#i promise i draw more than this i just take forever to post things

[avdoingstuff]

i’ve got soo many unfinished sasha wips but today i have a recently finished one!!

[Image ID: Sasha Waybright is standing with his back visible and looking over his left shoulder. They’re wearing a black turtle neck shirt with a dark pink pleated skirt. He has a danging pink gen earring in his left ear. Their hair is in a ponytail and it’s draping over their right shoulder. He has brown (hair) roots showing and a brown undercut going up to about mid ear. He’s smirking. There’s a shadow of his silhouette behind them.The background is a dark red square with a light pink boarder. Inside the red square there are 4 other smaller rectangles of varying shades of pink and red. Inside the smaller rectangles there’s text that reads “Transmasc swag”, “Bi bitch 4 real”, and “he/they” surrounded by little white hearts. There are also light pink stars in the bottom right corner of the large red square. End ID.]

i may be a she/he/they transmasc genderfluid sasha fan first and foremost, but he/they sasha is such a vibe

he’s so cool and swag btw, love that funky guy

[eskir]

dusk - sunday x gn!reader

warnings - nsfw, smut, dubcon, and slight yandere?

word count - 864

a/n | i have no clue what i'm doing with this tbh and i apologize if there are any mistakes. this is probably one of my first writing bits for him and my grammar is off, i will admit. was also unsure of whether to keep it in third person or second so i just choose the latter. no explicit details and the first paragraph was just me trying to get into the mood of writing. thanks for reading if you do! oh, also took some inspo from sleepingelvhen's and mimisplayground's posts. i am also so embarrassed by what i wrote at 11pm so take this fever dream.

He smiles down upon you, playing the role of an angel as he extends a hand, a helping hand, as if he had nothing to do with your current situation. As if he didn’t orchestrate it so that you would gratefully take his hand, run into his arms and cling onto him as if he was the only safe thing in your world. And Sunday relished feeling like he was the only thing that mattered. Even more, he loved controlling and twisting events and words so successfully to fulfill his own desires. Sunday loved that you never found out, and he would do anything to keep it that way.

He loved it when you were under him, panting with your face painted a deep shade of red. He enjoyed looking over you, touching you in places that he knew would elicit little sounds. Dragging his finger down your spine slowly, watching your back arch and not caring if you begged for him to hurry. ‘you want me to go faster? you’ll have to earn it,’ he’d whisper in your ears, his voice soft and a smile adorning his face that doesn’t reach his eyes.

He's ruthless, bringing you to the edge, watching you writhe underneath him with a coy smile. Sunday doesn’t do anything except continue, wearing you out. If small tears form, he'll wipe them away and coo at you in a sickly sweet way as he continues. He draws out begs and whines, almost pushing you over the edge until he stops suddenly, a pleasant smile on his face as if he had no clue what he just did. 

He'd make you beg even more, persuading, almost forcing, promises out of you. Making you swear that you'd never interact with those individuals again or that you'd stay by his side forever, whichever suited his mood. And if Sunday wasn’t in the mood to draw out promises? He'd tease you instead, maybe bringing out some toys with the promise of continuing if, and only if, you put it on. So you let him tie you up, placing a gag over your mouth and a blindfold over your eyes. Blind to both what's happening and the manipulation occurring.

And he wouldn’t stop once, he’d do it multiple times over the course of hours. Enjoying the way that you broke down, nearly begging for his touch. He'd find small things to critique you over, like the way that you talked to that one person for just a little bit too long, or the smile you flashed to the person that was obviously flirting with you. Sunday paints those events as things requiring punishment, and what better punishment than delay? After all, you wouldn’t ever want to experience what other punishment he has to offer, no?

The only thing stopping him from continuing this cycle is the exhaustion that he can see building up. Be that the way that your eyes start to close or the subtle shift in your tone, he notices it all. So finally he brings pushes you over the edge.

And at the end of it all, he’s barely tired. You can feel the way that your legs will barely function the next day, a numb jelly like feeling spreading throughout your body. But he doesn't, only watching and finding a certain amount of joy, knowing that you'll have to rely on him the next day. But it’s still nighttime, so he caresses your flushed face, tracing your cheekbones and jawline ever so softly. He takes note of the way your eyes close from exhaustion, wiping away sweat and drawing circles on your skin idly.

He doesn’t often take you this far, but today he didn’t feel like using honeyed words to keep you near. Instead, he now brushes his fingers over your body, a grin forming as you flinch and ultimately move into his touch. Sunday knows that you enjoyed his touches, no matter how little or tiring, still seeming to crave his love. So he uses it against you, under whatever righteous guise he chooses.

But as long as you remain devoted to him, like a worshipper to a god, he will stay patient, follow your whims, and be a 'good' person. As long as you were devoted, he would persuade you in the gentlest way, through soft touches and sweet words. Never mind his demeanor toward others.

So he picks up your tired body, pressing kisses to your forehead as he draws a bath. Letting you rest in warm water, he massages your head, soap bubbles forming. He scrubs your body, maybe a few teasing touches, but nothing more. Sunday understands that you're tired. 

After the bath, he bundles you up in blankets, preparing to clean himself as well. He does it quickly, not wanting to miss out a single moment with you. When he comes back, if you're still awake, he'll cuddle with you, kissing you more. If you try to kiss him back, he'll smile, shaking his head as he motions for you to go to sleep. So eventually you do, warm and comfortable, knowing that the next day will be decided based off of Sunday’s whims.

[ckret2]

Chapter 32 of human Bill is convinced he's the best prisoner ever and does not deserve this abuse from the Pines:

Bill gets his fingernails painted! 💅🌈✨ Look at his fingernails, I drew this week's picture just to show them off. They're fun.

Bill also gets bound to a magic poppet that can control his every move.

It's hilarious for Dipper and Mabel, but not for Bill.

The early morning still was broken by Stan's wails of despair.

At some point during the night, the egg-and-toilet-papering kids had come back to Stan's car.

And they'd brought rocks.

####

Bill woke up with a sheet tossed over him and a cupcake sitting on the window seat. The cupcake was pink with green frosting and decorated like a happy jack-o'-melon. It was sitting on top of a note:

"Sorry I didn't mention I had plans tonight! Robbie's mom made cupcakes for everyone so I grabbed you one. The music video's gonna be AMAZING! I'll show you when Robbie posts it!" Mabel had signed with a shooting star.

Bill decided he hadn't been mad at Mabel last night at all.

He battled gravity to heave himself vertical, trudged downstairs to the bathroom, stuck his face under the faucet until his mouth tasted less like sour sandpaper, agonizingly dragged himself back upstairs to his makeshift bed, and collapsed under the sheet to wait until his head stopped hammering.

####

Sprawled on the living room floor, Mabel said, "What should I draw?"

"Draw me." Bill was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching the news and nursing a glass of Mabel juice. In an effort to counteract the lingering queasiness from overdosing on sugar and chocolate, he'd spiked the juice with two ground-up Elderly 60+ Vitaman™ brand Man Vitamins (khaki flavor) stolen from a bottle that Ford had bought for Stan and that Stan forgot to take.

"Okay!" Mabel turned around and squinted up at Bill. "Strike a pose!"

"Not like this!" Bill shoved a hand in Mabel's face to force her to stop looking. "Draw me how I really look."

"Bill, that's illegal. Remember?" Mabel pointed at the TV. Bodacious T was reporting on a child who'd dressed up for Summerween as "that weird out-of-towner who bothered us last year, you know the one," and who, under the Never Mind All That Act, had been fined fifty pieces of candy. The child's mugshot showed his crying face, but blurred out his yellow costume.

"He'd be the coolest kid in town," Bill said, "if he wasn't such a crybaby in front of the cops. Draw me anyway."

"I don't wanna get arrested!"

"Do you see any cops?" Bill grinned. "Just don't sign your name, nobody will know it was you."

Mabel considered that. "I can sign it someone else's name." She pulled out a few crayons.

"That's what I'm talking about! Do anything you want forever and frame the innocent!"

"What do you want me to draw you doing?"

"The coolest thing you can think of."

Mabel considered that, and got to work.

The news was boring now. They were talking about the weather, and it wasn't even interesting weather. "So hey, you were gonna tell me about filming last night?"

"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "Did I mention the part where the dead rose from their graves?"

Bill muted the TV. "And I missed it?"

Robbie had decided the cemetery at his place would be more atmospheric than the trick-or-treater-filled streets (and less likely to have their shots ruined by passersby that didn't appreciate the depth of Robbie's lyrics). It went great, until the vibrations of angsty rock-and-roll stirred the slumbering corpses and they clawed their way from their graves. It turned out Gravity Falls had been having off-and-on invasions of the undead for the past year, ever since somebody decided to reanimate every corpse in town for fun, Bill.

"You can't prove it was me, I'm not the only one who knows how to raise the dead!" Bill laughed. "Hey—you're not drawing this body, are you? You said you wouldn't."

"I'm not, I promise!"

"Then why do you keep staring at me?"

"Um."

"Let me see!"

"No! Don't ruin the surprise!" Mabel picked up a glitter pen with feathers glued to the end and waved them in Bill's face. "And no cheating with your eye-bleeding psychic magic!"

Bill smacked the pen away. "Fine! So what did you do with the zombies? Feed one of the teens to them?"

"No! I chewed like four packs of gum me and Dipper got from the weird homeless dentist and made a fake baby brain. We used it as bait to lead them into an open grave," Mabel said. "And then we realized we could use the brain to train them to do tricks! So now we have dancing zombies in the music video. They actually learned the choreography pretty easily."

"Makes sense," Bill said. "I did fill the space where their souls should be with an insatiable hunger to party."

Mabel grinned. "I thought you said they weren't your fault."

"If they're good at dancing, I'm taking credit!"

"They were pretty good—especially considering how many limbs they were missing," Mabel said. "I'll show you when Robbie's finished editing the video."

"And I'll get to see you playing a creepy ghost kid, right?"

"Yeah! We were the greatest ghosts ever! Check it out, we were like—" Mabel fixed Bill with a dead-eyed slack-jawed stare and whisper-sang, "'We're the things that you have lost. Childhood joy, dead as a ghost.'"

"Chills."

"Dipper tried so hard to get in character as a ghost that he completely zoned out for a minute! When we shook him out of it, he said he felt like he had an out-of-body experience!"

####

At his computer, Robbie clicked play on a clip of the twins standing side-by-side in front of the cemetery gate. As they sang the chorus, Dipper's face went still; and then a spectral gray form rose out of his head, still singing in sync with Mabel.

"Whoa," Robbie said. "Sick. I'm keeping that in."

####

"So, it turns out my bro is an expert method actor," Mabel boasted.

Bill thought back to Dipper drifting up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. "Yep. Sounds like he's got quite a talent."

Mabel set down her crayons and held out a paper. "Okay—what do you think?"

Bill accepted the drawing. "Am I riding on the back of a rocket ship?"

"Like a bucking bronco! See the rocket flames doing a loop?"

"Sure do. Why am I holding a fish bowl?"

"It's like a cowboy waving his hat, but, you're in space. So that's your astronaut helmet."

"It's beautiful," Bill said intensely. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."

"Aw, really? Thanks!"

"When I take over the universe, I'm rearranging the constellations to look like this."

"Don't do that, though."

"Fine, but I'm hanging it up in my throne room." Bill set down his empty glass so he could hold the picture with both hands, beaming at it as proudly as though he'd made it himself. Big change from his lukewarm reception of her house drawing yesterday. She should draw Bill more often. Being a good artist meant understanding what your audience wanted.

Unfortunately, now that she'd finished her drawing, she didn't have anything to distract her from staring at Bill. And she'd taken about as much of seeing him as she could stand. "Bill. I say this with non-judgmental love. But you look sooo terrible."

"Yeah, I know. I think I'm shaped about as nicely as a human could ask for," he pantomimed drawing a triangle in front of his torso, "but let's be real, there's only so much you can do when you're working with a human bone structure. And there's way too much neck—"

"No! Bill, your body is beautiful just the way it is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I meant your hair looks awful."

Bill had taken a shower yesterday morning, emerged with his hair all wet and tangled, and done absolutely nothing to detangle it. And then, with it still half damp and totally disheveled, he'd shoved it under a cheap acrylic wig for the rest of the night. And then he'd fallen asleep on the floor still wearing the wig.

And now, with the wig removed, his hair looked like a bird had plucked out half a scarecrow's straw brains and made a nest out of it.

"It sure does," Bill said, with the slightly forlorn air of someone complaining about a war in a far-off country over which one had no power.

"So brush it!"

"No. Never. You can't make me."

"Why not? I thought you wanted to keep your hair all triangly!"

"Not enough to touch it. Either it'll figure out how to straighten out on its own or it won't, I'm not messing with it. I've got enough going on in my life today." By which he meant he had the last lingering traces of a hangover, which was a valid excuse to get out of all social, moral, and aesthetic obligations.

Mabel groaned in frustration. "I can't take looking at it anymore! If you won't brush it, can I?"

Bill gave her a skeptical look; but then he flung his hands out dismissively. "Sure, why not? If it bothers you so much. Have at it."

"I'll be right back!"

She got her brush from upstairs and a spray bottle from the kitchen, and directed Bill to sit on the floor so she could get on the couch behind him. After making such a fuss about brushing his hair, Bill was surprisingly well-behaved with somebody else brushing it for him. He didn't even complain when Mabel accidentally yanked on some nasty snarls a little harder than she meant to.

"I feel like a corpse getting prettied up for my funeral," Bill said. "Grooming each other is how humans bond, isn't it? This is one of your little social rituals? If all you wanted was to make sure we're still friends after you ditched me last night, you could have just asked."

Mabel shoved her foot between Bill's shoulder blades. Wise guy. She joked, "Yeah! We're bonding now! After this we're gonna paint each other's fingernails and talk about what kind of boys we like."

"I want rainbow spiral fingernails."

Mabel really should be used to this—but she still kept getting surprised that Bill was interested in the stuff she liked. And not even in a patronizing sure-I'll-play-along way. He'd turned to look at her. There was a gleam in his eyes. He really wanted rainbow spiral fingernails.

And now she wanted rainbow spiral fingernails, too. "Fine! But look forward until I finish your hair." One way or another, Mabel vowed, she would reform Bill into a proper good guy—even if she had to drag him there kicking and screaming. Fun dress-up partners were hard to find, and she couldn't afford to lose Bill.

####

Soos wandered to the living room to find somewhere to hang up his and Melody's "Best Couple Cosplay" award, but stopped in the doorway.

Bill, Mabel, and Waddles were sitting on the floor, watching some kind of cartoon psychedelic fairy princess lecture a spider on the importance of colors, with a bowl of popcorn between them. Bill and Mabel both had bright multicolor fingernails and were eating the popcorn with chopsticks to avoid touching their nails. There was more popcorn on the floor than in the bowl. Waddles had taken no such cares to avoid dragging his freshly painted hooves through the carpet. 

"Truth or dare," Bill said.

"Dare!"

"Dare you to assassinate the..." Bill trailed off. "I can't have the mayor assassinated, he runs Rainbow Club. And the sheriff and deputy invited me... There aren't a lot of public officials in this dumb town, are there?"

"I'm not killing anybody, Bill. Truth."

"Fine, coward. What's your favorite toxic fume fragrance?"

"That's easy! Gasoline!"

"Hey, mine too! At least on this planet. It smells like—you know that smell that heralds the coming of rain? Gasoline is the smell that heralds a really fun time."

"Yeah! Like going on a road trip!"

Bill paused. "Right! I was... I was definitely thinking about road trips. That's exactly what I meant."

Mabel added, "And it looks so cool when there's a little bit spilled in a parking spot—"

"The rainbow puddles! Yes! Big fan of the rainbow puddles—"

"I love parking lot rainbow puddles! It's like surprise happiness in the most boring place on the planet!"

Soos mumbled, "Girl talk," decided to hang his award up later, and left.

####

Dipper heard the bedroom door open and Mabel call, "Hey Dipper!"

"Hey." He didn't look up from his journal, where he was documenting last night's zombie adventures. "Oh, hey, bad news—Wendy said she got a text from Robbie, it sounds like all the footage from the cemetery last night is ruined?"

"Aww! What? But we worked so hard to train those zombies!"

"Yeah, it's just static. But everything we shot outside the gates is fine. I wonder if it's something supernatural that interferes with electronics?"

"Something supernatural? In the cemetery? Full of zombies? What are the odds of that!" Mabel laughed. "But heyyy, I've got some good news!"

"What?"

Mabel stuck a hairbrush full of gold hair between Dipper's face and his journal. "I got a replacement for the Bill hair sample we gave Pacifica!" She grinned and whispered, "Wanna make a poppet?"

####

It would have been really cool if the first full moon of summer vacation had come on Summerween. But the calendar gods were unkind that year, and instead, it came the next day, on June 23.

Which worked out, in the end, since it meant they didn't have any scheduling conflicts on the one night they could make a poppet.

They had the ritual space set up in their bedroom—a chalk star drawn on the floor with a black candle at each point—and the doll representing Bill—which Mabel had upgraded with button eyes and a miniature version of his favorite knit hoodie. They collected all the shed blonde strands off Mabel's hairbrush, wrapped them around the doll's neck, and tied them on. They set the doll in the center of the star; Bartholomew talked them through the ritual; the flames on the candles leaped a foot in the air, turned a pale blue, and then went out; and the binding ritual was complete. The doll was now connected to Bill Cipher.

"Weird," Bartholomew said. "Usually the flames turn black. I've never seen them turn blue before."

Dipper said, "That's not a problem, is it?"

"No, no. I've just never used the binding ritual on an alien before! I guess it works a little different!"

Dipper picked up the doll and eyed it skeptically. "Mabel, I know we said we're saving this for emergencies only, but—maybe we should test it out just to make sure it actually works?"

"I guess we should," Mabel said, grimacing. "Just—don't do anything that'd hurt him. Okay?"

Yeah, Dipper should've expected that. Whether he liked it or not, Mabel didn't just see Bill as her weird experiment in criminal rehabilitation—she saw him as her friend. He sighed. "Okay. But is it fine if we do something that would embarrass him?"

Mabel shrugged. "I don't see why not!"

####

As they crept from their room, Mabel whispered, "What if we stick him in a box and shake it up? And then tell him there was an earthquake!"

"I thought you were the one who didn't want to hurt him."

"Oh right."

Bill wasn't on his cushions under the window, so they crept downstairs. Halfway down, Dipper stopped, putting a hand on Mabel's arm. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, staring out the window.

"This is perfect," he whispered. "He's completely vulnerable. He's got his back to us, he's looking at the moonlight—even if he turns around, he won't see us because his eyes will have to readjust to the dark."

"I don't know if his eyes need to adjust," Mabel said. "Have you ever noticed he never turns the lights on when he goes into a room?"

Dipper considered that. He hadn't noticed—but now that Mabel mentioned it, Bill did have a tendency to lurk in the dark. "Well—okay, but he's still not looking at us. Let's see how this works..." He studied the doll; then turned it around and gently brushed a finger through its yarn hair.

For a moment, nothing happened; and then Bill swatted at the back of his head and looked around, as if he was trying to find what had touched him.

"I think it's working," Dipper hissed.

"Are you sure? What if there's actually a fly in the kitchen?"

Could be. "Let me see if it can control him."

"Careful—"

Dipper grabbed one of the doll's arms and tentatively lifted it.

Bill's arm shot up. He stared at it in bafflement. "Wh...?"

Mabel bit her lip. Dipper waved the doll's arm.

Bill's arm waved. After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Hello?" As if he thought maybe his arm was waving at someone and he should play along with it.

Mabel and Dipper clapped their hands over their mouths, fighting to keep their giggles quiet. Mabel elbowed Dipper, "Hey Dipper Dipper Dipper, get him to stand up, let me control his legs, I have the best idea—"

Bill knocked over his chair and had to flail his arms for balance as he abruptly jerked to his feet. He looked around, eyes wide and wild, an edge of panic to his voice as he hollered, "WHAT'S GOING ON!"

Dipper held the doll out to Mabel. "Okay hurry!" Mabel took it by the legs—

—and Bill started doing the cancan. He shrieked. "WHAT?!"

Dipper shoved his shirt over his mouth to muffle his hysterics. Mabel was letting little wheezy squeaks out through her nose. Bill's voice was almost an octave higher as he screamed, "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S BEHIND THIS, I'M GONNA SHRED YOU—" and they both got so close to bursting laughing out loud that they had to pause to punch each other's shoulders for self control.

Still holding one of the doll's legs up, Mabel hissed, "Dipper do you remember the bottle dance. Where they crouch down with bottles on their heads. Can we—can we get a tiny bottle for the doll—"

Bill was failing both arms to avoid falling with one foot held in the air. He grabbed the counter for balance. And then, with a grunt of effort, he wrenched his foot down and stomped it to the ground.

The doll's leg yanked out of Mabel's hand.

Dipper and Mabel fell silent, staring at the doll. They looked at each other. Mabel whispered, "It shouldn't be able to do that, right?"

They looked at Bill.

Bill's face was burning red, and he was so far past fury that his expression was perfectly blank. His eyes were huge, and round, and pointed straight at them.

They bolted up the stairs.

Bill charged after them.

They screamed in terror. They weren't loud enough to drown out Bill: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU BRATS—"

Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm. "Dipper, do something!"

"Uhh—!" He tossed the doll in the air and caught it.

They heard an alarmed yelp as Bill was launched in the air and then a crash as he landed on the stairs again.

They scrambled into their room and slammed the door. "Safe!" Mabel said.

"Yeah," Dipper said, panting for breath. "Can't get us here."

The doll's head twisted 180 degrees to stare up at them.

They yelped. Dipper tossed the doll to Mabel. Mabel held it out at arm's length, threw it in her nightstand's drawer, and slammed it. It tried to open again and she leaned against it with her full body weight. "Dipper, the duct tape! In my craft supplies!"

"Which craft supplies?!"

The tiny knocking inside the drawer was echoed by the pounding at the door, accompanied by a string of creative death threats: "—and when I'm finished the coroner won't know which corpse was which! I'll make a belt out of your spinal columns—!"

"We didn't do anything," Mabel shouted, "it wasn't our fault!" She took the duct tape from Dipper and frantically wrapped it around the night stand. Dipper added, "It was someone else! And we'll never do it again—"

Sleepy and muffled, Soos's voice drifted through the door, "Dudes? What's all the hubbub?"

Dipper and Mabel gasped, "Soos!" "Save us!"

His voice the perfect tone of righteous indignation, Bill declared, "I'm being assaulted, that's what!"

Stan's voice joined in from downstairs: "BILL! If you don't leave those kids alone I'll cave your nose in!"

"THEY'RE THE AGGRESSORS," Bill screamed, half hysterical. "They are! I'm the victim here! I'm being victimized!"

Stan shouted, "Kids, good work! Bill, you can go to—" He grumbled as he self-censored, "—sleep! Shut up and go to sleep!"

"You can go jump in the bottomless pit, Stanley Pines! I'll tear you all apart with my teeth if I have to! NOBODY in this stupid junk heap of a shack is getting any sleep until I get my—"

From just outside the attic door, Stan roared, "BILL!"

There was a dull thud as Bill leaned against their door; a lot less shouty, he quickly said, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed."

"That's what I thought," Stan snapped. The kids heard his footsteps retreating downstairs. Soos said, "Um... night," and his door shut. After a moment, there was the creak of footsteps retreating from the attic door.

Dipper and Mabel slowly, softly snuck across the room to the door, and pressed their ears to the crack. No sound.

They stayed there for several minutes, barely breathing, listening to the silence.

Finally, Mabel pulled away and looked at Dipper. They both nodded, and Dipper opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear.

Bill's eye stared in. "Hey, kids!"

They yelled. Dipper tried to slam the door; but Bill had already shoved his hand through. Fingernails painted with neon colors and black spirals clawed at the doorframe. He shouldered through the gap in the door, and then he was in the room, smiling much too wide and eyes fixed on them like helicopter spotlights on two wanted criminals. There was blood on his teeth. "Wow! Playing with poppets?"

Dipper upturned his suitcase and held it up like a shield. Mabel pointed a can of spray paint at Bill's face. Bill took a step closer and they took a step back.

"Pretty advanced trick for a couple of children your age," Bill said conversationally. "Not bad, not bad at all. Heck, I'm impressed you pulled it off! Although you didn't make a very smart choice of test subject." He stomped a foot twice.

Something in the nightstand thudded twice. The twins jumped. Bill laughed at them.

Mentally cursing himself for having flinched, Dipper straightened his back and glared at Bill. "You're just mad you got jerked around like a puppet! What's the matter, Bill—you can dish it but you can't take it?" Mabel looked at Dipper like he was crazy.

Bill's indulgent smile cracked, dropping into a snarl of rage. He shifted his weight toward them. Mabel dropped into a judo stance and Dipper sucked in a breath to shout for Stan.

Before anyone could launch a full attack, Mabel took a shaky breath in, forced a nervous smile, and said, "Bill, hey..." (His eyes snapped to her face like a predator that just heard a twig snap.) "This was—just a funny prank, and we're all cool? Right?"

"Mabel," Dipper muttered. "Shhh!"

But Mabel kept looking at Bill. "Right? Buddies?" She held up her arm, showing Bill her friendship bracelet.

Bill stopped and rocked back on his heels. He gave Mabel a long, hard look—like he was seriously considering whether to accept the reality she was inventing. "Yeah. Real funny." Smiling through grit teeth, he said, "You know—it's been a while since I've had my energy strung between two vessels. I didn't even know what that experience felt like for a human! Very interesting. Educational. And it was nice to feel weightless again for a second. Even if the landing was a little rough." He licked the blood off his teeth. One of the teeth shifted. "So—thanks so much for spicing up a boring night. It's been a real blast. Hasn't it." He stared at them like he expected an answer—and possibly like he planned to strangle whoever answered first.

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. Dipper shook his head slightly. Mabel looked Bill in the eyes again. "Yeah! Big blast. So, you're not... mad. Right? Nobody's mad!"

Bill stared her down for a moment longer; and then said, "Sure, kid! It's all fun and games!" He forced a laugh—and then another, longer one, hahhh, like he was exhaling all his rage. And just like that, he was back to normal. "I'll admit it—for a second there, you almost got me good! Not bad at all." He held out his hand insistently. "And now the game's over, so you're gonna give me that toy so I can neutralize it. Aren't you?"

Dipper bit his lip, looking past Bill toward the stairs. He could yell for Stan; there was no way Bill could kill them before reinforcements got here—

Mabel elbowed Dipper's side and whispered, "We can't keep it."

And she was right. Now that Bill knew about the doll, he'd be spending all his time plotting how to get past them to take it, and they wouldn't have a second's peace. Either he got it now, or he got it later. Bill wouldn't rest until the doll was out of their hands.

Because he was terrified of it. Why wouldn't he be?

"Yeah," Dipper sighed. "Game over."

"I'll get it." Mabel peeled just enough duct tape off the night stand to wiggle it open a crack and try to squeeze her fingers in. Bill stretched his hand toward Mabel, and the doll stretched an arm out of the drawer. Mabel flinched in surprise, but grabbed the arm and yanked the doll free.

"Ow." Bill grabbed his shoulder and rolled it gingerly. "Careful, kid, are you trying to dislocate my arm? I don't mind popping it back in, but eventually that socket's gonna wear out."

"Sorry! It was a tight squeeze." She held the doll over Dipper's suitcase shield. "Here."

Bill snatched it from her hand. "Thanks a million, star girl." He favored them both with his most nearly-charming, far-too-wide smile. "Good night, kiddos. Have sweet dreams."

"You too," Mabel said weakly.

Bill left. Dipper shut the door. He and Mabel both heaved a sigh of relief.

From the loft over the attic, Bartholomew called, "Is he gone?"

"What are you doing up there?" Mabel asked. "Barty-mew-mew the scaredy-cat."

"I'm not fighting that guy, I'm porcelain and he's crazy."

Dipper flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Welp. I'm gonna have nightmares about Bill chasing me up the stairs."

Mabel sat on her own bed. "He just wanted to terrify us. And to keep us from seeing we'd terrified him." She fingered the star beads on her friendship bracelet. "He wouldn't have hurt us, I'm sure of it."

"Wh—seriously? You don't think Bill—"

"I know! But he's changed a tiny bit! He'd hurt anyone else, but he won't hurt us," Mabel said. "Or—well, me, at least. But I think he'll leave you alone too if I'm with you!"

Dipper pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "If he'd caught us on the stairs, do you really think he wouldn't have tried to tear us apart?"

Mabel considered that; and then reluctantly admitted, "He wouldn't hurt me as long as he remembers he doesn't want to hurt me." 

"Yeah, well. I wouldn't count on him remembering when he's mad." Dipper slid under his covers and rolled over. "Barty, can you get the lights?"

"Sure, one second." All the lights and lamps in the room flickered ominously; and then, with a sinister pop, snapped off without being touched.

"Thanks, man."

Mabel didn't climb into bed. She was staring at her fingernails. She'd painted them the same colors as Bill's; but she'd used a black marker to draw spirals on his, and he'd drawn stars and sloppy tiger stripes on hers.  In the dark, the colors were all faded.

This time, just once, maybe she and Dipper were the bad guys. He might disagree—he'd actually been puppeted, maybe he saw this differently from Mabel—but that probably didn't make it okay to do it back to Bill just for fun. They should've saved the poppet for an emergency. And the cancan, she decided, was definitely too much.

She smoothed out her covers; then she pulled up her knees to her chest, hugged them, and stared thoughtfully down at Bill's face in the middle of her zodiac blanket.

####

In the dark and quiet of the downstairs bathroom, Bill sat cross-legged on the toilet lid. He held the doll in his cupped hands. Soon, he'd disassemble it—but not yet. Tonight, it was his tool. He shut his eyes and focused on it.

There was the thinnest thread of energy, channeled through his shed hair, connecting this doll to him. He studied the thread, feeling it in his mind, exploring it, strengthening it—until he could almost feel it tugging on him.

And then he started psychically groping for similar connections.

He set the doll on the floor, on top of the drawing Mabel had given him.

His other eyes—the billions of depictions of his face scattered across this planet—weren't meant to be used in this dimension. They were designed like windows he could peer through from the Nightmare Realm; here on Earth, he was on the wrong side of the windows to see through them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the Axolotl had somehow found a way to blindfold them on top of that—after all, he seemed to have done the same to most of Bill's other abilities.

But Bill was resourceful, he was stubborn, and he didn't have anything better to do.

He focused all his energy on trying to feel the drawing the same way he felt the doll, searching for a connection between this body and that face—and he searched, and searched, and searched.

He wasn't sure how long he tried. At least a couple of hours. Straining, straining—for nothing. His head hurt.

What was the difference? The doll was shaped like him, the drawing was shaped like him. What did the doll have that the drawing didn't?

The hair. A bit of his flesh.

Bill knelt over the picture, studying it in the dark. He opened an eye wide, wiped a fingertip across the surface of his eyeball to collect his tears, and pressed it to the drawing's eye.

He could feel a thread of energy stringing from his eye to the paper.

He climbed back on the toilet lid, shut his eyes, and focused on that thread. With an effort that threatened to split his head in two, he pried open his inner eye. And then he was staring up at his own human form from the drawing on the floor.

His body was shaking. His head was throbbing. He wobbled dizzily on the toilet; and as he saw himself topple off, his trance broke, the vision disappeared, and he blacked out. White spots burst behind his eyes.

When he next opened an eye, the room was spinning. He shut his eye. It was several minutes before he could sit up without being sick. He leaned against the wall and let the sweat on his forehead and cheek soak the old wallpaper.

The white spots he'd seen as he passed out were his distant all-seeing eyes. 

He'd done something tonight. That was good. But there was no way he was seeing through any other pictures like that. He needed something he could focus his power through, like an antenna.

He needed gold.

####

(Last chapter of the year!! If you enjoyed, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts & comments! Thanks!)

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Kissed by Moonlight (Alucard x Witch! Reader) 7

A/N: I feel like an ass for posting this one, surely I am cockblocking, but this slow-burning is here for a reason! Enjoy regardless! Mentions of anatomy and some language, Y/N gets drunk and nearly blurts all.

Summary: To be loved is to be changed.

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Chapter 7

In the day, Adrian was as glorious as the sun. At night, as beautiful and haunting as the moon and its glow.

In the month you had been in the castle, you had turned the once secluded castle into a living, existing place, for you and Adrian to simply ignore the rest of the world in. It had grown not to resemble a tattered and destroyed ruin, but instead, a place Adrian could call home once again.

Adrian himself had flourished in his skin once more: where you found him to take up hobbies when you were not with him. Before was once a man, lonely beyond an age before the age of twenty, losing his parents and closest allies, now, a man you could look upon with admiration and pride. He had grown out from his enclosed shell, opening his heart to a stranger, trusting you with his life unlike those who betrayed him.

It hurt more to know that this was your final day.

You feared for Adrian’s wellbeing, whether he would grow reclused after you left him, or would he rather thrive with your farewell?

You had grown recluse yourself from the Dhampir, finding closure in the fact that you would never look upon the face of Adrian ever again. Where could you go apart from as far out from Wallachia? Nowhere was safe for a girl like me. You told yourself when you wished you could explain to Adrian—though the words would always freeze on your tongue any time you tried bringing it up.

It seemed that Adrian had almost forgotten about the promise too, and you couldn’t help but feel guilt when he spoke of promises he wanted to do for you.

“I’ll show you one day the town nearby,” he said one night, curled up by the fire as he stared into its flames. “I know you’d like it. We could buy anything you’d like: spices, dresses, jewellery.”

He spoke of a future not just with him alone, but with you co-existing beside him, and it thrilled and destroyed you to know that this promise would crumple like sand.

The day came for you to leave, silently waking with dried tears still stinging your red eyes. You had spent all that night crying before you fell to sleep, dreaming of being with Adrian, laughter shared and memories to be made. You had even kissed him, your heart fluttering as he muttered words softly in your words that gave away he did not want you to go.

'Always and forever.' His words were soft and dying in the air when you faced the morning, and your lips could still feel his against yours, a dying dream never to be lived.

You tip-toed around to not wake Adrian, gathering anything you could and folding neatly the dresses you had been given to him. They were too lovely to be ruined and deserved to be in a place that could keep its beauty.

The only things you carried on you were the same dress you came to the castle in, rags that had been sitting in the corner of the room, waiting for the day you would have to wear them. The air grew heavy with a feeling of forlorn as you walked to find the kitchen, setting yourself by the counter and waiting for the person you dreaded to upset.

It was not long until you heard familiar footsteps drawing closer, familiar honey-blond locks coming into view as the man appeared. It snapped your heart in two to see the softness in his golden eyes as if you were better than the sun itself and you were his star. That all fell apart when his smile dropped, the uncertainty washing over his face when he saw the glumness on your face.

“Has something happened?” He did not waste two seconds stepping closer towards you, giving a small gap between the two but enough that you could be up close to him. In the four weeks, it had taken some time for Adrian to grow used to touch once again, always coiling away from your closeness, before he had taken the time to build trust and reciprocate first. "Y/N?"

He was quick to reach out to you first, extending for your arm as he pulled it towards him. He was warm to the touch, and you dared not want to look upon his concerned gaze without knowing you would blubber into a mess once again.

“You remember the promise, correct?” You lamented, watching for a moment as he took in your words carefully. It was as if everything poured through just from the question, and you could just about read every emotion visible in his eyes; melancholy, regret, grief.

“Where will you go?” His voice was quiet. Don’t go, it read in his eyes.

It didn’t dawn on you, no matter how many times you came to think of it. “Some place where it is warmer, perhaps east. But that means…” your voice cracked momentarily, “Wallachia will not be a home for me.”

“But how do you know?” His calmness cracked, and beneath you could see the grief-stricken man appear, though you did not think he would be holding concern for you of all people.

You didn’t want to answer his question, despite the unknowing questions that boiled, the silence was deafening, and it hammered in your chest like the chiming of a hammer.

“I will have to leave whilst there is still light,” you squeezed Adrian’s hand before it slipped from his, “Thank you for allowing me to use your library, and… to call you a dear friend.”

You didn’t know if that pained you more to call him a friend when your feelings had bloomed for him during your time there. A friend was the only thing you could call him: why would he want anything else with you? He’s immortal, he will have lovers come and go, but none will ever be you.

“Don’t,” he called to you when he stepped out of his reach, not expecting him to call you. Your name was a whisper on his tongue, hanging in the air as if he wished to say something more to you, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“I would be overstaying here, Adrian.” You could feel tears slip from your face, but you braved not to look at him, even when you knew he was staring at you. “You said a month-”

“Please,” there it was. Pain in his voice in the way he pleaded, desperate and gentle that you didn’t think you’d see this side of him, “I don’t think… living within these walls would ever feel the same with you gone.”

He stepped out to you again.

Closer.

His hand gingerly found your chin, raising your head to meet his gaze, delicately wiping the tear collecting at the corner of your right eye. You were both silent, only staring at one another, and never did you think anyone would stare at you the way he did with you.

“You wish for me to stay?” Forever?

Your mother had told you what that feeling would be like, though she had been young and never knew the experience herself. Did Alucard’s parents experience the same when they first met?

That feeling grew within your chest, butterflies you couldn’t stop from feeling: the great emotion that one day would bless you in having. Why was it that the moment you had to leave was when it came?

‘People come and go,’ your mother told you one day when you asked about it, naïve and full of hope. ‘It hurts when it grows for those you care for.’

Yes, you understand now why it came at this moment and all the times before.

It hurt.

Love hurt when it was about to leave for the first and final time.

It was his smile, so gentle and warm, so inviting and bright – full like the sun and the beginning of spring – that you could not decline his offer.

“I would very much like that.”

-

Telling yourself you had gotten used to the castle was an understatement.

The rooms you were more familiar with were the ones you kept to, never straying that much to explore. You knew that there were many rooms even Adrian never went into, telling you that they held too many memories, either good or bad.

You were understanding, knowing how much the castle – his childhood home – could hold a lot of disturbance to what he went through. He told you one day that his childhood bedroom was off limits: it was after all, where he had killed his father. He mentioned it was a place too “dampened with gloom” that you knew something else had happened for him to keep that part of the castle off-limits.

It had only gotten the best of you when you told Adrian you were going to do some cleaning, leaving him as he cooked in the kitchen.

You sprinted with much glee and inquisitiveness: the endless hallways could lead you anywhere!

Roaming the halls, you remembered to stay away from the rooms you were not allowed to go to, including his old and current bedroom. It was quite easy to get lost, taking to the upper floors, where the light grew dimmer, more eerie.

The rooms as you found them didn’t hold much for you to be intrigued until you passed what was another room in another endless hallway, you spotted that this room had its door ajar.

This was certainly a room you had not been told of by Adrian.

Bravely, the room seemed to be more of an intrigue to you than any other room. Slowly peeling the door back, you stepped through.

The room is dimly lit, with a sense of sweet orange that lingers in the air. It’s his scent, sweet, alluring, inviting; just like what surrounds you. There are books of all assortments: astronomy, philosophy, ecology, history – to name a few. Knowledge spanning from decades to thousands of years back, of all cultures and dynasties long gone and remaining. Maps hung around the room, some of the entirety of Europe, the world and one finally above his desk of Wallachia.

It took longer to find literature, where you find poetry, prose, children’s stories and old fables. You’re shocked when you stumble across some romance novels, not expecting that to come from Adrian.

His desk is a display of many things: papers, books, and journals. You dare not look in his journals knowing his work is private, but something catches your gaze. Since when was Adrian into drawing?

You find one first that makes you pick it up, a sketch of his mother, only a fine-line sketch that is only shaded and not with much detail, but you recognise her from the portraits that decorate the castle.

Will you be needing a muse anytime soon? You think to yourself, jokingly. You knew it was rude to snoop, and knowing you had come across Adrian’s study, you knew you had the best chance to look around when he wasn’t there.

But when you find his sketchbook, all nosiness takes over.

The leather-bound book is beautifully decorated, with its pages filled to the brim from use. The beginning of the pages were those you recognised simply by objects that Adrian used for inspiration: a stag beetle shell, many plotted plants and flowers some you recognised from your mother’s herbs. You read the dates that dated back to almost a decade ago, impressed by his skill at such a young age.

The more you draw the pages further into the book, the older the dates get, and his practice grows. His inspirations change from objects to anatomy. You’re impressed by the way Adrian draws the human body so well. Some sketches of hands in different positions and poses, full body sketches of a mixture of men and women, some clothed and others nude.

You could feel your cheeks darken, and though it was surprising to see the natural state of the human body, art was still captivating in showing it, Adrian drew with a way of conveying vulnerability. His mother was a doctor after all.

Other pages were of human faces: more drawings of his mother and father. Another was of a different man and woman: the woman had short hair whilst the man had a scar over his right eye and a shadow of a wispy beard on his face. You now had a reference to Adrian’s friends and allies: Sypha and Trevor.

A Belmont, scholar and sleeping soldier, Adrian told you, all out for different clauses and paths but joined to meet on one path; to kill Dracula.

You had forgotten to make sure you were still alone and not spotted looking through his things when you reached the last few of the pages, recently used. Wait a minute. You had to do a double take, imagining you were seeing double. This isn’t… who I think it is.

Those eyes, were similar to you, not that you could remember where you had seen them last. It dawned on you quickly why they were a distant memory: they looked like your mother's eyes—but that was impossible if Adrian had never met or seen an image of her.

But, as if looking back through a mirror, a glimpse through time, those eyes weren’t just hers, but yours as well.

Oh. Your heart hammered in your chest, and you dared not drop the book to draw attention to where you were. You didn’t close it, despite feeling that this was intruding—it was too late for that now.

He had gotten your likeness in a way you didn’t think he could: as if you had been captured in a moment, ready to come back to life on the page. Another sketch of you, reclined with your nose in a book and laying in a way that could’ve been uncomfortable to anyone else. Another of you tying your hair back, the ribbon dangling in your mouth, eyes in heavy concentration. The final one took you by surprise: a moment where you were snuggled into the armchair, a blanket wrapped protectively around you to keep you warm.

Have I been so blinded this entire time? It seemed like this wasn’t right: did Alucard… fancy you? You scoffed, absolutely not, there was no way—though you the more you spiralled, the more it had you questioning everything.

You had been so preoccupied with what you had discovered, that you failed to suspect the presence behind you, someone standing just on the edge of the doorframe.

An awkward cough brought you back to your senses.

“Forgive me!” You stumbled, throwing the papers behind you to hide them behind your back, in hopes you were quick on your feet. You were clumsy, ineptly whipping back to look at the blond Dhampir standing just a few metres in the doorframe. “I did not hear you come in.”

Adrian was dressed simply in his shirt, trousers and boots as he did if the weather was not too cold. It was only a small subtle detail that his dark trousers were coated and dusted with a light cast of flour, as if he had nothing else to wipe but on them. His hair was also tied up, revealing his slender neck, wisps of blond tresses falling to frame his handsome angular features.

How long had he been waiting there for? You panicked, knowing that he could’ve used his speed to reach you, using his inhuman scent of smell or to pick up your heart rate to find you.

“Yes, well, you did seem rather… occupied.” Adrian teased, though his face was incomprehensible, his movements leisurely as he ambled into the room, inspecting if anything looked out of place.

Was he just as embarrassed as how you were feeling? Regardless if he was or not, he was very good at hiding it from you.

He stopped just to the side of his desk, eyes quickly scanning as he spotted the disarray of papers, his sketchbook ‘neatly’ placed back where it looked to have been before. He did not say anything about it, instead, resuming conversation as if nothing was out of place.

“I was asking if you were free to help me downstairs. I needed assistance in deciding which spices to add to the cakes.” He continued, watching the way you shuffled to block what you were putting back on the desk.

You were not subtle in the slightest but Adrian did not make any remark for you to be snooping, rather, he watched on in visible amusement. The refined look when he raised an eyebrow, the small smirk that made you even more flustered when you were caught.

“Okay, ready.” You gestured for him to walk in front, hanging back as you took a final glance back, wondering when Adrian started drawing you.

-

 It’s his idea when he decides the two of you should share a bottle of wine.

Though you think it’s not good to have the entire bottle, Adrian agrees upon a glass or two, sharing thoughts as the night grows dark with the creatures of the forest outside, and your worries melt for a moment on your tongue.

The wine is sweet, not though you like it, and it's hard to consume something that feels so foreign. Adrian drinks it as if it's water, and you struggle to keep up. You’re a lightweight after all, and though you’re slower, you can feel the haziness that crawls in your vision, and you swear you’re almost seeing double.

Your laughter is warmer, chatter easier, and you notice he’s closer beside you by the table when he first brings the bottle and glasses.

“This is nice,” his voice does not slur as he speaks, and you’re shocked just by how content he is in drinking glass after glass if he could. If perhaps you didn’t say anything, perhaps he would, “It’s been some time since I stopped drinking.”

“When did you stop?” You can feel a headache begin to dull your senses, and you’re feeling bolder.

Adrian seems hesitant when he looks back at you before he answers. “I stopped after a couple of days after your arrival.” He’s nervously swirling the glass in small circles on the table, a distraction. “I’m sure the smell of piss and blood wasn’t helping.”

You chortle, “No, it didn’t, but I don’t suppose I was any different. A girl smelling of chickens.”

“I did wonder why.” He says in a dry tone, but his eyes are sincere, and you find yourself staring periodically down at his lips, the glint of his sharp teeth some distraction from the wine.

“It seems funny when I say it now, but I used to have two, and they had names.”

Adrian seems surprised by this, that of all things to have named were chickens, but he coaxes you with a raised brow, intrigued, to say the least. “Tell me they had normal names.”

“Henrietta and Duchess.”

“Oh, my God,” Adrian laughs quietly, “Next you’ll say you had a pig called Duke and a horse called Lieutenant.”

“Well, the pig was called Truffle.”

“Seems almost cruel,” Adrian laughs at the idea, “I don’t think I was any different. I did have a stuffed wolf called Fluffy.”

“Hey, that’s cute though.”

You laugh at the idea, but you’re carrying a sad smile as you continue to sip slowly at your drink. “I loved those chickens. It was weird, but I treated them like humans rather than animals—livestock. They were much nicer than-” You stop yourself mid-sentence, unsure if you’re ready to continue.

Your stomach coils as if ready to lurch, for you to leap from your chair and leave to your room, but Adrian is calm and patient, running a soothing hand over yours to console you.

“Take your time,” he says with quiet empathy, and it’s enough to pull you back to reality. “I’m here.”

“After my mama’s death, I fled to the nearby town—I was on the streets for some time, hiding behind buildings and sometimes getting shelter from a sweet old lady, before I was old enough to sell myself as a servant to any passing man who needed my service.”

You felt sick to your stomach, and the wine was not helping. “I stayed in his service for almost a decade, serving his son and wife who was no older than me.” You confessed. “It all boiled down one day when I was fed up with the fucking treatment. I was beaten if I did something incorrect, slapped if I spoke when not spoken to, and something… snapped in me. I… hurt him when he hurt me.” You pushed the wine away from you, eyes welling with tears. “I wish I did more.”

“You survived,” Adrian said with a sad grimace, “You’re much braver than most I know.”

“I didn’t feel brave then,” you admitted. “I felt like a stupid little girl, not capable of anything.”

“Hey,” Adrian seems clumsy in giving close comfort, but he tried nonetheless, leaning closer to finally embrace you. He smelt of oranges and lavender, and you nearly broke down into his shoulder, “you’re the strongest person I know. The bravest witch.”

He seemed tongue-tied with his next words, eyes moving across your face as if he wished to say something that you yearned to hear. “I’m proud of you.” He finally said, but in your mind, it didn’t seem like it was what he wanted to say as if there was something he was holding back.

Was I overthinking? You thought as you pulled away from his embrace, so tempted to lean across the table and kiss him there and then, but you pulled enough restraint to not horrify the man. “Thank you, Adrian. I’m thankful I have you.” You finally said.

“I’m thankful too.” He confesses, quickly realising what he’s just said and the blush on his face is obvious as he tries to change the subject. “I will leave you to catch some sleep. I thought it would be a good idea to head into town tomorrow morning. Gather some more supplies. What do you say?”

You smile sadly, “That’s a good idea.” You’re on your feet fast enough as you say goodnight to one another before you’re speeding down the hallway to your room, wiping the tears that have not dried from your face.

When you reach your room, you slink against the inside of the door. Your head is hammering, vision is hazy. Damn for drinking so much. You groan, only listening to the crackling of the fire lit in your room, the soft luring sound of crisp pages of a book being shut as a lovely interference.

“Ah, there you are.” the voice that pulled you from your thoughts was the one thing you needed to hear, sweet as honey as the figure emerged to stand close by from where you stood. His soft locks are pulled back from his face, and he’s practically glowing in the soft ambers of your room, the fire gently burning to keep the warmth.

Your lips are pulled into a tired smile, which the Dhampir notices quickly enough to soothe you for a night of sleep. “You’re exhausted, my little witch.” He’s yanking you by your hand, directing you to your bed. “You need sleep before it comes for you first.”

“Was it so obvious?” You laugh dryly, and the lack of sleep is fast indeed; your eyes are heavy, limbs sluggish as your mind slows from the alcohol. “I can get myself to bed by myself, you know?”

“I don’t doubt you,” he scolds lightly, the way he moves you is more persistent. “Dreams help everything go away, isn’t that what your mother said?”

“Yes.” You drawl quietly, silent in watching Adrian move around you, sitting you delicately on the edge of the side of the bed. He is gentle in getting you settled for the night, removing your outer layers of clothing until you’re left in your chemise. There is nothing overtly sexual in the way he undresses you, more so there’s such a tenderness to his touches that it almost leaves you weeping.

When you’re ready, he follows, undressing until he stands in his nightgown. You watch as he goes to as he crawls onto the other side to lay there. Shutting his eyes, his light blond hair cascades around the pillow like a halo, his body silent and still as stone.

You’re staring for some time before he speaks up, aware even without having to open your eyes. “Are you going to watch me sleep or are you going to join me?” He cracks one eye open, full of mirth as he catches the exact moment your face brightens.

“Right.” You scootch over closer, lying stiffly beside him on your back, not daring to get any cosier before he stretches like a cat, catching you by surprise as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in close.

“You’re shaking like a leaf, little witch.” He jokes, humming as he rests his head into the crook of your neck. This is all so real, and you dare fear if you fall asleep, it’ll all be gone, a fading memory to die in the back of your mind. “Am I that cold?”

“No,” you finally relax in his hold, having turned to face him, a feeling you wish not to ever forget. “It feels nice.”

“I’m sure one thing could make you feel better,” his eyes are open, watching you almost hawkishly, scooting himself closer. “Though, I’d have to know what you think.”

“What is it?”

He doesn’t answer you directly, but his eyes tell you what you’ve been waiting for. It’s the way his gold eyes glance from your eyes down to your lips, way too slowly before coming back up to meet your flustered state.

Neither of you make the first move, your heart is hammering too fast that you can barely keep up with your racing thoughts. You know he can hear how fast it's pumping, thunderous and dreadful against your ribs. It feels like it could explode any second.

Should I wait for him to lean in? Or would it be better for me to meet him halfway? To see how he reacts.

With your mind racing, your body moves on its own, ignoring your many questions and moving with little patience. A hand finds his cheek, stroking his cheekbone in contemplation, soft to the touch that you gasp from just the exhilaration alone.

You’re not waiting for him when you’re leaning close to him, closer and closer until his face is inches from yours. Your noses bump as you catch the final moment where his eyes flutter shut as you’re copying, stretching over until your lips meet his.

You didn’t know how long you had been counting for this moment to happen. Drinking him in, he is the sun, and you are a secluded plant, waiting for his rays to keep you from shrivelling. His lips are soft, neither warm nor cool as your contact is chaste and quick, and all that is gone when you’re not chasing for more-

“No,” you rasp as you pull yourself from him, leaping up to sit on the edge of the bed. “This is wrong.”

“Oh?” He doesn’t seem dissatisfied or enraged, rather it seems more like a question. He is calm when he asks, voice a soft rumble. “Is it wrong because you wish to continue? Or because you wish to experience this with him?”

You slump in your spot, guilt overflowing your body like a wave, ready to drown. “It’s wrong because… I’m using him.” You hug yourself, ready to weep aloud from it all. “I’m using him for this twisted fantasy, just to feel happy.”

This fake version of Adrian is collected, reaching your side of the bed as he places a consoling hand on your shoulder. “Happy… that you want to imagine a future with him?”

“Yes. Is that so wrong to have?” You sigh exasperated. “I want him to be happy, but I fear… I will never give him that happiness.”

“He’s been through so much already.” You continue. “I think of him all the time: like how the sun can’t live without the moon.”

You’re completely consumed by Adrian: mind, body and soul and it aches that this crush will continue to remain as one. His acts of kindness have completely floored you, confusing you to the point that you were left over questioning every small act he did for you.

The night is long and you’re left distraught, conjuring a version of him that you hope can give you comfort. “What do I do?”

“Tell  him the truth.”

Your head snaps almost drastically to glare at the fake version, who simply looks just as perplexed as you. “I’m just a manifested form you created of him in your head whilst inebriated. I’m the wrong person you should be talking to.”

Sighing defeatedly, you look to him for security. “I’m… confused.”

“How so?”

“Well, I know he sees me as a friend, but he’s just so thoughtful. He carries me back to bed, and we spend all day together. I mean, he drew sketches of me for fuck’s sake—that’s saying something, isn’t it?”

“He seems lonely too.” ‘Adrian’ answers, but it’s a reasonable answer that could be what you’re looking for, regardless of how you’re feeling.

“I know, I know. He’s awkward, but it can’t just be out of friendship.”

“Tell him in the morning,” he says, “you can’t see for yourself if he’s quick to reciprocate your feelings for him. Perhaps then you’ll be able to cuddle something that’s flesh and bone.”

You chortle at his words, knowing how uncanny and realistic he is sitting beside you. “Can we just- can we just cuddle for the rest of the night? Just so I don’t feel so lonely.”

Alucard gives you a sorrowful smile, pulling you into a side embrace. “You realise I won’t be there by morning?”

It’s a sad realisation, but you come to accept it. “I know. I just… want to imagine feeling something for once.”

“Of course, my little witch,” he kisses your forehead lovingly, leading you both back down to lie on the bed. The bed doesn’t feel as big when you share it with another, now in the fond embrace of the Dhampir you conjured in your mind.

“Sleep well, Y/N.” He tells you all the right things you want to hear, the lull of sleep pulls you in deeper and deeper, his voice growing quieter. “I’m still here with you, no matter what.”

“I love you,” you slur as darkness consumes you, the heaviness of your body pulling you into a sleep you need. You don’t feel upset when you don’t hear a response, just the arms of his embrace.

By the time early morning comes, the other side of the bed is cold, and the ghost of Adrian’s arms remains.

It’s not just knowing that the person on the other side of the hallway would never know how you felt, but the sense that you could never go back to seeing him just as a dear friend.

-

A/N:

This was a long one to write, but I hope you enjoyed it!

[bitciziad]

got cockblocked by art block i fear

anyway pathetic loser doodles + other drawings under the cut while i work through it and back with yet more music stuck in my head like a broken record;

bitciziad rambling nonsense btw bc i like talking to u maybe probably : binge’s radio station moment of last week was pretty ricky lyrics 24/7 (i dont know why bc i haven’t even listened to them in y e a r s it hit me out of the blue i was over here thinking “yessirrr”, “hotter than a bisquick biscuit out the oven”, “i’m rolling down 95”, “dudes on my chevy, girls in my chevy” etc. for forever with other stupid shit y’all know how your brain gets when you have relentless music stuck in your head)

this week is smashing pumpkins (and sublime like always) so the drawing below is bc of that cuz i reference a song or something every single time somehow with no relevance even in an entirely unrelated post/comment and i forget we aren’t mentally connected and you might not know what i’m thinking/referencing no matter how obscure it is (yet.. we aren’t on the same wavelength YET… just u wait tho) BUT it’s temporary give me like a week or two and i won’t have radio static on repeat i will be a functioning member of society but unfortunately for those of y’all that read my post all the way through u weren’t spared my nonsense whatsoever have a complimentary water or redbull or something from me to u

OKAY BUT DOL i’m going to forget this as soon as i post but how neat would a drawing of some of the DoL characters be of like smashing pumpkin faces (not the band i mean like actual pumpkins but yes 100% inspired by once again music i was thinking of/listening to i promise it’s relevant to the rambling this time. idk i haven’t even touched the game in a month i’m just drawing some characters and thinking of building another world unrelated to my other ocs)

ima just use kylar as an example cuz he is the only one i can draw rn but like one of those graphic in-your-face style dynamic poses (ex: falling into the canvas) that kinda takes up the whole canvas but it’s a splattered pumpkin face with a grunge(? not really the word i’m tryna say but yeah) vibe and add some word or something in those big bold letters across the page, like the word “disarm” idk (i’m using bits and pieces of this blog as an excuse to ramble atp)

+ one more sketch featuring other unrelated things but there is one kylar at least im just feelin’ lazy with it LMAOOO

idk what’s up with my timeline thing i don’t see like 80% of my mutuals’/people i follow posts but i will fix it (insert saluting emoji cuz i can’t find it rn)

[cupcakeslushie]

Leo and Mikey think they’re Yōkai (I still have no idea if Big Mama was lying to the boys about not knowing what mutants were?? She pretended not to know Draxum as well but then that was a lie. Idk we’ll just assume that she assumes Mikey is a yōkai, or keeps it to herself if Draxum ever tries and fails to talk her into giving Mikey back to him). Raph and Donnie know they’re mutants. But once everyone reunites they get told some way or another. Leo’s talk with Splinter about this will actually be pretty important!

I’m not so cruel that I’d make them hate each other forever, I promise. They have one of my fav dynamics in the show. So Donnie will eventually start to warm up to April before Three does at least.

Draxum at least gave Three a few years of milder testing when he was very young. He only had to endure punishments for if he ever acted up (which for Draxum sometimes that was just speaking too much). So he was probably mentally sound for the most part until about 8 and then the real depraved stuff got brought out. He just got steadily worse until at 13 Draxum declared him unsalvageable and starting ignoring him unless necessary. All around Three is never really serious about anything for longer than a few moments.

Timeline for episodes has changed a bit to kinda move around the really goofy crazy episodes to later, but also the whole Shredder arc will be different because of him already being present. The more ideas I get the more I’m changing things around! ;)

Yes Mikey is first up! And I’m so excited for the next few pages coming up. I thought they’d give me more trouble because of the heavier action but somehow they’re looking exactly how I want them to. Why is it so much harder drawing characters just reacting to stuff?? Makes no sense.

I’m not actively taking requests right now but maybe in Donnie’s rescue chapter I can try to fit it in!

——————

Reminder to check out the separated au tag and the pinned post at the top of my page. Some of your questions might’ve already been asked and answered!! ❤️💙🧡💜💛

[lincolndjarin]

i didnt realize we hit 1500 until just now :,)

thank you all so much, ily ily ily, i love sharing my writing with you all and im so excited for whats to come. i dont have anything special planned as a milestone celebration so instead of that i will post a section of the din series ive been planning lol

me when its time to write another enemies to lovers slow burn forced proximity din djarin fic with religious undertones ^

just uhh for context btw im not gonna post many spoilers or other teasers for this but its important to the sneak peek that yall know that reader is a cyborg in this. a good chunk of the right side of her body has been replaced with robotics so yeah and din is a real dick about it lmao. enjoy !

⚙️

“I don’t travel with droids.” His voice reminds you of Boba’s when he wears that ridiculous helmet of his. Cold and hollow, more metal than man.

Boba sounds almost defensive of you when he speaks again. You can picture him leaning forward in his chair, the way he does when someone snaps at him. “She’s not a droid.”

“How much of it is even human?” You can’t help but flinch at that, no ones ever spoken about you in such a manner before. No one with a brain would disrespect someone like “Lord Fett” like that.

“She’s not an it.” Fennec speaks for the first time since all of this started, her voice is a hiss you’ve never been on the receiving end of before but you’ve heard her snarl at others before, slavers and other scum who come seeking a boon. You always wondered why such monsters would dare show their faces here, of course Boba dealt in criminal activity but never with people that foul. They often came seeking a Lord Fortuna, and were instead met with the barrel of Fennec’s rifle.

You can’t help but wonder if this “friend of Boba’s” is going to meet the same end. Both of them said they knew him well when he arrived but now they speak to him like the stranger that you know him as. A rude stranger.

The silence that follows is long, you can’t help but wonder if Fennec really did draw her weapon, before you can bring yourself to sneak a look around the corner you hear the all too familiar throat clearing noise that Boba makes before coming to a verdict.

“Look, either she watches the kid here, or she watches the kid with you. Either way she’s going to be involved, you just need to decide if you want to be there to keep an eye on her.” He always says everything with an air of finality, no wonder no one ever debates his decisions. The stranger barely has a chance to sigh before Boba continues. “No one trustworthy on Tatooine is going to take a babysitting gig for what you’re willing to pay.”

“I can’t afford anything more.” He’s furious. Even through the voice modulator you can hear that he’s trying not to lose his cool, but there’s an edge of desperation hiding under his anger.

“She’ll work for free. I’ll even cover her expenses.” You know Boba would do anything for you but this just seems like a bit much. He’s negotiating as if this man didn’t come to him asking for help.

“You want to get rid of her that badly?” Ouch. Rude and presumptuous.

“The last thing I want to do is lose her. That’s why I’m sending her with you.” You don’t doubt that. He’s proven to you enough how much you mean to him, even when he had no reason to.

“Sounds like you’ve made the decision for me.” Sounds like he made the decision for you as well. Has he even considered that you don’t want to go with him? Your desire to see the galaxy is fizzling out the more you think about having to travel with someone who doesn’t even see you as a person.

Another beat of that silence, dripping with tension before Boba takes control of the conversation once more. “She can’t stay here forever. I promised her she’d get to see someplace other than this dusty floating rock. They need me here. They need Fennec here. There aren’t many I would trust to do this but I know she’ll be safest with you. So take her or don’t, but you aren’t going to find anyone else to watch the kid for what you’re offering.”

“Find someone else.”

“There isn’t anyone else.” His patience is wearing thin. You know him well enough to know that he’s likely to snap soon. “You’re not the only one who’s trying to keep their family safe.” The authority in his tone reminds you of the exact reason no one ever argues with Boba.

Not even rude strangers who come bearing absurd demands and who claim to be friends.

“Fine.”

[parameddic]

i just think, the way TK draws skills he has built in therapy and expresses those in his relationships with the people he loves (this post is specifically about carlos though) is so. it’s So! and so i am going to list them, here are some things:

stepping away to cool down after recognising an argument isn’t going anywhere, and coming back to it later (this is about “you didn’t tell your parents about me”) and then -- further -- immediately offering reassurance and apology, when Carlos seems unsure what the meaning of that break was (no petty “good I’m glad you were suffering >:(”, just immediate comfort and support that’s solution-minded)

“I felt insecure” (focus on the feeling, not on the behaviour - this is a communication skill, not ‘you made me feel’ or ‘your action made me feel’ because people can’t ‘make’ you feel anything. Focus on the feeling, be open and honest and come at it again)

“Nothing stays the same forever” is, specifically, something TK would have learnt in therapy/rehab related to his addiction and it is something he hands Carlos not to try to ‘control him’/try to demand that Carlos eventually tell his parents, he hands it to him as comfort. as promise.  this is a promise that things change, particularly things that are scary and feel somewhat out of control. this is directly, directly from TK’s therapy

holding space for carlos’ emotions after Carlos is weaponised to kill a man in s3, TK is standing in the kitchen letting Carlos breathe and not-have-to-talk-about-it, making him snacks and being present. it’s not “sit down and process this” it’s not “talk to me about it” it’s not “this is how you are going to feel this emotion out loud”, TK holds space for Carlos’ emotions and lets him feel them, and makes sure he does not feel them alone. this, again, is something TK was offered in therapy/rehab, and it is something that he has brought into their relationship. “he needed to be more insistent!” TK does not Take from his boyfriend because of strangers yelling “should”s at him, thanks. people feel things in their own time. TK is making sure Carlos has space to feel them.

open emotional communication which is deliberately chosen after a disagreement. TK is actively continuously on-purpose choosing to communicate with his boyfriend and did this even before they were boyfriends: “everything’s just... grey” which is not a demand for Carlos to fix him and is not an indication that any of it is Carlos’ responsibility, it is just ‘let me explain my reactions because i respond really strongly sometimes and it’s mostly because i’m scared, or numb’. this is a particular thing about how they interact which i’m really fond of because of how well the show manages to keep it from being, “you owe me something because i feel like x”, how well it is just, “i want to explain that reaction earlier, here is information you need to know/here is what happened”

offering physical support because he has learned that’s something Carlos needs. the way TK holds him after the fire, the way he reaches out to hold his hand in the hospital, the way he touches Carlos’ face, physically touches him so that he can get Carlos’ attention and hold it when he says, “No no no no, no, it’s not my blood, it’s not mine,” this inherent and subconscious habit he has picked up because he knows it grounds Carlos. he has paid attention to his boyfriend and he knows it grounds Carlos, to have TK’s hands on him, to have someone hold him. this might also be a skill learned in therapy, but i’ll admit this one was just me admiring the way TK listens to how his boyfriend needs to be loved (the way TK benefits from this, too, their mutually beneficial arcs)

Being Willing To Work On It rather than walking away from it. Therapy. ‘I want to do the hard parts with you’. Therapy.

there are bits and pieces of TK which are still rough around the edges but there are bits and pieces of Carlos that are still rough around the edges, too. they’re both there. they’re both whole. they’re both continuously Showing Up for each other. thanks

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

Assigning Every Fall Out Boy Song to The Life Series

because i'm a normal person with normal person feelings about fall out boy's discography and the life series. trust me.

“every” is a strong word here because fall out boy's discography is Literally Like 150+ Songs so i’m only doing the songs off their main 8 albums in this post. if enough people ask (which i seriously doubt will happen), i’ll do the eps+remixes as well.

sorry if there is an overabundance of certain characters/a lack of certain characters. i tried to include people are frequently as possible but a: i am inherently biased (though some of my faves are pretty underrepresented), b: not everyone has the same amount of content to draw from because they haven't all been in every season and c: some of these guys are simply not fall out boy characters to me. it's just how it is.

so, under the cut will be, in release order, every fall out boy song assigned to a life series character/event+the lyric that i think best represents why i assigned it.

TAKE THIS TO YOUR GRAVE

Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today: DL!Pearl

To my favorite liar, to my favorite scar (to my favorite scar!)/I could have died with you/I hope you choke on those words that kiss that bottle/Confess (so bury me in memory)

Dead on Arrival: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

This is side one, flip me over/I know I'm not your favorite record/The songs you grow to like never stick at first/So I'm writing you a chorus, and here is your verse/No, it's not the last time, 'cause I'd never say no to you/This conversation's still dead on arrival/And there's no way to talk to you/When you're dead on

Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy: DL!Etho (JUST TRUST ME. AND ALSO GO WATCH THE BIT WHERE FINDS OUT BDUBS+IMPULSE ARE SOULMATES)

When I wake up/I'm willing to take my chances on/The hope I'd forget that you hate him more than you notice/I wrote this for you (for you, so…)/You need him, I could be him/I could be an accident, but I'm still trying/And that's more than I can say for him/Where is your boy tonight?/I hope he is a gentleman

Saturday: SL!Gem

Pete and I attacked the laws of Astoria with promise and precision/And mess of youthful innocence/And I read about the afterlife, but I never really lived/More than an hour (More than an hour)/When I say/Two more weeks, my foot is in the door, yeah/I can't sleep, in the wake of Saturday

Homesick at Space Camp: Post 3L!Skizz

Tonight is all about "We miss you" now/These friends are, new friends are golden

Sending Postcards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here): Post DL!Joel

Every friend we ever had in common/I will sever the tie, sever the tie with you/You can thank your lucky stars/Everything I wish for will never come true/When you go, I will forget everything about you

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: LimL!Martyn

You want apologies, girl, you might hold your breath/Until your breathing stops forever, forever/The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips/I hope they taste of me forever

The Pros and Cons of Breathing: DL!Pearl

Woah, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself/You know that I could crush you with my voice/Stood on my roof and tried to see you/Forgetting about me/Hide the details/I don't want to know a thing

Grenade Jumper: The Heart Foundation

They'll say it's not worth it, so we'll leave this town in ruin/Living like life's going out of style, and you came to watch us play/Like a "big shot talent", but at the end of the day you know/Woah, those busted lips we take back home

Calm Before The Storm: DL!Ren

You said/Between your smiles and regrets/"Don't say it's over"/Dead and gone, dead and gone, yeah

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over: DL!Jimmy and Tango

I can't wake up to these reminders of who I am/A failure at everything, 18 going on extinct/I know my place, it's nowhere you should roam

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes: SL!Jimmy

I'm all ears and I'm all scars/To hear you tell me, "Boys like you, you try too hard/To look not quite as desperate," I'm hanging on/But I still know the way to make your makeup run/So, and when it all goes to Hell, will you be able to tell/Me "sorry" with a straight face?

FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE

Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued: 3L!Impulse

We're only liars but we're the best (We're the best)/We're only good for the latest trends/We're only good 'cause you can have almost famous friends/Besides, we've got such good fashion sense

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World: 3L!Ren and Martyn

You only hold me up like this/'Cause you don't know who I really am/Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

Dance, Dance: DL!Bigb and Ren (Ren perspective, also this is specifically applicable most antagonistic moments of their relationship we get, to be clear. This is not the usual approach I take to them.)

You always fold just before you're found out/Drink up it's last call/Last resort, but only the first mistake, and I/I'm two quarters and a heart down/And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds/These words are all I have so I'll write them/So you need them just to get by/Why don't you show me a little bit of spine/You've been saving for his mattress, love

Sugar, We’re Goin Down: Martyn

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)/And sugar, we're going down swingin' (Take back what you said)/I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)/A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner: LL!Cleo

I keep my jealousy close/'Cause it's all mine/And if you say this makes you happy, then I'm not the only one/Lyin'

I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Songs): Joel

Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"/We're the kids who feel like dead ends/And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses/I took a shot and didn't even come close

7 Minutes In Heaven (Atavan Halen): LimL!Grian

Sitting out dances on the wall/Trying to forget everything that isn't you/I'm not going home alone/'Cause I don't do too well on my own

Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year: SL!Skizz

We're the therapists pumping through your speakers/Delivering just what you need/We're well-read and poised/We're the best boys/We're the chemists who've found the formula/To make your heart swell and burst/No matter what they say/Don't believe a word

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends: DL!Joel and Etho

Strike us like matches, 'cause everyone deserves the flames/We only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame/At least everyone is trying, everyone is shining/Everyone deserves the flames but it's such a shame, such a shame

I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me: Scott

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends/And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again/And I've got arrogance down to a science/Oh, and I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends, now

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”: LL!BigB

I confess, I messed up/Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around/And I know you dressed up/"Hey, kid, you'll never live this down"/And you're just the girl all the boys wanna dance with/And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances/I'm sleepin' on your folks' porch again, dreamin'/She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going To Shows): DL!Grian and Scar (Scar POV)

I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to)/Your secret's out and the best part is it isn't even a good one/And it's mind over you don't, don't matter

XO: LL!Mumbo (Look, this is a stretch, I'll be real, but this song was giving me so much fucking trouble. Let me live.)

To the "love," I left my conscience/Pressed between the pages of/The Bible in the drawer, "What did it ever do for me"/I say/It never calls me when I'm down/Love never wanted me, but I took it anyway/Put your ear to the speaker and choose love or sympathy/But never both, love never wanted me

Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers: SL!Tango

Here's a picture with a note, "No, don't turn out like me"/It's only for your own good/No-oh, oh, oh/And haven't you heard, the word on the street is/"I lost it, called it quits," get out into the sun

The Music Or The Misery: LL!Bdubs and Etho (Etho perspective)

I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back/It's true, romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head/And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your friend/Because they've got me in a band where I've never seen a heart I couldn't break

INFINITY ON HIGH

Thriller: SL!Scar

Last summer, we took threes across the board/But by fall, we were a cover story, "Now in stores"/Make us poster boys for your scene/But we are not making an acceptance speech

“The Take Over, The Breaks Over”: LimL!Cleo

Wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee?/Style your wake for fashion magazines, oh-oh-oh/Widow or a divorcee?/Don't pretend, d-d-d-don't pretend/We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces/We're trapped and well concealed in secret places/We don't fight fair

This Ain’t A Scene. It’s An Arms Race: SL!Scar

I am an arms dealer/Fitting you with weapons in the form of words/And don't really care which side wins/Long as the room keeps singing/That's just the business I'm in

I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You): SL!Jimmy and Martyn

We're the new face of failure/Prettier and younger, but not any better off/Bulletproof loneliness/At best, at best

Hum Hallelujah: LL!Cleo

I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light/A teenage vow in a parking lot/'Til tonight do us part/I sing the blues and you swallow them too/My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Golden: Joel (LimL especially, but also just in general)

How cruel is the golden rule/When the lives we lived are only golden-plated?/And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me/Though I carried carats for everyone to see/And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies/And all the lovers with no time for me/And all of the mothers raise their babies/To stay away from me

Thnks fr th Mmrs: LimL!BigB and Pearl

Been looking forward to the future/But my eyesight is going bad/And this crystal ball…/It's always cloudy except for (Except for…)/When you look into the past (Look into the past…)/One night stand…/One night stand off!

Don’t You Know Who I Think I Am?: LimL!Skizz

They say quitters never win/But we walk the plank on a sinking ship/There's a world outside of my front door/That gets off on being down/Oh-oh, oh-oh/I could learn to pity fools as I'm the worst of all/And I can't stop feeling sorry for myself, whoa-oh

The (After) Life Of The Party: Scar, again. I don't know what to tell you, this is a very Scar album.

I'm a stitch away from making it/And a scar away from falling apart, apart/Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate/And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

The Carpal Tunnel Of Love: LL!Mumbo and Jimmy

Tired yawns for fawns on hunter's lawns/We're the has-beens of husbands/Sharpening the knives of young wives/Take two years and call me when you're better

Bang The Doldrums: DL+LimL!Jimmy and Tango

The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved/They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date…/And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me/The same way I think of you/This is a love song in my own way/Happily ever after below the waist/Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end/Better off as lovers

Fame > Infamy: LL!Joel

I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with/Such wit without a conscience equipped/I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa/There's too much green to feel blue

You’re Crashing, But You’re No Wave: This is far from the only FOB song about a sensitive topic but it's one of the like... two that I don't feel comfortable assigning to something.

I’ve Got All This Ringing In My Ears And None On My Fingers: DL!BigB

You're a canary, I'm a coal mine/'Cause sorrow is just all the rage/Take one for the team/You all know what I mean/And I'm so sorry but not really/Tell the boys where to find my body

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: DL!Impulse and Bdubs

Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns/I sleep with your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes/You know, it's strange/It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you/I'm supposed to love you/I've already given up on myself twice/Third time is the charm, third time is the charm/Threw caution to the wind, but I've got a/Lousy arm

It’s Hard To Say “I Do”, When I Don’t: Am I allowed to say this is a Watchers song? I don't care I'm saying it.

I speak fast and I'm not gonna repeat myself, no/So listen carefully to every word I say/I'm the only one who's gonna get away/With making excuses today/You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have

FOLIE A DEUX

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes: Impulse

Oh, I'm a loose bolt of a complete machine/What a match, I'm half-doomed, and you're semi-sweet/So boycott love, detox just to retox/And I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

I Don’t Care: LL!Fairy Fort

Let the leaves fall off in the summer/And let December glow in flames (In flames; oh)/Erase myself and let go/Start it over again in Mexico/These friends, they don't love you/They just love the hotel suites now

She’s My Winona: SL!Martyn

We didn't come to compete, this is a demonstration/Even the young ones become irrelevant/They always bring up how you've changed

America’s Suitehearts: SL!Gem

Let's hear it for America's suitehearts, but I must confess/I'm in love with my own sins/You can bow and pretend that/You don't, don't know you're a legend, oh/Time, time, time hasn't told anyone else yet

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet: LimL+SL!Cleo, Bdubs, and Etho

Does your husband know the way that/The sunshine gleams from your wedding band?/Does he know the way, does he know the way/Of the crickets that would convince me to call it a night?/But I will never end up like him/Behind my back, I already am

The (Shipped) Gold Standard: LimL!Bdubs

All the yes-men said "No comment"/My mouth got going/The wrong way, and all the calls started snowing/The time my dad caught me a horseshoe crab/And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back/I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs/But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

(Coffee’s For Closers): LL!BigB

Though change will come, oh, change will come/I will never believe in anything again/We will never believe again/Kick drum beating in my chest again/No, we will never believe again/Preach electric to a microphone stand, oh

What A Catch, Donnie: This song is a compilation of different vocalists from bands associated with the band, a compilation of previous songs of theirs, and one of the only FOB ballads. I can't pull a specific lyric, but this one could be solidly used for a compilation/retrospective of every season so far.

27: This is the other one I don't feel comfortable assigning to anything. Moving on.

Tiffany Blews: SL!Lizzie

I'm not a crybaby/I'm the crybaby/A caterpillar that got stuck/Mr. Moth, come quick with any luck/A long walk to a dark house/A Roman candle heart, keep us far apart/I'm cocktail party doin' alright, hate me baby/Maybe I'm a piece of art/Oh, my friends all lie and say/They only want the best wishes for me

w. a. m. s.: LL!Mumbo

I'm a young one stuck in the thoughts/Of an old one's head/When all the others were just stirrin' awake/I'm tryin' to trick myself to fall asleep again, whoa

20 Dollar Nose Bleed: Dogwarts

When I look at the man who would be king, the man who would be king/Goes to the desert, the same war his dad rehearsed/Came back with flags on coffins and said, "We won, oh, we won"/Permanent jet lag, please take me back (Please take me back)/Please take me back, (ooh, ooh)/I'm a stray dog sick, please let me in

West Coast Smoker: SL!Joel

Wishes bounce me weightless/The infrared scope on pointlessness/The bulls are sedated/And this fight's fixed

Pavlove: SL!Tango

Something make my chest stir/Something make my head blur/Oh, oh, I'm not ready for a handshake with death, no/Oh, oh, I'm just such a happy mess, whoa

SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

The Phoenix: Team TIES

Bring home the boys in scraps, scrap metal the tanks/Get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/Because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/"You broke our spirit," says the note we pass

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up): LL!Cleo

I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see/That you're the antidote to everything except for me/Through a constellation of tears on your lashes/Burn everything you love then burn the ashes

Alone Together: The Roomies (Cleo, Etho, and Grian)

I don't know where you're going/But do you got room for one more troubled soul?/I don't know where I'm going/But I don't think I'm coming home/And I said, "I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"/This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end

Where Did The Party Go: LL!Tango

I'm here to collect your hearts/It's the only reason that I sing/I don't believe a word you say/But I can't stop listening

Just One Yesterday: LL!Bdubs and Etho

If heaven's grief brings hell's rain/Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday/(I know I'm bad news)/For just one yesterday/(I saved it all for you)

The Mighty Fall: DL!Divorce Quartet

Your crooked love is just a pyramid scheme and I'm dizzy on dreams/(And I'm dizzy on dreams)/But if you ask me two's a whole lot lonelier than one/Baby, we should have left our love in the gutter where we found it/(Gutter where we found it)/'Cause you think, you think your only crime is that you got caught

Miss Missing You: Impulse and Bdubs (Impulse POV)

Baby, you were my picket fence, I miss missing you now and then/Chlorine kissed summer skin, I miss missing you now and then/Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger/The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger/Oh, we're fading fast, I miss missing you now and then

Death Valley: This is the soundtrack to the LL Battle Royale Finale

We're going to die, it's just a matter of time/Hard times come, good times go/I'm either gone in an instant/Or here 'til the bitter end, I never know

Young Volcanoes: The Heart Foundation

C'mon, make it easy, say I never mattered/Run it up the flag pole/We will teach you how to make boys next door/Out of assholes (Hahaha!)/Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds/It's all over now

Rat A Tat: LL!Grian and Mumbo (mostly Grian POV)

But I'll take your heart served up two ways/I sing a bitter song/I'm the lonelier version of you/I just don't know where it went wrong

Save Rock And Roll: DL!Pearl

I cried tears you'll never see/So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean, and leave me be/You are what you love, not who loves you/In a world full of the word 'yes', I'm here to scream/No, no (No, no)/Wherever I go, go (go, go)/Trouble seems to follow

AMERICAN BEAUTY/AMERICAN PSYCHO

Irresistible: SL!Gem and Pearl (Gem POV)

Count me in unannounced, drag my nails on the tile/I just follow your scent/You can't just follow my smile/All of your flaws are aligned with this mood of mine/Cutting me to the bone/Nothing left to leave behind/You ought to keep me concealed just like I was a weapon/I didn't come for a fight but I will fight till the end/This might be your battle, might not turn out okay/You know you look so Seattle, but you feel so LA

American Beauty/American Psycho: LL!Scott

I think I fell in love again/Maybe I just took too much cough medicine/I'm the best worst thing that hasn't happened to you yet/The best worst thing/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/You take the full, full truth, then you pour some out/And you can kill me, kill me or let God sort ‘em out

Centuries: LimL!Martyn

And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name/Cause I was only born inside my dreams/Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you/Cause I am the opposite of amnesia

The Kids Aren’t Alright: The Mounders

It twists my head just a bit to think/All those people in those old photographs I've seen are dead/And in the end/I'd do it all again/I think you're my best friend

Uma Thurman: 3L!Cleo

You'll find your way/And may death find you alive/Take me down the line/In Gem City, we turn the tide

Jet Pack Blues: Impulse and Bdubs

Honey, don't you leave/Don't you remember how we used to split a drink?/It never mattered what it was, I think/Our heads were just that close/The sweetness never lasts, you know

Novocaine: Guess what, it's Joel again. I'm not even a Joel main why is this happening.

In the truly gruesome do we trust/I will always land on you like a sucker punch/Singing I am your worst, I am your worst nightmare

Fourth Of July: LL!Lizzie and Cleo (Lizzie POV)

I said I'd never miss you/But I guess you never know/May the bridges I have burned/Light my way back home on the fourth of July/I wish I'd known how much you loved me/I wish I cared enough to know

Favorite Record: Post DL!Jimmy

You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved/Play it again and again and again/And you can get what you want but it's never enough

Immortals: 3L!Grian and Scar

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)/(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)/Oh, I try to picture me without you, but I can’t/'Cause we could be immortals/Immortals/Just not for long, for long/And live with me forever now/Mmm, pull the blackout curtains down/Just not for long, for long

Twin Skeleton’s (Hotel In NYC): SL!Martyn and Jimmy

I just need enough of you to dull the pain/Just to get me through the night 'till we're twins again/'Til we're stripped down to our skeletons again/'Til we're saints just swimming in our sins again/And there's a jet black crow droning on and on and on/Up above our heads droning on and on and on/Keep making trouble 'til you find what you love/I need a new partner in crime and you, you shrug that

MANIA

Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea: 3L!Ren

I'm 'bout to go Tonya Harding on the whole world's knee/And I'm stuck, night vision, so stuck, night vision/But I come to life, come to life/Some princes don't become kings/Even at the best of times, I'm out of my mind/You only get what you grieve

The Last Of The Real Ones: Bdubs

My head is stripped, just like a screw that's been tightened too many times/When I think of you, when I think of you/I will shield you from the waves if they find you/I will protect you, I will protect you/Just tell me, tell me, tell me I, I am the only one/Even if it's not true, even if it's not true, yeah

HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T: DL+LimL!Etho and Joel

I got too high again, realized I can't not be with you/Or be just your friend, I love you to death, but I just can't/I just can't pretend, we weren't lovers first/Confidants but never friends, were we ever friends?/But when your stitch comes loose, I wanna sleep on/Every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you/You, I took too many hits off this memory/I need to come down/An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nother day goes by/So hold me tight, hold me tight, or don't/Oh n-n-no, no, this isn't how our story ends

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): LL!Bdubs

There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you (but you)/Than to be loved by everybody but you, (but you) but you/If I could get my shit together/I'm gonna run away and never see any of you again/Never see any of you again/I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space/I-I always make such expensive mistakes

Church: SL!Lizzie

I love the world/But I just don't love the way it makes me feel/Got a few more fake friends/And it's getting hard to know what's real/And if death is the last appointment/Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room (Mr. Stump?)/I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom

Heaven’s Gate: LimL!Skizz (right at the end)

I got dreams of my own, but I want to make yours come true/So please come through, honey please, please come through/Oh, go out in the world, start over again and again/As many times as you can

Champion: SL!Pearl

I got rage every day, on the inside/The only thing I do is sit around and kill the time/I'm trying to blow out the pilot light/I'm trying to blow out the light/I'm just young enough to still believe, still believe/But young enough not to know what to believe in/Young enough not to know what to believe/If I can live through this, if I can live through this/If I can live through this, I can do anything

Sunshine Riptide: LL!Scott

The world tried to burn all the mercy outta me/But you know I wouldn't let it/It tried to teach me the hard way, I can't forget it

Young And Menace: LimL!Martyn

We've gone way too fast for way too long/And we were never supposed to make it half this far/And I lived so much life, lived so much life/I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice

Bishops Knife Trick: Bad Boys

I got a feeling inside that I can't domesticate/It doesn't wanna live in a cage, a feeling that I can't housebreak/And I'm yours 'til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll/Away, I'm struggling to exist with you and without you, yeah

SO MUCH (FOR) STARDUST

Love From The Other Side: SL!Etho

I'd never go, I just want to be invited, oh, got to give up/Get the feeling, get the feeling, don't fight it, fight it/Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse/And I just about snapped, don't look back/Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand

Heartbreak Feels So Good: 3L!Grian

Is there a word for bad miracle?/Nobody said the road was endless/Nobody said the climb was friendless/But could we please pretend this won't end?

Hold Me Like A Grudge: DL!Pearl

(You put the "fun" into dysfunction)/Hold me, hold me like a grudge/The world is always spinning, and I can't keep up, woah/Faster and faster, can't do it on my own/Part-time soulmate, full-time problem, yeah/So hold me like a grudge

Fake Out: SL!Lizzie

But I didn't take the love when I had the chance/But I swear I'm not sad anymore/So make no plans and none can be broken/No plans and none can be broken/Do you laugh about me whenever I leave?/Or do I still need more therapy?

Heaven, Iowa: 3L!Scar

And they don't know how much they’ll miss/At least until you're gone like this/Talking to the mirror, say, "Save your breath/Half your life you've been hooked on death"

So Good Right Now: DL!Bdubs

And I know, I know I've made mistakes, yeah/And I know, I know, but at least they were mine to make/They were mine to make/And all of our wildest dreams, they just end up with a-you and me/So, let's drive until the engine just gives out

The Pink Seashell: Ok, I cannot pull a lyric for this because it is the world’s most specific monologue, but the general message of it (“Life is a lottery and bad shit happens all the time, so might as well find happiness in the good things, even the small things.”) feels like it could be Skizz. Just trust me. This one is so fucking difficult.

I Am My Own Muse: LimL!Jimmy

Here I am, not sure you should take a chance/I like playin' dumb, lettin' you figure me out/But I was faded, in my own defense/So, drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about

Flu Game: SL!Joel

Last night I dreamt I still knew you/You/I carved out a place in this world for two/But it's empty without you/I got all this love I've got to keep to myself/All this effort to make it look effortless

Baby Annihilation: Scott

The first time I took the mask off, just had another one on underneath

The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years): LimL+ SL!Martyn (but mostly LimL)

Passed my old street, the house I grew up in/It breaks your heart, but four of the Ramones are dead/I felt you at the beginning, but needed you at the end/We're goin' low, low, low, low

What A Time To Be Alive: SL!Bigb

When, when, when I said, "Leave me alone", this isn't quite what I meant/I got the quarantine blues, bad news, what's left?/So, it seems the vulture's gettin' too full to fly, oh/What a time to be alive

So Much (For) Stardust: Ren

I'm in a winter mood, dreamin' of spring now/Burnin' myself down, burnin' myself down, burnin'/I feel like something that's been stretched out over and over again/Until I'm creased, and I'm about to break down the middle/Split me right down the middle, right, right down the middle, yeah

[digitalclaws]

WHAT'S THIS? AFTER 20 YEARS SHE GETS A MEGA?

Well, it would seem, the moment has finally come for Raptomon.

In these past few months, I made and scrapped a lot of ideas, that just weren't coming out right, that just din't "feel" right. Until one day, I'm not even sure how or why, the design finally started materializing into my head. I was afraid I'd eventually scrap it, and I was sad because I was liking it. Yeah, liking it too much to scrap it. This was starting to feel right, which is weird after more than 20 years!

Last image is a selection of all the in progress design sketches I had saved, but I made many more that are forever lost, not counting the whole entire designs I just scrapped.

Some design notes here not to make the post too long:

NOW, about the design itself. I feel like this design is an amalgamation of many "design tropes" that I adore and they just felt right to be all put onto my partner of over 20 years. The references to the Mass Production Evangelions might be pretty easy to spot, but it's not the only influence. Look closely, and you'll catch elements inspired by the designs of the Pokemon Toxicroak, Spittor from Extreme Dinosaurs, 90's Jurassic Park Chaos Effect toys (in particular, the Velocirapteryx figure), and probably something else too!

The thing that gave me most trouble with the design? The wings. I didn't want to just make a larger AeroDeinomon, but getting rid of the wings as a whole concept seemed wrong. There was also the issue of the red black plates of the pre-evolutions. I didn't want to turn her into a Stegosaurus by making her plates bigger and more imposing. So many times, I had been tempted to remove the plates altogether, but at the same time, I felt they had to stay as they were into Deinomon design since the beginning. So, I merged the two issues into one and found a solution. The back plates became shards that come out of her body and turn into wings. I think static images aren't able to do them justice, but they're supposed to be looking like floating glass shards. I imagine they could also be rearranged, shot at the enemy, take different shapes… I feel like there's a lot to explore with this design element.

By the way, I'm sorry if the "peeled" image is disturbing! It ended up coming out a bit more horror-ish than I wanted, but I wanted to play with the "exposed flesh" design trope many Digimon have, and show the body structure underneath the cream-colored parts. I promise that outside of Halloween images ( :P ) I will try not to show her looking this creepy too often, lol.

Now, I'm not sure if she "feels" like a Mega Digimon. Does she? Even with many Megas looking like overly complicated humanoids and/or robots, some of my favorite Megas aren't really distinguishable from Champions just by design alone. Look at Plesiomon or Griffomon, for example… But, I think that seeing her next to her unevolved forms, it just feels like a natural evolution and that's what counts.

Enough ramblings for today, I hope you'll like this design and if you have any questions let me know-

…and by the way, HOPEFULLY NEXT TIME I DRAW HER SHE'LL HAVE A NAME (that's the real part I struggle with… can you believe her baby forms ALSO still don't have a name?)

[prestonmonterey]

intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

hi

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches and @hatchetfield-bone-thief (not sure why that one isnt properly linking but i swear its there you can search if you want)

[lifeintheworldtocome]

welcome to the dyke room

#mandatory viewing is for things you Must Watch before following me

hai im aiden or garlic or baz or garrett or artie. but if i used a different name when u met me and u wanna stick to that u can as well. if youre wondering who i am i used to be the will wood guy. some former urls are uh. labratgirlz faggotmichaelafton willwoodyuri. etc etc

i use whatever pronouns i srsly dont care. except they/them dont use they/them for me. other than that anything is on the table. if youre about to send me an ask saying 'are you ok with me using x pronoun for you' the answer is already yes

im an alloaro bi lesbian and if you have questions or qualms with that take it up with god or google. dont tell me about it i dont give a fuck

i post a lot about wanting to kill myself and i get very sad very suddenly with no rhyme or reason very often and i dont tag any of it. be warned. this blog is my diary ive just got a thousand people watching

i like fnaf a lot and i therefore post about it a lot. i think fnaf help wanted and onwards is more of a fun thought experiment than actual canon material and i dont post about it as much as ultimate custom night and before so keep that in mind. im also insane about michael afton. here is my michael afton playlist

i listen to a lot of music so you can expect lots of posting about that. some artists i like are the front bottoms and the mountain goats and car seat headrest and ajj. here is a playlist of some of my favorite songs. i try to update it semiregularly

i uhhh. sorry i havent made a pinned post in forever i dont know what else to put here. i draw a lot and take requests pretty much always. im kind of bad at finishing them but i promise i will get around to it. eventually. also i write when the stars align and i have a secret ao3 account that has like 2 fics on it if you want to try and go find that. the username is the name of a mountain goats song

also im not as mean or intimidating or cool as i apparently come off as. im a huge nerd and im sooo sucks. feel free to talk to me i love talking to people i am just a little bit bad at it. ok if youve made it this far have fun and sparkle on

[lover-of-mine]

if eddie does call him brother, do you think that’s it then? it’s over?

I don't think Eddie will call him brother, like, I really don't think he will, my current bet is a callback to the "this is what it means to be part of a team" or Eddie saying "you're my family" while looking at Buck the way he does, BUT if Eddie does call him brother, my theory is that they will lean into the untraditional family angle. Two straight dudes and a kid and their unusual family. This is gonna get a little meta, but recurring spaces end up becoming secondary characters on the scene, and we are definitely gonna see that in play during the episode because the conflict will start on the court, get intensified in the hangar, or vice versa, maybe get talked about at the station, and it will be resolved in the loft. That's the same escalation of the lawsuit era, it starts in the lawyer office, it intensifies on the grocery store, gets talked about in the station, and it gets resolved in the lofts kitchen. If I'm right this will also be an escalation about the "breakup" on the cemetery, the conflict starts in the cemetery, gets sorta talked about in the station, could be fixed on Buck's kitchen. But what does it mean? The loft kitchen is used a lot as a space Buck feels more comfortable in being vulnerable, you have him talking to Maddie after red, you him talking to Maddie after the bombing, him hanging with Jee, hanging with Chris, the post tsunami scene, the post lawsuit scene, and the feeling the loft kitchen brings is conclusion, like Buck sitting on the counter after he breaks up with Taylor. So unlike things they say in other locations, like Eddie yelling that Buck is exhausting or Buck and the whole "I feel like she sees me" which are things that hurt in the moment but we don't take that seriously because there is an expectation of resolution after, things said in the kitchen tent to have more effect. There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. Also Buck promising to not put them in the situation of the lawsuit again and being there for Eddie and Chris and following through forever. The loft kitchen brings a sense of promise kinda like Eddie's kitchen brings a sense of comfort. And that works with the way they make conversations look more intense than they are. If you take the cemetery scene for instance and put it in one of the kitchens, it would've made it a lot more final than it actually is being in an unknown location. So if we take the elements we do have for the scene, the pulled out chair, the single beer, Buck clearly needing whatever reassurance Eddie is giving him, and you add that to the sense of safety and promise attached to the loft's kitchen, whatever line they draw there will feel final. So if no line is drawn, I don't think the line will be drawn. Because it is the perfect setup to just take them and say, look they are best friends and that's all. If they continue to dance around the line along with the way Eddie is probably gonna drop something like "there's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you" or "you act like you're expendable but you're wrong" in his very obvious saying I love you without saying the words, while they got there because Buck is jealous, the feeling of the scene will be romantic wether they acknowledge it or not. Even more with the way Taylor kissed Buck in the kitchen, and it's where the date with Natalia happens, so there's this thing with romance that will also come with the low lighting of the scene being similar to scenes with Buck and Taylor and Natalia. So it ends up being a set up that was used with Buck and love interests before in situations that eventually leads to them getting together. So I think whatever happens in that scene will be big in the will they get together or not.

[gayelectro]

I'm thinking more and more that maybe I need to further myself from social media entirely. I'm not optimistic about KOSA being defeated. All the social media sites are enshitting themselves and ruled by techbros with egos to stroke and bigotries to spread.

I am grateful for the friends I've made through social media, but it might be time for me to deepen my friendships more consistently through one on one private interactions rather than passively liking posts and assuming this is a lens through which everyone sees my life. Discord, direct messages, and group chats with friends should be my priority over scrolling someone's page, you know?

I like social media, I think, but I think most of what keeps me in the loop is obsessive habit. Don't have anything on my mind? Tumblr/Twitter. Need to occupy my hands? Tumblr/Twitter. Trying to avoid something? Tumblr/Twitter. And it's hard to break. I want to DO things again. COVID makes it feel unsafe for me to go out as much as I'd like, but it's still on me to like... Take the reigns and stretch so my fucked up legs and feet don't get worse. Play the drums again. Draw and make comics again.

So this obviously isn't a goodbye from Tumblr. I just think I want to give myself to stop using this place as a default. I want to try using this place less and not just pick up some other social media more. I wanna reach out to friends and do stuff for myself offline too. I have this habit of always wanting to be "caught up". Afraid of missing something new in a fandom, like some art or a new fan, or seeing EVERYTHING in a tag, and it's like... I don't trust any of these places with the things we make forever. So I've gotta strengthen my bonds and connections on a deeper level.

I won't promise I'll be good at it! I've been doing this since I was in highschool. It's a hard baked habit and routine. But I wanna just try to be less online. I might still have days where I'm on here for hours (particularly when I'm at work lol).

If you follow me or were mutuals, of course, you can add me on Discord! I'm gayelectro there too.

[soleminisanction]

How did Steph become Robin and how did she become fired? I know it was her starting a gang war but how exactly?

I had this whole thing typed up last night with citations and everything and then the post editor glitched and I lost the whole thing. :/ So, take 2:

Around Robin issues #124-125, Tim's father Jack discovered that he was Robin and went to Wayne Manor with a gun to threaten Bruce over the whole thing. To keep the peace, Tim volunteered to step down as Robin and promised his dad that he'd give that life up forever.

Shortly thereafter (Issue 126), Steph was stalking Tim at his school because if she doesn't see him every day she immediately assumes that he's cheating on her. She arrived at just the wrong moment to witness his classmate Darla plant a kiss on him, took that as proof that he was cheating, and ran away without bothering to wait the ten seconds it would've taken to see Tim push Darla away and tell her, again, that he has a girlfriend, sending her off in tears.

Steph went straight home, made herself a Robin costume, then went to the Bat-cave and told Bruce she would be the new Robin now. And Bruce agreed to let her try.

It's never actually defined what Stephanie's motivation for this is, BTW. We're left to pick it up from context clues -- like the fact that she was perfectly happy being Spoiler and had zero thoughts or plans in this direction until she saw Tim "cheating," and the fact that she then immediately ghosted Tim for what's implied to be weeks, potentially months, with no explanation.

It is, however, implied that Bruce might be going along with it all as a -- quoting Alfred -- "scheme to lure Tim back." Which, yeah, is not great.

So Bruce sets Steph up with a non-homemade Robin costume and a stupid new haircut (it only looks passable when Damion Scott draws it, everyone else needs to stop trying) and gives her this ultimatum.

Remember this for a later post, this one got too long. This arrangement of theirs lasts for a grand total of two full issues.

Seriously. Steph is hired as Robin at the end of issue #126, and she's fired at the end of #128. She appears in, I think, one or two issues of Cass's Batgirl, maybe the same months' corresponding Detective Comics and Batman issues (I don't really care to look them up to double-check), and a single B-plot appearance in an issue of the contemporary Teen Titans mostly dedicated to Superboy calling her a backstabbing wannabe poser and telling her she'll never be welcome at the Tower because she's not the real Robin.

That is the only time those two have ever spoken, BTW. Which is why a lot of people have been annoyed that they're suddenly being written as buddy-buds in the recent continuity for no reason.

Anyway, the point is, Steph's Robin career lasted a grand total of 3 months out-of-universe and forty-nine days in-universe, which we know because she started calling her diary-based narration her "War Journal" and counting the days there. This was recently re-confirmed in 2021's Robins miniseries.

Which brings us to how it ended, which is where I need to correct you slightly, anon. The gang war wasn't the cause of Steph's firing, it was the result.

The cause was an encounter with a powered-armor-wearing assassin called Scarab, who'd been hired by an old enemy of Tim's to kill black-haired, blue-eyed boys in Gotham in the hopes that she would eventually kill Robin. Encountering Steph with Bruce convinced Scarab that she must've killed her target ("resulting in the need for a replacement") and she was preparing to leave Gotham when Bruce & Steph tracked her down.

Bruce suited up in some power armor of his own and went down to fight Scarab, giving Steph strict orders to stay in the Bat-plane and not touch anything. Over the course of the resulting fight -- in which Bruce does seem to struggle a bit but never loses his cool and never seems to be in more danger than he would be in other fights -- he repeats these orders to Stephanie no less than five times.

Stephanie does not listen.

Stephanie rushes into the building, continues to disobey orders once she's there, and immediately gets herself taken hostage. Her life is threatened by the bad guy and Bruce lets Scarab go to save her.

That incident is what gets Stephanie fired.

Interestingly, despite what Bruce said about this being "the precise moment [Stephanie's] out," he actually waits until his injuries from the fight have recovered to drop the bomb, and it's implied that he stretches that out longer than he usually would -- out to a full three weeks -- to give her time to stew. Which I find very interesting, I'll talk about it more in the later post.

The gang war comes in because he gives her some privacy in the Batcave to collect her personal belongings before she goes, including her personal files off the Bat-computer. While doing this, she decides it's a great idea to steal one of Bruce's, quote, "contingency plans" to "wipe out all crime in Gotham... if worst came to worst." This particular plan involved bringing all of the Gotham crime families under Batman's control, and Steph figured that if she could "set that in motion, show she could help him" then he might "take her back."

Unfortunately, one of the "Big Secrets" that she wasn't privy to as a result of being on probation was the fact that Matches Malone, the guy on whom the entire plan hinged, was actually one of Batman's secret identities, so when he didn't show up to the meeting she arranged... boom. A bunch of mafia heads ended up dead, and that led to retaliation from their subordinates. Cue War Games.

[aquaticpal]

WIP Wednesday - Chrysalis

So the other day I promised to share something related to this post 🙂 This is a random OoT idea that popped up a few weeks ago, and I managed to nurse it into a full-blown comic script (thanks @aegon-targaryen for listening to my blabs). Now, I have a buuuunnnch of things to do before I have anywhere near the time to draw such a lengthy comic, so it's going to sit in this script form for a long time maybe forever. Still, I wanted to put it out here so that it at least exists in this form 😌

Chrysalis

Rating: G Word count: ~2000 Tags: canon divergence, fix-it fic, healing, let's pretend this is an AU where uhhh Navi doesn't exist

[desert sand dunes - night, around a campfire]

"Hahhh... Sheik, you saved me again..."

"A couple pieces of bread and dried meat was all it took, and you went traipsing across the desert without even that?"

"I had them! It just... didn't last as long as I thought...!

I used to stay out all night in the forest and got by fine just picking a few berries... dunno what happened..."

"You have a body twice the size to feed now. Idiot." "Oh... yeah..."

"Aren't you gonna have some, Sheik? (I feel weird eating by myself...)"

"I ate earlier. No need." "Pff, I know you're just trying to avoid taking down your mask, right? (It's fine, I get it)"

"My hands are occupied."

[Link stretches out under the wide, endlessly vast desert sky, full of stars]

"Thanks for the music. It's a real treat for the last night before the Spirit Temple tomorrow."

"After I clear the last temple... that'll be it, right? Then I'll be able to see Princess Zelda?"

"...Presumably."

"I wonder what she'll be like, after seven years... Hey Sheik, you know where she is, right? Do you talk with her? Have you met her?"

"As if I would divulge that information." "I guess I'll just have to find out tomorrow~"

"What if when you meet her,

she's not the perfect person that you imagine? What if she's actually selfish, or cowardly, or cruel?"

"What if she has blood on her hands?"

"Sheik."

[Link's hand has moved to the Master Sword.]

"You don't like Princess Zelda very much, do you."

"..."

"She is using you."

"She's my friend! She's not that kind of person. And I want to help her."

"Aren't the Sheikah supposed to be loyal to the Royal Family? Are you?"

"That is where my loyalty lies. The Princess can trust me to work for her goal, as can you. I have no obligation to like her as a person.

But perhaps you shouldn't trust me fully, either."

"You don't seem like a bad person. You've been helping me get to all the temples. And you've never tried to do anything bad to me even though you could sneak up on me anytime."

Besides, we're friends, aren't we?"

[plink] "You are far too quick to open your heart to others. You may have missed the past seven years, but in a world like this, there are many who would take the opportunity to strike at that openness."

"It's okay, I'm the Hero. I can take it." "You can't treat your own well-being so frivolously like that!"

"All of Hyrule's fate is dependent on you!"

"In a world like this... people need someone who opens their heart more than ever, don't they?

I'm lucky. I slept through all these years, and I woke up strong - strong enough to fight the evils in this world. Strong enough to help all the people who's been hurt and worn down by years of darkness.

So, I don't mind taking a few nicks or hits if it means giving a bit of hope to someone who needs it. It's what I'm made for.

I don't know where Zelda is, but... I hope she can see it, too. That all over Hyrule things are getting a little better, so wherever she is, hopefully things are a little brighter too."

[His optimism makes his face glow in the firelight. Sheik is silent.]

"She doesn't deserve you."

"You sound jealous." ("Don't be absurd!")

"I-I have to go." "Wait, hold--"

[behind a nearby rock formation, Sheik re-materializes, hands clenched]

===

[shot of clasped, gloved hands - Temple of Time] "...It was I, Zelda. Princess of Hyrule."

"I'm sorry for deceiving you all this time..." [Link steps forward, reaching out, hopeful]

!! [The room shakes, a crystal forms around Zelda]

[her vision blacks out, the last sight being Link inaudibly banging on the crystal]

"...Ganondorf... pitiful man..."

"Six Sages... now!"

"...the road between times... will be closed..."

"Link, give the ocarina to me.

As a Sage, I can return you to your original time with it."

[instead of giving the ocarina, Link reaches out and cradles her outstretched hand, like a wounded thing.]

"Are you all right?" "What... I..."

"You look so sad.

Back then, that time when you were talking as Sheik. You said you didn't like the Princess very much."

"It was my childish whims that threw Hyrule into ruin. I have to make amends for all the souls that suffered the price for my mistake. Most of all, you."

"Can I talk to Sheik?" "I..."

"That's just me, Link." "No"

"Even though Sheik was always behind a mask, It seemed like you could talk more truthfully then."

"Link, this isn't the time..." "This is the time! If you're going to send me back, if you want me to give you the ocarina... then at least I want to hear it from Sheik. I want to hear your true words."

"I..."

[Zelda turns away, huddled into herself]

[but silently and motionlessly, she Shifts]

"Can we go somewhere else?"

===

[Lake Hylia - the island with the warp pedestal]

"It's nice to be here without having to worry you'll run off again."

"You're not gonna run off, right?" "Link, please."

[they sit silently for a moment, looking out over the water]

"Is this what you really want? Will it make you happy?"

"This isn't about that. The people of Hyrule--" "That's not what I asked."

"...It doesn't matter." "I'm asking how you feel--" "It doesn't matter!"

[a silent moment.]

"Why do you hate Princess Zelda so much?"

"She was weak. All she could do was cower and hide. All she could do was wait while others fought and bled for her mistake."

"She befriended a brave, pure-hearted boy, only to take advantage of his kindness. She stole so much from him. From everyone."

"How can you even look at her? After what she's done?"

"..."

"After I woke up from the Sacred Realm, I met a lot of people who needed help. People who were beaten down and tired, and lost their hope and will. It was all they could do to hang on and get through each day, and some of them didn't make it."

"But not Zelda. She survived for seven years, and not only that, she traveled all across the land, even through all the dangers - all to make sure that her people were protected, and her hero could succeed."

"There would've been no hope in this land if she hadn't worked to keep it alive for seven years. And she kept this idiot hero alive, too."

"I think she's very strong. Even stronger than me. And she deserves to smile, too."

[Smiling - it's something she hasn't tried to do in a long time. Behind the mask, she is worn down, but tries feebly to mount one more defense]

"What about you? You deserve to be rewarded for your efforts and sacrifice, more than anyone."

"Wouldn't you rather go back to a world without turmoil? Wouldn't it ease your mind, knowing that you saved the lives of so many?"

"Yeah, but I'll know there's one person I haven't saved."

"The one person I most wanted to save." "Don't"

"I'll go back if you want me to. I'll do it if that's what you think is best, Zelda. But don't do it because you think hurting yourself is the only right thing to do, okay?"

"I swore, when I met you, that I would protect you, no matter what. Don't make me do something that would hurt you."

[Link takes her hand, and places the ocarina in it.]

"Please, promise me that whatever you choose... you'll do it with a smile."

[Cradling the ocarina, Sheik tries to gather her composure, but she cannot muster a smile. She looks down, defeated]

"...Will you forgive me, if I choose to be selfish?"

"You know what my answer would be. But I think I'm not the one you need to ask that to. Am I right?"

[A vision - Sheik stands looking down at a young Princess Zelda from seven years ago, bloodied and dirtied as if she had just escaped from the castle]

[Slowly, Sheik approaches and stoops to the young girl's level, and reaches out to pull her into an embrace.]

[In the real world, Sheik is wiping at her eyes]

"I'm sorry. Please stay"

[Perhaps, she's saying it to someone else, too. Link holds her, for a long time]

"Look, the sun's coming up."

[still leaning into each other, they look to the brightening horizon]

"This is a lot nicer than last time."

"When I threw a Deku Nut at you and ran away?" "Heh"

[Looking into the light, Sheik reaches up to her mask, and lowers it. She faces the sun for a moment, then looks up to face Link]

"Hi."

"It's good to meet you... at last."

[their faces are so close. She's moved to lean in and kiss him, just a little.]

"Sorry, I..." "Don't be sorry! That was nice. You're... nice."

"Can I kiss you too?" "Link, I..."

"This body... It's a male body." "So?"

"I thought you might not... like..."

"I like you. The real you. Without hiding. Without holding back."

[Blushing but touched, Sheik tucks her hair behind her ear, finally showing her full face.]

"All right, then."

[they do not hold back.]

===

[partially restored castle - Princess Zelda steps out of a political meeting, looking tired. Out of nowhere, Link tugs her around a corner for a kiss]

"L-Link! You can't just--I'm still Zelda!"

"What? Don't worry, no one's gonna see. (Promise)"

"It's not that, I... I thought you just liked... Sheik."

"I told you, I like you. Did you think I wouldn't want to kiss a beautiful princess?

Zel. You're no less kind, or brave, or hardworking, just because you're in a different body."

[she looks down for a moment, emotional, tempted to refuse. But then she looks up, with a smile.] 

"Okay."

[She steps into his arms, and kisses him fully for the first time]

===

[Fishing Hole - golden hour. Link is struggling to reel in a fish]

[Zelda's POV - Link turns, and drops his rod in excitement] "Zel! You made it!"

[full shot - Zelda is dressed in a plain, androgynous tunic and leggings, carrying a small picnic basket. Her hair is free and loosely pulled back, without a crown, without a mask.] "And you brought food!! You're the best person in the world."

"Man, I didn't realize I was starving" "You have to take better care of your own needs, Hero." "I don't have to, I've got you~"

"Here, you should have some too--"

"Oh crud - there's no more?" "I'm sorry. Supplies are still low--" ("No I'm the one who should be sorry!!")

"Well, here - I've got something for you too."

[Link pulls out a glass bottle, filled with strawberries. They're a deep, ripe red - the first splash of color in this black & white comic] "I picked them from the Lost Woods. They've just started growing back recently."

[He holds one up to her lips. A little tentatively, Zelda bites into it - and bursts into tears]

"Zel!? You okay?" "Y-Yes, I just..."

"It's been... a long time since I've had anything so sweet."

"You deserve it."

[Wide shot - she has a little emotional fit in his arms. Color is gradually seeping into the comic.]

[But eventually, the berries get finished.]

"Link - there's one more thing. I..."

[Zelda takes out the Ocarina of Time, and places it into his hands.]

"Zel, this..."

[She gives him a genuine smile, fond and peaceful.] "Keep it. I've made my decision."

[She touches her forehead to his, as they share a moment of joy] "It suits you better, anyway."

[Zelda pulls out her harp, and begins playing a tune.]

[Link raises the ocarina, and joins her in a duet.]

[The musical notes drift into the sky, intertwined over a lush, colorful world.]