#i technically did this with Beau as well

[sagedearest]

I love interacting with people I admire on this app (usually other artists haha) and immediately going 'yeah we're basically best friends, I've known them my whole life'

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Echoes of the Solstice

You know it, you love it, it may return on an as-needed basis for Campaign 3 now that Allura has entered the narrative and we know the fate of Caleb, but no promises: it's the Wizard Breakdown Tracker! As a reminder, I now include PCs because I make the rules; wizard NPCs are included on the very scientific basis of "do I have something I think is kind of funny or meaningful to say" so as always, if I left someone off, it was on purpose specifically to annoy you.

Astrid Becke: well her boss is missing, Caleb has expressed concerns in private to Beau about all of the Assembly, apparently the king is bedridden and has been for some time, and I suspect news of unsealed things being unsealed gets to her quickly; even if she isn't aware of the events in Blumenthal yet, she's about to be. Also, it's the apogee solstice. 8/10; ever the opportunist, it is a good time for her to try to become head of the Assembly, but also shit's gone real sideways.

Eadwulf Grieve: lost his title of hottest mage (men's division) to one Fjord Stone during the last Nicodranas County Fair and has been sulking ever since but more importantly the temple of the Raven Queen is doing Not Great Bob as of like an hour ago so a rare Eadwulf stress moment. 7/10.

Planerider Ryn: just lost her arm...but is unaware of it, so that's probably helping. technically cannot be calculated because she is a rock but spiritually like an 8/10 and that's only because she is remarkably unflappable; she just witnessed the Malleus Key and that should drive anyone up to a 10.

Allura Vysoren: has absolutely sensed a disturbance in the force weave and I'm sure Kima's feeling some bad vibes from Bahamut right now, but rather like Ryn she actually has some degree of sangfroid, a concept unheard of in the entire continent of Wildemount. 6/10.

Yussa Errenis: have you ever dealt with like, an ER Nurse, and unless something is actually exploding or someone is actually bleeding out they're like "yeah it be like that sometimes"? After you've been sucked into the Cognouza Hivemind while trying to do your silly little arcane investigations nothing short of the Calamity will ruffle you. He's an elf; he knows this solstice is wonky but also he knows this is Someone Else's Problem. Also Jester's left him alone for a whole 24 hours? Incredible. 2/10 and that's really just because he's still a little cranky about the disappearance of his blast scepter. As always: never change, king.

Prism Grimpoppy: by my calculations she's discovering that she's actually fucking incredible in combat right now. 0/10, she's doing GREAT.

Pumat Sol and sure, fuck it, Oremid Hass: I suspect the Zadash Wizard Contingent is dealing with some wild unsealed shit from the time of the Julous Dominion and they can't get in touch with anyone in the capital, but it's probably manageable. 4/10. On edge but not too bad.

Ludinus Da'leth: oh did your little plan to unleash the god-eater go a touch sideways? were you unprepared for the possibility of fucking all of magic? did you think it was going to be easy? did level 9 "Fuck Up Airship" and level 8 "Shield Against Werewolf" fail to save your bitch ass? As we've seen, he'll scramble and recover, unfortunately, but it's a well-deserved 9/10 right now. I love to see a plan fall apart.

Trent Ikithon: OH this motherfucker has LOST IT in prison. Like...he was able to put together a pretty elaborate situation, to be clear, but also he's gone bugfuck nuts and does not really improve. I think he's already broken down from the start having clearly been planning this exact scenario from the moment of his imprisonment honestly given that he appears to be going off of the frissons he picked up from Caleb and Essek shortly before he was captured, but regardless: he definitely ends it at a 10/10. Stuck in an egg for eternity, if he's even still a separate entity from Omentis. A well-deserved fate if ever there was one. Get fucked lol.

Veth Brenatto: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 10/10 you know she watched Luc leap through the teleportation circle as it closed and has been shrieking loud enough to be heard at the Chateau.

Luc Brenatto: the arrogance and naivete of youth insulate him initially, but Aggy's demise probably spikes it to a solid 6 minimum and it's definitely 9 during the battle. It goes back down pretty quickly though; see Caleb's entry.

Caleb Widogast: he keeps it together pretty well, honestly! Still I have to imagine he's kind of at a 7 or so this entire time with occasional spikes to 9 (NEIN) throughout, and I wouldn't fault him for finishing up the Blumenthal Brunch and then quietly locking himself in a soundproof tower room to scream, cry, and throw up for a while. Indeed, I would encourage it; Caleb should go have a good cry and hug a magic cat for a couple hours until he feels better, and then come back down to find that everyone except the clerics but DEFINITELY including Luc has implemented Spontaneous Apogee Solstice Oktoberfest to celebrate the demise of Trent, the engagement of Fjord and Jester, and the general experience of being alive, and is varying degrees of extremely wasted. This will of course bring him back up to like 7 as he realizes he has to return a hungover teenager to Veth and then goes down to a 4 or so when he realizes the clerics can fix that and Veth will probably be so glad that Luc is alive she'll ignore the rest of it.

Essek Thelyss: Our international drow of mystery looms large in the narrative, but does not make an appearance, which makes this premise extremely funny. I assume he's feeling kind of rough given that the Dynasty wizards are well-attuned to leylines and I would imagine he picks up that Sending isn't working and was broadly aware Caleb was going into danger, so he's certainly stressed, but Trent doesn't actually seem to know Where in Exandria is Essek Thelyss and is merely threatening blackmail. Honestly while we're at it, we don't know where Essek is because I wouldn't put it past Mr. Geometer Owner to have been at a solstice nexus and to have possibly experienced his own Solstice Shunting. In fact I assume Essek is blissfully unaware of these specific goings on re: Trent and is just experiencing The Anxiety for all of the previous reasons. (1d6+3)/10.

Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk: Hmmm. Things becoming unsealed, you say? The uninvited guest list (The Real Gelidon, Isharnai) for The TusktoothStone-Lavorre wedding may have gained an extra entry.

[princess-ibri]

Tangled Unbraided

For ages I've wanted to find a way to use the old fractured fairytale idea of "Rapunzel Unbraided" Disney was going to do in the early 2000s, and decided to just go ahead and show what I've got. So here's some sketches of how the main characters would appear in this hypothetical Tangled spin off movie:

The original synopsis for Unbraided ran as thus:

“An evil witch named Lucretia despised fairy tale happy endings and plotted to change all that. Meanwhile in modern day San Francisco, Claire and Vince are two vastly opposite teenagers who cannot stand one another. Claire is a short haired, fashion obsessed teen who was concerned with her looks. Vince is a stocky and crude pizza delivery boy on hard times. The two of them get on each other's nerves which gets the attention of Lucretia in the fairy tale realm. Lucretia takes Rapunzel and her prince Beau and transforms them into a squirrel and dog, respectively, while Claire and Vince find themselves filling their roles. Claire and Vince eventually team up with Rapunzel and Beau to defeat Lucretia and return to their respective places in time. “

---

And I'd want to follow the basic plot of that, though with changes with what we have from the actual Tangled movie. But basically two teens from 2007 San Francisco (why not make it a 'period' piece with all this Y2K nostalgia going on that makes no sense to me, a Y2K kid x) get reverse Enchanted and find themselves in the Everrealm. Searching for a way home, mentored by a talking squirrel and dog that claim to be famous fairytale characters also trying to regain their human forms.

The reason the witch tries to recreate the Rapunzel story with two people who are unlikely to give it a happy ending is that she's trying to make a spell to warp reality and bring about another golden flower (so that we can have the one that eventually shows up in Sofia the First) and so gain immortality for herself.

My ideas for the growth journeys each character goes on in this hypothetical movie is of course that Claire and Vince both learn to be more comfortable with themselves/find their real potential, as well as learn that its ok to trust others emotionally, both in a platonic sense with Eugene and Rapunzel mentoring them, and romantically with eachother as they get closer.

Rapunzel and Eugene would have this be an opportunity for them both to work through the concerns they both have about being parents. Sure they both have better parental relationships now, but both grew up with either abusive or absent parents (and then hyper protective ones in Rapunzel's case with Frederick) and though they both want kids they're afraid they might still mess it up. So, getting to help these two teens find themselves and their way home gives them a sense of the type of parents they'll be, and that they'll be ok in the end.

(They also all eventually find out Claire is their many times descendent and thats why she looks like Rapunzel so much, and why the spell called her into Rapunzel's place)

For the Witch I decided to change her name from Lucretia as I already had a character with that name for the Bluebeard story. I still wanted her to have some actual connection to the og Rapunzel fairytale, and a way to know about the Sundrop flower, and while I know we already had Cass as Gothel's kid, per my DisneyVerse she did have more then one over those many many years 😅😬

We already had a benevolent version of another Gothel daughter with my rewrite of Ginny, so I decided this time we'd get to focus on a malevolent one, so our villain for this story is Azalea.

(I based her looks on one of the tree nymphs from Gothel's backstory in OUAT, old Gothel/witch concept art and her name was inspired by Alice from OUAT being Gothel's daughter, just with a sharper sounding plant name x)

Also here's some original concept art of the Rapunzel Unbraided story treatment!

(Some of these might technically be from the Rapunzel treatment but I feel they fit the story anyway)

Also some video! A rough animatic overview of the whole story

And a more polished small clip of Claire and Squirrel Rapunzel

But yeah that's my rough little idea of how I'd incorporate the Rapunzel Unbraided concept/characters into the Disneyverse :)

[supernovasilence]

Casmund au: Edmunds mother calling Caspian Edmund's beau. Since shes the first to come around she soon adores Caspian and how much he makes her son happy(if she could she'd brag about him to her lady friends at tea) Caspian is Helen's favorite in law. Even though technically Casmund is not married(they might be in Narnia)

I'm dying because yes, Helen would love Caspian. He makes her son so happy and he's handsome and charming and a perfect gentleman and she absolutely would brag about him at tea. She calls him her son and everything thinks she means he's like a son because he's orphaned and a dear family friend. But secretly she means son-in-law. Except then I started thinking about Caspian and Edmund being married in Narnia and now I have so many ideas.

Imagine right before the final battle in VDT, Caspian realizing it's now or never and asking Edmund "In case we don't get through this...will you marry me?"

Edmund is shocked because you're asking this now? They might die, and even if they don't, they both know this is the reason Edmund, Lucy, and Eustace were brought to Narnia; they will likely not stay long after the battle. That's exactly why, Caspian tells Edmund. If they only have a little time left together, Caspian wants Edmund to be fully his for it.

So they have a very hasty wedding (Drinian officiates, Lucy is Edmund's best man and Reepicheep is Caspian's), they fight sea serpents, and then they have to say goodbye.

OR imagine Caspian telling Edmund "In case we don't get through this...I want you to know I think of you as my brother" because he wants to ask Edmund to marry him but loses his nerve at the last moment. Wouldn't it be cruel, to offer Edmund his heart and his hand right when they are about to be separated? But after the battle Aslan tells Caspian "There is a question you did not ask earlier, but this is a place of endings and beginnings both. It would be meet to ask it here." Caspian asks Edmund to marry him, Edmund says yes, and Aslan marries them, there at the edge of the world.

OR OR there's the comedy version. I wrote a fic (Favor for a Knight) where the ring Caspian wears in VDT is an old one of Edmund's that Caspian took from Cair Paravel's treasure vault after PC, thinking he'd never see Edmund again. What if there's some quirk of Narnia law and oops, they're now legally married? Caspian doesn't realize until Edmund and Lucy tell him. Caspian is horrified he forced a king of old into marriage, and Edmund thinks Caspian was trying to wear a momento of Susan's, and both keep insisting they'll figure out how to dissolve the marriage because they think the other one wants to. Meanwhile Lucy can see they're both head over heels and is trying so hard to get them to tell each other. So hard. They're both pining oblivious disasters.

But no matter what scenario, they have to say goodbye, and then Caspian gets his second chance in England. And one day Helen is sighing that it's a shame Edmund and Caspian can't get married. And they look at each other, and Edmund awkwardly says, "well...we sort of already are."

(Helen is delighted and also so disappointed she missed it. They have another, private ceremony out in the country at the Professor's house so she and the rest of the family can attend.)

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

When you finish a first draft, how does it look? Is it readable or does it have more holes than a swiss cheese? What are your next steps, and how much changes?

Hey Elli! Happy STS!

First of all - I believe every idea is at least somewhat salvageable. I hope to one day get to the point where I somehow managed to adapt the short stories I "wrote" when I was in kindergarten.

Okay my first drafts are...weird. They differ greatly from most people. Let's talk about a few examples so I can explain.

The Secret Portal

Started as a school project in fourth grade (age 10). It is readable but it's so silly. Mainly because I was ten. I've somehow managed to string it together into what it is now but the first act is the only recognizable thing.

The second version of TSP I wrote over a year later. My first step was to make it longer and have chapters. That was about it.

The third version was about a year after that. I decided I didn't like my story ideas to be stretched out across a whole book, so I combined the first two books into one. I alternated the POV and worked more on the details. My descriptions and characterization was better, though I was constrained by the limitations of following the older drafts.

The fourth version was a year and a half after that. We're nearing the end of eighth grade - I'm 14. I'd done a lot of other writing but I decided to go back to TSP. This time, I had full scenes and character introductions and even a halfway decent (emphasis) prologue. Pacing was getting better, and the story beats made more sense. I alternated POV, but realized the need for it being very deliberate whose perspective I was in.

One hole I figured out was how to differentiate my heroes and villains. Jedi and Carmen originated as villain roles but when I thought about it making them good, or honestly extremely morally gray, made a lot more sense. I soon developed a plot, a world, character arcs...

While I refer to all of it as Draft Four, I kept up with this version for so long there are technically multiple drafts of TSP in this section. I didn't start the document over until 2021.

How did I go on from here? Well, I focused on refining story beats. Characters and their voices. General pacing and descriptions. World building.

So definitely not a traditional process lol.

More detailed behind the scenes is linked in my intro post

School of the Legends

I basically hit the reset button every time. I had the idea of "fairy tale retelling" for years.

For SOTL, I did write a dual first person POV short story with Úrsula and Beau and discover third person worked better. But as SOTL it technically only has five chapters drafted. I'd say that just tossing out everything worked here.

Other

Most of the others I wrote as a kid and as I grew older I modified it to my current maturity level, taking the same plot points and fleshing them out. When I was 13+ I started outlining and planning more details and characters. More plot twists and arcs.

Sooo I don't really have the typical first draft experience. Essentially what I do is this:

Nothing is unsalvageable.

Figure out what is salvageable.

Write down ideas I have during reading old drafts.

Identify the holes.

Figure out how to fill the holes/brainstorm

Figure out everything you still don't know

???

Profit

Hope this was a satisfactory answer lol

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @fairy-tales-of-yesterday

[adiduck]

WIP Game - Cyclone Five Times

Aaaaaand we have completed the Cyclone sentences as well! :DDDDD Y'all voted for 82 sentences. I'm not quite going to give you all of those (you'll just have to trust me I wrote a bit more than that), but considering just HOW MUCH everyone voted for this one, I'm going to give you an entire scene. Enjoy!

-

“I’m sorry, sir,” the poor asshole Maintenance sent to talk to Beau said, “but it’s definitely just broken.”

Beau stared at the kid silently, praying for patience. “I know,” he said. “I noticed it was broken when the lock kept popping out, preventing the door from closing.”

“Yes, sir,” the kid said, miserably.

“That’s why I called Maintenance.”

“Yes, sir.”

“So,” Beau continued, sitting back, “my question is: when can you fix it?”

The kid looked like only training was stopping him from wringing his hands in anguish. Beau would feel bad, except that he had definitely reported this last week, and he was still having to double check that the door had closed properly every time he had a meeting or phone call.

“Sir,” he said. “Unfortunately, the lock just needs to be replaced, sir.”

“Okay,” Beau said—very patiently, he thought. “When can you have the lock replaced by?”

“We’ve ordered a new lock, sir,” the kid said.

Beau shut his eyes and counted backwards from ten. “Okay, sailor, I’m going to be frank with you,” he said, as he opened his eyes. He folded his hands on the desk. The kid stared at him, utterly transfixed. “At the moment, the door is a risk to opsec. If I can’t close it consistently, technically, someone who is not supposed to hear something could walk by and hear anything going on in this office.”

“Yes, sir,” the kid said, utterly miserable.

“Now, I can just tell people about that,” Beau continued. “I’ve discovered if you hold the door lock as you close the door, that it won’t engage until the door’s closed. Problem with that,” he stressed, “is that then people can’t get into my office when I need them to.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I think you understand why that’s not acceptable,” Beau said. “I’m going to need you to do something about the lock so that I can be assured that people will be able to enter my office, and once they’re inside, my door will close and stay closed.”

“Yes, sir.”

Cyclone waited for literally anything else. He waited a full thirty seconds.

The kid stared back.

“So?” he prompted finally.

“I could just… take the lock out, sir,” the kid said. “You wouldn’t be able to lock your door, sir, but it would… close. And stay closed.”

Beau nodded. “Great,” he said. “That seems reasonable. Please go ahead and remove the lock. How long is that going to take?”

“Ah—only a few minutes, sir,” the kid said. “I’ll just—have to go get a screwdriver.”

Beau sighed and looked at the time. Shit, he thought. Maintenance was clear on the other side of the building. It’d take this kid a while just to get there to get his tools, and Beau was meeting Maverick Mitchell in fifteen minutes.

“Okay,” he said. “I have a meeting in fifteen that I need to be relatively private, so that’s not going to work.”

The kid winced.

Beau took another breath to hold onto his patience. He really did get it—no newly enlisted kid wants to have to tell his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s boss’s boss news he doesn’t want to hear. “That’s fine,” he said. “It’s going to be pretty short, all told, so if you can come back in an hour, that’d be ideal.”

The kid relaxed incrementally. “Yes, sir,” he said.

Thank fuck. “Great,” Beau said. “Dismissed, then.”

He watched as the kid scampered out.

The door smacked off the engaged lock and swung back open again.

Beau closed his eyes and counted back from twenty. Then he got up, walked to the door, unlocked it, and held the lock open as he firmly closed it. The door immediately locked itself.

Beau covered his eyes, and then unlocked the door, opening it slightly. The lock engaged. Beau let it go, and let it bounce gently against the door frame. Fine. That was fine. He’d just tell Maverick to hold the lock open as he closed the door. Being locked into a room with Mitchell wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but sometimes, when one was an airboss, one must complete unpleasant activities for the good of the Navy.

He ignored the fact that he was emphatically doing this one entirely to himself. For the sake of his sanity. Especially, he reminded himself, since this morning he’d actually had his assistant move the meeting up to accommodate a meeting with an Admiral he’d been trying to get on the phone for three weeks. Apparently, if he had simply not done that, his door could have been in working order during the meeting with Mitchell, and then they wouldn’t have been in the uncomfortable position of either being overheard or being locked together in Beau’s office.

At least this particular meeting was going to be short.

Feeling somewhat defeated, he turned around and went back to his desk. The day was young, after all, and his to-do list was only getting longer by the moment.

-

[critter-genfic-events]

Found Family : A Critical Role Gen-fic Rec List

And so it begins! Please enjoy our first Gen-Fic rec list, featuring 10 great fan fics nominated by our community! Oh, and don't forget to show the authors some love if you liked their work!

The Harrowed and the Haunted by PryingBlackbird (13383,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Caleb & Nott

An exploration of Caleb and Nott meeting in a prison cell and growing close before the campaign.

Reccer says: How two skittish, traumatized people learn to trust and care for each other.

hope is a thing that waits by royalgreen (allyoop) (328,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek Thelyss & The Mighty Nein

Essek gets used to his new post and yearns for his friends

Reccer says: It really captures the essence of time well, and how that impacts the yearning

Winter by Clare_Hope (5780,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Orym & Bells Hells

Halflings hibernate in the cold, but it's a very vulnerable state, and Orym isn't sure he's ready for that. The Bells Hells are there for him though

Reccer says: amazing hurt/comfort

Don't Expect Payment by ohjustdisarmalready (11700,General) Warnings: no Pairings: Jester & Molly, Molly & M9, Molly & Yasha, Molly & Caleb & Jester, Jester & M9

Molly and Jester using infernal with each other and the nein over time

Reccer says: fic of characters speaking different languages is always fun

Catch A Falling Star by RainyDayDecaf (1038,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss

The Mighty Nein find a Feebleminded Drow and try to take care of him as best as they can

Reccer says: It's all very sweet

For Inside There Is Love by Professor_Rai (5484,General) Warnings: None Pairings: The Mighty Nein & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

Caleb's room in the tower has very little to show that it is his. The Mighty Nein take matters into their own hands.

Reccer says: Nothing

Anything You Can Do (I Can Sorta Do Too) by Schistosity (2597,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast

Did you know wizards technically have proficiency in quarterstaves?

Reccer says: Nothing

A Name Pronounced by Moonsp1r1t (2398,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Caleb Widogast & Everyone

The man once known as Bren reflects on his new name and what has given it meaning

Reccer says: Nothing

both my broken hands are true by quothhh (1805,Teen) Warnings: none Pairings: Caleb Widogast & Veth Brenatto

In a world where Veth never becomes Nott, she and Caleb still find each other

Reccer says: There's some wonderful lines in it, but it really gets to the found family aspect of two broken, lonely people finding each other and supporting one another.

Festivals of Light by Operafloozy (21202,Teen) Warnings: none Pairings: none

Caleb, Beau, Fjord, Veth and Essek have Feelings about various winter Holidays. The rest of the mighty nein help.

Reccer says: I like that it shows a range of different traditions and a range of different ways people can feel ambivalent about the holidays. But the way that the Nein come together to help - at least in most of the stories - adds to the found family feels.

If you liked this rec list, follow along for more! We'll be posting a new list with a new theme each Monday. And if you would like to make a rec yourself, feel free to reach out to @professor-rye to request access to the submission form! Next week's theme is Queer-Platonic!

[esta-elavaris]

Flufftober Day 27: Outdoor Event ~ Cullen Rutherford/F!Inquisitor [1,526 words]

My Flufftober '23 masterpost can be found here 💜✨

Evelyn’s sense of satisfaction over just how nicely they’d managed to clean up Skyhold was dampened around the exact moment Josephine deemed it good enough to throw its first ever soiree. But her arguments that the roof could, and absolutely would, cave in any minute now fell on deaf ears – especially when Josephine informed her that what she had planned would take place in the gardens, anyway. Cullen’s dry addition that he wasn’t sure the sky was too structurally sound either, however, did draw a laugh out of her – which, in turn, drew a smirk from him when Josephine’s back was turned.

Ever since her near-death experience back at Haven, he’d been more…warm with her. Not that he’d been cold beforehand, just more tentative. That one night had shown them that there was little time for that, and the result was that they were driving everybody in the castle mad with whatever was blossoming between them. For they could not rush this, either.

In the end, Josephine proved a formidable opponent, and Evelyn found herself trapped in the gardens one brilliant summer day, decked out in a gown of white lace with an entire greenhouse’s worth of roses atop her head. She had to admit the finished effect was rather fine. And that opinion was reinforced when Cullen entered the gardens, caught sight of her, and stopped short in the doorway, staring as though stunned into stillness. He only moved when one of the guests stuck in the hallway behind him complained – and even then, he only looked away long enough to side-step his way into the garden without bumping into anybody before those golden-brown eyes of his were once again fixed on her.

She smiled, although she couldn’t do so too smugly, for he was not the only one staring. While Evelyn had been privy to the argument between he and Josephine as to whether he could wear his armour to this thing – and Josephine’s adamant insistence that if he did, it would have all of the guests worried that he suspected another attack from Corypheus was eminent – she never could have guessed that he’d come like this. Like…like one of the heroes from the novels Cassandra thought none knew she read.

Garbed in a dazzling crimson coat, a slightly darker gold-embroidered waistcoat beneath which covered all but the collar of the white linen shirt beneath, and dark brown breeches and boots, had she not known him, Evelyn wouldn’t have questioned it if she’d been told he was a neighbouring prince or king or some such thing. Although given her experience with nobles and royals, she was rather glad he was not. Even if the King of Ferelden had eventually written to apologise for his foul mood at Redcliffe.

“See something you like, Inquisitor?”

Sometime during their staring contest, Varric had materialised at her side and was now offering her a very self-satisfied smirk. She started, and then recovered quickly, looking away and snorting.

“Shut up.”

“Now you sound like the Seeker. I have to say, I do feel like your beau stole my look.”

“Not enough chest on display for that, I think.”

“Much to your devastation, I’m sure,” Varric teased.

“Did you need something, Varric, or did you just come to poke your nose into my personal life?”

“The latter,” he admitted happily. “I was going to ask if either you or Curly had made a move yet.”

“Excuse me?”

They hadn’t – neither of them. In Evelyn’s case, it was because she was the Inquisitor, and that technically made her Cullen’s boss. It would be inappropriate if she…well. And he hadn’t because…well, she didn’t know why. But she was sure he had a very good reason.

“I’m curious.”

“Varric, if you’re writing a book about us, I swear-”

“Would I do that?”

“Yes.”

He chuckled. “Listen…there may or may not be gold on the matter.”

“On whether we’ll-”

“On when. There’s no if about it.”

“You’re betting on us?”

“Only within your inner circle – you have my word that beyond it, we’re all very professional and we dutifully pretend we have no idea what all of the talk is about.”

Evelyn groaned. “Who? You, obviously. Sera, I’m guessing. Probably Dorian, too, because he’s been very curious lately. Are there any others?”

“Just one.”

“Bull?”

“Nah, he won’t have anything to do with it. Unprofessional, unfair advantage, the whole deal. Although he did hint that he’d be open to advising bets if we sweetened the deal.”

“Blackwall?” she guessed.

“Please, he’d fall on his sword before he speculated on the infallible Inquisitor’s love life,” he shook his head, as if disappointed in her thinking.

“Who, then?”

“I think answering would put my life on the line.”

Only two people in Skyhold could have him saying such a thing, and Cassandra would never involve herself in something like this.

“Not Leliana?” she stared in disbelief.

The dwarf grinned.

“She had none of Bull’s qualms about unfair advantages. We had to add the condition that she wouldn’t use anything her spies saw or heard, but she still sees everything the rest of us don’t when that War Room door closes behind you.”

“Yes, because that’s the perfect setting for us to start stripping off,” she responded drily. “Leliana and Josephine could spectate. Offer constructive criticism – that sort of thing.”

“Now you really are giving me ideas for a book.”

“Varric.”

“I’m only teasing, Inquisitor. It’s good, you know. Seeing you get caught up in something not all about death, demons, and the end of the world for once.”

His tone took on such a tone of sincerity at the end that she found herself stunned into speechlessness – until finally, she breathed a quiet laugh and nodded.

“It is nice,” she admitted, albeit very quietly.

Even out here, in a garden full of guests vying to take the measure of her, along with hoping for a chance encounter that may lead them able to boast to their connections that they made Inquisitor Evelyn Trevelyan laugh with a clever joke, when she was off to one side trading glances with Cullen, she simply felt like a woman getting stupidly giddy because the man she liked smiled at her.

But, of course, the presence of the guests couldn’t be ignored for long. Varric had scarcely left her side for ten seconds before she was drawn into conversations that either treated her as an authority on the Maker’s will (which she found horrifying), saw her recounting her recent brush with death (again, she wasn’t a fan of that), or reciting what she’d learned of Skyhold’s origins and speculating on details of its architecture (which was…interesting, actually).

The sun had climbed high into the sky before she got a moment’s respite, bathing the gardens in golden light and warmth that should not have been possible this high in the mountains. It only added to the sense that there was something not entirely natural about this place. Whatever it was, though, it felt benevolent. Everything did, after the ruin of Haven.

She sought the shade under the gazebo, half-lamenting that she’d been too busy playing host to engage in more staring contests with Cullen – who was now woefully nowhere to be seen, perhaps having retreated to his tower after showing his face – when a hand touched her upper arm. Proper Inquisitor-appropriate smile already rising to her face, she turned and then felt the smile brightening and becoming sincere quite of its own volition. The man she’d just been thinking of stood beside her, holding a silver goblet of wine in offerance.

“You look like you could use it.”

“Not a fan of the ensemble Josephine and Leliana put together for me, then?” she teased lightly, accepting the wine and nodding her thanks.

“No! I mean yes, I…Maker’s breath- I didn’t mean…not that…” he trailed off, sighed, and then regarded her openly. “You look breathtaking, Evelyn.”

Her eyes widened before she could stop them, and he winced a little, folding his hands before her.

“I, er, apologise if that was too intense.”

“It wasn’t, Cullen,” she said quickly, “not at all. I was…thinking the same thing.”

Of course, then it was her turn to ramble nervously.

“About you, I mean – not myself. I’ll need a few more titles under my belt before I reach that point.”

He chuckled, his shoulders loosening as the nerves slipped away. “Well, should you reach that point I could hardly fault you for seeing things as they are.”

Evelyn smiled, ducking her head if only so that the rest of the garden wouldn’t see how she blushed.

“I actually came to see if you wouldn’t be too worn out to have dinner with me – later, after this. In my tower. I thought it might be a nice way to decompress.”

When she lifted her head, her cheeks still blazed, but she didn’t care.

“I’d love that. Maybe then I can ask you whether you’d rather Varric, Leliana, Sera, or Dorian won a hefty bag of gold.”

Although when she then realised she’d have to explain that remark, she did rather regret bringing it up in the first place.

Links: AO3 -- FF.net -- flufftober masterpost -- dividers by cafekitsune

[icarus-does-fall]

I FINISHED THE REDACTED FIC <33

It's roughly 5 thousand words

I can write more to it if people like it, it's technically open ended- but yk see how it reads I guess ^_^

I might cry if I wrote the redacted boys wrong but I wrote this in less than a week all during the hours of 10pm-2am so 🤷‍♂️

Story under the cut (no shit)

Ambrosine Oliver Emory- Or Beau to his friends had just moved to Dahlia, he worked for a news network that crossed continents and before he was in Dahlia he had been living in Ireland for the past 6 months. The cherry on top? Beau was a fire elemental, and moving to Dahlia he’d finally be able to meet some other empowered folks, not to say that Ireland didnt have any empowered of their own, they just were a bit more long lived than he was used to, but it was a special sort of sight to be there during Halloween.

He’d just stepped off the aeroplane, the California heat as strong as ever even though it was nearly two in the morning. His hair was dishevelled and pulled back into a messy bun as he walked to collect his bags before making his way to his car that had been shipped ahead of him and had been waiting for days. He already had a small apartment set up for him thanks to work, all which so happened to be on the border of the Shaw pack territory- not that Beau knew this though.

David Shaw, the alpha of the Shaw pack, coincidentally the largest pack in the area. He’d been engaged up until a few years ago when his mate died, they’d been out on their own and a few of Quinns goons had gotten them cornered and caught off guard. They were found too late. It’d been only recently that Asher and Milo had convinced David to start trying the dating scene again, so far it hasn't gone well. That's what you get for leaving your love life in the hands of those two.

Now being the alpha of a pack meant a lot of things. It meant paperwork, meetings, politics, but it also meant being alerted when a new and unnamed empowered moved in too close to the territory and it also meant that he had to make sure that the new empowered wasn't someone insane or a danger to his pack.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

It’d only been a day after Beau had gotten moved in, he looked more put together than he did when getting off of the aeroplane. His hair was pulled back into a braid, he'd thrown on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. He'd just barely gotten the chance to get used to the time changes and take a shower when there was a knock on his door.

“Bloody hell- I don't even know anyone here yet and my door is already gettin’ banged on, there's no chance I’ve gone and pissed somebody off yet… Right?”

With a sigh and a slight drag of his feet from the couch to the door he opened it only to be faced with the one and only David Shaw. Now Beau wasn't an idiot, while he might not have known who exactly stood in front of him he knew the man had importance and power just from the aura he radiated.

“Oh- um… hello? How- Who- Can I help you with something… Mister…?”

David's response was blunt and to the point but it carried a husky and low sort of tone. “Shaw. David Shaw, pack alpha. You're the new empowered who's moved close to my territory, I'm here to make sure you're not a threat.”

Beaus' eyes widened a fraction after David's introduction and he laughed sheepishly, he leaned against his door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Oh… you're the Dahlia alpha that's nice to know… Do I invite you in, how does this work? I’ve never been uh… vetted before, I’m usually just allowed to live in places.”

David's eyebrow quirked, normally people were scared- or at the very least seemed more intimidated of him than this person was showing. He wasn't small and he had authority, he was… intrigued to say the least. “Just a short chat would suffice for now, no one here knows who you are, that's suspicious when you move in so suddenly, and you're too close to pack territory to simply ignore.”

“Okay then… Come on in I guess? Pardon the mess, I haven't gotten to finish unpacking just yet. My stuff was sent here before I was and a shower and watering my plants seemed to be a higher priority than unboxing dishes.”

He couldn’t stop the soft chuckle this newcomer seemed so scattered about that it reminded him of his friends. As he stepped into the apartment and took in the sight the warning was putting it lightly, the boxes and the mess was everywhere but even so it still left homey. “This isn't a way to live, you know. There's nowhere to walk- Or sit.”

Beau gave David a flat look and huffed slightly. “I said I was working on it, there's no need to get so judgy about it, damn.”

Davd’s lips pursed before he sighed and moved one of the smaller boxes off a chair and sat at the breakfast bar. “Apologies. Now you know who I am, just who are who exactly?”

“Shouldn't you, oh I don't know, know this already? You know I'm empowered but not my name, stalker vibes dude-”

He growled and his eyes narrowed in slight irritation. “I'm not a stalker, I just get updates on the empowered who move into pack territory, that doesn't mean I get your life story though.”

“Sure thing wolfy, as for my life story as you put it, my name's Ambrosine Emory but folks just call me Beau, it's easier, and I work for NPR. The news station so I get sent all over, this was just my next assignment. Nothin’ devious I promise.”

David's eyes narrowed further and he growled lowly, “Don't call me wolfy.”

“Yeah whatever, wolfy. So am I allowed to live in my apartment or are you gonna tell me no? Which I really don't think you can do.”

David's scowl deepened and he huffed. “Shut up- Just don't hurt the pack and yes you can stay. There's no rule against you living where you do, just against causing trouble.”

Beau grinned and laughed, leaning against the breakfast bar with a roll of his eyes as he was propped up on his arms. “Wooowww so graceful~ How ever should I say thank you for letting me stay in my own apartment.”

“You have an attitude, has anyone ever told you that you need to be more respectful sometimes?”

“I can be respectful! When I need to be, but just cause you're some alpha doesn't mean you automatically gain my respect, life doesn't work like that wolfy.”

“Whatever.”

Beau grinned further and tried to muffle his giggles. “Sure sure okay, you can whatever your way out of this one but not everything. Just sayin’... Soooo you sayin’ for coffee or, leaving so I can keep unpacking?”

David huffed and stood from the chair with a slight scowl on his features. “Just shut up and keep your nose clean, we’re gonna be keeping an eye on you alright.”

“Bye wolfy see you ‘round!”

“Fuck off. And stop calling me wolfy damnit.”

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David made his way back towards the pack house with a scowl on his face and the moment he walked through the doors he was immediately bombarded with questions about the new move in from Milo and Asher.

“Hey Davey! Back so soon? You scare off the new kid on the block already/

“Aww man does that mean I don't get to invite them over for game night? Maann I was looking forward to some fresh players.”

“Davids not in control of game night Milo, invite who you want, I wanna know what the new kids like? Anything interesting?”

“Will both of you shut up, please.” David rolled his eyes at the twos excitement and shook his head as he hung up his leather jacket and then walked towards the kitchen for a drink. “The move ins name is Beau, he's a fire elemental. Works for the news network, NRP- but I’m gonna do a little digging on him, something seemed off.”

“Off? Wanna explain any further on that maybe?”

“He didn't seem bothered by me being there, he treated me like just a regular visitor, like I couldn't absolutely destroy him, that's weird isn't it?”

“Oooor hear me out, you're overthinkin’ it and the dude is just a dude who knows he wasn't doing anything wrong? Not everyone is gonna be out to get ya David.”

“Maybe but it's still a possibility and you all are my responsibilities. And after…” David sighed and his grip on his drink tightened as he scowled. “And after Angel died because I failed I have to make sure that doesn't happen again. I can't lose anyone else important to me. It’s not happening”

The room after that got very quiet, very tense, it always did whenever Angel was brought up in that way. It was always easier to just think that them and David had broken up because they weren't around anymore but the truth was ugly and harsh and no one liked to face it.

“Sorry man, you know we didn't mean anything by it. We all miss ‘em you know.”

“I know, I know… I just need a minute, and keep an eye on the newbie alright? I just don't trust him.”

And with that David took his drink and walked off to his room. It was simply an over decorated place to hold a bed, what life and colour it held died away when Angel did, he moved out of his apartment- He had Asher and Sam help get his things, he could barely make it through the door, and then moved back into the back house. No more hosting solstice for him. He let out a guttural growl and slammed the door behind him as he walked into his room. It cracked. And broke the door jam, that was the fourth one in three months.

He sighed and under his breath as he sunk against the door spoke, “Damnit Angel, you fuckin’ perv why’d you have to die on me. We were getting married next spring, we had a plan damnit.”

David leaned his head against the broken door and sighed again before taking a sip of his drink. He could hear the concerned whispers of Milo and Asher on the other side of his door, this wasn't anything new and while David was coping he wasn't always coping healthily which was the problem. He worked till he dropped most nights and he hadn’t let himself cry since the day Angel died, he had people while somehow having no one all at the same time.

He didn't move from that position until the sun began to set, and the boys left after about 15 minutes of lingering after the door was first broken. While they knew their mates would understand if they stayed they also knew that there was nothing either of them could do to help David right now. They weren’t sure there was anyone who would be able to help pull David out of his new found darkness.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

While David was having his mental breakdown, Beau on the other hand was unpacking without a care in the world while jamming out to Metallica- Thank the gods that he didn't have any close by neighbours otherwise he'd be getting noise complaints on his very first day. But hed gotten the majority of his boxes unpacked and his apartment actually looked like a place that could be lived in now and not just a storage unit.

Beaus’ apartment was filled with thrifted goods, fairy lights, tapestries and posters of all sorts, it was warm and cosy, soft to an extent. He even had a few stuffed animals scattered about to act as throw pillows.

By the end of the night he was curled up on his couch, the TV was playing Wall-E and he’d made himself a cuppa tea. “I’d say today was productive, yeah? Got grilled by the alpha of the largest pack in Dahlia and then got my apartment unpacked… mostly… Now to just keep the big bad wolf off my back, that would be fantastic.”

He laughed to himself and took a sip of his tea as Wall-E and Eva danced across his TV screen and then eventually fell asleep just like that, all nestled up sleeping soundly on the couch with Disney classics playing in the background. That was of course until the sun rose the next day, by then he was being awoken by nonstop knocking at his door.

Gods above it wasn't even 9am yet. There wasn't even coffee made.

“Hey newbie! You awake? What’d you do to David last night that broke him when he came home?”

In Beaus' groggy state he simply glared at the door for a moment, grumbling to himself as he stood and shuffled over towards the door. “Fuckin’ cunts- First its the big bad wolfy saying imma blow everybody up, now its wolfys friend at the door to and its too damn early, better have coffee or imma be the problem wolfy fuckin think I am-”

He opened the door and stared at another hulking figure, well everyone was a hulking figure to Beau he wasn't exactly that tall, except this one had scruffy ash blonde hair and piercings galore. “Hey-”

“Nope, nononono, no pleasantries yet, it's too damn early- I just wanted you to stop bangin’ on my door. Here’s how this is gonna work. If you really need to talk, you're gonna wait until I've had my coffee and then we can chat. Hear me?”

Asher nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. Beau was direct and almost a little harsh, he didn't hold back. That was appreciated, he had a feeling that his new move in was gonna be a good addition to their little life. “Yeah yeah I can wait, shoulda brought coffee to streamline the process huh- I’ll remember.”

Beau grumbled and rolled his eyes before walking towards his kitchenette, Asher following closing the door behind him as Beau put on a pot of coffee. As it started to brew he merely leaned against the counter and crossed his arms watching how Asher seemed to take in every part of his apartment.

“Okay I can't do the creepy silence, even if im not totally awake yet- Who are you besides wolfys friend?”

Asher chuckled and raised an eyebrow, “wolfy? And he hasn't gone off on you for callin’ him that? hell i still get shit for callin’ him Davey. Names Asher, friends call me Ash. I'm David's beta in the pack, i've known him his whole life and he came back to the pack house just off last night yaknow? Wanted to see what the two of you could’ve talked bout to see ‘im off like that.”

Beau cracked a smile at that and had to stop himself from laughing. “Wait, wait, wait, you think I broke the big bad wolf? That’s hilarious, I didn't do nothin to the guy, he’s the one who barged in here, insulted my house- apartment- whatever and then threatened me. All I did was ask if he wanted a cuppa coffee.”

“Wait- thats it- You sure?”

“I was there, of course Im fuckin sure”

“Obviously but something happened to cause him to basically shut down, he broke another door last night so.”

“He broke a door? I mean I’ve caught a few things on fire when I've forgotten myself but a door christ I didnt think me moving in was that big of a deal, no one else has ever cared before.”

“Well… We’ve had some problems recently, not just the pack but like off in Dahlia- Rouge vampires and shit, people have died and no one knows you, hell you're moving in from a different country so Davids just being cautious.”

Beau was about to say something when the kettle whistled for his coffee and so he turned his attention from Asher towards the stove top and put together his coffee, pouring in his cream and sugar and basked in the heat of it as he sighed happily before he spoke up again. “So empowered folks have died here? Cause some crazy vamp, and wolfy here thinks I'm somehow involved? I work for a new network- I think the most dangerous thing I’ve done is skydive.”

“David gets protective sometimes, more so after his mate died. He’s been a wreck, he's back to acting just like when his dad died all over again. It's a hard sight to see but he means well, honestly he does.” Asher paused and then grinned and laughed. “Wait wait, you've gone skydiving? Like jumping out of a plane skydiving?”

“Yeah we went for my cousin's birthday some time ago- He’s an air elemental… And well he didn't really wanna go skydiving but his partner and their friends thought it'd be a really cool idea and I was in town that weekend so I got dragged along. Laskos’ a bit of an airhead sometimes but he's really sweet and we don't have the greatest relationship with our families so we tend to stick together like glue.”

“Damn newbie who would've thought you'd be adventurous, you just seem more like a homebody than anything else.”

“I don't know if I should be offended by that or not but uh.. Thanks? Maybe?”

“Sure thing newbie, now since you're living close to pack territory, you planning on meeting any of 'em or just lurking near the edge of the grounds?”

“I could but uh incase you're forgetting there, I am kinda tiny compared to you lot and I'm not a shifter? I play with fire. Not sure how it works down here in Dahlia but most places I've lived the empowereds don't really just mingle unless it's important.”

“Sure for the most part but not really, we all kinda just hang, there's no real separation yaknow? C’mon I’ll introduce ya to your new neighbours newbie.”

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David that morning however looked broken, he always did after a night thinking about Angel. It had been years since their death but by the gods above he wasn't moving on, no he was simply just burying every emotion and breaking things to deal with the emotions he felt. He knew, he knew he needed to talk, he barely was getting over his dad's death and that was thanks to Angel and then they go and get killed- He simply lost it. He was a shell of the, not more open man that Angel made him but he was different around them and he’d lost that spark.

He had bags under his eyes and his usual put together self looked like he was slowly falling apart. He was doing all he could to stay together, to keep everyone together. Groggily he made his way towards the kitchen only to be greeted with the sight of Asher and Beau in his kitchening laughing having a grand old time.

He stood in the doorway and stared for a few moments before sighing and walking into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. “Morning Ash… and others.”

“Hey Davey! I dragged the newbie over, figured he could do with some friends and since he's living close to the pack, thought I could introduce him to some of the folks here. Milo and Sam are swinging by later to hang out too. Same mentioned something ‘bout bringing Porter on by too but that's still up in the air.”

Beau was sitting on one of the kitchen counters and rolled his eyes as David and Asher spoke. “Dramatic little wolves- Are we sure I really need that many friends? That sounds like a lot of people there pretty boy-”

Asher simply grinned and ruffled Beaus' hair with a laugh. That simple action caused a surge of feelings through David and he wasn't sure why. He was blaming it on lack of sleep. “Don't worry about it newbie, they're all great people, and I'm sure everyone will get along great with you.”

David scowled and huffed quietly as he poured his coffee into a mug and then leaned against the counter to face Asher. “And you thought it was a good idea to bring a stranger into the pack house? Do you know the consequences if something goes wrong?”

“Oh chill out the newbie isn't some axe murderer, he's actually pretty chill.”

“Hmpf”

Beau grinned widely and laughed a bit as he changed positions a bit to sit cross legged on the counter he was sitting on. “Hey, maybe I am some crazy axe murderer! Don’t take away all my fun just cause wolfy here doesn't trust me.”

“How many damn times do I have to tell you not to call me Wolfy? My name is David for gods sake you war criminal.”

“Oh for fucks sake, its too early in the day for you to be this pissy isnt it? Don't you know how to relax and have fun?”

“I can have fun when my home isn't possibly being threatened.”

Beau huffed and blew out a stream of smoak from his nose. “I can show you being threatened if you want to be threatened. Dont fuck with me wolfy.”

David snarled and placed down his coffee, taking a step clear to Beau as Asher shifted awkwardly from foot to foot before laughing awkwardly and then began to walk out of the kitchen.

“O-okay, I'm just gonna- go… Have fun? I guess? And here I thought I was gonna introduce the newbie to people today and make friends.”

They both ignored Asher as he left, unbeknownst to them, Asher was pouting as he walked out of the pack house and got onto a call with his mate to complain about the whole being ignored situation, if anyone would listen to him Babe would.

“Aww if the big bad wolf all mad cause I called him out on his bullshit?~”

“You haven't done anything except piss me off so why don't you just stop talking.”

Beau smirked and leaned forward on the counter letting his legs dangle over the edge. “Why don't you come make me shut up wolfy?”

David's eyes narrowed and he took another step closer to Beau and the counter. He was now within a foot of him, his hands placed on either side of Beau on the counter and his voice was a gruff whisper. “I am more than capable of making you shut up you war criminal.”

Beau flushed slightly, and his voice turned breathy, it wouldn't have been noticeable to a normal person, but to a shifter, David caught the change in tone though, it nearly made him smirk but he was still a bit too pissed to pay attention to how he was feeling despite what he was doing. “Prove it then wolfy cause I don't think you got it in you. I think I’d burn you.”

With a growl David closed the space between them, pulling Beau in for a kiss. David's lips were rough compared to the softness of Beaus’ yet together it was a slow yet still heated and almost electric feelling. “I said, shut up.”

The kiss broke away after a few moments and while Beau was blushing, David seemed shocked by his own actions and took a step back before simply walking away, he looked to be in a daze. He walked out to the porch where Asher was sitting, still on the phone talking with Babe.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤..𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

David took the open seat next to Asher, his face was pale but now also flushed red as he buried his face into his hands and groaned. “Ash, I think I fucked up.”

“Oh so now you wanna talk to me? I’ll call you back Babe, now Davey here wants to acknowledge my presence. Soooo what did you do?~”

“I kissed him- I didn't mean to either, but I did, we were arguing and I kissed him, and it wasn't a bad kiss either. What about Angel? I-I know they're gone but damnit Ash it feels wrong to move on from them.”

Asher's smug grin slowly faded into a knowing look and he smiled softly as he clasped David on the shoulder. “Oh man… You know it's okay to feel happy and do things again? I mean, I know Milo and I tried to set you up a few times but you just depression scared those people away, this guy those, he has a fire and I think it set something off in you… And we both know that Angel would’ve wanted you to keep living, not stick around to be some stick in the mud for the rest of your life.”

David sighed and looked over towards Asher through the corner of his eye. “Are we sure about this cause I still love Angel, they were my everything and- Christ Ash I kissed him and just walked out on the guy!”

Asher held back a laugh and grinned as he shook his head. “You idiot, you walked out on the guy you just made out with?”

David flushed slightly and huffed. “We didn't make out, it was one kiss, okay? One.”

“Oh with how messed up you are right now I’d say there’s gonna be more than just one singular kiss in your future Davey.”

David scowled and he growled quietly but he was still blushing. He hated to admit it but Asher was right, Angel would’ve preferred he moved on with his life and not stick to the past but their wedding would've been this month, he was a whirlwind of emotions and he could figure out which ones were which. “I hate you Ash.”

“I know Davey, now go talk to the pretty boy that you left in there and talk to him.”

“And if I don’t? Think I’ll fuck up my future chances or think he’ll walk out here to follow me?”

“Oh please, you're a good looking guy David but I don't think that the newbie is that desperate for a piece of your ass.”

David huffed and lightly shaved Asher, holding in a laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Oh fuck off Ash, he kissed me back, you dont just do that if youre not at least somewhat into the other person… Right?”

“I don't know man, you know how me and my mate got together- I kinda just do what they say… Mostly… But just go back in there and talk to him, tell him about all the things, I promise he’s a chill guy- He’ll understand.”

David sighed and his head dropped again before he stood and began to walk back into the house to where he left Beau sitting onto the counter. Beau now however was finishing off David's coffee and raiding the fridge as David walked back into the kitchen, he grinned cheekily. “You do that to every guy you kiss? Just walk off right after?~”

“No- No typically it leads to something else, I just haven't really kissed anyone in a while- It was… unexpected”

Beau grinned teasingly and laughed softly as he closed the fridge door. “Right… Can’t blame you for that, so uh… Why haven't you kissed anyone in so long? You get mono and go comatose for a year?”

“Well… My mate, they died a few years back- I doubt you know much about whats happened in Dalhia but theres a vampire running about named Quinn- some of his goons caught my mate out on their own and next thing any of us knew they were bleeding out in my arms and I stopped kissing people after that.” He laughed nervously and shrugged, “Milo and Ash tried a couple times to get me to date but I scared all their options away.”

Beau paused at that, his smile faded completely and he placed down the stolen mug of coffee. “O-oh… Oh shit- Im sorry, Im not fucking up your grieving process am I? Being a menace and kissing back- I know how tough that stuff is… I could've pulled away if I knew you were going through some things.”

David chuckled softly and placed his hands on Beaus' shoulders. “No it's fine, be a menace- hell Ash said that is what is probably helping me pull me out of my dark and scary place. I walked out cause, I still love my mate but you invoke some type of feelings in me too, I wasn't sure what to do about that.”

“Oh- Alright, sooo do I get another kiss or is this just gonna be an awkward thing till someone bucks up and does something about your dark place?”

“We take it slow, I might feel things but I'm still ‘dark and scary’… But I can spare one more kiss, for now.”

“You're not scary wolfy~”

David growled playfully as he pressed close against Beau, his lips grazing his ear. “Oh shut up you little criminal.”

And as soon as David stopped talking he leaned in for another kiss which Beau quickly responded to.

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Tags-

@froggytimemachineinternet

@definitelynuwonhere

[angryschnauzer]

I wonder what henrys reaction would be to you watching a film he's in but you didn't know he was in it before you started watching.

Since you'd moved in with Henry there were some basic ground 'rules' or agreements put in place, mostly so that when you were both there and not off on filming schedules you didn't get under each others feet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but spending every free second with someone can drive a person insane. It was agreed that one night a week Henry had unlimited time to play games on his PC and you could watch whatever you wanted on TV, no matter how trashy, scary, or corny it was. Anything from 'reality' shows that were hyped for the cameras to old movies, after all thanks to Henry's Netflix contract he had unlimited worldwide access to their entire catalogue with no location restrictions.

Tonight was no different. In between jobs, the house was clean and tidy, Kal walked and now snoring in the hallway, Henry had pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose as you'd made your way into separate rooms, the whirr of Henry's PC starting up louder than the Dun Dun of Netflix loading. Scrolling through the titles that had been recommended based on your recent views, you spied an older movie from well over a decade ago, and upon checking the brief bio you saw it had the guy from the Marvel show you liked and also the other dude from the show where everyone was doing magic and it all seemed quite Russian.

An hour into the movie you were entranced, staring at the screen as the story about the fallen star had captured your attention completely, not even noticing the noises from the room next door had stopped until Henry had come sit next to you;

"What you watch... Oh, Stardust"

Henry would regularly trot back and forth from the kitchen to his gaming room to get drinks and snacks, but he never usually stopped to watch with you.

"Yeah, i've never seen it, but it was recommended to me"

"Never seen it?" he enquired; "Oh..."

An hour later the movie was starting to conclude its various plot lines, and in slower moments you would comment about how much the actors had gone onto bigger projects.

"Yeah, there's a few familiar faces in there" Henry agreed

"Charlie Cox has done Daredevil and loads on stage in the West End"

"Uh-huh"

"And right at the start Ben Barnes played Tristan's Dad, he's really done well with Shadow & Bone. And of course Claire Danes was amazing in Homeland"

"Right... anyone else?" he asked, but you shushed him where it was one of the final scenes, a young Sienna Miller as Victoria sitting in the crowd as her beau Humphrey smiled and winked. There was something... something familiar... you squinted at the screen before turning your head slowly, Henry grinning like an absolute fool from the other end of the sofa. Your eyes darted back and forth between him and Humphrey before you were back on Henry and he did the same wink and smile.

You stood quickly, the gasp that filled your lungs seemed to be endless;

"NO!"

Henry laughed; "Yes"

"YOU ARE NOT FUCKING HUMPHREY"

He reached out and grabbed you, pulling you onto his lap;

"Technically, you are fucking Humphrey"

You scrambled for the remote to rewind and pause it, looking back and forth between the screen and your boyfriend;

"You're Humphrey. Oh my god, i literally watched the whole movie and didn't even figure it out!"

"Well, it was a particularly awful wig and fake moustache"

"But... still... I thought i'd seen your entire back catalogue!"

"I guess not" he pressed a kiss to your nose before his hands started to wander beneath your t-shirt; "It was pre-Tudors, it was filmed close to two decades ago, i've changed a bit"

You smiled and ran your fingertips over the greying hairs on his temples and in his beard; "Yeah, you've gotten more handsome"

"Why thank you. But promise me one thing"

"Sure"

"Don't bother with Laguna, its the absolute worst. Its two hours of your life you'll never get back" he paused for a moment; "And probably the same for Hellraiser and Blood Creek"

You laughed;

"Too late, i've seen both of those"

Henry did a fake exagerated sigh; "Really?"

"Oh definitely, but they were pure gratuitious viewing, younger you was delicious"

"And now older me?"

"Is a whole damn meal" the credits started to roll and Henry stood with you in his arms; "Now take me to bed and let me enjoy that meal"

[bloomstruck]

How I Would Fare in Fighting Against the Cast of IAPTBAP

the title folks. i'm over-confident and i'm sure my fiance is gonna see this like "you can't fight at all" but i once downed a man in a parking lot and i will keep up that energy did this in order of appearance (mostly)

MC — Now why tf would I wanna fight the baddest bitch there is? Before Beau's tale, I might be able to win. Afterwards, she'd probably win. But it's okay, I'm not gonna fight her anyways. WINNER: No one

Aurelio — I would win 100%. I don't have really any reasoning, just that I'm confident. The issue here is, again, I wouldn't want to fight him. Too precious. WINNER: Me

Winter White — He tried to pick MC up and couldn't handle her weight lmao he's kinda weak. I also have weak arms but I have really strong leg muscles and flexibility to kick him in the face. He's my fave but irl I would want to fight him. So creepy. WINNER: Me

Eli — I think he's too nice to beat me up without a really good reason. With that said, if I picked a fight with him, I wouldn't win. He's really nice though so I don't want to pick a fight with him. He's had it rough, why would I add onto that 😭 WINNER: Eli?

Arien — This... Is hard. Technically, Arien bests me in physical strength. He would totally end me if he wasn't a lil' bitchbaby. He's also masochistic so I'm afraid he'd let me get a couple hits in and then I wouldn't want to fight and I'd run away crying. With that said, I really don't like Arien... But is it worth it? Is it worth it? WINNER: . . . Arien???? Maybe???????

Beau — OKAY, he might be able to outsmart me. Not to toot my own horn, I'm pretty smart myself, but if Beau is Sherlock Holmes, I am John Watson (I mean, in intelligence wise, not referencing their relationship at all). He's a genius. With that said, he's also a twink and a bookworm and I have leg muscles for days from soccer and dancing. A couple of well-placed kicks and he's not standing back up. WINNER: Most likely me.

Jasmir — Now why tf am I gonna put a target on my back like that 🤨 The people around Jasmir are batshit nuts. WINNER: Jasmir (by default)

Espen — Depends. If Espen is allowed his ice powers, how tf am I supposed to compete with that? If it's just fists tho and he gets no powers, I'm pretty confident I could win this fight. When's the last time this man went outside to touch grass? Exactly. WINNER: Circumstantial

Anton — Anton might win if only because I'd chicken out and wouldn't be able to fight him. Not out of fear, but he's just... gestures vaguely. He's sweet. WINNER: Anton (by default)

Tyrian — Nah I ain't winning this one y'all. First off, Tyrian is so nice, he works hard, and is a great cook... Why am I gonna challenge him to a fight? If we did fight, for whatever reason though, he would win. And I would let him. He could punch me and I'd thank him. (Please don't though because I'll also cry). WINNER: Tyrian

Charlie — I think I could take him on. IDK why though but punching him feels kind of homophobic, plus I'd have to deal with Tyrian and Charlie's father so... Nah, no thanks WINNER: Me? Maybe?

Rampion — I'm... Not sure. I'm going to say Rampion is gonna win this one, especially if he has a frying pan. WINNER: Probably Rampion

Sen — HAHAHAHAHA. The moment Sen shows even a teensy bit of hostility towards me, I'm fucking BOLTING. This man could snap me in half like a fucking glow stick. Like he's breaking some pasta noodles to fit into a pot. I'm taking this L, there's no way I could fuckin win THAT fight. Fuck that. WINNER: SEN

Alistair — I'm fairly confident I could win against Alistair but it'd be a really dirty fight. He strikes me as the type to scratch and pull hair and do petty shit. But it's okay! I do too, and the difference is is that half the time I do my nails stiletto style so you better watch out babygirl. The only way Alistair would win is if he makes me cry before we fight. Which is definitely possible. WINNER: Physically, me. Verbally, Alistair.

Rojo — why would I fight such a bean 😭 (also, rojo could wreck my shit) WINNER: Rojo

Miriam — Now this feels REALLY homophobic, how tf am I gonna fight her. Why would I do that? Why would I try to fight her? I wanna be besties with her. If we fought, I would let her win hands down. WINNER: Miriam

[anonymouslymadebydesign]

Hiii I have a request can you maybe write about julie and frank taking care of a little reader together like a big brother big sister type way only if you want to tho no pressure ^^

Big Brother Caregiver ! Frank and Big Sister Caregiver ! Julie take care of Little ! Reader

Author's Note : Sorry I’ve been neglecting my asks for so long! So much has been going on and I’ve had a lot on my plate, I still do, but hopefully you enjoy this :) I’ve never written a big sibling dynamic but I think I did okay here. I really do hope you enjoy it, dear anon !! It’s not very long cause I wasn’t too sure where I was going with it, but a lunch playdate sounded fun!

Synopsis : Frank and Julie learn you grew up as an only child. While talking over lunch, the idea of Frank and Julie taking care of you and playing games eases you into little space.

Word Count : 598

✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂ ✿ ⌂✿ ⌂ ✿

“Woah! I would’ve never guessed you’re an only child!” Julie gushed from her dining room table. You, Frank, and Julie, had all agreed to hang out at Julie's house for a lunch get together. It was honestly really relaxing, with how stressful everything had been lately. As lunch went on, chatting easily and letting the time go by, you found yourself slipping little by little.

“Really?” You asked from your spot across from her. She had made you (your favorite food) and honestly it was the best kind you’d ever had. Something about Julie making it for you made it taste better. 

“Mhm!” She nodded, her hair bouncing up and down. “I have three siblings! Beau, Frann, and Josey. You just seemed like, I dunno, you’d be the youngest.”

Frank hummed in agreement over his cup of tea. “I have a brother but we’re in the same age range. Irish twins, they’re called. So I didn’t feel like he was younger or older than I, even though I’m technically older.” He ended that with a small, smug smirk that he quickly hid behind his tea cup. 

You contemplated their words, as you took another bite of your food. “Well,” You said, looking between the two. “You could be my pretend siblings, if ya want.” 

“Oh, (Y/N), don’t speak with your mouth full.” Frank leaned over to wipe a bit of food stuck to your face. “Here, let me.” He pulled his pocket square out of his chest pocket to clean the rest of it off.

“T’ank you.” You smiled up at him, tilting your head to the side to allow easier access. It was a simple slip up of the word, honestly, but it didn’t stop Frank and Julie from sharing a knowing look. 

“Say, (Y/N), we’re almost done eating lunch.” Julie said, her tone light and cheerful. “Wanna play a game after we clean up?”

Now this caught your attention. You liked it when Julie helped clean you up after eating, she always helped brush your hair, wash your hands and face, and sometimes sang to fill the silence.. “What game?” You asked, curiosity nipping at you.

“We could play pretend, or I could grab my play butterflies from home,” Frank listed off on his fingers. “There’s hide and seek, arts and crafts, whatever you wanna do, honestly.”

“Oh! Hide and seek!” You wiggled excitedly in your chair. “T’at’s my favorite.” You grinned excitedly. Julie's house had all the best hiding spots, and you consider yourself an expert when it came to hiding. 

Julie clapped her hands together. “That settles it then! We’ll finish up with lunch, get you cleaned up, and have ourselves a nice little playdate.”

You and Julie finished what little was left on your plates before Frank took them both to sit in the sink, stating he’ll clean them later when the three of you are done playing. They both take one of your hands, leading you upstairs and to Julie's little washroom. 

“I’ll brush your hair and we’ll wash our hands. Frank will clean your face and we’ll get all ready for hide and seek, how does that sound?” Julie maneuvered you to sit on the little stool she had as she grabbed her hairbrush.

“Good!”

“Now, do you wanna hide, (Y/N)?” Frank asked as he wet a washcloth, pumping facial cleaner into it, before ringing it out to start cleaning your face. 

“Yes please!” You couldn’t help but wiggle excitedly. This was going to be so much fun!

[utilitycaster]

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, 3x50

Welcome back to the feature that no one asked for but everyone wanted, the Wizard Breakdown Tracker. As a reminder, in the context of Campaign 3 Caleb Widogast is an NPC and will be included, but we are sticking to wizards who have explicitly made an appearance in Campaign 3 AND are confirmed wizards. That's right: do not fucking @ me about Oremid Hass.

Caleb Widogast: the man, the myth, the non-werewolf himself. Dirt Wizard has become Dust Wizard. Anyway, let's consider the scenario. He's hanging out with Beau so that's good. He got to watch a bunch of dumb idiots take down a mecha, which I think he'd enjoy. He's tracking Ludinus Da'leth, his current greatest nemesis now that Trent's been rotting in prison (presumably? Ludinus did apparently break out but also Trent has the spicy collar for naughty wizards who bark too much at teen prodigies perma-glued to his neck. Plus it's been 7 years so maybe he just fucking died). However, it sounds like things went a little sideways in the Shadowfell, he's wearing a fucking high collar with a scarf in the desert which cannot be comfortable, and, as has been far more eloquently pointed out elsewhere, this is his only apogee solstice and he's spending it dealing with Ludinus's bullshit. Man is cranky. 6/10.

Planerider Ryn: well. she is currently a rock. technically there are benefits to this, but they do not outweigh the considerable drawbacks. 0/10 breakdown because she's unaware of anything happening, but I'm going to guess...7/10 on the mohs hardness scale?

Gus of the Green Seekers: This is all well above his pay grade. He's probably chilling out in Jrusar, trying to make it work with Ogdes. 2/10 because the paperwork sucks.

Tuldus: Is he dead or is he just trapped with Baryn and Ebenold in the fire plane? Unclear. Who cares! He is, as Ryn said, a fucking idiot, and I doubt he's been left to run free, and also, go to fucking therapy and leave everyone else alone, dipshit. 9/10.

Ludinus Da'leth: I must admit. I will hate to see him go; he's a fascinating villain and it's incredibly possible that he has been using the Cerberus Assembly for its entire existence as a wizard council body to try to kill the gods because of misplaced generational trauma, which is the sort of long-game elf wizard machinations I live for. With that said his plan sucks and is terrible and countless people would die for no reason. I suspect he's got a clue that Beau and Caleb are on his trail, and also, I bet he fucking hates this weather just as much as Caleb does, and the Feywild Key is leveled and the Shadowfell Key damaged and there's sand EVERYWHERE. 8/10. FINALLY, we've gotten under the skin of Exandria's smoothest wizard operator.

[ratratart]

A Runaway Maverick (technically) Day 1 of Drawtober

This is my Ravnos lad back as a ghoul! Back before he went by Beau, on the right is his ex/sire Theo. lore under the cut :]

Maverick, Ricky, whatever you may want to call him ran away from home in the spring of his senior year of high school, having met Theodore after a college tour, and being absolutely *smitten*! He then spent several years with his new lover, performing, traveling around the west of the US and acting as a bloodbag absolutely living his best life! Eventually he was embraced in a panic when he was drained by accident. Soon after, Theo left, taking much of their earnings and their van. I love both the idea of him ending up a thinblood and the option of him being a full Ravnos kindred so both versions exist in my brain? (this is all written with the 5th edition rules in mind) If full Ravnos, he would spend his days as a traveling musician, settling into feeding off his audience (albeit with several mistakes when he was new,, and abandoned by his sire). In this version, he hopes to try to reconnect with Theo, uncertain what he did wrong, angry but optimistic in a way (when hes not writing sad country break up songs). He understands in a way why Theo did what he did, he would have panicked too in that situation! Maybe it was okay! They can talk it out!

He wishes to make back up with his mother now that he is more successful, but is unsure how to explain his awful teen behavior to her (running away, asking her for money and promising to come home,, then disappearing again), never mind his current situation (being a vampire). In this he would go by Beau, cursed with the secondary clan bane, and well known enough by his lover's old nickname for him to adopt it as a stage-name. For the version of him that's a thinblood, I think hes far more vengeful. He wants to go back to his family, but is still cursed with the clan bane, feels useless to his sire as his blood is no longer desirable, and he is ANGRY. He feels lost and abandoned and had to beg his mother for money. He quickly realizes he could not return to his old life, he can't go back home, not if he wants to actually *live*. I think he would want Theo dead, he's conflicted but he's no longer bloodbound, and would not have nearly as many benefits of kindred life as a fullblooded vampire, he's not interested. He wants his life back.

[mayihaveyournameplease]

TIMING: current PARTIES: Siobhan & Beau LOCATION: Tupperware SUMMARY: An unusual fae pair work together to escape and unwelcomed kidnapping. CONTENT WARNINGS:  Unsanitary tw. WRSPICE because IYKYK.

Siobhan didn’t sleep much; the night was for having fun and the day was for having fun and there was no time left to not have fun. Terrible things happened when Siobhan wasn’t having fun, anyway. So, when she did sleep, hopefully so thoroughly exhausted that dreams didn’t dare to knock on her skull, she coveted the time; it was sacred. When the smell of varying stale foods flooded her nose and pulled her up from sleep, she was angry. When she looked around and noted the thick, cloudy plastic walls and bright blue ceiling above, she was livid. Siobhan screamed; if anyone was asleep before, they certainly weren’t now. The plastic, for its part, simply quivered a little—being reinforced by its trips through the microwave, into the freezer and the fridge and then back into the microwave. It technically wasn’t freezer safe but that hadn’t stopped it from showing up in the freezer. 

Little Beau Beep was counting sheep. They danced and pranced in his dreams, and every time he got close to one it would snap its teeth at him. “I’ll turn you all into lamp chops!” He declared, pulling a flamethrower from the dimension dream items came from. Dinner was cooked well done. Deep in slumber, a cartoon figure donned in a sleeping cap with a singular puff at the end, and a onesie, buttflap unfortunately unflapped. The smell of old food wasn’t what woke him, it lingered well with the greasy feast he was partaking in. Instead, he woke up relaxed, and happy. A big stretch and a yawn, eyes blinking wearily. “Good morning world.” He announced, as if he was the star from which the universe revolved around. It wasn’t his bedroom he caught sight of. Beau blinked, rubbing the slumber from his eyes and eyes darting around. “I am not cheesed to be here.” He mumbled in his plastic container. Spotting another contained individual, Beau raised a hand in greeting. “Hello! There seems to be a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. Haha! I’m going to be late for work! Haha.” 

There weren’t many people Siobhan decided she hated upon first sight. To hate someone was usually far more care and attention she wanted to give. Yet, as a chill struck down her spine with the familiarity meeting another fae often did, and as he laughed the way that was too fake and utterly useless, Siobhan decided she hated him. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, they were stuck in a plastic container and that was sure to be what was really souring her mood. She forced herself to smile, in a way that was also too fake, and tried to be polite. “Unfortunately, I’m not the person that put you here! So I can't get you out. Haha.” She imagined jamming his head under the lip of the lid; she imagined it squeezing and popping off like a pea freed from its pod. The image brought her peace. “I’m also not…” she sighed. “…cheesed to be here.” She stepped closer to the man, despite herself. “You wouldn’t happen to know how to get out, would you? I would like to leave.” She paused. “Haha.” 

The tingle down Beau’s spine told him that this was another fae, which was nice. Beau hadn’t made many fae friends since coming to Wicked’s Rest. He had met that dumb fae child, but she was a lost cause. Then there was the Doctor fae that kept turning him down. Beau had stolen the knowledge that he was fae from her, so they couldn’t bond over that. Then there was the goat, who didn’t like him. All these Ls and Beau never couldn’t figure out why. Maybe this fae was a chance at redemption. “Haha!” Beau responded, at least this fae had a good nature. Full of laughs! Even if her laughs sounded a bit dry and flat. “Seems like we’ll be tasked with figuring out how to get out ourselves, haha!” He placed his hands on his hips, very much looking like that one construction worker who only ever watched as the others constructed. Beau turned in a slow circle, staring up at the plastic lid. “It would appear we are in very large tupperware.” Beau announced, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing he could have said, and it was something helpful. “I’m just swissed about this. Haha!” His forced smile burned his cheeks. Beau did the most manly thing he could think of, he kicked the plastic container with his foot. His foot was only covered by the onesie foot. His toes crushed into the plastic causing him to topple over and curse with pain. “I HATE THIS I FUCKING HATE THIS.” He screamed into the air, before remembering he wasn’t alone. One cough. Two coughs. “I mean. Haha.”

“Haha,” Siobhan said plainly, using the idiotic phrase to hide the anger that roiled inside of her. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, saying ‘haha’ was an easy way to stop herself from saying ‘I don’t care if you’re a fae I’m going to skin you alive and use your flesh as a wreath’. “Haha.” Watching him hurt himself was nice, like a sitcom one might leave to play in the background; amusing enough but largely a waste of time. Even if the live studio audience in her head broke out in laughter, the more sensible director was keen on keeping them on task. As this man was a fae, despite his obvious flaws, Siobhan decided she would pretend like she cared about him. “Oh! You poor, sweet thing!” She walked very slowly to his side, bending down to try and help him out. “Your toe! Oh, how that must have hurt--this terrible, evil box wants to destroy your strong manly foot. Oh! If only you could use your big, smart brain to get us out of here. Oh! If only, maybe, you could stand on my shoulders and see if the lid will lift!” She smiled tightly at him. “Haha.” She was thinking his eyes would look lovely in a jar. 

The throbbing pain in his big toe was infuriating. He hopped around on his good foot for a bit while the other fae started talking. The fae, a woman, she was hot. A bit old looking for his normal tastes, but he could forgive a fae for aging since she was so nice. Beau preened as she doted on him, calling him strong and manly. He is strong and manly. He definitely could use all his big strong manly brain power to get them out of the box. Beau put his hands on his hips, he’d seen superheroes do it on posters and he was about to be the savior of this woman’s world, it seemed fitting. “Have no fear. You should stand on my shoulders. Since I’m so strong and manly. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself with effort. Besides, I like a woman on top.” He added a wink, just to let her know that if she was interested in staying in this weird large tupperware container with him, he wouldn’t be against it.

The man looked like a simple tap would have him keeled over, Siobhan didn’t want to think about what having the full weight of someone on his shoulders would do to him. Thankfully, at least, she had fallen asleep in the same clothes she’d gone out in, so there was no free show for Beau if he decided to look up between her legs; pants could be a wonderful thing. “Oh, but shouldn’t we uplift men?” She tried to smile; she didn’t enjoy the fact her words seemed to work so well on him. “In this current political climate, shouldn’t men stand on top of women and push up heavy tupperware lids? What if my weak woman arms can’t do it?” Siobhan might have been born over a hundred years ago, but growing up in a matriarchal society that largely sacrificed its men had given her a very pointed view of the sexes; it was a very spider-like idea of feminism. Even joking in this manner had her stomach twisted into knots; she’d have to be careful about how she was complimenting the sad, small man. “I don’t want to damage your…” Siobhan gestured to his sad excuse for muscles. “...manly shoulders.” 

Beau’s chest started to puff out with each passing statement coming out of her mouth. This was a woman chasing after his own heart. Beau bravely ignored the throbbing in his left foot and straightened his back, chasing that extra inch that he knew would make him all the more handsome and impressive in her eyes. “I don’t say this a lot, but you might be the smartest woman I’ve ever met.” His tongue slipped against his upper lip. He’d seen tiktoks of younger men doing the same sign to look attractive to women. He hoped it was working. “Alright, I’ll get on your shoulders and I’ll use my strong manly arms to get us out of here. Anything for you, my excellently aged cheese.” He hoped it wasn’t too soon for fond nicknames. Every marriage needed fond nicknames. Oh wait. Maybe marriage was getting ahead of himself? He mulled it over before deciding it wasn’t. Beau walked closer to the woman, craning his neck up to look at her face. God. She was an amazonian of a woman. “Uppies.” He stated, holding his hands up as if he was the petulant toddler he acted like. 

If this man died right now, Siobhan was sure it would be her happiest memory. Nothing would fill her with more euphoria than being able to scream for him and then stab him several times. She was thinking twenty seven times but the count went up every time he opened his mouth. Suddenly, she didn’t want him on her shoulders. Maybe it would have been better if she had just crushed his trapezius with her heels. “Maybe you’re the smartest man I’ve ever met.” A muscle below her eye twitched. “You’re my hero, my egg,” she said, imagining cracking his skull like one. She hoped she never had to see him again. When he said ‘uppies’ she amended her thought: she hoped that she did see him again, thoroughly dead. 

Siobhan bent down, lifting the annoying gnat with ease--as, unlike the man, she was strong. A lifetime of rigorous training to be an instrument of Fate had changed her deceptively thin physique into the sort that could easily lift up another person. The feat was probably lost on him. “How are you?” She asked, straightening up slowly. She kept a firm grip on his legs, trying to stop him from falling over; she wasn’t sure what lies she’d have to tell about his manly body to get him to shut up if it happened. “Are your strong, big, thick, manly arms doing anything?” 

The woman lifted him up in his big strong arms, and Beau was a little breathless for a second. Strong and a man enjoyer? What did he do to get the whole package? His heart began palpitations. Then she was speaking again, honestly she spoke too much. That was another downside she had. When they got married she’d need to talk at least 95 percent less. Beau stretched his arms against the clear blue plastic cover and started pushing and pushing. At first it seemed like it wouldn’t budge.Then sound of plastic scraping against plastic, and it was becoming loose! “I’m doing it! I’m doing it!” Beau shouted, his feet doing little joy taps against the woman’s shoulders.

Beau was not doing it. A large face appeared. It belonged to a man. The ugliest man Beau had ever seen. “Hahaha! Some feisty ones.” The person’s voice was loud, causing Beau to shake a bit. “Get down. I’m here to deliver your daily milk.” Beau was manhandled. Could you believe it? Man handled! He was lifted off the woman’s shoulders and placed onto the plastic ground as milk began to pour over and around them. Beau was disgusted and a little aroused, if he was being honest. “Hey! Let us out!” He shouted, fist flying against the air. But nothing changed. Milk was delivered and the tupperware was closed. 

The only thing worse than having to deal with the annoying, short man would be a shower of milk. How strange it was that the next thing to happen was precisely that. Siobhan seethed, vibrating with the force of her rage. Milk dripped from her hair and soaked into her clothes, which clung tightly to her body in a way that was flattering, though that was the only fortunate thing about it. Milk covered their tupperware in a pool of white, coming up to Siobhan’s knees. She waded through the liquid, ready to be done with it. She’d plunge his body below the milky wavers and drown him. Escape would be more steps away from her but at least the last shreds of her sanity would remain. She stormed over to him, milk sloshing; she felt a little like a slow-motion attractive lifeguard coming to shore. The milky hair flip didn’t help with the image. 

She was close, close enough to strangle when she remembered that killing fae was the sort of thing that had gotten her wings ripped out. As much as Siobhan hated him in this moment, as he was the vehicle for her frustrations, he couldn’t be harmed; a fae was a fae and fae were family. “Looks like another case of someone trying to keep men down, my sweet, sweet omelet.” Her hands balled into fists by her sides; she spoke between clenched teeth. Her shoulders ached from where he had tapped in excitement on her. She wanted to crush him like a bug. “What now?” Her gaze dropped, she noticed a strange lump in her pocket--cylindrical. What did she have in there? She pulled it out, staring at the drenched knife. She twisted it, watching the blade catch light. “Would you look at that, my egg?” She grinned.

The worst thing about the milk was not the fact that it was seeping into his onesie, congealing against his toes and setting on his skin in a thick and sticky film. No. The worst thing was the milk was warm. Warm milk? What kind of sin had the woman next to him committed to cause them to end up in this place? Surely Beau had done nothing to deserve such a treatment from whatever giant had opened the container and doused them in warm milk. “Haha.” At this point the laugh had lost any and all luster it once had, the smile which never reached his eyes was starting to not reach his lips. How was he supposed to thrive under these conditions? Then Siobhan was pulling out a knife, and for a second, when she was calling him egg, he thought she was about to poach him. Beau blinked, a little bit of a laugh and went. “Haha, my finest aged cheddar, what are you going to do with that knife?”

Siobhan thought about how lovely the man’s blood would be against her knife; she pictured his skin ripping in layers when she would stab him, flesh given to blood given to bone. What sort of expression would he make, she wondered. Would he haha? She looked at him and then her knife and then back at him. She could not kill another fae. She splashed around the container, making her way to the wall. Siobhan plunged her knife into the worn plastic and pulled down with as much force as she could summon, ripping a jagged, vertical line into the box. It looked suspiciously like a certain anatomical opening, but Siobhan wasn’t going to make that comparison. “Come, help me open this,” she called back at the short man, pulling at one side of the tear. “I need your…strong man arms to help me…because I’m…too much of a woman.” She hoped he’d slice his hand on the plastic, feeding it to the warm wilk (which was surprisingly nice, she thought, like a bath).   

Beau smiled broadly as the beautiful and slightly too old and aged looking woman stabbed the knife into the plastic and started sawing their way out. He should have known she would be too weak to follow up. “Don’t worry, I am excellent with my hands.” Beau lied, but since he truly believed that lie to be true he suffered no ill effects. Beau stepped forward, shoving both of his hands into the gash she’d created and started tearing it open. Nothing happened. Beau coughed, adjusting his hands to focus on just one side pulling back instead of pushing the two halves apart. He started getting somewhere! The plastic gave a bit. “Big and strong, what can I say.” With each long and tiresome tug the opening got bigger and bigger until the plastic tore and Beau found himself being spilled out on the counter with the milk flowing out. Suddenly the world was no longer small and tiny and Beau was large. This was the tallest he’d ever been! Except, as he looked around, he started to get the feeling that he was simply his normal height now. Disappointing. 

Siobhan knew for certain, in that moment, that her partner in milk was completely useless. She pulled, her muscles flexing--as she’d been raised to be the perfect instrument of Death, there was an undeniable strength held in her limbs. She pulled, and pulled harder to make up for the man’s lackluster efforts. The tiny cut turned into a gash and then an opened and milk sloshed through and their bodies tumbled with it. Out of the tupperware, whatever strange--slightly perverted--magic was at work seemed to wear off and Siobhan was at her usual height, which towered over the obnoxious man. She brushed milk off of her; a futile gesture. “Siobhan,” she said, holding her milky hand out, “I forgot to introduce myself and…” She drew her hand back, which trembled in the cold, dry air. In front of her were a hundred jars, lined up in neat rows, holding their own lakes of milky fluid and a singular figure standing in the liquid. She thought she saw a unicorn in one; she wasn’t even sure those existed. Wordlessly, she tilted her head to the side and wrung milk out of her hair. “I think we avoided something terrible,” she said, “perhaps because of your manliness.” She added that only because she thought it was funny. 

In their miniature forms, the woman had towered over Beau. Old and tall, both had been marked against her in his constant judgment. However, stuck in a tupperware container, Beau had been kind enough to offer her grace. Grace that whatever had stuck them in that tupperware had messed up the shrinking process and had shrunk Beau just a little bit smaller. Now as the two of them were standing normal sized in a room full of jars, Beau felt disgust boil over him to realize she actually was just behemothly tall. That was very unbecoming of her. Old or tall. Pick a struggle. Then she introduced herself. Rage danced underneath Beau’s skin, causing it to prickle. He hadn’t asked for her name, eliminating all ease of snagging it from her. Sure. The pull in his chest informed him that she was a fellow fae, but she could have been kind enough to ask. His practiced smile pulled across his face as he turned to look up at her. “Beau. “ He returned his name, “But you can call me Beautiful. On account of how manly I am.” He struck a pose. At least she was smart enough to recognize him as the man he was.

She marveled at the ease in which murderous fantasies involving the man flooded into her mind. By the time Beau had finished introducing himself, Siobhan had mentally flayed, dismembered and tortured him in a hundred different ways. She stared down at him and knew that her favorite of the fantasies was the one where she crushed him like an insect. No, like a tin can; instead of a smear, she’d stomp down and snap bones into a perfect circle. She smiled. “Beautiful,” she said, looking beyond him and into the imagined version that waddled around with his collapsed body, slowly pulling up to reveal smashed bones and flattened skin in the shape of an accordion, dangling limply. “So beautiful.” Her imaginary arms lifted him, laying his accordion body on its side so she could separate each ring of flesh so she could twist it again to get a never-ending cord of his body. She looked around at the tupperware and jars and suddenly it all made a sort of perverse sense to her. The warm milk, however, remained a mystery. 

She knelt down to his level. “Beau, beautiful, manly Beau.” Siobhan rested a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Putting you in a jar would be such a waste. I’d want you where everyone could see. I’d want wrapped around the room like tinsel. I’d call people over, I’d say ‘look at Beau, isn’t he so beautiful’.” You wouldn’t believe it, he was such a tiny man in his life, now look at how tall and grand I made him. It was the sort of irony Siobhan liked. “You’re so special. You would have been wasted here. I’m so happy that you’re free.” Trapped, Beau’s unique, repugnant nature would have been lost to the world. He was a pacifier, sized like one too; her mind reached a new level of calm, setting all its cognitive efforts into cruel punishments. He was meditative, soothing, a zen garden for a murderer. She leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose, picturing herself with acid lips to break down his cartilage. “Beautiful Beau.” She rose to her feet. “I hope the next time we meet, there’s less milk.” And she left.

That night, she completely forgot about the stained tupperware and all questions she had about how they got there or where there even was—she didn’t even remember how she got home—but she couldn’t forget Beau. He’d given her so much peace that for the first time in over forty years, she slept through the night, carried by easy dreams of Beau dying beautifully. 

Maybe older women had their place in this society. Despite the lines around her eyes, and her probably sagging bosom, Beau was enthralled by the tenderness at which Siobhan reviered him. Despite asking, multiple times, to be referred to as Beautiful, Siobhan was the first to listen to him. She kissed his nose. She left him speechless. If only she was better looking. Beau watched as she walked away, not ready yet to escape from the room that had bound them. Milk clung to him, and he knew it would sour and turn disgusting soon, but there was one thing he needed to do first. He’d seen a unicorn, miniaturized just like they had been, only in a jar. Beau plucked it off the shelf and dropped it into his milk-soaked pocket. This would be coming home with him.

[defaultjane]

Writing pattern tag game

Thanks to @vorchagirl for the tag, this was fun! :D

Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there’s a pattern!

1 - Jane's Dragon Age Drabbles - Leliana's wine went down deceptively smoothly for unbeknownst to her, Cole had made a habit of slipping honey into it, the only means he had left to try and aid, to try and erase the incredibly heavy pain that emanated from Leliana and kept calling out to him, so loud and so strong it overwhelmed all of Skyhold’s need for relief as it pulled on him.

2 - Graven Image - I couldn’t even cry today.

3 - Jane's Horizon Scrap Metal - Elisabet ran her fingertips over Tilda’s palm, then over her fingers, tracing the length of each elegant digit with a touch light as a feather; this was a hand that could bring song to life, fingers nimbly skittering over the keys of a piano, playing out lilting melodies with speed and accuracy that had required years and years of determined practice.

4 - Resident Evil Anthology - ”For the last time, Leon, I’m not your lawyer, you should stop calling me when you’re thrown in jail,” Hunnigan said as she waited for him to collect his things so that they could exit the jailhouse.

5 - Someone to watch over me - “Why don’t you just drive?” Helena asked from Hunnigan at the locker room of the gym in the training facility located in the basement floors of the D.S.O. headquarters.

6 - Immaculate Misconception - Shepard woke up when she got rudely pushed on the bed until she slid over the edge and fell to the floor.

7- Victoria's Secret - It had been a long day and she couldn’t wait to be out of the robes that after days like this ironically felt like they weighed more than any set of armor she’d worn before, for with the robes of the Divine came the Divine’s responsibilities as well. (this fic opens with Leliana singing a song I did not write the lyrics for, so technically this would be the second sentence instead of the opening)

8 - Little white moment - Hunnigan wasn’t one to usually participate in the “team spirit building days” that director Shepard liked to arrange at least once a year (usually around December since he loved combining the office Christmas party into the same event, like he had this year).

9 - Snow angel - Beau finished putting away the supplies she’d acquired for the upcoming venture and examined her belongings, fairly confident she had everything she needed.

10 - Squish the cat - It was late in the morning when Adora returned to the bedroom after having gotten up a couple of hours prior.

Things I noticed: My newer fics seem to have longer opening lines than the older ones, but generally speaking, I seem to babble on a lot without actually saying much, art imitates life. xD

I'll tag @illusivesoul and @celemee and @mclavellan and @xaori in case any of y'all are looking at this going "omg I wanna do that!" :D