#tough category i must say

[laurapetrie]

THE LAST TYCOON (2017) I’ll stand there and bloom. After he kisses me - I bloom, I told you. How often do I have to tell you I bloom? - F. Scott Fitzgerald

[macgyvertape]

It's pretty fun to think about what perks SPECIAL build Lucy, Maximus, and The Ghoul have since it feels like the writers had that as character reference, even though it varies in implementation from game to game.

I'd say the obvious is The Ghoul has level 10 Charisma, Lucy somewhere in the middle, and Maximus though I love him has 1 or 2 since he isn't passing any speech skill checks. Where Maximus really shines is with Strength and Endurance since he takes a lot of hits that he can keep fighting through. Lucy seems to be spread with a few points in a lot of categories from her introductory pitch but a focus on Intelligence and Charisma, which reminded me of my first character where I did a few points in a lot of categories which then made combat very hard. Overall considering how all three characters finish the show alive with all limbs (re)attached they must have a decent Luck stat.

As for perks:

The Ghoul - it's pretty obvious he has Bloody Mess: "Increased damage with all weapons, and enemies can explode upon death." There's 2 big fight scenes where it's him vs multiple enemies and it with how many shots he gets off, it seems like he has Grim Reaper's Sprint: which returns action points when killing an enemy. Then we see him cut up Roger the ghoul for meat so he also has the Cannibal perk. I'm not sure whether the game would class him as Chem Resistant with how he shrugs off Lucy's dart, or if that would fall under addiction mechanics.

Lucy - an obvious guess is the FO3 perk Daddy's Girl: "Just like dear old Dad, you’ve devoted your time to intellectual pursuits. You gain an additional 5 points to both the Science and Medicine skills." Her rewiring of Mr Handy suggests Robotics Expert. I might be reading too much into the random encounters she has, but she has a number of them so something like Wild Wasteland makes sense.

Maximus - Toughness: which reduces damage threshold/damage taken is an obvious one. He notably doesn't have power armor repair skills, but in older games a perk like Power Armor Training was needed to use it. There's a few different melee attack perks in the games but Fo4 Big Leagues fits well

[kyannae]

HIS NAME，↷ cheongmyeong.

summary: in which, these were the times where you called his name. a hundred years later, he finds himself reminiscing about it.

category: ANGST. and maybe some fluff???? like...5% i think...

warnings: gn!reader , idk how bad the angst is to others but personally i find it quite sad , i think that's all

a/n: ERM. SO. whenever i open tiktok i only see cheongmyeong. i see him everywhere. and it's all angst. so i am sad. 😓

"cheongmyeong!" you would call, looking at him with a stern gaze. the said boy would glance at you from the tree he was on, before smirking. "oh? i swear i heard senior y/n for a second...i must be hearing things." he'd joke, before chugging down more alcohol. looking at your exasperated expression, he'd laugh again, taunting you by waving his bottle of alcohol.

"cheongmyeong." you would say, frowning at him as you hav caught him, yet again, stealing alcohol. "ehehehe ...." he'd laugh sheepishly, slowly moving towards the door and making a dash for it. "cheongmyeong! come back here!"

"cheeeongmyeeeonnggg~" you'd call, throwing yourself onto him during drinking sessions. (which you only participated in once in a blue moon.) "ack! get off me!" he'd complain, but make no effort to pry you off. tang bo would snicker, teasing the man endlessly.

"cheongmyeong..." you would say softly, embracing him and planting a kiss to the crown of his head, comforting him when things got tough. before he was the plum blossom sword saint, he was just cheongmyeong.

"cheongmyeong, the sect leader is calling for you." a hand was placed on his shoulder. the boy whipped his head around, and he swore that he saw you for a second- smiling at him softly. but then he blinked, and it was just jong yoon. "cheongmyeong...?" jong yoon hesitantly vocalized, seeing as he didn't respond, but was also afraid that the younger would beat him to a pulp.

"yeah, yeah." cheongmyeong got up, dusting himself off. placing both hands behind his back, he headed off to the sect leader, carrying a mountain of responsibilities along with him- jong yoon missing the wistful and melancholic look on his face.

© kyannae

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Can I Be More Connected to My Community? (LGBTQ+ EDITION)

Hello all! In this week’s edition of the Women’s History Month tarot series, I have decided to add a more specifically inclusive topic to this series. I will be reading on how you can develop more connections with women in your community. 🫶 Using my LGBTQ+ tarot deck, I will get to the bottom of this. Without further ado, pick your pile.

***Disclaimer: The purpose of this reading is to help women/femmes connect with other women/femmes! Much love. 🫶

Left-to-Right (1-6):

Pile One: Pile One, I feel like you have some issues with women in general. This is what a sociologist would call internalized misogyny. Every woman goes through this at some point but I am picking up on bisexual femme/*general* lesbian energy. This is what is keeping you from being in close company with other women. How are you going to be distrusting of women if this is what you are trying to attract? Whether romantically or platonically, I feel like you need to open up your world a bit. I feel like you can be particularly distrusting of women who mirror your energy, which is ironic. There is some shadow work that must be done for self-forgiveness. You have not forgiven yourself for something that could have happened at work or school? Some type of situationship perhaps. Or maybe you have the tendency to get into crash-and-burn type of relationships, which explains your lack of trust. Learn how to take things easy and slowly; lean into those gut feelings. The type of women you will attract in your circle/community will be women that aren’t afraid to apologize and take accountability. You need people around you that are going to be there for you when you fall. I get the feeling that the people attracted to this are people who are on medication. A bonus tip: Take your medication please! (this is coming from someone who has to do so as well). You need to be around people that will ground you and make sure that you aren’t too imbalanced. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Fuck fear.”

“You are going through some tough shit.”

“You need a good fucking cry.”

“You need some fucking yoga in your life.”

Cards Used: The Star (RX), Knight of Wands, The World, Four of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, Temperance, Ten of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, The High Priestess, The Empress, Two of Wands, Five of Swords and Nine of Pentacles (RX).

extras: mommy issues. being the wild card. “gone with the wind.” melanie martinez. aries. bryson tiller. makeup forever. yo perreo sola by bad bunny. rue bennett. BPD. card games. playful energy. “likewise.” roaches/blunts. twitter fingers. snapbacks. jordan dunks. cheeky underwear.

Pile Two: Pile Two, your message is similar to Pile One’s. I feel you need to stop being so male-centered or heteronormative. You could be agender but have a partner who falls into the binary, and this make you feel conflicted on what gender roles you should take on. You could be a lesbian who looks for a specific woman to play the “man” or the “woman” in the relationship. You could be a transwoman who is hyperfixated on not being clocked. You could identify as bisexual but have a cishet partner, and because of this, you feel fraudulent. If you fit into any of these categories, I feel like the main thing you need to know is you shouldn’t beat yourself up for being bold enough to express yourself the way you want to. You should, however, examine the relationship that you have with men/masculine. Whether you like it or not, you’re holding yourself to a standard that a man created and therefore, you are playing into misogyny. You are defying the odds in some way, shape or form and it has been done for years. Stop putting the people who oppress you on a pedestal. I feel like you’ve been around too many straight/cis-heterosexual people or internalize their ideas. The first step is to grieve your old self. You need to step into the version of yourself that is forward-thinking and pioneering. This can be a lonely road to take but it’s going to help you get to the people that you seek. You’re supposed to be around people who protest; strong, independent thinkers who do not take no for an answer. Reintroduce yourself to the world, Pile Two and great people will await you. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“You got a feeling you just can’t shake.”

“It’s dark and you can’t see a fucking thing.”

“Get over yourself. Pull your shit together.”

You need a good fucking cry.”

“Put the fucking phone down”

Cards Used: Eight of Swords, Four of Swords, Nine of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, Four of Wands (RX), King of Wands (RX), Ten of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Four of Cups, Five of Cups, Ace of Wands.

extras: but i’m a cheerleader. “Dani”. can’t back down by camp rock cast. leather boots. lots of rings. chunky highlights. recently got a car wash. need for pampering. long legs. stylish. fringe. long eyelashes. brimmed coats. new york. miami. LA. colored eyes. flashy jewelry. the color gold. pigs.

Pile Three: Pile Three, you honestly could just keep doing you. I feel like people are naturally drawn to you. Your energy reminds me of my friend who is friends with other gay women and she’s so likable. You could honestly vibe with anyone. You could fall in any LGBTQ category, but you have a big heart. I’m not going to lie though, Pile Three, you can come on too hard with some people; especially those who are on the shy side. So, calm it downnnn just a bit. People appreciate your community organizing efforts though. I feel like you’re known in your local community just for being friendly, helpful and wanting better for the LGBTQ+ community. This is something you take pride in. I feel like something that you can do to attract more LGBTQ+ women in your life is to actually do the opposite of Pile One. I feel like you tend to draw in all types of people, so you have the tendency to be disappointed by people’s actions. Be more protective of your energy and you’ll attract more community members like yourself. People who have ideas that are as big as yours. People who want to change the world. People who want to leave behind old traditions. People who have dreams that they actively pursue. Your energy is just so precious and bright, Pile Three. You really need to be careful. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Stop talking.”

“It’s dark and you can’t see a fucking thing”

“Rebel”

Cards Used: Knight of Swords, Justice (RX), King of Wands, The Moon, Page of Pentacles, Four of Cups (RX), The Star, Seven of Wands, Three of Swords, Page of Swords, The Hermit, King of Pentacles, Three of Cups, The Sun, Eight of Cups, The Hanged Man, Page of Cups.

extras: stripes. fruit lover. small hoops. glasses. checklist. virgos. the color blue. mondays. morning people. cash register. mom friend. goofball. nice smile. shoulder length hair. bright pajamas. trans right advocate.

Pile Four: Pile Four, you’re like really smart and confident. This could rub people the wrong way though. I feel like your energy is only for certain people, you’re not everyone’s cup of tea. I think that you were probably born in the wrong state or town. You probably are the only queer/trans person in town when you’re supposed to be in a place like Dallas, California or Atlanta. Relocation is the move for you definitely. I get this sense that you’re the token gay friend. The energy feels awkward. I feel like where you’re right now is for school and you’re just trying to stick it out for now. But if you are able to move, please do so. If you cannot though, the steps that you need to take toward having more community is pushing past the people that you encounter on a daily basis. You aren’t looking hard enough for your types of people. You keep circling the same places instead of trying out that new activity. The old fashioned way of seeking community is out! Perhaps, you should download Tinder or actually go to that event at school. If all else fails, you should start a club for LGBTQ+ students and see who shows up. You will know that you’ve found your people by looking outside the box; the outcasts; the quiet people; the loners. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Laugh”

“Eat your fucking vegetables”

“Rebel”

Cards Used: Strength, Eight of Cups (RX), King of Cups, Two of Swords, Six of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, Seven of Swords, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Cups, Justice, Seven of Pentacles, The High Priestess, The Lovers (RX), The Emperor.

extras: scorpio energy. pasta and lobster. aquarius. rap music. banana. artsy. theater kid. biracial. young thug. “cordial.” patience is key. “get lost.” bree runway.

Pile Five: Pile Five, you’re quite the mysterious one, aren’t you? Your energy feels so discreet. I feel like you’ve done the work to be perceived as more approachable but you still feel a little empty. I think you need to take a vacation. You work so hard, maybe a little too hard. This will be where you find your *gay* people. The feeling of being burned out comes to mind. It feels like you’re a loner. Maybe you’re Pile Four’s type of people lol. You need to be refreshed. I think you actually need to go outside. Soak in the sun, go to the beach, the park, somewhere outdoors. It feels like you don’t have people around you. You’re isolated. You stay to yourself but doesn’t that get lonely, Pile Five? I would also say consider making long distance friends or internet friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community in order to combat this loneliness. I also would say that you need to put in more effort to maintain these friendships as well. The types of people that you will be attracting are the genuine friendships where you go bar hopping with them. You need people around who are going to keep you light on your feet and entertain you with the latest news about how Gay #1 is secretly in love with Bisexual #2. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Take a fucking trip”

“You are talented and fucking amazing”

“Shit is going down with your job”

Cards Used: Six of Swords, The Empress, The Magician, The Hanged Man, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Justice, The World, The Star, Death, Ace of Swords, Three of Cups, King of Swords, Two of Swords.

extras: “quiet as a church mouse.” purple. wigs. red nails. “you’re so dry.” day-by-day. bad at texting. celebrity gossip. spirituality. meditation.

Pile Six: Pile Six, you’re so scandalous lmao. I don’t want to be the one to say this but you need to stop sleeping and/or flirting with women’s partners. It scares off potential friends and it causes people to not trust you. Another thing you need to stop doing is kissing your friends. You need to draw some lines between platonic and romantic relationships. And if you are polyamorous, your favorites are starting to show; show love equally or expect a mess to blow up in your face. You need to expand outward, Pile Six. I know people are making a spectacle of your love life and you don’t understand why but remember this: Every habit that you have is connected to how you treat others. People take notice of this. You moved like you’re in a small room, dear. You need to expand! Expand your circle of lovers; stop messing with people in the smalltown that you’re in when you should be with someone in the city. Instead of taking offense to other people’s words, you should be doing some self-introspection. Why do you do the things that you do? Is it for attention? Out of boredom? Out of desperation? For revenge? You should take up a hobby and find a new passion. This may be where you find your people. I think that being around people who are older/more mature than you would benefit you. You need to be around a community of people who are mothers/act like mothers. They have stories to tell and you will gain knowledge from them. You will feel understood. They won’t judge you ‘cause they’ve been there. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“You are going through some tough shit”

“You = Tight ass”

“Fuck fear”

“They broke your heart”

Cards Used: Temperance (RX), Judgment (RX), The Magician, The Star, Queen of Wands, Five of Cups, Nine of Swords, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Three of Wands, Page of Swords (RX), The Messenger (Hierophant), Eight of Pentacles, Knight of Wands (RX).

extras: pisces. cuticles. cucumbers. questioning. dominance. foreplay. sexual education. “you clean up nice.” fake drunk. long dresses. cocoa brown complexion.

[dark-frosted-heart]

The Beast's User Manual - Clavis (Part 1)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Case. 1: How to calm Clavis down when he thinks up a bad idea

Clavis: By the way, Emma. I have a great idea.

During our usual early morning breakfast, Clavis made an exciting announcement.

As I was about to bring some brightly colored food to my mouth when I paused in a panic because in Lelouchian, “great” actually meant “bad”.

Emma: By the way, Clavis, it’s a nice day isn’t it? A great day for a picnic, don’t you think?

Clavis: Haha, it’ll definitely be easier to spend time with the thick clouds and lack of sunlight. 

Emma: I know right! I’ll make lunch boxes and we can have it together.

Clavis: Good, good. Let’s eat somewhere in public.

Emma: Where?

Clavis: The office.

Emma: I refuse.

Clavis: But why not? What’s the point of having a lunch box made by your beloved if you can’t show it off? 

Emma: Because I’m making it only for you, so I don’t want anyone else to see it…

Emma: Rather, I want to say the reason I want to hide it is because it’s a strange lunch box made to Clavis’ taste…

Clavis: Haha, what’s there to be ashamed of? Your lunch boxes are the best in the world, I can vouch for it. After all, your cooking’s filled with nothing but love. I’m sure everyone will be envious of me. We must make a big deal about it, not only to Chevalier, but also to Nokto, Luke, the bureaucrats, nobles, and servants as well.

Emma: We really shouldn’t?!

Clavis: Anyway, Emma, back to the matter at hand—

(This isn’t good…I couldn’t force a change in topic!)

(In these kinds of situations, if I don’t make a immediately take action, the conversation will continue the way it is)

I set down my cutlery and kissed Clavis on the cheek as he continued his delightful chatter.

It was an act of desperation that suppressed my embarrassment.

Alluring golden eyes widened and I broke into a smile.

Clavis is weak to these kinds of surprise attacks.

Emma: We’re not done talking about the picnic yet.

Clavis: You’re right, please excuse me.

Clavis’ lips relaxed and he hugged my waist before kissing me on the cheek.

His repeated pecks were ticklish.

Emma:  W-what are you in the mood for today, Clavis?

Clavis: That’s a tough question, Emma…

Emma: Eh…

Clavis: There’s no way I could compare the things you cook.

Emma: Meaning, anything’s fine.

Clavis: Anything’s fine. Your home cooking has its own category. The fact that it’s a lunch box made by a loved one makes it priceless. 

(It’s typical of Clavis to be able to say such a thing so easily)

Clavis: Hmm…

Emma: What’s wrong?

Clavis: It’s nothing. I just thought that my lovely fiancee’s smile was really bright today.  

(This mood…)

I closed my eyes as his golden ones approached, and he placed a light kiss on my lips.

He lovingly caressed my cheeks and the mood contrasted with the colorful dishes spread out on the table.

I kissed back and opened my eyes, dizzy from Clavis’ charm.

(We’ve kissed so many times by now, but my heart still makes a fuss)

(But I’m getting off topic—)

Clavis: So, Emma. After the picnic, let’s do something nice.

(Ah…this is bad)

There’s two patterns to Clavis’ schemes, misdirection or never giving up on something.

Looks like today’s the latter. In that case, I have no choice but to concede.

(But I’m not as scared as I used to be. I don’t know what he’s scheming—)

Clavis: Several jewelry dealers are scheduled to have dinner with us today. We’re having a small party, but what do you think will happen when we show off our love?

Emma: I think you can get the message across without having to show off.

Clavis: Yes, they’ll definitely pay us tribute. At any rate, the purpose of the company’s for me to arrange export destinations. I wonder how much jewelry will be collected to gain my favor. I’ll arrange a deal with the one whose jewelry best suits your taste as an honor to the winner. Well, Emma, we’re going to have a busy day. I’ll need to work on a lovey-dovey plan.

Emma: Clavis, you just want to do the lovey-dovey plan don’t you?!

Clavis: Hahaha!

(Sounds like today’s “good thing” will be a lot of work…Oh well)

(Clavis just wanted to amuse me)

[immediatebreakfast]

In this entry, aside from Mina's conflicted and very sad outlook of Jonathan's disappearance, we the dynamics that both Mina and Lucy have practiced so much in their social enviroment in a very impressive manner as their conversation companions are creaky, cynical, and opiniated old men.

It's a very tough public for both Mina, and Lucy since (despite Lucy being a noble) the balance scale of social acceptance points today towards Mr. Swales because of his age, on top of him and his friends having a very specific pecking order. However, Mina and Lucy know exactly what to say, what to do, how to pry, and how to respond in such an impressive manner that this scene (which let's be honest could have been very awkward to read if done incorrectly) went pretty smoothly.

Mina notes, and comments on how Mr. Swales group is connected, how does the Sir Oracle can react to her questions, and how to be a foil for Lucy's sweet demeanor towards the elders that places Mina on the "I can discuss with this one" category on the conversation. Mina also employs her self taught journalist skills to keep Mr. Swales talking on the topic she wants to hear, along with having the correct type of replies that doesn't let the conversation get stale.

"To please their relatives, I suppose."

With a simple phrase Mina can steer the flow of the whole conversation as she writes.

On the other hand, Lucy is very adept in making sure that she pleases everyone with her demeanor. She is very sweet by nature, but as we have seen Lucy does not simply rely on her sweetness to get to people, she knows that it's not enough. If they are in a small crowd of old men, Lucy acts like a grandaughter, even expressing distress for sitting on a grave in a way that is familiar for Mr. Swales to simply comfort her. On top of noticing that Mina didn't know how to react, and quickly "not dropping the ball" by saying this:

I did not know what to say, but Lucy turned the conversation as she said, rising up:— "Oh, why did you tell us of this? It is my favourite seat, and I cannot leave it; and now I find I must go on sitting over the grave of a suicide."

Notice that Lucy does express her distate at sitting on top of a grave of suicide, but she doesn't say that she will move to another seat, instead Lucy says how she doesn't like to know that her favorite seat is a grave because she cannot leave it. Lucy didn't give any "opportunity" to Mr. Swales to take any kind of jab at her.

It's a very good scene that lets Mina, and Lucy's social skills shine like the sun.

[liesmyth]

Further to Keeley saying yes to marrying Roy (definitely agree), how much would Roy only be asking because he thinks that's what you do. Like he's retired, he's forty, and all his former teammates are married/have kids. He's a traditional guy (kind of) - would he have waited for them to have been together for two years (or whatever) and then proposed because that's the next step?

Context: this is a follow-up to this 'unpopular opinion meme' ask where I said that (to me, etc) Keeley would've said yes if Roy ever asked her to marry him post S2.

In general, I just looove to overthink gender roles and performative heterosexuality with these characters, because the mix of sports series + juicy queer dynamics is like catnip to my brain — so thank you for this ask so I can ramble about it some more!

The thing is. I think Roy's actually not very traditional for a footballer (let alone a very famous one) simply because he's close to forty and he's never been married and doesn't have kids. Like, genuinely, that makes him a huge oddity in his set. If I were applying RL football logic to the football show that plays fast and loose with realism, I'd say that there must be a lot of speculation in-universe that Roy is gay. OR maybe he's had so many public short-term flings that there's only a little speculation — but there would still be people thinking it's strange. Just because "WAG and kids" is such a big aspect of how football stars are expected to perform masculinity, and Roy not having any of that (while at the same time performing a very specific brand of 'old school' tough guy masculinity) would make him a weird anomaly.

(When talking to non-sports fans, I usually find it useful to compare pro athletes to active-duty military personnel as two categories that on average start a family very young. It's a mix of a family providing more stability in a hectic career + expectations in those circles because everyone else is doing it + financial reasons that mean is more convenient to do it now than to wait)

(Again. Reflecting on social norms in footballers' circles makes me think a lot about what Keeley's expectations might have been pre-S1, when she kept dating footballers and moving in those same circles, whether the fact that she was with a young guy at 30 bothered her more than she let on, etc etc. This is also part of why I think she absolutely would say yes if Roy proposed — see also her reaction to Shandy saying that all their former flatmates "married footballers", which is just like "yeah, fair enough". I think pre-season 3 she just never saw her life going in a different direction, and was fine with it — at least until S3 made her consider stuff she might not have otherwise)

Anyway SORRY I went off!! Back to Roy — all that ramble was to say that, TO ME, if he wanted to be married, he absolutely would be already, way before the show started. It's something he must have considered earlier in life, just because it's a staple of the Ideal Footballer Career Path, and for whatever reason decided he wasn't keen on it. And it wasn't a one-off earlier — it's something people would have commented on it over and over, as all his teammates started families and he didn't, as the tabloid press speculated on his private life. It's not that he never had the opportunity; it's that he actively chose not to. So I'm not sure retirement would necessarily be the thing that makes him decide that "it's time" to get married. We see that in S2 he really throws himself into ~playing house~ with Keeley because he's trying to find a new life anchor after retirement, but idk if that would necessarily translate, to him, into "next step is getting married." Because, for someone in Roy's position, getting married would have been "the next step" ten years ago, and he was like, nah!

I also think that "when will Roy and Keeley get married" WAS an expectation that was very much present in the eyes of everyone who interacts with them, at least from the moment it became clear that they were serious and basically living together. Tabloid speculation, old friends of Roy who're also retired, friends and acquaintances of Keeley who also move in those 'D-list celebs / influencers / WAG' kind of circles. Their families, even; I have a very elaborate headcanon built off that one (1) throwaway line that Roy wanted to open the champagne when Keeley's mum "moved back north", that maybe Keeley's mother was a bit too happy to see her settled down with an older man for once, and they're living together, and he's very famous and very rich. My other headcanon is that Keeley dropped Shandy / her old friends after she got with Roy partly because there'd have been some wink-wink-nudge from those corners about "landing Roy Kent" (I have WAY too many thoughts about Keeley and Shandy, lol).

...Anyway. This is all to say. I think, between the two of them, Keeley might have been the one who vaguely considered that maybe marriage could be on the horizon as a next step, because she's a woman over 30 in circles where women over 30 get reminded of these things. Roy has the luxury of thinking about it less, because he decided years before the show that he wasn't going to get pressured into an early marriage just because it's The Done Thing.

I can believe Keeley and Roy never discussed marriage all through the year-odd they were dating, but I bet multiple people brought it up to Keeley unprompted, and to Roy also but to a lesser extent, and he was able to shrug it off way more easily. Keeley is probably dodging old friends who text her happy birthday and then are like "how are things going with RoyKent(TM)??" wink. babe you landed the big fish!! etc. etc.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG! this is like 80% headcanons that's partly inspired by me being A Sports Fan, partly by me overthinking Keeley's narrative, especially in S1 and S2 when she was still allowed to have neuroses and a meaningful friendship with Rebecca. But I'm ALWAYS thinking about Roy/Keeley not only as a ship but also in the context of the very specific gendered dynamics that exist among top-flight footballers and their partners, especially in the UK. It's just anthropologically fascinating to me, and I think S1 especially does a very good job of hinting at all the various nuances with Keeley's character.

[scariercnidaria]

CRIME & PUNISHMENT: THE CULPABILITY OF THE FAMILY, PSYCHIATRY AND THE STATE

before we begin i would like to give a brief trigger warning for discussions of mental health, violence and crime including abuse and sexual assault, and misogyny. I have tried not to linger gratuitously on any one subject but they are mentioned, unavoidably so.

If you are forced (as I am) or otherwise choose to listen to local radio for long enough now, you will eventually hear an advert by my local police. The contents of the advert, it's more like a PSA, but they are something like the following... ohh when you see violent crime, it affects all of us. It affects all of us, it's very bad when violent crime goes on. Please report violent crime to the police, the police who will definitely do something about it. These are *our* streets, and you can help take them back. Report it to the police, who never commit violent crime themselves.

These are our streets. It was that bit that stuck out to me the most. These aren't their streets. The advert positions the listener in opposition to these outsider-criminals. Is inline with the typical conservative view of crime and also criminals being something that spontaneously and inevitably appears in a society, almost as if through abiogenesis, and the only thing to be done is to take a tough stance on law and order. Be tough on crime, whatever that means.

Of course the PSA was explicitly and specifically calling out for action against violent crime. I think most Marxists come to the table already having come to an understanding of the social nature of certain nonviolent crimes. Ask a communist or more broadly an anarchist what their views on shoplifting are and they should say its cool and based-- its not praxis and it's not moral but it doesn't have to be, it's simply a fact of life that not everyone will have the money to pay for things under capital.

Sometimes the liberal-progressive will agree with you up to a point where they hit you with the "no bc actually the companies take it out of their employees wages so youre not actually hurting the man" at which point you hit them back with the "that's illegal for them to do that" to which "yeah they do it anyway" and now the liberal has demonstrated an understanding of the contradictions of bourgeois law, so congratulations, but the crux of the matter is that shoplifting isn't praxis so it doesn't matter.

The tory kind of crime culture is something that must be combatted and sometimes goes overlooked by communists. But it is eminently important to certain layers of the population and must be addressed. Mostly petit bourgeois and their neighbourhood watch it must be said - but for those who are drinking deep from the law and order Kool Aid on lawbreakers/troublemakers/whathaveyou, they really care about it and we need to be able to explain our position in a way that isn't just whatabouting the white collar criminals in the banks and government.

Because while it may be true that wage theft is more impactful to the average person than robbery it still doesn't assuage the fears of those to whom we might propose, for some point far along in the future, to "abolish the prison industrial complex" or "stateless society" and hear "anarchy! anarchy!". The cult of law and order must be dismantled, brick by brick.

So: on violent crime. I want to return to a phrase I mentioned earlier; the "outsider criminal". This is a common distortion of reality, and pure idealism with no material base. Take any category of violent crime and largely you will find that it is far more likely for abuses to have been committed by people known to the victim than by a stranger. Most kidnappings are by one of the parents over custody disputes. Most severe cases of child abuse, torture and exploitation occur in isolated family units. Most rapes are committed by a friend, acquaintance or partner.

Flying in the face of reality, the fearmongering over the unknown emerged in 1979 beginning with the kidnapping of Etan Patz and followed by a spate of high-profile child kidnapping cases. CBS Evening News in 1982 informed the American public that "up to 50000 children were being kidnapped by strangers each year", a number that journalists, social psychologists and government officials had assured the public was highly inflated by the mid 1980s. But a hysterical wave had already overtaken the American people.

There was the perception that society was becoming increasingly unsafe, and something had to be done about it. But in reality by the end of the 1970s the crime rate was already falling. At the same time, deindustrialisation battered New York and some two million white Americans fled the city for the suburbs.

And with the social-cultural backdrop manufactured by the bourgeois news media it was nevertheless responded to with bulked-up policing at the same time as austerity. The Reagan administration gained consent to build a number of new prisons in California the number of prisons doubled in the decade of the 1980s, where previously it had taken 70 years to construct even half of that number).

These prisons did nothing for crime; the most obvious trend observable was that as the number of prisons increases, there are a greater number of prisons. They were an abject failure in their stated mission, but highly lucrative for shareholders.

Of course there are the social impetuses around the experience of being incarcerated that make recidivism more likely; the "networking opportunities" that lead to disorganised, petty criminals coming into contact and making connection with more experienced, organised criminals on the inside.

The skills decay, "gaps in employment" and legal discrimination faced by those with arrest records once they are on the outside. The disenfranchisement of felons. The income lost while incarcerated or stolen by police upon arrest, or spent on legal fees that must be recouped sooner rather than later. But often the psychological effects can be side-stepped by our movement.

There is perhaps a tendency to focus on certain kinds of offender (property crimes, non-violent drug offences), which is easy but tired, and can provide opponents with a "gotcha!" when confronting us with the question, for example, "what do we do about murderers and pedophiles?"

Of course the quick answer is that Leninists are not for the immediate abolishment of all carceral systems (but people did get paid in the gulags, so it isn't slave labour like usamerican prisons). But rhetorically that can feel like backpedalling, and it is useful to be able to explain the full and complex picture of crime in current society.

On the other-hand, there is also a tendency to shoehorn every single violent crime into the category of "mental health concern" while downplaying ideology as a factor. The western individualist petit-bourgeois centre cannot comprehend having a cause that one is willing to die or kill for. This incredulity serves to tourniquet both arms of politics: the courage and conviction of Aaron Bushnell's self-immolation is minimised, the ideology driving it reduced to fine print beside a suicide hotline, and the vile stochastic terrorism of far-right demagogues and incel forums are obscured behind lone-actors reacting to "male loneliness".

The case of right wing terrorism is particularly prevalent, because right wing terrorism itself is particularly prevalent at the moment. Conversely, in the era of the 70s when left-wing terrorism had its day in the sun bourgeois demagogues had no trouble denouncing the dangerous radicalism of the anarchist and Maoist coalitions. Meanwhile at present we see the woobification of mass murderers like Elliot Rodger or Kyle Rittenhouse or the Columbine shooters Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris as misunderstood, victims of bullying, merely suicidal in their pre-actions instead of the fermenting Hitlerites that from their journals it is clear that they were.

It was Sue Klebold, in fact, Dylan Klebold's mother, who was the one to launch a media campaign in the wake to have her son painted as a victim. It was her book-- a NYT Bestseller-- and years later the TED talks too that were major contributors to this brand of disinformation. I don't think I need to tell comrades here that there are plenty of mentally ill people who are not violent, who are violent only against themselves, or who are violent in ways that are not better explained by an ideology that encourages the dehumanisation of other people.

This is not to do a "no true mad person" fallacy on it-- as in certain cases perhaps mental illness will be the framework through which someone's actions are best understood-- but pathologising categories of action as default, far from turning them into something able to be treated, lends itself to helplessness in prevention. In the cases of far-right terrorism, it is the ideology that is the catalyst.

The class instincts of the bourgeoisie will always be to protect their own, over the out-group. Capitalism sublimates other identities below the class-instinct, such that even women become defenders of misogyny, POC of racism, gay people of homophobia; all of whom by this mechanism defenders of capital. It is not necessarily *in*conceivable why; in a survival situation it is much more helpful to be a member of the bourgeoisie than a member of a proletarianised minority group, this ought to be clear.

But dialling the extremity of our cases back some, and revisiting a recent phenomenom in greater depth: what is this so-called epidemic of "male loneliness" but a different expression of capitalist alienation as Marx described all those years ago? If not the very same? Of course the solution to this problem is, in that case not a consolidation of the patriarchy-- expecting women to bear the brunt of violence is itself a kind of interpersonal reformism. Like "oh, if women don't like these men they should enter relationships with them and try to push them left from the ground up". To suggest that would be as ridiculous as suggesting the same for proletarians in collaborationist parties.

In a similar vein, it is clearly nonsense to suggest that it is the bourgeoisie who gets the shortest (or even an equally short) end of the stick under capitalism, as it would be to suggest that men get a shorter or equally short end of the stick under patriarchy.

Alienation does not compare to exploitation. Alienation precludes connection, fulfillment, wellbeing; but such a condition is not the sole burden of the exploiter (the proletariat experiences alienation from their labour far more acutely than the bourgeoisie; the women who the alienated men around them are unable to connect with suffer at least as much from that particular disconnect as the men do. Of course there are unique experiences, and to every party the suffering felt is real-- this is not being said to dismiss it).

But to recognise this fact is not identity politics, it is a recognition of the material realities and contradictions of capitalism and the various compounding and nuanced oppressions that reinforce it in order to create as an accurate a picture as possible of the Hydra we are facing. To deny men the ability for consciousness, on the other hand, to use their own experiences and relate that suffering to the broader ailments of society, and to subsequently divide the struggle on any lines other than class-- the superidentity through which all other forms of oppression express a material form, however, most certainly is.

The exact contradiction faced by working class men which leads to their alienation from each other and the rest of society is the combined experience of having a foot up when it comes to the patriarchy, while simultaneously being crushed under the boot of capitalism in their experience as labourers.

This contradiction will, depending on the man and the environment in which he finds himself, go one of two ways: either a redoubling of the patriarchy, which may compensate his individual lack of control in the professional sphere but represent a concession to bourgeois ideology that can only feed-back into greater alienation from his fellow humans, entitlement to the women around him; a rotting cope that cannot resolve, will not save him and will change nothing for his children. Or in the realisation of his position under capitalism, as in class consciousness. Only the latter is capable of providing a way forward.

Patriarchy serves capitalism historically as the commodification of women and their confinement to the domestic sphere provides a vast well of labour that is able to go unpaid, labour that is vital for the reproduction of the next generation of proletarians and used to be reflected in the wages of the husband.

Then came the proletarianisation of women (which is perhaps a misnomer-- certain layers of women, the poorest, among whom was particularly black and immigrant women, had always been working) and perhaps moreso with the right of women to open up their own bank accounts independent of a husband-- and thus accumulate their own capital, have their own inheritors. This of course was a progressive step as opposed to the formal slavery of women that came before. Now they were free to enter into wage slavery as the men were.

This-- the feminist 2nd wave-- and the rise of what we colloquially think of as liberal ideology (not the classical liberalism of for example Thomas Hobbes or Steven Crowder) was correlated with the decline of the family unit, a pattern that is real, and correctly identified as real by reactionaries but wrongfully attributed to the aforementioned ideological developments. In reality it was the greed of employers at the potentiality of a new and untapped source of labour in women that finally overrode the antiquated prejudices of the bourgeoisie, as they realised they'd be able to pay women less and pit the now even more saturated labour market against each other to drive wages down.

However, it soon became impossible to support a family on a single income as it had been throughout the 50s and 60s.

This, being the precursor to as reactionaries identify it "the degeneration of the family", was not-- as reactionaries identify it-- the fault of women but of manifold factors, including: the deindustrialisation ongoing since the 50s in places such as Detroit as auto manufacturers left or soon to go on in New York state, and the north of England and in Wales under Thatcher here at home-- which was in turn driven by the emigration of these manufacturing jobs to newly open and exploitable markets in the global south, the declawing of the unions, the inevitable slowdown of the post-war boom, and the market organisation of labour in the first place.

These developments were bound to place even more stress on what was already a fundamentally fragile social unit in the first place-- the nuclear family.

Even prior to it's decline and the successes of 1st and 2nd wave feminism, the nuclear family had been a tenuous and unstable building block on which to structure a society. Marx wrote of the flaws of bourgeois marriage-- community of women, union based on accumulation, the consequent alienation-- which had been evident even in his day.

And on the eve of what we may consider the old order overturned, the sunset decades of traditional Americana in the 1950s and early 60s, there was still the stereotype of the valium-addled housewife & mother and the disciplinarian salaryman husband & father.

But such a structure can only ever reflect the conditions of the society in which it exists; this society is of course the dictatorships of the liberal bourgeoisie and all its flaws. The contradictions between the "united front" of the parents over the children, while the mother/wife is exploited in the domestic, and in marriage generally, and finds dominion over the children, the husband/father too is exploited in his work, and finds dominion over the wife.

It is this that was promised implicitly to young men, and this that the more reactionary layers of them wish to RETVRN to, yet is impossible under the current conditions-- even if women were willing to enter into relationships with them. Every "trad" influencer you see online is being kept afloat by egregious generational wealth.

And the structure is one absolutely primed for abuses. "Nuclear" is an apt metaphor, the power struggle between the subatomic forces will necessarily lead to conflict and reckoning, fission and decay. The disenfranchised child is sole property of their parents, the wife property of her husband. Both husband and wife chained by bureaucratic and financial pressures and obligations that may not inherently cause but facillitate and exacerbate abuses, and forces each party to endure past the point when individually and free of constraint they would choose to leave.

When exploitation of a child occurs outside of the immediate family it is usually by trusted adults wielding social (or actual) capital. On the occasion it is perpetrated by a stranger, it is always the lack of agency felt or experienced by the child that is preyed upon and manipulated.

It is with this understanding of the family that we must approach one of the dominant paradigms in contemporaneous psychiatry-- that is, the parental blame game-- and its incompleteness.

It might surprise you now for me to say that I do not believe the family's flaws to be an adequate explainer of mental illness on their own.

Other than the biological approach, this is perhaps the framework of psychotherapy one is most likely to encounter. Not for no reason-- it is inarguable that the actions of caregivers during developmental years have a profound effect on later wellbeing. It just so happens that under capitalism and especially western individualism (which is an ideological cornerstone of capitalism itself) the purview of "caregiver" is reduced to the role of primary and secondary, of most commonly mother and father. That the onus for raising a whole human being-- multiple, even-- should fall on just two individuals is not a natural law but a result of current cultural conditions. It takes a village to raise a child, after all.

A child that is unisolated, is listened to and taken seriously, who is and has always been free to leave a situation in which they are uncomfortable, and who has a wide network of support that is simply not feasible under capitalist alienised-atomised living, is far more difficult if not impossible to victimise. There is a reason that Engels included childcare and early childhood education in his Principles of Communism, there is a reason the Bolsheviks instituted those, as well as freedom of divorce and abortion, almost as soon as they came to power.

That the blame should be placed entirely on one or both of the parental unit is not just a convenient scapegoat for the bourgeois influences out of the parents' control, but a fundamentally unhelpful tactic especially in reaching certain layers of the proletariat who come to the table with an understanding that their parents had done the best that they could in raising them, given the circumstances, and will not hear badly against them.

In a not insignificant number of cases this is not an incorrect one-- they may not consciously realise it but those circumstances of course are capitalism. "Man makes his own choices but does not do so in conditions of his choosing" - this was Marx's conception of human nature. It is the pedestal on which nuclear parenthood is placed which lends itself to disappointment.

But think as well of the bourgeois child, who grows up with all the advantages of wealth and none of the traumas of poverty. They are sooner raised by a nanny or governess than their own family, with the influence of the parents elevated to a non-presence hanging over the entire childhood. What does the child learn but that love and care is a commodity to be bought and sold, hired from the underclass?

Capital is substitute for connection. Perhaps in this way-- and in the simultaneous recognition of the lie of meritocracy-- it can be understood that capitalism does not merely reward sociopathy (which would imply that individual traits have any bearing of the makeup of executive boards), but *breeds* it.

It is not necessary for us to distinguish between whether or not an individual member of the bourgeoisie is "really" ASPD (the clinical term for sociopathy) or NPD (Narcissitic Personality Disorder). It is also not necessary to particularly worry about the stigmatising effects of "mis"-using such labels in such a way, as these labels were invented in the first place to stigmatise people displaying certain groups of behaviour.

(The technique for remembering which PD cluster is which is still "Mad, *Bad*, Sad", after all. It is difficult, knowing this, to believe the puported scientific non-bias of psychiatry as a practise, given the sweeping moral condemnation of some of its most vulnerable patients. It is impossible to destigmatise the word "narcissist"; it's like naming it "Irredeemable Abusive Asshole Disorder" and then being surprised when people throw it around as a pejorative against anyone they don't like. If they gave a shit they would have called it what it is, which is "essentially CPTSD but we don't like your coping mechanisms and we would rather discard you as a person entirely than attempt to understand the nuances". But I digress:).

For the members of the bourgeoisie whose actions may be described as sociopathic from the outside, they are functionally the same and might as well be called as much. I would indeed suspect, however, that a significant proportion of "sociopaths" among high level executives may not be so in the strictly clinical sense; diagnostic criteria and treatment for personality disorders still tend to operate off the assumption that once personality has developed it becomes intrinsic and unable to be meaningfully improved-- such was the original conceit of the distinction between Axis I and Axis II (major psychiatric VS personality disorders) in the DSM-- but more recent findings challenge this assumption. Through the dialectic-- the process of development of human thought-- we also understand that the self as everything is constantly in motion.

These informal sociopaths in executive positions, therefore, may better have their condition (and "condition" here as in the non-clinical sense) explained by various "ism"s-- classism that allows them to dehumanise their employees, sexism that allows them to dehumanise their wives and pay women employees less for the same work, racism that allows them to dehumanise their constituents or, in the case of redlining bankers, hopeful borrowers. Their own bourgeois ideology above all that allows them to justify it all to themselves: through meritocracy, through bootstraps-isms, through trickle-down economics, through American and broader western exceptionalism, through plain straight denial-- this particular magical thinking, *this* disconnect from reality, is not termed psychotic by the status quo.

Culturally we see certain allowances made for yet more aspects of bourgeois ideology too. Believing in aliens, or ghosts, or angel-number universal energy is considered cause for psychiatric concern. Believing in God is not. As Marxists we understand that all of these are idealism, but liberal ideology is unable to reconcile the contradiction.

With the pathologisation of discrete actions, which had started with suicide (of which there is still declared to never be a logical reasoning behind, even in the wake of Aaron Bushnell's protest, even in less clear cases where the Samaritans themselves recognise something called "Shit Life Syndrome", from which suicide could be construed a protest against the conditions of capitalism itself) and which has not yet extended to religiosity in general, it has yet diffused across all manner of behaviour-- some perhaps genuinely useful as markers of psychological processes that are more difficult to measure, as in sensory avoidance for one. But increasingly many others rendered completely meaningless by pop-psych content farms, according to whom for example sleeping in the foetal position is a potential sign of autism.

This is formal logic. That one or even several peripheral or correlationary traits makes a disorder. In reality, even mental illness adheres to at least one part of the dialectic. Many symptoms are common across disorders and many symptoms express themselves subclinically (in a non-disordered way). It is the presence of a sufficient quantity of symptoms that turns into the quality of "having" a "disorder".

It is the formal logician that sees their friend's breakup and instantly diagnoses the other party as a narcissist, no matter how small the action given as evidence. And it is the formal logician who is unable to see that this "narcissist" in reality suffers very little in his other interpersonal relationships, and it is simply the misogyny he has learned throughout his life that is the cause of conflict in his romantic relationships.

Look through the DSM and the ICD and you will not find a single disorder for which misogyny, or racism, or homophobia, or transphobia, or any other kind of bigotry is a symptom. They are, however, symptoms of capitalism-- and of class society generally.

You will, however, find disorders of which anti-authoritarianism are symptoms-- as in Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or ODD, which is varyingly just either ADHD or PTSD, primarily applied to black children or other children more likely to be considered aggressive, and attempting to challenge the diagnosis in any way is considered yet another symptom.

The Cluster B personality disorders also tend to get slapped on the record of patients that are considered difficult. A major consequence of psychotic disorders are that you de-facto lose the ability to argue for your own experiences (you are, after all, delusional). Genuine concerns over their own safety and desire to have locks on the door in the (real) case of a schizophrenic rape survivor in a women's shelter are brushed off as paranoia.

Any Marxist considering "Anti-Social Personality Disorder" must take into account exactly *which* society the personality is deemed to be "anti", especially given that the diagnostic criteria requires "disregard for the law-" *bourgeois* law "-and repeated criminal behaviour prior to the age of 18".

People with Narcissitic Personality Disorder are generally unlikely to seek treatment for it and it instead tends to be identified during treatment for comorbidities-- most commonly Substance Use Disorders, which itself straddles the line between crime and illness.

Crime for the homeless addict, or the single mother caught with a gram of weed in her nightstand, or the line cook on their eighth 10-hour shift in a row. Illness for the celebrity at private rehab, or the white suburban mother on enough Prozac to kill a horse, or the rich partyboy on college track. "Irrational", perhaps, in all cases; never a thought given to the conditions that make constant intoxication preferable to the throbbing mental illness of capitalism.

The line between crime and mental illness is, generally, less distinct than you might think. Treatment for psychotic disorders differs very little from incarceration. Institutionalisation is functionally the same as arrest-- except it is generally even more traumatising ("oh you believe that people are plotting to come get you and take you away, so we've arranged for a group of people to come get you and take you away")−− and you don't even have the right to a trial.

Science under capitalism is and always will be subject to the hegemony of the bourgeoisie. It is for that reason that treatment is restricted to that which will get you back to work the quickest. This is usually drug therapy instead of talking therapies, which require greater skill (and therefore are more expensive to train and produce) and take longer to show effects. In USAmerica at least it is also the case that doctors essentially receive sponsorships from pharmaceutical companies in exchange for prescribing a quota of a specific drug, whether or not it is in the patient's best interest.

I feel obligated to include The Mark Fisher Quote in here somewhere, but I won't dwell on it; "If it is true that low levels of serotonin cause depression, it still has to be determined *what causes low levels of serotonin*?"

The cases of depression and anxiety have been repeated ad nauseum. Schizophrenia is often thrown out as a counterargument by those championing what is essentially biological determinism, but even schizophrenia expresses itself less severely and less violently in less individualistic societies.

Schizophrenia at present requires family therapy anyway, for the people around the sufferer to adjust their behaviour and learn how to approach delusions. The most humane treatment for schizophrenia is still a wide support network such that interpersonal conflict can be spread out and it does not become a trigger. People should not have to endure neurological damage and seizures from taking enough meds to be productive in order to have the right to life. In all cases it is the alienation that kills you. The bid for human connection that is rejected or dismissed that leads to self-destruction.

What would persecutory delusions look like under a dictatorship of the proletariat? Without special bodies of armed men that *do* have the power to take you away? Of religious persecution in a society that has moved past the need for religion? Of grandiosity in a world where the category of celebrity does not exist?

When the punishment for doing worse is not unemployment and homelessess, perhaps suddenly recovery is not so impossible.

--

Liberal ideologues through their flattening of the entire scope of criminality, including and especially violent crime, into "mental illness", and mental illness onto the family, fail to see the forest for the trees. This is unsurprising, and par for the course with liberalism.

Right wing ideologues, on the other hand, blame crime and criminality on "not enough family", or "not the right kind of family". They believe that all that is necessary is for the correct values to be instilled in a child. But poverty is as with all things the great exacerbater. In reality it is not some metaphysical human need for a present father that makes a two-parent household superior, but the advantages of *two* potential streams of income, of *two* extended families, of greater options for childcare. This could be achieved as easily by two women or two men as by one man and one woman, but we need not stop there; it would be achieved even easier with proper social support, with the abolition of poverty, with a shorter working day, with communism.

[footballfanficwriter]

Award show

A/n: I know I haven't been posting but writers block is a real thing fr, also requests are open

Summary:where the reader is Kylian's plus 1 to the football awards

I'm nervous, because although Kylian is my Husband we've never actually made a public appearance and people don't know we're married

Which has taken a strain on our marriage because I feel like he's ashamed to be seen with me in public and he says he wants to protect me

As if he can sense my nervousness he walks into the room and wraps his hand around me.

"You smell good" he say planting kisses on my neck

"Thank you"

"You also look very gorgeous"

"Thank you, you look very handsome yourself, seems like I'm gonna be fighting a lot of women tonight"

He laughs and I smile at his laughter

"You don't have to worry about them, I'm all yours"

I smile and he pecks my lips

"C'mon let's go we don't wanna be late"

We walk out the door and into the car where our driver was waiting on us

The ride to the event was very nerve wrecking and my leg keeps bouncing

Kylian must have noticed because he places his hand on my thigh

"Hey don't worry,I'm right here and I'm not leaving your side side at all ok?"

"Ok"

We arrive and the driver opens the door for Kylian to get out and he reaches for my hand and steps out the car

As soon as we step out we're met with flashing lights and cameras

We make our way to the red carpet where we get interviewed by a blonde lady who looks very gorgeous

"Monsieur Kylian, ça va?"

"Merci et toi"

"Bien, I see you have brought a plus one today, who is this stunning lady?" She asks referring to me

"She's a very close friend of mine and I decided to bring her along today, cause I thought why not"

I look at Kylian in almost disbelief, but quickly cover up the face and put a smile on

"Yeah Kylian and I have known eachother for a long time now"

"Oh ok that's very nice and so sweet, so Kylian how are you feeling about tonight?" The interviewer asks putting her had on Kylian's Bicep

He pulls away and answers "really nervous but all I hope for is a smooth evening as well as a relaxed one"

"Well you heard it here folks Kylian is hoping for a smooth and relaxed night"

We walk away from the interviewer and make our way to our seats

I let go of him and he turns to me and asks "are you ok?"

"I don't wanna talk to you"

"Babe, I'm sorry"

"For what? Not claiming me in front of that interviewer or for letting her touch you like that"

"You look so hot when you're Jealous you know that"

"stop, this is very serious Kylian let go of me" I let go of his arm and the award ceremony starts

After a few awards are handed out the category Kylian is nominated for comes up

"Now for the youngest football player award"

The nominees are called out and Kylian grabs my hand

Just because I'm upset with him doesn't mean I don't care

"And the winner is ... Kylian Mbappe"

My heart drops with excitement, and he turns to me and hugs me and walks to the stage to collect his award

"Wow, thank you very much for the award it really means a lot to me, firstly I would like to thank my family for all the support they have given me through out my life, then l'd like to thank my fans all over the world, and thank you for being my support , and lastly, My Wife Y/n, thank you for always being my emotional and physical support, no matter how many times I wanted to give up, you were always pushing me and encouraging me to continue on this path even though it got tough, it was better because you were by my side cheering me on, thank you and I love you je t'aime mon amour"

He walks of the stage and comes back to his seat, he sits next to me again and I kiss him not caring we're in public, I've been wanting to do this ever since we started dating

"I love you too"

After the ceremony, I go online and see people freaking out about the news about Kylian and I's Marriage

When we got home Kylian couldn't stop smiling at me and neither could I

"Thank you for that" I said

"Don't thank me it was something I should have done a long time ago, and I'm sorry for making you feel like I was ashamed of you, if anything I'm actually very proud to call you my wife and I want the whole world to know that" he says

I smile at him and start kissing him very passionately

[demoiselettes]

Death’s door

Pairing: Kyojuro x reader

Category: angst to fluff

Warning(s)/note(s): near death experience, mentions and descriptions of injury, gn! Reader

Request: So I would like to request one for Kyojuro after the Mugen Train, if he came out alive. How would that reunion look like?

Tagging: @sulli1361

A/: thank you for requesting! <3

This mission wasn’t a normal one.

That much you knew, as you watched your husband throw on his flame blessed cloak. Through all the times you and Senjuro (and perhaps even Shinjuro, though the latter would sooner die than admit to it) have watched Kyojuro leave to save lives, you were strangely weighed down with unease when, during this particular occasion, his smile failed to warm your chest like it always has in a reassuring manner whenever he'd leave for missions. You knew his job was dangerous. You knew that which each squawk of his crow to announcing a mission, there was always the possibility of Kyojuro returning not in one piece. And maybe, you were right to have your suspicions that day while watching him head out because even when you ruffled Senjuro's fiery hair with the promise that Kyojuro would come back safe and sound you had a sickening feeling that all you were doing was giving the poor boy false hope.

This wasn't a normal mission. Because if it had been, maybe he wouldn't have come back in a comatose state.

The only thing that caused you to nearly break down in tears for good that day after the utterly terrible turn of events, was the lack of smile on Shinobu Kocho's face when she re-emerged from the operating theatre.

During the few times you'd met her, she always had on a smile and though at times it did seem strained, it was an indication that everything was alright. Because she smiled even through the tough parts. But which part of what had happened today wiped that smile off her face? She had been expecting you, of course, you've been pacing the hallways of the Butterfly Estate so much even Kanao had taken pity on you and had resorted to— albeit awkwardly— patting your back.

"He is.. deemed to be out of danger." The hesitance in her voice was thinly masked. "However, due to extent of the injuries.." she exhaled quietly. "He has slipped into a coma, Rengoku-san."

Had it not been for Kanao's firm grip on the fabric of your yukata, you would have crumpled onto the cold, hard wooden floorboards. The shock must have been visible on your face- how could it not?- because Shinobu patted your shoulder in what you took to be reassurance.

"All is not lost," she'd said, the corners of her lips gingerly curling up. "He may live."

The next months were a blur of the constant overbearing routine of putting your feelings aside to prevent your little family from losing hope. Senjuro, bless his soul, was often with you, helping you out with chores and mundane tasks that slightly, just slightly alleviated the weight of the incident that you both wordlessly danced around.

And then came the crow, very nearly startling you out with its cries of your spouse regaining consciousness and— you were running towards the estate who's route you had engraved into your mind. Shinobu said nothing as you whisked past her.

You'd think, that after your husband woke up from a coma, you would know what to say, to spill tears of joy, to be angry that he caused you to worry. But when you appeared in his room, his golden eyes trailed on you with newfound tenderness that caused your throat to constrict. He seemed nervous, as though already expecting your scorn, but that only made him look more like puppy. A puppy heavily bandaged and with a missing eye.

You quietly kneeled by his bed, staring at him in hopes that this wasn't an illusion, that you would not wake up in cold sweat in your futon knowing that Kyojuro was still comatose. He had to remain lying on the bed, no doubt orders of Kocho but in his current state you doubted he'd be able to sit up even if he genuinely wanted to. He kept staring at you with eyes concealing an emotion you couldn't quite make out.

It seemed that you would not be further impacted, but when he croaked your name in a voice that was barely anything more than whispery, you felt a dam break inside of you and the suppressed emotions of the past months washed over you in reminiscence to a tidal wave. Bitter, cold and most importantly, suffocating.

It was unfair to him, you thought, because he was the one who had fought an Upper Moon, had lost an eye and yet he was the one smiling at you, fingers curling in an attempt to coax you into taking his hand. You did, feeling the familiar warmth that would encase you each night prior to this damned mission and letting it dissipate the pain.

"Kyoju..ro?" You choked out through the tears. "H-how are you feeling?"

It was a stupid question, of course. What else would he be feeling but pain? Nonetheless, he made an attempt at comfort for your sake. Always for your sake.

"It's hurting just a bit," he said, then amended: "Maybe more than just a bit." He seemed to shrink under your gaze. “I’m sorry, my love..”

You held yourself back from jumping of the bed and hugging the life out of him. Instead, you bent down and brushed your lips against the bandages around his knuckles. “Why are you apologizing? There’s- there’s nothing to apologize for, Kyojuro..” your voice was thick.

“I made you worry.” He ran his thumb over your cheek. “I have no right to. I had promised i’d come back safe.”

This quiet and tranquil demeanor was out of place coming from Rengoku Kyojuro, but you had gotten used to it after marrying him and that was what made your relationship special. Because for all his bright and boisterous behavior with everyone else, he allowed himself to be more at ease with you. He knew that you wouldn’t judge him if he allowed himself to break down, to loosen up. He knew you loved him and that alone was enough to drive him forward.

You shook your head. “You have nothing to be sorry about. You only did your job. It’s just not a very safe one.” You managed a broken laugh. “But you’re safe, that’s all that matters.”

He knew you were hurting and God, seeing your tear streaked face hurt more than any of the wounds he’d incurred.

“S-Senjuro and your father were also worried.” Your voice broke him from his misery. “Senjuro—that boy—he’s very brave, he’s just like his older brother.” Your voice cracked.

Warmth flooded his chest and just like that he felt as though his wounds were already closing up. He uncurled his fingers, softly cupping your cheek in reverence. You’re beautiful, he thought.

« Thank you. » he uttered. « Thank you for taking care of my family. »

You giggled, and this time the light in your eyes was more apparent. Kyojuro couldn’t contain his grin. « And thank you for coming back alive. »

Slowly, your hands trailed up to cup his cheeks, brushing away blond locks streaked with red. Then your lips were on his, both of you desperate for more of each other.

And even through all the pain and hardships that life would put you through, you knew, as long as Kyojuro remained by your side, you’d be able to brave them.

As long as he was by your side.

[potionsprefect]

Time Away

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 2k

Summary: After the attack, Victoria heads back to New York

Rating: Teen

Category: Angst, Fluff

The flight was very quick, probably not the most environmentally friendly way to travel back home but Victoria didn’t care at this particular moment. She needed to see her family, however quickly she could get to New York was important.

Victoria grabbed her bag and headed into the arrivals lounge. She scanned the room looking for two familiar faces. Victoria spotted them smiling at her and she rushed over to them.

She wrapped her arms around her Mom, tears rolling down her face. Her warmth felt so familiar, she would never be too old for a hug from her Mom.

“You okay?” Jane asked.

Victoria smiled. “I am now.”

Jane pressed a kiss to the side of Victoria’s head, tears shining brightly in her own eyes as she gave her daughter one last hug.

“Hey kiddo.” Michael smiled as he hugged Victoria. She held on a little longer than usual, the new norm now given what she had been through. “How was your flight?”

“Ok.” Victoria replied.

Jane and Michael looked at Victoria with concern. They always got more out of Victoria. The one word answer made them anxious.

Not wanting to press further, they nodded and headed to the car. It was a quick journey home, Victoria didn’t talk much and kept her eyes looking out the window but glanced away to look at her phone. A small smile lit up on her face when she saw Ethan had text her.

She wished he was with her. Holding her hand, proving a gentle comfort to her. Instead there was miles between them, with only FaceTime to use.

The car pulled into the driveway in Westchester and Victoria climbed out.

“I’ve made you your favourite dinner.” Jane said as they headed into the house.

“Burgers?” Victoria laughed.

“With extra gherkins. Just how you like it.” Jane smiled.

“Your brother and sister will be coming over tomorrow. They got the day off work.” Michael said.

“And the kids?”

“Them too. They can’t wait to see you.”

“Me neither. I’m just gonna call Ethan and then I’ll come and eat dinner.” Victoria said. She headed into the living room and pressed dial on her phone.

“Glad to hear you got to New York ok.” Ethan said when he answered.

“It feels weird being here. I wish you were with me.” Victoria sighed.

“I know you do. I wish that too. I think the time at home will do you good. And we can talk everyday, whenever you want.” Ethan smiled.

“Thank you. I better go. Mom has made dinner.”

“Alright? Do you want to talk before you go to sleep?”

“No, I’ll be okay I promise. I love you.” Victoria replied.

“I love you too.”

The call ended and Victoria sighed. These few weeks we’re gonna be tough without him. Victoria wasn’t sure she could make it.

The next day was emotionally exhausting for Victoria. She appreciated her family all showing their support but all she wanted to do was get into bed and pull the duvet over her, shut out the rest of the world until she felt like saying hello again.

She tried to make small talk but everyone could see she wasn’t in the mood for talking. She had appreciated her niece and nephew giving her lots of cuddles, they definitely made her feel better.

She was now laying on her bed, having opted for an early night. Although Victoria wasn’t asleep, her brain unwilling to switch off, nightmares swimming around in her head. She glanced at the clock on her bedside cabinet. 2:56am.

Everything over the last few weeks has been playing on her mind. She felt guilty being back home, everyone in Boston was still grieving and here she was, hiding away in her childhood home from everyone who cared.

Am I being selfish? Should I be with everyone? What must everyone think of me?

A strangled cry left her throat, Victoria tried her best to suppress it but it was no use. One tear rolled down after another until she was a sobbing mess on her bed. She clutched her childhood teddy, trying to draw some comfort from it but it was no use.

She was broken, and she needed help. And help came in one particular tall form.

She missed him so much. She needed him here. Laying beside her, he would help her with all her worries. Victoria grabbed her phone. Would he be awake? Was he thinking of her in the same way she was thinking of him?

Victoria found his name in her phone and dialled the number. It didn’t take long for him to pick up.

“Victoria?” Ethan’s voice, groggy from sleep said.

“Ethan? I’m sorry if I woke you. I just needed to hear your voice.” Victoria trembled.

“It’s okay. Take a deep breath. I wasn’t really asleep. What’s wrong?” Ethan asked.

“I can’t do this. I miss you so much. I thought I’d be okay. That I’d have my family around me to help me. But all I want is you. Your warmth and comfort. I had a nightmare. ” Victoria began to cry again.

“Oh Vic.” Ethan sighed. “I’m so sorry. I should be there with you.”

“No it’s okay. You need to work. I should’ve called earlier yesterday evening. I’ll be okay as long as we can do that.”

“Of course we can. You don’t have to ask. You can call me whenever. You know that. Try and get some sleep and call me tomorrow.” Ethan said.

“Okay. As long as you’re not busy at work.” Victoria said.

“Victoria that’s not a problem. When you need me, I’ll be there.”

“Okay. I’ll try and get some sleep now.” Victoria said.

“I love you so much. Just know that.”

Victoria smiled. “I love you too. Thank you for being there for me.”

“Always.” Ethan said before the call ended.

Victoria put her phone down and tried to close her eyes, she pictured happy thoughts, of the upcoming future she would now have with Ethan. How they could finally be a couple out in the world for everyone to see. They were each others forever now.

Victoria figured she must’ve fallen asleep for a bit as the clock now said 4:19am. She couldn’t go back to sleep so she got up and put her dressing gown. Just as she secured it, her phone buzzed. It was Ethan.

Come outside.

Victoria furrowed her eyebrows. What did he mean? She got up and headed downstairs, pulling the curtain back.

She was sure her eyes were deceiving her because out the window, a figure was stood by his car. And he looked suspiciously like Ethan.

Victoria hurried to the front door and flung it open. Her eyes weren’t deceiving her. There was Ethan. Messy hair and clothes looking like they had just been thrown on and a small smile on his face.

Victoria found herself running towards him and she flung herself into his arms, his own tightening around her as he held her close. She broke down in tears as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Victoria asked as she pulled away.

“You need me, so here I am. I can stay for four days. Naveen said it was okay.” Ethan smiled.

“But it’s the middle of the night!” Victoria wiped her eyes.

“Which meant I could get here quicker. Although I’ll probably have to check my bag in the morning. I just threw some clothes in.” Ethan laughed as he grabbed his bag.

“It’s so good to see you. I’m glad you’re here.” Victoria smiled.

Ethan pressed a firm kiss to Victoria’s lips. “Me too.” He picked up his bag and took Victoria’s hand.

They headed into the house, a shadowy figure was stood on the stairs.

“What’s going on Tori? I heard the front door open.” Jane asked. When she saw Ethan, she raised an eyebrow. “Ethan? What are you doing here?”

“I asked him to come Mom. I know it’s the middle of the night, but I needed him.” Victoria replied.

“I’m sorry to disturb you Mrs Clarke.” Ethan said.

“No need to apologise Ethan. And please call me Jane. I’ll see you both in the morning.” Jane smiled heading back to bed.

Victoria led Ethan to her bedroom. He got dressed into some pyjamas and climbed into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her.

“I can’t believe you’re really here.” Victoria yawned as she tried to stay awake.

Ethan pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “It’s real Vic. Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Victoria snuggled into his embrace, soon drifting off into a deep sleep. For the first time in days, she slept soundly, Ethan’s arms proving the best comfort.

It was a few days since Ethan had arrived and Victoria’s mood had massively changed. Just being with Ethan had made her much happier, everyone could see it. Today was his last day and Ethan was due to leave in an hour. Victoria was soaking up as many cuddles as possible.

Spending time with him in her hometown had been amazing. Her family had gotten to know him better and they all loved him, just like she did. They spent time visiting all the places Victoria used to hang out, the parks she went to, the cafes and restaurants she loved. She was sad that he was going to go home back to Boston.

“Do you really have to go?” Victoria tightened her arms around him.

Ethan chuckled. “I don’t want to. But there’s only so long Naveen can hold the fort for.”

“He wouldn’t mind. He’s so happy that we’re finally together, he’ll probably let you stay off for a bit longer.” Victoria shrugged.

“For some reason I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of doing that. As much as I want him to.” Ethan smiled.

Victoria sat up and looked at him. “I’ve really enjoyed you being here. I wish you could stay longer.”

Ethan took her hands in his. “Me too. Everyone’s been telling me how much your mood has changed since I arrived. It makes me happy knowing that I have helped in some way.”

Victoria pressed a kiss to his hand. “You have. I think going forward I’ll be okay, so long as I’ve got you by my side.”

“Forever and always Vic.” Ethan smiled.

The couple laid in each others arms, talking about the future and everything that was heading their way.

Ethan checked his watch. “I should get going.” He pressed a kiss to Victoria’s forehead.

Victoria stood up. “Let’s get this over with. In a nice way. The longer we stall, the more upset I’ll become.” She smiled through tears.

The couple headed out where Ethan said goodbye to Victoria’s parents. They walked out the front door to the car, Ethan put his bag in the car.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” Ethan said, wrapping his arms around her.

“Drive safely.” Victoria said.

“Of course.” Ethan smiled. He leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips, prolonging the moment for as long as possible. “I love you.” He whispered as he broke away.

“I love you too.” Victoria replied, burying her face into his neck for one last hug. Knowing she would have to let go, Victoria extracted herself from Ethan and let him get in the drivers seat.

Reluctantly, Ethan got in the car, giving one last glance to the woman he loved before staring the engine and driving away. Victoria stayed rooted to the spot until she couldn’t see the car anymore and then headed back indoors.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Yeah I am. I’m glad he came. I feel a lot better.” Victoria replied.

“He’s good for you. Your Dad and I are glad you’ve found someone like him.” Jane smiled.

“I know he is.” Victoria smiled.

Going forward Victoria knew she had the best people. With them by her side she could make it through anything that life threw at her.

I figured this was long enough instead of including what Ethan and Victoria got up to. Maybe I’ll do a separate fic, let me know your thoughts!

Tagging in reblog

[briarcrawford]

There are certain character types that are prone to bad luck, and mentor characters are firmly settled in that category. A mentor is anyone who serves as a pillar of guidance for the main character, so it could be the main characters parent, teacher, older sibling, and more. However, no matter what label this mentor has to the main character, after they pass on enough knowledge, something will remove them from the story.

One reason for this separation is as a writing trick to force character independence. If your main character has no one to guide them, there is no one to question their choices, no one to bail them out of trouble, and no one to hold them back. They can go where they want, and all the tough choices are now on their shoulders.

Example: a main character is travelling with and being protected by a gruff old man. He teaches the character along the way, and in the climax, the old man dies after protecting the MC. The man has done his job, and now it is up to the MC to take the lead. His death quite literally symbolizes the final step of transition for the main character to go from child to adult.

If you choose not to remove the mentor, it can be hard to come up with good reasons for why the mentor is not intervening when the main character is in danger, and can make it much harder to show that your main character is maturing.

Media examples of killed-off mentors are: Uncle Ben (Spiderman), Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda (Star Wars), and Kelsier (Mistborn)

Another reason mentors are killed off is for character motivation. Sometimes a need for revenge fuels the character, while other times it is a need to complete a quest to honor the mentors memory. Very often, this mentor will die at the “first doorway of no return” plot point, which is when something big happens, making it so your character can’t go back to their life as it was before.

Example: The main character watches their mentor die, and is devastated. Later, their grief turns into rage, and they use that rage as motivation to get stronger so they can kill the murderer, and in doing so, avenge their mentor.

One warning I have about this plot point is that writers sometimes have the death happen, then the main character moves on from the grief unnaturally quickly. I am not saying your character needs to sulk the whole book, but having times that remind them of their lost mentor can create a burst of emotion in readers, and also show that the loss actually mattered to the main character.

Despite all the reasoning’s and ways to remove a mentor, it is absolutely possible to write both a helpful and present mentor, while also having a maturing main character.

Some examples of present mentors in media are Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Johanna from Hilda, Alfred from the Batman universe(when he is not killed off). You’ll notice that very often, though not always, there is some excuse for the mentor not being present when something very dangerous is happening. However, these stories still work to balance keeping the relationship with the mentor, while also continuing the growth of the character.

Other common options for removing the mentor:

They are captured by someone evil, and may escape in time to help for the climax, or may need saving.

They mysteriously disappear, and the main character does not know what happened. A common example of this is one parent disappearing while the other parent refuses to say what happened.

The mentor gets sick or injured, and the main character either has to look for a cure, or take on the role or rank the mentor once upheld.

In the chaos of a disaster, the main character and mentor are separated. The main character will have to continue on their quest while hoping the mentor finds them again.

Deciding their quest is theirs alone, the main character sneaks off without the mentor.

The main character must head off somewhere the mentor is not allowed to follow (such as an academy, or arena competition)

It turns out that the beloved mentor is working on an evil plot. Discovering the plot, the main character must leave to stop it.

[such-a-barbarian]

Weekly Tag Game!

I've been MIA on vacation with the family, so I've missed a few of these. But I am now back in the land of ice and snow so figured I hop on this one quick! Thanks to @francesrose3, @juliakayyy and @jrooc for this week's tags and to all the lovelies who tagged me last week in things I didn't respond to. 😝

name: Kell

age: closer to Noel then Cameron

star sign: a non-believing Aries

your first language: English

second language: I can speak a grade 9 Ontario level French, which basically means I can say very useful phrases like "I am a pineapple in a library".

favorite lip product: The Body Shop has a line of Hemp products including a lip balm that I am a big fan of.

the best food dish you can make without a recipe: My hubby is a big fan of the meatballs I make. I also make a pretty mean hidden veggie mac and cheese (the things you learn with toddlers at home...)

If you drink tea, what kind? I have a cup of Tetley orange pekeo every morning.

If you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get? I do not drink coffee

favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: Besides Gallavich scenes on repeat? My top watched channel is the Try Guys. 🤷🏻‍♀️

favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: Honestly, probably Buzzfeed. lol

favorite item of clothing right now: My oversized bright pink hoodie from my local independent ice cream shop, with the most adorable ice cream logo on it.

favorite item of clothing in 2012: probably also some type of oversized hoodie

fandom

three movies you recommend: Not really sure if these fit the 'fandom' category but my 3 fav movies of all time: The Princess Bride, Best in Show and The Newsies.

your favorite concert: This is tough, I've seen a lot of great shows! But many moons ago when my hubby and I were first dating Everlast came to a music fest in town. My hubby is a huge fan so we went together and it was a miserable day, pouring rain and cold, but we had SUCH a good time. Cause of the rain it was a pretty small but mighty crowd and Everlast was awesome. It is just such a good memory for me!

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? Nope. This is the only fandom I have ever really participated in and it's been lovely!

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans? Please see above

the best tv show you watched last year: Schimgadoon! Just finishing season 2 now and I am so very sad season 3 wasn't picked up.

do you have a fancasting you just can’t let go of? I will never be over the fact that Arianna Grande was cast as Glinda in the Wicked Movie when they could’ve had Dove Cameron.

a ship you’ve abandoned: I was super into Belle and Shawn from Days of Our Lives back in the day. I read a bunch of fanfic, but never really interacted in the fandom. But once the original actors left the show and I grew out of high school they lost appeal to me.

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history? haha. share with who? on tumblr? probably 10 - nothing would shock any of you. With a random person in my everyday life...probably zero. haha

do you have a fandom tattoo? (do you want one?) I am tattoo free and at this point in my life will mostly remain that way.

what fandom do you wish was bigger? 🤷‍♀️

has a finale ever ruined a show for you? Definitely. The worst for me was How I Met Your Mother. It still makes me so mad.

have you…

swam in an ocean? Many times. Just last week in fact! Thank you, Mexico!

ever been vegan/vegetarian? Nope, we try to do meatless Monday in our house to mix things up but I enjoy meat too much to go full vegetarian.

gone skinny dipping? yup. It is a backcountry camping must!

gone skiing? A ton! It's been a few years since being pregnant/having babies isn't conducive to skiing, but I adore it. It is my favourite winter activity!

been to a convention? nope.

I’ll tag @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @callivich @zutaralesbian @iansw0rld @krysmiss @lupeloto @catluvver118 If you feel like it this week!

[davekat-sucks]

Hey thanks for your perspective! I like seeing what other people think of a piece of media I engage with, and I can take in what another person’s perspective can be compared to mine. I always thought it was tough to keep up with HS^2, and before Yiffy it was boring. I read the prologue for HS^2 and it was nice, but ultimately pointless.

You make a good point about Jane, and I gotta describe the surreal decision for how they builded up to Jane’s villain arc.

So there is a series of snapchats from 11/11/2016 to 12/31/16 (I think) showing conversations between Jane and Roxy (calliope is there) discussing the celebration of the return of the gods on Earth C by blowing up the moon. Jane has her transportalizer hijacked by the felt, run by Jack Noir and Jane’s account now gets post updates from felt members. Roxy and Calliope attempt to get help but Jane successfully defends herself against the felt and enslaves Jack Noir with a tiaratop, and then puts Clover in charge of her snapchat account. She escapes before the moon explodes.

So the buildup to Jane being racist was her being kidnapped and then giving her social media to a leprechaun, who worked for the main bad guy of Homestuck who is last seen on his knees with the evil red Betty Crocker thing around his neck.

Yeah I can see why Jane became evil, she was the CEO of a corporation, and running corporations just make you literally irredeemably cruel to everyone. (If you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic)

To give credit to epilogues/postcanon apologists when they argue that the story’s character’s are not acting out of character, just rather changed over time or were always like this, but just didn’t have the unrestricted worship and authority Earth C gave them, they are in a sense, correct.

What postcanon apologists forget to argue is if the execution of this change in character works within the media it is produced under, and I gotta say, an obscure set of snapchat posts released after the credits that were only dug up by fans following the Homestuck Pinterest account which preluded a character’s villain arc by having her kidnapped and unkidnap herself was a poorly executed start to a vaillain arc, maybe they should have done more with the whole Jack possessed by the tiaratop thing and Jane running the most powerful corporation on Earth C, but I don’t write Homestuck.

The tiaratop thing only gets elaborated on in Homestuck^2 later on when in panels you can see tiaratops on Crockercorp soldiers in the April 2020 updates, nearly a whole year after the epilogues dropped. Before that I’d just assumed all the people decided in unity to be racist because Jane said so and most people can’t think for themselves actually, and just believe what a nice looking authority figure says. That last part might be true considering how well James Roach has gotten along with the Homestuck fandom.

So what is the moral of the story to all this? Well being a CEO of a corporation makes you a fascist because being in a position of power makes you think you’re better than everyone else and that they should be sorted into categories you consider lesser and better by your standards.

Sure there is actual human history to the rise of fascism and why some aristocrats and corporate businessmen supported the cause but I ain’t reading all that, my hypothesis is simple to understand and affirms all the premonitions I have about the world around me, so it must be correct!

So basically the Homestuck snapchats predicted Elon Musk buying Twitter and retweeting conspiracy theorist tweets because Elon Musk is the CEO of 5 companies now.

And look out for Disney CEO Bob Iger, he’s making bad and boring Disney movies with minority lead actors ON PURPOSE to radicalize fans of old, better cinematic franchises to bring about the 4th reich!!!

Funny enough, the aim for Jane Crocker being the villain in Homestuck 2 was also to make her an allegory for DONALD TRUMP. Even the bonus story for these random nothingbuger OCs made by WhatPumpkin, were suppose to be people getting BERNIE SANDERS to become President. They even advertise support for Bernie Sanders on the official HOMESTUCK TWITTER ACCOUNT. Of course, Bernie Sanders dropped out of presidential election. HS Twitter had to delete it and WhatPumpkin had to cancel that side story. Needless to say, the force of politics in Homestuck 2 was that bad.

[burrowbabe]

Give and Take - Chapter 5

"Travis is here." you respond, grimacing in his direction.

She turns to look over her shoulder.

" ... and he's coming this way."

Your ex proved to be one of then worst people on the planet. While that is the consensus amongst most couples who have broken up, you like to believe he takes the cake.

He quickly makes it to your table in a few strides with a smug look on his face.

"Hey guys. Long time, no see."

He leans his arm on the back of your chair, looking down at you.

"Can I help you?" you question with a look of disgust on your face.

"Just being friendly, Anna."

"For once ..." you quip. "I'm trying to have a nice night with my friends if you don't mind, thanks."

He looks around the table as if waiting for someone to beg him to stay. Of course, no one does considering your past with him. Your friends were never his friends despite what he thinks.

"Nice to see no one has changed." He mutters.

Putting his hands up to surrender, he backs away from the table.

"Jeez ... tough crowd. I'll be seeing you around." he directs at you with a wink.

With a roll of your eyes, you quietly apologize to the table for the interruption and motion for the waitress to bring the check.

"No, no. Please, it's my treat." Joe insists, taking the check and handing over his credit card.

"I just want to get out of here." you say and the rest of the group thanks Joe for dinner.

"He's a tool Anna. Forget about it!" Tana says, caressing your back on the car ride home.

"I'm fine ... just annoyed is all."

You pinch the bridge of your nose as you feel a stress headache coming on.

"He always does this. Pops up out of the blue to remind me how miserable our relationship was."

"He must be looking for me to beat his ass again." your brother comments from the row behind, garnering a defeated laugh from you.

"Who was that girl?" Tana wonders aloud.

"I don't know, and I don't care." You reply, watching the nightlife whizz by the window to distract yourself.

--

Travis was a class A narcissist. You had met him for the first time at 15 years old when you attended the Grammy's after party. You had swept the rap category with your debut album.

As you awkwardly made small talk with your music idols, Travis had approached you, offering to sneak you some alcohol. Taking him up on his offer, you and him sipped champagne behind some bushes. He was charming, he made you laugh, and he was incredibly handsome.

You didn't meet again for 2 years, spotting him at a night club one night with your friends. From there, you both were inseparable.

3 long years of dating turned into the most tumultuous experience of your life. The honeymoon phase was far over just a couple months in, but you were convinced that if you love someone, you make it work no matter the circumstances.

It had been 10 months since your very public breakup, and running into him was not getting any easier.

--

It seemed everyone had caught on to the fact that your mood was soiled for the rest of the night. So, the group went their separate ways when the town car dropped you off at your house.

You let the hot water run down your neck and shoulders for a long while, hoping it would relieve some of the tension your ex had caused.

While you felt more comfortable in your sweats, you still weren't totally relaxed.

When you go downstairs, you see Tana passed out on one side of the couch and Joe watching TV.

"Where'd everyone go?" you ask as you approach the living room. Pausing the movie he was watching, Joe turns to look at you.

"Ja'Marr went to meet some friends at the club, Nick went home, and your brother invited a girl over." he explains with a shrug.

Nodding your head with pursed lips, you sit down on the couch next to Joe.

He resumes the movie for a while, you both just silently enjoying Pootie Tang.

"Are you OK?" he asks after a long while.

Taking a deep breath, you shrug.

"Yeah I guess."

You bite your inner cheek and make eye contact. He looks at you intently, noticing the glaze over your eyes from tears that could spill any second.

"I don't even like his music anyway." Joe says, drawing a weak smile from you.

"He's terrible." you say, shaking your head.

A beat of silence goes by.

"I can't say that I didn't see the gossip in the media when you guys broke up. I don't know how guys can just dog girls like that." Joe says.

"Me neither." You mutter. "Took me a long time to figure it out."

You meet Joe's eyes as he nods. You can feel tears rush to your eyes and the last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of him. You didn't even feel sad about the situation anymore, just incredibly exhausted by having to rehash it.

Biting your lower lip, you swallow hard to keep from looking like you were ready to burst into tears.

"I think I'm just gonna put myself to bed." You say, getting up from the couch. "Goodnight."

"Night." He replies. When you're gone, Joe is too lost in his thoughts to realize Tana was awake.

"There is some serious tension there." She says, snapping Joe out of his trance.

"What do you mean?"

"You were totally 2 seconds away from kissing." She says, matter-of-factly.

Shaking his head with a furrowed brow Joe denies it.

"If you say so." She says, definitely not convinced.

"He hit her you know." She says, causing Joe's head to whip around.

"What?"

"Right here in the house. They had a fight and he punched her and threw her down the stairs. Him and AJ got into a brawl, the cops came ... all that." She explains.

"Are you kidding me? That's insane!" Joe replies, flabbergasted.

"Yeah, we couldn't believe it. All because she confronted him about cheating on her." She scoffs and shakes her head.

"She disappeared back home to New York for like 4 months and we didn't hear from her. She was really fucked up over the whole situation. Then randomly she just showed up again, happy as hell." Tana continues.

"Do you think she's OK now?" He asks.

"She's stronger than me, that's for sure. I think she just needed a break from LA. She's definitely back to her old self, which we're all happy about, but I do think she should branch out and find someone new." Tana says, whipping the blanket off of herself.

"Welp, I'm going up to my room. See ya in the morning Joey boy."

Joe spends the next few minutes staring off into space in silence, going over what Tana had told him. Call it mid-Western, mama's boy values, or just plain morals, but he was furious that someone could disrespect a woman like Travis had disrespected Anna.

He couldn't imagine hurting Anna, or any woman for that matter intentionally. She was different, nothing like he had ever encountered before.

He was attracted to her confidence and success, her kindness and generosity, and their difference in upbringing and culture intrigued him.

He put himself to bed that night fantasizing about the ways he would treat Anna differently than her ex. This somehow aroused him and he ignored the urge to touch himself, at least for tonight.

One step at a time. He tells himself.

He wanted whatever might transpire between he and Anna to be organic.

Friends first. He thinks.

Whatever distrust she had in men romantically, he was determined to fix that.

[feminisedlad]

How might one get into "reading for a living" because that's a dream job

it is not a dream job, its called publishing and i make less than 40k a year LOL.

to be less arch, im an editor, and i work in editorial which is the 'flashy' department (lmao), but it's a pretty stressful job. obviously it's one i enjoy because no one would stay in the industry unless they got some reward for it. but still. i say 'reading books' is my job but thats probably only like 40% of it. a lot of my day to day work involves nagging people for deadlines, having meetings abt whether XYZ feature will cost extra, researching marketing trends, etc. YMMV if you work as a book designer or some other dept, i know they have different rules. this isnt to bitch but i think publishing has REALLY good PR among english majors and these are things i wish someone had told me before i sunk money into a publishing degree. BTW: dont get a publishing degree. experience > MA in publishing

so like, i cant in good conscience recommend the industry -- its sort of like going to grad school except with worse pay (the phd candidate gets a stipend; the unpaid intern does not.) but if you already have prion disease and you want to go into publishing, heres what i got

publishing advice below:

first things first, you need book experience. you can get this through the obvious ways (working on ur college lit mag, unpaid internships, copyediting freelance work) but i feel like that prob goes without saying. so what ill say is: if none of those options work, you could always work at a bookstore. lots of the editors i work with actually got their start by saying in the interview, "i worked at barnes and noble and noticed that [category] sells well. i love noticing which books resonate with people" or what have you

i will say that i work in nonfiction publishing, which has some differences from like, editing queer YA fiction. one of those jobs is more competitive than the other. and the industry standards are pretty toxic (if your author misses his deadline and sends the manuscript at 6pm, tough shit, you have to work late to make sure the book doesn't miss its pub date. if you're not thinking about all your books constantly, you must not really care. etc.)

that said one of the best things i can recommend is looking into publishing jobs in different departments. most people are competing for editorial department jobs (things like acquiring and signing books, and being the main point of contact for an author.) but if your passion mostly lies in editing or making things pristine, managing editorial departments often hire production editors who still read through all the books, but their day to day work is more like proofreading, checking barcodes, and other printing related tasks.

theres also finance. finance publishing jobs are never anyones first choice, but on the plus side, you wont have to tell the author why his advance is late. thats the acquiring editor's job. and also lots of people pivot to editorial after they have some years doing finance, design, production, etc.

i will say there are way more remote publishing jobs now than ever. theyre all super competitive but you should apply anyway. if youre entry level, look for "editorial assistant" type roles. some of these actually pay really well: to give an example, harvard hires copyeditors and editorial assistants at a rate which is more than my yearly salary. i mean, its harvard. you gotta look around. but there are more options besides the big 5 publishers. academic publishing is its own field! work at your favorite journal/database! work at JSTOR or wiley!

i dont think theres anything else i would add, other than just random shit talking abt industry standards and quirks of the industry. i dont want to sound whiny because i realize im lucky to be working in my field -- but, i think people oversell publishing as one of "the only career options for english majors."

to be totally honest, most people could make double or triple my salary from being a project manager or corporate editor. so if you enjoy reading and editing, there are better options to you than trade publishing. if you enjoy the act of connecting with authors and making their vision a reality, you might enjoy publishing. or you might not. idk!