. The tiny waist, how incredibly flat her stomach is , no large bulging thighs and flawless skin texture.

Day 4:

Being forced to stop or not being able to lose any more

Day 5:

I've always been the chubby girl in my family, but I didn't mind until I started noticing how big I was getting and how much smaller everyone else was. My medium clothes couldn't fit and I had to start wearing large. When I looked down all I could see was fat. Even family members commented on it but in a light hearted manner. When I downloaded tiktok it really opened my eyes to how large I looked in comparison to very pretty girl on my fyp so I decided to change that during quarantine.

Day 6:

Kind of. I would binge for a whole month then hyper restrict for another. I've started to stop that now and I rarely binge except once a week where I'm forced to as I'm visiting family who shove food down my throat

Day 7:

They don't know my goals but they've noticed I've lost weight and are starting to get suspicious and try to force me to eat more

Day 8:

I used to follow a Chloe Ting 2 week ab program but elongated it to be for a couple of months. I don't work out anymore since I got busy but we've just bought an excersise bike which I plan to use every other day

Day 9:

I remember a moment where my cousin came and pinched my stomach and called me pregnant. Felt like crap after and had to hyper restrict the next day.

Day 10:

Sugar, oil and bread.

Day 11:

I don't follow enough to have one but I enjoy most of them

Day 12:

I live with my parents so I have to eat with them at lunch which is usually chicken and rice or curries and rice. For dinner and breakfast I'm in control and try to make low calorie meals.

Day 13:

I mean .... I'm here aren't I. I'd guess un-healthy but I do try to not eat under 800 cals just because I need energy for school

Day 14:

40kg and hopefully soon! Maybe a month and a half. My body takes a while to lose weight in general so we'll have to see.

Day 15:

No but I do avoid beef which may have helped. I'd love to be pescatarian though

Day 16:

Around quarantine

Day 17:

I would say no because I think I'm still in control. Like I know that eating 300cals a day is bad for you so I don't think I'll ever reach that point

Day 18:

Anything carby like pasta or pizza...

Day 19:

A month ago ✨

Day 20:

I haven't tried out any fad diets but if I ever do it'll probably be intermittent fasting

Day 21:

Small

Day 22:

This is my lowest weight ever

Day 23:

Yea... tiktok and my Pinterest feed

Day 24:

They make me uncomfortable. You should never be pro a mental disorder but I understand why people use it and tag with it. I don't think I'm going to.

Day 25:

No I have sensitive teeth so I'm afraid I'll ruin them because I'll get addicted

Day 26:

Not having to worry whether I'll gain weight easily. Fixing one ugly part about me. Having an hourglass figure. Being seen as petite.

Day 27:

I use my sheer will power to refuse it but sometimes it's inappropriate to do so cause they'll worry so I eat and burn it off later or I'll plan my eating a day ahead. I like cooking and baking and being around food though so I typically make things for other people so I'm not tempted to indulge. And my stupid brain enjoys the idea of fattening those around me while I stay thin?? It's very stupid and effed up but it makes me feel better and I hate it. Occasionally I'd let myself eat something if it'll prevent a binge

Day 28:

No I don't really like them but I do want smaller thighs in general

Day 29:

Beauty is subjective but these are the traits I find beautiful;

- curly or wavy hair

- hourglass figure

- flat stomach

-even skin texture

- body is hairless

- no pore in sight

- straight white teeth

- coloured eyes ( including light browns)

- no acne or acne scars

- no eye bags

But sometimes I find people beautiful even when they don't fit this standard in my head

Day 30:

I have a cat, I like to sing (badly) , I wanna be a doctor one day (ironic), love to draw and doodle, bilingual, avid anime watcher, I read more fan fiction than fiction , enjoy martial arts, scared of porcelain dolls.

[beachedmessagebottles]

If it's no trouble, I have a Puyo request regarding Arle, Amitie, and Ringo. Following a visit to Suzuran, Arle, Amitie, and Carbuncle would be amazed at (and a little scared of) all the technology Ringo's world has to offer. In addition, Ringo, Risukuma, and Maguro would get pretty annoyed at Arle and the others' over-the-top reactions regarding their tech.

Not a trouble at all! After all requests were just opened! Here you go! 

Culture shock. That’s really all the two Puyo players have to say on that. Other world traveling is just so different! You never know what to expect! At Arle’s home, it was just normal for her to go through a dungeon! Maguro replying that it sounded like a heckuva lot like a dungeon crawler game. At Amitie’s little town, she had kooky adventures just like Arle, but nothing like Arle. The blue-clad mageling went to school herself but it was entirely different from Amitie’s, not to mention the creatures they encountered.

Heck, even their technology was different! There were some things alike, like stoves and fans and TVs, but it was like they were built completely differently! Ringo had made a passing comment like Arle’s was like the 90s while Amitie was like the early 2000s. Whatever that meant for how Ringo’s world progressed. And it seemed to progress fast.

“Guu!!” A frightened little voice cut out one day as they were visiting Suzuran, pointing up at the sky.

“What is it Carby? Woah!” Arle gasped.

“Huh? What’s going on?” Amitie questioned said she looked up high herself.

It was the darnedest thing, something big and high in the sky! It floated while leaving a trail like a cloud. The girls and little rabbit-like creature hadn’t seen such a thing before! It looked like it had wings, but couldn’t possibly be actual wings!

“That’s an airplane.” Risukuma explained to much of the other-worlders confusion.

“Airplane...” Amitie parroted, her brow furrowing as she thought, “I mean I get the air part cause it’s up in the air, but what’s the plane part?”

“Yeah!” Arle nodded, with a chirp from Carbuncle in agreement, “What’s the plane part about?”

“That is because—“

“How does it stay in the air? It’s not magic like a broomstick, right?”

“Oh! There’s broomsticks in my world too!”

“Wha- really?!”

“Well, it has to do with physics—“

“Really!”

The squirrel-bear was left to nothing but interruption of the two magic users chittering about the use of magic brooms lifting you into the air.

“Sorry ‘bout that Ris.” Ringo pat his shoulder, but she had to admit that it made her nothing but curious. There were instead magic brooms instead of planes? How far did they travel? How many people? What other modes of transportation were foreign.

“Oh! Oh yeah! What else is part of your world that isn’t part of yours? I wanna know!” Amitie suddenly brought Ringo out of her thoughts, Arle cheering that she wanted to know too.

“Uh, well, there’s a lot...”

“Like what?”

“I know lots about that! ★” Maguro took the stage, “Watcha wanna know? ★”

“Everything!” Arle and Amitie said in unison.

“Well dang that leaves a lot. ★ But I guess I could start on tablets. ★” Maguro put a hand to his chin and started explaining...

...And kept explaining as Amitie and Arle kept absorbing information like sponges. The infodumper’s tongue started to get dry, but they were still oh so curious. Rightfully so, but he’s not sure how much of this he can take. Not to mention slowly running out of info.

“What else after that?” Was a dreaded question, which Maguro sadly opened his mouth to answer but a grumbly voice cut through.

“NOMORETALKINGNOMORETALKING.” Ringo chuckling nervously as she pushed the two boys away from the questioners, raising a finger for ‘one moment.’

“Thanks for the encouragement, Ris. ★” Maguro shook his head as they all entered another room, starting to rub his temple.

“My apologies Maguro, but one more word and my head was going to split into two.”

“I don’t like picturing that. ★”

“Neither do I.”

Ringo gave out a sigh, “Theres certainly innocent curiosity behind it, knowledge is meant to be learned, but nobody ever said that it was easy teaching it.”

“I don’t think anybody says that, but now I think I know how a teacher feels. ★”

The three fell silent, they certainly didn’t mind explaining but sometimes too much was too much. And this was a too much time. Imagine if it wasn’t just only Arle and Amitie. They shuddered simultaneously.

“There is always telling them to stop, but they clearly have a love of curiosity we shouldn’t break. For they love learning about this world as much as we love learning about theirs.” Risukuma said.

“Yeah, wouldn’t exactly want to tear that away from them. But I think we need to take five at the very least.”

“Oh! I got it! ★” Maguro snapped his fingers, “A Puyo match! ★”

“A Puyo match?” Ringo tilted her head, then she got it as well her face lighting up. A Puyo match!

“We may be from different worlds, but that brings us together regardless. What an idea!” Risukuma nodded, then both Maguro and Ringo nodded. With that, they were off to bring them all together once more!