#i put always but tbh there are exceptions

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

[liesmyth]

If you’re still doing the ship rating- Camilla/Palamedes because I’m sorry but fusing into one being in a Catholic inspired text is just not a platonic thing to do and “yes, my whole life, yes; always and forever, yes” is not a platonic thing to say before said fusing

I MEAN... I have no idea what "platonic" or "shippy" means in the context of Camilla and Palamedes, because they are the apex of codependency. In a series that's all about codependent relationships, they raise the bar to new unparalleled heights. They are obsessed with each other. Quite literally two halves of a whole (Paul. Just Paul)

I'm struggling a bit to articulate this but, basically: I get why other people may not read them as romantic or sexual, but ultimately I think it doesn't even matter because they're so much MORE than that. They are such a disaster gordian knot of fucked up and devotion and overwhelming feels that reducing it to whether or not they're fucking seems ??? kinda pointless to me??? because they're each other's whole world. They lived in each other's pockets for years and they shared a body for months. They are each other's whole universe and decided to fuse their souls forever rather than letting one of them live on while the other died. They have SO MUCH going on; what does "platonic" even mean in this context?

tl;dr: I personally do read them as shippy. But also that's not even in my top 3 most noteworthy things about Camilla and Pal, because every facet of their relationship is so rich. I don't even see it as a question of "shippy", I just see it as "it's impossible to disentangle them from one another." They're just. THE MOST complete package. Absolutely completely life partners. Deeply fucked up and they wouldn't have it any other way

(On that note, when I see posts about how the Sixth House have therapy, I think... they absolutely do not. Just because Camilla knows how to do breathing exercises it doesn't mean they are in any way well-adjusted. When Pyrrha Dvue tells you to dial it back, you know you have an issue!

Anyway. Nobody is well-adjusted in this series. Love that for them)

[jrueships]

Never saw how sexy lou dort was until you drew him like that. Now I want him pregnant. I blame you.

iT AiNT MUCH BUT IT'S AN ONEST WORK, ANON 🫡‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

[faggyv4mpire]

mr toro knows how to slay

[potatobugz]

i think the majority of the fanfiction ideas i have r always generally "character i like gets a redemption arc" or something similar. i like putting those guys in situations & i like giving them Friens:)

[derpinette]

morally i am against bras but i cannot commit because the moment i feel any type of movement against my nips i feel like lopping my entire breast off Skoptsy style

[pentacass]

ves (+ lana) pic spam 22/oh no

[running-in-the-dark]

I still don't get this stuff, so, I've got a question: do most allosexuals find random people attractive? and does that mean they look at them and think 'I want to have sex with that person'? not just 'that person is very beautiful' or whatever? like if there's a group of people that are their type or whatever, they might think all of them are. idk, interesting in that way?

and how about thinking about people romantically? I don't get how you would know the difference, and, ugh I'm just so confused and stupid and I'm gonna shut up now

[theygender]

Bruh I've known for years that I have visual processing issues (separate from my actual vision problems) but I never really looked into the specifics of how it works before. I know sometimes, especially when my brain is tired, I have trouble making sense of shapes and separating the foreground of images from the background. So I can see the image perfectly fine but I can't make out what it is, even if it's something that should be very obvious like a singer crouching at the edge of a stage (actual example). Those moments are a lot like auditory processing issues, where you can technically hear what someone is saying just fine but your brain can't parse it into words. And when I'm having a lot of trouble with this sort of thing, image descriptions are helpful for me. I figured that was just what visual processing disorder was right?

Well now I'm reading more about it and it turns out that there are 8 different types of visual processing skills and VPD can affect any of them. The issues I just described would fall primarily under visual foreground issues bc it stems mainly from not being able to distinguish the foreground (singer) from the background (stage and audience). But it probably also involves some visual closure issues bc I have trouble figuring out what the full shape is if part of it is cut off (like if the singer is kneeling in such a way that not all of their limbs are fully visible), as well as form constancy issues bc I have trouble recognizing familiar shapes if they're in an unexpected position/context (singer kneeling close to the audience instead of standing on stage)

Reading more about form constancy has got me really mind blown actually. I have a lot of quirks that I always just attributed to autism/ADHD. I can't find objects in plain sight, for one thing, especially if they're in a different location than normal. I can set something down on a table right out in the open and almost immediately lose it if there's other objects nearby for it to "blend into." If I'm looking for something in a cabinet or the fridge or even just on a slightly crowded counter I have to ask my gf to remind me what color it is so I can just pick out the color, bc otherwise I can look forever and not find it. Even if I make a conscious effort to check each individual item, I can look right at it multiple times and still not process that it's the object I'm looking for. I have to make it a habit to always put things back in the exact same spot bc otherwise I can't see them. The other day I went to get a new roll of toilet paper from our toiletry shelf and I thought "damn, we're almost out, I better order some more." I didn't realize until I bought a new box and went to stack it on the shelf that there was already an entire new box right there, just slightly to the left. And this isn't even "tired brain" processing, this is my everyday normal

And apparently... that's all described as symptoms of form constancy issues? Like, some of the things optometrists warn parents to watch out for when determining if their child has VPD are "difficulty finding missing items quickly even if they are in plain sight" and "difficulty recognizing objects when placed in a new location"

Another issue I have is a ridiculous inability to orient myself, know my way around familiar places, or understand where I am in relation to other places. I still have to use GPS to get to shops near my home that I've been going to for years and I have no idea what direction anything is in. My gf and I once had some fun playing a game where we stood in our living room and she asked me to point in the directions of things like "the store across the street" and "the entrance to our apartment complex" and "the mailboxes" and "the dumpster by our building" and I was unable to get any of them correct. Part of it is bc even if I DO manage to memorize my way around somewhere it's just a single-line map telling me when to turn to get from point A to point B and it falls apart if I try to come at it from any other angle, and part of it is due to an inability to judge distances (I have taken the extreme long way around on multiple occasions bc I couldn't tell that "just around the corner of that side of the building" was a shorter distance than going around the opposite side of the building, circling around the back, and then coming in from the other direction)

...Turns out that another aspect of form constancy issues is "difficulty judging distances" and "difficulty picturing objects at different angles." Aaaand during this research I happened to stumble across a site with little baby games to help young kids with visual processing issues practice to improve their form constancy skills and uh. It's kinda kicking my ass 😭

I learned some FUN things about myself tonight lads

[hanzajesthanza]

am i allowed to give my witcher OCs and witcher characters with no canon design silly little hats…

maybe the answer is “not only allowed am i Allowed, but i am Compelled and even moreso—Required”

[idyllic-affections]

she is a xiao support also for new boy of the month gaming who also is plunging attacks i think she’s work it 🪻

🪻 anon has joined the evil voices spreading their temptation within my brain 💔💔💔💔 (it is working btw) /lh

[loveandscience]

!!!! !!!! omg, I feel so Seen

[guinevereslancelot]

is there anything worse than feeling like ur the only one putting any effort into all of your relationships. el oh el

[milkweedman]

Was going thru my drop spindle tag bc i wanted to see if i ever posted a picture of one of my favorite spindles, about which i remember absolutely nothing other than that i stepped on it on accident several years ago. RIP favorite drop spindle that has apparently been wholly lost in the massive and yet somehow totally empty archive of my brain

[perenlop]

Was about to go “Hm I should make proper family headcanons for my PMD canon partners” But remembered that two of them have established history in canon already and the third is my Shinx partner who I default to “They were part of the Luxio Tribe” for. So really Chip is the only one I can just make up a family for djfjfjfng