#i seriously am just rambling atp

[viscerax]

oh em gee ok so what are ur favorite religious symbolisms/allegorys in marble hornets? 🤨🤨 i am interested..,

i hope mine were acceptable TM 😭

Jumping around in joy rn I am so glad someone asked about this. I just love marble hornets so much and I LOVE all the religious parallels in the series (religious upbringing go CRAZY)

SO!!! I think u reblogged one of my posts and you were talking about Alex being viewed as a lamb, and honestly that is soooo real.

Because of the whole thing where Alex is represented by a stigmata, in my mind, I see Alex as some really shitty savior/lamb. From his perspective, he is doing a sort of cleansing, and then sacrificing himself. By killing these people before they can get sucked too far into it, he is showing mercy to them (at least from his perspective).

ALSO... totheark. The ARK.... like. Noah's ark. Because in the Bible, the flood was sent by God to wipe out the entirety of the population of earth, save for the only pure person and his family. In this situation, I personally believe that Jay and Tim would be Noah in this situation. It could also be Brian. Since TTA is ran by multiple ppl (in my mind I believe it to be Brian, Masky, and possibly Seth), they could all have somewhat different intentions. But we see that at least one of the members at least want to keep Tim and Jay alive. This may just be my interpretation, but in Surveillance, with the clips of Jay and Tim flashing on the screen, and then the word "PERMENANCE" this could mean in a way that TTA is sort of trying to protect Jay and Tim. Thats entirely theoretical tho so don't take that to heart.

But anyways, anytime tta references the flood (Deluge, Impure.)

Or we could think about the other meaning of ark. As in The Ark of The Covenant. Don't quote me on this, but from what I remember, the word ark in Hebrew has something to do with a sacred enclosure or container that holds onto sacred scrolls, writings, etc...

So, TTA saying "Bring me to the ark" could be a way of saying that they are trying to reveal secrets. Bring them to the ark as in bring them into a place where these secrets and hidden writings are stored. TTA's main goal always seemed to be revealing secrets.

Beyond that, I could ramble in and on about how these boys lived in Alabama, and probably all had very religious upbringings. I headcanon both Alex and Jay as trans, and in case you weren't brought up religiously, these spaces aren't always very accepting of trans identities (does not apply to every religious space, obviously)

I think Alex's parents were strictly catholic. Church every Sunday. I feel like Jay and Alex knew eachother since middle school and Alex invited Jay to a summer camp (mostly because Alex didn't want to go without any friends and he had no interest in making friends with the other kids at his church.)

I think Jay's parents were sort of lazy churchgoers, but still very strict with their religion. Jay was very closeted as a child. Homeschooled for sure. Type of kid who wasn't allowed to watch SpongeBob or any cartoons that wasn't VeggieTales or something like that. He believed in it until he got to the age where he realized he had free will and didn't just have to believe everything his family spoon-fed him.

Alex carried his religion into his adulthood. I feel like he still believed in a God, and he was angry with him. How could God be so cruel, to curse him with a body that didn't fit him. To force him to take on this burden with the whole Operator thing. He definitely had a savior complex throughout the whole thing.

[nyaskitten]

Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.

[atsu-i]

Because I'm in my 30's too and I feel like an ignorant kid who is lost. I can't seem to grasp the meaning of adulthood and feel accomplished as one, also when I was a kid I saw adults as people who had their shit together and know Lotta stuff meanwhile I am just an grown up with no knowledge about life.

:0

[feelbokkie]

Emergency Bokkie's Room #2

(Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again)

I want to start off by saying that I'm not mad. At least not right now. I was at first, but I'm just tired at this point and something should be said.

You might have noticed that I haven't been as active content writing wise lately and that I've stopped tagging my mutuals in the hashtag section of my posts and there are reasons for that.

fair warning, there will be swearing below

there will also probably be spelling and grammar mistakes bc I don't care

I am getting tired. I'm not burnt out. God, I wish I was because i have so many ideas running through my head at all times that it's exhausting.

I'm straight up, no longer having a good time on this account and that's because of somethings that have been happening behind the scenes. I wasn't going to talk about it but at the end of the day, I should address them, even if it's only once.

In no particular order:

First, if you're going to harass my mutuals. Don't. I stopped tagging my mutuals via hashtags, I deleted my mutuals list, and I am painstakingly going through the old hashtags and deleting them. They're my friendships. Who I interact with, how I interact with them, and when I interact with them is between me and that individual.

If you want to be friends with me, talk to me. Ask anyone, I'm pretty pleasant to talk to when I'm not going through it.

But also, remember that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me. If you're concerned about who I surround myself with, take that up with me directly, or trust that can handle things on my own. Because, at the end of the day, I can. If you're mad that I'm friends with them and not you, maybe try having a conversation with me first before you go attacking people. Just a a help suggestion.

Second,

i know i'm annoying at times. i'm the youngest child, it's in my blood. if you are getting annoyed by my rambles, simply just block them. I tag all my rumbles and I even made a helpful guide on how to do so right here and i even have a list of commonly used tags that i have on this account too that you can also block

Finally, I shouldn't have to say this because it should be very obvious but shit like this is never okay:

First of all, if you're going to be blatantly racist to anyone, unkindly get the fuck off my page. My fics are not for you. I don't have the time or patience to deal with you or your ignorant ass. If I see you being disrespectful towards anyone in my asks, comments, etc. it's an automatic block on all my accounts, I don't give a single fuck.

Secondly, I'm delusional, yes, but I'm also just having fun. I'm not actually trying to date anyone in skz or any other idol for that matter. It's called a joke, I don't know if anyone's explained the concept to you, but it's not to be taken seriously. Just like my page isn't. Me joking about me dating Seungmin and how "that man owns me atp" isn't serious and it wasn't serious enough for you to call me the n-word with the hard -er. Which, congratulations btw, you are the second person ever to call me that to my face (the first being my dad and he is the devil reincarnate so, what does that make you?).

I shouldn't have to sit here and lecture anyone on basic human decency and common sense but here we are. We are very rapidly approaching a future where I'm just not on tumblr at all anymore which sucks for a multitude of reasons and I'm just trying to have fun like everyone else.

Okay, that's all. For those of you who read through the end and didn't need to be scolded, sorry about that. Please take this big hug as an apology

[aihoshiino]

Atp i would like to see how ruby and aqua's relarionship will go. Not in "Yasss incest!" way but more of how they (mostly ruby) realize that they need to go their past lives and accept their relation as siblings. Or at least how wrong it is even if ruby wants it so much. There is no way incest would happen because Aka hates it. I am more interested in their psychological state and their conflict and resolving that conflict.

I don't think we can definitely say Akasaka Loves or Hates XYZ just because none of us know him, but there is a weird sense of like... discomfort or maybe avoidance on the topic of incest in OnK that I find kind of interesting to just poke at in my head sometimes. Because like, one of my main issues with the way OnK has handled the incest since 123 is that it just... well, hasn't.

I know that sounds insane in a post 143 world but going through the way the AquRuby stuff (or lbr just Ruby) has been written since 123, it feels like there's a very clear distinction between the ideas of "Ruby having feelings for Aqua, her brother" and "Ruby (& Sarina through her) having feelings for Goro, her doctor". When the story wants to play AquRuby for laughs, it leans into Ruby being attracted to her brother. When it actually takes things seriously, the framing is almost always Ruby addressing Gorou and the concept of incest is so loudly, conspicuously absent. You can even sort of see this line being drawn all the way back in 123, just at the end where Ruby very pointedly first addresses Aqua and then, separately, addresses "Sensei". It's almost as if she's purposely trying to create a divide so she can have one without dealing with the reality of what it would mean to be with the other.

It's hard to tell whether or not this is intentional in the sense of being part of Ruby's arc but it nevertheless creates a sense of the series wanting to have its cake and eat it too, indulging in the shock value and spicy intrigue of incest as a taboo without meaningfully engaging with it as subject matter. I've described it elsewhere recently as the series exclusively toying with the *aesthetics* of incest, its surface level referential language and set dressing, while resolutely avoiding going any deeper and I still stand by that. The 143 kiss is actually a really good example of this - the imagery is that of two siblings kissing but on that very same page, Ruby reminds us that in her eyes, she is talking to and in love with her "Sensei". The series has conducted this deeply convoluted narrative trick where it can depict what is very clearly incest without it technically being incest. Even when roadblocks to the GRSR relationship are addressed, it's only ever in reference to their age gap and Ruby always frames it as something that *used* to stand in their way but is no longer an issue now she's 18.

On days I am feeling charitable towards the series, I'm inclined to think this is an intentional part of Ruby's arc and that she is, in universe, being a bit delulu about the whole thing as an unhealthy coping mechanism - her being avoidant of emotionally inconvenient truths is something we see popping up more than once, so this being an extension of that tendency would make sense. When I am feeling more cynical, however, I tend towards thinking this is just an excuse to indulge in shocking imagery that generates clicks without ever having to actually commit to upsetting readers by sinking *or* canonizing incest ship. My best guess is that the truth is somewhere in the middle but it must be stressed that this is just my thoughts and I have no idea what goes on in Akasaka's brain.

Anyway this is just a long and rambly way of saying "word". Regardless of what direction the story takes AquRuby, I just want the story to finally fucking commit to something instead of chickening out every time it gears up to do so.

[subarashiihibi]

may 4th aka my beautiful wife’s bday and the izaya getting stabbed anni... erm erm erm i dunno wat to say without sounding corny and cheesy but i love him very much...i’ve loved him for nearly 7yrs atp and no other character has even come close to meaning as much as he does to me he changed my life the trajectory of it all he rewrote everything in there!!!!! so now i’m even more annoying than i was before 2016. 

but seriously silly jokes aside he is the best thing ever to have happened to me omfg... i am always 100% genuine when i say he is the most beautiful existence on this planet or as i say in japanese 我が嫁なんて美しい存在 (^□^)♡

ok sorry im going to stop pretending im like really deep and smart with my words i love izaya so much i want to kill myself by jumping off of a cliff there. thats how i describe my love. 

theres some mindless rambling abt my setup and stuff under the cut if u want to read it ^_^

this stupid shrine was a bitch to put up but it’s fitting considering izaya is the biggest bitch in all of tokyo LOL. i almost ran out of room on the walls i got lucky i had space on the couch for some of the stuff ehe. i would have posted this like earlier in the day but i had my time to prepare for izaya day cut into by my job so here we are at nearly the end of the day ! i just got a few of these things yesterday too so i was like barely just in time💀

i was gna get ootoro today but i forgot haha... and i was supposed to drink my bottle of champagne too but i forgot to put it in thr fridge... i’ll do it tmrw ... ok thats all i have to say.  here r some pics to celebrate izaya bday

[danrifics]

i know we say this all the goddamn time but seriously, there’s no denying it now. and they’re not denying it either. absolutely no one like dan and phil would buy a whole ass house (and design it together, mind you) together and just be “best pals”, like they are both people who talk about sex and relationships in a way that is obvious that is something they’re interested in. i know there are people out there that happen to be single and decide to just move in with their friend but that makes no sense in dan and phil’s case. they both have enough money to have their own place, and imagine how awkward it would be to be dating someone else and them having to go to their house and eventually meet the other person like that would be awkward as fuck… especially with everything they’ve got together like i don’t think another person could ever beat what dan and phil have with each other. they’ve had so many opportunities to have gone their separate ways and still work with each other if they wanted sooooo. especially during the hiatus like they had p much no joint content at all. atp them being together makes way more sense than the opposite now. (sorry am just rambling feel free to not reply lol)

i don’t need to add anything you’ve got it all right there!!

[aliicante]

okay bad bitches we did it we made it through the indian wells round of 32! some thoughts on the upcoming matches:

also these are not technical notes i do not have the capacity to do that just yet i'm just rambling don't take it too seriously LOL

atp

lehečka/tsitsipas — you all know i want jiri to win this but i fear it is not happening and my boy is getting beaten down first thing in the morning. then again i haven't been watching stef lately so idk how he's playing but it feel silly to hold out any real hope

maroszan/alcaraz — carlitos straight to the qfs please Next

z****v/de minaur — okay listen i know their h2h isn't great but alex does have the most recent win over the rat (davis cup), not to mention he's been playing absolute lights-out full-dark no-stars tennis lately. like we have a chance. it's slim and i know this match is going to do terrible things to my heart rate but We Have A Chance

shelton/sinner — the main event! i'm not going to lie i am genuinely more interested to see how this goes than in who wins... ben being the only person still in the tournament to have beaten jannik AT ALL recently. this one's going to be a good one i'm excited

ruud/monfils — casper is looking in better shape but monfils is always something of a wild card... lowkey i will be happy no matter how this one turns out i just hope both teams have fun [heart]

nardi/paul — i'm mad at tommy paul for defeating ugo humbert even though i'm still mad at ugo humbert for deafeating daniil in dubai Whatever. luca nardi indian wells champion 2024

fritz/rune — okay listennn i have to support fritz as a fellow californian at the california tournament but also i think rune tennis is some of the silliest shit available as entertainment to the people. i could go either way on this one

medvedev/dimitrov — of course i'm rooting for daniil but this one should also be fun to watch

wta

potapova/paolini — jasmine paolini indian wells champion 2024 Next question

pavlyuchenkova/kostyuk — i am not kostyuk's biggest fan i fear

kerber/wozniacki — throwback match... honestly the fact that we get to see this as a r16 matchup in 2024 is kind of crazy (positive) i am quite looking forward to watching this one

światek/putintseva — listen on any other day i'd say iga's taking it but the last time she was in a wta 1000 she got knocked out fairly unexpectedly.... i do not know enough about putintseva to really say anything though so i could also just be loud and wrong

parry/sakkari — maria sakkari my icon my good friend... please avenge leylah for me thank you

mertens/gauff — coco 🔛🔝

yuan/kasatkina — i'm hoping for either dasha or jasmine to win the whole thing ngl so i fear i am on her side for this one

navarro/sabalenka — i like emma navarro but i am quite sure sabalenka is taking it

[favoure]

Sorry if you got this asked before but I'm so in love with your artwork, how did you get so good at anatomy and posing? I struggle a lot with it.

omg HI TY TY !!!! uuuhm tbh it was mainly 4 things for me: using irl pics as ref, using my artgods' art as ref, obsessing over proportions until it becomes second nature to you fr, and 3d models or posing apps .... [some examples and entire ramblings under the cut i got carried away AGH]

using irl pics as reference - i literally go on pinterest n combine several photos 2 get the pose i want, [or when it comes to hands i take pics of my own lol] i usually browse through magazine photoshoots or pics of statues n find stuff with cool poses .... this also applies to other stuff rlly like for clothing folds i would pick out parts that would look and feel right and interpret it in my own wayyy

find an artist with a Banger sense of anatomy n use their stuff as reference - bonus points if ur artgods have a semi realistic style n ur already obsessed with their stuff like Seriously the other half of my ref photos are other ppl's art and i would copy the way they draw certain things - i also actively observe How they draw these certain things like "oh this is actually in a triangle shape" or "oh theres a bump here and its followed by a straightish line" and i am mindful of these, i make sure to remember them even just the tiniest change bc that's still an improvement yk a different way of thinking abt something - love these accs for anatomy [tomfoxdraws, taco1704, kato_anatomy], this artist is great at simplifying their ref but still keeping it dynamic and flowy [UTWP_], and this acc for more general tips but with timelapses so u can see how they go about drawing something [KawaiiSensei_jp] <- theres also some anatomy stuff there toooo also SORRY literally 4/5 of these accs are in japanese or korean i just look at stuff n think about it no need to read :sob:

study up on proportions n figure out ways 2 simplify stuff using basic shapes - thanking my 12 year old self for being so nitpicky abt proportions like, i used to "measure" the length of the limbs and from doing that i learned how a bunch of stuff works like halfway point of the torso is also where elbows are, hands end midthigh, thigh usually as long as torso etcetc and since i got so used to "measuring" these it's just muscle memory for me atp, its all about the observations ur honor - for simplifying stuff its like, breaking something down to its basic shapes like how the hand can be a square or a triangle with a bunch of circles or cylinders attached to it, how the torso can be a rectangle circle or triangle depending on the body type etcetc - once again its actively observing and keeping what u learned in mind and doing it over and over again until it Sticks and u can change stuff n improve on it as u learn more about it

3d models / posing apps - literally only just started using these. a month or two ago ??? but i find these Very useful for when i have Such a specific pose in mind or when im too lazy to find or take ref pics WOOPS i also use irl ref pics when posing my 3d model btw im not That lazy KJSDFSDF

oh and i watched jjba and that singlehandedly made me like muscles and want to study how to draw them help there's that too ig ..... I HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS MAKES SENSE ITS ALL JUST MOSTLY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE HOPE THIS HELPS !!!!!!!!

[sugars-fluffy-escapes]

Your stuff is so cute !! //// Do you have any ler Eddie headcanons for a reader with a ticklish waist & hips?

🫢 OH BOI DO I EVER AGAHHASHHSJRNF /lh

Ramble under the cut 🥴 Spoilers for ST4

Jumping right into the hcs, if he's ever got his hands or even just one resting on your waist or hips, he's doing the thing he does in the gif above 🫢 He's gonna just casually drum his fingers on the ticklish spots and pretend he doesn't know that it's flustering you (he knows. bastard <3).

Don't ever listen to the song "Hip To Be Square" around him cause he'll tickle your hips every time the song says the word "hip" 💀 He's cheesy LMFAO (I know the song came out after he died but I am fully ignoring canon in that regard atp. On this blog, Eddie Munson is alive and well because the Duffer brothers suck /lh)

Fully expect hip and waist tickles if you two are snuggling. Eddie Munson is the type to tickle you as he's reading a fantasy novel out loud for "immersion purposes." You know he's gonna use the dramatic voices like he did when reading that bogus article claiming D&D is satanic (satanic panic pisses me off so much istg- but I digress) and when he was narrating during the D&D campaign, AND when he said "there shall be no more retreating from Eddie, the banished" (😭 sweet bby boi the hellish town of Hawkins didn't deserve a cinnamon roll like you 🥺💖)

He also loves to silently sneak up behind you, and cackle or yell something ridiculous as he tickles your waist or squeezes your hips and he will continue laughing when he sees you jump five feet in the damn air.

^ Feral. I love him.

If you have a ticklish waist, do not wear a crop top around this man- You'll be greeted by tickly fingers and ice cold rings /lh /hj

AND OF COURSE- he's gonna play guitar riffs on your waist. One of his personal favorites to use on someone with a ticklish waist is the guitar solo from Crazy Train 😳 If you squirm too much he's starting the solo over 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️ He takes guitar very seriously, and he's no different with guitar-centered tickle tactics HAHSJSJDJFJFJG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lee mood I am in for Edward "the ler" Munson rn 💀⚰️🏃🏽‍♀️ /lh /pos

Thank you so so much for this, anon!!! Eddie's so fun to write about AHSHSHDHDHE 🥴😖 /gen /pos

[yther]

not sleeping or eating well and then exhaustion in high temps wearing my dark jacket layer (yes dumb but I burn xtra cwispy) was so dumb.

rambling braindead vent below, mentally fried

I walked on a bad injury and I should have been more responsible and it's frustrating when the anxious energy + excitement equated to:

I drank at a water fountain for 2 minutes after walking uhhhhhhhhh at least 10miles in full sun 90's F, no proper prep, or rests on my leg after a big knee ouch day before last. Then I did another several hour night walk (at least 5 more miles? lotsa confused circles and backtracking) through the pain and got so lost in the dark but I tried I tried I really did, and I think other ppl tried to help

(part of my penance/punishment? even so, I actively chose that.. full Dip mode and I don't regret it)

and idk if it actually matters but I really want people to know I didn't mean to fail objective or willingly choose being Actually Too Stupid or malicious teehee No Care or something. I am so sorry for everything

I did a bad self-care and it's bad timing socially because my dumb ass Tried Way Too Hard and I don't know if certain people know that I...

I really really really pushed it and I wouldn't undo things; I just know it might give a wrong impression. Beyond tired, I was elated to burn through every ATP molecule running around the town in laps, and feel...free?

but it was not smart and that's on me

and now I should really rest rest my leg, and for longer now so... feels bad man

I am awake frustrated with myself for... everything kinda. Because I know better and it's my adult body that I'm ultimately responsible for!

but I chose to ignore that and lean into recklessness/pride, like I needed to prove to myself that I could be 110% fit & healthy me again overnight, if I just went full motivation and believed it hard enough. and like my dog I really couldn't feel the pain at first because of elated sunny vibes until it was a seriously Bad Ouch to walk situation (joints, not healthy exercise pains, or even the heat sick)

I just want people to know I really tried, even if that's supposed to be embarrassing! I want everyone to know I have no sense of direction and I really really really really tried my best. And I am a shitty friend for lots of reasons but today/yesterday was not on purpose at all and I'm sorry if I messed something up. I'm really sorry

I wanted to get in the game, whatever the game was

[heller-castiel]

hello it is me the binge reader of your fics!! just read ken doll and,,, wow. a lot of meaningful symbolism there and gah im such a sucker for a good dean coming out fic!! the entire thing felt so real ?? like the dialogue was so easy to picture and ,,, dean’s closet jokes ?? this man loves shitty gay jokes. very good very good. jo and dean’s interactions ??? dean being like whatt i only play with jos barbies because it irritates her but then hes like ,,, yeah,,, ken doll,,,,

to conclude my ramblings i will be reading the rest of your acc when i get time (busy week but i am committed to this) and was wondering if you would like me to put all of this in the comments section as well as here ? like i know some people like the increased comment count and i am very willing to be one of those people that disects the entire fic in the comments section. if you would like that lmk i am in love with your writing and would do anything atp

hello!!

i love the cock ring ken doll i fully believe gay dean should have one! also i’m glad you like the dialogue!! ken doll is probably the fluffiest piece i have on ao3 (for now) and it was so nice to write something that didn’t give me brainworms :)) thank you so much for reading !!!

i honestly don’t mind that you’re not commenting on the fic, i like getting asks too and to be honest, this feels more like a one on one conversation? if that makes sense? and take your time going through them, seriously there’s no pressure from my end

[starglitterz]

i see the simping on dash and i am loving it >:)

I AM WILLING TO LISTEN TO UR SIMPING PLS SHARE

MISHA MISHA MISHA OFMFKWKKSKQKDW HI ILY HRU ?? <3 and omfg im sorry for all the simping youre witnessing 🥲 im just absolutely LOSING it over here AFHJSF

and why are u enabling me babe 😭 but i will take advantage of it thank u for encouraging me 🤭

OK SO HEIZOU IS LIKE SO... ?@("*×(£*@ bro is ethereal. stunning. gorgeous. "traveller, you are so dreamy" BE FR RN I WILL KISS YOU ON THE MOUTH ‼️ i can imagine him as like the type of guy who listens rlly intently to whatever you're saying especially if you're rambling abt something you're interested in and when you're like 'why are u staring at me like that' he just looks at you 100% seriously and says 'you just look really attractive when talking' FUCKKKDKEJFJWKSK also if you're having friendly banter or whatever he def kisses you to shut you up or smth and then goes 'haha i win' AND he's the type of guy to be like 'where whatever u want ik how to fight' whem yall are going out AND he would be so down to wear matching outfits w you . . . is this ooc or not i have no clue atp i am just Thinking Thoughts. ( he winks whenever he catches you staring at him too I HATE HIM!!!!!! )

and xiao. wow. my darling beloved scrunkle scrimblo blorbo. this mf has not left my brain for two whole years Please i need help atp. i just keep thinking abt him in diff aus rn like especially roommate au ☹️ imagine walking in on xiao playing the electric guitar, like he's leaning back on his bed with his shirt lifted up just enough for you to catch a peek of his torso and his eyes are laser focused on playing and his fingers are dancing up and down the frets playing a familiar tune (think the riff from do i wanna know or the bridge from whyd you only call me when ur high HE IS SO HOT HELPVKEKFKE) or xiao accidentally walking in on you changing and holy shit he's so embarrassed and he apologises like a million times and he can't meet your eyes for the next few days but he also can't get the image of your bare back out of his mind WJJEJDIWKDKWJD IM GETTING SO FLUSTERED WRITIGN THIS AOMFKSKRKE I NEED TO SHUT UP NOW

[kimbap-r0ll]

hi hii requesting for a twisted wonderland match up!!^^

i’m an enfj scorpio though i believe i lean a bit more to the ambivert side. i do know how to socialize especially when needed (like in events and stuff) but i don’t necessarily love it. i just get overwhelmed easily so i prefer keeping things lowkey

which i find a bit contradicting because i have the tendency to present myself in a way that would give most people a good impression of me so i get to their good side😭. cause of that, i appear reliable which i don’t mind cause i do love helping them but it could get pretty tiring sometimes. overall, in every friend group i am in, i’m always the “mom of the group”. a bit weird but rather than craving academic validation, i crave people’s dependability on me. i always get chosen to lead groups, activities, and events so at times when i’m not, i feel like i no longer am a reliable person. though i guess because of the pandemic, my will to help and guide has slowly disappeared so now i’m just really quiet☠️

i tend to be cautious of how i act towards others especially if i’m not close with them, i wouldn’t want my image to be stained. though i find that a bit hard due to my short-temper. i don’t like repeating myself thrice, i hate when i feel like my authority isn’t being put to good use if people don’t listen, i dislike when things don’t go the way i wanted and planned them to be.

as i’m writing this, i have made a realization just how easily i get swayed by my emotions. when provoked, i say or do things absentmindedly and cry out of frustration . otherwise, i prefer thinking first before i act (because… image..☹️). it’s a bit hypocrite of me to dislike huge reactions from others because it tends to be awkward for me but then i, myself, could and would cause such fuss when upset.

idek if this would help i feel like i’m just rambling atp im so sorry but since i’ve been into a relationship already, i have realized a few things about me: i live for reassurance 🥲. like, i understand if my s/o would be gone for a few hours— DAYS even but please do reassure me AND make sure to make up to the time they were gone because i’d seriously be so upset😭. i love a perfect balance between exchanging of romantic words and then some playful banters and teasings. just not too much cause again, i dislike when huge reactions/emotions are stirred (but i suppose the sudden urge to just shower each other with love isn’t bad. i would love it in fact. i guess it can get a little overboard if done too much). i also love giving and/or receiving even the little things as a gift cause it shows that they’re thinking about me randomly throughout the day (that’s so… cheesy oh my god—)

i’m the type of person who’d go in a state of panic if i don’t have major plans about my future so i would love someone who also set goals. it’s okay for me to change some minor things along the way as long as the major goal is achieved. as for hobbies, i switch interests quite a lot and the only person who can keep up with me is my bsf☠️. so someone who doesn’t judge and also show interests towards the things i like would be mwaaah (and i’d do the same for them too, of course!)

i think… i need to stop now—😭 BUT IF YOU ACTUALLY DO THIS ONE THEN THANK YOU SO MUCH! i wish for your blog to grow bigger some time in the future and may your hard work pay off! stay safe~🫶🏻

Hi! Thank you so much for the support! There’s a lot of characters from twst that I think would go really well for you, but the best match I think for you would be…

Jade

If you need someone who is understanding but also is good at teasing, this mans got it all. He’s the type of person to be completely fine no matter what kinds of hobbies and interests you have, and I feel like this stems from his own hobbies. Jade loves the mountains and he likes mushrooms, things I’m sure merfolk judge him for. He doesn’t want you to feel any of that, and he actually likes it when people have different interests. He might ask you to teach him some of your hobbies actually, since he’s always been interested in human culture.

You set goals? Great! He wants someone who is prepared and has plans since he’s like that too. He’s sort of like a mom for the Octavinelle trio, similar to your position in your friend groups. He likes how you are able to lead and present yourself in events well, since he’s similar. Like you, he doesn’t like staying in large crowded places or having to talk a lot, so you guys share a similar vibe. If anything, he admires how you prepared you are for situations and how independent you are.

Speaking of independence however, he will definitely reassure you whenever he can. He’s busy with mostro lounge because of Azul and Floyd, but he’s the type to definitely make up the time he lost with you. He probably wants to keep close with you at all times too honestly, there’s a lot of times where he’ll text you in the middle of the day to ask what you’re doing. He might surprise you if he’s been missing for a day or two by showing up with a gift or so. Overall you don’t have to worry about this guy going MIA anytime soon. Right, speaking of gifts he loves doing that! You will get all kinds of things ranging from cool shells he’s found when back home to mushrooms that lowkey look poisonous! He probably thinks he’s not the best at things like pda for forms of love language, so he sticks to words and gift-giving instead. Thus you two have have matching vibes!

Jade will also listen to you if you have any frustrating days. He might feel like a therapist sometimes since he’ll listen to you no matter how large or small the frustration is haha. He’s also the type to offer advice if he can, and he’ll support you through anything. If it was someone that made you feel upset however, expect the person to get a “kind” visit from the eel.

He’s good at teasing. Like, really good. If you ever start a romantic banter or if you ever decide to flirtatious with him, you’ll be the one in a flustered mess. He loves seeing you blush and melt honestly, but he won’t push you too far to the point where you get upset. He’s good at keeping boundaries!

Overall the two of you are so cute together, expect Floyd to show up sometimes and tease you about it (he really likes having you around too!).

[what-if-nct]

Hey bestie hows it going?? Put down the monster and drink some fkn water!! Love youuuu 💗💗💗

Okay cool im here to talk about the most parasocial relationship ive ever been in and how its not even my fault. im fighting for my life here but these dudes, the one man in particular, seem to be just as down bad as the fans and its so ssick.

Listen ive been a kpop fan for a long time i am fully aware that half the deal is that theyre selling me something unhealthy for everyone involved but these damn kids!! And that man christopher specifically, seem to be buying into it just as much as stays are meant to.

Like are we even delulu atp?? Cos every single one of them is on some other shit when it comes to communicating with us. And they gave felix that damn lollipop and ive never wanted to be a plushie bear more in my whole entire life. Like yes please i want seungmin to ride me round in his little bike basket omfg.

im just ranting and rambling here cos i am Not Okay (i promise) but like. Theres no escape but how tf do i survive??

Good news I havent had a monster in weeks. I did have two different energy drinks two days ago cause they didn't have my favorite monster flavors but I drink lots of water. So....I'm doing better??

And seriouslyyy, like you try to be a level headed realistic adult person. Like I'm not going to fall into the trap. Nice try though. Then they just suck you in and you just allow the delusion to take over. Especially Christopher! Like how are we not suppose to fall in love when he's just like THAT. I respect Doyoung, Minho and Kyungsoo for shutting it down though. But the other ones. Again Especially Chris, like how am not going to feel a connection after he hugs the camera and is literally the most comforting person ever. Hyunjin brings me so much peace. I thinks it's cool as long is you're aware and see it as fun and you don't take it too seriously. The fact that we know it's unhealthy keeps us away from the edge. Like I'll joke Chris & Johnny are my husbands, Yuta & Jungwoo's my boyfriends and Hyunjin and Yeonjun are my secret boyfriends. But it's just joking around as long as the idea of them not being your boyfriend doesn't make you irrationally angry to the point you send any woman in their vicinity death threats. We're not delusional just playing along. Like to fans who do things like "saving yourself for your bias" that's mad fucking weird and if you're over 14 please go out and meet people and live your life outside of kpop. Also they just let Felix have a pony tail and be shirtless. What was the reason?! what was the reason?! And Hyunjin doing the tongue thing. Like and Jeongin! The lip piercing! And Chan's nose ring!! Are you kidding me! Honestly it was an unprovoked attack.

[yeehawvamp]

i’ve been so eek about my feelings having a name n not rlly sure how or if i should even do anything about it at this point. i cant tell if i like him or i just like the attention he gives me but also like not anyone can say they like my voice n it give me butterflies so idk !! it also doesnt matter cuz he’s straight so i need to just get over it. im also sleep deprived and dwelling om everything under the sun so maybe i shouldnt take myself so seriously. im just rambling atp but i rlly do think not dating in my teens put me at a disadvantage bc why tf am i tripping over something as silly as this arghhhh