#i think i mixed up two different pieces of advice people gave me for fic

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Blood Sport

Feyd Rautha x Y/N - drabble part 4 - 2.6K WC

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 (you are here!)

Masterlist

Warnings: violence, blood, fighting, Baron and Reverend Mother being shady af, pretty fluffy, reader is just built different, knife throwing, full on fight, blood licking?, slow burn, two passionate people trying to protect each other, I completely made up the language of Succo so don’t come for me, not proof read but then again none of my fics are

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You woke early, a slight crack in the curtains letting the blindingly bright black sun of Geidi Prime stream across your face. You groaned as you threw your arm over your face; the bed felt cold, lonely. You looked over to where Feyd slept last night, rolling towards his pillow. His scent still lingered - sweet blood mixed with musky sweat. You breathed deep before your maids entered the room. 

“What?” you hissed at them, holding your hand out to pause them in their place. Your blood magic felt stronger than it had in days now that you had fed, especially from such a strong host.

“The Lord Na-Baron Feyd Rautha has requested your presence in the training arena princess. He gave me a message for you.” your maid said not looking you in your eyes.

You made a ‘come here’ motion with your hand, your magic dragging her towards you. You set her down, she handed you the note with a trembling hand. “Out.” you said dismissing them. They scurried out like frightened rats. 

Fitalitum veritanic et alumi read the slip of parchment. You smiled to yourself, in your own mother tongue of Succonant he wrote “There is beauty in ferocity”. You placed the note in the top drawer of the bedside table before getting out of bed and readying yourself. You purposefully picked out one of your long dresses instead of training gear. He wanted to see beauty and ferocity, you would give it to him. As you adorned your dress you couldn’t help but admire how every piece of it could become a weapon. The sharp shoulder pads could be taken off and used as individual throwing knives. The belt became a barbed whip. The long sleeves hid two painfully thin blades, dainty but they hurt no less than a regular Cruor blade. Each layer on the dress had razor sharp edges, if you spun they were sure to carve your opponent. Finally a diadem which encased your shield should you need it. Cruor fought without them but you didn’t want to risk marking your face days before the wedding. You finished admiring yourself before grabbing your beloved Cruor sword and heading down the corridor to the training arena.

As you walked down the cavernous halls of the Harkonnen palace you were confronted with the Reverend Mother herself, as if her ghostly form sprouted from the floor itself.

“Princess Y/N” she stated in an unimpressed tone.

“Reverend Mother.” you said, equally displeased. 

“Are you prepared for your wedding?” she asked, reminding you that the end of the week was approaching rapidly.

“Of course.” you replied, bored.

“You may think yourself above the rest Cruor, but you must remember where you are. And who truly rules.” she said with spite in her voice.

“How could I forget Reverend Mother? Your shadows haunt these halls.” you said viciously, referring to her Bene Gesserit sisters.

“You are fortunate the Voice does not affect you. But there are other ways to make you cooperate.” she said, stepping closer to you in an attempt to be imposing.

You twisted your fingers, your magic forcing her back and making her stumble. “Unfortunately for you, you are not and will never be immune to blood magic. It is built into my very being, not some trick to be learned. You do not frighten me, and I will not cooperate with you unless I alone agree to it.” you snapped at her. 

“There are always ways to make one cooperate. Should something happen to your husband, the Queen will be looked at intensely as a suspect. With my advice.” she said with an unsettlingly soft smile.

“And what makes you think I care for him in the slightest?” you asked, despite knowing it wasn’t entirely true.

She hummed curiously, “Good day princess.” she said before walking away from you.

“Cunt.” you whispered before pushing on towards the training arena.

When you entered the arena Feyd was nowhere to be found. You honed in your accelerated hearing, listening for his heartbeat. Your scarlet eyes narrowed to your left but a blow hit you from the right. You rolled to the ground with a groan. Feyd looked down at you with nothing but malice. 

“What the fuck? That hurt you ass.” you coughed, hand holding your ribs which felt slightly cracked.

“What makes you think I care in the slightest?” he said with venom in his voice. He stomped towards you. 

You knew he overheard your conversation. This was no longer training, this was a fight. You kept hold on your side, continuing to pretend like you were in immense pain. As Feyd stood before you, you kicked out his ankles with one swipe of your leg. He fell to the ground, you held your nails to his neck. Feyd grabbed your wrist, yanking you towards him, he threw you over him. Using your momentum he rolled with you, pulling his knife out and stabbing it next to where your shoulder would have landed if you had not pulled yourself towards him as you rolled. You smacked your forehead into his, pulling one of your shoulder blades out and stabbing at his shoulder, the blue shimmer of the shield vibrating the small blade. You pushed off each other, both of you getting to your feet. 

You tossed the small shoulder blade away from you, “You want to fight? Fight.” you said, pressing the main jewel on the diadem. Your blue shield shimmer faded before you tossed it off entirely. Feyd followed suit. You smirked at him which only seemed to anger him. He lunged at you, blade thrusting towards your chest. You made an ‘X’ in front of you with your forearms, the thin blades in your sleeves caught the knife, you twisted until he dropped the blade. He brought his armored arms down, breaking the thin blades. You backed up, kicking his chest to push him away. Feyd tried to rush you but you spun away, the dress ends slicing through his armor and into his thigh slightly. You took your belt off, lassoing his ankle before pulling him. He landed on his back. You snatched the lasso back, wrapping it around your knuckles before you squared up. He attempted to swipe your leg, instead you caught his and punched him in the side, hearing one of his ribs crack. Feyd groaned as he bent over slightly, holding his side. 

“Now were even.” you said, tossing your belt to the side. 

Feyd pulled you down by your dress, rolling you beneath him before he snatched one of your remaining shoulder blades. Starting right above your belly button he dragged the knife, cutting your dress up to your neck. A thin cut trailing your skin from the very tip of the knife, making you suck in a sharp breath as you felt drops of your blood seep out. You reached up to grab him, he held both your wrists down after tossing the small blade away. Both of you breathed heavily, chests hitting each other with every inhale. His eyes looked into yours, alight with fire. His hips nestled between your legs. Your dress fell open, revealing the cut he left behind, hardly keeping your breasts covered.

“You learn quick.” you smiled beneath him. “You are not your weapons. You are the weapon.”

His eyes wandered to the cut he left up your torso, he saw the few drops of blood that dripped to your side. He slowly lowered himself down your chest, keeping his eyes locked with yours. You watched through a haze as his tongue flicked out before he dragged it up the cut between your breasts. You sucked in a breath, your eyes closing as your back began to arch into him. You felt his tongue leave you all too quick.

“Absolutely vile.” he said, savoring the way your iron tasted on his tongue.

You heard the door open and shut, a Harkonnen maid entered without looking at either of you, “The Baron has requested your presence in the Great Hall my Lord Na-Baron Feyd Rautha.” she said before scurrying out. 

Feyd stood, offering you a hand to help you up. You tugged your dress closed with one hand, accepting his help with the other. Chest to chest once again, time felt as if it had froze. Your breaths matched each other, breathing each other in and out. Feyd leaned in first, his forehead going to rest against yours. You moved to kiss him, not entirely sure why but every fiber of you ached for him and him alone. 

Before you could close the gap, the Barons voice boomed throughout the arena. “Nephew! We have much to discuss. You are dismissed princess.” He said waving you off. 

You tightly held your dress together, ripping yourself away from Feyd and exiting the room. You checked, making sure no guards or maids were around before remaining right outside the door, honing your hearing in on them. 

“Holding knives to your bride? I figured you’d be a brute in marriage like you are in battle. Try not to break her in too rough, they’re much less likely to oblige. Although… we could always have someone hold her down for you. Like I had to with you the first few times.” The Baron chuckled.

You could hear Feyd’s heartbeat, his soul was crushing at the memories and yet he was calm. The Baron confirmed what you had seen when you drank Feyd’s blood, he had abused Feyd - physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually. Your body warmed with anger, you had half a mind to go and rip the Baron’s throat out with your own teeth. He was an animal, he should die like an animal. 

“That won’t be necessary, I’m perfectly capable of taking her on my own.” Feyd replied.

Your heart sank and a low boil of fear started in your stomach. You felt stupid for starting to feel anything for him besides hate.

“She is strong willed, thinks she knows best. Tame her, break her. She need only produce and heir or two… then you can dispose of her.” The Baron said.

Feyd’s eyes widened slightly as his head whipped up to meet the Baron’s gaze. He composed himself once more, “Of course.”

You couldn’t listen to anymore. You hastily made your way back to your chambers, tearing off your gown once inside. As you moved to put on more comfortable clothing you caught sight of your reflection. You could see bruises forming along your side, and the blood that had dried on you from the cut that was still present up your chest. As soon as you had finished cleaning yourself up, dressing your wounds, and changing into much looser clothing you heard the door slide open.

Feyd looked at you, startled by what he saw. Black veins around your eyes were ever present as your pupils looked like that of a cat. Instead of your regular two fangs you had four. You looked like you were ready to devour him mind, body, and soul. “Y/N?” Is all he said.

“Are you here to break me? Tame me? Are you going to hold me down or will your guards be doing that?” You asked with so much loathing in your voice it made his head spin.

“You know I’d never hurt you-“ he started.

“Do I?” You cut him off. “You breathe because I allow it. Do not forget who comes from the more powerful house. Who carries generations of magic within them. Who feast off the very life source of others.” 

Feyd could see how much you distrusted him, and yet he saw your eyes getting misty.

“You are a beast, Feyd Rautha. A beast and a monster. To believe I ever thought otherwise…” you trailed off.

“I may be a monster but at least I am not some unfeeling blood magic wielding wench who cares for no one but herself. I overheard you with the Reverend Mother.” Feyd argued back, both of you now heated and angry.

Your jaw dropped. How could he be so thick? So fucking oblivious? “I said that to protect you!” You yelled at him, stepping closer. 

“What do you think I was doing?” He yelled back, throwing one of your empty glass jars to the side. 

The jar shattered as it hit your light disc he had gifted you. The disc faltered, the stars and Rubrum disappearing as the disc finally died, “No!” You yelled, rushing to it, forgetting the argument at hand entirely. You knelt next to it, picking it up and trying to make it work again.

Feyd watched you, his eyes softening. You were scared and alone on a planet you had never known, surrounded by people who viewed you as strange and lesser, whose only purpose was ultimate obedience, to be used any way that would benefit House Harkonnen without regard for you. 

You sighed, letting the star disc clatter to the floor. You remained on your knees, a small sniffle emanating from you. You hated looking weak, but you knew this was coming; everything was too much. You wanted nothing more than to go back to Succo. 

Feyd knelt in front of you, gently taking your arms till you rested against his chest. You let out a heart wrenching sob. One that had been held in for quite some time. “I would never hurt you, I am loyal to you above all else.” He murmured as he stroked your back, trying to calm you.

You leaned into him, finally letting out all that had been held in since you left Succo. “I don’t want to hurt you either. I have no one on this planet but you… I wish for us to be equals; us against any who oppose us.” You said between sniffles. 

Feyd pulled you back so he could see you. Your face had returned to normal, as did your fangs. Black tears cascaded down your cheeks, he gently wiped them off. As you looked at one another you could feel it. The same need to be understood, wanted. You both leaned in, lips finally meeting. Both of you let out sighs, the long awaited tension finally breaking. It was slow and sweet but gained momentum. You nipped his lip with one of your fangs, causing him to reel away from you in surprise. 

“Sorry…” you blushed.

He shook his head, “Don’t be… we should rest…” he said after a few moments.

“We have much to discuss.” You said.

“And we will. But for now, let us rest.” He said, his hand coming up to hold your cheek. 

You placed your hand over his, closing your eyes before nodding. He stood first, guiding you up as he stood. You climbed into the large satin covered bed. You watched as Feyd discarded his armor, along with his shirt. He held it for a moment, hesitating if he should or shouldn’t do what he was thinking. 

You reached out a hand for him, “Come to bed.” You said sleepily, already laying down amongst the pillows and blankets.

Feyd smiled softly as he set his shirt down and climbed in next to you. He did the same as the first night, sleeping far from you. You peeked at him through the haze of sleep that was rapidly consuming you. You tugged on his arm, making him scoot closer to you. You wrapped yourself around him; one leg around his hips while you laid yourself on his bare chest. You snuggled in for a moment before finally drifting off. Feyd caressed your hair as you slept, thinking of how he could protect you from his uncle because you were, by far, the most precious thing to him. 

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Naboo's Note:

This took 3 days to write but I think it was well worth the wait. We're finally getting somewhere romantic! I know ya'll are horny but patience is a virtue and trust me it will be worth it. We've got wedding bells coming the next chapter! Thanks for all the support around this series, I'm having a lot of fun with it :) I love comments and find them super encouraging so be sure to drop me some XOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXO

taglist:

@wo-ming-bai

@reemoony

[clumsyclifford]

alright, i'm on my way to work and headphones are on, so how about 7, 12, 27 (for you seem so damn familiar) & 45 from the (amazing) list of fic questions you compiled?🧡

hope you're having a decent day at work!!!!!

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? oh ho ho oh boy. hm. actually! you know what, yes there is. this is a cop out answer but hazy and spun out (just more than friends) aka acappella au has some solid worldbuilding, and the reason for that is that it's taken directly from my real life, lmao. but i think it's the mark of good worldbuilding that you can write a story about two characters but know that all the other side/background characters are busy doing things and having their own plotlines when you're not looking, and i feel like the side/background characters of acappella au are doing that. i feel like at any moment i could say "hey i want to write about what x person is up to in acappella au rn" and it would be realistic to do that, which is how i've been able to write more in that 'verse and even write about different characters. maybe i dont fully know the meaning of worldbuilding. whatever.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? prrrrrrrobably? okay "grown on me" is a bit of a strange way to say this but i think ive become a lot more interested in breakup fics? maybe more writing than reading, but til what feels like pretty recently i was very focused on the happy romance part of relationships, or if i wrote any angst or conflict, the conflict was internal and the angst was internal and never interpersonal. but lately (i.e. last few months) ive become much more interested in the complexity of romantic relationships and the difficulty that accompanies them and how people can seem perfect for each other but still break up and how it is possible to have a breakup that isn't anyone's "fault" and what that would entail. like all of that is just very...interesting to me. formerly was not a fan of interpersonal conflict/breakup fics of any kind but i have changed my tune.

27. How long did it take to write you seem so damn familiar? Describe the process. anna i don't know if you're asking me about yssdf because you're indulging me out of kindness or because you have read it and are curious but either way, i love you. anyway, it took me ten days to write! technically. the first like 500 words were written months prior, and then i left them in a doc and didnt touch it for months and forgot it existed (lol). and then i found it, reread it, thought "damn...this is good. i want the rest of this story." and then sam and meghna bullied me into writing the rest of the story. as for the process it was cool and fun but also honestly a lot of the time it was really frustrating because the fic consumed me i was so caught up with finishing it that i effectively stopped doing homework and coursework and anything else i needed to do i was academically treading water just so i could finish writing this goddamn fic. i was so worried that if i stopped writing it, i would lose the Headspace, and i would never be able to get it back and then the fic would never be finished. and my solution to that was to just not stop writing it til it was done. thank god it only took me ten days honestly. it was exhausting. but!! i also had iba (my darling@glitterblazercalum <3) on the doc reading at interval and checking me for like, scientific/medical accuracy, which was a nice safety blanket at least. have i explained enough? maybe yes? to conclude, here's what i sent to the club the moment i realized i was done writing:

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? a lot of things!!!! i think the biggest one that i can think of is knowing when and where to include a kiss. when i was first entering the world of writing fic (destiel fic ill admit it im not ashamed) i was like? 15 maybe? how old was i seven years ago. THIRTEEN? oh my god i was thirteen. anyway i had obviously never been kissed. so i had this strange and wrong perception of at what point over the course of a relationship people will kiss. i wrote a fic where (cringe check lol) dean is at a restaurant and he's ordering pie but they get the order wrong and he gets pissed and starts yelling at the waiter who is castiel and then he realizes cas is actually very pretty and then they...kiss? it's like. maybe 1k total. they start as strangers. like obviously there are MANY flaws with that fic and that's just from the premise i've explained (though thankfully i never posted any of the shitty destiel fic i wrote when i was a young warthog) but clearly i had zero understanding of when people kiss, and also i was using that action to indicate "hey, these people like each other," which is just. there are so many more accurate, more realistic, and overall better ways to show that two people Like each other than for them to just kiss. now i know.

questions for fic writers

[starshine583]

could you do A for the soul mate thing with felinette?

(Sorry it took me so long to reply! I’m still trying to keep up with my schedule for the “New Girl on the Block” fic, but rest assured that I’m totally writing all of the requests for this when I can! The next one I’m going to be working on is V for Daminette. I hope you enjoy the snippet and thank you for the ask!!)

If someone had the choice between technical immortality and certain death, it should be safe to assume that that person would accept the former. Technical immortal was the only logical option, after all. No one wanted to die. And yet, people chose death everyday. In fact, they were obsessed with it, because certain death guaranteed one thing that immortality couldn’t: a soulmate. 

When a person turns eighteen, their aging process freezes due to some strange magic that scientists still can’t explain. From then on, that person will remain eighteen until they find their soulmate, specifically until they touch their soulmate directly with bare skin. Once their soulmate is found, they will begin aging as usual, as if they’d never become temporarily immortal in the first place. Some people speculate that this gives the two soulmates a chance to grow old together.

Felix, personally, believed that it gave him a chance to harbor an unlimited life span free of charge. Who needs a soulmate when you can explore all of the things in the world that are normally hindered by the aging process? There were too many things that he wanted to accomplish for him to worry about something as fickle as love or relationships. 

One of those things happened to be building up the fashion empire that he had inherited.

It was hard to gain the respect that he deserved at first considering his physical appearance made him seem like a child, but once people found out that he was in his late twenties, it made things much easier. Now, three years has passed since his accepting the role of acting CEO, and the company’s success rate has been steadily rising until their profits were through the roof. He’s quite proud of it, if he’s being honest.

Felix straightened the papers on his desk and set them to the side, catching the glimpse of his golden wrist watch as he did so. The little hand pointed towards one in the morning, telling him that he’d spent another late night at the office. He didn’t mind, though. These were the things that needed to be done for his company to excel.

However, he also needed sleep for the company to excel, and this seemed like a good stopping point if ever he saw one, so Felix stood from his rolling chair to begin gathering his things to leave. 

“Hey, Sir, are you up there?” A voice crackled across the intercom. Felix paused his preparations to smile at it. It was the unmistakable voice of Marinette Dupain-Cheng, his personal secretary for the last two years (and his close friend for the last year and a half). They always happened to work late on the same nights, didn’t they?

He pressed the glowing red button on the intercom. “You know I am. What do you need?”

“I’m working on another piece for a fashion show. I want your input.”

Felix chuckled. How many of her pieces had he given his input on now?

“I’ll be down there in a second.”

“You’re the best!”

Felix set his stuff back on the desk and moved towards the door to his office. He hesitated briefly when he spotted his black, leather gloves on the edge of his desk- he made a point to wear them constantly, along with a number of other pieces of clothing, so he could avoid direct skin contact with others. No sense in taking any chances -but decided to leave them alone for once. Marinette should be the only other person in the office, anyway. It wouldn’t make a difference.

He took an elevator down to the second floor, where most of his top designers worked, and walked over to the desk that had its lamp turned on. He’d know which desk was hers either way- could probably find it in his sleep at this point -but it was a nice give away.

Marinette was crouched on the floor when he got there, stabbing a needle into some material that was draped across a mannequin. Her eyes were narrowed with concentration, and her tongue was poking out of her lips as it always did when she was working hard. Felix held back a snort at the endearing sight and glanced around her desk while he waited for her to notice his presence. 

When she first joined his company, she was a budding fashion designer, someone who had been gaining a bit of fame for working with Gabriel Agreste, Jagged Stone, Aubrey Bourgeois, and many other note-worthy people. Apparently, she thought it was time to build a business of her own, and therefore, applied for the job as his personal secretary in an effort to gain experience on how a business should be run before actually starting anything. 

The notion admittedly impressed Felix. People rarely thought to find personal experience in running a business before actually starting one. They normally just took a class and hoped that it paid off. Someone with that kind of rational thinking was someone he knew he wanted in his company, though, so he agreed to hire her, even if she would still be working independently on personal commissions.

Now that two years had passed, she would probably be leaving any minute now to become her own boss. It might be in a week, or in a few months, perhaps even a year, but he found himself dreading it no matter how long she continued to work for him. He’d grown quite accustomed to having her in his life, be it getting lunch together or going over the morning schedule or giving each other advice on their work. The quiet moments they shared made work life a little more enjoyable and made those rare nights of loneliness from refusing a soulmate a little more tolerable too. 

“Oh, Felix!” 

Felix’s eyes dragged back down to Marinette, who was staring up at him with wide eyes.

“When did you get down here?”

A small smile crossed his lips. “You know how it used to be one in the morning?”

Marinette tisked, picking up on his light-hearted tone. “Oh, whatever. If you don’t want to get stuck waiting then tell me when you get here. Now, come look at this and tell me what you think.”

She stood up and moved away from the mannequin, then gestured for Felix to step closer, which he gladly obliged to do. The outfit hanging on the mannequin was a dress that appeared to have several layers and a few frills. It seemed to be made out of silk on the inside, and on the inside was another material that had an antique, flower pattern. The way the materials were sown together, though, and the things she must have added to the flower pattern, didn’t  give off the impression of it being old or outdated. It was a mix between old and new that created a unique combination.

“I think it looks fine.” He said after studying it.

Marinette groaned. “Fine doesn’t help me, Felix. What does it strike you as? Stunning? Charming? Old-Fashioned? I know you have more descriptive terms than ‘fine’ in that word bank brain of yours.”

Felix laughed. “Work bank brain?”

“You know what I mean.”

He does.

“Alright, Alright.” He knelt down next to the outfit again. “Might I inquire about your purpose for this garment?”

“See, there are fancy words you use all the time.” She remarked teasingly, even though she often used the same words herself. “I’m trying to create a modern Victorian type of style for my next show.”

Felix hummed. “Can I see the sketches?”

“Oh, yeah, they’re right over here.”

The pair moved back to Marinette’s desk, and she sat down in her rolling chair to slide a paper towards him. Felix leaned towards Marinette, placing his palms on the desk for balance.

“So, if you look at- oh!” Marinette had just started explaining her original thoughts for the design, when their hands brushed against each other. She drew her hand back immediately, surprise reflecting in her bluebell eyes.

“You’re not wearing any gloves.”

“Ah.” Felix drew his hands back as well. “No, I’m not. I figured they were a waste of time tonight, since it’s only us here.”

“Oh..” Marinette said. “I don’t think I’ve ever touched your bare skin before.. N-not that I’m keeping track or anything! Wow, that sounded so weird-”

Felix, being used to her ramblings by now, only chuckled. “It’s alright. I don’t think we’ve ever touched like that either.”

In fact, he knew they hadn’t, because he does keep track of who he does and doesn’t touch with his bare skin. So far, he’s managed to maintain a low count of five or so, but he supposed adding one more to the list didn’t hurt.

“Anyway, I like the way it looks. The colors combine nicely, and I can certainly see where you’re coming from with the modern, yet old-fashioned design. I’m sure people will enjoy them, especially for costume parties.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Marinette smiled. “Thanks for your help.”

“Of course. I’m actually on my way out the door, but don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything else.”

“You know I won’t.”

Felix laughed and pushed himself off of the desk to begin making his way back to the elevator. “Make sure you leave soon too.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.. Eventually.”

Felix threw her a playful glare over his shoulder. “I’m not kidding, Dupain-Cheng. If I see bags under those eyes tomorrow, you’re going to be fired until you get a proper night’s sleep.”

“Thank goodness for make-up then.” She joked back.

Felix rolled his eyes and bid her farewell as he entered the elevator, and her soft call of “Goodnight, Boss” managed to reach him right before the doors slid closed.

-

The next morning began as any other morning. Felix woke up to his blaring alarm clock, forced himself out of bed, and started the brew for his morning coffee. He then dragged himself over to the bathroom to get ready for the day, starting with his hair.

The mirror provided a picture of his sluggish figure as he combed his platinum blond locks to the side. His hair didn’t seem to care to cooperate that morning though, because his cowlick was refusing to lay aside as they were told. No matter how many times he combed over it, the chaotic locks refused to budge.

Felix huffed and leaned closer to the mirror, but before he could continue furiously coming his hair, something caught his attention.

At the front of his bangs, dangling loosely to the side of his face, was a single, grey hair.

Felix frowned, moving even closer to the mirror to get a better. It was definitely a grey hair, but why on earth would he have one? People at the age of eighteen didn’t get grey hairs, and he’d never gotten one before. The only reason he could possibly get a grey hair out of the blue like this was if-

Felix froze, his eyes blowing wide. No.. no, it couldn’t be. There’s no way he found his soulmate. It was impossible. The aging process only started when he touched them directly, skin to skin, and he’d been horribly precise not to do so with anyone under any circumstances. 

Well.. anyone except..

A knock came from the front door.

Although his mind was racing for answers, Felix pulled himself together enough to throw on a robe and go answer the door. 

Imagine his surprise when he found none other than Marinette standing right outside.

She looked up at him, her figure tense, and a certain anxiety painted her features. He wanted to ask what she was doing there, or why she hadn’t called to tell him that she was coming, but all he could do was stare. Perhaps it was because a part of him already knew why she’d come to visit him. She was the only person he’s touched directly in the last year, the only person who could have caused his hair to change.

Slowly, Marinette held up a strand of her hair. It was hard to make out, being a single strand, but Felix didn’t need to see it know it was grey too.

They stared at each other, both floored by the discovery, but then Felix almost had to laugh. Because of course it was her. Of course the person who he had come to know and adore and yearn to be around daily would be his soulmate. He should have known that soulmates would find each other eventually, whether they had “Soulmate Magic” to guide them or not.

Before he could say anything, Marinette let out a grieved sigh and buried her face in her hands.

“Oh, Felix, I.. I’m so sorry!”

For a moment, Felix stalled, and worry started to set in. She’s sorry? Why would she be sorry?

“What do you mean?”

Marinette looked up from her hands. “I know you didn’t want to find your soulmate and start aging. I should have noticed your ungloved and been more careful, but I just wasn’t thinking, and-”

Felix blinked as she continued rambling. This girl was apologizing to him because she accidentally found out that they were soulmates. She wasn’t thinking about how much she’d wanted to find her soulmate- because he knew that she did -or that she would have gone without a soulmate for the rest of her life had she not made the discovery. No, she was thinking about him and what he had wanted, just as she always did.

“Marinette.” He said, taking her by the shoulders. “Marinette, stop.”

The ravenette paused, glancing up at him with her beautiful, concerned eyes, and he felt himself smile. 

“If anyone had to be stuck as my soulmate.. I can’t express how delighted I am that it’s you.”

A wonderful blush tinted her cheeks. “R-Really? But I thought- what about being immortal?”

Felix chuckled, and he reached out to cup her cheek. “Immortality’s a small price to pay to have you.. if you’ll have me too, that is.”

Marinette exhaled, looking completely baffled, but that didn’t stop her from grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

“Yes.” She breathed, a shining smile coming to her features. “Yes, of course I’ll have you.”

Felix couldn’t help grinning as well, and as he pressed another kiss to her lips, he wondered how it could have taken him so long to realize what the soulmate magic was really all about. It wasn’t a choice between immortality or death, but rather a choice between immortality and life. All of the things he’d been searching for- fame, fortune, glory -and the experiences he’d been chasing meant nothing without Marinette by his side. She was the one who made him feel truly alive, and he never wanted to live without her again.

(Send me a letter and I’ll write a thing!)

[aliennopossumm]

It Will Come Back

Happy [late-] birthday @andromedaspace! I hope you’re having a good week!

Pairing: mutual pining Analogical, romantic Analogical at the end Warnings: homophobia, hurt/comfort, quite a lot of cursing, kissing, so much awkward silence Characters: Logan Sanders, Virgil Berry, Roman Smith Character notes: autistic nonbinary Logan [they/them], autistic trans Virgil [xe/xem], genderqueer acearo Roman [he/prince]

Fic summary: Logan had known Virgil for a while now, but when they start getting gay thoughts, they consult Roman to help

2,921 words 16,543 characters

you can also read this over on AO3

It had been about three or so months since Logan had met Virgil. Since their original run in with each other, the two had been hanging out quite a bit, not restricting themselves to just the forest they first met each other in. Unfortunately for Logan, xe did not go to their highschool, but was rather homeschooled; this didn't stop Virgil in any way, however. After a week of knowing them, xe started to wait outside the school gates for Logan, making a habit of walking them home. This day was not any different, Logan making their way out of a particularly uninteresting English lesson - it did lift their mood knowing Virgil would be waiting. They were one of the last one's out, looking around for xem. Anxiousness started to consume them, unable to see xem outside - did xe just leave them?

They frowned slightly, taking their phone out of their pocket to see if they had any message. Logan jumped a little when everything went dark, panicking slightly, before realising somebody was just covering their eyes.

"Guess whoooo?" Logan relaxed at Virgil's voice, gently removing xyr hands with their own.

"Hey Vee," they smiled, turning around, "I thought you had left."

"Nope, just this guy was talking to me. Think he was British?"

Logan's eyes widened slightly in realisation, "Roman?"

"Yeah! Prin was asking me about you," Virgil took Logan's hand, as xe usually did when they walked home together, "he sorta... gave me a shovel talk? The whole 'hurt them and I'll hurt you' schtick."

A whine escaped Logan's mouth, "I told prin specifically to not bother you. I'm sorry, Virge"

"Hey, it's okay, it's cute how much your friends care about you," xe chuckled softly, checking both directions before leading the two across the road. Logan blushed a small bit at the comment, going to speak again. They were cut off by a yell from a passing car, making the pair turn their heads. The engine was so loud, Logan couldn't make out what whoever was in the car said exactly, but they could make out the last few words.

"What are you, gay!?"

It was said with so much bitterness, so much hatred. Several conflicting feelings started to consume Logan - anger, sadness, a small tang of guilt. They looked at Virgil with a hard to make out expression, their mouth unable to mutter anything, but their mind screaming. It told them to run in the opposite direction, to yell at their friend, to apologise, to kiss Virgil. Why did they want to kiss Virgil?

A few seconds passed, both of them clearly uneasy. Virgil shifted xyr hand slightly, making it obvious xe was considering letting go. Xe spoke after a few more seconds of silence, "I'm sorry, L."

"'s fine," Logan refused to look at Virgil, rather staring at the interlocked hand. As much as their brain begged and screamed for them to let go, they didn't. It was nice, they felt loved for once.

The older one nodded, swallowing dryly and starting to walk again, "right, right. Let's just get you home, hm?" No more words were able to escape Logan's mouth, just nodding and gingerly following xem. To their mutual dislike, the next ten or so minutes were spent in complete awkward silence. Both opened their mouths to speak at a few points, but not a word was said from either of them. Neither pointed this out, eventually reaching the door of Logan's block of apartments.

The building seemed to loom over the pair of friends now, making Logan feel as if they were shrinking into a miniscule room with just Virgil, forced to be close. It was an uncomfortably claustrophobic feeling.

"I'll uh, I'll get going," Virgil finally said, "see ya."

"Bye," Logan mumbled, quickly letting go of xyr hand and making their way upstairs without looking back at xem. On most occasions, Virgil would walk them to the front door, and xe would then call them on xyr way back to their own home. None of this happened though, sulking their way into the kitchen. Anxiously, Logan peered out the window to see where Virgil was - it did make them feel a bit creepy for doing so, but they were worried. Xe ended up making uncomfortable eye contact, the two immediately breaking it once they had noticed. As if their world was falling to pieces, which is what it felt like, Logan poured themselves a glass of cold water and hurriedly walked to their own room. It was quiet. Virgil wasn't being called, their parents weren't home, the AC was turned off. It was quiet.

Too quiet. Logan hated it, reaching their room and shutting the door with their foot. Everything in their brain yelled at them to just slump onto the floor with their back against the door, but they decided against it. They hung up their bag, walking to their bed and taking several long gulps of water. It was cold, numbing their teeth slightly. Iciness rushed to their brain, resulting in a groan and a small pampth where they fell onto their back and shifted so they laid on their pillow. Everything was fine until those kids. They harshly blinked a few times before staring at the green stars, planets and moon that were stuck above their bed, reaching out gently. Logan "grabbed" the moon next to the Earth with their hand, closing it into a fist as they were holding it. Nothing else changed, the room staying still. It couldn't have been more than a minute before their arm started to become tired, letting out a built up sigh and letting their arm flop next to them on the bed. The moon reminded them of Virgil. In an, only somewhat successful, attempt of getting their mind off their friend, they started to count the plastic stars.

Twenty six... twenty seven... twenty nine- wait, shit, they messed up. Logan groaned loudly, rolling onto their side. Nothing could make them stop thinking. With thoughts still buzzing, they wiggled out of the dark jacket they were wearing, taking their phone into their hand before throwing the clothing onto the floor. On most days, they'd be extremely strict with themself about keeping their room clean, but at this point, they had no energy to care. The phone was unlocked, showing the background - a selfie Virgil took of xem and Logan. It had a corny SnapChat filter on top of it, a black bar at the bottom with white text reading 'my nerd <4'. Great, now they were overthinking if there was any hidden context to that. Yet again, they sighed, opening their contacts and scrolling to the bottom. Logan's thumb hovered over the contact name 'Virge<3' for several seconds, before scrolling up an embarrassing amount from the V contact page to the R contact page. They hesitantly clicked on the contact name 'Ro 👑’, sitting up and leaning their back against their headboard.

Ring ring. "C'mon, Ro, pick up," Logan mumbled impatiently," ring ring, "c'mon, please..." ring ri-

"Yellow?" Roman's voice came from the other side, the soft sound of Mitski in the background.

"Roman, I think I've fucked up."

"You, fucking up?" Roman was heard sitting up, "that's a change. What happened?"

"Virge and I were walking from school and... and it was fine, until this group of kids sped past us in their shitty car. They said some shit and we ended up walking home in silence," they groaned loudly, "xe didn't even call me after xe left, just... walked away."

"What did they say, Lo?" The younger's voice was much softer now, the background music turned down so prin could listen better.

"We were holding hands and they-" Logan swallowed dryly, slipping down the headboard, "they yelled 'what are you, gay?'. I can't stop thinking about it."

"They just saw two masculine presenting people being close friends and jumped to conclusions. Plus, you two are gay, just not for eachother."

"I- I guess, but now I'm just confused," Logan laid back down onto their back, "my brain was yelling at me to do so many things at once. To run away, or yell at xem, or kiss xem, or say sorry-"

"To kiss xem?" Roman repeated, a chuckle at the bottom of his throat, "I think you may be slightly gay for xem."

Logan groaned, "I'm not." They looked away from the direction of the phone, despite the fact Roman could not see them. "At least, I don't think I am," they mumbled the last part quietly.

"Logan," prin was heard shuffling on his bed, sounding as though he sat up, "what made you concerned? What those assholes said, or the small chance you may be in love with Vee?"

They didn't reply for a few seconds, taking several deep breaths. Logan shifted uncomfortably, "I actually... think it's more of the second option. I... the other thoughts didn't even really bother me, because I know I wouldn't run from xem or yell at them. But I know I would happily apologise and-" they bit their lip, "and I would... happily... kiss xem..."

"I'm glad I gave xem the shovel talk now," Roman chuckled softly, "listen, do you want my shitty aro advice, or do you want to suffer with whatever your feelings are?"

Logan let out another mix of a sigh and a groan, "sure. Something is better than nothing."

"Tell xem - listen, before you go on a rant about how you can't," Logan shut their mouth which they did open in protest, "tell xem how you feel. This isn't the first time you've had these gay feelings for xem, is it? You like holding xyr hand, spending time with xem. Hell, you've called the time you spent in the forest with xem 'dates'! On multiple occasions. It's clear you like xem - it may not be romantic, but you like xem so fucking much. You were both outcasts, weren't you?"

Logan took a shaky breath, processing all the information they were just told. They blinked once or twice, "yeah, neither of us really had... many friends when we met. Virge was homeschooled and I only really knew you and Patt at this point."

"You have a genuine connection, everyone can tell that - even the fucks who taunted you. You love xem, and xe loves you. Your feelings are the reason you enjoy being physical, loving to just be in each other's company; why you had such a knee-jerk reaction to the thought of kissing xem. You probably had similar thoughts before, haven’t you?" Roman silently waited for them to reply.

Thinking back through the month's they had known xem, Logan realised the answer was yes. They mumbled the response quietly, and prin did hear it.

"But you're thinking so hard into this because for once, somebody else recognised this. Those kids... they mocked you for potentionally liking xem, they made you realise that you may actually be gay for xem. You've always seen xem as attractive, haven't you?"

Their world seemed as if it was shrinking in on themselves at the realisation, but was able to squeeze out a few more words, "yeah, since... since the moment we met. Even though xe was teasing me when I first saw xem, it... I appreciated how attractive they were. Fuck."

"You alright?" Roman's tone shifted - it was no longer their serious and lecture-esque voice, but soft. It sounded, as Logan liked to put it due to being an only child, like a protective brother's voice.

"I think so? Thank you, Ro, so much," Logan let out a small, happy noise, "I should text xem."

"Yeah," it was almost as if Roman's smile could be felt from the other side of the phone, "yeah, you should. Good luck, Lo-gay."

"I told you to stop calling me that," they ruffled their own hair, a habit they had picked up from both Virgil and Roman, "thank you, Ro, really. Bye, I love you."

"I love you toooo~” Roman sang the last word, "farewell!"

Once the call was over, the room went back into being too quiet, too cold. They lowered the phone from their ear, looking at the screen; underneath Roman's contact name was the call time - almost fifteen minutes. That conversation lasted for that long? Attempting to ignore everything else that was currently happening at the moment, pressing the back button and scrolling to Virgil's name in their contacts. At first, they were going to just call xem to ask, but opted to just texting. Logan bit their lip, anxiously writing out a message in an attempt to follow Roman's advice. Triple checking the message, though it felt as they read it back over a thousand times, they finally hit send on the message.

'Hey, Virge, I'm so incredibly sorry for the walk home today. I just froze up. Can we meet up at the place we first met to talk?'

They closed the texting window, looking back up to the ceiling stars. Nothing in them was really expecting Virgil to be that happy to talk to them again after what had happened, so you could imagine their shock when the phone almost immediately chimed. Logan pulled the phone to their face, clicking on the notification from Virgil, to their surprise.

'itz alr , l , promis . not mad ! u mean by the lake? cus if so , i ' ll see you ther in uhhh'

'10 minz?'

As usual, xyr typing ended up comforting Logan. They smiled sadly at the message, starting to sit up as they wrote a reply.

'Yeah, the lake! I’ll see you soon, Virge?'

‘ yea yea ‘

'<4'

For no particular reason, the difference of how Virgil typed emoticon hearts made Logan feel all bubbly inside. A green bag was slung over their shoulder - the bag which contained all their forest-exploring gear. Anxiety still consumed them for the most part, but knowledge that Virgil was safe and wasn't mad soothed them. Knowledge seemed to comfort them often, slipping on some black Doc Martens. The phone was gently placed into their pocket, leaning down and lacing the shoes up. They took a large, deep breath and left the apartment, humming to themselves to divert any nervous thoughts from their mind. Warmth covered their body almost as soon as they stepped outside their block of apartments, making their way towards the forest.

It didn't take long for them to reach the still lake, noticing Virgil sitting in the same place where they first met. Logan swallowed dryly, sitting opposite to them and leaning against their favourite moss-covered rock. They didn't want to have the first word.

"I'm sorry, L," Virgil repeated their same statement from a while earlier, "I should've broken the silence and said something more."

"It's okay, it wasn't either of our faults. I-" they refused to make eye contact, "I spoke to Roman about what happened."

"What did he say?" xe gently took one of their hands. Logan didn't reply, not holding Virgil's hand but not pulling away either. "L, what did he say?"

"He comforted me and made... made me think about shit."

"Think about what?" Virgil's voice was gentle, rubbing xyr thumb over Logan's hand gently.

"I wanted to kiss you."

"Oh."

"Sorry," it was the only thing they could think of. Truthfully they didn't know why they were apologising, or what exactly for. Virgil didn't visibly look uncomfortable. Were they apologising for having queer thoughts?

"Don't be," xe never stopped stroking their hand, looking down at it and processing what xe was just told.

"I still want to kiss you."

"Oh," Virgil repeated, but still didn't stop. Nothing Logan did could make xem stop attempting to calm them. "I, just- why?"

"Because you're... you. You're fun, and kind, and cheer me up," Logan's voice slowly grew more confident with each word, "you always make me smile and I enjoy the time we spend together. You're pretty, and a bit sarcastic, but still so loving and- and you're Virgil. I love you because you are Virgil."

Xe didn't reply for several seconds; Logan held their breath, going to apologise before getting cut off by xem.

"Kiss me, idiot."

Logan flushed slightly, the stars in their eyes. They gently leaned closer, softly kissing xem. It wasn't the best kiss in the world - neither of them having that much experience. Even so, it was tender and love-filled, Virgil pulling back after a few seconds. Xe breathed out deeply, chuckling when xe noticed how Logan now had slightly black stained lips.

"Shit, I-" xe smiled, "kissing before marriage?" Virgil gently smudged the transferred lipstick around their mouth with a thumb. "So..."

"I liked that," said Logan, leaning into xyr hand, "I like you."

"So much you want me as your boyfriend?" It was slightly jokingly, but truthfully it was the only thing xe wanted at that moment.

Logan paused, kissing xyr nose, "please?"

Virgil chuckled, peppering kisses on their face, "of course. I love you, nerd."

"I love you too."

Logan leaned their head on xyr shoulder, smiling widely. They'll be okay.

[pechebeche]

Sorry, I should be clearer. You don't have to post this. I did see the 'callout' but I didn't know them. I thought the Ace Discourse takes were non-issues but then I saw the part about antiblackness and thought, "OK, I see where they got that from". And at the time it looked like someone had informed you but you were ignoring it. If they didn't, and you weren't, that's a different story. I'm sorry you were harassed, I don't agree with that. But you did seem unaware of why it came across so bad.

alright. i am going to outline the two major accusations i think you're talking about - one of which was completely off the wall, and one of which actually was a good critique of my actions, which was then mixed in with all the other accusations.

the first was that i defended a slavery au. that's fucking insane. i never did that. what i DID was not block a user who had created one and later apologized, because the only person who talked with me about it was anonymous. i was not quite as suspicious of anons then as i am now, but friends of mine had been the victim of abusers twisting genuine mistakes and co-opting activist language to isolate and turn people against their victims, so i had a policy of not doing anything based on an anon's word alone, since i couldn't check their credibility. i instead said that i would follow the lead of poc in the community, which i later did by blocking the artist.

in retrospect, it was my whiteness that allowed me to give them the benefit of the doubt that their initial au was a mistake and that they might deserve a second chance. that was not my call to make. it is also, in large part, because i gave literally everyone the benefit of the doubt. i gave genuine responses to an anon who said i was 'playing the sexual trauma card' three times before i realized they wouldn't listen. that doesn't justify it, though, and was a character flaw as a pushover just as much as it was racist. i was wrong for that.

(as a side note, the anon later cited this discussion on twitter as proof i had 'talked over and refused to listen to' a person of color, as if....i just. had some sort of Spidey Sense that tingled when an anon was white. i still pretty firmly believe that a lot of that discussion came from a basic, widespread misunderstanding of what anonymity fully entails, but that's a conversation for another time.)

the other major accusation is one i will freely admit, as i always have, was a fully warranted and credible one in its original form. i had been commissioned to write a kingston/kugrash fic, and there had recently been a rash of discussion that i had never seen beforehand about the ship being disliked. i was uncertain whether it was inherently racist, and thus if i would need to back out of the project and refund the commissioner, or if this was just a personal issue that people had.

without knowing more about what the problem was, it was hard for me to google 'problematic rat curse shipping' with hope of any actual answers, so i asked an open question about what the specific problem was on twitter (which i did, to my little credit, clarify several times throughout the conversation that no one was obligated to respond to or engage with, and that i was certain the fault was mine for ignorance). another user very kindly and patiently explained to me the importance of canon interracial ships that don't involve white people. i asked what i, at the time, thought was a clarification question about the lack of non-het characters of color to ship in interracial relationships, but what in retrospect was very much a defensive attempt to push through the issue with as little change to my actions as possible. they rightfully called me out on being performative; i apologized and promised to look back on the conversation later and reflect on it.

i learned after the fact that the other person involved was a minor, and upon learning it, immediately deleted all of my part in the conversation. i don't regret that. my memory of that time is too fuzzy to know whether what i said would have damned or aided me, but ultimately, that doesn't matter at all in comparison to making sure that user wouldn't face any of the harassment that i later did. they're one of the other people who i really, truly believe was well intentioned, and whose advice i still take very seriously when reflecting on my actions.

the call out post was made the next day. it was possible to frame it as my 'being informed but ignoring it' by utterly distorting the context of the first accusation, and thus being able to use the second, much more credible accusation to prop it up as more legitimate. i am not going to pretend i didn't make mistakes, because i did, and i will continue to. but i wanted to, and was willing, to learn. i think the fact that i still tried to parse genuine criticisms from harassment even as i actively regressed to my lowest points, and am still trying to more than a year later, is evidence of that.

in the end, though, the veracity of the racism accusations wasn't actually the root of the poster's hatred of me. (i actually recall making a post at the time stating that when i talked about people harassing me, i specifically was not talking abt critiques of my racism, and that i was grateful that people were calling me out and forcing me to adjust my perspective. there was a very clear distinction between people trying to educate me and people trying to hurt me.) what they hated about me was that i wrote nsfw fanfic about aged up characters, and that, when told that this made people uncomfortable, promised to make it easily blockable for them, but did not outright remove them, because i felt that as i was writing about adults in a consenting relationship and the pieces were largely a proxy for delayed-by-trauma exploration of my own sexuality, i didn't feel there was anything inherently immoral about them. thats what they hated me for. that's why i was called a pedophile and a bitch and had my chosen name mocked widely. the poster stated outright thats why they hated me. the accusations of racism were, i believe, largely to pad the post out for people who wouldn't hate me for that alone.

[havingacrisisabtdeanw]

So I read 91 W.

Also, trigger warnings under the cut for mentions of suicidality

This isn’t actually going to really be about the fanfic 91 W, I don’t really know what it’s going to be about. Just that Supernatural and spn related content keep pulling things out of me that I thought were buried. Fuck. It’s been a trip today.

I almost joined the army when I was 18 - I wanted to use the scholarship to get through college. As it was we only had money for three years (aid sucked in my state) and by the end of my freshman year they basically guaranteed me a scholarship.

More than four years of college, I wanted out of my fucking life. I wanted out of my mom’s house so bad by that point I was breaking. I started having panic attacks that I couldn’t control, no one knew, no one was around, and they were always triggered by the thoughts of the friends I had made. I thought about how I couldn’t believe they wanted to be friends with me and the hope that I had worth, that I had a life outside of my miserable circumstances, mixed with my habitual searing self rejection forced me to break the fuck down. When I say I wanted out of my life I don’t necessarily mean that I was suicidal, but damn if my concern for myself was so low that any promise that I might never have to go back home again and I would jump for it, no matter the mortality rate. Army will keep you away from home for as long as you fucking want.

I didn’t join the army. I got a corporate stamp of approval at a summer internship, a promise that I would “go far” in economics or whatever I felt like pursuing from someone who was enough of a stranger to me for me to trust them. I remember the terror of turning down the offer, of turning over my ROTC gear. They make it easier to join than to leave.

So I didn’t leave. I joined the military fraternity on campus and received as a gift two of the fucking worst years of my life. I’m only kind of exaggerating. I went from the hazing of the fat army almost retired brass, too concerned with getting the suburbanite college students to sign their lives over to really put much thought into giving us hell to the much more energetic hazing of my ROTC college peers. To say I had no context was an understatement, and it will take me years to work through the fucking number that the experience did on me.

Worse was what I turned around and did to the class below me. I don’t think my methods were worse, if anything I stood by my promise to myself that I would be softer, and I know that the fraternity is different now, but I was sliding quickly toward to precipice of breakdown and everything in my brain was going downhill, my planning skills along with it. I don’t ever want to not be a civilian. There are days that I remember too clearly if I try, so I don’t try. Funny how reading military fanfiction will pull things out of you. I don’t have much inclination to be more specific in this paragraph.

My mom and stepdad were the only people in my life who were really advising me against joining the army, which was ineffective as they were literally the people I was trying to escape from. I would stay at my mom’s house on breaks from college while I was involved with my fraternity, and she was shocked when I told her a year later that they had hazed me.

On that, I’m blessed right now to be surrounded by people who know me well enough to call me on my “I’m okay” bullshit, who know to check on me, who can provide me company when I need it or leave me alone if I need that. I’m blessed that I got old enough that I learned how to speak through my pain, to trust that the ugly things I held inside myself weren’t so ugly to other people, that I got old enough to meet people who would take the all the ugly pieces of me and stroke them gently. I’m not religious, but saying “blessed” makes me feel less terrified than saying “lucky” because oh god what if everything had been different and then I’m hyperventilating again.

But things were different when I was in high school. I fell out of touch with a lot of my high school friends over the past couple years and recently have been reconnecting. I love them all to bits and am so happy, but oh boy is the me that I see reflected in how they talk to me not the me that the people around me know. They never saw through the “I’m okay.” They never saw the ugly parts of me. And I cried when I thought of them because of how terrified I was that oh they’ll hate me if they know who I really am.

I am okay now. I am okay reconnecting with my old friends and laughing about old times and talking about my depression as though it was just something I experienced between the ages of 19 and 22, as though it wasn’t brewing the whole time they knew me, and if the conversation goes there I can say “It’s okay, I was young and didn’t know how to talk about it.” Which, true.

I’m not angry at them, anymore. I used to be. You always took so much from me, and gave so little back. Years of being the mom friend, the one who would hear them out and try to give them good advice, just thankful that someone was willing to give my weird ass the time of day. Misplaced. I was young and I didn’t know how to talk about it. How does a 14 year old know how to explain to someone they’ve known 6 months that every day they wake up scared to go to school because there are too many people, their family life is a bad joke that would make a sitcom audience go “this is too much,” and they’re hungry more often than they can even bare to notice.

I got out, and I didn’t join the army and I didn’t kill myself. I’m “pursuing my dream” in academia, studying mathematics. I’m surrounded by people who don’t know me and I don’t know them, and it’s hard sometimes not to hate them for not knowing what I’ve gone through and not appreciating how much of a miracle it is that I’m here in the first place without me having to explain it. Today was one of those days. I sat in class and scrolled through army fanfic on my phone and looked around at my classmates and thought “they won’t know, they’ll never know.” As if they should know.

They shouldn’t. Nobody should. I don’t, even. It’s funny for me to be so triggered by a WW2 fic when I was barely a toenail sliver into the military in my entire life. Hell, one of the friends I had a breakdown over joined up and I’m desperately trying to get her to leave before she ends up dead - undisclosed medical issues.

But not all wars are fought on a battlefield, and wishing you were more traumatized is a great sign that you were traumatized, and badly. And I was.

I had a brief moment in the bathroom after class where I almost lost control completely (but I had to work) and the trigger wasn’t remembering everything that happened - it was remembering that there are people in my life now who are angry on my behalf, an anger that negates my attempt to go “I’m okay, this is normal, everyone goes through shit.”

I escaped, but goddamn are there days when I have trouble believing it.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 17

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Some truths come out... and some don't.

A/N:  Did you really think I'd leave you hanging for too long? Now it's finally time to find out what happens when Calypso and Percy meet. I'm a bit worried some characters may sound a bit OOC here but writing conflict has never been my piece of cake so I was a bit out of my comfort zone here. But I tried! Without a further ado, I hope you guys enjoy! And let me know what you think!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Piper, Jason, Annabeth, Percy

Words: 1899

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

…

“Hold on, what’s going on here?” Leo asked, finally letting go of Calypso and throwing the last piece of the cupcake in his mouth. “You two know each other?”

“Well…” Calypso started but couldn’t find the right words to explain the situation.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Percy admitted when it became obvious that she wouldn’t be able to answer. “We used to chat online.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “Chat… online? As in…?” 

“On Tinder, yeah. But that was a long time ago.” Percy glanced at his girlfriend varily. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

Calypso wasn’t happy about Percy’s choice of words. To her, it had been a rather big deal, because the internet had been the only way she had been able to stay in contact with the outside world and she did care about the bonds she formed there. And Percy had seemed different from most of the people she had met online. Had. Until she had discovered she was wrong, after all.

“If it wasn’t a big deal,” Annabeth frowned. “Then why do you look so nervous and why did Calypso just go bright red? I may not be quite as good at reading people as Piper is but usually that isn’t a good sign.”

“Annabeth…” Calypso answered instead of Percy. “You are my friend and I’m not going to lie to you. I did have a crush on him, but that was two years ago and we cut things off entirely when Percy told me he wanted to start dating someone else.”

“Wait… you were the girl he was seeing before me? I… how…?” Annabeth asked, her eyes wide as owl’s.

“You were still seeing Luke,” Percy said carefully. “I liked you, Annabeth, but in all honesty, I didn’t think you’d break up with him. So, I met Calypso online and she seemed nice, but…”

“But I was always just a second choice to you,” Calypso said a bit bitterly.

“Hey, I never meant any of it to happen! I didn’t want to hurt you,” Percy tried to defend himself.

“...But it just happened,” Calypso finished for him, her voice poisonous.

Annabeth ignored their arguing.

“I remember…” she addressed Percy, “before I told you about Luke and my break up, you ranted about this girl who was so pretty and sweet and lonely and you hoped to meet her because she was living in the same city. You never told me her name, though, or what happened to her. Eventually, I just kind of… forgot. And now I find out that girl is my friend. This is just so weird…”

“A small world, huh?” Percy tried to lighten the mood, failing at it.

“It’s not funny, Jackson.” Annabeth scowled at him. “So… did you guys ever meet face to face?”

“Just once,” Calypso hurried to answer. “And at the end of it? Percy told me that he only liked me as a friend.” Two years worth of in kept emotions decided to pop on the surface in that moment, and Calypso directed the frustration at Percy. “By the way, Percy, I appreciate your honesty but you really could have told me that before I arranged the whole thing. You knew the circumstances.”

Leo had listened to the whole conversation with his mouth open, his head going back and forth between the arguers, but now he felt he had completely fallen out of it, so he asked: “Woah, you guys! Calm down a bit! What circumstances?”

“It’s nothing,” Calypso said quickly.

“It’s not nothing!” Percy exclaimed but seeing Calypso’s warning glare, he quickly shut up.

Annabeth casted Percy a disbelieving look. “Wait, she talked about whatever was going on with her to you? We’ve been friends for several months now and she still hasn’t told me what happened at the mall that one time…”

“Annabeth, I couldn’t…” Calypso wanted to explain but she knew that whatever she’d say probably wouldn’t help the situation. 

“Calypso, friends don’t have secrets. I’ve been trying to be patient, but I’m getting tired of this. Just tell me one thing. Based on what you just told me, you would have been ready for a relationship with Percy. Do you still like him?”

Calypso wanted to say a very unhesitant no, that that raft had sailed away a long time ago, and she might be seeing a new one on the horizon... But she realized she couldn’t say that in front of Leo because she hadn’t fully admitted that to herself yet, much less to anyone else. Besides that, she was also feeling rather intimidated by the situation, so the words escaped her. “I… uh… no.”

“That sounded pretty hesitant,” Annabeth pointed out. She looked like she wanted to say more, but thankfully, Piper decided to intervene in that moment.

“Alright, guys. To me it sounds like some of you are overreacting. So, Cal and Percy used to chat online before Percy and Annabeth started dating. To which they had every right. Calypso had a crush on Percy, which I suppose isn’t that weird even though I myself am not seeing the charm.” She gave her own boyfriend a quick smile. “They met once face to face and on that date Percy told Calypso he liked someone else instead. Doesn’t sound like the smartest idea but I guess Percy preferred telling that way instead of over a message. Right, Percy?”

“R-right,” he stammered, probably worried about how the girls would react.

“Then Calypso mentioned something about ‘circumstances’ but sounds like it’s something very personal so it’s up to her if she wants to tell us more about that. For now I’d suggest that we’d leave that topic alone.”

“Thanks, Piper,” Calypso said gratefully. “This is probably not the best moment to talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” Piper said, looking at the others challengingly, then at her watch. “Maybe it’s time for us all to go home. It’s getting kind of late.”

Agreeing mumbling could be heard from the room. When Piper put her leader mode on, no one really dared to resist her. Calypso thought briefly that she’d be an excellent boss for some company one day.

Percy and Annabeth didn’t say much when they left, perhaps their silence speaking more volumes than words could have. As the door closed, Piper sighed.

“I’m sorry this went this way. I promise I had a good time…”

“Until I messed everything up.” Calypso said quietly.

“What?” Piper asked. “I wasn’t gonna say that!”

“Yes but it’s the truth. I complicate everything. I can’t believe the first person I made friends with here… was, um, somehow connected to my past.”

“She must feel just as weird as you do,” Piper reminded. “I think it might be good for you to take a time off and ask yourself if you should let something that happened several years ago affect your friendship. You didn’t do anything wrong; Annabeth just needs to cool down a bit to be able to accept that. And when she’s ready, explain to her what really happened.”

“My girlfriend, the boss lady,” Jason, who had followed the situation quietly, said acceptingly. “You handled this situation awesomely.”

“Pfft, Grace, you just say that because I sleep with you.” Piper chuckled.

“He is not wrong, though,” Calypso was quick to add. “I think you did exactly what needed to be done. And just gave me some good advice. So thank you, again.”

“No problem. And hey, if anything comes up… you can definitely contact me. Annabeth may have been my friend longer, but you’re my friend too.”

“Yeah, thanks, I will,” Calypso said, managing a small smile.

After that Jason and Piper said their goodbyes and left Leo and Calypso alone in their flat.

“That was… pretty intense,” Leo finally broke the silence when it was about to get awkward. For some reason, he seemed disappointed about something even though Calypso couldn’t decide what. That she had ruined the evening? Or could it be… that he was upset to find out that she used to have a crush on his friend? No, that couldn’t have been it, Calypso thought, because what reason had she ever given Leo to like her? When she thought about it, she had mainly been sarcastic and kind of cold in his company, probably not something most people cared about.

“Yeah…” Calypso didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to explain, to say that she really didn’t feel much of anything towards Percy anymore, but what would that help? She’d probably only make things even more awkward than they already were. Especially if she was wrong and Leo was disappointed for example because she might have caused friction between his friends. “Listen, I didn’t mean to…”

“Whatever,” Leo stopped her, sounding a bit sharper than what Calypso was used to hearing. “I guess it’s none of my business anyway.”

Calypso understood the implications in Leo’s comment. One of the reasons why he was mad was because she wasn’t telling him the whole truth. But she could not get him mixed in the life she was trying to escape from…

The whole situation made Calypso frustrated and she took it out in a way she later regretted: “Why are you acting like that? What happened with Percy has nothing to do with you!”

“Well, it becomes my issue too if it affects my friends! Besides, I… I care about you… because you’re my flatmate, of course! And if my friend hurt you…”

Calypso was totally taken aback by Leo’s answer. She hadn’t even considered that he might actually be worried about her. Her face softened as she replied: “What happened back then… it doesn’t matter anymore. He and I were never exclusive. So really, it was my fault in the first place thinking that we could have a future. Not with… everything happening anyway.”

“There, that’s the other problem,” Leo said in a low voice. “You never tell me… Calypso, even though I may seem like it sometimes, I’m not stupid. You’re not telling us something that’s obviously very important to you. And hearing that Percy knows… well, it does feel weird.”

“Leo, think about your worst memory,” Calypso said, her eyes looking even darker than usual. “And tell me if you’d be willing to tell it to me, right here, right now. If the answer is no… well, then you might understand what I feel.”

“I…” Leo started, but then hesitated, his expression turning dark. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to…”

“Forget.” Calypso finished for him. “Guess you might understand, after all.”

“Yeah, maybe… I hope that we can be honest with each other, one day, though.”

“I hope so, too,” Calypso agreed.

“Listen, I’m gonna call it a night,” Leo finally broke the silence that had fallen into the room, combing his hair with his fingers. “Got lots to do tomorrow. So, see ya.”

“Night,” Calypso said after him. She was sad that the affection that had been there the other night as they had said good night to each other seemed almost non-existent right now. Maybe the bubble around them had broken when they voiced their issues out loud. But Calypso wasn’t someone who gave up that easily. She wouldn’t let the ghosts of the past stop her from living her life anymore.

[hellreads]

Hi! Can you suggest some good immersive fics that will make me feel all the feels? Even better if they're series! Thank you I love your blog!!

hi there sweetie, thank you for loving this blog, lemme love you too!💕💖✨ hmm this is tricky, to ask me of all people for immersive fic recommendations because I always immerse (to me reading something I enjoy and immersing in it makes me feel like I’m an actress playing the part so whatever genre it is watch me get into it 100%) but I’ll try and make a list of fics one per member, where I immersed myself through and through (shit this is harder than I thought, btw WII stands for why I immersed lol ~ list under the cut) 😅 | 🍒

➴ Kim Namjoon❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah​➴ Author/Yandere!AU | Author!Namjoon x Agent!Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…”➴ WII: I love Misery by Stephen King plus its movie adaption and LTVW gave me reverse Misery vibes, I know most people wouldn’t want to put themselves or immerse into stories like this but the adrenaline rush of being in MC’s shoes? delicious, I felt like as soon as Namjoon’s plan came to fruition my body astral projected to see him in all his yandere glory.

➴ Kim Seokjin❥ In the Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx​➴ Idol/Prostitution!AU | Idol!Seokjin x CEO!Reader x Idol!Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.So what happens when you mix fire and ice?You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.➴ WII: tbh starting this fic I never really knew what I was getting into, all I saw was Kim Seokjin and I was sold, I was never a Park Chanyeol stan before reading this but I ended up being one, there’s a lot going on in this series but to immerse and be in a love triangle between the two men and feel the push and pull plus intense passionate emotions they’re willing to shower you with will tear you apart, but don’t worry there are two doors at the end of the story you get to choose between Jin or Chanyeol. 

➴ Min Yoongi❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective/Infidelity!AU | Detective Inspector!Yoongi x Homicide Detective!Reader x Teacher!Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.➴ WII: I have always had a thing for working in forensics, profiling people, investigating crime scenes, and basically any investigator/detective/analyst work and this story right here helped me get that feel because there are actual cases they work on here with vivid descriptions to help that wild imagination of yours *wink* + the whole infidelity affair is a mystery you’ll have to use your deduction skills.

➴ Jung Hoseok❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Mob/Infidelity!AU | Mob Boss!Jin x Wife!Reader x Mob!Yoongi x Mob!Hoseok | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.➴ WII: this will put you in a rollercoaster ride of emotions there are actually three members here that will make things quite hard for you, but I have to say BG Hoseok is definitely one of my favorite characterizations of him, though there will be a push and pull of emotions once you get further into the story.. also, you’ll have to go through so much because immersing in this one will hurt a lot to the point where your heart is almost numbed.

➴ Park Jimin❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland​➴ Neighbor/Stalker!AU | Stalker!Jimin x Neighbor!Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.➴ WII: hey it’s ya girl danger lover (my tag line lol), seriously immersing in this one will kinda make you wonder about MC and her choices as if Jimin cast a spell on her, there is this psychological manipulation he uses on her and it will drive you to madness because you will still bend to him and find him irresistible + the kinks here = wildt.

➴ Kim Taehyung❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax​➴ Assassin!AU | Assassin!Taehyung x Assassin!Kinsoo x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know➴ WII: now I know you’re probably wondering if it’s possible to immerse in fics with named OC? as I said I’m an actress who plays the part when reading and to immerse into the enigma that is Kinsoo is a wonderful experience, this belongs to the list of the intense fics I immersed into and if you’re the type to go all out when immersing no matter what genre or theme (taboo) the story contains you’ll enjoy the intensity of this one because you get everyone’s POV as you go through making you understand each character better and there is actual assassin work here if you enjoy the stealth way, you’ll appreciate Taehyung and Kinsoo’s work and the people that work for them.

➴ Jeon Jungkook (I’ll list five why not? I have read way too many JJK fics lol)❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Cheater!Jungkook x Cheater/GF!Reader x BF!Jimin | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.➴ WII: if there’s one story I will never shut up about? it’s this one, I always recommend this to friends, this is the perfect depiction of having a taste of your own medicine in fic form, immersing in this one will make you fall for Jungkook and hope for your own ending, but this won’t sugarcoat anything for you and that’s what I love about this story, but tbh I still think of my own ending every single night. sighhhhh.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi​➴ F2L!AU | BFF!Taehyung x BFF/GF!Reader x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.➴ WII: okay, me putting this under the list for Jungkook must expose which side I’m on but that’s not the reason why this is under his name, it’s here because I love his WYLEI characterization so much and if you’ve been reading this series too, you’re probably head over heels in love with the boy too? and immersing in this, feeling all the ways he changed MC’s life and the way he loves her? stop it i’m crying right now. T_T

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook​➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Stalker/BF!Jungkook x Noona/GF!Reader x Ex-Fiance!Namjoon x BFF!Seokjin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.➴ WII: ahhhh to be Jungkook’s Noona, I love immersing in this because there’s so much intense passion here, and if you allow yourself to fall into the role you will understand the statement that Love is Blind that people will overlook anything their lover is involved in because so what if they did this or that? they only have hearts in their eyes, the manipulation here might get to you irl, like wow, seriously this was so brilliantly written, how can you not love Jungkook and give him everything right?  

❥ DNA by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Dystopian/Breeding!AU | Stud!Jungkook x Cow!Reader | Series➴ Jungkook’s career is in jeopardy when he begins falling for a woman he’s supposed to impregnate.➴ WII: the futuristic feels? amazing description and details? unique universe? if you’re up for those things this is one amazing read you should be immersing yourself into, I’m so in love with the way this was written, Bee and her galaxy mind will challenge you into painting all of her words in your head and you’ll have an advanced futuristic universe where babies are manufactured and modified to your liking but if you mix feelings into the process and what do you get? ugh, this is just brilliant!

❥ The Fitting by @noona-la-la-la​➴ Idol!AU | Idol!Jungkook x Stylist/Noona!Reader | Series➴ The younger Jungkook has a workplace crush on you, but you let the flattery get to you and make a proposition you can’t take back.➴ WII: who can ever say no to idol!jungkook? prepare to immerse into this tension-filled romance with Jungkook, laced with complications of keeping a secret “relationship“, so this is what happens when fire meets ice at work, and this being an idol!au will give you a glimpse of how they probably keep their affairs hidden from everyone and it can be stressful, full of jealousy, and fights.

➴ OT7 ❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr​➴ Space!AU | Space Crew!OT7 x Space Crew!Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.➴ WII: BEST.OT7.FIC.EVER. so why not immerse yourself and be the only girl in their universe right? this has so much sexual tension since they only have you sis, but it’s fun to get all the attention tho there will be stressful and trying times, the boys will compensate *wink*wink* 

❥ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne➴ Hybrid/Host-Club!AU | Hybrid!OT7 x Human/Owner!Reader | Series➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.After your estranged mother passes away, you’re left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you’re desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind’s greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.➴ WII: what’s an ot7 fic without tension? majority of the boys are dog hybrids with certain classes and MC has no fucking clue how to deal with hybrids let alone seven of them with two of them being special classes/cases, this will be a little slow-paced as the story starts more on their background/history as hybrids and they’re still getting comfy with one another, which I think is a great way to pull readers in and grow attached to the hybrids.

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | Vampire!OT7 x Human!Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.➴ WII: how can we pass up on vampire!ot7? this is a brilliant story that will have the same haze effect on you as the reader, I immersed hardcore on this one and I’m like who am I? it’s weird when you get affected and get all the phantom feels from reading alone you know? and this will affect you so much I swear to god it’s you literally transported and astral projected into this universe and it’s so pleasing but also frightening to be in the middle of two covens.

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Dystopian/Sex Worker!AU | Idol!OT7 x Physical Companion!Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.➴ WII: this has an interesting take on being Bangtan’s “companion” and to immerse into this one and watching everyone catch feelings and defy the rules for a chance at romance will overwhelm you, you a mere “companion” now the object of their affection and they’re willing to do anything and everything for you even if it means risking it all. 

p.s. I suggest you go through my FICSHELF to view all of the stories I ever read so you get to choose the exact story you want to read, the shelf contains story links (Tumblr and ao3 if any) with summary, warnings, and more info about the fic (character role, genre, au, word count). 

[sadbi-hours]

Here it is! Finally! My Stranger things’ Fanfic Rec list I’ve put off for months yooo! Anyway, I hope you find something to read and enjoy y’all :)

(Oh, the * at the front of the fic title means they are my favorites!)

* objects in the mirror by Snickfic  (Complete)

Jonathan has no f**king idea why Nancy and Steve gave him the Nikon. He doesn't know why they're so insistent on seeing the pictures he takes, either. 

why you should read it?:one reason: you can’t tell me that Jonathan doesn’t have a thing for taking pics during sexy times! you just can’t...and this fanfic is the reason why!

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars Series by  Drhair76 (WIP)

The many adventures of Steve, Jonathan and Nancy as they figure out their relationship. (feat. Robin, the kiddos and a heck ton of parental figures.)

why you should read it?: Because Steve/Nancy/Jonathan’s relationship is the cutest thing in this little series...but it’s also very real in a way that’s not supernatural. Just go read the series! Warning: It does get a little angsty in later parts!

Emotion Sickness by  Shypt  (WIP)

After the Battle of Starcourt, Steve struggles with the damages that the Russians left behind. In dealing with the aftermath, with the help of Robin and the Party, he uncovers a larger conspiracy at hand than just re-opening the Gate.

why you should read it?: Post s3 fic, where Robin and Steve are left with powers after the Russian’s experiments...and how they deal with that and the large conspiracy at behind why. 

* it's a risk, it's a gamble by  nondz (pinkjook) (Complete)

“I think we should pretend to date,” Robin says.

"What?" Steve answers.

why you should read it?: read this post and all my feelings will be revealed...or aka the emotionally sweet stoncy fic where Robin and Steve pretend to be each others beards... that might have made me weep silently a few times haha!

* Strike from the Records (it's not over 'till we're done) by SylphofScript (Complete)

If there’s one more thing Steve should have walked away with after so many incidents with the otherworldly, it’s to never trust the slow points.

They were only ever a blanket of lies, covering up a brewing storm.

Too bad Steve never learns.

why you should read it?: A long connective fic, where each character is common or not so common whamp trope! So beware, it gets super angsty in parts!

Have Happened by cortexikid (Complete)

"I overheard you. You were talking in your sleep.”

Steve's heart fluttered nervously.

“It was a little funny at first,” Nancy admitted, her tone a mix of teasing and apologetic, “you were moaning my name and I thought it’d be kinda funny if Mike accidentally overheard you having a sex dream about his sister—”

Steve couldn’t control the guffaw that escaped him.

“But then you said Jonathan’s name. Right after mine. All in the same breath.”

why you should read it?: You know, why not! I’ll admit, this story doesn’t entirely work for me anymore since the monster hunting trio had grown so far from their s1 characterizations, but it’s still a fic worth reading! So i am rec-ing it!

Slide Over Here by empathieves (Complete)

Nancy says Jonathan's name instead of Steve's two weeks after the Monster Hunting Incident. Steve says it instead of Nancy's name a month after. They don't talk about it until two months after, when it's become increasingly hard to ignore that Jonathan Byers has become a part of their sex life without even being in the room.

why you should read it?: Another post s1 fic, where Nancy and Steve slowly start bringing Jonathan’s name into their sex life...and how they eventually act on their desires! 

Searching For Your Heart by cali-chan (girls_are_weird) (Complete)

One of the world's biggest action movie superstars is coming to town, and every kid in Hawkins High is determined to win MTV's back-to-school scavenger hunt and get a face-to-face meeting with their idol. Mike and his friends are sure they've got this in the bag— until the contest throws a wrench in their plans and their only shot at winning is partnering up with Mike's longtime crush, El Hopper.

why you should read it?: I’ll admit I didn’t finish this story...I was a little too fluffy for my tastes, but It’s still a cute story worth reading!

Bad at Love (Can You Blame Me for Trying) by GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes (Complete)

He liked to think the world was done throwing him curveballs. He’s had to kill the Demogorgon, get his face punched in by a crazed stepbrother, listen to his drunk girlfriend tell him she doesn’t love him, and tell his best friend that he’s a piece of shit. He thought he had somehow managed to catch enough curveballs for a lifetime. He was wrong. The newest curveball may be the hardest one yet.

why you should read it?: It’s Stoncy and my fav romantic angst trope: (not so) unrequited love/Pining! 

* every night my mind is running around her by magneticwave (Complete)

In which Nancy gets married, Lucas gets hot, and Dustin gets to give lots of people advice that he’s only moderately qualified to dispense. 

why you should read it?: This was my first ever ST fanfic! I had to add it on principal...of it being absolutely amazing lol! 

* Ducks on the Pond by The Stephanois (ballantine) (Complete)

Steve Harrington knows two things to be true: the St. Louis Cardinals are the best baseball team in the world, and Nancy Wheeler is far too amazing for him to hog all to himself.

why you should read it?:  It’s one of my all time favorite stoncy fics, it combines two things I absolutely love into one story: Poly relationships and Baseball (I won a MVP trophy in HS for Pitching) ...and also uses the age old euphemism of bases for sex;) 

Across the Many Miles by FeoplePeel (Complete)

Nancy packed her bags and moved out West for Caltech. Jonathan’s East at NYU. Steve’s in the middle, Hawkins, Indiana and separated from the only people who understand by a seemingly endless stretch of land on each side. The story doesn't start there, but it doesn't end there, either.

why you should read it?: It’s actually been so long since I’ve read this one...and bruh is it long...so it’s definitely not a causal read, but it’s very very good read if you have the time for a long, long story. 

* let this pass you by CallicoKitten (Complete)

Steve’s not entirely sure at which point in his life he became Dustin Henderson’s personal chauffeur. Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. Maybe he can pinpoint the exact moment it happened and it honestly keeps him awake at night more than the demo-dogs or the Demogorgon or any of the insane shit that’s happened in Hawkins recently.

---

the kids drag steve on a trip to chicago to find El's sister, steve figures some shit out in the process

why you should read it?: It’s stoncy, the party, and a road trip all rolled into one...what more can you ask for haha?!

Talk Me Down by anomalation (Complete)

Nancy knows what she wants: Steve and Jonathan both, and maybe a fight. Steve knows he'd do anything for these dorky kids. Jonathan doesn't seem to want anything, but he'd also never ask them. And none of them are interested in forgiving Billy.

Featuring: some D&D, a Christmas party, a lot of relationship negotiating, no excuses for shitty behavior, and yet also the firm belief that nobody deserves abusive parents.

why you should read it?: Another really long, long fic that I completely enjoyed the one time I read it...and It had a nice and real redemption arc for Billy that I liked. 

* For the Three of Us by brokenpromisesandhope

5 times Jonathan loved Steve and Nancy and one time they loved him back.

why you should read it?: The summary pretty much says it all...

* decide on me (decide on us) by mjolnirbreaker (Complete)

Robin could very well die tonight in her stupid work uniform, and honestly she doesn’t want to dwell on it. So she’s going to make it her personal mission to figure out what’s up with Steve’s romantic life, and hopefully they don’t die before she solves the puzzle.

why you should read it?: It amazes me to this day...just how close to canon this author had gotten for Robin’s characterization and her relationship with Steve! 

* fly me to the moon by bleuboxes (Complete)

It's a Saturday night; he's watching one of those Star Wars movies with Robin - who won't shut up about how hot Leia looks.

Steve mentions something briefly about how he likes Han’s hair, rugged tough guy appearance, and general aloofness. Robin rolls her eyes, mutters an 'of course you do', then throws popcorn at his face.

why you should read it?:  Okay, I related way too well to this story! Han Solo was one of my bisexual awakens too...and I didn’t realize until years later lol! It’s also a sweet story about how Robin slowly helps Steve through his awakening like a real BFF should. 

God Help the Outcasts by willwrite4coffee (Complete)

Robin Buckley's always been a little different, but to her, that's never been a bad thing.

She's been on the outside looking in, an outcast, but she'd rather spend her evening with Sousa than at a kegger.

Being an outsider has never been a bad thing.

(also known as, why does no one know Robin in such a small town like Hawkins?)

why you should read it?: A cute little story about Robin and Steve’s friendship directly after the events of s3...and how the party and Nancy and Jonathan slowly begin to accept Robin into the fold. 

Oh, and anything by @trulyalpha! Here’s the Ao3 link!

[icypantherwrites]

Just a quick request for some advice, I've noticed you seem to be very good at promoting your works, requesting feedback and actually getting some, and reposting on Tumblr and such. Now admittedly, you are an awesome author and I pretty much love everything you write, but I have to think your promotion abilities are part of what brings you hits, kudos, likes, and feedback. Do you have any advice on the best ways to promote my fanfiction, build a fanbase and short of begging, get more comments?

Self-promotion and marketing definitely are a large part of my fanbase. I’ve seen it go both ways; amazing writers and fics that don’t have much attention and not-so-great ones that have huge followings because of social media presence of the author. So while having quality stories is still a large part of it, so too is marketing.

My background is not actually in marketing but journalism, but I did run a number of social media pages and have always been a very big people-person and engager, which I’ve applied to pretty much all aspects of my life. One of my favorite slogans I’ve learned from retail (and marketing) is you can’t sell what’s not out. i.e., if you don’t present your product you can’t expect to have any customers (or in this case readers).

In my case, I’m a very prolific author, meaning I have a lot of stories under my name and I’ve been fortunate that a couple of those have become bigger name ones in this fandom for extra exposure. The more you have, obviously the more you will “sell” and therefore, generally, the more exposure you’ll get and then comments (comments though are a fickle beast and it really really varies). 

I’m borrowing some of the advice from a previous post (you can always search my blog with “#writing advice” for more things) but these would be a couple of strategies I would recommend you try out :) Not all of them may be applicable to you either, as all authors write at different paces and volumes and have different time constraints, but maybe something in here will help ;) 

1. Have an update schedule! This one is really important. Whether that means you pre-write the entire fic or you buckle down and commit to a regular posting (which is how Color was for me for the first couple months until I pre-wrote enough to kick back and relax a bit xD) be it weekly or bi weekly or every two weeks (the other bi weekly? Such a weird word) you do that.

When you get people on a schedule and they are more likely to come back and comment with something other than the dreaded “update soon!” because they know you are going to update soon and when exactly that is. Give readers something to plan and look forward to, just like a favorite TV show that airs weekly.

2. Respond to comments. Whether you write giant-ass paragraph responses or even a simple “thank you ♥” it goes a long way. I know I always am more inclined to really keep up on a fic where the author has shown to appreciate their readers (although if I read your fic and like it I will comment regardless ♥). I know for me right now I have stopped doing this as it just got... draining for me, to respond in detail and never see those readers again and it felt hurtful to me. But I still make a point to say thank you in the author’s notes and if anyone has a question I do try to answer that too.

3. Read other authors’ works you enjoy but do not self-promote. Please don’t do that. I hate it when I see that and it makes me even less inclined to check out a fic (I’m already very picky with what I read and don’t read much at all). By all means comment on the fic and be like “I headcanon Keith is a good cook too!” because those personal details are lovely and maybe that’ll inspire that other author to click on your profile to see if you’ve got a fic with such a theme to go read.

But otherwise, keep your comments about their fic (or your reaction to it) and show your excitement and passion for that fic. Bookmark too (and Ao3 lets you add comments; you can bet if I see a nice comment on a bookmark tag I’m clicking on that author to see a; what else they’ve bookmarked and b; if they’ve written anything). Well written and passionate comments tell a lot about a person and if they can write a nice review they likely can write a nice fic and could be worth an extra click to see their profile. That is indeed how I’ve found several authors and fics I now read :)

4. Chapter length. This I have noticed over time but shorter chapters (for me around 3k-4k) tend to get more comments than longer ones because people have “more time” upon finishing to leave a comment. It doesn’t always work but it is something I’ve witnessed on more than one occasion. That said, don’t write a chapter of only 1k words and think they’ll pour in because it’s short. Leading on to…

5. Whatever your chapter is, make sure it has content that people will want to respond to. Not every chapter has to have explosions and action and intense heart-to-hearts, but every chapter should have something memorable. Filler chapters are unavoidable, especially in longer fics, but do what you can to make them not quite so “blah” and give them some heart.

6. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, meaning write multiple things (although perhaps not as much as me ^^;). Having a mix of a longer running chapter fic (for those “episodes” back in bullet point one) to keep people coming back and having a few shorter fics (be one-shots, two-shots, or shorter chaptered fics) to draw in new people and help you out when you get stuck on your other fic is invaluable. I definitely expanded my audience and brought in new readers that gave me little boosts of support when I started publishing one-shots semi-regularly. 

7. Don’t be afraid to self-promote on your blog. Reblog your works, pull out snippets to share, reblog those too if you don’t get many notes. I don’t really get how Tumblr’s tag system works, but tag your first few tags with the biggest ones that those browsing might stumble across. Ao3 does let you link to your Tumblr so long as you aren’t advertising commissions or patreon or the like in said blurb so make sure you link to your tumblr too to get cross-traffic.

8. Post sneak content on your blog; previews and snippets. Get people excited about the work before you post it. 

9. I don’t know how reasonable this is for most, but holding little games or contests can really up the engagement. Starting out, doing something like a bingo card prompt event could be one to consider; the “prize” is writing the prompt which gets you both more content, therefore more eyeballs on said content, and hopefully a very grateful fan who will leave you a nice comment and reblog it for their page. 

10. I like ending on this number. Um, oh, okay! This is both great for writing experience, content and engagement! If you see a piece of fanart you like that you feel compelled to write a bit for, do so and reblog it! Anyone who clicks on that art will see your reblog of it and maybe, maybe, the original artist will reblog your selection too! Not just artists either, but there are lots of “prompt” type posts I see that you could do that for as well. 

AO3 | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Discord

[lesbianoctoling]

Agent 8 is crushing on Agent 3 hard and doesn't know how to confess to her. She then comes up with an idea to make use her poetry skills. But she might need some help??

A/N: I got...Really, really into this. I want to thank my lovely datefriend for helping me tho! They even wrote the poem and rewrote a few parts for me!! They have a fic on AO3 that you should totally read if you like my stuff, I’m just sayin...

Anyways, if you enjoyed this please reblog it and give it a kudos on AO3! And feedback is always appreciated! ♥ 

“Aww, Eight, that’s called a crush! You have a crush on Agent Three!”

“A… Crush? But I don’t want to crush her!” Agent Eight squeaked.

Pearl peaked her head into the living room where Eight was having a conversation with Marina.

“Not literally, Eight,” The inkling put a tray of drinks on the coffee table, “It means you’re in looooveee~”

Pearl’s teasing made Eight blush and turn away, despite not really knowing what she meant.

“Pearlie! Don’t tease her, she’s having a hard time…”

“W-what does crushing someone have to do with love? O-of course I love Agent Three, but I don’t…”

Marina cracked a smile and Pearl snorted.

“Oh, Eight, sweetie,” Marina put a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder, who lifted her head. “A different kind of love. You know how Pearl and I are?”

“Well uh, yeah…But ‘Ree and I are already kinda like that, so-”

Pearl took a seat next to her girlfriend, grinning wide. “Nah nah, you two are nothin’ compared to us—“ Marina elbowed Pearl’s side, “Er, I mean. Think of those cheesy movies you watch all the time. The ones with the kissing.”

Eight’s eyes widened and her face turned a bright shade of red, making Pearl break into a fit of laughter.

“I- Well I wouldn’t, I mean, I kinda want to, but I don’t…” Eight sputtered.

Marina giggled. “You should tell her. Sounds like you’ve felt like this for a long time.”

Eight buried her face in her hands. “B-But…”

Pearl’s laughter stopped abruptly, and she cleared her throat. “I’m pretty sure she feels the same way, kid.”

Eight peaked through her fingers. “Really? You think she would?”

“Oh, Eight, you have no idea. She looks at you like you’re the most beautiful cephalopod in the universe!” Marina said, clasping her hands together dramatically. “But we won’t force you to do something if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“But,” Pearl interjected, “Ya never know if another girl might just… Swoop right in, and take her.”

Eight lowered her hands and avoided eye contact with both of them, attempting to register what she was feeling and what she should do.

“Well uhm… What should I try to do then?”

Eight stayed up all night, brainstorming and writing all her feelings down. She woke up in an uncomfortable position on her desk, drooling on a notebook and paper.

She paused for a moment, looking out the window beside her. The sun was just rising and the sky was an orange-pink colour. When she realized what she was doing, she leaned back and stretched with a loud yawn. She then collected her scattered belongings on her desk.

In front of her was a piece of pink, cutesy expensive looking stock paper.

Scribbled on it was cursive inklish, accompanied by small doodles of an octopus and a squid surrounded by hearts and stars.

The octoling smiled to herself as she read it:

Yellow is what I saw when I came here,

It was the welcoming sun when I found my freedom

Yellow is in your eyes when you’re near

You make my heart beat quite like a drum

My heart unsteady, will I be ready?

To be in your arms, when the time comes

When I’m with you, I always feel steady

There’s a pull on my heartstrings, a melody strums

Normally, the girl had a talent for conjuring poems on a whim. She would take her journal almost everywhere she went, and wrote short poems about things she saw in Inkopolis or whatever was on her mind. But this poem wasn’t exactly like the others - it had to be perfect; she had to put her hearts into it and everything. Eight found herself staying up until 4 am in order to achieve this.

Agent Eight read it over and over in her head, rewriting it countless times in order for it to meet her standards. She read it out loud, adding in extra words or taking a few out. She tried to incorporate more rhymes but a few of them fell flat. Finally, she wrote one that she loved best.

Despite that, she felt a lump in her throat and her stomach twist in knots.

What would Agent Three think of it?

Would she even like it? Would she understand it? Is it not straightforward enough? Maybe she should add more hearts — or perhaps a flower or two. But what if Agent Three understood it and didn’t like it?

What if she ended up hating her or thinks she’s disgusting?

The octoling shook her head and pushed the negative thoughts away. She had to try at the very least. She was terrified, but she still had a chance according to Pearl — and Pearl always gave her good advice.

Pushing herself away from the desk, she set off to do her morning routine and text Agent Three (even if it did take her almost half an hour to press the send button), asking her if she would like to practice aiming in a private battle today.

She received a reply rather quickly, something she didn’t expect as Agent Three isn’t normally awake for another few hours. Eight wondered if this meant she pulled an all nighter again. She made a mental note to pester Three about this later.

She opened her messenger to reply to her friend.

E 7:23AM: Good morning! If you are not busy, do you want to play target practice in a private battle this afternoon? 🐙🔫

T 7:56AM: why is the octopus pointing the gun at herself

T 7:56AM: who gave her that anyways

T 7:57AM: thats dangerous

E 7:59AM: She’s holding it, silly. She wants to practice, too! 💪🏻🐙

T 8:01AM: o ok

T 8:01AM: what a determined octopus

T 8:01AM: determinpus

E 8:02AM: ? I don’t get it.

T 8:05AM: …

E 8:06AM: Oh! I get it now! lol!!!!

E 8:06AM: She is a determined octopus! You mixed the words together. You’re so clever. 😙

T 8:06AM: aaa

T 8:07AM: yes

T 8:07AM: anyways sure we can pb

E 8:10AM: Yay! What time? 🐙⏱

T 8:13AM: is an hour from now ok

T 8:13AM: i might turf after so

E 8:15AM: Yes, yess ! See you there! 🐙♥️

When Agent Eight closed her phone’s messenger app, she lifted a hand to find her cheeks burning and sore from blushing. Agent Three is just too cute and she felt so lucky. Everyone else found the inkling to be silent and intimidating, but in reality she was a huge softie that only a select few people got to see.

And she happened to be one of those select few.

Agent Three impatiently checked her watch as she waited outside the private battle lobby she reserved almost 10 minutes ago. In one hand was a suitcase containing her charger gear, and next to her feet was a duffel bag full of different outfits she thought would be useful.

It had been over an hour since her octoling friend asked to meet her there. She checked her messages and the time again. No, Three was on time. Why was Eight so late?

A bead of sweat dripped down the inkling’s cheek. The octoling was never late, and she was sure there was a logical reason for her to be this time, but what if —

“‘Ree!” Three heard from behind her, making her ears perk. Just before she could turn around, she felt warm arms wrap around her torso from behind. For a moment she stiffened, but as soon as she registered who was behind her her body relaxed.

“Ree, goodness, I’m so sorry I’m late!” Eight said, leaning back to look at Three – who had now turned her head to face Eight – but still holding onto her. She really had no sense of personal space.

“It… It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” With gentle hands, she grasped the octoling’s arms and free’d herself from the other’s grip easily. She swore she heard the other whine, though. “What happened? You’re usually early.”

“Oh, well I, ah,” Eight’s tentacles moved inwards and outwards, like they were trying to grab onto something as she spoke. “I got a little sidetracked after strolling past the new stores downtown! There was a comely little antique shop next to the new confectionery and —“ Realizing she was beginning to ramble and use words the inkling doesn’t seem to know, she slowed down. “I just got a little distracted is all, haha.”

“I see,” was all Three managed to comment. Eight’s rambling was absolutely adorable to her, especially when she got excited, so she really didn’t mind. “Do you want me to set it up?”

“Oh, right, yes, of course!”

The two stepped forward to the lobby’s station, with Three setting the battle up using a tablet beside the door.

“Do you want to play target first?” Three asked as she looked for a decent map, eventually settling for Sturgeon Shipyard. Their target practices considered of one person playing “target” on the alpha team, using a brush to zip around the map while the player on bravo tried to splat them with a charger.

“I always play target first,” Eight replied, followed by a giggle, “I want to snipe first this time.”

“Alright, then. Let’s get started.”

The two of them played for over an hour and it was clear they were both getting rather tired.

Eight was winning the nonexistent competition so far, getting almost 20 splats on Three every time it was her turn. It was a bit unfair, really — she had always been good with a charger, and she certainly knew how to use an e-litre.

Three, on the other hand, was clearly struggling and needed this practice far more than the octoling did. She was used to only really using one type of weapon: a standard splattershot, or maybe her heroshot. While she was talented with those weapons, she found herself fumbling with the charger and having difficulties holding it correctly.

The inkling was getting frustrated, and Eight had to make a move soon before the other called it a day.

But she had an idea. It was a mischievous one, sure, but she knew she could get a few giggles out of Three if she did it and initiated her plan at the same time.

Eight smirked to herself, slamming her inkbrush down in front of her and running just outside of the charger’s range. She stifled a giggle when she heard the inkling jump down from her perch to pursue her, not actually expecting Three to take the bait.

She ducked behind a wall on her side of the map, not bothering to hide in her ink. She had a death grip on her inkbrush, her hands sweating and shaking. Her plan was starting to seem like less of a good idea now, and all the potential negative outcomes flowed through her mind. She was so confident a moment ago, why was she now so afraid? She couldn’t wrap her head around her own emotions, but she knew she was starting to doubt herself. Despite this, she decided to ignore the rampant thoughts.

Eight took a deep breath and peeked over the wall. Three was in the middle of the map, aiming opposite of Eight’s position. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, Three looked so silly — she was supposed to be one of the strongest inklings in existence, yet she was completely unaware of her surroundings despite her serious, concentrated demeanour.

Of course, she still heard the octoling and spun around to shoot. Fortunately, she missed. Eight used this as a time to strike and ran zipped towards the inkling, zig-zagging away from her attempted shots.

She turned quickly and circled the other agent, once, twice, three times before slipping something in her pocket and darting away. She didn’t get very far before she felt a concentrated shot on her back and the world going black — and when she opened her eyes, she had respawned on the other side of the map.

Shaking off excess ink, Eight laughed nervously and ran back towards the middle.

“‘Ree, good job! You finally got me!” Eight giggled.

Eight’s heart stopped when she saw Agent Three standing still. Upon looking closer, she realized Three was already reading her note. She dropped her inkbrush and slowly approached the inkling, her feet like concrete and her heart beating in her ears. She could feel her arms shaking rapidly as butterflies formed in her stomach and flew all the way into her chest.

“Um… Three?” She squeaked as she finally stood close enough to her.

“Eight, what is this?” Three asked. The inkling seemed mildly confused as she gazed at the note, straightening it with her hands.

“Oh, ah, well, you see…” Eight stammered. Her tentacles began to contract rapidly as she searched for words to say, struggling as she did so. “You’re really important to me so, I thought maybe, I could—“

“It’s really nice.”

“—I could make something for you and — oh! It… It is?” Eight felt a wave of multiple emotions flow course through her body. She was relieved that the inkling didn’t seem upset, but she also had trouble figuring out just how the other may feel as well, bringing her a sense of excitement and fear to what Agent Three might say.

“Does this mean that you, uh…” Eight mumbled, trying to figure out Three’s thoughts.

“Well, it’s a pretty poem,” Three nodded. “You’re always so good with these. I don’t know if I really get it, but the little drawings are really cute.“

Eight’s hearts sank again.

She didn’t… understand it? Even with the pink cardstock, stickers, and little doodles she drew on it?

Eight felt like she was going to cry, but instead she took a deep breath.

“I uhm, Three…” She began, gently pushing the card out of Three’s focus. She made direct eye contact and felt her face heat up. If she wanted to get the message through, then perhaps she’d have to be straightforward. “I wrote it because I-I…”

She looked away and fumbled with the hem of her shirt. This was harder than she expected. Eight felt like there was something caught in her throat, unable to escape.

Suddenly she felt something warm touch her hands. When she looked down, Three had put her hands in hers. “Eight, are you okay?”

The octoling bit her bottom lip and looked back up, not exactly making eye contact this time but still keeping her attention focused on the agent.

“I have a crush on you, Agent Three. I really, really like you.”

Three’s eyes widened and Eight noticed her cheeks begin to flush red. She saw surprise, fear, and excitement shine through the other all at once. She wanted to back away and hide, and she attempted to do so, but Three gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

Seconds passed, but they felt like years. Neither knew what to say or how to react, all they knew was that the air around them felt different, and now things were different.

Three was the first to break the silence, mumbling something Eight couldn’t hear.

“What was that?” She said, just above a whisper.

“I have…a crush on you, too.” Three repeated, looking away as her face turned a bright red.

Eight smiled. She smiled almost as big as she did when she first reached the surface. The inkling felt the same way, she didn’t think she was weird, she liked her too and now…

“That makes me so happy,” the octoling whispered, leaning her head onto the other’s. Three didn’t flinch or lean back, welcoming the act. She could feel the inkling’s nervous breath on her face. “You make me so happy.”

Three was overwhelmed with emotions. She wanted to play it cool, to act tough and not embarrass herself. But in reality, she wanted to skip and jump for joy.

“Wh-What now?” Three said.

“Well, uhm,” Eight’s eyes fell onto Three’s lips. “Can I… Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t need to ask,” Three smiled.

Eight found herself giggling, heat rising to her chest. She pulled Agent Three closer to her, closing the gap between both of them as they stared into each others eyes. Agent Three’s yellow reminded Eight of the sunset, warm and welcoming like when she first set foot in Inkopolis. And through Three’s eyes, Eight could tell she was trying to mask her shyness to no avail, making her heart swell with how cute the inkling was. It was just a few moments that they stared into each others eyes with hesitation, until Eight leaned in closer and finally pressed her lips against Three’s.

The kiss was a little awkward, but Eight could feel her heart bursting like a blaster shot. Even though their teeth clashed together and the kiss was overall messy (causing both of them to giggle), it was unlike anything the cephalopods have ever experienced before in their lives.

[lewispandawrites]

Something unexpected, Malec, 3153 words, T rated.

A birthday gift to a wonderful @enkelimagnus - inspired by her fic, Six of Swords

The bookstore was usually quiet and calm - it was one of those ‘hole in the world’ type of places - but people who would come there, came with purpose. Teenagers who only looked for school novels rarely visited the Reading Nook, but it still was a favourite place of many book lovers. They had many different sections, that were organised in an unusual way. Categories, such as ‘dragons’, ‘not-so-happy endings’, ‘lgbt history’, ‘animal characters’, ‘second life of a good book’ and ‘readers’ choice’ provided a different approach to finding a suitable book, and many people found it helpful. If anyone was lost, as to where look for a book they might enjoy, they could always ask a person sitting behind the counter.

Magnus loved working there. The smells of old and new books, mixed with a pot of coffee or tea always brewing in the back room, had become familiar and brought him comfort. During slower days, he could take out his painting supplies, and work on yet another deck of tarot cards to sell. Once in a while, when he wasn’t particularly inspired to paint, and no customer needed his attention, he would choose a book that had the most interesting description, and read - sometimes for hours to end. He also had a green light from the owner - who had rarely visited the place, due to his old age - to re-organise book categories, and the front display as he pleased. Magnus always made sure that something interesting and colorful was visible from the street, so more curious customers would come in. Just last week, he had finished yet another display on Harry Potter, as was his tradition for September.

The place was too small to host any meetings or book clubs, but it had a loveseat squeezed in between the window and an old, wooden bookcase. From time to time, a person or a couple would occupy it, reading or chatting quietly. Magnus had been a witness to people smiling like idiots, or shedding a few tears over a particularly good book. Sometimes, a customer might strike up a conversation with him - it usually happened when a person was looking for a book on a specific topic, but had no idea what to choose. Just last week, a teenager had come in, looking for a book on queer figures throughout history. Although, they had a section for that, they had had hard time finding a book that would be the best, and not cost crazy amount of money. Shyly, they had asked Magnus for advice, and the two had talked for over an hour - Magnus had shared his experience, as a bi man of color, and Remi had taught him about the local trans community in return. Magnus had pointed out a few books that might be helpful for Remi’s school paper, and suggested they would come and read them here, for free. He had brought in a chair from the back room, placed it next to the counter, and offered to share the space, so Remi could take notes on their laptop. After finishing their essay, Remi had sent it to Magnus, and had promised to share what grade they got on it. The encounter still warmed Magnus’ heart, every time he thought about it.

A man had entered the bookstore an hour ago. Magnus had greeted him but had kept to himself, seeing the determined look on his face. He had clearly known why he had come here. But, as the minutes had passed, and the man had kept browsing, he had started to look more and more lost.

Carefully, Magnus had placed his brush in the cup, then approached the man.

“Can I help you with anything?” Magnus asked.

“No, I’m afraid you can’t.” The stranger looked sad. Maybe he had been looking for a specific book, but it hadn’t been there? It had happened before.

“If you are after a specific title, I can see if I could order it for you?” Magnus suggested. It might take a few days, for the book to arrive, but at least the man would get it. The warehouse they got all their titles from was very well-stocked, and Magnus knew an additional bookstore owner or two, in case the book would turn out to be exceptionally rare.

Magnus got a smile in return, but one that didn’t reach stranger’s eyes. “Thank you, but I’m not looking for a specific book. I’m no longer sure, if I’m looking for a book at all.” There was a deep frown on man’s face, and he was hunched forward, looking tired. From up close, Magnus could see the dark circles under his eyes. For some reason, he didn’t want to let the man walk out right away.

“How about I make you something warm to drink, and you tell me more about what brought you here? I’m sure we can figure something out.” Magnus suggested. The other man hesitated, but eventually nodded, and took the chair that had been occupied by Remi last week. “Tea or coffee?” Magnus asked.

“Tea, please.” The man replied. Magnus had left him by the counter, and went to the back room, to boil some water. He took two mismatched mugs, and added a spoonful of his favourite green tea to each, then waiter for the water to be ready.

Not long after, he had emerged with two steaming mugs. “Be careful!” He warned his companion, as he placed a mug in front of him.”It’s still too hot to drink. And you may want to wait until the leaves will sink to the bottom.” The man nodded again, thanking him silently for the beverage.

“Magnus.” Magnus offered his name, as he sat down. He thought it was a polite thing to do, and a good conversation starter.

“Alec. Alexander.” his companion replied, watching the steam curl over the rim of his mug.

“Alexander. What brought you here?” Magnus asked, and leaned back in his chair. He wanted to give the other more space to breath and think, since he looked to be troubled by his thoughts. Something important must have had convinced him to come.

“I’m an art student.” Alec said after a moment. The frown was still on his face, as if it was a permanent fixture to his features. “We have an assignment. To create something using materials, that had already been used. Many people go for plastic bottles, or wine corks. T-shirts, pants... My friend is actually using her old pencils and crayons.” His sister, Clary, had suggested to break a few ceramics, but he wasn’t feeling that.

He called Clary his younger sister, but, in reality, they weren’t blood related. They had become inseparable, though, from the moment Luke and Maryse had first introduced them to one another, and grew up together under one roof, sharing a wall.

She had followed into his footsteps, claiming it had been him and not her biological mother who had inspired her to pursue art, and applied to the same art school one year after him. They both lived separately - Clary had a studio apartment, while Alec lived in a three-bedroom flat, with Clary’s girlfriend. It was the most bizarre combination, but the two had only been together for a few months. Maia spent most of her time at Clary’s, which gave Alec plenty of alone time, to work on his projects in the spare room. But he had been planning to ask Clary and Maia, whether or not they would want to switch apartments - they had been going pretty steady, even in such short amount of time, and Alec didn’t mind living alone, as long as he would have space to work. And he knew that Clary’s studio apartment was good for that.

It warmed his heart to see his little sister and his roommate so happy and in love, and he would do anything to support their relationship. In his eyes, those two were true relationship goals, alongside mom and his step-dad.

“I thought about using books.” Alec continued. “Wanted to cut out the letters, then layer the pages to show how our words turn into incomprehensible gibberish. How being unable to talk is the disease that kills our relationships with other people slowly, and then kills us from inside, when we are unable to express our needs and wants. We become numb, bland and detached from the world, going for the cheap thrills that promise us to fill the void inside, one we are unable to describe.” During his little speech, Alec had begun to gesture widely, and Magnus had found it adorable. What the other man was saying wasn’t anything new to him - he had understood his thoughts and concerns fully. Many writers had written about similar things. Yet, Magnus liked the idea to use this as a message behind a new piece of art - it was an old lesson, but one worth teaching again. “Or just stick to the first part, I guess. Just the gibberish.”

“And you didn’t find any of the books suitable?” Magnus asked, after carefully taking a sip of his tea. It could use a moment of two longer to brew, so he put the mug down.

“I guess I wasn’t going for any specific book. Just books in general.” Alec shrugged. “But…” he started, then grew quiet. They both just sat there, in silence that wasn’t uncomfortable, drinking the tea slowly.

Magnus was about to ask whether Alec would enjoy a homemade cookie, when the other spoke again. “I just can’t bring myself to destroy any of those books. Neither new, nor old. There’s just...so much love. It’s clear someone is taking care of them.” Their eyes finally met over the counter, and Magnus was struck by the sincerity and rawness in Alec’s eyes. Here sat a man, who was unable to destroy a thing, that had been an object of someone’s love. It was so pure and honest, that Magnus didn’t know what to say.

“I know it sounds stupid.” Alec said, and broke the eye contact. “But I just...can’t. Maybe if I psych myself up. But not today.”

Magnus reached over the counter, and placed his hand on Alec’s forearm in - what he hoped was - a comforting gesture.

“There is nothing bad about it. You shouldn’t be ashamed of not wanting to destroy something.” Magnus told Alec, and the other man met his gaze again. “Some of those books had lived wonderful lives, and have an additional story to tell. And some had been printed less than 6 months ago. But, they have all been carefully selected, so they would have something to offer to their future reader. I actually think it’s beautiful that you can see that.”

“It’s not only that. It is clear to me how someone had been taking care of them. How much love has been put into keeping them in a good shape, so they can be read by someone one day. I assume you were one of those people.” Alec added. The frown he had been sporting, had somehow smoothed during their conversation. “They are all carefully arranged, and there is no speck of dust on them.”

Magnus could feel himself smile widely, at the praise. No one had ever given him a similar compliment, but it had touched him deeply. “Thank you. I do love to work here.”

Alec’s eyes traveled from Magnus’ face, to the surface of the counter, and his eyes had finally fallen upon the art supplies. “Are you an artist as well? May I see it?” He pointed towards the tarot card. Alec understood that the projects, and the process of creation, could be very intimate and personal, so he had wanted to ask before looking at Magnus’ art.

“Of course.” They both stood up from their chairs, to walk up to the opposite end of the counter. Alec leaned down, to have a closer look at the detailed painting. “What is it?” The small painting reminded him vaguely of something, but he had no idea what it was. Besides, this was Magnus’ project - he probably knew the best. Probably, since the results could be tricky, and sometimes things created in the process made no sense to the artists themselves.

“It’s a tarot card. The Moon.” The bright gold of the Moon was a stark contrast against the dark hues of blue and purple. Alec could vaguely make out more shapes in the dark background - two high towers, two dogs, and a lobster. “This is my take on it, but I wanted to stay within the original design. Can you see a path in the middle?” Alec’s eyes were drawn to a thin line, and he nodded, hoping that he had found the right element. “This is the path that we walk. The dog and the wolf.” Magnus pointed out to two figures, that Alec had previously mistaken for two dogs. “symbolise our animalistic nature. One is tame and civilised, like a dog, and one is wild and feral, like a wolf. The two towers in the background” They were dark, barely floodlit by the Moon. “represent the forces of good and evil. They look exactly the same, to show how difficult it can be to distinguish between those two, in our everyday life. We walk a difficult path.” Magnus traced the middle line with his finger. “between wild and tame, between good and evil, between conscious and unconscious. The pond represents a subconscious mind, and the crawfish” Magnus pointed out the lobster-like animal. “is the early stages of consciousness. The Moon, on the other hand, is the symbol of unconsciousness. This card is the essence of dual nature, and rules the astrological Pisces. Sorry, I’m probably rambling.” Magnus said, blushing slightly.

“No! No, you’re not.” Alec replied. “This is really interesting. I had never seen a tarot card in my life.” Alec admitted. “I know nothing about them. But it’s beautiful. All the detailed work, and the meaning behind it...it’s beautiful.”

Magnus blinked, surprised. “Most people would find it weird or tacky. Tarot readings, magic things and such.” He rolled his eyes at his own words, but deep down he remembered well how much the reality could hurt. “You are a one big surprise, Alexander.”

“A good one, I hope.” Came a quiet reply.

Magnus just rounded the counter, and reached for Alec’s hand, to pull him somewhere. “I may have a few things that could interest you.” He led them to a narrow hallway, that had bookshelves on both sides. There was barely any space for the two of them to fit, without touching each other. Magnus kept whispering under his nose, quiet enough for Alec to be unable to hear, as he scanned the tall bookshelf.

Eventually, Magnus stood up on his toes to be able to reach a thick volume. “Here.” He dusted off the cover, just in case, then handed the book to Alec. It felt heavy, and the only decoration on the red cover were thick, black letters.

“To my Alice. On how to find yourself.” Alec read the title aloud, then looked up from the book.

“I know, it’s very unusual.” Magnus glanced at the cover again. “It had been brought here, a few years ago, by a person who had found it in their attic. He had no idea who Alice was, and the author isn’t mentioned anywhere, but it looks to be a collection of letters, written on a typewriter. I know the volume isn’t exactly college-student friendly. Especially when you are busy. But I have read a few letters, and I seriously recommend them. Maybe it’s not a conventional way to deal with artist block, but I really hope it can help you.”

Alec just looked at him, silent.

“I could just find some books on sculpture or photography for you? Or about the zero waste movement?” Maybe he had taken it too far. He had called whatever state Alec had been in an ‘artist block’, and suggested he read what looked to be an old coaching book. Great. But he had thought they had something...deeper going between them. Apparently, he had been the only one who had felt it. “Look, I’m sorry if I overstepped some boundaries…”

“No.” Alec cut in, his voice barely above the whisper. “This is a great suggestion. I hope it can truly get me unstuck.”

And they just stood there, for what felt like eternity, eyes locked together. One artist bearing their soul to the other. It was always a magical moment, full of vulnerability and trust, but this time, it felt like something more. A ‘Thank you for understanding.’, on both sides. ‘Thank you for no laughing at me.’

Neither of them had realised, when they had gotten closer, but suddenly their faces were only inches apart.

Alec was the one to break the silence.

“Can I kiss you?”

Magnus searched his face for something, anything - he wanted to say yes, but didn’t know id they wanted the same thing. For him, one kiss wouldn’t be enough. He wanted to get to know Alec better, to go out with him, find out his favorite sitcom, and his stance on dog versus cat. He wanted to learn, and learn, until there will be no new informations.

He wanted more.

“Or I could take you out first? If this is what you want, that is. You may say no to both things. Sorry.” Alec was already backing away from him, and Magnus couldn’t afford to lose that opportunity.

“Yes, kiss me. And I know a perfect place for the first date.”

Alec’s blinding smile was the last thing Magnus had seen before closing his eyes. The other man kissed the same way he had interacted with Magnus - at first, shy. Just a brush of lips. Then another, and another, until their lips stayed pressed together. Neither of them knew who had started moving their lips again, but they kept kissing, not being able to pull apart. Magnus could feel Alec’s teeth grazing his bottom lip, before the man grabbed onto his vest, and made a move to push him back against the bookshelf.

Before Magnus’ back could collide with anything, Alec broke the kiss. Magnus was very aware of the wall of books behind him, and wished Alec could finish what he had started - an image of being pressed against a bookshelf, with Alec pinning his body there while they kissed, wasn’t exactly an unpleasant one. But he understood it was neither time nor place for such things.

Magnus leaned in, to steal one more kiss, before he covered Alec’s hands with his own. “Your tea should still be warm. Want to finish our drinks, before we exchange numbers?”

Magnus didn’t believe Alec’ smile could get any wider, but here he was, proving him wrong. “I’d love to.”

[raendown]

Other Stories

PAIRINGS NOT OTHERWISE MENTIONED

This section organized alphabetically by pairing.

In Keeping With Tradition [Sequel to Love Done Right] - Rated T+ Paring: Hashirama/Izuna Word count: 5801 Summary: After watching his brother’s - unintentional - success, Hashirama sets out to catch an Uchiha of his very own.

As Many As It Takes [Sequel to In Keeping With Tradition] - Rated T+ Pairing: Hashi/Izu, Mada/Tobi, Touka/Hikaku/Uchiha OCs Word count: 2675 Summary: Wedding bells chime in the nearby future but who are they chiming for?

Eye Of The Beholder - Rated G Pairing: Hashirama/Madara Word count: 1754 Summary: In Hashirama’s opinion, Madara is the Cutest Thing Ever™. No one ever believes him when he says so but that just means he gets to keep these moments for himself.

Your Black And White Needs A Little Bit Of Red - Rated G Pairing: Hashirama/Mito Word count: 2133 Summary: Hashirama is the sort of person who believes in love at first sight. Mito isn’t but she can be convinced to take a second look.

Breaking The Fast - Rated T+ Pairing: Itachi/Deidara Word count: 780 Summary: This isn’t at all what Itachi thought working with the Akatsuki would be like. The day’s barely started but he doesn’t think he’s going to have any complaints at the end of it.

First Time For Everything – Rated M Pairing: Kakashi/Hana Word count: 3419 Summary: A continuation of Chapter 12 of the Soulmate Collection.

Try Try Again [Sequel to First Time For Everything – Rated M  Pairing: Kakashi/Hana Word count: 860 Summary: He always said he thought he could improve. Hana was more than happy to let him ‘practice’.

Of Beginnings – Rated G Pairing: Kakashi/Hana  Word count: 501 Summary: Beginnings are always awkward

Sparring Drabble – Rated T+ Pairing: Kakashi/Hidan Word count: 182 Summary: During sparring sessions both of them can get a little distracted.

Rainflowers In Return - Rated T+ Pairing: Kakashi/Naruto Word count: 1681 Summary: Naruto isn’t surprised when he coughs up the first petals.

Interlude – Rated M Pairing: Kakuzu/Hidan Word count: 632 Summary: Kakuzu and Hidan take a moment out of their search for the jinchuuriki to relieve a little tension.

Footprints In Ink - Rated G Pairing: KisameSakura Word count: 1127 Summary: Their first date is an unmitigated disaster - and Sakura could not be happier.

I Brought My Friends Too - Rated T+ Pairing: Madara/Kakashi/Tobirama Word count: 834 Summary: Kakashi goes back in to the past with Obito and Gai and they all make friends with the founders. Kakashi makes...more than friends.

Halves To The Whole - Rated T+ Pairing: Madara/Sakura Word count: 5083 Summary: A cautionary tale on why you shouldn’t play with things that don’t belong to you which doesn’t turn out very cautionary.

Memorias Decem - Rated T+ Pairing: Madara/Sakura Word count: 8323 Summary: She comes in to the world with a birth date already scrawled across the skin of her arm, signifying that her soulmate was born before her. What sets her apart from others is the date which tells her that they have already been dead for decades. At first she wants to know who it is - until she wishes she didn’t. For most of her life she is grateful they will never meet - until she wishes she could have him.

It’s Our Paradise (And It’s Our War Zone) - Rated E Pairing: Madara/Sakura/Tobirama Word count: 2895 Summary: They’d all agreed a long time ago that it was perfectly fine for Sakura to date them both. Now Madara’s taken it in his head to tangle their web even further and it surprised him how easily the other two went along with it.

Sick of This – Rated G Pairing: Minato/Kakashi Word count: 7299 Summary: Kakashi broke things off with the love of his life yesterday. So of course today he gets sick. The universe is obviously out to get him.

A Broken Soul – Rated T+ Pairing: Minato/Kakashi Word count: 10496 Summary: Kakashi was born with a counter just like everyone else. But his was different. His was broken.

The Cutest Tomato In Konoha – Rated G Pairing: Minato/Kushina Word count: 824 Summary: That would be Kushina. 

At My Worst And At My Best – Rated G Pairing: Naruto/Sai Word count: 785 Summary: “At my worst I worry that you’ll realize you deserve better. At my best I worry that you won’t.”

Blueberry Pancakes - Rated G Pairing: Neji/TenTen Word count: 1392 Summary: Just another morning full of softness and surprises.

Thankful Neji Drabble – Rated G Pairing: Neji/TenTen Word count: 544 Summary: Neji is thankful for many things in his life but his is most thankful for his wonderful wife. 

We’ve Already Begun - Rated G Pairing: Neji/TenTen Word count: 1286 Summary: Calm and poise go out the window as Neji grows nervous about their very first date.

Be You, For Me - Rated T+ Pairing: Obito/Kakashi Word count: 845 Summary: A werewolf au in which Obito calls him home.

Remind Me I’m Home - Rated T+ Pairing: Obito/Kakashi Word count: 2511 Summary: All shinobi are a little broken, that’s just a sad fact of life. When Kakashi falls apart he needs someone who is broken just like him to help put the pieces back together again.

Running Through My Head (Running Through My Head) - Rated G Pairing: Obito/Kakashi Word count: 1796 Summary: Listening to sensei is what got them mixed up in this stupid jutsu. He’s never going to listen to sensei again.

Speaking Clearly – Rated G Pairing: Obito/Kakashi Word count: 3048 Summary: Kakashi’s style of communication leaves a lot to be desired. It also leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation. (Read: Kakashi can’t flirt for shit)

Hello Drabble – Rated G Pairing: Obito/Sakura Word count: 321 Summary: Sometimes just a single words keeps you hanging on. 

Assassin Au Drabble – Rated T+ Pairing: Obito/Sakura  Word count: 890 Summary: Obito mastered the art of working and flirting at the same time a long time ago. 

Heart On My Sleeve - Rated M Pairing: Sakura/Ino Word count: 1879 Summary: Sakura wears her love for Ino in more obvious ways than she means to sometimes.

We’ll Build A Flame To Burn The World – Rated T+ Pairing: SakuraIno Word count: 3777 Summary: Empress of her realm, Ino finds her match in the woman she cannot outmaneuver: Haruno Sakura, an Empress in her own right. But a mind like hers can find opportunities everywhere and in offering peace to end the stalemates between them Ino finds so much more than she could have ever hoped.

Easy Beginnings - Rated M Pairing: Shikamaru/Sakura Word count: 1741 Summary: Sakura never truly expected a big romantic production for her first time. Good thing, too, considering who she’s dating.

Hearts Already Beating - Rated T+ Pairing: Shikamaru/Sakura Word count: 15111 Summary: An accidental bonding, a surprise marriage, and two people who refuse to see what’s right there in front of them holding their hand.

Warm Words – Rated G Pairing: Shikamaru/Sakura Word count: 969 Summary: Hot night, cool laughter, and words that mean more for what goes unsaid.

The Best Kind Of Afternoon (Lazy Of Course) – Rated G Pairing: Shikmaru/Sakura Word count: 1295 Summary: If only young Shikamaru had known how sappy and content he would grow up to be.

Leave Me Here To Die Drabble – Rated T+ Pairing: Shisui/Obito Word count: 1327 Summary: “Are you just going to leave me here? To die as if I’m nothing?”

A Polite And Proper Thank You - Rated T+ Pairing: Suigetsu/Karin Word count: 1347 Summary: She just wanted to drink the night away but he had to go and ruin all the fun. 

Parenthood - Rated G Pairing: Suigetsu/Karin Word count: 695 Summary: After the war they have a son name Mangetsu. He is a legacy of them both - and all the frustration that comes with that. 

First Meeting Drabble – Rated T+ Pairing: Tayuya/Itachi Word count: 508 Summary: The first meeting between them sparks some interest.

By Any Other Name – Rated G Pairing: Tobirama/Kagami Word count: 1148 Summary: Tobirama takes exception to being called “Snowflake”.

First Kiss Drabble – Rated G Pairing: Tobirama/Kagami Word count: 755 Summary: Tobirama’s favorite quote gets turned against him - and he doesn’t really mind.

Tattoo Soulmate AU Drabble - Rated G Pairing: Tobirama/Kagami Word count: 641 Summary: Kagami wakes up with new markings on his face on his 18th birthday.

Me, Myself, and Us - Rated E Pairing: Tobirama/Tobirama Word count: 2769 Summary: A sequel to Chapter 70 of my Soulmate Story Collection in which Tobirama learns that his soulmate is, in fact, his own clone.

How To Woo An Uchiha - Rated T+ Pairing: Can be read as Tobirama/Izuna or Madara/Tobirama Word count: 158 Summary: A Step-By-Step Guide From Senju Tobirama

Tsunade and Genma - Rated T+ Pairing: Tsunade/Genma Word count: 242 Summary: An arrangement begins. 

A Window That Won’t Close - Rated T+ Pairing: Yamato/Shisui Word count: 554 Summary: Yamato attempts to use a pickup line his friends gave him. 

READER/OC FICS

This section organized alphabetically by pairing. 

Christmas Drabble [Sequel found here] – Rated G Pairing: Genma/Reader Word count: 924 Summary: ‘Tis the season for Genma to flirt.

Beautiful Face Drabble - Rated G Pairing: Kakashi/Reader Word count: 388 Summary: Kakashi’s blind S/O asks to see his face for the first time.

Kakashi Needs To See His Partner Drabble - Rated T+ Pairing: Kakashi/Reader Word count: 728 Summary: At a boring party, Kakashi just wants to spent a moment alone with his significant other. 

Singing Soulmates Drabble – Rated G Pairing: Kakashi/?  Word count: 789 Summary: Kakashi’s soulmate sings their first notes at an inopportune time.

Flirting With Deaf Reader Scenario - Rated G Pairing: Minato/Reader Word count: 989 Summary: You never thought someone like the fourth Hokage would notice someone like you but when he does it isn’t the only surprise he gives you.

Romantic Date With Obito - Rated T+ Pairing: Obito/Reader Word count: 1216 Summary: Obito takes the reader on a romantic date and then things take a turn for the less innocent. 

Bad Dating Advice Drabble – Rated G Pairing: Tenzou/OC Word count: 1756 Summary: When Tenzou wants to get a special girl’s attention he trusts his friends to help him out with a little advice. He shouldn’t have.

All According To Plan – Rated M Pairing: Tenzou/Reader Word count: 7352 Summary: When Kakashi threatens to embarrass him publicly if he shows up to his wedding dateless, Tenzou asks you to accompany him as the good old “fake date”. He certainly didn’t expect to fall in love with you. You might have been hoping he would. 

NO PAIRING OR NOT FOCUSED ON THE PAIRING

This section organized alphabetically by title.

A Thousand Times Dead - Rated T+ Characters: Naruto Word count: 515 Summary: Naruto deals with the effects of the Shadow Clone Jutsu and the fact that he has the memories of each time one of them has died. 

Baby On Kakashi’s Doorstep Drabble - Rated G Characters: Kakashi, OC Baby, Tsunade, Pakkun Word count: 556 Summary: A baby is left on Kakashi’s doorstep. Amazingly, it belongs to him. 

Bloopers and Gag Reel - Naruto Style - Rated G Characters: So many Word count: 277 Summary: Just a list of possible bloopers from the gag reel if Naruto had been a live action TV show. 

By My Side – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 1095 Summary: Hashirama was quite used to having his own words come back to bite him but there were some things he had said that he would never regret.

Burning The Dust - Rated T+ Characters: Naruto, Kushina, Sai, Shikamaru, OC Word count: 16421 Summary: A coup hidden in the shadows for decades, a scroll with a seal he didn’t mean to activate; Naruto finds himself whisked away from Konoha to a destination unknown and meets a little girl who appears to be - his mom?

Cliff’s Edge Drabble – Rated G Character: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 314 Summary: Hashirama doesn’t like it when his brother is close to high places.

Coffins Can’t Hold The Past You’ve Broken - Rated T+ Characters: Tobirama, Kawarama, Itama Word count: 2677 Summary: The first human trial for the Edo Tensei jutsu is also the last before it is declared forbidden. 

De-Aged Drabble - Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Madara, Tobirama, Izuna Word count: 608 Summary: Two best friends battle it out over who had the cutest little bro.

Dirty Work – Rated G Characters: Iruka, Izumo, Kotetsu Word count: 4549 Summary: Midnight shifts at the mission desk can get a little boring sometimes. To keep themselves entertained Iruka, Izumo, and Kotetsu turn on the radio and sing along. None of them expected to be caught dancing on top of the desks while they were busting out their dirtiest moves, though.

Divine Detriment Drabble – Rated T+ Characters: Minato, Kakashi, Obito, Rin Word count: 285 Summary: Their reputation proceeds them.

Fanfiction Is Life In Every Universe - Rated G Characters: Sakura, Ino, Choji, TenTen, Neji Summary: In most cases, you never know who is hidden behind your most beloved usernames. 

Forward And Back (And Leave It There) - Rated G Characters: Madara, Hashirama, Kakashi, Tobirama Word count: 3420 Summary: Travelling through time was a complete accident. So was passing on the idea to someone much more dangerous.

Hashirama Dealing With A Stalker Drabble - Rated T+ Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 751 Summary: Tobirama doesn’t take his stalker very seriously but Hashirama most certainly does.

Hinata’s Twin - Rated T+ Characters: Hinata, OC Word count: 1443 Summary: They were only 6 years old when Hiashi sent her beloved twin sister away. Since then Hinata has tried hard to be the perfect daughter. Now it’s time she focused on being a better sister. 

Home Is Yesterday - Rated T+ Characters: Kakashi, Obito, Rin, Minato Word count: 8284 Summary: Kakashi inherits some land he doesn't want, explores a jutsu he didn't know he was capable of, and learns a bit about letting go of the past.

How I Met My Best Friend - Rated T+ Characters: Ino, Sakura Word count: 676 Summary: Ino and Sakura’s first meeting was both memorable and awesome.

I Wasn’t Afraid (I Am Now) - Rated T+ Characters: Kakashi, Obito, Naruto, Sakura Word count: 1758 Summary: A role reversal of the Kakashi v Obito fight during the Fourth Great Ninja War.

Kakashi’s Daughter Drabble - Rated G Characters: Kakashi, OC, Team 7 Word count: 1479 Summary: Team 7 discovers Kakashi’s secret for the first time.

Konan’s Daughter Drabble - Rated T+ Characters: OC, Naruto Word count: 990 Summary: Konan’s daughter learns to move on with her life after her mother’s death at Obito’s hands.

New Puppy Drabble – Rated G Characters: Kakashi, Naruto Word count: 602 Summary: Kakashi gives little Naruto a gift.

Nostalgic Cuddling Drabble – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama, Madara Word count: 664 Summary: Hashirama thinks wistfully of the past and his hands reach out for old memories. Literally. 

My Brother Drabble – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama, OC Word count: 537 Summary: Young Hashirama cares for his brother and their mother observes the bond between them. 

My Kind Of Caring – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 1081 Summary: Hashirama doesn’t notice a lot of things but he does notice how much he loves his baby brother.

Rainy Day Drabble – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 513 Summary: It’s obvious how much Hashirama hates the rain. Tobirama has never figured out why but he hates it as well just the same. 

Reflections Of What Isn’t – Rated G Characters: Kakashi Word count: 810 Summary: The reflection that looks back at him has never been his own.

Rin’s Twin Drabble – Rated G Characters: Kakashi, OC Word count: 1327 Summary: Kakashi meets a ghost from his past but not in the way he thinks at first.

Sakura’s Sister - Rated T+ Characters: Sakura, OC Word count: 1255 Summary: Her sister left when she was still very young. She shows up again in the dead of night with a heavy heart and heavier explanations.

Sensei and Student - Rated G Characters: Tobirama, Sakura Word count: 853 Summary: As they get older, the student eventually must take care of the sensei.

Secret Paradise - Rated G Characters: Kakashi, Shikamaru Word count: 986 Summary: Kakashi discovers an unexpected legacy left behind by the very first Hokages for the leaders of the future to enjoy. 

Sixteen Years Later - Rated G Characters: Kakashi, Pakkun, OC Word count: 1019 Summary: A sixteen year old girl shows up on Kakashi’s doorstep claiming to be his daughter. He doesn’t exactly take well to the news.

Sneaky Doughtnuts Drabble – Rated G Characters: Madara, Izuna, Tobirama Word count: 1023 Summary: Tobirama likes to hide things in the fur around his neck. Izuna likes to take advantage of this. Madara isn’t sure why he loves either one of them. 

Terrible Haircut Drabble - Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama Word count: 481 Summary: Tobirama tried to give his big brother a haircut but it doesn’t turn out quite how Hashirama pictured it would. 

The Colors Of Choice - Rated G Characters: Sai, Tenzou, Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto Word count: 1783 Summary: In learning the meaning behind one of the festivals of Konoha, Sai discovers there is more meaning to Team 7 as well.

The Ones We Choose – Rated G Characters: Tenzou, Tsunade  Word count: 569 Summary: On having Hashirama’s cells implanted in Tenzou and what that means for clan and family.

To See That Smile Once More – Rated G Characters: Madara, Izuna Word count: 1178 Summary: Nothing will ever be as important to Madara as seeing his baby brother smile.

To Stop And To Go On – Rated T+ Characters: Kakashi, Sakumo Word count: 961 Summary: The only use for time travel that Kakashi ever considered was for fixing the mistakes of the past.

Toddler Kakashi Drabble – Rated G Characters: Kakashi, Sakumo Word count: 718 Summary: Sakumo teaches Kakashi something new.

Winter Wonder – Rated G Characters: Hashirama, Tobirama, Itama Word count: 833 Summary: An innocent memory of three young boys. 

[purplefictionmom]

I want you to answer questions 1-25. >:3c

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?Right now, it’s ‘Journey to Heaven’s Gate’, mostly because I don’t see much enthusiasm for it and honestly maybe cause it isn’t as good? Eh, who knows lol

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?Honestly, my Left 4 Dead stories, at the moment. They were written on a whim at the request of a /lot/ of readers, and it basically took the joy out of it for me? It took the stories places I really didn’t want to take it, but hey, you work for comments and sometimes, you hate yourself for it.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?Mostly chronological, though I have been known to skip out of order if a scene hits me, or if I realize I started at the wrong place.

4) favorite character you’ve writtenFor characters from fandoms: definitely Undyne, Mettaton and a few others from other fandomsfor OC’s, that would be a self-insert character, or my OC for rping Timmie.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writingDefinitely Mettaton from HIAPOTS; I didn’t think I was going to add him to the story (mostly cause he just doesn’t interest me as a writer), but low and behold there he is, haha.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change nowIdk, honestly? I don’t think I understand this question, lol.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?Depends on who, and then it depends on if I think they’re open to /all/ my writing, or just my original stuff, haha

8) favorite genre to writeI love to write and experiment with any and all, but I love writing adventures, fantasy and sci-fi; and fanfiction overall, really

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?Normally, inspiration hits whenever I hit a new fandom; and its even better if the new fandom helps me think about my other fandoms differently, or helps bring a fresh new take on things I’ve thought about endlessly.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?Any mix of these, really? I normally write the best alone with music, but I’ve been known to write in silence, or with people around me just as well. 

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?Dialogue, for sure, but I think everything’s gotten stronger with time.

12) your weaknesses as an authorUgh, definitely run-on sentences. I will use every punctuation I know to continue a thought before I’ll use the period, lol. 

13) your strengths as an authorI’ve been complimented on my ability to make people feel certain things when I write, lol. Other than that? Probably that I don’t usually find it hard to sit and write a certain number of words a day as a goal--whether its for a project or just writing in general to keep me sharp.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?Sometimes? Its more often that I hear one or two songs that make me think of a certain WIP or a character from a WIP and I listen to that on repeat until I hate it, haha.

15) why did you start writing?I started small stories with I was really young, but didn’t get serious about it until I started writing bad poetry as a child to try and cope with my parent’s divorce. From there it was all downhill, haha.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?A few; some are waiting for me to actually write their stories, some haunt me cause my characterization was unfair. A few haunt me because of what they represent to me as a part of myself.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?Start writing 2000 words a day and stop feeling guilty about ‘wasting’ your talent writing fanfiction. It’ll save you the heartache and let you enjoy it more.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?Honestly, I try to take something out of everything I read, but there are a few things I read that helped me understand the scope of what I could write, and what it meant to tell a story.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?By the seat of my pants, honestly. The big details I remember easily, because that’s a part of characters that I know from head to toe. Its the small details that normally catch me.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?both, honestly? I prefer to have a long sit down session so I can keep my thoughts organized, but more and more I find myself sending out little spurts over my phone to my google docs.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?Gross. Lol. Well, honestly, most of it is so far removed from what I am now that I tend to see it more as a reminder of who I was at the time. I can read a few older pieces and remember exactly what fucked-up bullshit I believed at the time because of my family. Sometimes the real me won out and I can look back with a little more pride, but most of it is kinda gross.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?I’ll write about any subject, but I may not share it. There are some subjects that I think deserve a certain tone and understanding, and if you aren’t 100% sure that you gave those topics the understanding they needed, then sharing it would likely be a mistake. Hell, even if your 100% sure.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?Any and all, lol. My writing is more fluid if i can picture myself in the scene, so if I’ve done it, or seen someone do it, then awesome.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?God, all the time. I have so much useless knowledge in my head just because of the stories I’ve chosen to tell. 

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud ofHere you go, Elaina :D A nice little preview of our fic trade lol:

~*~*~*~

There was a comfort in that. Words didn’t have to be wasted, the two of them could find comfort for their pasts within the silence each other; the kind of silence where everything that could be said had already been uttered and there was no awkward ‘it’ll be ok’ or lies of trying to believe in a future one could hardly guess at. Instead, they drank and soaked in each other’s presence.

[kotoriqueen]

Heith Week 2k17 Day 7; July 21st - free day/College AU Also on my AO3 I was thankful I was off on the last day of HeithWeek to write for the free day. Honestly I love the thought of art student Keith and enigineering major Hunk. (I should really write a multi-chapter fic with this but what is time.) HeithWeek is now over and I was so happy to finish a ship week!! This was really fun and Heith really helped me get my writing mojo back!!

When Keith’s art professor had given the assignment to use a school issued camera to take pictures for a week, Keith thought it would be easy. He had a camera of his own that he got as a gift from a long term best friend that he already used constantly. When he and Hunk went on dates, Keith would take that camera with him and take pictures of the scenery, the food, and often times he’d sneak pictures of Hunk, as well. He’d go through the pictures later and Keith’s smile would widen and his heart would flutter when he noticed how well the pictures of Hunk would turn out. Sometimes he’d take pictures when his boyfriend was concentrating on cooking or when Hunk helps him with his motorcycle. (Having a boyfriend that was an engineering major had it’s perks.)

But then Keith’s professor had asked him to stay after, anxiety struck him and pooled up in his gut, making him feel sick. Though while everyone else left, Keith didn’t move from his desk. Instead of bolting out of the room like a bat out of hell, he stayed sitting in his desk, with his bag resting on the top. Back straight and trembling fingers gripping the fabric of his bag. When everyone else left the room, his professor started to walk towards him, and tried to get him to calm down. Easier said than done, and even when his professor said he wasn’t in trouble, it only eased Keith a little bit. Then his professor started praising him. Keith always did well in his classes, but being an art major, he did better in his art course than the rest.

With that being said, his professor decided to give him an option for a little extra credit on his assignment. When Keith took pictures of Hunk, he rarely showed them, since they were done in secret. And for photography assignments, it was normally for a few days and the professor would give them places they wanted their students to photograph instead of them letting them choose on their own. But this assignment is different, especially for Keith, when his professor wanted him to try to take pictures of people. (“You don’t have to add people to your assignment,” his professor added in. “Although if you decided to, you’ll get a little extra credit. You don’t have to stress with adding a lot of people, either. Just one is fine, and maybe you can try to make them fit into a theme.”)

Keith took that advice, and even the idea his professor gave him. His art course had been his last course of the day, so the rest of the time his art assignment is all he could think about. He sits in the library, waiting for Hunk’s courses to end, notebook in front of him as he writes down who he could ask and what he could put together to fit a theme of some kind. He could use his long-term best friend, Shiro, and his girlfriend Allura. Pair the pictures of them with flowers and their interests. Maybe use them sparring as part of the theme.

Or Lance and his girlfriend, Pidge, who liked doing pranks together and used memes to express themselves. Pidge was a good friend of Keith’s too, since they bonded over conspiracies and liked mixing red bull with coffee and then taking a five-hour energy drink on top of that. Lance was Hunk’s best friend, and later on became Keith’s friend, too, but their friendship started before Hunk and Keith became a couple.

Keith wrote down Hunk’s name using an orange pen, adding in the best qualities he could think of. (All of Hunk’s qualities were good, but how was he going to fit all of them into one assignment?)

Keith’s writing down a lot of things about Hunk, using bits of pieces to fit some sort of theme, when a hand touches his shoulder, making him nearly jump out of his seat. He turns his head quick, and there’s Hunk himself, a bright smile on his face and bag hanging off of one shoulder. Keith quickly shuts his notebook, because he is so not ready to talk to Hunk about this assignment yet. Right now he’s just brainstorming.

“Hey, big man,” Keith greets, a smile coming to his lips. “How was your last class?”

“Time seemed to drag on forever,” Hunk complains and slides into a seat next to Keith, leaning in to peck his cheek as his own way of greeting his boyfriend. “Thank god it’s the weekend. Listen, Lance and Pidge wanted to go to this new cafe that opened up in a little bit. They asked if we wanted to go, too. You interested?”

Keith thinks. He could ride his motorcycle again, if it wasn’t too far. Plus he could take pictures outside the new cafe and the inside if the servers allowed it. He gives a small shrug, and starts gathering his things into his bag.

“Sure. Why not?” Keith responds finally. “Let’s go back to our dorm and get changed. My art classroom has a broken AC so I was sweating.”

“Sure thing, babe.”

Keith’s heart flutters at the pet name, and his cheeks grow warm as the word echoes in his head. He and Hunk get up from the table and leave the library to their dorm room, where they both decide to change. While Keith’s changing, he’s messaging Lance and Pidge, trying to figure out directions to the place. Lance just says he could follow them, since it wasn’t that far of a drive. Keith’s so thankful he could ride his motorcycle again, and tells Hunk that’s what he’s going to drive if he wanted to follow behind in his pick-up. He knows how his boyfriend is with motorcycles, but this time..

“Nah, I’ll ride with you,” that response makes Keith raise his eyebrows at that. “The AC is broken in my pick-up. I’ve been meaning to fix it, but it’s been too hot to work on it.”

“Will you be okay though?” Keith asks, concerned as he’s tying his hair back into a low ponytail. “I know how you are with motorcycles..”

“I’ll be fine.” Hunk reassures, and leans in to give Keith a small peck on the lips. “Trust me.”

Keith does trust him, and turns out, Hunk was right. He didn’t scream like normal, nor did he tell Keith to slow down any. Hunk had the bad habit of backseat driving when Keith was driving his motorcycle, which didn’t irritate Keith any. But when they’re in the highway together, Keith got crazy with speed since he loved feeling the wind hitting his face. He follows behind Lance’s car, and it didn’t take more than twenty minutes until they arrived at the place. They had to park on the street, but that wasn’t so bad since Keith wanted to take pictures of the outside anyway. The inside was even better, with bright lighting and friendly staff. There’s even games to play, more for little kids than the adults, but when the four of them are seated and their drinks are ordered, Lance and Pidge leave to go play the crane game in the back of the cafe.

“They’re such children,” Hunk says with a laugh, taking a sip of the complimentary water they’re served. “Watch Pidge come back with a handful of stuffed animals.”

“If Pidge hacks that crane game, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Keith adds in, amusement in his tone.

After that small conversation, Keith’s index finger is going around the rim of the water glass, and eventually their drinks arrive. Lance and Pidge come back in time to order their food, only holding a few stuffed animals. If they had more time to play they probably would have won more, according to Lance anyway. Then he suggests Hunk and Keith should play, giving Keith the challenge to get more stuffed animals than himself. Keith jumped at that chance, and told the two of them to tell him and Hunk when their food arrived.

Keith lets Hunk play first, though, and it was the best decision he had made. As Hunk’s concentrating on the game, Keith’s taking pictures on his personal camera, not his school issued one, since his personal camera was of slightly better quality. He tries to be sneaky as he takes pictures, but Hunk turns his head when Keith’s taking pictures, eyes going wide and blinking. Keith quickly lowers his camera, and they’re both quiet for the longest time before Hunk asks:

“..You’ve been taking pictures of me?”

“Er.. yeah?” Keith responds, fingers playing with the camera strap. “Sorry? Sometimes I can’t help myself.. I’ll delete them if you want.”

“No! No no. It’s fine, Keith. I just wasn’t expecting it,” Hunk says, but a little flustered from it. “Was this from the assignment you’re doing for class?”

“Wha-- how do you--”

“I saw your notes,” Hunk admits with a small smile and a shrug of his shoulders. “Before I scared you out of your seat anyway.”

“You didn’t scare me,” Keith mutters with a small huff, glancing away. “You.. weren’t supposed to know about that. I wasn’t really ready to..”

“To.. what?”

“I was going to ask if you would model for me?” Keith continues on, cheeks colouring with a brighter red, eyes darting from Hunk to somewhere else in the cafe. “I mean-- not exactly model. Just more of.. get permission to use you for the assignment? My professor is giving me extra credit if I added people to this assignment, and gave me the idea to use a theme and I just-- I just thought you’d be the best choice..? Since I take so many pictures of you already.. without your knowledge but--”

“You’ve been taking pictures of me?” Hunk repeats, his own cheeks growing red. Keith nods, now embarrassed from admitting it. “Oh my god, Keith. You’re so cute.”

“I am not!”

“You are, though! Pidge and Lance would agree with me,” Hunk says, folding his arm over his chest and nodding. “But.. I’d be honoured to be part of your assignment? Especially if it’s for extra credit. I know how you are with art, Keith, and into your photography. As if I’m going to deny you of your first true love. And being part of it? Man.. I feel really special.”

“Because you are special. At least to me, anyway.” Keith admits, a shy smile on his lips. “But.. thank you.”

“No problem, babe,” Hunk says, and then turns back to the crane game, going back to winning an orange cat that’s in there. “But.. what have you been doing with the pictures you’ve been taking of me before? You’re not showing them to your professor?”

“No. I just admire them myself. Especially when you’re with family or back late from classes.”

“..And you say you’re not cute.”

“Because I’m not!” Keith whines, forehead resting against the glass of the crane game. “Stop insisting on that!”