#i see women just. falling for it. like me. and i feel like cassandra

[ovaruling]

i know we are all critical of buccal fat removal and that many women get very weirdly defensive abt it and try to leverage that critics of it don’t know firsthand and i just want to offer up that i had buccal fat removal when i was 24 (? i cant even remember now—i was in a bad place after an abusive relationship and was getting invasive cosmetic surgeries done left and right) so i CAN actually tell you with firsthand experience to NOT do it. it IS as bad as everyone is telling you. it IS as ruinous as we are saying. it DOES butcher your face irreparably. so pls don’t come at me being like “you have no idea how would you even know” cuz lmao i literally did it. i fell for the lie. i cannot reverse it, i cannot fix it. i regret it every day of my life. i will never have my face back. don’t fall for the lie cuz it IS a lie.

i had thee absolute top surgeon in my state and it was still a lie. i did everything he said and my recovery was “perfect” and it was still a lie.

it’s not “haters” who are “jealous” of you saying you’re scheduling your buccal fat removal surgery. it’s a not-insignificant number of women like me who fell for that shit and yknow what, now i AM jealous of you, ironically, bc you haven’t yet gone through with it. cuz you still have your own wonderful natural face and you have the option to decide not to be stupid and jeopardize it. you think you know now but you unfortunately don’t until it happens, until your face begins to cave in on itself, until you’re told that you now “need” xyz procedures to support the cheeks you just sucked out etc etc it never ends it never fucking ends you will never be satisfied and you can’t ever undo it

i have this unfortunate insider knowledge of at least 4 different major invasive cosmetic procedures and i regret every single one. they ruined my life in every conceivable way (even though i was considered a major success patient) and one surgery literally almost killed me. i thought i was so damn smart and resilient until i realized i can’t ever go back.

the “doing it for myself” speech stops mattering real fuckin quick when you’re alone in your room looking in your mirror wondering how anyone could’ve let you do this. i am not an outlier. i am a common statistic. you are not immune. don’t let them have your face.

[punkeropercyjackson]

The very important distinction between afrolatino Jason vs female-coded Jason is that afrolatino Jason was come up with by black DC fans who sometimes see themselves in him on a very personal level but generally it's because he falls under so many black character aspects and irl black cultural aspects that we feel it makes way more sense for him to be black than for him to be white so to us,he just is and we design him as looking like a black man and explicitly write him as one too and the latino part is added on for reclamation from the racist gringos who popularized the just 'latino' Jason with no real heritage to him out of fetishization rather than out of love for latin people

And female-coded Jason is literally just.Gender essentialism with underlying transmisogyny by cis women and other tmes LMFAO because when a character who's intended as a cis man in canon is accidentally written like a woman instead,that's transfem-coding and i'm all for tgirl Jason even if i see Jason as transmasc agender within canon but unfortunately that's not what they mean because they think he's a binary man and actively ignore the canon Batfam girls and even the girls in Jason only Batfam lore to the point they refuse to even learn they exist!A side thing that gets me is that they don't even make Jason fem presenting which while dosen't universally equal female is at least closer to it than how masc he is canonically and they somehow make him even moreso but not in a positive and healthy masculinity way that is again a canon and important part of his character so it's just.A very bad faith take with very bad implications as opposed to afrolatino Jason,which is very VERY good faith take that beyond improves his character and is made out of nothing but love by black people and support from our allies

Anyway.........Go find Cassandra Cain,Barbara Gordon and Kate Kane reading lists and i can provide Stephanie Brown,Rose Wilson and Talia Al-Ghul ones if asked

[huntressofartemis001]

i need to talk about rose tyler

ok first of all i dont care if nobody sees this. i just need to vent

when i first started watching doctor who, i didnt think rose was pretty. i thought both her and nine's smile was way too big, kinda weird.

then in the second episode we met lady cassandra (aka a fucking trampoline) and she bragged about being the last 'pure' human and how pretty she was after going through 700-and-something surgeries.

i never liked the idea of people doing a ton of plastic surgeries to look "pretty". my fisrt thought when i see women who have gone through a lot of them (and by that i dont mean a botox every now and then, i mean these people who try to "fix" their faces through a ton of different procedures) is "weird". "that looks so artificial". its like they're barely human anymore, and while im not gonna judge people's personal decisions (do whatever you want!) i never find and i suppose i never will find it pretty.

so lady cassandra tells rose "you could do that too. you could change yourself, look pretty, thin, like me". at that point im going "noooo dont fall into that rose, i personally dont like your smile, your face, but i would never change a thing about you"

and i think i already had kinda accepted that rose would take cassandra's words and start being insecure about herself, about her body, because that's basically all we see in media. women, young women, hating their appearences and wanting so bad to change certain aspects of theirselves. i was feeling bad for rose, bc i didnt want her to be like that too, but in my mind this was the only way the scene could possibly go.

but rose tyler looks the trampoline in the eyes and say "i would rather die."

and cassandra bitches something about her chin or whatever, and how she could get rid of it, and rose laughs it off and says "i mean it. i would rather die."

that line stuck with me so much that i can quote it word for word without even looking it up. from that moment on, rose tyler was the prettiest woman onscreen whenever she appeared.

and she had the prettiest and most genuine smile.

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Happy 1,500, lovelies! 💋

1,500 followers?? 😲✨ As always I'm in awe and just so incredibly grateful for how many people follow and enjoy my cursed and (very) thirsty thoughts, drabbles, and fics on this blog! You're all amazing and I thank you so much for hanging with me! 😁 As a small thank you, please enjoy this tasty little reward (her mouth, as chosen by all of you 😏) from our favorite Countess 😌♥️

Warning for a shitposty beginning (sorry, but I had to 🤣)

***

You looked out across the vast crowd of people who had lined up behind you. A true testament to just how loved the Countess was (or wanted), and while you had your doubts about how true what the Fae that led you all there had said, your heart couldn't help but pound in anticipation. 

As soon as he Castle does swung open the crowd immediately quieted, a very perplexed Bela Dimitrescu standing before you. 

"Uh.." 

"Bela, who is it- .. what in the absolute fuck?" 

"Daniela, language." Came the Lady's voice from behind her. 

"Sorry, Mom.. but you're not gonna believe this!" 

This time Cass' head popped out from between her sisters.

"And here I thought I've seen everything..." She chuckled. 

"Really, darlings, what could possibly be so interesting-" 

The moment the Lady's large figure stepped into the door frame you could feel a collective blush move over the crowd - a few mouths falling agape. Lady Dimitrescu stood stunned for a minute before her fingers came to the bridge of her nose. 

"Oh for fuck's sake." 

You swallowed hard, instantly regretting your decision to believe the tricky little woodland creature. 

"MOM.. LANGUAGE." Exclaimed a very amused Daniela. 

"I'm sorry, little moth. It's just.. I knew I should have never made a deal with that Fae." 

"Deal with a.. fae?" 

The Lady sighed and turned to her eldest daughter. 

"I'm afraid the specifics at this point are unimportant. Bela, be a dear and clear my schedule for the remainder of the week." 

"Yes, Mother." 

Your heartbeat damn near accelerated when the Countess turned her attention to you next. "And Daniela, escort this one to my office. I'll be with them in a moment."  

"Aye-aye, Mother!" 

With Lady Dimitrescu no longer in ear shot, Cass let out another chuckle, walking side by side with her younger sister as the two of them led you to the Lady's office.

"Did you see the size of that crowd?"

"Yeah! Must be like… a thousand blood bags out there." Dani answered with a cackle. 

"Fifteen hundred to be exact." You said softly, making both women stop in their tracks and turn. 

"Fifteen- .. nope. You know what? I don't wanna know." Cass replied.

"Ha! Mom's sure got her work cut out for her!" 

"I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW." 

Daniela cackled even louder this time. 

"Welp, we're all gonna know by the end of the night. You know how sound travels in these corridors." 

You watched Cassandra slink a little lower and sigh. 

"I'm sleeping in the dungeons tonight." 

When the three of you finally reached the Countess' office Dani gave you a little wink and opened the door. The middle daughter scowled and gave you a firm nudge into the room. 

"Alright, let's get out of here. And let's have Bela make one of the maids bring the next one in." 

Daniela gave her sister a nod before closing the door behind you, leaving you to yourself. You took a deep breath, inhaling the lingering scent of the exact woman you came to see. Subtle notes of oak and cigarettes, with the slightest undertone of wine.

At least you hoped it was wine. 

The office itself held a large desk with a formidable looking chair, a fireplace made of mortar and a rather comfortable looking satin loveseat. Though, of course, you wouldn't dare sit on it. Not without the Lady's permission, that was. So you stood quietly by the crackling fire, allowing the firelight to dance warmly across your skin until you finally heard the heavy footsteps of the Countess. 

You swallowed hard, heart beating faster than it ever had in your entire life - pounding in your throat. 

Why had you wanted to go first again?? 

As soon as she entered the room, though, you were quickly reminded. Her large frame draped in nothing more than a sheer crimson robe, the soft fabric clinging deliciously to all of her curves. It was all you could do to stare, mouth open and cheeks a deep shade of pink. How were you.. what was she.. you could feel your brain on the brink of gay panic. 

"Breathe, dear. I'd prefer it if you didn't pass out until after I was finished with you." 

That.. she.. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, your heartbeat in your throat. 

"S-sorry, my lady. I just.. wasn't.. ah.. expecting.." 

You swallowed again, every inch of you burning with a desire that you have never quite felt before. 

"Mh.. were you expecting something a little more modest then?" 

You nodded. 

"Well..  I assume all of you came here for your reward, did you not?" 

"W-we did.. it's just.." 

You rubbed the back of your neck nervously. Words failing you at every attempt. How could she expect a comprehensive response looking like that?? The Countess merely chuckled before taking a seat at her desk, her legs crossing regally. 

"Flustered little thing, are we?" 

She smirked in a way that willed a deep heat across your body. Again, you only nodded. Though the strangled whimper in your throat surely told the large woman everything she needed to know. 

"Mhm.. as it was," she continued, "I'd rather not soil my dress in this process. While this, I can discard quickly at any time.. if needed."  

Your gaze couldn't help but to rake over the length of her, an act that immediately made you blush even harder. 

"Ah, yes.. that is… very logical reasoning, my lady." 

The Countess laughed softly, a slight shake to her head.

"You are rather adorable, I'll give you that." 

You weren't even sure what sort of sound had next escaped your throat but you felt like your whole body was due to burst into flames at any second. 

"Come here, pet. I can already smell how bad you want me." 

Gods, how the silky tones of her voice alone made your core clench around nothing. And you obeyed, of course - who wouldn't? - dutifully walking closer to where Lady Dimitrescu sat. 

Rays of golden hues shining in from the large window behind her basked her large frame in a warm glow as she leaned back, power radiating from the simple pose. Her chin lifted slightly and a single eyebrow raised, watching you with intent as you came to stand in front of her. 

"Undress." 

"Yes, my lady." 

In all your years of sexual encounters, you had never divulged yourself of your clothes so quickly - standing before the Countess wearing nothing but a deep flush. 

"Mmh.. absolutely exquisite." 

Her words were like a physical caress within themselves, with a predatory look in her eyes that only made the space between your legs grow wetter. The way she moved in closer, heat rolling off of her body as large hands came to grasp onto your hips, instantly making you gasp. You whimpered slightly as the sweet sting of her nails dug into your supple flesh.  

Before you even had a chance to ask for what you wanted - to make a plea of a prayer and beg her to ravage you - your body was lifted with ease and your back against the cool, hard wood of her desk. So fast it practically made your head spin. Legs spreading for her almost subconsciously. 

And even given her height - even as the Countess sat back down, her large frame could still easily lean over you, nostrils flaring as she breathed in your musk. The chilled castle air around you only making the arousal between your legs ever more prevalent. She traced a single finger up the slit of you before bringing your essence to her mouth - tongue swirling around the tip of it, licking off the taste of you and making you shiver. 

"Tell me, pet." She paused, wettening her lower lip. "If you had your choice, what would you choose as your reward?" 

Your gaze immediately moved to her mouth, watching as a slow smirk began to curl at the edges. 

"Mhm.. precisely as I thought." 

You squirmed at the feeling of her warm breath skating over your inner thighs, the raw desire that moved over you unhindered was incomparable to anything you'd ever experienced. How your body ached - core dripped - all from the mere proximity of her. 

"Please." You begged. 

It was that single word coated in nothing but want that made the Countess hum in satisfaction, reveling in just how badly you wanted her - in how wet she made you - all without barely even touching you. She moved slow, like a predator, calculating her every move. Her gaze never faltering - locked into yours as if to dare you to look away. Of course you didn't - how could you? Not with the way she looked at you. Not with how the burning embers between your legs drank you in just before her tongue did the same. 

And gods, how you moaned, releasing a chorus of pleasure into the air like someone who hadn't been touched in months… years. The small of your back lifted effortlessly off the desk and your hips held safely in the Countess' hands as she pulled you forward, lengthening her tongue as far into your core as it could go. 

The absolute strength of it - the control - filling you deliciously before it flexed inside you. 

"Mmph- .. f-fuck." 

Your fingernails doing their best to dig into the hard wood beneath you as she murmured a single word against your clit. 

"Language." 

The vibration alone was enough to make you want to curse again, but you feared that would only make the Lady stop, leaving you a needy, dripping mess on her desk. So for now you only bit your lip, muffling the words that threatened to break through as her tongue began a slow and steady pace into you. The tip of it hitting exactly where you needed it to and spurring a wave of pleasure across your body with each thrust. 

"You taste divine, pet. Absolutely delicious." 

You whimpered embarrassingly - both at her tongue stopping and at her praise. 

"My lady… please.. don't.. stop.. please." 

You even went as far as to buck your hips needily in her hands, an act that only made her grasp on them tighten, claw seeping ever so slightly into the flesh of them. 

"Now, now.. behave pet." 

A single nip at your inner thigh had you crying out, tears of need playing at the corners of your eyes. 

"Sorry.. Countess.. please.." 

You could barely breathe let alone speak- barely speak let alone breathe. Words forced out through hitched breaths. Through needed want. Your arousal practically dripping onto the Lady's desk as she kept you lifted. A most unholy sound ripping through your throat when she dragged the width of her tongue up the slit of you, sucking over your clit before driving it back in. And of course the Countess moved your hips in tandem - with large, muscular hands flexing to grind your core against herself. The sheer size of her mouth fully enveloping you. 

It was a warmth like no other - heated and wet and oh so divine. Her tongue claiming you with each thrust. With every swirl over your clit and the hungry moans the Lady made at your taste. You had never been indulged in in such a way, with her insatiable mouth devouring you and her nails in your skin. 

"Please.. so close…" 

The Countess took your queue, curling her tongue in a way so it slide delicious over your clit as she continued to drive it deeply into you. Sucking every so often until she felt her hips begin to jerk. The movement alone almost seemed to fuel her on. As she lifted you even higher and dug her nails deep into your skin, forcing drops of crimson to trickle down your outer thigh. Her tongue became ravenous, her eyes completely dilated as she looked up at you. A gaze you could only hold for a minute before your head was falling back in a scream. White hot ecstasy spilling over your body like a warm bath. Igniting everything in it's path and blurring out your vision. 

Every inch of you was taut with desire as the violent orgasm ripped through you. And the Lady drank in every last drop of you, drinking it in until you were a breathless mess in her hands. Panting as she lowered your body back down to her desk. The rich wood cool against the heat of your skin. 

"Mmh.. well, well.. aren't you a little treat." 

The sight of her catching her breath between your legs - through half lidded eyes - with your essence still shimmering all over her ivory skin. 

"You.. fuck." 

Lady Dimitrescu chuckled, rising to her full height and lit a cigarette. 

"Language, pet."

"S-sorry." 

You closed your eyes, not able to move a single muscle as you let the after bliss roll over you. Waves of warmth that could only make a person's toes curl. 

You felt a soft kiss to your forehead and her scent wash over you as the Lady made her way towards the door. 

"Take all the time you need to collect yourself, dear. I'll have one of my daughters bring you a glass of water."

"Mh.. thank you, my lady." 

"Think nothing of it." Alcina replied, a soft swish of her robe and the turn of a lock. "Oh, and be a dear and send the next one in on your way out, hm?"

***

♥️

[ctitan98official]

Anonymous: Do you have any hcs for going from pet to lover with the dimitrescu women?

I’ve got some! Let’s get into it!

Alcina:

Alcina originally viewed you as a pet. A simple thing for her to play with.

She tended to be fickle with pets and would throw them away to the dungeon when she grew tired of them.

You were different, though. You held her interest and even made her laugh. No pet has ever been able to do that before.

Alcina has completely changed your life. You can’t imagine how you would go on if she suddenly dropped you.

It isn’t until you confess your feelings for her, that she realizes just how much you mean to her.

She smiles and cups your cheek. “You know, you’re the only pet who has ever managed to make me fall for them.” She admits.

You grin so hard and place a searing kiss on her lips… Things might have gotten a bit steamier as the night went on.

Bela:

For Bela, she had been stubborn and lied to herself about how much she liked you for a while.

She had convinced herself that she only valued you so much because you were so loyal and helped her with her daily assignments.

After a bit of time though, Bela can’t help but to confess her feelings to you as you hold her one evening.

“Y/N… I have something I need to say.” She began. You tilt your head in confusion. “Yes, Lady Bela?” You ask.

Bela sighs and tries to calm her breathing. “You make me feel better. You make my days better. You comfort me when no one else can. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I love you.” She finishes softly.

“What a coincidence!” You joke. “I feel the exact same way.” You say and kiss her. Bela was beet red for the rest of the night.

Cassandra:

Cass was demanding. She expected a lot out of you and rarely let you get by with any infractions. However, she does tend to bend her rules more with you than any other pet she has ever had.

You love to see her get flustered and frazzled by your teasing. It makes you feel like you have special privileges with her that no one else has.

While nobody outside of the two of you knows this, Cass always wants to be held by you. It makes her feel loved and appreciated.

Something about how you whisper reassurances in her ear and hold her tight makes her feel a sense of calm that is difficult for her to achieve on her own.

Eventually, you cave and tell Cass how much you love her.

Cass tries to play aloof at first. “Hmm… I don’t blame you, pet. I am pretty irresistible.” She teases. But her act quickly slips and she can’t help but to place dozens of kisses on your face. You like this affectionate side of Cass.

Dani:

Dani did keep you as a pet, but to be honest, you were always more of a lover.

She never made you do anything you were uncomfortable with and always made sure to ask your opinion before making decisions.

Dani is so physically affectionate, that it can be difficult to distinguish if she is simply basking in your presence or trying to be romantic. You don’t mind, though.

When you confess your feelings to Dani, she weeps. Very noisily. She is just so happy that you feel the same.

Her life would definitely be a lot less rich without you in it.

“Baby, I never want to let you go.” She says and wraps you in a hug.

You kiss her forehead and chuckle. “I hope you don’t mean that literally. I’ve gotta pee.” You joke.

Dani softly pops you on the shoulder, but giggles at you and kisses you on the lips.

Masterlist

[annonniiiiieeeee]

What is your sexuality headcanons for not just the mad dogs ,but the tenshu crew+ mona lisa (sorry if you answered this before)

And speaking of Mona why do I feel like the line

"A monster,is that what you think you are? Is going to come back?

Oh goodness. I’m still feeling some of these out.

Leo is gay.

Raph is the straight out of the group. The most supportive straight there is.

Mikey and Donnie are the two I am still feeling out. I know a lot of people see them as single or as ace/aro. I’m still figuring them out. I’m leaning that way for Mikey. Donnie is someone who loves so deeply and it’s hard for him to express those emotions. I’d love to explore him more and see where he ends naturally rather then slapping a label on it and then trying to make that work.

April and Sunita are lesbian

Cassandra I know a lot of people see her as a lesbian but I can see her as pansexual but with a preference for women.

Casey. I have kinda logged Casey in my brain as baby so I have not even thought about a future pairing or relationship for the boy. I also don’t think he had a lot of time to figure this stuff out in the apocalypse. We will put him under questioning for now.

Usagi is bisexual but has a preference for men.

Gen is aromatic. He might have future partners but it’s more just one night and moving on. He’s glad his siblings are falling in love and eventually having families, it’s not for him. He loves being the fun uncle.

Kitsune is bisexual with a preference for girls.

Chizu (I know I rarely talk about her) is a Demisexual lesbian.

Lisa is pansexual.

(NOTE: if you see them as something different that’s totally cool. Outside of the main pairings most of this won’t come up so if you want to just graft your beliefs on to them, that’s fine by me.)

And I just realized I missed the best part of this ask. The monster line.

No why would that ever come back. It’s not like she’s going to be horrifically mutated and have to deal with the change of her appearance and have to relearn how to love herself. It’s not like Raph’s going to bring this line back to remind her she’s not a monster. It’s not going to be a backbone of their relationship I promise.

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

This is nearly ten years late to the party, but even as an “all people are bisexual until proven otherwise” truther, I don’t care that Cassandra Pentaghast is canonically straight, because tbh I think straight women should be allowed to operate and look as she does and not be automatically assumed to be sapphic. To me it kind of falls into this trap of “you behave and look like this, so you MUST be queer, right? Because only queer people would ever fuck with gender expectations like this”.

But this is a fantasy world where queerness is not seen as odd, so really the only things that Cassandra is perhaps eschewing are perhaps the more feminine expectations of a noble house, but even then she comes from a house that was full of dragon slayers, so already she’s not cut from the same cloth as some pretty lady from Val Royeaux.

Idk it just feels really reductive to me. I continue to be ??? when I see DA fans complain that Cassandra should’ve been romanceable by female characters BECAUSE she looks and acts like she does, as if that means anything. It is “Astarion should be gay because well look at him” but for a female character nearly a decade ago. This is probably one of the only characters that I hesitate to make Bi or Gay because, well, there isn’t that much rep of competent strong het women being het women in ‘bulwark’/‘tank’ roles.

I feel like while queer rep has increased dramatically, cishet rep of women that are specifically like Cassandra has been folded up into queer rep. I understand intersectionality, but there is a subtle difference in being a cishet woman in such a role compared to being a queer woman in such a role to the media landscape at large, i.e. ‘Cishet = Acceptable, Woman = unacceptable; queer = unacceptable, woman = unacceptable”.

One could argue it’s a dead end to want to preserve characters like Cassandra as cishet, but fact of the matter is is that there are masculine women who do only like men but face pressure to trim those aspects of themselves for fear of seeming queer or just generally unattractive by men. You could also make the argument that wueer acceptance will trickle down into more acceptance of variations in gender presentation by cishet people, but this far the results have been mixed on both the cishet and queer side. I don’t miss the lamentations of sapphics who are “fooled” into believing a cishet woman is also sapphic because she wears her hair a certain way or carries herself with a certain masculine swagger that is found more often on the butch spectrum.

I dunno, I feel like keeping Cassandra cishet is a milestone in of itself in representation because it shows how, as a cis woman, your sexuality and gender expression are not 1:1. Personality and behavior are not intrinsically tied to sexuality, and vice versa. And conversely, it also quietly implies that you don’t need to be breaking gender conventions just because you’re lgbt. You don’t need to be actively making every breath and movement a political statement when your very existence is enough.

[illithilit]

I have a metric fuckton of quiz results in my drafts and I want them out. So this is my solution to not wanting to spam the dash

Tagged by: @dracourge ; @mindfoster ; @loomsred

Mourndax

Love feels like.... Fear

the tap of a nervous foot against the floor. those butterflies in the pit of your stomach. a dry throat. heavy limbs. you want them so badly that it hurts, but fear keeps you frozen to the floor; what ifs and hypotheticals run rampant through your head. it's a chain around your neck, love, and it's your choice to let it choke you or break it.

How do you view love? Violent

harsh words and cold glares. painful in the way that your heart burns but can never seem to seek for something better. it is the way you would walk through glass to see a smile, or claw at your own arms just to satisfy another, give and never take for the guilt that comes with wanting is suffocating. emotionally draining and a forever ache that you can't escape.

What kind of love are you? Love as a flaw.

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Cassandra.

you are cassandra from the trojan women by euripides and agamemnon by aeschylus. people have tried to silence you one too many times, but you are resilient. your own dignity and agency have always come first, but at a great cost. you know yourself and your inner strength, but that won't ever stop you from feeling completely alone in the world. sometimes simply enduring the pain won't be enough, no matter how hard you want it to be. above all, you must never lose your unwavering hope in mankind, even as the world forsakes you. it is what keeps you human.

Let me assign you an affection language. A knife called grief.

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

What colour does your love feel like? Deep staining crimson.

Ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. Your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. It's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. It rips out of you, clawing it's way up your throat more so than tumbling out. Sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. Your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. And you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. Atlas holding up the world, how are you? Is your love still flowing? Is your heart still open? Still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears? Still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink? Because I see them, I read them, I love them and you, you, you, you. Clench your chest, scream your love, cry it out. Spill your words of loving, keep your heart beating, keep your love coming and paint the entire world red with it. Make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. Maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

What kind of hot are you? Rockstar hot.

you're wanted. by crowds of people. a heart-throb, who people hang posters of in their room and tell their friends is "so dreamy." you may not even be a celebrity, you could just be the star of your school. but what you and rockstars have in common is that your entire routine is very well-rehearsed, and you know exactly the right words, the right looks, to draw people's attention. you're a performance, you're an act, a hyperbolized version of a human being that others can get lost in. it's so easy for people to crush on you because they don't realize they don't know anything about you. you're an archetype, a character for others to project onto, and damn if it isn't a fun role to play.

What flavor is your soul? Salt.

ah little kraken, bold are you. restless sailor, dauntless fighter, lower your sword, let me see your shield. ah, of course, they are but the same object. oh wave-tossed ruffian, lend me some of your mettle would you? you have been struck by the sharpest of spears yet you still stand here proudly. but off your guard, elsewhere of the battlefield, you will find your spirit can parch others. your words are but weapons crafted from your soul. little lion, sheathe your claws, or the ones you love the most will suffer. you do not have to be strong all the time love, there's nothing wrong with being soft. vulnerability is not weakness, and if it were, what's wrong with that? strength is not always your greatest tool, your heart is good. put down excalibur, and use your words. you'll find they will carry you much farther. not everything in life is a battle.

How do you need to be touched? Cautiously.

your teeth are bared, as they have been, your jaw aching for so long as growls slip free. you always have to defend yourself. you lash out in fear. you need someone who does not shrink back... a hand falling slowly to your shoulder, however briefly, in a reminder that you do not have to lunge. there is no danger here, now.

What colour are you coded as? Pink coded.

pink, the color of femininity, believing in yourself, and embracing the side of you that you used to reject. you aren't someone who likes to hide, but you do all the time. you don't like yourself nearly as much as you may present, one way or another. you think of yourself as a hollow castaway of someone's little matryoshka doll, or worse, something broken and thrown away. you want to believe that there's more to life, to you, than this broken frame of something you have long forgotten the name of... but what are you supposed to do, after all this time?

Grazilaxx

Love feels like.... Everything

nothing matters but this. not you. not them. this moment, this love that you've built, that is what matters. it is all that there is. you will do anything to keep it this way; no matter what line you have to cross, who you have to step over. the ends justify the means, after all; and for you, this is everything. they are everything.

How do you view love? Isolating.

intense, silent, overwhelming. you have so much to give but it is too much to share. nobody every reciprocates the way you do. makes you feel alien, unwanted. so you keep it and and watch others, hoping one day that could be you too.

What kind of love are you? Love as a religion.

Devotion, that is the name of your love. Your love is an act of worship. Your love is like witnessing the birth of Venus, like seeing the sun come alive, or the stars fall. When you love, it is because you have found God in a lover. You have found the meaning of life itself in the heart of the one you adore. They are everything to you; they are your Maker, and you are their lamb, their flock, their first and holiest worshipper. When you fall in love, it is as a baptism. You are born anew, made a believer in the divinity of the one you love most. Being loved by you is an ascension; it is holy and golden. It is all-consuming, and all-faithful, loyal as the dog. You will never, ever bite back.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Medea.

you are medea from from the argonautica by apollonius and medea by euripides. you are ambitious, ruthless, and unforgiving in getting what you want, and unapologetic in your self-preservation. the truth is, you have let your romantic ideals get the better of you before, and time and time again you have had to relearn how to build up those walls and thorns that guard it. the only person who can protect you is yourself, and you have learned that the hard way. sometimes stoking that fire of hate and anger in your heart hurts more than whatever you're fighting against.

Let me assign you an affection language. A story that ends in blood.

The world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. You don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. They are yours. You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. Because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends.

What colour does your love feel like? Warm burnt orange.

Riding off into the sunset, the hope of a happy ending, the bitter after taste that still in it's own way smells kinda great. Your love is all bitter hopefulness, all about a broken heart that refuses to quit, all about the unshakable knowledge that a burning fire has a great comforting warm and a soft glowing light, all about the way when the sun comes down there's a beautiful starry night. It's stubbornness, it's the refusal to give up, the clutching of broken shards despite the searing pain and being adamant that dammit you can still make a beautiful stained glass window out of it. Yours is a screaming heart, a pleading love, a bitter and almost belligerent hopefulness that things will still work out even if you have to roll up your sleeves and make them. And god, aren't you tired? Isn't your heart heavy? Is all your hard work worth it? Don't you just want to curl up and let it be? Let the fire turn to ashes and the sky turn dark and let love die down and watch people leave? But you don't, do you? You're the bravest out of all of us, so you pick up the pieces and you keep going, you keep believing and you keep your heart full of hope because some day. Some day you know you'll get it. You keep riding off into the sunset and you keep filling my heart with hope as you go because god, how do I wish you finally get it too.

What kind of hot are you? Math tutor hot.

you're really not here for romance, at all. but whenever you actually interact with people, they're smitten with you. you might be usually overlooked, but for some reason whenever you're helping a peer who likely wasn't responsible enough to study like you told them to before the session, they're always paying rapt attention. you roll your eyes and lecture them whenever they seem distracted, staring at you or the floor instead of the textbook. but it's the moments where you raise an eyebrow, half impressed, and give them a quiet "good work" that makes you such a successful tutor. your praise is hard to come by, and people are certainly going to work to hear it again.

What flavor is your soul? Lavendar.

oh moon child, restless sleeper, tell me what it's like to dream? you float along the margins of reality, picking up the pieces of fallen memories to sculpt into your own realm. you are searching, but your tongue is quiet, quiet, quiet. open your mouth and sing my dear, silence only does you good for so long. and here you planted roots in the darkness, where not even the moon can reach your leaves. there is such a thing as being too practical, for you sail your ship on perpetually calm waters, and never have you spotted land. your mind has wings, uncage them! allow yourself to dream, you are not too far gone. there is no such thing! trust in yourself dear.

How do you need to be touched? Gently.

you need to be held as though you're going to break. you need someone to trace your scars like cracks in a wall, crumbling. their touch is almost painful; you've been without it for too long, without someone to hold you. but, you cannot bring yourself to pull away.

What colour are you coded as? Blue coded.

blue, a study in wisdom, belief, and knowing when enough is enough. you know yourself best, but you know the way the world works even more. you've been wandering in this world a little too long, and maybe that's the problem. you're a wanderer, a vagabond, an oracle, and a prophet all the same. who are you when the curtain call drops the last encore on you? do you dance behind the scenes for a job well done or are you already planning your next show? take a breather, for a moment. enjoy what you've done, enjoy what you have, enjoy the world that you've been wandering for so long. this world is so much better when you realize that some of it is worth living for.

Blurg

How do you view love? Soft.

love that is welcoming, one that encompasses you in its warmth. the feeling of a warm mug after a cold day. familiar huffs of laughter respond in the air as you lean on each other for balance. the feeling of falling on a soft bed of clouds on a nice sunny day. of waves lapping at sand on a beach

What kind of love are you? Love as a threshold.

Your love does not ask for much. Your love does not take. Your love is free, and unquestioned, and here for wherever needs it. When you fall in love, it is as gentle as a breath in the night. It is quiet, and it is effortless. It is tender. If your love was a house, it would readily welcome all who come through. If your love was a hearth, it would warm the hands of whoever stopped by, whether for a day, a month, a year, or forever. When you fall for someone, it is without strings, without conditions, without need. You love for the sake of loving, for the sake of caring for those who need it. You love with a giver’s heart and a giver’s hands and are made so much stronger for it. Being loved by you is to always feel at home. Your love may not always be well-received by those unprepared to linger, but it is unforgettable all the same.

What tragic character from Ancient Greek literature are you? Patroclus.

you are patroclus, from the iliad by homer, doomed by fate to be stuck in a love story that has no place on the battlefield. although you always have the best intentions, you have to realize you cannot save everyone. your unwavering loyalty means you often lose yourself in the process of putting others first. take a deep breath, remember who you are, and that you are deserving of the same love you try to put out. you are kind, you are strong, and you give and you give but it is never enough to protect those you love. in the end, it's not even enough to protect yourself.

What colour does your love feel like? Bright sunny yellow.

Sweet tasting popsicles, summer dresses and shielding your eyes from the sun. Your love is the excitement of something brewing, something growing. It's the almost childish bubbling giggles of something new, but with the potential to stay. It's wide smiles, blinding sunny light and warm bodies that gravitate to one another. It's the the softness, the willingness, the slight holding of breaths in a crucial "what if" moment. It's the impatience too. The bouncing on tiptoes to see further than your eyes can reach, the holding out for a future that never seems to come even though you're ready, you're so so so ready. It's the constant feeling of warm sand beneath your feet, holding out for the crashing waves. And still you wait, dry and impatient and with burnt soles of feet. Your love is sour candy, enjoying it as your nose scrunches up from the aftertaste of it. It's hands that grab and take hold, that reach and ask them to stay and hope and beg and wait. It's bubbling excitement sure, but it's also demanding, focused, driven. It's love like a plan, with a path and route and a clear destination. And you bonce on your tiptoes, and burning, waiting for the soothing water, the crashing waves, you hold onto the melting popsicle, you wait and wait and wait. It's tiring almost as much as it's lazer focused ambition, deeply rooted desire and the unrelenting hope that it will work, that it will come. And it does, I promise it does. The waves crash, the beach floods and the pain passes, the water cool and soothing and you can let yourself fall in, sinking, sinking. And it's good, it's perfect, what you were hoping and more, holding and embracing you and welcoming you into the stillness you always knew you were reaching for.

What kind of hot are you? Bob the builder hot.

i am not saying bob the builder is hot, im just saying you have the hotness of a handyman. you're humble, down to earth, and exist with an easy confidence that takes peoples breath away. you always seem to know exactly what you are doing. you may still be stuck in your hometown, but you have quite the reputation. you do get a lot of business, after all. people around here sure tend to break things an awful lot, and they always call you, listening through the phone reciever with a light blush and bated breath, for your inevitable "I'll help you."

What flavor is your soul? Rosemary.

ah, the old soul, nice to meet again. the time of ages is etched into your bones, you see clearly. you've watched the heartache in this realm and sworn to solve it. but kindness without limits is self destruction. oh little leaf, strong and wise, you seek to bring peace with your presence. I'd be wrong to say you fail at this effort, but you mustn't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. you wish to please everyone, to protect them all. but if you shield the saplings from the sunlight they will never grow, and you one day will wither. protect yourself too. you know there are no happy heroes, so don't be one. be a friend. your loved ones will not forsake you for not being perseus slaying all their demons. you have your own monsters, why not meet them first before you conquer anyone else's nightmares. oh true-hearted paladin you are brave, and you are good enough. you know that right? be true to yourself, one cannot do anything saintly if they did not tend to their own wounds first.

How do you need to be touched? Fervently.

you crave a hug that cracks your ribs... the feeling of your wandering soul being crushed back into the bones that can't seem to hold it. you need a hand gripping yours so tightly you almost fear it may leave a bruise, a reminder that you are here. and that you are not alone.

What colour are you coded as? Yellow coded.

yellow, a study in wildfires, honeycombs, and summer rain. everyone sees you smiling and laughing, happy in all the ways but the way that you know is true to you. everyone believes that nothing bad could happen to you, that you live life so freely that you'd never miss a beat, even if something bad DID happen to happen around or to you. but you're as miserable as the rest of them. you might be warm and gentle, when you need to be, but at the end of the day, you have long since accepted that fire is like you: best to be admired but never touched.

Orianna

Love feels like.... Lightning

you feel like you're on top of the world. like you've been struck by lightning -- you hope that they feel the same. it's all electricity, those metaphorical sparks; all adrenaline and the rush you get when you're near them. they're magnetic, they have some sort of pull over you, and you live off of the high they give you. watch it; lightning never strikes the same place twice.

What kind of love are you? Love as a performance.

Your love is a masquerade, a dance, a work of art. You love with a veil across your face, unable to allow anyone to see the real you. Can that be considered love, you wonder? As a performer, you have all your lines prepared, and you know exactly what to say and when to say it. You’re charismatic and bold, seductive and hypnotic. Your love is a snake’s melody, the siren song of the sea. Your love is enchanting. Your love is melodic. Your love is afraid and fearful and longing. You ache to tear the veil off, you ache to cast poetry aside for the sake of something real and gritty. You’re terrified of the very thought. Being loved by you is to be loved by an artist; it is to be a muse. It reflects others beautifully, but never, ever yourself. Not really. Not truly.

Let me assign you an affection language. Violent devotion.

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

What colour does your love feel like? Cold stark gold.

Fireworks, borrowed lighters and sparklers against a dark backdrop, yours is a love that burns stark and bright. It's scary though, like things that burn always tend to be, but for you it isn't the thrill of the open flames that gives pause and a slight stomach drop of terror, but rather the time when the flames go out, the sparkler ends and the night is cold and dark once again. Fireworks, borrowed lighters, a striken match, your love burns bright and fast and then maybe it passes, maybe the feeling dies out and you're left in the cold once again. And that's the feeling isn't it? Of being bored and waiting for someone to light you up again? To be fair, you do know you don't need it, but then again we don't often crave the things we need. And you crave and yearn and burn in the wait, restless in the knowledge that at some point someone will pass and rub you the right way, that some day you'll light up the night sky bright yet again. There's comfort in the darkness and solace in the predictable loneliness of the in between, but your heart still squirms inside you, waiting and willing and begging to burn up again. Your love might not be comfort, it's not one for the sick days, but then again, there's a reason why everyone waits for the shining lights in the sky during holidays.

What kind of hot are you? Pink panther hot.

you're a modern queen. you sit to the side of the dance floor and drink out of martini glasses, a perfect vantage point to look over your court. you like to see the way people's eyes linger on you, hoping you'll see them, that they'll gain your approval. you are offered drinks by many overeager servants throughout the night. when you finally join the ball, the sea of people parts just for you, and you hear the nervous titters of the crowd who are so captivated by what you'll do next.

What flavor is your soul? Honey.

"sugared mel e lingua serpentis." sugared honey from a serpent's tongue. oh dearest, look how you gleam. how the sunlight dances off your shoulders, how the heavens shine across your wingtips. but you are hollow, hollow, hollow. even the taste of nectar can choke a man. sometimes the sweetest flowers hide the sharpest poison. you lie to yourself, the worst lie of all. you needn't be so obsessed with perfect. the greatest beauty lies in our faults. do you think the moon apologizes for their mara? no, their craters add to their glow. my dear, breathe. you are not an island, breathe, before the honey drowns you. you wish to be lovely, you long to be loved. but did aphrodite trade her powers for perfection? she did not. you can be beautiful, and also whole. be whole above anything else dear. a heart of diamonds is worth nothing if inchor oozes from it. inward. look within and question how well do you know yourself? little petal are you trying to be a god? why? can a god bloom from sullen soil? no. you are whole as you are.

[rphelperblog]

Clockwork Princess Book Quote RP Meme: Part One

finale book in the TID series by Cassandra Clare- Feel free to edit or change pronouns

“Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read.”

“You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is all.”

I am no hero."

“Life was an uncertain thing.” “

“I screamed a great deal.”

“We see our better selves in the eyes of those who love us.” 

You are a person, just like me."

“If there is a life after this one,let me meet you in it,”

'Dying a little faster for love. And there are worse things to die for.” 

“Every heart has its own melody. You know mine.” 

“I take your hand, brother, so that you may go in peace.” 

“you really didn’t have to throw that man through the window.” 

“Men may be stronger, but it is women who endure.” 

“There is more to living than not dying.” 

“No one can say that death found in me a willing comrade, or that I went easily.” 

“Life was an uncertain thing, and there were some moments one wished to remember, to imprint upon one's mind that the memory might be taken out later, like a flower pressed between the pages of a book, and admired and recollected anew. “

“I don't suppose it would help if I told you that is the way life is. The good suffer, the evil flourish, and all that is mortal passes away.” 

"Lack of certification hardly proves intelligence," 

We are bound, you and I, over the divide of death, down through whatever generations may come. Forever.”

“I'm afraid to answer that. I've heard that when I speak, it makes American women wish to strike me with umbrellas.” 

“It has been the privilege and the honor of my life to know you.” 

“I am catastrophically in love with you.”

“Do not seek revenge and call it justice.” 

“There are so many worse things than death. Not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse.” 

“The world is a wheel, when we rise or fall, we do it together.”

“since you say there will be another life for me, let us both pray I do not make as colossal a mess of it as I have this one.”

“Requited love is nice, but it doesn’t make much of a ballad.” 

“Some secrets, she thought, were better told; some were better left the burden of the carrier, that they might not cause pain to others.” 

In all the world, you are what I love the most.”  

“You don’t think I can fight,because I’m a girl.”

“Our hearts, they need a mirror. We see our better selves in the eyes of those who love us.” 

"I am not alone, Wherever we are, we are as one.” 

“What are you doing following me around the back streets of London, you little idiot?”

"I have that effect on women,"

"I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress.For what it's worth, I don't think he could fight in that dress either."

“Sometimes one must choose whether to be kind or honorable. Sometimes, you cannot be both." “You made me want more than that. You showed me I was only ever cursed because I had chosen to believe myself so. You told me there was possibility, meaning. And now you would turn your back on what you created.” 

"Are those scones under your bed?” 

“Did you think I walked into my friendship with you with my eyes shut? I did not know the nature of the burden you carried. But I knew there was a burden.” 

Find her,and tell her that I loved her always. My blessings, for all that it is worth, is on you both.” 

“We are not our parents. We do not have to carry the burden of their choices or their sins.” 

“Those of us who do not live forever do not like change perhaps as much as those of you who do.” 

“Most people are lucky to have even one great love in their life. You have found two.” 

And now I need you to do for me what I cannot do for myself. For you to be my eyes when I do not have them. For you to be my hands when I cannot use my own. For you to be my hearr when mine is done with beating.”

“When I am in the darkness, I want to think of it in the light, with you. “

“I feel like you can look inside me and see all the places I am odd or unusual and fit your heart around them, for you are odd and unusual in just the same way. We are the same.” 

“Love him, do you?

“Every meeting led to a parting, and so it would, as long as life was mortal. In every meeting there was some of the sorrow of parting, but in everything parting there was some of the joy of meeting as well.” 

I love all of them. Every word you say. The silly ones, the mad ones, the beautiful ones, and the ones that are only for me. I love them, and I love you.” 

“What I do know is that if we are born again, I will meet you in another life, and if there is a river, you will wait on the shores for me to come to you, so that we can cross together.” 

“I need to know you believe me when I say I love you. That is all.

“Choosing love or war: both are brave choices, in their own ways.” 

"Stay with me. Be with me. See everything with me. I have traveled the world and seen so much, but there is so much more, and no one I would rather see it with than you. I would go everywhere and anywhere with you”

“Has no one respect for the classics these days?” 

“Hope is not an illusion.” 

“To lose an arm or a leg would be painful, but to lose the central truth of your life felt—fatal.” 

be whatever you wish to call yourself, but marry me and stay with me and never leave me, for I cannot bear another day of my life to go by that does not have you in it.” 

“I always know what you will do. I should have known you would put your hands into the fire.”

“Wo men shi jie bai xiong di-we are more than brothers, “

“You know that feeling,when you are reading a book, and you know that it is going to be a tragedy; you can feel the cold and darkness coming, see the net drawing tight around the characters who live and breathe on the pages. But you are tied to the story as if being dragged behind a carriage and you cannot let go or turn the course aside.” 

“And now I need you to do for me what I cannot do for myself. For you to be my eyes when I do not have them. For you to be my hands when I cannot use my own. For you to be my heart when mine is done beating.” 

"It's not a duck, is it?” 

“For this I would be damned forever. For this I would have given up everything.” 

“It was—it was a madly noble thing to do. I understand why you did it.”

“Madly noble. Isn’t that meant to be your area of expertise? Suddenly I am the one who does ridiculous things and you tell me to stop?”

He said that perhaps, since you had touched the soul of an angel, that you dream of Heaven now, of fields of angels and flowers of fire. Perhaps you are happy in those dreams. But I ask this out of pure selfishness. Come back to me. For I cannot bear to lose all my heart.” 

“One does not question miracles, or complain that they are not constructed perfectly to one's liking.” 

“You may be right. I think it was round about Christmas when I got my Welsh dragon tattoo.”

“On the contrary—in order to learn how to pretend to be inebriated, once must become inebriated at least once, as a reference point. Six-Fingered Nigel had been at the mulled cider—“ 

"For this I would have been damned forever. For this I would have given up everything."

“Those of you who are mortal, you burn so fiercely. And you fiercer than most. I will not ever forget you.” 

“Haven’t you ever heard of pornographic gibberish before?” 

"You would make a very ugly woman."

“Eventually I fell asleep in the Rabies and Lycanthropy section. the werewolf bites on occasion, and I'm concerned.' 

You cannot go where I am going! Nor would I want that for you!” 

“Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee - for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.” 

Have you ever thought of ways to prolong your life that are not a cure for the drug?”

“I think when we make choices—for each choice is individual of the choices we have made before—we must examine not only our reasons for making them but what result they will have, and whether good people will be hurt by our decisions.” 

[mintharan]

God, I so agree with you about playersexual characters. That’s not even mentioning that usually when romanceable characters have specific sexualities, the most plot relevant characters are straight. You don’t have to look farther than the dragon age games to see examples of this (Alistair and Morrigan, Solas and Cassandra). And people talk up DAI like it’s the gold standard of representation when the lesbian character has so little content that she could be completely removed from the game with no consequences to the overall plot. They did a good job with Dorian and no one will look past that to see that the options for women feel pretty halfhearted. Anyway, it’s way more important to me from a representation standpoint that plot-relevant content isn’t locked behind having to play as a certain gender than it is for romanceable characters to have defined sexual orientations. I play on a console so I can’t install mods, and the options that I have in BG3 or even DA2 make the experience way more satisfying than games where I have to play as a man just to see the better developed, more plot-relevant romances. Sorry for the novel but I have a lot of feelings about this and get so frustrated seeing all the most popular takes.

Yeah ultimately this is my take as well! I actually like Sera better than Dorian tho! I think he's a good character despite the large part of his narrative that revolves around homophobia, which isn't to say that homophobia doesn't have a place in fantasy, it does! It can be done so well and in such a threatening way and as something that the characters have to overcome or that makes their romance even more meaningful.

But that's not what happens with Dorian, he has a homophobic dad, in a country where homophobia is kinda sorta common among the upper class of what is largely a slaver society, aaaand he's away from all that in a nation where nothing of that happens. So the major 'conflict' of his personal quest falls flat. There are no stakes, he's not in Tevinter, so none of the homophobia really matters. I just included him in the list of good gay characters because he's brought up by so many other people. I do think he's a great character, actually, I just think the way the game handled his sexuality was super silly.

I only romance female characters with female pcs and likewise for male characters, so yeah I agree with you that it's insulting when you realize that right I paid for this game and can't really get more than one playthrough, maybe 2 out of it and with a narrative experience that is much lower in quality.

It's frustrating as a gay person to be forced to play a straight romance, which is why the playersexual model (where characters still have romantic and sexual interests outside of the player) is the best way to do it. Because the alternative is that gay people get fucked and I absolutely hated the argument I saw on twitter that it's 'more realistic to real life experiences' which is so fucking condescending.

In real life I'm married to a woman and all our friends are dykes, fags and trannies, so by that logic in the game I'll develop in the future all companions will be gay, a good many will be gay and trans, but there's going to be a single cis het person whose narrative revolves around how horny I don't know, reproduction, makes them, in order to be the most realistic to 'real life experiences'. I expect that cishet people will be part of my game's playerbase and be fine with this and pay full price for this fantastic gaming experience.

[greer-morgan]

Task004. Playlist

Cassandra - Florence + The Machine

Well, can you see me? I cannot see you Everything I thought I knew is falling out of view And if I run fast enough, could I break apart As empires crumble and cathedrals flatten in my heart?

Heading South - Zach Bryan

Then he surely came to learn people come to watch you fall But he's out to make a name and a fool out of 'em all They'll never understand that boy and his kind All they comprehend is a fucking dollar sign

The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie - Colter Wall

I met a man out in the sticks of Good Ol' Miss He drove a series 10 Cadillac and wore a cigar on his lips Don't you know the devil wears a suit and tie

Wildflowers - Trampled by Turtles

You belong among the wildflowers You belong in a boat out at sea Sail away, kill off the hours You belong somewhere you feel free

Revival - Zach Bryan

We're having an all night revival Someone call the women and someone steal the bibles For the sake of my survival Baptize me in a bottle of Beam and put Johnny on the vinyl

Dog Eat Dog - Tommy Lefroy

It's somatic, just a force of habit All these Herculean reasons I won't sleep until I'm Fed and I'm full and the market's a bull And the men that I'm after Call me the master

Rattlesnake - Jack Van Cleaf

Mmm, out of town and two clicks past I found a western diamondback It blocked my self destructive pact I laugh, it shakes its tail

Says "If you hurt all of your friends And disappear around the bend You bet you'll come right back again And try to love though you may fail"

Whiskey & Cigarettes - Chance Peña

A couple whiskeys and cigarettes I've got a few things to get up off my chest I've been knee deep in my regrets, I'm missing home And if I go back I might not like Where my head's at every night

American Spirit - Drumming Bird

I believed in a master plan, the natural good in man Eventually shows its hand and takes home the pot But I'm holding my hopes within, get fooled once get fooled again You're bleeding American for something it's not

Eat Your Young - Hozier

Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

[books-i-finished-reading]

(21)

Chain of Iron - Cassandra Clare

( The last hours - book 2/3 )

27th February 2023

"... it's usually either terribly delightful or delightfully terrible,"

"..., 'He's indeed very dashing, but you must not forget your own heroism.'..."

"This is part of being a husband," said Will... "Might I give you a bit of marital advice?" "Would wild horses be able to stop you?" said James. ... "That depends," said Will. "Do you currently have access to any wild horses?" James had to smile. "Not at the moment." "Then no," said Will. "So here it is: always tell Cordelia what you feel." He looked James in the eye. "You may fear what will happen if you speak your heart. You may wish to hide things because you fear hurting others. But secrets have a way of eating at relationships, Jamie. At love, at friendship-they undermine and destroy them until in the end you find you are bitterly alone with the secrets you kept."

"Well, you know what they say," said James. "All the best men are either married or Silent Brothers."

... Magnus Bane levels of magnificent,...

... just as it was torment to love, it might be a torment to be loved.

"... the question is never whether you know Magnus Bane. The question is always whether Magnus Bane knows you."

It felt such a relief, not to be facing it all alone.

All one had to do was pretend,... and everyone else would fall into line pretending along with you.

"So much of managing in society is keeping one's chin up,"... "And disregarding the ignorant things people say."

"... Love is a prison, and I have no desire for shackles. They would clash with my outfit."

Tessa was smiling up at Will as she tucked her hands into fur - lined gloves; he bent to brush her hair from her forehead. James cleared his throat loudly. Cordelia glanced up at him. " Otherwise they'd start kissing," he said matter - of - factly. Believe me, I know."

The skinny footman.... "Demon!" he shouted hoarsely. "Demon!" ... Will was looking at Tessa, his blue eyes wide. "Can I ?" Tessa smiled indulgently, as if Will had asked for a second helping of cake. "Oh, go ahead." Will made a whooping sound... he leaped down the stairs and raced off, chasing the wheel - demon. James and Tessa were both smiling. ... James grinned. "No. That demon and my father are old friends. Or rather, old enemies, but it amounts to the same thing. It likes to chase him around after parties." ... As they rolled off into the night, they passed Will, brandishing a seraph blade as he happily chased the wheel - demon through the Wentworths' rose garden.

...given the limits placed on women by the world, they often had no choice but to seek assistance from men.

"... When you give people your heart, you deliver them the opportunity to hurt you,..."

...even in a crowd, you might be alone.

" love is complicated," ... "... it lies beside anger and hatred, because only those we truly love can truly disappoint us."

"... plagued with dark thoughts."

... starved to death among the plenty.

"... Hope is a prison, truth the key that unlocks it."

"Just wound me, then," James said to Cordelia. "Stab me in the leg if you need to. The left one, if you can-I'm fonder of my right."

"We are special, unusual, unique people. That means that we must be bold and proud, but also careful. Don't think you have so much to prove that it makes you foolish..."

"Because I was following him," Alastair said, ... "I've been following Thomas for days...,and I wanted to make sure he was safe. Cordelia is fond of him." "You're the one who's been following me?" Thomas said, astonished. "You knew someone was following you?" Matthew demanded. "And you didn't say anything? Thomas!"

"I didn't see you-you were this boy, following me around at school, and then I met you in Paris and you'd grown up and turned into Michaelangelo's David. I thought you were beautiful..."

Will's mouth twitched almost imperceptibly. "Do you have any other secrets, Thomas Lightwood?" ... "Question retracted," Will said, and the dragging weight of the Sword lightened immediately. Will gave Thomas a hard look and, after a moment, said intently, "Is Gideon aware that he still owes me twenty pounds?" "Yes," said Thomas, without being able to stop himself, "but he is pretending not to remember." "I knew it!" cried Will.

There was little point being stubborn when you lived forever. You learned to bend rather than break.

...an almost physical longing to be moving, traveling, free of constraint, with the wind at her back...

"... It is natural to believe that you can outrun your miseries. ... But the truth is that sorrow is fleet and loyal. It will always follow you."

"You cannot save people who do not want to be saved," said Magnus. "You can only stand by their side and hope that when they wake and realize they need saving, you will be there to help them."

[mackeydoodledoo]

From the Sky Above

Pairing: Alcina Dimitrescu x (Daughter of Zeus)Reader

Summary: Your father’s high sexual drive had given him many children. You being one of them. You were more of a troublemaker of Zeus’ bunch. Leading to your mother abandoning you, everyone pushing you away because of your “electric” personality. But, when you meet a 9ft Lady Ruler of a Castle, you may just not want to be pushed away from her.

Warnings: Parental Abandonment/Past trauma, Lack of Manners, mentions of attempted R@P3 in “Dark Blue”

A/n: Look at that, another Alcina x reader story :)

“Do I Wanna Know?” - Arctic Monkeys

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You never wanted to have anything special when you were born to a mortal woman. Yet, as soon as you had let out a scream during a fight that you were dragged into to defend one of your friends; lightning and thunder struck at your battle cry.

“Mom... As soon as I screamed, thunder crackled,” You break the silence

"That's your imagination talking," Your mother says, "Or that could simply be coincidence."

"But-but,"

"Iris Stellato," Your mother breathes

You close your mouth.

"That's just coincidence," She says, "Come on little troublemaker..."

10 Years later...

You ride through the forest floor as you could hear the thunder begin to rumble.

Better find somewhere to stay for the night...

You look up and see a castle. You rev your engine and begin heading towards the castle in the distance. 

Once you reached the entryway, you huddle your leather jacket into yourself and make your way to the door.

“Are you sure you want to be disturbing the occupants inside?” A male voice asks

“Who are you?” You ask, in a sluggish tone

“They call me The Duke,” He answers, “I’m but a humble merchant.”

“Why are you here then?” You ask, “Shouldn’t you be living it up in the city or something?” 

“Do you speak to your mother like that?” He asks

“I don’t know,” You shrug it off, “Left when I turned 18.. Got kicked out. Told me that she wished I was never born.. It’s whatever, nothing new to me anyway.”

“A shame,” He sighs, “To think a mother couldn’t teach her own daughter basic manners...”

“She tried alright,” You sigh, “I just simply didn’t retain the information.”

“Children...” He sighs, “But, make your own choices my dear.”

I do need a place to crash for a while... 

You give a simple nod to him as you leave your motorcycle next to his carriage.

“Are you not going to need that?” He asks, calling to you

“That’s practically my child!” You reply back, “I barely know you, but I feel that I can trust you with my things!”

You turn your back towards him once more as you wave him off. When you approach the giant doors. You look up to get a gander at the small details. 

Not bad...

You place your palms against the cold metal and begin pushing through the doors. It was a heavy push, you even needed to stop as soon as you stepped into the castle, gasping for air.

Good god that needs to get looked at...

Once you had caught your breath, you begin traversing through the entry room. Your eyes meet a giant breathtaking painting of three women. 

“Hmm... The Three Daughters: Bela, Daniela, Cassandra...” You read the plaque at the bottom

You look to your left and see a door. Feeling drawn, you begin walking toward it. The door had grown closer... And closer... Until you were standing right in front of it. You felt yourself reaching for the doorknob until you felt a spark.

Ah! Shit... 

You jerk your hand away and immediately fall to the floor when you saw the door beginning to open. 

“How DARE You come into my house!” A tall woman crouches through the door 

You begin backing away in fear of said tall woman and as soon as you stood up you hear a scraping noise. You raise your arms across your face in defense. Next thing you know there’s a stinging sensation all over your body and your eyesight becomes closer to the ground. 

“OW!” You groan out loudly in pain, “What the HELL Lady?!?!” 

“You DARE speak to me with that foul mouth of yours?!” She asks

However, when your vision came to, you realized she stood over you, looking down at her claw-like hand; Gold liquid in the place of Crimson red blood

“Iris Stellato?” A voice calls out to you 

“Are-are you... A...” the tall woman stutters

Your eyes shift over and see a familiar face; Cordelia Luna with a blonde woman behind her.

“Cor-Cordelia?” You call back, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I basically live here,” Cordelia replies, “Why are you here?”

“Mom kicked me out,” You answer, sitting up, but still groaning at your slashed arms; the scars were beginning to heal, but the blood was still seeping out

“No surprise,” Cordelia sighs

Your legs shoot up and begin making your way towards Cordelia. However, the blonde stands in her way.

“Touch her and you’ll end up in the dungeon,” She growls

“Feisty one aren’t you?” You smirk, almost taunting the blonde

“Bela, babe, it’s okay,” Cordelia tries to calm the blonde, “Iris is a hot head.”

“Oh I’m the hot head?!” You spit back, “You’re the one who FOUGHT a god in the first place!”

“One, that was my own father,” Cordelia starts, “Two, he almost sexually assaulted Bela!”

You watch as Cordelia’s eyes turn the bluest blue.

“You think a little water might scare me?” You smirk, “Did you forget the basics of electricity? Water’s a conductor of electricity....”

“You wanna go hot head?” Cordelia asks, calmly, but intimidatingly

 “THAT’S ENOUGH!” The tall woman screams, shaking the castle slightly

Although you were the daughter of Zeus, the tall woman’s booming voice even scared you. Slightly.

“As for you... Iris.” The tall woman begins, “Either you learn some manners or-”

“Or what?” You ask, feeling bold

“Or I will make you learn some manners,” The tall woman leans down closely, mere inches away from your face

Oh my... 

You saw how pale she looked, but you never took note of the natural beauty the woman was giving off, despite her trying to intimidate you. You didn’t feel intimidated at all. You felt... Something else.

“So... Shall we get started then?” The tall woman asks, straightening out her posture 

You nod slowly as the woman begins turning slowly towards the door she had come out of.

“Come now... Iris was it?” The tall woman turns her head to see you

You slowly nod.

“Come along now,” She beckons you once more

You do as she says and begin following her to wherever she was planning on walking off to.

“So...” You try to break the silence, “You have a name?”

“Alcina,” She answers you, “But, you shall refer to me as My Lady or Ma’am.”

You scoff at her request.

Is she being for real right now?

“Do I make myself clear?” She turns her head to look over her shoulder to you

“Yes Milady,” You say, letting out a sigh

“That perhaps works as well,” She sighs

Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned into a month. You actually saw some kind of progress in yourself as you saw yourself become closer to your cousins and their lovers. You were still unsure about Alcina though.

“She’s treated me like everyone else in the castle,” You sigh, leaning against your motorcycle

You had also grown close with The Duke as he had kept a close eye on your vehicle during your stay. 

“Shouldn’t that make you feel happy? She treats her daughters and your cousins as if they were her own children..” The Duke asks

“I should but...” Your voice trails off

“But?” He continues to ask

You were about to open your mouth before you hear the castle doors open.

“Iris,” Alcina calls to you

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” You call back

You wave to The Duke as you run back over to Alcina and follow her back into the castle.

You found yourself in the Opera Hall; where Alcina had yet to bring you. 

“Tell me, do you play?” Alcina asks, turning her head to look over her shoulder

Damn... That head turn... 

You didn’t realize that your cheeks felt warmer as you just blankly stare at Alcina.

“Iris? Are you alright?” Alcina asks

You snap back to reality as you nod and immediately sit at the piano, lifting the cover off of the keys. You clear your throat and begin stretching your fingers.

“Any requests Milady?” You ask, without turning your head to look at her

“You may choose the song,” She says, taking a hit from her elongated cigarette

You nod and begin playing a song. The only one you really know by heart. You didn’t see Alcina’s face of full surprise when you had begin allowing your fingers to slide across the piano with grace and ease. 

That woman is so graceful with the piano...

Alcina just stares at your fingers continuing to glide across the piano board. You were still into the music, that you didn't even realize Alcina sitting next to you. However you did notice when you felt large sized fingers slide above your lengthy, thin ones. You immediately draw your hands away from the piano, standing up from the piano bench: ceasing the peaceful song.

"Why did you stop playing?" Alcina asks, looking up at you, fully concerned

You couldn't answer her. You couldn't find a proper answer anyway. By instinct your feet pivoted away and break into a run.

"Iris!" Alcina calls for you

You took off with such speed it would take Alcina herself awhile to catch up to you.

Did I hear?.... Thunder?....

Your eyes were blurry as you tried to hold back your tears.

This Castle's a damn maze...

You actually knew the layout of the castle well enough in your stay. Bit in the heat of the moment, everything was a blur.

"Iris! Hey what-" Cassandra calls out to you

However your reaction time became slower and you accidentally knock yourself into her, knocking the both of you to the ground.

"What the hell?!" Cassandra groans

However, she gasps and backs away when she looks into your eyes: no irises or pupils; all Grey colored... Clouds.

"I-I'm sorry," Was all you could muster together

"Iris! Come back!" Alcina continues calling for you

However, you jolt up and continue running off to anywhere. You couldn't see anymore. You only saw the worst part of your coming of age portion of your life. You grip onto something and you begin breathing heavily.

“You’re old enough now. Get out.” Your Mother says, coldly

You had just turned 18; you weren’t really expecting anything big from your mother, but you hadn’t expected her kicking you out

“But... Why? I just graduated mom,” You say, almost surprised

“Because you’re a full adult now,” She says, still in a cold tone, “Besides, I can’t take care of a troublemaker like you anymore!”

Your heart shatters to a million pieces... The only woman you’ve ever known all your life, who practically raised you, even embraced you through all of your troubled times... Is now kicking you out. 

“Fine,” you say, clearly holding back tears, “Have it your way.”

You embrace the suitcase that your mom had at least nicely packed for you and turn your back to her, never looking back. You attempt to reach out to some friends; but they gave you a similar response to your mothers’. You take a journey to the mountain range; practically the only place you could feel open to. You abandon your now dead car and begin traveling up the mountain. 

First mom... Now all of my friends... What did I do to make them all hate me?...

You continue breathing heavily as the memory replays in your head. However, you hear snarling from a distance, then to your left... Right... From everywhere....

Alcina frantically searches the castle for you. However no luck.

"Cassandra!! Come here! Now!" She calls for her middle daughter

"Yes mother?" She asks, materializing from her fly swarm

"Have you seen Iris?" She asks, almost bursting into tears, "She just ran off..."

"I don't know where she ran off to... But her eyes were... Clouded..." Cassandra says

Before Alcina could venture off further, the both of them hear a blood curdling scream with a flash of lightning and the sound of thunder to follow.

"That sounded close..." Cassandra groans from the ringing in her ears

"Stay here Cassandra," Alcina tells her child

As much as she could carry, she hastily walks over to the doors to the courtyard and slams them open.

"Iris!!" Alcina yells

You shove over one of the ghouls and you look over and with your vision slowly coming to, you could see Alcina coming towards you.

"Al-Alci-AH!" You yelp in pain

The ghoul you had shoved aside had stood back up and slashed you in the hip, golden blood oozing out of your side.

"IRIS!" Alcina yells, watching you fall against the statue and then the ground

Alcina runs over and slices the ghouls to ribbons as she kneels and takes you into her arms. Gold blood was practically everywhere; staining her dress. But she didn't care.

"Al-Alcina?..." You call out to her

"I'm here," Alcina tears up, "You're going to be okay..."

She stands back up with you in her arms as she carries you bridal style back into the castle, her three daughters and their Demigod lovers watching.

When you come to, you feel lavish bedsheets below and above you. You try to sit up however, you feel a familiar touch on your shoulder.

"Don't try to sit up draga mea," Alcina says, calmly, "Your wounds will open back up again if you try."

"I'm-I'm sorry Milady, I.... Don't know what happened.. And I-"

Alcina places a finger gently over your mouth, ceasing your words.

"Don't talk..." Alcina says, "We can talk more once you're fully healed.."

It didn't take you long to fully heal, you were a Demigod after all. However, you were about to have a bath when you noticed your bruised ribcage.

“You hit one of my statues quite hard draga mea,” Alcina says, coming in through the doorway

“Oh! Milady! I-I,” You frantically try to put your shirt back on

As she watches you in amusement, she notices a dark mark along your collarbone.

“What’s that?” Alcina asks

You look at her, confused. Until you looked to the direction she was pointing in. Your Mark...

“My mark?” You ask, looking back up at her

She nods.

“Oh,” You sigh, “If I had any other siblings, they’d have this mark. If you’ve seen ones on Joan, Achlys, and Cordelia, this is one that the Children of Zeus get.”

“How would you know if you’re his child?” She asks, trying not to sound suspicious

“If struck by lighting and all of a sudden this mark appears after doesn’t answer your question, then what will?” You ask, jokingly

“You got struck by lightning?” Alcina asks, almost breaking into a laugh

You nod. Then she breaks into a laugh. You never heard her laugh before, so it was kind of serotonin-boosting to you.

“Where are my manners..” Alcina sighs, trying to contain her laughter, “Shall I help you with that?” 

You didn’t really have time to process for an answer as she was already behind you, scrunching her fingers along the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it off of your body, You jolt when you felt Alcina’s gloved fingers make contact with your skin. 

“I’m-I’m sorry,” Alcina says

“You felt that too right?” You ask, not turning to look at her

“I did yes,” Alcina answers

You allow her to finish removing your shirt as you simply watch her run the bath for you, allowing the most lavish soaps and bath salts settle their way into the hot water. 

“You should be all set now draga mea,” Alcina says

With that, she leaves you to your lonesome. 

You step out from the large doors of the castle, Alcina beside you. 

“You be careful okay?” Alcina gives you one last request

You finally look up at her; her porcelain skin glistening against the sunlight. You nod to her request. You look back towards your motorcycle; Duke had kept it alongside with him the entire time. You found yourself grateful to him for it. 

“You’re always welcome here you know,” Alcina says, “You also... Don’t have to go either...”

“Ahh,” You sigh, deciding not to look at her, “But, who am I if I’m not on an adventure?”

“Iris, that’s who you are,” Alcina says

You don’t answer her as you decide to walk towards your motorcycle, not looking back in the slightest. Backpack slung over your shoulders as you catch your keys from the Duke. You listen to her purr as you start up your motorcycle and revv its engine. 

Alcina watches as you ride off past the tree line, disappearing. She wipes a tear away as she slowly begins turning towards the inside of her castle. She only stops when she hears the roaring engine of your motorcycle comign back into hearing range. She watches you as you frantically try to get your leg over your motorcycle. You run back up the stairs and crash your body, and your lips onto Alcina’s. 

“Dr-draga mea...” Alcina calls to you, muffled by your lips, “What is the meaning of this????”

“I can’t go..” You say, in almost a whimper, “You’re the only in my entire life who’s never pushed me away because of... me...”

“Draga mea... What do you mean?” She asks, still holding you in her arms, your feet still lifted off of the ground

“My mother kicked me out because she decided that when I turned 18, she won’t have to deal with me anymore... Friends decided the same thing for themselves too... So, the next several months it’s only been my motorcycle and I... But, coming here... Meeting you... I feel like.. when I look at you, or I’m simply in your presence, or you let yourself bask in mine... I feel like I’m not getting judged just by how I used to be... No matter how much trouble I may have caused in the last month for you.. You never pushed me away... Why?...”

“It’s simple draga mea... I love you,” Alcina simply answers

Your mouth hangs agape. You were never lucky with love, friendship, or anything that involves getting close to people. You never found anyone that could keep you from letting your short-tempered, hot head into the clouds. That was... Until you met Alcina Dimitrescu. 

[black-dragon1998]

Life at castle Dimitrescu

Summarry: reader (half-human/ half-demon) living at castle Dimitrescu. her interactions with the lady of the castle and her daughters. 

Autor note: I haven’t played through the whole game (Resident Evil Village) but I have played through castle Dimitrescu and know what happens to Alcina, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela. I am not going to follow the canon universe in my fics about RE8 unless specified otherwise. The Dimitrescu ladies deserved more.

Likes and comments are always welcome.

The sound of your heavy boots running over the marble floor almost drowned out the sound of the person chasing you. Unlike you, they weren’t running but still. Your chaser was catching up to you. In your head, you could imagine Lady Dimitrescu casually walking behind you, her tall frame allowing her to cover more distance. This all forced you to be smarter and hope to outsmart them.

In the main hall, you took 10 seconds break. Go up the stairs and to the bedroom halls or go via the courtyard to the music hall. Hearing the buzzing sound coming from upstairs made that decision for you. So you ran to the dining hall. It was winter so too cold for the girls to go outside so you only had to keep an eye out for Lady Dimitrescu outside.

Your heartbeat sped up the closer you got to the door. In your head, you had already reached the safe zone but you willed yourself to stay focused. From pasted experiences, you had learned not to get ahead of yourself when Lady Dimitrescu was involved in the game. The moment you wanted to open the door it opened, revealing Lady Dimitrescu making you stop in your tracks. falling on your ass and skiting forward.

“Well, well little one it seems I have cut off your escape route.” Alcina mocked with her signature wicked smirk. Not giving up just yet you scramble back onto your feet and try to get back to the main hall, hoping the girls had already moved on from the second floor. A hand clamped around your ankle as you reached the threshold, hoisting you up into the air upside down. You can’t help but frown that is forming on your face as Alcina lifts you to look at your face.

“we promised no powers, If I can’t shift then you guys can’t teleport.” Your frown had now turned into a full-blown pout. Alcina couldn’t help but smile at how adorable you were when you pouted. She wouldn’t admit it but she had developed a soft spot for you. Ever since Daniela brought you back to the castle after finding you in the town beaten and bloody. Her youngest daughter had chased away the Lycan that had hurt you before bringing you back. All four Dimitrescu women had became intrigued when they noticed your black blood and only hours after you entered the castle all your wounds were healed.

Almost a year had gone by since your first entered the big castle and over that time you had really warmed up to the Dimitrescu ladies. The girls liked to play hide and seek with you and when they learned you were half-human, half-demon they practically squealed. They didn’t have to be careful when they were playing. Sometimes Alcina joined you and the girls in your little games, but when she joined you always lost.

“no little one, you made that deal with my girls, not me.” Lady Dimitrescu says while letting go of your foot. You make an elegant turn so you land on your feet.

“and don’t think I wasn’t on to your little plan. Going through the courtyard where my girls can’t follow.” Alcina continued raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow at you. Having no reply, that was your plan so you didn’t have a comeback so you stayed silent. Alcina took this as confirmation.

 Before the conversation could go on Daniela materializes into the room and latches onto you. Instinctively you pull her closer and drive up your body temperature, making sure she didn’t get cold, handy perk you could do. Bela, Cassandra and Daniela liked to snuggle up to you on cold nights like this.

“did mother find you?” Daniela asks to giggle just sounding a little too sweet. Knowing what it meant if you said yes.

“you already know the answer to that darling, she always manages to find me.” You replay while following lady Dimitrescu further inside, leading Daniela to the fireplace. She was feeling too cold for your liking and you wanted to warm her up.

The moment you sit down on the couch Infront of the fireplace Daniela was immediately on your lap. Bela manifested on your left and Cassandra on your right. Before either of them could strike you warned them.

“each gets one bite. Remember I do bite back.” Each of the girls gives you an affirmative sound before they take a chuck out of you. Bela bites into your arm, Cassandra does the same but on the other side. Daniela decides she wants a taste of your blood and sinks her fangs into your neck. After a few tugs, you give Daniela’s side a little pinch telling her to knock it off. Bela and Cassandra already retreated.

“I said one bite, Dani, not suck me dry.” You grumble as you pry her off your neck, Bela and Cassandra giggled among themselves. The only thing you caught was Cassandra’s reply to Bela.

“I think Dani would love for (Y/N) to take a piece out of her. They are always all over each other.” Cassandra giggles seeing your face heat up. Instead of denying anything Daniela just throws gasoline on the fire.

“they aren’t wrong, I do love it when you leave your marks on me,” Dani replies in her most sluttery voice she could muster, making your face flush and a couple of fires pop up around the room. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the sisters who couldn’t help but laugh at your expense. You wanted to be mad at them you did but at moments like this, they looked the most human and happy. So if it had to be at your expanse so be it.

 The night went on, with the sisters talking under themselves. Dani not leaving the spot on your lap. Lady Dimitrescu came checking on the four of you once in a while but mostly kept to her chambers. As a mother, she baskets in how happy her daughters and she admitted at least to herself that part of it was because of you and she was forever grateful for it.

 When they kept on teasing you, you threatened with tacking away their toys and forbid them from going into the village the moment it became warmer. Lady Dimitrescu herself had given you that privilege and the girls knew this. The threat alone made them stop.

You basket in the silence that emitted around you, knowing it wouldn’t last long. The girls were good at many things, staying quiet and sitting still wasn’t one of them. Only minutes later the sister started begging you if they could watch a movie on your laptop.

The only electronics meant for entertainment were in your chambers after you asked, begged Lady Dimitrescu to keep them. After that, the girls were hooked on Disney movies and occasionally one of them would ask to get them something. The only reason lady Dimitrescu allowed it was because it was the only activity the girls could do without bickering or fighting.

Even though the girls wanted to watch a movie. The moment you were all installed and sat down on the bed, the girls scattered around your bed. The moment it came to choosing they couldn’t decide. When the bickering became too loud you made the decision yourself and put on Beauty and the Beast. Relaxing into your cushions in the middle of the bed.

Bela was the first to notice it and stopped bickering with her sister to snuggle into your side. Daniela was next , she laid down on your other side and rested her head on your chest. Cassandra eventually laid down next to Bela and rested her head on your hip.

 That is how Alcina found you the next morning. She was happy with how affectionate you were with her daughters. Even though you and Daniela shared a lovers bond you never forgot Bela and Cassandra. You tried to give all three the same amount of attention and Alcina couldn’t be happier. Deciding to let the four of you sleep for a little while longer she retreated to her chamber letting the maids know not to disturb you.

[krispytidalwavesheep]

Hopes and Dreams Part I

.I have this idea in my head since I saw the first trailer of Resident Evil 8, which was in March? This will be multichaptered and english isn’t my first language, so if anyone of you likes the story enough and is willing to be my beta, I would greatly appreciate it. *** About the story: Reader was Alcinas first lover and got reincarnated over the centuries. Alcina lost her everytime and after the fifth, she just gave up on ever finding reader again, because she couldn’t take losing her anymore times. But as fate would have it, the reader will find her.... Chapter One

Five. Five times Alcina has seen you reincarnated and crossing her way, and yet, fate always found a way to take you from her. The last one was particularly grueling. She remembered the day she lost you, as if it happened yesterday and considering her immortality, it may have been. You looked so happy and excited when you said your goodbyes, and Alcina could understand that. The titanic was a big thing then, even more so after the tragedy that unfolded. You were one of the many victims of the sheer stupidity of men, at least in her opinion and she hasn’t been the same since. Every single one of your deaths was devastating, but the last one was the one that broke her. Bela was there to take care of her, but something died within Alcina when she heard that fate had taken you away from her yet again.

When Cassandra and Daniela came into her life, it certainly helped, but she still grieved for you to this day. Usually, she would search to the ends of the world for you, but she couldn’t stand to lose you, if she ever found you again. She couldn’t do that to either you or herself.

She straightened her dress when she got to her feet again, gently stroking a hand over your grave. Well, the first you, anyway. The only one where any remains were found to be buried. You loved the lake near the castle, no matter in which life. Some asked about the tombstone, but she would just smile and say that it was someone she cherished when she was young, never revealing the whole truth. The first you lived the longest and happiest, before Alcina was turned. Centuries before Mother Miranda found out about her and the other lords.

Her musing was disrupted when she heard distant howling. It seemed like Heisenberg’s Lycans had found another victim, and they were oh so messy in their killing. She harrumphed and started her trek back to the castle, ignoring the ever-closer growing howling. That was until she heard rustling and a figure, cursing like a sailor rushed out from the bushes. Your eyes met and time seemed to stop for both of you.

***

You were furious with yourself for letting your guard down. You have been hiding away in this remote village for two years now, so far avoiding any supernatural beings. But it seems your luck had run out. You were checking your traps in the forest, never noticing them sneaking up on you. Which was a feat in and on itself, normally you could smell them miles away. During your travels you had to fight of many supernatural beings, a pack of Lycans shouldn’t be a problem, but the forest was dense in these parts and you knew when you were at a disadvantage. So, you ran, hoping to distract them with the chase long enough to form a plan.

Meeting her wasn’t part of the plan. You have never seen the lady of the castle, but you heard enough to know exactly who you were looking at, her height being one dead giveaway. Yet something about her made you stop dead in your tracks, the pack of Lycans chasing after you completely forgotten. Her honey-colored eyes stirred something in you, some feeling of familiarity you couldn’t quite place. Your heart clenched, not entirely in an uncomfortable way, because she was just so stunning. If you weren’t gay before you sure as hell were now. What intrigued you even more was the look of utter shock in her eyes, mixed with other emotions you could have named, if it weren’t for the Lycan crashing into you and propelling you down the small cliff you hadn’t noticed before.

“Motherfucking mutt!” you hissed and pulled the knife from your boot. You skillfully spin the Lycan underneath you, stabbing the knife into the Lycans chest to soften your fall. But another four already jumped right after you and you were still distracted by the lady, who apparently decided that watching you would be a nice way to kill some time. With a sickening crunch from the dead Lycan you landed on the edge of the lake. The others where circling you, growling menacingly. With another sickening crunch you pulled your knife free and took a defensive post. You kept most of your concentration on the Lycans, but the woman was still distracting you somewhat.

‘Might as well try to impress her’ you thought and grinned up at her, which was your second mistake that day. You felt sharp claws digging into your left leg and hissed in annoyance.

“Not cool, man!” you huffed and kicked him in the throat. The desire to impress equally impressive tall, beautiful women left your mind and you made quick process of the remaining Lycans standing in your way. You kicked the corpse of the one that got you for good measure, cursing under your breath. When you turned around you noticed that the lady had made your way to you, still staring you down as if you were the weirdest thing around here.

“I would help you, but it seems you have the situation under control,” she said, and a shiver ran down your spine. Her voice was like liquid honey and your heart clenched again. You absentmindedly rubbed your chest and said “Well, they are not the first supernatural being I have encountered, and they aren’t the most dangerous ones.”

She seemed impressed with your answer if the slight smirk was anything to go by. Her gaze wandered down to your leg and something in her eyes changed. Some far away voice in your head screamed for you to run from her, but you felt weirdly safe around her.

“Believe me when I say that I taste quite awful,” you said and grinned. That seemed to pull her out of her daze, and she stepped closer to you. You gulped a bit when the realization of how tall she truly was hit you, but you wouldn’t back down either. Craning your neck to keep looking at her face you stood still and waited. You should be scared shitless and still you felt as if no danger was coming your way. Yet.

“You should take care of that, before you attract more of them” she simply said and turned around. Sheer stupidity, paired with a malfunctioning brain to mouth barrier made you utter your next words “Well, shouldn’t you be the one to help me out, considering that I only got hurt, trying to impress you?”

She turned around so fast that you just knew she popped something. She was upon you in seconds and hissed “Excuse me?”

“I- I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” you stuttered and felt a blush creeping up your face. All her beauty and your weird feeling aside, she was still someone infinitely more dangerous than 200 Lycans combined. What exactly had you gotten yourself into? 

***

Seeing you tumble out of the woods came as a shock to her system. No matter how many times you got reborn, she would always recognize you, though you certainly looked more different than ever before. Not that Alcina had much time to look at you, when just a few seconds after your eyes met a Lycan barreled into you. Her feet moved on her own, ignoring the other Lycans tumbling down the small cliff, when she rushed to the ledge of the small cliff just in time to see you landing on the dead Lycan.

You were certainly feisty and skilled this time around and the grin you threw her way made her feel things she thought long buried. Until one Lycan got to you and she saw red, but when she came down, she only saw you kicking a dead Lycan before he turned into dust. Alcina was rather impressed when you made that off-hand comment about encountering other beings before. Which would explain why you didn’t react to her like normal people do.

No matter how many times you two met in the course of history, there were certain things that never changed: you always looked similar to your you before, and your smell. Looking at you now, she realized that this time, a lot has changed. The most obvious being your smell. You still smelled like you, but something was underneath all that, that made you somehow all the more alluring to her. Something in your blood sang to her and it confused her a great deal.

You were always kind of shy and timid around her when you first met, but the confidence you oozed made you all the more attractive and Alcina felt as if she was betraying your past lives with that thought. Hearing that you encountered supernatural beings before made her stop dead in her tracks. What was your life like until you met? What happened to you to change you so fundamentally? But your next words shocked you more than she would ever admit

“Well, shouldn’t you be the one to help me out, considering that I only got hurt, trying to impress you?” you said with such an insufferable grin that Alicna had the impulse to strangle you for the first time in her long life.

“Excuse me?” she hissed and clenched her hands. Not that you would notice. But apparently you didn’t mean to say that, if your blush was anything to go by. Still, Alcina was fuming at the blatant rudeness, but also shocked at your bluntness. Your new personality was… still somehow endearing and interesting. She couldn’t fit your current you into the picture she had of you which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

“What is your name?” Alcina asked and took a few steps back to get a better look at you. The smile you gave her was apologetic when you said “Excuse my poor manners, I really don’t know what has gotten into me today. My name is y/n.”

“I am Lady Alcina Dimitrescu, but you will call me Lady Dimitrescu or my lady. You would do good to remember your manners, little one.” She said and offered her hand to you. You gave her another stunning smile as you took her hand and bowed to give kiss to her knuckles that did ABSOLUTELY not fluster her, before you purred, “It is a pleasure to meet you, my lady.”

You would be the certain death of her this time around. She was certain of that. She should keep her distance from you, it wouldn’t do to become to attached to your, your attitude would get you killed rather sooner than later. But what she said was: “Come now. The castle isn’t that far, and night is almost upon us. It wouldn’t do to stay out here, with you being injured.”

[evita-shelby]

Between the Shadow and the Soul

Chapter 25

tw: for murder, child endangerment and kidnapping 

On the outside they are the most perfect family in the whole of England. Not a hair out of place, a baby bump that is aesthetically pleasing and an angelic little cherub of a son.

She wears a blue linen dress that matches perfectly with Charlie’s coat with accessories that match her husband’s tie. No one would ever guess that she had a gun in her purse and a knife strapped to her thigh.

“So, when will we announce we are making the institute mostly secular, husband?” Eva is not allowed to drink, not a sip of champagne nor the whiskey in Tommy’s hip flask and she is like a lion pacing in its cage. A very well-dressed lioness discreetly shoving the bill for a completely remade office that will belong to Linda Shelby, into her husband’s coat. Hughes had gotten his office last week, and just last night, Eva had the locks changed, the window with the crucifix broken irreparably and made sure that the plaque saying: Linda Shelby, Counselor will be added during the speech.

Linda needed a purpose besides keeping her trainwreck of a husband together, and there was no other religious person she’d trust with those children. Mostly because said religious woman wouldn’t hesitate to send Arthur after whoever hurts the children.

“You will, when I cede the stage to you. Hughes knows you’re the one to watch out for thanks to your little stunt at the dinner party but thinks I’m capable of reining you in.” he keeps his voice low, but there is a turn on his lips and a look in his eyes that makes her giggle like an infatuated teenager.

To everyone, this looks like a husband and his wife enjoying a quiet moment alone, flirting as if they were newlyweds. If they knew Mrs. Shelby had a body count that she wished to expand today they’d lose their minds.

“Good, I enjoy being underestimated.”

Perhaps, she should have been less obvious about it, but it's too late now. She knows, she can feel it when the ladies swarm her and Tommy for a photograph with a stupid little statue of Cassandra and her husband holding Charlie because fathers who care are so fucking rare these days.

“Your husband should’ve kept his end of the deal, Mrs. Shelby.” she hears the words three times before it happens.

Aman had taken Charlie because he was anxious around the chattering insipid women only to be followed by Mrs. Palmer and an employee she had never met before.

Eva barely has time to hint to her husband and leave before she falls into Hughes’ trap.

What use is a gun if you don’t have enough time to get it before you are ambushed by a priest and his lackeys in a locked room?

“The foundation belongs to me, not my husband.” Eva swallows her fears knowing everything she says will put her baby boy in more danger. “What I do with it is my business and my business alone.”

“Still, he didn’t keep his end of the deal and now he will learn what happens when someone crosses me.” Hughes says opening her purse and shooting the gun at a window before shooting Aman. A perfect distraction to get her to wherever it is this monster hides in.

Eva should know how to get out this by now, but everything she knows goes out the window the moment she sees her beautiful baby boy with a gun aimed at his head.

“Now, Mrs. Shelby, I will need you to obey me if you want your little mongrel safe.”

He makes the mistake of not checking for weapons on her. Her gun may have been abandoned at the orphanage, but her knife was still on her garter.

Hughes has them somewhere in Maypole, Eva may still have little knowledge of her now home country, but she knew it took roughly fifteen to twenty minutes to get there, to the south of Birmingham. There were farms close by, and if she played her cards right, she could reach one of them.

He has them in a cell in the basement, if she behaves, he will let her keep Charlie. He didn’t put chains on her ---yet--- thinking she is unarmed.

Its barely early evening when she makes the first attempt. She can pick locks; she can make a petrol bomb and she can even bust people out of prisons in both Mexico and Texas, but her greatest talent has always been appearing weak.  

Hughes doesn’t want them dead, so he brings them meagre rations of bread ---last time it was two sandwiches--- and water. Still, at four months pregnant and with morning sickness from hell, it's absolutely nothing.

Her visons become vague and distorted when she is weak, but she knows enough. Tomorrow night, Michael will be the one to rescue them as Tommy finishes the tunnel and his brothers blow up the train.

But she can’t wait for them.

If she can get out before dusk, she can stop Tommy from taking the blame for what the Economic League will do to his family.

Eva pressed a kiss on her sleeping son’s head as the door is unlocked. Knife hidden in her hand; she waits for the right moment.

Her knife has never failed her, and it won’t now.

“We have plans for every single one of you.” the Priest knows his life is over, but he thinks he’s got an ace up his sleeve. “You and your husband think no one can catch up to you, but we have been planning this since your husband was recommended to us, you know.”

“I know so much more than you think, I know you set all this up so that when a Shelby puts a bullet between your eyes, they all die because they blew up a train.” she taunts him, her knowledge of the future was her ace, and it will always will be. “But you won’t live to see morning, in fact you won’t live to threaten my husband.”

Hughes had been behind Angel Changretta’s death, behind whatever accident that befell Vincent Changretta and the reason why everyone would hate Thomas Shelby for the next year. It was a failsafe, to have the entire Shelby Family arrested and her repatriated to Mexico ---because it's difficult to negotiate a pardon when the president hates you for ruining his schemes--- after forcing them to blow up the train.

“One by one, starting with you, the Palmers, Patrick Jarvis, everyone except for Admiral Hall. He'll live knowing he owes his life to me.” she laughs. All this would get her a pardon from Calles, the President of Mexico; a ladder into high society and best of all, leverage she can use when the next war rolls about.

“Are you planning on doing that while your husband’s family rots in prison and all that’s left of your son is put in an urn? Don’t forget, Mrs. Shelby, I hold the most important card of all.” he warns her, but she’s seen the future and Eva doesn’t need to be complacent anymore.

“What makes you think that will happen, the future is a fickle thing, nothing is ever certain.” The priest looks annoyed, and she goes on knowing that as long as he is lulled into a false sense of security. “Who’s to say you won’t get into an accident on your way to Small Heath, roads are so dangerous when it rains.”

“You are all bark and no bite, Mrs. Shelby. You played soldier for three years and you think that makes you dangerous when all you were was a camp follower jumping from bed to bed.” Hughes laughs as if he’d seen past her charade. He hasn’t, and that is what will get him killed.

He turns his back to her to leave, he doesn’t leave the plate, assuming she’ll break it over his head. She stands, pretending she’s going to sit with her sleeping boy, but at the last second, she lunges at his exposed back and plunged the knife deep into his left shoulder.

Hughes cries out in pain, turns to try and grab her, but she’s got the upper hand now. His movement are clumsy from the pain and blood loss, the fucker can barely fight her as she drives the knife again and again.

By the time she’s done Eva’s pretty blue dress is covered in blood and her little boy is screaming at the gruesome scene.

But it's over and that’s all that matters.

Eva keeps walking in the rain until she gets to the first telephone booth she finds. Her hands are shaking as she shifts Charlie to her hip and with her free hand gets the speaker of the telephone.

Charlie is frightened, her sweet angel has seen too much. Won't surprise her if he developed a fear of priests and her.

“Number 6, Watery Lane, please.” she is barely holding herself together when she hears his voice. “Maypole, whatever you do, don’t come for me, send someone they don’t know.”

Eva was relieved to know she had left clothes for emergencies in their closet. There was something comforting about putting on the same dress she had worn when she was pregnant with Charlie and May Carleton had shown up to the betting shop. It was sleeveless, white with blue pin stripes and, mercifully, had pockets.

6 Watery Lane was the safest place for them right now, Tommy’s room was the only place she could comfortably sleep in and know no one will touch a hair on her baby.

“It wasn’t your family who sold us out, mi amor.” she says after a long while.

Tommy held Charlie as she threw the bloody clothes into a metal can and dropped a lit match. Her baby is afraid of her now, scared of stone walls, small spaces and the dark as well. But he will outgrow his fears and they’ll become vague memories soon enough.

“It was Solomons, wasn’t it?” he asks, rhetorically. That part of her vision had been vague, it had told her someone would betray them to the Economic League, but it never said who.

“It's my fault. I shouldn’t have mentioned the Palmers, he wouldn’t have gone to them if I hadn’t opened my mouth that morning in your study.” Had she kept her trap shut then Charlie wouldn’t have ever seen her kill a man in front of him.

“Only thing that matters to me is that the two of you are safe. You'll stay here until it's over, Tatiana said there’s things in the cellar we can use to get Churchill and the King to do whatever we want.” he tries to assuage her guilt, but they both know she’s the reason things have gotten out of hand.

Eva looks at the flames destroying the last bits of evidence of Hughes’ murder and sees they aren’t in the clear yet. The alliance between the Soviets and the British has to fall, the train has to blow up just like the Economic League and Churchill need it to.

“You’ll still have to go along with their plan, the train has to blow up.” she looks at him apologetically. She had fucked up and now his family had to pay the price.