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slut-4-rafe · 3 years

Note

Hi! I had a fix idea. So a switch!reader and she is in a relationship with the marauders(without Peter) and the boys find out. And like Remus is trying to convince Sirius to try it since he is a switch too(James is a sub and Remus is a dom) and like maybe the reader is feeling bad about messing up the dynamics and tells Remus to forget about it but her feeling bad eventually causes Sirius to give in and then ✨smut✨ You can obviously ignore this. Just thought I would share my thought❤️❤️

"Absolutely not!"

Sub! James x Dom! Remus x Switch! Sirius x Switch! Fem! Reader.

Summary: You want to try and be a dom for once, though Sirius isn't willing to look at you as anything but a sub. Remus and James on the other hand, want you to take charge.

Warning: Smut!, degration kink, praise kink, fingering (male receiving), daddy kink, mommy kink, oral (male receiving), slapping, probably more but this is just filthy.

Note: I hope this was okay. I don't feel like this was exactly what you were asking for, but I needed to add some drama lol.

Word count: 2,295

You had been feeling off about sex recently. It wasn't the fact that Remus was a dom. Or that James was a sub. Or that Sirius was both. What it was, was that you were a sub, or so they thought.

Yes, you loved being their 'good girl' and making them feel good, but sometimes you wished you could take the role of being in charge. Being the one to praise them for being good. Though you thought none of your boyfriends noticed your odd behaviors during your time in the bedroom, you were very wrong.

You were sat on one of the scarlet couches in the Gryffindor common room, watching as the orange flames danced in the pit. Your peaceful headspace was soon to be interrupted.

"Everyone out!" a voice yelled, startling you.

As people started to stand to leave the common room, a certain red head, also known as Lily Evans, took a stand. "No Potter. This is your common room. You can't just order people around!"

"Actually, Evans, I can. I'm head boy." the bespectacled boy said. Before Lily could argue anymore, you watched as Remus gave her a small pleading smile. Her gaze flickered to you and soon she softened.

"Alright then." she said before walking out of the portrait hole.

You knew what this was about. You knew why they wanted to talk privately, especially somewhere that wasn't the boys' bedroom.

You'd been avoiding them.

Sex was a common thing in your relationship, not that you were complaining at all. But to avoid the sex and the uncomfortable sub position you were constantly put in, you avoided them all together.

You kept your gaze on the flames before you, barely noticing each of the boys had taken seats on the couch beside you. Though you felt their stares lingering on your curled up frame, you ignored them the best you could.

"Pup." Remus said softly. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Us." Sirius corrected.

You heard Remus let out a sight before correcting himself. "Can you tell us, what's going on?"

You didn't speak.

Your heart was beating rapidly and you got the sudden urge to vomit. And when the blush took over your cheeks, you hid your head in your hands.

You were embarrassed.

Embarrassed to explain that you wanted to not only be a sub, but also be a dom. And it wasn't James or Remus you had to worry about, it was Sirius. The raven haired boy liked how things were in the bed, he didn't want a change, and of course you knew that.

"Hey. We asked you a question." Sirius said.

"You not....breaking up with us, are you?" you heard James whisper. Hearing is sad voice broke your heart, and in an instant you revealed your blushed cheeks to the boys and raced to say your next words.

"No!"

James' frown turned into a lopsided grin at your answer. And suddenly you heard a set of chuckles. Turning your gaze to your other two boyfriends, you found both of them smirking.

"What?"

"Your embarrassed." Sirius said.

"Am not!"

"We like seeing you all flustered puppy." Remus smiled.

"Wanna take this to the room?" Sirius' smirk widened, and instantly your shoulders fell.

"No she doesn't." Remus said. "Pup? What happened? Are you feeling okay? Is something bothering you?"

You just gave your head a simple shake from side to side.

"I think I have a guess." you heard the raven haired boy say, and without even looking at him, you knew he had a shit eating grin plastered on his face. "I think our puppy broke a rule."

At those words your head snapped up. "No I didn't!"

"See. From the way your acting I'd say you did." he went on.

"No!"

"Are you back talking?" he smirked as your shoulders dropped yet again. "See. You just broke a rule. Back talking to your daddies."

And here you were, yet again, being put back in the sub position. You ignored the arousal pooling in your panties, as you rolled your eyes with a shake of your head and turned your stony gaze back to the fire. Yes. You were horny. You had been avoiding sex for about two weeks and still, the sub side of you wanted to follow their rules so you stuck to them. One of them just happened to be 'no getting yourself off,' so you didn't.

"I think you need to be punished pup." Sirius said in a sing song voice.

Remus noticed you seemed off. He sent Sirius a stern look, making the boy sink down into the couch. The sandy haired boy stood up and made his way to where he was kneeling in front of you.

"Poppet?" you turned you eyes to meet his brown ones. "What's the matter?"

Your mind swarm with thought and ways to put together your explanation. "I just..." you trailed off, trying to find the perfect words.

"You just what pup?"

"I-" you took a deep breathe and squeezed your eyes shut and allowed the words to come out in a quick, jumbled mess. "I just don't like being a sub all the time! I want to take charge once in a while. I'm a switch! Just like Siri and I-"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Remus cut you off. "Say it again. Slower this time."

You huffed and opened your eyes to meet his yet again. "I don't want to be a sub all the time. Sometimes I want to take charge like you and Siri do. I like being a sub sometimes, but not always. I love being your good girl, but sometimes I just want you to be my good boys."

A silence took over the four of you. The blush that was once on your face turned a deeper shade of red.

"Alright-"

"Absolutely not!" Sirius cut Remus' words off. "No way!"

"Daddy-" Sirius cut off James this time.

"No! I don't care what you two say, I'm saying no!"

Your shoulders slumped. You were put into this uncomfortable position. You wished you could take everything back. You wished you'd never said anything in the first place. You were drowning in your own thought. Your brain muffling the sound of the arguing boys next to you.

"We can't just do what we want Sirius!"

"There can't be three doms and one sub! I mean, James is already sensitive enough. Imagine of we have three people going at him!"

"Hey!" James whined.

"Oh shush. You know it's true."

"Stop. Both of you." Remus said sternly. "Sirius, if there can't be three doms, then you be a sub."

"No fucking way!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I'm a dom!"

"Actually," James said. "Your both Siri. Why can't she be both? That way there would be..."

"Technically, three subs and three doms." Remus concluded.

"No. She's a sub. I don't care what she wants. She will obey you and I. We are her daddies. What does she want? To be called mommy?" he laughs. "That sound fucking stupid."

"Sirius! Stop being a brat-"

"It's fine." you interrupted them. "I shouldn't have tried to change it. Just...pretend I didn't say anything."

You got up and made your way up to the boys' dorm, to which you shared, having not been to your dorm since fifth year. You plopped yourself on the fifth bed, also known as the extra bed, in the room. You grumbled into your pillow, completely oblivious to the arguing going on down below.

"Look what you did Sirius!" James exclaimed. The boys head snapped to James a scowl etched on his lips.

"I didn't do anything."

"Yes. You. Did." Remus seethed. The lycanthrope stepped towards the black haired boy, making him gulp nervously. Remus planted a slap to the boys' cheek. "What did I say about being a brat? Huh?"

"It makes me a bad boy." he said quietly.

"Yes it does. Why can't you just be a good boy like James?"

"I am a good boy!" Sirius whined, he sub side finally showing.

"No. Your not. You hurt puppies feelings."

Realization dawned on the boy and he immediately ran up to the dorm, followed by James and Remus.

"I'm sorry!" Sirius cried once he barged into the room. "I was a bad boy. Hurt mommy's feelings."

You froze and turned to the boys, finding James' hazel eyes blown wide, Sirius practically crying, and Remus standing against the door, a smirk wide on his face.

"What? I-I thought..."

"I'm so sorry mommy. Wanna be a good boy. Wanna make mommy happy."

"I..."

"I think little Sirius needs to be punished. What do you think James?" Remus asked.

"Yes daddy. I think mommy needs to punish Siri." he answered.

"W-what? I-..."

"What do I do to you or James when your bad?" Remus asked as he takes long strides to sit next to you on the bed. "Sirius, come here." The boy sheepishly makes his way over to the two of you until he's standing directly in front of you. "Talk to him. Tell him he's bad. Tell him why he's bad." Remus whispered in your ear. "Take charge doll."

This is what you were waiting for. To take charge.

"You were being mean Si." you said. "Hurt my-"

"Who are you?" Remus asked. "Have to address who you are."

"Hurt mommy's feelings."

"I know! I'm so sorry mommy!" he cried.

You contemplated what to do next. "Punish him." Remus whispered.

You stood up so you were face to face with the boy in front of you. You teasingly unbuttoned his shirt and pulled the item off his shoulders before unbuckling his belt and pulling down his trousers and boxers. You looked over the boy, watching as his hard on sat up straight, leaking precum. "Lay down."

"Yes mommy." he crawled up into the bed. Laying so he was on his stomach, his hands were intertwined on his back and he got a perfect view of the bed right in front of him. You seated yourself so you were sitting at his side. Before touching him though, you addressed the other two boys.

"Hey Jamesie?"

The boy perked up at the call of his name a lopsided smile taking over his features. "Yes mommy?"

"Want to help daddy out? Want to suck his cock while I punish Siri?"

James nodded his head rapidly before hurriedly making his way over to the bed that just so happened to be right in front of Sirius. "Yes mommy. Want to be a good boy."

"Good job bubba."

Remus was quick to discard himself, and James, of their clothes. "Good boy." he cooed as James started working on his cock.

"Alright. What should I do, huh?" you asked the boy.

"Punish me mommy. Wanna be your good boy." he whimpered. You thought for a moment. Thinking of all the punishments you received. You smirked when you got an idea.

"Ass up." you instructed, watching how he instantly rested himself on his hands and knees. You took one hand down to his cock. Hearing him moan just at the touch made your legs squeeze together. "Don't take your eyes off them. And you better not cum. Got it?"

"Yes mommy."

"Good." you smirked.

Your hand slowly went up and down on his cock, feeling all the veins and how it twitched when she squeezed. She took her pointer finger and placed it in her mouth, wetting it. Once it was slick, she took it down so she was tracing his hole, earning moans from him. You pussy clenched around nothing and the arousal sitting in your underwear grew uncomfortable as you listened to James' gags and Sirius and Remus' moans.

You slowly aloud your finger to push in, going slow, because while this was punishment, you didn't want to injure or hurt him in any way. You listened to him moan loudly and his back arch.

"Are you okay?" you whispered.

"Yes! Mommy!" he moaned.

You sped up your finger slightly and fisted his cock. As you kept your movements the same, you turned to James and Remus. James had his nose buried in Remus' happy trail.

"Fuuuuck. Such a good boy." you heard Remus moan before pulling the boys head off so he could breathe. After a moment, Remus forced James mouth back onto his cock and bobbed his head up and down. You, in the mean time, took in the sight of the boy laying in front of you. Eyes glued to your other two boyfriends. Cock twitching as he did his best not to cum. And your finger pumping in and out of his hole. "M'gonna cum James. And you better swallow." you heard Remus instruct, earning a moan from James. And in seconds, Remus was cumming down the boys throat and the room was full of loud moans.

"Mommy! I can't! M'gonna cum." Sirius screamed.

"You better not. You wanna be my good boy right?"

"Yes!"

"Then don't cum. Just ten more seconds."

And when you felt his cock twitch violently in your hand, you drew your hand back and slowly took your finger out. He collapsed down onto the mattress.

"Am I good now mommy?" he asked.

You crawled off the bed and went so you were kneeling in front of his face. "So good baby. Watched them the whole time, and didn't even cum!"

"Now we have to make mommy cum!" James said excitedly.

"Right Jamesie." Remus smiled.

"Want to fuck mommy Jamesie boy?" you asked, getting up and going over to the boy on the bed.

"Yes mommy! Wanna make mommy cum. Wanna be her good boy." he went on.

"Okay James. Remus, help out Sirius over there. He's a good boy." you said.

Taglist: @blowing-mikey @lilicazure @trouble-in-space @herbatkazmiloscia @zzzfour @speakyourselfloveyourself @vierablack @officepass1320 @riddikulusweasleys @mysticlights-blog @mtle @emmaev @whitecastles @teenwolfbitches2 @lliasky @lookscutebutwillfight @pretty-pop-princess-hs @imsiriuslyval

#marauders x reader #poly marauders #marauders smut

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ootahime · 3 years

Text

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga >:) pt. 3

more and more paragraphs ahead. BE PREPARED!

i’m also writing this at 3 am so please bear with the horrendous grammar and punctuation.

chapter 63

i know he’s probably like this with everyone but i love how excited he is bragging about his students to her. he’s like a child telling his mother about an amazing adventure he had with his friends, making sure he mentions every detail. in the anime, their conversation lasted for 3:41 :3 backwards 341 is 143 which means i love you.

1 letter = i

4 letters = love

3 letters = you

chapter 63

i love her fit! i also like how both of them like to wear baggy clothing that accentuates their collarbones `w` it’s like they’re matching in a way. even if she did tell him to cut the crap, she still let him run his mouth to his content LOL i feel like if he didn’t compliment himself at the end, she would have said something different. UGH HE LOOKS SO HAPPY CALLING HER

ah, let me translate the conversation just in case anyone needs it.

utahime: you wanted to talk about the investigation, right?

gojo: well, got any idea who?

utahime: i have no idea. no one seems suspicious. what do we do now? should we ask the students for help?

gojo: yeah, that’s fine. i’m busy so asking the kids would be okay. keep looking. i’m counting on you.

I THINK THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SAY.

OR it could mean that she’s asking if they should start investigating the students. it would make sense either way because gojo says in the next panel that he doesn’t want to assume that the mole is a student, and in chapter 79, gojo sends the trio to utahime to help her.

chapter 63

these two love their students to death. neither of them wanted to assume that the mole was a student. in chapter 79, when utahime is talking to the trio about the mole, nobara points out to the group that the traitor must be from kyoto because utahime is the one who’s reaching out to the tokyo side. utahime has a dismal look on her face, almost like she’s saying, “i didn’t want it to turn out this way -- for this to be true.” after mechamaru says his farewells to miwa on the train, mai tries to talk about what he did to which utahime says, “it doesn’t matter, he’s dead, after all,” with a similar sunken expression. i just love how her care for the students is one of the biggest aspects of her personality that’s been showcased so far. it’s also cool how it ties together with gojo’s belief that no child’s youth should be taken away. i truly think these two have the capacity to understand each other to a deep level, down to the core. seeing as utahime is also a teacher, it’s safe to assume that she also wants to raise the next generation of sorcerers to be strong. utahime and gojo’s similarities and contrasting elements are so interwined, i really wonder if it’s intentional. like am i looking too much into this? are utahime and gojo really meant to be this connected? think about it. similar motivations, care of the kids, contrasting palettes, the bickering, long history. IT’S JUST TOO MUCH.

also can we mention how their phone calls and meetings must be heavily planned out? this means they’ve talked and interacted with each other A LOT behind the scenes. she doesn’t answer his call with “what do you want? don’t bother me on my day off.” she knows exactly why he’s calling her and they even speak in code. she probably meets up with him and tells him to call her on a specific day and at a specific time. they must know each other’s schedules very well in order to execute this investigation in complete secrecy. when he says, “we can never be too sure who is listening in around utahime” it implies that they find calling a risk, so in order to guarantee that there is no one around, they have to meet up in person. see where i’m getting at? they talk A LOTTT and most likely are aware of each other’s daily lives.

the fact that gojo is her main source of stress when he’s literally a 3 hour train ride away from her is hilarious LMAOOOO. you know what that means, right? he must call and text her constantly about random things to annoy her.

chapter 65

ah yes, my favorite moment by far. look at that smile on his face.

chapter 65

he loves saying her name. he probably rushed over with the sole purpose of doing something like this to her LMAOOOO like i mean, mei was in there with her so technically they both needed to be helped but judging from his words and expression, he only wanted to help utahime. notice how mei’s not there in the debris. could she possibly have suspected gojo’s presence or an outside force? or was she fast enough to avoid being in the debris? either way, her lack of presence in this scene helps highlight the fact that this is a special interaction between utahime and gojo. he refers to her in a very familiar sense. the most formal way to address someone is by their last name followed by the honorific, -san. in gojo’s case, he should be calling her iori-san if they weren’t acquainted. he doesn’t even bother to call her utahime-senpai. granted, gojo is not the most respectful and socially competent person out there because geto points this out to him. he isn’t even aware that she finds him annoying because he views her bad attitude toward him as her just playing along with him. he probably thinks she’s flirting back LOLOL

since he asks her “you cryin?” that definitely means that gojo witnessed her crying on one occasion or maybe multiple. who knows, the old utahime could have been a very emotional person. while this is happening, mei is close to gojo, she then asks him if he would console her if she were to cry in a flirtatious manner. gojo dismisses her attempt at flirting with him and says she won’t cry because she’s strong. now normally, you’re supposed to face the person you’re talking to, GOJO. he KEEPS his eyes on her even when more people come to join the conversation.

now, we can all agree that geto, mei, and shoko are better at picking up social cues than gojo. they probably knew the vibe of the conversation and decided to play along with gojo’s antics.

chapter 65

WE were worried about you.

pay attention to the order of the characters that show up. gojo makes his appearance first, then geto, followed by shoko. based on utahime’s reaction to seeing shoko, it’s evident that these two share a close bond. shouldn’t shoko be the one to arrive on the scene first? she’s the closest to utahime and would therefore be more concerned about her condition, right? i know shoko’s technique doesn’t really allow her to do anything other than treat the wounds of others, but if you heard your friend was missing, you would definitely rush to the scene.

look at geto’s reaction when mei says, “you’re the one who’s picking on her, geto. you don’t even know it.” i think it’s mei who’s saying this because gojo calls geto “suguru”. but anyway, mei is aware that they’re picking on her. i don’t think she’s the type to legitimately bully someone for their strength. her reaction to all of this is very playful and her “heh heh heh” is proof of that. when geto shows up and swallows the curse before it gets to utahime, he says, “satoru. it’s not nice to pick on the weak.” by saying this, he pisses utahime off because he too, is joining in on gojo’s joke. i believe he’s unaware that he’s making fun of utahime because his reaction is “gah!” with a sweatdrop. he probably thought gojo was making fun of weak people in general.

geto’s usually a gentleman seeing as it is canon that he is more popular with girls than gojo. BUT WHO KNOWS...you gotta be a specific type of person to be best friends with gojo. maybe he ain’t shit too... okay, my point is that everyone is just playing along. when shoko shows up, utahime is relieved to see her because shoko doesn’t tease her like this. since utahime tells shoko to not become like those two, this implies that geto teases her as well (probably not as much as gojo). we all know geto is really big on looking out for the weak so he probably wouldn’t have insulted her for real.

verdict: utahime being weak is just a joke. i’ve mentioned this so many times, sorry if it’s getting annoying and repetitive hehehehehe...

chapter 65

these three aren’t irresponsible. geto and gojo are a troublesome duo for sure, but they’re dependable. seems unlike them to forget something so simple and essential to pretty much every mission.

chapter 65

here’s my headcanon. they were hanging outside or in the car when their assistant manager got a call. the assistant was informed that two days have elapsed since mei and utahime went on their mission (or last contacted someone).

gojo: that’s weird. mei’s with her so they should have finished exorcising the spirit sooner.

geto: you think something happened to them? maybe it’s a strong special grade.

gojo: utahime probably dragged mei down with her. poor mei-san~

gojo gets up

geto: where are you going?

gojo: going to save utahime! it’s fine i’ll put up a curtain!

manager: gojo wait!!!!!!!!!!!

geto sighs

shoko: that idiot’s always running off without us.

they pin the blame on gojo for saying that he’ll put up a curtain and leaving the assistant manager behind. you know what this means? he ran and the manager couldn’t catch up HEHE... why the rush, gojo? were you actually concerned about her?

tbh i don’t see gojo ever running to something unless it’s urgent. the fact that he ran to save her says a lot.

----

let me know if you have any thoughts or questions! i forgot to add this but gojo had a more serious expression when he was explaining how they must’ve been trapped in a barrier that messes with time. he then states, “we thought it was weird even though you’re here, mei.” i know he was probably worried sick because if mei couldn’t be contacted then that means something must’ve happened to utahime too. okay that’s it for now. i’ll be bringing up this little detail i’ve noticed about utahime in the manga next :3

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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themoontoyourshine · 3 years

Text

I would just like to start off by saying how grateful I am for all of the love and support I am receiving on this story. I try not to cry with every like, comment, reblog, and new follower. You guys are amazing and I can never thank you enough!!! This wouldn’t be possible without Lin @ssahotchswife She is a huge inspiration. If you like my work, you’ll love hers. Make sure you’re following her.

SUMMARY: What happens when Aaron’s neighbor has a bad dream? Will he see just how much she cares about him and his son?

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x Neighbor(fem)! Reader

WARNINGS: Some content may be triggering so please read before continuing. 18+ Minors DNI

INCLUDES: Strong language, heavy flirting, talk of sex, food and alcohol consumption, and another steamy make out session. Please let me know if I miss anything.

WORD COUNT: 3,066

A/N: This was supposed to be a quick one shot but it got away from me. I currently have over 10,000 words and I’m still writing. This is chapter 4 of 5 and I plan on updating weekly. This story has a little bit of everything. Hopefully you laugh, get a little turned on, and believe in love again by the time it’s over lol. This story will eventually contain SMUT (next chapter is nothing but it). I’ve never done anything like this so please be patient with me. Feedback is always appreciated. AGAIN, I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING!!! I love you guys so dang much my heart may burst 😘😘😘

Link to chapter one:

Link to chapter two:

Link to chapter three:

Taglist: @ah-blossom @tenatiousbookworm

Daydreams and Nightmares

Chapter four

You sat on the edge of your bed applying lotion to your now smooth skin. You slipped into the bra and panty set he had laid out. Making your way back into the bathroom, you brushed your teeth and put on your face cream. You hung up your robe and towel before blow drying your hair. You decided to keep your makeup simple, foundation, mascara, and your go to flavored gloss with just a hint of color. You put a dab of your favorite perfume on your wrist and rubbed it in. After applying your deodorant, you made your way back into your bedroom. You shimmied into your jeans and tank top. You opted for the heels and put the flats back in your closet. As soon as you opened your door, you were hit with an amazing aroma.

“Mmm, what smells so good?” you ask, as you make your way into the kitchen.

“Hopefully it’s the salmon with lemon and butter I’m baking” he answers “but I’m also making asparagus with lemon rice.”

“That sounds perfect” you reply, starting to actually feel a little hungry.

“I poured you a glass of wine, it’s on the table. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Never” you joke “can I do anything to help?”

“Nope, for once you’re going to listen and do what I say.”

“Excuse me” you said with as much sass as you deemed necessary. He finally turned around to face you for the first time since you entered the kitchen.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

You wanted to say something back but you decided against it.

“Good girl” he cooed. That shouldn’t have made you shutter the way it did. His eyes trailed over your body at a snails pace. If it had been anyone else, you might have been self conscience. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Th-thank you” you finally managed to get out “you dressed me.”

“It’s not the clothes, it’s the woman in them.”

Was he aware of the effect he was having on you? He had to be. Was he doing this on purpose? Was this a game? No, Aaron would never play a game like that. He isn’t 12. You finally looked at him. Really looked at him. He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. Have his hands always been that big? Have his veins always been that prominent? Why are you noticing this now? And why is it such a turn on?

“Y/N, you’re staring.”

“Right. Sorry.” You quickly averted your gaze. You walked over to the side of the counter and hoisted yourself on top.

“Comfortable?” he asked. You managed a nod in response.

“Are you really going to just sit there and watch me cook?”

“Hey, I have front row tickets to the hottest show in town” you said, taking a sip of your wine.

“Is that a fact?” he asked, chancing a glance in your direction. Again, you just nodded.

“I got a call from Morgan earlier” he started “he wanted to know if we really were just friends. I told him we were. He said if you were single, he’d like your number.” You raised your eyebrows at that. “I told him I’d have to see if you were ok with me giving him your number first. Are you ok with me giving him your number?” It almost felt like Aaron wanted you to see someone. Maybe if you had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t bother him so much. However, at the moment, he was in your house. You didn’t tell him to come over. This was of his own free will.

“Well, he is sweet” you began “but he’s not my type.”

“Tall, dark, and handsome isn’t your type?” he asked.

“It’s not that. He is attractive but he seems like a player. I’m not into the whole one night stand thing. I never have been. I may talk a good game but I’m relatively inexperienced” you admit.

“I see.”

“Besides, I kind of have a little, tiny, minuscule crush on someone else” you say with a nervous laugh.

“Oh really, anyone I know?” he teases.

“I doubt it” you tease “just some guy in this building. He’s handsome, smart, kind, and funny. Not to mention he has this amazing son who stole my heart the day I met him.” His intense stare is on you and you don’t know how much longer you can handle it. Luckily, you spot a plate on your island that you don’t recognize. It’s covered in saran wrap.

“What’s that?” you ask, changing the subject.

“Garcia brought me some of her famous homemade brownies yesterday. I thought I’d share. It’s really gooey. We have to save some for Jack. He loves it almost as much as I do.”

“How sweet. I love gooey brownies.”

“Why don’t you set the table. I’m almost ready to dish up our plates.”

“Yes, sir” you say, hoping off the counter. You feel his firm hand grip your hip, holding you close to him. You look like a deer in the headlights and he looks like he was about to say something. Suddenly he lets you go and returns to the burners, making sure everything is off. It takes you a second to recalibrate but you manage. You lay the silverware out with the napkins. After placing your glass of wine in front of a seat, you turn to help him with the plates. After everything is set out on the table, you go back to the fridge and grab the bottle of wine. Neither one of you are out yet but you like to be prepared. He pulls your chair out for you like a true gentleman.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this” you admit.

“Please, it was nothing. I enjoy cooking for people. Not myself especially, and Jack lives on dinosaur nuggets and mac n cheese.”

“I’m the same way. I love to cook for people. If you hadn’t showed up tonight, dinner would have popcorn and ice cream.”

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I’m really glad you showed up” you said, taking a bite of food “this is delicious.”

“I’m glad you like it. Are you only glad I showed up because I cooked for you?” he said with that damn smirk.

“No, I’m not only glad because you cooked for me, you company doesn’t completely suck. Plus, you’re easy on the eyes.”

“Yeah, you might have mentioned that a time or two before.” You couldn’t help the involuntary roll of your eyes.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll put your eyes back where they belong.” You instantly shifted your eyes forward again. You were so confused. He kept switching from sweet and funny Aaron to this new assertive Aaron. You weren’t complaining, you’ve just never seen this side of him. “Now, you mentioned something about being inexperienced. How inexperienced are we talking here?” You choked on your wine…hard.

“Aaron!” you finally managed to get out, after your coughing spell.

“What? We’re friends. Friends talk about sex.”

“I am far too sober for this conversation” you say, reaching for the bottle of wine in the middle of the table and topping off your glass. “You get 5 questions and then we are moving on.”

“Fair enough” he agrees “how many boyfriends have you had?”

“Two.”

“How many people have you slept with?”

“One.”

“Interesting. Did you sleep with this person more than once?”

“Yes.”

“Would you ever sleep with a woman?”

“Yes. You only get one more. Better make it good.”

“I intend to. What things are you into sexually?” You damn near choked again.

“So this is what you and Dave talk about? You know what Spencer likes and what he doesn’t? What about Derek? Do you know what floats his boat?”

“Y/N.”

“No. You don’t get to y/n me. You said friends talk about sex. So I figure you must know all of this about the rest of your friends” you say, hoping to prove your point.

“Trust me, I know a lot more about Dave than I care to. Most of it I didn’t ask. You’re right about Morgan. He is a play boy. For all I know, Reid is a virgin.”

“Spencer is not a virgin.”

“How do you know that?”

“Look at him!”

“Ok, I think you’re right. Time for a new topic” he agrees.

“Finally.”

“Dessert?”

“Dessert sounds perfect” you say taking the plates to the sink. When you turn back around, Aaron is already at the island. You decide to hop up on the island next to the plate of brownies.

“You know, you can ask me questions too” he says.

“I’m not that nosey” you tease, not telling the truth.

“I don’t buy it. There is something on your mind that you want to ask me. I can tell.”

“I don’t like profilers.”

“So I’m right.”

“Just pass me a brownie.”

“Why won’t you just tell me what you’re into?”

“Because,” you sigh, finally giving in “I don’t know. We never really did all that much. I’m sure there is plenty of stuff out there that I would like if I tried it.”

“What did the two of you do” “If you don’t mind me asking” he tagged on at your pointed stare.

Looking down at your dangling legs, you took a deep breath. “I would go down on him and we would have sex…with him on top.”

“Go on.”

“That’s it” you said. Now it was his turn to choke. You passed him his glass of wine as he coughed and he took a sip.

“So he never bent you over anything?”

“Nope.”

“What about foreplay? Did he use his fingers?”

“Not really.”

“What about your breasts?” Did they get attention?”

“He would jiggle them from side to side on occasion but it never really did anything for me” you chuckled. “I would bring up the idea of trying something new but he would always just say maybe next time. I think it played a part in our breakup.”

“And he never went down on you?”

“No” you said, as you watched him run his hands down his face while groaning. “Not every guy likes to” you try defending your ex.

“Correction” he states, standing between your legs now “boys don’t like to, men love to.” At that you bit your bottom lip while he held your gaze. “Now” he says, completely casually “what were you going to ask me?”

“Nothing” you say, trying to clear your head, as he goes back to eating another brownie.

“Out with it” he insisted.

“Ok, I guess I was just wondering what was up with you going from sweet and funny to assertive at the drop of a hat.”

“Why? Does it turn you on?”

“What? No!” you say, a little too quickly, looking down at your glass of wine.

“Your body language is telling another story.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your squeezing your thighs together like your life depends on it, trying to find an ounce of friction.”

“Ok smarty pants, if you know so much, why did you ask me what I like sexually? Can’t you just profile that about me” you ask, almost challenging him to do so.

“Ok, I’m not in the habit of profiling my friends, but I’ll make an exception. I think you’d be a natural submissive in the bedroom. Obviously I can’t know your every desire. I think you’d be eager to please. You’d probably like it a little rough. What do you think? Is that something you’ve fantasized about?” You just shrugged, knowing that if you spoke your voice would betray you. “I think you do know. You don’t have to say it. Your dilated pupils and labored breathing are a dead giveaway.” You brought your glass of wine up to your lips to finish the last sip as he just watched you. As he ate the last bite of his brownie, he swiped his thumb over his lip to collect some melted chocolate. In an effort to regain the upper hand, you grabbed his wrist and directed his thumb to your mouth. He watched as you licked his thumb before taking it in your mouth. As soon as your lips closed around his thumb, you circled the digit with your tongue. Your eyes never left his as you sucked his thumb clean. His jaw visibly clenched. He slowly slid his thumb out of your mouth.

“Did I thank you for cooking dinner? It was amazing.” You hoped changing the subject would work.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Would you like to stay a little longer? We can hang out on the couch?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, well take a seat. I’m going to load the dishwasher. I’ll join you in a minute. The remote is on the coffee table.” He listened and headed for the living room. You were loading the dishwasher thinking about everything that had occurred over dinner. Him flirting with you was torture but you still invited him to stay. It was the kind of torture you didn’t mind enduring if it meant more time with Aaron. You carried your wine glass with you to the living room along with the bottle. As you sat down, Aaron was still fiddling with the remote. You took the remote in order to help Aaron find something. He wasn’t having it.

“Hey, I was using that” he said reaching for the remote.

“Well you’re not anymore” you say, holding it out of his reach.

“Sweetheart, this is not a game you’re going to win” he says, leaning across your body on the couch.

“Just tell me what you want to watch and I’ll turn it on for you” you say, fully laying down on the couch to keep the remote away from him. Before you know it, Aaron is completely on top of you. You hope he doesn’t notice the way your breath catches in your throat. You’ve had many dreams about Aaron that start similar to this. You decide to cave and relinquish control of the remote. Aaron smiles in victory but doesn’t proceed to move. You watch as Aaron points the remote at the tv and turns it off. Your eyes follow his arm as he sets the remote down on the coffee table. All of a sudden, his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Your skin tingles where his fingers brushed your face. Half of your mind is playing back your kiss from this morning while the other half is consumed with the smell of his cologne. Your brain malfunctions and you’re talking before thinking.

“You smell good” you blurt out without realizing it. You see his perfect dimples. You would do anything to freeze this moment. You want to be the one that makes him smile forever.

“Thank you. What’s going on in that brain of yours? I can see the wheels turning.”

“It’s nothing” you lie.

“How many times are we going to go over this? You can’t lie to me. You’re an awful liar” he jokes.

“I was just thinking about our kiss this morning. I think I liked it a little too much.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My toes are still curled” you say, burying your head so he can’t see you.

“Eyes up here” he says, lifting your head. “I liked it too.” You decide to swallow your pride once and for all.

“At the risk of sounding pathetic, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why don’t you like me?”

“I like you.”

“You know what I mean. Is it the age thing? Are you worried about what your friends might think? Is it me?”

“It’s not you” he sighs “I guess it’s a combination of the first two.”

“I think your team would be accepting. They want you to be happy” you say, running your fingers through his hair.

“I guess.”

“So, it’s my age. Too bad I’m not 40” you say giggling.

“Hey, if we’re playing this game, I want to be 20 years younger.” You both chuckled at that.

“Part of my attraction to you is the age difference. If you were 20 years younger, I might not think you know what you’re doing.”

“So, that’s what does it for you. After such a bad experience with your first partner, you’re looking for someone who knows how to make you tremble” his voice suddenly deeper as he looks at you. “Did your boyfriend ever even get you off or did you have to finish by yourself?”

“I would get off if I rubbed my clit while we were having sex. He didn’t always like that I did it though” you confessed.

“Too insecure. Tell me, have you ever played with your pussy while thinking of me?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say yes but you knew you couldn’t lie so you just slightly nodded slowly. “Fuck” he swore as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Do you want me to touch you, sweet girl?” You really did but you knew you had to be honest with your best friend.

“Aaron, I have dreamed about this moment for months but I have actual feelings for you. I can’t be with you for just one night. It’ll hurt too much. As much as I want you right now, I’d rather say goodnight and part as friends than spend the night together and be heartbroken in the morning. I’m sorry. I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear but I ju”

For the second time today, you were cut off by Aaron’s lips finding yours. This kiss was passionate and again you didn’t even bother trying to fight for dominance. It was a battle you happily lost. You moaned shamelessly into the kiss.

“Y/N, I am so sick and tired of trying to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you. You have been consuming my every thought since the day I met you. The kiss this morning was my undoing. I can’t wait another second to make you mine. You need to understand something. If we do this, there is no going back. You’re mine” he practically growled the last two words in your ear.

“I’ve been yours for 4 months” you pant, as he leans down for another kiss.

#aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x female reader #hotch x female reader #hotch x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner smut #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch smut

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aminiatureworld · 4 years

Text

Injury

Characters: Albedo, Childe, Diluc, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,657

Warnings: Blood, injury, slight violence, minor villain death

Premise: Sometimes the pain of others can hurt even more than one’s own. In which the reader is injured.

Author’s Note: Week 3 of keeping up my writing schedule let’s go! This week is a bit angsty, my forte (I think?) As usual part one – with Albedo, Childe, and Diluc – will be posted tonight and part two – Kaeya, Xiao and Zhongli – tomorrow.

At first this was going to be both your injury and your recovery but then the first character hit over 1.5k words so I guess this is going to be a pseudo-series. I really don’t know the definition of concise lol.

In the first part of my last fic I realize I gendered a word. I’m super sorry about that, and I promise to fix it and tag properly next time. Childe gets to go into the stone forest cause I say he can. I’m not sure if waypoints are diegetic or nondiegetic. I decided to make them so. Also the first hospital in China was opened in the early 1800s, and I know hospitals aren’t very “fantasy” but Teyvat has good medical science in my book.

Albedo

Throughout his life the one thing that Albedo never truly understood was peoples’ obsession with modesty, even when it was false.

There was a lot that Albedo was proud of in regards to himself; his intellect for one, his curiosity, his abilities as an alchemist, the fact that he feared little in the world. Above all perhaps was the pride he held in carrying himself without falling into hysteria, his grip on his emotions was impeccable and whenever he was unfortunate enough to see others gripped with a heavy emotion he was always left with a sour feeling in his mouth – a disgust for someone who had so little sense they couldn’t even control themselves.

This was a pride that left him quickly enough upon seeing you injured.

It wasn’t meant to be a dangerous expedition. It’d merely been a check of the vast network of caves and tunnels that could be found in Dragonspine. A route affair, mundane even in how simple it supposedly was. There was nothing to be afraid of. Albedo had told you that back at home and you’d smiled in agreement. Yes, there was nothing to be worried of, a few hilichurls at most and a temperature that could be easily kept in check with the right preparation. You’d be there and back in less than a day, no problem.

Everything, however, had gone horribly wrong. The cave that you two intended to explore turned out to be a vast network, full of tight tunnels and half submerged under freezing water. You two had managed that well enough, although once Albedo had almost slipped and fallen into the underground river, the whole outlook of the expedition was looking drearier and drearier.

Eventually you’d reached what had seemed to be the heart of the cave, floor after floor of ice with a hole in the middle, all lit up by crystal and scarlet quartz. It was an impressive sight to be sure and you’d stood a little ways away from the edge, observing the way the light refracted off the ice coated walls, waiting for Albedo to be finished with his sampling, enjoying the awesome sight in front of you.

Albedo had just finished when you’d let out a yelp. Whirling around he saw what had captured your attention – a wild snowboar who’d managed to wander in. The two of you watched the very confused creature in awe, only staring as it stomped the ground and charged right into the wall.

That was a mistake.

All of the sudden the cavern started shaking violently. Cursing the boar for its terrible – or maybe impeccable – aim the two of you sprinted towards the exit. You’d managed to gain the lead, not bogged down by Albedo’s extensive equipment, and had turned around near the beginning of the tunnel in order to help him. Just as you were heading back one of the many icicles that lined the roof of the cave came undone, landing with a sickening thud right where your collarbone met your spine.

You’d dropped like a rock, and Albedo felt his stomach to turn water and his mind turn to static, as suddenly all logic seemed to leave him, instead replaced by dread so overpowering he seemed to lose track of his surroundings, chained to the ground by something greater than himself.

You groaned and time seemed to unfreeze itself, instead accelerating at a breakneck pace. Leaping into action Albedo immediately dropped all of his equipment, the sound of glass vials shattering muffled by the cases that held them and the panic that was gripping him. Hauling you over his back he ran through the tunnels, wincing every time you made a sound and biting his tongue every time he shimmied through a particularly tight spot and it seemed it might not let the two of you pass as you were.

He could feel the blood seeping through his gloves. Your blood. Only a few minutes ago he wasn’t even sure that icicles could make one bleed. Now he wished he’d never found out, wished that he’d never asked to explore the caves of Dragonspine, wished that you’d never agreed to it. How could he have been so foolish, so blind to the dangers that waited in vast caverns of ice and snow, where the slightest wrong movement could spell your death.

Albedo could’ve cried when he sighted the camp. Indeed he might’ve, realizing that there were frozen tears on his cheeks only after you’d been taking to the medical tent. He hadn’t noticed, hadn’t noticed anything really in those terrifying moments between when you’d gotten hurt and when he’d made it to the camp. It all seemed not to exist in his mind, washed away by the emotions that had wracked his mind and body. Even now he couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop the tide of emotions that was crashing into him like a wave, utterly helpless as he was thrown this way and that.

The pride that he’d clung to was in tatters, and Albedo looked upon it now in disgust. He’d been so innocent, so foolish, perhaps mercifully so. But all that was gone, and his certainty had gone with it. There was nothing left of him almost; nothing except fear and anger and worry, and Albedo wondered when he might ever feel sure of everything again.

It was cloudy when you were released, arm in a sling, brace around your shoulders. Albedo wasn’t sure how much time had passed, it had seemed like an eternity. The urge to run up to you and wrap you in the tightest hug imaginable was intense, but the sight of the brace held him back. Instead he brought you hand up to his face, kissing your palm before holding it against his cheek. You smiled at that, but there was fatigue in your eyes and you said nothing. Albedo couldn’t blame you. He moved to let go and turn towards the path, somehow feeling unworthy of holding your hand after being the cause of your predicament, but you quickly grasped his hand once more. He smiled a slightly shocked smile, but made no move to let go.

As you two walked back to Mondstadt Albedo felt himself once more flooded by negative thoughts. Lowering his gaze so he was looking at the ground he paused for a moment.

“I’m sorry.”

Albedo found his voice cracking, tears welling his eyes even as he chastised himself for how stupid he must’ve looked. You were safe, you were going to be alright, the head of the clinic had said so himself. Why then did he still feel like he might crumble any minute? Shaking his head he moved to cover his face with his hand.

“Hey.” There was still fatigue in your voice, but there was also an urgency in it. You squeezed the hand you were holding, moving so you were facing him. “Hey, is it okay if you look at me?”

Albedo moved his head up slowly. He was truly crying by now, having given up all efforts to do so otherwise. You smiled softly as his eyes met yours.

“I’m alright, okay? And you shouldn’t blame yourself for this. I doubt that even the drunkest man in Monstadt could’ve guessed a wild boar would wander in a cavern and start a cave in. You can’t control fate you know.”

“I know.” Albedo forced the words out, although more and more it seemed impossible, his throat was too constricted to be anything more than barely coherent. “Still. I should’ve known. And I should’ve kept it together. I, why am I crying? Why wasn’t I in control? Why, why am I still not in control?”

“Because you’re human Albedo.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “You’re the most wonderful human alive, but you’re still human. You mustn’t beat yourself up for what you are. I’d rather you cry anyways. There’s nothing noble in hiding your emotions, they must come out one way or another. So please, please cry all you want, long and hard. And tomorrow you can start your penance, alright?”

“Penance?” Albedo mumbled, still crying. You nodded, smile still nothing but fondness and understanding.

“Well someone’s going to have to help me for the next two months. And I know you’re too much a gentleman to make me stumble along myself.”

“Of course.” Albedo’s answer came fast and sure. He paused then, realizing that, by distracting him with the weeks to come, you’d managed to give him a pocket of time to calm himself, to feel himself once more firmly planted on the ground. Love mixed with anger and sadness in his mind, and for a moment he could only marvel at you.

Albedo leaned down to kiss you on the forehead. He’d do whatever he could to help you, this he promised himself. And this too he promised himself; you’d never ever be hurt on his watch again.

Childe

If there was anything that Childe hated it was a lack of control. The feeling of everything slipping through his fingers was something he’d felt often as a child, and that feeling had haunted him. When he’d signed up as a member of the Fatui he’d promised himself that he’d never feel that way again. He’d protect those he loved and he’d keep his life from falling apart. It was a promise he was determined to keep, no matter what.

You two had decided to go hiking. Or rather it was less of a hike and more of a rock climb. Childe had long bragged that the Huaguang Stone Forest was the most beautiful place to watch the sunset, and you’d finally gotten a free weekend. Waypointing your way there initially, your partner had taken an almost childlike joy from choosing which mountain was the highest.

“Childe have you decided yet? The sun is almost at the horizon.” You called out at the Harbinger. Childe was, much to your dismay, the stronger climber, and had taken to scouting ahead of time to see if the spot you were climbing to was any good. Now he glanced down at you, mischief written all over his face, his smirk flashier than usual. He put his hand on his chin and looked outward once more.

“Hmm… I don’t know…”

“Childe!” You exclaimed, your arms slightly killing you. You really wish that you’d convinced Childe to bring a roped and belay. Unfortunately that request had been met with a whine and an accusation of “that’s cheating!” You’d laughed it off at the time, but now you were starting to regret your partner’s recklessness. As much as you were enjoying your time – being alone with Childe always felt intensely special and you cherished every moment of it – you were also impatient to actually watch the sunset, and in your hurry you wondered if it might not be faster to climb back down and watch from the bridge.

“I do believe that we’ve found the tallest one!”

“Thank the Seven.” You groaned, hurrying to get to the top. Childe chuckled, watching you scale up the mountain.

“Oh come now, I had to make sure it was perfect! Besides you looked so comfortable perched there, it almost hurt to disrupt you.”

“When I get up there I’m killing you.” You shot back, reaching towards the ledge. Still laughing Childe stuck out his hand and you moved to grab it, pushing off with your feet as much as possible, determined to make it up the mountain in the next move.

The laughter died from Childe’s lips the moment your hand missed. Instead it was replaced by fear, cold and sharp as a knife, plunging straight through his heart. Time seemed to slow down, but you were falling so fast, falling, falling, falling. Catapulting himself off the top of the mountain Childe reached out for you. In his mind he was screaming. Glide. Oh please, for the love of the Seven glide. Please, don’t fall, it’s so high up. I couldn’t bear it. Please.

Still the words were stuck in his mouth, and his throat only constricted more when you hit the bridge with a sickening thud. Releasing his own wings at the last moment he landed on the bridge too, only a few meters away from where you were now crumpled up. Running over he scooped you up. You’d managed to right yourself at the last moment in the air so that you were landing feet first, but though you’d managed to protect your head your legs dragged limply, and one was bent at an awkward angle. Looking at your mangled form, listening to you as you screamed and whimpered in pain, Child felt overwhelmed by his vast helplessness. There was nothing he could do. Burying his head in your neck he sobbed.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

The journey to Liyue was excruciating, both for you and for Childe. Although there was no external bleeding the initial adrenaline of falling had no worn off and you felt every jolt and movement as Childe slung you on his back, wrapping his arms around your thighs and carrying you to the nearest waypoint and then to the Liyue doctor. Even when Childe was standing still you thought you might die from the sheer pain. So intense it was that sometimes you gave up, blacking out only to wake up feeling like you were drowning, the burning air around you almost too hot and too heavy to breathe.

Childe willed himself to numbness throughout the journey, only allowing him to collapse once you’d reached the hospital, practically ramming into the nearest chair in the waiting room, the situation washing over him.

How could he have let this happen? Hadn’t he made a promise? A promise that he’d protect those he’d love, that he’d never lose control of a situation again, that he’d never let those he cared about suffer? Where was that promise now? His whole world seemed to collapse in on itself now. He hadn’t been able to protect you. Despite his training, his reflexes, his vision, his everything. You’d still fallen. And as powerful as Childe liked to think he was, he still couldn’t turn back time and stop your suffering.

Finally the doctor opened the door and Childe was let in to see you. After informing him that you were on painkillers the doctor left you two alone. Faced with you laying on the hospital bed Childe sank into the nearest chair. Lacing his fingers through yours he drew circles on your hand over and over. For a moment you two said nothing, then Childe let his head rest on your hands. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, voice raw.

“I know.” You replied, mind a bit hazy from the painkillers, the magic infused herbs luring you to sleep. Still you pushed forward, needing to say something before Childe let himself be carried away. “I know, but it’s not your fault. And it’s not irreversible. The doctor says in 8 weeks I’ll be fine. Until then, we’ll just have to improvise.”

“But what about your adventuring? Your commissions? How can you do those if you can’t –”

“I’ll figure it out. Adventuring isn’t just monster slaying you know. And there’s no catastrophe in being in a wheelchair or on crutches.” You shook your head. Childe was still crying, and you could feel his tears running down your linked hands.

“Ajax.” Childe’s head shot up, surprised. He loved when you called him by his true name, it always seemed like a song falling from your lips. And now that song was filled with understanding, if not a bit of sadness. “I want you to not blame yourself.” You continued. “I know it’ll be hard, I know that these feelings won’t go away. And I’m not blaming you for them. I’m not happy about this either, of course I’m not, I just went through a world of pain. But I won’t be able to stand watching you beat yourself up for 8 weeks, I won’t be able to stand that look in your eyes every time you look at me. So please, please stop. If not for yourself then for me.”

Childe stared at your for a while. You waited, not wanting to rush his thought process. Eventually though he shook his head, a small smile finally breaking his expression.

“You’re too good for me you know. Alright. I promise to try. It’s the least I could do.”

“Thank you.” You smiled. Childe smiled back. He didn’t know how you managed to do it, how you managed to take his fears and look them in the face. All he knew at that moment was that he loved you. And for now, that was enough.

Diluc

Diluc stared in horror as the Fatui Bracer aimed a Geo projectile right at you, his horror multiplying into rage and terror as the concentrated energy flew through the air and landed right at the base of your ribcage. You crumpled at the impact, wheezing heavily, apparently stunned from the power and speed of the attack.

How could this have happened? Diluc knew that the Fatui were gathering in Mondstadt, something that the winery owner turned Darknight Hero couldn’t stand. But never did he think to see Fatui skirmishers right outside the walls of Monstadt, strolling along the beach of Cider Lake as if it were Snezhnaya. Never did he think he’d have to see another loved one felled by a member of the Fatui, and never did he think that he could bear the emotions coursing through him now.

He made quick work of the Bracer, hacking and swinging without rhyme or reason, barely able to comprehend what was going on. Everything felt oddly separated from him, as if he were watching through someone else’s eyes, watching as he burned through the Bracer’s shields as easily as if it were made of wax, leaving the man groaning and screaming in pain before silencing him altogether.

The feeling of separation only grew more powerful as he ran over to you. You seemed to be conscious, but your breathing was shallow and ragged, and the place where the Fatui’s attack had hit seemed mangled, one of your ribs having seemingly been broken. You were screaming, though it was hoarse and low and tired. Still if you were screaming you were alive, and at least Diluc could hold onto that.

Carrying you in his arms Diluc winced as you let out another shriek of pain. You two weren’t far from the gates of Monstadt, but every step seemed to be a thousand steps and what was surely only a few hundred meters instead felt like tens of thousands of miles.

You were going to be alright. At least the doctor had said you were going to be alright. Surely Diluc could be grateful for that? But he didn’t feel grateful, instead he felt anger and hatred welling up inside of him. He’d told himself it was no good to be an angry or hateful person, that doing so would only push you away, would only destroy the fragile bonds he’d managed to build between you and a selection of others. But still the anger and the hatred lingered, refusing to be quelled or stuffed away.

He wanted revenge. Revenge on the Fatui, on the Tsaritsa, on the uncaring world that let him be so tormented, and that so tormented the ones he loved. How could this have happened to you? You who were made of goodness, more goodness than he’d found in the world beforehand. How was this a fitting reward?

It was decided that you could stay at the Winery during the 6 grueling weeks that was to be your convalescence. Diluc said nothing on the way there. He was afraid what would happened if he opened his mouth. Already he knew his face was betraying the feelings welling within him. He didn’t need to make it worse, not now.

Arriving at the Winery Diluc carried you to his room, the nicest room there was. Up to this point you’d said nothing, and Diluc wondered if you weren’t too groggy to do so. However when you spoke up there was an urgency in your voice, one he simply couldn’t ignore.

“You’re angry. You’re trying to hide it but I know it.”

“I’m not the one in pain right now.” Came a curt reply. Diluc was looking at you with what others might’ve mistaken as a glare. Perhaps it was even that, but there was something beneath it, and you knew it ultimately wasn’t directed at you.

“I am. And I’m upset too. But I’ve accepted it. You need to accept that you’re angry too. Burying it won’t help, it’ll only make it worse you know. You have to acknowledge your emotions. You don’t have to hide them. At least not in front of me.”

The expression on Diluc’s face finally broke. The anger there was raw and palapable, but there was also something else, something he’d also buried.

“I was… terrified.” Diluc finally let out. “I was so terrified it frightened me. I… I thought I was going to lose you.”

“And you shouldn’t have to hide that either.” You prodded softly. “But I’ll be alright, I promise. So please, just be open with me and then we’ll go from there.”

Diluc nodded, finding himself unable to speak. Walking over to where you were laying down he peppered kisses all over your face, light and ethereal as butterflies.

He’d do right by you. That’s what he promised himself, after all the hiding and the pain. He’d do right by you. But he’d also not forgive the Fatui for what they’d done, and tonight when Monstadt was asleep the Darknight would be watching. And for any Snezhnayan roaming the streets and lurking in the shadows, there’d be no forgiveness.

#this is being posted later in the night than wanted so sorry about the typos #I'll reedit tomrrow morning I promise!#okay wow my computer almost crashed right now okay #albedo #childe #diluc #albedo x reader #childe x reader #diluc x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #scenarios #my writing

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keanureevesisbae · 3 years

Text

sugar sugar - the wedding

Summary: It's Becky and Henry's wedding day 🥰

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Daddy kink, anal play, sex, mention of squirting, overstimulation (just what they usually do lol)

Wordcount: 2.4k

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter //

Today is the day. Henry is gonna marry the love of his life. When he kissed her for a short goodbye this morning, he was dragged away by Gino and Peter, who were gonna help him get ready.

Since Becky couldn’t decide who she wanted to be her maid of honor, both of her friends stepped up to the task, which caused Gino and Peter to share the duties of best men as well. He is standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to enter. He exchanges a look with Sehun, with whom he became good friends. He loves seeing Becky and her dad reconnect and she actually calls him a lot, even for tasks Henry himself can fix.

For example helping her with building a cabinet or something else she bought from Ikea. Normally she’d turn to Henry, but now she is quick to ask her dad for help and orders Henry , in case her dad asks, to pretend he is too busy with work to help her out.

The two of them are actively working on their bond and it warms his heart to see Becky hug her dad tightly, have their own little inside jokes and simply have the father-daughter relationship she always wanted.

The music changes and Henry looks up from Sehun, only to see Becky in her wedding dress. To describe her as breathtakingly perfect is not even enough. Her long black locks are slightly curled at the bottom of the strands, the dress hugs her in all the right places and the soft smile toying on her lips is enough to make him feel all sorts of things.

To make sure Genevieve wouldn’t nag his head off, he promised her that he would be slightly emotional when Becky would walk down the aisle, however now that she actually is walking towards him, the tears burn in his eyes. He feels the hot tear rolling over his cheek and he is quick to wipe it away.

She holds out her hand and he is quick to take it, helping her up the tiny stairs. ‘Wow,’ he says, ‘you’re gorgeous.’

‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘You look so handsome.’ She places her hand on his chest and smiles. ‘I love you,’ she mouths towards him.

‘I love you too.’

The two of them (and Genevieve) decided that the speech shouldn’t be too long, mostly because Becky said that she hates long speeches that seemed to never end. Henry barely listens anyway, because he is too enthralled, looking at his soon to be wife.

He sure is lucky.

When it’s time for the vows, Becky folds open her paper. She clears her throat a few times, looking up at him.

Oh, look at that, she’s nervous. Henry nods, a simple gesture to encourage her.

‘Growing up,’ she then says, ‘I missed out on a lot and though the dreams of meeting someone, get married and start a life together were what kept me going at the time, deep down I kinda knew it would never happen to me. No love, no care, no someone who would unconditionally show me what affection exactly entailed. Never in a million years did I think I would meet a guy like you.’

Henry squeezes in her hand as he notices the tears burning in her eyes.

‘You’re everything I ever wished for and even more than that. Henry, I know I tell you this a lot, but… Thank you for barging into my life, for completely changing it, for helping me to become a better version of myself, for believing in me and for always loving me. I don’t think I could say that I would be where I am now if it weren’t for you. I love you.’

He brings her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss on it, before grabbing his own piece of paper. Shit, he shouldn’t cry, but seeing the things he wants to say to her, is making him slightly teary. ‘Sweet Becky,’ he says, ‘believe it or not, but I accepted the fact that I would die a single man, however you changed my life for the better. I think it started with that sweet smile of yours, when I realized I never ever wanted to live another day without you. The fact it took so long before the two of us finally got together, is all my fault and I totally take the blame for that one.’

She chuckles.

‘I love you, Becky and I promise you I will take good care of you, love you forever and ever and try to be the best husband I can be for you, though you deserve so much better.’

They slide on the rings and when he finally hears the words: ‘You may kiss the bride,’ he doesn’t waste a second before pressing a loving kiss on her lips. Their first kiss as husband and wife.

‘I love you,’ he whispers against her lips. ‘I love you so much, Becky.’

‘I love you too, Henry,’ she says. ‘And I’ll forever do that.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve wouldn’t be Genevieve if she wouldn’t speech at the wedding reception. ‘Okay,’ she says, ‘if I can have your attention, please.’

The seventy guests they invited are all quiet and Genevieve gracefully thanks them.

‘I have known Becky for quite a few years now and let’s just say that she was hitting rock bottom at a very tender age.’

‘Gen,’ Becky says, frowning and pouting a little.

‘I promise you, it’ll be a lovely speech.’ Genevieve clears her throat and says: ‘She was always happy, but there was always this certain… How do I say this? Emptiness to it. Like her life didn’t have the right seasoning. But then this lady met Henry and lemme tell you: I was very jealous at first. Greg, honey, no offense, but damn, I was this close of leaving you.’

‘You and me both, baby,’ Greg chuckles.

‘The thing between these two, was that there was this spark, something they had yet to discover themselves. I mean, the two of them spend Christmas and the universe what other festive days together and didn’t confess their undying love for one another. How oblivious do you want it?’

Becky places her hand on Henry’s and with his thumb of his other hand, he caresses her wedding ring.

‘So, when these two finally admitted their love for each other, they are just disgusting as you can imagine. I hate it, but love it at the same time. You know, our sweet Becky deserves the world and Henry is the only one that comes even remotely close to what she deserves.’

‘Aw, that’s so sweet,’ Becky says.

‘Mister Sehun, kind sir, please cover your ears, because I’m gonna say something about your daughter you might not like.’

‘Gen, I swear to—’ Becky starts, while Sehun covers his ears and that’s when Genevieve says: ‘These two fuck like bunnies and honestly no one can tip to their sex life. I can know, I caught them once, but that’s all I’m gonna say about the matter.’

Becky looks over to Henry, who can’t hide his smirk, because it’s kinda funny. He presses a kiss on her temple and Genevieve gestures to Sehun to uncover his ears, as the rest of the crowd starts to laugh.

‘In conclusion, these two are everything every couple wants to be, but never will be. I’m so forever grateful that Becky found herself a good man and Henry should know that this woman is a once in a life opportunity. No matter how intense and intimidating he looks, I’ll make sure Greg will try and kick your delicious looking ass.’

Becky shakes her head, as she starts to laugh. ‘I appreciate it, Gen. Thank you.’

The afternoon turns into the night and after multiple dances, the married couple stands near the side, admiring the guests dance around. After it turned out that Sehun was a wonderful dancer, Gen and Viola pried him away from Becky to dance with him as well.

Henry wraps his arms around Becky’s waist, pressing a kiss on her temple as he gently sways her on the rhythm of the music. ‘Daddy can’t wait for all those people to go,’ Henry whispers in her ear.

‘And why is that?’ she asks, placing her hands on his.

‘Because I need to show you how much I love you, especially since you’re my wife now.’

‘Your wife,’ she says in a content tone. ‘Sounds amazing, you know?’

‘I can easily get used to it,’ he says. ‘Mrs. Cavill.’

✤ ✤ ✤

The door of their hotel suite has only shut for a second, when Henry says: ‘As gorgeous as you look in your wedding dress, I need you to take it off.’

Becky bats her eyes, as if she doesn’t understand why. ‘Why?’

‘Because you are my wife now and I need you.’ He takes off his tie and throws it to the corner of the room. ‘Fuck, baby, I need you so bad.’

‘Then you need to help me out of this thing, because I can’t reach the back.’

‘My pleasure.’ He unzips the dress and he presses a kiss on her bare shoulder. ‘I love you, baby girl.’

‘I love you too,’ she whispers. ‘I really do.’

Oh, does he love that tone. He turns her around as the dress slides down her body. ‘You’re not wearing a bra, baby girl?’

‘It has cups in it,’ she explains, as Henry explores her body with his hands. ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Becky chuckles. ‘Honey, you’ve seen me naked before.’

‘I indeed do,’ he says, ‘but I haven’t seen you naked as my wife yet.’

‘Is it different?’

He nods. ‘In such a good way. I’m so in love with you and your beautiful body. Fuck,’ he mumbles, wrapping his fingers around the waistband of her underwear and pulls it down. ‘We’re married now, baby girl.’

‘I know,’ she chuckles. ‘Daddy, please make love to me.’

‘Make love?’ he asks with a chuckle. ‘I don’t know about that.’

She bites her bottom lip, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. ‘Well, let’s get you out of that suit first, okay?’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry cannot help but completely worship Becky’s body, even as she shivers next to him on the bed. His chest is covered in her juices, as she squirted all over him as she was riding him. As she is on her stomach, her legs a little shaky and a thin layer of sweat on her back, he opens the bedside table. ‘I brought something, sweetheart.’

‘What is it?’ he hears her ask, while he pulls her up by her hips. She rests on her knees and knows exactly how to arch her back.

Shit, and this woman is his wife now.

‘It’s your favorite,’ he whispers, spreading her ass cheeks apart, brushing the cold tip over her puckered hole. She moans out loud as he slowly pushes it in. ‘Fuck, you take it so well.’ He smacks her bottom and not wasting anymore time, he thrusts his painfully hard member deep inside of her. Her hands clench into fists, as she holds on tightly on the sheets.

‘Daddy, you feel so good,’ he hears her whine. The room is filled with her moans, the nearly obscene sounds of her wet pussy and the slapping of skin against skin.

‘You feel good too, baby girl. Fuck, you’re my wife now.’ He holds tightly onto her waist, before he pulls out and turns her over. He pushes some of her hair out of her face. ‘Mrs. Cavill,’ he says, placing his hand on her cheek.

She chuckles. ‘That’s me.’

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He spreads her legs and pushes himself back into her sensitive hole. Her velvet walls wrap around his hard member and he gives her a kiss.

The night seems endless, but definitely not in a bad way. He watches her fall apart over and over again and she takes shaky breaths, hoping to regulate a bit, as she shudders underneath him.

‘How many times have you cum, baby?’ he asks, stilling his movements, to press a kiss on her cheek. ‘Tell daddy.’

‘F- Fo- Four times.’

‘Want to make that five times,’ he starts, ‘before I fill you up?’

She lets out a dragged moan, pushing her nails in his arms. ‘Please, daddy,’ she begs.

Becky is on the verge of crying as he slowly builds up the speeds of his thrusts. He watches tears running over her cheeks, but he recognizes it. He knows she’s not in discomfort, merely being so sensitive and overstimulated. As long as she doesn’t safe word or he deems it necessary to stop, he will continue.

‘You’re doing so good for me, baby girl,’ he whispers, kissing the tears away. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too,’ she whimpers. ‘You’re amazing.’ He pounds deep inside of her and her moans are becoming louder and more desperate. ‘I can’t anymore, daddy.’

‘Tell me the word and I’ll stop.’

She doesn’t. ‘I’m tired.’

‘That’s not the word.’

Becky wraps her arms around him and gives him a kiss. ‘Are you close, daddy?’

‘I am,’ he whispers. ‘Where do you want it? Still inside, darling?’

She nods, while her walls clench around him and that’s when he spills his seed. He buries his face in her neck, his lips salty as he kisses her sweaty skin, whilst riding out his high. He has stilled his movements and asks if she’s okay.

‘Just catching my breath,’ Becky chuckles, clinging against him.

‘Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth, sweetheart.’ She laughs and he gives her a kiss. ‘You did well. Daddy’s proud of you.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve: I think you two forgot I have the room below you in the hotel

Genevieve: Goodness me, how long were you at it?

Viola: Two hours and forty seven minutes

Viola: Yes, I timed, because I had a room above you and even I could hear it

Genevieve: Since we were in on the fun, you should at least give us the details

Becky: No

Genevieve: You’re no fun

Viola: I think this was just a preview of what they are gonna do on their honeymoon

Genevieve: Oh right, the honeymoon on the sex island

Becky: You guys…

Viola: The NAKED honeymoon on the sex island

✤ ✤ ✤

Becky’s wedding dress

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #sugar daddy!henry cavill #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x becky kim #asian ofc #becky kim #sugar sugar #sugar sugar the wedding

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bestiesenpai · 4 years

Text

Angry sex w/ Sukuna

I’ve chosen headcanons! This is gender neutral spiciness my guys, so have fun

Angry sex with Sukuna probably happens at least three times a month lets be honest

That sadistic fuck just lives to take his emotions that way instead of talking about it

Like any fucking Aries would(Sukuna is an Aries on crack cocaine no one but the author can convince me he’s not an Aries)

Anyway, it doesn’t necessarily matter what it is that got the two of you angry, it could be something ‘simple’ like you not sending him nudes in the middle of the work day or something that actually matters like maybe he called you a fucking bitch! What I’m trying to say is the options are endless, pick one, any one

You’ll know Sukuna is angry because he’ll just be loud as fuck and yell for no reason until you crack and yell back at him

And then it’s fair game!

He’ll grab you by your throat and tell you to shut up, and then he’ll kiss you!

Very demanding, if you don’t let his tongue into your mouth then he will choke you until you gasp for air

Doesn’t really matter where you are either, he’s fucking. Could be the couch, the kitchen counter, dining table, in the hallway, in the shower, in the bedroom - once again, many options but for right now, let’s choose the bedroom

He’ll manhandle you onto the bed, pinning your arms either to the bed or above your head

Forget trying to breathe baby, it’s just you and Sukuna making out

He can and will rip whatever shirt you have on off your body, and if he’s feisty enough he might rip your pants off too!

Sukuna is sadistic, we know this, but during angry sex it just increases

As soon as enough skin is exposed he’s leaving mark upon mark on your neck, and I’m not talking a hickey or two baby! Teeth marks, bites and scratches on your body, you’ll feel them more than see them lol

Flips ya over and makes you present your ass to him and he’ll act like he’s not going to spank you but that’s exactly what he’s going to do, it’s not a secret

Don’t bother counting how many he gives you, even if he says you have to, because you’re bound to lose track and he’ll make you start again. Will stop at around 20, only when he sees you fighting back tears

Now, Sukuna isn’t a total monster, once he’s done with that he’ll soothe your ass with his hands and say how next time you shouldn’t make him mad and he won’t have to teach his little baby a lesson like that

But let's be real you’re going to do it again, this little game you two play is far too fun to stop

SLAP HIM! I think Sukuna would be into getting slapped in the face, so slap him when he tries to kiss you and it’ll rile him up even more than he already is

Slap him when he’s sucking too hard on your nipples

Slap him when he gives you head that’s a tad bit too aggressive

Slap him when he’s trying to stick his dick in

Just slap him, someone, anyone slap him. I’ll do it myself if I have to.

Sukuna is a hard dom in general, so when he’s angry he’s going to want to be in more control than usual

Sure, he’ll let you cuss him out and slap him around, but you both know he’s the one still calling the shots

Is very impatient and wants to bottom out inside you NOW but force him to prep you - he’ll fake complain about it but he likes it all the same

When he’s giving you head, grab his hair and push him hard into you, smother him with your sex, I’m telling ya he’ll love it

A feisty bitch is a fun bitch, am I right lads?

So as much as he knocks you around, do the same to him. It’s about a give and take relationship, you see.

When he finally gets his dick wet, it’s hard and fast and immediately you’re in a mating press

He doesn’t care if he’s going too fast and you’re literally crying because it feels too good

It doesn’t matter that you’re so tight his dick keeps popping out

Who cares about your tears, or the fact that there’s a large wet spot on the bed because you’ve cum one too many times and the overstimulation is going to make you go insane?

If Sukuna hasn’t cum yet then who the fuck cares

And honestly even when he does cum he’ll just keep going until you either say the safe word or both of you pass the fuck out

FORGET IT if you have a sex toy like a vibrator or something he’s keeping that on you the whole time until it becomes physically too much for you

And aftercare? Next fucking caller babe you’re lucky if you’re not fucked stupid, drunk off cum and passed the fuck out by the end of it

In the morning though, he’ll be just a bit softer with you, and he might just make you burnt ass breakfast in bed because I do not believe this man can cook anything past simply boiling water and even then he fucks it up

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna smut #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

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gojology · 4 years

Text

Job Benefits (Part Three)

broken routines - chapter three.

you can find part two here :

part two : undesirable pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader warnings : cursing wordcount : 1442 a/n : im highly disappointed with this but im very hyped abt writing part 4 and uh i need to change my writing style sooner or later wtf is this mess LOL

If there’s one thing Gojo knows more then his own body, it’s routines. It’s what he grew up around, coming from such a bustling family. Since he learned how to walk, he had attended many interviews, gone to parties, all in one day. Of course, it was commonplace in his already hectic life. He saw routine in everything. Imagine his shock when you came into the office in an outfit that differed so greatly from your regular one that his jaw might unhinge and fall off. He can’t wrap his head around why, but he’s utterly confused as to why you changed this up. Was it permanent, and why the change? He had many questions going through his head. This is one of the many negative traits Gojo Satoru has; he thinks his input is important, even though the majority of time it is... Maybe it was somewhat justified. But he doesn’t realize how unnecessary it comes out to be when no one asked. No one had ever told him no, of course they hadn’t, he was ranked nationally as an important kid due to his wit and charismatic personality, essential for entering the business industry. When he opened his mouth to speak, even at 8 years old at his parent’s conferences, the old professionals would all look at him, keenly waiting for his orders, or perhaps his opinion. This was what he grew up having; so naturally he didn’t know any boundaries, nor did he know when to close his mouth. But that’s besides the point, he thoroughly enjoyed the look on you. He takes his normal trip down the hallway into your office, humming a tune, a messy stack of papers in one hand, a custom ceramic mug in the other; made personally just for him. He expects to see you in your regular outfit, a pencil skirt, white t-shirt, the short clicky heels, and the black blazer. It certainly made for an excellent example of casual, formal attire. Unexpectedly, you’re not. You’re calling someone, phone perched delicately on your shoulder almost as if it’s supposed to slip out, your hair framing your face. Lips parting as you start responding to whatever is on the opposite side, and he notices an evident gloss, your lips are a different color too. You glance up at him and gesture to your phone, and his hands are shoved deep into his pockets, taking this extra time to examine you up and down. White turtleneck, layered alongside a slightly unbuttoned dress shirt with a crisp warm toned brown trench coat. Not too long, not too short. Simple gold jewelry adorned your neck, and his eyes caught onto the gold bracelet that jingled on your arm as you swayed it around; he kinda found it cute how even when the person you were talking to wasn’t in front of you, you were still so animated. Gojo can’t see your pants nor your shoes, but he’s about to enter cardiac arrest because truthfully he didn’t expect that you knew how to dress. “What?” you say, words dripping with venom and menace, putting the phone back down. He’s taken aback, what’s with the tone? “What do you mean, what, (Y/N)?” giving you a shit eating grin, he takes a step closer to your table. “Answer my question, I asked first.” you shot back, now crossing your legs, you hope you look bored just to add more insult to injury. The guy deserved it for thinking the world revolved around him. He doesn’t answer, instead staring at you, setting his cup of coffee onto the already crowded tabletop, slightly hunched over. You feel your heart drop. Fuck, maybe seeking some sort of symbolic revenge against your boss wasn’t the best of ideas. Actually, none of your ideas were the best last night. Naturally you’d only think up disasters when you were under distress. “What’s with the new outfit? Buy a new fashion sense on Amazon?” he finally inquires, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice, brushing your... Rude words aside. You shrug, pulling out your planner from the drawer and mumbling, biting your pen before writing inside, they’re mindless words. You hope your acting is good, because you want to cry again even at the slight sound of those words. “I don’t know, I felt like I would try something different.” Fuck, were was the sass? Why did you answer nervously? Why did you feel so scared? There was obviously something that you wanted to do rather then chit chat with him, and Gojo’s now unoccupied hand rubs his neck, this was suddenly so awkward, even for someone as lively as him. “Hm. Right. Anyways, these were in the printer.” he slaps the freshly printed lukewarm pages onto your desk. “Figured these were yours, still had your name on them.” “Ah. Thanks.” you say before yawning, covering your mouth before sliding the papers back into the drawer behind you- as if you had no care for them. Actually, you didn’t. This was apart of your master plan that you had crafted at 1 AM last night, too exhilarated to rest. You would print papers out in Gojo’s printer, which you had used once in a while prior so it wouldn’t be too suspicious, and since Gojo never left the dang office he’d hear the sounds and return them to you. Both of you were silent again, and he’s debating between hitting you up with a topic of conversation, perhaps a joke, but you seem so uninterested he’s not sure if it’s the right moment. “Just to let you know- your lunch break is in 10 minutes.” he adds, whistling to try to appear careless, but he could feel his heart sinking. You were acting unusually cold, no dramatic tantrums from you that he usually loved. In fact, that was the whole reason why he liked coming to your office. That, and the cute stationary. “Ah! Really?” you make sure to act like you just got a ticket to heaven, just as a petty way of saying, “Hey. You’re boring. I want to get out.” and Gojo’s pretty sure that all the contents of his heart was shattered now. Hmph. Whatever, if you continued this behavior he’d swear he’d fire you, but even he knows that’s not true. He had grown fond about you over the small amount of time that you had worked as his secretary, besides, what was a good work life if you didn’t have a good relationship with your very own secretary? He’s sure his banter doesn’t affect you. “Yeah.” he says, now quiet. He turns his back on you, pausing for a quick moment before walking out, not before he bangs the top of his forehead against the door frame, which earned a slight groan out of him, and just like that he left. You still hear the faint clicking against the tile floor from his shoes. You exhaled a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, twirling your office chair to look at the large window pane behind your desk. This was something you admired about the architecture of the building you worked out. Every single office had a large window facing Tokyo, so late working hours would always involve beautiful city lights and the bustling of night life. The sun and sky was bright and cheery, and it comforted your frazzled body. Today wasn’t as bad as yesterday, but it still felt strange from not having your daily ridiculous conversation with Gojo- and strangely you missed it. Instilled with energy and motivation, you stand up, pulling your bento out of your bag, determined to go through with the rest of your plan. You knew Gojo had a good friend that worked here, Keto Sugareu or something like that. You’d have lunch with him, work your feminine charms, and that was that. It wasn’t like you wanted to, but a part of you so desperately wanted to prove to Gojo that you could be smart, witty, yet sexy at the same time. You weren’t a prude- just someone not as exposed to these lifestyles. But you didn’t really eat your lunch in the break room, rather, you were almost always in your very own office. If you weren’t found in there, it’d either be the bathroom or conspiring to steal Gojo’s luxury coffee machine at your house. Infact, you’re not even quite sure if you remember how it looks like. “Whatever.” you mumble to yourself, before scooping up your utensils and napkins and heading out for the break room. You shouldn’t have ever stepped foot into that cursed hellish room that day.

nice to see u down here, u want chapt 4? too bad. just kidding! here, have at it. chapter four : conspiring

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

snapshots: fostering II

A/N: Good morning beautiful people! I posted in a previous post regarding why I haven’t update, but basically, I got COVID and it was just not a fun time.

I am back with an update! This one took some time since I could hardly concentrate while i was out. But I finally have an update. These are the following updates I plan on posting in no specific order.

EZ request

Lake Part Two

Sex Guru Angel

Everything is you: part 12

Another EZ update

Rio request

Two Daddy Angel request: Snuggling and Trip to the aquarium

That’s my plan before going back to school at the end of the month. Given, I may sneak in a few things in between those things I have mentioned above.

Prior to me getting sick, I turned off anon, but I have turned it on again. Hopefully New Year, no hate? Regardless, my inbox is open!

Enjoy the update! Love you all!

Shoutout: To my better half, @angelreyesgirl, thank you for helping me map out the rest of the fostering chapters. And thank you for just being fucking you. I LOVE YOU, even though you put me through emotional turmoil with our shows, especially last night. lol

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

Snapshots

Word count: 4786

Warnings: Fluff, Infertility, a smidge of angst

CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL GIF MAKER

“You did tell Angel right?” Gilly helped you bring in the crib his cousin had graciously let you borrow into your home.

You looked at Gilly as you held the six month old in your arms, who was comfortably sleeping. You and Angel had discussed the possibility of fostering, but there was no final decision that was made. The agency called you and it was an emergency after the baby was brought to an emergency room last night by his mother and was taken away since the mother had tested positive for amphetamines. Since it was an emergent situation, the social worker begged you to take the kid for a few days while they got him situated. You figured it would be a good start for you and Angel was out of town due to an extended run up north.

“It’s just for a few days.”

Gilly groaned, placing the crib in your room. “That literally did not answer my question, yet it fucking answered my question.” He shook his head. “You have to tell Angel. There’s no guarantee the kid is going to be gone by the time he comes back and what if they head back early?”

“Eva said three days tops. And Angel literally told me they won’t be back till the weekend. The baby will be situated with a foster family by then.”

And somehow, Gilly didn’t believe that.

Gilly helped you set up the crib and buy a few things for the baby such as snacks, formula, diapers, and wipes. He watched as you settled on the couch with the baby boy.

“What was the name of the kid again?” Gilly questioned as he settled on the arm chair.

“Believe it or not, it’s Angelo.” You chuckled. Looking down at the baby in your arms, your heart swelled. It further cemented that you wanted to try this whole fostering thing, to see foster children while they wait for their forever homes. Though, you know it would be difficult, it was a first step. You knew that you and Angel weren’t exactly ready to adopt yet, so you opted to be an emergency foster parent when the need arose. You just didn’t expect it to happen as quickly as it did.

“Oh man, you’re not going to be able to part from this one.” Gilly saw the way your eyes marveled at the baby in your arms. The way you were holding the child, smiling at every little movement. The baby looked incredibly comfortable in your arms, smiling whenever you smiled at him. Angelo would laugh this hearty laugh when you would make faces at him.

Ares entered the living room, taking his usual spot beside you. He eyed the baby curiously and looked up at Gilly, before looking back down at the baby.

“Wow, now it’s going to be Angel and Ares fighting the baby for your attention.”

“No it won’t because the baby isn’t staying long.”

“Come on Y/N, you honestly believe you’re going to be able to give Angelo back knowing his mother is a drug addict.” Gilly could just see the wheels turn in your head, your heart clenching at the idea of having to give back Angelo to such an unstable home.

“Look, stop, I can give Angelo back, regardless of his mother’s choices, I heard that she tried her best to care for Angelo.” You were thankful that Angelo didn’t appear to be harmed by whatever his mother chose to do in her life.

“She’s been getting by with luck. But you should tell Angel so he doesn’t freak out when he comes home and you have a baby.”

“Guessing keeping this a secret is out of the question?” You gave him a sheepish smile.

“Oh no, absolutely not. This is too big for you to keep to yourself.”

But you did keep it to yourself.

And much like Gilly predicted, baby Angelo was still with you Saturday morning and Angel walked in your shared home on Saturday afternoon, doing a double take when he saw Angelo laying his head on the half circle nursing pillow with Ares laying down against the pillow, providing some sort of support as you made faces at him, blowing raspberries on his tummy.

“What the fuck is this?” Angel knew of your intent to do fostering. You completed the classes two weeks ago, but he didn’t think it would be this quick. And he definitely didn’t expect to walk in and have a baby in his living room. And he definitely didn’t expect the dread at the pit of his stomach, feeling defeated when it came to his hope of you two conceiving your own child. He didn’t have a problem with adoption, if that’s what the cards had for you two, he didn’t mind. But being faced with the decision that you seemingly made on your own, it slightly irritated him. He felt like you were giving up without even trying.

“Babe!” You stood up, smiling at your boyfriend. Ares lifted his head before jumping down the couch. He walked over to Angel and nuzzled his cheek against Angel’s leg.

“Oh no, even the fucking dog is trying to sweet talk me. You’re both in fucking trouble. Baby, what the fuck?” Angel’s eyes couldn’t part from the baby on the couch.

“I know, I know, this looks bad, but it was an emergency.”

“An emergency? Like last night? Cause I know you would have told me if you emergently had to foster a baby.” Angel walked closer as if the baby wasn’t real, that if he moved closer, it would all be an illusion. Because he knew for a fact that you would tell him something as enormous as this.

You sighed. “Try three days.”

“Three days?!” Angel gave you an incredulous look, his higher octave of tone scaring Angelo. The baby began to cry, causing you to frown. You picked up Angelo, trying your best to comfort the baby. “Y/N, this is, this is unacceptable. How can you not have told me you were fostering a baby?”

“He was supposed to be gone before you came back.” It was a terrible reason, you could attest to that, but it was all you had.

“I don’t give a fuck, this is our home. You’re bringing in a baby into our home. I have the right to know these things. This isn’t a fucking puppy or a toy. You can’t just bring the baby in and bring it back out as if it’s nothing.” Angel didn’t think you thought of this as a game, but he knew how simple you thought things through at time. For you, just like your computer software, you make the software, test it out and hand it over to the company that requested the said software. You came to help the company from time to time, otherwise, it was no longer your headache. And that was how Angel saw your thought process was when it came to fostering. He loves you, but this was the reason he was apprehensive about the idea of fostering. Not only would you have a difficult time parting with the child when the time came, but the way you handled it wasn’t ideal. This wasn’t a toy baby for one of those subjects in high school and it wasn’t a dog that could charm their way to people’s hearts.

This was another human life.

And the way you handled the whole thing, it showed Angel that fostering was definitely not right, at least not right now.

“I know he isn’t a toy or a puppy. Don’t insult my intelligence.”

“Then don’t insult mine. We’re a fucking team. Regardless if the baby was going to be here for an hour or a year, you should tell me. This is why we shouldn’t foster a child, you can’t even communicate to me that we’re fostering one.” Angel shook his head. “You’re not even going to try for a baby?”

His words pierced through your heart and you could tell Angel immediately regretted his words.

“I’m sorry, did you say, not try for a baby?” You scoffed. “That’s rich. You’re all talk about being okay with not having your own biological child, but now, fostering a child is staring us right in the face and the only thing you can do is give me flack for bringing a child in our home.”

“I am okay with not having my own biological child, but I would at least like for us to try and explore every possible fucking option. It’s like you got one opinion and shut down. Why can’t we get a second opinion?” Angel did not want to be arguing with you. This was not how he saw his day going. He wanted to get home so he could take a nap, take you out on a nice dinner and make love to you till Sunday afternoon. Now, you two were arguing and Angel knew it wasn’t going to be swept under the rug any time soon. “I meant what I said, I want to be with you regardless if you can have a baby or not, but again, one opinion you shut down. You’re an IT specialist, you look for every way to fix a fucking problem with a software, but with your own life, you got one solution and that’s it, you gave up.”

The tears that welled up in your eyes made you look away from Angel as you rocked Angelo in your arms. You didn’t just look at one solution, you got a second opinion in Arizona and the doctor more or less told you the same thing. Rafael gave you the number of his cousin who saw a specialist in LA, but after having two opinions basically stating the same facts, it was hard to hear over and over again that couldn’t have a child.

“You know, you can be a real asshole at times.” You walked away from Angel, Ares following suit as you closed the door, choosing not to slam it since Angelo finally calmed down.

“Fuck!”

=================

You were laying on the bed, Ares at your feet and Angelo sleeping soundly right beside you. You had a long body pillow on his one side and you on the other. The tears have subsided, but you were still quite upset at Angel. You understood why he was upset, you should have told him about the baby, there was no rhyme or reason as to why you didn’t. You sniffled, wiping your nose as you had your hand on Angelo’s little tummy, watching him as he slept. A new batch of tears formed in your eyes as reality set in that you could never truly have this, a child created by you and Angel. A child with Angel’s smile and beautiful brown eyes. A child with a mixture of your personalities.

It upset you that you couldn’t give that to Angel. The fact he assumed that you didn’t look at other options hurt you, but, it’s not like you told him either.

You felt Ares rest his head on your calf, his warmth bringing some comfort to you. Hearing the door open, you closed your eyes, not ready for another showdown with Angel. You heard him sigh as he closed the door. You weren’t certain if he walked back out or was inside the room, but you kept your eyes closed.

The bed dipped under his weight. You felt him rest his hand above yours that was on Angelo’s tummy.

“I wish you knew just how much I love you. Seeing you with a baby is painful because I know you’re hurting more than anyone else about your current predicament. It’s the reason why I don’t want us to foster, at least not yet. Knowing you can’t have a child, I know it’s killing you and I’m just trying to protect you.” You felt Angel softly squeezed your hand. “You’re the love of my life, if I can protect you from the world I would.”

You weren’t sure what you did to deserve Angel’s love, but hearing him say those words, it made your heart swell.

You felt him move, most likely getting in a more comfortable position.

“What are we going to do with you little man?” You heard Angel sigh.

Angel heard the faint cries at first and he was going back to sleep when he realized it was the baby. He cracked an eye open and saw Angelo on his belly, his face scrunched up, small cries coming from his lips. Ares lifted his head and was about to stand up when Angel gestured for him to stay down.

“Hey papa’s, you doing okay?” Angel had his fair share of babysitting jobs when he was younger so he knew how to care for a baby, but this was different. This baby was technically under your care and it wasn’t someone he could give back at the end of the day. It was one of the things he feared too. You two didn’t know what kind of baby or kid you would end up with. What if they ended up becoming serial killers?

Angel knew it was ridiculous, but he thought of your safety, that was his main priority.

Angel picked up Angelo, holding the baby in his arms. He stood up, hoping he could rock Angelo back to sleep, but the cries came before he could do anything. Moving towards the kitchen, he hoped you prepared bottles for the baby since he didn’t exactly know how much formula to use or the ratio with water and such. Thankfully there was a bottle. He warmed up the bottle and checked the temperature. Once it was good, he placed the nipple at Angelo’s mouth which he gladly sucked on. Angel chuckled, making his way over to the couch to sit down. Ares joined him, resting his head on Angelo’s legs.

“At least you adjusted well to him.” Angel sighed, watching as Angelo greedily drank the milk. “Man, you’re hungry.” Ares adjusted himself and watched Angelo drinking his milk. “Don’t get used to him, we can’t keep him.” Ares looked over at Angel and for once, Angel saw this demon dog of yours give him the puppy dog eyes. “That only works on your mom, not on me, nope.” He looked down at Angelo and he assisted him by holding the bottle for him. “Wonder why she had to take you in so suddenly.”

When Angelo finished his bottle, Angel burped him, moving to sit back down. Angelo reached for the necklace around Angel’s neck that rested on his chest. Angel watched as the infant became enamored with the necklace, playing with it, slightly tugging on it. He laughed, the sound slightly startling Angelo before a smile broke out on his own face. Angel couldn’t believe he was thinking it, but all he wanted was to keep that smile on this precious baby boy.

“Oh no,” Angel groaned.

Ares sat up, pawing at Angelo and Angel petted him under his neck, and just shook his head.

“I think he’s cute too, but we can’t keep him.” Ares scoffed and turned away from Angel, laying down. “You can throw a tantrum all you want, but we’re not keeping the baby.” Angel shook his head. “I have no idea what she got in her head, but we can’t keep you little man.”

Angelo snuggled his face against Angel’s shirt, the gesture making Angel’s heart melt further. As much as he wanted to keep Angelo, he didn’t know how good of an idea that was. You two were still working on your relationship and he still wanted to try to get a second opinion for what was going on. He had faith that miracles could occur, but as he said, he didn’t mind if you two ended up adopting. But he wanted to at least try, to at least put the effort of having a child. He saved up money and he was certain your medical insurance would help with it.

=================

Before you knew it, sleep overtook you and when you awoke it was due to Angel waking you up.

“Baby,” Angel shook you awake, your eyes blinking adjusting to the light. “We need to get more diapers. What size are his diapers?”

You yawned and pointed at your closet. “He has more in there.”

Angel nodded his head and went inside the closet, taking a diaper before laying Angelo right next to you. Sitting up, you looked down at him and looked over at Angel.

“I didn’t hear him cry.” You commented.

“Yeah, I know, he started getting fussy so I picked him up.” Angel cooed at Angelo as he picked him up. “What’s his name?”

“Angelo.”

“No shit,” Angel smiled.

“Right?” You returned his smile. Watching Angel hold Angelo, it made you tear up all over again. You wanted this so badly for Angel, for Angel to have his own child and seeing this, it made you happy yet, it saddened you. Maybe you should call the doctor in LA just to see if the third time’s the charm.

He looked up at you and sighed. “I hate fighting with you.”

“Me too.” You frowned. “I’m sorry for not communicating it to you that Angelo was here. I don’t even know what I was thinking.”

“Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. You can’t just drop a baby on us. We have to discuss this, we’ve always been a team, that hasn’t changed.” Angel reminded you.

“I know,” you crawled over to him and Angel held you with his free arm, pulling you against him. “I think the excitement of having him, it just threw me off and I guess I was being a little selfish. And maybe some part of me wanted to surprise you.”

“Consider me surprised querida.” Angel kissed you. Pulling away, he looked down at Angelo, who was just looking at you two then back at you. “Fuck, I’m going to get used to this and it’s going to suck when he leaves. What’s his story?”

You proceeded to tell Angel the story of how you gained emergency custody of Angelo. You saw how Angel’s eyes softened and the anger that also appeared.

“That’s messed up. How can,” Angel paused and shook his head. “We can’t give him back to her.” Angel’s overprotectiveness has come out and you knew that letting go of Angelo was going to be difficult on you both.

“Angel, babe, I agree, but she still has custody.” You had temporary custody of Angelo, once things settled with his mother, they would most likely give him back to her. You truly hoped the report was right and that his mother just recently relapsed and was working on getting better, but addiction was hard to kick.

“She’s an unfit mother.” Angel spat out. He shouldn’t be preaching, he killed people and was part of a heroin trade, but he would never endanger a child.

“Babe, we don’t know that.”

“Don’t know that?” Angel scoffed. “She continued to do drugs with her child in the same home as her, that’s unforgivable.”

You loved how passionate Angel felt about Angelo. He’s only known him for a few hours and he loved the little guy already. It made you smile and you hugged Angel once again, which surprised him. He sighed and kissed the top of your head, his attention back on Angelo.

“I was so worried that you couldn’t give him back, but I think it’s going to be me.” Angel chuckled. “How come you still have him?”

“Thanksgiving is next week, guess people aren’t in a rush to handle the case.” You shrugged. “We have to talk about the possibility of keeping Angelo. It’s a long shot, I doubt his mother would give up custody, but maybe we should discuss it in case it is presented to us.”

“I’m in.”

Angel’s reply surprised you. It’s not that you didn’t think Angel was going to be on board, but you two just argued earlier about having biological children and now, he was on board with keeping Angelo.

“What?” You pulled away from him, choosing to sit on the bed. Ares laid beside you, laying his head on your thigh. “We literally just argued about having biological children, and now you want to keep him?”

“I never said I didn’t want to adopt a child with you. I’m on board with whatever you want mami, you know this. But I just want you to at least consider getting a second opinion.” Angel began to rock Angelo back and forth, the baby falling asleep in his arms rather easily. Placing Angelo in his crib, Angel leaned on the wall beside his crib. “I want everything with you. I meant what I said when I told you I was okay with not having children of our own, but I want you to at least explore every fucking option.”

“You don’t think I did that?”

“I don’t know baby, did you?”

“I got a second opinion in Arizona and the doctor basically told me the same thing. I wanted to come back to you Angel, but if I came back, I wanted us to have an option to have a child together.” You confessed. “When you came for me, I knew it was a matter of time before you broke down through my walls and I was back in your arms. But before I came back, I wanted for us to know our options. So I got the second opinion and it still wasn’t great news.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know, I was already disappointed that we can’t have kids and the way you reacted the first time frightened me. I figured you didn’t want to hear another disappointing fact about me.” You were mostly disappointed in yourself. You knew it wasn’t something you could control, but knowing you couldn’t have a family in the traditional sense, it hurt.

Angel moved to kneel in front of you, taking your hands that were on your lap. “From now on, we talk about everything, regardless of disappointment or whatever. I love you. Let me be your support system. I know you’re used to counting on yourself, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s been us against the world since we were thirteen fucking years old and that hasn’t changed. Regardless of what’s occurred the last six months, that hasn’t changed. You’re my girl and I’m yours.”

You nodded your head, wiping your tears away. “There’s a third option Rafael told me about. It’s in LA.”

“Okay, make an appointment, we’ll go.” Angel rested his arms on your lap, his hands holding your hips.

“Angel, maybe we should wait till after the holidays, I don’t know if I really want such sad news during the holidays.”

“Nope, let’s do it, regardless of the results, I’m here for you. We’ll face it together. Make the appointment for next week and we’ll handle this.” Angel cupped your face, bringing your lips to his.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed. Maybe we should just give it time.”

“Nope, this is your defense mechanism, putting shit off. Fuck no baby, let’s meet with the doctor and we’ll go from there.”

“What if it’s the same results? That’s what’s killing me Angel.”

“Then we’ll think of other ways.” He pursed his lips. “I know it’s hard, but don’t you want to explore every option so we can at least look back on this twenty years from now and know we did everything we could to have children?”

Angel got you there. You wanted to live life with no regrets and he was right. When you looked back on this moment years from now, you want to know you tried every option.

“I understand the fear of disappointment, but there is no disappointment if we know we tried every viable option that we had.”

“When did you get so wise?”

Angel chuckled. “Coco is rubbing off on me.” He kissed you again, wrapping his arms around you.

“I’ll make the appointment.”

“Good, just let me know when and we can make a day out of it. I can visit my tio and tia while we’re there.”

You smiled, nodding your head at his suggestion. You picked up your phone and noticed a missed call from Eva. Before you could even call her back, the doorbell rang. Angel made his way to the front door to answer the door. You followed after him and found Eva with her usual purse and folders in arms.

“Hey Eva!” You greeted. “I was just about to return your call, we had a nap.”

Eva chuckled. “You’re fine, I figured you were napping or occupied with a seven month old child.”

“This is my boyfriend, Angel.” You introduced the two finally since you usually just mentioned them to one another.

“Very nice to finally meet you Angel.” Eva shook Angel’s outstretched hand.

“Likewise.”

Eva was in her mid-forties, her hair style reminded you of a 50’s housewife. It fit her face well and she was honestly one of the kindest people you knew.

“It’s five in the afternoon on a Saturday, you’re still working?” Angel commented as you all sat down in the living room.

“Yes well work never stops.” Eva shrugged with a content smile on her face. You knew Eva was a workaholic. Many social workers have gotten a bad reputation these past few years, but Eva always seemed so genuine to you. “But, I want to make this visit quick and hopefully it’ll work out for all of us.”

“Sure, what’s going on?” You were seated beside Angel, your hand in his.

“Angelo’s mother has given up custody of Angelo and I was wondering if you would be interested in fostering him till we can handle all the necessary paperwork.” Eva was hopeful. She saw how you quickly bonded with Angelo and the last few times she’s seen that occur, the child ended up being adopted by their foster parents. And if she was being honest, she was hoping this would be the case here. “Or if you’re interested, maybe you would like to adopt Angelo.” You were an ideal candidate. Regardless of your marital status, you had a steady, stable job and you also had a home and a good support system.

You looked at Angel who squeezed your hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. “You already know how I feel.”

“We would love to adopt Angelo.” You said quickly, Eva laughing at your enthusiasm and clapped her hands together.

“I knew you would, this is perfect. I’ll handle the paperwork, but I wouldn’t expect anything till after Thanksgiving. Honestly, I do not foresee any trouble with the proceedings, especially since his mother gave up custody of Angelo to the state.” Eva stood up. “I will keep in touch, but have a very happy thanksgiving and I will speak to you both after next week.”

“Yeah, of course.” You were in disbelief how quickly everything was happening, but it made you feel as if it was meant to be, that everything was just simply falling into place. You and Angel said your goodbyes to Eva and as soon as the front door was closed and locked by Angel, you ran over to him.

Angel caught you, your legs and arms wrapping around him. Your lips were on his, one of Angel’s arms rested around you and his hand cupped your face. Pulling away, you rested your forehead against Angel’s.

“Fuck, baby, this is so quick.” You wanted to scream in joy, but Angelo was taking a nap. You felt Ares nudging your back, wanting to join the festivities. Going back on the ground, you hugged Ares, happy that you got to keep Angelo after all.

“It’s just things falling into place baby.” Angel sat on the floor next to you, Ares coming to Angel and giving him kisses.

“We have a baby.” You breathed out. You rested your head on Angel’s shoulders. “Holy shit, we’re parents.”

Angel laughed. “You’re really stuck with me now. Cause if you even try to leave, I’ll take our kid and the dog.”

You laughed along with Angel. The appointment for next week made you nervous, even though you weren’t sure if you would even be able to book an appointment. Regardless, whatever the outcome of next week was, you were happy that you had Angelo.

You and Angel were building your family.

That was the most important thing to you.

=================

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#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #mayans mc fic #mayans mc imagine

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

Note

Hello,

I just found your page and after reading some of your mha posts had a couple things I wanted to ask if that's ok.

1. Since you feel Hawks is not justified because he could have chosen options other than killing Twice, do you think he would have been had he genuinely been made to choose between killing him and saving others? I.e. do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others? If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).

2. This might very well be a stupid question, but if we consider that heroes shouldn't treat others as an it and put them down for the "sake of society", do you feel this ought to extend to AFO too? I really don't mean to use this as a gotcha moment or anything like it, but I feel like if MHA is trying to move away from a punitive justice system in favour of a rehabilitative/restorative one, we ought to consider where people like AFO fall into this system as well. AFO is seemingly entirely unlike any of the other villains in the show, but if we judge that he deserves a different fate for this it also feels like playing into the "Some people just can't be saved" notion that's been perpetuated by hero society. It is of course entirely possible, if not likely, that he'll fall in battle, or that Shigaraki himself will kill him eventually, but I feel like that skirts the issue rather than answer it. As someone who does not seem to show any remorse, desire or even ability to be saved, and in fact feels rather inhuman, what should a reformed society even do with him? Even if we could convincingly argue him to be fundamentally different and thus deserving of punishment, it is much easier for us readers who have more information to make this call, rather than in-universe characters whose judgement will inevitably be based on something less than the full truth. So even if AFO's case in particular was easily answered, it would set a precedent for cases that may appear similar, but in truth be less clear cut. Basically, I believe you feel the villain league deserves another chance because they were victims of their circumstances, and thus not necessarily beyond salvation, because they never knew normality to begin with, but what about those who were not victims, those who by their nature have insurmountable trouble fitting into a peaceful society? Perhaps it's just my mistaken assumption that such people exist and I'm reading AFO wrong, or perhaps it's the opposite and I'm giving people like AFO undue consideration, or perhaps my assumption that AFO ought to be treated as a person rather than a carocature, a symbol, is flawed to begin with, but I just really don't think a manga that wants to argue that villains are people too should go "but here's THIS vile piece of shit, let's kill him!". Am I making sense here?

3. On another note, what do you think of Endeavor's recent speech and general recent development? I've seen some people who were upset by his "Would it fix everything if we showed you our tears" line, but rather than him being dismissive or callous I just see it as him awkwardly saying that he doesn't think anything other than actions can help him atone for what he did. He's still got a lot to work through, but him recognizing that he's got something to atone for and freely talking about what he did to his family is, as I find, certainly a huge step in the right direction.

WHOO hey! Sorry for taking a while to respond. You gave me some really well thought-out questions and I wanted to return the favor with well thought-out answers. Also I was heckin busy yesterday when you sent this. So, here we go:

To answer this question about Hawks, I first need to clarify what it means to be a hero in the eyes of the story that is BNHA:

This honestly doesn’t even make a dent in the amount of panels in BNHA that reiterate time and time again that heroes SAVE people, but I don’t feel like I should have to spend too much time looking for them, these I used above should suffice. The one with baby Midoriya and baby Tenko doesn’t even have any words in the panel, and it’s still powerful enough to get the message across. And make me cry.

Almost every story has its own “heroes” in it. And every story’s definition of a hero is different. In Marvel and DC superhero comics and movies, the heroes usually end up killing the villains, yes? I can’t say I’m familiar with these stories because they aren’t interesting to me in the slightest, but from the ones I HAVE seen, the final boss at the end dies. But all of the heroes get to keep their title of “hero”. That’s not really the standard we have in BNHA.

“Do you think it's just this killing in particular that was not justified and thus murder, or do you think heroes killing can never be justified, even if in self-defense or defense of others?”

So this is a fair point and I feel that the best way to answer this is by asking what you consider self defense? Say Hawks is at home mad chillin and not prepared for a fight in the slightest, and somebody breaks into his house and starts trying to hurt/kill him. He’s unprepared and at this point just trying to keep himself alive. If he ends up killing the guy, is he wrong? In my opinion, no. In real life this happens to people, and they aren’t considered murderers, as they shouldn’t be. To me, self defense is a situation where:

It’s either you or me. It’s one or the other.

I think it’s fair to say what happened with Hawks and Twice was absolutely NOT self defense. I’m not going to go into detail about how deciding to kill Twice was absolutely 100% premeditated, because there’s a wonderful post by someone else that already explains that in great detail here. But I’ll end this thought by saying that Hawks was not committing an act of self defense.

Nothing about this says “self-defense” to me.

“If we take the "Heroes save people" maxim to its limits, it might be reasonable to argue for a deontological approach to ethics rather than a utilitarian one, so that killing one to save others is not justified because you actively break your code (as opposed to risking not being able to save others, which would be considered a lesser moral wrong under this mindset).”

To make it simple for some people to understand these terms:

“Utilitarianism is an ethical theory that determines right from wrong by focusing on OUTCOMES.“ In a nutshell, utilitarian ethics means you make a decision based on how it will affect everything else.

“In moral philosophy, deontological ethics or deontology is the normative ethical theory that the morality of an action should be based on whether that action itself is right or wrong under a series of rules, rather than based on the consequences of the action.” In a nutshell, deontological ethics means you make a decision based on whether it follows rules or not.

So this is a complicated question, and my answer to this is....both? Throughout BNHA we’ve had this dilemma over and over again:

Break the rules and save the day? Or follow the rules and possibly suffer the consequences? Well, BNHA just says “Yes” lol. Do both. Break the rules and save the day. Make a decision based on the consequences of said decision, but also try to follow the rules as best as you can. Even in reality, people do this to get through life. You really can’t live life under a strict utilitarian approach or a strict deontological approach. If Midoriya hadn’t persisted against his classmates and the law to go save Bakugo, he WOULD have gotten kidnapped AGAIN. They were actively trying to take him with them. If Midoriya didn’t break the rules to save Kota, Kota would have straight up DIED. Muscular was actively trying to kill Kota, not to mention Kota had zero ways of defending himself. But here’s where I don’t think this is a fair comparison:

Hawks claims his killing of Twice was to save others. I don’t completely disagree with this logic, if the situation was more dire and dangerous for Hawks. The league was taking peoples’ lives. Somebody had to do something. The problem is that Twice was RUNNING AWAY when Hawks killed him. Twice wasn’t fighting Hawks back, he wasn’t endangering Hawks himself. Hawks stabbed him in the back. AND Hawks had Dabi to worry about, who was actively trying to attack Hawks. But Hawks chose to murder Twice instead of fending off Dabi. And if you refer back to the post I linked above about how it was a premeditated decision to kill Twice, you’ll see that Hawks had the capability of knocking Twice unconscious. He should have done this from the get go. And honestly? There are other heroes who could have captured Twice. There SHOULD have been other heroes to capture Twice. If Hawks was the only hope for the heroes in that war then jeez, the heroes suck at their jobs.

So TLDR for this question: Hawks’s circumstances were not drastic enough for him to be justified in killing Twice. As I said above, self-defense is one thing, where yes I could understand how if a life is lost while defending oneself is probably inevitable in some cases. But this wasn’t self defense. Twice was running away. Hawks should also be able to rely on his hero comrades to help him out.

Instead Hawks chose to be law-enforcement, judge, and executioner all in one moment.

I hope this answers your question? I tried my best. If I misunderstood or missed a talking point, feel free to shoot me a message or another ask.

Next question:

Believe me. I have thought about this! What about AFO? He’s human too isn’t he? You have a point. Should the restorative justice system extend to AFO? I would say yes. If I’m going to stick to my guns that the villains deserve restorative justice and not punitive justice, I should be fair and say it should extend to all villains.

The problem is not in the idea of exploring saving AFO, it’s just that there simply isn’t enough time to explore this in the story. If Horikoshi had said “I’m not going anywhere guys! We’re in this for the long haul!” I’d say it’s possible to explore that route. We don’t know anything about AFO except from what we’ve seen on screen, and what we’ve been told by All Might and the other OFA holders. Which still isn’t much to go on. You’re not giving AFO undue consideration. It’s definitely a deserved consideration. There are people in the story (and the real world) who may not be victimized in any way and end up being villains. Do they deserve a chance? I’d say yes. It’s in my nature as a social worker irl to give people the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance to learn. You’re right that in the end, the league being saved and the characters not considering what could have led AFO to villainy is just “skirting around the problem.” And honestly, that’s probably what we’re going to get. I wouldn’t be surprised for the thought to pass in Midoriya’s head. After saving somebody like Shigaraki, who everybody in the story (and many readers) considered to be “too far gone”, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Midoriya entertained the thought for a brief moment. “What could have saved AFO from himself?” So honestly I don’t have an answer to this question that qualifies both sides. I can’t say that AFO is “too far gone” without undermining that fact that I never believed Shigaraki was “too far gone”, simply because we don’t get to decide what “too far gone” is. All I can say is that in the eyes of the story, there are far too many differences between AFO’s circumstances and Shigaraki’s circumstances to compare the two, and say they deserve the same type of sympathy from us readers.

Truly I have no sympathy for AFO, because the story doesn’t ask for it. The story wants sympathy for Shigaraki, Toga, Touya, Spinner, and even a tiiiiiny bit for Overhaul. It asks for NONE for AFO.

Another post I’ll link here that isn’t by me but by another awesome meta blogger (@hamliet) is this.

In a nutshell it says:

It’s not that AFO can’t be saved, it’s that he won’t. That’s the best answer I can give to that question honestly.

As for the third question:

That press conference was just...eh. I mean yeah, Endeavor not denying the allegations was good. Not that he really could anyway. It sucks for the rest of his family though. But at the same time Touya deserved his revenge, even though it was at the expense of his siblings and mother. It sucks, it’s a double edged sword because somebody is hurting no matter what was gonna happen. Endeavor was an asshole to that lady but I don’t really care too much. I’m really torn on what I think is going on inside Enji’s head because the Todofam is either extremely dense, or Horikoshi is writing their dialogue extremely vague on purpose to keep reader’s on the edge of their seats regarding what they want to do about Touya. I really don’t know. I’m not thrilled with the way the Todofam plot is being written right now, even though I’m 100% sure Touya is going to get his happy ending. But right now anything to do with the Todofam that isn’t Shoto and Touya just bothers me. I don’t think Enji really understands yet what he has to do for Touya. Yes he recognizes that he has to atone, but he’s not recognizing HOW he has to atone. Right now he’s still stuck in that “I have to be a hero to absolve my crimes against my family” headspace and I don’t think he’s going to get out of that headspace until he comes face to face with his son and realizes that he can’t just fight villains and go home to a happy family that he terrorized for 20 years. He’s going to have to let his family go, let them decide when to let him back in, if they ever do (I think they will just because of the way the story is being written.) As a reader, Enji is just a character that I cannot vibe with, no matter what happens. I definitely appreciate his role in the story. His role is vital to Touya’s saving and redemption. Touya is in my top 3 favorite characters from this series and I’m emotionally invested. So while I appreciated Enji’s role in the story, I don’t like his character or anything to do with him, at least until it comes time to help save his son. Also the trio of Hawks, Best Jeanist, and Enji just gives me major back the blue vibes and I just can’t read their chapters and be in a good mood lol.

Thank you for the ask! I hope I answered everything! This was fun to answer!

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brian-bloody-may · 4 years

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hi, love!! may i please request something with bri? enemies to lovers would be spectacular, but anything fluffy on your mind will do!! thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺

Hi! You’re my first ask :D I absolutely adore the enemies to lovers trope, though I’ve never actually written a fic using it! It's a little different however than the usual trope so keep that in mind. I accidentally ended up writing more than 4,000 words for this one (I was aiming at making it less than 2000 words jfsljgalk) and I think maybe some parts are stupid or don’t make sense, but I think it’s cute at least and it’s fluff and angst so what more can you ask for? Enjoy! Thanks for the prompt!!! I think I’ll call this “A Hard Day’s Night” lol

Slight tw for cursing

You didn’t mean for it to be this way, it just sort of….happened. You liked to think you didn’t have any enemies, I mean, you didn’t talk a lot, you didn’t have a lot of friends and you kept a low profile. You minded your own business, plain and simple. So how you ended up despising your neighbor across the hall from you was truly a shock to yourself.

It’s not like you didn’t have a reason though. Looking back, perhaps you had overreacted but....no, you had a perfectly valid reason. You sigh, you didn’t want to think about it anymore. You shut your eyes and laid back in your bed, and still you couldn’t stop replaying the day’s events over and over in your head.

It was, perhaps, one of the worst days you had had in the past few months. School was piling up, you were behind on no less than 3 assignments, you had an approaching test and you most certainly weren’t prepared. You had bills to pay, groceries to buy unless you wanted to starve. And now, the cherry on top, your mother had called to tell you that your father had been in a bad car accident, and that he was in the hospital with multiple broken bones. The pressure was piling and piling and piling.

So, after the worst week you’ve had in a very long time, all you wanted to do was go back to your shitty apartment and cry. Fate, apparently, had other plans. You entered your building and began walking up the steps. Truthfully, you hadn’t fully noticed the loud voices coming from somewhere farther up in the building, but as you got closer to your floor you realized it was coming from the hallway in front of your room. As you stepped into the hall, you noticed 4 men, 3 of them laughing and joking around, while the other man locked the door behind them preparing to go who knows where. You recognized him as your next door neighbor whom you had never actually spoken to.

The sight of them had only caught you off guard for a second before realizing that, actually, you couldn’t care less who they were or what they were doing, as you only wanted to be in bed. As you walked towards them, all 4 noticed you, you kept your head low. You noticed out of the side of your eye that a blonde one had elbowed another one of the men, before walking towards you slightly with a confident and arrogant attitude that had already begun to piss you off. Then he spoke.

“Hello, gorgeous.” he said.

You heard one of them groan in annoyance, and another, which you realized after was your neighbor, chastise him.

“Roger, please.” he said

“What? I was only being nice”

Through all of this, you kept your head down and you didn’t stop to give him the satisfaction. You would have to walk past them to get to your apartment, so you kept going. Then you heard your neighbor speak once again.

“Oh, hey, I think I left something inside, let me get it.” and he quickly unlocked the door and went in, leaving the other 3 in the hallway. Right before you were about to pass them, the blonde, Roger, once again made a move, moving right in front of your path and leaning against the wall on his elbow in a stupid attempt of looking appealing. His other 2 friends, one with black hair and one with brown hair, both rolled their eyes.

“I’m Roger,” he said with a sly smile, sticking out his hand for you to shake.

“Piss off,” you replied.

The two other men, though they seemed annoyed with his antics, didn’t think to move out of the way to let you through the cramped hallway, so you opted for pushing yourself through forcefully, slightly knocking Roger off his balance.

“Hey!” he yelled, offended. As you went past he put his hand on your shoulder, and in one quick moment of rage, you snapped and turned around.

“Listen to me, asshole. If you ever fucking touch me ever again, you will be so sorry. I’ve dealt with men who love to harass women, I’ve seen it all, and you’re just as bad as them. You do not have the right. So next time you even think about laying a hand on me or any other woman you’ve ever bothered, take a moment to think about what a piece of shit you are.”

In the moment you hadn’t noticed it, but your neighbor had found whatever he had been looking for and was now back outside in the hallway, locking up his apartment again as you went off on his friend. As you finished, you saw the look of shock on all 4 of the men’s faces. Whatever they had been expecting, it wasn’t that. Roger put his arms up in defense.

“Woah, I’m sorry.” he said half apologetically.

You turned on your heels and walked away, not suffering one more second of interaction. You heard your neighbor behind you saying something to them. It registered for a moment that he sounded angry.

You were already looking for your keys in your bag as you approached your door after what seemed like a 5 minute ordeal. In reality, the events from the moment you got to the top of the steps to the moment you reached your door couldn’t have been longer than a minute, but doesn’t anger always make you perceive things differently? You were already fiddling with your keys and were about to unlock your door when you noticed that your neighbor had run up next to you before you got into your room.

“Look, I am so, so sorry for my friend’s behavior. Roger can be....a pain” he said as he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

You merely looked at him, anger still blurring your head.

“Um, if there’s anything I can do, you know, to make up for it, please let me kn-”

And before he could finish, you were walking into your apartment and slamming the door shut in his face. You had no room for niceties, no room for forgiveness at the moment. You turned around and slammed the keys on the kitchen counter. You thought that he might try to knock, or to say something on the other side of the door, but you heard nothing more and forgot about it. Your only mission was to cry like you had never cried before, so you walked to your bedroom, shut the door, and fell face first onto your bed. And then came the tears.

For the next few hours you had gone through a sad and vicious cycle. Cry, wipe your tears away, compose yourself, pick up the book next to your bed to try to move your mind away from your problems, remember your problems, and cry some more. Honestly, it was therapeutic. At some point you knew you wouldn’t be able to bottle your feelings up anymore, and maybe, you thought, this would be a turning point of sorts. Maybe you would be able to get your shit together after the climax of the day. Well, you thought that, and then you began to cry some more.

And so there you sat, crying rather loudly in your apartment, wallowing in self pity. So much so that you almost didn’t hear the knock at your door.

At first you wondered what would happen if you just didn’t answer the door. Whoever was on the other side of it surely couldn’t have been more important than what you had going on at the moment. But, in a quick moment of judgement, you decided to make yourself get up and answer it. You walked to the door, wiping tears and mascara trails alike off of your face, trying to maintain any dignity you had left.

You didn’t bother looking through the peephole before opening the door. There stood your neighbor in front of you. It occurred to you that perhaps you didn’t have a right to be angry at him; after all, it was his friend who had set you off, not him. He had only been in the firing range. But either way, at that moment his was not the face you wanted to see. A new spark of rage began boiling in you, but he began talking before you got the chance to act on it.

“Hello, I-” he began before pausing, taking a look at your face and tilting his head. He undoubtedly noticed your tear stained face, you realized. “Uh, sorry, are you alright, love?” he asked gently.

Perhaps, if you and he had been friends, this question would have sparked a different response in you, but after the day you had had, you didn’t quite feel like unloading all of your angst on to a stranger. Instinctively, you wiped your face with the back of your hand, trying to further wipe away your stained face.

“Yes,” you said swiftly and angrily, “what are you doing here?”

“Uh, well, I just wanted to apologize again for my friend, you see. I just,” he paused and looked down, before looking back up to you again. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

You wanted to be mad. You wanted to be furious at him. He, a complete stranger to you, had no right to check on you. He had no right to ask if you were alright, to invade your privacy. Briefly, however, it crossed your mind that maybe you were being rash and ridiculous. You stood there for a moment, deciding on some sort of response to his question. Then, it hit you like a pound of bricks, and, oh god, you were crying again. In front of your neighbor who you’ve talked to a collective 2 minutes total.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t put this all on you, I’m sorry,” you said, tossing the rest of your dignity out of the window. You rested your head in your hands and tried to stop the flow of tears.

“No, it’s alright, it’s ok love, I-” he stopped, not knowing exactly what to say. He hesitantly put his hand on your shoulder, and you looked up at him, dodging your eyes away every few seconds in a sad attempt of escaping eye contact.

“Listen, and it’s alright if you don’t want to or if it would make you uncomfortable, but uh, well. Would you like to come over to my apartment? I totally get it if that’s not alright, I know we don’t exactly know each other like that, but...you seem like you could use a friend right now.”

You looked around restlessly, your tears slowly coming to a stop as you wiped underneath your eyes once more and exhaling out. You thought about his offer, thought about how on another day, under different circumstances, you might have declined it. But he was right, you could use a friend.

“Okay.” you said. “Let me grab my keys.”

“Al..alright” he replied. He seemed as if he expected you to say no.

You turned back around, grabbed your keyring off the counter, and followed him out of the apartment and towards his own. He let you go in first, and you took a quick look around. It was nice; a little messy perhaps, but it was charming. The walls were littered with various posters and illustrations. One of the posters, you noticed, had 4 people on it whom you recognized. You looked closer and realized it was your neighbor and the 3 others you had met earlier today. Well, ‘met’ was an over exaggeration. Underneath the photos, written in extravagant text, wrote “Queen.” It was a band poster.

You felt him walk up beside you after closing the door.

“Are you guys a band?” you asked, beginning to finally settle down but still sniffling occasionally.

“Uh, yeah we are, actually.” he said, once again rubbing the back of his neck as he had done earlier. You looked at the poster again, seemingly lost in thought, before he pulled you out of it.

“Right, well. I don’t suppose I’ve officially introduced myself. I’m Brian” he said, extending his palm.

“I’m y/n” you replied. And for the first time that day, you smiled, even though it was only slight.

“Hello, y/n” he repeated, faintly echoing your smile. You realized that you didn’t exactly know how to progress the conversation. You had just cried in front of your neighbor, and now you were in his apartment. Needless to say that this was a new situation for you, and it seemed it was for Brian too. There was a short moment of silence over the room before you spoke up, breaking it awkwardly.

“I’m really sorry about everything,” you began before getting cut off.

“No, if anyone should apologize it needs to be me,” he started apologetically. “I’m so sorry about my friend earlier, Roger is a real pain in the ass and doesn’t know how to talk to people appropriately, as you can tell. I should have stopped him, I didn’t realize what he was going to try, I should have known though. I could have handled that better.”

This took you aback. You hadn’t anticipated such a sincere apology and now you were beginning to feel guilty.

“Really, I shouldn’t have lashed out at you that way earlier, I shut the door in your face, that was rude, i-” you paused to take a breath and ran your hand through your hair in the process. “It’s just been a really long day. So much has been happening lately and it’s become overwhelming. I usually don’t get so angry and impulsive, I just-”

“No, it’s alright, I understand completely. I’m the same way sometimes. It’s easy to let your problems, I don’t know, spiral sometimes. Snowball effect, until they’re so big they’re tough to handle. I get it.”

You weren’t used to someone being so kind to you. It almost made you start crying again, this time out of relief instead of frustration. You tried to hold back, but tears pricked the back of your eyes anyways. One escaped and you quickly wiped it away.

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.” he said, noticing it.

“No, no, you’re ok. I’m just not used to...this.” you quickly reassured, vaguely gesturing your hand in the air. You weren’t exactly sure what ‘this’ was.

“Would you like to sit down? Can I get you something to drink? A glass of water?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” And with that he turned away into the kitchen, leaving you in the small living room to sit down on his couch.

Looking around some more, you noticed a few things. On the walls, among his own band poster and others, you noticed a few illustrations and images. You realized that they were of constellations, planets, stars; anything related to space, it seemed, he had pasted on his walls. You then noticed a telescope in the corner of the room next to the window. It was silly, you pondered for a second, because right outside of his window was the wall of another building next to it. Surely he wasn’t able to see many stars through it, you thought, but your attention was once again drawn away by the sight of another thing. Near the telescope was a shiny red guitar propped up on a stand. He was a guitarist, then.

Brian walked back into the room a moment later with a glass of water in his hand. He gave it to you and you took it gratefully before taking a small sip. Perhaps you hadn’t realized how dehydrated you had actually been. He took a seat on one of the chairs next to the sofa, as to not overstep his boundaries and sit too close.

There was another moment of painfully awkward silence. You were beginning to wonder if this was a mistake. You had no business being here, did you? You thought that maybe you’d say something like, ‘well, perhaps I should be going’ or maybe even ‘sorry for wasting your time, i shouldn’t be here’ but you realized that it would only be combated by Brian’s reassurance, so it wasn’t worth the effort. Instead, you settled on something else.

“So,” you began. “I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I’ve been crying all afternoon and have been on the brink of tears since you invited me to your apartment.” You tried to work in some type of humor to deflect or lighten the mood but Brian didn’t laugh, he only stared empathetically in your direction, listening to you intently, not interrupting. His kindness was so astounding it scared you just a little, but you decided that you wouldn’t stop, and so you began to unload everything you had been carrying that day, that week, that month. It all came unraveling like a tightly coiled ball of yarn. You told him about school, about how you were in debt and were struggling to stay afloat, how your dad had been in an accident and now on top of everything else you were worried sick about him.

“I think the...situation..in the hallway earlier was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m sorry you had to be there for that. All the stress was just too much to handle, and as soon as I got to my apartment I just...shattered.” you finished, with one last sigh. As you recalled everything, you were afraid that it was becoming far too overwhelming far too fast. You felt it heavy on your chest, you felt your voice become hoarse, your eyes become glassy, your lungs taking shallow breaths. All of the sudden you weren’t in Brian’s apartment anymore, you were inside your own head and nothing around you made sense.

And like that, for the thousandth time that day, you burst into tears. You couldn’t say you were surprised. You placed your head in your hands and tried to even your breathing but it wasn’t working. And then, out of nowhere, you felt the couch dip beside you, and you felt 2 arms wrap around your shoulders.

“It’s alright love, you’re ok, I’ve got you, no need to worry.” He said in a soothing voice, and you believed him. You didn’t think about the way that you had only known him for a little while and he had already seen you cry twice. You didn’t think about how one might find it strange that you had only just met and he was hugging you and helping you calm down from another fit of tears. You only thought about how at that moment, for the first time in a long while, you felt safe and cared for and no longer alone.

This time you didn’t try to stop crying, you just let it happen, and Brian didn’t seem opposed. He let you cry in his arms, occasionally running his hand over your hair and reminding you to breathe in and out. After what you guessed was 6 or 7 minutes, your tears slowed, but Brian still held you. You were grateful. You finally took a long, shuttery breath and began to find some semblance of composure.

“Thank you,” you said simply.

“It’s no problem, darling. None at all.” he replied, slowly untangling his arms from around you, and you almost missed the contact once they were gone.

In the moments after you both stayed silent. Brian let you process, and you took a few more sips from your water glass. Your attention was drawn back to the guitar in the corner.

“You play guitar?” you asked to draw the conversation away from sadness and stress and everything else that had just passed over you in a wave of emotion.

“Yes, I do. I built that guitar with my father. I’ve been using it ever since,” he said.

You thought that maybe you shouldn’t bother him, you had already put him through enough, he didn’t owe you any favors. But, you had to ask, didn’t you?

“Would you mind...playing something for me?”

“Yeah...anything you’d like” he said and stood up from beside you to grab it. You thought that maybe when he sat down he’d sit back in the armchair next to the couch, but instead he resumed his position next to you, only sitting a little farther away to make room for the guitar. He looked down in concentration before beginning to pluck a tune that was simplistic but beautiful. Then he began to sing, and you were entranced.

“Yesterday my life was in ruin. Now today I know what I'm doing. Gotta feeling I should be doing all right” he sang peacefully

“Doing all right. Where will I be this time tomorrow, jump in joy or sinking in sorrow anyway I should be doing all right. Doing all right”

You wanted him to sing forever. You would be perfectly content if, for the rest of eternity, you sat on his couch while he lulled you with a gentle melody. With each lyric, you fell deeper into the trance. Your eyes traced the features of his face. He was facing forward on the couch, his profile in full view and illuminated by the lamp a few feet behind him, making everything about him feel angelic and ethereal. It didn’t occur to you how intensely you had been staring at him while he sang. It was only when he stopped that you noticed he seemed a little nervous under your watch.

“It’s just one of our songs, my band’s I mean, It’s nothing much really,” he said, looking away awkwardly.

“It was perfect,” you assured. “You’re incredibly talented”

“Thank you,” he smiled, seeming genuinely appreciative of the comment.

For a moment you thought that the awkward silence had returned, but actually, you realized, there wasn’t anything awkward about it. You both sat still for a moment, and it felt as if you two had been friends for years, like you were more than strangers who happened to live in the same hallway. You didn’t feel strange or uncomfortable. The sadness you had felt only an hour, hell, only a minute or so before this moment had seemed all consuming, but now you could hardly remember why a lingering tear still ghosted your cheek. Your anxiety and stress was a distant memory now as you looked a few feet in front of you into his eyes.

He was looking back at you.

You noticed faintly how his eyes flicked down to your lips for a swift moment. You noticed, faintly, how yours did the same. For a second, you almost thought that the air had changed, that the energy had shifted in some way, you didn’t pay it much mind.

“y/n?” Brian said gently, lowering his voice nearly to a whisper. You realized he had inched slightly closer to you. You hadn’t realized just how close you had been sitting to each other before then. You skipped a beat before responding.

“Yes?” you asked.

He seemed unsure of himself, unsure of what he really wanted to say, and if he really wanted to say it.

“Can I…” he trailed off, not bothering to finish the question before leaning in ever so slightly to seal the gap between both of you with a kiss. A gentle one, one that perhaps matched the way he had been towards you that evening; soft, understanding, careful. Sweet.

It couldn’t have lasted more than 6, 7 seconds. You didn’t want it to end, but you certainly wouldn’t dare miss the expression playing on his face once you had parted. He smiled like you hadn’t seen him smile yet. He seemed happy, which was a beam of light upon the darkness in which the interaction you’d had together had started. He was considerably taller than you were, but he rested his forehead against yours gently, and he laughed.

“Was that terribly inappropriate?” he asked, looking down between the two of you.

You considered for a second what you wanted to say. You laughed back.

“It would only be appropriate, I think, if we didn’t do it again” You saw him smile again as he moved his head away slightly to look at you.

“Well, I suppose we have no other choice.”

He moved his hand up to your face, cupping your jaw, and again you closed the gap.

#brian may x reader #brian may #queen #fanfic #gwilym lee #gwilym x reader #bohemian rhapsody #roger taylor #john deacon #freddie mercury #asks #prompt #angst #fluff #early queen #roger is a little shit lmao #i luv him though uwu #brian may x you

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rin-00 · 4 years

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Intimacy - Kieu My x Fatou

Therapy has been a blessing for Fatou and although it has helped her significantly there are still moments in her day when she feels like she’s back in square one. Like right now. She’s been doing her math homework for the past hour, the page completely smudged due to her writing stuff down and then erasing it over and over and over again. Despite the constant sessions with her teachers, her therapist, and even Kieu My who takes time out of her day to tutor her, she still can’t grasp simple concepts and even though she knows it has nothing to do with simply being dumb it doesn’t mean her insecurities surrounding her intelligence has all of a sudden disappeared.

Heart palpations whenever she can’t figure out a simple problem. Panic. And then the panic turns to sadness. Self pity. And then guilt over taking up everyone’s time over something so simple. And then pain. Her chest feels like it’s being pulled from the outside and her heart feels like it’s about to burst out if she makes any sudden moves. When she told her therapist this she was informed it was probably due to anxiety. And in her head she can’t help but feel even worse. Who gets chest pains over math problems? Who spends so much time curled up in bed hiding underneath multiple layers of blankets because of a couple of numbers? What’s wrong with her?

After throwing her work book across the room Fatou climbed on her bed, wrapping her blanket around her body and pressing her pillows against her sides. Three quick breaths in and a long deep breath out. And then repeat. Over and over until her heart has calmed down. There was a moment of silence before she heard vibrations coming from her pocket. She sees that it’s Kieu My calling her and if it was any other day she would have answered before the first ring ended but right now she doesn’t want her girlfriend to see her struggling. She could easily lie over the phone but the taller girl is so in tune with everything about her that she knows she’ll be able to pick up even a slight difference even on the phone. But she shouldn’t lie to her girlfriend. She wouldn’t want Kieu My to lie to her if she was having a bad day.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby. I’m just calling to see how your math homework is going. Did you do the practices I sent?”

“I took a little bit of a break.” Before Fatou can even hear herself crying she sees her tears hit the phone screen.

“Are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid -”

“Don’t use that word.”

“Sorry. It’s just...I feel like I’m not making any progress and I just can’t take it. I’m just having a hard time. I’m ok though.”

Fatou hears shuffling over at the other end before a muffled, “I’m coming over. Leave your window open.” Before she could reply and tell Kieu My that it wasn’t necessary the phone call ends and she rolls off her bed to unlock her window before crawling back in.

———————————-—————————-

It’s freezing cold and she’s running through Berlin wearing her pajamas. She has to make sure Ismail doesn’t get wind of what she’s doing or else she’ll be on the receiving end of so many jokes for at least a month. If someone had told Kieu My a year ago that she would be zooming through Berlin for a girl she would scoff at them. Call them stupid (a word she has completely erased from her vocabulary these days) and dismiss their statement as absurd and even crazy. But right now? She thinks she’s being completely sane. Ever since her and Fatou have gotten together it seems like she’s always doing grand romantic gestures but in her mind they are all completely (ok that’s an exaggeration, maybe just ‘somewhat’) sane. She’s climbed that girl’s roof so many times she’s 99% sure she can do it blindfolded. The hardest part isn’t even the roof. It’s the damn hedges. So many fucking thorns and leaves getting stuck in her hair.

After swiftly climbing up the roof, Kieu My tip toes her way to the window. It is 3:23 am and she’s pretty sure Fatou’s neighbors would not react kindly to being woken up by someone sneaking into their neighbor’s house. In fact, Kieu My is surprised she hasn’t been caught yet, especially considering the first couple of times she’s climbed the roof to sneak into her girlfriend’s room usually ended with her knocking over a bunch of crap that was leaning against the wall. Or maybe they saw her do it the first time and are just used to seeing an asian girl climb their neighbor’s roof. She’d rather they think she was a burglar than find out Fatou’s entire neighborhood has been watching her climb up a roof.

When she opened the window and climbed in, she took a moment to look around and saw her girlfriend nowhere. She sees the math workbook slumped against the wall and when she goes to pick it up she hears a slight sniffle coming from the bed.

“Fatou?,” a shuffle and then a teary eyed face peaks out from underneath multiple layers of blankets and pillows.

Kieu My feels her heart simultaneously break and melt at the same time. Seeing her girlfriend crying and in pain makes her feel as though someone took an ice pick and pierced her chest but seeing the smaller girl sniffling adorably while wrapped up in fuzzy blankets makes her entire body warm up and melt inside. Quickly moving over to the bed, she tosses a majority of the pillows and blankets to the floor in order to make room.

Opening her arms she gestures for Fatou to come to her, “Come here baby, let me hold you.”

Warm breath tickles her neck when Fatou nuzzles against it and then she feels tears hit her shoulder, “It’s ok. You’re okay.”

After a couple of minutes of her leaving soft kisses against the other girl’s cheeks and forehead as well as reminding her every now and then to catch her breath, Kieu My finally hears normal breathing coming out of the other girl. Looking down at her girlfriend wrapped up in her arms, she gently takes off the specs that were resting crooked on Fatou’s face and sets them aside before turning off the lamp on the bedside table.

She feels Fatou’s voice vibrate against her neck, “What was that?”

“Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.”

“I love you so much,” and then a gentle kiss against her jaw, “so much.”

“I love you too, baby. Now rest. I’ll be here in the morning and we can figure everything out together.”

Anyways. I wrote a fanfic now it’s you guys’ turn to write one lol. Feel free to leave comments on what you think I can be doing better (be nice I’m sensitive) or just boost my ego with compliments. Keeping that druck tag alive

#druck #fatou x kieu my #skam

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

Ok imma be honest, this chapter moved me to tears and not the sad sobbing but the more inspiring kind. This chapter means the world.

She had told them her dreams were about ducks – since there were the only equally horrible thing she could think of.

Uncle Magnus had given her an odd look then, as if he knew she was bullshitting them. But he hadn’t said anything.

DUCKS AREN'T THAT BAD! HAVE Y'ALL EVER BEEN CHASED BY A GOAT?? I WAS CONVINCED I WAS GONNA DIE

Lexi would be royally pissed if this turned out to be some stupid pointless dream.

YUP

Even though she was only 7 minutes older than Lexi, Selena always acted like she was 7 years older.

That's so cute though

People looked at her pastel-coloured aesthetic immediately assumed she was the soft and sweet Fairchild twin. People saw Selena in her red leather jacket and thigh high boots and assumed she was in the infamous troublesome Herondale twin.

SMH THE DAMN STEREOTYPES

Why Selena hadn’t killed her in her sleep yet, Lexi doesn’t know.

BYE THAT'S EVERY SIBLING RELATIONSHIP EVER

The meals at the Academy were to die for – quite literally. Last week two students from the warlock fraction had almost killed each other over a blueberry muffin.

Oh how times change...they will never know the dreaded soup

NO ANJALI HAS BEEN GONE FOR OVER A YEAR???

IS JAIME OK?? PLEASE BE OK! HE CAN LIVE WITH TREATMENT SO I REALLY HOPE HE'S OK

Selena’s was Idris of course. She was kind of obsessed with it.

Max loved the shadow markets. Lexi thought they were very cool too.

Rafael loved his father’s office – which was weird. There was nothing to do in that room other than ponder about shadow world problems. Besides, the place still weirdly smelled like the tangerine perfume Anjali wore, even though the girl had left New York almost a year ago.

David loved the New York Institute – especially the library.

Gigi of course loved the dining halls.

Dining halls, kitchens, food trucks, vending machines - if a place had food with it, Gigi loved it.

It's so amazing how they all have their favorite places...(same David same)

“You’re supposed to pour the syrup on the pancakes not into your mouth,” Lexi chuckled as she sat down next to her.

“It ends up in my mouth anyway,” Gigi shrugged.

True enough.

AWW ROMAN MAKING GIGI PLAYLISTS!!

Someone make me a playlist.

“His parents fell in love in Rome when they were in Rome,” Gigi pointed out even though Lexi already knew. “I think it’s actually romantic.”

I had forgotten that-

Roman was nice. But not nice enough for Georgia. Lexi didn’t think there was anyone good enough for her parabatai – who was the most perfect person in the world.

Me @ anyone who tries to make a move at my best friend.

AWW GEORGIA LIKES HIM TOO!!

When's the wedding?

(you're telling me you didn't believe you were gonna marry your childhood crush? Liar)

“I like being his friend,” Georgia said. “I like spending time with him and all of that. But I don’t know if I like him…in that way. I feel like I need more time.”

Demiromantic??? YES GIVE US THE REP

Lexi sometimes thought life would be so much simpler if the world was full of women and everyone was a lesbian.

Ikr?? Life would be so much easier.

Lexi says Roman is too-nice-sus

Well well well

The kind of love that cheated death.

The kind of love that sustained memory spells put by princes of hell.

The kind of love that changed the world.

Trust me all of our standards are very high

Lexi successfully survived the class without falling asleep.

Me during English.

Ok who's the blond?

Lexi I thought we weren't gonna fall this soon-

Oh the girl's straight...sigh we've all been there.

which meant they had to hold hands. Kinda.

Lexi was a little scared of that.

Me.

Goddamnit, Alexandra. Get your gay together!

THAT'S SO RELATABLE LIKE?? YES

OH MY GOD IT'S EMMA AND JULIAN'S DAUGHTER GEIDIDHDOHDJSKSJSKGXJDHSODHKDGDDGDJHDJDGDJDGJDHD

Lexi knew Olivia liked boys. She hadn’t dated anyone officially of course. All the boys were kind of terrified of her father.

She could be bi or pan or omni. WE GOTTA HAVE HOPE

vegetable loaf... David I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

Lexi then decided not to do any of her homework over the weekend because she was not coming back to the academy. She was not going to survive the sleepover and whatever else Olivia had in mind.

Bestie...why is this me when I make eye contact with my crush.

“Good stuff?” Max snorted. “Rafe literally ran away from home cause shit got too intense.”

“I didn’t run away!” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Stop telling people that!”

“But you have rumours and shadowhunters getting thrown into silent city and cohort drama and all that exciting stuff!” Liv pointed out.

I-

Liv-

True though.

“Wasn’t there a serial killer when your parents were young?” David asked.

“And didn’t your uncle do necromancy?” Max said biting into a chicken wing.

True and true

“Sorry, Chouchou!” Lexi winced. “I, uh, sensed a mosquitoe on your leg.”

“Girl, your angel powers are weird as fuck,” Max laughed.

MAX LANGUAGE

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged and threw her a wink. “I wouldn’t put anything past Lexi.”

Lexi looked at Gigi. She was one more compliment away from screaming.

But Gigi of course knew her struggle and therefore quickly stuffed a bread roll into Lexi’s mouth.

I need someone to stuff bread into my mouth when things get like this

There were rumours about David – and how Daddy had an affair. Lexi was yet to find those asshats and shove a witch light down their throats.

When you find them lemme know too.

“Or maybe it’s because you don’t need rumours be interesting,” David pointed out.

Max turned around, looking surprised at that. His cheeks turned purple. Lexi didn’t know why he was surprised. David only ever spoke fondly of Max.

JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY OH MY GOD

“Oh. Oh! I did hear something a long time ago!” Gigi said suddenly. “Olly, is it true you were conceived at the beach?”

“Georgia, you can’t just ask people where they were conceived!” David sounded horrified.

That is very much possible.

“I heard you were conceived in hell?”

“Oh my god,” Selena looked horrified. “That’s not true! It must have been about Max!”

“Y’all I am adopted!” Max was shaking with laughter and then stopped. “Although our dads could have definitely had sex in hell. I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Oh yes. Both clace and malec.

Then they had of course continued to discuss that cursed topic until Rafael had threatened to tell the Consul about it.

LMAO

Lexi turned around and saw Liv waiting for her. Nope. She wasn’t going to talk a walk – a fucking stroll! – with Olivia all on her own.

“You are coming back to the institute with me or I will un-parabatai you.”

You know there being an un-parabatai ceremony would solve a lot of shit

What if their hands accidentally grazed or something? That shit was lethal.

RIGHT????

She is just trying to be nice. That’s what friends do. They are nice. And they give each other pretty dresses and say they would like to see them in it.

Honey that's gay.

EVERYONE ASKING HER OUT IM DEAD

Selena: Ugh boys

Selena: When I win back Idris, we are leaving all the men behind.

Lexi: Except Magnus? Lol.

Selena: Obviously.

Is that even a question Lexi? Duh.

ALEC LIGHTWOOD THOUGHT SHE WAS STRAIGHT? THE SHAME!

OH MY GOD IM CACKLING

Not everyone can kiss their partner in the Accords Hall. Some people didn’t have access to the Accords Hall.

And most important, some people didn’t have partners!

We're getting a lexi and Alec talk someone hold me

“I’m going to tell you something,” Uncle Alec said. “It might sound simple. It might sound ridiculous. But it’s the truth. So, you must believe me. Can you do that?”

Lexi gave him a small nod.

“It doesn’t matter what other people think,” Uncle Alec said. “Not when it comes to your future. Not when it comes to your identity. They don’t get to have a say in who you are and why you are the way you are.”

Lexi bit her lip.

“Alexandra, people will always tell what to do. But you shouldn’t let them. Never let anyone tell you what to do with your heart or your body. Neither belongs them. It only belongs to you.”

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME START CRYING BECAUSE DAMN YES!

“Yep,” she groaned and then hesitated for a moment. “Uncle Alec…Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Can I say no?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

I love her so much

“I feel…I feel it’s something we have to bear, Alexandra. The fear of rejection. It’s something we have to accept as an inevitable part of our lives. Because no matter how much love we have around us, we will always be afraid of people not loving us – simply because of who we are.”

Yeah...

“Besides, they named you after me,” he pointed out. “I don’t know what else they expected.”

EXACTLY! Did they really expect a straight child after naming them after Alec?

“I do like shouting,” Lexi wondered out loud. “That’s good advice.”

“I didn’t mean it literally!” Uncle Alec looked alarmed.

“No, it makes total sense!” Lexi grinned. “Some of these people can be tone deaf. Gotta shout it out. Loud and clear. Awesome advice! Thanks, Uncle Alec!”

DO IT

“Hey, Lexi. I was wonderin-”

“MOVE, I’M GAY!” she yelled as she shoved him aside and kept on running.

ABSOLUTELY ICONIC

“I prefer she/her,” Lexi answered. "But sometimes I prefer she/they. But you can use she/her because some of y'all already shit at grammar."

That's exactly what I tell people when they ask for my pronouns. Istg people are shit at grammar.

alright girl im here to give you a lecture on how someone's dressing doesn't describe their sexuality

OH MY MY GOD THERE WAS A GENDER AND SEXUALITY CLASS IN THE ACADEMY ARE THEY RECRUITING???

One of the boys who had complimented cleared his throat. “So, uh, you don’t like boys?”

“That’s literally what I said,” Lexi rolled her eyes. “I’m gay. I’m very gay. I’m gayer than the Consul. Okay fine, that’s not true. No one gayer than the Consul. But I’m still pretty gay.”

Does the boy have hearing problems?

ALSO YES NO ONE'S GAYER THAN THE CONSUL

“Sexual orientation and gender expression are two different things,” she explained now, remember what Uncle Magnus had taught them. “Sexual orientation refers to who I am sexually and romantically attracted to. Gender expression is how I want to express my gender identity. Those two are not connected. Just because a woman wears feminine clothes it doesn’t mean she is straight. Just because a man embraces femininity, it doesn’t make him gay either. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh,” the girl nodded. “Yes, it does. Thank you!”

“What I wear does not reflect who I like. It reflects who I am and what I like to wear,” Lexi explained. “And regardless of my sexuality, I like pretty things.”

Exactly.

“This doesn’t change anything. I hope you know that,” he told her. “I mean I have to change the pronouns in my shovel talk. But that’s not a big deal.”

Awwww

Also – my good friend Raziel told me that homophobia is a sin.”

“You mean homosexuality is a sin?” an older man asked.

“No, homophobia is a sin,” Lexi repeated. “That’s what Raziel said.”

“But that’s not-”

Someone cleared their throat. When he spoke, it was in the Consul Voice.

“Are you saying know better than Raziel?” the Consul asked.

Listen to Raziel you dumb shit

“Sure. Let me just call the Lesbian Alliance,” Lexi rolled her eyes.

Ugh I wish

OH NO NO NO NOT THE FAKE DATING. JUST CONFESS AND DATE FOR REAL

“Alexandra, I have a fucking undercut and I have pink highlights and I cuff my jeans and I literally walk around with a sword and I can quote Lady Gaga to perfection! Why would you ever think I was straight??”

Lexi your gaydar is broken bestie.

Don't do this omg this is gonna be a mess

Gigi: THIS IS A BAD IDEA. ABORT! ABORT!

Lexi: Relaaaax. It’s going to be fine!

Gigi: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know the fake dating trope never ends well!

Lexi: I’ve told you to include the ‘angst with happy ending’ tag!

LMAO

Also Gigi which fanfiction do you read?

Jace omg...

That's so him though.

“How about my peeps? It sounds very hip.”

“It does not,” Lexi replied. “Please don’t refer to us as your peeps under any circumstance."

IM SCREAMING ASHSKHSIDBSHSHDH

Her father chuckled at that. “Sweetheart, you’re a Herondale. Being problematic is what we do.”

EXACTLY

Daddy opened the notebook again. “I need names.”

Grabs flamethrower names

“Besides, the Lightwoods and Blackthorns have been hogging the gay genes for too long. Now it’s our turn. I say you gay it up.”

“Gay it up?” Lexi laughed.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “Go for the highest possible level of gay.”

DO IT

He blinked for a second and then it hit him. “OH MY GOD YES! DOES EMMA KNOW??”

Lexi laughed. Yeah, he can never find out it was a fake dating situation.

Hopefully he won't have to because it won't be fake :D

“To love is a privilege and to be loved is a blessing.”

THE GROWTH OH MY GOD

This chapter literally means so much to me. I don't even know what to say. I hope I too can one day have the courage to shout it in front of everyone and not be scared. See ya on Tuesday!

It means so much to me that this chapter meant a lot to you. I hope you find all the courage, strength and support you need. You are amazing.

And here. I made you a playlist.

You can find it here on YouTube. I hope you like it :)

#lbaf

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peeterparkr · 4 years

Text

perennial;tom holland|four.

chapter four: yellow carnation

↳ flower meaning: disappointment

chapter summary: the one with the denial.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: angsty, mentions of sex, swearing, lol cherry

word count: 8k

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles three: in which y/n and Emma thought it would be a good day.

previous chapter next chapter perennial masterlist.

perfidy ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

“So you saw Emma?” Harry asked, for the third time.

Harry and Tom were both certain they had both fucked up. Different context, same type of concept of idiocy.

Tom was an idiot.

Harry was an idiot.

But Harry was more aware that Tom was even more of an idiot than he was.

Tom thought so, too.

That was the only thing he was certain of at the moment. He had screwed up so many times before but he really didn’t want to this time. Not that he had meant to the last times but this time he was going to make sure he wouldn’t fuck it up.

Though, he was confused. Very, very confused. As to why he’d gotten the reaction he’d gotten. It seems ironic, even. But he had missed her. So, so, so much.

He hadn’t realized how much he had missed her perfume. Something so simple, but so powerful. A scent he’d never be able to ever forget.

He had imagined it differently, honestly, their encounter. He thought it would’ve been nicer or prettier. Instead, it was chaotic. Not poetic.

Tom had fucked up, he knew that. Not this one time. Well, maybe this one time. Maybe this other time, too. Had they run out of chances? Because Tom had fucked up the first time, she had fucked up the second time.

But they’d been building up this one relationship that was so chaotic, that was so different. Maybe that’s why it had been so hard.

Tom had been through breakups before but none of them had felt like this one, not even when he’d given her the third yellow flowers. It was so confusing, to think you’d give out your heart completely when they were just there to hurt you. He’d been hurt before but not like this. Not this breathtaking, piercing pain. Pain that didn’t go away.

Now Tom knew how it felt, how it felt to be told that your body is physically healthy but your heart is so broken that your body is bringing you down.

But he missed her too much to even think about that. He had forgiven her, in some kind of way. He knew that she’d be the medicine.

He’d forgiven her, in a way. In the way that he needed to be with her to work it out.

Though he was still nervous about it. Especially because of Tim.

That bothered him the most. She’d run away from him. Leaving it all behind. But he had heard her. He probably didn’t have to worry, right?

He had brought the letter.

He had probably memorized every line by now. Probably to use it as some kind of weapon-No, they had to stop thinking of it as a weapon. But it was his backup, using her own words to get to her.

He had read the script now. That was the only proof he needed. He thought. Because there was that constant thought in his head, Timmy.

Tom hated Tim for many reasons, but the main one was that Tim had taken the chance TOm had let go off after that club night. He couldn’t hate him for making y/n so happy but he hated him because Tom knew that was supposed to be him. Now he hated him more because if he had proposed it meant he wanted to keep y/n forever.

He remembered how y/n was when Tim had been around, back when they were dating. As if y/n was in some sort of charm. One single look and he’d made y/n blush, and smile.

Tom and Harry were pitying themselves on a bar, a beer in their hands.

“Yes, I saw Emma,” Tom said.

“Did she ask about me?”

“No.”

Harry sighed.

“Y/N didn’t want to talk to me, but she was--” Tom gulped. “Kind of swooning over me before she saw I arrived.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I told you not to go.”

“Why not? You were going to look out for Emma!”

“But I didn’t! Because it was stupid! It was clear they weren’t happy we were there!” Harry rolled his eyes.

“But why not?”

“She bloody fainted!” Harry pointed out.

Tom chuckled, but Harry glared at him.

“I’m sorry, but it’s cause, I just… Fuck I had missed her and she looked so pretty and-”

“Tom.”

“I thought she’d be happy to see me!” Tom said cockily.

Harry was getting tired of his brother.

“I mean she technically was happy right?” Tom asked.

“No,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“but… Why didn’t she… I thought she’d be happy we’d be directing it,” Tom pointed out. “She says we’ll end up ruining it.”

Harry sighed heavily.. “Honestly we didn’t think this through.”

“But it was the only way to see them,” Tom snapped.

Harry rolled his eyes, “No it wasn’t.”

“And fuck, okay, Emma didn’t tell me anything about Tim.”

“Why do you care so much about him?” Harry asked.

Because he was jealous. So, so jealous. Always been jealous. Because Timmy managed to get the girl before he did.

“He looks like some stupid Victorian boy and he’s not even hot and yet he had y/n drooling over him, and this is the fucking second time that when things are screwed with y/n he takes the chance to make her happy.”

Harry watched him. “Huh, so you’re jealous.”

“Yes,” Tom hissed.

“Why are you even jealous--?”

“Because I can be, first thing she did was run back to her ex, that’s so fucking stupid,”Tom pointed out.

“As far as I know he was the only one to reach out for her to see if she’s okay,” He said.

Tom clenched his jaw. Well, was he supposed to reach out? But Tom hadn’t run to any of his exes, because that’s not what he was supposed to do.

“And honestly, I think it’s coincidental, even James said it,” Harry pushed. “She didn’t run to him, Tim offered her to run away with him, she didn’t, she ran after her dream. He’s just her roommate.”

Tom wasn’t happy about this statement. Yes, of course he knew that but Tim was still … He didn’t want to see it. No.

“I—I am just angry that y/n wasn’t happy because I’ve been—dying to see her okay? It’s so stupid.”

“You are stupid, may I remind you about Cherry?” Harry asked.

Tom hadn’t been making the best decisions, either. The heart often fucks up especially when it's hurt. The heart tends to be louder than the mind, and it’s irrational. He hadn’t been reasoning. He regretted many decisions he had made. That last decision was haunting him, that one particular decision.

The heart is stupid. The heart is very stupid. Tom was even more stupid. When one's heart feels lonely it tends to search for something that feels like love in places where it seems easy. Some go for drinks in a late night pub, others shut themselves from the dark. Others try to soothe the pain by trying to ignore it. Some listen to music, others ignore. We all deal with heartbreak differently, with your head under water, we all try to find our own way of trying to get out, though we truly don’t.

Tom had reached out for love when someone had offered a trial for love, without feeling anything. A free pass, if you may. Someone who didn’t ask for anything in return because they wouldn’t give anything either.

It’s not love, though. It’s not love. It’s not love, but it’s good enough to make the heart feel like it’s complete, to cease the crying or to change the feeling . Trying to find their faces in places where it’s less likely to see it. Something remotely close to warm the heart, something that can make us feel like we’re fooling our heart, trick ourselves into believing we’re happy. Trying to get some sort of happiness, even if it’s only a hoax for just a few hours. To make our bodies warm, and trick one’s mind into thinking it’s pleasure. He hadn’t meant it, but he really needed a reason to keep his mind off y/n, and the closest thing had presented itself. With no strings attached offered, with only that offer of blowing his mind enough to forget about his sorrow. But one must be careful with one’s lies and one must be careful because you really can’t fool the heart.

You can’t try to mend it with something that looks like love, it’s like trying to glue it back with barely anything that can make it stick, like trying to glue something with dirt, it only makes it hurt more. When one is broken, we don’t see it, but what Tom had done with his heart had only made it worse, hurting it even more. When one is brokenhearted the heart tends to try and make it good, but this had only made it bad.

Tom had slept with Cherry. Yes, that was the truth. It had been a mistake of a series of unfortunate decisions.

Cherry.

“It was stupid,” Tom said. “I… I feel so bad about it.”

And he did. But it had been so… easy. It was so simple, so so simple. Cherry was well aware that she had been a ‘rebound’ of sorts. Honestly, she was looking for a rebound of her own. It had been their agreement, hanging out. But it seemed like one shouldn’t play with fire, playing with two broken hearts is very very risky. But you know when one is lonely and confused and angry and then the dark comes and the way that her body moved and the way that she wouldn’t hurt him, they’d come up that far. He never knew it would lead there.

Tom had slept with Cherry. Yes, that was the truth. Tom had fucked it up the most, that was no surprise. But his mistake had only made both of them realize that it had been a clear dumb mistake.

Tom had slept with Cherry. Yes, that was the truth. Only once, though. But there were a lot of things to consider. A friendship of two broken hearts, of two hearts that still remembered someone they loved.

It was easy for Cherry, and it was different.

It had been very immature and stupid. But Tom had missed y/n’s lips, y/n’s delicate fingers walking down his body, or the way that she’d smile against her neck, and the way she’d place her forehead against his. The way he’d get butterflies when they were going after the thousandth kiss.

Maybe that had been the closest thing he could get to.

Tom didn’t know why he had slept with Cherry, though he hadn’t… It had been pathetic, honestly. He didn’t know why he let himself do that. Sure, at the beginning it felt fine. As a new adventure, a new person that didn’t know anything about it. But he ignored it, at first. Her flirting. He had said it was only a friend. And then they kept hanging out, more and more. And suddenly he was taking off her shirt and kissing his way down her body.

But he hadn't stopped thinking about y/n, that had been the problem.

All the damned time, and it gave him a lot of time to think about them, the whole idea of ‘Tom and y/n’. Y/N was crazy, Tom was an asshole. And time after time, their pride and their immaturity won, over and over. Maybe love or something quite similar to love had sentenced them to fall.

But he missed her, and not even cold showers could make her memory go. Tom thought about it, maybe it was too stupid to even think about it. Tom and y/n.

But her memory haunted him each night, and even if it didn’t make any sense, even if they were meant to fall, y/n was his best mistake.

It felt like a different time, and Cherry had pointed it out. “You’re always expecting a call.”

He did. And it didn’t make any sense, if he was trying to get over y/n, then why was y/n always in his mind? Why was he always expecting to listen to her voice? It was so pathetic, if he was starting out something new… If he was faking his happiness, why didn’t he feel happy? Why did he still miss her so much?

And he had wanted to call, but he was too proud to do it. What would he even say? Because he never got to say goodbye, because he never got to say he was sorry. Because he never really got to say that it didn’t matter.

But maybe ‘y/n and Tom’ wasn’t logical.

Harry frowned. “Yeah.”

“I’m just… She can’t know about it,” Tom said. “I’ll find a way to tell her.”

Harry watched him, “maybe it wasn’t the best idea to direct her script.”

“I just—I wanted to find a way back to her.”

“If you had just listened to me,” Harry rolled his eyes. “I know y/n, she probably wanted you to show up in the rain with a thousand roses—“

“Yellow flowers.”

“Yellow flowers whatever, but she probably wanted you to stand there shaking in the rain—“

“It’s not raining—“Tom interrupted again.

Harry took a deep breathe. “She probably only wanted you to run after her and love her and have some big romantic movie gesture, a film like moment, like the ones in her script where William runs over to her and they dance under the rain—“

“But she told me not to come here.”

“She didn’t fucking mean it, or not… Yes, she wanted to heal but then you should’ve reached out to her!”

“I just wanted to be a big part of her dream you know?” Tom looked away.

Harry was so stressed about it. “I told you that if you bloody wanted to do something with her script just to audition for it.”

“She’s not only angry about the script,” Tom said. “I know her.”

“You know her now?” Harry scoffed

“If I’ve learned something about her is to know what she’s pissed for and she’s not only pissed about me directing,” Tom snapped. “There’s something else bothering her.”

Harry scoffed.

“What?” Tom frowned.

“You’re going to get away with it, again,” Harry pushed.

“What?”

“Please, Tom you’re not the one in trouble,” Harry frowned. “Can you stop talking about y/n for five minutes please?”

“What do you mean I’m not the one in trouble?” Tom frowned.

“Because it’s you and her,” Harry stated, as if the statement alone explained everything.

“What?”

Harry sighed heavily as he ran a hand through his face. He downed the beer in front of him and then turned to his older brother. “Please Tom, I’ve seen this story before it’ll only take you to make her laugh once and she’ll run back to you and she will be swooning over you that’s how you work, you fight, you bully each other, you fucking get into a big argument, she gets angry you get cocky, you smile at her one and she’ll be on her bed listening to a song that reminds her of you and then you’ll be okay! She’ll be back in love with you into that endless cycle.”

Tom listened and frowned. “That’s not true.”

“Yes it’s true, she’s so deeply in love with you that it won’t matter whatever happens she’ll end up running back to you, especially now that she knows you love her,” Harrys said. “I just.. now my problem is that my ex fiancé doesn’t even want to talk to me and I fucked up with her so badly and I’m an idiot because I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me for… someone who-”

“You have it easier.”

“No, I don’t,” Harry snapped. “I love Emma, and I’m an idiot and… And I’m I don’t even know if y/n told her I kissed her which would only make things worse because I-”

“Why… why did she give the ring back?” Tom asked, interrupting his brother again.

Harry looked away. Tom had seen that Harry had avoided that question over and over.

“Because I’m an idiot,” Harry snapped. His eyes were glazed now as he avoided his brother’s glance. “I’m an idiot because when she asked me about it… About how I felt about y/n… and I said I didn’t know.”

Tom stayed quiet.

“And she asked if I would’ve married her instead, and I stayed quiet,” Harry recalled, looking down. “I should’ve kissed her right there and then.”

Tom kept quiet.

“And—I don’t even remember how the conversation went. I just know I broke her heart because I was too confused for my own sake,” Harry admitted.

“I dunno what to tell you, man,” Tom said. “I'm not exactly the best at—“

“And I still have to get used to this, you know? You and y/n.”

“There’s not even anything going on,” Tom recalled. “But you and Emma have more hope.”

“No, because unlike y/n, Emma did run away,” Harry reminded him. “Unlike y/n, Emma didn’t have a reason to leave and she searched for it, Emma did give up on me.”

“You think it’s lost?” Tom asked. “Because I don’t.”

“Dunno,” Harry said. “I want to test the waters and try to fix the fixable.”

“Which is?”

“My friendship with y/n, and I know that if I manage to win her back as a friend she’ll help me out with Emma.”

Tom sighed. “But what about--?”

“Look, I’ll see what she says, just don’t try to ruin it, okay? If she doesn’t want to talk to you right now, don’t push it,” Harry warned. “We will see it tomorrow, how she reacts this time.”

“How do you think she’s doing?” Tom asked.

Girls wanna have fun. You know? Yet, y/n and Emma didn’t want any fun that night. How could they? The day had been utter bullshit. Y/N and Emma had stayed with her aunt. Y/N had left some clothes with her aunt so she could stay some nights there. And she had decided that that night was the perfect night to stay there, she didn’t need to do this to her heart. Seeing Timothée would only bring Y/N’s heart more sore. She didn’t need that.

Her mind kept going back to Cherry, she hadn’t really addressed it, what she knew that her aunt knew the answer to. Her aunt hadn’t said anything about before, really.

But it didn’t matter that night.

“Girls I won’t let you pity yourselves all night crying over men, alright?” Eliza said.

Emma, laying down on the couch upside down, nibbling on the popcorn y/n had in her hands looked up and laughed.

Y/N was on the floor, right beside Emma, too emotionally drained from the past 24 hours. She didn’t want to even look up.

“You see,” Emma said. “I’m not crying, I’m in denial,” Emma explained. “And I can’t believe they’d show up.”

“I can’t believe I’m still swooning over him,” Y/N said. “I don’t understand it, like… He showed up and I just wanted to kiss his entire face.”

Eliza sat down in front of them and chuckled to herself. “Girls, you can’t be like this.”

“It’s cause he… He dared to do this, and I’m angry because I’ve cried over him so many times in my life, and I thought I had made up my mind already that I wouldn’t… That I’d be over him, And just look at me! I’m still so...smittened, like I can’t believe that I just… I just feel this way and literally if I see him tomorrow and he fucking dares to smile at me like that again I’ll run to his arms and…I just wish I had never let him go, I feel like an idiot for leaving, but then again, I had a reason right? I was angry and I was sad and he was too,” She rubbed her face. “But then but but… Here’s the thing,” y/n stood up.

“Oh, god, she’s gonna monologue,” Emma sat up to lay down on the couch. Eliza gave Emma a knowing look and chuckled.

“Emma!” Y/N chuckled. “ I don’t understand this, I can’t… I can't. Why don’t I have any self control? Like literally when he touched my face I was about to-”

“Yes I saw, you were about to open your legs right there and let him do anything to you,” Emma pointed out.

Eliza laughed.

“That’s not-”Y/N blushed, letting out a shy snicker. “Emma!”

“Please, y/n, you have no self control I know that tomorrow you’ll end up making out with him,” Emma said. “And I can't blame you because I saw him and I just wanted to forget everything and I actually imagined my life beside him and—“

“Girls—“Eliza tried to interrupt again.

“And now I have—Flowers. Flowers?” Y/n sighed. “Pink and yellow peonies, he had to choose peonies? And now what the hell am I supposed to tell Tim?”

Emma chuckled. “Listening to your misery y/n is making me feel better, I thought I was fucked but at least my problem is a one thing problem,” Emma laughed.

“I hate you,” y/n rolled her eyes. “Are you still in denial or do you want to talk about it?”

“Still in denial,” she winked at y/n. “do you have ice cream El? Never had ice cream and wine before, is there any ice cream?” Emma asked as she walked to the kitchen opening the fridge, welcomed by all kinds of organic food. But she found an ice cream, or a sort of ice cream.

Y/N laughed. “What the hell am I going to do?”

“Well,” Eliza sighed as she walked over and sat beside y/n, as now Emma plopped herself on the single couch as she took a big spoonful of the ice cream pint. “What does your heart tell you?”

“Give up and go to Greece,” y/n laughed.

Eliza chuckled, as she hugged her legs, watching her niece. Expecting her to elaborate.

“I don’t know, you know they say time heals but I’m still hurting so much, but--” Y/N sighed. “It’s strange.”

“Love is strange,” Eliza acknowledged. “Think of it as a-”

“Flower?” Emma asked.

“No,” Eliza sighed. “Think of it as if someone is weaving in your heart, and sometimes the heart is senseless, and irrational, and they keep weaving, or knitting , they knit their way to imprint in your life. That’s why they stay there.”

“Tom didn’t knit or weave he used a bloody industrial sewing machine and then stapled himself and then industrial glued himself and then with cement and—“

“We get the point y/n,” Emma smirked. “Tom basically owns your heart.”

“Yeah.”

“What I see in both of you is that both of your hearts have a surplus of love,” Eliza said.

Y/N looked up.

“You girls were ready to love more for more time , your hearts were prepared to stay in love for a longer time and to give them both so much love and even though the time spent with both of them left your hearts weaved so kindly...now they ripped it apart so, it’s understandable, to feel that way. Like a ripped old unused cardigan.”

Emma sighed. “Yes, but being angry and in love?”

“Being angry doesn’t cancel love, dear,”Eliza explained. “Whenever we get into a fights it doesn’t mean we stop loving them, you’re both angry because you still love them and want to fix this but they’re men and, though we love them, we shall always remember that they’re rather stupid.”

Emma and y/n chuckled. “Yes.”

“But I fucked up,” y/n said. “I should be the one apologizing to him.”

“Yes dear, you did something wrong, and yes, you should apologize, but the first person you should apologize to is yourself. You’ve been too harsh on yourself because you made one mistake, and yet you’ve forgiven all of his.”

Y/N looked, down thinking to herself. Maybe she had been right.

“And you Emma,” Eliza turned to her. “You should at least let yourself feel,” she said. Emma nodded as she made her way to sit beside Eliza. “We all need a hug from time to time.”

Both girls leaned against each of Eliza’s shoulders.

“You know,” Emma said. “Before Harry,” she started. “I didn’t really… know love, you know?” She explained.

Both y/n and Eliza turned to see her. Emma never really spoke Harry’s name. Y/N had probably heard Emma refer to Harry as ‘him’. Never speaking his name out loud. She never really talked about it. Y/N had probably only heard Emma say his name that same day, maybe once in a while sporadically. But never talk about the subject, never addressing it. Just ignoring it. Always going: My life after him.

‘Him’.

So different from how y/n always referred to Tom, and how she tried to speak Tom’s name as many times as she could

“Before Harry,” Emma continued. “I thought love was very substantial, you know? Very… Not Splendid, just written by the book, that kind of stupid teenage love that involves kissing and wearing matching bracelets, and baking each other cookies from time to time,” Emma continued. “The kind of love that is all: oh they didn’t text back, or hey, we need to see each other every Friday. Very… not love like.”

“Before Harry,” Emma said. “I’ve never… cared about stuff, you know, I was kind of a goody two shoes with my parents, and then Harry came along and there I was telling little white lies to my parents, my friends, to Tim so I could sneak out to see him at ungodly hours, keeping secrets, and… You know my past relationships were merely… Physical, and then it was Harry, and it was just staring into his eyes and feeling the whole world was stopping, and I was swooning over him, talking about nonsense. And then hours felt like seconds, but he showed me how to stop time just so I could make him smile once more. Him and his stupid camera that he carries around everywhere.”

Y/N and Eliza watched her. Her voice had cracked as she was speaking, as if each word was taking away her life. Emma was… sad. And Emma was never one to be sad.

“And then when I thought everything was okay, when I thought I finally could… Love and be loved by someone. And I thought, this is stupid, why do I feel like this, you know?” Emma laughed.

“I dated way too many guys before Harry, and then I was changed, daydreaming, smiling to myself, sighing romantically. I had changed, for good. And I thought, hey, he’s just a man, you know?” Emma bit her lip. “He’s just a man,” Emma repeated. “Yet, I was… I wanted to do all the cute things, and I just initially didn’t want to give in to him, but I just simply and unequivocally fell in love with Harry, so easily, and I didn’t understand why, but I didn’t have to understand.”

Y/N had always doubted Emma because of her first impression. Because Emma initially wasn’t the type of girl Harry would date. She was too different. Y/N was wrong.

“It was…” Emma gulped. “Perfect, and then…” She paused to look down. “They snatched it away from me, and then the man who I thought loved me for who I was apparently didn’t, and he loved someone else, someone pretty, someone smart, someone who… Someone who my own best friend said was perfect, and then I thought I wasn’t… worth it, you know? Then I felt used and I saw the girl and she just… She was perfect, and then he said it, he confirmed it, how he had indeed been in love with that girl who was seamlessly perfect. With that girl who had known him his whole life, with that girl he had always cared for…And it was that question, is there something wrong with me? Why can’t I be her? Why does she get to… have him? But it wasn’t on her,” Emma continued.

Y/N felt bad, she hadn’t really stopped to see it. How Emma’s heart had been broken because of her. How y/n had apologized, and how she’d taken Emma’s friendship for granted. That Emma had grown from the problem because they both needed a friend.

“And I thought I could work it all out,” Emma sighed. “Him,” Emma chuckled to herself. “He said it, how confused he was, how he didn’t know where his heart was, how he said he needed to try it, try to get that thought out of his head, that he needed to know why he’d lost the chance with her. How he thought…” Emma took a deep breath as a single tear was streaming down her face. “How he thought that I was his endgame but if he never knew what it would feel like to be loved by his first love he’d never be happy,” Emma ran out of breath by then, she looked down, her eyes still glazed. “He’d never be happy with me. And I asked him if he would marry her instead if he had the chance, and he didn’t answer.”

Y/N reached out of her hand, as Eliza hugged them both.

They didn’t really say much after that, what could they really say? And the night washed away their thoughts. Eventually Eliza had gone to sleep leaving the two girls to their own despair. Both laying down on different sides of the room, hugging pillows, confused.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said softly. “For Harry.”

Emma gulped and shrugged. “Yeah, no, it’s not your fault.”

“But it is,” y/n said, sitting up. “I did write about it.”

Emma stayed quiet. “Yes, and I… I understand it, that feeling I guess,” Emma chuckled. “I felt that way with Tim at some point, too.”

Y/N didn’t want to look up.

“The whole… If this is the person I’m supposed to love and if this person is good enough for me, why can’t… I?” Emma pushed.

Y/N eventually looked up. “Did you and Tim ever tried it?”

“Yeah,” Emma laughed. “And it just confirmed to both of us that we were supposed to be friends. I mean we only went on one date and when we tried to kiss it felt… Like ugh, no,” Emma chuckled.

That was something that she didn’t know.

“Maybe that was what Harry needed, you know,” Emma said. “Make sure he didn’t…”

But Harry had tried again. He had reached out, and he had asked y/n, if it could ever be him. Maybe y/n had ignored that thought in her head, probably because she didn’t want to even get deep in that thought.

“And I’ve seen you, you’re in too deep for Tom,” Emma said. “Poor Tim.”

Y/N frowned. “I’m not trying to hurt him.”

“No, I know,” Emma said. “You can’t help it, but… I always knew it, and I never.. When Tim told me about you and Tom I was… Firstly relieved because that was the confirmation I needed because somehow I always knew you were in love with Tom, I didn’t know about him, he was very good at hiding it, but you just… I don’t know.”

Y/N had a secret, one which she didn’t know if she had to share with Emma or not.

“Harry texted me,” y/n said it, as simply as she could.

Emma gulped. “What?”

“Yeah, he said he was going to reach out for you but he knew it was a stupid idea, and he.. Wants to talk to me.”

“Yeah, you should talk,” Emma nodded. “Save your friendship.”

Was there really any friendship to be saved? Y/N didn’t know if she even wanted to sort it out. She didn’t even want to see them the next day.

She hadn’t slept, at all. Her mind kept roaming between Tom, Tim and Harry. The different problems she’d had to face with each.

Emma didn’t go with her the next day to the studio. And there she was, all alone walking to them. Tom hadn’t looked up to see her this time. Alessandra, Josh, other people were there as Tom and Harry were awaiting for y/n.

“Good morning,” were the only words y/n had spoken towards them. The meeting started, Tom had avoided any possible type of eye contact towards y/n. Harry hadn’t. He’d done most of the talking, about the project, the ideas, the production. The inspiration.

“I just…” Tom said, eventually. “As I read the script,” he continued with poison. “I think we deserve to know more about William’s side of the story.”

Y/N looked up, deciding whether that bothered her or not. She decided it didn’t, because she knew his side of the story was a mystery to her, too.

“I couldn’t help but wonder if there could be a scene with William’s heartbreak,” Tom continued.

“Yes, of course, the ending, is something we’ve been working on,” Alessandra said. “I think that would add a bit more. Maybe even reflecting her first heartbreak, the one with the montage”

“Reflecting Valerie’s heartbreak, yes,” William said. “Almost mirroring it.”

“Well, I mean, mirroring it could work in a matter of film like symbolism, but I think William’s heartbreak is not the same as hers, I think-”

“No you’re right, his heartbreak comes from what he thought was a relationship,” Tom said. “I think we should work on something like that. His heartbreak is real.”

“I’m not saying it’s not real, I’m saying it shouldn’t mirror it,” y/n said. “I’m saying all heartbreaks are different.”

“Maybe you’re right. I think his heartbreak deserves its own spotlight.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah.”

“But it’s not the same,” Alesandra. “After all William hurt Valerie more times, I think--”

“THat’s why we deserve to know his side of the story, otherwise he’s just an asshole and it wouldn’t make any sense as to why she loves him,” Tom said.

And yet she does, y/n thought.

The meeting went too decent. Y/N guessed Tom had understood that she really didn’t want to talk to him. Y/N was ready to leave, she didn’t want to see them. She didn’t want to see him.

She didn’t want to see Harry because how could she make things better?

But Harry had rushed over to her as soon as the meeting ended. Tom walked past them, scrolling in his phone. Y/N only watched him stand by close.

“Hey,” Harry said.

Y/N wasn’t aware why she was so damn selfish or why she couldn’t make up her mind, and she didn't know why it had bothered her so much that he hadn’t talked to her. That he was avoiding her. After all, that’s what she’d asked him to.

She wanted to run to him, honestly. Kiss him, even. But then again the first thing he did was try to change the story.

Y/N kept staring at Tom, but then turned to Harry. “Hi.”

“Did…” Harry gulped. “Did Emma come today?”

“No,” y/n said.

“I… uh,” Harry continued. Tom looked up, but then proceeded to keep walking as his brother glared at him. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for lunch or something… So we can uh.”

“Yeah,” Y/N said watching Tom. “Only us?”

Harry looked up at Tom, who didn’t even flinch before walking away.

It made y/n sad but she knew that she had been the one to ask for it, besides she needed to talk to Harry alone.

They ended up at a diner, one of y/n’s favorite places. She had discovered it with Emma and Timmy, a 24/7 diner that had welcomed the three of them after a night out in the city. Best burgers and waffles they’d ever had. Maybe they weren’t that good, but when you’re drunk and it’s late anything serves.

It was 50’s themed, like most diners are. Black and white tiled floors, blue booths and pink walls.

Harry smiled to himself as he looked around. “Why am I not surprised you like this place?” He chuckled.

“Food is good,” she said.

Harry watched her. “Tom wanted to come.”

Y/N sighed. “Of course he did,” she pointed out hiding behind the menu.

“Coffee?” The waitress offered. They both accepted it. Neither of them had slept the night before.

“He is very stupidly annoyingly in love with you,” Harry shot it. He knew he had to start with that.

Y/N let down the menu to face him. “And I was annoyingly and stupidly in love with him,” she said. “I am… Am, not was,” she corrected herself. “But I need to get over him soon because I had assumed he moved on,” she sighed and then bit her lip. “But you say he’s still in love so I am very confused by your statement,” she admitted. “But right now I don’t want to see his pretty face around because he is the biggest idiot to walk into this planet and I really am angry he’s directing and probably here to ruin the biggest chance in my life so I’m going to ignore you just said he is in love with me because he is an idiot and I probably am too but right now he is more of an idiot because directing my script—”

“So you’re angry,” Harry said as he sipped from the hot coffee they had served him.

“Not at you,” she lifted the menu again. “I am actually not angry at you directing, you’re talented, and I trust you, I would’ve even called you,” she confessed. “But well—yeah, but I’d trust you with my eyes closed even if we… if that thing happened.”

Harry cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

“And I assume we are going to talk about that,” she let down the menu again.

“Yeah.”

The waitress interrupted them again as she took their orders. Y/N didn’t order pancakes. Waffles. She hadn’t really eaten any pancakes for a while, though it was her favorite food.

They just stared at each other, not sure where they were standing. How were they supposed to act?

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time. They both chuckled.

“No, you go first,” Harry said.

“No,I’m sorry Harry I just—I feel like it’s on me, I ruined your engagement,” she started.

“No, I ruined my engagement-” Harry interrupted.

“No, but it’s on me, with that script--”

“No, yeah but that’s on Tom not wanting to talk about it,” Harry said.

“No, it’s not.”

“No, I know.”

“I’m sorry,” y/n said again.

Harry knew it, they were both in denial, neither of them wanted to address the actual situation.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said.

But neither of them were sure where to start their apologies. They’d said ‘no’ seven times. For sure, they were in denial.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve got to…” She took a deep breath. “I… When I wrote it, I guess, I wanted to understand it, you know?” She admitted. “As if I was trying to…”

“But,” Harry said. “I don’t think it--”

“Makes sense, no, it doesn’t,” y/n finished his sentence. “And look I… was confused and I just, when I wrote it I just… Went through with scenes in my life but...But-Harry-”

“It’s Tom, I know,” Harry said it. “And… It’s Emma, and I can’t believe I… I can’t believe I wasted on some stupid...Sorry, sorry-”Harry chuckled as y/n faked to be offended. “Not what I meant.”

“No, I know,” she laughed. “And before--”

“I know I asked you for an answer but,” Harry sighed. “I… I don’t know, I was confused, very confused, because it didn’t make any sense and I guess I was just too overwhelmed with the situation, I mean I had been in love with you my whole life and,” he sighed. “It’s difficult, being in love with someone and then realizing they could’ve loved you or that they loved you at some point is just…” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess anyone would do anything for a chance but I guess we have to accept that… Sometimes the heart is wrong, right?”

Y/N sighed. “Yeah, the heart is stubborn.”

Harry watched her, curiously. “I just need… I just guess I do need an answer.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say, whatever answer she gave him it would hurt him. She remembered it, the last time she’d seen him. How he was confused and broken and barely saying anything, and just throwing words in the air with little hope, begging for an explanation. And what explanation could a brokenhearted y/n give him? How could she ever give him an answer when her mind and heart was too stubborn and too attached to Tom.

She decided she’d rather stay quiet.

“Is it silly to think about it?” Harry asked.

“I guess not,” y/n sighed. “It’s the whole... “ Y/N sighed. “But I am too stubborn to keep you in my life Harry, if something like that had ever happened, it would’ve ended up in disaster, and I’m not sure if I could handle another disaster.”

He nodded. “Love shouldn’t hurt,” he said. “And God knows how much I’ve hurt from loving you.”

“It’s Tom,” y/n said with all her pain in her heart. “That’s your answer,” she said. “And I can’t help but think how terrified I am that it was the last chance we ever had and I was the one to fuck it up, and I can’t help but think about the places we’ve cursed and how I’ll never be able to ever go to New York again, and how I’ll never be able to look at you and know I hurt you so many times and I couldn’t… I couldn’t ever love you the way you wanted me to.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“But there is someone,” y/n said. “There was someone who loved you the way you are supposed to be loved, and who is exactly the person I think—“

“Yeah, leave it to me to fuck it all up,” Harry sighed. “I—she won’t love me anymore right?”

“If she’s as stupid as I am, then she might,” y/n chuckled

Harry sighed. “I can’t believe I made her feel like she wasn’t the one most important person in my life, I—“

Y/n watched him, “you know it won’t be easy, right?”

Harry looked up. “WhAt?”

“She’s been having a real rough time,” Y/n said, “but—“

“That one sounds hopeful.”

“It might be,” she nodded. “I just want you to be happy and I want her to be happy.”

Hardy nodded. “Should I give a hopeful but to Tom, too?”

Y/n didn’t answer. She wanted to say yes. But instead the question she wanted to ask came out instead. “What’s up with Tom and Cherry?”

Harry paled as if he’d seen a ghost. “What?”

That was the only confirmation she needed. She needed to ask no further questions because Harry had answered it, there was something going on between them.

“There it is,” y/n clicked her tongue.

“What? No, how do you—?what do you—what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no!”

“If you’re asking those questions it means there is something going on,” y/n commented.

“I—no,” Harry

The waitress arrived and gave them their food. Harry tried to ignore the conversation by giving a big bite to his burger.

“Harry,” y/n pushed.

“There’s nothing going on,” Harry stated.

“Did something happen?” She asked again.

Harry started to sweat, as he finally stared at her. “Why are you asking this?”

Y/N didn’t know why she was asking this. She was barely reacting to it. She didn’t feel the heartbreak, she didn’t feel the pain throughout her chest.

“So it did,” y/n nodded.

“Why—“

“Lets call it a sixth sense,” she hissed.

“I am not the one who’s supposed to tell you this,” Harry said.

“Something did happen huh,” she bit her lip. Maybe that’s when it hit her. That feeling of someone hitting her with a truck.

“N—Y/N, I’m not—“

“Did they sleep together?” Y/N pushed.

Harry wasn’t giving her an answer yet she knew they had. His palms were sweating, he was blushing, and he was cracking his hands..

“Y/n—“

“You know you can’t lie to me,” y/n stated again.

“I cant lie to you, you’re right,” Harry admitted as he sighed heavily.

“Then?”

“I’m not saying anything,” Harry said. “It’s not my issue and—“

Y/N knew she couldn’t cry in front of Harry. How different things were.

“I didn’t tell Cherry about Tom,” she said after a while of staring at the sweaty and nervous Harry.

Y/n couldn’t get angry, she knew that. It wasn’t cheating. It did hurt, though. But not as much as she thought it would, probably because she had known it already. Or maybe she was avoiding it right now because she needed to act tough with Harry.

But it did hurt. The thoughts invaded her head. How prettier Cherry was, how perfect Cherry was. And then the image went to her head, to Cherry’s slim fingers walking through Tom’s chest, and him liking her touch more than y/n’s. How her lips had probably kissed that sweet spot Tom had right under his chin. How probably their sweaty bodies had collided and how Tom probably hadn’t thought about her. Not at all.

And how easy y/n was to get over. That’s what she thought. How he had moved on because he could. And how stupid she felt.

Harry stayed quiet.

“I didn’t want to. It was too painful to talk about it, too complicated, too,” y/n continued. “and I assume he didn’t tell her about me either.”

“No…” Harry admitted.

Y/N was sure her eyes were filling up with tears but she wanted to inform them as she stared at her food. How stupid it seemed, a breakfast food. She pushed the plate away, she definitely wasn’t hungry now.

“Yeah,” her voice was dry, so she only sipped from her water. “and I know that as long as it concerns Cherry, I was dating you.”

“What?” But even if that question carried a sense of confusion it also carried some understanding as if suddenly it had made sense. As if something out of the blue had popped into his head and clicked the story together.

“I don’t know where she got that from but I just didn’t want to explain anything to her, didn’t think I had to,” y/n continued.

“What?” Harry asked again.

“She assumed it was you who I was dating and who I had an ugly breakup with,” y/n continued.

“Why did you let her—“

“Because I didn’t want to give out my story with Tom,” y/n said. “Though I thought she’d get it from the flowers, guess she didn’t,” y/n bit her lip. “I don’t understand anything about it, so—guess she just saw a pretty boy and—“

“I—“

“Did they sleep together?” Y/n asked again looking into Harry’s eyes.

No answer..

“Harry did Tom and Cherry fuck?” And she’d used that word because she wanted to believe that it was only that.

“I—y/n—“

“You’re not denying it.”

“Because it’s not my place to deny those statements,” Harry said.

“That means they did,” y/n bit her bottom lip. “It’s fine. I mean. I’m as guilty, I guess.”

“What?”

“I slept with Tim.”

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