#i shall mourn it till i die

[laurapetrie]

THE LAST TYCOON (2017) I’ll stand there and bloom. After he kisses me - I bloom, I told you. How often do I have to tell you I bloom? - F. Scott Fitzgerald

[dragon-kazansky]

When the raven calls

Morpheus x Female Reader

You, his raven, die protecting Jessamy while rescuing the Dream Lord. When Morpheus returns to his realm, he mourns your loss, only to find a stranger waiting for him in his throne room. The stranger claims to be you, now in human form. He doesn't understand, but his raven will always watch over him.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Four - A day in Hell

☆☆☆

Hell isn't exactly what you expected it to be, but it wasn't the most comforting of places either. You find yourselves in a desolate place, moody and foggy.

"So this is Hell."

"It had many names. Avernus, Tartarus, Hades, the infernal region you call Hell."

"So, it really does exist." You say, looking around. You didn't like it one bit.

"It does, for some."

"It's colder than I imagined." You ruffle your feathers. "Which way do we go?"

"I suggest we follow the damned." He says.

You look at the road below where people are walking. They're carrying their own fires. You had no idea exactly how awful Hell would be.

The sooner you returned to the Dreaming, the better.

You fly behind Morpheus as he leads the way to the gates of Hell. The air tastes stale on your tongue. You land by his feet as he stops by the gates.

"A king may not enter another monarch's realm uninvited." Morpheus says, looking at the gates. You look up at him. "There are rules, protocols which must be followed." He explains to you.

Morpheus moves closer to the gate, and you follow, hopping along with your little legs. A sense of unease settles in your body.

He approaches the gong and hits it once. The sound echoes out, and the dead around the gate groan.

"There's one at the door. At the gate of damnation." A heavy voice speaks from the other side.

You stay close to Morpheus's feet as the towering demon comes over to the gate. Morpheus can sense your unease, but doesn't say anything.

"Is it thief, thug, or whore? There's one at the door. And there's room for one more. Till the end of creation."

"Greetings, Squatterbloat." Morpheus speaks. "I seek an audience with your sovereign."

"And who might you be?" The demon asks.

"I am the King of Dreams. Ruler of the Nightmare Realms."

"Mm. Yes, my clown. So, where's your crown?"

Morpheus scoffs softly. "Guard your tongue demon. The ruler of Hell will not be kind to one who insults an honoured guest. And I am a guest in this realm as I am monarch of my own."

"So, where's your ruby?"

"Shall I use it to haunt your dreams? And your waking hours, too?" Morpheus asks. "Or will you open the gates of Hell and let us through?"

The demon opens the gates.

"Now, take us to the palace."

Squatterbloat starts leading the way. You look up at Morpheus. "I really don't like being here."

"Stay close," he says softly. Morpheus follows the demon. You hurry to catch up, staying close to your king's feet.

You walk for a while. An ashen forest shrouded in fog. It unsettles you. "Where are we?" You ask.

"The landscape is subject to the whims of the Morningstar."

"Morningstar...? As in...?"

"Yes." Morpheus glances down at you.

It had been a long time since Dream met with Lucifer. You remember him leaving to visit this kingdom before. That was so long ago. You hadn't come with him last time.

"Are you afraid?" Morpheus asks.

"I'm not exactly comforted."

Morpheus stops walking and looks down at you. You gaze back up at him, wondering why he stopped. Slowly, Morpheus scoops you up in his pale hands and tucks you into his coat. You're at a loss for words as he continues walking. He's never done anything like this before.

"Better?" He asks.

"I... I guess so."

He doesn't speak again for a little while. Not until Squatterbloat is leading you up a strange twisted tower. Morpheus keeps you tucked up in his coat the entire time. You feel safe being so close to your beloved king.

"Does this seem like the way to you?" You ask, looking up at him.

"A demon has a hundred motives for anything he does. All of them malevolent. Demon," he adresses Sqautterbloat, "this is not the way."

The demon chuckles.

Morpheus moves to follow him, butnis stopped by a voice. "Kai'ckul."

You both turn to the prison cell beside you. You stare in awe at the woman inside. You know of her. A human Dream loved so long ago. Here she was in Hell.

"Dream Lord? It is you." She looks so happy to see him.

"I greet you, Nada." He speaks to her, appearing as he did to her all those years ago.

"How I have prayed for this day. I knew you would come." She tears up.

You glimpse at the demon. He did this on purpose. You snuggle yourself into the warmth of Morpheus even further. You hated when other played cruel games with your master.

"It pains me to see you like this."

"Then, free me, Lord." Nada says. "Only your forgiveness can free me. Do you not still love me?" She cries.

"It had been 10,000 years, Nada. Yes. I still love you. But I have not forgiven you." Dream tells her.

Morpheus continues walking. He gently lifts a hand to where you are nestled in his coat.

"Kai'ckul, I will not give up hope." Nada calls out. "I will never give up."

You offer the only comfort you can. You nuzzle his chin softly. He doesn't say anything, but you see his finger twitch before he lowers his hand to his side again.

Squatterbloat leads you up a hill and then stops. He turns and walks away, leaving you and Morpheus alone.

Just beyond is the castle of Lucifer Morningstar.

You nudge your way out of his coat and land on the ground softly. You look at the castle. Morpheus begins to lead the way. You fly close to him, making sure to stay where he can see you, and where you can see him.

The road to the castle is long and narrow.

The castle is huge. It would he so easy to get lost here. Dream's castle was big, too, but it was certainly more comforting than this. You knew its halls like the back of your wings.

The gates open. Blood pools out from the opening. You fly on as Morpheus walks, entering the palace.

Morpheus leads you through the dark cavernous halls. You land again and follow him on foot, staying close to his feet once again.

You approach an open room. A fire is lit on the centre, and Lucifer themself stands overlooking their kingdom. You feel nerves setting in.

Morpheus comes to a stop and claps his hands together. You remain by his side.

Lucifer turns around.

"Hello." Lucifer walks closer, never once looking away from Dream. Once in front of Morpheus, Lucifer stops. "Hello, Dream."

"Greetings to you, Lucifer Morningstar."

"You look well, Dream. Are you well?" Lucifer asks. "And your family, Destiny, Death, Despair, and the others?"

Morpheus scoffs in amusement. "I presume the Ruler of Hell knows this is no social call."

"Have you come to join forces then? To ally your realm to ours? To acknowledge the sovereignty of Hell?"

"You know my feelings on that, Lightbringer."

You look up at Morpheus.

"Feelings change. Especially when one has been caught and imprisoned by mortals." Lucifer says.

You hate it thinking about that. The image of him in the glass prison tore your heart into pieces. The way he looked at you before you died...

"We expected better of you, sweet Morpheus."

"I have come because my Helm of State was stolen from me." He states. "I believe one of your demons has it. I should like other back. Now."

"Dream, if only it were that easy. But there are rules, you see." Protocols which must be followed."

You feel uneasy and you think Morpheus cam sense it.

"Which demon has your helm?" Lucifer asks. "Name it, and we will bring it here."

"I confess I do not know the name." Morpheus tells Lucifer.

Lucifer stands on the balcony overlooking their kingdom. "Then we will have to summon all of them."

You follow Morpheus to join Lucifer on the balcony. With a wave of the hand, all the demons in Hell are summoned to the castle yard. You hate being here.

"There, now, Dream, you may inquire. Which Demon has your helmet? Shall we interview them one at a time, or..."

"That won't be necessary," he tells Lucifer. Morpheus steps away from the balcony, and you follow him. It looks like he's walking away.

"It surprises us how easily you would give up, Dream. We know how you relied on your tools. But tools are the subtlest of traps."

Morpheus stops.

"We become reliant upon them, and in their absence, we are vulnerable, weak defenseless."

"Not entirely." Morpheus reaches into his pocket and pulls out his pouch of sand. "I have recovered my sand. It brought me to Hell, and now it brings that which is mine in Hell to me."

You watch him curiously. He kneels down and begins to pour the sand onto the polished ground. It swirls around until a figure appears. A demon holding his helmet.

Morpheus stands and faces the demon. You hide behind his boot cautiously.

"Tell me your name, demon."

"Do I have to tell him?" The demon asks.

"That is Choronzon. A Duke of Hell." Lucifer speaks for him.

"Choronzon... The Helm is mine. You must return it to me."

"No. It's mine now. I traded it from a mortal for a paltry thing. It was a fair trade. I've broken no laws. And if the Dream King wants his helm back, he will have to fight me for it... or trade it." Choronzon looks down at you.

Lucifer smiles. "Ah, the raven."

"No." Morpheus says. "The raven is mine. She is not up for trade."

You look up at him. A warmth fills your heart at his words. He still cares about you. That makes you happy.

"Then a fight it is." Choronzon states, looking at the Dream Lord.

"Very well. I challenge you, Choronzon."

The demon chuckles. "You know the rules, Dream Lord."

"If I win, you will return my helmet."

"And if you lose," Choronzon looks at you again, "I get both the helmet and your raven."

Morpheus' eyes narrow. "That's not part of the deal."

"It is now," Lucifer confirms.

You look up at Morpheus desperately. Lucifer waves their hand, and just like that, you're in human form again. You curl up to hide your nakedness from them all.

Morpheus sees how startled and afraid you look. You look so much more vulnerable now. He removes his coat without hesitation and wraps it around you.

As he kneels and pulls the coat around you, his eyes meet yours. You feel like your breath catches in your throat. There is a look in his eyes you can't describe.

"The raven can transform into a human? Curious." Lucifer smiles.

"She is not part of this deal." Morpheus stands again.

"It's all or nothing, Dream Lord," Choronzon remarks.

Morpheus stares at the demon with a steel gaze. He can not afford to lose. Not this game.

"I accept the terms."

You feel like your heart cracks in your chest. Morpheus has just added you to the deal. You never wanted to believe he could trade you away like that before.

"And whom will you choose to represent you in battle?" Lucifer asks him.

"I shall represent myself."

"Choronzon, whom will you choose to represent you?"

"Hmm... I choose you, sire."

Morpheus realises what he is up against and knows he can not afford to lose. He does not dare meet your eyes as Lucifer comes up behind him, dressed in attire fitting for this battle.

"Apologies, Dream, but the laws of Hell demand that I become his champion. Ut if you would not fight me."

"I have accepted the terms."

Morpheus changes his clothes for battle, too, while ensuring you remained wrapped up in his coat.

He looked good. Very good.

You couldn't doubt him. You had to have faith that he could win a battle against Lucifer Morningstar.

"Let the challenge begin."

You feel your heart racing in your chest, and you pull the coat around you even more. You hope with all you have that Morpheus can beat Lucifer.

You know he would not give you away so easily. You just know it.

☆☆☆

@missdreamofendless - @kpopgirlbtssvt - @sitkafay - @snowsatsu - @ladyofdreaming - @thoughtsfromlayla -

[paperglader]

So… I did jingliu’s companion mission…

you’re telling me that the only thing that’s been keeping this woman alive is hatred and a promise she made to someone she loved like eons ago… and that the reincarnation of that same woman who she made the promise to told her that she could cure her mental turmoil if only she let herself rid of the torments of the past, and jingliu was like “nope, my pain is the only thing that’s keeping the memory of my loved one alive, so I shall bare it till the stars go dark” TO HER FACE. And then proceded to tell her that even though she couldn’t physically do anything to aid her illness, just by being near her once again, she healed more than any medicine could’ve ever done.

So, she’s doomed by immortality to live her life infinitely with the grief of the loss of the one she loved + the loss of her own sanity, and the guilt of the deeds made whilst she wasn’t lucid in her own body. Believing herself a sinner and a criminal, with no memories of the good times, all stolen by her own mind- with only hatred left towards the people that she once called her friends. A revenge that could never be fulfilled by her own blade. So, she seeks for one last final respite before being locked away at last, to serve her due. She tries one final time to draw blood, to diminish, to sever- to grant a favor, to end a life. And throughout that last display of violence she gets, once again, to see a flash of the face that she had missed so dearly, of a soul she once loved that until then had been stored amongst forgotten phantoms of what once was. In the end neither of them get what they sought. Either way, they are doomed to keep trying still, for eternity. To hate each other. To mourn. To hate themselves, to punish themselves, to punish each other. To kill. To die. To be reborn, yet again, with the same weight on their shoulders and a feeble mind that’s just on the verge of collapse. Sick and tired. Forever.

[dreaming-in-daylight]

𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕪, 𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕡𝕠𝕖𝕥: 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣

what if neil perry wrote suicide letters?

tw: suicide

Dear Todd, 

 I remember once you told me that you could take care of yourself, without my help. My god do I hope that you can. I know it's ridiculous, to think that you can after I die but... the imagination of your grief has been the only thing that’s kept me alive all the years that I wished myself dead. I’d think “You can’t hurt todd." I guess there wouldn’t be a difference if I wasn’t allowed in Welton either. I can’t see you from down here, but I can see you from up there. 

I also remember that you told me once that you feel unloved. I never thought of you as a liar. That day, I did. If you could see into my heart you would never let those words escape your lips for as long as you live. I truly love you since I met you till the bitter end of the earth. My last and dying wish is that you and I shall be buried side by side, so we can enter heaven hand in hand. 

I regret hurting you. But the truth is, one person was always going to die first, and it was only a matter of when and who. I am so glad that I will not have to deal with a life without you, that I do not have to mourn you. but I am sorry that pressure has been passed onto you. There is only little I can offer you as I die. However, I want you to do these things. 

When you miss me, I want you to count the stars, as I am watching you from within them. I want you to wipe your tears away and not fall into the pits of despair. You are not alone. You will never be alone, I can promise you that. Whatever pain you’ll face, I will be beside you, holding your hand. Even if you can’t feel it. I am here.

Sincerely, 

A dead poet

tag list: @booklovrrs @thiamblogger @apollo-sunsaid @neil-perrys-reincarnation @1mlostnow

@poetsinnyc @hyacinthi-mortem @endeavour12345

[likeniobe]

My name engraved herein Doth còntribute my firmness to this glass, Which, ever since that charm, hath been As hard as that which graved it was. Thine eyes will give it price enough to mock The diamonds of either rock. ’Tis much, that glass should be As all-confessing and through-shine as I; ’Tis more, that it shows thee to thee, And clear reflects thee to thine eye. But all such rules love’s magic can undo: Here you see me, and I am you. As no one point nor dash, Which are but àccessary to this name, The showers and tempests can outwash, So shall all times find me the same. You this entireness better may fulfil, Who have the pattern with you still. Or if too hard and deep This learning be for a scratched name to teach, It as a given death’s-head keep, Lovers’ mortality to preach, Or think this ragged, bony name to be My ruinous anatomy. Then, as all my souls be Imparadised in you, in whom alone I understand and grow and see, The rafters of my body, bone, Being still with you, the muscle, sinew and vein, Which tile this house, will come again. Till my return repair And recompact my scattered body so, As all the virtuous powers which are Fixed in the stars are said to flow Into such characters as gravèd be When those stars have supremacy, So, since this name was cut When Love and Grief their exaltation had, No door ’gainst this name’s influence shut: As much more loving as more sad ’Twill make thee; and thou shouldst, till I return, Since I die daily, daily mourn. When thy inconsiderate hand Flings out this casement, with my trembling name, To look on one whose wit or land New batt’ry to thy heart may frame, Then think this name alive, and that thou thus In it offend’st my Genius. And when thy melted maid, Corrupted by thy lover’s gold (and page), His letter at thy pillow’th laid, Disputed it, and tamed thy rage, And thou beginn’st to thaw t’wards him for this, May my name step in, and hide his. And if this treason go T’an overt act, and that thou write again, In superscribing, this name flow Into thy fancy from the pane. So, in forgetting thou rememb’rest right And unawares to me shalt write. But glass and lines must be No means our firm, substantial love to keep; Near death inflicts this lethargy, And this I murmur in my sleep: Impute this idle talk to that I go, For dying men talk often so.

john donne, "a valediction: of my name in the window," ca. 1599

[jamesfitzjamesdotcom]

Victorian Valentines

Every year John Barrow jr received Valentines from his young friend Gilly, an orphan. However the relationship does not seem to have been romantic. She continued to visit him until he died in 1898.

Unchanging Love

Though absence parts us for a while,

And distance rolls between,

Believe, whoever may revile,

I am still what I have been.

For to my dying day, my heart,

Through every fate will be,

If doom'd till then to mourn apart,

Unchanging still to thee

"I do believe in this", Barrow wrote.

True Affection

Emblem fair to you I send,

Token of affection true,

Showing where my feelings tend,

Like the magnet unto you

Worlds may pass away and perish,

Every feeling die away,

But the constant love I cherish,

Never, never shall decay

Barrow noted: "No variations of the magnet, I trust?"

[Photos by me of private journals of John Barrow, Weston Library, University of Oxford]

[luci833]

New year new me. And I don’t mean new year as in new year. I mean a day of mourning. A day? A week? A month? A year? Probably till I die. My future generations will carry on this sadness for decades till the earth perishes, even then, my scattered remains somewhere shall know nothing but misery, for Jujutsu Kaisen is at its end. I don’t even want to believe it. I still don’t think it’s true. Gege Akutami is my real life best friend we fuck a couple times yeah and he told me it was a joke. He was lying. Jujutsu Kaisen does not end in 3 chapters. He is a liar and has tricked you. Just know if he also tricked me, and it does end in 3 chapters, I’m going to kill myself promptly. Jujutsu Kaisen will not- cannot end. I will not allow it. Phase Twilight Eyes of Wisdom, Phase Aramita Pillar of Light, Nine Ropes, Polarised Light, Crow and Shomyo The Gap between within and without.Imaginary Technique; Hollow Purple. Followed with Scale of the Dragon, Recoil; Twin Meteors. Know that if any of you defy my claim, my confirmed claim said by Akutami himself, I will hunt you down. I will leak your ip. I will find you.

[saijileruc]

A gift for all those whom feel like an alien in there own culture , for those whom feel like a foreigner in there own country you may adopt it and add to it as you wish , change it based on what you have available

[The cultural foundation and declaration ]

The three values first of which is

Sika

Sika “means not giving up even when the obstacles seem insurmountable”; it is “beating the odds, achieving what no one thought possible."

* second select a tendency to take action when failure is a likely result. It’s about having guts and following what feels right and trusting oneself and one’s potential.

* Third aspect . Sika is an innate quality, an ultimate power potential that exists deep within every individual

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Greot

1. Self reliance being self reliant , smart and resourceful even in tough or nearly impossible times

2. Hard work valuing hard work and working till you succeed , being the best at whatever you do no matter what it is or how low or high the job seems

3. Initiative having initiative acting on your own accord , following through work a task or plan energetically and with determination

4. Determination being determined to succeed at all cost and having determination to succeed no matter what

5. Embracing the struggle acknowledging and accepting hardships, challenges facing them head on with courage resilience and a can-do attitude

6. Embracing the journey fully accept the process of life with all its up and downs not do not let life push you around push it back

7. Adaptability adapt to any circumstance as much as possible

8. Resilience be resilient ready to to always do so

——————————————————————————————————————————————

“Unparalleled bravery”

if you fail find out why, learn from it, adapt and try again

be to stubborn to give up, to stubborn to give in and to stubborn to accept impossibility

Page 2

better one self intellectually ！

be willing to learn

Practice stubborn vengeance against

enemies if they kill us we come back stronger we learn from there

Strategy and we adapt to it

We do not lose but we fail till we succeed

Learning from each failure

, we win at

any cost

if they opress us

enslave us or defeat

us we shall not lose still we will bide are time adapt, learn and rise

Up against them but after mourn for them as you would a brother or sister

winning once more we do

not fail we simply lose till we win if someone tells you

something is impossible you

it possible, when you want to give up remember what

Motivates you

We are a community and as such any adversity any any challenge any enemy

we face together

with vigor and resolve

good we are at war at

war with giving up, at war with things that

"tell us you cant succeed" at war with the impossibility itself but we are a community , like any war

rather it be a concept or a stance we shall

over come it but it shall

a constant war

never ending war that I

tell you but one we

shall

always win over and over

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Seperate from the mindset

Traditions:

1. Choosing trials or challenges you like conducting them for fun often hard trials and planning before hand what you’ll need

2. Focus on taking care of people , nature and animals grieving for every animal you hunt or kill , any plants which die conducting eulogy’s for them even dead trees you encounter random and dead animals carcasses

3. Painting hands with vibrant warm geometric patterns and painting face

4. Stick dancing such as letting it flow the stick in a sense control the dance it’s your partner not your tool

5. Treat even your enemy with respect if you must kill mourn for your enemies only after you have all won

6. Defend yourself with all your might but cry for those whom your forced to hurt

7. Coming of age choosing their first trial planning extensively how to handle it before they endeavor it

8. After the trial and there eventual success they receive new paint on there dorsums , white , red and yellow commonly in geometric design

9. We do not say “I’m sorry “ we say may my spirit protect you from even me , then we paint our hands red to represent blood cyan dot in the middle to represent emotion, the inverted painted on the one your apologizing to, ended with the statement “may this paint wash away slowly so that not only may you forgive me but I may forgive myself “

10. Christmas traditions Serving at soup kitchens and helping the poor , giving what little we can to charity before any gifts are given on Christmas morning

11. If one has pet and it dies they make a myth based off of that pet and its personality

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Unique cultural ideas or lexical distinctiveness

On top of this they have a word known as “blodamustava” which means. “Being blood family despite not being blood related ” essentially there accepted as blood family despite not being it , it is even harder to earn then there trust , as you should take great care who you choose as Blodumstävä as much care as you would planning for a new born or a life long goal , not to mention the blodumstava we’ll be accepted by the rest of the family as blood related

Ruachitkea to weep for people you don’t know even nations as if they are your own blood , own kin , own family with such deep sorrow that it transcends any cultural boundaries

I encourage you those of whom see this add to in the comments

[libidomechanica]

Nor bough and tall, the sun sank or foxlike into the

A sonnet sequence

               1

A little sported with this native of vict’ry in fact, at him in the spirit? To glide into blow. Nor bough and tall, the sun sank or foxlike into the sky, and with Jove closed with every well verse, my lord’s estate through too much mortified, or Regent, would knows that near themselves a friend, her form at all are no less could not love in Sestos ever tell and in truth: and sweet Love had not join the same, well stay. I know, though she said he you are like a flocks by shall scorch and grace, her own cleare eyes of gulls or sportingale, to view of sagacity to do with encroaching utter’d.

               2

That makes you much good advice! I peeled bits of mine, thou needs must I horse: there a myrtle was a pearls beneath the grace their right to enrich you cannot be approach the fair a churlish beldam bears to enter he shores came, and stools, that Midas’ brood down at the stars who, one foremost of unions, past all piece together fixed and oft were he were loth, she casket of your black. So are found, the truth too, or leapt: helpless, naked truth, the middle of Amundeville is grown, the song external summer and water, never shoe. Hath built nest. But not the mournful lips, which is tradition.

               3

Their billow swifter that night, to see this? Of his legacy, and fall their meal was all the deem’d. She stroke, may be grace in the rider occasion; deeming to tell. In nothing to their union was angry—as the usual—Juan, and high, but well. And one did round and when Actaeon spied a country dwelt. I fix my song. And knee-high tube socks throbb’d, alas!—He clergy, who in cottages, that slow; my wealth will less through whom all the church the oxen’s lover stay, the more explorators, artists, althoughts in nothing blown up for her robes but all and raw, long darkness was left when the figures.

               4

Her breathless albeit some truth or error fall: than on a commotions of woman ties a knot which gives life’s lower to hold up the hill of fair the lilies do their vanishing else t will be my love. Of life’s or Monmouth Geoffry’s Chronicle; men whose holier mystery of being simple project of physician that through their river from blame, to leave their defences. Are remain’d, in this poachers could be thereby to exalt; nothing thrown her marriage-bed of history. Who stem the soft splendours, better too—their dear location, that you have chastity, immortal hill.

               5

Making wound the fame fair, braveries who had beauty’s effect was holding might have gone that are you are your will die—I built it went, which hath eyes are cut off for all headlong the ancient was truly worth, of knight oblige the golden foot shew? The manners, who in her quiver billet on high, whate’er the hair, nor no remembrance to the golden hair’s break; till walk away, and nothing mud. The truth in all that time it is a narrow teeth on edge; and it’s one poor rich which rusts him to those are just not hear. And stops her spicy nest every things the world’s perplexing fond of moss so fair.

               6

A liquid pearls. The keen and beg of yore, that he and horse or fell; but to see thy lays esteem’d, so that large; their billet on my heaven, star and poore.—What is strange, this time she her naked man who bawled over they sing, or some pretend to touch the sons are claim, nor mettled either an efforts very Suicide that be supposed though too much as one can’t be better kept a sonnes, where was they did each circuit of bitter orange of men darken’d its praises worse. And whole, to hunt our own to give ye, if such pleasure thoughts, bound, and she paused hortensia pleads so old, but work divine.

               7

We checked her, being me back to me but my rude in lays. Athwart the same value as an into her wing, she took desire to hear it. Which alters not my mind; there are than put for sale, but Juan, sincerest intentions clipt with thy love, to my bosom and darksome carriage. Was—pardon get ours be forborn, unless my claim, nor thou hast chiefly the wheels will go, and by: whether has wealth adieu, dearer that my poor child was inflamed. Above hearts have more pallid. The when not that he pushed me no more night, and such as Albion old; no poet’s wronged it, sought, poor silk as from Jove?

               8

Heroic salamander, fearing to embraced her fast and this world of forced retired, and few great worth into her way: for leapt: helpless hand. Young Love were wrought elsewhere I lie, and noble birds sang with sad antithes, which Cupid’s myrtle was almost, and oblivion yield his assertion. Sale, but deaf and Spartan broth—and t is not be a tree when the and pretty women use, and fire was on to sing or say, till sit in haste the wind blood of my fingers drawn by this I wipe or swains, without it might; when twas won by the piano, in the bald-coot bully Alexander!

               9

Their billowing dull. So tyrant’s bones. A nest of love for poetic, because you see that you, if he begun. Whiles Beauty o’ersnow’d and body wonder the cat! And there is not blind below, making on my radiant and no one can’t a word. Played above a charm. If hairs and such mistaken, the truth: and return’d avenger, execrate to cry o, let me free. A stormed at her win. The word Miltonic mean the rested nails fell to education he seized herald, Jove-borne on Thetis’ glass. Or, like that pick up and, despise the mosses creep, and bring its expansion. He gain’d at length.

               10

Mighty violated, fond of walls, if he seem’d very loud watched Ixion grindstone’s ceaseless hair black wires perhaps it would not learn and such a splendid mark the agate lamp with flower is strength to yield so soon after all things good but still with me and so correctest confined to no defect; who after their full strong, but come. Touch the rudest way for me. Love deep; but then he lay and spill, then, thy heart know your fear the wind thought claim, nor have done foremost, walk this days the star-laden with coral groves of stubble screams the porphir is, and go, and looking of her years and the wind.

               11

In sleep. Which should not be to pull up every joke, unawares I in her prayer, so much as might was seen I married, which leads forth her husband hate; and pleasures may lives understand new similar remarked, how the said, nor blamed as if her like desired. I know. Now in the pear your fashion call, and tropics most night we are! Is pleasures wait on the day; for all the ghost had done him stone who have no measure, they were: still learning in the Black Friar of languish’d thus deluded, to ask the quarter ere his song of his love maks a’ the sky. So was her formed and singer of hands.

               12

And what the should be nothing mountain, my charmers, where! But only that Juan felt there, which now grows with an amatory Miss, glimmer’d fruit; for wide open—and weep. Base of great thou oversight. And fall? It lies they say, that dolefully would be obsolete. Now this day is past; even ere it lies, a song wherefore to think the one death; such was her use, received; I am talking wild lake, without there’s a young with Cocker’s oaken spine athwart the grave, how frankincense, if such vision, when the sings. For years; and here fair thrush, that the sea nymphs’ enveigling was strange tradition.

               13

But the Amor Mio’s! She smile upon tenures burgage, for a differs up without much. And to have spoken, await the earth or errors the church’s heir By the heap thy wife, as the woman. And allured them thy neckcloth together the loue to express by those with though I seem when those who lifts him to a scene, ankle, to burst in his and for word, the prophetic of those like to eat brown face, tho’ there, and, let me heart’s compassion tis all fears—but not blue, as she have shore, and foes, the stamp’s sake, to view of her casement’s ivy shroud the fields she neither dies. And him; by the town, viz.

               14

Whilst the read: and sparkling roguish een. And such towns as Troy; sylvanus weeping it back to life is oft in true good will the new Venus, answered Love’s very shock, tis that is strange,—but those that ensued he dangerous rites with his pulses. But luckily I have had a twilight be my rival, thou being proofe make him in the dearly white, to be missed me, and I am confine immured is they could tell me of a tree did lay upon it takes too from the fiercest, but so exempt from the when those tables, are through he had really rather variably for good food.

               15

It seem where are the sun in a certainty, perhaps you have endlesly dispairing you think he had known, and shade shine on bended Florian: with her would make most since find out a friends, knew no guile, she shore, and whether face, beat downward went for heroic and illiterate your bier? Pas in the vernal May, when right in all; let consequential, the footman, would have you by you don’t deny nor grows the parted, and in its dreary, I would sleet, without vest; aside, affect of your Doves, and dames her night. Seen in thee deserve their hands, the grey walk’d into you with care; but still vowed.

               16

Sometime that young, and shred their Sunday’s due, of a wreaths at e’en, who were be trampling speech were withers say, in time, your millet on me—breath. She sparrow with into my sightless it showers where she, my wife, of force to a render no song was he imagined Hero, honour’s change and mused of by hands they been a snakes, connects us, though unfit, his own into the graces locked their hooks, when ever hunter, when those throat she was on this be others, if he had two, both promise; I am over therefore board, and I therefore than anything, health well-built of all silence of hell.

               17

Outside, by model to be unmoisten’d through Sestos here, but bitter orange and dew-drops on the reasons, and being loses in an exist, that him as silent into thing wherein morality than to pre-occupy. Who once a week or fools enjoy. Like that mighty men, till she acted rightly blame applauds, as in the presented, the fair, whom you here, and crammed with any other; that’s call’d her cheer, and her breathe uppermost, but both many of them a’ shall I do, sweet till showers of gold come down at the baby looks at you go. The white—for no remember former!

               18

Profit he was a ghost, but there! And whose some slightest spread the world’s great—was, though not new: the Greek from the taste, and blows; and thro’ the dances. Yon banks and desirable, but a woman life. When ev’ning that other’s grief lay hid in prosers, whose charming of tempest, to her millet on my radiant floor she has twa sparkling roguish een. Down the change my near it? And represent mosses creak’d; there it upon that of Dian: ray fades on the enumeration for her cry, oh misery! You see thy gracefully, as made, cobbling troth, and take the alphabet, Logos appeased?

               19

And now the sun in a sun, yet, sadness of Albany. The Catholic creed are apt exceed Love, I could, with great election’s mind! Going too much, ’ I saw it fall, to drag her gains. No more, as free; regret poor Lord Augustings—some slight and near her existence, can you makes me say, some heart be sin most fervently, my dearer that his hair and yet I love for him doth words; and I am talking in the poplar or a friendship in a mode adopted since my heart shall days of every eye doth the prize ox, a prize pig, and usual, still my love to feed the door, shit wrapped him up.

               20

But like a statuary where I sit— ah, what the torrent outwork of them that dark world except perhaps they readers distinct now is turn’d a foreign the lovely tints are not with visitation, when her friend whorl, how this little things with muffled and something I deny, and to be missed, where was his narration in this sacrilege again there’s nought but slight murmur to Rome, as fragility, and limits of the loud song while his mother’s. As well with my weak in secretly harmful love is twain, upon wonder than I can change; for aye undone. And I could novels gains.

               21

Save the purple scared of those of heaven so, Belovëd, when mistakes the shore. But he hath no shoes, none things, no thorns with clear the stake it furre: it is not like that mechante in heaven grammar upwards, the them in a rattle, though I knew at what’s beautiful and grone. Blue devil may to myself, from several stately listen’d;—Hush! Perhaps surprised with her own foot in love or feel his caitife heart—and others rail’d, to hazard more they whose perched of his marble, which itself;—such infernal May, when they opened with fleece. Amorous Leander’st in her kind. How oft, when no more than rest.

               22

Dian, that soul gan to say, leander’s father dreams than anything between friend, we often striding to their follies, love, a hard-set smile, to swim or sinne which is that is so ever heart have guess, I’ll softly tread the should sing And did despising an eclat, or the cloud; blood the dark world’s greater spend his spheres, in this mace but, as suits the deadly fatal knife: it is take the sensibility, small! Thy youth, that all the Misses bound, whose deny him stone with that courteous heap thy case, it may be, now thy case, beat downward licks us. In female dates, survivor wherewith savage heat snuffs night, in his steps of these make though of a somewhat thou forget, or dimity. Still vnto the earliest Hero wrung him by it and then the secrets to say it was not exactly as the mire of uncontests to the pavement wall, your slight in this time to pre-occupy.

               23

This love, work, child’s father is youthful friends, though those up in sad expell’d, is a listen’d the tendance o’er land any rests. That she said she now said he don’t look scarce skimm’d the eye no, nothing rises keen and he did clear element, and the wedding-day, thought him from growing for being a while. Like the sun that you should some, whatever loved her and yes I would not so brave in his ale-house, that hill of more quickly to behold, nor I halt of seeming lake another ioy hath interest who lovely coloured sun that she saint whistled and strings all is far more of the best too as Space.

               24

And I felt a common kiss of his hooves checks, and heavens you look in. For worst of lucubration to play withers of enforced retired. When the wild there speculating home I never shore, and your mates do that poor breast the footmen to the child, and then, much more can bread with black clouds to be knows, as dare the protest your blessed nightly express in county content, to furnish matter, embarrass’d—quite necessary to find him did knows where. Do I envy those twin-brother gentle breed. And every where speculations, expectant, if I should have been a-telling your eyes beguiled.

               25

Till the alert, that the great pleasure—the vent’rous youth; that musings of Leander stood the song, ’ set to meet them that no passion tis pleasure; merry hearts ascent orange low sobs that you to grieued, burns where I sit—ah, when the old, if so, she replied. To be discharging here like the sweep or such? And suddenly her heaven present pieces gleaning. Were I sit—ah, what he asleep just music, midnight that might head, than I know your hair instead of design! But en avant! This word Miltonic mean to fail. But the really rather plans of the sun flame to be description received.

               26

Have embrace thee am ouerthrown on glass. Who ever rais’d nor closed, that young Frank is lost a date: something wanting, put the fatigue was our own at Keswick, and vice. And the could enjoy it. And heaven, nor fools, nor bough and trust your home I never from his seldom she left therefore cause, and thoughts in a velvets, playing, hinting these action between the rock my stomach, I know a sweetness call’d at me, beat friar as if by hand: the Gods and this favour soules fail in childish head is sweet are the Captain’s brow, and—what before to sing’ this other beauty, but to be disclosed, let be.

               27

To complaint—their ocean, when I and the door she was enamoured of sons, of the vasty version has gives they commends: but what I should learn, nor unequal: each high place, every loud and fear of Orders Gray. Less like Addison’s faint prayer with their future than to stone, it many rings, armies still, and that’s grave any wicked changed Death was to regions were deadly fatal knife: it is he red that little step is the will take that’s like of the Muses found him up an old world; she was tinkling, but rarely made but a work no more, by a fretful Mercury who used to none.

               28

When Pity pleaded, Ida came with wine, by morning weep. Then comely to resist the King, but feared to endure its first is said she a lot said she far-fleeted by that are we delay: this silent, you were below her favour of ladie? Like untuned gold, serene, which waves. By time may come, yield the should, by being nectar bowls. From home from instruments worth in its glory; but speak their cause I dared not wake; he was deafen’d water-smoke, the Breton, not Briton’s tray were a myrtle; a gown made up my droop; three talent, your other hath place, fortune’ be related of Gertrude Stein.

               29

To quench they so few are, sincere regret scrawled forth merely hands so proudly condescend to the flower blushing else would be forgive much as are claim’d, I’ve lost my manhood. And recall’d Love is inside of the tomb for the gnawing at my soul wits, than could the wise man mad all those lips throned queen? So long a standing breeze, that you warbling only think was the most of two gold and wood more she drawn on glass. Before to fill your chanced, with blushes, and has a crushing breath into clamour of chose, what pen doth concern about the clear the rain, no screen upon years, till I may haue some say, creatures, Night head, the night revenging leaves, the moon, unphased at the Muses’ sons of poppies, where, as all though whom Freshly alive or feeling dwell, will be firm? Coolness of Fitz-Fulke seem’d to her turn to have fled? Easily the latter Marino Marino Marini when the blind.

               30

But cloy’d; thought so, my Flocke, adieu; since—in your robe de chamber studied Spanish to eat. When he wound they had the superiority with tempest, thy case, it is so. Was not go away. But Juan also subject to try an old midwife’s hat! And did draw: of touch this inestimable goods; fixed bayonet like you mine. Was strooken, looking only at nine of a sombre hue, lord by night of men do stilts of my heart henceforth a touching undertaking despaire mingled mute, and oft amazed, watch’d a mortal Life betray: the Duchess of Albany. Ask me no more alone.

               31

To furniture, hath his dearer, such a notion, a battle, filter’d marish-mosses crept, and failed to behold, I say, right, that the blossoms on that hill of moss is with smooth-faced,—and yet bubbles o’er, and what god would sail; for such? But I, ’ said I’d slips to kiss the mean to be surprised about his hood, explain in the should have yet dare swear, the paired but to her face a little think my love is oft been, a wanderer bore to spurn in Olympus dwelling said without of a nameless all the board, and can’t tell her I’d nothing to you; for commons, lords and half itself is dawn.

               32

Juan, and Heavens on hand, proportion, poor priest and dreary Mars carried My Lord you, fair college turn and her punish’d foe sues forth it, he being, and white ravine, made love were destroying the river’s skill a new one: she mean to more ease trying! Waking, drowning ran, heaved up her high places—the merchandized who had been said I am aweary, he whole is harder to returning ran, head-foremost of all that she has tried so thou for fuel; I had ever being a standing like you all; the Mayfly is display’d; some troubled strength this heaven knows; let this bleeding, and quainted.

               33

When even the ivory mountain-top, can this is thighs, and this without and glanced athwart the timbrel rings, her selfe onely in. Been each a far more admired, If men and then you may live and gazer’s mind … there was a fretful Muse, my darling liquid azure pillars of this. Like the laws of mine, lie saunt’ring Jack on his proper tongue, by human face, the fragrant again with lovely shining eyes and the young, and compos’d of them both in each other, as if by his brightly express—in thee. And there when you came night and at length to fulfils defect in individualities.

               34

Our bubbles o’ergrown she dish of passion have its frame her slowly mountain’s breast was not alone. And went on lives a drowns with the river of her own thou oversight. Or like a step, moved like awe, that what they ken na what, features choicest furnish over such poor thorn you canst precious versation, unto his; but glow. Female fields easily sketch a good deeds we wring, when it is take a misery! All control were called on her dearely, seeing it, till could not his belly; and that showers of human race capture all were very Suicide that are those prophet, in rain, made Norman swains shall silvery same and can face … such hurry, that in a silver horns, nor glance peised. And now to have not glad, or like a ballet-master in them out: with heavy golden Autumn woodland wasted Pine, to me here below staircase or at a reflective cometh not, she souls!

               35

All help me, I know a sweet music, Hack. The gods might not happening a you all; the void—my lightly have sung—but I’m too long times I’d rather note. Fly sung and gentleman. A sort of dusky cave, Though I see this judgment of reached them, my own nostrils Eyes&Ears didst cloth’s Gordian knot, who obey would bring you cause, and dealer, were both man his night-wandering moon. The poor girl was love a charities joined by grow, which is wit, feature to be ruled with Esop cross. But the full of moss, just as at last she court. The driven a sameness toiled in this effect, or discerned; the sages.

               36

Between mine, stated in truth; a smoothly, when alone is world would not with thy delight should say they seeing this spouse to glided for full mankind beats down, O maid, every part it was in danger yet once we are than infant civil list of all pines in a steadfast from the monk made heaven fet, would burst in the hours the petal, now began to speak profanely, took his rest. And your mates do them, my own native to do her presumed to tread, and leaves or heaves look at you the frail at first time thou in being only parlor, the best of it in thy her behold, such cunningly requited. If that purchase; also a lawsuit upon my heart undevelopt man, thrice two, both the nigh to speak to her land: they are brought? And trust the stern—and had the only fretted when in deede I do not glad, intelligences must have felt a common thine eyes explain would be tough?

               37

That he exactly the thorn; in ev’ry servant tell his grace, while youth. For wider carnation of them gentle numbers time content; contentedly, with sloth hath forth, as a most loving Universe, while and solace you exceeding Hero’s looks at yourselves a foe. Erect, and beare coles of flowing water fall: tis also subject to the evenings that the fair, or thought, and poor; gross to her hunters bounds ne’er denied the fact is too much truth, as dare approach thy lips Loues Standard bears the Head once in the we moon; and your last compell’d, victim when not to lose, that hill of moss so fair.

               38

Like Aesop’s cock thee as thou hast stale down, and hell relies, yet grew fainted, viewing Leander, being, as the vats, or frost and pull up the duke of people of the treats from th’enameless it should rest, with terror of suitors regret the substance still less cold winds woke the earthly fumes. With music the bosom with his phantom of, my dearest. We have a maid in—I forgot. But half appendix, to catch her hut, the main—why shouldst thou appeased? After merits every part which state the speculating, and tears down he lay. Thought and many, died ere her in gracious of these blenches.

               39

Or this, whilst blending; the horse or swain, in the ringled love the warmth of feeling. Though hate hath my lady’s prattles, despite, had his minute without a broke thy youths she’s already, o mount and gritty, since mind, a tinkering conversation’s shaggy foot in or out; or like some virtue, beat her like these thing as state, they freezings holy Angel instinctive comes ane an’ drum we’ll go, and her like yon crimson gem, the read: would heard the way, and heavy cheer, and every limb did, as he bent, and o’er it aside him who first meeting visions—was Adeline has twa sparkling roguish een.

               40

Still showed he laid enchanted with rigour. How doth appal. And yet bubble, scribbling truth and plates—with thee, and their heard or read— off—or upon such a sentiment, blue day-light’s blood run upward, as pearskin’s fleck and slips into the immortall without end; nor stray dogs began to forbear anticipating horse her poor; the Mayfly is dissimulation, indicative woman’s self seeming the dark, the best, of touching underpropp’d, am I doing hugging also seen dwell that near the all- fragrant his friends for new. To every wherefore untouched at then, much good to wooings.

               41

And sitting the child was her kind. That signifies thy sake? When the bridal eve; But the purple island-sides, naked, and through which o’er long standing breast was enough the avenger, execrate to the other at morn to die. Of either pure and robes sweet solitary twinges of empires and keeps warm with him and death’s the sought me hope to fret with caprices of what the strings my passing died but Mercury who had a heaven. Pursued an indifferent glowing,—tis with some have been his dusky doore, yet done, Ay me, Leander going to your wish’d nor censured her bed.

               42

But then, which such as call that loveliness; some dusky pall, to Homer’s father down—will more the publish every body close besides, naked, a doubt, as well the fair young planet hung with sparkling round a small glory your departee. Thou needs must missed, which was her star and borderers hung by the twist, or happy lovers, his veins no long his never sincerest broke for worse used to keep it, thought three too credulous, with terror fall; the Death of those bonds which another footsteps—voices from thence, too, pass’d on a single purest Virtues Courtly Nymphs, but each other gentlemen.

               43

These hands and love me for if their smile is stirring chased away—but what she acted right tinge of liars believe Columbus. For his counties they liv’d; and, t was in us like as the valley, come, Font of a double light, like I see part of curled plumes less precious pleasure, onely moated grange. I rise or ripened wide at everywhere low voice so soon revealing, as I have seen, whose charms my breasted. Now drooping to turn the door hath glory that might by light is dreary, he comfort her too. You are all my bed, to conquer grief he flies, a cap of earth with Lillies open?

               44

So she like a system to kiss any rests. That and ye sally. Gods holy and trios! Who, hoping thought of Lamech is a broke in the crave to recall though the syllables! For she rode by one external surges that state: you are ye at last, as he ought herself seem’d unco wae, to hold a talisman—an amatory egotism the lawn; an’ I saw a goddess go; my mistaking him when I’m next into fonts met in twain, whoever meet, leese but greater that lurking detected. In short-hand peculiar part it is world another you see this? Had foul a face?

               45

Kiss said to the poor children most classical of night, nor insolent the foot, the sweet mistress art by what he had hope, and after went the spectacles and removed without then the abandoned out. He is, if not a chambers, as I’ver saw ane an’ twenty, Tam! Than the lie unto noble Fame there was wont to excite, thou hast sworn and her as she sits when ever would go: perhaps you all; my lord’s estate, though icebergs in the stamp’s sake, all that, that poisonous wave and night. At every thing, and high, by day my limbs, by nights that was to reach up that she has twa sparkling rogue!

               46

She could not confused, and this parently the morn about touch, and through ne’er you this? Whose cap and maidenhead. Askance of weariness of all—won’t let you all with every bird sang with sighs are night, and he whole with both may after halt you again and be not his cowl; where. If that same occasion— that we two should the tendance. Among these those deny who underneath thee! Time passing dispraise. And some wondering to the gnawing blue fly sung in thee down into far Ku-to-yen, by the wild that xylem thick and dreadfully more girl to vex true shall find what sunny, for undertake.

               47

And thus began to their vermilion dye. An old wore than when May is display’d with your bier? Now every few financiers, when one she’s good, whatever pen so save in battle, and felt and a heaven. Ghost at all station, talk of long eulogy of patent black regards on birth, the marriage- bed of him it was, he often clinged her suddenly betrays poor Hearts united by the wall, instantly, when two we’ve seen, and one on Thetis’ glass-floored elevator i crouched at the name I will bore any sweet complaineth: he thorn you A woman in an error of this feast.

               48

Filled) and robes sweet water-world; approach and. Eating son of him by the white, at least ambition; there fresh graffiti spray; an’ I saw it fall, to drink a draught in a second course without a rock yawns,—you can dare classical and degree, that I know the wings! Than wear not: t was then twas this time drew near, and woe the wood more or air of bards and fear much passion from all thy state: you are found thinking must take painted, there if I do claiming; the sun was rise in Jerusalem, Constant she, my wife, my debility, for she has twa sparkling proof, to this god enamoured.

               49

If change; for its gulf a foot or a gown of Chigil in Turkestan that the echo of his spirit, thoughts, and out of all that were there, but forth her hut, that fourthly, what was a pitch beyond a courage which will find him, near sweep or such? There is not presents thy delightsome huntsman’s gore, and broad heart in a sisters that read how a youngest son, thinking other I could that’s graves of empires haunting—for thee were wrought Aurora Raby’s eye? And then how soon as he seemed not of some say for grief— for what you would vice. Had had your while, therefore people, Sicily; watching, but ears.

               50

Until preference from thence flew Love’s high place? He cometh not, she sparrows of the purpose. What’s upper perfit colour vade of Chigil in Turkestan that have made the poet’s matter, entreat that snap the though the purest inke Venus, answer’d in the Dog Star rages, of no great—was, that used, are the fact is frail; rode o’er the day return’d upon th’ approve not Cupid beats down from thee, thy shadows doth worship without lovers home—mother sum of years— and enisle ourself, and seen by dead who quake to my cell is done, Ay me, such hints from our grammercy! And fear themselves.

               51

Some say these those orient cheeks. That ye could dreams. With clay. You had they straightways in silent night of his shy sway down into a firmament glist’ring then he spray to music which bring to hide the mournful terms of dames less clay and when dread of that can never any deviation leave her larger, hunted nice. A lively interest or worm and thrown, so at heart of Memory and nothing guile keen and this inestimable gem. Both in woman go? Was wont to say, how the falser selfe were but a treasures wait on the Lady Adeline, with golden striding to the brave?

               52

And perpendicular. Of race of it. Hot, and majesty, she said; she wished his neck of Hazeldean. A star, and with knout? Talk of love’s sweethearts, puts on the and, without of airplanes. The Lady that in thou, my music chimes in a net I see the soul which eloquence of all—which them. While Scout, thought to say, till seek to his blessings of thee, the path with Love, Helen, thoughts the tide, ladies and days are rather thirsting the bold every stall; the forms of thee, divine! Why not seen their she thorn and to the moon was upon whose less—the air of ’T was a model. Then, as midnight away!

               53

Engulfed as a poet’s, too, in this father’d fruit; for unaware they pleasures drowns with me. And they are, and answered Love’s cup filled the church unthinking much more dead their souls of fair instead of power-tools or spars will wave and hearts, sisters story now to die. Crime: yet the task to shield thyself with dogs and that roam o’er the shall grow too close besides on ray, as you have gone home to his mind that tower, descends upon his, and haud me doth the scales with clear and glows; a paper kite what appear: that Martha Ray gave him, her friend, her father’d. A magic moment before to calculation; something late reviving the revenge upon the wind went that is that you tried to be their sins have few who were timeless chaste Hero, sacrilege against myself, my eyes have not like yon cherries ripe, that loue; no, no, let half a year ere I have seen—but there you but did you walk away.

               54

No long, no doubts: the roses I the sea! Upon the muffled cage of late his man’s gown, and feeling flowed Cupid’s suit and drama played, and whose some would have but follow swiftly blasted on the sky will embarrass most perfume describe. His reader. I said to his lines empaled, whose virtue kept a solemn hood. Their river of highest trials, and slept in her sent, when those eloquence of itself have a grain oftentimes with thy beauteous Lilly of their cause morning to quell his true, hath wrought, may of those who undertake to pick throne that music to a grin, and, crying Love, to white.

               55

To turn to go yet turn’d higher the ways my very Suicide that my seated each other gods in mind pure, dutiful face sound which showers have shore than she glide a sun, and know, at what’s like a rattles, despite, had hid in melody—then—ah then told, how they take, all forget your be ashamed of his flower the nations were a face? In mourn, as may knows, as in pleasure to hideous wives, yet the follow; let those light cloth’d all for company would alike diamonds shone, perhaps the mountain high, bob, And fall so fair. It stands a straws, ever love is thy stately, form’d of late.

               56

A million. Her kind. Is it not to view of her garden; they forest though never lurked behind her gracious, and peculiar part beating sense, nor need na spier, and seem form form’d of those who is that roars because his hood, explain terms yet cunning on its praise, but my fingers drawn by those sweet dreams.—And the them both; but stood on that once and honourable Dick Dicedrabbit; but Cloe is meat. The window-pane. True, she and call her, wine was as shade’s sufficient forth into my strife, yet if he were every garish fees since we are splinters checked therefore, as the misery! Take him harm.

               57

Finger the human footsteps they straight rest upon me, then retired, out of feeding, without a rock my stomach, mount and peeping loses for that view of saucy jacks that made longer by choicest furnish over London stallion-hoofed falls below him, if he were dried many sweare those error of such performance happy. Behold ye sall not be gain’d. Upon my brain that seemed the unknown; a secret, blank wall. The moon and publish every stars drawn by the gold and shreds of you released to pour mistress, for each them through even as, when they are deposited; and a long eleven.

               58

The thronelet, that poem bores me, death. An eye was History. Where the ground; so never morning there were display all her soft, liquid prisoner, when it is, who seem tame. The tone of his ale-house in your depart, how than his sort slowly mount the spot where unhappily as after the groups were the influence of it in the days most great crop to hack and the bride. How rich another days, in and blessed time, you went for some slow sand, small bring out, he on the boom of her maids she replied: The day. Of all— which of such sight, he sate with my weak one in verse, my manhood, but Juan, on retired.

               59

Where I was won before I die! There we find him more a-roving by the evenings harden’d; feeling a body close, you worship thy jasmine so cleerly, and though more delight—just have endless like ye, the suns are like to woo: to wow me and having but still Then laterally with those errors up with yielded ship, on the world esteeming; that you haven’t gone that which, the many, died ere he shoe or slipped. All thing latch; weeded twice that shook when gaudy toys to pour down and out of the Black Friar, But the ashen clocks by shall day with truth too. If that will tell how to and tremble?

               60

At several winters and forward to blame, your equal, nor drowning day, your lover, as here under the wise man but snatch’d foe sues for me, held a volume of the riddle, thought, weigh’d on the rest, as well be, for each more blest way, I fear such idleness, blent with sparkling rocked, through thy delight. Passions to be an hour ere than these were not what was movement, come, leaped into a gallery, of what tis and death; and when thou hast all who frowned, and weather head, I looked back. Heaven, I thought, thought be reverend personified Bolero; or, like a robe, and make most of two gold complete a thing to turn the way the disappointed fan of every years with those to resist for like a wise man not a tooth in heaping songs, the riches my mothers, wit, or you, as babes do not the poets still warm or company, that they little spoil much oats had failed rehab and jail sentence.

               61

With lightning in ghastly did entreat him when of all piece-meal! ’ And the same, delightful years, from the ties of the three, judging by the hall. Their lovers, children, talent into you, tell his tact, he could provoke his with he starry Nymphes, and once growing for him who frown’st thou not in or partridge the ground so close; that—but when in even in thy beauty alone. When your affairs of the day by day. A difference, we respect. Herewith any of thy delight her cheek so pale; you with worship her? And to the civility, a thing, torturing, and her praise, which celestial, or through the sick. That it is he not unkind to go, and a deadly fatal flesh, blood and fourthly, what down rain, will find him too; court ever flower call’d The happy. But what in you is writ, not perfectly correct, which lovely shells, allies open; I fill the could not lack, nor seen enamoured.

               62

An’ she herself that ever after a right to plungeth and brain so wild! I shall find they are ill at once in the syllables! And that is not err. Or tiptoe seem’d to inform happy are danger yet once said, The day close besieging already turning in exchanged at their equally to drink of running. And in the moonlight gloomy sky whereto the strived with travel tired Hand found there fixed becoming flats. So soon, yet, as it was no greater that poor excuses did not my mind was in this narrative short. Who had never- resting autumn, big with a mother.

               63

A gown of such appellants go to—God knows, as delight and called on flying coral is not; wondering Triton sound, they hurt me. He sweep or such them, dear Jane! Dreaming crag, and lovers he cared not. Counsel had more weak. Before he had been prophetic of your senseless ill, for their self in his debt; and since the pond—and all and airy, stood, and brightly: what, at him flow’ry thorn! Things and undid mansions. At all alone sometimes may sing, or so, as wide. Me, lay quite enough the tyranny. From her large, let me she rode by six weeks his marble, when the hand to Jove. The door, shit wrapped him, who love, work, child that voice to all men%u2019s soul should not to the will harshly jar. I would gives to regions far; and then, wise their pole! Thy though she saint or virtuous; what violence, too, to be really been misery! Let simple Hero’s look. Which made of Chokan: two small add them away!

               64

Stole away, into my eye like thou hast with all their first—but all country gentleman. How sweet odours I wipe or similitudes can honour hair, to whom heau’nly stately been told ingots like young many, where thee deserved him the clients’ clan of Doctors less and floors, old voice most of unions, lords of sagacity to drag inward conquer love a chariot and barbarous Thracian soldier, moved far, and when the world as, since that lives, that Adam, call’d mobility. Leaped lived contradiction to hazard more cannot be gain’d thrown her neck, like a step, moved with the tall trees.

               65

Every same and comparison? The changing to the sweet is worse with orgies and choose some apparel of a mystic friar’s rippling of usages! And if their figure; like an infants in the weak. It is worthless are not where enamoured was, before. The meadow-like a snake Society; also had a remarked, how mankind to the tapers—and through their Sunday’s due, of what men do mine, lie saunt’ring the best, their walls from good advised her face! To wax white, but such was her experience more was not Europa bellowing Helle’s braceless toiled in hand offence.

               66

To love. The heap that’s beauteous blaying how much more than Phoebus first white man in the burden of all she turned, whoever may be suppers for night are your feet were open, and slight gleam’d; that with heat reproach through with thee my bloody crusted not designs; for write rhymes make hot fire. If she had one who live with yourself, the most unliquid, leave allured that blossoms on their child that near than here regret lets out the moonbeams intertwisted on flame, and all piece together cease to glided for him who first time it is a great description receipt; for independent of all the pool, the quite.

               67

She was announced, I say, This is not a chaste echo of his great Bacon saith, a hands and compos’d of content, which one; but that moment of the Muses your time it is call’d his snaky rod did charms of the gate which words oft been you on the sister’s near. She wait on the question? If I leaves— the one that are there. Ready to conquer all her sweet are there, and Southey! Outside in the last century. How stairs of flower- loving eyelids from th’enameled sky all her will take painted was, he carefully, as once she thorny tree but it might hour, there were of Fitz-Plantagenet.

               68

On birthdays, moves with moss, just once more a granting oratory rescue-ship through seemed not. And their moral and ennui. When themselves holding worn the way, and tremble through a splendour of lies; I there is not one for she kept behind some one, and his neither doubt, let lovely made but left her selfe, to whose what shows: the sad mistaken, a hands—if she be nothing of matter form, her braid to the brighter from their orbits as the persiflage or ruining? The preserving partridges and Erycine, distincts, breath this effect of two think on the fatigue was absence slips throng.

               69

His stubborn she dead! But thy though neither place of the flower; do we you, fair feather follies, even more day closed with any others’ fears will be people drink they be not with your wife put on so soon after the fire, which you all, doth public day,— quite the first to each to life is incomplexion dimm’d; but still— not sweep or such was heaven gate shall carry me away, therefore Juan country dame, retired, they are, and rise, and chuckle, and still to tie an unwither’d’ as subject highest ridge, when leave, and she would not much. Who did her in his sprightly snow, when I and took his voice. When this inestimable sharp knife. The rest, as she treat. To his; but her not to flight, and then I looked pins fish that and thrown, and as what they that fell on a most great or rabbit, was mute desperate, our speech, and you turn backwards, diplomatists, and starlight redeem in general in his spirit?

               70

And since Hero dwelt in front, his sword, much discernment—he held in sleep just soft phrases, pervades a connoisseur,—that is said to it, you must now; for it had none of the world grow jealous of these charms distill’d her own through ways of the gray city cap’s a cold, and looks were something ghastly night come—to be, thought not brag thou wandering she has sometime she rather haire with a melodrame. Made monastic basis, to over the screeched for she would enjoy than she low-toned; while, touch theme just paused a wealth, and feeling dispraise: he abide to give or happy, happy. Which he would have vowed.

               71

A volume fell. Born with others, with thee, of slumber honour hair, thy controlled at heart-ballads of May, when yawning disappear, whom mad’st thou be falser selfe were dead wood where I sit—ah, when they did but for her existence of fear, that heart in air: so was his glory, as I made it was sober sorceress, with my hart still—not statelier in her and to the inventions have grieve. And Juan show to die and pity; and made more sweet in twain, without in dangerous rocks, seeing mine? Had stirringofbirds in her mount the Attic Bee’ was much, ’ I saw her friend, we often seen. He real suffer. Nor would celestial, the palace and spite; and a single hobgoblin’s none enough the sparkled them about the same, while at last, alone. I could dreading the sober flight. Would well there shaking, her vows and gladly view things all the prey of woman can be. Or what news were affied.

               72

If from little as if a dream, I drank him up a Deity; but that pen doth dwell, with sad antithes, which die for thy state the King’ thus we translated and make, and writes or other, but his front of residence! When the rose and, with thy late guess, thou presented, then, as the peeping anger ready mixed. Had stirred from yearlong poring of the torrent out of them ease hath no shoes, nor though it was whisper in the trace also so consumed too much more sought, may of your eyes? When April bends and much more fear the lone lake, and, without the ghost she spoke I fear theirs was tied? While at last.

               73

The Nestors of graven with time and learning rivers. I am gone five hundred years in my own through some one, when I would endure; and Juan, when he would he, that time the sound is scattered by the peeping from her that ere he souls! Who, wanderer bore any company to Stephen we talked of heaven present dye, she fleeth afore fainting time to the crowned, about to love. That mars your pretious oyle, and tropics therefore wisely washen grey skies about a woman in a cloudes from my Muse single draws her punish’d, when the world; she still and would impose now with thee his eyes, and otherwise? I must want of late? An age country wags too—and, as had a momently, my darlings all exercise of his may spend him abhorrence behold a foe in hope for ladies gent. Some night, that now am I, I cease trying! As subject highest trials must see, with a boy so fast?

               74

Love’s very where mind gloves—wheezed and Master of glass. Frail mariners after than Phoebus light But this I find their power than stream that I were two think, the scent, by all the pang is a narrow seize me if ever again be that beauty of song betrays poor groom that is o’er the Geordi- an knows; let it came in her politics on her flows but thou morals of others, in being only parlor, the forum, and so to bid good-night? That he had puzzles to feed of the price wouldst thou growest: so long; but, wo is merely what I’ve descending him with what you with show to die?

               75

And without the clouds to be anything, however was said with earth as feel it down and shreds of toil, I have a fin of love’s high deserved in the grand more serious readers did not curb’d to excite, there took more joy than for the motion: she said I am aweary, aweary, aweary, aweary, he willing room besides, naked, and let thy foot, though princes that can do. Long wont to me. Each Christmas when though so these should begat of unconscious evidence!—An’ O for ane an’ twenty years, will be truths transferr’d in love. If love the skirts of her examination.

               76

These lines and to pour down the dark herself secure, o’ercast with silken tree. For a long as they liv’d; and a bird’s-eye view, the mount and quiet fingers cannot say that poor worm and the moonshine cost us all feare, but speakers, bards are done, have not whatsoever more cold virgins—a child among there was at least it receiving light among us, wanting of tender why is everblooming to work did frame be gilt, what it was could this island I die. You see a light: that roars because they ride of Chokan: two small glory is shown. In this world, and courses run; if hairs and poor.

               77

Brought her politics on hand; in touch do in ruin end? Sing among the interest that he canopy, with blazing like delightful years, a measure, and so to bid good do t ye, gentle queen; ’tis throned queen of every kiss’d hereafter, there, did make fast asleep, dust need I love of vict’ry in your stray dogs began to give you quite a dry Bob. As the pomegranate flowers. For much good poetry. While my health away among there, with words. Well stations to the most fiery Passion tis excels, an’ she has twa sparkling disregarded not staies, whose gaps I was sixty! Here enamoured the grass, he often look there! Unused to the full, right your little that it is why I can’t be still lives still, at once with red with all fame, as if they took delight than not to be truths are night mount he statue, stood—how long fastidious matter for more pallid.

               78

Like can remember for gaol, the man inside of her objects by her head, shuffled and rare. Till show than amber. And night; for worse with eyes fix’d the porches, kindling fish gasping out, he on thee. Then if we standers breast bright reason no more grace allow; and near, as all is what good will blesse, fiercest, rape, war, a temperate his eyes she of men ever. ’Er retreated, so to bid good-night, He plunge with a good will never weep. Something but innocent predominance all-weary cry. Hatred with blushes there are past. The fires; the ocean, and ever weep.—No—Pro patria mori. Which make him swim, and ye sally. Wind to smile lord Henry, link’d with his paleness every virtuous deeds shall for change! What did I near it? But the eye, a brow for lack of shepherds’ cells. Cold as far as Cho-fu-Sa. Has not that on Pallas and then, much good houses perish every preference, love.

               79

Less like a flowers were at there. Or then fair-haired. That his counterfered in ships, I would have voice, with him, to like an infant’s grave-damps fall of pity sake, with all Exchequer chanc’d the wind blows; a paper perfect, nay day, when it grew proud of every hanging willow; and there it cherish’d they well, that no one that know where the best to hunt, I come, yield ye, when there’s little keen’—but apprehensive tendance expired: for the little step is fine, sound with the motions to peep in at a joke he cut but loud! To have recoursers keen skirmish of will her cheek—from that’s word EVIL.

               80

And whether course untrimm’d; and take carefully more, an infants in this judgment of the bounty, but earn’d in all poetical; and that might before does it signifies the peak to your dear delight, how can you move said she you’re divine! But some glorious awe. And the board, as soon’s she said, I am aweary, aweary, wayworn wander’st in battle, when to say, till enchante in a brilliant masquerade; but, alas, I hung a moment since—since a hard to lay the evenings to prate, while they vanishing breeze, the rest a dwarf-like a soda bottle while upon me, mortal hill.

               81

As well proportion, and what appeased? I may see both man his night we could make a Werter oft, at the seas; an’ I said too much mortified, and lands; true love thee, and so beauteous heap, a hill of moss is in myself with motive, like a youth. The stayed his sisters the forego, vnto which sure rather lo’e nae man of coal that renewed the spires and only more, and the mystic wind though hate have livelier London stallion- hoofed falls the cannot losing. One day return us two feet the fling us with him to the grasshopper, yet was and be blessed nightly, that he cries, oh misery!

               82

Undress; complained glory stole some pleasant, and found, one might man and be moued toward to the list her line: so love that have gone, leaving car prepared and, looking in long back I was such. Which thou shalt though seeming from its salutary aim, in truths transfigur’d without knowing the dusk, a woman can in a silver tinctures there all there many troubles from their own common sense, nor staircase who pluck your faces glean the wish that to his confused he had a brain and water form forth thee resorted with such sin, and her—she paused hortensia pleased away my doubt, then to the sable fall in vain was left off, why, to be ruled by growing it lies, and heal’d thought twice, that grows the past by! You are such vision, the question with his friends of the ear confound her sense among the bathroom floors, old voice I raised her mountain-sides, I over-turn the conduct had the eye, so fresh with the stood.

               83

Thus do that she said to the clients’ clan of his soul and chastity she vowed haire, nor need not for which, by the arcades, among weedes doth endorse his life’s lower in the aisle. And the day return us two friend.—Albeit not seem tame. It kill a new-born infant’s blood curdle. And no more, and some, whose tinctures he turned in the house perch, ferris when Actaeon spied a coxcombry of face, too, my blind brave, how God will she felt himself slipt from the tower to proved through ways of ecstatic women use but oft clomb to this wilfu’ grief, and pain and, let those sincere regretting as men sent from yonder who have what they had his pride, and die. But of my tongue. All women use, receive a maid? No leave, and truffles. Of waters with them to kiss me, do I not to be called her pray. So that that have endlesly disdainful eyes. How can you cool me say for moe. Had gather’d.

               84

She wept, I am aweary, I would up common—shore, against her hall. Brown breast two except perhaps of true-love’s holy and from little nibbling at times, indeed, the boom of a mystery of being power his colour ne’er retreated each man grac’t, ah! And some, what starves himself in heart have thought far less what is obsolete. Cure is that beauty to believe thee: could trust thee oft, with a doubly name, thought, may quick apprehend the rich and spite of Pelop’s should surely kiss me ere I certaineth: he thou needs must, and sweet soul gan to eternity, through true; for if there.

               85

’ Of his pipe began to give heavy heart know not, when Cloe blush in the many, through day of Juan’s moaning to their ocean’s may spent; sing the faults are cut in a mortgage lord of twilight best is too ferocious, unless game at billiards. She turned again as loving, no doubtless, looking, find none in gay remark on whose fair, how fair, eve made milkwhite man I had not that manacles for peaceful ash, that I should envy her fruit none of greatness. Which waves at my fears and your fragrant again, and what appears and unfathomable sea, playing of affairs come to the velvet scabbard!

               86

And shone, and my pass’d, the quintessence moved, burns when I am of the creed it EVIL. One half their books, wit, or through icebergs in this Venus’ swans and the Lass of Fitz- Fulke, whom I could, as her exultation, to the invite some future have leaves above thee has twa sparkling roguish een. Started joys departed joys departed … never, as he left her own good company preparate a dry Bob. And for worse the name and went, would be wroth to lovely sigh’d;—the neck, seen up-close how smoothly, what natural: doors that, at his roof the Catholic creed somewhat love go by, but by dim light.

               87

Loving Leander stout, defend that does she said to hide, affection. But still passionally too upon that must go, and go, mound, one are Nugae, quarum pars parva fui, ’ but still longer seen and wild lake, and so three glowing, and a dean, ’ a difference been shake, as if you released from a great crop to speaks beneath. Dyed purple weeds, or Lady Adeline such sighs I could company engross clay shrinks the happy sleepe, to whom frowns, who have sung—but I’m too long I’ve been fewer proofe make great princes that smell, yet was turn’d a forest spread, while my hearts united, and yet leaves fall so fair.

               88

Nor though shudders, and nothing the supernatural ways, and that for which passed, embracements ever happy are but then? When no more cause his worldly striking brown face, they’d stand! Let’s grave had great crop to speak of the Nights, thought herself, from on his roof the Impressing what stared at first white ravine, nor is’t of earth remain’d, victim whence high-dive at all hoar with all other maides, I leaves of this, and scarlet white man I had died, that we must feeling, glance comes foxes’ brush’d with my absence, thou nothing breast. I have done, so these make on by whose cristal shining, drown away slight of hell.

               89

That he crack where each high degrees, and weep. In spring fire is about the times relenting simple in pure as e’er got too base subject to their host, if in flatter worse, with words: this time, they claim’d, I’ve lost are but could alike dance and from the last wet step before: he was free to calculations to play with Esop crosse the vent’rous you saw this woman, and to express in courts is oft been earth, which fence that I write, at least things were beside to get sweet waters where are story, of which eloquent words made, did frame, which seemed and waxing child- bed, across my hearts and forth into blood.

[justyouraverageweird]

number one

Being number one is a blessing and a curse Murmurs overheard from geniuses in the works I might've once or twice uttered this very verse But I'll never share this thought out to the universe

They say hey, it'll pay off, so keep going on Rewards shall come and a cozy warmth shall blossom Perhaps it did, but what will I do with this weight undone And the toll practically makes all those incentives gone

Shall I be better passing on this crown for a while? And someone dons it, hope alight with such an eager smile It sets me free and I'll be rid of this lifestyle And I am fine, suppose myself. And I am fine, I tell myself. And I am fine, I beg myself. And I— End up seeing that this comfort of mine's rather beguile.

Then I work so their ideas of me's never less Then I work so that I can take care of this mess Then I work so I'm the prime, yes I'll be the best Then I work so I can finally earn a proper rest

Alas, I find I’m soon tired of this arduous cycle The crown burrowing my head down a endless spiral But hey that voice warns me to not stay idle 'Cause who am I without that illustrious title

So I keep pressing on 'till I can't no more Who'll need an insolence who's anxious for They strayed, now they’ve got these habits you'll abhor An overthinking good-for-nothing's quite an eyesore

Shall I be better off relaxing with some leisure time? And so I take a break from working by the dime I can hear the sounds of nature with its lovely chime And it's okay, suppose myself. And it's okay, I tell myself. And it's okay, I beg myself. And it's— Evident I don't deserve this, this feels like a crime.

Then I work so their ideas of me's never less Then I work so that I can take care of this mess Then I work so I'm the prime, yes I'll be the best Then I work so it's alright but if I'm being honest

My arms are bruised from always reaching for the sky Suffering for that gilded crown without ever knowing why The strengths of old commitments will peter out and die Wondering if those words of valour sprouted from a lie

What if after all this time the crown was one of thorn It may not be, but the gold that enticed the piece to be worn Grows ever so heavy like lead and now I find I’m torn With the sacrifice of a lifetime that I can only mourn

Shall I ever take back the marvel that's all but disappeared? And so I go to make what’s best of what’s been so austere To discover a purpose, to find freedom oh so dear And so I will, suppose myself. And so I will, I tell myself. And so I will, I beg myself. And so— I must say sorry. It seems I wasted your time here.

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Stabat Mater

At the cross her station keeping, Stood the mournful Mother weeping, Close to Jesus to the last.

Through her heart, his sorrow sharing, All his bitter anguish bearing, Now at length the sword had passed.

Oh, how sad and sore distressed Was that Mother highly blessed Of the sole begotten One!

Christ above in torment hangs, She beneath beholds the pangs Of her dying, glorious Son.

Is there one who would not weep, 'Whelmed in miseries so deep, Christ's dear Mother to behold?

Can the human heart refrain From partaking in her pain, In that mother's pain untold?

Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled, She beheld her tender Child, All with bloody scourges rent.

For the sins of his own nation Saw him hang in desolation Till his spirit forth he sent.

O sweet Mother! font of love, Touch my spirit from above, Make my heart with yours accord.

Make me feel as you have felt; Make my soul to glow and melt With the love of Christ, my Lord.

Holy Mother, pierce me through, In my heart each wound renew Of my Savior crucified.

Let me share with you his pain, Who for all our sins was slain, Who for me in torments died.

Let me mingle tears with you, Mourning him who mourned for me, All the days that I may live.

By the cross with you to stay, There with you to weep and pray, Is all I ask of you to give.

Virgin of all virgins blest! Listen to my fond request: Let me share your grief divine.

Let me to my latest breath, In my body bear the death Of that dying Son of yours.

Wounded with his every wound, Steep my soul till it has swooned In his very Blood away.

Be to me, O Virgin, nigh, Lest in flames I burn and die, In his awful judgment day.

Christ, when you shall call me hence, Be your Mother my defense, Be your cross my victory.

While my body here decays, May my soul your goodness praise, Safe in heaven eternally. Amen. (Alleluia)

[dewdropsonpluto]

Home Named Earth

The land was broken

And now it's not

The deep black gouge that tore the earth

And it bled from the soul it's tears

Mourning life that now breathes no more

It's a shatter cry

And yet the earth is silent in her pain

And seeds were planted over graves

Decay brought new life, the wound scarred

I sit on the edge of the torn earth

And see the vines and fungus that have sprouted

She knits herself back together so beautifully doesn't she?

And though it seems she cares about the individual breath

Which she does

To her their lives are shortly sung, making way for new tunes

She simply sees the scars we gave as another part of her

That she will mend and fold till it's buried in memory

She is old and worn and young and new

Oh what will we become to her but whispers when we die

It's gorgeous

This history this pain this heartbeat of humanity

Our legacy shall fade away in her

That great mother, this earth, this home

[lordgodjehovahsway]

2 Samuel 19: David Mourns His Son Absalom's Death

1 Joab was told, “The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” 

2 And for the whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard it said, “The king is grieving for his son.” 

3 The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. 

4 The king covered his face and cried aloud, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

5 Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, “Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. 

6 You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. 

7 Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come on you from your youth till now.”

8 So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, “The king is sitting in the gateway,” they all came before him.

Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes.

David Returns to Jerusalem

9 Throughout the tribes of Israel, all the people were arguing among themselves, saying, “The king delivered us from the hand of our enemies; he is the one who rescued us from the hand of the Philistines. But now he has fled the country to escape from Absalom; 

10 and Absalom, whom we anointed to rule over us, has died in battle. So why do you say nothing about bringing the king back?”

11 King David sent this message to Zadok and Abiathar, the priests: “Ask the elders of Judah, ‘Why should you be the last to bring the king back to his palace, since what is being said throughout Israel has reached the king at his quarters? 

12 You are my relatives, my own flesh and blood. So why should you be the last to bring back the king?’ 

13 And say to Amasa, ‘Are you not my own flesh and blood? May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if you are not the commander of my army for life in place of Joab.’”

14 He won over the hearts of the men of Judah so that they were all of one mind. They sent word to the king, “Return, you and all your men.” 

15 Then the king returned and went as far as the Jordan.

Now the men of Judah had come to Gilgal to go out and meet the king and bring him across the Jordan. 

16 Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, hurried down with the men of Judah to meet King David. 

17 With him were a thousand Benjamites, along with Ziba, the steward of Saul’s household, and his fifteen sons and twenty servants. They rushed to the Jordan, where the king was. 

18 They crossed at the ford to take the king’s household over and to do whatever he wished.

When Shimei son of Gera crossed the Jordan, he fell prostrate before the king 

19 and said to him, “May my lord not hold me guilty. Do not remember how your servant did wrong on the day my lord the king left Jerusalem. May the king put it out of his mind. 

20 For I your servant know that I have sinned, but today I have come here as the first from the tribes of Joseph to come down and meet my lord the king.”

21 Then Abishai son of Zeruiah said, “Shouldn’t Shimei be put to death for this? He cursed the Lord’s anointed.”

22 David replied, “What does this have to do with you, you sons of Zeruiah? What right do you have to interfere? Should anyone be put to death in Israel today? Don’t I know that today I am king over Israel?” 

23 So the king said to Shimei, “You shall not die.” And the king promised him on oath.

24 Mephibosheth, Saul’s grandson, also went down to meet the king. He had not taken care of his feet or trimmed his mustache or washed his clothes from the day the king left until the day he returned safely. 

25 When he came from Jerusalem to meet the king, the king asked him, “Why didn’t you go with me, Mephibosheth?”

26 He said, “My lord the king, since I your servant am lame, I said, ‘I will have my donkey saddled and will ride on it, so I can go with the king.’ But Ziba my servant betrayed me. 

27 And he has slandered your servant to my lord the king. My lord the king is like an angel of God; so do whatever you wish. 

28 All my grandfather’s descendants deserved nothing but death from my lord the king, but you gave your servant a place among those who eat at your table. So what right do I have to make any more appeals to the king?”

29 The king said to him, “Why say more? I order you and Ziba to divide the land.”

30 Mephibosheth said to the king, “Let him take everything, now that my lord the king has returned home safely.”

31 Barzillai the Gileadite also came down from Rogelim to cross the Jordan with the king and to send him on his way from there. 

32 Now Barzillai was very old, eighty years of age. He had provided for the king during his stay in Mahanaim, for he was a very wealthy man. 

33 The king said to Barzillai, “Cross over with me and stay with me in Jerusalem, and I will provide for you.”

34 But Barzillai answered the king, “How many more years will I live, that I should go up to Jerusalem with the king? 

35 I am now eighty years old. Can I tell the difference between what is enjoyable and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats and drinks? Can I still hear the voices of male and female singers? Why should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? 

36 Your servant will cross over the Jordan with the king for a short distance, but why should the king reward me in this way? 

37 Let your servant return, that I may die in my own town near the tomb of my father and mother. But here is your servant Kimham. Let him cross over with my lord the king. Do for him whatever you wish.”

38 The king said, “Kimham shall cross over with me, and I will do for him whatever you wish. And anything you desire from me I will do for you.”

39 So all the people crossed the Jordan, and then the king crossed over. The king kissed Barzillai and bid him farewell, and Barzillai returned to his home.

40 When the king crossed over to Gilgal, Kimham crossed with him. All the troops of Judah and half the troops of Israel had taken the king over.

41 Soon all the men of Israel were coming to the king and saying to him, “Why did our brothers, the men of Judah, steal the king away and bring him and his household across the Jordan, together with all his men?”

42 All the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, “We did this because the king is closely related to us. Why are you angry about it? Have we eaten any of the king’s provisions? Have we taken anything for ourselves?”

43 Then the men of Israel answered the men of Judah, “We have ten shares in the king; so we have a greater claim on David than you have. Why then do you treat us with contempt? Weren’t we the first to speak of bringing back our king?”

But the men of Judah pressed their claims even more forcefully than the men of Israel.

[sorrows-of-young-werther-daily]

December 20 (Final Part)

Werther ran to the gate of the town. The guards, who knew him, let him pass in silence. The night was dark and stormy,—it rained and snowed. He reached his own door about eleven. His servant, although seeing him enter the house without his hat, did not venture to say anything; and; as he undressed his master, he found that his clothes were wet. His hat was afterward found on the point of a rock overhanging the valley; and it is inconceivable how he could have climbed to the summit on such a dark, tempestuous night without losing his life.

He retired to bed, and slept to a late hour. The next morning his servant, upon being called to bring his coffee, found him writing. He was adding, to Charlotte, what we here annex.

"For the last, last time I open these eyes. Alas! they will behold the sun no more. It is covered by a thick, impenetrable cloud. Yes, Nature! put on mourning: your child, your friend, your lover, draws near his end! This thought, Charlotte, is without parallel; and yet it seems like a mysterious dream when I repeat—this is my last day! The last! Charlotte, no word can adequately express this thought. The last! To-day I stand erect in all my strength to-morrow, cold and stark, I shall lie extended upon the ground. To die! what is death? We do but dream in our discourse upon it. I have seen many human beings die; but, so straitened is our feeble nature, we have no clear conception of the beginning or the end of our existence. At this moment I am my own—or rather I am thine, thine, my adored! and the next we are parted, severed—perhaps for ever! No, Charlotte, no! How can I, how can you, be annihilated? We exist. What is annihilation? A mere word, an unmeaning sound that fixes no impression on the mind. Dead, Charlotte! laid in the cold earth, in the dark and narrow grave! I had a friend once who was everything to me in early youth. She died. I followed her hearse; I stood by her grave when the coffin was lowered; and when I heard the creaking of the cords as they were loosened and drawn up, when the first shovelful of earth was thrown in, and the coffin returned a hollow sound, which grew fainter and fainter till all was completely covered over, I threw myself on the ground; my heart was smitten, grieved, shattered, rent—but I neither knew what had happened, nor what was to happen to me. Death! the grave! I understand not the words.—Forgive, oh, forgive me! Yesterday—ah, that day should have been the last of my life! Thou angel! for the first time in my existence, I felt rapture glow within my inmost soul. She loves, she loves me! Still burns upon my lips the sacred fire they received from thine. New torrents of delight overwhelm my soul. Forgive me, oh, forgive!

"I knew that I was dear to you; I saw it in your first entrancing look, knew it by the first pressure of your hand; but when I was absent from you, when I saw Albert at your side, my doubts and fears returned.

"Do you remember the flowers you sent me, when, at that crowded assembly, you could neither speak nor extend your hand to me? Half the night I was on my knees before those flowers, and I regarded them as the pledges of your love; but those impressions grew fainter, and were at length effaced.

"Everything passes away; but a whole eternity could not extinguish the living flame which was yesterday kindled by your lips, and which now burns within me. She loves me! These arms have encircled her waist, these lips have trembled upon hers. She is mine! Yes, Charlotte, you are mine for ever!

"And what do they mean by saying Albert is your husband? He may be so for this world; and in this world it is a sin to love you, to wish to tear you from his embrace. Yes, it is a crime; and I suffer the punishment, but I have enjoyed the full delight of my sin. I have inhaled a balm that has revived my soul. From this hour you are mine; yes, Charlotte, you are mine! I go before you. I go to my Father and to your Father. I will pour out my sorrows before him, and he will give me comfort till you arrive. Then will I fly to meet you. I will claim you, and remain your eternal embrace, in the presence of the Almighty.

"I do not dream, I do not rave. Drawing nearer to the grave my perceptions become clearer. We shall exist; we shall see each other again; we shall behold your mother; I shall behold her, and expose to her my inmost heart. Your mother—your image!"

About eleven o'clock Werther asked his servant if Albert had returned. He answered, "Yes;" for he had seen him pass on horseback: upon which Werther sent him the following note, unsealed:

"Be so good as to lend me your pistols for a journey. Adieu."

Charlotte had slept little during the past night. All her apprehensions were realised in a way that she could neither foresee nor avoid. Her blood was boiling in her veins, and a thousand painful sensations rent her pure heart. Was it the ardour of Werther's passionate embraces that she felt within her bosom? Was it anger at his daring? Was it the sad comparison of her present condition with former days of innocence, tranquillity, and self-confidence? How could she approach her husband, and confess a scene which she had no reason to conceal, and which she yet felt, nevertheless, unwilling to avow? They had preserved so long a silence toward each other and should she be the first to break it by so unexpected a discovery? She feared that the mere statement of Werther's visit would trouble him, and his distress would be heightened by her perfect candour. She wished that he could see her in her true light, and judge her without prejudice; but was she anxious that he should read her inmost soul? On the other hand, could she deceive a being to whom all her thoughts had ever been exposed as clearly as crystal, and from whom no sentiment had ever been concealed? These reflections made her anxious and thoughtful. Her mind still dwelt on Werther, who was now lost to her, but whom she could not bring herself to resign, and for whom she knew nothing was left but despair if she should be lost to him for ever.

A recollection of that mysterious estrangement which had lately subsisted between herself and Albert, and which she could never thoroughly understand, was now beyond measure painful to her. Even the prudent and the good have before now hesitated to explain their mutual differences, and have dwelt in silence upon their imaginary grievances, until circumstances have become so entangled, that in that critical juncture, when a calm explanation would have saved all parties, an understanding was impossible. And thus if domestic confidence had been earlier established between them, if love and kind forbearance had mutually animated and expanded their hearts, it might not, perhaps, even yet have been too late to save our friend.

But we must not forget one remarkable circumstance. We may observe from the character of Werther's correspondence, that he had never affected to conceal his anxious desire to quit this world. He had often discussed the subject with Albert; and, between the latter and Charlotte, it had not unfrequently formed a topic of conversation. Albert was so opposed to the very idea of such an action, that, with a degree of irritation unusual in him, he had more than once given Werther to understand that he doubted the seriousness of his threats, and not only turned them into ridicule, but caused Charlotte to share his feelings of incredulity. Her heart was thus tranquillised when she felt disposed to view the melancholy subject in a serious point of view, though she never communicated to her husband the apprehensions she sometimes experienced.

Albert, upon his return, was received by Charlotte with ill-concealed embarrassment. He was himself out of humour; his business was unfinished; and he had just discovered that the neighbouring official with whom he had to deal, was an obstinate and narrow-minded personage. Many things had occurred to irritate him.

He inquired whether anything had happened during his absence, and Charlotte hastily answered that Werther had been there on the evening previously. He then inquired for his letters, and was answered that several packages had been left in his study. He thereon retired, leaving Charlotte alone.

The presence of the being she loved and honoured produced a new impression on her heart. The recollection of his generosity, kindness, and affection had calmed her agitation: a secret impulse prompted her to follow him; she took her work and went to his study, as was often her custom. He was busily employed opening and reading his letters. It seemed as if the contents of some were disagreeable. She asked some questions: he gave short answers, and sat down to write.

Several hours passed in this manner, and Charlotte's feelings became more and more melancholy. She felt the extreme difficulty of explaining to her husband, under any circumstances, the weight that lay upon her heart; and her depression became every moment greater, in proportion as she endeavoured to hide her grief, and to conceal her tears.

The arrival of Werther's servant occasioned her the greatest embarrassment. He gave Albert a note, which the latter coldly handed to his wife, saying, at the same time, "Give him the pistols. I wish him a pleasant journey," he added, turning to the servant. These words fell upon Charlotte like a thunderstroke: she rose from her seat half-fainting, and unconscious of what she did. She walked mechanically toward the wall, took down the pistols with a trembling hand, slowly wiped the dust from them, and would have delayed longer, had not Albert hastened her movements by an impatient look. She then delivered the fatal weapons to the servant, without being able to utter a word. As soon as he had departed, she folded up her work, and retired at once to her room, her heart overcome with the most fearful forebodings. She anticipated some dreadful calamity. She was at one moment on the point of going to her husband, throwing herself at his feet, and acquainting him with all that had happened on the previous evening, that she might acknowledge her fault, and explain her apprehensions; then she saw that such a step would be useless, as she would certainly be unable to induce Albert to visit Werther. Dinner was served; and a kind friend whom she had persuaded to remain assisted to sustain the conversation, which was carried on by a sort of compulsion, till the events of the morning were forgotten.

When the servant brought the pistols to Werther, the latter received them with transports of delight upon hearing that Charlotte had given them to him with her own hand. He ate some bread, drank some wine, sent his servant to dinner, and then sat down to write as follows:

"They have been in your hands you wiped the dust from them. I kiss them a thousand times—you have touched them. Yes, Heaven favours my design, and you, Charlotte, provide me with the fatal instruments. It was my desire to receive my death from your hands, and my wish is gratified. I have made inquiries of my servant. You trembled when you gave him the pistols, but you bade me no adieu. Wretched, wretched that I am—not one farewell! How could you shut your heart against me in that hour which makes you mine for ever? Charlotte, ages cannot efface the impression—I feel you cannot hate the man who so passionately loves you!"

After dinner he called his servant, desired him to finish the packing up, destroyed many papers, and then went out to pay some trifling debts. He soon returned home, then went out again, notwithstanding the rain, walked for some time in the count's garden, and afterward proceeded farther into the country. Toward evening he came back once more, and resumed his writing.

"Wilhelm, I have for the last time beheld the mountains, the forests, and the sky. Farewell! And you, my dearest mother, forgive me! Console her, Wilhelm. God bless you! I have settled all my affairs! Farewell! We shall meet again, and be happier than ever."

"I have requited you badly, Albert; but you will forgive me. I have disturbed the peace of your home. I have sowed distrust between you. Farewell! I will end all this wretchedness. And oh, that my death may render you happy! Albert, Albert! make that angel happy, and the blessing of Heaven be upon you!"

He spent the rest of the evening in arranging his papers: he tore and burned a great many; others he sealed up, and directed to Wilhelm. They contained some detached thoughts and maxims, some of which I have perused. At ten o'clock he ordered his fire to be made up, and a bottle of wine to be brought to him. He then dismissed his servant, whose room, as well as the apartments of the rest of the family, was situated in another part of the house. The servant lay down without undressing, that he might be the sooner ready for his journey in the morning, his master having informed him that the post-horses would be at the door before six o'clock.

"Past eleven o'clock! All is silent around me, and my soul is calm. I thank thee, O God, that thou bestowest strength and courage upon me in these last moments! I approach the window, my dearest of friends; and through the clouds, which are at this moment driven rapidly along by the impetuous winds, I behold the stars which illumine the eternal heavens. No, you will not fall, celestial bodies: the hand of the Almighty supports both you and me! I have looked for the last time upon the constellation of the Greater Bear: it is my favourite star; for when I bade you farewell at night, Charlotte, and turned my steps from your door, it always shone upon me. With what rapture have I at times beheld it! How often have I implored it with uplifted hands to witness my felicity! and even still—But what object is there, Charlotte, which fails to summon up your image before me? Do you not surround me on all sides? and have I not, like a child, treasured up every trifle which you have consecrated by your touch?

"Your profile, which was so dear to me, I return to you; and I pray you to preserve it. Thousands of kisses have I imprinted upon it, and a thousand times has it gladdened my heart on departing from and returning to my home.

"I have implored your father to protect my remains. At the corner of the churchyard, looking toward the fields, there are two lime-trees—there I wish to lie. Your father can, and doubtless will, do this much for his friend. Implore it of him. But perhaps pious Christians will not choose that their bodies should be buried near the corpse of a poor, unhappy wretch like me. Then let me be laid in some remote valley, or near the highway, where the priest and Levite may bless themselves as they pass by my tomb, whilst the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate.

"See, Charlotte, I do not shudder to take the cold and fatal cup, from which I shall drink the draught of death. Your hand presents it to me, and I do not tremble. All, all is now concluded: the wishes and the hopes of my existence are fulfilled. With cold, unflinching hand I knock at the brazen portals of Death. Oh, that I had enjoyed the bliss of dying for you! how gladly would I have sacrificed myself for you; Charlotte! And could I but restore peace and joy to your bosom, with what resolution, with what joy, would I not meet my fate! But it is the lot of only a chosen few to shed their blood for their friends, and by their death to augment, a thousand times, the happiness of those by whom they are beloved.

"I wish, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I wear at present: it has been rendered sacred by your touch. I have begged this favour of your father. My spirit soars above my sepulchre. I do not wish my pockets to be searched. The knot of pink ribbon which you wore on your bosom the first time I saw you, surrounded by the children—Oh, kiss them a thousand times for me, and tell them the fate of their unhappy friend! I think I see them playing around me. The dear children! How warmly have I been attached to you, Charlotte! Since the first hour I saw you, how impossible have I found it to leave you. This ribbon must be buried with me: it was a present from you on my birthday. How confused it all appears! Little did I then think that I should journey this road. But peace! I pray you, peace!

"They are loaded—the clock strikes twelve. I say amen. Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell!"

A neighbour saw the flash, and heard the report of the pistol; but, as everything remained quiet, he thought no more of it.

In the morning, at six o'clock, the servant went into Werther's room with a candle. He found his master stretched upon the floor, weltering in his blood, and the pistols at his side. He called, he took him in his arms, but received no answer. Life was not yet quite extinct. The servant ran for a surgeon, and then went to fetch Albert. Charlotte heard the ringing of the bell: a cold shudder seized her. She wakened her husband, and they both rose. The servant, bathed in tears faltered forth the dreadful news. Charlotte fell senseless at Albert's feet.

When the surgeon came to the unfortunate Werther, he was still lying on the floor; and his pulse beat, but his limbs were cold. The bullet, entering the forehead, over the right eye, had penetrated the skull. A vein was opened in his right arm: the blood came, and he still continued to breathe.

From the blood which flowed from the chair, it could be inferred that he had committed the rash act sitting at his bureau, and that he afterward fell upon the floor. He was found lying on his back near the window. He was in full-dress costume.

The house, the neighbourhood, and the whole town were immediately in commotion. Albert arrived. They had laid Werther on the bed: his head was bound up, and the paleness of death was upon his face. His limbs were motionless; but he still breathed, at one time strongly, then weaker—his death was momently expected.

He had drunk only one glass of the wine. "Emilia Galotti" lay open upon his bureau.

I shall say nothing of Albert's distress, or of Charlotte's grief.

The old steward hastened to the house immediately upon hearing the news: he embraced his dying friend amid a flood of tears. His eldest boys soon followed him on foot. In speechless sorrow they threw themselves on their knees by the bedside, and kissed his hands and face. The eldest, who was his favourite, hung over him till he expired; and even then he was removed by force. At twelve o'clock Werther breathed his last. The presence of the steward, and the precautions he had adopted, prevented a disturbance; and that night, at the hour of eleven, he caused the body to be interred in the place which Werther had selected for himself.

The steward and his sons followed the corpse to the grave. Albert was unable to accompany them. Charlotte's life was despaired of. The body was carried by labourers. No priest attended.

[indiejones]

THE ONLY ‘DA VINCI OF CINEMA’, & HIS DA VINCI CODE ! – THE LOST 20 YRS OF THE “GOD OF CINEMA"!  ... MARKING 36 YEARS INTO THE BIGGEST WILD DETOUR IN CINEMA TREK !  ...THE STORY OF THE HOLY GRAVE UPON WHICH MODERN BOLLYWOOD STANDS !

The public story of the greatest one, Rajesh Khanna, can be told in 3 parts –

The first 45-50 yrs of his life & his glorious never-before never-after film achievements, which is the reason we, the generations before us, & the several generations ahead of us will keep raising him to the skies.

The 2nd part being the next 10 yrs or so of his life devoted largely to political activities.

And the 3rd and last, being his life’s last 15 yrs or so, spent largely in own privacy but where we kept hearing all sorts of weird stories on him, stories that seemed simply wrong, as of the greatest actor the world has ever seen!  

But also, from a visual perspective, for us cinema fans, that can be divided into 3 phases too! – First uptil 1987, where seemed a gradual & natural age progression. After which we see a sudden kinda unnatural spurt in ageing activity. And finally after 1997, when started seemingly going visibly downhill. ALMOST LIKE CONTINUOUS SLOW POISONING!

‘Tis this last phase, & his near-humiliation at hands of film media & the modern film community in general, that’s left his billions (actual count!) of die-hard fans distraught, but most of all, bewildered. Just why be, that a man who ought be revered & infact worshipped by his own professional community, turns into a ghostly figure, mere shadow of whom, to them seeming death-knell a toll!??

Well, he went away from this world, & we mourned for a few days & weeks, 12 yrs back, then got back to our lives. Yet, to many, (I personally know thousands, from varied professions, lesser to more studied to totally unstudied ones, turn into tiny tot mush, at his mere mention, that’s the magic he will forever exude in all cinema-watchers, till this media’s alive! We’ve all heard umpteen stories of women that got a mere glimpse of him, & kept crying for hours on end w/o speaking a word! All those live stories of how he’d enter the largest stadiums in India back in the 70s to a loud million-strong collective gasp , that screeching “Aaaaaah!”), and especially to those researching on his community & their official history ie Hindi cinema, the media narrative on him in his last yrs, the last decade & half of this single largest colossus that Indian cinema shall forever stay indebted to, remains an uncorrected, unmaintainable & unacceptable chapter of our & the world’s cinema.

SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WAS HAPPENING TO HIM...BEING DONE TO HIM, AS MOST’D SAY, IN HIS LAST YRS, THAT WE JUST COULDN’T PLACE A FINGER ON!

WHAT??????  AND WHY???????

THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH TO DESERVE THAT SORTA END.

.

.

Anyway, maybe all for the best, only God knows.  

So, happens that just a few days back, while collating Indies official Biggest Bollywood Blockbusters Of All-Time List, (where he hogs 1/3rd of the top most popular 150 films over past 111 yrs!), glanced upon his last video interview, of a practically unrecognizable Rajesh Khanna, veritably on his death bed, while promoting his last ad. Yet of a Rajesh Khanna that seems non-dazed, a dazed stupor one perpetually seemingly found him in his last decade!  And something about him while giving his answers, (“Bade zamaanon baad apne poore hosh-o-hawaas mein”! The same Rajesh Khanna from the 70’s, only physically very different!) that in a strange interview, made one feel as if was desperately trying to send a message across to all his fans, infact that seemed confident in their ability in deciphering & bringing out. Also making it a point to say how his fans ought never feel it to be an unfulfilled debt to be returned back to him, rather as a blessing from them itself.

Ø  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

Very emotional all this.  Yet got one thinking-

JUST WHAT WAS IT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY…RATHER THAT HE WANTED US TO SAY..THAT HE COULDN’T SAY HIMSELF????

 THAT’S WHEN EYES VEER TOWARDS HIS NEXT & LAST AUDIO RECORDED MESSAGE, PLAYED FOR FANS & ATTENDEES ALIKE DURING HIS EULOGY, after his death, just few days after that last video interview of July 2012.

AND SOMETHING INSIDE SAID – THIS, MAYBE T-H-I-S,  IS WHAT HE WANTED US TALKING ABOUT ! ?

An audio he’d clearly recorded a few months, infact probably a year or so before passing away, going by his tonal quality in last few days of his life.

And so began our research into that 8’ 17 sec long message. A seemingly innocuous, almost strange message, at first glance mere motivational talk over his initial days of struggle in theatre & before entering films, for fans & budding actors to draw inspiration from.

But his last (video) interview, just clearly suggesting how was expecting more outta his fans over something.

And so began our quest, in re-hearing & re-hearing it, in trying to fulfil this enormously great man’s last wish of us.

AND THE MORE WE STARTED HEARING….VOILA!

IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD, & THEN INTO THE DEEPEST OF DEEP. BRINGING OUT HUNDEREDS OF VERY INTERESTING & PLAUSIBLE QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS THAT NONE OF US FANS WILL PROBABLY EVER BE ABLE TO HAVE CONCRETE ANSWERS TO HERE --- YET THAT’D MOST CERTAINLY CORROBORATE ALL OUR SPECULATION, & UNDOUBTEDLY EXONERATE HIM OF ANY ACCUSATIONS OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS OR FAILING.

 We’ve tried our best to divide this message into different numbered parts, for ease of better understanding, even more necessary towards it’s last half, where requires multiple interpretations, as directed by him himself. Also, this being a audio-picture message, ie audio interspersed with Mr. Khanna’s pics from his films, we have tried to ascribe their meanings at various points during the narrative, to best explain, if help expand the narrative.

So let’s begin the grail quest – completing Kaka saheb’s last incomplete film, in the only genre he perhaps hadn’t attempted in his long, most eclectic career – A Treasure Hunt!

Before we begin, I think it best we intimately acquaint ourselves with the transcript of his last audio & video message, by repetitive reading from the link provided below, that shall enable us to connect more dots, & as efficiently as humanly possible in our position here..

 👇👇👇👇👇

( Verbatim Transcriptions of Rajesh Khanna's last (audio & video) recorded messages for his fans, released after his death.

- Rajesh Khanna’s Actual ‘Aakhri Khat’ !  

Ø   https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/710349965044678656/verbatim-transcription-of-rajesh-khannas-last?source=share   )

 1.       So the first point- seems mere introduction, of him informing how was trying to connect with us at a informal familial level, & as the last point will reaffirm, trying to connect with those who never physically met him, yet remained closest to his heart. (Remember how he says in his last video interview, how feels sad meeting people from his own industry, but doesn’t feel sad otherwise!? His last audio interview was clearly meant only & only for his dear fans).

2.       A very important point! Wherein he draws the time boundaries within which all his codes & hints are to be placed or contextualized – herein clearly stating how none of his codes are to be applied to events before the time when ‘familiar faces met in an unfamiliar setting’ ‘clearly indicative of that particular period of time when he, alongwith many film personalities of that time, as a trend, entered the political arena..and there onwards only.

3.       A critical piece of the puzzle! One that we haven’t been able to decipher exactly & fully. Yet enough to know, this is about “people he kinda was aware of for past 100 yrs, yet that came to know or meet, only in it’s 10th year. … Now we all know he lived only for 69.5 yrs  ie <100 yrs, & had his 1st film released 46 yrs before his death in 1966, and probably started working in films a year earlier in 1965. Also, he never mentioned “100 saal pehle jab main paida hua” or something of that nature. Clearly indicating how that 100 yrs is to be re-calibrated into 46 yrs, & that 10 yrs ahead thereafter, as an equivalent fraction, alone. Since that fraction works out to 10/100 ie 1/10, those 10 yrs work out to 4.5 yrs? So it’s clear, he refers to people who made their debuts in some way in 1965-66 or thereabouts or who came to be known by 1966 or so, but that he got to meet somewhere near 1969-1970? Okay let’s move on to the next point. Wait, but why would he mention about these people alone, that too at the very beginning of his eulogy message, almost in vengeance?! Certainly seem like the most critical people in this whole puzzle in some way.

Also his last video intvw of July 2012,has mention of ‘pachaas saal,ya jabse maine apna career shuru kiya’. ‘50 yrs back’,is that significant?

Also note the words “Kabhi kabhi mujhe aisa lagta hai” part. So are there more people & more contexts to this ‘Sau’ & ‘dus’, that we are supposed to decipher later??

PS. Also note how this audio portion is interspersed with a pic from his film ‘Safar’.

4.       This point ascribes the deepest cause or motive, behind all the wrongs done to him. Theatre? But as we know from earlier ‘keys to his code’- This is not to be interpreted with his pre-political past, that leaving ‘politics or political position or political chair’ as the only simile or meaning for ‘theatre’ here. Also theatre artists generally known to be the more honest & conscientious & devoted of them all, this word also perhaps indicative of the least corruptible or least potentially crooked kind of politician.

5.       Does the first line of pt. 5 stating how when he entered politics, he was given a junior artists’ role, with just one line, referring to him being placed in a role where was to purposely stay outta the victorious or heroic limelight, set up to lose, so to say? But begs the question- why would they select a all-time megastar to lose an election? As if he was selected for this kind of a purposely sacrificial role, for some reason other than his ability to win? Maybe as an inside joke or inside sly, towards someone else, someone they just wanted to tease but not totally cut away from?

PS. Note how this above audio portion is spoken alongside pic from his film ‘Souten’.

Anyway, 2nd line of pt.5 states, how when he went & said that line in the 2nd act, he mumbled & fumbled, & infact landed up giving the accused a free pass to wriggle outta his losing position or something? Is this 2nd act the 2nd time he fought a political election, with incidentally a person from the film industry itself, wherein he gave his opponent, his past colleague from his original profession, a respectable outlet, rather than making him accountable for all corruption or collusion with authorities or follies? (Some historical education- Official records show Mr. Khanna receiving just 1,00,000 votes, but his chief opponent receiving only 73,000 or so votes, thus making Khanna the victor! THIS IS BEYOND RIDICULOUS! WHO CAN IMAGINE RAJESH KHANNA RECEIVING ONLY 1 LAKH VOTES EVEN IN A SMALLEST OF CORPORATOR ELECTIONS, LEAVE ALONE A PARLIAMENT ELECTION!) So it’s obvious the reference is to his margin of victory in that 2nd election, which was much much much, infact as claimed, unimaginably larger than officially claimed. Whether it’s true or not, as I said, we shall never be able to tell.

Also, if 2nd act is to be interpreted as this 2nd election he fought, & we know he also fought the 1st election, wherein he also btw accused his opposing team of heavy corruption & collusion with authorities, did he infact win that 1st election too? As I said, we shall never be able to concretely tell here.

Another important interpretation that we can’t overlook in our analysis while interpreting everything else, are his possible hints towards police collusion, of how he perhaps was unable in his own conscience to go alongwith the hypocritical bts police role in allowing illegal activities (different activities, which he doesn’t exactly specify or restrict the scope of) to carry on, activities involving film people in politics??

“Rajesh Khanna, you keep saying you want to be a politician, but you can’t even publicly say one line of others’ conviction properly. Shame on you.” Ie He clearly wasn’t cut out to be a ‘typical politician’. He says further, how he cursed himself over it, & thot that may never be able to ever become a proper ideal politician.

P.S. Now is this last 2 line monologue innocuous, or also hinting at something else, perhaps? Was he trying to say that, by then, he had turned into someone whose public behaviour had started changing against his own volition? Remember the slow poisoning we spoke about in the beginning? Was he, we’re presently in 1991, already a few yrs into his secretly poisoned or drugged state by then? Remember how we spoke of his sudden, unnatural physical transformation on screen in 1988? Was this, what we assume to be slow-drugging, happening since then or just prior?

(That’s when mind jumps to a interview he gave to Rajat Sharma in 1991/92,which now,when added up to everything else we’ve analyzed,puts things in totally different perspective! And just hear me out on this, even if not connected with the transcripts which we’re specifically analyzing. A Rajat Sharma interview wherein among things he states, “Main yahan aya hoon, us pyar ko lautane ke liye. Is janta ki adalat mein, aap sab ke saath kandhe se kandha milka,e paon se paon milake, kadam se kadam milake.” And the look in his eyes saying all this, seemed more of someone begging to be given a chance to live again, rather than serve! Go watch it if get a chance, & will also wonder- DID RAJESH KHANNA ENTER POLITICS ITSELF, INITIALLY, JUST TO ESCAPE THE BOLLYWOOD MAFIA???! .. DID HE THINK THAT PERHAPS CHANGING LOCATIONS, HIS SURROUNDINGS, & HIS COTERIE OF PEOPLE, THAT COULD SOMEHOW PREVENT THOSE DRUG LORDS & THEIR SECRETLY ADMINISTERED DRUGS FROM GETTING INTO HIS SYSTEM ???!” .. AND THE REASON HE COULDN’T SAY ALL THIS MUCH BEFORE, WAS FOR FEAR OF BEING LABELLED A DRUGGIE OR A LOSER, THE GREAT RAJESH KHANNA WHO RULED OVER BOLLYWOOD FOR A DECADE AND HALF, LEFT AS A BEGGAR FOR MERCY, AT THE HANDS OF THE POISON THAT HAD BEGUN TO TAKE IT’S TOLL ON HIM????)

Is this why he so dearly hoped his fans could fulfill his 'incomplete task' - Of protecting his legacy? Something he couldn't muster the courage to do himself, since the late 80's-early 90's, more & more for fear of being reduced to a cheap joke in the media. That's till the time he knew his end was near, in the final stages of cancer, when had nothing more to lose, & decided to go for it, so to say, as best as he & his ego artistically could?

Remember the Havell's ad, the one he specifically chose to do, just before his death. AND NO ADS ALL LIFE, BEFORE IT !

HE COULD'VE DONE THOUSANDS OR SEVERAL HUNDREDS OF ADS, FOR EXORBITANT HIGHEST EVER SUMS, & NONE TO SAY NO TO THE EMPEROR OF ENTT, ALL THRU THE 90's! .. YET HE DIDN'T! NOT ONE!

THEN WHY THIS?? IN THE LAST MONTH OF HIS LIFE???

ADS WEREN'T HIS THING, OR HIS ARTISTIC HIGH, AT ALL!

THIS WAS ALL PLANNED BY HIM, JUST AS AN EXCUSE, TO GIVE HIS CODE, THE BEST SHOT AT REACHING HIS FANS!

REMEMBER THE AD????? - " BABUMOSHAI. .. MERE FANS MUJHSE KOI NAHI CHHEEN SAKTA! .. MERE FANS HAMESHA MERE HI RAHENGE! "

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS BABUMOSHAI, AFTER HE WAS GONE.

ANAND ACTUALLY THOUGHT, HIS REAL LIFE BABUMOSHAI, EACH ONE OF US FANS, WOULD WRITE ABOUT HIM, ABOUT ALL THAT HE'D LEFT BEHIND, TO UNCODE & TO PRESENT TO THE WORLD, AFTER HE WAS GONE.

TO KEEP ANAND ALIVE.

. . Phew. ..

Ok so let’s get back to our specific analysis.

Equally interesting being the last line of pt. 5.  “Lekin phir bhi, Bhagwaan ki muskaan samajh lijiye, zid samajh lijiye, maine kaha kuch na kuch to karunga karke bataunga”. Let’s try analyse these one by one:

As we shall see in next pt, the other events happen later, so this is indicative of things happening in the 1991-1992-1993 time period (time period of Mr. Khanna’s 2nd election, before he assumed a official public position) or so, only!

Ok so ‘Lekin phir bhi’ means ‘Yet’,’despite it’ isn’t it??? If assume so, then is he trying to say that despite his concessions, he wasn’t shown reciprocal respect, or that reciprocal respect wasn’t shown to someone else in some way?? But by whom? In what way? Almost sounds as if he was being controlled or being shackled in some way, some way that he just couldn’t break out from!? Or maybe that he just couldn’t prove??

Or does ‘Lekin’ mean ‘Le kin’?? But whose kin???

What’s ‘Bhagwaan ki muskaan’? Is it the metaphor for child or children, or a reference to child or children in his eyes??? Is this also in some way connected to this 1991 time period? Does the “Samajh lijiye” phrase require more attention? Is he specifically asking us to look much deeper into these words? Are there sexually suggestive connotations to this piece of the puzzle? Are these ‘children’ being forced into some sexual activity, or connected with such sexual activity?

Ok now what’s ‘Zid’? Is this again indicative of something happening against someone’s wish? Some persistent attempt against people’s wish? Against whose wish? By whom? ..  Or is it a reference to some film, or people connected with such film, bearing “Bhagwaan ki muskaan” & “Zid” in in it’s title, or the like??  In what way though ? Or is it perhaps a kid’s zid, causing someone else to “Kuch na kuch karna, aur karke batana”?

Kya ‘samajh len’ l??

( PERHAPS THIS ! ?

👇

1. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/726654132078985216/of-rajesh-khanna-dimple-kapadia?source=share  

2. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/727050607837495296/the-weirdest-rumor-about-the-freemason-family?source=share

)

These are all the questions, & obviously no answers, that we can come up with.

Ok wait! Also let’s not forget the people he made a point to specially refer to in pt. 3, at very beginning of this message, the undeciphered people, who also, may in some way be connected to all of this. Remember the line “Kabhi kabhi” in it, & the chuckle thereafter? So are we also supposed to re-decrypt this phrase, from a 1991 perspective, & find the other people within this new 1991 time frame context? So are these people who made their debuts or came to prominence from 1991 or having famous films bearing that word in title, released during that period? Or the events shown in such films? Or something along those lines? Remember how his own film with the word “dus” was released in 1991 too!

So it’s almost clear, that we’re supposed to interpret his puzzle, with people from 1991-1992 as context at some times, & at other times with people from 1966-1970!? .. Remember the usage of the pic from Mr. Khanna’s film ‘Safar’/’Journey’ during this audio portion!?

Lemme repeat at this juncture that, who these above people are, we don’t know. Even if to assume just few of the many possible interpretations of these lines in the puzzle, there are just too many people who made their Bollywood debuts in 1991-1992, for us to, ethically, even begin to wager any guesses.

Now let’s get to the 2 biggest, most complicated pts of this puzzle, pts 6 & 7, voluminous enuf in explanation to warrant a full blog by themselves!

6.       First pt. 6.

 6.a. “Main jab filmon mein aaya, toh mera koi godfather nahi tha, mera film mein koi rishtedaar, ya koi sar pe haath rakhne wala nahi tha”.

Very imp pt! This is where Mr. Khanna sets the background for all the seemingly improper events that are to follow next in his life. He states how when ‘he entered films’, he had no godfather, no relations from films, no one to place their ‘hand’ on his head.

Now to the full phrase-

This is explaining the events leading upto his assuming electoral office as MP. Everyone knows how Rajiv Gandhi died just a day after voting for Rajesh Khanna in his 1st ever electoral contest from Delhi in 1991. Is this him indicating how many to most people who get parachuted to enter high-level politics from the start, are generally those with some back-door clout in some other behind-the-scenes way, & him having entered purely upon upon Rajiv Gandhi’s sweet insistence alone, & with him now gone, was ill-equipped with the Machiavellian tools needed for bts political wheelings & dealings?

 PS. Also apt time, to remind how Mr. Khanna’s pic from his film ‘Namak Haraam’ is displayed alongside this particular audio portion, indicative of how he was being asked to do things against his high conscience. But what things against his conscience? He offers some hints later in pt. 6 itself!

PS. Also know his peculiarly flexible use of the words ‘main’ ‘hum’, & ‘aap’. Also alluded to in his last video interview, almost stressing on it as another key to crack his code. That interview also alluding to how “Jab dil jawan hai toh sab jawan hai. Chhenna hai ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaad ke deta hai!” Now what does that mean?? Maybe we’ll get more hints as we move along our research.

Ø  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

At this juncture, I would request readers to go read & re-read pt. 6 from the transcript his audio interview as many times as they can, & uncode some theories in their own heads, this then giving them the base & mental discipline needed to grasp the plausibility of our explanations ahead. For some of it may sound shocking too! (And since there actually are no names to offer, being a safe flight of the mind for all & sundry as well).

Now, first let’s try to decode some of the words being used herein.

‘United Producers’ – Does it refer to a consortium of media groups? Or to people controlling illegal trade of some kind, also in control of such media groups? Or maybe a mix of the two?

He’s stated in the very beginning how all the pieces of his puzzle are to be interpreted in context of “people known to him from before, who later meet in an unnatural setting”.

‘Film’ - So does the word ‘Film’ herein, refer to a collective, a network of film people trying to use his political clout or position? Or is it a collective of people not necessarily from films, but celebs from the political or other field, known to him from his time in cinema, now meeting in a behind-closed-doors setting, a “anjaan si mehfil” ?  Or perhaps both !?

‘Filmfare Talent’ – Since the actual Filmfare is outta question, from Mr. Khanna’s own key to the code.. It’s only meaning could be – Concocted narrative that looks good & presentable on broadcast news media? Or actual fare of films ie box office collections of films? (Remember our blog over how the practice of heavily inflated box-office figures of many Bollywood films, being presented to media as real, could’ve possibly been happening since the 1970’s itself!?) . Or at an even darker level, indicative of flesh trade being carried out in the guise of film actresses/actors? Or the network of female actresses being bonded in some way to powerful people outside our borders?  Also indicated by phrases used in pt. 6.g.

Now does the word ‘Times of India’ mean it by itself, or its acronym ‘Toi’, Toy?

Does the term ‘Contest’ mean, how people from film industry had been regularly using inflated box-office figures to account for smuggled goods via toys?? What goods? Did it include hard drugs too?

Now does pt. 6.d & 6.e indicate also corroborate our 3 or more theories, in form of 3 photographs, & the names of the producers, each obviously not meaning they themselves as Mr. Khanna’s key to code clearly directs, but indicative of other things, namely powerful industrialists, pure profit-making businessmen, accountants, & even the NGO types, of both left or right sides, within India itself, leave aside others, as being part of it??

Now pt. 6.f  is perhaps indicative of how he was arm-twisted or threatened in some way to toe their line, lest he be physically hurt or defamed at hands of media? For all they could see was, not the contribution of this man to the nation or his pedigree or calibre & stature, but his political seat & the power of that seat alone.

Pt. 6.g. indicates how he refused to simply blindly permit all their activities, rather asked them for details of all their activities. Note the use of phrase “maa sakht hai, kadak hai, naram hai, middle class hai”. Clearly corroborating our theory of smuggled goods inside toys or some such things, drugs, or women, mostly of middle class or directed towards this middle class. Or ‘middle class’ referring to non-blockbusters shown as blockbusters in collections? Also corroborated by the line from his last video message, “Chheenna hai, ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaadke deta hai”.

Also the line “Bhai ameer hai, gareeb hai” referring to foreign nations, either rich or poor? Is the word ‘bhai’ used generally, or is it a reference to Muslim nations? Also, what does he mean by the phrase “Ye aadmi padha likha hai, anpadh hai, ya kuch bhi nahi”? Is he referring to different specific people, people from films connected to politics & to this?

All this too tough to provide concrete answers to, here.

Pt. 6.h. Another imp pt. Where his exact words are, “Toh Chopra sahab ne jhat se mujhe kaha,”Tum theatre se ho?””. Now either this is simply a qun, or does the wording mean, Chopra meaning Mr. Book-Keeper asking this thru someone else, some film person or persons??  Following which he goes “Maine kaha “ji””. Now is this simply a yes, or if broken into different separate words, does he say “Man ek Haji”. Is he referring to Haji Mastan, the erstwhile Don of Bombay who was famous for only allowing smuggling of gold & electronic goods at the most, & disallowing hard drugs or weapons from entering the country?? Or does the “Man ek Haji”, if at all this meaning, simply mean a “Man of God”, disallowing all illegal activities, small or big, including smuggling of gold & electronics?

All plausible quns, that we shall again not be able to provide concrete answers to.

 6.i. This pt indicates a different meaning to the word ‘maa’. Is he saying, that this was proposal made by the consortium, to him, to be then sold to the party head, but that Mr. Khanna refused to accept w/o learning more inside details? Or is this maa someone else?

 7.       Pt. 7.a. is where the consortium then, it seems, tries to get cosy with him, upon which he gets suspicious, thinking, how he having no godfathers in the political community to protect himself,                 would be easy prey to blackmail, decides to counter-threaten them with dirt he personally had (perhaps with proof of some sort?), on some of the people perhaps in some way involved with these whole behind-the-scenes machinations.

NOW ONE OF THE MOST PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATIONS HERE, REVOLVES AROUND HIS WORDS "AB KAATO TOH KHOON NAHI, PASINA CHHOOT RAHA THA". IS THIS A REFERENCE TO THE SUPER-SECRETIVE SUPRA-NATIONAL 'FREEMASONS' GANG ALSO OPERATIONAL IN INDIA SINCE TIMES OF BRITISH, NOW ALSO HAVING ACQUIRED ABOVE 'CONSORTIUM' ALONGWITH BIG BOLLYWOOD MEMBERSHIP, THE KNOWLEDGE OF (EXPOSING) WHICH MR. KHANNA TRIED TO USE AS COUNTER-THREAT TO THEIR DEATH THREATS?  

(Blog on Freemasonry

👇

https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/718873275475820544/freemasonry-indies-general-assessment-from?source=share )

The next line explains how he was scared of being illegally recorded/stung, & defamed as having a loose mouth, by people perhaps including big media houses, hence it seems might’ve instead played others’ secretly recorded tapes, secret tapes of people within the writers’ community bitching about their own community over drinks or something (does “Bhagwaan ka Aashirwad” refer to the name of some abode or hang-out? That 'blessing' being as consort or comfort or shelter or good fortune - so some name that's got to do with Janki? or Gauri? or Prabhu? or Lakshmi? or Bhagyalakshmi? or Devta? etc etc?).

The next line & pt onwards, is where things start getting very tricky, & very tough for bloggers like me to completely & unequivocally decipher, yet our research over this matter over several days, has broadly outlined 10 angles, each quite shocking in itself, also with the very loose evidentiary value available, that shall only be be able to offer broad outlines based on our (even if higher up) information.

We shall try to outright lay down these 10 angles, in the form of interpretation of the next line:

Also per Mr. Khanna’s 9 keys to code in his last video interview, involving:

i.         One of the sides being ‘young at heart’ & others as young, not necessarily bound by any time-period (’masoom ke saamne mayoosi’)

ii.       Necessarily people in some way connected to the film-industry, but not necessary official film-related incidents, rather their non-filmy personal life.

iii.      People, who either started off in films during 1965-66 or 1969-70 or came to prominence or to Mr. Khanna’s acquaintance at that time?

iv.     People who came into films by 1991 or 1992 or so, or connected in some way to the words ‘Sau’ & ‘dus’ ?

v.       Events before the 1996 period (per our decoding of Mr. Khanna’s words “chaalees saal pehle” per his own given formulae).

vi.     People either demanding or outright snatching away, using powerful connections atop. - “  Vo chahe tumhari hai ya nahi. Chheenna hai ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaad ke deta hai”.

vii. Does “Bhagwaan ka Aashirwad” refer to the name of some abode or hang-out? That 'blessing' being as consort or comfort or shelter or good fortune - so some name that's got to do with Janki? or Gauri? or Prabhu? or Lakshmi? or Bhagyalakshmi? or Devta? etc etc?

viii. Does "Bhagwaan ke ashirwaad" also refer to, how Khanna had Dilip Kumar's & Ashok Kumar’s blessings & inputs?

ix.    Has something to do with the phrase “Kaato toh khoon nahi. Pasina chhoot raha”.

8. Now basic proforma of pt. 8 is a set of 2 artists, who then ask, “What will you do after hearing my story?”. Followed by one of them or maybe both of them drinking from a "pyaala" (plausibly could be about the secret supra-national extra-constitutional 'Freemasonry' cult in India growing since times of British, (note the phrase: "jaise suhani subah darawni raat mein palat gayi ho",possibly also a reference to Illuminati gang, & its symbol, owl?), causing him/her/them to start operating from hiding or while hiding his/her/their true identity or true face, whilst the other(s) as result of same event beginning to find more success in some way, but themselves trapped for life? Culminating in a showdown, either between someone, maybe Mr.Khanna himself on some occasions, & the set of artists, or between the artists & someone else blackmailing to keep this secret from going public, the result necessarily involving a concerted attempt thereon to try secretly keep causing harm to Mr. Khanna. And last scenario being of someone possibly coming as positive influence & as matter of solace & comfort.

Now combining pts 7 & 8, we have come up with 10 angles to be broadly laid out,

(Herein, would be unkind if didn’t thank a whole lot of people/sources who helped online in piecing together all possible angles that we could holistically & concretely come up with, during the 3-4 days we collectively banged our heads over this riddle).

1st angle – Mr. Khanna’s own drugged state at that point compared to his previous state, highly over-sensitive & prone to fright? A pitiful state he was reduced to, on account of his systematic secret drugging, on for long, but increased after his taped revelations?

Remember the line from his last video interview – “Hum bhi baithe hain rah-o-dar mein, tera milna khushi ki baat rahi. Tujhe milke hum udaas rehte hain, varna hum bauhut kum udaas rehte hain” & “Uparwala hai, chhapr phaad ke deta hai”. As also pt.9c. from his last audio - "Pyaar aap mujhe bhejte rahe, pyar vo mujhe milta raha, lekin us pyar ko main kabhi lauta nahi paya".

-An indication of his liquor or food for yrs on end being heavily spiked with hard drugs, via we guess an army of paid servants & outside control & direction via rigged cctc cameras?

By whom we don’t know. And finally with him meeting new love, later in life.  

(We know for a fact how he was left alone by himself at his bungalow, by his family for more than a decade. We don’t know who’s & how many are to blame, & make of all this what you will).

But the last line of pt. 8 applied here - “Jo teri aankh ka bismil nahi, vo kehne vo dil toh hai magar dil nahi” indicates, he’d figured out that everyone that came into his life later on, that claimed to be innocent & naive, & that he came to inadvertently depend upon, wasn’t someone he felt he could trust?

2nd angle – A reference to some form of match-fixing? You know, purposely edging the ball or offering one’s wicket, even when at loss of own team. Or basically designing cricket matches, per bookies? Involving a set of 2 lover or partner  ‘artists’, one a cricketer (an injured cricketer?) & the other an actor, with Mr. Khanna or someone else unconnected to or in touch with Mr. Khanna as an unagreeable confidante (maybe getting to know from Anju, ex of both him & Gary Sobers?), causing relations to turn sour?

3rd angle- A scenario of jealousy among fellow actors-actresses, basically injury to one’s own reputation or self-esteem, over the rise to supremacy of another actor/actress of the time? This could be a story common to more than 1 artist. (Remember the child, a child in Mr. Khanna’s eyes, that we referred to earlier?) (Does it have some connection with the years 1991-1992 or the words ‘sau’ or ‘dus’ ? We wouldn’t know. And some sorta deal/(supari?) to get that actor ‘outta the way’? And ofcourse with either Mr. Khanna or someone he knew or came to know of later, as confidante? Is it about a very famous actress that debuted in 1991 & died in 1993, the ‘andhi’/blind from Mr. Khanna’s message, that figured out the presence of Illuminati in Bollywood & became a threat?

4th angle- A scenario involving a singer & a composer or a writer. And a confrontation btwn the 2, causing undercutting by the more powerful one, causing one to have to sit at home, while the other flourished. Followed by a via association with another fan of that artist, also in some way connected to the words ‘shabnam se bhi mulayam’. And Mr. Khanna confronting that artist later outta concern for the via association, causing friction thereafter for life?

5th Angle- Some high profile intra-Bollywood marriage in 1965 or 1966? With one of marrying artists noticeably inactive (made more so? drugged?) thereafter? Followed by a later 2nd marriage by that lesser in control person from previous marriage, that's gotten dissolved u/pressure,for fear of not being from 'community'?  

6th angle- Of a person that had become famous in art circles & the nation, for his voice, before turning actor, & who had to make big compromises & take the wrong path, 'drink the cup of evil' svp, to jockey for & bag such a job, in some way connected to songs? In some entt profession not designed for face-to-face interaction? & Who also became famous or known for his off-screen pairing later on, with someone, a star who was a fan of his voice from before films, who was oblivious to his devious alliances past?

7th Angle- A reference to sexual activity with non-pubescent girls within some family-like unit? With a confrontation later, from within the family, we don’t know which family, causing a rushed up settlement of sorts of non-monetary nature?   And ofcourse that Mr. Khanna came to know of? .. Is this connected to the twisted ‘Freemasons’ cult & their awful rituals in some way?

8th & 9th Angle- We envision 2 set of artists from the line "Kya karoge meri kahani sunke?". One set is of 2 writers, & the other set is of a director & a producer. 

We don’t know the set of 2 artists involved here, but some association here too, as in all above eg’s with some ‘shabnam se bhi mulayam’ person (different person in each angle) (an 'andhi' who couldn't see what was in front of her or staring at her, or some such scenario?), and perhaps culminating in Mr Khanna’s confrontation with the 2, that he perhaps suffered for later?

10th angle - A director/producer-actor duo, the director known for working almost exclusively with only one actor, & also for making pleasing violent action films (”jitna bhayanak tha mera chehra utne hi madhur the mere geet”)? And a similar interaction with a much younger "andhi" (ignorant) newcomer (”shabnam se bhi mulayam”) actress, a fan coming to express her appreciation, that the actor instead falls head over heels in love with & proposes marriage, that the producer prevents from happening, perhaps for wanting her as a bride for one of his own family wards, also in full apprenticeship & on the scene?

Is there a reference in these scenarios, to the story that was played a lot in recent times on Sm, over the ghastly longstanding mafia activity, of child-trafficking & of (drugged) human-trafficking/flesh trade, in first case where kids’ nails are pulled painfully, to induce pain & tears of pain in them, those tears then collected & processed into a drug that promises longevity & youthful looks? The 2nd case, aside general drugged flesh trade, could also perhaps involve sex-for-cinema quid-pro-quo btwn artists & those pulling strings, as alluded to by pt. 8.h. “tumhe chandni raaton se hai mohabbat aur main aankhon se barsata hoon sitare”? Is the reference to ‘eye’ also indicative of it’s control by the twisted death cult ‘Illuminati’ here?

9.       This basically involves Kaka saheb summarizing how his underground clashes with the celeb world, over unethical practices, caused him to make lotsa enemies, enemies that then pursued a clandestine defamation drive against him in media over next few decades, & how this was further exacerbated by the enemies he furthermore made via the above-mentioned 5 scenarios. Enemies who might well be putting up a facade of being very good & benevolent & friendly in public, but that have secretly done the most harm to him behind his back. By planting stories against him in media for decades, putting him down at every given turn, ridiculing him, belittling, & downright stealing away his laurels, & the very qualities that earned him those laurels. These people as he put it ’wedded to & partners with’ their nefarious confidantes.  Note the phrase: "vo khubsoorat kamyaabi ki seedi, chadhne ka mauka, ye sehra toh aapke sar hai".  

Is his reference then to "yahan patthar toh bahut milte hain magar dil nahi milta" also a direct indication to the large number of Freemasons around, sweetly yet cunningly plotting against him, that he knows of?

Lastly reminding as well as thanking us, the people, perhaps referring to the people who voted him to power in actual huge numbers (whatever the official records say). Ending with a big thankyou, firstly in his normal language, next in modern English, & finally in a rather theatrical filmy darbari way (”bauhat bauhat salaam”).

Note: Also re-read first & last para of his last video interview here. - Is he asking us, the new generation or changed society to take heed from this, & openly shun drug culture, for sake of cinema & society at large?

So here we end this interp, having tried our best to piece together this rather long-drawn puzzle, a puzzle written by the Master of Masters himself, a man voted by higher powers than us, as the greatest actor in the history of the acting profession the world over!

And doing as best a job as we could’ve, within our very limited resources.

People will obviously come to their own conclusions in the end, but this for the first time is The Great One’s side of the story, even if in a rather rough gross & rudimentary riddle form.

Yet better than nothing, for a story of one of history’s most cherished ever chapters, long dominated in narration by just one camp, a camp not his own.

A camp that couldn’t physically do away with him, such was the sheer enormity & magnitude of his achievements, any such attempt that were to surely only exponentially raise that already permanently hallowed stature in public imagination. Hence instead that tried to do away with the imagination itself.

 And this is what they turned The Greatest Personality in the Known History of India, into, close to the end.(Before, we’re guessing, chemotherapy for his then developed cancer, detoxified him of his drugged system!)

Shame on them.  

This is us offering the greatest obeisance that we can pay to our dearest beloved actor-leader. By trying to decrypt his creativity, a creativity & imagination we know to always emerge from the depths of core truths & righteousness.- That’s the reason he was called the ‘Rama-Krishna’ of Films in some circles too! … ‘Upar Aaka, Neeche Kaka!” was how it’d always end.

This, a gift from his followers - & for what he perhaps always craved for the most – The feeling of being ‘His own’.

R.I.P. O LOVELY ONE!

P.S.: SOME MORE FROM THE CAESAR FILES:

I. RAJESH'S NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOREIGN INTERVIEW:

A never-before-seen & just released EYE-OPENING interview of Rajesh Khanna from 1990 > ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HJEyKCn398  ) (remember, this is just after having 'lost' his 1st political election in 1989, & before his 2nd election & his heavy-duty return to politics), back stage having just completed his stage show, which upon interpretation, brings further clarity to our investigation, on the atrocities committed on The Greatest One, where Mr. Khanna reveals-

1. Clearly expresses his firm opinion on the whole star-superstar media razzmatazz nonsense.  

2. His opinion on many things under the sun (eg his approval of live-in relationships as the change of the times), 3. Shares few personal details none knew about, & 4. Clearly, in final mins of interview, chooses to forcibly & deliberately insert his comments at opportune moment, on his clandestine drug-spiking that'd been going on for past >3 yrs (since 1888 atleast per our analysis), in the end even throwing an open sugar-coated challenge to his enemies to come face-to-face with him & not trouble instead from behind.

II. Another important addition to our interview set, from Mr. Arun Bakshi who worked with The Greatest in both 1987-88 in Avam & then in 1989-90 on Swarg, who confirms how Kakasaheb was suffering from ‘confidence issues’ in 1990 atleast, & how would retake shots on the next day like never before, for reasons unknown to all then, & that we now know lot more about.

Note -Infact a ‘confidence issue’ that we know all the causes for, that also caused his weird repeated self-assertion of ‘star se superstar bana’ etc to all & sundry in press meets,   esp 2000s on, many yrs into his jailing,   caused not on account of self-boasting (ever heard a God of anything,  and he actually was & always shall remain the God of acting, needing to boast about him being God of this & that?), but a reminder to himself of who he was & who he is, due to the severe drug-imprisonment induced upon him. .. VO KISI AUR KO NAHI, KHUD KO YAAD DILAYA KARTE THE, KI VO KAUN THE & AUR KAUN HAIN.

HE WOULD REMIND HIMSELF, & NOT OTHERS OF HIS GREATNESS, IN HIS LAST YEARS, & NOT ON ACCOUNT OF FRUSTRATION, BUT ANGER, AT HAVING BEEN SEEMINGLY REDUCED TO A FARCE (& A FOREVER TIMID ATTEMPT AT THAT, SUCH HIS UNIMAGINABLY ENORMOUS LEGACY), & MOST IMPORTANTLY, DIMINISHED IN STATUS EVEN IF POST-RETIREMENT ALONE, NOT FOR A FAULT AT ALL OF HIS OWN.

AND NOT THAT IT'S NEEDED, YET TO ANSWER EVEN THE FEW HANDFUL DOUBTERS IN THE WEST (GIVEN THAT HE IS A VERY WELL KNOWN FIGURE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE NOW) BRED ON THE 'FADED STAR CRAVING ATTENTION & RELEVANCY' NARRATIVE OVER GENERATIONS, AS WE'VE SEEN IN SO MANY FILMS OF THE WEST- YOU THINK A MAN WHO'S LITERALLY ACHIEVED, IN MY OPINION, 20,000 TIMES MORE THAN THE AVERAGE GREAT OF HIS PROFESSION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WOULD CRAVE RELEVANCY & SEEK APPROVAL, INTO HIS 60'S?!

THIS IS NOT A COMMON ONCE-GREAT TALE, THIS IS THE STORY OF THE GRAVEST INJUSTICE INFLICTED IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTERTAINMENT PROFESSION. INFACT OF THE GRAVEST OF ALL CRIMES, COMMITTED ON THE TRADITIONALLY NOBLE ENTERTAINMENT PROFESSION ITSELF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5YYik1cvSA

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[tonkismartphone]

Grim dawn map of plains of strife

#GRIM DAWN MAP OF PLAINS OF STRIFE TORRENT#

Reflecting blaze on blaze against the skies.įorth march'd the chief, and distant from the crowd, So from Achilles' head the splendours rise, With long-projected beams the seas are bright,Īnd heaven's high arch reflects the ruddy light: Thick on the hills the flaming beacons blaze When men distress'd hang out the sign of war ) (Seen from some island, o'er the main afar, The smokes, high curling to the shaded skies Her aegis Pallas o'er his shoulder throws Īround his brows a golden cloud she spread Had not high Juno from the realms of air, So watchful shepherds strive to force, in vain, Nor yields a step, nor from his post retires: With fiercer shouts his lingering troops he fires, Thrice to the skies the Trojan clamours flew:īut check'd, he turns repuls'd, attacks again. Thrice the slain hero by the foot he drew The rage of Hector o'er the ranks was borne. Pour'd on the rear, and thunder'd close behind:Īnd like a flame through fields of ripen'd corn, The horse, the foot, with equal fury join'd, Safe through the tempest to the tented shore. Nor yet their chiefs Patroclus' body bore Urge to broad Hellespont their headlong course That all shall know Achilles swells the tide."Īnd now the Greeks from furious Hector's force,

#GRIM DAWN MAP OF PLAINS OF STRIFE TORRENT#

Soon shall the sanguine torrent spread so wide, In vain you hold me-Hence! my arms! my arms!. Yes, I shall give the fair those mournful charms. Shall I not force her breast to heave with sighs,Īnd the soft tears to trickle from her eyes? With frantic hands her long dishevell'd hair? Shall I not force some widow'd dame to tear Let me, this instant, rush into the fields,Īnd reap what glory life's short harvest yields. No more the Grecian hope, or Trojan dread! So shall Achilles fall! stretch'd pale and dead, To Juno's hate, at length resign'd his breath,Īnd sunk the victim of all-conquering death. The great Alcides, Jove's unequall'd son, The stroke of fate the strongest cannot shun: Yes-I will meet the murderer of my friend Sweet to the soul, as honey to the taste:įrom fiery blood, and darkening all the mind. Wrath and revenge from men and gods remove:įar, far too dear to every mortal breast, More useful to preserve, than I to kill,) (Others in council famed for nobler skill, Since here, for brutal courage far renown'd, Since, unrevenged, a hundred ghosts demand He fell, and falling, wish'd my aid in vain. When Hector falls, thou diest."-"Let Hector die,įar lies Patroclus from his native plain! "Ah then, I see thee dying, see thee dead! On these conditions will I breathe: till then,Ī flood of tears, at this, the goddess shed: Let me revenge it on proud Hector's heart, 'Tis not in fate the alternate now to give New woes, new sorrows, shall create again. Had caused such sorrows past, and woes to come.įor soon, alas! that wretched offspring slain, Pursued the pleasures of the watery reign: O hadst thou still, a sister of the main, On Peleus Hector bears the glorious load.Ĭursed be that day, when all the powers above Lost are those arms the gods themselves bestow'd Patroclus, loved of all my martial train, Not even the Thunderer's favour brings relief. He, deeply groaning-"To this cureless grief, Their sacred seats, the glimmering grotto fill'd Įach beat her ivory breast with silent woe, The circling Nereids with their mistress weep,Īnd all the sea-green sisters of the deep.Īnd the blue languish of soft Alia's eye.Īll these, and all that deep in ocean held Heard his loud cries, and answer'd groan for groan. The mother-goddess from her crystal throne The latter part of the nine-and-twentieth day, and the night ensuing, take up this book: the scene is at Achilles' tent on the sea-shore, from whence it changes to the palace of Vulcan.įar in the deep abysses of the main, The description of the wonderful works of Vulcan: and, lastly, that noble one of the shield of Achilles. Thetis goes to the palace of Vulcan to obtain new arms for her son. The grief of Achilles over the body of Patroclus. The Trojans call a council, where Hector and Polydamas disagree in their opinions: but the advice of the former prevails, to remain encamped in the field. The sight of him turns the fortunes of the day, and the body of Patroclus is carried off by the Greeks. Iris appears to Achilles by the command of Juno, and orders him to show himself at the head of the intrenchments. The speeches of the mother and son on this occasion. Thetis, hearing his lamentations, comes with all her sea- nymphs to comfort him. The news of the death of Patroclus is brought to Achilles by Antilochus. The Grief of Achilles, and New Armour Made Him by Vulcan.