#i only hope i will be able to draw everything like i imagine it currently

[suis0u]

I definitely have seen/listen to and read too much horror and spooky, creepy stuff in the last weeks (and in general)... I'm currently not sure if it's good what my mind is doing with this new OC, ha ha~... but at least it looks all nice in my head, like an old stop motion film with creepy dolls and such things everywhere.

[cuubism]

i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

--

Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

[scekrex]

Giving Adam a rimjob, that’s it, send tweet.

I'd fucking love to eat his bitchy ass out ngl

We're eating good tonight, darlin'

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, rimjobs

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Flipping Adam onto his stomach turned out to be easier as you had first expected it to be, the first human yelped in surprise as his bare body was turned over and his hips were lifted from the mattress underneath him, taking away every opportunity of friction he would have had. Your grip on his hips was firm, harsh even and the brunette was convinced your fingerprints would leave bruises - not that he minded, he loved it when you got all possessive over him and marked him up in the most beautiful way possible.

When Adam felt your hands move to his ass cheeks, felt that you spread them apart, he was a little confused though. That confusion was blown away by pure lust though, when your lips kissed his entrance, a thing he had clearly not been expecting. “The fuck you’re- Oh fucking Christ,” the brunette interrupted himself as he buried his face deep in the pillows underneath him, crying out in pleasure and staining the son’s name. The feeling of your lips against his opening was indescribable, ít wasn’t comparable to anything he had ever felt before and when your tongue gently licked it, he was sure to lose it all. Though you weren’t able to see his face you were quite positive the first man’s face was scrunched up in sheer pleasure as you continued to tease his rim by pushing the tip of your tongue throǵh the muscle slightly before pulling it back again to lick his entrance once more. “Do it again,” he wasn’t begging, no, he was straight up demanding it, sounding so desperate for you to fill him up. He wanted you to push past his sensitive muscle, wanted you to stretch it, wanted to feel your tongue inside of him fully. He wondered what it would feel like. Would it feel similar to your dick? Would it feel completely different? Would he even be able to compare the feeling to something else when the things ýou were currently doing weren’t? Adam didn’t have an answer to any of those questions but he was desperate to find out, to get some answers to the thoughts that were fogging up his already clouded mind. And the brunette was certain he would get those answers he craved so much soon.

You were a tease, that he knew, that he had learned early. You loved teasing him so this new act was coming with teasing just as everything else you did to him did. His taste was just as wonderful as sucking his dick, his scent was making your mind feel heavy in a glorious way you could’ve never imagined. You’ve only ever read about rimjobs, never had the opportunity to give that kind of pleasure to someone - anyone. So Adam being the first to experience such a thing from you felt special in every way. You wanted him to enjoy it, maybe make him beg for more, but that came second. What came first was the brunette’s pleasure. You desired for him to relish the feeling just as much as you did, maybe the pure feeling of your tongue buried inside of him was enough to make him climax? The thought of it alone was enough to draw a moan from you, sending vibrations through your body. Adam felt your moan, felt it more than he was able to actually hear it due to his ass muffling the sounds that came from you, the only thing his skin didn’t muffle was your heavy breathing. Oh he wanted to drown in the feeling you were giving to him, he wanted to ask for more, more, more but when he tried to the only thing that actually made it past his lips was a shaky sounding whimper, yet you knew what he desired. The two of you had spent so many nights exploring each other’s bodies that you were able to understand the first man without speaking a single word, so was he. The body language the both of you spoke was more than enough.

Adam pushed his ass closer to your face in hopes, you would show mercy and push past the muscle that had not been prepared yet and if you kept up your little act, there wouldn’t be any need to do so, because if you would keep teasing the taller male like you did, he would come undone and fall apart in no time. However, mercy was not on your agenda, so you dipped the tip of your tongue it yet again as you squeezed his ass cheeks playfully, if you would have been able to, a cheeky grin would be visible, but you were too focused, too caught up in your self given task of pleasuring your partner, there was no time for cheekiness. Not now, when Adam made those delicious sounds, not when you yourself were getting off on eating him out. “Oh fuck,” Adam whispered against the fabric of the pillow case his face was pressed against, you understood him perfectly fine though. His ass was basically grinding against your face, silently begging for more as he also desperately sought friction to bring pleasure to his painfully hard dick. The first man felt needy and he had no shame in hiding the need he was feeling, not when it was you who was causing that feeling. “Just tongue-fuck me already, bitch,” he hissed as he lifted his head to look back at you, that sassiness of his earned him a firm slap on the ass which gifted you a high pitched moan that made you shiver a little. Though you had heard the pretty noises Adam was able to make countless times before, they always managed to affect you, they always let pleasure shoot through your veins.

When your tongue finally buried itself deep inside of Adam, the first man arched his back, trying to fit more of it into him, that greedy fucker. The brunette’s body swallowed you like it had been made for that, like it had been made for your body to bring him pleasure and while you were very aware that wasn’t the case, you couldn’t care less. His hips were eager to meet the thrusts of your tongue and his wings twitched in excitement as you picked up the pace a little just to withdraw your tongue a moment later, the cry of loss the first man let out sounded like music in your ears, music only Adam was able to create. As he had thought, the feeling of your tongue filling him up was nothing he had ever felt before, nor did it come close to something. It was a unique feeling that he couldn’t get enough of and while he had promised himself not to crumble down this quickly, he begged you in a whiny voice, “Please, more.” Because who was he kidding? He loved the feeling of having you inside of him, no matter if it were your fingers, your dick or your tongue. Whatever you were to offer to him, Adam’s body would gladly swallow.

[creedslove]

I know request are close but maybe this could be a headcon where you and Joel are married have Sarah but then the apocalypse happens some years later while Joel is in Jackson with Ellie Tommy and the town the reader gets rescued and finally reunite with Joel and what his reaction would be

You can 1000000% choose if it’s an imagine or a headcon or if you want to do it my mind Is currently on joel miller and yeha

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it anon ❤️

• Joel thought he'd lost everything the night the outbreak happened, he lost his daughter, she died in his arms and he never thought he would have to bury his beautiful daughter in some unidentified shallow grave

• he knew he had died that night with her, something inside was simply gone, his heart had gone cold and though he still had you, he knew he would never recover

• but you also went missing, you never made it home after the outbreak started, you three had plans of celebrating his birthday after your work shift ended but with the whole chaos, you never made it home

• in the first few months Joel went after you, FEDRA station after station, trying to look for you, see if you were hurt or if you were taking one of the volunteering jobs but he could never find you

• so he just assumed you'd died and focused the next years of his life in surviving even if he wasn't sure it was worth surviving in this world

• Joel was almost used to his life in Jackson, it was still odd for him to be able to sleep at night, without worrying about finding food and having enough blankets in winter

• but he never recovered from the loss of his family even if it happened all those years ago, he was still broken and lonely, deeply wounded from not having you and his daughter

• the gates of Jackson opened for another group of patrol bringing a group of rescued people, it wasn't often that it happened, but when it did, Joel didn't care about it very much, he just didn't want to meet new people and he always had the impression of seeing a known face, only to realize it was just a trick of his mind

• so the moment the group of people arrived in the city, Joel just turned his back and began walking away at the same time you scanned the place, always in hopes of seeing your husband and your beautiful daughter once more, also convinced they were dead

• but your heart never lost hope and the moment you spotted the broad shoulders, the curls you had ran your fingers through it gently so many times, now looking a little grayer but still the same man you came to love with so much intensity

• you screamed his name as loud as you could, drawing attention from everyone around but you didn't care at all, all you wanted was to see if it was him

• and when Joel turned around, his heart skipped a beat, not believing his ears at first but he did recognize you voice and rushed to you, his heart felt like it was about to explode the moment he saw you

• you were looking older just like he was, you were skinny and he could tell you had a few scars here and there, but you had survived

• he rushed to you, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer and falling onto his knees, he couldn't believe you were in his arms after so long

• he held you, kissing your lips, at the same time tears ran down his cheeks, after so long, you were back to being his again

____

[cieloclercs]

Okay so abt that Carlitos request maybe she’s in the crowd next to his mum and after a win at Wimbledon (maybe he’s the final winner 🤭) her and his family go down on the pitch to celebrate (kind of in the way footballers do it) and he just kisses her instantly and that’s the moment everyone finds out abt their relationship but the fans love it and maybe then they go on a vacation in Spain or smth like that 🫶🏻 thanks again for being open to write for him and have a good day!!

PS: if you find good fics with him please do tell where 😅

-🪷

hello! hope you enjoy this <3

p.s i found two really awesome carlitos fics you should check out! wimbledon shenanigans by @yungbludz and this blurb by @2manytabsopen

word count. 2.3k

read under the cut!

𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐨́𝐧 | carlos alcaraz

THE DAY HAS finally arrived: one you’ve had circled in your calendar for weeks, almost as a manifestation that you’ll get to watch it not just as a neutral spectator, but as someone with a true stake in the outcome. The Wimbledon Final. A certain classic, the commentators all say. They’re sure, that no matter who wins, it’s going to be a match for the history books. The current world number one versus arguably the greatest tennis player of all time. Carlos Alcaraz versus Novak Djokovic.

You’re on the edge of your seat from the moment the first serve is taken. It almost feels as if you’re down there on the court, playing the match yourself. The nerves thrumming inside your very veins are enough for it to seem that way. Carlos’ mother is seated to your right, just as tense as you are, gripping the edge of her chair with white knuckles. You reach down to pat her hand reassuringly, partly for her, but mostly for you. Appearing so calm, so certain Carlos is going to do what he does best and win this match helps to quell your own nerves. Even if it’s a façade.

He's worked so hard to get here, you can’t even imagine the agony if he falls short now. So many have put their expectations on him, as this new, rising talent, pegging him to become the next Nadal; it’s a lot for anyone to deal with, but it amazes you how Carlos simply takes it into his stride. He’s inexperienced on grass compared to his competitor (or rather, inexperienced on every surface – this is Novak Djokovic we’re talking about, after all), yet even against those with years and years of tournament experience haven’t been able to beat him. No matter whether it seems the odds are stacked against him or not, Carlos always believes in himself. So you believe in him too. You know in your heart, this may seem like a mountain to climb, but if anyone can reach the summit, it’s him.

There’s a second story running alongside this one, however, and it involves you. Though you’ve been able to call the world number one your boyfriend for almost six months now, the world is yet to know about your relationship. As someone who hasn’t exactly been shielded from the public eye yourself, you both decided it would be healthier to keep everything private while you navigated the early stages of your relationship. Now, you’re both happier than you ever have been, and it feels as though you’re drawing nearer to the big announcement.

Attending Carlos’ match with his family is the first big step. From the moment you sat down with them in their box, you could feel the eyes on you; sense the whispers rippling around the court like shockwaves. Everyone knows who you are, of course – Spain’s golden girl, the child acting star turned Oscar winner at only twenty years of age. You’re a household name not only in your country, but across the whole world. To see you here, spending time with the family of your equivalent in the tennis world, is huge news. This isn’t just a case of some celebrity outing for the day, making an appearance in a private box; this is you sitting with Carlos’ family, laughing with his mother and doting on his little brother. You’re clearly more involved than the average celebrity – the big question on everyone’s lips is how involved?

For the moment, you ignore the masses of eyes on you. You’re here to see Carlos play first and foremost, not answer the newly emerged dating rumours which seem to be spreading like wildfire across social media (it’s barely even been half an hour – the fans sure do catch on quick). All you care about is cheering him on until he emerges victorious, lifting that coveted Wimbledon trophy high into the air. And with each point won that puts him just ahead of his opponent, you feel everything drawing closer to the inevitable end: Game, set, match – Carlos Alcaraz. It takes an excruciating four and three quarter hours of back and forth, but eventually, the dream becomes reality. Championship point won. He drops to the floor with a gasp just as you shoot up from your seat, arms flailing in the air, screaming until your throat is raw. Carlos Alcaraz is the winner of the 2023 Wimbledon Championship.

You’re not even sure it’s allowed when you and his family rush down onto the court, but in that moment, you honestly couldn’t care less. He’s shaken hands with Djokovic, who for once, doesn’t look ashamed to have been beaten – he recognises a worthy champion when he sees one. Then, after doing the same with the umpire, he turns to face his approaching family. The grin you love so much breaks out across his face. You know how important they all are to him. Having them here to witness this no doubt makes it even sweeter.

For a moment you hang back, watching as his father pats him proudly on the back, and his mother holds nothing in reserve by pulling him down to press a loving kiss to his cheek. He spins his little brother around in the air excitedly, and you hear Jaime’s giggles from where you’re standing a few feet away. You’re happy to just watch them for a while, a fond smile playing on your lips. They truly are the most idyllic family. You count yourself lucky to know them as well as you do, and perhaps even one day to be accepted as one of them by Carlos’ side. But you push those thought away, wanting to remain in the present. Right now, you couldn’t be more proud of your boyfriend. Your heart sings with joy for him and his incredible achievement. You’ve always known he is special, but now the rest of the world knows it just as certainly as you do.

It isn’t long before Carlos turns his attention away from his family, searching for you amongst the crowd. You aren’t far away, grinning back at him shyly. You’re aware of the crowd around you, conscious that they are no doubt watching his every move, but when you lock eyes, that doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He closes the distance between you in four short strides, and before you know it, his arms are wrapped around you, lifting you high up into the air as he spins around. You’re laughing gleefully, arms looped securely around his neck as if they belong there. When he sets you down again everything is quiet, despite the crowd still cheering his name.

"Estoy muy orgullosa de ti.” I’m so proud of you. You murmur, hands placed on either side of his face. You eyes are filled with nothing but love and admiration as you gaze up at him. You can see it mirrored back at you in his own.

"No podría haberlo hecho sin ti, mi amor.” I couldn’t have done it without you, mi amor. He replies tenderly. Though you know it’s not strictly the truth. Everyone needs love and support from those they care for the most to get them through the difficult times, but Carlos Alcaraz was born to be a star. He was always going to make it this far – it’s just something you can’t argue with, a little like fate. Still, it’s nice to feel like you had a part to play in that. You are important enough to him to matter in a time like this. That’s the special thing.

"Te quiero, campeón.” I love you, champion. You tell him with a teasing giggle. He seems to light up at the nickname, chest puffing out with pride.

"Yo también te quiero.” I love you too. He murmurs. His hands cradle either side of your face, and when he glances down at your lips, you know exactly what he’s asking. The crowd’s focus is still very much on the two of you, but despite all the efforts you’ve gone to hide your relationship, right now, you don’t care. The subtlest of nods tells him all he needs to know. Carlos dips his head down, capturing your lips in the sweetest kiss you’ve ever known. You think the crowd are cheering; you can hear some whistles, muffled into the background. None of it matters. All you care about is when he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you impossible close – so close you can feel his heartbeat against your own chest.

Even when he pulls away, the spell isn’t broken. There’s something about sharing in the joy of the man you love that simply makes everything else fade away. Carlos looks down at you, his eyes so soft, shining so brightly they could have held the entire universe for all you knew. In a way, he’s thanking you. You’re not sure what for at first, because he’s made it here of his own merit. But then it hits you. Carlos is a simple man. He’s simply thanking you for being here, to celebrate the greatest moment of his life alongside him and his family. At the end of the day, it’s what he cares about most – his family. The look he gives you now is as much confirmation as you’ll ever need. He considers you to be a part of it. Maybe not in name (not yet, anyway), but in heart, in spirit, you mean just as much to him.

Finally, when you’re both returned to reality, he relaxes his grip around your waist, turning to wave at the crowd, shooting them a cheeky wink (which you just know will be all over social media within the next few hours). You can’t help but laugh. Someone calls his name: it’s time to prepare for the presentation, they tell him. He turns back to look at you with a dazed grin. You can’t resist pressing one final kiss to his lips before he’s dragged away – your champion, ready to lift that legendary trophy high in the air. No one deserves it more than him, you think. This is what he was born to do.

liked by tennis_wags and 2,637 others

tennisupdates Carlos Alcaraz and newly confirmed girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N, who attended the match with his family, celebrating his Wimbledon victory on centre court ❤️

view all comments…

username so cute 😍

username THE it couple

Two weeks later Majorca, Spain

After the chaos and exposure of Wimbledon, a private beach getaway is exactly what both you and Carlos needed. Days stretch away on the sand, swallowed up by the rolling blue tides, and you think this place must be paradise on earth – or maybe it’s the company that makes everything so perfect. You’ve barely moved from your residence along the private stretch of beach Carlos had splashed out on to make your time together as romantic (and paparazzi-free) as possible. You don’t need to. This is your time to relax, to unwind after Wimbledon; and if you don’t deserve that, Carlos certainly does. You’re simply reaping the rewards.

Both your phones lay face down on the kitchen table inside. You haven’t looked at social media once since the final, and you don’t plan to as long as you’re here. No doubt, all your accounts will be blown up with messages about yours and Carlos’ surprise hard launch, both good and bad. You don’t want to ruin this little paradise you’ve created by getting sucked into the media. So, aside from texting or calling your families in the evenings, both yours and Carlos’ phones remain unused throughout your days together. It’s beyond peaceful. He pledges to do this more often – just be together, without the pressure of social media or the press breathing down your necks.

Sprawled out across the sand, you lay on his tanned chest, running your fingers softly up and down the side of his ribs. He hums contentedly at the sensation. You’re both sleepy, the sun lulling you into a daze. Carlos’ lips find your hair occasionally, kissing away your tiredness. His arms pull you in close, so you can feel the warmth radiating from his skin as much as you can feel it from the sun, or the sand beneath you. This feeling, that blooms in your chest and lights up every part of you, is nothing short of belonging. Even if you both had nothing, if you were talentless, penniless, with no place to call your own, you could claim it with each other. Carlos is the man whose arms you want to lie in every day for the rest of your life. You’re only young, but you know it to be true. He’s the one for you.

"El sol se está poniendo.” The sun’s going down. He soon whispers into the dusk, which has crept up on you in the last few hours. You hum some kind of acknowledgement, but keep your face buried deep into the crook of his neck. He chuckles.

"Vamos, cariño." Come on, baby. Carlos murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your face, "Vamos a la cama." Let’s go to bed.

You don’t argue with him when he scoops you up into his arms, lifting you up off the still warm sand as you giggle at the way he spins you around. When your feet touch the ground again, you can’t resist kissing him. It’s short and sweet, but he chases you with his lips when you pull away. You feel your heart soar.

Hand in hand, you make your way inside, to the place which has become your own perfect, little solitude. No one can touch you here, so far away from the rest of the world. You both know you’ll have to go back to reality fairly soon, but for that night, it’s the farthest thing from your minds. For now you’re just young and in love, wrapped up in each other, never wanting to leave. It’s the best place you can be, you think. The only place you ever want to be.

liked by wimbledon and 2,647,936 others

tagged: carlitosalcarazz

yourusername sí, sigo vivo! han sido un par de semanas caóticas en wimbledon, así que hemos decidido tomarnos un tiempo para nosotros mismos antes de que las cosas empiecen a volverse locas otra vez 🫣

a mi campeón - estoy muy orgullosa de ti y de todo lo que has conseguido. nadie se merece esto mas que tu. he visto el trabajo que haces dia y noche para ser la mejor. no ha sido facil, pero que sepas que he creido en ti en cada paso del camino, y seguire creyendo en ti mientras viva. te quiero, carlitos ❤️

yes, i'm still alive! it's been a chaotic couple of weeks at wimbledon, so we've decided to take some time to ourselves before things start to get crazy again 🫣

to my champion - i am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished. no one deserves this more than you. i have seen the work you do day and night to be the best. it has not been easy, but know that i have believed in you every step of the way, and i will continue to believe in you as long as i live. i love you, carlitos ❤️

carlitosalcarazz te quiero siempre / i love you always

yourusername 💕

comments on this post have been limited.

tags: @christianpulisic10

requests are open! send something in if you’d like!

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (2)

Chapter 2: RunRunRun

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

Warnings: cussing really

Word count: 6,657

Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hihi, second chapter is out!! I hope you all enjoy it and leave feedback, I really really appreciate that!! Taglist is still open for those interested. Do not forget to check out the playlist and listen to the song before or while reading (RunRunRun)!! Thank you. Now, enjoy!

Taglist: @orshii @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

『I always thought it would be easy (easy)

To get you out my mind (mind)』

            Certainly my sleep could’ve been more peaceful, but after the shit I pulled—drew Mingi’s eyes, for fuck’s sake—I knew I was in for a long night of overthinking and overanalyzing everything. Just for a second I allowed myself to place aside all judgement and foulness I felt towards the smug prick and, yes, admitted, that perhaps he wasn’t too bad to look at. Not a little bit, not even at all. However, this thought unsettled me and quickly made me remember how my blood boiled and nerves rose caused by his stuck-up attitude and irritating smirk. He was an asshole full of himself, and there was no way in hell I would allow his mild handsomeness overshadow his good for nothing personality. Guys like him were only by your side for a short while, while the relationship would feel new and exciting, and after that they dip like you have never even existed on the surface of Earth. That thought alone made me groan last night and punch a pillow before I finally willed my mind to calm down and erase the knowledge of his existence—or of the very obvious drawing of his eyes in my sketchbook, which I started considering my journal at some point.

If the lack of sleep wasn’t enough to put me in a sour mood, then the chilly air of the morning certainly made me grit my teeth as I stormed back inside the house to grab my beige and maroon plaid flannel shirt before running off to catch the bus to university. Currently, Seulgi and I were sat in the cafeteria enjoying our lunches—well, she was, my appetite never found me today—as I chewed the last bits of my quite simple sandwich I have packed in a haste this morning, Seulgi’s mouth, despite being full, was constantly moving and spouting information after information. I was only half-heartedly listening to her at this point—I swear to God, Wooyoung has been the center of our conversation for the past half an hour—as I held my pencil between my fingers and mindlessly doodled in my sketchbook. I wasn’t drawing anything particular, just random shapes which my brain felt necessary to draw as Seulgi suddenly hiccupped, face turning red. I cast her a glance as she quickly opened her bottle of water and chugged down at least half of its contents.

“Are you good?” I asked amused as she fanned her face.

“I think I almost just died.” Her answer made me snort as I grabbed the apple off my tray and bit into it, almost instantly regretting it as I was never a fan of apples.

“No wonder, you keep talking with your mouth full.” I muttered and Seulgi rolled her eyes as she went back to eating her lunch, smiling to herself like an idiot. I rolled my eyes but basked in the silence, finally able to have a little bit of peace of mind. I loved Seulgi and her random rambles, but not when they were about Wooyoung. And lately he seemed to be the only thing she talked about.

“Did you get to rest last night?” She asked as she gulped down her soup, eyebrows furrowed as she took in my appearance, seemingly finally aware that I looked tired. I shook my head with a sigh and turned the page of my sketchbook as I have filled the other one with shapes. Seulgi glanced down at the clean page and grimaced, leaning in closer towards me, “Just how stressed are you right now? That’ll be your third page in the past fifteen minutes.”

“I’m not really stressed,” I corrected her, taking another bite of the apple and regretting it again, “I’m just bored and probably restless.”

“Why?” Seulgi inquired and I shrugged, pressing the pencil against the white sheet of paper and carefully starting to draw sharp and precise lines.

“Don’t know,” I muttered, eyebrows furrowing when suddenly the cafeteria was filled with noise as if a whole crowd entered it, “Mom says it’s the full moon.”

“That was like…almost two weeks ago.” Seulgi gave me a deadpanned look and I chuckled, shrugging again. I most certainly wasn’t going to tell her that I haven’t slept well last night because I drew Mingi’s eyes and then freaked out over it, and was still pretty much freaking out about it, because I didn’t know what this meant and why it happened. And I really didn’t want to find out as I mindlessly pressed a small but firm dot underneath the lines I drew on the left side of the paper.

“I don’t know then, Seulgi, you know I have periods when I can’t sleep.” Seulgi hummed at my response and then a coy smile made its way onto her lips and I raised my eyebrows, pressing her to go on and tell me what was on her mind.

“What did you think of Noir Zenith?” I didn’t want to talk about this.

“They were fine.” I answered boredly, drawing a small semi-circle underneath the sharp lines, “Nothing too impressive. I’m now convinced you only like them because of Wooyoung.”

“Stop!” Seulgi shushed me with a blush and pointed her fork at me threateningly, “I actually enjoy their music, alright?! I liked the band before I started liking Wooyoung, so stop being mean.”

“Whatever,” I stuck my tongue out at her as I added a bit of shading to the drawing, “I expected their music to be worse, that I’ll admit, however, I only vibed with Seonghwa and Wooyoung—”

“Yeah, you made that very clear, Y/N.” Seulgi cut me off with a sharp tone and it brought a sheepish smile onto my lips as I was about to take another bite of my apple just as I narrowed my eyes at the drawing, staring at it for a second longer. And then it clicked. Fuck. I quickly shut my sketchbook closed as I threw my pencil on the table, groaning loudly. I couldn’t believe it. Why was I doing this? Why was I drawing Mingi’s eyes again?

『I think I found a new addiction

It feels so right』

“What?” Seulgi asked confused as she gazed at my closed sketchbook.

“Nothing.” I muttered lowly, banging my head against the table once before taking another bite of my apple, trying to ignore the way my heart started to race. There must be something about his eyes if my brain decided to burn it into its memory and recall it at any given time my pencil touched a piece of paper as I let loose to draw mindlessly.

“You’ve been acting weird all day long, Y/N.” Seulgi raised an eyebrow and I sighed, slouching down in my seat as suddenly there was a roar of cheers. I wasn’t interested at all to know what was happening behind me; therefore I found no desire in myself to turn around and look. It was probably the football team or some noisy first year’s having a little bit too much fun in the cafeteria while they totally disregard that, perhaps, some people would like to hear their own thoughts while given a longer break from their studies. My lips pulled into a sneer and I almost turned around to find the culprits I could glower at, but Seulgi found her voice again now that she was done with her lunch, “Wooyoung complimented my outfit twice last night, Y/N, twice! I was seriously freaking out!”

“Oh, wow,” I muttered unimpressed, not having it in me to tell her that she’s told me that information three times now, “and yet you kept stressing about it.”

“I couldn’t help myself,” Seulgi pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “I was so nervous. It was the first time he invited me to their performance—”

“Haven’t you seen them countless of times before last night?” I asked with narrowed eyes and Seulgi rolled her eyes with a tsk.

“But this was different, Y/N, you’re so impossible I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this—”

“Yeah, me neither.” I gaped at her fakely, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “This is the third time I’m hearing everything, Seulgi.”

“Well, sorry for being excited about my crush finally showing interest in me.” Seulgi’s voice hardened as she snapped and I pouted, knowing that I have upset her. She threw me a glare as she grabbed her phone, acting uninterested as I reached over the table and softly gripped her wrist. I knew she couldn’t resist when I acted cute.

“Sorry, you know I’m cranky when I don’t sleep, don’t get mad.” I coerced her with a sweet voice and she just spared me a glance before going back to her phone. I sighed dramatically and retreated my hand, falling back into my chair and groaning as I closed my eyes briefly. My muscles were sore from sitting almost all day long, and my eyes hurt from too much light and staring at my sketchbook even when it wasn’t necessary. I opened my eyes and allowed them to roam over the cafeteria as I decided to quickly finish the little apple I have left over and took in the students around us. All groups were enjoying their free time quietly, speaking amongst themselves in a moderate tone, not loud enough to disturb anyone, yet there was one fucking table which just wouldn’t shut up, and fed up with it, I whirled around in my chair and searched for them, nose flaring in irritation. However, when my eyes landed on the culprits, my heart fell into my ass and my jaw clenched as I allowed the vicious glare to overtake my features as I sent daggers towards them. There he sat. At the table closest to the entrance, clad in a much more casual outfit compared to last night with sunglasses obscuring his view—who the fuck wears sunglasses inside—as he was surrounded by at least five girls. Mingi was leaning back in his chair, body falling against it awkwardly as his limbs were too long for it, legs spread out wide as he currently had his hands behind his head, smirking up at the blonde girl from the pub. Huh, so she goes to our university, should’ve expected that.

“Disgusting.” I sneered quietly, enticed by the view as my body wallowed in irritation, hatred and disgust, wishing for nothing more than to slam my sketchbook against Mingi’s head and scream the most creative profanities in his face. He was just asking for it with his smug face and shit eating grin, acting like he was a God, above everyone else, making girls swoon for his ass when he wasn’t even all that great.

“What’s—oh.” Seulgi cut herself off once her eyes followed my gaze and she chuckled. I could see her raise an eyebrow from the corner of my eyes as she watched me before looking back at Mingi, leaning back in her chair as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, “You never explained why you hate him so much.”

“Ugh, just look at him!” That was all Seulgi had to say to set me off, “He’s self-centered and conceited! He’s a jerk and he treats everyone else like they are less than him, and oh, my God, don’t even get me started about his stupid smirk which screams, ‘oh, look! I’m better than you ever will be, and by the way, you’re dumb as fuck!’, God, I hate the guy.”

Seulgi’s eyebrows went up to her hairline that’s how high they were raised as I turned around to look at her, having seen enough of Mingi’s stupid side profile as he smirked and laughed at every stupid thing those girls were probably saying to him, “Okay, Miss I hate his pants so much I can’t stop staring at him; that was intense, what the fuck. Poor Mingi, he didn’t even do anything to you and here you are—dragging his ass like he killed your cat or something, Y/N.”

“That would be the last straw—”

“You don’t even have a cat.” Seulgi deadpanned and I sighed exasperated, throwing an irritated smile her way. She was supposed to be on my side, not defending an asshole when she could clearly see how much distaste I had towards him.

“Whatever, I just can’t stand him, alright?” I muttered at last with a huff and Seulgi cocked an eyebrow as her phone pinged, quickly looking down at it. Her mouth instantly stretched into a huge smile and she started bouncing her legs up and down as she slapped the table once very loudly.

“I’m about to die—” She took a deep breath as she squealed quietly, looking at me like she has won the lottery or something, “Wooyoung finally asked me to hang out!”

I smiled at my best friend, happy that things were going well for her, “So, it’s a date then?”

“Not yet.” She smiled as she was texting back, biting her lower lip with a huge smile on her face, “But perhaps soon.”

“Oh, he better ask you out soon,” I muttered just as another roar of squealing disturbed my pace of mind and I have reached my limit for today, that was it, “Or I’ll make him regret being born.”

Seulgi cackled at that as I grabbed my sketchbook and pencil and showed them inside my backpack, “Y/N! That’s too much, don’t you think—Where are you going?”

“Class.” I answered curtly, throwing my flannel shirt around my exposed shoulders as I wore a dark blue off-shoulder long sleeved blouse, paired with black ripped jeans and fishnets underneath.

“We’ve got like ten more minutes until then—”

“Yeah, but if I hear Mingi’s bitches squealing again in the next three seconds I might go ahead and jump out the fucking window.” I deadpanned and Seulgi bit her lower lip as it quivered, threatening to burst out into laughter. It wasn’t funny, and so, I gave her a harmless glare.

“Oh, God, you’re impossible. I can’t believe you’re this cranky.” She said as she finally started laughing.

“This isn’t me being cranky, this is me being irritated by someone’s whole ass existence, anyways, see you!” I called as I took off before Seulgi could say anything else, I knew she’d be following me soon after as we had to walk to the other side of campus to reach the Art’s building.

『Run, baby, run

Run for your life

I'ma tear out your heart

It'll always be mine』

I steeled my expression and pushed my shoulders back as I took off towards the exit, gripping the straps of my backpack tightly. The closer I got to it—which meant I was also getting closer and closer to the table Mingi sat at—the louder those girls voices got. Anyone close enough could hear what they were screaming about—okay, they weren’t screaming, but they were loud—and it made me bite my lower lip as I started tapping my finger against the strap of the backpack, trying to calm my nerves. But Mingi was just sitting there, basking in the attention, grinning and laughing loudly at the very shitty and poor attempts of flirting of the girls, and I really didn’t mean to, but my eyes landed on them and my jaw fell a little bit open when I noticed him signing some stupid looking banner with his face plastered all over it as a black-haired girl was gushing about his looks and deep voice. Where the hell were we? Highschool?! I knew Seulgi was praying right now to all the existing Gods and asking them to let me pass by their table without no disturbances, but that just wasn’t possible as my cheeks flushed in disgust and anger, shooting a sharp glare at the side of Mingi’s face.

“Even your autograph is pretty.” One of the girl’s sighed dreamily, “Can you get any more perfect?”

“Oh, angel, you haven’t even seen everything and you’re already head over heels for me?” Mingi’s voice dropped a few octaves as he blinked up at the girl seductively and I might have as well thrown up in my mouth. I scoffed as I passed behind him, stomping my feet perhaps a little bit too hard as I noticed two girls glance my way.

“Assuming things once again, aren’t you?” My tone was snappy and ice cold as I threw in the comment in passing. I didn’t intend on stopping, but Mingi’s instant reply made me halt.

“Insulting others once again, aren’t you?” I huffed quietly as I bit my lower lip, whirling around. For a second I was taken aback by the unimpressed looks thrown my way by the girls, but I didn’t let it show on my face.

“Only those worthy of getting put in their places, Mingi.” I allowed a cheeky smile slip onto my lips as I stared him down, his eyebrows slightly furrowing. I was surprised to see the dark eyeshadow give more depth at the outer corner of his eyes, the makeup being absent last night. His lips were shiny and you could see the blemishes clearly on his jawline now, his black hair still covering his forehead messily. His grey jumper was oversized and reached mid-thigh over his denim jeans; matching jacket draped around his chair.

“Isn’t it a delight seeing you today as well, Y/N.” Mingi’s tone was mocking as he raised one eyebrow, making me roll my eyes, “Good morning.”

“My morning was good until I heard your puppets and you giggling as if we were in highschool—and it’s noon, Mingi, thought you were smart enough to know lunch time was during noon.”

“What’s your problem?” The blonde snapped and placed a possessive hand on Mingi’s shoulder, which made him cast her a side glance. His lips twitched, and for a second—just a little second—I was able to see the irritation in his eyes at the unwanted touch; it almost made me furrow my eyebrows and throw a questioning glance at Mingi, but I stopped myself. I was certainly misreading his expressions. He loved this, the attention and praises. He was pathetic.

“You and the dude you’re worshiping as if he were a Greek God—” I sighed dramatically, leaning down a little as I made eye contact with Mingi, “Get over yourself.”

It made him chuckle and his nose scrunched up, eyes slightly becoming smaller, but there was no humor in the sound he made, “At least they don’t show up to a performance without knowing the artists and start shitting on them unwarranted, insulting them as if they were superior to them. I say you’ve got something to learn from these girls, Y/N.”

I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “Yeah, like what? How to pucker my lips and bat my eyelashes at you to gain your attention? Or throw in cringey flirting and nonconsensual touches?” 

The girls seemed shocked as I threw them all a glare before my gaze landed on the embarrassing banner as I felt Mingi’s heated gaze on my face. He didn’t say anything as his jaw clenched, palms balling up into fists. My eyes fell back on him and our gazes locked, both of us annoyed at this point, as we stared each other down, glares molding into one sharp look as we both refused to look away first. If he thought I was going to back down, he was wrong. His sharp eyes were narrow as a fierce look glazed over them, and for a split second, my eyes fell on the mole underneath his right eye. The drawing I was doodling not even half an hour ago flashed in my mind and I clicked my tongue, suddenly irritated with myself and with Mingi for getting to me so easily.

『Oh, there she go

Losing my head』

“Your silence says everything I needed to know—”

“Don’t get too cocky, smarty pants, silence speaks louder at times and you’re down right embarrassing yourself right now.” My jaw hung open at Mingi’s next words, which were harsh and hissed out as his raspy voice reached my ears, and I sneered at him.

“The only embarrassing one here,” I looked around, “are your puppets, bro. And that fucking shit ass banner.”

Before anyone could say anything I whirled around and stormed off, aware that Seulgi had seen the exchange from afar and was up on her feet, basically scurrying around to gather her things and come to the rescue of Mingi. I just knew she’d have his back and I really didn’t have the energy to sit around and listen to her chastise me in front of him and his baboons. However, I did hear the girls throwing insults after me, Mingi remaining an awful lot silent. It’s not like he could’ve said anything. And I knew he wished to say them to my face, to see the rise he got out of me. I scoffed as I stormed out the building, wanting to let out a frustrated cry in the meantime.

『Please don't waste any time

The sirens are turning red

I found a whole another vice』

            It had gotten dark outside by the time Seulgi and I headed to our curricular art class, fog slowly settling upon our little town as the lampposts illuminated the dark streets, casting an aery yet comforting feeling. I would have to walk home later tonight, but I found the thought relaxing and much needed after the tumultuous day I have had. I couldn’t stand still all day after the encounter with Mingi and his baboons, I couldn’t help but mull over his words over and over again, so much so, that I got called out in one of the classes by the professor. It was embarrassing, but what was even more embarrassing was that one of the girl’s from the table shared three classes with me and kept sending me unwanted glares, pissing me off to no end. If Seulgi wouldn’t have been by my side the whole day, I probably would’ve confronted the girl and cussed her out, ruining my image more in her eyes, if that was even possible.

I was slouched forward, chin resting on my palm and elbow pressing into my thigh as I listened to Seulgi ramble on about how her hangout with Wooyoung went. Her cheeks had a constant flush on them and I grinned as she sucked in a deep breath as she desperately needed it after talking for a few good minutes without stopping.

“And he bought me coffee too even though I never asked,” She bit her lip, trying to contain herself, “He was waiting for me with it in his hands.”

“That’s sweet of him.” I mumbled and looked behind Seulgi, looking out towards the class. Today not many could make, there was a total of five students sitting around the room, working diligently on their sketches. Today’s theme was the human body, a shape or an outline of your choice. It could be a face, a body, or a shadow like figure. Everyone had free reign of choosing the style as long as it was a human shape.

“I know, and his hands were freezing cold,” Seulgi gushed, “So, I gave him my gloves.”

“The Hello Kitty ones?” I asked with a quiet chuckle, turning the pencil over in my hands. I was itching to get started on our assignment, but Seulgi was on her rant once again and I didn’t want to interrupt her again. I have felt bad all day long for upsetting her in the cafeteria; I shouldn’t ruin her mood just because I’m cranky myself.

“Yes!” Seulgi laughed while covering her mouth, “And he looked so cute wearing them, Y/N! We couldn’t stop giggling about it. Pink might be his color.”

“You should’ve dared him to wear something pink at their next performance.” I added with a chuckle, making Seulgi giggle as her cheeks flushed even a darker shade of red. If she kept up with this, her whole face would turn red and she’d look like a tomato.

“I don’t think that would fit the whole rocker concept they have going on.” She muttered with a chuckle and I just shrugged, glancing at my bare paper. I hoped Seulgi would get the hint that I really wanted to start drawing now, but she opened her mouth again.

“He suggested we take a selfie—” Seulgi let out a dreamy sigh, “I don’t think I have enough self-control to not set it as my lock screen.”

“Wouldn’t that be too fast?” I wondered, raising an eyebrow at her. Seulgi nodded, looking slightly defeated.

“It would, I just hope the day will come when I’ll be able to do so.” Her voice got quieter as she looked down at the ground and I didn’t like the sudden drop of confidence. So, I grabbed her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, smiling at her encouragingly.

“It will come, stop doubting everything and just go with the flow.” I offered her a big smile, “I know Wooyoung is a generally nice guy, but his kindness feels different with you. It’s sweet.”

“Stop.” Seulgi hushed me, lightly slapping my arm, “You’re feeding into my delusions, I don’t want to get hurt if things really don’t end well.”

“Have some faith in him, yeah?” I slapped my hands together as I straightened in my seat, glancing at Seulgi’s usual spot, “Shouldn’t you start drawing, though? We’ve got an hour only today.”

“Shit!” Seulgi exclaimed loudly as if she just remembered where we were and what we were doing, “I totally forgot what I’m supposed to be doing right now, this is embarrassing.”

“Off you go!” I shooed her off with a laugh and Seulgi scrambled to her place, face red as she quickly tied her long hair in a low ponytail, eyebrows furrowing as she opened her sketchbook. Despite Wooyoung being the only thing on her mind, I knew she wouldn’t be drawing him. Seulgi was spontaneous and very creative. She found it easy to draw whatever was on her mind, whether it was human shaped, abstract, or a landscape. She had a natural talent when it came to human figures and she absolutely loved drawing anyone whom she had in mind. Which was the opposite of me. I couldn’t draw just anyone. It took me lots of hours of studying and tracing ones features with imaginary lines, mapping out their faces and bodies in my mind carefully before putting them on paper. I needed a muse when it came to drawing humans, and before dating Yunho, I never even had one. Before dating Yunho, I could barely draw an eye. During our relationship I learned many things about myself, and one of them was that I needed to hyper fixate on something—or someone—if I wanted to place them on a paper. It wasn’t obsession, I wouldn’t call it that, it simply was something I found beautiful and inspiring enough to put on paper. I usually did it mindlessly too, used to always drawing Yunho when it came to this subject, so I didn’t bat an eyelash as I relaxed my muscles and allowed my mind to rest as my hand took over, bravely creating lines on the blank paper.

『I always thought it would be easy (easy)

To get you out my mind (mind)』

However, to my utter shock, it didn’t take long for me to realize that the man in my drawing, even by its simple outlines, wasn’t Yunho. It looked nothing like him. My quiet thoughts started to get louder and louder the longer I allowed my hand to trace new lines, go over the older ones and bolden them. Shadows casted over the sharp eyes as I traced the outline of their tall nose, eyebrows scrunching when it seemed like the man was glaring back at me. I couldn’t help but glare back, repulsed by the nagging name ringing through my mind the second I placed the mole underneath his right eye. Mingi. Song Mingi. I didn’t want to admit it. This wasn’t him. The man in my drawing wasn’t Song Mingi. It looked nothing like him. It was pure coincidence that his nose and eyes and moles were in the same spot as Mingi’s. My hand faltered and grip tightened around the pencil once I got to draw the lips, wondering whether I wanted to finish this sketch today—or any other day at all. Deep down I knew I didn’t, but I also hated leaving my works unfinished and there was something deep inside me telling me to suck it up, to stop being childish. It was just a damn drawing. It meant nothing. It really didn’t. Especially since I couldn’t stand him. His annoying stupid smirk. My jaw clenched when Mingi’s smug face stared back at me, almost as if my brain took a picture of his face during lunch break and decided to taunt me by recalling every single detail as I worked diligently.

『I think I found a new addiction

It feels so right』

I have long finished the drawing, giving up to finishing it thoroughly as I felt my muscles spasm just at the thought of perfecting Mingi’s face in my own sketchbook. Anyone could see this. Hell, the other students in this class could ask me to show them my drawing for some inspiration and then I’d be fucked. There’s no way others didn’t know about Mingi and his band. Perhaps I had been the only one living under a rock this whole time, oblivious to the music department and their endeavors at our university. And if word got out that I started drawing Song Mingi, I’d rather die than face him ever again. That simply just wasn’t possible. I refused to even entertain such thought. I’d rather draw my ex of five years and have others think I still wasn’t over him—I seriously am—and bash me for living in the past than start talking about my—inexistent—crush on Song Mingi. The shuffling of papers and sudden movement of others in the room brought me out of my glaring contest with the fake Mingi on my paper and I turned around when I heard my name being called out.

“Could you check this out for me?” Jake, a second-year student, asked shyly. I nodded with a smile and got off my stool, stretching, before I headed his way. He wasn’t an art major, but he apparently had always enjoyed drawing, so he joined our little club. His skills were pretty good, but he still had a lot to learn. As I stopped by his desk, I was met with the face of a girl. She was smiling brightly and the drawing was really good, the shading lacked, but that wasn’t such a big problem.

“Oh, this one is really good, Jake. You’ve gotten a lot better lately.” I offered him an encouraging smile as I patted his back, “Maybe adding a bit more shading next time will do the trick better, hm?”

“Thanks!” Jake beamed as he started gathering his stuff, making me nod as Krystal, a classmate of Seulgi and I, beckoned me over.

“I suck at human shapes, you know that.” She said with a sharp chuckle, lips pulled into a grimace as she slowly turned her sketch around. Yeah, Krystal was really bad at human shapes but it wasn’t something to get judged for. Drawing humans was very difficult and I couldn’t blame her for struggling with it, when, I, myself struggled most of times. However, this drawing presented itself as her best so far.

“This is amazing, Krystal, what are you talking about?!” I exclaimed as I gaped at the outline of two girls leaning onto each other, hugging around the shoulders. One of them was taller and the other one had longer and lighter hair. It must’ve been her older sister and her in the drawing. Their faces weren’t detailed or defined, but their shapes were very beautiful and precise.

“Good, God, I never struggled this hard in my life before.” She said with a sigh and got off her stool as Jake and Yunjin waved goodbye and left. Seulgi bounced over, curious to see Krystal’s drawing, and squealed when she saw it.

“You have to show this to Professor Yoon!” Seulgi exclaimed, “He’ll pass you in a second straight to next year’s class.”

Her comment got Krystal laughing and I shook my head as I walked away once I noticed Yiren struggled packing her stuff away. She was the youngest in our club and a little clumsy, always bumping into things and dropping paint on the floor whenever we were painting. She thanked me quietly as she scrambled around to pack her things and then rushed away shyly, quietly thanking me as she ran out the door. I stopped for a second and wondered why she always looked so intimidated by me. Seulgi walked up to her desk and started putting her things away as well as I walked back to my place, grabbing my backpack to put my pencils away. Krystal and Wheein greeted us in unison before walking out the door, leaving Seulgi and I alone. She approached me with a huge grin on her face, dangling her drawing carelessly between her fingers. I chuckled as I watched her, raising an eyebrow, “Who did you draw?”

“Oh, Joohyun!” Seulgi grinned and showed me her drawing eagerly, her cousin’s face staring back at me as she was laughing hard. I could hear Joohyun’s cackling laughter echo in my head and I smiled at the drawing, missing the girl. She was a few years older than us and had moved away to a different country in order to pursue her modelling career. Seulgi and Joohyun were like sisters, and being Seulgi’s best friend, I had the pleasure of meeting the phenomenal woman her cousin was.

“This is so gorgeous, Seulgi.” I said with a pout and a sigh, “You made me miss Joohyun now.”

“She’s visiting in two months!” Seulgi exclaimed, the news sweeping excitement into my veins as my eyes widened.

“Really?!”

“Yes!” Seulgi grinned, closing her sketchbook, “I can’t wait for us to hang out, it’s been too long since we’ve seen Joohyun.”

“Indeed.” I sighed and picked up the rubber I have dropped like an hour ago, “I also wish I had your skills when it comes to drawing human shapes.”

“Why? So that you can draw Yunho better?” Seulgi’s cackle wasn’t malicious but there was slight judgement in her eyes as I rolled mine.

“You’re so funny today, have I already told you?” I mocked her and Seulgi huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“What? Tell me I’m wrong.” But before I could tell her she was wrong, she was speaking again, “I know you drew him again, Y/N.”

“I didn’t!” My response was too fast and defensive and I regretted speaking up the second I saw Seulgi’s eyes flash with interest.

“You didn’t draw Yunho?” She asked shocked, not even bothering to hide it. I sighed lowly, awaiting the questions tumbling off her lips for the next thirty minutes, “Who is it then?”

“No one important.” I muttered, eyes falling on the drawing, making me realize that I had to put it away before Seulgi got the chance of seeing it. I wouldn’t live another day if she got even a glimpse of it, “Let’s go.”

But as I reached for the sketchbook, Seulgi slapped my hand away hard—it started stinging instantly—and ripped my sketchbook off the drafting board. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second as her eyes took in the drawing, and then, a loud gasp left her lips as her eyes shot up, staring at me wide eyed, confusion written all over her face.

『Run, baby, run

Run for your life

Gonna tear out your heart

It'll always be mine』

“This isn’t Yunho—”

“I told you—”

“Bitch, this is Song fucking Mingi?!” Seulgi’s voice raised and I gulped, mentally preparing myself for the screaming and nagging to follow. But Seulgi sounded an awful lot composed despite the various emotions written all over her face, “What is Song Mingi doing in your drawing?”

“That’s not Song Mingi.” Was the best I could do as I scoffed, gripping the sketchbook as I tried to yank it out of her hands, but Seulgi was gripping it firmly.

“Yeah, sure, and I’m fucking blind then—” Seulgi rolled her eyes before giving me a deadpan look, “This is Mingi, Y/N, you’re not bullshitting your way out of this. Now, explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain.” I didn’t mean to snap, but it happened, “It’s not Mingi. Why the hell would I even draw that fucker? It’s just a random face which popped into my head and I drew it mindlessly, alright? Maybe it looks like Mingi, but it’s not him.”

“Yeah, sure, and I’m the fucking Pope in Vatican—”

“Seulgi!” I snapped and tugged on the sketchbook again, finally getting her to release it. She didn’t seem too impressed as I quickly shut the sketchbook and grabbed my backpack, slinging it over my shoulder, “Shut up and let’s just go.”

“The hell am I shutting up, bitch.” Seulgi scoffed as she got her backpack too, “That’s Mingi and you can’t gaslight me with this one. Are you into him—”

“Oh, my God!” I exclaimed with disgust ridden all over my face, “Do you even hear yourself right now?! How could I be into him? I hate his guts!”

“That’s why you fucking drew him—”

“I didn’t draw him!” I finally exclaimed just as we got out the room, Seulgi shutting the door loudly behind us after she turned the lights off.

“You’ve been acting hella weird ever since we’ve been to Outlaw, Y/N, what are you not telling me?” Seulgi leaned against the wall as I locked up the room.

“I am not acting weird and there’s nothing I’m not telling you, so, will you just drop this whole thing?” I snapped, raising my eyebrows at her in irritation. Seulgi bit her lower lip and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she looked like she was contemplating. But one another glance at my face and she knew she wouldn’t get anything out of me, so she just sighed and shook her head as she pushed off the wall.

“Fine, let it be your way,” She muttered, falling in step with me by my side, “At least it’s not Yunho anymore. You’re finally getting over him—”

“Bitch, I’ve been over him for ages.” I threw my best friend a sharp glare and she just chuckled, shaking her head at me. I held back the urge to slap the back of her head hard in hopes that her delusional thoughts would get slapped out of her head with the effort.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She mocked and before I could go off on her again, she faced me and smiled brightly, “Want to get McDonald’s before we head home?”

All thoughts of Mingi and wanting to hold a whole ass speech to Seulgi about him flew out of my mind at the mention of said junk food and I nodded eagerly, linking my arm with Seulgi’s as she started talking about a girl in her history class and how she managed to embarrass herself and her professor at the same time today.

『Run, baby, run

Run, baby, run』

❱❱ Next chapter

[anoncat-007]

Universe: Horror Welcome Home

Trigger Warning: Horror, Light Blood, Disturbing Themes, Scopophobia.

Word Count: 3518.

Summary: In this universe, Welcome Home characters come to the real world and it takes place in the show's recording studio. I came up with this idea after seeing so many alternate Welcome Home universes and it inspired me to make my own. And I hope you like this universe that I created.

Capítulo 1

🔴 In trade, puppets were just lifeless and soulless puppets, just characters from a children's program, but as the program was new, it didn't have much audience ( in fact, almost zero audience ) or studio to make the best footage and much less sponsors , the recordings were made in such a small room in some shed that it is stuffy on the hottest days, with the cheapest materials to make the scenery and the characters.

🔴 The puppeteers were common people with no experience or almost nothing, they are close friends of the creator who helped his friend realize his dream in his spare time for free.

🔴 So because of that, the Welcome Home Program only aired a few times a week at cheaper times on little-known channels, with that the program would be canceled even before they became famous.

🔴 Creator Ronald Dorelaine, desperate and determined to make his creations recognized, started doing everything to make his dreams come true, taking out loans, doing favors for dubious people, even selling everything he had, but none of that helped the program. And because of these problems your friends are losing hope in this project, so in the midst of despair and a little hope your last solution was the occult and alchemy.

🔴 Where Dorelaine managed to make a pact with some entity where they would give him everything he wanted ( fame and recognition ) with the price he would pay later, with that Welcome Home became famous overnight, the characters seemed so alive and real for everyone who watched and always made you want to never stop watching.

🔴 A few months later... With the fame of Welcome Home, Dorelaine got what she wanted most and much more than she imagined, and with that she had so much but there came a time when she wanted more than the current studio and the fame he already had ( he wanted more ). So, when the first season of Welcome Home ended, Dorelaine announced to the media his new project to build a studio big enough where he could have the exact replica of the small village of Welcome Home to be able to make everything better/perfect as he said, a place so big and vast that even the employees managed to live there.

🔴 But everything had unforeseen events during the creation of the studio, many construction workers had freak accidents causing lifelong injuries, but Dorelaine managed and paid the media and police of the time and even employees to forget about these unwanted accidents.

🔴 Other than that, the new studio was finished, and with that some employees and the creator himself started to live there. So, everything was ready, the puppeteers, the voice actors and the entire studio team were ready to start recording the second season of Welcome Home with all the best and most modern equipment they had at the time and with the puppets so well detailed and redone that seemed to have come out of the drawings themselves. But what Dorelaine didn't expect is that the same entity that made her dream come true came to collect the debt from him, and he didn't like it and refused to do what the entity wanted, and somehow with the knowledge that Dorelaine had he managed to arrest the entity, of course this made the entity furious and vengeful, promising before they were arrested and expelled where they came from, pain and suffering for everyone around him and for him.

🔴 For a while, everything went well for Deloraine again, but what Deloraine didn't count on is that little by little strange things were happening in her recording studio.

🔴 The employees reported the lack of food ( especially the apples were disappearing ), some employees felt that they were being watched while handling or preparing the scenery for the episodes, drawings or messages were found, but what scared the employees the most was the final sadness from the employee who voices Wally, that somehow the spotlight fell on him. As a result, some employees resigned out of fear, claiming that the building was cursed or haunted.

🔴 In the moments before the entity was imprisoned in its last moments of freedom, they awakened the protagonist of the show and his home, but as the entity did not have enough strength and time, they were unable to influence and control their creations to be able to bring them back or revenge them for what Dorelaine did to them.

[pixlokita]

im with you, i hate that it feels like its gregory vs cassie in the fandom rn. theyre KIDS.

i also dont think its gregory in the main(?) ending (there are so many things that make it not make sense for it to be him), and it bothers me so much that people are pouncing on “gregory is evil” - he is a CHILD.

i really hope people dont pester you about drawing them as friends, i personally would love some art from you with them being friends <3 as much as i am a fan of the angst potential of that ending, cassie being tricked by the mimic (grimic? is that actually the canon name..?) one last time to pit her against gregory when really neither side did anything wrong is far moe interesting in concept than “gregorys just evil” could ever be imo.

i personally love feral/menace gregory, but hes not evil - again, hes a kid! and hes been in terrible circumstances! im not sure i could even really be mad if that WAS him in the elevator - a genuinely terrifying threat was released, and he might not be able to trust cassies voice, just like she couldnt trust his. we know cassie was okay, that the mimic wasnt with her (well, aside from the arm), but gregory had no way of knowing any of that.

seemingly, hes with vanessa and freddy. if he risked it and it WAS the mimic and not cassie, he could lose everything and more all over again. i cant imagine being a kid having to make such an awful decision. keep your current family safe, or risk everything in case your best friend somehow made it?

he knows how dangerous the plex is. and i can only imagine how much more dangerous hed expect it to be now. he barely made it out with freddys help, and as far as he knows, cassie doesnt have someone there to help her.

i feel so bad for gregory, both in-game, and in the fandom! he doesnt deserve all this hate.

sorry, that wasnt supposed to be a tangent - my point is im a gregory defender and 100% on your side. i hope no one is a prick about you drawing cassie and gregory as friends. ill personally fight them for u pix i promise

I agree with a lot of what you said tbh and heck dude Gregory is indeed a child, he’s even had to do things he didn’t want to do and got the short end of the stick every time. Cassie is a bean also, like she didn’t deserve to be tricked she didn’t deserve to be traumatized and she didn’t deserve to also get the short end of the stick either. It’s just I just really can’t accept that Gregory would do that to her either and ? If I’m wrong then okay? But like that’s just what I chose to believe and what I chose to draw I don’t get why people have to prove me wrong about it or pull lore nonsense into it to make sure I feel like I’m wrong. I mean =w= even retorting to insults like we’re in kindergarten is just ridiculous?Plus other people being stupid made me give up on interacting with anyone on that particular art piece. I felt like the end of ruin wasn’t satisfying so I drew art to feel better and try to understand it better and people took it personally =w= very mature honestly, they could just make their own art and leave mine alone.

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

Okay so Pokémon Legends Z-A!  What the fuck!  Wow!

One big concern I want to get out of the way first: apparently the game is going to take place entirely within Lumiose City.  And I mean, Lumiose is the biggest city in Pokémon, but what about the whole rest of Kalos?  Also how will we encounter Pokémon?  Surely they’re not all city-dwellers.  I have to wonder if this was a miscommunication, but I guess we’ll see.

Anyway: YES!!  Not only are we getting a new Legends game (PLA was immediately one of my favorite games in the series), but it’s set in the woefully under-utilized Kalos region!  Kalos is a well of untapped potential, and this has the chance to be a very striking way to finally draw it out.  They knew exactly what they were doing when they let that Z linger on-screen.  AND, not only THAT, but the franchise is taking 24 off and saving this game for NEXT YEAR!  Thank God, this is great news for GameFreak’s employees, and if Pokémon of all things sets this precedent it could have a HUGE impact on the industry.

As for why it’s “Z-A”…who knows?  I’m sure at least part of it is the creators wanting to come up with a more unique name, which is fair.  The hyphen makes it seem like a range covering the entire alphabet, which could signify something all-encompassing, and reversing it to go from end to beginning likely plays into the cycle of life and death represented by Xerneas and Yveltal (in this case, death must occur for new life to take its place, or something along those lines).

I’m glad (and amused) that they specifically showed Furfrou in the teaser, as it’s currently one of the last few Pokémon yet to be available in a mainline Switch game.  After this, I believe it’s just Patrat/Watchog and the Elemental Monkeys?  Maybe they’ll toss them all in to finish rounding things out.

Part of me does wonder if the prevalence of Unown in the Presents could be significant…but probably not.  As the world’s biggest Unown fan I adored their sidequest in PLA, but Unown haven’t appeared in Kalos previously and it would make more sense to revisit Zygarde Cells for this sort of quest.

And Mega Evolution!  Honestly it feels a bit weird to say it’s “back” when it’s remained prevalent in everything but the mainline games, but I’ll get over it, I’m still thrilled!  Mega Evolutions in a Legends game!  I have to imagine we’ll get some additional information on it; there’s a good chance the game will feature Kalos’s first discovery of Mega Evolution, too.  On the chance of getting new Megas…I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it would make a lot of sense!  Though I definitely still want new regional forms too.  Maybe I’m being greedy.  But speaking of forms, if the do give new forms to Xerneas and Yveltal, I hope they look better than Dialga and Palkia’s Origin Formes, those still bother me.

I’m personally hoping this one won’t be an isekai.  PLA did end up utilizing it well enough, but I’d still prefer to stay as grounded in this particular time period as possible.  Something about giving you a magic smartphone in ye olde past just feels…I dunno, patronizing?  But since Arceus probably won’t be involved this time and I don’t see any of the XYZ trio opening time portals, I think there’s a good chance of avoiding the isekai angle.  One related thing that brings to my attention is space-time distortions; they’d probably be a poor fit here on a thematic level, so I hope they’re able to come up with a good stand-in.  Maybe Mega energy suddenly flares up in a region and affects the Pokémon?  Will we encounter wild Megas?  Wait, Alphas are still a thing, right…?

Come to think of it, how will the Pokédex be handled?  I really liked the approach of creating the region’s first Dex; perhaps it could be an element of this “redevelopment” process?  I hope so.  Anyway I could list things I want to see for hours but I think this is sufficient to communicate what sort of headspace I’m in regarding this announcement.  Hon hon hon baguette Prism Tower, everyone!

[starwalker03]

The worst thing Bruce could do is have a Batman gambit and reveal he knows who the new Deathstroke is and didn’t tell anyone but Clark. How would Dick react to that?

So I had a good idea of what batman gambit meant but I googled it to be sure and wow. That's an actual recognised thing. Huh. Honestly that's almost funny.

Anyway. That'd be fucking hilarious. Oh my god can you imagine. Like. First of all we gotta think of the situation. Why does he have to do this? The most sense is he's atte lying to psych Deathstroke out and manipulate him into giving himself away. I have an idea where this'd likely happen in canon but all I can imagine, without spoiling, is that Bruce says it to Artemis when the league finally talks to her. And she ferries this back to Dick like 'oh my god dude. Dude. DUDE. HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE'

Which. Oh boy that would not go well.

Part of me wants to believe Dick knows Brice well enough to see through it and recognise it as a batman gambit, because it's very much a cliche batman move. But. This would cause such an emotional reaction I don't think Dick would be able to see it. And even if he could there's be a very angry voice in his head screaming 'HE KNOWS HE KNOWS HE KNOWS AND HES DONE NOTHING'

Oh boy. Honestly the only way it ends is by Dick confronting him. He has so much emotional turmoil over all of this and hearing that Bruce actually has known who he is. Possibly all along. Dick now gets to analyse every small thing in hopes of figuring out when Bruce found out. Perhaps Slade told him? Or Bruce saw his face on security camera footage? Or an endless assortment of guesses. Dick has barely come face to face with Bruce over the decade because Slade kept them apart so everything he's analysing isn't even something he was part of firsthand, it's all from a third person perspective of how Bruce has behaved in the past ten years.

So yeah. It ends with a confrontation. It ends with Dick jumping him on a patrol and hanging him off a very tall building. Or it ends with Dick killing every active mobster currently on Brice's radar to draw his attention and empty his schedule so he can yell at Bruce on top of a building.

It ends with Dick screaming at him because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW. HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?

And Bruce realises that he's made a very big mistake because he has no idea who Deathstroke is and this is not the reaction he was expecting. He just has to bluff. But everything he says in hopes of de-escalating the situation is not working.

How long have you known? Since Slade Wilson died. (seems a recent enough time, and also would have been a lot of chaotic things happening that something could slip without Deathstroke noticing he'd given himself away) [he's known since I was free. Since Slade was gone. He didn't come for me. He didn't try to stop me from taking up the mantle. He found out and he left me]

Why didn't you track me down? Why have you never tried to speak to me? We didn't have bulletproof evidence of Wilson's passing till you attacked Red Arrow. I've seen your files as Renegade, by then I assumed you'd made your decision to follow your masters footsteps. (this makes sense. This is something anyone may think in my situation) [master? My master?? he thinks- he doesn't- he didn't want me back. He didn't care to find me. He thinks I want this]

You're a fucking piece of work Bruce you know that. Everything he ever told me about you is true. I suppose it's up to you to decide if that's true. Don't blame me for what he's done, or what you keep deciding to do. (why is he taking this so personally? Why would he call me by name? Why would Slade make a point to put dirt on my name?) [He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't UNDERSTAND]

Fucking hell Bruce. How do you even live with yourself. I may be the mercenary but you're just as bad as any of them. God how do put that mask on and call yourself a hero while you drag more innocent kids into the line of fire to save you. I have never put my children in danger. You've killed two of them now haven't you? And you didn't even try to save either of them. I've heard about Jason, I know what he did when he came back. God knows how you managed to manipulate him into working with you again, he was better off dead than fighting alongside you! You have no idea what you're talking about! I HAVE NO IDEA? ME? CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF?! who the hell do you think you are?! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW BRUCE, HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING I-

And he stops. And he takes a breath. And he stumbles backwards as he really looks at Bruce for the first time since the start of this conversation. And he realises.

It's a batman gambit. He's bluffing.

He's bluffing.

He doesn't know.

And he just starts laughing. Quietly chuckling until he's leaned over his knees and holding his gut because he has to laugh or he'll break into even more hysterics because BRUCE DOESN'T KNOW.

What the hell are you laughing about? You don't know. You don't. You're bluffing. This is all a bluff, you don't know who I am. Oh my god how did I fucking fall for that? Jesus Bruce you're a real piece of work.

What gave it away?

And Dick would stop. And look at him. And just shake his head with one final laugh. And he'd take off his mask.

Bruce doesn't recognise him for a moment. There's a few seconds of silence as it dawns on him. And Dick watches as it does, hurt by the fact it takes so long, and waits for Bruce to react.

Bruce has no words but he has to make sure. He has to know. He has to hear him say it-

Dick?

Rethinking anything you've just said?

I- I didn't-

You're right. You didn't. You did not. You had no idea, you just hoped it would go your way. And I guess it did, now you do know. Congratulations. Hope you're happy now.

And then he'd leave Batman gaping.

[ahmedmootaz]

So we can get Adventures in Parenthood: Featuring Distorted X if Ayin and Roland loses? :P

What would the children think of Distorted X? And Ayin’s?

What about the annoying gameplay element for Distorted Ayin? Any possibility with AiP: but with Distorted Ayin or nah unlikely?

Dear astrocourier,

Hello again! It's always pleasant to see your asks once more, especially when they're always so interesting, ahah. If anything, I owe you and everyone else who's sending these asks a big thanks for making me think more about these scenarios which were dormant in my mind for a good moment now.

Hmm...Should Distorted!X triumph over Ayin and Roland, I'd say that there would be a few Chapters, or maybe even less, where both Distorted!X and the two remaining members of the Trio of Idiocy both race to try and secure dominance/a chance to reverse the De-Ager's effects once more; while Distorted!X would definitely have a lot of hatred stored up inside, I don't think he'd actively try killing either Ayin or Roland because, at the end of the day, he's Distorting in order to maintain and preserve the happiness and bliss that he and the kids currently enjoy. If he were to kill the kids' fathers, that would go against the whole reason he Distorted in the first place. So yes, I believe there would be a story of sorts, even if not exactly calm or typical, where Distorted!X is involved in the AiP scenario should he win over Ayin and Roland...even if it's a tense part of the story and less casual.

I think the kids would be utterly terrified of Distorted!X at first, something his mind would twist as excitement at seeing his 'better' form, or at least Carmen would whisper so to him; he'd be able to be much more physically competent for his girls, he'd be able to protect them against any harm like the Sweepers again, and he'd be able to preserve the bliss they're currently in thanks to his Distortion being able to overpower Roland and Ayin at once. The kids, of course, would play along once they realise that something isn't quite right, and although X's daughters would recognise the part of him they know and love, they'll also recognise it's deeply twisted in a way they couldn't have imagined and would look to Roland and Ayin for solutions on what to do.

When it comes to Distorted!Ayin, I think there would be no chance at having such a scenario to occur, because I think Ayin as a Distortion would simply be too deadly. Unlike X, who Distorted because being separated from his daughters was the straw that broke the camel's back for him, Ayin would be actively guided by Carmen as her physical man in the City. His Distortion could be in-tune with people's desires and he could violently manifest them quicker than normal and thus Distort people more quickly regardless of who they are. Ayin as a Distortion would seek to selfishly follow Carmen's commands and be with her while abandoning everything he learned; he would abandon the repentance, guilt and pain that he carries and would only chase his own joy and happiness in following (what he thinks) is his beloved Carmen. So Distorted!Ayin would simply be too dangerous to be around, especially if he tries Distorting one of the kids...

And I think this would be his annoying gameplay element: Every select number of turns, say maybe 15 or 10, he would be able to 'draw out' a person's deepest desires, Distorting them based on a specific attribute to their character that I'm not sure what it could be, but that attribute would shape the Distortion you would have to face alongside Ayin. It's essentially a timed battle where, the longer you take, the stronger he gets and the more difficult he gets to beat because he turns members of your team into his pawns.

Once more, thank you for your interesting asks, astrocourier! I hope to see you soon in another ask! As always, be well, take care, and see ya'!

[yuseirra]

Hello, I just wanted to tell you that your work had inspired me to make my own animatics (the first "proper" one is almost ready!), and your art style was the primary influence for my storyboarding. I still remember the first time I watched one of the animatics of yours, and was absolutely blown away by it. Fast forward a year, and I am making my own fan art for another niche, indie game. So, I wanted to thank you personally, and I hope I can share what I did with that inspiration!

I still recall when I first started really imagining animation as it relates to characters in a setting and plot. The animatic of yours is like a knitted blanket, all of the characters go together despite the colour scheme being very different. I was memerized by the coordination - it was like a dance, almost!

So, I started wondering about other games I played, and I thought "Maybe I can try something like that too". It wasn't easy, I suck at art, but I learnt quite a lot. For example, how to blend two different scenes with different rooms in a fluid manner. Or how to protray a character with only a few sketches, as I cannot make every frame colourful.

I deeply recall going back to the"Road Less Taken" video, as well as so many others, and slowing down the speed to 0.5, so I could see every single frame slowly, and trying to figure out how to add movements that won't be too "noisy". In that time, I tried experimenting with art styles, and sort of mixed up a lot of brushes together.

One particular moment was when I tried to make a "dramatic" moment in my badly drawn sketch. I remember seeing that you would take a black and white frame, and then, the next frame would be the same thing but in colour. I thought it was so cool! So, I tried it.

It didn't work out as I hoped (my colouring was messy and poor). The technique I am currently using is by using a black and white sketch, and then the same frame with 3 colours. But I learnt that I could adjust the layers with filters, until the lightening had enough contrast. This way, it would seem "dramatic".

Sorry, that was super long of an ask. My first proper animatic won't be good, but that is another learning experience! If I have the courage, I may post it on Tumblr. Honestly, I really am glad I stumbled upon your videos, else I would not have done all of that drawing and creativity.

So, thank you for everything!

I came across this message first thing in the morning and it's made me have so many different feelings.. before I say anything further, I'd like to tell you that I feel this message is wonderful! I'm glad to have you had stumbled upon my videos, too.

Ah, my Road Less Taken fanvideo.. and my other videos too. Being reminded of it really hurts me because I loved everything I put into it, I put in a lot of passion, I put in a lot of love, I bought the artbook, played the game it was based on and went through to do a full analysis, went back and forth through the plot, I just couldn't bear upholding it though, I just couldn't. I'm sad it turned out to be the way it is now since I was really sure I did a great job with it with the skills I had, and I love what I did with it, but I don't regret having it taken down. It took me some time to muster the courage to do it, and I feel lucky that people were very accepting about it too. ^^ It existed and it was able to give a lot of people fun as it did for me, and I'm very happy that was the case. I know that work of mine was really loved, and I'm glad I could create something that could do something like that. I hope I can do that again and I'd probably have a chance to, since I have a life ahead of me.

Enough about me and let's talk about you and your message! Aaaah wow, this is really incredible! Have you seen my channel though? My early videos (and I may still would draw that way) aren't so colorful and proper you know! A lot of them are consisted of sketches of what I want to see in that certain segment. It's very interesting and exciting to hear from your perspective, because I hadn't considered my movies to be so "proper" enough either!! That's why, I can say for a fact, that "Oh you'll do well and do a wonderful job" with 100% sincerity. You came to the right person. I mean look at me! I posted videos like that all the time and just because I thought it'd be fun! If you went to some other talented artist who has these bizarre techniques and astounding professionalism who could create full-fledged CLEAN animations it may not sound so convincing. But i'm someone who starts from scratches and lines and posts those without shame. Drawing colored movies was a huge challenge in my part as well and it took me awhile to feel I'll be skilled enough to do it- perhaps you're already getting a huge head-start compared to how I started out because moving up that one step for me took years to do.

You can do it!! You can!

If there's something I learned from posting my drawings and works out here, it's that you just do what you wanna do. Not everyone will notice you, and your works may not be blown up out there as you wish it to be, yeah, but there's always going to be someone that comes along and appreciates it, which is a miracle on its own. For me, one of those people is you. You'll have someone who comes up to you and does the same thing for you, too if you keep sticking out there. Until then, just continue doing what you love and have fun, without having recognition being your only motive. I made my works for myself (to share, of course, but there were things I was so passionate about I felt I HAD to put this out there and let everyone notice how GOOD and FITTING it is) and although having thousands of people love my works, and tens of hundreds of thousands watch 'em together with me was wonderful.. it all feels like a dream now, the number doesn't matter as much for me. If numbers mattered, I'd have given up a long time ago because there's always people who are so much better than you. However, there's something that only you can do and think of.

See? You're already telling me about your unique style and is thinking of what you could do to make it more effective. That approach you're using is something that I'm unfamiliar of doing. Even if we had the same ideas, I wouldn't be able to create the same things you do and that's what makes yours special! Good luck with that, never did I think what I drew would be able to inspire you to create your own, I should work harder myself to make sure I don't get beaten by you so fast XD, You see, I'm a slow improver. I have artist friends who've gone places and make incredible art. But I can still be one too, as long as I keep drawing. I hope you do that too, as well as keep having fun in the way. And please remember about me if you become famous one day, okay? 'v')9

"The animatic of yours is like a knitted blanket, all of the characters go together despite the colour scheme being very different. I was memerized by the coordination - it was like a dance, almost!"< Ah, I really liked this part of your ask, too. The coordination part is something I really tried hard on when I make an animatic! I sit down and listen to music one day and then something hits me. 'Huh? Isn't this that? And that part works with that and can't this be used to convey this?' Very vague expressions but that's actually how it works in my head. The inspirations come very fast, and when that happens, I sit down and write up a memo to see if the whole song really fits along with the stories I know. And when I'm convinced that it works, I start weaving the two different stories together, the lyrics and the story of the material I wish to make a video out of. That process really makes my heart race because yes, like how you've described it, it feels like a dance, or a knit. Like 90% of the animatics I've made happen like this, so I have no idea when I'll get another inspiration. Till then, I just keep having fun with the fandoms I'm in! Having a good understanding of the source material helps. If you know it well, then everything folds together as one. The song and the story does it for you, and you just follow through its flow.

"slowing down the speed to 0.5, so I could see every single frame slowly, and trying to figure out how to add movements that won't be too "noisy". <this part ;v;...hnngh I have no words.. goodness I had NO idea someone would look at my videos with such intense care.. I don't consider my videos to have the most..how do you put it, creative effects out there, a lot of the effects I put in are something that's built in in the base program or something really simple! You'll be able to learn it in a jiffy no problem. I really look up to vids that have these wacky, shiny and fast-paced effects myself.. One thing I think I could do a pretty good job on, on the other hand, would be the pacing! And that has a lot to relate with the songs you're using. Where the instruments come in, the beat, parts where the vocal stresses, I use the songs I really like, so it makes me think oh, a panel could be added there, and there! and let's make this one drawing show up longer than the others! All that. If you understand the materials you're using (the song, the story, your art) you'll be able to coordinate them well within the limits of your abilities. As I said earlier, that's going to be something only you could do, and what's unique. They say creativity isn't about making entirely new stuff, you know! It's more about putting two different things together in a way no one else has. So movies and fanarts are a great way to show yours :)

I've had others who inspired me to create a video. I've seen lots of fanvids and there were amazing ones, (the fact I was in the kagepro fandom when it was still releasing new songs explains a lot, doesn't it? That surely was a huge inspiration) but I think what's given me the final push to start was seeing my artist friend make a short 6 second one on her tumblr a few years ago. There it hit me that I might be able to do it too, so I asked them what program they were using and made mine right away.

I still have it in fact, it's this video, and I made this one too shortly after. And then I realized that although it wouldn't be perfect, making a video itself isn't something too much of a big deal. You make one and that's it! Because I enjoyed it,(I loved the idea of seeing my own drawings move) I made more.. and I won't be so afraid to, either, because I could always go back to making those simple ones if I wished. Make colored and detailed ones if I wish to push myself further. I'm happy I was able to inspire you to make yours. I hope your experience making stuff would be as enjoyable and exciting as mine!

I'll be happy if you can show me your first video, too!// Whether if you do, or if you don't, I will cheer for you~ Thank you so much for telling me all this. I'm honored to know I was able to give you such a positive impact, because you never know what influence you're giving to someone unless they tell you.. and this, IS SO TOUCHING. You're doing all these things because you were able to find the good, you had it in you always! I'm glad I played a part somewhere on the road. 'v')9

Good luck with your videos~ I'll.. keep making mine in the future too! ;v; GOD I found a song for persona but I gotta finish P3R to get a better understanding for this plot once again, I'm going to do an even better job than I ever did, in the long run. So you too, I know you'll keep improving, so take your time and have fun on the way!

[distant--shadow]

1000% agree! As much as i loved the kiss and the cutsie little romance of it all, I immediately missed the pining of it all. There is absolutely zero way they have been able to have any real needed conversation about their relationship in the 2 weeks since it started. The pace of everything going on basically prevented it, and that lack of proper communication, between not only them but the whole group tbh, has led to all this lovely juicy tension and love it. I also absolutely hope that their arc goes through some lovely growth to where they can have some kind of happy ending of sorts. But I'm going to enjoy this juicy juicy fruit while it lasts!

P.s. if you get given any good angsty fic recs, please share!

P.p.s. you art brings me so much joy.

yeah! real talk! (and I'll apologise here for my tendency to wall of text, I have difficulties with getting my thoughts down in writing and really I'm all contradictions and counterpoints)

I'll be sure to reblog/ post anything I read and particularly enjoy, I've always tried to give props to fic writers, I can only imagine with the current state of instantly consumed and passively kudos'd/liked content that they must struggle the most with feeling seen, and yeah, like, a good fic (aware good is mostly personal taste) is so damn transportational, and hoenstly I think it does a lot more for the brain than any thing I could ever draw would.

but on that note, thank you so much ! and it makes me real happy when people stop by and chat or leave a little comment in the tags. I hope everyone always feels welcomed to drop by with a line or a paragraph

[clonedchaos]

Eclipse Chapter #1

Rating: T for Teens due to canon-typical violence

Book Summary: The new cycle had changed everything. It had even changed the realm’s ruler himself. The twisted demon now resembled everything that everyone told him he should be. Only that mind was not his. On the other hand, Bendy didn’t know what to think about the resentful demon lurking at the back of his mind- or himself really. Much less about the strange woman that walked into his life. The Ink Demon saw her as a threat. Bendy saw her as a friend. It seemed there would be no compromise on the current situation. However, there seemed to be a lot more to the demons than one once thought…

Tumblr Version: ~Enjoy!~

Wilson sat huddled in the laboratory in the basement of his manor. Blueprints were strewn across his work desk, several with x’s across them. A canister of ink lie to his right. Its iridescent light illuminated the drab, sepia-toned lab. To this world, the substance was clearly otherworldly.

Wilson picked it up and examined it. “Hmm… A peculiar substance. Something so simple, and yet so fascinating… Soon I will reveal your secrets,” He croaked out, lost in his own thoughts.

The Keeper standing guard at the door behind him merely watched its master’s work in silence, the only sound from them coming from its strangled breathing.

Right. He had already built the Keepers with the properties of this new ink. They had proved time and time again to be an effective shield against the dangers of this untamed realm.

Well, from all but one…

Wilson cast one more look at the blueprints before turning towards the door. “Perhaps we should pay another visit to the Gent Workshop,” He grinned.

The Keeper only nodded in agreement and opened the door. Wilson slowly crept up the stairs to the manor’s main level, his bones creaking in protest. He let out a strangled cough as soon as he opened the door, gaining the attention of the manor’s only other human-like being.

”Oh my, are you all right? May I go grab you some tea from the kitchen?” A masked woman inquired anxiously, starting towards him. She halted in place as she noticed the Keeper come up the stairs behind him.

”I'm quite alright, Betty. No need to fuss,” He waved off before his body was racked with another bout of coughing.

Betty watched, her expression unreadable behind her mask. She shuffled her weight from foot to foot. “Well… Just let me know if you need anything, sir. I’ll be cleaning the foyer.”

”Actually, there is one thing,” Wilson replied after recovering. Betty waited in silence for him to continue.

”Be a dear and watch over the manor while I attend to matters at the Gent Workshop, will you?” He inquired and started past her, not waiting for a response.

”Of course, sir,” Betty replied immediately, retreating as the Keeper floated past.

The walk to the subway felt like ages, but they were able to catch the train to the city. While sitting on the cushioned seats, he was able to gather his thoughts. The audio logs and files he had come across in the archives had revealed numerous secrets of this world. The world he intended to conquer.

If the Ink Demon was created soulless, could there be a reasonable way to defeat him? Could something with a soul be powerful enough? It cannot be impossible. Hmm. A mystery indeed… Wilson thought to himself as the train continued down numerous tunnels.

He had already started drawing up blueprints for potential ideas. Some schematics left behind by Gent also came in handy. They, of course, had their own demon problems back in the day.

What fools they were. I will tame this realm. Do something nobody has accomplished. Imagine the looks on their faces. On my father’s face, He schemed to himself.

His latest victory was still fresh in his mind. They had finally captured the Ink Demon and put him in a secure location. The task had taken far longer than he’d hoped, but after equipping the Keepers with sedatives, it had become a bit more manageable. He had lost a few Keepers in the process, but sometimes that was the price to pay. Besides, he could always build new ones.

Now his only problem was figuring out how to get rid of the Ink Demon for good. He wouldn’t doubt that he’d find a way to escape his holding cell eventually. He’d already rampaged around Wilson’s mansion once before in a failed capture mission, tearing apart the mansion's library. Betty had been downcast for days after that, weeping about "all the knowledge they'd lost".

Hmm… Perhaps a soul would work well. But where would he get one? Certainly it couldn’t be his.

The train lurched to a stop and Wilson clutched the seat to avoid getting flung off. The Keeper merely stood silently beside him, attentive as always.

”Come on. We have work to accomplish,” Wilson ordered and rose to his feet.

The walk to the old Gent Workshop was slow. Wilson noticed movement out of the corner of his eye as they entered Lost City. Peeking out of a store’s front door was the face of a Lost One. Its golden orbs for eyes watched cautiously as they passed. Or, more specifically, watched the Keeper by his side. But they did not approach. Nor did anyone else potentially lurking around the city for that matter.

Upon coming to the workshop entrance, Wilson grabbed the access card from his pocket and slid it into a machine. He picked up the pace as he strode down the halls toward his destination, pausing every now and then as a cough racked his body. Cursed illness. That’s the next thing I need to work on fixing, He grumbled to himself, when finally, they made it to the appropriate room. The Keeper accompanying him moved to stand guard at the entrance.

Faint growling drifted into the hall as Wilson entered a small room with a few desks, separated from the rest of the room by a large glass wall.

A Keeper was working at one of the desks and looked up at his approach, the light from its face nearly blinding him. On Wilson’s way over, there was a loud shriek and a sound or crackling glass.

Wilson glimpsed over and stared into the face of the Ink Demon himself. A spider web of cracks had formed around the spot where his gloved hand had impacted the glass. Tendrils of ink climbed the walls around him, some even spilling into the safe confines of the observation room. The Ink Demon only growled at him with that same eerie smile. Desperate to get to him yet frustrated at the seemingly impossible task.

”Hurts to be powerless, does it not?” Wilson taunted wickedly at the Ink Demon before he turned towards the Keeper and straightened his posture. His sneer disappeared as he ordered, “Report.”

“Termination of the Ink Demon is impossible,” The Keeper hissed out slowly in its strangled voice.

Wilson scowled and held out a hand for the results. The Keeper handed over some papers. He skimmed through the files and listened to taped audio recordings of previous trial attempts. The Keeper wasn’t lying.

So, his fears had been realized. He turned away from the Keeper. The Ink Demon prowled along the length of the glass likes a caged animal. Wilson let his mind wander for alternative ideas. By the amount of scored claw marks on the walls and cracks in the glass, they didn’t have much time left before the demon broke out again.

An idea popped into his mind. Perhaps there was something he had not yet tried…

”Continue with your work here. I need to have a little talk with our Cyclebreakers,” Wilson ordered to the Keeper and headed towards the exit. The Ink Demon gave him one last growl of contempt as he closed the door behind him.

He made it through the various checkpoints that allowed him entry into the Cyclebreaker’s prison and glanced at the rooms; some on the first floor and some on the second.

He decided on heading over to Subject 418’s room and try him first... Against his better judgement. He pulled on a lever and the metal shutters opened to reveal an ink-covered man with suspenders sitting on a chair with his back to him, plucking listlessly at the banjo in his arms.

”Evening, Prophet. I have some questions I would like to ask you,” Wilson cordially announced.

”If it’s questions surrounding my Lord, I will partake in none of it,” The man replied, his tone turning sour. He sat his banjo beside the chair leg and turned to face him, his body slightly shaking as he glowered at him in hatred. “You may have captured me. But my Lord will never stay locked in the confines of your prison! He will break free! He is all powerful!”

Wilson frowned, trying to refrain from rolling his one good eye. He was starting to remember why he initially abandoned this idea in the first place. Well, abandoned talking to this one.

”Certainly you would know something about him to aid me. You are his Prophet, Mr. Lawrence.”

”Which is why I refuse to betray my Lord,” Sammy replied, his fists clenching. “I know of your plans. I do not know the information you are requesting. But I do know that it’s an impossible feat. One that you should cease if you value your life. Or face the Ink Demon’s wrath.” And with that, he turned, picked up his banjo, and began to strum the cords. He began muttering things to himself in irritation.

Wilson groaned and closed the shutters. Of course he would get nowhere with Lawrence. The man was insane, but he wasn’t that stupid. His loyalty to the Ink Demon appeared unbreakable. Well, it was worth a try.

Though, perhaps someone who hated the demon just as much as him would be able to assist.

He carefully climbed the ladder upstairs before he proceeded to open another shutter. A light flickered on and off in the room, briefly illuminating the words “Are you worthy to walk with Angels?” painted in ink across the floorboards.

”Well, well, well,” A silky smooth voice echoed from the shadows. A woman in a black dress stepped into view. The flickering light threw shadows across her half-melted face. “Look who finally decided to visit an Angel!” Her voice pitched up joyfully, as if someone else was speaking entirely. A sneer crossed her lips.

”Well, I could use an Angel’s help right about now,” Wilson replied. “What do you say about helping an old man out?”

Alice crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side, leaning against the wall. “Hmm. Let’s see. You imprisoned me. Treat me like I'm some kind of monster. And don't give me the proper respect an Angel deserves." She listed, counting off on her fingers. "Why would I want to help you?”

”Because if you do, it’ll get rid of someone you despise,” Wilson answered.

Alice’s expression shifted. “Who?”

”An old friend of yours, I’m sure. The Ink Demon.”

Alice’s mouth curved downwards in disgust as her eyes narrowed. “...What do you ask?”

”Do you know anything about how to defeat him? Anything at all? I’ve heard you had a widespread influence over the last cycle. Perhaps you’d know something,” Wilson asked.

Alice frowned and replied, “Unfortunately not.”

Wilson raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

“That freak ruined me! I was perfect! If I had the opportunity to be rid of him, don’t you think I would’ve done it already??” Alice snapped.

Wilson groaned but offered a smile. “Thank you anyways, my dear. Your cooperation was appreciated.” The shutters closed.

One last try. Only one more person to speak with... Henry Stein.

The shutters opened, revealing the worn old man drawing in a sketch pad Wilson had provided him. He didn't so much as glance in his direction.

”Mr. Stein. I have something important I would like to discuss with—,” Wilson started.

”Whatever it is, I’m not interested,” Henry replied firmly.

”Oh, but you should be. This benefits you.”

”Benefits me by giving me my freedom back?” Henry challenged sarcastically, his pencil stopping abruptly. But he still didn’t look Wilson in the eye.

Wilson gave him a cross glower. This was just like what his father would do. He would never take notice of any of his ideas. No matter what Wilson did, he would never amount to compete to his father’s accomplishments. And here Henry was, not even bothering to take him seriously.

Wilson swallowed down his annoyance and paused for a moment to contemplate his next words. “In a sense… I need your help. You defeated the Ink Demon, did you not?”

Henry finally lifted his gaze, showing a perplexed expression as he turned around. “That isn’t quite what happened. There is no defeating him,” He corrected hesitantly.

”Ah, but the End Reel-“

”The End Reel is a tool used to set things back to how they were before,” Henry interrupted as he stood up and came to stand face to face with Wilson. “It is merely meant to rewind the Cycle, not defeat the Ink Demon himself.”

Wilson nodded. “Yes, I understand that much. Your knowledge these past hundred cycles was very useful to my Keepers and I.” He wickedly grinned and Henry fixed him with an exhausted glare. “You are the only one known who has come close to bringing this world to justice. That is what I’m here for. To help this suffering world.”

”Some help you’ve been…” Henry muttered lowly to himself. Before Wilson could give a snappish remark, he continued in his normal, uninterested tone. “Look, whatever plan you’re scheming, I want no part in it. I’ve dealt with the Ink Demon for countless cycles. And he’ll be here for countless more. You cannot get rid of this realm’s ruler, no matter how hard you try. This world is his. And as much as we don’t like it, he’s here to stay. He’s trapped… just as much as we are.”

Trapped… Wilson blinked, the gears turning in his mind. An eerie grin crossed his lips as he stared at the old animator. “… Then perhaps I’ll just have to get creative…”

[kaivasita]

Book 2 update! Here's all the chapters I've got so far. It's almost as long as book 1 already, and I'm not even CLOSE to done yet- but still going at a very good pace. The first draft might be done by the end of this year if I can keep this up (here's hoping!)

The chapters you see with either (E) or (R) by them are chapters in either Ryan or Ellie's perspective (I shouldn't have to explain to you which are which...) I was having trouble making Ellie and Ryan relevant to the thanks to how isolated Albin is for most of the plot, so sometimes when something happens to Albin in his perspective- or he just goes to bed for the night, it'll switch over to one of the subplots involving either Ryan or Ellie as they look for him.

And that's about it!

...

...Huh?

What do you mean what are those three chapters that say "REMOVE ME!"?

Well, I guess there's really no way to hide those, is there? These three chapters are left over from the version of the book 2 I was writing back around winter of last year- the last version before I switched away from google documents. I think the 3rd of these chapters was actually the last writing I did in google documents before I switched, and therefor the last I did during class. This was around the time where I made a massive, final, tonal shift to book 1 to make it just a little bit darker, and before book 2 got a major plot rework.

However, neither of these things are the reason these chapters are going to be removed- they're all part of a flashback sequence for a side character, and it dragged on a bit too long- and I also didn't know how to progress for the 3rd chapter because I was honest to god sick and tired of writing it and just wanted to get back to the actual plot (I can only imagine how a reader would feel...) Not only that, everything that happens in these has been completely retconned. The only reason they're still here really is because I thought I'd be able to salvage some of the writing I did for them for somewhere else, the reason I often keep in chapters like this- but that definitely isn't the case if none of it is canon anymore.

I think this revision I might finally get around to removing them, since their only other purpose is to draw a clear line between where my current writing is and where the dumb outdated version of the plot is. Which- to give you an idea in that older version Albin's siblings somehow find him down in the 9th layer of hell. Which might sound reasonable, until you consider that in that version, Albin ventures outside in his normal clothing... in the current version, he ventures outside in a heated spacesuit. To say it hardly makes sense anymore, especially considering recent plot changes, would be an understatement. Anyways it's 4:30 in the morning I should go to bed.

[sevilemar]

Hello, Hope you're having a good day/night ahead. I'm the anon who sent that ask about the secondaries.

Hello nonny, I am having a good day reading all about Eberron's Fairhaven, painting NPC minis, and drawing train compartment maps in preparation for our DnD session tomorrow.

Firstly, the shc quiz sorts me into snake primary, and badger secondary. I suspect i may have burned and unburned or am currently burnt. i also suspect that i may have adhd.

Thank you for the information, let's see what the community can add to this *cracks knuckles* (and by this I don't only mean me, because if anyone wants to chime in, please feel free. I don't usually do this anymore, and haven't done it much in general).

The thing where the quiz says, 'all has gone to shit what do you do?' i don't know each time i imagine a hypothetical situation - i just know what to do - either by some prior knowledge or a miraculous room/situation reading

I don't actually remember the question, but it has been some years since I last took the test^^. There is a reason why hypotheticals are only useful to a certain extend, though. Real stories, preferably about small every-day stuff, are much better for sorting someone in general.

I also analyse things all the time, like all the time. its kind of a habit. I'm having a conversation? i'm analysing what i'm saying, what your reaction and answers are, and responding based on what you say.

It kind of sounds birdy, but I know a few people who do this, too, and I don't think they are all bird secondary. I do it, and I don't think I am a bird. I'm thinking more of 'learning/trying to improve social interactions', and/or 'having insecurities around social interactions' when I read it, which could happen regardless of secondaries. Could also be burning, as you said.

i'm not good at lying in the moment but if thought about at least once i can lie easily. makes me feel a liiittle icky - but not always & not if its for good reason.

Half a point against lion then, though feeling icky while lying is mostly about primaries.

Snake: I envy this secondary so effing much (at least, by the quiz's description), i want to be them! but also am in awe of how they seem to code switch shift and maintain that? and not grow tired of it? i would love to be able to do this, but i know i'm not capable of holding onto that for long, or at all.

Not feeling capable of doing something, saying it's tiring, can be burned language, where you do not feel at home with any secondarie's methods at all, and therefore they are all tiring. Or it can be one of the other secondaries admiring they do not experience in the same way. Only you can decide what it is, nonny.

But some of the notes of the description the quiz gives like, [maneuverability] i love this word there - i just - what a good word. beautiful word to describe how i sometimes feel i am & want to be.

I lack the context for the word atm, and I do not have the time to look it up. My best guess is that if you are not snake secondary, you might be on your way to acquiring a model because you admire what it represents. Or you are unburning a snake secondary. Again, you tell me, nonny.

[While a Snake secondary might find creative interpretations and presentations of the truth to be comforting and necessary] YES

I agree. Though not while talking to lion secondaries, and other people who value honesty above everything else. It is an interesting experience consciously trying to be in neutral for someone^^

I mostly just want to be this secondary, but i know i can't i'm not quick enough, or smart enough for this, it sounds exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.

OK, first things first. You do not need to be smart to be snake secondary, or quick necessarily. Shocker, I know ;)

Yes, this might be how others see us, or it might not, depending on if you are good at multiplayer or not. But in my experience, snake secs mostly do not see themselves thus. Not necessarily. We might have treasured social memories that go in this direction, but otherwise, we are just average and trying our best, just like everyone else.

Bird: I know i collect, but the quiz just makes it sound way more important than it is and i don't really do it like that - like, its not even recent info - this is info i collected when i was younger (im 20 now)

Hm, I think I do not really know what you mean by collect here. In my understanding, birds like to collect stuff/knowlegde/people/etc. not because they need them right now, not even necessarily because they might need them later, but just because it is fun, or their brain demands it.

For myself, I cannot stand to collect anything that I do not love or use, and 'I might need it later' is a pet peeve of mine. But I am not only a snake sec, I am also a minimalist, and I suspect this is far more of the latter than the former.

Let's say half a point for bird?

I don't think i build tools for specific situations either, i just go in, analyse what's going on, and just know what i can do to work on this

Sounds pretty situational to me.

i do like preparing for situations, a tiny prep a while before would help tons. Throw me in without prior warning, i'll panic a teensy bit and then adapt - by coming up with plans on the fly, but its a little stressful, but i will rise to the occasion.

Hm, maybe bird model? Although the way you say 'coming up with plans on the fly' and 'it's a little stressful' do make me think there's a bit more to the bird. Although the former can just be a phrasing issue, and the latter might be burned talk. Another half point for bird?

[When the only point of learning, preparing, or studying is because you want to? ] This i get so totally. I love learning.

I love learning, too, but only when there is a practical reason for it. I learned about group management while I was leading a group for some time. I learned about shading and colour theory when I started painting minis. I am re-learning music theory because I need it for my guitar practice, etc.

This might be just a me thing, or it might be a difference between snake and bird, I don't know.

Lion: [Lion secondaries are self-defined. Their integrity and their honesty is a deal with themselves, not others. ] This i so totally get.

A point for lion then.

[they act based on what they believe, who they are, and what they think is the right thing to do. ] not always, but yes, i do agree I'm quite direct i've been told, and honest. i can be this. and i don't mind being it - but not always - which makes me think this miight be a model? idk

Might be a model, or might be burning. I have seen this in some unburning lions I know, so could be both. But the way you phrased it ('I don't mind being it') feels more like a model or a performance to me.

I just love how lions get shit done.

Who doesn't?

like yes, go them! i wish i could do that and be less wishy-washy about it. i hesitate a lot.

Man, this reminds me so strongly of a currently unburning lion secondary I know. I give burned lion a big point for this, actually

And finally, Badger: The thought of me being a badger secondary - irritates me, annoys me, i don't want it - though i suspect i might be. i don't like it at all. i don't know why

Might be interesting for you to find out more about why you are so against it. I have the same kind of feelings about bird secondary, and though I have not come to a satisfying conclusion on it, the journey so far was very rewarding.

-My culture is quite a badger-secondary culture

Not just your culture, your family too as you describe later. Maybe it has something to do with your antipathy? ;)

[Badger Secondaries invest themselves into their world with service and support.] uhh no, i'd much rather be alone

I'd say you might be an introvert, which does not mean you couldn't be badger sec. But we count it against badger for the moment.

the quiz keeps giving me badger and i don't relate all that much i do wish it worked that way though - people you know coming to aid, reputation preceding you - the goals.

This definitely sounds like you have bad experiences with groups/communities, with being on the outside of them, etc. It also could be burned badger talk ('I wish it worked that way'). Maybe you'll find a reason for your burning if you get into it more? I wouldn't know, I am not a therapist.

[a Badger wants to show up. They want to work well and fairly. They want to achieve things honestly and stand on solid ground. ] i used to be this a lot? i still am, but its more ehhhhhh don't care, just get things done. i need it done.

Either you were unburned then and are burned now, or you had a model and it is burned now. Either way, this is 100% burned talk.

[They pour labor, time, and love into what they care about and those investments pay themselves back in time. ] No (this totally describes my mum, to an extent my dad, and my paternal grandmother by the way)

So not only is your culture badger sec, your family is, too. No wonder you have issues with this particular secondary, whether it is yours or not.

i also don't mind cutting corners - like the badger way sounds right, but also seems tiring. like, is there no better way. this - i can't- i did this all through most of school, and i'm now done with it.

This also is strong burned talk, either of a model or of your secondary.

How i deal w people: i do match their energy, and respond how i think they'd react well to, but also analysis, and observation.

Sounds fluid to me, with a nice bird model to help improve your interactions. Feels very familiar ;)

Also, if i've interacted with certain people under a specifc role, or they've seen me in a particular way for a long while - i struggle to be any way different with them, like i canNot. help.

Hm, interesting. I don't think it has to do with sorting much, though? At least for neurotypicals, putting people in specific roles and boxes is how we function socially, and fighting that requires constant effort. I think it happens to all of us all the time, and it is not a bad thing as long as you are fine with your assigned roles.

Can even be fun to play with it a little, you know? Shocking people mildly with hinting at other sides of you, and watching how they react.

Low stakes problem solving - cause secondary is the how- in game, unless i figure it out in a short while i go use the cheatsheet, i don't like to stress on just a game.

Sensible ;) And either burned, snake, or bird.

Difficult problem solving: take in info, understand everything. what do i know, how do i feel,what's the situation. if conflict between what needs to be done, and how i feel/what i feel/think is right - come to a compromise, and act. but do - if all thinky stuff fails go with gut.

You know, this rather sounds like lion to me, with the emphasis on acting and doing shit, and going with your gut. Could also be frustrated burned talk, because when nothing feels right, I at least tend to not do anything, and then after a while get frustrated and just do whatever to just do something.

that's all i can think of. Thank you, i hope this is enough for you to help me out. Do feel free to reorder this so its more helpful to you. Have a nice day! And sorry, for the long(er than i even expected) message, and for bothering you.

More burned talk, what with the bothering and all, or just cultural differences. It's not a bother; I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't wanted to crack my knuckles on this, and I appreciate you asking beforehand.

I think you are definitely burned secondary; there is just too much burned talk here for you not to be. It is difficult to say what is under it, but I get slightly liony vibes from it, or (and I am sorry to say it) also badger.

But I really do not know you enough to say if you once had a badger model and it burned because you couldn't live in it anymore and your lion wanted out, or if your badger got burned because it did not present in the right way to fit with the badger secondary expectations your family and culture had for you.

I do not know how to help you find out, or how to help you unburn your secondary. I only know that you sound like you could use a break, and I hope you get to have one. I definitely send some hugs and positive vibes your way.