Club Fun
A/n: this is a draft that I’ve had for a while and I just kept putting it off posting because I wasn’t sure I liked it but I wanted to put it out and see what other people think 💕 thanks for reading I appreciate it 💕
(This also isn’t proofread at all soooo I’m sorry for any mistakes)
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, adult themes and Nat being a pain in the ass
"Come on Y/n how bad could a gentleman's club be?" Nat pushed you through the doors even with you groaning and pushing back against her
"Nat I have a literal alien in my body and I don't know what will set them off" you felt a grumble in your head
"I am not a prepubescent teenager Y/n I am sophisticated"
"Only because you can't survive without me out of my body" you grumbled back and Nat really wished she could understand what you were saying to the alien
You looked up and sighed "okay let's go in"
Nat smiled wide and guided you through the small hallway to the second bouncer "hey we're Nat and Y/n, we have a table booked under Tony Stark?"
The man looked you both over the at the list seeing your names and allowing you past "please keep your hands to yourselves and don't try and get any dancer's numbers because they'll just laugh at you" he laughed and you rolled your eyes turning to Nat
"does he think we're kids? Pretty sure I can control myself around some scantily clad women"
Nat scoffed "talk about yourself Y/n, I see a hot woman staring at me I'll give her money my number, my soul anything the sexy lady wants"
You giggled "you'll get us kicked out the moment we sit down at the booth"
Nat ignored you as she eyed up a waitress walking past who gave her a wink in response "yeah yeah whatever I'm gonna go and get some free drinks" she patted you on the back leaving you alone, well with the alien obviously
"We are being stared at"
You glanced around not noticing anything "what are you talking about?"
They turned your body around suddenly nearly falling over before you managed to steady yourself "dude what the fuck, you can't just turn me around like that!" You whisper shouted at them but they ignored you
"There is a redhead lady who is looking at us and biting her lip, I think she is older than us" you were pointed towards said woman and she gave you a wink
"Oh you're right, do you think she wants us to go over?" Before you could say anything else the woman in question walked over to you "hi pretty girl, do you need some help? You look a little lost"
The sweetness in her voice made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your mouth go dry "oh-er no-no thanks my friend is just getting drinks" you glanced at Nat who was very much not getting your drinks but instead was making out with the waitress she followed after
"It seems you're friend is a little busy right now, I'll take you to your booth" she pulled you towards a booth, her hand gripping your own sweaty mess of a hand.
You were near enough thrown into the booth and the woman followed close near enough sat in your lap "how about I get us some shots? They should loosen your cute tongue"
"...okay" you whispered and the women smiled kissing you on the cheek turning around and singling for a waiter to come over with their tray of shots
"How many miss Scarlet?" The man asked and she told him to put the tray down "thanks Brucie"
He left without another word and she took a glass from the tray pointing it towards you "here you go pretty girl" she tipped the drink towards your mouth and you opened your mouth taking the drink "good?"
You nodded licking the left over liquid from your lips "yeah it's good"
The woman's piercing green eyes were locked onto yours sitting in silence for a few moments before she spoke again "can I interest you in a dance?" She asked sweetly and you shook your head maybe a little too much making her pout
"Awe are you sure? I can relive all of that clear tension coming off of your shoulders, you're too pretty to be stressed"
She stood up bringing you with her and walking off towards Nat who managed to pull her face away from the waitress long enough to talk to you
"Y/n! This place is amazing! This is Maria, she's great" her ragged breath made you laugh "I'm sure she is amazing Nat"
Maria looked behind you to the woman and winked "so Scarlet, is this your new little conquest?"
So her name was Scarlet, or maybe just her stage name, you were certain no one gave their real names out, but this Maria did? She's not a dancer though you guessed?
Scarlet's arms wrapped around your waist getting your attention and she chuckled when you jumped "don't think too hard there pretty girl" she looked to Maria "I offered a dance but she turned me down Mia"
You couldn't see her face but you knew she was pouting about you refusing a dance "Y/n you can't refuse a dance! That's the whole point of the club!"
"I know but-
"No buts Y/n! Go on Scarlet take her to a room and help her relax" Nat demanded ignoring your embarrassed face
"Whatever the costumer wants they get Natalia" Scarlet smirked grabbing your hand leading you through the club away from the safety of people and noise for a quiet private room
"You need to relax honey, I promise you're okay I'll take such good care of you" she purred sitting you down on the couch and you finally looked at her properly seeing the dark red blazer wrapped around her body
"Y/n your body is heating up is everything okay?"
You couldn't answer them instead watching Scarlet unbutton her blazer dropping it to the floor
"Holy shit" you whispered letting your eyes wonder over her lingerie barley covering her body, it was useless being there in all honesty, her breasts were practically spilling out and that's where you met her finger pointing to her face "my eyes are up here princess" she chuckled and your eyes snapped up
"S-sorry!"
She giggled coming towards you and straddling your lap placing a leg on either side "don't say sorry for admiring beauty honey, let's start with your name again"
"Y-y/n" you whispered feeling your hands unintentionally land on her thighs and she gasped "getting bold Y/n? I like it"
"You were moving too slow so I needed to help you Y/n"
You knew they where right, you had a woman, a hot woman you may add on your lap wearing the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and yeah sure it’s part of her job but you could have fun right?
“Get out of your pretty head Y/n” she brought you out of your thoughts and jumped at how you could feel her breath on your face as she whispered in your ear “so Y/n are you going to tell me what you I can do for you?
“This is all new to me so I don’t know what to ask for”
Scarlet looked over you and your slightly trembling body “how about a kiss?" She didn't really wait for answer before kissing you on the lips softly, you remained frozen until you were mentally slapped by your symbiote
"Y/n I do not get aroused or feel sexual tension but even I am suffering through this air of arousal, kiss her back"
You relaxed into the kiss sighing as you kissed her back, feeling Venom slip into your body and elongate your tongue and force her mouth open slipping the long tongue inside and wrapping around her own, Scarlet either didn't realise or didn't care because she moaned into the kiss trying to gain some kind of control
When you both had to pull away for some air Scarlet was shocked seeing the tongue lull out of your mouth "what the hell is that? Looks like your tongue had an erection" when she laughed and didn't run away from you or slap you your heart grew ten sizes, it was nice you guessed if still little strange.
"Can you even talk with that thing?" she giggled and wen to kiss you again but you pulled away letting your tongue return to its normal size
"Everthing okay?" She placed a kiss on your cheek as a reassurance and you smiled
"Have you ever heard of symbiotes?"
She sat back on your lap thinking about it "like that alien that tried to destroy the world? Are you that alien?"
You shook your head "no! No at all, I was just infect-sorry chosen to be a host for one...do you want to meet them?"
Scarlet had to bite her lip to keep herself from laughing "well this is nothing like my normal encounters here but sure, let's see the little alien"
Venom didn't need to be told twice and their tendrils appeared forming a their head smiling at Scarlet
"You are a very pretty lady miss Scarlet, I cannot feel aroused or these silly human feelings but you have a hot body and Y/n agrees"
"Venom! Just stop talking" you groaned trying to get away but you were still trapped under Scarlet's thighs
"God this is so weird, it's a good thing you're hot" she lent forward placing a kiss on your neck and then biting you there, you looked at Venom whispering "go back"
They looked at you funny so you said it again "it's a private moment now Venom"
They understood and retreated back into your body quickly and you focused back on the feeling of her soft lips on your neck.
******************************************************************
“My lips are chapped Nat” Maria pulled away from Nat who still tried chasing after her “oh come on, they’re not that bad”
The waitress gently pushed her away “you’re insatiable, I like it, give me a few minutes and I’ll take you somewhere nice”
‘Where?” She questioned
“To the best room we have, it’s got a mini fridge” Maria kissed Nat again softly refusing to let her take over the kiss again “plus we can watch the cameras for your friend”
Nat’s eyes widened “there’s cameras in the room?”
Maria laughed “obviously, how else are we supposed to protect our girls?”
She lead Nat through the club into a closed off area and through a door to a room with a couch, a mini fridge and the cameras she mentioned
“This looks like a pervs hangout” Nat commented but Maria just rolled her eyes pushing the redhead to the couch “just sit there and be quiet, if that’s something you can do”
"I prefer being loud" Nat winked
"I can’t wait to prove that later" Maria took some wine out of the fridge and sat next to the woman giving her a kiss on the cheek “okay let’s get this started" she turned on the Tv changing the channel through the rooms before finding you and Scarlet
"Ugh boring they're just talking" nat looked through the screen, she hoped she could read lips so she knew what you were saying, when she got a closer look she noticed Venom's head at the side of you "what the fuck?!"
Maria put down the wine quickly looking at these screen "what's that?! Is that a puppet? Does your friend have a puppet kink? A little odd but I'm sure Scarlet can work with that" Maria was laughing but Nat only let out a small chuckle too focused on why the hell Venom decided to make themselves known, suddenly Scarlet lent forward kissing and started kissing your neck
"The puppet worked" Maria laughed and Nat managed a small laugh "hah yeah sure" she turned the TV off instead not wanting to focus on you and your weird alien friend, she had no idea why Scarlet didn't mind it though
"Well they're boring now"
******************************************************************
Scarlet's lips moved up to your ear "you're not the only one with a secret princess"
Your smile dropped and you pulled away suddenly but Scarlet just laughed "it's okay honey nothing horrible, do you know what a coven is?"
You flexed your hands on her thighs and swallowed nervously "like witches?"
She smiled "yes"
"Are you a witch?"
She simply nodded and flashed her red eyes making you gasp "shit that's so cool!" You were memorised, maybe a little scared since witches were seen as strange or evil but a dancer at a gentleman's club couldn't be evil...right?
"I'm not evil honey, just someone who gets bored easily and needs something to do"
Did she read your mind?? You looked at her surprised and she giggled "yes princess I can read minds and yours has been a delight to listen too"
That's so weird but cool as well, so what so we do now?"
"Well, my real name is Wanda to start with, I use Scarlet because the guys like it, and for security of course"
You were really trying to listen honestly you were but your eyes kept flickering down to her chest
"You're not listening to a thing I'm saying are you?" Wanda laughed using her finger to lift up your chin "it's okay, I know what you really want" she lent forward to kiss you but a bell went off stopping her in her tracks "oooh sorry princess times up"
She tried pulling away but your fingers dug into her thighs keeping her there "but you were going to kiss me again?”
She raised her eyebrow and smiled at you "I know, I love leaving my clients on edge, it guarantees they come back"
This time Venom growled and appeared again "that seems a little unfair Wanda, we showed you me, I think we deserve a treat"
She just shrugged managing to pull away from you standing up and covering herself with her robe "are you saying you don't want to see me again?"
Both you and Venom were confused
"Because if I slept with you that's what would happen, and I'm quite enjoying your company"
"She is teasing us Y/n"
You agreed "she is"
Wanda watched you as you were thinking, and you knew she was reading your mind "you have some hot thoughts in there Y/n, a stark difference from when we first started, now come on, your friend will be waiting for you"
You sighed reluctantly getting up and going past Wanda when she gave you a small smack on your ass "hey!"
She laughed "I couldn't help myself honey"
****************************************************************
"Nice to finally see you two out of the room, did you give her the full dance Scarlet?" Maria laughed glancing between the two of you and the redhead smiled wrapping her fingers around your waist "she had a wonderful time Maria, she'll be coming back tomorrow night"
Nat gasped and you looked at her "you're coming back?! Wow Y/n, she must've given you the full treatment eh?"
When your face blushed Wanda kissed your cheek "you're so cute malen'kiy you can have my number, so call me when you're here tomorrow and I'll come and get you"
You nodded and went to kiss Wanda but you weren't too sure until Wanda pulled you in close kissing you hard
"Oooooohhhh!" Nat exclaimed excitedly "Maria did you see that?! My little virgin is getting somewhere!"
You instantly pulled back going bright red "Nat! I'm not a virgin! I've slept with loads of women"
Both women laughed and Wanda tried hiding her own smirk "it's okay princess, I'm an excellent teacher"
You groaned pulling away from the woman "come on Nat before I sink into the ground from embarrassment"
Nat giggled and kissed Maria one more time "so it look's like I'll see you tomorrow?"
"I'll have the usual room ready" she winked in response kissing the redhead again
"Do I get a good-bye kiss?" Wanda pouted and you rolled your eyes walking back to her "I never expected this coming into a strip club" holding the woman's face in your hands you kissed Wanda softly before pulling away then kissing her nose
"Hmm you're my favourite client malen'kiy"
"I have no idea what that Russian word means but I hope it's good"
Wanda giggled kissing the side of your head "Ty takaya ocharovatel'naya printsessa, dumayu, ya ostavlyu tebya ty moya"
You heard Nat soft gasp from the side of you and you whipped your head around to her "did she say something shocking?"
Wanda looked to Nat shaking her head and Nat nodded "just some sickly sweet thing about you, typical for you to come into a gentleman's cub for a dance from a stripper to come out with a potential partner"
You shrugged "hey I can't help it if I have incredible game"
The group burst out laughing even Wanda joined in making you pout
"Y/n I love you I really do but you're really terrible with women, I'm surprised Wanda actually made out with you"
You blushed hard leaner closer into Wanda "yeah well fuck you Nat" okay it wasn't the best comeback but its the only one you could think of
"It's okay Y/n I thought that was a very good comeback" Wanda kissed your cheek "okay honey, I've got to go back to work"
You started to talk back but a finger shushed your lips "I still need money my love but I want you back here tomorrow okay?"
You nodded "I'm definitely coming back all the time Wanda, I'll sit in the corner with a snack"
Wanda held in a giggle rubbing your shoulder "oh honey I don't think my clients would enjoy that"
"Then they'd to keep their hands off of you" you retorted and Wanda laughed "my little possessive girl don't worry, you'll get the special private dances"
It was your turn to blush hard again and you had to keep yourself steady "o-oh okay cool yeah! Great"
Nat laughed “you’re a mess, come on idiot let’s go”
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Misery Loves Company. (18+)
Simon Riley, the Lieutenant... is a lonely man, his existence shrouded in a cloak of solitude as harsh as a brutal winter. The closest definition he has to a friend, has succumbed to death after a mission gone horribly wrong.
There are no living family members to confide in or visit during his deployment breaks—no home to return to. It is pathetic, truly; a lieutenant of the special forces, his wallet brimming with wealth, his bank accounts similarly bloated. Yet, he finds no comfort in material possessions. He has never been a large spender. He prefers the minimalistic; purchasing only what he needs.
“You should try it. You won’t regret it, sir,” says a cheeky, younger sergeant, smiling as he passes by Simon; his hands nonchalantly tucked in his pockets. Simon is already familiar with the suggestion.
Perhaps it would help; perhaps it wouldn’t. But it feels—pathetic—to hire a woman solely for emotional company.
He's done it now. For weeks. With the same woman.
She’s kind enough. Kind enough to take care of a pathetic, desperate, lonely man like him.
He pays her well, of course. It’s not as if he’s a man without resources. The lieutenant’s wallet bulges with a hefty stack of pounds, after all. He wouldn’t have hired her otherwise. He’s not a man of charity. There are no women like her waiting in his apartment on the other side of the base. Instead, there is a cold, empty dwelling; the furniture a few pieces of bare essentials, sparsely scattered about. He’s not a man who enjoys frivolous decorations. He pays her to act like a girlfriend, to pretend she cares for him.
“Have a decent day today!” she texts him every day, without fail.
And he knows the kindness is fake. They are words; nothing more. There is no feeling behind them, no meaning. He is not so naïve to think otherwise. She only cares because he is paying her; because he is the customer. That is all. There is nothing else to it.
“I’m off to class today. Hope you have had your breakfast already! 🤍🤍🤍!" She signs off with that. Always with a heart that follows her every message. A silly little emoji to convey affection. It is a gesture that only serves to further grate his nerves.
The lieutenant lets the phone buzz for a few more seconds, the constant ringing loud in the solitude that is his office. He pays no mind.
With a resigned sigh, he finally picks up the phone, his eyes quickly skimming through the text on the screen. He does reply this time. A simple “okay” is all he types. He doesn’t want to get attached.
That’s always his fucking fault. He’s too… paranoid. Distrustful.
He has never been close to anyone in his life. He cannot remember the last time he called anyone a true friend, save for Johnny, or the last time he allowed himself to be open to a relationship. No girlfriend. Not now, or ever before. A man like him can never afford to have something holding him down, not when what he does is too dangerous.
It is why he has been in this miserable arrangement. He cannot afford the emotions that come with a real relationship. What he has now is fine. What he does now is a simple transaction—nothing more and nothing less. But.
He needs something more. He hopes she could be… well… understanding enough.
He knows she doesn’t do sex for pay. But he hopes a few thousand pounds could sway her.
It's been a long time.
It is a desperate attempt. His body has its needs; his hormones raging from all the pent-up sexual aggression. He has been on back-to-back missions since the beginning of the year, with no downtime to relieve himself.
A few thousand pounds is nothing to him. He can afford it. He has the money to spend.
“I have an offer," he pauses, "I'll give you double your usual rate if you let me fuck you," he types, his fingers gliding across the keyboard with a cold precision.
A momentary pause lingers, and a flicker of hesitation crosses his mind. He feels a twinge of foolishness, but it quickly dissipates. Guilt is a foreign concept to him.
She hesitates, unsure of how to respond. The coldness of the situation sends a chill down her spine.
"Uh... what exact number?" she manages to type, her uncertainty palpable.
"5000 pounds," he confidently replies, his fingers dancing across the keys without a hint of hesitation. It means nothing. 5000 pounds. He can’t remember the last he spent on anything that expensive. It is pathetic; to be reduced to such a lowly beast by needs of the flesh; when he can simply relieve himself in the showers like he usually does.
The lieutenant bites his bottom lip. It is an insane gesture. He is crazy to even be willing to spend that much on such a thing..
"I'm not experienced. I'm not a skilled... professional in that regard," she confesses, her texts laced with vulnerability.
“What do you know, then?”
How many men has she been with in the past? His jaw tenses as he waits for her reply. The lieutenant does not know why he feels this sudden bout of jealousy; this sudden sense of possessiveness.
“The basics…”
“What’s the most you’ve done?” The lieutenant is tempted to add that he’s not a gentle man in the bedroom; that he wouldn’t be able to hold back on her if they were to get intimate. But. She would probably think he's insane.
“The usual. Vaginal. Hand and mouth stuff. But… I did it last 2 years ago.”
He is relieved to hear she has not had sex in a long while. His fists are clenched on the table. He hopes it wasn’t with anyone she was in a relationship with. And he’d prefer it if her past partners were nobodies; random men she’d met during a quick night out.
But that’s not the lieutenant’s business, anyway. They are not dating.
“I am… not a gentle man, darling.” He presses send; his fingers hesitating as he waits for her reply. He can feel the muscles on his shoulders tensing.
“It’s fine with me…” She was shitting bricks at the moment.
“Come to the hotel after your class.” He adds.
Now, she finds herself in the dimly lit confines of the hotel bedroom, the air heavy. Tension hangs in the atmosphere, as if the very room itself holds its breath. Her naked form lies before him, vulnerable and exposed.
It's a cheap hotel room, the one they frequent. The kind soldiers use on their leave-out days when they get too frisky with their hired company. The bed is old and creaks with every slight movement, its springs and mattress squeaky and worn. The carpet, once plush, is now threadbare and stained, bearing the marks of countless forgotten nights.
It is an insane gesture. The lieutenant can’t remember the last time he had someone like this in his bed. The last time he got out of a long dry spell. What he has with her is a contract; a business transaction. This is not love. There is no love between them. The lieutenant does not know why he even feels a little guilty. But. He quickly pushes the thoughts away. No need for them.
She nervously toys with her lower lip, her gaze locked on him as he slowly undresses.
He is large. His shoulders are broad and thick. His hands, capable of ripping a man’s head off bare handed. He’s not the gentle type. Or the tender type. He’s far from that.
He is all muscle. And it is obvious he works out. His body is all solid muscle; his body littered with old scars and new bruises from past missions.
“Can… can you be careful at first?”
He nods. “I’ll be careful,” he says. He doesn’t know why he’s going so gentle with her. He doesn’t know why he’s even indulging her now, considering how much he’s paid her to have her tonight. But he cannot stop.
It’s awkward. He is a stranger to her. They are not close like a boyfriend and girlfriend. He doesn't know her—or how much she has let other men do to her.
But it feels like she’s known him for a long time. Maybe it’s the way this connection between them is mutual; how they are both desperate for each other in this twisted little way.
Maybe it’s the thrill of it. The cheapness of it… the fact that they’re strangers doing this to each other. The way the bed creaks under their weight.
She feels his length between her legs, a moment of anticipation that hangs heavy in the air. With closed eyes, she surrenders herself to the sensations, her breath hitching in response. He isn't known for his gentle touch, not even with women. The coldness of his demeanor is unwavering, yet there's a nagging feeling deep within him that defies reason.
She is a stranger, an enigma to him. To treat her as if she were the love of his life would be absurd, and yet, a strange sense of protectiveness tugs at his heart. It compels him to take care of her, to protect her in this moment of vulnerability. Her hands grip the bedsheets tightly, her head tilting back, exposing her delicate neck.
"Relax," he whispers quietly, his voice barely audible. His eyes remain fixed on her, absorbing every detail, every reaction. She appears so small beneath him, a precious creature in his eyes. Her beauty captivates him, fueling his desire to possess her.
"Yeah… I will," she responds, her voice laced with a mix of anticipation and a hint of discomfort. Her body tenses as he slowly enters her, stretching her to accommodate his eager cock. A whispered praise escapes his lips, his grip on her wrists firm as he locks them together, pinning them above her head. His fingers coil around her slender wrists, exerting his dominance. His free hand reaches up, gently brushing strands of hair behind her ear, a tender gesture in contrast to the intensity of their exchange.
Soft cries escape her lips, a symphony of pleasure and surrender. He revels in the tightness that surrounds him, relishing in the sensation of her warmth engulfing him. His lips graze the sensitive skin of her ear, his voice a low rasp against her flesh. "You're so tight around me, darling," he murmurs, his breath tickling her. He buries his face in the curve of her neck, his teeth applying a gentle pressure, marking her as his own.
She sinks her teeth into her lip, the force causing it to split, mingling the taste of metallic blood with the thick, heady air. Every twitch, every subtle movement of her body, sparks a surge of tension coursing through his veins.
"Fuck... you feel so damn incredible, darling," he grunts, his voice dripping with a frigid intensity.
He tucks her legs up to her chest, exposing her throbbing cunt to his hungry gaze. With a primal instinct, he plunges his thick cock deeper inside her, feeling a hitch in his breath as the sensation overwhelms him. It's been far too long since he's felt this level of pleasure, and it ignites a fire within him.
"Sweet lord..." he whispers, his voice laced with a mixture of awe and dark desire. He releases her wrists, wrapping his arms around her petite form, pulling her closer against him.
She curls her fists, her knuckles turning white as she punches the mattress in response to the powerful intrusion. Her body trembles under the force of his relentless thrusts, each one pushing her closer to the edge of ecstasy. The vulgar bulge on her small tummy, sends a shiver of arousal down his spine.
And he should feel shame. He should feel disgusted at the obscene, vulgar display they both have going on right now, the way they’ve lost total control over their senses and instincts, their bodies lost in pleasure and passion.
But he does not feel shame. After making them both come undone, they lay spent on the creaky mattress. The lieutenant stares up at the ceiling, a strange sense of clarity washing over him. He glances at her. She is curled up to his side, her breath still rapid and erratic. She turns her back to him.
She feels dirty. Disgusting. He doesn't know why he feels a sting as he watches her turn away. The lieutenant watches her silently, feeling a protective instinct resurface. The overwhelming desire to reach out and wrap his arms around her, to pull her closer.
She lays there in shock.
She told herself this would never, ever happen. He doesn’t know why he feels such a strong desire to tell her it’s okay, that it’s going to be alright. He tells himself he does not know her, does not feel anything for her. But deep down, he knows it is a lie. He does know her, and he does feel something for her. And for the first time, his instinct and emotions overpower logic and common sense. The lieutenant takes her into his arms.
He hears her deep breathing. "I’m here, darling. I’m here," he whispers as he holds her close, feeling her heart racing against his chest. "I’m here, darling. I’m here," he whispers again, sensing her struggle to hold back tears. "Shh… it’s okay." He runs his fingers through her hair soothingly, holding her tighter. "You’re safe with me, darling. I’ve got you."
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this is so random but I dunno, you seem wise. If you don’t have any response or advice, then that’s quite alright, it’s not like this is your responsibility.
I’m in a dilemma where I am so attracted to this girl(I say girl not woman because we’re both teenagers) but I don’t know if I could have any kind of intimate relationship with her that wouldn’t be me using her. As in, even if she consented, I think she might just be too vulnerable and I’m not.
Because I believe that that wouldn’t be right, because I don’t think it would be ethical, I’ve decided I shouldn’t proposition her. But how should I move forward with these feelings? They’ve been hard to cope with. She’s so cute and I’m just someone that feels emotions intensely. How should I let go and just be friends with her?
Don’t worry, I’ll also consult a therapist about it soon.
Thank you.
Wisdom? Ha. I am not so stupid as to claim wisdom. Perspective? Age? Those I will claim.
Here is my reply.
Why do you have the right to decide what she is allowed to experience? That’s very self-centered, don’t you think? Doesn’t seem like you actually have a high opinion of her, if you think somehow you’re entitled to determine whether or not she is “being used”. Seems as if you think you’re smarter/more capable/more knowledgeable, and speak of her as if she’s fragile or weak, compared to your machinations or whatnot. No idea what sex you are, but that’s the kind of thing men tend to do to women that vexes them most.
My reply sounds harsh to you? Well, good, because hopefully it will show you how silly the above situation is.
It is perfectly fine to ask someone if they’d prefer to have only a physical relationship, with extra features to that, friendship and so forth, to be added as desired. There isn’t one type of relationship. There are many. And you can build one that suits you both. You could have a conversation about your mutual thoughts and make a decision together instead of deciding you ought to choose for her.
Don’t decide things for her, because that tells her you don’t respect her agency.
Or…could it be you’re making that choice so that you never have to face actually walking up to the girl and telling her how much you admire her. Terrifying, but one of the only experiences humans seem to feel with any intensity. Don’t deprive yourself of that emotional rollercoaster. I hear it’s one of humanity’s chief delights.
If she has a vulnerability you can see, then simply don’t exploit it, but instead make her aware of it and strengthen her. That, my friend is the active form of “love” such as humans feel it. By helping her tackle those things that make her vulnerable without exploiting them, you prove you are the sort who truly does have what it takes to be a safe place for her.
Do yourself a favor. Tell her you like her and end the debate. If she says no, you move on. Because now the question is moot. If she’s interested, well then you get the fun of establishing your boundaries and deciding what sort of relationship would be equitable. With her input, since she is a thinking feeling person and not an object.
Humans waste so much time agonizing rather than just solving. To hell with fear or nerves. Just do the thing and enjoy the next phase of existence.
I advise forthright honesty in all things. Yes it can make you vulnerable to others, but it’s also something that can provide you with incredible strength further down the road. being vulnerable with someone shows them you trust them and is the basis of a relationship.
Do the thing. Then agonize, if such is required.
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