#i thought it was actual salad for a jot second there

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.

- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.

- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?

Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII

- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.

Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.

- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.

Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.

Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.

Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.

- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.

- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭

- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.

Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.

- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).

Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?

- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.

- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.

Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.

Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.

- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.

Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.

Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.

- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi

Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.

- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔

- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.

Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.

- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"

- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.

- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.

- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.

Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.

- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.

- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???

- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣

Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.

- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.

Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.

- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.

- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.

- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.

[limenysnocket]

●The Blush Bet●

Pt. IV: The Do-Over

Summary: After finally getting his feelings out in the open, Taika decides that it's right about time that he takes (Y/N) out for a proper date. He calls it a do-over for the last one he took her on.

Request: @honorarytenenbaum

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol and quite a bit of car se- I mean, smut.

A/N: Hehehhh, I've had this idea in my head for the longest time. Peak Taika time, you guys. Drunk Taika time... Touchy feely Taika time... a bit of riding Taika time... OH, this is the last part, by the way. I'll stop bothering you with this story. Lol

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You stared at the new dress in the mirror. Pure white, strappless, slits down both legs and a lovely, black belt around the waist. Taika outdid himself this time and, a lot like the bad date he took you on, he didn't tell you much about where you were going or what the night would entail, but you couldn't be any happier than you were now.

You smoothed out the bottom half of the dress and tucked a sweet little hair behind your ear. For once, you were happy to be dressed up by someone else. You couldn't help but be a little nervous, though. You were always so nervous before dates, even if you knew the guy pretty well. You just had a tendency of worrying about tripping over your heels or going to the bathroom then come out with the back of your dress tucked into your underwear. You had nothing to worry about this time, but you still worried.

Your phone suddenly went off and made you jump. You reached for it, a gentle smile on your face as you read the notification.

'I'm outside, darling. Hope you're just as excited as I am! ;)'

You giggle to yourself, tuck your phone in your handbag and take one last look at yourself, as if you thought there was a massive smudge in your makeup that could ruin your night. You put on a smile, fix a little uncomfortable place in your heel, did a little body wiggle and went to your door and opened it.

Your smile got wider. The man of the hour was standing right in front of you, dressed in a navy blue tux and a snow white rose in the breastpocket. His hand was holding yours, the moment he saw you and he brought you closer with just a simple beckoning tug.

"Your boyfriend must have wonderful tastes, because that dress looks absolutely amazing on you," Taika purred with a kiss to the back of your hand.

"Well, my boyfriend is pretty wonderful," you hummed back and softly tugged your hand away so you could wrap your arms around his neck. He set his hands on your waist and leaned down to press his lips against yours. Your bottom lip was encased in his and you felt his hands creep away from your waist, to your hips, then to your ass. You had to pull away from the kiss before he could do that, "No, no, sir. We can't do that yet. We still have a date."

Taika only half groaned, but you knew he didn't mind. He must have made one hell of a reservation if it even made him pass up the opportunity for sex.

"Your ride awaits you, madam and sir," you heard someone call from down on the curb and you leaned to look past Taika, who briefly moved to look with you.

"Holy shit-- You brought Robert too?" You smiled and looked up at Taika. He was grinning and biting his bottom lip slightly.

"Just wouldn't be the same without him. I'd miss him if I didn't let him drive tonight," Taika said, taking your hand in his and escorting you down to the curb.

"Good evening, miss!" Robert greeted you with a very bright smile and a tip of his cap.

"Robert, my lanta! You have no idea how great it is to see you!" You smiled right back at him. "Did you ever get together with that one woman you saw outside that restaurant?"

"I actually did," Robert smiled. "Never knew a chap like myself could get a date at my age! I'm actually going out with her, tonight, thanks to Mr. Waititi!"

"Oh, really now?" You cocked a brow and grinned over at your date who was casually and quietly enjoying the banter he wasn't involved in.

"Wanted him to have a little fun too, doll. I was gonna tell you, don't be surprised when we end with a new driver back home tonight," he smiled down at you and nudged you with his hip.

"Well, no time to waste! Your evening awaits you!" Robert bounced on his heels then opened the door. Luckily, it wasn't an old fart limo that you were riding in tonight. It was a sleek, black, luxurious Mercedes that he was taking you in tonight and you were extremely flattered with all the effort Taika was putting in for you. It almost turned you on... almost.

During the ride to the more rich side of town, Taika kept his hand on your thigh and gently rubbed every now and then. You would turn and give him a cheeky little grin and a wink. You knew he wanted a little something before he left for the night.

You expected to pass the big fancy restaurant that he had teased you in front of, but when you ended up parking right in front of it, you nearly got whiplash from how hard your head snapped in Taika's direction. "Pulling the same joke twice isn't funny, Waititi!" You pout, almost and he snickers.

"This isn't a joke! Richard, tell her this isn't a joke, so she'll believe me!" Taika said, almost in an exasperated tone.

Richard turned the car off and in a very merry voice he said, "It's not a joke, miss! He even showed me his online ticket to prove he had a reservation this time!"

You're face was expressionless for a very long while. It was like Ross whenever he found out he was the father of Rachel's baby.

"You promise this isn't a fib?" You ask the man next to you, quietly. Your lip was softly quivering.

"I have no reason to lie to you anymore," he said back with a very warm gaze and a matching smile. His fingers interlocked with yours and he brought it up to kiss the back of your hand again. Gosh, you loved it when he did that.

Richard eventually got the two of you out of the car, and you waved goodbye to him, side you wouldn't be seeing him after dinner. He told you that his date was waiting for him down the street, then waved you off as well to have your pleasant evening and pleasant dinner with Taika in the most expensive restaurant in the entirety of L.A.

You could practically smell the money on the people around you while they stuffed themselves fat on cash salads.

"I swear, if they end up taking us down to a sub-basement or something for people who want to think their eating rich, I'm going to flip my shit," you said teasingly while you secretly looked around at the sparkling chandeliers with much awe and admiration.

"I don't even think this place has a sub-basement, so you're in luck!" Taika laughed as he pulled you along, up to a waiter where he flashed him the reservation on his phone. The waiter, dressed in a deep red vest and black slacks, nodded at the confirmation, grabbed two menus then escorted you to your table, which just so happened to be on the second floor. Lucky you, you got to go through the little archway leading to the stairs, gayly dressed in evergreen leaves and electric lights.

As you sat down at your seat, you took the time to admire the place even more. The food made your stomach growl, the lighting cast upon Taika's face made your heart flutter and you were dressed ever so perfectly. Wow... just a week ago, you could have never imagined Taika doing something so lavish for you. Now, it felt like every act of kindness he did for you was a gift from the king, himself.

"Enjoying the scenery, darling?" You heard Taika say from across the table and it caught your attention in a flash.

"How can I not be?" You said, giving him a warm, wide smile. It made him melt, you could tell. The look he had made it easy to spot that he was falling deeper in love with you, right before your very eyes. He reached over for your hand and once he had it, he caressed it with his thumb. He continued to hold it while he spoke to you, all the way up until the scheduled bottle of wine arrived and the waiter was back to take your order...

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"I don't know about you, but that sirloin certainly stuffed me," Taika giggled at his own alliteration and you laughed along too, as he guided you back down the lavish stairs and back out the arch. Your arm was hooked around his, and while you both made your way out the building, you talked about whimsical story ideas that both of you brewed up together and wouldn't probably pull through with, but it was still so much fun to see what stirred within your collided imaginations. The real reason you were hanging off of each other is, because both of you happened to be quite wine drunk at the moment, and didn't care enough to notice.

You both reached the curb and were still bubbling away, since the Mercedes was running a tad slow, but all was well.

It eventually fell quiet between you two and your just stared into each other's eyes, exasperated with how much you both just shared with each other and taking a few moments to look back at the story you created. It was a mixture of feelings, jotting out in random directions, rough around the edges, but soft as an angel's wings. You couldn't be happier with it.

"Before we start taking notes," you said, laughing and tucking a stray strand if hair behind your ear, "I just want to say... I think this is the best date I've ever had. No, I'm not trying to inflate your ego, but... You deserve it this time. I'm proud of you, Tai, as weird as it is." You giggle at your own speech and lean in to kiss his forehead. Instead of his forehead, however, you come in contact with his lips instead, by his own devices.

He kissed you wantonly and almost needingly. You willingly fell prey to the kiss and slipped into a coma-like state where his lips were the only thing you needed to keep living. When you two parted, you panted and blushed immensely. You could taste the wine on his lips. You both had quite a few glasses, you'll admit...

His cheeks were a salmon color and his eyes were now glossed over, lips the lightly stained with your lipstick. You found yourself blushing even more at the sight. "So," you said with a hiccup resonating in your chest, "my place or yours?"

"Oh, sweetheart, I don't think we're even going to make it to either of those places," he smirked down at you and bit his lip. You gulped, because the sleek Mercedes pulled up right next to the two of you and a brand new driver hopped out and opened the door.

Taika pressed a feather light hand on your back and guided you into the backseat of the car. You could have sworn you felt his hand hovering over your ass at some point in time.

Once the two of you were in the car and the door was shut, it was all dark and very quiet, except for the slow breathing of you and the other two people in the car and the quiet radio, turned to an oldies station.

Your heart rate seemed to increase. You felt Taika's hand slither over to the slit in the leg of your dress and he quietly felt around it, until he slipped his hand completely under it. You said nothing, but you couldn't help but reach for his sleeve, encouraging him on. If this was going to happen, you needed to remain quiet.

He teased you for the longest time as the car creeped through slow traffic. He didn't start getting down on you until you had reached the first stoplight of what you might say be fourteen or so on.

His fingers teased your clit through your damp panties and he rubbed the cloth in slow circles. You had to bury your face into his arm to stop yourself from begging him for more. He suddenly nipped the shell of your ear to make your breath hitch and he chuckled, "Such a good girl~, being all quiet for daddy~." His other hand has now joined the games and started to grip and massage your warm thigh.

Taika continued to drive you insane by teasing the hem of your panties, not knowing if he should mess with the real thing or not. He wanted to be patient, Taika did... but Drunk-Taika was never a man of patience, as far as Taika, himself, knew.

You were so close to moaning, biting down on Taika's sleeve, whenever he suddenly yanked both of his hands away from you, leaving you a horny mess, beside him. You looked up at him in the dark, confused and a little upset, but he said nothing and waited until the next stoplight.

The car peeled into a stop, slowly, behind other cars. Taika made quick work of unbuckling both your and his seatbelts. Now, you were curious.

Taika dug around in his wallet for a moment, pulled out a couple hundreds and leaned forward so his head poked up right beside the driver, who was startled by the encounter. "I'm going to pay you a very big tip," Taika said to the driver in a very low, husky voice, "and you're going to let me fuck my girlfriend in the back seat. How does that sound?" Taika waved the large sum of cash in front of the man's face. You heard the driver gulp, then you saw him nod through the faint blackness.

"Good man," Taika chuckled deeply and set the cash down in the cup holder. "If I catch you looking back, it's getting taken away." Taika warned him, but didn't warn you as he sat back down and grabbed you by the hips as the car started to move again. He sat you on his lap and he nearly ripped the zipper on the back of your dress down, then tore the entire thing off of you.

"Told you we wouldn't make it~," Taika growled seductively and it made your walls really start to soak as he licked his chops like a feral dog, right in front of you.

"T-Taika~," you breathed softly by his ear, so he would be the only one to hear it.

"Always so shy in the beginning," Taika sighed and, yet again, without another warning, he smacked your ass, making you yelp. "What's the name I go by, when we fuck, doll~? I want to hear you say it."

"D-Daddy~," you moaned a little louder this time, so you didn't have to whisper.

"Good girl~," Taika smirked within the darkness. Before you knew it, his lips were on yours and this kiss was much more feral than the last one you received from him. He bit your bottom lip and tugged at it, his nails scraped across your thighs and he shoved his tongue down your throat. He was holding nothing back with you and it made you desperately moan. It was surprising that even the driver wasn't leapfrogging the car all over the place and was managing to keep his cool amidst the sinful sounds you made with only your mouth.

You felt Taika's hand creep up your thigh and to the hem of your panties again. Instead of just tugging them down, he decided to be slow and push them down, all the while feeling up the newly revealed skin.

His lips departed from yours, so you could breathe and also so he could start leaving deep hickeys all across your skin. "You're daddy's little slut, aren't you~? You and that soaked pussy, all just for me~?" He growled and bit harder, causing you to moan out and shake. Upon getting no real response, he grunted and slapped your ass again with his rough palm. "You better answer me, babe~. Otherwise, this can go on all night long~."

You gulped and finally found enough consciousness to nod. "Yes, daddy~," you moaned and you could practically feel the driver shuddering in the front seat.

Taika's strong erection poked at your thigh and he bucked against it from time to time. "Wanna go for a ride baby~?" He purrs to you, against your ear once more once your panties are all the way off and his other hand occupies itself with unclipping your strapless bra, just so he can see your breasts bounce whenever you start your ride.

You nod eagerly and quickly go after his belt, the drool only making your neediness all the more crystal clear. He lets you do your thing, smirking and watching you as you go after his cock like a wild animal. You eventually get his pants down low enough to where his cock springs free and you manage to tear off his suit jacket and tie in the process.

He gripped onto your hips and started guiding you down to his tip whenever the case came to another stop.

"W-We're here, sir..." the man mumbled from the frontseat, quivering, worried about what he just interrupted. Your turned your head to see that the car was now pulled into Taika's driveway. You were disappointed for a moment and a moment only, until Taika grabbed your chin and forced it to face him so you were making intense eye contact with him again.

"Drive." Taika said, his eyes still locked onto yours.

"What?" The man said, nearly forgetting his oath to not turn around and see the scene playing out in the backseat.

"Drive. Around the block or some shit... this won't take me long," Taika growled again, this time harsher. Your throbbing cunt was waiting for him, so you didn't mind. The driver took a moment to register everything before nodding and getting back out on the road again.

The moment the car started to move, Taika's grip intensified, then, he no longer hesitated to let you hover. He full fledged slammed you down on him and you let out your most sinful moan yet of his nickname.

"Yeah~. You like bouncing on daddy's cock, don't you~?" He growled and made you start moving, just to get you going. Once you were at a pace both you and him liked, he slipped his hands from your hips and to your ass, sinking his nails into the soft flesh while the two of you made love in the back of the car. He slapped your ass a couple times. Sometimes, to the point where it was almost beat red. It may have been, if you could see the color through all of the inky blackness surrounding the two of you.

"Fuck~, you're a fucking goddess~," Taika hissed through bared teeth, "Such a tight pussy~. God fucking damn it~."

His sultry moans started to match yours as time passed by and by. Loud, wet slaps of skin on skin and the sounds of your dirty panting filled the car with nothing but disgusting nature. Your hands gripped his shoulders as you were almost positive the back half of the car started to rock beneath the intense amount of force.

"Taika~ You're cock is so fucking perfect~. Fuck~!" You cried out, burying your face in his neck, only to be tugged away by a tough grip on your hair. You hissed, but you went quiet as you looked into Taika's brown eyes that stared into your soul, that dominated you, that owned you and that tight little pussy of yours. All of it was his and he was about to make it cum.

"T-Taika~. I don't know how much longer I can hold~," you moan in his ear as your bouncing becomes a little desperate and a lot rougher, to the point where Taika puts his hands back on your hips to control the wavering speed.

"Beg for it~," Taika said lowly. You could tell he was close too, by the familiar pattern it he pulsation of his cock.

"Please, daddy~. I want this, I need this~. Please, let me cum all over your fucking perfect cock~," you begged him with whatever strength you had left in your body.

"Cum for me," Taika said after a long overdue stare at your bouncing breasts, "do it right fucking now~."

His command was fulfilled in the next few seconds. He felt your juices squirt all down your thighs and a little dribbled onto his pants, but that was alright. He didn't mind one bit.

Now, it was his turn to make his thrusts turn reckless and violent. He shoved himself up into you, panting and moaning your name while he got you over the hills of your scream-filled orgasm. "Where do you want me to cum, doll~?" He growled during the last remaining seconds of his powerful fucking.

"In me~," You begged, wanting to feel him fill you up like the slut you are this time, and you were glad to see that he was happy to oblige. The next thing you knew, you felt strings of hot seed filling your walls and painting you white. That whiteness seeped down your thighs and dripped onto the car seat. The hot stink of sex filled the car and it got to the point where the driver cracked a window, once you two were finished.

Hot damn... you're going to have to make bets with Taika more often...

[probably-writing-x]

If it was me

Tom Holland x Reader

Based on If It Was Me by Sarah Close (A beautiful song and her EP comes out at midnight!)

If you want to be tagged, just let me know <3

The rain was relentless as you hurried through the door with it’s all too familiar bell calling behind you. The entire place was practically empty as you stepped through, slipping the hood from your hair and shaking off the ends that had still managed to fall victim to the downpour. There’s a welcome smell of coffee clawing at your nose and far too little chatter from the few couples that had bothered to come out in this weather on a Thursday morning. It’s simply instinct when you take the seat you’d always sat at here, right by the window with a typical British view of the forest outside, it was occasionally scattered with minimal litter but was a view you’d always associate with a good memory - perhaps until today.

Today, you’d invited Tom to meet you at this exact spot - having split up with him over a very stressful argument. You’d argued for at least two hours before you decided to call it a day and left his flat. It had been reaching that point anyway and both of you could tell you were getting nowhere with relentless arguing and never really listening. It wasn’t healthy so you’d left with tears streaming down your face. Though, that’s not how you’d want things to end - you wanted to hear each other’s side properly.

It would be so easy to avoid. You could walk out of that exit before he arrived, and he’d know that you’d just given up on the two of you. That would be it - maybe you’d just see him in a few months time and you’d both have moved on by then. He was late anyway - you’d agreed to meet at eleven. He hated being late for things when you two were together; was he trying to prove a point? It’s not because of the rain, that would’ve made him quicker if anything. Tom’s likely to be rehearsing a thousand arguments in his head for why you were to blame in this situation. You’d been doing the same for him.

Then, there it is. A bell at the door that settles an unnerving fear in your chest, nerves building too quickly to be controlled. How could he have this effect? He was a boy that you’d loved. That you still did love. The fear was likely to come from the worry of him no longer feeling the same.

Tom tugs down his hood and readjusts the cap on his head - like he was trying to make himself as invisible as possible. His eyes instinctively go towards the table he’d expect you to be at as he starts to make his way over.

“Hi,” He begins, dragging out the chair opposite you as it wobbles slightly on the uneven floor.

“Hey,” You reply, trying to clear your throat so your voice wouldn’t sound so weak, “How have yo-“

“Good morning guys, what can I get for you?” The waiter is young and definitely new to working in here, you’d never seen him before.

Tom clears his throat, “I’ll take a flat white please mate. Same for you?”

You nod in response, almost struck by the fact that he was actually sat across from you - neither of you were yelling yet.

“She’ll have with some cold milk too, please,” Tom comments and waits for the waiter to jot down the note before he walks away, “You still do that, right?”

You smile just a little, “Yeah, they always make them too hot.”

He nods with a gentle smile too but it feels forced against the tension between you.

“How have you been?” You get back to asking - it would be ridiculous for you two to start fighting before even the simple question had been asked. You wanted to keep this calm for as long as possible.

“Okay, I guess. We’re finished with Cherry now,” He explains shortly, nodding politely to the waiter as your drinks are brought over, “What about you?”

It’s just like normal when your drinks are sat in front of you and you pour in the colder milk to lighten the temperature just a little. But his foot should be bumping against yours, and his gaze should never leave your eyes for a second.

“I’ve been okay,” You respond, “Busy, I guess.”

“I have some of your stuff at home still, I’ll see about getting that back to you soon.”

“Oh, no, you’re in no rush honestly - whenever is fine.”

“I’d rather get it out of the house if I’m honest - it doesn’t seem healthy to keep your ex-girlfriend’s stuff, right?”

It sounds like a comment at which you should laugh but it feels like a stab in the heart. He must see how your face falters.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that in a bad way! It’s just that I-“ He stops himself, “You ended things.”

“I think we were both to blame for things ending, Tom,” You respond - here it comes.

He scoffs and it’s that confidence that you’d normally adore but had grown to dislike, “No, correction, we were both to blame for things getting bad. You were the one that called things off, gave up on everything.”

You clench your jaw to stop your bottom lip from trembling, “You know it wasn’t like that, T. You’d have done the same thing if you were me.”

“No, I would’ve tried to make things better - if you really cared, you’d have done exactly that.”

“Really cared?!” You half-exclaim, “You’re really going to tell me that I didn’t care about us?”

“Well, you didn’t care enough to stay with me,” He shrugs, taking a long sip of his coffee and hissing at the temperature.

You push over the half-empty cold milk and watch as he eyes you suspiciously before giving in and pouring it in.

“I stayed for longer than I should’ve done Tom,” You say it before you have the chance to overthink, “The nights sleeping in different beds, arguing over the stupidest of things, snapping at each other and saying stuff we would’ve never meant - that’s not a healthy relationship.”

“You’re going to talk about healthy? You were telling my fucking best friend more about our relationship than I knew!”

His raised tone catches the attention of the few other people here but they’re quick to look away again.

“Tom, we didn’t communicate. I’ve never felt more alone, I know I should’ve spoken to you but Harrison listened - and he was my friend too, he still is,” You defend yourself, trying to pull the tone back to normal.

He shakes his head, “You can’t say that I didn’t at least make an effort to change things.”

He really thought he hadn’t put a foot wrong - like it was all on your shoulders. The boy you’d seen as faultless was now telling you that he was, when you’d seen enough to tell you that he was far from it - everybody was.

“This is hopeless if this is how we go about things Tom.”

You stay in silence for far too long after that and it’s a relief this time when the waiter returns to take your food orders. You order a superfood salad and Tom orders a sandwich.

“That comes with the crisps that you don’t like,” You comment, like it was something so blaringly obvious as a change in him. It was petty really but it was like you still wanted him to be exactly the same as the Tom you’d left.

“I know, but you love them.”

And, just like that, your heart breaks between adoration and irritation. And you’re not sure which takes the bigger half.

As simple as it is, the two of you stay in silence whilst awaiting your food. You look between the table, the window, the empty tables around you - but try to force yourself to not look back at Tom. Eventually, it becomes nearly impossible. You see everything of a boy that you’d found your match in. He was honest, funny, loving, ambitious - you couldn’t possibly ask for more. But relationships become stretched over time, pulled between external commitments, fear, and the sickening thought of it ending. It pained you that something like that had changed your opinion of him completely. All it would take would be for him to own up, apologise to you and admit that his actions had been wrong. You’d do exactly the same. You would change it. You’d have been kinder when he’d been stressed about work. You’d have used words that were a little wiser when you were trying to explain why you were annoyed, rather than letting your emotions get the better of you.

- - - - - -

It feels like a lifetime before your food finally arrives. You two hadn’t said a word for that whole period of time until the waiter sets down your food and you quietly thank him.

Tom reaches over a hand to hand you the pot of vegetable crisps and you reach back for it with shaking hands.

“You’re shaking,” He observes, not releasing his half of the pot as his finger brushed yours.

“Sorry,” You shake your head, setting your hands on the table to stop the trembling.

“Is it me?”

“No, no,” You’re quick to assure him, “I’m just not good with confrontation, I can’t deal with it well.”

He looks at you hopelessly and sighs, “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

“I think we both did T,” You smile a little, “We’ve done it a lot to each other.”

It’s another instinct when his hand reaches over and brushes yours, holding it over your fist until it loosens and your fingers intertwine.

“I didn’t mean for things to happen like this. I just think there’s a lot that we both want to say to each other,” He admits, looking younger and softer than he had done previously.

His other hands moves up to remove the cap from his head as he drags a hand over his growing hair.

“What would you have done differently?” You ask it too quickly, “About us? What would you change?”

Tom’s eyes brush over your features, scanning between your eyes, your nose, your lips that he could easily seal with a needed kiss.

“I’d admit that I wasn’t fair,” He takes in a deep breath, “I’d be honest with you when I was struggling with things, I’d have told you when I didn’t like how things were going or when I was so scared of losing you that I’d stay awake all night after we’d argued. I didn’t tell you any of that because it’s like admitting it would scare me even more.”

When his bottom lip trembles, you have half a mind to reach over and grip his face and tell him it was all okay.

“I hate who I became at the end (Y/n). I was thoughtless, completely and utterly thoughtless.”

“That’s not true,” You interject, “We both should’ve done things differently but neither of us were fully to blame.”

His hand squeezes yours, “I know. But I’ve been so reluctant to apologise because I was trying to prove to myself that I didn’t need anybody else. And, really, I think all I needed during that whole time was for you to hold me and tell me we’d make it through.”

“Me too,” You’re whispering because you want this moment to be concealed between the two of you.

Yet again, that’s how you stay. Though, this time, your eyes stay focused on his and every part of him that you’d missed - the parts that had become clouded by all of the bad that you’d both built up.

You’re not sure how much time has passed before the waiter returns once again.

“I’m sorry, but are you guys going to be eating your food? I can wrap it up to takeout if you’d like. We kind of have limits on how long people can be sat at the-“

“Yeah, we’ll take it to go buddy,” Tom says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a note, “Take that to cover the bill please.”

During that whole interaction, his hand doesn’t leave yours and neither do his eyes as they remain solely focused on everything about you.

- - - - - -

It feels like a snap second after when you’re driving back in the passenger seat of Toms car - having accepted his offer to avoid you walking home. The rain was still shattering the streets outside.

He pulls up outside of your apartment block and sets on the hand brake, “Thank you for meeting me today, we needed this.”

You look at him with a soft smile and nod, “Yeah, I think we did too.”

He shifts his grip on the steering wheel and shuffles in his seat like he was nervous, “So where does this leave us?”

You can’t help but chuckle a little, “I’d call it the healing process. We both need space to understand what’s happened and reset after everything - I don’t know how much time that will take but it’s necessary. But I don’t think we’re ready to completely close the doors on all of this.”

“The healing process, I like that,” He smirks, “And, whenever you’re ready, I’ll still be stood with my foot in the door to stop you from closing it.”

You laugh and grab your bag from the floor, “Bye, Tom.”

“See you soon.”

[t0ngue-tech]

All Yours | Seven

“’Was I not enough for you…?’

Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.

‘Yoongi, I’m so sorry.’ She said sadly.”

↠fluff, angst, universityAU↞

word count: 4.5k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ↞

A/N: yall idk what’s gotten into me. i literally just uploaded a story and here i am with the update of all yours lmao. tbh ive also been working on this chapter for a while so tyj i finished it huhu. enjoy ^-^

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“Come on, Yoongi. Just text her.” You stood in front of your mirror and adjusted your hoodie.

From the moment you woke up, had a cup of coffee, took a shower, and changed into an outfit, Yoongi spent the entire time debating if he really wanted to text Seolhyun. You agreed to go with him to see her because it was his stipulation, but he was the one hesitating.

“You know what, maybe I don’t need closure. It’s all good.” Yoongi placed his phone on your nightstand and laid back down.

“Ugh. Yoongs.” You grumbled and strode over to sit beside him. “Sure you may not need closure, but I know deep down you want to talk about your feelings. You don’t deserve to be cheated on—nobody does. Please text her.”

Yoongi glared at you for a few seconds before he softened his eyes. He mumbled something along the lines of I hate it when you’re right and reached for his phone but took a detour to grab your hand first.

“So, you promise you’re going to come with me? You’re not going to flake out?” He kept his eyes on your fingers as you lazily grazed the back of his hand.

Could he get any more adorable?

“I promise.” You replied earnestly. “But I start work at three today, so keep that in mind.”

Yoongi squeezed your hand and locked eyes with you. Never in your life did you ever picture yourself to be in this position. He held your hands before, mainly to guide you around places when you were extremely drunk but nothing like this. Yoongi had a sweet look in his eye with a smile to match and you were so sure you were dreaming. Yoongi was perfect. Why would Seolhyun want to cheat on him in the first place?

“Okay. Now, go to class.” Yoongi lifted your hand and kissed it. Your cheeks flared a bit and you probably failed to hide the disappointment in him not kissing you on your lips instead.

“Fine. But go outside and take a walk,” you gave him your dorm key. “You need some sunlight.”

After listening to Yoongi’s bullshit excuse about how sunlight was never necessary for him in the first place, you left his side to slip on your sneakers.

Why can’t time just fast forward to later? I just want Yoongi and Seolhyun to meet already so it can all be over with and done. How am I supposed to even focus in class?!

“Wait.”

Yoongi’s voice broke your thoughts and you stood up from your floor. He scooped you by your waist to press your body against his before stealing a long kiss on your lips. You felt your entire body relax and you clutched onto his nape to support yourself.

“You may have more knowledge about people’s behaviors and shit, but I know you well enough that you were waiting for that, right?” Yoongi said with a smirk after breaking the kiss. Your face bloomed crimson and you playfully shoved him a few inches away from you.

“Bye, Yoongi.” You walked away from him with bliss coursing through you and just before you stepped out of your dorm, you caught the satisfied grin on Yoongi’s face.

↠↞

I will die in this developmental psychology class, I swear.

Time in your psychology class always ticked on like you had nothing else planned for the day. You jotted down chicken scratch notes, promising yourself to fix them up when you had time later; thank goodness your professor put up the lecture slides at 7pm on the same day of class. You began to mindlessly doodle at the bottom of your paper.

So many things could go wrong later.

Three stick figures were drawn at the bottom; one with a crude drawing of a beanie, one with hair just below its “shoulders”, and one with long hair blacked out with your pen. You drew scribbles of symbols around the drawing of the figure with long hair indicating how pissed off Seolhyun would be if she saw you two together.

Ugh. I can hear her voice now.

“Why did you bring her?”

“Unless you were cheating on me first!”

You scribbled all over the drawing and turned over the page.

The same stick figures were drawn at the top this time and instead of symbols, you drew tears coming from the figure with long hair and hearts around the beanie figure; Seolhyun would be in tears, apologizing and begging Yoongi for forgiveness and he would play right into her and fall in love all over again.

This time, you fiercely scribbled over the drawing.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Like clockwork, you drew the stick figures. Hearts were drawn around the beanie and medium haired figures while the last one had a giant X covering its face; Seolhyun is completely cut out of the picture and forced to watch how lovey-dovey you and Yoongi were.

This drawing caused your face to heat up a little. There was no way Yoongi would show any affection towards you in front of her because he wasn’t the type to purposely make matters worse.

One last time the figures were drawn back onto your paper and this time, you drew speech bubbles with squiggly lines inside that ended with periods and a few exclamation points. The most likely scenario would be a calm conversation with a few outbursts between Yoongi and Seolhyun. The last thing anyone would want is making a huge scene in front of everyone—

Wait, I don’t even know where they’re meeting!

[10:32] You: hey, where are you two going to have this conversation anyway??????????

Yoongi’s reply came through like lightning.

[10:33] Yoongz: You know the benches outside of the library?

[10:33] Yoongz: There.

Great. We’re going to be in public…

His texts didn’t stop there.

[10:35] Yoongz: I told her to meet me at 11:15 so that you have time to be here before she comes.

[10:35] Yoongz: I’ll be wearing the light brown coat you gave me for my birthday and the blue beanie you hate so much

[10:36] Yoongz: You’ll be able to find me pretty easily.

That damn beanie.

The mental image of Yoongi in the blue beanie made you snicker, but you quickly cleared your throat realizing you were in class laughing to yourself like an idiot.

[10:40] You: okay. i’ll see you then

[10:40] You: fuk that beanie doe omfg.

↠↞

“So you’re seriously going to be there? With Yoongi and Seolhyun? Possibly arguing in front of you? Right in front of your salad?!”

Walking to the library, you gave Hani a quick call to update her with everything that had happened since you told her about Seolhyun cheating on Yoongi.

“Yes, right in front of my salad.” You laughed. “To be honest, I’m kind of scared. Like why did Yoongi have to say he kissed me! Actually… I don’t know what would be worse, her knowing the truth or his lie.”

“Either way she’s going to raise hell, but if you need me, you call and I’ll come running!”

You smiled softly. Hani was serious in the most endearing way possible.

“I know—” Yoongi’s blue beanie stood out at a table underneath one of the large trees. “Yoongi’s there. I’ll call you later Hani or better yet, I work at three so you can come to the coffee shop anytime after that and I’ll update you on what happens.”

“Okay. Be safe. I love you!”

“I love you, too.”

You took a deep breath and approached Yoongi who had two cups of coffee and two sandwiches sitting in front of him. As much as you hated that damn beanie, he still looked as handsome as ever.

“Hi, Yoongs.” You smiled.

Yoongi instantly smiled at the sight of you. “Hey—no, sit by me.” He reached for your hand to stop you from sitting across from him and tugged you over to sit beside him instead.

The action startled you and almost made you lose your footing, but Yoongi supported you by the waist to let you sit down without injury.

“Th-Thanks.” You stuttered.

“Oh, here you go by the way.” He handed you a paper gift bag that he probably stole from your closet. “You left your work shirt and shoes. There’s also a water bottle in here because you need actual hydration and not just coffee swimming throughout your bloodstream.”

Everything he mentioned was sitting neatly inside the bag and your smile was impossible to hide. You’ve been nervous and jittery about meeting with Seolhyun that you completely forgot about your work clothes. Yoongi was a life saver.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You breathed.

“Of course. Now eat, you didn’t even have breakfast this morning.”

As you had brunch, you spent the time complaining to Yoongi about how developmental psychology makes you want to jab multiple pens in your eyes. He argued that you say that about every class you have and even flicked your forehead.

“You’re doing great though, so keep on keepin’ on.” Yoongi rubbed the spot he flicked with the pad of his thumb.

You felt the weight of your school work elevate at the touch of his finger. Yoongi had the power to relieve any stress that you had in the palm of his hand and it amazed you. Maybe this was just the effect of you being whipped for him for almost a year. It sounded pathetic, but you enjoyed it nonetheless.

“A-hem.”

Both you and Yoongi tore your eyes away from each other to find Seolhyun standing at the opposite side of the table with her arms folded across her chest. Her eyebrows were furrowed and daggers shot from her eyes right into your own. The aura that came off of her was no less than intimidating and you felt as if your soul left your body.

Fuck.

↠↞

“What is she doing here?!” Seolhyun barked as she took a seat.

“I asked her to come so just leave her be.” Yoongi spat.

You silently observed Seolhyun’s outfit; she wore a casual black dress that stopped above mid-thigh and had a deep v-neck line. A cream cardigan hugged her frame and she even made time to put on makeup and curl your hair. If your suspicions were correct, she dressed that way on purpose to use her looks to win back Yoongi somehow. Seolhyun was honestly gorgeous which made you nervous. What if it reeled him back in? 

She cleared her throat again and avoided eye contact with Yoongi. “Thank you for meeting with me.” Her voice grew softer and softer towards the end of her sentence and she fiddled with the ends of her hair. This gave off a vulnerable look, almost “cute”. 

“Okay.” Yoongi said sharply.

The tension in the air was suffocating and all you wanted to do was run away, but Yoongi kept his hand on your knee underneath the table to keep you at bay.

“So? Anything else you need to say?” Yoongi kept the same tone of voice, annoyed. He truly didn’t want to be here.

“Sigh. I’m sorry okay? God, can we just talk without you being mad at me?!” Seolhyun raised her voice a bit.

“Of course I’m mad! How the hell am I supposed to be feeling? You cheated on me!” Yoongi raised his voice as well and you were even more nervous. You three were sitting in public with students walking by and you were praying to God that everyone was just minding their own business.

“Y-You cheated on me too! You—!” She pointed at him. “—kissed her!” Her finger was now on you.

Yoongi furrowed his brows and squeezed your knee. “Alright, fine. I kissed her once and like I said, I knew I had to tell you because I was feeling so fucking guilty about what I did. You were my girlfriend, Seolhyun! I had to be honest with you.”

Seolhyun tightly pursed her lips together, probably stopping herself from saying anything else.

“How…” Yoongi breathed. “How long have you been…”

Your eyes softened at the sight of Yoongi faltering. He didn’t want to say it. You reached beneath the table to hold that had that was on top of your knee. Instantly, you watched his shoulders relax.

“Um…” Seolhyun chewed on her bottom lip and picked at the skin around her nails. “Just-Just once..”

Bullshit.

“Don’t you think Yoongi deserves a lot more honesty that?” You boldly questioned. Talking was never part of your agenda, but it’s true, he deserved to know the truth after tearing himself apart from agonizing over his self-worth.

“Excuse me?” Seolhyun stared you down and you couldn’t back down no matter how much you wanted to.

“I–I don’t think you’re telling him the truth.” You tried to sound confident, but your stutter gave it away.

Seolhyun scoffed and crossed her arms. “Who do you think you—”

“She’s right. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth either.” Yoongi interjected. “For Seung Ho to talk to y/n about our situation kind of shows how close you two really are.”

“My thoughts exactly.” You said softly.

Seolhyun aggressively scratched the back of her head. “Ugh. Two months!” She blurted out. “Two-fucking-months! There’s the truth! Happy now?”

Your eyes widened then turned to Yoongi who was looking in Seolhyun’s direction with an empty expression. After remaining quiet for about a minute, a low chuckle pushed past his lips.

“Is that why we’ve been fighting so much lately?” There were hints of both sadness and anger in his tone. “This was why you’ve been so short with me? You would cut our dates short—it was because you would rendezvous with Seung Ho?”

“Y-Yoongi.” You whispered and gently rubbed the back of his hand, trying to calm him down.

“Do you know what the fuck I’ve been going through because of this?! I continuously questioned what I was doing wrong—was I not making you happy anymore? Did I do something to piss you off? Was I not buying you enough flowers on the weekends? Altering my class schedule to match yours wasn’t enough? Skipping class to spend time with you? I talked my friends’ ears off trying to figure out why I didn’t seem important in your eyes anymore…” Yoongi kept his head down and squeezed your hand to the point where his nails could draw blood from your skin. “Was I not enough for you…?”

Seolhyun parted her lips but hesitated to say anything. She also dropped her head, possibly trying to get everything in her mind organized.

“Yoongi, I’m so sorry.” She said sadly.

For the first time in a while, she sounded genuine.

“You were enough for me, but I—I guess… I guess I was being selfish and I wanted more.” Seolhyun lifted her eyes in search of Yoongi’s but he still kept his head down.

“You could’ve told me.” Yoongi choked out. “You could’ve talked to me about how you were feeling and maybe—maybe things could’ve worked out.”

It was your turn to lower your head. This was truly an issue between Yoongi and Seolhyun. There was no reason for you to inject yourself into the conversation anymore.

“Is there any way we could work past this?” Seolhyun asked.

Yoongi finally met her eyes. “No. No way in hell.”

He fumbled with your hand to let go and reached into his pocket to pull out his keyring and wallet. He detached Seolhyun’s dorm key and pulled out a polaroid photo of her from inside his wallet. “Here. I don’t need these anymore.”

Yoongi reached back underneath the table in search of your hand and you stealthy met him halfway.

“Please. Just go, Seolhyun. We’re done here.” Yoongi said firmly.

Seolhyun sat there for a couple seconds and then reached forward to retrieve her belongings. As she stood up from the table, she kept her eyes on Yoongi hoping he would say something else, but he remained silent. Shortly after, Seolhyun took her leave without Yoongi sparing her a single glance.

↠↞

Even with the hustle and bustle of students walking all over campus, the world had never been so quiet. Yoongi had his head down, face buried in the crook of his elbow while still holding onto your hand. You weren’t sure when was the best time to speak, so you kept quiet waiting for him to break the silence first.

It almost physically hurt staring at Yoongi. He had been bottling up so many painful emotions to the point where it almost consumed him. He didn’t deserve to go through this.

“Y/n?” Yoongi finally spoke, but the rest of his sentence was muffled behind his coat sleeve.

“I-I’m sorry, Yoongi. I can’t really hear you.”

“Thank you for coming with me.” He turned his head and made heavy eye contact with you. “Saying all those things… I don’t think I would've been able to do it on my own, but you being here gave me strength to do so.”

His words caused a noticeable blush to form on your cheeks. He chuckled and sat up straight to tuck a few of your hairs behind your ears.

“I think you have enough time left to get to your next class from here. I’ll walk you.” Yoongi lifted you up by your arm and you almost didn’t want to go to class. All you wanted was to sit around and hold his hand all day. The thought of that made you blush even more and this made Yoongi laugh a little harder. “What’s the matter with you? Come on.”

Unfortunately, Yoongi didn’t hold your hand when he walked you to class. This was probably because it felt too soon to do so in public. It’s not like he and Seolhyun were the campus couple, but people might get the wrong idea if they knew they were dating.

After the whole thing with Yoongi and Seolhyun, it made it even harder for you to concentrate. Now that they were broken up, who knows if Yoongi still had anymore underlying feelings for her. They were together for a year, so there had to be some leftover right? Plus, Yoongi made a comment the other night about how he thought about why you kissed him and that he “figured it out.” This meant a whole new conversation, a whole new reason to be nervous.

Fucking great.

This was a conversation you weren’t looking forward to. You needed to prepare yourself somehow, but it seemed like no matter how much you could mentally prepare yourself, you still wouldn’t be ready. After knowing Yoongi for roughly a little over two years and falling for him like an idiot, never in your life did you imagine him finding out about how you felt about him.

You would be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t even a little happy. You kissed Yoongi, held his hand, and even shared a bed with him with your feelings unknowingly exposed in the air. It made you giddy; butterflies roaming around in your stomach, fighting the urge to smile whenever you thought about him. If only the circumstances were different, life would’ve been near perfect for you.

Class dragged on, notes were written down, doodles were drawn, and next thing you knew, you were tying your work apron around your waist.

“Where’s Yoongi? He didn’t walk you here?” Seokjin asked.

“Nah. His energy gauge was pretty much empty by the time he was done talking with Seolhyun so he decided to just nap for a few hours.”

“Okay, so, what’s the tea?” Seokjin stood near you, eagerly waiting for you to tell him all the juicy details.

You playfully shoved him away and walked over to the espresso machine. “I’m not saying anything until Hani gets here.”

“Aw, come on, y/n. She won’t be here till like five or something!”

You chuckled to yourself and continued to ignore all of Seokjin’s pleads for information.

The moment Hani walked through the coffee shop doors, the first words she shouted was “okay bitch, bring forth the tea!”—this was said with a shop full of students. You were immediately put on the spot, but Hani’s intentions meant well.

You made sure to include all details of the confrontation when you told Seokjin and Hani about it. You also made sure to keep your voice low because you weren’t sure who knew Seolhyun, Yoongi, or even Seung Ho. This wasn’t your story to tell, but both Hani and Seokjin were there from the beginning so it seemed fitting for them to know it all too.

Evening came just as quickly as your shift started. Hani didn’t mean to stay so late, but she got pretty invested in the situation between Seolhyun and Yoongi. Both you and Seokjin did his best to keep all of Hani’s reactions at bay, but you had to admit, it was entertaining. At least she was nice enough to help the coffee shop employees close up.

“Wouldn’t your knight in shining armor show up by now?” Hani joked. 

“You need to relax—oh, bye!” You chuckled and threatened her with a broomstick and waved two of your co-workers who were heading out.

“It’s true, y/n. He’s supposed to waltz in here and be like ‘my lady, I have arrived. Your chariot awaits.’” Seokjin pranced around the room and even bowed and took your hand in his.

“And by ‘chariot’, you mean his legs right? Because the dorms are within walking distance?” You laughed.

“Well, yes, b-but anyways let me finish,” Seokjin cleared his throat. “So your knight in shining armor swoops in—” he went from holding your hand to picking you up bridal style. “—picks you up and saves you from the dungeon aka the coffee shop! And then Yoongi says—”

“Seokjin, what in zakum’s name are you doing?”

At the mention of his name coming from behind him, Seokjin froze in his tracks and turned around to find Yoongi staring at him with a questionable look.

“I—uh—” Seokjin panicked, almost dropping you on the floor but he still managed to place you back on your feet. “Alrighty-roo, well, Hani—babe, shall we take our leave?”

All Hani could do was laugh until her stomach hurt and Seokjin dragged her out of the coffee shop by her hand; she laughed so much that she could barely properly say bye to you and Yoongi.

“Do I even want to know?” Yoongi asked hesitantly.

“No, you really don’t.”

Yoongi helped you flip up the chairs onto the table while you continued to sweep the floor. As you two cleaned up, you proceeded to tell him about your day and apologized for telling Seokjin and Hani what happened in the afternoon. He brushed it off because he also trusted them.

Unlike your busy day, Yoongi spent his entire day eating, sleeping, and watching netflix; he exaggerated that it was a packed schedule. He even mentioned that Seolhyun still tried to call and text him, but he ignored every single attempt.

“You know, I think she dressed up that way today to lure you back to her with her looks.” You confessed.

“Huh. You think so?” Yoongi walked behind the counter where you were wiping around the sink.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, I mean, it’s been pretty cold lately and she shows up in an outfit that could barely keep her warm. She curled her hair, put on makeup, like why is doing all of that necessary to meet up with you? It seems so—what?”

Yoongi was just staring at you with a smirk plastered on his face. “Were you worried that it was going to work?”

A blush bloomed on your cheeks. “N-No. I just think it was ridiculous, that’s all.”

He stepped closer and stood behind you, placing his hands on the metal countertop to cage you in between his arms.

“You know, you observe others pretty well but from my observations from knowing you, you kind of suck at lying.” Yoongi laughed and you forced a chuckle out. You weren’t going to even deny it.

From the counter, Yoongi lifted his hands to secure them around your waist, hugging you from behind. You made a few attempts to move around to clean the counter properly, but he remained.

“Yoongi, I have to clean.” You chuckled.

“Just—” He briefly let you go to spin you around so he could hug you from the front. “Five minutes. Let’s stay like this for five minutes, please.”

It was such a genuine request, how could you say no?

Yoongi was leaning into you with his face buried in the crook of your neck. You had your arms lazily slung around his shoulders and just listened to his faint breathing. The blonde tips of his hair tickled your nose a bit, so you gently slide your hand across his nape to brush down his hair. He hugged you tighter at your sudden action and sighed.

“You’re really going to touch me like that, y/n?” The teasing tone in his voice was enough to raise your temperature and cause a blush to appear on your cheeks.

“Y-Yoongi!” You tried to push him away, already feeling embarrassed, but he just continued to hold you.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Yoongi snickered. “It’s fine, keep touching my hair.”

You were still feeling embarrassed because that was the first time Yoongi used that tone of voice with you. Nonetheless, you listened and continued to stroke his hair. Thankfully he didn’t wear that awful beanie.

Yoongi didn’t say another word and every once in a while, he’d caress your back and readjust himself. Small sparks ignited at the simplest touch and for some reason you wanted to laugh. This was everything you wanted but it did confuse you as to how comfortable Yoongi was doing all of this to you. All you did was kiss him once and the next moment he’s acting as if you two were dating for years.

“Okay, I’m recharged. Continue your cleaning.” He emerged from your body and cupped your cheek. Even if you were the one embarrassed, Yoongi still had a hue of pink displayed at the tops of his cheeks.

For the next ten minutes, you swiftly cleaned up the stations and tossed out the garbage in the dumpster out back. Yoongi waited patiently and even gathered all of your things for you from the back room.

“So you’re opening tomorrow?” Yoongi asked whilst helping you adjust your hoodie.

“Sadly, yeah. So we can talk first then I’ll head straight to bed.”

“We can talk tomorrow, it’s fine. You need your rest.”

“B-But—”

Yoongi stole another kiss from you, probably to shut you up and it worked; it left you utterly speechless. You had to get used to this somehow.

“Tomorrow.” Yoongi whispered. “For now, let’s go home.”

Home?

There was no doubt that Yoongi was referring to your dorm as home since he stayed there the entire day. The idea of him considering your place as “home” gave you butterflies.

Home was a safe sanctuary. Home was a place where someone can easily unravel themselves to be at peace. Home was where the heart was and Yoongi was there with you.

“Yeah.” You blushed. “Let’s go home.”

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Someone You Loved (Part 3)

Summary: The reader is the daughter of a well known mafia boss in her city and is used to an easy going life. When her father is arrested along with his crew, the reader is forced into a different life full of lies and adversity. Worst of all, her boyfriend of the past year, Dean, is an undercover cop who put her father away. She’s perfectly content with never seeing Dean again but he has a habit of making his way back into her life…

Pairing: Cop!Dean x Mafia!reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, harassment

_____

You’d just finished jotting down the last of your math notes when the doorbell rang the next day. You heard your dad answer as you hopped up from your desk and grabbed your purse, quickly out in the hall. Dean was wearing a loose open flannel, smiling at something your dad was saying to him.

“Ready?” asked Dean.

“Mhm,” you said, cocking your head at him in his plain clothes.

“Small department. We don’t have much of a dress code,” he said with a smile.

“Being the boss has its perks,” said your dad.

“It does indeed,” said Dean. “I figured we could grab a bite here in Deer Creek? So I can get you back in time for class.”

“Oh, she can take the classes whenever she wants. She’s already two weeks ahead of the curriculum,” said your dad.

“Dean does have work, dad,” you said. “Come on.”

Dean gave him a smile before you were both piling into Baby, Dean driving for a few minutes before finding the cafe on main street, the two of you seated quickly.

“Your dad looks different. Way less stressed out,” said Dean.

“Being a bum will do that to you,” you said. “I’m trying to figure out ways of getting him out of the house more to be honest.”

“He could get involved with town stuff. These small towns are full of those meetings and boards,” said Dean.

“Maybe. How’s the town council going?” you asked.

“It’s alright. I had a meeting this morning on it. There’s a lot of stupid stuff in my opinion on it but you know, these people don’t have much else to do,” he said.

“You’ve never been afraid of taking charge,” you said.

“I came here so I could get away from that sort of thing,” he said.

“You came to hide,” you said.

“I’m okay with a quiet little life,” he said.

“You really want to live in Hawthorne forever?”

“I wanted a slower pace job. I can do what I’m supposed to and that’s it. They had a spot open and I knew it was close to you,” he said, pursing his lips. “Someone needs to watch your back. You have a knack for finding trouble.”

“I find the trouble? Look who’s talking,” you laughed. He shrugged, thanking the waitress when she brought over your drinks.

“Deer Creek’s a nice place,” he said. “Near the woods and mountains. It’s pretty here.”

“Hawthorne is pretty too. It’s quieter is all,” you said. “It feels like the middle of nowhere.”

“I mean, there’s nothing on the other side of Hawthorne so it kind of is. I’ve heard there’s lots of good hiking and camping around. There’s a big outdoors store here I’ve been told,” he said.

“That sounds fun,” you said. “I should totally get my dad to go hiking.”

“That’s a great idea. He’s looking a little rounder than I remember,” he chuckled.

“He was like that after my mom died too,” you said.

“How’d you snap him out of it?”

“We started to hang out more. Dad was not the mafia boss anymore but just dad, you know? Now that I know what he was really up to, I know he’s a better person than I gave him credit for,” you said.

“He still was a money launderer,” said Dean with a smirk. “But there’s a reason they never tried to get him for anything. I think out of your family only your cousin Mark had like a public intoxication arrest on him and I mean, that was Mark so that’s not surprising.”

“Do you know what happened to all of them?” you asked.

“I think most of them stayed in their new towns where it was safe, started living normal lives. Your cousin Sarah is going to art school in Florida I think,” he said.

“Good for her,” you said.

“It’s probably a blessing in disguise you know. Your family all have normal jobs, no records. They got out before something bad happened,” he said.

“How’s Sam?” you asked. He shrugged. “He still undercover?”

“No. He...he’s actually transferring to the Deer Creek department. He got in a bit of trouble for telling you the truth. But he trusted you,” said Dean.

“I’d like to have a civil conversation with him for once,” you said. “Tell him Gary was a super dick.”

“He was, wasn’t he?” teased Dean. You bit your bottom lip, Dean giving you a smile. “What?”

“Why’d you blow up at the bar that night? I mean, you knew that was Sam playing Gary after all. Couldn’t you have blown your cover?” you asked.

“Yeah. I could only take so much though, even pretend,” he said. You nodded and were both quiet for a few minutes, your salad coming out and a tiny smile on your face as you caught Dean eating one of his own. “What?”

“I thought you didn’t eat rabbit food,” you said.

“I’m trying to,” he said, picking at the meat in his bowl first. “So. You go to school everyday?”

“It’s all online. Aside from a few timed tests on certain days, it’s more go at your own pace. I figure with summer classes, I’ll get a degree in three years instead of four,” you said.

“What about your college classes from high school? You would have gone in with credits,” he said.

“I...totally forgot about those actually,” you said.

“See if they’ll take ‘em. You’re just looking for a degree right? Maybe you can save yourself a semester,” he said.

“I told you about that like, once,” you said.

“I am very good at remembering,” he said, poking at the rest of his salad.

“Excuse me,” you said when your waitress went past. “Can we get a BLT wrap instead of the salad?”

“Sure thing,” she said, taking the bowl away.

“Thanks,” said Dean, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Baby steps,” you said.

“Baby steps,” he said.

His new food came out a few minutes later, Dean telling you about the local area as he ate. He’d been there about a week or so. He was staying in the previous police chief’s house on the edge of town. He was a bit miffed that there was no garage with it but he figured he could always add one later on.

He started to talk about Baby, a topic you knew he could on about for hours and hours if left to his own devices. You smiled as he spoke and ate his wrap, Dean loosening up and acting like his old self.

“What’s with the goofy look?” he asked with a chuckle. You shook your head.

“You sound like you again is all,” you said.

“You always did like listening to me talk about Baby,” he said.

“You don’t get between a boy and his first love,” you teased.

“No. You don’t,” he said, twitching his lip up. “You got a little…”

He wiped at the corner of his mouth, your tongue jutting out around yours.

“Still didn’t get it,” he said as he leaned over, wiping off a bit of dressing with a napkin. “Perfect.”

“Thanks,” you said.

“No problem,” he said.

“You shaved this morning,” you said. He ran his hand over his jaw, a little hair there but much more like you were used to. “It looks good.”

“I was due for one,” he said. “I got to head back to work but maybe I’ll see you at Breacher’s tonight?”

“Yeah. I’ll be working,” you said.

“Good. I’ll make sure to swing by then.”

Two Weeks Later

“Are you two sure you ain’t dating?” asked Mel. You smirked behind the bar top as you poured his refill, Dean hiding his smile as he bit into his burger.

“They flirt enough,” said Victor, Dean chuckling and wiping off his mouth. “What do you say chief?”

“It’s complicated,” said Dean.

“Extremely,” you said.

“Eh, it ain’t that complicated,” said Mel.

“Trust us,” you said, wiping down the bar, surprised when Victor stood up. “Just the one drink tonight?”

“Yeah. I ought to go spend some time with my wife,” he said. “Night.”

“Night Vic,” said Dean, Mel raising an eyebrow when he left. “There a story there?”

“They been fighting a lot lately. I keep telling the idiot to spend some time with her,” he said.

“Maybe he’s finally listening,” you said. Mel nodded and knocked back his drink.

“I should take that advice myself. I’ll see you kiddos around,” he said.

“Drive safe, Mel,” you said.

“Do I smell or something?” teased Dean.

“Oh yes. It’s quite horrifying,” you said, giving him a laugh after a moment. “Those two should be at home anyways. It’s getting late.”

“It’s nine,” said Dean.

“Late for them,” you said. You cleaned up their plates and glasses, exiting out of the kitchen area a minute later to see another man sitting next to Dean, a head of longer hair on him.

He gave you a friendly if not weary smile.

“Moose,” you said, tossing down a coaster.

“Chipmunk,” he said. “You look good.”

“I was wondering when I’d see you around. Looking like the fifth beatle there,” you teased. Dean snickered in his seat, Sam whacking him in the back of the head. “What’ll it be, Sammy?”

“Just a pepsi. I’m on duty,” said Sam. “Lunch break actually.”

“Want the kitchen to whip something up for ya?” you asked.

“Is there anything not covered in grease?”

“Pie. They make good pie here,” said Dean. “Can I order my pie now too?”

“Pie for Dean and I’ll get a garden salad for you Sam,” you said.

“Thanks,” he said as you jotted it down. His salad was out fast with the kitchen slowing down, Dean wolfing down his pie the second you had it out. “I guess you really are doing better.”

“Told ya so,” said Dean.

“So...you guys dating again?” asked Sam.

“It’s...a work in progress,” you said.

“We both agreed we should wait a little while, give us time to try and get our heads on straight,” said Dean.

“Is that why you smile at your phone like an idiot when she texts you?” asked Sam.

“Shut up,” said Dean.

“Hey, Y/N,” said Sam, turning to you. “About the Gary thing...I’m sorry for all that stuff.”

“You were just doing your job,” you said, setting his second soda down in front of him. “It’s alright, Moose.”

“Oh I see. I do all the groveling groundwork and Sam gets to reap the rewards,” teased Dean.

“Just a tad different, De,” you said.

“Yeah. De,” said Sam with a big smirk.

“At least I have a girlfriend,” mumbled Dean.

“I thought it was a work in progress. Plus I’m married you idiot,” said Sam.

“Didn’t I tell you he was an annoying little shit?” said Dean.

“He’s a little brother. Kind of in the handbook, Dean,” you said.

“I didn’t hear a correction in there,” said Sam.

“You really are a little shit, Sam,” you said.

“Told ya,” said Dean.

“Still,” said Sam. “You two…”

“Leave it alone, Sammy,” said Dean. He dropped it at that, making some small talk as he waited for another slice of pie to come out. You tended to the rest of the bar, the two of them talking about their days. It reminded you of when they’d talk when you were over Dean’s place. It was always kind of cute to you how they checked in everyday.

“Y/N?” asked Sam. You hummed, giving him a smile. “I asked if you were going hiking with us this weekend.”

“I didn’t know I was invited,” you said. Dean glared at Sam, opening his mouth slowly. “Hey. You two should have your brother time.”

“I was gonna ask later,” said Dean quietly. “You got midterms soon and-“

“And Y/N’s coming with,” said Sam. “Right?”

“I’ll think about it,” you said.

“Don’t bug her, Sammy,” said Dean.

“When are you gonna stop being depressed and tell-“

“Really?” said Dean. He stood up and put down some money, Sam looking to you for help. Dean was gone like that though and Sam closed his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” mumbled Sam.

“Probably not,” you said. “It’s why it’s a work in progress, Sam.”

“It’s kind of stupid in my opinion. You’re both still into each other. It wasn’t like you broke up because you stopped liking each other,” he said.

“No. What happened was much worse,” you said. “There’s a lot of hurt feelings there.”

“Then why don’t you hate me as much?” said Sam.

“I didn’t love Gary, Sam. Gary was a dick. One that scared me,” you said. “But you weren’t that much worse than a bad night tending bar or the walk home at three in the morning.”

“He never told you, did he,” said Sam.

“Told me what?”

“There were two regulars at your bar. Hank and a younger guy, Teddy. You never noticed that Teddy always came in just after Hank would head out?” asked Sam. You tilted your head back, Sam taking a sip of his drink. “Dean was concerned. He convinced the department to give you a protection detail in the event that you might be able to help with the organization.”

“So you’re telling me that every night I was creeped out walking home by myself, there was a cop nearby watching my back?”

“Pretty much,” said Sam.

“He didn’t tell me that,” you said. “He’s such an idiot sometimes, I swear.”

“There are worse idiots to wind up with,” said Sam.

“Carl, you mind watching the bar for a minute?” you asked, one of the waiters nodding as you skirted around the top and over to the front door. You poked your head outside, Dean leaning over Baby with his head down. “Winchester!”

He popped his head up and spun around as you headed over, Dean looking behind you, his hand on his gun.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“No. No. You gonna invite me to go hiking?” you asked.

“What’d Sammy say in there?” he asked, dropping his hand away.

“You’re sweet. Nothing I didn’t know already though,” you said. “So, hiking?”

“I’m not…” said Dean, gnawing on his bottom lip, shifting on his feet. You reached out and grabbed his hands, Dean staring down at them. “You know I shove stuff down. You have a way of dragging it up and making me deal with it and I don’t want to deal with...I want to be your boyfriend again. I do. I want it to be the way it used to be but I know it’s never going to be that way. You’ll never trust me like that again and I’ll never not feel guilty. I just need more time to deal with that, okay? Maybe we go hiking next weekend, just us. I need time to-“

“Don’t assume things about me Dean,” you said, dropping his hands.

“A month ago you hated my guts,” he said. “You’ve spent the past few months hating me.”

“Don’t push me away because you’re afraid of feeling something again, Dean,” you said. “Don’t put words in my mouth either.”

“You said-“

“I said a lot of things and most of it when I didn’t know the full picture,” you said, kicking at the ground. “There’s always more secrets, more I didn’t know, Dean.”

“I told you the truth,” he said.

“Then why am I still finding stuff out like I had a police tail on me every night?” you asked. He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning back against the car. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

“I didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter,” he said.

“Actually, it does. Now I knew I was safe back then. So what else are you hiding?”

“Nothing!”

“Dean.”

He wasn’t quick enough to make his face blank but maybe he wanted it that way, wanted you to know there was something he still wasn’t saying. He quickly turned his gaze hard though.

“You always gotta push, don’t you?” he said. “You push and push and push and push. You’re so fucking annoying sometimes. You can’t just let things be. You gotta dig and ask stupid questions and be the biggest pain in the ass I’ve ever met in my life. Why do you never, never, shut the fuck up? Please. Just shut up.”

“You know what? Don’t come back to the bar. Ever,” you said as you spun around. “I’m done. We’re done. Fuck you, Dean. Just stay the fuck away from me from now on.”

“How was work?” asked your dad when you came home an hour early. “Feeling alright?”

“I hate that fucking asshole!” you shouted, rubbing your hand over your face. “I should have never...fuck him. Don’t ever answer the door for him again.”

“Y/N-“

“I am done with Dean Winchester. Forever.”

“What the hell are you doing?” you said the next day, storming into Dean’s office as he ate some yogurt.

“Lunch?” he asked.

You slammed the parking ticket down on his desk, Dean raising an eyebrow.

“You pay that over at the front desk?” he asked again, looking you up and down. “Are you on something?”

“I am sick and tired of the police harassing me!” you shouted. Dean leaned forward in his chair and took the ticket, glancing at it.

“Nina. Can you come here a minute?” called Dean. You glared as a cop came in, looking at you wearily. “You write a parking ticket this morning?”

“She was double parked.”

“Double parked my ass,” you said.

“Miss. This is a police station,” she said.

“Oh, don’t go there with me honey,” you said.

“There,” said Dean, ripping it in half. “No ticket. Nina, try not to ticket people for being a little over the line.”

“Alright,” she said, staring at you.

“Back off,” you said. She put a hand on her hip and Dean stood up, grabbing your arm. “Hey!”

“I do not need a fist fight in my office,” he said, leading you out a side door and outside. You shrugged away from him, Dean taking a deep breath. “I didn’t put anyone up to it. Don’t go starting fights with cops.”

“I want you to leave me the fuck alone,” you said.

“Yet you’re the one…” he said, wrinkling his nose. “Go back in the station. Now.”

“No! I-“

“Get the fuck inside,” he said, grabbing your arm hard, practically shoving you back through the door. He locked it behind himself, barely giving you more than a quick glance.

But it was enough.

“You’re still protecting me, aren’t you,” you said.

“Yeah well, deal with it. I had a feeling shit would hit the fan and it’s hitting it,” he said, shoving you back towards the cell area. “Lock the door. It’s the only way in or out. Don’t open for anyone but me or Sammy. Call your dad and tell him Alpha Green two. He knows what it means.”

He left the room and you almost locked the door after him, his hand suddenly on it. He was holding something big and bulky out to you.

His thigh holster with the gun in it.

“Put it on. Point and shoot. Make sure the safety’s off. You got sixteen rounds. Don’t use it if you don’t gotta,” he said.

“Dean, what’s-” you got out before he was out the door. You locked it up after him and strapped the thing on your leg, shaking your head as you pulled out your phone.

“Hey, sweetie,” said your dad when he answered.

“Something weird is...I’m with Dean at the police station and he said to tell you Alpha Green two and I have no idea what is going on,” you said, the other end quiet. “Dad?”

“I’m not gonna see you for a long time, kiddo. I gotta go away for awhile. I want you to stick with Dean. He’ll keep you safe. I know you two got your issues but you’ll work them out,” he said.

“What is happening?” you asked.

“Alpha Green two means get out. Dean saw something he didn’t like so I gotta go,” he said.

“He gave me a gun,” you said.

“You’re gonna have to get out too then. They know if they grab you, then they get me,” he said.

“Dad-”

“Remember where I said I met your mom?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“October first. You meet me there at noon if it’s safe. That’s how I’ll know it’s safe to come back,” he said.

“Dad-”

“Do what Dean tells you and for the love of God stay with him,” he said. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” you said quietly. “Who’s here? That organization?”

“Worse. His brother. I gotta go. I’ll be with Sam. I’ll see you in October, kiddo. Love you,” he said.

“Love you t-” you heard before he hung up. “Too. What the fuck?”

“Y/N,” you heard on the other side of the door, Dean knocking lightly. “Open up. It’s me.”

You carefully undid the door, a backpack tossed in your face along with a police jacket.

“What-”

“No one saw you on the street thankfully. Your dad getting out of here?” he asked. You nodded, Dean glancing around. “I got Baby packed. Sam’ll try to help your dad get out of here as best he can. We gotta get you out of here and now.”

“Am I ever going to know anything real about you?” you asked. He stared at you blankly, cupping your cheek and pressing his lips to yours.

“I kept lying about my job. Not about me,” he said. “I will explain everything later. For now-”

“Let’s get going then.”

“This jacket is nice and warm,” you said, curling up in the thing in Baby’s front seat, Dean humming as he rolled into hour nine of your impromptu road trip. “We gonna stop soon? I got to go to the bathroom.”

“Yeah. We’re almost there,” he said.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” you said.

“We’re almost there too,” he said. You closed your eyes and rested your head against the window again, trying not to think of what had happened to your dad or where he was. Dean was mum on everything until you were settled he said but you knew wherever it was you were going, you were going to have to lay low.

He pulled up to an old farm house near a field and nestled near some woods, driving down the dirt path for a moment before he put it in park.

“Where are we exactly?”

“Safest place I ever knew,” he said. He opened his door and got out. You followed his lead and stretched out, hearing some clanging going on in a nearby garage. It stopped quickly and a man walked out, wiping his hands on his jeans. “Sorry I didn’t call. Sort of last minute.”

“You must be Y/N,” he said, looking you up and down, giving you a smirk. “He gave you a gun?”

“Who is he?” you asked Dean.

“Y/N, this is my dad, John,” he said. You turned your head a little wide eyed as he stepped over and gave you a big hug.

“Nice to finally meet Dean’s girlfriend in the flesh,” he said.

“Dad, we’re not…” said Dean.

“Oh,” said John. “Was that...okay, now I’m confused.”

“Welcome to the club,” you mumbled.

“We were. We broke it off when you know, her dad and family went into hiding,” said Dean.

“Okay?” said John.

“I didn’t know he was a cop for starters,” you said. His dad raised an eyebrow. “Then there’s all the lying and secrets and sounds like you do that with everybody, hm?”

“I thought you had to go to the bathroom,” said Dean.

“Go up through the back door, past the kitchen, door on the left,” said John.

“Thanks,” you said. You wrapped your jacket around yourself as you jogged up the back steps into the quiet house. The kitchen was sparse and half of it was ripped up. Half the house looked under construction in your opinion.

The bathroom looked like new sheetrock had been put up and needed to be painted but otherwise it looked brand new. You were quick to relieve yourself, voices coming into the house by the time you were exiting.

“He’s an idiot,” said John as he walked past you, going to the kitchen cupboard and pulling out a bottle of liquor.

“Where’s mom?” asked Dean.

“She and Jess went to the movies. Apparently I annoyed them today,” said John, taking a sip.

“Maybe if you finished working on the house they’d be less pissed,” said Dean.

“They got hands. They can pick up a hammer and get to work,” he said.

“Dad.”

“I know. It’s hard to renovate a whole house by yourself is all,” he said.

“Maybe Y/N can help with demo. She’s pretty pissed off lately,” said Dean.

“I can see why,” he said.

“You’re taking her side?”

“Sammy told Jess.”

“Sam and Jess are married. It’s different. He had permission. She was different,” said Dean.

“You still could have told-“

“I fucked up. I don’t need everyone to keep reminding me,” said Dean, dropping a bag by the stairs and going out the front, slamming the door shut after him.

“He probably didn’t need that,” said John.

“Can I have a sip of that?” you asked.

“Knock yourself out.”

“He didn’t,” said John, cracking up beside you a few hours later.

“He sure did,” you said, giggling as you passed the bottle back to him.

“Oh, that kid doesn’t know the first thing about being in a city,” he laughed, taking the last sip. “Shit. I think we’ve been cut off, kiddo.”

“Well you’re both drunk so it’s probably for the best,” said Dean as he stepped out the back door. “Mom and Jess are back. I told them you weren’t up for meeting any more new people today.”

“I think he’s pissed,” you laughed.

“You should have seen his face when he was three and-“

“Alright,” said Dean, leaning down and taking the gun from your holster. “Before you two get into real trouble, inside. Y/N, we got the air mattress in the guest room so get your tush up there.”

“I’m enjoying myself here just fine,” you said.

“Yeah. What are you? The fun police?” joked his dad.

“I’m tired. Please, just go inside for the night and sleep this off,” said Dean. “Both of you.”

“Alright,” said John. “No harm in helping her calm down.”

“I’d rather it have been done sober,” said Dean.

“Yeah, well. You can work on that tomorrow,” said John. “Come on. Better do as told.”

You grumbled as you stood up and went inside, the house quiet. Dean showed you upstairs, his dad staying down and heading down the hall where you assumed the master bedroom was. You trudged past an open room, a girl probably around your age laying on a bed, reading a book.

“Hey,” said Dean, pointing a finger at you. She lifted her head up. “This is Y/N. You know, don’t shoot her if you see her around. Drunk girl, this is Jess. Don’t shoot her if you see her around.”

“Always a joy, Dean,” said Jess. “Y/N, nice to meet you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a cop too,” you said.

“I’m a nursing student,” she said. “Or I was I should say.”

“Look. I brought you a friend so you can both hate me together,” said Dean.

“Shortie,” she mumbled, a smirk playing on her lips.

“Asshole,” he said, spinning you around. “Night Jess.”

“Night De,” she said.

“Sam says hey too,” said Dean.

“Just hey?” she asked.

“Yeah. Just hey,” said Dean, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out an envelope. He flicked it over to her, Jess smiling wide as she caught it. “Page three, whoo, Sammy. I thought the boy was innocent but boy was I wrong.”

“Goodnight Dean,” she said with a grin, tearing open the letter.

“Night Jess,” he said, pulling her door shut. “Okay. Let’s get you in bed.”

He showed you down the hall and into a room, nothing inside but two backpacks, a duffel and an air mattress with a blanket on top.

“Okay,” he said as you kicked off your shoes. You plopped down on the mattress, rolling to the left side. “Before you pass out completely on me, this backpack with the red tape on the strap? That’s your bag. If I ever tell you the furnace light is out, that means take the bag and get out of here. I don’t care how but you do it. If the furnace light is broken, that means ditch the bag and just go. You got that?”

“Talking about the furnace is bad. I got it,” you mumbled, tugging the blanket around yourself.

“You can change into something more comfortable,” he said.

“Like what,” you mumbled.

“Hold on,” he said. He went over to a closet and pulled out a box, digging through it a minute before pulling out a few things and tossing them to you. “It’s from when I was about your size. It should fit.”

You stared at him, Dean rolling his eyes.

“This is my grandparents house. It was in somebody else’s name and trust me, it’s safe,” he said.

“So this stuff is from when you were a teenager?”

“Yes. Bathroom is across the hall,” he said, leaving the room for a minute. You changed into the loose shorts and t shirt, smiling at the baseball camp shirt.

The door opened and he popped his head in, another bunch of blankets under his arm.

“Did you go to camp around here?” you asked.

“Yeah. For a summer. Sam and I stayed here. We’re both tired, we’ll talk in the morning,” he said. He took off his boots and jeans, shrugging out of his jacket and taking one of the blankets for himself, leaving the others on your side. He flicked off the light switch and lay down with a sigh, his back turning to you when you crawled under the blankets.

You stared at his stiff shoulders, Dean taking a few deep breaths.

“Thanks for the extra blankets,” you said quietly. He nodded, stilling after a moment.

You turned your own back to him, closing your eyes, already regretting the alcohol in your system.

“Is my dad dead?” you asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Okay,” you whispered, a tiny shudder running through you.

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“I can sleep on the couch if you want,” he said.

“Okay,” you said.

“Do you want me to go?”

You didn’t say anything and for a moment, you thought he’d get up and leave. Then you felt him roll behind you, roll closer. You didn’t lift your head as you turned to face him, ducking your chin down and letting yourself bury your face in his chest.

“I know,” he said quietly, placing his arm over your back, holding you close. “I know.”

“I don’t know…” you mumbled, a shudder running through you.

“I got you. That’s all you need to worry about tonight, alright?” he said. “I got you.”

You nodded your head, fisting your hands in his shirt as you willed yourself to get some sleep.

_____

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

[takemealivelh]

i heard i can send mike requests so here i am. i got this from a prompt list so iMagine mike coming to the restaurant you work at and choose you as his waitress every time just to annoy you and you can’t do anything in retribution or you'll get fired 👀 pls make it enemies to lovers😭 im a bitch for enemies to lovers aus ngl ok bye ilysm❤

HONEY SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER but you know I wanna give you the best content I can create and you deserve!

I present to you: Raspberry Chocolate MilkshakeThe title is not the best but I think it sums it up pretty well.

ANYWAYS, I hope you enjoy it!

/special thanks to @angelbabylu for helping me with this! Best personal editor ever!/

“Thank you for taking your time-”

“Fuck off, Clifford.”

“Wait, what did I do?”

Michael had been going to the same restaurant for a while now, and that interaction that took place three weeks into his newly found routine had been haunting him ever since.

He liked Chloe, she was nice to everyone and never yelled back at those men who tried to shame her for the uniform she had to wear. And she looked damn good in her uniform. The little black skirt hugged her hips close to perfection, the green button down complimented her skin colour. Her hair up in a snug ponytail let the dining lights define her cheekbones even more.

She hated it.

Chloe hated the way she had to suck in her tummy to zip up the skirt. She hated the roll of fat under her bra she had to deal with when buttoning up the polyester shirt. She hated how her eyes seemed to stretch into the back of her head when her hair was up. She felt like a tight blob during working hours, but she had to keep the smile on her face to keep earning the money.

Unfortunately, most money she made was when Michael was her customer. The musician who insisted on taking the wobbly stool at the end of the bar. The one who kept ordering drinks that weren’t on the menu. The man who took forever to decide what to eat, even if he’d been eating at the same place for nearly 6 months now, and then he changed his mind at the last minute.

“It’s all the same, Michael,” she tapped the pen on her notepad. Having been his personal waitress for long, they were already acquainted with each other’s quirks and manias. Her boss was both scared and excited about their interactions. She worried that Chloe was rude to the guitarist of 5 Seconds of Summer, but also liked that Michael seemed to enjoy it. “You can’t possibly find something that you haven’t tried.”

The bell of the diner rang to announce more customers had arrived. Chloe turned her head to the door and gave the family of three a friendly smile. Michael noticed her sudden change of demeanour and was crushed by how nice she could be, just as long as she wasn’t dealing with him.

“You always seem so happy to help me with my order, I feel honoured,” the words slipped out of his mouth in a playful matter, but really, he wondered when Chloe would actually be pleased to see him. Everyone loved her, and he could see why. Whenever a table got a cold meal and started complaining, Chloe would stand there and nod, listening to the others rant. She would apologize on behalf of the kitchen and promise to throw a couple of extra fries for the inconvenience. That always seemed to calm the worked up clients. She made sure every single shake she served had been topped with either three cherries or lots of chocolate sprinkles. Michael had never had to ask for another portion of whipped cream since he started having his lunch here. He took his whipped cream seriously.

“I love it that instead of helping me choose, your eyes are glued to that couple over there and their really cool kid that has a Pikachu hat.” Michael followed her gaze to the table with the family, a grin on his face.

Even when he tried to start a flirty banter, Chloe could only take it the wrong way. Maybe, if she wasn’t his waitress, she would flirt back. Maybe, she could take his words lightly and playfully nudge his shoulder before responding with something like, “My attention is valuable, Clifford. If you were wearing that hat I would even consider you cute.”

But she didn’t say that.

“So… the burger and a salad?” she jotted down his usual order and then walked away from him.

- - -

“Chloe! The stool is tumbling again!” Michael’s words echoed through the half-empty diner he’d been sitting in for the past hour. He so desperately wanted her attention, even if it came in the form of a frown. Her chest seemed to grow red when his voice hit her ears, also red now, and she set the broom aside before making her way to the end of the bar. She could feel her coworkers eyes on her. They kept teasing her that she needed to do something drastic, like ask Michael out on a date, or spill a shake on his pants so she would have to help him clean up.

The scenarios were several and varied, and none of them bothered her. But Michael could be such a jerk. Of course, the only reason he kept sitting on that shitty stool was so he could watch her bend down and stick another three sugar packets under the rickety metal leg.

Michael just enjoyed having her near, even if it was for a few seconds. He’d tried to spark up conversations about her job, but that only seemed to irritate her more. He’d tried to ask her about her hobbies or what she did in her spare time.

“My commute is 40 minutes long, Michael. I don’t have much time to spare,” was the closest he got to a real answer.

Chloe wiped the sweat droplets that had glided down her forehead, she stood up and shook the stool a little, it didn’t wobble. “There,” she whispered, immediately turning on her heels to go back to her chores.

That small movement, that uncalculated spin, caused her elbow to collide into Michael’s glass of raspberry-chocolate milkshake, the one she had begged the bartender to make even if it wasn’t on the menu. Michael’s eyes saw the fall in slow motion. Before he registered it, the liquid was all over his pants and her skirt.

“Fuck”, they mumbled at the same time. The faint laughter from the other side of the diner was obvious. That until they heard Chloe’s boss making her way towards them, apologizing for Ms. Clumsy’s earned title.

They were told to go to the back and they obeyed, getting whistles from the other waiters.

“I’m really sorry, Mike,” Chloe had never called him Mike and he noticed. She soaked and wrung out a cloth before handing it to him, “it was an accident.”

Her eyes wouldn’t meet his, he could tell she was embarrassed, but he wasn’t good at dealing with awkward situations smoothly. “Was it really? I thought you just wanted me here in the back without my pants on.”

Clearly, the joke was not amusing. “Oh, fuck off, Clifford.”

They remained quiet as they dampened their clothes, but the stain wouldn’t come off. He had a meeting in an hour, she had her mom’s birthday after work. The room was barely bright, crammed by boxes full of imperishable goods. Chloe didn’t want to do it, but she walked around a pile of boxes anyways, and took her skirt off. At the sound of the zipper being undone, Michael quirked an eyebrow. “What are you doing back there?” He wasn’t stupid, but he wanted to hear her say it. Besides, if she was taking off her bottoms, it wouldn’t be weird for him to do it as well. The damp cloth wasn’t working, he couldn’t see properly, his boxers were also getting wet. He was uncomfortable and just wanted to take the pants off.

“My mum’s turning 50 today.”

“What?”

A sigh came from the other side of the room, Chloe was sat on a small box and trying to get the stain out of her skirt with better lighting in that position. “She’s big on birthdays and she doesn’t like it when I wear anything but formal when she has people over. This is her favourite skirt on me. It’s the only thing she would like me to wear. Otherwise, she’d shove me into this hideous yellow dress she has for special occasions. It is uncomfortable and if I can avoid wearing that, I will. I can’t go back home and grab a pair of pants because then I wouldn’t be there on time, and she hates unpunctuality. Even though, she’s never, ever on time. Ever.”

“So… ever?” Michael stripped off his pants and heard something unknown to him until now. A light chuckle.

“Ever.”

Michael sat on a box and started working on the stain, the same way she was doing, trying to reach better lighting. He didn’t say anything else, this was the most she had told him about herself. This was the girl he had wanted to get to know for months now, but hadn’t been able to because any word that slipped from his lips seemed to annoy her.

Another sigh. “It’s not like I’m scared of her, because I’m not. I just want her to be happy today. She has a perfectionist side, maybe I got it from her, and I don’t want her to be bitching tonight about me not wearing something she likes. It’s not the point of tonight, is it? She’s been so scared of turning 50. I’ve told her that she’s not old and all of that, but I don’t think that’s what scares her. I think she regrets not doing all the things she wanted to do before turning 50, you know?”

Michael hesitated for a second, he wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not.

“I don’t wanna be like that. It sounds exhausting,” she huffed and scrubbed the black skirt clean. “You’re not going to have that problem, Mike. I don’t think you will. And if you do, just remember that time you were in your twenties and had to sit in a gloomy room with no pants, listening to some waitress talk about her 50-year-old mum.”

That small chuckle again. Michael could feel his chest growing warmer. “Uh… I guess I’ll have to strike this off my bucket list,” he laughed lightly, she followed, he gained confidence. “Actually, I’m still scared.”

Chloe’s silence served as fuel to continue his train of thought out loud.

“I’m, uh… I’m scared that I’ll reach 50 and I’ll feel like that. I’m doing a lot of shit, Chloe. Like… a lot. And it’s fun, I’m having a great time and I’m putting all my energies into doing the things that I love but… what if I wake up being a 50-year-old man feeling unfulfilled? I know it’s crazy, but-”

“It’s not crazy.”

Michael rested his head against the wall behind him and sighed. He had never told this fear to anyone. “Thank you, Chlo,” he rocked his head towards her side of the room and caught a glimpse of her ponytail.  No other words were exchanged. For the first time, he enjoyed the stillness between them, unspoken complicity.

They put their garments back on when they were semi-dry and half-decently unstained. Chloe took a deep breath to suck her stomach in and zip up the skirt, Michael brushed the dust off his pants when he stood up. They felt closer to each other somehow. She hated to admit it, but Michael was actually a nice person. Once she let her guard down and was willing to accept his words, he was pleasant company. She’d been so hard on him. His awkward way of dealing with social situations wasn’t the best, but she didn’t make it easier either.

“Hey, Mike,” Chloe turned to face him before she opened the door back into the diner. His green eyes glistened through the pathetic fluorescent lightbulb. She seemed nervous, a cute kind of nervous, and he was eager to hear what she was about to say. “Do you…” she cleared her throat, “… do you want to go out sometime?”

“Oh my…” Michael’s laugh made her stomach drop and he noticed the flush on her cheeks, “Chloe, I’ve been trying to ask you out for months now! I can’t believe you beat me!”

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[magnoliasinbloom]

Lullaby

AO3 :: Previously

Chapter 4

Another week passed and I wasn’t any closer to telling my parents about my pregnancy. I felt lucky I was still on holiday for winter term. All I did was sleep, eat when the nausea wasn’t horrible, and think about Frank. I was still putting off the doctor. But Mum noticed how exhausted I was all the time.

“Are you still sleeping, love?” She peeked into my room, glancing at the mess of clothes on the floor.

“Um, yeah. I think I might be coming down with something.” I sniffled for good effect, but my cheeks burned red. Jamie had always said I had a glass face, and everything I felt or thought was plain and clear.

Mealtimes were hellish. I seemed to have developed an aversion to every single food in the house, particularly salad and eggs. I felt dizzy and nauseated often; I worried the intensity of my symptoms were too obvious, and Mum and Dad would put two and two together.

Frank and I had texted a few times in between. There were no further plans to cement yet, particularly if I still hadn’t let my parents know about the situation. Finally, Frank called to tell me he had booked me a doctor’s appointment, through NHS.

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “So, when are we going? Classes start back up on Monday.”

“Well, the thing is I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. Term’s back on, I suspect I’ll be rather busy. I’ll text you the information. But call me and let me know how it goes.”

“Frank—”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, love. But you know how it is.”

“You made the appointment; I would have thought you had chosen a time on your schedule that—”

“They’ll give you an ultrasound. Give me a copy of that, will you?”

I let out a breath sharply through my nose. He cared, I told myself. He’s just busy. I would be too, if I were at uni. “Well, when can I see you after that?”

“Soon, Claire, I promise. You alright?”

“I suppose. So—”

“Talk to you later then. I’ll text. Bye.”

I bit my lip as I held my mobile. On a whim, I texted Jamie.

hey, when are you back at uni?

wk after you are. how’s things ssnch?

puking’s no fun. feel like 10 kinds of shit

sry to hear that. it’ll pass. I assume you haven’t told your parents yet?

not yet

ssnch you can’t put it off much longer

He was absolutely right of course. Jamie usually was. I had analyzed every possible solution, every possible route I could take. What worried me most was my parents’ response, what they might say or do if they were angry. Of course they would be angry—it wasn’t a strong enough word. There was a tiny part of me that hoped they would be understanding. I played every possible scenario in my head.

I tried to delude myself in thinking that perhaps the test had given a false positive. It happened all the time. The only way to be sure was a blood test and a visit to the obstetrician. What if I could call Frank and tell him that it had been a false alarm? Would things go back to the way they were? It occurred to me that I could also lose this baby. Miscarriages happened all the time. The thought made me uneasy; I didn’t wish for that of course, in case I was actually pregnant. But it could all blow over after the doctor’s appointment. When I lay awake at night, I thought about two things. One, that I didn’t know what to pray for. No baby, healthy baby, happy ending? I rolled over on my side.

The second thing was: Classes at uni didn’t start until week after next. Frank had lied.

~~~

The information Frank had given me took me once again to the other side of Glasgow. I guess he thought as I did, to visit a clinic where no one would know me. I’d been to a gyno before, but this was brand new territory. I sat nervously  in the chair, wishing I could just leave. After jotting down my medical history, the doctor—French sounding, Dr. Gascogne—set me at ease though, and I could only imagine how many girls she saw in my same situation. I didn’t ask, but she may have sensed it, when she asked me if I had any concerns. I told her about Frank and the home pregnancy test.

She pulled out a calendar, and we figured out some dates. It didn’t look good for me, judging by her expression. Then she told me to get on the exam table, and sat next to me facing an ultrasound machine. She smeared cold gel on my stomach, apologizing when I winced.

The screen came on, blurry with electronic snow. Dr. Gascogne moved the mouse-like indicator, placing it directly below my belly button. I squinted, trying to make something out of the indistinct shadows. Then she paused, and froze the screen. She pointed her finger at it, and all of a sudden I saw it. The baby.

It was tiny, no more than ten centimeters across, or so the doctor said. But there it was, unmistakable. It was just like the movies, with the slightly amorphous head, the tiny arms and legs, and the cord leading into its belly. I forgot all about my discomfort, and everything else in the room. A few tears ran down my face, and I didn’t even bother wiping them away. I covered my mouth, and a few hiccupping sobs escaped. But I smiled. The doctor flipped a switch on the machine, and a small but steady pounding rhythm filled the room. Its heartbeat, strong and real, like my own. There was life inside me; I started crying in earnest.

Dr. Gascogne simply handed me tissues until I could get up and put myself to rights. I used the toilet; then I sat on the closed lid for as long as ten minutes, staring at the bog roll in front of me like a crazy person. My brain was registering activity but my mind was somewhere else. Until I remembered where I was and finally left the bathroom. Dr. Gascogne prescribed folic acid tablets and gave me a pamphlet with standard care guidelines for pregnancy. She handed me a printout of the ultrasound showing the gently curves of the baby in black and white. I nodded on autopilot and then I found myself on the tube headed home.

My eyes kept brimming over with tears, but the rest of the passengers were too kind to notice or comment.  I wiped my eyes with the heels of my hands like a child. I focused on the whirr of the tracks to better hear my confused thoughts. The test hadn’t lied after all; I even thought I knew what to pray for now. Hearing its tiny heart beating with such determined force had finally made it real for me. And I couldn’t wait to make it real for Frank.

[pjbehindthesun]

chapter 27: carrots, rusty bikes, and troublesome ghosts

Saturday, November 10th, 1990

“What does the coleslaw come with?”

“I’m sorry?” I look up from the order pad I’m scribbling on, not having quite registered the guy’s question the first time.

“The coleslaw, what does it come with?”

“Oh, uhm, it’s a side, so you can get it with any entree you want, really…”

“So can I just order coleslaw?”

“Well, I don’t think we sell it separately, I think it comes on the side of whatever you order.”

“Okay, how much for just a side of coleslaw then?”

This is it. I’ve died. I’ve died and gone to hell where my punishment for being a horrible human being is to be stuck in a permanently looping, restaurant-themed version of “Who’s on First.” Welcome back to work, Cora. With tremendous effort, I try again in my most patient customer-service voice.

“I don’t think I can get you just a side of coleslaw. Can I get you something else? Maybe something that comes with coleslaw?”

“I really don’t want anything else. I just want coleslaw.”

“Okay… but sir, it’s really the smallest possible portion, it’s just a little metal cup with three bites’ worth of salad.” I hold up my hands and make a circle shape with my fingers about the size of a half dollar coin, trying to impress upon this nitwit the concept of a fucking side of coleslaw.

“Fine,” he sighs, and it takes every ounce of my restraint not to stab one of my own eyes out with my pencil, “can I get it on the side of some fries?”

Fries. Are. Also. A. Side. Someone please kill me. You know what? Fuck it. Fine. I surrender and jot down “kill me now” on my notepad next to a sketch of a little dagger dripping blood.

“Wait, what’s actually in the coleslaw?”

As tempted as I am to do my best Charlton Heston Soylent Green impersonation to run this asshole out of my restaurant, I draw a deep breath and begin a faithful recitation of the ingredients in the most common side dish in America. “Cabbage, carrots, mayo…”

“Oh, I don’t like carrots.”

“So… you don’t want the coleslaw?”

“No, I do, I just don’t want the carrots.”

“Okay, but… it’s just that… we buy the coleslaw as a mix, sir. The carrots are just part of it.”

“If it’s such a small scoop, then it shouldn’t be that hard to take them out, right?”

My anger flashes, but then a different voice, more nasal than this guy’s but much more pleasing, floods my brain.

“You wear your feelings right… here.”

The memory is so immediate, I can even feel the weight of Stone’s hand perched on my shoulder, and for a split second I even glance to my left to see if I can spot his fingers there.

Of course they’re not there. God, I’m such a fucking idiot. I haven’t seen or heard from Stone since he literally ran out of my apartment. Not even a phone call, and it’s been four days. There’s only one logical conclusion to draw. I crossed a line when I kissed him, and he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. He must have spent that whole day at my place because Lucy asked him to. And probably because he felt sorry for me, too. That’s all. Nothing more.

But I had to go and kiss him, uninvited, like a jerk. And that’s not even the first time! When I think back to that night we spent at his place, back to that moment in the tree, when I was so sure I understood his feelings: who kissed who? Me. I started it. I was the one who attacked him, not the other way around. He was the one trying to slow everything down.

“Oh yeah, that’s why you came over here and threw yourself at me last night, the overwhelming happiness of it all.”

Again Stone’s old words resound in my ears, only this time they aren’t the tender ones from my bed the other day but the harsh, mocking ones after we woke up together in his. It couldn’t be plainer that I’ve been misreading his feelings all along. Maybe he really did suffer some temporary insanity that night, and he thought he had feelings for me, but it was only because he got carried away, and now that he sees what a fucking trainwreck I am, he regrets all of it.

Or maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he actually did want me, maybe his affection did come from a genuine place after all, but who can blame him for losing interest in someone who’s stupid enough to be cheated on for an entire year? I’m like the textbook definition of damaged goods, so it’s only natural that his feelings have changed.

“I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you can do to make me not want you.”

Damn these stupid hallucinations. My pulse quickens as my body remembers his touch under the hemlock tree in perfect detail. I believe he did really want me, for a while. But we’re not there anymore. We’re here. Wherever here is. So much has happened since that night. And I obviously figured out how to drive him away after all. He doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t blame him for that. The shittiest part is that I feel like I owe him an apology, an explanation, a promise that I’ll stop throwing myself at him, except that even calling him to tell him that much feels like overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t want to talk to me. Message received loud and clear. I can take a hint. I just hope I haven’t ruined our friendship entirely. I don’t think I could take losing Stone on top of everything else.

“Miss? Hello, earth to Carrots over here?”

On the bright side, my misery over my situation with Stone is enough to shake off the murderous rage I was just feeling toward Coleslaw Guy. I can always spit in the guy’s salad, anyway. Maybe there’s a slight chance I’m still contagious. Always a silver lining somewhere.

“Of course, sir. I’ll be back with your order soon.”

Turning my back to his table, I make eye contact with Emily over at the bar, who has evidently been watching the entire exchange with Coleslaw Guy for her evening entertainment.

“Welcome back, Cora, we saved the best tables for you.”

“I’m ever so grateful! How will I ever, ever repay you?” I fawn, laying my accent on thicker. “Oh, I know. You win the grand prize, you get to help me pick the carrots out of that guy’s coleslaw with tweezers.”

“What??”

“He asked me to uncarrot his coleslaw. You can’t make this shit up.”

“And you actually agreed to do it?”

“I’m broke, Em, I’ll humiliate myself a real whole lot for a decent tip.”

“Well don’t look now, ‘cause your favorite riff raff are descending. Worst tippers I’ve ever seen, but at least they’re cute about it.”

She nods over my shoulder, and I turn around to figure out what she means. My stomach lurches when I spot a familiar group of idiots gathered on the sidewalk, waving enthusiastically through the window like a bunch of well-wishers on a dock seeing off a cruise ship. Jeff’s grinning cross-eyed, Lucy’s practicing her Queen of England wave, and Chris and Matt blow sloppy kisses from behind them. But that’s nothing compared to Mike, who pulls up his shirt to press his nipple against the glass in a display of wanton desire, causing the customers closest to the window to scoot their chairs back several inches in alarm.

“Oh god, no…” Emily shields her eyes, blushing scarlet to the roots of her hair and bustling out of sight, which is almost enough to sidetrack me from noticing that Stone’s the only one who’s not clowning around. And now he’s the only one I can see. Standing off to the side, one arm cradling a 12-pack of beer and the other hand shoved deep in the pocket of his brown coat, looking anywhere but at our friends or through the window at me. Looking annoyed, more than anything else. Looking like he’d like to be anywhere but here. Whoever’s idea it was to drop by and assault the window of my cafe, it certainly wasn’t his. What happened to all the oxygen in this place? Why can’t I breathe?

Stone disappears out of sight down the sidewalk, and the rest of the guys, having gotten the reaction they wanted, follow after him. Lucy waves at them before ducking inside, much to the apprehension of the customers who were closest to Mike’s nipple.

“I swear I’ve never seen those people before in my life,” she reassures them with a sunny smile as she makes her way over to me.

“To what did I owe that eye-gouging spectacle?”

“They were just glad to see you back at work, I think they miss monopolizing your section.” Lucy parks on a barstool and pockets the stolen cookie wrapped in a napkin that I’ve just handed her with as much stealth as a thief in broad daylight can manage.

“Not enough to stop by for dinner though, huh?”

“Nah, they’re gonna go practice. They’ve got that show in a few days, and I think they’ve done fuck-all so far to prepare for it.”

“Ah, right, I forgot all about that.”

Liar. Their show at the Off Ramp on Tuesday has been on my mind all week. I’ve been trying to decide whether I should go or not. I’m not even going to bother asking Lucy, because I know what she’ll say if I tell her I’m considering skipping it.

“But I think they were gonna swing by for dinner later,” she goes on. “How late are you working?”

Oh, sure they will. And then Stone will skip off to that root canal he’s been looking forward to. I start reorganizing coffee mugs to give myself something more productive to do.

“Oh, uh, my shift’s almost done.”

“Great! Then you can come by the gallery when you get off?”

“I should really catch up on schoolwork, Luce, I have a paper to present on Monday, and…” somehow reorganizing the mugs has become a game to see how high I can stack them before they fall, and now Lucy and I are both staring at my handiwork.

“At least pretend to humor the idea before you shoot it down, will you?”

“I’m not shooting anything down,” there’s been more than enough shooting down happening in my life lately for my tastes, “I just have a lot to do.”

My friend lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I don’t suppose this is another one of those ‘avoiding Stone’ attempts you’re always so successful at?”

“What? No.”

“Hey, you don’t get to act surprised. I’m on solid ground here! You’ve got priors!”

The mug on the top of my impressive tower slips off, and Lucy makes a remarkable save while I stabilize the rest of my construction.

“I should probably put these back,” I mutter, hoping for a change of subject as I return the mugs to their proper arrangement.

“I knew it, you’re avoiding him. What did he do now?” she frowns. “Did he do something stupid that day he came over?”

Him? No. He did nothing wrong. Me, on the other hand… stupid slut who throws herself at anyone who shows her the slightest hint of affection…

“What? Of course not. He was great.”

“Uh huh. So then you’re avoiding him because…?”

“I’m not avoiding him!”

“Come on, Cora, cut the shit, yes you are.”

“It’s not like he’s called me either, you know. It’s just been kinda quiet for a few days, don’t make a big thing about it.”

“Wait, he hasn’t called you either?” she wrinkles her whole face in confusion. Me too, friend! That’s what I’ve been saying! I’m not avoiding him! He’s avoiding me! I’m just following his lead and trying not to make him any more uncomfortable around me than he already is! Oh no, what if she thinks she needs to meddle and try to push us closer together? Is that why she called him to come over and help me pack in the first place? No, no, I need to nip this suspicion in the bud before she makes everything worse.

“No, but it’s not a big deal, really. Maybe I can stop by practice for a couple of minutes. We’ll see how I feel when I get done here, I’m pretty tired.”

“Yes!” She fist-pumps in triumph. “Admit it, woman, you need socialization. This hermit thing is not a good look for you. Now that I’m on a roll, what about movie night tomorrow?”

“Lucyyyy,” I whine, slumping my shoulders for maximum pathos.

“None of the guys, just us. Pleeeeaase?” Her wheedling drowns out my whining until I cave, not wanting to make a scene.

“Ugh. Fine. One movie, I pick.”

Lucy jumps off her barstool, bouncing excitedly on her heels. “Two movies, and I get the final say.“

“What the –”

“She who wields the Blockbuster card controls the choices!”

“Tyrant! Okay, fine, at whose apartment am I serving this sentence?”

“You always have better snacks at your place,” she shrugs, breaking off a piece of the contraband cookie in her coat pocket and glancing sideways before stuffing it in her mouth, looking about as sneaky as a chipmunk storing up for winter.

“Fair point. Hey, that’s actually not a bad idea, you can pick up Jeff’s pan while you’re there.”

“Whmphch pn??” she garbles through her massive mouthful of cookie.

“Oh, uh, Eddie borrowed one. He brought over some food the other day.”

“When was that?”

“Wednesday, I think?”

“I didn’t hear about that!”

“It didn’t exactly warrant an announcement in the papers. He knew I was sick, he brought dinner over, we ate it, he left.” I shrug.

“That’s really sweet of him. What did you guys talk about?” She frowns before demolishing the rest of her treat. Why is she so interested in Eddie coming over to hang out? It’s not a big deal.

“We didn’t.”

“What do you mean, ‘we didn’t’?”

“I mean, it’s Eddie, he’s sorta the silent type.”

“Hmph,” she mutters, tossing the crumpled up napkin at my head and forming an exaggerated pout. “You don’t tell me anything anymore, you know that? I’ll see you in a little bit!”

As I watch her leave, I feel a twinge of remorse for keeping her at arm’s length lately. It’s not like I don’t want to spend time with my best friend, but it’s in her nature to want to talk about absolutely everything in excruciating detail, and what’s there to say? I was dumb enough to get strung along by Alex for an entire year, I’ve completely screwed up my entire friendship with Stone, and I don’t even understand what’s so newsworthy about a silent dinner with my neighbor.

Suddenly, tweezing carrots out of coleslaw sounds like a more manageable task than understanding my own social life.

***

“FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!”

Mike’s outburst drowns out the dissonant sound of everyone cutting their own playing short. I share a quick glance with Chris, who looks amused more than anything as he takes the interruption to justify a beer break. Jeff’s scowling at his bass, and Matt’s got the patient expression of a saint as he rests his sticks on his snare to watch the guitarist jumping up and down.

“Mike… mellow, man, it’s fine.”

“Yeah, totally fine that our lead guitarist can’t count to seven,” I roll my eyes.

“Shut the fuck up, Stone, it’s your fault, it’s your stupid time signature. 99% of the world couldn’t figure this thing the fuck out.”

“Yeah, too bad you’re not in that other 4%, huh?”

Mike opens his mouth to retort, but he almost looks closer to tears than actual coherence, so it’s probably not a terrible thing that Matt speaks up before I do.

“Alright, it’s no big deal, let’s just try it again…”

“Yeah,” I offer in a slightly less snide tone, “let’s just go through the chord chart one more time…”

But at some muttered jumble of words out of the side of Mike’s mouth that sound distinctly like “shove it up your ass,” I decide to let Matt field this remedial music lesson and grab a drink with Chris.

As practices go, this is about as un-stressful as it ever gets, provided Cready can wrap his head around this particular song in the next couple days. I’m pretty attached to it, so I hope we can pull it off live, but in his defense, we have practiced precisely zero times so far, and it’s probably the weirdest thing I’ve ever asked him to play.

“He’ll get it,” Chris muses, watching Matt and Jeff take Mike through the pattern for the nth time.

“And if not, big fucking deal, it’s gonna be fun no matter what.”

“Should be,” he turns to me with his face split in a wide grin. “Are the girls gonna show up?”

“To the show, or here?” I concentrate my attention on the label of my beer can as though it’s the most fascinating design I’ve ever seen. Anything to avoid this conversation.

He shrugs. “Either. Both.”

“Beats me.” I really wish I knew, but hassling Cora about the show, or even stopping by Cyclops to try and get her attention, feels all wrong lately. She doesn’t need me breathing down her neck right now… Jesus, no harm in thinking about other scenarios that involve breathing down her neck, though, right?

“Huh. What gives? You guys still not done being idiots yet?”

“They’re always idiots,” Mike yells over his shoulder as he fucks up the riff yet again.

“Idiots who can count to seven,” I snarl, before lowering my voice so only Chris can hear. “Anyway, she’s kinda laying low lately, so I’d be surprised if she shows up, either here or Tuesday.”

“Laying low? How come?”

Oh, fuck, I keep forgetting that not everybody knows. Should I tell him? It’s really not my story to tell, and she’s so private about everything, she might murder me if she knew I told anyone.

“She still sick?” Chris presses.

“Nah,” Jeff corrects, “fuckin’ Alex had a girl on the side for like the last year, she just found out about it the other day. Walked in on them, I think.”

So much for giving Cora her privacy, although I guess that was too much to hope for with this crowd. At least I didn’t have to be the one blabbing about it, though. Thanks, Ames. Maybe if I just sit here and pound this beer, the conversation will move on soon?

“Shit…” Chris mumbles, looking slowly between Jeff and me.

“Yeah. I mean good riddance, always hated the guy and I’m fuckin’ glad he’s not my neighbor anymore, but I think Cora’s still in pretty bad shape.”

“But that means she’s single now, right?” Mike calls.

“Hey, look who finally learned math,” I kick myself for chiming back in, but Mike’s just such an easy target.

“So if she’s single, what are you waiting around for?” he goes on, and just like that, all eyes are back on me. Shit, I should have kept my mouth shut. “The two of you need to figure your thing out and just fuck already, the puppy eyes routine is getting old.”

“‘Just fuck already,’” I repeat bitterly, “Jeeesus. Does Dear Abby know about you?”

“He’s got a point,” Jeff piles on, while Chris’s eyes continue to bounce back and forth like he’s watching a ping pong tournament. “You guys just need to work it out.”

“Look, she just broke up with the guy! You think I want to be her rebound?”

If I’m being I’m honest, I don’t give a fuck what we call it. I’ll gladly be her rebound. I can handle it. I can work with that. I think even being her rebound sounds a whole lot healthier than where we’ve been, or what she’s had to deal with from Alex. And I definitely don’t need Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber here to give me relationship advice or tell me what I want. But that’s the whole fucking point, it’s not just about what I want, I’m trying to give her the space she needs. She gets that, right? Why doesn’t anybody else?

“Kinda stupid to worry about being her rebound if you’re already together, dude.”

“We are not together!”

“You’re not not together, though,” Mike butts in.

“Oh, excellent, the relationship guru speaks again. How about this, if I wanna be used for a bunch of meaningless sex with a girl who won’t even give me her phone number, you’ll be the first one I run to for advice.”

“You say that like it’s bad,” Mike shrugs.

“Alright Dr. Ruth, can you count to seven yet or what?”

To my relief, everyone seems willing to drop the topic and get back to playing, at least for a little while. But I’m the one who botches a chord when Lucy jogs down the stairs and takes a seat on the beat-up couch, because I’m too busy keeping an eye out on the stairwell for Cora to concentrate properly on playing. But soon, we’ve practiced as much as any of us feel we need to for today, and we’re packing up to leave, and Cora still hasn’t shown up. Not that I had any good reason to expect her to be here. It’s not like I specifically asked her to come. I’m starting to feel pretty shitty about that. It was lazy of me to assume that she’d show up just because Lucy planned to. I probably should have called her and asked her. I should definitely tell her I want her to be at our show. Maybe I’ve taken this “giving her space” thing a little too far. It’s been almost a week since we’ve seen or talked to each other, and we didn’t exactly part on the most crystal clear of terms. I’ve spent most of the intervening time replaying that kiss, thinking about what I should have done differently, what I should have told her instead of just leaving…

But she understands, right? We’ve been honest with each other. I feel secure about that much, at least. She knows how I feel about her. There’s no point in beating a dead horse. It was definitely the right decision not to let things get out of hand so soon after her breakup. And whatever these assholes say, it’s definitely still too soon. I’d feel like a total jerk just dropping by her work, or her place, and pushing her into anything she’s not ready for. When she’s ready to talk about it again, I’ll be here.

“Stone? You gonna take up residence down there or what?” Lucy calls.

Jesus, when did everyone leave? I grab my bag and follow them up the stairs and out onto the street. Mike and Chris have already disappeared, and Jeff’s kneeling down on the ground, occupied in an argument with his ancient bike lock, which is remaining stubbornly locked despite his best caveman efforts to jerk it open. Lucy’s standing a few paces away from him, and I spot my opportunity.

“So, uh, Cora had work, I take it?” I ask under my breath, walking backwards a few steps in the hope she’ll follow.

Lucy’s too focused on inexplicably picking crumbs out of her jacket pocket to look at me right away, but she gets the hint and trails after me so we can keep our voices down and be drowned out by Jeff’s grumbling. “Think so. I mean, her shift’s probably already done, but she wanted to catch up on school stuff.” Her gaze bounces up, having cleared the offending debris. “Have you talked to her lately?”

“You did tell me to leave her alone, as I recall.”

“I told you no such thing. I told you to keep it in your pants –”

“– check –”

“– not completely disappear. And ew, Stone, I don’t literally want an update about your pants parts.”

“I haven’t disappeared, I just wanted to give her a little space.”

Her face rearranges into that same menacing squint from the stairwell. “Not calling her for a week’s kind of extreme, don’t you think?”

Shit… maybe I did take this too far. “Did she tell you that?”

But before Lucy can respond, Jeff straightens up in the background and finally frees his bike.

“Got it! It’s that hunk of rust in the bike rack, it’s been there for like two years and it’s fucking impossible to work around.”

He kicks at a long-abandoned object barely recognizable as a bicycle, covered in grime and rust, leaning pathetically against the frame of the rack. I wave goodbye to the two of them as they head in the direction of their building, my attention now caught up in the rusty bike. I give it a good shake, and apart from needing essentially every part replaced, the frame itself seems to be intact. About the right size, too. It’s perfect. I try to pull it free myself, but the bike lock restraining it is still in decent enough shape to put up a fight. This is going to take more imagination.

***

Sunday, November 11th, 1990

“A Swayze double feature and you didn’t even get Road House? What kind of bullshit is that?”

Cora rummages through the video store bag on her kitchen counter, pouting at the movies I chose.

“Call me crazy, I’m just not in a throat-rippy-outty mood.”

“First time for everything,” she smirks, tearing into an enormous bag of red licorice, “but at least you got the right junk food.”

“Come on, not even you can argue with Dirty Dancing. And I couldn’t get any of you fuckers to see Ghost with me in theaters, so here’s your payback.”

“Christ. I’m gonna need something stronger than these to get through all this romance shit,” she chuckles around a Twizzler. “It’s official… we need brownies.”

“Only if you make them. You know I can’t bake to save my life.”

“What’s the old saying? Give a woman a brownie, feed her for a day…” she says, her back to me as she starts pulling baking supplies out of an upper cabinet.

“And at least she’ll have one glorious brownie and no food poisoning from trying to attempt the recipe herself?”

“You underestimate my teaching abilities. Just make your own batch and do as I say.” She gives a banged-up metal baking pan a blind toss over her shoulder, and I just barely manage to catch it. “Here, you make your batch in that one so you can take it back to Jeff’s when you go.”

I know that if I try to pry more information out of her about Eddie coming over for dinner, she’s just going to clam up, so as much as I’m dying to know what happened, I keep the questions to myself. What did they talk about for an entire evening? Since when do the two of them just hang out by themselves? Have I missed something between them, or is this a new development? Does Eddie know about her whole… situation with Stone? Wait a minute, I’m jumping the gun, does any of it even matter? Maybe they’re just two lonely, recently dumped people keeping each other company and it’s completely harmless, like she says. Yeah, right, sure, what could possibly go wrong with that?

“Speaking of Jeff, I feel like a shitty friend,” she goes on, pulling cocoa and sugar and who knows what other kind of baking potions out of the cabinet, “how’s stuff going there?”

Whoops. I guess I can’t complain about Cora not telling me anything lately, can I? I haven’t exactly opened up to her about my latest worries.

“It’s fine…” I stall, pretending to read the index card she’s just pulled out of nowhere with the brownie recipe on it, like it’s going to do me any good at all.

“‘Fine?’ No way. Shot first, then spill.”

She plunks a plastic bottle of tequila down in front of me and slides a shot glass over. I guess I earned that.

“Euggghh,” I fight my gag reflex after downing the garbage tequila, “are you sure that’s not nail polish remover? Anyway, everything’s really fine, there’s nothing wrong, it’s just…”

“Say fine again and you take another shot.”

“Alright! I swear, it’s not bad, he just…”

“Lucyyy? What did he do? Do I need to kill him?”

“No! God, no, he just asked me to move in with him.”

She clutches her heart and staggers backward. “Oh, the horror! What did you say to such a depraved request?”

“I told him I needed to think about it.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Uhm… last week? Same day as the whole… thing… here.” I wave my hand around the apartment, still not sure if we’re at the point in her mourning process where I can mention Alex by name or if I should keep pretending he never existed. So far she hasn’t brought him up, so I’ve been taking cues from her.

“And you haven’t talked about it since then? Jesus, you’re an ice queen. Poor guy.”

“Oh, it’s even weirder than that, he seems to think we talked about it once before, but I can’t even remember. I’m the world’s worst girlfriend.”

“Here, see this list of dry stuff? Measure, then mix.” She hands me a whisk and a big bowl, and I try to imitate what she’s doing with her own batch but I can’t help getting flour everywhere and have to pause for another shot just to get my bearings. Cora follows suit. “You’re definitely not the world’s worst girlfriend, I think that title belongs… elsewhere. But he probably deserves an answer soon, don’t you think?”

“I just…”

“SUGAR!”

“What?” Her shout makes me spill even more of the white substance I’m doing a sloppy job of measuring.

“One and a quarter cups sugar, Lucy, you’re pouring out salt!”

“Oh, for the love of…”

Cora bursts out laughing and produces a funnel with which to pour my mountain of salt back into the canister. “You were saying?”

“I don’t know, things are just really good right now, and I don’t see any reason to change them. I really like having my own place.”

My chest feels instantly lighter, having expressed the worry to the one person who probably won’t judge me for feeling it. It’s got nothing to do with Jeff. Jeff’s amazing. So amazing that I’m constantly wondering when something’s going to go terribly wrong and screw up our entire relationship, because I have no previous evidence to suggest that relationships ever last this long without something getting screwed up. Cora thinks for a long moment before handing me the jar of actual sugar.

“Sure, that makes perfect sense. I kind of envy you, honestly, having your own apartment and being able to keep just that little bit of distance. I never really figured that out. If that’s what you need, that doesn’t make you the world’s worst girlfriend.”

“Not talking to him about it kinda does, though.”

“Maybe a little. What’s his plan, though? Does he want you to move into his place or does he want to move downstairs?”

“We haven’t talked about it, I have no clue.”

“Hey, watch what you’re doing, you’re getting eggshell in the batter… and what about Eddie?”

Eddie again, huh? Even apart from the very salient point she’s just raised about my situation, it’s weird that she thought of him before I did. She’s definitely got him on the brain…

“Ugh, shit, I have no idea. I can’t ask him to move out, that would be cruel. He doesn’t know anyone else here yet! And I bet he can’t afford a place of his own.”

“I didn’t say it was a reason not to, I was just wondering if you’d thought about it. And yeah, I don’t know how anyone our age manages not to have a roommate. You corporate fat-cat types with your fancy job things and your big bloated paychecks and your bejeweled monocles, you sicken me. I’m gonna have to start selling plasma soon if I don’t figure out a better way to afford this place by myself.”

“Maybe I should just move in with you, that would solve things.”

“Somewhat undercuts your argument about liking having the apartment all to yourself, though.”

“Ooh, logic, that definitely earns a shot. Maybe a double.”

We go several more rounds debating my boyfriend dilemma, and even though we don’t come up with an answer, it feels good to talk to her about it. I probably shouldn’t have waited so long, but it felt selfish to bring it up with everything going on in her life. If it bothers her, though, she isn’t letting on. Soon the brownies are in the oven and Dirty Dancing is on the TV, and for a while neither of us have to think about guy troubles, at least, any guy troubles unrelated to Patrick Swayze’s hips.

“Fuck me, I always forget about that ‘I carried a watermelon’ thing,” Cora sputters as she gets up to check on the brownies. “Most relatable scene ever filmed.”

I cackle, spilling a little wine into my lap as I twist to shout after her, “how do they look?”

“Uh, you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“Shit…”

“I mean the good news is, they look like they’re going to taste okay, no thanks to you. But I think I forgot to tell you to butter the pan first…” she holds the pan in question upside down and shakes it, freeing only a couple crumbs, and dissolving in a fit of snort laughter.

“Don’t blame me, I was just following orders!”

Cora returns with a second bottle of wine and her pan of brownies, which release from the pan much more obediently than the solid brick I baked, and we make short work of both the brownies and the wine. We’re just getting to the big finale dance scene when there’s an abrupt knock on the door that makes both of our drunk asses jump.

“DID YOU MAKE BROWNIES??”

Since it’s my dumbass boyfriend’s voice bellowing at the door, I’m the one who gets up to answer it, and sure enough, there’s Jeff, flanked by Eddie and Mike, with Stone hanging a ways back pretending to be interested in something down the hallway. They all look drunker than we do, which must have taken some effort.

“They DID!” Mike shouts, elbowing past me and making a beeline for Cora’s kitchen. Before either she or I can say anything, he’s attacking the solid mass of brownie in my pan with a fork, undeterred by the aesthetics. Cora’s watching him with a mix of amusement and horror, and I turn back to Jeff for answers.

“Are you guys drunk?”

“Who’sh drunk?” Mike retorts, confirming the answer.

“We, uh, stopped by Cyclops for a few rounds after practice –” Jeff explains.

“– and whose idea was that?” I ask as quietly as I can, watching Stone fidget in the background and Eddie looking like he’s trying to summon an interdimensional portal in the floor beneath his shoes, as usual.

“– but then we remembered you guys would be here doing your movie night thing, and the food’s free here, which is a vast improvement over Cyclops, so…”

I look back at Cora, who’s already getting up from the couch with a grin on her face, resigned to feeding the inebriated invaders. But then her face blanches as if she’s seen a ghost, and I realize she’s only just now noticed Stone. She hurries into the kitchen and sticks her face in the fridge.

“No Matt? Chris?” she calls.

“No, Matt ditched us after practice for a date, and Chris said he’d be by later, he wanted to make  a detour on the way,” Eddie says, slinking past me with a mumbled apology, followed by Stone.

“What part of girls’ night did you not understand?” I round on Jeff, but he’s looking so sheepish that it’s impossible to stay mad at him for long. I settle for a bite of his lip before I let him into the apartment.

***

“Sorry we crashed your movie night,” an unmistakable low rumble says behind me as I’m pulling a six pack out of the fridge.

“Are you kidding? Did you see her selections? I should be thanking you for the distraction.” I straighten up and see Eddie standing in my kitchen, shoulders hunched but barely containing a tight-lipped smile.

“How bad can it be?”

But the sound of Mike and Jeff singing along with Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes answers his question, and he gives a somber nod.

“As long as they don’t attempt the lift, we should be okay. Here, if you have lingering guilt about ruining our evening, your punishment is that you get to take your pan home and clean it, it’s a disaster.”

He takes the baking pan from me, inspecting the caked-on brownie mess left behind after Cready ravaged the edible contents. “Thanks, sorry, I didn’t mean to leave it here.”

Rather than responding, I watch him studying the pan for a moment. I wish I could figure out what to make of this guy. He’s always around at the worst possible moments. It’s a punchline at this point – if I have a horrible day, or if I’m doing my best to be left alone, I know to keep my eyes peeled for Eddie, because I’m bound to run into him. The weird thing is that I don’t even mind it as much anymore. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t expect anything of me, or maybe it’s that we have a weird amount of things in common and I don’t ever feel as though I have to explain myself to him, I don’t know. I’m just… I’m just really glad I met him when I did, and I have no idea how to tell him that without making him uncomfortable, especially since I’m starting to choke up, which is a completely horrifying development.

“Hey, Eddie, I –”

But before I can say anything else, my front door bursts open again, and this time it’s Chris, wearing a wicked smile and carrying large boxes under either arm.

“I come bearing gifts!”

Eddie and I trade winces and then head into the other room to figure out what kind of havoc he’s brought with him. The larger of the two boxes is a 24-pack of shitty beer, which is pretty much par for the course. It’s the label on the other box that I can’t quite… oh my god, he wouldn’t…

“Safety first, Smokey,” he sing-songs as he pushes a value-sized box of condoms against my chest, shoving harder and harder until I finally put my hands on it or risk being knocked over. “Welcome to the dating pool, you’re gonna hate it.”

“Already do,” I cringe, doing my best to ignore the wolf-whistles and applause from the couch behind me. “I’ll just… put these… somewhere…”

“Somewhere you can reach ‘em! Don’t listen to the Pope, you’re gonna need ‘em, it’s a jungle out there!” Chris calls after me as I chuck them into the darkness of my bedroom and close the door, hoping like hell that they’ll land somewhere inconspicuous and I won’t have to relive this mortification ever again. He’s wrong, I’m not gonna need them, they’ll expire before I ever crack open the box, it’s not like there’s a line of dudes beating down my door… I mean, apart from these idiots… and not for reasons that would require prophylactics… oh god, stop thinking about Stone… ugh, I hate my life…

The movie’s already starting by the time I re-join everyone in the living room. Chris is sprawled on the armchair, Mike’s co-opted all of the pillows from my window seat to make himself a nest on the floor, Eddie’s sitting primly in a dining room chair he dragged a few inches away from the table, Lucy’s sitting on Jeff’s lap on one end of the couch, and the only remaining seat, naturally, because that’s how this night is going, is between the two of them and Stone, who’s seated at the other end. He’s got one arm stretched out along the back of the couch and his eyes on the screen, and I’m debating whether I should risk sitting down next to him or find some excuse to avoid it, like washing dishes or lighting myself on fire, when his gaze flickers up to me. In a movement that’s almost a flinch, he folds at the elbow and starts fidgeting with his own ponytail, not entirely removing his arm from behind the only available seat, but at least freeing up a little space, so I take that as a sign that it’s okay for me to sit down. I can feel his obnoxious, beautiful, searching eyes on me as I do, and I do my best to shrink into the cushion, take up as little space as I can, breathe more quietly than normal, anything to avoid the reality that this is the closest together we’ve been since I kissed him. I fold my knees up underneath my chin, hoping he can’t tell that my heart’s racing. Why can’t I just be normal around him now?

“You got enough space?” he whispers. I nod, unwilling to look over at him even though I know he’s still staring at me. I wish he wouldn’t. I wish he didn’t look so at home on my sofa. I wish he wasn’t so cute in a baseball cap. I wish he didn’t smell so good. I wish I could stop cataloging his every distracting fidget with the label of his beer bottle or a piece of lint on the couch. For the first and probably last time ever, I wish I could just pay excruciatingly close attention to Ghost.

That last wish turns out to be a mistake when the main characters start fornicating over a pottery wheel to one of the most romantic songs of all time barely ten minutes into the film. Just fucking kill me, this scene goes on forever! Why won’t Stone move his fucking arm from behind the couch?! As if on cue, he leans over and gives a nervous chuckle in my ear.

“They’re really establishing the hell out of this sex scene, huh?”

I can’t bring myself to look at him again, so I just nod, hoping it’s too dark for him to see how red my face is.

“Wait, wait, their hands are clean now! When did they take the time to wash off all that clay?” Jeff shouts, as if he’s disagreeing with a ref’s call at a basketball game. “YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG, PATRICK!”

“Jesus, Demi Moore’s sculpting phallic pottery half naked, and you’re paying attention to their handwashing habits?” Stone cranes his neck to gawk at Jeff behind me. “You’re a lucky girl, Lucy.” I lean forward to dodge Jeff’s swipe, which hits its target with a satisfying smack.

Fortunately, the rest of the movie is significantly less embarrassing, and although I’d never admit it to Lucy, it’s not completely terrible. Nearly everyone else has fallen asleep by the time it’s over, with Stone and me seemingly the only ones who manage to stay awake despite the somniferous effect of all the booze and sugar. I don’t know what his excuse is, but I’m still feeling completely wired just from sitting next to him. God, this is why I was single all throughout high school, I can’t just be normal around a guy I have feelings for, I have to make everything awkward for myself. That, and I imbue every little interaction with too much meaning, I mean, he’s probably just watching the movie, there’s no way he’s sitting here analyzing my every movement out of the corner of his eye, the way I’ve been doing to him. At this age, I should know better than to let my expectations run away with me, right? I’m so stupid. This is what we are now, we’re just friends, I need to get that through my head.

And speaking of unrealistic expectations, when the whole group eventually wakes up and heads for the door, I find myself idiotically hoping Stone will circle back after saying goodnight just to say something privately to me, and of course it doesn’t happen. He leaves with everyone else, because what would he even have to say to me? It’s all in my head, anyway.

[fangirl-overload13]

Write my love and draw my heart

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Will was so giddy today that he felt like he could fly.

He had spent much of the night before reading various Greek myths to try and narrow down the choices of what they could base their story on and he had come up with what he thought would be the perfect myth. He hoped that Nico like the idea he had, he had a feeling that this was the perfect one to incorporate Nico’s amazing artwork in.

When English came around Will and Nico moved to sit together and discus what to make the story about. Will pulled out the print outs he’s brought with him for the myth and some examples of artwork he’d found for it online.

“So what do you think?” Will asked almost losing the battle with himself to keep the eagerness out of his voice, now if only he could keep his leg from bouncing so much he might just be able to pull of the cool and calm air he’s trying to pull off right now.

He watched as Nico’s eyes skimmed over the pages as he read and then flipped to the art pieces.

“You want to do this one?” it was basically impossible to tell what Nico was thinking as he asked that, damn his amazing ability to hide what he’s thinking or feeling!

“Yeah, I really love this one and I thought it would be something that could really go well with your art style.”

Nico was quiet for a moment as he gathered the pages together neatly and passed them back to Will. “Alright.”

“Really?” Will hated how much it showed that he was pleased with Nico’s response.

“Sure. Are you still planning on coming over after school today?” Nico asked as he started making little jot notes along the side of his page that outlined the requirements for the project.

“Yeah. If you want we can pick something to eat up on the way to your place so we don’t have to pause for too long while working.”

“Sure, sounds good.”

…

They had spent the rest of class making jot notes about the important parts of the story and what parts to work with for their own.

Nico had made a list of things to doodle for an idea of what things might look like before he even settled on what to make for the rough sketches. Will was blown away by just how much work went into the planning process but he loved watching how absorbed in his work Nico got when he was focusing.

After class Will asked Nico to join him for lunch so that they could go over what they had so far and try to come up with an outline for the story itself. Once they got to the cafeteria though they got a lot of looks that seemed to make Nico a little more distant than before so Will decided it would be best to go somewhere more private to eat and discuss their plans.

When they reached a more secluded spot Nico visibly relaxed and Will felt like he could breathe a little easier too.

…

Finally school let out for the day and Will headed to the parking lot to wait by his car for Nico, he’d already sent him a text letting him know where to meet him.

Nico: Be right there, just talking with my sister.

Will: Would she like a ride too?

Nico: No she’s going out with her boyfriend so she won’t be home until later. Thanks for the offer though.

Will: No problem.

Though Nico had spoken about Hazel from time to time Will hadn’t really gotten the chance to meet her more than a few times in passing. She seemed like a really sweet girl though and Nico seemed really fond of her. According to Nico Hazel was one of the reasons he likes to draw so much so Will would have to thank her one day.

Will threw in a random CD to listen to while he waited for Nico. About halfway through the second song there was a tap on the passenger side winder and Will jumped slightly but realized that it was Nico and reached over to open the door for him, not like it was locked or anything, he just wanted to be a gentleman.

“Hey.” Nico said as he settled into the seat and put his belt on.

“Hey. So where would you like to stop for takeout?” Will asked as he put the car into drive and pulled out of the student parking lot.

Nico shrugged. “Don’t really know, I’m not really picky.”

Well that was good at least. “So anything would be fine?” Will asked as they merged into after school traffic.

“Sure, whatever you feel like will be fine.” Nico said, though it seemed like he was disinterested he didn’t give off the feeling of being rude, more like open to suggestion so Will took the opportunity to find something good for them to pick up on the way to Nico’s.

“There’s this sandwich shop not too far from here that has a great selection and you can get a meal with a soup or salad and a drink for about $10 so I like to go there. Actually the coach took us there to celebrate a win one time and I’ve basically been a regular ever since.” Will said with a smile on his face as he thought about one of his favorite places to grab something to eat when he was in a hurry.

“Sounds good.” Nico said and Will almost swore there was a bit of a smile playing at the edge of his lips.

“Great!” Will was pretty happy he could share this with Nico.

It only took about three minutes to drive to the sandwich shop even with all of the traffic which was still great time so Will pulled into the small parking lot and parked close to the building’s main entrance then he and Nico got out and headed inside.

Will knew what he would get right away; he was in love with the cheddar bagel turkey BLT with a side of the soup of the day and a strawberry smoothie so he hung back a bit while he waited for Nico to check out the menu board.

He watched as Nico scanned the wide selections of breads and sandwiches and the build your own option.

Really this place was in the perfect location for the hordes of teenagers that came in for lunch or after school meals, from what Will could tell this place was never empty. Maybe he could bring Nico back here again sometime, maybe they could even turn it into a regular outing! Not like a date or anything, just two friends getting lunch, maybe something to eat before going to a movie or something. Wait would Nico want to go to a movie with him? Maybe he could ask after they finish their English project?

“Will?” Nico tapped him on his shoulder nearly causing him to jump out of his skin.

“Huh?” yeah real smooth there will, way to go off to La La Land while you’re supposed to be getting dinner at a place you recommended. He chastised himself.

“I figured out what I’m going to get, what about you?” Nico asked as he watched him, probably checking to see if he was going to space out on him again.

“Yeah, I come here often enough that I’ve got a favorite so I’ll just stick with that I think.” Will said with and easy going smile and approached the till before he did anything else to look like a complete space cadet around his crush. He placed his order and waited for Nico to do the same, part of him wanted to pay for both of their meals together but he didn’t know if Nico was alright with someone else treating him so he’d hold back for now.

After they got their food to go they got back into the car and Will let Nico pick a CD to listen to during the drive to his place. Passenger is the DJ after all.

[masonwithkookiez]

The Perfect Smile- Part 4

"Hey, do you think you're ready to order?"

Just as I had with the hundreds of people before, I smile and wait for his response. He nods and then looks down to quickly find what he had wanted.

It felt like hours until he looked up at me, though I knew it had only been five seconds. His thumb was pointing at an item on the menu slyly, a common thing people would do when they would order. It keeps them focused on what they wanted, and if they forgot then their finger would be right there to guide them away from their mistakes.

"Yeah, the uh.. the chicken salad sounds good." His voice wasn’t too confident, wavering slightly before he awkwardly smiles at me. The boy’s nose scrunches up and his teeth show slightly giving off the impression of innocence. Like a young kitten.

"Perfect. Anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good with just that."

"Great, we'll get that out to you real quick," I say and take the two menus from off the table, tucking them under my arm so I can jot down what the boy had ordered.

Before I walk off, I ask if he needed anything to drink.

He only smiles at me and then shakes his head.

And then I walk off like it was nothing. Like I hadn’t just seen Taehyung sitting with him, or talking to him really comfortably. I know Tae, he doesn’t do that unless he knows someone really well. 

Was this how I met my best friend’s boyfriend? Is this how I would remember it? Sitting here with a half broken heart because my foolish brain had assumed he was single just because he looked good. I shake my head as I walk off, tearing out the piece of paper from my notebook that had one thing written on it.

Chicken salad.

---

I basically kick open the door to my dirty apartment. Clothes were scattered on the floor here and there, random papers from school are bunched up from when he was studying, there were even cartons of milk besides the trash from when he obviously tried to make it in, but didn’t because he’s an annoying kid.

Off in the distance, maybe across the hall, I hear the faint throb of music flooding through the vents and walls. It was nice and smooth from what I could hear and it made me want to move around in the small space I had. 

I could hear the strum of an electric guitar nice and soft, just barely making it to my ears before it could disperse into the air. Before I knew it, I was kicking things out of my way as I swayed around in my living room. 

And then it stopped.

I count the seconds as they pass, hoping that the music would come back, but it never did. With a frown on my face I sit down in the middle of the floor.

Then the door across the hall from me opens slowly as to not make any noise, and it shuts just as slowly. I could hear it so clearly, every little squeak the old hinges made until it completely stops.

I jump up, almost falling straight onto my face because of that damn kid that left everything in my house. I had to make it to the door in time to see who it was.

I peak out the the little peephole that was just a tad bit too high for me see through without standing up straight on my toes. There was no one. 

Fuck.

I was too slow.

Why was I in such a hurry anyways? It was just music. Music that could easily be played through my headphones into my ears as I danced just as I had only seconds before. 

No, it wasn’t the same. That music was something different. I had listened to it be created, raw thought flooding straight into my ears even though it wasn’t meant to be heard by me. By anyone but it’s creator. 

----

Sorry this one is so short, but this is actually one of my favorite updates that I have written out. Only 661 words, but I think that makes it so much better.

I’ll be back to a normal updating schedule by Saturday! I hope none of you mind the delay!

~Song I listened to~

The Glitch Mob - Take Me With You

Jon Pardi - Dirt On My Boots

Masterlist

Part 4/12

[toomanysurveys9]

Out of all 24 hours, which one is your favourite? i don’t think i have a favorite hour. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? i have not. What are the names of the neighbours to your right? i’m not sure, to be honest. Left? i don’t know. i think one is mike? When’s the last time you actually sat down and watched the sun set? it’s been a very long time since i did that. i can’t even remember when.

Are you on a laptop or desktop? laptop. i’m not even sure people used desktops anymore (just kidding obviously). Do you ever make your own surveys? i do not. i just answer other people’s. What colour is your shower? the curtains are white and teal. the shower/tube itself is a weird yellow/white color. Where do you order your pizza from? pizza hut or papa john’s. When is the past time you had a serious talk with someone? jade this past weekend. What time are you planning on going to bed tonight? as early as wyatt (and everyone else) lets me even though it’s christmas. i am exhausted. lol. How old are you, your parents and your siblings combined? i don’t feel like doing the math at the moment. The last time you went out of town was? it’s been awhile. we’ll be going to jacob’s grandpa’s in a few weeks though. And where did you go? i don’t even remember. Have you ever been bit by an animal? nothing serious, but yes. Where is the person you miss the most right now? i’m not missing anyone right this second. Have you been paying attention to the Olympics much? i never do. it’s kind of boring to me. How often do you take naps? almost every day if the kids do. i don’t really sleep at night anymore.. I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but when do you go back to school? i’m done with school for the time being, but i think i want to get my masters sometime in the not TOO distant future. Did it rain today? nope. at least, not that i know of. What was the name of the last dog you pet? blaez. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? yeah. i find one thing i really like and i get that every time after that. Are you constantly judging people? i don’t think so. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? yeah. books. money. Think back to your freshman year in high school, what was the first class period on your first day of school? i don’t remember. i couldn’t even give you a guess. What colour is your bike? i don’t have one anymore. What word can you not stand to hear people say? cunt.. When was the last time the power went out at your house and how long was it out for? i don’t remember. What room of your house are you in? living room. When there’s a full moon, does it make your room really bright for a few days? don’t think so, no. What is the temperature in your city right now? wyatt has my phone, and google on my laptop is taking forever so you’re out of luck. Which would you rather, a snowy day, sunny day, rainy day or cloudy day?: rainy or cloudy. sun hurts my eyes. How long have you ever spent away from home? since moving into our new home, never more than a day or two (we stay at jon and jade’s house sometime). Ever had to get any stitches? yeah. a few times. When did you last use a post-it-note? it has been at least six months though. we don’t keep post-its around here but jake’s mom had some she left at the trailer when she moved out i would jot things down on occasionally. Would you ever want to own your own restaurant? i mean. i don’t know that i would want to do all of the cooking but maybe. Do you have a fan in your bedroom? yeah. a ceiling fan and one we put on the floor.. Have you ever seen the White House? not in person. How about Niagara Falls? not in person. What about the four corners, have you ever been there? i have not. Have you ever played any variation of the padiddle game in a car a night? If not, you should wikipedia it and play it. It can be fun with the right people? i haven’t played it. i don’t know what it is. and google is going very slow so i’m not looking it up right now. The most recent staircase you went down, what did it lead to? the upstairs of our house, where our room is. Have you ever thought about what life would be like if we all slept during the day and were active at night? i haven’t thought about it, no.. What colours are the counter tops in your kitchen? greenish-blue with some white swirly stuff. Has your luggage ever been lost at the airport? Did you get it back? i’ve only been to an airport twice, and i did not lose my luggage. Which major body of water do you live by? none. lol. Who is the last person that you took a picture with? eliana. What type of food do you eat the most? i don’t know, to be honest. probably burgers.ha. When is the last time you were stuck in a fairly long traffic jam? it’s been a long time because we don’t really have long traffic jams where i live. Do you have certain friends that you hug every time you see them? not when i see them, but when i leave, yes. What do you enjoy most about your life? my kids. for sure. they make me happier than i have ever been in my life. When was your most recent trip to an aquarium? earlier in the year. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? lettuce, spinach, shredded carrot, tomatoes, shredded cheese, croutons, hard-boiled eggs, and ranch. Last time you changed the light bulb to the lamp that you use in your bedroom? we haven’t had to change our light in there yet. it’s a ceiling light, not really a lamp though. Does sleeping past 12 or 1 in the afternoon make you feel like you’ve wasted a lot of your day or do you enjoy the extra hours of sleep? i don’t ever sleep in like that. not anymore anyways. lol. kids get up way before then. What is your state most famous for? i don’t really know. What was the last thing you signed your name in cursive on? a receipt. How many times in your life have you seen a shooting star? i’ve probably never actually seen a real one. Have you ever witnessed a tornado? in the distance. How many times a year do you go out of state? we try to go once a year. Has your best friend ever moved away? yeah. but it worked out for the best in the end because she met the love of her life and has three kids now. If it has one, do you ever use the notepad function in your phone? sometimes. What website do you visit the most often? on my computer, tumblr. How good would you say your memory is? it’s alright i think. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? every couple hours to feed ellie, give or take. Are there any air fresheners in your house? What kinds? yeah. i don’t remember the scent but i don’t really like it. What scent of candle do you burn the most? i don’t burn any so far. i have a few in my room, but i’m not in there enough. the only times i am in there is when i’m going to sleep with the kiddos. For what reason did you last cry? phe, cocoa, and buffy just got in a fight. and it was horrible. and buffy ended up hurt again, although luckily we don’t have to go to the emergency vet this time. we can handle the wound at home. but wy was SO CLOSE to the fight, not that he seemed to care (he was on the floor facing away from the fight eating blueberries), but he could have gotten seriously hurt way too easily. and i have no idea what the right thing to do here is. my brother said he will take cocoa by a month’s time, so hopefully that will solve things. i just. i don’t know. my heart hurts because i love my dogs SO MUCH. but my kids are my world and they come first. they will always come first. they even come before me.. What’s one thing you’re glad you’ve done recently? i don’t know, to be honest. How long have you been taking surveys? for quite a long time. since i first discovered surveys when i was younger and myspace was a big thing. What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? i like ones with good questions and require more than a yes or no answer.

[a-mountain-ash]

Make My Way Back

Chapter 7: Where He Knelt

No warnings this time around. Just enjoy :) Chapter 6 here!

When they return to Lebanon, Dean feels a reinvigorated sense of motivation to engage in his life. He doesn't know what that means yet, but he knows he can only delay doing something for so long. He starts in the kitchen. He'd mostly been cooking them simple things with the assistance of Cas and Sam. Burgers he often overdid, mac and cheese, spaghetti, casseroles. Sam would generally make some form of side salad and Cas always contributed breakfast to the cause, despite the fact he didn't eat.

With his new plan in mind, Dean holes up in the cave and spends hours looking up recipes he wants to try. Cas helps him grocery shop and then Dean sets to his first recipe, chicken parmesan with a side of roasted asparagus and mushrooms. Sam eats two helpings. The next day he makes handmade pierogis. Even Cas tries them this time.

As he cooks, memories start washing in. Not full-fledged flashbacks like he usually gets, but rather hazy ideas, flavors, and smells. Sometimes he gets a memory of the entire cooking process, but more often than not it's just a lingering taste that leaves his mouth watering. He finds a blank journal in the archives and starts jotting down his guesses of what they are. Chicken pot pie, poutine, gumbo, bread pudding. Foods from all around America. He works his way through iteration after iteration of the flashbacks in the kitchen until what hits his tongue matches his memories. With diligent precision and love he documents every attempt in the journal, circling the final successful attempt. Where he does manage to remember, or Cas or Sam happen to know, he credits the recipe to the original maker. Those ones he goes to extra pains to modify the final recipes and make them his own.

He seems to know without thinking what the flavors and smells of his memories are. He knows ginger is the source of the potent tang and that cumin dominates the air once it hits a sizzling pan. His hands deftly handle whatever knife his recipe demands and he wonders if that’s leftover more from his old hobby or hunting. Early-February hits and Sam tells him he needs to slow down a little or they're never going to be able to finish it all. Dean starts to think a little harder about things.

Cas sits in the kitchen playing phone games with Patience and offering occasional words of encouragement when Dean gets frustrated. Sometimes, when he gets stuck he makes Cas try something and tell him if the molecules have the same ratios they used to. The angel teases him about feeling used, but he eats whatever spoonful he's fed and offers his knowledge with a grin on his face. Dean asks if he ever misses being able to actually taste food. Cas says 'not really,' but Dean watches him fall into a melancholy, far-away trance and he reminds himself to be patient because Cas will say something about it when he's ready.

~~~~

For Valentine's Day, Dean kicks Sam out of the bunker and he makes bacon cheeseburgers with a new recipe he's been perfecting. Cas tells him they're the best he's ever made. After dinner, they start watching a movie in the cave, but abandon it quickly when Cas straddles him in his chair. They make out like high schoolers and Dean thinks he might implode just from this until Cas unzips his pants.

"Cas, are you sure?" He tries to keep the eagerness out of his voice, to keep his tone patient and thoughtful.

Cas pauses a moment and purses his lips as he stares earnestly down at Dean's crotch. It's surprisingly adorable and Dean suppresses his laughter. "Just…second base?"

Dean does giggle at that. Cas, the powerful angel of the lord, anxious about a hand job. He's grateful they both are and he leans up and kisses the angel firmly on the lips in agreement.

They had nothing to be nervous about.

~~~~

When March opens, Sam announces he's going to help Jody and Claire track dark Kaia down and find out who she really is. He doesn't know how long he'll be gone, but he'll call every two days. If three days pass without word, something is wrong. It's the traditional way.

Dean feels adrift the day he leaves. He doesn't really need help anymore, and he hasn't in several weeks, but Sam leaving means he's really better. It means Sam is moving on. If Sam moves on, what is Dean left doing? The question haunts him all day and distracts him from his usual business. He overcooks his attempt at lunch, he sits in the tub until he's cold and shivering before realizing he should get out, and he flips through the entirety of Netflix before abandoning it entirely to read in the library. He's not significantly more successful with that.

The crux of the matter is that Dean knows he’s not ready to go back to hunting. If he keeps sitting around without a plan while he continues to gain back his strength, no one will question that he’s simply waiting to be ready to get his feet wet again. It’s easy to play it off as what he’s doing. The problem is, that isn’t what he’s doing at all.

“You’ve been quiet today.” Cas says as they sit at the kitchen table eating dinner. Dean had managed to cook it properly, this time.

Dean isn't sure who he's more nervous talking about this to, Cas or Sam. He wishes he could've had a chance to talk to Donna or Jody about it first, just to work through it all before the important conversations. But here they are and Cas has brought it up and he's not going to lie to him. He could. He could say he's fine and that he just misses Sam. It wouldn't be that different than Cas saying he doesn't miss food when his face had told a different story, but Dean is willing to wait for the truth on that matter. He has a feeling Cas's lie is more complicated.

"Sam's hunting." He starts.

Cas waits expectantly for a moment or two until he doesn't continue. "He is hunting, yes. I imagine you will be as well, soon."

Dean looks up at the angel, feeling how wide and scared his eyes are as he stares at him. His heart is pounding a mile and minute and his hands have begun to shake so he clasps them in his lap. He clears his throat.

"What if-" It's too hard to say while he's staring at Cas, so he looks down at his half eaten food. "What if I don't want to?"

"Oh." Is all Cas says for a moment or two. Dean looks up to find the angel regarding him thoughtfully. He doesn't seem upset or disappointed, just pensive. That’s good at least. "Is it because you don't remember how?"

Dean shakes his head, stomach sinking slowly. He hopes this doesn't end up the same as his conversation long ago when he'd tried telling Cas he wasn't going to get all the way better. "I remember, mostly. I've practiced shooting in the range and my aim is still mostly there. I've read my dad's journal front to back. I've even found a case or two just on accident. I could get back into it without too much trouble."

"But…you don't want to." It's not a question, but Cas still sounds hesitant, like he's unsure how he's supposed to respond. Dean looks back up from his lap and when he sees Cas, he thinks their expressions must mirror each other closely. Fragile, uncertain, lost. What do you get when you put a broken angel with a broken hunter?

"When I talked to Billie, in the veil, she told me if I could make it through this, I could get away from it. That my duty was done and I could just…live." His throat clogs up as he speaks and he feels a dull pressure closing down over his chest as the relief and trepidation of finally talking about this pours into him. Cas sneaks his hand under the corner of the table and wraps it over Dean's, where they're still clasped in his lap. "I didn't think I really knew what I did or didn't want yet, but this morning when Sammy left and didn't ask me to go with him, I was just relieved."

"You're worried we won't accept you as anything other than a hunter." Cas's voice is full of recognition and, to Dean's surprise, a little bit of eagerness.

Dean tilts his chin in an almost imperceptible nod. He feels a little embarrassed when Cas puts it so simply.

"Dean, Sam didn't ask you to go hunting because he didn't want to pressure you into it. Not because he thinks you're not ready to help."

"What?" Dean asks, his voice abruptly loud in surprise. "You've talked about this?"

"Of course. Sam's been wanting to get back to hunting for a while now and it's hard not to notice that your interests have been lying elsewhere." Cas looks meaningfully at the stove. "Sam doesn't mind. He knows your heart's not really in it anymore. It wasn't even before Michael."

"What about you?" His voice is quiet and he clenches and unclenches his hands nervously. Cas turns fully towards him and places his other around Dean's as well, stilling their motion in his tight hold.

"Dean, just as you would love me if I were no longer an angel, I will love you if you are no longer a hunter."

A small gasp slips through his lips at the angel's words and he lifts his head abruptly to stare.

"Cas! You said-"

The angel smiles serenely at him. "I know. And I meant it."

Dean's lips split into a wide grin and he feels his eyes prickle with the disbelief of it all. "Can you say it again?" He whispers.

Cas leans in and cups his cheek in his palm. "I love you." His voice is strong and confident and his eyes stay locked on Dean's, no hint of uncertainty or hesitation to be found.

"I love you, too." Dean whispers, his lungs constricting with the overwhelming joy of finally saying the words he's wanted to say for so long. He repeats it, just to hear his voice say them again. “I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry it took-“

“No apologies.” Dean interrupts with a shake of his head. “We can’t change what happened, but we made it here anyway.”

Cas's frown smooths and he leans in, pressing a slow kiss to Dean's lips. Dean likes these kisses best. The ones with no need, no haste, just the simple, slow pleasure of touching with nothing to accomplish. They rewire the meaning of intimacy in his mind, transforming it from a means to an end to a being all its own. Pleasure for pleasure's sake, not intended to erase the heartbreak of the day or hurdle toward release in a dark motel room.

They curl up in bed that night and watch a movie.

Keep Reading

Chapter 8 (the final) coming on Thursday, 10/11 per my schedule and in celebration of the season premier!

[woodworkinghere1]

Being pregnant Q&A

Celebrity News Today -

Good morning, buddies! A couple of days in the past, I had you guys ship in your being pregnant questions through Instastories. I rounded up among the hottest ones under, but when there’s any matter you’d like me to jot down a whole publish on, let me know within the remark part. I additionally needed to start out out this publish by saying I do know that the subject of being pregnant and conceiving is usually a very delicate matter for lots of people. I’m sharing our story with you right this moment. Although it took us some time to get pregnant, I do know there are such a lot of of you who’ve struggled for longer, gone by means of fertility remedies, and many others. Everybody’s journey and battle appears totally different. I’ll solely perceive a fraction of what you’re going by means of, however I do know what a lonely and onerous journey it’s – my coronary heart goes out to all of you.

Now, let’s start.

Q: When is your due date?

January 13, 2021. I’m 15 weeks right this moment and the child is the scale of a navel orange!

Q: Inform us the story of the way you discovered you have been pregnant.

It’s just a little bit anti-climactic haha! I’m a serial being pregnant take a look at taker – I ordered this field of 100 assessments from Amazon and so they’re actually low cost so I principally examined on a regular basis in the course of the TWW (two week wait). On the cycle we obtained pregnant, I took a being pregnant take a look at actually early on (the morning of 6 DPO – days previous ovulation) and noticed a really, very, very faint line on the take a look at. I had been taking being pregnant assessments for a yr and a half and had NEVER seen that earlier than. I obtained so excited, I ran to Chris’s workplace and confirmed him the take a look at and was screaming, “DO YOU SEE IT?! DO YOU SEE IT?!” Sadly, Chris did NOT see the road!! He was satisfied that I needed it to be optimistic so badly, my thoughts was making a second line. However he couldn’t deny it when it obtained a teeny bit darker the following day, after which the following, till there was DEFINITELY a second line! After which he was extremely comfortable and we have been in a position to rejoice. Nevertheless it drove me loopy that he didn’t consider me at first.

This was a being pregnant take a look at I took that night time – are you able to see the second line?! I undoubtedly can, however you may need to squint just a little to see it

Chris and I ran out and acquired a bundle of First Response Early Consequence Being pregnant assessments that night time as a result of they’re recognized to be the perfect!

Q: What’s the first symptom you seen?

The primary symptom I seen was mild cramping (I believe it was implantation cramps) on 5 DPO. I used to be additionally FREEZING COLD on 6 and seven DPO. I couldn’t get heat! By days 7 and eight DPO, I began having all the typical signs: my boobs harm, my sense of odor was heightened, I used to be SUPER emotional (and nonetheless am

).

Q: How lengthy had you been making an attempt earlier than you bought pregnant and did you conceive naturally?

Chris and I attempted for a yr and a half earlier than we lastly obtained a optimistic being pregnant take a look at. We did conceive naturally. To be trustworthy, it was a really powerful, lonely, and irritating journey. It is a very lengthy story, however I’ll attempt to condense it right here: We obtained some take a look at outcomes again a yr into our TTC (making an attempt to conceive) journey and our physician advised us that we may most likely solely get pregnant by means of IVF. He needed us to get examined once more 4 months later earlier than sending us to a fertility clinic. For the following 4 months, Chris and I fully modified our life – we began taking dietary supplements, ate largely natural and cooked from dwelling, lower out alcohol and soda, changed all of our physique merchandise with pthalate- and paraben-free options, ditched our Teflon pots and pans, and changed all the plastic in our kitchen with glass options. Plus much more! We obtained re-tested on the finish of the 4 months and obtained superb outcomes – and some weeks later we discovered we have been pregnant. It’d seem to be a loopy story (it nonetheless blows my thoughts just a little!) and I do know not everybody’s story would be the identical as ours, however we really feel extremely grateful. I’d be comfortable to jot down an entire weblog publish on all the pieces we did that ended up working, for those who guys need!

Q: How did you retain your spirits up in the course of the “trying-and-nothing-is occurring” interval?

I’ve at all times been an optimist by nature (I believe it’s simply how God made me) – I’ll at all times select to take a look at a glass of water and see that it’s half full. However I’ll say that once we obtained the take a look at outcomes again the primary time, I used to be devastated. I cried for 2 weeks straight, questioning God’s plan for us all the time. If we did find yourself taking place the trail of IVF, I noticed it may very well be a really very long time earlier than I held my child in my arms. I do know IVF can be a really bodily and emotionally draining course of. If it got here to that, then I’d have been prepared, however I couldn’t maintain again the tears and inquiries to God. I’ll always remember that I stuffed my neighbor in on this data and he or she cried with me, she hugged me and he or she stated, “Caitlin, God has deliberate so that you can be a mom. It won’t be the way in which you supposed, however you’ll be a mom. And don’t you doubt that. He will probably be devoted.” This was precisely what I wanted to listen to in that second. And I noticed that she was proper. I knew God could be devoted, I simply wanted to proceed to have hope. I held on to God’s promise that I would turn into a mom, even when it wasn’t the way in which I had initially deliberate. I felt a lot peace after realizing this, and I actually needed to let go of all of the plans that I had made for myself and for our household. This was as much as God, not me. I believe realizing that I wasn’t in management and easily letting go of it actually helped me. And every time I felt down, I prayed and wrote in my journal… realizing that sometime I’d look again on that journal entry with a child in my arms.

Q: Had been you monitoring your cycle? In that case, how and did you employ an app?

Throughout my TTC journey, I found the ebook Taking Cost of Your Fertility. I will probably be endlessly grateful for this ebook as a result of I realized a lot about my physique and cycle, and I actually felt so empowered as a girl after studying it. Early on, I began monitoring my cycle in line with FAM – the Fertility Consciousness Technique. This technique includes recording your cervical mucus and monitoring your basal physique temperature (BBT) each morning. I ordered a basal thermometer off of Amazon and used an app referred to as Kindara to trace all the pieces. I wakened each morning at 6 a.m. to take my temperature, recorded my cervical mucus, and peed on ovulation strips. The FAM technique is admittedly cool as a result of it’s so correct – I may decide the precise day I used to be ovulating each month! In the end, this helped us to conceive as a result of we have been in a position to time all the pieces completely.

This may seem to be gibberish to lots of you – however the above chart is my chart from the month we conceived! The blue traces present my temperature, and I ovulated on Cycle Day 20 as a result of my temperature elevated and stayed excessive afterward.

Q: Have you ever had any morning illness? How did you cope? Have you ever had meals cravings or aversions?

The nausea began in my sixth week of being pregnant. Fortunately, it by no means obtained so unhealthy to the purpose the place I threw up, however there have been loads of instances I actually felt like I may have. For the remainder of the primary trimester, I felt tremendous fatigued and NOTHING sounded good to eat! I additionally had lots of meals aversions. The considered eggs, crimson meat and fish all made me nauseous. My cravings have primarily been for carbs and sugar (which stinks as a result of I’m making an attempt so onerous to eat wholesome!). I need pizza, potato chips, OLIVE GARDEN BREADSTICKS, and chocolate chip cookies. On days I felt actually unhealthy, I ate no matter I may that made me really feel higher, and tried to not really feel responsible about it (even when it was unhealthy). On days the place I felt higher, I craved contemporary fruit and greens and ate a lot of salads and smoothies.

Q: What labored finest in your morning illness?

Sea bands and ginger chews sadly did not work for me, however right here are some things that did:

Consuming a number of small meals and snacking all through the day, moderately than consuming three bigger meals. I saved a breakfast bar or saltines proper by my mattress to eat very first thing within the morning.

Pedialyte freezer pops!! These style actually good, are good and cooling, and in addition include electrolytes to assist forestall dehydration.

I added these being pregnant flakes to my bathtub just a few instances per week and I swear they helped with nausea!

Respiration contemporary air. Getting out of the home not less than as soon as a day for a stroll actually helped me.

Distracting myself! Anytime I may efficiently distract myself, I barely seen the nausea. This may very well be engaged on a venture or simply getting misplaced in a very good TV present – proper now I’m actually into Vampire Diaries on Netflix.

Q: Can you are taking baths throughout being pregnant?

I’d seek the advice of your physician about this, however mine stated it was high-quality. I take a number of baths per week, it’s one of many solely issues that makes me really feel higher after I’m nauseous! My physician stated it was high-quality so long as the bathwater shouldn’t be too sizzling. You don’t need your core temperature to recover from 101 levels. I don’t fill the bathtub up very a lot and fill it up with heat (not sizzling!) water. I additionally don’t soak for hours… a very good 20 minutes is sufficient for me!

Q: What prenatal vitamin are you taking?

I’m presently taking this prenatal vitamin, I get mine from Complete Meals. This one can be an amazing possibility. Ensure your prenatal nutritional vitamins incorporates folate as a substitute of folic acid. Folic acid is the artificial model of folate and is tough for most individuals to soak up! Along with a prenatal, I’ve been supplementing with DHA since I’ve been unable to eat any fish.

Q: How did you cover your bump within the swimsuit photos you posted?

All of of my swimsuit photos have been taken early on the being pregnant after I wasn’t actually exhibiting but! The under picture was taken at six weeks. You’ll DEFINITELY discover my bump if I took the identical image now! My bump “popped” at 14 weeks.

Q: Are you going to seek out out the gender? Will you be doing a gender reveal?

Sure! We selected to do a non-invasive blood take a look at referred to as MaterniT 21, which might be accomplished as early as 12 weeks. It screens for sure chromosomal abnormalities that might have an effect on your child’s well being and improvement – resembling trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) and intercourse chromosome aneuploidies (SCAs, irregular numbers of X or Y chromosomes)… and it may well additionally detect for those who’re having a boy or a woman. We simply obtained our take a look at outcomes again and the child is wholesome, and we all know the gender! We need to do one thing for the gender reveal, however most likely received’t have a celebration as a result of we’re nonetheless practising social distancing.

Q: Are you exercising like regular?

I may barely work out in the course of the first trimester! I believe I labored out as soon as per week, nevertheless, I nonetheless managed to go on a stroll not less than as soon as day-after-day (thanks, Winnie!). When you don’t have any power and really feel nauseated, figuring out is the very last thing you need to do! Since coming into my second trimester, I’ve gotten a few of my power again and I’ve been in a position to work out a number of instances this week at the next depth. (Aspect word: I’ve not began “prenatal” exercises but. I’m nonetheless doing my outdated favourite exercises, simply modifying them for being pregnant and what feels good for my physique.)

Q: What are you consuming now?

Now that I’m out of my first trimester and feeling just a little higher, I’m in a position to make more healthy decisions. I need to do an entire publish on being pregnant vitamin – I actually suppose it’s soooo vital in your child since all the pieces you eat goes on to them! I learn this ebook early on in my being pregnant and it’s SO GOOD. A number of the meals I’ve been incorporating into my weight loss program now are natural pasture-raised eggs, bone broth, a lot of greens, natural hen and wholesome fat like nuts, seeds and avocados. I nonetheless can’t stand the considered consuming salmon, so I’ll preserve taking my DHA complement for now. I’ve additionally been craving fruit, so I’ve been making a lot of smoothies. These smoothie cubes have been a lifesaver, and so they’re formulated particularly for pregnant mommas!

Q: How has being pregnant throughout COVID been?

Very bizarre! While you’re pregnant, your immune system is lowered (in order that your physique doesn’t reject the child), and that makes you extra vulnerable to viral infections, together with COVID. We have now been taking social distancing precautions further severely, whereas nonetheless making an attempt to keep up our sanity. For example, we prepare dinner at dwelling most nights however often will eat at a restaurant if we’re in a position to dine exterior and we all know that they’re practising secure measures. Physician’s appointments are undoubtedly totally different with COVID – Chris shouldn’t be in a position to include me to most appointments, together with the one the place we heard the child’s heartbeat for the primary time! Chris was sitting within the automobile proper exterior the physician’s workplace and I Facetimed him in in order that he was in a position to hear the heartbeat as properly.

Q: How did you cope with nervousness between first trimester appointments?

The primary trimester was full of tension for me… particularly main as much as the primary few physician’s appointments! I had some unhealthy cramping at first and was actually involved for the child’s well being. I prayed A LOT and reminded myself time and again that the child was going to be okay. I’ve additionally been doing this every day devotional each morning, and it helps me to maintain a optimistic outlook and jogs my memory each morning of God’s faithfulness.

Q: What was your first child buy?

Y’all! I’ve not bought ANYTHING for the child but! I used to be ready to seek out out the gender. Now that we all know… I assume I can begin ordering issues! I’m just a little psycho and love to do lots of analysis earlier than ordering something… so it is going to most likely take me some time to create a whole registry. I’m actually specializing in shopping for natural/non-toxic child merchandise after I can.

Q: What cream are you utilizing to moisturize your bump?

I’ve been researching pregnancy-safe lotions and lotions to make use of (this web site is nice for that, by the way in which). Thus far I’ve been utilizing this natural shea butter, it’s good however VERY thick. I additionally positioned an order for this one in hopes that it goes on just a little simpler. That is what I’ve been utilizing for chapped lips.

Q: Likes and dislikes thus far?

Likes: that in all places I’m going now, I do know I’m not alone

I discuss to my child all day lengthy. And secondly, my boobs are HUGE! (Nicely, in comparison with my A cup earlier than lol!) I like them!!! I advised Chris we’ll simply must preserve having infants in order that they keep this measurement for a very long time.

Dislikes: My physique doesn’t really feel/look the identical anymore. It’s a unusual feeling to not have management over your physique, though being pregnant is such a blessing! And clearly I dislike the morning illness and fatigue. I additionally must pee all. the. time.

Q: Wholesome but satisfying snacks or protein bars which are secure to have when pregnant?

I lately found THE BEST protein bars, I’ve re-ordered them twice. They’re Jonesbars – they include only a few elements and are 100% natural. The peanut taste is my favourite however you may need to verify together with your physician earlier than ordering – some docs don’t advocate having peanuts whereas pregnant. (Should you’re questioning, I’ve nonetheless been consuming peanuts and peanut butter.) Another snacks I’ve been having fun with are carrots and hummus, contemporary fruit, natural popcorn and uncooked almonds.

Q: What number of kids do you need to have?

We would like not less than three, however possibly we must always see the way it goes with the primary one.

That’s it for right this moment’s Q&A publish, however let me know if in case you have any extra questions! I’ve just a few posts within the works, together with my “First Trimester Necessities” and a few mocktail recipes. By week two I used to be already sick of consuming plain water! Oh and thanks AGAIN for all of the love and assist for Child Dorsch!

And on one closing word, I need to emphasize this once more: if you’re struggling to conceive, my coronary heart goes out to you. Know that I’m praying for you, and don’t lose hope.

Xoxox

The post Being pregnant Q&A appeared first on Celebrity News Today.

source https://daily247.net/pregnancy-qa/

[dioskourixx]

In The Blood Ch.9

“So...how was you guys’ Spring Break?” I asked. Raven, Sophie, and I had met up for lunch in between classes the first day back. Himchan and Yongguk were kind of AWOL, so it was as good as time as any to talk with just us girls. Sophie was the first one to respond, speaking in between small bites of her pepperoni Hawaiian pizza.

“Mine was great actually. I had so much fun in Tennessee. Oooh! You guys should definitely come with me next time! My uncle wouldn’t mind at all. And the animals are just so darn cute! The horses are so big now since last time I saw them. Oh! And I got to see a couple of the ducklings hatch. It was so cool!” Rae and I laughed softly at our bubbly friend.

“Well then,” Rae started as she picked around her spaghetti. “Sounds like you had a rather busy and adventurous break. I’m glad you had fun. I just mostly shopped around Washington and slept in. You know, catching up on my beauty rest and what not.” She chuckled as I rolled my eyes at her last comment.

“Wait a minute. I thought you and your parents were going to go to New York. What happened?” I asked, remembering how excited she seemed for the shopping trips she was bound to have in the big city. I heard her groan.

“You know that my dad is a history geek right? Always spouting off random facts and whatnot. Well, for some reason, he felt like New York was just a place for people to become mindless zombies of sales, and figured Washington would be more enlightening and beneficial. I, of course was not happy. Mom was kind of neutral.” This time Sophie spoke up.

“Well if it’s history he was seeking, you could've tried to persuade him by mentioning the Harlem Renaissance. Lots of history and art with that argument.” Sophie sipped her drink in a matter of fact manner as Raven groaned into her hands, muttering to herself that it would’ve been genius.

“Ugh! Enough about me,” Rae declared as she stopped wallowing in self pity. “How was your Spring Break Haze?”

“Not much, actually. I mostly just sketched and read.” I could already see the disappointed looks they were giving me.

“Don’t you do that on a regular basis, Haze? Is that all you did?” Sophie was the first to speak. I took another bite of my food before I told them that I also went to see a movie.

“The one you and Yongguk were supposed to go see?” Raven asked. “How’d that go by the way?” I looked down at my plate.

“I didn’t go with him.”

“Oh really?” It was Sophie’s turn. “So, you went by yourself?” I bit my bottom lip.

“I went with Ethan actually.” Immediately there was eyebrow wagging and “ooohs” from both of them. Raven spoke up after having her fun.

“How’d that happen? How did it go??” So, I ended up recounting the whole thing. Starting with meeting him coincidentally at the sandwich shop and him tagging along with me to the sci-fi movie.

“....then he walked me back to my dorm and he kind of...kissed me.” A confused Raven looked back at me.

“So? What’s the big deal? He’s kissed you before hasn’t he? On the first date? Unless this kiss was more on the hot and heavy side. If that’s the case then I need details miss.” I scoffed at her.

“What? Of course not. It wasn’t like that. It was on the forehead.” This time Sophie spoke up.

“Then, what’s so special about this kiss Haze? I’m confused.”

“I’m not sure Sophe. It just felt different. His demeanor was different. Instead of being shy like how he was the whole night, he seemed more...confident. More bold. I’m honestly confused myself. I can’t really pinpoint him just yet.”

“Well aside from all of that, it seems like you two are getting along well.” Sophe said in between small sips of her coke.

“Yeah...it seems so.” I caught a small smile play on Raven’s lips at this revelation as she took another forkful of pasta.

I saw Yongguk the following day in class. As we prepared to start taking notes on the lecture, my phone let out a soft buzz from my back pocket. Fishing it out, I saw that I had received a text message from Ethan.

“Good morning Beautiful :)” I felt the familiar smile I seemed to get lately find its way on my lips. I quickly typed out a “good morning” back, turned my phone on mute, and set it down on my desk. The teacher had just started talking about the midterms we had taken before Spring break. Apparently she wasn’t finished with the grading, but promised to finish soon and have the grades posted by the end of this week. My phone’s screen lit up briefly, before it faded to black once more. Another text message.

“How’d you sleep?” I responded with a simple “fine,” and asked him the same. The teacher began lecturing as I placed my phone back on my desk. Yongguk proceeded to get his pen out, ready to take notes and I followed suit, taking a sip of my morning coffee I bought before class. The teacher’s voice droned on as I tried to pick out the key concepts of the lecture. About ten minutes passed by before my phone lit up again. Ethan.

“I slept fine.” Before I could type out a response, another message popped up on my screen.

“So...I sort of have a problem. Maybe you can help me.” Now this definitely piqued my interest. My fingers started dancing across my keyboard before I had time to stop myself. I mean, I was in class after all.

“What kind of problem?” I placed my phone down on my desk, once more, only this time it was face down. Hopefully, by me not seeing my phone brighten whenever I get a text, I’ll be less inclined to respond immediately. I will say, that I managed to go a good twenty minutes before I couldn’t help but to snatch my phone up and read Ethan’s next message. I managed to jot down a few notes before then though. One glance at Yongguk’s paper though, told me that I missed a good bit of key points. Bright Screen.

“So there’s this really pretty girl that I want to invite for dinner this week, but I’m a little nervous. :/” A small burst of giggles left my lips as I read the message. Is he being serious?

“Well, why are you nervous?” I typed back. I went back to try to take more notes. God knows that I missed a huge portion of the lecture. The screen lights up again.. Only this time, I ignore it. The information seems really important, and I already don’t have sufficient notes as it is. No. I need to focus. That message will be there at the end of class, but for now, I need to take notes.

I’m not exactly sure, how many minutes ticked by, as I struggled not to let my curiosity of what Ethan sent back, win. Concentrate Haze. Stop looking at the damn phone! It was only a minute after chastising myself, that I rolled my eyes in annoyance towards myself and simultaneously picked up my phone to read Ethan’s reply.

“Well, it’s because I want to cook for her, and I don’t want to mess it up. Plus, I’ve never cooked for a girl before. What if she doesn’t like it?” Why was he being so...adorable right now?

“Lol. I’m sure she will be happy with the fact that you’re even trying to cook for her. Girls tend to appreciate the effort given. As for what to cook...what does she like to eat?” I exchanged the phone in my hand for my pencil as I was about to take notes...again. That is, before I saw what time it was. There was only seven minutes left. There was absolutely no point in trying to jot down the remainder of the lecture. I just hope Yongguk pulled through this time around. Bright screen.

“I’m not sure. :/. Let’s say that you were the girl I was planning on cooking for...hypothetically speaking, of course, what would you want to eat?” I didn’t have to ponder for long.

“Pasta and salad. It’s simple, easy, and hard to mess up.” As I sent my last message, everyone around me was packing up their belongings and headed for the exit. I followed suit, placing my notebook with my half assed notes and barely used pencil inside of my backpack. Once Yongguk and I were on the outside, safe from the herd of students, I turned to Yongguk wearing what I imagine looked like a sheepish expression.

“Soooo….Any ch-” Yongguk began shaking his head in amusement and laughed at me.

“I already know what you’re about to ask me and the answer is yes. I do have good notes this time, and yes you can copy them down.” I let out a relieved breath.

“Thanks Yongguk. I was somewhat distracted today.” A wide smile found its way on his lips as he nudged me in the arm.

“Yeah, I noticed. Was it this Ethan guy? You know, I’m not sure if I can approve of him, if he’s already hindering your school work young lady.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him.

“Come on. I’ll treat you to breakfast while I copy your notes.”

“Deal. But I’m buying.” he proclaimed. I shrugged at his offer.

“Fine by me. Let’s go ‘Dad.’” I said with as much sarcasm I could muster up.

A few moments later, I was nibbling on a piece of French toast while copying the final page of  Yongguk’s notes. Yongguk sat across from me, grumbling about the amount of people that asked for his tutoring help. After a while, I guess he figured out that I wasn’t wholeheartedly paying attention to him. It wasn’t until he brought up the movie he had missed, as I finished writing the last bit of notes, that I finally looked up at him.

“I’m sorry I had to miss it,” he said, but I just waved him off. It wasn’t really a big deal after all.

“It’s fine Gukkie. I ended up going with someone else, so we’re good.”

“Oh, so what you mean is that you replaced me with some second rate being. Alright, who was it?” I shook my head at his silliness.

“I went with Ethan, actually.” I looked down at my plate of French toast, as I waited for Yongguk to say something.

“Oh really? Wait, I thought you said he was going to be out of town until the end of the break. How’d that happen?”

“I’m not sure, actually. I was just as surprised as you are. We met as I was getting food before the show. It was pleasant coincidence.”

“Hmmm...Pleasant huh? Sounds like I’m already getting kicked to the curb.” I couldn’t help but laugh as he started to pout.

“Oh shush you big baby. No one is kicking you to the curb as you like to put it. Like I said, it was a coincidence.”

We continued to talk as we moved on from the subject of Ethan. I was in the middle of laughing at some corny joke Yongguk had told, when I noticed him stiffen in his chair. My giggles died off my lips as I regained my composure. I started to ask what was wrong, until I heard a familiar voice behind, saying my name. I turned back to see Ethan standing behind me, looking casual in his plain jeans, but still handsome.

“Ethan. Hi. You remember Yongguk don’t you?”

“Of course. Nice to run into you again.” he said smoothly. Yongguk gave a quick nod.

“Yeah...you too.” Yongguk started packing his belongings and stood up from the table. Before I could ask where he was headed too, Yongguk spoke first.

“Haze, I’ll see you later, okay? I gotta get this tutoring schedule in order and stuff. I’ll text you alright?” But before I could respond, he had already started walking towards the doors that lead to courtyard outside.

“So,” Ethan began. “When’s your next class?” I looked at my phone for the time and realized that time had gone by quickly and that my next class started in half an hour.

“Then can I walk you to class? I’m not busy with anything.” He looked at me expectantly.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

With ease he picked up my bag after I had packed it and carried it while we walked.

“So, how was your break?” I asked after walking for a couple of minutes.

“It was alright,” he stated. “A little weird though. It felt like I was being watched most of the time.”

“Watched?” I asked, clearly puzzled. He laughed at my worried face.

“My dad was in the military and sometimes his PTSD and paranoia consumes him. He was very...watchful during the break. Another reason why I left earlier. But enough about that...How about dinner? At my place? I’ll cook.”

I pretended that our little text conversation hadn’t happened earlier and feigned surprise. I let out a small gasp.

“You cook?” Ethan gave me a sideways smirk before he answered.

“Sweetie, I’m full of surprises. Stick around long enough, and you might get to see them all.” Okay. To say that I was unnerved...again, would be an understatement. I don’t understand how he can go from cute, shy, and  dorky to...well, this. I found myself flustered before I was able to respond.

“Oh really? I might just have to take you up on that offer.” Ethan flashed his white teeth in his signature smile.

“Good. You won’t be disappointed. Now, come on. We gotta get you to class,” he says while slightly picking up the pace.

[soljirk]

                     HONGDAE TALENT SHOW  → crush - “beautiful” < 1:27 - 3:27 >                              inspiration : one , two , &&. three.  appearance : here.                  showcased talents : singing, cooking, multi-tasking &&. variety show skills

hyunsik’s handsome face was on her computer screen as she poked her puffed up cheeks at the camera. even if he wasn’t two anymore, he still heartily giggled at his mother’s attempts to be funny. a sweet kid, she thought to herself, and a forgiving one at that considering as to how much she lacked as a mother to him. “hyunsik-ah, there’s a new talent show in hongdae that umma is thinking of doing. what should umma do?” 

she had honestly been at a lost when the information had come out. everything that she had in mind was so typical and safe. she didn’t really know if she had any unique talents now that she thought about it. had she kept up her taekwondo skills as a kid, she would have done a dance integrating the taekwondo moves, but she had quit when she had gotten her blue belt and that was many years ago to begin with. she had never thought it could become a versatile skill that would come in handy for a talent show.

however, as the conversation continued on, she was starting to lose hope in coming up with anything. that was until hyunsik mentioned something about the cute bento box that she had made for him when he was in the hospital. “hm ....” she mused aloud. would it be weird to try to cook and sing at the same time? she didn’t know if that could be classified as a talent, but in some ways, she could see it as something that could be variety show worthy in the future. scouts could potentially look for things like that, right?

“you know, maybe you’ve got an idea there,” she exclaimed, jotting down notes as she thought about what things she could make. there was a two-minute time limit, which meant that whatever she made would have to be fairly simple. plus, with the limited time, all of the food would most definitely need to be pre-prepared so that it would just be a matter of assembly. anyway, the element of cooking in front of an audience would lead to a higher probability of error, and that was something she couldn’t afford.

over the course of the next ten days, suji had practiced the routine to the point where she honestly didn’t want to do it anymore. when she went to bed, she felt like the song that she had chosen seemed to just continue circling in her mind. in some ways, it was a nightmare, and in others, she was glad it had become such a part of her that she hoped it would show when she was onstage. 

nonetheless, it didn’t make her any less nervous to be waiting to get onstage. she knew that once she was there, she would be fine, but just waiting made her so uncomfortable. there were so many people whirling about that she couldn’t even stay focused. all she could do was just check through her bags of things to make sure that all of the supplies that she’d need for her performance was there.

“bae suji, you’re up,” suji heard a voice exclaim as she quickly nodded, grabbing the bag of pre-prepared food that she had put together and following the staff member. she was handed a headset that would be her mic so that she could use her hands freely for the other half of her gig. she also handed off the track that she had mixed to fit the time limit.

as she got onto the stage, she quickly laid out the boxes of items that she had prepared. “hello! i’m bae suji, and i’m here today to prepare a bento box for you that you can enjoy while you watch korea’s hottest drama, goblin, tonight.” she had ensured that she had washed her hands before coming onstage as wearing gloves might ruin the swiftness in which she could complete the task. she doubted that anyone would actually eat the bento, but she might as well try go be as thorough as possible. 

she looked over at the staff member and nodded her head. as she heard the music go off, she began to sing along just as she had practiced, not letting the cooking distract her from the way her voice projected. while she knew that it might not be as great as if she were just singing, she wanted to be remembered for something else, too. 

as she sang, she began to take the rice that she had packaged, molding it into the shape of the respective parts of cinnamoroll. it was only after she was content with the shape that she began to lay down the colored sheets that she had bought to line the bottom of the box. soon after, she carefully settled the lumps of rice on top, assembling each part that she had finished earlier.

it was funny how she had started to hate her whole performance as she was putting it together, but as she was singing now, she came to realize just how beautiful the song was, which was quite fitting of its title. what the audience might now know was that she had chosen to start the song midway through because she especially liked the colors that came with how the song progressed. it wasn’t flat, in terms of its progression, and it really allowed her voice to shine. 

her fingers very carefully began to lay down each piece of the seaweed that she had cut out beforehand. one wrong move and it could potentially rip, which would really throw suji off, but that had only happened in the first few run-throughs that she had done. by the fifth or sixth time, she knew at just what angle her fingers would have to turn to cause an unfortunate rip. practice was a beautiful thing, and she could really understand how that translated into the training lifestyle too.

she opened up another box and settled a small salad to add some greens into the background of her bento. she backed away for a moment, taking a look to see how it was, the other half of her mind still having to focus on the words of the song. she smiled as she was pleased with the result, carefully taking hold of the seaweed ( settled on cheese ) bow that she had made. she then picked up the small dots of cheese with her chopsticks, making sure they looked natural on the bow.

the most fun of all, however, was the flowers that would be coming up. in an effort to not get kicked out of the competition by bringing in a knife, she had sliced up the ham and egg in a way that she would only need to roll it up to turn it into a flower. her hands delicately rolled the items together, lifting it up to the audience when it had “turned” into a flower.

she settled the flowers into the box, which was one step away from the final one. she felt like she had succeeded as she picked up the final pieces of ham ( two tiny ovals that would represent cinnamoroll’s cheeks ) and laid them down. in her mind, she exhaled a breath of relief as she came to the final notes of the song as well. while she had no idea what the audience or the judges would think of what she had come to do, she had fun, which was the most important thing, right? 

“thank you for your time. i hope you will enjoy this,” she gestured towards the box bowing ninety degrees for a few seconds before standing up straight. she had a good feeling about this, but she had also learned not to get her hopes up. the last time she had thought she had done well, it had all come crumbling around her. 

maybe this time was different. 

maybe it was finally her time.

[arigathanksgozaimuch]

hot and cold.

genre: fluff. character/s: jung jaehyun | reader. overview: the more you hate, the more you love. word count: 2737.

A/N: Inspired by The Princess Bride; credits to www.merriam-webster.com for the definitions!

7:00 AM – HOMEROOM

 [Y/N] was a lot of things. She was an excellent student, as proven time and time again by her grades. She was the best daughter, according to her father, to which she would just groan; she was an only child. She was highly competitive, and her friends like using that to their advantage whenever they had to be in groups. Being in a group with [Y/N] meant winning at all costs.

She was not, however, a morning person. She hated having to wake up early. She hated the cold showers she has to take every morning to wake her up. The only thing that motivated her to get up and go to school ever since she entered high school was her deep-seated hate for none other than Jung Jaehyun.

 7:30 AM – ANCIENT HISTORY

 "Please get one and pass," the teacher announced, raising the stack above her head, and placed the papers on top of Yugyeom's desk, which was in front and smack dab in the middle.

As was protocol, Yugyeom flipped through one, two, three, and four pages before passing the stack to the person on his left. He then took one of the four pages and sent the other three to [Y/N], the person behind him. Even as the rest of the class were agitatedly getting started on the quiz to finish as soon as possible, [Y/N] took her time in passing the rest of the papers to the person behind her, knowing it would be Jaehyun. But then again, she was glad everytime papers are collected, because then she would be able to see how he did in the quiz.

Not wanting to look at Jaehyun, she turned to her right. "Jungkook-ah, give this to the person behind me, will you?"

Relenting, Jungkook rolled his eyes and grabbed the papers before shoving it towards Jaehyun. He had long been victim to the years-old feud between the two, but he knew better than to argue with her. In fact, as the years passed by, the girl seemed to be the only one invested on keeping the argument up.

The cause of everything was not unknown to all. It was as simple as Jaehyun topping the entire batch during third grade, with her only coming in second. Since then, she had done everything she could to never let him beat her at anything. It didn't matter if she was the tenth or the twentieth in her batch. What mattered most was that she was ahead of Jung Jaehyun.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, had no idea how someone who wasn't even his friend – someone he barely knew – could hate him that much. And it wasn't like he intentionally wanted to come first. To him, he was just doing his best like she was. It wasn't his fault his best, during that time, was better than her best. Over time, however, he learned how to live with it. He decided to be the better, more mature person by never fighting back.

Which, in all honesty, annoyed her even more. Now that she thought of it, when he opened his mouth to speak, he only ever said "If you say so". And she had tested it before; [Y/N] had given him all the insults and annoying side-comments that could be easily countered similarly annoying comebacks, but he didn't.

The entire hour passed by quickly, and before they knew it, the teacher was already asking for the papers back. [Y/N] skimmed her answers quickly, making sure she answered all the questions before getting ready to pass it. As soon as Jaehyun handed her the papers from the rest of their column, she gave his a scan, noting that he got the year on one of the essays that asked for the date incorrectly. She placed her own paper on top and passed the stack to Yugyeom, who was too busy cramming his answers to notice the smirk on her face.

Nothing gave her more pleasure than being at least one step ahead of Jung Jaehyun.

 9:00 AM – GYM

 She jogged towards the rest of her classmates after changing into her gym clothes. If there was one thing Jaehyun was better at than she was, it was physical activity. While the boys had basketball, the girls had volleyball. And [Y/N] was utterly convinced there were two kinds of people in her class: those who could play volleyball, and her. She tried her best, to Jaehyun's amusement. He kept a close eye at her slouched figure as she eagerly waited for her turn to serve, even as he was in the middle of a heated game of basketball.

She stayed behind or by the corner as she watched her teammates play. Unlike in other classes, for this one, she didn't volunteer to be at the front line. [Y/N] was more than glad to be a substitute, although today didn't seem to be on her side. One of the girls from her team landed on the wrong foot, and fell to the floor while clutching her ankle. Even if she was worried that something worse than a sprain happened to her teammate, she was more worried that she was asked to substitute.

Relenting reluctantly, [Y/N] stepped behind the line as she dribbled the ball once, twice, thrice. She bit on her bottom lip to not let her fear show. As she lifted the ball high up in the air, getting ready to toss it and serve, her wrist missed the right spot. [Y/N] sent the ball flying out of the court and towards the other side of the gym, where the other class was held. Jaehyun fought back a laugh as the volleyball rolled by his feet.

The volleyball coach blew on her whistle so loudly that she was scared she might deflate her lungs to death. She then stretched her arm towards the court of the opposing team. "[Y/L/N], go fetch the damn ball."

Wanting to bury herself six feet under the gym, the girl strode to where the ball ended up flying to. As if she wasn't angry at herself enough, she grew furious at the sight of Jaehyun smiling smugly as he dribbled the volleyball as if it were a basketball.

"Hand it over, loser. It's your fault I wasn't able to serve properly. If you weren't in sight, I probably would have scored a service ace."

He snorted, having expected she would put the blame on him even if he had absolutely nothing to do with it. Jaehyun passed her the ball, his expression mocking. "If you say so."

 10:30 AM – BIOLOGY

 "The brain!" the bowtied teacher with high-waisted slacks announced as enthusiastically as he could. The metal tray in front of him made an ear-splitting noise as he dropped the fresh, frozen brain over it. He handled it like it was just another slab of meat he bought from the grocery. Some of the students looked away in disgust. "I know you all want to be able to dissect your own, but we're running quite low on brains around here," he said, looking around the laboratory as if waiting for anyone to laugh at his "joke".

Jaehyun clasped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing when he heard someone clear his throat.

"Okay, then." The man adjusted the latex gloves over his fingers. "Let's get started, shall we?" Then he produced a scalpel from the wide array of surgical instruments by his side before proceeding to enumerate each and every part of the brain, together with its corresponding function. And, when he got to the sub-cortex of the brain, he explained, "The saying 'the more you hate, the more you love' has a somehow scientific basis. You guys want to know why? Well–" He poked through a small area of the organ. "Feelings of hate and love occur within the same areas. Two parts of the brain, particularly putamen and insula, both found in the sub-cortex, are involved in the two emotions. The putamen and the insula are both activated by feelings of disgust and contempt as in hate, and feelings of joy and passion as in romantic love."

In the midst of his explanation, [Y/N] nudged Jaehyun by his elbow. "Hey, loser," she muttered. "If I were a zombie and you were the last person on Earth, I still wouldn't eat your brain. I actually want something that would make me full."

The boy only shook his head and plastered a small smile across his lips. "If you say so," Jaehyun replied, continuing to jot down notes.

 12:00 NN – LUNCH

 "So? Are you going to prom this year or not?" Yeri asked [Y/N] as she picked on what was left of her salad. "Please tell us as early as now so we could color coordinate our dresses."

"When did I ever go to social events?" [Y/N] groaned, pushing her plate away. Just thinking about having to put on makeup, fix her hair, and stand and walk on uncomfortable high heels made her lose her appetite. "If attendance were graded, then maybe I would consider going."

All her friends groaned. "Please don't think about one-upping Jaehyun even during prom," Jimin said, slapping her forehead with her palm. "I don't know how we could be friends when you're no fun."

"Excuse you," [Y/N] crossed her arms. "I'm fun to be with."

"Yeah right." Yerin rolled her eyes. "If you're as fun as you say you are, you would go to prom even if Jaehyun is the one to ask you out."

"Oh my god, look at the time." The girl pretended to look at her watch and stand up, taking her tray with her after sliding her arm into the straps of her bag. "I have to go, guys, I'll meet you later in class." [Y/N] hurried away from her group of friends, who were left giggling as she turned her back.

"Thirty bucks says she'll go to prom if he does," Jimin announced, sliding a bill across the table.

The other two girls exchanged sly glances before nodding. "Deal."

 1:30 PM – ENGLISH

 "Boredom, the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest. B-O-R-E-D-O-M. Boredom."

The voice speaking in their headphones blocked out any other noise inside the classroom. It was the recorded voice of the teacher. For their English class, they were trained in both speaking and writing; for today, it was more of the former. A beep followed the recorded voice, and the students are required to repeat afterwards.

Today, they were expanding their vocabulary on words that describe feelings.

"Annoyance, a source of vexation or irritation; a nuisance. A-N-N-O-Y-A-N-C-E. Annoyance."

[Y/N] immediately whipped her head to the back row, where Jaehyun was sitting.

"Happiness, a state of well-being and contentment; joy. H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S. Happiness."

She looked away, however, when his eyes met hers. Even as her gaze returned to the open textbook in front of her, she was sure she saw him smile at her before she broke the eye contact.

"Hatred, ill will or resentment that is usually mutual. H-A-T-R-E-D. Hatred."

Already, he could hear her own voice repeating the same sentence to him. She was wrong about one thing however. The resentment wasn't mutual in this case. After years of being on the receiving end of hate and awful remarks and vexing side comments, Jaehyun knew she would argue that, 'The hate is mutual'. She, on the other hand, knew exactly what he would retort.

'If you say so.'

  3:00 PM – ART APPRECIATION

 "Hey, [Y/N]," Jimin whispered from behind her easel. [Y/N] was so intent on making sure she used only complementary colors for her work that she wasn't able to hear all the noises her friend was making to catch her attention. It was only when the other girl tossed a crumpled piece of paper towards [Y/N]'s head that she finally peeled her eyes off her work.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Your. Favorite. Guy. Is. Staring. At. You." The overexcited girl excitedly squeaked over the classical music playing in the background which, their teacher insisted, encouraged creativity among the students. Since her arms were preoccupied with her palette and brush, Jimin settled on gesturing towards the boy sitting on [Y/N]'s right with slight motions of her head.

Gasping, [Y/N] turned to Jaehyun, only to meet his eyes as he was already blatantly staring. "You're copying my work, aren't you?" she accused with a frown, immediately tilting her easel just enough for her painting to be out of his sight. She did grow more self-conscious, knowing art wasn't her forte. Her sketches were average, at best, though she made up for her lack of technique with the unique mix of colors she comes up with. "I know they say imitation is the best form of flattery, but just because my work is good doesn't mean it flatters me that you're copying it."

Jaehyun bit back a smile. For some reason, he found her false confidence endearing, especially if it was accompanied by the blush in her cheeks. "If you say so."

 4:30 PM – CALCULUS

 It was only when she overheard him chat with his friends that she actually heard his normal speaking voice – the voice that didn't say "If you say so" every single time. What amazed her that day was not the fact that she understood limits and derivatives right after the teacher mentioned the topic, no. What amazed her was when she realized that whenever Jaehyun says those four words, he actually only meant "I love you".

 6:00 PM – DISMISSAL

 "Hey, [Y/N], wait up!" Jaehyun said as soon as the class was dismissed. Jungkook was about to approach him to ask how come the answer for the last example was 2 and not 0, but thought nothing of it when he saw his friend hurriedly go up to his worst enemy.

[Y/N] froze in her seat. She was just about ready to go home, ready to go to sleep, and ready to wake up the next day, motivated by her hate for Jaehyun. "What do you want?" the girl said with a sigh, keeping her back turned as she shoved her books back into her bag. She was supposed to put those back inside her locker, but going to her locker meant staying in school longer, and staying in school longer meant having to listen to Jung Jaehyun, and listening to Jung Jaehyun might actually make her hatred for him decrease.

"I just..." The boy swung his bag behind him and fiddled with the straps. "I just wanted to ask if you're going to prom with anyone?"

She snorted. "Who said I was even going to prom?"

"Oh." Jaehyun looked down at his feet. He could feel his ears getting hotter by the second. "Oh.  Well then, would you mind going to prom with me?"

"Yes."

"Yes, as in...?"

"Oh my god, you were ahead of me in third grade, how could you not understand?"

"Oh my god," Jaehyun said, almost losing balance, but he quickly steadied himself by placing an arm over the desk behind him. "Is that what these past few years were about? How could you not get over that? You were ahead of me since then, even until now. Isn't that enough?"

"Because–" [Y/N] frowned, keeping her eyes glued to her bag. She felt stupid, all of a sudden, but of course she wouldn't let him see. "Just because."

Chuckling to himself, Jaehyun blew on his bangs and slid his hands into his pockets. "You know what? I don't mind. That won't stop me from asking you out for prom."

"How could you even ask me out of all people?" Now, it was her turn to snap. "You've never even spoken more than four words to me."

"Just because," he said nonchalantly, taking note of how her cheeks became tinted with pink. "So, are you going with me or not?"

"Less words."

"You... go out with me...?"

She snorted, picking her bag up and slinging it over her shoulder. "Grammar."

"Go out with me?" Jaehyun said with a sigh.

"Where's your confidence gone?"

"[Y/N]." He said, taking a deep breath as he rolled his shoulders back. "Go out with me."

The girl smiled, turning on her heels to head for the door. "If you say so."