#i refuse to believe alison would like. Hate them

[marc--chilton]

hello sending an ask bc i cant reply from my saw blog somehow but regarding your last post yeS IT’s what drove me crazy about your fic it lives in my head rent free!!!!!

the wind is howling outside. is that you. oh my god i asked that and it stopped don't be embarrassed i love that

[marauders-slytherin-whore]

Hes gone

Summary- yn potters boyfriend (cedric diggory)dies and she dosent handle it well.

♡♤♡♤♡

Yn Potter was, of course, just as famous as her brother, maybe even a little more. It was no secret that everyone fancied the beautiful girl.

But everyone knew that her heart was already claimed by the one and only cedric diggory. The two of them had been together since the 2nd year and still going strong even tho they thought it wouldn't be anything important as they were both young.

Even tho they were two years apart it didn't stop them from falling more and more in love with each other everyday.

Even snape couldn't bring himself to hate the relationship between them, the relationship didn't just bring happiness to themselves but to everyone around them they were simply made for eachother nothing could ever come between the two.

The two would always be seen walking in the halls with each other as yn happily spoke about anything and everything on her mind, and Cedric simply let her, smiling as he looked at her with adoration and love.

They would hold each other tightly when they were scared of what the future held in front of them.

In the free time, they'd play in the yard playfully, tackling each other and laughing as they put fruit in each other's mouth.

Cedric had even memorised every Taylor swift song just so he could impress yn and sing her, her favourite songs.

When they argued, it never lasted longer than a day before they apologised and were back to how they were like, nothing had happened.

Their relationship was perfect. You couldn't describe it as anything over than perfect.

It was now the last stage of the triwizard tournament, and yn was wearing a gryffindor jumper and a hufflepuff scarf to support her twin brother and boyfriend.

"Who are you hoping to win, your twin or your boyfriend?" A girl spoke From next to where yn stood with hermiome and Ron.

"I don't really mind who wins as long as they are both ok im happy." Yn spoke with a kind smile waving at Cedric as he blew her a kiss.

She laughed a little, taking a photo of him and Harry on her polariod as he smiled at her happiness.

Cedric ran up to the stands and kissed yn whispering how he loved her before going back to stand in line waiting for the tournament to start.

-----harrys pov------------

I looked down at Cedric lifeless body crying ad I remembered they events that had just happened.

Voldemort had killed cedric and attempted to do the same to me, except my parents and cedrics spirit had helped me win against him.

I remember the last words out of Cedric mouth crystal clear.

"Bring my body back to my father and yn, please keep her safe for me and tell her I love her more than word could ever tell her"

I grabbed his body and the port key and was taken back where everyone was waiting.

------------

Harry had arrived, and everyone cheered for him, but something wasn't right.

Cedric wasn't moving and Harry was clinging to his body with tears streaming down his face as he met my eyes mouthing that he was sorry.

Thats when I noticed how cold his body looked I stood up and ran over to where he was dropping to my knees screaming in distraught as his father joined crying in just as much pain as I was, we both cried while hugging his lifeless body.

His father stood up as dumbledore helped him up and escorted him away from the scene trying to do the same to me.

"No, please baby, please don't leave me, please don't leave me," I whispered over and over again into his shoulder.

Harry came over and hugged me from behind as I refused to let him go, not wanting to believe he was actually gone.

"I couldn't save him yn im sorry voldemort killed him to get to me im sorry I couldn't help I tried". Harry cried, trying his best to comfort me while telling me what had happened.

The news had only made me cry more, My boyfriend was murdered the same exact way my parents were murdered.

The grounds were cleared with only mcgonagall, snape, dumbledore, and Harry trying to coax me away from him gently.

Snape leaned down to my level, sympathy in his eyes. I had never seen any emotion except hate in his eyes when looking at me.

"Come on, yn, it's time to let him go," he whispered gently as he would break me if he spoke any louder.

Mcgonagall had pulled snape away and knelt down in front of me gently, grabbing me, pulling me away from the body sitting on the ground with me holding me tightly as the others covered cedrics body.

I grabbed her robes tightly, crying into them as she stroked my hair gently.

"His gone, Minnie, he's really gone, I can't live without him. I just can't please tell me it's not real"

"Im sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry," she spoke, cradling me gently.

"Come on dear lets go back to the common room and get warm" she spoke standing up and leading me to the gryffindor common room as I curled up into my bed clinging to a photo of Cedric, breaking down as she left the room to give me my space.

-------------

Mcgonagall made her way to dumbledores office where snape and dumbledore himself were waiting for an update on the girl.

"How is she?" Snape asked eagerly, voice filled with concern as soon as mcgonagall had entered the room.

"Broken, she's absolutely shattered," she spoke quietly, trying not to cry as she remembered the look on the girls face when she climbed into bed and saw a picture of the two.

They all looked to the ground, not knowing what to say about the events of the night before leaving and going back to their houses.

The day after his funeral, it was classes, and yn hadn't shown up to any classes. The teachers had noticed but left her to herself to grieve.

Instead, the girl spent her time in her room drinking till she passed out and smoked till she couldn't walk. It was the only way she knew how to numb the pain.

She had also begun cutting herself, blaming herself for every little thing that had ever happened.

She was slowly killing herself and wasn't making an effort to stop.

-----------

Mcgonagall and snape had decided that they should go and check up on the girl as she hadn't left the rooms since the incident.

When they entered the room, they hadn't expected what they saw.

The room was trashed cupboards were smashed and things were thrown on the floor, the floor was littered in empty alcohol bottles, empty pipe bottles, and burnt out cigarettes.

But there was no sign of yn.

But the bathroom door was slightly cracked open, making the professors think that's where she was.

Before they could walk to the door, Harry entered the room, witnessing the state it was in with the same shocked expression that mcgonagall and snape previously had shown before it changed into sorrow.

Harry walked to the door before knocking and not gaining any reply. He cautiously opened the door a little before gasping and running in.

Mcgonagall and snape followed his steps before laying their eyes on what harry had opened the door on.

They ran to the girls' side, trying to wake her, but it was pointless.

She was already gone.

-------------

Today was the day that the pain would finally end, I had decided it was time to finally let go and go somewhere peaceful.

Somewhere where I would meet my parents and finally be reunited with Cedric.

It had taken a lot of thought about not wanting to leave Harry behind, but I knew he'd be ok with his friends, and I'd still be with him just ad a spirit, though.

I grabbed my blade and pills, sitting down against the bathroom wall, writing a letter to whoever found me so that they had some sort of goodbye from me.

"Dear everyone,

Let's start with the most important person, harry, please dont dwell on it too much I know that this isn't the best way to go but I have no choice, we all know that staying here I would just continue destroying myself more and more everyday, so I want you to know that I am now in a better place with our parents and Cedric, and until the day that you die by old age I'll promise to watch after you everyday, im not saying don't be sad I mean of course you'll be sad im not they're to annoy you with my Taylor swift karaoke anymore, more along dont take this as a tragic suicide, take this as me finally meeting peace that we both know I needed, im not really gone I'll still show up randomly as a ghost and help you kill voldemort and embarrass you with karaoke in the great hall with nearly headless nick, so this isn't goodbye it's a I'll see you in heaven when you're old and wrinkly and I'll see ya around hogwarts when I randomly visit i love you hazza, and Minnie same goes for you I'll still continue to show up and gossip about all the people in the afterlife, and thank you, thank you for being my parental figure when I had no one else I love you minnie, snape and dumbledore I may not be your biggest fan nor are you mine but I'm still gonna say a partial goodbye even though you'll both soon be up here with me since your both extremely old anyways moving on again, to all the other professors that have taught me, thank you that's all ive gotta say is thank you and see ya soon, now for my friends I love all of you dearly and don't think you've finally escaped me, and Ron and hermione if you two don't hurry up and admit you love eachother I'll haunt you while you sleep, and to every other student in hogwarts heres a piece of advice just do what your scared of because if you don't you'll end up living with what ifs instead of im happy I did that, anyways thats all I've got for all of you just one more thing make sure you play the most out of pocket songs at my funeral, that's all so bye for now".

Love yn."

I placed the paper beside me before opening the bottle and taking a handful.

And finally, the darkness overtook me, and I smiled, feeling a sense of peace wash over me.

-----------------‐--

It was my sisters funeral today as I read out the letter she left a few laughs were shared along with some cries from the people who really knew her as I finished the letter I looked up at the sky saying a goodbye to her even though i knew it wasn't really goodbye.

We planted her beside Cedric, decorating the graves with photos with both of them and special things that belonged to the two.

I silently cried with Ron and hermiome but also smiling, knowing that she was finally at peace.

----------------

As I entered the white gates of heaven I couldn't help but laugh at how cliche it all was but that's when I noticed them standing there waiting for me.

My parents, they ran over to me, embracing me in a hug filled with tears and laughter.

We pulled away as my father grabbed my face and kissed my forehead.

"Hey sweetheart, welcome home," he said as Mum smiled, pushing the hair out of my face to look at me properly.

"Mum, dad, God, I've missed you," I spoke, and they smiled, holding my hand.

"We missed you two, sweetie, but first look behind you," they smiled as i turned around confused only to see him standing there.

"Couldn't stay away could you love" Cedric laughed smiling as I ran over to him jumping into his arms embracing him tightly, he held me laughing a little while slowly lowering me back down to the ground.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, and he wrapped his around waist, pulling me in and kissing me softly.

"I love you," we both whispered in sync, hugging each other tightly.

My parents joined the hug after a while as we all smiled happily.

I was finally at peace.

[candeg]

Friendship between Allison and Andrew.

Allison is friends with Neil, but she never spoke to Andrew after he attacked her for hitting Aaron. Although she understood why he did that and Katelyn told her about the treatment the brothers had.

But like anyone else, she prefers not to talk to him.

Neil's birthday is coming up. The foxes are preparing a surprise for you, something simple, pizza and alcohol.

It's the morning before his birthday, so Nicky asks Neil to go with him to buy new clothes (he doesn't want to, but Nicky insists too much), so that the rest of the foxes can prepare everything. They take Andrew's car.

Andrew ordered the cake. A message came from the bakery, your order was ready. He needed his car, but Neil had him.

Matt had gone to buy drinks, the only person with a car was Allison.

He explained that he needed the car, but she refused to loan him it. Allison offered to drive him, Andrew hesitated for a few seconds, but it is for Neil and he wasn't going to walk downtown, so he agreed.

The journey was silent. Allison put on the radio so that the moment is not so awkward. From the radio came a female voice talking about the life of a famous person and criticizing a lot. Allison went to turn off the radio. "I hate these shows where they just talk about other people's lives. As if they know them." She sounded angry, as if she had ever experienced something similar. "They talked about Kevin last week, can you believe it? Some idiot said he betrayed the raven." Andrew didn't expect that reaction from Allison, he didn't expect her to get mad because someone was badmouthing Kevin. Neil had told him that she would always side with the foxes, without exception, but Andrew didn't have much faith in that.

Maybe Alison hadn't had such a perfect life.

She parked a block from the bakery. They walked in silence. Someone yelled at Allison "nice ass!" and worse things. They were a bunch of drunk guys on the next block. She endured the first few words, but the next were too much. He went to the group of boys and hit the boy. The rest started laughing "bro, you got hit by a girl", that made Allison more furious. She try to control herself, is very strong, but they were many. But one hit her on the butt.

Andrew didn't want to interfere. He knows how strong Allison is. But seeing the scene, he couldn't stop thinking of himself saying "please stop." He ran out and pulled out a knife. "I'm sorry brother, we didn't know it was your girlfriend" and they ran away. "If you ever lay a hand on me again, I swear I'll cut off each and every one of you jugular!".

"I can't believe it, they only left because they thought you were my boyfriend!" She has a lot of helplessness and a little fear, street harassment is something that always terrified her. "And because I have a knife" said Andrew. "Thanks. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here." Suddenly, that thought terrified her "oh my god, Andrew, what if they did something else? What if I never came home?" she sat on the sidewalk and started crying "seriously, thanks Andrew." They were silent for a few minutes while Allison recovered.

The next day, Andrew and Neil talked about Allison and what happened yesterday. Andrew's muscles were tense, that situation brought back many memories. Neil calmed him down.

From there, he began to get closer to Allison. He wanted to accompany her everywhere, he was afraid something would happen to her.

He realized that they have things in common. Allison knew a lot about cars and praised Andrew's clothes.

Allison painted his nails black. And Andrew loved Kevin's disapproving face (he was envious, if he did that, the press would criticize him) and he also loved that Neil couldn't stop looking at him.

Everyone was amazed at their friendship. Except for Renee, she knows them very well.

I hope you liked it 💛. And please, if you are one of those who says "compliments" to women as they walk down the street, let me tell you that you are the problem.

[teacherunicorn]

Delores Theadosia Hargreeves

Chapter Fifteen

Italics = memories

@tomisbaeholland

A/N: I am aware of Elliot Page coming out as transgender and am fully supportive of it. With the future of his character still in the wind however, I will be using she/her pronouns for Vanya for my writings at least for the time being. If rumors are true and the character will be transitioning as well, I will wrap it into my story accordingly. For now, I'm just following the plot of season one.

Diego was one of two Hargreeves children left in the city, and was the first to arrive back at the manor. The place had always been too big for comfort, but it still seemed strange seeing it so empty.

Not for the first time, he wondered what Delores' life here had been like before they'd come into it.

Traditionally, boxing was a more serious sport. The kind that attracted harsher people, under the counter bets and the like. Then again, Delores Theadoisa Hargreeves had never been traditional.

She stood just outside the fighting ring jumping up and down, and waving a handmade sign over her head. "Go Diego! Boo everyone else!"

Diego's opponent of the night; a burly man with full sleeve tattoos, looked between him and the tiny blonde.

"Your girl's got a lotta faith in ya."

Diego smiled but didn't drop his guard. "Wouldn't wanna disappoint." he said before throwing a heavy right hook into the man's jaw.

“Diego my boy.” Pogo’s voice broke him from his memories. “Good to see you.”

“Hey Pogo.” Diego smiled and hugged the chimp. “Anyone else turn up yet?”

“You are the first, but I expect your siblings shall be along shortly.”

“Delores?”

“The news got to her rather late, but she assured me she’d be on the first available plane.” Pogo informed. “Till then, she’s tasked me with keeping the rest of you in line.”

Number Two laughed. “Yeah, good luck.”

******

Next to arrive was Alison. Getting the news about Reginald’s death via paparazzi hadn’t been pretty, and frankly if it hadn’t gone down that way she probably wouldn’t have come. She had enough of her plate as it was.

“Onward to desert!” Delores ran across the large backyard, a then one year old Claire ridding piggyback. Patrick, who had been manning the grill for the barbecue, laughed and held the package of oreos over their heads. He was taller than Delores, so even with Claire on her back they couldn’t reach them.

Things had been a lot simpler when ‘Gammy Lori’ could be called any hour of the day. Having raised seven kids, Delores was much more capable of dealing with Claire than Alison was. It was hard sometimes not to take advantage of that.

It was even harder to stand by the lessons Delores had taught her and not take the easy way out.

“I want Gammy Lori!” a three year old Claire whined.

“Gammy Lori is working sweetie. She’s in Pennsylvania.”

“Where’s that?”

“A really long way away.”

“Can we go get her?”

“No, we can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s busy.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s very smart and works with smart people.”

“Why?”

“I heard a rumor that you stopped whining.”

******

Klaus tumbled in through one of the back doors and was immediately skimming the place for valuables.

"Really?" Ben's spirit said over his shoulder. "Didn't you tell Dede you'd keep at least a two month period between troubles with the law?"

"Hey, it's not like the old man is around to report anything stolen anymore. "God knows DT isn't gonna miss any of it; she hates this gaudy shit."

Every remaining member of the Umbrella Academy had a key to Delores' condo in the city. As such, it wasn't uncommon for her to come home to find one of them on her couch.

It was usually Klaus.

Number Four groaned as he blinked back to consciousness. His blurry vision focused in on the figure sitting on the coffee table. "Oh, hey DT. How long have you been here?"

"Couple hours. I came to check if you were alive again. You've been kinda in and out." While she didn't approve of Klaus' drug habits, Delores was the only one -- apart from Ben -- who understood why he had them.

"I didn't say anything stupid, did I?"

"You don't need drugs for that, Klausy."

"She's right, you know." Ben chimed from where he leaned against the couch's armrest.

Klaus threw a glare at the spirit over his shoulder before turning back to his caretaker. "Sorry, shady asshole must've mixed something in with the product. It's usually not that heavy...."

"Haven't I told you stay away from those types?"

"Com'on DT, I am one of those types!"

"Those are the rock bottom types that end up in a ditch somewhere." Delores flicked him in the head, making him wince as she rattled his hangover.

"Thank you!" Ben exclaimed.

"The type that don't have their big sister to push them into rehab. Speaking of, didn't you just get out of it like a week ago?" She continued, unaware that Number Six was even there.

"Maybe...." Klaus muttered. "But I'm not really the cold turkey type; you know that."

"There has to be something better." Delores sighed. "If you would stick around for more than a few days sleeping off a bender, you and I could figure it out! I've been riddling out your powers since you were born."

"No." Klaus said firmly. "Alright, I may be a deadbeat addict, but you are the one person who I refuse to mooch off of."

"Klausy --"

"Klaus --"

"Non!" He cut off both of them. "It took you way to long to get out from under dad's ass. You've finally got a life for yourself! Majority rules; you were out voted. No more mother henning!"

*******

Having the furthest to travel, it wasn't surprising that Luther arrived late to the mansion.

He had been the last of the Umbrella Academy, chasing the heroics dream Reginald kept feeding him. He and Delores had gotten into more than one argument regarding this, but she had always been there when he really needed her, wether she was angry with him or not.

Unfortunately, he had been out voted and she had left too.

Logically he knew it was good for her. She sounded so much happier on the phone than she had living here. The stubborn part of him that believed in the Academy's roles however knew her place was with them, even if they weren't kids anymore.

Delores hadn't been informed of his mission gone awry; his near death experience, what had brought him back, and the side effects of it. Reginald had done something or another to keep that out of the media, and Luther himself certainly wasn't looking to tell her.

The real kicker had been the moon mission. Reginald had sprung it on him so suddenly that he hadn't had the chance to call Delores beforehand.

He stood hunched in the doorway of her old room, eyes drifting over the relics she had left behind. Since Delores traveled so much, she hadn't taken everything with her when she first left. The majority of her things were now in her condo in the city, but there were still a few dusty pictures on the walls.

Moving forward caused his fingers to brush against the scritches on the doorway. Carved into the wood with one of Diego's knives were a series of dashes and dates marking the life of the Umbrella Academy.

Luther strained to stretch as straight as he could, resisting the urge to get on his tiptoes. He'd tried sneaking that past Delores and she'd smacked his head with the ruler.

The flat of a blade cut into the wood behind him and he immediately jumped forward to see her scratching the day's date next to it with a practiced hand.

"So?" He asked eagerly.

"Hmm." Delores held the ruler between an older mark and the mark she'd just made. "One and a half inches."

"Yes! I'm still the tallest!"

"Second tallest." Delores said, leaning her elbow atop his head.

"I told you to stop doing that!" He swatted at her, taking a step back to be out of reach.

"But you make such a good armrest!"

"Just you wait Dee; some day I'm gonna be even taller than you and you'll be the armrest!"

"Whatever you say squirt."

*******

Hesitant to come at all, Vanya was the last of the siblings to walk through the front door.

Ever quiet as a mouse, she stepped into the entry hall in near silence. Her sister was less so however.

"Vanya." Alison said in surprise as she came through the doorway of the living room. "You came."

"Hey Allison." Vanya smiled and accepted the hug offered to her.

Her flicker of confidence evaporated when Diego walked through the room and glared at her. "What's she doing here? You don't belong here, not after what you did."

"Diego now is not the time for fighting. And way to dress for the occasion by the way!" Alison called to his retreating back.

"At least I'm wearing black!"

"H-He's right, I shouldn't be here..." Vanya shook her head, wondering why she'd bothered. It wasn't like Delores would leave the country again without coming to see her -- she was the only family member who was still talking to her after all.

"No, hey." Alison cut her off. "I want you here."

The smile Vanya gave her sister was small and somewhat forced. The sentiment was kind, but patronizing. Everyone had been mad at her after her book had been published; even Delores.

Vanya unlocked her apartment door and jumped out of her skin at the sight of Delores sitting on her couch. She shouldn't be surprised at this point really, the older woman had mad it a habit since she'd been given a key.

"You should have locks on your windows." the caretaker commented idly.

"I live on the second floor."

"Rapist can climb."

"You are so weird." Vanya shook her head as she locked the door behind her.

"Oh now that's a simpleton word. You got much more creative as I recall. What was it? Apathetic, obtuse, and desperate to keep control?"

"M-my editor didn't like me making you a good guy when everyone else --"

"Oh will get to everyone else; you had no right to say what you did about them either. Airing out the dirty laundry for all to see....I'm really disappointed in you, Vanya."

*******

Vanya was the last of the Hargreeves siblings to walk through the front door, but certainly not the last to arrive.

After a very tense conversation about their father's death -- Luther was convinced it was murder, and while he didn't accuse anyone outright it was clear he didn't put it past them.

Everyone had split off to different areas of the house, and Luther thumbed through the records on the shelf in his room. The group really didn't do well as a group without Delores, but maybe he could at least minimize the hostility while they waited for her.

Finding the one he was looking for, he set it onto the player and turned the volume up as high as it would go. Soon enough, Delores' favorite song was echoing through the manor halls.

I think we're alone now

There doesn't seem to be anyone around

I think we're alone now

Alone now

The beating of our hearts is the onl-

The music was cut off rather abruptly as the walls and floor began to shake. Everything metallic went flying, and a large wave of something was glowing a familiar blue color in the backyard.

Next

[ingu]

These TUA prompt drabbles you're doing are amazing. If you're up for more, how about “Is there anything you won’t do to get what you want?” and “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

[Warning for period-typical racism affecting Allison in this fill.]

The expression on Allison’s face when she walked into the hospital room was almost enough to make Five instantly regret the phone call.

He knew he didn’t make a pretty sight, laid up in bed dressed in a hospital gown, an IV plugged into his arm. The doctors and the police officer had had far too many questions about where his injuries had come from. And the easiest way to get out of answering had been for him to play the scared kid and demand for them to call his family.

Though now that his family was here, Five found he didn’t enjoy the look of shock and worry that crossed his sister’s face in the slightest.

“Five!” Allison gasped, eyes wide as she rushed to his bedside. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Five said, pushing himself up, wincing as the movement tugged at his injuries. “I need you to get me out of here.”

“What happened to you?” Allison insisted. “Why didn’t you call me sooner? How long have you been here?”

This was the other thing he had been dreading, the questions. Frustration flared.

“Allison, if it helps, I didn’t want to call you at all,” Five said, reaching out his hand. “Now give me your coat, and the scarf.” He had no idea where they’d put his clothes and he had to hide the gown somehow when they left.

If Five could reliably walk on his own he’d already be out of here, but even getting out of bed was a problem at the moment with the painkillers in his system. His powers were refusing to cooperate and he needed someone to get him out before the entire nightmare would drag on any longer.

“Oh for the love of-” Allison sighed, the worry on her face hardening into a glare. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get in here? Looking like this?” She gestured at her face aggressively.

Right, segregation. “Considering your powers I didn’t think it’d be a problem.”

“I’m trying to not rely on it anymore, Five. Anyway, what happened to you?” Allison insisted, making no move to acquiesce to Five’s demands. “Why are you in hospital? Answer the question.”

Five, arm still outstretched, was starting to see the lack of wisdom in antagonizing the one person he was relying on to rescue him.

Five sighed, closing his eyes briefly as he lowered his arm. “Fine, I passed out in the street, okay? Someone brought me to the hospital when they saw the blood and injuries… and then they wouldn’t let me leave.”

“What?” Shock shifted back into concern on Allison’s face, and she looked down at Five’s body, raising an arm as though she wanted to check him over. “You passed out? What injuries? Who hurt you?”

Five’s first instinct was to refuse to answer, but that was probably equally pointless since Allison could easily get it out of the doctor. Was Five ever going to live this down? Most likely not. 

“Just some bruising and scrapes, and the old shrapnel wound was bleeding again,” Five said. The doctors had also made some comment about malnourishment and exhaustion, but Allison didn’t need to know about that. Five was pretty sure he’d be fine.

“Shrapnel?” Confusion, then understanding, crossed Allison’s face in rapid succession. “Five, how long have you been in the 60s?”

Five raised an eyebrow. “Four? Five days?”

Allison’s eyes widened, and then she rubbed at her temples. “Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It’s not like I was hiding it,” Five said. “You guys never asked. Now give me your clothes. We need to get out of here before the nurse comes back.”

Five really didn’t want to find out if social services was already a thing in 1963, because he knew what all of it looked like right now. There were only so many conclusions a person could reach when they found what looked like an injured runaway passed out in the street.

Allison narrowed her eyes at him, before she sighed, clearly recognizing that Five was right, and started stripping off her coat and scarf. Five carefully removed his IV as she did, and then pulled the coat over his gown, before wrapping the scarf around his neck to hide the rest of it.

“Uh,” Allison looked over him. “Where are your shoes?”

Five shrugged, staring down at his toes. He’d sort of forgotten about shoes. He was going to blame it on the drugs.

“Okay, you look ridiculous,” Alison said as she looked over him, her face twisting with almost a smile. “I’m just going to ask them to give me your clothes.”

“Excuse me, who are you? How did you get in here?” 

A soft female voice suddenly piped up from the doorway, both Allison and Five looked over with wide eyes to find a middle-aged nurse staring at them both. There was a polite smile on her face that masked her clear suspicion very poorly.

They must paint quite a picture for her. A ‘strange’ black woman standing over a young white boy in a white hospital. 

Five really hated the sixties.

“I am…” Allison hesitated, an equally polite smile frozen on her face. “His babysitter.”

She smiled sweetly at the nurse, every bit of the award winning actress she was known to be.

Five grit his teeth, and did his best to smile and nod. Allison’s explanation was practical, even if it was annoying, and Allison’s expression told him she knew how much Five hated it.

“Mr and Mrs Hargreeves hired me to take care of him and his siblings while they’re out of town on vacation,” Allison smiled even harder. “He got bullied by his older brothers and ran away. I’m so glad someone found him.” 

Five watched the nurse’s expression, his heart sinking when he saw her expression grow cold. She wasn’t buying it at all.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Allison continued, exuding gratitude and relief. “I’ll be able to take him home to his family now.”

“Well.” The nurse’s face drooped with disapproval. “You’ve certainly done an excellent job watching this child. If you would give me his parents’ contact details, I will be reporting to them what you’ve done to him.”

Five sighed internally as Allison’s smile froze on her face. This was why he wanted to leave sooner rather than later. Maybe he should have called Luther instead of counting on Allison’s power to get them both out without incident. Of all the times for her sister to go through some sort of moral crisis about her power, she had to pick the 1960s.

Though Five supposed Allison hadn’t picked it, Five was the one who had stranded her here. Fuck. He had no idea how to even begin making up for the shit she must have gone through because of him.

“And don’t think I’m going to let this boy go with you after what you’ve clearly done to him.” The nurse continued, rambling in her self-righteous rage. “You’re the one who beat this poor boy, aren’t you? He is half starved, look at how skinny he is! I bet you haven’t fed him properly in days. I’ve always known that your people couldn’t be trusted with looking after our children, you-”

The moment the slurs started coming out, Five decided it was enough.

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Five said suddenly, cutting off the woman’s tirade before it could get any more abusive.

Allison’s was shaking with rage next to him, her hands clenched into fists. She looked about ready to punch the woman herself. 

Five was tempted to do it for her, at this point. Calling Allison had definitely been a mistake. What a way to fuck up on top of passing out in the damn street.

The nurse started at Five’s interjection, and glared at him in outrage. “Excuse me, young man. I am tr-”

That was it. Five hopped off of the bed and then immediately crumpled as his legs refused to take his weight.

“Five!” Allison and the nurse rushed forward at the same time. Allison, who was closest, caught Five before he could end up completely sprawled across the floor. 

The nurse closed the distance between them rapidly, then started trying to pull Allison away as even more hate spewed from her mouth.

Pulling on all of his strength, Five threw himself forward and punched her to shut her up.

“Five!” Allison shouted, her arms wrapping around Five as the nurse reeled back with a cry of pain.

Dammit. Five was still too weak from whatever the hell it was they gave him to knock the woman out. Five refused to believe it was just a matter of exhaustion.

Five kicked the woman in the shins.

The nurse stumbled back, shouting.

“Five what are you-” Allison fumbled awkwardly, trying to pull him back from the racist nurse.

“Just let me go-” Five lunged forward, fighting Allison as her arms tightened around his frame.

“I-I heard-” Allison stammered. “I heard a rumor that you forgot everything that just happened and think everything’s fine!”

The nurse’s eyes flashed white, and then confusion fell across her face as she stared at both of them in surprise.

Five relaxed in Allison’s arms, and cautiously watched the woman.

Beside him, Allison smiled nervously, and spoke again before the nurse in front of them could come to the wrong conclusion. “I heard a rumor that you completely trust me with this boy and have no problems with me taking him home. And that you will bring me his clothes.”

The woman’s eyes flashed white again as Allison’s power took hold. Then, a friendly smile unfolded over her face.

“Well, it’s so good that you’re here to pick him up. Let me go get his clothes so you can take him home,” the woman said gently, before she turned and walked out of the room, still smiling.

“Finally,” Five sagged in Allison’s arms the moment they were alone again. “You should have just done that from the start.” 

“Five-” Allison sighed, though strangely enough, her arms tightened even more around him. “Is there anything you won’t do to get what you want?” 

“Of course,” Five answered without missing a beat. “It just happens that beating up some racist asshole isn’t on the list.”

A tremor went through Allison behind him, and then, weirdly enough, she started shaking with laughter. 

Five, feeling guilty for being the reason she’d just gone through the abuse, stood there and let her get it out of her system.

“God, I hate the past so much,” Allison mumbled after a moment, her arms loosening around Five. “Think you can stand?”

“I’ll be okay,” Five said quietly, carefully balancing himself. “Just give me your arm on the way out.”

“Alright,” Allison said, watching him with an uncomfortably soft smile on her face.

“And… sorry about that,” Five said. He’d underestimated just how messed up the period was when he decided to call her. “I won’t let it happen again.”

He was going to get her out of this time and back to 2019. That and also make sure he didn’t pass out again.

“Well,” Allison said, eyes gentle as she considered him. “You can make it up to me by buying me lunch.”

“Fine,” Five said, hoping his money would still be in his pockets when his clothes showed up again. “You can even choose where.”

Though, all things considered, pickpocketing some random so he could feed Allison was something Five was definitely willing to do.

“Getting you into a black diner is going to take a bit of explaining, though,” Allison murmured beside him suddenly.

Five sighed. He couldn’t wait to get back to 2019.

[itsallavengers]

hhhhh number 10 with harley and tony?

Harley stared numbly down at the freshly engraved tombstone, the words circling around and around in his head like a broken record. Here lies Alison Keener. 1968 - 2017. Forever in our hearts. There was a bit about her being a loving mother on there too, but he wasn’t looking at that bit. It wasn’t true. 

He felt like he was in some sort of dream.

The wind picked up a little and he shivered, wishing he’d worn a thicker coat. Tennessee winters were unforgiving; his mother’s December death proved that much. It wasn’t surprising though- the liver disease, the kidney problems, the chainsmoking and the heavy drinking had all pushed her toward an early grave, and then the cold snap this year had probably been the final nudge that sent her over the edge. Heart attack. Harley had been at school. Hadn’t found her until her body had gone cold. 

He wished he cared more about it, but he just didn’t. She hadn’t loved him. They hadn’t spoken in weeks by the time she’d died, even though they lived in the same house. And even when they did talk, it was mostly just to argue. The longest interaction they’d had since summer had been Harley screaming at her because she’d spent all their rent money on the slot machines. 

He was looking at her grave and he felt nothing but an ache of regret. That was what upset him most, he thought. He was 17, and he knew that he wasn’t even going to miss his own mother. 

A few moments passed in which he continued to stare at the frosty earth, and then he felt a hand settle on his shoulder, a contrasting warmth against the cold. Tony’s fingers squeezed, and he stepped closer until their arms were bumping. He’d been with Harley ever since the news of his mom’s death had broken, helping arrange the funeral so that Harley didn’t have to, keeping him company, watching out for him. And tomorrow, Harley was going to be flying to New York and taking up a room in the tower, where he would have to start up his new life. He thought he should probably have some opinions on that, be it positive or negative. But he didn’t. He couldn’t find it in himself to.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Tony said quietly, looking sideways and nodding his head. There was an understanding in his eyes that led Harley to believe he’d been in this situation before. “I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy- you’ll probably start coming to terms with everything soon, and trying to process it all will be a nightmare- but it’s gonna be okay.”

Harley nodded. “I know.”

“And like I said, you can leave the tower, or New York, whenever you want, and I’ll help you get on your feet in your own place if you decide that’s what’s best for you. Staying with me doesn’t have to be permanent.”

“I know.”

Tony paused, his eyes flicking down to the grave. He’d never met Alison Keener. But Harley could see in his tight expression that Tony was glad of that. Harley’s stories about her had never put her in a very good light. But still. She’d been Harley’s mom. And she had cared, once. In the beginning.

“I hated her,” Harley said, his voice flat, “I hated her and I wanted to get out of the house, the whole state, for years. But now she’s gone, and all I can feel is... I dunno. Regret, I think.”

“You’re mourning the parent that you never had,” Tony replied, soft, “you’re missing something that never existed. It hurts more when it doesn’t hurt, because then you have to think about why that is.” A small pause. “I grieved, when my parents died. For months. But it wasn’t because I missed them. It was because I didn’t.”

Harley sniffed, tightening his shoulders against the unforgiving wind. He glanced over to Tony. “I have no idea what to do now,” he whispered, hating the words. Tony didn’t need to hear this. In all honesty, Harley didn’t know why Tony even cared this much. He was just a rude little kid who’d latched on to the superhero and then refused to let go for 7 years. Tony Stark should have gotten sick of him a long time ago.

Yet here he was.

Harley realised his eyes were starting to go blurry with tears at the same time Tony did, and wordlessly, the hand on his shoulder slid around and pulled him into a tight embrace. Tony was wearing an expensive wool coat that kept out the cold, and Harley sunk into it. He couldn’t help it. Tony was the only person who’d been hugging him for years now. And it just felt nice to be vulnerable, in those few seconds where his face was hidden from view.

“Whatever happens,” Tony told him as he squeezed his arms tight around Harley’s shoulders, “I’m right here, okay? That’s a promise.”

Harley nodded shakily, staying quiet for a few moments before he asked quietly, “Do I get to be an Avenger now?”

“No.”

“But everyone else who lives in the tower is an Avenger.”

“They’re also all legal adults with years of training and/or superpowers.”

“I’ve been using that potato gun to improve my aim since I was ten. I could give Hawkeye a run for his money, I think.”

Tony pulled away, smiling exasperatedly as he wiped a tear off Harley’s cheek. “Don’t count on it,” he said, before he moved his hand and waved it behind him. “Do you want to stay for a little longer, or are you ready to go? We can get takeout for dinner if you want. Your choice.”

Harley swallowed and looked back to the grave again, just for a few seconds. In all honesty, he’d wanted to leave as soon as the funeral had started. But it wasn’t the done thing. Now, though, Tony was offering him an out- in more ways than one. 

Harley was taking it. “Yeah,” he nodded slowly, running a hand over his face, “let’s get out of here.”

[abigailnussbaum]

The Umbrella Academy, S2

I was pretty underwhelmed by the first season of The Umbrella Academy, and if it weren’t high summer with hardly any new TV to be seen, I might not have bothered with the second one. But to my surprise, season 2 of The Umbrella Academy is a massive - and, to my eyes, deliberate - improvement on the first. It’s not great TV by any stretch, but it’s engaging and fun to watch, and you find yourself caring about the characters and wanting to follow along with their story, all things that the dour first season failed to achieve.

My fundamental problem with the first season of The Umbrella Academy is that the show failed to convince me that its core family was worth saving. The basic premise of the show - seven superpowered children raised by an abusive tyrant who saw them purely as instruments to be deployed, and played psychological games intended to grind down their independence and prevent any chance of their feeling a stronger loyalty to one another than to him - is obviously a rich and evocative one (albeit also one that requires a depth and complexity of writing that very few superhero shows evince). But the premise of the first season - the surviving Hargreeves children, reunited at their father’s funeral, have to find a way to overcome their differences and move past their difficult upbringing or the world will literally end - kept bumping up against the simple fact that I didn’t want this family to endure. The Hargreeves were so mean to one another, and seemed to have so little affection for each other, that I couldn’t make myself believe they wouldn’t be better off just going their separate ways.

The show itself seemed to realize this, because it ended the first season with the Hargreeves’ dysfunction and inability to honestly address how badly they’d mistreated one another ultimately being the cause of the apocalypse, and with the siblings deciding that their only possible course of action was to reset their lives and rebuild their relationships from the ground up. It was the show tacitly admitting that the Hargreeves family was unsalvageable, and while that’s a bold storytelling choice, the writing just wasn’t there to support it. I finished the first season feeling rather fatigued with both the story and the characters, and uninterested in watching them relive their lives.

The second season feels like a soft reboot of that premise. The trip through time on which the first season ended is retconned - instead of sending their consciousnesses back to their childhood selves, the Hargreeves instead end up as their own adult versions in the early 1960s. The apocalypse they fled 2019 to avoid and were hoping to prevent by reliving their childhoods and repairing their relationships from first principles is essentially forgotten. Instead the Hargreeves focus on preventing a different, new apocalypse scheduled for November 25th 1963, and once they succeed at that, 2019 is altered in unspecified ways that prevent the end of the world from happening.

Most importantly, the Hargreeves suddenly feel like a family. A dysfunctional family, to be sure, whose members have to figure out how to relate to one another now that the abuser who shaped and poisoned their relationships is finally gone. But there is a suddenly a lot of affection between the siblings, even if most of it is expressed through teasing and needling at one another’s weaknesses. In S1, the Hargreeves felt like people who genuinely had no interest in knowing one another. In S2, they feel like people who don’t know how to relate to each other, but want to figure it out.

You see this in a lot of other things that the second season does to respond to frequently-voiced complaints about the first season. In S1, everyone hated how domineering Luther was and how badly he treated Vanya, so almost the first thing he does in S2 is apologize to her for his failings as a brother, and acknowledge that a large portion of the fault for her breakdown falls on him. Everyone was a bit weirded out by the Luther/Alison ship, so it gets barely any play in S1 (though with a bone thrown to the shippers right at the end). Everyone was charmed by Klaus and Diego, so they both get major storylines (and Diego, in particular, is softened and made more vulnerable, the better to take advantage of David Castañeda’s charisma). Everyone wanted more of Ben, so he becomes more vocal and even gets to interact with characters besides Klaus. Everyone got tired of Alison namechecking a daughter that we had no intrest in, so she barely comes up even though Alison is not only separated from her by a distance of sixty years, but last saw her in a world that was being destroyed by a meteor impact. And everyone came away from the first season saying “no way Vanya is straight”, and lo, she is not straight.

It’s an approach that you see in other Netflix shows - Stranger Things, in particular, is practically defined by its responsiveness to audience complaints, with each season overcorrecting in the direction of whatever reaction was most loudly expressed over the previous one. Ideally, you’d want showrunners to have a strong enough sense of their characters, story, and world that they don’t need the audience to function as a cowriter, but in the case of The Umbrella Academy, these changes are mostly to the good. I might have liked the darker story the show seemed to be telling in the first season, about a group of abused children who genuinely don’t like each other but also can’t relate to anyone outside of their family, but the writing wasn’t there for it. The lighter, softer version of The Umbrella Academy delivered by S2 actually works, so the show should stick with it.

It certainly helps that the second season shoulders several topics that I wouldn’t have expected the show to be able to address with any amount of grace. I have to admit that I cringed when I realized that Alison, trapped in the South in the early 60s, had joined the civil rights movement, because superhero stories do not have a great track record dealing with social justice, much less real-world movements. But the handling of this issue ends up being smarter and more effective than I could ever have hoped. It’s still a side-story to the main event of preventing the end of the world, but in the scenes and episodes that do place it front and center, the show is unflinching. The depiction of the lunch counter protest that Alison and her group organize, and of the vicious hostility they encounter for such a small, simple demand, is unsparing. It establishes both the depth of the hatred and violence that the protest arouses, and the impossibility of resisting “peacefully” against a system the views any assertion of your humanity as an act of violence.

I was also a bit concerned over the placement of Alison, in particular, at the center of a story like this. Obviously, as the only black member of the Hargreeves family, her experience in the 1960s would be unique, but she’s also a character who has been established as being too powerful for her own good, and having abused her power in order to dehumanize others. Placing her in a situation where she is being dehumanized because of her race felt like creating a fruitless tension, where Alison might feel reluctant to use her powers despite the fact that she is all-but powerless against the greater system of white supremacy. But again, the season manages to thread the needle, showing both the allure and the limitations of Alison’s mind control abiliites in the context of Jim Crow. I didn’t love the implication that Alison would almost immediately start misusing her powers once she decided to use them to open doors that racism had closed to her, but the show also makes it clear that her anger is justified, and her targets deserving.

By the same token, I heaved a great sigh when the season introduced Harlan and I realized that he was neuroatypical, because it felt almost inevitable that some aspect of the strangeness that follows the Hargreeves around would result in him being “cured”. But that didn’t happen! The season treats Harlan like a valuable and loved person who doesn’t need to become more “normal” for his life to be worth living. And though he does end up needing to be cured, it’s not of his autism, but of whatever Vanya does to him when she saves his life. I kept expecting the the moment when Harlan would turn to his mother and start speaking, and the fact that the season kept refusing to go there feels almost miraculous.

So yeah, the whole thing feels like a breath of fresh air, and as if the people at the helm are thinking a lot more deeply about their story, what works in it and what needs to be changed for it to work, than I would have said at the end of the first season. It’s still not an amazing story (part of the reason we’re able to spend so much time on subplots like Vanya’s romance with Sissy, Klaus’s cult adventures, Alison’s activism, or Diego and his conflicted relationship with Lila, is that the spine of the season is fairly perfunctory) but it does enough with the characters that I found myself genuinely interested in their relationships and eager to see how they would develop. I’m not used to shows rebuilding themselves like this, and it’s refreshing to see that even in the streaming era, that can still happen.

[aaronhart93-archive]

twins || alison and aaron

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @alison-haynes

When: 9/28/2020

Where: the hospital

Mentions: briefly @romanbeckett

Description: Alison gives birth. And surprise! Twins! 

Trigger Warnings: labor, child birth

Alison.

The weekend seemed to drag on. Alison felt lonely, she had did her best throughout the weekend to not text Aaron and bother him on his trip. Of course she facetimed with them a couple times over the time they were gone to talk to her small blonde headed daughter who was sure to tell her she was having so much fun at the beach. Before heading to bed Sunday night, Alison felt tightening and cramping in her abdomen and back, much like a contraction, but Alison wrote it off as a Braxton Hicks contraction. She had gotten those with Destiny, and she was still four and half weeks away from her due date. Alison didn't sleep well that night, constantly getting up and hoping that the Braxton Hicks would be over.  But each time she woke up, they didn't seem over. Alison was drifting off to sleep once again, when she felt a gush sensation. Her eyes widened quickly, knowing that her water had just broke. Alison rolled over, trying to stay calm reaching for her phone. 4:32 AM. Alison wasn't even sure if Aaron had come back to the city Sunday night, or if he was planning to come back this Monday morning. But -- he was the person who she had  to call. It wasn't like Luca was going to be there for the birth of his son, and Alison needed her friend. Shakily, Alison clicked Aaron's name in her contacts. She hated it was so early, she knew she'd wake the other, but this was happening and it was happening four and half weeks early.

Aaron.

Aaron had been back in the city for nearly the whole day but he was still exhausted from his trip to the beach house with Roman and destiny. It was a much needed relaxing weekend. He had been battling some depression lately which only only gotten worse when he relapsed at his birthday party. He didn’t like to believe that he was actually depressed which is why he didn’t tell most people about what he was going through. That included Alison. She was already so stressed out with her boyfriend leaving and with the baby‘s due date coming up soon. He didn’t want to stress her out with anything else. Besides, he was managing his mental health as best as he could. There wasn’t anything she could do about it so it was pointless for him to tell her anyway. Recently Aaron had been sleeping with his phone volume up all of the way in case Alison needed something in the middle of the night. Aaron was Alison‘s protector and with Luca gone she needed air now now more than ever. The sound of his phone ringing made him practically jumped out of bed. He turned to pick up the phone and saw it was Alison. His mind immediately went to his daughter, but she was with him tonight so he knew she was okay. “Hello?” He rasped. “Everything okay?”

Alison.

Alison couldn't believe this was happening so early. With Destiny, she had gone right up to her due date and even a couple days over. She was expecting at least another month before her son made his way into the world, but clearly the baby had other thoughts. He was coming tonight, and it wasn't like Alison could change that. She nervously listened to the ringer ring just once before hearing Aaron's voice on the other end. "I-Can you meet me at the hospital?" Alison hadn't even thought to call for help before calling Aaron, "Or pick me up? Or something -- Aaron, the baby is coming." She said into the phone. Her voice made it clear that she was surprised it was happening this early, and Alison did not at all feel prepared for this baby's arrival today. It was far too early, and Alison was only thinking of the worst. Was something wrong with her child? Why was this happening so early?

Aaron.

he paused for a brief moment, taking in everything that he had just heard. Right now? It’s way too early. He rubbed his eyes, thinking that that would make him hear her more clearly or something. “Are you sure?” Stupid question, especially because Aaron was already jumping out of bed and putting clothes on. “I’m coming. I’ll pick you up. I’ll be there — um, “ it was 4:30 in the morning in New York City, he could make it across north Kingsboro in a handful of minutes if he went quickly. “Less than 10 minutes. Did you pack a bag yet? Do you need me to bring you any clothes or anything?” He held his phone with his head between his shoulder and ear, hopping into a paid of sweat pants and already making his way towards her bedroom down the hall to grab a couple clothing items she had at his pent.

Alison.

Alison didn't want to be sure about this, she wanted to be wrong and to go back to bed, but she had a child before, she had gone through labor before and she knew it was time. Plus, her water breaking was a sure fire sign that her son was on his way to join the world and he'd be with them sometime soon. Of course she wasn't ready, as no one was ready to go into labor especially not ready over a month early. "I, everything is already packed." She told him, sure she wasn't expecting her son a month early, but she had packed the bag knowing it could happen at anytime. Alison reached for the water bottle on the side of her bed, taking a sip and then saying, "Please hurry."

Aaron.

“Okay. Okay.” He breathed, turning away from her room and back towards the master. “I’m coming.” He hung up the phone and shoved Roman awake to tell him where he was going and that he was in charge of Des and getting her to school in the morning. Without even letting him answer, he was out the door and starting the Range Rover with his car starter. He seemed to make it to the pop star’s pent in record time. He fiddled with keys to try to find the key to Alison’s when he got to the door. He was much less nervous for her delivery this time around. For obvious reasons. Once He finally got inside her apartment, he reached his hand out of her to take and slung her bag over his shoulder. “Round 2, momma!!!” He exclaimed.

Alison.

“Thank you,” she said into the phone before hearing the line go dead. Alison made her way slowly down to her living room so she would be closer to the door upon Aaron’s arrival. She just wanted to get to the hospital, deliver her son and make sure everything was okay with him. Her mind kept farting to the worst situation, but she knew she needed to just trust what was happening. Alison nodded as he spoke, “I can’t believe this is happening right now.” She mumbled, following him to the door. It was time to bring another life into this world.

Aaron

Aaron even did some tiny jumps and claps in an attempt to get her all excited. But he knew that she was definitely in a lot of pain, and was trying to lighten the mood or even make her laugh. He was probably still going to attempt those lame jokes even if they all failed. He just needed to stay calm, positive, and grounded for her. He still couldn’t believe this was happening a second time and he was so happy Alison asked him for his help with this. Of course, that was just  because Aaron had this incessant need to be everyone’s savior. His therapist told him repeatedly that he couldn’t save everyone, but Aaron still believed he had to. The father wrapped his arm around his best friend and lead her to the Range Rover. He drove quickly yet carefully, and when they arrived to the hospital he pulled up front then ran around the passenger side to open the door for her. “Let’s go.” He said, offering her a hand before tossing his keys to the valet.

Alison.

Alison was beyond thankful that Aaron had agreed to help her through this. He was the only person to think to ask, the only person she was comfortable enough with to have him in the room with her while she birthed out a child. He had seen it all before, he knew how this was going to go down. It was different this time, as the baby she was about to bring in this world was not Aaron's child, but she was just as thankful for his presences as she was the first time around. Part of her wished Luca was here, and part of her was glad it was Aaron who would be holding her hand through labor. As they arrived to the hospital, Alison gently grabbed onto his hand as she pulled herself out of his car. She had called the hospital on their way, so they were greeted with a wheelchair for the Alison to sit down in. Alison looked up at Aaron, "Thank you again. For being here." She said, as they were brought inside to a hospital room.

Aaron

This was it. Aaron tried to keep an straight face but he was actually so terrified. He could feel the color draining from his face when they brought her into the hospital room. He followed her in. “Of course.” This was so weird; how this was happening again but in a completely different way at the same time. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly once she finally got into the hospital bed. Nurses entered the room, poking and prodding Alison and making sure she was really ready to give birth. “Are you doing okay, Ali?” He asked that question like three different times over the course of a several minutes. His heart raced but he was determined to keep a straight face for alisons sake.

Alison.

"I'm okay." She kept telling Aaron. But, she really wasn't. Her mind was all over the place trying to wonder why her baby boy was trying to make his entrance into the world so early on. The next few hours were brutally painful for the pop star, especially after refusing to get an epidural when offered, but then regretting it and asking for one just to find out it was too late for her to get one. Finally, it was time for Alison to push her son out into the world. Alison gripped tightly onto Aaron's arm, the sweaty popstar was by far ready for this to be over. She just wanted to hold her son and for the pain to calm down. After a few minutes of pushing, Alison heard the small cries in the room of her baby and a small smile spread over her face. Usually, the doctor would then put the baby on the mothers chest for a moment together, but that didn't happen instead the doctors told Alison because the baby was born so early and was on the smaller side, they needed to be sure he was okay. Alison felt overwhelmed, and the emotion was in her face, she also still felt more pain then she thought she would have. The doctor who delivered her son, turned back to Alison after handing her baby off to the nurses, "Are you ready to push for baby number two?" The doctor asked. Alison nearly lost all color in her face, "What do you mean baby number two?" The mother cried out. She wasn't having two babies, the entire pregnancy, every ultrasound there was only one baby. One little boy, not two babies. Alison felt tears running down her face once again as the doctor said the baby was coming whether she was ready or not. Alison squeezed onto Aaron tightly, getting ready to push once again.

Aaron.

Aaron tried to convince the singer to accept the epidural, knowing full well she’d regret that decision in a few minutes. This was all happening so fast and judging by how overwhelmed Aaron was, the billionaire could guess that Alison was feeling that tenfold. Alison gripped onto his hand so hard that he definitely thought his hand was going to break. He leaned on the railing of the hospital bed and tried to hold his hand as steady as possible for her. He saw that the pained look on her face and quickly realized that Alison could squeeze his hand as hard as she could, but that still wouldn’t compare to what her body was doing to her now. He stayed steady for her and tried to talk her through it as best as possible. Aaron peered over at the baby when the doctor held him. Oof. Gross. Still, it was kind of adorable. He frowned when the doctor told Alison she had to wait because the baby was so small. He did look a little on the small side. He looked down at his best friend. “He looks fine. Just like Des. Nice and healthy.” He lied in attempt to comfort her. His steadiness faltered when the doctor told her to prepare for baby number two. Two babies. Holy fuck. “C’mon, Alison.” He cheered, even though it sounded more like a demand. Like when you can hear your dad coaching you from the stands. That’s how he spoke to Alison.

Alison.

Alison wanted to know that her baby boy was okay, that he was healthy and that she could love him, but the current situation was distracting her mind. She was about to push out another child, one that she hadn’t even been aware of until just a few seconds ago. Was this another boy? A girl? And were both babies going to be healthy? All Alison wanted was for both babies to be healthy. The singer squeezed onto Aaron’s hand once again, as she pushed and pushed. Aaron’s voice might not have been the friendliest in the moment, but it comforted Alison just to hear it. Just a few short pushes later, Alison heard the doctor say, “Congratulations on your little girl.” Alison was mentally and physically exhausted, and wanted nothing more to hold the two small babies brought into the world by her. But she still didn’t even know if they were okay. Alison felt warm tears rolling down her face as she looked at Aaron, “Can you see them? Are they okay?” She asked worriedly. “I-I want to hold my babies.” She cried out, more to the doctors than to Aaron.

Aaron

Aaron gave her another strong arm as she pushed again. His face was one of horror but he tried to keep it straight for Alison’s sake. He couldn’t believe that she was having twins. What the fuck. Aaron smiled when the doctor held the second baby, knowing the worst of it was over and that she had delivered two whole babies. He smiled when he head the two baby wails as the nurses cleaned the babies off. “They’re perfect, Ali!” He exclaimed. Aaron moved out of the way so that the nurses could hand her her children. This was a lot. And so weird. One of the nurses turned to look at him, waving him over to hold one of the babies; she must’ve thought Aaron was the father. He’s headed wildly and made some weird hand motions to Signal to her that he wasn’t the father.  This was Destiny’s min but these weren’t his kids. He was so damn happy for her because she knew how badly she wanted this. He could remember so clearly how she’d ask him to have another kid months ago. He liked his life right now, and he stepped aside to let his best friend have a moment with the two new additions to her’s.

Alison.

Alison was exhausted, as would anyone would be after giving birth to two babies. But that didn't matter right now, all Alison cared about was that her babies were okay. As the doctor handed over one baby and then the next, Alison looked down at the two very small babies with a tired smile on her face. Aaron was right, they were perfect. Alison couldn't see a single flaw in either of them, and she loved each of them so damn much. Alison knew at home she was only set up for one little boy and would need help setting up for the baby that surprised her, but looking down at the two perfect little faces in her arms, she wasn't upset that the little girl had surprised her or that they made their way into the world earlier than expected. She was just happy that they were okay. Alison tiredly looked from the babies over to Aaron, "I have two more perfect little babies." She said, happily.

Aaron

Aaron smiled when she looked over at him and took that as an invitation to go sit down next to her. He looked down at his daughter’s siblings and smiled widely. He could stop thinking about how excited his kid was going to be when she found out that she was gonna have TWO little siblings. “Congratulations, Alison.” He whispered to her. “Smile.” He said pulling out his phone and getting several pictures of Alison and the babies. She’d thank him later. “Did you decide on a name for the boy yet? Now you have to think of a girl name too.” He chuckled.

Alison.

Alison was excited for Destiny to find out not only did she get a little brother, but also a little sister. The smaller blonde had been a bit upset at first when she found out the baby wasn't a girl but had come around on the idea of a little brother. But, now she would have the best of both worlds. Ali was nervous about raising two more children, but she knew she could do this. As she smiled down at the twins in her arms, she knew there was no way she could ever disappoint those two beautiful babies. Alison felt Aaron taking pictures, and part of her wanted to tell him to stop because she was a hot mess, but she knew she'd cherish those pictures later on. Alison looked to the little boy, who weighed a little more than her daughter. "Yeah, his name is Graham Aaron Haynes." Sure, the baby wasn't Aaron's kid, but that didn't mean Aaron wasn't one of the most important people in Alison's life. It didn't mean that she couldn't give her son the middle name of someone who meant so damn much to her. She glanced at Aaron, hoping that he wouldn't think it was strange, and then back to the small girl in hands. "For her --," Of course there had been girl names that came to mind when Ali didn't know the gender and one stuck out and she could still think of now. "Emery. I think her name is Emery Rose Haynes."

Aaron

Aaron eyes widened and he felt his stomach drop. Did he actually hear that right? There was no way that Alison actually named her child after him. Of course...he was going to be known as Uncle Aaron and be around the kids all the time. These were Destiny's siblings and he already cared about them so much; he could picture taking the three of them to hang out together and he couldn't wait for Destiny to have siblings. She was going to be such an amazing big sister and learn so much about responsibility (and maybe she'll learn to share more). "Alison." He covered his mouth with his hand to hide the huge fucking grin on his face. "Oh my god." He almost laughed because this was just so unbelievable and he was so happy. "That's so...thank you. Wow." He stuttered. "I love you, Ali and I'm so so so happy for you." He beamed. "They're both perfect names. Especially Graham's, but both prefect nonetheless." He joked, already letting this get to his head.

Alison.

Alison knew that it would be a big deal for Aaron, giving her son Aaron as a middle name. There was very few people in Alison’s life who were always there for her, and Aaron by far was her favorite person besides her children. He was the person who was there through absolutely anything and everything, even when the two were having an argument, he would still be there if something serious came up in her life. Alison smiled over to Aaron, “Of course. You have made such a serious impact on my life and he deserves a name as great as yours.” She said, adjusting slightly in the hospital bed. “I love you, too.” She told him adjusting the babies slightly, “Would you like to hold him?”

Aaron

Alison was genuinely one of the most important people to Aaron. Without her, his life would be so different and he genuinely thought he be in a much worse place than he was now without her. She kept hm grounded and, of course, she gave him Des which is the best thing that Aaron could ever ask for. Aaron felt his heart get so full at her words. He nodded his head wildly when she offered to let him old her baby. "Yeah." He said, reaching out to grab the infant from her. He looked down at the baby that was named after him.  He cooed at the baby who had finally stopped crying. He was fucking perfect, and Des was going to love him so damn much.

Alison.

Alison gently handed over her son to her best friend, then snuggled her daughter closer. “I can’t wait for Destiny to meet them.” She mentioned, looking over to Aaron. She had a quick moment of deja vu, remembering the first time she saw Aaron hold Destiny. But this time, it was so different, it was a boy and he was so tiny in Aaron’s arms, and of course Aaron wouldn’t be this baby’s father. But, she knew Aaron would be there for anything she would need help with. She brushed her lips against her daughters head lightly before smiling to Aaron, “Thank you again. For everything.”

Aaron

This was still so weird. He had been thinking about the last time there were here like this together, and he couldn't stop thinking about his daughter and just how excited she was going to be. Which of course mad him so fucking happy. His eyes flickered from both babies then back to Alison. "Of course." He told her. There was no way he was leaving his best friend to do this all by herself. And Aaron actually felt so proud that Alison would think to ask him to be here with her. He just couldn't wait for Des to get here.

[shea-morgan]

Discord Thread

WHO: Jace & Shea ( @jace-matthews )​

WHEN: August 11th ish??

WHAT: Jace gets Shea a room to spend the night after bailing him out of jail

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mention of suicide/death & the knife incident

MENTIONS: @lorencourtier @warmvlbes @romanbeckett @aaronhart93 @beatrizgrey @alison-haynes @luca-regio @malakhai-ozera I think that’s everyone?

Shea. Being arrested was not even rock bottom. Being sentenced to a year in prison with bail posted at more money than he'd ever seen in his life was not rock bottom. It almost felt like it. But Shea honestly felt almost too relieved to be stuck here. It was a chance to just be disconnected from the world. Not have to go home to his mother. He honestly could have cried from relief if it weren't for the dream he had both nights spent in the cell. Waking him up in cold sweats and a loss for any humane hope for himself. Until anonymous payed his bail a few days later & he was released just like that. Of course with probation and some hefty papers about going to AA and looking to get therapy. And so the real rock bottom began.... After his shitty attempted at trying to catch a train out of here and running into Khai, he knew his own circumstances were so much worse. He refused to go home. It was now sundown and was still sitting on a park bench with his dead phone and envelope full of his belongings. There was a 5 dollar bill in his wallet, and even though his stomach was growling for food, he couldn't muster up the nerve to buy even a slice of pizza.

Jace Jace was waiting for a train himself and looked over when he noticed that Shea was out. He took a deep breath, realizing who it was and walked over, happy to see him but also, upset with everything that happened. He took a seat next to Shea, knowing they used to be best friends. His hands were in his pockets but eventually he mustered up the courage to actually reach out and touched his shoulder, looking over at him. "Hey."

Shea. He was really contemplating making this bench his bed for the night. He was starring at the opposite wall, his mind in the void at the moment before he felt someone sit down next to him. He still couldn’t tear his eyes away from starring at nothing now until he flinched when Jace touched his shoulder. He turned his head to look at him. “Hey,” he said quietly, looking him up and down like he couldn’t believe he was actually just sitting next to him like this.

Jace He could see the hurt in his eyes and it killed Jace. Maybe those feelings were not all gone like he thought. It was easy when they weren't talking but now, not so much. He swallowed hard as he looked at him, his eye bruised, and he just looked so down. Jace didn't know what else to do except to pull him in for a hug. "You're okay." He said to him lowly. "It's going to be okay."

Shea. Shea had never been vulnerable like this before. He really had absolutely nothing anymore. No job, no money, nothing. And then the second hug of the day came, and Shea tried so hard to hold himself together. What was it about these hugs? Maybe that’s why he never got close to people. And the optimism Jace seemed to have? Made it worse. Shea let him pull him in for a hug and he shook his head against Jace’s shoulder. He didn’t dare talk. Sobs were bursting at his seems any moment now. What made it worse? Shea knew he would reach this point in his life. It was either that, or he’d be dead. Honestly the later sounded like a better option. He chewed on his bottom lips and just pressed his closed lips to Jace’s shoulder and shut his eyes tightly.

Jace "Shhhh." Jace said as he held the boy to his shoulder. God...he knew the pain Shea was feeling. Embarrassment, disappointment, fear: he'd been there. What shea did was not okay but it was clear Shea knew that. Jace partially blamed himself because he knew this spiral started right after he started seeing Loren. To know how Shea felt now wasn't going to solve anything. But he damn sure could be there as his friend. So without another word, he held him super tight, running his hand over the back of his head.

Shea. Shea eyes watered a little, and he didn’t move from the comfort of Jace. Until finally he picked his chin up, just to keep saying, “I’m sorry, I really am sorry,” to Jace. His voice was just barely above a whisper before he pulled back and sat forward beside him. “I just really need somewhere to go for the night,” he muttered a little louder this time. God this really sucked. He hated to put Jace in that situation. If Shea had to guess how the majority felt about him in this moment... it wouldn’t be hard to know they hated him.

Jace "I would bring you back to my place but Loren and Emily are there and Emily isn't in the best shape." He responded and then stood up, offering Shea his hand. "I can get you a room. Do you want me to stay with you?" He asked him, truthfully. Because he would. Shea did some fucked up shit but Jace didn't want to leave him alone. Not like this. "Just say the word."

Shea. He sighed a little and leaned his head in his hand, pushing his hair back a little bit. He shook his head and sat back up, swallowing, "No... it's fine, no, don't pay for a room," He replied. "I'll figure it out." He turned to look around again, before looking back at Jace. "What's going on with Emily?"

Jace “No.” Jace said to him, turning around. “What were not going to do is this. You’re going to let me pay for a room. You’re going to let me do this shea. Stop telling me no.” He said sternly, still offering his hand to the boy. “Let me do this. Please.” He said. “I’m not taking no for an answer.” He sighed waiting for shea. “She...was attacked”

Shea. Looking up at Jace now standing in front of him, and pretty much throwing a fit about Shea’s rejection kind of had Shea stunned. He really didn’t expect it. Not after what he did. He starred at him for a moment or two and then at his hand. He didn’t say anything before he finally stood up. He started walking, expecting Jace to follow, glancing to his side. “What do you mean she was attacked? By who?” Of course he was concerned, but Shea still didn’t know if he was in the right mind for anything right now. And besides the fact that nobody probably wanted a visit from Shea at the moment anyway. He knew she worked for and was good friends with Roman. Just like before ... you could never escape Roman.

Jace “as in a guy literally jumped her in a park. She has a cracked rib, lacerated kidney and a busted head.” He laughed out of nerves. “Sounds way more awful than it actually was but shes doing better.” He shrugged, walking along side shea. “How many nights?” He said to him. “Because you’re not just gonna be homeless. I refuse it.”

Shea. Shea didn’t laugh, or really have much of a reaction. It was awful, it didn’t matter what Jace said. He felt terrible, but what do you say to that? Shea was never a man of words when it came to trauma and emotional things to begin with. He just simply nodded after Jace assured him she was doing better. He really missed a lot between getting loaded everyday and then losing his shit and nursing a 3 day hang over in a jail cell. “I’m not homeless... at least not yet anyway,” he told him. “One night is fine.”

Jace He laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not just doing this for one night Shea. While others may not be your biggest fan right now, you can’t just up and become homeless. Tell me you’ve got a place to go after check out and I’ll consider 1 night. But if not, we’re going for a week.”

Shea. Shea was reluctant to talk. But after another deep breath he said, “I still have my apartment,” he admitted. “I can go there.” At least he assumed it was true. His bandmate was still there ... even though his mom had kind of invited herself in on the couch.

Jace "Okay but if I fing out you're homeless on the side of the road somewhere, I won't be happy." He said sharply, walking him into the hilton he was very familiar with and starting to book a walk-in. After being handed the keys, he turned to shea and handed them over as he helped to walk him up to the room. "Is there anything I can get for you? Clothes? Food?"

Shea. Shea pressed his lips together, just nodding. Although Shea has survived on the streets before. He followed Jace into the Hilton, watched him book a room and feeling his stomach turn inside out. He hated this feeling of helplessness. He walked next to Jace up to the room, shaking his head. “No.... you’ve done enough,” he said.

Jace "Alright." Jace said taking a deep breath as he knocked back on his heels and smiled at shea, as he leaned against the door frame. "Well, if that's all, I guess uh...I can get going." He mused, pressing his lip in a hard line.

Shea. Shea chewed on his bottom lip, leaning on the opposite side of the door frame to face him. He was quiet, expecting Jace to just turn and leave. He wanted to ask him to stay so bad, he just didn’t know how. He had never done that before.

Jace He sighed, seeing as though Shea wasn't saying much more, he bit his lip. "Um....you sure there's nothing else you need? I'm scared to leave."

Shea. Shea was still quiet, chewing the inside of his cheek now. Then he shook his head, “me too,” he muttered quietly and then pushed his fingers through his hair. “I mean ... I don’t want you to leave,” he said even quieter.

Jace "So you do want me to stay..." He smiled at him half-heartedly and nodded, taking off his coat and sitting down at the foot of Shea's bed.

Shea. Shea watched Jace help himself into the room so easily after Shea told him to stay. He pressed his lips together to hide a tiny smile. Shea shut the door and turned to go and lay down on the bed. “Are you going to spend the night?” He asked, looking down at him sitting at the foot of the bed.

Jace Was it really a good idea for Jace to do that? Probably not but at the end of the day, this was his friend. It'd be hard to try and explain to loren that he was staying at someone else's spot though. Especially Shea's. "Um..." He said for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. "I can probably stay as long as you need me to but I am not sure that spending the night would be the best idea." He sighed. "I just...don't want to get myself in trouble."

Shea. It was true, Shea hoped he would. He really didn’t want to be alone, he was so tired of it. But his response was expected, as much as it was disappointing. He sat up in the bed and leaned against the headboard, raking his teeth over his bottom lip. “Yeah... I get it,” he told him. Shea knew he didn’t have anyone to lean on. And he already asked enough of Jace. He couldn’t expect him to do that for him. “Um, .. it’s okay, you can go,” he said and sighed, rolling over and hugging a pillow.

Jace “I-“ Jace frowned looking at Shea. “Shea no. I’m not leaving just yet.” He frowned. “I told you I can’t stay maybe over night but that’s not to say that I don’t want to be here.” He assured him. “Please don’t shut me out...that hurt when you did it the first time.” he admitted softly.

Shea. Shea looked at him over the pillow. “I’m not trying to shut you out,” he said. “I’m the enemy now, and I don’t want you to get involved more than you already are... buying me a room and all. No one would be happy about that. They all want me in jail, including my own self but here I am..”

Jace “me nor Khai think you belong in prison. But yeah did you lose your mind? Probably so.” he shrugged. Sighing to himself and then looking over at Shea. “I’m not the type to hold grudges. What you did was really fucked up but I can’t just leave you and I’m not here to judge you”

Shea. Shea sat up again, leaning on his elbow to really look at Jace. “Oh my god... you paid my bail,” he said, mostly just now realizing it himself. He swallowed and starred at him for a good few moments. “Why did you do that?” This was probably a stupid question. And it really didn’t need to be answered, Shea was just in awe. But also .... unfortunately not happy with it. It would have been easier on everyone if he just stayed in jail.

Jace “wasn’t just me.” He said looking over at him. “And this isn’t for you to run and tell everyone either. I’m not trying to be the most hated individual in kingsboro for trying to have a heart for you.” He sighed shrugging. “Maybe because I care” he said to him looking over to him. “Because you’re someone I actually had feelings for.” He shook his head.

Shea. Shea’s eyes felt heavy. Not in a tired way. Probably because he could have cried hearing that. That someone actually cared and wanted to give him a chance after what he did. He blinked a few times, but it still didn’t get rid of that feeling. “I’m sorry...” he found himself saying it again. He said it to Khai too. He really was sorry for creating this mess. “You know I ... I really didn’t mean anything I said to Roman and ... I was out of control with the knife and everything ... and I’m sorry for what happened in the stairwell. I Lost it after that. I lost control. It’s not an excuse, and the drinking isn’t an excuse and Khai thinks I need to get help and I know he’s right I just can’t. I don’t know what to do..” he was rambling by the end until he finally shut up after choking up a little. He swallowed it back again and shook it head, closing his eyes with a quick sigh.

Jace “you know I appreciate you apologizing but you know who would appreciate it more? Roman, Aaron, Bea?” He asked, cutting his eyes to him. “I’m willing to forgive you but it’s them that really deserves the apology.” He took a deep breath listening to the advice Khai gave him. “And yeah help...that sounds about right.”

Shea. “yeah I’m aware. But I think they’d appreciate the space at the moment,” he said. He laid down again. “Why am I apologizing to Bea?”

Jace "I don't know. I spoke to her and she said she felt used." He shrugged. "I don't know your history with her much at all but that's just how she feels."

Shea. Shea chewed on the inside of his cheek again when Jace told him that. God he felt like such a mess. He sighed to himself again, moving his head to put his hand in his hair and then burring his face in his arm and the pillow. “I’m shit,” he said, his voice muffled by the pillow. “My life here is over, I need to move again.”

Jace "Shea, I've really had enough of the negative talk." He sighed. "I'm not going to sit here and play your sad fiddle. I get you fucked up but you can bounce back. You need to just apologize and let that be the end of it. Get yourself some help but running away from your problems will solve nothing. So shut up with the bullshit, or I'm gonna go. Because I'm really sick of people coming in to my life just to walk out on it."

Shea. Slowly, Shea sat up again. But this time he leaned forward and pulled his knees up. “How do you expect me to get help when I have no job and no money? Probably no one will hire me now. Especially when Aaron whispers in everyone’s ears. Besides that ... literally everyone here will drop to their knees and suck Roman’s dick. You think they wanna see my face in public? And you won’t ever understand ... this was what my life was bound to come too. Everyone knew I would end up a psycho in jail...”

Jace "I'm not someone who wants to suck Roman off so let's not say everyone and I'd be happy to help you get help. You just need to ask." He said to him truthfully. "You need to focus on the now though. I'll help when I can."

Shea. “it’s a .. figure of speech... sorry it’s so vulgar.” Shea sighed a little bit. “I’m not good at asking for help, and I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to owe anyone anything. Medical help is a lot of money. Not to mention the money you spent just bailing me out.”

Jace "Yeah well that last bit stays here and I already told you it wasn't just me who bailed you out." He sighed. "I'm offering to help you shea. Take it or leave it."

Shea. Shea pressed his lips together and hugged his knees a little tighter. “I just ... need a friend,” he admitted quietly looking down at the bed spread. “But I know it’s my fault I keep everyone at arms length.” He admitted. No one ever knew him like his ex did, he not only was in love with her but she was the closest he’d ever gotten to someone. Probably why he was so reluctant to let her go and easily let her string him along every time she came back. She definitely would not have put up with this though and he knew it. But for some reason that was comforting. It was just strange to hear the same kind of harsh love from Jace.

Jace "I'm here to be your friend." He said sighing. "I may not need to be here, nor should I be but i'm trying to be your friend." He looked around, then back at Shea. "Just let me."

Shea. Shea traced the lines in the comforter with his fingers for a moment. Until finally he leaned forward and crawled across the bed and laid his head in Jace’s lap. “Can we talk about you now?”

Jace "Me?" HE asked, watching as the boy crawled across the way and landed his head into Jace's lap. Oh god....this wasn't what he expected. He was even hesitant what to do with his hands so he just leaned back, using them to balance him out. "um...what do you want to know?"

Shea. “well.. if we’re going to be friends... I don’t know your middle name. I don’t exactly know what you even do, have you lived here forever? I don’t know. All I know is you work for Roman and you sing and you know how to fake a nut.” Shea turned his head to look up at him.

Jace Oh. This is was getting to know him. Well, yeah there wasn't any harm in that which made Jace chuckle. "Ive been here for about 3 years." He smiled. "And My middle name is Dante. I'm just an actor and singer. Not really anything special about me other than I'm adopted, which you already knew."

Shea. “Okay, what else do friends know about each other?” He asked. “I don’t have a middle name.... so my high school band mates used to call me Shea Fucking Morgan,” he admitted and then after a moment let out a soft laugh. “And you already know I’m a fucking psycho who knows how to ruin his life like it’s his job.”

Jace He chuckled. "You want to just hit me with 20 questions?" He smirked, looking down at him. "I can do that."

Shea. “I don’t even know what to ask..” he shrugged a little. “Actually ... what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

Jace "Bailing you out." He teased, playfully pushing Shea's head before placing his hand back. "How about....did you know i'm from Hawaii?"

Shea. Shea rolled his eyes. “Besides that. ... and Hawaii.. that’s at least a little bit unexpected.”

Jace Jace had to really think about this. He didn't have a clue what to say. " i really don't even know. Maybe i haven't done it yet?" He shrugged. "I pantsed a teacher once."

Shea. Shea rolled his head over and chuckled a little bit before he sat up. “A goodie goodie,” he muttered. “Did you get detention?”

Jace “Even worse...I Got ISS." He laughed. "I remember telling my parents, worried it wouldn't get me into an Ivy League school only to not even choose to go to school."

Shea. Shea chuckled again, his eyes closing for a brief moment before a small head shake and licking his lips. “Okay, finally... something we have in common. School was never in my cards, just shocked enough I graduated high school.”

Jace "But hey you did it!" He laughed, looking down at Shea. "And you may not doing the ideal things you hoped but everyone has a chance to turn around. Look at Luca." He smiled.

Shea. He raised an eyebrow at him, “um ... who’s Luca?”

Jace He laughed. He didn't expect Shea to know him but that's okay. "He's Alison's boyfriend." He smiled, clearing his throat. "Ex-convict."

Shea. “I ... am not even sure I know who Alison is.. but okay,” he said. “Ex-convict ... I’m listening.”

Jace "She's literally one of the most famous people in kingsboro, Shea. Aaron's baby mama and best friend." He explained and then cleared his throat. "He was in for drugs."

Shea. Shea sighed a little. He was never the person to care to pay attention that stuff. “Oh... thanks for filling me in,” he said. “Was he selling them?”

Jace "As far as I know, yeah. One of the biggest dealers in the bronx." He raised a brow. "Aaron can't stand him."

Shea. Shea nodded and pressed his lips together. “And so ... you’re telling me I need to date a pop star?”

Jace "I'm telling you that he got a second chance. Please pay attention." He scoffed, shaking his head as he fell back on the bed. "You'll get yours."

Shea. Shea kind of laughed a little, before picking his head up and then leaning on his own arms again. “I’ve already had ... second, third ... hell fourth chances already,” he admitted.

Jace "Im going to leave if you don't shut up and listen."

Shea. “I am listening! Do I not have a right to be honest with you? Isn’t that what you want?”

Jace "I'm over the negative nacy bullshit" he told him sternly. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you degrade yourself."

Shea. “Jace, I’m just telling you how it is,” he laughed a little. “But I’m sorry I guess ... and I really do want to turn my life around. It’s just not that easy...”

Jace "It's not going to be." He told him honestly. "But i'm willing to help lead you there."

Shea. “it’s hard for me... to just accept help,” Shea sighed a little bit, plopping back down. His head falling back on Jace’s lap and looking at the ceiling.

Jace And again, there he was in his lap. He sighed, still wanting to figure out what to do with his hands. Finally biting the bullet, he ran his hands over his hair, smoothing it back a bit. "Well accept at least mine."

Shea. Shea blinked, looking up at Jace as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was soothing, but it made his stomach turn. His brain was telling him to sit back up. But Shea really needed to try hard at letting people in and letting people get close to him, so he stayed put and just focused on the ceiling again. “I mean... I’m in this hotel room and not in a jail cell right?”

Jace He kept stroking his hair and then eventually stopped to balance himself on his hands again. He took a deep breath nodding as he looked down to shea. "You are and that's where I like you. What you did was fucked up but that doesn't mean you just belong there." He told him and then smiled down at him.

Shea. Shea shifted his gaze to look at Jace hearing those words. “Some people think so,” he mentioned, before he blinked and looked down at the bed and the surroundings of the room. It was a nice hotel room, and Shea could honestly say he had never actually spent the night in one before. “Are you sure you can’t ... I don’t know.. get another room at least? Next to mine.”

Jace "I could definitely look into doing that." He smiled, looking down at the boy. "Do you like it or should I consider booking you elsewhere the next time something like this happens?" He asked him, raising a brow. "Which, that was a joke because this better not happen again." He laughed.

Shea. Shea looked up at him. “Yeah.. it won’t happen again, mom.” He mocked back. Then he half laughed a little because of the irony of that joke. He rolled over off of Jace now, sat up and pushed his hair back. “I’m starving,” he said. “Think there’s anything to eat close by?”

Jace he rolled his eyes, laughing as he heard shea and then took a deep breath. “Depends what you’re in the mood for babe. You want pizza? Asian? American?”

Shea. “I ... don’t know,” he started, then shrugged. “I guess pizza will be good.”

Jace “alright.” He picks up the phone, ordering some delivery before looking back at Shea, smiling and then thanking the person over the phone. “45 minutes.”

Shea. He blinked when Jace immediately picked up his phone to order the pizza. “I .. would have gone to get it,” he said to Jace. “But, thank you..”

Jace “you’re not leaving my sight.” Jace said, patting his lap again. “We’re you not comfy or what?”

Shea. “Well I have to leave your site when you leave me in the room alone to sleep,” he pointed out. Then he glanced to Jace’s lap and then met his gaze. “I mean... yeah it was comfy... but are you?”

Jace “I...didn’t think about that.” He snickered taking a deep breath. “Well right now, I want you to stay within my sight.” And then he looked down at his lap. “It was comfortable for me. I didn’t mind it at all.”

Shea. “So I’m being baby sat,” he pointed out, but he laughed a little. Then he turned on his back and laid his head back down in Jace’s lap.

Jace “I’m just trying to be a protective friend.” He smiled, laughing with shea as he stroked his hair again and looked down at him. “You seem like you could cuddle if you don’t think about it.”

Shea. Shea blinked up at Jace, eyebrows raising together. “If I don’t think about it?” He was a little confused what he meant.

Jace “yeah remember you’re not gay so you probably think about your actions before actually going through with them. When we cuddled the first time, you denied it. Now I’m telling you if I cuddle you, I hope you don’t deny it the way you did the first time. Even as your friend.”

Shea. Shea just starred at him through his eyelashes. A million excuses were racing through his head, until he remembered that he knew he had to change and not but such an asshole. “It’s just that it’s ... kind of like subconsciously being vulnerable with someone, and I’m not good at that.”

Jace “I think that’s understandable.” He said to him. “I know how hard it is to let someone in like that. It’s a part of you that you don’t want to share if you’ve been hurt over and over”

Shea. Shea was silent again. He licked his lips and pressed them together, shifting his to look at the ceiling again. “Have you been hurt over and over?”

Jace “of course I have.” Jace told him truthfully. “Not just by lovers but by family too.” He said to shea looking down, his hand still stroking his hair. “I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

Shea. “I’ve only had one girlfriend in my life,” he admitted. And he really thought he would always end up with her until just recently. It was probably stupid thinking, but to him it wasn’t crazy.

Jace “I’ve had both.” He said to him, raising a brow. “I like both genders and I’m okay with it. But neither one is the better one. We all fucking suck.” He laughed. “And I mean really suck.”

Shea. “no one sucks as much as me,” he said with a small laugh. “ and ... your sister. We could have been something, but I fucked that all up.” Was this venting? He wasn’t sure. But he never talked about it before.

Jace “yeah I don’t even like to think about that Shea.” He said to him honestly. “It hurts to think it was me or her.” He shrugged. “And...expected to just know how you felt.”

Shea. He picked his head up a little to look at Jace. “What do you mean you or her?” He was confused now. “Me and her ... happened before I met you. I mean.. we were seeing each other and she wanted to be my girlfriend but I told her we weren’t. I was an ass. It was dumb. I was afraid of the commitment.”

Jace “and then you admitted to having feelings for me.” He said looking down at him. “And you’d be a fool to think that I didn’t have feelings for you.”

Shea. “and her and I were over by then, we just recently started talking again, as friends.” He explained. “It’s not like I planned for that. Besides the fact that whatever I was feeling for you was scary for me.”

Jace “why though? Was I that dangerous to you?”

Shea. He snorted and dropped his head back down. “I don’t know... are you?”

Jace “I mean I don’t know. Are you scared of me now?” He laughed. “I would have never hurt you shea.”

Shea. “No, I’m not scared of you.” He told him. “It’s not about that anyway, I can handle being hurt .... well... disregarding the current situation.”

Jace "I-" He sighed, hanging his head, pinching the bridge in between his eyebrows. "Nothing. Look, i'm sorry."

Shea. “Sorry about what?” He asked.

Jace “I'm sorry I just....didn't wait for you." He shrugged. "Loren is just...he's amazing. I didn't expect to love him the way that I do but I do and i can't change that."

Shea. Shea shook his head. “Jace, it’s fine. I didn’t ... I’m not asking you to wait for me. He’s obviously better for you anyway. It was just a stupid crush, I’m fine. I wouldn’t have done anything about it anyway. So I’m fine.”

Jace Wow. That stung like a bitch. Jace shook his head... even though he wasn't interested in starting anything with shea anymore- reallly? Not done anything about it? He sighed, getting up. "Yeah. I'm gonna go see if I can't get another room. I'll see you later."

Shea. He rolled off of Jace when he moved to get up, and then sat up to face him, while he made an excuse to leave. Shea sighed heavily, closing his eyes and leaning his head in his hand for a moment. Then he looked back up at him, “Jace, come on. You literally just told me you’re in love with Loren. What did you want me to say or do?”

Jace “Maybe kept that information to yourself then." He scoffed, picking up his coat and walking out of the hotel room.

Shea. Shea flopped back on the bed and sighed to himself. Once again Shea’s brutal honesty was getting him into trouble. His brain was telling him to leave as well. Abandon the room and go home. But his gut was telling him it wasn’t right. He needed to start now and keep it up if he really wanted to change. He pushed himself off the bed and followed Jace out into the hall way. “Jace...” he trailed off.

Jace He was halfway down the hall when he heard shea's voice and turned around. "Yes?"

Shea. He stared down the hall at Jace, not even sure what he planned to say. It took him a long few moments. Then he started to approach him again, "I ... didn't say that to make you hurt or anything. I just wanted to be honest with you.. that if you waited for me.. it would have been useless. and again - please don't take that the wrong way either. I'm just saying... you made a better choice with Loren. Because I'm just..... this.." he ended and gestured around himself - meaning the whole ending up in jail situation with no where to go.

Jace "You would've been something to me and you are something to me. It's not my fault you don't have faith in me or what could have been." He shook his head and walked on to the desk.

Shea. Shea tilted his head and watched him. His lips parted like he could have kept arguing. But his brain was malfunctioning on weather to keep arguing or if it was even worth it when he knew Jace was with Loren regardless. So he just blinked and shook his head watching Jace walk to the desk. He turned around to go back into the room, but when he got to the door and pushed the handle, it was locked. .... the key inside. So he turned around and let his head fall back against the door.

Jace On his way back, he ended up getting the other room that was just across the hall, turning back to look at Shea. "You can just request a new one at the front desk." He said before handing him the one he stuffed in his pocket. "But here."

Shea. Shea bit down on his bottom lip. "Thanks," He said, taking the key from him. He turned to  unlock the door but before he walked in he paused and said. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Jace “Of course you are." He said sighing. "but what's new? I'm used to people hurting me time and time again." He shrugged, letting himself into his room and shutting the door.

Shea. Shea turned and watched him just shut his door in Shea's face. "and ... I'm used to hurting people..." he muttered quietly to himself and then turned back into his own room.

Jace Upon entering his room, he peeled his shirt off and headed right into bed where he turned on cold case.

Shea. Soon after there was a knock on his door and Shea jumped before he pulled it opened. It was the pizza delivery. Shea scrambled to find some extra cash in his wallet for a tip and then sent him on his way. He placed it on the table in the room before he turned back, finding a way to prop his door open, cross the hall and knock on Jace's door.

Jace He heard the knock, frowning when he got up and went to answer, seeing Shea standing there. "Forget something?"

Shea. "Um.. do you want some pizza?" He asked. "You did order it after all..."

Jace Oh shit! The pizza. He completely forgot that he had ordered them some after all. The mention made his stomach growl and he cleared his throat. "um..yeah actually."

Shea. Shea nodded and turned to go back into his room. "You have to come and get it though." He called back to him.

Jace “of course.” He mumbled to himself, getting up and walking out towards Shea’s room again and knocking on the door. “2 slices and I’m out.”

Shea. Shea shut the door behind Jace, and casually stood in front of it while Jace went to get his pizza. “Please stay and ... let me explain,” he said.

Jace He was literally on the brink of leaving when he noticed that Shea was standing right in front of the door, blocking any way for Jace to push through. He sighed. Was he really in the mood to hear the excuses? "Shea, i think you said enough but if you insist...."

Shea. “Jace...,” he started. “I told you I’m afraid. And it’s not of you. That’s what I meant when I said I wouldn’t have done anything about my feelings.” He said. “I promise I didn’t say that to you to make you upset. I just wanted to tell you the truth. And the truth is.... I ... never had feelings for a guy before and that’s what I’m afraid of.” He pressed his lips together, looking away a moment. “And it was hard enough for me to just admit that.” He but his lip and then started again. “And I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear either. And also the second truth is that you’re happily with Loren, and I won’t stand in the way of that either. I’m lucky enough to have you as a friend. One willing to literally bail me out of jail.”

Jace Oh this was more like it. Jace knew it couldn't have been just him in general. But this made more sense. He was once there too. Very scared to even attempt being wiht a boy. Spending his whole life, he was told this and that was wrong and it shouldn't happen. But this was a part of who he was. "What I didn't want to hear is you not wanting to do something about liking me. Liking me shouldn't be this crime." He shrugged. "But i appreciate you telling me the full truth."

Shea. “sometimes I say things and I guess I just expect people to understand,” he shrugged a little. “I am bad with words. It’s why I’m not good with communication. I also didn’t mean liking you was some chrime. Besides that, I’m flaky about my feelings regardless. It doesn’t matter who it is ... I mean, I am the reason Bea and I never were anything serious. I’m afraid of commitment.”

Jace “you-“ Jace shook his head. “You didn’t really have to be in a relationship with me though. Not if you didn’t want to. We could have just had a little fun. Look this is all new to you. I would have never just thrown you into anything without your consent first.” He sighed. “I just wish you would have told me sooner”

Shea. “I ... never thought you would... that’s not what this is about,” Shea tried to explain, because it was like Jace didn’t understand. “My feelings are what made me scared. I don’t talk about my feelings regardless... let alone feelings for a guy,” he tried to explain to him. “Please tell me you get what I’m saying..” Shea didn’t want to say those dumb words about ‘its not you, it’s me.’ The sad fact of it was, it was true.

Jace Jace raised a brow. He got what he was saying loud and clear. But it still didn't invalidate what he was saying either. "Yeah, that you struggle with feelings. I get that completely." He shrugged. "Just wish you would've said that versus hiding the fact...or better yet, having to be drunk so that I could know how you felt. But i mean it makes sense, i don't know. Just bothers me."

Shea. Shea sighed lightly, looking down at his feet for a moment. Then raised his head again, pushing the hair from his face. “Yeah... I didn’t mean for it to come out like that,” he said. “I’m going to work I’m getting sober again, I promise.”

Jace “that’s what I like to hear” he smiled, taking a bite. “I am rooting for you shea.”

Shea. He flashed a very small half smile before he moved from the door, getting himself a piece of pizza.

Jace “oh now you move!” He laughed, taking a seat and trying to enjoy his pizza. “But after this i really gotta get back to my room.”

Shea. He took a bite and sat in one of the chairs next to the table. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “As long as you don’t go back mad at me again.”

Jace “I won’t.” He smiled, enjoying his pizza.

[badchoicesposts]

Don’t Dream It’s Over Chapter 23

Series Summary: Liam and Ali thought that their relationship was perfect, but their whole world came crashing down when Constantine called him back to Cordonia. Four years later they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party, determined to make things between them work even if it isn’t always easy.

In this AU, Liam and MC (Ali Moonessar) dated for a year in New York while Leo was still crown prince. They broke up when Constantine asked Liam to come back to Cordonia, but they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party before the social season. The story will contain flashbacks, which will be italicized, of their relationship and follow them as they try to navigate the season with Ali as a suitor. I’ve messed around with the timeline a bit so that it fits the story better. I’ve also added in a few OCs of my own.

Pairing: Liam x MC (Ali Moonessar)

DISCLAIMER: I’ve changed up the timeline of the social season a bit to fit my story better. I’ve based it off of some research I did on the British Social Season.

Taglist: @flowerpowell​, @ao719​, @kingliam2019​, @emceesynonymroll​, @hopefulmoonobject​, @dcbbw​, @qammh-blog​, @liamxs-world​, @drakesensworld​, @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction​, @lauradowning29​, @texaskitten30​, @senseofduties​, @alexintheskyy​, @jared2612​, @lodberg​

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve ever written. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to read more. I thrive on validation, lol. Thanks for reading!

Catch Up: Masterlist

Ali felt great. The sugary cocktail she had with dinner was definitely making her feel amazing. She swung her hips to the music that was playing through the speakers of Liam’s living room, aware of the man’s gaze on her back. She listened intently to the music, waiting for her cue. 

“I get wings to fly

Oh, oh....I'm alive”

She belted out the words, her voice mixing in with Celine Dion’s as she turned dramatically on her heels to face her boyfriend. Liam bit back a laugh, staring at her fondly as she continued to serenade him. 

“When you call on me”

She followed this line by pointing aggressively in his direction. 

“When I hear you breathe

I get wings to fly

I feel that I'm alive” 

She continued to sing and dance, her voice becoming more off key the louder she got. 

“Liam! Sing with me!” she said, lunging towards him and grabbing his hands in hers. 

She pulled him up to his feet, losing balance herself for a moment before he straightened them both up.

“I’m not sure you want that, love,” he responded, smiling happily down at her.

“Please?” she begged, pushing herself up onto her toes to gently peck his lips. 

Liam looked around sheepishly for a moment as if to make sure no one was around before giving her a mischievous smile. 

“You've set my heart on fire

Filled me with love

Made me a woman on clouds above”

“What are the two of you doing?” Drake asked.

Neither of them had realized that he was home, but he had obviously just come out of his room and was looking at them like they were crazy.

“Having fun,” Ali responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“And singing completely off key is fun?”

“Extremely,” Liam replied calmly.

“Liam, harmonize with me. You go high, I’ll go low,” Ali said, preparing herself for the upcoming chorus. 

“And it's only begun

I can't wait for the

Rest of my life”

They sang together, Liam’s voice cracking as he tried to carry out the word “life” in a high note.

“You guys are ridiculous,” Drake mumbled.

~~~

“Do you think Bertrand’s head is going to explode when he finds out about Savannah and the baby?” Ali asked, smoothing down her dress as she waited to enter the ballroom beside Liam. 

“Mine almost did,” Liam responded, straightening his tie. At least now Maxwell’s knowledge of prenatal yoga made sense.

“Do you think Drake’s going to be okay?

“I think Drake’s stubborn and hurt. He’ll be okay, but he’ll need some time. He’ll probably be angry with the Beaumonts for a while,” he said, reaching up to fix the tiara on her head.

It was Ali’s first time wearing a tiara, and it was completely odd to her. The weight on her head wasn’t unpleasant, but it was definitely something she would need to get accustomed to. 

She grabbed onto Liam’s arms and pulled him in for a gentle kiss, thankful for smudge proof lipstick.

“I’m nervous,” she confessed, her eyes darting towards the closed ballroom doors. “Actually nervous is an understatement. I’m terrified.”

After announcing their marriage, the two had been met with a certain lack of support. People were shocked, assuming that they had only done so because of the pregnancy and that they were irresponsible and incapable of properly leading because of their rash decision. Ali couldn’t even deny that they were partially right. Their marriage was rushed because of the pregnancy. A part of her felt guilty for the way people were beginning to view Liam’s potential as a leader. 

She couldn’t even be mad about the negative reactions that they received. From the outside looking in, they seemed reckless. She was an American with no noble blood in her at all. She wasn’t born into this life or trained for it, and scandals seemed to be the only thing she was good for. If she had seen the future leaders of her country act in the same way she and Liam had, she would have doubted their abilities to lead as well. That was probably the toughest part of it all. Their concerns were completely warranted. 

Liam reached down and squeezed her hand in his. She could tell that the entire situation had been taking a toll on him. He refused to admit it, though, and that worried her. Learning of Constantine’s betrayal and illness had done little to help the situation. He was torn between hating his father for his interference in their relationship and wanting to spend as much time with him as possible now that he knew he was dying. She could see him getting more and more worn down and dejected as the days moved on, but she didn’t know how to fix everything, and that killed her inside. It didn’t help that her emotions had been all over the place, and that the littlest things had been triggering her recently. She had been snapping at him more recently, leaving both of them frustrated and anxious all of the time.

“Whatever happens, we’ll face it together,” he reassured her. 

She desperately wanted his words to make her feel better, but they didn’t. 

“It’s time, my love,” he said, checking the time on his watch and returning to his spot next to her. 

They both straightened their posture, and Ali took his arm as the doors were thrown open. They made their way around the room, greeting everyone they met with artificial smiles. Although the ball had been planned perfectly down to the napkin selection, there was still an air of discomfort surrounding it all. However, Ali remained dutifully at Liam’s side, making small talk with all of the people she came across. 

“My love, this is King Bradshaw and Queen Isabella of Auvernal,” Liam introduced her politely. 

Ali had just about reached her limit on pointless conversation with people who obviously didn’t respect her, but she still smiled at the stuffy looking royal couple regardless. 

“Lady Alison, we meet at last. We’ve heard rumors of you all the way in Auvernal. Our entire court has been… intrigued by you all season,” said Isabella, who was sporting a small baby bump herself.

Ali wasn’t sure if her words were meant to be taken as a compliment or an insult, but the young queen’s tone of voice made her believe it was the latter. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet the both of you,” Ali responded. “I believe congratulations are in order. You’re having twins, correct?” 

“We are,” Bradshaw said proudly. 

The king beamed at the mention of his unborn children, but Ali had been learning more about body language from Liam, and she noticed the way he tensed every time he looked to his wife. 

“I believe we should be offering you congratulations as well given your… situation,” Isabella said. 

Ali had to stop herself from outwardly reacting, instead continuing to smile politely.

“Thank you.” 

“We were obviously surprised to hear of your marriage, but I applaud your bravery in going through with it in the first place. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to have conceived the heir to the throne out of wedlock! But, even I have to admit that going from a waitress to a duchess and eventually to a queen is quite a success story,” she continued, a judgmental edge to her voice. “Tell me, are you enjoying your new life or do you miss your simpler days?”

At this remark, Ali could see Liam beginning to get uncomfortable as well. 

“I am honored to be able to represent Cordonia.”

“Such a diplomatic response. However, you didn’t really answer the question,” Isabella said. 

“Regardless of your answer, you definitely know how to throw together a party,” Bradshaw said, swiftly changing the subject.

Once again she wasn’t sure if this was meant to be a compliment or not. She supposed she should be grateful that he changed the subject before she was forced to answer his wife’s demeaning question, but instead she was angry. She was angry at Isabella’s words, and she was angry that Bradshaw reduced all of her hard work to “throwing together a party”. She was so upset that she almost missed the glare Isabella shot in his direction. Almost. Perhaps the King and Queen of Auvernal weren’t as happily married as everyone thought. 

“Yes, at least I’m good for something,” she responded snarkily.

“Well, we won’t keep you from the rest of your guests any longer. It was a pleasure meeting you!” Bradshaw said, holding his arm out for his wife and walking away.

He was obviously satisfied with the reaction they had gotten out of her. 

“Ali,” Liam began to say her name before she cut him off with a fake smile.

“Oh! Look! There’s Em with Hana and Lizzie. I’m going to go say hi,” she said, dodging him and heading straight for the three women.

“Hey, you did a great job with all of this!” Emma said happily as she approached. 

Emma had decided to stay in Cordonia “so she could attend the ball”, but Ali had her suspicions that it was more for the woman whose hand she was currently holding onto. Ali was happy for her and Hana even if they hadn’t put a label on their relationship yet.

“Yeah, great champagne choice,” Lizzie said, raising her glass to her before downing the whole thing in one go. 

“Thanks. I’m about one more conversation away from screaming,” she said, angrily running her hand through her hair. “Queen Isabella is a bitch.” 

“King Bradshaw isn’t much better,” Lizzie mumbled. 

“Is this really my life now? Making small talk with people who hate me? Smiling while people insult me to my face?” she asked tiredly.

“It’ll get easier,” Hana said sympathetically. “Once you’re queen and people see how great you are things’ll get better.” 

“And remember the reason you did all of this in the first place was because of how much you love Liam,” Emma said.

“And now you have another little one to love, too,” Lizzie said this while placing a hand gently on Ali’s stomach. 

Ali let out a sigh, relaxing visibly. 

“Thanks, guys,” she said, pulling the three of them into a group hug.

All of her stress evaporated from her body and for a moment she felt like she could breathe again. 

“Lady Alison?” a soft voice came from behind them. 

Ali pulled out of the hug and turned to see another woman smiling at her kindly. 

“I’m Princess Marguerite of Monaco. It’s nice to finally meet you,” the woman said. 

“Princess Marguerite! It’s nice to meet you as well!” Ali responded, putting her persona back up. 

“I imagine this could be a bit much for you. Most of us were raised for all of this,” Marguerite began. 

Ali inwardly sighed, psyching herself up for this conversation all over again. 

“I want you to know, if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, you can ask me anything!” 

Ali was taken aback by the kindness in her voice. Marguerite seemed genuinely sincere, and for a moment, Ali wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Thank you,” she whispered, suddenly overcome with emotion. 

It was relieving to have someone be so nice for the first time that night.

“Of course! I adore you and Liam. The way you look at each other… I can just tell it’s true love!”

“It is,” Ali responded, smiling widely and resting a hand lovingly on her stomach. 

However, the one moment of happiness that she’d had all night was over just as quickly as it came. The voices of two noble ladies conversing nearby filled the air.

“True love? Please, more like social climbing,” a woman with platinum blonde hair said with a scoff. 

“I thought Prince Liam had more common sense. I can’t believe he actually married her. He should have chosen Madeleine. If it came down to it, I would have even taken Penelope over her,” her companion replied. 

Ali was both offended for herself and for Penelope.

“He probably only did it because of the baby. I can’t see him being with her for any other reason. There’s not much to like, is there?” the first woman said, laughing maliciously.

Ali bit down roughly on her lip, and her eyes filled with tears. She saw Marguerite shoot her a sympathetic smile, but the action did very little to comfort her.

“He can’t possibly believe it’s actually his,” the second responded, scandalized. “Oh, he’s going to be so heart broken when it comes out looking like his best friend.”

“Can we even be sure it’s Drake Walker’s either? I wouldn’t be surprised if she was sleeping with half the men at court. She seems like the type.” 

The two women dissolved into a fit of laughter, both completely aware that Ali and Marguerite had heard their conversation, but neither one of them caring. 

“That’s hilarious coming from you, Beatrice,” Olivia’s loud voice broke through their giggles. “Tell me, does Lady Antionette know that you spend every weekend in her husband’s bed?”

Lady Beatrice, the woman with the blonde hair, opened and closed her mouth furiously, desperately trying to find a comeback, while her companion, Lady Antionette, was looking at her friend in shock and anger.

“Maybe you should take a look in the mirror before you start criticizing someone else,” Olivia concluded, a victorious smirk on her face. 

Ali shot her a grateful smile and quietly slipped away, Beatrice and Antionette’s newly started argument fading into the background. She kept her head down as she tried to find her way out of the ballroom undetected, desperate to make it outside before she broke down in tears. She broke into a run once she had made it safely outside, not stopping until she reached the gardens Liam’s mother had commissioned all those years ago. She collapsed on a bench and began sobbing freely, pushing her glasses up to rest on the top of her head as she angrily wiped her eyes.

Only moments after, she felt a presence nearby, and someone took a seat cautiously on the bench next to her.

“There, there,” Bertrand tried to say in a soothing tone as he awkwardly patted her shoulder. 

Despite herself, Ali couldn’t help the amusement she felt at his actions.

“D-did you just p-pat my shoulder and say ‘there there’?” she choked out, an odd chuckle escaping her throat. 

Bertrand sat stiffly beside her and cleared his throat. 

“You seemed to be in need of comfort,” he said, obviously unsettled by the situation. 

Ali smiled sadly. 

“Well, thank you,” she said, wiping her eyes and resting her head against his shoulder. 

Bertrand’s body stiffened initially, but after a moment he relaxed again. The two sat quietly for a moment, Ali’s occasional sniffles were the only sounds filling the air. 

“Have you spoken to Savannah yet?” she asked quietly. 

Bertrand cleared his throat again. 

“Briefly.”

“Briefly? That’s all you’re going to say?” she asked, raising her head up to look at him. 

“I was surprised to learn of her reasons for leaving,” he continued. 

Ali remained silent for a moment, expecting him to go on. However, he simply sat there quietly, as if the conversation were over. 

“And… you’re okay?” she prompted. 

Bertrand still remained quiet, but he began fiddling with his cufflinks. 

“I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“I’m a father,” he said in shock. 

“Yeah, you are, and you should talk to Savannah about that.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to. Look, I don’t know what happened between the two of you or how you feel about each other, but it’s not just about you guys anymore. You need to think about your son. Do you really want to be an absentee father?”

“No,” he replied sadly. 

This was the first time Ali had ever seen Bertrand actually show any kind of strong emotion that didn’t revolve around court or preserving House Beaumont. 

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted their moment. They both turned to see Drake standing nearby. 

“Liam’s looking for you,” Drake said, his voice was harsh as he glared at Bertrand, but Ali knew that he was directing the comment at her. 

She got up from her spot on the bench and shot Drake a look telling him to be nice before slowly making her way back to the ballroom. Internally she was battling with taking as long as possible to get back, maybe stopping to take a stroll through the maze, and heading straight to find Liam. She didn’t want to keep him waiting too long, but she also had no desire to go back to the party that was causing her so much stress. Eventually she figured it was better to bite the bullet and get it over with, trying to make herself look pleasant as she reentered the room and scanned the area for Liam. 

The man spotted her immediately and walked over to her, not noticing her foul mood until he had already pulled her onto the dancefloor. 

“What’s troubling you?” he asked, concern filling his voice as he led her in a waltz. 

“Nothing,” she tried to say convincingly, plastering a wide and artificial looking smile on her face. 

“I can tell that something’s bothering you,” Liam sighed, pulling her closer to him in attempts to comfort her even though he wasn’t sure what was going on. “Please don’t shut me out.”

“Not here,” she finally responded, looking over his shoulder to see Bradshaw and Isabella dancing behind them and another lord and lady right beside them. 

Liam pulled her impossibly close, halting their waltz and simply letting their bodies sway together. Ali pushed her face into his shoulder, not caring that their display of affection would be all over the news tomorrow, and needing to feel him close to her. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she desperately tried to hold them back, not wanting to cry in front of the entire court. That would definitely make the news. She sniffled softly and tried to channel the confidence she had felt just a week earlier in Constantine’s office.

The song came to an end, and they separated after a moment. Liam remained by his wife’s side for the rest of the night, the two only parting ways momentarily after the ball when Liam needed to check in with Constantine. 

Ali made a quick stop at the kitchens on her way back up to their newly shared suite, snatching an apple for a late night snack. Upon entering their room she promptly stripped out of her gown and jewelry and dropped back onto the bed in her underwear, taking a large bite out of the apple. 

Liam looked at her curiously as he entered the room while loosening his bowtie. 

“Are you eating a Cordonian Ruby? I thought you hated them.”

“I do, but apparently your baby doesn’t,” she grumbled, continuing to munch on the apple. 

For the past week, much to her initial displeasure, she had been constantly craving Cordonian Rubies. This was definitely Liam’s child.

Liam smiled as he watched her devour the fruit. He continued to undress with a small but troubled smile on his face before settling down onto the bed beside her. He lay on his side and placed a hand gently on her bare stomach, unsure of how to ask about what was bothering her. 

“My love.” “Li.”

They spoke in unison, breaking off into a soft laugh when they realized what they had just done. 

“What’s on your mind, love?” Liam asked softly.

Ali struggled with her words for a moment.

“Tonight was… awful. Everyone thinks I’m a joke. To them I’m just a social climbing whore, and they think that our baby isn’t yours,” she said, her voice cracking as she got to the end of her sentence.

The anguish on his face was evident. However, in typical Liam fashion, he began to reason with her.

“I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you, but we both know the truth, love,” he began, gently running his hand up and down her stomach. “I know that this is our child, and I already love them so much. I know that you weren’t using me. I know how we feel about each other.”

Ali sighed angrily, tears streaming down her face as she moved away from his grasp. She was angry and frustrated about how people were treating her, and she was just as upset about how they were treating him. She was tired of him trying to be reasonable when she knew that he was being affected just as much as she was. Liam had a tendency of bottling up his emotions and shutting her out, until he finally snapped. This was exactly what he had done at the beginning of the social season when the rumors about her and Drake had started going around. It was what had led to their misunderstanding in Lythikos. 

“Yeah, it’s difficult for me. It’s awful and terrible, and I hate feeling like this, but it’s difficult for you too. Liam, people are just as upset with you as they are with me. I know you’ve seen the things they’ve said about you, and I know it’s been bothering you!”

He remained silent after her sudden outburst, turning to lay on his back as he stared up at the ceiling. Ali deflated at his silence, feeling guilty for taking her frustrations out on him. 

“I’m sorry for losing it like that. I’m just worried about you. I’m worried about us. Everyone loved you and believed in you before I came along. I can see how upset you’ve been recently, and I hate that. I hate that I can’t make all of this stop, that I can’t fix things for you. I feel like this is all my fault, and I don’t want to you to end up resenting me for it,” she confessed, nervously tugging at her bra strap. 

“You’re right. It has been bothering me. But, I don’t blame you for this. We both chose to have sex the night of the bachelor party. The way things worked out haven’t been… ideal, but what’s done is done. I love you. I love our child, and that’s all that matters,” he said, turning back to her. 

“But, it’s not all that matters. Li, we have a whole country to worry about too. So many things are changing right now, for the both of us, and we haven’t been handling it well. I hate arguing with you, and I’m so sorry that I’ve been so snappy recently, but there’s just so much going on,” she continued. “I love you so much, but I’m scared that if we continue on the way that we are we’ll just constantly be at each other’s throats by the time the baby comes and this beautiful thing that we’re supposed to love with all of our hearts will end up getting hurt because of it.”

“What do you think we should do?” he asked, his tone both sincere and worried at the same time.

“I-I think we should talk to someone,” she said nervously, resting a hand on his bare chest. 

“Talk to someone?” 

“A therapist. I think it could help us. The both of us,” she clarified, keeping her voice strong this time. 

Liam seemed unsure of the idea. 

“I know that it’s a big decision to make, especially since you’ve never done it before, and I don’t want to force you into it. But, I think we could benefit from a few sessions together and maybe a few solo ones too.”

Liam rested his hand on top of hers and took a deep breath. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“If you truly think that it’ll help, then I’m willing to give it a try,” he said, smiling softly. 

Ali laid down next to him, cuddling close to his chest. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, as he kissed the top of her head lovingly

[praphit]

Horse Girl: What happened to white Darren?!

So, I had someone else pick the movie. Whenever others are involved, you gotta have them pick, so that if it's bad, you can blame them. That's how we come to "Horse Girl"!

I went into it cold. All I knew was that Alison Brie is in it, and I'm here for all things Alison Brie. 

With a name like "Horse Girl", I thought there was a slim chance that it might end up being a superhero flick. Alison is finally getting her own solo comic book hero franchise. Perhaps she'll have powers similar to Aquaman, but instead of sea creatures, she talks to horses.

I thought that perhaps she'd have the power to turn into a horse; kinda like that movie "Tusk". Have any of y'all ever watched "Tusk"? 

Yeah, don't watch that movie; it's awful. 

In retrospect, I still don't know why this movie is called "Horse Girl". There is a horse in the movie, but... idk. Plus, shouldn't it really be "Horse Woman"? I do believe that Alison Brie is around my age. But, maybe it's a PR move. Spider-Man, in many adaptations, is really a teenager, but referring to himself as a man. Which is good, cuz I don't want to be rescued by a "Spider-Boy"; having a teenage boy flick things out of his body in order to save me? - I can't get behind that.

"Horse Girl", I can work with, cuz I'm thinking she's fresh to the hero game, unjaded, and has a real future in front of her... maybe one that involves a better code name. 

(Look how happy she is... a real go-getter. I question her horse selection though, but she’ll learn. That horse has def been into the stuff.”

"Horse Woman" has already made her bad choices. She's used up. Frankly, I don't have a whole lot of confidence in her.

The beginning of this movie is very girlie. Do I mean that in a bad way? - not necessarily; it's just a fact. Kinda like, um... "Jane the Virgin". 

Nothing wrong with that show (I guess... I’ve never seen it), but I can't imagine a group of men getting together to watch it.  "Yo, y'all ready to watch a lil Jane the V?! Maybe she gonna pop that cherry tonight, man! She might just pop it! Yeah!"

Is that what the show is about? Her trying desperately each week for love or lust, and neither ever coming her way? What a sad show. But, I hear it's good, just girlie.

Meanwhile, I'm enduring the girliness of Alison Brie's fabric store, zumba sessions, bracelet making time, crying in the shower time, and upbeat convos with girl friends. I'm thinking to myself "When is she going to have her superhero origin moment?" Where's the vat of toxic waste that she falls into? 

Have a radioactive horse gnaw on her! Where's the villain?! Where's the fight?! Let's go!

She does have a bitchy roommate and her tool of a boyfriend. Apparently, her roommate thinks that Alison's life style is pathetic: working at a fabric store and home to watch her favorite supernatural cop show (every day). Every now and then, she pesters some horse, its caretakers, and some young girl who rides the horse (I know what you're thinking - “Maybe this young girl will end up being the legendary “HORSE GIRL". Nope. Again, I don't understand the choice of title for this movie). Her bitchy roommate's judgmental pestering does lead to a fling for Alison. A man by the name of "Darren".

He looks more like a "Dave" to me. Or a “Ken”.  I wish he had a different name; he probably wishes the same. White Darrens... just... no.

A nice guy, but he's one of those people who should really end their thoughts in convo a few paragraphs earlier. Socially, he’s like a quicksand of blah. A cake with “meh” icing - I blame his name, mostly for this.  And his dancing... goodness gracious! He dances like he’s being attacked by hornets.

Though Alison's dancing isn't anything to brag about either. She dances like she’s riding a bull.

But, you can't be a white Darren and dance like that; you've either got to get lessons or make a promise to humanity to never dance. Alison's beautiful. Pretty women can get away with being horrible dancers. In fact, I think it might make them more attractive. 

"You know, Alison, you're a 10. I didn't think I had a chance with you, until I saw you dance."

So far, I don't know what type of movie this is. Is it a romantic comedy? - not really, though it has funny moments in it. Superhero flick (I know that was a long shot)? Nope. 

It's too quirky to be a drama. 

Horror? There are some moments where Alison is sleep walking. I kept hoping that we'd get a scene where she's in the shadows holding an ax. Yes, Alison! Kill! Kill them! - but again, no.

The movie starts going in a mental illness direction. Alison Brie's character slowly starts to lose her mind. We learn that it's possibly something that runs in the family. Those of you who know me, know that I'm a big advocate for mental health care & mental illness awareness. I probably would have really connected with this movie on that level, if it was directed better. There's just too much artsy, wackiness smeared over this movie. I love the idea of this film and I love what the director was going for in many parts, but... idk.

There's a great cast here. Not only Alison Brie, but Molly Shannon... or do I have those two fist names backwards?  You know her... "Superstar".

Wait... that’ not right - that’s what popped up though. To my knowledge she has never played Jesus Christ in a musical.  Back in the day, she starred in a comedy from... wait a sec...

- you know what?? - it doesn’t matter. Maybe you don't know her anyway.  She's good in this; though it's a minor role. 

Aaaah, there she is.

Got my man Paul what's-his-face up in here! That’s my main man!

Who... um...  y’all probably don’t know either. To be honest, I barely know these people. What am I doing?

I’m trying to say that the acting talent is here! - regardless if you know peeps like Paul what’s-his-face or not. And the bitchy roommate and her annoying boyfriend really made me hate them, so that's points for their acting, I suppose.

This could have been a thoughtful drama about mental illness, with comedy sprinkled in, and making a point. The movie/Tv landscape needs more stuff like that (especially these days, with people losing it, during this pandemic).

It seems like the director was going more for "creative genius" acclaim. Unfortunately, he missed the mark, by a lot. Again, I saw what he (I'm assuming it's a he - I don't actually know) was going for, and there are some really creative parts here, but... the message is a bit muddy, and the pacing is rough at best (not unlike this post).

. You know what, I'm going to go ahead and say it's a man who directed this, because there's a nude scene from Alison Brie that doesn't really need to be there. The director is trying to show the mental collapse of this woman, and... you know... when people lose their minds, they tend to walk through their place of business naked. I'm sure that most male directors would have all main actresses have a similar scene, if they thought that they could get away with it. Picture "The Avengers" director -

"I really think that Scarjo needs to be nude in this scene.” 

“Maybe she's in the shower, when her team calls for help. She's so dedicated that she doesn't have time to put on clothes. It'll be a powerful scene. Trust me. Really zoom-in. Annnnd ACTION!"

That scene with Alison Brie is not terrible. Maybe I'm nitpicking.

It would have been a better use of Alison Brie's acting chops to have her walk in looking rough (maybe scantily clad... or in her underwear, if you must), but here could have been some of those artsy shots while she's walking around the store in a bit of a fugue state (if you do that butt-neked, it'll seem gratuitous). But, maybe have her say and do some things that have been building up through the movie, for an Oscar-Nudging climax, and emotional scene of her losing her grip on reality. But, far be it from me to be a backseat director. I'm just a rambling praphit. Just have her jiggle in, cry, and jiggle out. That's better.

Grade: an interesting D 

I'm glad that I watched it, because there are a lot of good ideas here, but... you know.

Of course, maybe she's not crazy after all. Things go super wacky towards the end. Something about aliens and clones. Oh, and she does technically get a superhero outfit.

Looking like a Power Ranger for some reason. 

There’s also a scene where she (as a Pink Power Ranger) gets it on with white Darren... like out of nowhere. But, did that even happen? Idk.

Was it all in her head? Was the reality of the sitch, that she broke into white Darren’s place, wrapped in pink fabric, and tried to dry-hump white Darren, while he was sleeping? Then, IN HER HEAD, he thinks that’s hot. She only THINKS that they got it on. In reality, he refused her crazy advances, and as a result, she kills him. She beheads him... with a spoon or something. The director is strange, so why not?? Or maybe she takes him (or his head) away as some alien sacrifice. It’s really weird, because after their “ sexy time” the movie just kinda moves on from him. It’s very awkward. 

What happened to white Darren?! What was real?! Who knows??

Things get crazier and crazier, until... I don't even know what happened. I guess they're leaving it up to the audience to decide whether or not it's all true or she’s crazy. It's hard to tell, sometimes, whether you've got a clever ending on your hands or a lazy director, who decides "Hey, let's do something really weird in the last scene

and then just... kinda... end."

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 25 Review: The No-No Generation

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Welcome back to my Garden of Evil, where I analyze and snark on Strange Paradise for fun and...well, just fun, really. This week, we will conclude our deep dive into Week 5 with a review of Friday’s episode, in which THE DEVIL JACQUES ELOI DES MONDES continues his seduction of Elizabeth Marshall while inside the body of Jean Paul Desmond.

Night on Maljardin. As Jean Paul drinks in the Great Hall and lightning flashes outside, Raxl draws tarot cards in the Not-So-Hidden Temple of the Serpent.

Here are the cards that she pulls, flipped upside-down to show them from her perspective:

We know from previous episodes that the Knight of Coins/Pentacles is Dan and the Queen of Cups represents one of the women on Maljardin (Matt believes it to be Holly, but he could be wrong). We have also seen the King of Wands used to represent Jean Paul before, but King of Cups arguably fits him better because his constant wallowing in self-pity is a negative water/cups trait. The Queen of Wands represents a woman who plays a supporting, managerial role (sounds like Alison). The Page of Coins is a young person who is observing and learning how to make it in the world (could be Tim or Holly).

The rest probably don't represent specific characters, but instead relate to the situation. The Justice card means exactly what its name implies. Ten of Wands "represents an all-out effort, an obsessive commitment to a task which demands everything you've got.” The Seven of Wands normally refers to a situation where confrontation and daring are necessary, but it is reversed here, suggesting failure, defeat, and even scandal; this seems to imply that Jean Paul will be defeated and/or that his activities on Maljardin will cause the scandal that he fears. The Eight of Coins is about workaholism and may have to do with anyone currently working on Maljardin (Raxl, Quito, Alison, Tim, or Matt).

The Five of Cups is an interesting card: it might refer to the impending losses on Maljardin or to any variety of negative emotions, but it is also associated with "Inheritance, suggesting the cross-generational legacy of such tragedies." This reminds me of the parallels between the events so far and what we know of the Maljardin of the 17th century: the deaths of Jean Paul's and Jacques' wives, the seduction of their wives' sisters, the priestess resembling Elizabeth who sacrifices Holly in her dream. In early Maljardin and in the Lost Episodes, Ian Martin consistently drew parallels between the events of 1689 and 1969, so the intended meaning of "cross-generational legacy" seems highly likely.

Also, for those of you wondering, Vangie’s tarot cards in the next scene appear to be the same, just arranged in a different spread. I say “appear” because it’s hard to tell with the lighting and video quality if they are the same cards, although logically they should be.

"If my father's gift is strong in me and if the Great Serpent so wills it," she prays, "may I be lifted to the ancient temple to help in the fight against evil." She lies down in her bed to attempt to teleport herself there and we cut back to the Great Hall.

In the Great Hall, Jean Paul argues with Jacques. Their dialogue somehow sounds even more forced than Jacques’ line about the time clock two episodes ago:

Jacques: "You're very quiet tonight, but not Mother Nature. I wonder what's disturbing her so?" Jean Paul: "Maybe you are. Maybe she's declaring war on all demons." Jacques: "Wooing and warring, a family heritage." [An odd thing to say in this context.] Jean Paul: "I could do without the family heritages and ancestors like you!" [And an equally odd response.] Jacques: "Do without me and you may be doing without yourself. Who knows? You and I could well be one and the same." Jean Paul: "I am NOT a devil!"

Jacques: "Self-declaration, self-incrimination--and don't drink so much. It dulls the senses."

Backacting with the portrait again, I see.

So we get another hint that Jean Paul and Jacques may be the same man, with a very forced-sounding exchange leading up to it that Martin definitely could have written better. Jean Paul gets ready to throw his glass at the portrait (as one does), but can’t because Quito enters with some ice for the next six gin and tonics that he probably originally planned on downing that night.

*Jacques voice* Jean Paul Desmond, has no one ever taught you that people in stone houses shouldn't throw glass? Tsk, tsk…

And now that plan is ruined, too, because Holly comes down the steps and complains to him that she can’t sleep because she keeps having nightmares. (She doesn’t say what about, so I’m going to assume they have to do with either her father or Tarasca again.) Jean Paul offers her some sherry “to sleep and not to dream,” and she responds that the line was one of her father’s favorites from Shakespeare. No, Holly. It’s “to sleep, perchance to dream” not “to sleep and not to dream,” but you were close.

Jean Paul reveals that he, too, couldn’t sleep because of nightmares. “I guess even possessions don’t make a man sleep easy,” Holly replies and, without warning, the portrait disappears and Jacques enters the chat:

Look! The crew actually remembered to remove the portrait this time!

He’s giving her the poison Jean Paul took from the lab!

Holly tells him about how her mother wants to steal her inheritance, and how she intends on taking as much as she can from her in return. (Does that mean you want Jean Paul, too, Holly? Never mind, of course you do.)

Would that be with a W or with a B?

I suspect that Holly wouldn’t know any different.

Meanwhile, on the stairs above, Elizabeth silently observes. But she doesn’t just observe. She observes while wearing a fur-trimmed velvet nightgown and striking a dramatic evil diva pose. As one does.

Wah-wah-WAH-wah-wah...*fade to black*

After the commercial break, Elizabeth overhears Jacques telling Holly that she may learn to love her, because “one who hates can also love.” (Take it from Jacques Eloi des Mondes, murderer and lover extraordinaire.)

“I'm sure my daughter will make an army of fortune-hunters very happy when she does learn,” she, a fortune-hunter herself, interjects. Looking thrilled to see the lovely Tarasca, Jacques welcomes her and offers her a drink:

Jacques: “Some cyanide, perhaps, fresh from the lab?”

Just kidding. It isn’t cyanide; Mrs. Marshall is too much fun for Jacques to kill off, especially this early on. Holly leaves to drink alone in her room and Jacques and Elizabeth get ready to drink to the fact that they’re no longer children, when Holly freaks out over Quito. It turns out he was trying to guard her from the Devil, which amuses dear Jacquet immensely.

You’re so vain, you probably make toasts about you.

After Holly returns to her room, Elizabeth laments the woman “child” Holly become after the death of her father. “Ever since her father died, virtually overnight, she changed from a sweet, shy child into an impossible shrew,” she sneers. “We were really a very happy family before.”

“Holly told me that you did lots of things together, that you traveled a great deal,” says Jacques.

“Yes, of course.” she responds, “Even then, there were signs. The winter before last, she refused to go on vacation with us, wanted to spend Christmas in the cold snow instead of the warm sand. So we went on without her, but, of course, she ruined the trip for us.”

Holly must have had a good reason to stay home in the dreary winter weather rather than go on vacation with her parents; I say that because I, too, am from the north and I, personally, would kill to spend Christmas somewhere warm or at least not snowy. Either that, or Holly is a romantic, holding a sentimentalized view of white Christmases with treetops glistening and children listening to hear sleigh bells in the snow. If that is the case, then...well...I guess it’s nice that she likes snow, because I sure as hell don’t. But really, I’m sure Holly had a damn good reason to avoid Elizabeth.

This is the perfect time to post some photos of Elizabeth’s incredible nightgown. It’s so luxurious, so decadent, so...her.

“How unfortunate,” Jacques responds insincerely.

“Couldn’t we change the topic of conversation from the No-No Generation? I’m very bored with their beads and bells and songs of love.”

The No-No Generation? Now, there’s a name for the Baby Boomers that I’ve never heard elsewhere. Google, too, seems unfamiliar with it: a search for “no-no generation” (with quotes) mostly turns up chemistry papers about nitric oxide. Subtract these and you get only a few more relevant results, one of which is this meme from June 30 of this year. A search for “‘no-no generation’ boomers” yields this cached page mentioning “a vibrant No-No generation in the wake of the 1968 Paris uprising” but that term appears to mostly refer to French rock musicians of the 1960s and 1970s, judging by this other use of the term on the site and this CD listing on another.[1] Considering the dearth of relevant English-language sources using the phrase and considering that Holly isn’t a musician as far as we know, Martin may have come up with the term on his own.

There’s the question of why Elizabeth calls Holly’s generation the “the No-No Generation.” No rules (which, arguably, better describes Generation X)? No interest in the traditions and codes that her and Jean Paul’s generation follow? (Laslo and Irene in the second Desmond Hall arc criticize the Baby Boomers, especially Susan, for that.) No work and no higher education, like the current use of the term in Spain and Brazil? The fact that Holly just didn’t want to go on vacation with her two years earlier? Or, perhaps, all of the above? I’m going to guess all of the above. All the options fit Holly.

So we have learned that Elizabeth disdains Holly’s generation because of their love songs. Even Jacques is taken aback by this, because it implies that she doesn’t believe in love, but she assures him that it’s different because “you and I are old enough to make our own rules.” He gives her a knowing look--as though he knows exactly how old she really is--and places his beringed hand on her shoulder.

That nightgown looks so soft.

Down in the Not-So-Hidden Temple, we pick up right where we left off with Raxl praying to the Serpent for Vangie’s arrival. Before her eyes, the Conjure Woman Chromakeys into the chamber right on top of the Tarot cards, her arms stretching upward:

Weird.

By some miracle, Vangie climbs off the altar without screwing up Raxl’s Tarot spread. But she’s not pleased about arriving on Maljardin where she predicts that she will die, and so she demands to know why Raxl summoned her there. Um, Vangie, don’t you remember earlier in the episode--perhaps minutes before in show time--when you prayed to the Serpent to transport you there? You’re like someone who passes through the turnstile at a metro station, then changes their mind a second later.

While all this is going on, Jacques gleefully drops hint after hint of his true identity:

I’m not sure how much of this is for the audience’s benefit and how much of it is because Jacques thinks everyone else is dumb.

Tarasca: (thinking) “And my name isn’t Elizabeth Marshall.”

We also get this possible shout-out to Dark Shadows:

Back down in the Not-So-Hidden Temple, Vangie helps Raxl interpret the Tarot cards. “Our spirits will be fused through the Tarot cards and the pentagram,” Vangie says. (What was in that tea/potion that Raxl gave her?) Their spirits fused, they try to make sense of the cards’ message:

Raxl: "Do you see what the cards say?" Vangie: "I see two protectors, Matthew Dawson and Dan Forrest."

I assume that the cards she's referencing are the Fool and the Knight of Pentacles, as in previous episodes.

Raxl: *points to Queen of Cups* "But they are not as strong as this one." Vangie: "Who is she?" Raxl: "I cannot tell. Your powers of the cards are much stronger than mine."

They join hands and concentrate on a flame to determine the identity of the Queen of Cups. And then her image appears:

Raxl: "The witch is not..." Vangie: "Yes! The mother of the blonde child, Elizabeth Marshall! Watch her carefully, Raxl. She’s dangerous."

It's odd that Elizabeth of all people should be represented by the upright Queen of Cups, as the descriptions that I’ve read for the card tell of someone with almost the exact opposite personality. According to Tarot.com, this Queen is "a sensitive, vulnerable, omniscient woman who offers unconditional love. She is supremely empathic -- sometimes to a fault. Her caring nature exposes her to everybody else's emotions and needs." Sounds more like Jean Paul’s and Alison’s descriptions of Erica to me, save for the “omniscient” part (which I don’t think is meant to be taken literally).

What’s ironic is that, if the Queen of Cups were reversed, the card would fit Elizabeth well. This page on The Tarot Guide mentions "insecurity, lack of trust…self-centred…smothering, bitter, vengeful, manipulative, spiteful, [and] disloyal” as the reversed Queen’s characteristics. Now that sounds more like the Elizabeth Marshall I know. I suspect that the Queen of Cups was intended to be reversed and its upright position is a blooper.

In the Great Hall, Elizabeth goes to bed and, after some surprisingly not-silly headache faces, Jacques de-possesses Jean Paul. In truth, I’m a little disappointed that he doesn’t clench his teeth or look like he’s about to vomit this time, because I find Colin Fox’s over-the-top headache faces funny. This time, Jean Paul apparently forced him out of his body himself, although how he accomplished this is not explained.

And what exactly did you do, Jean Paul, to force him back into the frame?

Although I know all episodes of this show were rushed to some extent, this one with its abundance of script continuity errors shows more signs of hasty writing than the others. Ironically, they actually remembered to remove Jacques’ portrait from the frame this time when he possesses Jean Paul, which is shocking. Still, despite the rushed-ness of this one, it has provided me with a lot of interesting material to dissect in my deep dive into the bizarre world of Strange Paradise.

Coming up next: Dan and Alison continue their investigation of Erica’s death and Jacques obsesses over a possibly symbolic fish. Also stay tuned for the Bad Subtitle Special for Week 5 next week.

{ <- Previous: Episode 24   ||   Next: Episode 26 -> }

Notes

[1] In France, the term “Génération non non” more often refers to French Millennials of Middle Eastern and African descent who live in the impoverished suburbs or banlieue of French cities. It was popularized in the 2006 song “La Boulette (Génération nan nan)” by French rapper Diam’s.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

Girl Across the Street ~2~

Anon Request(s): “Please I beg of you, could you do a Klaus x reader where the reader is the most hard hitting drug for Klaus if that makes sense. Like they are the one thing that keeps Klaus grounded.” | “can you do a klaus x reader where you help klaus through a rough time and he’s crying and you’re just holding him? Maybe it’s when the reader first tells klaus she loves him and klaus is worried at first, then he gets super happy??”

A/N: Girl Across the Street ~2~ takes place on The Day that Was. Girl Across the Street takes place on The Day that Wasn’t. Essentially, Klaus and the reader reconnecting is a fixed point in time.

A night out. That was all she needed: a simple night out to let loose and forget the stressors that had recently risen due to the increase in activity in her neighborhood following the death of Sir Reginald Hargreeves. Ever since the old man’s death was made public, what came to be known to the world as The Umbrella Academy--the home base of the superpowered teenagers who took the world by storm--was swarming with Hargreeves’ adult, adopted children. In and out they went without a second glance at the house across the street. Anytime she would see one of the famous seven enter or leave the home, (Y/N) couldn’t help but remember all of the times in her youth where she had felt so worthless of attention of her peers, after all they were the only other children in the neighborhood. All those times the siblings had chased after each other toward Griddy’s Doughnut Shop, all those times she’d sat in her bedroom window, longingly gazing out, hoping that someday, one of them would see her, all of those long nights of waiting for something that would never come, everything came over her in the course of, at the very most, three days.

It wasn’t that she was waiting for Luther to give her the time of day, or for Allison to invite her over for tea. No, she had never been close with either Luther or Alison, nor anyone else from the Academy really, with the exception of Klaus. He was only ranked by Reginald Hargreeves to be number four--the fourth most useful and important to the overall mission he believed their lives were destined for, but to (Y/N), he was the only “number one.” She and Klaus had more of a history than any two people could have together. They’d seen one another through the ups and downs, the good and bad, and even worse, the ugly. Klaus was there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on, comforted her when she was in pain, and even helped carry her home once when she nearly broke her ankle running in the streets playing tag with him as kids. He did this because it was exactly the same thing she would do for him. She was always there: easing him back to sleep when the nightmarish figures woke him, setting up fairy lights in his bedroom so that he wouldn’t have to sleep completely in the dark, and most importantly, the core building blocks of their connection to one another, showing up in a cemetery not far from their homes after being woken in the middle of the night by heart wrenching screams.

She didn’t know it was Klaus. Honestly, she didn’t know what the hell to expect. All she did know was that something was wrong, and it seemed to be like a child was in danger. She followed the tormented screams, and as she grew closer, she recognized how similar they sounded to her newly made friend’s. The only thing she had on her was a bobby pin. Her mother had put her hair up in a nice bun for picture day, and (Y/N) had fallen asleep without taking it down. Luckily, she was a smart and ingenuitive nine year old who had practiced picking the lock on on her parents’ room whenever they had something she was grounded from.

It didn’t take but two seconds of seeing the small boy screaming inside to know it was her friend. “Klaus!” she’d called to him. “It’s me!” His screams of terror ceased and overzealous gratitude overcame him. He’d rushed toward the gated entrance to the mausoleum and, in a panicked manner, reached his arms through the bars to make sure she was real and not another one of the souls tormenting him. It was (Y/N) who saved Klaus from the mausoleum that night, (Y/N) who he stayed with afterward--too afraid to go home and too afraid to confront Reginald after escaping his own person hell--and (Y/N) who he would confide his deepest regrets and sorrows in for the remainder of his life. Or so they thought.

Klaus figured out in his early teen years that substances kept him from utilizing his abilities. He was terrified of death and the dead, even before the night he spent locked in a tomb, and if drugs gave him a solace--a sense of freedom from that burden--then drugs it was. (Y/N) however had seen the adverse effects substance abuse has on people. Her own uncle had his own struggles with abusing prescription pills, and as soon as Klaus started going down that road, she tried everything to bring him back. She was terrified of losing him forever to a world that didn’t allow for any grounded distractions, but regardless of her fears, Klaus fell hard.

By the time he was eighteen, he’d been kicked out of the Academy, been in and out of rehab at least twice, and--for someone so terrified of death--seemed to have an apathy toward life. Even though (Y/N) went to college, she didn’t go very far. She managed to continue her education close to her home. Maybe it was in the hopes of Klaus realizing she wasn’t going anywhere, or maybe it was in hopes of bringing him back from a void she didn’t know if he could escape from, but she remained close nonetheless. Despite being close geographically, her and Klaus began to drift emotionally. He always seemed to be going and doing--drugs or people, she didn’t know which--and frankly, she knew it would break her heart if she did. On some level, Klaus did too. He refused to let himself hurt the only person who had never hurt him. She did nothing to deserve the heartache and worry that came with being friends with Klaus Hargreeves in his adult life, and he made sure that she would never have to endure that pain--or he tried to. He didn’t know anyone else who had shown such an unconditional detail for care and affection, a person who even if everything had gone to shit would still be by his side, and so he made (Y/N) his emergency contact. Sure this put himself in some awkward situations such as prison phone calls and hospital visits, but he at least got to see her reassuring face again--even if it was covered up with the biggest fake-ass smile he knew she could muster.

(Y/N) hated night clubs, but she needed to go somewhere so completely unnatural for her to be in order to shake the feeling of regret from her soul. She needed to be somewhere that she felt so incredibly uncomfortable that she had no other option but to be forced into focusing on adapting rather than the pain she held in her heart that was ignited the first time she saw the tall man she’d known as a child traipse into the Academy two days ago. All in all, her experience at the beginning of the night wasn’t too bad. She’d gotten herself a few drinks, received a few more from drunks hoping to hit on her, was saved by a few kind girls watching the unwanted attention escalate, bought them a round, and then continued to drink. It was a regular night out until a familiar face stumbled past her in a haze, searching for the tallest surface in the club.

“What the fuck?” she had asked herself as she tried to focus on the six-foot-four man tripping over his own feet and knocking over a couples’ drinks. “Sorry about that,” (Y/N) had hurried to apologize to the young couple while following after the man she could only assume grew up to be Luther Hargreeves. 

She hadn’t seen or heard of him since the press announced he would be traveling to he moon to collect samples to determine the possibility for habitation, but in all honesty, Luther never gave her much attention even as children. When (Y/N) did join the others at Griddy’s, she always bonded with Klaus--her best friend, and Five--her intellectual equal. She’d felt Allison didn’t want her presence to be a constant thing and always maintained a close radius to Luther whenever (Y/N) did show, Vanya was always kind to her, but the others never really interacted with her much other than to include her in group conversation topics, Ben was painfully shy and apprehensive about meeting new people--which Klaus explained was because he didn’t have full control over his powers and was afraid of hurting innocent people--and Diego didn’t like putting himself in new situations as a kid. Before they became teens and even pre-teens, Diego’s stutter impaired his confidence levels, so he didn’t like having to feel different to new people.

(Y/N) followed the man toward the bar where someone approached him, took his hand in his, and slipped something off in that single handshake. Once catching up to him, she grabbed his arm in her hand--only managing to wrap her fingers partially around his wrist--before turning him around and forcing him to look at her. “Luther?” she demanded.

“Neighbor girl!” he slurred while swaying his weight back and forth in an attempt to remain balanced.

“(Y/N),” she corrected him dryly.

“Hey, neighbor girl, did my brother follow me?” Luther asked while crouching down to her level and attempting to whisper. His voice was still heavy, but in a slightly lower tone, and his break reeked of Mai Thais and Pina Coladas.

“How should I know?” she asked while trying to ensure the drunk man before her wouldn’t wander off. “You’ve got four.”

“That one!! Four,” Luther stammered while his drunk and displaced self began to bounce energetically to the music.

“Klaus? How would I know if Klaus followed you?” She’d left her home to come to a place she would have to leave her concerns for Klaus behind, to focus on anything but that damned soul that marked hers, and here was his goody-two-shoes brother, drunk off his ass, high as a kite, bringing up Klaus.

“You two...you know,” he said in an empty tone before folding his lips over and pointing to his crotch, all while smirking in an attempt to hide his laugh. (Y/N) rolled her eyes and started to walk away, only to hear Luther boom out to her “Neighbor girl, don’t leave!” (Y/N) was past the part in her life that she felt she needed to be accepted by everyone, and so she continued walking. Sometimes walking away is the best for us, she reminded herself as she reached the entrance of the club.

A blink. Everything happened in the single blink she tried to take to push away the dreadful feeling of unimportance, of abandonment. A shoulder came bearing down into her arm as someone stumbled from being shoved into the club. She grasped her arm as a dull pain began to ignite the fire in her core and the anger began to seep from her.

“Look, I’ve already had a shit night so back up!” she snapped at the poor, unassuming individual before her. He was bent over holding his hands palms up in an apologetic motion. Once (Y/N) caught a glimpse at the man’s gesture, she knew she had made a mistake. Tattoos lined his palms: the right reading ‘hello’ and the left reading ‘good bye.’ Klaus had gotten those exact tattoos sometime in their youth before he was kicked out of the Academy. (Y/N) had always wondered why he had them or why he would want them. He always said some Klaus-like shit about him basically being a human Ouiji board and laughed it off, but (Y/N) always suspected Reginald had them put on his son, just like he put the umbrella on all of his children.

“(Y/N)?” Klaus asked while taking in the woman’s appearance. (Y/N) wasn’t really one for dresses and girly clothes. She preferred darker colors, black, layered outfits, and denim jackets. Even now, after all the years between their genuine interactions with one another, that rang true. Her legs fell like graceful waterfalls of dark denim, her torso was covered with a black crop-top, and her hair was as he remembered it--naturally unkempt. She’d always complained about not being able to do her hair and so she normally would only brush it or put it half-up to make it look as if she was trying. Klaus had never cared. He didn’t look for arbitrary things such as the time it takes to get ready in the morning, rather he cared about the soul behind the fleshy exterior.

“Klaus,” she sighed in an almost disappointed voice that he quickly noticed. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn’t. She was wanting this to happen somehow--maybe like it had when they were kids: he would notice her in the empty house and come in to reconnect--but in the middle of a rave as she desperately wanted to go home was not how she pictured it. She tried to offer a soft smile to him before turning toward the exit again.

Don’t let her leave, Klaus heard over his shoulder as Ben loomed, overlooking their interaction.

“She hates me. After what I did, she deserves to,” Klaus said as if he were talking to anyone standing in front of him.

You know you need her help. Don’t let her leave, Ben repeated. Klaus had to admit that Ben’s Jimminy Cricket moments were beginning to aggravate the shit out of him, but he trusted Ben’s judgement rather than his own, especially as his withdrawals began to escalate at the quick availability of drugs surrounding him.

“(Y/N) wait,” he called out to her and gently grabbed her fingers in his hand.

It wasn’t the first time Klaus had held someone’s hand, nor was it the first time he’d fallen asleep and woken up in someone else’s bed, but  it was the first time he’d held someone who cared for him, the first time he’d woken up next to someone knowing he wouldn’t have to be rushed away and forgotten about. It was the first time he’d been with someone in any sense of intimacy that wasn’t related to sex--the first time he knew he could be intimate with a person without having to rush into sex. Her hands weren’t soft or delicate. They were cold, calloused, and dry, and it only made him want to hold them longer--to warm them and show (Y/N) how thankful he was to have her in his life.

They were only seventeen and each of them had their own demons to wrestle. Klaus was coping with his, despite how unhealthy it was, and how much it hurt (Y/N), but hers were only being amplified each time she saw him. He was laying with one arm tucked beneath her and the other draped across her stomach, tracing light patterns on her lower ribs. His head was curled up between her arm and her chest, and she rested her cheek against his gently as their legs remained draped over the other’s. For once he was peaceful, feeling her heart beat beneath his cheek, seeing the rise and fall motion of her body, listening to the soft murmur her breaths made. Everything that eased him were signs of life, signs of a life he wanted to keep with him forever, signs of a life he was slowly destroying.

The second he thought of the possibility of losing (Y/N), Klaus untangled himself from her and leaned over to search the pants he had thrown to the floor the day before; sure he enjoyed the ability of being intimate with someone--knowing their heart as if it was your own and giving yours to them to mould as well--but he also loved the physical release, the animal magnetism, and the intimacy of sharing the physical and worldly insecurities with one another as well. (Y/N) was the perfect person for him: caring, compassionate, and patient, yet firm, dedicated, and unyielding. He needed a gentle stability that wasn’t going to put up with his bullshit but would also see when he masked his pain in humor, and he had found that in (Y/N), the girl across the street. He was terrified of losing her, of not being enough, or being too much, of losing her interest, of everything that could possibly happen to keep him from maintaining the state of bliss she had helped him achieve. When she was around, he was safe. When she was around, the voices were gone. When he contemplated his life without her, they attacked.

He slipped his hands inside the pockets of his pants and grabbed a lighter and a joint.

“Really, Klaus?” (Y/N) sighed as she watching him hold the joint in his mouth and light it. “What is it this time?” she tried to mask her disappointment with concern.

“N-nothing,” he said through breaths.

“If nothing is wrong, am I not enough?” she questioned. She had sat on that monstrosity of guilt for too long and supposed it came out in her concern. She could see his eyebrows furrow in confusion and hoped he wasn’t already high.

“You? Not enough?” he asked with shock. “Of the two of us, you’re concerned with not being enough?”

“I’m new to this,” she said softly while trying to ignore the slight scoff she thought she heard in his voice. “You-you’re not. I’m sure there are so many other people you could be with, who could make you happy, who you may rather be with than me.”

“(Y/N),” Klaus tried to interrupt her, only to have her continue to talk over him.

“I’m not afraid of you, or your powers, or your family, or your father. I’m afraid of not being the person you need or deserve. I’m afraid of someone else coming along and you needing them more than me. I’m not saying that would ever happen, I’m just concerned that...that I love you more than you can love me.”

Looking at the woman whose hand he had in his, he couldn’t help remembering that night, the last perfect night of bliss before (Y/N) left for school, before Klaus was kicked out of the Academy and fell even further into his addiction. It was the first time any living person had said the words ‘I love you’ to him, and it was in concern that he couldn’t feel the same to her. He knew it was a dangerous game, stringing (Y/N)--gently, kind (Y/N)--along for the wild ride of a life he had, so he tried his hardest to forget, and for years, she only existed as a ghost in passing--bailing him out and coming to his aid in hospitals. That was his fault. Not hers. To be truthful, he was terrified of returning to the academy because he feared it would require him to face her, something he knew would be impossible to do. He knew he had crushed her when he abandoned the city and disappeared from her life. There was no reason she would want to speak to him again. Regardless, he knew only one kind of selfless love, and it was her.

“Have you seen Luther?” Klaus yelled over the roar of the rave while Ben scanned the crowd, trying to keep Klaus from noticing he was eavesdropping.

“I left him over there,” (Y/N) said and pointed toward a large gathering in a general direction. Klaus latched onto (Y/N)’s hand even stronger and started walking toward his brother with Ben beside him. It wasn’t until he reached his brother that he realized how tightly he was holding onto her. All too quickly he dropped her hand and pulled his back to his side. The second his hand left hers, the pounding music and flashing lights became unbearable remembrances of rapid fire and helicopters. Klaus’s hands flew to his ears as he looked forward, scouring the rave for his brother.

(Y/N) had pretended not to notice at first that Klaus was sweaty and shaking, that his hair was a mess, his body looked pained, and that he was talking to himself again. As kids she knew that Klaus talking to himself was a good thing, it meant he was sober and saw someone he remembered. For a while, it was his biological mother, but when he started taking drugs, her spirit was gone. (Y/N) remembered when Ben died. The sweet, shy kid who never wanted anything he was forced into in life, was the one in whom Klaus had always placed his trust. If she had to guess, it was Ben he was speaking to now. He wouldn’t talk to a spirit he didn’t know or feel comfortable with, and as far as she knew, Ben would be the only person he cared about that was gone.

“Oh shit,” Klaus gasped just as (Y/N) was about to ask about Ben. He stopped in his tracks and stared at the sight before him. Luther was gathered, shirtless, in a large group of people. I suppose it could have been an interesting sight, had it not been for the mutation that seemed to be overcoming his torso.

“What the hell is that?” (Y/N) asked Klaus to no avail. He had already started pacing through the crowd toward his brother. 

“Luther!” he yelled.

“Brother!” the large behemoth of a man called and jumped down to wrap Klaus in a bear hug. “Neighbor girl was here!” he called out again. “Didn’t you two used to--“

“Okay,” Klaus cut him off, “that’s enough. We need to get you home!” (Y/N) could see Klaus was struggling to push past the sensation overload and convince Luther he needed to leave with him.

“This is my home!” Luther shouted back at him over the noise with a slightly bitter tone. “Oh, hi Neighbor girl,” Luther said while peeking at (Y/N) where she stood behind Klaus. “Here’s my brother! The one you used to--”

“Date? Have sex with? Yeah, I know. I remember.” (Y/N) said over the obvious tension between the three of them.

“Hey, have you ever had one of these?” Luther asked Klaus while his eyes stared at the small pink pill in his hand.

“Yeah,” Klaus said in a broken and disappointed tone.

“I’ve never felt so alive!” he screamed. It only took Klaus a second to snatch the pill from his brother’s hand and throw it across the club. “What did you do that for?!” Luther yelled.

“I have no idea!” Klaus’s frustrated grumble echoed against the walls of (Y/N)’s heart. Immediately, he became overcome by the pressure of being sober--having to be responsible, watching those around him be in the state of mind he wanted so much to lose himself into--and as his fingers slowly stretched up to his temples, he’d made the decision to relapse.

Come on, Klaus. You can do this! Stay strong. Don’t give into temptation, Ben’s voice echoed in his head as he pressed his fingertips against his temples in an attempt to hold away the pounding of the music.

“Klaus,” (Y/N) called out to him. “Please.” Her soft voice was barely audible over the commotion of the rave. He refused to look at her, refused to even acknowledge she was with him, as he took a few broken and stuttering steps toward a pillar near the center of the room. His head was filled with the whistling sounds of airstrikes and gunfire, and he quickly realized that no matter how hard he pressed against his ears, there was no way to silence the noises in his mind. Hopeless, he dropped himself to the ground and held his hands over his hears and his knees to his chest. His body was still shaking and sweaty from withdrawals, even with his eyes shut so tightly, tears slipped free and stained his cheeks, and a light, shaky sob escaped his chest. Upon opening his eyes, he could see the pill he’d thrown away from Luther and the idea of losing himself in a distracting high became a mission, but only for a moment.

Before Klaus could even move forward from his spot on the floor of the rave, (Y/N) had crouched down in front of him. 

“Don’t do it,” she begged him with just one statement.

“You don’t understand,” he tried to push her away, to ignore the fact that someone cared about him. Ben was easy to ignore. He was a spirit, a non-tangible entity. (Y/N) was physical, therefore making her harder to ignore.

“No, Klaus, you don’t understand,” she snapped at him while grabbing his hands as he tried to push her away from him. “I was a fool, to think that there was any other way for you to suppress your powers--any healthier way. I was a fool to think, in any part of our childhood, that you wouldn’t turn toward drugs, but mostly, I was a fool to still love you after the fact!” 

Her touch reminded him of the one he’d forgotten so long ago, one where she was both gentle and pointed, where he’d known love and been too afraid to show it. Her touch reminded him of Dave’s, generous and selfless despite Klaus’s selfish tendencies. Kind, beautiful, grounded--that was what Dave was for him, that was what he needed...that was what he had all along.

“I already lost you once, Klaus. I can’t do that again,” she sighed while looking into the green eyes before him reflecting the pink and orange lights around them. “You deserve so much in life Klaus, and I had hoped that if you never found it with me, you’d find it with some other person patient enough to deal with you and your shit, but I can’t sit here and not be a little bit selfish. I don’t want to lose you again. You’re my best friend! I can’t keep wondering every waking moment if you’re alive!”

“(Y/N)--” Klaus tried to say her name to get her to stop talking if only for a moment. He failed. As much as it pained him to see her hurting, and know him trying to save her from his life of chaos was the cause of this pain, he needed to listen, because her words were soothing to him. She and Dave shared something, Klaus was sure of it: an unyielding ability to express love to the unlovable. Each were what Klaus had always needed--one he supposed he always had, it just took the other to see that he was already blessed with someone who valued him and would show him the love he deserved.

“Don’t do this! Don’t,” she said while taking his face in her hands and bringing his eyes to her. “You’re worth more than that.” Klaus was quick to see her intentions were as selfless as Dave’s. All either of them had on their mind was Klaus’s best interests, not what they needed from him, not what they could manipulate him into doing for them, but what was best for him. He didn’t have to do this alone. He didn’t have to be alone.

He remembered the first time (Y/N) had kissed him. It was the first time he’d gotten high around her and the guilt had been eating him alive. She didn’t care that he was a mess, she didn’t care that he was doped up, all she cared about was that her best friend was safe. Unable to stomach the fact that she would hate him forever for what he did, he broke down in tears, only to have her press her lips to his and his heart transform from a tangled web of darkness and regret, to a glowing ball of enlightened joy.

Klaus looked forward at the woman who had always been there for him, took her face in his hands, and pulled her into him. Her chin rested on his shoulder and his arms draped around her waist. He could feel his heart swell with a sense of completion he hadn’t felt since Dave, and realized the mistake he had made all those years ago. He could have been happy, he could have loved and been loved as he deserved, he could have had that with (Y/N), but his own stubborn decision to leave her out of the struggles in his life led him down the wrong path.

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed heavily into her ear. “I should have said it then,” he sighed against her skin, “that I loved you.”

“You didn’t have to,” she said gently. “I knew you did...in your own way.”

“You always knew more about me than I did,” Klaus’s voice trembled slightly at his words, feeling a sense of deja vu as he spoke, but not wanting another moment to go by without the people he cared about knowing that he truly did love them.

“I still do,” she said softly with a smirk as she brought her lips to his cheek and gently rested her hand on the back of his head. It felt as if the world around them didn’t exist. The noise was non problematic, Klaus’s PTSD had faded and his panic was eased as long as (Y/N) was with him. She may not have been part of the Umbrella Academy, but she was definitely a force to be reckoned with, because she was the only person left in this would who could keep up with him, and bring him to reality when his mind was locked in a mausoleum or trudging through the trenches. She was special, and it took him losing someone special to him to know that she was a gift he’d taken for granted. He’d make sure never to make that mistake again.

@multifandom-ramblings @lesbian-with-adhd @ne0n-gh0st @thehanwen @helena-way07

[dancingwithdylan21]

I Fucking Knew It

Summary: It’s Thanksgiving at the Stilinski household and a certain guest catches Stiles’ attention.

Pairing: Fuckboy!Stiles x Reader

Prompt: “I won’t tell anyone that you’re scared of a girl.”

~

A sense of calm washes over Stiles Stilinski as he sets foot inside his Beacon Hills childhood home. The delicious aroma of turkey is wafting throughout and it immediately overtakes him. Not wasting any time, he hightails it towards the kitchen to visit with his favorite person of all time. 

“Hey Mom! Happy Thanksgiving!”

Claudia beams at the sound of her son’s familiar voice and pulls him into a tight hug, “Hi honey! I’m so glad you made it home.”

“Me too.” He delivers with a warm smile before kissing her on the cheek.

Unfortunately Stiles has been missing in action lately, he hasn’t celebrated a holiday with his family in some time. His crazy consuming job at the bureau keeping his ass in Washington DC for the last year.

“Who’s coming today?” Stiles asks twisting the cap off of a frosty beer. “Anyone good?”

“Everyone! They’ll all be happy to see you.“

“Naturally.” He smirks before chucking a cube of cheese into his mouth, earning himself an eye roll from Claudia.

The house soon starts bustling as family and friends start to pile in with goodies in hand. The constant focus on Stiles is overwhelming him to say the least - how many times does he have to answer the same shit?

The agent sneaks away to the kitchen for alone time, only to find his long time best friends making out aka devouring each other, "What the fuck, guys. People eat in here.” He scrunches up his face at Scott and Alison.

Scott detaches from his girlfriend’s lips, “Yeah I was just about to eat something.” He winks making Alison giggle.

“Stop it right now. I refuse to be nauseous on Thanksgiving!” Stiles huffs loudly. 

“Dude, chill...” 

“No, McCall. There’s way too many delicious things to eat...”

Claudia grins walking into the room, the sound of the two boys bickering is oddly comforting. It’s finally feeling like old times again around here. The couple start laughing on their way out of the kitchen making Stiles finally smile with victory. 

"The Andersons just came in the door.” Claudia informs checking on the cinnamon cookies in the oven. "Stiles go say hi to Y/N and see what she wants to drink.”

A confused expression breaks out on the agent’s face, "Who?” He moves around the corner, not prepared for what he’s about to see.

You’re easily the most gorgeous girl that Stiles has ever laid his eyes on and it makes his heart speed up. He’s been staring, not even aware until you break him out of his trance with a friendly wave. A nervous smile appears on his lips before rushing back into the kitchen.

"Smooth, moron.” Stiles groans to himself.

“What does she want?” Claudia wonders with her back to him.

“Huh?” Stiles says distracted.

“What does Y/N want to drink?” His mom sighs, wiping her hands on the apron that she’s wearing.

"I didn’t ask.” Stiles answers with a frown. "Who is she?”

Claudia halts her movements, locking eyes with her son like he’s a mad man, "She lived down the street, sweetheart. You two played video games constantly. Almost everyday.”

“Wait what…”

“I always had to yell about going out and getting some fresh air.” She finishes with a chuckle.

"That's…there’s no way that’s her.” Stiles adds with wide eyes, his mouth now turning dry.

“Yup. That’s her.”

“But she moved away in the eighth grade with her family. I never saw her again.” Stiles squints at his mother, trying to search for any signs of a lie.

“I know. She moved back about a year ago. You’d know that if you ever came home for the holidays.” Claudia sasses with a hand flying to her hip.

Stiles ignores his mom’s comment, too distracted when the image of you as a kid pops into his head. "She was such a tomboy. I forgot she was a girl most of the time.” Stiles adds surprised.

“Not anymore.” Mary sing songs, unable to hold back a laugh over her son’s deer in headlights look.

Stiles is unbelievably caught off guard, still not convinced that you’re the girl who he spent countless hours with. There’s really only one way to find out the truth. He’s going to test you. First he just needs to find the balls to approach you.

"Hi Mary!” You stroll into the kitchen wearing an infectious smile, not missing how your childhood friend tenses up.

“Hi sweetie! You look beautiful.” She greets, wrapping her arms around you for a hug.

Stiles gives you a quick smile when you turn towards him but it barely lasts before he looks away. Well this is strange, you’ve always heard that he’s such a ladies man. It definitely doesn’t seem it though.

You’re about to strike up a conversation with Stiles when Scott mischievously barrels into the room. Without warning, he hoists you up off the ground making you squeal in surprise. When he finally sets you down, you notice that Stiles has weirdly disappeared. 

“Need any help?” You ask Claudia, giving Scott his cue to excuse himself before he’s put to work as well.

“You can move the cinnamon cookies onto a platter.” She gestures to the baking sheets behind her. "It’s been awhile since you’ve seen Stiles huh?”

“Yeah. Seems like forever ago.” You admit. “He seems sorta…quiet. Which I didn’t expect because I’ve heard that he’s a real charmer. And also always talking.”

Claudia bursts out laughing, "Yeah. I usually can’t get the boy to shut up. I think it’s because of you.” She playfully winks.

“Me?” You furrow your brows.

“My ridiculous son doesn’t believe that you’re the girl who grew up down the street.”

“Huh.” You giggle softly. “That’s funny.”

~

Stiles searches like crazy for his best friend, finally spotting him hanging out in the backyard. "Ya know the girl that you picked up in the kitchen?”

"Uh yeah…” Scott shoots him an amused look. "What about her?”

“My mom said that she’s the Y/N from when we were younger but it’s not, right?” Stiles studies his reaction closely.

Scott knows what he’s about to do is wrong but he can’t help himself, “Nah. Different Y/N. Your mom always gets the two confused, man.”

“That makes more sense! There’s no way that’s the same girl.” Stiles snickers at him.

Scott refrains from rolling his eyes, a smirk then appears when he sees you walking in their direction. His friend soon catches on, resulting in opposite reactions from each guy.

“Hey.” You grin wide at them, getting a friendly smile from Scott and an awkward one from Stiles.

A ringtone breaks the silence causing Stiles to veer off to the side to answer it. He starts pacing as he talks, his unusual amount of energy is definitely entertaining you.

"Is he always this weird, Scotty?”

“Yup.” He cracks a knowing smile. “It’s worse than normal because of you though.”

“That’s what his mom said too! I don’t get it.” You sigh watching Stiles.

Scott shrugs, "Just a heads up…he asked if you were really the Y/N from down the street. I may have lied and said no.”

“McCall!” You gasp causing you both to erupt into laughter.

“I know, I know. He makes it too easy sometimes.”

“Jeez. Was I that shitty looking back then?” You frown getting a shocked reaction from Scott.

“Not at all, Y/N.” He assures you. “You were just different than the other girls we were around. All they cared about was makeup and going to the mall. You were more into sports and video games.”

"Yeah that’s true…”

“Plus you always wore your brother’s clothes for some reason.” Scott chuckles at the memory.

“Yeah well…I hated all the girly shit back then. My brother’s t-shirts had skulls and stuff so I liked them. My mom wouldn’t buy them for me.” You explain with a giggle.

Stiles ends his call and heads back over to you both, the action makes Scott suddenly announce that he needs more beer. Awesome. Now you and Stiles are standing here alone.

So…you gonna talk to me or run away again?” You speak up with a giggle.

Stiles hesitates then rubs the back of his neck, “I didn’t run away, Y/N.”

You shrug lazily, “Don’t worry, dude. I won’t tell anyone that you’re scared of a girl.”

Stiles’ demeanor instantly shifts, he smugly cocks his head at you, "Oh please, sweetheart. No one would believe you.”

Well shit. There’s the Stiles that you’ve heard so much about. That seems to break the ice and you both continue on with the small talk. But in the back of Stiles’ mind, he keeps wondering if maybe you are the girl from his childhood.

Back then you two were very competitive and constantly played Mario Kart on Wii. He always picked Mario and you always picked Luigi. You both would trash talk all day about whose choice is better.

Even when you weren’t playing, Stiles would randomly exclaim “Mario!” making you always shout “Luigi!” in response. He finally decides it’s now or never to man up and test you about his possible theory.

“Mario.” Stiles states casually, no doubt now eyeing you.

“What?” You play dumb like a pro but it’s literally killing you to not scream "Luigi”.

“Um…”

“Did you say Mario?” You quirk an eyebrow at the brunette. He clears his throat loudly with a slight redness flushing his cheeks.

“Uh...”

“Who’s that?” You question innocently.

Stiles shakes his head at you, "Never mind.” He’s now avoiding eye contact and it’s the cutest thing ever.

You offer him a kind smile and continue to pretend that you’re clueless. Up until a minute ago, the dynamic between you and Stiles drastically improved. It definitely helped when he became less scared of you.

You find yourself sneaking peeks at Stiles, his handsome features almost leaving you breathless. Of course he’s guilty of doing the same thing, trying hard not to get caught.

“Would you like to go out sometime?” Stiles inquires with a boyish grin.

“I’d love to.” You sweetly peck his cheek then start walking backwards. "I’m gonna run inside and grab us a snack. Ok?”

You spin around fast, not allowing Stiles to respond before you rush off towards the deck. After a quick glance at him, you start climbing up the stairs and then pause at the slider door. Without a second thought, you peer over the deck railing and call Stiles’ name.

"One more thing…”

“Yeah?”

“Luigi!” You exclaim proudly before booking it into the house with a laugh.

Stiles’ mouth drops open at your confession, "I fucking knew it.” He chuckles to himself.

~

Masterlist 

[rainofaugustsith]

10 OC facts: Viri and Jia

Thank you so much for the tag @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond​! I love doing these! Tagging @a-muirehen @metriorhynchus @chokit-pyrus @celith-wraine

We know who always goes first. My favorite.

1. Viri is 6′2″ or 1.83m. When she was a kid, she hit a huge growth spurt when she was around 12 and was suddenly way taller than her peers. She was extremely self conscious about it and slouched to try to hide her height until she realized that her parents were very tall, like her, and so was her mentor, Darth Merwo. Both her mother and Merwo were tall, strong women who just did not give a fuck what anyone thought of them, and that rubbed off a lot on Viri.

2. If Viri sees dead civilians, Alliance members or Sith on the battlefield she will often recite the Qoorit (the Sith prayer for the dead in my head canon) under her breath for them, even if she can’t do the full rite there.

3. Viri truly believes that the tattoo on her shoulder - a Sith blessing she loves - has helped protect her.

4. Viri likes really silly, light-hearted movies and shows. She doesn’t like watching a lot of dramas or tragedies because, well, she gets enough of that in her own job.

5. Viri frequently has very loud, ridiculous colors and patterns on her socks and undergarments. Even when she’s wearing the scariest Sith armor ever, there might be neon green stripes underneath.

6. Viri still inwardly cringes whenever she sees a carbonite slab. She will not go near them if she can help it. Taran the bounty hunter has learned that if she’s talking about work, she doesn’t want to discuss carbonite within earshot of Viri.

7. Viri likes wearing Lana’s clothes because they make her feel safe. Of course, since she’s half a foot taller than Lana, the only thing that fits her is Lana’s belt, readjusted.

8. Both Viri and Lana always cover up the Marks of Union (from their Sith marriage ritual for Force bonded partners) on their palms when they’re in public. They love each other to infinity, but they know that if certain people knew they were *that* tightly bonded in the Force, it could potentially be used to hurt them.

9. Viri’s not very good at video games and rage quits.

10. Viri’s parents physically resemble Alison Janney and Stellan Skarsgård.

1. Every single piece of gold Jia wears has some deep significance to her and was given to her by someone she loves in her family. She never takes it off, and if anyone tried to steal it she’d gut them.

2. Jia has a gift for debate and persuasion and can often talk circles around other people until they’re convinced they agree with whatever she’s saying. She doesn’t even need the Force for it, she’s just really adept with her words and reading her audience.

3. In line with #2, Jia is very good at reading people and their intentions. It’s hard to bullshit her because she will catch you on it. 

4. Jia has almost always had hair that has gone to her waist, and she refuses to cut it or put it up in a bun for battles. She’s worked to find ponytail and braid styles so she can keep it mostly down without it getting in her face.

5. Having grown up on Dromund Kaas, Jia hates sunny days. Planets like Tatooine and Hoth where there is a lot of sun and light (Hoth has snow, but it’s bright!) are torture to her. She finds rain very comforting and familiar, and when it’s raining on Odessen, she can often be found taking a walk in it.

6. Jia speaks very softly, and those who don’t know her often describe her as shy and quiet. She doesn’t really show most of her personality until she’s warmed up to you.

7. Jia has a very, very deep hatred of Zakuul since every member of her family perished somehow during the Empire’s war with the Eternal Empire.

8.  During the time of the class stories, Jia was good friends (and occasional lovers) with Lord Zavrasha. They both were apprentices of Darth Mortis so they worked together, and things went from there.

9. Jia still hasn't been to visit Korriban again. She was there when the Eternal Empire attacked, and the memories are too painful for her.

10. Jia and Lana attended the same Sith academies in Dromund Kaas, but since they're different ages and would have been in different classes, they never crossed paths.

[dvrkhclme-blog]

✕ — wasn’t that raven darkholme wandering the streets of new york, 1973? civilians know them as mystique and see them as a villain. as far as i know, the one hundred and fifty+ year old stands with the x-men (sometimes), and are rumoured to be pretty deceptive & misanthropic. ( julianne moore / gender-fluid / typically she/her ) 

{ trigger warnings : mental illness, suicide, sexual abuse, drugs, terrorism, murder  }

hey everyone, i’m sophia!! i’m trash and neglected the intros for all my babies soooo i’m finally getting to them now!! anyways, i’m super excited to be here at 1973hq & i hope we can all be good friends!! <3 sooo. more about my first baby aka my murder!baby under the cut  

LEVEL 1: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION ABOUT MY MYSTIQUE //

im not even gonna touch the mceu version of mystique ok thx therefore shes gonna be combination of comics mystique and a bunch of my own headcanons — soooo

LEVEL 2: SURFACE LEVEL MYSTIQUE — THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY // 

( skip this part if youre familiar with the mcu its basically a shortened version of her bio )

the binch is oLD ok??/ old af. probably several centuries old. i’d say 200 years old at minimum but its never really been disclosed

don’t even get me started on wtf i think happened to her to fight just to survive at age 12 when her mutation kicked in bcus,,, yike

her entire life has been characterized by betrayals. whether it be mystique betraying someone else (most likely) or her being betrayed by someone else (in the case of destiny)

her n destiny met in the early 20th century. destiny asked her to help decode her prophecies and to stop the terrifying ones from being fulfilled. they fell in Luv. they are partners. gay ass partners. (the original idea for mystique n destiny was for nightcrawler to be their canon kid. via mystique in a males body. but this was retconned bcus of homophobia thx but i’d personally love this hc if we get a kurt & it’s ok w/ them anyway )

anyway after ww2 she met sabertooth n had her first (canonically recorded) kid, graydon. who. lo n behold, she abandoned.

that’ll be a trend, fyi, better watch out for that

but graydon turned out to be a mutant hating human so thats fun

then mystique from our time went back in time in attempt to assassinate graydon (which doesnt, in the end, work),,,, also fun

then she gets married to a wealthy german count,,, uses her power to start seducing other people, when she meets azael who  manipulates and seduces her. has nightcrawler via azael ,, its cool

raven murdered her husband and was then regarded by her townsfolk n as a demon. she escaped but abandoned kurt,,, also cool

she adopts raven then. and actually genuinely loves her. (more on this in the next section)

she founds the 3rd version of the brotherhood n they do more terrorist shit good job mystique #magnetowasright

sike mystique betrayed  magneto and turned him into the government, turned the brotherhood into the freedom force, n started working for the gov. working for freedom force is when destiny died and that triggered one of mystiques many breakdowns (also more on this below)

she was v depressed at this time and taken advantage of by the shadow king. raven let herself be brainwashed by the government into thinking she was her own government handler to take down the shadow king. didnt work. he torments her the rest of her life. yike.  

she had nanotech put into her head so the government could force her to work for x-factor, while with them she finds out destiny during their partnership had other partners and kids she didnt know about and one was a mutant

graydon has this mutant savagely beaten. before mystique can kill graydon for this, hs followers kill him n turn him into a martyr. super fun. cue operation zero tolerance.

mystique went undercover as the senators wife for a while n used her connections to the fbi to do shadier shit

she then ran away and took some random chicks form and became a model and made a ton of cash — u go girl

except this kinda sucked for her because she moved into a penthouse suite which in the neighbouring building had skulls plotting to take down mankind. they framed her for a murder, her powers stopped working, n she was arrested

the government eased all her alternate identities and froze all her assets and access to the money she and destiny saved up for decades. cue another mental breakdown

then she finds out destiny was responsible for founding the anti-mutant conspiracy mystique spent her whole life trying to stop, and that destiny also didnt give medical attention to mutant kids who were deformed from their mutations

long story short she has an even worse breakdown n goes completely nihilistic, realizing she cant change the world for the better, she remakes the brotherhood and impersonates moira mctaggert to get her research on the legacy virus  

a bunch more shit happens with raven ending up in the care of homeland security. xavier makes a deal with her and breaks her out. everyont thought she tried to kill xavier,,, when she didnt actually,,, because xaviers a shady fuck,,, but oh well. rogue disowns her for it. leads to another mental breakdown.

because of this she decides fuq u xavier and creates a mutant kid identity for herself known as foxx and joins the xmen to stop rogue and remy’s relationship

she helped the x-men during this time n also helped save rogue’s life via the messiah baby. but once again her intentions are misconstrued

she snaps again and impersonates bobby drake’s girlfriend & gets the poor boy hospitalized

norman osborn then recruited her to the dark x-men, injected her with nanites, then helped logans soul to hell, but then changed her mind and helped get him back. when he got back tho he uh. well. killed her. her and sabretooth were both resurrected by the hand (more on this later)

mystique then rejoined the brotherhood, impersonated alison, and took her place as mutant liaison for shield, harvesting her DNA to make MGH (mutant growth hormone)

LEVEL 2.5: MYSTIQUE’S PLACE IN THIS VERSE

i imagine she went back in time to 1973 under the guise of helping people & being “reformed” but in reality she was also doing shady mystique shit on the side and probably trying to tie up some loose ends, whether it be with graydon, the shadow king, destiny, or someone else. or probably a combination

anyways now shes staying w/ the x-men part time and playing Good Girl for now. she wants to show everyone that shes reformed n better n just wants to do things for the betterment of mutant kind. wants 2 get their trust too

shes pretty. level headed right now i’d say. betsy braddock helped her during one of her mental breakdowns by telepathically realigning her fragmented psyche — she’s still mystique n still awful but not as chaotic anymore. and less prone to attack rogue or other people aimlessly. it’s much more goal oriented now.

LEVEL 3: MYSTIQUES PSYCHE //

ok so she identifies as gender fluid bcus she shape shifts forms but also because i imagine shes so sick of having sexualized herself all these decades to get what she wants that shes just fed up with gender norms and thinks theyre bullshit. she’s fine to go by she/her pronouns but she doesnt really identify as a specific gender in my head

she drinks but mostly absinthe and only w/ people she trusts. along those lines it’s similar for drugs but she loves a good high and a good hallucination

she has bouts of psychosis that her wiki defines as schizophrenia. it manifests in much more anger and aggression. hallucinations. delusions — especially presecutory and grandiose delusions — lack of pleasure (hence the nihilism), social withdrawal, and poverty of speech. her sense of identity becomes so fractured that she cant keep herself consistently in one body without it taking all of her concentration — and sometimes that isn’t even enough. she gets lots of mood and cognitive changes during these episodes — and completely loses her sense of self

despite her grandiose ego she’s actually very self conscious and refuses to look in a mirror. actually she’s scared of her appearance. she cant look at herself normally in fear of seeing a monster look back

this is also the reason she was so easily deceived by azael. he looked like a monster, too, and embraced her for how she is. he didnt make her change to fit another appearance that couldve been “more beautiful”

lastly, her motives for doing things??? are always for the betterment of mutantkind. over time this got very skewed and her belief became that the only way for mutants to actually live is for all humans to die. shes a terrorist through and through, but she loves mutants. she just has a personal vendetta against the x-men that’s grown over the years — her constantly being betrayed by people during her episodes of psychosis and the x-men never actually believing the real story (but also like. why would they??? shes often so awful too)

shes attempted suicide canonically in the past. she loses control of herself. it’s also heavily implied she’s been assaulted in the past. anyways shes a sad baby too

— so thats about it for my murder baby! yike this got a lot longer than i expected it to but anyways i cant wait to write her with all of you!! <3