#i think it might be the weather getting nice & sunny here but i’ve been in a good mood today

[readingbythestreetlights]

i’m in a weird interim state right now where like, i really want us to win, duh, but i’m also just kind of enjoying the inevitable collapse because the alternative is us still collapsing but me being sad.

[pedgito]

need me some slow, romantic, maybe a little rough, sex with our baby boy boyfriend tom pls (only if you feel so inclined)

author's note: this is just...yeah. we can all dream.

cw: 18+ (minors dni) established relationship, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, face slapping/grabbing, the soft rough sex i’ve ever written

word count: 3.7k

Tom's voice is muffled in the valley of your breasts, still covered by the frilly lace of your bra. Your shirt is shoved to the side, along with most of his clothes, both of you having haphazardly undressed, too eager to touch one another, skin to skin.

He's been planning for a week, trying to get everything just right, all the small details - setting the mood, as he calls it - all for it to end up crumbling as soon as he woke up that morning.

The restaurant he'd made reservations at? Closed. The sunny, bright weather he had expected? Overshadowed and overcasted by rain. He even called off today—which was quickly ruined by a phone call begging him to fill in for a sudden no-show. He's been running on empty most of the afternoon into the evening and by the time you step foot into his caravan you can see it.

He's done. So utterly done that he can't even think of an apology. But, he doesn't need one.

There was this outstanding expectation that he needed to get your one year anniversary perfect, a fear of dropping the ball and disappointing you, that you might find some reason to leave him.

Everyone left him; that wasn't a secret. It's why he's secluded himself away here. He wasn't unhappy, it was nice here—but things could be better.

You shush his apologies as he speaks against your chest, hands running a fury of waves along your skin, up your side and down toward your thigh, hooking your leg over his hip and widening his legs, rubbing his cock against your middle, finding him as hard as you'd expected.

He's begging for it—to be with you, to have his way with you.

"God, really fuckin' need you," He sighs, lips dragging along your collarbone and toward your clavicle, trailing until he reaches your lips, pulling you into a deep, searing kiss, "you look beautiful."

"I've got no makeup on and I ran over here after my shower," You respond, a giggle in the back of your throat, "I'm in my pajamas, christ—Tom, are you alright?"

"Tried to make things perfect for you," He admits, pulling back slightly to look at you, the low light of his trailer and the television screen in the corner of the room illuminating his face, the soft cupid bow of his lips jutting out as he pouts, "didn't even cook you a proper dinner."

"We can eat later," You assure him, even though it's nearing close to ten and the only place open was a twenty minute drive, "I'll cook or something, it's not a big deal."

"You deserve it." Tom says sternly, brow furrowing in response to your carefree attitude. "This sucks, doesn't it?"

"It'd be a lot less sucky if you'd fuck me," You respond bluntly, "had a long day, don't care about the fuckin' food. I just want you."

"Yeah?" His eyes light up—you were the remedy to it all.

"Need you," You say softly, pulling at his shirt, fingers fisting into the ends until you can yank it over his head, "want you inside me."

"But, I wanted to—"

"Tom, for my sanity," Your eyebrows raise in annoyance, begging him to skip the sweet gesture of going down on you—as much as you enjoyed it, you'd much rather have his cock inside you, "please?"

Now, preferably.

He's got enough sense to pull your underwear off, rather than push them aside. Most of the time, it's fumbling, rushed quickies between shifts because you're both too insatiable to avoid each other and Tom's too impatient to get you fully undressed.

He's not surprised that you're already wet, his cock springing free from his own underwear as he navigates it down his hips and off, settling between your legs again with a soft nudge to the line of your cunt, the head of his cock pressing gently, catching your clit.

You grumble, a quiet noise that Tom otherwise wouldn't hear if it weren't for how still the air was outside, aside from the occasional howl out in the distance. He gets the idea though, wasting no more time to press inside you.

The fit is tight, a little resistant at first, a result of your impatience. A slow rock of Tom's hips does the trick, easing inside of you like home and your collective sighs filling the air.

He's got his hands locked under your knees, rubbing at the sensitive skin in the joint there as he holds them close to his body, a little higher than his hips so the angle feels deeper, more intense. Your open palm presses against his chest, fingers dragging against the thin patch of hair in the center, catching on the silver pendant hanging around his neck.

"S'this what you needed?" Tom asks, a warmness to his voice that only came in moments like these, rough around the edges from the strain his pleasure held on him.

You nod eagerly, a small gasp leaving your mouth as he folds you in more, angling his hips deeper. He opts for his hands pressed into the sheets on either side of you, your legs still secured tightly around him. You clench, an involuntary action caused by the quick switch in position, his cock hitting some deep spot inside you that makes you want to curl in on yourself.

"Oh, fuck," Tom curses, eyes falling shut for a brief moment before flicking up toward you, "love, we talked about that."

You're lost, drowning in the high of your own pleasure, so much so that his words don't even register, nodding absently in an attempt to seem coherent. You do it again, a little less on accident as your fingers wrap around his tensed forearms and squeeze, his pace quickening slightly at the tight squeeze of your cunt.

"Hey, you listenin' to me?" Tom asks, a tinge of impatience in his tone.

"Mhm, yeah." You answer idly.

You weren't. At all.

He's got his eyes on you again, contorted in a mix of confusion and frustration as his thrusts slow, a hand coming to reach for you face, chin squeezed between his fingertips as he forces your attention.

"Wanna try that again?" Tom asks, a subtle smirk crossing his features. "S'goin' on with you?"

You shake your head carefully, still caught in his firm grip.

"I'm fine," You insist, "jus' really needed you. This."

And frankly, you wanted to lose yourself a bit. Forget about everything going on, all the stress and worry—be with Tom in this moment and enjoy it. But, he worries, he cares. It takes a moment for it to click, the impish, needy look on your face, begging without saying the words.

Tom didn't often try and get rough. He enjoyed the soft, intense slowness of sex. Two people holding on, grabbing and squeezing and feeling one another. He'd bury his head into the crevice of your neck and listen to the small sounds you made, soft moans and little squeaks of pleasure when he felt his own orgasm approaching, pace quickening until it consumed you both.

Your eyes fall shut, a long sigh on your lips as he leans up, hands returning to your knees and spreading your thighs further apart. There's a soft cry that leaves you, his palms spreading out over your stomach, all warm and calloused, rough from his job and the occasional working out that he did. He squeezes your waist, silently asking you to keep your legs spread open like this, pulling you back against his cock until the force is scooting you up the bed a fraction with every thrust, cries quickly turning into loud, unconstrained moans.

"Look at me." He pleads, crestfallen when you shake your head.

"C—can't," You argue, seeing stars behind your eyelids, "s'too much."

Tom quirks his head slightly, feeling annoyed, selfishly, that he can't have you look at him. He's not one to force or demand or give ultimatums but he needs it. He stops dead in his tracks, sacrificing his own need for release to get what he wants.

You sigh, frustrated, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands.

"M'not asking." He tells you, "I can stop, if we need to."

Your eyes quickly retch open, staring back in bereavement.

"Fucks gotten into you?" You ask, taking a full body glance at the man before you—the man currently seethed inside you. His chest is flushed a deep red, rising and falling quickly. His lips are parted, brow furrowed in annoyance but his eyes still soft. "S'gonna be like that?"

"If it needs to be," Tom counters, shrugging slightly, "—does it?"

You huff, "You're getting teazy, stop it."

Tom laughs at that, a short chuckle through his nose as he moves his hips an inch, settling back into a slow rhythm.

And he almost - almost - believes that you can follow through, but when things settle back into a comfortable pace, you're right back to your previous state, eyes closed in an attempt to block out the distractions, feel him.

He's reaching a boiling point, grabbing your face roughly in an attempt to catch your attention, but when it doesn't, he tries a different method. It's not the first time he's gotten rough, per-say, but it's a far cry from what you're used to—and it isn't until his hand comes down in a sharp slap across your face that you're realizing how much you don't really mind it.

It's not aggressive or harsh, but a solid reminder of what he's asking - no, demanding - of you. And you can see the instant regret on his face when your eyes open, widened slightly at the shock of it all. It's tense, his eyes searching desperately until you can't help but laugh, hands covering your mouth in an attempt to quiet yourself.

"Fuck, that's—sorry," Tom spills out, prying you hands away gently to rub at the spot, face hot from the sting, "that was - too much, wasn't it?"

You shake your head hesitantly, actually thinking it over—Tom was good at making you feel safe, even now, and if you couldn't have a small change in dynamics when it came to sex, then what was the point? And it doesn't snuff the fact that you definitely didn't hate it, at all.

"Do it again?" You asks softly, Tom sharing your confusion and amusement now as his hand pulls back, balls up into a tight fist and unfurls.

"Are you—you're okay with that?" Tom asks.

"You're not trying to hurt me, are you?" You ask assuredly. Tom doesn't waste a second, shaking his head. "Then?"

"But I mean—it does hurt, doesn' it?"

You shrug, "Feels kinda good," You smile, giggling at his quick change in expression, something hiding deep behind his eyes, "you wanna make me feel good, yeah?"

Tom snorts out a short laugh, your cheeky and nefarious behavior easing his worries. "Always."

"So," You start, baring your chin up slightly, heels digging into his ass as you pull him in against you, his thrusts having slowed to a stop again after he's momentary freak out, "do it - again."

Tom grunts softly, forced forward and nearly falling over you in the process. He laughs again, a soft sound as he runs tenderly at your chin bared before him, pulling his hand back gently to give you a soft slap against your cheek.

Your eyes narrow, sighing and resting back fully into your pillow. He didn’t have it in him, clearly—not when he’s being put on the spot. 

“Really, that's all you got?” You say patronizingly, “M’not gonna break, Tom—I’m asking for it.”

He slaps you suddenly, without warning, hair fanning across your face. It’s exhilarating, heart racing in your chest as you gasp, surprised by the sudden strike. There’s an involuntary clench around his cock at the action, that pit in your group igniting again, his hips rocking slowly.

You nod slightly, which is a good a sign as any. His day had been awful, you could see it. It's not like you're asking him to take it out on you—use you in ways you would've never imagine otherwise, but it feels like fair play. You were just as frustrated, if not more, dealing with unruly and inconsiderate people all day.

Usually you would opt toward complaining and venting at one another, not arguing, rather just telling each other about your day - though, vividly and animatedly. But, considering the circumstances, the importance surrounding the day; it felt okay.

He snaps his hips once, roughly, a small yelp escaping you.

Tom smirks, a small chuckle coming from behind his grin.

"You like that?" Tom asks, knowing full well of your answer. He does it once more, timing it with another quick slap to the opposite side of your face.

His eyes light up when your tongue pokes at your cheek, daring him to do more. "Fuck, you're not real, you know that?"

"I'm right here, you fucker," You snark, mouth splitting into a smile when he shakes his head, "yeah, yeah—I get it, Tom."

He's poured his heart out to you more than once, little was left to be said that you didn't already know. Tom truly couldn't believe that you were real some days, a tangible person in front of him, one that often woke up beside him in bed and cuddled into his side, all warm and soft and mumbling to yourself in your sleep.

Tom buries his face into your neck for a brief moment, continuing his sharp, rough thrusts as he fists the fabric beside your head, rutting into you in a way that felt animalistic, the sharp jut of his pubic bone rubbing against your clit, the sound of skin slapping harshly against skin. The comforter had fell to the floor at some point, along with your clothes, and you whine, nails digging into Tom's skin when he hits the perfect point inside of you, his hand shooting to your hip to keep you there, still you.

"Got an idea," He rushes out, sounding breathless, "turn around."

And as argumentative as you like to be, not a word is said. You scramble shifting around until your on your belly, Tom's hand reaching under your thigh to pull your ass upright, the other smoothing down your back until he's got you in a position that pleases him, his hips rocking slowly against your backside, not entering, but nearly.

"You'll tell me if you don't like something, right?" It's a check in, a silent warning that things might reach a boundary you couldn't handle. But, you trusted Tom—you'd repeat it until you were blue in the face.

"I trust you." You respond, it's not what he's looking for.

His hand fists your hair, wrangling your head until the left side of your face is shoved into the mattress, giving you a side glance at him, though it's uncomfortable to make the effort to look. You huff gently, his eyebrows raising in question.

He didn't need to speak.

"Yes—yes, I'll tell you. Of course." You assure him, a surge of pride mirroring his satisfaction as he releases his hold, though lacking the normal gentleness.

"Good, good," He murmurs to himself, a strong grip on your hips as he presses into you, sliding back inside with ease, but his pace is nothing but easy, "stay like that."

You nod, breath hot and wet against the sheets as he holds you at an angle that feels painful - it should feel painful - but it's a dull ache in comparison to how good everything else feels. You cry, throwing caution to the window when you stifle the noise into the sheets, turning your head slightly.

“Hey,” His voice is a warning, tense as he yanks your head back to the side, squeezed between his fingertips as he forces your mouth open, “fuck did I just say, love?”

“Sorry,” You gasp out, garbled by the tight grip he had, “I’m—‘m sorry, Tom.”

He watches you carefully, thrusts deepening and his brow furrowing slightly, feeling you tightening around him, the small inclination that you were getting close.

His thumb catches your bottom lip, rubbing at the softness of it and thinking about how they always taste softly of mint, obsessively reapply your chapstick in fear of chapped lips. It did it’s job, at least.

“Are you?” Tom challenges, thumb slipping past your bottom row of teeth and over your tongue, “Are you really?”

You nod, a needy movement that has you wiggling back against his cock, changing the angle immensely.

Tom groans deeply, switching out his thumb for his pointer and middle, “Suck.” He orders, your mouth closing around his fingers without question.

He watches carefully, mouth parted at the sight because even with him buried inside of you, your mouth still drives him mad. He pulls away after a moment, feeling the wetness was sufficient enough and angles his hand until he can press them against your clit, the sound that escapes you is nothing short of rewarding for him.

“Hey, huh uh,” He chides, “no coming until I say you can.”

“That’s not fuckin’ fair.” You nearly shout, rearing back in an attempt to look at him. The hand not busy working you to the brink fists your hair, forcing you back down into the pillow, allowing Tom to easily overpower you.

“Say the words,” Tom says, “we can stop.”

Just a few simple pleas, a snap of your fingers, it would all be over. Tom would have you back under him, on your back, whispering all the sweetest words he could muster but that’s not what you’re looking for. You can play the game for now, allow him the little fun he seeks from it.

You shake your head stubbornly, gasping inwardly when his fingers speed up, the soft pad of his fingertips swirling over your clit until you’re white knuckling the sheet, gasping on nothing but stale air - and he’s pulling back.

It’s torture. Actual, full on, torture.

He notices you trying to make the effort, eyebrows creased in concentration and annoyance, that ache in your gut growing stronger and stronger until it hurt. But, he’s not as unreadable either, his thrusts faltering slightly as your bodies fall, his front pressed tightly against your back, hot and sweaty bodies molding together.

You can’t be bothered to complain.

His arm is still tucked tight under you, circling your clit gently as you come back down from the near orgasm, stopping every so often until he sees your face relax, another subtle nod his direction.

“God, feel so good around me,” Tom sighs, teeth digging into your shoulder lightly, muffling whatever sounds followed, “fuck—gonna let me come inside, yeah?”

“S’dangerous.” You mumble, still, your mind throwing all precaution to the window.

“Fuck it—let me,” Tom begs, “S’just this once.”

You sigh softly, nodding despite your best interests.

“Don’t worry, love,” Tom assures you, “I’ll go out and buy the pill—s’much as I’d love seeing you like that m’not ready either.”

The heavier his slurs get, the closer he is - that and he’s panting loudly into your skin, broken gasps when you squeeze him just right.

“Gonna let you come,” Tom starts, “but you’ve gotta ask.”

“Tom.” You pout, bottom lip jutting out slightly. He can see it, but barely—the light in the overhead fixture is nearly out of juice, but if he squints, he can see you pretty well.

“Humor me?” Tom asks softly, “Please?”

And if there were any way to bring Tom back into himself, it was you. So, you throw on some of the theatrics for his sake.

“Oh—okay. Fuck, Tom—“ A sharp gasp, hand reaching between you and the sheets to grasp his wrist, the loose and languid circles quickly become a less of that and more determined—now that gasp, it’s genuine, “I’m right there—let me, can I—can I come, please?”

“Yes,” He nods furiously, “please—need to feel you come around my cock, love.”

Tom’s vision nearly whites out and he swears he loses consciousness for a moment, his fingers coming to a stop as he comes soon after, your body still thrumming with the aftershocks while he’s buried deep inside of you, spilling all he had to offer.

He groans long and loud, “Fuckfuck, oh my—please turn over, please—“

It’s clumsy but you manage, the ache in your hips noticeable as you flip over, quickly consumed by Tom’s lips pressed against your skin, like he’s trying to nuzzle into you and make a home. He moans, a soft sound, and it’s endearing.

“Hey, hey—“ You nudge, his head tilting up until you can barely see his eyes, before he’s hiding his face again and continuing his prior actions, mouthing a slow line of open-mouthed kisses along your neck, “Tom, seriously.”

He sighs - like a kid not getting their way.

“You got me all hungry now.” You complain.

Tom chuckles to himself, turning up to rest fully against you, head propped in his open palm, elbow resting in the small gap of your arm and your body. He grips your face gently with his free hand, shaking your face playfully.

“Worked up an appetite, huh?” Tom teases, “Whaddya say, takeout and a movie?”

You giggle softly, leaning your head down to kiss the small sliver of skin that connects his thumb and pointer finger before nodding in response.

“And then a little more of that.” You suggest, his face lighting up at the admission.

“Enjoyed it, didn’t ya?”

Tom really shouldn’t be as excited as he is, but it’s new and thrilling and part of the reason he just can’t enough of you.

“Too much.” You admit freely.

And Tom would take a million bad days if it meant he could have this, with you.

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

[c-c-cherry]

Teru fic??

EDIT?** I've actually posted the full fic that this snippet is from. You'll probably have a more fulfilling time just reading it lol --> Click!

This is a response to the little wip "challenge" I posted a little while ago. Askbox is still open for those! (there's a few I still need to answer too) :)

Sorry this took so long! I wanna say…good choice? Probably because I’m almost done writing this one and then I can move onto editing. Assuming the Area Hysteria people reading this have also read Tenacious Terrain (building on one of the memory flashes involving Ritsu but also works as a standalone fic), this one follows a similar format.

I’ve been treating it as my warm-up to get back into Mob after awhile while simultaneously trying to write for the main AH storyline. But I also think publishing this story first might help with what I want to do later between Reigen and Teru if that makes sense? I think it fills a lot of unspoken gaps that I've really wanted to explore in the hysteriaverse so I've been having a lot of fun getting into it.

I’ll shut up now — here’s a snippy!

***

The pair walked down the street just as the sun started dipping below the trees. Reigen didn’t ask if Teru's parents were waiting for him at home, and he was grateful for it.

Teru usually found himself talking endlessly when going out with Kageyama or even Ritsu, just to fill up the fact that both usually didn’t say much at all. There was no need to do that with someone like Reigen. His energy could silence a room. Teru had seen it with Claw, the way everyone turned and gave him total control back when they first got captured. 

Reigen was evidently powerful in both the psychic world and the business world, but his words alone still poked through the sharpest of swords, more than Teru’s power ever could.

“Mob and I come here if we end up working past dinner,” Reigen held the door open for him, and Teru watched as the man greeted the host as if he knew her. He took off his jacket and gestured for Teru to follow. “This booth has the best view. It’s great while it's raining, but sunny weather will do just fine.”

The man rolled up his white sleeves and sighed in content. Teru attempted to relax his shoulders and calm his heart, pretending he wasn’t having dinner with Reigen Arataka, 21st century’s greatest psychic and Teru’s new temporary boss. Thoughts about what to do with that daunting guardianship form still plagued the back of his mind but he forced himself to push it back further and look up at the approaching waiter.

“No bowl-cut today?” she asked curiously, passing out the menus, “I haven’t seen the two of you come around here in a bit.” 

“Who, Mob?” Reigen chuckled, “The kid’s got a marathon at school to run. I’ve got a few of his friends helping me out.”

Teru melted into the foam booth, letting it press up against his back as the two conversed. It had been awhile since he’d felt this cozy. He wondered if it was the ambience of this place, or Reigen’s mere presence putting him at ease.

“Before I forget,” Reigen rummaged through his briefcase once they had both ordered and pulled out his phone. “I’ll give you my number so we can keep in touch. I might need you earlier or later depending on exorcism appointments. It’ll be nice to have you filed away for when I need you this week.”

Reigen wanted his phone number? Teru stared down at his food piping hot in front of him. He wondered if Reigen would pay for this, too. Based on what Kageyama had said about him, the man would no doubt slip a few bills on the table regardless of whether Teru pulled out his card to cover his half of the bill. Reigen would probably walk him home too while he was at it. 

“Sure, I-” he stuttered, trying to find his voice. This wasn’t like him. Reigen must have known that too, despite barely knowing him at all. The man leaned over and placed his hands up defensively, his rolled sleeves slipping back down and grey jacket discarded beside him.

“Unless you think that’s overstepping. I just like to have everyone’s names on hand. If you aren’t comfortable with it, don’t worry about it. I don’t have to have you on-call all the time like I do with Mob…though it would be pretty helpful for emergency exorcisms…” 

Teru didn’t wait around to hear what else the man was saying. Reigen was so confident, so powerful, so cool, and all Teru wanted to do was impress him. 

Be reliable. He could be reliable. 

Teru pulled out his phone, flipped through his contacts and tried to find the phone number that he still hadn’t memorized after getting a new number a few months back. His father had paid for it, of course. He hadn’t seen his father’s face in years, but the man still paid for everything so long as Teru could forge his signature.

His head went back to those stupid forms in his bag. To think the school had waited this long before asking him to prove his parents’ existence outside of a signature.

“Here,” he pushed his phone over to him, pulling a grin over his face. “I’d be happy to help you out in Kageyama’s stead as much as you need.” He’d even be willing to skip school, maybe never show up at school again if it meant no one would interrogate him about his familial situation. But perhaps that was a different kind of commitment. 

Reigen smiled back, his eyes glowing with satisfaction. “That was quick. Thanks a bunch, Hanaza—"

“—Teruki,” he corrected, before realizing that he’d interrupted Reigen Arataka, 21st Century’s Greatest Psychic and the only adult who had ever asked him for his number to make sure he was around and alright. “Teruki’s fine. Or Teru.”

Reigen snorted, taking his chopsticks and dipping them into his bowl. “Teruki for now. But don’t think you can just go around calling me Arataka…at least, not in front of Ritsu. Sometimes it feels like that kid is just trying to find his footing before pouncing on someone like me.” Reigen’s eyes locked onto him, suddenly serious. “You wouldn’t want to be responsible for a dead man…would you, kid?” 

“Oh,” Teru’s face surely looked stupid, the way it glowed. “No, I would never—”

“Kids these days are so dense! I’m just messing around,” the man snickered back, followed by the slurping of noodles. “Mmmh..this place never fails to amaze my taste buds after such a long day.” He banged on the table softly with his fist. “Well, eat up! Here’s to a very productive first day.”

A thought grazed Teru’s head as he tipped the bowl up to his lips. 

It was a very selfish, self-serving thought. One that accompanied a methodical plan that slowly began to form in the back of his mind. Reigen was a responsible, giving person. He was mystical, busy, a very busy man. He lived here in Seasoning City. If Teru could guess, he was almost at the age of 30—a very responsible age for a very responsible, reliable, busy man. He was a model citizen, really. He even went above and beyond to inspire others around him.

As of this moment, Teru worked alongside Reigen. He had access to his files, which probably contained most of his information if he looked around hard enough for it. Maybe this would finally get the school off his back. 

And who says the man even has to know?

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Melancholia [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Right (@optimistic-nihilist) Center (@vivienvalentino) sent to me via my love (@sadgirlzluvdilfs) Right (@citronplume)

Prompt: Characters both duck for cover under the same tiny storefront when it starts pouring, aka, how the reader met Aaron. Also, the reader is feeling down due to the seasonal changes, and Aaron is there to give her some love and support. 

Category: Hurt/comfort/fluff

Word Count: 6.7K 

Content Warnings: Mentions of mental health (depression and seasonal depression), mention of eating (reader has missed some meals), light drinking, minor language 

A/N: This is another one-shot inspired by @imagining-in-the-margins Meet Cute Writing Challenge and this one is actually a meet-cute! The reader is also a non-BAU member. I’ve been having the seasonal sads, so this is sort of based on my feelings a bit. Given that World Mental Health Day was earlier this week I just want to say that you matter! You are loved, and I am so happy you are here. There is not shame in getting help or just talking to someone. I’m very grateful for my friends on here and my messages are always open. If you liked this story, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you have a great rest of your week - Levi. 

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

_y/f/b_ = your favorite book 

_y/e/c_ = your eye color 

_l/n_ = your last name

_y/b/f_ = your best friend 

_y/b/f’s/n_ = your best friends name 

_y/f/a_ = your favorite artist 

_y/c/f_ = your comfort food. 

y/n checked the weather diligently every morning before she got ready for the day. As someone who had a penchant for keeping up with her favorite aesthetic look, knowing what the weather was going to be for the day was a must. y/n had not planned for a total and utter flood to come down from a sky that was promised to be ‘clear and sunny’ all day. It had started out as just a few drops, but soon it was an unrelenting pelting of water on the pavement. The street offered little cover, and y/n moved more quickly down the road looking for any relief. Finally, she saw it in the small awning of a local bookstore she liked. There was just one small issue, there was already someone standing under the protected space. ‘What the hell,’ y/n thought. She would rather be uncomfortably close to a stranger than continue to get soaked through. At this point the outfit she had picked for the day was a bust anyway, so why not lose a little dignity while she was at it. Thankfully the tall man saw her coming and moved as far to the side as the space allowed. Even with this being the case when y/n slipped under the awning the two of them were standing with their shoulders essentially pressed together.

They avoided looking at each other for a moment due to the awkwardness of their close quarters. However, the feeling passed and the man said in a low tenor voice, “This is some storm we’re having here.” At hearing the man’s smooth, even voice, y/n turned her head his way and actually looked him over for the first time. He was tall, as she had seen before, but now that she was next to him, his height was more noticeable. He was more prepared for the weather than y/n had been, but he was still pretty soggy with his shot hair sticking to his forehead slightly. The man was also fit. y/n could tell from the way his nice clothes sat on his body. The stranger might have been wet, but he was also warm. Standing this close to him, y/n could feel the warmth coming off of him in waves. For a moment _y/n_ wondered if the man was sick, but he didn’t look pale or flushed; he looked perfectly fine as a matter of fact. More than just fine. y/n internally berated herself for thinking that a total stranger was attractive, but she couldn’t help herself. It took y/n a second to realize that she hadn’t yet responded to the man’s comment about the storm and quickly said, “Oh yeah. This is like Biblical or something. Do you think we should start building an arc?” y/n meant to make a joke, and she cringed at her own choice of words even as they came out of her mouth. Thankfully the man made what sounded like a small chuckle or laugh, though in all honestly, it might have just been him letting out a breath. Either way y/n didn’t want to think about it too hard out of embarrassment. 

Hotch watched the young woman move down the soaked sidewalks, her eyes looking for a place to land that wouldn’t mean a bucket of water being poured repeatedly on one's head over and over again like being in the open was. There really only was one place for her to go, and that was next to him under the awning of the bookstore he had hoped to stop in on before heading to Morgan’s. The team was celebrating Emily’s birthday, and even though he had a gift and card for Prentiss, both of which he hoped weren’t ruined by the rain, he had wanted to get her something extra. Prentiss had been going through a lot the last couple of months and he wanted to support her in the little ways he could. The book he had wanted to buy was taunting him from the illuminated window. It was Zadie Smith’s new novel, The Fraud. He had also been hoping to get Jack a new book to read to him at bedtime as well. As much as Aaron liked The Little Prince and the few other stories he often read to Jack before bed, he had to admit that he was slightly sick of them. However, the bookstore had been closed, ‘Due to a family emergency’ the sign on the front door had read.

At that point, the skies had opened and he found refuge under the small awning. Now the woman was near to him, and in another second she was next to him, pressed close due to the limited space offered by the covering. Hotch moved infinitesimally to the left to give them both a bit of breathing room. There was a slight awkwardness to the closeness of their bodies, and Hotch took that moment to look the woman over. She was younger than him, he assumed, and not dressed for the weather. Neither was he really, but at least he had a jacket. The woman must have been freezing, as she looked soaked to the bone and her bare shoulders kept catching water droplets from the leaky awning. For a moment Hotch had the idea of taking off his jacket and giving it to the woman. And then he had the more outrageous thought that if they stood face to face, there would be more space for them to be dry. Aaron quickly swiped the thoughts out of his brain. Internally Aaron thought, ‘God get a grip Hotchner. You sound like someone from a dime store romance novel.’ 

Aaron resisted the urge to sigh at his life at the moment. He was attempting, keyword attempting, to put himself out there more. It had been a few months since Hailey had left him, and he had tried his best to process the loss of his best friend and wife. They were still amicable, and hearing it from her side of things helped Aaron make sense of her choice -- even if it still hurt him. Rossi had been supportive of Aaron trying it out with a few women just to see. None of his attempts so far had been very successful. He was on a few apps and when he matched with people he tended to panic. The idea of having to open up to essentially total strangers never sat right with him. What would he say? “Hey I work for the FBI and I can tell when you’re lying, and I work 70+ hours a week, and I’ll be gone a good deal of the time, and I have more classified secrets than you can guess?”

It all felt a bit overwhelming to him. Not only was it overwhelming, but it was demeaning also. Trying to figure out if he liked a woman based on a few photos and a blurb about their life and experiences just didn’t sit right with him. For a moment he let his mind wander. He wished he could just meet someone naturally, but he knew such occurrences were rare in life, particularly for someone his age. Finally, he pulled himself together and bridged the gap between the woman and him to end the silence lingering between them by saying something about the rain. The woman looked up and over him before responding with a joke. He nearly laughed before responding, “I don’t think we have the time or materials. We might be fated to drown.” His reply caused the woman to laugh, and it was a soft sweet sound, like ice being poured into a crystal glass. The sound was quickly muffled by the rain and the sound of an approaching car. The sidewalk with the awning was very near the street and as the car passed it sloshed a large dirty wave up and around the woman’s legs. The woman said, “Eww” as the extra wetness moved over her body. She stepped back a bit as another car came quickly down the street. Aaron, rather protectively, moved his body in front of the woman taking the splash of water himself. 

y/n didn’t expect the man to move in front of her and as he positioned his body to get wet instead of her, she raised an arm, ever so briefly touching his back. She was going to say, “You don’t have to do that,” but he had already gotten wet and the car was far down the street before she had the thought. The man turned to face her, and they were so close to each other, just an inch or so apart that she could feel his warm breath on her face. Looking up at the handsome man caused her brain to stutter for a moment, and she didn’t even realize that her pupils were beginning to dilate, and there was a small blush blossoming over her face. However, the man did. When y/n had composed herself, she finally said, “Thank you for doing that. You didn’t have to.” The man gave her a small smile and replied, “It’s my pleasure.” He seemed like he was going to say more, but the ping of his phone made him stop. He pulled his iPhone from the pocket of his shirt and seemed to nod at the screen. The man put the phone back where it had come from and then returned his attention to y/n. He asked, “How far are you going in this storm? I’m assuming you’re not planning on standing here forever?” There was a sort of mirth in his expression that made y/n momentarily be warmed from the inside. Being this close to a stranger would normally make y/n uncomfortable, but there was something about this man that was inherently non-threatening. She answered his question honestly saying, “I actually really need to get a move on. I was trying to make it to the subway station on 19th Street. It’s only three blocks down from here.” The man nodded undid one of the inner zippers of his jacket and pulled out a folded copy of the days New York Times. y/n could see a fancy car pull up near them and stall. For one fleeting moment, she had a bad feeling about this man and a waiting car, but it was only a moment as he extended the paper toward her and said, “Sorry it’s not much. Maybe you could hold it over your head while you walk? I have to run myself, but have a good rest of your day.” And with that, the man turned around and walked into the rain. His shoulders were hunched as the water hit him once more, and he half-jogged to the Corvette on the street. She could just barely hear the start of a conversation as the stranger closed the door of the car. Now that she had just a slight cover, y/n placed the paper over her head and moved back onto the wet sidewalk as well. She gave the car one final wave as she ran down the road. 

Rossi pulled up and watched as Aaron stood very close to a woman under an awning taking a beating from the rain. He didn’t have a good chance to see exactly what the woman looked like, but he could tell that she was invested in whatever Aaron was saying to her. Rossi sighed softly. He knew that Hotch often beat himself up about meeting new people. He was also still beating himself up about Hailey. Rossi wished that his friend could see that people, women, were actually interested in him. That they wouldn’t pick apart his every flaw or see the guilt that he felt. Not that the woman Aaron was talking to was ‘the one,’ just that people would care about him if he allowed it to happen. If he was vulnerable. Aaron moved toward the car and opened the door, leaning down to sit in the passenger seat. Rossi turned to Hotch and teasingly said, “Having a nice conversation over there?”  Aaron scoffed and said, “It was fine.” Aaron could hear the deeper jesting tone in Rossi’s words, and he was reminded of how many times Dave had been his hype man like he was in his teens going on his first real date. Aaron didn’t mind it as long as he wasn’t being patronized. For now, it was just a reminder of his own personal failings. Hotch didn’t notice, but as he had gotten into the car, there was a tinge of color on his cheeks; Rossi did. 

y/n never expected to see the good-looking man from the rainstorm again, but as fortune would have it, she did. y/n was out at the park taking a stroll and doing some reading a few weeks later. The weather was much improved and the crisp air was perfect to spend a few hours outside exploring her new surroundings. She’d just moved into the neighborhood a few months ago, and due to her busy work-life balance, she hadn’t really gotten to know the area yet. A coworker had recommended Theodore Rosevelt Island Park as a nice place to spend the afternoon and had promised that it wasn’t super busy or loud. The coworker had been right. The park was beautiful. The sprawling trails offered a variety of scenery. y/n had picked a simple hilly paved trail to just enjoy the weather and the crisp smell of fall. After around an hour of walking, she settled down on the grass and started reading _y/f/b_.  After another hour, y/n felt her eyes growing heavy with sleep, and she sat up to get ready to leave. As she shifted to her feet, a glint of sunlight from the ground caught her attention. She stood and moved three yards over to where she had seen the light coming from. The source was a lost phone whose back-facing camera had caught the light at just the right angle to be seen by y/n.

She picked up the lost item and clicked on the home button. The screen blinked alive. The phone only had ten percent battery left and she wondered if it had been laying out for long or if it being in the sun had drained its power banks. There were five missed calls, three from the same number and two from two separate numbers. y/n assumed that the owner of the phone had gone to separate people in the park and asked to use their phone to call the lost one to see if anyone would pick up. y/n checked and the sound was off, so even that strategy wouldn’t have worked anyway unless someone had found the phone. Otherwise, no one would have heard it go off. As y/n walked back to her spot, trying to think about how to get the lost item back to its owner. While she looking at the little boy who was on the phone’s home screen, it vibrated in her hand with a number with no name attached to it. y/n swiped the answer button and said, “Hello?” There was a small silence on the other side of the line as if whoever had been calling was surprised someone had picked up. Finally, the person, a man, said, “Hey. I lost my phone about a half hour ago and, well you found it. Could I come to you and get it?” The man on the other end sounded slightly breathless. His voice sounded oddly familiar. y/n was sure she had heard it before somewhere but couldn’t place it. y/n responded to the man’s question saying, “I’m on the Drivesdale scenic loop. There’s that big oak tree if you know it. I’m under that tree.” The man replied, “I do know it. I can be there in about ten minutes if you can wait?” y/n nodded and said, “Of course. I’ll be here.”  There was an odd silence before _y/n_ heard a muttered reply on the other end of the line before the phone call ended. 

y/n knew the man the second he rounded the corner in the bend in the path. It was the guy from the day that it was raining buckets. He was far less soggy now, and he was wearing a black t-shirt and back jogging shorts that highlighted his distinct calf muscles. His shirt also emphasized his forearms which seemed strong. y/n wished she could think about other things other than the physical attributes of the man quickly jogging toward her, except that was all she had to go off of. That and the fact that he knew someone who owned a fancy sports car. y/n stood as the man drew near. 

Aaron was highly annoyed at himself for losing his phone. How he hadn’t noticed its weight missing from his pocket baffled him. He wasn’t sure how far he had moved since the phone made its mysterious disappearance. Today was a long run day for him, and he had moved around twelve miles according to his Apple watch. He briefly, sarcastically, thanked god that it wasn’t his work phone that had gone missing. But that would never happen. His FBI-issued phone stayed in a zipped pocket on the inside of his shirt and it stayed on all the time. Aaron had asked a few people if she could use their phones to see if someone had picked up the lost item, and he was close to despair and thinking he would have to go back home and try the ‘find my iPhone app. A wave of relief washed over Aaron as someone picked up for his last attempt at finding the phone while not having to leave the park. He listened to the location of the person who had it and confirmed that he would be right over. He ended the call and thanked the kind elderly woman who had let him use her phone. Hotch set out on a brisk jog, not wanting the woman holding his phone to wait longer than needed. 

Hotch had found himself worn out over the last few cases. Not that they were the worst cases he had ever seen, but the continued horrors and depravity he saw on a weekly basis were wearing on his morale. He was also tired. He’d done his normal pre-workout routine, but the energy drink and warm-up didn’t seem to have its normal effects. Hotch blamed both of these emotional blightes for his losing his phone and his not noticing. As he rounded the corner toward the big oak tree, there were very few people around and he saw the woman he was sure he had talked to a few moments before. As he got closer to the woman, it took him a moment to realize that he had seen her before. As he scanned through his memories of the past weeks, he clocked her as the person he had been stranded with under the bookstore awning. She looked lovely and calm as she was clearly scanning the area for him. Hotch had thought she looked good the day he had first met her, with her bright _y/e/c_ eyes standing out on her slightly flushed face. But now that she was dry and more relaxed, Hotch could appreciate her in a more natural environment. Aaron took a sharp breath in as he remembered how close they had been standing next to each other, he looked down at her as the cars passed by, splashing his legs and soaking his socks further. There was also that brief moment as her hand had touched his upper back. Aaron cleared his throat and moved those thoughts somewhere deeper in his mind. Somewhere fantasy could take root if he wasn’t careful. Hotch put on a small smile as he stopped in front of the woman. She was holding out his phone for him, and he reached out for it. After the cool metal was in his left hand, he extended his right hand and said, “Thank you so much for finding this. It’s a pleasure seeing you again. I see you survived the rain.” There was a beat of silence, and then he added, “I’m Aaron, Hotchner by the way.” 

y/n smiled up at Aaron and took his hand in hers. He gave it a firm yet steady shake and she said, “I’m y/n, _l/n_. What a surprise to see you again. How have you been?” y/n wasn’t sure why she asked the last questions, but it felt natural. She was also distracted by his scent. He was sweaty, but there was a sort of brine to the scent. Like when one stood next to the seashore at twilight. When Aaron responded, she smiled and said, “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’ve gotta head out, but it was nice to see you again, Aaron. I hope you have a good rest of your weekend.” _y/n_ didn’t particularly have to go anywhere, but she had a sinking feeling that if she stayed around the figure that was Aaron Hotchner, she might say something silly or stupid, and for some reason, she didn’t want to seem like that to him. As she had the first time they met, she gave a small wave and moved down the path. Again, she thought this was the last time that she would see him. 

They were destined to meet again three weeks later at the local bar in the neighborhood. Seated at a small table,  y/n shared her new life updates with _y/b/f_ who was visiting for the weekend. y/n had just covered the rainstorm incident and she said, “And then on top of that I saw him again later in the month. Let me tell you, if I thought he was handsome in the rain, you should have seen him in his workout clothes!” y/n was speaking openly and candidly given that her inhibitions were down because she had already had three drinks. Her friend who had a similar buzz said, “Okay, wait y/n. I’m going to need you to describe this guy in lots of detail. You always have a way with words, and I need the skinny. He sounds like a dreamboat.” y/n flushed further, above the color of the alcohol that had tinged her cheeks. y/n looked at _y/b/f_, and they had an expectant look on their face. y/n couldn't help but giggle before saying, “Well he’s tall, and he has dark hair. It’s cut short and neat from what I can tell, though both times I’ve seen him it’s been a bit disheveled. He’s fit. I mean, I saw him working out, and the first time I saw him his clothes were pretty much hugging his body. And man what a body he has.

Apart from his name, and his looks, I don’t have that much more to go off of. When I found his phone there was a picture of a little boy on his lock screen. For all I know he might be married or in a serious relationship. That doesn’t mean that I don’t find him attractive, but I’d never do something with a man who was committed.” If y/n was being honest with herself, she’d probably never do anything with the man ever? What could she possibly say if she even saw him again? The world was small, but not that small. y/n had relegated him to a small dreamlike crush to think back on every now and then. y/n took another sip of her cocktail to try and hide her blush from her friend. The door to the small bar opened and her friend, who was facing the door, looked at the large group that was entering the establishment. The final person to enter the bar caught y/n’s friend's eye, and they said, “I think your man just came in here.” y/n incredulously said, “Oh please, _y/b/f_, don’t tease me like that. It’s bad enough that I haven’t dated anyone seriously in years.” _y/b/f_ sobered slightly and said, “No y/n, I’m being serious. The last guy that just came in kind of matches the description you just gave.” 

y/n rolled her eyes but looked behind her anyway and low and behold, it was Aaron who had walked through the door. He was with a group of six people, and he was congenially chatting with an older man and a very pretty brunette-haired woman. y/n hadn’t yet seen the man so at ease, but it looked good on him. It fit. The intense blush on y/n’s face told her best friend that she had pointed out the correct figure and they said, “Damn, He is hot. He must live in the neighborhood or something if you keep running into him unplanned like this.” y/n nodded along in agreement, and _y/b/f_ continued, “You should give him your number or buy him a drink or something while he’s here. Who knows when the next time is that you’ll see him?” At the suggestion, y/n shook her head in embarrassment and said, “I don’t know _y/b/f’s/n_. What if he’s not interested?” _y/b/f_ sighed and placed a hand on y/n’s shoulder saying, “Oh come on y/n. Nothing gambled, nothing gained, and all that. After all, what’s the worst that can happen? He says no, or that he’s married and then you run into him at the supermarket and it’s awkward and you move past each other in the cheese aisle? Would you just give it a chance?”

y/n thought about the cost-benefit of actually making a move on Aaron and found that, as her friend had said, the cost side of the equation was pretty low. After a long silence filled by the ambient hum of the noise inside the bar, y/n said, “Okay, fine. But I’m going to wait for him to have a drink first and make sure he’s not overly attached to anyone in his party, and that will give me time to sober up a bit. I might be taking a risk on my behalf, but I’m sure as hell not doing it drunk.” y/n moved to the bar and got herself and her friend some water. While she was waiting, the pretty brunette and the older man whom Aaron had been speaking to when the group had walked in moved next to her at the bar. As y/n overheard the woman saying, “I don’t know Rossi. He looks sad to me sometimes. Like when he thinks no one is looking? I’m kind of worried for him.” The older man, Rossi, nodded and said, “I see it too. But you see it, and I see it, but Hotch? I don’t know, and I don’t think he would really appreciate us cornering him in his office and asking him about his mental health, do you?” The woman laughed and said, “That’s a big fat no from me. But you know how he gets. I’d just like to see him happy.” As the woman finished the statement, y/n got her water and gave the two she had been eavesdropping on a small smile before heading back to her own table. 

About a half hour later y/n felt more in control of her faculties. Aaron had had two drinks and y/n subtly watched him. He didn’t seem to flirting or attached to any of the women or men he was with; he also wasn’t wearing a ring which was a good start. y/n moved to the bathroom to make sure she looked alright before she made her move. y/n reapplied some mascara and lipstick, but she knew she was just stalling at this point. She took a deep breath and whispered, “You can do this,” as she walked out of the ladies' room. Fortunately from y/n, Aaron was at the bar getting a drink for himself, Morgan, and JJ. y/n idled up to him and said, “Hey Aaron, fancy seeing you here. Can I get you a drink?” Hotch turned and looked down at y/n. He was a bit tipsy given that he had two drinks in a pretty fast period. Hotch looked over the woman who kept appearing in his life and said, “Hey again y/n. We can’t seem to escape each other.” He looked over her face and saw the tells of attraction. He took a steadying breath as he realized that he was also attracted to y/n. He cleared his throat before saying “And you can buy me a drink if you like.” y/n beamed. She had fully expected him to say no, and she asked, “What’ll it be?” Hotch thought for a moment and said, “Margarita on the rocks please.” When the bartender came over y/n ordered two margaritas on the rocks. y/n Aaron chatted while they waited for the drinks and at the of the night, in a moment of inebriation and a bit of teasing from Morgan, Aaron had given his number to y/n. 

In a small moment of vulnerability for both of them, they had started texting on and off. Then they had had their first date and it had gone well. Then they had a second, and a third, and Aaron realized that y/n was steady, calm, and kind. She wasn’t bothered by his extended absences, or him having to change their plans often because of a case. y/n had slowly started meeting the important people in his life. It had been Morgan first. That happened kind of by accident. Then there was Rossi and Em, and Jack of course. By all means their relationship should be growing, and they would have their rocky moments, but happiness and care should be blooming, but for y/n it simply wasn’t. A sadness was tugging at her soul like a millstone. 

She was lying in bed; she had been all day. It was 11:00 a.m. The day outside looked pretty as the leaves fell and soft light came through the window. She had barely had the will to open the blinds. She had been crying a few minutes earlier but had managed to stop the flow of tears eventually. All y/n had wanted to do over the past few days was sleep. Sleep and cry. She had managed to keep up her hygiene a bit because she had to look and dress professionally for work, but if that wasn’t the case, she knew she wouldn’t have done any of her normal care routines. Her hair was on its last legs with dry shampoo, and she could feel it getting greasy and gross on the pillow. A sound at the door caught y/n’s attention. ‘Aaron,’ she thought. She had forgotten that he was coming over today. She tried to find the will to get up, but she was embarrassed about her current state both mentally and physically. She turned her back to her bedroom door and sniffled. Maybe if she didn’t answer he would leave? There was a second of silence and then there was a ping of her phone. y/n was sure that it was Aaron asking if she was okay. Then after that, there was a call and she could hear Aaron’s voice from outside saying, “y/n are you in there? Are you okay?” There was worry in Aaron’s voice and she cringed because it was so silly to be sad right now. She thought it was too early in their relationship for him to see her so sad. 

Aaron stood outside y/n’s door. There was a small panic rising in him. He had texted and called with no response from y/n. There was an eerie quiet outside her door. Normally at this time, she’d have her vinyl playing _y/f/a_ and making some coffee or reading. Hotch could picture it and it made him feel warm for a moment. But he didn’t feel that warmth now. He sensed that something was wrong, and he called out saying, “y/n if you’re in there I’m coming in, okay.” Aaron punched in y/n’s seven-digit code, and the door clicked open. There was no one in the kitchen or living area and the lights were off. He checked the bathroom and it was also empty. Aaron called for y/n saying, “y/n are you here?” More softly he said, “God, please be here.” Hotch moved to the bedroom door and gave a hesitant knock saying her name again. There was a soft sound from inside and, fearing the worst, he opened the door. When his eyes fell on y/n's form under a bundle of sheets and blankets, he let out a momentary sigh of relief.

He stepped into the semi-dark room and approached the bed saying gently, “y/n, are you alright?” y/n was facing away from him and said, “I’m sorry, Aaron. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be alright.” She spoke so softly that Aaron almost didn’t hear her. There was a sadness in her voice that pulled at his heart, and his concern for her only grew. Hotch sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her upper arm asking, “Honey, would you please look at me. I need to see you.” Hotch needed to know if she was alright. Sluggishly y/n moved from her side and onto her stomach. She turned her face toward Aaron, and he assessed her. It was clear to him right away that she had been crying. Her tear streaks marked her face and her eyes were red and bloodshot. Aaron rested a hand on her cheek and said, “Sweetheart please tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been crying.” y/n sniffled and said, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.” At hearing y/n say this, Aaron turned to face her more directly and sincerely said, “Whatever it is, it’s not stupid to me. I wanna know why you’re sad.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. There was silence as y/n thought about what to say. Finally, she responded with, “I’m just sad, Aaron, and I have no right to be. I have everything I could want. I have a job I like. I’m finally stable in my life. I have you and Jack, and I’m still so fucking sad, over nothing.” While she spoke the tears started falling again. 

Aaron listened and his heart ached for the pain y/n was feeling. He brushed his hand down her cheek and then moved his thumb to wipe away the tears falling on her face. Tenderly he said, “Darling, I’m so sorry. You’re allowed to feel sad, even if there’s no reason. And you’re allowed to be sad near me; it’s not embarrassing.” y/n made a small sound as she pressed her forehead to his thigh. Aaron wondered if this was an attempt to hide from him. He looked down at her and asked, “May I hold you, y/n” y/n sniffled but nodded yes to his request. Aaron leaned down and undid the laces of his loafer and kicked them both off with his other foot. He slipped his jacket off and moved to the other side of the bed. He pushed up the covers and lay down. When he was settled a bit, he pulled y/n close to his body. When she was cradled close to him, he could feel her relax. Aaron ran a hand up and down her side as he asked, “Have you felt this way before? Have you spoken to your therapist about these feelings?” 

y/n felt better being close to Aaron. She responded to his question saying, “I have sometimes. When the weather starts changing and the days get shorter it can get really bad. I’ve been okay for the last year or so, but now it’s back. I haven’t told my therapist yet. I was going to in our next session. I had kind of hoped that it would just go away, but it hasn’t obviously.” Aaron hummed and moved his hand to her stomach, rubbing soft circles over the flesh there. Next, he asked, “And you’re still taking your medication?” At this, y/n actually chuckled and said, “I have. I know what happens when I stop taking those and it’s not pretty.” Aaron felt a tiny bit better hearing her laugh and make a joke. The feeling in the room lightened slightly. The silence lingered for a few minutes and Aaron broke it saying, “Would you like to stay here for a little bit?” In his arms, y/n sighed and said, “Yes please.” Aaron shifted in the bed so his head was resting near her neck, and he circled his arms around her protectively. He planted a few kisses on the nape of  y/n’s neck and then stilled his movements as she quickly fell asleep. Aaron looked her over. He was glad that she found comfort in him. His embrace. He would have to do more research on seasonal depression because although he knew it was a type of depression, he didn’t know much about it. The only person that he maybe knew had issues like that was Spencer, as his younger agent had once told him that he had worse thoughts during the winter. But for now, he would just be there to support y/n. Her health and happiness were paramount to him, and he was going to do everything he could to make her feel alright. 

After an hour, Aaron and y/n woke and Aaron thought of something. He asked, “When is the last time you’ve eaten, darling?” The moment it took for her to answer told Aaron what he needed to know. When y/n replied, “It was yesterday at breakfast.” Aaron frowned at the answer and said, “Alright. Well, how about we get some food? We could make something here or I could order something for us?” y/n thought and said, “There’s not much in the fridge. Maybe we could order some _y/c/f_ ?” Aaron replied and said, “Of course, I’ll place the order now.” Aaron pulled out his phone and opened Uber Eats to get the food. After this, they both moved to the living area. Aaron opened some blinds to let some light into the room but chose not to turn on any of the overhead lighting to create a calm environment. He turned on the TV and put on Seinfeld putting the volume on low to give them some ambient noise. y/n sat on the couch and Aaron pulled her into his arms while they waited for the food to arrive. Aaron moved to stroke her hair, and as he started, she cringed slightly. He stopped his movements and asked, “What is it, y/n?”y/n felt the shame rise in her again as she said, “It’s dirty. My hair. I haven’t washed it in three days.” Aaron nodded and said, “It’s okay, y/n. I don’t mind.” y/n softly said, “Okay.” She believed him and rested her head against his chest again. Aaron started gently combing through her hair with his hands. y/n listened to the steady thumping of his heart near her ear, and her hands found a place on his stomach. When he sat, Aaron had a little tummy that hid the muscles of his torso. It was actually one of the favorite parts of his body. They hadn’t been undressed in front of the other yet, but when they were, she looked forward to paying that area extra attention. y/n knew that just being with Aaron wasn’t going to fix her mental health problems. She would have to face the emotions and it might hurt, but it was worth it. For now, Aaron was a balm and a light, and she looked forward to moving forward with him in life. She knew that with Aaron by her side, better days were coming. That the sun would shine a bit brighter than it had before.

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas - Day 6

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): i know it’s supposed to be romantic to be snowed in but literally all i have in my apartment is pop tarts

Word Count: 1.9K

Story Description: Nick Miller has it all planned out. A rental just for him and (Y/N), a dinner reservation, and a week by themselves during Christmas in Chicago. The only thing he can't predict is how the weather will be.

Fandom: New Girl

Pairing: Nick Miller x Female!Reader

A/N: no, I am not posting on day seven day six, that is not what I'm doing 🫣

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Nothing Ever Goes According to Plan

He meant well.

Nick Miller always meant well.

He had planned a whole trip to Chicago for the winter with his girlfriend (Y/N). They had been very busy as of lately. He with his writing and she with her graphic design clients. Especially as the holidays snuck up on them, they had less and less time to see each other.

But Nick wanted to change that. They had already decided to spend Christmas in Chicago with his family. And as much as he loved them, he could barely spend a few hours in a confined space with them, let alone a week. He also couldn’t bring himself to do that to (Y/N). Having to spend the holidays in the piercing Chicago winter was torture enough.

He had rented an apartment just for the two of them. Close enough that they could see his family on Christmas day but far enough that they wouldn’t drop by for a visit. A nice AirBnB to spend the week in together. It was even adorned with beautiful Christmas decorations.

Nick arrived a day before his girlfriend. He had said it was so he could spend some one-on-one time with his family. But in reality, he had something else planned for her arrival.

“Look, Jess, I have told you the plan twenty times already,” Nick sighed into his phone. “I’m sure it’s gonna be fine.”

“Just tell me one more time, Nick! I wanna make sure everyone is on schedule.”

“UGH! Fine. She gets here at three, we have some couple-y alone time, then at 6 we get to Piccolo where we will be escorted to the outdoor patio where I’ll finally pop the question,” he listed off. “Then, if she says yes…”

“When she says yes,” Jess interrupted.

“Sure. We’ll go inside where you will all celebrate the fact that she is crazy enough to want to spend her life with me.”

“Stop it, Nick. I’ve never seen either of you this happy,” she reprimanded. “Now, you’ve got the ring?”

“Yes.”

“You confirmed the reservation?”

“Ya-huh.”

“Did you check the weather for today?”

Nick kept quiet for a couple of seconds. He thought he had done everything possible to ensure the night would go without a hitch. Except check the unpredictable weather of the winter. He had gotten used to the warm and sunny days of California so it didn’t cross his mind to verify that snow would ever ruin everything he had planned.

“You know they’re saying it might snow a lot tonight,” Jess regained his attention. “Maybe we can think of plan B, just in case something happens.”

“It’s gonna be fine Jessica,” Nick laughed nervously. “I’m pretty sure it won’t snow that much. I would know. I’m from Chicago.”

He didn’t have a backup plan. He didn’t want one. Nick wanted everything to go as he had been playing out in his head. Nothing less than perfection.

Somehow, he found himself nervously cleaning the place as he waited for the clock to hit three in the afternoon, and (Y/N) knocked on the door. The apartment was already clean but he needed to hyper-fixate on something that didn’t make him lose his mind.

Before he knew it, a knock rapped on the door and the nerves built up once again inside him. If she was here that could only mean that they were hours closer to a life-changing decision. And (Y/N) had all the power to turn all his Christmases into a time to remember or a time he would always dwell on.

“Uh, Nick?” (Y/N) called from the other side of the door. “Can you let me in, babe? It’s freezing out here.”

“Yeah, yeah! Just a sec,” he responded as he took one final look around the place to make sure it looked perfect. “Hey.”

“Hey, you,” (Y/N) smiled as soon as her boyfriend opened the door. She gave him a quick peck on his lips as she passed the threshold, patting away the snow that had accumulated on her clothes. “It’s really coming down out there. Looks like I got here just in time before things get ugly.”

“What’d you mean?”

“Well, snow’s already coming down hard and they say that six more inches of snow are gonna fall.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, a tempting smile on her face. “But enough about that, huh?  It’s the first time in a long time that we’ve been together with no other things to worry about. Let’s make up for some lost time.”

“I like where your mind is, girl,” Nick answered, pushing his worries to the back of his mind.

***

The pair lay in bed, enjoying the warmth of the apartment. After engaging in the physical activity they had missed out on in a while, they were pretty worn out. (Y/N)’s head was on Nick’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as he drew circles on her back.

“It’s a bit romantic, don’t you think?” she said softly. “You and me, trapped in this very nice apartment, a white Christmas happening outside. It’s charming.”

Panic set into him once again. Whilst his mind was elsewhere, he had completely forgotten about the weather predicament. “Well, babe, being snowed in might sound romantic,” he said. “But all I’ve got in the apartment is beer and pop tarts.” 

“Very college-esque of you,” she chuckled. “I think we can manage for a night. You know, we can start now, be drunk by seven and back in bed by nine. We’ll sleep through the whole night.”

“But we’ve got that reservation at that restaurant I told you about. It took me a long time to get it.” 

“We can call and reschedule, baby. I mean, given the weather conditions I’m sure they’d understand,” she reasoned. “Now, I’m gonna go get a beer and sit by the fire. You can join me if you want. But I’m drinking with or without you.” 

As soon as she was out of the room, Nick scurried for his phone. Calling the only person he knew could help.

“Jess! I’m freaking out,” he scream whispered.

“You’re snowed in?”

“Uh-huh.”   

“And the only plan you had is falling apart?”

 “You know it,” he replied. “I know I screwed up by not having a backup, but I don’t want to hear an ‘I told you so’ right now.” 

“Okay, calm down, Nick. I’ll call the restaurant and have them set up the same thing for tomorrow. I’ll send out a message to everyone telling them about the change of plans. And you, my friend, are going to enjoy this night with your girlfriend soon-to-be fiancé.” 

“Thanks, Jess.”

“Sure thing. It’s all gonna work out, Nick,” she said in an attempt to calm him down. “Now, I’ve gotta go 'cause I am also snowed in with Sam and I’m gonna take advantage of the situation.”

“You dirty dog,” he chuckled. “Have fun!”

He hung up the phone, feeling relief wash over him before he walked out to the living room. There, (Y/N) had taken out a six-pack of beer from the fridge and had started on her first one. In front of her was a plate with two pop tarts, and one of them had a bite taken off.

“Ready to get drunk?” she asked Nick when she saw him come out of the bedroom. “As you can see, I’ve already started.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he smiled.

Two hours and twelve beers later, they were sat next to the apartment’s Christmas tree staring at the twinkling lights. They were bundled in each other’s arms, a warm blanket wrapped around them. They had drunk, watched movies, drunk some more, and ate half a box of Pop-Tarts. But they’d gotten to the point where their minds were hazy from the alcohol and everything around them was a very intriguing sight.

“This is fun,” she said. “I could do this forever.”

Forever triggered something in drunk Nick. Suddenly, the box in his pocket was burning a hole in his pants.

“Funny you should mention that,” he chuckled dryly.

“Mention what?” 

“That!”

“What are you talking about?” she laughed.

“Forever.” 

(Y/N) didn’t understand where he was going with his line of thinking. But it intrigued her. So, she asked, “What about forever?” 

“You know, I had a whole thing planned,” he started. “But I forgot to check the weather. I grew up here and I forgot to check the damn weather.” 

“Babe, why are you rambling on about the weather?”

“Might as well get this over with,” he smiled. “I, uh, had been planning something for a while now. But like most of my plans, things didn’t really turn out the way they should. You know, you start with one thing and make sure it’s perfect. Once it’s perfect you don’t want to mess with it. And you always do it with the best intentions, but the world doesn’t care about good intentions. And…”

“Nick,” she interrupted him. “Don’t mean to cut you here, but you’re rambling.” 

“I had this whole speech planned,” he went on. “But for the life of me, I can’t remember it right now. So, I’ll speak from the heart – 'cause I’m very good at that, especially when I’m drunk.” 

Nick moved his body until he was sitting face-to-face with her. He took her hands in his and continued.

“(Y/N), I love you. I love you so damn much,” Nick smiled. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Making plans that always get screwed up. I want to get drunk right before Christmas. I wanna go to crazy expensive restaurants with you and leave because we hate the food there. I want a house, and kids, and everything that comes with life. I want it all and I want it with you!”

“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

He pulled the black box out of his pocket, revealing the ring he’d guarded for six months and somehow had managed to hide it all that time. “Will you make the craziest decision of your life and agree to marry me?”

“Nick! Yes! A thousand times yes!” (Y/N) exclaimed as she threw her arms around him, knocking him back onto the floor. She landed on top of him and they both laughed. “And if getting married to you is crazy, then let me be crazy. Because nothing would make me happier.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Anything.”

“Make sure you act surprised tomorrow at the restaurant,” he chuckled. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but everyone’s gonna be at Piccolo’s tomorrow expecting a proposal. They don’t have to know it’s gonna be a replay.”

“Nick, you suck at lying.” 

“But I’m great at make-believe,” he grinned. “And tomorrow I’m gonna be Nick from this morning. The nervous wreck that wanted today to be perfect.”

“Well, regardless if tomorrow doesn’t go well, today you gave me the best present in the world,” she smiled as she set a soft kiss on his lips.

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N).”

“Merry Christmas, fiancé.”

“Kind of like the sound of that,” he chuckled. “Nick Miller, fiancé.”

“I’d like husband a lot more,” (Y/N) smiled back. “And it’d be a Christmas miracle if you can pull off tomorrow. Again, you are terrible at lying.” 

“But terrific at make-believe,” they chorused before laughing.

Taglist: @honeylovemoon @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @laylaskywalker

[modelbus]

Yk, library love is a really good fic... So a part 3 wouldn't kill anyone right ?

Right right…

I’m so glad people enjoy it though, it’s possibly my favorite thing I’ve written!

Pairing: Cc!Wilbur x Gn!Reader

Library Love Part 3

“What do you mean you didn’t even read the books?!”

Wilbur laughs at your outraged look, following you around the library while he waits for your shift to end. He tends to do this now, show up thirty minutes before you get out and bother you.

You love every second of it.

“I read some, but most I just randomly grabbed to keep talking to you.” He repeats.

“Wil!” You yell. “Other people could’ve wanted those!”

He just shrugs, still grinning at you. “Worked out in my favor anyways, didn’t it?”

Running a hand through your hair, you sigh. He’s right, it did work. But still… how long was he chasing you before you noticed?

Wilbur takes a book off your cart and places it back on the shelf for you. You go to grab the last one, but he beats you to it and also slots it into its place.

“Now that you’re done, we can go, right?” He asks, checking his watch.

“Why do you come if you’re so eager to leave?”

“I’m not eager to leave! And I like seeing you. So you’re good to go?”

“Yes, Wilbur. I’m good to go.”

“Great!”

He grabs your hand and starts tugging you along with him as you try not to trip over your own feet. His legs are longer than yours so he’s practically dragging you, but you’re both laughing like lovesick idiots.

Wilbur continues to drag you even when you’re outside of the library, leaving quite the sight for bypassers.

“Okay! Slow down! You’re going to kill me!” You finally say between laughs.

He exaggerates his sigh but slows his rushing. “I can’t believe I’m slowing for a tiny thing like you.”

For the record, you're not tiny.

“Hey! You’re the goddamn giant!”

“I will start running.” He threatens, and you hold your one free hand up in surrender.

The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence, where you enjoy the weather. Although you love the library with about half your heart (the other half was reserved for the guy next to you), you hardly ever got to enjoy the nice weather. Today it was perfectly sunny with the faintest of breezes ruffling the leaves of trees.

It’s a perfect day for whatever Wilbur has up his sleeve. Speaking of, you have no clue where he’s taking you. A week ago had been your one year, so you knew nothing special was happening today.

You’ve also been keeping up with his band after he introduced you, and there’s definitely no show today. Actually, you’re pretty sure you’ve met all his friends by now. Tommy was the first one he introduced you to, and you quickly realized why. The two were practically brothers. Thank God Tommy liked you.

Really, where is Wilbur taking you?

“Wil, where are we going?” You finally ask.

“You’ll see.” He hums.

“When?”

“When we get there.”

“Come on, where are you taking me?”

“Patience, darling.” His eyes sparkle with humor. He’s enjoying this! “You’ll love it, I promise.”

That doesn’t clear anything up. You love most things when it comes to him, even that time you had to help him patch a hole in his bedroom wall. It absolutely ruined your jeans that day, too.

But you go quiet, trusting him. He might lead you astray, but at least you’re going astray together.

Wilbur takes you down a path in the park, a place you two have been to a few times. You can’t really think of a reason he’d drag you here though. There’s nothing especially special in here.

A pond with some ducks might be the extent of the place. A well-loved pond, but just a pond.

“You’ve really confused me now.” You laugh.

“Good. Now I need to cover your eyes. You love me, right?”

“Right.” You immediately agree, but then grow suspicious. “Why are you covering my eyes?”

“For the surprise. Just go with it.”

So you do, allowing him to move behind you and cover your eyes gently with his hands. You’re a little hesitant when he tells you to start walking, but you do. Very slowly.

“Okay, pick up the pace.” He finally sighs.

“No! You’re covering my eyes!”

“Do you really think I’d let you walk into something?”

“Yes.”

“I’m telling you, I didn’t mean to let you walk backward off that pier!”

“And I don’t believe you!”

He huffs out a breath from behind you, making you laugh.

“Stop walking.”

You do, and he removes his hands from your eyes. The first thing you see is the pond. Obviously. It’s kind of a large pond.

But second, you see a blanket on the grass with a little picnic basket. He’s also set a deck of Uno cards out for the two of you to play. It was the first game you two played together, and it was a full-out war.

It’s adorable, and your jaw drops at the little haven he’s created here.

“Wil.” You breathe.

“Good surprise, right?”

“Best surprise!” You exclaim, turning around and pressing a kiss to his lips.

When you pull away, he’s grinning like an idiot. That smile he gives you hasn’t changed over the year, and you love it.

“Our one-year celebration was basic, so I one-upped it. A week after, so you wouldn’t suspect anything.” He explains, leading you to the blanket. “Will you do me the honor of eating with me?”

“Of course, Wil.”

(Later, you make the mistake of throwing a duck some lettuce while you two are eating. They descend upon you, chasing the both of you out. It’s still the best picnic you’ve ever had.)

[sxtaep]

Hey how did your date with M go? 🥹

EEEEEEK IT WENT SO GOOD 😭😭🩷🩷 we had such a good time.

the day started with me meeting him at the train station, and i was so worried i wouldn’t recognise him 🤣🤣🤣 but i did and he seemed to recognise me straight away because he was smiling the whole time walking up to me 🥹

we hugged and just chatted and we went to a local cafe to get some drinks before heading out.

we went on a half an hour walk through Kensington Park (WHICH IS SO BEAUTIFUL MIGHT I ADD) and we took a bunch of photos together, and videos AND HE WAS LETTING ME HOLD HIS ARM WHILE WE WALKED 😭😭🩷🩷

we made plans to go to the Natural History Museum but the queue was so damn long, we decided to go to the Victoria & Albert Museum which was pretty cool 🤭

around 4pm we decided to head back to his hotel, and while we were walking, HE SLYLY SLIPPED HIS HAND INTO MINE 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🩷🩷 AND HE ASKED ME IF IT WAS OKAY AND I WAS LIKE YES I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO DO IT 🤣 and overall it was just very very cute and wholesome, he was cracking jokes and being a cringelord the whole time 🥰

we got back to his hotel, he checked in and we got to his room and we just crashedddd, we were so tired so we both just laid on the bed and watched madagascar 3 on the TV AND IT WAS A FUCKING FUNNY MOVIE TOO 🤣🤣🤣 and the whole time he was playing with my hands and holding them and he had his other hand on my thigh (i was lying on my side facing him) and he was asking if it was ok for him to touch me there and i said yes 🥹

and he continued to stare and he goes “i wanna kiss you” and I GOT SHY 😭 and i told him i’ve never kissed anyone before and he goes “do you want to?” AND I WAS LIKE YES HELLO ???)?

AND YEAH I HAD MY FIRST KISSS 🤭🤭🤭 AND IT WAS VERY GOOD WE WENT IN FOR IT TWO MORE TIMES AND SUDDENLY IT BECAME A MAKEOUT SESSION 🤯

EVENTUALLY…. things got a bit heated and um yeah i … gave him head 😅😅😅

and yeah that was Sunday 😁😁😁

MONDAY, we went to this lego exhibition WHICH WAS SO COOL 🤯

it was great and after the exhibition, we went to the park and he asked if we could sit and talk for a little bit and i was like ok.

we sat on the bench, the weather was really nice and sunny (bit windy but oh well) and he put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him 😭🩷🩷 and we were talking about how we both had a great time and it sucks that’d he’d have to leave in about two hours 😒 and he goes “i’ve been wanting to ask you this for a while, but i wanted to do it in person.” and i was like oh????

and he’s looking at me and he’s smiling and he goes “i think we should make things official.”

THE WAYYYYY I WAS LIKE 😱 oh my god

I GOT SHY 😭😭😭 i had to look away from him and i was like “YES HELLO? YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS”

he started laughing 😭 and we decided we’d make the long distance thing work and he’ll try and come down to london as often as he can and i’ll go up to him whenever i can.

we were running late so decided to get a move on, and just as i was about to get off the bench, he was like “what, no kiss?” i was like damn okay 🤣 so i kissed him and then pulled him off the bench and we went to the station.

his train wasn’t for another hour so we went to a cafe and waited, just yapping, going through photos and the whole time he was holding my hands 😭😭😭😭 it’s the bare minimum i know but it was so unusual for me because obviously never done that before 😭

his train pulled up on the platform so we went down to his platform and it was kinda busy so we waited for the crowd to die down and we said our goodbyes, the usual hug and the kiss and he was reassuring me it won’t be too long till we see each other again and yeah.

overall a very good weekend, i miss him a lot 🙁

also here are the photos from the lego exhibition 😁

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 15: Proceed

“Good morning, Eleanor,” a calm voice stirs me awake.

“Eleanor? Who’s-? Oh, never mind.” I open my eyes and find Q’s head upside-down above from me.

“You look pretty in the morning. Most people don’t.”

I roll my eyes. “Very funny. This face has enough scars and marks on it to be mistaken for a cement brick.”

Q takes my head in his hands. “That pretty face is one that I don’t want to share with anyone.”

I arch a brow. “Who are you, some sort of romantic all of a sudden?”

“I can be now since we’ve established mutual feelings of attachment. Would you like to freshen up before we head to work?”

“Suppose I should. Do you mind?” This is the first time I’ve asked to take a shower in someone else’s home.

“Not at all. It’s up the stairs, first door on the-” Q pauses. “Actually, would you like a tour?”

It’s sweet that Q’s already opened to the idea of showing me his apartment. He almost seems excited about it.

“I’d love a tour, Q,” I say with a soft smile.

The geek takes my hand and leads me up the stairs. The upper floor contains a small hallway with 3 doors. We head right and Q opens the first door to reveal a bedroom.

“This is me,” Q says almost shyly. “Just in case you need to come get me.”

Does this mean Q wants me over more often?

“This here’s the bathroom.” Q opens the 2nd door. “And down here-” We walk to the end of the hall and he opens the last door. “-is my home office.”

‘Office’ isn’t the term I would use. It’s more like a miniature version of his lab, only it has a few personal additions such as some science posters and scattered figurines. One might describe it as if it were a nerd’s hideout.

“This is definitely you, Q. Is this where you come up with all your brilliant ideas?”

“Sometimes, yes. Other times I’ll think of something at a random time of day and scribble it down. You can’t predict eureka moments like those.” Q walks back to the stairs. “I’ll leave you to freshen up. There’s some fresh clothes in the cabinet. We leave in 20 minutes.”

I’m finished in 10. It’s odd using someone else’s shower and even stranger when my options of soap smell like Q. A mix of mint, laundry soap, and something that almost smells like gunpowder. After pulling on one of his gray sweaters (I keep my own leggings on because his trousers are far too big) I go back downstairs to find Q being bombarded by all 3 cats.

“A little help?” He asks with a sheepish smile.

I smirk. “I petted them last night. Now it’s your turn, genius. Ready to go?”

He reluctantly pulls the cats off of him and grabs his messenger bag. “All set. I’m assuming you’re disappointed about being out of a mission?”

He’s right. Now that SPECTRE’s been taken care of there’s no new assignment. I should be gloomy about it.

“Maybe M will have some paperwork for me to do.” I shrug. “Or do a coffee run.”

Q goes through the careful process of resetting the alarm system and we walk out into a sunny morning. It’s a shame we have to spend today indoors and miss out on this gorgeous weather. Today would be a perfect day for a drive.

The CNS tower comes into sight. Now that C is- well, taken care of, I wonder what’s to become of the building. No doubt M already has a new MI6 location already being set up. Q and I walk through the office doors and give each other a subtle look of goodbye before we go separate ways. We both know that confusing a workplace relationship with a romantic one is bonkers.

“Morning, Levie,” Moneypenny greets me as she approaches with a file. “I’ve got some paperwork for you.” She gets a gleam in her eye. “Did you and Q have a nice evening?”

She’s suspicious, I’m sure of it. It’s like she wanted Q and I to get together. Cheeky. But I will not compromise my new relationship to give her the satisfaction.

“Quite tame, actually. Enjoyed some good food, played a few cards. I’m just glad to have gotten a good night’s rest.”

Moneypenny eyes me leerily but lets the subject go and hands me the file. “Bond checked in about an hour ago so he might come visit. Right now you just need to fill this out.” She gives me a wink. “There’s a rumor that M might have a new assignment for you.”

My heart quickens. “Really? No joke?”

“I wouldn’t tease about something like that,” Moneypenny laughs as she walks back to the office.

Finally! I can have my own assignment instead of chasing after Bond. I’ll admit his adventures are exciting but it’s nice to be in control of my own missions. The only downfall is that it means I’ll have to go another month without seeing Q; although  we both know this is bound to happen. 

It’s 4:00 now. That’s given a big window of time for Q to get some space from me. Being in a secret relationship is strange as it is and I don’t want to overstress it by complicating our workplace relationship. So instead of heading to Q’s lab to annoy him I go for a walk in the courtyard. It’s always fun to act as a civilian and watch the naive pedestrians go about their everyday lives. If they knew how much chaos there is in the world they would panic into anarchy. Though it is disturbing that we keep them in the dark. What’s best is for them to enjoy the peace rather than dwell on violence.

“Enjoying the peace and quiet?” Someone approaches from behind.

I don’t turn to face Bond and gesture to our surroundings. “It’s too quiet. After the mess we’ve had this feels unnatural. Do you think people could ever handle the truth about what we do?”

My old mentor sighs deeply and shakes his head. “Could you?”

“Couldn’t say. How am I supposed to forget what I’ve seen? I don’t think I could dispose of that much knowledge of bloodshed on someone. ‘Sometimes it’s more noble to tell a small lie than to deliver a painful truth.’”

Bond gives me a funny look. “Did you just quote Night At The Museum?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t take you for a movie person.”

“It’s a very nice trilogy," I smirk. "We should have a movie night and I can show it to you.”

“Do you even have an apartment yet?” Bond asks.

I shake my head. “It’s on the list.”

Now Bond looks at his watch. “Better keep the list handy because you won’t have time to look for one. I’m here to tell you that you’re scheduled to meet with M in 20 minutes. He says it’s important so that most likely means you have a new mission, 0011.”

I get a giddy smile. “Yeah, Moneypenny mentioned it. What’s in store for you?”

“I’ve got a few ideas.” Bond gives me a sneaky smile.

There’s no use attempting to get more from that. For all I know he’s planning on blowing up another building. As we walk back I can’t help but feel happy that he can take a break. Not saying Bond’s due for retirement but I can step in to help carry the load if need be. After we say a quick goodbye Bond heads off towards the garage. Now to head to the elevator… or not. One little pop-in with Q wouldn’t hurt, right? No, I should focus on work. 

I head upstairs to meet with M, who seems much more laid back.

“Ah, good afternoon, 0011. I trust you know why I’ve summoned you here?”

“Yes, sir. You have a mission for me?”

“Affirmative.” M gestures to a screen across the room. “A few Siberian spies broke into a facility in northern Scotland. I need you to detain them and bring them here for questioning. Can I trust you to keep it simple and not make a mess?”

I stand to attention and nod. “Affirmative, sir. I will leave right away.”

The leader seems pleased and hands me a flashdrive. “Here’s the information you’ll need. I suggest you review any needed weaponry with Q before you depart.”

“Of course, sir.” For business and pleasure. 

With a new wave of excitement I quickly exit M’s office and hurry to the basement. It’s much more busy now that C’s not prying into everyone’s business. Maybe Q can actually get some assistance instead of being stuck down here by himself. I find the shaggy-haired geek scribbling some notes down at his back desk.

“You won’t believe what Bond just took,” he says without looking up.

I literally just saw Bond and he’s already causing trouble?

“Another new car?” I guess dryly.

Q lifts his gaze and points to the garage door. “Nope. His car.”

Sure enough, the classic Aston Martin DB5 is nowhere to be seen. 

“He always loved that bloody car.” I walk over to where my bike is leaning against the wall. “I’m afraid I have to use my vehicle now as well though I promise I will bring it back. Would you mind if I borrowed this afterwards to do some, ah, house-hunting?”

Q pauses, then gets up to walk over while avoiding my gaze. “Still looking for an apartment?”

“Yes. I can’t keep living at work even if I’m only here in-between missions. Perhaps I should just find a storage unit for my things and let Moneypenny take care of Cricket.” I shrug. “Aside from you there’s not much that ties me to somewhere.”

Now Q’s fidgeting with his hands. “Actually, if you’re open to it, maybe… You could move in with me?”

He’s serious? I could…? I’m not sure how to feel about this. After I joined the MI6 I’ve always relied on myself to make ends meet, to have a home. Can I allow enough trust to rely on him?

“That’s a big commitment. Are you sure?”

Q gets a lopsided grin. “You’re already staying with me and you haven’t found an apartment. Why not?”

If anything I thought I’d be the one to move our relationship along. It’s admiring to see Q so confident in our new situation.

“If it’s no burden to you-”

“That couldn’t be farther from the truth,” Q interrupts and takes my hand. “You’re anything but a burden, Eleanor.”

His words bring a smile to my face. “Yes, Geoffrey. I’d love to move in with you. On one condition.” I hold up a finger. “You allow me to take up half of the rent.” He goes to argue but I cover his mouth with my hand. “It’s only fair. I will not take no for an answer, Quartermaster.”

Q gives me an annoyed look while I still keep his mouth shut. Then he surprises me by kissing my hand, which I instinctively lower due to the unnatural feeling.

“Fine,” Q stubbornly agrees. “You can pay half the rent, even though your payment in affections is worth enough.” He pecks a kiss on my cheek. “I hope to mirror such emotions.”

I arch a brow. “Are you saying you love me?”

Q’s eyes spark and he leans in to back me against the wall, his face inches from mine. “Would you like a lecture, or a demonstration?”

Oh my. I thought being sent on a new assignment was going to be the highlight of the day; but nothing can compare to this new feeling of anticipation racing through my veins. My curiosity on Q’s idea of a demonstration is a new itch in my brain. I’m almost sad to have to leave.

I take a deep breath and hold up a hand to cress Q’s cheek. “Save it for when I get back, genius. Right now I’ve got to go catch a few rascals in Scotland.”

I see Q shares my disappointment but we both know our jobs must come first. Emotions will only make my task complicated. Right now I have to focus on proceeding to the task at hand. Pushing the struggle aside, I slide past Q to retrieve my motorcycle.

“M said to review weaponry with you before I go. Any suggestions?”

Q snaps back into his workplace demeanor and goes back to retrieve something from his desk. "You still wear the pendant tracker?"

"Of course."

"Good. Then we won't need to worry about losing contact." He hands me a small case. “Here, but be careful with it. These are potassium pellets, which means they react violently with water. Will really come in handy if you need to make a quick explosion, and since it’s Scotland you’re traveling to there should be plenty of water to use.”

I graciously take the invention and pack the case safely in the bike’s compartment. “Thank you, Quartermaster. I look forward to seeing your genius device in action.”

“Excited for another adventure, are we? Hopefully this time I won’t be dragged into it.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m starting to think you’re lucky to be stuck down here. Maybe someday I can be more than just an assassin Mata Hari.”

Q gets a serious expression and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You are far more than that, Eleanor. You’re an incredibly loyal agent with a damn good spirit. That and…” He pauses. “Your feminine qualities are rather fine as well.”

His unique ways of flirting are catching, I’ll give him that.

“That means a lot, Q. I promise I’ll try to get back quickly.” I press a kiss to his cheek and mount the bike, starting the engine before I can delay myself further. Lord only knows how this mission will go but I’m confident in my capability.

“I am the angel of death, the time of purification is at hand,” I mutter as the garage door slides open.

Q gives me the thumbs-up to depart. “Go give ‘em Hell, darling.”

[doppotranslations]

Nightmare Lurking on the Island ~A Desert Island~

===============================

Hypmic ARB in-game event story (Sasara, Doppo, Rio)

Recording Link: https://youtu.be/PCP9jVypO6Q (in case you wanna read along with the in-game voice lines and sound effects :D)

===============================

Chapter 1

Rio: Hmm… Samatoki is coming too, so I'll have to pack a second knife. *his phone starts ringing* Hmm… Who is it? *picks it up*

Samatoki: Hey, Rio?

Rio: Samatoki? What is it?

Samatoki: Turns out I suddenly got a job so I won’t be able to come with.

Rio: I see… I understand, it can’t be helped when it comes to work.

Samatoki: It’s too bad, really. I’ll surely get this over with by next time though.

Rio: Don’t worry about it… see you next time! *hangs up* I guess it can’t be helped… I’ll just go alone.

[At the port]

Sasara: Phew…Thank god the weather is nice and sunny~! Not even the tension of bad weather would’ve forced me to cut short the long-awaited Okinawa fishing trip. I’ll push the boat out no matter what. Nahaha~! Wouldn’t that be unfortunate~! For example, even if rain were to fall or if snow were to fall or if hail were to fall or if spears were to fall or if mics were to fall, I’d still weather it with all my might~! You can count on me! Yeah! You can leave it to me! Well then, I should hurry up and get this started right now by taking some pictures before we set sail! Roger that~!

Doppo: *sigh*… (I’m on the long-awaited business trip to Okinawa…. yet I’ve been apologizing so much that it feels like I’ve only been looking at the ground….That baldy….last time I brought him a souvenir he didn’t like he just called me over so I can get yelled at, which was awful… ) *sighs*…(Luckily, I was able to get a one night stay at a different hotel than the one that bald bastard is staying at… no, I bet unlike the cheap hotel I stay at, he’s staying at an expensive luxurious one…) *sighs*… (Well, to be honest… I don’t care that my boss is coming on the Okinawa trip if you ask me, but…"A man who is ‘dull’ and “gloomy” is completely unreliable" he would say, so I came here by force…) No, I can’t let my dark thoughts get the best of me! I came all the way to Okinawa, so I’ll make sure I go home having enjoyed it to the fullest!

[On an island]

Rio: Huff… looks like I’m a bit rusty… I didn’t think rowing this raft for 20 km at most would have been so exhausting… Huh… a storm is coming… I should tie my raft to a tree… That looks good. Now then, I should hurry up and find something to eat and somewhere to sleep before it starts to rain.

===============================

Chapter 2

Doppo: *chuckles* Fishing in the sea of Okinawa… This is the life, huh? I usually don’t have the time to go fishing apart from when I go with Sensei and Hifumi. Today is my chance to improve my skills a little so that I can surprise them the next time we go fishing together!

Sailor: We’re setting off!

Doppo: Oh, we’re leaving now!

[At sea]

Staff: Alright then… I’ll meet you in an hour!

Sasara: Cool! I wanna take some cool pictures! I’m riding a small boat but I’m feeling like I’m on a big boat~

Staff: Thanks, sir! No matter what, the transmitter is in the bag so there’s nothing to worry about!

Sasara: Don’t say scary stuff, man… With this nice and sunny weather, there’s nothing bad that can happen.

Staff: Right!

Sasara: Right on! *chuckles* Sometimes it’s pretty nice to get some alone time~

Sailor: Alright then… I’ll meet you in an hour!

[At sea, on a different boat]

Doppo: Yes, sir! Thank you very much! *chuckles* This is nice… being alone at sea like this. It’s a small boat, but regardless I’m having such a luxurious time! Now then, let’s get fishing right away~!

[At Sasara's boat]

Sasara: Uwaa! No good! The bag got all rained on…. Hey, where am I!?…. If it’s getting so stormy out here, will he still come pick me up… both the transmitter and the bag got drenched… Before the storm starts getting even stronger, I should go take shelter on that island over there.

[On an island]

Doppo: *pants*… In the nick of time, I escaped just before the storm got really bad, but the boat… it broke down… what do I do now…?

Sasara: *pants* ...~!Just barely made it in time!

Doppo: Ehhh! Nurude…-san?!

Sasara: Um? Oh, if it isn’t Kannonzaka-san!

Doppo: Are you also looking for shelter on this island?

Sasara: Yeah. I’m surprised we didn’t see each other’s boats. For now, let’s cooperate and look for help together.

Doppo: Yeah, let’s.

[Something is moving]

Doppo: *gasps*

Sasara: W-what’s going on…?

Rio: *steps closer* Ummm… you guys are…

Doppo: B-Busujima-san! What are you doing in such a place…?

Rio: I disembarked on this island to train. I came out here to check what state my raft was in and it turns out it was taken by the storm’s downpour…

Sasara: Let’s skip the formalities for now and focus on getting to safety… The waves are getting pretty high…

Rio: Yeah, you’re right.

Doppo: AAAAH!!! My employee card!!!!! It’s rapidly getting taken by the flow into the seaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Rio: Hum! *jumps into the sea*

Sasara: That’s no good! He’s jumping into such a rough sea!

Doppo: Ehhhhh!!!?

Rio: Huff… Kannonzaka… this must be important to you?

Doppo: T-thank you very much… Though it’s definitely not important enough to risk your life over it…

Sasara: Buddy, that was too much… 

Rio: Don’t worry so much about me, I wouldn’t say it was too much. If anything it was rather good training for me. I set up a base in the cave that’s up ahead. Let’s get going.

Sasara and Doppo: ……

[In the cave]

Sasara: Woah~ This has got to be the first time I see a fire lit up by flint~

Doppo: T-that’s amazing…

Rio: It’s nothing special… When it comes to survival skills, starting a fire is down to the very basics. I wouldn’t be able to call myself a soldier were I not able to do this much.

Sasara: I see… Even so, being an ex-soldier is amazing, isn’t it~?

Rio: … I am still a soldier…

Sasara: R-right, good for you…

Doppo: H-hey, Busujima-san… Thanks again for helping me out with getting back my employee card.

Rio: It was no problem.

Doppo: …I really mean it, thank you very much!

Sasara: Hey hey-

Doppo: ?

Sasara: Doesn’t the atmosphere on this island make it feel like it’s all just a dream?

Doppo: N-now that you mention it, this island does seem like it’s straight out of a manga…

Sasara: Maybe this storm… caused the treasure to storm out of here with it.

Doppo: ……………………………………………………………………………

Rio: ……………………………………………………………………………….

Doppo: A-anyways… Busujima-san…

Rio: What is it?

Sasara: Oiii! Don’t just ignore me, jerks!!

Doppo: Busujima-san, why did you come to this place to train…?

Sasara: Ah, they completely ignored my flow!

Rio: I don’t want to let my instincts dull, so places like uninhabited islands, that drive people away due to their harsh conditions, are a perfect way for me to work on this.

Doppo: I-is that so…

Sasara: I don’t get that at all, however that reasoning of yours is the reason that we were saved today, so all I can say is it gave me a reason to be thankful to you.

Rio: …today has been very exhausting. Let’s go to sleep early so we can prepare for tomorrow.

Doppo: I hope we can make it out alive…

Rio: Hey… rather than thinking about getting out of here, you should focus on surviving for now as it will increase your chance of making it out. Therefore, it’s urgent that we all get some rest and recover our physical strength.

Doppo: R-right…

Sasara: Well then, let’s sleep! Zzz… zzz… zzz… zzz…zzz… zzz… zzz…zzz…

Doppo: T-that was fast… he’s already asleep…

Rio: Yeah. We should also get some rest.

Doppo: Y-yes…

===============================

Chapter 3

Doppo: *snores*... Ah… *mumble mumble*. The ground is so hard that I am hurting all over.

Rio: Hm, you woke up Kannonzaka.

Doppo: Yes, good morning.

Rio: Morning. The storm seems to have stopped.

Doppo: Will anyone come to rescue us…?

Rio: Someone might come, someone might not come.

Doppo: T-that’s…

Sasara: Fuwa~a… Mornin’! Mm? Kannonzaka, what’s wrong? Why the long face?

Doppo: Help might come, but it also might not come…

Sasara: What are you saying…

Rio: Now we should still have a go at improving our chances of survival.

Sasara: Hmm… then what exactly should we do??

Rio: We should ensure we have food and water.

Doppo: R-right… you are correct…

Rio: Fortunately, there are many animals living in this forest. That’s why I think I can rely on you two to ensure our food. We can split up and I can find some water in the meantime.

Sasara: Yeah! Leave it to us! We’ll surely grub something good!

Doppo: A-are you sure you’re okay with that?

[In the forest]

Doppo: *gasps* …what in the world was that weird noise…

Sasara: Surely it was one of the many creatures here.

Doppo: That may be the case, however, I’ve never heard such an awful noise… it sounded like it might have been a terrible monster…

Sasara: Yeah, right! We’ll have monster meat today! Doppo: Even if it really was a monster, amateurs like us would never be able to catch it.

Sasara: Alright, I’ll be going by myself until you decide to come monster hunting with me. Now then, you can call me anytime you please and I’ll come~!

Velociraptor: Kuooooo! Kuooooo! Kuooooo!

Sasara: Uwoooo! A dinosaur!!??

Doppo: UWAAAAAAAAAAA!

Sasara: W-why the hell is a dinosaur here?!

Doppo: And it’s a ferocious raptor too!

Sasara: What’s a raptor?

Doppo: Come on! That awful dinosaur looks like it came straight out of the movie Jurassic Park!

Sasara: You’re right, it does look like a scene from a movie…

Velociraptor: Kuooooo! Kuooooo! Kuooooo!

Sasara: This is bad! It’s coming right for us!

Doppo: I-if it’s like the raptors from the movie, then they probably travel in groups…

Velociraptor B: Kuooooo! Kuooooo! Kuooooo!

Velociraptor C: Kuooooo! Kuooooo! Kuooooo!

Sasara: Woah! Two more came up from the front!!

Doppo: W-we’re surrounded…

Sasara: Looks like we’re out of luck…

Velociraptor A: Kuoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Doppo: *gasps* IT’S GONNA EAT MEEEEEEEEEE!!

Tyrannosaurus: GUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Velociraptor A: Gyapi~!!

Sasara: It was eaten by a different dinosaur!

Doppo: Ty-Tyrannosaurus…!

Velociraptor B: KUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Velociraptor C: GYAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tyrannosaurus: GUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Doppo: *gasps*...it’s a war of the monsters!

Sasara: Kannonzaka! It’s now or never! They’re distracted fighting each other, so this is our chance to escape!

Doppo: Y-yes…!

Sasara: *pants*

Doppo: *pants*

Sasara: *pants*

Doppo: *pants* It looks like we got away to safe-

Pteranodon: GYAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sasara: S-something followed us!

Doppo: P-pteranodon!!! *gasps*

Sasara: T-this is bad…! Kannonzaka was taken!

[Up in the air]

Doppo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Help meee~!!!

[In the cave]

Doppo: *panting* I-it was a dream… Thank God…

Rio: Hm, you woke up Kannonzaka.

Doppo: Yes, good morning.

Rio: Morning. The storm seems to have stopped.

Doppo: Will anyone come to rescue us…?

Rio: Someone might come, someone might not come.

Doppo: T-that’s…

Sasara: Fuwaa… Mornin’! …Oh, it looks like it’s clearing up pretty nicely outside, doesn’t it? I’ll go out for a bit. 

[Outside, on the island]

Sasara: Not a single cloud in sight and the sun is shining brightly~. I wonder if a lifeboat will come for us anytime soon~ Um? …what’s that?

Rio: Nurude, what’s wrong?

Sasara: O-over there…

Doppo: T-that is…a pirate ship!!!!

===============================

Chapter 4

Sasara: I-it’s coming here…

Doppo: It’s coming ashore…

Rio: …pirates, huh? That’s unusual.

Sasara: No, no, no! How unusual it is is not the problem here…!

Doppo: I can’t tell what they’re after at this point… but I surely hope they’re gonna take us back to the city…

Rio: It will all depend on their attitude…

Captain Spark: Ho. I thought this was an uninhabited island, I didn’t think there’d be any people on here.

Doppo: Well, umm… We got stranded on this island because of yesterday’s storm, which is why we were wondering if you could take us back to the city.

Captain Spark: …I was just thinking I could increase the numbers in my crew. This is great! I, Captain Spark, will prosper with you three as my crewmembers! This is really great! Doppo: C-crewmembers…?

Sasara: W-what are you saying? That’s outrageous…

Doppo: Busujima-san… w-what should we do…?

Rio: …for now, we should follow those guys’ orders. If a fight were to start, we’d clearly be at a disadvantage because we’re outnumbered.

Doppo: F-fight…?

Captain Spark: Follow me!

[On the ship]

Doppo: …………………………………………………………………………….

Sasara: …………………………………………………………………………….

Rio: ………………………………………………………………………………….

Captain Spark: Alright. I’ll give you three the "Captain Spark’s Crew" uniforms. Go get changed.

Sasara: Shell yeah! I got all sticky because of the seawater, so this is just what I needed.

Doppo: A-ahaha… T-thank you…

Rio: *whispering*…what’s going on, there’s 30 people over there… Looks like this is not the right time to take action.

Doppo: Eh, did you say something, Busujima-san?

Rio: No, it’s nothing.

Captain Spark: Hurry up and get changed already!!!

[They change into pirate clothes]

Doppo: U-umm… we changed…

Captain Spark: Alright! First thing’s first, clean that deck!

Doppo: Y-yes…

Sasara: Hey hey, where is this ship headed??

Captain Spark: As always… to a treasure island!

Sasara: I-is that so…

Captain Spark: Get back to work and finish cleaning by noon!

Sasara: Bufu! Did you hear that? T-treasure island! Does he really believe in such a thing!?

Doppo: That doesn’t matter now… *sighs*... If I don’t hurry up and go back to work I’ll surely get fired.

Sasara: Now now, that may be so, but an extraordinary day like this sure is fun!

Doppo, Rio and Sasara: !?

Sasara: W-what the…?

Pirate: It’s an enemy attack!!!!

Captain Spark: Everyone! Get ready for battle!!

Doppo: *gasps* E-enemy…?

Sasara: Looks like a different group of pirates showed up.

Rio: This is our chance!

Doppo: Our chance…?

Rio: …… *takes out a rocket launcher*

Doppo and Sasara: !!

Sasara: W-why in the world do you have a rocket launcher…

Rio: …to exterminate them.

Doppo: I-it hit…

Sasara: Yeah… and it looks like they’re raising a white flag.

Captain Spark: Well done! They fell to our canons! I’ll have to reward you somehow…

Rio: Everybody freeze!

Doppo, Sasara and Captain Spark: !!??

Rio: I am taking control of this ship.

Doppo: *gasps* W-what the hell are you doing… Busuji-

Sasara: Listen up! From now on, the three of us will be the captains around here!

Doppo: Eh, I’m a captain too!?

[They change into pirate captain clothes]

Doppo: Uhhh… I’ll have to make friends with all kinds of pirates now that we’re leading a crew of no less than 100 pirates…

Sasara: This is bad… since you had to go back to work and all…

Doppo: I’m probably already fired at this point… I’ve been absent without notice for how many days now…

Sasara: H-hey… when will we be back?

Rio: Soon enough when the time is right.

Sasara: Right, right, so let’s go back already.

Rio: Yes. With this large fleet we can take down Chuoku!

Sasara: HUH??

Doppo: EEEEHHH! T-T-Th-There’s no way!

Rio: If we can do it we should do it. If you guys too are soldiers, then prepare yourselves!

Doppo: I’m not a soldier, I’m a salaryman!

Sasara: (Hey, this is no good… At this rate we will just become the criminals of the century… Fortunately, I can see we are approaching an island… should I just abandon ship and have a swimmingly good escape…) *starts approaching the edge of the boat*

Rio: *stops him* Hey, where do you think you’re going?

Sasara: I-I can do this! *jumps into the water*

[In the cave]

Sasara: *panting* I-it was just a dream… I’m so glad…

Rio: Hm, you woke up, Nurude.

Sasara: M-mornin’...

Rio: Morning. The storm seems to have stopped.

Sasara: Yeah, you’re right! That’s great!

Doppo: *snores*... Ah… *mumble mumble*. The ground is so hard that I am hurting all over.

Sasara: Oh, mornin’!

Doppo: G-good morning… no one’s here to rescue us yet… is there?

Sasara: I don’t think so…

Doppo: Right…

Rio: A lifeboat is just heading over here.

Doppo and Sasara: Huh?

Rio: Judging by the distance, it should already be here in a few minutes.

Doppo: It’s true…

Sasara: It’s coming, isn’t it…

Doppo: (T-this time…)

Sasara: (It better not be a dream…)

[traynslations]

Ogami Banri “The Best Present” RabbitTV Part 2 - Obsessed with Clownfish?

Part 1 | Part 3

Banri: Waa…look! The sea is beautiful!

Tsumugi: Amazing, it’s emerald green…! You can even see the fish swimming!

Shiro: That’s right. The water is so clear that you can see them even at this distance…

Rinto: I’m glad that we were blessed with good weather! It seems that it was raining until yesterday.

Kaoru: There was a forecast that a typhoon was going to come, but it missed us. I’m glad, since today is the perfect day for traveling.

Rinto: Fufufu, it might be all thanks to Momo-kun and Yuki-kun’s magic! Yesterday, they were doing a fascinating spell.

Kaoru: Fascinating huh… It looks like you’re having fun as always. Gaku gave me the stamp of approval that I’m fine because I’m a sunny woman, so maybe it’s because of that, you know?

Tsumugi: Everyone in IDOLiSH7 made a teru teru bozu!*

Banri: Yes. It was displayed in the office, and I think that power was used! After all, it was made by seven people.

Shiro: I see, each group has its own personality. I had four types of rain gear on my desk because my group assumed it would rain.

Kaoru: 4 types… Are there that many different types of rain gear? Your bag was really big because of all of them.

Shiro: Since everyone went through the trouble of getting all of that, I thought I’d bring them all.

Shiro: ...Ah, I can see the cottage.

Kaoru: Wow, so nice! Look at that white building…! It’s nicer than I expected!

Rinto: Amazing…! There’s also a pool, and even a splendid terrace…!

Banri: Oh my god, the tension is rising…

Tsumugi: I informed the owner of our arrival time, so let’s first go say hello…

Cottage owner: Everyone, we have been waiting for you!

Banri: Ah, could that be the owner of this place…!?

Cottage owner: Yes, that’s right. Thank you very much for coming all the way here!

Tsumugi: Hello there, thank you for inviting us! I’m sorry that my father couldn’t come…

Cottage owner: It’s fine! It’s an honor to meet you. Everyone, if you don’t mind, leave your luggage there and come with me!

Kaoru: Thank you for your help. …First things first, if you go sightseeing, the first thing you should go to is an aquarium, right?

Shiro: Sounds good. This place is where I put a sticky note on the magazine.

Rinto: W-wow, that’s an amazing amount of sticky notes… When you think of Okinawa, you think of this!

Banri: Let’s go! I want to see a clownfish.

Rinto: Clownfish…!? Not dolphins or penguins?

Kaoru: Man, you are quite different.

Shiro: Clownfish are cute, aren’t they? I want to meet a grouper fish too.

Rinto: Grouper…what?

Tsumugi: Hehe. Well then, let’s head to the aquarium first…!

Everyone: Yeah…!

———————————

Banri: Everyone, looks like there’s a whale shark over there! Let’s go look for a minute, come on.

Banri: …Oh, it’s dark in here. Be careful not to fall.

Rinto: …Hey, I’m used to it…

Kaoru: I’m used to escorts…

Shiro: Ogami-san, are you the kind of person who always fascinates people unconsciously like that?

Tsumugi: U-um…?

Kaoru: A little while ago, he was having a blast playing with the clownfish and thought they were cute. …As expected, he’s not an ordinary person.

Banri: ……? Everyone, is there something wrong?

Shiro: Ah, no. You know about the location in advance from the pamphlet, and you don’t have to worry about where to go, since you’re used to it here, so Ogami-san, tell me how you know this place.

Banri: U-used to the aquarium…!? Maybe it seems that way because I went to a different aquarium for work with MEZZO”...

Rinto: Certainly, most people come to date spots for work.

Kaoru: It’s the same with popular tourist spots and popular shops.

Tsumugi: That’s for manager business, right?

Banri: That’s right! Thanks to that, I feel like I’ve become more aware of the trends. Tamaki-kun also teaches me a lot.

Shiro: Since I’ve started working as ŹOOĻ’s manager, I’ve also started to care about them. Back in the day, I wasn’t interested in fashion at all.

Kaoru: …Utsugi-san is the type of person who unconsciously hurts and makes women cry…

Rinto: Eh, we’re just talking about trends, don’t you know?

Kaoru: I know. I can see the shadows of many women he has made cry…

Shiro: Ah, yeah. During this time, I drank warabi mochi latte* for the first time because of Isumi-san’s recommendation.

Tsumugi: Waa~! Sounds good! I want to drink that, but I don’t have time to stop by…

Banri: Drinks are becoming sweeter and sweeter. You will be amazed by the many ideas!

Shiro: Well, it was delicious, but I wanted to have them both separately.

Rinto: Ah, there are many such things. Understood.

Kaoru: That’s what you guys are saying…

Kaoru: …Okay. Let’s go around with only us girls, Takanashi-san.

Kaoru: Let’s go to the jellyfish corner over there!

Tsumugi: Jellyfish! It’s soothing, I want to see them…!

Rinto: Ah! If it’s jellyfish, then I’ll escort you!

Banri: Are you familiar with it?

Rinto: When Momo-kun and Yuki-kun decided to live on that uninhabited island, I heard that jellyfish were quite dangerous despite their appearance. So I researched and studied what kind of jellyfish there were.

Tsumugi: It’s true, they look cute, so I might let my guard down a bit…

Rinto: Yes. As for the dangerous sea creatures and plants, I told them to be extra careful.

Kaoru: It’s a dangerous job… It’s only reasonable.

Rinto: In the end, Yuki-kun was the most excited.

Shiro: That’s surprising…

Shiro: …Wah! Wow, look! It’s a sea cucumber, it looks like you can touch it.

Tsumugi: It’s true! Cute…!

Kaoru: C-cute…is it really…!?

Banri: Utsugi-san, would you like to touch it?

Shiro: …… …Yes, I’ll touch it and you watch.

Banri: W-well, if you say so, but…

Shiro: Everyone in ŹOOĻ is also taking on many dangerous projects without hesitation. I have to do my best too…!

Kaoru: You’re just touching a sea cucumber…

Shiro: …… Now!

Rinto: …H-how is it…?

Shiro: ...It’s harder than I thought…

Shiro: Haa… With this, like everyone in ŹOOĻ, I think I was able to raise my masculinity.

Kaoru: Oh, you can’t lose if you’re manly. My group also caught tuna that put fishermen to shame on a program.

Kaoru: …Right… Ah! It was just as big as the tuna swimming over there!

Tsumugi: That’s amazing…! You caught such a big tuna!?

Kaoru: Well, we also had Ryuu. The sea was on our side too, I’m sure.

Rinto: As expected of TRIGGER! You look good no matter what you do.

Banri: Uh, we can’t lose either! We all made the dolphin show a success!

Tsumugi: Y-yes! I was very impressed with how beautifully the 7 dolphins jumped in succession…!

Kaoru: …Wait, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I’m weak when it comes to warm conversations with animals…

Banri: Ahaha. Even when we come to an aquarium, we just end up talking about the kids.

Tsumugi: Is that so… The days with you all have become quite ordinary, rather, I can’t help but continue talking…

Shiro: My life with the four of them has become the center of my life.

Shiro: …However, all of them sent us out here to the aquarium. Let’s enjoy it more.

Banri: Alright! Let’s hurry up and go see the whale sharks! And the dolphin show too!

Tsumugi: It seems that there are also events where you can interact with penguins!

Kaoru: If it happens, let’s go to them all! So that our kids’ feelings won’t go to waste!

Rinto: If you decide to do so, get all the schedules of the aquarium into your heads and let’s move on!

Banri: Ahaha! That’s our area of expertise! Alright, let’s go!

End of part 2

TL notes:

teru teru bozu: A doll that is made and hung in the window to wish for nice weather

warabi mochi latte: What it sounds like; it’s warabi mochi but drinkable (click here for visuals)

[mfenvs3000f23]

Me as a Rookie Interpreter

Describe your ideal role of environmental interpreter. What might it entail? Where might it be? What skills might you need?

I am happy being outdoors in any setting for the most part, but if I had to choose a type of environment to interpret, it might have to be a mountainous region with lots of streams and forest. I imagine myself leading a hike through a valley next to a river in the summertime when everything is in bloom and there are lots of pollinators about. I think it would be extra interesting to describe the glacial history that may have helped shape the mountain ranges and surrounding lakes. I think this was influenced by my time in Alaska, where we spent a lot of time driving between mountains, and even driving two miles through one when we went to the town of Whittier. Theres a saying about the weather being not so great in Whittier compared to the other side of the mountains, because of the way they affect the winds and precipitation. The day we were in Whittier, it happened to actually be a nice sunny day, but the guide we were with remarked about how uncommon this was and it made the day memorable. I think the weather patterns would keep things super interesting and leave so much to talk about!

For this type of environment, I would need to make sure I’m aware of risky areas along the path, for example unstable rock, large roots, or rapid waters. Something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about is accessibility in the case of emergencies. A lot of the hikes and trails I’ve done have been super desolate and I wondered in the midst of them what the options would be if somebody happened to decently injure themselves. I would need to learn how to assess risk level and manage different abilities on a hike with such potential for injury or getting lost.

I would also love the opportunity to interpret anything related to insects. Ever since my high school co-op, when I took a course on raising monarch butterflies, it has been my passion project at home. In August I had the opportunity to bring my monarchs to Guelph Bug Day and present them to folks of all ages. This was my first more formal experience with some interpretation, because it was up to me how to run the booth and what to say. Of course, different ages required different versions of the presentation, as our textbook mentioned that it is not satisfactory to simply dilute the information, but to make separate points altogether. For the younger audience I would focus on the distinct stages and order of the life cycle, whereas for the older audience I could get into the instars, or the process of forming the proboscis after hatching as a butterfly. I would love to participate in an event of that sort again, because I feel I learned so much about conveying scientific information to all learning levels in just a six-hour day. That experience taught me which facts people are actually interested in, and what isn’t so important to point out.

It wouldn’t matter how well you understand the surrounding landscape and ecosystem if you don’t have a good understanding of your audience. We don’t just want to throw information out there, we want it to be absorbed, pondered, and to leave an impression, so I think understanding the crowd is one of the most important skills to have, and one that I want to develop. Our textbook also mentions allowing visitors a choice and autonomy over their experience, which is something I would find interesting to incorporate.

Here are some photos from my time in Alaska, the inspiration behind my ideal interpretation role. As well, a photo of me with my booth at Guelph Bug Day.

[quinnsendtoend]

Day 3

(I’m definitely going to forget what day number I’m on soon)

I slept well, maybe cause it was quieter, maybe because I was to exhausted to care. It had rained in the night so my tent was wet, but at least it wasn’t raining while I took it down.

I left the stupid sand dunes as fast as I could, and walked along the beach. I will admit that my pace was fairly slow, mostly because I kept stopping to draw pictures in the sand.

I did a bit of walking along roads in the morning, but it was still very pretty. I got to wick and went to a shop to get some food, and then I sat and ate lunch. It was alternating between very sunny and heavy rain, which made putting on and taking off layers pretty constant.

There was a cool old tidal swimming pool just outside wick. I didn’t walk much further as it was along the cliffs and the weather was getting worse, and I didn’t think I would find another good camping spot.

Day 4

It was very windy and rainy when I woke up so I decided to cut across some fields to get to the road. I definitely made the right choice since the weather only got worse. It was pretty but a lot of the time all I could see was rain.

I passed through a village called thrumster (I think) which had a little museum to the railway that used to be there. There was also a pub but it was too early in the morning for it to be open. I walked about 20km to lybster where I had a late lunch in a very nice cafe. And then checked into a hotel, which was a lovely break from being constantly wet and cold, and definitely needed.

And now, the heavily anticipated wildlife update…

birds; different types of gulls and lots of another seabird that I don’t know what it is called (that may be a pattern in this wildlife update), it was black and white and had an oddly shaped beak, maybe I’ll look it up some time. I saw a big black bird that I think might be called a shag but have no idea why I think this so it might not be. Also lots of little birds on land.

Insects; (these aren’t all insects but they are going in this category anyway) there have been a lot of slugs (maybe cause it’s wet) and there were loads of little snails in the sand dunes. There have been quite a few butterflies. The midges were around on the first day, but I think it’s been raining to much since then (So far not needed to use bug spray). Also bees, before it was raining super heavy all the time there were loads of bees, it was cool I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many bees in one day other than at a bee hive.

Animals; I saw a few rabbits, mostly early in the morning. There was one fox in the sand dunes. At one point there was a small rodent which was cool, maybe a vole? (I also don’t really know what those look like). I saw an adult and a baby deer which was very cool. Also I maybe saw seals? They were far away and I’m not even sure if seals live round here, so I may be wrong.

I’ve past a couple of whale watching spots, but so far no whales. So far.

I think that’s all the stuff I’ve seen, though I’m probably forgetting something.

[bergens-adventure-tours]

Week 8: April 3rd – April 9th, 2023 // Let the solo travels begin!

Well folks, the adventures have truly and officially begun this week!  I’ve left the comfort of Hobart and the Fitzy Castle House, and am now traveling the mainland with just myself and Peg.  I’d like to start by saying whoever else has been lead to believe that Australia is always hot and sunny, I’ve got sad news for you.  I figured my timing to more or less “chase the colder weather” because I was worried of how I’d handle the Australian heat would still be giving me at least consistent sunny 15+˚C… It has not lol it’s been pretty comparable to Vancouver seasons thus far – both in Tassie and now along the south coast.  No, I shouldn’t be this surprised; geographically it all makes sense when you actually think about it… it’s just been a rude awakening knowing packing the toque was actually a smart idea and not a waste of space lol.  

--

Monday was such a benchmark day for me – I officially completed my first ever van build!  The fact that we designed, bought material, took everything out, and built the whole thing from scratch in just 5 days (realistically only have like 4-6hours at a time) is pretty fucking amazing to me.  I was just adding up the days as I thought we had done 6 or 7… I’m so impressed with how well we worked together after having never met before and SO grateful to Rhys for giving me so much of his spare time (all in the middle of moving houses too I might add).  An absolute legend!  There were a couple minor things we would’ve like to get done that we just unfortunately ran out of time for – but the overall build of the main components we wanted were completed and it looks so freaking good. Like I could not be happier with it.  And after this first week living out of it and having it organized, I feel like I can really live and breathe in this space.  It’s so nicely laid out and organized, I can’t wait to put together a proper video for you all!  After a thank you dinner for Rhys, I couldn’t get to sleep till quite late as I was FAR too excited about the van and figuring out how I wanted to organize it all.

--

Tuesday was an emotional day for me as it was time to officially move into my new home, while getting ready to say goodbye to what has been my home for the past 7 weeks.  I got an early start and spent the day putting up my lights, organizing all my gear, cleaning. The afternoon I spent sorting out some electrical stuff (big shout-out and thanks to Ethan and Lauren for your help), writing notes and getting flowers for the house + the couple who let us use their space for renovating the van.  Managed to get in one last climb late night climb with Sam+Annie before giving the house my little thank you gift.  Was really nice to have everyone home for the night, with Alissa having been gone most of the time I’ve been here.

--

Wednesday was a pretty successful and eventful day! Early start to cut my own hair, pack the last of my stuff from the house, say my goodbyes to the housemates, grab coffee w/Sam+Sammy, get some new runners to get back into running/working out while on the road (shout out to Sam for the discount!), and finally dropped off the flowers and note to Sean+Megs as a thank you for allowing Rhys and I to use their home for the van build.  Not gonna lie, I got real sappy this week…  I find I often express myself best through my writing, and was feeling a lot of gratitude for a lot of people this week.  I had many complete strangers go out of their way to help me out in some really big ways during my time here, and I can’t help but think about how different my first 2 months would’ve been had I not met Alissa back in Canada last October.

The afternoon was spent on a beautiful 4-hour drive to Devonport, where I found a nice little spot just down the road from the ferry to park for the night.  Was feeling pretty exhausted from the past week, so after organizing some food for the ferry, and blowing out my inverter trying to use my induction stove top (whoops)…I ended on an early night with some reading.

--

Ferry day was actually such a dream.  I hadn’t realized how run down I’ve been getting, so the forced RNR was very much needed.  Thanks to Sean’s advice, I went straight to deck 10 and snagged one of the only 4 couches on the ferry and set up camp.  They were surprisingly super comfortable and perfect length for me to fully stretch out and take many naps lol. Bringing a blanket, I think was my best idea.  There wasn’t much for service most of the ride, so my time was divided between napping, people watching, snacking and reading.  The 10hours flew by pretty quickly, and next thing I knew, I was looking for a place to park for the night!  Ended up in a parking lot that I didn’t realized locked at night, so had a cop knocking on my window at 23:30 telling me to park out on the street next to the park… finding free spots is going to be a bit of a learning curve I imagine haha.

--

Friday I got to experience my first Laundromat, and I gotta say, I picked a good one to start with… super clean and newer machines.  Got all my clothing and bedding washed which felt SO nice to crawl into that night.  I was back n forth a bunch between whether I begin the road trip west, or back track to Melbourne… I decided that my body still needed some rnr time, so I found myself a beach/cliff spot 20min south of Devonport, called Point Addis, and set up camp for the rest of the day to read and relax.  I managed to finish another book which I realized has brought me to 8 completed books since I left Canada!  I ended up with a beautiful break in the clouds and found my way down towards the beach.  

One of my favourite things I’ve been consciously trying to practice has been “grounding,” which is the simple practice of walking on the earth barefoot.  There’s a lot of benefits to grounding, but my favourites have been noticing the toughness in my feet build up, as well as my attentiveness to where I step.  The increased attentiveness has me focusing more on my body and the present moment, and reducing the amount of random mental chatter and wandering I have when on walks.  It’s been a really useful tool for practicing more mindfulness and meditation.  It also reminds me of all the time I spent barefoot as a kid, playing in the backyard, climbing trees, wandering the neighbourhood – it has a way of connecting you back to your inner child.  I highly recommend reading up on it some more and practicing it yourself!

After today, I decided that spending time in downtown Melbourne is not what I’m wanting right now, and with my route I have planned for this year, I know I’ll have plenty of other opportunities to visit and explore the city another time.  

--

So with that, I made the most of Saturday by practicing some yoga on the boardwalk at sunrise, getting some errands in by running to Bunnings and Jaycar (hopefully for the last time finally) to fix my kitchen set up and replace my inverter.  The guys at Jaycar were absolute GEMS! I went in with my inverter thinking I had completely ruined it and was just going to recycle it with them, but the guy at the counter took the opportunity to forfeit a bigger sale and help me open up the inverter and make just a $2 fix!  They also came out to help check on the battery and connections and ended up fixing a piece to make it work even better!  Jaycar has probably been my favourite Aussie store to work with – every location I’ve been to, the employees have gone above and beyond helping me, while making it as affordable as possible.  Can’t recommend them enough for any electronic needs.  Made some grocery shop stops in town, visited another zero waste grocery store ‘The Source.’  Then made my way to Industry Boulders for an afternoon climb! Really loved this gym.  They had some really fun routes and felt really good to focus just on bouldering.  

Made a little impromptu stop at a beautiful art gallery/nursery just off the Great Ocean Highway, and had a really lovely conversation with the resident artist there about how it’s important to remind ourselves that our creations aren’t for everyone.  Create for yourself – the people who resonate with you and connect with your work will follow.  Forcing yourself to fit a mould that wasn’t meant for you, will only disrupt your inner peace and disconnect you from the work you truly wish/are made to be doing.  (artist IG: @saltandpeppergallery).

I ended up heading back to Point Addis for the night since I finished in town a bit later and knew that I wouldn’t have people asking me to move… hopefully.

--

Sunday was a pretty blah day for me.  Woke up a bit later not feeling too great (think I’m on the verge of a cold), so I went in and out of napping and reading for most of the day.  Managed to get myself out for a little walk and make a really tasty pasta dish, but decided to continue taking it easy and spend one more night at Point Addis before hitting the road and taking on the Great Ocean Road this next coming week!

-

After finishing “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo,” I’ve begun “The Mountain is You” and oh boy am I being faced with some hard doses of reality.  It’s been a humbling read that I’m excited to share some bits n pieces with you all in the next week.

Until next time.

Stay passionate and curious, Hunter♡

04/10/2023

[dansnaturepictures]

7th February 2023: Lakeside and home

The sight of a Buzzard soaring against a perfect blue sky is one of my favourite in nature, and I was treated to epic views of this raptor which has been a long time favourite bird of mine circling around in the eastern meadows on my lunch time walk at Lakeside today with it harassed by some Carrion Crows at one point. It was amazing to watch this bird in the air, and just stand and watch in wonder and take this sight in as a great bit of escapism on my lunch break. Cracking views, some of the best I’ve ever got of a Buzzard at Lakeside. In a strong start to the week for flying bird shots for me helped by the brilliant light I enjoyed trying for photos getting the sixth in this photoset of this bird. I saw loads of Magpies at Lakeside today and Carrion Crows well, with a brilliant sighting of a Jackdaw as they do running across the roof visible from my room I took the second picture in this photoset of this bird it’s been a great start to the week for crows for me too. It was a pleasure to see and hear the gushing sound of House Sparrows on my walk and a bird that is sparrow in alternative name only the Dunnock aka Hedge Sparrow lived up to it’s name as I saw the one in the bushes of the front garden well again at lunch time as I went for my walk before it flew off. And it was a fabulous walk of finches too with an exciting view of a stunning male Bullfinch a cracking crimson flash flying into a tree. My first at Lakeside for a while and after last Tuesday’s first Chaffinch seen here for a while a male I saw both a male and a female Chaffinch in the bushes that border Lakeside to the north I’d not seen a female Chaffinch here for ages. The eighth picture in this photoset represents something unique for me, a Goldfinch photo at Lakeside or indeed anywhere as opposed to at or from home where I most frequently see them up close. I got a lovely view of this exciting and colourful bird tucked into vegetation with this bird heard well too on the walk.

In the way of water birds, seeing Greylag Geese in numbers again as I have the past few days in terms of getting towards spring is one thing, but the five Canada Geese I saw on beach lake through a clear view of from the northern path which won’t be doable as the leaves arrive was another. Canada Geese are a species that only come to Lakeside to breed really and they define that late winter/going into spring period for me here as their arrival back makes you anticipate the hopeful spring days of golden goslings from both Greylag Goose and Canada Goose. I was anticipating the Canada Geese’s first showing this year and in these days of fine sunny weather it feels apt. Also a bird of this time of year and beyond at Lakeside and home is the slate grey blacked Lesser Black-backed Gull and I caught sight of one out the window at home today.

Along the northern path I quickly spotted a mammal low to the ground disappearing quickly into a bush. I walked up to roughly where it had gone in as the walk progressed and thought I may have heard something shuffling deep in the vegetation. I am thinking it might have been a Fox which would be exciting, but the view of it was so brief I cannot hand on heart say it wasn’t a cat which you do see in Lakeside a fair bit and would be plausible so close to the houses or even - and this would be a turn up for the books for me here - a Muntjac. It’s one to keep an eye on in case I see it again though. Plant wise beautiful bright daisy on the green out the front, the enticing yarrow seed heads shadows of a wonderful flower I enjoy seeing so much at the flower bed area out the front, prominent teasel seed heads at Lakeside, the daffodil shoots in the front garden mixing nicely with a green bush, possible plantain on the green out the front and red deadnettle near the Lakeside allotments were nice to see. I was also really pleased to see not so ripe but still rich in colour ruby rose hips on a bush at Lakeside looking smashing up against the blue sky with a mossy rose gall looking beautiful in the sun I took the fourth picture in this photoset of some. It was nice to focus on the two together both things I’ve enjoyed a lot this autumn and winter. 

Seeing high dominant bramble in the meadows at Lakeside was a key landscape feature today. It was brilliant to be out in the bright and enriching sunshine again today, what a beautiful day with my lunch break at a beautiful oasis of calm in an urban area. I took the fifth and ninth pictures in this photoset of a view with the bramble mixing with the laurel hedge and a high bit of bramble and the seventh picture in this photoset of a view at Lakeside today. It was a pleasure to see the snow moon lowering in the sky as it got light this morning and see it still looking enormous as it rose over roofs just now. In one of the moon sequences I’ve enjoyed photographing and observing most it was spectacular to see. I wasn’t going to take a photo tonight but couldn’t resist, and going upstairs to grab my camera was almost meant to be as a plane flew across the moon at the right moment to get it in shot, a perhaps needed unique angle for this set of full moon shots I’ve taken making me in aw of the scale of it. Earlier on the constant sun of the day set nicely again today the tenth and final picture I took today in this photoset shows some red sky.

Wildlife Sightings Summary: Buzzard, Greylag Goose, Canada Goose, Mallard, Moorhen, Black-headed Gull seen well on the walk again, Lesser Black-backed Gull, Woodpigeon, Feral Pigeon, Collared Dove, Carrion Crow, Magpie, Jackdaw, Long-tailed Tit seen well again, Blue Tit and Great Tit seen and heard beautifully, Bullfinch, Goldfinch, Chaffinch, Starling seen well at Lakeside and home, Blackbird, Robin, Dunnock, House Sparrow and another bee which was great.

[akuutaguava]

Mars holy shit I just discovered that on desktop you can make folders to organise your spotify playlists !!!!! and it shows up on mobile too but u can only make them on desktop for some reason. and u might already know this but I thought I'd tell u anyway bc u have more playlists than anyone else I've ever met lmao

also also, I heard that you're going to australia!!!! which is super cool, hopefully it doesn't disappoint lol. and, believe it or not, in a few weeks I happen to be going to new zealand :DDD which is a pretty cool coincidence I think lmao. but yea have fun in australia :>

Ohmygod really???? Okay im spending the rest of the day organising them holy shit that is so cool !! Ty for telling me ahh

Haha i’ve already been!! It was v awesome i bought lots of manga including bsd 13 + 14 which im v happy abt lmao

AND OHMYGOODNESS REALLY VBWHSVUSBW

Im gonna like. Give you some info bear w me

there isnt…. Too much to do here… unless you really like nature because there is lots of naturey stuff you can do !!

like go on hikes and go to cool beaches (if its not too cold) you can maybe go skiing if the weather is alright ? (Queenstown is a good skiing place and its snowed there recently i thinkkkk?? so.) theres also water rafting and kayaking and the views are actually stunning !! If you go to the south island theres lots more of that stuff

Christchurch is fun and has lots of nature. Idk thats basically all you can say about it ahsh OOH also the sakura blossoms are out there and it is so pretty !!

But if you’re like me and well dont really wanna do that stuff there is some cool things in the north island !! Ive basically been around the whole country because well… its not that big lmao but i mean auckland has shops and is generally better at touristy stuff than anywhere else lmao

Hawkes bay + palmerston north and other places like that are actually like holiday towns which are always suuuuper sunny and have pretty beaches and nice lil ice cream shops so !!

Wellington. I mean j live there but theres practically nothing to do BAJSBSH i mean there are museums and shopping places but eh idk its fine its good its cool

Idk if you’re coming here for a holiday or anything but like. I kinda wanted to ramble abt nz so just to give some insight ig lmao

Alr okay sorry this is absolutely massive you might not get to do any of this . But . Mmmmm

[fucktherain]

11 APRIL 2024 (Thu) 8:59 pm

I. REBIRTH

I’m writing here as a personal journal of me trying to become better. I’m tired of feeling so, so, so sad every day, all the time, and I know others are too. I want to become better for my boyfriend. I want to change my mindset and become better and improve on all aspects of my life. Though I wasn’t dealt the best card from birth, I know I have so many things I have been granted in this life. So many things to be grateful for, like my family, my boyfriend, my friends, my material possessions, my opportunities (education, lifestyle), my experiences, and myself. I need to continuously realize and hammer that into my head that I am worth something and I am capable of becoming better. I have done that so many times throughout my life and this is just the rain that comes every now and then.

I was thinking about what to write for this first entry in the shower. I came up with the metaphor of my mental health struggles as the rain. I don’t like the rain. And I’m sure it’s not original whatsoever, but it seems to work. 

Anyway, UK weather is a fickle being and it’ll be sunny one second, then rainy the next. You’ll look outside and it’s bright and nice. You feel good. Then you wake up, and now it’s raining. It’s dark, stormy, loud, scary, horrible. You have to go out, eventually. So you do, and you put on your boots and raincoat. But those things won’t help keep you completely dry. You’ll still get soaked. Worse comes to worst, you slip into a fucking puddle in the midst of this shitty storm and your day is even more ruined. You get home and you’re dirty. You get the house dirty and wet. You feel like shit. But you feel like you can’t really tell anyone about this because it feels like complaining. Especially when this rain is constant now. You can’t see the sun anymore, and it’s been days, then weeks, then months. At first you can kind of bear with it, but this ceaseless fucking rain just won’t stop and the first thing you see every morning is the dark sky and rain, that you know you have to go out and face, over and over again. You get moody, frustrated, angry, sad. You can’t even blame anyone for it. What are you going to do, lodge a complaint against the sky? Curse God? 

– but the thing is, you realize that nobody else, at least not that you can visibly see, is going through this shitty constant rainstorm. It’s just you. You feel like it’s so unfair. You start looking at most people with envy. You wish you were that happy. You wish you could be enjoying and basking in the sun like they are. They are able to appreciate all the things in life; going on cute dates with their partners, going out with friends to the beach, hell, even just walking around normally. You hate that you’re the only one afflicted with this strange phenomenon. Now you can start to blame someone – you. You somehow did something to deserve this suffering. Everyone else is normal. They’re good people who get good things. Therefore, you’re bad and you are worth nothing. It will never get better, the way things are looking. It will rain forever.

And so on. I carried on with this metaphor for long enough, longer than I thought I could. I probably could say more. But I think you might get the gist.

Circling back to the original point, my resolve is to become better. I’m going to try to change the way I think to become more positive. I know it sounds all cringe and hokey-pokey (is that how you call it?), but only I can help myself. I’m going to take things day by day, step by step. It’s the only thing I know to keep me alive. When I think too far into the future, I get a little freaked out and too existential and get suicidal all over again. I’ll say nicer things to myself. I’ll stop being so negative. I’ll try things to improve myself. I’ll write lists of gratitude (I do that already, but it doesn’t hurt to do them more). Etcetera. 

Today, I’m proud that I got out of bed and did so many chores. I’ve been really sick (fever of ~39C, feeling hot and cold simultaneously, shivering, waking up in the middle of the night from feeling so ill, constant headaches, and now a very sore throat), so I could have shrugged off my responsibilities, using my illness as an excuse. But I didn’t. I got fed up halfway through the day of how miserable I am and I decided to begin the change. I might fail, but there is also an equal chance I might not.* 

I managed to:

cook some food (even if it wasn’t the best)

wash the dishes

make tea

organize / clean up my flat a little

clean my toilet (rough with my fever going but I did it)

clear my vacuum

call to cancel an appointment (even if I was awkward)

shower

write a gratitude list

These are not big things in the grand scheme of things, but I’m trying my best. I should be proud of myself. I am proud of myself. I am proud that I am taking my first steps. I am resilient and I will continue to persevere, like I’ve done for the past 2 decades. Yes, I still overthink, but I’m going to try to override those bad thoughts and turn them into something nicer. I will try to be nicer to myself. Yes, I still feel suicidal and I still wish I died from my suicide attempts, but we’ll ignore that. Those thoughts don’t do anything but negatively impact me. I am a deeply flawed individual but I will improve. I have to. It’s either do or don’t.

*If I fail this challenge of becoming better, I’m probably dead, and you are reading the entries of a deranged, mentally ill, dead girl. But if I don’t, that’s lovely. This can be something I look back on and it’ll encourage me to keep going. Either way, very interesting stuff.