#i started everything when i was like 17 and i'm 23 now so like

[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 124]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

I have been sick as a dog since I last worked on this story. I'm not even doing any work today lol. I just want to get this chapter finished. Will probably do a couple rounds and then cook myself dinner, so there may be a gap at some point. Mostly I'll just be, like, reading when not posting. Wish me luck.

“Good day for a picnic,” Helen commented as she handed over the basket Thomas had requested from her a few days before. He was taking Logan, Patton, and Virgil to the cliffs today and it was perfect weather for it. Spring was truly here, which meant that those of Thomas’s duties that had laid dormant over the harsh winter were about to start up again.

The world had been on pause for a bit considering no armies or agents from any kingdom could get through the snow the last few months, but the concerns of last fall were showing their heads once again.

Thomas had just gotten word a day ago that the queen of Lamir had routed out a second assassin hiding in her ranks over the winter. The assassin had been sent shortly after it was made clear that the queen wouldn’t bow down after the assassination of her mother. Luckily, the assassin sent for Queen Cecil had not managed to complete her mission during the winter months.

While there had been no similar attempt on Prijaznia soil, Thomas couldn’t help but feel it was only a matter of time now that the snow had melted. They were already working on increasing security in the coming weeks and, though it was doubtful an assassin had managed to hide in the castle all winter without revealing themselves, they’d be closely scrutinizing all of the newer staff members.

It would be a stressful time in the coming months, which is why, despite everything Thomas needed to do, he was still going to take his son and his son’s friends on a picnic today. Logan had already started taking on royal duties as of late, but he still hadn’t taken them all on quite yet. Considering this was last summer before Logan was of age, they should at least try to take advantage of it where they could. Patton was a year younger, but the sentiment held for him as well.

Then there was Virgil. Despite their best efforts, they still didn’t know enough about Virgil, but Thomas was fairly sure he’d never had a summer to enjoy until now.

“Thanks for prepping lunch for us,” Thomas said to Helen with a smile.

“No problem,” she said waving them off. “I put in some of Virgil’s favorites.”

“Great,” Thomas said. “Do you know where the kids are?”

“Patton said they were going to go pet the cats, so I’d guess they’re in the gardens.”

Thomas thanked her again and told her to have a good day before exiting the kitchen. There was a nearby door that led straight towards the part of the gardens Patton and Logan had always favored. He figured they’d either still be around there, or they would have wandered towards the stables by now knowing that they’d be taking horses to the cliffs. So, he decided to simply walk the normal path from the door to the stable, hoping to find them.

His prediction ended up being hilariously correct. They were indeed on the path Thomas had chosen. It was clear they (or at least Logan) were attempting to make it to the stable. However, as was typical, a portion of the party had been waylaid by whimsy.

Logan was standing further down the path, arms crossed and frowning as he watched his friends. Patton and Virgil were surrounded by cats. Patton was sitting down, holding two of them in his lap and watching Virgil’s legs being swarmed by the rest of them, maybe two dozen in total.

Virgil looked confused, but not unhappy about the presence of so many cats. He was leaning down to try to pet them all.

Logan met Thomas’s eyes as he approached and waved a frustrated hand at the two of them. Logan couldn’t help but smile.

“Virgil fed one of them,” Logan complained as though he wanted Thomas to somehow go into the past and prevent this crime.

Patton and Virgil looked over at Thomas, noticing him when Logan addressed him.

“You’re going to make Princess Marisol jealous,” Thomas said. Logan frowned at Thomas as he used the ‘Princess’ label for the cat.

“Princess Marisol decided not to come,” Virgil said with a shrug. He continued to pet one of the cats.

“She’s probably sleeping on my pillow,” Logan said, sounding grumpy.

Thomas just chuckled. Princess Marisol was technically Logan’s cat, at least that’s what the kids said, and she did spend much of her time in the royal rooms. However, she was very clearly actually Virgil’s cat. Virgil just spent a lot of time in the royal wing as well.

In fact, Thomas still didn’t know where Virgil was supposed to be sleeping. He and Mr. Deknis had gone so far as to tail him a couple of times, but he always ended up sleeping in Logan’s room those nights.

Knowing Virgil, he might just sleep in the walls. Though that still did not answer the question of where his parents or guardians were. They still had not figured it out. Thomas would assume he was an orphan who’d snuck onto castle grounds for safety, but Virgil had told Mr. Deknis during their first meeting that he was supposed to be in the castle, and it had not been a lie.

Then again, it had slowly become apparent that Virgil was good at dodging the multrum’s powers. It was starting to seem more likely that he’d somehow inserted a second meaning into his answer to Mr. Deknis that night than he somehow had some ghost guardian no one was able to locate working in the castle.

“She deserves the pillow more than you,” Virgil said, bringing Thomas’s thoughts back to the situation at hand. The look of audacity on Logan’s face made Thomas chuckle.

Thomas cut in before it could become a fight. “I could get Princess Marisol a pillow, so she doesn’t sleep on yours. Or we can get you a new pillow if you’d prefer, Logan.”

“It’s not about the pillow for her,” Logan argued. “It’s about her inflated sense of superiority.”

“She deserves it,” Virgil declared. Thomas could tell he was just trying to rile Logan up, and Thomas was sure Logan knew it too, but still his son reacted exactly in the way Virgil wanted him to.

“You have enabled and encouraged this behavior from the start!” Logan seethed.

“She’s a princess.”

“She is not a princess!”

Patton shook his head while squeezing the cats in his arms, completely used to this behavior. He ran a chin idly over one of the cat’s heads while watching the argument.

“We’re never going to make it to the picnic at this rate,” Thomas said to him, “and after your mother made all of this wonderful food.”

“You’re the dad,” Patton said. “Make them stop.”

And, of course, Patton did just mean that he was Logan’s dad with that statement. However, when he glanced back up at the silly argument still going on between his son and the cat covered boy, it did almost look like a fight between siblings.

Especially with the dark hair and stubborn but mischievous look in Virgil’s eyes, Thomas could almost imagine the boy being his own child.

He shook away the thoughts and glanced at the picnic basket in his hand.

“We do have a lot of food in this basket,” Thomas said, pitching his voice up so that Logan (and more importantly) Virgil would hear them clearly.

Virgil immediately turned to look at him, abandoning all interest in antagonizing Logan to look at the basket curiously.

Thomas was never sure if he should be amused or worried about how food motivated Virgil often was.

“What’s in the basket?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Patton’s mom made it. We’ll just have to see once we get to the picnic area.”

Virgil nodded in understanding and began to gently extract himself from the droves of cats. Logan rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem inclined to continue the argument he’d been dragged into. Virgil and Patton got to their feet, and they continued on their way towards the stables.

The horses Thomas had requested be prepared for their trip were already in saddles, though the stable hand who had been handling Mr. Apples seemed a bit dirtier and more exhausted than the rest.

The stable hand seemed as happy to hand Mr. Apples over to Virgil as Virgil was to have Mr. Apples handed over to him. Thomas received Bella with a smile and Logan and Patton got their own horses as well.

The cliffs were about half an hour's ride from the main castle. There was a mostly well-maintained path to them, though it was easy to get lost if one didn’t know the way. Mr. Apples knew the way perhaps better than Thomas himself and seemed annoyed by the fact that Thomas was trying to lead the way. Virgil and Thomas ended up side-by-side whenever the path allowed it to placate him.

Thomas still marveled at how willing Mr. Apples was to let Virgil ride him, especially when he tossed his head in Thomas’s direction, a horse’s equivalent of giving Thomas a stink-eye.

“Are you excited for the picnic?” Thomas asked the boy beside him.

Virgil glanced over at him and nodded.

“I am too,” Thomas said. “It’s always beautiful this time of year. I’m glad I could find the time to take you all there this year.”

“Are you very busy?” Virgil asked curiously.

“I am king,” Thomas reminded, “and now that the world isn’t snowed in anymore things will be busy.”

“With the war?” Virgil asked.

Thomas paused for a few seconds. “Yes,” he confirmed. “With the war, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Virgil asked.

“You’re just a kid,” Thomas said.

“I’m 14,” Virgil said.

Thomas glanced at him. “Exactly,” he said, “a kid, and luckily, you’re in a place that can afford you the luxury of being one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The war has been mainly fought on Mocnejsi soil in recent years. Our boarders have held strong against invasions. Unless something goes horribly wrong suddenly, it would take a long time for the main conflict to get here. The only real threat in the castle would be assassins sent after me personally.”

“Right,” Virgil said. There was an awkward pause in conversation before he spoke again. “You’re winning the war then?” he asked.

“Something could always happen,” Thomas said, “but for the most part, yes, we have quite the advantage right now.”

“Oh,” Virgil said.

Thomas shook his head as they were coming up to a narrowing of the path. “Anyway, today is a day to not think about war. Today we’re going to have a lovely picnic and do some bird watching.”

“Right,” Virgil agreed from behind Thomas as Bella took the lead (to Mr. Apples discontent.)

When the path widened again, Thomas did his best to direct the topic to lighter subjects and soon they made it to the cliffs.

Chapter 57 (Virgil)

Virgil had never been to a picnic. At least, that’s what Patton had informed him when Virgil had described his past experiences of eating outdoors. Logan had agreed even though he’d admitted that the definition of “picnic” was only eating a pre-packaged meal outdoors which Virgil had done plenty of times.

From what Virgil could tell, the main difference was just how much stuff one brought to a picnic.

In addition to the basket full of food (that Virgil still hadn’t gotten to look in yet), the king had brought a large soft quilt that he had Logan and Virgil spread out on the ground for them all to sit on.

Patton and Logan had also packed some things themselves to bring along. Logan had brought along a book to read, and Patton had brought along a board game (thankfully not checkers but something Virgil did not recognize). Virgil hadn’t brought anything (except for the fire knife he was definitely not supposed to have and was definitely not letting the king see) because he hadn’t known he was supposed to bring things. He wouldn’t have known what to bring anyway.

The blanket was soft and a much better alternative to sitting on the ground, especially because, while there was grass at the top of The Cliffs, there were also a good number of rocks.

The king set the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket once it was spread out and then lowered himself down to sit on one side. Patton quickly followed him, already fiddling with some of his board game pieces, though he wasn’t setting it up yet. Virgil highly doubted that Logan was going to be allowed to read his book unless Patton eventually got bored of the game.

However, they would, hopefully, be allowed to make use of the basket the king had brought along.

Virgil followed the king and Patton’s lead and got to his knees on the blanket across the picnic basket from the king. He peered at the basket curiously.

He didn’t quite know what picnic food was, but Patton had told them they’d be getting ‘picnic food’ and he was very curious about what that meant.

King Thomas smiled at him. “Let’s see what Patton’s mom packed us, huh?” He reached for the basket and flipped it open as Logan sat next to Virgil. “There is a lot more food than usual in here,” the king said, sounding amused. “Let’s see.”

He began to pull out packaged food and glanced in each package to identify it before setting it out.

“We have a few types of mini sandwiches,” he said, putting them down, “and some pasta salad.” He set down the bowl.

“We also have… er something else.” He showed it to Logan.

“They’re hot cauliflower bites,” Logan said instantly upon seeing them. Virgil perked up in excitement. That was one of his favorite foods.

“Ah,” King Thomas said, but shrugged and set it down. “We also have two desserts apparently: cookies and mini apple pies. That last one’s a bit extra for a picnic.”

“They’re very good,” Virgil said happily.

“And we also have.” King Thomas paused, looking confused. “Chicken alfredo?”

“Yes!” Virgil said.

“Why do we have chicken alfredo for a picnic?”

“It’s a Virgil picnic,” Logan groaned. “She packed us a Virgil picnic.”

“Hey, at least momma sent us something too,” Patton said.

“I think I’ll stick to sandwiches for today,” King Thomas said. He looked at Patton and Logan. “Do either of you want…?”

“No,” Logan said. Patton shook his head.

The king nodded and offered the entire covered bowl of chicken alfredo to Virgil. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

“Really?” Virgil asked tentatively. It wasn’t exactly strange for people here to offer him food, and he’d expected and anticipated getting to eat on this venture, but the king of the country offering him an entire bowl of his favorite food was something else.

“It’s not really my idea of a picnic food and you seem excited for it,” King Thomas said with a warm smile, still holding it out.

Virgil took it reverently. Despite the time it had taken to get to the cliffs, the bottom of the container was still warm. Virgil assumed it was one of the heating spells the kitchen sometimes used.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, Virgil,” the king said.

The bowl was enough for four people to have a little bit, but for one person it was a lot. Still, Virgil was offered a little of every other food in the picnic basket (and he ate a good number of the hot cauliflower bites).

“Where do you put all of that?” the king asked when Virgil finished polishing off the chicken alfredo bowl.

Everyone else seemed to have finished eating long before Virgil, though Patton still had a small plate of grapes, and he occasionally popped one in his mouth. King Thomas was currently setting up the board game they’d brought on the blanket between all of them.

Virgil shrugged in answer to his question. “It’s good,” he said, “and I don’t want to waste any of it.”

“You know we can just take the leftovers back to the castle and eat them later,” King Thomas said. “You don’t have to eat it all now.”

Virgil just shrugged again, watching as the king set out a group of 8 figures on the board.

“Here, which character do you want to be?” the king asked Virgil, gesturing at the group of figures. Virgil had not noticed the figures were different at first glance. They were all copper colored and about the size of his thumb, but they had slightly different shapes. He squinted at them each carefully, finding they all looked like people, but with different clothing. Some worse pants and some skirts, a few had hats, and one was even carrying a book.

After a few moments, he pointed at one that looked like it had vines wrapped around its arms and was wearing a floppy hat that almost covered its eyes.

“That’s the druid,” King Thomas told him with a grin. “Good choice, and luckily not one that anyone usually fights over.” He glanced at Logan who didn’t react to his father’s gaze. He just plucked the figure clutching the book off the board for himself.

Patton and the king picked pieces for themselves. Patton picked one with an apron that kind of reminded Virgil of his mom and the king picked one that was in a suit of armor before putting the other 4 figures away.

Unlike checkers, this game wasn’t just for two people, and so no one had to sit watching people play while bored out of their mind.

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They played a practice round so Virgil could figure out how the game worked, though honestly it wasn’t that complicated, so it wasn’t really necessary.

The theme of the game was all about stealing. They were supposed to steal special tokens from other players as well as characters in the game and the first person with 20 tokens won.

The other three players argued that stealing was not the point and not the main mechanism of the game, but considering Virgil was consistently winning the entire time, he would argue they were just playing it wrong. He managed to collect 20 tokens before anyone else. In second place at this time was Logan with 9 tokens.

Logan insisted on continuing to play the game to determine 2nd and 3rd place, so Virgil ended up watching them play for a bit. Virgil didn’t mind sitting and watching other people play this game, mostly because he still had the joy of victory running in his veins.

Thomas was definitely going to lose, he noted. He kept wasting his money feeding the nonplayer characters who lived on his lands. Virgil didn’t mention this faulty strategy to him in case Virgil ever played him again.

When Logan took too long thinking about his next move, Virgil took in their surroundings.

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He’d been a bit too distracted by the prospect of food and then trying to understand (and then win) the game to truly take in The Cliffs. They were settled a good distance away from the cliffside but Virgil could still see how quickly the edge dropped off. He couldn’t see the large river he was told was at its base from where he was sitting, but he did see a few of the promised wild birds (including doves) flying around. The king had promised they’d bird watch for a bit, and Virgil figured that would happen after the game was over.

A cool spring breeze brushed across Virgil’s face, and he put his hand in his hoodie pockets to warm them. Instead, his fingers hit something icy cold.

For a moment, he didn’t remember what it was. The crescent shape of it was familiar when he put his hand over it, but he had never felt it cold before.

It was the protection charm: the first charm Virgil had ever made with Logan so many months ago. It was meant to ward off small threats as well as warn you about larger threats by changing temperature…

It had always been warm.

“What?” Patton asked, having noticed Virgil suddenly tense. Virgil, despite how he drilled into his friend’s heads to stay alert had gone soft. He’d let himself be distracted by a full belly and warm blankets and fun games.

He didn’t answer Patton. He filtered the other boy’s worried face out as well as Logan’s face as he glanced at him and the king’s still focused on the game for now. He filtered out the picnic blanket and smell of food still lingering in the air and the vine covered figure set in the middle of the board on the winner’s space. He filtered out the sound of the breeze and the breath of his companions and the distant chirping of birds.

And he heard a whoosh.

Chapter 58 (Patton)

If Patton hadn’t already been looking, he probably wouldn’t have had any idea what happened.

Everything had been fine. Virgil had been sitting cross legged, idly watching the conclusion of the game they’d been playing when his posture had suddenly changed. Patton had looked over at him only to see an expression on his face he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t seem good.

“What?” Patton had asked, but the question didn’t seem to register to Virgil.

Logan had glanced up confused and also noticed Virgil’s face. He’d just opened his mouth to also ask what was going on when chaos descended.

Virgil was suddenly moving, crashing into King Thomas who hadn’t even looked up to see something was wrong at that point. Patton realized after the fact that Virgil had swiped up the board of the game they’d been playing as he jumped over it, the pieces previously stacked on it scattering all over the blanket. There were three thumps as some things hit the thick board, imbedding themselves into the surface.

When Virgil discarded the board in favor of the picnic basket, Patton saw there were small darts in it oozing a dark black liquid. The parts of the board they touched were dissolving, the grass under the new holes beginning to wilt rapidly.

Logan seemed to notice the oozing liquid the same moment Patton did and was quicker to realize what it was. He grabbed Patton’s arm and yanked him away from the board so hard he almost dislocated Patton’s shoulder, not that Patton was too worried about that. He scrambled away from it when he realized what it must be himself.

He could hear the sound of glassware smashing above them. Logan and Patton had rolled off the blanket in their quest to get away from the smoldering, melting board and apparently Virgil had pulled the picnic blanket fully over the king at some point.

Virgil himself was now gone from where he’d been the last time Patton had looked and it took him a moment to figure out where the boy had gone. The person who had been shooting poisoned darts at them had been drawn out of the wooded area they’d been hiding in by Virgil’s attacks.

They were cloaked in dark green from head to toe, explaining why they’d been difficult to spot when they were in the woods. Whoever they were, they were significantly larger than Virgil, possibly an actual adult or almost adult assassin, but they were also clearly a long distant fighter. They had not been expecting resistance let alone resistance in the form of a so quick he was almost a blur fellow assassin.

They had a bow strapped to their back, but they hadn’t had a chance to get it. Instead, they were trying to fight Virgil off with an arrow they’d managed to draw from their quiver. Virgil, meanwhile was lunging at them with a broken piece of plate in one hand and the picnic basket in the other.

Virgil dodged out of the way of the arrow striking towards his arm, though Patton didn’t think it was because he was afraid of getting scratched by an arrow, but because it may also be poisoned tipped.

Virgil was distracted by dodging for long enough that the older assassin managed to hit him in the face with the arm not holding the arrow.

He went down, but he took the older assassin with him, sweeping their legs out from under them. Patton hadn’t noticed (his mind working too slow for how fast they were moving) but they were on a slight incline. They went rolling in a tangle of arms and legs towards the edge of the cliff and skidded to a stop only a few feet away.

Virgil ended up on top, his piece of broken plate in his hands. He moved to slash it across the other assassin’s throat and managed to draw blood, but the assassin’s fist came out to shove at Virgil’s chest at just the right moment, causing the strike to veer off course and slice across the assassin’s cheek instead.

Virgil jerked to the side to avoid a second strike to the chest and went back for another slash. The other assassin rolled to the side as he did and the plate only managed to nick their ear. The point of the motion hadn’t been to dodge, however. They were lunging for the arrow they’d dropped a few feet away while they’d rolled. They grabbed it with their right hand and in the same motion stabbed back behind them towards Virgil.

Virgil rolled to avoid the hit, already slashing up with his plate as the assassin turned back towards him.

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He didn’t hit them this time but his swipe managed to stop them from stabbing him when they tried again. They shoved themselves back to avoid Virgil’s swing, putting a bit of distance between them. Both of them managed to make it to their feet during the momentary reprieve, but both also stayed crouched, eyeing each other.

They both lunged towards each other at the same time. The assassin went for a stab to Virgil’s neck with the arrow, but Virgil was already ducking down. This time, he wasn’t going for a kill shot. He grabbed the assassin’s wrist and at the same time drove his piece of plate into the assassin’s arm, slicing down from the elbow to wrist. The assassin spoke for the first time, cursing in a language Patton didn’t recognize as they were forced to drop their arrow.

Virgil took a moment to kick the arrow away from the assassin and it ended up falling off the cliff.

However, this pause gave the assassin enough time to regroup. Despite their arm bleeding profusely, they still decided to use it to backhand Virgil across the face viciously, leaving a long line of their own blood across his face.

Virgil lunged back forward, but the assassin was able to get a leg between them, kicking Virgil squarely in the chest and sending him flying back a few feet parallel to the cliff’s edge.

The assassin went to grab their bow and another arrow from the quiver still strapped to their shoulder.

Virgil, however, apparently went for another weapon too and he was much faster with a knife than any archer. A knife appeared in his hand, having been strapped to his ankle and was embedded into the assassin’s chest before they could even full remove an arrow from their quiver.

The assassin promptly burst into flames, fire catching their clothes (and from the smell of it their skin) ablaze. Panicked and dying, they stumbled two steps to the side. They stepped directly off the cliff.

There was a second of silence. They heard the sound of the body hitting the ground far below and then the flap of wings and screeching as birds below fled from the startling sound (and possible soon to be forest fire).

…

“Uh, Virgil?” King Thomas said. He had managed to get the blanket off his head at some point. When, Patton didn’t know, but seeing any of it was probably enough.

Oopsie.

Chapter 59 (Logan)

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced back briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poisoned darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

[hypnofantasma-asks-and-doodles]

How ""outdated"" (in terms of story/canon events) is each stars below part as of now?/genq /lh

SO THERE'S BEEN A TOOOOOOOOON OF REWRITING FOR STARS BELOW IN GENERAL but i'll give a light overview of just HOW changed skme things are

Perennial Crisis is outdated mainly designs-wise. Arthur for example is no longer just Dog Guy and he's now a genuine, bipedal, crocodile-werewolf-guy. the events are preeetty solid still, though Madeline is quite different now. 6/10

Ulterior Spectacle is all kinds of fuck. literally EVERYTHING is outdated as hell and Wrong. 0/10

Patchwork Guardian is different now because Benjamin got a complete character overhaul. the events are still sorta the same though, with Insinera burning down the city during a battle. 7/10

Cognition Factory is still accurate, with- again- designs being vastly updated. 7/10

Arbitrary Sermon is outdated because it lacks direct Charlotte involvement and we removed a certain. Erm. horrible Alatori iteration. other than that, accurate! 6/10.

Hungry is 10/10 accurate because it's more of a character study than anything

Sleeping with the Fishes is also 10/10 because that was made with the rewrites in mind

Macguffin in the Limelight's a weird one, same boat as Hungry, but with some variations with WHEN it all happens. 8/10

TLDR it's all a big fuck of a mess and i CANNOT WAIT to be able to actually explain things without hiding behind spoilers and rewrites and stuff. at the moment, they're all like teeny tiny windows into the true story imo

[kaceythecrunch]

・┆Night. ☾ M.S┆ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFF. FLUFFFFFFFFFFFF

Summary : you and Matt doing your nightly routine!

W/C : 1.2k+

Y/N'S POV :

9:30 

Currently, spinning around on my boyfriend’s gaming chair. As I sit upon his chair, I'm scrolling through edits of Matt, per usual. Until I was interrupted by his faint breathing on my shoulder.

“AAH. WHAT THE FUCK.” I yell, frantically closing tiktok. He looks at me, then my phone, then back to me. I could tell he was slightly concerned. “You’re such a weirdo for watching edits of me. I mean the editors are pretty talented. They also help me, Nick and Chris–” 

I laugh as he continues on his yapping.  Usually, I don't interrupt him when he's yapping because I know he doesn’t get to run his mouth sometimes. “Alright Mr.Yapper, ya’ ready to go to bed??” he closed his eyes. I could tell he was tired.  

“Can you help me, I'm too tired.” he says in a sleepy voice. “You want me to do your skincare for you??” He usually doesn’t like when I do stuff for him because apparently, “I apply it wrong.” He nods. 

I get up from his chair, holding his hands as I drag him to our bathroom. I sit on the counter and start reaching for the skin care. “Wait. Before that. Can you shave my beard for me? I'm tired of beard-Matt right now.” I laugh at his statement. “No more big beard bernard.” I say, as I make fun of him. I glide my fingers on his tattoos as he looks at me unamused. 

I grab one of my headbands and put it around Matt. Of course, I picked the best one I have. The one with kitty cat ears. “What the fuck is this shit.” he looks in the mirror disgusted. “It's just a headband.” I say, looking at him. “It looks so distorted..Why not pick a normal one.” he asks. “You look cute in it, shut up.”

“OKAY. Now, lemme start.” I grab the shaving cream and squirt it all on my hands. I turn to Matt as he is leaning on the sink. Propping himself up with his hands. I bring the shaving cream to his cheeks and glide my fingers on his face. Making sure everything gets covered. I laugh at him as he is scrunching his face. 

I grab the razor and gently shave off his beard. His face scrunches even more. “Hey, stop moving Matt! I don’t wanna cut you!” He opens his eyes slightly, not wanting to move his mouth. Even if he was only opening his eyes, I could easily tell what he was trying to say. 

10:23

It took almost 20 minutes, but voila. Matt makes a frowny face. “HEY! I did the job, right? Plus,  your beard is fully shaved off like you asked. Don’t make that face at me!! I literally did you a favor.” I say, as I pinch his cheek softly. “I know, I know, I'm just messing with you.” he says, smiling. “Tonight, just moisturizer and cleanser. If you want, we could do a face mask too.”

I look at him smiling. “It makes me so happy that you know what skincare is and how to do it. You know, I think we should try the charcoal mask since you just shaved.” He looks at me concerned. “Yeah, no way. I'm not gonna fucking do that shit.” I plead, “But like, there's so many benefits!” I tell him, as I rub the moisturizer on his face. “Like what. Bringing me excruciating pain? Yeah, I’ll pass.” 

10:45

I wash both of our faces and start to apply cleaner on the both of us. “Okay, I’ll give you a nickel if you do the mask.” I try to bargain. “Dude, what the fuck am I gonna do with a nickel? Play heads or tails?” He says unamused. “Okay calm down lover-boy. Chill with the mattitude.” I say, laughing at him. “Bro….” I jokingly mock him. “Bro…” I start to rub the moisturizer on his face. “Okay,” he says, I smile knowing he finally gave in. “I’ll try the mask. Under one condition though.” I slightly frowned as I stopped rubbing in the cleanser.

“You’re such a kid for that. Why is there a condition?” I roll my eyes at him. “YOU WANT ME TO BE IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN. IT'S ONLY FAIR.” I frown. “Fineeee what's my punishment..” “Can you please do the chores that Chris is supposed to do, that I DO.” I look at him, slightly annoyed. But, I agree.

11:17

I rub the cleanser off of mine, and his face. I then reach for the cup and the spatula. “Okay Matt, are you ready?” He shakes his head no. “Well you did agree to this.” I open the container and glide the spread on his face with the spatula. “I think it's stupid how we’re using a spatula. This isn’t spongebob.” I laugh, “who is your favorite spongebob character?” I think for a moment, still making sure the charcoal evens out on his face. “Low-key, I fuck with sandy. She’s a bad bitch.” He laughs, “For me, I think I like spongebob. I heavily fuck with the popsicle.” 

11:30

We finish applying the charcoal mask on both of our faces. “Is it done?” He looks slightly nervous, bouncing his foot up and down. “Almost, give it I don't know, 5 more minutes? I’m pretty sure that this is supposed to stay for about 20 minutes.” 

11:37

I turn to Matt, “I believe it's done. Do you wanna rip mine off first?” I give him an option. “YES.” He says. He rests one of his hands on my shoulders pressing down on it, so he could pull harder on the mask with the other. He grabs the mask on the side of my cheek attempting to rip it off in one slick movement. Which doesn't go according to plan. “OUCH WHAT THE FUCK-” he looks at me. “No no, trust me. This is all pure strategy.” My face is scrunched up as he only got one of my cheeks free. He then switches hands and tries to pull off the other side of the face mask. Of course, the whole thing did not come off in one tug. “FUCKING HELL MATT, OUCH.” he looks at me confused. “I thought that the harder I tug the faster I get it off?” 

12:40

This took quite a while But specifically the mask came off. There were some pieces that weren’t pulled off, but that's a problem for another time. I look at Matt with a devious look. “It's my turn!” I look at him and smile. Without warning I pull at the very top, his forehead and tug. This time, it did all come off in one simple gesture. “FUCK” Matt yells. My jaw dropped. “Okay, the case is closed. You just put the mask wrong on me, clearly.”  Matt laughs, “Whatever. It was hard to apply. I'm never doing that again though. My cheeks are so red, holy shit.” He places his hands on his cheeks. “Are yours also warm?” He places his hands on my cheek. “Damn.” I look at him, pretty tired. “I love you.” I put my hands on his cheeks and give him a kiss. He pulls out. “I love you too” as he smiles back at me

A/N : Hey, seems like you made it to the end! I'm a new writer lol so if you enjoyed this, you should totally yk flood my inbox w/ ideas! Also I hope this is good cuz I'm a Chris girl..I was just, feeling it. ykwim. Also, If yall wanna be on taglist just commenttt. anyways, thank you!

Taglist :

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 29. karma's a bitch

chapter tags/warnings: manipulative! naoya. naoya's anger issues continue. infidelity/adultery. extremely strong language. corruption. mentions of physical violence. family drama.

word count: 3.2k

notes: my sixty-hour work weeks have been taking a huge toll on me, so i apologize for this incredibly slow update. the good news is that i cannot take this corporate america bullshit anymore and will resign in the next two months. thank you for being patient! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

Naoya had never felt this humiliated in his entire life.

When people said karma was a bitch, he never thought that it would actually make its way back to him. While he was not the most righteous person in the world, he was the Zenin CEO, for god’s sake! He was the leader to a multi-billion dollar conglomerate, the heir of a centuries-old bloodline. 

Yet, here he was, charging back to his apartment like an irate animal.

He startled the lobby doormen upon his loud entry, and once he returned to his penthouse, he had to will every muscle in his body not to tear apart his abode in a rampage.

In his head, his encounter with Toji looped like a broken record, fueling his chagrin.

When Naoya sought to confront his cousin for the first time in months, he thought he had been prepared. He did not expect to end up digging himself into a deep hole surpassing the world's layers due to a judgment error—a slight miscalculation. 

Correction: this miscalculation was anything but 'slight' because he wildly underestimated what felt like everything. Now, he bore the consequences of his mistakes after inadvertently turning himself into a laughingstock. Because his ego was his hamartia, he had become a mere jester in a story where he was meant to be the sole hero, and thus his ill feelings burned hotter than the surface of the Sun.

As much as he hated to admit this, Naoya had been shortsighted. He should have known better. Just weeks ago, he saw a vision filled with saccharine promises of a happy, comfortable life as the most powerful man in Japan imbued with power and wealth. He had been confident—a hundred percent certain—that absolutely nothing could go wrong in the trajectory he worked hard to create. But, what the actual fuck just happened at the therapist's office?!

He did not expect his mistress to make a complete fool out of him. Her very existence was an anathema to him, and he hoped to never be in contact with that woman ever again. In hindsight, Naoya should have taken the hint a while ago. He had previously forgiven his cousin's ex-wife, dismissing her blissful but intentional ignorance. Mari had never been too keen on actual intellectual and corporate matters, for she took far more interest in the money and comfort that came with starting from the bottom and sleeping her way to the top. Despite that, Naoya trusted that she at least had half the mind to not publicly discuss their affair, only for him to be proven wrong in front of none other than...Toji Fushiguro.

"Fuck!" Naoya screamed into the void of his empty living room. His reality was a nightmare as he thought about his despised cousin again—the assured gleam in his viridescent eyes, the smug smirk that tugged across his lips. The imagery soured his mood beyond measure. "I'm going to fucking—"

He did not finish his sentence.

Instead, he kicked a nearby lamp in an angry bout, toppling the fixture over and sending tiny shards cascading across the floor accompanied by the dull thud of the shade. Whatever. His housekeeper tomorrow morning would come in and clean that. 

What he instead focused on was how he had never been this infuriated, this belittled, this undignified.

The entire apartment echoed with Naoya's loud huff.

'About ‘your wife’ or whatever you want to deem her, there is not a single chance in hell that she’d ever think about calling you her husband anymore.' These words from Toji affected him more than he would have liked.

What did he mean?

That bastard is bluffing, the blonde had to tell himself, yet even he could not believe in his own consolation.

He needed to do something about this. 

No, no, Naoya wasn’t scared.

He couldn’t possibly be, right?!

Yet, after he could feel his ears begin to cool and breathing start to re-regulate, he stared at the emptiness in his halls as he came to the realization that had no better choice but to talk to you.

You didn't want to be here.

The moment you read Naoya Zenin's text to meet up for a 'quick chat' at the café near his office, you already knew that the upcoming conversation was going to be anything but 'quick.' The last thing you wished to do was to be in the same vicinity as that very man again.

After spending the last few days at your family residence, you had been showered with warm attention from aunts, uncles, cousins, and even house attendants who—despite naturally wondering the reason behind your stay—welcomed your visit with open arms. To your relatives' many inquiries, you forged a pretense that all was well even if all was not. (Besides, all did seem well in your family estate, away from the incessant pandemonium that was the Tokyo city center.)

While you knew that this peaceful break was not meant to last forever, you did not anticipate returning to the capital just to sit with the Zenin CEO alone.

Naoya had specifically chosen a corner table in the Hong Kong-inspired establishment, distanced from potential eavesdroppers. He seemed to have been waiting for a while by the time you arrived, his right leg crossed over his left knee as he twiddled with his thumbs impatiently. Sprawled on the table were a freshly brewed pot of jasmine tea and a platter of warm custard pastries.

He remained quiet as you took the seat across from him, observing with a crease on his forehead and a knit to his brows.

Anyone could tell that the blonde was not the least bit happy.

"Giving me dirty looks is not going to get this conversation anywhere," you pointed out while helping yourself to a tart.

From your comment, the inverted slope on Naoya's lips twisted into a deeper frown. 

He did not understand where your annoyance came from. 

Fine, he never treated you nicely either, but he did not expect you to snap at him when the discussion had hardly begun. You offered him no greetings, and Naoya also took great offense at how you chose not to look at him as you talked.

Truth be told, your neglect reminded him of all the other upsetting things that he was dying to bring up, and your unpleasant attitude whittled away the little restraint he had left.

“You didn’t try to ask where I’ve been. Not one text or call. Guess it would not have mattered to you if I disappeared, huh?" he lashed out through gritted teeth. He hated being forgotten, hated being looked over, and hated how easy it was for him to prove you to be a neglectful and apathetic wife.

Which was why there was no better option than to cut him off.

“You ordered me to leave you alone, Naoya.” Only slightly did you turn your head to glance at him. Stirring sugar into your tea, you kept your attention otherwise on the nearby window and watched businesspeople scurrying about on the streets on their lunch breaks. "You can live without my attention since I'm not the only woman you have around. What happened to your lady friend? Hasn't she been entertaining you long before our marriage? I am sure she would love your company, so why not pay her an impromptu visit?”

From a slanting angle, you could tell that the transformation from your normally calm demeanor dismayed him. Naoya, not you, was typically the one to make snide comebacks, but he could not deny your latest comments. Evidently, he wanted you to go back to your submissive and passive self, but that was precisely what you no longer could be for him.

His silence prompted you to reach into your purse and retrieve a thick manila envelope, and you presented the package on the table.

Naoya's gaze snapped to the parcel. 

He was curious, but cautiously so. He had invited you here, expecting to control the narrative, to dictate the terms. As a result, your unexpected move threw him off balance. 

"What...?"

“Take a look and find out for yourself.”

A puzzled Naoya demonstrated no hesitation.

He snatched the folder, tearing the top open and greedily grabbing the curated pieces inside. He stared for a long time at the first item: a photo. But he recognized the image of him and his mistress, boarding a private jet for their most recent trip to Mexico. Then, he flipped through the stack rapidly, barely registering each item before he turned to the next. Some were printed-out pictures and others were cutouts from news articles, but all featured him and his paramour. The confusion on Naoya's visage slowly morphed into aggravation, and when he finished his inspection, he forcefully threw the items back onto the table.

In the end, Naoya sat back and went still, not even blinking, thinking, or doing anything but pressing his tongue along his inner cheek. "How did you get these?"

No apologies. No remorse.

Hell, based on his response, the man could not even bother to deny your accusations, a telling sign of how little he could care for his relationship with you. Obviously, you must be a joke to him.

In one firm motion, you placed down your teacup.

"You're missing the point.”

While one's eyes may be the windows to the soul, Naoya's offered nothing in his current state. His pupils looked at—no, examined you in intense dark pools despite the iridescent glow from the lights above.

"Toji gave you these, didn't he?" Naoya continued with a disdainful laugh, himself insistent on getting answers to his own questions. "You can't find this shit on the internet anymore since I've had them all taken down. But Toji's fast. He has eyes everywhere, I know he does. Look at him. Months later, and he's still hung up on reclaiming a position he should've never had the right to in the first place!"

Thankfully, you didn’t flinch from his loud voice. What you did do was become more indifferent as if you were placing a wall to separate yourself from him, mentally bracing for his emotional maelstrom.

"You are missing the point," you said once more. This time, you shook your head in disappointment, and your tone was far more frustrated than the last. "Aren't you shameless?”

"Me? Shameless?!” His brows pinched closer from fury. "Take a look at yourself, woman! What did you do to get all this dirt from Toji and his henchmen, hm? Ha! Know what? I bet it’s because you're so willing to spread yourself for them,” he rambled with a nasty sneer plastered on his expression. At his comments, your jaw fell open before snapping shut as the meaning behind his words sank in. The way this man disregarded how he had an affair (that began many months ago!) only to redirect the spotlight onto you was repulsing, implying that the sole reason the therapists talked to you was that you had slept around. “A whore like you love taking all them all, don’t you? Well? Well? Am I right? Goddamn, you’re such a—”

The harsh scraping from your chair as you stood was what finally interrupted him. Unable to tolerate his vilification, you counteracted his anger with the venom in your rancorous glare. 

"How dare you talk about me like that!”

In the meantime, prying eyes started to turn in your direction from the commotion: teenage girls, sharing nervous glances across their table; a lone businessman, stopping mid-sip from his cappuccino; even the barista, pausing mid-grind such that her arm froze inches from the hopper.

"That man...doesn't he seem familiar?" a distant voice asked.

"Is he a celebrity or something?"

"No, wait. He's the person on the cover of last month's Fortune magazine. Naoya Zenin!" another replied.

"Isn't that lady his wife?"

While the onlookers' curious glances turned into full-on stares, their regard steeled your resolve rather than bothered you. Instead, you wanted the crowd to take in the spectacle. Corrupt tricks and dirty money had long painted the Zenin heir as 'the most perfect man in Japan,' and the public deserved to understand the fraudulence and cruelty that underlaid his facade.

"For months, I trusted you. I respected you. I put aside the harrowing loneliness weighing on my heart all because I tried to understand you. You told me that finding the time or energy for our marriage was not easy because board meetings kept you late in the office or business meetings required you to spend several nights abroad. Fine! So, I had been patient. But," and your voice overflowed from anger as you pointed a shaking finger at the pictures on the table, "Taking another woman to Michelin restaurants for dinners? Spending nights with her at Ritz-Carltons and Four Seasons? Going on entire vacations with her across the Pacific? All while you had a wife at home? Are you out of your fucking mind ?!" 

The man's nose flared with deep-seated rage, his eyes mirroring the same bitterness in yours. "At the end of the day," he began sternly, "we're still married."

Ridiculous.

“On paper, ” you had to clarify. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be cheating on me with your older cousin's ex-wife."

Immediately, louder murmurs rippled through the crowd. Naoya turned stiff, uncomfortable with the attention. So much for selecting a quiet corner in the café. He wasn’t stupid enough to sense that he had to be careful. Saying one wrong phrase would condemn him to a public meltdown. 

However, you were already steps ahead of him when you loudly declared: “I’m filing for a divorce.” 

That caught him off guard.

Your announcement even drew audible astonishment from bystanders as they stopped their meals, turning to each other and drawing out their phones.

In literal milliseconds, the vexation once riddling Naoya's demeanor shifted into denial.

“No. We’re not going to talk about a fucking divorce right now. We’re going to fix what we have, and you’re going to come back to me. We’re...We're married for a reason, and we’re going to keep with it!”

"That's a bullshit reason,” you had to snap. “Listen to yourself. Do you hear how selfish you sound!?" At this point, nothing could hide your bafflement. "Naoya, you were the one who said that if I wanted to leave this marriage badly, then I should leave. Ask Mai and Maki! They heard the entire conversation. Didn't you also say that you didn't give a fuck anymore?"

The man attempted to salvage some semblance of control. "I was just joking!"

"No, you were not." Picking up a photo of Naoya and Mari together, you pressed the picture to his face. “How much more can I take? How many days would I still have to go through alone in the penthouse, all because you would be spending your sweet time with the woman that you love?”

Unloading all this emotional baggage, not only for Naoya Zenin but also for the café spectators to hear, took courage. Previously, you would have let the burden gnaw at your soul. You would have rather wallowed in suffering rather than even think about speaking up.

But the past was the past, and you had grown immensely since then. Currently, you were stronger, more confident. You knew that, in Toji's words, you deserved better. Life was too beautiful to waste on a man who did not love or respect you and, with that in mind, you relaxed your clenched fists with an exhausted and fatigued sigh. 

You broke me first, you said through a deserted gaze. 

Naoya Zenin was the reason why you had become the way you were: a cold, seemingly heartless wife who cared none for her husband. The misery that he placed on your shoulders finally reached its limit, and while you could forgive, forgetting the memories in your scarred heart would be a task over months, years, and even a lifetime. 

“Listen,” you began, tone terse, “this divorce will set you free. Mari is the person whom you need—”

“The hell. No!” the man interrupted in a violent outburst, taking your breath away as he slammed the table and hissed. “I don't give a damn about her right now! We’re…We’re over!" he snarled with incredible anger such that he almost appeared to growl. "I don’t need her, I need you! That...That whore doesn't give a flying fuck about my shit! All she cares about is...is...Fuck this. All she wants is the money. Why else do you think she married and then later divorced Toji? She doesn't want to hear about all the shit in my family because she had not been brought up to deal with all the fuckin' drama in my household. She can't understand because, unlike you, she wasn't born with a silver spoon shoved down her goddamn throat!"

Quietly, you absorbed his words, stunned.

So this was how their relationship had been.

You had not expected him to reveal all these entrenched feelings willingly, but his concoction between reckless rage and sheer desperation had allowed him to spill the ugly side of this extramarital affair. Naoya could not afford to lose you, and not just because this marriage solidified the respect of those around him. While Mari offered him an outlet for physical indulgence, only you could offer the cornerstone to Naoya's mental and social fortitude.

“So you ‘need’ me now, but what happens when you find another reason to hate me again? What will you do if you don’t think I can fulfill the role you want me to have as your partner? Or if you wake up one day and suddenly want your cousin’s ex-wife again? Or if you meet another woman? Am I supposed to stand there again, and watch this all happen?" 

No answer.

The fact that he couldn't respond hurt.

"My decision is final. Looking back, I despised every single second married to you. In fact, I feel sorry for myself. The fact that I blindly put up with your manipulation, betrayal, and blame for all these months.” With your belongings collected, you prepared to leave. “You would be stupid to think you're the only one with options, you know.”

Only when you turned around did Naoya react, scrambling to his feet.

“What the fuck are you—”

In any other situation, he would have grabbed you, lunged at you, did everything in his power to stop you from going. Yet, given all the witnesses, all he could do was call you back like a helpless child, trying his best to not escalate the scene (although, at this point, even passerbys outside have stopped by the window to spectate).

"Hey!" Naoya called after you. “Hey! I’m still talking with you!”

Pathetic, really, to see him desperately beg for you to stay in his life.

There was a certain satisfaction in finally having the control at your fingertips. The feeling was empowering—electrifying, even—and you became so focused on the gratification that you barely registered Naoya's last question.

“Where are you going?”

At this point, you already stood by the exit.

“That’s not something that my soon-to-be ex-husband would need to know,” and you hardly gave him another glance as the door closed behind you. “Thank you for showing me everything I hope to never find in another man again."

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: Part of why this update took so long was because I wanted to have an encounter between Naoya and Y/N to showcase Y/N’s development, from someone who thoughtlessly defended her husband to someone who could stand up for herself (all while alone!). I envisioned this interaction many times, and I thought about different ways to approach the scene, the delivery, the dialogue, the choreography, etc. It took me a while to go for what I currently have. Thank you for reading!

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[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - August

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 29.08.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

gif-requests are currently closed🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in August with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 4 Minutes 🇹🇭 (4/8)

Okay. I catched up. I wasn't in the mood for this series, but now I am a little bit hooked. We have a really cute couple here with a really nice love-making-scene. We have a totally messed up relationship of three people, two love each other, two hurt the other one and two are horny for one with very graphic scenes. And yes, I saw it too. Oh, the story itself? Confusing, yet interesting.

2. Cityboy_Log 4.2 🇰🇷 (17/23)

This week was... okayish. They were mostly bonding at a group and doing stuff together. Nothing really happend. They played games, the trouple was cute and JJ tried to act, but really, those moments were more cringe than anything else...

3. First Note of Love 🇹🇼 (4/12)

The looks they gave each other! The constant bickering! The compliments! The necklace as a gift! I see you! I like them. They get more comfortable together and are now forming a band. Hopefully Sea can help Neil getting back on stage without fainting or having a panic attack. I am curious how this whole series will move on, but I am intrigued. But what is that age gap?

4. Hidamari ga Kikoeru 🇯🇵 (10/12)

🥲 I'm fine... the only thing that helped me in the end was the preview for next week. How could he listen to Maya? How? I know why, but still... why? And now Taichi thinks he was just a replacable someone who doesn't mean anything to Kohei 😭 I really don't like it here! And I hope Maya chokes on her words! I don't care that she's going to cry next episode. Right now I still don't like her. Boys! Get your shit together and talk to each other! Please!

5. I Saw You In My Dream 🇹🇭 (7/12)

THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS SO DAMN CUTE!!!!! I like them! And Yu finally collecting his courage to tell Ai, he likes him. I need Ai to tell him he likes him too! But the preview for next week! I can't wait! The best start in my vacation! Do I feel bad for Wann? No, not really. He saw the signs, he got the vibe between Yu and Ai, but he still tried. I guess he is a good guy, but he is not Yu.

6. Seoul Blues 🇰🇷 (3/8)

Well... Our bad boy got together with their mutual friend. Little Mr. Angsty likes our bad boy, but is to afraid what might change, so he didn't take his change when bad boy confessed to him. And of course he now is unsure about bad boy's feelings. And our lady in denial knows that her bad boy doesn't like he like that and I guess she can feel those two are very much into each other, but she still wanna try it and give it a shot. Well... good luck. And while she is thinking about her bad boy thinking about someone else while kissing her, her bad boy is now kissing little Mr. Angsty. I don't know how this friendship can be fixed. There is so much wrong with their entire realtion-/friendship... and I love it!

7. Takara no Vidro 🇯🇵 (9/11)

I started with mixed feelings about this series and I ended up totally loving it! I enjoy this series very much! They talk with each other and they understand each other. They have such a good relationship at this point and I love how Takara is opening up and questioning his plans for the future. Life is unpredictable, love is unpredictable and there can be people who change your plans for the better or worst, but that is something for other shows.

8. The On1y One 🇹🇼 (4/12)

Best chemistry! I love them! I love pounting Wang and this absolutely smitten boy Tian so much! Tian was everything this episode. He couldn't stop looking at Wang and couldn't stop smiling. He is already in love. And Wang uses Tian for learning, but he is slowly falling. And I hope it will be this: he fell first, but he fell harder! Good series!

9. The Trainee 🇹🇭 (8/12)

This was one of the cutest episodes ever and at the same time one of the saddest with the most wholesome break-up ever. Ba-Mhee did something wrong, she apologised and Tae realised that he is part of the problem. I am cusious how they work around this whole story. But Jane and Ryan. Oh the cuteness! I loved every scene with them. And I loved that Jane was jealous and Ryan reassured him. I am a little bit anxious about next week. Guess this was my favorite episode so far!

10. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu. I haven't felt like watching this lately. I wasn't in the right mood.

Finished in August

Series

His Man Season 3 🇰🇷

What was that? I enjoyed the first two seasons so much! And this one felt very manipulated by the production. The secret missions were just there to cause drama and misunderstandings. And othe rparts really felt just boring. I was not really invested in the couples this time. I wish we would have seen more of their friendships. Perhaps that was because the fight between JY and MK was so centred. In the end I am happy MS and MK made it and became a couple. And it is nice that SM and JS got together too. But who thought it was a good idea to keep that "break-up" between YJ and HM in the show? That was just awful to watch! I never saw them vibing together, but a short notice that they decided to stay friends would have been enough. I don't have to see that Hanmin gave the ring back, they made together. I get where he is coming from, but I wish they could have talked about this in private! There were some bad coices of the production which was not favourable for the show! If there is a season 4 I hope it stays away from artificial drama! Just a 7 out of 10 for me.

Century of Love 🇹🇭

We got a happy ending. Hm. Great. I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have mind if San had died. It was a little bit too constructed with the little piece of that stone in the end and the change of heart from the fake Vad... So I am a little bit dissappointed with the ending. Yes, I cried, because I have feelings, but at some points I had to skip parts because there were just too many emotions that clashed in my face. But I am happy for San and Vee. Overall a good 8 out of 10.

Bad Guy 🇰🇷

Honestly? I like cheating stories when my couple wins. In conclusion, I liked this short series. I am curious if we get a second part like with Blue Boys. I would be happy if we could just end it here. The two sad boys finally got their happy ending and can now be enough for each other. I like that. Wish we could see a little bit of their everyday life or how this decision impacts their lifes. I liked it. I give it a 8 out of 10.

Cosmic Playlover 🇯🇵

I enjoyed the show. It felt a little bit rushed, but over all, I enjoyed the plot and the love story. Two men working in the beauty industry and both go their own way and just loving what they do. That was also really good to see! I especially enjoyed the dynamic between these two. And they talked! Sure there was drama, but in the end they talkes to each other and listened to each other and could solve their problems. Such a nice little show. I give it good 8,5 out of 10.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in August

My Love Mix-Up! 🇹🇭

I guess I've dropped this one. I don't know why exactly. I think it was a cute story and I liked watching it, but right now I don't have the energy to keep going. I will come back to this one when it is finished and when I am in the mood for some fluff.

Looking forward to in August

The Last Time - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Loyal Pin - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Sugar Dog Life - Trailer (Aug 4th)

Summer Night - Trailer (Aug 5th)

Cosmetic Playlover (Aug 6th)

Monster Next Door - Trailer (Aug 8th)

First Note Of Love - Trailer (Aug 12th)

Addicted Heroin - Trailer (Aug 13th)

Love Beneathe The Stars - Trailer (Aug 16th)

The Paradise Of Thornes - Trailer (Aug 22nd - Thai Cinemas)

The On1y One (Aug 22nd)

Affair - Trailer (Aug 30th)

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride!!

Fem MXY WWX pls!!!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41

They're back to riding, only a couple hours away from Jin Tower, and Wei Wuxian is happy to be off his feet, but he can't even focus on that.

He's too busy feeling desperately sad for Mo Xuanyu.

She lived as a pauper in a family that despised her, had a father that ignored her, was so lonely that she named her sword Friend, and killed herself rather than marry Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan would have been nice to her. It took him a while to warm up, but he's trying now, to do his duty as a proper husband. Which is inconvenient for Wei Wuxian, but probably would have meant the world to Mo Xuanyu.

She didn't have to die. If she'd been able to hold onto hope for just a few more days, instead of giving in to revenge and despair, then she could have lived out her life out from underneath the thumb of other people.

"Are you okay?"

He startles out of his thoughts, looking up to see Sizhui has pulled his mare up beside his and is peering at him in concern.

He forces a smile, because he's put Sizhui through enough today, and he's a good boy that doesn't deserve to be involved in any of this. The worst part about dying again is going to be leaving behind Sizhui. He's such a sweet boy who loves him so easily and he just knows that it's going to break his heart when either the cultivation or the curse mark has run its course. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just thinking."

Sizhui looks unconvinced, but nods before looking up towards the front of the procession, where Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan are talking about something while Jin Guangyao pretends to be interested. He reaches into his sleeve. "I found some of these in town when I went looking for you."

He pulls out a small bag of the sweet, spicy pepper candy that Wei Wuxian likes so much and hold it out.

"You're the best!" he says, taking the bag and also pausing to squeeze his arm in thanks, only not pulling him into a hug because he's not sure how tolerant the horses will be about it.

The food in Cloud Recesses is ass and he can't cover everything with chilli oil because the only person he'd met who liked food as spicy as he did was - well, no one. So having Mo Xuanyu like spicy food had seemed like edging a little too close to obvious.

He'd been so happy when Sizhui had brought pepper candy back for him for the first time and had sworn him to secrecy to how how much he loved them.

Wei Wuxian pops one of the candies in his mouth, sucking on it to more quickly get to the firey pops of pepper, which is his favorite.

There's about five seconds of deliciousness and then his stomach rolls with nausea. He tightens his grip, trying to ride it out, but the taste of the candy he loved turns sour and he's seriously worried he's going to hurl, which Lan Zhan would never let him hear the end of.

He spits the candy out onto the ground, rubbing at his mouth.

"Lady Xuanyu?" Sizhui asks startled. "Is - sorry, did I get the wrong one?"

"No, no, it's perfect," he assures, internally sighing in relief as his stomach starts to settle. "I guess I shouldn't eat them on an empty stomach! It ruins the flavor. Who knew?"

He's eaten them on an empty stomach a dozen times before and never had an issue.

"Okay," Sizhui says slowly. 'Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, Sizhui, don't worry," he says, and means it, even though he sort of wants to cry.

The pepper candies were one of the only things he could get his hands on that he enjoyed eating, and now even that's gone?

At least the Jin go all out on the banquets.

[onmyyan]

Okay so there's this specific genre of fics about the Yandere batfamily x neglected!Reader that I'm obsessing over and basically, reader joins the family unexpectedly, usually a long lost kid from an old fling of Bruce's, and it's wonderfully angsty as the batfamily is so caught up in their own shit they inadvertently ignore/neglect the reader, the isolation is bad because they don't show her their vigilante life, so she's just sees it as some secret family club she isn't good enough to be in, they're always together and talking in hushed whispers about their patrol's, it's hard not to feel like an outsider, the tension is high throughout the years as she sees them act so lovingly towards each other but so indifferent towards her, and then something happens, (reader gets hurt, tries to run away, is kidnapped ECT) and then the batfam's yandere tendencies kick into high gear and they try to fix their severely damaged relationship, lawd I love this concept so much if I write it I'll be tagging the works that inspired me bec everyone should read them omg, anyway I love how jarring it must be once that switch happens, how all of a sudden reader is getting the attention and love she wanted for years, only now she doesn't need it, she's a grown independent woman who's only ever had herself to rely on, after all when you grow up in the shade of such a tight knit family, always on the outside looking in, it tends to make you self sufficient.

I have a few ideas for this concept, one where reader is incredibly smart and after years of fighting for an ounce of affection, gives up on the Batfamily, gets an internship at Lexcorp because Lex recognized her brilliance, he becomes a Yandere for her shortly after reading over her file, because the thought of Yandere!batfam begging for readers attention and affection after years of indifference towards her only to have her seek comfort in a villainous man like Lex Luthor is tew tasty.

My other idea for this concept is the same set up only Reader notices what the family is up to, quickly putting together that her father is Batman and that everyone in the house is a vigilante, she's 17/18 at this point and still desperate to belong to this family so she starts training, going to local gyms and picking fights so she can get used to getting the shit kicked out of her, no one notices her absences, no one but Alfred, he catches her limping in at some ungodly hour, blood seeping through her shirt, a needle and thread in one hand as she clumsily tries to stitch herself up, he asks her what happened, not expecting the most demure and quiet member of the family in this state, she tells him in an empty voice, "Doesn't matter." And Alfred is taken aback by the coldness in her eyes. He of course reports this to Bruce after patching her up, and he shrugs it off, "If she was in some kind of trouble she'd say something." Bruce is certain, sure he hadn't yet truly bonded with his daughter but he was sure he had time to, after all he was a man with the world on his shoulders and a plethora of other people who he felt needed his attention more, (y/n) never gave him problems, she kept to herself and was so self sufficient he felt comfortable putting her on the back burner, years go by and now 23, reader has shaped herself into a proper vigilante, her fighting style is raw, pure anger in her punches, she takes care of Gotham, sure she's not fighting world ending threats, but she's saving people, helping, it's helped to fill the void in her chest where her family's love was supposed to go, the batfamily knows about this new vigilante but know nothing about them, the suit reader wears is tactical that hides everything about her identity, not sure how but she gets unmasked/ hurt and unmasked and they find out, cue Yandere Batfamily.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptnation, which is turning out to be like NaNo but with way less stress]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) 10: choice (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

Their lives have never been predictable. Which, in some ways, has made them very predictable, John thinks as he stops Sherlock in the hallway with a hand on the sleeve of his dressing gown. 'Hey,' he says, voice quiet. 'Come here.'

Sherlock raises an eyebrow, but doesn't hesitate to lean down and let John kiss him, thoroughly. Maybe even twice.

'Great, thanks,' John says roughly afterwards, backing away. 'I've got work now.'

He really should have known, from the start, that they'd have to steal moments for this out of the chaos they live in.

'Not your babysitter,' Mrs Hudson sings the next day as she holds Rosie's hands down the stairs. 'But I've got applesauce jelly with her name on it. And I'll change her nappy while I'm at it, won't I?' The last is said to Rosie, obviously, who is very focused on the stairs.

John, in turn, is focused somewhere else as well. 'We've got ten minutes,' he says, already out of his chair. 

'Eight and a half,' Sherlock corrects, pulling John to him and capturing his mouth easily. John is tempted, so tempted, to let it go too far, but his prefrontal cortex is fully developed now, unlike the last time he felt this sort of heady gut-lust.

Maybe it's because Sherlock is a man, but he hasn't experienced a sense of newness this acute since being in school. And he'd thought, because he knows Sherlock in every other way it is possible to know a person, that this added dimension would feel--normal. Comfortingly similar. Would slot into their lives unnoticeably.

Decidedly not, John accepts some days and a solved case later, just before his backside hits the kitchen table. They've got a few more stolen moments while Rosie's napping on the sofa, and he's determined to make the most of them.

At Sherlock's urging, he lifts himself up onto the table's cluttered surface, then grabs at Sherlock's face to bring him back into the kiss. He spreads his knees without a thought and feels enveloped by heat as Sherlock moves further in between them. He fits around Sherlock perfectly, and it feels like--

It feels like lacing his fingers together with the other thumb in front, or crossing his arms with the other hand dominant. It feels like his own body still, yes, his skin heating up and his lungs pressing for air, but from a literal whole new perspective.

And he wants more of it. 'Do you think,' he murmurs in between kisses, 'that you'd want to be the one--' He pauses as Sherlock bites at his jaw. 'The one in charge?'

Sherlock pulls back enough to give him a look. 'Are you struggling through your English modesty to ask me if I'd like to top?'

John's neck flushes further, and he's pretty sure now it's both from arousal and embarrassment. Which is also new; he's said plenty more graphic things to women without hesitation, but apparently all bets are off when it comes to Sherlock. 'Yeah,' he says firmly. 'Yes.'

'I'd assumed you'd want to be the one doing that.'

'Wait, though-- you've done this before…?'

Sherlock's mouth quirks up. 'Subtle as always, John. Yes, I have. But not with you, do you understand? I want whatever you want. Quite literally.'

John swallows. 'And vice versa. I'm not new-- I mean, to the whole idea--'

'I'm very aware,' Sherlock retorts. And of course he is, aware of both John's various partners over the years and also of his, well, solo habits.

'Alright,' John says dryly. 'Rein it in, detective.' He sobers, hoping he doesn't have to go into detail. 'But this feels… different. And I want you to--to show me everything, to do everything you want.'

Sherlock, as he should have expected, takes this as a sort of delightful challenge. 'Well, then, we are at a bit of a stalemate, aren't we?'

John smirks, relief seeping through. 'Flip a coin?' he says, tightening his thighs, ready to dip back into Sherlock's mouth.

But Rosie, naturally, chooses that moment to wake up, and to do so loudly. She's almost got Sherlock's name down, and she definitely can yell for John like she's getting paid for it.

John groans and leans his forehead against Sherlock's momentarily, or at least intending for it to be momentary but shortly hearing the sound of his daughter shuffling into the kitchen, dragging her favourite garishly plaid blanket behind her. 

'Perhaps we'll cut a deck of cards?' Sherlock suggests to him as they untangle.

Then the detective reaches down for Rosie, who is looking back and forth between them. 'Cards?' she repeats once she's in his arms, her tiny person pronunciation still simultaneously hilarious and brilliant. 

'Yes,' Sherlock answers matter-of-factly. 'Your father and I are trying to decide…' He looks at John, a glint in his eye John shouldn't like at all. '...who gets to have the first ginger nut.'

John chokes on his tea, the sting going into his nostrils. 'Unfair,' he says.

His daughter seems interested, which is not surprising considering she shares Sherlock's predilection for the biscuit. 'Ginger nut!' she says. 'Me too?'

'Of course,' Sherlock says amenably. 'It's time for tea, anyhow.'

John tamps down a smile, then goes in for the assist, relieving Sherlock of Rosie so the detective can rummage around in the fridge. In their current arrangement, Sherlock is in charge of keeping edible and non-edible items separated. It's a dealbreaker, John had said when they'd moved back in. And Sherlock had complied without too much fuss, much to John's continued surprise.

Though, to be honest, he half expects Rosie would be delighted to find fingers in the crisper.

When everything's on the table and Rosie's in her booster seat, John digs in his pocket and pulls out a 50p coin, flipping it over to Sherlock without warning.

Sherlock catches it, regards it, then raises an eyebrow. 'I can rig this, you know.' 

'Yes, but you won't, because my daughter is impressionable and worships you. And while you have many fine attributes, casual cheating is not one I'm interested in her inheriting.' 

'Or, erm,' Sherlock starts, fingers casually playing with the coin. 'Any.' It's not a question, but suddenly he's looking intently at John, forehead wrinkled.

John's heart squeezes as he clocks what Sherlock's actually trying to get at. 'Sherlock. Bloody hell. Of course.' He inhales harshly. 'I know I'm not-- not exactly trustworthy any more, in that arena.'

But Sherlock cuts off his self-flagellation. 'Poppycock.'

'Beg pardon?'

Sherlock shakes his head. 'You were seduced by a person who could talk someone into murder with the snap of her fingers. She is literally the most brilliant manipulator in the world, and though I hold you in high regard you in no way had the capacity to overcome that.'

The anxiety slowly eases, though he suspects he'll never fully be free of it. 'You're admitting you're not the cleverest?'

He thinks Sherlock will counter in good humour, but instead he's a bit thoughtful. 'I think that, at that level, one is somewhere in the stratosphere, separated from everyone below. I find I rather like it down here.' He smiles crookedly, genuinely, at John. 'In certain company, at least.' 

John's heart twinges. 'Well. That's.' He clears his throat. 'That's good. We rather like you down here. Most of the time.'

He breaks eye contact, instead looking at Rosie, who is happily getting banana all over her hands. He hopes the words will be sufficient. 'But I mean it.'

Sherlock's voice is quiet, fond and no-nonsense at the same time. 'I know. I know you, John Watson.'

John feels a smile slowly cross his face. 'Yeah, that's right, you'd catch me out instantly anyway. How I ended up with the one person I literally will not ever be able to keep a secret from, I've no idea. Birthdays and anniversaries are going to be very, very boring.'

Sherlock's smirk gives no doubt as to where his mind has immediately gone. 'Oh, I doubt that.'

John can tell his skin is starting to flush again. 'Speaking of… Coin flip is right out, so…?'

'Paper scissors stone?' 

'No!'

'Why not?'

'Because you'd definitely cheat at that.'

'True. Magic 8 Ball?'

'You know what a Magic 8 Ball is?'

'Had a case where it was the murder weapon.'

'What? Really?'

'Yes.' Sherlock leans in, clearly ready to share the tale while assisting Rosie with her cheerios. 

And John wants to remember this, this exact feeling of this exact moment, forever.

[❤️]

[kinkyrafe]

sub!rafe kinktober prompts

hello my loves,

I know the sub!rafe fandom is pretty small but nevertheless a couple of people were interested in a sub!rafe kinktober, so let's do it! I know this is super spontaneous and there's not much time to prepare now but even if we get only a couple of drabbles, headcanons, moodboards or digital art posts here and there I'd totally consider this a win. use whatever prompt you like, join in at whatever day you like and tag your work #sub!rafekinktober -- I'd be super happy if you tagged me as well so I can repost your work even if it doesn't show up in the tag.

the prompts

Oct. 01: "Your body wants it, even if you say otherwise." Oct. 02: "You don’t get to decide when it ends. That’s my job." Oct. 03: "Show me how obedient you can be." Oct. 04: "Tied up and nowhere to go just how I like you." Oct. 05: "Does that feel good?" Oct. 06: "You're not in charge here, no matter how much you want to be." Oct. 07: "I really need to get out of my head." Oct. 08: "Are you sure you want to challenge me when I literally have all the control over you?" Oct. 09: "This is impossible." Oct. 10: "You’re not getting free until I’m satisfied." Oct. 11: "I've done worse to you before, come on." Oct. 12: "Be good and spread your legs." Oct. 13: "I can feel how badly you want it, but that doesn’t mean I’ll give in." Oct. 14: "There you go, baby." Oct. 15: "Ready to beg for me?" Oct. 16: "Is that what I think it is?" Oct. 17: "Sit still or I'll stop." Oct. 18: "Every time you listen, you make me proud." Oct. 19: "How does this position feel?" Oct. 20: "You’re trembling. Is it from fear, or from wanting more?" Oct. 21: "I could also distract you from work." Oct. 22: "It's an order!" Oct. 23: "You gotta work for every single orgasm." Oct. 24: "No hiding." Oct. 25: "Let go. Let me take care of everything." Oct. 26: "You’re perfect for me." Oct. 27: "You did so well today." Oct. 28: "Now where’s the fun in that?" Oct. 29: "Hands behind your back." Oct. 30: "How are you so good at this?" Oct. 31: "Make the most of it."

I love quote prompts and I really hope you do, too. I briefly considered providing scenario / activity prompts but even (or especially) within the BDSM community, the kinks are so diverse that some kinks would have been left out and at the same time, I myself just don't want to write certain kinks -- if that makes sense. with the quote prompts everyone can choose the kink and the scenario for themselves.

enough with the rambling. one more disclaimer: you'll probably see me violate my own schedule. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to write 31 drabbles. I'm currently aiming to upload every second day of October, starting on the 2nd (lame, I know). however, to make up for it, I'll try and use two quote prompts in one drabble.

alright. I hope you'll enjoy this -- I sure as hell will.

let's ruin this b**** (with love).

happy kink season, my loves!

xx bab

_______

@yagirlwrites @audzss

[yeonboy]

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥 ♡ choi yeonjun // mlist.

After facing disappointment with love for years upon years, you have chosen to replace romance with dance in your life, dedicating your entire time to this dance academy you’re employed at. It’s not that you hate men now, you just don’t expect to fall for them anymore because all they do is break your heart. And then Choi Yeonjun enters your life as a new recruit at the academy – sweet, adorable, soft spoken, kind and younger than you. He is everything you have never found attractive in a guy before. But somehow, you're helplessly spiraling for him.

❧ choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | smau ♡ comedy ♡ angst ♡ strangers to friends to lovers!au ♡ dance academy!au ♡ 98-liner!reader ♡ dancer!reader ♡ dancer!yeonjun ♡ slow burn.

❧ warnings! profanity, an ABUNDANCE of suggestive jokes, mentions of people's sex lives (or lack thereof), death & murder threats as jokes, some of the characters being assholes for no reason, reader being a commitment phobe, a lot of pining, a ton of miscommunication (hehe ofc <3), misunderstandings, unnecessary heartbreaks + more will be added as the series progresses!

❧ featuring! all of txt | jimin & jungkook (bts) | sakura & kazuha (le sserafim) | yeji & ryujin (itzy) | keeho (p1harmony) | somi (soloist, ex i.o.i).

❧ playlist! trampoline - zayn & shaed ║ easy - camila cabello ║ lavender haze - taylor swift ♪

❧ status! 23.04.23 ⇢ tba. | on-going | bi-weekly updates

notes! heyyy, guys! yes, rya smau era 2k23 hehe! i had this idea for a very angsty fic where an older reader has feelings for a younger yeonjun but can't accept it bec he's not her "type"... but when i tried to write it, it got soooo sad and heavy soooo fast that i had to give up 😭 SO! i reckoned why not attempt to do an smau w a lighter version of this concept??? let's hope this turns out okay (:

pls be kind! the last time i wrote an smau was in 2018 so my creativity's got rust in every crevice (': but constructive criticism + suggestions are more than welcome! 🫶

❧ main masterlist | inbox ⁘

profiles: [1] [2] [3]

00. intro ║ 01. more nepotism hires ║ 02. grandpa and grandma ║ 03. break a leg (but not yours) [written: 1k] ║ 04. do you like flowers ║ 05. ✨aRtTtT✨ ║ 06. let the boy feel a woman's touch ║ 07. support system ║ 08. liking people we can't have ║ 09. it IS weird ║ 10. ‼ trouble ‼ ║ 11. connecting some big ass dots ║ 12. it's a work in progress ║ 13. dance crush ║ 14. enemies to lovers ║ 15. ohhh my god i'm so stupid ║ 16. at least that’s how it began ║ 17. we're no sidehoe material ❌ ║ 18. jealousy wasn't on my bingo card ║ 19. pesky little feelings ║ 20. why do i know so much ║ 21. it should've been me ║ 22. an overthinker AND a dumbass ║ 23. everything is a mess [written: 500] ║ 24. sum chamgo love dive it is [written: 1k] || 25. feels like a funeral in here ║ 26. let's all act surprised || 27. must start breathing into a bag ║ 28. IDK DUDE IM NERVOUS ║ 29. i wasn't jumping I SLIPPED ║ 30. wdym denial ║ [tba]

taglist: @bailies-me @samisubi @forever-in-the-sky2 @captivq @jiawji @hyuneyeon @wanlore @softcabur @emohazuzworld @yjusei @marifujioka @taekwondoes @suzirumas @ohmahgods @ye0nvibezzn @mrsyawnzzn @rionah

let me know if you'd like to be added!

© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.

[weaselle]

so a while back i made a post about my quick and easy / low spoons cooking technique, and the post has about 20k notes now, so i know folks are interested.

It's an all-in-one-pan meal that uses a minimum of dishes for easy clean up -- and a simple technique which works for any almost protein and veggie combo! so you can use it to make literally hundreds of different meals, and the way I outline it, it includes the dish cleaning and leaves you with lunch for the next day too.

In that post i tell people they can be done in the kitchen with this technique in about 35 minutes, because i've been a pro cook and the post is aimed at people low on spoons or with very little kitchen experience and i don't want to give false expectations. But in the notes i said that when i'm at full energy i can probably do it in about 18 minutes

Ever since then i've wondered how true that time really is. Tonight i had a decent amount of spoons in my pocket so i decided to time myself.

I started by standing in the middle of the kitchen with nothing prepped and everything put away. I hit the timer and then started. I didn't rush, I just moved without any wasted effort or time. There were even a couple minutes when i checked tumblr because i had nothing immediate to do. The point is, i wasn't doing any crazy kitchen skills, and i wasn't on my line-cook hustle, this is something anyone can learn to do without too much trouble.

The above meal, salmon zucchini and carrots in a soy-based pan sauce, took me 17 minutes and 23 seconds. Including all clean up and lunch for tomorrow.

I sort of want to make a video because it sounds more complicated to describe how to do it in print that it really is, and a fair number of people in the notes on the original post are sort of like "low spoons my ass" and i get it, i too have not had the spoons for even this.

All i'm sayin is, if you do have the energy for this, which really isn't much, and you have some kind of quick breakfast/snack go-to like a yogurt cup or something (i like smearing a streak of peanut butter on a single slice of bread and wrapping it around a banana like a taco shell, takes 2 minutes and dirties a single knife) ...

you can easily get to a point where, with very little labor you can spend a total of like 25 minutes a day on all three meals including all dishes and kitchen clean up. And it gets you home cooked meals made of fresh veggies and whole proteins instead of some frozen microwave thing or fast food or something. And that's gotta be good for anyone struggling with time and energy.

[jayujus]

JOAH (I LIKE YOU) - CHAPTER 17

— 17 : new best fran

written ~ 0.4k + smau

y/n and wonyoung were on their way to their school's campus for the dance event. it was a bit awkward since the two never spoke in person before, but wonyoung tried her best to keep a conversation the whole time.

"are you sure they'll be okay with modeling for me?" y/n nods, feeling a sense of nervousness in wonyoung's voice. "i think you'll be fine. a few of them have experience in modeling..." she smiles at y/n's reassurance. "thank you, y/n."

"of course!"

once they'd arrived, riki had immediately taken notice of the two girls, surprised that she was here with someone new. the girls looked around in hoping to spot someone they knew, but riki was already making their way to them.

"hi,"

"hi," the girls say in unison. "uhh so what do you need me to get started on?" y/n asks, feeling extremely awkward with riki's presence.

it didn't make much sense to her as to why he would talk to her out of the blue and ask for her help when he passed every opportunity he had before.

"umm can you help me and taki with the lights? if it's not too hard,"

"that's fine. can wonyoung help too?" riki hums.

__

wonyoung finishes her job, excusing herself to go to the bathroom, leaving y/n with riki and taki.

y/n smiles at wonyoung and goes back to setting up the lights. riki stops and looks at her, seeing her focused on finishing up, he's unsure of whether he should say something.

taki cringes at riki, quickly finishing up and leaving to go help jongseob and soul.

riki bites his lip, sending a glare at taki's way for leaving them alone before finishing up himself.

"i'm done.. is there anything else for me to do?" riki looks around, "umm i'm not sure. i think everything else is already being taken care of. the lights were the main thing." she nods, "are you leaving now?"

"i can't, wonyoung needs to scout people for her magazine. that's why i invited her to come."

__

it was about 7pm, wonyoung and y/n were sitting on the bleachers, listening to the dance team talk to the audience.

"did something happen with you and riki? it's so awkward with you both..." y/n shrugs, not really sure how to answer. "i don't know,, i liked him for a while but he never liked me back... and he was awfully mean about it too so eventually i realized it's better for me to move on, but for some reason he chose to text me for help on this event."

"and you moved on?" y/n hesitates, but she hums after a few seconds. "he must've developed feelings for you because he missed your attention, then."

"that's not true."

"mhmm.... you keep telling yourself that." y/n playfully smacks wonyoung's arm. "whatever! let's talk about you... i see you got along well with jungwon today." she playfully winks, resulting in a smack by wonyoung as well.

previous | next | masterlist

taglist is now closed

a/n ❀ : written part is not that good and detailed as i was hoping im so sorry T_T also if u have a username change and are on the taglist you can lmk and ill change it!

taglist ❀ : @forever-in-the-sky2 @wonqr @strwberrydinosaur @j-wyoung @alicesolengg @rikimylove @hehet-ateez @dneltrise @ifearjwn @ocyeanicc @yumilovesloona @baekxo07 @yourmyst4r @suvgs @telengraph @cha0thicpisces @maybemiko @str4wb3rryc0ww @kaizny @noascats @captivq @calkai @rikizm @chaechae-23 @blehblehbleh20122007 @iea-tsand @beomgyusonlywife @starz4hyunz @viagumi @lunavixia @neeneee @sullyoonooc @im-yn-suckers @b1ndignity @samvagejkflxhrt @darly6n @astrae4 @wonyoungsvirus @deadgirlwalking3 @kissezfornamjoon @lilacri @rikibsf @yanagisprettygf @luvalee @sxftiell @heeheesang @tswisal1 @sloobydooburmomjungwon @pkjay @yizhoutv @brrrkdslek @y0iy0i @shigamiryuk @231engene4ever @luvistqrzzz

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (March 24-30, 2024)

A coworker asked tonight me how Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire measured up to Godzilla Minus One, and I responded, "Almost as good, but in a completely different way." If you like monsters (and if you're following me I have to assume you do), see it, no questions asked. There's about a million of them and they're all delightful. The franchise has long struggled to recapture the specific charms of the Showa era, and I think this comes closer than any of them. (It's the climactic tag-team battle... also Mothra returning to knock some sense into Godzilla). Pure junk food, but you can't just watch Oppenheimer all the time.

Godzilla x Kong tore up the box office this weekend, performing well above expectations. Its $80 million opening Stateside was the second-best of the Monsterverse (after Godzilla). It added another $114 million internationally for the best overall opening of the (still-young) year. China was a big part of that with $44 million; giant monster movies are among the few Hollywood imports that still play well there. With a $135 million budget, lowest of the Monsterverse by a wide margin, it's a matter of when, not if, Legendary announces the next one.

The Oxford English Dictionary has added an entry for tokusatsu, defined as "A genre of Japanese film or television entertainment characterized by the use of practical special effects, usually featuring giant monsters, transforming robots, and masked and costumed superheroes." It's part of a group of 23 freshly-acknowledged Japanese loan words; unclear if the timing is coincidental. Oh, and if you're curious, they added kaiju in 2018. As someone who remembers when the only English-speakers who used either word were in fandom, it's pretty wild to see.

French company Extralucid Films will release Gappa on Blu-ray in June. The impressive-sounding bonus features are naturally all in French, but there's one that transcends language: 17 minutes of extra monster footage. The U.S. version of Gappa, Monster from a Prehistoric Planet, only has about 7 minutes worth of shots absent from the Japanese version, so I'm pretty curious about the other 10. It's also the first time this footage has been released in HD (Tokyo Shock blew it in 2020).

Season 2 of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is indeed receiving official English subtitles, starting the same day as the Japanese premiere, April 10. Godzilla Battle Line also added a hilariously busted joint Chibi Godzilla-Chibi Mechagodzilla unit, along with a Destoroyah variant. (Maybe Godzilla x Kong units are next month?)

A new Monsterverse movie means new books to buy. The prequel comic Godzilla x Kong: The Hunted is out already (not recommended), but officially you'll have to wait until April 23 for the novelization and May 14 for the art book. Chalk that up to the late release date change, maybe. Unofficially, people are already getting the novelization from Amazon, because they're a monopoly that can afford to pay the fines from publishers for breaking street date. The audiobook version also released on the same day as the film. I don't have intel on what it adds and changes yet; adding everything from the film itself to Wikizilla is all I can handle right now.

The San Francisco Giants are offering a Godzilla VIP Experience on May 17, a long-overdue acknowledgement of the savior of their city. Tickets are almost gone, though I think it's a shame that the promotion is opt-in to begin; what happened to giving these tchotchkes out to the first thousand fans? Well, figures that they'd make getting merch of the Minus One Godzilla in the States a hassle.

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Eight

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smut? (whoops), male!masturbation, abuse? (nothing heavy) word count: 2.5k a/n: y'all this is my first time attempting some sort of smut so if its bad GIVE ME A BREAK. i tried my gosh darndest i swear.

pov: layla

After staying at Downs with Matt and his friends for a few more hours, he and Chris dropped me at my house around 10 pm. I unbuckled my seatbelt as I leaned forward to put my elbows on the console between them as Chris hummed along to the song that he was playing on aux.

"Thanks for coming tonight," Matt smiled at me and I returned it quickly along with a nod.

"Thanks for letting me," I smiled up at him, my high slowly fading now that it had been a few hours since I smoked, "I'll see you guys at school."

They both returned their own versions of goodbyes as I slid out of the backseat, closing the door behind me. I sighed when I noticed my dad's car in the driveway, hoping that he was asleep already.

Much to my dismay, the moment I opened the front door and Matt drove away, I heard his footsteps travel down the hallway. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment as I closed the door behind me before I opened them again to see him standing there, swaying back and forth as he looked at me with dead eyes.

"Where were you?" he slurred, trying to sound angry but he just looked tired and out of it. I adjusted my phone in my pocket and looked over to him.

"I messaged you. I was at a friend's hockey game," I answered truthfully and he furrowed his eyebrows further as he took a step towards me making me tense. I didn't move from my place in front of the door, my body being frozen.

"Did you take the brick to Wes?" he asked me and I shook my head, hearing him huff as I looked at my feet.

"He said he wanted it tomorrow. I'll do it then," I answered quietly and I felt my breath catch in my throat as he stepped even closer to me.

"What did I say about mumbling?" he said through gritted teeth and I swallowed my nerves, lifting my head to see he was only a foot from me.

"I'll do it tomorrow," I answered him clearly and he just stared at me, a rage behind his eyes that was always misplaced. I knew he was never mad at me, I did everything he wanted me to, but he had to take his anger out on someone and I was always the only person around.

"You better start pulling your act together," he pointed a lazy finger at me, eyes drooping as he did so, "Or you will turn out like your bitch of a mother."

"Dad don't say that," I whispered shakily and he shook his head.

"What did I say about talking back?" his voice raised, making me flinch slightly but I continued to stare into his eyes, not backing down as he swayed in his spot.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better," I answered clearly, fitting the urge to throw him out of the house and lock him out.

"I'm going to bed. Don't fucking wake me up tomorrow," he grumbled, trudging back to his room and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I leaned against the front door, hearing his door slam as I closed my eyes. I reached around, locking both locks on the door before I waddled down to my room.

I closed the door behind me, flicking the lights on before I quickly got changed into clothes to sleep in. I looked in the mirror to take my makeup off and I forgot the 81 Matt had painted on my cheek was still there. It was slightly smudged but I smiled to myself, biting my lip before I grabbed a makeup wipe, scrubbing it off of my face before taking the rest of my eye makeup off.

I slid under my covers, checking my phone quickly to see a message from Wes.

Westy 10:21pm yo, when u dropping tmrw?

You 10:23pm probs around 6 that good w u?

Westy 10:24pm ye c u then

I sighed, locking my phone before plugging it in. I turned to stare at the ceiling, adjusting my pillow behind me as my mind travelled to the events of today. I didn't really want to go to Downs but I felt the need to go with Matt, feeling bad if I left immediately once the game ended.

I thought about when I took his phone and the fake anger on his face, making me smile to myself. I became bold when I was high and it wasn't until he was standing in front of me, I decided it would be fun to put his phone in my bra. The feeling of his fingers brushing against the skin of my stomach was enough to raise goosebumps on my skin and I felt like the air had left my lungs when his hand brushed against my boobs. I didn't think it through, now overthinking it and wondering if I went too far.

Was he uncomfortable and I didn't notice? Did he really not want to do it and I misread the situation? Did he hesitate because he was scared to touch me or because he found it unpleasant?

My mind circled with thoughts of anxiety and worry but soon enough, my mind fell to only the feeling of his hands on me as I drifted to sleep, hugging the pillow beside me.

+++

pov: matt

It took me forever to fall asleep, my mind falling to Layla every time I closed my eyes. I don't remember what time I fell asleep but when I woke up at 2 pm, I realised it would be exponentially harder to get my sleep schedule on track when I went back to school on Monday.

I spent the first hour awake just scrolling aimlessly on my phone before I decided to get up, seeing Chris and Nick sitting on the couch. I walked past the living room and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. I waltzed back into the living room, placing myself on the couch beside Nick.

"Nice of you to join us," Nick said sarcastically as he watched a random movie on the TV and I turned my head to look at him.

"It's the weekend, bro. Give me a break," I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of the water before screwing the cap back on.

"I'll give you a break when you stop putting your hand up Layla's shirt in the middle of a parking lot," Nick raised his eyebrows at me and I let my jaw hang open.

"Chris!" I yelled at him and he held his hands up in defence, "It wasn't like that."

"How is touching a girl's tits 'not like that'," Chris smiled and I rolled my eyes, flopping back into the couch.

"She took my phone and put it in her bra. She said the only way I was getting it back was if I grabbed it. So I did," I explained and Nick and Chris shared a look before they both looked at me.

"She would've given it back eventually. She can't hold your phone hostage," Nick deadpanned and I pursed my lips, crossing my arms over my chest as I sank further down into the couch.

"Well, I wanted my phone and I got it. End of story," I mumbled before I heard Chris's chuckle. They didn't say anything further, turning their attention away from me as I stared blankly at the wall.

My mind drifted to her again, the feeling of her skin against my fingertips. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting my head fall back onto the couch as I tried to get her out of my mind. I felt like I was in middle school and just discovered a girl's body for the first time, the tent in my sweatpants making it obvious that I was losing my mind over this girl.

I grabbed a blanket, pulling it over my body to hide my now very obvious boner from Chris and Nick. I tried to picture anything else, the classic of my grandma or my brothers doing some stupid shit but to no avail, my mind always travelled back to her.

I wondered what she would look like laying in my bed in nothing but my shirt or what sounds she would make as I slid my hands down her body. I wondered whether she would be loud and dominating or quiet and submissive, my mind leaning towards the former considering she called me a good boy last night.

Good boy.

My mind wouldn't stop reeling her words in my head and I quickly shot up from the couch, throwing the blanket off of myself as I walked out of the room.

"Where you going?" Chris asked me.

"Shower," I quickly responded, not looking back at him as I made a B-line for the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, quickly sliding my clothes off before I stepped in, the warm water covering my skin. I looked down at the tattoos covering my waist, imagining her hands running along them delicately. I groaned, hitting my forehead against the wall of the shower to rid my thoughts.

I never intended to think about her like this, I wanted to be friends, but it was hard to feel that way when everything she did drew me towards her. It started with her eyes, peering up at me with judgement and confusion before it turned to happiness and seductiveness, whether that was her intent or not didn't matter in my brain.

When she bit her lip, the soft pink skin that I wanted nothing more than to bite into right now. I wrapped my hand around the base of my dick, hissing when I felt how hard I was as I pulsed in my own hand. Keeping my head against the wall, I started stroking myself slowly as I panted lightly.

I imagined my hand as hers, her delicate fingers working their way around me easily as the water made it easier to glide over the skin. I let my eyes fall closed, thinking of her brown eyes looking up at me in pleasure before I bucked my hips into my own hand.

I mentally slapped myself for thinking about her like this but I couldn't stop myself. She was bad for me, I knew that, but it made me want her all that much more. Something I shouldn't have being mine was what drew me to her more every day. The way she was so different from me, her life so different from mine, tempted me towards her in ways I hadn't realised until now. The thrill of doing something you shouldn't was intoxicating.

I groaned as I thrusted into my hand, the pleasure building in my stomach as I imagined her in front of me, nails running down my back as her body would press against mine. The way her face would be contorted in pleasure and back arching in bliss. The beautiful noises that would fall from her lips, calling my name back to me to let me know I was the one who could make her feel such a way.

I let out a small whine, almost feeling her arms around me as I came undone and slowed my pace, pumping myself steadily as my tip became red and sensitive. I hissed pulling my hand away from myself as I sighed.

I quickly finished my shower, deciding I didn't have the energy to shave again and just washed my face regularly. I turned off the shower, stepping out and drying myself off. After wrapping my towel around my waist, I picked my clothes up from the floor and exited the bathroom.

I entered my bedroom moments later, shutting the door behind me while shaking my head and throwing my dirty clothes in the laundry. I picked out some sweatpants and a pink shirt, realising I wasn't going anywhere important today.

I sat down at my desk, opened my laptop and played a random playlist on Spotify as I started studying to the best of my ability. Before I knew it an hour had passed and I had barely written anything on the page when I heard a knock at my door.

"Yeah?" I called out, not bothering to turn around. I heard the door open, catching my attention and Chris waltzed into my room, throwing himself on my bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked, typing something on his phone as I spun around again.

"Trying to study," I mumbled, tapping my pen against the table as I looked down at the empty page, my thoughts blank when looking at the numbers.

"Since when do you struggle to study," Chris mumbled as I heard him shift on my bed. I looked over to see him now laying on his stomach, his head at the end of the bed that was close to me.

"Since now I guess," I sighed, slumping back in my seat as I placed my hands on my head.

"Someone's pussy whipped," Chris mumbled and I frowned at him, noticing a small smirk on his lips making me roll my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm pussy whipped over a girl I haven't even hugged. Nice thinking genius," I answered sarcastically and he once again, shifted on my bed to sit up, crossing his legs over each other.

He shrugged, looking at me with tired eyes as he said, "So ask her out?"

"What happened to thinking she was a psychopath?" I asked, squinting my eyes at him and he shrugged once again.

"Maybe I judged too early. She seems chill around you," he answered and I turned my head towards my desk, biting my lip to hide my triumphant smile. I got rid of the smile on my lips before I looked at him again and he said jokingly, "As long as you don't start breaking our sober streak."

"Does one puff of a cigarette count as breaking the sober streak?" I asked hesitantly and I saw his eyebrows furrow.

"What?" he asked, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees as he looked at me sceptically.

I sighed, running my hand down my face as I mumbled, "That day I went to McDonald's with her. She was smoking and I don't know why but I took it and tried it."

"Matt," Chris groaned and I threw my hands out in front of me.

"I don't know why I did it! It was fucking awful anyway," I explained and he shook his head, clear disappointment, "She just made it look so easy."

"She's already fucking you up," he shook his head, his distaste for her once again peeking through as I sighed.

"It's not her fault. I'm the fucking idiot that didn't think before I did it," I groaned and adjusted my shirt as it rode up my back from sliding down the chair.

"Yeah, you are a fucking idiot," he shook his head, a smile falling onto his lips before mumbling, "Pussy whipped."

"Fuck off!" I threw my pen at him as he jumped off of my bed and ran out of my room giggling like a little kid.

"Nick he's pussy whipped!" I heard him call out to our brother as he jogged down the hall and I rolled my eyes, placing my forehead on my desk in despair.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix

[themetaphorgirl]

where I've been

hello friends! it's me!

I know my presence has been really hit or miss over the past year and change. if you want the short version, life has just been really tough, but I'm at the point where I really want to feel like life feels more normal again, which includes writing and posting and being more active.

if you'd like the deluxe edition of what's been going on, I do feel like I want to share what's been happening. it's been really rough and the next steps are only going to be more difficult, so knowing I have friends rooting for me will really help.

you don't have to read if you don't want to, it's kind of a bummer! the biggest takeaway is that I've been going through a garbage time but I want to start writing regularly again, so hopefully you'll see a lot more of me moving forward.

everything else below the cut!

tw: pregnancy, pregnancy loss

okay so. y'all know I got married in December 2022 (and we are still very happily married!!). we've known from the getgo that we want a family, but hadn't quite pulled the trigger.

well, there was another situation that happened that made me realize that I really wanted to start trying now, but it also unlocked a really deep trauma. when I was 23 I was in a really horrible relationship, and I got pregnant. and I ended up miscarrying pretty early on. and I got zero support. that's the short version.

I ended up, I guess for my own sanity, blocking it out. there's big gaps in my memory that just. don't exist. and for a long time I told myself it didn't happen. later, when I acknowledged that it did happen, I told myself that it was for the best, that I would have been a bad mother at that point in my life, that I would have had to maintain contact with my ex, that it just wasn't the right time and it was a good thing that I lost my baby.

the problem was I never grieved. I never healed. it was all just locked away and festering and killing me slowly.

so I ended up spending a good part of last year grieving and trying to deal with pain that I should have dealt with years ago. which...let me tell you, it's a rough process.

and at the same time, I realized that I wanted to start trying. my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. I've wanted five kids for as long as I can remember. Every time I pictured the future I pictured children. And I didn't want to wait anymore. which...is extra complicated to start that process when you're also in the midst of unpacking trauma.

and as you might have guessed...I'm not pregnant yet.

I'm very lucky that my work has a great medical program and they don't have waiting periods to see fertility specialists, so I started seeing doctors last April. And there's nothing wrong. I've done bloodwork, I've done ultrasounds, I've done so many tests, Shane has been tested. We've done three medicated cycles with trigger shots. They can't find anything wrong. They keep shrugging and saying that it's just the matter of the right time.

Unexplained infertility is a bitch.

It's so painful. It's so unfair. And because of my job I'm constantly doing orders for pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and baby's first Christmas. I cannot tell you how many times I've run to the bathroom to cry because I just can't handle being surrounded by reminders that I'm not anybody's mother yet.

I'm currently on cycle 17 of trying. which. that on its own hurts so much. s e v e n t e e n.

we have to hold off on starting the next steps because Shane lost his job (which is another absolutely insane stressor) but he's in a new job that he loves and pays better, and I'm getting a referral for a new clinic for a second opinion. but it looks like we're going to move forward with IVF.

I'm very very lucky that my work will pay for a significant amount towards IVF, but there's still payments we have to make, so we're working on getting our ducks in a row. and it's a terrifying prospect. medications and egg retrieval (my first surgery ever) and transfers. and the crippling fear that they won't get enough eggs or none of them will fertilize or the transfer won't be successful. it's eating me away. I've been feeling like such a shell of myself, every failed cycle feels like another piece of me has faded away.

right now I'm trying to focus on getting myself in as healthy as a place as possible, emotionally and physically, before we start procedures. am I still hoping that I'll get pregnant without IVF? oh, desperately. but at this point, nearly a year and a half into trying, this is probably going to be our best bet.

so moving forward, I'm hoping I can start doing things that make me happy again. I've spent most of the past year and a half being incredibly depressed and not really doing anything other than laying around in bed. I did discover Lockwood & Co thanks to Maeve, and that's helped so much because it gave me something new to think about and fixate on (and write for), but it's still been rough and sporadic. which, actually, is a good describer of how the past year has gone. I need to get back into living again.

in the meantime thank you for everybody who's checked in on me, especially QuiddoDitto. I haven't really had the energy to message back, but I've seen the comments and messages and it's meant so much to me while I slog through this.

hopefully things will get better soon! hopefully I start feeling like a person again! hopefully I'll be writing and posting regularly because I miss it!

and hopefully there'll be a baby in my arms soon.

[veespee]

Jeff the Killer/The Butcher of The Woods - Jeffery Thomas

hello everyone! i got the idea to do my own little remasters of creepypasta characters (yesyes i know, not very original) and I'm starting with Jeff! first of all, i'm giving credit to @freezingmcxn of course for the inspo, although i haven't read her version of Jeff, i love the fanfiction soo much.

!! CW for: mentions of animal cruelty (not detailed), violence, and scenes with murder. !!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ onto my version of him: he has changed quite a bit. first of course, i changed his last name to Thomas to differentiate him from the OG, and also his nickname is now The Butcher of the Woods due some of the photos that were captured of him (his body is muscular like a butcher's). i also decided not to make Liu his brother, and he's an only child now.

other changes include: his face is burned from gasoline now, not bleach. he didn't give himself a Glasgow smile in my version either. he still has his basic appearance (long black hair, pale skin, dark eyes, and i imagine him pretty tall and with quite some muscle).

also important: he was born in 1973 in my AU, and the incident were he got burned was in 1996, making him 23! I'll make a separate post about how he would get involved with Slenderman later, but the whole 'proxy' thing starts in 2000!

Leatherface and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre were HUGE inspirations for this (both Bubba Sawyer and Thomas Hewitt) and i also think he'd act like Bubba, not talking much and rather grunting or grumbling.

anyways, onto the story! there's a TL;DR at the end as well.

Childhood/Teen years.

Jeffery Thomas, born June 6th of 1973, grew up in a small town of Texas, and was raised by his parents, Victoria Garcia, who worked in childcare, and Sebastian Thomas, a car mechanic. Jeff showed sociopathic tendencies since he was a child. He hurt animals, and other kids his age. He also had a strange fascination with fire, his hand often covered in burns when he would steal his dad's lighter and burn himself for fun. His parents got concerned, and took him to the doctor. He was suspected to have ASPD from the age of 12, and the doctor told them he could get diagnosed at the age of 18 if the behaviour persists. He was a living nightmare, breaking things, screaming when he didn't get his way, often hitting his parents. The final straw though was when he attacked one of his neighbour's sons, a 12 year old kid, brutally punching him to the point of the kid having to go to the hospital. He didn't have much of a reason, and when he was asked why, he simply responded “He was annoying. Talked too much.” After that, his parents really considered doing something. They loved their son deeply, but this couldn't fly. Jeff went to juvy for a year, and returned just before he turned 17. He was getting worse and worse as he got older, and after he ruined his dad's car after driving home drunk, he was kicked out at 17. He didn't have where to go, and he was seething. He called and called all of the people he knew, as he wandered the streets, until one friend picked up and told him he had a cabin in the woods that his family owned, but he never wanted to use it. Jeff accepted immediately, and set out to the cabin.

The Woods.

The cabin was small, but it had the necessities. It looked abandoned, and like a hunter leaved there, with animal heads and skulls adorning the walls. He organized everything, and now he was free without his parents over his shoulder, that's what he thought at least. But now, with the opportunity to be isolated and no one else to watch, he could he as depraved as he wanted. First, he took his anger out on animals, hunting them down for food. Although, that was from the need to eat. Then, after being isolated from society for a year, he really snapped. He was angry at the world, his parents, that annoying kid that talked too much, everyone. So he started wanting to hurt people.

Robbing.

At first it was little things, walking around the forest with a knife to threaten hunters and hiker and campers to give him money. He robbed plenty of people, before he started actually hurting them. He got tired of the process, yelling at them with threats, waiting for them to find their money and give it to him, he was bored. So he started attacking immediately, grabbing them from behind and choking them, or giving them a sharp punch on the back of the head. That was only to get them passed out though, not to kill them. He had watched countless of true crime related broadcasts, the News, and even some medical shows, just to know the anatomy of a human and where he had to hit. After a while, that got boring too. He needed more adrenaline, he was a junkie.

The First Kill / Unsuccessful.

It all started when he saw a group of friends. They were out camping, and he had spotted them when he was out for a late night hunt. He watched them, hiding behind the trees. He planned an attack, and he would do it the next night. He memorized their tents, and their relationships. He even learned their names. Three girls, two guys. Names were Suzie, Nancy, Angelica, Liam and Lucas. He observed, noticing that Liam was dating Suzie, Lucas was dating Angelica, leaving Nancy single. He even overheard Suzie and Angelica gossiping, basically shit talking Nancy, calling her some nasty names. They were typical teenagers, he had hit the jackpot. The next night, at 11, he set out to find them. They were sat at the campfire, talking. He had his plan. Make noises, get the men out, and get the girls alone. So he did, he ruffled the leaves, making moves, pretending to be a bear and guiding them deep into the forest. The men left, just as he expected, trying to find the noises. The women were left there, and they were getting paranoid by every noise. Suzie was hyperventilating, and she ran to her tent. Angelica was left with Nancy, but she quickly left to comfort Suzie. That's when Jeff got his cue. He jumped out, grabbing Nancy's hair. She naturally screamed, but Jeff quickly slashed her throat. The girls could hear him from inside the tent, and they were horrified, especially Suzie. Suzie became hystetical, and she ran out of the tent. Jessica followed, trying to get Suzie back, but Jeff spotted them. He started running after them, and Suzie was running around in a panic. Jessica was the logical one, she ran towards the car. She looked inside for any weapons, there was a gun, but the car was locked, and Liam had the keys. Jessica panicked, looking around. She could hear Suzie scream, as Jeff was chasing her down, she wanted to get rid of her first since she made so much noise. Jessica spotted the gas tank next to the car, and she picked it up. Thankfully, Jessica was a smoker, and with shaking hands, she got out her matches. She started running towards the sounds of Suzie, and finally found her. She had a stab wound on her side, and Jeff was holding by the neck, almost taunting her and just watching the wound, letting her feel the pain. With her blood boiling, Jessica threw the gasoline on him. Jeff turned around, letting out a gruff huff. He let Suzie go and she hit the ground, while Jeff charged at Jessica. Jessica fumbled with the matches, managing to light one just as Jeff grabbed her, and she lit him on fire. The gasoline had hit his back and the back of his hair, so the fire spread all over his clothes. Jeff let out a bloodcurdling scream, even dropping his knife to the ground. He viscously glared at the girls with his blurry vision, before he started to run away. Just then, the boys returned, looking in shock at the scene of Suzie stabbed on the ground, although alive, and Jessica frozen in shock.

The Aftermath.

Jeff run with all the energy he had, reaching the nearby river. He fell in, the fire calming down and disappearing. He was still in immense pain, but at least he wasn't on fire. He stayed in the water for a long time, clutching on some rocks for balance. Afterwards, he finally lifted himself up, heading towards the cabin with a limp. He grumbled under his breath the entire way, angry that he didn't get the kills he wanted, and that he was literally outsmarted by some teens. When he reached his cabin, he headed immediately to the bathroom to change. That's when he saw himself in the mirror, his face was burned all from his chin to his upper cheek. He stared at himself, not knowing what to think. He looked horrifying, and when he touched his skin, it felt leathery. Some of his hair had fallen off, leaving thin strands of his long black hair. He stared and stared, before deciding he couldn't care less about his appearance, and went into the shower.

He continued killing, his victims having his burned face and big structure burned into their minds. When the news spread about missing people in the forest, and the rumours started, he was finally dubbed as 'The Butcher of the Woods'.

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okay that's it :3 okay i know this is a lot, and this isn't even half of it 😭 but yeah, if anyone is interested, I'll maybe get more into the details! my asks are open and feel free to ask any questions. 🖤

a TL;DR for anyone that's too lazy to read (valid tbh):

My version of Jeff was a sociopath since he was a young child. He had symptoms such as hurting small animals, or kids that were younger than him. He'd target and pick things that were weaker and smaller to give himself a power trip. At the age of 16 he assaulted his neighbour's son, who was about 12, punching him repeatedly while the kid was on the ground. That incident sent Jeff to juvy for a year. He came back when he turned 17, and his parents tried to see if he got better. Instead though, Jeff crashed his dad's car after driving drunk, and his parents finally snapped and kicked him out of the house. Jeff didn't have where to go, but one of his friends let him stay at a cabin in the woods that he owned but didn't want to use.

In the woods, Jeff would rob campers, hikers, hunters, anyone he could find. He would also hunt and kill animals to eat. But after a while, he got bored, and he wanted blood, human blood. While wandering, Jeff found a couple of teen campers, three girls and two guys. After watching them and observing their personalities, Jeff roughed up a plan. He lured the guys away, leaving the girls alone. He managed to kill one of the girls via slashing her throat, and the other two started running. He gave chase, managing to stab one of them. But while he was distracted with the chasing, the other girl found the gasoline they used for their car. She threw the gasoline on Jeff while he was busy trying to kill the other girl, and it his back and hair. When he tried to attack the girl with the gasoline, she quickly lit a match, setting him on fire. With that, Jeff angrily fled to the river nearby, jumping in. The fire goes out and he let the water run over him for a bit, before going back to his cabin.

When he goes to his bathroom to take a shower, he's met with his new face, burned and red. His long black hair had become thinner, some falling in his hand. But of course, he couldn't care less about appearances, so he took his shower. He continued killing, being dubbed 'The Butcher of the Woods'.