#i never know what my mind will do next

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

what were a few other url ideas you had?

at first i was thinking of something from the song day after day because i always think "that's me about all of my band boys"

I REMEMBER FIIIINDING OUT ABOUT YOUUUUU

EVERY DAY MY MIND IS ALL AROUND YOUUUUU

LOOKING OUT OF MY LONELY GLOOM(and/or "looking out from my lonely room")

DAAAAY AFTER DAAAYYY

BRING IT HOME BABY MAKE IT SOOOON

I GIVE MY LOVE TO YOUUUUUUUUU

but of course just 'dayafterday' was taken, and day-after-day etc. which isn't that surprising because it's a common thing to say. i wanted a shorter url like that but it's not easy to find one that isn't taken. then "looking out of my lonely gloom" would be the blog name.

i was thinking of using "mymindisallaroundyou" for the url instead or with dashes but decided against it

another one i almost picked was from maybe tomorrow where tom sings "let the light of your love shine through the window of my heart" so my url would have been "letthelightofyourlove" or "let-the-light-of-your-love" and then my blog name would be "shine through the window of my heart". i just really love that line and still applies to my band boys.

i was also thinking of the line from shine on where pete sings "don't think of tomorrow, yesterday is past" because sometimes i get a little too caught up in the past and i think it would be a good reminder to not do that so much.

AND there was a part from tom's demo, love my lady(about his wife which is super cute), where he says "like a sunshine on a rainbow" which would be the url and then the next line i was gonna change for tumblr reasons, he says "black nights, broken ways, got your bed to sleep on" where i would have put "got my blog to post on" at the end instead. my boys are the sunshine on a rainbow

i also considered using "knock down the old grey wall" from no matter what because i love that line and, for me, it would mean like my walls of anxiety in my head that need to be knocked down, and then the blog name would be "be a part of it all" because i want to be a part of things more instead of just hiding from everything all the time.

and and and i was thinking of the start of "i'm in love" where he says "i'm not well can't you tell" but i feel like "i'm not well" in all url variations would most likely be taken so i'd have to include both of those into the url, hope that's not taken too, and then i'd have nothing that i would want for the blog name to go with that.

i was trying to make one from pete's demo ostrich because sometimes i feel like the ostrich in that scenario, but it wasn't working for me.

SO i was stuck between a lot of these and still listening to more songs trying to come up with any different ones that would apply to me without it just being like "i don't relate to this but i like the song" because there are too many of those

i told myself that if i don't choose one by new years day, i'll just pick one that i already had in mind that stands out to me/relates to me the most in the moment and go with it. so i chose this one from name of the game.

it's a good song by the way and i think everybody should go listen to it right now and for the rest of your lives forever

[cl4ssyjazzy]

I used to always leave a comment on a fic if I saw anything about my interests not being accurately described, but thanks to SVSSS, now whenever I get the urge to correct someone the face of Shen Yuan pops into my head like a ghost of Christmas Past and I avoid being the insufferable "Uuuum.... actually!!" Guy.

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

[scoopstomyahoy]

thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now

and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)

but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems

and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together

eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him

and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.

it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized

and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget

eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there

over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.

his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.

(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)

eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.

he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?

and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(

[mildcicada]

[the-holy-ghosted]

*putting on a moustache and sunglasses*

So like what’s the deal with ghosted what’s that about

now see the deal with Ghosted is that it's not what happens within the events of the film that captivates me so much, though don't get me wrong i love this film to bits, but rather, it's the idea of what happens after the whole thing that makes me FUCKING NUTS

because the whole thing is relatively cut and dry in the sense that we don't have to guess about what happened before and we don't have to guess about how everybody is feeling in the present. we know (MOST) important characters backgrounds and what they're doing at Falkhill and slowly revealing Paul's context was pretty interesting if not a little abrupt at the end there but its the very last scene of this film down to the very frame that flips the whole hour and a half you just watched over on its head and prevents me from getting a good night's sleep because i can't stop thinking about it

ELABORATING WITH A LOT OF SPOILERS UNDER THIS

explaining the plot of this movie is hard without sounding like im writing a pretentious review and not just talking out of my ass on tumblr but for my followers who haven't watched this movie and dont care enough to: Ghosted (2011) is set in a british prison in which Jack (John Lynch) is a long time prisoner who's wife just dumped him apparently on the anniversary of their sons death (tough break) and is being advised by his friend and cellmate Ahmed (Art Malik) (who does NOT get HALF as much screen-time or plot relevance as he DESERVES,) to find something to put his mind to and be proud of outside of his failures Paul (Martin Compston) is a prisoner who was just transferred out of a Young Offenders prison AS FAR AS WE'RE TOLD... though its noticeable from the beginning that hes not a very good liar and his story is suspicious at best Clay (Craig Parkinson) is kindof The Guy of their prison wing whos dealing drugs to other prisoners and assumes the position of authority over everybody else, though compared to other inmates with bigger cliques, his foundations are shaky. the description of this film on letterboxd calls him "the wing beast" and i have never cried laughing so hard reading something in my life

Clay and Jack both hone in on Paul immediately for different reasons. Jack, after his pep talk with Ahmed, sees Paul as a source of "a little self belief, something to be proud of", but Clay scoops him under his wing for being relatively young and impressionable. This puts Jack and Clay at odds with each other. after some plot, Paul gets into very big trouble with Clay and after An Incident is promptly plopped into Jacks hands, who had requested Paul move into his cell earlier but didn't have a good enough excuse for it. Well You've Got A Bloody Good Reason Now ect ect

Jack and Paul buddy up immediately and its noticable that Paul is sort of filling in the empty space where a son would be for Jack, however we discover that Paul has been lying about his past to everybody, including Jack. he lied about his family and he lied about having only just been transferred from Y.O. and hadn't been telling the whole truth about his sentence. what the truth ends up being, in a nutshell, is that Paul is accidentally responsible for the death of Jack's son, having been the one who started the house fire he died in (we were never even told that Jack's son died in a house fire before this, we are only told this in Paul's flashback at the end of the movie and are supposed to act, like, surprised?? whatever). consequentially, Jack flips his lid and prompts my personal favorite scene in this film in which he beats the living shit out of Paul with his bare hands and immediately regrets it the second the adrenaline wears off, hitting an alarm button within the cell that alerts the guards.

the guards whisk him away and he is put in solitary confinement, which we find out was actually the first sequence of the film where hes shown with an absurdly long beard, and considering every other fucking scene he's in is of him shaving his face, i assume this is to show just how long he's been kept in solitary confinement, which quite honestly was kindof exciting to realize at the end of the film.

and then. the end scene.

after solitary, Jack is put in cuffs and brought to see Paul who looked Extremely Dead after Jack had him, but hes not dead! just almost dead. Jack is sat next to him and tries to apologize but starts to cry, reaching out a hand to hold Paul's but retracting it regretfully. Paul, having looked unconscious not five seconds before, moves his hand to place it over Jack's...

and then the movie ends. and i am left writhing on my floor in anguish BUT NOT BEFORE I EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THIS

THIS is what the deal is with Ghosted

the pathetic gestures of "im sorry" and "its okay" are what kill me. sorry is nowhere near enough to justify anything that EITHER of them did, NOR should they be forgiven. AND YET.

and what gets my gears going is the thought of what everything looks like AFTER this scene. after they've bonded so close and after Jack already thought that Paul stopped lying to him, thinking that he could protect Paul from Clay now... after they started to fill the spaces for people they were missing in their lives... and after they've RUINED each others lives. They Have Ruined Each Others Lives and yet Paul probably would have had to DELIBERATELY ASK for them to bring Jack to see him because he just BEAT Paul within an INCH of his life and would NOT !! have brought Jack to see him upon Jack's own request!! Paul would have wanted to see him too!! after all this what does their relationship look like now... the image of father and son has been all but shattered in each other's eyes, one can assume, but are they still close... does the guilt and responsibility drift them apart or does it pull them inseparably together? Ahmed tells Jack that "there is no such thing as coincidence, only fate" but what does their fate look like... does it end here or does it mean that they're together indefinitely? the end of this film swings the door wide open and i think about it. way too often. unacceptably often, even.

all in all theres no reason that this should be my favorite film but it is. if nothing else it's made me look into the other actors involved and branch out with a to-watch list as long as my arm that will only get longer once i branch out from there. is it the perfect movie? no this film is mediocre at best. have i made a number of my friends sit down and watch it and listen to me yell incoherently about it? of course i have.

[third-doctor]

I feel like I'm going insane. That episode read to me as a lot more tragic than other people are reading it. Yeah they were racist and rich and spoiled and awful but they were just kids. They were all just kids. Lindy was absolutely terrified throughout the whole thing and clinging desperately to what she knew, which was terrible. They could've had the chance to learn and become better but they chose to go die and it's infuriating and tragic because nobody deserves that. Nobody deserves to be eaten by slugs or die of exposure in the woods. Nobody deserves to suffer like that. But they chose it rather than let the Doctor help them because they'd rather stay in their rich white supremacist bubble and he just wants to help and there's nothing he can do.

Maybe it's because one of my core beliefs is that nobody deserves death and suffering. Nobody. Even the worst person on earth can learn from their mistakes and come back and change and everyone deserves that chance. There's no such thing as too late. But they're never going to get that chance because they actively rejected it and to me that's still very, very sad.

[nostalgia-tblr]

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron (apart from I skipped some overly long action sequences) and I am not sure so can someone tell me whether or not Tony Stark was the baddy in that film? Because about halfway through I was sure he was but then it was maybe just an evil robot after all and I am confused because either this film was surprisingly subversive or it was about robots hitting each other.

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:

tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

I sincerely think if Dennis Reynolds and Jeff Winger were to makeout, it would benefit them both immensely, in fact, it’d be good for their health

[violetwolfraven]

Wait a second.

All those kid’s stories where the main characters have to leave the magical world behind at the end are a metaphor for childhood itself.

I feel so stupid for just figuring it out now but it makes so much sense.

You can’t go back to that sense of wonder you had before you knew how everything worked. Back when lightning and fire and flowers might as well be magic. You can’t go back to the same dynamic your friend group had. Back before you all grew up and had to try your best to hold onto each other from the different paths you each started down instead of walking down one together. You can’t be the person you were when you were 9, when you were 13, when you were 18 anymore, and you probably don’t even want to. Back when the most important thing in the world was who won infection tag at recess, or if that boy liked you back, or if you got all the signatures you wanted in your yearbook before all the kids you grew up with went their separate ways. All these things that seem so much smaller when you’re looking back on them as an adult.

Maybe a part of you wishes you could go back, because some of those memories hold pain, yes, some of them were among the worst days of your life, but some of them were magical, too. There are things you wish you could do again, not because you want to do anything differently, but just so you can experience them again.

But you can’t. You can’t go back to that part of your life, and you wouldn’t fit in it anymore even if you could. Your childhood might as well be a portal that’s sealed behind you.

There are days when you’re very, very glad that it is.

There are also days when it kills you inside to know that you can’t go back, no matter how hard you may want to try.

[sailforvalinor]

Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11

[hello-there-cyarika]

A day at the pond!

So uh... might've gotten carried away with this one lol

At first it was just gonna be Waxer and his Swampert but like @formvienthusiast, bestie, you are SO right about that dragonair! So of course I had to add da baby (i say baby but waxer is hella smart so that thing has an eviolite and can shred opponents lmao)

And then you got me thinking about Boil's team and I've always pictured him with a crobat but I can also totally see him with a togekiss so maybe he's got a flying dual type team? Featuring togekiss? I just think he'd be really good with those two friendship evolutions

So, @formvienthusiast, my friend, you (with your empoleon and corviknight) and Fives (with his metagross and armarouge), are up against Waxer (swampert and dragonair) and Boil (crobat and togekiss)! *cue pokemon battle theme of your choice*

Who's the next trooper lookin' for a fight??

<3 I do not give my consent or my permission for my art to be re-posted or reuploaded on this or any other website <3

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Dorian Pavus

[chompe-diem]

already living in the au where riz is senior class president bc i know it's never becoming canon