#i think the lady said they Will regardless if i get the job or not but i rly wanted that job bc it's eventually remote

[theirony-of-choking-on-this-dick]

so i had to call my doctor

so i can get a note

so i can submit it my job

so i can use my sick time

so i can take a couple mental health days

[yaoiplug]

i applied for a job earlier today and on the website where all the jobs are they have like requirements just like if a degree is needed or if experience is needed but then the companies will also write everything in the listing. this company didn't have any mention of a degree in the listing but when i look at the website categorization or whatever it says they put that they want a UNIVERSITY graduate and like they literally dont mention what degree they need, like do they just want a graduate is that it? no matter what degree, bc on their own website where they also dont mention university or degree or anything so im rly confused

[nicksolemnlyswears]

STAY WITH US

this oneshot can be read as a standalone.

COMFORT ME, STAY WITH ME

COMFORT ME, STAY WITH ME (PT. 2 HELAENA'S TURN)

pairing: aegon targaryen x targaryen! reader x helaena targaryen

word count: ~2.7k

warnings: spoilers for s2e2 of HoTD, mentions of death of a child, mentions of blood, light cursing

a/n: so i lied, so sorry, my apologies, remember how i said i wanted this part to be smut? well it didn't happen. in the end it didn't seem right because these oneshots originated form a place of care and comfort [not horniness like usual]

that being said i am open to doing a series of small oneshots based on their relationship that are more spicy because regardless it lives rent free on my brain and i'd love to share the pervertedness they'd get up to. also i've never written a threesome and that seems like a good writing exercise.

hope you like this oneshot. it's really sweet and when i was thinking of what else to do with them it simply clicked. my only wish is for it to have the same comfort provoking feeling as the other two. while this little series was written as a way for me to feel better about these characters it makes me happy to know it served the same purpose for a lot of you guys. also this was my first time writing for HoTD and you're all so nice ;) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE.

enjoy!

Without Jaehaerys by her side, his twin sister Jaehaera must adjust to being alone. Her lifelong playmate is gone, and now she ought to find her place as an only child.

The silver-haired girl restlessly jumps through different activities, searching for the one that will entertain her long enough without company. It is difficult because each time she successfully gets distracted, she turns to catch her brother's attention, only to find he's no longer there.

Queen Helaena watches her as she stitches together a new embroidery piece for a dress. The Queen spent her days with both her children, but now that one of them is gone, she spends nearly every waking moment with her daughter. Observing. Protecting. Alert.

"The three-headed dragon shall rise once more," Helaena mumbles under her breath. The maids ignore her mumblings. The Queen's words don't make sense half the time.

A squeal of delight from her daughter prompts the needle to pierce Helaena's finger and a bead of blood forms at the pad of it. Looking up, she finds you picking up Jaehaera and kissing her chubby cheeks. The girl is enamored by her cousin and the attention you provide.

"Good morrow, 'Laena," you brightly greet her, setting down Jaehaera and sitting by her on the floor. "Have you broken fast yet?"

Helaena places a hand in yours as a greeting and nods kindly, assuring you she's been eating all her meals. At times, her appetite turns into nausea as glimpses of her dead son invade her senses, but she tries fighting through it.

She closes her eyes and thinks of anything else—primarily you. You who distract her and treat her with such care without judgment of her eccentricities. It's odd how she's caught herself multiple times seeking your approval.

As Helaena returns to her stitching, Jaehaera bounces over and falls into your arms. "I wish for my hair to be like yours."

"Allow me, Princess," Jaehaera's nursemaid intervenes. She does not wish to be seen as lazy and incapable of her job to care for the children.

The small Princess holds tightly onto you, hiding her face on your chest as she settles on your lap. "No, I want my cousin to do it. She's a Princess, and I want Princess's hair."

You giggle at her words and gesture to the nursemaid that it's alright. "Come on, sweet girl, sit," you coo, positioning her in front of you.

One of the maids hands you a hairbrush, and you begin your work. As a Princess, your hair is mostly styled by your maids, but every lady should know how to style it appropriately.

"You're such a pretty girl, Jaehaera. Did you know that?" You talk to distract her from squirming too much. She's an impatient little thing, like her father.

Jaehaera giggles sound throughout the room. She hasn't laughed like that since her brother died. It brings a sad smile to Helaena's lips.

"You're prettier," Jaehaera whispers bashfully, her cheeks a healthy hue of pink.

"Oh, I don't know about that. You're much more beautiful. Do you know why?"

Jaehaera shakes her head, causing you to hold tightly onto the intricate plaits you're weaving in her hair. You inadvertently smile at her benightedness.

"Because you look just like your mummy, and she's very beautiful, and she's a Queen," you gasp lightly, creating a tone of excitement in your voice.

Although she's kept her nose down while stitching, Helaena's cheeks burn just as brightly as her daughters. Your words continue to flatter her. You have a way with words that can make even the most ordinary of townsfolk feel special.

With a small, excited gasp, Jaehaera asks, "Will I be Queen one day?"

"There's always a possibility," you hum, pining the remaining plait into her hair. It is hard to explain the complexities of succession and legacy to a child when there is a current war debating that same subject. "All done, go over to the mirror."

"She adores you," Helaena sighs as she watches her daughter fawn over her new hairstyle.

"And I, her. She's the sweetest girl ever."

Helaena turns to look at you and sees the soft smile gracing your lips. Your eyes then catch hers, and your smile broadens. It makes her wonder what her life would be like if you were not around. How would she have dealt with her emotions?

"I must go, but can you come to my bedchambers tonight? There is a matter I must discuss with you," Helaena says timidly, casting aside her embroidery.

"As you wish, my Queen." You can't fault her for preferring to speak in the depth of the night when the castle sleeps, and there are no wandering eyes to pass judgment.

It gives Helaena whiplash when you effortlessly switch from calling her name to calling her 'my Queen.' She rather enjoys both terms, especially when you call her yours.

Helaena bids you farewell with a kiss on the cheek, blissfully unaware of its effect on you. Such displays of affection are not rare in court, but lately, their significance has changed for you, as Helaena has never been one to indulge in court etiquette when it involves physical touch.

When the sun has disappeared over the horizon, and the castle has quieted down, you make your way to the Queen's bed chambers.

You have always been inclined to stay in the shadows, where it's safe. You are a sheep amongst a den of wolves, and if you draw too much attention to yourself, danger will follow.

You have failed so far, considering you enjoy the company of the King and Queen. Grief unexpectedly brought you together and made your bond steadfast, but wherever Aegon and Helaena go, watchful gazes follow, thus making you part of the spectacle as well.

Otto and Alicent Hightower are taking the reins of this unnecessary war, but you feel safe under Aegon's and Helaena's careful watch. You believe they will protect you from any danger coming from within the castle walls, at the very least.

You're doing your mother a great disservice as you strengthen the bond of the King and Queen. The ache of losing a child will forever remain in their hearts, and waves of pain continue to crash, but that thick fog of grief that was cast upon them has slowly started to lift, thanks to you.

Pushing open the door to Helaena's bedchambers, you step into the room. It's well into the night, and the candlelight illuminates the room. You stumble over your steps when you notice Aegon and Helaena standing close together as if they were about to kiss.

"My apologies, your graces. I believed the Queen to be alone," you bow your head, red painting your cheeks. It's a gesture that originates from embarrassment rather than submissiveness.

"Do not apologize. We wished to speak to you," Aegon speaks, beckoning you deeper into the room.

He offers you a goblet of wine, which you accept gracefully to alleviate the dizzying wave of nerves you're feeling. You've never been alone with Aegon and Helaena. People have always been around, and up to a fortnight ago, they barely spoke to one another.

The ruling couple sought your counsel regarding their marriage, recognizing you as an intermediary. You offered your advice to the best of your abilities, considering you have yet to marry.

With time and encouragement, they reached out to each other for comfort. Piece by piece, they were able to speak and share the emotions that troubled them. Nonetheless, they kept you closer than ever.

You're the calm amidst the storm.

You take a drink of the sweet wine to busy yourself. Helaena and Aegon stand side by side, his hand on the small of her back as Helaena plays with her fingers. They're backlit by the fire burning by the fireplace. It casts a warm glow over their figures, making the situation seem much more intimate. You're certainly intruding.

"We wish to thank you for everything you've done for us recently," Helaena breaks the creeping silence. She's just as nervous as you are, if not more.

"Helaena and I have been thinking about how to repay you for your generosity," Aegon continues, staring intently back at you to gauge your reaction to his words. He's afraid of reading you wrong and fucking things up—like he usually does.

You instantly shake your head, "As I said before, there is no need-"

Helaena's following words cause silence to befall as you stare back at them in surprise. A sort of surprise they cannot read. "We wish to wed you," Helaena blurts nervously, her fingers twisting together.

This is not a moment to speak in riddles. Helaena is fully aware of the situation before her and wishes nothing more than for you to stay by their side, no matter the cost.

For once in her life, she hasn't felt lonely in the castle. She has an ally she can trust and confide in.

You've been the subject of Aegon and Helaena's conversations for numerous nights. At first, it was difficult to understand that they both held deep affection towards you while caring for each other. They debated for a long time about what to do about it and they agreed on one thing wholeheartedly—you only deserved the best.

Then, it came to Aegon.

He's named after Aegon' The Conqueror' Targaryen. The King took over the seven kingdoms with his sister wives by his side.

A simple Valyrian tradition would solve their dilemma while strengthening his claim to the throne. It's poetic, a part of history being re-enacted.

"Pardon?" Your voice is barely above a whisper. You stare back at them with wide eyes as they jump from Aegon to Helaena and back to Aegon.

The goblet in your hand lightly shakes along with your hand. You place it on a nearby table, afraid of spilling it. Surely, you misheard.

"Our affection grows greater day by day. More than we ever thought possible," Helaena confesses, desperately reaching for your hand.

Your gaze falls on Aegon to seek his opinion, and he nods in agreement. There is not much to say. You have proved yourself valuable to them in a way that is much too important. You serve to keep them sane and emotionally stable. A feat no one has cared to accomplish before.

You do not use Aegon as a puppet or manipulate him to achieve sinister goals on behalf of his name, much like the rest of the court does. Those people only care for power, even if they break Aegon piece by piece. They destroy him while you take the time to pick up the pieces and put him back together.

"Such drastic actions must not be taken. I merely offered you comfort when you needed it because I care for you both," you stutter, pressing a hand to your forehead. All of a sudden, the room is warm, and a layer of perspiration forms on the back of your neck.

Aegon grunts and approaches you, cupping your face in his palms, "That is precisely why we wish to do this. You have cared for us like no one has before, including ourselves. You planted yourself in our souls, and now we cannot let you go lest we go insane. If you do not feel the same, say it, but do not lie to us."

His tone is firm, yet he cannot disguise the pleading behind it. He's never wanted something as much as he wants you.

"I-" Your palms ghost over the top of his.

It is all too much. The prospect of being wed looms over your head like a threat. Otto Hightower will have no qualms about using your lack of a husband as a war strategy. It should not be his decision in the first place, but it is out of your hands as you're considered a prisoner to him.

You would be a liar if you said you did not reciprocate their feelings. They've been present for a while now, it is why comforting them comes so easily to you. Seeing them hurt only pains you.

With this new opportunity, you will no longer be used. You will not be sold to some old lord in the countryside for the gain of a few hundred men. You would be protected.

Most importantly, you will marry a man and a woman who love you. Yes, they are broken, but with you by their side, they will thrive and rise to the occasion.

Aegon's lilac eyes beg you to accept their proposal. "I feel emotions I thought impossible. They are confusing and overwhelming, but they are real," you admit.

Relief floods over Aegon, and he can't help but release a sigh of relief. He presses his forehead against yours, whispering a silent thank you to the old gods and the new.

"Will you become our wife? Our lifelong companion?" Helaena asks, coming up behind you. You feel her breath on your neck as she leans her head on your shoulder.

One word is enough to respond. One simple word will change your life. For good or bad is to be determined.

"Yes," you breathe, reaching for her hand. The smile on Aegon's lips and Helaena's giggles in your ear make it all worth it.

Aegon needed to do things right so no one could argue against your union. He contacted the Septon himself, and only a day later, after his proposal, the Valyrian ceremony took place.

He clearly instructed his guard and the Septon that they must not tell anyone, or there would be consequences.

The ceremony is quick and private amongst the gardens of the Red Keep. You wear the traditional red and gold robes and headpieces that match Aegon's.

A red dragon decorates the front of your garb, matching Helaena's golden one on her dress. She stands to the side with a faint smile, Jaehaera clinging to her dress.

Aegon carefully cuts your lip with the dragon glass. As blood surges to the surface, he presses his thumb to the cut and later spreads it across your skin. You repeat the same on his lips, staring apologetically back at him, yet the burning pain does not compare to the pain he's felt before. It's almost pleasurable as he takes in the symbolism of the gesture.

Cutting your palms, you let the blood that will bind you together for eternity fall onto the goblet. You lock eyes with Aegon as you take a drink from it, passing it to him a moment later.

He was not raised surrounded by Targaryen customs, but he has a new deep appreciation for them. The ceremony is deeply intimate as they share the blood that will mark them as one.

With a couple of final words, the Septon concludes the ceremony and with the knowledge that you are entirely theirs, Aegon crashes his lips against yours.

Aegon stayed firm in his words. He did not wish to sully your name, so he waited until the moment was right. The reward is much too sweet.

It is the first time you've shared a kiss with Aegon, and it is unlike anything you've felt before. In the past, you've snuck kisses in dark corners of the Red Keep, but none have ever kissed you with the intensity Aegon has to offer.

Helaena approaches your tangled embrace, and as you resurface for a breath, she presses her much more delicate lips on yours. The kiss is so different yet the same simultaneously. The intent behind it is identical while the pace is slower and sultrier.

Yours and Aegon’s blood coats her lips and it’s as if she also partook on the ceremony. Your heart beats intensely inside your chest but you’re happy.

Finally, you three are bonded, destined to stay together for eternity.

Jaehaerys will forever be missed. His life has become a mystery; Aegon and Helaena will never see it fulfilled. But in this tragedy, the gods were kind to Aegon and Helaena and provided a new person to love, cherish, and join their family.

were you expecting a good old throuple situation? eh, eh (pretend i'm wiggling my eyebrows and nudging your side with my elbow). im just saying she's perfect for their little dysfunctional family and the drama it will create with the Hightowers and Targaryens? immaculate.

if you enjoyed this oneshot please don’t forget to like or comment (i accept keyboard smashes, emojis, words of encouragement, praise, virtual hugs and gushing about hel and aegon) and if you want more of it feel free to let me know!

[misguidedasgardian]

The Hour of the Wolf (4)

IV. It is you

MASTERLIST

Summary: Pressures makes wind, earthquakes, and marriages

Pairing: Cregan Stark x Targaryen!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, war, death, mentions of killings, genocide and war, threats,arranged marriage, SPOILERS for ASOIAF, and Fire & Blood, also, might spoil House of the Dragon, 

+18, MINORS DNI

Wordcount: 3.8 k 

Notes: I don;t think this is going to be a love story, this is about politics, and a truly arranged marriage, their relationship will develop of course, but I just wanted to get that out there

“You have done a great job with her”, Cregan raised his eyes to encounter the mythical Jeyne Arryn, cousin to the late Queen Aemma, keeper of the East, Lady of the Eyrie, they both contemplated you as you sat the Iron Throne and gave audiences

“I have done nothing, it’s all her”, he said severely

“You are good with her, for her”, she said then, looking at him with her piercing blue eyes

“I know what you are implying…”

“She needs a husband”, she said

“You should stay here in court, as her hand when I leave”, he said almost at the same time

“You can’t leave her”

“I have to, I have a child…”

“She needs you, the realm needs you”

“The North needs me, she will be fine”

“You know that is not true, she is still too young to differ allies from foes”

“She will learn”

“At the cost of the realms”, Cregan Stark looked at her severely, but he had met her equal, this woman was not going to back down

“What about my son? What about my people? How is that going to work?”, he asked then

“You can come and go”

“A year at a time”

“Maybe”, she said. The small council had been relentless, just as Jeyne was being 

His name was in that alliance

He pledged to take you to wife, you, in name, regardless of who you had become… you were his betrothed. And it’s not like he gave his word lightly, only, like he said, he need a wife and a lady of Winterfell, he did not want to become the King consort of the Seven Kingdoms, he did not want to take care of you… forever…

But he had taken the capital for you

Yes he promised your mother…

But he had done it for you, an unknown princess, on his mind

He found himself looking straight at you

Like the first time he saw you, he thought, again, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Since he took the capital, color had returned to your face, you no longer had darkness under your eyes, your cheeks were fuller, you also filled your dresses more, meaning you were eating more, sleeping longer…

You were better

His eyes then trailed over all the faces of the Lords gathered there in the throne room, lickspittles, asskissers, many of them, without honor, just hunger for power and gold

Did he really care for what happens to the people of the other six Kingdoms? Were you really in danger? Kings had been surrounded by traitors all their lives and nothing major had happened…

Well… until Otto fucking Hightower

No, he couldn’t let that happen again

He thought he only wanted to bring justice to the traitors, but it wasn’t true, he cared about what happened

He cared about what happens to you…

The realization made him shift on his feet

He cared about you 

He did not want you to get married to someone who was going to please the small council and take your place eventually, who was going to manipulate you or worse

He didn’t want you married to someone who…

No… he just didn’t want you married to anyone else… that’s it

The bare thought made him shiver

You felt yourself being watched intensely, and found Cregan Stark’s eyes

You felt your cheeks heated, as you looked away like a little girl who had been caught doing something silly 

You were only a young woman, barely turned eight and ten name days

And Cregan was only a young man who had the power of the biggest country in the seven kingdoms and wanted to use it to avenge his Queen

He was himself impulsive, reckless even, maybe the rest saw him like the greatest choice, but he knew the truth

He wasn’t

What if he tipped you off a ledge? What if he sets you off resulting in the destruction of cities and the annihilation of thousands?

And yet…. He was the only one you trusted

Months on the road, maybe years away from you, years away from his home, his child… There must always be a Stark in Winterfell

But when he leaves you to be in Winterfell, he was going to wish he was in King’s Landing, and when he is here, he wishes he could be in Winterfell, he was already missing it, he wanted to see his son, his five year old son, he had left him in good hands, with his loving half sister, and trusted friends and servants… but still

He was so small, he had it when he was so young, the only thing he had left of his dear friend Arra

If he married you… if…

He was going to give you children, his child, second child, was going to sit the Iron Throne one day… and his oldest was going to be Lord of Winterfell

That was… enticing, to say the least

Too good to be true….

Having children with you, a thought that enticed and scared him in equal measure

A child of Ice and Fire, a child who was going to be a Northerner by blood and a dragon rider as well…

He shifted on his feet again

He wanted it

And he could pretend he had a choice all he wanted, but he didn’t… he had signed the pact… the woman… the Queen seated in the Iron Throne…

Was his betrothed

It didn’t have to be two months, a week long boat ride to White harbor and another week on the road and he could be home quickly…

It had to work

Did you want this?

He gave you the service of ending the courts early, and then you abandoned the throne room.

But before he could reach you, he was intercepted by Celtigar

“I need to talk to you”, he said, Cregan only nodded as they walked together to a hallway of the Keep which seemed to be empty

“What is it?” He asked, his patience long gone

“I can marry her”, he said quickly

Cregan stopped in his tracks, and frowned

“You trust me, don’t you?”, he asked when he saw his face

“yes, but…”

“I can get you out of the pact… if she is the one to accept”

He should be relieved, he should have said yes immediately, but the thought of you marrying someone else… he didn’t like it.

Not that he didn’t trust his friend, he did, he was the best choice according to him, the day before he had offered himself, the thing is… he had changed in the last 24 hours… 

He wanted it, you, the seat at your side, the children you were going to give him…

But he wouldn’t even accept it himself, this was deep inside of him, he wanted to protect you, none of those southerners had what it took, only him, he didn’t trust anyone else, not really 

Only him…

“My name is in those papers”, he growled

“But perhaps if I speak to her, began to court her…”

“I’ll talk to her”, he cut him 

“I really think I should be the one…”, with only one look Cregan makes his friend stop speaking. He had just realized what he truly wanted to do, and he did not need to be contradicted now. “You are marrying her, aren’t you?”, he said, a smile sneaking on his friend’s face

“I don’t know yet, I don’t want to pressure her”, Celtigar only hummed

“I want to marry her too”, he said then. Cregan looked at his friend and he understood him, he was challenging him…

“May the best man win her affections then”, Cregan said.

He was not going to lose

And as he walked away Celtigar only smiled, having pushed his friend in the right direction by only pretending to want your hand in marriage

Cregan had asked Lord Redwyne for help and together they had set you up with young ladies, that shared your age, your ladies in waiting as it were. But instead he found you alone in the Red Keep garden, walking and escorted by one of your white cloaks

“What happened with your ladies in waiting?”, he asked point blank as he approached you, the lack of property, referring to you not as “your grace”, and it made your guard almost wince  

“I send them on their way”, you said simply, leaning in to smell a beautiful flower, barely acknowledging him

“I don’t want you to be lonely”, he said gently, you raised your eyes to look at him 

“yes, I know but they are so… vain… “this lord looked at me”, or “have you seen the dress she was wearing…”, Cregan only smiled condescendingly at you, “and I…”

“You are thinking about the wellness of millions”, he said, “concerned about the future of the entire realm, I understand”

“I understand the need to be distracted for a while, but…”, he only nodded

“I understand”, he said shortly

“Why are you here?”, you asked, nervous, he didn’t understand the change in your dynamic, you had felt confident and calm enough to cry in front of him, but now you were evading his gaze, and shifting in your feet in nerves

In your mind was a bit more clearer

You realized you liked him, you found yourself feeling butterflies in your belly when you saw his handsome face, and you wanted to punch yourself, for being so childish, you were not a young girl in front of her knight in shining armor, you were a Queen now, he was your hand, your advisor, and the head of one of the most important houses on the entire realm.

But you felt your legs shake, and your breath caught in your throat every time you saw him approach you

And every time he was near, you wanted him to stay near you, you felt your chest strangle your heart each time he walked away from you.

Gods this was strange even for you

“I want to ask you something”, he said slowly, you looked at him then, concerned 

“You are leaving”, you said.

You were not an idiot, you knew he had a son, he was the Lord of Winterfell, he needed to rule his home. You couldn’t expect of him to stay here forever 

That took him by surprise

“No”, he said softly

“But you have to go one day, don’t you?”

“That is what I wanted to talk about”, he said softly, your attention was on him then, you tried to pull on those dark feelings that would make you mad at him when he did decided to leave, he could not see that wide-eyed little girl who had a crush on him, not now, and you will not beg when he tells you it was going to be time for him to return home…

“... the marriage offers”, you were lost for a second but that certainly brought you back to attention

“Uh?”, you asked

“You had been offered several hands of many lords over these past few days”

“Did the small council put you up to this?”, you asked, bored

“You need to get married”, he said severely, “we need to make your family strong again, you need to settle your line…”

“I understand”, you said, looking down. You knew he had signed a pact to marry you, but you also did not want to hold him to it, there were different times, it was naive for you to think he was going to hold up his part, he had done enough already 

“A marriage is also an alliance”, he continued, “you need someone who will help you and guide you, but not manipulate you…”

You only nodded

“A strong person, with a powerful family name…”

“If you say Tyland Lannister I swear…”, he chuckled, and shook his head

“No…”, he said. He then stopped all his movements, you felt his gaze on you, so you stopped as well and raised your head and eyes to look at him, “who do you want?”, he asked then

“I’m not sure”, you said, but you did… you wanted him

For the doubt in your mind made him question his own decision. He thought you were going to name him, but you were truly doubtful

You didn’t think he was an option

“I don’t know any of those men”, you said then in a whisper 

“You know some…”, he tried, you looked at him

He felt even guilty for wanting it

He gave in to his deepest desire, of power and lust.

“Yes you are right”, you whispered, looking away from him again, “I just…. need to think this through”, you said with a low voice, you wanted to end this chat

But he didn’t, he needed you to say it

He had heard the small council ask him to, he had heard Lady Jayne Arryn… but he needed to hear it from you.

“There must be someone in your mind”, he said softly, with a gentle, soothing voice

“There was”, you admitted

“Talk to me, I’m your hand”, he continued, “I am here to advice you”

“Until you leave me”, you say then, without thinking, it was barely a whisper

So that’s it, he thought, you resented him for even the mere thought of him abandoning you

“I can come back”, he said then, with a hint of amusement on his voice 

You only hummed, you didn’t believe him, and you were going to feel terribly lost without him, again, alone, like you had been before he saved you…. before he took the city in your name and put you on the throne

He did all of that

There was nobody else you wanted by your side but him

You shared a longing look, a long gaze

What did he want? you asked yourself. He looked like he wanted to listen to you but also to speak, at the same time. You didn’t know what else to say

“What does that mean?”, you asked then. He sighed, loudly

“I signed a pact…”, he said

“Yes, my brother offered my hand in marriage in exchange for your allegiance and your swords”, you said lowly

“No”, he answered back, you looked at him intently, “he asked for my loyalty, he had it already, but he negotiated our union for the simple fact he was scared of something befalling you, he wanted to send you North under my protection to keep you safe from harm, from the war, and from the Greens”

Ah yes, safe from Aemond and Aegon

“That sounds like my brother”, you said, melancholy tainting your voice 

“He wanted to keep you safe”

“In more than one way you had kept your promise”, you assured him, “you took the city, took control…”

“I did”, he said softly, “for you”

“You are going to put a crown in my head”, you said

“In three days”, he said then, “and then you should announced your betrothal”

“I don’t have one”

“You do”, he said finally, his eyes, piercing eyes bore into yours, he dwarfed you in size, and even though he had left his fur cloak behind… he still look big and imposing

“Cregan…”, you called

“Say it”, he encouraged 

“You signed the pact…”, you said.

As you looked at him, you grew angry

What did he want from you? to beg? you didn’t even know. He had signed that past, to marry you one day, and yet, he dodged that part at every turn, he needed to return home, you understood that he had a son, a little boy who needed his father, so why was he here? talking to you in this way? 

“You promised to marry me”, you said softly, he barely nodded, his eyes looking intently at you, “but I understand…”, he frowned then, and you started walking away from him. Letting him standing in the garden

You called in a small council meeting, on your own accord

They were right, you needed to make your family bigger and stronger…

“I called in this meeting because I have to make a demand”, you said firmly, your small council looking amongst each other, Cregan was silent, playing with the dragon eye in front of him

“Tomorrow the Barahteon will present themselves to me, and I want to tell you my intentions so you’ll be prepared”, you said firmly, “It is to my understanding that princess Jahaera, daughter of Aegon the Usurper, is still in Storm’s End…”

“As a guest”, said lord Lannister

“As a hostage”, you said then, “It is to my understanding that she was on her way here, when Aegon was poisoned”, you said softly, “I know because it was discussed at the dinner table in front of me, yet, she is not here, I understand they are trying to keep her safe as some sort of leverage, but…”, you continued, and then you soften your gaze, “I want her here, she is a little girl, a Targaryen, daughter to my lovely aunt Helaena, and she should be with me and Aegon, with family”, you said softly

“Your grace is most graceful”, muttered the Maester, the others murmured their affirmations

“Tomorrow I will demand of the Baratheons to bring little Jahaera back to me, when she is here, we will betrothed her to Aegon, to finally solidify the family and end this madness”, yous aid with a soft smile

Aemond, Aegon, Alicent and Otto are and will burn in hell

But not Helaena and her children

She was an angel, so were the little boys that lost her lives

Jahaera was the only one left, you owe it to Helaena to keep her safe

After the affirmation and support of your small council, you walked towards your little brother’s chambers

He had become so quiet and sad, which was expected, but still, you tried to keep his mind busy, you would put Septas and maesters to teach him and accompany him, at all ours, soon, one of your King’s guards will teach him the art of the sword.

Now you make sure to sit and dine with him

Even though he barely spoke

“Jahaera will come to court soon”, you whispered to him as you served yourself a cup of wine

“Who was Jahaera?”, he asked innocently, of course he didn’t remember 

“Helaena’s child”, you said, “she is your age, you can have fun together”

“Oh”, it's the only thing he said, while continue to have little pieces of bread and meat 

“Maybe one day you can get married”, you said lightly

“When are you getting married?”, he asked then and made you laugh

“Soon, but I don’t know with whom!”, you said as it was a joke, it was sad that it was true

“Marry Cregan”, he said simply

“WHy?”, you asked him, amazed

“I see the way he looks at you”, he said simply

“How does he look at me?”, you asked him

“As papa looked at mama”, he said, and you got quiet

“He has to go back North”, yous aid lightly

“You can command him to stay, you are the Queen”, he said, still not looking at you

“If I only command without listening to reason I’m a Tyrant”, you said softly, “not a queen”

“He wants to stay”, he said

“I don’t know if he does, you know Northerners don’t fare well here in the south”, you joked 

“Command him”, he insisted

“Aren’t you a little tyrant?”, you teased, reaching over the table and tickling his side until he squealed in a laugh

But gods if that made you think…

“He looks at you they way papa looked at mama”

Daemon Targaryen wasn’t much of a communicative man, he didn’t need to speak, it was all in his eyes…

He could make men tremble with just his gaze, he could make his children giggle with a wink, and he could make your mother swoon with that sparkle in his eyes.

Even little Aegon could tell 

Even if the nannies took control over your little brother, you were by his side until he fell asleep, and then you went to your own room

You served yourself a cup of wine, another cup of wine.

“Call in Lord Stark please”, you asked Eryk, and he nodded and went to fulfill your requirement 

It was inappropriate, to say the least, to summon a man to your chambers at this late… but you needn't to worry about such matters… Or you did

Your brother was right, you were a Queen, you had to begin to act like one 

Cregan foud you seated by the fire, in a relaxed stance, with a goblet of wine in your hand

“Your grace”, he greeted, he seemed serious, but you believed you found a glint in his eye… you were started to get to know him and his facial expressions, as cold as they may seem

“My Lord Hand”

“You will summon me and believe me, I will attend to your calling, but I must say, if someone sees me coming into your chambers at the hour of the owl, where we are going to be alone…”

“I’m aware”, you said, smiling at him

“What do you need?”, he asked gently, with a smirk on his lips

“Today in the garden…”, you started, “you mentioned the pact you sign”

“Yes I did”, he said

“Why?”, you asked him

“Why?”, he asked back

“Why would you bring it up?”, you asked again, “it seems that you do not intent to honor it”, he got quiet then, analyzing you

“I meant…”

“There is no one else…”, you said, “it is you”, you looked up at him, your eyes sparkling. He softened his gaze

“Is that a command?”, he asked, amusement in his voice, it was like he was playing a game.

“Marry me”, you said, “honor the pact of Ice and Fire… you can come back home, on the condition of course that you come back…”

“To you”, he said

“To me”, you agreed. “Everyone will be at ease, well, except for the Hightowers, when you sit at my side in the throne…”, you said, he barely nodded, still smiling 

“I don’t think so…”, he said finally, you stopped all your movements, was he rejecting you? he was not going to marry you? you had to command him, if he refused, you could fall through, you couldn’t make a man marry you… you started feeling ashamed of even summoning him here… you were starting to feel like an idiot

He turned his back to you and went to the small table in the corner and served himself a goblet of wine.

“I think they will feel threatened..”, he continued, you smiled then, taking a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “you and me together…”, he continued, taking a sip, “soon they’ll realize… the dragon and the wolf sat together… and they are all sheep”

You both smiled widely at each other 

this is the vibe I was going for jajaja

Cregan is... complex... everyone wanted a tougher Cregan, i'm giving a gray one. He has ambitions, and wants power, and he is not indiferent to us, the beautiful young Queen... of what I read about Cregan, it is what I perceive... anyways... hope you like... maybe I moved it a bit too quickly but I want to get to the good part

taglist! ❤️

@lyannesworld @tremendouswolfsaladranch @unlesshouse @mimsie95 @ostricx @amelia262006 @marihoneywk @ahristata @happinessinthebeing @dd122004dd

@lyannesworld @aestmilky @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @stargaryenx @lightdragonrayne @delaynew @mxtokko @good-night-starlight @yentroucnagol @beebeechaos 

[copperbadge]

I went to the library this afternoon, intending to get a study room and do some work on the novel, but I got distracted and ended up spending the two hours working on a short story instead.

Georgie has said that Michaelis hired her after she rescued his friend's child from a kidnapping, and it was suggested to me recently that the friend could be Oliver McAllister, Michaelis's old school mate from Pirates of the Riviera. I was skeptical because the timing didn't quite work out, but I couldn't stop thinking about the idea, so I decided to try making it work.

And let me tell you, these messy bitches.

In 2015, Michaelis is deep in his Kingbot 3000 phase so he doesn't have to Have Feelings, and Gregory has coerced him into taking a vacation by threatening a coup. Meanwhile, Olly is fresh from his second divorce, from a woman who just tried to kidnap their child. Georgie is the most together person in the room and she's an unemployed twentysomething who just beat three men unconscious to prevent said kidnapping.

And the most amusing part to me is that because of how I set it up, Michaelis is just trying to be friendly but inadvertently keeps coming across like he's trying to seduce Georgie. Which also makes Georgie joking about trying to marry him for his money in Royals/Ramblers even funnier.

"Ma'am, the police would like to take a statement," Lael said to Georgie.

"I can have Lael find you a lawyer if you want," Michaelis added. She gave him a sardonic look. 

"All right, let's get it over with," she sighed. "There goes my visit to the Musee D'Orsay."

"We'll give you the room. Olly, why don't you go in with your boy, so the police can speak with you if needed. Lael and I will be at the cafe next door when you've finished."

Georgie nodded, but he stopped as he passed her and put a hand on her arm.

"Come see us when you're done," he said quietly, ducking his head so the police at the doorway couldn't see their faces. "And cancel your job interview in London."

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Stay in Paris. You can see the museum this weekend. The palace will cover your lodging and food."

"I...don't want to offend," she said slowly, "but I'm not -- " 

"I'm not flirting with you," he said, realizing belatedly how it might seem to her, and taking his hand from her arm. She looked faintly relieved. "I'm going to spend the time you're giving a statement assembling a job offer for you with my security office. Any young woman who can spot a kidnapping before it happens and soundly beat three grown men should not be leaving Askazer-Shivadlakia to do a job she hates in London. Now, regardless of that, and I say this as a concerned friend, not as king or employer: be honest and helpful with the police, but...economical."

"Just the facts?" she asked. 

"Exactly." He gave her an approving nod and followed Lael out. They were silent in the hallway and lobby, until they stepped out into the street and Lael exhaled.

"That was impressive," he said. "Young lady has a great right hook."

"She's certainly very alert," Michaelis agreed.

"It's been a long time since I've seen someone throw a punch like that."

"Say it and you're fired," Michaelis said good-naturedly. He'd known Lael since the head of security had been a young palace aide during Michaelis's first days as king -- if still years older than the king himself -- and he knew what was coming. 

"Not since our last trip to Galia," Lael said, voice full of relish. "That time a young hothead punched Duke Tomas in the face."

"Utterly fired. I've found your replacement. I'm putting you out to pasture with no pension." 

"You think she'd make a good successor to me?" Lael asked. He was joking but, simultaneously, he was not -- they were both getting older, and Lael was as aware as Michaelis that when a new king was elected in a few years, whoever it was, they would need someone younger, someone who could more easily keep up with them. 

"You tell me," Michaelis said. "You're the expert." 

"Oh, I've been fired, clearly my opinion isn't wanted," Lael said, as they settled into a table at the cafe, Lael with his back to the wall, eyes always scanning behind Michaelis. There had never, at least as far as Michaelis knew, been an attempt on his life, but he'd become used to never getting direct eye contact in public from the man whose job it was, after all, to watch his back. 

"Fine, I withdraw your firing. I suspect purely on her ability to sass me, she is your equal if not your better," he added, as the waitress approached. He ordered coffee and pastries briskly, then turned back to Lael. 

"Well, it's difficult to tell on two minutes' acquaintance," Lael replied, "but actions do speak louder than words." 

"Agreed. Perhaps a contingent offer? She has a law degree; she could likely earn more than we could offer her for a job like yours, but I think she's looking for the right job, not the right pay. Say three months of probation with guaranteed six months of pay to ensure she takes it, and a firm permanent offer at the end if you approve? Conditions non-negotiable but a bit of wiggle room in the salary, I think." 

Lael considered it, then nodded. "I suppose it's paranoia to imagine she might have arranged all this to get into the Palace employ."

"As what, a spy? I love a thriller novel, Lael, but they are fiction," Michaelis replied, amused.

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[queenie-official]

Chapter One: ‘To find a king’ Bridgerton Au!Anakin

a/n: some of this is going to be time accurate but i’m definitely taking creative liberties 😭 im not a historian so please don’t come for me if certain parts are unrealistic for the time (this goes for all future chapters as well btw)

you take a sharp breath in as the air is pulled from your lungs with the tightening of the corset. your lady-in-waiting finishes with one final tug on the laces that makes you huff in protest. “sorry your highness” She says in a brief whisper. “it’s quite alright Eleanora, you’re only doing your job” she nods in acknowledgment as she begins to put on your Pannier.

tuning back into the rather unpleasant conversation you where having with the man standing outside your bedroom door- Barclay your royal advisor had claimed the matter to urgent to wait for you to get ready before he spoke to you, Thus leading you to your current setup- “the people do not think you can rule without a king” he continues on with the same Argument you’ve been having with each other for days now.

“my father ruled by himself for years when my mother past” you counter while shuffling slightly so that Eleanora could put on your petticoats easier. “i’m aware your majesty but with all do respect, he was The king and you will be just a queen” as soon as the sentence leaves his mouth a bitter taste enters yours, glaring daggers through the door that you could only hope he’d sense. “i am not just a queen, i am The queen. its my birthright.” you state sternly as a final white decorative silk petticoat is placed on top of your other three petticoats. the process of getting dressed already aiding in your exhaustion that the conversation was providing you.

“i must remind you that you are not the queen yet. as of right now you are merely crown princess until your coronation day” he says matter of factly, god if your father hadn’t trusted him so much you’d have had him removed from the Castle effective immediately. unfortunately he was one of the only things aside from your own kingdom you had to remind you of him.

you had a feeling he knew this otherwise he’d be a lot less outspoken. regardless of all that you where still the soon to be queen and therefore had every right to put him in his place. “i’d choose your next words very carefully Barclay” it’s more bark than bite, the worst you’d do is send him off to his room for the day like a child who’d gotten in trouble for eating sweets before dinner but that didn’t make the threat any less real.

you hear Barclay take a deep breath, clearly trying to think of a different approach. “your majesty i of course see you as our queen, but the people not so much is what i mean. i think it pertinent to remind you the people must feel heard, and they want a king.” he tries and all you can do is scoff.

“utterly ridiculous, i am just as capable as any man” You reply curtly, moving your arms as Eleanora puts your dress on.

“it’s not necessarily that they think you ill fit, but you also must consider that a husband secures the throne..” your brows knit together in confusion at this admission. now standing impossibly still as engageantes where now being basted onto the elbow part of your sleeve, not wanting to get accidentally pricked from the needle. “secures the throne?” you ask unable to deduct what Barclay had been insinuating.

“with a husband comes the ability of an heir” a silence fills the air as he awaits your response. “oh” was all you could muster out as your mind now raced, how that had slipped your mind. You truly didn’t know but at the very least the need for a king made more sense in your mind now. Of course the people thought you fit to lead, but they also want to make sure you wouldn’t be the last.

“though that aside i think the people would trust you more with a man leading as well” Barclay said cutting off your string of thoughts immediately. you roll your eyes, wanting nothing more then to curse him out but you bite your tongue.

“he would not be leading- i would be leading and maybe i’d allow him to aid me” you say as Eleanora finishes, now just adding the final touches of jewelry and perfume. “your majesty-” he began clearly taken aback and slightly appalled by your statement. “Barclay” you cut him off, just wanting the conversation to end. “it is your most important role as queen to provide the people their future.” he chimes back, doing his best to redirect back to the main point of all of this.

you sigh, brows knitting together as you walk out of the bedroom now facing the Annoying man head on. “provide them a future by baring an heir- to place the weight of that on a child” you state slightly appalled at the thought. “you’ve handled it well” he points out, making your face sour.

“have I really..” you trail off, thinking back to your own childhood. you’d been blessed to have a father that tried to shelter you as long as he could. but of course there was a point where the truth was told and the weight of it all crashed down on you, at the time you weren’t sure if you would have rather known sooner. maybe it would of felt less world ending, then again you knew it wouldn’t have made it any easier to cope with. Having the entire kingdom of Alderaan watching your every move as you grew, a scary thought and even scarier reality you live.

“a husband then” you say forcefully pulling yourself from your own thoughts. Beginning to walk down the hallway with Barclay trailing after you. “correct” he says seemingly pleased with your sudden shift. though in your defense days of his constant blathering about finding a king had worn you down, at least you could say you put up a good fight. “easy enough i suppose” you say while mulling the idea over, keeping your head high as you walk towards the dinning hall.

“he must be of sufficient status” Barclay adds quickly making you pause and turn to face him.“how am i to find someone of sufficient status in such a short time between now and my coronation?” you ask in disbelief and frustration.

“well…” he starts clearly not having thought of that either. “whatever we do we’ll have to be discreet about it, if word gets out that you’re simply marrying a random Man just so he’ll fill a role- it would be a scandal. the people would question how much you truly care if you are to put a stranger on the throne beside you” he warns.

“well they wouldn’t have to worry about that at all if they just let me lead the way i wish. Without a King” you huff and yes you’re aware how childish you must be coming off, but come on marrying a man just to gain your people’s approval? it all seemed rather arbitrary. 

“your majesty.” Barclay says clearly annoyed, he looked like he was about to go on another tangent to explain why you must marry someone. the idea of having to listen to him go on and on again made a headache form and you quickly interjected before he could do so “yes i’m aware Barclay.. we’ll keep this a private matter for now, let’s not tell anyone including the royal council” you say reaffirming what he’d warned you about as you enter the dinning hall, honestly you weren’t even that hungry.

Between your conversation with Barclay and how tight your corset was you truly didn’t have much of an appetite at the moment. “it’s a matter of the people, for the people” he says surprising you. utterly confused you turn to him, giving your full attention. “i’m sorry didn’t you just warn me that if word got out it’d be a scandal?” you raise a brow at him, and he scoffs “i meant the people of Alderaan not the royal council” he states with crossed arms a unamused look on his face.

“my private life is non of their business” you say say with a glare, crossing your own arms mocking him. “your business is all of their business, you are the queen” he’s quick to point out and all you could do was laugh at the audacity. “i thought you said i was merely the crown princess? funny how quickly that view changes when needed” before he could fight back you hold your hand up silencing him. “we can discuss this more further later, currently i have more pressing matters to attend to. I mean it when i say we tell no one Barclay, not yet anyway.” you walk away before he can respond, off to do your duties for the day.

part 2

okay here’s chapter one🤭🤭 i hope you guys like it- i actually had a lot of fun writing this and researching certain things. this is going to be more of a reverse Queen Charlotte bridgerton story situation. 😗Anakin is going to be introduced in the next chapter, i’ve actually already got like two more chapters started so i’ll probably work on those tonight 😋 anyway i did go in with the intent to make this a one shot but quickly realized that was not gonna work if i didn’t want it to seem rushed 😭 so yea… anyways i think that’s all i had to say, have a good day huns Xx<3

[cressidagrey]

New Pursuits - Chapter 1: Painting

Summary:

The shadows decide that Azriel needs a hobby.

5 times when said hobby-related shenanigans didn’t end so well…and the one time where it may end up better than Azriel could ever have imagined.

Warnings:

Rhys bashing

(super pretty dividers thanks to @saradika)

That’s enough, Master.

The shadows didn’t normally talk to Azriel like that. 

Never, to be honest. 

And when they did, then because he took a stupid risk while doing his job. 

They did not talk to him like that when he was curled up in his bed in the House of Wind…at 6 in the evening. 

He could have gone to dinner with the rest of the Inner Circle. 

He hadn’t wanted to. 

Azriel was licking his wounds. 

About that solstice, about Morrigan and Elain…About Rhysand and about his own fucking feelings…and about everything that had ever gone wrong in his life because why not?

What’s enough? He asked, listlessly. He could do without them badgering him. Seemingly everybody was badgering him. Cassian tried to talk to him about his feelings, Rhysand was glaring at him at any opportunity, waiting for him to say something…Even when he wasn’t.

Azriel wasn’t going to say anything. Or do anything.

It wouldn’t result in anything and…Azriel was tired. 

Azriel was so fucking tired. 

Your moping, Master. It’s enough, the shadows hissed. Either you do something against how the High Lord is treating you or stop moping. 

It probably shouldn’t amuse him as much as it did. 

What do you want me to do? You heard him , he shot back nonetheless. Gods, this was how it ended, wasn’t it? Him having a conversation with his shadows that question his life choices. It couldn’t get sadder than that.   What do you want me to do instead? He asked with a sigh. He blinked open his eyes to find a tendril of shadows curled up on his chest like a cat…he reached out to pet it absentmindedly. 

They were there. They were always there. Regardless of what anybody else had tried…they were there. 

It had pissed up the Illyrian commanders during the Blood Rite to no end because there had been no way to level the playing field so to speak. His shadows were there and they were ready to kill if he commanded them so. And he had done that. Often. 

And still…how fucked up was it that the weapons that he had been honed to use… had been the one thing keeping him sane during these long years in his father’s keep? There weren’t many shadowsingers. Most went insane before they ever even reached adulthood. 

But Azriel…Azriel had always…always Azriel loved these shadows. Azriel adored them. Azriel liked being surrounded by them. 

Azriel trusted them implicitly…and they were the one thing in his fucking life nobody could take from him. Or turn against him. 

The one thing that comforted him. 

And he felt like a child again, when these shadows had coached him through fighting ring after fighting ring, over obstacle course over obstacle course…over getting beat down in the mud and getting back up again. 

And now there they were. Coaching him through a fucking heartbreak. 

Either actually sleep or do something fun, Master, they told him immediately. 

Right. 

Fun? Something fun? 

When had he last done something fun? 

He couldn’t even remember. He couldn’t even fucking think about it. 

What’s fun? He asked, not even joking. 

The shadows nearly sighed, the one tendril he was still petting, twitching against his hand. 

Like a hobby. 

A hobby, he repeated incredulously. 

You need a hobby, Master, the shadows decided matter of factly.

I don’t think so. 

Yes, you do. Like…Painting. Like the High Lady does! They snapped right back. She seems much happier than you are!

Yeah, well that probably had nothing to do with the paint and more to do with her mate and her son. But as the shadows couldn’t procure him either…painting it would apparently be. 

You want me to paint? He asked with a sigh. They were going to get their way. He knew that. It didn’t fucking matter what he thought of it. They were going to get him to paint and it was easier if he was just going to give in now. 

We want Master to be happy! We want Master to stop being miserable!

It was sweet. A bunch of shadows cared about how he was feeling. Who could say that? 

Granted most faes had other faes that cared how they were feeling but hey, Azriel was taking what he was getting these days. 

And you think painting is going to help? He asked them, slightly doubtful but…

Well, lying around in the dark won’t.  They quipped. True. 

It wouldn’t. He turned to his side, staring at the wall. 

Painting. 

Quite frankly…Why the fuck not? 

He had spent hours doing far more horrible things that hadn’t made him happy in the slightest. So why not? 

What was the worst that could happen? 

Fine, I’ll buy some painting supplies tomorrow, he agreed. 

Azriel did do that...  He also bought a book about it, because he figured if he already tried his best at painting, maybe some instruction would be helpful.  

He knew himself well enough that he absolutely would fail at actually painting something realistic…like a horse. It would never look like a horse. So why not…get a book about painting that looked more like blobs of colour than anything else. It seemed to take painting in a way more…spiritual sense. 

The book thinks you should paint your soul! The shadows told him excitedly.  

Right. Azriel didn’t buy enough black paint for that. 

Still, he amused the shadows. He unpacked a small canvas on his desk that he had cleaned off…got himself a cup of tea, some brushed…He plucked up the tube filled with black paint, squeezed some on his new paint pallet…dipped a brush into it…

Well. 

Why not? 

And then he smeared that paint all over his canvas. 

It looked horrible. But who cared, right? 

It wasn’t like Azriel ever actually bought many things. He bought presents for solstice and new clothing if he really needed that…and that was it. So if he dropped a few hundreds of gold coins on painting supplies and nothing pretty came out of it…well, he needed to practice first, right? 

Maybe add some colour? The shadows suggested enthusiastically, swirling around him, poking at his paint pallet, and the few colours he had bought, picking up a tube and squeezing a dollop of brilliant blue onto his pallet. 

Why not?

Red and white and blue later…a gorgeous painting was born. 

If the viewer was blind. 

I don’t think I am particularly talented. Shouldn’t a hobby be something I am good at?  He wondered. 

Go to Rita’s when they have karaoke night and you’ll find lots of Faes that aren’t good at singing and still enjoy themselves, the shadows quipped. 

True. 

Maybe he didn’t need to be good at it. Maybe he could just fill canvas after canvas with colour after colour and watch them swirl together…maybe he could just do that. 

Granted he had no idea what he was supposed to do with them if he was finished, but…the filling process itself, was…therapeutic in a sense. 

“Az… What are you doing?” came his brother’s voice from the door and his head shot up.  “I knocked, but you didn’t answer,” Cassian said drily. 

“Painting,” he answered evenly. That was a thing people did. 

“…I am seeing that. Is there a specific reason for it?” Cassian asked him, pronouncing every word like he thought Azriel had gone off the deep end. Completely insane. Off his rockers. 

“The shadows think I should have a hobby. They suggested painting,”  Azriel answered truthfully. Cassian just stared at him, eyebrows climbing into his hairline. 

“And what is that supposed to be?” he asked, waving to the canvas, filled with swirls of black and red and blue. 

“Me,” Azriel answered. He wondered what Cassian saw into it. Azriel only saw the black of his burned-out heart, the red of the blood dripping of his hands and the blue of the siphons containing his killing power.  Maybe somewhere in there was the gleaming onyx black of Truth Teller as well. 

“Anything I can help you with?”  he changed the topic abruptly. 

“Just wanted to ask you if you are going to Windhaven this week,” Cassian responded. “I know it was in your plans but…” 

He was. He was going to hate every fucking second but he was. 

“Yes, on Friday,” he answered darkly. It would be…fine. It always was fine. Regardless of how many fucking quips about fire and scars any of the Illyrians there made to him…

“Are you alright?” Cassian asked him and he looked up to find his brother mustering him. 

“Why shouldn’t I be?” he responded. He was perfectly fine. Right? 

“Your shadows think you should have a hobby.” Cassian gave back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “They have never thought that in 500 years. 

True. 

“I am fine,” he promised Cassian with a sigh. He was going to be just fine. Maybe if he just painted another canvas…or something. 

“Good. Go back to your…artistic pursuits then,” Cassian said with a shit-eating grin over his shoulder as he went, closing the door behind him. 

Azriel sat there, staring at his painting, picking it up. 

Painting always seemed to calm Feyre. Feyre loved painting.

But Feyre was good at it. She had an inborn talent for it. Her paintings were so real, that he felt like he could reach out and pluck the leaves of the trees, feel the sunrays on his own skin…He could feel what the people in her painting felt. He could…nearly taste the smells of the river or the meadows…he could…

Feyre was good at it. 

Azriel…Azriel slapped paint on a canvas and called that art. 

And it wasn’t. 

And he got angry at himself that he thought he could do this, because he couldn’t, because he was bad at it or at least not good enough and…

That’s enough, Master.

The shadows warned him, as his hand twitched in the direction of Truthteller. 

Feyre relaxed when she painted.  Azriel…Azriel just got angry. And wanted to stab his fucking canvas. 

“You know what? I don’t think painting it for me.”

[trigunwritings]

Bad Habits (and Dutiful Husbands)

Rating: General

Relationships: Fem!Reader/Wolfwood/Vash

Summary: Vash and Wolfwood have to take care of a job, but their thoughts are still with their wife.

Written by @blood--hunter

Note: Reader is referred to as wife and uses she/her. Various pet names are also used through the writing.

The lighter sparked to life with only one flick. Wolfwood sighs in relief, lifting the small dancing flame to his cigarette as if it were as delicate as a butterfly. Just as he’s about to cup his hand—mostly out of habit— around the end, there is the sound of a gunshot.

In the same breath that the bullet meets his cigarette, Nicholas lets out a sigh. He had known it was going to happen, but it was still an annoyance that made his teeth grind.

“Seriously?” He asks, flickering dark eyes to the man walking towards him. Vash was dressed in his usual red coat as always, blond hair waving gently in the desert wind. “You couldn’t even let me have one drag?”

Though his gun was nowhere to be seen, Vash was the only one stupid enough to literally shoot something out of Nicholas D. Wolfwood’s mouth and not expect any consequences or accidental injuries.

“You heard the little lady.” Vash said, taking the final few steps to stand before his husband. “No more smoking. It’s bad for your lungs!”

Nick gnashed his teeth again, leaning against the large, cross-shaped gun that was behind him. Vash was, unfortunately, right. Their wife had strict orders for him not to smoke anymore largely out of concern for his health. He hadn’t the heart to tell her that his newfound powers would keep anything like cancer at bay, instead acquiescing to her and Vash’s whims than try to make the argument.

“Whatever,” He spits, turning his eyes to the ruined, ramshackle house before him. Within was hidden the Glass Gang, known for burning down any town they went through and turning the sand itself to glass in their wake. They preferred fire as their weapon of choice, and there was a bounty on them that could cover the bills for months. “At least I didn’t show up late.”

“Aw, c’mon, I just got a little held up.”

Wolfwood didn’t comment—with Vash, the excuse was probably literal.

He hoists his gun onto his shoulder, letting it sit there as he sauntered to the front door.

“Hey,” the man said, banging loudly at the door that held on by barely one hinge, “Come on out!”

“Could be a little more polite.” Vash sighs, but he stands there regardless, hovering over Nick’s shoulder like a worried hen.

Ever since they’d gotten married he had started doing that. He did it to their wife too, hovering, fidgetting, worrying about their health and how they felt. It was Vash’s way of showing how he cared, so Nick allowed it, and sometimes—only sometimes—he even found it cute. Their wife had told him that he needed to accept some things, like people caring about him, when they got married. Her words rang in his ears in moments like these.

It’s because he loves you, Wolfwood. Let him.

“Ain’t commin’ out!” A voice finally rings from inside.

He sighs. Sometimes he wished he’d just picked a different profession. Maybe being the town preacher would have been better, but it never really stuck and—if he were an honest man—he preferred sticking to Vash’s side. Otherwise, their wife would have done it and he didn’t think he could bare being the one at home taking care of things while she and their husband was out earning money.

Vash pipes up before Wolfwood can think of anything to say. “We have donuts!”

“Really?”

Nick raises a brow, looking to his husband. Vash is subtly shaking his head no.

So, it was a lie, then.

The voice inside responds all the same, “Then I guess I will!”

Nick has enough forethought to leap away from he door, grabbing Vash by the edge of his sleeve and hauling ass. Just as they get clear the slab of wood is kicked open— a burst of flames taking up the space where they had just stood.

Vash whines from beside them as they hit the sand. He looks over his shoulder to see a tall man—taller than even Vash— standing in the doorway. The gang-member held a huge flame thrower in his hands, complete with a large tank attached to the back of it, probably filled with some sort of fuel.

“What? No donuts for me!” The man says, a wide, hungry grin on his face, “Or are they all burnt?” Nick rolls his eyes but Vash chuckles, even if it is a little awkward.

“So,” His husband speaks from beside him as they both stand, dusting themselves off. “No way we can convince you to just turn yourselves in?”

“‘Fraid not.”

“Well, that stinks.” Vash sighs, “And here I told my wife that I wouldn’t get into any trouble today.”

“Our wife,” Wolfwood corrects, expression straight and unwavering.

The gang-member’s face crumples in confusion and discuss. “Your wife? What kind of woman would marry you two assholes?”

Nicholas lifts the punisher, taking aim for the tank of fuel, but Vash stops him with a firm hand on the end of his gun.

“Now, now, no need to go insulting us.”

The man chuckles. Nicholas’ frown deepens. One more stupid word and he was going to be eating lead.

“Nah, I won’t insult you anymore. But I am gonna make your little lady at home eat your ashes!”

He lifts his flame thrower. Vash dodges out of the way, rolling to the man’s side while Wolfwood goes the other way both of them are flanking him but as they get into position gun fire erupts from the house. The rest of the gang was joining the party.

Fine by him.

Wolfwood strafes with the weight of his weapon on his shoulder, letting bullets strip through the house’s walls. He knew Vash didn’t want anyone killed, and he didn’t want to disappoint his husband, but it was better to lay down covering fire and risk maiming someone than get killed themselves. Their wife would never forgive them if the both of them didn’t come back in one piece.

Vash, for his part, acclimates quickly to the new scenario and moves to be behind the large man. Unwilling to fire at—what seems to be—their boss, or to get hit themselves, the gang-members stop firing, probably to attempt to repossession themselves.

Their leader growls deep in the back of his throat, trying to swing around to set Vash ablaze but Wolfwood’s husband is too fast, and manages to stay behind him as he swings from side to side.

“Get back here you little freak!”

“No thanks! I don’t wanna end up roasted!”

“Fight fair damnit!”

“Nope!”

As the two of them continue to bicker, Wolfwood makes his way into the house. There are five other gang members and all of them are scrawny, hungry men who aren’t very hard to take down now that their cover is gone and their boss is preoccupied. After tying them up with rope as one big group he emerges from the house again.

Vash has his hands raised, a simpering smile on his face as the boss points the nozzle of his flame-thrower at the other man.

“Got you now!”

Wolfwood sighs, rolling his eyes. “When are you going to stop playing with him?”

The boss smiles wide, eyeing him. “What? So you want me to roast your husband right in front of your eyes!”

“Wasn’t talking to you.”

The man’s face crumples in confusion, but it’s Vash who speaks next. “Oh, I was just gonna let him get this out of his system first.”

With a click the gang-member attempts to light his weapon. Then another click. And another.

Click. Click. Click.

It’s only now that he realizes the tank of fuel is long gone, Vash having gotten rid of it long before Wolfwood even went into the house.

“W-What?!”

“Sorry buddy, couldn’t let you go around setting people on fire!”

Before the man can say anything more, he’s on the ground and his hands are tied behind his back.

Another long breath leaves Nicholas and he grabs for his cigarettes without thinking. He barely has time to put it in his mouth before a gunshot rings out, knocking it away once again.

“God damnit blondie!”

“Hey! Wifey’s orders!”

[hedghost]

Hedge’s Official Ranking of the 24/25 WSL Kits That Literally Nobody Asked For - Home Edition

please please tell me your thoughts in the reblogs or tags!!! i love hearing other people’s critiques. this is the one time the woso community can all come together and complain about the same thing!

1.Liverpool

potentially a controversial opinion but this is Nice As Hell! i know a lot of people said the collars are ugly but like idk it’s kinda giving if you ask me. it’s bold, it’s a statement. i love retro. this is just a good kit. it’s doing bits without doing too much. simple, tasteful, plus a little subtle pizzazz with those jaunty ass stripes - werk it ladies!

plus this kit is made from recycled plastic bottles, nice job! save those turtles liverpool!

apparently the pattern spells out ynwa, which i’m totally Not seeing (maybe i misunderstood this). i’m getting a Y, and then like an H in there maybe? and then i’m just lost, so not sure you hit the mark with that one, but love you for trying! it’s a cool pattern regardless, so i’d maybe just ditch the whole symbolism jargon and stick with that. overall nice job guys - 9/10

bonus points for that prematch shirt, love the detailing on it very sexy top marks

2. Arsenal

sorry arsenal fans, this shit is ugly as fuckkkkk - i’m not even being biased or trying to start fights (for once) it’s just like so hideous. i didn’t really like last season’s but compared to this that was a masterpiece. it’s so PLAIN! the weird red splodge is like not flattering at all and the blue? what’s that all about? also i fucking hate the back it looks like a used period pad, so hopefully the numbers fix that.

praying for your sakes you get a nice third kit or something bc this is ass.

also i’m a HATER for minimalist badge designs. this cannon logo makes the shirt look like a uniform for a museum volunteer. don’t get me wrong - arsenal is not the only culprit. what has a good old crest ever done to you? why do we hate maximalism? why do we hate fun? - 4/10

3. Manchester City

now this is fine. it’s just fine. it’s objectively nice, but it’s also objectively boring! as! fuck! the solid blue is clean but a little too flat. something looks off. it’s missing something. idk it’s nice ig, but it also seems identical to last season? if i saw these pics with no context i’d literally think it was from this year, but that’s the case with most top tier clubs it seems. have some fun guys! push the boat out! where’s the whimsy? but yeah anyway it’s alright.

at least they tried with the sleeves. allegedly they have the manchester dialling code 0161 on them but i mean - do they? do they really? because it looks like a bus seat to me. city fans decide for yourself i guess, because i for one won’t be getting close enough to a city shirt to look

it’s also made from recycled waste textiles so yay again! probably made from all the city shirts people threw out after they all but fucked the title 🤭 - 7/10

4. Tottenham Hotspur

wow spurs this is nice. it’s just so clean, so crisp. my normal issue with spurs kits is their absolute undying commitment to being plain as fuck. they picked one colour, white - arguably the most boring colour of all, arguably even the total absence of colour - and stuck to it. this however? it’s simplicity done well. it’s still plain and simple, but in a gorgeous sexy way. those navy retro colourblock sleeves? stunning! the crispest white you’ve ever seen? stunning! the tiniest of sleeve embellishments? stunning! simplicity done well. it’s just so crispy. pleases my eye.

also huge respect to them for not jumping of the band wagon with the whole ‘every shirt must have ugly details with symbolic meaning we grasped at straws to come up with in order to do something new and edgy’. spurs said no! they said ‘oh this? yeah this is a football shirt. what does it mean? it means football shirt.’ thanks spurs, good job - 9.5/10

5. Crystal Palace

ummmm. now. hmm. uhh. what? this is, um, what? give me a second to get my thoughts in order. i don’t know what is happening here and i’m at a loss for words.

right. crystal palace. inaugural season in the wsl. making a statement. making a splash. right. here’s the thing. i’m always saying wsl kits are too boring. i’m always saying we want fun patterns and whimsy. i’m looking at this in genuine confusion because i actually do not know what is going on here. do i like it? not sure? do i hate it? also not sure?

i think i kind of like it? but i also kind of hate it? it’s insanely busy, it’s probably the most garish kit i’ve ever seen in my life. i think part of the problem is that the club doesn’t have a great colour palette to work from. it’s very bright. i do love the pattern of the eagle crest in the blue, that’s a huge win from me. it’s just those spray paint red splatters that’s throwing me off. it looks like they spent ages making a lovely blue eagle pattern and then remembered they needed red in there so just used the funky spray tools on microsoft paint to draw over the top. it’s giving shit cgi blood splatter in a low budget zombie film. it’s like the barcelona shirts if they were designed by a gcse art student on an acid trip.

the more i’m looking at it however, i’m kind of loving it? kinda camp i guess. this one could be a grower. i’m still confused. at least they’ll make a splash in the wsl - 6/10

6. Manchester United

you’d think by now that i would have learnt to not get my hopes up with this club. remember the long long list of disappointments from yanited this season that i never shut up about? yeah, add this kit to that list.

listen it’s not awful. it’s not ugly, it’s not an eyesore. at the very least, it’s classic united. but it’s just so! bloody! dull! i’m literally falling asleep looking at it. it’s a t-shirt. its literally just a t-shirt. the problem is they set the bar too high last year, with that beautiful pattern and beautiful shade of red. and now, in proper united style, we’re straight back to mediocrity.

let’s talk details. oh wait, they aren’t ANY. there is nothing to say about this kit because there is nothing going ON with this kit. i like the white stripes. that’s it. theres the ombré red at the bottom, which is like- it’s okay. problem is - there’s like four too many shades of red on this shirt, and none of them are that nice. it needs a pattern or something! a pop! a little pizzazz! not a fan of the curved back panel, but it does look a whole lot better than arsenal’s at least.

this is absolutely nothing groundbreaking but it’s fine. it’s just so fucking plain. i know my girls will still serve in it, but i hoped for more. of course, in true united fashion: it’s the hope that kills you - 6/10

7. Chelsea

the tagline for this release is 'we burn blue', because 'the hottest part of the flame burns blue'. congrats on passing year seven chemistry guys. anyway, with that in mind, this kit is, naturally of course, patterned with a mystery blue LIQUID. im not seeing flames in any part of this kit. literally how is this meant to look like fire. this tagline is pure bollocks. it literally could not look more like water if it tried. aka, the opposite of fire.

the kit itself, i'm honestly struggling to form an opinion. i dont think i hate it, but i dont love it either. it may have been easier to figure out if i could actually SEE the kit in any of the release photos, instead of some stupid fucking slow motion blur effect. this pic makes mayra look like she's undergoing mitosis. poor girl's been through enough. it says a lot that in your official kit release you're actively preventing me from looking at the kit.

its not awful? i'm not a fan of these kind of realistic graphics on kits, just makes it look fake and cheap, but like, idk its kinda cool ig. the more i look the more i'm down with it. the colours are nice. its shiny. i'm glad we've gone for originality at least. patterns are fun. - 7.5/10

8. Brighton

i missed this release bc i saw the pictures and genuinely did not realise it was a different kit oops. i do feel bad for clubs who have committed to a striped kit because honestly there’s not really many ways you can play with that. but also that’s kind of their own fault. there’s really not much you can say about this. the sleeves are white this time… okay… there’s a faint pinstripe down each stripe… okayyy… yep that’s kind of it really.

it’s clean, it’s classic brighton, it’s a decent kit. there’s just genuinely nothing new about this. it’s fine. they just clearly couldn’t be bothered and i respect that. - 6/10

9. West Ham

okay we’re doing turtlenecks now apparently!! interesting choice!! i think it kinda looks fuckass silly but also i kind of like it actually. bit of fun innit. good stripes.

the rest of the kit is pretty mid. plainer than a toast sandwich. except for the sleeves! because this year, not only are they bringing in turtlenecks, west ham have decided to also bring in milkmaid sleeves! why is it like that? like is it just a weird bad fit or have they put a fucking elasticated band on? who’s idea was that? what is going on! also am i having a stroke or has the badge changed colour. because it looks fucking hideous. what did they do that for.

i do love the fact they did this shoot in a pub though. very funny. and the kit isn’t too bad. i like the stripes - 6/10

10. Leicester

this is the plainest most boring kit i have ever seen with my own two eyes. that is literally all i can say about this. boring. much like the city of leicester itself.

however - the women have a different kit sponsor to the men and i respect that so you can have one bonus point - 4/10

11. Everton

i’ll be totally honest - i wasn’t expecting everton to give me like the best kit of the bunch. this is the kit for me. i like this one a lot. castore may be mega shit quality but at least they don’t just copy paste all their kits.

i fucking love the pattern here. it’s subtle but it’s nice! and it’s different! we’re not doing any mad shit like chelsea, we’re not doing absolutely nothing at all like leicester. the perfect middle ground of the blue kits. the sponsor is hideous but i’m ignoring that. this is just lovely to look at. stylish, sleek. it’s giving high quality bus seats. this is no stagecoach, this is private hire only. i just love it. and then to top it all off, just the perfect amount of collar detailing. i would be a happy toffee if i was wearing this. gorgeous. loses half a point because the badge fell off during the game which is hysterical.- 9.5/10

12. Aston Villa

this is just the west ham kit if west ham were normal. it’s nothing to write home about, but i do like it. i like the block sleeves and the stripe colour. i like the subtle stripes down the side. i like the simplicity. i like the collar stripes. i even like the flat badge. also i’m assuming this is a betting sponsor which sucks but i do have to say that the sponsor looks great with this kit. it blends in, which is rare. this is a clean, classic kit, and i’m glad that at least one team could be normal. i don’t like that there’s pretty much nothing i can make fun of here. unfortunate for me, good for villa. good job - 8/10

note - all this was written as soon as each club released their kit, so some of my opinions have changed, and a lot have grown on me (looking at you united), but i’ve left the review untouched so you can get purely my honest first impression.

away, third and goalkeeper ratings are currently in progress so expect them once they've all been released! these posts literally never get any notes but i absolutely love doing them so i'm doing it anyway, but if you did wanna encourage me with some nice comments that wouldn't go amiss ;) xx

[darling-i-read-it]

Babysitter

Dandy Mott x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: dandy being dandy, straight up murder, descriptions of a womans dead body, gloria is trying to like sell dandy to women

Author’s Note: i do not know how to feel about this but dandy is still crazy adn sometimes that calls for a weirdly sectioned fic  

Requested: by anon, Hey! Your Dandy Mott fics are absolutely scrumptious and I can’t think of anyone better to hand over this idea to. I was thinking Gloria hires Reader as a personal nurse/kinda nanny for Dandy to get him used to being close to ladies his own age but it totally backfires on her cause Dandy gets interested in Reader and throws huge tantrums when his mom tries to get him to pay attention to other (rich) women

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

You really needed a job. The summer had started and now that you were out of school there was no excuse for you to be lingering around without a reasonable way to spend your time. You had scoured the town for help wanted signs, dropped off your resumes at every available desk and even visited the local circus to see if they needed someone to hand out tickets. 

Some places answered. 

None of the places were as interesting as Gloria Mott’s phone call. You hadn’t even been by her house, had no actual idea that she was attempting to hire. You had heard the horror stories of the Mott’s. Dandy had walked around town and caused ruckus but you had never actually met him. 

Gloria’s phone call was high pitched and concerned. 

“A babysitter? I’m sorry Miss. Mott, I was under the impression that Dandy was around my age.” 

“Oh yes, he is! He’s just…a little stunted. In the most affectionate way possible! I would like someone his age to get to know him, get used to the idea of regular people.” 

She said regular people like it was a slur. You had no idea what kind of abnormal people she was speaking about or if she was directly talking about Dandy. Regardless, she was willing to pay far too much money for you to just hang out with Dandy. You had babysat before, granted, no one close to your age. 

It was between that or stocking shelves at the general store for below minimum wage. 

That was how you arrived at the doorstep of a large house. You knocked on the door nervously, unsure what to expect. You teetered back and forth on your feet, peeking through the side window that had the curtains drawn. You jumped when the front door opened. 

A woman answered the door wearing an apron. She had a disgusted look on her twisted face. 

“You’re the new help?” she questioned. 

“I…I guess so.” She didn’t move aside. 

“I’m Dora Brown. Welcome to the freak show.” She finally backed up. “I’m the maid here. Gloria said you were here to babysit Dandy?”

“Yeah, I suppose. Though isn’t Dandy my age? Gloria didn’t really specify what my duties here would be.” 

“Dandy’s behavior is obnoxious and unreasonable. He’s a spoiled brat who doesn’t know manners,” she seethed. You followed her through the house, trying not to be too amazed at the decor. You hadn’t realized how rich the Mott’s really were. You couldn’t imagine having this much money, enough to decorate the walls with unnecessary pastels. 

“So I’m here to make sure he doesn’t act out?”

“I think you’re here to get him used to other people.” She stopped in front of a door. “Good luck with that.” Her tone of voice was not reassuring. She left you there, walking back down the long hallway with no instructions. You looked at the door, unsure what you were going to find behind it. You wondered if this was worth the money. Dora didn’t seem exactly happy. But who was happy at work? 

You knocked on the door. 

It swang open without much of a delay. Behind it was Gloria, her face pinched into a forced content look. 

“Oh good! You’re here.” She moved aside and took your bag from you. “Dandy’s just in his room. If you could just make friends with him.” Her instructions remained vague and you didn’t think you were going to get anything else from her even if you pried. You cleared your throat. 

“Why can’t Dandy make friends-”

“You’ll see dear, you’ll see.” She was ushering you towards the door at the end of the room. You suddenly felt unsafe; like she was leading you to slaughter. You had no room to protest because suddenly the door was open and you were being shoved inside. 

The door shut harshly behind you. 

It was like a children’s play room but enlarged. Toy horses the size of real ones were at the corners of the room. There was a bike and a chandelier. You looked around, absorbing everything rather slow, when your eyes finally landed on Dandy. He was sitting at the front of the room, in front of what looked like a puppet show stage. He stood up when the door shut behind you. 

“You’re the girl my mother is paying to watch me?” he questioned. His tone was closer to singing than speaking. You cleared your throat and nodded. You had never seen Dandy in person, only heard the rumors. He was your age. Handsome, if it weren’t for the childish scowl on his face. 

“Hi Dandy,” you breathed. “I’m Y/N.” You straightened your back. You had to do what you were paid here to do. 

“Y/N.” He played your name on his tongue. He said it again, whispering it and then saying it loudly. “Like a toy.” 

“Sure. Like a toy.” You approached him, still looking around the room. “How are you today?” 

“Fine. You shouldn’t have to be here. My mother thinks I’m still a child.” He sauntered over to you, landing just in front of you. He observed it curiously, like you were nothing but an object. He put his hand on your arm, brushing down it, like you were made of practice. 

“You’re not a child,” you told him. “That’s ridiculous.” 

“Right?” 

You nodded once. 

“What do you like to do, Dandy? This room is pretty magnificent. I can’t imagine you getting bored.” 

“I’m so bored,” he promised you. “All the time.” He gestured to everything. “My mother doesn’t like it when I speak about the circus or the clowns. I want to go to the circus Y/N.” You furrowed your brows. 

“I haven’t heard much about the circus. What goes on there that’s so exciting?” You sat down on the round green couch in the center of the room. He turned to look at you, eyes wide. 

“You haven’t heard?” You shook your head, a small smile on your face. 

“No I haven’t.” He sat down beside you, words starting to tumble out of his mouth. He liked to hear himself talk and it was easy to get him going. 

-

You weren’t quite sure what Gloria and Dora were going on about. Sure, Dandy was high maintenance. But he loved hanging out with you. He was a clingy mess, the second you allowed him to speak to you he never wanted you to leave. Multiple nights he insisted on you spending the night. You got used to him fairly quickly and had no issues getting paid to spend time with him. 

Frankly, after a while, you grew to enjoy your time with Dandy. Having someone fawn over you endlessly and obsess over your every move was more enjoyable than anyone else gave him credit for. He had no interest in the circus after a while. Why would he, when he had you?

You got him fun trinkets from there when you passed by, pictures of the abnormalities he would go on and on about. He kept them on the wall and in the corner, a shrine to your presents. 

Dandy was napping. He had to nap once a day, like a child, otherwise he would get cranky. Typically you read in the same room as him so he wasn’t surprised when he woke up without you. Dora liked to call you ‘Dandy’s favorite teddy bear’. 

You had curled up beside him, holding the book open with two fingers. Gloria opened the door slowly, not wanting to wake him up. 

“Afternoon,” you whispered. Dandy grumbled at the noise but didn’t wake up. She gave you a curt, whimsical nod. 

“Tomorrow evening I’m having some ladies over. Your services won’t be needed.” You nodded once. 

“Are you sure? Are they friends of yours or-”

“Potential suitors for Dandy,” she explained. “It’s better if you’re not here to distract him. Though your services have been increasingly valuable,” she admitted. Her voice was wispy. You nodded slowly, glancing down at his sleeping figure. 

“No worries. Should I let him know?” She shook her head. 

“I’ll let him know,” she said. 

“Alright.” 

She stared at you for a moment, awkwardly, like she wanted to say something else but nothing else came out. You watched her, evenly, until she left the room. You weren't sure when you had started to hold the cards over Dandy but it felt like you had more sway than her. 

Dandy groaned. You brushed his hair out of his face and he nuzzled against your touch. 

He reached forward, grabbing at your leg. You hummed and he put his head in your lap. You hummed till he fell back asleep. 

-

It was odd not going to the Mott’s the next day. You wondered how Dandy was handling it. You spent the day pursuing the shops in town, finally having the money to spend. When you arrived back home your phone was ringing. You set down your bags and removed your sunglasses before picking it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh thank goodness.” You recognized Gloria’s phone voice. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for an hour. Where on Earth were you?”

“I was out, I thought I had this afternoon off,” you said. “Is everything alright?” You asked the question, despite being able to hear the ruckus in the background. There was a crash and a yelp from Gloria. You heard some muffled calling from Dora. Then an exasperated groan from Dandy. 

“No! No, everything is not alright! Please come over!” It briefly occurred to you to ask for more money. Clearly your services were needed and Gloria’s pockets weren't exactly hurting. Instead you heard another annoyed groan from Dandy and nodded. 

“I’m leaving right now.” 

-

When you arrived you could hear the chaos from outside. Glasses shattering, plates breaking, screaming from an annoyed mother. You didn’t bother knocking, instead you just used your key and let yourself inside. 

You followed the noises to the dining room. 

“I don’t like those ladies' mothers! I don’t want those women, those foul overpriced women!” Dandy explained loudly. “I want Y/N!” 

“Y/N is not a- stop throwing things!” Gloria’s strained voice exclaimed. You pushed open the door. There was glass shattered on the ground and beside it, a dead woman. She had a singular gunshot wound in her forehead. Her lips were still open, drool escaping her lifeless mouth. Your eyes floated around. 

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Gloria exclaimed. “Dora will come clean this up. Please, please, just deal with him-” 

Dandy ran over to you, throwing his arms around you. Your receptive actions were halted for a moment, as you took in the events in front of you. 

“What happened?” you asked him as he held him against you. 

“My mother tried to have me marry a different woman,” he seethed. “Doesn’t she know we’re supposed to be married?” Your eyes opened wide. You couldn’t exactly deny your connection to Dandy but neither of you had talked about anything exactly romantic. 

“Oh Dandy,” you whispered. You brushed his hair out of his face. “Did you do this?”

“She wouldn’t leave me alone,” he explained, looking at the dead woman. She was older than him. Much older. Closer to Gloria’s age and status. You narrowed your gaze at her. Dandy was easy to annoy but he was worse when he was uncomfortable. 

“I assure you, she was just being friendly,” Gloria said absentmindedly. You watched as she left the room to find Dora. You wondered if this unnamed woman’s death would be talked about at all, or if they would sweep it under the rug like everything else Dandy does. 

“I didn’t like her,” Dandy whined. You nodded. He was still holding onto your arms, his grip tightening. You nodded once. 

“That’s alright,” you whispered. “Let’s go get some air.” You dragged one of your hands down to his hand. You gripped it, lightly dragging him out of the room. He watched the unmoving woman as he walked. You led him through the front door and to the courtyard. It was empty of any other staff. You were grateful to be alone. 

“I want to go out,” he muttered. “I don’t want to be here.” 

“We can go somewhere else. Where would you like to go?” 

“I don’t care,” he admitted. His hand remained in yours. He looked down at it, observing the intertwined fingers. He hummed, flexing his fingers in and out. “This is nice.” 

“I’m sorry your mother tried to set you up with that other lady,” you whispered. He shook his head. Just the reminder of her made him upset. He had disposed of her and now would need no other reason to think of her. 

“She’s gone now,” he told you. He said it like it was a promise, as though he had done it to protect you. “Where were you?” 

“Your mother said you were having friends over. She said I didn’t need to come by.” 

“You always need to come by,” he insisted. He raised his head and let go of your hand. “You’re not like mother or Dora. You listen when I speak,” he said, head straight. You gave him a gentle smile and he gave you one back. 

You gestured down the courtyard. 

“Should we take a walk?” He thought about it for a moment and then offered his arm. You wrapped your arm through his. He leaned against you and used you as a crutch. You wondered if you were going to get a phone call from Gloria, complaining about where Dandy was. She might even try to fire you, hire a new ‘nanny’ for Dandy, and try and set him right again. 

“Do you think we could stop at the circus?” he questioned, voice suggestive. You both knew you weren’t supposed to go there. 

“That’s a long walk.”

“We can take one of my cars.” He paused. “I have many.” You nodded slowly. 

“Do you have the keys?” His lips turned up into a mischievous smile. 

“I may.”

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Rating BG3 Ladies Stroke Game

My brain won't let me write my fics so have this shit instead.

Ratings based on vibes and also facts opinions (controversial: not everyone can be a sex god)

all the main and supporting women + my background babes: Florrick, Talli, Alfira, Lakrissa, Araj, Nocturne, Skoona, Adrielle, Z'rell, (ETA:) Nine-Fingers, and special guest star Philomeen

*Anyone can be trans and straps are for everyone regardless, so take your pic on homegrown vs store-bought and/or magical strap*

*Also sex is like pizza, so average results are in fact still pretty good. Only 2, 1, and 0/10 are truly trash dick. So a 5 or 6 is still a compliment!*

Lae'zel: 10/10. She pulls hair, she spanks ass. She has the experience, the athleticism, the drive, the romantic heart. Also the greatest switch to ever live as a simultaneous 10/10 bottom.

Shadowheart: 5/10. Her experience is mostly hand/mouth activities due to lack of privacy/places to hide supplies or apparati in the cloister. She has better ways of making a lover fall apart, but her stroke game is perfectly serviceable.

Karlach: 6/10. LISTEN. I see the vision as a tongue god, but she needs some work to hone her stroke game (too eager = painful, and a possible classic Bigger Is Always Better fallacy waiting to happen), and like SH, she's also not very experienced. She can and will ascend the ranks, but give her a minute to get there!!

Minthara: 10/10. We all know this. She has like 200 years of experience as well as the drive, focus, precision, athleticism, and heart. She gets RESULTS, but also is surprisingly emotionally available, so she covers all the physical, emotional, and psychological bases.

Jaheira: 4/10. Not her favorite, or her forte. CAN she strap? Yes, and it's satisfying, but nothing to write home about. A queen of the accessibility strap (thigh/hand harness GOATed... iykyk) due to her knees/lumbar hurting.

Isobel: 5/10. Perfectly serviceable, likes to tease, knows the technique and executes it well. However, being 5'2" with lung issues holds her back when it comes to higher intensity activities. Also an accessibility harness queen.

Aylin: 12/10. Has been at it since before anyone else on this list was even born. Once she connects emotionally to her partner, there's no going back to anyone else. Perfect balance of brutality and gentleness; she knows how to use her weight, and her aftercare is literal god tier.

Mizora: 0/10. Would probably be pretty good if she deigned to do it, but let's be so for real, pup!

Orin: ??/10. Either a 0 or a 10, no inbetween. A freak bitch for the daring sort who are willing to gamble on what she meant when she said she wanted to 'get all up in your guts'.

Florrick: 3/10. A perfect example of how a dominant personality doesn't always translate to an ability to top. Will do it, but focuses too much on technique and zones out and starts thinking about work. Definitely would rather be on the bottom being ridden VS putting the stroke effort in herself.

Talli: 7/10. A humble, ego-free, service top for all who enjoy a gentler lover. Hesitant to get too rough or nasty with it; she's got that +3 STR and she knows how to use it, but she doesn't want to hurt or disrespect her sweetie!

Alfira: 1/10. Sweet Alfie has many good and sexy qualities but she is never taking anyone to pound town ever. She will do it, and it might be fun and playful, but never "good" by any objective measure. Absolute demon on a slower, more sensual grind, but anything approaching "stroke game"? You're barking up the wrong tree.

Lakrissa: 10/10. Technically an 8 but gets 2 bonus points for being a random girl off the streets and not an alien, centuries-old elf, or demigod. Great dick does walk among us mortals!! She's athletic, she's flirty, she's fun, she's a known giver. She will work extra shifts at her bitch ass job to buy you a house, she will smash you through the floor of said house, she will fix the floor. The total package!

Araj: 4/10. Wears some kind of weird strap regardless of her own equipment because she loves the flair and drama of it, but isn't particularly skilled. Gets distracted. Bad top etiquette. Never shuts up. Still, she gets the job done.

Nocturne: 6/10. Like Shadowheart, her experience is limited by the lack of opportunity in the cloister; but as quartermaster, she would have a greater ability to obtain and hide supplies/equipment, so potentially more experience. Also, maybe as an officer, she was involved in more prestigious orgies?

Skoona: 7/10. Would rather be on the bottom getting pampered, but is an above average top due to always being expected to top. Also a very tender lover (not necessarily "stroke game").

Adrielle: 8/10. She has no choice but to break backs because otherwise, the weight of expectations she places on her own shoulders would break hers. Meticulous. Thorough. Is she enjoying herself? She doesn't know the meaning of the word, but being of service makes her feel whole, and that's what matters, RIGHT?

Z'rell: You Can't Handle It/10. Don't worry about it, maggot. It's not for YOU.

Nine-Fingers: 10/10. Your fingers will quake such that you sign over the deed to your house in her name and you won't even be mad about it. She knows how to work People- what makes them tick. What makes them BOOM. An unforgettable experience.

Philomeen: 20/10. It's the toxicity, I fear. If she can and will blow you up, she can and will blow your back out. It's science. It doesn't matter if she's 1/3 your size, she is FUCKING. You WILL hate yourself after.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

“have a little trust in yourself, i know you can take it.”

for aegon, obviously 🥹🥹🥹 i’m just obsessed with this man. i just want him to talk her through it ksjshs

Aegon ii SMUT Prompt #2

pairing: Aegon ii Targaryen x wife!fem!Reader

warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, p in v sex, size kink (?), swearing, NSFW.

a/n - apologies I was slowly starting to doze off writing this, so forgive me if there are mistakes, I will come back to them to edit!

smut prompts - for Aegon ii | Aemond

Upon hearing of your haste betrothal to Prince Aegon, the Second of his Name, you were fuelled with twisted emotions of both excitement and fear. Many ladies and men of the court had much to say about your husband to be, the good, the bad and the ugly, especially the young maidens…

“The Prince is known for his peculiar tastes and insatiable drive to fuck.”

“He’ll fuck anyone that has a nice pair of tits or an eager cunt...Or both, if he pleases.”

“Apparently so, the Prince’s cock is said to be twice as thick as that of an average man…”

Nonetheless, all the ceaseless babbling and ramblings of your betrothed sent your mind into a frenzy. Right up until the last minute, you were desperately trying to milk every fine detail of Aegon and his sexual proclivities, from the young maidens of court. Anticipating the truth…

The wedding a success, not a single flaw or adversity faced. The plans and effort that went into the royal wedding went accordingly, almost as if it was destined to be… You’d spoken to Aegon briefly in fleeting moments where you found yourselves immersed in each other’s company, and much to your surprise [and relief], he seemed rather withdrawn and reserved. Still polite, he openly would refer to you as his “wife”, held your hand without hesitation and even went so far as to initiate kisses. All publicly of course, for since the day has began, you’d both been the centre of attention. That was until the night of consummation was upon you.

Aegon decreed that no witnesses be present during the act itself, it seemed he did not think an audience necessary, and many entrusted that he would certainly get the job done. This only worried you once more, until your maidens that had prepped you for the night would reassure you otherwise.

Regardless, the moment Aegon had stepped in following you from the celebratory feast, confidence mindlessly oozing from his stride, his fave remained stoic and yet his eyes lusting over the sheer material that draped and cloaked your body.

You wouldn’t have been surprised if he could just feel the nerves palpating from your body. After all, you were a maiden as expected… However, he did not seem phased by the night at all, nor that he was hesitant in stripping himself naked just before hist waist [keeping his pantaloons on, yet undone], and ripping apart your nightly gown.

You could make out a fairly large bulge beneath the restricting material of his pants between his thighs. The shape and the mould of it, recognisable, it looked painfully big and dense.

As if he’d caught you in the act of perving at his hardened cock, a smirk brewed across his handsome face, as he teasingly questioned, “Like what you see?”

[Indeed you did]

No words could fathom in your mind, nor could your mouth coordinate to speak. Instead, you exchanged a shy, meek nod of your head, as he gently laid you down on the smooth, silk linen sprawled across the plush bed.

“Such a good girl for me. My pretty wife, already so obedient for me. Seven Hells, have the Gods blessed me abundantly with you.”

Pulling his pants down low enough, his thick, solid cock plunges out, bursting with excitement at the sheer thought of fucking you. Hard undoubtedly, as he presses it down against the low, soft pit of your stomach, oozing pre-cum at its throbbing tip, as he gently polishes it over your skin, now glistening in the dim light.

Although, sparing a few seconds to gaze upon his cock, you notice just how thick and girthy it is. Your body and heart aches for it to be thrusted and shoved inside of you, a dull ache brewing intently in your sweet spot between your thighs. However, your mind pondered over the great certainty that this will hurt, and the pain would be agonising, and it seemed your face did not mask the fear well enough…

“Have a little trust in yourself, I know you can take it.”

Caressing your tender, worrisome face with his rough hand, gliding a misplaced strand of hair away from your face, a wave of reassurance washed over. And again, you nod graciously to his words. Seeing how tender and effortless Aegon was at making you feel this way, you felt the urge to sate him, to please him, to fulfill the duty as his wife, as best as possible.

“Spread your legs a little more, baby. You need to make room for me- That’s it baby, such a good fucking girl- Take a few deep breaths for me, just relax-”

Within a few short seconds, the wet tip that was just teasingly stroking over the entrance of your folds, find it’s sharp way piercing through, stretching your tight, tight walls beyond relief for a few, solid minutes. You could feel his cock, hitting at your cervix, igniting a lightning bolt to coarse rapidly throughout the fibres of your entire being.

The moan that escaped Aegon’s mouth was one of pleasure, whereas yours was shriek of pain, yet you craved for more. Feeling himself burying his hard, thick cock deeper between your stretched out walls, his thrusts pacing slow and steady as he allowed you to adjust to his size.

“Fuck that feels so, so good. This pretty, little cunt was made just for me baby- I’m going to ruin you bit by bit.”

The breathing became more dense and heavy, slowly syncing with one another, the sweat beginning to emit from your skin. Bare bodies colliding rhythmically with each other, you felt your insides burning with discomfort and lust.

“Buck your hips forward baby, like this-”

Swiftly, as he steadied himself on his knees, his hands firmly gripped your waist, mindlessly manhandling you as he repositioned your hips, presumably teaching you for next time.

“Ughhh- That’s it, baby- Stay like this for me- Now moan for your husband, say my fucking name for the realm to hear… Let them know exactly who you belong to now and for eternity.”

[maomaop]

Finished KnH vol10 !

This was definitely one of my favs?? It felt so long and complete, I loved the pacing and how it was structured.

Characters like Rikuson, Basen, Lihaku, Chue, Tianyu and Lahan’s brother (god knows if we will ever discover his name.. what a shame!) getting more spotlight was really amazing I really enjoyed seeing their dynamic together, I hope we will get even more of it in the future!!

Basen

Basen getting his character development arc thanks to ducks was unexpected but definitely NEEDED! His bond with ducks and mostly Jofu was hilarious and really unserious but it fits him so much😭

The little meetings between Lishu and Basen were adorable, I love the route the author is taking for their relationship. They desperately want to be around eachother it really couldn’t be more obvious!! Thats how soulmates are, however they both decided to continue going their separate ways for now in order to become the better version of themselves. They need to grow up, mature, and gain experience and work on themselves for their distinctive reasons. Hopefully by then Lishu will be over the age of 18 and things will work out between them.

I still have to talk about our stubborn man Basen, I appreciated reading the insights of his mind, getting to know more about how he sees some things from his perspective along with his takes on them. He thinks he has nothing really valuable about him outside of his brute strength but he’s much more than just a strong soldier to me. Regardless of his stubbornness he’s a very loyal and determined man, he stays true to himself while still getting the job done neatly and proudly because he has full trust in his superior.

Moving on to MISS CHUE!

I had to make this extravagant for her

Where do I start..? She’s SO likeable, there’s so much things to love about her

As Maomao said she’s VERY characterful, and I must say its true that she doesn’t look like a married woman with child in the slightest!! She’s very unique and silly, her presence during this volume made things so much more enjoyable to me. She stands on business while keeping her silly side (except when her mother in law glare at her…) She’s smart, quick witted and have a wonderful personality? ALL IN ONE nobody does it like her

She’s just in her own world, and I absolutely LOVED how she handled things with Maomao from the beginning to the end. Their dynamic was to die for, I remember Maomao being weirded out by her in vol9 but I knew she’d get along just very well with her she just needed to give it some time, I CALLED IT!

Chue being married to Baryou is absolutely insane to me, I mean just finding out Baryou was a married man was shocking but imagine my reaction when I found out Chue of all people was his wife? They are polar opposites and this is why Im in desperate need to know more about their relationship… Chue keep talking about hanky panky with him and I just can’t picture that at all..? Maybe Baryou do have that dawg in him after all regardless of his social anxiety heh

In conclusion Chue is hilarious and easily one of my fav characters of this volume, thank you miss chue for making this volume an unforgettable and unique reading experience for me!

Now its PLOT TIME

This volume was really an exceptional one, its just the beginning of the western capital saga but the result of the set up that has been happening for the last two volumes is perfect.

I’m a sucker for the lore of the windreaders and the whole thing revolving around politics: The empress regnant, the Yi clan and their connection to the windreaders along with them committing subterfuge with Shaoh. The ritual to prevent plagues involves domesticated birds, Shaoh being involved in this whole thing just couldn’t prevent me from linking it to the white lady. I talked about it here in details, this is all very suspicious but EXCITING!!! Gyoku-ou is clearly the one pulling the strings behind this chaos and scheming things in the absence of his father. I talked about it already here while reading the volume and the latest chapters just justified my doubts.

Chapter 8 was one of my favorites, Nianzhen’s story was very dark and sad, it lead us into thinking him and his tribe annihilated the whole windreaders tribe but it turned out to not be true after the CRAZY informations they gathered thanks to Kulumu in chapter 13 (which btw was also one of my fav chapters), everything and everyone seem to be somehow connected.

Jinshi being used by the shameless Gyoku-ou, and Gyokuyou being toyed with… I’ll start reading part1 of vol11 but like Gyokuyou said in the epilogue her fight is just getting started so we’re in for s long ride !

[majaloveschris]

That pic is cute but all I can see is when Chris wants to sell something he can, meaning, if people are questioning if his marriage and relationship are real yet we clearly can see he still shows affection to others while unknowingly being filmed, yet he struggles to do that with, the woman with the disappearing ring, when he’s being filmed knowingly and unknowingly, then there’s your truth people. 😎

Remember the park video when he wasn’t aware he was being recorded and his hand went in his pocket as she reached for it once she saw the lady filming them.

Remember the VF video of him seeing the camera and then pretending to be affectionate towards her.

Remember the VF video of him not knowing he’s being filmed and eyeing other women and then noticing the camera and trying to play it off.

Now we seem to have partially returned to the Chris we all came to know and love or he’s just relaxed as he’s in his element. But my thoughts are running rampant so…..let’s discuss.

If Chris was actually in this based on love and not some Hollywood pr, there’d be no questioning anything at least not to the extent it’s gone. There’d be no major plot holes. 🤭

If Chris was cool with said person in some Hollywood PR stunt, maybe things would be done more naturally like ….*cough* Taylor Swift and Travis. (Believe what ya want but I think they are PR and doing a damn good job of it) #TeamTT ❤️ 😂

Now back to Chris….if Chris was against this or the person involved regardless if he initially signed up for it or not, he would probably drag his feet if he couldn’t end things and boy would you lookie there, he’s been dragging his feet like hell even after claiming to be “married”. Meaning if Chris wanted us to believe this were legit, we wouldn’t be here discussing their bs over the past three years.

Imagine being a celeb and KNOWING people are online questioning you and your spouse’s marriage. If he truly loved or gave a damn about her, He’d have shut that down quick.

This is why I don’t bother arguing because in due time this is going to end, he’ll move on and once he’s in an actual relationship, the ones who currently think this is “real” will clearly see the stark contrast between Chris Evans in love vs Chris Evans in some Hollywood bullshit. I rest my case. 👩‍⚖️

They made a red carpet debut and all most could do was laugh. This fandom still rides for this man even when they are mad at him. Yes, this situation is stupid but man the jokes, the pure shade, the letting this girl know we aren’t buying what she’s tried and miserably failed to sell is Icing on the flipping cake!

👏

Also…..the flag mixup will never NOT be funny. 😂 GO LIBERIA!!!! 🇱🇷

Of course, he could sell this whole thing if he wanted to, but he just doesn't want to.

That park video says more than a thousand words. The fact that he didn't want to hold her hands and put his into his pockets when he thought no one was watching says a lot. They do everything for the camera. They are always trying to be sweet and all of that, but they can't keep up the act for so long, which we could see on the VF red carpet. Yeah, they tried playing the happy newlyweds when the camera was watching, when most of the time they were just standing next to each other and talking to other people.

As you said, there are a lot of plotholes. And I know people must be tired of me always bringing the wedding ceremony's location up, but that's my favorite example. Where was it? In Cape Cod? In his Boston-area home? Were the ceremony and party at two different locations? Different outlets mention different places and locations when this should be the easiest one to get, especially since these are all coming from "sources." The same goes for everyone who was at the wedding. Nobody saw them during that one year, yet now everybody is spotting them. Why are they saying they are private when they are putting out video dumps, are at different award shows, and call the paps on themselves?

I think most of the time, when it comes to celebrity couples, especially if one of them is not that well-known, the thought of them being PR is always there, and there will always be people who think certain couples are PR. I'm sure there were couples who were solely PR, and people didn't even figure it out because they were good at selling it. Maybe because they were comfortable around each other, and even if they weren't in love, they liked each other as people or even as friends. However, to me, their fake relationship lacks everything that would make it believable. I don't really think Chris thought this through, and I don't think he is capable of selling a relationship with someone he doesn't have feelings for. I don't necessarily mean "love" (in love with someone) here, but just love (liking the person as a friend, respecting them, wanting to be around them).

[writingsbyzuzu]

high enough.

four- the end of beginning

notes: harini welcomes you with open arms. ethan isn't taking the transition very well

you finally meet the last few key players of the story ;)

warnings: alcohol consumption, minor angst

“So what changed your mind?”

You and Harini are cruising down the freeway, heading to her home. 

“She ate a strawberry.” She scrunches her face up in confusion.

“I’m sorry?”

“Ethan isn’t the biggest fan of strawberries for breakfast. But he gets them every morning when his chef makes eggs. Because I eat strawberries. And he knew I don’t eat breakfast. So he gets something he knew I would take, knowing he didn’t want them.” You look out at the road, the Los Angeles spots blurring past you.

“And she ate one of your strawberries? And that was enough? I have to say, that isn’t quite the catalyst I expected.”

You turn back to her. “It wasn’t just that.”

“He told her my line.”

“Your line?”

“At practice. Every day, I get Ethan something to drink. And nearly every time he says this stupid line. ‘When I get to the pearly gates, I hope the first thing I hear is you telling me you got me my drink’.”

Harini scoffs at this. “That’s so weird and corny.” She turns, pulling the car off of the freeway. 

“Whatever. It’s special to us. He never says it to anyone else, just a thank you. But he said it to her. I fucking heard him. When his manager and I came in to debrief him. She was laughing, tossing back that ridiculously long blonde hair, and she said something, so he grabbed it and smiled at her, and then he just said it.”

Harini lets out a groan of disgust. “What a fucking pig.” She zooms through the streets of her fancy neighborhood, the mansions huge, towering over the two of you and her tiny convertible.

Sure, Ethan lived in a mansion, but this was a different tax bracket altogether. These were the absolute stars of Hollywood. You think of all your favorite movie stars and musicians, who no doubt lived in this neighborhood, or at least in one nearby. 

She sees you looking away, so she continues to speak.

“Well. I’m glad you decided to join me. I promise, you’ll have a good time. I don’t have any plans to backstab you. I mean, you’ll definitely have more eyes on you, but you have more job security. Just don’t spill my secrets,” she jokes. You shake your head, turning back to her. “I wouldn’t fucking dare.”

The two of you share a glance and a smile, before pulling up to her house. You see your car and Annie’s parked in the extensively large driveway, along with a shiny chrome Jeep you assume is Damon’s.

You observe Harini and Damon’s (and now technically, yours and Annie’s) home. “Holy shit,” is all you manage to say.

“Welcome home,” she grins. The two of you step out of the car, walking on the gravel to the front door. The front door swings open and Damon steps out, arms wide spread. “Welcome home, ladies!” he cheers. “Annie and I managed to move everything inside, you just have to decide what room you want and move your stuff into it. I’ll help.”

So far, you didn’t regret a single thing.

It only hits you hours later, when your stuff is perfectly adjusted in your new room, and you’re on a sofa with the three of them that it really begins to hit you, smack dab in the middle of a Star Wars marathon.

“Oh my fucking, it’s over. I can’t believe I did that, he was so sad, he begged me, Annie, he begged,” you sob. Annie wraps her arms around you, rubbing your back. “You needed to do it. Look what you’ve done for yourself, for me, for us. You deserved better. You were played for a fool. And now you got us a wonderful opportunity. Sure, it could have been handled better, but he could have too, with that fucking girlfriend..”

You let out a wail at the mention of Lizzy, and Harini goes to also rub your back.

Damon turns down the movie, before opening his mouth to speak. “Look, I’m sure he cared about you at some point. But no matter how much he does or doesn’t care about you, you deserved better from a job. Regardless if he ever loved you back. We’re grateful you accepted Rini’s offer. You’re going to be treated better, and we’re happy to have this be your home.”

You smile weakly at the words.

“There she is,” he grins. 

The last movie of the night is rolling its credits. You and Annie are slumped on the couch asleep, your head on Annie’s shoulder, Annie’s on top of yours. Harini puts a blanket on the two of you, before returning to her seat next to Damon. 

Damon has instagram open, scrolling through a comment section. “My comments are blowing up, since you stole Nestor’s precious Trouble, apparently. Like she can’t think for herself or something. They’re asking me to return her like she’s a toy I stole at the playground or something.” 

They both laugh at the ridiculousness of the thought. 

Damon sees Ethan posted on his Instagram story, and hesitates, before he taps to see it. There was a video of Ethan ruthlessly beating down a sandbag, with the caption “anyways, back to what’s important”.

“Jesus,” Harini whispers, watching with a look of concern.

Damon eyes her, then yours and Annie’s sleeping figures. “It’s like I said at the mall. The man only has one weakness. When you take a man’s weakness, he either crumples, or he’s invincible. You just made Ethan Nestor the most angry and solid man on the planet.”

He kisses Harini’s head, leaving her on the couch. “G’night baby.”

When you wake up the next morning on the couch, you immediately scramble to your feet, rushing upstairs to change. It was your first day, you couldn’t make Harini regret hiring you so soon. 

You change in a panic, putting on the usual “assistant’s clothes” Jerry had always insisted you wore. You had used it as your uniform for this long, why disrupt routine?

As you hop down the stairs, you rush into the kitchen. Damon is ruffling through the drawers. “Well, good morning to you!” he says cheerfully, pulling out a package of eggs. He motions you to sit at the table. “Sit down, ‘m making pancakes!” 

You raise an eyebrow. “You don’t want me to do that?” “You’re an assistant, not a private chef,” Damon jokes. You freeze at the statement. Harini comes in, in fluffy pink pajamas and slippers, waltzing over to Damon and giving him a small kiss.

You watch, your stomach hurting. You had always hoped, with Ethan… you scratch the thought.

Harini turns to you, and scans your outfit. “Babes, you don’t have to wear that if you don’t want to. Just wear your normal clothes. Unless those are your normal clothes,” she says, her nose crinkled. You look down at the button up blouse and trousers. “Really?” you ask. “My assistant needs to shine with her style. Not the corporate style. Go get changed.”

With that, you run back out the room and up the stairs, rushing to change into an outfit. As you’re putting on the last of your new outfit, there’s a knock at your door. Annie enters your room, looking slightly nervous. “What?” you ask her. “You haven’t checked your phone yet, have you?”

“No, I turned it off yesterday morning. Is it bad?” You turn fully towards her.

“Kind of,” she whispers. You motion for her to sit on the bed, so she does, and you join her. After your phone boots up, it almost immediately freezes, overwhelmed with notifications. 

“You’re trending on, well, any community sports related. Open TikTok.”

You do as she says, seeing she’s sent you a video. “Open it,” she tells you. 

It’s a fucking video of you. You click on it nervously.

“Who do you fucking think you are?” you hear yourself say, before it cuts to you jumping into Harini’s car and flipping him off, some trending song playing. It’s an edit. Of course people have edited you.

“Oh my god,” you whisper, rewatching it. “There’s a lot of those. A LOT. A lot of people think you’re really cool for sticking it to the man, a few people have thought you’ve betrayed him. A LOT of them think they just saw a breakup or something adjacent.”

“Yikes,” you whisper. You swipe out of direct messaging, but a video of Jerry is on your for you page. You groan, before Jerry begins to speak.

“Ethan regrets to inform fans that unfortunately, his assistant is no longer a part of his team from here on out, we are looking for a replacement. It’s clear from her incredibly immature response that Ethan believes this is what’s best for him and his career.”

You swipe out of TikTok and slam your phone onto your bedsheets. “That bastard. That fucking bastard,” you say, Annie nodding. “What a fucking dick! All the shit you’ve done for him, that meltdown he had and now he’s saying you leaving was the best thing for you?? Girl, fuck him.”

Your phone lights up again, as the rest of the notifications have been slowly trickling in, mainly new followers and mentions.

15 missed calls from: eth❤️‍🔥🥊

3 voicemails from:  eth❤️‍🔥🥊

30 messages from: eth❤️‍🔥🥊

“You’re fucking joking me,” you murmur. You unlock your phone and delete the notifications for the calls. You pause for a moment, before going to your voicemail and deleting them, without even a listen. You do the same to his messages, before finally opening his contact and changing it to simply ‘Ethan Nestor’.

You look at Annie, who’s looking back at you.

 “It’s a new day Annie. Let’s get to fucking work.”

“You need to get up,” Ethan hears.

He can feel the carpet of his bedroom against his face and neck, a drool puddle having formed where his mouth was. His head was pounding with dull pain, so he doesn’t move.

“Ethan.” God, does this woman ever shut up?, he thinks.

Lizzy nudges him with her foot. “You need to get up, loser. LIke now. Jerry is getting pissed, it’s 1 PM.” Ethan rolls over. “Jesus, you look like shit, and you smell like whisky,” Lizzy groans.

Ethan slowly sits up, rubbing his face slowly. He felt like shit, that was for certain. He turns to check his phone, but nothing from you. “She hasn’t called me back, Liz.”

“She’s not going to, dude. Not after you shot yourself in the foot like that. Now come downstairs, Jerry has to plan out more interviews for you so we can fix this.”

Ethan checks his phone last time, swiping to his messages. You had turned off your read receipts, because of course you did. He tucks his phone into his pocket, and with that, heads downstairs.

He wasn’t the largest fan of Lizzy. He wasn’t going to be a fan of any PR girlfriend, but Lizzy was brash and rude, and nothing like you. But at least she also didn’t want to be there. Having been fired from the big show she was on due to calling out a famous producer (who spun it around to say Lizzy was “difficult”), she needed good press. Up until yesterday afternoon, Ethan was good press. Minus the rumors he was railing his assistant. How he wished that were true. But even then, fans seemed receptive to the idea, considering the bond he and Trouble have had.

Jerry had begun to talk to him the minute he was within vision, but Ethan wasn’t listening for even a moment, his eyes glazing over. Lizzy leans over to Jerry. 

“You should give him the day off, I think he’s still drunk.” Jerry scoffs. “He’ll get over it.”

Those are the first words that cut through to Ethan. “No, I fucking won’t. Congrats, Jerry, you’ve ruined my personal life.”

“Ruined? Ruined your personal life? How? You have a girlfriend you can take out, and you’re about to fight in the highest league, you have a shot to be the world junior middleweight champion. And you’re out here threatening your life with the outbursts,” Jerry hisses.

Ethan points at Lizzy. “That’s a fake fucking girlfriend. Nothing about it is real. I love her, Jerry. And this stupid fucking plan of yours to make me look better has not only cost me her, has made me look like a dick in front of TMZ and the internet.”

“Yeah well, I fixed it, no thanks to you.”

“What?”

“I blamed her outburst on her not having the maturity to continue being your assistant.”

Ethan immediately turns around, marching up the stairs.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jerry shouts. Ethan screams back. “Taking the damn day off!”, storming back into his room and slamming his door shut.

“What would you want to do?” Harini asks. You and Annie are sitting on the floor of the recording studio an hour from the house, while she sits in a bright pink office chair. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate, Rini,” you say, taking a sip of water.

“Music, dancing, do you want to model?”

You nearly choke on the water, coughing furiously, before your throat clears up. “I thought I was being your assistant,” you whisper.

“You are,” Harini nods, “but I want to help you have your own stuff, too, both of you. You sat in the shadows of that man while you helped push his career, and I won’t let that happen to you again. I told you, I want you to shine like you deserve.”

You and Annie stare in shock at her. 

Then you bring yourself to finally speak. “Let’s do all of it.”

Ethan felt like a stalker as the week progressed. While you hadn’t posted anything on any of your pages, every trace of him had been wiped from every single page of yours. Pictures of the two of you together, gone, pictures of him, things he did for you, all gone. Like you had always been Harini’s assistant, instead. You had even deleted your own birthday party pictures, ones that didn’t even include him.

“Happy birthday, trouble,” he cheers, enveloping you into a hug. “Ethan, this cake is so pretty!” you croon. The heart shaped cake with blue icing sat on your apartment counter, the candles lit. “Make a wish,” he whispers to you, as your friends all pile around the two of you. You blow out the candles and beam at him. Ethan pulls out a small wrapped box. “For you, trouble.”

What a lifetime ago that had felt.

But Harini posted you a few times. So now he found himself checking Harini’s page regularly. Annie had blocked him after he announced Lizzy, so he never bothered checking her page.

Like today. There was a picture of you on Harini’s story, your hair done, your makeup fully done, and you were in a baby tee and jeans.

Who was this person? This wasn’t his trouble. It hits him that he didn’t really ever see you in normal clothes that often. And you usually only wore mascara. Who was this?

Jerry walks up to the bench, and Ethan quickly puts away his phone. Jerry looks him over and sighs. “Alright, you got a lot to do. Hit the showers. Also, you have to take Lizzy out tonight, the paparazzi needs to see you tonight together, we are trying to sell this.” Ethan rolls his eyes, sitting up to pull on his shoes. “Fine.”

“Just breaking, Ethan Nestor and Lizzie Dee Mitchell are caught kissing in Ethan Nestor’s car.”

You look up from your clipboard at the gaggle of girls in the practice room, raising an eyebrow.

Terra groans. “Who cares, he shouldn’t even be allowed to be a thought in our mind.”

It felt weird to be in a girl squad. For most of your lives, it had been just you and Annie. Adding Harini was already a shift in dynamic, especially because you lived together, but now you had an additional 4 girls to adjust to. Not that you really minded. You liked them each in their own ways.

Morgan, who was soft, sweet, and a talent at anything she put her hands on. Brit, who was witty, sarcastic, and incredibly sharp.

Kiera, who was always in the loop on gossip (like just now), was funny, fast thinking, and good with people. And then there was Terra.

Meeting Terra was something else. As Rini’s oldest friend, you were worried Terra wasn’t going to enjoy your presence. But Terra, after looking at you and Annie for a moment with a dead stare, she enveloped you both in a hug. Terra was fierce, loyal. And she saw that right back in you. Which meant you were fast friends.

However, after a gossiping session with the girls, she was also Ethan’s number one hater.

“Let me see,” you blurt out. Annie snatches Morgan’s phone. “No way. You’ll just wallow in your misery, and we just got you to agree to my clubbing promise tonight.”

She wasn’t kidding. It took the entire girl squad an hour to convince you to go out tonight. “Okay, that’s fair,” you nod. "Now ladies, let's focus," Harini chastises.

Three hours later, there you were at the Black Rabbit, LA’s most exclusive celebrity nightclub. The seven of you strut in, the paparazzi taking pictures as you do. The music is loud, and there’s dozens of people you recognize and never thought you would meet. Harini and Morgan go to dance immediately, but the rest of you take shots, trying to get yourselves tipsy before you danced.

Once you drank to your heart’s content, you joined the dancefloor. You couldn’t lie, under the pink and green lights, you were actually having one of the greatest nights of your life. Everyone was jumping up and down and twirling and swaying. It felt good. You were among friends.

Hit it like rom-pom-pom-pom (hit it like)

Get it hot like Papa John (get it hot)

Make a bitch go on and on (make a bitch)

“God! I love Chappell Roan!” Morgan screams and you cheer in response. You stumble a tiny bit, and you accidentally elbow someone. “I’m sorry-” you turn, and face someone’s chest.

“It’s alright, you barely even brushed me,” a soft Irish voice calls out. You look up to see a man smiling down at you, with a chiseled jaw and blonde curly hair. Woah. You smile back at him, and you share a moment looking at each other, until you hear Harini squeal with joy behind you.

“Alex! You made it!” Harini bounds up to the two of you. “Alex, this is y/n, she’s my new assistant. Y/N, this is Alex Jamie Wilson, he’s my opener for the tour once we get the album out.”

Alex lifts up a hand to shake yours. “Beyond charmed.”

Oh, you could get used to this. “Pleasure,” you say.

Neither of you have broken eye contact, which gets Harini a little excited, turning to the girls every few seconds to make a shocked expression. She couldn’t lie, she was kind of hoping you’d take an interest in Alex, as watching you continue to wallow over Ethan was torture for everyone.

You were incredibly kind and sweet, you deserved the world. She knew it would take more than just a week to get over someone you loved for four years, but it wouldn’t hurt to plant a seed, right? Surely you’d get over Ethan eventually-

The universe has to be playing a sick fucking joke, she thinks.

Ethan walks in with Lizzy, an arm draped around her.

Jerry had all but forced Ethan to take out Lizzy. Lizzy, in all her infamous wisdom, suggested that they go to the club, so at least they could have something in their system before having to do disgusting shit in front of the cameras. Ethan agreed, so the Black Cat it was.

It was crowded, he thinks, and he hated thinking all these people thought she was his girlfriend. They split up pretty quickly, as Lizzy goes to the bathroom. Ethan goes to sit on a stool at the bar, ordering a scotch. He pulls out his phone to scroll as he waits for Lizzy, but he feels a tap on his shoulder. Harini.

“You can’t fucking be here,” she yells. “Why not?” Ethan exclaims back, annoyed immediately. The audacity. She stole the one thing that matters to him, now she’s yelling at him to get out of a public night club.

“You have to fucking go.”

A girl approaches, taking a place next to Harini. “Beat it, Nestor,” the girl says, crossing her arm. “Who the hell are you?” Ethan responds. “She can’t see you, you have to leave,” Harini exclaims.

Trouble was here?

He looks over their shoulders, and there you were, perfection, having an animated conversation with someone Ethan couldn’t see. His face noticeably lights up. Finally, he can just fucking see you, maybe talk to you.

He slides off the stool, but the second girl blocks him. “No,” she shouts. Ethan parts the girls with ease, his focus on you. He starts trying to push through the crowd. Harini and Terra trail behind him quickly, trying to convince him not to.

But by the time Ethan gets there, you’re gone.

He flips back around, where Harini and Terra are waiting behind him, equally confused.

“Where is she?” he asks, looking over their heads. But it was fruitless, you couldn’t be spotted. Harini’s eyes grow big as saucers, confusion becoming more apparent on her face. “I don’t know, she was just right there!”

Harini grabs the elbow of another girl, who spins around. “Morgan, have you and Keira seen y/n? I can’t spot her.” Morgan and the girl she was dancing with immediately stop, shaking their heads.

Oh, shit.