#i probably forgot some stuff but i just cannot be bothered anymore.

[lovecolibri]

Things that did NOT Spark Joy-4x10

Well. Here we are again, folks! If you want to read about me singing Kyle’s much deserved praises, that post is here, otherwise, lets dive into the retconning, confusing, jam-packed and yet still somehow boring AF mire of this episode.

Starting off strong with Liz dropping the line about the sinkhole being a “one way door” when they found her passed out immediately after finding the sinkhole and as far as we know NO ONE but especially not her, have run tests to know what’s going on with the sinkhole. PLUS, they pulled m*ria out so why are we being told (but never, not ONCE, shown) that things can’t come back out?

I wish I could like Bonnie but after so much focus on her I’m just so very tired. But also. why do they want us to sympathize so hard with a character who helped steal powers so a dictator take over and kill swaths of people to harvest those flowers and prolong his own life, and whatever TF else he was trying to do that involved murdering a lot of people? Why give us that backstory and focus instead of focusing on the MAIN CHARACTERS? And it’s so confusing what the aliens are supposed to know of earth because Bonnie knows the concept of a turducken and what a haiku is, but no idea what Morse Code is, and it feels like every thing the dark triad knows or doesn’t know is based entirely off of plot convince, and how much they want them to have snarky one-liners. She seems pretty confident that she’s not a danger to humans but how would she know unless she had been going around kissing them? They don’t have powers to mitigate, but could she be passing along her alien flu/cold mixture? Which no human would have immunity to? We didn’t need ANY of that storyline since it was just about taking away their powers and honestly they could have mixed that in with Tezca stealing people’s faces or just injected Michael with something like the alien flowers. We didn’t even need him being “sick” because nothing really came out of that either since it wasn’t used to have Alex taking care of him, or him fighting through being ill to go after Alex!

Honestly, it makes no sense to trust Bonnie-she could be playing all of them with her doe-eyed innocent act! She took away Michael’s powers without consent and now wants to stay with Michael in another dimension she claims she doesn’t know anything about? She’s constantly been feeding them tidbits of information about the mission of the dark triad but every time they need more information she doesn’t seem to have any idea what’s going on. Season 1 pod squad (and present day Alex at least though Kyle should know better too) would never have put any kind of trust in someone like that, and would have at least discussed that she was trying to lead them into a trap or knows more than she’s telling.

On that note, Tezca having “amnesia” about everything is mighty convenient and season 1 pod squad wouldn’t just be taking this at face value either. And Michael asking vague questions instead of specifically asking why she won’t tell them about what she knows about Alex and the quicksand/sinkhole thing? What was that about?! Whyyyy are the writers allergic to letting Michael go all out and demand answers about Alex?! And supposedly Tezca was the “go-between” for Nora, Louise, and Theo but that whole relationship with Jones and how they were working for him but not really is already so convoluted that throwing another person into their triad mix just makes it all make even less sense. And why do we have time for her sob story about all the people she killed working for the dictator (who could control her but apparently couldn’t just...control Nora, Louise, and Theo to get what he wanted? Okay.), but don’t have time to focus on our main characters and their journeys or them working together? This Tezca plot would have fit better last season, but also the shape-shifting which was the only cool thing has been entirely dropped, and was never really used THAT well and didn’t take over any of the mains to gain “secret” info. so again, what was even the point?! The only thing they really did was get a body from Deep Sky and then destroy it, which since they can memory-wipe people, didn’t need Eduardo’s face to accomplish in the first place!

Tezca says she would have done Ophiuchus's will and that Clyde is a true believer, but she was following Jones and his plan soooo, what IS Ophiuchus?! Jones and his plan? A religion/god/fate? A cult? They keep dropping the name but every time has such weird and different contexts it’s impossible to pinpoint what it even is.

The Jones wig is sooooo bad!! I was so excited about maybe getting Jones back but every bit they have used him this season has been awful, confusing, or both.

The idea that there is just a WHOLE ASS OTHER DEMINSION that ANYONE COULD FALL INTO, and a giant metallic structure, just...sitting out in the open that were NOT found by the regular military OR any of the Caulfield/Project Shepherd/alien research offshoots, OR Deep Sky, OR any of the alien-obsessed people like the Green twins (remember when “lots of twins in Roswell” was a teased plotline?) and turned into a tourist trap or an urban legend, OR by Michael who has spent his whole life looking for stuff like this is beyond ridiculous. Especially given that characters are now just constantly having loud, public discussions of alien stuff. Remember when they were worried about getting caught and experimented on? I miss that energy.

Did Kyle and Eduardo even find Allie?! That was the whole point of them staying in Mexico for the past 3 episodes and we just don’t see or talk about any of that? Where did they find that box, and since it was SO important why didn't we see it?! Besides the ridiculousness of separating the alien pieces and putting some of them in another demission, some in a hideout in Mexico that seems like maybe didn’t exist until after the OG triad were taken, and just...leaving the rest of the pieces in the ground to be scavenged by literally anyone, HOW did Kyle get that sealed box full of alien stuff on a plane and through customs? Or did he make a 25 hour drive instead and hope he didn’t trigger any sensors at the border? Also, as I talked about here, there are some weird discrepancies not just about the console and Michael and Alex’s necklaces being made from pieces of it, but also backstories for the Valenti family and how this new “secret alien stash in Mexico” plotline doesn’t really fit with anything. Nothing that happened there couldn’t have just happened in Roswell. Hell, they could have found that stuff hiding in the Valenti cabin or in a secret lock-box Jim left for Kyle! So much of that storyline was wasted time and set up to get items that they easily could have found quicker, easier, and with less set up in town, leaving time to SHOW us the more important stuff.

Speaking of showing us important stuff, we should have seen Michael and Kyle trying lots of different things, putting stuff in the hole and trying to pull it back, and Michael getting more and more frustrated and despondent as things didn’t work! Seeing Michael being frustrated, out of ideas, and ready to give up, feels like it comes out of nowhere because we haven’t even seen him try a single thing to get to Alex yet! We could have spent less time on Tezca, Bonnie and Dallas, and soooo much less time on m*ria and used that time to see Kyle and Michael working on research, and trying to get to Alex.

WHY IS EVERYONE REFERRING TO ALEX AS “MANES” AND HOW DO WE MAKE IT FUCKING STOP!

No Heath this episode helping Michael and Kyle, so did he not stick around to look for his lost lover buddie Dallas? Just to help Liz and then fuck off forever? So what was the point of bringing him back if he’s not even going to be allowed to help find his life-long friend?! Instead we could have had Kyle having to walk Isobel through what to do over the phone, which easily could have been done without Trevino present, would have tied in to their working together on medical stuff and her being his extra set of hands, and would have again given focus to our mains instead of side characters, and would have given Isobel something to do during the episode instead of sit around 90% of the time.

I just cannot be bothered to go over all the Liz stuff at this point but I will say that Evil!Liz would have been fun way earlier in the season, and would have been more interesting if it was something more than just Liz doing exactly what she has been doing this whole time, but with the added layer of being cruel to her sister. It’s just so sloppy and I have ALWAYS liked Liz as a character but this season has been rough trying to be a fan of Liz, or Max, or Echo because the writing...doesn’t seem to particularly like Liz, or Echo, and refuses to lean into the things people liked about Max at the beginning-namely him being soft and heart-eyes over Liz and wanting to support her, but they also make it hard for him to do that when they also insist on her doing unethical shit all the time or expressly doing things the pod squad have asked her not to, or helping herself to their pod goo like it belongs to her or is hers to share with whoever she wants. Do the writers even know or care how unlikable they are making both their leads out to be? Don’t answer that. We been knew.

Speaking of Liz, I was interested in season 1 when she was worried she was losing her mind and that she knew mental illness ran in the family and that’s what was triggering the substance abuse in her mom and Rosa, but they always undercut that with having Liz smoking with m*ria, and always having a drink in her hand, and then when Rosa came back with NO ONE taking her mental health seriously or discussing how it was the driving force behind her addiction. But the way they are handling it with Liz now just feels so sloppy and disingenuous. She doesn’t need an addiction to be the driving force behind her “bad deeds” because Evil!Liz was the one that “won” in the mindscape and she was fully dedicated to focusing on her research AND we’ve been told this whole time that, unlike Shivani who is just a tech investor, Liz is brilliant and can constantly pull off feats of scientific invention on her own. We don’t need this subplot, this late in the game, for additional “drama”, when we would be getting the same story without it! Also, why does huffing it now not kick her into the mindscape again? Uuuuugh, it’s just so, so sloppy and confusing, and involves a lot of wasted time, especially since we went through all this just to have her make one attempt and then immediately just give up and move on from Shivani. She should have done that like, 7 episodes ago.

m*ria is as fucking useless as always and Rosa deserves so much better than to be sidelined into being m*ria’s spirit guide/mentor whatever. The fact that they even put it into the text that m*ria’s power is basically just Rosa’s and that didn’t stop them from wedging m*ria in there makes me want to scream. GOD FORBID she miss three episodes and they stop ruining other people’s stories just to try and invent things for her to do. GOD FORBID they just let Rosa do what she trained to do last season instead of wasting precious screentime walking m*ria through how to do literally the same thing. Also, what was the fucking point of wasting all that time at the start of the season with m*ria bitching about losing something that was literally killing her and has never once actually been useful to anyone, only to just...pretend it never happened and she’s not only fine, she has SUPER new powers now! 🙄🙄🙄🙄 give me a fucking break.

Link to previous episode posts: 4x01, 4x02, 4x03, 4x04, 4x05, 4x06, 4x07, 4x08, 4x09 

[mr-payjay]

feel free to complain to me about the ii finale <3 i'm all ears

thank you ellie :)

fair warning for ii neg, especially on the latest episode.

prefacing this with saying: I LOVE INANIMATE INSANITY!!!!!! inanimate insanity is my favourite show in the world and every episode leaves me full of joy and excitement. i adore criticizing it not out of hatred but out of genuine love. i enjoy every single episode i watch.

however, i find that iii19 has been the worst episode so far. it has gotten me the least hyped out of any episode in the series, which is saying a lot because i bounce off the walls at every episode no matter how much i end up criticizing it later. there are. so many problems i have with it. im gonna try and organize them the best i can, though i'll probably(?) edit this post later to insert anything i missed or forgot to say.

starting off positively: oj!!!! personally i am so glad he didn't talk in this episode. i was terrified of the idea of him having a new va. the spin was adorable, i loved his signature thumbs ups, and every time i saw him i squealed with delight. him voting for balloon also made me really happy! despite the grudge he's had against him for so long, he still sticks with him on this part. even after laughing at his death the episode before that

in general all the seasonwunners voted for balloon!! which makes me happy!!! paintbrush, nickel, balloon, and oj have all been there for the very beginning of season 1, three of them being there for every season. i love the inherent connection the contestants from season 1 have with each other. they've been together since inanimate insanity began and they're there for the end of season 3 too. very sweet.

onto more negative stuff! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID WITH SILVER SPOON AND CANDLEEE they set up something crazy in the last episode and then did NOTHING with it!!! they had silver spoon beat candle unconscious the second she said something that wasn't coddling him like the manchild he is and she STILL voted for him. where even was she for half of the episode?? they just left her lifeless corpse on the ground in iii18 and then she eventually got up in this episode and just. went back to the competition??? dogshit writing

okay now i wanna talk about cabby. I Don't Like Cabby Anymore. so from the very beginning i have loved cabby. she was extremely similar to me in fact! i have really bad memory issues and i tend to keep files on people and on things that i might forget about, as well as just to organize my thoughts and ideas. i loved her confidence, obsession with knowledge, and analytical personality at the start. i was pretty upset when the characters (mostly test tube lmao) started relentlessly bullying her, and i HATE the whole thing in spring on the breakfast where they try to demonize her files. it was kind of annoying when they tried to remedy it really quickly after that because it was clearly because of the backlash, but i was glad they at least tried to fix it. however, over the course of the series, she just felt like she was... becoming sadder? pitiful, honestly? she went from an awesome smart character who loved taking notes on people's behaviour and using that information to get better at the game into some kind of Sad Little Bullied Victim. she doesn't even feel like a character anymore to me, just a mouthpiece for the creators to write dramatic "cathartic" speeches through to prove they're Definitely Not Ableist. also what was the deal with her parents lmao they never brought that up again

aaaand this episode was generally written really badly. super fucking corny for one. they literally had a little dance party at the end like people make jokes about for stereotypical Kids' Shows. but my issue is more with like... the weird super fast character development? and the way they wrapped everything up as quickly as possible? something that bothered me was the tonal whiplash between zuwie voicing springy super hysterically and dramatically and then springy being fully redeemed within like the next 5 minutes and dying for mephone. Why did they even die for mephone. like as a character why would he of all people die for mephone. thats so fucking stupid. the rest of the voice acting felt completely different from springy's as well so it just made the effect worse. everyone's lines were really corny and felt so manufactured, like they would pull characters to mephone's side (losing my mind over all the contestants rooting for mephone like cmon man that guy sucks i just know oj at least would want him dead) with a short Cathartic Speech and everything would be fixed and lovely and peachy keen. its just painful to watch. everything feels really weirdly disjointed and badly put together, the flow is awful, the "danger" doesn't feel like there's any suspense to it at all, and every character gets fully redeemed for no good reason. even walkie talkie chats casually with mephone at the end as if they're good friends after they were HYSTERICALLY INSISTING ON MURDERING HIM? AND MAKING HIM WATCH HIS OWN DEATH?? idk if this will get explained in s2 but we still don't know who walkie talkie is, what their motive is, WHY they got redeemed, etc. we know nothing about them. and even if it will be explained later, i think it's shitty writing that NOTHING was explained in this season.

some extra stuff

- SO FUCKING GLAD THEY DIDN'T BRING HOTEL OJ INTO THIS I WOULD'VE CRIED IF THEY PUT SEASON 3 CHARACTERS INTO HOTEL OJ OR MADE IT ALL SLEEK AND S3 STYLE

- the "you can do this" thing at the end was fucking stupid man that was so corny (btw corny isn't always bad but jesus christ... this episode was just awful with it)

- could not feel any emotion towards the Emotional Parts but laughter and secondhand embarrassment

- HOW DID THEY GET THE FUNDING FOR A LIBRARY? I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WAS THAT MEPHONE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING FOR A PRIZE HOW DID HE PAY FOR AN ENTIRE LIBRARY

- speaking of, why isn't oj back at the hotel. doesn't he have to manage it. wasn't paper having a ton of trouble managing it. why are all of them still on that fuckass island. did the library take like 5 minutes to build what the fuck

- ALSO!!! Why did they build a library in the middle of a deserted island

- i liked the short nickloon scene because im a nicklooner

- glad yinyang and candle got to talk

- test tube saying nearly nothing at all the entire episode except for sitting on the ground in a really stupid pose and apologizing to cabby made me laugh

- weirded out by tt and fan not talking to each other at all? not as a ship thing but like they're best friends aren't they

- really fucking annoyed by the fantube family picture at the end i hate fantube family leave that grown ass adult (bot) alone

- glad they didn't canonize any ships i was so scared about silvercandle and fantube

- 4s scene and s1 flashback was cool i love s1 so i got excited

- aaaaand i think my misogyny thread is relevant again. i should update it sometime because ii has only gotten worse about it lmao

- didn't like them making clover stupid for some reason like "is he talking about me?" come on

- oj not talking in these last two episodes is so glaringly unusual because he's never been able to shut his fucking mouth for even a minute

[wp-blaze]

Special Edition- The Writer and The Librarian (Book 1) *Gilded Edges

Delve deep into the enigmatic realm of secret societies with The Writer and the Librarian—The Raven Society Book 1. In this spellbinding historical fantasy series, R.L. Geer-Robbins leads readers on a heart-pounding journey through forgotten legends and distorted history. Uncover the chilling secrets of Scottish Mythology and come face to face with the horrifying truths … Continue reading Special Edition- The Writer and The Librarian (Book 1) *Gilded Edges

[beholdthemem]

@alwaysatomicconniseur long ago and far away you very generously responded to this Christmas Edition Ship Meme I’d reblogged with ‘How about Chrissy and Eddie?’ I was delighted, started this, and then forgot until I went through my drafts earlier today like ‘OH, WAIT, LAST DAY-’ 

Thank you for your generosity in giving me an excuse to yell about these two, and for your endless patience. May your holiday be excellent.

-Who starts putting up decorations in October?

I’m gonna say they have an understanding that October is sacred. Those are 31 days meant to be devoted to Halloween, and Halloween ONLY. 

November, meanwhile, is a point of contention. Eddie feels that November should be spent as the Post-Halloween-Mourning-Period, wherein Halloween decorations are left up until whoever you’re living with loudly announces that they cannot live this way anymore, that Jack-o-Lantern outside is ROTTING and squirrels may occassionally be using it as a sex den, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. IT’S THANKSGIVING.

Chrissy, meanwhile, jumps into Christmas preparations immediately. This has less to do with her feelings on Christmas, and more to do with Thanksgiving being specifically devoted to both food and family. The less time she has to think about it, the better.

At some point Eddie puts two and two together. He does not comment, but he does start helping her put decorations up.

He refuses to put the Halloween decorations away, though, so the house is just filled with skeletons and bloody mannequins covered in tinsel until December 1st. Steve, who somehow always gets saddled with working Black Friday, says this looks like his own personal version of hell.

-Who buys Advent Calendars?

Chrissy introduced Eddie to the concept of Advent Calendars. He buys multiple, and then guts them all immediately upon getting home. There will be no waiting day by day, there is candy in there NOW.

-Who places mistletoe all around the house?

The first Christmas they spent together, Chrissy surprised him by putting it in one doorway and jokingly demanding a kiss tax any time one of them entered or left the room. She took it down at the end of the day, and then discovered the next morning that Eddie had willingly gotten up early for the first time in God only knew how long to stick some in every doorway in the house.

“You are ridiculous-”

“Pay up!”

“Absolutely ridiculous!”

“Less laughing, more ki- mmph-”

-Who wraps the presents for other people?

Chrissy’s got years of gift exchanges under her belt from various extracurriculars, meaning she has wrapping down to a science. Eddie’s not bad, but she’s so much faster at it that she usually ends up taking over just to get things done.

-Who puts the star/angel on top of the Christmas tree?

Eddie is required to do this as the resident Tall Person in the house. He has mentioned on more than one occassion that this is the only time post-puberty that anyone’s ever considered him a Tall Person.

-Who’s the one that hates eggnog?

Eddie, purely due to the Christmas of ‘78 when he swapped out the non-alcoholic eggnog Wayne had bought for the two of them with the stuff Wayne had intended to give a coworker. He spent Christmas morning throwing up what felt like everything he’d eaten in the past week while Wayne alternated between patting his back and yelling at him.

-Who’s the one that bakes Christmas cookies for guests?

Neither. It’s one of those things that Chrissy feels like she probably should do, but somehow never ends up getting around to. Eddie, meanwhile, simply does not bother.

-Who sends out the Christmas cards?

Making them is a joint effort, but the one who actually remembers to mail them in time is Chrissy.

-Who knows all the words to Twelve Days of Christmas?

Eddie, and he cannot for the life of him explain why. He has no memory of learning them.

-Who’s the better snowman builder?

Define better. Structually sound? Chrissy. Recognizable as a snowman for the minute and a half it stays up before collapsing under its own weight? Eddie.

-Who starts snowball fights?

Eddie starts em, Chrissy wins. 

-Who’s the one that wakes the other up on Christmas morning by playing Christmas songs really loudly?

CHRISSY. It’s her one allocated Gremlin Moment per month, she’s always up at that hour anyway, and now both Eddie and the dog are gonna be up with her.

[erigold13261]

Hello. This is I the deranged JJK anon back with more comic info. Feel free to delete this ask bc I am profusely sorry for taking up your time and I really enjoyed the last answer./srs ...speaking of getting into the anime/manga, I cannot recommend it now bc the anime is quite gorery/depressing and the manga has jumped the shark

Satoru and Suguru are best friends, and it is highly implied that their relationship has romantic undertones.

Satoru's canon theme song by the comic author is "Shame on Me" by Avicii, which has many romantic lyrics.

Suguru wears Gojo Kesa as an adult, or a Buddhist monk outfit just because it is a "Gojo" kesa.

Satoru is from a family of prolific, rich sorcerers (or just an influential, rich and powerful family in the NSR world) who would probably not want a "scandal" if their heir was some flavor of gay. (below is more NSR world main HCs)

This could explain why the Satoru Suguru Shoko gang ran a phony scheme in the NSR world, maybe to escape harsh reality.

Hobie hates Satoru and Suguru for some reason, probably because Satoru is a snobbish rich brat.

Miles (bc he is sunshine reincarnate), Peni (the only Arachnikid who can communicate with the JJK gang (what is their group name) in Japanese) and Yu(also sunshine) have to work together to make them GET. ALONG.

They eventually do get along, since Nueva York is pretty messed up too and they want out

Yu adores Peni bc kits reminds him of his sister back at home

Speaking of Yu... T-boy Yu HC?

And Satoru and Yu both using neopronouns too bc silly is cool (blue/blues Satoru? pup/pups Yu?)

Satoru likes blues eyes bc Suguru thinks they are the most beautiful thing in the universe, and tells blues that all the time

Satoru could have a combo of space/psychic powers, like DJ Sub to some extent

Nanami used to hide his 30 percent side with makeup and hair, like what Eve did. After coming to Nueva York, he has stopped hiding. (Also bc the rest of the gang encouraged him to do so)

Shoko used to be a heavy smoker as a highschooler in Japan, and sure wants to smoke again although they know it isn't good for their glass/plant body

Noir agrees, and they both wish to smoke after they both get out

AroAce "So Done With Your Shit Gojo" Nanami... Satoru(flamboyant gay) and Suguru(literature gay/bi/enby) eventually becoming the cringe/j gay couple...(their annoyingness is on par with GhostFlower(Miles/Gwen) and Pavitri(Pavitr/Gayatri), although those four are far nicer than SatoSugu(Satoru/Suguru)) "I am anything but cis and straight" Shoko... "I used to be a girl and now I am a boy who likes boys and girls" Yu...

... sorry again for the ask dump. I know it's messy and feel free to dump this too

I actually love gorey animes and movies so that’s not a bother to me! Don’t know how I feel about “jumped the shark” stories though because the only ones I know really are things like Family Guy or Simpsons that have that trope and I don’t watch those shows really anymore (and they are an entirely different feel from a continuous narrative story).

Anyway you can keep sending this stuff in! I like learning stuff second hand for some reason, it’s a lot of fun! (I know a LOT more about One Piece than I should thanks to tiktok and one movie I watched not realizing it was part of a series lol)

Gonna try and give feedback to ALL points because I realized I completely forgot to answer something on your last ask because I skipped a sentence when rereading (about Eve and Nanami).

-Satoru/Suguru relationship: Oh cool! What if they were in a QPR? That would be neat for some reason lol! Also, could only think of the lesbian version of “and they were best friends” hehehe. But good for them (maybe, unless they are doomed by the narrative).

-Satoru theme song: This song has a really good beat to it! Only Avicii song I knew before was “Hey Brother” so this was a complete shift in what I thought the beat of the song was gonna be. But it seems to fit well with what I know of the character (could seem to fit better if I knew the more intricate details lol).

-Suguru and Gojo Kesa: Okay that’s actually really funny lol. To me that’s like a guy named Gene wears only jean jackets hehe.

-Satoru family/gayness: I can see that being a thing unfortunately. It would also make sense for Satoru to be from a famous/influential or powerful family as his powers would probably be a family trait and that kind of power (of reality manipulation) would definitely make a family well known and rich.

-Escape reality: Having the three, who all probably have higher-up families because of their powers, does make sense that they grouped together to try and escape their family life. It would also make them less empathetic (sympathetic? idk) to the common people and allow their scheme to continue without really feeling bad about it (because logically it makes sense to them, we are healing you of something no one else could, so you have to give something no one else could, your power).

-Hobie’s hate: Yeah. There’s also the fact the two (3 with Shoko) took advantage of people in vulnerable states for their own selfish reasons. The rich brat personality is just another facet for Hobie to hate.

-Get along (2 of the points): Okay, for some reason I immediately thought of Satoru, Suguru and Shoko (don’t know what their group would be called) would try and get Peni to help them scheme as a technomancer could be really valuable, but kit obviously does not want to trick people and definitely wouldn’t want to do anything related to medical stuff at the moment considering kits pretty recent past.

Miles, Peni, and Yu are hanging out and talking as best as they can with Peni helping out because I can see the three having a lot in common (which allows Yu and Nanami become like unofficially apart of the Arachnikid friend group and probably be really good assets in the Power Revolution). 

But yeah, Peni helping bridge the gap is a nice thing to think about. Even if it is just letting Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko be friendly or at least cordial with the rest of the group. They would mainly be doing their own thing, while Yu and Nanami are actually trying to be friends with everyone.

-Yu and Peni: I love this idea. Especially the thought that Peni could get a kind of older brother figure because of how Yu sees her. Both being in pretty shitty situations (Peni having lost kits dad and Yu being away from all his family with just a single friend) would probably look for a type of familial bond without realizing it. (which also makes me think Yu and Noir would become pretty good friends once they work out the language barrier because of how close Noir and Peni are).

-T-boy Yu: Fuck yeah! (I don’t have much to add since I barely know him, but yeah! T-boy swag!)

-Neopronouns: Those are cool neopronouns! Will try to use them for the rest of this ask when I can! (I will be honest, I keep getting names mixed up because they are all new names to me and I don’t exactly have the names to faces memorized yet lol, so hopefully I don’t use blue for Suguru by accident)

-Eyes: Aw that’s sweet. I can see Satoru not liking blues eyes when blue was younger because… well it’s not common to have multiple eyes (not impossible, but not common) so maybe had some kind of resentment to blues eyes for a while until Suguru kept complimenting them, allowing Satoru to start loving blues eyes (also when I first read that I thought it meant blue as in color and was thinking how would Satoru like Purl’s eyes since they are a pretty blue color when not wearing their sunglasses).

-Space/psychic powers: It’s basically like a combination of Eve and DJSS’ powers which is such a dangerous and powerful combination to have. Which I feel like really fits blue a lot. I can see these powers not being super distinct from each other (like you can tell when Tatiana is using fire vs using time) and so they meld together making a seemingly single type of power instead of two distinct power types (I have no idea how to explain it better than this lol).

-Nanami 30%: OMG THIS! I forgot to address this in my other ask! I had something planned for it too! UGH!

Anyway, I was going to say I don’t think people would make fun of Nanami for his skin condition (I think that was how it was worded in the ask) but they do compare him to Eve, only because Eve is probably like the only person with this kind of condition that the people around Nanami know about. It would be like someone with vitiligo always being compared to Micheal Jackson because it isn’t a common skin condition that a lot of people would have heard of outside of a celebrity.

So yeah, I can definitely see Nanami being really annoyed with the constant comparisons and actively trying to hide his condition for a long while before coming to terms with it. It was more of an annoyance to hear and to hide the condition than anything else. 

Once he got to Nueva York, he might not have been ALLOWED to hide his condition. Maybe he had “bad behaviour” (it wasn’t actually bad, he just kept using his powers thinking it was fine but the counselors had to keep stopping him) and so he lost some privileges like hair dye and makeup. 

Thankfully the people around him didn’t care all that much. There were definitely comments comparing him to Eve (especially from Pav who explained how he is related to Eve) that annoyed Nanami, but he explained his feelings and the group apologizes because they didn’t know (maybe him and Pav’s relationship starts off a bit rocky because of this connection and Nanami having a hard time dissociating his feelings for his condition and Eve from Pav).

After Nanami gets hair dye and makeup privileges back, I do think the gang would encourage him to not hide it again and so he doesn’t (still has to grow out his hair though to get the 30% to outgrow the dye)

-Smoko Shoko (and Noir, 2 points): Oh her plant parts are absolutely hating the smoke she puts into her body, but I don’t think the glass part would be as affected as something more organic (the glass is organic as well but to a lesser degree like Tatiana’s rock body or Matvey’s metallic body). I wonder if her healing powers could help reduce any problems she might have with being a heavy smoker, that would be a neat thing to be able to do!

Her and Noir, when given access to go out for good behaviour, go and have a smoke together. They can’t really communicate without Peni or without their phones to translate stuff, but they just sit down at a park or beach and watch the sunset together silently as they smoke (they definitely are not allowed to smoke on Nueva York premises so they get a lot of their smoking done in this small time frame).

-Queering it up HCs: 

Love AroAce headcanons, good job Nanami!

SatoSugu and GhostFlower (didn’t know that was their ship name, cute!) being happy and annoying while Pav is sad and alone in Nueva York missing Gaya (you better believe they become the most annoying when reunited because of the time they were forced apart).

Trans Shoko? Nice :3 (also for some reason like the idea of her being a part of SatoSugu but in a queer platonic way. Like they are also dating her but in an emotional sense while SatoSugu are also just super gay for each other).

And then Yu is an icon with t-boy swag hehe

________________

So yeah! That’s all I got for each of your points! Don’t worry about sending in these asks, I do like learning about media second hand, it’s fun! So these asks are pretty fun to do! I’m just sad I can’t add a lot more ideas like I could for a media I know a lot about, but you seem to be having fun talking about this stuff (like I have fun talking about shit which is why I make long answers to asks lol) so that’s good!

Glad you are able to enjoy my ideas even when they might not all be correct with the source material in how people act or relationships with other characters! But hey, that’s the fun part lol. Sometimes a little mischaractization is fun hehehe

[the-travelling-witch]

Accidental confessions

summary: what would the characters do if they accidentally confessed to you?

pairings: zhongli x gn!reader; diluc x gn!reader; albedo x gn!reader; kazuha x gn!reader

warnings: none that i´m aware of, just fluff (please let me know if i forgot sth)

a/n: writing genshin to manifest raiden coming home next week does this count as copium?

find part 2 here!

genshin impact masterlist

ZHONGLI

Okay, let´s get one thing straight: everyone on this list falls into the “calm and collected” category in their own way, so probably none of them would slip up while talking to you

But Zhongli is literally a couple thousand years old, bold of you to assume something like this would throw him off

Even if it catches him off guard, he´ll regain his composure and go with the flow

The ex-archon learned over time there´s no point in keeping secrets, it might actually make the situation worse

Besides, why would he be ashamed of something as pure as his adoration for you?

Stretching your arms over your head, you feel the satisfaction of cracking your joints after a long day of work. Cleaning up the rest of your stuff, you got up and said goodbye to your co-workers before leaving for the day.

The evening breeze felt nice against your skin, carrying the gentle scent of the sea mixed with those wavering over from the bustling streets of Liyue Harbor. So, to savour the beauty of dusk settling over the city, you decided to take a little stroll along the stalls lining the pavement.

Growing up in Liyue Harbor, you´d never really appreciated just how beautiful it actually was. To you, it was just normal. Sure, whenever festivals like the lantern rite were held, you marvelled at the pretty craftmanship of the decorations as long as they lasted. And then everything was the same as usual again. One fateful day, however, a chance encounter should change the way you saw Liyue and its history forever.

You´d been sitting in your favourite tea shop, trying to wind down from a less than ideal business deal. The guy you were trading with blatantly ignored every regulation set in your contract and was pulling all the stops in an attempt to scam you of your money. Luckily, you had some good connections to Yanfei, who managed to sort the whole mess out in your favour.

Still, the interaction had strained even the last nerve in your body and you still had to fight the urge to go back and sucker-punch the guy for the sheer audacity. Instead, you were clenching your teacup just as hard as your jaw and the fact that the shop was overrun with customers this day wasn´t helping. You had had trouble finding a table at all but once you were settled, you felt as if at least a small weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“Excuse me, I do not mean to bother you, yet I must ask whether there is an open spot left at your table?”

You looked up to see two intense amber eyes inquisitively peering down at you. Mumbling a quick affirmation and shuffling around to make room for the tall stranger, you took in his appearance more. He was elegantly dressed, a traditional style you didn´t see often anymore and he moved with great elegance and poise. The smooth voice and even tone with which he spoke made it sound as if he was reciting poetry, not ordering Osmanthus tea.

“As you have so kindly offered me a spot at your table, I do not wish to offend you by asking this, still I cannot help but notice that you seem rather irked; I wholeheartedly hope it has nothing to do with my presence?” It was hard to remain calm and not flush cherry red at the way he directed his complete attention towards you, his eyes seemed to give off a subtle glow, like molten gold shining in the sun. You reassured him that you did not mind the company and filled him in on the situation with your business partner.

“Dishonoured a contract, you say? A bold move in the land of contracts, if I dare say so myself. After all, Rex Lapis once said: `Ones who break their contracts shall suffer the Wrath of the Rock´. I would like to believe that this principle still holds true to this day, even if the Liyue of today is a vastly different Liyue than back in those days.”

Through your conversation, you learned that his name was Zhongli and that he was the consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. It certainly seemed like the right occupation for someone with such extensive knowledge, yet, as someone who´s known Hu Tao for quite some time now, you couldn´t help but feel a little concerned for his sanity.

As the hours passed, you found yourself more and more drawn to the stories Zhongli told you. Many of them were about Liyue´s culture, history and traditions and although you never really cared for any of that more than basic surface-level, the way he presented them to you as if he had experienced all of those past events himself, had you under some kind of spell.

Meeting Zhongli was a memory you looked back on most fondly, as it was the start to an unlikely but just as delightful friendship. Through him, you learned to appreciate Liyue Harbor´s day-to-day beauty. The scenic glow of the lanterns reflecting in the water or the setting sun painting the cuihua trees a magnificent crimson. Now that you had noticed it for the first time, you simply couldn´t tear your eyes away ever again.

Being in awe at the scenery was as inevitable as taking a breath or thinking of your newfound friend. You couldn´t look anywhere without recalling a story he had told you about the place and it made you feel somewhat guilty.

Begrudgingly, you had acknowledged the tells of your growing affection for the consultant and deep-down you had seen it coming from the start. There was no denying that Zhongli was easily one of the most handsome people you had ever come across and his eloquent way of speaking paired with his gentlemanly mannerisms, certainly didn´t hinder his case.

But he had never made any advances towards you or dropped any hints the attraction was mutual, so you didn´t want to assume anything. Also, the way he seemed genuinely happy to share his knowledge with someone who was willing to listen was so pure and heart-warming, you didn´t want to risk dampening his enthusiasm.

Pulling yourself out of your thoughts with a deep sigh, you noticed how late it had gotten and decided it was best to head home. Passing by the Adventurer´s guild and Chef Mao´s restaurant, you were about to cross the sort of main square of the Harbor as you heard two familiar voices that made you stop in your tracks.

“…yeah, yeah, I get it. But to change topics, how is it going with that friend of yours?” You could practically see the grin on the Harbinger´s face, his tone of voice one that made you want to wipe it off on numerous occasions. You never understood why someone as reputable as Zhongli spent so much time with someone like him but it also wasn´t your place to intervene.

“Our relationship stands as it did last time we spoke, Childe.”

“Awww, consultant, really? I thought we went over this already. You need to ask them out, if you want anything to happen. They don´t seem to be the type to do it themselves.” Was your heart supposed to clench this tightly at the ginger´s words? At least you knew now that you could drown your feelings without regret.

“And I thought we already went over how I´d like to take this at my own pace. An occasion such as this should not be rushed if one wants to reap fruitful results. Yet, I can also understand your excitement over a more direct approach. There were great a many times, I wished for nothing more than to tell them how I feel.”

Praying to Rex Lapis you would blend into the sparse crowd (or for the ground to swallow you whole), you tried to sneak past the terrace of `Third-Round Knockout´ but it seemed to you were out of luck.

“Well, fortunately for you, Mister Zhongli, you might not have to wait long for another opportunity to arise.” Raising his voice and waving his hand in a greeting, you should´ve known better than to try and elude Childe´s keen eyes. “(y/n), come and join us, will you?”

You were too busy mentally scolding yourself for his words to register in your brain. Once you were seated, you looked everywhere but their eyes. Though the flush of your ears apparently gave away that you overheard part of their conversation as the Harbinger gave you a sly grin that couldn´t possibly mean anything good.

“So, Mister Zhongli, where were we? Oh yes, you were telling me about how best to confess your feelings for (y/n) here and as much as I´d like to hear all about it, it seems that I still have some pressing business to attend to. So, as much as it pains me, I will have to bid you both goodbye for now.” He gave you a last gleeful wink as he placed a heavy pouch of Mora on the table and had disappeared not a moment later. The flush on your ears had in return effectively spread to your cheeks and crept all the way down your neck.

From across you, there was a defeated sort of sigh heard. You lifted your gaze just to find Zhongli already looking at you. The way he was studying you just as intensely as ever made it hard to form coherent thoughts, yet, slowly but surely information trickled into your brain. When Childe´s words clicked with you, your eyes went wide as saucers.

“I must admit, I planned to go about this very differently, as you can probably assume. Still, I cannot let a chance like this slip through my grasp. Although coming from someone whose place it was not to disclose such sensitive information, Childe speaks true.” It was a rare sight but Zhongli graced you with a small smile, his gaze softened to something more akin to a sweet toffee rather than cold metal.

“In my life, I have met countless people and I shall meet countless more still. Yet few have intrigued me nearly as much as you have, (y/n). At first, I falsely presumed I merely enjoyed your company as a welcome tranquillity compared to those who encompass me in daily business. I was proven wrong, however, when I could not admire a single glaze lily or an intricately crafted piece of jewellery without wondering which delightful reaction you would offer if they were shown to you. Rather shockingly, I had to realise the city´s glow had dulled significantly, when you weren´t right next to me, your fascinated eyes sparkling brighter than a thousand stars ever could. It is exactly because nothing appears as striking as you that I faced myself, for the first time in a long while, with uncertainty about how to proceed. But with you in front of me tonight, I do not think I could hold myself back any longer, even if I desired to do so. If you´d so please, enlighten me as to whether this feeling is mutual or whether I am overstepping my boundaries.”

Releasing the breath you were holding, you took another deep one to collect your thoughts and to try calm your racing heart. Since there had been no hints for his feelings as far as you were concerned, his confession packed as much of a punch as Xiangling´s last jueyun chilli and pyro slime concoction, although it was much more pleasant and much less stomach ache inducing.

“I´m afraid I can´t express myself just as eloquently as you did, Zhongli, so I´ll keep it simple. I like you, too. I was just too afraid I would make you uncomfortable if I said anything about it. And as much as I´m sorry you were thrown into the cold like this, I´m also very relieved.”

Offering an even gentler smile to you, Zhongli extended his hand with his palm facing upwards. Gingerly fitting your own on top of his, you watch as he placed a tender kiss on your knuckles, much like royalty would. Looking up through his lashes, you thought your heart might have stopped shortly before going into cardiac arrest.

“You could never make me uncomfortable, dearest (y/n). On the contrary, I rarely find myself as at ease as when I am in your company. If you´d indulge me, I´d still very much like to treat you to an outing more befitting of a moment such as this. Much like our first meeting in an unassuming tea shop, this moment too shall shine like gold in my memory forevermore.”

DILUC

Mondstadt´s wine tycoon is known for his stoic and deadpan expression, so it´s poker face all the way

Low-key (high-key) panics on the inside though

Will show a second´s worth of a shocked face, eyes wide and brows raised, but blink and you´ll miss it

After gauging your reaction, Diluc will continue accordingly to how he thinks you´d take the truth about his feelings

“That would be the last one. Thank you both.”

“Don´t mention it, Diluc. I don´t mind helping out, you know that, and I think Venti owes you a helping hand anyway, considering how much of this stuff he drinks.” You shot the bard who already sat perched on some crates nearby a playful glare.

“Ehe, you might be right. Besides the Windblume Festival is coming up and you´re supposed to support your friends and loved ones, isn´t that right? Speaking of which, say (y/n), is there someone you´d like to receive a windblume from?” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Someone sure is nosy. But it doesn´t matter anyway, I normally just get them from my family, so nothing exciting here,” you sighed. You weren´t ungrateful for your relatives and friends to give you a windblume, you actually thought it was rather cute. Yet your heart did clench unpleasantly as you listened to your friends´ stories about lovers or secret admirers sending them flowers.

“Aww, come on, don´t look so glum. The festival isn´t the only way to show your affection, right? Maybe they´re all too shy to give you a flower” He slung an arm around your shoulder and lowered his voice, face all smug “Also, I don´t think Barbatos would mind being the only one receiving a windblume from you, ehe.”

“If Barbara heard you, she would strangle you with your lyre.”

“But I´m not lying, you –“

“Stop bothering, (y/n), bard.” Diluc had come up behind you two, picking Venti up by the scruff of his neck like misbehaving kitten and effectively pulling him off you. Then he turned to you, serious expression seemingly set in stone. “You need to tell him off when he´s being a nuisance, (y/n).”

“It´s okay, Diluc, he was just joking.” The bard raised his hand as if to contradict your statement but was silenced with one intense glare from the red-haired man next to you.

“You´re too nice for your own good, you know that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose while you only sheepishly shrugged your shoulders.

Now that your work here was done, you said goodbye to your friends to return home. Although, as you went to leave, you remembered Venti´s question and without meaning to, your eyes flitted over to Diluc before you caught yourself and immediately went to stare at the ground.

Recently, you had spent more time with Mondstadt´s wine tycoon, often stopping by Angel´s Share when you were done with work, hoping to catch Diluc before most customers started to file in. In return, Diluc would often make time in his busy schedule to invite you for tea at Dawn Winery or to take you out for dinner. So, it was safe to say people saw him out with you quite a lot, especially considering his rather reclusive behaviour most of the time.

After preparations were finished, the time of the actual Windblume Festival arrived. Mondstadt´s streets were decorated with all types of flowers native to the nation; even Wolfhooks were present, courtesy of Bennett and Razor of course. Over the course of the festivities, you received various flowers from your friends and family, spending most of your time weaving flower crowns and binding bouquets for them as well.

Yet, with the sweet also came the bitter and it took your all to keep the green-eyed beast in your chest at bay and be genuinely happy for the people chatting about their romantic experiences. And it made you feel rather guilty. Rationally, you knew you shouldn´t be mad at them, their luck had nothing to do with your disappointment but you couldn´t push down this envy completely.

So, as the festival drew to a close, you were somewhat torn on how to feel about the last day starting. You were sad to see all the beautiful decorations go but a small part of you let out a relieved sigh at not having to deal with the disappointment of your own expectations.

As you opened your front door, however, you almost tripped over a lavish bouquet of dandelions, accented by crimson windwheel asters and pristine cecilias. The tag attached to the flowers only read For (y/n) but nothing to identify who they came from. Your cheeks flushed a light shade of pink as you examined the dandelions, a flower meant to be given to a lover during the Windblume festival.

After placing the flowers in a vase on your dining table, you pondered who could´ve sent them to you. Your thoughts kept drifting towards a certain red-head but you pushed them away as quickly as they came, not wanting to unnecessarily get your hopes up. As expected, when you met your friends that day, the bouquet you found on your doorstep was all the rage.

And it didn´t stop there. Throughout the day, you kept hearing people whisper and you guessed one of your friends snitched because some acquaintances you barely knew would come up and ask whether you already knew the identity of your secret admirer. You passed by the main plaza and saw Donna looking more expectant than she usually did. But, like most, you didn´t think much of it.

You decided to stop by Angel´s Share, thinking Diluc might have time for a quick chat. When you walked by Flora´s shop on your way there, you overheard the girl talking to a woman you didn´t recognise.

“You don´t say? Has that ever happened before? You know, by this point I thought the boy had no romantic bone in his body,” the woman giggled. “But now that you mention it, I did see him around with someone more often, like just out and about, going to restaurants and stuff.”

Knowing you probably shouldn’t pry but also being nosy as hell, you approached the two, greeting Flora. As sneakily as possible, you inquired what they were talking about.

“Oh, honey, listen to this: You know the owner of Dawn Winery, Diluc Ragnvindr, yes? Get this, Flora just told me that he stopped by this morning and bought a bouquet. But that´s not even the best part,” she leaned closer to you and held up her hand to shield her mouth, “it was a dandelion bouquet! Who do you think the lucky girl is? Or do you think it could be a boy?”

“Dandelions, you say? Were there any other flowers in it? Maybe it wasn´t meant for a romantic occasion.”

“No, it definitely was,” Flora piped up, “Sure, there were some asters and cecilias but it was 100% for a lover. Trust me, I´d know.”

At this piece of information, you perked up. It was exactly the type of bouquet you found this morning and judging by the size and quality it definitely must have cost quite a lot. In your circle of possible candidates, there were not many who had the money to spend it on fancy flowers, especially given that, due to the high demand, they sold for a lot more at the end of the festival. Excusing yourself, you headed straight for the tavern but didn´t come far, literally running into the man of the hour.

“(y/n), you should really watch where you´re going.” Diluc steadied you by your shoulders before you could go tumbling to the ground, “But, I have to admit, your timing is impeccable. I was just on my way to see you.”

“What a coincidence, I came to see you too.” You studied his expression, trying to gauge if there was something out of the ordinary maybe, “So, what was it you needed me for?”

“I merely wanted to ask if you´d join me for dinner tonight. I know it´s a rather late request but I thought you might want to see the festivities off with some company.”

“I´d love to, Diluc.” As you started walking next to each other, you contemplated for a bit before deciding to take a leap of faith. “Today is just full of surprises, isn´t it?”

“What brings about this conclusion?” If he knew where you were going with this, then he did an incredible job at hiding it.

“This morning, someone left a dandelion bouquet on my doorstep but no indication who it´s from. It´s a real shame though, the flowers are lovely and I wish I could extend my thanks to whoever gave them to me. It´s been plaguing my mind since I stepped outside.”

He was quiet for a moment before he asked if you had any suspicions on who it could be. At this point, you were starting to lose faith in it actually being Diluc who sent them. His tone was as collected as ever, his expression neutral and mannerisms as poised as they´d always been.

“There was someone but as I thought about it more, I realised it was probably more wishful thinking.” You let out a forced laugh, trying to mask your defeated tone. “Enough about me, what about you? I know you always receive a lot of windblumes, how many did Donna send this year? Did you send one back perhaps? No, wait, can´t be. I saw her still breathing earlier.”

“Very funny, (y/n). And yes, for reasons beyond me, I have received a couple of flowers. Although at this point, that drunk bard is rivalling Donna with the number of cecilias he´s given to me. I think he´s trying to lower his tab. Yet, I have to share your sentiment of a surprise this day brings.” He paused for a second and you urged him to continue. “I found myself doing something I never could´ve imagined doing just a year ago.”

The two of you had stopped in a secluded area, just a couple of streets away from the restaurant you frequented. Diluc turned to you, his crimson eyes fixed on you.

“(y/n), I think we´re both dancing around the edge of the same thought. From what I gathered, you didn´t despise having someone gift you dandelions. Perhaps I am the one engaging in wishful thinking now, but could your reluctance to share your suspicions on who sent them come from you thinking it was me?” The damning shock you just went through must have been visible on your face and you watched as his lips lifted ever so slightly at the corner. “If that is the case, I must congratulate you on coming to the right conclusion. You have to forgive me for not giving them to you in person. Frankly speaking, I did not know how you´d react. I must also apologise for overhearing your conversation with Venti the other day. I hope I did not cross any lines in either instance.”

“Diluc, did you mean it? I mean, the dandelions…I don´t want to jump to any conclusions, you know?”

“The dandelions were no accident if that´s what you´re wondering. I´m not very used to stating my feelings but for you, I can make an exception. It took me some time to acknowledge why I felt so elated whenever you´d come to see me or why I was more annoyed when Kaeya flirted with you of all people. And the answer is as plain as it is simple. I have fallen for you, (y/n).”

“My answer should be plain and simple then as well, right? I´ve fallen for you too, Diluc.” You reached over to intertwine your hands and he let you, slipping his fingers between your own. “What do you say we make this our first date then?”

“That sounds lovely.”

Somehow, you had the inkling there´d be no reason to feel disappointed by the Windblume Festival from now on.

ALBEDO

The head scientist of the Knights of Favonius is usually all logical and rational

However, sometimes he still struggles with his human side and, therefore, his feelings

Subconsciously retreats to his lab on Dragonspine and buries himself in work, contemplating the strange sensation he experiences whenever he sees you

And while he takes a slow and careful approach, there´s someone close to him who doesn´t

After making your way up the seemingly endless flight of stairs, you finally reached the headquarters of the Knights of Favonius, hoping to find their blond head scientist. On your way inside, you ran into Kaeya and decide to ask the cavalry captain if he had seen him.

“Albedo? No, I haven´t seen him around at all lately, so he´s probably on Dragonspine. But if you don´t feel like searching for him any longer, why don´t you just spend your time with me?” he said, lips parting in a cheeky grin. You´ve known Kaeya long enough though for his flirty demeanour to not have any effect on you.

You thank him and leave, unable to keep in a dejected sigh. It had been a week since you last saw Albedo and even then, he only mumbled a quick greeting before rushing past you, head buried in his notes and not sparing you so much as a glance.

Normally, you´d understand. The blond often got lost in his own alchemical world, far beyond where anyone else could follow. But when that happened, he wouldn´t acknowledge anyone or anything. This time, however, he talked to everybody else like he usually would, even answered Timaeus´ questions, just you seemed to be air to him. You tried striking up a conversation once or twice only to receive court responses and a half-hearted excuse to leave.

Leaving the bustling city, you passed the alchemy workstation and saw Timaeus experimenting with whatever Albedo helped him with and it did nothing but sour your mood even further. As expected, your friend was nowhere to be found. That meant he most likely went up the mountains and didn´t tell you. So, that was where you were standing now, huh?

In an effort to calm your mind and move past the acidic thoughts clouding your brain, you settled in the grass near Cider Lake, letting the breeze flow through your clothes and watching dandelion seeds gracefully floating along.

The reasonable part of you knew there shouldn´t be anything to plant such feelings within you. Albedo didn´t have to tell you he´d leave for Dragonspine, you were both adults, after all, it was just that he always did. And frankly, your heart cracked at the memory of him not even acknowledging your presence. You had become close over time and you enjoyed spending time with him, lately even wondering if there might be something mo-

BOOM!!!

Almost jumping out of your skin, you sympathised with the swarm of pigeons taking flight at the loud noise. It was quite faint where you sat but through sheer force of habit, you could even make out the remnants of a blast wave. Yeah, you knew that sound by heart and you also knew what- or rather who- caused it. Rounding the city walls, you found the red-clad culprit laughing merrily at the waves her bomb produced.

“Klee! What are you doing?”

“Oh, (y/n), it´s you! I thought you were Jean.” Turning to you with a bright smile on her face, she made it really difficult to be mad at her. “I´m fish blasting with the new bombs Albedo made with me, do you want to try it too?”

“Uhh, no, I´m good, thank you.” You sat down and were immediately joined by the blonde girl. “Say, Klee, when did you make the new bombs?”

“Hmm, a couple of days ago, before Albedo went up the scary mountain. But he didn´t allow me to come with him.” Feeling just as disheartened as her, though probably for a different reason, you put an arm around her as she clung to your side. Since you spent so much time with Albedo, naturally you and Klee had bonded as well, mostly because you never told on her to the Acting Grandmaster.

“Did he tell you when he would be back?”

“No, he was being a big meanie and said that he had important research to do and that he didn´t know how long it would take. And that nobody should come bother him!” Klee leant in and continued in a conspiratorial voice. “Do you know what I think he´s actually doing?”

You shook your head and urged her to continue.

“I think he´s making a surprise for you!” When you flinched and asked her why she´d think that, her tone shifted to something that made it seem as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Well, he likes you! He´s always talking about you and he always smiles when he does it too! Oh, I saw his sketchbook once and there was a lot of drawings of you in it.”

Klee looked mighty proud with herself, meanwhile, you were still trying to process what she had just sprung on you. So, was it true? Did Albedo actually not hate you? But why then would he be so cold towards you? When you opened your mouth to ask if she was sure, you heard footsteps approaching behind the both of you.

“Klee? Is that y- Oh, (y/n). I didn´t think I´d run into you here.”

You rose to your feet the moment you recognised the person speaking. “Albedo? I thought you were on Dragonspine?”

If he was surprised to see you just a second ago, his voice had already regained its usual calmness. “I just returned, actually. Then I heard the explosion, so I thought I should come and check on Klee.”

You nodded your head and remained silent, not knowing what to say. The moment in which neither of you said anything seemed to stretch on forever and draped itself over you like a suffocating blanket. But before the ground could open to swallow you whole, Klee proved to be your Spark Knight in crimson armour yet again.

“So, big brother, what did you make for (y/n)? Is it a bomb?” When her sparkling eyes were only met with confusion, she bounced up to him. “I told (y/n) that you like them and that you went to make a surprise for them. But it´s okay if you don´t want to give it to them with me around. I´ll go ask Lisa if we can make more gunpowder together!”

Giving you two thumbs up while beaming, the girl made a quick exit and fled the scene. That left only Albedo and you, which prompted you to be fascinated by everything that wasn´t him.

“Well, I guess, I have to come clean now, do I? First of all, I´d like to apologise. I was so busy trying to figure out my feelings that I completely disregarded yours.” He stepped closer and you let him. “I´m sorry, (y/n), please believe me when I say I never meant to neglect you. It was just easier to run than to confront this new sensation I´ve been experiencing. But just because it´s easier doesn´t mean it´s right. Or fair to you. Can you forgive me?”

“I guess, I could do that,” you sighed, “under one condition, though. Next time, just come talk to me. I really thought I did something to anger you.”

“You could never get me to be mad at you.” He gingerly took hold of your hand, waiting for some sort of rejection from you. When there was none, he took the liberty of running his thumb across your knuckles. “I never really understood when people said love felt like butterflies in their stomach. I used to think they were just spouting nonsense. But after I spent more time with you and developed that particular sensation, I thought I had fallen ill at first, until I remembered what people told me about attraction before.”

“Klee might not have been right about why I went to Dragonspine, yet, she was indeed correct about my affection for you, (y/n).” He turned your hand so your palm was facing upwards and gently curled his own around yours. When you opened your fist again, you held a delicate flower that gleamed as if it was an actual gem. “It´s not much of a surprise but I hope you´ll accept it nonetheless.”

Whether he was talking about the flower or his confession, you weren´t sure, yet, it didn´t really matter much, as you didn´t have any intention of rejecting either one. Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, the smile you showed him rivalled the brightness and warmth of the sun.

“Only if you can accept that I´ll come to bother you during your experiments much more often from now on.”

“I´m looking forward to it, love.”

KAZUHA

Kazuha probably had a plan for a confession

We know he´s good with words and flowery language, so you can bet he thought of a really romantic way to show his affection for you

But life rarely goes as we want it to and while his heart sank at first, this samurai is well aware that there´s no use in sticking your head in the sand

So, he´d most likely follow his heart and speak truthfully, you deserve his honesty after all

You´d been looking forward to the Crux Fleet returning to Liyue Harbor because it meant you´d get to see Beidou, the crew and, most important of all, Kazuha again. Every time the ship left the harbour, you were the last person waving them goodbye and every time their sails came into view, you were the first person welcoming them back.

As a kid, you´d often play around on the docks where you met Beidou. Even back then, the later Captain was the coolest kid around and you weren´t the only one to think that way. Her enthusiasm and leadership qualities were already shining through. Although she was a couple of years older than you, she accepted you in her little crew and had been a loyal friend ever since. This connection didn´t break even as Beidou took to the sea more often and you pursued your dreams with solid ground underneath your feet.

It was after one of her voyages to Inazuma that Beidou´s crew had come back to Liyue Harbor stronger in numbers than when they set out. The Crux had rescued a travelling samurai from the Land of Eternity and offered him a place among their ranks.

This was how you were introduced to Kadehara Kazuha. Considering that you were nearly the same age, Beidou was quick to search you out among the crowd. The two of you probably would have been off to a rockier start if it hadn´t been for the captain leading the conversation.

At first, it was hard for you to gauge what topics were okay and which ones were best avoided. Your friend had filled you in on the situation in Inazuma and the circumstances of how they found Kazuha but she believed it best for him to tell his own story and you agreed with her. Although you didn´t know what happened exactly, you could guess it was rather traumatic and not something to be lightly thrown around.

Over time though, Kazuha and you grew closer and conversations flowed more easily. Often enough you´d come aboard the ship to listen to his newest poem or to show him something you thought he might find interesting. The abrupt change between Inazuma and Liyue was quite the culture shock, especially considering how closed off the former was from the rest of Teyvat. So, you´d made it your unofficial mission to help him grow accustomed to his new lifestyle here.

One of the most important steps in your friendship was the night Kazuha told you how he ended up on Beidou´s ship. It was after you had shown him around a Liyue Harbor festival, making him try all sorts of seasonal delicacies and pointing out traditions that inspired the particular stalls.

It was as you went back to the ship that Kazuha had shown you a melancholic expression as he shared his memories of the festivals back in his home country. He´d asked you then if you´d indulge him for a while longer and when you had found a more private spot, he opened up about his past. You didn´t know whether it was the whole story but it didn´t matter to you. You treasured the fact that he trusted you enough to confide in you his most personal and most vulnerable side more dearly than anything else you could possibly possess.

And before you knew it, Beidou wasn´t the only person you´d miss whenever the Crux fleet set sail. People would often say that absence made the heart grow fonder but your heart had never soared so high as in the moment where the ship´s mast broke through the line at the horizon. The only thing growing in Kazuha´s absence was the feeling of loneliness and the longing to see him again.

On this particular day, however, you were just as nervous as you were excited. You realised during your time spent apart from Kazuha that your feelings weren´t strictly platonic anymore and luckily you had had enough time to contemplate what you wanted to do about it. After thorough consideration, you came to the conclusion to confess your feelings for the samurai.

So now, you were rocking on your feet, going over your plan again. You hadn´t really thought about what you were going to say, thinking it was best to do it in the heat of the moment but you thought about roughly 142 excuses to talk to Kazuha more privately. Number 64 was a personal favourite though.

By the time you could make out the faces of the people on the ship, your heart was beating wildly out of your chest as the crowd around you cheered for their friends and family returning home and you were feeling like doing cartwheels when you saw Beidou´ s purple attire next to Kazuha´s white and red hair. Beidou and you were grinning from ear to ear while Kazuha was giving you his trademark genuine smile.

After most of the crew had disembarked to greet their loved ones, you used the chance to slip up the gangplank and tackle-hug your friends. Once you had separated from each other again and had caught up on the most important things that happened, Beidou excused herself to go and meet the other people on the pier waiting to welcome her back.

“So, how have you been? Anything new you found?” you asked, ready to hear about whatever strange situations they certainly came across this time.

“So, we did. What say you join me for a chat? There´s a lot I´d like to share with you and I am just as keen on listening to how you spent your days.”

On your way to his cabin though, he excused himself, saying he had to fetch something quickly and told you to go on ahead without him. Having visited the Crux often enough, you had no trouble finding your way and made yourself comfortable on his bed, thinking about how best to bring up your feelings.

As you stared out the window, something caught your eye. Kazuha´s normally pristine room was littered in crumbled paper balls, the wastebasket next to his desk overflowing. Normally not one to pry, your attention was hooked when a familiar name crossed your vision. Yours to be exact.

You hesitated for a second before picking up the paper and smoothing it out on the bed. On it you found a myriad of started poems with most of them crossed out and left unfinished. The more papers you unfolded, the more poetry you found. They weren´t all the same type, some were haikus, others were sonnets, again others were free verses but what they all had in common was that they described someone very similar to you or straight-up mentioned your name. However, you did not have much time to dwell on it, shoving the papers off the bed as the door slid open.

“(y/n)? What happened-“ It seemed as Kazuha had forgotten these works existed too, his usually calm expression morphing into one of shock. “I´m so sorry. I wasn´t planning on showing you those…”

“No, no, no! It was my fault! I should be the one apologising, Kazuha. I shouldn´t have looked at them, I´m sorry.” Bashfully meeting his eyes, you brought your hand up to soothe your glowing neck and added in a quieter voice “For what it´s worth, I thought they were all very beautiful even if they´re still unfinished.”

For a moment, he only stared back at you before collecting his composure.

“So, you´re not upset about it?”

“No, why would I be?” You patted the spot next to you for him to join you. “Actually, there´s something I´ve been meaning to tell you and I didn´t know how you´d feel about it, so I was really nervous to bring it up. But now, I don´t feel so scared anymore.”

Seeing you fiddle with your fingers, Kazuha took your hands between his own and rubbed soothing circles onto their backs. As he caught your eyes with his own curious ones, a small but gentle smile appeared on his face.

“There´s no need for you to be nervous, you know your thoughts are safe with me. Besides, I do believe we are thinking very much alike in this current situation and have come to similar conclusions.”

“I sure hope so or this is going to be really embarrassing for me,” you chuckle, “Well, here goes nothing. Kazuha, I like you more than just a friend. I´ve realised that while you were away and uhm… wow, I really should´ve planned this out more.”

Your friend´s earnest laugh was bouncing around the cabin but instead of being upset at him laughing at your confession, you couldn´t stop yourself from joining in. When you had both calmed down again, his maple eyes focused back on you.

“It is as we assumed, both of us share the same sentiment. And please, do not feel bad about any imperfections of your statement. In my eyes, coming from you, there is no such thing as a flawed confession. As a matter of fact, you have witnessed that I myself have struggled with finding the right words to express my feelings for you. But now I have learned there is no right or wrong for sharing this affection I feel.”

“You say that you have trouble finding the right words and yet you still manage to be way smoother than me, how is that fair,” you say, nudging his shoulder playfully. “But if you´re still hung up about the poems, I wouldn´t mind hearing some in the future, you know.”

Kazuha mirrored your smile, placing a strand of your hair behind your ear before cradling your cheek with his palm.

“That is relieving to hear because my inspiration seems to have found back to me now that I have found the most enchanting of muses.”

[normally-alexis]

||Choked up

Pairings - Wilbur x Reader

Warnings - Heavily implied NSFW, Gore-related topics, knife kinks, spitting kink, Pain kink.

Summary - Nights before L'manburg was destroyed and Wilbur went insane you meet up with him and stay over.

Word Count: 1927

L'manburg was pretty much peaceful even though Dream and everybody else didn't want it on the server. It wasn't really bothering anybody so far even though some people, it's mainly just a place to get out of the tough rules of the smp.

You hadn't got into much trouble since you were partially on dream smp's side even though you switch sides pretty often. Whichever side would win you would switch to that side because you didn't want to pick sides you'd be a villain in either's eyes.

Hanging out with Tommy was fun even though he was three years younger than you. It wasn't weird since you both had a strong relationship with Wilbur and Philza. Philza was a father figure to all of you even though you weren't in the slightest related.

Growing up with Wilbur and Techno as best friends was pretty amazing, they taught you a few things throughout your teenage years. Philza before adopting Tommy was nicer to the three of you manly you and Techno.

Being the only female was different, you didn't have special perks as a kid, you were treated like a boy just with fewer responsibilities. Thinking back from when you were a kid towards now it was very rare for people to have kids on the smp. People just adopted children when you think about it.

Techno wasn't really in the Dream smp anymore he was with Philza somewhere out there. Tommy and Tubbo were kids and nobody really wanted them to do anything, they were still sorta young so they just joined L'manburg.

Nothing to stress about at the moment, still being one of the youngest adults of the smp gave you very few privileges. You had to take advantage of them while they lasted at the moment. Since it wasn't safe to live in L'manburg or on the Dream smp you had a bunker underground.

Why wasn't it safe? Anybody who picks sides cannot change that side, if you were on L'manburg's side you would be a big target considering you did have a private association with Dream.

You were underground sorting out some armor and some blueprints, you always have to move a lot if anybody ever saw you so why not be prepared? You kept sketching and erasing multiple times until you age up and burnt it.

The smoke was pretty bad to inhale so you move to an area where there wasn't much smoke at. It's pretty much clouding up the bunker and you start coughing, it's not that bad so you grab a potion and throw it on the burning blueprints.

It's not clouded up anymore even though you could have let it burn out. You drop your armor and weapons on the ground because you wouldn't be needing it at the moment. making your way over to your seat you sit down and look at all the notes in your notebook.

Flipping through the pages seeing if you found any notes you probably had written but most likely forgot were noted down. You stop at a page because it wasn't remembered from last time, it's a note from an anonymous person saying to come to the back of L'manburg.

You look back to see if anybody's there even though there's clearly nobody there. It must have been written early when you had left out. You push your chair out and then stand up, You take a moment and hesitate to think if you should do it or not.

It's a win and lose situation but what's life without a few risks? You leave from the seating of the area and walk over towards the ladder. Before climbing up the ladder you turn the lights off not wanting to draw any unwanted attention.

You grab onto the ladder and push yourself up placing your legs on the ladder, you climb up the ladder. Once you reach the top you push the top open and the trap door was forced open, you place one hand on the ground and place another hand on the ground.

You push yourself up and get on the top of the surface part of the ground. You take a small breathe and close the top. You push yourself up from off of the ground, you knew where L'manburg was since it was a pretty often visit.

You move throughout all the leaves and in vines, it's pretty normal to walk through it all. A few thoughts crossed your mind thinking about it, Dream wouldn't try contacting you that way he'd just catch you in the middle of the Dream smp and pull you to the side.

Thinking about meeting in L'manburg it would only be Tommy, Tubbo, Wilbur, Eret, Fundy, or Niki. It's not really Important who invited you but you really did want to know. You walk over to the area of the Dream smp and pass Tommy's house. It's pretty abandoned but you didn't bother starring at it too long.

You walk past it and walk towards the bridge that usually leads to L'manburg, you stop for a moment and hear a singing noise. It's not anywhere in sight per say but it's loud enough to hear. It's within the walls beside you and you put your ear on the wall.

It's more of a humming sound, you remove your ear from the wall and roam your hands along it. You hit a button along the wall not surprised but the wall opens up and the humming is more clear.

You enter inside of the cobblestone room not really expecting anything. The floor made a little sound when you entered inside of the room. You look on the ground and there's a few blood clots on the floor and some guts along with it.

You cover your mouth backing yourself backing into the corner. You sorta had a dislike of blood, not Hemophobia but it wasn't your favorite to be in a room filled with something dead. You look up and see Wilbur finishing cutting something up.

He already heard you since you had entered the room. He turns around and removes his gloves which were stained with blood. It's not a human thankfully but it's a dead animal, still very uncomfortable in this situation.

Wilbur looks up at you not very surprised  up at the moment, " What's wrong?" The whole display itself was wrong. You uncover your mouth smelling all the disgusting rotting corpses, "You're killing animals and letting them rot," How is he not disgusted? You roam around the room seeing more dead animals.

Wilbur tries explaining himself while coming towards you, but you get very distracted by all the blood splatter on the ground and much more graphic stuff. You weren't looking at him meaning that he knew your attention wasn't on his apology.

He grabs your hair and tugs on it making you shift your attention at him. Pulling and tugging on your hair really hurt because it's like being forced by Wilbur. As tough as you seemed whenever you had armor on being without armor is a completely different story.

"What's wrong tell me, you had a lot of nerve coming from somebody who would fuck literally anybody attractive enough," It's very weak of you to get degraded by somebody who doesn't even know how to defend himself.

"Or anybody who even found you attractive," You knew your worth but whenever somebody tells you something about criticizing yourself you'd just believe it and fix yourself. Was he right? You can't answer that yourself.

You had gone pretty silent and it causes Wilbur to get more aggressive with you. He knees your in your stomach not damaging your internal organs but it just made you feel weak and you tremble on your knees.

You grip onto your stomach squeezing it together, He's treating you like complete shit. He stops kneeing you and he pinches your cheek practically teasing you. You weren't even supposed to be meeting Wilbur at the moment.

Responding would get you in trouble and not responding would get you in more trouble. He's very agitated at the moment and he grabs the pocket knife from his pocket putting it towards your thigh.

"Can I Carve our Initials on your thigh," He asks you, You weren't too fond of punishment but you did like the attention being craved. You nod your head slightly and he removes his hand from your hair.

He grabs onto your thigh and you fall down stinging your back. He slowly starts carving your initials on your thigh, you don't make the loud noises you want to because he'll just end up cursing you out.

You wanted to curse so badly even though you liked it when he inflicted the pain, But why was it only acceptable when he did it. He was only done carving the 'W' halfway, you flinch and he messes up.

It a swerved 'W' and it looks very crossed out, He's upset with you and gets up from squatting. You try communicating with him, "Wilbur?" He's not necessarily listening to blocking out the thoughts.

He puts his foot in between your legs pushing it further near your shorts, His shoes against your clit. You can't tell what his original thoughts are, before you can even react he kicks you in your side. You fall on your face gripping onto your lower half, it's like a period without the loose blood clots.

He squats down and grabs onto your hair pulling you up making you look up at him, "Such a slut aren't you darling?" He spits on your face and it drips off of your face on the ground, is this really who you were such a despite slut that you would let a man do this to you?

Most definitely, you try smiling at him but it's a half-smile since you were in pain. "You holding up good slut?" He asks while looking you in your eyes, you nod as a response and try getting off of your sides.

You weren't damaged that badly you could always heal from it... He lets go of your hair once you were stable enough to stay on your knees. He takes his belt off and takes his pants down, he places the belt around your neck and ties it.

He takes his boxers off and grabs his dick which was already erected due to sadism. "C'mon slut, suck," He tugs on the end of the belt and you put your mouth on his dick, following rules in such a bad position in your life. Never would you have thought you would be sucking off Wilbur..

You take it slow at first not wanting to rush it since you weren't experienced as much, you mainly focus on the tip of his cock and rub your tongue over and over on his slit. Whenever he feels like he would release something he tugged on the belt making you gag on him.

It was hard to take him and focus on not being choked up by his belt, He's not the strongest of keeping his moans in. He climaxes inside of your mouth and some gets on your cheek, He wipes the semen off of your face.

"Is this okay darling?" he kisses your cheek and helps you clean yourself up, at least he did aftercare..

[ecoamerica]

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[fics-n-stuff]

Affluenza | Pt2

Pairing: JJ × Kook!Reader

Summary: Y/N celebrates her birthday with a party that she didn't want to throw and finds out a sad truth about the boy that's not quite her boyfriend, but being in each other's company makes things at least a little better.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and descriptions of injury, reference to drugs

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: I'm so happy that so many people liked pt1!! It means the absolute world to me that people are reading and enjoying my work 🥰 Pt3 might take a little longer to get out, but I'll try to post it asap.

Taglist: @alotbnouf @fairypitou @305weasley @thecraziestcrayon @sofamochi @arvinrussellseggplant

Thanks for reading guys ❤

Pt1 here | Pt3 here

“Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday on Saturday!?” JJ exclaimed, letting go of your hand and sitting up from where you had both been lying on the deck of your boat.

“I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” You replied with a laugh. “I kinda just forgot to mention it.”

“But what if I wanted to buy you a present?”

“I don’t need a present from you JJ.” You smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek and pulling him down for a kiss.

The two of you had been dating for a couple of months now, and although you very much considered yourselves to be together neither of you had said the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ yet. The time you spent together was private, you kept it a secret from everyone; you didn’t want your family to know and he was hesitant to tell his friends, exactly why you weren’t sure but you didn’t want to pry. It wasn’t as if you were sneaking around, you were just being careful.

“I have plenty things already, your company is enough.” You said, pulling away from the kiss and sitting up yourself. “But unfortunately I won’t be able to see you on my actual birthday. Mom’s making me throw a party and every teenager on Figure Eight will be there, so I doubt you’d want to come.”

“I wouldn’t be welcome even if I did want to.” JJ chuckled. You hummed in agreement.

“That’s why I wanted to celebrate today.” You chirped, getting up to retrieve a cooler that you had brought with you.

“What’s in there?”

“A special birthday picnic.”

“Oh, I see.” He grinned as you took your seat opposite him again. “And what does that consist of?”

“Well, let’s have a look.” You opened up the cooler and looked in at what you had packed with a smile. “Of course the standard picnic items; sandwiches, fruit, some baked sweets.” You listed as you took them out of the cooler. “And then, as I learned from my mother, a young lady cannot celebrate her birthday without a bottle of champagne.”

“Fancy.” JJ nodded, taking the bottle from you.

“Not as fancy as these.” You said, taking the glasses out. “Crystal champagne flutes. I snuck them out of the cabinet. We only use them for the most special of occasions and my mom loves them so we have to be careful.”

“I can be careful.” JJ poured the champagne, and you clinked your glasses with a smile. “Happy early birthday.”

“This is a much better celebration than my party will be.” You sighed, finishing your sip and setting your glass down. “I don’t understand why my mom insists that I have to have one, I’m not actually friends with anyone that’s coming.”

“But I thought you said every kid on Figure Eight was going? You’re not friends with anybody?”

“No, not really. They’re all just so fake, I can’t stand it. I genuinely don’t think that any of them are really friends with each other and they’re just constantly pretending, but I can’t be bothered to pretend.” You rolled your eyes and JJ laughed.

“Sounds exhausting.” He smiled.

“What are your friends like, J?” You asked, genuinely just curious. He told you a bit about them, stories of the crazy stuff they had done, but you never got in depth about it. You felt like it was probably because he wasn’t ready to integrate the two parts of his life.

“They’re good.” He nodded. “I mean, we’re basically family. They’re just not the biggest fans of Kooks.”

“Well, neither are you.” You giggled.

“You know what I mean. I think you’d like them, I’m just worried that they wouldn’t want to give you chance.”

“How much do you bet I could win them over just like I did you?”

“I wouldn’t love it if you won them over exactly the same way as me.” He smirked, gently taking hold of your chin and pulling you in for a kiss, which you both laughed into. “I'm gonna get you a birthday present. What if I come by on Saturday just for a minute to deliver it?”

“You know I’ll be happy to see you, but nobody else at the party will.”

“Eh, who cares.” He shrugged, and you grinned broadly.

“Okay, if you insist.” You conceded. “Now let’s eat this picnic that I so painstakingly curated.”

+ + +

Your birthday party was in full swing, the ground floor of your house teeming with teenagers. People were drinking, dancing and jumping in the pool and you weren’t enjoying any of it.

Your mother had gifted you a particularly ugly necklace that was basically just a tangle of gold chain, and Nicholas had openly bad mouthed your father for only getting you a few books, even though that’s what you had asked for. The detest that you felt for him was justified. Your dad was actually supposed to have arrived back on the island the day before, but it wasn’t unusual for him to get held up with work.

You pushed past a group of boys having some loud conversation on your way into the kitchen and poured yourself a strong drink. You threw the drink back in one gulp and slammed the plastic cup back down onto the countertop with a loud sigh.

“What’s wrong, birthday girl?” Topper asked over the music, his arm slung around Sarah’s shoulders as they came up beside you.

“I’m fine.” You shrugged.

“Did your dad get you a good present this year?” Sarah asked with a smile. “A new car maybe?”

“I already have a car.” You replied with a flat chuckle. “He got me some books that I asked for.”

“That’s kinda boring.” Topper commented. You rolled your eyes and Sarah smacked him in the side.

“I think that’s sweet. What kind if books?”

You told Sarah about the books you had gotten, actually kind if enjoying the conversation. Sarah was actually pretty easy to talk to, you felt like the fact that you weren’t putting on an act made her kind of drop hers, and it was a refreshing break from the way that the rest of the teens on Figure Eight were constantly pretending to be the perfect versions of themselves.

Your explanation of the premise of one of your books was interrupted when you felt your phone ringing in your pocket. You took it out and saw that it was your dad, and you smiled.

“I gotta take this.” You excused quickly before rushing outside to get away from the music. You answered the call excitedly, greeting your dad with a bright tone.

“Hey, Pumpkin, happy birthday!” He exclaimed. “I’m sorry I didn’t call this morning, I got caught up in meetings. You know how it is.”

“I know, dad. It’s okay, you’re calling now. Are you done with work? Do you think you’ll get here tonight?” You questioned eagerly. You heard him let out a sigh, and your smile fell.

“About that, sweetheart, I’ve had a few bumps in the road.” He began. You felt your heart sink and you were already scolding yourself for getting your hopes up before he could even tell you what the reason for missing your birthday was. “My meetings haven’t gone as well as I’d hoped and it looks like I’m going to be held up for a few more days.”

“Oh, right, okay.” You nodded, keeping your voice steady even as your eyes welled with tears. “Hope things get better then.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I really did want to be there. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get back; we can have a movie marathon night, completely your pick.” You let out a chuckle despite yourself. He might not be around much but he still knew you well, and movie marathon nights were one of your favourite things to do with him.

“Sounds great, dad. I can’t wait.”

“I hope you’ve had a good day, at least. What have you been getting up to?”

“I’m having a party, actually.” You replied. You didn’t need to tell him that you didn’t want to have the party and weren’t actually really enjoying it.

“Right now? I’ll let you get back to it then.” Your dad smiled down the phone. “Have fun.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Love you, Pumpkin.”

“Love you too.”

You said your goodbyes and ended the call, and you tucked your phone back into the pocket of your shorts. You just stood there for a few moments, the loud music and whooping of partying teenagers emanating from the house, before tears began to fall. You shook with a silent sob and had to take a seat on the concrete of your driveway.

You sat there, with your legs pulled up to your chest and your head in your knees, for a few minutes. You sniffed, wiping your tears away on the back of your hand, when you heard a shuffle of footsteps and looked up quickly.

“JJ.” You acknowledged quickly, furiously wiping at your eyes as he walked up the driveway.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked, his voice edged with concern. You were ready to brush away his concerns, but as he got closer you saw the bruising on his face and suddenly you had some worries of your own.

“What happened to you?”

“I asked first.” JJ countered. You watched him as he came to sit down next to you, lifting your hand and softly placing it just below his purpled cheekbone, inspecting the fresh bruising around his eye and the split in his lip, then noticing the discolouration around his collarbone. He took the hand away gently, intertwining your fingers, and you saw that there was no bruising on his knuckles; these weren’t injuries earned in a fair fight. “Why are you crying?” He repeated.

“No, that doesn’t matter.” You shook your head. You weren’t trying to downplay your upset anymore, you just knew that whatever had happened to JJ was more important. “Who did this to you, JJ?”

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” He smiled, but there was no joy or amusement behind it. You hesitated for a moment before conceding.

“My dad missed my birthday again.” You told him. “The last time he actually made it home for my actual birthday was when I turned eleven, and yet somehow I still get my hopes up every year. I hate this party, there are at least three different types of club drugs being taken in my house right now, I’m sad. You’re turn.”

JJ sighed. He looked down at your joined hands, pausing to think for a moment before looking back up at you. He let out a short breath of soft laughter, lifting his free hand and smoothing his thumb over the crease that had formed on your brow.

“Promise not to freak out?” He asked.

“Okay.” You replied shakily. You could try to limit your reaction at least. “But you have to tell me the truth, J.”

“My dad hits me.” JJ said quickly, and you felt your lips part in shock. “I stay with John B most of the time, I try to stay out of his way when I’m home, but it’s not like I can avoid him completely.”

“Wha- Why don’t you tell somebody?” You stuttered. “Call the police or protective services or-?”

“I don’t want to.” He interrupted. “I’m happy here with my friends and if I get protective services involved then they’ll ship me off to the mainland. I can deal with my dad.”

“This doesn’t look like dealing.” You muttered softly, pushing the collar of his t-shirt to the side to get a better look at the bruise that it was partially covering. “When is this from?”

“Yesterday. I went home to get some money so I could buy you this.” JJ shifted to reach into his pocket and pulled out a small, flat box. “It’s not much but it’s all I could afford.”

You took the box from him curiously, unlinking your hand from his so that you could pull off the lid. Inside was a small silver necklace, a thin chain with a small circular pendant. When you lifted it up you saw that the pendant had a map of the world etched into it. The necklace was simple and sweet, and you felt a big smile take over your face.

“You didn’t have to get me this, J.” You simpered.

“I told you I wanted to.” He smiled back. You handed the box back to him and turned to face away, and JJ eagerly fastened the chain around your neck. He struggled a little with the tiny clasp, making you giggle. His hands ran over your shoulders before he dropped them, and you turned back to him with the smile gone from your face.

“You went through that just so you could buy this for me?” You murmured. JJ's smile faltered but didn’t fall, and he nodded slightly.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. It’s just what happens.”

You sat silently for a little while, but your peaceful moment was interrupted by a loud round of cheering from inside. You looked over your shoulder towards the house with a groan, but then lightened up when you got an idea.

“You wanna get away from this bullshit?” You asked, gesturing towards the party.

“You wanna leave your own birthday party?” He asked with a chuckle. You shrugged.

“Nobody will notice that I’m gone. I’ll just have to come back at, like, midnight to kick everybody out.”

“Okay, then let’s go.” JJ smiled.

“Alright. Give me one minute.” You giggled, getting up quickly. “Just wait here a sec.”

You ran back into the house and pushed past all of the people to the stairs, heading up to your bedroom. You had kept the door locked to keep out horny couples. You rooted through one of your drawers until you found a set of keys, switched out of your party sandals to a pair of converse, and grabbed your car key off of your vanity before heading back out, making sure to lock your door behind you again.

You paused on the stairs to scan the crowd until you spotted Sarah, and pushed past the bodies towards her.

“Y/N! Where’d you go?” She shouted over the music.

“Just outside. I’m gonna disappear from the party for the bit, can you call me if something major happens?” You asked. Sarah frowned.

“But this is your birthday party.”

“I know it’s weird, but I’ve got some other stuff going on right now and I just need to get away for a bit.”

“Okay, I guess that makes sense. I’ll call you if anything happens.” She nodded, though the confusion was still clear on her face.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” You smiled, before heading back out.

JJ was stood at the side of the driveway waiting for you when you came back out, slamming the front door shut after yourself. You grabbed his hand and pulled him after you to your car with a smile.

“Where are we going?” He questioned as you started the engine and began backing out.

“My other house.” You answered.

“Sorry, did you say ‘other house’?”

“My dad’s house. He hasn’t been home in eight months and I haven’t been there in about five, but a cleaner comes by every two weeks to maintain it.” You explained.

“Jesus you’re rich.” JJ mumbled. He had a teasing smile on his face but the comment made you feel a little guilty.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to show off or anything. We don’t have to go to my dad’s if you don't want-"

“Y/N, it’s fine.” He laughed. “You didn’t choose to be born into a rich family the same way I didn’t choose to be born into a poor one.”

“I know, I just don’t want to be... insensitive isn’t the right word. I just don’t want to seem like I take it for granted; I don’t want you think that I’m that kind of person.”

“I don’t.” He assured you. “You don’t treat me like I’m any different for being poor, so I don’t care that you’re rich.”

It wasn’t long until you were pulling into the driveway of your dad’s house. It was grand and expensive looking, but it was still smaller than your mom’s; she had kept the house after the divorce and since your dad wasn’t even home most of the time he’d decided that he didn’t need quote so much space.

The inside was modestly decorated, no elaborate sculptures or outlandish wall decorations like so many of the other houses on Figure Eight. The furniture was very nice, and the few paintings and things that were on the walls were expensive, but your father was a man of simple taste. He didn’t even have any fancy chandeliers.

“I expected something more opulent for the richest man in the Outer Banks.” JJ commented as he looked around.

“Since when was opulent a word in your vocabulary?” You questioned with a giggle. JJ gasped, and pinched you in the side with a frown.

“I’m not completely dumb.” He objected.

You laughed, grabbing his hand and dragging him after you into the living room. You flicked on the light before dropping yourself onto the sofa and pulling JJ down with you.

“What kind of movies do you like?” You asked him as you picked up the remote and switched on the TV.

“Uh, I don’t know, action and horror.” He shrugged.

“What kind of horror? Slasher? Psychological? Paranormal?”

“I don’t know.” He chuckled. You gave an exaggerated sigh, going into the horror section on Netflix.

“Fine, I guess I’ll pick.”

You ended up putting on The Blair Witch Project after discovering that JJ had never seen it, and the two of you settled down. You were thankful to be away from the crowded mess of your birthday party and just have a quiet night with JJ.

“But I don’t understand how they managed to make it scary, basically nothing happened.” JJ perplexed after the movie ended.

“Yeah, that’s why it’s genius.” You grinned up at him. Throughout the course of the film you had ended up lying across the sofa with your head resting on his lap. “All of the horror is in the fact that you know that something this out there but you never see it. Modern horror movies could never.”

“That’s crazy bro.” He said, making you laugh. He looked down at you with an amused smile and a sparkle in his eye that made your heart jump.

“Do you wanna stay here for the night?” You offered once your laughter subsided. “I’m sure my dad has some stuff in his closet that you can sleep in.”

“Are you sure? I mean, don’t you have to go home?”

“Nah, my mom and Nicholas are staying at a hotel tonight so that I can have my party so they won’t know that I’m not there.” You shrugged. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’d like to stay.” He smiled. You let out a relieved breath that you didn’t realise you’d been holding.

“Cool. I need to go and kick everyone out of my house but we can watch another movie when I get back if you want?”

“Sounds good to me. Do you want me to come with you?”

“Probably best if you don’t, you know, with the whole ‘every Kook on the island is there’ thing.” JJ laughed lightly at that.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He nodded. “Can I have a shower while you’re gone.”

“Sure.” You chuckled as you sat up. “You can use my en suite and I’ll get you something to change into.”

You took him upstairs, grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts from one of your dad’s drawers before showing him into your room. It was plainly decorated like the rest of the house, but you had posters and photos tacked up and covering almost every inch of the walls.

“This is nice.” JJ smiled, looking around.

“Don’t go snooping around while I’m gone, a person’s bedroom is their kingdom.”

“I’ll mind my own business.” He agreed with a salute that made you grin.

“And make sure you dry off properly, I don’t want you dripping all over my nice carpet.”

“Jeeze, any more rules?”

“Uh, nope. I think that’s it.” You chirped. “I should be back in, like, half an hour. I’m pretty sure I left some chicken nuggets in the freezer last time I was here, you can have those if you get hungry. Or maybe I’ll get takeout on my way back?”

“Takeout sounds good.” JJ nodded, beaming, and pulled you in for a kiss before you left.

[islesnucks]

DON'T MOVE ON - QUINN HUGHES X READER

here is the hughesy angst i promised, i cannot believe i wrote it that quickly

likes and reblogs are always appreciated, hope you like it!

Word count: 2.5 k

Warnings: just a bunch of angst and then fluff

Summary: a month after a huge fight that ended your relationship you find out from Brock that Quinn hasn’t been able to move on too

Masterlist

Add yourself to the taglist!

Today marked a full month since the fight that ended it all. You’d like to say you couldn't remember how it happened, how things got so out of proportion you ended up breaking up, but you did. You still remembered every painful detail.

It had been a long day, those that just drain you physically and emotionally to the point you want to get home and sleep so it's finally over. But you didn’t do that because the canucks were playing that night and you thought maybe watching the game at your boyfriend’s apartment and waiting for him to get back after it ended would make you feel better. You were wrong.

The canucks lost that night, it wasn’t a huge loss, just by one goal, a power play goal made by the other team after Quinn had taken a penalty. He obviously put the blame on himself and when he got home things got worse.

With both of you in bad moods things were meant to get nasty, but you never thought it would have reached the point it did. It started as a small fight but quickly things escalated. You knew you didn’t mean the things you were saying, but you weren’t thinking clearly. Suddenly all the little stuff that bothered you about each other started to accumulate and when he said you didn’t support him enough that was the last straw.

How could he say that when you were standing right in front of him in his apartment after having watched his game and waited for him? Even when all you wanted was to go to sleep and forget that day had even happened.

“I can’t believe you just said that. Seriously Quinn I do so much for you and this is how you pay me?”

“Then maybe if I’m such a bad boyfriend we should break up.” He knew that’s not what he wanted, but anger took over and he wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt him seconds ago.

“Maybe we should.” you quickly replied and the room went silent. You looked at him, internally begging him to say he didn’t mean it, but nothing happened. The silence was deafening.

“Ok then. It’s over.” you finally said, already gathering your purse and leaving his apartment. Not having enough strength to give him a final look as you shut the door behind you and rushed out of the building.

You didn’t cry as you walked to your car or in the drive home, it was like you were on automatic mode, you just drove to your place in silence without a thought in your head.

But once you were inside your apartment it all dawned on you. Your vision got blurry and you let out a suffocated breath. Your legs stumbled and you fell down on the floor with your back against the wall, unable to take in everything that had happened. It was over.

That happened a month ago. You hadn’t talked to Quinn ever since that night. It had been the hardest month of your life. You didn’t realize he was such a huge part of your life till he wasn’t there at night to hold you as you sleep, making you a cup of tea while you studied, pointing at you in the crowd after a goal, rushing out of the lockers straight to your arms after a game, stroking your hair as you lied on his chest to help you relax after a stressful day. He wasn’t there anymore and you missed him with every bone in your body; but he never reached and you were too afraid to see him only to discover he was doing completely fine without you.

Focusing on your studies and work made it easier, you discovered if you had your head occupied the whole day you didn’t think of him. But nights were the hardest, lying alone in your bed with only your thoughts would make your mind go back to that dreadful night and you’d end up crying yourself to sleep. That empty feeling would turn from sadness to anger and vice versa, but no matter how hard you tried to get over him you couldn’t.

That’s why after weeks of pure silence it surprised you when you received a call from Brock. You debated on whether to answer or not, but figured if he called after all this time it was important.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N” he answered. “How are you?” You could tell he was hesitant.

“I’m … good I guess.” you replied followed by a long silence. “Why are you calling Brock?” you finally asked, wanting the exchange to be over.

Brock didn’t know how to phrase it, he knew why he was calling and what needed to be said, but he simply didn’t know how to say it without you immediately ending the call after hearing his name.

“It’s about Quinn- please don’t hang up!” he was quick to add.

“What about Quinn?” you asked. It felt weird to talk about him out loud, something you hadn’t even done with your friends.

“He 's bad Y/N. Really bad. He won’t come out of his apartment, only for practices and games, and then he rushes back home and we don’t see him again. We’re really worried about him, all the team and his friends, even his family. He hasn’t been calling them like he used to and Jack had to basically convince their mom not to take the first plane here to check up on him. Even Brady hasn’t been able to get to him. Plus he’s been shit on the ice lately, taking stupid penalties and getting into fights, he’s one bad game away from getting benched.”

“I get it Brock but I don’t know what you want me to do. It’s not my job to fix him.” you told him. The thought of Quinn suffering alone in his apartment broke your heart but after all he was the one who decided to end things and never reached you after it. You knew it was your pride talking, but he had put himself in this position.

“I know, I know. I’m not asking you to forgive him for whatever it is he did. Honestly we’re kind of out of the loop here because he won’t tell us what happened between you two. But please I’m begging you, talk to him. You don’t have to get back together, but I think he needs some type of closure or something. He can’t keep doing like this Y/N.”

You could tell by his voice he was genuinely worried, and you were sure this is something he had talked about with the rest of the team and friends. You hated to admit it but Quinn still had a place in your heart and right now it ached at the thought of him drifting away from his family and friends and even failing at the job of his dreams when maybe a simple talk could help him. So you decided to push your grudge aside, but not completely.

“I have a box with his things, tell him I’ll go by his place to return them and then we can talk.” you said, thinking that the box of his belongings you had packed some days ago and sited by the door waiting for the moment you were strong enough to give them back to him would be a good enough excuse. That was not the answer Brock expected but he knew it was the best he would get.

“Thank you Y/N. I know this isn’t easy for you, but thank you so much.” You hanged up.

-

You stood on the hallway in front of his door after knocking, waiting for him to answer. You kept repeating to yourself everything would be fine, that seeing him again after a month wouldn't be as hard as you thought, but the moment the door opened and your eyes connected with his, your heart stopped.

He looked like shit. Tired eyes, heavy dark circles around them, messy hair and you’d bet he had been wearing that old shirt and sweatpants for at least three days. You were also surprised to see that he was shocked you were standing on his doorway.

“Y/N?”

“I told Brock I’d stop by today.” you explained.

“You spoke with Brock?” he asked and then you understood his friend hadn’t informed him of everything.

“Yeah he called me yesterday to talk about … well about you.” you said, unsure if telling him you talked about him was the right thing to do. He nodded, still a bit confused but didn’t say anything. “Can I …” you said, gesturing to the inside of the apartment.

“Oh yeah sure.” He moved to the side to let you in. “Sorry about the mess.”

You walked into the all too familiar apartment where you had spent many days and nights, but now it didn’t feel like home anymore. The curtains were almost shut completely allowing little to no natural light at all inside, there were some clothes on the sofa and dirty dishes piling up in the sink. 

“So I’m guessing Brock forgot to tell you I’d stop by to drop this.” you said putting down the box on his coffee table.

“He probably did it on purpose. If I knew he was going to call you I’d have stopped him.” he simply said, like it wouldn’t be a dagger to your heart to hear he didn’t want to see you. Maybe after all he wasn’t doing so bad, or maybe it wasn’t because of you.

“If you didn’t want to see me I can go-” You started to turn around, ready to once again leave his apartment brokenhearted like many days ago, but his hand on your wrist stopped you.

“No! It’s not that I don’t want to, it's just that … it’s hard.”

“Hard?”

“Yeah Y/N, hard. I haven’t seen you for like a month. After that fight you just left and I never saw you again.”

“Well you never reached out Quinn.”

“You didn’t either.”

“Yeah but you were the one that decided to break up. You want me to process my boyfriend breaking up with me and then also call to check up on him?”

His hand was still on your arm, making you stand close to each other, so close that you could tell how his posture changed after hearing what you had said.

“I’m sorry about that, about the break up and about every other stupid thing I said that night. You were the best girlfriend I could have asked for.” he said looking into your eyes. You could tell he was being sincere and that softened something inside of you.

“I also said some stupid stuff I didn’t mean. We were too caught up fighting to actually think what we were saying.”

“I’m sorry.” he almost whispered before letting go of your arm and quickly wrapping his arms around your body.

You were surprised at first but didn’t hesitate to hug him back. By the way you were hugging, with his head low into your neck and your arms around his frame, it looked more like you were consoling him, and in a way that’s what was happening. At one point you noticed he was crying, you couldn’t see him but you felt the warm tears against your skin and the way his chest shook between your arms as he tried to hold it in but failed.

“If I could take it all back I would, I really would.” he mumbled against your neck in between sobs. You started crying too, unable to keep on pretending you were fine anymore, unable to keep on pretending you didn’t care.

“I miss you so much Y/N.”

“You do?” you asked, genuinely surprised to hear him say it.

“Are you kidding me?” He pulled away from you to look you in the face, but your arms stayed on each other. “Look at me, look at my apartment. I’m a mess without you. I miss you every second of the day, there isn’t a moment when I’m not thinking about you Y/N. I mean I’m doing so horribly I’ve got everyone worrying about me: my friends, my family, my team.”

“You never called so I thought you had moved on.”

“I didn’t. I can’t move on from you and even if I could I don’t think I want to”

You looked at the mess of a man standing in front of you, crying in your arms, telling you he regretted everything, he missed you. It was clear to see he had suffered as much as you had for the past month. There was no doubt in your mind you still loved him, you tried to push it away but there it was, strong as ever, beating deep in your heart. So you decided to go for it, let yourself be weak one more time and if it didn’t work out then that’s something you’d have to deal with later; but if it did you knew it would be extraordinary.

“Then don’t.” you said and he looked down at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t move on.”

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked, eyes getting bright with hope at the thought maybe it wasn’t all lost.

“I’m willing to try again if you are. I still love-” you started to say but he cut you off mid sentence moving his hands to your face and your words died in his lips.

It felt familiar, like coming back home after a long trip. Both your eyes were closed, enjoying the kiss, savoring every second of it. Tears started rolling down your faces and you could taste them on each other's lips. Tears of joy because neither of you could believe this was actually happening.

“I love you.” he said once you pulled away to breathe, foreheads touching and lips millimeters away. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” he kept on repeating with the brightest smile on his face. You giggled before connecting your lips once again for another kiss, something you could never get tired of.

This time his hands moved to your sides, lifting you up in his arms as you wrapped your legs around him and let out a surprised squeal between the kisses. He walked over to the couch, threw away the clothes that were there with one hand holding you close to him with the other, to then swiftly lay on it with you on top of him.

“I’m never letting you go again.” he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head as you nestled yourself between his arms with your head on his chest.

“That’s fine by me.” you replied, earning a sweet laugh from him.

-

tagging those who asked or seemed interested:

@lovingbrock @mellany1997​ @timothyjimothy74 @itoldmycatsaboutyou @stlbluesbrat @dermybaby​ 

[juletheghoul]

Oblivius Chapter 6

So I'm thinking next chapter will be... a big one.

You cannot know how happy I am to see all your comments and reblogs and messages and general kind words about how this story is making you feel. Love y'all. Keep asking! Keep messaging! I want to talk about this all day lmao.

Likes & reblogs are appreciated

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Angst, slow-burn, yearning, 18+ language (Please let me know if I forget anything)

Masterlist Series Masterlist Prev Part Next Part Playlist

--------------

Age: 20

“Why did you even ask me out Frankie? Do you even like me?” She was embarrassed, walking towards the door.

“Yes of course, I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t.” He tried to walk it back but she was incensed, her cheeks burning bright with anger. She rounded on him when she got to the door, making him step back slightly from her onslaught.

“When you invited me over to meet your friends I didn’t expect to be ignored so you could flirt with her. Get your shit together Frankie, I’m not gonna go out with someone who’s too busy pining over someone else to notice me.” Her eyes were bright with un-shed tears, if she expected some sort of answer or explanation - he had none.

He watched her go.

“Everything okay Francis?” Spills had come looking for him.

“Yes, everything’s good. She had to go.” He had a big smile for her when he turned around.

“Will she be back?” Thankfully she hadn’t heard them.

“I doubt it.” He couldn’t be too sad about it though, not when she looked up at him like that.

——————

**Present Day**

He could still feel her wrapped around him as he walked to the shore. Could feel her moulded to his back, her legs on his waist. He had meant every word he’d said to her, he would gladly stay there with her forever.

“How was the water babe?” Claudia kissed him when he lay on the towel next to her to dry off, wrinkling her nose slightly at the water that trickled from his hair onto her face.

“Beautiful.” His eyes were on Spills, floating in the water. “You should take a dip.”

“No thanks, I’m perfectly happy here. Can you get my back babe?” She smiled up at him but he wasn’t looking at her, his eyes were trained on the water. “Francisco?” She had to tap him to get his attention. He tore his gaze away to face her.

“Sorry babe, yes of course.”

You can’t keep doing this Francisco. Get your fucking shit together and focus.

“You okay fish?” Pope's voice startled him slightly and when he turned to look at him his expression was serious. “You seem a little… distracted.” His eyes quickly flashed towards Spills floating in the water.

I never should have told him.

“I’m fine.” His voice was clipped, he really didn’t need this right now and he hoped his tone was warning enough. Pope didn’t say anything but he had a feeling he’d hear about this later.

“I wanna ask her out.” Benny had sat down beside Frankie and was staring out at Spills.

“You should! You guys would look cute together, wouldn’t they babe? We could double date or something.” Claudia was happy at the prospect but Frankie's stomach dropped. He felt the anger crawling in his gut, tensing his muscles at the prospect of Benny with her.

This isn’t normal, I shouldn’t feel like this.

“I think you should, Benny.” Pope clapped him on the back. “Fish - I think you should put in a good word for our boy.” It was hard for Frankie not to lash out but why would he? He was engaged and Spills was free. What reason could he possibly have to not want this to happen?

There’s only one reason why, and I can’t fucking help it.

“Yeah of course. I’ll talk to her.” It took everything in him to keep his voice neutral.

“Only ask her out if you’re serious, don’t bother if you’re going to fuck around because that’s his friend, she’s not a random.” Will chimed in, ever the voice of reason and Frankie was thankful.

“I know that.” Benny smiled, and Frankie had to keep quiet.

----

Everything was quiet. Your ears were submerged as you floated peacefully in the water, eyes closed. The ocean always managed to make you feel safe despite its size. Maybe that was what appealed to you, it was so vast and unknowable, you could get lost in it.

You saw the shadow obscure the light despite having your eyes closed. Pope was in the water with you and you smiled at him. Of all the army friends Frankie had introduced you to, Pope was the most mysterious. He guarded his words and you had the sense that he knew way more than he let on.

“Did you have anything planned for the bachelor party yet?” His question dropped a boulder into your stomach.

Fuck, I forgot about that.

“Nope - hadn't even remembered until you said it. I have no idea how the hell to plan one.” Your eyes widened at the thought of it and he laughed, not unkindly.

“I figured, I can help you out. He’s a simple guy - but I'm guessing you already know that. I’m guessing you know much more about him than we do in a lot of respects.” He was smiling at you but there was something underneath his words, a tone you couldn’t discern.

“Probably - known him a long time.” It felt like you were under the microscope.

“Years worth of stuff that Claudia doesn’t even know.” His eyes were burning into you and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was gauging your reaction.

“In all likelihood, but she’ll learn eventually I imagine.” Your voice sounded a lot calmer than you felt.

“Obviously no strip clubs, that’s not his thing. Just get all his friends together and get him drunk.” He was watching you closely but your eyes were focused on Frankie, he was laughing and happy - talking animatedly with Will about something and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I can see how much you love him.” Your eyes flashed towards him. “Like a brother, right?” He raised his eyebrows at you and you felt the colour drain from your face.

Am I that fucking obvious?

“Yeah… like a brother.” You were lying, even when you were younger you knew you’d always loved him, but it never felt brotherly. He knew. “See ya.” As much as you wanted to be in the water, you couldn't handle the scrutiny anymore and you made your way back to shore.

---

The rest of the day was spent mostly in your head, you tried to focus on the conversations you had. You tried to focus on the water and the sunshine but it seemed like Pope’s words and his implications followed you.

“You okay Spills? You’ve been distracted all day.” You’d been on the road for almost half an hour and you’d barely said anything.

“Yeah - sorry, just tired. Need a shower.” You smiled at him weakly.

“You sure? Seems like you have something else on your mind.” He glanced over to you and your heart swelled. His curls were defined from the salt water, his face was a little pink from the sun and he looked so warm and soft. You ran your fingers through his hair seemingly without thought. It was so soft and you had to fight the urge to keep touching it.

“I’m okay Francis - gotta plan your bachelor party.” You couldn’t keep the sadness out of your voice, hoping it came across as tired. You were both silent the whole ride home.

--------

You never would have thought it, but you were glad to be back at work. It was the one place that had no memory of Francis. You could come in, completely focus your energy and forget everything for most of the day. In all the time you worked there - you’d never been this productive but with the wedding slowly approaching, the anxiety was slowly creeping in.

Nowhere was safe now.

[unknown contact]: hey Spills! It’s Claudia - I got your number from Frankie. I was hoping you’d be able to come with me tomorrow to the bridal store. We have to make sure you match everyone on the big day!

Really fucking wish you wouldn’t call me that.

[you:] hey Claudia! Uh yeah sure what time?

[claudia😒]: great! Appointment is for 10am - I’ll send you the address, see you then! 🙂

[you]: sounds great - see you then!

Well that’s just great.

It had been a week since the beach trip and the peace couldn’t last.

—-

There was something about Claudia that got under your skin.

She’s marrying the love of your life, obviously she gets under your skin.

She was friendly enough, and she loved Francis - you could see that in her excitement; but there was something underneath. You got a sense that she was trying to pull a fast one on him.

“Spills, if Frankie and I move, would you come visit us? I think you’re holding him back a little bit.” She was standing as they made adjustments on the dress which thankfully had made it in time to be altered.

“What? What do you mean?” Where was this question coming from?

“Well, he wants to stay here. He wants to live close to his mom and you, but I’m trying to convince him to live back home with me. Maybe if you told him it would be okay and that you’d visit he’d give in.” Your blood was boiling. Give in? His wants and needs had to mean more to her than that?

I have to calm down, I’m overreacting.

“He already told you he doesn’t want to leave? Maybe you guys should compromise? Middle-ground?” You had to put your diplomatic hat on, couldn’t just tear into this girl. The logical part of your brain told you that this was normal - couples disagree about things all the time and it made sense that she’d want to be close to her family and her home.

“Yes he’s set in his ways. It’s frustrating.” She laughed lightly. “I just think that if you gave him your blessing he’d be more open to leaving with me.”

But you don’t have my blessing, I’m the wrong person to come to with this.

“I really think you should talk to him about this - he’s never been the kind of guy to be swayed. Won’t matter what I say.” You were being honest as well as telling her it wasn’t your problem in a roundabout way. She didn’t say anything else and you could tell she wasn’t happy with your answer. You left it alone.

---

You couldn’t put it off any more, as much as you were dreading this wedding you still had responsibilities as his best-person. You had to get everything together and throw this stupid fucking bachelor party.

You messaged all of the friends you knew he kept in touch with, telling them about the outing. They had things planned the whole week up until the wedding so it had to be the Friday before the wedding. Which means you had little less than a week to get it together.

[you]: Hey Francis - can you give me Popes number? Trying to plan your party!

[Francis]: Sure - sending it now. Hopefully it’s nothing too crazy?

[you]: Shit… you mean you don’t want your own parade? Should I cancel the army of exotic dancers?

[Francis]: You’re hilarious, honestly.

[you]: just taking you to a bar you fool, just want to coordinate with him because I don’t have everyone's contact info.

[Francis]: Sounds good, thanks for this - I never got a chance to ask but how did it go at the bridal store?

[you]: Went well

You thought about everything Claudia had said and debated on telling him. Would he want you to? Would she want you to? Somehow you didn’t think she’d be too happy unless you were on her side. Which you decidedly weren’t.

[you]: Think you should talk to her, she’s not happy with you wanting to stay here, after the wedding I mean. I support you whatever you decide but she seemed to think that you needed my blessing in order to leave with her. I told her she needed to talk to you - and I’m telling you the same thing.

Being honest and supportive was the best course of action and you hoped that neither of them (him more so than her) would be upset with how you went about it.

It worried you though when he didn’t answer and you had to trust that they would both understand that you didn’t actually want to influence anyones decision.

Liar, I want him to stay. Even if it’s not with me. I want him to stay.

You pushed the thought away and messaged Pope, the both of you came together and planned a dinner for everyone on the Friday before the wedding, which would turn into the bachelor party after. In five days, he’d be married and if Claudia got her way - far far away from you.

------

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[thefallennightmare]

Vows [2/2]

Pairings: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Angst, mention of death/suicide, alcoholism, and some swearing.

Summary: Could a weekend away be just what Sebastian and Y/N need or could it finally push them away for good? 

A/N: Here’s the long awaited second part! I’m not too sure how to feel about it but here it is! 

My heels clicked against the tiled floor of the hotel as I approached the check in desk, giving the lady behind it a small smile. 

“Hi. Reservation under Mr. Stan?”

Nails typed away on the computer and my heart dropped when I saw a look of slight fear appear on her face. “I’m sorry. Do you have a relation to Mr. Stan?”

“Yes, he’s my husband.” 

The word felt so foreign on my lips, not uttering it for months. 

“Can I see some ID please?” The lady hesitated. 

I cursed under my breath while reaching for my ID but groaned when I noticed it was missing. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I-uh-seemed to have forgotten it.” 

Running a hand through my hair, I tried to think of ways to prove who I was but suddenly, felt a presence behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I tried to stop the increase in heart beat as a small smile peaked through his beard. 

“She’s with me.” 

“Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Stan. How many key cards would you two like?” The lady questioned, her attitude changing once she realized that I was in fact with Seb. 

“Um, there should be two rooms under that reservation?” Sebastian informed her. 

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir. I see a reservation for our honeymoon suite.” 

I scoffed while looking towards Sebastian. “Honeymoon?!”

“Yes, ma’am. It comes with a king bed, Jacuzzi tub, and fireplace.” 

“You planned this, didn’t you? A way to torture me?” I seethed.

Sebastian raised his hands up, saying that his assistant made the reservation for him. 

“Can we book another room?” We both asked at the same time.

She shook her head once more. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stan. We’re all booked up. But if you don’t mind me asking, why do you two need separate rooms? You’re married.” 

I wasn't too comfortable with the flirtatious eyes she was sending Seb’s way. I snatched up the key card before pulling him along, muttering a quick thank you to the lady. 

“I cannot believe you booked the honeymoon suite,” I exasperated while we waited for the elevator. 

“I cannot believe you were jealous of Susan,” Seb chuckled. 

My eyes squinted in confusion and he nodded towards the front desk. 

“Oh.” 

We fell in silence as we rode the elevator up to the 6th floor where our honeymoon suite awaited us. I felt my anxiety start to take over when the thought of Sebastian and I sharing a bed clouded my mind. 

We haven’t shared a bed in so long that I forgot how he was a human heater in the way his arms would wrap around me, engulfing me. Or the way sometimes in the night, his lips would brush against my forehead in a soft kiss. 

“Y/N?” 

“Hm?” I snapped from my thoughts and looked at Seb. 

He was standing outside our room with the door open. “You coming?” 

I nodded and followed him inside. If the situation was under different circumstances, I would have been floored with the room that he booked. 

The king bed was in the middle of the room covered with those pillows that you just knew felt like sleeping on a cloud. The balcony doors were opened, a soft California breeze flowing throughout the room. The smell of the ocean filled my senses and I made a mental note to take a walk on the beach later tonight. 

I took a quick peak in the bathroom and nearly gasped at the sight. The shower was double the size of the one in our brownstone, the tub could fit three people and was in front of a window that faced the ocean. 

“Okay, this room is amazing!” I gawked back to Seb. “Are you sure your assistant didn’t do this on purpose?” 

“I promise,” Seb smiled while crossing his heart. “She made this reservation so long ago she probably thought that we would appreciate this.” 

I mirrored my own smile and started going through my suitcases. “So the rehearsal dinner is at six right?”

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah. Tim said we don’t have to go but we’re invited. Free food and booze.”

My nose scrunched up. “I think I’ll pass on the booze.” 

For the next little while, we both unpacked our stuff deciding not to say a word. Things were still awkward between us and honestly, I wasn’t sure what to say. I could ask him how he’s been but was afraid of finding out the answer. 

“No fucking way.” 

Seb cursed while coming out of the bathroom, phone in hand. “Guess what?” 

I shrugged my shoulders. “What?” 

“Tim called off the wedding.” 

My mouth fell agape, surprised that our best friends had called off the wedding. We were friends with them for years, both traveling and spending time together when Seb and I were first married. Tim and Brianna would always say that they hoped they would be half as happy as Seb and I were. 

“What happened?” I sat on the edge of the bed. 

Seb ran a hand over his face and hesitated for a moment before answering. “He caught her in bed with someone else.” 

“Oh Tim,” I muttered, knowing the pain he was going through.  “What do we do now?”

Seb’s mouth opened to speak but a soft knock on the door interrupted his thought. I marveled in the way his back muscles tensed as he opened the door. Susan stood on the other side of the door and I couldn’t help the jealousy that ran through me when her eyes lit up when she noticed Sebastian opened the door. 

“Sorry to bother you, Mr. Stan, but I wanted to let you know that your and Mrs. Stan’s dinner reservations for 7 pm are all set.” Her voice was professional but I could tell it was bitter to come off her lips. 

“I’m sorry,” I interrupted while standing next to Sebastian. “Dinner reservations?” 

Susan nodded. “Yes ma’am. These reservations were made when the hotel reservation was booked. It’s a private table right on the beach.” 

Bless Seb’s assistant's heart. She probably thought that she was doing this romantic thing for us at the time. 

“Can we cancel?” Sebastian asked. “Our friends called off their wedding so we’re probably going to head back home.” 

Susan shook her head. “I’m sorry Mr. Stan. Since it’s within two hours of your reservation you will have to pay a fee for canceling.” 

Seb ran a hand through his hair before nodding a thanks to Susan and shut the door. 

“What do you say? Dinner before we head home?” Seb suggested. 

“I don’t know, Sebastian. Isn’t this whole thing awkward and weird for you?” I played with my fingers while sitting on the edge of the bed again. 

He leaned against the dresser in the room that was directly in front of me and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s only weird if we make it.” 

“We’re getting divorced and you want us to have dinner like we’re still a couple?” I tried to make sense of this whole situation. 

“As friends,” he stated. “We used to be best friends before we got married, why can’t we go back to that?” 

“What would Alessandra think?” I wondered. 

“I’ll give you sometime to get ready and I’ll meet you on the beach at seven, okay?” Seb said, completely ignoring my question. 

Before I could protest even more, he left the room leaving me alone to my thoughts. 

How could we go to this romantic dinner and pretend that everything is normal when it wasn't? Sebastian made it clear months ago that he didn’t love me anymore and it took all this time to get used to it and understand that he and I would never be where we used to be. 

I fought with my inner self wondering if I had enough time to find a plane ride back home before Seb even noticed I was late to this dinner. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket and the text message on the screen made the decision final. 

Please do this with me. It will be our final dinner together before we say goodbye-Seb

My toes brushed through the sand as I made my way down towards the ocean side where I could see a table with candles surrounding it. My skirt blew in the wind and the sun setting warmed my bare arms as I opted in wearing my gold silk halter top that I knew Sebastian liked at one point. 

I halted when I noticed that even though I was a few moments later, Seb wasn’t here yet. Doubt clouded my mind, wondering if he decided against this whole thing and he had gone home. 

“Y/N.” 

Turning at the soft voice, I could help the small smile that played at my lips. 

Sebastian stood in front of me, dressed in a blue suit, and my heart soared at that vision. He knew how much I loved the way he looked in this baby blue suit. 

He pulled out my chair for me and after giving him a small smile of thanks, we were sitting across from one another. 

“I hope you don't mind but I already told the chef what we wanted,” Seb said sheepishly.

I shook my head. “No, not at all. You were always good at knowing what I liked.”

Someone had come up to the table, ready to pour some wine into my glass and before I could speak up, Seb was already pulling away the glass. “Could we actually get some water?”

The young man nodded before placing two cups of water in front of us and quietly walked away. 

“You can have a glass of wine, Seb. It’s fine,” I informed him. 

“I’m perfectly fine with the water. How is sobriety going?” 

“Really good,” I admitted with a small smile. “I haven't had a drink since the night of my brother's funeral. It’s been hard sometimes but I found a way to deal with the urge.”

“How?” Seb questioned. 

“I actually started keeping a journal. It has some poems and my thoughts of how I’m feeling. It’s kind of stupid,” I muttered. 

Sebastian immediately shook his head. “No it’s not, Y/N. Whatever helps you with the urge to drink is not stupid.” 

We fell into silence after that, our food being placed in front of us, and we ate quietly. The sound of the waves meshing together with the sound of our forks scraping along the plates. 

“You know,” Seb spoke softly, “I never asked how your family is doing. After everything.” 

I could tell he didn’t want to utter the words ‘brothers death’ so I nodded. “They’re doing okay. My dad took it really hard. You should have seen him at the funeral, Seb. I thought he was going to have a heart attack.”

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there,” Sebastian apologized. 

A shaky breath fell from my lips. “I’ve tried too hard not to blame myself for not being there for him. Maybe if I tried to talk to him more, to figure out what was wrong with him. All he needed was someone to talk to, to listen to him, but we weren’t there; I wasn’t there.” 

Seb’s hand reached across the table and gently grabbed mine. “None of this is your fault, Y/N. Your brother was dealing with so many demons.”

I shook my head. “But I could have been there for him more. I was so wrapped up in our divorce and dealing with being alone that I didn’t even think of reaching out to my family because I was afraid of what they would say.” 

Hastily wiping a tear away with my free hand, my sad eyes looked at our tangled fingers and Sebastian hesitated before pulling away. 

Just the small touch of our hands together brought so much warmth. I had no idea how much I missed his touch until I felt it again. 

The sun was setting even lower and the golden rays brushed softly across his features, showering him in such a glow that made me want to climb into him, crashing our lips together. 

“I promised your mom I wouldn’t tell you this but she called me a few weeks ago,” Seb admitted. 

“She did?” My eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

He nodded. “She was wondering how you were doing and made me promise to look after you.” 

“Sorry, I haven’t told her about us. She still thinks we’re married.” 

“I promised her that I would make sure you were safe and happy. I wouldn’t let those same demons that your brother dealt with bring you down.” 

I let out a soft sob and averted my gaze from Sebastian, not wanting him to see how broken I actually was. 

It had been months since my brother's death and getting the divorce papers. No matter how hard I tried to bury away those memories and feelings of heartbreak, it still chipped away at my heart. I wasn’t happy anymore, the bright light behind my eyes was long gone. 

Sebastian was off with his girlfriend, happier than he ever was with me. He was living in the home we had built together, metaphorically, and I was the last thing on his mind.

I refused to show him that every night I cry myself to sleep, longing for the feeling of his arms around me, helping me deal with everything. I needed him so much but I couldn’t have him. He wasn’t mine anymore and it was so hard to accept. 

I wasn’t the same person I was when we met. Back then I was confident in myself and knew that I was enough for him. I trusted him when he would be gone for months at a time and knew that he would always come back to me. A few years into our marriage, however, everything changed. 

My self esteem dropped every time I saw Sebastian with his female co-stars. The thoughts of if I was pretty enough or if I was pleasing him enough flooded my thoughts constantly. Our shared moments of bliss started to disappear and after that one night, it had dissipated to nothing. 

‘Please Seb, don’t go.” I cried while reaching for his hand. 

He yanked his arm away from me before the look of hate pierced my soul. “Why should I stay, Y/N?! You clearly don’t need me third wheeling.” 

His stare landed on the man that stood frozen on our steps of the brownstone. 

“It’s not what you think,” I pleaded with a slight slur. “Please listen.” 

“Isn’t it?!” Sebastian's anger vibrated off the walls. “I thought I would surprise you by coming home early but end up finding you with some other guy in our home!” 

“If you would just listen to me,” I begged. “We weren’t doing anything. He was only making sure I made it home from the bar okay.” 

Seb scoffed. “Really? Then why were you half naked in front of him when I found you?” 

“Just let me explain, please.” 

I stumbled over my feet as I tried to follow him outside of our home. The alcohol was incredibly strong, making it difficult to see straight. 

“I’m done, Y/N. We’re through.” 

“Y/N?” 

Snapping back from my thoughts, I noticed that Seb was looking at me with a concerned face. 

“Are you alright?” 

The words stumbled from my lips before I could stop myself. “I never cheated, Seb. That night was a huge misunderstanding.” 

His body immediately tensed, being caught off guard by my words. 

“I’m not talking about this, Y/N. It’s done. It happened and that's it.” 

“Nothing happened!” I suddenly snapped. “I swear to God, you think you know what happened but you don’t!” 

“What is there to explain, Y/N?! I find you in your underwear with another guy!” Seb’s voice was now raised to match my own. 

“I thought he was you!” I admitted. “I got so drunk that I thought this nice guy that offered to walk me home was you! I know getting drunk was no excuse but I was so lonely that I drank that night away in a bar. You told me you weren’t coming back for another two weeks and I thought that guy was you. Turns out he was gay and was actually trying to get me into bed to sleep.” 

“Oh.” 

I scoffed. “Oh? That’s all you have to say?” 

“What else do you want me to say, Y/N?” Seb retorted back. 

“How about I’m sorry for assuming that you had an affair?” 

When he stayed silent, I shook my head with a look of disbelief. “This is why I didn’t want to have this stupid dinner. We can’t be together for more than an hour before screaming at each other!” 

I stood from the table but froze when Seb did the same. “Then why haven’t you signed the damn divorce papers?! You keep trying to keep me around and it’s selfish, Y/N. How can I move on if you won’t sign those papers?!”

“Because I still love you! I’m not ready to let you go. It’s not fair that Alessandra gets to spend time with you on those vacations and gets to see you so happy. It’s not fair that she gets to share the same bed with you, our bed. It’s not fucking fair that she gets your love when I don’t! So call me selfish, I don’t care. But if you want those papers signed so damn bad then I will sign them when I get back home.” 

I went to storm away, back to the hotel room, however the great feeling of finally being able to tell Sebastian my true feelings kept surging through me. 

“I’m not done yet,” I spoke while facing him again. 

He was standing a few feet away from me with his hands deep into his pockets. His eyes held confusion, trying to let the words ‘i still love you’ process in his mind. 

“In our wedding vows, you promised me that we would work through whatever issues we had. You would listen before assuming the worst. What changed?” 

Sebastian let out a deep breath. “Honestly, I knew we were growing apart and I was looking for an easy out.” 

Those words stung but I nodded, accepting it. “I know that I haven't signed the papers but you haven't either. Why?”

“I’m afraid,” Seb admitted. 

“Of what?” 

“Starting over, I guess. What we had was all I had ever known. A part of me knows that we were so in love and we had some amazing times together. We were passionate about everything together, our dreams were in sync and hell, even in the bedroom we were in sync.” 

My cheeks flushed at the thoughts of us in bed together but let Sebastian continue. 

“I think the reason why we grew apart was that we never had time to grow on our own. Y/N, I was the only guy you had ever been with and it put a lot of pressure on me to make sure you weren’t missing anything.” 

“You’re the only one I ever wanted, Seb.” I let the tears fall this time. “I had so much pressure on myself to keep you interested and happy. You knew all these beautiful girls and were around them all the time. Drinking was the only way I could deal with the jealousy. In the end, it only pushed you away.” 

“You were the only one I was thinking about when I was gone.” Sebastian coughed, trying to cover a sob. “I loved you so much, Y/N. I never wanted to be with anyone else.”

“What about now?,” I wondered. “How do you feel about me now? Do I still make your heart skip a beat when I walk into the room or does your stomach do those flips whenever I laugh?” 

I could tell that he was in deep thought, truly wondering what he felt for me. 

“Please be honest. I need to know the truth to move on.” I sobbed. “If you tell me that you never want to see me again and want me out of your life, then I will walk away from you right now. I’ll go back home tomorrow and deliver the divorce papers to your lawyer, signed. But if there is even a slight chance you want me, then please let me know.” 

For the first time in a very long time, I saw Seb break down and cry. His soft sobs broke me and I fought the urge to run into his arms. 

“I don’t know. I should have stayed away from you the moment I sent you the divorce papers but I couldn’t. I found myself making excuses to come see you, to be with you. I tried to move on, hoping being with someone else would make it easier to forget about you but it only made it worse.”

“Then why didn’t you stay with me?” I choked. 

“I was afraid,” Sebastian admitted. 

“Afraid of what?” I pressed on with the questions. 

However I noticed that Seb’s body tensed up, the topic suddenly coming to an immediate halt. 

“We should head back, it's getting dark.” He motioned towards our hotel room behind me. 

“Not until you answer the question. What were you afraid of?” I stood tall, arms crossed. 

Sebastian shook his head, the same sour scowl appeared on his face that I had become all too familiar with. 

“I need some space,” was all he said before leaving me alone. 

Yet again. 

My body thrashed against the bed sheets, tossing and turning, trying to let sleep take me. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore did nothing to calm my tired brain. Darkness engulfed the room, the only light casting on the wall opposite of my back from the moon outside. 

The throbbing knocking of a headache kept pressing against my skull and now matter what I could do, I couldn’t stop the tears from staining the pillow case. 

I had returned to the hotel room, alone, and after crying in the shower for over an hour, I mustered all of my strength to throw a tshirt and a pair of underwear on before crawling into bed. Seb hadn’t returned yet and the only thing that let me know he was still in town was that his bags were still neatly placed on the other side of the room, next to the mini bar. 

The mini bar that had called to me so many times since returning. I fought the urge, ignoring the temptation and only thinking of one thing that mattered to me anymore. 

My sobriety. 

Letting out a deep sigh, I clutched the pillow closer to me and as I heard the door click open behind me, my body tensed. 

Thinking I was asleep, Sebastian quietly undressed himself before softly climbing into bed not wanting to wake me. Our backs were to one another and the space between us was cold and alone. 

The space between us was a representation of how far away we had felt from one another, emotionally. 

It was made clear by me that I still selfishly loved him and refused to sign the papers because I had hope that we would work through this like we worked through all of our other problems. 

Sebastian made it clear that he was afraid of letting me go, he was comfortable with me and he wasn’t sure if love was the right word to express his feelings for me. He was afraid of telling me why. 

As the tears returned, I buried my face into my pillow to silence my cries, not wanting to let Sebastian know I was awake. 

There was a sudden shift in the bed, the mattress dipping low as Seb’s body rolled over towards me. Suddenly, I felt all the bad melt away as his arm wrapped around my stomach, pulling me into his bare chest. 

“Please stop crying. I can’t take it anymore knowing I’m the reason why,” he breathed into my hair. 

The familiar feeling of his chest against my back seemed to calm my sobs for a moment. 

“I know I need to move on and let you go but I can’t. I love you, Seb.” I cried. 

“I know sweetheart, I know.” Seb hushed my cries by pulling me closer to him. 

Turning to my side, I buried my face into him. The small hairs of his chest tickling my cheeks. My hands clutched his hips, afraid this was all a dream and that he would vanish at any second. His soft lips brushed against my forehead before I felt him take a deep breath. 

“I was afraid of not living up to the husband I vowed to be. I loved you so much, Y/N and I wanted to give you everything you deserved. That’s why I took as many jobs as I could, so I could provide for you and our future.” 

“I was afraid that you’d wake up one day and realize that I wasn’t worth fighting for. I thought that being away from you and causing you all this pain would make it easier for you to leave me but in the end it only brought us closer I think.” 

Pulling away from him, I looked into his eyes. “How so?” 

His soft fingers gently brush a stand of hair from my eyes. “We both needed time to grow and realize what we truly wanted.” 

Licking my lips, my gaze bounced from his plump lips towards the soft glow of love oozing from his eyes. 

“And what is it that you want?” I gulped. 

Our eyes locked and no words were spoken as Seb leaned down, his lips meeting mine for the first time in over a year. All the time apart meant nothing, both remembering the way our lips would move together in sync. His hand cupped my cheek, afraid that I would pull away, while my arms snaked around his neck, deepening the kiss. 

Unfortunately, we both needed to come up for air and reluctantly pulled away. Seb’s thumb brushed my cheek bone and I closed my eyes at the familiar touch. 

“What about-?”

Sebastian hushed the name from my lips with a soft kiss. “It’s been over for months. I tried to move on but nobody is you.” 

“I vow to remain sober and whenever I have issues with myself or I’m feeling myself pulling away from you, that I will talk to you about it. I vow that I will be the woman you fell in love with all those years ago. Just please don’t leave me. I need you so much more than you know.” I pressed my lips to his again, loving the way they tasted. 

Sebastian brushed his lips against my hairline, breathing in my scent. “I want you, all of you, now and for the rest of my life. This I vow to you.” 

“I love you, Sebastian Stan.” I breathed. 

“I love you too, Y/N Stan. More than you will ever know,” Sebastian mused. 

[companionjones]

He Was There With You

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Fandom: Henry Cavill

Summary: Just because you’re dating Henry Cavill, it doesn’t mean your life is perfect.

Warnings: Panic attack, some sexual references, notice how I never mention clothes in this

Author’s Note: This is loosely based on something that happened to me a few days ago. I think I started writing this the day it happened. I had one of my first major panic attacks, and I felt very lonely coming down from it. I wrote this in an attempt to make myself feel better. I hope you enjoy!

P.S. Reader has long enough hair for it to get tangled in this.

*******

    “Okay, I definitely need to get up now. You know, shower? Start my day?” You turned to leave the bed, but you felt a hand on your hip. “No, Henry!” you giggled, “We cannot stay in bed all day!”

    The actor nuzzled your neck. “I happen to think it is completely possible to stay in bed all day. I’d even go as far to say it can be very enjoyable.”

    “I know it can be extremely enjoyable, but I have stuff to do today. There are chores to do, and I have to go grocery shopping.”

    Henry smirked, “You really know how to turn me on...”

    You smiled at his joke, but the expression got captured when he kissed you. Going along with it, you flipped the two of you over so you were on top. Henry’s hand traveled downward...You broke the kiss.

    “I’m getting in the shower,” you proclaimed, climbing off of him. You added as he watched you go, “Don’t join me. I don’t want to be getting distracted.”

    “You’re killing me, Y/n,” Henry lamented as you exited.

    The bathroom you were using was adjacent to the master bedroom of the pent house you and Henry shared. You shut the door behind you. You started the water, washed your body, lathered up your hair, and told yourself to take deep breaths.

    Ugh. It was the third time it was happening that month. What even was it? Why was it happening? You told yourself to stay calm.

    As usual, the deeper breaths weren’t working. It was getting harder to breathe, and your chest was tightening up. Your head started to hurt.

    The only thing that was left to do was the conditioner. You were almost done. Once you were out of the shower, you could finally calm down. You decided you wouldn’t tell Henry. Just like you hadn’t told him of the two previous occurrences. What you were experiencing probably just a weird reaction to the heavy amounts of steam produced by the shower, you guessed. No need to worry Henry.

    On your third time within minutes of opening up the shower door to breathe, you decided to get out. You sat on the covered toilet. Conditioner was still in your hair.

    You were getting really bad. Worse than either of the other times. Your heartbeat was in your head. Breathing was scarce. You lost your hearing in your left ear for some reason. It wasn’t because too much water was in it.

    “Henry?” Okay, yeah. Maybe you should tell him. Your shaky voice only sounded a little tense.

    “Yes, darling?” He sounded like he was still laying in bed.

Half of you was bothered that you were disturbing him from relaxing in bed, and half of you was glad that he was still within earshot. “Could you come here? I-I think I’m having a panic attack...”

You didn’t look pretty. You knew that wasn’t the point of the circumstance, but it was the first thing you thought about. You were hunched over with your head in your hands, so your body rolls were on full display; and because you were just in the middle of unknotting your hair with conditioner, hair was all over you.

    As soon as Henry was in front of you, you forgot all that. It felt nice to have him near you. His hands on your knee and arm were immediately comforting.

    Henry’s voice was soft with only a hint of urgency when he expressed, “You said you were having a panic attack? How are you feeling?”

    “I’m getting better.” You still felt pretty bad, but that wasn’t a lie. “I just need a minute...” You wanted him to talk. You liked his voice. It distracted you but you couldn’t articulate that in the moment. “This, uh, this is the third time this has happened. I’m sorry, um, I didn’t, uh, tell you.”

    He nodded. “It’s okay, baby. I’m glad you’re telling me now. Let’s get you out of here, okay?” Henry kissed the side of your head as he got up to turn off the shower.

    “I still have conditioner in my hair...”

    “I’ll help you get it out in the kitchen sink. C’mere.” He unfolded a towel and held it open for you.

    “You know, I can probably dry myself off.” You rolled your eyes as you got onto your semi-unstable legs. Your joke was that he was probably trying to feel you up.

    He smiled, “You probably could...but then I wouldn’t be able to do this!”

    Suddenly, you were swept off your feet. Literally. Henry had picked you up. He started to carry you to the kitchen.

    You snorted when you were first lifted, but you immediately curled into him.

    “Deep breaths, darling,” he soothingly whispered in your ear.

    Because you were out of the shower and in Henry’s arms, the breaths came easier.

    He asked, “When did the other two happen?”

    “The last two times I was in the shower.”

    Henry nodded, “I see.”

    “What do I do now? Just not get in the shower anymore?” you worried.

    Henry reassured you, “I’ll get you an emergency appointment with your therapist. I’m sure they can figure something out so you can shower in peace.”

    “I’m sorry.”

    “There is no need to be apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Henry affirmed. He set you down so he could rinse out your hair in the kitchen sink.

    It didn’t take long. You were glad the running water and your head in the sink didn’t trigger anything else. Henry took you back up to the bed that the two of you shared, then picked up his phone to call your therapist and set up DoorDash to go grocery shopping for the two of you.

    Once he was finished all that, he climbed back into bed with you. “Told you we should stay in bed all day.”

    You just burst out laughing.

    Henry placed a few kisses on you as he pulled you into his arms.

    “Thank you,” you breathed, and nuzzled into his chest. You still felt pretty shaken up, but you were a lot better than before.

    “Anytime, sweetheart.” Henry stayed in bed with you until you fell asleep. Then, he set to work doing the chores you had on your list. He figured you didn’t need anything else on your plate for the day.

*******

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading! Fill up that heart and reblog if you liked it! If you would like to read more, I have more fics on Henry Cavill over on my page. You should check it out. Have a nice day, night, or whatever time it is for you! <3 <3 <3

[91percentpynch]

the cut that always bleeds - kevaaron au pt 3

kejerejean stans? this one is for you. no seriously this one is out of jean‘s point of view? cuz honestly i love that hoe so much. as always get your tissues ready guys. this is actually kinda long? and a mess? and no one beta read it so if there are mistakes or it doesn‘t make sense i‘m sorry!! this is not that sad? tw: mention of murder, mention of physically hurting someone, mention of stabbing, mention of the nest, mention of trauma

check this out to find the other parts:)

Jean has always been a light sleeper. He had to be in order to survive the horrors of Evermore.

So naturally the sobs - as silent as they might have been - woke him up. His eyes opened at once, he sat straight up. Almost automatically he got to his feet and left the room to get to Kevin.

After all, comforting Kevin was like breathing to him.

Jeremy followed Jean, because he would always follow Jean. Jeremy was like a moth and Jean was the light. Wherever he went Jer would follow.

So they went to Kevin‘s room. The striker laid in his bed, curled up, phone in his hand, uncontrollable sobs escaping his mouth.

„I see you took the call this time“, Jean said, surprisingly gentle.

„I wanted to end it. I wanted to have a clear cut. So tell me, why does the cut still bleed?“, Kevin whispered, his voice barely audible.

„Because it‘s a cut that always bleeds“, Jeremy told Kevin as he came closer, carefully and ever so gentle placing his hands on the other boy‘s back.

„He said he wants me to come back to him“, Kevin whispered while holding onto himself as if to try to stop himself from falling apart. „He told me he misses me. That he only gets high when he misses me“

It was quiet in the dark room, shadows were dancing, just as Aaron and Kevin used to dance in the dead of night underneath the night sky.

„You did the right thing Kev“, Jean replied in French while he got into the Bed behind Kevin. Just like they used to do in the Nest.

When Kevin was in his arms he began to hum a French lullaby into his ear.

Jeremy joined them after a second of admiring his beautiful boyfriend and the broken boy in his arms.

„Dude, do you want something? Hot coca? A special Knoxian hug? Us to get Andrew to gut that bastard? Wait, hold on. I forgot. Twin brother. Well, I can gut him for you? Andrew and this is a word by word quote told be once ‚You‘re like a little unicorn in a world full of wolfs with razor sharp teeths, learn to gut the wolfs, stay safe‘, so he taught me how to stab someone? Yeah okay that is not the topic right now, I can still gut Aaron though. I mean Andrew would try to hurt me, but then again I‘m his best friend so he does not have the rights to gut me, right?“, Jeremy offered him a toothy grin, while his hand wandred to his neck rubbing it nervously.

„Can you please not gut him? First of all: Andrew already tried to choke me once when Josten was in danger and I told them where he was, cause apparently yOu DoN‘t KeEp ThOsE tHiNgS tO yOuRsElF yOu FuCkInG mOrOn. I think you do keep those things to yourself if the other option is to get fucking murdered by the mafia??? But what do I know, am I right? After all I‘m just a narcistic, Exy-obsessed asshole without a personality. Bonus I have anxiety, panic attacks, probably depression and I‘m unlovable“, Kevin mumbled into his pillow, the voices of the other foxes, of the other teams inside of his head.

„Did they tell you that?“, Jeremy asked, not quite able to hide the sadness and pain in his voice.

„Doesn‘t eveyone think that?“, Kevin asked. „I mean I think they tend to forget that the woman who gave birth to me, the last woman who geniuely loved me besides maybe Abby, invented the job. I think they tend to forget that the fucking mafia killed her when they found out I‘m not theirs by nature, so the only solution was apparently fucking murder. Then they kidnapped me, brainwashed and tortured me to the point where all I knew was Exy. Oh and maybe they also tend to forget that Ravens were only ever allowed to do Exy, if you were privilegded enough sleep, and do more Exy“

„Kevin you are so much more than that“, Jean whispered into Kevin‘s ear while pressing him against his chest. Just as they used to do in the Nest. „I might be mad at you, because you left me alone with those psychopaths. I used to think you didn‘t care about me. But you were just like me, okay with less scars and less you know. However I cannot say I wouldn‘t have done the same. I understand you now, Kevin. And please, please stop saying those things. And now let us cuddle you and let Jer go through his ridiculous post break-up list. We‘re gonna cuddle you and all you have to do is trying to fall asleep. Used to help me when I was alone at USC. Could only sleep properly when someone held me. Well, Jeremy. Tomorrow we‘ll shove unhealthy food down your throat and watch Downton Abbey or whatever those historcial dramas you love so much are called. While stroking your hand or whatever you‘re into big boy. Afterwards we‘ll take the dogs out and force you to watch the fucking sunset. And I‘ll hold your fucking hand“

Kevin supposed the middle of the night was the time of long lost truths. „Okay“, he mumbled while he moved closer to Jean. Replacing his smell with Jean‘s. It took him a while to fall asleep but he managed.

At the same time Jeremy said „Mi amor, I love you, I really do, but that was literally the most romantic thing you said in the past two years? That is way more romantic than ANY date you ever planned for me? Rude? The audacity?“

„Moi soleil, you don‘t have the ‚cult kidnapped me and tortured me‘ card you can pull, you get the bonus treatmeant of any other people. Besides I literally have matching tattoos with you? I drew you like multiply times? I wrote like a dozen poems and at LEAST one short story? I wrote you a fucking lullaby? You have no right to complain right now, or you‘ll loose your kissing privileges and I give them to Kevin“

„Eww gross“, Kevin mumbled.

„I don‘t remeber you saying that back in the Nest“, Jean replied, poking his cheek.

Kevin didn‘t have the energy to answer. It was a long day. Sleep could have him for the day. Death’s little sister might claim him for the night.

This night he dreamed about Aaron. Strong arms around his waist. Golden eyes locking with smaragd ones. They were on some lonely beach, kissing lazily while the water kissed their feet. It was a beautiful day. Not as beautiful as Aaron, but then again nothing would ever be as beautiful as this specific piece of art. Everything was alright. Everything was good. Why couldn‘t it be the real Aaron and the real Kevin on that beach.

At about noon Kevin woke up to a drooling Jeremy on his stomach and the smell of waffles and soft French swearing in the kitchen. Softly Kevin woke Jeremy up.

„Sorry I always end up on weird angles and drooling on random guys. Jean used to get so mad when I fell asleep in his lap. But you can‘t take him serious when he looks with you with heart eyes trying to be Mad, can you? Anyways we should probably go to him and help him? Oh wait hold on a hot second there. I‘m banned from the kitche, so we can sleep? Right? Right?“

„I hate to break this to you Jer, but it‘s noon. So, no we cannot sleep. You can choose my clothes, though. I know you love going through my stuff and playing dress the doll, Kevin Day edition“, Kevin almost smiled at Jeremy, when he looked up at him pouting.

Then he remembered another blonde boy, pouting at him when he told him no. Another constellation of freckles around another, straight, perfect nose. Sinful lips softly turned up, trying to look mad. Hazel eyes instead of ocean blue ones. Messy blonde curles, instead of soft badly dyed ginger ones. Strong arms instead of lean ones covered in flower tattoos. God, Kevin missed his Aaron.

No, not his. Not anymore

„Okay, but you have to wear to fab outfit I‘ll throw in your face“, Jeremy gave him another easy, toothy grin.

Slowly the other boy got out of bed and went over to the cabet. Slowly Jer went through Kevin‘s cloths. After a while he slowly turned around, holding a jersey that is obviously by far too small for Kevin in front of his face. „What is that? Why do you still have his jersey? Babe, you gotta get rid of that, rather sooner than later“

Jeremy had the weird habit of calling his friends babe, baby, dude or bro. Before Jean he called his boyfriends bro or dude as well, but Jean was so confused by it he quickly stopped doing it.

„First of all: I‘m a weak ass bitch, it smelled of it. And secondly maybe I wanna stab it once I‘m over the phase where I‘m like madly missing him?. I‘d just put it into a pillow, stab at it like a maniac and then set it on fire. I didn‘t grow up with a psychopath as my supposed best friend for nothing Jer“

„Okay? Well I got your clothes. And you‘ll look amazing, cause it‘s the FOX ONSIE I GOT YOU!!! I‘ll wear my onsie as well, and I‘ll force Jean to wear his one as well!! Much fun!! Much wholesome!!“

So that‘s how Kevin Day, queen of Exy, landed sandwiched between his childhood crush and long life crush on their couch, watching Downton Abbey with a plate of waffles on his lap. This was nice. He might had actually enjoyed it, if this wasn‘t his and Aaron‘s show. They used to watch it, cry over it together, make out while watching it.

Thank God didn‘t actually touch him while watching Downton Abbey, he was good at daydreaming. Kevin would just had preteneded that it was Aaron and he thought him breathing Aaron‘s name was the last thing any of them needed today.

After their Downton Abbey marathon they ordered pizza, against Kevin‘s better judgement. Another traditon Kevin shared with Aaron. At finals Aaron would often forget to eat and Kevin was too big of a mess to be bothered to cook so he would end up ordering something every single day and feeding it Aaron while he studied on the floor. Occasionally he would earn a soft kiss, growing hungrier when the night grew darker. God Kevin missed the soft lips on his own.

Kevin would have enjoyed the beach, wouldn‘t he be dressed in a fox onsie, holding hands with a 6“5 guy who looked like he both could and would kill you in a unicorn onsie holding two tiny dogs in his other hand and with a 5“4 dude in a matching unicorn onsie with two dogs that were almost bigger than him.

At least this didn‘t remind him on Aaron.

Well, actually. The way the ocean softly kissed the sand, reminded him of his dream. And of the endless trips to the beach, sleeping in the car, Aaron on top of him. Lazy kisses and warm hugs. It was the first place Aaron took Kevin after their rehab. It was the first night they spent together, as sober men. Well, not sober per se. But drunk and high on each others love. It might had been the most painful memory of the day. God he missed those strong arms around his waist.

Nontheless the pain got less, he felt almost numb. Kevin liked feeling numb. Nothing hurt when you feel numb.

The sunset was beautiful. It reminded him of golden hairs, freckles standing against golden skin, soft lips at his ears, his neck, the corner of his lips.

„Aaron you‘re supposed to look at the sunset, you shithead“, Kevin used to smile down at him. „But I‘m already looking at the most beautfiul thing this world has to offer“, Aaron replied smoothly, locking eyes with Kevin.

When the moon took the place of his long lost lover they decided to go back.

It was safe to say that no one dared to think that someone would wait for them there. Especially not the one person they tried to avoid by all means the entire day.

„You said to stop calling. Never mentioned face to face conversations“, a husky voice said. And Kevin‘s world stopped.

[hajimeow-archived]

Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems

since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk

also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.

so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS

and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate

i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3

anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers

so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .

anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc

anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around

anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu

AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him

but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff

i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho

also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude

later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.

OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that

also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever

OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!

also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....

also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol

anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!

[pleasereadmycrap]

Time Gone By I

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader

Warnings: angst

Summary: Steve left, and when he comes back, things have changed. (Not canon compliant)

A/N: Hey y’all. This is my new series. I hope y’all enjoy it. Also I know that I should start a new paragraph eveytime that sombody new speaks but I hit the 250 text block limit. So yes, I know I am not following basic grammar rules, and yes, it makes me cringe too. Next, I know it looks like Time Gone By I, but the name is Time Gone By. The I is just a Roman numeral. I know that I should have put a colon there, but when I did, it kind of irritated me so I deleted it.

As Steve walked through the gates of the Wakandan palace, he couldn’t hold in his admiration. His head was on a swivel as he took in the view of the city. It was a sight that he never thought he would see. In the 40s, Wakanda had been seen as a primitive third world country. By the 2010s, it seemed that not much had changed. The world still had yet to see this side of Wakanda, although it seemed that they wanted it that way. In fact, Steve, himself, had only ever really thought about it as the place his shield was made up until now. Walking through the palace gates, the first person that he saw was Bucky. He was excited to see his best friend for the first time in so many years. It was like a pattern for them- the world ripping them apart only to put them back together again. Only, Bucky didn’t look quite as happy to see Steve. He actually looked nervous.

“Hey, Buck. It’s been a while,” he called out as he ran towards Bucky and engulfed him in a tight hug that wasn’t returned nearly as enthusiastically. Then, he remembered where he was, disentangled himself from his friend, and bowed to the king. “I’m sorry, your majesty. That was disrespectful. I forgot myself. I apologize.”

“Please don’t apologize, and call me T’challa,” he replied in his lightly accented English that sounded so posh.

“Thank you, T’challa, and thank you for your hospitality. Now, Buck, how have you been? Tell me everything. It’s been so long.”

“Uh… Things have been different without you. I missed you,” he stammered, not quite meeting Steve’s eyes,

“I missed you too, bud. Now, where is she?”

“Who?”

“C’mon Buck. Don’t play stupid. You know who I’m talking about. Where’s Y/N?”

“Um, Steve. Things have changed since you’ve been gone. There’s a lot to talk about, you know?”

“No, I really don’t. What are you saying here, Buck?”

“I think now would be a good time to excuse myself,” T’challa said before turning and walking back into the palace. He signaled for the guard and everybody else to follow him.

‘C’mon, Buck. Just tell me what’s going on. I didn’t think that we kept things from each other.”

“No, you’re right. We don’t. It’s just that you left. You ran off and you followed Peggy’s niece around Europe for three years. Look, I get it. Peggy died and you were in a bad place, but was it really worth it? Was it worth it to leave the best thing that ever happened to your sorry ass to follow some remnant of Peggy like a dog chasing a stick?”

“Bucky, if you have something to say to me, just tell me, and stop beating around the bush!”

“I just don’t think that it’s a very good idea for you to see her right now,” Bucky said quietly, staring at his feet.

“Really? Who died and made you king?”

“Very mature, Steve.”

“If I want to see my girlfriend, I damn well will!”

“She’s not your girlfriend anymore!”

“What?” Steve asked, uncomprehending.

“You left to chase tail in Europe, and you think that you can just come back, and everything will be the same. You act like you were gone for a week or two, but it was three fucking years. You left us, all of us! Things have changed! You left her for another woman! She’s moved on! She doesn’t want to see you, Steve!”

“Moved on? Who has she moved on with?”

“Nobody. She’s just moved on,” Bucky said, sounding exasperated. “Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. There’s a room for you in the palace. You can set your stuff there.”

“Thanks,” Steve replied, before storming off into the palace.

When he reached his room, he marveled at it. The technology in there put that of the Compound or Tower to shame. The window stretched from floor to ceiling, and the view was incredible. It was a stark contrast to the view he was used to from his crappy flat in 40s Brooklyn, or the view of New York from the Tower. It even weirded him out not to see Thor and Nat wailing on each other in a field outside. Instead, he saw wide open spaces unlike New York and beautiful architecture unlike the Compound. It was all mixed together to create the most beautiful citadel that Steve had ever seen. He thought about asking whatever virtual assistant that was undoubtedly hooked up in his room about you, but he had only barely mastered JARVIS. He didn’t even know the name of this one, so he just sat on the bed and thought about what Bucky had said for a while. It wasn’t all true, was it? Had he really been gone that long? It hadn’t felt like three years when he had been with Sharon. Despite what everybody thought, and despite that ill timed kiss, he hadn’t been with Sharon for sex or a relationship or whatever. It was just that he had realized at the funeral when Sharon spoke as Peggy’s niece, how little he knew about Peggy’s life other than when he knew her. He needed to piece it together. He needed to know more. He wasn’t ready to let go yet, so yeah, he followed a woman around Europe just to find out more about her dead aunt. He hadn’t really seen himself as leaving you. He had meant to keep in touch with you. Really, he had. He had meant to come back, but two weeks turned to four, then eight, then three whole years. When had he let that happen? Suddenly, he heard a knock at his door. Steve opened it to find T’challa standing behind it.

“Prince T’challa, what can I do for you?”

“I thought I told you that just T’challa is fine” he teased Steve lightly.

“I’m sorry? What did you come to talk about?”

“I thought I should come and welcome you properly. It didn’t seem like things were good between you and your friend.”

“No, they weren’t, but it’s none of our concern. I wouldn’t want to bother you with my problems when you’re already showing me so much hospitality.”

“If a king cannot listen to the difficulties of his people, he has no business being king.”

“Very wise.”

“My father told me that.”

“He was a good man.”

“I know, but I am not here to talk about him. I thought I would tell you that we are having a party tomorrow night. I wanted to welcome all of the fighters and give them a chance to destress before the fight.”

“It sounds like a great idea. Will everybody in the palace be there?”

“I hope so. I’ll have a suit sent up to your room. According to our calculations, Thanos should be here in two days.”

“And those are accurate?”

“Shuri doesn’t make mistakes,” T’challa said in a tone that left no room for further questions on the matter. Steve wanted to ask who Shuri was but decided to leave it alone. “I’m having some of our scientists make a suit for you. It’ll be a little more high tech and more appropriate for the occasion than the stars and stripes.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll have dinner sent up tonight. Most of your fellow teammates have opted to eat dinner in their rooms.”

“What information can you give me on Y/N?”

“I’m afraid it’s not my place.”

“Please,” Steve begged, employing his best puppy eyes.

“I should be going,” T’challa said, before leaving the room abruptly.

Dinner was sent up shortly after. It was a cheeseburger and fries, and probably the best that Steve had ever had. It reminded him of going out for lunch with Bucky after some of his less damaging fights, or going to Coney Island with girls that he only met two hours prior, but swore that he was going to marry. Steve missed back when things were simpler. After a while, the sky outside got dark, and Steve figured he should turn in early. The next couple of days were going to be rough, and he had better prepare the best that he could.

…

The next morning, Steve was woken up by blinding sunlight streaming through his window. He sat up in his bed and heard a voice coming from some hidden corner of his room.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers. The king would like to see you in the training lab at your earliest convenience,” a kind sounding female voice said in a stiff British accent that let him know it was some AI talking.

“Uh… good morning. Can you please tell the kind that I’ll be there soon, and could I also get directions to the training lab, please?”

“Just take the elevator to the lowest level.”

“Thank you.”

Steve dressed himself quickly in joggers and one of the T-shirts in the drawers of the dresser in his room. Evidently, whoever had stocked that dresser knew of his fondness for tight fitting shirts. He hustled down the hall to the elevator, still marveling at how modern the palace was. When he stepped into the lab though, he was in a whole other world. There were a plethora of machines whizzing over his head. There were different projects scattered everywhere in various states of completion. Holograms were projected around the room, showing the blueprints for multiple machines. It was like Stark Labs but bigger and even more high tech. He could hear a loud whirring coming from one corner of the room. He followed his ear in the direction of the noise to find T’challa watching a young woman hunched over a piece of metal that she was soldering.

“Hello,” Steve said as he walked up,not wanting to startle the girl wielding a glorified cauterizing knife.

“Ah, Captain Rogers, it is good to see you. This is my sister Shuri. She has been working on the suit for you.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess,” Steve bowed his head in respect.

“Shuri is fine,” she replied, finally looking up from her work.

“As long as you call me Steve.”

“Deal.”

“So what’s the deal on this new suit?”

“It’s over here. Follow me,” Shuri said as she started walking to the opposite side of the lab. “Your new suit will harness kinetic energy, same as my brother’s. It’s also a little darker and more appropriate for the solemnity of what’s to come, but heat reflective so that you won’t be burning up inside of it. It’ll be great if you ever decide to use it for stealth missions. The new suit will also be able to read and relay your vitals to the rest of your team, and of course, your new shields will be attached to the suit so you don’t have to worry about them getting lost on such a hectic battle field.

“That all sounds very impressive.”

“Shuri is the best we have, even better than your Stark,” T’challa cut in.

“I’m excited to see it, then.”

“Well, I’ll also need you to try it on. I used your measurements from the media about you, Dorito Man.”

“Is that what they call me?” Steve asked with a small chuckle “Yes, and it’s what your friend Natasha told me to call you when she helped me out with the guesstimating.”

“Of course she did.”

“She actually offered to help you test the suit out,” Shuri said as she stopped in front of a glass display case, containing a dark navy suit. Natasha stepped out from behind it with an impish grin on her face. “Hey, Cap.”

“Nat!” Steve exclaimed as he wrapped her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you! Hey, I’ve been meaning to come find you and ask, how’s Y/N?”

“No, Steve.”

“C’mon Nat! Please!”

“Just put on the damn suit. Let’s get this over with,” Nat said, her voice laced with disdain. Shuri directed Steve behind a changing partition he requested, all the while insisting that it was nothing they hadn’t seen before. He emerged a few minutes later with his new suit on. It felt great and fit like a glove. “Stand on the line,” Natasha directed him, pointing to a tapeline on the floor. “I’m gonna hit you now,” and she did. She punched Steve as hard as he had ever seen her hit anyone, even their enemies, even HYDRA’s goonies.

“Jesus, Nat!”

“I said that I was going to hit you.”

“Not that hard!”

“Whatever. Now, run into that wall.”

“Why is Shuri recording?” Steve asked suspiciously. “Research purposes,” she answered simply, as she adjusted her tablet for a better angle. Steve did what he was told and ran into the wall. Immediately, he was blown back by some unseen force and knocked 20 feet onto his back. “That is so going viral!”

“What the hell was that?” he mustered out weakly over the sounds of everybody laughing with Nat being the loudest. “The kinetic energy in the suit,” Shuri answered. “I thought I warned you.”

“We all get revenge in different ways. I asked Shuri to help you test your suit. You forget, you left me too. Tell Sharon I say hi,” Nat said before walking out of the room proudly, still chuckling. “I think that I had better head back to my room now,” Steve said as he managed to rise to his feet. “See you tonight, Captain,” T’challa said as he attempted to stifle his laughs.

…

That night, Steve dressed himself in the suit that had been left at his door. It was a deep navy color that brought out the blue in his eyes. It was paired with a simple white shirt. Everything fit him perfectly like it had been tailor made for him, although he supposed it had been. He looked at himself anxiously in the mirror. He was afraid and excited. It was the first time that he would see you in 3 years. He didn’t know if he was ready. He started to walk downstairs, and he had to stop himself from running all the way to the main hall. He fiddled nervously with his cufflinks the entire way down in the elevator. When he reached the main hall, he realized how early he was. Only Natasha was there, standing behind the bar in a tailored white button down and black vest, fixing herself a drink.

“Hey,” Steve called out as he approached the bar. “Are we good after this morning?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to humiliate you.”

“I probably deserved it.”

“No, you definitely did. What are you drinking?”

“Do you have any of that Asgardian stuff from the last time that Thor was on Earth?”

“Ooh, starting off the night strong are we?”

“Well, I’m gonna see Y/N tonight.”

“Steve, are you sure that it’s a good idea to talk to her? She was messed up after you left, and now, she’s finally in a good place.”

“Why is everybody saying that? I love her! What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing,” Nat said, sounding tired, as she placed Steve’s drink in front of him. More people had filtered in at this point including Bucky. “Do you think that I should even try to talk to him?” Steve asked as he stared miserably at the bottom of his glass. “You’re best friends. It couldn’t hurt.”

“You didn’t see how mad he was yesterday.”

“I know how mad he got, and he had every right to do so, but Steve you’ve already lost him so many times. Don’t let it happen again.”

“I hate it when you’re right,” Steve said as he pushed away from the bar. “How are you doing?” he asked as he walked up to Bucky. “Worse, now that you’re here.”

“Are you kidding me? Why can’t we just be adults about this?”

“Last I checked, you haven’t acted like an adult in 3 years, if you ever did.”

“Are you really still this mad at me?”

“Are you really still a punk?” Bucky joked with a wink. “I missed you bud,” Steve said into Bucky’s hair as he enveloped him in a bruising hug, one that was returned with equal love this time. “I missed you too.”

Suddenly, Steve froze in Bucky’s arms. Bucky turned to see what had caused his friend’s sudden change, and saw you. You were making your way down the stairs into the ballroom, and you looked like a princess. Your hair had gotten longer since the last time Steve had seen you. It cascaded past your shoulders in soft curls. The dress you were wearing was champagne colored with a magnificent tulle skirt that belled out at your waist. The entire dress shimmered, giving you the illusion of having been showered in sparkles. You had reached the main floor and Steve saw your face light up when you caught sight of him.

“Hey!” you trilled as you completely overlooked Steve and flung yourself into Bucky’s arms. “Hey, Y/N. You look stunning,” Bucky stammered when he regained the ability to speak. “What the hell is going on here?” Steve asked incredulously. You whirled around and recognition flashed in your eyes as you backed father into Bucky’s chest and he wrapped his arms around you protectively. “Steve,” you gasped, the name falling from your lips like a forgotten prayer. “You- you can’t be here.”

“Really? Because the king personally reached out and asked for my help. Now does one of you care to explain?”

“You left,” you said defensively. “What are the two of you doing?”

“I thought you were gonna tell him,” you said to Bucky. “I needed more time. It’s not exactly something that you rush into when you see somebody for the first time in three years.”

“Tell me what?”

“Steve, let’s not. I mean, c’mon, we’re on good terms and besi-“ Bucky said, trying to soothe the situation, before Steve cut him off. “Screwing my girlfriend doesn’t exactly scream buddies!”

“That’s not fair,” you mumbled into Bucky’s chest, where you had turned and hidden your head. “What?” Steve asked, growing angrier by the minute. “That’s not fair, and you know it. You left me. I was devastated. Bucky was there for me, so excuse me for moving on!” you shouted as you whirled back around.” “I didn’t…”

“Didn’t what? Leave me? So then what do you call running off to Europe for three years without a word?”

“You don’t understand. I had to,” Steve said quietly with his head hung low like a puppy with his tail tucked between his legs. “Oh, so you were held at gunpoint? Were you forced to leave without saying goodbye?”

“Well, no, but-“

“Because the way I heard it,” you continued overtop of Steve’s protests. “Sharon wanted nothing to do with you after that crappy kiss, so she hopped around Europe for three years, trying to escape you, while you attempted to interrogate her about her dead aunt.”

“She kissed me.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses Steve!”

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Steve asked Bucky who now was standing a couple of steps behind you. “I think she’s got it covered.”

“You have no right to have any opinion about Bucky and I’s relationship. You shouldn’t even be here.”

“Y/N…”

“You can’t claim me as your property, Steve, not when you threw me away like a piece of trash.”

“Please.”

“I hope she was worth it,” you spat, before walking away and taking Bucky with you.

[cottage-babe]

Burning Scars part I (zuko x reader)

Chapter 1 | Next

Masterlist

So this idea has been stuck in my head for a while now... I think I've been watching too much Netflix :(

This is gonna be a slow burn I think, but bare with me guys. I've literally planned everything out already and we're gonna have lots of Uncle Iroh moments :) Who wouldn't want to hang out with him?

Summary: Y/n, a werewolf from a hidden village, comes across Zuko and Iroh after being exiled. How has fate intertwined the wolf's life into the avatar's destiny?

***This chapter takes place on Season 2 Episode 8, just after their fight with Azula.

___

Pain.

Pain is all Y/n felt.

It spiked into the soles of her feet, burned through her calves, and crept up into one of her thighs. Oh yeah, her thigh.

She glanced down at it and saw dark red gushing from it. The large animal bite that adorned it spread from her pelvis to her knee. The scar was going to be so very deep.

Despite her bodily pain, she kept running. She stepped on rocks, twigs, anything that layed on her unplanned path. She could feel bruises on her arms and stomach, but absolutely nothing would stop her. She had to leave this forest now.

It's kind of crazy how the place that was once her home could convert to something so terrifying. She used to feel at peace here; comforted by the trees that shielded her from the blind eye. But now, she feared what was lurking behind each branch; paranoid that someone was following her, but why would they? They had no use for her anymore.

A loud crack rumbled through the silent forest.

A storm was coming.

Oh, just my luck.

Fate, however, was on her side. She finally reached the edge of the forest, but stopped before her foot passed the border. She glanced around until she was met with the sight of two men. They seemed to be doing a weird dance; synchronized all the way down to their crouched knees. They wore deep brown clothes and the older one seemed to be injured as his shoulder was wrapped tightly with white bandages.

Y/n gazed down at her body. Spirits....

She forgot that she wasn't wearing any clothes. These human traditions seem to constantly slip her mind.

The old, wooden house a few feet across the sand was going to be her place to rest, but it seemed that the two men were camping there. And she definitely cannot confront them naked.

Maybe she could steal some clothes and find somewhere else to rest?

Yes, that would have to do.

While the boy's backs were turned, Y/n rushed into the cottage and tiptoed on the wooden floors. If they creaked, that'd be it for her. She grabbed the first bag she saw and ruffled through it. There was a pouch of money... a blue mask... Aha! A shirt! It was the same shade of brown that the two men wore and was extremely long.

When she threw the shirt over her head, she didn't notice how crowded her area was. Her foot moved slightly and knocked over a tea cup. It's shrill clinking made Y/n pause in fear. Maybe they didn't hear it...?

She was so so so wrong.

The two men made it inside the house at an astonishing speed. They held their arms at a threatening angle and had fierce looks on their faces. On the left was the old, injured one from earlier. He was chubby and shorter than the other man, and looked as if he was analyzing her whole life.

The one on the right was young and angry. He had a scar etched into the skin around his left eye. Y/n could only picture the pain he had gone through before it healed.

Well, the injury on her leg didn't really leave much of it to the imagination. But still.

Luckily, the shirt was long enough to cover most of her; it ended at around the middle of her thigh. She kept glancing between the two men, waiting for them to say something or attack her. The young one looked like he was going to kill her if she even twitched, so Y/n decided to keep still and wait for their first move.

The older one finally seemed to notice her blood covered leg and lowered his arms.

"You are hurt," he declared as he looked at the boy. "We must help her."

"No! She's trying to steal our stuff." Then the boy looked at the girl straight in the eyes. "Who are you and why are you here?"

"Now now, you never ask a traveler for their story, nephew. It'll come with time." The old man took a step toward Y/n and she flinched, trying to decide if she could make a run for it. "I'm just going to go through my bag to find my bandages, so I can wrap your wounds... and make you some tea!"

His bright, welcoming smile calmed Y/n and she walked backwards until her back hit the wall. The boy was still glaring at her while his uncle put a kettle on the fire.

Wait, was that fire always there? I swear it wasn't...

She didn't have much time to dwell on it as the old man patted the floor next to him; a signal for her to sit.

Y/n slowly walked over and sat down. She tried to bend her legs, but only managed to do so with the non injured one. The boy's uncle hummed as he took in her injuries.

"Lee, can you go and fetch me a bucket of water?"

The boy, Lee, presumably, was still watching the girls every movement. It almost seemed like he never blinked.

"Lee... LEE!"

Finally, he looked at his uncle in confusion.

"What?"

"Can you get me some water? I need to wash all this blood."

It seemed like Lee finally took in the severity of the girl's injury. He looked pale at the sight of the blood dripping onto the floor. He nodded his head and ran out to get his uncle's request.

"I'm terribly sorry for my nephew, he doesn't take too kindly to strangers." The old man smiled again. "I'm Mushi and that was Lee."

Y/n nodded her head in acknowledgement. "I'm Y/n."

"Hmm... I've never heard that name before, but it's beautiful nonetheless!"

Y/n cursed herself silently. How could she forget that her name wasn't... normal here with the humans. She could've made up one on the spot, like Jin or something.

Finally, Lee came back with a bucket of water. He hauled it over to his uncle, who had a cloth ready to be drenched. Mushi started to clean the blood around and on the wound; an action that made Y/n hiss out in pain. She bit tightly onto her hand to make sure no other noises would escape her. Mushi had an apologetic look on his face as he grabbed the white bandages off the floor. Knowing that the worst was over, she took a deep breath to relax.

"I was... bit by an animal." Y/n whispered.

Both of the men looked up in surprise; they probably weren't expecting her to answer a question they hadn't even asked.

"There's no animals around here that would leave a bite that harsh," Lee said with mistrust dripping from his words.

...there actually is. Like a lot.

Before she could correct him, Mushi intervened.

"What my nephew meant to say was: we're terribly sorry you had to go through that. Please, rest here for the night. A storm is coming and it's not best for travel."

Y/n paused. Stay here?

Well, this would give her time to process everything.

"Thank you so much. I hope that I can repay your kindness one day." Y/n bowed her head slightly.

Lee looked like he wanted to protest this, but one look from Mushi shut him up.

"No need. Your company is payment enough!" Mushi laughed as he waved his hand.

Y/n smiled back at the old man gratefully as he finished wrapping her wound. She is fortunate to have come across this pair. Well, one of them at least.

"Mushi, may I talk to you? Outside?" Lee whispered to his uncle.

Mushi and Lee walked out of the cabin and talked quietly. Y/n tried to listen in, but the sound of the pouring rain drowned out their voices. Huh, it's raining.

Y/n crawled to the corner of the room farthest from the fire and supplies. She hadn't realized it, but she was exhausted from today. Soon she found herself drifting slowly off to sleep, but her mind was still restless.

___

Y/n leaned on all four of her legs. Her fur was slicked back from the mud on the ground. The entire pack was surrounding her and her opponent; a tight circle being formed.

She looked at her brothers who were at the edge of the circle. They were equally as wounded as her, covered in mud, blood, and cuts. She met one of their eyes and he looked away; what was he shameful of? He's safe.

Y/n didn't even bother to glance at her parents. She already knew the disappointment and anger that would leak from their expression into her soul. She instead decided to focus on her opponent.

It was her sister. Born from the same litter, carried by the same mother, Ayano was her blood through and through. They grew up together, played together, and broke rules together. They were almost inseparable before this moment.

But oh, this moment had changed everything.

Ayano's eyes were dark. They held murder inside of them and seemed to bleed into the snarl that adorned her mouth. Her gray fur was just as matted as the rest of the fighters, but she was still Y/n's beautiful, compassionate sister. How, oh how, could these traditions put sisters against one another?

Their father howled and it caused the whole pack to follow his lead.

The signal to begin the duel.

Y/n could not fight her sister. She wasn't exactly sure if she could win, but she definitely didn't want to find out. This was her blood.

So instead of jumping at Ayano, she bowed her head. Her front arms bent to show her surrender.

She half expected Ayano to do the same, or show at least a sliver of mercy. But she didn't. Instead, she released a low growl that said: fight me, you coward.

Then, Ayano pounced with her teeth barred and her claws -

__

"Hey... Hey, wake up."

She opened her eyes and shot up in panic. Unfortunately, Lee was way closer than she thought and her head slammed into his. They both groaned out in pain and Y/n laid back on the floor to sooth her pounding head.

"Sorry, you just scared me," she groaned out.

Lee had a hand to his forehead and one eye was closed. "Whatever, just put these pants on and then come outside. Uncle wants to talk."

He through to trousers at her face then walked out the door, grumbling slightly.

Y/n was still catching her breath from the memory. It seemed like such a long time ago, yet it was only yesterday. Her hand drifted to her bandages; the blood had peeked through slightly, but nothing major. Who would've known that yesterday's Y/n would be so different from today's?

She slipped on the brown pants that Lee gave her and rolled up the bottom of them. It was obviously Lee's clothes and they were far too big for her. Then she saw a clean bucket of water a few feet away with a cloth on the side. They must've left it for her.

Y/n cleaned up her face and arms to her best ability. She didn't feel the best, but she felt better.

Then she walked outside to meet the fresh air and welcoming rays of sun. They beamed down on her skin; warming her flesh and a small part of her soul. Was this going to be the happiest she could be? Hopefully not.

Y/n looked off to the right and saw the two men sitting around a fire. They probably moved it out here so she could sleep better. The ground was still a little soggy as she walked towards the duo, but it still beat the pebbles she walked on before.

Mushi greeted her with a smile and a soft "good morning." Lee, on the other hand, was staring at her very attentively. When she met his gaze, his eyes formed a glare and a light blush spread across his cheeks. He looked away sharply towards the fire.

"I've made some more tea, since you didn't get to drink any last night," Mushi said as he poured her some.

Y/n bowed her head and accepted the cup. She took a seat near Mushi and sipped her tea.

Mmm this is so good!

She just about chugged the rest of her beverage; an action that would been embarrassing if she wasn't so thirsty. Mushi kindly gave her more and watched as she drank it slower.

"So," the uncle started, "Lee and I talked and we decided to offer you a ride to the nearest town."

Y/n's eyes widened as she heard his words.

"No, please, it's fine! You've already done so much for me, I can't accept this."

"Of course you can!" Mushi exclaimed. Then, he leaned close to Y/n to whisper, "and maybe we can think of a way to get Lee to smile on the way there."

She giggled and looked at Lee, who was glaring at the two of them with his tea cup gripped tightly in his hand.

Ok, maybe she'll stay with them just a little bit longer. Just a little.

___

I'm not a furry I'm not a furry I'm not a furry

Things will make more sense in the next chapter!

I'm probably gonna update once a week, so let me know if you wanna be tagged or something <3

Chapter 1 | Next

Masterlist

[heathneycanon]

okay so i ranked 113 total drama/ridonculous race ships based on how much i like them with explanations below the cut.. fair warning that i’m a lil mean to some of the ships lower on the list.

also i forgot to include dwayne senior and that one girl’s mom from rr because i literally forgot they existed until now, and i don’t want to manually add them in so i’ll just say that i think they’re cute but not super interesting.

EDIT: this has been updated post-roti-rewatch. i switched around the order of a couple ships, and added a new one. if i ever rewatch rr or pahkitew i’ll probably edit it again, but the likelihood of me rewatching either of those seasons any time soon is... ok i was about to say it was slim but it’s probably not

also i’m not ever adding in dwayne and the mom because i like it being a part f the description lmao. an afterthought. as it should be.

enjoy!

113. stephanie/ryan - i HATE the daters/haters. they’re like a weird, shitty mix of tda gidgette and duncney. like, they’re either annoyingly all over each other, or they’re toxic and fighting. tbh, they’re pretty toxic all the time. they stuck around for way too long imho.

112. jacques/josee - I CHANGED MY MIND IGNORE THIS

111. tom/jen - tom is canonically gay, and i hc jen as a lesbian. so i’m not a fan of this ship.

110. nemma - yeahh, knowing me, this is also a predictably low ranking. i hc noah as gay and emma as a lesbian, so again, i don’t vibe with this one.

109. coderra - i can only deal with this ship in rewrites. i’ve seen super well thought out rewrites of coderra and sierra’s character, but as it stands, i really don’t ship this at all.

108. davesky - dave is an incel lmao. anyway yea this ship initially seemed like bootleg zoke, which was kind of bootleg gwent, but then BOY did davesky get worse. i can’t stand dave and i can’t stand pairing him with sky, either.

107. leonard/sugar - why. i hate both of these characters. no thank u.

106. ella/dave - ok so u know i don’t like dave. i also hc ella as a lesbian, she hasn’t realized it and is dealing with comphet. i don’t like this ship.

105. topher/ella - i hc both of them as gay. they are friends tho.

104. macarthur/brody - in case you’re noticing a trend, i do in fact hc macarthur as a lesbian. i also don’t really care about her at all lmao. anyway, not a fan of this one. i really don’t understand why fresh thought this was a good idea.

103. noah/katie - again, i hc noah as gay, but this ship is more funny to me than anything else because these characters were shipped together so often early on, when they both a) barely had any characterization and b) had never interacted? anyway yea i don’t ship it.

102. cameron/sierra - this one’s weird? literally sierra had a crush on him or whatever because he reminded her of cody even though they’re… nothing alike? dude please get sierra some therapy oh my god

101. heather/justin - i knew someone who really, really shipped them once, which is why i’m including it. anyway i cannot see this ship at all, next.

100. amy/rodney - i guess this existed? i barely remember pahkitew, and i know rodney had a bunch of crushes, but this is the main one i remember so it’s the only one i can be bothered to include. anyway this relationship didn’t seem healthy at all.

99. max/scarlett - i don’t like max and i don’t really care about scarlett, but i also hc both of them as gay, so this is a no from me.

98. gwody - creepy and bad. i don’t trust people who ship this or davesky.

97. dashawn - shawn can do better. that one scene where they look at each other when dave has to kiss the person next to him is kinda funny tho.

96. topher/dave - marginally better than all other dave ships just because topher is there and i like topher. again tho, topher can do much better.

95. malejandro - why does this ship exist.

94. ezekiel/bridgette - not my thing at all. i don’t care about zeke too much, and i have a lot more ships with bridgette that i prefer over this one.

93. cody/beth - i only care about cody in certain contexts, and i practically never care about beth. i wouldn’t click off of a fic if this were a background pairing or whatever, but i definitely wouldn’t seek it out.

92. ezekiel/beth - again, don’t really care about beth or ezekiel that much. but in certain contexts, i can see why this would be cute.

91. courtney/jose - the only way this is cute is alongside aleheather, so that courtney and heather could marry into the same family. but also, why is this a ship that exists?

90. scourtney - i love both scott and courtney, but no thank u. they had absolutely no chemistry, and courtney was using scott both in the competition and as a rebound. not a fan.

89. gwen/cameron - is this a thing that exists? i found a screenshot of gwen kissing cameron on the cheek but is that edited? if it is real, i probably blocked it from my mind.

88. courtney/cameron - now i know this one exists in the weirdest, stupidest way the show could’ve gone about it. barely even qualifies as a ship, and it’s definitely not a good one.

87. duncan/zoey - i kind of see why others would like this one, but at the same time, it doesn’t really appeal to me.

86. alejandro/courtney - i love alejandro and i love courtney. but i can only see them as friends, tho i can see them like. kissing just because they’re bored. or to fuck with people. they did that in the show, right? kind of? i forget the specifics.

85. chris/blaineley - while i guess i can see why people ship this, chref is canon and blaineley is a lesbian.

84. katie and/or sadie/justin - why would katie or sadie date justin, when they’re in love?

83. gwuncan - maybe could’ve been good, but literally everything about how they got together and their relationship in canon has tainted my view of this ship. i definitely preferred them as friends in tda anyway. there’s a lotta cute gwuncan fanart out there so i do rb it sometimes tho. i see why people ship this, i get the potential, but for me it’s soured by world tour.

82. laurie/miles - who?

81. mary/ellody - yea ok they’re smart gfs, but also i literally don’t give a shit about either of them.

80. pete/gerry - they’re definitely dating but again i don’t care about them.

79. mike/cameron - not a horrible ship by any means, i just don’t really like cameron that much.

78. alejandro/justin - there are so many superior alejandro ships. and a handful of slightly better justin ships.

77. carrie/devin - wow they didn’t have a storyline that was original in any way! they’re pretty cute tho.

76. sanders/macarthur - would be higher but acab.

75. macarthur/josee - i really like the whole rivals to lovers thing, but again, acab. this is higher than sanders/macarthur because of the rivals to lovers, but mostly it’s because there’s only one bastard cop here rather than two.

74. owen/alejandro - i don’t really mind this one, but i see it as more of a one sided crush on owen’s side.

73. lightning/cameron - i don’t really care about cameron, but the jock/nerd dynamic is kinda good.

72. rockspud - they’re definitely a couple, but as the trend indicates, i really can’t bring myself to care too much about rr ships.

71. lindsay/beth - best beth ship, worst lindsay ship. i like one this better if lindsay is also dating tyler.

70. lindsay/lightning - a crackship i made up when i was eleven. i just think it’s really funny.

69. noco - not a bad ship, it’s just not my thing. i definitely see why other people ship it, i just ship both of them with other people.

68. ella/sugar - i see why people ship this as well, but i just really don’t like sugar. i can bring myself to see past that because this dynamic is genuinely good.

67. sierra/heather - i’ve seen this in au’s and rewrites of sierra’s character, and i see the potential. not bad.

66. bawn - they’re cute i guess? i just never really saw the appeal. they’re not bad by any means, it just seems kind of bland.

65. dakota/zoey - okay so i’m adding this one in as i’m reordering stuff because i rewatched roti. i didn’t have this here initially but their friendship was cute until zoey was all “she’s scary” and voted her off. just saying, if zoey wasn’t written as a hypocrite and was actually written as a COOL character that lived up to the potential of her concept, this would’ve slapped. also i love any combo of dawn, zoey, and dakota, because they’re cute. i’m not including poly ships on here because that’d make things wayy complicated, but i’d be here for a poly ship of these three.

64. scott/zoey - UPDATED. was originally “yea something about this rubs me the wrong way. i feel like if i rewatched roti i would remember what, but i’m not going to do that just for this list. maybe someday.” i ended up rewatching roti for unrelated reasons the next day, and honestly? this one is not that bad. could be cute, potentially.

63. dj/katie - i guess this one’s pretty cute? i don’t really remember them interacting, but i guess i can see why someone would like this.

62. dunhar - i see why people ship this one. i kind of like it? i feel like it would work really well in an au or a rewrite.

61. dott - UPDATED. was originally “i used to kind of like this ship, but now i really don’t. i do love the idea of dawn and scott as best friends who bully each other in the friendly kind of way, though.” but i rewatched roti and... this has potential. i kinda like it. still prefer the bullying friendship tho.

60. scott/mike - again, i see why people would ship it. i’m not sure if people actually do? but it seems like the sort of thing i might have shipped in middle school, so someone probably likes it. but meh, it’s not really my thing anymore.

59. topher/shawn - i don’t remember if these two interacted but i guess this could be cute? maybe?

58. sky/ella - yea it’s cute i guess? i don’t really have an opinion on this one beyond that.

57. dawn/dj - i mean… i get where this comes from. i fully understand. i personally see them becoming close friends, but i also see why people would ship them.

56. dawn/brick - again, i see them much more as friends, but i get why people would ship them.

55. geoff/gwen - this ship kinda interests me because it was originally going to be canon in camp tv, but because of that one gweoff friendship episode in island i see them as unlikely friends.

54. dj/bridgette - maybe you’re sensing a trend here, but i see them as friends. i could probably get on board with shipping them, though.

53. deather - i like them as friends more, but i do think a relationship between them could be fun.

52. ella/dawn - i feel like i’ve seen this ship? it’s not bad! i’m not the biggest fan of ella but this is pretty cute.

51. zoke - i really want to like them, and i wish they were written better. as is, i kind of ship them? there’s nothing wrong with zoke. but both as characters and as a ship, they could’ve been so much better.

50. noah/justin - this one’s interesting! i’ve never actively shipped it, but i can see it for sure. it’s cute!

49. owen/justin - again, not something i’ve actively shipped, but i like it!

48. carrie/kitty - i think they’re both in their late teens? like 18ish? appropriate ages for each other? if so, i like this one. they’d be cute

47. josee/jen - yea i like this. i feel like they would get along pretty well. they’re both successful in their own right. power couple for sure.

46. tom/jacques - again. power couple. i also think they’d go on double dates with jen and josee, which i like a lot. honestly both of these teams are the epitome of mlm/wlw solidarity. i like this one.

45. alecody - i like it! i don’t have much to say about them at all, but i like it.

44. brody/geoff - good ship! putting the romance in bromance. i like this one more when it’s combined with gidgette though.

43. anne maria/vito - originally i put “what is the appeal of this ship? genuinely asking.” as the description, and then an anon sent in this reply: “You wanted the appeal of anne maria and vito? Well here it is; they are both so dumb. Not a brain cell between the two of them. Imagine them trying to do anything domestic like. They could not assemble a bookshelf or make a pot of spaghetti without it turning into a horrible, but memorably fun, mess. They’re soft for eachother but would kick anyone’s ass for so much as looking at the other. Sorry im rambling lmao i just think they are so funny together”. i get the appeal now, so i’m moving this one up.

42. lindsay/courtney - lmao their dynamic is so funny. i don’t know how well a relationship between them would go, but i can see court realizing over time that lindsay is a lot smarter than she initially seems to be. idk courtney’s observant and lindsay is actually pretty smart. i can see it happening.

41. trent/justin - best justin ship, worst trent ship (that i can think of. i’m sure there are more trent ships but i can’t think of them lmao). i can see them getting along pretty well! i bet in universe a bunch of drama brothers fans ship them, because of course they do. i can see the potential here.

40. lindsay/heather - yea this one could be good. i’d like to see a post world tour version of this ship, or an island au where they get together. either way, i like the idea of this one.

39. lindsay/gwen - again, this ship is pretty good. gwen was kind of rude to lindsay at points, but i think after she stood up to heather, gwen gained some respect for her. idk i can see it happening.

38. lightning/scott - is this jock/farmer? jock/asshole? i’m not sure, but i really like it.

37. harzeke - tumblr user harzeke has opened my eyes. their posts are enlightening. the reason i kind of like ezekiel. harzeke is a good ship.

36. sadie/lindsay - remember in phobia factor when they were hyping each other up? yeah. they’d be cute together.

35. dundie - you know, i really didn’t expect them to make this one canon, but total drama dundie came outta nowhere. i wasn’t sure i was going to like them together, but fresh pulled together it’s first coherent plot in years and created a beautiful love story. very well done.

34. chref - chref is canon and u can’t tell me otherwise.

33. katie/sadie - after they got over their comphet, they realized they were in love and they end up having a really cute wedding.

32. ozzy - this ship is cute! they’re both bi and i hc they talk about cute people together because of course they do. also they would be so much fun to be around. i like them.

31. dj/geoff - djeoff? yea i like this. i think they’d both go out of their way to do sweet things for the other, but of course, they’re still geoff and dj. dj would probably bake a lot for geoff, but at least once, he’s gotten nervous and dropped it by accident. and geoff practices pick up lines and jokes before their dates but they’re like. the bad ones. dj loves them. anyway! this ship is good.

30. courtney/trent - i really, REALLY love them as friends, but i like them as a ship too! honestly i just love them getting along in any capacity. i think they’d be cute.

29. dawn/dakota - i made this up five minutes ago and i love it. i have no idea if people actually ship this but they should. just… think about it for a second. think about it and then try to tell me i’m wrong. u can’t.

28. alenoah - noah had a crush on alejandro during world tour, and u can quote me on this. i think they would be a power couple for sure. i like this one.

27. gidgette - season one gidgette is amazing. gidgette in the context of the killer bass five is amazing. season two and three gidgette is kind of meh to me, but not horrible i guess! i like geoff and bridgette and i think they’re cute together.

26. duncan/dj - i like the idea of this one. remember when duncan found dj a bunny? yea. they’d be cute.

25. jock - jock is good. rivals to allies to lovers. that’s the path i see this ship going down. i really like picturing them in any sort of au where they can kick ass together.

24. gwourtney - i used to like this one a lot more, but it’s still very good. i love the idea of them both mistakenly attributing their feelings for each other to duncan and accidentally ruining their friendship in the process. and by love i mean hate but also think is a good interpretation of the love triangle. i can see them together in an au, or after seriously reconciling in the future. or, honestly, in any universe where sundae muddy sundae doesn’t exist.

23. leshawna/gwen - did i hear u say best friends to lovers? no? well you’re getting them anyway. leshawna and gwen would be amazing i’m telling u. it’s a good ship.

22. tyler/alejandro - this is the third time i’ve said someone had a crush on alejandro during world tour, but. tyler had a crush on alejandro during world tour. i think they’d make a cute couple.

21. jashawn - this is a relationship built on respect and trust and i am here for that. they’re both a lil weird but neither of them mind, and they care about each other so much… i’m soft.

20. jasammy - i like this only marginally better than jashawn. honestly, i like all three dating the most. but anyway, jasmine was the first person who saw sammy as more than an extension of her sister… she stuck up for her. she was sammy’s first real friend. can i just reiterate… i’m soft.

19. evzy - they would light your house on fire together just cuz they were in the mood. eva bench presses izzy every morning. do not try to challenge them to any sort of competition, they will win by any means possible. eva picks izzy up at every opportunity. whenever they cook anything, they burn it. is this by accident or on purpose? i’m not sure. izzy likes lighting stuff on fire and eva likes eating burnt food for some reason, so it doesn’t really matter. i love their dynamic so much.

18. jomaria - if u were talking shit about either one of them, they would both get together and beat u up. they’re both legends and i love them.

17. gweather - total trauma comic has truly opened my eyes… i really like them in a future setting where they’re both more mature and can understand how they were both in the wrong at times during total drama, and ended up hurting people and were hurt themselves, and work through that together. so basically… in the setting of the total trauma comic.

16. heather/leshawna - rivals to lovers…. au where leshawna and heather get together during tda… i’m telling u it’s a good ship.

15. nowen - imho, this is both the best noah ship and the best owen ship. they complement each other so well. world tour nowen is just. the peak of their dynamic. i think enough has been said about nowen that you can understand why i would like it, so i’m just gonna move on.

14. trody - this one came outta NOWHERE a while back, i’m telling u. but i love it?? i liked their friendship in island, and i just. i love the idea of cody having a crush on both gwen and trent during island, misunderstanding that and thinking he just has a crush on gwen, and realizing after island at some point that he also liked trent. and then trent developing a crush on cody after the breakup with gwen and just… dijfalsfjla honestly i like them in so many contexts. thank u tumblr user gothcody for bringing the trody hype. anyway they’re a good ship!

13. bridgecourt - my favorite bridgette ship! idk i loved bridgette and courtney’s friendship in island, and i can see them having a best friends to lovers type of deal. i just think they’d be cute together, and their relationship would be really healthy and balanced.

12. gwoey - u can try and tell me there wasn’t a little something between these two in all stars, but u would be wrong. their designs compliment each other really well, they’re cute together… i’m a fan.

11. lesharold - SO valid. harold drinks his respect women juice every morning, except for that one time he rigged the votes in island to vote out courtney because he was mad at duncan smh. anyway this is a relationship built on RESPECT and CARE. they’re very cute together, and i love them.

10. dawn/zoey - the superior doey. listen the only reason these two weren’t friends is because fresh decided that zoey was going to think dawn was “weird”? but what if zoey just said that because she didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she found zoey cute… zoey is the epitome of that “i had a crush on a girl and i didn’t know how to deal with it so i sent her a letter that said ‘get out of my school’” tweet. n e way they would be such a good couple.

9. samkota - dafjlsflkaakf i think about samkota and i freak out i’m telling u. like is there anything. ANYTHING. better than a guy loving and respecting his girlfriend unconditionally? and mutual love and respect? … well i mean there are several more entries on this list, so okay, maybe a couple of things, but this shit is galaxy brain right here.

8. aleduncan - ok so apparently something i like slightly more than partners who are soft and even softer for each other is total assholes who care about each other. like alejandro is a gentleman… but he’s a manipulative jerk too. and duncan’s a fucking asshole and i love him for it. anyway when they teamed up in world tour, especially in that episode where they hunted ezekiel (??? what is total drama??) i really liked their dynamic.

7. lyler - ok back to love and respect. tyler and lindsay are so good!! tyler got so excited when lindsay remembered who he was right? and lindsay never stopped asking ppl if they were tyler ok. like she knew she cared about tyler enough to want to be with him even when she didn’t know who he was?? i feel like we don’t talk about the implications of this enough. honestly… i feel like people overlook how much the period in between tyler’s elimination and slap slap evolution must have sucked for both of them? like it was played for laughs but… that shit’s sad :( ok i’m done being sad they’re cute and they love each other and i love them.

6. gwent - yea u got me i still care about them. tdi gwent was really sweet! there was a lil pining. a lil outside meddling. and a lot of cute. and GOD during the finale when trent ran alongside gwen with that boulder? he cared about her so much!! of course action ruined it with the shitty portrayal of ocd and a healthy portion of not fucking communicating with your partner, but before that it was good.

5. truncan - you got me, i like the idea of trent serenading duncan with his guitar and duncan liking it a lot more than he anticipated. i think they’d have a dynamic that’s a little more turbulent than most other trent ships, but less so than most other duncan ships. they’d be a lot more balanced i think. i’m a fan of that.

4. scuncan - okay so u remember how i said i like to ship two fucking assholes together? scuncan is peak asshole/asshole rights. all stars totally missed their chance to have these two team up by dumbing scott down, whatever they did with duncan, and of course, introducing scourtney, i’m just saying. scott was actually playing the game pretty well in roti, and duncan was a veteran of the series. the two of them could’ve dominated the game. those fuckin assholes.

3. aleheather - okay now this ship was like, the only central ship that started out good and ended good in this entire series, except maybe jashawn but they don’t count because they were literally only in 13 episodes. anyway they did rivals to lovers right here. also, they simultaneously gave heather a great character arc and wrote alejandro super well. so the characters as individuals were great at the time they got together, and the couple was great together, so what i’m trying to say is… aleheather was and still is amazing.

2. duncney - in case u couldn’t tell from how high gwent is on this list, i am a fan of the tdi ships. another thing you might be able to tell from this list- duncan and courtney are two of my favorite characters in the series. so of course duncney gets a high placement on this list. not only that, but they go from disliking each other to really liking each other, which is something else that i really like. tdi duncney is opposites attract in the best way, where they compliment each other each other instead of clash. beyond that… ugh. eughhh. i don’t even want to think about that. but duncney in tdi alone earns itself number two on the list.

1. heathney - yes i love girls. yes this ship is pretty fucking basic. and no, there are no heathney fics on ao3. i will be attempting to remedy that. anyway, i could see them pulling a rivals to friends to lovers as well, which is one of my absolute favorite tropes. i think they’d be a total power couple. and to top it off, i love them both. a lot. so much. thank u for ur time.