#i saw 'pan is attraction regardless of gender' and i saw 'pan people are allowed to have gender preferences' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snakebites-22 · 4 years

Text

Set Me Free (Pt 1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: This is a request for @lazydogscatsperson and it will be made into two parts because I got carried away and it’s very long. I hope you enjoy it even though I said it was just going to be one part. Oops.

Warnings: lots of kidnapping, there’s a mention of rats, drinking, angst, fluff, confusion, Felix is gay, swearing, if there’s anything else I should add let me know

Word Count: 5574

Pairing: Peter Pan x Hook!Reader

Summary: Y/n Hook is the rebellious thief who can always hold her own and get herself out of trouble. So what happens when what was supposed to be an easy theft gets her taken to Neverland to meet the villain of her father’s stories?

Sidenote: It was requested that it be a female reader so that’s why it’s gender specific. Some details from the original request were changed or taken out depending on if they made sense or helped move the story forward. I hope you still enjoy it regardless. Part 2 will be out hopefully within a day or two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

Yelling. Jewels. Talismans. Booze. Brawls. Food. These were the sights, smells, sounds that created the atmosphere of the marketplace. To many people it was untidy and awful and a place to only go with extreme caution and a guarded coin pouch, but to you it was a sight for sore eyes. It had been months since you had last been to the marketplace since you had been out at sea with your father, Captain Hook, for so long. So, being able to see people who weren’t members of the crew and to smell things that weren't salt water was a bit refreshing.

You strolled down past the tents and tables with ease, smirking a bit when merchants and buyers did double takes to look back at you. As the daughter of Captain Hook, you had quite a bit of a reputation. A fierce fighter, a rebellious punk, a bit of a thief, these were the titles that you had been granted over the years. It wasn’t unlike you to be the cause of some of the brawls seen here in the marketplace. After all, you loved being able to make grown men weep at your feet.

However, that wasn’t the reason you were here. No, your stroll had purpose to it. You weren’t here to sight see or fight. You were here for a certain somebody, and that somebody was sitting at a table underneath a faded blue tent, polishing a blood red gem on an ornate necklace.

The woman looked up as you walked over, slowly setting the necklace down with a sly grin. You knew every item on that table was stolen, from the large silver mirrors to the smallest spoon.The woman was tall, skinny, and rather beautiful with long hair. She, of course, knew of her attractiveness and used it to her advantage. Fools were made of men when they saw her smile. This was something you both had in common. Another thing was the shining e/c color in your eyes.

“Hello mother,” you spoke with slight boredom in your tone.

“Hello daughter,” she said as she straightened out her collection of rings. “What have you brought?”

This was how it always was. A curt greeting before she went back to business. You sighed as you dropped a bag of various trinkets you had picked up from your months long voyage. She dived into the bag, picking at the items like a vulture. There were several things such as combs, bracelets, even a gold tooth that you had taken after you punched it out of a man dumb enough to whistle at you.

You roll your eyes as she mutters to herself, criticizing most things and being silent when she actually likes something. She’ll try and sell all of it regardless, but this was still the reason why you tended to avoid your mother for long periods of time instead of being with her like a normal daughter. You were the product of an unfortunate one night stand between your mother and father many years ago. Your mother regretted it, and your father regretted your mother. Not you, though. You, he wouldn’t trade for all of the riches of the world.

“You know, I heard there was a ship out not far from here rumored to be stocked with valuables,” your mother stated with an evil look in her eyes. “Might be worth looking into.”

“Yeah,” you said with a sneer. “Do more work for you when you don’t even appreciate what I bring you.”

She stared back at you blankly, boredom replacing the mischief in her e/c orbs. You sighed and shook your head before turning on the heel of your buckled boots, walking away from her. She knew she probably wouldn’t see you for another few months, hell she might never see you again, but she said no words. After all, you were nothing more than a reminder of a night she desperately wanted to forget. Of a man she desperately wanted to forget.

You stalked back down the aisles you had walked over just mere minutes before. You ignored the faces of the onlookers as you walked, one step, then another, your mind anywhere but the marketplace now. Your mother always had that effect on you. You hated it.

Before you knew it you had walked yourself back down to the docks. You gazed around you lazily. You could see your father and his crew as they restocked the Jolly Roger with supplies for the next voyage. Near them was another ship. A very expensive looking ship. Your mother’s words rang in your ears and an idea sang with them. A very bad idea, but also a fun one. So of course you acted on it. You began to walk towards the ship, hands in the pockets of your coat as you walked with confidence. Nobody questioned you as you strutted right up to the ship and onto the deck. Nobody ever did. You always managed to make it look like you belonged in places you had every reason not to.

The deck didn’t have a speck of dirt on it. You saw why when you noticed the man mopping a few feet away. You chuckled softly as you moved swiftly towards the hatch that led to the hold under the deck. Even the wood of the hatch was smooth as you lifted it up to step down the stairs.

It was darker down in the hold. The smell of the sea and of rum filtered through the air as you crept down the hallways. You figured you wouldn’t find much of interest down here and you were right as you walked past boring supplies and sleeping areas for the crew. No. The real score would be in the Captain’s Cabin. You were sure of it.

You turned back the way you came and walked back up to the deck. Gaining back your confident-walk-of-purpose, you moved towards the Captain’s Cabin. Hardly anyone was around to see you as you picked the lock on the intricately carved door with a couple of hairpins. It swung open easily and you walked in quickly, closing the heavy door behind you.

When you turned back around to look at the room, your eyes were blown wide. It was packed with things like maps and swords and chests that you were sure were filled with gems and fine clothes and who knew what else. A hammock hung in the corner and a large dark desk sat in the middle of the room, a map laid out with a knife in it. You knew you had to be quick. The Captain could be back any moment and you were sure you had been gone far longer than your father would have allowed.

You crept along the wood floor adorned with colorful rugs with the grace of a master thief, which you were. You began to pocket things. A scroll, a fountain pen, a gold chain. They all went into your knapsack. As you reached the desk, you looked at the knife stabbed into the map. It was a gorgeous little thing, silver blade with a black hilt adorned with gems of various colors and sizes and a handle grip of black leather. Naturally, you pulled it out of the wood and slipped it into the sheath you had strapped to your thigh. It was only then that you looked at the map. Neverland. You had heard of that place. Your father told you stories of the dark forests, dreaded mermaids, cruel boys, and the evil boy king. Why would these pirates be heading there?

Before you could fathom an answer, you felt a lurch that made you stumble slightly. Your eyes widened as you ran towards the porthole window that occupied a great portion of the wall. Your fears were confirmed when you saw the dock getting farther and farther away by the second, the Jolly Roger fading in the distance.

Maybe you could still make it. You could probably swim that far, right? You carefully exited the Captain’s Cabin unnoticed by the crew now swarming the deck, and walked briskly to the edge of the main deck. As you were bracing yourself to jump, a shout rang out drawing your attention.

“Ready yourselves!” came the gruff voice of a man standing near the wheel. He was holding something small between his fingers. “Today, we conquer Neverland!”

At this, the crew cheered and hollered while beating their fists and swords in the air. It was that moment that you noticed what it was the man was holding. Fear and astonishment gripped you as you ran as fast as you could to the side of the ship, but it was too late. By the time you reached the edge, he had dropped the magic bean into the water, and you were gone.

————————

So, you weren’t in the best situation. The ship had landed a bit away from the shore of Neverland and you discovered that the man who had dropped the bean was the Captain. Captain Bart, to be precise. And you, well, after crying out “No!” in a fit of frustration it didn’t take long for you to be discovered. You were now sitting in a cell deep within the hold after trying to fight off a majority of the crew, and it was awful.

The cell was small, damp, and smelled. The occasional rat would run by, but you didn’t mind that much. It was better than being lonely. They had taken back all of the items you had stolen except for the knife. The idiots were too busy admiring the strings of your corset to notice the gemmed hilt. So, here you were, using said knife to carve obscene and profane phrases into the rotted wood.

You had been sailing around in circles for hours now. It was boring and you desperately wanted to get out and see the island despite all of the warnings your father had given you. There were guards stationed outside your cell, two of them. From the stench coming through the cell door, you could tell they were drinking. By nightfall you’d make your escape. It was only a matter of time. You leaned back into your corner more, watching the world outside of your small window.

————————

Drunk pirate song and the twinkling light of stars. That was your signal as you stood and stretched, getting out your hairpins as you sauntered over to the door. You stood and waited for a second to listen to the slurred lyrics and snoring coming from the pirates outside. A smirk crawled its way onto your face as you picked the lock.

The door slowly creaked open, the pirate who was awake looked at you in confusion. Before he could open his booze stained mouth, you had elbowed him in the jaw, knocking him out. You dusted off your hands and, after making sure the pirates had nothing of value on them, went on your way to the top deck.

Most of the crew had disappeared down into the hold to sleep. The ones that were left on the deck were all busy with some job or with drinking. What was with pirates and drinking? You wrinkled your nose at them as you moved towards the edge of the ship. You weren’t going to fail this time.

The water was dark and ominous below you. The wind pulled at your puffed sleeves and skirt. It felt like danger, and you were living for it. With one last look behind you, you jumped into the water.

The first thing that shocked you was the cold. It was the kind of cold to go straight through your skin to your bones and hold on until you couldn’t move. The next thing was the visibility. There wasn’t any. The last thing was the sound. It wasn’t the muted sound of the waves as they pulled at you. It was laughter. Cruel, sharp, femine laughter. It wasn’t until a hand with claws grabbed onto your ankle that you remembered about the mermaids.

You were being dragged down. The cold left you powerless. Another clawed hand on your calf. Another on your arm. Another. Another. You couldn’t move. You needed air. The only thing you could feel through the cold was the claws and your lungs. As you fought for your life a thought graced your mind: Would your father find out what happened to you? Would your mother? Would she care?

You barely realized that you had been thrashing against them until you felt the scaly hand around your wrist let go. You grabbed for the knife at your thigh, fumbling with frozen fingers. The handle was heavy in your hand as you swung it, the shrieks from the mermaids assaulting your ears. You kept swinging and swinging, trying not to black out as you stabbed at them. You kicked with your now free feet, rising. Rising towards air, to safety.

When your head broke the surface and you drank in the salty sea air, you laughed in triumph. It was a breathy, weak, barely there laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. You turned around and looked towards shore. It wasn’t too far away, but you needed to get out of the water quickly before another mermaid came by or you froze to death. You started swimming towards shore.

By the time you got there, you couldn’t feel your legs or your arms, or any part of you for that matter. You dragged yourself across the wet, gritty sand, your body feeling a million times heavier than normal. The sand clung to your skin as you collapsed from exhaustion. You were battered, bruised, tired, but you had made it. You had gotten free.

A sigh of relief left your frozen lips, but the snap of a twig took it right back. You shakily lifted your head and felt your heart sink. Through your half-closed eyes you could see twenty, no, forty figures shrouded in cloaks and villainy. The last thing you saw before you passed out was the figures moving towards you like the shadows from the depths of your darkest thoughts.

————————

It was quiet when you woke up. The kind of quiet that was dangerous, unnatural. You opened your eyes slowly and a low groan of pain escaped your throat. Your muscles ached all over and now that you were warm you could feel the stinging from the mermaid scratches.

As you slowly sat up, you took in your surroundings. It looked as though you were in a cabin of sorts. There wasn’t anything in the small room except for the bed that you lay upon. You gingerly pulled back the fur blankets covering you and stood up, swaying a little.

After gaining your balance, you moved to the door. Locked. You scowled and moved towards the one window on the opposite wall. Shut tight. Great. You were a prisoner yet again. You reached for your hairpins, but they weren’t there. Neither was your bejeweled knife. Or any of your other knives. Those bastards had taken your stuff! You growled out in frustration and tried to open the door again with no success. So, you tried again. And again. Then back to the window. Then the door again.

You didn’t know how long you were in that stupid cabin, but it was definetly long enough for you to start to lose your mind. You had momentarily given up on the window and door as you laid out in the center of the floor, staring up at the wood ceiling like you could summon an exit just by staring.

“Having fun there, love?”

You didn’t want to say that you screamed, but there was definitely an exclamation of surprise as you scrambled to your feet, fists raising into a fighting stance. The speaker was sitting on the bed, a smirk dominating his face.

You know the first thought that should have crossed your mind was How did you get in here? or maybe even Ah! Neverland person! Danger! but no, your first thought just had to be Oh damn because the boy, who was staring up at you with the most amused facial expression ever, was really, really attractive. He wore dark green clothes with knee high boots and his brown hair was a little messy, but you knew from the wickedness of his smile and the devilish look in his eyes who this was.

“Peter Pan,” you hissed.

His eyebrow lifted as he grinned. “So you know who I am.”

“I know of you,” you stated, raising your fists more as he stood. “I’ve heard...stories.”

“Stories from whom? Hopefully friends,” he said with a light chuckle.

You decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to mention your father. You knew they were definitely not friends. “Just talk from people who speak about an arrogant boy who plays king.”

He had started walking towards you, but you kept your footing. He stopped when he was about a foot away from you. You watched as his green eyes looked over your face, and for a horrible second you thought he had recognized you, but instead he just said, “I play a lot of things, love. But on Neverland I really am the king, and you will play by my rules.”

It was your turn to smirk as you took a step closer to him, your chests nearly touching. You knew you should be afraid, be angry, be something, but at that moment all you felt was that you had a new game to play.

“I play by my own rules, Pan,” you whispered. “And you, nor no one else, will ever change that.”

He looked taken aback slightly, but laughed a bit. “Was that a threat, lass?”

“A promise,” you retorted.

He nodded slowly and looked over you with a newfound curiosity. “What’s your name?” he asked after a moment.

You bit your lip slightly before answering slowly. “Y/n. I’m Y/n. Where are my things?”

Pan shrugged, a sly smile gracing his lips. “All in due time, love.”

You glared a bit as he disappeared, vanishing before you could blink.

————————

It had been a few days. Pan would visit you in the cabin, always just randomly appearing inside and then disappearing without ever touching the door. He would bring you your meals during these times, and at one point he even offered to heal your wounds. You had refused, of course. He was the dangerous demon king your father told you stories about. You may flirt with him and engage in playful, witty banter, but you didn’t trust him. Not by a long shot. He did keep you in this stupid cabin all day every day, after all.

That’s what you both were doing right now, actually. Playful insults, batting eyelashes, trying desperately not to look weird as you tore into your lunch.

Pan was laughing lightly at something you had said when he trailed off strangely. You looked up at him with a questioning gaze.

“Something wrong?”

He looked back at you quickly and shook his head slightly. “No. I just decided that I would like to take you into camp today,” he stated with a shrug.

Your eyes widened a little. “You mean I get to leave?”

He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yes you get to leave. You’ll also meet my boys.” He stood up calmly and brushed off his pants like he hadn’t just given you your freedom.

“Yes!” you cheered as you stood up. “Do I get my stuff back?”

“Maybe.” You hadn’t realized he’d moved behind you until his breath fanned over the back of your neck. “If you behave.”

Naturally, you elbowed him in the gut. Hard. When you turned around, he was doubled over slightly and holding his stomach.

“What the hell, Y/n?” he asked angrily, his eyes flashing darkly. You just shrugged and smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to do anything. If he was, he would’ve done it the first time. Or the fourth.

He sighed deeply and straightened up. He shook his head at you before turning and walking to the door. Your heart raced a little as you walked closer to him. Finally, this is what you had been waiting for. He grabbed the handle, and it turned without a fight. The door was open.

You rushed out past him, eyes widening in disbelief. There was so much green everywhere. Used to the blue of the sea and tan of the sand, you didn’t think you had ever seen so much green anywhere. Trees and vines covered nearly every inch of the ground. What wasn’t covered was littered with fallen leaves and grass. Birds sang overhead and for a moment you forgot that this was the hellscape of your father’s stories. For a moment, it was an oasis. A place of your dreams, so new yet, strangely familiar.

You hadn’t realized that Pan was already walking ahead of you until you heard him clear his throat. The leaves rustled under your boots as you ran after him, ready for a new adventure.

The cabin wasn’t as far from the camp as you had thought. It only took a few minutes of walking before you reached the area of trampled ground that the Lost Boys called home. There was a fire pit in the center and tents around the perimeter, but most importantly, there were the Lost Boys. The figures who had taken you. You felt a slight twinge of anger towards them, but Pan had already apologized for that earlier when he explained how you had intruded on the island. It didn’t mean you forgave them or that it was okay, but at least he apologized. You also punched him for it, so you were even.

The boys stopped what they were doing when they realized their leader was back. Pan motioned for you to wait where you stood while he kept walking. You, however, didn’t wait and instead walked right behind him much to the astonishment of the Lost Boys who watched you closely.

Pan opened his mouth to speak, but when he noticed he wasn’t the center of attention, he turned and looked at you. You smiled innocently at him as he scowled back. He sighed deeply before turning back to the anxiously waiting crowd.

“Well, boys,” he started with a sharp tone of voice you weren’t used to. “A few days ago you brought me someone who had washed up on our shores. A girl. She has been kept up in the hut for a bit, but now I have decided that it’s time for you guys to meet her. So, everyone, this is Y/n.”

You smiled at the boys as they gawked at you. The younger ones looked up at you in that hopeful innocence that youth holds, while the older ones looked at you in the way that made you wonder exactly how long it had been since they had last seen a girl. Oh boy.

————————

It had been several weeks since Pan had introduced you to the boys, and honestly it was going pretty well. The younger boys adored you, especially Cassie, Parker, and Thomas. Those three were constantly following you around and they always hid with you whenever Pan and the boys played manhunt. They always got you caught, too.

The older boys weren’t bad. Either they respected you or you broke their nose. You were pretty close with Felix, but you were still closest with Pan.

The more time you spent with them, the less and less they seemed like the supernatural demons from the stories of your childhood. Sure, Pan had a temper and oftentimes you would step between him and a Lost Boy before a fight could go too far, but still these boys were children. The monsters that used to haunt your nightmares were just humans.

You liked it on Neverland. Pan had given up on trying to tell you what to do, and instead you did whatever you pleased. You could wander the island as you pleased. You were careful of dreamshade and mermaids, of course, and you didn’t go into the dark forest because you were rebellious, not stupid.

You were planning on going on another escapade today when Pan walked over to you. He sat beside you on the log you had been resting on.

“Can I help you?” you asked as you laced up your boots.

“Yeah. You can take these back. I’m tired of having them clutter my shelves.”

You looked up at him as he handed you a cloth sack. Hope surging through your veins, you tore open the bag. There it all was. Your hairpins, tools, the knife. He had given you your stuff back! About time, too. If he didn't have his cabin so heavily protected with magic, you would have gotten it all back a lot sooner.

You looked back up at him about to say something, but he was already walking away. You frowned a bit as you watched him. He had been uncharacteristically distant lately, hardly talking to you or even looking at you. It saddened you a bit. As hard as you tried not to, you had befriended him. And you tried even harder to stop it, but you also were falling for him.

You sighed as you stood, slipping the knife into your sheath and putting your things back where they belonged. Grabbing some food and shoving it all into your new bag, you headed out of the camp.

You had learned where all the best paths were, the places where the ground was smoothed by years of walking. The path you were on led you through the jungle and down towards the beach. You knew Pan didn’t mind it when you went down to the beach. After all, you never really tried to escape,but you did miss your father and the Jolly Roger.

Loneliness and old memories drifted through your mind as you walked along the dirt trail. Eventually, you reached the beach that you had nearly died to get to so many weeks ago. It didn’t really feel like weeks, though. In a place where time stood still, there was hardly any concept of time at all.

The sand moved under your feet as you walked making it hard to stay upright. You sat down near the edge of the water, just close enough to where the waves could occasionally reach your feet. You sat while hugging your knees close to your chest, thinking.

You thought about your father, how worried he probably was. You thought about the pirates who brought you here, who Pan and the Lost Boys had driven away. You thought about Pan, too. He was acting so strange and you didn’t know why. Lately, you had seen him talking with Felix more so than usual. He often looked angry, or sometimes even confused. You had tried asking him about it once and he snapped at you for eavesdropping. He didn’t mean to, though, and he apologized to you afterward, but it still hurt a bit and was super confusing. Especially since he hardly ever apologized.

Everything about Pan was super confusing. You knew he was capable of evil, hell you’d seen it in the way he yelled at the boys and how they always seemed so hesitant around him, but it never seemed to be to the standard that your father held him to. Was your dad wrong? Or had Pan just changed? What was even more confusing was how you felt about him. You knew you were attracted to him and you hated it. Mostly because you knew he wouldn’t like you back. Felix had told you that Pan wasn’t big on relationships. They made him look soft, and he didn’t want to give his enemies that advantage. At least, that’s what he had told Felix when the second-in-command tried to make a move. Well, at least the blond boy got over him and was now getting it with Pan’s champion hunter, Lucas.

You huffed in frustration as you fell back against the sand. Why did you have to feel so trapped all the time? Every single time you thought you had gained freedom something ruined it. Freedom from your mom? Guilt and feeling obligated to help her. Freedom from your dad? He was protective and you missed him. Freedom from those pirates? Mermaids. Freedom on Neverland? Couldn’t leave. Freedom from the crushing weight of your feelings? Pan. Fucking damn it all to Hell.

“You okay there, love?” Speak of the devil.

You scowled a bit as a shadow blocked out the sun. Pan stood over you and looked down with what seemed like genuine concern. You resisted the urge to punch him.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you answered bitterly. “What do you want? Aren’t you busy discussing whatever with Felix?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he sat down beside you. “What are you talking about?”

“You, Pan. I’m talking about you.” You sat up and glared at him a little. “You with your sneaking off and leaving every time I try to talk to you. You and your conversing with Felix and then yelling at me when I ask about it. You and your stupid eyebrows and being so confusing all the time. Just you!” You shouted and jabbed a finger at his chest.

Now it was his turn to be confused. “Y/n, you know I didn’t mean to yell at you like that. I was just frustrated. And what about my eyebrows?”

You made a noise of frustration and threw your hands in the air. The waves lapped at your feet, their murmurs calming you a little.

You sighed quietly after a moment and turned back to him. “Why have you been avoiding me? And don’t say you haven’t been because yes you have.”

Pan bit his lip slightly and glanced down. You would have said he looked embarrassed if you hadn’t known any better, but then again maybe you didn’t know better. You had fallen for the devil, hadn’t you?

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said slowly. “I was just...I was trying something.” From the look on your face he realized this wasn’t the best answer to give and he quickly back peddled. “I mean I was seeing if I was right about something, uh, was figuring something out.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed at his lousy reply. Of course it was strange to see him stumbling over his words and getting all flustered over whatever it was, but he was still being annoying. Damn him for being cute while doing it, though.

“And what, exactly, were you trying to figure out, Pan?” you asked in a harsh and bored tone.

He waited a moment, perhaps hoping the waves or the wind would answer for him instead. However, nothing came to his aid. Peter Pan was on his own as he faced your stone-cold e/c eyes.

You shook your head and started to get up and walk away when he blurted out the one thing you had expected the least.

“I was trying to figure out if I loved you or not!”

You stopped where you stood, just a few feet away from him but it felt like it was a lot further for some reason. When you turned back around, slowly, Pan was sitting exactly where you left him, but he looked different. You knew he hadn’t changed at all, but now he looked smaller. Vulnerable. Even, if you looked close enough, scared. And he was staring at you with those wide green eyes, waiting.

“What did you just say?”

He swallowed thickly and held your gaze. “I said I was trying to figure out if I loved you or not. And...Y/n I think I do.”

Your breath caught in your throat a bit. He loved you back? What the fuck? You slowly walked back over and sat in front of him. You searched his face, looking for any sign of a trick, a game, but he looked so genuine that you wanted to believe him.

“Do you really mean that?” you asked softly, and he nodded a little bit.

“I think...I might love you, too. Is that weird?”

He smiled and relaxed a bit. “I don’t think so.”

“But what about your reputation? And all that stuff about your enemies?”

He laughed a little and took your hand, and you would be lying if you tried to say there weren’t any butterflies. You weren’t going to say anything about it, but still.

“I think having someone as badass as you by my side makes up for it.”

“So...just to make things official. Are you going to be my boyfriend, Pan?”

“Call me Peter, and only if you’d like me to.”

You smiled softly and gently pulled him over so that you could nestle into his side, and that was an answer enough to him. It felt so right, being there with him. So right, in fact, that you both fell asleep right there on the beach, snuggled into one another’s arms. Who knew Peter Pan was so comfy? Being with him now felt so liberating, and you never wanted it to change. However, neither of you were up to notice when a certain ship sailed out of the fog and towards the shore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @soft-petey @tommysparker @bebbeb @stixnstripesworld @orowit @dreamerinthesun @ididntseeurbag @lazydogscatsperson

If you want to be added to my taglist please fill out my form on my masterlist! If you want to taken out just comment! <3

128 notes · View notes

normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke · 4 years

Text

Why I Still Identify as Pan: An Update

Here’s the thing about LGBTQ+ people: not all of us grew up online. Some of us had limited access to the internet or were monitored heavily. I was one of those people who was monitored heavily, and I was taught by my (very Christian) family that being gay was not allowed. I’ve noticed a trend of former-Christian pan people, and as I started to piece together more info about the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, it started to make more sense to me.

Our research was limited to what we could reasonably pass as “just being curious”. A google search or two. Maybe a forum if you were lucky. Certainly not any kind of social media account where you could explore your sexuality. Maybe a gay friend if you could get away with it (I was homeschooled so my gay friends didn’t happen until I moved to public school at age 14).

When I was growing up, the definition that came up when you looked up bisexual was “attracted to both men and women”. As someone who had a vague idea of the existence of nonbinary people, that didn’t feel right to me. The definition that comes up when you look up pansexual, on the other hand, fit me perfectly. “Pansexuality is sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity”. The bi people I saw in my life reflected the definition I saw online. They were cis, gender-conforming people dating other cis, gender-conforming people, and that wasn’t my experience at all.

I didn’t have a Tumblr account where I could be privately “out” until I was 15. I didn’t encounter pan discourse until I was around 16. By that time pansexuality was mine, I was settled comfortably in my community and I had no intention of changing. Without fail, every single “pan exclusionist” I saw was just straight up mean. They never made any valid points, they never even explained why they disliked pan people, it was the same mindless hate I had seen directed at gay people my entire life. It was nothing new for me to be hated for being who I am.

I was 18 before I saw someone explain why some bi people disliked pan people. I had identified as pan for 3 years. I felt bad that people in my community had treated bi people poorly, but it didn’t make me stop wanting to be pan, it made me want to fix it. I made it a goal to (gently but firmly) correct biphobia where I saw it.

I acknowledge that pansexuality came from a misunderstanding of bisexuality. I also understand that stories like mine don’t happen as much anymore. Gay people are more accepted now and the dictionary definition of bisexuality has changed to be more inclusive. But I need you to understand that I’m not going to stop calling myself pan. Not everyone grew up in the same LGBTQ+ community you did, not everyone knew about the nuances of the bi label from day one, not everyone wants to change their sexuality to please you. All I see when I see “battleax bi” or “pan exclusionist” is someone who lacks the ability to see that.

#this is probably the last statement I'm going to make on this #pan discourse #panphobia tw #biphobia tw

6 notes · View notes

barricorn · 5 years

Text

as a bisexual who could identify as pansexual, I am so cautious when I see someone saying something along the lines of "bisexual is not a dirty word, it's okay to identify as bisexual"

It is almost always a sneaky little way to shame people for identifying as pansexuaI

I literally just saw one from someone who also said there is essentially no difference between bi and pan

yes, pan people can fall under a bi umbrella but not every bi person can correctly ID as pan!

pan is SPECIFICALLY for attraction to all genders or attraction regardless of gender bi just means "more than one" which, yes, does allow an "all" definition but is NOT RESTRICTED TO IT

bi people who aren't attracted to men CANNOT BE PAN bi people who are not attracted to women CANNOT BE PAN bi people who don't feel attraction to some/any nonbinary genders CANNOT BE PAN

if you tried to say there was no difference between "mammal" and "dog" because all dogs are mammals people would rightfully call you a dumbass

#bi #pan #bisexual #pansexual #pan positivity #panphobia #discourse #stop! shitting! on! pan! people!#f

135 notes · View notes

buoyantsaturn · 5 years

Note

Quick question: I saw somewhere that you identify as ace? (And it’s okay if you don’t want to answer this ask.) I guess I was just wondering what that journey was/is like? I’m thinking about it, and also maybe aro, but there isn’t a lot out there sometimes and it’s hard to sift through all the different voices. There’s a lot of absence of this, but not what I’m feeling. Or maybe even demisexual, if you know anything about that. Thanks, if you do choose to answer this. I really love your blog.

hello!! thanks for asking!!

i’ve been identifying as ace for about 5 years now, so i don’t really remember how i settled on that label, and i still have yet to narrow down the -romantic side of it, but we’ll get to that (or maybe we won’t, lets see where my mind takes this)

i’ve always had that problem that i know a lot of lesbians have had where all the girls in their classes are talking about boys, so the lesbian will just pick a boy and say they have a crush on them - i was the same way until pretty much until I came out as ace, but even then I was convincing myself that i had crushes on guys because it felt like i was supposed to. i remember when i first came out to my best friend, i told her i thought i was ace, and explained what that was, and then immediately said “and i think i have a crush on this guy” because 1) at the time i thought it was true, and 2) i wanted to normalize the conversation for someone who had never had someone come out to them

i think the term that resonated with me the most when i was in high school was “sex-repulsed asexual” which idek if thats a term people still use, but it was the feeling that even the idea of getting into a sexual relationship with someone made you sick to your stomach - i started to identify with this after learning that my classmates were having sex at 15-16-17 and it horrified me

i tried the demisexual identity (and even considered “demi-romantic” which idk if thats even a thing but i was pretty set on the whole “ace” thing at that point) for a few months to see how it felt, but personally i don’t think that’s right for me either. I have this problem identifying the feelings i have toward people, sometimes people i’ve known for a while, sometimes people ive just met. i start to convince myself that i have a crush on somebody solely because i want to spend more time with them and become friends but for some reason my brain takes the jump to “you’re supposed to get into a relationship with people you like even though youve never done that before,” so i could never tell if it was “youre friends with this person, now you’re allowed to feel attracted to them romantically” or what was going on. this is the thing that made me start to consider in the last few months that i might be biromantic - and who knows, maybe i am - but honestly? i saw a tumblr post that talked about how aro people sometimes feel like theyre bi/pan because they feel the same amount of attraction to all people regardless of gender, the only difference is that attraction is entirely platonic and not romantic. i just don’t know the difference because ive never felt romantic or sexual attraction to know how it differs from platonic

i hope any of this is helpful to you, and i can’t find the specific post i referenced but if you look through the aro/ace tag on my blog i have a lot of resources there that have helped me to slowly narrow down my identity!! if you ever want to talk more i’m here to help!!(also thank you so much for asking honestly it feels really good to talk this out and process it externally rather than internally, so that might help too!!)

#ask #anonymous #aro/ace

8 notes · View notes

onceuponawildflower · 5 years

Note

hi sarah! i have been a follower for a long time and saw your recent post coming out (congrats!) i think it’s so liberating to define for ourselves how we feel. for me, identifying as queer has been a huge step towards letting go of a lot of things. out of curiosity, what led you to pansexual vs. bisexual? good luck on your journey!

Thank you!

I’ve also been exploring spirituality in the last year or so, and in doing a lot of spirit/heart work, opening myself in other ways, I found that detaching myself from the foundation I grew up with in a very dualistic, polarized system that raised me and created a lot of my formative, fundamental opinions and outlooks on life allowed me to explore more of who I was as a whole. I explored spirituality more, but I also found that I had so much love to give. And not only love to give, but love to share and feel for those around me, if that makes sense.

I would see womxn and started to feel like I wanted to be more than friends with me. It started off gentle and just wanted to cuddle with some people, but it transformed over time. It actually scared me at first, entering in feelings and sensations I didn’t ever associate with non CIS-gendered heteronormative males before, but the more I resisted it, the more it resounded.

At first, I thought I was bisexual, but when I did more research and heart work, trying to understand my feelings, I realized that how I feel resounds more with pansexual than bisexual. From what I understand it, bi is being attracted to your gender and another. Pan however, is based more so on the energy someone brings, and that attracts me first, regardless of gender or sex. That comes second to me/almost doesn’t matter to me. I’m just really drawn to energies and that’s what I gravitate towards.

The first person I was attracted to and went on a date with after I came out was a trans man. While we’re not dating, I still think he’s incredible and our shared energies were the best I’ve experienced with someone on any date, ever. I’m not exaggerating.

I haven’t actually come out to my family because I know how that would go and maybe I’m a coward but I don’t want to lose them and I love them so much but I’m not ready to potentially lose them. But my friends have been very supportive and at least I have that.

Thank you for asking about this! I wish the best journey to you in discovering who you are and what pronounds/adjectives resound the best with you. <3

7 notes · View notes

hesthekingofsomewhere · 6 years

Text

Yet Another Chatfic pt 5

part 1 I 2 I 3 I 4

this is a long chapter! and im posting it ahead of schedule! bc I love yall!

please leave comments! likes! I love feedback!

Also! this chapter has a peek into sarah, finch, and alberts groupchat

Queens of New York

8:15

santagay: say yeet if you made it home alive

DJacobs: Yeet!

SJ420: yeet

richbitch: yeet

Spot8365631: yeet

respecs: yeet

albiehadalittlelamb: yeet

WhereforeArtThou: yeet

noteventhatshort: yeet

SJ420: wheres finchy boy?

littlebirdie: still at their apt

littlebirdie: oh right

littlebirdie added crispycrutch to Queens of New York

PM with albiehadalittlelamb

santagay: al, finch slept over

albiehadalittlelamb: yeah ik?

santagay: i hate to say this and be that guy, but al, he slept in crutchies room

santagay: ik whats its like to be cheated on, and i never thought i would be having this conversation about finch but I dont want you to get hurt.

albiehadalittlelamb: ill ask finch, im sure nothing happened

PM with littlebirdie

albiehadalittlelamb: did my fake bf cheat on me?

littlebirdie: …

albiehadalittlelamb: GET SOME BOIII

littlebirdie: lmao so your not mad?

albiehadalittlelamb: why would I be mad? even if we were dating id be chill about this, ik you have a huge thing for crutchie and lord knows youd never get any action from me

albiehadalittlelamb: the only problem is that jack thinks your cheating on me

littlefinch: ok so should we fake-break up? cuz i kind of dont want to, but if jack thinks im cheating on you…

albiehadlittlelamb: i have a plan

albiehadalittlelamb: does crutchie know that were fake dating?

littlebirdie: ye, theres no way i would even be allowed into his room if we were actually dating

albiehadalittlelamb: ok but heres the thing, if jack thinks you cheated on me, then race probably thinks the same

littlebirdie: oooHHHHHH

littlebirdie: so now im also fake cheating on you so that race will feel bad and fall for you and your sad situation

albiehadalittlebird: exactly!

littlebirdie: nice! what could possibly go wrong

Queens of New York

respecs: so why is this chat called queens of new york

inyourFACEtrack: well you see…

inyourFACEtrack: twas all hallows eve 2017

inyourFACEtrack: and 7 of us showed up to kaths halloween as drag queens completely independantly

noteventhatshort: and sarah kath jack and i were dressed as disney princesses

respecs: thats beautiful

respecs: and here i thought it was bc ?everyone? here is lbgtq

santagay: well if you think about it, its both

richbitch: when was the last time we even had a straight in this chat?

crispycrutch: i think we had morris in the chat for a week when he was dating romeo

santagay: oh god i forgot about that

SJ420: does he even count as a straight?

inyourFACEtrack: well there was a reason he was only in the chat for a week so…

santagay: true, speaking of which

santagay: specs, if you ever hurt romeo, we will find out where you live and steal all of you soap lest you ever get a date again

respecs: noted?

SJ420: he gave me the same threat when I started dating kath lmao

santagay: it worked didnt it?

SJ420: im hate you

santagay: you loved me once loser

WhereforeArtThou: oh shit he went there

inyourFACEtrack: oooooooooooo

crispycrutch: ??????

SJ420: once upon a time i thought i was a het, and then i dated jack for like 2 months

SJ420: and 90% of our relationship was checking out pretty girls together

SJ420: so i figured i should date those pretty girls

noteventhatshort: BIG MOOD

SJ420: for the record the other 10% of the relationship was jack checking out “cute” boys and me being like eh

santagay: and herre i thought you were just trying to stop me from being jealous

SJ420: jack at one point i kissed another girl in front of you and you did not care

noteventhatshort: AHHH

inyourFACEtrack: OOOF

richbitch: AN ICON

santagay: ok well

SJ420: don’t even try bud

DJacobs: That’s my sister!!!!!

santagay: but at least you didnt hide it

santagay: at least you werent kissing people behind my back like SOME people in this chat

SJ420: ????

Spot8365631: i thought you were over that

santagay: i am i just need to have moral high ground over someone

inyourFACEtrack: wait what

noteventhatshort: is this chat just stories of jack getting cheated on now?

richbitch: im living for this

richbitch: jack cant keep a man nor woman

noteventhatshort: but whats this about spot cheating on jack?

santagay: he BROKE my FRAGILE 15 y/o HEART

santagay: but spottie was too cool, lived too fast, couldnt be tied down to one man

Spot8365631: also david was a much better kisser

SJ420: OH SHIT PLOT TWIST

richbitch: CALLED OUT

inyourFACEtrack: 911? theres been a murder?

DJacobs: This…. is true.

inyourFACEtrack: THE LEGEND HIMSELF SPEAKS

respecs: i am living for the drama in this chat

crispycrutch: were kind of a mess tbh

respecs: i understand and completely respect that

inyourFACEtrack: you reSPECt that?

respecs: haha very funny not like thats my goddamn username or anything

Spot8365631: roasted

inyourFACEtrack: bitch

inyourFACEtrack: YO JACK ROMEO, GOT MY MFN 29TH

santagay: fuck offfffff

WhereforeArtThou: this bet is unfair

WhereforeArtThou: im only attracted to one gender, thats less than half the people to ask

santagay: dude ur still winning

WhereforeArtThou: yeah but its a lot more work

inyourFACEtrack: i only have 1 girls number, i think its p even

santagay: this seems like something you should have considered when we started

WhereforeArtThou: ok but consider this

WhereforeArtThou: i didnt

inyourFACEtrack: ok but consider this

inyourFACEtrack: ur a dumbass

WhereforeArtThou: strong words coming from a guy who threw a wii remote out the window

noteventhatshort: fight fight fight fight

inyourFACEtrack: my embarrassments are not ur entertainment smalls

noteventhatshort: ur embarrassments are my only entertainment what r u talking about

Spot8365631: also everything you do is embarrassing

inyouFACEtrack: i feel betrayed

santagay: you should

santagay: i once saw u put hot chocolate mix in oj

inyourFACEtrack: it tastes like a terrys chocolate orange i stand by my choices

crispycrutch: you snorted mr noodles seasoning bc spot told you to

inyourFACEtrack: and i got 20$ for it

Spot8365631: u didnt “””get”””” 20$ ur debt to me was just slightly reduced

inyourFACEtrack: EITHER WAY

crispycrutch: once i watched u drop a spoon into a pot of boiling water and stick ur hand in to get it

inyourFACEtrack: i think ur point has been made, thnk u crutchie

Spot8365631: please do not stop, hes had it coming

crispycrutch: i will stop only bc i value my safety and so i still have receipts for the future

inyourFACEtrack: oh god

inyourFACEtrack: why did i think it was a good idea to live with you

crispycrutch: bc you love me and i contribute to the rent

inyourFACEtrack: touche

crispycrutch: besides, i would have dirt on you regardless

crispycrutch: i have seen each and every one of you do stupid stuff, no one is safe

inyourFACEtrack: mooooom crutchies being meannnn

DJacobs: Crutchie, please delete your blackmail.

crispycrutch: how can i delete it when its in my brain

santagay: i have never been more scared of crutchie

SJ420: crutchie is my idol

crispycrutch: that does not make you safe my friend

SJ420: honestly at this point you could reveal anything about me and i would not care

SJ420: i have reached a god status where nothing you say could possibly embarrass me

richbitch: im so in love with you

SJ420: love you too babe

PM with SJ420

richbitch: ik youre in the next room but i dont want dave to hear, but I got a dinner reservation for two tomorrow at 7 and was wondering if you would like to join me

SJ420: i mean of course, but why are you asking me like this

richbitch: because

richbitch: also you should wear that dress you got for christmas

SJ420: ok?

More Than Just Cigars

SJ420: kath is acting weird

albiehadalittlelamb: what kind of weird

albiehadalittlelamb: like “i just lost a lot of money” weird

albiehadalittlelamb: “i just took a bunch of acid” weird?

littlebirdie: oh no is it “i just slept with jack” weird?!

SJ420: oh god no

SJ420: she texted me and asked me on a date

SJ420: i asked her why and she said because

littlebirdie: !!!!!!!!!

littlebirdie: DID SHE ASK YOU TO WEAR SOMETHING SPECIFIC

SJ420: ye, a dress from christmas

albiehadalittlelamb: OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD

littlebirdie: GIRL

SJ420: what????

littlebirdie: jfc ur blind

albiehadalittlelamb: if u havent caught on yet we cant morally help u srry

SJ420: GUYS PLEASE

littlebirdie: nope

albiehadalittlelamb: have fun on ur date tho

PM with santagay

albiehadalittlelamb: oh yeah finch did not, in fact cheat on me

albiehadalittlelamb: he was just making up with crutchie last night, they had a fight

santagay: and u trust finch in this

albiehadalittlelamb: ofc, ive known finch a long time, he would never

santagay: ok if you insist, i just dont want you to get hurt

albiehadalittlelamb: thanks jack

Queens of New York

littlebirdie: anyone else just, super glad that theyre gay?

littlebirdie: bc thats such an important feeling

DJacobs: Me too, Finch

Spot8365631: rt

SJ420: rt

noteventhatshort: rt

WhereforeArtThou: rt

albiehadalittlelamb: rt

santagay: rt but bi

inyourFACEtrack: rt but bi

richbitch: rt but bi

respecs: rt but bi

crispycrutch: rt but pan

littlebirdie has changed Queens of New York to Queers of New York

inyourFACEtrack: helllllll yeah

Spot8365631: no cussing, my mom checks my phone

inyourFACEtrack: oh my goodness im so sorry spot

inyourFACEtrack: ill delete the message right away

DJacobs: What?

DJacobs: Why does your mom check your messages, Spot?

DJacobs: You’re 23 and moved out?

DJacobs: Also I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you swear in this chat.

DJacobs: This is a meme, isn’t it?

santagay: u got there on ur own!

santagay: im so proud of u!

DJacobs: Thank you, Jack.

inyourFACEtrack: why does it feel like everyone is in loving and healthy relationships except me?

PM with inyourFACEtrack

Spot8365631: wow rude

inyourFACEtrack: were not in a relationship remember?

Queers of New York

DJacobs: Jack and I are not dating.

santagay: dude, were mom and dad, i think that’s close enough

respecs: question, in this mom/dad thing, who is everyone else

santagay: kath and sarah are the aunts obvi

inyourFACEtrack: smalls, romeo, crutchie, al, and i are their kids

inyourFACEtrack: finch used to be one of the kids but now hes dating al so that seems weird

inyourFACEtrack: i guess hes sarahs kid now?

SJ420: awwww i love my new son

respecs: what about spot?

santagay: hes kind of… his own entity… like an estranged uncle or neighbor that spends more time in ur house than his own

Spot8365631: rude but accurate

santagay: thats my name dont wear it out

Spot8365631: i hate you sm

santagay: then y r u always in my house???

Spot8365631: this metaphor has gone to far. blocked deleted and unfollowed.

santagay: honestly? thats fair

santagay: i respect ur choices

Spot8365631: sounds fake but ok

PM with Spot8365631

inyourFACEtrack: in a beautiful twist of fate, crutchie jack are going to see a movie with davey and kath, and im home alone with a meat lovers pizza on its way

Spot8365631: ok?

inyourFACEtrack: would you care to join me?

Spot8365631: no, sounds too much like a date, and were not in a relationship right?

inyourFACEtrack: dude, were friends, sharing a pizza, and maybe having anal sex

inyourFACEtrack: thats not a date its just what we do

Spot8365631: still no, i have to finish a foreign policy essay for tomorrow

inyourFACEtrack: oh ok

20 notes · View notes

vtori73 · 4 years

Text

*me recalling a post someone shared on labels*

Okay... it's still bugging me so I'm going to just talk about it. So, a post I saw ON HERE not twitter or Instagram or anywhere else but HERE where I normally don't expect to see posts like this waa reblogged to my dash. Im not going to say it's necessarily all bad but I am still a bit surprised that I saw it & just... doesn't really, at least too me, make any good arguments and more so comes off as wanting to police identities & caring more about understandability then actually caring about LGBTIA+/ Queer people.

Instead of forcing you all to scroll through my whole post if you don't want to read my word vomit I'll add a read more (quick cw for brief mention of harrasment/assault):

Now the basic gist of the post was wanting people to change the conversation of if certain labels are "valid" to "are these labels necessary or useful" which... in my honest opinion I think both conversation either way are kind of... pointless. They just feel like they kind of take time away from actual important topics that we, the LGBTIA/Queer community, should be having. Why are we still bothering with this pointlessness of labels similar to how people are overly obsessed with flag discourse or slur discourse NONE OF THIS ACTUALLY MATTERS FOR FUCKS SAKE in the grand scheme of things.

I'm not saying some labels can't be problematic of course... well probably. Like, for example this one I heard someone bring up that was put on a wiki about "wanting to have pure bloodlines" or something like that but... I feel like I shouldn't have to explain ALL of the why's to why that one shouldn't count as a legit example. Anyway, I bring this up because this WAS brought up as a counter to the argument someone made about labels, most likely a pro-label argument I don't remember exactly what was being said though this was Twitter not Tumblr though so it was unrelated to the post I'm discussing here.

This tumblr post I saw just seems like the thinking/foundation for what I see a lot in the gate-keeping LGBTIA+/Queer community. Bi people who are Panphobic using similar arguments against each other or against the other lesser known mspec identities such as Omni or Poly. Or more recently the arguments against mspec lesbians or more specifically bi/pan-lesbians and usually the arguments I find being used against these labels make LESS sense then pro-labels people who go "labels are valid."

Anyway I bring this up because when it comes to people against labels, discussing the importance of legitimacy of labels, and similar arguments tends to sound exactly like the arguments people who do police identities and such like transmeds, terfs, homophobes, biphobes etc. Why do our labels NEED to be useful, need to be understood? We don't seem to care about straight, cis, allo people understanding so why should we care when it comes to people within as well? Being "understood" also seems kind of... what's the word... "Pointless?" No, not exactly what I was going for but... it's close enough. Even when non-queer people DO understand us and our labels it doesn't somehow automatically make them allies to us, even the self-proclaimed allies who understand can still work against our best interests so why are we putting importance in ANYONE understanding our labels?

For example purposes I will breakdown the arguments against the label.

Okay so, people who are doing what op said they wanted to see more of in the post I'm referencing here were basically saying (that's isn't just x is bad) "Bi lesbians are harmful to the Lesbian community because men will use it as an excuse bother us/it shows men were available to them. Bi lesbians are also bad because they are tearing down something Bi people worked hard for, to have their own separate community. Bi-lesbians also are bad because terfs created the term."

Alright, so for the first point this one isn't obvious to some but is for many other how messed up the argument is because it basically amounts to nothing more then victim blaming, basically "your asking to be harassed by men if you can possibly be attracted to them" which is a huge slap in the face to straight, but ESPECIALLY bi women who ARE statistically more often victims of abuse. Not to mention this argument makes less sense you you recall that lesbians often DO voice how men will continue to hit on them REGARDLESS of what they say their sexuality is so if straight men decided to use "bi-lesbians" as an excuse one day it only really proves how insidious they are and not the labels legitimacy.

For the second point this is normally made by Lesbians and... look im not saying you can't speak up for us but what made this even WORSE specifically was that Lesbians at the same time were saying that ONLY Lesbians can speak on this "bi-lesbian" discourse which just... voids any good will they may have had initially. You don't GET to speak about others identities & their histories while ALSO telling them to shut the fuck up because thats NOT how this shit works especially when you're spouting ahistorical nonsense. Which yeah, they were/are. The argument was not only bad because of the speaking over Bi people but it was also just legitimately WRONg... well, maybe at the least just glosses over some BIG details. Like, for example that, yes, Bi people DID work hard to make their own space BUT were you also aware that Bi people WERE apart of the Lesbian community with open arms for a time before political lesbianism became a thing & took power in the Lesbian community which resulted in kicking out anyone they didn't like because I feel leaving that out is kind of wrong but I guess it does make their argument look bad. Also not to mention that as a Bi person bi-lesbians don't bother me, they don't negativity effect Bi people just by existing so I have no qualms with them & a decent amount of other Bi people feel the same so... like I said before don't speak for a community you're not apart of, especially when you're also telling us to shut up at the same time!

The last point is also wrong, I'm not bringing up sources but basically the idea that terfs started is actually, you guessed it, due to terfs! Sorry.. that's probably confusing but actually terfs don't like the label so they started the misinformation that terfs(& similar) started it to get people against it which makes sense if you understand who terfs hate. Terfs, specifically the ones within the lesbian community are not much different from political lesbians & I wouldn't be all that surprised if thats what a lot them were or would have been if that was still a thing. I would say a closer equivalent would be "gold star Lesbians" or anyone who thinks it's a good term but ANYWAY the point was that a lot the Lesbians who hold one of these beliefs/identities TENDS to hold the other because they aren't all that much different so it's easy to see why they would want to destroy the term vs actually want it around.

I almost forgot one part of the argument though, and that was that the misinformation was that "terfs created it too separate trans lesbians from the lesbian label" which... Look I'm sorry but if you know terfs this honestly doesn't make all that much sense, yes terfs ARE mainly against trans people it's in the name but don't lie and tell me that plenty of terfs also haven't been found to be against queer, bi, & asexual people as well so I don't see them wanting to ever create the term "bi-lesbian" even if it is to be transphobic. But if we disregard that line of thinking the argument also falls flat when you immediately just... TALK to any Bi-lesbian and ask them why they use label because most who use it tend to be non-binary people who have fluid genders and thus have complicated relationships with their sexuality. Even then some just use it too mean they have strong connections to the Lesbian community for whatever reason! There are probably other reasons but my brains fried so that's all I'm listing but I feel like my point should have sank in by now anyway.

So, after having bare through my long example I hope my point has gotten through but if it hasn't I will summarize: not all labels in the end are going to be "helpful, useful, or needed" BUT that's doesn't make them bad just because of that fact and policing labels & identities in the end is more harmful to the community then not. Instead of caring whether a label is useful or not let's instead focus on making sure we don't allow harmful, bigoted rhetoric and thinking to continue to thrive and permeate our communities, whether online or not so we can keep them from overtaking our spaces... again. And if there really are ACTUALLY harmful labels popping up let's MAKE SURE they are actually harmful and then deal with them accordingly!

Note: if your curious as to why I wrote "LGBTIA+/Queer" I'm going to explain below:

Basically I do it because I feel its weird to put Queer in the middle of acronyms that fall under the queer umbrella. Not to mention that I think it makes more sense to have it be a separate thing considering plenty of queer people don't care for the term being used for them or with them/etc. I like to use Queer for all people who can fall under the term & are accepting/ok with it being used for them more then I like to use the acronym but the acronym is good for anyone who doesn't like to use Queer or for allies to use. I'm not saying it's perfect thinking or other people should change how they use the labels/acronym but that's just my reasoning and I don't see any actual negatives too it so I used it here but as always I'm open to being wrong!

0 notes

sleepless-obsidian · 7 years

Text

i think a huge problem within the lgbt community is this huge desire to scientifically categorize every aspect of human attraction, which ended up creating mogai. for example:

bi vs. pan vs. every other “multiple gender attraction” label

bi originally meant “attraction to two genders” which Originally Meant “attraction to the same binary gender/sex and the opposite binary gender/sex”

then pan ( “attraction regardless of gender” ) was created with the infamous motto “hearts not parts!”

do you not see something wrong with this?

when i was young and saw these two labels i was so confused and decided that i must be pan because i wouldn’t mind being with a trans person

thankfully, it allowed me to put my own transphobia under a microscope but that’s not the point

the point is that the continued use of pan to mean “hearts not parts” is inherently transphobic, implies trans is a nonbinary gender??? and also implies that bi people are only attracted to someone bc of their parts

when in reality, the modern definition of bi, as defined by most bi people, includes trans people and doesn’t just mean “attraction to two binary genders” anymore

in my opinion, the reason bi gets trampled and erased in lgbt spaces is bc pan created that moral dissonance between being bi and being pan (ie- “i can’t be bi because i would date a trans person, i’m pan”)

moving on to nonbinary

some of y’all need to hear this:

there’s no “criteria” for being nonbinary

and believe it or not, being nonbinary doesn’t suddenly exclude you from every other lgbt space!

there are nonbinary lesbians, nonbinary gays, people who are trans nonbinary and physically transition, people who are trans nonbinary and don’t physically transition

and — and this one is wild guys — there are nonbinary people..... with......... gendered pronouns

whether that be because they could fit within the genderfluid label but prefer to be nonbinary, or because they align more with one gender or because they aren’t out to some people or because they just.... like those pronouns

their pronouns don’t suddenly make them less nonbinary than other people

pronouns do not have to explicitly imply someone’s gender

on the track of pronouns: it is not harming you in any way to respect a he/him lesbian’s pronouns. thanks.

finally: my opinion on ace discourse

please try and understand why you identify that way

coming from someone who identified as grey-ace (me) and has struggled with my identity for a long time, i recently realized that it was coming from my vague grasp of my gender, extremely low self esteem, depression, and whole bunch of personal issues

my asexuality (and brief period of being lithromantic) made me incredibly sad and uncomfortable and only just recently i found out that most of my reasons for identifying that way were all lesbian experiences of comphet

i’ve also noticed that a lot of trans people are ace and i feel like that says more about how they experience dysphoria than how they experience sexual attraction

obviously i’m not saying that every single ace person is trans or a lesbian or insecure or is even having remotely the same experience as me because that’s obnoxious

but still, that’s the point

tldr: it’s obnoxious to create all these extra terms to classify people because it splits us up and confuses young people more than it should and because it causes this witch-hunt mentality to weed out all the “fakers” in a group. it’s bad.

#zoe no #oh jeez #discourse ?#how do i tag this #long post

1 note · View note

realtransfacts · 7 years

Note

Hello! I just saw a slogan tshirt and it said "gender is irrelevant" I liked it because i pretty much like people regardless of gender, but i also know that the real message is diferent... i honestly don't know if i'm gonna disrespect someone - thoughts? (sorry, if something sounds weird, my native tongue is not english! thank you!)

There are a lot of people (me included) who take issue with phrasings like that. Since my gender is a very big and very important part of me, and something I constantly have to fight to have people acknowledge and respect, it feels very invalidating to have someone tell me - directly or indriectly - that it is “irrelevant”.

But like you said you feel, a lot of people also feel that gender is not a deciding factor for the attraction they feel for other people. There are a lot of pan people who define their pan-ness as “attraction regardless of gender”, just as one example.

(And there is also some overlap between these groups, of course.)

So I guess, if you want that shirt and want to use it as a way to show pride for your orientation? You can do that. You are absolutely allowed to do that.

But yes, it is likely going to offend some people.

#starandstardust

12 notes · View notes

mastcomm · 5 years

Text

Your Friday Briefing – The New York Times

Coronavirus deaths soar past 600 in China

At least 636 people in China have died from the coronavirus, the Chinese government said, as more than 3,000 new cases were confirmed overnight.

The outbreak has now sickened more than 31,000 people in Asia, as well as at least 31 others in Europe and 61 on a quarantined cruise ship in Japan. Follow the latest updates here.

Among the dead is Dr. Li Wenliang from Wuhan, the epicenter of the outbreak, who was silenced by the authorities after he warned about the virus in late December. Dr. Li, 34, later became a potent icon for Chinese people who are angry over the government’s handling of the crisis.

Our reporters across the globe are also tracking these developments:

The authorities in Wuhan have escalated an existing lockdown by ordering house-to-house searches, rounding up the sick and placing them in enormous quarantine centers. They have also begun enrolling coronavirus patients in an experimental trial of an antiviral medicine that has shown promise in laboratory studies.

Africa — where health systems are fragile and doctors are straining to contain outbreaks of malaria, measles and Ebola — may be particularly vulnerable to the coronavirus. There are no confirmed cases on the continent yet, but it has large numbers of Chinese workers who are returning to their jobs after going home for the Lunar New Year holiday.

Many experts remain concerned that coronavirus may be spreading through asymptomatic individuals. Some, but not all, see clues in a cluster of infections in Germany.

Democratic race in turmoil after Iowa stumbles

Thanks to a troubled Iowa caucus system that has been mired in confusion for three days, the Democratic Party’s effort to nominate a candidate to face President Trump in the November presidential election is now in disarray. Here’s a roundup of our Iowa coverage.

Bickering among Democrats about their own voting system is “an early setback for a party that was already ideologically fractured between left and center and staring at a nomination fight that may last into the summer,” two of our political correspondents write.

Related: A Times analysis found that the results released by the Iowa Democratic Party were riddled with inconsistencies and other flaws.

What’s happening: Iowa officials reported late Thursday that Senator Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg were locked in a virtual tie in the delegate count, with 99 percent of the results tabulated. But they did not declare a winner.

What’s next: Most of the top Democratic candidates are now campaigning in New Hampshire before its Feb. 11 primary. A new poll there showed Mr. Sanders leading, with Mr. Buttigieg close behind.

Health care and housing weigh on Irish election

Voters in Ireland are poised to evict Prime Minister Leo Varadkar in an election on Saturday that may turn on domestic problems.

As Britain prepared to leave the European Union, Mr. Varadkar successfully extracted a deal that avoided a hard border between the Irish Republic and Northern Ireland — by aligning the north with the Continent more closely than the rest of the United Kingdom.

But as Mr. Varadkar, 41, campaigns on his diplomatic skills, Irish voters fault him for failing to confront the cost of health care and a housing shortage that was prompted by the 2008 economic crisis.

Background: Many people outside Ireland saw the election of Mr. Varadkar — a physician who is the son of an Indian doctor and a Catholic Irish nurse — as a symbol of the country’s embracing a tolerant, multiracial modernity. But much of the Irish public sees him as aloof and distant.

What to look for: The Irish nationalist party, Sinn Fein, and the opposition Fianna Fail lead Mr. Varadkar’s Fine Gael in a poll released on Monday by The Irish Times.

If you have half an hour, this is worth it

Trump’s financial lifeline

The Times Magazine has the inside story of President Trump’s long, complicated relationship with Deutsche Bank, his lender of last resort.

Above, Trump International Hotel & Tower in Chicago, for which Deutsche Bank agreed to lend Mr. Trump $640 million in 2005.

By lending him more than $2 billion over two decades, the $1.5 trillion German lender played a large role in positioning a strapped businessman to become president of the United States.

But those same loans cemented Deutsche Bank’s reputation for recklessness — and made it a magnet for prosecutors, regulators and lawmakers hoping to penetrate Mr. Trump’s opaque financial affairs.

Here’s what else is happening

Germany: A state governor in the eastern state of Thuringia, who was elected leader with support from both the far-right Alternative for Germany party and a branch of Chancellor Angela Merkel’s center-right Christian Democrats, said on Thursday that he planned to step down after just one day in office. Ms. Merkel had called the election’s outcome “inexcusable.”

Boeing: The company and U.S. safety officials refused to cooperate on Thursday with an inquiry by Dutch lawmakers into a crash near Amsterdam in 2009 that killed nine people and had striking parallels with two recent accidents involving the manufacturer’s 737 Max. The inquiry was prompted by a Times investigation.

Finland: All new parents will be allowed 164 days of paid parental leave as early as next year, regardless of gender or whether they are a child’s biological parents. The changes will increase a couple’s total allowance to more than 14 months from 11½ months, making Finland’s paternity leave policies among the most generous in Europe.

Cook: Finish the week with a hearty one-pan meal of roast chicken and mustard-glazed cabbage.

Go: “Angels in America,” Tony Kushner’s epic play about the AIDS crisis in the United States, is now playing in Paris.

Smarter Living: Our advice column Culture Therapist suggests ways to solve your problems using art. Today’s question is about opening oneself to new romantic relationships.

And now for the Back Story on …

Covering the Oscars

The Oscars are just two days away, and that means it’s crunchtime for Kyle Buchanan, The Times’s Carpetbagger columnist. He spoke to Sara Aridi of the Culture desk about what it’s like to cover the awards show.

What stands out about this year’s season?

After last year, when Netflix was so ascendant, people are very excited about movies in the theater. “1917” is one of those movies that you need to see in a theater, and “Parasite” became such a huge word-of-mouth hit in the theater. Those movies provide that encapsulation of what we go to the movies for.

We go to see something on a gigantic screen that moves us in a gigantic way. We go to be transported into an experience that startles and shocks us. Streaming has its virtues and its pleasure, but I think those are two unique testimonials to what the theatrical experience can be.

Do the Oscars still carry weight in pop culture?

Absolutely. If the Oscars reflect Hollywood in 2020, it says that we’re still going through growing pains about the streaming era and that we still have a lot of ground to make up when it comes to representation and whose stories we take seriously.

How have you been preparing for the big night?

I’m trying to get a full night’s sleep. In the campaigning phase, from November to the Oscar nominations, you can go to a brunch for a certain star, and then to a lunchtime screening with a Q. and A., and then to an afternoon performance of a song contender, and then a premiere and then an after-party.

What else have you seen that readers might not know?

Joaquin Phoenix, who’s up for best actor for “Joker,” has been a fascinating figure on this circuit. He’s trying to both play the game and stay out of it at the same time. All these awards shows have bent over backward to attract him.

I never would have thought I would miss the boiled chicken breast I usually got at these shows, but they have converted to a plant-based menu in the hopes that Joaquin will attend.

That’s it for this briefing. Have a great weekend.

— Mike

Thank you To Mark Josephson and Eleanor Stanford for the break from the news. You can reach the team at [email protected].

P.S. • We’re listening to “The Daily.” Our latest episode is about Senator Mitt Romney’s vote to convict President Trump. • Here’s today’s Mini Crossword puzzle, and a clue: Toppled over (four letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • The New York Times Company said in its fourth-quarter earnings report that it now has more than five million subscriptions, including 3.5 million digital-only ones for its core news product.

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/your-friday-briefing-the-new-york-times-11/

#Event

0 notes