#i thought about this and i don't hate the latest episode even though everyone and their mother has an opinion abt it

[dearest-lady-disdain]

watching interview with the vampire as an avid the amazing devil listener is a different level of brain rot, i assure you

[izzysillyhandsy]

Thoughts about the finale, and my utter confusion about Izzy Hands

What I hated about Izzy's death wasn't him dying. I love a tragic arc, and although Con O'Neill elevated every scene he was in, it would have been ok if they'd handled his death better.

To have him die with only 10mins of the episode left (and this might even be the last ever episode!) was the first terrible decision. Everything that was built up over 2 seasons had to be resolved in a few minutes, we don't see any repercussions for anyone Izzy was important to - Ed, the crew and even Stede.

But the main criticism is the 180° turn the show made for his character arc in the last episode (or more precisely, in Izzy's last scene) and in David Jenkins' latest interviews.

Since season 1, I kept asking myself the same two questions:

What function does Izzy Hands have in the narrative? What is the nature of his relationship with Ed?

And the answers changed drastically from S1 to S2, and got more and more complex and intriguing.

Until the finale.

Izzy Hands as a plot device for the main couple

In S1, Izzy was an antagonist. His function in the narrative was to stand in the way of the Ed/Stede romance, of Ed growing and finding happiness and to move the plot along. He brought a lot of humour to almost every interaction he was in - he was such a fish-out-of-water character, clashing with everyone and constantly losing.

He was barely human - he was a pirate cliché.

But there was also so much going on in the background - his quiet desparation, his obvious love and longing for Ed, and these hints of a fascinating backstory between the two of them. This is what many fans picked up on, and going into S2 we hoped that we'd get more of this (for me personally the most important thing was clarification on Izzy's importance to Ed).

And then S2 came along and boy, were all of our expectations exceeded.

Suddenly, Izzy wasn't a plot device anymore. He was one half of the most intense (and interesting, sorry Stede) couple in the show. It was even confirmed by the showrunner that he was in a love triangle with the main couple!

In the first 2 episodes, we got so much more than we ever expected. At the end of Ep2, Izzy broke the lifeline with Ed, both of them almost dying in the process. He went on a journey of discovering who and what he even was without Ed (and right up to his death he was still deeply unhappy and broken, even though he was on the right path).

Izzy suddely became a fascinating character in his own right, with his arc of healing and self-acceptance and his inability (for now) to keep himself from sliding back into this relationship with his other half. He was blaming himself for everything that had happened. He was still so entangled with this man he built his whole life around. He still had a long way to go and a lot to work through (the same also applies to Ed btw).

But he also became the crew's unicorn, doing Izzy things (still related to Ed, always to Ed) but you could feel him becoming more himself. Slowly, Izzy's real personality started to shine through and we realized - this man is fascinating on his own accord. He's a respected and very capable pirate. He came from nothing and fought his way up. He's a really good teacher. He's creative and sensitive. He also cares about other people than Ed a lot.

Viewers who hated him or were indifferent to him in S1 suddenly became interested - this man's journey was fascinating and, most importantly, it wasn't at all finished. There was so much yet to come, and we wanted to see it.

Does this sound like a plot device to you? If it doesn't, bad news.

At the end of the final episode, Izzy is suddenly back where he was in S1.

He dies in a completely unnecessary way - almost as if how he died didn't matter. And it didn't matter, because in the end, Izzy Hands' journey didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he died and how it affected the main couple.

On his deathbed, Izzy is saying exactly what Ed needs to hear to move on. He absolves him of any guilt. Ed is ready. Izzy has played his part, he's ready to die.

Notably, nothing is really resolved for poor Izzy. Even if Ed says he doesn't want him to go, it's because Ed is losing his only family. He doesn't tell Izzy he loves him, or that he's important to him as a person, as his oldest friend, as the one who knows him best.

In the end, Izzy's function in the narrative, even after everything that happened in S2, was to be an obstacle to the Ed/Stede romance, to Ed growing and finding happiness. He had to die to free Ed of his Blackbeard persona and because "it's nice that Blackbeard is upset by it" (WTF).

The problem is, for the rest of the season, that wasn't Izzy's role in this show at all and I felt completely blindsided.

More than a spurned, jilted lover

"I guess it's a journey of redemption, but I think it's more a journey of finding out, who is he to Blackbeard?" According to Jenkins, Izzy is "more than a spurned, jilted lover." "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other." (source)

I also made a poll about that question after Ep3 if anyone's interested.

The answer is, apparently, the two of them were Blackbeard. Or, Izzy was the brains behind the operation. Or, Izzy egged Eddie on to give in to his darker impulses (which, I think, was alluded to quite strongly in the murder/suicide scene).

I mean, yes. That was one of the options on my poll that I was quite sure of, and I think most of us suspected this even in S1.

Izzy was Eddie's only family. Ok, I think family doesn't quite express what was going on between them in S2, but that certainly was one aspect of their relationship.

This is all fine. I can see that being built up to over the two seasons.

But.

"And then there was the realization that [Izzy] is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard. It felt nice to have him die and have Blackbeard be upset by it, because Blackbeard killed his father. But this is a father figure that he’s losing that it’s hard for him; it's sad and he doesn't want him to go." (source)

This is not fine. Not at all.

Izzy is not Blackbeard's mentor. Izzy is obviously in love with Ed (and Ed is fully aware of that). Izzy might have been a mentor-like presence in Ed's life when they were younger, but when we meet them in S1 Izzy is more like an overworked housewife cleaning up behind her disinterested husband. Izzy would do anything for Ed (apart from killing him) and is ready to die at one point because of him. Izzy is desperate, grabbing onto the scraps Ed throws his way.

Where, where does Izzy seem like a mentor to Ed in all of this? A mentor is supposed to be at least at the same level or above but Izzy is clearly not.

And in the death scene, suddenly, that's all there is left of their complex, intense dynamic.

Izzy took young Eddie in and fed his darkness. He was Eddie's only family, binding him to himself out of selfishness in the process.

So that's their unexpected "who they are to each other". Izzy taught Ed everything he knows (which is actually bad for him) and it'd probably been better if they'd never even met.

And don't get me wrong, I don't completely disagree with this take. As a part of their dynamic, this is a fascinating concept - but only if this wasn't the end.

Because there was so much more, so much promise of a complicated, mutually destructive relationship that nevertheless was also full of love. Those two seemed so intertwined (and I'll never forgive Stede for stealing that for himself and Ed). Ed is Izzy's missing half and Izzy is Ed's.

And I still believe that, without Izzy, Ed isn't complete.

And with this rushed conclusion, and all the mess left behind and never even looked at, Ed will never be happy.

Conclusion

I think what hurts the most is, that with Izzy dead and their last conversation being that reductive, all possibilities of an exploration of all these complex and fascinating aspects of their relationship are now closed. I know this show isn't about Ed and Izzy. But Izzy is a big part of what made Ed interesting, and he's a brilliant character in his own right. We could have gotten so much more (even if it's only allusions, we really don't need everything spelled out).

I guess I expected too much from this show - but with good reason. The actors gave it their all. S2 set up such an intricate dynamic (and it was probably overly ambitious with only 4 hours of screentime!). I've never gotten so much of what I wanted from an outsider character in any show.

And then it let us down in the last 10 minutes.

And even if we hadn't gotten a season 3 - the setup was all there for meta, for fanfiction. Why ruin it all with killing off Izzy for all the wrong reasons and making their last conversation all about Ed "outliving his mentor".

To quote Prince Ricky: "Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious."

Still, I love everything they've done in this show except for the ending. I will watch it again, many times, and enjoy the drama, the humour and the complexity. But I will try to forget these interviews and convince myself Izzy's senseless death was just a dream :).

[a-doubleh-x]

A little frustrated lately with the Hazbin fandom

At the present moment, it's been about 3 months since Hazbin Hotel's first season dropped. It's a lot of story at once, but it's also a proper start ever since the pilot era.

I'm sure most people expected some sort of controversy coming from a show that takes place in Hell, whose main characters include porn stars and murderers, but personally, I didn't expect the biggest ones to come from the fandom itself.

From the start we've heard of all sorts of tone deaf opinions coming from inside the house, included but not limited to:

• The idea that Angel Dust's character and his music video, Poison, glorifies abuse when its artistic intention clearly is to denounce it.

• The vitriol against problematic characters like Valentino, which has lead to the harrassment of cosplayers and fans of said characters.

• Ship wars mixed with hate speech, from SJWs claiming Alastor ships are ace erasure from Vaggie haters attacking Chaggie because it's canon.

I could go into detail on each of these incidents, but I won't go into it today. I'll just say for now I'm *really* disappointed by this fandom. I was really excited about HH because I thought it would bring much needed attention to certain topics, such as the still ongoing demonization of minorities to the crippling self loathing that comes from abusive relationships.

It feels like the people to whom the show's message is made for are the ones who are working the hardest to tear it down, which is not only a disservice to themselves but everyone involved as well. I expected the harshest criticism involving the show would come from the typical rabid christian ultra conservatives, but apparently they don't need to do their job anymore because they already got us to do it, apparently.

Hazbin Hotel became a creative spark for me when I was lost and empty of motivation. I began writing loads of fan fiction from just before season 1 came out, but during the latest weeks I've just gotten tired of it.

As a mutli-shipper, I'm constantly in the middle of ship wars. I'm hearing constantly on this very site of Charlastor shippers who hate Vaggie because she's supposedly terrible and hate her role in the show canon. I'm hearing of Charlastor haters that claim it's ace erasure, even though no shipper I've heard of denies the fact that Alastor is canonically ace. And worst of all, I hate the fact that some people still claim that Charlie is a lesbian and shouldn't be shipped with men when she's canonically bi.

As a biromantic person who recently came out of the closet, it used to be very liberating to write fics where Charlie gets involved with both Vaggie and Alastor. I like both characters and I like the idea of Charlie being romantically involved with both characters. But apparently the one thing that is not still worthy of respect in this day and age is divergence of opinions.

I came to this realization the other day when episode 2 of The Amazing Digital Circus came out. It's a smaller fandom, even though the audience attention is *massive*. I was looking through the community posts and... guess what? Practically little to none inflamatory speech or ship wars.

People there ship Pomni with Jax, Jax with Ragatha, Ragatha with Pomni, even Pomni with *Caine* for some bizarre reason that I can't comprehend and even Gangle and Zooble.

People *get* the intended message, which I must admit it can be largely attributed to the fact that the writing is better (sorry Vivz) and the episodes are more sparce. But the few people who don't get it don't go around attacking anyone with a different opinion or the showrunners themselves.

I apoligize formaking an unfair comparison, since, as I previously mentioned, these two fandoms have very different sizes and their respective shows deal with very different issues, but I'm just expressing my perspective.

I'm still highly disappointed in Hazbin fans. I expected better than you, but if this post reaches the type of fans I'm talking about, I'm sure they're happy that I'm upset. So, congratulations, you won.

Anyways, I'm gonna stop writing Hazbin fics for a while, for how long, who knows and I'm going to start writing TADC fics instead. I already had an idea in mind, so it's little trouble for me.

Thank you to the fans who have been engaging in peaceful discourse and have sated my shipping thirst so far with wonderful art and writing pieces alike. You've pulled me through some hard times, but it's time for me to part.

Sorry as well for the melodramatic tone of this post, but I'm just really sad and general and I need something to obsess with in order to prevent my inner demons from taking over.

In any case, thank you for reading, and I hope to see you all again soon 👋

[demispark]

Dunmeshi Ep. 17. I have feelings. I don't have the patience to be funny or upbeat.

Spoilers ahead.

Too much.

This episode was too. much.

Shuro, his attendants, Kabru, his party, Chimera Falin. It's all too much. I can't deal with it all in one episode. I'm so fucking angry. I don't remember the last time I felt so angry and hateful.

Everything is too complex, it's great writing but I hate them. I hate all of them so much.

There is nothing good about Shuro. He is weak, cowardly, selfish, always acting so high-and-mighty.

So neurotypical. I hate him even more for forcing me to call that a bad thing instead of a neutral trait.

I hate their attitude. I hate it. They're not even entirely wrong but that doesn't matter when I hate it so much.

I'm struggling to even put it into words why I'm so angry. It's biased, definitely. It's naive, and clearly refusing to acknowledge the way this world works and any wrongs the Touden party may be guilty of.

I'm glad Shuro & Co. seem to be leaving, and they're never coming back. Stay gone. Die, preferably.

I wish Kabru and his band of merry bastards would piss off too. I'm so sick of him. Even when he's right he's so fucking wrong.

I had other things I wanted to say about this episode but they were washed away when my vision went red.

Black magic might be wrong, I can accept that. What I can never accept is everyone's behavior shifting because of it. Shuro's so immediately willing to sell out Marcille and his oh-so-precious Falin even though he only stands to lose by not letting Marcille use ordinary revival spells on his party and ensuring the death of the woman he supposedly loves.

Laios beat the shit out of him and Shuro admitted he was envious of Laios, and I couldn't even enjoy that resolution.

I should stop now. I could keep going but I'll just be repeating myself out of blind fury and spite. I'm gonna go cool off now.

Edit:

I didn't quite finish the episode. I have a few clearer thoughts about the ending.

I need a warm home-cooked meal from Laios, with his warm friendly smile as he passes me his latest monster cuisine.

I wanna brain Kabru with a fucking rock.

Laios is a better man than I. I'd have destroyed that fucking bell in front of Shuro.

[chaifootsteps]

I'm answering the anon roll call even though I don't have an anon name, (I like to keep my trail cold and traceable seeing as I'm in the animation business and Viv's fandom and herself are a nuke I don't wanna touch).

I'm a she/they in her mid twenties. I first became aware of Viv with the release of the HH pilot. I personally kind of hated it, didn't understand the hype. Even at the time, I thought it was trying too hard to be wacky and it had the particular brand of American sitcom comedy writing I hate - and the vibe of "swearing = funny" that is also, very puritan and American. (My taste is european morbid humour, sue me).

However as a fellow animator, I respected the hustle and thought HH was a great thing to see even if I personally didn't like it. When HB came out, I didn't watch it for a while but eventually binged the first season around the time the final first season episode came out. Thought it was great. Wasn't a fan of the swearing = funny stuff but I'm not going to lie and say basic sex jokes don't make me snicker. Also the rare slapstick really got me. Really liked CHERUBS even though everyone else seems to hate that episode, had a great Saturday morning cartoon vibe.

I was never a Vivzie stan or even a fan though. I don't engage with stuff with adoration, or even knowledge of the creator like that

It wasn't long after that I stumbled on the crit community and found out all the receipts. Been a lurker on chai's blog and throughout the community ever since

Now seeing Vivzie support makes me sick. I have a friend that is a Stolas fanboy and Viv supporter who's been posting his support during this latest meltdown and it... I like my friend but it makes me sad to see it. I'm thinking about opening the floor and trying to reason with him about it soon

Keeping your trail cold and untraceable is an extremely good idea, I'd do it myself if that boat hadn't long sailed.

Glad to have you lurking!

[this-is-krikkit]

For the drabble challenge your grace, I request number 29. I was going to pick something much worse but I thought I'd be nice this time :)

send me a number (and a ship/character) and i'll write a drabble

thank you for: the prompt, calling me your grace (i will be requesting that you do so all the time from now on though, cheh), and for picking something nice (although now i def want you to send me the worse one!!!). know that this almost went somewhere really, really dark, but drunk me decided against it.

The Poll

Prompt 29. How is my wife more badass than me?

Tags: levihan, actor AU, the 104th kids, silliness

now edited and posted on ao3

The SNK panel is going well so far, although it's the last day of the convention and even Hange and Conny's social batteries are running low -Levi's has been empty since the end of the first morning, to no one's surprise- but they're pushing through bravely. Only a few more hours before they can all head back to their homes, and Levi can recharge -and take care of Hange as she goes through her usual post-convention depression.

"Hange," the host calls out, finally leaving a red-faced Armin alone after a round of merciless questions about his character's newly revealed romantic arc, "you were elected most badass character from the latest special episode in a fans poll, outvoting even Levi and Mikasa's characters. We've talked about that amazing last fighting scene of course, but I don't think I've heard you describe that emotional goodbye with Levi before. How was it filming that goodbye scene?"

Hange doesn't immediately reply, and Levi can tell they're uncomfortable although they've all been briefed and Hange okayed this topic. He understands their unease as he absolutely hates having to rethink about their last moments on set -well, last until their fleeting appearance in the last part of the season, but the fans don't know that yet- and so for once, he's the one who speaks up and switches the topic.

"Oi, what did they say you beat me at?" he asks, turning to Hange but speaking in his microphone so everyone hears him.

"Most badass character, babe," Hange replies with a thankful grin, flicking her short hair back.

People, both fans and castmates, laugh at the exaggerated gesture.

"Are you guys kidding? How the f- hell is my wife more badass than me here?" he asks, glaring at the crowd and host in the typical way his character is famous for. "She threw herself to her death and left me half to go on and fight my ape arch nemesis and that giant bony monstrosity when I was still half dead and missing parts of my dominant hand-

"Well, as your character said, Levi, two fingers is all you need," she interrupts.

She winks at him -well, blinks, but he's learned to read through her attempts by now- and he prays he's not blushing as hard as he does every time Hange unexpectedly flirts with him in public, even years after they've made their relationship public. Someone -Eren, that's gotta be this shithead Eren- whistles suggestively, and Levi takes a deep breath in before clearing his throat.

"Anyway, my character is the most badass, period. Yours isn't even on the show anymore."

Hange laughs as a few shocked gasps escape the audience.

"Don't hold it against him, folks, Levi's still a little shaken up by that scene," she explains.

"Was it a difficult moment for you to film as well, Levi?" the panelist attacks again.

Levi looks down, then sideways at Hange, and the smile on her face falters as she hears his silent plea to get him out of there.

"Well, it was interesting as actors to portray feelings those characters don't usually display," she starts, "and it was a challenge to do justice to this particular scene. One I hope we lived up to, although from what i've seen in some tweets-

"To be fair, you guys were exhausted by the time they finally called that scene a wrap," Jean interrupts on Levi's other side.

"Why? Did it take long to shoot?" the host asks now, clearly desperate to finally get a reply to at least one of their questions.

Eren laughs, and the rest of the cast has a smile on their face they all try to hide when Levi loudly clicks his tongue at him.

"Oh, come on. I can say it, Hange, right?" he asks, although he sounds a bit less sure than his usual self.

And to Levi's horror, Hange simply chuckles and nods.

"Yeah, go ahead. It's probably going in the bloopers anyway."

Eren sighs in relief, and Levi hides his face into his arms as he awaits his fate.

"I was behind the camera watching them acting this scene out since it was one of my favorite moment from the script," Eren picks up in his most dramatic tone, "and it took them hours to get it right. But not just because one of them cried or messed up their lines, no... the real recurring problem was, those two kept ending it with a goodbye kiss! And since Hange was supposed to fly away right after her last line and that kiss wasn't scripted at all, they had to redo it over and over again, while our director was pulling at his own hair and yelling at them to stop making out!'

The crowd erupts into a chorus of laughter and exicted squeals, and the other cast members join in as they remember that day on set.

"I'm going to kill you, Jaeger," Levi says as he sits back up.

"Hey! No spoilers, old man," the young star retorts.

Hange snorts out a laugh, and Levi stares daggers at her instead. All she does is put her hand on his knee under the table, squeezing gently, and he doesn't pay attention to whoever is getting tortured now.

He only looks into Hange's eyes, glad to finally be rid of that damned eye patch prop she's had to keep on for the last season and loved a little too much -and is most definitely planning to steal from the set, he bets- and can only thank the universe that this is all fiction and his Hange's alive and well by his side.

[zalrb]

I don’t know what to think of Logan and Marcia. Because I get why they’d be in to each other, why they’d marry each other and stay married. Logan has money and Marcia is composed, clever, and conniving and I think Logan would like that (so long as she didn’t attempt to usurp him). I never got the vibe that there were any real feelings involved, which is why I was so surprised that Marcia left Logan after Rhea (controversial opinion, but I don’t think Logan and Rhea were ever a thing, Rhea seems too well-adjusted for that IMO). I can get Marcia’s cattiness with Kerry, and obviously I get Logan fucking around but I never understood why it was with Kerry because she brings nothing to the table the way Marcia, Rhea, and even Caroline do.

I’m also interested in her loyalty to Logan. Part of it was that he had all the power, but Marcia’s very big on betrayal and even used the word “traitors” a few times, which made it seem more personal.

I’m curious about why Shiv dislikes her so much (but Shiv hates everyone, so…) and I’m interested in Marcia’s beef with Willa and her weird kinship with Greg. I think Marcia thinks people see her as an older Willa and resents that bc they’re on different levels but I do not get why anyone but Tom would like Greg lmao.

Logan and Rhea weren't sexually involved

and she was also clearly playing him

but I think it's clear they were still a thing

especially because being romantically involved with someone and playing them is kind of expected in this world at least to Logan, he says it about Marcia

and it's to the point that Logan doesn't know if his judgment is impaired because he's so swept up in her

which also happens with Kerry, he pushes for her to become an anchor

and it's only when he repeatedly sees how people are making fun of her audition tape that he's like OK well kill it

which is actually an interesting aspect of Logan, particularly since he can eventually admit to being worried about not thinking clearly because he's infatuated with a woman

Marcia leaves because Logan isn't discreet, everyone knows that he's infatuated with Rhea and it's even worse than with Sally-Anne, and she has a sense of dignity. It's one thing to have affairs, it's another thing to flaunt them

It's also interesting you never got the vibe that there were real feelings involved with Marcia and Logan when I thought it existed at one point because one of the most, if not the most, vulnerable scenes we see of him when he's alive is with her

yet I don't think loyalty is why she stayed, they negotiated more money and more power in the company for her in season 3 when Logan asks her not to divorce him because of the optics, they had an arrangement

In terms of Kerry, it's interesting because she kind of just shows up one episode and then her screen time grows with each season little by little and we don't have much backstory but when we see her talk to Greg we do see her have the same type of sharpness, no bullshitting attitude

while also being someone who is taking care of him, like Marcia isn't there anymore, he isn't going to rely on his kids, so not only does she sometimes act as an intermediary and a translator to the siblings,

she's doing the things Marcia used to do, like when she knows about his UTI plus she's young and ambitious and probably won't say "awesome" too much.

Shiv's dislike of Marcia comes down to power plays and control and who has more of it. Shiv likes to try and take control of situations and she's repeatedly told to stay in her lane by Logan or by Kendall,

even by Roman (though I'm thinking more of this latest episode)

and that's something she continuously navigates abd pushes back against but she's used to it coming from her brothers and her father and men but then there's Marcia -- and to Shiv, who is Marcia, really? just some other woman -- who plainly tells her that she's not in control

and that's also coupled with the access Marcia has/had to Logan that Shiv couldn't/can't get her own father

like when she wants to go see him after he comes out of the hospital and Marcia won't let her upstairs, Shiv talks to the staff and says "I'm Logan's daughter, I just wanted to thank you for all you do" as a way to establish that she's the authority and they should be taking their cues from her not Marcia

combined with the fact that unlike the old guard who will act sycophantic, Marcia expresses the contempt she has and it's specifically to Shiv about Shiv

[acetonitril]

20 questions for fic writers

Between bouts of scientific sexting, IKEA shopping, and emigration counselling, @urmomsonfire tagged me to do this. Thank you! And let's go.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

68,121 with special mention to the fact that I wrote 47,952 of them this year, the rest in the last five

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Top Gun, mostly Tatort before that

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all in bad taste

the sight of you leaves me weak

(toi et moi) dans la nuit on trouvera

And Everything Is You

chat with you, baby (flirt a little maybe)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always! One reason being that I think everyone who takes the time to leave a comment at least deserves a thank you. But I also just love the interaction with people in the comment section. I love how people can write entire essays down there and are willing to discuss it all with you and want to hear extra info and thoughts on your fics. I'm doing all this for the interaction, I think.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Nichts unversucht gelassen Dich zu hassen which no, will never have a second part thank you very much

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't quite know how to quantify happiness but dare I say big boy, come on 'round? It's the fic with the latest stage in a relationship and basically shows that you can still be happy and sappy even after years of marriage and it's about the changes you experience and accept as you grow old together, which qualifies as happy ending I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember that I ever have.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Me? Smut? Noooo. (The gay kind. The somnophilia kind.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't actually written any crossovers and I'm personally not a huge fan of them but there was a time when I was determined to write a Star Trek TOS/Tanz der Vampire crossover. It never worked out because I didn't find the time to do it due to unexpected changes in my life.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translated one of my fics once but I wouldn't count that. The translation was part of the process and is also really bad.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

throwing A Look in Someone's direction No. I have not.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

If I had to pick one ship for the rest of time than probably Spirk. Maybe Victorian bachelors Holmes and Watson because they're hilariously codependent.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't know of that counts but I probably won't ever finish the Nachspiele series (if you care). I'm like 40 episodes behind and don't think I'll ever get back into it enough for me to care.

I also have a Hangster WIP which basically had the concept of telling their story through the years, including their first time and epic breakup and getting back together, through songs Bradley plays to Jake on a bar piano. But there were details I couldn't quite figure out so I abandoned it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at visualising stuff for myself. I don't know if that translates to my writing/characterisations though. Also overthinking.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

First lines, last lines (or endings in general, knowing when to stop), titles. Plot. Not getting distracted but that's a general problem of mine.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As in "incorporating dialogues with lines of another language into a fic"? I don't mind it when it's well done and adds to the story but I can't see myself doing it (maybe for the train fic).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm going to take the very easy out here and say Tatort.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This might surprise some of you but toi et moi! If, and I say IF, the cave fic turns out the way I want it to, that might be a strong contender, too, but it's also just really self indulgent, so.

No idea who has been tagged already but tagging uh @theinsouciantknitter, @perishablealex, @wordsonamission

[mewatchingstuff]

Just some thought vomit about Kit,

I fucking love her but she's a mess. Kit has so much potential that she undermines being an arrogant jerk who hates that she's not the hero of everyone's story. She's jealous of Elora Danan for being the chosen one, because Kit wants to be special herself. The quest to save Airyk is equally about proving herself to be the ultimate adventurer and swordswoman hero, the person of which legends are created from.

The latest episode (6), does a really great and subtle job of showing the duality of Kit as a character for the sake of the audience perspective. Kit feels sorrow about not having her dad and feels the sting of his abandonment every step of the way. You truly feel for her hurt but at the same time it's being made explicitly and abundantly clear that her father didn't abandon his family FOR Elora Danan. Madmartigan was sent to find a way to protect EVERYONE from the darkness. He was sent on a hero's quest because of the Crone not because of Elora Danan. However, Kit refuses to acknowledge that because it will force her to call into question and reign in her own arrogance. As much as Kit is hurt by not having her father around, she also fueled her own hurt by not accepting the truth -even when she only had a small piece of a larger version. Episode 6, shows us that Kit is eager to believe what she wants instead of what she knows. She's quick to believe Allagash because he feeds into her own idolization of her father and gives her an out of "he was betrayed and trapped. He didn't really choose someone else over her" instead of forcing her to accept that her father went on a dangerous journey to help save everyone and may not return.

Boorman called it in the first episode, Kit would rather believe her father abandoned her because she can hate him and Elora Danan instead of accepting that his leaving was not solely about her but about something greater than herself. Kit can be angry with her father choosing a single person over her but she can't be mad at him for choosing a kingdom, or the world above her. Because she would then need to acknowledge that she doesn't like being looked nor chosen over for ANY reason. Kit's biggest fault is that she can't accept that it is just not about her. At all.

I also love that this constantly brings her into conflict with Elora Danan because now there's a physical embodiment of Kit's insecurities and she's seemingly weak enough for Kit to question and even bully some. I don't think it would have mattered if Elora was already a full-fledged sorceress with unimaginable power but Kit would still be jealous and cold to her. But in these moments of conflict there's an exchange of truths -hard truths- for both Elora and Kit. They both are hurt by each other but the truth digs into them and helps them to grow in their own ways.

I greatly prefer the dynamic of Kit/Elora Danan over that of Kit/Jade in terms of character development. It's fine that Jade and Kit are in love but that love doesn't produce much when Jade still acts in servitude to her princess and Kit still acts like the boss of Jade -because she's still a princess. There's a difference between stations, of power, that makes Jade and Kit not so great with encouraging character development long-term. I mean, they're cute but that's it, imo.

However, Kit and Elora are able to avoid that pitfall even though Elora was raised as a kitchen maid in Kit's castle. Elora Danan grows in station and power in equilibrium to Kit's station as a princess, so Kit inadvertently sees Elora as a peer even when she doesn't want to. Kit doesn't give orders to Elora in the same way as Jade and Boorman. But she treats Elora like Graydon or Willow, someone she cannot truly call rank on. Which again, makes it sooo much easier for Elora and Kit to have conflict with each other - a type of conflict that forces them into reality. Jade provides Kit with comfort and familiarity, while Elora forces Kit to question and confront her insecurities and arrogance.

There's so much good stuff in their scenes together whether they're fighting or getting along. So I'm excited about the final two episodes to see which way Kit goes. If she digs deeper in her own hurt or if she finally lets go and grows up.

[that-vigilante-piedpiper]

Couldn't fit in ask so I hope it's okay here!

Warning very long! 

I absolutely adore Pied Piper, I found it when it had only chapters in the 20s and was obsessed. Your writing is beautiful, I adored Reo, Izuku was killing me in the best way possible. (Plus your humor is so fucking funny, your social media breaks in it have me dying) I subscribed and left it there for when it's almost done because I have been burned far too many times by illegal cliffhangers and discontinued fics. 

And with that out of the way, it's time for the latest thing. I always look at all the fanart at the beginning and end. I'm absolutely blown away by all the amazing fan art. Ferret is truly doing God's work. So you can imagine my confusion when I saw Nighteye(I only knew it was him cause the centipede called him Mirai), some centipede human, a woman, and Gang Orca in the same bed. I was understandably disgusted but mostly confused. I checked the tags, saw nothing about it, and brushed it off as a discord inside joke. 

More chapters flew by (I read all 64 chapters in 2 days, yes I should sleep but your writing is way too good.) and I got to the art of a human centipede and who I thought was some random guy about to kiss. It's been a while since I watched the show so I didn't remember Centipede as a sidekick or what Nighteye looked like that well. I'm still scarred and Ferret has to pay for my therapy.

Y'know that one line where Nighteye mentions that he attended their wedding? I first thought 'wait Nighteye isn't married' checked the tags and saw nothing about it. So I reread it and thought that Nighteye attended Aizawa, Hizashi, and Oboro's wedding instead.

Thus I was able to finish chapter 64 peacefully and went on your Tumblr. Your word game is really fun and adding on the DFO spin-off is very entertaining. Until I stumbled on the Centipede ask for the word game. And I saw the tag centipeder x nighteye. 

I thought it wouldn't take me that long to see the end of it to know the mystery behind this very much cursed ship. 

I WAS WRONG

I'm now fully aware of why that fanart is there and you can't even blame the LoveWins nation anymore. YOU BETRAYED YOURSELF. You didn't need a bet to kill off Nighteye. YOU ALREADY IKIT. (I'm still mourning him)

But yes, have the divorce go through, let us readers see the mention that Nighteye isn't wearing a ring. AND FOR EVERYONE'S SAKE DON'T BET ABOUT MPREG!

(Serious note though I really love your fic, I hold Izuku very close to my heart and have grown very attached to your version of him and his growth. You're amazing)

[THANK YOU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 AND YES I HAVE ALSO HABE A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH FERRET MY BELOVED 😭😭 also the woman in their 4 way ship is Rei Todoroki 😔😔, her and gang orca arent BAD, BUT WHEN THEY WANT TO COMBINE ALL FOUR LIKE SOME POWER RANGER EPISODES I DRAW THE LINE. BUT YES, IM SO HAPPY TO FIND ANOTHER CENTIPEDER X NIGHTEYE HATER, THERE ARENT ENOUGH OF US, I NEED MORE, AND I PROMISE, I SWEAR TO YOU I WILL NOT BE MAKING ANY MORE BETS 😭😭😫]

[colorisbyshe]

you have to watch Succession just because if you hate it or like it i still want to know your thoughts

I tried to!! I got like three episodes in and the issue is... I like media about bad and complicated people. I like tragic cycles. I love media that's like "Rich people suck" (though I am critical of it because often... it's by and for rich people).

But... something about it just wasn't doing it for me. I just... couldn't get invested in anyone other than maybe Shiv because I'm just too aware of their richness.

And I think part of hte issue is they remind me of my landlord nana. Every time she annoyed me, I'd just think "I'd be okay with you dying and your wealth being dispersed." and then.. when this latest season started, she DID die and her wealth IS being dispersed (a bit). And it made me happy.

Like... Tom annoys me and I just think "Someone kill him with hammers," I'm not thinking about the socioeconomic commentary of a man who grew up quite privileged thinking he was owed MORE wealth and using (and betraying) a woman to achieve it. Like... I get the commentary. I get the commentary about the cycle of abuse and how these people can't get better because they are always beholden to their wealth and their name and their legacies.

I understand... but I don't care. I like media where bad people get worse or drag each other down but I feel like Succession is trying too hard to be that AND also be like... sympathetic to them? And I absolutely get WHY its doing that. I know it's a trap.

But like... I don't wanna. I just hate everyone. And everyone feels too stagnant. Everyone sucked in the beginning and they suck now.

So, I don't even get to be like "HAHA they're getting worse." It's just like... yeah, these rich people will never develop outside of their richness. Their wealth has stagnated their humanity. Duh.

I don't see the tragedy in it because I don't care when wealthy people suffer. Pay for an in house therapist, I don't give a fuck.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend after a very, very long week. This is actually my 3rd attempt at sending you an ask. First, I finally had time and was excited to type up something for the latest episode and then the Buck LI stuff came out and the mood for that was killed. Next I had mostly typed up my salty thoughts only to have my internet go down (yes, I whined at home "what i was going to read??!!" and pointedly ignored my very much filled bookcase because my ships aren't in them). So here let's see if this one works out.

So how is it KR and the promo dept always manage to kill any joy we have when we get fed any kind of Buddie content (the follow-up to the Eddie getting shot, and the 5b and premier come to mind here)?? Seriously Buck and Eddie more or less went on a date and had family night together and almost immediately they came back with "look Buck and Eddie are going to go on dates!!". Its exhausting cause it seems like any time they put out a story that might even be slightly suggestive of them being more than platonic bros they insist on following it up with stories to "prove" they are, no matter how recycled those plots are.

And okay let's take a second here to ask WTF is KR doing with these characters? In 6b alone we've had Buck dying, a coma dream, PTSD, super powers, and now he's getting a crush, and we STILL haven't finished the accursed sperm donor storyline??!! Bobby and Athena investigated had the death of a beloved friend 🙄 plot, HenRen had the nonsensical Denny secretly seeing his Dad which was never an issue before plot, and Madney and Eddie are just kinda there?? The other characters have had at best one storyline where the audience has to either invent or rewrite the backstory for. But for Buck he's had like 50 plotlines, none of which have really gone anywhere? I love Buck but I'd rather have him have 1 good arc and resolution than whatever this bullshit is. I'd easily take that screentime and give it to any of the other characters if it meant we got 1 well thought out and executed storyline. Instead we're just recycling and redressing old plots for everyone else while KR uses a magnetic poetry set to plan what Buck's doing from episode to episode. We have 5 episodes left in the season, 4-5 guest characters that are going to be incorporated (including 2 much beloathed ones 🙄🙄🙄), and nothing really setup for our mains to do (even Eddie dating isn't setup, it literally hasn't come up after Ana and you'd think they could have in 6a while he was watching his son mature).

Anyway, I'll stop the rant here though there's definitely more I could say. I'll close off saying I hope you're feeling better today since this week looks like its been rough on you. Sending you virtual tea, soup, and hugs!!

Long week is RIGHT my friend! I'm so sorry you were foiled in your previous attempts! I am right there with you on the Buck LI stuff just...sucking a lot of the joy out of things for me. Because of course we're doing this again 🙄🙄🙄 I was even writing up notes on a possible fic and you KNOW I haven't written anything since Malex and even that was before s4 started. But alas. That sucks about the power going out! I hate when that happens especially if I was in the middle of something! (Also I am SO with you. I keep buying books and then just...not reading them because my brain says "it's not our blorbos so no.)

I am just...so tired at this point. Like yes these people *may* not stick around, but even so, I don't want to loose out on Buddie scenes and Buckley-Diaz family scenes! I don't want Buck to have 90% of his time and discussions with some new character I do not know or care about instead of Eddie and the firefam! They already tried to do that with BT and it was the woooooorst! I want Eddie to have screentime and arcs but again, I don't want the little time we DO get to be wasted on some random side character! And lets be honest, there is no person they can introduce at this point that can compare with the relationship Buck and Eddie have already built and the ways in which they are the perfect partners for what each other needs. So the options are to a) cut down on seeing that relationship so their new het ones don't look so shitty and lame in comparison, b) have these women be mostly just Blurry Girlfriends in the background with no personality or depth just to have the boys paired off so they don't have to do Buddie while still centering their relationship so people can't call them out for not committing to Buddie because their "friendship" looks basically the same, or c) give them LIs that are basically the other's personalities transplanted into a female body in order to have the relationship be anything close to what Buck and Eddie need in a life partner. These are all terrible options, and I hate them, more than I hate the idea of them ending up single even though it undercuts their own narrative set up for the characters but that's a cop-out too.

ANYWAY

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to everything about Buck's 700 shitty arcs this season while everyone else is mostly twiddling their thumbs. KR is literally the worst at pacing and planning, and constructing a season with any kind of flow. On the bright side, Ravi is coming back and Chim is going to get to do something! I'm so excited! I was really hoping for more of him and Bobby teaming up last week because the little crumbs we got were GOLD.

I did have a very emotionally rollercoaster-y week and the show being Like This absolutely Did Not Help, but I am making it work. Mostly with loooots of fic. Cheers friend, lets see if we can make it through the finale intact, if Buddie dreams can make it through the finale intact, and if the SHOW can make it through the finale intact with how these renewal negotiations are going.

[kellyvela]

Reading your fears about Jon and aunty + those quotes from GRRM about broad strokes + his recent post about how much is changing as he’s writing, I wonder if way back when he talked to D&D about the ending he did plan for an Ygritte 2.0 situation except Jon doesn’t actually fall in love with aunty, he’s just coerced into a relationship with her even though he’s in love with Sansa. s7-8 could be interpreted that way. But as GRRM has been writing, the story has evolved so while D&D were true to what GRRM told them, explaining GRRM’s statements about GoT being a “faithful” adaption, what he will actually do has diverged from how he thought things would go back then. Or do you think he is trying to be gracious when he talks about how closely they stuck to his story and we shouldn’t take that seriously?

I think GRRM knows his ending and his ending has to do with the major characters and the major plots. The other thousands of characters and plots are the deviations that George is talking about lately.

George also said that he will never be influenced by the Show, or fan theories or fan reactions. He also said something like: you will never please everyone, so at least I will please myself with my Books ending. In other words, he doesn't give a fuck about his readers liking or hating his ending, he will do whatever he wants.

I don't know how much he told D&D about his books ending, how detailed he was about the main characters, more than the broad strokes that can be: Bran is king at the end and aunty dies (in that final result, the Show was certainly "faithful"). Those are final positions that can be the same in Show and Books, but how those positions are reached is what will be different or even very different.

From what George and D&D said over the years, we know that: i) D&D knew that aunty was going to die, because they planned the scene of her death in the midst of GOT Season 3; and, ii) D&D knew that Bran was going to be king from their famous Santa Fe meeting with GRRM in 2013.

Now, to reach those endings D&D had the freedom to do anything (even including aliens and vampires), and with no source material, they deviated a lot (sadly with no aliens or vampires).

For example, the so called ice and fire romance. Jon doesn't need to have a romance with aunty to end up killing her, they can be enemies from the start. George said that boy meet girl, they hate each other at first but then fall for each other, is too predictable and boring and he hates stories like that. But despite that D&D did precisely that boring thing that George hates.

I think those big deviations were a source of conflict between GRRM and D&D (No Stoneheart, Sansa & Jeyne Poole switched arcs, etc), so much that George decided to step aside and stoped writing an episode per season as it was established in his contract.

George never said something negative directly to D&D, he even kinda praised them (what he said about GOT being faithful to his Books), but he also throws shades here and there. For example, he also said he hates stories where the focus is on action sequences and CGI, because the heart of the story is the human heart in conflict with itself, the core of the story must the the characters and not the CGI.

And the last shade I think it was the last paragraph of his latest interview:

Martin: There’s a lot of opportunity for expansion. That’s what we’ll find a lot of in the series. [What] Ryan and his team of writers have been doing great so far is to do an expansion that does not contradict the book. I mean, you can add a lot of things. You can add scenes. You can even add some characters. But you can’t do anything that affects the structure—or otherwise, three or four books later, you’re going to be in trouble. [Source]

See?

So we don't really know what details of the main characters endings are from George, except for the very final result: Bran is King and aunty dies. We know the what, but we don't know the how, when and where...

Thanks for your message :)

[obscurushydrae]

💬

[MEME]

The subway rattling was loud-- it wasn't its fault Abe explained to her. She learned about motors and all sorts of mechanical-y things from him, Still, it always made her feel on edge. But she was getting better at it. At least she was no longer trying to fight father's car--but she disliked it more because it meant being stuck in labs, rooms of drab walls for hours with nothing to do. People in white lab coats poking and prodding and measuring-- needles were the worst.

Whatever they were looking for they didn't seem to satisfied with the answers, leading her to more people in white coats and drab rooms. The big tube thing was one she hated more than the needles. It reminded her too much of the sarcophagus she was found in. Kar didn't like feeling helpless and stuck.

But things were good. She didn't have an episode in almost two months, so there were no doctors. And Hellboy was back from his latest investigation. He'd promised this for a long time, and now it was happening. They were going to spend the whole weekend together! No agents, just the two of them in New York. The hotel room was bigger than her room at home-- and one of the big beds were just for her!

Today they were going to beach and the aquarium to see the sharks. Tomorrow was the museum and finally seeing the dinosaurs! She'd been begging her dad to go to the museum to see the dinosaurs for ages. Abe had to go away with Liz--but she wished they were here too. She'd have to tell them everything when they got home.

Jelly sandaled feet kicked the air between them in anticipation. They were new-- Kate had taken her out to get a few things. Her new favorite shoes were sandals, clear and filled with glitter. Kar was so excited about them, everyone in the agency quickly learned about her new sparkly shoes.

Her big brother loomed over her, a bag slung over his shoulders. Not the usual tools of his trade, but instead a blanket, towels, and sunscreen. Liz lent him her polaroid camera, slung around his neck. He looked like a tourist from hell. People thought he was scary, but she didn't. He was happy too, though it didn't look like it to other people. She caught people staring at him on the subway-- so tall that he had to hunch down, the big, red, stone hand stood out more than anything. Sometimes he'd look up out to the window-- she couldn't see much more than the sky.

"Just one more stop." he assured, catching her restlessness. "When we get on the boardwalk, we gotta put your sunscreen on."

"Okay." she replied. "Why?"

"Do you wanna end up looking like me?" he joked. His natural tone was a bright red to begin with. Even if he could sunburn it'd be hard to notice.

"Yes." Kar replied without any hesitation.

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!" she insisted, her feet kicking faster. "We can switch places. I can go away and you can go to the doctor's for me."

He grinned a broad, craggy grin. If only.

"Sorry, dad's orders." He rumbled as the subway neared its terminal destination. "No sunscreen, no beach. Capisce?"

"Fiiiine."

[monstermaster13]

tW: Nathan's Craft. Nancy Downs TG/Possession theme NOTE: This is a parody of 'revenge-fics' and based on personal experiences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nathan Forester aka Monstermaster13 was a writer on Deviantart who was often chastised for having different tastes than others and he was often accused of doing the same material over and over, and that his works were 'revenge-fics' with nothing but references to shows or movies that he had seen and TV Tropes jokes...and while the latter did inspire him in many ways and sort of improved his life,  his work was far from that.  It's just he hated being typecast as that 'weird were-celebrity fic guy' because of his characters,  he never actually had any actual enemies online or in real life and even when they did they just only there for an episode or two and sauntered off afterwards.  One night when he returned home to his apartment and studio,  his manager came up to him with news regarding his latest novel.

He wasn't in the mood for news though as he sulked and sat himself down,  sighing and wondering why...'why do I always get vilified and treated like i'm the aggressor in those awful situations but the ones who call me out by trashing my work are the ones that start it?' 'Maybe they have trouble understanding how you handle criticism, sir'.  'I understand criticism just fine...and to me criticism is more complex than they think it is. You can't just say that something sucks for no reason and call it a day.'  'Maybe they think you hold grudges you can't let go of..'  'I was screwed over by my former allies,  my former allies plot to kill me in their own dreams...I can barely sleep at night without thinking about it.  When you've been through all the horrible shit i've been through,  you'd feel the exact same way too'.  'Aaaaw,  it's alright...it's not like everyone hates you or anything'.

"Oh really? Tell that to that annoying person I ran into work who pretty much did a revenge comic about me being killed by a demon version of Kool Kat from that awful movie.  They thought my opinion was irrelevant so they pretty much considered me to be a pain in the ass and that i'm not worth validating.  They're always like that."

"He was only like that because you didn't sign any of his petitions."

"How could I forget those?  Those egotistical petitions he made for people to sign to make him a galactic ruler/god,  that petition he made to have my DNA replaced with that of a snail,  that petition he made to make my characters species extinct even though you can't 'extinct' fictional characters.  All of those were ridiculous."

"What about how he claims you're attacking people who draw his characters?"

"That's bullshit if you ask me. If I favorite or comment on someone's depictions of someone else's character,  I am not berating them.  I am not that kind of critic. I do NOT go around claiming everything sucks and I do NOT hold grudges, because it's not healthy. Besides, the last time I did that I became overtaken by a demonic version of myself and nearly killed all of my own friends.  I hate being vilified and you know that I do."

"You will never be an antagoniser or villain to me."

"I won't?  But what about those people who think that I have problems letting go?"

"They don't know you well enough, you are a sweet-man...they're just letting what other people say about you get to them and cloud their judgement.  They too have demons,  they're just too afraid to admit it. Of course you're already familiar with your inner demons."

"You're right but still..."

Nathan didn't let what the critics said get to him as he started to write up a brand new Tales From The Web episode, and he wrote it about a writer much like himself who was vilified for something he didn't do,  he wrote up the episode's script and then wrote up the rest of it in the same period of time,  working on ways to make the story more interesting...he decided to make the writer a bit more sympathetic and gave him a reason for feeling the way that he did.  But just as he was about to get to the transformation scene,  something happened. His new laptop glitched up and froze,  he attempted to restart it several times but black smoke emerged from the screen and surrounded him, as a female spirit materialized in front of him.

Knowing this happened often with the possession angle of his own works,  he was fully aware he was witnessing a spirit materialize right before his very eyes,  but as he adjusted his glasses and took a closer look...he saw the spirit taking on the form of a perfect double of Nancy from The Craft. Nancy explained to him that she was one of the ghosts that he talked to in his dreams/visions and that she was the one that warned about his friends turning against him, which immediately sparked more than a few fires in his mind.  Nathan was a little bit afraid at first but all those dreams were coming back to him,  he remembered when his former school friends all tried to tear his limbs apart while they were undead,  he remembered the school dreams with the demonic teachers,  and he remembered how awful he felt regarding his friend Jason.  He remembered that one Pokemon dream he had about Jason.  Poor Jason was supposed to travel with him to the other new regions from the games/anime but got stuck in Hoenn and Sinnoh.  

"Jason....noooo...why? Why did he have to get lost and stuck like that? It must be all my fault."

"Nathan...it's not your fault.  It never was. You fixed it up when you brought him through the time-loop to the Alola region. You didn't lose him after all, he's always going to be there for you."

"That's awful sweet of you Nancy but I don't think..."

"Relax...i've got something that will cheer you up.  You like possessions, don't ya?"

"Well you've come to the right man in that case."

Nancy seductively floated around him before gesturing for him to open his mouth, which he did as she took on a transparent form and dived into his mouth and down his throat, thus possessing him in the process. He gasped and coughed for a little bit but he knew this was to be expected.  He gulped as his heart-beat pumped up and down in a rapid-fire fashion,  no...he wasn't having a heart-attack...because well,  he was the protagonist...killing off the protagonist was something he was very much against not even in his own work.  His eyes then gave off a supernatural glow as they turned neon green for a few brief seconds.  'Ah yes,  the iconic glowing eyes scene'.  

His skin slowly softened and smoothened as it became pale,  not enough to make him look like a vampire or a zombie but just pale in the sense that he looked like he was part of the goth/scene crowd. 'Thank goodness this is a normal goth type of pale and not pale greyish.  If it was the latter I would have probably thought that some overzealous Homestuck fan with dark magic powers was turning me into a troll like the ones from the comic'.  He always did have room for more than one quip,  even while transforming.  His chest and torso slowly contorted and slenderized, which felt odd to him at first but then he realized he always transforms anyway so this felt natural to him.

He examined his arms as they contorted and slenderized, his hands slowly shrinking a bit in size as his fingernails lengthened, black nail polish applying itself on them as two formations developed on his chest, swelling outwards into a pair of breasts as his clothing slowly shifted into the exact same outfit Nancy was wearing.  He heard a slight crunching sound as his hips/rear inflated but it didn't discomfort him,  he always knew that transformation scenes only were graphic and terrifying the first time around. Years of meditation and transformation practice sessions had blessed him with the ability to control his transformations and to do less painful sequences.  His feet slowly shrank down in size as his legs lengthened to match his arms.  There was a slight slurping sensation,  but that didn't alarm him.  He looked pleased with what was happening so far even as his privates retracted.

Nancy was influencing him in more ways than one,  all of his negative thoughts and proverbial chips on his shoulders faded into the proverbial shadows as his back arched and his shoulders shrank inward.  Every single insult and piece of negative criticism,  every piece of drama that had happened to him and involved him...all completely vanishing, he didn't need those anyway...he knew that he didn't have to be involved in stuff like that and he was past being used as a punching bag or target by those types of people.  Revenge wasn't something he was interested in anyway, because he didn't want to become evil...he was always neutral no matter what or who he turned into.  And even when he was fully corrupted by evil forces he was still himself.   He felt his hair with his hands as it lengthened, becoming messier and slowly turning from brown to jet black.  His neckline lengthened as a spiked collar materialized on it and two cross shaped earrings manifested on his ears.

His eyebrows thinned while his eyes darkened and widened, giving him a slightly crazy look as eyelashes blossomed around them and dark eye-makeup applied itself on them.  His nose shrank while his cheekbones sharpened and his lips plumped up and became luscious, his features softening and feminizing as they warped and contorted into Nancy's features,  he didn't need a mirror to see how much he now resembled her.  He smiled a little as his voice contorted to match his appearance, becoming Nancy's voice,  which is to say he now sounded like Fairuza Balk.  A few seconds later, Nancy influenced his mind further as their personalities and minds fused into one,  she was taking over him completely and making him into her.  All of the bad memories faded and disappeared along with any grudges he or 'she' previously had,  and Nathan felt like he had always been her,  as he or rather she spoke in her voice...she remembered she was Nancy Downs and she had been summoned from the Nightmare realm to help a down on his luck horror writer finish his story.

"Well I see you've transformed once again."

"Oh you know me...anyway,  i'm here to help with the rest of the episode."

"You sound like you know a lot about horror.  Tell me, how would you end this?"

Nancy stepped over to the computer and began work on re-writing the second half of the story and the transformation scene, she decided that rather than the transformation be a punishment set up on the writer by a disgruntled ex-fan, that the writer chose to be transformed himself as opposed to it being involuntary and that the reason for choosing to be transformed was because he was tired of people always wanting him to be what they expected him to be,  they vilified him and viewed him as a vicious psychopathic monster,  which he wasn't...only his critics thought of him as that. A few hours later,  Nancy called over the production crew to film and produce the episode.  The episode then got aired and shown on the Monster World's resident TV network and gained a lot of praise for it's daring depiction of an author who was put down upon.

And thus with that Nancy decided that rather than use her magic for evil or revenge purposes,  she decided to use them to help people and other monsters and especially help people who had been vilified online by hateful people and the like, proving she could be heroine material.  She was glad all those negative aspects of her life were over and all of those 'inner demons' of hers had been tamed,  she wasn't afraid of them any-way...especially considering that she was dark and sinister enough already without them.  But now she was using her dark powers for good.  And as for what happened later,  she decided to help out in the studios and to protect others from harm, now she was a heroine and no longer a villainess...she had learned a lot from her previous experiences.

Thus brings us to the lesson, revenge never solves anything...if someone chastises you or typecasts you or views you as an antagonist in their life it is best to just not let them get to you,  if they think you are an aggressor to them...they are clearly the ones who are guilty of being the real villain of the story, they put the blame on everyone else but themselves and if they blame you for no specific reason other than they just don't like you...they're not worth the time.  Holding grudges for long periods of time isn't healthy and really causes more trouble than help.  To all those who act like this who think that a simple hate-journal or revenge-fic is going to help you get rid of your problems, think about your actions...is what you're saying really true? Is all that hatred and scorn really worth it? Is it right to label someone you dislike as being a 'monster' when you yourself act are acting like this?  Drama is best kept a secret or better yet forgotten all-together,  if you get too worked up about someone mentioning your work or your characters or get paranoid about it to the point that you think that person is targeting artists or authors you like just because they mentioned your characters...then maybe you shouldn't be stirring up drama like that, especially if you have enough drama in your real life.   It's alright to be a little bit paranoid but to accuse someone of attacking you just because they have a different opinion on something than you...that makes you the true aggressor in the end.  Revenge doesn't solve anything, remember that.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

I'm not sure Gojo has ever even shown an interest to any girls.

He calls Utahime weak and teases her by making fun of her, essentially- which she hates. Mei Mei is incredibly strong and beautiful, and Gojo acknowledges her skill but that's it. I also noticed that in the anime (the manga doesn't have honorifics, so please correct me if I'm wrong) but he calls her Mei-san rather than Mei Mei. Therefore, I don't think he ever tried to get much closer to her than the interactions we've seen. When she asks him if he'd comfort her if she cried, he tells her that's she strong- she wouldn't cry. I thought it was interesting that while Mei Mei's question was slightly flirty, Gojo answered so simply, without any teasing.

He calls Shoko by her first name, which is understandable since they spend more time together being in the same grade. He realizes that her ability is rare and useful, but like with Utahime and Mei Mei he doesn't go any further than that. He mostly speaks to her about work related things and doesn't flirt or tease much at all.

Honestly, I think Gojo actually respects his female colleagues and mostly pokes fun at Utahime because she's so uptight and strict. Shoko and Mei Mei are more relaxed and self-assured, and Gojo recognizes their skills and compliments them for it rather than teasing them. I doubt Gojo really thinks Utahime is truly weak more than he just loves riling her up. Other than that, Gojo's pretty respectful.

Also, in the Hidden Inventory arc, Gojo was bombarded with screaming from all the girls excited to see him. Other than pulling his shades down so they could see his face- after they asked him to, btw- he didn't really do much else. He didn't even react much to the teacher giving him her phone number. His only comment was "what a fun school," and it's interesting to see that while lots of girls do appreciate his looks, he acts only mildly amused.

Other than that one model as his wallpaper, we don't really see Gojo flirt or show interest with anyone. He only really teases Utahime to piss her off- I suspect he hates how much she follows the rules like Nanami does, who he teases often as well. He likely just enjoys annoying people so stern because rules just don't sit well with him (especially because of what those "rules" had done to Geto).

It's just a possibility, but he could be one of those guys who's more interested in work than pleasure- I know, he's handsome, but not all handsome people are players and cheaters. I think that's a horrible stigma and a lot of attractive people irl are judged and criticized solely for their looks. People make too many assumptions on someone just based on their genes, and I think it's pretty shallow to think Gojo's a womanizer just because he's attractive. And he knows he's attractive- but when did being confident in yourself make you a philanderer? Gojo has never used his looks manipulatively at all.

It's definitely a possibility that he would be a womanizer, but I'd say it's unlikely based in what we've seen. To sum it all up, Gojo doesn't show interest in anyone. He teases Utahime often, likely for the same reason be teases Nanami- they're too uptight. Shoko and Mei Mei are both incredibly skilled and beautiful sorcerers, and he does acknowledge and compliment them for it, but he doesn't tease or flirt with them. He's respectful, and he works with them as his colleagues. He didn't get distracted by the teen girls fawning over him either, or suddenly get overtly cocky or show off, only sliding his glasses down so they could see his face, and even then he acted only mildly amused. Also, when Miwa asked him for a picture, he didn't even stay and chat with her or anything (I know she's a minor, but if he truly was a womanizer, he would have at least stayed to hear her compliment him or anything to feed his ego) Maybe ask her "Oh, you want a picture with me? The strongest? How cute~" A flirty comment, a joke, something to fuel his own ego, but he doesn't do that. He doesn't act in a way that conveys he openly pursues attention from women. He just takes the picture with her and walks off casually.

Therefore, other than the fact that he's handsome- and I know many people who would assume things about someone based on their attractiveness, which is a terrible stereotype- Gojo doesn't show much interest in flirting at all. He could be the type of guy who works more than plays- and there's plenty of guys who are handsome but aren't super interested in playing around. Being handsome doesn't automatically mean he's the type to sneak around and have affairs here and there. It's completely realistic for a handsome man to be uninterested in any kind of relationships- not all men are sex crazed, and being a tease to his friends doesn't make Gojo a flirt either. Teasing your friends is perfectly normal.

Therefore, Gojo being a 28 year old virgin is totally possible- not everyone's a sex crazed teen who only thinks about what's between their legs, and basing it on what normal Japanese teens do is unfair. Neither Gojo or his lifestyle is exactly normal, and there's definitely barriers when it comes to experiencing normal youth activities for Gojo's generation- especially Gojo's generation. Yuji's generation definitely has more freedom to do fun things because of what Gojo has done to give the youth more freedom- things he hasn't been able to experience himself in his youth, like playing baseball during the exchange event. That was the first time they ever did something different to tradition, and that was only because of Gojo's consideration.

Gojo's youth was filled with blood, exorcising, and choosing between life and death. The deaths Yuji and co. witnessed were what Gojo experienced as well, if not worse. Gojo's task in his youth was to protect the weak, and he found that burdensome. At least, until Geto betrayed them, and Gojo realized the new burden he had to bear in changing the Jujutsu world because of what it had done to his only best friend.

There are definitely more important things in Gojo's mind than just losing his virginity, like saving people and choosing who to save, whether he should kill or not kill.

Gojo is the strongest, but he also bears the biggest burden- and that burden is something he chose to bear, and being the strongest is something he chose to be. Because before Geto left, it was "We are the Strongest." Now, Gojo worked tirelessly so that he could say "I am the Strongest."

And that's not something you can do while sleeping around. I think a lot of people fail to recognize just how hard Gojo works for himself and others. They just think, oh he's the strongest, so it should be easy for him. But it's really, really not that simple, is it? Especially when you have to do it on your own, and even then Gojo realizes that his strength alone isn't enough to save people. He can't save everyone by himself- It's not enough for just him to be the Strongest, so he works diligently to build and inspire his students to stand with him.

He's actually a very deep and emotional man who cares about his students and especially, even now, his best friend. Everything he does is for their sake- he sacrifices the normal life he could have lived, like Nanami had done, for their sake. And he fights with the higher ups, takes the brunt of their ire, and laughs it off, acting as if he fine, like a dad pretending he's superman for his kid's sake. But Gojo is burdened, and he's tired, and he hardly sleeps, and he has the most missions- he's the Strongest, which means everyone needs him, and he bears it.

Sorry for ranting again tho. I think I went into two different topics lol oops- 🤔

OUR SAVIOR 🤔 EDUCATING PEOPLE pay attention ya'll another thing I've noticed in the latest episode is that in his phone contacts he actually writes Utahime's name properly like formally no emojis or teasing shit he actually sees them as his colleagues people he can rely on his field of work and yes about the whole thing when he bursted into riko's class man was absolutely clueless just silent as a teacher tries to give him his number. I'm pretty sure as a child Gojo wasn't allowed to attend public schools due him being in danger or putting others in danger so he doesn't know much about public schools or normal people in general since he spends all his time with people from the jujutsu society.

That is definitely true just because someone is good looking that doesnt mean he's some cheap womanizer. I see a lot of people shipping him and Utahime together which is understandable ship who you like but I don't think Gojo as any ulterior motives like wooing Utahime by teasing her he just is plainly teasing ya know like friends do but in this case Utahime hates his guts and he doesnt know. I mean it takes some amount of hate to try to throw hot tea at someone 😂

While certainly I agree Gojo's teen like wasn't the best it was like he literally had a full time job at that age but who's to stay he didn't go messing around one time? I'm sure during his teen days he wanted to experience things he didnt get to to but now could because he lives on his own now. But maybe he didnt at all who knows? Which also raises another question, I wonder if he has any romantic experiences? And this was all before what happened in the hidden inventory arc after that I can see him more becoming invested in his duty and with what happened with geto as well would of definitely had a huge impact on him to try harder even though hes the strongest so that the next generation wouldn't have to experience the things he went through.

It's really sad if you really think about it what hes been through and what he has to shoulder all while keeping the facade that he's okay, I bet there were times he cursed his powers and his life....but he bears with it anyways because everyone is counting on him....

And don't be sorry at all! I am actually really learning alot about Gojo from you. Please continue to tell us your thoughts and feelings. I don't mind at all ❤ and thank you for taking the time to write 💕