#i picked it for Dani originally but i really do love seeing all of them interact together it makes me really happy to see

[jamiethebeeart]

Lineart by @ovytia-art which was such a blast to color - I love the entire vibe of all of them hanging out together so much @green-with-envy-phandom-event

[6-atlas-6]

She loves me, she loves me not

Alexis x (gn!)reader

Alexis decided a pour soul's garden needed help, and who's better for the job than the princess herself?

Tags: @dani-ya-dig @cyc-chilla

Alexis was tired. This was all such bullshit. Almost half of the solaire clan was invited to some humans house she didn't even know for some sort of party. Why did she come you may ask? She was forced to. She felt like she was watching paint dry. Sitting in a mildly uncomfortable chair, staring at the wall, and glaring at anyone who even thinks about starting another endless boring conversation.

She needed some air. Alexis made her way to the door leading to the backyard and instantly regretted her decision. She was met with an abundance of colorful plants, and even some vegetables. To anyone else it would be gorgeous. Alexis was not anyone else.

The only thing on her mind were the dead plants scattered across places in the garden. She was frankly appalled. Does this person water their plants? They look like they get less sun than she does. Is that even possible?

She walked back inside, her knack for dramatic entrances causing heads to turn her direction. She stormed up to the random human this house belonged to, saying she needed to speak with them, and then dragging them outside by their hand.

Usually, she wouldn't care about something as simple as a humans garden. I mean, not everyone can be as good at it as she is, but she was bored and this gave her something to do.

She turned to face the human who looked surprisingly unconcerned about this turn of events. "I don't think I've met you yet, who are you?" the human asked.

"Alexis. Alexis Solaire. And also, apparently your fucking savoir." She aggressively pointed in the direction of a wilting plant. The human furrowed their brows in confusion looking from the plant to Alexis' face.

"I am going to help you fix this shit. You are going to have no complaints and do what I tell you to, got it?" Alexis was already on the move before she even finished talking, grabbing a pair of gardening gloves and tossing them at the human.

They looked confused again but ultimately followed her lead. Alexis kneeled down in the grass in front of a dead plant, already way too far gone. She patted a spot in the grass next to her, indicating the human to sit with her.

As soon as they sat down, she handed them a shovel. She explained that it would be best to dig the plant up as it was very much dead and "looked far too ugly". As soon as they picked up the shovel, she explained step by step how they're supposed to do it without damaging anything else.

She was so immersed in her explanation that she wasn't really focusing on anything else. The human however, was focusing on anything but the dead plant.

Alexis, clearly proud of her vast gardening knowledge, had changed her tone completely. The once frustrated princess' voice has now gone soft. The explanation feeling less and less like a lecture and more like a soothing conversation. There was a slight smile on her face. She was probably just happy to be talking about one of the only things she actually liked doing. Well, maybe she also liked showing off. Just a little bit.

The human smiled at her. She paused her gardening ramble, which was definitely going off course from the original topic, staring at their face. Why were they smiling?

She had never gotten to talk about this hobby of hers to anyone. Not anyone that cared. Years of ignoring people and not caring what they had to say had caused people to do the same to her. She never minded. She never really understood the appeal of talking to people for hours on end like most.

Yet for some reason, seeing this human, who had no idea who she even was, was smiling at her. They were smiling because of what she said. It felt good.

For the first time somebody had actually smiled a real smile because of her and it felt fucking amazing.

Alexis realized that she had been staring at this person and immediately looked away, her cold face suddenly feeling hot. She noticed that they had already finished digging up the plant while she was rambling.

"Should I do the other ones too?" The human asked, pointing to the other 2 or 3 dead plants.

Alexis shook her head. She finally had someone who would listen to her. She wanted them to be completely focused on her. She had no idea why.

This was just a normal human who she didn't even know about half an hour ago. A random person who was kind enough to listen to her talk about plants. A normal person she couldn't give less of a shit about.

So how come she was now sitting on the grass when everyone else had long since left, asking this human if it was okay to stay for just an hour longer?

-End-

[rise-my-angel]

Because I love salt, what do you find to be the most annoying lines of so-called evidence or foreshadowing for ships you hate? For me it’s hard to pick just one but Jon saying Sansa looked radiant is up there for me because the idea that Jon had a crush on Sansa in the first book or before is so much worse than the thought of them meeting again and then developing feelings (which I still hate, but it’s just not as bad). It’s super normal for people to think their siblings look nice. Arya’s POV chapters also remark that Sansa is beautiful. Ashford theory is annoying because it was originally about the hound and Sansa (also hate this ship but the fans are a million times more tolerable). I also roll my eyes when fans insist that the bride of fire line foreshadows Dany marrying Jon (and I even LIKE that ship but only in an AU in my head where Lyanna is Jon’s mom but Rhaegar is NOT the father)

"Because I love salt"

You have come to the right place as this is an accurate real life photo of me running this blog:

Thats a good one I hate though, multiple siblings and family members in this series all compliment one another. Even characters with bad relationships compliment each other. In the books, Arya recalls that her father calls her pretty, which only Jon ever also called her. Does that mean Ned had romantic feelings for Arya? Or Lyanna for that matter? No of course not. Thinking someone in terms of beauty is zero indicator of attraction in any way.

Also its even funnier with Jonsas because Sansa herself notes that Arya looks just like Jon, and then on multiple occasions notes that she thinks Arya is ugly. So, its even less compelling.

In the show Tyrion compliments Cersei's beauty all the time and we know there is nothing to it. It's reading into something that isn't there beacuse if they ignore the way beauty is used in this series as a common compliment towards other highborns, then its a really simple box to check on really stock symptoms of attraction. (I also dont really enjoy Sansan but it is funny how they just stay in their circle and mind their business like they somehow are winning based on being not fucking annoying alone).

I'm gonna rapid fire for Jon here because pretty much every single ship he has is backed by the worst evidence known to man.

The idea that Jon never thinks about Sansa because he loves her the most is dumb and not how we know Jon works. He holds back what he says not what he thinks. He thinks of Sansa the least because despite being his sister, she treated him like shit because she looks down on him for being a bastard. Jon cares about her, but not anywhere near how he cares about his other siblings who have clearly shown him love and respect.

The worst of Jon and Arya is a very very old outline that grrm scrapped. Its an outline that wasnt used and most of it isnt canon so it is literally a piece of non evidence for a ship that is disgusting. (Both Jonsa and Jonrya make Jons good older brother behavior towards his sisters look predatory and the shippers are all literally too blind to realize it)

Jon and Dany have literally nothing to back that up, because they are staged as moral oppositions to one another, dont know the other exists, and the idea that the motif of ice and fire will be about the coming together of romance is antithetical to everything grrm has established about the themes of his story. They are so far from being a ship that literally the ONLY thing they have to support it is the show and thats an absolute joke (see my every post that got me blocked by jonerys stans for more detail)

Ygritte is a rapist, so I accept literally zero "evidence" on that ones validity.

I also hate the "the actors have chemistry" argument to support really bad ships, because some actors having chemistry doesnt equal good romance, it equals good on screen dynamics in its own unique way. Like Tywin and Arya in season 2 have GREAT chemistry, but I don't need to explain why shipping that is creepy. Catelyn and Jaime have great chemistry, but it doesn't mean anything was actually there which could've worked.

Like shipping is fine, but so many people just INSIST it is canon or meant to be instead of something fun to think about. I joke ship about Stannis and Davos because its fun but I'm not over here arguing that people who don't ship it are "ignoring the text in front of them deliberately".

Also honestly, its really funny to me that you had to specify you'd only like that ship if they weren't related. Big oof on that one. Jonerys stans hate the idea they couldn't be related because they somehow think Dany being his AUNT isn't at all creepy. Like, Dany is related to Jon the way Jon thinks hes related to his MOTHER. There is no capability of romance or attraction there, that's crazy.

People who are biologically related but don't know it, 99% of the time are in fact, still not accidentally attracted to each other because that's biological survival instinct. Anti inbreeding protocol. But they think because DANY was raised to think her families blood superiority driven incest is fine, that somehow means JON would think its fine. Jonsas have no argument for that they just have to pray desperately that Jon would want to fuck his little sister despite how much it makes him look like a predator.

I'm sorry, I hope you have water on hand to wash down all this goddamn salt I just threw at you all at once.

Really, it isn't individual lines that irk me, its the overall tendencies of these ships to put more emphasis on things that don't even exist to justify something they don't even realize WHY people think it's creepy. I don't hate a lot of ships, just...all pro incest ones, and ones that promote predatory/rapist behaviors. Which is why I don't ship much in this series.

We're probably not meant to ship many people in this series if I in any way understand even a modicum of why grrm writes the lack of romance the way he does.

[social-muffin]

🔥New Khr OC Questions🔥

💞Anyone welcome to participate! 💞

People really enjoyed themselves with the last list of questions I made! So I made an even bigger one!! So much so, I don't really expect anyone to answer all these questions. Just pick and choose whatever you want to answer if it's too much lmao

‼️This is not just for OCs! If you feels you've modified one of the canon characters so much that they're a whole different person now, tell me about them as well please!‼️

I will also tag a bunch of people whomst OCs I really enjoyed and remembered from the last list of questions! There will be some repeat questions here, so you can elaborate if you wanna or just skip those lmao

Tags under the Cut cause I will also give a lil commentary on the OCs I know so far. :3

‼️Also these Questions are mostly spoiler free so don't worry! Only one question asks about something that's introduced after the Varia Arc I think. I put a 🌸 next to that one.‼️

@juudaimes-true-form Amara & Ricardo were both very fun and I like knowing about them! But l Alexandros is a very good vibe I wanna know the him uwu

@einsatzzz Kana, Kurumi & Yui are Hella intriguing! Do pls elaborate on all of them! Particularly Yui has spiked my interest! Did you finish that art of him you were working on?

@heryemily5927 Hanabi is adorable please tell me more if you feel up to it! :D

@kiralushia Nozomi & Cloud! I would like to see both of them for this! But I also wanna know more about Arashi because she gets mentioned often too :3

@acedragontrainer Ayane & Yuki may have been randomly created but they are so gawddang fun! Please give them backstories with the questions here. If you wanna of course ^^

@masterdisastre Xavier is babiest Boi, but what about Dani!? And also pls tell me of any other OC you wanna talk about!! I'll treasure each and every single one of them! :D

@cloudspark You reblogged the old Questions once wondering if you'll find the time and motivation to introduce your OC, so I will tag you here too since there are more questions here. :3

@ciaossn Amalia is best lady pls tell me more even if her true origin story has been tragically lost ;w; I wish to know her as much as possible!

The Basics:

What's their name? Their pronouns? Sexuality? Gender Identity? Their Age and Ethnicity?

What do they look like? Body type? Identifying characteristic? Art or picrew of your oc? (No AI art pls.)

Why did you create this character? Just for fun? Or is there a purpose behind them? Maybe a canon character you created them for? As a friend, love interest, sibling, child, parent, rival, nemesis?

What's the family situation of your OC? If they have family, how about a brief summary of the relationships of their family to the canon characters?

What are their other notable relationships to Canon characters? (Example: Hibari's little brother also happens to be Tsuna's childhood best friend and Gokudera's love interest) If there are none right now, are there any plans for relationships in the future?

Does your Oc have disabilities? Mental illnesses, neurodivergencies, missing limbs, chronic pains, physical limitations, some kind of food sensitivity? Anything that affects their day to day life goes!

Combat Questions:

What are your OC's flames, if they have any? And how do they use their flames? Do they ever use them outside combat?

How do they prefer to fight? Do they know how to fight in a way they dislike or hate? (Example: Hibari prefers hand-to-hand combat and dislikes firearms, but he knows how to shoot someone if he has no choice)

Do they have formal training? How many fighting styles do they know? What weapons can they wield?

What are their strengths? Their weaknesses?

🌸Do they have a flame weapon, or a box weapon/animal? How did they get these weapons? What level ring (best S>A>B>C>D>worst E) do they wield? Can they use their ring efficiently? If no, why not?🌸

Oh no! Your OC is unable to fight! (Too tired, injured, whatever) How do they deal with the enemy now? Do they flee, still try to fight, call for backup, or what do they do?

Philosophical Questions:

Answer this first before reading/thinking further! Would your OC change anything about themselves if they could?

What's their favourite colours? Their favourite season? Their favourite weather? Their favourite animal?

What are their hobbies? What are they passionate about? Is there a passion they had to give up? If so, why?

What kind of people do they dislike? Do they like who they themselves are?

What is their biggest secret? What's the biggest/worst lie they ever told? What lie do they frequently tell themselves?

What's their darkest desire? What's their biggest hope for the future? If they had the money, how would they want to change the world they live in?

If the world ended tomorrow, how would they spend their last day on earth? Who would they want to be with? Their worst fear stands between them and saving the world, would they be able to overcome that fear to save the world?

What would be their civilain dream job? If they had to kill someone innocent to save a friend, would they be able to do it? How long would their choice haunt them? Would they be able to face their friend if they decided to sacrifice them, but things ended up working out?

Your OCs biggest, wildest dreams all just came true! What do they do next? Who do they celebrate with? How do they celebrate? Loud exhilaration or quiet disbelief?

After these questions, I ask again, what would your OC change about themselves if they could? Did the answer change?

Khr Character Questions! [Or 'I am putting the OCs in ✨situations✨']

Vongola:

Sawada Tsunayoshi burst into flames, flew into the sky and took out a missile that was headed towards the area your Oc was in. How do they go about interacting with Tsuna after that?

Gokudera Hayato dragged your OC to an empty classroom to investigate ghosts, but it turns out it was just teenagers. Hayato seems genuinely disheartened, does your Oc want to comfort him?

Sasagawa Ryohei just pulled your Oc away from oncoming traffic! He proceeds to ask them to join the boxing club! How do they go about rejecting him, given that he just saved their life?

Bovino Lambo just send your Oc ten years into the future! What situation did your Oc end up in? What's their reaction to this future?

Yamamoto Takeshi is sitting by himself, holding a baseball and looking oddly melancholic. Your OC does not know what is going on, except that usually Takeshi is a cheerful guy. Do they approach him? What do they say?

Hibari Kyoya comes across your Oc with a bleeding wound at his side. He is most obviously unwell, but also pissed, how does your Oc approach this situation?

Chrome Dokuro knows what your Oc did and it feels like she is judging them for their dirty secrets. How does your Oc try to buy her silence?

Rokudo Mukuro wandered into the dream your Oc had last night! Does he leave with even more trauma, creepily amused, weirdly charmed or thoroughly bored?

Fuuta DeLa Stella fianlly ranked your Oc first in something! What category did he rank them first in? What is your OC's reaction?

I-pin just blew up and then landed gently in the arms of your Oc. How do they react to this literal pipe bomb baby?

Sasagawa Kyoko handed your Oc Valentine's friendship chocolates and thanked them for looking after her brother! This might be a misunderstanding, but these are also the only/first chocolates your Oc was given, so what do they tell her?

Miura Haru made your Oc their dream outfit! But something significant about it is wrong, how does your Oc give critique on that?

Kurokawa Hana just called your Oc a monkey to their face. How ready, if at all, are they to throw hands with this civilain middle/high-school girl?

Arcobaleno:

Fon wants to share spicy curry with your Oc, but the spoon is glowing red hot. Does your Oc risk it?

Reborn shot someone infront of your Oc. Tsuna won't believe them. What will they do now?

Verde wants to study your Oc so he asks if they'd volunteer for science. No money is involved but they do get to hang out with Verde, do they take the offer?

Lal Mirch has taken over the CEDEF and there is a party that your OC somehow ended up invited to! Do they bring Lal a gift? If so, what kinda gift?

Colonnello got drunk from sipping some wine, he is sad, melancholic and heavily armed. How does your Oc handle the situation?

Skull thinks you're really cute and creative! He wants to know how you came up with your Oc? And your favourite scene of your Oc!

Viper just gave your OC a slice of pizza. Will they eat it? Are they aware of the risks? Are there risks?

Varia:

Xanxus meets your Oc at a bar and tells them to get him a drink. What does your Oc do? If they make an order, what would they order for Xanxus?

Belphegor is staring at your OC from a distance and chuckling maniacally. What wardrobe malfunction did he notice on your OC?

Lussuria slings his feather scarf around your Oc and tells them they're a cutie. How does your Oc respond to the sudden flirting and closeness? Do they know Lussuria is powerful as well as queer?

Levi-a-Than just told your Oc that they'd be so pretty if they put a bit more effort into their look. How does your Oc react?

Superbi Squalo yells so loud it's almost bothering your Oc! How do they tell him to quiet down? How long do they last in the every-man-for-himself Varia-style brawl that comes next?

Mammon is wanting to extort your Oc for money. What blackmail material does Mammon have to do so? (What is an embarrassing thing your Oc did that Mammon could reasonably find out about?)

Fran is getting on your OC's nerves, constantly and seemingly very much on purpose. Everyone else is already using that boy as target practice, so does your Oc join in?

Others:

Dino Cavallone compares your OC to Tsuna. Is your Oc insulted by the comparison? What if it was accurate?

Dino's right hand man Romario invites your character out for a drink! What drink do they order to impress, intimidate, or endear themselves to the Cavallone Familia? Or do they reject the invite entirely?

Hibari's right hand man Kusakabe Tetsuya thinks your Oc is too noisy and tells them to shut up if they don't want to get bitten to death. Does your Oc take that as a challenge? Hibari Kyoya does not seem to be nearby in the first place... (He is watching from a nearby roof)

Something got past the safety on your OC's garbage cans and made a massive mess! Ken stands as the main, but not the only suspect. Does your Oc make that accusation? Do they worry they would offend Ken for accusing him of that, just for having more animalistic behaviours?

Chikusa's yoyo just flipped off it's string and bonked your Oc on the head. He acts apologetic, but your Oc has a feeling he did that on purpose. How does your Oc proceed?

The Last Question!!

Please gimme links as to where people can find stories or art about your OCs!

Thank you for reading and answering if you do! :D

[valyrianfreehold]

do you have any thoughts about the objectification of dragons, treating them as mere weapons when they’re still living breathing creatures etc

First and foremost I want to start this with the fact that dragons are not real and I don’t want to get into discourse about things like police dogs. (Police dogs are bad)

In this setting dragons were literally created for the purpose of combat but on the other hand I wouldn’t really call them domesticated you know? We see firsthand in Dany chapters that left to their own devices dragons will eat anything when not kept contained. In FB prior to the creation of the dragon pit dragons were largely left to their own devices and I highly doubt when they weren’t close to their rider they were off indulging in a strictly four legged diet. What is a peasant going to say or do when a family member gets picked off by royal property? The sad story of Hazzea and Drogon is definitely not a unique one.

Left to their own devices dragons will just as happily kill and eat each other as they would any human or sheep. We see that with Sunfyre and the Cannibal. And those two dragons and their actions are giant freaking allegories/metaphors for kingship and power. Like you simply cannot analyze dragons in any way without acknowledging this. Even Barth’s observation of dragons having mutable gender has more meaning than just biological fact.

Dragons ARE weapons. And while we have plenty of examples of riders who don’t use their dragons for combat we never are given any example of a dragon not totally gung-ho for a fight. I think it fits thematically as much as it does logically that dragons love combat because it was what they were created to do.

When it comes to normal wild animals, it’s simply not efficient to be always on the lookout for a chance to fight. When any animal does come to blows, there is a heavily weighted decision to do so from the instigator. Domesticated animals can be bred to be aggressive and get joy from aggression. War horses, for an easy relevant example weren’t made to be docile. But this all sort of circles back to the question of whether dragons are domesticated despite their origin. They can be tamed, sure, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous or unpredictable. Syrax still killed her rider’s son for trying to mount her. But it’s not like dragons don’t show restraint, they’re not off devouring every human they see the minute they’re hungry.

Idk it’s a difficult but interesting question to answer because you can only apply so much objective logic to a fantastical creature created by blood magic for the sole purpose of violence and written as an allegory or metaphor for power. It’s a question that Dany asks herself in some shape or form when pondering legacy and I’m very curious to see what conclusions she’ll draw especially after the killer cliffhanger we’ve been left with for over a decade.

I personally think that dragons in this setting are made to consume and destroy and riding them into battle in of itself was not cruel towards them. We do have examples of dragons that never saw human combat (Dreamfyre and Cannibal come to mind) and Silverwing’s story is an interesting one. She survived the Dance and like Cannibal just faded from history.

Tl;dr If they were suddenly struck by sentience I don’t think they’d raise much objection to being asked if they wanted to fight. Great. We are now entering the Paarthunax dilemma!!! Ifykyk.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Dani's Book-Tracking Post!

I thought I'd try something for myself, tracking some reading goals. This is mostly for me but I'll explain myself in case anybody's interested. (Original Posting Date: 10.4.2023)

I started tracking all my reading in its totality in 2015, which was also the year I graduated from college and got the job I still have today. Before that, obviously I read plenty of books, but I never kept lists or tracked specifically which ones I read and when. I'm a bit obsessed with keeping my life organized, and the idea of tracking books I'd read before 2015, but knowing I'd never possibly remember all of them, really bothered me.

So, everything is accurate from 2015 to the present day, and everything before that isn't tracked anywhere official (I use Goodreads and Storygraph, which should mirror each other exactly, and also have a personal spreadsheet).

As a consequence of that, I have a lot of books in my house that I read in college or prior, stretching all the way back to middle-grade texts, that I know I definitely did read, but don't have tracked anywhere.

With that context in mind, I have four over-arching reading-related goals in my life, and I want to track how I do on those goals in 2024!

Goal 1: Read all the books that I own and have never read. This one's the most straight-forward - read my TBR, books I've purchased and need to get to! The list isn't that big, I've pared down during the pandemic and basically "caught up" with all the books in my house, but then I keep buying more, because buying books is fun...

Goal 2: Continue various series/authors' bodies of work. This is for situations where I'm midway through a series, or have found an author I really love and want to read more of their stuff. I will either buy or get from the library some of these books throughout the year.

Goal 3: Read books for my four book clubs!

High school friends book club

College friends book club

Internet friends book club

Podcast perk book club

Whenever one of my book clubs picks out our next read, that book jumps towards the front of the list! Sometimes I try and suggest a book from Goals 1, 2, or 4 that I already planned to read, and see if one of my book clubs is interested in it too. Or, if one book club picks something, I'll see if another book club also wants to read it, thus doubling up!

Goal 4: Re-read the books that I own but read prior to 2015. This is what I was mentioning at the top of the explanation. In this category are books that I've held onto for a long time, that I collected during my college years, high school years, and, in many cases, even before that. These books range from texts I read in undergrad in the classroom, to middle-grade books I remember loving back in middle school and have held onto.

I started working through these a few years back, so I'm actually down to less than 50 books left. That journey has had me re-reading YA fantasy series like Inkheart, and children's classics like Stuart Little and Holes and The Giver, and re-reading some literary classics that I first read in a classroom setting, such as Fahrenheit 451 and The Scarlet Letter. It's been a joy, and I'm excited to keep on with my re-reads.

~~~

So! Now's the part where I make lists! This is everything on the TBR. Note that the total is at this exact moment 68 books adding up categories 1 & 4 (all the books literally in my house already for me to read). I usually read 75ish books a year! But, important to note, I do not expect that I will read all of these books by this time next year. This is because categories 2 & 3 will end up taking up a lot of those 75ish-books-a-year slots. Book club books take precedent over making my way through my own individual TBR, and then continuing series, new releases, random book recommendations from friends, getting books as gifts... all of these will reliably happen and expand the reading number.

I do have two hopes for the rest of this year and then on to 2024... one, that my Goal 1 list will get a little smaller - I would love to not own more than 15 or so books at any given time that are new and that I haven't read yet. I feel like when I let it creep up over 20 books, I get a little overwhelmed with the TBR. Plus, that means I get to buy a few books at regular intervals throughout the year, instead of carting home a bunch of new stuff at once, and then waiting a really long time to work the pile back down to reasonable levels.

The other hope is that Goal 4 will shrink from its current height of 45 to 30 TOTAL by end of 2024. Goal 4 books are often de-prioritized behind everything else, so paring it down is a slower process.

~~~

GOAL 1 BOOKS: OWNED & NOT READ (15 - 10.31.23)

pre-ordered but arriving soon part of series - not caught up/more to purchase&read

The Penelopiad - Margaret Atwood

I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom

Red Rising - Pierce Brown

The Mighty Nein Origins: Fjord Stone

The Mighty Nein Origins: Mollymauk Tealeaf

The Mighty Nein Origins: Nott the Brave

The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin

Promise of Blood - Brian McClellan

Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson

Edgedancer - Brandon Sanderson

Dawnshard - Brandon Sanderson

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter - Brandon Sanderson

The Sunlit Man - Brandon Sanderson

White Sand Omnibus - Brandon Sanderson

The Frugal Wizard's Handbook for Surviving Medieval England - Brandon Sanderson

The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield

Kindred: Neanderthal Life, Love, Death and Art - Rebecca Sykes

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents - Terry Pratchett

System Collapse - Martha Wells

Glassheart - Kate Alice Marshall

Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - Gabrielle Zevin

Tales from Earthsea - Ursula K. Le Guin

~~~

GOAL 2 BOOKS: CONTINUING SERIES/AUTHORS

Series started and not caught up to current/finished:

Discworld series

Brandon Sanderson Novels (Cosmere & Others, especially Stormlight catch-up)

Red Rising series

Powder Mage series

The Locked Tomb series

Earthsea novels (1 to go!)

The Poppy War

The Machineries of Empire (Ninefox Gambit)

Dresden Files

Chronicles of the Avatar - F.C. Yee (Kyoshi and Yangchen)

General other authors/series to read more of/buy upcoming releases:

NK Jemisin

Diana Gabaldon

Brandon Sanderson

Edward Rutherfurd

Kate Alice Marshall

Philippa Gregory

Kazuo Ishiguro

Hilary Mantel

Ursula K. Le Guin

Critical Role content

Adventure Zone graphic novels

ATLA/LOK comics

The Old Guard comics

Noumena series - Lindsay Ellis

Muderbot Diaries

Nampeshiweisit - Moniquill Blackgoose

~~~

GOAL 3 BOOKS: BOOK CLUBS! (3 - 10.31.23)

The Route of Ice and Salt - José Luis Zárate

The Idiot - Elif Batuman

The Empress of Salt and Fortune - Nghi Vo

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain - Nghi Vo

Babel - R.F. Kuang

Big Swiss - Jen Beagin

~~~

GOAL 4 BOOKS: RE-READ OLD BOOKS (44- 10.31.23)

Peter and the Starcatchers

Peter and the Shadow Thieves

Peter and the Secret of Rundoon

In Cold Blood

The School Story

The Wish List

Walk Two Moons

Bud, Not Buddy

The BFG

Crime and Punishment

Adam Bede

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down

Copenahagen

The Princess Bride

The Blithedale Romance

Olive's Ocean

Our Only May Amelia

The Odyssey

The Valley of Secrets

Faith and the Electric Dogs

Cages

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

The Girl Who Played with Fire

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

The Magician's Nephew

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The Horse and His Boy

Prince Caspian

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Silver Chair

The Last Battle

Gathering Blue

The Host

Beloved - Toni Morrison

Mama Day - Gloria Naylor

The Accursed - Joyce Carol Oates

Ivanhoe - Walter Scott

The Cricket in Times Square

The Grapes of Wrath

The Hobbit

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Flipped

Slaughterhouse-Five

Charlotte's Web

The People in the Trees

I'll try and report back occasionally on how I'm doing getting through the 1st and 4th categories especially!

[lmelodie]

OMG ITS FINALLY DONE NOW I MAY REST THESE WEERY HANDS

A continuation of drawing Dani’s characters from Crystal Springs The Season Sisters are HERE!! 

This took so incredibly long because unlike The Frosts, i didn't have the clearest picture in my head of what the seasons looked like and there was A LOT of ironing out to do on these designs but they're here!!! 

And because i spent so long on the design process under the cut is gonna be a lot of random details and things i did while making them (Cause i am a character design nerd) 

WARNING: It is LONG under the cut. I gots a lot to say

Summer:

I did some preliminary sketches before reading too far into CS and i SCREAMED when i accurately guessed that summer was both black and buff. The only correct call tbh

I was really caught between giving her natural hair (to match Autumn) or the spiky Christmas tree hair i had originally envisioned for her. But i like the shape of the spiky hair too much to let it go

The design to add blue and green motifs were very last minute because she needed something to break up the yellow. 

Originally her arm details started out as mesh sleeves in the preliminaries, then turned into vague markings, then i decided to make them landscape tattoos

Summer doesn't technically have a crown, because i forgot/didn't want to make one lol

Summer i had the least ideas for her outfit so it went through a lot of versions

Spring:

Spring i probably got the most wrong from the canon tbh lol

Her vibes ended up being more Riverfront/freshwater inspired, especially when it came to the hair. long and flowy baby

The HARDEST design i had to make with spring is to decide what dress silhouette i would do. Because I originally wanted her and autumns dresses to both be open slits but mirrored, but the fluffy skirt ended up really selling me. So i took the shape from dress 3, the top half from dress 1, and the flower accents on the sleeves from dress 2

Other than the outfit, spring has also probably changed the least in terms of looks

She gives me Isabella energy from Encanto 

Autumn:

AUTUMN WAS SO FUN TO DO. She's what kept me going throughout this process and she's the one who’s final design i like the best.

I had such a clear image of her in my head, the shortest and chubbiest. Unintentionally very pumpkin like

SPEAKING of pumpkins, her pumpkin sleeves were a total ACCIDENT. COMPLETELY UNPLANNED. i accidentally made them on the final dress option and i fell in love, so for the final design i added little green ribbons to highlight this detail.

I wanted to also give her the leaved collar from dress 2 but i absolutely forgot about until just now when i’m typing this out lol

She has an ever so slight disco vibe to her final design (carried over from dress 2) and i love that for her

Winter:

Winter was nothing too strenuous considering i’ve done outfit studies for her before

BUT THAT DOES’NT MEAN I HAVE’NT PICKED 1 OUTFIT FOR HER YET

Every dress i try i like a little too much and i can see her everything as her main outfit so far, but the final design i did nail down will do just fine lol

I ended up taking the split skirt detail from dress 1 and just combined that with the rest of dress 3

I imagined her to be really ethereal, so i blurred the lines of where her clothes end and her skin begins

The golden necklace is from Blaise :)

I don’t know why, but it was really important to me to make sure that winter has small titties

Idk if anyone has picked up on this ye, but since i designed winter after drawing jack a whole bunch, i accidentally made it so he gets the little hair swoopties in the back from her lol.

All Four:

I imagined them as quadruplets and all of them being the same age 

I originally thought of them as like a choir/quartette so the very first ideas i had for them where trying to make them all as similar as possible

That being said, i still think of them as a choir group akin to The Muses from Hercules and The Fates from the musical Hadestown (Which is how i imagine them to sound/sing). I can see them narrating the story points as its happening in song form.

Any one of the other ideas i had for them can be taken as another outfit they have in their closets :)

All of their skirts are actually indicative of their season. Summer has both of her legs out, Winter has both of hers covered, Fall only has 1 leg out and Spring has only a little of both out. 

[croissantbae]

2/6/23

1. Dani is adjusting to school quite well! Today the director said she was asleep at school and tbh I forgot about nap time because I was actually in the office today but seeing that text I felt immediately relieved. When we went to go pick her up I ran in so i could rush the kids with hugs but i saw jaemin talking to the director with his son and his son thought j was his mom. Which is insane to me. How do you mistake someone else for your MOM??? He legit kept thinking I was his mom so he wanted to walk out w me holding my hand and jaemin said when he got in the car he started crying bc he thought I was leaving without him…….. this kid has some serious facial recognition issues. I’m also like wayyyyy taller than his mom.

I went in to get the girls and Dani just starts rushing to finish her oranges, stuffing them in her face, not getting up until she’s done, lol! And the teacher was like she really loves food. And then Jason was like oh man you guys must have your hands full with her and they were like we love her. It warms my heart. I really appreciate the teachers at Edenhurst.

Also this morning a dad was like are you Nayas mom? My wife wanted to set up a playdate sk she wrote you a note and he passed me a note inside a little package with a packet of gummies. Naya got super excited to eat her gummy and now she’s also excited for her play date with Evan.

I think we really just need to move to Glendale already. We’re there basically every weekend. We’re there every week day for pick up and drop offs. We know we’re going to keep the girls in the Glendale system. Just makes sense. Now if only we could find the right house…

2. We went to dayaes moms for dinner. She’s back from Korea and it was so lovely. We had shabu which was delicious. We got to talk to the original kim sisters lol (dayae and Dasol—> naya and dani). And they had so many snacks on the kitchen island from Korea it felt like I was at a little market stand. I’m so relieved dayaes mom is back and healthy. She def lost weight but she looks good. Also it was so sweet but dayae and dasol play so well w the girls which is kind of surprising haha

3. Hera told me she’s not dilated at all (hope you don’t mind me writing this on here). When will the babt come?? Will the baby be a boy or a girl? How will hera feel about all the guests?? In due time we shall seeeeeeee.

4. The girls seem to be peaking latelt. Reaching new heights of cuteness. The things Dani says. The way she pronounces things. Kills me. So cute. I also feel like maybe this year we can get naya and Dani to sleep together. I can’t believe I can see the light… I know I shouldn’t say it bc I might jinx it but also maybe I won’t. Maybe it reallt is nearing the right time. Also I’m glad we waited to go to Korea. I feel like by then the girls will be better travelers, able to pay attention, listen, and will care about the sights and sounds around them.

[readingrobin]

Hoo, July was a real busy month. Came and went like it was nothing. Still being in the throes of summer reading, I was able to get through a good chunk of reading material, especially some new graphic novels and manga. It seemed to be a bit of a middling month, with titles I really enjoyed, and others that really came up short. Still, this is the most I've been able to reading in a single month in a while.

Total Books Read: 24

Total Pages Read: 6,070

Books Read:

West by Edith Pattou (1.5/5) - When I heard that there was a sequel to East, a book I devoured and treasured in high school, I was excited, but a little surprised. East was a fairly open and shut book, being a wonderfully immersive retelling of East of the Sun, West of the Moon. I wonder if, after 15 years, the author wanted to jump on the "what happens after happily ever after?" train to try and broaden the relationship between Rose and Charles. It, uh....it doesn't go well.

I don't think I've ever read a more unnecessary book. It feels like a retread of the first, especially the third act in particular, as Rose goes off to save Charles from the clutches of the Troll Queen, only now it's their child and for some reason Charles has amnesia. This latter bit was probably the worst aspect of the book for me. Throughout the majority of the story, we don't get the couple we grew to love in East. We don't get to see how their relationship has matured or who they are around each other after three years and a child. It's back to square one, with Charles having as little agency as he had before.

I didn't really care for most of the new characters, except maybe Sib, but only because her involvement gives a little bit more insight into the magic of this world. Estelle was, I have no idea, just a child to tag along and give additional perspective. None of them grew on me like the original cast did. I will say the Morae are a big highlight of the book, with the weaving of the three cloaks scene being the closest this ever comes to feeling like the first book.

If you liked East, I can't say that you should pick this book up as a continuation. At the best of times, which is rare, it does feel like that magical tale of a woman going up against insurmountable odds to save the people she loves, but at the worst, it feels like nothing. 

Angels of Death Vol. 1 by Kudan Naduka (3/5) - Picked this manga up because I had seen some snippets of the anime and was interested to see what exactly the plot line is. It's always difficult to give your thoughts on a manga's first volume since it's pretty much an introduction and set up to the story, but this volume was sufficiently creepy enough to get my attention. I'm interested to see what exactly the outcome to all this will be, whether it's some kind of social experiment thing or something more nihilistic. Either way, you just know it's going to end in tears.

Nicola Traveling Around the Demons' World Vol. 1 by Asaya Miyanaga (3.5/5) - This series has such a charming art style, like something you would see from older, more whimsical children's books. Each chapter focuses on Nicola's wandering with the devil salesman Simon, going from your typical "you find yourself in a tavern" beginnings to staying in a creepy, ghost-infested hotel. Each story has some good laughs, great artwork, and the right amount of fluff to make it an enjoyable read. Can't wait to see more of this world with Nicola!

Crumbs by Danie Stirling (2.5/5) - While this graphic novel has stellar emotional storytelling, it came off as a bit meh to me. I know people who would absolutely adore this story and relate to the characters, but I'm wondering if I read it at a time where I wasn't in the mood for a more romantic plot. I do appreciate the wonderful balancing of Ray and Laurie's journeys, with her struggling with her internship and what she wants to do in life and him striving to become a musician, yet always prioritizing others' needs before his own, needing to always be the "fixer" in a situation. The highs and lows of their relationship are meaningful, yet I never really felt moved by it.

The worldbuilding takes a backseat to the romance and I think it sort of suffers as a result. I never got a good sense of what the Council did. I guess deal with magical goings on? Helping people? Just doing magic stuff? It was all a little unclear. But this is one of those stories where the backdrop is only meant to be just that and nothing more, which is fine, but not really my thing.

Also, some of the panels are incredibly blurry, at least in the print edition I got. I'm not sure if this is simply an issue of enlarging webcomic panels to full blown pages, but it became a little distracting. It's a shame because the art could be really beautiful at times.

Spider-Punk: Battle of the Banned by Cody Ziglar (4/5) - Spiderpunk (Hobie Brown) and his amazing Spider band are just non stop anarchic fun from beginning to end. Hobie brings the classic Spidey snark, heart, and tenacity that makes the character so lovable and seeing characters like Daredevil, Ms. Marvel, Riri Williams, etc. get a punk makeover just makes the comic that much cooler. Sure, I was afraid at the beginning that the story would incorporate a more commercialized, mass consumable depiction of punk beliefs, but I think by the end the story respects those ideals and follows through on them. And come on, who doesn't love a comic where Spiderman kicks the crap out of fascists?

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer (4/5) - This book has such enormous value, whether towards its significance as a way to interweave cultural practices and understandings with scientific study, to reflect on the state of the natural world and how we as a society interact with it, or just to feed our spirit. It's easy to dismiss what we take for granted: plants, animals, resources, especially when many are living in an age of abundance. Kimmerer imparts such knowledge on how to truly appreciate the gifts nature gives us, yet also stresses the need for us to give back in some way.

Her explanation of a reciprocal relationship with nature is such a needed one, especially when most are used to a commodity culture, where things are bought and sold through monetary means without a true understanding of where they come from. It takes action on top of understanding to make up what we get from nature, yet so many are willing to turn to ambivalence.

This was my second time reading this book and it was just as impactful the second time around. Since I had to read it for a class the first time around, I was glad that I could take my time to really read and reflect on Kimmerer's perspective. I think this is a book everyone should try reading if they have a love for nature and conversation and are searching for meaningful ways to cherish the world they live in.

The View from the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman (4.5/5) - Neil Gaiman is insightful as ever in this collection of his essays, addresses, articles, and other nonfiction works from over the years. I like the varied nature of the collected material, with topics like music, comics, reading, interesting people he has met, introductions to books, etc. I will say, the final piece on Terry Pratchett did get me a little misty-eyed and knew from the moment he mentioned his name that I was a goner.

I am glad I chose to pick up this book on audio. I could listen to Neil reading tax forms and still be mesmerized by his natural storyteller's cadence. There were pieces that I had no context for, whether that be the music of Lou Reed or books and authors I had never heard of, but I still found the material so fascinating, because Gaiman has a genuine enthusiasm for each topic. It's like having a teacher that enjoys what they teach, so the class becomes that much more interesting instead of being a total slog.

Gaiman puts his intellect, wit, and heart in everything that he writes, even in the most day to day pieces. He has a mind made for writing.

Bone: The Great Cow Race by Jeff Smith (4/5) - I took a big gap in between reading the first Bone volume and this one, but I had not trouble finding my footing and settling back into this world. The world of Bone is so charming and funny, like a Sunday newspaper comic strip given a bit more plot and page length. I can't remember if I laughed out loud at any time during the first volume, but it did happen in this one once or twice.

All around, great character interactions, lively art style, and the beginnings of a deeper plot at work.

Dinosaur Sanctuary Vol. 1 by Itaru Kinoshita (4/5) - This manga is simply "What if Jurassic Park actually worked" and I love that about it. The informational pieces at the end of each chapter, provided by a dinosaur research consultant, were really accessible and engaging. They're a great way to insert some dinosaur facts and theories into the manga without it feeling too much like a research paper. The dinosaurs are treated like any other wild animal, with respect and care, but still an awareness that they can be dangerous. They have quirks and personalities and are not just mindless monsters that only think about their next meal. They have some great characterization, especially through their expressive designs.

The tone is really laid back, but the first volume gives a few hints of mystery, which makes you want to stick around to see what's next.

A top pick for anyone that had a rampant dinosaur phase as a kid or are still in the throes of it.

Nicola Traveling Around the Demons' World Vol. 2 by Asaya Miyanaga (3.5/5)- The demon's world continues to be an absolute delight, with Nicola's and Simon's dynamic being as sweet as ever. Nicola is so fierce and determined when it comes to helping her friend, always going to great lengths to help him. This appears to rub off on Simon, as he's seen being a little softer towards her in return.

For a world inhabited by demon's, it certainly is a cozy place.

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut (4/5) - There's so much going on here: slews of nihilism, both the usefulness and uselessness of religion, the moral irresponsibility and selfishness of those in power, the dangers of handing scientific progress to those that treat apocalypse-causing objects like toys and bargaining tools. This isn't a book that ends positively, for good reason. Like many sci-fi stories, it serves as a warning, so that we don't actually get to this point.

It's a bit light on plot, but very heavy on its messaging and implications. It's more like Vonnegut had a few ideas and needed some vessels to espouse them, which means that the story and characters may feel a bit empty at times. Still, what he had to say was insightful and thought-provoking. This was my first time reading Vonnegut, so I'm unsure if this approach is his usual style or something he did a little differently.

I'm still deciding on what this books means to me, with all its themes and viewpoints. There's a large case of religion somehow being both necessary as a lens for us to view life, even if it is a religion based on lies, and being entirely useless because of this. Bokonism is more a series of guiding principles, instead of devoting yourself to a single ethereal entity. Life is what you make of it, you decide your own life instead of using it to serve the interests of and sating an ethereal being that may or may not be real. It's a very inward-looking faith and yeah, it seems more appealing than a lot of religions I've come into contact with. Funny that.

There's also a hint of how nationalism can blind people to certain dangers that come from within their own country. I'm reminded of the moment where pictures of various dictators and foreign enemies of the US are being used as targets, with them being described as "every enemy that freedom ever had out there." And yet, there wasn't one American in that group, despite the doomsday object being an American creation, not just ice 9, but also the atomic bomb. What bigger enemy of freedom is there than a death weapon that can decimate literally every living thing? There is the ever enduring American thought that America is the hero, that there is nothing wrong with how the country operates, and to insinuate that there should be change, that America should try to be something else, is decidedly un-American. If the country is seen as perfect, then why should anyone take notice when something truly harmful and nefarious is going on?

Kino's Journey: The Beautiful World Vol. 1 by Keiichi Sigsawa (4/5) - This manga has a marvelous set up that makes it simple to tread any kind of territory, as KIno goes out to explore the world beyond her own land and learn the customs and ways of other people. I love the sense of freedom and reflection the manga carries, as well as the observant, non-judgemental nature of Kino. There are moments of reflection, but it feels like the reader is allowed to come to their own conclusions about the people Kino meets and their ways of life. Kino is merely a vessel in which the audience can view this world, but she still holds a good amount of character.

Children of the Whales Vol. 1 by Abi Umeda (3/5) - This is one of those first volume manga that absolutely leaves you hanging at the end, where you're practically desperate to get to the next volume to get either answers or to see the fallout of the ending. The world of the manga is intriguing, taking place on a moving island amidst a sea of sand, inhabited by people who are able to wield magic powered by their emotions. It's a mystery as to how they got on this island, one that the manga will eventually explore, which is introduced very compellingly.

Witchlight by Jessi Zabarsky (2.5/5) - While the art style is absolutely gorgeous, I felt like the story was a little too jumbled to enjoy. Some plot threads start and stop so abruptly, like "eh, tired of that direction we're going in so let's do a bit of a turn in the middle of the story." At some points it feels like the plot is just sort of going on without doing much, only to make a sudden lurch towards the end. Given some development, I think Lelek and Sanja could have been stronger characters, but they just seem there. Lelek's desire to learn to defend herself with Sanja as her teacher peters out during near the third act of the comic, which almost makes the inciting incident of her kidnapping Sanja somewhat pointless. Some character motivations either come out of nowhere or are so muddled that it's hard to get a sense of what they truly want in the narrative. I wonder if the author was going for a more vague form of storytelling, more abstract, but, in this case, it only led to more confusion than enjoyment.

The Binding by Bridget Collins (4/5) - What would you do if you had the opportunity to forget every bad thing that happened to you? To forget your past misdeeds, or even coerce those you had wronged to give up any memory they have of being mistreated by you? All to be contained in a book, these memories would either sit on the shelves of voyeurs, or be locked away forever. The Binding brings up these sorts of ethical questions, never completely examining them beyond their surface level, but maybe that's meant to be more of the reader's journey than the characters.' Around the halfway mark, the story shifts from being an alternative history/slight dystopian focusing on Emmett's apprenticeship as a binder to a romance story. I didn't really mind this change, as I liked the somewhat vague worldbuilding, and it puts the first half of the book in a completely new context. It also places Emmett in the interesting position of an unreliable narrator that has no idea of his unreliability. 

Though I was satisfied to where the story went, it felt like this book could have done a more coherent job of tying together all its narrative threads. This books contains three parts, one told in Emmett's POV in the present, the second in the past, and the third following the present from another character's POV. With the binding being a more prevalent aspect in the first part, and the romance in the second, it would be natural to tie the two together in that third act, but one clearly has more time devoted to it than the other. It makes the theming somewhat unbalanced. We do get a better idea of how the binding process affects society and certain economic classes, while also getting a bit more of the morality and consequences of it, but not a whole lot more that what we've already been given. 

The romance is at least pretty sweet. I can definitely see the chemistry between the two characters and I do ultimately want them to get together. How much you enjoy this book will depend on which aspect you want more out of the story. It's a dark, emotional, bittersweet read, one that will immediately suck you in with all its moral complexities and mysteries.

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 1 Vol. 1 by Hirohiko Araki (2/5) - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure has been the source for a bunch of meme material and has made quite a comeback with its anime adaptation, so I was interested in checking out the original manga, just to see what it was like. I have to say, I hadn't expected quite that much dark content, but I suppose that came from me not really knowing what JoJo was about other than buff anime men looking very intimidating but goofy at the same time. I'm not exactly a fan of the art style, where muscles appear larger than some characters' heads, but it's definitely a classic 80s style that I think other people would enjoy.

I don't think I'll be continuing with this series, as, while the mystery aspect is interesting, none of the characters really grabbed my attention. Dio is painted as a jerk you love to hate, whereas I just straight up disliked him, and JoJo seems so bland as a main character. I know that the story hops around different generations and time periods, but I don't know if those will fare any better.

Nimona by Nate Stevenson (5/5) - Did a reread right after I watched the movie and seeing them side by side really is an experience. Stevenson's graphic novel might be a little more pessimistic than its movie counterpart, but there is still a small amount of hope within the rage. It feels like a necessary, justified anger towards ignorance, corruption, and those that uphold a skewed status quo. I wish I had more characters like Nimona as a kid, but there's still a great comfort in having her now.

The Lives of Christopher Chant by Diana Wynne Jones (3.5/5) - Sometimes I'm utterly blind-sided by the underlying aspects of colonialism, racism, and xenophobia in 20th century British children's fantasy. I feel like it's unfair to fault Jones' entirely, due to the environment in which she wrote and how our understanding of these elements has grown in the past few decades, but it doesn't make the content easier to digest at times.

It feels so out of place in what is yet another engaging Jones fantasy. I had similar feelings when I read Castle in the Air, so I imagine it's only going to be a reoccurring thing when Jones focuses on any nonwhite civilization or people. Again, a product of its time, but it doesn't exactly make it age well.

That aside, it's a classic fantasy about a boy coming into his power, kicking and screaming all the way. He's a reluctant hero in the most bratty way possible, without even fully realizing how much of a terror he is to other people. There's a bit of humor in when he realizes this and tries to be better, much to the relief of the castle staff. 

This book is great for those that also feel between places most of the time, that find strength in discovering things on their own while also coming from a broken upbringing. While Christopher's innocence and loyalty is turned against him, it never leads him to betray those that matter most to him, only to realize there are better people to ally yourselves with than those who want you for only what you can give them. 

Caraval by Stephanie Garber (3/5) - Revisited this book on audiobook to see if I still wanted to continue with the series. Originally, I felt that Scarlet hasn't lost anything to make any of the stakes brought up in the book worth it. She gets what she wants at no cost, other than some very heightened emotions in the moment that go away once things are resolved in her favor. While I still believe that to be true, it didn't bother me as much upon a second retread.

I still have no idea why the father was so abusive for no reason. It seemed like there should be some explanation of why he's willing to go to such great lengths to harm one sister for the other disobeying. He was just an uninteresting antagonist without much to him. I get that Scarlet and Donatella needed to be in a situation that had to be dire enough to run away completely from, but he was getting to mustache curling cartoon villain levels of wickedry. I fully believe this man is capable of tying someone to some railroad tracks if need be.

I also mentioned the lack of worldbuilding, but I have seen that the world is expanded upon in later books, so maybe I will continue for that reason. Also, I had forgotten how clever Tella was. For a moment, I found her insufferable, but once the end comes through that all changed. Since the sequels focus a bit more on her, that's also a reason to keep going.

I don't think I'll change my rating. Three stars seems a fair rating for a book I found passable, but didn't get immediately swept away with.

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron (4/5) - (Review)

Darkly She Goes by Hubert (3/5) - I really appreciate the dark fantasy feel of this graphic novel. It gave me Snow, Glass, Apples vibes at times, telling of a woman that is more that what she appears, and what lies beneath the surface is something monstrous. The art has a way of overshadowing the story, as I was more swept away by the fantastical, nature landscapes, and the characters really didn't do much for me. It's a standard fantasy story with the standard cast of characters: a disgraced knight, a naive princess, a scheming stepmother, malevolent crones, an inept squire, etc. There's nothing wrong with a tried and true archetype, but it didn't feel like these characters and their journeys were being explored in a captivating or nuanced way. It's definitely dramatic enough to tell a capable story, but perhaps I've been spoiled and wanted something more out of a monster princess narrative.

Begone the Raggedy Witches by Celine Kiernan (3/5) - I'm not a fan of books that immediately thrust their characters into danger before we really know them, so the first third of it seemed like I was looking through all these events through a clouded pane of glass. By the halfway point it became more engrossing as we start to see more of the land beyond the border and Mup's burgeoning magical talent. It felt odd that the story didn't focus a lot around Stella, Mup's mother and the apparent heir to the kingdom across the border, who was taken from her tyrannical mother by her aunt long ago. I think I've been conditioned by the standard fantasy tropes and that's why I felt that way, but it kind of contributed to the uneven feeling of the story. Still, Mup was a great main character, full of heart, kindness, and resolve that any kid would love reading about. Will probably take on the sequel just to see what happens next.

A Kind of Paradise by Amy Rebecca Tan (4/5) - Such a resonating story for librarians and those that have found safe havens in their local libraries. This book does an excellent job of showing young readers the value and importance of libraries within their communities and how they serve people at various levels. Seeing Jamie's growth over the course of the book was so impactful, as she goes from resenting and being embarrassed at having to spend her summer volunteering at the library to finding a new outlook and sense of self because of it. I'm always a sucker for a coming-of-age, summer of reinvention kind of story.

The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen (4/5) - An absolute must read for fans of Megan Whalen Turner's Queen's Thief series. Seriously, I have no idea whether Sage and Gen would either be good friends or constantly be at each other's throats. I have a weakness for protagonists that always seem to try their luck with a bit of snark or cleverness, ultimately getting themselves into trouble that they always somehow know how to get out of. Sage perfectly falls into that category, being the bane of almost everyone around him. And yet, he is a character you can admire for his resourcefulness and ability to think ten steps ahead. His narration immediately comes off as unreliable, though that only makes his every action all the more interesting.

I was surprised to see this book labeled as a young adult, due to the simplistic, yet accessible writing style which gives it a very middle grade sort of vibe. I suppose it's mainly due to Sage being fifteen, but it think it has enough appeal for both age groups. 

Average Rating: 3.5/5

[akisartblog]

And a completely original character! From a universe I dreamed up... literally. 

Name: Daniel "Dani" Daneson

Status: Manifestor

Gender: Genderfluid

Birthday: August 20

Age: 18

Height: 5'7"

Family: Unnamed Mother, Unnamed Father

Manifestations: Childish Wonder - Alice - Grants Shapeshifting powers, non-human Masculine Presentation - Manny - Grants Shapeshifting powers, Human/Masculine Feminine Presentation - Phoebe - Grants Shapeshifting powers, Human/Feminine Anger - Zappy - Control of electricity, ability to discharge electricity, ability to travel through power lines and the like Technological Skills - Point Dexter - Integrating with technology, intuitive sense of code, able to hack things with ease, near able to sink into code mentally

Personality: A bit withdrawn and awkward, mostly quiet in person. They prefer to blend into the background over stand out. They become more talkative if it's over technology or coding. They can be very kind to friends, but they have a hard time making them. Doesn't get a lot of sleep without being forced, and so is often tired.

History:

When they were young, they were rather neglected and didn't really have friends. Their father had ran off before they were born, and their mother really only gave them the necessities to live, but no real attention or love. She was distant and, in the end, obviously didn't want them. From this neglect, a lack of friends, and bullying from what few kids they did know, they ended up becoming a Manifestor, Manifesting Alice, the Manifestation of Childish Wonder, in order to try and preserve their love of the world and the beauty in it. Upon doing so, they were soon discovered by the government and was rather happily given to them by their mother.

While put into the private school ran by the government they ended up manifesting Manny, Phoebe, and Zappy. They were taught how to handle their powers, that the Government knew what was best for them and everyone else, and that the best thing to do is to kill Errant Manifestations and Corrupted Manifestors. By the age of 13 they had also Manifested Point Dexter and was being sent on missions on top of their classes.

It was on one of these missions at the age of 17 that they realized just how blinded they were to the corruption going on around them. They were sent to deal with an Errant Manifestation, a Manifestation with the ability to turn it and others invisible. More of a pest than a threat, but they weren't going to question it. While going to the area it was known to be, they met a young girl. They ended up talking with and bonding with her, a shy girl with almost no friends and often bullied heavily. They left her with her parents who seemed so happy to see her again. And then they went off to kill the Errant Manifestation. While it took a while to find it, thanks to their abilities, once they had it was easy enough to dispose of it. It had no offensive abilities after all. On their way back to town to find a place to stay before heading out, they thought they'd check on the little girl. Only to discover the horrifying truth, the little girl was dead, and the Errant Manifestation they were sent to track down? Was not Errant, it was the little girls's Core Manifestation. After a bit of digging through files they were able to learn that her parents wouldn't send her to go with the government, they wanted to keep her home and let her live a mostly normal life. The government didn't take well to this, and so sent them to kill her through her Manifestation.

Distraught and horrified, they never did go back to check in after their job, with only the meagre supplies they packed for the job and their laptop, they went on the run. They do odd jobs here and there, some hacking, some coding, or just whatever they can pick up. They also take jobs to deal with Corrupted Manifestors, something that they have determined truly does need resolved by killing them as they are far, far to far gone. And they also take jobs to deal with Errant Manifestations, though instead of killing them, they've taken to capturing them. At least till they can either find somewhere they can live on their own or helping someone who isn't their Manifestor, they find their actual Manifestor, or they determine they're truly Errant and to dangerous to leave alive.

Most of their time, though, between jobs is trying to find a way to reveal what the government is doing, and dismantle it.

[ppnuggie]

RESCUE BOTS — fluff

『　chase ,, heatwave ,, boulder ,, blades ,, female human reader 』　

-> playing fnaf w/ the rescue bots

— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

— bc bots playing a horror game is kinda funny tbh ,, requests are open ,, so dont be shy <3 pls just read my rules tho !! but do know scenarios will take more time then headcannons will ,,

chase ::

• he wasn't aware of the game until he had asked you about it ,, curious as to what you were playing.

• he found it quite hard to understand when you explained the lore.

• "why would humans want to put the bodies of their dead children in robots?" he asked ,, head tilted and optics filled with concern.

• still he does let you play and asks a few questions every now and then ,, such as what the minigames after the nights are about and such.

• though he will watch from over your shoulder ,, sometimes jumping at the jumpscared every now and then.

• he'd try to keep this game away from blades ,, knowing that the mech would start having nightmares during his stasis if he were to find out about the game and play it.

• if he had to pick a favorite game of the series ,, it would probably be the second. all the different animatronics and the challenges there are to it are interesting to him ,, the different tactics to use for different characters.

heatwave ::

• he doesn't really give two fucks about what you do ,, as long as he isn't involved. but once cody is ,, he's suddenly all interested.

• what is this 'fa-naff' game you're playing? he cocks an optic at you two as you explain it.

• he grumbles about how its ridiculous ,, though once cody offered him to watch you two play ,, he rolled his optics.

• "i suppose i could spend some time," he huffs out.

• bro screams like a girl as soon as the first jumpscare comes on ,, and plays it off as it was one of his gears that needed a little oil and loosening.

• sometimes he sees the nightmare versions of the characters in his stasis ,, but won't ever tell anyone that ,, he'll just silently suffer whilst he witnesses them when he's recharging.

• his favorite game would probably be the third ,, the minigames are something he enjoys as a break from all the stress of trying to keep springtrap occupied ,, and the other extra jumpscares.

boulder ::

• he knew the lore beforehand ,, because he had asked graham about the same game.

• he asked if he could watch ,, and was quite pleased when you said that he could.

• he takes the time to understand more of the mechanics of the animatronics and not pay attention to how you get jumpscared.

• he's still a little uncomfortable about the fact that the animatronics have dead children souls in them ,, which results in him feeling bad for what happened to them.

• does enjoy the programming behind the games ,, how nicely done the art is and how realistic it looks.

• his favorite game would be the first and original one ,, something about it just appeals to him.

blades ::

• at first ,. it was you who asked blades to join you in playing the game ,, in which he almost accepted until dani had told him it was a horror game.

• he started to freak and went all out with saying no.

• but then he was later called a coward by heatwave ,, and because of that ,, he had to prove that he wasn't a coward ,, so he ended up playing the games with you.

• he does come to like it ,, but not the jumpscare parts or rhe parts where it can stress you out or the 20/20/20/20 mode ,, the only part he likes is the minigames and thats it.

• he does end up loving fnaf security breach though ,, with all the exploration in it and how you can fight back the animatronics and don't have to worry much about power or looking door to door.

• loves loves loves sundrop !! the design on them and the bells for the blind children ,, he found sparkwarming.

[eponymous-rose]

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable. 

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

[lepusrufus]

So I'm not really sure if this has been asked yet but how does the actual plot of RE8 fit into your AU? Is it something you have plans for, like Miranda never kidnaps Rose, sommit like that or nah? Either way I still bloody love all your stuff!

That's a great question and it actually got me thinking on this.

For starters, the events in Double edged scalpel take place quite a bit before the events of the game, around 2010 or so, even earlier. Dani and Anita's "story" happen in a similar timeframe while Laura comes along a couple years later. (I'm not sure if I'll be writing full on fics for them but I will write oneshots and such to expand on their characters/relationships)

Now for the actual game events, the tldr is Miranda isn't an idiot playing stupid games.

In my AU, she has no intention of messing around. She kidnaps Mia, gets in the house (as Mia), waits for a moment when Ethan is distracted and takes Rose. Before anyone manages to catch on or anything. She then takes Rose with her and just keeps her under her careful watch until the time for the ceremony comes. No splitting her up, none of that redundant stuff.

Ethan manages to find his way into the village, but again Miranda is not being a fool and wants him captured and in a damn cell asap to be experimented on later. No Heisenberg's lil death obstacle course, none of that. Ethan just goes to the castle and does some damage thinking Rose is there. The gals, knowing when to pick their battles just tell him that he's wasting his goddamn time and to leave their home so they have time to regroup (nobody dies tho).

Then he makes his way to the Beneviento house and, since Donna deserves to go full fucked up villain, she captures him. She has the power to psychologically destroy someone and that's exactly what she does, rendering him pretty much brain dead, his mouldy body to be studied later.

Also should add in the fact that the cult has a less... "Miranda is purely using us and will get us killed with the first occasion" dynamic. She does want them around and alive. She basically wants to create her own mini empire (for lack of a better word) for her to rule over and the Lords are all part of that. And therefore, Heisenberg for example, is a lot less inclined to betray and kill her. Also also Miranda doesn't just.. straight up has everyone killed. Dunno I feel like it's at least a bit counterproductive killing all your worshippers instead of collecting people from the outside to work as biomass.

Now with Ethan out of the way, back to Miranda, Rose and Mia. Miranda doesn't actually want to use Rose herself as a vessel, but use a tissue sample to make a copy that then can serve as a vessel. It's not out of the goodness of her heart mind you, it's more of a guarantee the if anything goes wrong with the process, the "original" is still there to get more samples from. Mia doesn't want that but she doesn't exactly have a say in this. It does work though and Miranda gets her Eva back yay for her ig. Mia also gets Rose back and Miranda, in an odd act of kindness, promises that if they ever need anything, Mia knows where to find her.

Now, where things get a lil' weird. Should preface this by saying that I'm basing this detail of the AU on my favorite book, Annihilation (from the Southern Reach trilogy). The gist of it is: aliens create an anomalous area enclosed in something akin to a force field where everything alive gets modified on a biological level by the alien organism and it interferes with any technology within.

Now obviously, no aliens here. But we have the Megamycete at the center of it all and Miranda controlling the whole area in which the village (more akin to a small town in my AU) and its surroundings are enclosed. This is how she controls exactly what comes in from outside and what works inside.

And therefore, Chris can't do jack shit. He can't even enter the area let alone blow anything up. Ok moving on.

As stated before, Miranda's offer to Mia still stands, even as she gives her a bitter "fuck you" as she leaves the village with Rose in her arms. However it takes her little to realize that no matter where they go, Rose is basically gonna become a lab rat under supervision 24/7 so she swallows her pride and comes back to Miranda, asking her to let them stay in the village where nobody from te outside can touch them. She obliges, letting her choose any place she'd like to live in and that's how Mia and Rose settle there. (Also the town is a lot more functional here).

Aaand idk maybe Rose and Eva grow up to be friends or something idk I think that'd be cute. They have a whole ass cultish "family" too so that'd make for some interesting shenanigans.

Also, realizing you may want to know more about the maidens: they do partake in anything ceremony related as much as the sisters, complete with matching outfits. By this point in time they are also married and fully part of the Dimitrescu family. Also had gone through the mutation but no spoilers on that. Just going to say that Miranda comes to see them as at the very least good assets to keep around and therefore somewhat important members of the cult.

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

Been wanting to do this one for a long while. Thinking a lot about Fire and Blood because House of the Dragon is coming up, and there are quite a lot of parallels between the Dance of the Dragons and the main ASOIAF series. More below...

The Dance of the Dragons happened, in part, because the legitimacy of Rhaenyra's children was in question. Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey (how fitting, two bastard children named Joffrey) had brown hair instead of the typical silver-blonde hair of Targaryen and Velaryon children, and their father was not Laenor Velaryon, but rather Harwin Strong. Because of this, Rhaenyra's claim to the Iron Throne was contested, since her heirs would be bastards.

Not too dissimilar to the beginning of the War of the Five Kings, where Cersei, the beautiful queen of King Robert, fathered three bastard children in secret with her brother Jaime, all of them with the golden blond hair of the Lannisters. Then when Robert died, Joffrey ascended the throne, and Ned backed Stannis, who was in truth the rightful heir to the throne... we all know how that went of course. Also, while Rhaenyra's Joffrey was the youngest of the three, Cersei's Joffrey was the oldest of the three.

Rhaenyra and Cersei are very strong parallels. Rhaenyra was secretly involved in an affair with a family member (her uncle Daemon) whilst Cersei was involved in a secret affair with her own family member (brother Jaime). The difference, of course, being that Rhaenyra ended up marrying Daemon because Targs do Targ things, and Cersei just kept her affair with Jaime secret because they weren't Targs. In addition, Rhaenyra ended up losing all three of her children, becoming more and more bitter and distraught, becoming prone to paranoia.

Meanwhile, Cersei has thus far only lost Joffrey, but the valonqar prophecy states she will lose all three of her children. Like Rhaenyra, though, after the death of Joffrey, she does become more prone to paranoia and is increasingly bitter. Rhaenyra was eventually fed to Sunfyre by her half-brother Aegon. If Jaime is truly the valonqar, then Cersei might end up being killed by her brother as well. Eventually, Rhaenyra did end up becoming estranged from Daemon, and currently Cersei is estranged from Jaime.

However, a better Dance parallel with Cersei and Jaime is Rhaenyra and Criston Cole. They were lovers, a future queen with a member of the Kingsguard. They later suffered some sort of estrangement (the nature of which is a source of conflict in terms of what is real) that led to Criston eventually siding with the greens over the blacks during the Dance. Criston also was made Hand of the King, while Cersei presses for Jaime to be made Hand, but he refuses the position.

However, Rhaenyra isn't the only Cersei parallel. Alicent Hightower is another. Like Cersei, she supports her eldest son in claiming the throne against its lawful heir, and is the dowager queen of the former king... And she is the daughter of the Hand of the King, who is a member of one of the richest, most powerful families in the kingdoms. However, Rh

But the parallels run even deeper than that. It shocked me to see how far these go. The story of Aegon III and Viserys II as children is not too dissimilar to both the story of Daenerys and Viserys after Robert's Rebellion and some of the Stark children. Like Dany and Viserys, Viserys II ended up spending a lot of time in the Free Cities, specifically Lys, although he was captured in battle and returned as a hostage, whereas Dany and Viserys spent time in Illyrio's mansion as guests. Arya also went to Braavos, a Free City, but that's about where the similarities end so that isn't very intentional, I think.

Nonetheless, both Aegon and Viserys spent the majority of the war separated from each other and only reunited after it ended. Likewise, the Stark children were separated from each other for the majority of the war as well, and seem poised to reunite after the initial War of the Five Kings is over. And speaking of Starks, Aegon III does have a slight parallel with Bran.

As confirmed by George, Bran will be the King of Westeros by the end of the books, and there is a moniker given to him in the show that actually does appear in the books, of Bran the Broken. Meanwhile, at the end of the Dance, Aegon is now the King, and he is known as the Broken King, because of his extreme PTSD and depression from his traumatic experiences during the war.

Doesn't even end there. Now we get into some of, in my opinion, the biggest parallels with the Dance and ASOIAF proper. We all know about R+L=J, and the Dance has not one, but two big nods to this. First is the story told by Mushroom of when Jacaerys visited Winterfell. Supposedly, he fell in love with Cregan's bastard half-sister Sara Snow, and the two secretly wed before the Winterfell heart tree. Regardless of the validity of the story, Cregan and Jace did end up agreeing to what was called the Pact of Ice and Fire, wherein Jace's firstborn daughter would marry Cregan's son Rickon... son of a Targaryen king marrying the daughter of Lord Stark? Hmmm....

However, the other one is a lot more significant, to me anyways, and that would be the relationship between Crown Prince Aemond One-Eye and Alys Rivers. During the Dance, when Aemond took over Harrenhal, he took Alys Rivers as his paramour. The mysterious Alys was said to be a witch who was a bastard of House Strong, a House that has strong ties to the First Men. So, Valyrian crown prince and a First Man woman in love... but don't worry, it gets extremely apparent afterwards.

Aemond impregnates Alys and leaves her in a tower to go fight Daemon, during which Aemond is killed, leaving Alys all alone. Rhaegar impregnates Lyanna and leaves her in a tower to go fight Robert, during which Rhaegar is killed and leaves Alys all alone... then, years later, during winter, the Hand of the King Tyland Lannister tries to get together a force to retake Harrenhal, as it is held by brigands and thieves and broken men, only to find Alys there... with a young child she calls her and Aemond's trueborn son, and the rightful King of Westeros.

If that isn't enough for you, there is a very distinct similarity in the armour of Rhaegar and Aemond. Rhaegar's armour is mentioned to have been;

Seventeen and new to knighthood, Rhaegar Targaryen had worn black plate over golden ringmail when he cantered onto the lists.

And:

The day had been windy when he said farewell to Rhaegar, in the yard of the Red Keep. The prince had donned his night-black armor, with the three-headed dragon picked out in rubies on his breastplate.

Compare this to Aemond's own armour.

Vhagar had come at last, and on her back rode the one-eyed Prince Aemond Targaryen, clad in nightblack armor chased with gold.

It seems clear to me that George is trying to tell us something. I think Aemond and Alys are a sort of dark mirror to Rhaegar and Lyanna. Rhaegar was considered a very noble, chivalrous prince who was well loved by the smallfolk, and Lyanna had a strong sense of Stark justice (as seen in the Knight of the Laughing Tree story). Meanwhile, Aemond was a narcissistic, psychopathic mass murderer who seems almost Ramsay-esque in his demeanour. And Alys seems more power hungry and eventually took over Harrenhal as its witch queen. But the fact they have what Alys claims to be their trueborn child and true king of Westeros does strongly suggest Rhaegar and Lyanna did eventually marry and Jon is their trueborn son, not a bastard.

I hoped I would be done by now, but there is still even more parallels. Cregan Stark and Eddard Stark are parallels and foils. Ned becomes Hand of the King and travels south to uncover who poisoned the previous Hand of the King, before the War of the Five Kings starts. Meanwhile, Cregan travels south and arrives at King's Landing after the Dance was over, then becomes Hand of the King to uncover who poisoned the previous king (Aegon II). However, while Ned was cautious and not really a big player of the game of thrones, Cregan was ambitious and knew what he was doing, even if his actions weren't always the best (attacking Storm's End, Oldtown, and Casterly Rock after the war was essentially over? Not a good idea, Stark).

The Regency of Aegon III in and of itself is a metacommentary to the writing process of ASOIAF. Originally, after GRRM finished ASOS, he decided to do a 5-year gap between that and what was to be ADWD. However, that ended up not working out, so he scrapped it all together. During that time, Tommen would've remained king, and his reign would be under a regency. So thus, Aegon III having a 5-year regency (from 131 to 136 AC) during that time alludes to that.

And then you get to Unwin Peake, my least favourite character in Fire and Blood. He appears to be a combination of Mace Tyrell and Randyll Tarly. Personality wise, he is very much like Randyll. He is a very outspoken misogynist, a very proud man, and a noted warrior wielding a Valyrian steel blade (that he likely stole from Tumbleton since Orphan-Maker was from House Roxton originally). He also changed out Aegon III's master-at-arms to be Gareth Long, who was a very harsh taskmaster, who routinely engaged in abusive tactics with the boys he trained when they didn't meet his expectations, including days without sleep, doused in tubs of ice water, being beat, and having their heads shaved, which is very reminiscent of Randyll's abuse of Sam as a child.

Unwin and Randyll also dealt with lawful punishment in very harsh ways, as seen by Randyll's treatment of those who break the law at Maidenpool, and Unwin's clearing the Red Keep cells during the Feast of Our Father Above. However, Unwin has a lot of similarities with Mace Tyrell as well. Mace is on the small council, and has routinely tried to engage in nepotism by implanting allies and family members of his into positions at the council and at King's Landing, including marrying Margaery to the king, becoming Hand of the King, having Paxter Redwyne be the lord admiral and Randyll Tarly the lord justiciar, try to bring his uncle Garth to become the new master of coin, and Garth's bastard sons to join the gold cloaks, not to mention the Conclave nearly sending his uncle Gormon to become the new Grand Maester (something Mace will surely approve of), Mace having his son Loras join the Kingsguard, and even try to betroth his heir Willas to Myrcella.

Meanwhile, Unwin engaged in much more rampant and unchecked nepotism. He was Hand of the King and Lord Regent, had Ser Gareth as master-at-arms at the Red Keep, since he was master-at-arms at Starpike, while his widowed aunt Clarice Osgrey was put in charge of Queen Jaehaera's household, Lord George Graceford (a member of the Caltrops that Peake himself was involved in) was appointed as the Lord Confessor, and Ser Victor Risley, the other surviving member of the Caltrops, was appointed to the position of the King's Justice.

He even dismissed Septon Eustace and replaced him with Septon Bernard, another relative of his. He also had his nephew Amaury and his bastard half-brother Ser Mervyn Flowers put onto the Kingsguard, while his uncle Gedmund was made the master of ships. Not to mention his attempted marriage between his daughter Myrielle and Aegon III. So basically the Peakes are the Tyrells of their day, trying to take control of the Seven Kingdoms and the Iron Throne.

And that is all that I can remember! I'm sure there is a lot more, but it's striking to see just how many parallels there are between the Dance and ASOIAF itself.

[magalidragon]

Hello! How about 14 in your recent "love in the eyes" universe? Have an amazing day!

Oooh a new universe! 🙌🏻 I tried to make this smutty but it turned out a bit sweet lol. I love these beans! 🥰 Moodboard to come!

14. “Later you will definitely need to tell me where you learned this.”

Love in a pandemic was interesting, to say the least. It was the whole "are you tested" but in a completely different way. Regardless, the answer was "yes" on both accounts, for the both of them, which was how Dany found herself spending the very limited amount of time she had off from twenty-hour shifts at a rural hospital dealing with massive outbreaks and super-spreader events in an area that already had limited healthcare to begin with, hanging out in her extended stay studio not resting up for the next shift, but eagerly awaiting a 'date' of takeout food on rotation of the only three local restaurants that had switched to takeout, and watching movies with one very attractive Westeros Military Captain, who also had limited amounts of time off.

They only had time off three times, where their schedules could align, and honestly she was so exhausted when she finished, she just wanted to sleep for hours. Jon was in the same boat, so-to-speak, until one afternoon her phone rang, after she had just discharged several elderly patients who had come off the tube, their tests negative, and excited to say that they had survived a pandemic, along with all the other chaos that went on Beyond the Wall.

So she was in a really good mood, answering excitedly. "Jon!"

"Do you have plans tonight?"

"Depends, what do you have in mind?" She caught sight of one of the Northern nurses, Kari, who rolled her eyes at her and smirked, knowing full well she was on the phone with 'The Handsome Crow', as the 'wildings' up North referred to Jon's regiment.

"I'm thinking of a place with no masks."

"Oooh, talk dirty to me," she teased.

He laughed. "I'll pick you up at your place. Leave hte dragon behind, aye?"

She mocked his accent back to him, gruff and rolling. "Aye, aye Captain!"

That had been hours ago. Shift ended, she rushed to the studio extended stay, showered, brushed her teeth, quickly shaved her legs, shimmied into the only matching pair of panties and bras she brought with her-- and the panties were also not her comfy cotton briefs she wore under her scrubs but the only truly 'sexy' pair-- a red bikini set-- even if the bra was also cotton and not lacy silk and satin. It would have to do, and honestly, she was probably reading too much into the sudden date that was different.

But no, she did not.

Because while dating in a pandemic was weird-- flirting without even seeing his face had been surreal-- it was still dating and some rules still continued to apply. Like the fact they'd been on three dates, had even fallen asleep on her bed together, but all he'd done was chastely kiss her goodnight when he woke up-- to her disappointment-- it was still three dates in, which meant naked time was now officially on the table.

And she had been itching to see his face that entire five hour flight to find out if the rest of it was as attractive as his soulful gray eyes, his messy curly hair, and the strong body she could see hiding not so much under his drab black fatigues. How right she had been and also how wrong. The moment he pulled off his mask, she felt every nerve ending light off like fireworks, his jaw chiseled, covered in dark scruff, and his lips full and pink, shyly smiling over a set of white teeth that were adorably crooked in the front. It all fit, every bit of him, and she hoped that she had been the same delightful surprise to him too.

Jon picked her up on time-- quite punctual, he was a military man after all-- drove her from the hotel on their first outing and even as she asked him where they were going ,he said it was a surprise and ended up taking her pretty far out to Hardhome, where he surprised her with a dinner at a dockside restaurant, just the two of them, a favor that his friend Tormund had called in for him.

It was wonderful to actually eat out for once, like a proper human being, and then he surprised her further by indicating that maybe if she were so inclined... "Would you...do you want to go back...I got a hotel room," he blurted out.

"You mean not the dingy studio with the brick mattress and scratchy sheets and comforter of unknown origins?" she demanded.

"Um...it's an inn...supposed to be nice."

She'd kissed him immediately, sighing. "Take me there Jon Snow, I beg of you."

They'd sped through the mostly deserted town to the inn, barely got within the door of what she quickly surmised was a quaint log-cabin decor style with flannel sheets and a roaring fireplace, and...yowza.

Their first kiss had been sweet, on their second "date", when he left her to return back to the makeshift barracks he had been staying in near the hospital. They had been nervous about it, shifting on feet as she didn't want him to go quite yet, but he had a curfew. "Need to set an example, I'm the boss," he sighed, clearly annoyed by it.

"Well alright then...talk to you tomorrow?" She asked him hopefully, and he nodded, and then smiled, shifting and moving in towards her, and she grinned, accepting his kiss gently. It had been tentative, both of them a little nervous, and sure-- they were both anticipating getting sick most likely, since they were in and around everyone with the virus-- except she figured she would risk it.

It had begun soft, lips gentle, rather close mouthed. Then it became something else, his hand cupping her head and she grabbed at his shirt, opening her mouth under his, moaning when his tongue prodded for entry and she gave willingly, tasting the beer they’d had and his mint toothpaste and the barest hint of synthetic nicotine. She needed him, groaning and grappling as he stroked his hands over her face. So hot, she thought, not realizing how that felt until he was holding her upright by just her jaw.

Wanting nothing more to invite him back in, she reluctantly had said goodbye, her lips tingling, and his smile dopey when they parted. She waved, watched him leave, and counted down the seconds like a silly schoolgirl with her first crush until she could see him again.

And when she did, they'd kissed some more, like those dumb schoolkids they'd become, barely paying attention to the movie that had been playing, or their dinners growing cold on the table, but it hadn't gone beyond that; they were both exhausted, and to be honest, she wanted to wash her hair and maybe look a litlt enicer than the old college t-shirt and pink flannel pants she had on.

So now, well, now....sigh.

"Later you will definitely need to tell me where you learned that," she panted, staring up at the ceiling, catching her breath, her body shivering from aftershocks. She pressed her palm to her forehead, not at all surprised to find that she wasn't just hot because of her dragonblood, but because she was freaking sweating, like she'd run a marathon.

Beside her, he was in the same pose, laughter rumbling from his chest. "Do you really want to know?"

Since that might mean bringing up the other women who had been on the opposite end of those sinful lips, she shook her head, laughing as well. "Oh fuck no, but gods Jon Snow, who knew you had that talented set of lips underneath your mask? If I'd have known, I'd have jumped you on the plane."

A sly smile pulled over his teeth, those same pouty, now kiss-stung lips flushed from his exertions. "If I recall you did sort of proposition me?"

A tiny blush formed on her cheekbones, not that he noticed, as flushed as she already was. She turned on her side, propping her head on her hand, her other dancing over his smooth chest, where he grabbed it and brought her knuckles to his lips to kiss, their fingers threading together. "Well, I had to test a theory. I am a woman of science."

"What theory?"

"That you were into me." She lowered her lips to brush over his, grinning. It was his eyes; Doreah always told her that love came in the eyes. His had fallen more than once from hers to...other areas. Plus there was the pupil dilation, the intensity there, and the bit of sadness on the edges. It made her desperate to know more. "And turns out, you were."

He smirked, brushing his mouth over hers again, murmuring, "Hard to tell, those pesky masks."

"We figured it out." She settled her head in the crook of his shoulder, his arm draping over hers, knuckles idly running on her upper arm. She closed her eyes, savoring. It had been awhile, she was tingling and sore. It felt wonderful. The good exhaustion that she knew would lead to a good sleep.

Not that she wanted to sleep just yet.

Her finger pulled out of his grasp, tracing his mouth, whispering. "When do you have to be back at the barracks, Jon Snow?"

"Hmm....weekend pass, would you believe it?"

"Coincidentally, I have a day off."

"Whatever shall we do?"

She giggled, nuzzling her nose to his, whispering. "I have a few ideas. Most of which involve that mouth."

He snapped his teeth, wolfish, and pressed his palm to her cheek, pushing to cup her head, her braids tangling around his fingers. She kissed him, smiling so wide their teeth clacked, and devolved her into more giggles, as silly as that schoolgirl he made her feel like she happened to be. It was the happiest she'd been in a long time, that was for sure. He snorted, laughing when she blew a raspberry to his mouth instead of kissing him, and devolved into his own laughter, which she got the impression was quite a rarity with him.

They tusseled a bit, both trying to one-up the other, laughing and giggling, and soon her legs and arms were flying up, brain losing all control over herself as he tickled her and blew raspberries to her belly and chest. "Jon!" she squealed, pushing weakly on his arms. He had her pinned to the bed, and was merciless.

"Never," he replied, in response to her demands for him to stop, and she didn't fight him, both of them kissing again, and this time it wasn't so funny, the kisses becoming deeper, intense. He broke away from her lips and trailed off, her neck arching on the pillow, sighing, and hands falling into his riotous curls again.

She hummed, approving, and shook her head slightly. "Jon?"

"Hmm?"

He tilted his head up to peer at her, eyes black as coal. She traced her finger along his hairline, smiling gently. They'd known each other two weeks, but she was quite certain of how she felt. She nibbled her bottom lip, whispering. "This probably...probably isn't the right time but..." She took a deep breath; just say it Dany. Worst comes to worst, he runs away, and then what? Means it wasn't meant to be. She never took this type of leap, gun shy from previously failed relationships. She closed her eyes, about to speak, when his thumb pressed on her chin, tilting her face to his.

Eyes flickering, she saw he had risen up to lay beside her, intensely focused, and was guiding her face to his, thumb stroking her jaw. "What?" he whispered.

Love comes in the eyes, she thought, and whispered, "I think I love you."

There, she said it. Maybe it was the hormones, the heightened emotions of the time, the idea that tomorrow could be her last, for all she knew. They were working so hard and that was usually all she had, but now there was something bigger.

And to her surprise, he smiled, eyes crinkling, and it was the same look he gave her on the plane, when she first wondered who this cute guy happened to be, and what was his story. He whispered, in return, "I think I love you too."

Dany giggled, accepting his kiss, entwining her arms around his neck, and made a mental note to tell her brothers that the North might not be so bad after all.

Smutty One Liners

[appleflavoredkitkats]

stagnant;

author’s note: been a while! this isn't as long as my other fics, but i wanted to write this because i just like the concept of fundy in las nevadas, okay? and smoke breaks. i love writing smoke breaks. and of course, i will be writing about fundy because i am biased and he deserves better lmao. this is all written before the las nevadas arc ever occurs, so if there are any discrepancies by the time las nevadas finishes, that ain't my fault.

also! all of this is platonic! i view schlatt as fundy's other father figure. for quackity, i don't necessarily view him as 100% manipulative towards fundy and schlatt, but you're free to interpret him in any way you want. and yes, i know the situation about schlatt, and i don't support the actions of the cc, but i do enjoy his dsmp character nonetheless.

DO NOT SEND THIS FIC TO ANY CONTENT CREATOR!! be nice!!

laslty, special thanks to my good friend dany from the dsmpanalysis discord server for beta-ing my fic!

relationships: platonic fundy & schlatt (father-son relationship)

warnings: trauma, smoking, gambling, drinking, alcoholism, substance abuse, self-harm (accidentally burning oneself), slight mentions of fire, parental neglect (from wilbur), unhealthy coping mechanisms, implied depression or mental illness, mental health struggles, addiction, references to past violence, death idealization, underaged gambling, arguments (in the background), and general angst!

word count: 1878

summary: fundy closes his eyes, taps on the quartz again, and leans forward on the metal bars of his balcony. he lets out another puff of smoke as he sinks into the lax atmosphere. he gives into the fantasy, the delusion.

a second pair of footsteps are then heard behind fundy, but even then, fundy doesn’t move from his position. he knows who it is anyway— there are only two or three people who had access to the five-star suites on the last floor, and only one of them frequents his room often.

“you know, smoking’s bad for your health,” schlatt tells him with a half-smirk.

or, it's midnight in las nevadas, and fundy has a smoke break with schlatt. he reflects on the state of the server, and he reflects on himself.

( ao3 link )

a click of a lighter, the tapping of dress shoes against chiseled quartz, the rummaging of pockets to fetch another fresh pack of cigs. his paws work automatically: slicing the plastic cover with his claws, fumbling the top open, and finally selecting a cigarette from the batch, twirling it between his fingers to the sound of muffled, jazzy tunes in the background.

with the smoke in between his sharp fangs, he guides the lighter to the end of the stick. there’s a deep inhale, letting the smoke fizzle into his lungs, latching onto every feeling of remorse, regret, guilt, sadness, pain, hurt, trauma, everything— 

and fundy exhales, all of those icky sensations evaporating into misty smoke.

this cycle of mindless smoking continues as fundy stands idly on his hotel room’s balcony. up ten stories high, fundy looms over almost everything in las nevadas. despite it being midnight, las nevadas’ visitors never relent. from above, staring with droopy eyes, fundy sees all four casinos lit up brighter than a neighbourhood during the holidays. no bulbs malfunction, thankfully; all of them flicker and twinkle as if there was something to celebrate about in this place full of deceit and temporary bliss. the bars, while more mellow, have the calmest of tunes blasting from their jukeboxes. when fundy first started working here, he remembers being fond of upbeat tunes like these, but they’ve quickly grown stale, or maybe fundy’s just grown tone deaf overtime. who knows?

everything about this place grows on fundy like a terrible rash. sometimes, he does enjoy the outgoing crowds and customers, but sometimes, the noise overwhelms him— ear-piercing, annoying, inharmonious. so, he ends up in places like his dishevelled room, unkempt from all the alcohol and exhaustion and the fact that he just doesn’t  want to give a fuck anymore. but as much as his room is reminiscent of the rubble he left in his original base, he at least feels at ease with the sounds he hears from above. there is the same jazz music, the same victorious yelling at jackpots, the same rolling from the slot machines, but it’s in diminuendo. 

it’s a symphony fundy will willingly listen to because he feels like he can separate himself from the chaos present downstairs. when he is with the others, when he serves tequila shots and shuffled decks, he feels like he is at the center of his own friends’ descent but from his own bedroom, he can pretend that he is fine, that everything is fine. he can live in the delusion that his friends are shouting from a well-deserved victory when deep in the back of his head, he knows that they’ve gotten inexplicably attached to machinery that he knows is programmed to bring about their demise.

fundy closes his eyes, taps on the quartz again, and leans forward on the metal bars of his balcony. he lets out another puff of smoke as he sinks into the lax atmosphere. he gives into the fantasy, the delusion.

a second pair of footsteps is then heard behind fundy, but even then, he doesn’t move from his position. he knows who it is anyway— there are only two or three people who had access to the five-star suites on the last floor, and only one of them frequents his room often.

the guy who enters pats his back twice gently as a greeting, settling himself next to fundy. fundy averts his gaze from the saturated lights to look at the goat hybrid. with a newly tailored suit and freshly manicured horns, schlatt has never looked more dapper, but his skin was still heavily scarred and immensely graying. 

“you know, smoking’s bad for your health,” schlatt tells him with a half-smirk. fundy lowers the smoke, coughing a little before raising an incredulous eyebrow at schlatt.

“i learned from the worst,” fundy replies as his free hand shuffles through his pockets, holding out the box of smokes for schlatt to get one for himself. fundy doesn’t need to ask schlatt if he has his own lighter; he somehow always does. he’s been used to his mannerisms ever since a darkened flag with glowing, orange lace loomed over a dying country.

schlatt easily raises the smoke to his chapped lips and lights it easily. he falls into the rhythm of the scenery, slouching against the metal railings as he watches the same fluorescent bulbs fundy had been watching. 

moments like these, no matter how incredibly fucked they are, are the closest fundy can get to tasting peace. his father once described peace as a taste of freedom. it is the image of bright-eyed soldiers under swathes of redwood trees, free from the shackles of tyranny and violence their oppressors have imposed on them.

but fundy knows, as always, that his father is a liar, because at this very moment, fundy connects the concept of peace with the disgusting taste of smoke.

it is a habit he’s picked up from a man he’d once considered perfect. back when the server first hit its grayest of days, sometimes fundy’s claws had itched to strike a match, to spark stones. the scorching blaze igniting was the most colorful thing  he’d had in that wasteland of grey. he’d kept doing it more and more and more, until his own fur and skin burned and he realized that he too is graying like the place he called home. when schlatt had first discovered it, fundy remembers a lot of talking—all kind, kind words that have tarnished his perception on what a caring guardian, or a father, may be—and then, out of the blue, fundy asks for a smoke. while a confused eyebrow quirks, schlatt gives him one to try out, saying that there is a first time for everything, especially since their lives have been as mundane as they possibly can be.

and here fundy is now, able to finish an entire pack in the span of a few days as if it is a part of his diet. 

but if all this substance abuse and addiction and self-sabotage and self-deprecation have become so widespread in the server, so normalized, would one even consider it awful? if everyone is traumatized or hurt, does the concept of trauma even exist in the first place?

“you know, i— don’t take this the wrong way, but i thought that you would be much happier to see all your friends reunited,” schlatt speaks, fingers gesturing to tiny specks on the ground that move in sync with the jazz. fundy hums non-committedly as a reply, not really knowing what to say. 

“well, sucks to be you, i guess. mopey ass,” schlatt jokes with the same half-smirk he uses whenever fundy is notably graying like he did in the past. fundy chuckles at it, at least, but his shoulders droop immediately after. the smallest bouts of happiness and joy make him unbelievably tired nowadays.

fundy attempts to lift his smoke again to his lips, but surprisingly, schlatt interrupts, forcing fundy to lower his arm. fundy stares at him acutely with furrowed brows. “fundy, i—” schlatt begins, and his lighthearted expression dwindles into something much more anxious and apprehensive. schlatt clears his throat and continues, “fundy, kid, i know i’m not the type to get all grossly emotional and whatnot—that’s more of tubbo’s thing—but you have to listen to me when i say that you need to leave.” schlatt grips fundy’s forearm now, firm yet slightly shaking. “kid, you’re not healthy here. it’s— you— this—” schlatt gestures towards the buildings, the lights, the entire shithole that they are stuck in, “this is not somewhere you need to be. you need to leave when you can.”

fundy blinks, and then he blinks once more before his free hand shrugs off schlatt’s grip. he returns to his original position of leaning against the railing, and through the reflection of the cold metal, fundy can see the unpleasant surprise on schlatt’s face transform into something more defeated. a pregnant silence precedes a long, exasperated sigh from schlatt. the edges of fundy’s lips slightly curve downwards.

“well, it would be easier if it weren’t for the fact that i literally have nowhere else to go,” fundy replies monotonously, as if this statement is something he’s rehearsed several times before. “i’ve hit rock bottom, schlatt. i have nothing else to lose,” fundy continues, huffing out a melancholic chuckle. he doesn’t think this situation he’s stuck in is anything comedic, but it sure is amusing how his life has continuously spiralled further and further for the past five years. he’s amused by the fact that he is still very much alive and breathing by this point despite the—fundy looks at his half-finished cigarette, the livid circles under his eyes, his furrowing ears as being exposed to multiple explosions has caused a permanent, high-pitched sound to ring in them sporadically—small, little missteps. 

it’s quiet again as schlatt stares at fundy uncomfortably. “you’re really out here wishing for god to strike you dead in front of a dead man— how very respectful of you,” schlatt replies sarcastically. fundy knows schlatt only wants to lighten up the mood. schlatt has been very persistent in helping fundy find the brighter side of things for a while, but lately, they’ve fallen flat. is schlatt’s eloquence gradually deteriorating, or is it fundy who’s only gotten more numb towards schlatt?

fundy doesn’t know, and both possibilities are undesirable, really, so fundy decides to speak. “i’m sorry,” fundy says, and he doesn’t know if it is for himself or for schlatt. maybe it’s for the both of them.

schlatt’s look softens, and he raises his free palm to grip fundy’s shoulder, thumbing it for comfort. a part of fundy wants to sob, to cry, but he chokes all his tears back with an inhale of smoke. “i’m sorry too,” schlatt murmurs, his voice the softest and the most caring it has ever been. when fundy exhales, he can feel tears prick the corners of his eyes as schlatt continues, “you deserve better.”

fundy hums and his eyes trail downwards to gaze at las nevadas’ visitors once more. he spots ranboo, possibly exhausted judging by his sloppy movements, forcefully pulling a crazed tubbo from a slot machine. fundy remembers that inside, he has seen purpled, foolish, and puffy shout over a simple card, a two of clubs, arguing on whether they should split the fifteen stacks of diamonds or not. he remembers finding sam outside the bar next to the trash bins downing his own personal bottles of alcohol, gripping tightly on a withered rose as he sobs uncontrollably. at the side, he can now see a distressed bad and ant incessantly begging the blackjack booths to accept their territory offers as they’ve lost all their possessions to far too many rounds of roulette wheels and texas hold’ems. he also spots a jovial yet sly quackity skipping through the streets energetically as a stern techno and phil trail behind him, ready to smite anyone who dares terrorize the place. 

and lastly, he stares away from the crowds and returns to gaze at schlatt—tired eyes, frayed hair, drying skin—with a bittersweet smile. fundy replies, “i think we all do.”