#i think it also doesnt help that like. ok yeah i know what triggered it this time

[hremail24]

tbh i need new methods of helping my anxiety that arent ~deep breathing~ and ~meditating~ like doing those & reminding myself its just a panic attack literally don't help. i've had chest pain since Yesterday this shit is so annoying

[importantwh1spers]

The last of season 2 episode 2 thoughts and feelings

SPOILERS GUYS SPOILERS FOR GAME AND S2EP2

Holy fuck I'm shaking

Wow ok wow

Ok so

Major changes from the game to the episode.

Firstly, we have more reminders of why Abby is doing what she's doing and it's repeated a lot at the beginning, and then again when she kills Joel.

I don't like this

I think it's so unnecessary, and I think it honestly would have been better if tv audiences didn't know why Abby did what she did until later on, as it is in the game. It gets rid of this whole layer, and so many feelings as an audience member. It immediately justifies abby, and honestly I think it's better when you do hate her (major clarifying here, THE CHARACTER ABBY, not Kaitlyn Denver or Laura Bailey, THE CHARACTER)

you feel this rage when you don't know why she's done what she's done, this horror at how aggressively and brutally she kills Joel, and the lack of explanation makes you feel all these things that you just dont feel watching the tv series now, because it's been explained to you about 3 times why Abby killed him, in detail.

So yeah, the explanations over and over again weren't for me, but I can also maybe understand why that choice was made.

When the last of us games originally came out, actress Laura Bailey got SO much hate and stuff for playing Abby and for playing someone who killed Joel and maybe they didn't want that to translate over to the series with Kaitlyn Denver.

The fact that she's immediately justified and you can sort of be like "in her position I'd do the same" right from the get go helps make sure the same issue doesnt happen again with tv audiences as it did with some players. But with the games you start of feeling all these negative feelings towards the character, and then she slowly wins you back when you begin to undertsand why she did what she did and then you end up sympathising with her and liking her. Also I don't want this to be confused with justification for the hate. I do not condone any of the shit that went down with the last of us 2 (game) to do with abby or anything else. But because that all happened, it makes me understand why they made the choice they did with the series, in hopes that you wouldn't yet again have more assholes sending hate towards actors and creators.

So I can understand the choice, but yeah I definitely preferred the story telling of not knowing until much later.

In regards to the changes with Dina going with Joel and Jessie and Ellie going on patrol. Mostly just why?

Where they that desperate to not have the scene between Dina and Ellie in Eugene's old hide out? They could still have went on patrol together?? Yeah don't understand this choice at all and didn't like it. Also that scene had so much character building between Dina and Ellie, with Ellie admitting her bitemark and the two of them bonding. Sucks that we missed out on all of that.

In regards to the change with the hoard coming for Jackson. I liked this much more than other changes in this episode. It gave a reason for Tommy to be remaining at Jackson which makes things less complicated for later on in the series. It also was just insanely cool like hello?

The cordiceps travelling through the pipes and it getting triggered as a reason the horde don't follow abby, dina and Joel all the way back to the lodge? Excellent story telling. Tommy's fight with the bloater? Brilliant. HE HAD A FLAME THROWER CMON.

Bella Ramsays acting in this episode, especially at **that** part, PHENOMINAL OUT OF THIS WORLD INCREDIBLE OH ME OH MY. Yeah genuinely can't understand how people don't think they're the perfect Ellie, they are. And this proves it.

Little things;

ASHELY JOHNSON IS THAT YOU POOKIE, ugh her voice and that song were a perfect end to that episode.

Enjoyed the homage to the bong gas mask in the game.

I enjoyed ellies interaction with Jessie at the beginning of the episode, stuck pretty loyally to the game and eased that tension. Making the shit that happens later hit that much harder.

Overall - 7/10

It's still great TV, I just feel like some changes take it a step down and I can't help but compare it to the games when they're so outrightly different in these regards.

[luneemeritus]

://

Trigger warning for chronically online cringe discourse over fictional characters I guess

I'm not even famous and there are people trying to cancel me here. For my Hellaverse mutuals and friends, if you ever see people saying that I condone harrassment against Alastor fans or people that shipp Husk/Alastor, please know it's bullshit. I never harrassed anyone over fictional characters or shipps and I don't condone it either. I admit I had a beef against Alastor fans some months ago and honestly? That was also bullshit, there's nothing wrong with liking Alastor or shipping him with anyone. Personally I don't like shipping him but that's just me.

Also. I never said Vox was a straight man. I never said his color had to do with his sexuality, it's incredible how people take things out of context without any remorse, this was my post. Calling me biphobic for things that I've never said is ridiculous. I've also been accused of acephobia, which is also not true. I'm pretty sure I said some dumb shit about "respecting aroace characters by not shipping them" in the past and I cringe a lot by remembering it lol. If anything, I'm not acephobic and I don't care about shipping Alastor. End of story. Still on the dumb accusation things, I've been accused of... *sighs* being okay with whitewashing Imps. Which, I dont even know what to respond except. Be fucking serious. Be fucking serious. No really. Be fucking serious. How can you seriously accuse someone of defending "whitewashing" (of fictional races btw) for NO REASON. No really. If you want to hate me, okay, I'm fine with that. But you dont fucking know me lol stop pretending you do.

And to finish the chronically online bullshit, proshipping discourse aaaaah Goddess help me. Just to be clear. I'm not against shipping/pro shipping, and again, I dont condone harrassment, but I have "creepy proshippers dni" in my profile, specifically about pedo and incest apologists, like real apologists (not people that understood the difference between ficton and reality, actual apologists), some creepy ones that I've encountered on Twitter and I dont to engage with them because I'M uncomfortable with their content. Simple. I don't hate people that are proshippers and I know actual proshipping means shipp and let shipp (no problem with that). This is why I specifically putted pedo and incest APOLOGISTS. Not people that like media and are okay with shipping, I'm talking about APOLOGISTS that genuinely defend real life crimes disguised as "proshipping" (if you never encountered one of those, good for you, but unfortunately I've seen some). And also SA (example = Valangel, ok if you like it, I dont, I dont want to see it, this is why the tags are filtired and I always block❤️ I love to block❤️) because it just crosses my limit. It's a topic I don't wanna see being shipped even in fiction. If you think I'm not allowed to have limits, then I'm afraid that's not my problem. I will repeat again because it seems that people cant understand, I DON'T CONDONE HARRASSMENT. I'm not anti shipping, I dont care about proshippers following me. And to be clear: when I say I love monsters, I mean literal monsters. Monsterfucker. Eldritch creature. Ever heard of that? Yeah I like it. That's me. Being a monsterfucker doesnt mean I want to see pedo/incest shit or that I don't have fucking boundaries. Ugh 🙄

And now some serious stuff that crosses the chronically online bullshit and comes to real life problems: I never falsely accused people of being SWERFS. I listen to what sex workers are saying, unlike some other people (x, x, x, x). I literally NEVER said Angel Dust shouldn't leave SW, wtf, aknowledging there are other ways to represent sex workers (ex: showing Angel's work before Valentino on a compassonate light, or showing other sex workers with different experiences, like Ozzie's employees for example) isnt accusing anyone of being a SWERF. Just for you know, there are different types of SW that arent prostitution or porn. Just saying. Angel is a fictional character, many narratives can be written with him. And as we know he is a sexual person that likes naughty stuff, if he ever tried different types of SW that were safer and good for him, great. If he doesnt and just wants to leave, great too. I don't control what the show writters will do to him and I don't want to. I literally NEVER, EVER, accused someone of being a SWERF for wanting Angel to leave Val and his industry. What a ridiculous thing to claim, seriously. I have also matured a lot about this topic and I'm more careful with the things I say, I think some of you should do the same before making shit up about me. Saying some takes about Angel and his relationship with his own sexuality and SW can be rooted in swerf rhetoric if you're uneducated about the topic isn't saying "if you want Angel to leave his work duel to his TRAUMA you're a mean swerf". Fucking christ. That's like. Basic interpretation. No, Viv isnt a fucking swerf and I never accused her of being one. I literally defended her when she was accused of hating sex workers. Please be fucking serious 🙄

I'm only making this because private DMs were leaked with intention of shaming me. I'm not doing anything wrong to anyone, I'm literally chilling on my own. If you don't have a single true thing to say about me, shut the fuck up I guess, how about that. Funny how I'm being accused of "condoning harrassment" by people that were leaking private messages, lying about me and making shit up about me to be mad at. I'm not even relevant wtf is wrong with you guys, chill. Imagine being so angry for harmless cringe shit you disagree with that you accuse someone you dont know of terrible things in public. I don't condone harrassment, I'm not biphobic or acephobic, I dont hate proshippers, and I never accused people of being swerfs because of either Angel should or shouldnt leave his work. Leave me alone ❤️

I'm typing this trembling of anxiety because I've been working all day and could only write this to defend myself now. Holy shit.

[draw-you-coward]

yeah maybe you reblogged that thing like 2 days ago but I'm going slow right now so if you still want to do the character ask thing, maybe mr Aloth Pillars of Eternity?

ogh im just happy to get one! lol

First impression: he's just a sweet lil lad. a sweet boy.. he seems so nice and shy and somewhat pathetic... i take pity on the lil squishy wizord in deadfire: damn aloth's old and cynical now lmAO

Impression now: this is tough bc i've slooowly started replaying deadfire and i forget most of my impression of him 🤔 I remember thinking that he makes a lot of very funny snarky comments and I liked how they gave him nervous stims esp with his hands. he just seems so done with all the bullshit and i feel that. I do wish he still had some of that sweet ladness left under all that cynicism though... but I think Rake thinks it's a little sexy

Favorite moment: bruh he propositioned Rake in the bathhouse literal seconds before tekehu did... i've been wanting to write a fic about it. besides that, there was a bit in the first game where rake failed a str check and aloth also failed a str check to help him and dislocated his shoulder and I just thought it was so sweet :-) so little rng things i guess... although i do like the comment he makes after you kill the memory monster in the wael dlc

Idea for a story: ok ok u know how i do like. vignettes. well i've been wanting to replay deadfire and sloowly make a fic abt their relationship? starting with the first time they enter the bathhouse maybe ahaha it'll be more playful in tone. my writing's improved a lot since i started the rake series and I still think about one comment I got that said they were so glad i was writing because barely anyone else did male watcher/aloth... 💀 i wrote like. three things and i still feel guilty about it sometimes

Unpopular opinion: oo boy! i feel like i stay so far away from fandom that i dont know what anyone thinks anyways LOL. ig just a general thing for me which is I'm not really a fan of romance? shippy stuff kinda gives me the ick 😅 For characters like aloth (esp bc i. dont like men lmao) I'm mostly drawn to their vibes and personality, and I really liked his whole wizard deal plus iselmyr and the abusive dad backstory ; i feel like there's a LOT of potential to dive into how that affects him that no one really explores

Favorite relationship: with edér :)) just two good ol boys. i like how theyre pals

Favorite headcanon: oo i dont really make these for characters esp if I like canon. i guess i'd like to further expand on how iselmyr functions for him, esp since in game it doesnt seem to follow specific rules or guidelines. does she come out when he's triggered? does she come out just to yell at me for friendly fire or to be upset when my unkillable ghost dog dies? how did he learn to function well in combat if she delivers attacks sometimes ("i dinnae con the spellybooks" girledfriend then woter u doing here? 😔) i guess i'd headcanon that there'd be a learning curve, esp since his first instinct was to fight/suppress her 🤔

from here pls feel free to send me more i love attention

[buffa-z]

ep 1 liveblog

the music in this show is so fucking good

they set keiwa tf up the first episode too plus she would be better as a girl

i forget her fans call her "neon-chan". also she doesnt know how to interact with fans at all.

sara the wage worker lesbian ok

THE ARENA WALL IS BARBED WIRE I NEVER NOTICED THAT

the jamato already have language by the first episode

michinagas hair is GREASY

jamato kill civilians with spears brutally ok

neon immediately pinching keiwa when keiwa asks if its a dream

BUFFA IS THE ONE WHO SAVES THEM. BECAUSE THEYRE STILL CIVILIANS.

hes so fucking good at fighting FIRST EXPLOSION TURNAROUND LETS GO

shiro has no trigger discipline with that crossbow

ACE STILL IN THE LOUNGE UGH KILL HIM

girori hates him badly. i cant say i disagree but our reasons probably differ

victors coin. drop it in a sewer grate idiot

KON!!!!!!! every time kon the fox bike is onscreen i visibly pog in real life

shiro is totally lying about being a hero right. like maybe he is a firefighter but why would buffa lie about him being selfish. plus his subsequent jaw clench after being caught out

michinaga being cryptic as fuck for no reason as the marvel movie ship flies overhead.

shiro gets WASTED i forget how brutal his death is and so sudden too

buffa is in the lead on points up until geats appears for the finale -_-

ace has white void powers that let him win at situations (see him catching neon out of the air- im no physicist but i know damn well accelerated forces dont work like that) and you may be saying well its bc its a tv show he has to catch her YEAH BC HES IN A TV SHOW THATS HIS POWER

michinaga sitting around thinking out loud about ace (+his voice is literally not done deepening at this point)

THEY ALL LOOK SO YOUNG this is truly sickening like they all look like children THEYRE BARELY NOT CHILDREN HALF OF THEM ARE 18

ace has a weird reverb in his voice too

i forget he like fucks with neon and keiwa flirtily and they both take it seriously as if hes talking to them. and hes just grinning about it. very convincing in terms of liking women man i believe you wholeheartedly yeah. sidenote i love how when he knows its the end of the world he just starts saying stuff bc he knows nobody but him will remember. like a time loop that hes gone ng++ in. like returnal. or facade.

oh yeah keiwa is very doomer in this episode like shes miserable at the idea of living her life as normal please just try estrogen just one drop i promise it wont hurt

on the other hand tho this dramatic scene as a whole is so unearned that it is comedy. all this for a world that functionally doesnt change except some dipshit is famous now. which will help him find his mom. even tho allegedly hed already been alive countless times, in the dgp, and either this is his first time trying that strategy or it didnt work the first several times and now hes trying it again. seriously im the crazy one for doubting the 2000 years thing? wait no nvm its time for the

ACE HISTORY FACT COUNTER: 1! Dinosaurs lived and then went extinct millions of years ago

the jamato waiting for him to finish his little speech lmao

fuck if the sound design doesnt suck me clean off TECH NOISE INTO JAZZ YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION MY WALLET AND MY BLADE also i loooove the voice for the belt

SHARPSHOOTER hello miss i cant miss

get that explosion turnaround yupppppppp i know what you are

and he can snipe!

he kissed the boost buckle....

everyone enjoy his time on the bike cuz youre not getting much more of it

buffa just beating jamato like its nothing, looking away, thinking about geats, hes been here before (its his third game)

ACE HISTORY FACT COUNTER: 2! Castles are easier to bring down from the inside

he nearly hits keiwa with the bike?

i forget boost magnum debuts ep 1 seems a little early but i love when its onscreen so

why did she scream when boost magnum appeared?

this is my puppy whom i surf into enemies yupppppp

eye flare with the explosion pack it up michael gay

i forgot the boost buckle does that lol sorry keiwa

keiwa wants a way out of her life but shes not exactly down with the dgp. not that it matters when ace is already won. his bell is ringing. keiwa wakes up in her bed

kekera saw her little freakout there and was like heyyy maybe we can make a rider outta this (in my mind kekera has a new yorker voice in english) lets send tsumuri out. make it a tanuki core. like tha soba!

TSUMURI SHOWING UP ON THE SCAFFOLDING WHERE MICHINAGA IS WORKING LMAO imagine youre at your job site and you cant remember why you really feel like there should be someone next to you and trying to prod that thought any harder makes you want to jump off. and then you look over and someone is actually there and she has all your memories in a little anarchocapitalist box. i would honestly freak out in that situation but he plays it so cool ["just who are you?"]

TSUMURI IN THE CAT CAFE TO MEET NEON I FORGOT. HOW LOVELY. i wondered why tsumuri looked so joyous when she doesnt know neon yet but literally she got to go to a cat cafe

"welcome.... to my world." he says with his little winner banner on and his stupid coin DUDE FUCK YOURSELF he always always always flips heads isnt that interesting

"the moment you receive a driver and id core its a one way trip" oh buddy you dont even know

[f0point5]

Ok, this is not f1 related, but I neeeeedd to talk to someone abou this. So naturally I picked tumblr ...

I feel like people my age (mid 20s) have life (more) figured out (than me).

And I mean job, love life - this sort of stuff

Its starting to be triggering

So my q is: what s your take on this and how are you doing/making plans for the future? (I rwmember at one point you said you quit your job and I think you're dating, so no husband or stuff like that either)

This is really me saying I need validation, but feel free to not be walking on egg shels with your answer

Not me being called out with “no husband” 😂

First, I totally get it. And same. I see people with way more stable, “normal” lives than me and I get triggered and anxious af. Like can’t sleep type anxious.

But at the same time - and this just me I’m not saying it’s you - I don’t look at that life and think “I want that”. I think “oh that would be easier/I would feel more normal/that’s what people expect” but then I know if I woke up as those people I’d be hit with the dissatisfaction of that being my life. And maybe part of me enjoys the fact that as long as I’m not living that life, I still have the possibility of doing something else and not getting pigeonholed into that because I know it’s the “easy” way.

What I want is what I’m working towards, and my path doesn’t look like theirs because I don’t want what they have.

All this to say, if you are looking at people living the life you actually want and think would make you happy, then don’t just watch them, study them and learn from them. But if you’re just looking around and seeing people further along in the game of where people “should” be at your age…waste of time.

And that advice is HEAVY on the love life. Because let me tell you, men are everywhere and they fuck corpses, meaning if you want one you can find one. But wasting time on the wrong person will affect not only your mental health but your physical health. It will drain you emotionally, it will press on your soft spots. And when you finally figure out you’re dating a dumbass you’ll slide right back in terms of “further along” but older and probably out of shape. So neverrrrrr look at your love life as something linear that someone can be further along in. Further along just means in a relationship, but if you wouldn’t date their boyfriend then they’re not really anywhere you want to be.

I don’t believe in “things will happen when they’re meant to” but I do believe that as long as you’re actively working towards what you actually want out of life, measuring yourself against other people is a trap.

And that’s not easy, I know that for sure. But just like they put blinders on horses what they race, you have to just look forward, looking sideways will just blow you off course.

But oof yeah it can be anxiety inducing to think you’re not where you want to be. I’m always just there like “in 20 years I’m not going to be want to be where they are so there’s not point in me worrying about where they are now”. And then I just get back to me. I am not any sort of guru though because I do kind of suffer from chronic lucky girl syndrome 😅 so…I hope this helps but also, I understand if it doesnt ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[pettydreamz]

i am grateful she called me out. i can admit i was slightly flustered n embarrassed that she finally perceived me, but honestly it's been about time.

i know i would voice my frustration on the blog bc well, this is a VENT BLOG. especially my insecurities, or even my spiralling mental breakdowns.. he..he..he ^^;;. but everyone should know i was going to voice them to her one way or another. everyone knows about pacing, timing, when people are ready for it. but yall forced it to happen, ig thats ok. who knows maybe i would've waited forever. but i dont think so. but whatevs ig.

this is my vent blog, like how many ppl have as well. this is i mean well TUMBLR lol. like how i respect everyone elses blog even all of hers.

i know i am insecure but who isnt. it's clearly v obvious i am. but it's never her fault, i do feel bad i cant get over it and that she can be a triggering factor to it. but it's never like i hate you type of shit. i just hate the person i can be, thats not her fault.

i am allowed to have these feelings, it's never having malice-intent (although ik it can come off as extreme hater-ade). i vent. the spur of the moment. i put all my feelings that i feel at the time. i calm down, and assess. thats why i let all my dramatics out so i can be the understanding side come out with her. bc she doesnt need that insecure side of me that im working on. she doesnt need that burdensome energy. thats why unfortunately i release that fucked up side of me on this blog. so i can try be the true friend and person i need to be for her. maybe sounds like a shit excuse but hey, thats what i think n feel. how other ppl are allowed to as well. just sorry mine can come off as fucked up n shady. but i've never tried to hide my bitchiness, ppl know i am. but to the sweet ppl they dont deserve that side of me, only if im done wrong than maybeeeee.

pls have a good day lol, it's ok if yall cant understand me. it's not your job to understand the stupid shit i say bc a lot of the time, same lol. this blog represents the nitty gritty dark thoughts of my mind, so ytf would wanna try understand it ;3 you're not my therapist, tho i should get one. but if yall read enough of shit yall should know why i havent been interested for it as of rn. i have other priorities. and im just not ready for that type of help yet, sorry.

im genuinely concerned about the ppl that follow me. you ok..? also any of you guys uncomfortable with this blog pls, from the bottom of my heart… fuck off. like no ill-intent with that but i do talk about concerning n sensitive topics. and i am again sorry to my bsf, i truly am. but yeah to some followers, you need to unfollow if my blog is not for you. and if you wanna stick it out, dont say i didn't warn you this time. but yeah hey welcome to the chaos of my mind. i didn't think i needed to say some of this shit but ig yeah i didn't need to post this at all… but this my blog n im delusional ;3;

sorry

[1goatman1]

I WILL TRY??? IM SO BAD AT ARTICULATING MY FEELINGS AND IM RUNNING ON NO SLEEP BUT HERE WE GO MY THOUGHTS ON FUUTA it got a bit long so. under the cut

the thing that drew me to him (and got me into milgram as a whole) in the first place was the fact that his songs go absolutely insanely hard. and theyre exactly my taste in music

hes an angry little guy and i am drawn to angry characters like a moth to a fucking flame, i have NO idea why, its facinating to me

hes red KJASDHFKJHASGDFKHJ my fav colour....

i think the fact that. i can SEE I CAN SO SEE HOW HE IS WHEN HES IN A GOOD MINDSET. because i dont think EVEN IN BRING IT ON hes in a good mindset i think hes in a not great place in bring it on he just doesnt really realise/acknowledge it. but i can SEE how he would be when happy and the fact we never really see that makes me insane

that paired with the fact that That Happens in trial 2 and we see him so broken and so so afraid which is SO unlike him hes usually hiding his fear behind 100 layers of anger like in his first voice drama it just did something to me and now i have like this primal urge to protect him KJHASGDFKJA

ive always been drawn to characters that deflect/bottle up like crazy

that being said hes also like a feral dog to me and he makes me a feral dog when i see him

he had ISSUES growing up with his parents (dad) which im normal over

HES A LITTLE BROTHER????? i go insane.

im repeating my points but he hides everything behind layers of anger because he thinks that makes him look stronger and it makes him FEEL tougher but really hes terrified

like hes an adult(not really) hes 20 and if i was like 15 when i got into milgram id be like yeah ok hes an adult hes a bit like. thats a weird way for an adult to act ngl even if i am a sucker for the angry characters. but the fact im HIS AGE puts him more as a kid in my eyes because lets be real 20 is still super young. and the whole. hiding his fear behind anger thting is just SUCH a child thing to do to me and i think that just makes me want to protect him MORE

that paired with the fact in the trial 2 interrogation he says the person he wants to see the most is his MOTHER???????? and iirc he says it using a really childish uhh dialect(? idk the word) im insane. hes just a boy in way over his head help me

he also says he just wants something to rely on AUUUUU I CAN HELP HIM I CAN MAKE HIM BETTER I JUST KNOW ITTTTT

my love for him is a healthy mix between wanting to protect/help him, relating to him just a little, and him just being like. if you got every character i ever liked and made the "perfect" character for me it would be fuuta SJFHGSAKDFGASJKD

all that being said i love love love how nice he becomes to mahiru after kotoko happens. trauma bonding frfr. im so excited (scared) to see his reaction to uh. That. in trial 3

WITH SHIDOU TOO i think T3 shidou + mahiru will break him a little bit which will just make me wanna help him even more

hes SO SO NICE BUT LIKE. DOESNT SHOW IT???? in t1 interrogation he says harukas young so he takes care of him (plus when he completely 180s on that in trial 2, AUGH im hurt), + what i just talked about with mahiru, hes really actually nice but he just. puts on a front so it doesnt look it.

i also think hes not actually THAT uhh aggressive with like. "people who do bad things are scum" i think he just played it up to fit in with his friends and then at some point he forgot he was playing it up if that makes sense.

playing off of THAT i have like 0 evidence for this but i know in my heart he didnt really have any friends at uni and when he started to kinda become friends with the group from bring it on he like changed himself to fit perfectly with them and it backfired horribly i just KNOW IT i have NO EVIDENCE but it HAPPENED TRUST ME . and that makes me insane also

anyways. im repeating the same points over and over so.

oh i think hes adorable too cant forget that. pretty boy

and he triggers my cuteness aggression like no one else does okay im done now JKHSGFDJKASDFA

Guys, please help me out, I wanna see something here!

If possible, can you guys tell me your favourite Milgram prisoners and list out all the reasons why you love love love love love them so much, as many and detailed as you can? (Appearance features that stand out to you; Personality; Character Quirks; etc etc. Everything you can think of!!!)

Thank you so much! 🙇✨

[adhbabey]

hope its ok im responding to ur post abt paych critical! it is so relatable! there are lots of things i appreciate abt the psych critical/antipsych community & movement but i also like. dont understand why in the world so many ppl are like overwhelmingly against therapy. obv it doesnt work for everyone! ik its not available or accessible for everyone! but its such a vast & varied field and such an adaptable thing that like. i don’t think i’ll ever get why ppl direct their anger towards those of us who *do* benefit from therapy or find it a useful tool for recovery. yknow. what good does infighting do!!! who does that serve!! this has turned into shouting into the void a little bit, sorry about that

Yeah it's fine. Honestly I'm pretty anti psych about a lot of things, like the fact that people are abused or mistreated in medical situations and that people are forced to take medication, have their rights stripped away, etc.

And I, too, hate that people call their partners by words taken from disorders. Like, you shouldn't call people "narcissistic" or "psychotic" as an insult. Pathologicizing abusers is just really fucking harmful and stupid. The whole thing is misunderstanding why those words exist in the first place and just scapegoating mentally ill people.

But this doesn't mean words like dissociation, triggers, panic attack, depression, manipulation, gaslighting, etc. don't have their purpose and it doesn't mean everyone is misusing them. And it is just stupid to assume everyone is, and that's the problem with some people who are anti-psych.

Some people view professional help and medical terms and diagnoses as bad, and it just makes them sound like the people they disagree with. I'm psych critical, not against helpful tools and professional treatment. They should be used with consent and with autonomy. Removing and gatekeeping information and resources is what's bad.

I'm extremely pro-self diagnosis. Partly because I am psych critical and partly because I think we have the intelligence to figure things out for ourselves. That crazy people aren't too crazy to know that they are "crazy". That we have the ability to recognize the fact that something is wrong.

Self diagnosing people aren't stupid for taking medical knowledge and applying it to themselves, they're not pathologicizing all human experiences, and I think that people who argue that are dumb.

So like. There is a middle ground that people aren't noticing, because they lean too heavily to one side. I can't function without medication, but I'm terrified of being institutionalized and my family is somewhat ableist, so I struggle to find an option to get help. I think most people on the internet have found themselves in similar situations.

So like, the whole "stop pathologizing human experience" and that people say "the tiktokification of the internet is bad", like bitch, we all loved Vine. The whole thing is just missing the understanding that people are striving for accessibility and education, not whoever the fuck that takes it too far.

So yeah, thanks for sending an ask to let me talk about this more. Therapy does not solve all your problems, especially if your therapist is not the right one. But it's something people should still try and seek. Maybe it's helpful, maybe it's not.

But the fact of the matter is, is that people are literally just using terms to understand their experiences. Sometimes they'll take it too far, but there is a middle ground. There will always be normal and reasonable opinions within it, we should listen.

[tiredtboy]

also maybe if i was visibly worse hed stop fucking. yknow what!! rant time.

ok so this mf vented to me almost every second lesson during the class we shared right? and thats fine!! we're friends!! i want to help! yeah, some of this probably needs to be left to yknow. his boyfriend. but still. hes obviously not saying everything. anyway. move on one day we are having a MUTUAL DISCUSSION about transgender shit. so i just sort of drop in like. i dont know if i'll ever transition i doubt i'll ever get to and everything feels kinda hopeless yknow. fucker looks at me, registers, then doesnt acknowledge it and just starts talking about how him and his bf are gonna move in together after he gets away from his fam and theyre going to transition together. so uh. thanks!!! thanks for not acknowledging a word i just said and then say exactly how youre going to solve our mutual issue, in a way that i will never be able to. i dont have a loving boyfriend whos family is supportive. i have no one. that hurt like i havent been able to see him the same way since that, it just felt cruel.

then another time, i guess he just fucking thinks theres nothing wrong in my life. which is where the thing im complaining about came from. hes going on about how this one girl kept like showing of her sh scars to him which was so bad because who just talks about such a triggering topic to people! then immediately starts talking about it to me about how hes in recovery for it and it was soo triggering and like. ok so i get your point but. you are just doing the exact same thing she was. i dont want to hear about this. it makes me want to go cut myself like its genuinely a good thing id stopped bringing razors to school at that point

also he outed me to his transphobic mum without my permission and acted like he'd done me a huge favour <3 because 'oh shes supportive as long as its not me' hoe what. what the fuck do you think i WANTED THAT???? now i have to desperately keep my parents away from ever interacting with his mum, because he got found out recently and i know people whos parents outed other kids as punishment for corrupting their special little girl.

so yeah rant over. apart from that we had a great friendship and his boyfriend is one of my best friends. but yknow. fuck him. some things are just a dealbreaker for me and i dont know why i let the outing thing specifically slide for a whole year. i just felt so sick to the stomach whenever i thought about it. i didnt want that. but ive never mentioned it and i cant fucking criticise him because then i might be responsible for him hurting himself and it might ruin my friendship with his boyfriend. yup.

also i just dont think he has boundaries in general because why are you telling me private things about your boyfriends dysphoria. you should not be telling me that. have you been telling other people anything ive ever mentioned??? it makes me feel sick.

is it shitty that my ex friend triggers me sooooo fucking much disclaimer he doesnt know we arent friends im just fucking mad at him about a few things that for me ruined an otherwise fine friendship that make me feel like a petty cunt

[holycrimin]

It hurts to love.

Karl heisenberg x male!reader

Tags: Hanahaki and angst

SFW

(Note: In this au, none of the main events happen with ethan, as he is not in this story. Also SPOILER WARNING.)

(Warning: probably shitty plot, but i'm trying my best ok)

[Your pov]

It all started a year or two ago, when mother miranda had found me lurking around the village. As i was not a local, she deemed me suspicous. However, before she had the chance to kill me, She had a spark in her eye. As if she had an idea. And before i knew it she was using me as some sort of vessel for her daughter, Eva. Although i am a male, she had seen something special in me apparently. I had also found out that her daughter had passed away and she was determined to bring her back.

It failed.

The experiment... failed.

I was no longer deemed useful.

She had proposed me two options. become a servant or assistant to one of the lords, or die. A slow, and painful death.

Of course I chose to be an assistant.

She was kind enough to let me choose who to work for, thankfully.

Lady dimitrescu was very much intimidating. And from what I've heard, if you mess up even just a little while working for her, you will be sent to the dungeons. Never to be seen again. And she isnt really fond of men, so I wont be choosing her.

Next up was Donna Beneviento. She was nice, although her doll 'Angie' is a little... how do I say this... creepy. It doesnt help that i have a huge fear of mannequins and dolls, so I dont think i'll be choosing her anytime soon.

And then theres Salvatore Moreau, dont get me wrong he's a great guy but.. he might accidentally drown me. I might be overreacting, but the guy smells. Although, I feel bad that he's treated so poorly by the other Lords, but i think it's for the best if i stay away from him.

And.. i guess my only option left is Lord Heisenberg. I just hope that he wont be that much of a hassle, even if he IS kind of an asshole...

A day before i start working at the factory, Mother Miranda forced us to spend the day together. To 'get to know eachother' I assume.

Lord Heisenberg looked pissed off, he wasn't really fond of me. He was more pissed off at Mother miranda though. Most likely because he was forced to spend time with me. I quickly learned what he called the 'basics of him'. Basically, common facts. Such as, the fact that he can bend metal and his deep hatred for Mother Miranda. that was basically all that he told me.

The following day was my first day at the factory. As we were walking along the factory, he stopped in his tracks. "Listen pup, there's rules." He practically growled. "First of all, Don't touch my shit. Second of all, don't go around the factory without me knowing. And third of all, Don't try to get to know me, we're keeping a proffessional relationship, got it?" He said.

"Uh.. y-yes Lord Heisenberg." I very nervously stammered, lightly blushing at the nickname he gave me.

"Good, now let's get to work."

Present day

That was around a year or two ago, and while i have gotten closer to the other lords, i never managed to get to get close to Lord Heisenberg. And..

I'm an idiot who fell for him... And... I know he'll never feel the same way. I've tried getting his attention, impressing him, but... nothing's working. Every time i try to get close to him, wether it's emotionally or physically. I get pushed away, literally and figuratively.

It's my fault really. I fell inlove with a man who was emotionally closed off. His charisma, his voice, everything about him just makes me fall more and more inlove with him.

I know i wont have a chance, hell, i dont even know if he's into guys... Guess i really am an idiot, huh?

Later that day, Lord Heisenberg asked me to help him with something. I agreed of course, and during that time I tried to know him more. "Jesus christ, are you trying to get me to open up or something? Cause' that's not gonna happen, so give it up." He spat out, "a-ah... sorry Lord Heisenberg.." I stammered out.

A few minutes of silence pass. Suddenly, he grabbed my hands. "I- ugh.. Just- you're doing it wrong. Here, let me help." He said, while holding my hands 'teaching me how to do it right'.

Of course my face started heating up, the feeling of his slightly roughed up hands on mine... it feels nice. Although this is probably the only time i'll ever get close to him.

"Hey pet, you ok? Geez, you're practically as red as a tomato." He said, while still holding my hands. "Uh.. y-yeah..! Uhm... i.. i'm good.." i stuttered, feeling his breath on top of my head. He was bigger and taller than me after all.

"Well, whatever you say, pup." He shrugged as he continued his work. I got a little flustered on the nickname, i never got used to that..

After, he went and ordered me to get supplies fron the duke.

As i was walking along the pathway to the duke, a few lycans were following me. They didnt seem to be attacking, so i just left them alone. However when i reached the duke, the lycans were gone. How strange.

"Well well well, if it isn't Heisenbergs pet! What brings you here, young man?" He says, with a shit eating grin. "Ah.. well, i'm just here for some supplies is al-" i was then cut off with a series of coughs, "Oh my, are you alright?" said the duke, genuinely concerned. "O-oh i'm fine i ju-" i was then cut off by another series of coughs, but just when i stopped, a small white flower petal came out of my mouth.

"Oh dear, i hope this isn't what i think it is... Are you sure you are alright?" Asked the duke. "I.. i dont know," i pause and look at the small flower petal in my hand. "do you know what's happening..?" I questioned him, very much confused. "It may be something called the 'Hanahaki disease'. It was said to just be an urban legend. Where, if you were suffering from unrequited love, you would begin to cough up flower petals." He explained. "I didnt think it was real.." he muttered to himself.

"..." i was silent as i stared in shock and horror, I'm.. coughing up flowers..? Like actual, real flowers...?

From.. unrequited love.... i should've known, i... i should've known that he would never feel the same way.

How could i be so stupid, to think he would fall for a mere mortal like me. Or atleast.. i think i'm mortal. "Well," the duke spoke up, "luckily there are two ways you can get rid of the sickness." My eyes lit up, "the person you like, either loves you back," he continued "or, you can get surgery. Not only will it remove the flowers, it also removes all of your feelings for this particullar person permanently."

"Th-that's great! I can finally get this 'hanahaki' disease while also getting rid of my feelings for him-!"

"Him?" The duke asked as he cut me off, "do you mean Lord Heisenberg?"

"Uh-" as i think about him, i start coughing again. This time, blood was spilling over. And so were many petals. "Oh dear.. so just the mere thought of him triggers it..?" He said, concerned. "Uh... i'll just... take the supplies. Thank you though, duke."

"No problem, stay safe. But remember, the longer you wait around with the flowers still inside you, the worse your state will become." He informs me,

"I'll try to get the surgery as fast as possible duke." I said, waving him goodbye.

As soon as i walked out, those same lycans followed me all the way back to the factory. Strange isn't it? Anyway, when you finally arrived at the factory, supplies in hand, I hear Lord Heisenberg open up the door.

"Here, let me help you with those." He says as he starts taking some of the bags.

"...Why are you being so nice all of a su-sudden?" I stammer as i try to hold in a cough. "Would you rather not have me nice, pup?" he growled. As i opened my mouth to speak, i was interrupted but a fit of coughs. Blood spilt out as did the petals. Heisenberg didn't seem to notice as he was already far ahead.

I try to cover it up as much as i can as i try to catch up with him. "Jeez.. Finally, you caught up-" he cut himself off. "Why is there blood on your face?" He said, slightly concerned. I froze. "Uh.." that was all i could say. "Whatever.." he said as he wiped the blood away from my face. A faint blush spread accross my cheeks.

I excused myself to the bathroom as i felt another fit of coughs. More blood splattered out as well as more petals. God it hurts. I heard a knock on the door. "Hey pet, you've been there a while, you sure you're alright?" He said

"Uh- yeah, i-i'm fine..!" I said, trying to hold in my coughs. "Well just make it quick, we have work to do." "Yes sir..!" I reply back quickly, not wanting to upset him. I quickly cleaned myself up and walked out of the bathroom. "Took you long enough." He sighed, annoyed. He went ahead and grabbed his hammer, dragging it along the metal floors. It was loud enough for him to not hear you cough up more petals.

~later that week~

My condition kept getting worse and worse, to the point i was barely able to breath. I've consulted the duke, however nothing seemed to work. No matter how much medicine, herbs or other medicinal items i jammed into my body, it just won't go away.

I was asked to come over Lady Dimitrescus castle, i'm not exactly sure why. Maybe she heard of this 'hanahaki' disease?

As i make my way to the castle, lycans started to follow me. Even more than before, why was this happening?

I finally arrive at the castle, the lycans seem to be watching me very carefully. I hear the doors open, and out came a tall lady. "Ah, Y/N! I'm glad you came! Come in." She said, holding the door open for me.

I walked in and was immediately tackled with a hug. "Uncle Y/N! You came!" Exclamed Daniela, one of Lady Dimitrescus daughters. "Oh, uh... hello Daniela." I say, hugging back. I never imagined them to warm up to me. "Now now Daniela, me and your Uncle Y/N have something to discuss."

"Aww man... well, i'll see you around Uncle Y/N!" She waved goodbye to me. "I'll see you around, Daniela." I say as i wave back. As soon as her footsteps were no longer in range, i spoke up. "So.. what did you want to talk about..?" I carefully asked the tall woman, not wanting to be sliced to bits. "Well, as i said before, the duke has informed me of something related to your wellbeing."

"So... you've heard about this.. 'hanahaki' disease, i assume...?" I say as i tense up even more. "The duke told me about it, and when i asked why he was informing me about this, he simply stated it had something to do with you. So tell me, do you have it?" She asked me with a concerned expression.

"W-well.. I-.." i say, sighing. "Yes, as far as i know." I reply, not wanting to lie to her. "As much as i dislike that wretched man, Heisenberg, i must ask, is he the object of your affection?" I froze. "Well... uh-" i cut myself off as i break into a fit of coughs growing more and more violent than the last. "Oh dear- MAIDS!" She called out, panicking, as blood and petals fall out of my mouth. She patted my back as i continue to cough. "So... it is Heisenberg.. I am terribly sorry Y/N i did not know this would happen.." she said, apologetically.

"I-it's alright-" i break into another fit of coughs. But instead of petals, this time, there were fully grown flowers. "i.. i can't b-breath.." i say almost blacking out. The last thing i see and hear are the maids, Lady Dimitrescu shouting to get the duke, and the door opening to reveal... Lord Heisenberg..? "Goddammit, out of my way-!" Was the last thing i heard before blacking out.

•

•

°

.

.....

I woke up to the duke. I sat upright, "what... happ-" i was then cut off by the duke. "You're awake! Honestly, i.. didnt know if you would wake up.." he said sadly. "Thankfully, i was able to patch you up just fine. And after days and hours of research, i finally found an alternative to your hanahaki!" The duke said, switching from a sad, to a cheerful mood.

My eyes light up, "W-wait, really!?" I said as a smile creeps up on my face. The duke gives me a small bottle, "Here, take this. Free of charge!" He said as he smiles brightly. "Now, you should drink it as soon as possible. Lord Heisenberg is waiting for you outside."

"I will, thank you duke!" I said as i waved him goodbye. As I walked to the gates, I take the small bottle and drink it. Within seconds, the flowers were gone. I could finally breath again!

Walking out with a small smile, I saw Lord Heisenberg. "Oh, hey-!.. uh.. i mean, hey. You're awake, lets... get back to the factory..." he stammered out.

..

Was it just me, or were there tears on his face..?

The walk to the factory was silent, but as we walk up to the factory gates, he stops dead in his tracks. "Before we go in, I just uh.. wanted to let you know that the duke let me know about how you really felt about me." He said. "And.. after a long time of thinking about it.." he cuts himself off as his cheeks turn red,

"...I like you too." He confesses.

But,

I don't feel any different.

I don't have butterflies in my stomach.

I don't even feel my face heating up.

It was like...

I was never inlove with him in the first place.

"I... I'm sorry, Lord Heisenberg... but.. I dont feel the same way anymore. I think... it was that small bottle the duke gave me, but.. I am sorry, i don't feel the same way." "W-wait.. you're.. you're joking, right...?" I watch as his expression goes from flustered to heartbreak. "..." i grow silent.

"Let's... let's get inside... we'll catch a cold if we don't." I say, opening the doors to the factory, not wanting the situation to get more awkward. "...Y... yeah... just, gimme a minute.." he says as his voice was slightly shaking. "Alright.. just... please be quick, you'll get a cold." I said, walking in and closing the door on him.

[Heisenbergs pov]

"I... I'm sorry, Lord Heisenberg... but.. I dont feel the same way anymore. I think... it was that small bottle the duke gave me, but.. I am sorry, i don't feel the same way."

"W-wait.. you're.. you're joking, right...?" I say with my voice slightly shaking. Dammit.. god... fucking...

DAMMIT...!

Just when i thought i finally found the love of my life, he's stripped away from me.

"..." he was silent.

I could feel the heartbreak slowly filling me up.

"Let's... let's get inside... we'll catch a cold if we don't."

"...Y... yeah... just, gimme a minute.." i stammer while i try not to break down infront of him.

"Alright.. just... please be quick, you'll get a cold." He says, as he walks in and shuts the door. Heh.. it's cute how he still worries about me when..

Nevermind.

I need some time to thi-

My thoughts were interrupted when i started to violently cough. What i didn't expect though...

Was a flower petal.

"..."

"Heh..."

"So this is what he felt." I said, as i look at the bloody flower petal in my hand.

[save-the-spiral]

PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

[arsynical]

OK SO.

pro endo (endo system itself i think) and anti misinfo but says traumagenic systems work the exact same as endogenic. fuck yourself<3

anti loli and shota but is lolita....whar.

pro para but constantly rants about how much shi wants to get rid of them constantly. when people offer help he turns it down because "oh thatll make it worse." YOU HAVE A PARAPHILIC DISORDER HEALING IS ACCEPTING YOURSELF AND FINDING ALTERNATIVES NOT MAGICKING IT AWAY YOU FUCKER. also says all this in general para chats, not the vents. adding /nav doesnt make it not a vent when it very clearly is fuckass.

also the way they talk about it is comparable to how homophobes talk about conversion therapy. lol.

says he has aspd and then holds people to hir own moral standards??? what??????

is constantly really passive aggressive and borderline manipulative when anyone shares their pronouns.page cause it was made by an islamophobe. like yeah thats really shitty but its also pretty much the best resource we have so (not so) kindly shut the fuck up<3

the thing that set this off was him replying to my kin rentry with

adding /lh doesnt make it /lh.......fuckass. and then kept talking about the ins and outs of its trigger about it. i thought you avoid thinking about triggers????

(ignore the list restarts here pff) semi regularly causes at least me to narc crash (yeah thats my problem but as a fellow narc try to fucking care) by saying something i did or said was misinfo or discriminatory when shi hirself was misinformed.

similar to the last one, attacks someone for having a problematic spin and does so with all completely false information while claiming to be anti misinfo (throwback to point 1 about the endo stuff)

i think thats all for now but. ill add more when i get it cause i know there will be. fuck you<33

oh yeah lmfao im supposed to feel sympathy when someone i dont like tells me something i mentioned is a trigger for them not annoyance and narc crash....lmao

[lavenderek]

Why were you disappointed by the Howl's Moving Castle movie? I think I read the book years ago, but I don't remember much about it

i'm gonna critique the gibbly movie and it's my understanding that it's a special movie for a lot of people so if that's you feel free to skip this one

so i was delighted and enchanted by the book, which has only twice to date not made the movie a devastating letdown, so my dear friend sending me this book was pretty much signing a contract in her own blood accepting that i would be cranky about the movie. i'm not really a ghibli person either, like i can appreciate the artistry and value in them, and i'll watch it if the people i'm with really need to watch princess mononoke or whatever, but i just don't go out of my way to watch them. (i like reading meta about spirited away, though.)

i did go out of my way to watch this one because i loved the book so much.

it's important to remember the culture in which the movie was made as opposed to the culture in which the book was made. howl is welsh, if that says anything to you. (his name is howell, and he adopted the name howl to run from himself and seem more magical. i love him and movie howl had none of those elements except for when he told us he was a coward and i was like. ok lol, i'll jot that down because i didn't see it in the text)

so i'm not necessarily surprised by the creative changes they made, but i am confused, because those changes drastically affect the characterization, the character motivations, and the pacing of the story.

(i also was only able to get my hands on the dub and i loathe and detest christian bale as howl lmfao but that's subjective)

so first of all, does movie sophie, like, want anything? she's flawless as a character. even though she has a completely different personality as an old lady than she does as a young lady, there's nothing wrong with her. everybody is fond of her, she's shy, she's gentle, she's beautiful, and she's kind, and her only motivation in the whole movie is this vague desire to cure the curse, but even then she doesn't work on it much at all. her life before howl is about being buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, and her life after howl is about being buffeted around like a cow in a twister. sophie in the movie is a blank slate. she is insecure about her looks (seriously, they couldn't even give her like a crooked nose or something, only doll-faced, thin, pale women over here), and her confessing this and crying about it for about four seconds was the first truly deep emotional response i had seen of her. i cried when she cried, who doesn't grapple with feelings of inadequacy? then the kid came out and she was like, okay, i'm done being upset now :)

second of all, howl is a little eccentric, but mostly he's just a glorious gentleman who has a messy room and one (1) overly dramatic depressive episode. it was disturbing to me as a viewer because it was violent and came out of nowhere, and it never comes back again lmao. it was so bizarre, he's introduced as this suave, debonair man in a cape, and he stays that way the entire movie, except for a weird moment in the middle where he screams at sophie naked and then lists the character flaws that we the viewers have never witnessed. why does he like sophie? why does sophie like him?

why did they turn michael into a child? i just don't see what that added to the story lmao. i get them taking out the complexity of secrets involving sophie's decidedly interchangeable sisters and their mystery beaus, it's a lot to fit into a little movie; but like, why did they turn him into a child though lmao

there's a lot of fatphobia in the movie too.

the change that upset me the most, though, was that the element of sophie having the ability to influence things without her knowledge was totally abandoned. like i said, things just sort of happen to her. in the book, her hats are the most lovely because she's inadvertently cast spells on them to make whoever wears them seem alluring or mysterious to people. the witch curses her because she recognizes these little spells and believes sophie's trying and failing to trick her (and also because sophie snaps at her lmao, why is movie sophie only an asshole when she's old? leave my daughter alone).

book sophie unknowingly protects howl by worrying over his cape (which she previously shredded because she got mad at him, i love her), she unknowingly enchants the scarecrow by helping it stand and complimenting it. she does that the entire book. she also starts the book already feeling sort of dull and trapped, and spends the story trying desperately to solve mysteries and protect loved ones. movie sophie doesn't like, sit around and knit demurely, don't get me wrong; but all the major plot points are things that howl makes happen to her lol.

i think the scarecrow is an excellent representation of book sophie's inner struggles. it's something she inadvertently enchanted, and she doesn't understand it, so she runs from it. she's terrified of the thing. in that way it kind of stands in for her own agency: only when she was forcibly in disguise did she feel free to find out what she wants her life to look like, and that kind of power is foreign and frightening to her. i loved that for her.

and very late in the book, howl reveals that he knew all along she was under a spell, that he tried to get rid of it out of curiosity (book howl doesn't seem to notice that he's just as imperious and nosy as sophie is), but she resisted it. he couldn't get the spell off. so he assumed she wanted to stay that way and let her be about it. so basically it's very huck finn on the raft, she realizes that in running to get away, she was already away. she had that agency all along.

all of that was missing from movie sophie. the idea of her inadvertently hanging on to the curse is still there, we see that she sort of fades back to her young self while she's asleep (not the case in the book, we know this because howl doesn't know what she looks like until she turns back in the end); but she doesn't seem to gain any knowledge about herself because of this. the only time she seems to have any personal drive, it's to learn about and help howl. her inner struggles are about howl. and i hated movie howl lmao, i hated his design and i hated his voice and i hated how like, patronizing he was to everyone around him. book howl was a condescending dick at times and just weird and distant at others, but he never came across like he was absolutely positive he was seducing sophie at any given moment. it was clear that he was the star of the movie and sophie was just the audience stand in to be like 🤩🥸🧐

the scarecrow who is a prince was the most hilariously egregious moment in the entire movie. in the book, the missing prince is introduced as a plot in the beginning and is referenced repeatedly throughout. and he's a major player in the climax. in the movie, it's the last like five minutes of the film and the scarecrow turns into a dapper boy with bread for hair and is like, "you've cured me! i'm a prince who went missing from a nearby kingdom and i was cursed but now i'm free." and i was like NICE, so we just found out there's a nearby kingdom that has a prince who's been missing. love that for us

the book had a lot of themes that i don't often encounter in fantasy novels - themes of female agency, of disguise, and of chaos. the chaos is my favorite part, every chapter is equally chaotic at various levels. you'll have michael fretting over some spell, sophie fretting over her own spell, howl trying to get someone in disguise to fall in love with him, THAT someone pining over michael, and all the while sophie and howl are bickering because she is cleaning (it seems like she cleans to clean up her mind) and he doesnt want her to (he is afraid of change and of reality), and he needs a huge favor of her, and she needs to wheedle out of it, and she promised calcifer she would free him, and calcifer is repeatedly promising to die of not being appreciated enough, and everybody is having three arguments at once. it's like that in every chapter, culminating in the moment howl and sophie realize they're in love, and they stand clasping hands and sort of smiling at each other in the middle of a room full of panicking and perplexed people just yelling over each other lmfao. surrounded by chaos and no longer thrown by it, rooted there in the middle of it, stabilizing each other in a way. i loved that. i actually flipped back a few pages so i could read that moment again.

and it seemed to me that the movie tried to imply that with visual chaos, but everything else was really quite linear and simple. everything was very airy. and since the conflama and the general atmosphere and character dynamics of the book is what made me fall in love with it, the movie didn't work for me.

tumblr user door pointed out that the book and the movie are extremely different and she appreciates them both as separate entities, and she's wise and correct; i knew this and i tried so hard to engage with the movie on its own terms. but i couldn't divorce them in my mind. i felt the same way about ella enchanted and practical magic. i cant stop thinking like, i wish they hadn't gotten rid of x, i wish they hadn't added this weird element of y.

also it was boring. i checked to see how much more was left three times. sorry. i can't express enough how little i cared about the plot with the witch and somebody's secretly evil boss and time traveling to yell at howl or something, because i didn't connect with the characters. and the feathers growing out of howl triggered my weird phobia about things being embedded in skin. i'm skeeved just remembering it.

anyway, yeah. the movie was beautifully animated and whatever atmosphere they were going for was pretty consistent throughout. oh and i LOVED calcifer. he was my favorite in both the book and the movie. in fact, he was the only character in the movie who they didn't really change, he was petty and bitchy in both versions. i loved him. he's like, "SHE FED ME SOMETHING YUCKY" my perfect, horrible boy.

oh and. book sophie was a redhead. that's all.

after i finished the book i tried to draw how imagined them:

couldn't finish it though, i wasn't super jazzed about how it was coming out.

she's sitting in like, a window well altering a coat of his without permission. and he's like, i guess i'll have to wear this one instead, and she's like, i guess you will

[maariarogers]

random plot bunnies from my seojun x sujin brainrot on a fic that i might?? or may not write. based primarily from k-drama, following the webtoon plotline:

so, this is set in the future, maybe about five years in?? so theyre all 25 years old at this point and seojun’s a well-established idol (singer)

seojun’s nutritionist provided by the agency is going to resign because she's six-months in into her pregnancy and wanted to focus on raising her children

seojun feels a little disheartened at this point; a lot of the time, being an idol, the few constant things he could rely on was the same faces of the team that took care of him - because in other aspects of his career, he has to meet new people a lot, and his scene and environment changes so much

so this was lowkey a blow for seojun, who just wants every sense of familiarity, regardless how little, to sorta stay?? the same??

but he can’t really have much say on it too, because a lot of the team members who took care of him which he has are provided by the agency, and he knows the agency will be doing placements for that too

but then his nutritionist sorta knows he’s a lil sad (she’s become like a surrogate older sister for him) and she’s like, “i have someone in my mind. she’s... a little rough around the edges. she’s been through a lot. but - she has a good heart. like you.” the nutritionist smiles, “i think the both of you could get along well!”

so the new nutrionist? that’s our badass girl, kang sujin.

now sujin has already known that her senior wanted her to replace the position for han seojun’s nutrionist because her senior trusted her to do a good job, but sujin’s a bit queasy about the entire arrangement if she’s honest

she wants to say no, but her senior has always been supportive and strict in ways that’s got her shaped up to her best ability, and she just didn’t have the heart to say “no” in the end

so on the day they met, seojun recognised sujin immediately, and sujin, at first, pretended that she’s only met seojun for the first time

seojun consecutively tries to trigger some sort of reaction in sujin, but she deflects pretty well? every time he tries to confront her, she’s like “hi mr. han seojun” and “what can i do for you today?”

even during their private sessions while sujin goes over seojun’s daily food and nutrition intakes and adjusting new set of schedules for him, sujin’s all serious. she’s gotten close to snapping at him - but then she quickly just, “noooo :) im not mad :) what do u mean”

after a while, seojun sorta lets it go and focuses back on training

his team is planning a tour, maybe even concerts outside korea, and seojun’s lowkey scared because even though he’s toured and flown to various countries to perform at this point, he still has the anxiety

he wants to be so good to his fans, wants to do his best now that he’s come so far to the point he essentially sacrifices a chance at a relatively ordinary life

but then, he starts overworking too

seojun’s never been the best dancer, you know; he could always make up for it with singing, but he still?? doesnt feel like it’s enough???

and then one day sujin just comes barging in at his apartment, mad, because seojun’s had a fever and couldn’t train for two days now and turns out?? he hasn’t really been eating as much as he should, or he’s not drinking as much as he should

that was the first time sujin showed any sense of familiarity from their high school days

she gave him a good whip, talks to his doctors, and adjusts his diet according to his schedules and for the next week, she sorta comes quite frequently to make sure even when he’s training, he’s doing okay

seojun comments that she’s “scarier” than his last nutrionist, and sujin’s like, “good. it means you’ll listen to me.”

one day, he starts asking her to stay just a while instead of just leaving, which she always does, and he’s like “have a beer. what, you have a strict diet too?” and sujin reluctantly stays? even tho she’s awkward and quiet

finally seojun’s like, “why did u pretend u didn’t recognise me?”

and sujin’s just.... “didn’t you hate me?” referring to what she did to jugyeong (implying the k-drama events i assume?? but imma keep this vague as hell) and she just, “i did something horrible to the girl you love.”

and because this is seojun, esp their dynamics dkjhksdhf, he’s just straight up, “yeah. you were a bitch.” because to him, that was the facts, you know

sujin sorta stays quiet, but then she puts the beer down and like?? “i don’t have to explain anything to you.” but seojun’s like!!!!! thats not what he meant!!! and hes just, “hey no! sit. you just started relaxing, right?”

but after a minute he comments under his breath, “i didn’t know you were this sensitive.”

but then sujin quietly replied, “she was my friend. i loved her too.”

and that sorta got the two of them quiet, but then seojun decided to change the topic because its Its_Too_Awkward.jpeg, “last i heard u were gonna be a doctor. your dad’s professor Kang right? he treated my mom.”

and that sorta??? causes sujin to tense up, but then she deflects with a snappish, “why are you so interested in me?” “i’m not! i’m just asking questions.” “i should be asking you questions - why the hell did you think it was a good idea to pull the shit u did now that your touring schedule is in the talks? how are you supposed to perform if you can’t even stand?” “aish, didn’t you already nag me?” “you’re so stupid, i’m scared you’ve forgetten”

they started bickering again but that night was really what triggered for sujin to be a little more relaxed with seojun, and for seojun to sorta - try a bit harder to?? not be friendlier, no, but he likes that he’s known her from an era in his life where he didn’t have to always be a face in the screen.

more and more, seojun asks sujin to stay and have dinner after she’s done evaluating his weekly meals and they have a better comradeship

he starts anticipating her more when she comes to evaluate another idol or something at the agency and he’s just!!!!!!! “you’re here? why are you here? did u miss me already? what do u mean i’m not the only one you’re treating”

and then slowly we also found out why she didn’t become a doctor (she didn’t wanna follow her dad; and she still carries the guilt of what she did to jugyeong and admitted, more than the result of her father’s anger, she likes the version of her who always wants to help others - and, she can memorises easily, so... nutritionist didn’t seem bad)

sujin starts bringing in board games or sometimes she sneaks a few of supermarket-brand goods since seojun’s been behaving with his meals and vitamin intakes, and the one time seojun’s invited to a tv show where it has quizes, she tutors him the whole night so he “doesnt make a fool out of himself”

she also starts to keep up with whatever show he’s in, and she’s always texting him that she’s watched him with this horrible washed-out screenshot because she takes the photo on her laptop with her phone. and her texts are all “the dance was good” and “you’ve improved that move huh” and then sometimes “idiot. why did u answer like that”

sujin makes fun of her for not being able to take a clean screenshot, but he never really leaves her un-replied

and they started talking about relationships - how they were both so enamoured with suho and jugyeong respectively, and for sujin specially, how she can’t wait to be loved by someone who can make her feel like suho’s not a big deal at all

but then she admits she doesn’t think she deserves to be loved, and sorta has this sad smile, and seojun confesses that he’s scared if he loves someone, he has to lose them due to his career

and they’re really sad about it, but the night also isn’t as bad cause they had each other

and ok i have a LOT more i think - and i honestly dk how nutritionist actually works BUT. yes. them.

[haywitchhay]

Long post warning:

This is elaborating on the strange feeling or what I was calling "pokes" from my last post. I spent a few weeks, idk maybe 3, ignoring the feeling and eliminating all mundane possibilities before jumping into thinking it was a spirit trying to get my attention. I finally started the give in that this may be spirit so this morning, since I had some time, I set out to find some answers. I cleansed my space and cast a circle. Then I asked my *unnasigned/ community* pendulum if this indeed was a spirit trying to get my attention. The answer was yes. I continued as follows:

Is this one of my spirits? -no

Does this spirit wish me any harm or ill intent?- no

Is this spirit capable of communicating telepathically? Yes

Is this spirit honest and trustworthy? Yes

Should I approach with caution anyway? Yes *I ask this question as a red flag trigger question cuz ill always approach with caution when I dont know them and if the pendulum says no then i assume they are a tricky type of spirit*

From here I was finished with the pendulum. I reached out with my mind for my spirits, F, Iz, P and E to be sure they would have my back just in case. The response came from F "we are here hun. Never far away. E is still outside but ready to come at a moments notice. We will help you if you need." I'm so grateful for them ❤

So I begin to meditate and invite spirit to say something. Let them know that im here to listen. Eventually I get that weird feeling in the back of my skull that I get when having a telepathic conversation, so I say "hello, im *your favorite witchy cowgirl* how can I help you?"

.... hello.. my name is *R*, I have another but it doesnt translate..

"Ok *R*, nice to meet you, what can I do for you? I'm sorry it took so long to contact you"

.. its about time I was waiting forever..

"I'm sorry, I had to be sure and then i also have to keep my practice secret so i had to wait for the right time to attempt this."

... i understand..i was just curious. I was wandering around and noticed your energy and that there were other spirits here. I wanted to learn more..

"Oh yes, those are my companions."

..companions?..

"Yeah, im what some call a 'spirit keeper'. It isn't what is sounds like though, they are here of their own free will and are free to leave if they ever choose to without any hard feelings. I may be sad or miss them but they are their own beings and get to decide things for themselves. They are in my 'keep' because they choose to be and I do my best to take care of them. I give them offerings and spend time with them, as a group as well as individually."

...interesting. ive never known much of companionship. I was exiled from my realm for being a vigilante.. have been a nomad since..

"Sorta like batman?"

..i dont know who that is but I did crimes in the name of justice..

"So would you say you're somewhat chaotic but in a good way?"

... yes I like to cause mayhem but not for no reason.. ive been on many adventures..

"Very interesting. What are you, if I may ask?"

.. i am a lowland elf. My kind is much taller than yours. I have long dark hair, pale skin and my eyes are the color of grass..

"You sound beautiful. What about me caught your attention?"

.. your energy is different.. not like most of the other humans ive passed by.

"Different in a good way i hope"

.. yes not bad..

"Were you interested in companionship?"

...maybe.. i would probably want to roam as i have for so long. But its been a long time since I had a home..

"Well you seem nice. You're welcome to visit whenever you want so long as you don't disturb anyone."

.. thats very kind..

"What are things you like or like to do?"

.. i like justice and dark colored rocks. Or crystals that bring out the truth. The truth is the pinnacle of justice. I also like to forage, since my exile foraging has been my only way of survival...

"Thats cool. Ive been really interested in foraging for a long time. But im afraid that if I have nothing to give back I will upset the plant spirits."

.. you dont have to leave something for every thing you take, unless maybe in a sacred area. As long as you don't take all of something and you give thanks and respect they will not be upset. They know its their purpose and their part in the circle of life. Things live and die so that others can live and die. Give when you can and don't be greedy...

"That really inspires me to go out and forage more!"

.. great.

"Take some time to think about companionship. If you want a home and a place to come back to when you're done with an adventure dont be afraid to say so. Im pretty open to telepathy but if im out doing something you might have to get really loud to get my attention. We can bind our energies together so you'll always know where to find me. I will make you a place among the others where you can commune with us and rest, if you so choose."

..thank you. I will consider. Im not to sure I would want to be in one place for so long but I do get tired of being lonely and my work unappreciated...

"Well like I said you can do as you please. And around here we love a good vigilante. It'll be nice having someone to help me bring justice to those that try to wrong me."

*at this point my dog starts whining to go outside*

"I have to go now to take care of my animals. I appreciate talking with you and you being patient. I hope to talk to you again sometime soon."

.. likewise, farewell...

With that i closed my circle and started my morning choring. The *pokes* have ceased now so I know that wasn't in my head lol! I do hope he comes back. I get the impression that even though he's a tough vigilante that under that hes very kind and soft.