#i think i took down that fic bc idk insecurity after i moved on and also not liking how

[chemicalarospec]

just remembered I had a phan playlist back when I got into them... all I remember is The Brobecks was definitely on it (I can see the Violent Things cover), which, knowing Violent Things, was probably just "Love At First Sight". thought "Aeroplanes" may have ranked too, if anybody remembers that, haha.

[jisungsmochi]

nct dream reaction: them getting jealous when you are getting closer to another member

okay trust me, i’m writing some new fics, i just finished this first so here it is 

mark:

i feel like he is the type of have A LOT of trust in his partner - without trust, he wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone

he wouldn’t mind you having other guy friends, just as long as you were clear about your relationship with them

he knew that you and renjun were friends prior to your relationship

so naturally, he was aware that you guys were already close

but whenever he saw renjun lean in closer towards you whenever you were talking

or whispering small inside jokes into your ear

he couldn’t help but feel annoyed?

of course he trusted you, and he trusted renjun

but the sight of you two being so close made him feel uneasy

so he would opt to leave the room, not wanting to do or say anything he would regret

as i mentioned, he has a lot of trust in his partner, he wouldn’t want them to not trust him in return

you would run after mark the moment you heard the door close behind him

you approached him cautiously, your fingers softly tapping his shoulder

“hey, are you okay? did i say something?”

“no you didn’t say or do anything at all. it’s just me” he shrugged, fuelling your concern

“what’s up? you know you can tell me” mark begins to feel slightly embarrassed at this point

“i-i was jealous of you and renjun, okay? i know it’s silly” it caught you off guard, you never really saw mark as the jealous type

but this only meant that he really liked you

you shook your head playfully, wrapping your arms around his torso, smiling into his chest

“it’s not silly, you can tell me how you feel. i actually prefer it, rather than you leaving and staying quiet, you know?” mark just nods, his hand rubbing your back softly

he was so lucky to have someone like you in his life, everything felt complete

renjun:

hmm i have some mixed feelings about how he would react

i feel like he would go for someone who is independent and has their own strong personality

basically he would prefer a partner that isn’t too dependent on him, you know?

but when he sees how social / close you’ve become with jaemin, he’s about to lose it completely

jaemin was naturally flirty, and you were naturally enticing to be around

that mix was not a good look in renjun’s eyes

he wanted nothing more than to pry you away from his friend

but he didn’t want to be labelled as the ‘possessive’ or ‘overbearing’ boyfriend

you would always shift your eyes to make contact with renjun’s, assuring him that you were still paying attention to him

but it still wasn’t enough for him to stop feeling jealous

once jaemin laid his hand on your shoulder and moved closer to you (a little too close to comfort for renjun) — he snapped

renjun would excuse the both of you, pulling you along with him out of the room

“i-i don’t like jaemin touching you like that”

you found it slightly amusing that he was jealous. of course you took it as a friendly touch, but you understood how it looked to renjun

“that’s just how he is. you’re the only one i want to hold hands with” you link your hands with his tightly

he starts to go quiet

“and you’re the only one i want to kiss” you peck his cheek gently “like this”

renjun felt his cheeks heat up from the touch, immediately feeling shy infront of you

“o-okay, i just got jealous, that’s all” he pouted

“i know, and that’s okay! just remember that i’m all yours, and only yours, okay?”

jeno:

very very protective

makes it clear that he can get jealous but you had never seen it first hand

so when he saw you laugh a bit too hard at one of haechan’s jokes, he felt his heart slightly ache

‘i’m not as funny as haechan’

‘they looks so much happier with him’ he would think to himself

despite his tough exterior, jeno had a lot of insecurities inside

he doesn’t think he has ever seen you laugh that hard at one of his jokes before

so he starts to get quiet, distracting himself with his phone

suddenly the laugher stops as you make you way to sit down next to your boyfriend

he honestly would be a bit petty at first, only responding with one word answers, until haechan calls him out

“dude, get off your phone and talk to your partner”

“dude, how about you stop flirting with my partner then?” jeno grunts, causing the whole room to go quiet.

you felt so embarrassed, apologising to haechan quietly before dragging jeno away from the group

“what was that? it wasn’t cool, you have to apologise to him!” you folded your arms, not comprehending how jeno was feeling

“what? i’m not apologising. you obviously enjoyed his flirting!”

“jeno, you’re being quite unreasonable right now. it was just some harmless jokes, nothing more” you tried to reassure him

he knew you were right, but he was stubborn at times

“look at me” you brought his face between your palms

“go and apologise to haechan, and then we can go home and cuddle, and also have a deep talk about all of this. sound good?” you suggested

jeno nodded, placing a soft kiss to your forehead

he was whipped for you, this only solidified how he truly felt

haechan:

oh the pettiest of them all

would make it known he was NOT happy with you leaning in so close to mark

you were at a formal function for the celebration of their new album dropping

a lot of people attended, meaning you had to lean in closer than usual just to hear someone speak

haechan couldn’t hide his jealousy when you slapped mark’s shoulder playfully

“jeez, stop shooting holes into mark’s head!” jaemin joked, causing haechan to start glaring at him

renjun tried his best to call down the heated boy

“you know mark wouldn’t ever try anything, don’t get it all twisted in your head, alright?”  

haechan just nodded, he knew renjun was just speaking facts

you eventually went to seek out your boyfriend, catching him by the drinks table

“hey, where have you been? i was looking everywhere for you”

“clearly not everywhere”

that caught you off guard

“excuse me? what’s your deal?”

haechan sighs at you, knowing that he shouldn’t have been snappy towards you

“let’s just not make it a bigger deal than it is, i was just jealous of how close you and mark were tonight. you barely talked to me, that’s all” he tried to shrug it off, but you knew him better than that

you placed a firm squeeze to your boyfriend’s shoulder

“if it upset you so much, you know you could have just talked to me? i would never intentionally ignore you like that, i was just so excited for tonight”

haechan nods, pulling you to his side slowly, his arm latched to your waist

“i know and i’m sorry, would you care to dance?” he slightly bit the side of his lip as you nodded enthusiastically

“of course i would” you would drag him to the dance floor as you swayed along to a random ballad playing through the speakers

the rest of the night was full of laughter and smiles once haechan realised he was worried for no damn reason

jaemin:

i see him as someone who can get easily jealous

if another guy even looked at you the wrong way, jaemin has his eyes on them

i feel like he does have self control tho and would choose to not act upon his jealousy

but one day he just snapped

you were playing video games with jeno while you were waiting for jaemin to come home

it wasn’t unusual for you to do so

but one time you didn’t greet jaemin when he came through the door because you were too engrossed in the game

he wouldn’t say anything at first, understanding that you just wanted to beat jeno’s ass

so he makes himself a sandwich before sitting down on the couch with you, pulling you to his side

you slightly shrug him off,

“hey, let me finish this round” you don’t even look at him, which made jeno chuckle

jaemin glared at his friend, but was still in shock by your reaction

“jaem, they’re good at this game, have you been teaching them?” jeno nudges you gently as he continued to play

jaemin was beyond pissed at this point

not only was his significant other ignoring him but his friend was sitting a little too close for his liking

he tries to grab your attention again, tugging on the sleeve of your hoodie, pressing his cheek to your shoulder

“baby, i missed you” he whispered in your ear, distracting you from the game, making you lose the round

“jaem, look what you did now!” you pout, turning to face him

jeno sensed there was tension and quickly scurried off to his own room

“i’m sorry i ruined your SUPER fun game with jeno” he scoffed

“oh please, you know we are just friends. the ONE time i don’t give you an ounce of attention, you wanna act up huh?”

jaemin was now pouting, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater

you let out a sigh before moving to sit closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder

“i’m sorry, i was just getting jealous of how close you guys are now, i want you to play games with me instead! i can teach you everything he can!”

you shook your head before linking your fingers with his

“i know you can, how about tomorrow? the whole day will be just for you and me!” jaemin’s eyes gleamed at the thought, attacking you with hugs and kisses

‘well that was easier than expected’ you thought to yourself

chenle:

seems like the jealous type

idk i get them vibes ya know?

let’s say you invited jisung to go shopping with you while chenle had a different schedule

at first, he’d be like ‘oh yeah go for it!’ bc well, it was just jisung

he had nothing to be worried about

but once he saw you post multiple stories on instagram of yours and jisung’s day out, he couldn’t help but be filled with rage

from eating cute cafe desserts, to buying plushies and even going to the arcade together

chenle was upset to say the least

not only did he miss out on spending time with you, he felt you were slowly replacing him with his best friend

but of course that was the furthest thing from the truth

the tipping point was when jisung posted a mirror selfie of the two of you wearing matching bucket hats

chenle felt his heart ACHE

when you both returned to the dorms, chenle immediately snatched you away, refusing to even greet jisung

jisung stood there like 🧍🏻

anyways chenle would drag you to his room, shutting the door quickly

you were so mf confused

“be honest, do you like jisung more than me?”

you were flabbergasted, was he on crack?

“what? where is this coming from? of course i don’t like him more than you!”

chenle allowed himself to calm down before continuing, shouting wasn’t going to get him anywhere

“well then why did you do so many fun things with him today? you even got matching hats!” he frowned, folding his arms

“we were just hanging out as friends! i promise. and we actually bought you a hat too! i wanted us to all be matching, since we were like a trio. i didn’t know that upset you”

he felt like a complete idiot

“n-no i’m sorry i assumed things, please don’t hate me” chenle pulled you into his chest

“i could never hate you, even if i tried” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his torso

jisung:

oh boy

he’s the silent type,, he would want to avoid any awkward confrontation at all costs

he would bottle up his jealousy until one day he just explodes

i feel like jisung needs a lot of reassurance if he was in a relationship

he didn’t like the sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he saw you and chenle together

things such as playful hits to the shoulder or chest, loud laughter and friendly compliments were seen as subtle flirtations to jisung

you would always try your best to include jisung in your inside jokes with chenle but he’d always shrug it off

“nah it’s just a thing between you two”

comments like those, rubbed you the wrong way and you could tell chenle was slightly bothered too

each time you tried to ask jisung about it, he’d brush it off

“i don’t know what you’re talking about”

“are you sure? because you were kind of being cold to us, don’t you think?”

“doesn’t feel nice when you’re excluded, does it?” you were beyond confused

“can you please talk to me about what’s going on? i don’t like seeing you like this” you pull jisung to across from you on his bed

he avoided your eyes at all costs, fiddling with his rabbit plushie

“i’m jealous” he mumbled

“come again?”

“IM JEALOUS OKAY?” he threw his hands in the air hysterically, catching you off guard

“sometimes i don’t like how close you are with chenle. it seems like you are closer to him than me! i want to make you laugh like that, and i want to buy you nice things. and i want you to hit me playfully”

you listened closely to each concern

you brought your hand to enclose his, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles

“jisung, you’re the only person in this world that makes me laugh so hard that my ribs hurt. buying me nice things won’t change how i already feel towards you. and we can definitely try to be more playful with eachother” you started running your hands through his hair as he slowly shuffled closer to you

“t-thankyou, it’s nice to get it off my chest”

“of course, you have nothing to worry about” you placed a kiss to his forehead as you both spent the night cuddling

[dodo-begone]

Now Listen Here Sad Bitches - Stop Being Sad

Pairing: Yan!Xisuma x Reader (idk if it's rlly yan tbh)

Request: If you’re up to it can I get yandere nHo hcs? Bc I’m desperate for nHo content, But if you don’t know enough about the nHo boys can you do a continuation of your yandere xisuma fic? bc it was really good👀

Word count: 5k words

Warning: Falling, Depression, Death, Yandere (?)(just a bit posessive/protective at the end), Bit of confusion/memory loss, Mention of Running Away

This is a Part 2 to Ugly Fuckling

If this EVER looks funky or glitched, here's a link to it on Ao3.

_______________________________________________________

A methodical ticking echoes around the room, the only indicator that time was passing. The room was nearly a blinding black, yet a ray of moonlight made its way into the room. From that, you were able to see Xisuma. Without his helmet covering his face, he looked much more welcoming and soft. It wasn’t like he wasn’t soft and welcoming anyways, he just looked so much softer and approachable. A real person - man what were you even thinking?

Mentally shaking off that train of thought, you let your mind wander onto a different topic. Since Xisuma stopped you from following through with your impulsive decision to leave, he hadn’t exactly let you out of his sight. A few of your activities were free from his supervision, but otherwise you were with him.

At first you felt like an absolute bother to him, but his insistence that it was all fine made things better. Minimally better, if you were to speak honestly. It didn’t alleviate your feelings at all. He was being so nice and attentive to you and your needs. And what were you doing with that? You were being the little debbie downer that you are and not getting better. Come on, this was all for you. That meant you had to get better for him since he was putting so much effort into making you get better.

He made you all of your favorite foods, cuddled you any time even a tear fell from your eyes, asked about what was worrying or saddening you and trying to talk you through it to feel better, and so much more. All around it was everything you needed, really it was. Everything was getting better, yet you weren’t.

This had been going on for days, and you were still thinking of leaving. Though technically you did. Maybe the entire server moved with you. Maybe that fact could be ignored. Maybe. Everyone gathered up and went to a new server not too long after your most recent “escape” attempt. You weren’t sure if it was the unsaid yearly move to a new season or what, but it seemed a little too convenient if you thought about it. But thinking was a laborious and bothersome task. So no thoughts - only depression. Yea, that’s how things rolled for you.

The thought of leaving was far from leaving your mind. It was always on the backburner, but became a prominent thought whenever you weren’t with anybody. Especially Xisuma. Voices whispered to feed your insecurities, giving a source for your depression to grow off of. And boy was it growing. Adding in this new move made you question a bit more.

You knew you wanted to leave the server because of how icky, disgusting and disappointing you were, but now you were truly realizing where the issue lay. Wel, you knew before, but it just became more evident. It wasn’t the server itself. The issue lay between you and the hermits. So that feeling of not belonging? Still rather prominent. Even with their fresh new start where everyone had the same resources, said “resources” were nonexistent since everyone started with nothing, it was rather evident you still didn’t belong.

Grian was the only one who didn’t build a “starter house” immediately. That made two hermits you knew who didn’t make a starter house. The two hermits being you and Grian, so that made you feel better. Until you found out the reason he didn’t make a house was because he went to defeat the Ender Dragon and get loot from end cities. Yea that really didn’t make you feel better. And these “starter” builds the others made were no joke. They weren’t even starters, in your opinion. These were whole builds in and of themselves. Like things you’d be building late game, if you even got around to making anything that could compare.

Once again, your mind cemented that you were very alien to this group. Alongside the “new fodder” that you had, which was really recycled thoughts, memories, or insecurities, you started to cry. Stifling your sobs without being able to cover your mouth with your hands is a very hard task. All remaining strength you had went into calming your breath and being as silent as possible. You still allowed the tears to continue their route down your cheeks with no intent to stop them. If you only allow tears to flow with no noise, you can get your emotions out while not bothering Xisuma. A win-win.

Time was illusive, slipping through your hands like sand. One moment you were crying next to Xisuma in bed then a blink later you were waking up in an empty bed. The ever annoying sun was flaunting its energy and jovial beams into the room and blinding you with it. Man, how you envied the sun. It was able to get up every day and do its duty. And not even the duty it was exactly made for. One that it conveniently worked with. A necessity to life.

Still, you layed in bed. Too lethargic to move on your own; there was no will or energy to move. Well, there was one reason; you wanted to search for Xisuma. Where could he have gone off to? He wasn’t in the bed. Somewhere else in the house? Out on a project? Who knows. The likelihood of him being gone was high and that, along with the thoughts, kept you in the bed.

The day passed. Maybe you slept. You were still very tired and very sad, so it really made no difference in the end if you did actually sleep sometime that day since nothing changed. Snuggling into the blankets for warmth and comfort, you awaited for Xisuma’s return. Though you don’t remember him saying that he was going anywhere in particular yesterday. Did he? Memories blurred together and multiple days became one mushed memory. Many memories of him mentioning future projects to you or other things came to mind. How recent were those? Mulling over your memories, you tried to pinpoint when they happened based on some other memories. You referred to them as your “time reference memories”... They had a different name, but the name eludes you. But that was their purpose, so that name shall stay.

Soon a plethora of other memories came to mind as you quickly sorted through them. So they obviously didn’t take place in the same time area-frame thingy as when you joined the Hermitcraft server. That was months ago- clearly off the table. Then did they happen around the time you were building the trash on the server? Also a big no- that’s way too early. Oh dear- all the memories that were popping up were far too early. Crap- think. Think, think, think. Come on, more recent. What about when you tried to leave? Well it happened after that, but much closer.

A flash of memories pass behind your eyes yet you can’t decipher all of them. It was obviously some memories and you could faintly see some things, but it was all a blur of colors. You didn’t have the time for this right now. After you figure this out, you could reminisce on them. Now you had to figure out which memory out of the blob you had was most recent-

Staring at the ceiling did nothing to help. No new spark of memories came up, even with your mind scrambling for any scrap it could get its little grubby hands on. Great- now you were stuck going off of his appearance and what the house looked like during those times. Now the dilemma was “which came first”. Almost every memory took place in the house.

Wait! He didn’t have the diamond armor in all of them! Only two of them had diamond armor involved. Specifically on Xisuma. You didn’t have anything on this new server. Well, compared to him or any other hermit, anyways. To say you were behind or “lagging” was an understatement. Having iron armour isn’t really a flex. Especially when it goes missing. Like who just up and loses armor like that? You do, apparently.

That isn’t the point. Stay focused! So he had armor, what did the house look like? Or anything outside the window?

Finally a lightbulb went off in your mind. Of course! He talked about a fire last time. Yes, you were sure of you. Not sure why but you were very sure of that fact. He mentioned that some gravel on a mountain was on fire and he wasn’t sure why. Then he talked about a building in the next memory… Everything was starting to add up! Oh you felt so smart right now. So good.

So what mountain did he say he was going to? It was a villager hall, right? Or was it the future place for a build… No, villager hall because he mentioned villagers and trading. Obviously not another build. But what if it was? Now you were conflicted because you were so sure but at the same time doubt pranced around your mind obnoxiously. Your anxiety was getting ticked off more.

First the disappearance of Xisuma and now your worries are getting to you? Really, it was the opposite order. More of an Oreo, but that wasn’t important.

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your thoughts under control again. Regain you cool. Alright. If you find Xisuma then you can calm everything else down. That was your biggest worry right now. The longer you didn’t know Xisuma’s location and condition, the worse your mental state became. From there, it was obvious how everything would decline.

All you had to do was go to Xisuma. Right. Go to Xisuma. Who is outside. Out of the bed. Debating on whether or not to leave the comforting confines of the blankets or search for Xisuama was definitely something. It was hard but also wasn’t all at the same time. Because yes, staying in bed and being warm would be amazing. The preferred option. But you were worried about the lack of Xisuma’s presence. That took precedence over comfort.

Grumbling, you slowly start to drag yourself out of bed. More accurately rolling out and only turning to properly get out of bed and onto your feet. Same end result really. Slowly, as to not cause a dizzy spell, you get up and walk toward the door. Said dizzy spell still hits you like a baseball gets hit by a bat, but there was an attempt. Black overtakes your vision for a second before everything goes back to normal. Boy you didn’t miss those pounding headaches with dizzy spells. Damn vertigo.

Shaking your head, you steady yourself for the journey to the outside. It was going to be perilous. Well not really, but your mind tried to come up with the worse case scenarios. Like some Dream SMP members coming for you to drag you back. Or pillagers near or at the front door. Or some other nasty mob. Oh the possibilities were nearly endless. But you had to do this.

Hyping yourself up, you mentally prepare for what you could think of. Aka prepare for something bad like pain. To be fair, pain would be better than a Dream SMP member but pain still hurts.

A noise of annoyance leaves your lips as you once again try to get yourself back on track. You hated how easily distracted you got sometimes. Though it did help in some situations. Admitting to that wouldn’t be too helpful in any regard so back to ignoring it you go.

Soon you’re back on track and continuing your journey. The only thing standing between you and the outside world stared at you. The front door. It wouldn’t be for long. All you had to do was open it and then start the other leg of your journey and- wait.

The door greeted your face with a nice hearty slam as you walked right into it. Confusion was just written all over your face. You grabbed the knob, did you not? Taking a step back, you peer down. Low and behold, you were holding the door knob. Your brows furrowed as you twisted the knob. Nothing happened. Trying with more strength and vigor or whatever might do something? Maybe it’s just stuck. Unlikely but hey! Delusions are much sweeter and easier to swallow. Plus being more violent with an inanimate object makes it work! Usually, anyways. Beat a banana and you get mush so not always. That’s besides the point because the darn door still refused to open. Huffing, you try being a little harder with the door. Though that leads to nothing but you fearing it breaking. One creak escapes the poor door and you’re off of it like a puppy squealed rather than a door.

Anxiety started to bloom in your chest for the uptenth time or whatever. It’s happened a lot and that’s all that matters. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. It’s just a door. If it breaks it can be replaced. Also it’s a door. It’s probably fine. Though you didn’t exactly want to test that. Who knows when the door is going to just say “nope! I’m done” and just break?

Leaning against the door, you slide to the floor as you think of another plan to leave. The door was locked, right? This is a brand new door we’re talking about. Rust couldn’t have shut it already, right? You were by the sea though so who knew what the salt and water was doing to it. That ruins doors, wood, and mentals, right? If only you were a builder or someone more fluent with stuff like this. Someone who knew how stuff like that worked. Because wow, you were beyond dumb on that subject.

You curl up in defeat. Bringing your knees to your face, you wrap your arms around them to secure them. To feel safer and smaller. Block out the world. All you wanted to do was stay there, just like that. Not that exact position, but you want to feel comforted and safe. A craving for belonging and love. Although something you craved, whenever it was just handed to you or offered, you turned it down. Nobody actually likes you. They just want to use you.

Everyone has used you in the past for something.

Tears started to form in your eyes. As you lift your head from the curl, you take a deep breath. This is annoying, tiring. Crying is useless right now. Nothing is going to be fixed this way.

As you subdued the tears, you looked around the house again. There had to be another exit, right? Maybe. Half of the houses you’ve lived in only had one entrance or exit. The other half either had a secret exit or another doorway. This wasn’t one of the latter, though. It was one of the former; you were only informed of one way to exit or enter the house. Xisuma didn’t mention any emergency escape. Well there weren’t any holes in the house besides that- OH WAIT!

Smacking your forehead, you scramble to your feet and look directly at the closest window. If it had the ability to, it’d probably be sweating out of fear or anxiety. Either or, that window wasn’t going to have a good time. Fortunately for you, though, the window couldn’t judge you. And the window is very easy to climb out of.

Walking closer for inspection, it didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to open. Just flick a latch or two and just lift the bottom. You’re home free after that. The latches weren’t an issue. Grabbing the bottom of the glass, you silently pray that it won’t be as stubborn as the door.

Some deity was feeling nice today because the window opened without much trouble. A little elbow grease but that was a small price to pay. Now started the awkward maneuvering to get outside. This was one thing you didn’t miss from your past.

First a leg, then the other, and slide later, you land ungraceful into the outside world. Either you were going to land on your face or bum and you didn’t want any of that. So instead you did a nice little dance.

Okay so dance would be the fun way of stating it. What happened was you stumbled around for a bit, waving your arms around in a desperate attempt to regain balance. But you get to stay on your feet, so the trade off of your dignity was well worth it. Plus nobody was around to see it.

Once balanced, you were in awe of the builds that were just a wall away. How much has changed since you last came out? How long were you inside? You only remember the comically tall portal and the partial build of the portal tower being around when you came. Besides the starting house and a few other small things, of course. But now there were two completed towers. The dark one was obviously the portal tower because of the color scheme. What was the other than? It was colored like a lighthouse with the red and white bands encompassing it, but you didn’t want to say anything definitely. After all, it was somewhat hard to tell.

The coloration indicated a lighthouse, along with the silhouette, but it looked a bit too artistically done. And when something is artistically done, it could be anything. So you’ll call it tower two! Tower two was rather pretty!

Xisuma wasn’t around though. Right. The mountain wasn't around here, was it? Where was it, anyways? It must’ve been pretty far away.

With the prospects of a long walk ahead of you, your shoulders slump. Dear lord, this was more work than you wanted to go through. Who knows how far it is! But it wasn’t just some walking for fun, it had a purpose.

Gathering your remaining energy and grit, you start the laborious, long, and treacherous journey through the continent for Xisuma. Hiking wasn’t your strong suit and keeping an eye out for Xisuma too? This makes everything so much harder.

You were only able to get off the island and back onto the mainland, where you started to scale the mountain before you heard a ruckus. Progressively, it got louder and more discernible. Yelling. Sounded like words. Gibberish, but it slowly grew clearer.

“Oh my gosh,” danced with the wind by your ears. “Oh no.” A cry of your name, or something really similar. Were those words? Those couldn’t be words, right? Whipping your head around, you see Xisuma running your way frantically. Okay, so those were most definitely words if the scene before you proved anything.

Excited, you start your descent back to the ground. Step by step. Is it step by step when you’re climbing? Your focus is on Xisuma. Pretty much entirely. It really shouldn’t have as you misjudge the next step. In the blink of an eye you went from viewing rock to viewing sky and a scary feeling building in your chest. The feeling grew exponentially and it didn’t take a genius to know what was going on.

A scream ripped its way from your chest as it tightened more. Said scream doesn’t last long for it ended as quickly as it came. No air could move, no noise could come out any more. Air was stuck in your throat, unable to reach your lungs. Fear paralyzed your muscles, eyes shut for there was no difference in the view. Everything was blurred and the black was more welcoming and comforting.

Too fast. Time wasn’t even a consideration. A social construct thrown out the window as soon as your fingers lose contact with the rocks.

The ground had to be near by now. It felt like hours passed now, but at the same time everything seemed to be zipping by.

Contact is made, and you expect it to be the end. You grunt as all remaining air is forced from your body. Another noise came from beneath you. Gasping for air, panic made you feel so cold. Is this what death felt like? No air was coming in and you definitely hit the ground. Were you going to die because you slipped up?

Black was encompassing your vision once again. Frantic attempts to regain air were barely rewarded for your lungs remained mostly empty. Everything still felt paralized, but now your chest felt worse. It hurt so much.

Something was moving beneath you. Pink entered your failing vision. It shifted you around, moving your head and body. More accurately, it moved. Your head was placed on a soft surface while your body was on something else.

Slowly your vision ebbed back to reality. Or you did. Everything still felt wonky. But an axolotl helmet came to greet you. That was a nice thing about your vision clearing, you guessed. Pretty pink axolotl.

“Are you okay,” the axolotl shakily asks. It’s hands were shaking and it sounded masculine.

“Yea,” your voice felt and sounded weird. Very airy, frail, and kinda delirious. You know, the “I don't feel right” type of delirious. Is that delirious? Oh wait you were talking! “Yea i’m good.”

“Are you sure,” the axolotl keeps persisting. It seemed to be looking over you for any injuries. How nice of it! “Double sure? Triple sure? No scrapes? Nothing hurts?”

“I’m absolutely sure,” you assure. Man this was a comfy place and you wanted to stay here longer, but you need to get standing. With shaky arms and legs, you unsteadily get up, stumbling or leaning a bit too much at times. The axolotl panics and helps you to your feet, never letting go afterwards. You thank it for its help and try to walk away, back to Xisuma’s house. Though it assists you, staying by your side as if it were attached with cement.

“You need to stop doing stuff like this,” it begs, leading you by the elbow. “It’s like everytime i’m gone, you purposely go get yourself into trouble, get hurt, or try to leave. I don’t get it. Why do you keep doing it?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. What’s it even talking about?

Suddenly a thought hits you like lighting and everything starts to line up. This is literally Xisuma. How did you forget that? He changes skins with every new season. Wow you either hit your head, panicked and forgot every important detail ever, or you really needed the oxygen for those brain cells because they finally got what they needed to function.

“Sorry,” you really are sorry. For half of those things, if not almost all of them. If you were simply allowed to go back to the Dream smp in peace, you would be completely fine. Not a bother to the hermits, not a walking hazard to society, and you wouldn’t feel inadequate anymore… Actually that wouldn’t go away no matter where you went or what you did. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen.”

Xisuma doesn’t reply to your words and you start to panic again. “You weren’t in the house and I got really anxious, okay? I didn’t remember where you said you were going and I just… I needed a hug. I know that sounds stupid or childish, but i wasn’t feeling good. And you said that if I needed something, I'd just have to go to you. Oh who am i kidding, this was the dumbest thing ever. I’m so so sorry for bothering you-” Tears started to well up in your eyes, blurring your vision entirely. You were thankful that you weren’t walking alone while like this. Who knew what else you’d get yourself hurt on.

Not only were your words stopped, but your whole body was too. Jerked back by Xisuma, your teary eyes look directly at his visor which only reflects back your pitiful face. Though you don’t see it for long as you’re pulled into a hug by Xisuma. This only causes you to cry harder.

“Hey hey hey,” Xisuma’s voice is a low murmur, a comforting rumble from his chest. “It’s okay. It’s alright. Did I not tell you where I was going before I left?”

Shaking your head, a tiny “no” escapes you between sobs. Xisuma just hugs you tighter and you snuggle closer. That’s if you can, but you still try.

“Oh i’m so sorry,” he starts to pat and rub your back in a comforting manner, repeatedly apologizing for forgetting to tell you. And other things. Though you can’t exactly tell what they are through your sobbing.

It takes ages for you to calm down. You don’t really have much to go off of, besides the sun. What was once a noon sun glaring down on you was a peaceful sunset over the ocean. When you finish crying, only shaky breaths and tear stains remain to show off the previous crying fit. That and the red eyes.

The sunset is pretty, so you focus on that. Positioning your face to not have it smooshed into Xisuma’s chestplate was a struggle since he was holding you so tightly. But you managed. Soon your face wasn’t full on smooshed into his chest plate, only the side. Your cheek was definitely doing that pancake thing which smooshes out like a flat tire.

Everything’s so peaceful and quiet. Only the waves and sea life disturb it, but it made a great background noise. Xisuma soon adds to everything with some light humming. Rumbling from the chest is so comforting. Why was it such a forgettable yet amazing thing? It felt so nice.

With the humming came some rocking. Going side to side, humming a nonsensical tune. Not long after, you join in as well. Yours was definitely less consistently though, for it was broken up but little giggles. The longer you two went on, the more you giggled.

His arms unwrap themselves and you feel disappointed and saddened by the loss. You needn’t wait for long though, as on both sides of your body, you suddenly feel a tingly sensation. Bursting out into laughter, you try to struggle away from the tickle attack Xisuma has launched on you. But he’s relentless, keeping up with your retreat. It’s only when you’re out of breath, on the ground, and playfully yelling your surrender at him, that he stops.

You two start to calm down again. Laughter slowly ebbed away to chuckles or silence. Not an uncomfortable or awkward silence by any means. A safe and comforting one.

“Come on,” Xisuma prompts, getting up from the crouched position he had to be in for his attack, giving out his hand when he was properly on his feet. “Let’s get home before mobs start to spawn.” You’re more than happy to take his hands. With a pull, you’re brought back to your feet. But you two don’t let go of each other’s hands.

Together you two finish the trek home, and rather quickly too. With the sun setting, it was just a matter of minutes before danger would appear. Luckily you two made it to safety without any issues. The beginning area Xisuma had set up was well lit, safe from the dark and the dangers it harbors.

Being back in the base area made you feel more at peace, calmer, less endangered. Whatever you wanted to say, but you felt safer. And everything looked so pretty at night! You really need to come out more with Xisuma. Staring in awe at the builds in a different light, you and Xisuma dawdle on home.

Everything was perfect again. Just like before. You were happy, Xisuma was happy, what else could you need.

Xisuma walks ahead of you to unlock the front door, to which you say a little “thank you” out of habit and slip on by him and into the house. You do mean it, but still, it’s a habit drilled into you.

After getting back into the house, with some idle chit-chat, you start to get things fixed up in the house. Some dinner was in order for the two of you. After all, you just tried to climb a mountain to find Xisuma and who knows if Xisuma actually ate today. Plus you haven't had anything to eat yet. Whoops.

Leaving Xisuma to his own devices, you continue your conversation as you prepare a meal.

You don’t notice him locking the door and windows, or the dark look he has when he sees the window open, or him putting the keys in his pocket after locking all of the other windows. When he doesn’t reply immediately, though, you turn toward the last direction you heard him from, only to reveal an empty house. Perplexed, you look around a bit, but are stopped by a tap on your shoulder.

Jumping, you whirl around to see Xisuma without his helmet on, chuckling at your reaction. Laughing along with him, you give him a nudge with your hip. He returns it, laughing harder when you’re bumped away from him. This goes on for a while as you cook dinner, with Xisuma helping you.

The night goes on like this. Full of gentle, playful antics and a loving atmosphere. The love you felt was immense. You hadn’t felt happier in months.

Xisuma hasn’t been so scared in months either.

He should’ve secured the house better. Made sure you were fine before he left. Locked the windows before he left.

Now he knows to lock windows. You’d try to use them in the future. Better a situation where you went looking for him than you leaving him. But now he knew.

And all was good again.

[sukirichi]

sukirichi’s 2.4k milestone event

weee another milestone and nooo i couldn’t wait for 2.5k because i’m so excited and happy, thank you so much! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ including HAIKYUU this time around yeeeee! also i don’t have a restaurant aesthetic anymore, just kind of goofing around now! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. 

before you request...

please read about my writings first! it will include the stuff i write and don’t write about. i’m more flexible in nsfw works, so if you really want to try for a kink, just send me in and if the idea is up to my liking, we’ll see how it goes! 

please be patient and nice! if i don’t like the tone of your request or if you’re ‘demanding’ me, aka, “hey, write this for me, this concept...” your ask will immediately be deleted!

no requesting of the same idea to other writers please!

please keep in mind i don’t do too much canon-heavy plots, aka really specific canon events and how they lead up to one another. i don’t read the manga for both jjk and haikyuu ʕっ• ᴥ • ʔっ

I do not do headcanons anymore. I’m not good at them LMAO.

i feel a lot more laid back in my writings now, so i’ll only be taking requests that i want to write for! the accepted requests will be listed down below as i organize them

you may refer to my first milestone event if you want more ideas for AU requests! you no longer need to include the numbers/spices/ingredients format used in that. just send whatever idea you want ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. whichever idea i love the MOST will be turned into a series just because I want to try new things hehe!

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, tsukishima kei, miya twins, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi, bokuto koutarou, akaashi keiji, tetsuro kuroo

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge, okkotsu yuuta

: kenma kozume

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin, ryoumen sukuna, gojo satoru

: suna rintarou, kageyama tobio, kita shinsuke, oikawa tooru, akaashi keiji

accepted requests: (only accepting the ones that interest me for now!)

favorites marked as ⭐

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: hello love!! i know it LITERALLY just came out but would you consider a pt 2 or a drabble for sweet lies? where megumi either catches her and sukuna or she genuinely starts moving on uasdfghj i'm convinced that megumi heard her fucking sukuna in the bathroom <3 anyways pls feel free to ignore me too

RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ma’am , i beg of u ,,, spare husband! sukuna x wife! reader drabble. I just read your arranged marriage AU and lordddd i’m obsessed. How long did it take for him to take her virginity 😳? i’m so curious as to how that went down read here: black magic [02]

⭐⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA:  Yooooo how about Rockstar Sukuna seducing his manager ehehehehe~ 

⭐ RYOUMEN SUKUNA: Ok but... pirate captain Sukuna 👀👀👀 I’m havin some Thots ngl 🥵🤤 I can’t decide whether reader should be the first mate and they’re a kickass Power Couple 💪😎or if she should be a stowaway who gets found out and has to pay for her passage with her body 😩😉

OKKOTSU YUTA: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi saw that your request are open and congrats for the 2.4k !! 🎊 if possible can i please request yuuta having a girlfriend that's his childhood friend? (So like instead of rika it's y/n and she doesn't die) that loves to dote on him cause that boy needs some love. Thank you!! <3 | kiss me more

⭐ OKKOTSU YUTA: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: Toge's S/O being so sad that even when he says "smile" it doesn't work( also saw that in TikTok)

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi can i request a scenario in which inumaki and okkotsu gets hit with a curse(?) That makes them a clone but the clone is a kid and seeing their gf taking care of the baby please thank youuu

INUMAKI TOGE: We both be weak for yuuta and toge😩 congrats 2.4k btw. so i'll request that for the event! poly!yuuta and toge. i see that you only write sfw for them so fluff. u can think of anything you want for it..and yes we simp for both of them i love them sm🤧

⭐ INUMAKI TOGE: Hi! Congrats on 2.4k!!🤩 For the event, may I request an au where reader is Yuuta's sister? Can be gn/fem reader anything is fine. And they fall in love with Toge? Fluff fluff fluff please🥺Maybe they meet one day when she went to visit the school? Or she's a new sorcerer. Aahhhh I can't think of anything so I'll leave it up to your wonderful mind😌 Thank you! And again congrats! | crush

INUMAKI TOGE: SUKI OMG SIREN AU WITH TOGE AND DEAF READERHis voice hypnotizes all who hear it but she’s unaffected and he’s shook lmao 😂 She teaches him human sign language so they can communicate 🥺 maybe when he realizes he likes her he brings her seashells and other shiny things from the sea floor and it’s so cute 🥰 just 🥺🥺 siren Toge 🥺🥺🥺 (DEBATING)

GOJO SATORU: Hello dear Suki! 🤗 congrats on your more than deserved milestone 👏🏼🥳 I know it’s not the restaurant aesthetic anymore but still, thank you for being a Michelin-star chef spoiling the fandom with your food 🤤👀 I’d love to request the following: ingredient 66 with sugar 8 & 9 and Gojou as cherry on top 🥰 some heavy angst with a happy / smutty ending. additional 🍪 for inspiration - „Best friends don’t look at each other the way you look at her. You never know what will happen, tomorrow might be too late“. Have a lovely day dear 💕

GOJO SATORU: Congrats on 2.4K!!!! May I please request a fic where the reader has like. Zero reaction to Gojo? And he’s kinda shook bc people either adore him or hate him, but here’s reader acting like he’s just a normal dude. And he starts falling for her bc he’s never experienced that before

⭐ GOJO SATORU: a reader that likes Gojo but immediately says N O P E bc they clock that he’s at risk of breaking their heart so they just try to avoid getting close to him despite being a teacher stuck with him a lot of the time. And Gojo is just like ??? But I like you??? Why are you always avoiding me? “I’m tired of you acting like I can’t commit to something. Committing to you is easy.”

⭐ GOJO SATORU: ♡Soft nsfw scenario with s/o and gojo while outside is snowing read here: cold

⭐ GOJO SATORU: Ohoho~ another milestone! Congrats~Can I get Vampire!Satoru x Monster Hunter!Reader where he “proves” to her that all of his victims came willingly(I think from the AU choice you’ll know exactly who I am lol 😉)

⭐ GOJO SATORU: hello! first and foremost, congratulations on reaching 2.4k! i love your writing and its just oh my goodness <3 your stories made my heart squeezed! second of all, i'd like to propose a request for a story. fluff/angst (up to you! your way of writing is just superb) mixed with nsfw gojo satoru. a modern business tycoon au where he just lost his wife and is overprotective of his 1 year old toddler. you're his new staff in the office and is treated badly bcs you know, new staff. one day, you stumbled upon your boss and his baby in a shop, who wont stop crying and he took an interest in you when you managed to calm his kid down. he hired you as his babysitter + made you move into his estate. from there, your life changed! also, thank you for accompanying my days with your stories, it's marvelous! 💕

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: okay i thought you might like this idea for the event (or maybe not lol) - naoya coming home to his beloved little housewife and feels like giving her a treat for being such a good girl.,,.,, read: man's gonna re-arrange your guts and have some soft moments with you after (not that he would ever admit that shsghshsj) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | good girl

NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Stage magician Naoya and his cute little assistant, where every other trick works to undress or strategically rip her outfit so he can show off his little bunny to the crowd before fucking her brainless backstage

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE:  listen ,,,,, ur naoya hate fic goes crazy stupid may i add something. naoya being overprotective like reader is so pretty and many of the clan men look at them a lottttt and naoya out of nowhere will kiss you in front of them or will grab them in front the maids and workers. then reader becomes mad and they get into an argument and then hate fuck :D lmaoo  (THIS REQUEST PLEASEEEE SEND ME TO HEAVEN) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ NAOYA ZENIN MY BAE: Omg Suki! Congrats on the 2.4k! So uhmm I decided to take a break from the Kita/Naoya twin au angst 👉👈 idk if you are still accepting requests but HAS ANYONE EVER MENTIONED OR HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED SUGAR DADDY NAOYA????? 🥺 -🌸

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: Megumi being insecure about his eyes because they are a very light green colour( like in manga) so he wears blue contacts( I saw that on TikTok and... big brain energy)

⭐ FUSHIGURO MEGUMI: SUKI, HI! First of all, congrats on 2.4K you absolutely deserve every single milestone coming your way 💞💞If it’s not too much to ask may I request a one-shot with megumi where he’s jealous that his fem!crush is spending more time with Itadori and sees how she enjoys his company a lot but it’s purely platonic? Reader likes megumi too and they both need that push in the right direction?Thanks so much if you decide to write this 🥺💖 I seriously love your writing and your big brain sm

CHOSO: Could you write something with Choso and the reader that has a toxic mother (if that actually exists.  She controls everything the reader does, and plays with her mind/ feelings making her feel like she's the bad one)?But after a fight with the mom, the reader has enough and just leaves deciding they will finally do what they want, ending up at a tattoo shop, where Choso is the tattoo artist.Ngl, i'd like this to be nsfw because i am thirsting for this man ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Don't really have kink preferences but if you could include size and breeding kink then i'd be hella thankful ☺

GETOU SUGURU: Yo how about a Victorian AU with Gentleman Thief!Getou and Debutante!Reader nsfw 👀👀 maybe she hears something in the dark and goes to investigate and gets pressed to the wall with a knife at her throat 👀🥵

FUSHIGURO TOJI: can we get a part two of the "lessons learned" toji fic 👉🏽👈🏽 maybe him fucking and overstimulating her so hard she cries and begs for mercy but no mercy will be given. maybe he uses the same handcuffs she used for him on her 🥰 maybe some manhandling cause im a hoe for letting a man throw me around

⭐ KAGEYAMA TOBIO (fckin finally): kageyama tobio x reader fic for mutual virginity loss? maybe they just haven’t had time with him being a fancy schmancy volleyball player, maybe there’s just nerves, i don’t know! i’ll leave it up to u babe <3

⭐ SUNA RINTARO: hi!! congrats on the 2.4k HEHE just wanted to request a suna and tattoo/flower shop au? idk just the thought of tattooed suna is like. mm yes

⭐ SUNA RINTARO/AKAASHI KEIJI: hi suki!! i’m so excited for your event! so i rarely ever see someone else who loves both akaashi and suna so i was wondering if you could write something for them! maybe apocalypse au?? or roommate au?? i was thinking y/n could have a relationship/be fuck buddies with one of them and some smutty exhibitionism happens with the other watching, and then some pining that ends in a threesome if you write those! if not, then just a smutty n filthy little love triangle that you can choose an ending for lol (a happy one would be nice bc my heart can only handle so much angst, but really it’s up to you and what inspires you!!) tysm for doing this event and always working so hard <3

⭐ OIKAWA TOORU: hi i love your writing!! can i please request work au (boss oikawa x secretary fem reader?) with degradation and him fucking your in the window 😭💗💗

[multiplefandomsblog]

Can i request how different idv characters would act as roommates? Eli, Helena, Luca, Edgar, Vera, Norton and Fiona if thats alright with you :DDD

warnings? kinda suggestive, crack fic, cussing

mod toby and mod bread helped me do this fic, its a bit all over the place but it was fun so no regrets

Eli Clark

I feel like being roommates with eli would be pretty pleasant

everything would be clean all the time

he’s the type of kid that everyone wants on their team because of how good he is at everything

so if you scored a roomie like him, you got super lucky

if you left a mess he wouldn’t get mad, he would probably just clean it up himself and leave a sticky note that said to clean up ur mess next time(but not like, passive aggressively)

ofc you would clean up after the cute sticky note, bc who can say no to this bb? 

If you don’t clean up tho, brooke rose will probably shit on your hair when u sleep

tbh you’ve always wondered what eli looked like without his eye mask

so one time when Eli was sleeping, you went next to his bed to try and take his eye mask off and see what he looks like.

You took off the mask and found out it was a dummy 

a few seconds later you heard footsteps and you turned around

Eli came up behind you and knocked you out with a bat

you two don’t speak of that day.

Brooke kept screeching last night, and you got no sleep at all, so I guess we’re having chicken for dinner 

Unless you had a good reason, then eli and brooke prob won’t mind cleaning up after u

I can imagine you going back to your shared room in the manor after a rough match and seeing eli just sweeping the room in an apron and a cloth covering his hair looking like cinderella

“Honey, I’m home!”

basically if you lived with eli, you basically had a husband/mom/wife???

If you came back to the manor, beaten up and bruised from the last match he would prob pester you and nag you

while cleaning up you wounds he would prob say, “You have to be more careful, im always worrying. You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack!”

seriously tho, don’t worry this bb, he would actually have a heart attack

Helena Adams

i think living with helena would probably feel like some sort of kdrama

she might be a bit clumsy and trip over a few things, falling into your arms bc of her blindness

though she might be doing it on purpose

If you moved things in the room without telling her, she would probably get mad

for example, you move the sofa chair a little bit to the right bc you thought it looked better

helena walks in the room, sits down on the sofa chair and ends up accidentally sitting on the sofa chair arm rest instead

resulting in her bottom hurting and a very long talk with you

she got her revenge weeks later

she had asked you to check under her bed for monsters because she couldn’t do it herself

you were teasing her for still being afraid of monsters but looked underneath anyways

low and behold, 

she put a mirror there.

will even wack you with her cane if you’re being annoying

Her cane is pretty affective in shutting you up lol only sometimes

“Hey Helena, are you braille? ‘cause i can read you like a book when i touch yo-” *wack* *moans*

helena: ...

you: ...

helena: ...im leaving

you: heleNA WAIT-

One time everyone at the manor was celebrating Helena’s birthday with a piñata, 2 seconds later she was beating the shit out of Luca with her cane

even after everyone’s been yelling that he wasn’t the piñata

One time you and Helena had a staring contest because you were both bored.

She won.

sometimes to get her close to you, you would sit on the sofa chair super quietly and still

And then you’d wait for her to come and sit on your lap thinking it was the chair

and it would work 

she would probably sit on your lap for a few minutes, confused as to why the chair felt elevated

and then she would feel your arms snake around her waist

and she would- “whAT THE FUCK- SCREEEEEEE”

she would probably make a cute bird noise and then just sit there, not knowing if she should leave or not

in her head, “THEIR LAP IS SO WARM OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T THIS HAPPEN SOONER”

in real life, “let go of me you pathetic mortal”

you’d beg her to stay on ur lap longer and she would cave in

but she didn’t stay because she liked you! baka

Luca Balsa

living with luca will probably be the opposite of eli’s

messes, everywhere

inventions, everywhere

at one point though you had a sneaking suspicion he might be a bunch of rats.

 you saw him outside crouching beside you guys’ room with a bunch of rats coming out his sleeve and running into a crack in the building

“its for science!”

he’s also super scared of helena

Luca doesn’t like to admit it, but he got his purple eye from Helena after he made a bad pick-up line for the blind. 

She’s been chanting “one of us” and threatening to “finish the job” ever since.

he’s basically a big baby that needs to be taken care of

i feel like he might break down sometimes from not doing his invention right, or feeling insecure

but i guess his rats are there to help

but since he had a roomie, he wouldn’t be able to cry on his own

and its a good thing because he doesnt have to do everything by himself anymore

he learns to ask for help when living with you

you’d help him through his episodes and he would slowly start to become more reliant on you

if he was feeling a bit moody, he would unconsciously try to find you to cuddle with

if you lived with him, you’d probably have to be very responsible

luca would have his own bed that he would never sleep in because he wouldn’t be able to sleep without you in his arms

everytime he shifts in bed, you’d feel a tiny shock

it kinda bothered you so

you pranked Luca by touching him with those zappy ring things you’d get from a dollar store.

You just wanted that mother fucker to get a taste of his own medicine

he would basically be a puppy that follow you around, he would constantly old your head

probably refers to you as his

like if you downed a shot that barmaid made for you, he would be like, “EYYYY THATS MY BABy-heurghrhgh”

now you have a drunk baby that you have to take care of

You tried giving luca a shower afterwards, now you know how it feels getting electrocuted.

And trust me, Luca and water do not mix.

good luck have fun

Edgar Valden

living with edgar would consist of 

1. edgar being super specific of what was his and what you can’t touch

2. big tsundere baby

3. sketches of you hiding in his sketch book

if you lived with edgar, you’d have to be super patient with his nagging or else you’d have to find a new roomie

he’s constantly nagging you

but if you are tired of it and give him the silent treatment, he’d probably just nag you even more for attention

you need to give this man attention or else

you ignored him for a whole day once because he said something mean

he decided to give you some milk and cookies as an apology

the ‘milk’ was his muddy paint water and the cookies were expired

i feel like one day you two would be arguing about who moved his stuff, your argument being he unconsciously moved his stuff, his argument being you moved his stuff

you guys were so heated up you didn’t notice how close you two were getting

edgar ended up pouncing on you like a feral dog

though when you woke up, you both agreed that you ended up winning the argument

when you’re reading or just doing nothing, he’d ask to sketch you or paint you

i-its not because he thinks you’re beautiful or anything

its just because he thinks that your whole self is aesthetically pleasing and pleasing to the eye- but not because he thinks you’re pretty!

sometimes when he was super focused on his art, he wouldn’t notice your figure slowly approach him

you’d boop his nose and watch as he froze

wh- hoW DARE YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON A VALDEN

secretly tho, he really loves it when you do that.

like

do it more

please or not whatever

Vera Nair

Vera would probably be a bit anxious when she heard she was gonna get a roomie

but she would do her best to be at her best behaviour

she’s very well mannered and is very polite

she’d kinda be the type to silently care for you

like, she’d notice the little things that bothered you and made sure they wouldn’t bother you ever again

like, if you stubbed your toe alot, she would give everything that you could stub your toe with, rubber covers or socks

but she wouldn’t tell you it was her even though it was obviously her

if you fell asleep on your desk instead of your bed, she would probably but a blanket on ur shoulders and a pillow underneath where you left your head

she’s the thoughtful type

before you went for matches, she’d give you a cheek kiss for good luck

and if you did the same, she would probably play it cool but then panic a second later.

theykissedmetheykissedmetheykissedme-

im sorry this is short idk what to do for her-

Norton Campbell

oh BOY

once norton starts to warm up to you, you guys are basically married

like there was no proposal, just “do you take this man to be your husband- you can’t say no”

he would probably take care of you alot

even when you didn’t need it

i can do it mysel- no

but actually, before he warmed up to you he was pretty cold, 

he felt himself growing feelings for you

and he didn’t want to because he was afraid he would lose you and he would have to go through the heartbreak of losing someone all over again

he would leave the room to go hang out somewhere else

he would keep his distance and not talk with you much

but there was this one time where you woke up with him around you, you just pretended you didn’t wake up and relished in the feeling

it took some time, but eventually he warmed up to you

though he still constantly worries about you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt

during matches he would always take hits for you, and just stay closer to you in general

he wanted to make sure you got back to the manor safely, it didn’t matter if he was sent back via rocket chair

he always put you as his #1 priority

he also gets jealous super easily, he’s scared someone will swoop you away from him

so to make sure everyone knows that you belong to him, he’d give you his clothes to wear

not only do his clothes look adorable on you, everyone will know that you’re his

probably pester you a lot if you tripped or got a paper cut

“yoU COULD HAVE DIED” “IT WAS A PAPER CUT”

Once, Norton got stuck to the fridge like a magnet for 5 hours

He’s been using that as an excuse to force you to bring him his snacks every since.

pick up lines are a definite yes

sometimes you’d be shitting and you’d hear outside the bathroom door a faint,

“My love for you is like Diarrhea.” “norton what the fuck im shitting-” “i just can’t hold it in” cue camera zooming in on his face and him smirking into the camera “OH MY GOD WHY”

like Luca, his bed is useless. he always needs you in his arms when sleeping, he wants to protect you and just feel you closer to him

puts him at ease

kisses? hell yes.

if you had to go to a match without him he would send you off with a ton of gross wet kisses on your face ew

He might even try to seduce you into staying

“norton I’m gonna lose morality points!” “fuck your morality points, i wanna smash”

Fiona Gilman

I feel like fiona would probably super psyched when she heard about sharing rooms with you

I headcanon her to be super bubbly and social but when she is alone with her thoughts she’d probably regret everything 

“why did i say that why did i say that why did i say that-”

probably prays to god, “please kill me”

she tries her best to make sure you’re comfortable

she doesnt make a big mess and she makes sure she cleans up after herself, overall a pretty cool roommate

except for those times for when she tries to babtize you while you’re showering-

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING” “THE LORD SHALL CLEANSE YOUR SOUL WITH HOLY WATER-” “what the f- iS THIS ALCOHOL???”

this has happened too many times^^^

one time she accidentally created an ultra portal in the toilet. 

Y’all still have no idea where it leads, and no intent of finding out. 

Although, Kreacher has been complaining of some nasty stuff appearing in his room

i feel like during matches she would always call you with her portals to say hi or just give you a small kiss

it stopped being cute when she went through the portal and ended up seeing the hunter instead of you

mentally scarred from that

sometimes things would disappear in your shared room too, not only the toilet

you’re convinced she has a bunch of hidden portals in the room

like, one time you dropped a pencil and it went through the ground.

you never saw it again

Or you know that missing sock?

Portaled.

i dont know what this turned into

[kaitosimp]

As a filthy, filthy multi shipper I’d like to know both headcannons you have for all his pairings and why you like them so much, if you want to of course!

As soon as I read this, my mind started ranting so hard 😂 I will happily answer! And tysm for asking bc if being able to talk about kaito is rare, imagine how much ive talked about the ships i have with him, so im very happy rn!! 🥰 WARNING: dis gonna be long as hell 👁👄👁

OKAY SO the two main ships I have for Kaito are Oumota and Saimota, Saimota is my fave ship and Oumota is my fave comfort ship! The other ships I rlly like with him are Akamota, Amamota, and Momoharu, i pretty much read any fic that has him paired with someone but these are the ones i search for on my own whereas the others its a "i'll read 'em if i come across em" type of deal! So lets dive in 👁👄👁 (i have endless hc's for my ships so i'll only give a few or else this'll never end)

🌌🎭 Oumota 🎭🌌

Reasons: I am a goddamn sucker for thematic parallels, enemies to friends to lovers, and the rivals tropes 🌚 I dont even know how i fell into the oumota hole, cause i didnt consider it much in game, but after reading a few fics it just made me so happy! I love their banter and clashing personalities and stubborness lol, and goddamn, the post game/hangar fics for them are *chef's kiss*

Hc's:

-The way Kokichi tried to get Kaito to see he had feelings for him was by bothering/pranking the absolute shit out of him, but Kaito's dense to these things so he didnt even realize Kokichi stopped bothering other ppl to target him specifically

-When Kaito realized he had feelings for Kokichi, his initial reaction was "oh fuck oh no why him pls no-"

-Eventually Kokichi had to directly tell him to his face he liked Kaito cause Kaito wasn't getting the message at all

-Kokichi loves stealing Kaito's clothes, esp his jacket

-They argue a lot but its over the absolute dumbest shit like before they got together, its usually nothing serious

-Kokichi secretly loves listening to Kaito talk about space, though he teases Kaito about it

-Kaito's fave thing is to cuddle/spoon Kokichi, cause he's the perf size to snuggle with

🌌🔍 Saimota 🔍🌌

Reasons: CAUSE YES!!! From the beggining of Shuichi being the main, Kaito is there for him and supports him so much and makes sure Shuichi is okay, he's just so supportive and loving and helpful and motivational and he's something Shuichi def needed to move forward in the killing game! I just fucking love their dynamic and how they help each other and how they balance each other out as well, plus the whole hero and sidekick thing is adorable! AND OFC THE FAMOUS "i shouldnt be talking about another boy like that" LINE ASDFGHJKL ITS CANON OKAY

Hc's:

-Shuichi confessed first, it took a few times for him to get his feelings across properly bc each time he said something like "i like you" or whatev kaito was like "aw bro i like you too!"

-Kaito tried to get over his crush on Shuichi bc he thought Shuichi wouldn't go for someone like him (i hc him being kinda insecure and covering it up with that confident persona of his)

-Shuichi isn't big on physical contact, but he makes the exception for Kaito bc he's always so warm and gives the best hugs

-Shuichi is the only person who Kaito lets see him vulnerable, it took a lot of time but he eventually learned to stop bottling everything with Shuichi

-Kaito constantly takes Shuichi stargazing, its his fave thing to do and Shuichi is ever so happy to accompany Kaito and listen to space rambles

-Their first kiss was beyond awkward and Shuichi nearly fainted but they got the hang of it eventually

🌌🥑 Amamota 🥑🌌

Reasons: I literally saw an amamota fic on ao3 and it won me over oops- to me it just makes sense! They're both adventurers in a way and i love their personalities together, Kaito's boisterous nature would be a nice change of pace for the ever calm Rantaro and Rantaro's mellow nature would be something refreshing for Kaito y'know?

Hc's:

-Kaito always tried helping Rantaro catch up in classes bc he always misses 'em to travel and he was always the first one to welcome him back

-Rantaro got attached to Kaito and didnt even realize it until he came back one day and kaito wasnt there to greet him (cue disappointed rantaro and bAM thats when he realized)

-Kaito loves hearing about Rantaro's travels, he's always asking for pics and details

-Kaito confessed first, he literally couldn't take it anymore and just threw it out there while Rantaro was mid greeting

-Rantaro didn't tell Kaito about his sisters until about a year into their relationship bc he was scared Kaito would disappear too

-Rantaro literally re-visited a bunch of islands and countries in the artic circle just to take pics/vids of the aurora borealis for Kaito

🌌🎹 Akamota 🎹🌌

Reason: I just think they'd be sooo cute together 🥺 Kaito and Kaede are both positive people who try to help others and their personalities fit so well together! Idk man it just makes sense to me

Hc's:

-Kaito absolutely loves hearing Kaede play the piano, sometimes he'll sneak record her so he can listen to it whenever he's feeling down

-Kaede tries teaching him how to play the piano, instruments aren't his thing but he tries his best in the lessons cause it makes her happy

-Kaito's confession was accidental, he was just listening to her play when he blurted out how pretty she was, which led to an awkward confession talk with lots of blushing

-Kaede has tried to compose a piano piece that embodies Kaito's personality but she fails everytime, cause his larger than life personality is hard to capture perfectly

-They're both big on affection, so they're constantly holding hands and hugging

AND FINALLY, 🌌🔪 Momoharu 🔪🌌

Reason: THEY'RE GREAT TOGETHER OKAY 🥺 I just love how Kaito got Maki to come out of her shell and how he trusted her/accepted her!! He gave her the cutest nickname and befriended her and literally gave his life up to protect her, aND MAKI'S CONFESSION ABOUT FALLING FOR KAITO STILL MAKES ME CRY

Hc's:

-Maki confessed it ever so casually while mid training, which literally made Kaito fall over in shock

-Kaito loves Maki's hair, he could spend hours playing with it and he always helps her brush it

-Maki hates her scars, but Kaito's always there to kiss em and remind her how beautiful she is, he always traces constellations on 'em when they cuddle

-Maki's constantly scared she'll accidentally hurt Kaito, or that he'll get hurt bc of her past

-Kaito's very protective of her, just like Maki is of him

-Maki loves the sound of Kaito's voice, her favorite thing is to listen to him talk about space

W O W i am so sorry for this massive post 💀 I seriously tried limiting myself asdfghjkl oops

[crash-cinematic-universe]

troy barnes and his forgotten love confession

pairing: troy barnes/abed nadir 

summary: troy and abed wake up in the library surrounded by their disoriented classmates with their memories wiped. unfortunately for troy, one look in his friend’s eyes caused the entire forgotten ordeal to play out inside his head-- including the love confession that ended with a scream of agony.

warnings: uh language? insecurities maybe? zzzzombies? 

notes: trobed time babeyyyyyyyy B-) also this is sort of a trail run for me writing for trobed?  just trying it out with a short 1.3k word fic. lmk how you like it bc i am operating off of feedback. idk i love these two theyre wonderful and i would die for them i think. SPOILERS FOR COMMUNITY S2 EP6 “EPIDEMIOLOGY” 

taglist: @simonsbluee

______

            The first thing Troy noticed was the pounding headache. The lights were all too bright and everyone was too loud and he felt like he’d gotten hit by a car. It was almost as if he was hungover, but one glance at his surroundings disproved his theory. The library was filled with groggy students and staff, the hallways jammed by sluggish athletes and a passed out Leonard. Troy didn’t really care about them, though, all he really cared about was the fact that Abed was lying on the floor beside him in a torn up Predator costume. 

            It was Halloween. The dean had thrown a party-- why couldn’t he remember it? It was all a fuzzy cloud of nothingness; for Troy, that’s almost normal, but something about this felt… different. Almost as if the gaping hole in his brain was made by something other than Troy. For a moment, the memories teetered on the edge of his conscious stream of thoughts, but they were quickly dissolved by Abed’s groan of discomfort. 

            “Troy,” He whined. “Are we hungover or were we drugged by Russian spies?” Abed’s hand brushed Troy’s as he struggled to sit up beside his friend. “Or maybe the dean’s Halloween party descended into chaos to the point where the government had to get involved…” Abed trails off. Troy was too disoriented to focus on anything other than the wisp of a recollection that swirled in his hippocampus. He felt sick, but Abed made it a little better.

            “Abed,” Troy asks. His voice is unsure and the sentence is punctuated with a fitting voice crack. “Do you--”

            “Remember anything from the past 12 hours? No. I’m assuming you don’t either, which leads me to believe that no one here does. Usually, I’d be more than happy to launch ourselves into an investigation, but to be honest, I feel like shit,” Troy can only smile at Abed’s ability to read him like a book. It’s almost as if they shared brain cells-- Abed was, in every sense of the phrase, Troy’s soulmate. Something in Troy’s brain stirred the moment the word ‘soulmate’ crossed his mind. Something was lurking beneath the fog in his head, he just needed to draw it out. 

            “We should save the adventuring for tomorrow,” Troy agrees after a long pause. “God, my head hurts,”

            “When we get home we can watch a movie and lay down for a bit, that might make you feel better,” Abed assures before rising to his feet. He looked down at Troy expectantly, but Troy was frozen in place. Something about hearing Abed call his tiny dorm their home struck Troy differently than usual-- he held onto the phrase before looking back up at the man above him. Anxiously, Troy took Abed’s hand and rose to his feet. It was apparent that Abed mistook Troy’s silence for something negative.

            “We don’t have to watch a movie-- if you wanted to you could just go home. Or we could make a blanket fort and sleep in there,” 

            “I don’t care what we do, as long as we’re together,” Troy grins. “And, uh, away from the dean. He looks oddly… manic.” They both glance over at their dean and erupt into giggles at the sight of his askew wig and ruffled skirt. Dean Pelton’s costume was great, sure, but in that moment he looked less like Lady Gaga and more like a barbie doll that got caught in a garbage disposal. 

            Troy and Abed walked hand-in-hand to Abed’s dorm room, small groups of confused students hidden in the corners as they walked. The feeling of Troy’s fingers intertwined with those of his best friend was both familiar and foreign-- they held hands all the time, but this time felt different. It felt less like a simple sign of affection and more like a statement; with every brush of Abed’s fingers on Troy’s knuckles, something between them changed. 

            “I was thinking something mellow,” Abed cuts through the silence. “I don’t know why, but I don’t think I can handle anything too intense,” Troy nods, a movie suggestion falling silent on his lips as his eyes meet Abed’s for the first time that night. One glance in the spiraling brown irises his friend dawns opened the floodgates of Troy’s mind. It was everything, all at once-- an overwhelming whirlwind of emotion and struggle and pain and confusion. There were zombies and a hot doctor and chaos and the U.S Military, but Troy didn’t care about any of that. No, his main focus was the echoing goodbye in his brain.

            He and Abed were cornered. Troy could escape, but it soon became apparent that he would have to leave Abed or succumb to the zombie virus that overtook their community college. And so, Troy said the one phrase he held back every single time he saw Abed-- he spilled his guts before his best friend was torn apart. 

            “I love you,”

            “I know,”

            Troy’s eyes filled with tears; the mixture of the overwhelming rush of the past 12 hours and the emotions that rocked him to his core making his tears inevitable. It’s not uncommon for Troy to start crying, but Abed could tell that this time, something was different.

            However, Abed had never been good with handling emotional situations. He did his best, hastily tugging Troy into his dorm room. He sat him down on the sofa, grabbing the first blanket he saw and wrapping it snugly around Troy’s shoulders. Abed darted around the room, frantically searching for something to comfort Troy; it wasn’t until Troy grabbed Abed’s forearm that he paused.

            “Abed?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I--” Troy stopped. He didn’t know what to do. He was anxious and tired and all he wanted to do was fall asleep in the middle of a stupid horror movie next to his best friend, but he couldn’t do that because his hellbrain was screaming at him. He loved Abed, sure, but did Abed love him? An offhand Star Wars reference doesn’t count as an ‘I love you’, although when it came to Abed, you could never be sure. Troy thought back to the night he dislocated his shoulders. He thought about how he acted under stress, how he ruined his chances at a football scholarship; he ruined his life and made the best decision he ever had in the same move. He couldn’t take the risk again-- he couldn’t risk losing his closest friend over something so trivial. He took a deep breath.

            “I-- uh-- I really appreciate everything you’ve done. For me.” A second passes and Abed doesn’t react.

            “Oh. It’s okay, you’re my friend. I’ll always take care of you,” Abed’s voice was calculated and robotic, but his words held depth that only Troy could truly understand. Abed smiled before opening the cabinet beneath his TV, revealing a plethora of movies ranging from rom-coms to thrasher to historical fiction.

            “I went through the movie selection we have-- our mellow options include Coraline and--” 

            “There is no way that Coraline is mellow, that shit is horrifying!” Troy chuckled, wiping away the few remaining tears on his face. The mood was lightening and the natural rhythm the two shared was once again buzzing through the air. 

            One day, Troy will tell Abed how he feels. He did it once, he could probably do it again. Or maybe he can’t. Maybe he’ll be a coward forever. Maybe he’ll die alone in a ditch with a stray cat named Doug-- hell, even Doug will leave him--

            “Troy?” The swaddled man was snapped out of his thoughts. Troy tried his hardest to hide his anxiety, but it was apparent that he was failing.

            “Yeah?” Abed paused. He looked down at his palms before intertwining his fingers in his lap. There were three movies laid out on the coffee table, but Abed didn’t acknowledge them. Troy was afraid, but he wasn’t sure why. It was the odd seriousness that muted the buzz from before. Abed knew-- he had to. That’s the only reason why his mood would shift so drastically. He knew that Troy loved him, he remembered the disastrous party and the zombies and he knew. Finally, after three solid minutes of Troy’s silent panic, Abed spoke.

            “I love you.”

[urmomification]

SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG

this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just

(tw for like slight possession n shit)

(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)

(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)

going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone

[gaylotusthatexists]

Maybe take the blame for bad things happen bingo where Patton takes the blame for smthing. Maybe while in the imanation and makes the dragon witch mad. It just seems like a very patton thing to do.

searching for his prince

fandom: sanders sides

pairing: platonic moceit, platonic intruality

prompt: taking the blame 

trigger warnings: blood mention, fighting, crying, implied past unsympathetic/morally grey patton 

word count: 2092

a/n: this is written for the @badthingshappenbingo​! and it is also a sequel to this fic bc i couldn’t help myself. idk if this is exactly what you were looking for anon, but it does in fact include the dragon witch so :) yeah i’m sorry about this but hope you enjoy

ao3

Patton didn't quite know how he felt, following Deceit around the Imagination. On the one hand, Deceit seemed... kind. Willing to help Patton, at least. Which was more than what could be said for the others, who'd apparently forgotten all about him, left him to suffer all alone. But this was Deceit he was talking about! How could he know that Deceit wasn't planning something else? That this was all out of the goodness of his heart and not just to take advantage of Patton?

No, that couldn't be it. Patton knew that Deceit couldn't be all bad - if he was, then why would he help Patton? Why would he offer to take him back home?

Unless he wasn't taking him back home, unless he was just luring him into a trap, unless...

"What are you doing in the Imagination, anyway?" Deceit asked, glancing over at Patton.

Patton fixed his eyes on the ground ahead. "I came to check on Roman. But couldn't find him, obviously."

"You know it's dangerous in here," Deceit said. "Why would you put yourself in danger for Roman?"

Patton blinked. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, Morality." Deceit looked at him with pity in his eyes. "You should be looking out for yourself, you know. Roman can handle himself well enough here, without any aid from anyone else. You shouldn't put yourself in danger for his sake."

"But... he'd do the same for me," Patton argued.

Deceit raised an eyebrow. "Would he now?"

"Y-Yeah, he-" Patton thought back to how he felt hidden behind that rock, waiting for Roman to arrive, to save him, only for... "I, uh, well, if he knew that I was in trouble, I'm sure that he'd come."

Deceit smiled, sadly. "Was he in trouble when you came to check on him?"

Patton closed his eyes, trying to think. "No. Maybe. I don't know." He took a deep breath. "We had an argument, I think, and he came here to take a breather, so a while after I came as well to... apologise, I guess, and..."

"You couldn't find him," Deceit finished, to which Patton nodded. "Perhaps if you'd just had an argument, he didn't want to be found. Maybe that's why he didn't come to save you."

Patton's eyes widened. Oh. Oh no. That... That would make sense. He couldn't quite remember what the argument had been about, but the memories were slowly starting to come back, and... well, Roman didn't reacted very well, at all. Roman was never good in arguments, he didn't like to lose, so of course he'd ran away, and... it was all Patton's fault. Roman could actually be in danger right now, and it would be Patton's fault.

"I'm not saying he doesn't care for you," Deceit continued, "but, chances are, he may be angry at you."

"This is my fault," Patton muttered. "I went too far. He-"

"I sincerely doubt that it's your fault, Morality," Deceit said. "In all honesty, I don't think you can do any wrong."

Patton let go of Deceit's hand, moving to rub his own palm. "I can, though. I make so many mistakes, all the time, and now... what if Roman's in danger right now?"

"He's not in danger," Deceit promised.

"How do you know?"

Deceit hesitated. "Well, uh, truthfully, I don't, but he's strong enough to not get himself into any major trouble. He controls this place, I don't think he's capable of losing a fight here."

"You're lying," Patton mumbled, rubbing his arm. "Roman's lost fights before here. He's come back to the Mind Palace bruised and hurting and always comes to me for help. But he-"

A worried expression settled on Deceit's face. Patton couldn't tell if it was because he was scared for Roman, or scared for Patton. "Listen, Morality, Roman will only get hurt in here if he allows himself to, uh-"

Patton's eyes widened. After... After the things that Patton had said, Roman would allow himself to get hurt. He always did. Whenever he came back all hurt, it was because he'd just had a rough time with the others, maybe an argument with Virgil, or maybe something bad had happened to Thomas' ego. And- And maybe he wasn't purposely allowing himself to lose, maybe he just wasn't in the right mind frame, but... well, he wasn't in the right mind frame now, either. He'd left the Mind Palace crying, screaming and shouting, and Patton had thought that maybe he just wanted attention, but-

He stopped walking. "I have to go find him," Patton whispered, stepping away from Deceit and sprinting back in the opposite direction, eyes darting around wildly in search of his prince.

"Morality!" Deceit called, but it was too late. Patton had made up his mind. He was going.

He ran and ran and ran until he couldn't breathe anymore and needed to rest. He collapsed onto the ground, curling up into a ball and quietly crying, which didn't particularly help with his lack of breath. He could hear roars in the distance, fighting, stomping, the ground almost shaking below him, and things were not going good. He was right back to where he started, afraid for his own life, alone with no prince coming to rescue him.

And the footsteps, the shouting, the fighting was getting closer. He hugged himself tighter, sheltering his head with his arms, his body shaking and brain quietly praying for everything to stop.

"Patton?"

Patton opened one eye, peeking out at the scene in front of him. Remus was bent over him, looking at him with confusion.

"Remus?" Patton whispered. He took several deep breaths, trying to compose himself, before sitting up and wiping the tears out of his eyes. "What are you-"

A dragon swooped overhead and Patton sucked his head again, as Remus glanced up and grinned. "Be right back, Old Blood 'n' Guts."

Patton closed his eyes, not wanting to witness whatever Remus was getting himself into. A moment later, Remus returned, blood dripping down his mace and his leg. He squatted down next to Patton.

"Why aren't you with Deceit?" he asked, tilting his head. Patton noticed there was blood stuck in his hair, as well, and all over his cheeks, and Patton tried his best not to think about where that could have come from.

"I have to save Roman," he said. "Deceit wouldn't let me."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "What, is Roman in trouble?"

"Yes," Patton said, before frowning. "Maybe. I don't know. But Deceit said-"

Remus pulled Patton up off the ground. "C'mon, if he's in danger then we haven't a moment to lose!"

He began to skip away, and Patton jogged over to join him. "Why would you care about Roman?" he asked, recalling how many times Remus had straight up attempted to murder Roman.

"He's my brother," Remus said.

Patton frowned. "You hate him, though?"

"I don't hate him."

"You're always trying to murder him."

"Yeah, he's annoying sometimes," Remus said. "And only I'm allowed to murder him. I don't want someone else to get 'round to it before I do."

That concerned Patton, to say the least.

"Also, I've ran out of dragons to kill here, so..."

Patton glanced down to the floor. "You... don't think Roman might actually die, do you?"

"Nah," Remus said. "I don't think he can die. Unless Thomas dies, I guess. Oh, what do you think will happen to us when Thomas dies?"

"I don't want to think about that."

"I do, though!"

"Think about it in your own head, and I will... not."

Remus pouted. "You're no fun."

The two walked across the fields of the Imagination, eventually coming across a tall tower. It... looked to be a similar style to the buildings in Roman's realm in the Imagination, but they couldn't have been there - Patton suspected he was closer to the Dark Imagination, and he didn't recognise this specific tower.

Remus hummed. "Big tower. No entrance. Yeah, this seems like the kind of place a kidnapped person would be held."

"Kidnapped?" Patton repeated. "Who said anything about kidnapping?"

Remus shrugged. "You're the one who said Roman might be in trouble."

"I didn't say he'd been kidnapped."

"Held hostage, then," Remus tried.

Patton fiddled with his fingers. "How do we get up there if there's no entrance?"

Before Remus could reply, someone landed in front of them, a smirk on her face. Red, scaly skin, a pair of thin, long wings spread out behind her, talons for hands. Oh. Perfect.

Remus got into a battle stance, swinging his mace around his shoulder. "What have you done with Roman?"

The Dragon Witch tilted her head. "Roman?"

"We know you have him," Remus continued. "Where is he?"

Patton was shaking. Again. He'd never personally met the Dragon Witch, but Roman had told him all about her, about his many battles with her, about all the times he'd lost to her. She seemed to be about the only person in the Imagination he ever lost to.

"Oh, Roman," the Dragon Witch mused. "I saw him a few days ago. Seemed pretty upset."

"What did you do with him?"

"He's just staying with me for now, until he feels better. Don't worry, I'm taking good care of him."

She'd taken him. Roman could be hurt, and it was Patton's fault. All because he'd...

He shouldn't have shouted at Roman. It was a bad thing, for him to have done. He knew that Roman got insecure, and that he took things too seriously sometimes, and... he knew that he looked up to Patton, that he thought Patton cared about him. And of course Patton cared about him, he loved Roman, he loved all of them, but... maybe he'd been a little harsh on Roman. Maybe he'd taken things a little too far.

"It's my fault," Patton whispered. "It's my fault he's upset."

"Patton-"

Tears were forming in Patton's eyes. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be back in the Mind Palace, huddled up with Roman on the sofa, holding him tight, with Logan reading a book to the side and Virgil sprawled over the stairs with his headphones on full blast. Things used to be like that - why weren't they now? Now Roman was upset, all because of him, and... and he was stuck in the Imagination with no way to help Roman.

He could try. He ran forwards, a determined expression forming across his face. But the Dragon Witch was having none of it. Her talons ripped through Patton's skin and he fell to the floor, clutching the wound forming on his leg, then his arm, then his cheek. She wasn't stopping. And Remus wasn't helping.

"Patton!" a voice shouted.

Patton took in a deep breath and stretched out his body, kicking the Dragon Witch off him and shuffling to the side, leaning against the tower. Remus had disappeared, replaced by... Deceit. Deceit was back. And he'd called him Patton - not Morality, Patton.

"Patton, are you-" He ducked below the Dragon Witch and slid up besides Patton. "Are you okay?"

"Deceit," was all that Patton could muster.

Deceit grabbed hold of Patton and clicked his fingers. For a moment, everything went dark, and a weird feeling settled in Patton's stomach, a sinking sensation that made him feel almost sick. And things stayed dark, but objects began to appear in Patton's vision, a lamp to his side slowly spreading light around the room. He was sat - no, laid on a bed, in Deceit's arms. He sank into Deceit's clutch, crying into his shoulders. Deceit stiffened up, seeming surprised, but soon rolled with it and awkwardly pat Patton on the back. Patton tightened his grip on the back of Deceit's cloak.

After a few minutes of crying, Patton drew back, wiping away his tears and sniffling. That hadn't been nice. The Dragon Witch just-

Oh. Oh no. Roman was still-

"Calm down," Deceit said, softly. "Roman's alright."

"He isn't. The Dragon Witch hurt him, and it's my fault, and-"

"It isn't your fault," Deceit said, firmly. "If Roman is hurt, you can't be held accountable for that."

"But I-"

"You made a mistake," Deceit said. "People do that all the time. If Roman is hurt, you can't take the blame, it's whoever hurt him that is at fault."

Patton glanced down. He leant back towards Deceit, allowing him to wrap an arm around his shoulders and hold him tight.

"Roman will be okay, Morality," he said, stroking his fingers through his hair. "You'll be okay."

[ladybender]

I just watched beast with a billion backs for the first time and i was just wondering if there's any general fandom opinion on why fry was so quick to jump into other relationships and forget about leela right from the start of it?

i’m so sorry i’m only responding to this ask now… i was crafting the perfect response for days, because this topic rocks and i have so much to say, and then life got weird, and then i forgot… but now I’m here nonny, and this ask will get ANSWERED

Let me just start by saying, I have one solid hot take for this movie, but it wasn’t first formulated by me, but by my very fav fic author The Sophisticated Shut In, a longish time ago. i’m putting it together again from scratch and memory, so maybe now it belongs to a mix of the both of us? idk. It was her big brain that shock me into belief tho so she should get credit too. That said, let’s start!

So! a month had passed between BBS and BWABB. during this time Fry and Leela most likely didn’t talk much. Leela was mourning the death of Lars and she needed time to sort out all of her emotions (MANY of which are related to Fry). So, she does what most would do when things change drastically and you feel unbalanced, you wish for things to go momentarily “back to normal” just to have some stability and time to think.

But! if Fry and Leela have a weakness, is that they are so terrible at communicating. so while Leela’s seemingly pretending everything that happened actually never happened, Fry doesn’t understand why Leela is leaving him out of her life and is not talking to him. 

I’m gonna take a big step back here. after the opera, Fry most likely left it up to Leela to decide what she wanted to do with their relationship. the opera itself is the last big grand gesture Fry made in the show. after that, he thought he has done everything he could, and pretty successfully told Leela what he felt in a way she understood. So he stood still, giving Leela the chance to step forward. I’m never sure what really happens here, but they must have lost the moment somehow, because Fry's waiting for Leela to make a move and tell him how she feels, and Leela's waiting for fry to maybe prove that he meant it (don’t hate on her, she is basically going the equivalent of “but do you like me, like me?” in this moment and tbh i relate to that level of deep insecurity so much). The result on this: they got stuck.

Now, idk if that gap between TDHAIP and BBS really was 3 years long, that’s a bit to much imo, but if it really was it would make sense (in a sad, frustrating way) why Leela all but jumped into Lars’s arms, and Fry made those drastic and dramatic decisions like, in this order: leaving the future, staying in the past, leaving the past, pretending to be someone else for years, catfishing Leela, not telling anyone he’s dying and instead lying some more, “i’ll only tell the truth in the form of a video-confession at my own funeral” (I mean, I love the guy, but he made some questionable choices. i can understand everything and cry forever if you think it has been 3 + 12 + 2ish years total since he wrote the opera for Leela with no response).

Now, back to BWABB. Leela in ignoring Fry, with all the best intention in the world, but *surprise*, it turns out that it wasn’t a wise move (who would have thought!!), because now Fry is acting out of the ordinary and it confuses Leela more. and instead of saying "calm down mayhaps, i don’t hate you you big baby, i just need to think”, she goes ahead and only indulges him when they are with the others, playing along with the ‘everything is fine’ facade, but when it’s just the two of them and he needs her help (as a friend), she shuts down or lashes out at him. I mean look at this shit

She is outright telling him to leave!!! red flag

Fry, on his end, doesn’t really know what Leela is going through (bc talking? I don’t know her), so if you look at it in his POV it’s pretty depressing. Leela was about to marry Lars, the man she said she loved and was the only one for her, he thought that meant things would change between them now. But as it turns out, things were just the same after. until they turned worse than ever.

Just think about Fry and Leela most representative quote: “you are lonely and I am lonely, but together we are lonely together.” This is not true anymore in this movie. For the first time they are lonely apart. And really, their themes are all about that. For Leela it’s isolation, specifically. She is constantly isolating herself (at Amy’s wedding, for example. Or how she’s the only one not to “love the tentacle” AND to not want to go to heaven and be with Yivo. The only one. In the entire universe. immovable object).

As a contrast, Fry’s loneliness is unbarable to him, and is expressed in this constant and desperate need to have something that will return his love (this is where both his relationships with Colleen and Yivo fit. unstoppable force lmao)

Not but really, Fry’s relationships are so rushed, and clearly just an attempts to push his loneliness in a corner. Fry even put up with an open relationship (something he visibly didn’t want) to stay with Colleen. he was pretty desperate. This relationship with her is also a regression for fry - the way he didn’t want to break up with Colleen resembles a lot Michelle. but that isn’t even the worst of the two because then you look at Yivo, and I cannot even begin to laugh at how big of a Leela mirror shklim is (but I’ll get to that later). All I have to say about Yivo and Fry’s relationship is contained in this quote:

Fry says “it loves me” before he says “i love it”. That kinda says it all.

And finally let’s talk about mirror and color coding bc I thrive for that shit!!

So I think I can safely say Fry is represented by orange and Leela is represented by purple. nothing new under the sun. and those colors play a major role in this movie!! And they are about as subtle as you might think lmao

First let’s take a look at Colleen:

She is literally always wearing purple??? (only when she is in her cop uniform she isn’t). And if you think that’s not enough to prove my point look at this

I KNOW,, what the hell, right?!!

the animator coloring this, probably: “just a little bit of purple to show Fry is trying to get over Leela and failing big time *drops whole palette of purple into the frame* WOOPSY”

PLUS (and here comes the most subtle but BLATANT thing this movie has done so far) look at what Fry sees in the montage after he and Colleen break up

Fry just sees generic couples being happy and kissing!! No colleen resembling anything! Fry is not missing her, he’s missing something else 👀👀👀. all the women in this are wearing purple…. the guy making out with his psychiatrist is one of Leela’s ex-lovers……… the two characters fighting and then making up are orange and purple…..??? I JUST DON’T KNOW WHO COULD IT BE!

and this is not even touching the whole Yivo business. Can I talk about Yivo , I’ve been dying to talk about Yivo with you all day! One eye,? check. purple? check. tentacles??? Check. fry finding shklim after wondering alone in a strange new world, and the lonely monster will help him feel less alone??! CHECK!

I know the movies are weird in a shippy pov (took me so long to understand what the fuck was going on in Bender’s Game from a freela prospective, and i dont even know for sure if i have it right lmao) but the movies make a lot more sense if you look at them as Leela realizing her own feelings for Fry in BBS, and the next three films as her dealing with that until finally!!!!

[happyyunho]

you are in love

choi sanxreader. a/n: this is based off the bop “you are in love” by taylor swift so it would help if you listened to the song before/while reading the fic.

it never says “y/n” bc idk i don’t like y/n but it’s obviously readers perspective so it’s definitely y/n :!.&.!,!.

thanks taylor for writing this song that makes me think of san every time i listen to it :’)

you couldn’t hear your thoughts over the sound of the music being played in the club. it was well past 11:30 and you were totally wasted, but that didn’t stop you from dancing to the beat, casually grinding on the unknown bodies around you. your friend dragged you to this joint and, at first, you didn’t want to be there for after a few shots you were ready to let lose.

the attractive boys around you made it very hard to resist the music. you felt a hand on your hip and you leaned your head back to get a look of who it was. a tall, dark haired boy stood above you and his lips grew into a smirk. you mirrored his facial expression as you continued to dance sloppily, swaying your hips with your hands in your hair. as you danced against the boy he lowered his lips to your neck and began to kiss you. being as drunk as you were you didn’t even notice and continued to dance in bliss.

a few moments went by and you soon noticed a pair of eyes on you. one look. the boy you were dancing with was attractive, of course, but the boy, or man you caught staring at you was on another level. he wasn’t boyish, he looked mature with a glass in his hand and a suit on. dark room. not your typical club-goer. nonetheless you locked eyes with him and smiled slyly. he visibly chuckled and walked off to the bar. you were suddenly intrigued and ripped your body away from the boy to follow the strange man. men just, for you.

you found him sitting at the bar, ordering what looked like a glass of water. you took a seat next to him and stayed silent, waiting for him to notice you.

“so.... you gonna tell me why you were staring?” you asked, a quirk in your eyebrow.

the man continued to stare forward as he handed you a glass of water, “Drink this, come with me.”

you took the glass and stared at him, confused.

“my mommy told me not to go with strangers.” you quipped sarcastically as you downed the water.

“since when do you listen to your mommy?” he finally looked at you. his eyes were beautiful, brown and deep. you felt your soul getting sucked in and that’s when you made the decision that would change your life.

it was about six months since you met san, your boyfriend, at the club. time moved, too fast. your romance was a whirlwind, some of your friends said. they all praised your relationship and you always said you were flattered but you knew it was true. your relationship with san was the best one you’ve ever had and you hadn’t even known him for that long.

“ready, doll?” san said as he walked into the kitchen.

you nodded eagerly and looked at your boyfriend. he was the most handsome person you’d ever met and you asked him to pinch you every day, just to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

“can you-“

“i’m not pinching you, goofball.” he said chuckling as he grabbed his keys and reached for your hand.

the smiled and rolled your eyes as you took it and walked out the door with him.

you were at dinner for your six month anniversary and san was really treating you, not that he doesn’t normally. he ordered his favorite, beef ramen and you had a simple vegetarian dish since you were on a cleanse. you had since finished your dinner but san was still scarfing down his food. he was talking about his upcoming tour with his band and how excited he was to see the fans again. you played, it back.

you listened to him intently as you watched him eat with fervor. the little noises he made when he ate were so endearing. as he shoved the noodles into his mouth sloppily you giggled, and he heard.

“what?” he said, mouth full of food.

you giggled again and waved your hand, “nothing. continue please.”

san resumed his munching and you continued to watch him eat.

“oh my gosh!” you whined. buttons, on a coat.

you and san were walking down the street laughing as a button fell off of your favorite coat. you pouted and reached down to pick it up before you tripped over your feet nearly tumbling to the ground. luckily, san was your knight and shining armor once again and he caught you.

you placed your hand on his chest as you laughed so hard you couldn’t breath.

“it’s not funny! you almost fell!” he yelled playfully, bending down to pick up the button.

you steadied yourself as san held the button out in front of him.

“kiss it.” he said smiling stupidly.

you blinked in amusement, “what?”

“kiss. it. kiss the button!” he shoved it in your face and you had no choice but to kiss it.

lipstick stained the button as you kissed it and san dropped it into his own pocket.

“there. now i’ll always have you with me wherever i go.” lighthearted joke.

you felt your heart swell and you giggled at your adorable boyfriend. placing a kiss on his lips you smiled at him, “you’re cute.”

you linked arms with your boyfriend as you continued to walk down the sidewalk. you noticed how the moonlight hit his face and caused his eyes to twinkle. the reflection of the light making them appear a galaxy larger than the milky way. before you could look away san caught you staring.

he raised an eyebrow. “do i have food on my face?”

you smiled fondly, “no.”

“then what is it?” he asked, pouting.

“nothing.” it was everything.

no proof, not much. but you saw enough.

you two decided it was getting late and headed back to the car. however the night was still young so you decided to drive wherever the wind took you that night. you talked about your parents and summer plans. you shared embarssing stories from high school. you two talked for hours, driving to no where. small talk, he drives.

“there! finally!” you gasp, pointing to a small cafe that seemed to be open at midnight.

coffee at midnight.

“are you sure? it’s really late.” san said.

“i want coffee...” you pleaded while tugging on his shirt sleeve as he drove.

san rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot.

you finally got the coffee you’d be craving all night and the two of you decided to walk across the street to the lookout point. you were in the hills, far from home, in a nice dress, but neither of you cared.

you sat on the railing as there was on immediate drop off and looked at the stars. san pointed out his favorite constellations and you listened even thought you didn’t know shit about astronomy. the light reflects the chain on your neck.

the air was cold against your skin and san has offered you his jacket but you refused. he gets cold easily and you didn’t want to be a burden even though you knew he wanted you to be comfortable. you looked down at your fingers and played with the ring you had on. you thought about life and how mysterious it was that you’d found san when you needed him the most.

you didn’t notice when san had gone silent but he had. you continued to look down at your empty coffee cup resting in your hands when you hear your boyfriend inhale.

he says, “look up.”

and your shoulders brush.

you look up at him and he stares back at you with his clear brown eyes and smiles.

no proof, one touch. but you felt enough.

as soon as he smiled at you, you felt it. that same feeling you’e felt for weeks.

you drove home in tranquil silence with nothing but the radio playing and the sound of the wind coming in through the windows. your chest tightened but you felt freer than you ever had before.

you can hear it in the silence. you can feel it on the way home. you can see it with the lights out.

you’re in love. true love.

that feeling was love. you hadn’t realized it before but when san looked at you, that’s what you felt. that feeling. that aching feeling deep inside your chest, begging to be let out. it was love. you were in love.

the next morning you woke up at san’s place to the smell of burnt toast. morning, his place.

“morning sleepy head.” san said as he placed a plate of burnt toast in front of you. burnt toast, sunday. “i tried my best...” he smiled sheepishly.

“it’s okay, it looks.... yummy.” you faked a smile and giggled, biting into the charred piece of toast.

“i was thinking we could go to the park today? there’s a new lookout i wanna go see...” san suggested.

you nodded with you mouth full. “mhph... sowunds goodf...”

san smiled at you, “chew first, talk second clown.”

you swatted at his arm and he playfully returned it. this action resulted in a 10 minutes game of tag around the house that left both of you breathless.

“truce... t-truce...” san breathed heavily.

you nodded, wiping sweat off your forehead.

you were wearing san’s shirt but he insisted you keep it because he kept your button, so you did just that.

you keep his shirt.

“only! only if you promise to keep my button forever and ever.” you said kissing his cheek.

“of course. forever and ever my love.” he replied and turned his head to catch your lips in his.

you smiled into the sweet kiss and pet his soft hair.

he keeps his word.

you felt your worries and insecurities melt away whenever he kissed you. it’s like nothing else mattered, like you were the only two people in the world.

and for once you let go, of your fears and your ghosts. one step, not much. but it said enough.

you neared the park and you felt the cool breeze hit your skin. it was a very blue, peaceful day outside and your favorite thing to do with san was just walk. you two walked everywhere together. the store, the shops, the bookstore, everywhere within walking distance. there was something personal about walking on the sidewalk. it was calming.

you and san passed a tree with initals carved into it and he suggested you do the same.

“san, what if we get arrest for vandilization of wildlife!” you said playfully.

san picked up a sharp looking stick, “don’t worry, i’ll be subtle.

san carved your intials into the tree followed by the date and a heart.

“perfect. look.” san stepped back proudly and you both admired his work.

“lovely, it’s cute.” you said, admiring the tree initals along with your curly haired boyfriend.

san stepped towards you and grabbed your hips, pulling you into a swift kiss. your hands wrapped around his neck instinctively and he smiled. you were too short to reach otherwise so you had to step on your tip-toes to reach his lips. it wasn’t a chore and san thought it was adorable. you nudged his nose and he looked down at you with a twinkle in his eye. it was your turned to smile at him as you pulled away and simply hugged him in the middle of the sidewalk. never wanting to let go.

you kissed on sidewalks.

it had been a particularly long and hard day and if it couldn’t get any worse a text from san pops up on your phone.

love: hey, i’m gonna have to cancel tonight. something came up :(

you: oh.. what is it?

love: it’s nothing. don’t worry about it

you: great. okay.

love: i told you it’s nothing, stop being like that.

you: san. you cancel every other weekend because “something came up.” if you’re cheating, just fucking tell me.

san: are you kidding me?!? i cant believe you. i’d never do that and you know it. you KNOW IT.

you: whatever san. go fuck her, i dont care.

san: fine.

you fight.

it had been days since either you or san had spoken to or seen each other. you laid in your bed and began to cry for the second time that day. the same question replaying over and over in your mind: was he really cheating on you? your last relationship had ended the same way and you were devastated, your heart couldn’t take any more. you were tired of being lied to and decided to go to san’s apartment to get to the bottom of it.

just as you grabbed the handle of your door and opened it, a tired looking san was standing in front of you, poised to knock.

“what are you doing here?” you asked.

“same reason you were leaving. i wanted to talk.” he said and pushed past you into the apartment.

“san wh-“

he cut you off. “please let me talk... please.”

he looked tired and you nodded.

“the reason why i keep flaking lately is because... my mom is sick....” san said, tears threatening to spill.

you instantly felt regret for everything you said. you rushed over to him and wrapped him in a hug. you began to cry yourself as you mumbled apologies.

“oh baby i’m so sorry.... i feel like a horrible person.” you cried into his shoulder as he rubbed your back. “w-why didn’t you tell me? i want to help, sannie, please.”

he wiped a tear off your cheek and smiled sadly at yoy, “i didn’t want to bother you, you already had so much going on with work... i’m the one who’s sorry.”

you smiled at him and kissed his lips, closing your eyes and sighing. “i missed you so much.”

san kissed you again, deeper this time, and reiterated your words. “i missed you too.”

and you talk.

you were sleeping soundly next to san but he couldn’t say the same. he laid in bed, playing with your soft hair. for some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling that you meant more to him then he realized. it wasn’t until your fight that it was confirmed. he hated being away from you, he cared for you too much to be apart for more than a few days. almost losing you proved that he needed you. he needed you for survival.

san laid there eyes glued to your bare back and he contemplated whether or not he should wake you. but he did.

you felt a tap on your back and turned over sleepily to face a very awake san staring at you. his eyebrows were knitted together, almost like he was in deep thought.

one night, he wakes. strange look on his face.

“sannie...?” you said, sleep coursing through your voice.

san says nothing, he only reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of your face.

he opens his mouth to speak, pauses, then says, “you’re my best friend.”

and you knew what it was, he is in love.

“you felt it too...” you say, reaching up grab his hand that rested on your cheek.

he nods.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

you both smile happily and fall asleep again facing each other.