#i posted this poster a while back but the site was taken down

[bakerstreethound]

Cure Me

Kinktober: Doctor Kink

Relationship: Dr. Stephen Strange x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ SMUT, oral (fem receiving), doctor kink, praising, Stephen gets kinda soft 

Summary: After a late nap, you wander the Sanctum only to find Stephen occupied behind his desk. To make matters worse, he probably hasn’t moved in hours or taken a break, so you convince him to take a break and eventually go to sleep with you, but not before having a little fun first. 

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT repost or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username)

Word Count: 958

A/N: Special thanks goes out to @frostandflamesfanfic​ who supported the heck out of this fic and listened to my complaints. Anyways, this ended up being kind of soft smut in a way. I have written for Stephen a few times, but I hope I did his character justice and I hope you all enjoy. I will get around to posting the Sherlock temperature play fic sometime in the future but was more inspired to go along with this one. This wasn’t beta read so there may be errors. 

====================================

You wandered in the Sanctum, feeling refreshed after your afternoon nap. The early morning courses you took for university required a lot of brainpower and you were lucky enough to catch a nap after they ended, pushing off the homework for a couple of hours, or the next couple of days if you could get away with it. You make way to the library and Cloaky whooshes by you, settling on your shoulders, its collar brushing against your cheeks to welcome you back to reality.

“Why thank you, I’m happy to be awake, although I will admit I am feeling a little groggy still.” You had hoped you would escape any sort of cold, but classrooms this time of year were rampant for sore throats, coughs, and the flu. You blanch at the possibilities, the only good that came out of it was curling up in Stephen’s four poster while he magicked soup into your room sitting down on the bed next to you to read you a story you had started as he stroked your hair, the deep lull of his voice guiding you to sleep. 

Cloaky whooshes around you again, tugging you in another direction and you follow the guidance, finding yourself stopping in front of the door to Stephen’s office. You sigh in exasperation. “He has been working this whole time hasn’t he? Let me guess he hasn’t taken a break yet.” Huffing you push open the door, greeted with the familiar sight of Stephen, his legs propped up on the desk, hand resting against his head in thought as he flicked his other hand that flipped the pages of the book settled on his thigh. 

You saunter over slowly, nudging his shoulder, Cloaky still draped along your shoulders, nuzzling into you again for encouragement. They knew how stubborn Stephen could get when he was lost in research. “Stephen…hey…”  You stroke a finger along his jaw, the stubble of his beard tickling you, but you didn’t mind. You loved everything about the man before you, even though he frustrated you to no end in many circumstances, including the one before you. Huffing in annoyance, you settle yourself into his lap, pulling his book away and setting it on the desk.

“I was reading that…”

“Ah, so now he speaks,” you smile softly, cupping his face in your hands and he leans into your touch. 

“I was occupied though, but you’re a far more welcome distraction.” 

You smirk, brushing your thumb along his lower lip. “That’s the most honest thing you’ve told me today.” 

“Well you slept through half of it though and I couldn’t come kiss you,” He presses a kiss to your cheek, and you squirm in his lap. 

“Funny you say that ans you’re the only thing I thought of in classes all day, just how good you make me feel, Doctor.” 

His breath catches as you nuzzle his neck, his chest rises and falls more with your touch, your fingers bunching into his tunic. “Need you to cure me, been aching for you all day, only you can make me feel so good…please Steph-” 

His lips are on yours in an instant, hands gripping your hips as best he can, a low growl escaping from him as you squirm and whimper against him, desperately trying not to grind against his growing need.

“Steph-” 

“It’s Doctor,” he growls. Then, you find yourself sprawled along the four-poster bed in nothing but an old, oversized t shirt, Stephen shirtless next to you, a hint of a smirk gracing his lips. Oh, his confidence, the arrogance oozes from every surface of his being, you can’t help but resist and succumb to him. You rest your forehead against his, yelping when his arms wrap around you to trap him against him, your body enveloped by the plush mattress. “Fuck Steph- Doctor, you’re such a tease.” 

His hands wander relentlessly, unbuttoning the shirt he left you in, partially magicking it off of you with a flick of his fingers. His lips continue the conquest of his fingers, latching on to your neck, running his tongue along his handiwork, ensuring there will be bruises there in the morning. Oh, oh when he finally brushes his tongue along your slit, the obscenest moans fall from his lips, you taste so divine and he can’t get enough, your fingers card through his hair roughly, begging and pleading nonsense. “Doctor, fucking…please I swear…be so good for you.” 

“So good for me, you taste heavenly.” 

“Yes Doctor, fuck please…” You beg for the thousandth time. All you want is more of his touch and praises, all of which he is willing to give, and he does, making you feel so high, like you’ve grown a pair of wings. But when you fall from your high, he’s there again, cleaning you up, swallowing savoring every bit of your release he coaxed from you. He holds you close in his arms, kissing your lips gently, a side of him you only got to see, this vulnerability and warmth. 

“I love you…” a broken groan falls from his lips, he brushes back loose strands of his hair from his forehead, popping himself up on his forearm, still halfway on top of you. 

“I love you when you’re so stubborn I have to convince you to sleep by fucking me.” 

He strokes your face lovingly, and you bring his free hand to your lips when he finally settles next to you and spoons you. You intertwine your fingers with his, utterly spent and exhausted, drifting off into the blissful abyss of sleep and dreams. Maybe just maybe you would get lucky in the morning. Both of you have many plans to set in motion, anyways. 

******

@bakerstreethound​ @disneymarina​ @lilythemadqueen​ @starks-hero​ @frostandflamesfanfic​ @classickook​ @feral-for-strange​ @strangelockd​ 

@sobeautifullyobsessed​ @ironstrange1991​ @lucywrites02​ @wint3r-h3art​​​​ I hope y'all don't mind that I tagged you. I've admired your Stephen works from afar 🙈

[feliciafancybottom]

Still no luck with Etsy 😭 😭 😭  My best friend's son has an Etsy store and she said that I can send my listings to her and she'll have him put them in his shop for me. He is saving money for his top surgery, so I can try and promote his art too and hopefully help him get more sales too. He is wildly talented so that won't be difficult. Still, it's not ideal. I'd rather be in control of my own business. I mean, I am appreciative, it is an incredibly kind offer but my friend has so much on her plate and I hate to add to her load. She assures me it's not a problem but I still feel like it's an added stressor that she doesn't need, plus I want to be in control of my own business. I want to be able to know what is being posted and when. I have been looking into it and I have narrowed the reason for my suspension down to two possibilities, one more likely than the other. First and the one that I doubt it the problem it that my Etsy account is in my maiden name and my bank account is still in my married name because I am lazy and never bothered changing it back when I got divorced. I can easily prove that by showing them my divorce certificate if that is the problem, or even change the account name if it is really such a big deal. The more likely problem, I think, is that I was using a VPN because I live in Australia and LOTS of the shows I like don't stream here so I often have to pretend that I live in the UK or US if I want to see them. I was watching Masters of Sex while I was setting up my store and it didn't even occur to me that it would set off alarms with the Etsy bots. Oops. I have an email address that I can write a very apologetic letter to and hope that I get someone sympathetic who will give me another chance but if not... I don't know. Maybe when my son gets home from interstate I could set up a store using his details, but then I have to come up with a new shop name. Do you know how long it took me to think of a name for the one that got suspended? I mean, to think of a name that wasn't already taken? Approximately six thousand years. Fuck. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to throw them my way. I looked into selling elsewhere but there isn't really anywhere that has the same reach as Etsy. I am already at a disadvantage with such a niche market. I mean, I am not opposed to making other themes if people request them but Good Omens and Shennant are my hyperfixations and left to my own devices, that is what I like making. So if I take my weird little GO, DT& MS dolls to a site than no one has heard of, I figure I will never sell anything unless I bec0me really, really amazing at marketing. It's funny because when I was at Uni, I was always the one that got put in charge of all the bloody marketing projects and I hated it. And I still hate it. I'm terrible at it. All because I made one decent poster once. God, I whine a lot. I did sell a couple of old paintings this week so that was good. Like the grown up I totally am, instead of using the money to pay the electricity bill that is due next week I bought David Tennant boots. This time next week I may not have a light source or heating (I live in Queensland, we don't need heating) but I will have cool purple Docs. I'm just joking. I will pay the electricity bill. I just probably should have been responsible and done that first but, whatever. I am immature and it cheered me up for like five minutes.

[entamesubs]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Go Rush!! Episode 5 Sub Release

Torrent | Google Drive | Youtube (NEW!)

Support us on ko-fi

Please make sure to read the FAQ if you have any questions.

Below are extended translation notes, so spoilers ahead.

We have just started uploading onto Youtube as well! Since stuff hasn’t been taken down yet, please support our releases by watching on YT rather than other third-party sites.

Thank you!

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Velgear Riva / Vi bal du

This was explained by a TL note in-episode, but I’ll repeat it here for posterity. Since I am more confident now that Yuudias is just speaking Velgearian, we will now be translating his dialogue a bit more literally, just writing out the sounds as we hear them and avoid making them proper English words.

This also means I’ve removed the capital letters on “Vi bal du”, since I’m taking it to be an actual sentence in Velgearian rather than an assortment of... something? I’m not quite sure why I placed the capitals in the first place.

Anyway, “War To Zen! Maniac You Die!” is also Velgearian and, in the future, will be transliterated as “Waa tu zen! Meiniak yu dai!” so people don’t get the wrong idea about what he’s saying.

“Kawai Tell.” “You can’t tell?!”

“I’m Kawai Tell, and I’m parched.”

Some more Japanese wordplay that had to be changed a little bit to fit into English.

乾い (kawai) means “dry” or “parched”, while てる (teru) is a special verb ending that makes it present tense. Therefore, Kawai Tell is quite literally “I’m parched” in Japanese. That is his name. I expect the dub to name him something like Drei Theosty or something.

Whenever Kawai Tell says “kawai terunda”, it is left ambiguous as to whether or not he’s saying his own name or just that he’s parched. It’s like Omaeno Ushiro all over again, but played much more straight.

The pickles/cucumbers

In Japanese folklore, kappas love cucumbers, and a way to get one to not eat you is to throw a cucumber engraved with your name at it.

This isn’t the weirdest one by a mile.

"A kappa washed away by the river” “Even monkeys fall from trees”

Kawai Tell is referencing two well-known Japanese idioms. Kappas in Japanese folklore are masters of swimming and living in water. The idiom “even monkeys fall from trees” or “a kappa washed away by the river” means that even experts can make mistakes and nobody is perfect.

For his summon chant, Kawai Tell is saying, more literally, that kappas aren’t being washed away — they’re just drifting and coasting along!

Earthdamar / “shirikodama”

Okay, this is the weird one.

With more context from this episode, I am led to believe that the Earthdamar is referencing the “shirikodama”, which, in Japanese folklore, is a little white ball inside your anus that kappas love to take. It’s said to contain your soul.

The origin of the myth is probably due to bodies that have drowned in rivers or streams coming back with an open or extended anus as a result of undergoing post-mortem underwater.

Not saying that the Earthdamar is that exactly, but... with how Yuuhi is positioned after being beaten by Kawai Tell and how he needs to put the Earthdamar “back in his body”.... it’s a good guess as any.

--------------

I moreso just wanted to share a bunch of weird kappa facts. Enjoy!

[priconstella]

New SCVI information write up

This wasn't meant to be official and then it got really long and I started pulling from sources so it's an information post now!

This is only for scarlet and violet and for the parts relating to it.

New Paradoxes

Paradox suicune looks vaguely velociraptor and Virizon looks like… Virizon. Like everyone else I assumed their paradox forms would be a combination of their trio, so I wonder if this is simply all we're getting or if the others will get their own paradox forms.

The fine print is:

NOTES: You can catch only one Walking Wake and one Iron Leaves per save data during this event. You will still be able to participate in all Tera Raid Battles during the event penod and receive other rewards even after catching both Pokémon Walking Wake and Iron Leaves will appear again in future events: To encounter Pokemon featured in Tera Raid Battle events, you need to download the latest update data for your game and receive the latest Poke Portal News.

So these are likely (but not guaranteed) to be seven star raids. Raids start soon after this, but no information on how long it lasts for. And interesting that it will return in the future there in the fine print? Does that mean a rerun like they did a weekend for charizard, break, and bring back charizard, or just bring it back in the future months from now?

Pokémon Go x Scarlet Violet

You can send postcards to scarlet and violet starting… soon? Today soon or this week soon? A postcard will get you a vivillion in SCVI with it's pattern based on where the postcard was from, and a Gimmighoul roaming from in GO.

HOME support

Home support starts… "early this year." That's all? Lots of vague timestamps this year.

Scarlet Violet DLC 1

“In The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero, fans will take a trip to the land of Kitakami, where they will meet new Pokémon and interesting characters. I sincerely hope that Trainers who embark on this new journey find the same excitement and joy they experienced when they encountered their first Pokémon.”

The first thing my mind went to from seeing these, was new game, new starters? And then I dismissed it because we only just got into gen 9. But these guys are definitely significant, right?

Sign board here (that I can't include a picture of for post limit reasons)

Note to my future self to translate this. But we have a trainer on the right side with 3 unknown pokémon, chasing down the Teal Mask pokémon.

And poster! The 3 starter-like pokémon have returned in their full evolutions, a bear, a bird, and something else I can't yet be sure of its design inspiration!

That's all from the trailer, but the official sites have more:

Step out of the Paldea region as you take a school trip to the land of Kitakami. There, you’ll meet new people and Pokémon while unraveling the mysteries behind the area’s folk tales.

In Part 1: The Teal Mask, a school trip will take players to the land of Kitakami, where they will be joining an outdoors study program held jointly between their academy and another school.

[…] players will be chosen to take part in a school trip that is held each year in collaboration with another school. They’ll be taken to the land of Kitakami, where a great mountain towers over the land and the people live at its base. It is a place of tranquil natural expanses, featuring rice paddies and apple orchards. The trip seems to coincide with a festival regularly held in the village in Kitakami during this season, so the village is bustling with various street vendors and stalls. Players will meet new friends and Pokémon as they unravel the mysteries behind the folktales that have been passed down in this land.

Players will also encounter new Legendary Pokémon—Ogerpon

[…] three Pokémon named Okidogi, Munkidori, and Fezandipiti also appear. They are beloved by the people of the village as heroes that protected the land of Kitakami in the past, and stone statues were made in their likeness to express the people’s gratitude.”

In order: Okidogi, Munkidori, and Fezandipiti

I am honestly assuming these are these areas starters, and we'll get to choose one at the beginning of the DLC. Isle of armor tried something similar, what with letting you choose between Squirtle or Bulbasaur once you joined the dojo. They're even color coded enough to assume Okidogi is grass, Munkidori is water, and Fezandipiti is fire.

Releases in fall 2023.

DLC 2

(I honestly thought we were getting a new game at this point and was confused on how they'd connect with seemed to be a rural game to this tech island)

But this whole setting reads to me as a advanced training school for those particularly special battlers.

And four (4!) new rivals. Nice.

Official site says: (X)

The story continues as you become an exchange student and visit Blueberry Academy. Most of this unusual school is located under the ocean, and its curriculum emphasizes Pokémon battling.

In Part 2: The Indigo Disk, players will be traveling to Blueberry Academy, a sister school of their own academy, as exchange students.

[Players will also encounter new Legendary Pokémon-] Terapagos

Releasing winter 2023.

…

And that's it, strangely enough. Details on part one, almost nothing for part 2. The only other details are blanket statements the the entire dlc as a whole, being-

"​In Part 1: The Teal Mask and Part 2: The Indigo Disk, players will be able to encounter over 230 familiar Pokémon that have been found living in other regions but had not appeared in Pokémon Scarlet and Pokémon Violet. This includes Pokémon that players will be able to bring to their games via Pokémon HOME or those received in trades."

The only inconsistency I could find is that the official press release site note that part two releases "at a later date." while all out official sites have winter 2023. Probably winter, but might be there to give them some buffer time just in case they need to move it back.

But I believe that's all for this one! Sorry for the thick post and strange formatting, I went to write up a trailer analysis and the official press info dropped so I decided to combine them: that's why it starts off so informal and veers into reciting text from other sources, this was just meant to be a "oh they're announcing what now?"

[anolyso]

Anolyso Watches Spring Anime 2022 + extras

oh uh I guess I let the entire Spring Anime 2022 season fly by without a full proper recap. Also barely recovering from Co-Vid but apparently I still have a mild cough so I have to take at least Monday off to check if I'm clean enough to be on site again oops. Anyways of the anime I DID pick this season:

Kaguya-sama Love is War S3 Spy x Family Healing Girl Parapri Koumei Shokei Shoujo Virgin Road Madoka Magica Gaiden Magia Record (All Seasons) Bonus: Amphibia Seasons 1 & 2 Heike Monogatari Kamen Rider OOOs (I'll do a seperate post just for that)

-Kaguya-Sama: Love is War S3. Blatantly one of two mainstream poster children for the entire season, Kaguya is...actually fundamentally simple in being a Rom-Com but taking the latter half of that and pumping it to the absolute brim with off-the-wall energy, sakuga and just blatant but surprising references to as minute a visual joke could be; like the absolute finale just straight up has a visual call-back to Char’s infamous bazooka headshot, and it’s so good.

Not too much I CAN say, other than like it IS it’s style for it’s jokes...yet some part of me yearns for a more down-to-earth shojo romance, if not for the effects, than because I want more actual relationship chemistry that isn’t like fundamentally built entirely on the joke “will-they-won’t-they” taken to 11, although I guess I can wait for Season 4 to see how they actually behave in a relationship...tho I’m not really up to catching up to the manga, at least not on high priority

-Spy x Family. On the inverse, it’s the WACKY WILD PERSONAS trying instead to act as low-key and normal as a family as possible, not just as the second big name show but also as a perfect counter point, low-stake on uh x-Comedy (replace romance with wholesomeness), but with more directorial focus on the Former instead of the comedy (it’s still there, but you can tell the jokes serve the characters more than vice-versa with Kaguya).

Of course it still has S1 growing pains like Kaguya’s early S1 did, both in taking time to build it’s cast, but also while Loid and Anya get enough mileage of Spy antics and Telepath school antics...Yor sadly winds up the weakest since they just CAN’T let the wife just straight up kill people in the streets...or like anywhere beyond her intro.

A shame since that kinda shoves her just into the “stronk wife” of ditzy but with plenty of muscle (even if none of it shows in her model) but like...it also means she doesn’t really get her own episodes/incidents to herself and has to play a side-character to the other two’s antics. Real shame about that too

On the otherside, Anya’s wholesomeness IS the beating heart of the show and the animators really know it, with plenty of focus on all her funni/smug faces but also as the major anchor to being a mis-interpretive klutzy kid who keeps managing to hold the family together by sheer heart, THIS is the key focus of Spy x Family and man does it hit where it counts.

-Healer Girl: Ok but my ACTUAL pick of the season is Healer Girl, and it actually well lives up to it’s name of being an Iyashikei (healing) anime. Even as a Symphogear, Macross and whole host of other idol shows about, only this anime actually felt as light-hearted and brightly low-stakes as a classical broadway Musical as this show.

It’s just...so playful about how the girls will just break out in song as much for low-stake sport competition as it is for literally building a healing field visual metaphor for easing an ER patient’s pain.

If anything, none of the songs feel really out of place (tho it can also mean if you don’t like bright and cheery songs about fun times, it can blend a couple together) but more than that, it just is a show that goes down super smooth and feels like a pre-Sailor Moon non-action magical girl that just has the girls helping out their local neighborhood, tho they just straight up name them Magical Girls and their teacher a Mahoutsukai [witch] it’s the sorta thing that even for the people who don’t go down the precure kids show vibes, there’s still something out there that’s still super wholesome keeping the genre’s vibes alive for older audiences.

Ya Boy Kongming: oof, it’s like sobering up mid-party while waiting for the one good act, but seeing them being front-loaded with a tons of bands you just don’t care about.

Kongming’s big gimmick is that Zhuge liang aka Kongming getting reverse-iskai’d/re-incarnated into modern day Shibuya would get to do Roadie Stratagems for a rookie singing Eiko. Problem is...beyond the premise, it’s just really really basic in it’s execution.

What I mean is that as a perfect parallel to both Kaguya and Spy x Fam which have it’s gimmick just pump it’s major situations and shenanigans full of over-the-top jokes, extreme wackyness and wildness...it just feels super tame, in look and subject matter...which is kinda damning of the Shibuya party scene when I just can’t care about “Rap God” Kabeitaisen; maybe following the lyrics in their original japanese would help more, tho I wonder if it’s more katakana or just feels kinda...too g-rated?.

This bleeds into a lot of the cast and most sadly Eiko herself, since I like the singer’s songs...Eiko just doesn’t seem more complex than a cheery naiive party girl...and even more so with how “basic” the main cast is, everyone winds up needing Kongming’s charisma to carry the show’s energy AND the plots, which just doesn’t feel right thematically if not so much as damning how one-dimensional Shibuya’s community would be showcased

And on the actual “machinations” side of things isn’t much better since while you’re waiting for some major ancient Chinese stratagem to blow your mind...it feels like basic roadie logistics, and the most a rise I got out of it was the first and last arc, first by novelty of not knowing, and the last by having more heart to it....but also like, it’s just not as complex as most of the scheming of even Kaguya of the same season so it feels so much like the show’s premise bit off more than it could chew. It’s a shame to say but for many who love the energy of it, the party’s only fun until you sober up, then you realize the DJ left the playist on repeat and none of the smoke and fog machines make up for a pretty shallow character/plot sorta deal.

Shokei Shoujo Virgin road (The Executioner and her path): So on the seemingly un-related but very much opposite field, the “We’ll save Isekai...with yuri...and murder” show is arguably running on a similar spectrum, of “plotting/scheming > big reveal” but unlike Kongming, it majorly feels like Shokei always hits it’s landing of major twists...it just doesn’t have any idea how to get there without dragging it’s feet.

I won’t spoil hard, but with just enough time for 2 arcs in a season, you can sorta see that Shokei can introduce a big conspiratorial plot and sprinkle in action and cute yuri stuff...but can’t figure out how to cleanly dispense exposition and clues needed to dig deeper. So much of the show winds up being waiting for Nana to be a whole other plot-lines away just fetching clues while Menou and Akari have to kinda just walk around and bumble into the necessary big players or even coincidentally the roaming warrior princess.

It’s just kinda unable to fill in the spaces and also desperately shows how much of a light novel port without as much big directorial adaption/improvisation with so much of the fights needing pre-and-post fight banter but not so much during.

I will say tho, I absolutely love the modern Anime sound-scape of “tinkering” magi-tek spells ESPECIALLY as they’re interpretted in Executioner’s mid-industrialized world of “An Isekai protag in Medival courts”, so the world IS fun when it gets to be. And yeah despite all my gripes of the author kinda fumbling to get to where they want to go, once Menou DOES get to it’s arc climax, it’s super fun, actiony and with just plenty of fun set-piece fights and reveals that it does make me almost forget the wafting it took to get there...almost.

Either case, it does still check more than enough boxes for me of Yuri, Magitek, “deconstructive isekai” and big reveals, that it’s at least the sorta of ride I can see an easy recommend for my taste even if I bunked it down my “AOTS” for it just being Isekai Claymore.

-Magia Record Season 3: I admit it, I am a Season 3 Apologist and I do in-fact enjoy knowing that being Meguca is Suffering™. I also marathoned the whole other 2 seasons right before and I will say that S1 didn’t know what it wanted to be since straight porting the mobage story just showed how much empty space there was for “introduce Yuasa + new Girl, resolve conflict, repeat” while realizing none of the main 5 kamihama girls have enough fun chemistry together since the anime is in this weird spot of being too fast to deal with SoL antics, but also too barren since so much of the mobage obscured itself with rando fights every 2-3 minute dialogue.

S2 did so much better but also pumped the gas by mixing major plot developments with the few remaining girls arcs, so it gets to show off their fresh new Sakuga talent, Hiroto Nagata, on top of making it feel as if over-coming the doppel trauma with y’know big flashy CONNECT moves adds both more into the the pace and structure but also the major themes that it’s best not to suffer and despair alone or believe that just bottling up your pain until it (literally) explodes and turns you monstrous is any better than just succumbing into being a witch.

That’s also my major additive point that when people complain so much about the anime differing from the game, it’s that it CAN say what the game can’t...that the Doppel system is ACTUALLY REALLY BAD.

But no seriously, the key difference of Doppels being a major game-power-up move almost completely undermines how the story has to resolve itself so when re-watching some of the finale chapters (I still need to FULLY watch the game finale), the game just can’t say “Yu and company were in the wrong”, so they just have to force brainwash and make you fight tons of girls instead.

The anime instead is allowed to actually confront the moral dilemma, that the Yuasa > Doppel system is about as bad as becoming a witch, if you become indefinitely a monster.

And it also gets extra points for having the teeth to NOT pull a Deus ex Madoka to save the day. In many ways everyone’s hatred for how Season 3 ending is ironic to me, since I feel it gets to be far more honest about handling it’s themes and the ultimate tragedies without pulling it’s punches.

And no more of this can I say than through the character of Kuroe, the one everyone feels so snubbed by her entire arc ending in the tragedy it always was meant to be.

Because just flat out, Kuroe’s entire character is a poor girl who just CANNOT handle being a heroic magical girl and is utterly ashamed when placed right next to Iroha being just the kind of ideal girl whom Kuroe can never measure up to.

What Kuroe winds up adding and representing most definitively is that even when everyone around you is bright and supportive, that she and the rest of the story cannot deny...that being a Magical Girl in-itself is suffering, and for some girls there really isn’t any happy ending.

Hate to be so much the “the edgyness and suffering make it deeper” guy but honestly? With how many of the Magia Record girls entire backstories and story designs are just distilled “Yoko Taro tragic bedtime stories”, it seems entirely dishonest to say “oh but no girl REALLY dies or suffers, Madoka/Iroha can just fix them :^)” and I can’t help but see the constant denial as people just kinda really wanting to go back to Precure (no shade to Precure and more optimistic magical girl shows).

And like ok...but what has Madoka always been about? That yes BEING a magical girl IS suffering...but connecting with friends can and WILL save you (quite literally with the big connect end). And I don’t think that theme is ever diminished with a girl like Kuroe who just is unable and unwilling to connect to the bitter end. In truth I think it rather strenghtens what little resolve Iroha DOES get to show by the end of show, even as rushed and compressed as it is, Yachiyo and the Kamihama girls DO still comeback to support Iroha, even with all the sacrifices the Wings of Magius, the remaining girls STILL opt to give a memorial to the fallen, even as twisted the organization was by the end.

My end feelings is that Magia Record IS still true to a Magical Girl shows themes of connection and is in fact strengthens those THROUGH showing it’s tragic low points rather than completely erasing them or evading them like the game does. People kept being weird when the initial S3 ended about “it not having the catharsis like the original Madoka did” but like...do people just ignore Rebellion or do they also deny that Madoka becoming Godoka IS a tragedy, if not for Madoka’s open and willing sacrifice, than the fact of how clearly it leads into Homura’s suffering and despair (again see Rebellion).

It really is my hot take rant, but I will still stand by it, Madoka never had a truly golden ending, and Magia Record S3 is as true to it’s world and story as Madoka has always been, of the harshness of the situation but the brightness, not in just “Deus ex Madoka will solve everything” but rather than being willing to share the burden in truth and through open empathetic connection IS worth pursuing even when it doesn’t always work out.

In Conclusion: Magia Record Season 3 is just Yuki Yuna Dai Mankai abridged to 4 episodes.

bonus: Heike Monogatari. Marathoned this right before Fanime just to see Aoi Yuki in a more nasally, tomboy role and oh man did I tear up. It really is terribly interesting to see a historical fiction (with mild supernaturals just to added to the fatalism of it all) of one of Japanese historical biggest losers, the Heike clan as they reach their inevitable fall from grace.

In truth, it can be VERY hard to keep track of all the places and names with how it both kinda expect the audience to be at least somewhat familiar with pre-Sengoku politics and geography and it sure isn’t helped with how much is purely talking heads...but at the same time Science Saru puts so much of their talent into the minute facial emotions that are only cut between a Rakugo style recounting of like a major political event, like a failed military advancement or an infamous lost battle.

But really what carries the show hardest is the absolute dramatic irony on full display as both the “future sight’d” Biwa gets to watch every clan member slowly get pushed around by fate or their external politics forcing their hand, as either their most sane father ultimately works himself to death trying to keep peace between the clan patriarch and the emperor, so many characters dying trying to maintain some sense of pride while their entire clan is clearly in decay, and just really coming to grips with the meta and in-story themes of facing an inevitable tragedy.

Truthfully it’s this sort of feeling of an unavoidable and truly devastating tragedy which finds its relief, not in some change of fate, but being honest and truthful in recounting the story that this family/clan of Heike DID exist, suffering as they may, and their lives ARE worth remembering even as one of history’s great losers.

It’s the sorta tragedy I haven’t had a chance to see a lot in Western shows, and admittedly I haven’t read a proper Greek Tragedy in a long while, but it’s also was ironically so...refreshing. In a similar vein to me watching how Magia Record S3 choose to end so bittersweetly, it’s a taste of tone I’ve honestly missed out on in just being willing to acknowledge that life DOES have unavoidablely tragic circumstances but that also DOESN’T deny that such a story has value, not as some grand learning moral, but rather in it’s honesty to embrace tragedy as condition of life.

And just as honestly, it gives ME hope far more than any deus ex-ed happy ending could that WITHOUT any happy ending...people can still survive, if not through their own family and legacy, then through their stories. And that itself is far more than any happy ending could give me

[sidewalksurgeon]

Sprint 5 Overview

Sprint Recap:

For our fifth and final Sprint, our main goal was to focus on the distribution of our posters and messages to as many places as possible. Last Sprint, we were in the process of printing our posters and had submitted our posters to multiple VCU distribution services such as Cabell Library, VCU Social Media, etc.

The first thing accomplished during this Sprint was printing and distributing our posters around campus. Lillie, Alo, and Dalton split the printed posters amongst themselves and put them in places such as nearby bus stops and inside school buildings. Most of the posters were taken down immediately, but some stayed up until the end of the semester.

While the posters spread the word about picking up the e-scooters, they didn’t bring much engagement to our Link-tree. We decided to post our poster design along with our Link-tree link to the r/rva and r/vcu subreddits. We wanted to receive feedback about our poster designs to ensure they came across as we intended.

Both posts received lots of engagement almost immediately after we posted them. r/vcu ended up getting 33 upvotes and 22 comments. r/rva was even more successful receiving 67 upvotes and 104 comments. As expected from websites like Reddit, lots of the comments were either jokes or mean and unhelpful comments. The Redditors leaving helpful critiques all had similar things to say about our design. They all pointed out how our team's goal of making the sidewalks more accessible didn’t come across well in the poster. Redditors only knew about our goal to help those with mobility issues when I added an extra comment clarifying why we were doing this. Most assumed we were trying to do the scooter companies' jobs for them. They recommended we add some sort of blub or design on our poster indicating that this is to help the community rather than corporations.

Thanks to this feedback, we also decided we would distribute Dalton’s old poster design that talked about mobility issues and scooters. This poster showed how fallen scooters can make it hard for wheelchair users to use the sidewalks safely.

Even if the reaction to our posters was mixed on Reddit, it still shot up our engagement on Link-Tree. We got a total of 29 views that day, 24 unique views, 25 total clicks, 13 unique clicks, and a click-through rate of 86.21%. 

Along with our poster distribution and Reddit postings, we also submitted our designs to VCU distribution sites. We initially submitted our designs to VCU’s social media page, the Student Commons digital screens, the Commonwealth Times, the Cabell Library digital screen, the Stall Street Journal, and Telegram. We also messaged Byrd/Lime about putting our posters on their story and were even told by GRTC that they would put up posters on their bus stops and post us on their story.

The first ones to get back to us were the people in charge of the Student Commons digital screens. They sent us an email letting us know that our design was in their rotation of images and should play in the Commons. However, when I went to check, I noticed our design never came up. I sat for over half an hour while the screens kept repeating the same messages. I emailed the people in charge of the digital screen but they weren't able to help us fix the problem before the end of the semester.

VCU social media got back to us almost immediately and let us know that they would post our poster and Link-tree link every week on the official VCU Instagram story until the end of the semester. I’ve checked back every week and can confirm that our message plays weekly on their story. 

When we messaged the Commonwealth Times about putting our poster in their newspaper, they had already printed their last volume of the year. While we weren’t able to be posted in the physical release, they let us know that they would post us on their digital newsletter on December 1st. When December 1st came, they indeed posted us in the newsletter. We were the very first image when opening up the newsletter. 

The Cabell Library digital screen, Telegram, and Byrd/Lime never responded to our requests. Stall Street Journal also didn’t put us in an issue but they are focused on mostly mental/physical health issues so it makes sense why scooter safety wouldn’t fit in with their usual articles. Even though I spoke with Henry from the GRTC’s marking team and he approved our ideas, he never responded to any of my follow-up emails so we couldn’t do anything officially with the GRTC.

Towards the beginning of Thanksgiving Break, I got an email from Susan Sutphin (MPC Campus Coordinator) that Corey Beyers (University Relations) and Molly Case (Communications) would love to meet with us after the break to help us distribute our poster designs. 

Once break was over, we met up with everyone over Zoom. I let both Corey and Molly know about what we were doing for our project, what our goals were, and what we had accomplished so far. They both congratulated us on how much we had done already and were unsure how much more they could help us with. Since Corey has direct connections with VCU’s police, she told us she could create a “Geofenced Alert", which is when an alert pops up on your phone when you approach a specific area. She told me to give her 6 locations on campus where students would automatically receive a message telling them to pick up scooters if they stepped near those areas. This was all to be done through the Livesafe app which is a safety alerts app that VCU suggests all students download. She also said she would post us on all of the VCU police social media on December 4th. We agreed and she set up the Geofence to run December 4th-6th.

Molly told us there wasn't much more she could do for us since we submitted to almost all of the VCU distribution sites. She was the one who suggested we submit it on Telegram but when we did, we were denied.

On December 4th, VCU police posted us on their Instagram, Instagram stories, X (Twitter), Facebook, and Threads.

On Wednesday, December 6th, she shared with us all of the stats from the three days the posts were active. VCUpd’s Facebook reach and engagement reached 311, Instagram reach and engagement reached 508, Instagram stories reached 122 views, Twitter reach and engagement reached 188, and Threads reached 0. Corey informed us that the VCU police Threads account doesn’t ever get engagement since Threads isn’t as popular as other social media. 

The Geofence alert ran for three days as well and was set up at Cabell Library, The Student Commons, Harrison Street Cafe/Village Cafe, Monroe Park, Cary Street Gym, and Bowe Street Deck. I walked in these areas to test this out and can confirm that I received the alert on the Livesafe app. 

Corey also shared the stats for the Geofence alert and told us that it reached 423 users in the 3 days it was up.

Around when all of these posts and alerts were put up, we also received a large increase in our Link-tree engagement. We got a total of 23 views, 17 unique views, 16 total clicks, 8 unique clicks, and a click through rate of 69.57%.

Towards the end of our project, we also attempted to do an in-person survey at Cabell Library. We set up a table near the library and put out a large candy bowl. We would give people free candy if they completed our survey. The survey consists of questions asking the person if they have seen our posters around campus, if they use a scooter, and if they’ve had scooter related issues in the past. Sadly, we had very limited engagement. We only had 7 people fill out our survey since it was one of the coldest days of the year when we did this. Most people wanted to be in and out as fast as possible.

The very last thing we did during this project to spread our message was distributing even more posters around campus. Since a lot of our older posters were removed, we decided to put up even more. This time, we did a mix of our original scooter posters and also our accessibility issues poster as requested by many people on Reddit. We put them up on poles all over campus, Cabell library, outside apartment complexes, and just anywhere where they had an unlikely chance of getting removed. Like last time, some got removed almost immediately while some still stand even today.

Final Results:

By the end of the semester, we got a total of 145 views, 86 clicks, and a Click-through rate of 59.31% on our Link-tree. We put up over 20 posters around the VCU campus, were posted to VCU’s official Instagram story weekly, and were featured in the Commonwealth Times. We were also posted to VCU Police’ Instagram Stories (122 views), Instagram (508 reach and engagement), Facebook (311 reach and engagement), Twitter (188 reach and engagement), and Threads (0 reach and engagement). We were able to reach 423 users in 3 days with a Geofence alert in 6 locations on campus. We got 33 upvotes and 23 comments on r/vcu and 67 upvotes and 104 comments on r/rva. We were able to get the attention of VCU’s Monroe Park Campus Coordinator, VCU Police, GRTC’s marketing head, and VCU’s head of communication while trying to spread our message. We also got 7 people to fill out our survey during in-person polling. 

Towards the end of the Sprint, I got an email from Susan who let us know that she thinks our campaign made an impact on campus. She said that ever since we started our scooter campaign, scooters are no longer as scattered and fallen over like they used to be. She said she no longer sees them in weird places like bushes. 

Reflection:

I feel that our project was a success. We were able to distribute our message through many different platforms and methods and were able to reach hundreds of people. Susan who pointed out this scooter problem to us in the first place told us how she believes that our scooter campaign was a success. I feel like this entire project taught me such important skills that I wouldn’t have learned anywhere else. I feel like I learned how to network, learned how to properly advertise, distinguish helpful critique from unhelpful critique, learned how to continue on when things don't work out like they should, and also learned how to properly manage a project that goes on for this long. Even though my major doesn’t have anything to do with product design, I feel that everything I learned in this class can be applied to any career and skills

A couple of things that I wish we did differently would be to start reaching out to people earlier. I feel like we should have tried a more manageable goal from the very beginning rather than trying something so ambitious. We wasted a lot of time trying to contact people and find solutions to a problem that obviously couldn’t be solved in a semester. If I were to redo this project, I would greatly reduce the amount of time we took to plan our project. Because of this, we were very late on reaching out to people to help us distribute our projects. If we began that stage earlier, we could have been able to get our poster printed in the physical version of the Commonwealth Times and have the GRTC distribute our posters.

Overall, I think both the failings and successes of this project will prepare me for future projects in and outside of design. 

[amyscascadingtabs]

this is sappy but whatever. i wrote most of this before the season started (which is why i come off as reasonable and somewhat mentally stable about all of this) but felt appropriate to post it now as a thank you. ❤️

i have vivid memories from the night b99 was cancelled. the news came late evening my time, and i had been editing fic and checked twitter and there it was. loud and clear. i don’t remember which site it was but the picture was jake and amy with their wedding cake and that made everything feel even worse.

i remember freaking out even though i had been prepared, because those last days before the news hit on tumblr were... panicked. but i still freaked out to the extent that i ran outside in my pajama pants and hoodie and blue plastic slippers and called my mom, and then i walked up and down the streets where i lived in the darkness and cried in frustration as she tried to talk me down. i remember there were random guys with motorcycles out? but i was too hysterical to care. i’m pretty sure i screamed something to my mom about ”HOW CAN BIG BANG THEORY GET A BILLION SEASONS BUT THIS SHOW GETS CANCELLED????”

i know everyone who was in the fandom at the time has their cancellation story. what played the biggest part in mine was the fact that i felt like i hadn’t had enough time. really, i had only just become active in the fandom, only just started interacting with people on here and writing my first few fics, but i was absolutely loving it. it was giving me happiness again after a long period of emptiness and depressive feelings. when it was cancelled, what made me feel the worst was the fact that i’d had so little time – to make friends, write fic and react to episodes together. i felt deeply jealous of everyone who’d gotten more.

thinking about it coming to an end now has made me remember that night and those feelings of jealousy. because i did get more time. i got three more years. that night, i remember asking for just one, for a half, for anything, and i got three years.

and these three years have been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings and episodes and debates and discussions and gifsets and fanfic and asks and having this as my safe space while pretty much everything changed around me in the outside world, and i just want you all to know that i have never taken a single day of them for granted. this show could have been taken from me before i’d ever gotten the chance to grow with it and alongside it, and instead it was part of my life for three whole years.

i have a really, really good memory (four time quiz champion anyone? just me?okay <3), and i remember so much of it in such detail, and it's so weird to think about how long it's been when it also feels like yesterday.

i remember my first comment on peraltiago parenting experience, my first episode-related fic, the insane high after the renewal, staying up all night to watch the wedding live. i remember writing fanfiction on the beach while on vacation in greece, on a plane to berlin, at home on my parents balcony late late at night. i remember the honeymoon episode title being released, s6 starting filming again, the excitement over every little piece of news and finding about the cast directing. i remember labor fic and christmas fics and when i scroll back to pictures of my paris trip in january 2019 it's interspersed with a billion pictures of andy at the golden globes. i remember lighting my fairy lights in my little basement room and watching season 6 in bed at 2.30 am if it was a big episode, and watching it in the morning before fridays in high school most days. i remember writing post-ep fics during classes and on my phone on subways and trains. i remember the s7 news, and the casecation nerves and debates, and fucking kissgate. being named "the class amy santiago" by my friends when we graduated and getting a little silver paper plate to show for it. i remember the first fic exchange and inventing julian and simon santiago and i remember meeting @johnny-and-dora and eating wagamamas in manchester and talking about how simon santiago was DEFINITELY on the stairs and buying a little fake plant that i named andy plantberg (he's still in a box somewhere). i remember writing fic during slow hours in the ice cream shop i worked at. moving and putting up my framed b99 poster in my own apartment (very much still up). finding out about trying and everyone going fucking crazy. infertility fic. melissa's pregnancy news. s7 promo and standing outside my job the very first day and texting siân "AMY HAS TO PEE!!!!!???" because that was in the promo and we knew there were pregnancy tests involved in the first episode. the crazy happiness of s7 finally premiering. everyone going crazy about jake and amy deciding to start trying and how i could quote the scene verbatim the next few days. the week leading up to trying, what turned out to be the last normal week before the pandemic. the fucking MESS i was after that. the following week and ding dong and crying with happiness. being dizzy with hyperfixation joy the following day and barely feeling aware of the covid pandemic for the first few days because i was just thinking about jake and amy having a baby. getting through the first few weeks mostly because of b99. admiral peralta and finding out we were having a BOY and not even being disappointed even though the headcanon had been the opposite for years because it was perfect. the iconic b99 quizzes. lights out and mac being born. somehow managing 475 days before season 8, coping together when we got the news about the final season, watching the cast do their final day of filming. the first stream being interrupted by a storm warning and cutting out several minutes because of course. getting to see parents peraltiago and MAC and the insane speed with which those few seconds were giffed. more b99 quizzes. the vow renewal. the finale.

i remember all of it and so much more and as much as my heart is breaking, i’m trying to remind myself that i could have gotten none of this.

brooklyn nine-nine has been such an important part of my life. and it always, always will be, forever. i could have lost it all that night, and instead i got three more years. if i'd known that when i was walking the streets outside my house in the darkness in complete panic, i would have cried with happiness.

so thank you. all of you. for everything. ❤️❤️❤️ for the friendships, the joy, the asks, the debates, the fic response, EVERYTHING. whether we've shared three years or one or less, just know that i'm so grateful.

have some random pictures i found and screenshots from my private instagram (which is inactive so don't bother) from when i started this hyperfixation. jesus lmao 😭😭😭😭 i am less insane now. no i'm not. but i express it less on instagram.

[melmac78]

Of leather tooling and love

(Tag mini bang 2021)

Here’s my story for @tagminibang. I want to thank @tracybirds for their amazing art and working with me. Also, I thank them being extremely patient with learning about leather tooling and for adapting to the time zone difference to get this put together.

(I added my own art piece - “John’s” astronomy cuff… mark I, and will link directly to tracybirds’s art when I can fully figure this out).

•••••••

John Tracy was mad... so mad he was making an indelible mark that would take forever for someone to wipe away or cover up.

Fortunately it was leather, and he was tooling a design so no one would really want to cover it up, but he still was at points surprised he wasn't punching holes in the design… or the table.

A chirp however made him question the latter.

“John, please do not hit the table so hard. You are making my processors overload,” gently scolded EOS as the man was swinging the rawhide mallet.

While fortunately her interruption didn’t make him miss, allowing him to add to the octopus design, John set the leather tools down and sighed. “I’m sorry EOS,” he said gently.

“I accept your apology, but I do not understand why stamping cowhide will help your anger,” said the AI.

“As I said, it’s leather tooling, and it’s better to use my anger for something creative,” John said quietly.

“Even this … item?”

He looked at the cuff he was working on again and gave a half smile. “Even this wallet,” the astronaut chuckled.

After giving EOS a task to do, reminding her not to adjust the gravity back to zero to avoid any spills from his work, John looked at the project again.

He sighed, understanding his curious “data child’s” curiosity. Leather tooling, while a bit outdated in some people's eyes, was one of the few learned talents and gifts he still had from his Grandfather as well as his Dad.

And - it reminded him of Gordon, in good and bad times.

Gordon… his brother with the wacky sense of dress.

The aquanaut preferred to wear on average two leather bands and then a woven smaller band with the first two oyster pearls he found.

That's why he stopped - at the moment, it felt as though if he took out more anger on the mallet and metal stamping tool, he was hurting Gordon. Triple if he managed to hit it so hard it tore through the damp leather.

Who knew Gordon’s penchant for being the only one to wear leather wrist bands would save his life?

A week and a half prior... he chose to wear two broader bands on one arm and his usual one on his other.

They were nearly the width of a cuff, with designs that took forever to explain to EOS. It was an unusual decision, but one that the brothers were thankful Gordon made.

They had been called out to a rescue - a skyscraper fire in Houston, and all land based brothers had been called as it required high rise rescue.

Gordon had been on level 70 of the building, rescuing an unconscious woman. He had secured the victim in with his harness and started to use the pulley to get them to the top of the building for Thunderbird to lift them to safety.

An explosion had knocked them for a loop, smashing Gordon into the building.

Gordon took the brunt of the hit, slamming into the frame.

In spite of the helmet, he too was knocked out. Worse, the grapple slipped, and glass shards, still stuck in their mounts, sliced down his forearms.

It cut the neoprene... and through part of his thick leather cuffs.

When they recovered both victims, Virgil and John immediately triaged the two. She had a minor concussion and smoke inhalation.

Gordon however not only too had the bump on the head - thanks to the helmet taking the brunt, he also a dislocated shoulder, and a few cracked and broken ribs.

But what was the immediate concern at the time of the rescue was his arms, particularly the wrists. They took the brunt of the damage.

The leather bands however, saved his life. They made what would've been life threatening - if not fatal, slashes on his wrist to mostly superficial cuts.

The bands though were completely destroyed as far as wearability. Virgil would have to apologize for cutting them completely off - but not why - later.

Gordon was taken to a hospital in Houston's esteemed Medical Center, where he went through multiple surgeries, a few pints of blood, and lots of rest.

That was a week ago, as Gordon had a healing rib rebreak, nicking his lung. It was repaired, the bleeder stopped, but Gordon had to be put under sedation for a couple of days to ensure the site healed.

Though they had lifted the sedation the day prior and were waiting for Gordon to come out of it, the family would have to wait couple of days before he could return to Tracy Island.

That lead to where he was today.

John sighed, and looked around Thunderbird Five.

He had been practicing some leather tooling at University of Houston's art department.

That was before a space rescue needed both him and Alan, and afterword, he stayed on Five to keep apprised of a possible hurricane.

Well that and have an excuse to decline another lecture invite from NASA.

John was thankful that U of H understood his need for privacy, and that having a PhD in Aeronautics and Space allowed him some special favors.

The positive it included the use of one of the art studios to leather tool...

The negative? The trade off was as long as he also donated one of his famous astronomy tooled leather cuffs for a fundraiser.

He had already finished the band for the auction two days prior, complete with the antique leather dye, golden paint accents in the star constellations, and steampunk like swing hinge cuff. Not the easiest to make, especially setting the rivets for the cuff.

Worth it to John - small price to pay, but would reap rewards for U of H’s generosity. He’d bring it to them when he visited Gordon again.

The astronaut then looked at the octopus carved and stamped on the wallet. "It was too damn close," he said out loud, but at the same time, he was thankful. This was for Gordon later on.

John then smiled at the thought. It was indeed for his aquanaut brother, one they could’ve lost in that fire.

He was about to stamp the leather again... when a beep startled him.

The astronaut asked EOS to answer it, and the image of Virgil came out of the monitor.

"Gordon's come to," said Virgil.

"Fully?"

The older brother shrugged. "Mostly, but he should be fully alert by the time you get to the hospital," he said, then frowned. "He's asking about the leather bands... especially the one that was 'Mom's belt'."

John furrowed his brow.

Yes, that belt bracelet.

Fortunately the one bracelet Gordon hadn't worn that day.

Unfortunately, the one Gordon duplicated - with varying degrees of success, he did wear nearly daily.

John could imagine Gordon’s initial reaction… he’d feel the same way.

"Virgil, Gordon didn't wear that cuff that day," he said. "He intentionally put a small Thunderbird stamp on his so he didn't confuse the two."

Virgil nodded. "I know, but you know him and anesthetics... gives him the wrong memory if he's not goofy from it," he said, then chuckled. “Last time he was trying to feed Parker poster pancakes on the USS Lexington.”

John scoffed at the memory. "That one still has Parker perplexed," he said, then stood, stretching. "Try to talk him down from his confusion. I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to get something."

Virgil noticed John’s labors on the table and quirked an eyebrow. "What about the wallet you're working on?"

"It'll be fine. The leather can be dampened again to finish it up. I expected it to be a longer project over the bracelets I made at U of H,” he said, putting the stamping tool and mallet down.

The artist noticed John’s attempt to deflect, and his eyes twinkled in mischief. "So… how many projects did the University ‘con’ you out of for the auction this time?" said the artist with a teasing smirk.

He wasn't going to give his younger brother too much grief - he still owed the University at least one hand blown glass vase.

"Just the one - the astronomy cuff."

Virgil gave a soft whistle. "That one? You won't even make that one for me."

"Then bid on the one they're selling," snarked John as he cleaned up the rest of the leather tooling supplies.

Virgil merely laughed - yeah, he was going to bid if anything to help a department who helped his brother cope through this.

John then picked up a box wrapped in sea turtle wrapping paper. "I'll be there shortly,” he said walking to the space elevator.

“FAB.”

********

Gordon Tracy looked out the windows of his hospital room from his hovering hospital bed and signed.

He was thankful he wasn't stuck with a view of the generators. The hospital still hadn't gotten over teasing him - gently - about calling them "Donald Duck" in a post-anesthesia comment the other time he was there for an injury.

Here, it was a view of one of the garden parks the area had.

What he wasn't thankful for was the fact he lost the leather band that was made from his mother's belt.

He looked at the long bandages wrapped on his wrists and lower arms and sighed.

Sure, Virgil kept insisting it was not the band, but he knew his bracelets.

Yes, he had to admit they had to be fully cut off too keep him from bleeding out through his wrists - he knew one cut was still too close.

Still though... he had to concede if it was gone, it was his mother protecting him.

Even Scott had told him point blank it was the only time he was thankful Gordon had forgotten to take the bands off.

Rumor had it Scott was even considering consulting with Brains to create leather arm bracers.

His theory was if it worked for the cowboys in the 1800s and 1900s, why not the technological cowboys of today?

Gordon looked at the sky and smiled. "Thanks Mom for watching over both that woman and me," he said, then looked at the bands.

There were blood stains on them, which were not going to come out.

Sure, they could be dyed dark before being stored, most likely black, and he could have John help him there. That said, it was not going to matter when they had been made unwearable when Virgil cut them off.

There were the button and hole fixtures sure... but the aquanaut understood Virgil was going to slice first, apologize for saving Gordon's life later.

Blood loss didn’t wait for bracelets.

A knock at the door shook him out of his thoughts. "Come in," he said, adjusting the bed to where it floated back to connect with the main vitals scanner.

John entered and smiled at seeing his alert brother, the first time he'd been fully awake since before the accident.

"Hi Gordon, how are you feeling," he said, wincing slightly at the cliche.

His fish loving brother just smiled, but the astronaut didn't miss the sadness in the cinnamon colored eyes. "I'm having a whale of a time... too bad the lake below probably only has ducks," he said, chuckling slightly.

“Must be going ‘quackers’ then,” joked John, only to watch as Gordon fiddled with the remains of the bracelets. John coughed. "Gordon..."

"I know. They had to be cut off in order to save my life," the aquanaut said, sighing. "It's just... this was mom's - look at the paisley here..."

John put his hand over both his younger brother's and smiled. "It isn't the one made with Mom's belt, trust me,” he said, smiling, then pointing to a detail. "See? Here's the thunderbird stamp you used for yours."

Gordon took a closer look, and his eyes widened slightly.

John was right... it was indeed there, just had been cut in half by the cutting tools. Well he hoped so and not the glass, but that was a story left unsaid at the time.

"It's not mom's," the aquanaut whispered instead, tears of happiness flooding his eyes.

The astronaut smiled and gave his brother a gentle hug. "No it isn't. I made sure the one with Mom's was in the fire safe - just in case, on the Island before Alan brought me to the hospital," he said gently.

The two hugged gently for a while, the mix of hospital bluster and soothing sounds from the Muzak in the hallways mingling between the brother's hushed tones.

After a few minutes, Gordon sat up, and noticed the sea turtle box his brother was holding. "Funny looking NASA paper," the aquanaut teased, chuckling softly when John rolled his eyes.

He knew John tried to avoid the facility if possible.

Not because he didn't enjoy it, but because the last time he visited the center, Mission Control crowded him the point he fainted from the social claustrophobia.

Alan found it amusing.

EOS found it amusing to force Alan to eat freeze dried brussel sprouts and liver with onions meals every day his last rotation on Thunderbird Five for his "rude behavior."

Both men chuckled in the memory, and John handed his brother the box. "Nope, this is for you, a get well soon present," said he said.

Gordon carefully opened up the box, which John had purposely wrapped the two parts separately due to the shoulder being strapped, and gasped.

Inside were two bracelets.

One was similar to his mother's belt, but the paisley and flower design that was in his mom's band was adjusted slightly to include southwestern printed sea turtles and a squid stamp John had custom made. Like his mother's, it was dyed a medium brown.

The other... took Gordon's breath away.

The edges were done in a simple border - scalloped with the occasional octopus and sea turtle stamp in between the scallops. It was dyed mahogany.

It was mostly just border stamped... because the concho fastened in the center was the showstopper.

It was a golden sea turtle, swimming in the middle of a pewter center. “How?…”

Seeing Gordon's eyes water, John chuckled. "Yes, I remembered that concho. Had trouble finding it, but fortunately the store on the Sam Houston Tollway found one and put it aside for me," he said as he put a hand on his brother's uninjured shoulder.

Gordon put the box down and wiped away the tears with his good hand. "Got a bit of hand sanitizer in my eyes. Strong stuff," he said, and John scoffed.

"Yeah, sure... you want me to help put it on your … good wrist?" John said, and coughed when Gordon shot the arm out. "Whew... you weren't kidding on the hand sanitizer,” he laughed, waving the fumes away.

"Yeah... apparently it's 'essense of moonshine' I think. It probably kills germs 10 years before they’re born," Gordon smirked.

The bands fit perfectly, and had a simple button and hole fastener so the doctors or even Gordon could take it off with a push if needed.

John watched his brother admire the bracelet, even taking a few photos of the laughs and chuckles his brother made as he showed it off.

Gordon then paused and looked at John. "You made these right?" he inquired, looking at the antiqued looking band.

The astronaut nodded, and Gordon continued, grinning slightly in memory. "How many bands did the University get you to make in exchange for the use of the studio this time?"

"One - and before you ask, the astronomy one,” John said, touching a button on his baldric to ensure EOS didn’t talk about the wallet. She still had a proclivity to ruin surprises - especially if it was one of John’s younger siblings.

Gordon, knowing how much money usually got raised to but one of these bands, looked at the bands and then John. "Worth every cent," he said, smiling warmly as the nurse came in to check Gordon's vitals and bring dinner.

John took this as a note to head out, but before he left, he looked at his brother, who was bragging about the bracelet his older brother made.

And making it very clear how to take it on and off so this one was not cut off.

The astronaut gave a gentle wave to his brother. "I'll be back later," he said, and headed out.

Hearing the chuckles Gordon made again, John's smile broadened. "Yes, it was worth every single minute and cent to hear that laughter," John murmured, but it was priceless to have his brother saved by those other bands.

Now... how he was going to steal the remnants of the old bands to repurpose into a hippie cuff for Gordon was another story

[3centsofbutter]

Things I’ve missed about the sun - Bakugo Katsuki

Bakugo katsuki x reader

You used to be my sun, that’s what I always saw you as. 

A bright blistering star that blinded me if I ever dared to look upon you. You were dangerous to the touch but I basked in your warmth nonetheless. I missed that about you, how you were always there for me even if it wasn’t intentional.

“Oi Baka, you gonna keep starin’ at the window or are we gonna have a conversation like regular people do?”

Hatsume waved her hand in front of your face in an attempt to pull you from your thoughts. It was a humid Sunday afternoon and you had joined your friend for tea at the mall. College exams were finally over and done with so you both decided to celebrate before you were thrown back into the busy rhythm of life. 

“Since when did they have Bakugo collectables at Toyco?”

An all too familiar face stared back at you aggressively on a giant poster advertising the new line of hero collectables plastered outside the Toyco opposite the cafe. It seemed like his presence always found its way into your life no matter how far away he was. 

“Hm, Ground Zero merch, never thought it would be this quick before that bastard had his branding stuck all over the shirt’s of kids.” She lifted the straw out of her iced tea and pointed it at your face. “You’re not still hung up over that sack of trash, right?”

You sheepishly smiled and rubbed the back of your neck, a light blush dancing on the apples of your cheeks. It had been a while since you had talked to the hot-headed blonde but your high school crush on him had persisted. You were in the support class F and frequently interacted with hero studies class A for support items and general classes which coincidentally made you form an odd friendship with Bakugo. You were both really close at one point but fell off once the school year had ended. You really missed him even though he was just a phone call away, you could never bring yourself to make an excuse to call. 

“Well, it’s really hard when his face is every third news story on TV!”

Hatsume threw her head back and laughed. 

Bakugo was strange, obviously, and was infamous amongst the school for having the worst temper and the many incidents Class A somehow found themselves in, and by default, you found yourself in the midst of the chaos. 

“Bakugo! You know my workbench is not a bed, right?”

It was after Bakugo’s kidnapping fiasco that you found him lying on your workbench in the shared support facility. It was 5:30 in the morning and he knew that only you’d be there. 

“I want you to upgrade my gear, all of it.”

His voice was soft, almost a whisper, a rarity you had never heard from him before. You decided to entertain him. 

“Gotta be more specific, Sir.” You picked up his gauntlets and ran your fingers over the minor scuffs and scratches on its surface. “You can’t level up your gear like you evolve pokemon, tell me what you want done.”

His voice was still quiet. “I just want it to be better, got anything for that?”

You placed the gauntlet down on the table next to him and pulled out a wheely chair from underneath the table. 

“Is everything alright Blasty? Things have been rough for you recently but it’s not your fault, y’know?”

He sighed and raised his arms towards the overhead lamp and stared at the scars and burns that decorated his forearms. You had never paid much attention to them before but now in the light, it almost seemed like a work of art, you remembered that Hatsume once said that each uneven patch of skin and scar that marked a hero’s body was like a war trophy, a symbol of their resilience and hardships that they faced to get where they were today. 

“I hate these scars,” He said, as he dropped his arms back onto the table. “Those bastard villains gave me 6 more to hate.”

You carefully took one of his arms and held it in your hands. His silence was enough for you to know that he didn’t mind the invasion of personal space. You lightly traced the scars with your fingertips in silence, some had faded but some were more prominent than others. 

“Your hands are rough, you know that?”

You chuckled and lifted one hand into the light, fully showing the callouses that marked them. 

“You gotta have this many when you’re working with metal all the time.”

He grunted in agreement, not saying a thing more. 

“I like your scars y’know.” You placed his arm back on the table. “They show how hard you worked to get here.”

Your eyes met for a second in which it felt like an eternity. He was the one to break it. 

“Thanks.”

You both sat in silence as you watched the sunrise from the UA windows, relishing in each other’s company. It was such a simple interaction that was forever ingrained into your memory and probably the first time you ever fully realised your feelings for the boy. 

“Maa how long has it been, 5 years you’ve liked him?” Hatsume teased as she stole a forceful of your cake. “Maybe you should call him, would be a lot better than daydreaming about him all the time.” 

You furiously shook your head. “He’s probably busy doing hero stuff y’know, he doesn’t have time for a lowlife like me.”

You pointed to the poster that almost felt as if it was constantly eavesdropping on your conversation. “He’s got bigger things to worry about, Hatsume.”

She sighed and propped her chin on her hand. 

“Mmm, maybe if you didn’t leave so early at the reunion night last month then maybe you wouldn’t be in this position.”

“You know how I am with parties! If it’s past 10 I gotta go home, not all of us are night owls like you!”

It was honestly a terrible night. There were over 30 people crammed into Yaoyorozu’s penthouse apartment and there was too much going on to have any meaningful interactions with anyone. Sure it was nice to see everyone again but it was more like small clusters of people in their own conversations and you didn’t really seem to fit in anywhere. You had talked to Bakugo that night, but only briefly before he was dragged off by Kirishima to greet some other people. You had learnt that he was currently stationed in Kyoto in a partner agency with Kirishima. 

You sighed and stared at the empty plate in front of you. Hatsume had taken the liberty to finish off the rest of your blueberry yoghurt slice while you were lost in your thoughts. 

“Why don’t you make some support gear for him?” She asked. “He always liked the stuff you made anyways.”

You drummed your fingers on the table, you guessed that was true. 

“He probably has some big shot designers working for him right now, he wouldn’t want anything a college student is making.”

“Maa, you’re so annoying you know that?”

You simply laughed at her, even you could acknowledge you were a piece of work. 

“Mum, Mum! Look it’s the real Ground Zero!”

You looked outside the window once again to see a child pointing excitedly at that stupid poster. Every time you looked at it, it seemed to infuriate you even more. 

“Can you please sign my lunchbox, Mr Hero? Pretty please!”

You did a double-take at the Toyco and noticed a very familiar blonde headed boy, albeit his hair a little shorter since the last time you saw him. He was dressed casually in a pair of shorts and a graphic tee, different from how you usually saw him on the news. You watched him as he bent down and signed the kid’s red lunchbox and ruffled his hair with an encouraging smile. It looked like the public relations training worked wonders on him. 

He noticed your staring from the across the mall and you quickly turned away. Hatsume was nowhere in sight and a napkin with the words ‘GOOD LUCK!’ messily scrawled onto it was there in her place. You began to panic as you felt the heat rising to your face. 

The bell on the cafe door tinkled. 

“Is that you?”

You sheepishly looked up at him. 

“I thought you were in Kyoto, Bakugo. What brings you here?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “I missed home so I thought about setting up an agency around here. I guess I’ll be around a whole lot more now.”

His face was a slight tinge pink and the awkwardness hung in the air like a thick blanket. 

Hatsume hadn’t bullied you about this for all those years for you to let him slip away from you again. Maybe it was time for you to pull up your bootstraps and act upon your feelings for once. 

“Are you free tonight?”

That caught him by surprise. “I guess I am.”

“Wanna grab a bite to eat?”

The widest smile stretched across his face. 

“Is this a date?”

Your face was heating up to an unreasonable degree. “It is if you want it to be.”

He laughed. 

“I’d be honoured.”

Your sun was back to stay. 

Master list of all my stuff

A/N Getting a bit inspirational by posting 2 in a day after leaving the site for like what, a month or so? lmao.

[unofficialfansie]

So I was here for the 2017/2018 Fansie period, but I never interacted with anyone. Please explain the Holocaust AU and/or the 911 AU. (Like, what??)

Ah, yes. The seminal classics (please note the sarcasm).

TW for discussion of the Holocaust and 9/11.

The Holocaust AU was a oneshot someone (who shall remain nameless because I am absolutely not trying to start shit up again and I think they might still be on Tumblr) wrote after seeing a photo of a display at a concentration camp of the mobility aids which were taken from people by the Nazis during the Holocaust.

The basic plot was that Jack was a Romani person (but they didn't use that word, they used the word g***y, which I have censored because it is my understanding that that word is considered a slur by Romani people) and Crutchie was a disabled person who used to have a crutch which had been taken from him (yes I still remember all of this, yes I did read the story back in the day before it was deleted, yes that was a mistake, yes I have seen too much). Jack and Crutchie then fall in love at the camp, but then Jack dies, and that's how it ends.

People understandably got very upset after it was posted, and the person originally was very defensive and refused to take it down (which I really don't understand, I mean dude you posted this incredibly insensitive and awful story to a fandom with a large number of Jewish, queer, and disabled people, what did you think was going to happen?) They did take it down after about a day, though, and posted an apology wherein they claimed that because they're not American they have a different perspective on using the word g***y and so they didn't realize it was offensive until it was too late. They didn't really address the Holocaust aspect of the story in their apology from what I can remember. Then they either deleted their blog or renamed it, I can't remember which.

Now for the 9/11 AU.

Someone (again, they shall remain nameless) went on a school trip to the 9/11 museum and memorial and learned about a man (I don't remember his name off the top of my head but you can probably Google it) who wore a red bandanna everywhere as a lucky charm for most of his life, who then died in one of the Twin Towers. Afterwards, his bandanna was found completely intact amidst the rubble, and he and his story became symbols of hope in the dark times of 9/11.

I think people can probably tell where this is going.

They wrote an AU where Jack was that person, and died in the Twin Towers trying to save one of the other newsies (maybe Crutchie? Or Race? I don't remember who). Unlike the Holocaust AU I never read this story, so I can't give many specifics about the story itself, but I do remember that the person defended themselves by saying that they asked their mom to read it before they posted it and that she thought it was fine. I also don't remember them ever taking it down, so it might actually still be up on the site? You can go looking for it if you want to suffer, I guess, but please don't attack them if it is still up.

On that note, I'm sharing this stuff for posterity, commiseration, and so that people can hear a firsthand account of what happened, not so that people can go looking for the people who wrote these stories and attack them for it almost 3 years later. From what I remember both of the people who wrote these were young teenagers, and while they definitely should have known better, they've also probably (hopefully) matured in the years since and they don't deserve to have their online lives ruined over it yet again. Let's talk about all of this in good faith, and let the past be.

If you want to know about anything else, simply send me an ask!

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Twelve

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains a brief scene of attempted sexual assault. Stay safe!]

Mark twenty-eight nuclear warheads .

  Backhand squinted down at the paper, up at Ingram and then back at the paper. "Oh, is that all?" She asked sarcastically. "What, you don't want me to grab milk and eggs while I'm out?"

  " Easy , smartass." Proctor Ingram laughed. "We know the general location. All we need is for you to sweep the area, get rid of hostiles and secure the payload. Simple!"

  "Yeah? Where's the general location then?" Backhand challenged.

  Ingram spread the map out on the desk, tapping the area circled in the lower left hand corner. "It's a military site, Prescott I think? One of our scribes was able to triangulate it using the documents you and Danse scooped from that veteran housing development."

  "In the Glowing Sea." Backhand groaned. "I had kind of hoped to never need to go back out there." I'd better start getting some damn perks for all the legwork I'm doing , she thought uncharitably.

  " Theirs not to make reply, theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die ." Ingram quoted at her, laughing again when Vega grumbled under her breath. "C'mon Vega, you're like the Brotherhood's poster child for Commonwealth recruitment. Where's your Ad Victoriam spirit? You have to spearhead this, if only for the eventual publicity."

  "Ah, the press ." Backhand retorted. "Who's my backup, then?"

  "Your sponsor, obviously! Though I'm guessing after this you'll be welcomed into the fold for real." Ingram mused, her expression thoughtful. "Danse seemed better when I saw him last. I think the time off the Prydwen has really done him some good."

  Vega tried to hide her flush of pride, quickly asking, "Other than the lack of big boomers, how is Prime looking?"

  "Pretty good, I'd say! It was a real stroke of luck that you got us Madison back, even if working with her makes me want to set my pubes on fire." Ingram answered frankly. "We're both too stubborn to function well together, but sometimes we can shut up and actually get shit done. Those are the times I believe we might have a shot here."

  "Your confidence is overwhelming." Backhand said dryly. 

  The other woman gave her a lopsided grin. "I've seen too many ops go south to put all my eggs in one scientist's basket, Vega. At least we'll have the numbers of the Minutemen on our side in case Prime can't get off the ground."

  "Has Quinlan had any luck getting that information unscrambled? My buddy hit a dead end pretty early on with the encryption, and he's dying to know whether he actually helped or whether it's all junk data." 

  Truthfully Sturges had gotten much further than either of them had expected (the fact that he knew there was data on the tape at all was a miracle), but Ingram didn't exactly have to know that. The older woman's sigh didn't sound overly promising though.

  "Nothing yet. He and his scribes have been working as close to around the clock as they can get without disrupting Cade across the way. It's always a process in close quarters." The proctor hummed. "With any luck, maybe a few more days?"

  "I'll keep my fingers crossed." Backhand promised. "I know it'll probably all be considered confidential information, but still."

  …

  "No."

  " Excuse me, Paladin?" Arthur snarled.

  Danse stood by the door to the elder's quarters, his posture perfect. "I said no, Elder Maxson." He repeated. "I will not be engaging with you any longer." 

  "Dare I ask what has brought about this insubordination? " The younger man queried.

  Danse stood firm. "This is not insubordination, Elder Maxson. You have exploited me long enough and I refuse to let you continue."

  "I'll have you exiled, Paladin." Maxson threatened. "One word from me and your status goes up in smoke. We are on the brink of war with the Institute and you wish to weaken our ranks? You're a good soldier, Danse. Don't make me send you away."

  Danse shook his head. His hands, clasped at the small of his back, trembled nervously until he clenched them into fists. "I'm sorry, Elder Maxson, but I refuse to allow you to manipulate or abuse me any further." 

  "Are you disobeying a direct order from your elder, Danse?" 

  "I am simply-"

  A knock on the door to Maxson's quarters interrupted whatever Danse had intended to say, and a split second later Knight Vega poked her head around the door. "Apologies, Elder Maxson." The woman said with a salute. "I was unaware that you two were having a discussion. Paladin, we are departing in ten minutes."

  Arthur jerked his head to the side to indicate that Elizabeth should leave. " Get out , Vega." He barked. 

  She hesitated and Danse closed his eyes in defeat, knowing that he was screwed the second she departed.

  He heard the door close and Arthur was abruptly on him, one hand gripping the paladin's throat to force Danse's head against the wall as he tore at the zipper of the other man's jumpsuit. "You are going to fuck me, Danse, so I suggest you warm up to the idea." Maxson hissed against his ear.

  Danse felt nauseous, dirty as Arthur pawed at him. Say no, damn it! What's wrong with you?

  The only warning either man got was a barely-audible knock on the door before Paladin Brandis barged in. Arthur whirled on the older man, murder in his eyes for the barest second. " Brandis! " Maxson roared. "How many-"

  "I have sixteen new aspirants seeking to rise to knight or scribe, Elder Maxson!" Brandis waved a sheaf of papers at the younger man. "I also have seven squires who believe they are ready for evaluation to ascend to aspirant. Oh, was I interrupting something?" He remarked, blinking in a befuddled manner at the clearly-furious elder.

  Maxson stared back at the older paladin, his chest heaving. "Don't think for one goddamn second that I don't know exactly what you're up to, you old fool!" Arthur's blue eyes were fairly crackling with rage. 

  "Me? The only thing I'm up to is trying to get this paperwork taken care of." Brandis protested blandly. "You're so suspicious , Maxson. It won't do you any favors." Brandis seemed to finally notice Danse standing there slackjawed and the older paladin began to scold, "zip up your uniform, Danse! We're a military , not a frathouse!" His eyebrows raised, all but begging Danse to take the opening and flee.

  Danse gulped and floundered to apologize, zipping up his suit. He caught the barest glimpse of Maxson's thunderous glare before he turned tail and bolted. The cowardice burned at him, but really, what else could he do?

  He shouldered past Vega lurking just outside the door, and stormed down the catwalk to the grease pit without a word.

  Their aerial approach to the Glowing Sea was silent and riddled with turbulence. Danse could identify the territory of the area from a fair distance away, the way the radiation tinged the sky to a sinister yellowed bruise a sure indication.

  Waypoint Echo was precariously positioned on the very edge of the Glowing Sea. Danse felt a fair amount of trepidation as he and Knight Vega approached the area after they disembarked the vertibird. He had never ventured into the Glowing Sea, but he supposed there was no time like the present.

  He was glad to at least find a familiar face, although Haylen didn't appear happy to see him and Vega. The scribe looked tense, wary. Danse supposed he could understand that; the post was much less than favorably placed. They were only just outside the heavy haze of radiation, and the radstorms weren't inclined to remain stationary for too long. To say nothing of the deadly creatures that tended to emerge from the area and wander north. Waypoint Echo was not a hospitable assignment by any stretch of the imagination. 

  His scribe had never searched for the easy jobs. Danse felt a wave of pride for the woman he had sponsored back when she was nothing but an initiate. Haylen had rolled with the punches and become an admirable scribe, a loyal friend and an incredible asset to any team she joined. "Scribe Haylen!" He greeted her warmly with a salute. "Ad Victoriam. Another day, another assignment."

  "Paladin Danse," Haylen addressed him through gritted teeth, oddly not returning his salute. "Can I get a word with you before you depart? It's urgent." She was already grabbing his arm before he even nodded, the scribe leading him away from the camp. Knight Vega was listening intently while the other field scribe briefed her on their current situation and any observations they might have made.

  "Scribe Haylen, is something amiss?" The paladin asked, a little concerned once Haylen had moved him out of earshot of the encampment. 

  The petite woman whirled on him, looking more furious than Danse had ever seen her. " How could you not tell me?" She hissed. 

  Danse stared at her, bewildered. "I...what do you mean, Haylen?"

  "Don't play dumb with me, Danse! Quinlan got the list decoded. He knows . Maxson knows. Hell, maybe even Vega knows! Maybe she's leading you into a trap right now." Haylen took hold of his gauntlet once more. "Danse, you have to run ."

  "Haylen, I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." Danse replied, thoroughly puzzled. What would Quinlan decoding the Institute information have to do with him?  

  Haylen's fingernails scraped at the worn red-orange paint denoting his rank as she gripped down even tighter. "Danse, you...do you really not…" she appeared to be trying to ask something, but couldn't seem to amass the words.

  "Take your time. Get your mind straight." Danse said kindly. "Whatever it is, I'll hear you out."

  She sobbed suddenly, her small frame rattled by the outburst. "Oh Danse , I'm so sorry." She whispered.

  …

  Backhand lingered on the edge of the camp, half-watching Haylen appear to argue with the paladin about something. Trouble in paradise? she wondered, turning the distress pulser for their endeavor over in her hands before she tucked it away in her satchel. 

  "Man, I guess whatever Rhys passed along to her earlier really has her in a twist." One of the other scribes commented. "I dunno' if I've ever seen her this heated."

  Danse thundered back towards the camp, leaving Haylen to call his name plaintively. "Ready to continue our mission, soldier?" He gritted the words out at Backhand. 

  Backhand raised an eyebrow at his sudden change of mood, but then recalled what she had interrupted earlier that morning and reasoned that he had more than every right to be a little testy. The woman simply nodded and fell into step behind him. "See you guys soon!" She said to the soldiers occupying Echo, waving in farewell. Haylen didn't wave back, the scribe looking wholly dejected. 

  Was she crying?

  "Hey Danse, is Haylen alright? She seemed upset." Backhand inquired after they had been walking for several minutes.

  "We had a discussion." was all Danse said in reply. His tone didn't exactly encourage further questioning, so Backhand decided that she should probably, maybe , just this once, not attempt to converse.

  "Sorry, didn't mean to pry." She mumbled. 

  "I'm certain you didn't. But we can't afford to be distracted on this mission." Danse instructed firmly. "There's too much at stake, Knight Vega."

  "Oh, absolutely!" Backhand agreed. 

  "I need you to take point during this engagement, as you're the one who knows where we're going." Danse paused, letting her come up alongside him. "We can't lose sight of what's important. If we do, the Institute has already won." 

  The paladin, in spite of his words, seemed out of sorts. Spacey , even. His grip on his rifle was uncharacteristically slack, especially considering how hostile their environment was. 

  Backhand was reminded of his behavior during their search for Brandis and she said as much, prodding the paladin to respond. "I'm fine. Just...thinking," he muttered. "I apologize, I'm not very good at following my own orders. I lecture you on distraction while also being distracted."

  "After this campaign is over, I vote for a little R and R. The proverbial run ashore. Sound good to you?" Backhand asked, tilting her head.

  Danse cleared his throat. "I wish I had your optimism." He said plainly. "Once the Institute hears we have these munitions, assuming the bombs are even here in the first place, it will be all-out war. I'm not so foolish to think they'll surrender or melt back into the shadows under the threat of our superior firepower. They will demand a live test." The paladin gestured vaguely around him at the blasted landscape. "I know for a fact that Maxson won't stop until the Institute is nothing but a fractured husk. The idea that there are innocent people down there, good people who will be slaughtered with the bad…" He shook his head. 

  "It's sobering." Backhand murmured in agreement, not sure why she was surprised by the paladin's display of humanity. She had been in and out of the Institute over the last few weeks, building a rapport with the various scientists and synths and also passing along pertinent information to the Brotherhood. All the while Shaun pressured her to take over his position, " before I am gone, Mother. " She hadn't known that Danse was actually listening to her field reports.

  "It's grotesque entrapment. People who wanted a better life, people who wanted to help the world, people who thought they were helping." Danse sounded disgusted and strangely upset. "Bodies snatched in the middle of the night, or lured in by the lie of bettering mankind!" He had turned to her as he ranted, his pauldrons rising and falling rapidly from the force of his body against the frame of his armor. "He's your son , Vega, how could he--"

  "He's not my son anymore." Backhand cut him off, stung by his heated words. "The man who leads the Institute may be related to me through biology, but he is not my son, Paladin Danse." She heaved a sigh, looking away. "I guess he really never was, in a way. His father...his father told me he wanted children. Once I got pregnant, though, it was like the reality of it became too much for him." Her laugh was a sad noise, mirthless and hollow. "And if he thought it was too much, imagine how I felt. I didn't really have a lot of agency in the matter, I just wanted to make him happy and when I realized that not even that could make him happy, I kind of lost it. Hence the divorce and stuff. I loved that baby more than anything in the world, but I know that I wasn't a great mom. I was in way over my head. Scared. Terrified . Alone. And then...then he was taken from me. Just like that."

  "Knight Vega, I...forgive my outburst, please. I didn't mean to imply that any of this is your fault." Danse mumbled. "I simply...I-I mean, I see you, the way you interact with the people of the Commonwealth, and I can't wrap my head around the fact that someone even tangentially related to you could be capable of such...heinous machinations."

  "I'm a byproduct of the Great War, Paladin Danse." Backhand smiled thinly. "A relic from times of pretend plenty. The Institute raised Shaun, shaped him into their perfect leader. He doesn't understand the struggles of the real world. He can't understand the ugliness of war, not like how someone who lived through it can." 

  "You would think the perfect leader would want what's best for his troops." Danse remarked.

  "He's dying , Danse. The only reason he thawed me out again is because he's dying, and the Institute wanted me to take over." Backhand confided, scoffing a little. "Can you even believe that shit? His board of directors really thought my altruistic, bleeding-heart ass would take over their body-snatching extravaganza. Hell, they seem confused every time I tell them to fuck off."

  "You turned them down?" 

  The bewilderment in his tone caught Backhand by surprise. " Yeah , Danse. Obviously."

  "The promise of returning the Commonwealth to its former glory wasn't enough to sway you?" The paladin queried, his voice laden with that rare sarcasm he employed. 

  Backhand chuckled wryly. "Did you forget the part where I've seen the Commonwealth at the peak of that former glory? It wasn't better. It was just a little less irradiated." She thumped her pauldron against his own after a moment. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? No matter what happens, we'll get through this and enjoy that sweet off-time." She promised. "I know you can't see, but I'm definitely smiling under here."

  "I can tell." Danse lapsed into contemplative silence, and Backhand wished she could see his expression. Something, anything to clue her in as to what he was thinking about. 

  They passed a crashed plane, the trail of wreckage from it extending well past Backhand's limited field of view. Danse tuned into its distress signal like a reflex, and Backhand half-listened to the mayday broadcast of Skylanes one-six-six-five. 

  "... left engine failure, we're out fifteen three at this time …"

  The plane had been coming in the day the bombs dropped. Due to its location in the Glowing Sea, Backhand could only assume no one had survived. She almost wanted to ask Danse to turn off the broadcast, but the signal quickly petered back out into static as they carefully descended the ridge past the plane.

  The shattered remains of sparse buildings jutted from the caustic ground like the incisors of a gargantuan beast, offering a semblance of shelter only to roving feral ghouls or ambitious mole rats.

  It was a man-made hellscape, awe inspiring in its grim misery, and Backhand felt like she understood Danse's taciturn mood a bit better now.

  Abruptly, a towering monolith was brought into sharp contrast against the green sky by a sullen flash of lightning. Backhand swallowed, unnerved by the stark stone structure that loomed up out of the wan light like a dark pyramid to a forgotten, terrible deity.

  She tried to shake off her fanciful thoughts, scolding herself for being so easily influenced. This wasn't some silly story, some maniac rumination on the subject of doomed expeditions and places where man shouldn't go. This was just one more thing that humanity had built.

  "And here we are." She announced needlessly. "You ready?"

  "My power armor is within nominal parameters, so I would say I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Danse replied simply. 

  Working together, they muscled the double doors open and cautiously made their way into the pyramid-like structure. Backhand grimaced at the bank vault-esque door that greeted them, raising an eyebrow and cocking her helmet at Danse. "I'll bet...fifty caps that I can just give this a spin and it'll bust wide open." She said confidently, resting a gauntlet on the handle.

  "Nice try, Vega." The paladin replied, his tone dry and humorless. "Don't forget we have a job to do."

  Vega grumbled to herself and spun the handle, watching the ancient tumblers creak and separate before the door slowly swung inwards. "Bingo." She breathed, stepping gingerly out onto the old catwalk. "Shit, it looks like ArcJet in here."

  "Remarkably similar." Danse agreed. "Be very cautious about what you shoot in here, we don't know what will explode. And remember to check your corners. I don't want to lose you to something we don't see." 

  Backhand swallowed hard, saluting while inclining her head to indicate that she received and returned the order. "Ad Victoriam, Paladin Danse."

  "Ad Victoriam, Knight Vega." 

  Silence hanging heavy in the air, Vega plodded down the rickety stairs of the catwalk. She briefly debated just hopping the railing and taking the plunge, but ultimately decided against it. The stiff gusts of wind from the door had stirred the centuries of dust into a thick haze, and warning lights still spiraled in amber circles, casting disorienting shadows over everything.

  "It would appear that this facility was converted into a launching silo as well." Danse commented, gesturing at the large gantry-like structure that took up the majority of space in the middle of the pyramid. 

  Down, down, down they went, past multiple security doors. Feral ghouls rose to greet them, some still clad in the tattered remains of army fatigues. 

  "I've had nightmares like this." Backhand admitted during a brief moment of reprieve while she painstakingly tapped away at the keys of a terminal. "Sergeant Cathan and the rest of my squadron turn into ferals and I have to put them down." Danse's heavy gauntlet landed on her pauldron, squeezed once, and then departed. "I know it's dumb to be worried about. They've been dead for…" Vega trailed off, finally getting the double blast doors open and turning off the weakly buzzing alarm in the same stroke. " That's it." She said in relief. 

  Danse took point during this secondary half of the expedition, the paladin staying unusually quiet. Backhand chalked it up to him focusing more on his targets, lest a stray laser hit one of the caged warheads. 

  Down into the bowels of Prescott they trudged, soldiering onwards through tunnels made tight by the bulk of their power armor. The headlamp on Danse's new helmet illuminated the cramped, half-collapsed areas as he scanned from three to nine and back again.

  "Left up here." Backhand broke the silence, directing him through a hole in the wall to circumvent a rubble-filled dead end and then overtaking him when he paused to check his rifle. "We should still be able to pick up the tunnel around this junk."

  "Affirmative." Danse replied shortly. "I would advise that we not attempt to clear any debris. We don't know what will collapse on us."

  Vega grimaced, "good point. That's why you're the paladin." Oddly, he made a scoffing sound, but she dismissed it as him being sarcastic again.

  When the tunnel finally opened up into an enormous room, Vega breathed a little easier. Ahead of them loomed a massive set of red double doors, tarnished with age but still holding strong. What appeared to be a control room was situated over the doors, and Backhand quickly spotted the stairs that would lead her upwards.

  The body sprawled across the top of the stairs gave her pause, however. It wasn't a feral ghoul, but a Child Of Atom. Backhand glanced up to the door to the control room, then back down at the body. 

  Up. Down. Up again.

  And she continued over the body, one massive gauntlet knocking comically gentle on the door.

  "Enter." Intoned a voice from inside the room. Behind her, she heard Danse's rifle hum as he primed it.

  " Easy , cowboy. Let me see if I can get this settled peacefully." Backhand whispered. She had no idea whether Danse had heard her or not, but she prayed he had as she set sabaton into the room. 

  The Children Of Atom had always been a ragged-looking bunch, their lives dedicated to the pursuit of " the Glow " and worship of what they called " the Great Divide ". This man was no exception, though the room was also occupied by a turret and assaultron. Two things no one wanted to deal with in close quarters.

  "Halt, stranger. You stand upon Atom's sacred ground." The religious fanatic announced grandly. "Speak your business or be divided where you stand."

  Backhand mused over her reply for a moment, finally stating, "we seek the Glow of Atom, my uh, brother ."

  " You? " The man scoffed, "you, who slaughtered Atom's most faithful as you stormed this compound?"

  "We sought to release them to Atom's embrace. Return them to the universe to be...divided anew. After all, matter cannot be created or destroyed, only repurposed," Vega replied smoothly, "as dictated by the Law of Conservation of Mass, writ by his most holy eminence Antoine Lavoisier." 

  "Ah, I see you are a scholar of the sacred texts as well!" The man remarked, a smile crossing his stern features. "Forgive my ignorance, sister. When I saw your armor, I feared that you came to destroy this holy ground." Backhand blinked behind her helmet. That had been strictly high school science bullshit, but she would take the victory. "I assume you wish to bask in Atom's Glow then, as one of his faithful?"

  "We seek to spread Atom's glory via the use of these munitions." Backhand explained. "Our organization requires these vehicles to distribute Atom's might. Please, permit us to utilize them."

  "You will put them to good use? That is all we can ask for!" The Child Of Atom's eyes filled with tears of what Vega could only assume was gratitude. "I had thought we would stand guard over this holy ground for all of time. Please, take this and prepare to enter His inner sanctum." He took her gauntlet and pressed a scrap of paper into it, gesturing at the worn-looking terminal on the table beside the sputtering turret. "Follow the brilliance of the Glow, and it shall lead you to the relics. May Atom's radiance warm your soul." He breathed, those teary blue eyes focused on the visor of her helm. 

  Vega inclined her head respectfully, praying that Danse would stand aside and let the man depart without a fight. Clearly she needn't have worried; the paladin obligingly shifted the bulk of his armor out of the way so the religious zealot could leave the room peacefully. 

  "' His most holy eminence' ?" Danse repeated, his tone wry. "You certainly have a gift, Knight Vega." 

  Backhand grinned under her helmet, reading the password off the scrap of paper and then carefully punching it into the terminal. "What can I say? A little diplomacy and a healthy sprinkling of mumbo-jumbo goes a long way." With a simple keystroke, the massive doors creaked open. The woman bowed as best as she could in her armor. "Shall we?" 

  Danse appeared to have returned to his silence, simply nodding and walking back out of the room.

  What's gotten into him? Backhand wondered.

Part Thirteen

[aal-archaeology]

Words from a so-far successful archaeologist (25 years old/recent Ph.D. admit)

Hello Everyone!  I have revived my Tumblr to find many messages asking “what do I do next” when it comes to Archaeology/Anthropology. So I thought I’d create a post explaining what I went through to get to where I am now, and hopefully give some information to those who are pondering on the next steps to take in this truly wonderful field of study.  Quick academic about me: 

Undergrad: Ivy League, Major: Anthropology-Geography, Minor: Religion

After Undergrad: 1 year of Cultural Resource Management (CRM) & Substitute teaching

Graduate School: England MSc in Archaeological Information Systems

After Graduate: 10-month long research grant in Cambodia

Now: (USA)  Ph.D. Candidate in Anthropology, Archaeology Track

I come from a low-middle class family, all of my academics have been funded through financial aid or through grants that I’ve applied for. A lot of the time school and research can get expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to be wealthy to pursue it!

Per usual, please feel free to DM me at any point with questions (here or IG @ aal.archaeology), I’m always happy to help to the best of my ability. Success in this field is really dependent on networking!

I’ll set this up based on the various landmarks of my academic career: 

1. Undergrad

Themes: Ask for help, build your resume, write down everything

No matter where you are going to school, it is so so so important to use the resources around you. Becoming a professor is HARD work, and each one of your professors went through a lot to be able to stand in front of you and teach you. They’ve likely had years and years of research experience, which is probably still happening behind the scenes of teaching and grading papers. More often than not, professors want to help you, they want students to be excited about the research they’ve worked so hard on, and they want to do what they can to help you achieve your career goals.  Therefore, if there’s a class you’ve taken or a professor whose research you’re interested in, tell them. This is how I got my first experience with archaeology (before I even knew that I wanted to do archaeology). I randomly took an Anthropology class that sounded cool, and after the first class, I was like WOW I love this topic so much and I really want to know more about it. I went up to the professor that was teaching it, told her I was really interested and asked if she knew of any research opportunities available. She then hired me as a student researcher in her lab to do data entry for one of her archaeological projects in Mesoamerica, and after working for her for a few months, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and her team to Mexico for fieldwork. 

         (my timeline at this point: 19 years old, end of Sophomore year)

From this experience, I learned how to apply to grants within the University and funding outside of the University, and was able to FULLY fund my research experience in Mexico. During this fieldwork, I got to work with 3000-year-old artifacts, do archaeoillustration, and eventually got my own chapter published in the book that my professor wrote about the research that was done.

After I got back from Mexico, I started exploring archaeology further. A new professor entered the department who specialized in “digital archaeology,” and his research involved tracking looting patters in Syria using satellite imagery. I thought this was crazy so I then went up to him and asked if I could help him with his research. (the common theme throughout this entire process is just asking for help). From this experience, I learned that I loved the possibilities that technology brought to the study of archaeology, everything from 3D modeling to identification of sites in satellite imagery to spatial mapping in GIS. With this professor, I was able to form an “internship” with him, and continued doing that and other minor projects within the department. I ended up modifying my major to incorporate coursework from the Geography department and created my own “Digital Archaeology” major.

        (my timeline at this point: 22 years old, Senior year)

As graduation began to creep closer, I had been able to get a good amount of lines on my resume. I had:

research assistant/ data entry

fieldwork in mesoamerica

x2 internships with digital archaeology prof

multiple “small” projects around the department i.e. making posters, painting 3D prints of bones,

all of the coursework I had done on GIS/ relevant digital experience

started a drone club at my school (it flopped, but it still counts as a line on the resume!)

All of these lines became useful when starting to think of jobs and the “next step”

UNDERGRAD HIGHLIGHTS & TAKEAWAYS:

Ask for help, your professors are there for a reason, it will almost always lead you to new opportunities. These relationships last well beyond your graduation and definitely come in handy later, make it count!

Write down EVERYTHING that you do. Did you help out with a conference? Write it down. Did you do a couple hours of data entry? Write it down.

Follow your leads! I started my anth journey in Mesoamerica and ended my undergrad in Near Easter digital archaeology (and I entered college wanting to do astronomy?). Change is natural, let it happen.  

2. Gap Year Between Undergrad and Grad School

Highlights: Job applications, field school, CRM, uncertainty

Something that I was always told during my undergrad was that you really need to do a field school and some CRM to be taken seriously post-grad. This shows that you actually want to be an archaeologist outside of the classroom environment. Field Schools and CRM give you valuable experience such as: excavation methodology, report writing, grant applications, teamwork, leadership, etc. 

I started applying for jobs probably about 5 months before I graduated and ended up securing a job at a CRM company in LA. They liked how much I had done during my undergrad, but they really wanted me to have a field school under my belt before I started working for them. Because I had already graduated and didn’t need course credit, I was able to do my field school at a discounted price (these things really do get expensive, and this was a difference of about $2k). I think this worked out in my favor waiting until the summer after I graduated because it saved me a lot of money in the end. 

After my field school was done, I started work that September in CRM. This job ended up being nothing like what I thought it would be, to be honest. I was an Archaeological Field Technician that was part-time/on-call, meaning I only got work when they needed someone to go monitor a construction site. I only got work once every month, sometimes every couple of months, so I was making hardly any money. I realized this quickly and decided to become a substitute teacher to supplement the CRM job. I HIGHLY recommend doing this if you end up in the same situation. Not only does subbing fill up all of your non-working days, but it also gives you the flexibility to choose when you can work and gives you teaching experience that you can put on your resume. That CRM experience can be really important, so it’s good to stick it out long enough to quit.

      Why didn’t I like CRM? For me, my job was very sparse, included driving long hours to a construction site, sitting there all day in case archaeological material popped up, and then driving home. Sometimes it was just walking back and forth across a massive field full of cow poop looking for arrowheads, and often it felt like I was just clearing land so that a big building could be erected. I was really missing the research component to all of it. The pay was also not great. 

GAP YEAR HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

What I got from this year was very valuable, even though it wasn’t necessarily that fun, however. 

I got the experience I needed in CRM

I got some teaching experience (also volunteered to mentor clubs and research at local high schools during this time)

I started doing some networking (I found some alumni that were doing work that I wanted to be doing and reached out to them)

and most importantly, I realized that I really do love school and wanted to go back for my Masters

So I started looking into Masters's programs. This is kind of a scary thing especially in the US because school is expensive. I still really wanted to do Digital Archaeology, and I couldn’t find a single program in the US had a focus in this topic, and especially couldn’t find one that I was willing to pay for. 

The UK, however, had plenty of Digital Archaeology programs, and the programs were only a year long and a fraction of the price in the US. I decided to take a chance and apply, got in, and then suddenly I was moving to England. (in hindsight I really didn’t spend much time at all making this decision, but it worked out in the end). 

3. Masters Program

         (my timeline at this point: 23-24 years old)

I chose the program I applied to based on its focus on the techniques that I wanted to use, namely, remote sensing, GIS, and 3D modeling. I really wanted a degree qualification that spoke for itself, and therefore applied for an MSc in “Archaeological Information Systems.” 

I had done some networking during my gap year and connected with an alumnus who was doing research in Cambodia using digital methods, and she offered me the opportunity to join her fieldwork. I agreed to join her in Cambodia during my degree, and also applied for a research grant for the year following my master's degree to continue fieldwork in Cambodia. 

I used this opportunity to fuel my dissertation topic and focused all of my writing and coursework throughout my grad school experience around Cambodia. While I was surrounded by people studying Roman architecture and Medieval Studies, I spent my time doing independent work and building a network in Cambodia. 

This program was a great experience for the most part, I was surrounded by beautiful medieval architecture and had a great community throughout. I personally didn’t really like the UK school system compared to what I had received in the US, however. This was largely because of the way coursework was set up. (If you want to know more just DM me).

MASTERS HIGHLIGHTS AND TAKEAWAYS:

Follow networking opportunities, and find someone doing what you want to do (or close to it) and let them help you take the steps to get there

If you’re going to do grad school, do it in something you know you love. Don’t waste money on a program that isn’t right for you.

Make sure that the program you apply to allows for flexibility so that you can do research on what YOU want, not what THEY want.

Halfway through my Master's degree, I received word that I had been accepted for the research grant (Fulbright) and would spend the next year living in Cambodia doing independent research.

4. Gap Year Between Masters Program and PhD

If you’re planning on a Ph.D., I think its a really good idea to do something before applying that relates to what you want to be studying. This shows that you’re dedicated to your research and to a life in academia, and have the ability to produce something from your work. 

My master's degree was nice because 1) it was short, only a year-long, and 2) allowed me to focus research on what I was interested in. This gave me the experience I needed to lead into a year of independent research.

This year of independent research was definitely contingent on receiving the grant in the first place, and I think that I would have started job searching again had I not received it. However, the small things I did leading up to applying for it really helped in qualifying me to receive it. 

     I had:

All of the undergraduate research experience

CRM experience

teaching experience

fieldwork experience

a master’s degree that focused on the region 

established a network of people in the country beforehand

a couple “publications” from fieldwork 

This grant fully funds me living in Cambodia, and has allowed me to participate in cultural exchange with some amazing people here in addition to allowing me to partake in archaeological fieldwork across the country. 

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is to network. If you like something, find someone else who likes the same thing, send them an email.

Networking got me my experience in Mesoamerica, Digital Archaeology, my CRM job, my research experience in Cambodia, and so so much more. All because I sent that first email.

5. PhD Applications

I applied to 1 school. I got in. Its a really good school. I’m still in shock. 

However, I think I really did set myself up for success in this one. 

The biggest advice I can give in the world of Academia is:

NETWORK

Talking to people who have gone through what you’re going through are the BEST help. They can mentor you through these experiences, offer you new opportunities, or lead you in the direction of someone else who can help.

PLAN AHEAD (but be open to change)

Okay, so you’re applying to grad school. What do you want to focus on while you’re there? What do you want to do with the degree when you’re done? Do you want to start working? Do you want to do more research? What opportunities are out there for research funding? What is the job market looking for? Is there anyone in my network that can help me get there?

None of these have to be concrete plans, they just have to exist in some shape or form so that you have the ability to latch on to one when the opportunity arises.

If you’re doing something that you love doing, you’ll find a way to make it happen. All opportunity comes from the amount of effort you put into getting it! Thanks for reading and best of luck on your studies! Also Happy Anthropology Day! :)  -Lyss 

[ryqoshay]

Tri-Arame: Take the Lead Right

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~1.4k Rating: T with my signature implied off camera M finish Time Frame: First year of college? Maybe second? Dunno yet Story Arc: Stand Alone

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Author’s Note: I really do intend to write some scenes for my other fics, honest. But a, I can’t help where my µ’s muse leads and b, I checked a few versions of the ship tag last time and found the results... lacking.

Also, the link to the inspiration for this scene will be in the followup post.

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“Mmm… that was so~ good…” Yuu leaned back and let out a content sigh. “Setsuna-chan and I are becoming a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen.” She grinned. “Maybe someday we’ll be as good as you, Ayumu.”

“I think you may already be there.” Ayumu said, raising her last bite as if to toast the idea.

Setsuna shook her head. “No, I believe Ayumu-san is still the best cook among us.” She offered a smile to the blushing redhead before picking up her plate.

“I’ll take that.” Ayumu said, reaching over. “You two made dinner, so I’ll clean up.”

“You sure?” Yuu asked.

Ayumu nodded. “I should be done before the episode airs if one of you wants to set things up.” With that said, she stacked the three plates and moved everything over to the sink.

As she began washing, Ayumu couldn’t help glancing over regularly toward the others. She enjoyed watching Setsuna’s excitement as she unlocked Ayumu’s laptop and brought up the streaming site. It came as no surprise that a moment later, sounds from the previous episode started coming out of the speakers as the anime addicted girl skimmed through it for a review.

For her part, Yuu remained in her prior position. From there, she could see the screen, but like Ayumu, she seemed more content with watching Setsuna.

“Ne, do you think we have enough time to make tea?” Yuu suddenly asked after a few minutes.

“Probably.” Ayumu responded. “Want me to put on the kettle?

“I’ll get it.” The twin-tailed girl bounced up. “Anyone else want some?”

“Yes, please.” The redhead nodded.

“Setsuna-chan?” Yuu asked.

“Mm?” The raven-haired girl startled from her review session and looked up.

“Tea?”

“Oh, yes, sorry, yes, thank you, please.” Despite where her gaze was directed, her attention was obviously still on the show.

Yuu laughed lightly and moved to the kitchen to fill the kettle. Not long after, Ayumu finished with the dishes and headed back to the kotatsu. However, instead of taking her usual spot on her own side, she settled in directly next to the girl already there. For her part, Setsuna glanced over and offered a quick smile.

Once the tea was ready, Yuu brought it out to the table and sat down on the other side of Setsuna from Ayumu. It was almost perfectly timed as Setsuna was ready to switch tabs, refresh and begin streaming the newly uploaded episode. Finally settled, the trio, crowded comfortably together, began to watch.

As far as Ayumu was concerned, the anime in question was yet another high fantasy with powerful heroes, dastardly villains and a decidedly contrived romantic subplot. But Setsuna was utterly obsessed with it, having collected the entire manga set, several hard copies of popular doujinshi, a few posters and even figures of two main heroines. And Yuu was quite enthusiastic about the series as well, though nowhere near Setsuna’s level.

As such, it was more her girlfriends’ passion for the series that interested Ayumu than the anime itself, but she paid attention nonetheless so she could participate in the conversations that would inevitably follow the ending credits. Tonight’s episode was particularly important as it was the season finale.

And befitting of a season finale of such a series, the action was packed to the brim as the heroes confronted the villain. Still, despite the visual spectacle, Ayumu stole many glances over to her girlfriends to observe their riveted attention. But when the big bad was finally defeated and the storyline began to wrap up, Ayumu expected the other two to relax a little. Except they didn’t. Both Yuu and Setsuna continued to stare, almost unblinking at the screen.

Were they expecting something else to happ… Oh…

“Awww~…” Setsuna, unsurprisingly, was the one to vocalize her reaction as the protagonist confessed her feelings to the heroine who had fought by her side for so long.

The scene was a sweet and fitting culmination of everything that had happened between the them, but Ayumu couldn’t help feeling like things could have been handled better. Early development had felt awkward and forced and it had taken more than a couple episodes before Ayumu could agree the two had chemistry. It was quite different from the angelic doujin Setsuna loved so mu…

Eh?

Ayumu blinked as something soft pressed gently against her cheek. And as quickly and unexpectedly as it had come, it was gone. She turned her head just in time to catch Setsuna leaning over to peck a kiss on Yuu’s cheek as well. Then, with a blossoming blush, Setsuna settled back down and began fidgeting with the hem of her shorts.

Cute. By the gods was that cute. But… is Setsuna-chan really satisfied with just that much?

Ayumu was all too aware that Setsuna maintained a fear of pushing her desires onto others. It was why she refused to take any sort of official leadership role within their school idol club when it reformed, despite the other members respecting her knowledge concerning idols and regularly turning to her for advice. Ayumu assumed this was also why Setsuna seldom was the one to offer invites for her friends to join her in shopping for anime merchandise, even after the three of them had a fairly well-established tradition of going together. She would sooner go by herself than believe she was inconveniencing a friend with her own desires.

And while Setsuna had become fairly open with hugs and holding hands, this felt different. Very different. And Ayumu was more than a little intrigued. And she wished she could give voice to her thoughts and tell Setsuna that it was alright to desire such things from her girlfriends as they were more than willing to participate.

“Setsuna-chan.” Yuu broke the quite among them.

“Y-yes?” Setsuna sputtered in response. “Wh-what is it, Y…?” She was cutoff as Yuu leaned in and pressed her lips against hers.

Something twisted within Ayumu. Apparently, she wasn’t just intrigued…

“Hah…” Setsuna breathed as the two parted. Her head wobbled a bit as her expression became dazed.

Yuu chuckled. “If you want to take the lead, you should at least go that far.”

“R-right…” Setsuna pouted as her blush deepened.

More. Ayumu also wanted more than just a peck on the cheek, and more than that.

Of course, that would mean she would be the one taking the lead at this point. Ayumu understood Setsuna’s reluctance to push beyond where she had left off. And it didn’t help that Yuu had teased her about the times she had given in fully to her desires and done whatever had been necessary to satiate them.

But who could blame her for giving into the temptation provided by not just one, but two irresistible girlfriends? And now, tensions were obviously mounting among them, Setsuna was adorably flustered, and Yuu was sitting with a smirk that made Ayumu want to wipe it off her face with her lips. Of course, her desires would be boiling over at this point.

Oh, to heck with it. Let Yuu tease her later, she could be embarrassed then. If neither Yuu nor Setsuna were going to do anything else, Ayumu would.

Setsuna jumped with surprise as Ayumu placed her hand on her cheek and guided her into a kiss.

Yuu giggled. “Looks like Ayumu can go that far.”

Though the teasing was likely directed more at Setsuna, Ayumu felt the need to respond as she pulled away a little.

“But why only stop there, Yuu-chan?” The redhead murmured before trailing a few kisses across Setsuna’s cheek. She smiled as the raven-haired girl shivered when her teeth grazed her ear. “Why not go even farther?”

“That’s a good point.” The green-tipped girl conceded.

“Ayumu-san… Yuu-s-Ah!” Setsuna gasped as Yuu joined in.

As Ayumu made her way down Setsuna’s neck, she placed a hand on her shoulder and began to guide her down. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted that the credits were rolling for the anime stream and made a mental note to apologize to Setsuna for making her miss the last few minutes, as well as delaying the post-credit discussion.

As for that conversation, Setsuna could take the lead for it as that was one place where she excelled. And perhaps someday she might have the confidence to take the lead right in the trio’s current activities.

However, for the time being, Ayumu knew that if her desires were to be fully sated, she would have to be the one to forget her reservations and progress things. It wasn’t easy, but…

Setsuna whimpered.

Yuu moaned.

… or… perhaps maybe it was…

----------

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[elenatria]

OKAY BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE WE NEED ALL THE DETAILS OF WHERE, WHEN AND HOW YOU MET THE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

I still haven’t processed everything, not because I’m starstruck that I saw Stellan for 3,5 seconds but because it was a miracle that it even happened. So this is not a “Stellan made me feel like a queen for five minutes” story (there was no time for that), it’s a “setting an impossible goal and achieving it” type of story. 

 @alyeen1 and I were discussing Stellan attending the Gothenburg festival back in January, and I was lamenting the fact that, despite learning about it three weeks in advance, the beginning of the new year had left me broke. I was totally regretting not having the money for that trip and Alyeen1 and I were comforting each other, making “what if” scenarios for the veeeery distant future, like “hey, don’t you guys have the Berlinale...? What if Stellan attended the festival for one of his new films...? Just an idea.”

Not long after that, Google alerts notified me on “Hope”, Stellan’s new film, having its European premiere there. Talking of getting my wish granted right away, I mean I had talked to talk, now I had to walk the walk, right? I’ve never taken such a big decision on such short notice - super scary, super urgent.

“Soooooo is Stellan coming?” was the obvious question. There was no way for us to know. We started spamming the Berlinale people with emails until someone pointed at the right direction, the film’s PR agent who said that the cast would be attending the premiere. Then @stellan-pip-69 suggested I should ask Andrea Bræin Hovig herself, Stellan’s co-star in “Hope”. Andrea is a total sweetheart, she answered right away and said that they would indeed be there. I mean, I couldn’t possibly be taking two days off work, spending four days and 500 euro on a whim no matter how much I love Berlin. 

However, we had no further info on where exactly Stellan would be. What we did know according to the Berlinale site was the time and place of “Hope”’s press conference and premiere. Thank god for Alyeen, the Valoris fandom’s resident Berliner, who had bought tickets for “Hope”s screening at the box office.

One day before the screening we were making plans and thinking of routes and timetables, and also we gained some experience from Hildur Guðnadóttir’s talk (who is an absolute darling as you can tell from her vids and acceptance speeches). 

See, after Hildur’s event we waited for her in the cold rain for about an hour and realized it’s not enough to be there early enough or to know which exit the celeb will use, or to run fast enough to get to them first: we also had to deal with autograph hunters who were bigger, stronger than us, outnumbering us, pushing us aside to get dozens of autographs signed by Hildur. They were pushy and persistent and had control over the situation, over what Hildur signed and for whom. Giving me permission to get  that selfie with her. It was almost nightmarish. 

After that, and as we dragged our feet back to the subway soaking wet, we were dwelling in despair and uncertainty. There was no way we could fight off guys who were doing this for a living. And what if Stellan had HUNDREDS of fans screaming his name? What if Stellan lost his patience with all those autographs he had to sign, like Hildur lost hers?

However, I got a glimpse of hope while waiting for the metro when I thought... “You know what? We’ve come so far. We’re doing everything right. We even rehearsed our moves, elbowing people and stomping on toes and screaming Stellan’s name as loud as we can to get his attention. We’re even willing to camp outside the fucking press conference hotel. We can’t possibly fail.”

But for all our meticulous planning, I was responsible for an almost-failure because of my delay the following morning. Remember what Stellan said? Never be late. Never ever. 

So, although my goal was to be at the press conference almost an hour and a half before, we got there only an hour before. That almost cost us everything.

Alyeen knows her way around Berlin and she knew the hotel had various entrances and exits, not just one. Lo and behold, as we approached it from the side, we noticed the road was closed and alongside the pavement there were bars draped with red and yellow Berlinale banners, with small groups of people hanging from them like ripe fruit. As we kept walking, I noticed a spot close to the hotel’s exit where it was getting a bit more crowded, so I peered across the street to see which celeb had attracted their attention and--

-- f-uuuck.

When you see Stellan Skarsgard’s head for the first time in your life hovering over a bunch of fans who are shoving things to sign in his face , there’s only one thing to do.

RUN, MOTHERFUCKER.

That’s all I could whisper to Alyeen1 in utter panic. 

“--run. Run! Ruuuuuuuuuuun.”

I’ve never left a friend behind so quickly.

So we ran like hell. 

We got behind the crowd and I tried to pull my cellphone out but it was too late, Stellan was already thanking the fans and disappearing into the building. If only I wasn’t late that morning!

Years of stress and running and being late have taught me to take a deep breath, give myself a second chance and try to find peace in the eye of the tornado, so I pulled out of the bag a piece of cardboard Alyeen had given me to draw “Hope”s poster with a sharpie. That would calm me down a bit and the wait wouldn’t be so unbearable. Besides we were front row and there was no one between us and the hotel exit, although we still didn’t know which side of the corridor Stellan would pick first, left or right?..

So here’s my reasoning behind the drawing: the previous evening I had wasted my sleep trying to figure out how Tom Hiddleston’s fans were able to stalk him in filming locations (you see, Tom has a wide network of fans reporting on his every move, Stellan doesn’t). Also I wanted to see how his fans got front row on the red carpet and how they got his attention, how they made him do things like kneel for them. I noticed that in order to do that you had to 1) be a flashy cosplayer who catches the eye 2) nag Tom persistently with a voice that’s higher than your usual tone until Tom indulges you. It has to work, right? Like a baby crying for food.

But I’m no cosplayer, I’m an artist, so the idea was to hang a big-ass drawing of mine in front of the barrier to get the attention.

Turns out... I didn’t even need it.

After waiting for about an hour and a half and worrying that Stellan had already left through another exit,  after watching the door open and close half a dozen times and seeing busy celebrities rushing off without signing a single autograph, we were on the brink of despair. 

Until the door opened one more time and 

Stellan was there.

I don’t remember what we did or what we said,  all I remember is that we called his name and dammit, that did get his attention. So we were the first he approached. Fuck.

As soon as he heard us calling him he gave us a broad welcoming smile and was ready for the selfies -  but guess what! I had forgotten to turn off the fucking timer, so Stellan moved on before the pic was taken.

God no. Not now. 

As he was taking a pic with Alyeen I begged him to come back for another try. He said he was too busy and had other fans waiting for him, there were too many of us, but I begged for like 2-3 seconds (a lesson I learned from that Loki cosplayer) so he came back and indulged me one more time.  X__X

After that I was dead inside, not only because I had to beg (I don’t do begging) but also because I had to be a burden to Stellan Skarsgard himself. Like, give me what  I want but please kill me afterwards, okay?

So yeah. Dead inside.

This is why I couldn’t relish the triumph right away, and to Alyeen’s enthusiastic “We did it, we DID IT!!!” my response was a numb “... Did we...?” >__>; 

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Inevitably, I had my stress attack after I got what I wanted. Also, I was just realizing that my stupid ancient phone couldn’t use the data I paid for before flying to Berlin so I had to desperately look for free wi fi and post the selfie before... someone stole my cellphone or something. 

For all the mishaps, we got to the red carpet so early that there were very few people waiting before us. Lucky for us 1) this is Berlin, not L.A., where people flock from all over the U.S. to take selfies with celebs they don’t even care for 2) this is Berlin, in February, so it was freezing cold and not many people were willing to freeze their asses off at the red carpet 3) this is Berlin, and crazy screaming fans are scarce. Unless you’re Johnny Depp but thank god Stellan is not Johnny Depp.

Andrea was the first to walk the red carpet and I was really bewildered by the fact that no one was screaming her name. So I called her. And she came! I thanked her for answering my PM and asked for a selfie (I must admit I take better selfies with women than with men). 

She was so sweet with me that I actually gave myself time to think and pull the cardboard sketch out of my bag to show her. I was like, whatever, you have it there, just show her.

She was so excited that she pulled out her phone and took a pic of my sketch. *___*   Crazy, right? I went to Berlin to find a king and found a queen instead.

The rest was like playing out a script. A couple of minutes later, Stellan came out of the car and started signing autographs and taking pictures so I had my second chance at a better selfie. Phew.

So nice of him, so so nice of him.

And oh, look at us lol.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Stellan Skarsgård Fan Acc (@stellanskarsgarddd) on Feb 24, 2020 at 11:32am PST

After the red carpet we could finally breathe. To my surprise, we even had access to the photo call itself in the Zoo Palast lobby.

Stellan was being playful with the photographers, knowing it was his job to pose but also being “whatever” about it, having done it a million times. He gave them one last pose going “Hey hey heyyyy!” and disappeared behind the blue panel until we saw all of them again after the end credits.

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The only thing I kinda regret is the fact that Megan was right there, right there, a few meters away from me as her husband was being photographed, but I didn’t dare ask for a selfie because the seats weren’t numbered and we had to rush into the theatre to find a good place. Damn. 

Until next time, I guess. Because there will be a next time, dear comrades. And hopefully Alyeen1 and I won’t be alone. 

[clairvoyantsam]

When dreams come true ft Jared Padalecki - 4th year anniversary

Rome, May 19th 2016 ... The day the ultimate dream came true! Some of you may remember I bumpted into Jared (or in fact, JARED bumpted into ME) while out and about in Rome that day, a few of my friends know all the details too, but I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned here exactly how and under what impossible circumstances this happened. So ... story time! (& stuff about jib5,6,7)

                                               BACKGROUND

This wasn’t the first time I met Jared, I had met him before at JIBCon5 in 2014, so this was my second time (I was supposed to see him at JIBCon6 in 2015 too which I attended as well but you guys know what happened that year). 

He was lovely that first time, I told him it was my first Supernatural convention and he gave me a warm welcome, made the entire experience so wonderful for me, during the photo ops, the autograph session (where I gave him a scrapbook with messages from fans I had been in contact with) and the panel question I asked him (I completed one of his sentences which was actually a Sam Winchester quote from SPN and it made both of us and the entire audience laugh xD - I have a photo of me somewhere from that moment and I haven’t seen myself smile so widely ever!). Anyway, like I said, the first convention was fantastic, a beautiful and most memorable experience (despite the fact that Jared had a misfortune that time too since he broke his arm and missed one of his panels as a consequence).

The second convention while it had its moments, it sat (and still sits to be honest) heavy in my heart because I was constantly worried about Jared’s wellbeing and everyone including me was heartbroken. The rest of the cast did everything they could to keep us all entertained, they truly did but there was a dark cloud over our heads that couldn’t be ignored. The first thing we talked about with Jensen at his meet and greet (because of  Jared��s absence, I was given the opportunity to be in that M&G, sitting right across from him and Robert Singer who was present at the con as well). Jensen was genuinely worried, he surely put on a brave face but whenever Jared was mentioned, he’d get emotional. While I asked show-related questions at the M&G, I wasn’t sure what to ask Jensen or tell him when I got his autograph and then I thought of the simplest thing: “So, I may be really sad about the empty spot next to you (Jared’s spot on the poster Jensen was signing for me) but I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate the fact that you’re such a supportive and caring friend towards Jared. Everyone deserves a friend like you to have their back.” Then he took my hand, shook it, looked me right in the eye, put a hand on his heart and told me a sincere “Thank You”. Frankly, I loved Jensen even more at JIB6, he showed both a brave and vulnerable side and he tried so hard to give everyone a great time. My best photos with him are from that con for sure!

So, you see, I HAD to try and give my luck a third chance to live the perfect experience. I wanted to live it all, photo ops, autographs, M&G, panels but I also had a secret wish: to be one of those fans who accidentally meet their fav randomly in the city (NO stalking because that’s just fucked up, only by chance). I always saw posts of lucky people who got to meet him outside of conventions. He’s not one of those snob celebs, you see. He’ll always smile at you and talk to you and get pictures with you. So, I dreamt about it the entire year before JIB7. @darlingjared and I would talk and joke about it all the time, praying that our stars will listen and make a surprise meeting possible. Of course, deep down we know the chances were extremely low. Rome is a HUGE city with hundreds of places of interest. He could be anywhere, on the opposite site of where we’d be. 

The day finally arrived, and we got to Rome (Thursday, May 19th 2016). Soon after I arrived at the Hilton hotel, I got to my room to get some rest after the flight. Not much later, I got a text saying Jared was at the hotel!!!! (no idea why??? the convention was starting the next day and he wasn’t to appear until the day after that). Before I could get dressed to go check, he was gone but I heard he was really sweet and greeted everyone who said hi to him. 

In the afternoon, after I met with my roommate and @darlingjared ,we took the Hilton bus that took us downtown; it left us near the Victor Emmanuel II monument.  Naturally, we went for walks around the city. We had a bite to eat and then got lost in a street trying to find our way to the Trevi fountain, so we asked around and managed to get to our destination. We spent a few minutes there, taking photos and then continued our way, meaning to get to the Spanish steps. While we were heading there, rain started pouring, so we took shelter for a few minutes until it stopped. We thought, damn, we will never meet him during this weather. When it stopped, we did some shopping at a supermarket and since the time had passed and we had to grab our ride back to the hotel since the Hilton bus had a specific route schedule, we said let’s just pass the Spanish steps quickly, go down via Condotti and head back. (I have to mention here that my BEST DECISION EVER was to wear the Always Keep Fighting T-shirt for this walk). At this point, we were certain we wouldn’t meet him, so we basically forgot about it and just started chatting with each other and laughing. I mean, we walked around many places, we got lost, we got stuck in the rain. What were the odds??? So, we’re laughing at our own jokes and for some reason we had our attention focused at the right side of the street. I turn my head straight at the PERFECT time, seeing that beautiful, smiling giant, coming my way through the crowd and adressing me before I had the time to react:

Jared: “Hey, I love your shirt!” 

I fucking froze. Can you imagine?????? Not only did we eventually meet him but HE came to us FIRST to talk!!!!! We didn’t have to notice him and shyly go talk to him, wondering if we’re disturbing him, asking for pictures. He casually just approached us because he wanted to, because he’s kind and simple like that. I was so shocked, mouth agape, that he just went in for a hug to bring me back to reality!!! Now, name me another actor, another celebrity who will stop on his own to talk to you and hug you, I DARE YOU TO FIND ONE!!! He’s pure and special like that. He hugged each of us (gosh, he smelled like Heaven and looked so good in that sexy coat he wore, his hair kinda wet from the rain), asked us how we’re doing and then we asked if it would be ok to take some pictures with us. He said “sure!” and we took our phones out. Mine was brand new and I hadn’t even taken a picture with it, so, basically Jared blessed it first xD My hand was shaking so bad that I couldn’t take the picture, so, he put his hand on mine to steady it and took the selfie. He took pics with all of us, we thanked him and then he told us to have a good time and that he’d see us again at the convention. Needless to say when he left, we started losing it because we couldn’t believe what had just happened!!! It was out of this world. To this day, as I’m writing this, I still can’t believe it. We wanted something so SO much, that the universe made it happen. It’s one of those times that you know the stars aligned so that something you desired with all your heart could come true!

The entire convention was absolutely phenomenal. Jared remembered my face throughout the weekend, I asked him interesting questions during his panels and the one he shared with Jensen for which he later thanked me when I saw him at the photo ops (he particularly liked my question adressed to him and Jensen about the proudest they’ve felt about themselves in real life and about their characters on Supernatural and the other one concerning what Sam and Jared would tell each other if they met in real life which he found great because he said he had never been asked that before.) The M&G with him was a blast, he sat with us longer than what was expected, got to ask him two questions there (I have another detailed post with everything that was said in the M&G), he was super chill and eager to answer everything we wanted to know. When I got his autograph, I told him everything he means to me, thanked him for inspiring me to be a better version of myself, straight out told him I love him and he was so kind and gentle and shook my hand and told me he loved me back (also gave him a custom made chocolate I ordered particularly for him with #AKF as a theme). “I love you, always keeping fighting Jared, never forget.” I was on the verge of tears for multiple reasons but I had to say that to him. I was not in a good place back then and Jared was a beacon of light, of hope that kept me going. At our last photo op together, I asked him to hug me “like there’s no tomorrow” and he held me so tight in his arms, I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t care. I didn’t know what he looked like when he hugged me but getting out of the photo op room, the girl who was behind me stopped me in the hallway and said: “Omg, he was so sweet with you! Loved what he did with his eyes. Your photo will look beautiful”. I was confused because I was looking at the camera when the picture was taken, so I had to wait for my photo op to get printed to see what she was talking about. My heart melted when I saw this:

I mean, look at that SOFT face. He’s so sweet, you can FEEL his kindness radiating by reading his expression. Some people may think nothing of this but it meant the world to me back then. It was as if he was telling me “things will get better, you can do this” without using words.

When Jared hugs, he does it with everything he has, like he’s said before, hugging is showing you care about someone and damn, he does. He’s an actor but he doesn’t pretend during these moments, I can assure you. He’s a person who feels things deeply, he’s someone who understands what it’s like to struggle with your personal demons and that’s why I’ve always related to him the most. He has a heart of gold and personally, I’ll have his back always. He didn’t have to be so kind to me but he was and I will never forget that.

So this is my story. This post was probably too long but I had to share these thoughts. 

Jared, I know you don’t remember me but if you ever see this, thank you for being you, don’t ever change. I love you, man. #AKF

~Elena