#i think the feedback i would require is to break down sobbing and hug me and rock me oh. its saving me.

[seraphim-soulmate]

me to myself, (about me), "oh man this is all gonna fuck him up so bad when he finally wakes up from the post-op fog and realizes the amount of suffering he's endured is gut-wrenching and will make him puke from crying. anyways time to go do some other random thing to distract myself bcs I obviously am not yet cognitively capable of confronting the carnage that my life became"

*sits down with popcorn to watch the shitshow "me" will have to endure once I come back to myself*

OH FUCK ITS ME IM ME I LIVED THIS AND IM GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ALL FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter One.

a/n: welcome to the first chapter of wtsgd! i’m so excited for you all to read this story and for what’s to come. please please please support content creators bc we’re doing this for free and it takes up a lot of energy to put out stories. so reblog, leave feedback, and send a message to motivate and support them. happy reading everyone <3

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 6.4k

come talk to me about wtsgd! i’d love to know your thoughts!

March 4, 2017

The trunk was filled with heavy boxes that were labeled with thick black sharpie, which didn’t seem to leave Luciana’s senses; and one too many suitcases filled with her many articles of clothing that she couldn’t get rid of—no matter how hard she tried—since she was too much of a hoarder and every piece of clothing seemed to have a lost memory in them that she tried very hard to think of, which only meant that it was worth keeping. 

A droplet of sweat leaked down the side of her face due to  her nonstop packing and heavy-lifting from her childhood room upstairs to her dad’s car in the driveway. It didn’t help that the sun was beaming down at her with every move like she was on center stage, in front of the spotlight, but it made much more sense for the sun to do that because that’s where she belonged: on stage. 

Moving to Brooklyn, New York from Cambridge, Massachusetts during, what felt like, the coldest but the sunniest day of March wasn’t the smartest move—to be fair, Luciana was never one to make a smart move, anyways—but it was one that needed to be done. Plus, all the lifting seemed to have warmed her up. 

Her destination, or now, home, in New York was one that she’d been anticipating for a while now. She had auditioned for the role as Kim in Miss Saigon on Broadway in November, and she’d gotten a callback in January for the role as the second Kim, meaning she would be on rotation to perform every week or two weeks, so the main Kim could rest. But she would still have to go to rehearsals and be on the side of the stage watching the show just in case she needed to jump in at the last minute. 

It wasn’t her ideal way of playing the main lead, but nonetheless, she was grateful for the opportunity, and she would take any chance that was thrown at her to not only take another step towards her dream, but also another learning opportunity to make her a better actress. 

Little Luci would’ve been so proud of the present Luci because it’d been her dream ever since she was younger, to be on stage and eventually, be on the big screen. Although she was far from completing her dream of being a face in Hollywood, this was a step that would take her to where she wanted to be in the future, and for that, she was proud of herself. 

As a child, Luci had been in various commercials; from being the kid that played with slime and had no lines but to just put on a big smile while the sticky substance ran through her small hands, to being the daughter in a car commercial with one line that said “Are we there yet?” with a groan and a face of exhaustion as if she were the one driving the car. She hoped that these commercials would have someone recognize her talent, to cast her as a Disney star, but that would require moving to California, which her parents were wary of. 

The commercials stopped when she reached middle school. Her early adolescent years consisted of an abundance of attitude and mood swings; Luci was a very tough and determined kid. Her love for acting had grown into a big balloon that was let go and on its way into the galaxy where no one could reach it—where no one could mess with her achieving her dream. 

She would always stand in front of her white wooden framed mirror—with delicately painted colorful flowers around the border—reciting lines that she heard from a television series or the films that she watched, and she would write them down in her blue notebook. Sometimes, her parents would let her search the script up if it was available online. But oftentimes, she would test and challenge her memorization, and listen to it by ear; testing her mind, and eventually, her memorization skills were immaculate by the age of eleven. 

It was perfect timing because by the time she was in middle school, she was able to snatch the roles she wanted when her school’s drama department held school plays. Her family thought that she would start to hate being on stage since school plays always ran until late evening, but being part of the productions had only enhanced her love for her talent, and it only prepared her for a quarter of what her future may look like. 

All in all, from a very young age, she always knew that she wanted to become an actress. The spotlight or the center of the camera was where she always craved to be. 

And she was finally making that dream come true. 

A black Toyota Camry pulled into the space behind the car that was filled with her belongings. Ren and Beatrice, Luci’s lovely parents, both get out of the car with a pink box of donuts—a snack for the road and for when she gets to her new apartment. 

“Ready, Lucky?” Beatrice asked, rubbing her daughter’s back. She was quite bummed to see Luci leave her childhood home, but she’s proud to see Lucky Luci chase her dreams. She was, after all, twenty-five and was bound to move out at some point, but to see it actually happen made Beatrice quite emotional. 

“Ma, please, don’t cry…” Luci frowned as Beatrice pressed her fingertips to the corners of her eyes. She wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulder, comforting her. “You’re all coming to New York in a month, right? To watch me on stage?” Luci asked, reassuring herself that she would see her family in a different state to rescue her from her loneliness. 

Luci was an independent woman. She could do tasks by herself, go places alone, and she wouldn’t have a problem with it; she enjoyed the company of herself. But to know that at some point she might be alone—that everyone had left her behind or forgotten about her—was what scared her. She needed to know that the people who loved her unconditionally wouldn’t forget about her. 

“Of course we’re going!” Ren exclaimed with a smile that Luci was going to miss seeing everyday. “We can’t miss our baby on the Broadway stage. If we could, we’d go to every damn show that you’re in, but that would be a lot of gas, no?” 

She chuckled, nodding her head. She felt tears pricking her eyes at how supportive her parents were—they’ve always been. If she could, she would take them with her to New York, but her one bedroom apartment and their work said otherwise. 

“Now, Lucky, don’t cry.” It was Beatrice’s turn to comfort her daughter. Like any parent, when they see their child cry, it breaks their heart and they cry too. “We’re gonna see you real soon. You can always come back anytime you want. We’re just a phone call away and we’ll pick you up,” Beatrice said between sniffles. The mother and daughter were embracing so tenderly and comfortingly—enjoying every last moment together until they got to see each other again. 

“Jeez, you’re both the same—always crying!” Ren interrupted, making the two women laugh; and he was glad they found what he said amusing because he couldn’t handle the sad moment. “C’mon here, my Lulu.” Luci settled into her father’s arms, hugging him tightly. She’s always been her dad’s girl, despite having a close relationship with her mother, her relationship with her father was something that felt like home; he always knew what to say and when to say it. It helped that she was the female version of him. “You’re gonna be the best star out there, I’m sure of it. Now, I want you to have fun, alright? The fame, the fortune, the big city…it doesn’t amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life” He comfortingly rubbed Luci’s back, holding her in a warm and tight squeeze. 

Luci smiled at her father’s words. She was always a bit hard on herself when she would mess up or forget a line or a movement that correlates to a specific line in her script. When she was younger, she would beat herself up for a sliver of a moment; she would cry into her pillow—sobs loud enough that they were heard from downstairs. Luci would think that she wouldn’t become a well-known actress just because of the minor forgetfulness her mind had presented. But Ren would gently tap on her ocean blue door, letting himself in because he knew his daughter didn’t have the energy to get up and let him in, and he would sit beside her, gently urging her to sit up with him. Once she complied, after many groans of refusals, she would be glad she did because her father looked deeply into her eyes—and it was like looking into the reflection of clear and clean water—and told her she was a star. It was only three words, but those three words reminded her to never give up and get up when she would hit the pavement of what she felt like were her fallen hopes and dreams. 

Ren would then end it with a statement of advice that had always lingered in her mind, resonating to the silent and harshful words that she tells herself. ‘Nothing will amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life.’

A rush of gratitude settled upon her as her eyes became glossier by the seconds she was in Ren’s arms. Beatrice looked at her greatest treasures fondly, a smile appeared on her face only for it to be replaced by a look of confusion. 

“Where is that damn brother of yours? He said he was going to be here at ten!” Beatrice interrupted the sweet moment she was having with her father, making them disconnect from the hug—just as Ren did with Luci and Beatrice.  

Speaking of the devil, her dear brother was making his way towards home on the side of the street, wearing a grey sweatshirt that was stained with his sweat as his earphones were nestled in his ears, loudly playing music. He loudly sang along to some rap song, breath staggered as he rapped along with his hands. 

Nathan smiled once he stepped foot onto the driveway as he took out his earphones, seeing his family look at him vigilantly. Luci laughed, shaking her head. 

“Hey, there’s our superstar, little Ana!” Nathan opened his arms, ready to hug you but she quickly stopped him, curving her spine backwards to deny his hug. Ana had been one of the many nicknames her family had called her when she was growing up from the second half of her name, but Ana seemed to have stuck with Nathan as no one else really called her that, so it was his own personal nickname for her. 

“Ew, please, do not hug me.” Her face wrinkled in disgust from the spell of her brother’s sweat from his run. Nathan chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes before turning towards his parents. 

“Ooh, donuts-”

Beatrice slapped the back of his hand before he even got a chance to open the pink donut box. “Not until you shower and change. Lulu needs to be in Brooklyn by three!” 

“Ow, mother!” Nathan whipped his hand away from Beatrice’s burning slap, although he was just playing around and being dramatic. “But fine, alright. The star always gets what she wants, am I right?” He dropped his head towards Luci, sighing before he hurried inside the house to take a quick shower and change. 

Luci giggled, telling her parents that she would be right back to go up to her room to check if she’d gotten everything, even though she knew that she had everything, she just needed to reminisce alone for a moment. 

Her feet took her up the wooden stairs, where she, for some unknown reason, always spent her time sitting on as she leaned her back against the wall and read or drew. Nathan always found it weird of her when they were doing homework when they were younger, but it was just one of the many fun anecdotes he could tell reporters if he’s asked about their childhood. 

Pushing open her ocean blue door that she never changed because she loved the color, she was met with the emptiness of what was once her sanctuary. Despite the paint on the wall changing, the replacement of furniture, and rearrangement of her childhood room, Luci could still see the baby pink walls where she hung up various posters of her celebrity crushes when she was eight. She could still see herself walking over to her Cinderella white wooden dresser as she pulled out an inflatable microphone from her drawer before she walked over to her bed to sing her heart out with her cousin. In the corner of her room was her mirror that she painted colorful flowers along the border when she was younger, and she definitely did not want to change or get rid of it; it wasn’t difficult to stir up a memory when she was in front of that mirror because up until now, she was always reciting her lines to her own reflection until the late night. 

All of these memories that Luci held within her heart would help her ground herself—remind her where she came from. No matter where her career took her, she would always be the girl that was firstly known in her room, crying, laughing, and acting within the four baby pink walls until she was sixteen, and then it changed to an ecru white. The feeling of nostalgia clutched her chest, and for the second time today—not even noon, yet—she found herself crying. 

She silently sobbed in her sanctuary. Her chest felt tight, like her heart was grasping onto the memories, begging her to not leave, to not move on. But moving on would mean being stuck, and she didn’t want to feel stuck—she just never wanted to be in one place where the walls would slowly feel like they were closing in on her. She didn’t want to be in one place and eventually hated it, so for that, she had to move on. 

A soft knock was heard from the outside of her bedroom, making Luci turn around hastily. She found Beatrice standing in the doorway, warmly smiling at her daughter, and keeping the tears at bay because she needed the comfort of her mother more than her mother’s tears. 

“My Lucky Star…” Beatrice walked into the room, welcoming Luci into her arms. “You okay?” 

Luci deeply inhaled and exhaled as she calmed herself down from her cries. “I’m alright. It’s just hard saying goodbye to this place—to my room.”’

“Oh, Lulu. You don’t need to say goodbye. I know you’ll be coming back here soon, anyways. I know you love home too much to completely stay away.” Beatrice was subtly trying to remind Luci about her love for her hometown, for her home, but her words also were trying to remind her about that certain love for her home and to never forget that love so she doesn’t stray away because Beatrice was simply afraid Luci would never want to come back once she discovered the luxury of her career. And even though she knew her Lulu wasn’t one to forget about her family, Beatrice would never admit her fear. 

Luci sniffled, wiping her tears away as she pulled away from her mother’s embrace. “Yeah, I know. Just…doesn’t feel real that I’m leaving.” 

“Sure, you’re leaving, but you’re going off to do bigger and better things. You were never one to stay in one place, physically and mentally—you were always moving, always loved learning more. And I’ve always been so intrigued and interested in how your mind works.” 

“Ma…” The waterworks seemed to be the highlight of the move. 

“I’m serious! I’m so genuinely proud of you. You’ve been keeping your talent—and I don’t mean ‘high school plays’ talent. I mean your Broadway, Hollywood, Academy winning talent. Now, you get to showcase your light in front of thousands of people.” Beatrice always had a way of boosting Luci’s self-esteem, making her ego a tad bit more bigger than it already was. She didn’t mind if her self-esteem had skyrocketed into the galaxy of her dreams, but she always reminded Luci that being humble and kind always outweighed being obnoxious and arrogant. “Now, enough with these tears. You’ve got a road trip to New York. C’mon, now.” 

They made their way downstairs and out the door where Ren and Nathan were talking about the latest basketball game of the Celtics. The trunk was closed, and the only thing waiting was Luci herself. 

“There she is! Ready?” 

Luci took a deep breath, turning her head to look back at the pastel yellow house that had kept her safe for the past twenty-five years. From here, she knew everything was going to change. Whether it’d be for the good or if things would go downhill from here? She didn’t know; all she knew was that she was going to be doing what she loved and she was going to have the time of her life doing it. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” 

The state of Connecticut seemed to pass by quickly from the car as Nathan drove at a decent seventy miles per hour; the state vanished just as quickly as when they entered. 

Luci mindlessly looked out the window, thinking about everything and nothing at once as she drowned out the music playing through the speakers of the car and Nathan’s voice singing along. 

The cars passing by, the bystanders, and the locals filled the streets and highways, making her wonder what all of these people’s stories were—wondering if they lived in this city or if they were just stopping by to visit, or if they’re just going through the state to get to the one next door just as she was. Maybe she’s had an encounter or simply passed by them on the street in a world that seemed too large but small at the same time. She always pondered on whether everyone else thought the way she thought—if they wondered what her story was or the people around them. 

The world is an interesting place and there were so many intriguing people out there, making her more excited by the minute as she takes on this new adventure in her life that would be completely life changing. Luci’s going to be meeting so many new people that, she would hope, have an impact on her personal life or career. 

“Nervous?” Nathan broke the comfortable silence between them. 

Luci raised her brows and curled her lips into her mouth. “A bit.” 

He nodded, thinking for a moment. Nathan was always one to think before he spoke, and it was a quality that some people needed to learn how to do. He quickly learned that lesson when he was in high school; one of his friends, Johnny, and him were going back and forth joking around with one another. And for some odd reason, teenage boys liked to joke around about fucking everything, so Nathan had said “Yeah, I fucked your mom, what about it?” without thinking. Johnny stayed silent, the rest of their friends were waiting for his comeback, but they only received tears that glossed over his eyes before he ran off to a different part of campus, away from the lunch tables. Nathan found him behind the orchestra building with his face pressed on his kneecaps, crying. Later, he found out that Johnny’s mother had passed away before their sophomore year started and he hadn’t told anyone, which left Nathan quite speechless, but it was a lesson that he learned: to think before anything comes out of his mouth. 

“I know you’ll do great. You were born to do this, born to be on stage. Everything you do is to greater your experience and opportunities. All the mistakes you’re gonna make, which we both know you’re gonna make, they’re gonna be learning lessons for you to continue doing what you’re good at doing; the mistakes are there so you can better yourself,” he reassured, occasionally glancing at you briefly before averting his eyes back onto the highway. 

Luci smiled, never taking her eyes off her older brother. She leaned closer to the middle console, where his right arm was resting on the padded console. Hugging his arm tightly and resting her cheek on his shoulder, she accepted and appreciated his advice, his words. They made her heart fill up with so much gratitude and love, insanely grateful and happy that she had such an amazing and supportive family who always knew the right things to say when they could sense her nerves and anxieties powering through the roof. 

“You’re gonna kill it out there. This is just a step towards where you wanna go, where you actually wanna be.” 

She nodded, looking to her right as they quickly passed the ‘Welcome to New York’ sign from the state line of Connecticut and New York, and it was the sign indicating her new home. 

Nathan pulled into the apartment’s parking garage, entering in with the code that the complex gave Luci on the silver keypad as the two watched the automatic gate arm swing up to the side, and Nathan entered the parking structure, parking in one of the many spaces available. 

Luci excitedly got out of the car, rushing to the trunk where Nathan had opened it from inside the car. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to bring the hand dolly to help carry the boxes, which meant that the siblings were going to have to carry the many boxes she packed by her own hand and strength. But luckily, some of them weren’t that heavy; most of the items in the brown boxes were kitchenware and she figured she could just drag those. 

One by one, they took one box each and headed for the elevator, where it took them to her apartment floor—floor four. Luci grabbed the keys from her purse that contained two copper keys hanging on one single silver loop and a small keyless sensor, and she unlocked her navy blue door, revealing her new apartment. 

When she entered, she was met with a door across the entrance that she would use for her coats and shoes, things that she would need when she’s rushing out the door. Going through the small hallway in from the entrance, it led her to another small hallway to her left where her bedroom and guest bathroom was; and to her right, it would take her to the kitchen and living space. With four big windows with black window frames, the natural light really came in, making her place brighter for saving electricity. 

Walking in and putting the boxes against the black cabinets in the kitchen, she immediately fell in love with the space, her space. Despite already taking a tour of the apartment a few months prior to her official move in day, it felt different being there for the second time because she now knew that this place was hers. She saw it in a different light, and she was already anticipating the memories she was going to make in her new home. The place was empty; and with every step and every noise from her mouth, the room would echo, and she loved it. There was something satisfying about the echo in an empty space that was hers, like she wanted to furnish the hell out of it, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the echo. 

“This is your new home.” Nathan put an arm around Luci’s shoulder. He got a bit emotional seeing his baby sister grow up and move away from home, but he was excited for all of the experiences and memories she was going to make. Luci looked up at him, not saying anything but smiling as she was speechless. Nathan could practically feel the excitement run through her and all he did was chuckle at her speechlessness. “C’mon, let’s go get the rest of the boxes.” 

For the next fifteen minutes, Luci and Nathan hauled the boxes from the car, to the elevator, and down the hallway to her apartment. There were about four more boxes left in the trunk, and they would’ve been finished by now if they hadn’t been taking breaks. 

Nathan’s phone rang as he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinets of the kitchen across from Luci who was sitting in the corner where her dining table would be. 

“Hello?” Answered Nathan. “What? Tonight? I’m in New York. I’m helping my little sister move here. Uh, okay. Sure. Bye.” He groaned, standing up. 

“Who was that?” Luci asked, nosy as she was. 

“That was one of the board members at Mass General Hospital.” Luci’s eyes widened. “They just asked me if I could come in tonight to teach and supervise the new residents.” Nathan was a general doctor working in the Emergency Room as Mass General back in Boston. He’s always wanted to teach with all the knowledge he’s stored in his brain—always wanting someone to learn a thing or two when they spoke to him, and this was his chance. 

“Holy shit, that’s amazing, Nate!” Luci stood up, excited for him.

He started to breathe a bit heavily and Luci immediately took notice; she could practically feel the nerves coming out of him, the same nerves she felt while going in for an audition. “Yeah, I actually have to leave, like, right now.” 

“Hey, hey.” She quickly stopped him from running out of the building and out of his mind. “Come here—breathe with me for a second.” She held onto his wrists gently. 

“Luci, I have to-”

He pulled away, but she tugged him back. “You’re going to drive yourself through the highway, and who knows what will happen, you might get pulled over and you won’t make it to the hospital. So, just take sixty seconds to breathe with me.” 

For the remainder of the time that they had together, they took some deep breaths. She spoke encouraging and uplifting words to him to calm down his nerves and anxieties that he seemed to drive himself over a cliff for, and it seemed to work as Nathan’s shoulder’s weren’t so tense and the grip on her hands had loosened. 

The two of them walked down to the parking garage where Nathan took down the last four boxes and placed them by the entrance of the complex. He was adamant on helping her get the last few boxes up to her apartment, but she shrugged it off, telling him that she was able to carry them and that he needed to leave because he’s most likely going to hit traffic during rush hour. 

“Call me if you need anything, okay? I mean it. I will drive here in a heartbeat.” 

“I will, I will-”

“Just not tonight,” he joked. “This is the highlight of my career.” His smile was so bright that it was like he was a little kid on Christmas again who just received a Hot Speed set from Santa. 

Luci laughed, hugging him goodbye. “And call me if you need anything too. I’ll miss seeing you everyday,” she admitted, a slight frown on her face. She thought she’d have the entire day with Nathan, but it was cut short due to his work but she wasn’t mad about that at all because she knew there'd be plenty of times when he would drive down to walk along the New York streets and see her perform. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, Ana. But I love you and I’ll see you next month!” He hurried into his car, and Luci watched him as he pulled out of the driveway, waving at the rear view mirror to say one last ‘see you later’ to his little sister. 

Walking back to the curb where all of the boxes were set, Luci picked one up to test how heavy it was and she barely made it upright without almost hurting her back, so she put the box down to take a proper breather. She decided to drag the box closer to the door of the complex—which saved her a few steps without completely dropping the box that was labeled ‘glass plates’—and pulled the handle of the door, only to find it completely locked. There was a slight panic that flew through her until she realized that she needed her keyless tag that she had to press against the pad on the wall to get inside the complex, so she blew out a sigh of relief before reaching down to her pocket for her key, and with just her luck, her keys weren’t in her pocket or with her at all. Then she started to panic again. 

Luci quickly walked out of the parking garage and to the front of the building where the leasing office was to find them closed, which was odd because it was Saturday, but apparently their servers were down so they just decided to take the entire day off. She rolled her eyes annoyingly, walking back to the garage in a fast manner because she didn’t want anyone to take her boxes, and so she figured that she could just wait until someone left the complex or arrived. She even left her phone at her place, so it wasn’t like she could call anyone to help her, but some sort of entertainment would help the time go by quicker. 

Sitting on the curb in the garage, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, and humming the melody from the Miss Saigon soundtrack, an hour goes by until she sees someone walk past the automatic gate barrier, heading towards the entrance where he opened the door with his tag. Luci sprinted towards the door, calling out for help. 

“Wait, wait!” The man turned around confusingly, taking his AirPod out of one ear. She caught up, taking deep breaths as she waved at the man. “Sorry, I’ve been out here for an hour and I completely forgot my key.” He didn’t say anything but stared at her, wondering why he’s never seen this woman before. The apartment complex really only had four floors, and he’s sure that he’s seen everyone who’s lived here. She noticed that he looked down at the boxes and back at her. “Oh, I just moved in.” He nodded more understandingly. “Do you mind holding the door for me?” 

“Sure.” Was the first thing he told her before stepping aside to hold the door. She took another deep breath, getting into the correct form so she doesn’t throw her back out, and began to lift the heavy box. He noticed her struggling, and he felt foolish for not offering his help in the first place when he noticed the four boxes on the cement. “Here, sorry, let me help with that. Get the door, yeah?” Luci’s heart flipped once she heard his deep, accented voice before she gratefully thanked him and he grabbed the box from her, replacing her hands with his and the slightest brush of their fingers made her flustered; he held the box tightly to his chest without much struggle. 

“Yeah, let me just get this one.” Luci grabbed a much lighter box that had all of her shoes, and held the door for him with her foot as he made his way inside of the building and to the elevator. He pressed the button with the arrow pointing up, and luckily, they didn’t have to wait for more than five seconds before the bell at the top chimed and the stainless steel doors opened. 

With the heavy box in his hands, he still let Luci walk in first, which made her smile and he followed in as she pressed with the bold ‘4’ printed on it. He held the box in between his chest and the other end of the bar on the wall as they waited in silence as the elevator lifted them up to her apartment floor, and she brushed past him when he lifted his arm, gesturing her to go first. 

Her front door was closed but it was unlocked, which only made sense, so she opened her door, putting the box next to the entrance and politely asking the man to put it next to the one you put down. 

“Thank you so much, really. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help.” 

“It’s no problem. I was the same when I moved here too—forgot my keys and was locked out.” He related to make her feel lighter about the situation since it was an honest mishap. 

“Did you go to the leasing office?” She asked curiously. 

“Yeah, but they were closed.” 

“They’re closed today too! It’s like they do that on purpose whenever someone new moves in.” The man chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. 

She hadn’t gotten a proper look at him since she was too distracted by trying to get into her building, but just by one real look at him, he was very attractive—probably too attractive to where she couldn’t think straight. He was wearing a pastel yellow and white striped button down that was a bit flowy and open, showing his white tank underneath that was tucked into his black skinny jeans. His tank top was low enough, exposing a patch of chest hair and his necklace that rested against his skin, in between his swallow tattoos just below his collarbones. Rings hugged his long fingers on both hands as he held two brown paper bags from Trader Joes. He was handsome, that’s for sure, and she felt like she was going to compare his beauty to all the other men that she was going to encounter in the future. 

“They’re not very good at going into work, but if you give them a call then it’s like they’re a 24/7 help center.” 

Luci nodded, chuckling. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“I’ll help you with the last boxes.” Before she was about to protest and tell him that he didn’t have to help her anymore because she was sure the last ones were light, he made his way towards the elevator and she quickly followed. 

To her surprise, one of the boxes was heavier than the other and she was glad that the man was able to carry it for her. They took the boxes up to her apartment, stacking it on top of the ones that were set down before she thanked him gratefully again. 

“I really appreciate all your help.” She smiled, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Not that I’m doubting your strength or anything, but how were you supposed to get those boxes up to your apartment?” He asked softly, not wanting to offend her by his words. 

“Oh, my brother was supposed to help me, but he had to go back home for an emergency at work.” The man nodded, seeming that was the most acceptable answer, not like he was searching if she was lying. “But thank you for your help. You’re a true lifesaver,” she said with a soft smile on her face. Her tone was a bit flirty than she wanted it to be, but it naturally came out. 

“It’s not a problem. I’ll see you around.” Luci hadn’t closed her door yet, but she found out that he was literally her neighbor on the opposite side of the wall. He didn’t even have to take two steps to get to his place—all he had to do was turn around and he was home. She smiled at the thought of that, glad that her neighbor was already so kind to her. 

As he was fumbling with his keys, he eventually got his door unlocked, and Luci was itching to ask what his name was—maybe make her first friend during her first day living in the big city. The man felt his neighbor's eyes on him, burning through the back of his head, so he turned around at the same time she spoke. 

“Uh, hey,” Luci called out. He was looking over his shoulder, pursing his lips as he raised his brows. “I was wondering if…you’d like to have dinner with me tonight? Y’know, to thank you for all your help and practically saving me while I was stranded.” She chuckled, playing with the tips of her fingers as she looked at him with hope. 

He thought the invitation was nice, but…“It’s okay, really. I, uh, have plans already tonight,” he admitted honestly because he doesn’t make a habit of being dishonest. 

Luci had some thick skin—she grew it throughout the years, and she had always been pretty confident. So many people would think that she could handle rejection well because she’s auditioned for many roles in her lifetime, and had been rejected for most of those roles. But the rejection that her neighbor handed to her so respectfully and politely was one that hit her the most, and she didn't know why. 

Curling her lips into her mouth as she felt the pang of her heart sinking into her chest, she nodded and placed a small smile onto her face. 

“Have fun tonight, then. I’ll see you around.” She grinned, hiding the slight bit of pain that she felt. He nodded, walking inside his apartment as she was in her doorway as well. “Oh, I’m Luci, by the way.” She introduced herself, feeling like she should have done that ten minutes ago, but it had slipped her mind. 

The corner of the man’s mouth turned up into a sly smirk, and she nearly felt herself fall as she gripped the door handle tightly. It was enough to make the pain in her chest disappear, and all thoughts of the rejection that she would think about for the rest of the night vanished. 

“Nice to meet you, Luci. I’m Harry.” 

With that, Harry closed his door, putting a barrier between him and Luci, who was still standing in her doorway. She let out the longest sigh of her life, feeling like she’d been constricting herself from breathing properly for the last ten minutes. 

Luci closed her door and leaned against it, looking down at the boxes that were resting by her feet. She softly smiled, her cheeks were starting to get warm, and she was fully aware that Harry was the cause of it.

come talk to me about your thoughts and feelings! hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, thank you for reading <3 

ty to @sunflowers-styles​ for beta reading!

[imissjoongsmullet]

My Prince (5)

Pairing: Minghao x reader

Genre: fluff/(angst)

Summary: Life is not exactly easy being the royal gardeners’ daughter but at least it’s simple. When you’re suddenly called upon to serve as the prince’s personal servant, things get a little more than complicated, especially considering the secret history you and the prince share.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Warnings: general angstiness, a bit of a slow burn, very romantic, very soft, the fact that this will most likely become a long series cause I have no chill

Word Count: 7K

Author’s Note: this is long overdue but also, this is just long! I just couldn’t stop writing and so now this chapter is 7K so yeah ENJOY!! ✌️

Let me know what you think, good or bad, I love the feedback ♥

►

Fine.

Those last words he'd said to you kept playing in your mind the following days. Technically he'd said other words since but they'd been cloaked in formalities; commands from a prince to a servant, nothing more. You'd really screwed up this time, you'd lost him forever. It was a thing you'd known would happen from the start but that didn't soften the pain now festering in your chest.

Minghao had met with Zhong Mei, as he had supposed to that day. He'd been a perfect picture of royalty, graceful and pleasant; and she'd been lovely as she always was, smiling all the way through the meal. Meanwhile you had stood flanking the wall with Tou Ma, trying to keep your tears from spilling over. You'd kept your eyes down, counting the colorful mosaics that threaded the shiny black flooring until the whole thing was over.

Not that any of it was over of course.

After the prince and his bride's first official meeting, the two were ushered out into the gardens to "spend some time alone" while you helped Tou Ma with a another seemingly endless string of wedding-related tasks.

Slowly but surely your body reverted to autopilot, working your hands raw and your legs sore. You barely realized you were spacing out until at last, you lied down in your sheets on the floor of the maid's quarters and cried. You cried and cried in stuttered silence, praying the sun would not come up again. You didn't know how you'd face another day. You thought about feigning illness but knew Tou Ma would not be so easily fooled.

*

“You’ll be out in the gardens today,” the head maid explained with a weary expression. This whole wedding business seemed to have taken a toll on the old woman as well. “Floral arrangements need to be decided on and I need you to oversee the whole thing gets done in time. Can I trust you with that?”

Your head bobbed up and down faster than was polite. A rush charged through your chest at the idea of spending time with the flowers. Despite your frequent complaining as a gardener, you’d always enjoyed taking care of the vivid, fragrant plants that grew in the royal gardens. But more than that, you knew what this request must mean.

“Mother!” you cried, breaking out into a run. She looked older and shorter somehow, but her embrace was as tight as ever.

Of course, your parents would be working on the flower arrangements as well.

“Look at you!” she said, holding your face in her dirt-stained hands, “my daughter, a real part of the castle.”

Overwhelmed with grief for the life you’d left behind, a sob welled up from the back of your throat but before it could break free into the morning air, Tou Ma interrupted.

“There is lots of work to be done so we better start at once,” she said matter-of-factly, unrolling a long piece of parchment, “I have sat down with both the royal family and the Zhong family respectively and decided on a theme and color scheme for the celebration. I have listed all requirements specifically. The types, the arrangements, the placements, all of it has been meticulously planned.” She then turned her head your way. “I’m leaving you in charge of making sure everything is accounted for on the day. This is a big task, but regrettably, I am far too busy taking care of everything else to take this on as well. And you are the gardener’s daughter, after all. Do not disappoint me.” With another one of her stern looks, she handed you the scroll, gave a curt bow to your parents and walked away.

Now this was a task you were up for. You gazed around you, at the stretches of colorful flowers that ran as far as the eye could see. There were rows and rows of chrysanthemums that spawned in colorful formations, bushes of peonies flanking cobbled pathways, a whole field of the most delicious-smelling lavender, lilies and azaleas and roses and narcissus flowers and you felt all at once, at home. For a moment you seemed to forget the prince and your feelings. It was like a giant slimy toad had just slipped right off of your shoulders, leaving you feeling light as air.

Looking over the list, you were up for quite the challenge. The sheer amount of flowers that would need to be harvested for this event, on such short notice, was startling. But with the help of your parents and their staff, you were confident you’d be able to pull it off. You spent the whole morning and most of the afternoon rushing from one end of the garden to the other, figuring out which plants would be needed, when they’d need to be cut and who would craft what particular piece. It was a little strange, being in charge when all the gardeners were quite a bit older and definitely more experienced than you, but your parents kept encouraging you whenever you stuttered.

“I’m so proud of you,” your mother said as you both sat down for a rest underneath a pine tree on a hill overlooking the garden. She pulled out a packed lunch for the both of you: rice wrapped in bamboo leaves with plum fillings.

“Mother,” you sighed, not knowing how to react. You felt like a fraud. You weren’t what she thought you’d become at the castle. You weren’t some high-standing servant, near and dear to the king and queen. You were a screwup. You’d caused so much trouble since your arrival at the castle you were quite frankly surprised you hadn’t been banished yet.

You could see most of the royal gardens from here; well, the most beautiful parts anyways. There was almost no one out there today. Everyone was most likely busy preparing for the wedding except—

Minghao was strolling through the rose garden ways away from the hill you were sitting. You could see him clearly, his upper body sticking out over the bushes. Zhong Mei was beside him, wearing a white robe with some sort of lilac pattern on it. You couldn’t see the expression on their faces but the close vicinity with which they walked by each other made your stomach turn upside down. Your eyes followed the two figures until their path ventured right and a large chestnut tree obscured your view.

“Let’s just keep working,” you said, getting up as you folded your lunch back closed and slid it in your pocket.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, child.” Your mother’s voice hadn’t changed at all, croaky like a frog but filled with warmth.

You kept your back turned to her, hugging yourself close.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“My little flower,” her voice came from behind and you felt a hand land on your shoulder, “something is bothering you.”

“I’m fine.”

She chuckled at that. “Liar. I can tell by the way your shoulders hunch,” she said, turning you around to face her, “and look, your eyebrows are all droopy.”

You shook your head. “First of all, that doesn’t make any sense and besides, I don’t want to talk about it.” You knew at once it had been a vain attempt to fend off the stubborn woman. You watched her heave a deep sigh. She was shorter than you but somehow always managed to make you feel like a baby. Her wrinkled eyes scanned your face quizzically for a few seconds before her lips curled into a knowing grin.

“You need to let go, flower,” she said, poking you in the chest with a dirty finger.

You stared at her incredulously. “Let what go?”

The old woman rolled her eyes, smiling still. “Whatever it is that’s causing all of this good-for-nothing heartache!” She patted you on both shoulders. “Go on, away with it!”

A tiny smile crept its way onto your face. “It’s not that easy.”

Your mother sighed deeply once more and turned to look out over the gardens and the castle.

“I know, dear,” she said, “the castle comes with complications these gardens could never carry. That’s why me and your father stay out here, between the fruits and the flowers. You on the other hand,” she went on, turning back to you and taking your hand, “you have some reason for staying at the castle, no?”

Your face burned at the words. You didn’t know what exactly your mother was implying but the way her deep eyes bore into yours now made you feel awfully exposed.

“You can always come back to us, of course,” your mother explained further, squeezing your hand, “but if your heart lies no longer here—”

“It doesn’t matter where my heart lies,” you cut in, taking a step back, “how I feel doesn’t matter.”

Your mother’s eyes creased as they filled with something you hated to see. Was it pity? Understanding? Whatever, you didn’t need any of it. For the smallest of moments you’d thought your problems might be solved with some wise parental advice but that had clearly been a child’s thinking. This problem didn’t have solving. You just had to learn to live with the fact that Minghao was gone forever and he’d never look at you the way he had that night under the orange trees. He’d never smile at you the way he had when he taught you how to read, he’d never touch you the way he had that evening in his chambers— or even— you couldn’t bear remembering his kiss. It was too much. It should haver have happened.

“Let’s just keep going, please,” you said at last, keeping your eyes on the grass between your feet.

The rest of the day went by like a tidal wave. In a matter of hours, you’d crossed the whole of the gardens at least half a dozen times, hauling around heavy equipment, making lists, delegating tasks and making stupid amounts of mini mock-ups of the flower pieces Tou Ma had asked for. By the time you entered the castle, you were so exhausted you thought you might just crash in a closet on the way to your room. The hustle and bustle inside the castle walls had died down as well. Aside from the occasional servant, the dark hallways were deserted and quiet. Yawning freely, you shuffled your way through them, only to get startled by the sudden noise not so far away.

“Silence, son,” a voice whispered irritably, “the castle is asleep.”

“I’m sorry.”

Hao.

Without thinking, you approached a door you’d passed before. You didn’t know what lay behind it, only that, right now, it was being occupied by the emperor and his son, prince Minghao.

“You’ve heard by now the protests haven’t seized I assume. We’re losing not only the Shingmin people but all the highlands. I have tried to protect you from your destiny for far too long I’m afraid.”

There was a long pause. You felt the pain of it right through the wood of the door.

“My son,” the emperor added wearily, “I did not want to leave this country to you on the brink of war. But the season of peace has run out. You are young and overly frivolous at times but we must believe you are capable. It is time to stop thinking about yourself and take on the responsibility you’ve always known was yours to take on. You have the power to free us all. Your legend will be told for centuries to come.”

“My legend,” Minghao spoke at last. His voice was dry and void of emotion. You wanted to go to him. You wanted to help but you didn’t know how.

Krrrr

The floorboard creaked under your feet as you’d subconsciously leaned in closer to the door. There was no way they hadn’t heard that. You pushed away from the door and set off at a run, heart racing, all the way to the maid’s quarters.

Your covers were warm and your eyelids heavy but regardless, you couldn’t seem to find your way to sleep. You tossed and turned until you were sure your hair would be a rat’s nest the following morning. Your body was lying on the floor, between dozens of happily snoozing servants, but your mind was still at that door, listening in. You knew Minghao wouldn’t appreciate it but you felt sorry for him. The weight resting on his shoulders was colossal compared to the slimy toad that tended to bother yours. His legend was beyond famous. Every person in Namin knew it like they knew the color of the sky. Every person in Namin was counting on him. You could tell by the way they looked at him. He was a savior to them. But he was just a boy. You knew that. He knew that. He was a boy, desperately trying to figure out how to live up to a legend that was born with him; a boy trying to solve an impossible riddle, trying to unlock some big secret, trying to somehow heal an entire nation.

All these thoughts floated haphazardly through your head, bouncing and clashing within the walls of your skull until, sudden as a bolt of lightning, they clicked together.

A Vast Unfathomable Secret.

That’s what the book must have been for all along. You shot up from the floor, wide awake now, and set off towards the prince’s library.

It made so much sense you cursed yourself for not seeing it before. You burst through the heavy oak doors and went to light a candle. The room looked beautiful at night, moonlight shining through the circular windows, casting hazy glows on the walls of books.

You had no idea how to start. You’d searched for this book so many times. Then again, you hadn’t been able to make your way through the entire room yet. Filled with stubborn determination, you grabbed your candle tightly and climbed up to a section you hadn’t explored yet. You could read the spines now, thanks to Minghao. In this particular section alone were books about geography, fortune telling, animals and plants you’d never even heard of, as well as poetry. You were tempted to open some of them but knew you had a more important goal. You made the mental note of reading as many books as you possibly could when all of this was over; if Minghao would continue allowing you to come here, at least. 

When the first section revealed nothing, you moved on to another, and then another. You’d finish off the whole room before you’d give up. You had to help the prince in any way you could; if you couldn’t be with him, at least you could still be of use to him.

*

When you woke up, bright sunlight was already streaming into the room generously and your body ached in all kinds of places. You immediately knew you were in trouble. You’d fallen asleep slumped against a bookcase and were now most likely extremely late for your appointment in the gardens.

Tripping over your tunic, you burst through the library doors and onto the long deck. It was a humid and hot day. Up ahead in the distance, like tiny brown specs against the vibrant green grass, were the gardeners’ huts, where you were supposed to meet with everyone to start harvesting and putting together the flower pieces for the wedding.

Oh shoot, the wedding. The wedding was tomorrow. It was actually tomorrow. Not wanting to waste any more time than you already had, you jumped over the railing and tumbled into the grass below. One of your feet landed in something wet but that didn’t matter now. You ran to the huts, not caring about how the long grass and prickly bushes dirtied your clothes, but when you finally arrived, panting like a dog, there was no one there. Instead, a note hung lifelessly on your parents’ door.

Flower We’ve gone ahead and started harvesting See you soon

A huge wave of gratitude coursed through you at those words.

Thanks mother

You raced through the gardens, catching up with everything that was going on.

Thanks to your parents, you were still somewhat on schedule. Aside from delegating tasks, you helped in creating bouquets and garlands and wreaths in rich oranges and reds, as well as deep pinks and purples. The air was sticky and dense. Sweat crawled down your temples as you worked beside your parents, but you were glad for the hard labor; it distracted you. Your nails blackened and your hair filled with twigs and pollen. It felt good. You were surprised when the sun had only just started going down as the last of the decorations got finished.

“Don’t underestimate us,” you dad said with a grand smile, “I don’t know how you fancy people do it at the castle, but we work fast.”

You smiled back at him, glad to have made it in time.

You moved the decorations to a safe place they could be preserved until the morning, which took another hour or so but after that, you were all done. Tou Ma hadn’t even given you any other tasks for the day, which meant, you were free.

All at once, an unavoidable exhaustion took over you. The hot sun and humid air had drained your body that had grown unaccustomed to the life of a gardener. Another reason was probably the fact that you’d slept propped up against a bookcase the night before. A hot bath sounded amazing right about now. And after you might even be able to take a nap? Yes, that sounded good. You needed sleep.

Sighing and panting, you dragged yourself back to the castle. Instead of the main entrance, you chose a smaller door on the left wall that was meant for servants mostly. Coming around the corner you let out a sudden gasp, finding the door blocked by a broad-shouldered man with a long scar across his cheek.

“Identify yourself,” he said sternly, looking your muddy form up and down. The side door had never been guarded before. You supposed it was another wedding-related thing.

After explaining who you were and what you’d been doing outside, the man stepped aside, grunting something inaudible as you passed. Whatever, you thought, entering a modest-looking corridor. At least you’d be able to reach the maid’s quarters without running into—

“WHAT IS THIS MESS?!”

Tou Ma.

The tall lady strode towards you, looking like an underfed but furious bull.

“Look at the floors, they have been polished just this morning and now!” her voice reached a crescendo, “look at this! You want me to seizure!?”

"I'm sorry," you blurted out, "I've been preparing the flowers and—"

"Are they done?"

"They are—"

"So something has gone right today at least! Honestly it's suffocating, all this work in so little time I swear the emperor wants me to lose my marbles I've still got so much to do, this whole thing is ridiculous! Could they move the wedding to next week so the castle can prepare to its fullest abilities? Probably but will they? No, no of course they won't that would make my job too easy, wouldn't it?!"

You were staring into the face of a deranged woman. Tou Ma was sweating the white powder right off her face, fanning herself for dear life.

"Um," you tried, once the woman seemed to be taking a break to catch her breath, "is there anything I can help with?" You regretted the offer the moment the words left your lips but you couldn't stand seeing her this way. No matter how much the vile old woman tormented you, seeing her usually strong personality weakened like this made you feel sort of bad.

Tou Ma eyed you suspiciously for a few moments before she caved.

"Very well," she said, "you will run an errand for me. In my haste I forgot to bring the empress' scarf out with the rest of her robes for the celebration. They need to bask in the moonlight tonight."

"Of course," you replied, though you had no idea what she was talking about. Wealthy people really did have all kinds of strange rituals.

"They will be in her private chambers," she went on, "I'd fetch them myself but I'm on my way to a meeting with the chef and I've yet to go over the guest list with security and her majesty will need her bath before nightfall and I haven't had a scrap to eat since sunrise and—"

"That's alright," you cut in, for the head maid was panting again, "I'll grab her scarf and bring it to the deck, I guess?"

"The south east deck on the top floor, child, that's where we're leaving them out," Tou Ma explained, clutching her chest.

"Got it," you said, turning on your heels.

"It is a scarlet thing," Tou Ma call after you, "silk with gold-thread details."

"Okay," you called back as you made your way down the corridor.

"Child!" her screechy voice cried before you could round a corner, "I beg of you, wash up first will you?"

You did as you were told and had your bath. It was not the long, relaxing bath you'd hoped for but it did manage to wash away some of the exhaustion from your body. You allowed your muscles to relax for a few minutes, hopped out and hurried towards the royal quarters. You'd only ever visited Minghao's chambers; his parent's area was completely new territory. The place was guarded heavily by men who only let you in after a thorough interrogation and once inside, you realized you had no idea of where to look for the scarf.

You were in a rectangular room with shiny, red-toned walls and floors. It was completely bare save for the golden candelabras that lined the walls. Two black and gold doors that faced each other waited for you.

Clueless, you tried the first door. You knocked twice and waited until you were sure you weren’t disrupting something. When nothing happened, you opened it. You were met with complete darkness. With a bit of a struggle, you pulled free one of the candelabras from the hallway and entered the dark room.

It was extremely minimal. There were no windows. Only a simple bookcase and a large writing desk. Scrolls of parchment and bottles of ink lay spread out across it. Seeing them made you feel suddenly feel as though you were seeing something you weren’t supposed to. This was the emperor’s private study.

Backing away fast, you found yourself in the hallway once more. You tried the room opposite the study, entering after knocking. This room was anything but dark. The whole west wall was non-existent, giving sight to stretches of grassland and the mountains up in the far distance. As the sun set, it cast a breathtaking pink veil over the master bedroom. The bed, sitting on a raised platform was impeccably made. You could just envision Tou Ma arranging the perfectly white pillows by size, making sure not a single crinkle was left in sight. The room was so clean though, you couldn’t imagine the scarf would be here. There was no closet or dresser for it to hide in either, however, there was a small doorway in the corner of the room, half-covered by a silk curtain. As you approached you smelled the sweet aroma of incense. Gently pulling back the curtain, you peered inside, finding a room that was more or less the same size as the bedroom, but which felt smaller due to the abundance of stuff that was in it.

The walls were virtually covered with dressers, all identical, ornate and black lacquered. There were ottomans in various jewel tones on which piles of discarded robes lay, and in the corner stood a intricately carved wooden vanity with a mirror that reached the ceiling.

This must be it, you thought as you entered. You carefully went through the clothes on the stools. You wished you had time to admire their craftsmanship but Tou Ma’s exasperated expression kept your mind on the mission at hand. The vanity was cluttered with all kinds of trinkets you’d never seen before. You supposed there were the creams and powders used for beauty purposes. There were a couple of small drawers that opened to reveal more beauty products and a couple of scarves that clearly weren’t the one you were looking for. You began to feel tired again. Gingerly, you sat down in front of the vanity. Gazing at yourself in the mirror it occurred to you how much you didn’t belong in a room like this. You let your eyes drift over the the reflection of the cluttered space, until they landed on something they hadn’t noticed before. There was an unlocked chest sitting in a corner by the entrance. Multiple colored fabrics were spilling out from its mouth. You rose up and hurried over. There were so many scarves it was hard to make out where one piece of fabric ended and the next began. Getting impatient, you started pulling out the contents of the chest, keeping a lookout for anything scarlet and gold. Your heart sank however as you were reaching the bottom without having found something that even remotely looked like the empress’ wedding scarf. Not before long, the chest was empty, except for something dark and solid that lay all the way at the bottom, and bunches of fabric lay all around you on the floor.

What were you going to do? You’d promised Tou Ma.

Sighing, you peered into the chest. You now noticed the leftover item was a small book. You knew you should leave it alone; this was clearly an item the empress liked to keep to herself, but your curiosity got the better of you. You pulled the book out of the chest and held it up to the light. It was a small book, the brown leather cover a bit tethered and the gold writing on the front slightly faded. The golden lily, however, was still unmistakable.

You heart lurched as the title registered in your mind.

A Vast Unfathomable Secret.

It was right here in your hands; exactly as Minghao had described it. What wisdom was inside this little, brown book? And why was it here, in the empress’ wardrobe of all places? Nevermind. You forced your questions behind closed doors. None of those things mattered right now.

This was it: your chance to help Minghao.

*

You were at his door in no time and in your haste, you didn't even pause to knock before coming in.

"Minghao, I found it! I f—" you gasped as something warm crashed into you, sending you to the floor.

Minghao stood over you with a blank stare on his face. The coldness in his eyes sent a pang of doubt through your system. You shouldn’t have barged in like this. What were you thinking? Just as you were about to apologize and leave however, his eyes landed on the book clutched tightly in your hand. They widened, his eyebrows crinkling slightly, his lips opening in stunned silence.

"I found your book," you tried again, barely able to look at him.

Nothing happened for a good few seconds in which you wondered whether Minghao had fallen in some sort of trance, but then he knelt down beside you and took your hand. Your heart leapt as he pulled you up. His hand was so warm.

“You—” he said, staring from you, to the book held between you and then right back up to you. You noticed his eyes start to burn with intense emotion. He looked happy at first but you soon realized there was much more than joy behind his expression. He stared at you unblinkingly, standing perfectly still as a statue, but clearly waging a violent war within himself. You thought for a moment he might cry, his eyes turning sadder and sadder until, to your surprise, his lips formed the tiniest smile and he let out a sigh. You had not a moment to react to this strange turn of events because the next thing he did was grab tight hold of both your arms and kiss you.

This was nothing like the kiss you’d shared in the gardens. This kiss was the unleashing of desire. He held you close as his lips claimed yours with desperation. He did not let go when you thought he would and neither did you want him to. The book lay forgotten on the floor as, at last, you were all his. You felt his hand move up to your face, brushing a bit of your hair back, then cupping you by the back of the neck, begging you to stay close for those few last moments before, inevitably, reality struck.

He pulled back abruptly, looking completely stunned.

“You can’t tell anyone,” he said, his face swiftly filling with hurt again.

“Hao,” you replied, out of breath yourself, “wait,” because the prince was already pushing past you.

“I have the final wedding rehearsal,” he said, hurrying out the room before you could do anything to stop him.

You stood with yourself in quiet for quite some time, staring at the door.

Emotions were starting to bubble up inside you but you were so sick and tired of crying you forced your tears at bay by focusing on the only thing that could possibly distract you right now.

The book was still on the floor and now, it was begging to be read.

You sat down on the floor and picked it up. It didn’t feel heavy at all. You always imagined the book Minghao had been looking for would be huge; some grand exposition of wisdom. Maybe battle techniques? Or secret information on dragons, perhaps? But what could a tiny book like this one do to save an empire, or in the least, its prince? Heart pounding, you opened it, only to stare in confusion at something that made no sense to you at all.

Once upon a time, it read.

Once upon a time, there was a mountain. On that mountain stood a castle so tall it could reach the clouds in the sky and in it lived the great ruler. The ruler was very proud of his castle, because it stood taller than any other castle. The inhabitants of the castle sometimes complained about the cold winds that blew through the windows. They muddled up their long hair and blew away their paperwork. But of course this was all worth the magnificent views they got when they looked outside, according to the ruler. At the bottom of the mountain was a cave that lead to a whole underground town. In that town lived many people. Their days were clouded in darkness but the earth around them kept them warm and safe. One night, the ruler’s son was asleep when the wind whooshed right into his bedroom. It picked him up like a newborn baby and took him out through the window. The son shouted and cried for help but no one could hear him over the raging wind. The little boy shrieked all the way down until the wind plopped him down unto the grass. There he continued to cry in the darkness, helplessly, for no one would be able to hear him so far down. Little did the boy know, someone did hear him cry. All the way down in the cave town, a girl was sitting up in bed, wondering what that whining noise was. Curious, she crawled through the tunnels of her town, following the strange sound until she was at the mouth of the cave and saw the boy sitting in the grass. “What’s wrong?” she asked the boy. The boy jumped up at the sight of the girl, his cheeks flushing. “I fell down,” he answered. “From all the way up there?” the girl asked with big eyes. “Of course,” the boy said, “where else would I come from?” “I live in the ground,” the girl said, “how strange is this?” The boy and girl sat together in the grass, talking about their homes all night. The boy explained how cold his room was, and how the wind took his toys away from him, tales to which the girl hollered in disbelief. She then told him that she couldn’t even see her toys because it was so dark in her house and the boy laughed at how silly that was. When the sun came up the boy and the girl noticed a black dot in the sky. They watched as the dot grew bigger and bigger until the boy recognized his father. He was hanging from a big balloon that was slowly letting him down to the ground. “What is this?!” he bellowed when he noticed the girl. “She is my new friend,” replied the boy with a big smile, “she lives in a cave.” Just then, murmurings roused from the mouth of the cave. People emerged from it, chattering to one another until they set their eyes upon the scene in the grass. “What is this?!” they all cried at once. “He is my friend from the mountain,” said the girl, eyes sparkling, “the wind brought him to me.” The ruler and the cave people were outraged. It was plain as day that people from the castle shouldn’t get along with people who lived underground. “You should be ashamed of yourself!” shouted the ruler. “It’s a disgrace!” the cavetowners roared. The ruler grabbed his son by the arm and tied him to his big balloon, just as the cave dwellers took hold of the girl, dragging her back into the dark. Days and weeks and months passed and the boy and the girl didn’t meet, at least, that was the people around them thought. Every night, the boy crawled onto his father’s balloon while everyone else was asleep and drifted down below, where the girl would greet him with a smile and they would spend a wonderful time. Over time, the boy felt something grow within him; it was a secret. It started small as a little firefly, hovering around his empty chest. But by the time the boy was as tall as his father, the secret had become so vast and unfathomable, it was like a fiery blaze that enveloped him entirely. At any moment, he felt the secret might burst free. He could not let that happen. It frightened the boy so much, he began to keep his lips shut tight. When people around him spoke, he just stood by and watched. When his father asked him a question he simply nodded or shrugged. Only at night, when he ran free with the girl, did he open his mouth. The most beautiful sounds spilled out, laughter and song and shouts of glee. As he did so, he felt the secret grow and grow but he did not care in the night; he did not care how the inferno within him swelled against the confines of his body, how it roared on inside, begging to break free. As much as the boy ignored these happenings, like all secrets, break free, it did. He felt it rumble in his stomach first, then move up towards his throat, just as he’d sat down for breakfast. He clasped his neck in surprise. He wanted to shout at the people around him to hide, for the secret was surely coming, but not a second later, it exploded from his lips like a flaming tornado. It took over the room in an instant. Soon, the whole castle was set aflame. People cried for help but they were too far up for anyone to hear. They crawled up on the roof, shouting to the clouds in desperation but no one called back. Trapped by the flames, the boy knew only one thing to do. He heaved himself over the ledge of the dining room window and looked down. In a voice as loud as he could muster, he called for the girl. His ears picked up something of a reply but he couldn’t be sure; after all, the fire around him crackled obnoxiously loud. But she must be there, he thought, she would never abandon him. Gathering all his courage he leaned over the edge and let go, falling away from the castle and his father and the people who didn’t understand, towards the arms of freedom, where there was no need for secrets, where he was alright, just the way he was.

The book trembled in your hands as you finished the story. This was nothing like you’d imagined A Vast Unfathomable Secret to be about. So many things ran through your mind but right at the forefront was, overwhelmingly, Minghao. Minghao, Minghao, Minghao. All this time, you thought the book would reveal some kind of clever solution to help him save Namin. In the end, the book had revealed nothing more than his heart.

You knew you weren’t supposed to be here. You were probably supposed to check in with Tou Ma and help prepare for the celebration but you couldn’t do that. You had to see him, even if it meant watching him from the sidelines as he ran through his final wedding rehearsal. You were half hidden behind a wooden pillar, feeling as if your knees might give out. Minghao walked aside his mother to the front of the room, where a tall monk waited on a raised platform. The room wasn’t decorated properly yet but it had been filled with so much candlelight, the whole thing looked enchanting nonetheless. Zhong Mei came out as well, skin glowing in the warm firelight. She joined Minghao on the platform, facing him. There was a bit of a pause as Mei’s parents did some fervent explaining to the monk. The spectators in the room began murmuring amongst themselves. Your eyes never left Minghao though. He looked nervous. His cool mask wasn’t sliding on as easy as usual. He looked down for a long time before starting to scan the room. A shiver ran up your spine when his eyes suddenly met yours. He was quick to look away though. It seemed like Mei was saying something to him then because he nodded awkwardly at her in reply, though he couldn’t look at her.

Finally, Mei’s parents stepped aside and the monk stepped forward. He cleared his throat as he straightened out his robe, ready to start his speech.

BANG

A thunderous crashing sound broke the silence and the whole room shook.

*

[angstysebfan]

Did I Take A Step Too Far Part 7

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary:  You and Bucky were best friends, but one night you took your relationship to the next level. You you want to continue moving forward, but Bucky acts like he regrets it, and even tries to move on.

Warnings: just angsty

“We need to talk.”

Your heart jumps into your throat as you stare up at the man who has completely decimated your heart. Tears are streaming down your face as you just stare at him. You don’t move, neither of you. You both just look at each other and get enveloped in the collective sadness between the two of you.

Bucky finally breaks the silence, “Please,” he whispers. The sound of his voice breaks the trance as you step to the side and allow him in. Before he enters, he looks at Ashley, who is still standing in the hallway. He gives her a small smile before entering. You have your back turned, so you miss it.

He enters your room and closes the door. Silently he walks over to where you are and pulls you into a bone crushing hug. You struggle out of his hold, “Don’t!” you scream. His eyes widen at your voice level. “Don’t try to pacify me. You are leaving... with her... it’s done. Just... leave me alone.” you say as you walk to your bed and sit on the edge. 

Bucky comes over and sits next to you. He continues to stare at you, and you fight your will to look back. “You told me to choose her.” he whispered to you. You finally do look at him, and your expression looks utterly broken. “I know.” you say softly back. You turn towards him slightly, “I know I did. But the reality of it is difficult to deal with. I guess I always hoped you wouldn’t listen to me.” you say with a shrug.

“What happens now?” Bucky asks. “I don’t know. I mean I won’t see you often and-” “I’ll be here every day. You’ll see me, I promise. I don’t want to lose you completely Y/N. I can’t.” he says earnestly, cutting you off. You give him a small smile and tell yourself internally to be brave.

“Bucky, I am going to need some time away from you. At least until I can be okay with this. So, when you’re here, whether for training, or hanging out, I won’t be around. Honestly I think we should only socialize on missions, and even then minimally. I just... I need time to get over everything.” you say looking into his eyes.

Bucky feels like he can’t breath. You told him to choose Ashley, you told him to! “But, I don’t want to lose you. I... please, Y/N, don’t do this.” he begs, tears pooling in his eyes. You start crying again, “I have to. I don’t want to lose you either, but I think I have to, at least for now. It hurts too much to see you, knowing what I had and gave up. I know you feel like I am punishing you, but I really think this is the best course for me. Please understand.” you say as your voice cracks.

Bucky feels his heart completely shatter. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You told him what to do. He hated you for doing that, but he understood and loved you for it at the same time. He thought you guys could at least go back to being friends, but now you want complete separation. How did it come to this? How did he let it get this far. 

Bucky gets up silently and heads toward the door. He stops before grabbing the handle, feeling like he is losing control and everything is spiraling. He quickly turns around and walks back toward you with a purpose. You stand up as he gets closer, knowing his intent. He grabs you by the back of the neck and pulls you in as he smashes his lips against yours.

You allow him to take control as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you flush against him. You feel all the emotion he is holding in that kiss and you make sure you give just as much. When breath becomes essential you both pull back, but remain in each others arms. 

Panting he kisses your forehead and steps back to look into your eyes. “I think you are the love of my life, but you.... you pushed me away. I know you regret it, and I wish I could...” he stops, choking back a sob. You caress his hair and hold him close. “Bucky, I will always regret pushing you away. And not that I wish bad things on you and Ashley, but I will hope that we will get our chance someday.”

He nods, “Just not today” he says as he kisses you once more before releasing you completely. Without another word, he walks to the door and leaves. He fights himself and makes sure not to turn around again. As the door closes you allow the sobs to release again, collapsing to the floor.

--

Bucky brings in the last box into Ashley’s apartment. Thankfully most of his stuff goes in the bedroom, so there isn’t much to unpack. Ashley grabs his hand and brings him to the sofa in the living room. He puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head.

“How do you feel?” she asks. He looks around the apartment for a moment, “Honestly, I think I will be okay. Just need to get used to it.” He says. She looks up at him with a smile. “It will take some time, but I am willing. Y/N didn’t seem to take it well.” she says.

Bucky pinches his nose thinking about your conversation. “No, she didn’t. Unfortunately it will not be easy with her, which I figured. But she told me she wanted complete space from her for awhile.” he says staring at the wall. “Yea, I get that. I felt terrible when I saw her face. Knowing I stole you away from her.” she said. 

“She gave me up, sweetheart. You are not to blame for this situation.” he said. Ashley frowns, “But I know I would feel the same way. And I know separating completely will be hard on both of you. Just know I am here if you want to talk, okay?” she says. He kisses her lips softly and whispers “thank you” against them.

--

Time Jump - 2 months later - 

Bucky walks into the tower for the mission briefing. It’s one of the only times he gets to see you. He doesn’t know how you are holding up, but he knows one thing, he is miserable. He hoped the distance would be hard at first but get easier, but that wasn’t the case. Every time he would come to the tower, you would make yourself disappear. 

He tried to talk to Nat about it, but she wouldn’t say anything to him. Steve said he would try and get information, but has not gotten anything. He feels helpless. He hates how things are, and he feels terrible about what he is doing to Ashley. He should have just broken up with her that day in the park like he planned. But no, she said all the right things and he melted, wanting to keep the relationship alive. Now he regrets stringing the poor girl along.

As he walks into the conference room he sees you, Nat, and Wanda whispering to each other. You don’t even look his way, but he sees light in your eyes for the first time in months. It makes his heart beat faster, thinking of how beautiful you are. He sits on the opposite side of the table, trying to ignore the conversation, but his advanced hearing makes him catch a few things.

“So you are going out with him again?” Nat asked you. You smirk and nod. “He really is sweet and handsome. I had such a great time with him. I can’t wait for you all to meet him.” you say excitedly. Bucky’s heart drops to the floor. You were moving on, just like you wanted. He can’t blame you, he is trying to, but god does he want to stop it.

Steve and Tony walk in and discuss the mission that requires the whole team. Going to a HYDRA base and grabbing not only key information, but the head guy in charge to get information on a new weapon and where it is kept. You all were leaving in two hours. Tony added that if this went well, he would throw another party, which you all gave a small cheer for.

16 hours later, you all return with the leader in hand to the tower. You were the only one that got injured, but it wasn’t serious. Bucky blamed himself, since he got distracted by your presence near him and then you got shot. It was a through and through, so no major damage was done, but Bucky still felt terrible.

He sat in the common room talking to Sam and Steve when you walked back in after getting checked out. “Hey Y/N, everything cool?” Sam asked. You gave him a smile, “Yea, I’m good Sammy.” you said as you went into the kitchen. Bucky quickly got up and followed you. 

“I’m sorry you got shot. It was my fault.” he said softly, making you turn around. He had trouble reading the emotion on your face, but you then gave him a small smile. “It’s fine, James. Could have happened to anyone of us, right?” you said before leaving the room quickly.

Bucky stood there staring at the spot you were just standing. James? You never call him James, unless he pissed you off. Were you really leaving him behind completely? He hated this! If he could only go back in time and change the outcome, you wouldn’t have gone out on a date with a guy you seem to like, and he wouldn’t be living outside the tower with a great girl, who he realizes he could never love as much as you.

He felt like he was stuck inside a nightmare, and there was no way of getting out.

--

You enter your room quickly and let out the breath you had been holding in. It was the first time in two months you heard his velvet voice toward you. He made your stomach twist and your heart clench. God you missed him. 

You finally went on a date with some guy Wanda set you up with, named Jeremy. He was sweet and handsome, but he wasn’t your Bucky. No one was your Bucky. But your Bucky wasn’t yours. He was Ashley’s. And there was nothing you could about it, but god did you still love him. You will always love him.

Just then you felt your phone vibrate with a text from Tony setting the party in motion for Friday night. You figured Bucky and Ashley would go, so you would make sure Jeremy is there also. You needed someone to distract you from the happy couple. 

You would get through it. You didn’t have a choice.

--

Last Part  /  Next Part

You all knew I wasn’t done. Come on! Feedback is appreciated!

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[spidernerdsblog]

I Forgot That You Existed : Chapter Five

A/N: Chapter five is here. The pent up tension between our ex-lovers is getting too much for them to handle. As things get heated up they give in to their feelings momentarily. Are they gonna regret it? Or will this reignite their love giving a new dynamic to their relationship? Y/N has been hiding a secret will she reveal it? What implication will its revelation bring in their lives? I hope you like this chapter. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome. Let me know what do you think Y/N has been hiding.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader 

Summary : It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realize you are still not done with each other.

Warnings : fluff, making out.

Mini Playlist : Bad Blood by Taylor Swift, Cheap Thrills by Sia, Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

Tom and El breathing heavily. Tom rolled over to the side placing his hands below his head staring at the ceiling. El scooched into him, placing her hand on his bare chest.

“That was amazing.” El said, letting out a deep breath.

“Hmmm” Tom hummed.

Loud laughter and giggles were heard from your room. As you and Z were literally screaming at the top of your voice singing.

'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood You know it used to be mad love So take a look what you've done 'Cause, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey! Now we've got problems And I don't think we can solve 'em You made a really deep cut And, baby, now we've got bad blood, hey!

“They are really close aren't they?”

“Yeah they are soul sisters." he chuckled. "Surprisingly Y/N has been with us since childhood but Z seems to know her more than any of us in such a short time.”

“Because we girls understand each other very well mister. There are some things guys will never understand”

“So you are trying to tell me that I don’t understand you”

“I didn’t say that dummy” El laughed lightly slapping on his chest

Tom and El were startled by a loud thud as if someone fell on the floor as they heard you groaning loudly

"Owww!!! My ass!!" you groaned going into fits of laughter. You and Zendaya were pillow fighting as you lost balance and fell.

“You deserve that bitch” Zendaya giggled.

El smiled listening to your banters “Someone is way too excited and happy” she chuckled.

“You know I think they are perfect” looking up to Tom

“Who?”

“Steve and Y/N, they make a perfect couple. She should consider this relationship.”

“I think it's too early to comprehend darling as much as I know her Steve isn’t her type”

“Why not? I mean their personalities complement each other so well; it will in a way benefit both of them professionally too. She is a world class singer and he is such a skilful event manager if they work it out and get married in future you know what I mean.

“Maybe”

Tom turned to his side, his back facing El. He frowned at the thought of seeing you with someone else. But then El's words struck him, he thought what if that guy was trying to befriend you just for his professional gains. He felt he needed to protect you from another heartbreak. He decided in his mind to talk to you about this tomorrow.

You were all having breakfast. Steve had called you saying he will come to pick you at 9. You chose to wear a cute top with your shorts.

“You look cute in that top Y/N” El complimented

“Thanks El”

“Any special reason?” El danced her eyebrows

“Oh nothing” you shrugged.

“I know, Stevey boy is coming to pick her up” Chloe chirped

“Oh shut up” you blushed.

You went to put your plate in the kitchen sink. Tom was already in there. He thought this is the right time to talk to you.

“Umm Y/N I need to talk to you about something”

“Yeah what is it?”

“I think you should keep your distance from that guy. I mean Steve”

“Umm okay I'll give it a thought. But any reason why should I be away?”

“Because I said so.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” You smirked, raising an eyebrow. Tom scoffed

“Listen Y/N I’m serious. I..I’m just trying to protect you okay”

“I’m not a baby Tom. I can take care of myself but thanks for your concern”

“Look who is here Mr. Johnson” you heard Ed and ran out to meet Steve.

“ Heyyy you.. you look ...pretty” Steve fumbled

“Thanks. You blushed tucking your hair behind your ear. “let's go then”

“Yeah, after you.”

You buckled the extra helmet Steve brought for you and sat down behind him on the bike. He started his bike and pulled the clutch to shift the gear you jolted into him clutching his broad shoulders tightly.

“You did that intentionally didn't you?” narrowing your eyes.

“You weren’t holding on to me tightly darling” Steve gave you a cheesy smile. You rolled your eyes.

You reached the spot in around 20 minutes. Steve led you to the stage.

“Okay so this is your stage rockstar. Whatever you require just tell me I’ll arrange everything”

You slipped your guitar strap around your shoulder as you started rehearsing the chords.

“You know you should start with look what you made me do. That's really a badass song and maybe finish with something soft and romantic. It will be even better if you give a sneak peek of your upcoming album by performing a new song.” Steve suggested

“That’s actually a great idea Steve! Thanks” You continued rehearsing and completely lost track of time. Suddenly you felt a pair of hands around your hips. You smiled. Steve placed his chin on the crook of your neck.

“Hey beautiful! Are you hungry?”

“Yeah a little” you nodded

“Let’s go and grab some lunch then”

“So should I take this as a simple lunch or an official date?” you smirked

“A lunch date maybe” he shrugged with a toothy grin

Back at the house everybody was having lunch.

“Excuse me guys” El ran to the bathroom feeling nauseous and she threw up. Tom ran to her aid. He came out with her carrying her to their room. Everybody was worried.

You were seated at a nearby restaurant. You both were having a good time eating and chatting; your phone dinged the screen flashed Zendaya’s name.

Come back immediately. It’s urgent

“I’m sorry I gotta go something urgent has come up” you got up from your seat apologizing to Steve

“That’s fine love. I’ll drop you” Steve got up too as he took you home.

You reached home around noon. Zendaya had texted you about what had happened. Everyone was sitting in the living room as you entered.

“How is she?” you asked

“She's fine.. taking rest” Sam stated

“So is she pregnant or something?”

“Y/N?!’’ Zendaya elbowed you looking at you with wide eyes.

“What?! I'm serious; the symptoms you told are either indigestion or pregnancy. And please don't tell me that they aren't sexually active because we got the sneak peek yesterday itself."

 “This isn't a joke Y/N” Tom said sternly

 “I'm not joking Tom I will never joke on such a serious topic because I'm very well aware of the implications it brings to a person's life.”

 Zendaya grabbed your hand and shook her head violently, panic in her eyes to stop you from talking further. You understood what she was trying to say and tried to cover up

 “And.. anyways you two are getting married it’s nothing to freak out. I would still recommend her to take the test.”

 “It's okay Y/N. I had my period plus I’m on pills so nothing to worry. It was actually indigestion. Sea food really does not suit me. But I don't think I will be able to go to the beach carnival with you guys, still feeling a little unwell.” El said as she came down the stairs.

 “It's okay babe you take rest I'll stay with you” Tom went up to her as he ran his hand on her back in a soothing way.

 “No Tom, you should go, why miss out on the fun for me.”

 “It's okay El nothing is more important than you in my life.” Tom held her hands placing light kisses on them.

 “I know bubs and your happiness is my first priority, so go and enjoy for my sake.” Tom didn’t extend the conversation any further and agreed to her.

Now you felt nauseous looking at their cliche tooth rotting romance. You blew out your cheeks and turned towards Steve who was standing at your back.

“Okay then see tomorrow” you hugged each other.

“Yeah bye darling” Steve left

Everyone went to their rooms to get ready for the carnival. Tom was dressing up as suddenly your words reverberated in his mind. He couldn't make any sense out of your words. What did you mean by the implication of pregnancy in a person's life and why did Z abruptly shut you up. He felt as if you both were hiding something.

 “Seriously Y/N were you out of your mind?! You were just going to spill everything out.” Zendaya lashed out.

 “I know I'm sorry. I just don't know what came over me.” you sat on the bed covering your face with your hands.

 “I know babe but you gotta be careful. It's a secret you chose to hatch it down in the darkest corner of your heart, can't let it spill unless you want it otherwise ."

 You went and hugged her tightly tears rolling down your eyes

 "What would I do without you" you sobbed

 "You'll always have me by your side darling, okay now cheer up and let's get ready.”

............................

You all came out of the house. Two cars were already parked outside. You immediately ran towards Harrison's car.

“I'm taking the front seat"You opened the door and sat.

Harrison, Zendaya, Harry and Paddy sat on the back seats

“Who's gonna drive?” you asked confused

Then you saw Tom with the car keys as he opened the door and you both momentarily glanced at each other as he sat on the driver's seat.

You divert your attention outside the window as you feel a tension arise between you two.

 As Tom drove the car an eerie silence prevailed. It started to get kinda boring so to lighten up the mood you turned on the car's stereo and connected your phone.

 Cheap thrill starts playing

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Friday night and I won't be long Gotta do my hair, put my make up on It's Friday night and I won't be long)

 Everyone cheered and started grooving to the music.

 ('Til I hit the dance floor

Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 Turning a little to your side you took out your phone and started recording everyone singing and grooving. Tom occasionally glanced at you.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing)

 Unbuckling your seat belt so you got up and kneeled on your seat facing backwards. As you all continued lip syncing loudly and vibing in the car. Tom kept his straight face all the time.

 (Come on, come on, turn the radio on

It's Saturday and I won't be long Gotta paint my nails, put my high heels on It's Saturday and I won't be long)

'Til I hit the dance floor Hit the dance floor I got all I need No, I ain't got cash

I ain't got cash But I got you, baby)

 A sharp turn came as you all jolted to the right side. You almost lost balance, one hand holding tightly on the head rest of your seat and another grasping on Tom's shoulder. He held your hand tightly to prevent you from losing balance, giving you a stern look. You knew that look very well, he used to give you that look when you were being a brat. You felt a little intimidated and straightened yourself and sat properly again.

 (Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight

(I love cheap thrills) Baby, I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight (I love cheap thrills) But I don't need no money As long as I can feel the beat I don't need no money As long as I keep dancing

I don't need no money As long as I…….. Song continues

 Reaching the carnival you were overcome with nostalgia so many sweet memories you had of this place. Everyone got out of the cars and went in different directions. Out of habit you waited for Tom to park the car and then go inside. When you both entered the carnival ground none of your friends could be seen.

 “Guess what our friends ditched us” you pressed your lips together frowning

“I guess so." Tom twisted his lips looking around then turning back to you

"Okay, stay right here I’ll be back in a minute”

“But.. but why? Where are you going now?” you asked confused, tom trailed off in the crowd.

“Huh!” you scowled “am I so bad that he hates to spend a little time with me” you thought. You looked around and thought going into the stalls checking out the stuff. You eventually went when a sparkly pair of earrings caught your eyes. Taking it in your hands you placed them in front of your ears checking in the mirror if they look nice or not.

“I told you to stay right?” you heard Tom say from the back.

“I'm literally near the spot you left me.” You tried to reason.

“Okay here take this.” He handed you a grilled corn. Your face instantly lit up  

“Hey thanks.”  You cheerfully bite into the corn.

 Tom hadn't noticed earlier but now when he saw you carefully your necklace caught his eye it's the same black dahlia necklace he gifted you after filming far from home. A smile crept on his face at the fact that after so many years you had kept it.

You looked up to find him smiling at you “What?” You asked

“Nothing” he shook his head.

It didn't escape Tom's eyes the way you were staring at those sparkly earrings and he instantly knew you wanted them but you were confused if it would be worth buying.

 "You like them?"

 “Huh? Oh no just looking" you shrugged off

 “Oh don't lie to me I know how much of a fetish you have for earrings"

 He immediately asked the seller to pack those for you as he took out his wallet to pay.

 “You know I can pay for myself” you commented

 He grinned "Oh don't worry you can pay me back later by cash or you know by the kindness of your pretty little"

 “You finish that line and I’m gonna kick you in your balls Thomas” you were so done with his snarky comments; you were fuming as you stomped away from him.

 "Hey Y/N! Wait for me!" You picked up your pace. Tom ran to catch up with you. He stood in front of you blocking your way.

 “Here you go" he handed you the small gift bag.

“In no circumstance I'm taking that" crossing your hands and turning your face away annoyed  

“Hey, hey listen” he tried to hold your hands stepping closer.

“Don't touch me” you swatted him away

“Okay feisty pants, calm down” he stepped back raising his hand in the air in defeat.

"Oh come on Y/N I was just joking I'm sorry. Here take this. Pleaaase" he pouted.

"Go and give that to El I’m sure she will pay you back nicely like she did last night." You taunted.

"I don’t switch gifts meant for someone else moreover El isn't much of a fan of my gifts she says my taste is like an old man. She would totally figure out I did’t choose these."

“That’s true you are an old man.” corner of your mouth quirked up. Tom stretched his hand to give you the bag you took it lazily.

“Are we cool now?”

“Yeah sort of.” You gave a half shrug.

“Let's do something like old times then shall we?” Tom proposed

“Yeah fine by me anyways our best friends have ditched us so we are stuck with each other.”

You both went to try out different rides in the carnival. You enjoyed the roller coaster the most. After the ride you both sat down on a nearby bench to rest. Meanwhile you were deciding what to do next.

 “Wanna have some ice cream?” Tom offered

“Have you ever heard me saying no to ice cream?”you smirked

“Okay wait and don't go anywhere this time.” He disappeared in the crowd. You sat on the bench scrolling through your phone.

“Boo!!” Tom grabbed your shoulders from the back. You were startled, almost dropping your phone .

“God! You scared me” you gasped

He chuckled “here you go darling" he handed you your ice cream. Your heart swelled up by the fact that he still remembered your favorite flavour combo by heart one scoop of chocolate and cookies & cream with lots of extra choco chips.

You both started walking, licking on to your ice creams, your bodies brushed against each other occasionally as you both glanced into the stalls. Tom carefully watched you, the way you licked the ice cream made his mind wander to inappropriate places making him smile internally. You both were passing in front of a gaming stall.

 "Wanna win something for your girl?" the owner of the stall threw the question towards Tom.

 “Oh no he has a very bad aim” you tried to get away from there as you always thought these games are just a waste of money.

 “What! I can aim." Tom retorted widening his eyes.

 “No you can't" you argued "And these games are rigged you know that very well Tom" you muttered in his ears.

 "What do you want babe?”

“Babe?? " you gave him a puzzled look.

“Just tell me.”

“Okay that big bunny which you always failed to get to me.” You challenged him.

Tom paid the money he had three chances to throw the ring on the small replica of bunny.

“After you lose don’t tell me I didn’t warn you” you quipped

“Yeah, yeah will see that. And if I win, what is my reward?”

“Of course the big bunny that’s what you paid for, idiot” you grinned.

In the first throw he completely missed it.

"See! I told you it was a waste of money" you complained

"Oh! Y/N just let me concentrate" he huffed

The second throw was almost close, you both groaned frustrated. The third throw was a kind of prestige fight for Tom because he knew you were gonna mock him all his life if he loses. You on the other hand were tense crossing your fingers you wished he would win. Tom threw the ring and it went in the exact spot you both cheered, throwing your hands up in the air and hugged each other tightly. Pulling away soon but you felt a slight pull as you noticed the chain of your necklace had tangled with his spider man necklace. Tom struggled to untangle it, you swatted his hand.

"Stop pulling it dumbo, you are going to break the necklace" you grumbled

Tom felt warmth filling his heart seeing you so possessive about the necklace.You stepped closer and slowly tried untying the knot. Both of your breath hitched. After a few seconds you untangled your chains. The seller handed Tom the stuffed bunny.

“Here you go princess” Tom handed it over to you.

“Thanks.” You took it hugging it tightly. You were now more comfortable with each other giggling and laughing in each other's company. Anybody could mistake you both as a lovely couple. Unknowingly you were now holding hands and walking across the carnival.

“Picture for the beautiful couple?" a photographer from a photo studio chirped around from the corner.

“Oh no no we are not..” Tom cut you off

“Yeah sure why not”

“But tom..”

“Come on Y/N it will be fun”

You reluctantly went inside the studio and tried different costumes. You both posed and clicked some silly photos of yourselves.

Finally you caught sight of the rest of your gang, both of you rushed to them still holding hands.

“Hey where were you guys?” you asked

“Hey aah..” Zendaya stopped halfway to look at you, your hand hooked on to Tom’s arm furrowing, her eyes all skeptical.

You both followed her gaze as you realised, you leave each other's hands feeling awkward looking away.

“So what's with the bunny?”

“Oh it's for El Tom won it as a souvenir for her as she couldn't make it.” You lied.

“You guys wanna go on the Ferris wheel? it will be fun to watch the fireworks from up there”

“Nah we are good down here plus we are hungry.”

“Okay then we are going for the Ferris wheel. Will meet you at the parking lot after that.”

You queued up and waited for your turn to buy the tickets. You turned back a little girl caught your attention, she was glancing at you both mostly Tom curiously with her doe eyes. You thought she must have recognised Tom. Tom looked back too. He waved his hand towards her with a smile.

She tugged on her mother’s dress and whispered.

“Mommy, look spider-man” her mother turned her gaze towards you and gave out a light shriek

“Oh my god! Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L/N!! I’m a huge fan of both of you”

You both smiled.

"I'm Claudia nice to meet you"

“Hello.. nice to meet you too” you both greeted the lady

“Where’s MJ? Are you spider-man’s new girlfriend?” the little girl chirped. You and Tom looked at each other chuckling.

“Ssshh!! Don’t tell MJ” you joked. The little girl frowned. You crouched in front of her as you caressed her cheek.

“I'm kidding honey I’m not spider man's new girlfriend I’m his best friend. What’s your name little miss?”

“Vienna”

“That’s a beautiful name Vienna”

“You are so big but you still play with bunnies?” she asked you innocently

Tom stifled a laugh hearing that. You looked at him narrowing your eyes.

“No one is too old for bunnies honey. And this was given to me by someone I love so can’t throw it away can I?" Vienna nodded in approval. You glanced up to Tom.

“Can we take a selfie?” Claudia asked

“Yeah sure why not?” Tom picked up Vienna in his arms as you all cuddled close to take a selfie.

“I heard you are going to perform, is it true?”

“Yes I’m.” You confirmed

“Great!!! Looking forward to attending your concert.”

“I’ll be eager to see you guys in the audience”

"Hey Y/N! come here it's our turn." You heard Tom calling you

"Okay see you guys in the concert bye. Bye Vienna."

Tom had already bought the tickets while you were talking. You got up in your cabin. Sitting close to each other shoulders brushing in the cramped space, it was nothing new though for you two but now the circumstances have changed. The wheel rotated for a couple of times and then it halted as the fireworks were about to begin. Your cabin was at the top so you could get the best view.

“You did this?” you quirked your eyebrow

“Nothing a little extra tip can’t do” he winked. “Wait a minute, it's gonna get better.” He took out his phone and played one of your favorite songs which both of you used to hear.

Perfect starts playing

(I found a love for me Darling, just dive right in And follow my lead Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet I never knew you were the someone waiting for me)

“It feels as if we are teenagers again.” You giggled

The fireworks began as you looked up in the sky in awe. Tom was looking at you the whole time. He had missed your heart warming smile all these years and he felt happy that he was the reason behind your smile. You turned to him to find him already gazing at you with his soft brown eyes.

“I really missed this you know” you gave a tight lipped smile.

“You like it?” he asked softly

“I like it?! I love it!!!” You said excitedly

('Cause we were just kids when we fell in love Not knowing what it was I will not give you up this time Darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own And in your eyes, you're holding mine)

Tom's eyes never left you. You cuddled close leaning on his chest to look at the fireworks show his hand around your shoulder. He felt heat rushing to his ears his chest pounding as he leaned his head above yours to look up at the colourful night sky.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight)

You felt butterflies in your stomach under his gaze so you straightened yourself looking at him timidly. The atmosphere felt heavy as both of you felt a strong magnetic pull luring both of you. Your body was slightly turned towards him. Your hair blowing in the gentle night breeze.

(Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets To carry love, to carry children of our own)

He himself turned a little facing you, his hands slipped down to rest on your hips as he drew you in. His warm breath falling on your face. He gently brushed away the hair falling on your face tugging it behind your ear and rested his hand on the side of your face caressing your cheek with his thumb. Both lost in each other's eyes. You gazed into his warm brown eyes which were full of love. His eyes flickered between your eyes and to your slightly parted lips. Your faces were just a few millimetres apart, warmth blossomed in your chest, sparks igniting as Tom leaned in close, lips brushing together.

(We are still kids, but we're so in love Fightin' against all odds I know we'll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand Be my girl, I'll be your man I see my future in your eyes)

Tom pulled you close, deepening the kiss your lips were soft he could taste the chocolate ice cream you had on your lips. You shivered and let out a soft moan. To your surprise you were kissing him back, you felt his warm mouth on yours and closed your eyes, your hands subconsciously went around his neck tugging on to his soft curls. He groaned into the kiss.

(Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, listenin' to our favorite song When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight)

A strong passion taking over both of you as you frantically kissed each other. Like the first drops of rain brings relief to a rain deprived parched land you both felt the same way, an euphoric bliss, as if you were thirsty for ages and finally the thirst is being quenched. A million emotions of love, lust, desire surged in your bodies. Neither of you wanted to stop, you just wanted to savour this moment.

(Oh, no, no Mm

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms Barefoot on the grass, we're listenin' to our favorite song I have faith in what I see Now I know I have met an angel in person And she looks perfect No, I don't deserve this You look perfect tonight)

 The world seemed oblivious for both of you. Both were brought back to your senses when the wheel started to move again. You slowly broke the kiss still in a haze. Your foreheads resting against each other as you both were gasping for air. You looked into his eyes, a panic strike both of you, you immediately pulled away trying to avoid each other's gaze as you looked over the illuminated town. Part of your mind felt so good and didn't want it to end but the other part reminded you constantly that whatever happened was so wrong. The cabin descended down your heart still beating at an alarming rate you tried to calm yourself placing a hand on your chest. The cabin squeaked as it halted, Tom bent low to squeeze out through the small door of the cabin. Wordlessly, he helped you step out of it. It was time to go back so you started walking back to the parking lot. Not a word was spoken between you two throughout the whole walk.

“Oh the love birds are finally back.” Harry joked

Your heartbeat quickened at his remark as you gave a death glare to him.

“Okay sorry, sorry my bad.”

“Haz can you sit in the front? I want to sit with Z at the back.” You almost begged.

“Yeah sure no problem love.”

You sat silently. Tom looked at you through the rear view mirror as he started the car.

“What happened? You look all flushed out are you okay? Zendaya asked concerned

“Did you guys fight over there or what?” Harrison asked, rolling his eyes.

“No nothing like that, just tired actually.The rides were really fun.”

So let's continue the fun. Harrison turned on the car stereo and played from his Playlist.

 Break My Heart starts playing...

(I've always been the one to say the first goodbye Had to love and lose a hundred million times Had to get it wrong to know just what I like Now I'm fallin')

Everyone started singing. Zendaya nudged you a little, giving you a questioning look, you nodded your head to assure her everything was okay , smiling and joined them.

(You say my name like I have never heard before I'm indecisive but this time I know for sure I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all Are you fallin'?)

You glanced at Tom through the rear view mirror pressing your lips together in a thin line. You had a lot of questions in your mind. You wanted to ask Tom why? Why did you do that? What does this mean to you Tom? Why couldn’t you control yourself from giving into the kiss?

(Center of attention You know you can get whatever you want from me Whenever you want it, baby It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me If I would've known it, baby)

The air felt suffocating, your throat felt dry as you were sweating. Your mind kept drifting to that heated moment on the Ferris wheel, subconsciously nibbling your lower lip. The whole incident was wrecking your mind.

(I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

 You now seriously regret coming here; you really should have stayed at home you thought. That face, that damn face will be the death of you one day, it makes you go weak on your knees. You can't be falling in for him again when you know that a heart break is inevitable.

 (I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind

Two can play that game, but you win me every time Everyone before you was a waste of time Yeah, you got me)

 Tom himself was having a hard time to concentrate on driving his hands all sweaty. You were all on his mind. As he looks at you through the mirror his eyes instantly goes to your plump rosy lips which he was sucking a few moments ago as if his life depends on it. He just wanted to pull you around a corner and feel your soft lips again.

 (Center of attention

You know you can get whatever you want from me

Whenever you want it, baby

It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me)

This time you caught him staring at you a chill ran down your spine. He immediately looked away face turning red; heat crept up your cheeks turning pink.

(If I would've known it, baby

I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart? Oh no, I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?)

.......... Song continues

 As you reached home you waited for everyone to get out of the car and go inside.

“Here take this.” You handed out the stuffed bunny to Tom

“It's for you love not for El and you know that very well.”

“Hmm” you hummed looking into his eyes, many unsaid words were spoken.

You both went up the stairs. Standing in front of your rooms you glanced at each other for one last time and went inside.

“I thought that was for El.” Zendaya pointed out at the stuffed toy.

“Yeah I'll give it to her tomorrow.”

“Now you are going to lie to me too" Zendaya scoffed

"I know it is for you. Mind telling me what's going on between you two?”

“Nothing, nothing is going on. Wha.. What makes you think that? You stammered

“Nothing, just you have been acting strange through the whole ride back home.” Zendaya frowned; she knew something was up with you two.

“Oh I must be tired that's why I guess.” You let out fake yawn.

The night was going to be long for you and Tom as you were still hot and bothered needing some sort of relief but none of you are going to get it tonight.

.....................................................................

Taglists: to be added send a message or ask I'll be happy to add you in the following chapters.

@sleepybesson @sophs-library @spideyparkerstark  @itstaskeen @milli86 @biebsmylife95 @quaksonhehe @hannahholland1811  @awhollandx @joyleenl@itsnotmeh24  @bitchinwpoei @astridcomming

[soheila-1996]

Wake up, Rookie- Part two

Paring: Ethan x MC

Warnings: Traumatic brain injury/ coma, mention of car accident and drink driving. 

Word count: 2,113

Catch up here

Tags:  @dulceghernandez​   @rookie-ramsey​ @choicesandanimeruleme​ @aylamwrites​ @ethansmommyissues​ @schnitzelbutterfingers @therookie​ @lilyvalentine​ @sitihania @cordoniaqueensworld​ @eramsey28​​

Any feedback is always super appreciated! :) All characters belong to Pixelberry

(Ethan’s POV)

Who knew that one phone call could change everything?

One call could change your entire world? 

It’s now the next evening. Time passes so slowly in here. A minute feels like an eternity in this place. It’s hardly any wonder why people become so antsy after being here for sometime. 

This entire situation is making me see this place differently. I now understand why people hate this place. I’d never thought that I would come to hate it but I guess I was wrong. 

If I could turn back time and make her stay, I would. I’d do anything to change it so we’re not in the situation we’re now in. 

Casey’s friends have all stopped by; they’re just as equally concerned as I am. I wish I could change it but I can’t. Everyone is being so kind and empathetic because they don’t know that it’s my fault. 

Her parents are on the way and they’ve contacted her brother. Calling her parents was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do because I can’t tell them with full certainty that she’s going to be okay. I wish I could but I can’t. 

The driver that crashed into her car was drunk, he got away completely unscathed. The audacity that man had to get drunk, crash into her then just drive off is unbelievable. The police pulled him over shortly after the accident for running multiple red lights- at least they got him. That’s something but means very little to me right now. 

I wish it was him. 

The hard thing is that I’m not even sure she’d want me here. 

My mind keeps wandering to the worst case scenarios. A traumatic brain injury isn’t something people quickly recover from; if they recover at all. When- if she wakes up she’ll have possibly months of rehabilitation in front of her. Apparently, the car had rolled a couple times before stopping, that’s pretty obvious by the state the rest of her body is in. 

I turn to the door when I hear a knock. Soon Abigail, Casey’s mother, strolls in. I'm surprised that her dad isn’t behind her. I gently place Casey’s hand down onto the bed and then stand to greet her mother. Abigail pulls me into a hug that I soon return. 

“How’s she doing?” she asks as she pulls away. 

“She’s er…” I turn around to briefly look at her lying unmoving. “She’s doing well considering. Harper operated on her last night to relieve some of the pressure on her brain-” 

“Brain surgery?” She interrupts. I simply nod. From my point of view it's terrifying even though I know why it needed to be done but I can't imagine what it’s like for her. I can’t imagine how I would feel If it was my child. “But she’s okay?” 

“Yeah. Like I said, she’s doing really well. She’s stable.”  Abigail nods and walks over to Casey’s bed- Again, I can’t begin to imagine how this feels for her. Her hand hovers over Casey’s hand laying lifeless. She goes to touch her but decides against it. 

“You can touch her,” I tell her, “Just be careful that you don’t move anything.” I moved to stand beside her as she picked up her daughter’s hand. We both stay in silence for a little while as she continues to examine her daughter’s battered appearance. 

“I didn’t think she was going to look like this,” she whispers. She turns around to face me, still gripping Casey’s hand. “When you told me- I didn’t think-” 

“I know,” I nod and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“Anthony is at the hotel,” she tells me. I was wondering where he was. I know that Casey and her dad are as thick as thieves. 

“I know. You don’t have to stay at a hotel. You and Anthony can come and stay at our house, Casey would want you to.” 

“He couldn’t...He just couldn’t come and see her like this,” She explains.  I understand how she’s feeling. I understand Anthony's hesitation to come and see her; I had the same feeling when I arrived at the hospital the other day after speaking to Harper. 

*** 

After the phone call from Harper, I rushed to the hospital. Going 20 over the required speed limit but I just need to get to her and the roads are like a ghost town anyway. As soon as I reached Edenbrook, I quickly parked my car, then burst through the ER doors. Tears are streaming down my cheeks but I don’t care- there are far more important things to be worrying about than whoever sees me crying.  

My eyes are wandering frantically around the ER; Harper had told me that she would meet me here but I don’t see her anywhere. 

I feel sick. 

“Dr Ramsey.” I turn around at the sound of my name being called. I’m faced with a young, nervous looking woman- a nurse I’m able to tell by her scrubs. “Come with me.” She walks towards the elevator and so I follow, assuming that she’s taking me to wherever Harper is. As soon as we leave the elevator- I soon realise we’re on the floor where the ICU is located, we round a corner and bump into Harper. 

“Thank you, Jen,” Harper said, smiling warmly at the woman. “I can take it from here.” With that Jen takes her leave. 

“What’s going on?” I ask, cutting to the chase. 

“Come with me.” Harper leads me down a hallway and into a small, unoccupied meeting room that contains a small table and a few chairs. Harper gestures to a chair but I continue to stand. Harper turns around to face me, leaning back against the table. 

“Harper...please just tell me what’s going on. Is she okay?” I plead. I’ve already figured out that she’s not based on the fact we’re in an ICU meeting room and Harper has never been someone to exaggerate. I know If it wasn’t bad, Harper would’ve just told me on the phone but she didn't and now I’m panicking. 

“She’s critical, Ethan,” Harper tells me. My heart sinks right down into my stomach. It’s what I expected if I’m being honest but… “ She was taken immediately to CT when she arrived, there is considerable swelling on her brain. Ortho is coming down shortly to make sure all the broken bones have been set correctly. As you can probably imagine, she’s  got quite a few of them. She has a compound fracture in her right leg, a few hairline fractures in her right foot and the left leg is  basically in the same state, she’s  also broken her left femur, she’s  broken her right wrist too and has a fair few cuts and bursaries all of  and has a seat belt burn across her chest. None of the breaks have caused any problem with circulation so that’s something. Obviously the head injury is the one we're most concerned about. She is unresponsive and so far has had no response to any stimuli. We’ve intubated her and she is on a ventilator now.” 

My heart just continues to sink as Harper lists off her injuries. My knees threaten to buckle from beneath me but I hold myself up. “Just...Just tell me she’s going to be okay,” I beg her. I know that she can’t tell me that but I just...I need her to. I need a little smidge of hope that everything is going to be okay. 

 Harper looks down at the floor then back up to me. She gives me a sad smile, “Ethan, I wish I could but you know I can’t.” 

A tear slips down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I let out shaky a breath, sniffling. “What do I- Harper, what do I do now? I don’t know what to do.” 

Harper steps forward and places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You just wait. She’s a fighter; give her a chance. Do you want to go and see her?” 

My eyes begin to tear up again. “I can’t,” I say shaking my head. “I can’t I- I can’t see her like that, Harper.” 

Harper gives my shoulder a comforting squeeze, “You can. You have to.” 

I hesitantly nod. Harper leads me out of the room and down another hallway until we reach her room. I go to open the door but then I think back over what Harper just told me about her condition and then I let go of the door handle; shaking my head. 

I can’t.

 I just can’t. 

“She needs you.” If only she knew that the reason she’s laying in that bed to begin with is my fault. I shake my head; she doesn’t need me. “She really needs you right now. 

Against my better judgement, I push the door open. I stand frozen in the doorway and let out a loud, uncontrolled sob. Even my imagination hadn’t managed to conjure up something this bad. 

Even my nightmares aren’t in any way shape or form this bad. 

*** 

The room is otherwise silent except for the machines surrounding Casey’s bed and the clock ticking on the far wall; Abigail is sitting beside me silently. Neither of us know what to say to each other. Is there anything we can say? 

It’s been nearly two days and I don’t think I’m ever going to be okay or get used to seeing her like this. I’ve had moments when I’ve wanted to walk away and not come back because it’s hard. It’s too hard to see her this way. It's frightening how she was okay one minute and then she’s like this the next. It’s terrifying how quickly things can go wrong. 

The silence with the exception of the machines is deafening. How anyone else in my position is able to keep their sanity intact is beyond me right now. Considering the circumstances it’s probably not completely unacceptable to lose my shit but I don’t really want my breakdown to be hospital gossip; which without a shadow of a doubt, it would certainly become. 

I choose to close my eyes for a second but I immediately open them again once her heart rate monitor begins to incessant beep as if it’s a truck reversing. I get to my feet, accidentally causing the chair to topple over in the process. 

“What’s happening?!” Casey’s mother asks me as the room is filled with an ear piercing long string of sound as Casey goes into cardiac arrest. 

Shit! 

I know what I need to do but I’m frozen in place. I can’t move, i can’t think, I can’t act in an attempt to save her life. My girlfriend's life. 

Soon the crash team rush into the room in a flurry of colours, sounds and strategic, practised movements. 

In the distance I vaguely hear Abigail arguing with someone that’s telling her to leave. I don’t move; I just watch in horror as one of them is pushing down on her chest as the team continues their resuscitation efforts, another is standing at the head of Casey’s bed with a bag valve mask connected to the end of the already placed intubation tube. From where I’m standing I’m able to hear a crack as one of her ribs snaps. I wince and look away to see Harper and Naveen standing in front of me, both trying to get my attention. 

“Ethan, leave. Now,” Harper tells me. I shake my head in defiance, I don’t want to leave, I need to be in here. I want to know what they’re doing to her. I need to know if their attempts work. I don’t want to hear it from somebody else if, god forbid, they don’t manage to bring her back. 

I turn away from Harper and Naveen and back to Casey. I flinch when her body arches off the bed as they shock her. I feel  someone, Naveen probably, place a hand on my shoulder. “Ethan, come on. You don’t need to see this.” 

I still make no attempt to move; I’m still frozen in place. Naveen and Harper essentially drag me out of the room. They both move to stand in front of Casey’s room to prevent me going back in. I move away from them when I realise that they’re not going to move. I move to the wall beside the door and slide down it and buried my face into my hands. I don’t care who sees this. I just need her to be okay. If she’s not; I’m not sure I will survive it. 

[erikthedead]

entry #1

I have finally acquired Microsoft Word! I really didn’t want to pay a monthly subscription for it, but it is the best writing software out there. Every time I mention myself spending money, a small prayer goes out to all the tax-paying members of the nation, since all my money comes from Universal Credit, which is the United Kingdom’s cute name for a type of welfare money. I much prefer just calling it ‘welfare,’ or even better ‘NEETbux,’ which I discovered used in online forums as a word for the money people receive when they are not in education, employment, or training (N.E.E.T), which has been my status for about two years now. Then ‘bux’ is just ‘bucks,’ obviously. Bucks is just money, obviously. Many people receiving Universal Credit also work as well; they just receive less - enough to supplement their wages if they aren’t getting enough money from their jobs.  

My last job was working in a busy restaurant for just about a year. Before that I was in university, but I dropped out after only completing the first year out of three. Before that, I worked as a carer for elderly people for just under a year. Before that, I was in college for two years, and I actually passed the course. I only passed it because the subject was forensic science, which included lots of writing about psychology, criminology and lab reports. I was never that good in the lab practically. I got flustered and bewildered in such a bright, sanitary environment that required precision and organisation to achieve the desired results. When it came to scrambling together a report to submit the next day though, I was pretty golden. I only dropped out of university because I had a mental break down as a result of poor mental health and just the fact that going outside and interacting with people was and still is incredibly exhausting for me. After a year of doing that consistently it seems, I get fatigued. In the end I got an average grade for the college course because some of the work was difficult, or boring, and that fatigue was hitting me by the second year. However, the grades I was getting on my university assignments for psychology and sociology were anywhere between top marks and good marks (Between 1st – 2:2 in UK student language). I never once read the feedback from the tutors who marked my work. All I needed to know was the mark was okay and moved on to the next assignment, firstly because I was arrogant and secondly, I couldn’t handle criticism. The mental break down itself involved me walking through the campus one day only to find myself slipping into a dissociative state. Nothing had happened immediately prior to trigger this, it just happened. It felt strange, like I wasn’t really real, and neither was anyone else. Everything felt distant and off, both externally and internally. It was frightening and strangely peaceful, as if at any moment someone could come in and blow the building up and I wouldn’t even react to it. That wasn’t normal. The only way to snap out of it was to lock myself in a toilet cubicle and lightly slice my arm with a tiny knife I had on my keys. It worked, but now I was in floods of tears and a state of distress, so I went to the student welfare services to see if they could help me or at least let me sit somewhere nicer than a toilet while I calmed down. It was an open office waiting area at the side of the bottom floor of a building that matched the layout of a prison ward with the stairs and the upper floors creating a square boarder of classrooms, that would have been cells for a prison. More for practical purposes than for aesthetic reasons, I’m sure. Still sobbing, and hiding my self-inflicted cuts, I asked the person behind the desk if I could ‘see someone,’ which is one polite British way of asking for help. After waiting a little while, a plump middle-aged lady appeared and brought me into her own little private office to ask me what had happened. She gave me her sympathy and asked me about my life and my history, and gave me some more sympathy, while relating her own experiences to mine. She was a good counsellor, basically. But having a good counsellor on site wasn’t enough to keep me on the course after that incident. Getting a degree just wasn’t worth it at the time. Being such a depressed and pessimistic person, I was only actually doing the course for ‘fun’ anyway, not for the hope that it will bring me a better future. Until recently, I never saw a future for myself. It wasn’t even a bleak future I imagined; it was just blank. I couldn’t even conceptualise it.

It’s not a mystery where all my misery came from. My childhood was a bit inconsistent to start, and from what I’ve observed, children need consistency more than anything to develop promisingly. I remember reading a study once that found children raised by parents who were consistently abusive to them were in fact more mentally stable than those raised by parents who could be lovely one day and nasty the next. It was not knowing what treatment they were going to get that did them in. It makes sense because if you’re always expecting to face a thrashing or a shouting at every day, you can at least prepare for it and train yourself to deal with it. We’re very adaptable creatures, but we need to be able to recognise patterns around us to do that. If there is no pattern, then how can we possibly make predictions? Without predictions, how can we possibly feel secure about our future? Having said all that, I was never abused in any way growing up, but I was sometimes neglected by my young mother, who was only 16 when she gave birth to me. Of course, it’s understandable now, but from a child’s perspective all you think is ‘why doesn’t my mum want me?’ When she sends you to your room for no reason and tells you not to come down for hours at a time. I asked ‘why’ a lot. Never got a good reason. I’m sure plenty of people who were raised by a drug-addicted parent can relate to this. She herself was a good mother, not amazing, but good. She told me she loved plenty of times, she gave me what she could, including a little sister when I was three years old. I think it was shortly after her birth that mum started taking heroin. It was only during drug education in year five of school (I would have been about 11) that I put the pieces together. She hid her addiction pretty well from us, but I sometimes found pieces of tin foil lying around the living room with lines of black residue on them, and once or twice witnessed her junkie friends ‘nodding off.’ There’s also a clear memory in my mind of being taken along by her and my nan to score some brown out of town and I can picture in my head the massive set of old-fashioned scales this drug dealer had sat on his coffee table right in front of me. I was too young to understand any of their lingo, though. Yes, I mentioned my nan, my mum’s mum. They got smacked up together, and they eventually got clean together. I’ll never know the details of how that came about because neither of them are alive anymore to ask. Mum died when I was 14 by taking an overdose of her methadone, then nan died when was 21 of a heart attack, likely due to the COPD she had developed from years of smoking.

My nan was so full of love for my mum, my sister and me. Some of my favourite childhood memories are being snuggled up in bed listening to her read me stories, which she did with flare and enthusiasm. She would affectionately call us her ‘wobblies,’ and give us more hugs kisses than we ever wanted. My mum definitely inherited her loving nature from her. But love on its own isn’t enough to keep kids clothed and fed and able to go out and do things. This is where the legend that is my grandad comes in. He is still going strong at 66 years old as of writing. God knows where I’d be without him. He’s been my father figure all my life since I never knew who or where my real dad was. He’s hard-working, reliable, responsible and strong. He supported us immensely despite not relating to him biologically. My biological grandfather was a free-spirited busker who liked to smoke and drink a lot, who I only met a hand full of times before he hanged himself when I was 19. His death did not affect me, but my mum’s and nan’s certainly did. I’ll probably have to see my grandad die as well eventually, and I don’t dread anything more.

Although I started off describing my family background by saying it’s obvious where my source of misery comes from, I must emphasise that my family is not the source of my misery. My childhood overall was pretty forgettable. I only have a few memories and they’re fond memories, despite the unfortunate situation I just described. Even getting my face ripped open by the neighbour’s dog when I was six didn’t faze me. It was only when puberty hit me that life started to feel horrible, and it just got worse.

I was an early bloomer, if blooming is what you call it. I call it mutating. I started getting hairy and growing tits when I was 10, and got my period about a year later. Now THAT is a traumatic memory. Waking up and going for a morning wee as usual, sitting down on the toilet and being overcome with horror at the sight of blood covering my pyjamas, realising there’s only one place that could have come from, then investigating the source only to confirm ‘Oh shit, I’m bleeding from between my legs!’ I was living with my nan and grandad at the time and I stayed there (or here, since I’m still living in the same house as of writing) under their guardianship while mum sorted herself out. After the shocking discovery of blood, I immediately ran into nan’s bedroom to wake her up. I vividly remember what and how she responded to me. With a sigh of what seemed like unsettling disappointment she said “Oh, darling, I’m sorry, I’m afraid you’ve got your period.’  I wonder now if she said it like that because she felt guilty for not warning me about this, as she should have. Someone should have. In all fairness I was young, but the other kids in my year at school were soon popping into adolescence alongside me, so I thought that soon enough everyone else would be going through what I was going through, but that wasn’t the case. I was bullied for having chronic acne. I was also a bit of a chubby boffin, but it was mostly the acne that people targeted me for. The girls shaved their legs once they started to get hairy, and I remember thinking ‘Damn, I suppose I’ve got to do that too,’ despite never wearing a skirt. They also seemed to relish in showing off and comparing their bras in the changing rooms, while I hid away as very best as I could. Make-up was a constant battle between students and teachers because they all wanted to look pretty, but it wasn’t allowed in middle school (Year 5-8), so luckily, I had an excuse for not wearing it. I’d regularly complain to my family about hating going to school, and how depressed I was, but it was all put down to teenage blues. ‘You’ll be alright once your hormones settle down,’ I was told more than once.  I remember my nan telling me I would miss going to school when I was older and so far she’s been proven wrong.  

[jengis-morrangis]

Baby Fever

So here’s another fic. I don’t really know where I was going with this. Any feedback is always welcome and my ask box is open. 

For some problems, Dipper could usually trace them back to a single event and find out what caused them. It may not be so direct all the time, rather more of a small snowball rolling down a hill, collecting more snow as it goes along until it forms a massive snowball.

This time, however, Dipper remembers exactly what caused the problem.

They were fourteen. Mabel was out with their mother getting a checkup while Dipper stayed at home reading a book on the couch. The door burst open and Mabel came running in the house and bolted upstairs with tears in her eyes, avoiding looking at Dipper. He put down his book and got up to follow. Something was wrong. As he approached the bottom of the staircase, his mother walked in and motioned for him to stop. He could tell by the look on her face that she was stressed. 

“Hold on there, Dipper.” She said. “I think it’s best we let Mabel have some time to herself for now.”

“Why? What happened?” Dipper asked concerned. Ms. Pines didn’t answer right away. Instead, she sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to her. Dipper sat down and she reached out and took his hands. She wasn’t making eye contact, and the longer she didn’t speak made Dipper’s worry grow more and more. 

“During the checkup this morning,” She said with a voice so small and that tugged on Dipper’s heart. “The doctor found out that Mabel can’t have babies. She’s devastated and I think it’s best we give her some time alone.” Dipper couldn’t believe what she was saying. Mabel loved babies. If anyone deserves a baby it should be her.

He waited on the stairs for about forty-five minutes, give or take a few. His mind was everywhere at once. This was such a surreal situation. He had no idea what to say, he just knew he had to be with her right now. Be by her side. He could hear her crying from her room, and every instinct in his mind told him to go to her, but he forced himself to wait.

When he no longer heard her crying, he quietly walked up the stairs and stood at her door. He took a breath before gently rapping on her door and announcing himself. “Hey Mabel. It’s me. I’m coming in, alright?” 

He slowly opened the door and saw Mabel on her bed wrapped in her sweater. He quietly tiptoed across her room and sat on the edge of her bed. He looked down at Mabel silently sobbing in her sweater. He gently laid his hand on her arm. She shifted slightly and her hand popped out of the hem of her sweater in search of his. He held it tight as she took a deep, shuddering breath. 

She peaked out from the neck of her sweater and Dipper’s heart nearly snapped in two. She had a look of sadness like none other he had ever seen in her. Her eyes were filled with tears. He knew immediately that her despair was immeasurable. She was heartbroken. 

He wanted nothing more than to fix this. He would do anything. But even though he didn’t want to accept it, he knew this couldn’t be fixed. 

===

===

As time went on, Mabel began to recover, but he knew she would never be able to fully move on from it. She was different. Ever so slightly. Most people wouldn’t even notice, but Dipper did.

There were a few times when he noticed her behaving differently. Sometimes when they walk through a park or down the sidewalk, he caught her staring at a mother and her child with a look that can only be described as envy and longing. He thought that someday she may be able to overcome it and fill the void, he hoped so. 

Years passed, and one day in the middle of their junior year of high school their parents sat them down to talk. They sat across from each other at the dinner table, with the twins on one side and them on the other. The twins could tell it was something serious by the way their parents were acting. They didn’t usually have ‘family meetings’ unless it was something important. 

“Kids,” Their mother said with a voice of excitement. She looked at her husband with a look of anticipation that he returned as they squeezed their hands tighter together. “Your father and I are excited to say that soon you two are gonna be older siblings!” She said excitedly. 

“What do you mean?” Dipper asked cautiously. She wasn’t saying what he thought she was, was she? Ms. Pines gave another excited breath.

“We’re having another baby!” She announced merrily. 

Dipper’s eyes shot open, he gasped and started coughing uncontrollably as he choked on his own spit. He was excited about the news, as he rightfully should be. But he couldn’t shake the worry of what this might mean for Mabel. His parents could see the look of anxiety on his face.

“Easy there, Dip.” Said Mr. Pines. “There’s no need to freak out over this. We’ve raised both of you, so one more baby won’t be too different. Just think about it; soon you two are gonna be older siblings! How cool is that?” Mabel was bouncing up and down in her seat in excitement, shaking Dipper by the arm. 

“Oh my gosh, Dip! I’m gonna be a big sis!” She squealed. 

“Alright, settle down now.” Their mother said with a grin. “We expect you guys to help out with things. Having you two was a lot of work, and this baby is gonna require a lot of care, so we need you two to pitch in.”

”Oh my gawd! I gotta tell Wendy and Grenda and Candy and ahhh I can't believe it!” Mabel squealed excitedly before running off, screaming in delight. Once she had disappeared up the stairs, Dipper turned back to his parents. The news was delightful, but he couldn’t help his worrying for Mabel’s sake. 

“You guys don’t think this might be unhealthy for Mabel?” He asked. “I mean you’ve seen how she acts around babies. You really think she can handle this?” 

“Dipper, didn’t you see how excited she was? Everything is gonna be fine.” Mr. Pines assured. Dipper still didn’t feel convinced. 

His parents must have been able to tell, because his mother added, “Look Dipper,” Her voice was gentle and caring. “I know you’re looking out for your sister, and that’s really sweet, but we didn’t plan this. It’s not usual for adults our age to have another baby, but I can promise you this will be heavily rewarding, just like you two were.” He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. Immediately he knew she felt the same way; she was worried. The scars were still fresh, and what happened to Mabel had hurt them all. 

“Okay mom, I trust you.”

===

===

The months went by with them performing their extra duties. They all had to pitch in to be sure their mother and the baby were healthy. Dipper had never seen Mabel so excited. She would always spend time with their mother if she could, holding her belly and pressing her ear against the ever growing bump. Like a child waiting to open their christmas gift. His worry began to melt away gradually as he saw how happy she was. She never seemed to be upset by any of it.

Soon their mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Little Gabriel. He was so small. No bigger than a loaf of bread. He was so warm in Dipper’s arms as he slept peacefully.

Mabel was always excited to interact with him. Whether it be feeding, changing, or playing. Dipper also enjoyed it, and had eased back on his worrying about Mabel. He loved seeing her smile so much.

It might have been a side effect, but Mabel also seemed to be more touchy-feely and affectionate with Dipper. More sleepovers in the same bed, more cuddling time on the couch, and a daily kiss on the cheek. He didn’t think much of it— Mabel had always been affectionate, and judging by how joyful she was it seemed fitting. It seemed like she may finally be making serious progress, and Dipper couldn’t be happier for her.

As spring break was nearing, their parents had gone out for their first date night since Gabriel was born and had left the twins in charge to take care of Gabriel for a night.

Dipper had gone to the store to pick up groceries for dinner, and Mabel stayed home to watch after Gabriel. When he came back, he entered quietly since Gabriel was sleeping when he left. 

He began preparing dinner, expecting Mabel to come downstairs and give him one of her usual hugs and a kiss on the cheek, but there was nothing. Not a sound.

Once he finished preparing dinner he went upstairs to find Mabel, but she was not in her room, so he assumed she was attending to Gabriel.

The door was slightly ajar, so he silently opened the door and stepped in. Across the room he saw Mabel in a chair next to the cradle as she held Gabriel in her arms. She hadn’t noticed Dipper yet as he looked at her. She had a deep look of love and affection that made him feel warm. He looked down at Gabriel and noticed part of Mabel’s shirt was pulled up and Gabriel was sucking on her breast.

Dipper froze. He wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing. In that moment Mabel looked up and made eye contact with him. She froze as well, and the loving look she had before was now replaced with fear. After a few seconds of their awkward staring contest she quickly pulled down her shirt and stood up. She took a step away from Dipper and pulled Gabriel closer. 

“Mabel… what was that?” Dipper asked with trepidation. “What were you doing?” He spoke calmly, but serious. He forced down the anxious voice in the back of his mind to keep himself from panicking. He didn’t want it to be true, but knew the answer was obvious. “Mabel, were you… were you breastfeeding Gabriel?” She looked down at Gabriel, face suddenly flushed. Dipper was no expert in biology, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t how breastfeeding worked. “Mabel, hand me Gabriel.” He said, reaching out to her. She shied away and held Gabriel closer. 

“No no no no.” She spoke quickly in panic as she shook her head. “Dip please you can’t take my baby.” He stopped dead in his tracks. His jaw dropped and the back of his neck turned cold. She looked him in the eyes with sheer terror. More pieces started to fall into place.

“Oh no.” He said quietly. “Oh no, Mabel.” He thought from her excitement for Gabriel that she had somehow been at peace with it, but clearly it hadn’t seemed to change much, if at all. “Mabel, I’m so sorry for what happened but Gabriel isn’t your baby.” Mabel began to cry. Her sobs were painful, and Dipper felt horrible. 

Dipper extended his arms and she reluctantly but carefully handed him Gabriel. He put Gabriel back into the cradle before turning back to Mabel. She was curled up in a ball with her knees drawn to her chest. She was sobbing into her arms as they wrapped around her knees and shoulders. He knelt down next to her and wrapped his arms around her in a protective hug. She lifted her head up and their eyes met. He knew just from her eyes how much this tore at her, how long she had held this in. He wanted nothing more than to help her, to fix the problem, but he knew he couldn't.

Before he realized it, she was pressing her lips to his. Dipper completely froze, and his eyes were wide with shock. They both stayed there for a moment before she pulled away. She looked him in the eyes again, she was so scared. She became flustered, and was shaking as she quickly stood up. She started backing away towards the door, rubbing her trembling hands together nervously. Dipper had never seen her like this. 

“Oh my god.” She said. “Oh my god, Dipper I’m so sorry.” She began sobbing into her hands as she quickly walked out the door and down the hall. Dipper heard her door slam shut a few seconds later.

Dipper couldn’t move. He was confused, shocked, but concerned. He didn’t know how to respond to this. It took him a while to really wrap his head around what is really going on. He didn’t want to even think it, but it seems like Mabel must have developed some sort of mother complex over Gabriel. Oh boy. 

The more he thought about it, the more pieces began to fall into place; her behavior around Gabriel definitely seemed like that of a mother, she spent pretty much any time she could with him, and now the breastfeeding. Dipper knew this wasn’t healthy for her. Then there was that other thing. The kiss. Yeah, that thing. 

What was that for? He didn’t want to think it, but he knew it was likely true; she was putting him in some sort of father position over Gabriel. They would have some nights where they would watch over Gabriel together. Mabel would usually lean into Dipper and rest her head in the crook of his neck as they looked down at the small baby sleeping gently. Thinking back, it seemed so obvious. Thinking about it made Dipper’s stomach tighten.

Mabel’s outburst must have startled Gabriel, because his cries suddenly filled the room. Dipper sat in the chair next to his cradle and gently rocked it side to side, Suddenly feeling so alone and so underprepared for this, so lost. Alone with his thoughts, and crying baby Gabriel. 

You and me both. He thought.

[weirdwhovian4lyfe]

Summertime Reveals (a CU oneshot)

Another day has been saved by the amazing Captain Underpants. The Waistband Warrior stands over a thwarted villain triumphantly, posing while pictures are being taken by adoring fans and students of Jerome Horwitz Elementary. George and Harold stand on the sidelines, watching in pride as their friend gets his 15 minutes of fame for the day. The two can't help but feel a little bit jealous, as they played a significant role in the fight that ended a few minutes ago, but they can let it slide.

“Alright, Cap!” George calls, waving a hand. The Captain looks in his direction. “Show’s over. Gotta get back to HQ!”

Captain Underpants nods and quickly dismisses the reporters that have begin to crowd him. He pushes through the crowd and approaches the boys, scooping them up in his arms before taking to the skies.

The Captain lands on the grass near the Treehouse and sets his sidekicks down gently. They jog over to the ladder to the recently named Head-Quarters and pull down the ladder. Together, the three superheroes climb up into the small house.

“Another great job, Captain!” Harold congratulates his friend as he grabs three cups from a small compartment carved into the tree.

“All thanks to you two,” The Captain replies with a small bow and takes a seat on the floor. “You guys came up with the plan, I simply did the legwork!”

George pulls the trigger on the water gun that contains grape soda. “Give yourself a bit more credit than that! You work really hard, Harold and I just give you tips.”

“I believe it is you who should be given more credit,” Cap responds, genuine concern on his face. “The press never seems to acknowledge you two. I don't like it.”

“Cap, it's fine,” Harold says, handing him a cup of soda. “Really, we'd rather you be in the spotlight. Remember our secret identities?”

“Oh, right!” The Captain takes a sip of his soda then places the cup on the floor. The boys would rather their mothers not see the two of them putting themselves in danger in the company of a half-naked man. “So, what's next on the agenda?”

“Wanna make a comic?” George suggests to Harold. The blond nods and picks up a pencil. The two move to the floor and begin to draw and write respectively. Cap watches in silence, sipping on his soda idly.

This is how most afternoons in the summer went. The boys would go over to Mr. Krupp's house early-ish in the morning and snap their fingers. Even though there wasn't always a threat, the boys liked hanging out with the Captain. They figured that Krupp got to enjoy the school year and was miserable during the summer most of the time anyway, so why not let Cap take advantage of the spare time? After all, he was as much of a person as Krupp was, right?

At first, dealing with the Captain full time was a challenge. Much like them, Cap had a hard time sitting still without something to do. Unlike them, however, what the task was didn't matter one bit to the caped crusader. He was more than happy to do just about anything to keep himself occupied.

This became a problem primarily when George and Harold began working on new comics. They didn't dare let the Captain go into town on his own, especially without clothes. They had actually had a conversation about that very topic once. When presented with the requirement of clothing, the Captain was less than happy. He stopped asking to go into town since then.

That was when George and Harold began to use the Waistband Warrior as a soundboard for their comics. The two began asking their caped friend for feedback, even if they had it already figured out, just to keep him busy in some capacity.

Over time, however, Captain Underpants began to become more and more involved, even introducing entirely new storylines for the comics. George and Harold welcomed the fresh ideas, and their comics were turning out better than ever. The three had become an unstoppable team, both on and off the battlefield.

Back in the present, the sun has begun to set. The boys put down their pencils and look at the Captain with a bit of sadness in their eyes. Cap knows the looks by now and stands.

“Time for me to 'go home?’” he asks, a smile on his face despite the sad tone in his voice. The boys nod. Together, the tree climb down from the treehouse. Cap scoops them up in his arms once more and takes to the skies, flying toward Krupp's house.

A question has been plaguing the Captain's mind for some time now. He sets the boys down in the grass and follows them to the door. They open it with a key and invite themselves in. Cap grabs his cape and fiddles with the end of it nervously as he watches the boys go to the kitchen.

His sidekicks emerge once more, holding a cup of water. They stop when they see the Captain's behavior.

“Cap, what's wrong?” Harold asks.

“What happens to me? When you splash me with water? Why can't I remember?” The superhero blurts before he can stop himself.

George and Harold look at each other knowingly. They knew this time would come eventually. Krupp already knows, it didn't take the principal overly long to connect the dots. Cap, however, has much less context than Krupp ever did, so it doesn’t surprise the boys that he hasn't figured it out yet.

“Do we tell him?” Harold asks.

“I think he have to. He has the right to know,” George points out. Harold nods. They look back to the Captain.

“You may want to sit down for this, Cap.”

The superhero does as suggested, taking a seat right where he is on the floor. George and Harold sit down close to him. They look at each other, not quite sure where to start.

Slowly and carefully, they explain the situation to Captain Underpants. The hypnosis, the water, Mr. Krupp, even the destruction of the ring. When they are finished, the boys stare at their friend silently.

The Captain looks at his hands. “You… tried to get rid of me?” he asks quietly. His voice is small and sad, which takes the boys entirely by surprise. Suddenly, they wish they had left out the part about crushing the ring.

“What? No, Cap we would never--”

“But you did.” He didn't look at them. “Am… am I really that much of a burden?” He looks up now. His expression breaks George and Harold's hearts. Now they really wish they would have left that part out.

“No! No way!” George cries, waving his arms frantically.

“Yeah! We love you, Cap! You were never a burden to us, we just…” Harold trails off, trying to find the right words.

“We couldn't quite… handle you yet,” George finishes quickly. He cringes a bit at his own words. Not the best way to put it.

“Oh,” is all Cap says in response. He sits for a while, silently looking at the floor between his outstretched legs. A million thoughts are racing through his head, thoughts an optimist like himself would usually dismiss without hesitation. However, the Captain wasn't so sure he should. He has caused so much trouble, all while thinking he has been doing the right thing…

“Cap, you know we don't think of you like that anymore, right?” George asks, leaning forward to try and see the superhero's face.

“Yeah! You've grown a lot, big guy!” Harold adds with a nervous smile.

“How do I know you aren't just…. Saying that?” Captain asks with hesitation. The negativity feels weird coming out of his mouth, but the thought keeps plaguing his mind like a fly on a garbage can. His fingers find his cape once more, playing with it absently as he continues to stare at the floor.

For a moment, the boys are speechless. They look at each other in horror. They never expected this, and now that is happening, they don't know how to deal with it.

“Listen, Captain, we--” George cuts himself off when he notices Harold stand up. The blond moves over to the superhero without a word. Suddenly, he opens his arms and hugs Captain so hard that the caped crusader almost falls over.

George soon joins him, wrapping his arms around their friend tightly.

“You could never be a burden to us, Captain Underpants,” George says quietly. Harold nods in agreement. “Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.”

George could hear Harold's stifled sobs despite his friend's best efforts. They never meant to hurt the Captain, and the thought that they may have done so beyond repair was a bit too much for Harold.

Cap was stiff underneath them at first. Then, the boys felt an arm each slowly wrap around them. The Cap simply muttered a quiet, “Ok,” before squishing them tighter to him. A happy smile spread across his face and he closed his eyes. They truly meant it, he could feel it.

After a few minutes, the three separate. Cap stands and straightens his cape, clearing his throat as George picks up the glass of water.

“How long until I see you boys again?”

“Tomorrow morning, around ten o'clock. Sound good?” George asks. Harold nods, sniffling and wiping his nose.

“Sounds great. See you then, sidekicks.”

~~~~~

Hey! I hope that was ok, its my first time writing anything CU related. I hope you enjoyed :)

[slinkinginshadows]

One Life for Another

Summary: Ryou wants Mariku out of the shadows, and has to make a deal to get him back that involves becoming a surrogate for a demon.

Warnings: Demon pregnancy with a male character (but with ‘normal’ birthing organs), body horror, eating of a dead animal because of cravings, and a birthing scene. No sex/impregnation, though.

Wordcount: 5776

Well, this took a full month to make, the longest I’ve worked on something and the longest oneshot I’ve made in my 7 years of fanfic-ing, so I’d really love reblogs/replies/feedback!

Can mostly be read without context of yu gi oh, the ‘plot-related’ stuff is just why he’s pregnant. All you need to know is that in the series, Mariku was sealed into an alternate dark reality that’s referred to as ‘the Shadows’ and that really sucks, it’s full of monsters and junk, and Ryou wants him out. Ryou’s body is good at handling magic because he was a host to a creature from the shadows that he was often possessed by.

Ryou had clawed his way into the shadows for this, and he wasn’t leaving without Mariku. They’d managed to communicate through a Ouija board and a few possessions that had allowed them to talk, but as much as Mariku had tried to hide it, he was getting weaker. He’d either die or become completely unresponsive, and Ryou couldn’t have that.

Which was why his magical projection was talking to a demon. They had skin the color of red velvet cupcakes, and a grin at Ryou’s nervous chatter.

“You want me to draw this man you love from the darkness for no payment?”

“What do you want?” Ryou chose each word carefully, and the demon paused to think. Ryou was struck by their eyes- a dazzling, almost ruby-red color.

“I want… you.”

“Me?” Ryou half-squeaked, before steadying himself. “If you want my virginity, then- “

“Oh, no, pet. I mean you. Your body.”

“You want to possess me?” He tried again, and again the demon shook their head.

“I can tell your body is strong in the ways of magic. If you want this man back, then you will consent to carry a child for me.”

Ryou’s eyes widened. “You want me as an incubator.”

They clapped their hands. “Bingo! One life for another. I give you what you want, and you give me what I want. That sounds fair, don’t you think?”

Ryou swallowed. “I assume this is the only deal you’ll take.”

“Unless you’re willing to offer your soul, which people seem so stingy with nowadays, yes.”

“Then with a few conditions, I’ll accept.” Ryou tried to take a breath, but the shadow magic slithered down his throat like the humidity on a muggy summer day.

“You’re not in much of a position to be making caveats.” Still, the demon didn’t immediately banish him, listening.

“First, you’ll guarantee I’ll survive birth, and second, you’ll give me an appropriate entrance and organs so it doesn’t have to burst out of my chest.” He paused. “You’ll also send Mariku back not-dead, and without any diseases or deadly injuries that mean he’ll die soon. He comes back whole or not at all. And you don’t get to take him back when the baby is born.”

The demon laughed. “You have flair! Fine, I shall accept your conditions. I couldn't care less what happens to him, honestly. Now that the dark one has been banished, I can rescue your precious lover. The moment he is in your arms, you will be with child, my child, and from conception to delivery, you will not die or be gravely injured. It would do me no good to kill you, after all. Deal?”

Ryou swallowed, holding out a hand that the demon took. “Deal.”

xxxx

Ryou had been sitting on the couch and trying not to think of everything that could go wrong when Mariku was dumped unceremoniously on his lap. The second they touched, he felt a twinge in his gut, and a searing fire moments later, accompanied by what felt like the area between his legs being ripped open. He couldn’t even see the look on Mariku’s face as he doubled over, hissing through his teeth.

Pain. He should have asked it to not be painful.

“Wh-what’s going on?” Mariku’s voice wasn’t full of bravado, stripped raw. “Is that- Ryou, is that you?” He leaned forward to touch the soft face currently dripping with sweat, fingers running down pale skin like it was the most precious silk in the world. “Did I die?”

“N-no.” Ryou choked out, the stabbing agony starting to recede, before a concentrated pinprick of boiling lava in his lower stomach forced another gasp out of him. “I brought you back.”

Mariku’s hand stilled. “You brought me back?”

For the first time, Ryou realized what a state the other was in- his hair was so matted down from unwash and blood that he looked more like Malik than ever. His clothes were torn and filthy, and bruises decorated his skin. But most of all, his eyes were deep and haunted, more like a child that had seen a pile of rotted corpses than the monster everyone had known during Battle City.

He knew instantly that he’d made the right choice before passing out into Mariku’s arms.

xxxx

Ryou woke up still on the couch, with an assortment of jackets and sweaters strewn loosely over his body. Mariku was on the other end, bouncing a leg and biting his nails down enough his fingers were bleeding. Ryou wasn’t hurting anymore, at least.

“Hey.” He pushed himself up, and Mariku whirled around.

“You’re not- what the fuck happened?” Anger and fear slipped together like a molotov cocktail as he grabbed Ryou’s collar, a raincoat sliding off with a swishing sound.

“I…” Ryou was dizzy with the weight of what was sinking in as reality. “I made a deal, to get you back.”

“If you were fucking around with Zorc, Ryou, I will strangle you.” His concern slipped through the furious words.

“Zorc’s gone. The pharaoh banished him. Besides, I wouldn’t make a deal with him.” Ryou almost spat the last word out. “It was a lesser demon.”

“What did you give up, then? For… me?” The grip on his collar loosened slightly. “Don’t say you bet yourself.”

“They wanted… a surrogate.” Ryou said slowly.

Mariku’s face twisted, this time with confusion. “A what?”

“Someone to carry a baby for them. I don’t think they can reproduce on their own, or at least, not reliably.”

“Oh.” Mariku’s amethyst eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Ryou set a hand on his stomach- it was thin now, but he had no doubt in the coming months it would swell. “Oh. But I didn’t want you dying there, no one deserves that, and you should get another chance at- “

Mariku lunged at him and wrapped him up in quite possibly the tightest hug Ryou had felt in his life.

“I don’t deserve this.” It was choked through the beginning of a sob, and Ryou set a hand on his back. Even being as gentle as he could, it caused a wince of pain that Mariku tried to shove back, and Ryou took a deep breath.

He could do this. He’d have regretted it for the rest of his life if he hadn’t.

Now he just had to make it to delivery and they’d be fine. He’d ask for happily ever after, but right now, he’d be content with just… living.

xxxx

Ryou had work, but he’d summoned Mariku back during winter break, and he usually worked from home anyway, so they had time to grow re-acquainted. The first few days had been interesting, in which Mariku had torn apart practically his entire fridge- it was his first food in over two years, after all. Ryou had never been able to do more than communicate, and the occasional burnt offering hadn’t reached him. Ryou had gotten him some new clothes, but he often layered odd combinations, like a hoodie under one of Ryou’s old trench coats. Ryou thought it was endearing, honestly- he was learning to be human.

He also insisted on sharing a bed with Ryou, even though they’d done nothing more than cuddle with the occasional kiss on the cheek or forehead.

It took two weeks for the morning sickness to kick in. He was making coffee when his stomach violently protested and he scrambled for the trash, acidic bile stinging his throat and lips as it came up. He tried to pull back his hair with one hand, the other trembling as it clutched the plastic bag inside the can. All the sites he’d looked at had said that usually morning sickness and the like didn’t happen until a month in.

He took a long shower that day.

xxxx

By the end of the first month, Ryou started running his fingers over his stomach whenever he wasn’t doing something that required both hands. He knew the child was in there- Mariku was sitting on the couch to prove it- but he wouldn’t see anything for another month and a half, at least.

He curled up on his computer chair, pulling his legs up. Mariku was drawing. When he drew, it was usually monsters he’d seen in the shadows- a coping mechanism, no doubt. It took him a few minutes to notice Ryou’s typing sounds had stopped.

“Did you die?” It was a question he asked frequently, his equivalent to ‘are you all right’, Ryou figured.

“ ‘m fine.” Ryou murmured. “Tired.”

“Normal tired?”

“I’unno.” Ryou pressed his chin into his knees. “It’s… too early to tell if it’s the baby or not.” He knew he shouldn’t call it that. He shouldn’t get attached, because he wasn’t going to keep it.

“I still can’t believe you’re willing to go through that for me.” His filter was nonexistent, a fact Ryou appreciated. He didn’t have to worry something went unspoken when Mariku blurted out anything that came to mind.

“And I don’t regret it.” Ryou slid off the chair, then sunk into the couch, resting his head on Mariku’s lap once Mariku shoved the drawing supplies off of it. “I’d have done anything short of trading myself, and that’s only because then I’d never be able to see you.”

Mariku ran a hand through Ryou’s hair, tugging too hard a few times, but eventually combing it to smooth. “I can’t believe we ever just called you the host. You’re so much more than that.”

Ryou blinked. It wasn’t often Mariku referred to Malik, even if it was in the plural involving them both. He smiled softly. “I really am a host now, though.”

Mariku rolled his eyes.

xxxx

Ryou hated the mood swings. He found himself sobbing when he dropped a mug full of tea, even though he’d been meaning to get rid of that cracked one anyways. He snapped at the mailman for coming ten minutes late, then realized what he was saying and fumbled over an apology. He felt nauseous almost constantly, and had moved a trash can into every room to save his poor carpet.

That was on top of the fact that he felt tired all the time. He took naps during the day, but it didn’t help the omnipresence of dark bags under his eyes and constant yawns.

Mariku was starting to get worried.

“This isn’t killing you, is it?”

Ryou shook his head, curling up with a blanket. “No, they… they promised I wouldn’t die. That was one of my conditions, and they can’t back out of something that explicit. Could kill me after…” He yawned. “After delivery, I suppose, but what would the point of that be? They’ll have their baby, I won’t matter anymore.”

Mariku grabbed Ryou’s hand, squeezing it. “If they try, I’ll rip their eyes out.”

Ryou smiled weakly, grimacing as a cramp hit him. “I’d like to see that.”

xxxx

At a month and a half, Ryou started bringing home more fast food. Mariku eagerly dove into it- Malik had always avoided grease, but he loved it. Ryou liked seeing Mariku eating happily, but honestly, he bought it because felt like he’d die if he didn’t have the grease and sugar. He could nibble on a carrot now and then, but anything solely healthy had gone the way of coffee in that it made his nausea worse.

He had no idea if it was healthy for the baby, probably not, but maybe demon babies didn’t need carrots and were making sure he knew that.

After almost a week straight of nothing but takeout, Ryou noticed a small layer of pudge around his middle. Great.

xxxx

It was hard to tell with the slight weight he’d gained, but Ryou swore he finally felt something hard under his hand when he pressed down at the end of two months. It was tiny, but it was there. His stomach cramped up, but when he gagged, nothing came up.

Oh. Right. He’d already thrown up everything he’d eaten that day about an hour earlier.

He hoped the demon didn’t operate on a human timeframe, because he wasn’t looking forward to another seven months of this.

xxxx

At two months and two weeks, Ryou was officially showing, even though it wasn’t obvious unless he had his shirt off. He’d started leaving his jeans unbuttoned or just wearing sweatpants, the swell against tight fabric uncomfortable. He was glad he worked designing games and writing campaigns from home, because he’d started feeling irritated by anything and everything. He snarled at Mariku for leaving a half-empty glass of juice in the fridge, and for dropping a sharpie Ryou had been using.

Neither had gone over well, both escalating into the both of them shouting until Ryou turned white and started retching into the trash can, and they both realized he wasn’t actually mad, just having a swing.

Ryou had started sticking a note on his shirt that said ‘I’m not actually mad at you, it’s the hormones’ and Mariku plucked it off and waved it at him when he got too pissy.

xxxx

They kissed on the lips after a marathon of b-list horror movies that made both of them laugh. It would have been hard to take them seriously anyways, but once you’d been through hell and come back swinging, they were a lot funnier. Ryou had been rambling off trivia about the special effects when Mariku had brushed his hand against Ryou’s cheek and asked if he could kiss him.

Ryou had replied by pressing their lips together, tasting popcorn butter and soda chapstick. When he pressed himself closer, he could feel the bump resting between them and tried to think of it as proof this was real.

xxxx

Ryou woke with a splitting headache at the day after three months. He filled and drank down a glass of water about six times, but his head still buzzed like there were bees inside of it. He knew he’d have to buy new clothes soon, most of what he had, while not form-fitting, wasn’t exactly loose, and besides-

Something moved.

Something moved.

He practically tore his shirt off, and Mariku grumbled at the movement, before seeing the look on Ryou’s face.

“What is it?”

“It’s moving.” Ryou’s voice was awed. “It’s not supposed to for another two weeks at least.”

“Nothing is normal about us, or that.” Mariku set a hand against Ryou’s stomach and frowned. “It’s hot.”

“Mmm?” Ryou gingerly prodded his belly, and realized Mariku was right. He could feel the heat starting to trickle up his spine. “Demon baby, remember? I should probably start expecting things to start going strange soon. For all I know, it’ll be more than nine months. I hope not, though.” He took a slow, deep breath.

Mariku’s fingers curled up on Ryou’s skin, and he locked eyes with him. “I’ll be with you. Even if it eats through your insides and tries to attack me.”

Ryou laughed. “My brave knight!”

Mariku leaned in for a kiss and it squirmed around again and this time, Ryou found he almost liked the sensation.

xxxx

Ryou was really glad he worked from home now, because even just walking the train to go to the store and back was starting to wind him. He could still hide the 15-week-old bump fairly easily under a few layers, but his back was killing him if he wasn’t back in his comfy chair within an hour. Mariku accompanied him to carry the heavier items. Ryou was glad that other from the occasional snarl at someone for cutting in line or trying to flirt with Ryou, he behaved. He loved trying new things, be they smoothie samples or riding in a train. Everything was new to him- even things that Malik had experienced. If it happened after they were split at age ten, it was fuzzy, through a haze of fog.

If Ryou felt like crying from a particularly bad cramp or itching at his skin from the inside, he just had to pull out the picture of Mariku sitting in a field of dandelions and sticking his tongue out slightly, trying to make them into a very sticky flower crown.

Six more months.

xxxx

Things started going sideways at 20 weeks.

Ryou had begun sleeping on his side, the bump too big to sleep on his front and the baby weighing down his bladder if he slept on his back.

“Hrrk…” Unfortunately, the nausea hadn’t gone away, so he always kept a garbage can right next to the bed, but this morning, he tasted something distinctly metallic mixed in with the bile.

When he flicked the light on, the typical yellowish-brown of sickness was red with blood and almost bubbling. He gagged again, before tying the bag off and throwing it out.

On the other side of the bed, Mariku turned over, eyes squeezed shut as he whined in his sleep about the loss of his living pillow, and Ryou washed out his mouth before crawling back into bed, warm belly between them.

xxxx

The next day, Ryou was cooking when a flash of heat struck him like he’d been shoved in a fire, and he dropped the spoon directly into the pan, gritting his teeth. Sweat dripped down his skin, and he gripped the counter.

“Are you- you’re all right, aren’t you?” Mariku was by his side in an instant- or at least it seemed like it. Maybe it had been a few minutes. Time wasn’t working right.

“I’m… fine.” Ryou mumbled, hand dropping to his stomach. Other than a few pounds of extra padding, it was starting to be obvious to any outside observer that what was settled in his body wasn’t just fat.

“You… don’t sound fine.” Mariku said, wrapping his arms loosely around Ryou. “It’s hurting you, isn’t it?”

Ryou bit his lip- the contact felt like ice and lava at once. “I can handle it.”

“You… you know you don’t have to.”

“I’m never sending you back.” Ryou said firmly, and Mariku pulled away. As soon as his arms were gone, Ryou missed them.

xxxx

Ryou wanted to tear his hair out more than once by the end of the week. His energy rose and dropped like a roller coaster- one minute, he wanted to redecorate the living room and cook enough food to last a year, the next he felt like a remote running on a four-year-old battery, barely able to even sit up. It didn’t help that the hot flashes were starting to occur daily, leaving him stripped down to just his boxers most days.

And of course that meant he saw it very clearly every time he looked down. He’d been so skinny before, it was jarring seeing his stomach almost blocking his toes. Pink lines dripped down his pale skin like paint, and it was moving a lot more now.

It didn’t help that it had already developed something sharp (claws or teeth, he didn’t know) and bruises dotted his belly.

Mariku offered him hugs and kisses belly rubs, but Ryou could see that he felt sick knowing that the only reason Ryou had to go through this was because of him, so Ryou usually turned him down on anything longer than a kiss, unless he felt really weak.

He could deal with it. He’d been host to the concentrated essence of the lord of darkness, he could handle a few kicks.

xxxx

Ryou hissed, curling his arms around his stomach. He’d been half-living off fast food during most of the pregnancy, but his stomach was starting to adamantly reject it. That would have been fine, but nothing else he ate- salads, pasta, veggies- settled properly either, leaving him perpetually starving. He swore his cheeks looked sunken in when he glanced in the mirror. The weight he'd gained was gone, leaving him feeling hollow everywhere but his middle.

His stomach growled on the way home from the store one day, and he sniffed the air. Something smelled good, for the first time in weeks, and he followed it to see a dead mouse laying belly-up in the alley behind his apartment.

He stared. It was surrounded by bits of chocolate- most likely someone had thrown a large bag of candy away and it had gorged itself to death.

His mind resisted but his stomach overrode it and he picked up the mouse, walked inside, washed it off, and shoved it in his mouth whole. He bit down only on the tail, and the blood tasted good.

Blood tasted good.

He was 23 weeks. More than halfway there, hopefully.

He just needed to stay sane.

xxxx

None of his clothes fit properly. Even his pants were too tight- his hips and butt had gained just enough weight he couldn’t comfortably wear even sweatpants anywhere but home, so he resigned himself to buying two sizes larger of everything, knowing the growing wasn’t done.

He had to take laps around the apartment at least twice a day or everything felt swollen. He’d started bringing home steak, and only cooked it for ten minutes, far under safe levels, before tearing into it, body craving the near-raw meat as well as plain bread and raw sugar.

His body was going to hate him when this was all over.

xxxx

One side effect that he hasn’t expected was an increase in his libido. He’d managed just fine with toys before Mariku had come back, but he’d set a rule that they couldn’t touch below the waist until the pregnancy was over in case it would hurt the baby and undo the deal. Unfortunately, since Mariku didn’t usually leave the apartment except with Ryou and his belly was big enough now that it was difficult to handle on his own, he’d taken to humping pillows once Mariku had gone to bed, thoughts of the other’s strong arms and beautiful face pushing him to the limit. He didn’t know if Mariku assumed that pillows needed to be cleaned a lot or just didn’t want to bring it up.

Ryou was going to jump him the second this was all over.

xxxx

30 weeks and his stomach felt like it had a lead weight inside of it most of the time. He had started piling pillows on the seat and back of his computer chair, but work was hard to focus on with a squirming weight constantly kicking and clawing at him. It made it difficult to sleep, and he was pretty sure the bags under his eyes were big enough to be classified as sentient entities.

Mariku only seemed to get more worried. “This is killing you. I can see your cheekbones.” He stroked a hand down Ryou’s face, fingers tracing over the alarming lack of fat on his cheeks. “It’s sucking the life out of you.”

“It can’t kill me.” Ryou said, trying to sound more confident than he felt as both hands cradled his swollen stomach. “That was part of the deal.” At a particularly harsh jab, he lifted his arm to see a bruise blooming next to his belly button. “Oh, you hush.”

“It doesn't mean you won't die of malnutrition twenty minutes after birth. You need to eat more.”

“Mariku, I’m already eating twice as much as I used to, and then some.”

“Bullshit. You didn’t eat anything today besides half a pound of hamburger and a bag of carrot sticks.”

“Demon babies lead to weird cravings. You didn't see the protein bars I had for breakfast..” Ryou stifled a burp, the ghost of the meat he’d had for lunch coming back up.

“You’re never in bed, and you never stop moving when you are.”

“You try sleeping with a stomach the size of a minivan strapped to your midsection.” Ryou tried to laugh, but his lungs didn’t quite seem able to pull in enough air.

“I’d rather go back than see you kill yourself for me.” He grabbed Ryou’s wrists, watching as Ryou froze.

“Don’t… don’t say that.”

“It’s true. I hate seeing you dying just for my sake. I love it here, you know that, I love ice cream and fresh grass and the way you look when something really cheesy happens in a horror movie, but I’d give it up to know that you were all right.” He set a hand on top of Ryou’s belly. “Promise me that if it ever is too much, you’ll find some way to cancel the deal.”

He could feel blood bubble under his skin as he was clawed from the inside. He nodded.

“Promise.”

He was good at lying.

xxxx

32 weeks and he’d stopped cooking altogether. His cravings were either for takeout or raw meat, and he’d started sending Mariku to the store by himself, not wanting to leave the apartment. He felt like a tense violin string, tightened too much.

All of his shirts were pretty much crop tops now, and stretchmarks decorated his belly, digging into the skin.

He was lucky that he mostly communicated with his friends through texting or they would have checked him into the hospital by now. He waddled more than he walked, and often leaned on the furniture, getting winded easily.

He couldn’t deny it anymore- it was draining him. More than just his energy and scraps of magic, his arms and legs both seemed thinner than they had before. The pregnancy sites he’d looked at said he should be gaining weight, but the growing number on the scale he had to use his phone to look at could only be attributed to the growth around his middle. Maybe he’d get lucky and it would want out early, but he doubted that.

xxxx

He’d collapsed while walking around the apartment twice, and Mariku had tucked him into bed so tightly it was like a straightjacket of blankets. 34 weeks and he felt more like an incubator over a person than ever, sweat matting his long hair to his face and neck. He was starving all the time, and if they didn’t keep enough food in the room, he ended up chewing on whatever was nearby, which in one case- that would have been funny in any other context- was a candle. It wanted food, and if he didn't give in to it, it not only drove him to feel complete starvation, but started gnawing on Ryou's body itself, causing some of the worst pain of this whole ordeal.

He curled around his belly, only the top of his knees not touching it, and hugged a stuffed Malice Doll of Demise Yugi had given him as a birthday present ages ago. The thing had grown so large that every movement scraped inside of his skin, and he sobbed into the doll when Mariku was in the shower.

xxxx

At 35 weeks, he broke. He’d been trying to eat a box of candy when his stomach turned over and he gagged into the trash can. A soothing hand rubbing on his back, combined with the heat spreading up his chest and pooling in his belly, was too much. He choked out a sob.

“Ryou?” Mariku’s eyes widened as Ryou buried his face in his chest, unable to fully hug him with his parasite-filled stomach in the way.

“It hur-hurts…” He sobbed, sure that Mariku could feel the movements. “I… I know I can do this, b-but…”

“Shhh, shh, it’s okay…” Mariku’s tone switched from soothing to heavy with fury. “As soon as they come to collect the thing, I’m ripping their heads off.”

“No, they’ll… they’ll send you back.” Ryou gripped desperately at the other’s shirt. “I’m going through all this shit for you, you… you better appreciate it.” He gritted his teeth at another writhing scratch. “Any bigger and it’ll rip me… it'll rip me open. It’s got to come out soon.”

“It damn well better.” Mariku pressed a kiss to Ryou’s lips. “You brought me back to this world, and I don’t want to live in it without you.”

xxxx

His water broke at the end of 36 weeks when he was snuggled up with a blanket on the couch. The movements had grown so bad that he didn’t even notice contractions starting for the first few hours, hadn’t told Mariku to stay home. They’d gotten low on food, so Mariku sworn he’d only be gone an hour.

As soon as the pain started proper, Ryou didn’t know how he’d missed it. His hips were being slammed with jackhammers and he arched up, biting into a pillow to fight back a scream. If he started screaming, he’d never stop. He tugged at his shorts, legs already starting to cramp up, and dropped them on the ground, curling up.

Breathe. Breathe. Try and spread his legs. The contractions were harsh but had about ten minutes between them. He regretted not giving Mariku a phone, now at the whim of when he’d return with the damn groceries, and Ryou hugged the pillow like it was a lifeline.

By the time the door creaked open, forty-five minutes after the water broke, his face was smeared with tears and dark fluid was leaking unto the couch cushions. He couldn’t tell if it was blood or just something that resembled it, and at this point he didn’t care.

Mariku dropped the bags, rushing forward. “Oh shit, oh shit, it’s time already?” Ryou nodded mutely, hugging the pillow tighter as another contraction shot through him, and a pained whine hissed past his lips. “Okay, fuck, just… try and breathe.”

They’d agreed no hospitals. The demon was probably coming to get the thing as soon as it was born, and they’d have more questions to answer than either was ready to deal with. Still, Ryou sorely wished they’d been able to do more than just look up ‘what should happen during birth’ on the internet. Mariku looked down between his legs, and gently pressed at the widening entrance. Ryou grunted. “Dun’ touch it.”

“It looks pretty well spread, you should… probably start pushing.”

“I just want it ou-ghhhh!” Ryou squeezed his eyes shut, the urge to push down strong enough that he obeyed, pressure shoving downwards as he started feeling movement.

“That’s it, just… just keep doing that.” Mariku had one hand on his knee and the other one his opposite thigh and Ryou tried to focus on his worried face instead of the agony currently ripping his stomach and hips apart. He really hoped the demon had widened his hips enough for a somewhat non-agonizing birth, but from the way they felt like someone was knocking mallets on the inside of the bone, he doubted it.

Another contraction and he gasped, feeling the movements shift sharply and start moving downwards, bit by bit.

Mariku offered his hand and Ryou gripped it so tightly that he ended up carving crescents into skin, blood oozing around his fingers. He tried to breathe evenly, but his head spun, his stomach twisted, and his vision swirled with both pain and sweat dripping down his forehead. The contractions shortened to only a few minutes between them and he pushed at every one, but progress was slow, sometimes even stopping entirely.

The clock ticked an hour, then two. Mariku had moved back down to Ryou’s legs, trying to watch progress, as Ryou was starting to feel like a ragdoll stuffed with dead batteries.

“The head’s starting to come out!”

Ryou gritted his teeth and forced his last dregs of energy into continuing to push, feeling the thing starting to slide through his entrance. “Ffffffuck!”

“The head’s almost out, one more push- damn, this thing has little horns- just keep going!” Mariku encouraged. “You’re almost done with the hard part!”

“Easy for you to say!” Ryou snapped, nerves a fried electrical outlet. He groaned, giving a hard internal shove, and heard a sickening, slimy ‘pop!’ as the head was fully pushed out. He hissed as Mariku brushed the lips of his entrance as he started gently brushing the baby off.

“One more push and that’s all of it.”

Ryou took a long breath, bracing himself for the next contraction and gripping the ruined fabric of his pillow that he’d ripped up during the process. When it rocked through him, he bore down and gasped in relief as he could feel the rest of the body exit.

Mariku immediately set the thing down and brushed hands covered in birthing fluid and blood across Ryou’s face. “You’re still alive. Please say you’re-“

“I’m alive.” Ryou coughed, but smiled weakly, swaying. Mariku pulled him into a hug, but he gasped, stomach still very sore, and Mariku pulled back with stumbled apologies. Ryou felt one last contraction and gasped, pushing again, before feeling something slick slide out- the placenta, most likely.

There was a wailing noise, and Mariku scooted back down to look at the thing. It gripped up at nothing with dark eyes and clawed hands, and when its tail swayed through the air, Mariku’s thumb was cut by the sharp end. He winced. “I can’t imagine having to carry that thing.”

“Guess I am the…” Ryou swallowed, breathing still not quite coming in right, “The strong one, then.”

A cloud of smoke swirled into existence, and Mariku gripped Ryou’s shoulders protectively as they were faced with the demon that had made the deal.

“Oh, aren’t they precious?” It picked up its spawn, cooing. “You did well. Some of the hosts die from shock afterwards.”

Mariku growled. “Never touch him again.”

“Oh, I never touched him in the first place. Magic insemination makes it nice and easy if you’re not an incubus, you know. Less messy.” He turned to face Ryou, who was currently trying to muster up the energy to glare but not really making it. “As for you, don’t worry. I don’t care about you enough to enact some cherry-on-top trick like some demons might. I’ll even give you a present- you can keep the organs, if you ever want to have something with your sweetheart there.”

Ryou gritted his teeth. “Thank you.” His body was wet cement and he wanted to sleep for a year.

The demon gave a finger-waggling wave before disappearing, leaving scorch marks on the carpet. True to its word, the fire that had accompanied the ‘gift’ of birthing organs didn’t appear again. Ryou couldn’t summon up the energy to care. His hips hurt, his stomach hurt, his very existence was a rubbed-sore bruise, and when Mariku gingerly picked him up to carry him to bed, he nuzzled into the scarred chest and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

[iawv]

She Called Him Fen’Harel - Chapter 9

This chapter was resting in my documents folder for last two years. The creation of it was long, hard, even painfull. After a long struggle and block I decided it is impossible for me to change it again. I am not able to write it differently. I don't want to tbh.

Maybe it is stupid of me to post it after two years break. Possibly it is but I will do it. I am doing it. I like this story. It sits in my head. I want to finish it. I just don't know how long will it take.

So, guys, I hope you will read it and I really hope you will give me some feedback. My block is not gone but today I wrote the end to this chapter so maybe there is still hope for me. Sorry for my english - I am still learning. Enjoy this short chapter and pls let me know if u want more.

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On wolves and demons

The wolf snapped. He fought the manacles of a leghold trap. The metal bit into him but the animal seemed not to care. He would rip the flesh from his bones to reclaim what had gone beyond his reach. “Mana, mana!” her father's hands were in seconds on animal's head, his neck, holding him, soothing him. “Atisha. Listen to me. Calm down.” There was a command in her father's voice, which caught a wolf's attention, but it was the fear that brought the animal back to himself. Concern for his own life. Blood was running down his leg. The arrow stuck deep between his ribs. The creature made himself stop, baring his teeth but he kept his eyes on the elder elf.

"He will not survive this, my daughter" her father stated quietly. She came closer, her eyes widened, breathing heavy as she leaned next to them both. "He will not. Can we help him, papae?" she asked kneeling next to the tall blond-haired elf. His gaze met hers, and he raised his hand to brush her red hair from her forehead "We can, da'len." He handed her the knife then and nodded "You have just reached a thirteen year of your life, Celia. I believe you can take another step into your maturity." he spoke to her gently and calmly stroking wolf's head at the same time. "Lenalin?" young Celia's eyes filled with tears and her gaze drifted from her father's face to big, grey wolf. She saw it coming. She experienced it many times before. Shems killing wolves for their furs and claws, selling them later as souvenirs. Cheap toys to gain dirty money. She sobbed and took a deep breath deciding to trust father's decision - if he was certain of her capability, she should be too. She wiped away her tears with her wrist while her hand tightened on the blade. "You know what to do, Celia" her father sent her one of his most firm looks and squeezed her arm, "Remember, ashalan, every being deserves comfort and gentle death. Do what you must." She nodded, closed her eyes and started to pray softly. "Fen'Harel, grant that my blade does not wobble. Give me strength and confidence because here I am  to release one of your kinsmen." A small hand on neck stroked the warm, thick fur with sympathy and compassion. The quick blade cut the artery in strong, firm move. The wolf's last heartbeat under her small fingers, all that was him was gone. His last breath on her cheek as she hugged him ignoring the blood soaking into her hair. "I am proud of you, Celia." * * * * In the quiet darkness of moonless night, Falherna shook her head from memory. She stood by the lake next to their camp. It was her shift. The stars glittered overhead in a splash. The wind pulsed around her steadily. Carefully, her fingertips traced the scar at the center of her forearm, a token given to her by Fen few weeks before the Conclave. The sight of it made her throat tighter. She sighed quietly at the reminder of what she had, what she could lose in a few hours if Fen would happen to be among the wolves they intended to find. Dire thoughts fell heavy on her heart. Another tough decision. Another wolf in her life that she could lose. Another crack in her soul. She ran the hand across her face as if she was trying to wipe something away; sorrow, perhaps, or exhaustion. She inhaled deeply and went back to the fire. She sat down on the bedroll next to the flames, pulling her knees up under her chin. The situation required the strength of will, and she was a woman who did not lack it, neither did she lack logic. A simple syllogism guided her that she had the power over the thoughts that she admitted into her mind and that emotions were a derivative of the thoughts, that she could feel nothing that she did not previously think about. Feelings were a physical reaction to the thought which led her to the conclusion that by controlling her own thoughts, she was able to exercise power over her feelings. She was able to manipulate her emotions, to change them, by working on the thoughts that preceded them. She believed that only the those who alone could control their feelings were truly free. "You can only control what you are aware of; what you are unaware of controls you." her father's words spoke in her mind. Falherna gasped and closed her eyes as she started to open her mind to all the thoughts and emotions which accompanied them. She felt fear about her wolf - alone, corrupted; anger at herself and Fen because they did not found each other yet; furious because of the Breach and the mysterious person who doomed this world; sorrow because of the possibility she would not be able to save her wolf. Hands wrapped around her legs clenched into fists as she slowly acknowledged of what waited ahead. Seconds changed into minutes, minutes into hours as Falherna processed all scenarios. Without any other solution at hand, I will kill you ma Fen, she thought finally clearing her mind, accepting the situation and its consequences. A sense of dreaminess overcame her, her muscles relaxed, and she was on the point of giving way to a desire to sleep when the quiet sound reached her ears. A sound behind her as of somebody moving cautiously. Falherna cocked her head, tracing the line of trees and rocks. The silence that fell was disturbed only by the small hum of water. It came again. The sound of broken branches. The hair on the back of her neck prickled when the similar sound came from the other side of the lake. After the first growl, she rose slowly locking her gaze on the last source of the sound. "Wake up!" she raised her voice slightly withdrawing to the fire, bending carefully; one move after another. "Seeker! Varric!" she called when three pairs of green eyes glimmered in the dark. Her fingers squeezed the arm of Solas who was sleeping nearby. She shook him "Get up!". "What's wrong with you, Brighteyes?!" Varric mumbled leaving his tent and rubbing his eyes. "Varric, grab Bianca. Slowly. We are surrounded!" Falherna hissed in response. Another two pairs of eyes appeared, a deep growl cut the dark night. Adrenaline rushed through her blood. Without second thoughts she reached for a log setting it on fire, creating a torch and brandishing it to lightened up the small space in front of her. Falherna allowed herself for one brief look under her shoulders noticing Varric with Bianca in his grip and Seeker peering from her tent, with a sword in her hands, always ready to fight. "Five wolves around us," she informed them calmly, "We need to wake up Solas" her eyes focused on the animal few steps ahead as she poked Solas' arm with her barefoot. "Chuckles!" Varric roared under his breath at the apostate. Letting out a quiet groan Solas sat up on an elbow and rubbed his eyes, blinking away sleep and squinting against the dim firelight. "Solas, get up. Slowly." Falherna asked him quickly remembering to keep her voice low and firm. He looked around still slightly confused, but it took him only a few seconds to recognize the situation and the danger. In the dead of night, many shining eyes were seen peering on them. "Wolves" he murmured bringing himself to his feet. A dark wolf could be seen halted, gazing at them. A shuddering howl broke from him as if he were a captain summoning his pack to the assault. The wolf snarled and sprang towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp twang. Varric had loosed Bianca. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping shape thudded to the ground; the arrow had pierced its throat. The green watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Their enemies were routed and did not return. * * * * "It was Alpha," Falherna stated as indifferently as if she was stating that the Breach's color was green. "No normal wolf would fight with such determination," Cassandra noticed cleaning her sword. They slowly came back to the fire camp. "The Breach may have driven them mad... or perhaps a demon took command of the pack," Solas suggested looking at Falherna who still stand at the wolf's corpses. "A demon?" Fal crouched to take a closer look at wolf's eyes. A green light was gone as was this poor animal. "Or a Breach drove..." he repeated understanding he made another mistake and said too much. She interrupted him "I understand your assumption about the Breach. I want to understand better what brought the idea about a demon" she sounded harsh while they hand was gently stroking the fur of the dead wolf.   "Well, demons pouring from the Breach have the ability to poses different creatures such as..." he started to explain with academic tone. She interrupted him once again "Wolves... yes..." "You did not hear it?" she stood up slowly and brushed off the dirt from her cloak. Then she looked at him and even in the dimmed light, he noticed she is irritated. Cassandra and Varric raised their gaze at her. "When we killed it" her voice was now calm and quiet "I heard a scream, not only howls of the pack." "I admit, I heard it too" Solas answered. There was no point to lie. "So why not say it?" she asked. Irritation appeared in her voice again. Solas looked at her searching for proper words. The question was simple but the answer was not. "Alright, so you are sure the pack is controlled by a demon?" Varric stretched his legs and crossed his arms behind his head looking at her with concern. "Crazy as it seems I think so, yes" she smiled at him but her gaze stayed sad and absent. "Crazy? For me, it is completely normal considering what we have seen so far" a deep laugh escaped his throat. "Inquisitor?" Falherna looked at Solas. He cleared his throat "We need to confront them," "That was my thought exactly." she murmured looking at the log Cassandra throw into the fire. They stayed silent for a while. Each caught in their own thoughts. A distant howl accompanied them through the rest of the sleepless night.

Notes:        

Mana: an imperative verb, like "Stop" or "Wait". Atisha: peace, peaceful. Da'len: "a little child," or "little one." Lenalin: father Ashalan: daughter

[supernatural-squadd]

Wash It Away

Winchester Sister Imagine

TRIGGER WARNING: Heavy depression thoughts, verbal suicidal tendencies

Requested by: @rilezra  "I'm feeling shit and desperate so i request a shitty desperate reader begging the winchesters to kill her to stop the pain she experiences on the daily with some sort of good ending that doesn't actually end with them killing her, rather them helping her?"           

A/N: For anyone experiencing any of these problems or any problems at all, this is a judgment free zone and I'm a great listener.

@rliezra: I made it a sister fic, hope that's alright!

Have a request? Want on a taglist? Feedback? Click here! Feel free at anytime (including on anon) to send requests, talk to me or ask me anything about myself or my work!

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The hopeless feeling that swelled inside of your chest expanded as your tears continued to fall fast and hard. The entire feeling consumed you, overwhelmed your mind and body in every aspect. Leaving a crumpled up girl curled up atop her bed, clenching onto her pillow so tight the fabric might break. The same comforting pillow softened the tears from falling a distance, quieted the sobs and desperate silent cries for help. Your mouth stay opened, pushing out a thick line of air as though you were screaming at this invisible inner pain that continued to destroy you eternally, however, no sound came out as the tears dripped from your swollen eyes.

You'd been like this all night, quietly allowing your mind to destroy you as there seemed to be no more of a will for anything lurking inside. Sleep was beyond impossible, unless it was permanent and everlasting. Yet somehow being a Winchester almost ensured your two brothers, or Cas, would certainly find a way to bring you back and force you to live this existence you so badly felt the need to escape.

As tears silently fell, the silent patting of footsteps got closer to your room, but they were inaudible to you over the sound of your heart crumbling into a million small pieces.

Sam knocked lightly, trying to test to see if you were awake, instead he heard a small sniffle as you turned your body to pretend as though you still slept. While he wanted to rush in and come to whatever aid you required, he knew you always responded to Dean better than himself. Dean had practically raised not only Sam, but you as well. Sam and Dean had an undeniable bond, everyone in the entire universe and every conceivable universe knew that, but when you were a child and your tiny hand curled around his finger, everyone knew this would be everlasting.

It was 5am, Sam was headed out for his jog, but now seeing he was delayed and concerned, he went to Dean's bedroom instead, not even bothering to knock. Dean was always a light sleeper, so naturally when his door opened, so did his tired green eyes with a shock. Under no circumstances was it smart to wake the beast that was a sleeping Dean, but in all honesty, the boys had been down this road with you before, they knew it was literal life or death in the past and feared for the same this time around.

"It's Y/N." Sam immediately spoke, hoping Dean would register that in his brain his sister needed him in a bad way.

These were the only words that would make it acceptable to wake up Dean Winchester at any hour. He and Sam both made haste to your room where Dean quietly put his ear to your door listening as you silently sobbed into your pillow. With ease he opened the door, peering in at your sobbing form all bundled up and tightly hugging your pillow.

He didn’t say a word, just sat down on your bed and began rubbing your back softly, trying to let you know he was there whenever you were ready. His loving brotherly touch only made your heart ache more and tears fall thicker than before. The heartbreaking sounds emitting from your broken body only crushed your brothers souls more. They wanted nothing more than to help you, but sometimes things can't be fixed with words. Words are like the glue that hold us together, hugs and physical presence is what keeps that glue from melting away or crumbling.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean's half asleep half awake groggy voice filled the room, vibrating your bones as though each sound he made echoed off of them and into your heart.

Without words you simply shook your head, rolling to your side a little to see your brothers faces. Sam in the doorway, looking afraid, and Dean who just looked like someone had stabbed him in his chest.  Just looking upon your face he could see how broken you were, how far you'd fallen off the wagon. He wasted no time forcing his arm under your shoulders, pushing himself onto the bed, motioning you to roll over and to lay in his arms while he sat up.

"Do you hear my heartbeat?" He said, brushing random strays of hair out of your face while his other arm held you tight. "Just focus on that, okay?" His voice was even more so echoing now that you lay on his chest.

Sam watched the two of you, watched how dead you looked in your eyes, how blank and unfeeling your stare was. This is what concerned him most of all. Dean gave his brother a once over nod, letting him know you would be okay with him, and reluctantly Sam left the room.

"Can I ask you a favor?" You spoke with such a hoarse and low tone from crying for so long. "I want you to kill me." The words rolled off of your tongue as though they were nothing. "I can't do it myself, I don't want to be here anymore. I can't be here anymore. I hate it."

Dean sat you up instantly, his face forged with confusion, sadness and anger all in one, but mainly anger.

"How are you even asking me this right now?" He roughly said, this time speaking a little louder than he was before. Completely ignoring the fact you squinted your eyes in pain at the raising of his voice, indicating you had a bad migraine.

"I'm tired of fighting, I just-"

"You just what?" He cut you off in total, his voice still loud with mixed emotions. "You just plan on giving up? Leaving Sammy? Leaving me?" There was a sense of more hurt in his words near the last, how dare you even think about leaving him. He who had given up majority of his life to keep you safe and alive, loosing the fight so easily and to yourself no less.

"Please stop yelling.' Your hand reached up and connected with your throbbing temple.

"This is serious, this isn't some joke, this is your life." His voice began to lower slightly, after he took a deep breath it went back to a normal tone. "You're life may now have value to yourself right now, but it'll always have value to me. So even when you stop fighting for yourself, I'll be there still, fighting for you. Do you know why?" Dean waited until your eyes shifted and painfully met his. "Because dammit you are worth fighting for."

It took a moment for you to find words, find a self will even if it wasn't that strong. Still you sat up in front of him, hair a mess, eyes puffy with pain, hands weak from the loss of so much emotion, but still you knew he was right.

"I swear I'm trying." You half scoffed out with only air. "I just can't breathe anymore, every second I'm alive I feel like I'm drowning. Physically, I have the world: You, Cas and Sammy. Mentally? I have nobody."

"Let me help you breathe, let me help clear the air somehow. I'm sure as hell not going anywhere, and neither are you." Dean's hand found a fitting over the top of yours while he looked for some form of understanding in your eyes. "Promise me that when you can't fight for yourself, you'll at least let me continue to fight for you. That you won't give up on me even when you've given up on yourself."

Once you nodded, silently whispering that you promised and allowing Dean to kiss your temple and pull you back into his chest.

Only was it hours later did Sam come check on the two of you, finding you with a peaceful face now dry from tears and one big brother who held onto you both physically and mentally, refusing to let you go.

[writingwitchly]

Together

I would love something about a hufflepuff and slytherin friendship. Maybe it's like a quick flashback to things that happened in the book and what everyone else was doing to help? I just love the slutherpuff vibe so anything about that is cool. Thanks so much! ~ @lillianhappy / for @fanficnet

Word count: 3,1k

Warning: war / light injuries / light swearing

A/N: Wow. My first non-pairing fic, and it felt so good to write. I sticked to the Slytherpuff vibe, but had to make it a lil more dramatic. I shamelessly cried at the end, silly me. Please enjoy and don’t hesitate in sending some feedback!

***

Prologue:

The night was dark.

Harry Potter had just warned the school of the imminent attack. People were worried. And scared.

Some of them were aware of what was happening, others hadn’t been reached by the news yet.

Some wanted to leave, others needed to stay.

Some faked to be brave, others couldn’t hold back tears.

Some were injured, others were fighting with themselves.

Amidst the confused crowd, some were Slytherins, others were Hufflepuffs.

***

“Does Mr. Will desire something else?”

The elf’s croaky voice was barely audible in the tumult of pots and pans, but Will shook his head in denial. He’d got more than he needed.

“No, thank you very much,” he sleepily said, eyeing with an expert’s eyes the fruits and chocolate cake he would bring to his sick friend. “That’ll be enough.”

The creature bowing was a blurry figure through the narrow space that the first year’s eyelids left him to see. This late trip to the kitchen was not a good idea, especially because of the night patrols that frightened him so much, but he’d do anything to help his fellow Hufflepuffs. He made his way back to the exit, trying to not trip over his own feet in the way.

As he emerged into the hallway, a thunder of steps coming from the end of the corridor forced him to an unsteady halt. It was not long before he found himself engulfed in a sea of black hats and green ties, shoved left and right and not even glanced at.

Several dark robes and night outfits bolted in front of his eyes, now wide with shock and surprise, before somebody finally stopped in front of him, sheltering him from more harm. He had to incline his head a great deal of degrees backward to spot a face with dark freckles looking down at him.

“What are you doing here?” a voice snapped. Then, when its owner’s gaze fell on the plate Will succeeded to sustain only by miracle, the voice replied to its own question, “Of course, Hufflepuffs and their bottomless stomach.”

Will’s brain lasted a few seconds to process the girl’s words, while her housemates kept running away.

“It’s not for me,” he retorted, though not as sharply as he wished. “My friend is sick and this is for he-”

The Slytherin rolled her eyes. The corridor was now silent with the kind of heavy atmosphere that precedes a storm.

“I don’t care, anyway,” she blurted. Slughorn’s panicked words still trotted in the back of her mind, and the Headmaster’s absence couldn’t mean anything good. She had to get out of here, as fast as she could, but she couldn’t leave the kid wandering alone. She was a Prefect after all. “Come with me.”

To these words, the little boy stumbled back, refusing to follow her.

“You need to come with me,” she hissed.

“No!” he shouted, retreating a bit more, until he hit the cold surface of a niche in the wall.

What was I thinking? She bit her tongue, ready to catch up on the rest of her group. I can’t play the hero like that, that’s for stupid, gutsy Gryffindors.

But something held her back. The Hufflepuff’s round face resembled so much that of her ten-years-old brother, with chubby cheeks and a confused look, and so did his expression of fear.

He doesn’t know what’s happening, chanted a voice in the back of her mind.

Besides, what would this boy find behind his Common Room door? Just empty space to look at. Professor Slughorn stated that all houses were to head to the Great Hall.

Internally swearing, she brusquely swung round and grabbed his arm in an impulse, trying to get him out of the alcove where he was half-hiding, which only resulted in the plate hitting the ground with a loud shattering noise as Will freed himself.

“What’s the matter with you?” she asked, her question coming out as a frustrated shout.

Whatever was happening may be getting to them right then, and she shivered at the thought of another creature such as the Basilisk haunting the castle.

“You’re mean,” Will answered, his eyes sparkling with tears.

“What?” Her face was now dilated in a genuine mask of surprise.

“The fifth years,” he sniffed, “They told me not to trust Slytherins.”

For an instant, she stood there, gaping at the child, while he rubbed the point of his nose.

“I thought that only stupid Gryffindors joked about this,” she whispered.

Her heart made a strange bump, the same it made when her favorite dessert failed to show up on the tables, or when somebody mocked her for her size. Without wanting it, she realized that she cared, she was a bit deceived by the Hufflepuffs’ behavior.

A loud clattering, like of a thousand of spades hitting the ground, made them both jump, and Will let out a squeak of horror.

Suppressing her own fear, the teenager crouched, so her eyes were on the same level as the kid’s.

“What’s your name?” she asked in the friendliest tone that her building pressure allowed her to use.

“Will,” he sobbed.

A metallic bang coming from the floor above theirs announced the closing of the Great Hall’s door. Cold sweat was running down the neck of the Slytherin.

“Listen, Will. I’m Emilie. I bet you everything you want that things are getting pretty ugly up there, and we better find some other people to tell us what to do.” She let that sink in, then added, “I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want you to get out of here safe and sound. Do you trust me?”

Her last words were followed by her hand reaching out.

Will first winced. But then, his watery eyes narrowed as he looked down at this huge, brown palm, twice as big as his. Finally, his fingers found their way around it.

“Yes,” he breathed.

Emilie straightened.

“Then let’s get the hell out of here, come on.”

***

“Amanda!”

What that abyssal idiot of Pansy Parkinson was thinking back in the Great Hall when she opened that big mouth of hers, Jason didn’t care anymore. But still, if only she had shut her trap, Slytherins wouldn’t have been the first to get to the passage.

“Amanda! Where are you?”

His cry was only one more in the confused mess of people waiting by the door of the Room of Requirements, so no wonder nobody seemed to react to it more than to the others.

With nervous fingers, he got his tie off his neck. It didn’t matter to him if the yellow piece of fabric ended up forgotten in the dust, trampled by the multitude of present people. He didn’t need to feel more suffocated.

“Amanda!”

A blond head jerked in his direction, but its corresponding face was far from being Amanda’s.

“Stop shouting, Jason, she probably doesn’t want to hear about you anymore.”

Blue eyes defied green ones.

“Shut up, Zacharias. I just want to make sure she gets through that goddamn passage before they close it.”

Green eyes were now almost out of their orbit. “They’re going to close it?”

Jason tsked. “No, you idiot, it’ll stay open so the Death Eaters won’t even have to break the wa-”

But Zacharias was already elbowing away anybody who dared to stand between him and the door, far from the reach of Jason’s voice.

“Coward,” the remaining Hufflepuff muttered, but his voice raised as he spotted a well-known mane of blonde hair, “Amanda!”

This time, it’s the correct glance that finds his, and the two teenagers collide in a hug.

“I was so worried,” said the young man, a hand caressing the girl’s hair.

“For yourself, I hope,” she smiled, pulling away.

He weakly grinned back. Slytherins have such a many to stay proud beyond possibilities, he sometimes laughed about it.

“Stay in the file,” he urged her.

For the first time in her life, Amanda obeyed him.

“But stay with me,” she murmured, intertwining their fingers. “We’ll leave together.”

Her eyes tore from his, and instead stared unseeingly at the front of the line of students. This meant the conversation was over.

A knot tied Jason’s throat. How would he tell her?

She was only fifteen, but he was already overage. He wasn’t going to leave without raising his wand in honor of Cedric’s memory.

While the boy fought with his own thoughts, another blow quaked the castle, making small columns of dust fall, like dull fairy powder, from the roof. Without thinking about it, he attracted the girl closer to him.

Soon, too soon, it was time to cross the exit.

“Listen, I-”

Amanda squeezed his hand tightly. “Take care, please. And don’t forget to properly raise your wand.”

There was a smile on her lips that didn’t reach her eyes, which she blinked furiously.

“How’d you-”

“Mom sometimes says I should’ve been sorted into Ravenclaw. But I’m fine being a Slytherin.” She shrugged. “And you’re a Hufflepuff, loyal until and after death.”

She exaggeratedly grimaced, but Jason knew it was her way to cope with the separation.

Her fingers parted from his, and she brought them under her messy hair.

“Here,” she said, as she handed him her necklace, “To keep your clumsy ass from getting into more trouble.”

He took her gift, feeling his heart swell. “Love you, lil sis.”

“See you soon, big bro.”

Jason was afraid, but he’d fight for a better world. For her.

He would not forget, for the rest of his life, her look as she stepped into the darkness leading to safety.

***

Professor McGonagall had said not to get back for their properties, but for her it was easy to say. She hadn’t left her ring, the only heirloom she owned from her deceased mother, in her dormitory.

Salma was running up the steps two by two now, the little metallic circle safely stuck around her finger, hoping to remember where the Prefects had said they would take everybody.

She was covered in dirt, and had already been forced twice to turn back on her steps, by explosions that missed her for scarce, lucky inches. Her ears were filled with tearing cries, stamping footsteps, and echoing crashes, and the pounding of blood rushing to her head melted with that of her bare feet on the uneven ground.

The world was crumbling around her.

The corridor that she believed was the right one finally came into sight, but in her excitement she tripped over the last stair, and landed on the carpeted ground with a muffled thump.

She tried to raise but, to the slightest movement, a snake of fire and ice ran up the inside of her right leg, coiling itself around her bone from under her calf up to the knee.

Crap, she thought, beads of helplessness cascading from her eyes, she must have twisted her ankle.

Again, a tremendous blast caused the ground to shake, and she could hear victorious yelling coming from the outside, vibrating in her head as if the invasion happened between her temples.

She started calling for help, but who would come to rescue her in the dark hole where she had landed herself? She crossed her forearms, to have a place where to let her forehead rest and cry.

However, as desperation was taking over her, a thread of hope came from far to the left. It was someone, she believed, calling back.

Salma ordered her heart to stop beating so furiously, so she could listen harder and decide whether she was making herself illusions.

But no.

“Is anyone here?”

“Hey! We’re here to help!”

Never, in her thirteen-years-old life, had anything sounded so beautiful to her as these voices did.

“Here!” she yelled, adrenaline giving her the power to do so.

Soon, feet were scurrying toward her, and her body was lifted from its uncomfortable position.

“Are you okay?” asked one of her saviors.

Passed the few seconds of relief, Salma’s nerves activated themselves to remind her that the pain was still there, searing through her lower body. All she could do was hum a no in response, taking in the familiar features of the Hufflepuff twin girls she had several times insulted, smirking with her friends, for being Mudbloods.

She had been so mean to them, how come they were helping her now?

“I’m sorry,” she breathed, “So, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she heard before drifting into unconsciousness.

“We’ll take you to a safe place.”

***

“There, Longbottom!”

Professor Sprout had always been a pacific woman.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

But when it came to defend her school, her students, and what she believed in, she reasoned like her Gryffindor colleague: she dueled to kill.

“Where is Habbot?”

The blonde girl tapped her shoulder, making her start. She was mouthing silent words.

“I don’t hear you!” shouted the teacher. In fact, she didn’t hear anything at all. Had the Battle stopped? Impossible, shots of light were fired haphazardly from the ground to the castle and back. “Confringo!”

Her attention came back to Hannah’s worried features and waving hands. She had always thought of the girl as of a delicate begonia, but she was now fighting harder than a Devil’s Snare, just like the Longbottom kid. She was very proud of these two.

“What are y-” But she finally understood the girl’s gesturing, and with a firm hand removed the protective cask from her ears.

The loud chaos hit her.

“Neville and I are going back for more Mandrakes, Professor!” shouted her student, her voice hoarse.

A cavernous grunt resonated higher than the now habitual discord.

“Take the others with you, there is not much more they can do here!”

“What about you?”

Professor Sprout turned her back on Hannah without answering, afraid that her response would come out quivering. After a short while, and despite the explosions and roars, she heard a dozen of shoes hammering the ground toward the opposite direction.

“Oppugno! Incarcerous!” Her voice was high and determined. If she had to die, she would do it fighting at her best.

“Protego!”

A dazzling blue light came from behind her back, diverting the course of a red attack. She turned around and her eyes met a panting mass.

“Horace! What are you doing up here?”

The man had slumped to the floor, exhausted.

Professor Sprout scanned him suspiciously for a split-second: if he thought he would find a secure space to rest on the tower, he was very much mistaken.

“C- Came across- Your students,” he puffed. “Said you were- alone.”

He was already raising when a blast on the walls sent him back to the floor. The woman hurried to help him to his feet.

“You can’t stay alone, Pomona. Come back inside.”

Slughorn’s gaze was hidden behind a veil of worry, his pupils stretched in fear.

“No.”

Her answer was rotund. This was the place they had assigned her to defend, her part of the castle to protect. It was under her responsibility. If she had chivied the children away, it was because she knew it was too dangerous for them to stay now.

Slughorn swallowed painfully.

“Then I shall stay with you, my friend.”

In a common, silent accord, both professors turned to face the courtyard, wands raised.

***

“You can’t stay here!”

“Don’t tell me what I can d-”

The wall behind the two quarreling teenagers exploded, sending them flying through the air, and spraying them with pieces of glass and concrete.

The girl reacted first, covering her head with both arms, and the boy followed her actions. They were several feet apart, their sallow and tan skin now white with dirt, coughing like crazy to free their respiratory system, but still arguing,

“Did you see this? It’s dangerous, Elke! You can’t stay!”

Elke opened her mouth to retort, pushing her body up with her elbows, but was forced to lay down again, a new choking crisis getting to her lungs. “You’re an idiot, Nat! If it’s dangerous for me, it is for you too!”

Another shot ripped the night above their heads, a lugubrious firework followed by cries of shock.

Elke and Nat raised hurriedly, hiding themselves behind a corner to have the time to evaluate and mend their injuries.

“It’s not the same thing,” rasped her friend, while examining the cuts on her forehead.

“You’re so stubborn,” she replied bitterly, ripping a sleeve from her robes to wrap it around Nat’s new wound. “No wonder you were sorted into Slytherin.”

The boy spluttered.

She was still resentful, after seven years, that they had been sorted into different Houses? It was not his fault!

“Hey.” He pushed her chin upward with his index. “But we managed to stay best friends, didn’t we?”

Yeah, they did.

“That’s why I need to battle too. To cover your back.”

Nat didn’t know if this was more fidelity or obstinacy.

“I told you, you can’t stay! You’re-”

“I am what?” she yelled. “A girl? A Hufflepuff? That’s why I can’t fight?”

The young man bit his lip. How far from the truth she was.

You’re my best friend, he wanted to shout back. I can’t manage to lose you!

But instead, his mouth articulated, “Yes, you’re a bloody Hufflepuff, and all your loyalty is going to do is get you into troubl-”

“Can you stop and observe the world for a minute?” The girl’s hands grasped her friend’s collar. “Don’t you see that everybody is being brave? Loyal? Resourceful? Witty? It’s not about houses anymore, here. We’re all in the same boat!”

The time seemed to slow down. None of them produced a sound as they listened hard to their surroundings.

Slytherins, that had come back with Nat, were encouraging Gryffindors, dueling with them instead of against them. They also followed Hufflepuffs, who had found their way through a passageway that had conducted them to the side of the enemy’s army, which was now retreating a bit under the surprise attack. Ravenclaws and students from the red House helped injured combatant getting to safety, where girls with green ties would pop flasks of potion open. There weren’t even much ties left, Nat observed, around the neck of their owners. They were decorating the walls, the courtyard, the hallways, thrown pell mell like forgotten confetti. All the students, he realized, now harbored their injuries like proud flags.

Hogwarts was being defended not by Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors, but by people who wore the same colors: the colors of determination and caring. The colors of justice and freedom.

His eyes came back to face Elke.

“You’ll cover my back?”

“Until my last breath.”

“Then let’s do this. Together?”

Grabbing hands, they stepped out under the starry night.

“Together.”

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Time’s Running Out: Mike

An update that's not at ass-o'clock at night? Must be fall break for me! Hope you guys enjoy, and thank so you so much for all the wonderful feedback and support.

Summary: The Reds and Blues; and their respective Freelancers, find themselves stranded on a strange planet named Chorus. Secrets, lies, and the unexpected seem to lie around every corner, and there might be even larger threats looming over the horizon.

They’re possibly even less ready for Chorus than Chorus is for them.

Pairings: Lots of friendships, Suckington, Yorkalina, Chex, eventual Yorkimbalina, possible others.

Start

Previous

Ao3

They lost touch with Armonia about ten miles out of the city.

Kai didn’t like it; the army was heading in the opposite direction from them. She couldn’t contact Wash and he couldn’t contact them.

Last time they’d been out of contact, she hadn’t seen Tucker for months, and he’d been alone with Felix, who could have been hurting him at any time. And now Wash is going off too fight and he’s not going to have them to watch after him and—

Tucker squeezed her hand.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said.

Kai took a deep breath and looked around, examining the temple they’d found themselves in.

The architecture was alien in every sense of the word. Kai’d say it was more phallic than yonic, but the portal thingy kind of looked like it’s got petals, so she’d give the aliens a few points for gender equality. The alien crystals glowed a soft greenish color that kept everything bright.

“Oh, this is wonderful!” Grey said, beaming widely. “I always wanted to visit this temple when I was younger, but I’m afraid my research led me elsewhere! I can’t wait to see what we have!”

“Tucker,” Church said, looking up from the panel he’d been examining. “Take out your sword.”

“I thought you wanted me to stop whipping it out so much—bow-chicka-bow-wow,” Tucker said.

“Heyyo!” Kai crowed, holding up her hand for him to high-five.

“Shut up, both of you,” Church said. Well someone was in a bad mood. He’d gone all quiet and sulky after they’d left Armonia, and he’d only been quieter since they’d lost contact with the others.

Kai guessed she could sympathize with that. He was worried about the others too. Particularly his Freelancer.

Caboose was hovering near Church, like he usually did the second Epsilon was gone. He’d been even more clingy since they’d been separated by the armies. But Church, for once, didn’t seem to mind. He hadn’t even told Caboose that he was stupid, or to go away. Instead, he’d let Caboose fiddle with the wires of the console while he worked, the two of them working in relative silence while the rest of them had explored. Maybe Church had missed Caboose too.

Tucker flicked his wrist, not realizing that Kai was in the middle of a deep personal monologue, and the sword burst into life, the blade appearing.

“Hot,” Kai sighed loudly. Tucker’s alien sword wasn’t as good as his normal one, but she could still appreciate the finer things in life. Like one of her men holding a large, glowing thing that he liked to stick into people.

“Kai!” Grif and Church yelled in unison. She grinned beneath her helmet, unrepentant. It wasn’t her fault that they made it so easy.

Tucker, Donut, and Grey laughed at least. And Caboose gave that little not-laugh that he did when he didn’t want to be left out of the joke.

“I don’t get it,” she heard him quietly mutter to Church.

“Don’t worry about it Caboose,” Church said, before suddenly spinning around. “Holy shit.”

The lighting in the temple all suddenly became dark red. She barely had time to even listen to Sarge’s cry of triumph before the portal flared, becoming menacingly larger.

“Oh my!” Grey said, clapping her hands. “Well, that makes the translation sooooo much easier!”

“Damn it,” Church said, kicking the panel he’d been working on. “That was supposed to have worked! The key was supposed to have overridden any other requirements!”

“Oh, don’t be such a bore,” Grey said, clearly giddy. “The test is clear. We need a true warrior!”

Sarge hmphed, squinting at her. “Say what now, little lady?”

“A true warrior! Of physical strength and mental clarity,” Grey nodded. She seemed pretty pleased with the whole situation.

“Well it's a good thing I’m here!” Tucker said, flourishing his sword again.

“Woo! Go get them babe!”

“We’re all going to die,” Simmons muttered.

“So… what?” Grif says. “If Tucker is the true warrior—and let me just say, I’m pretty damn skeptical here—what’s he supposed to do? Stand on his head? Fuck another alien?”

“The portal is a gateway,” Grey said, in that voice she got whenever she’d found Kai and Donut in the medical lube. “So, Tucker just needs to jump into the portal, and we’ll have answers!”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem! Tucker’s great at entering! And I’m sure he’ll be quick!”

“Thanks Donut,” Tucker muttered. But he shook himself out of it quickly enough, and charged forward, entering the portal with a running leap.

There was a single moment as Kai prepared herself for a long wait and a little worrying, but then there was a flash of light, and Tucker was thrown right back out.

“Whoa! What happened?”

“I told you it’d be over quickly!”

“You failed the test, dumbass,” Simmons said.

“Or maybe he's so good he passed the test super fast,” Caboose said.

“You see?”

“Donut!”

Kai reached out and grabbed Tucker’s helmet in her hands. He seemed to be shaking. Through the tinted visor, Kai thought she saw tears.  

“What did you see?” Grey bustled up to them, taking Tucker’s wrist as if intending to check his pulse. “Tell me about the other side. Did you make contact? Oh! And how are you feeling?”

Tucker swallowed and pressed his visor against Kai’s. “I saw Felix.”

“They’re here?” Kai reached down and took Tucker’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “How?”

“Well, I don’t think it was really him,” Tucker admitted. “He showed up, then another Felix showed up. And the next thing I know there were a million fucking assholes all over me. Same thing with Locus, I couldn’t fight them off!”

“You weren’t strong enough,” Grey said thoughtfully.

“Fuck you!” Kai said, bristling on Tucker’s behalf. “Tucker’s got great game!”

“No,” Tucker said quietly. “She’s right.”

“Screw that!” Kai said, pulling away from him. “I’m going in there to give that thing a piece of my mind!”

“Wait, Kai!” She wasn’t sure who said it, but she didn’t particularly care either.

Kai jumped in to the portal, and the world went dark.

It was dark.

And quiet.

No one else was there.

She called and called and called but no one answered.

She was alone.

For a very long time.

Kai stumbled out of the portal, breathing heavily. She was crying. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been crying for. Already she felt exhausted, as if she’d been sobbing for hours and hours, leaving that familiar hollow, tired feeling.  

“Kai!” Dex was there, looking all worried, and before anything else could happen Kai hugged him tightly. He was there. They were all there. They weren’t gone. Everyone was still here, and she wasn’t alone, and it was all okay.

She buried her face in Dex’s shoulder as best she could when they were both in armor, and tried to stop the tears.

“Are you okay?” Tucker was there, putting a hand on her back. All Kai wanted to do was to rip off his armor and kiss him senseless, but… then he’d see her face and know she’d been crying. And she didn’t want that.

“Pssh. Duh,” she said as strongly as she could, and if Tucker heard her runny nose in her voice, he didn’t say anything.

“So… who’s next?” Grey asked cheerfully. Kai wasn’t sure if she was being rude or polite, but Kai decided not to care, because Dex was still hugging her and that was what really mattered.

“Me!” Sarge said, sounding gleeful. “We’ve let the blues have two shots at the glory! Now it’s time to prove that the truest of warriors are always the ones who wear the blood of their enemies on their armor!” He turned to Grey. “I mean Red Team,” he added.

“Wait, do you hear that?” Simmons said, looking up.

Kai paused, listening. “There’s only two things in the universe that make that noise! The Sanghilli Clit Massager 2000XXX or a Mongoose!”

“Wait, what?”

The Mongoose pulled into sight, and Kai grinned as she realized Carolina was on it. One armored badass to save the day, as ordered. It wasn’t Wash, but Carolina was pretty awesome.

“Carolina!” Tucker said, moving towards her. “Is Wash okay?”

“He’s fine,” Carolina said. She sounded almost out of breath. Or… mad. Kind of like when they’d first met her.  

“Yeah, if you mean trapped in Armonia fully surrounded by the bad guys!” Epsilon appeared over Carolina’s shoulder, arms crossed.

“What?”

“It was a trap,” Carolina’s voice was short. “We need to regroup. With most of the forces trapped, it’s going to be up to us to take guerilla action to try to help break the siege.”

“A siege?” Dex yelled, throwing his hands up into the air. “What fucking century is this?”

“We need to figure out this portal, and then we’ll be on the way,” Simmons said. “We need answers!”

Carolina sighed. “What are we looking for?”

“Oh you know, nothing much, just a true warrior,” Caboose said.

Carolina tilted her head. “Is that all?”

“Say!” Sarge said. “Why don’t you give it a go! You’re a red!”

Carolina let out a soft laugh. Something seemed to release in her shoulders as she looked at Sarge and nodded once. “I guess I am.”

“Aha! I knew you’d come! Mostly around York, but—”

“Donut,” Carolina said warningly.

“They’re still at the awkward sexual tension stage, Donut!” Kai said to him. “All the orgasms she’s getting are motor assisted!”

“Would you two stop it?”

“Let them finish!” Tucker called. “Bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

Carolina let out the kind of long-suffering sigh that Wash had mastered so long ago, and turned to Grey. “What do I need to do?”

“Just jump in the portal, face your own worst nightmares. You know. That sort of thing,” Tucker said.

“You already tried?” Epsilon asked.

“We thought that merely carrying the sword through the portal would override the need to be strong and intelligent,” Grey said.

“Hey!”

Carolina let out that soft little amused noise that Kai didn’t get to hear her make nearly often enough. “Well then. Guess it’s my turn.”

She jumped into the portal.

She returned moments later, subdued and quiet. The happy tilt to her helmet that she’d picked up after saying she was a red was gone.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said the minute Grey tried to ask her a question.

“Fair,” Tucker and Kai said in unison.

“Alright then,” Sarge said. “Well, let’s give this thing another go—”

“MY TURN,” Caboose howled gleefully, throwing himself forward.

“Caboose!”

Caboose was gone a whole five minutes before suddenly the temple’s lights switched to the color of Tucker’s sword, and he reappeared. “Aaaaaand we’re back!” Caboose declared. Kai got the impression that he had his widest, dorkiest grin on his face.

“Caboose!” Carolina said.

“Are you okay?” Grey rushed up to him, concerned as always.

“What happened?” Epsilon and Church had done their weird thing when they spoke in unison with each other. Immediately Church’s concern evaporated, and he stepped as far away from Carolina and Epsilon as he could manage.

“Ah, well ah yeah!” Caboose was practically bouncing with all the attention. “I went to the bathroom and then I met an alien and we became friends and he told me everything about the universe and the meaning of life and then—”

“Wait! An alien?” Tucker said, straightening up.

That was, of course, when the giant glowing alien appeared.

“Greetings,” the alien said.

“Holy shitballs!” Kai shrieked.

“Sweet mother of Pecos Bill!”

“What the fuck?”

“Jesus!”

“Whoa.”

“Caboose. What. The. Fuck.”

“My apologies,” the alien said, “but is there anyone else I could speak to? Perhaps someone with a broader vocabulary?”

“An alien AI,” Church whispered, staring up at the glowing red projection. “Fuck.”

Kai had never seen Church look so scared before.

When the Meta had let them know that one of the Mongoose had gone missing, it hadn’t taken too much effort to track down who had stolen it.

Agent Carolina.

Sharkface followed her at a distance, even though there was nothing more that he wanted than to attack her then and there. But he needed some patience. There was a chance she could lead him to the others. Washington and Texas would be equally welcome sights.

“So?” Felix asked.

Radios on Chorus didn’t work long range, with a few exceptions. Charon-produced exceptions. The alien technology that they had already harvested allowed the pirate forces to be able to circumvent the Tower’s block. An unhackable, untraceable way for them to keep contact, while the armies, Freelancers, and Sim Troopers were helpless.  

“They’re investigating an alien temple,” he said. “Looking for something.”

“Let them finish what they’re doing,” Thatcher ordered. Sharkface gritted his teeth, biting back insults. “They might be on to something useful. When they leave the temple, then you can make your mood.”

“Sorry,” Felix purred. “But who exactly left you in charge?”

“Hargrove did,” Thatcher snapped. “We’ve been over this, you—”

“Enough,” Siris’ voice was remarkably calm. “There’s no time for fights like this. Agent Texas destroyed the heavy artillery, and we need to focus our efforts. Our spies inside the city aren’t reporting in, either.”

“Foxtrot’s work,” Locus said. “He often worked counterintelligence.”

“Who the fuck is Foxtrot?” Sharkface said, watching as Agent Carolina returned from the portal. His finger twitched on the trigger of his gun. It would be so easy just to put a bullet in her brain here and now. To just end this.

“You know him as Agent York,” Siris said. There was a quiet danger to that man, one that made Sharkface nervous. Thatcher was a known element. Felix was unpredictable and dangerous. Locus was a professional. But Siris was… odd.

The Meta let out a growl from his place next to Sharkface.

Because Sharkface was a professional, he hadn’t killed the man yet. But he would. Agent Maine had helped kill plenty of people in that building, had killed plenty of his friends. Price said that the AI had destroyed his brain, annihilating what he’d once been.

But that didn’t make it any better.

Sharkface would kill him the second he wasn’t useful.

“Are you sure it’s just Carolina?” Felix asked. “Texas has that invisibility unit—”

“It is unlikely she would be able to have destroyed the artillery and kept pace with Agent Carolina,” Locus said. “She is in the city. With the others.”

Thatcher snarled. “Good.”

“Remember,” Felix sang. “First come first served when it comes to the Freelancers.”

“I told you,” Thatcher said. “Texas is mine.”

“Don’t see your name on her, Connecticut.”

“You little—”

“Enough,” Locus growled. “You are acting like children. We are professionals. Act like it.”

Suddenly, the Meta gave out a warning growl.

“We’ll have to call you back,” Sharkface said. “I think things are about to get… interesting.”

Most of what they were saying wasn’t interesting. Useful, sure, but Sharkface would just share the footage with the others later.

But he got the gist.

Another alien sword.

A temple which could kill the entire world.

“You know what?” He said to the Meta. “I think that’s all we need to know. Don’t you?”

The Meta let out a growl of affirmation, and they moved into action.

Wash had never liked feeling trapped, even if it was in an entire city.

“How are you doing?” Doyle asked him, looking up from the paperwork that Wash had been helping him sort through.

“Fine, General.”

“Agent Washington, I realize that this has been ah… stressful for you, but I’m certain Agent Carolina would have contacted us if anything had been amiss.”

“General,” Wash said through gritted teeth. “Our last transmission with Carolina indicated that a power-hungry man who, the last time he and Carolina met, ripped two AI out of her spine. The last time I met him, he shot me and York. We haven’t had any word from any of the away team since before the siege began. There’s really not much you can say that will make me feel better right now.”

“Rightly so,” Doyle said, looking subdued. “Do you have Agent York’s latest report on the spies?”

“He hasn’t been writing those down,” Wash said. “He says it’s too easy to be intercepted.”

“He’s probably right about that,” Kimball said, opening the door. “We’ve had three desertions so far. He’s got them running scared.”

“Please tell me he’s been taking them alive,” Wash said. “We need answers.”

“He is,” Kimball said. “Agent Texas threw one of them off a roof, but we think he’ll survive his injuries.”

“York recruited—of course he did,” Wash said, his shoulders slumping.

“Agent York and Agent Texas are… curiously co-dependent,” Kimball said. There was a weird way she said that.

“They’re… close,” Wash said. It felt somehow inadequate to explain the situation. The sheer rage, protectiveness, fondness, and exasperation that he’d seen. “Tucker… Tucker said they were best friends.”

“Oh.” Kimball looked perplexed. “I thought…”

“Not romantic,” Wash said, shaking his head.

For a moment, Kimball seemed happy with that answer.

“What about Agent Carolina? I heard some fascinating stories from Private Donut… but I’m afraid I’m never quite certain how much to believe that man when it comes to tails of grand romance.”

Wash shrugged. “From what I understand, York and Carolina are… complicated.” There was so much tangled up there that Wash had no desire to understand. He’d seen the kiss, that first time they’d reunited. He’d been there for York mourning her, had seen the franticness of Carolina at their separation. But he hadn’t seen them restart their old routine from Freelancer. The two of them no longer operated like a unit, in sync with each other. There wasn’t the old banter, the familiar flirtations. Instead, there was a tension, heavy in the air.

It had been there since they had found out about York’s past.

Kimball paused. “Agents York and Carolina are… together?”

“Like I said,” Wash shrugged. “Complicated.”

“Right,” Kimball said, so softly that it might have been to herself. She shook her head suddenly. “Delta has assured me that if something was to happen to the away team, he would have noticed, Wash,” she added. “He says that Church’s injuries would be… noticeable.” She glanced up at him. “I’m honestly not sure what he means.”

“Church is equipped with a beacon in case of injury or death,” Wash said. “All Freelancers were but… well. The rest of us disabled them.”

“Surely the Tower of Communications would block such a beacon,” Doyle objected.

Kimball shook her head. “Delta doesn’t think so. The signal is supposed to be noticeable from halfway across the galaxy. It might not be able to leave Chorus, but it should get through here.”

“But why on earth would Private Church be equipped with such a thing? I could understand such a concern for you Freelancers, but, as much as I might like him—” Wash nearly choked on his own saliva at that statement, and mentally tried to figure out if Doyle was smarter or dumber than he had previously suspected, “—the fact remains that he is simply another simulation trooper! Why would they invest—”

“Church is an AI,” Wash said. “The original AI. The Alpha.”

Kimball let out a soft noise. “That’s why Epsilon—”

“Epsilon is the memories of Alpha. They’re… similar. But they’ve got their differences.”

“I… I see.”

“An Artificial Intelligence? Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“Because it’s none of your business,” Texas said from the doorway.

“Tex,” Wash protested weakly.

“Shut up, Washington.”

“They needed to know about the beacon!”

“Does it look like I care?”

“Agent Texas, calm down,” Kimball ordered. “Is something wrong?”

Tex paused.

“Is there a reason you’re so upset about Private Church not being human?” Doyle asked.

Tex’s spine went ramrod straight, and in that moment, Wash thought she might be about to try to kill someone.

“No,” she spat. “No reason at all.”

The door slammed behind her, and Wash couldn’t help but feel that there had just been a terrible mistake.

“A sword, huh?” Felix asked, tilting his head towards Locus.

Locus nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “We’ll meet you there.”

He cut off the call and turned to face the others.

Siris, not-Connecticut slash Thatcher slash whatever his name was, and Locus were all gathered around the table, looking over the plans for Armonia that Locus had drawn up.

“This is important,” Siris said. “I’ll stay here. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get a shot on Foxtrot.”

“Sounds good,” Felix said. Siris’ grudge against Foxy was fucking hilarious. He had a sniper’s focus, and that allowed for brilliant blindspots. Felix was all too happy to indulge it, if it meant they got a fighter like Siris on their side, after all. Way better than Sharkface or Douchebag Weird Helmet or The Meta. “Locus and I will head out. Thatcher, you’re in charge.”

“I am in charge already,” Thatcher snarled. Touchy as always. “Hargrove’s orders were clear—”

“Don’t care,” Felix said. Why Hargrove had even felt that the guy was needed was beyond him. His armor trick was useful, sure, but there wasn’t anything about the man that was worth keeping around. If it had been Felix in charge, the guy would have had a bullet in his head and been down a suit of armor years ago, long before Texas had left him with a sliced open stomach in the desert, failing on another mission. “Just… don’t fuck this up, got it? We just need our spies to trigger the reactor core, and then this key can take care of the stragglers. If we do this right, the job’s over by tomorrow morning, and we can all get paid.”

And then Hargrove would try to have them all killed to limit the number of people who knew about his dirty little secret. But Felix would worry about that later. He and Locus had plenty of blackmail on Hargrove accumulated from this war, plus a few other jobs.

Maybe he’d keep Siris alive too. For old time’s sake. With Megan and the kids out of the picture, it could be like old times again.

And it would be a challenge to try to balance Siris and Locus’ respective issues while making sure neither of them noticed what he was doing. Maybe he could even play them off each other—the possibilities were endless. Two broken soldiers from the war, clinging to the remnants of the past. Genocide had almost been too easy. There would be other jobs, bigger jobs. There was so much they could do. This job had proved that. Felix was unstoppable, especially with people like Locus and Siris listening to him.

The things that he could do when all of this was over was enough to really get the blood flowing.

Felix hummed to himself as he and Locus left the building they had been meeting in.

“Ready partner?” He said, slapping a hand on Locus’ shoulder.

Locus said nothing, but he didn’t have to.

Felix already knew that Locus would follow him anywhere he asked.

[frxggi]

[VICTON] Parasitism for the Mutual Benefit

Greetings, loved ones. It’s me, Froggi, back with some painful shit. This scenario is a continuation of Late Night Confessions, which is like, the second fic I’ve ever posted so I suggest you read that one first but be warned it’s beta as hell. Also, side note, Seungwoo is an asshole in this, don’t @ me.  P.S. Yes this was requested, but again, lost the screenshot lol. 

Genre: Angst Word count: 2,113 Warnings: Implied emotionally abusive relationship Feedback is always appreciated, thank you and goodnight

Unpredictable, is probably the best descriptor of your budding relationship with Seungwoo. What had started as a late night confession of mutual feelings had turned into a slow build of pent up emotions and hesitation. There were times where Seungwoo would sweep you off your feet and have you up in the clouds, where he’d have you completely enraptured with just one glance or one minute brushing of his hand against yours. Other times, it felt like he was a complete stranger, either ignoring you completely or treating you like an impudent child, like it inconvenienced him to even be around you. You know he’s busy; you’re busy too, what with Victon wrapping up promotions and your own group preparing for your first comeback. Still, through all the chaos, you do your best to make time for him. You often drop everything at his every beck and call, so shouldn’t it be only fair he do the same for you, the girl he’s supposed to be dating? 

That’s another thing that bothers you; his refusal to acknowledge just exactly what you are to him. He takes you out on dates, yeah. Kisses you, sure. Seungwoo does everything you think a boyfriend would do, but he won’t let you call him such. You had asked him about it, one late night about six weeks into your relationship. The two of you had snuck out of the building together, per his desire of course; he’s yet to comply to any of your requests for time together. You sat, wrapped up in his arms as he pointed out different constellations. It was one of those wonderful nights, where he’d capture your attention and make you forget about everything but him. He had made you feel like the only girl in the whole wide world, that night, only the hopeful atmosphere had shattered shortly after midnight. “You know,” you breathed, breaking away from his lips and allowing a smile to stretch across your countenance when he chased after them. “We’ve been dating for six weeks now.” “Don’t.” He warned, the softness of his hands as they soothingly stroke up and down your sides betraying the sternness of his voice. “You say that every time, Seungwoo.” You sighed, letting your hands fall meekly into your lap. “I know, baby. I just think we should take things slow. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for.” He had said, vicious words hidden behind a heart stopping smile and you knew that you should have stopped it right then and there. Seungwoo was looking at you like you were the center of the universe, though, and under a gaze so adoring you found it near impossible to fight against it. You were ready, though. You were ready from the moment he had confessed his feelings to you, six weeks prior. You were ready to gladly go to the ends of the earth for him, but you knew he wouldn’t do the same.  

Even now, a whole three months into your relationship, you would stop everything for him without a second thought, and that idea infuriates you. You know, deep down, that Seungwoo’s feelings are disingenuous, only skin deep when yours burn throughout your whole body.  

Something in you was bound to snap, and that moment comes four days later. You run into Victon boys in the company building, them on their way to practice and you on your way out from an individual meeting with one of your managers regarding the composition of a song on your upcoming album. Chan greets you just as enthusiastically as ever, and you offer a warm smile to Hanse and Subin as they tow behind Sejun, Seungsik, and Byungchan. Seungwoo, as usual, is the last to filter through the doorway, and he regards you with a kindness that should have you falling for him all over again. He seems to be receptive to your greeting, drawing you into his arms in an affectionate hug that has Chan’s jaw clenching and annoyance brewing.  

Chan, the poor soul, has not stopped thinking of you. He loved you when you first joined the company as a trainee, a fresh new face that was so full of life compared to the hardened gazes of more experienced idols. He loved you when you told him you couldn’t return his feelings after he had finally, finally worked up enough courage to confess. He most certainly loved you when you had decided to tell your respective groups about seeing Seungwoo. He loved you then, and he loves you now. Of course, the boy had distanced himself after you had started dating Victon’s leader; partly because he didn’t want to cause any tension between friends, but mainly because he couldn’t bear the thought of his dear friend sweeping the girl he’s head over heels for right from under his nose.

Presently, Seungwoo noses at your hair, breathing in your scent and reveling in it like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get to take in all of you. Your heart threatens to burst from your chest then and there, beating painfully against your ribs because while his ministrations send you up to cloud nine, you know, in the back of your mind, that it’s not real. Perhaps it’s never been real. You can only hope, as you break away to crane your head up at him and purse your lips, that something in Seungwoo has changed, made him realise just how wrongly he’s treated you. You hope that he’ll try to make it better. 

Hope is toxic, bitter and poisonous on your tongue. Hope shatters within you when the sudden shift in Seungwoo’s gaze causes his warmth to vanish in an instant. He shoves you away, muttering something about how he needs to get to practice, that you shouldn’t be here. Chan watches the interaction from the corner of his eyes with bated breath, itching to grab his leader by the shirt collar and beat some sense into him. How dare he. How dare Seungwoo disregard you like the dirt on the bottom of his shoes after breathing life into you only moments before. How dare Seungwoo have you wrapped around his finger so selfishly. How dare he.  

Tears sting at your eyes, anger mixing with the insecurities that only surface in times like these, where Seungwoo builds you up and tears you down like it’s nothing. Your lips part to call after him, but the only sound that escapes is a broken sob before you’re quickly turning away to avoid any questions from the other boys. What you don’t know is that Chan watches you, heart panging with each second that passes, all but shattering into a million pieces when you swiftly turn on your heel and dart out of the room without even bothering to excuse yourself. Chan chases after you without a second thought, and that’s where he differs from Seungwoo. Chan is a man who would do anything and everything for you. He gives and gives and gives without expecting anything in return. If you were to ask him to jump, he’d only ask how high. Chan is a man who would tear down every star in the sky and more because to him, not even the constellations that shine high overhead on the nights spent thinking about you can rival the radiance of your smile. He would jump through hoops to ensure your happiness.  

Seungwoo is a man who expects compensation. He’s a man who’s almost never willing to meet anyone halfway. In his times of need, it’s expected that you act on his every whim. It’s expected that you drop everything at the drop of a pin to please him, because to him, there are no compromises. There is no mutual benefit. To Seungwoo, it’s all or nothing. To Chan, it’s anything and everything. 

Your hand comes up to hide the quivering of your lower lip, and you keep your head hung low to avoid the stares of anyone that could be passing by. A voice, urgent and dripping with worry, calls your name. The calling out to you only spurs you on, urges you to walk faster and exit the building so you can breathe because the air inside stings at your throat, fills your lungs with acid. A hand, far gentler than any you’ve ever known, wraps around your arm.  

You turn, and your bleary eyes barely get to make out Chan’s silhouette before he’s bringing you close, locking his arms around you protectively. Caged into him, you can feel his heartbeat, calmer now that he has you in his arms, and it’s all you can do to sob into his chest. Chan draws you into the corner, away from prying eyes, where he only rocks you idly from side to side. The barely there movement coupled with the gentle caresses of his palm against your back only cause you to cry harder because Chan’s presence is a stark contrast to Seungwoo’s and it hurts  because you find solace in his soft murmurings of, “it’s okay, I’m here.” even though you know you shouldn’t.  

Minutes, perhaps maybe even hours, drawl by, with Chan holding you like you’re made of glass, a fine piece of china that requires the utmost care and delicacy. When you’ve cried away all your tears, the man finally moves away just enough to look you in the eyes. His heart shatters, and for a moment he feels like he himself might start crying, but he swallows his emotions for your sake and instead opts to gingerly wipe the tear stains from your heated cheeks. The plushness of his sweater feels like clouds against your skin, soothing the irritation left by your overflow of emotions. The smile he offers does wonders in causing your heart to skip when he finally speaks, “I saw what happened.” A broken sound leaves you, and you all but collapse into his hold.  “It’s not fair, Chan.” Is all you say, and tears threaten to spill from your puffy eyes once more so you bury your head into the warmth of his chest to stifle yourself. “I hate it. All I do is give and all he does is take without a second thought. I hate it!” Words get caught in his throat, and he takes a fair while to speak.  “I’m so sorry. He doesn’t deserve you.” Is his tender reply, accompanied by him carding his fingers reassuringly through your hair. Then, in a moment of brazen selfishness, “I wouldn’t ever treat you like this.”  “Don’t.” You spit, though there’s little bite to your words. You break away from him, making an attempt to release yourself from his grasp only to give up shortly after his grip tightens around you.  “Y/N, you know how he feels about you. You know how I feel about you. Why are you doing this to yourself?” Pleads Chan, and you can see the pain brimming his wonderfully deep eyes, and you feel your resolve breaking.  “I love him, Chan!” You counter, and he’s quick to shut it down.  “No you don’t. I know you don’t. God, Y/N, do you have any idea how hard it is for me? To watch you give everything you are to someone who doesn’t love you? I absolutely hate seeing you like this. I can’t stand seeing you cry over someone like him. When are you going to open your eyes and see that he’s not right for you?”   You can only let go of a weak noise, and a fresh stream of tears falls from your eyes and Chan is quick to wipe them away.  “Chan, please…”  “I’m sorry, Y/N. I can’t keep quiet about this anymore.”  Chan’s lithe fingers bring your down-turned head to meet his gaze, and there’s a ferocity in the earnest expression he gives you, and it makes your knees go weak and you lean further into him for support.  “I can give you everything, Y/N. You just have to let me.” Words fall from his lips like petals from a wilting flower, painfully lacerating into your skin and tugging harshly at your heartstrings as he dips his head down, millimeters away from your lips as he breathes one final plea, “Please.”  Your eyes flick up to his own hooded stare, and they flit back down to his lips in apprehension. He inches closer, driven by the way you stay rooted to the ground instead of pushing him away. He kisses you. Sparks fly. Your whole world comes crumbling down, crashing into your heart like waves against the shore. 

[lilacmoon83]

Once Upon a Snowing

AN: Snow went through the wardrobe and they arrive in Storybrooke twenty-eight years later to find that no one, including her husband, has aged. But Snow, still very attractive for her age, doesn't let that stop her and sets out to get her husband back.

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Once Upon a Snowing

Captivation

They were here. It was finally time. Twenty-eight long years spent without her husband. She had come to this world with nothing, heart brokenly leaving Charming behind to face the curse. She had been livid to find out that Charming could have come with her when she found little Pinocchio waiting for her when she came through. She wasn't angry at the little boy, of course, but at the people that were supposed to be her friends.

She understood why Geppetto had done it, wanting to protect his child, but the years without Charming had been hard and lonely.

Upon coming to this land, they found a homeless shelter where Emma was born and she had spent a few years there, as she had no documentation. Once she got the required documents, she found a job as a waitress. It was hard and for a long time, they had almost nothing.

Eventually, she managed to get a very small apartment for her and her kids. She waitressed, often taking double shifts, while Emma and August, the name they had decided on as an identity for Pinocchio, went to school.

When he was a teenager, August left to explore the world on his own. He had gone from a sweet boy to a frustrated teen. It had been very difficult for Snow, who now went by Mary Swan. His father wasn't here to blame, so his anger was taken out on Mary.

Emma was her rock though. Emma was so much like Charming that it made her both elated and ache at the same time. Emma believed and though she tried to make sure her daughter didn't see her cry, Emma knew how hard it was for her mother. And though Snow had never wanted Emma to feel the burden of responsibility, her daughter was ready to fight the Queen for what she had done to them.

She and Emma had grown even closer when August left them and when Emma, who had developed quite the knack for finding people became a bail bonds person, Mary had gladly followed her baby to live in Boston. And when her daughter got swept off her feet and then dumped just as fast by one Neal Cassidy, who she had been hired to find, Mary was there to comfort her daughter.

Emma's son was born nine months later and they loved him more than anything. Emma insisted on naming him David, after the father she knew so much about, yet had never met. Snow was so touched that it made her cry.

The years touched Snow gently, much to her thankfulness and she decided to use the available advantages in this realm, keeping her hair dyed black to hide the gray.

So when they stepped into Storybrooke on their first day and found that no one had aged in twenty-eight years, Snow was glad that time had been kind to her, especially when they stepped into Granny's Diner that morning.

"Hi...can I help you?" her best friend, who hadn't changed at all, asked. Though the attire she was wearing was nothing that Red would have ever been caught dead in.

"Three hot chocolates with cinnamon to start us, please," Emma answered for her mother, who was too stunned, as she looked around the diner, finding people she loved. But these people whom had been her friends only gave her blank stares in return.

"Mom...are you going to be okay?" Emma whispered.

"Mmm...I'll be fine, honey," she answered automatically, as her grandson looked around curiously.

"Do you see him Grams?" he asked curiously.

"I…" she started to say, as the bell chimed behind them.

"David...the usual?" Ruby asked flirtatiously.

"Sure...thanks Ruby," he replied in a voice she hadn't heard in twenty-eight years. Her knees went weak and her mouth felt like a desert, as she turned around and let her eyes soak him up.

Gods...the man hadn't changed. This David seemed a little unsure and less confident that her Charming, but it was him. Emma didn't miss the captivation on his face when he looked at her mother and it made her excited. This was him...her father, the man her mother had pined for her entire life. She could see her features in him and her obvious coloring that came from him.

"Hi...I'm David!" her son spoke up. He smiled and Snow felt her breath catch. She had seen that smile in her daughter so many times, but seeing it on him once again made her want to cry in joy.

"How about that? My name is David too. I don't think I've seen you here before," he mentioned.

"We're new in town. He's my son and I'm Emma," she said, as they shook hands and he seemed struck by the name.

"Emma...that's a beautiful name," he mentioned, as his eyes kept wandering back to Mary.

"This is my Mom, Mary," Emma prodded, trying to snap her mother out of her daze.

"Mary…" he uttered.

"It's nice to meet you David," she finally managed, as they shook hands and they both felt the spark between them.

"Yeah…I'm sorry, but have we met before?" he asked.

"It certainly feels like it," she replied, as they remained captivated by each other. Of course, that's when their moment was shattered.

"What the hell is this?" Regina snapped, as she entered the diner.

"Regina…" Mary uttered. The Mayor's eyes widened slightly, as the woman she had hoped she was rid of forever was before her again...twenty-eight years older. A smirk marred her coldly beautiful features.

"Well, well, I wondered when you'd show up," Regina said coldly, as she looked at David.

"David, I think Katherine is waiting for you," she urged. Snow watched her husband look away from the cold stare of the Mayor. Everyone cowered before her, just like she wanted. This was her happy ending, after all.

"Of course...it was nice to meet you," he said, giving her a longing look, as he left the diner. Regina laughed.

"This...this has made my day. Snow White has come to find her husband, only to find that he's twenty-eight years her junior now," Regina joked.

"Shut the hell up," Emma growled.

"Who the hell are you?" Regina snapped.

"Oh I think you know exactly who I am, Madam Mayor," Emma growled. The slight widening of Regina's irises were the only indication of her worry, as she put on a mask of indifference.

"If you think you stand a chance against me in my own town, you're delusional. As delusional as your over the hill mother is if she thinks she has a chance with David here. He's a married man," Regina goaded and Snow felt her heart break, as Regina's coffee was delivered to her promptly.

"Have a lovely day, dear," she goaded, as she left. Emma felt her own heart crack at the broken look on her mother's face.

"Hey kid, why don't you go sit at the bar and drink your hot chocolate and I'll be right back," Emma suggested. Her son nodded.

"Okay Mom...is Grams okay?" he asked with concern. She forced a smile.

"She's going to be fine," Emma said, as she led her mother outside the diner.

"Mom…" she said.

"He's married…" Mary cried.

"Yes he is, Mom. He's married to you," Emma insisted.

"Whatever farce of a marriage Regina has forced him into here means nothing compared to what he has with you," Emma implored.

"Honey…" Mary protested.

"No Mom...you've told me about him my whole life. He's not himself under the curse and I may be the Savior, but only you can get him back! Did you see the way he was looking at you? No happily married man looks at another woman like that," Emma insisted.

"It doesn't matter...he's still so young and I'm old," Mary said, as she broke down in tears. Emma pulled her into a hug.

"No...no, you listen to me, Mom. You are so beautiful...and you have been wronged in a way no one should ever be wronged. She's stole everything from you...from us. And now, we are here to take it back," Emma said passionately.

"You sound just like him," she choked back a sob.

"So you've told me and I'd really like to meet him...the real him. He's yours Mom...you need take him back," Emma insisted. Snow sniffed and wiped her tears away, drawing strength from her baby. That same strength she had once drawn from Charming.

"Dad won't care that you're older...hell, he doesn't even care as he is now. I could tell…" Emma insisted. Snow wiped her tears and Emma hugged her.

"You're right…" Snow said finally, as Emma saw the fire return to her mother's eyes.

"I'm going to get my husband back," Snow decided. Emma smiled.

"You are...he couldn't keep his eyes off you. You're still hot, Mom," Emma said, nudging her playfully. Snow smirked. And she knew all the moves that would work on her Charming, even as he was now.

"I'm going to seduce your father," Snow announced, as she hooked her arm on her daughter.

"Okaaay...not something I need hear," Emma complained.

"Regina is going down," Snow said. Emma smirked. She loved that her mother was also her best friend.

"Hell yeah she is. Oh, and I was looking in the paper. There's an empty loft for rent. Seems perfect for the three of us...eventually four," Emma said, as she handed the paper to her mother.

"Then I guess we have an apartment to rent," Snow said, as they went back inside and got their hot chocolates to go.

"Come on, kid," Emma called, as her son hopped down and took her hand.

"Mom...is Gramps gonna remember soon?" David asked.

"I hope so, kid," she replied. Snow twirled her ring on her finger.

"He will...we're going to get him back," Snow assured her grandson.

Like it? Want a sequel? Let me know!