#i promise i'm okay i'm just feeling melancholic about who knows what

[dropthedemiurge]

Second part of my translation comments (and half meta) for Gray Shelter [Episode 5], you can find the first post here!

"You gave the choice/decision to me, didn't you? (reference to the earlier scene)" "So your decision is to give me some money and tell me to get out of your sight?"

꺼져 is quite a rude word, like 'get the hell away from me', Yoondae is clearly pissed rephrasing/interpreting Soohyuk's intentions, he's using informal tone too

"Because I live like this? Because I idle/fool around here and there without doing anything, not able to get myself together (cannot get a grip on myself and my life)? Because you still see me as a child?!" "Yes. That's why I'm confused. Because it doesn't matter who is by your side (anyone will do), right?" "And (what's the problem)? You can be by my side. Why is everything so complicated for you? Just... (in softest pleading voice) ...Watch me. I will live like all the other people. Then it'll all be good (it's solved), no? You can watch over me while being by my side. Mmhm? Don't care about the situation, once again I'm telling you, just look only right at me."

I actually really like the usage of 'focus on me' in all the sentences because the translator keeps the leitmotif and it works in all contexts, the entire conversation was translated nicely. Even "- What's the most difficult thing about me and this situation for you? - That I'm your home (the place you return to now)."

I just gave you more literal translation... idk, for fun xD Maybe you'll catch more nuances that I tried to put in here. It's just devastating. Soohyuk sees and feels that Yoondae is clinging to him like to a lifeline, and he doesn't want to be one, he's got enough of people burdening him, his life is hard enough.

He tried to think simply like Yoondae and just live in the moment, give in to his impulses as well, but he just can't. He's sinking on his own and he can't chain himself to another person because even if he's a safe place for Yoondae, he won't be able to save him in this situation, it means they'll both drown. Yoondae has to find his own ground to stand on, he has to get a grip and find a new home on his own so he won't circle his entire life and attention on Soohyuk. Only then it'll work.

"If I find another home, can I call you? You won't avoid me then?"

They don't kiss here – they can't. It won't work. But such short distance is a promise, it's a possible future happy ending hanging between them both like a life vest and a heavy rock.

I'm not sure he means it as 'we get together again'. More like

"If we meet again, will we become okay?"

Like, they agreed it won't work out now, they need some time, and Yoondae now will be holding onto that hope that Soohyuk might accept him and his feelings once Yoondae finds his own home, his own meaning in life. But he's still afraid it won't happen, that's why he needs to hear some affirmation. Will things between them become alright (and the fact that he doesn't really say 'better' or 'good', he uses 괜찮다 - fine, alright, okay and asks if they will be able to even reach that). Which means they both know their relationship is less than 'okay' now.

And in a very Gray Shelter melancholic satisfying-unsatisfying way, Soohyuk only replies: "It'd at least be better than now."

That's the only thing Yoondae is left with. This, and a daring request to pretend he didn't steal that goodbye kiss.

And we're getting a time skip which starts on a sound of a ringing telephone. ("If I find another home, can I call you? ) And surprisingly, it doesn't seem that Yoondae is the one calling this time, as he wanted to. It seems like Yoondae accepted the call but he wasn't holding it or answering, yet Soohyuk called him and invited him for a dinner and is waiting for the answer. Now, the decision is up to Yoondae.

There is a calendar on the wall but I honestly didn't track if there were any other calendars in the show so we can tell how long was the time skip.

"Alright. I'll be waiting."

To be honest, in the ending I wished they showed at least one scene of Yoongdae coming home in a work-like uniform or doing something to indicate he started sorting his life out before that call came through. Because even though the ending is hopeful – they lived separately for some time, Yoondae has his own place, Soohyuk is reaching out to spend time with him now and they both agreed their next meeting will be more hopeful – but will it be enough? Was the problem actually solved?

We all should think that yes, but I wish the ending supported it a little bit more confidently. After such a rollercoaster of emotions and complicated situation, I want to see them heading towards the truly happy ending Т_т (give me the second season!)

In any case, the acting is great and the melancholic atmosphere for a BL was so unusual, I loved the edgy dialogues and emotionally raw writing. For such a short story, Gray Shelter certainly will go under many people's radar but it still touched my soul.

And, well, now I understand the title. Soohyuk is a shelter, he shouldn't be a home. Shelter is a place they seek temporarily comfort in when they have nowhere else to go. And it's not a bright happy couple place, and it's not an abusive family house either, gray is neither black nor white. It's something in between, and it's up to Soohyuk and Yoondae to try and build an actual equal bond, have a place to return to and person to eat dinner with.

[icarusignite]

Like an old melody, my heart resumes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: After years apart and with several misunderstandings between them, you meet Prince Daeron at what is meant to be his betrothal feast. When secrets and unspoken desires come to light, you and Daeron are faced with a choice: to let go of the past and embrace a love that has always burned between them or allow your tumultuous history to keep you apart. 

High Valyrian words: 

ñuha rūklon = my flower

kepa = father

Pairing: Daeron x Fem! Reader | (angst, hurt/comfort, fluff)

A/N: for the lovely @lady-targaryens-world and their request. Thank you, I had so much fun writing this. Daeron is a total sweetheart. I fancast him as Lucas Lynggaard Tønnesen cuz he looks like how I imagined Daeron. Hope you like the fic and hope your exams went well 💙💙💙

Word Count: 4K

"What's on your mind, ñuha rūklon?"

Your head snapped up to meet the eyes of Daemon Targaryen as he leaned in the doorway of your room, observing you keenly. You shifted your position on your bed, sitting up straighter against the headboard, careful not to disturb the slumbering brunette whose head lay on your lap.

"Nothing, kepa," you smiled at him.

"You've been distant lately. Ever since news of our travel."

You sighed as your eyes strayed to the crumpled letter in your fist, "Do I have to go Kingslanding, kepa? May I not just stay here, please."

Daemons said your name disapprovingly and gave you a stern look, or tried to anyways, but he was powerless when faced with your mournful eyes pleading with him.

"Your grandsire would feel your absence deeply if you do not go. Not to mention your mother, she would like all her children in one place."

"But-"

"You will have a good time there my little flower, and you will have your brothers to keep you company," he stated firmly before leaving.

You rolled your eyes and huffed in frustration. This trip to King's Landing would be anything but fun. Your parents kept trying to tempt you with tales of festivities and merriment, but all you could think about was that the only reason such an event was even being held in the first place was that he had returned.

Him.

Daeron Targaryen, third son of King Viserys and Queen Alicent, your dearest childhood companion, and also the boy who broke your heart. You frowned at the letter in your hand once again, a choked melancholic feeling rising in your throat. It was the last letter he'd ever written to you, dated years ago, and although you had written many ever since then, you never received a reply. It was unfair. He had promised you that he wouldn't forget you, but he had. He had forgotten you within the first year of being sent to Oldtown, and now your parents expected you to attend what would be his betrothal feast with a happy disposition. You could not do it. Although years old, the ache of betrayal still felt fresh.

"You've been frowning an awful lot lately sister," came a sleepy mumbled sound from below you, and you looked down to see your younger brother, Lucerys, looking up at you in concern.

You grinned as you carded your fingers through his hair, "Don't worry your head over it, little Luke."

He rolled his eyes at the nickname and pushed your hand away in annoyance.

"I'm serious. Why are you so sad? Do you really not want to go? If you want I can pretend to be sick and tell Mother that I'm not fit to travel and then you'll have an excuse to stay behind with me."

"You don't have to do that for me, Luke."

"But I would. I don't like it when you're sad."

Your heart swelled with affection for your younger brother and you smiled at him, hands going to brush the hair from his forehead.

"I know you're looking forward to it Luke. You don't have to stay behind for me. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

"Okay," he hesitated before raising his fist in the air. "But if anyone bothers you, you tell me, and I'll duel them!"

A giggle bubbled out of you at his heartfelt exclamation. You pushed his hand back down, thumbing the scar that stretched across the back of it.

"How about we leave the duelling to someone else? Wouldn't want our little prince to get hurt."

"You've got to stop calling me little!" he pouted and you couldn't help pinching his cheeks in affection.

"Oh, but you are little," you cooed. "You're so very little."

Luke grumbled your name sternly, and you laughed again, already in better spirits.

The great hall of King's Landing was ablaze with life and festivity. The air was filled with a symphony of chattering nobles, their voices blending together in a lively hum. The room echoed with laughter, gossip, and the occasional clinking of goblets, creating a vibrant backdrop to the grand event.

The hall itself was a sight to behold. Tall, arched ceilings stretched overhead, adorned with exquisite tapestries depicting scenes of Targaryen history. Soft candlelight bathed the space, casting a warm and inviting glow upon the gathered guests. The flickering flames danced upon the polished surfaces, reflecting in the shimmering armour of knights and the elaborate gowns of noble ladies. Long tables adorned with elaborate centrepieces and sumptuous feasts lined the hall, laden with platters of roasted meats, trays of fresh fruits, and delicate pastries. The tantalizing scents wafted through the air, mingling with the fragrance of perfumes and the rich aromas of fine wines. The air itself seemed to carry a sense of indulgence as if every breath was infused with the anticipation of revelry and celebration. The hopes and aspirations of potential suitors, the desires of ambitious families, and the excitement of a long-awaited reunion all converged in the great hall.

Nobles and courtiers, clad in their finest attire, mingled and exchanged pleasantries. Their colourful garments, embellished with intricate embroidery and delicate jewels, added to the opulence of the scene. Laughter rang out, accompanied by the occasional flirtatious whispers and stolen glances toward the newly arrived young prince.

Prince Daeron Targaryen sat upon the elevated dais, his family flanking him on either side. His presence commanded attention, drawing gazes from all corners of the hall. His posture was impeccable, his back straight and his chin held high, and his eyes scanned the crowd with a mixture of curiosity and expectation. As each of his prospective wives was introduced, Daeron's gaze fixed upon her, his expression charming and polite. He listened attentively to their names and the descriptions of their families, his demeanour respectful and gracious. Though his duty was to find a suitable match, there was a flicker of anticipation in his eyes as if he awaited the presence of someone special.

Just as one particular noble lady was stepping forward to be presented, the herald's voice echoed through the great hall.

"Announcing the arrival of Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen and her family!"

The grand entrance of Rhaenyra and her entourage commanded the attention of all present. Daeron's gaze shifted instinctively, his eyes seeking out the captivating figure of his niece. The noble lady, momentarily forgotten, hesitated mid-sentence, her words drowned out by the flurry of excitement and murmurs that filled the hall.

Daeron's heart quickened at the sight of you, his eyes locking with yours, and for a moment, the rest of the world faded away. The noble ladies, the festivity, everything paled in comparison to your presence. He had not seen you in years, but the time apart had only enhanced your beauty and grace. Your hair cascaded down your back, framing a face that bore a striking resemblance to the Rogue Prince who led the procession with your mother. Your eyes sparkled with a lively intelligence, and your gentle demeanour held an irresistible allure. That was until your eyes hardened and when your gaze turned away from his with a barely concealed sneer, he felt his heart plummet.

King Viserys Targaryen, seated at the head of the dais, greeted his daughter with a warm and open smile. His eyes lit up with joy and pride as Rhaenyra approached, the years apart momentarily forgotten in the embrace they shared. As Rhaenyra stepped back, her gaze shifted to her father, and the smile that graced his face widened further. The aging king's eyes were drawn to you, his beloved granddaughter, who stood beside her parents. There was a mix of tenderness and nostalgia in his gaze as he took in your features, seeing glimpses of his late wife, Queen Aemma, in them.

When he uttered your name, it was filled with warmth.

"It warms my heart to see you once more. You grow more radiant with each passing day, just as your mother did," he pulled you into an embrace.

"It is an honour to see you again, Grandsire!" you grinned and then presented him with the present you had been working on during your entire journey.

The parchment you handed to him depicted both King Viserys and Queen Alicent. A royal portrait of sorts, done in charcoal. Your grandsire's eyes widened with delight as he took the sketch in his hands. His weathered fingers traced the lines and curves, his expression filled with a mixture of joy and melancholy.

"Oh, my dearest," he said, his voice tinged with emotion, "this is a gift beyond measure."

He then turned to his wife, who stood by his side, and held up the sketch for her to see. A smile adorned her lips as she admired the work, her eyes shimmering with affection as she thanked you.

Eventually, the clamour subsided and Rhaenyra and her family took their seats at the grand table, finding their places on the dais. By some twist of fate, you found yourself seated between Daeron and your brother Jace. You settled into your seat and turned yourself so that you were facing your brother mostly, wanting to avoid speaking to your uncle for as long as you could.

Once everyone had been seated, King Viserys stood again, raising his goblet high to catch the attention of all those gathered in the grand hall. The room fell silent, and the flickering candlelight reflected in his eyes, revealing a mix of pride, nostalgia, and a touch of sadness.

"My esteemed guests, noble lords and ladies. Tonight, we celebrate not only the return of my son, Prince Daeron Targaryen but also his journey of growth and learning in Oldtown. By the end of tonight's event, it is my fervent hope that Daeron shall find a bride, a woman who will stand by his side as he takes his rightful place in the realm. Let this be an occasion for new beginnings and the forging of alliances that shall strengthen House Targaryen and the Seven Kingdoms."

Your heart sank at your grandfather's words. The affirmation that Daeron's search for a bride was the purpose of this grand celebration struck you with a wave of unexpected pain but you pushed it away and kept a placid smile pasted on your face. You turned your attention to your brother, seemingly engrossed in conversation with his own betrothed, Baela.

"Jace, my dearest brother," you whispered, nudging him with your elbow.

Jace turned to you with a raised eyebrow, "What is it now? You're being suspiciously polite."

"I am always polite, how dare you?"

"You want something, don't you? C'mon spit it out, what is it?"

You grinned, "May I borrow your handkerchief? My hands are in desperate need of cleansing from the clutches of charcoal."

"You shouldn't have been scribbling away then," he eyed your stained hands with amusement.

"Oh, come on. Please," you begged, tugging at his sleeve.

"But I just had it washed."

"Oh, brother, surely you can spare your dear sister a clean handkerchief to save her from the grips of artistic messiness. Think of it as an act of kindness."

Jace huffed, reluctantly reaching into his pocket and producing the handkerchief, "Fine, but promise me you won't turn it into another work of art."

"I would never do that!"

"Mhmm, and what happened to the last few I lent to you?"

"I don't even have any drawing instruments right now. I promise, dear brother, it shall remain unscathed. You have my word."

You accepted the handkerchief with a grateful nod, laughter bubbling forth at the sight of Jace's disgruntled expression. With a swift and discreet motion, you wiped away the charcoal smudges, returning your hands to their former cleanliness. You handed the handkerchief back to your brother, who grumbled good-naturedly, but with a playful glimmer in his eyes.

As Daeron watched you engage in laughter and conversation with your siblings, a pang of hurt settled within his chest. The tinge of disappointment lingered as he longed for your attention and connection and the weight of his unspoken emotions was not lost on his older brother, Aegon.

Aegon, noticing Daeron's gaze fixed on you, couldn't resist the opportunity to tease him. He leaned closer, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes, and nudged Daeron playfully.

"You seem awfully distracted, dear brother. Is it the beautiful ladies or something else that's caught your eye?"

"It's nothing, I'm just lost in thought."

"Lost in thought about a certain someone, perhaps?" Aegon teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Daeron scowled, "Leave it, Aegon."

"Well, well, dear brother, it seems our enchanting niece has indeed stolen your attention. You've had your eye on her since she arrived."

Daeron's cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. He tried to deflect Aegon's teasing, but the slight quirk of his brother's eyebrow told him that Aegon wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily.

"I said leave it, Aegon. It's none of your business," he muttered defensively, forcing his eyes away from where they lingered on the curve of your jaw.

"All right, all right. I won't tease you anymore. But I have to admit, I think she is quite lovely myself."

Daeron gave him a withering look, making him laugh even harder. He took a swig from his goblet of wine and leaned in close.

"You know, you have this entire hall of ladies to choose from. I don't think you should mind if I were to take a liking to our dear niece here."

"Don't you dare-"

"Don't be selfish, dear brother."

"Aegon," Daeron warned.

Aegon leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smirk, "Well, if that's the case, then you might wish to speak to her yourself. This feast may have been held to find you a wife, but she sure is garnering a lot of attention."

He gestured to the various noble lords and knights who had their eyes fixed on your graceful movements. Daeron turned his attention back to the banquet in annoyance, choosing to ignore the surge of jealousy that rose within him. He watched you laugh with a scowl on his face. He wanted to be the one making you smile like that, to be the one sitting next to you and sharing in your conversation, but you were pretending as though he didn't even exist, never once meeting his gaze, no matter how desperately he sought you out.

As Daeron sat there, nursing his wounded pride, a group of noble ladies approached him with flirtatious smiles and sparkling eyes. Their gowns swirled around them as they curtsied and extended their hands, inviting him to join them.

One of the ladies, a vivacious brunette with a playful tone, spoke up, her voice laced with excitement, "Prince Daeron, would you do us the honour of sharing a dance with us?"

Daeron glanced at the ladies, his initial reluctance warring with the desire to distract himself from his lingering disappointment. With a sigh, he relented and rose from his seat, offering a polite smile.

"I would be delighted, ladies. Allow me to make this evening memorable for us all."

You watched him leave, a mix of bitterness and sadness welling up within you. You had expected this, but now as you witnessed him embracing the company of other ladies, you couldn't help the surge of tears that forced their way into your eyes. You scolded yourself inwardly for feeling this way, knowing you had no right to claim his attention solely for yourself.

Berating yourself, you forced a smile and attempted to push your discontent aside. You knew that Daeron was at the age where a potential wife was being sought for him. These noble ladies, giggling and vying for his attention, were merely following the customs of courtship as they tried to make themselves as appealing as possible to him. Each attempted to capture his interest with their charms, their eyes sparkling with hope. They swirled around him, showcasing their graceful movements and engaging in light-hearted banter.

Daeron, despite his initial reluctance, allowed himself to be swept into the dance, making polite conversation and offering charming smiles to each lady in turn. He appreciated their efforts and acknowledged their beauty, but his heart remained distant, his thoughts still preoccupied with you. He thought he caught your gaze from across the room, but he couldn't be sure and he didn't want to delude himself into thinking that you actually cared.

It was only the trembling of your lips that gave you away and when you discreetly excused yourself to rush out of the great hall, Daeron abandoned his dance partner mid-step and made his way swiftly towards you. The noble ladies he left behind exchanged confused glances, their voices hushed in curiosity as they watched him break away from their company. He followed the path you had taken, emerging into one of the adjoining dimly lit corridors where you stood with your back toward him. Your shoulder shook as you clamped your hands over your mouth to stifle the sob building inside.

Daeron stood at a distance, not sure what to do or say. You must have sensed his presence though, because you straightened your back and quickly brushed away any lingering tears before turning to give him your brightest smile.

"My prince. Should you not be back in the great hall? You know, dancing with your future wife?"

Daeron frowned, "What future wife?"

"One of those ladies is meant to be your future wife, isn't she? So shouldn't you be spending time with her?" you snapped.

In the solitude of the corridor, Daeron's eyes flickered with hurt as your words cut through him. He had hoped for a warm reunion, a chance to express his feelings and seek understanding. Instead, he found himself facing your unexpected harshness.

"Is that what you truly want? To see me dance with others while you remain distant? Can you not find it in your heart to tell me why you're upset? Why you've been avoiding me?" he pleaded.

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean!"

"How am I supposed to know when you won't say anything!"

A fresh wave of tears welled up in your eyes. How dare he be this audacious. He was pretending to be oblivious.

"You think I've been avoiding you? That I've willingly chosen to keep my distance? Perhaps you should look inward, Daeron. You never responded to a single one of the letters I wrote to you. You went to Oldtown and forgot all about me!" your voice broke, the tears running freely down your face now.

"Letters?"

"Do not pretend not to know!"

Daeron rushed toward you, entwining his fingers with yours, eyes boring into yours as he said your name.

"What letters? I swear I never received any letters. I thought it was you who had forgotten about me."

"Liar! I do not care if you did not care enough to respond but at least do not be a coward and pretend not to know about them altogether."

"Listen-"

"It doesn't even matter," you interrupted, wrenching your hands away from him. "I stopped writing last year, anyways."

"You...you wrote to me for six years?" Daeron's voice was soft in disbelief.

"What, is that supposed to be surprising? Not all of us can be callous and cruel like you. You were my friend, of course I wrote to you!"

Daeron took your hand once again, placing it on his chest so that you could feel his racing heartbeat, voice tinged with desperation.

"I swear on all the gods, the old and the new, that I never received a single one of your letters. I would never willingly ignore you or dismiss your words. Please, you have to believe me."

"Stop! Just, stop," you pleaded. "Go back to your dancing and select a wife from amongst the ladies grandsire has chosen for you."

You wanted to believe Daeron, to let go of the resentment that had consumed you, but the wounds ran deep, and trust was a fragile thread between you two.

"Why would I lie about this?" he implored again, stepping closer. "I have spent every moment longing for you, questioning why you had grown distant. If I had known about your letters, I would have responded, you know that."

"I find that I do not know you at all, so forgive me for disagreeing."

"Do not say that. Please do not say that. I have loved you since we were children!" Daeron's words came tumbling out of his mouth, making both of you freeze.

Your breath caught in your throat, eyes widening at his confession. Your anger and doubt began to crumble, replaced by a mix of astonishment and a glimmer of hope. You listened intently, heart yearning for the words you had always longed to hear.

"I cannot imagine marrying any of those women in the grand hall," he continued, his voice earnest. "Not when my heart has always been set on you. You are the one I have dreamed of, the one who has occupied my thoughts and fueled my hopes. Please, believe me when I say that you are the one I want to spend my life with."

Your breath was shaky as you struggled to absorb the weight of Daeron's confession.

"I... I don't know what to say," you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and bewilderment.

"Say you feel the same way. Say you love me too," he begged.

"I...you truly meant what you said?'

"I have never meant anything more in my entire life," he gently brushed away the tears from your cheeks, his touch filled with tenderness. "I understand your doubts and fears. But I want you to know that I am committed to proving my love to you, to mending what has been broken between us. I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust again and make you feel cherished."

"I...I don't know."

Daeron nodded, his eyes filled with unwavering patience and determination.

"I will give you all the time you need. I will be here, waiting for you, for all of eternity, if that is what it takes. Just know that you hold my heart in the palm of your hands, and nothing will change that."

You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped your lips as you met his desperate gaze.

"I do not think you have all of eternity, my prince. Grandsire expects you to be betrothed before the night is up."

"Whether or not I am betrothed by the end of tonight depends entirely on the lady I hope to be betrothed to. The decision is hers entirely."

You sniffled, "And who might such a lucky lady be?"

Daeron thumbed your cheekbone affectionately, tracing his fingers up your jaw and then settling them to cup your face. His other hand dropped to your waist, pulling you closer.

"There will never be another lady. Not when I belong to you wholly."

You sighed, leaning into his touch with your eyes closed. When you opened them, you were met with his startling intensity.

"I suppose I might be inclined to accept," you murmured, arms coming up to wrap around his neck.

His lips curled upward in a beam, "Is that a yes then?"

"Yes."

Daeron paused for a moment, his lips a hairsbreadth from yours, giving you a chance to pull away, before they met yours in a gentle kiss. Your lips moved in perfect harmony, a dance of affection and yearning. As your kiss deepened, Daeron's arms wrapped around you, pulling you impossibly closer, as if afraid to let go, his body pressing you into the cool stone wall behind you.

When you pulled away eventually, he pressed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes reverently as he whispered in the space where your breaths mingled.

"I am yours. I will be yours for all of eternity."

[lil-melody-moon]

Hello dear, hope you’re doing okay❤️ I just wanted to know your opinion on the new Beatles song. I can’t stop listening to the song and I wonder how do you feel about it. Love ya 🫶🏻

Hello, hun! <3 Oh God, I didn't expect to get an ask about this song, oh Gosh, wait, I need to listen to it once more - best time of the month for me, let me gather my brain.

*4 minutes later*

Alright so how do I even start with this? It's as melancholic as it could get, I love the melody of it. Piano, drums they are good, especially the drums. Ringo did his best job again, love him for that - the guy is irreplaceable <3 Violins are making the work there too, Gosh I love this instrument so much! But the part that draws my attention the most is the bridge. The guitar even sounds sad, but I'll get to that one moment in a few, because now's the time for vocals and lyrics.

I have one problem with the vocals and it's not John. I actually like how he sounds there - I think I heard his voice breaking a few times? I'm not quite sure about that - it's soft, somehow longing, but the thing is I don't like Paul's harmony in it. As much as I like him and adore him for his music, it just doesn't fit for me in the chorus. Maybe it's his old voice that throws me off the melancholy each time I hear him, but like. The song could be good with John's voice only, maybe even better, but it was Paul's and Ringo's choice to do the song how it is now and I'm fine with that. That's only a detail that I can get used to after listening to it a few times.

Generally what image I get through this song is this: two people on each side of a barrier of some sort. Both can see one another, but they can't get any closer. One of them is alive - that's a woman for me, second is dead - that's a man for me, watching over the alive one. It's just that this one moment let them see each other for the first time this close and this visible. The woman thanks the man for care, for support, for being almost always there in various forms - let it be music, videos, photos etc - for helping her in another hard time in her life and so on and so on.

And now to the lyrics, oh God almighty.

It's one of the songs that got my attention to the lyrics almost right away, that's why I couldn't exactly say that if I like it or not after first listen - I always have it like that if this happens - but they got my attention for a reason. This song, at least for me, is about longing for the other person. Loneliness, tears and crying, this is what I get from lyrics and melody all together. I will not go through each verse because that would take forever, but like I have no other choice but to somehow go through it as a whole and get a little personal here.

With the chorus, and with the line "I miss you" the woman breaks in tears, because even if they didn't know each other she has always felt that a part of her is missing and couldn't be so easily found and yet when she does find it, it turns out that it's out of her reach. Though this moment, which should last for no longer than a few seconds is longer. The barrier disappears with the bridge, the man steps closer to the woman, embracing her, promising her that they'll get together. He can't exactly tell if in real world or in afterlife, but he can keep the promise that it'll happen. The song ends and the moment ends as well, leaving the longing feeling even stronger.

This is how the entire song feels to me and even the timing of it is like a strange coincidence because I'm going through a difficult time. It's nothing too major, but university became hard, this semester is hellish, almost nothing interests me, but I want to finish this degree so I have to go through it and yet, there's this one person who makes all of this better. His music makes it better, generally he makes it better for me - even if he's dead for so long, bringing so much joy that I can't even measure it, let alone word it and you can call me crazy, but I think I fell in love with him. In fact I spoke about soul connections with a dear friend of mine and we both came to conclusion that maybe, just maybe this is what takes place, all of the above, the story that this song caused to appear in my mind.

Could be true, could be not, could be even my chaotic, period emotions going insane over him, but in conclusion, to not make this answer even longer, that song makes me feel melancholic, it hits right where it should, I like it, besides that one detail but I can get used to that.

Thank you for asking, love you too! <3

[tacetnix]

[SONG_MEME]::Tagged()

Task: "Share at least five songs that remind you of your muse." Requester: @hexenjagd // thank you my friend! I'm gonna be slowly getting through the backlog of kindness ;v;

01. Liars - VOX TUNED D.E.D. ---- Heavy. Industrial. Oppressive. Unrelenting.

"I...... can't get be-tter I....... want the best, though If I'm... running out, of lifetime You should just say, so"

02. Unlike Pluto - HOLLOW ---- For all of the things that Mary feels about herself, comprehending the worth she has in the eyes of others is a tragic null. She cannot comprehend that others desire her presence, for that's what she was taught. Only time can help those scars heal, but on some level, it will always be a surprise to her.

"Disappointment echos in my brain Anyone would really go insane Empty hands promised me everything But gave me nothing in the end"

03. 65daysofstatic - UNDER THE SUMMS ---- A very simple intro, almost boring for the first minute. Instrumental throughout. Not a single word. Melancholic but ramping up in intensity. Eventually, guitars kick in, and there's this underlying sense of urgency, panic, but it's firmly calm and collected. Controlled. Contained. I keep coming back to this one.

04. grandson - WELCOME TO PARADISE ---- No matter how terrible reality is, no matter how easily her own human life can be severed... she will attempt to aid those who show her that they are deserving of care. She will wrap herself in steel and magic and try to face the world... but for now, she offers you a shelter. It's an illusion, and it is a stopgap and she knows this... But it can make it just that little bit more bearable, no?

"Conversation with my echo Take a hit and then I let go Everything will be okay"

05. ANTAGONIZER - STATIC ---- Unrelenting once again. Move with instinct, let the thoughts flow, let them guide you. Paranoia, Overthinking, Anxiety. They flourish, they overwhelm. Like how surging rapids and floods threaten to flush all before them away... guide them. Direct them. Build the dam and build the byways and build the channels that let the thoughts flow as you will them.

"The softest damage Etched in your soul The quiet terror of losing all your control I’m chasing rabbits, Into black holes I am unraveling into the unknown"

// And that's my five for the time being!! Thanks again to Cat for tagging me in this and I'm going to put out a 'please steal this from me and @ me when you do it, because I love seeing how you guys think about your characters too!'

[gaiussaidno]

another year checked off, feelin' some typ'a wayyyy. maybe i'll draw some comfort characters tomorrow/today

[finniestoncrane]

Hello!! I've got a request for you, although it might be kind of on the...melancholic side.

If you don't feel comfortable writing it, it's totally okay.

Could I request the Riddlers' reaction to seeing the Reader while they're very sad? Crying, even? They're devoid of hope, they've got lifeless eyes filled with tears, and they're just about ready to give up on everything. They've probably isolated themself somewhere, too. Like their car, a cliff near the seaside, or the rooftop of a building, to break down in a fit of despair.

(i'm okay, i promise!! i was just in the mood for something kind of angsty and hopefully a bit of comfort, as well?)

Riddler Headcanons: Comfort and Angst

Riddlers x Sad!Reader, headcanons/ficlets ok i'm so glad you let me know you're alright because i was about to send like the coast guard to you or something to make sure you were fine >:( i was so happy to write this, i want to delve into more fluff and angst just to see if i'm any good at it, so this was a perfect opportunity and i hope it was ok! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: none just all fluffy and soft

Dano

he's so worried when he can't find you, but he figures he knows where you are. he makes it to your favourite place, under the bridge, knowing you well enough to hazard a guess that's where you might have gone. he doesn't say anything, just sits down beside you on the bench you go to when you need a moment. he doesn't have the right words anyway, he wouldn't want to make things worse. instead, he's happy to put his arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder, stroking your arm while you let your tears out. when he finds the courage to speak, his words fill you with comfort, covering you like a safety blanket. "everything will be ok, i'll make everything better for you. the world won't be as scary with me around."

Arkham

ok so you've locked yourself in one of the rooms in his lair, what is that going to achieve? if you're sad, why would you ever want to be away from him? and if you won't come out that's fine, he can be stubborn too! he'll just sit outside this door waiting for you to finish what you're doing so you can get back to your job. but his grumpy shell will break instantly when he can hear you crying through the wall, listening for a bit and trying to figure out what the best course of action is before telling you a riddle to cheer you up. "i can cry but i have no eyes, can fly but i have no wings...what am i?" he reassures you that whenever you want to come out, he'll be right there. take as much time as you need. but don't be much longer because he has work to do. "i'm kidding! well...only kind of..."

Capullo

you're being very dramatic, look at him, he's never cried, at least not that he remembers! and he's perfectly normal and well-adjusted and handsome. "don't cry please god i don't know what to do when someone cries...i can't think you're hot when you're upset and that's unfair." give him credit though, when he realised his usual brand of sleaze and tough love weren't working, he did move behind you to rub your shoulders, only having to be told once that now wasn't the time to press himself against you and kiss your neck. "ok cancel all of my schemes for the day, top priority is to get you back to your usual self, because if i'm not allowed to objectify you and touch you then what is the point?" it's crude, but it gives him an excuse to drop the act and let himself take care of you properly. you didn't even know he had it in him, but here he is, wrapping you in blankets and ordering your favourite takeout. who is this man? it's kind of weird actually...

Young Justice

by the time he's found you, you're done crying. sitting on a ledge on the roof of your apartment building, tears have left little streaks on your face and your eyes are red and watery, but you're past the sobbing. taking a bit gulp and a deep breath he comes and sits next to you. "i recognise you're in the acceptance phase now. whatever it was, you're past it now. i know the feeling. i'm here for your next steps though." he takes your hand in his and stares out over the city with you. "no one knows better than me how tough it is to keep going, but we've got this together!" he squeezes your hand tighter. "but please can we go somewhere safer, i really don't like heights..." it kicks you into protect mode, pulling you out of your sadness even briefly. he's a good distraction from your worries.

Gotham

guess who found their way to the docks and is literally running on his stupid long legs to get to you, standing on the edge of the pier with your back turned to the world. when you turn around, tears spilling down your face, he holds you in his arms. "crying won't solve anything. who hurt you? let's plan revenge." you assure him no one is responsible, it's just a feeling, emotions, your own body and brain are responsible you guess. "i understand that. we're out own worst enemies." although ed leaned into his worst enemy a bit more readily than you're willing to..."please, come with me and let me take care of you." and without much argument you're in his bed, wrapped in a blanket, being served soup and tea and listening to him play the piano. he keeps telling you he likes to feel useful, but you know you're there so he doesn't lose you again. it was nice of him not to handcuff you or drug you though!

[doctorslove]

Having the Blues

Hey anon!! I love this request so much I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you enjoy it!!!! <3 I love me some ten fluff.

Also I added Wilfred to the story along with Donna because I love him and I'm very soft for his relationship with the Doctor.

Summary: You need to go back home for a few days and the Doctor gets sad without you. No matter how much he denies it, Donna and Wilfred are not oblivious to his love for you and will do their best to get the two of you together.

Angst with a fluffy ending and the Doctor being crazy about you 😌

Tenth Doctor x Reader

The reader uses she/her pronouns

Words: 1946

“Feeling blue, Spaceman?” Donna asked with a teasing tone.

The Doctor lifted his head to meet her gaze. “Hmm?”

“She leaves for just a couple of days and look at him,” she said as if she was talking to an invisible audience.

He glared at her and she smiled.

One of Donna’s favorite pastimes was making fun of the Doctor for his crush on you. She had not managed to get him to admit it yet but he really didn’t have to. It was so obvious that he was in love with you that she was genuinely surprised how someone as clever as you hadn’t noticed.

His love for you was everywhere. It was behind every longing look he’d give you, thinking that no one would notice; behind every kiss he’d leave on your forehead after a long day; behind every hug, and every smile, and every worried expression he’d wear when you were upset.

Donna knew because of course she did. The Doctor was her best friend; she knew what was going on in his hearts. But exactly because he was her best friend it also pained her seeing him this melancholic.

She had seen the look on his face when you’d said you had to go back to Earth for a few days to see your family and friends. His reaction was supportive but she could tell that his smile was sad. He’d miss you. This dumbo! The two of you would become a couple by the end of this week if she had any say in the matter. And she’d do the best she could.

“I was thinking of visiting gramps tonight. How about you come with me? So you feel a little less lonely.”

“I’m not lonely, Donna,” he replied with a flat tone.

“Sure. So are you coming or not?”

He gave her a long stare, remaining quiet.

“Fine.”

--

“Is everything okay, Doctor?”

Wilfred’s voice made him realize he was not paying attention to the conversation they were having. Visiting Donna’s grandpa with her was not helping him escape his thoughts about you like she had promised him.

“What?” he asked playing with his ear, still processing Wilfred’s words. “Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been talking much less than usual. I’m a bit worried about you to be honest.”

“Why does everyone think I’m not okay? I’m perfectly fine!” he snapped.

“Ohhh…” Wilfred said lifting his eyebrows, turning his head towards Donna who already had a knowing look on her face. “Seems like you were right.”

“Told ya.”

“Wait, right about what?” the Doctor asked looking all confused.

“About you being in love with that friend of yours, Y/N.”

“I’m…Wha-....Who…That’s n-… Donna!”

“Oh come on, Doctor, it’s just the three of us here. You can say it,” she replied to his nonsense.

“I can’t believe you two gossip about my personal life when I’m not around,” he complained after a long pause.

“What else are we supposed to do?” Donna said, returning to the table the other two were sitting at, serving them some tea.

Wilfred laughed but he reached out his hand to hold the Doctor’s. “Why are you torturing yourself over this? Why don’t you just tell her?”

“It’s not that simple,” he replied. It was obvious by his voice how much the subject hurt him. The thought of never getting to have you completely his made his chest tighten.

“Why not?”

The Doctor exhaled by his nose; a failed attempt for a laugh. “Why not... You know who I am. What I am.”

Donna and Wilfred were silent, looking serious this time.

“But all of that doesn’t matter anyway. She only sees me as a friend.”

“Now that’s not true!” Donna exclaimed.

“Yeah it is.”

“You can’t know that. Not until you tell her.”

“Can we stop talking about this? You were supposed to be cheering me up.”

“Oh Doctor…” Wilfred squeezed his hand even tighter. “You might be much older than me but I still see you as a son. And as a dad I would tell you to go get the girl you love. When you find love you keep it. You never let it go.”

The Doctor’s hearts were breaking while listening to him.

“I know you can’t have forever with her,” he continued, “and I know that it hurts and I’m so sorry, but letting the time you do have with her slip away would be a huge mistake.”

“And what if she doesn’t feel the same? What if I tell her and I end up losing her? Losing her even earlier.”

“Then that’s a risk you’ll have to take.”

Donna smiled sadly at her friend. She had a plan for the following day.

--

You heard your doorbell ring. You stood up from your desk quickly and ran to see who it was only to find Donna standing at your door.

“Donna, what are you doing here? Did something happen? Is the Doctor okay?”

“Whoa whoa, relax, nothing happened,” she smiled trying to calm you down. “I just wanted to see you.”

You exhaled with relief. “Sorry. I just didn’t expect to see you here. Come in.”

While you were leading both of you to the living room, many thoughts came to your mind. Was everything really okay or did she want to tell you something bad and was just trying to bring it up carefully?

“I’m a bit worried,” you vocalized your worries. “You knew I’m coming back tonight, what’s so important you wanna tell me that couldn’t wait?”

“I just wanted us to be alone. Without the Doctor.”

“Oh…” you said, intrigued, settling next to her on the couch. “What is it?”

“Well I…I’m gonna be forward about it.”

“Okay…”

She took a deep breath.

“Do you have feelings for the Doctor?”

You were not expecting that question. You blushed and turned your gaze down to your lap.

“I knew it!” she shouted with pure happiness.

“Donna!”

“You two are such idiots, I don’t know what I'm gonna do with you. If you didn’t have me, I swear…”

You were staring at her, looking absolutely lost.

She smiled softly at you. “You’re in love with him, right?”

There was no point in denying it, the secret was out already. You nodded yes.

“Well you’re in luck because this dumbass of a spaceman is head over heels in love with you.”

“He is?” you asked, feeling your heart melt.

“Oh like crazy!”

At no other time in your life had you ever felt this many butterflies fill your chest and stomach. You could not believe that your best friend, your love, who you thought would never see you the way you saw him, was in love with you. In love. The Doctor loved you.

You let out a dreamy sigh. “He…he loves me. Donna he loves me,” you giggled covering your mouth with both of your hands.

“I know!” she said, joining your laughter and taking you in her arms.

--

Oh you were going to give him the biggest kiss in the world.

Donna stayed for a long time and told you all about the Doctor’s feelings for you and how worried he was that you didn’t love him back. It broke your heart to think of him being sad because of you. This would end tonight.

She didn’t join you back to the TARDIS. You both thought it would be better if it was just you and the Doctor there to talk freely about your feelings.

You thanked her for everything though and gave her the biggest hug you could along with the promise that you’d bake for her her favorite cookies.

Before you knew it you were standing in front of the TARDIS.

--

“She’ll love this one,” the Doctor whispered to himself, writing down on a piece of paper, adding the name of a planet he wanted to visit with you on a list along with others. This planet’s land was your favorite color. He could just imagine your beautiful smile when you’d see it for the first time.

Maybe then…Maybe that would be a good time to talk to you. A romantic place for a romantic talk. Hopefully.

“Doctor?”

He heard your sweet voice and ran to the door.

“You’re back!” He gave you his largest smile and took you in his arms, lifting you from the floor, and giving you a little spin. “Oh I missed you!”

“I missed you too, Doctor. So much.”

You nuzzled your face against his neck. You really had missed him. And now you were back; back to your home; to your comfort; to him.

After a long moment of trying to get enough of each other, you let go. His arms were still lingering around you and the stare the two of you shared was starting to fill with tension.

Your breathing was fast, looking into his eyes. He was handsome. So handsome you couldn’t think of anything else sometimes.

He grabbed your hand, breaking the tension. “Come on,” he said with excitement, leading you to the console. “See what I made while you were away.”

It was a list of places he wanted to visit with you. He started explaining what each of them was. Every single one of them had a reason to be added there. And every reason was related to you or your interests. On one of them, for example, grew a pretty flower that you had seen that one time in one of his books and had mentioned you wanted to see in person; another planet's name sounded like yours.

God he was so sweet. You had never thought you’d meet someone who'd care for you like he did; especially someone as lovely as him.

“Doctor?” you interrupted him.

“Yeah?” He turned to look at you with a soft expression.

You couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him. So you didn’t.

You placed a hand on his cheek and brought your lips together. You felt him tremble against you but a few seconds later he wrapped his arms around you and brought you impossibly close.

The Doctor let out a little moan while deepening the kiss. Oh yeah he would be the end of you.

This was by far the happiest moment of your life.

You kissed, and kissed, and kissed for a very long moment until you had to stop to get some oxygen back to your system.

You stayed close though, your bodies touching just like your foreheads did.

“I love you,” you said sounding breathless.

He smiled.

You promised to yourself that you were gonna kiss that smile all night long.

“Oh Y/N…I love you too. I love you.”

The two of you laughed overwhelmed by joy and the Doctor brought your head to his chest, holding you close.

“Did Donna have something to do with this sudden expression of feelings?” he asked.

“She absolutely did.”

He chuckled. “I knew she was up to something, she was acting so sneaky all day.”

You looked up to him. “I’m glad she did.”

“Me too, darling.”

He left a little kiss on the tip of your nose. You gave a bright smile to the love of your life.

“Can you say it again?” he asked, cupping your cheek with his palm.

“Say what again?” You acted naive even though you already knew what he meant.

“That you love me,” he mumbled shyly.

“I love you,” you responded with your entire heart.

He grinned at you. “Again.”

“I love you,” you repeated. “I lov-”

You didn’t have the chance to finish your sentence as the Doctor grabbed your face and kissed you again.

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

⤷ verse 2. in the dreams that we once shared

⤷ miya osamu, bokuto koutarou

⤷ verse 1 | verse 3

⤷ play. sorrow by sleeping at last, wrong direction by hailee steinfield

commissions: open

⇢ OSAMU stays still in his seat, melancholic eyes contrasting your bright ones while you twirl around in the middle of the ballroom. he admits, your dream wedding gown fit your figure perfectly as it flowed so gracefully the more you moved. but no beauty can compare to the happiness on your face as you danced with his previous volleyball teammate; the latter having a small smile on his face, not even having a single care about the funny looks you've been getting from your distant relatives. despite the minimal expression he adorns, to someone who has known him for a long time, it's clear as day just how ecstatic suna rintaro was to declare you as his wife, just as you were to call him your husband.

that could've been us, his mind screams all throughout the time he's been in the wedding ceremony, that could've been him dancing with you. he remembers little by little— how those smiles and laughters used to be solely for him whenever you try out his new recipes, from tasty to funny, how he used to be the one suddenly dragged to dance with you, how you used to dream of being married to him. him and only him.

but time was a cruel thing. he should've known better than to keep you waiting for more than so many years with nothing but empty and broken promises. i'll be done soon, yn, you know how much this means to me, this is my dream we're talking about here. stop being selfish please— he recalls himself telling you. he fails to see the disappointment and hurt that cross your eyes, fails to protect the already fragile relationship as you say your goodbye's to him a few more arguments and weeks later— i'm sorry for holding you back, samu. make sure to reach your dreams, okay?

i'm sorry. no matter how many times he says it, your fate was already done with him. you only needed him and he couldn't even give you that.

"hey there, stranger. wanna dance for a bit?"

he looks up, blinded by your brightness that almost seemed as if it mocked his sappy mood but he nods nevertheless, taking your hands as you pull him to the dance floor. in his peripheral view, he sees suna give him a wholehearted smile.

"you should stop frowning. it doesn't suit your face you know? what did you do to my lively samu?" you huff after a few minutes of nothing but silence and awkwardness while you swayed side to side with him, pouting when he shrugs, "you're such a gloomy ass! are you still in love with me or something?"

you swear it was supposed to be a joke, something to lighten the air between you two. but how were you supposed to laugh when he replied to you in the way you least expected?

"yeah, actually, i still am."

silence engulfed the two of you as you tried to overcome your shock. and for all the years he has been with you, it was painfully obvious that the answer he hopes for will not come. not now, not ever.

"samu... it's been—"

"i know. almost 8 years, is it? i know but i can't help it, yn. how could i when you're literally all i see everywhere i look?"

you fail to give him back a reply and (un)fortunately, he feels a tap on his shoulder and immediately, he knew it was time. he lets go of your waist and turns around, heart ready to get drowned by the bitter wine he's planning to drink all throughout the night, accompanied by the tears he won't be able to let out until he comes back to his hotel room.

"congratulations on your wedding, yn."

he ignores the hollowness inside him brought about by the unfinished conversation and goes back to his seat and repeats it like a mantra: not all fairytales get their happy ending.

and much to his dismay, his was one of those that don't.

⇢ BOKUTO was a star, luminous and blinding yet always longing to be part of the galaxy that held the awe of many other people. he was a child with dreams that wander all over the world and with confidence, he wants hear it, see that same world cheer for him.

he was an enormous star but his dreams were even bigger— and as he reaches out his hand to take more of what the universe can give him, he unknowingly lets go of yours.

"you look like you've dropped a huge shit on your underwear with the way you're staring down the court," konoha comments as he takes the seat he reserved beside you, hands deep in his pocket while he does so.

you glare at him, scoffing at his vulgar choice of words, "and you look like that shit, asshole. we haven't seen each other for so long and that's how you greet me?"

he laughs out loud, opening his arms and shoving you in them, "here! is this what you wanted instead? so adorable, yn! i knew you loved me at some point!"

you let out a series of groans, struggling to get out of his hold, "no! you're so annoying, get off me!"

he cackles, releasing you as the buzz rings out throughout the whole court, signaling the beginning of the match between msby and schweiden adlers. you shift in your seat, watching the players get introduced one by one, gasping when your ex-boyfriend literally does two cartwheels in his turn. is he... serious?

"where does he think he is... some kind of circus?" konoha snickers, shaking his head in amusement. oddly, you find yourself laughing with your companion. after all, this was typical bokuto, so full of energy and surprises.

"he looks... okay. very much okay," you bitterly state, placing your chin right on your palm as your arms and elbows rested on your lap. envy envelops your whole being as you watch him lively wave to the crowds, a large grin staying on his face. you huff silently, eyes trying to look at the other players but gravity seems to be playing its tricks on you as you find yourself reverting back to his figure. you wonder if time will let you become that happy someday.

"you're not...?" the lad beside you trails off, sighing when you shake your head 'no.'

"of course not yet, aki. it's not that i still love him or anything but he's just... he was everything, you know? he's become part of all my routines and now that he's gone, it... it just feels empty. like the dreams that used to help me sleep at night suddenly went away," he nods, not pushing you to say anything further. you both knew better than to have a shameful breakdown in public.

"god, i keep forgetting that the air conditioning in here is the worst," you grumble under your breath, rubbing your hands together to keep them from freezing out... because bokuto was no longer there to keep them warm, no longer there to offer you his own hands because you both forgot your gloves at home, no longer there to blow on them as if it was effective (it distracted you both at least), no longe—

"here, give me your hand," konoha reaches out to you, palms awaiting for yours to be in contact with his. you blink, surprised by his sudden offer, along with the pink hues that dusted both sides of his cheeks.

"we can't have them becoming numb, can we? i... i want to hold these hands for a very long time, you know?" he stutters as he begins rubbing both of your hands together, successfully getting rid of the cold and providing a new warmth you never expected will come sooner. oh... it's time, huh?

"uhm... yeah... thank you," you felt your face get hot. it seems like something... rather, someone has come to distract from the coldness you've been recently feeling.

"give me your days," he coughs out, still blushing. if anything, he's flushing even more now, "i'll fill the emptiness in them... and... and i can be your dream so you can sleep tight... and you'll be mine."

you gape at him, thousands of scenes flying through your mind but all of them led to one specific scenario.

"i... i have a lot of dreams, yn! i want to become a star player, someone who everyone will look up to and cheer for! and i... i think i want to focu—"

"i get it, bo. i'll get out of your way then. thank you... for everything."

"i-i'll be your dream?"

konoha chokes on his own saliva, "y-yeah! don't make me repeat it though, do you even know how cheesy that sounds? i can't believe i just said that, god... the things you make me do, you...!"

"okay."

it was his turn to blink, "e-eh?"

"i guess this is day one then?"

"eh?! wait... we... we're dating now, right?!"

"shut up now, aki."

as his golden eyes observe the two figures sitting by the stands, bokuto wishes he could've seen sooner that you were the one he had always been dreaming of, yearning for; wishes it could be him that was holding your hands again and he swears to whoever god there is, he won't let go of them anymore.

but then again, it seems like you were finally ready to wander with someone that wasn't him— who was he to stop you from doing so?

he was just a star;

you were the whole universe,

his universe.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[static-abyss]

trick or treat!!

Welcome! Have a TREAT \o////

correspondence, andy/nile, rated pg-13, 600 words

From Nile's Private Collection Letter 14 c. 2022

Nile,

It's Andy. I thought I'd remind you since it feels like you forgot me. When was the last time you sent me a letter?

Anyway, England is garbage. I keep forgetting how fucking cold it is here and how much it sucks to get caught in the rain. I hate the stone buildings and their cement bridges, and those endless side streets. They drive me out of my mind sometimes, especially after New York City.

I can't stand being alone, I don't think. Every day, it gets harder to remember who I am when I'm not with all of you. I keep forgetting that I don't have to hide from cameras anymore, that I can just stay at home and do nothing if I want to. I thought England would help since it's easier to find quiet spots here, and even if the memories are shitty in London, there's so much going on all the time. So much noise that it's impossible to remember anything.

That's another thing I didn't anticipate.

The forgetting.

I think my memory is going with age because try as I might, I can't remember the sound of your voice. I know the general feelings associated with it. I know you'd be gentle. Even when we pissed you off, you were always so...you were like the ocean. Underneath all the turbulent waves, you were calm.

I think of you when I'm near water, which is all the damn time in this fucking island. I walk down to the Thames to breathe in the smell of a polluted city and I can picture you, standing in Coney Island, letting the waves crash at your feet as you closed your eyes and felt the sun on your face. You never said what you were thinking about that day, but I know it was your family. You get this look when you think of them, this melancholic happiness. It looks like it hurts.

I wanted to see you the other day, to have a clearer memory of your smile and that amused look you get when Booker's trying to come up with excuses for why he needs another gun. But we promised a clean break, and I know it'll only fuck Booker up if he sees me now. I know that all of you need time to deal with what's going to happen in a few years. I know I need space. But for a moment, I just wanted to see you, to touch you.

Is that okay?

That after all this time and after everything that's happened, what I want more than anything is to touch you.

It's kind of messed up how much I want you. Not because I want you. I could never imagine anything better than you and me, kissing against some shitty metal door during one of our missions. It would piss Booker off, at least. He's had enough of the same shit with Nicky and Joe, except those two would never be unprofessional enough to make out during missions.

You and me, though? We'd be fucking hot together. Mission or not, we'd be good together.

I'm sorry that I wish You and I

So, what's new with you? Tell me more about the girl from the club. She sounds fun.

Love, Andy

P.S. Let me know how you're doing more than once every six months, yeah? Otherwise, I'm going to P.S. Sorry for all the scratch outs. I couldn't find a new sheet of paper.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Flake interview 2020-01

Not a new interview, but relatively recent, Flake with "Der Standard" 2020-01 before an appearance of Flake in Vienna (author Stefan Weiss), don't think there's a translation on the website, so here's a shot..:

Rammstein keyboardist Flake: "The reunification was a mess"

Christian "Flake" Lorenz hits the keys not only as a keyboardist, but also as an author. A conversation about controversial views on the GDR, fireworks and climate protection

At Rammstein he is the "keyfucker" - GDR jargon for keyboard players. His real name is Christian Lorenz, but he has been calling himself "Flake", pronounced in German, of course, since his youth. For a quarter of a century, the native of East Berlin has been the alien in the German rock band, the thin freak among the strong musclemen. In the meantime, Flake also hits the keys as an author: In "An was ich mich so erinnern kann" (2015) he wrote down his GDR experiences, followed in 2017 with "Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag", a literary autobiography about Rammstein. On March 26, Flake will come to Vienna's Globe Theater for a reading.

STANDARD: We are currently celebrating 30 years of 'Die Wende' *1). Your joy is limited, as one knows. How do you perceive the anniversary?

Flake: 'Die Wende' and reunification of Germany have to be separated. I experienced the change as a punk at the time. The ossified old concrete headframe of the GDR Politburo was also our enemy. We didn't want this idiotic regime anymore and we fought to loosen it up. When the wall came down, we didn't know what to do with the freedom we suddenly had. But then began an incredibly exciting time in which we tried to develop professionally, politically and musically in every direction.

STANDARD: And then came the reunification.

Flake: A lot went wrong from then on. We were annexed as a useless country, entire biographies were declared worthless, companies were closed so that the western companies could expand. We have been reset to such an extent that resentment and disappointment have built that have persisted until now. By and large, the reunification in this form was a mess.

STANDARD: If you look at Germany's east today, right-wing populism has recently had great political success there. A legacy of reunification?

Flake: Many people are disappointed because certain promises have not been fulfilled. But they already had the political left in their lives, now they are trying it with the right. Personally, I cannot understand how one can vote for the AfD *2). But those who do are doing it in large part in protest against the mainstream parties. It is clear that the AfD cannot meet expectations either. If the AfD were to rule, many people would notice very quickly that it is not getting better, but worse.

STANDARD: You grew up in the East Berlin punk scene. What are the differences between the East and West punks?

Flake: There was a fundamental difference: the Ostpunks didn't need any money because life was absurdly cheap, rent around 25 marks. The koney you made from one concert lasted over a month. So you could make the music you wanted to make and not just the music that sells well. Absurdly enough, it made us very free.

STANDARD: There were also IM Stasi informers among your band colleagues at the time (IM: unofficial employee, note). Aren't you angry with the repressive surveillance state of the GDR?

Flake: I'm not angry with IM informers in the bands. Because their IM status often made it possible for the bands to exist at all. The Stasi didn't lock up its own people. The best example of this is the GDR band 'Die Firma'. It was founded by IM informers. The gag was that 'Die Firma' ('The Company') was actually a synonym for "Stasi". Covered by the Stasi, they then sang anti-subversive texts. Almost brilliant really.

STANDARD: Do you understand when it is said that the GDR was an injustice state and that Stasi repression was a kind of terror?

Flake: I can understand it when people say that who have experienced it and suffered from it. But personally, I can't say that the whole state was bad. I don't want to know how many innocent people have been or are being imprisoned and monitored in the West. I do not find the generalization of the "unjust state" okay.

STANDARD: Would Rammstein have been conceivable in the GDR?

Flake: We wouldn't have founded a band like Rammstein within the GDR because it would have been the wrong answer to this system. We founded Rammstein because we noticed that our punk music wasn't getting anywhere in the West. It took harder stuff.

STANDARD: You have retained a kind of socialism within the band. Nevertheless, Rammstein is a millionaire company. Were there moments when you thought: The money could not only destroy our character but also the band?

Flake: Rammstein is a company where money fluctuates a lot. We have a lot of employees, we buy tons of pyrotechnics, we have a huge stage, costumes, our own electricity network, we shoot extremely complex videos. The money that remains private can actually hardly harm us, because it is so limited. We really have to make sure that the plus-minus calculation works out.

STANDARD: In your book "Heute hat die Welt Geburtstag" you describe the 25 years of Rammstein as a long partnership: It has become calmer in bed, but you understand each other blindly. Is divorce even an option?

Flake: Divorce is definitely not an issue. It's like a very long marriage: You don't even think about divorce anymore.

STANDARD: In the midst of tough muscle men, you were always the figure that breaks everything, especially in the interaction with singer Til Lindemann, who sometimes roasts you on stage like a cockroach. It looks like the traditional comedian constellation white clown and stupid August, Laurel and Hardy with SM components. How important is that to the show?

Flake: We developed that more by accident. We never made it up: you are the strong one, I am the weak one. At our first concerts we always stood around very haphazardly, then we started pushing and provoking each other. When I watch a normal heavy metal band I get bored easily. We always have something going on.

STANDARD: Do you sometimes long for a role change at Rammstein? To be the strong one for once?

Flake: Nah, I have other worries. With those couple of concerts, I can handle my role well enough.

STANDARD: Can you even enjoy appearances or does that only come afterwards? After all, a Rammstein show is precision work.

Falke: What do you mean enjoy? I enjoy when everything runs smooth and everything works like a machine. There are good and bad concerts, at the good ones we take off like an airplane.

STANDARD: Rammstein mixes black romanticism with black humor. You yourself love the blues, which often sails in similar waters. Can you draw joy out of melancholy?

Flake: The blues is the best example of this. Sadness and comfort go hand in hand. All of popular music arose from a problem of the respective author. This is exactly what you want to hear when you are not feeling well yourself. During puberty you normally don't want to hear "Walking on Sunshine" either.

STANDARD: Traditionally, there is also joy in melancholy and morbidity in Vienna. Is that the Eastern European impact?

Flake: Slavic music is very melancholic, on the other hand the Goth culture comes from the west. So I wouldn't really pinpoint that to anything local.

STANDARD: It is said that Rammstein did more to preserve the German language than all the Goethe Institutes put together. Are you proud of that?

Flake: Yeah. But the interesting thing is that we are regarded more highly abroad than in our own country. In Germany there is a lot of ranting: We are dull and foolish about Germany - complete nonsense.

STANDARD: Rammstein has always been compared to the totalitarian parody band Laibach. They recently played in North Korea with the aim of appearing subversive. Is something like that conceivable for Rammstein?

Flake: We'd have to think very carefully about what we want and why we want it. If that were to help someone, okay - but only to be able to say, "We're subversive now," that's not an argument.

STANDARD: For reasons of climate protection, there is an increasing number of missile bans. A topic for Rammstein?

Flake: We played a concert in Chicago once. The local fire protection was so rigorous that we shouldn't even have lit a match. Complete ban on pyro. We went on stage and said: either we are leaving because we are not allowed to make a fire here, or we are playing without. The audience wanted the latter, of course. And it became one of our best shows. You have to weigh it up a bit: should you stop all things like a Rammstein show for climate reasons? But I totally understand that there shouldn't be any more bangs on New Year's Eve. I was in Vienna once at the turn of the year, and there was relatively little banging. I thought that was good. Berlin is one of the most terrifying cities on New Year's Eve. There it's pure aggression.

Notes:

*1) i kept 'Die Wende' as the term for the political transformation in east germany, not sure what the official english phrase is

*2) AfD, short for 'Alternative für Deutschland' or 'Alternative for Germany' is a right-wing populist political party, often characterized as far-right, known for its opposition to the European Union and immigration

[h1kari]

May I have a haikyuu!! personal ship thing please if they’re still open?

I'm 5'4, she/her w long cherry hair & copper roots, blue-green eyes like algae in a bay + snow skin!

My aesthetic is:

overflowing emotions, appreciated nostalgia, star-gazing, late-night conversations, messy hair, slightly smudged make-up, a fast beating heart, secret confessions, too-loud music, rainy days, getting lost in thought, absentminded singing, smiling at a stranger, total honesty, pinkie promises, holding hands, reminiscent stories, conversations about the future, uncertain smiles, inside jokes, caffeine addiction, books filled with small doodles, unfinished writing, accidental flirting, smirks from across the room, sarcastic, needs a lot of naps, apologises for everything!

If it helps you decide, my personality according to science and the stars is:

MBTI: INFP

Enneagram: 4w5

Enneagram Tri-type: 946

Temperament: Melancholic

Enneagram Subtype: SO/SX

Sun Sign: Leo

Moon Sign: Taurus

Ascending Sign: Scorpio

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Dark Triad: Machiavellianism

DISC: DSIC

Life Path: 6

(Sorry this is so much! Thank you for your time lovely!! ❤️)

Alright this one took me a while (was between this one, kuroo and suga) but i’ve made up my mind after some visualizing and i ship you withh 🥁🥁🥁 yamaguchi! Let’s get to it, shall we?

Okay, first of all, i feel like yams would be into you the moment he sees you, and i mean- who wouldn’t? You’re just so beautiful and badass looking! It’s like you’re out of a fantasy book! But you know yamaguchi, he’s shy around pretty girls, at least at first. He, of course, does his best in approaching you, but it usually ends up with him looking down at his feet, stuttering a bit, cheeks flushed and holding a volleyball just so he can have something to do with his hands. You’re amused, you’re pretty friendly and appreciate the fact that he approached you, so you strike up a conversation, smiling and encouraging him to talk. As time goes on, you guys have developed a habit of chatting whenever you’re on your breaks or when you see each other in the hallway. There’s something different tho, now the conversations are longer and longer, more energetic and comfortable, now tadashi seems more loosen up and confident (thanks to his team’s encouraging pep talks) and now, you wait for each other to walk home together, it’s mostly you waiting for him outside the gym. The first time you randomly decided to do that (cuz why not?) he was suprised but touched, tsukishima saw what was going on a mile away and told yams to go on, that he wanted to stay with the shrimp and king to practice (it pained him to, why the hell did those two have to stay out of everyone else???). And so you walked home together, more and more, developing into a new habit, though sometimes tsuki walked with you cuz he couldn’t take being w the freak duo any longer

One day during spring break, you guys decide to hang out (this was pretty normal to you two by now), however it was 2am and you decided to call him to hang at a playground nearby, he instantly accepted. You guys sat under the shitty street-light, gazing up at the stars, lightly swinging on swingsets. You both were bursting with happiness. It was a simple activity but the fact that you were there, together, made everything feel just right, yknow? It felt like time stopped. You feel something warm on your hand, look to your side, and see yamaguchi still staring up, but with a nervous, flushed look on his face. As he confesses to you, an innocent, sweet and simple explanation of his feelings, you forward yourself on your swingset and give him a peck on the cheek, “Me too”

Alright! Couple shenanigans!! You’d thing yams would be an all uwu innocent cutie right? You’d be slightly correct, he is adorable (i mean look at him!!) but this dude’s also a little shit, he’s sarcastic and he loves teasing the shit out of you. I mean- he is tsukishima kei’s best friend, his saltiness and sharp tongue is bound to stick to yams. So, this leads to some pretty amusing bickering and teasing. He’s way more confident around you now, and it shows (we love growth). Although all this is true, he is pretty unexperienced when it comes to relationships, he’s always looking at you a bit unsurely when he’s about to kiss you or touch you in any way, as if asking for permission with his eyes, though he usually asks vocally, shyly. You both are always looking out for each other “hey remember to take a sweater with you, it’s cold out” “did you eat? Let’s go, i’ll take you somewhere” “here have mine” “pinky promise that you’ll be safe?” “you gotta be more careful!” You’re like an old married couple but with the excitement of a young one.

NOW onto DATE IDEAS!! So ofc you’re gonna have late night picnics, with neverending talks about anything and everything, cuddles, stargazing and laughter. ALSO KARAOKE DATES these always ends up with you both singing disney duets while laughing your asses off, slightly tipsy, your hearts beating in overwhelming emotion. You have some black mail videos of yams singing “make a man out of you” (what a bop btw) in a fake deep voice while acting out the scenes. Sometimes you also go to your local library to either read or write, he’s seen your writings and absolutely loves them, encouraging you to continue them or post them somewhere. Also, idk if it counts as a date but for me it does 😌 NAP DATES, he knows that you need your fair amount of naps, and because he lowkey missed but didn’t want to make a fuss and ruin your ✨beauty sleep✨he decided to join you. He was a bit hesitant at first, looking to the side and nervously asking “...could i-...join you? If you want?” “Get in here” you both cuddle and fall asleep in seconds. He swears you’re like his safe space. A home he never wants to leave :,)

Thank you so much for your submission! I hope you liked it ^^ have an awesome daynight, bye bye lovely☺️💞💘 (btw i loved how you wrote your aesthetic thingy)

[hoseoksactualass]

angsty jungkook drabble maybe? i'm in the mood for being sad haha k i l l m e

i love writing and reading angst like i l o v e the pain,, also i figured i couldn’t make it really angsty if there wasn’t some type of heavy background story, and that couldn’t happen with a normal universe, so have this dystopian au,, ALSO i want this to come off as some heart-wrenching black mirror episode so tell me if i succeed 

warning: smoking, angst >:) also,, this photo helps set the mood

You can’t believe you were starting to clock the filthy things about this place. It was an old tunnel-like overpass, and judging by the infrastructure, made around the 2030’s to withstand harsh weather above sea level… considering that sea level was basically all that was below the world today.

And it’s the only sound, crashing against the broad posts all the way from the seabed extending to the roof of the overpass. It’s where you lean against with Jungkook, untouched, dusty with concrete and ash, and unseen where you sit, right outside the handles of the footpath.

There’s no use to it anymore, anyway. It’s only the pair of you to ever leave footsteps here before sea breeze takes your traces away forever.

“Get that shit away from my face,” you scoff. For five tranquil minutes, he’s been doing nothing but tapping at the menthol cigarette twiddled on his fingers. You get a glance at his face through the acrid of the smoke, and he doesn’t look so pleased as well.

“Want one?,” he waves a hand through the air, looking up at you.

He looks nothing but raw disquiet, and it hurt—the way it looked on him. Stern, immobile eyes, listless in his movements, and constantly tonguing on the walls of his cheeks.

“Never mind,” he hangs his head again, stopping the cig with a direct butt to the concrete of where you’re sat, before he flicks the garbage into the waves below. “I don’t like this.”

“You don’t like what?,” you try to meet his eyes, but he knows better. It stings when he looks at you, so he keeps his eyes forward. Outside the Environ, in a distant islet separated from the vicinity is a barren town. Well, barren of people… and not of whatever things had taken over there. That’s where he’s looking.

“You aren’t talking,” he sucks in his cheeks.

“What am I supposed to say, Jungkook?,” you talk with the clench in your chest. “I’m gonna miss you? I hope you make it back?”

You want to stand, but you’re jittery enough that you might as well topple over. You see his face twist anyway, just a very prominent furrow to his brows and a tight squint on his eyes, lips fighting back a frown. “I—don’t know, I—“

“Hey, stop crying,” your voice wavers. His face still quivers, hands in sync so he plants them on the cement of the ground, and he sucks in a breath too big for this air. “Stop crying,” you say through the breaking mettle in your teeth.

He exhales, puffs his cheeks, and half laughs. “Need another ciga—“

“Jungkook,” you call him, eyes digging into his soul, and it’s just now he looks straight at you again.

“Don’t.”

“Jungkook,” you try with your voice, but your face almost breaks. “Don’t go.”

He inhales at your falter. “You know I have to.”

“Just stay for me. Please,” you don’t fight the tears that bunch at your eyes, so your vision is a distorted palette.

“You stop crying,” he scoots towards you. At his words, you nimbly break, forehead scrunching into a silent sob. You bow your head, try to push him off you while he finds a way to cup your face. “Fuck—stop crying,” his voice trembles.

You feel like an asshole, because you only weep harder.

“_____, please,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your cheek, watering his lips with your tears. You pull on his scent, the musk he’ll wash off any hour now, on his loose, black shirt before he’s clad in grey uniform and ammunition. “You’re making me so sad,” he sniffles.

Your face peps up, blinking until you see him clear enough. His eyes look so droopy, nose red and stuttering when he sniffs. “Just don’t go. I’ll fucking fight you—“

“Listen,” he holds your wrists. You don’t break your stare, as if convinced it’ll sway him. “I’m going, okay?”

“And you’re coming back. Promise me you’re gonna come back.”

“I can’t—“

“Promise me, Jungkook,” you shake in his hold, rocking your bodies. He holds you rigid. “Promise me—“

“What if I don’t make it back? Do you think this is less painful for me?,” his voice is louder. It resonates against the walls, and the stench of the aged concrete is something you start to loath.

“You’re not the one waiting,” you quiver. “Not the one who’s gonna be stuck at home, waiting if you’re coming back alive or not. Not the one thinking maybe I’m never gonna even get your fucking body back.”

His face twists again, and he inhales hard, a melancholic crack in the way he does. “I know,” he blinks away at a tear. “I wish I could stay.”

You just gape.

“You know what the penalty is. I have to go.”

The only sound again is the water under you. You feel beat. “Okay,” you swallow.

Then your facade is broken when a loud siren rips through the silence. If birds were still alive, they’d flap away from its noise, but now, it’s just Jungkook’s head perking up and you starting to cry again. “Okay, baby, that’s the sound. We’re gonna have to round up now.”

“No, Jungkook, fuck—,” you pull at his shirt, jumping into the footpath where he should get going. You follow, almost stumbling on your own feet. You tug at him to face you. His eyes flutter, holding back from falling apart. “I’m gonna miss you. I hope you make it back.”

You know it’s five minutes before the next siren calls. “Me, too,” he mutters, pressing his lips to yours where he has to bend down slightly. You taste and smell the menthol burn of the cigarette where your face meets. For once, it’s something you like.

It’s the last you’ll remember of him before he leaves by sea in parted hair, an implant, and blatant uniform. Today, you’ll force yourself to smile at him so that’ll be the last he’ll recollect.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

His Territory

Oh man, I missed writing Cat Rick X Reader fics. I don't know who asked for this one, but I'm going to include in my Cat Rick X Reader series. @kitten-wrath I'm tagging you cause I know how much you love that Kitty Rick. 🐱

_____________________

For the last week or so, Rick had taken up surveillance around your home which wasn't all that unusual, but what was strange was how touchy he would be if you came home through the back door instead of the front door. You had thought nothing of it for the first couple of days, but when he found a hair on your pants after the local stray cat rubbed up against you, he not only demanded that you'd burn them, but that he'd have to mark his territory again. "Rick, we've been through his before. You can't go peeing everywhere just because another cat showed up"

"Baby, I-I-I don't think you're seeing the bigger picture here."

If he meant that you didn't see how peeing and rubbing up against everything would solve everyone's problems, then yeah there was no bigger picture. "You're right, I don't see it, but I'm sure you're about to tell me."

"A cat doesn't step over into a-another cats t-territory unless they're lookin for trouble."

"Not even when they're hungry?" you teased. "Isn't that what you did fuzzy butt?"

Like any Rick, he hated to be wrong. Flattening his ears, he grumbled. "Th-that's beyond the point."

"Sure it is." you giggled. "I mean, it's not like you didn't get into a fight with the last cat that even looked at my yard. Look, I understand if you want the yard all to yourself, but what if he's hungry? The worst thing that could happen is I'd end up with another cat if I fed him."

"Which is why y-y-y-y-you wouldn't." he hissed.

"Wouldn't I?"

“Yeah, I-I don't think so. All th-that food is mine." he stated matter of factly.

"Are you sure about that? Maybe I should pull up my bank statements to confirm that."

Still indifferent, he paced back and forth; the click of his nails being but a minor distraction. "Baby, all I know is h-he better back off my turf. This place is mine."

There he was again, claiming things were his. "Technically it's mine." you interjected, "I just let you stay here."

"And my scent is all over this place," he stressed, "so he needs t-t-to get the hell away from here before I claw his eyes out."

"What if he's in need? You never know if he's searching for a forever home."

"Th-then I'll show him the way out. For good."

You heard him talk this way before, but it didn't mean you liked it. You flicked his nose, which caused him to dig his nails into the floor. "How can you be so rude? What if I had shown you the way out when you had first shown up? Then right now we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"I think y-you mean to show me off."

"No, I don't, but I can show you something alright. I swear if you weren't so…" you paused finding it ridiculous that he'd care so much about this and that you had gotten caught up in foolishness again. What was he thinking anyway? It's not like you were going to get rid of him or anything.

"I'm so what?" he bristled; taking your brief silence as frustration. "I'm s-so annoying? Geez, tell me something I-I don't know. You tell me enough as it is."

Plopping himself down on your recliner, he began to groom himself aggressively; still grumpy as ever, but if you weren't mistaken, his limp tail and downturned ears made him appear a bit melancholic. You weren't sure how to feel about it other than disappointed. Not in him, but at yourself. Could it be that he had taken to heart what you've said all the previous times you two argued as well as this time?

For your part you took a seat on the couch and glanced out the window where the curtains hadn't been destroyed yet in order to distract yourself; spotting the stray which had been coming around as of late, and rolling around without a care on the lawn. There were several things in which you thought you should do. You could chase him away yourself, feed him, or some other third thing. Knowing that Rick would freak out if you gave any indications of preference to anyone or anything other then him bothered you. So you rose and walked over to sit on the armrest of the recliner. "You don't mind if I sit here do you?"

He didn't answer, but he looked away as he continued to groom himself. You went on. "I'm sorry. I don't...I don't know or understand what goes on in that mind of yours Rick, but if at any point you thought that I'd get rid of you, then you're mistaken. I mean, how could I?"

Really, how could you? Especially since he'd brought so much joy into your life. You hated to admit it sometimes, but you really cared about him, despite how annoying, and temperamental he could be. He'd never treated badly like some of your old boyfriends; better then some friends even and if you weren't mistaken, he might've cared for you too. However, could he really when you both weren't even of the same species? Perhaps that's why you treated him as you did; as some oversized pet; afraid of what you felt deep down inside.

Stretching out your hand to scratch behind his ears, you hesitated. Is this how it should be? As an owner and a pet? Or more? You felt conflicted and losing your nerve, you tried to get up so you could chase that stray cat away, but was stopped by a soft hand on gripping your wrist. "Don't leave. If I-I bother you so damn much baby, then maybe I-I should go. I'd certainly be doing you a-a favor."

Whatever causes your heart to flutter, or to rejoice, or to feel pain sank at that moment. Is that what he thought? No, that's wrong. How were you supposed to do this? To show him that you didn't want him to go and that you cared? Well, you did the only thing you thought made sense.

Turning back around, you stretched your arms open to embrace him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you caught him by surprise; his body having tensed up, but soon melt when you returned in kind what he would do to you; rubbing your face along the side of his face, and nuzzling his neck until you heard him purr. "If I mark you with my scent," you wondered; your words muffled by his fur. "does that mean that you belong to me? And I to you? Will it make it better?"

The arms which were wrapped around you squeezed you a bit tighter, and a chuckle erupted from his throat. For the briefest moments, he inhaled your scent, and you felt his nails bite your skin through the fabric of your blouse. You squeaked when you felt his nose against your neck, and if you were honest with yourself, you hadn't disliked it, but soon he loosened his grip about your waist and with a sigh, directed your gaze towards him; a serious, but all the more indescribable expression decorating his face. "I-I don't think you understand what you're talking about baby. Y-you can't - you shouldn't do that."

"Do what?" you wondered, trying to study his expression.

"What y-you're doing it - it doesn't mean what y-you think it means."

With your arms still about his neck, you didn't feel dissuaded to let go; feeling that this was what you were supposed to do. "If it means that I think you're adorable, and that I don't want you to go, then it doesn't matter. Isn't that okay?"

Giving you a funny look, he licked your cheek before pressing a soft kiss upon it and remaining there. "Baby," he softened. "I-I know I'm a furry piece of crap, but I - I promise I won't kill him. You don't need t-t-to do this to prove your point. I get it, but even so, at least I-I got to experience this."

"What are you talking about?"

"If only you knew." he whispered

"Knew what?"

Rising from the chair, he pulled your arms away and that melancholic expression returned. "It's nothing baby. I just… I promise I won't."

And as promised, he didn't. Though, when Rick had left your embrace, you couldn't help but feel alone and rejected. Had you caused some misunderstanding again? Had you crossed some line which there was no going back from? Well, whatever it had been, you hoped you two could move on and get over it. But if he happened to get over it, could you?

Fin

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

OCs Color Asks: Red; Maroon; Rose; Redwood; Yellow; Brunswick; Avocado; Army; Olive; Denim; Teal; Violet; Pastel; Lace; Alabaster; Tan; Cinnamon; Mahogany; Midnight; Ink (I know, it's a lot of questions - I'm a curious person).

i assume these are for tori, so i dragged her in for this…interview

i’m sorry this took so long. i got self-conscious half-way through and just...stopped.

but finally got it to you

red - what makes you angry?

tori: *scoffs* the gods. but more specifically, the fact that they think they can ask favors of their children that are most often life-threatening. that they expect children to fight and die for them. i could go on…but i won’t

maroon - what are you most passionate about?

tori: …well…i’ll be honest, since this is supposed to be confidential *glares at me* but the first thing that came to mind was luke. currently, however, it’s protecting the seven and nico, as best i can

rose - would you consider yourself a romantic person?

tori: can i see the question? is it capitalized? the ‘r’ in romantic, i mean. no? well, then no. i…don’t really have time for romance. i…like the idea of it, though.

redwood - how tall are you?

tori: i’m 5′ 5″

me: *raises eyebrow*

tori: *slouches in her chair and mumbles* 5′ 3″

yellow - are you an optimist or a pessimist?

tori: pessimist, no question. well, i think i’m a pessimist. but luke would sometimes comment on my optimistic musings, so i don’t know.

brunswick - are you a person who is often jealous? what makes you jealous most often

tori: i got jealous a lot when other people looked at luke. but i wouldn’t say that i’m a jealous person, necessarily…

avocado - are you a health nut or a fan of junkfood?

tori: junkfood. do you see what they serve us at camp? like, i get it, we have to be fit and healthy to fight monsters, but that’s no fun! chiron doesn’t even have a day where we allowed to eat junkfood, or like…maybe a bag of chips once a week, i don’t know. even the magical soda is healthy!

army - do you have a fighting style? if so, what is it?

tori: well, i’ve trained a lot with the ares kids, they’re very…how shall i say…underground fight club-like. but some of them know martial arts, and i’ve trained with a lot of them, so it’s probably a combination of your standard fight club style, mixed with some aspects of martial arts. which ones specifically, i couldn’t tell you. never asked.

olive - what is your greek personality type?

tori: that’s a joke right?

me: *shakes head with a shit-eating smile*

tori: well, i haven’t taken any of those…quizzes that i sometimes see when i’m–well when i was running errands for mr. d. dan sometimes sends them to me. *rolls eyes* but i think i’m closest to melancholic. wouldn’t call myself an extrovert–i’m sure apollo is very disappointed–and i’m definitely not easy-going, so that only leaves one.

denim - what is your fashion style

tori: comfortable and functional. tees and flexible jeans. i like leggings and sports bras or fitted tank-tops when i train. my shoes have to be comfortable but also made for running, as i do a lot of that as a demigod. nothing can be too baggy, lest it gets caught on the monsters claws or in their teeth or something.

me: *waits quietly*

tori: okay fine! i really like pretty shoes, though–heels, flats, sandals. i wish i could wear them more often. *glares and points at me* but that’s all you’re getting from me!

teal - what makes you feel most as peace?

tori: *glares at me again* remember, i’m only answering honestly because you said this would be confidential. *huffs* the honest answer would be when i’m with luke. when i know that the ones i love and care about or safe and happy.

violet - what is your ideal date?

tori: *blushes* i’m not telling you that!

me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ do it for your fans.

tori: *rolls eyes and crosses arms* i mean…i guess something…normal. i really like the idea of dressing up for a really fancy dinner date, and going someplace expensive. i mean, as long as i’m with luke…

me: yeah, that’s not really–

tori: fine! my ideal date would probably be going to dinner–i doesn’t have to be fancy, just something casual and quiet. then see a movie. and as we’re exiting, we get caught in a sudden downpour. and…luke kisses me. and then we go home and take a hot bath to warm up while drinking hot cocoa.

pastel - do you prefer pastel, bright, neon, or dark colors

tori: i think i like the idea of bright colors–i mean the apollo cabin is nice with its bright colors. they’re somehow soft, but still bright. natural, i guess i like natural bright colors. but, ultimately, i prefer darker colors, just bc it helps me blend in with the dark. and as a demigod, that’s generally a plus.

lace - what would you name your child if you were to have one?

tori: i mean…i don’t know–i’ve never thought…that far…. my mom’s name is beautiful. so if i ever had a daughter, i’d probably name her after my mom. if i had a son, maybe i’d name him after one of my baby brothers–michael or lee…but i don’t know. i’ve never–i’ve never thought about it all that much. can we move on?

alabaster - what is the most recognizable thing about you? what are people most likely to notice about you when they first meet you?

tori: my hair, definitely. thanks apollo. luke has said my eyes, but *rolls eyes* i don’t know what he’s talking about. but he’s also told me that in direct sunlight my hair shines like gold *snorts* so i mean, that’s pretty striking.

tan - what is your skin color? do you like it, or do you wish you looked different?

tori: brown–like…light-ish brown i guess? like my mom’s, and her side of the family is latine. but has also gotten pretty mixed over the years. i think people get really confused when they see my brown skin but my blonde hair. thanks apollo.

cinnamon - which of the “cinnamon roll” memes fits you best?

tori: okay so i had to ask leo about this, because i didn’t understand. *frowns* he laughed for a solid five minutes when i asked him. and then of course he didn’t give me a straight answer. he told me that from far away i, uh…look like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you. but up close i look like i could kill you and could actually kill you. i don’t know what exactly that means, and at this point, i’m afraid to ask. he walked away chuckling. *shakes head* but he’s right, i could kill you

mahogany - what is your moral alignment?

tori: all right, so i had to go back to leo again. he was more serious this time. he told me i was chaotic good. and after reading the description…i guess i’d say that fits me pretty well.

midnight - are you a night or morning person?

tori: …okay, that’s a joke right?

me: just answer the question. you’re almost done, i promise. [aside] if no one else sends in more asks that is.

tori: *glares* i’m a morning person. thanks to apollo. again.

ink - write your autobiography in one sentence

tori: seriously?

me: last one.

tori: the fates see how far they can push one poor girl without cutting her string, to see if she snaps, and the gods decide to milk it for all its worth

me: that’s really long

tori: fuck you *leaves*