#i thought once we get that scene i would rewatch it over and over again

[kajaono]

Sometimes I remeber that the only adaptation that gave us "Wentworth saves Anne from the kid" was Netflix Persuasion and I stare at the ceiling in agony

[hikarry]

So, I was rewatching season 1 and got stuck in that scene between Shadwell and Aziraphale in the bookshop.

What if Aziraphale never stepped into the circle? What if the fire never really happened?

Imagine:

Shadwell is lost in his shenanigans, ready to banish Aziraphale to whatever place witchfinders banish witches, and Aziraphale is slowly walking backward.

"Oh, but this is utterly ridiculous." He stops on his tracks, looking Shadwell in the eye. "I'm sorry, good man, but I have no time for whatever silliness is happening right now. If you don't mind, I have an Armageddon to stop." Aziraphale snaps his fingers, and Shadwell disappears, reapearing a few streets over at the other side of Soho. There surely he wouldn't get in the way.

Careful not to step on the active circle, Aziraphale leaves the bookshop and flags down the first cab he sees. The driver stops right in front of the bookshop, and he gets in, giving him Crowley's address in Mayfair.

The last time he called, the demon was home, so that's exactly where Aziraphale hoped he remained. With a bit of luck, he hadn't left for Alpha Centauri... Now that he thought about it, he mentioned having an old friend over? As far as he knew, he himself was the only friend Crowley had, so that statmebt now sounded like a load of nonsense. But whatever. He just needed to speak with Crowley, old friend present or not. Heaven clearly wanted the war to happen, and he had been naive to think they would see reason. The only chance the Earth had of surviving now was the angel and Crowley. He could only pray it wasn't too late and Crowley wasn't gone. He knew where the Anti-Christ was, after all. They could stop this!

When the cab stopped on the street of Crowley's building, Aziraphale paid his fare and threw a quick blessing in the driver's direction for his speed and efficiency before crossing the street and entering the complex.

He had been to Crowley's flat once or twice in the last 20 years. All he had to do was go through the entrance, get on the lift to the last floor, and walk down the corridor towards the last door. And that's exactly what he did, always fiddling with his fingers in a show of the nervous energy that seemed to take over him. They were running out of time. The end of the world would occur any minute now, and Crowley needed to be home. They still had to drive all the way to Tadfield's airbase, and the clock was tickling rather ominously inside his head.

Finally in front of the door to Crowley's flat, he knocked. A few seconds passed with no response, and he decided to knock again, stronger now, but he got exactly the same result.

Aziraphale looked around the hallway, taking a deep breath and smoothing his waistcoat, considering his options.

"Crowley?" He ended up knocking again. "Crowley, we need to talk!" Silence. "I know you're cross with me after our last conversation, but you were right. I talked to the Metatron. And they want the war. As I told you on the phone, I know where the antichrist is, and it would be very nice of you if you opened the door so we could get a wiggle on and stop the Apocalypse." Once again, he was met with silence.

Was it possible? Did Crowley actually leave for Alpha Centauri? He was here minutes ago! He couldn't have left already, right?

Oh, bless it all. He wasn't going to waste any more time.

With a final deep breath, Aziraphale snapped his fingers, and the door unlocked. He opened it slightly, peering inside.

"Crowley? I'm sorry If I'm intruding but this matter is rather urgent." All he got in return was silence. Not a single noise from the demon himself or the so called old friend.

He pushed the remainder of the door open and stepped inside, silently closing it behind him. He looked at the living room, but it was empty of any living soul, apart from the plants on the far wall.

"Crowley?"

Aziraphale called again, now walking towards the office to the left. The door was slightly ajar already, so he spied inside. It looked empty, but he walked in regardless, almost stepping on a pile of goo right there in front of the floor.

"What the...?" He looked down, stepping over the weird substance.

It smelled weirdly of sulfur and...was that Holy Water?

His head snapped to the desk, where he found the thermos he had given Crowley back in the 60s, the cap unscrewed by its side.

Suddenly, he felt his heart stop, and his veins turn into ice. His body gave an involuntary step back away from the smudge, his back hitting the throne as he lifted a now trembling hand to cover his mouth.

No. This couldn't be happening. He would-! Crowley certainly wouldnt-!

A sob escaped his throat as his whole body started shaking.

Oh lord. This was a nightmare. It could only be a nightmare. This wasn't real. Couldn't possibly be real.

Oh Crowley...

Aziraphale's legs failed him, and he ended up on the floor, back leaning against the side of the ridiculous throne Crowley liked so much. Not that he would like anything ever again because he was gone. Crowley was gone. And it was Aziraphale's fault. He was the one who gave him the cursed thermos against his better judgment. And now all his fears were laid bare right in front of his eyes.

Another sob escaped him and he let the heartache take charge, spilling warm tears down his cheeks.

Crowley was gone. The Apocalypse was coming and Crowley was gone. Not to Alpha Centauri but actually gone. Utterly destroyed. And all that remained of his best friend was an unidentifiable goo. Not a trace of Crowley remained.

He hugged himself, hanging his head low, letting the tears fall on his crossed arms and allowing the wretched sobs to take over. He couldn't bear to look at it a second longer. The smell of sulfur and Holy Water was starting to get nauseating.

Well, contrary to popular belief, Crowley was actually very much alive, speeding through the streets on London in the direction of the bookshop. He parked in his usual place and snapped his finger to open the doors of the building.

"Aziraphale?" He looked around, quickly spotting the active circle. Lifting an eyebrow above his sunglasses, he carefully walked towards it, still searching for any trace of the angel. "Aziraphale, are you here?"

The circle was still active with holy energy, so no one had actually stepped through it, and Aziraphale was clearly not in the bookshop, so where could he possibly be?

With a sigh, Crowley turned around and went back to the Bentley. He drove around Soho for a bit, trying to spot some blond curls in the crowd but falling short of success.

"Aziraphale, where the bloody hell are you?" He muttered to himself, carefully scanning the streets, until he gave up, changing his course back to Mayfair.

He needed to regroup. Without knowing where Aziraphale was and without the information on the antichrist he apparently had, Crowley needed to think.

He made his way back to his flat without paying much attention. When he noticed, he was already unlocking the door with his key and stepping inside. And, as soon as he did so, he heard it. Sobs coming from the office. That was...bizarre. Could it be Hastur? Had he figured out a way to leave the answering machine, and now he was crying over Ligur? Crowley almost laughed at himself with such a thought. Hastur? Crying? Now, that would be a sight he would pay to see.

Still, in the name of caution, he slowly made his way to the office, trying to be as silent as possible, when he quickly spotted the angel he had been looking for throught the wide open door, sitting on the floor besides the throne, arms around himself and face hidden while his whole body shook and heartbreaking sobs escaped his vocal chords.

Carefully and confused, he approached, stopping short of the door.

"...Angel?"

Aziraphale's head snapped up, staring at him with wide eyes, his face marked by tears.

"...Crowley?"

"Yeah." He slowly walked his way to the angel, careful not to step on Ligur, squatting in front of him. "Are you alright? What happened?"

He was still staring at him with clear confusing in his eyes, opening and closing his mouth repeatedly until he finally appeared to have found his voice again:

"You-! The-!" Aziraphale's body trembled, looking over Crowley's shoulder and then back at the demon. "You...you're gone!"

Crowley raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

"I just went to the bookshop searching for you, but when I arrived you weren't there already." Aziraphale shook his head, some more tears escaping his eyes along with a single sob. "Hey, hey." Crowley placed his hands on his shoulders, squeezing them. "What's-?" And then that's when it suddenly clicked inside his head. He looked up at the empty thermos on his desk and back over his shoulder to what remained of Ligur. "Oh, Aziraphale. No, no, no." His hands moved up to Aziraphale's face, forcing him to look up at him, his thumb brushing away some of the new tears running down his face. It burned considerably; angel tears were holy water after all, but right now, that wasn't his focus. "That's Ligur. I used the holy water to make a trap for him and Hastur when they came to take me." He brushes his thumb through Aziraphale's trembling lips, leaning in closer. "That's not me, angel. I'm alright."

Aziraphale sniffed, trying to regain control of himself, but failing miserably.

"I-I thought you were dead. I thought you had used the Holy Water. I thought-"

"Shhh." Crowley wrapped his arms around the angel, leaning his face against his, pulling him into an embrace. They had never hugged before, so it felt a bit strange. Awkward even. "I'm right here. That's not me." The angel grabbed handfuls of his shirt and pulled him closer, burying his face on the crook of his neck, taking deep breaths. "Yeah, that's it. Breathe." He ran his hand through his curls, trying to soothe him. "Everything is alright. I'm right here."

After a while, Aziraphale finally calmed down and moved away, just enough to be able to look at Crowley's face. For a moment or two, they just stared at each other. Aziraphale's red rimmed blue eyes looking right at Crowley's yellow ones; his sunglasses had ended up on his head at some point. The angel's eyes slipped down to the demon's lips for a second and Crowley's licked them involuntarily, before his gaze went back to his eyes.

"You were right." Crowley tilted his head in confusion. "I talked to the Metraton. They want the war to happen...The Anti-Christ..." Aziraphale mumbled those last words.

"Right." Crowley stared down at Aziraphale for a couple more seconds before getting up, offering his hand to the angel to help him do the same. "You said you knew where he was?"

[zukosdualdao]

i'm literally insane about the last agni kai and the lightning scene(s). i swear i've rewatched it 10+ times since my last rewatch of the show (which was my first watch in years) and like. azula sees katara come into view from behind. zuko doesn't. he follows azula's gaze and sees katara and is immediately horrified. he doesn't even think or hesitate because he doesn't have time and for once he doesn't have to look back at azula to figure out what she's doing because he knows what she's doing and he won't let it happen. time dwindling into slow motion as a haunting score plays? and zuko literally yelling out "no!" because that lightning absolutely cannot hit katara. as soon as he sees it there's no chance of that ever happening. and then katara watching in horror as the lightning flashes against features in what is probably one of the most hauntingly beautiful animated moments of the show? zuko hitting the ground still convulsing with lightning and katara crying out "zuko!" and immediately trying to run to him before azula attacks again? and the next scene we cut back to with them, zuko is groaning weakly and trying to lift himself up, and we see katara literally gasp in surprise as she realizes he's still alive (i'm sobbing because i do quite literally think she thought he was dead) and immediately tries to run to him again, nevermind that she knows azula is still there, and the hand katara uses for healing is already doused in water as she reaches for him. but then azula starts attacking again. and zuko, despite literally being in so much pain that he can't stand and can barely even move at all without whimpering, still tries to reach for the spot where he can see azula attacking katara. katara is forced to hide from azula's attacks. and as azula is mocking "zuzu, you don't look so good" down to zuko, the perspective shot is such that you can SEE that katara is also looking at where he lies prone in the distance, surrounded by flame (probably wondering how much time they have before it really is too late) before looking back up at azula and realizing she needs to defeat her as quickly and handily as possible so katara can get to zuko. obviously katara would have done this anyway (the whole reason they were THERE was to halt the continued cycle of the imperialist regime of the fire nation), but the scene is specifically framed as katara trying to figure out how to stop azula so the obstacle to her getting to zuko is no longer in the way. katara's defeat of azula was epic and deserves its own post. but then after making sure azula is securely chained, she runs to zuko, looks at him with such immense sadness and horror and fear as she hears him in so much pain, tenderly turns him over so she can get a good look at the wound. and she cups his head? briefly but so gently? so that he won't hit it as she turns him over? and when she tries to heal him you can tell she is so genuinely unsure if it will even work, and so relieved that she starts crying tears of joy when she sees it has (at least enough to keep him alive and somewhat lessen his pain.) they thank each other (and you can tell it's still really hard for zuko to talk and his eyes are barely open but he thanks her anyways i'm.) and she thanks him back and!!! when he starts to try to sit up she makes a little surprised face and then immediately helps him to do so (and puts a tender hand to his chest while she does!!!) and obviously that last shot of them standing together is also one of emotional support, but katara's hand on his back is also partly because i still think (and certainly katara still thinks) trying to walk/stand on his own would be a bad idea, so it's definitely not happening.

[kookies2000]

We all know this scene when Puss faces his past lives.

Spoilers

I'll be honest, something was disturbing in this scene when I first saw it. I'm rewatching the scene and trying to put my finger on it. Then it hit me. That Tik Tok comment I saw that said the Lost Souls were acting like the sins from the Bible. The connections people made from this film and toxic masculinity. This scene right here is oozing with toxicity and masculinity.

Before I go any further, I would like to say that I am not down-talking men. I'm analyzing this scene as a Mexican woman.

Anyways, here are some traits in toxic masculinity.

Self-reliance - Men believe they have to do all the work and handle everything by themselves. Independent at all times, they need no one. They believe doing things by themselves will make them successful in life. Being vulnerable will cause the man to be ridiculed. That's Puss throughout the film.

Promiscuous - There's nothing wrong with having sexual relations with others. If it's your thing, it's your thing. But there is such thing as too much of a good thing. Being flirtatious is ok, healthy even, but when it becomes very frequent or an obsession, it can lead to problems in forming long-term romantic relationships. Puss in a nut shell.

Being violent and dominant - Most men believe they have to be strong, physically mostly. So they take risks in life and try to beat others in their own game. Taking risks can be a way to demonstrate dominance. This can include gambling as well. Or dangerous sports. The cause of some of Puss deaths. Not to mention Death pretty much gave Puss a reality check. Puss isn't as strong as he thought he was.

And a big one, refusing to seek help when struggling - self-explanatory. Men try to be emotionless and never seek intimacy with others. Especially with other men as it's seen as a weakness.

All these traits are displayed in this scene. At first, it's fun for Puss because he remembers how much fun he had in his past lives. All the parties, lovers, drinks/food, adventures, risk-taking, everything. But once the adrenaline wears down, Puss knows it's time to leave. But of course, the Lost Souls don't let him. They try their best to convince him to leave Perrito and Kitty and get his lives back. They straight up tell him he doesn't need them and he's better alone. But at this point, Puss already formed a bond with Perrito and is reconnecting with Kitty. He remembers his regrets and this is what makes him determined to go back.

I guess the Souls notice this and start to ridicule Puss for being so vulnerable. Which is something I pointed out already in self-reliance. Men get teased and made fun of if they show even an ounce of vulnerability. Men can't have intimacy with their friends, let alone friends who are men. Men can't be held down by marriage. It sounds over the top but it does happen. I've seen it happen in the past in my household.

Men are also pushed to be physically and emotionally strong. Which is what Puss was trying to do as well. He didn't want to be afraid. He didn't want help and was a lone wolf. He refused to seek help when struggling. Thankfully for him, Perrito was a very determined guy. He followed Puss and helped him become more vulnerable and to open up more. Fixing his relationship with Kitty and becoming fiends.

So yeah, this scene was something alright. Puss was already developing at this point of the film. And then they made him face just how toxic he was being in his past lives. It almost felt like torture for him. But this is an important step in developing into someone better. You have to face your past some time and realize your mistakes so you don't make them again.

Ps, Antonio's voice acting here was incredible. Voicing nine different Puss while making each one unique. From the tone of voice to personality. He deserves some recognition for this scene.

[mrinafria]

Just last night I was sitting there going through my edit drafts, and I looked at this scene, to notice all these things Seon Jae does before/during the live radio call.

Really wasn't going to write about OG Seon Jae after my last post on him. I never knew I had such a masochistic side to me until Lovely Runner because all I've done since this show started is go back to rewatch episode 1-4, over and over and over and over again as if this was a hell loop I created for myself.

There's hope, anticipation, a bit of excitement too. He will hear her voice. Again. He will get to talk to her. For the first time. Yeah. The OG Seon Jae never got to talk to Im Sol. He admired her, crushed on her, liked her, observed her, tried whatever he could as a 19yo to save her, but he never, ever got to talk to her. This is the very. first. time. he's able to have a conversation with her.

But she doesn't pick up. And he has to put a leash on his emotions in those few seconds because this version of Ryu Seon Jae stopped showing his true emotions long back. Ah, this was the only chance I had. I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could hear her voice. I wish I could know how she's been doing. Just once. Just this one time.

He introduces himself using his name. Not along with his band name, which is the usual practice, mind you. And a very little pause before going "Do you know me?"

Sometimes when you long for a person, crave for their voice, their smile, their presence in your life and your world, you desperately want to be present in their world too, no matter how trivial your presence or your existence might be to them. Seon Jae hoped she would remember; even if she didn't consider him her savior (which he never thought he was) he desperately wanted some semblance of familiarity in her voice, even if it was out of nothing but resentment. Maybe even something as painful as How dare you call me.

And she does share her resentments, not towards Seon Jae the 19yo boy who she doesn't remember, but Ryu Seon Jae the idol, along with everyone present there, for putting her through this misery, triggering her worst trauma and twisting the knife in her wound that has already driven her to the brink of ending it all. Everyone is uncomfortable here, except for this one guy. He's back to reliving that incident that forever changed her life, his life and brought them to this moment here. He is reminded of just how big of a failure he is, for failing this one person he never wanted to fail. He is reminded how a moment of indecision/inaction on his part led to the person he loves the most to be this miserable. In this moment above, you look at him and realize it's no longer Ryu Seon Jae; it's the 19yo Seon Jae, the one at the reservoir, the one who kept chanting mianhae to an unconscious Im Sol, the one who waited on that bench while she underwent surgery--clutching on to the watch in anguish as if that was the only thing keeping him from falling apart--the one who stood by her hospital door, listening to her screams while shattering into a million pieces inside. It's the 19yo Seon Jae who would be haunted by her screams and live for the remainder of his brief life in extreme guilt and regret mixed with intense longing, until he meets his untimely demise on that fateful night.

I often wonder if he could sense it from her voice on the call. Just how close she was to the edge, how she was probably going to do something that very day right after the call ended. Was it because he felt her pain as if it were his own? You see him springing to action right when we think it's over, as if he is desperate to help her, any. way. he. can. You see how restless his eyes get all of a sudden? He likely wants to say so many things to her. Sol-ah, I'm glad to hear your voice. Sol-ah, I'm sorry. Sol-ah, I hope you are okay. Sol-ah, I'm grateful you are here. Sol-ah, I'm really sorry I couldn't do better. I'm so sorry I failed to wake you up. I'm sorry I let you miss your stop. I'm sorry I didn't reach you sooner. I'm sorry I couldn't be more careful. You can hate me all you want. I'll live the rest of my life being sorry to you. You don't have to forgive me. I'm fine as long as you're okay, you're fine, you're happy. Sol-ah, I miss your smile. I miss the sound of it. I miss knowing you're happy somewhere, even if I am nowhere in your somewhere. Sol-ah, thank you. Sol-ah, please, please live.

But oh, he can't say any of that to her now. So all he says is "Thank you, for living. The ones by your side will thank you for that". And yes, he means himself.

He wanted to be the umbrella she once was to him, the gift she has been to him all his life, both literally and figuratively. And because Ryu Seon Jae is a person who will receive the affection/love you give with the utmost appreciation, increase it 10x more and return it to you gift-wrapped with sparkly ribbons, he chooses to be her umbrella this way, the only way he can.

He wanted to pull her out of the reservoir, literally and figuratively, so she could live. He didn't mind spending all his life stuck in that reservoir himself.

This was supposed to be a response to @thedeathdeelers rewatch post here and as usual, it ended up being a mess of feels (why do I even try really) I swear atp I feel like we're the same person watching feeling the same things lmao. You, don't ever shut up about this show please :')

p.s. I love writer Lee Si Eun for ultimately wanting to save THIS OG Ryu Seon Jae, and therefore initiating the memory flashback with pieces from this timeline. Although my heart will forever ache for this OG boy, it finds some comfort in that.

[mlmarint]

so here’s my thoughts about the “daddy issues” thing with the whole anti tommy shit

you guys are such fucking hypocrites

i would be totally on board with someone bringing that it’s not okay to sexualize someone’s trauma if that was the case. but guess whaaaaaaat???? THATS NOT THE CASE. and it’s not “terrible dialogue” either, there’s so many scenes with terrible dialogue in this show, but some of you should really stop and ask yourselfs WHY you didn’t like this one.

if eddie was the one to make a comment like that some of you’d be OVER THE MOON. i’ve NEVER seen ANYONE in this fandom talk about how a LOT of the buddie explicit fanfics have a daddy kink on it. and before any more comments, i REALLY HATE buddie fics with daddy kink because it always reminds me of christopher and do NOT want to think about christopher in that moment.

“that’s not the problem. the problem is that once again buck it’s with someone who doesn’t care about his trauma” oh grow the fuck up.

tommy LITERALLY decided to not date buck because he thought buck wasn’t ready for it, he gave buck his space, he at first didn’t want to go to maddie and chimney wedding with buck because he thought buck was acting on impulse and wanted him to take his time to be okay with who he is, and after he was sure he tried his best to be on time to his date.

and also!!!! buck is a little “freak” in bed guys, he was a literal sex addict in season 1. every now and then the show reminds us this (like the ring cutter scene), also this is the second buck’s relationship with someone who’s like older than him. i wouldn’t be surprised if buck has a canon daddy kink because GUESS WHAAAAAT some people who have daddy issues??? THEY HAVE DADDY KINKS!!!!!

but you guys wanna know what i truly think?

i think that some of you (these tommy antis) are only here for buddie. you’re not here for the show, you’re here for buck and eddie. you’re not here for all these amazing characters!!! you’re not here for the fact that buck being a bisexual man discovering that side of him in his 30s its one of the most important things that happened in this show when we’re talking about lgbt+ characters and the importance of having something like that to be on media.

you’re not here for bi buck, you’re only here if this means that eddie will be with him. you’ll won’t be here if they decide to give a eddie queer discover story non related to buck on season 8 (and i truly think we’re going that way).

you only liked buck and tommy when you could sexualize two man kissing.

if you want to talk about something that is not okay that tommy did why don’t you rewatch the older episodes he’s in? he wasn’t a nice person back then and honestly i would like for them to bring that up!!! for them to show how a person can change and grow out of their prejudice and realize that they don’t need to be an ass and be okay with who they truly are. in fact why don’t we talk about how they hinted the fact that tommy didn’t like who he was when he was working with gerard? that he doesn’t like gerard and that he was a toxic person and that tommy grow up with a racist, homophobic and sexist dad???? that’s why he wasn’t a nice person back than but he’s different now and he’s a proud gay man and that once again that’s a nice thing to have on media because it shows how it’s NEVER too late to come in terms with who you are and change the way your are for better????

tommy isn’t perfect (and no one that he hurt before seems to actually care about it cause he did truly changed), but that doesn’t mean you need to cancel the guy FOR ONE SINGLE comment!!!! part of the 911 team made fun of buck for being sexually assaulted by his therapist but no one canceled them for it, did they?

honestly i am so fucking tired with fandoms in general.

at this point i hope we don’t get buddie being canon FOR A LONG TIME cause i want you guys to suffer with tommy and buck being in a happy relationship.

just remember: eddies it’s not canonical queer yet, there’s hints of it and they probably are going on that road with the whole thing they’re saying on interviews, BUT buck IS BISEXUAL and HE IS dating TOMMY you like it or not and it’s by far the most healthy relationship he EVER had in this show, can’t you be happy for him????

you can be a buddie shipper and still enjoy bucktommy because what we should truly want more than anything it’s buck and eddie to be happy with who they are.

and I SAY ALL THIS BEING A BUDDIE SHIPPER FOR YEARS

[starryinkart]

Hey so a bit of a possible crack theory:

So in the show, we’ve gotten three solver colors already, Red, which stands for Doll, Purple which stands for Uzi/Nori, Yellow which stands for the solver/CYN. But here’s something ALOT of people seemed to miss. After you rewatch the Season 1 trailer, you realize:

There’s a blue solver, most likely a blue solver holder. Hidden right before the infamous yellow of the solver we’ve come to know in the show.

If you watch the trailer, you also notice something else. Right before this symbol quickly shows up, we have a dialogue from N, running away from Uzi from the scene at the end of episode 2 and then him sitting in front of V being sad. But if you listen to that dialogue:

He says “We can’t be around the workers anymore V, we’re too dangerous…”

He eventually begins to hang around them again, but to me this line with the imagery is super important. We know from the most recent episode 7/8 teaser that N is the actual leader of the squad, most likely the strongest and most likely protected by CYN with her admin right before she was completely lost by the solver.

Through out the show, we see him confused at his own power at points, like in episode 4 when he shoots the arrow through another and catches them on fire, cracking the arrow board, proceeding to say:

“Did I do that?” All confused.

N obviously doesn’t know how powerful he is at all, but what if and hear me out, it’s not ONLY because he’s a Disassembly Drone?

We know that CYN blocked the solver from having access to him, V and J to most likely protect them from the fate the solver has for drones who are infected. She didn’t want the same thing happening to N, her brother, who she loved and his friends which he cared about and most likely she cared about before she was taken over completely.

But now, Uzi has unblocked them from being protected from the CYNs admin, which was presumably protecting the squad from the affects of possibly getting the solver, (under the assumption CYN was bad in general) by becoming their administrator. If Uzi is their admin, and she gets taken over by the solver in general, that means that her admin code basically becomes useless to protecting N and the others from being infected too. And remember Tessa found them in the dump and repaired them as well, like CYN so they have a high chance of contracting the solver since they were also disposed of incorrectly.

So here comes the point of this picture that was released as a teaser yesterday:

It’s N, looking down, whether at something or just on the verge of having a breakdown and losing it we are uncertain, but from the posture, the balled fists, he does NOT look okay at all.

The first thing yours eyes are drawn to are the building split in half in front of him, the exoplanets in the sky and N. But, on a more closer look, you see two things:

1. The snow flakes on the bottom left have a ominous blue tint to them, which should only happen if blue light is reflecting off of them…

2. If you didn’t notice on the first look, N has the same blue light, coming from right in front of him. Perhaps maybe the same color as this blue solver symbol we have yet to see with some weird lines and curves jutting out from the sides…

At first, I thought Khan would be the blue solver holder at the beginning of the series, being a surprise twist for him to have activated in him he was so afraid of due to him possibly seeing it with his wife Nori. Honestly while that would’ve been cool, episode 5 debunked this possibility, since Khan was flung out of the room by Doll when she was attempting to get the cyber bug from Uzi. Solver owners can’t effect other solver holders as proven from the series, it can only use items around them to throw or hurt them.

We haven’t seen N be affect by the solver once in the present time or in the flashback of episode 5.

Now I do know the merch video came out today, but it was stated in the video that

1. “It was totally not canonical to the series what so ever” which I HIGHLY doubt. Most of the merch and videos we have seen have been canon and it seems as though the characters have been pulled aside between episodes to “film” these fourth wall breaks.

2. The fact that the title of the video “N’s Final Form” and the thumbnail are most likely not just a joke. Notice his acrylic stand teaser from V’s acrylic stand released recently:

When I first saw this, it looked SUPER weird. Me and my significant other said it looked like N and we thought the two things in the foreground of his body were his wings, meaning he was looking away from the viewer of the stand.

But then we looked closer and I started looking at my King Solver N design you can find in the murder drones link in my FAQ and we drew a more accurate picture of what we were seeing. N was not looking away from the viewer, all the characters are looking at us, and it would be weird to have N be different. So this is what we came up with:

W stands for his wings, T stands for where his tail is, L stands for his legs, F stands for his face and H stands for his hands.

His hands look a-little weird don’t they?

Remember this:

It was mentioned some where on Tumblr that this looks similar to the cocoon that Uzi broke out of in Episode 4 when she transformed into her solver form only N is being dragged in. This is obviously a biomechanical phenomenon of the solver. But why is he being dragged in?

To have his “final transformation” , a “final form” you may say?

The only thing is, after Uzis transformation, is when the solver really started to gain power over her, taking control of her as seen in Episode 4 and recently in Episode 6. As soon as she became biomechanical, the solver gained more control over her.

(Edit: sO this cocoon theory was wrong, but his emotions can still spill over and cause this!!! So its not fully wrong yet!)

Now think of the scene above and what happened to Uzi in Episode 4, but with N. N gets dragged into this cocoon, fighting but not able to escape, while Uzi is fighting inside her mind with the real solver, posing as CYN in the mansion as Uzi is trying not to lose her mind. While she’s stuck, N has his transformation, now not able to be protected by CYNs administration since Uzi is now the administrator of him and V, so he undergoes the transition, the solver not having much to fight against converting him to a biomechanical creature like Uzi. This gives it more power over N, and gives it a chance to take advantage of the situation to bury itself into N’s code, making his solver string: true. Now N has the same thing inside him that has possibly taken everything from him.

After this, he either gets possessed fully and goes on a rampage or the possession is slow, painful after he manages to escape the cocoon and get to the surface. Either by this point Uzi is still fighting in her head and N thinks she’s fully gone or dead OR she has successfully fought the solver and is looking for N. All his repressed emotions, everything that has happened, everything he’s lost…it’s all become too much. He snaps, lashing out on whatever is in front of him, this being the building we see in half in the teaser from yesterday. Before he can stop himself, he angrily swings toward the building, but instead of a sword, his gun or his claws coming out, there is this fleshy, gross growth that emerges, a blue solver symbol appearing in front of him and shooting towards the building, snapping it in half like a toothpick.

There is a moment of either him stopping in pure panic due to this OR his panic, sadness and fear turns into full on anger, him not able to repress anything anymore, taking a turn into a full on uncontrollable breakdown. The reason he had to repress his emotions for all this time, for fear of lashing out and hurting the ones he cares for. But now, as far as he knows, no one is left to care for. After all in the merch teaser today Uzi said really sarcastically:

“You’re meant to be better than us! Don’t become swallowed by the darkness/animal based merchandise (murders) like I have!”

And

“HIS EMOTIONS… CAN NOT BE CONTAINED!”

(which can be very much true)

This could end in either him being used by the solver as a host or Uzi coming back to help him and in turn as he said in the teaser:

“Okay I’m back! I’m better and it’s even deeper down now….haha! “ (basically his repressed emotions being repressed further for an even worst breakdown in a season 2)

That’s one turn it could take, but another could he that when he stops from pure panic due to what he’s become, similar to Uzi, and in the merch trailer today, and realizes he can use his newfound powers to save the ones he loves that are either left alive or find another way to fix what has happened.

(Someone mentioned on here that N’s solver powers could be similar to Time-travel to places he’s been to in the past, (like Dolls in teleportation to only places she has seen and Uzi doesn’t really have one yet, she’s not that far along in development of her solver) to go back and correct what mistakes he has made, fixing the timeline and THAT would be super cool if he does think he has lost everything or really has. If it ever find it on here again, I will tag it.)

Sorry this was SO LONG, but basically, N will have the blue solver due to the final two episodes and he will get a transformation like Uzis, having him grasp the thing that has basically ruined his life several times over being apart of him now, having to use it to save his loved ones. All the while not having a mental breakdown or angry blowup and losing control of his powers. So basically affecting the story and his choices greatly.

[cynthia39100]

Merlin rewatch -- S2E8: The Sins of the Father

I like how much it was shown in this episode the way Merlin cared about Arthur as a person. He wanted to keep him safe and happy. Whether he chose the right method is another question. It also showed how much Arthur trusted Merlin with his true face and his vulnerability.

After accepting Morgause's challenge, Arthur was very insistent and confident in front of his father, but here in his own room, with Merlin cleaning his armour, he allowed himself to show uncertainty, if not in words but in his demeanour.

I love these little glances of how they spent everyday life together. Merlin stayed at night, doing his chores and chatting with Arthur about the day's event.

I liked that Merlin mentioned maybe Arthur would hesitate facing a woman, not teasing but out of worry. He also wanted to spare Arthur of his guilt so he didn’t object to persuading Morgause to withdraw. He didn't forget to reassure Arthur either when the combat was inevitable.

This scene was so cute. Merlin was all serious before the fight, but once Arthur was safe and had the energy to complain, it was fine again for Merlin to tease him. Arthur could only whine like a child and make excuses in front of Merlin because Merlin would tease him. He wouldn't take Arthur's excuses, but he also wouldn't look down on him because of the childish behaviour. In front of Morgause, he congratulated her for the victory; in front of Uther, he accepted his defeat even when Uther blamed it on Morgause's magic. With Merlin, he said that it was because Morgause was a woman, or later Morgause used magic, and let Merlin disagree with him.

Why was Arthur picking the wall with his dagger like a naughty boy was shot so beautifully in the sunlight?? So melancholy. Gorgeous.

It's always "we" <3 I like that while Merlin and Uther had the same opinion about Morgause's motivation, what Uther did was to lock Arthur in, and Merlin was to get Arthur out. It's not like Merlin was convinced. In fact, he argued about it all the way until Arthur brought out his mother. But he would always follow Arthur's lead.

I love that after all the ranting on the road, Merlin didn’t say anything, anything at all, when Arthur finally admitted the real reason he was so insistent on the trip -- to learn about his mother. Beautiful understanding.

Then came the lovely campfire scene. It might be the first time Merlin willingly shared a piece of himself. In too many similar scenes it was Arthur sharing his thoughts or emotions while Merlin reassure him, making this scene extra special. I think Arthur looked a bit surprised too. I also love how quick Merlin replied “No.” when Arthur asked if was wrong to seek a glimpse of his mother at all costs. This beautiful understanding made the fact that Merlin chose to deny the truthfulness of Ygraine's spirit in the end all the more tragic.

I wonder what Merlin thought about the fact that Arthur was born of magic. About Uther’s hypocrisy. There was one instance where he seemed to be angry about that. But mostly he was just sad for Arthur.

The fact that Arthur allowed Merlin to witness this was another proof of his immense trust in Merlin. He was so exposed and vulnerable, a little kid begging for his mother's forgiveness. And he trusted that Merlin wouldn't use it against him.

After all those beautiful mutual understanding and heart-to-heart, it ended with a lie and a broken smile. Merlin really sounded so cheerful if you didn't look at his face. The contrast was heartbreaking. Merlin wanted to protect Arthur's heart so much that he made an unforgivable lie. Arthur trusted Merlin so much that he accepted it. Their dynamic was so tragic and beautiful I will never get over it.

[S2E8] [other episodes]

[casmick-consequences]

i rewatched the finale just now, and I have some thoughts.

mainly, i want to thank taika and david for this wonderful show that's brought me immense joy this last month, and i'll always take it with me no matter if we manage to get a third season or not.

did i like the finale? yes, i really did. did i think it was very rushed, had weird scene placements and could've gone with another episode to even things out? also yes.

as far as izzy goes (and this is where it gets extremely controversial knowing how much this fandom loves him); i am actually glad his storyline ended here.

this entire season, we got to enjoy him and we got to see his redemption arc. from someone who is obsessed with this monster of a being, to someone who learns to come into his own, away from all the toxicity and poison. he gets to find out more about himself, and with that grow closer to the people around him and allow himself to have friends. a family, even. would i have loved to see him live a full life like this? definitely. but story-wise, this is a perfect ending for him. "you born alone, you die alone" he said, and then he passed peacefully surrounded by his family and in the arms of not blackbeard, but edward.

i need the people of this fandom to understand that just because your favorite character died, doesn't mean that it instantly turns into a bad show/season/whatever. you have to look outside of your bias, and instead of going "no fuck this show because i did not want him to die" you could go "i am incredibly sad that he died but i'm so happy to have known him and to have him in my life". it's a show, the character isn't going away simply because he died.

but then again, izzy didn't mean as much as he did to the majority of you and i don't wanna go around telling people how to feel, because feelings and emotions are real and if he meant a lot to you then yes, of course you're hurt. and that's 100% completely valid. just don't take it out on the rest of the show and the show writers (saw some ppl say that nasty things were being tweeted at djenkins and that's not ok. at all.)

idk, even after watching it twice i feel kinda... weird.... like too much happened in little time. but i am OVERJOYED that lucius and pete got to have their little wedding <3333 they're mateys!!!! i just wish it wasn't over in 30 seconds, as well as completely overshadowed by izzy's death 2 minutes before.

but i do think the finale had some GREAT bits in it. even if most of it felt rushed, there was comedy, emotion, romance, GREAT kisses (the way gentlebeard was handled in this episode made me very giddy!!)..... it just always delivers.... and watching this with everything else that happened in s2 I can safely say that this might be my favorite season of any show out there.

once again; THANK you taika and david <3 love youuu

[theflyindutchwoman]

Can you better explain how Isabel factored into Tim and Lucy's fight? I've rewatched the scene multiple times trying to understand, but I'm just not making the connection, and I know I'm missing something. I thought the fight was about Lucy making detective, but then she brought up Tim's trauma with Isabel, and I'm just not seeing how they connect.

I can certainly try - whether I'll succeed, however, is another matter… Make yourself comfortable, it's going to be a long post. As always, this is merely my interpretation.

The fight was initially about Lucy making detective and escalated from there. That's because the issue goes beyond just this test : all of this is intrinsically connected to the whole undercover work storyline. This is the reason why she is taking this exam in the first place : so she can become a UC. And that is the crux of the matter. This is the topic they have yet to fully discuss : how Tim truly feels about her becoming a full UC officer considering his past traumatic experience. It has been bubbling for the last five episodes… And this time, it blew over.

In my opinion, you can see the progression of their argument in these 3 key scenes.

/ 1st - First scene in the shop (Lucy's spiraling) Here, Lucy is entirely focused on the detective exam. This is about the pressure she is feeling. Taking an exam is already stressful enough, but add the fact that one of the higher-ups is gunning for her, and her anxiety is understandable. I believe that up to this point, she has been trying not to let it get to her. We saw a bit of her distress when she found out about Primm potentially blocking her in 5.19, but that was it. Now that the date is approaching though, the cracks are starting to show. As someone else mentioned, she asked for TO/Sergeant Bradford to help her when really, she wanted (and needed) Boyfriend Tim. You can already see how she is second-guessing herself when she says she should have asked Nyla or Angela for help. And after that, well… She starts spiraling. Part of the reason why she cracks here is that she feels safe : she's in the shop, riding with Tim. This is an environment she is familiar with. So she starts unloading. Only, once she starts, she can't stop. She overthinks everything in a way we haven't seen her do before, not even when she was still a rookie. And Tim in that moment is completely caught off-guard, not knowing what to do. And to be frank, I don't think he realises how bad it is yet. Now, speaking from experience, I'm not entirely sure there was anything he could have said that would have made a difference. I've been on both sides of the equation and you usually feel powerless. What could have possibly helped was doing some breathing exercises with her, making her focus on the here and now, or simply taking a small walk… Like in that scene with Barnes and the ladybug in 3.11. Anything really to take her mind off that exam. But I'm afraid that would have only been helpful in the short term since the issue at heart goes far deeper than the exam.

/ 2nd - The fight in the shop (stake out) This is where the conversation starts to (slowly) shift away from the exam itself. At this point, Lucy is on a downward spiral and is second-guessing everything, including taking the exam. It's clear by the tears in her eyes that she is barely holding it together. Tim's immediate reaction is to protest and reassure her that she is ready. And when she argues that it would be better for her to wait, he tries to reassure her again that there's nothing wrong that. He even makes sure to emphasise that she can still do some undercover assignments while in patrol. Because he knows this is why she wants to become a detective. There is no malice in his words. He is genuinely trying to be supportive and help her deescalate. He trusts her to know what's best for her and if she says it is to wait, then he will support her. Just like he trusted her when she wanted to stay undercover after finding out Rosalind had escaped. Unfortunately, Lucy understands something entirely different. What she hears is that he doesn't believe she can pass the exam. Otherwise he would have insisted. And from there, she spirals even more. Her mind is projecting and creating a whole new scenario. Remember when I said she is second-guessing everything? Well, now it includes Tim. When you spiral, your mind tends to jump to the worst case-scenario. And before they can clarify this, the suspect shows up.

/ 3rd - The final scene And this is when it all comes crashing down. Tim is still trying to figure out what happened while Lucy's mind is already somewhere else. He's playing catch up here. When you think about it, it's not that different from the 'unless it is' scene : when they met outside the station back then, Tim was trying to understand why she didn't want to break up with Chris while Lucy was one step ahead of him and blurted her confession out. When they meet here in the parking garage (a few steps away from where they were in 5.08 by the way), she looks completely defeated. She solved the case but it doesn't feel like a victory. Now, her doubts go far beyond Primm and the exam. Doubts poison everything. And make you question everything. And in that moment, the thing she is questioning is why Tim doesn't believe she can pass the exam.

So why does she jump to Tim's trauma with Isabel? Because, in her mind, that's the reason why he is scared of her becoming a detective. If she passes the exam, she will be an undercover cop. Her words are : "Did you undermine me today because you're scared that I'm gonna make detective?". "Scared" being the operative word here. Like I said earlier, this is where I think the context helps. Ever since she told him about taking the detective exam in 5.19, she has tried on numerous occasion to broach the topic of undercover - to no avail. He has either deflected or walked away. Like in that couch scene at the end of 5.20 : "I'm worried that you won't [be able to handle me going deep undercover] - I'll be fine". Or that scene in the laundry room : "Look, it's not my first time - I know. It's probably what makes it worse - All right, now's not the time to talk about this". Before it finally blew over a little at the end : "If this is gonna work between us, I need to know that you can see the difference - Of course I can". And there's something to be said in the mirroring in the language here : "if this is gonna work between us" in 5.21 / "this isn't gonna work if you're gonna lie to me" in 6.01.

She knows about his trauma and like he said, he has acknowledged it with her since day one. But that was then. That was before they became a couple. Since their relationship changed, with the exception of that final scene in 5.21, he has yet to open up on how he truly feels about her doing undercover work. And because she knows him and his past, she can sense that he's hiding something. She can sense he is scared. He all but admitted it in 5.21 after all. But that conversation just scratched the surface.

The other reason she brings up his past and trauma is because the one time they did talk about this was when he jumped to the conclusion that she was hiding things while undercover, the way Isabel did. But they didn't go deeper, they were too raw back then. Still, this part of the conversation probably stuck with her. She has internalised everything for so long, has bottled up all those feelings, those things left unsaid until she couldn't contain them anymore. And she blurted everything out at the worst time. That's the issue when you don't talk about things : your intentions can get misconstrued. And watching your partner walk away from the difficult conversation, before you can actually talk things through, takes its toll on you. It creates a doubt. Now add all that spiraling, all that second-guessing she has done all day long and you got a recipe for disaster. She arrives at this crashing point where she second-guesses him. Because she is afraid too. She is afraid that the other shoe is about to drop.

Now from Tim's perspective, I believe he is sincere in his support. And I don't think that in this episode, his past even crossed his mind. He genuinely wants her to succeed, to have the career that she wants and deserves. When he says that she's different, that they're going to figure out, he means it. When he said they were worth the risk, he meant it. He already knew she was going to do undercover work. But he's also scared. The most obvious time was in 5.20 where they were sitting on the couch. The fear was written all over his face. That said, I get where he's coming from too : after his reaction in 3.06, I can understand why he is more guarded. That he doesn't want his fears to influence her in any way. "You don't let anyone ever tell you you can't do something. Not even me." I can imagine that he is afraid that should he be entirely honest, it would put Lucy in a situation where she feels that she has to choose between him and UC. And that's the last thing he wants. He doesn't want to be the one to hold her back in any form. Like he said in 5.02. He wants the best for her so he will be supportive, no matter what her decision is.

And here's the irony for you : he wants to be so supportive that he doesn't see that what she needs even more is honesty from him and that without that honesty, it is creating a doubt in her mind. It's a loop they are stuck in. At least, for now. All it takes to break that loop is to talk.

I hope this helped shed some light on the connection and answered your question :)

[ot9snumber1]

POLY!MISAMO POLY!MISAMO

im here!

yk me and bondage we just go together..

sub!momo getting tied to the bed bc she lost a bet of who could go the longest without touching themselves, sana and mina playing with her until she gets whiny and crying mess because of overstimulation..

I LOVE YOU!! always the first to save me <3

YES OMG :( misana intentionally made the bet with a drunk momo because they knew she would never ever last. even if sober momo swore she would never lose a bet (jihyo's competitiveness totally rubbing off on her), there were some things she just couldn't resist.

just as they thought things couldn't get any better (or worse, for momo), mina was out celebrating a friend's birthday and sana was out for another graff photoshoot.

in short, momo didn't even last a day.

sana was the first to tease her, sending her a selfie from the dressing room. she was only wearing the lingerie set mina bought her a while back with a very expensive necklace accentuating her cleavage. too bad you're not here, love. would do anything for you to eat me out rn :(

momo takes deep breaths and takes a cold shower. she just responds with a thumbs up emoji, making sana laugh. momo isn't a fool. she knows when she's being tricked. even if mina tried to get her to break the bet, too.

i don't think i ever sent this to you. thought you'd like it.

momo thinks she could implode at any given moment now. she stares at her phone, frozen as she stood still in the doorway to their shared room. mina was Evil. capital E.

the video mina sent seemed to be hastily recorded. the phone must've fallen over before mina hit record, because all she could see was the ceiling of the bathroom. not that she needed to see anything, anyway. she recognized the scene almost instantly.

"ah—fuck, fuck me right there!" mina moaned. momo felt herself blush, unable to click off the video. it was when momo had bought her current favorite strap and couldn't even wait until they got home to test it out.

momo takes another cold shower, but that didn't help either. her girlfriends were just far too stubborn to let her win just this once.

we'll be home soon <3 sana texted. momo felt happy at that, dreaming of being able to cook for them again, cuddle, kiss, et cetera.

until sana followed her message with a video of mina sucking on her tits.

that was momo's last straw.

"f–fu—ah!" momo whined as she inserted another finger into herself, barely being able to hold her phone. she tried to focus on rewatching the video over and over—but just the sound of sana's sultry voice commanding mina to do what she wanted was sending her into overdrive.

they wouldn't find out, right? if momo was just careful enough...

sana laughs maniacally when she steps into the bedroom. she didn't even need to walk closer to see the big damp spot on it. "mina!" sana calls out as she ran down the stairs to reunite with her girls. "i think our little momoring owes us something."

momo's heart drops. she'd never been more scared and turned on at the same time.

momo tries closing her legs again, the feeling of sana's fingers in her and vibrator on her clit just felt like too much. sana slaps her thighs lightly, forcing her to hold them open. "take it, slut. isn't this what you wanted? to be used?"

sana returns to overstimulating momo while mina pinched and sucked at her nipples. momo let out a high-pitched whine, tears streaming down her cheeks. "mff—fuck! please, i'll be a good girl i swear—"

"should've thought about that earlier, no?" mina teased. "you know how she is." sana hums, smiling in satisfaction when momo cums for the umpteenth time. "can't think about anything but fucking and being fucked."

both sana and mina laugh at that. "yeah. our baby is just a filthy–minded freak, hm?" mina coos as her fingers trail down to replace the vibrator sana held against her clit. "shit!" momo cried out, throwing her head back and wanting nothing more than to hold their wrists in place. (too bad her wrists were the ones being held in place. there was nothing prettier than sana's necktie restraining momo from doing anything but cry, in mina and sana's opinion.)

"answer." mina says lowly, slapping her cunt. momo whines again, her voice raspy from how much she's screamed so far. "y–yes! j–jus' a freak for you two."

sana chuckles again, curling her fingers in momo. "atta girl."

[creedslove]

WE CAN'T 💔 - PART TWO

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: things aren't great between you and Javier after you refused going out with him, but you two are just too stubborn to admit your feelings

(This is the second part of the WE CAN'T 💔 drabble)

• PART ONE

Warnings: angst, a tiny bit of fluff, Javier is a dick

A/N: guess what, I rewatched the McPickle scene and got jealous again 😀🤌

1.3k

Waking up the next morning to a cold empty bed, knowing that if you hadn't refused Javier's invitation, you would probably be waking up in his bed, or having his weight and warmth next to you; if maybe you hadn't felt so disgusted by Javier's clear acquaintance of those hookers, you would be lying next to him. It was a bittersweet feeling, on one hand, that was definitely a deal breaker for you, it made you uncomfortable to know he was just so regular for those girls he had certain intimacies such as knowing their real name, and not only that, they liked him, they giggled and blushed when he was around, whenever some of them were arrested for whatever reason, they'd always ask for Javi and of course, he would be nothing but sweet to them.

You could handle it if it was in the past, if you knew you could overlook that behavior, ignore the jokes around the office and give him a new chance, but the problem was mainly because Javier didn't simply want that; he was more comfortable in his evils ways, shielding himself from any commitments, running away from relationships and feelings, never wanting to settle down and allow himself to feel things, to him, the deepest connection he engaged was one where he didn't have to face any rejections nor personal attachments; he paid, he fucked, he came and he sent home. When he dared break the cycle he found himself so comfortable in it, he got rejected by you, so he vowed himself he wouldn't give you or anyone another try. He was fine just the way he was, not even knowing what came to him in order to make him have that awful idea of asking you out. He just didn't have the patience to go through it all over again, first dates, getting to know each other, flirting, and all of the ritual before he could actually sleep with the person, so he would stick to Helena, Gabriella, Vanessa and all the girls who loved pleasing him.

He wasn't sure how he would act once he faced you at work, he decided not to worry about that, burying his face into Vanessa's neck while she moved her hips against his, his cock throbbing at the feel of her tight pussy. He closed his eyes and fought hard the urge of pretending you were in his lap, he didn't want to, you'd refused him, he didn't want to even think of you, all it mattered at that moment was his pleasure and his pleasure alone.

•••

However, facing Javier in the office wasn't as bad as you thought it could be, just as you would never know he was also anxious about it. You were worried Javier would treat you like shit, would be rude or mean, and he worried you would spread what happened through the office, telling everyone you refused him, because of his ways. And yet, neither of you did what the other feared. Things were a little tense, Javi kept a lot to himself, not talking to you unless it was necessary, but when he did, he was soft and polite. The flirting and compliments were missing, but you would survive that. You liked Javier, a lot. But you two were incompatible and nothing could change that.

So days turned into weeks that passed by really fast and before you could even realize things, your birthday was right around the corner; in the meantime a lot had happened: you and Javi drifted away from each other, Connie had left Steve and the chaos in Colombia continued draining the three of you in a spiral of violence and depression, but once in a while, you felt the need of shaking things up and having fun, and because of that, you decided to throw yourself a small birthday party. There would be a cake, booze and some friends from work. Steve had already confirmed, being totally lost without his wife, not knowing if she'd broken things up with him or not; some other friends from work also said yes, but there was one missing: Javier Peña.

When you walked to his desk, he was on the phone, mumbling and chuckling, you could hear the name Gabi. You fought all the desire you had of rolling your eyes and walking away from him, but the moment he noticed your presence, he ended the call and turned his attention to you.

"Hey, Javi… my birthday is coming up next week, I'll have a small gathering at my place and I'd like you to come.. you don't have to bring me any presents, though"

He was quite surprised at the invitation, nodding and telling you he'd be there.

You were so excited about your party, getting ready and dressing up so nicely for it. People didn't take long to arrive, Steve was the first, of course, being the upstairs neighbor, he got to your apartment to help you up with everything. You chatted about many things, Connie, Peña, and work, and you realized Steve was actually pretty nice. Not that you didn't know that, but you often only paid attention to Javier, he was the only one you wanted to see.

As the party went on, you couldn't help but stare at the door every now and then, wondering what time Javi would be there. You were kind of excited to see him, perhaps you missed him, or perhaps you wanted him to see you, desire you and realize what he'd been missing because of his inability to seek cheap comfort.

But just as you waited through the whole party, Javier never came. As people began saying their goodbyes and leaving, you realized he probably didn't even have any intentions of showing up in the first place. He was such a dick, you couldn't even believe you even thought you could be friends with him.

Steve could tell you were disappointed and he knew exactly the reason why, better saying the reason who, you were disappointed in the first place, so he decided to stick around some more, helping you clean up and gather the empty liquor bottles.

As you were dragging one garbage bag full of them through the hallway, Javier walked in. His arms were locked tight around Gabriella's waist and you stopped dead in your tracks as you stared at them. The hooker swallowed looking at the two of you and feeling the tension in the air. Javier licked his lips and remained silent. He didn't know what to do, should he wish you a happy birthday or should he pretend he'd forgotten about it. Your heart was shattered, even if you didn't know if he did that to get back at you for declining his date or if he just did it out of cruelty, but it didn't really matter, at the end of the day, it just showed you you mattered less than a hooker to a man who claimed to have feelings for you, a man who claimed to at least care about you as a friend.

Steve walked towards you and held your face between his hands, learning forward and kissing your lips. His hand stroked your cheek, at the same time his warm lips were against yours, you didn't expect that kiss to feel so good, just as you didn't expect him kissing you at all.

As he broke the kiss, he smiled at you softly

"Good night, Y/N" he said gently and turned to Javier "night Javi" he said as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't just kissed the woman Javier had feelings for but was too much of a coward to stop hurting her. Steve went home feeling glad; Javier deserved to see you with another man after breaking your heart just as you deserved some affection, even if Steve didn't love you, he cares about you enough to try and give you a special moment in your birthday, something Javier didn't even try doing it.

____

[anastacialy]

actually, fuck it, i AM writing the essay, even if no one will read it.

my thoughts on penelope, how she sees herself, and why the carriage scene's ending is the most important thing in the whole wide world under the cut. and bridgerton season three part one spoilers, obviously.

penelope featherington hates herself. bit of a strong start here but, there we go. that's what you get when i'm going feral about her again at three in the morning. (it was eleven a.m. when i finished writing this post. i rewatched all four episodes of season three...)

i'll start from the beginning — she isn't a confident person. i think that's what a lot of penelope hate really comes down to, not relating to her in that way at all. not understanding what being treated the way she has can do to you. so let's start here:

imagine for a moment, no one fucking listens to you.

this includes her favorite people in the world. her family, for one thing, that's obvious, but her best friend, too. many times we hear eloise discover and re-discover what penelope's interests are in the series because, as she says, "i didn't really hear it." she was so frequently not really listening to her. they've been friends for years, but huge aspects of her friend's personality were completely unknown to her. this isn't anti-eloise by the way, i love her too, but we're adults who can admit our favs are all flawed people. the show wouldn't be nearly as fun if they weren't. eloise continues to belittle others for their interests when they don't match up to hers (like that poor girl who was just really passionate about embroidery) and she's done so to pen, however unknowingly, for ages.

penelope tried to beg marina to not fool colin into marriage. she had so, so many other suitors, so many other choices she could have made. all pen wanted was to not have her other best friend slash crush make that life altering of a mistake. but for this, she was called a child. immature. talked down to as if she knows nothing about the world. (she had been mostly right, by the way, in her insisting that george must still love marina, would still want to marry her, discovering that the letter had been forged. if he'd not died on the battlefield, penelope would have been the one to secure a happy ending for marina.) when she wasn't listened to then, she got more desperate, telling colin that marina was in love with someone else to deter him from the marriage while still careful to not ruin marina's reputation and expose her pregnancy in the process. she tried. but no one would listen.

so only when the situation became dire, she did the only thing that she could, and took matters into her own hands.

which brings us to lady whistledown.

it's interesting, really, that she chose that name. to specify lady so she might be taken seriously, yet not hide under a pseudonym completely removed from herself (i.e. using a masculine pen name or implying she's not a part of the ton at all) it's clear that lady whistledown is, for the most part, what penelope wants to and yet fails to be: someone who commands attention, who people admire and trust for an opinion, someone who gets listened to.

by the time we find her in season three, she's fresh off hearing her crush saying he'd never, ever court her, and her best friend finding out that she was lady whistledown all along and had exposed a secret of hers — only after penelope had, of course, also begged eloise to stop seeing theo, to stop raising the queen's suspicions, and was once again ignored. her only friendships have been destroyed, and she has resigned herself to a loveless marriage of convenience because she can't stand to be ignored, controlled, and belittled by her family any longer. she's ready to take the devil she doesn't know over the devil she does.

so, when i say her self confidence is on the floor, i mean it.

yes, a sliver of hope remains in her, and we can see that in her decisions (wearing parisian fashions, for instance) but her plan remains, she is simply going to marry someone, anyone, because she has to.

but even still, her confidence has not taken it's last hit.

let's imagine some more: no matter what you do, people are going to laugh at you.

penelope finally, finally gets her big moment. people stare at her as she enters the room. she still immediately hides herself in a corner because that's who she's always been, but still. she has a moment. not quite what she'd imagined, i'm sure, as she bought all new gowns, but attention and awe nonetheless. but it cracks almost instantly when her social awkwardness comes out, failing to get anyone to ask her to dance, and shatters completely when cressida destroys her dress before she can ever take to the floor.

colin tells her she looks nice, and her immediate reaction is "do not mock me, please."

it's only after this that she confronts colin about what he said, only after this that she speaks ill of him as lady whisteldown — not saying any more than what his sister had already pointed out earlier in the episode, mind you, that his change in personality seemed disingenuous — only after she has been publicly humiliated that she lashes out in her anger.

and, this anger, she also immediately regrets after colin has proven himself to be kind. it's a bit like making a snide comment online without the ability to delete it after.

but when penelope has hope, she is kind. she writes of the promising ladies of the ton and wishes them well with their matches, when she has hope she speaks positively of would-be spinsters and their successful marriages. many of her earlier musings in previous seasons were to call the women of the ton beautiful, to speak to their skills.

but hope for penelope does not last long. she manages to successfully speak to one suitor at the next ball (which, though this is another argument entirely, is backed by a string quartet version of "jealous" as colin re-approaches her at the drinks table — any arguments that his feelings start at their kiss isn't paying near enough attention) but the entirely true rumor about her having help from him spreads through the vine and penelope is hopeless once more.

and a hopeless penelope is a cruel penelope, as we've seen, and this time, she turns that cruelty inward, publicly. while she later says it would have been suspicious if lady whistledown hadn't commented, in truth, she has proven time and time again that her emotions rule lady whistledown's writings. in that moment, eyes tearful, she was embarrassed and ashamed of herself, she decided to say so. she repeats the same sentiment to colin when he comes to visit her:

"in truth i brought this on myself. a sad, stupid girl who believed she might actually have a chance at love."

and here is where lady whistledown continues to be someone penelope sees as different to herself, because penelope doesn't see herself as a lady. not just for lack of title — she does not see herself as worthy of or requiring protection. to call back to antony's season one romance: "every woman is not afforded such gallant protection." "every woman is not a lady."

she says nothing of him bribing her maid to give them time alone. like most of the ton she doesn't think the time they spend alone together could be anything other than platonic, at least on his end. they spent extended time unchaperoned at the bridgerton house and not once did she speak on impropriety. he'd been alone with her in the previous season and even when they were caught no one had a thing to say about it. no one questions it because penelope is not recognized as desirable, not seen as needing this protection, not seen as a lady. she is seen, even by herself, as a spinster already.

when she asks colin for a kiss, she reassures him that she would ask nothing of him for it, she would not entrap him in a marriage citing impropriety, she doesn't even think about whether someone might see. she does not care in this moment if she is to be "ruined," she only wants to feel some illusion of intimacy, some imitation of being wanted. even her running back inside immediately after, and the subsequent conversation under the willow tree, are further proof that she doesn't believe he could have kissed her for any reason other than pity.

and, even after all she goes through with lord debling, she is still not the only object of his affections. the entire time she pursues him, cressida is there, hot on the trail, ready to sweep him away on a moment's notice. penelope writes of their dance that his choice of her is surprising. though her feelings for colin have not simply fluttered away once debling's shown interest, her possible engagement to debling is on a wavering tightrope. not once in this can she feel wholly at ease with lord debling, only afforded a bit of security once he asks her mother for her blessing. and amongst this, her mother still belittles her, saying she should not become greedy for wanting to marry someone who actually cares for her.

she asks lord debling if he might ever love her, in all the years of marriage they may have ahead, and he says probably not.

and when colin breaks up her proposal, insisting debling isn't right for her, still penelope does not even consider, can not even conceptualize that it might be done out of jealousy. colin having feelings for her is laughable, she says as much, and it is the same thing she has been told over and over since the start. he chases after her carriage out of breath asks to be let in, gets on his knees and tells her he can't stop dreaming of her and she tells him "please. do not say things you do not mean." she cannot imagine that any of this is real. it is confusion that prompts her to repeat the agreement they had in episode one, "but, colin, we are friends."

and while an entirely separate essay could be written about the rest of the carriage scene, it is what happens the moment the carriage arrives at bridgerton house that stands out to me. they have this moment, colin asks "could the carriage driver not keep on driving?" and they both laugh, the way they always do with one another, and he fixes her dress (carefully, avoiding using a select few fingers as he does so) and they kiss again, and he gets out of the carriage.

and for a single, heartbreaking second, penelope's face falls, and she calls after him: "colin?"

it is so clear in her demeanor that she thought that was it; that's all she gets. the fantasy is over and it is back to reality. for a split second, she believes he is no longer hers.

for a single second, it's as though she thinks he is going to shut the carriage door on her, and walk away.

but he turns around, hand outstretched, asking if she'd like to come in. and she's once again confused, "what?"

do not say things you do not mean. do not mock me please.

and when he says: "for god's sake, penelope featherington, are you going to marry me or not?"

she looks so relived she could cry.

[diamondcitydarlin]

Doing my usual rewatches of the first two seasons of DiP (I literally watch both of them or an ep once a week, at least, I WISH I WAS JOKING) and I started internalizing this little detail in the premiere of season 2, when they're investigating the plantation murder during Erzulie week etc. It's, on the surface just this silly moment of Richard collapsing into a chair and putting a damp towel over his face

HOWEVER, this time I actually took note of the fact that 1) he's not wearing his suit jacket for what I think is the FIRST time in the station, there may have been an exception or two in the first season but I don't think so, he keeps it on like armor at all times no matter how hot it is. 2) he's not even sitting his own desk as he so normally would have in season one, he just plops down into Camille's seat without a second thought from either her or him, despite seating arrangements being a bit of an issue for him in the first season.

And then later, when he has an epiphany about the trap door, he's so wrapped up in it that he just...initially forgets said jacket AND his briefcase, the two things he usually clings to. He does turn back to get them (from Camille, who had waited by them in anticipation that he would remember) but then doesn't even waste time to put the jacket on before running out the door again lol

The point is, I think, that through these masterfully little, seemingly inconsequential details, we're starting to see Richard really acclimate and find comfort in his 'new' surroundings. If the suit jacket is part of his 'armor' that he wore regardless of how hot it was or his own personal comfort (which I think psychologically it is for him, still tying him to England and what he knows) then it says a great deal that Richard would finally be in a place to shuck it off without really thinking about it, that he's grown so comfortable with and trusting of Fidel, Dwayne and Camille that he wouldn't feel that subconscious impulse to keep it on at all times. Notice though, that it all DOES go back on when he's facing suspects he doesn't know.

And then there's Camille's chair. Again, it's not a big deal or anything anyone even notices in the actual scene, but it's a far cry for me from season one where he always made a point to sit at his OWN desk, in his OWN chair at all times, somewhat cut off and isolated from the rest of the group. Not here though. He sits in someone else's chair (again, without really thinking about it) in such a position that he's immersed in the main group while they discuss the case.

I can't help but wonder how this could have been taken further, if Richard had been on the show longer and they had kept up with this kind of subtle signaling. Maybe over time we'd see him regularly start to roll up his sleeves, even take off his tie and loosen his collar while working on cases at the station. Maybe even at some point, many seasons later, he starts slowly transitioning to more breathable Caribbean clothes, piece by piece. Maybe after a time a short sleeved, button down breathable shirt that resembles his English uniform, for instance. Pleated, but breathable khaki-colored trousers, maybe. (Could we get him to sandals?? Idk about that one but maybe lol)

It's honestly so sweet to me, to watch this very guarded character begin to unconsciously dismantle his own metaphorical walls in ways he never would have been able to even back home in England, and I think the fact that these moments ARE so subtle and go pretty much unnoticed by the main characters is what makes them significant and capable of happening. No one even thinks to remark on it, because it's just the natural thing to happen. It's where he's meant to be, one might say.

[thebiggerbear]

Six Sentence Sunday - 7/7/24 - Jon Snow x Sansa Stark

Pairing: Jon Snow x Sansa Stark

A/N: I've been working on this since...God, 2019, right after the show ended. There has been so many changes and corrections, trying to get the tone right, deciding what format to use, what length, etc. I think I finally have it nailed down and I've been slowly but surely getting back into it thanks to rewatching some key Game of Thrones scenes and now season 2 of House of the Dragon. That one scene up North in episode 1 had me longing for these two and that world so back at it I go.

This is meant to take place between season 6 and season 7 of Game of Thrones. It's a little more than six sentences.

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

A few silent minutes have passed when his eyes find their way back to her. “Lord Baelish is becoming too familiar.”

Sansa’s lips tighten into a thin line. This again… Jon is watching her and she chooses to now sip the wine she had been reluctant to partake in, to give herself a moment to collect her thoughts. “Familiar?”

Jon’s own jaw clenches at her question. “You know of what I speak.”

She places her goblet onto the table beside her and folds her hands in her lap. “Jon, I understand your concern but we have discussed this, over and over, and at great length--”

“And yet, he is still here,” Jon bites out, leaning forward slightly in his chair. 

Sansa tenses, ready for the argument that is surely about to happen. It always does whenever the topic of her unintended mentor comes up. “Because we need him,” she speaks firmly. “He is Lord Protector of the Vale and we need the Knights of the Vale.”

Jon scoffs and puts his cup down, getting to his feet. Almost as if this is a dance they have done several times over and Jon is starting the steps, Sansa knows he will begin to pace in front of her as his ire builds before voices will rise. “Lord Royce is the commander of the Knights of the Vale. It is his presence they require, not Lord Baelish.”

“Jon--”

He whips around. “He was in the crypts again, Sansa. Near Father, and near your Lady Mother. Again.”

Sansa feels her stomach tighten at this information. Only Starks are allowed in the crypts, it is something that is widely known. Nobles may visit the long lost Starks if they wish, as long as they have a Stark escort. Unfortunately, Littlefinger was obviously taking liberties and had approached Jon down there once--now twice it sounded like. She would need to rein him in.

A/N: Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for this mini series when it's posted.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

banner by @cafekitsune

Main Masterlist

Main Tag List Submission Form

[coco-bee]

INSIDE OUT 2 AND ANXIETY

Welcome to Media and Topic where I discuss a piece of media and how they handle a certain topic either in the story department or the production!

Today I’m discussing Inside Out 2 and how the movie handled Anxiety!

!! SPOILERS AHEAD !!

(I need to scratch the itch this movie gave me)

So I watched Inside Out 2 in the cinema with my friends after not going to the cinemas for a few years now AND I LOVED IT!! Very entertaining movie and I can’t wait to rewatch it on Disney+ :D

I want to discuss more about the first and second movie sometime when I get to watch them again

For now I want to discuss how this movie handles having anxiety!

Keep in mind I won’t go as in depth as I would want because I only watched the movie once and I can’t thoroughly watch it to find stuff I missed so I’m going off my memory.

So to start off of course we can’t discuss anxiety without well… Anxiety!

I genuinely love the way she’s portrayed! Not as an irredeemable monster but just wants the best for Riley and goes about it the wrong way. The way the movie interprets Anxiety as someone who prepares for the future is really smart! (and makes me rethink MY anxiety..)

Most people personify Anxiety as a monster who takes over the mind that they would like to be removed. But in this movie- Anxiety seems like an overbearing mother that is just trying her best but goes about it the wrong way. (at least to me)

The movie doesn’t go into the direction where Riley has an excessive amount of anxiety that requires medication or therapy but more of goes into the anxiety you get when you’re a teenager but it shows a lot more in certain situations than having it be a constant thing. Which explains why Anxiety while not gone is managed by Joy so that she won’t go off the rails.

Anyway I first want to mention the scene after Riley does her first game at Hockey Camp and Riley hears the Firehawks talk about her (I love how Val defends her btw I love her sm ARGHH)

(sorry the ss is bad quality I can’t find more)

The way Anxiety handled the conversation so smoothly was a very interesting scene! It adds nuance to the idea of anxiety not always being a bad thing. Anxiety can help someone stay alert in case of danger, make them aware of risks and motivate us to solve the problem/find a solution and in my experience helps with quick thinking. It only turns into a bad thing when it’s taken over ALL the time.

Basically the message of the first movie but instead of having toxic positivity it’s having unmanaged anxiety.

But things go downhill when Anxiety bottles up the other emotions in order to make Riley look cool and make new friends with Val and the Firehawks

And also removing Riley’s sense of self as she plants in more self deprecating ideas in Riley’s head to make this new belief that Riley isn’t good enough and has to ALWAYS improve (heavy emphasis on ‘always’)

Which gets Riley to abandon everything about herself. Like lying about her favorite band.

And abandoning her friends in order to look cool and mature.

In my experience this is VERY accurate. When you get overruled by Anxiety you tend to lose your sense of self. You lose your core personality traits in favor of what is seen as cool. PEOPLE PLEASER ALERTT ‼️ (Me too Riley… me too<3)

I also notice how Riley tends to make decisions that are completely against her morals and the rules when she’s letting her emotions take too much control instead of thinking rationally like sneaking to the Coach’s office because she was fueled with not knowing if she made the team or not.

A similar thing happened in the first movie where she stole her mom’s credit card. So just a detail to point out.

There’s also the scene where Anxiety got these…thought artists?? (I forgot what they’re called) to write the worst possible scenarios for Riley before a big game while she’s asleep. THAT SCENE IS SO RELATABLE I DO THAT A LOT especially when I’m going through something.

Again very accurate and not to mention a creative representation of this kind of thought process.

I also remember when Joy is formulating a plan to get back Riley’s old sense of self, in her plan she says to Anxiety “Hey! Stop worrying so much” and Anxiety (in Joy’s mind) replies with “I didn’t think of that! Thank you”

Which is PAINFULLY accurate to how people respond to others that have anxiety. They just respond with “Don’t worry” WHEN LIKE… THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS 💀

We need a lot more than “Don’t worry” to be able to well..not worry.

For me I talk it out for me not to worry anymore because I prefer having someone with me instead of being stuck in my head. And other people have different needs when they have anxiety.

I just really like that detail

There’s also the panic attack Riley gets

I love how Anxiety rushes around the console trying to think of some sort of solution but she’s stuck in this loop and just couldn’t stop worrying and panicking and that just… it hit way too close to home. When you’re having a panic attack you tend to get stuck in your mind to the point where you need an outside force to get you out of it. Like how Grace went to ask her if she was ok while Riley was in the penalty box which helped Riley get out of it and finally open up and slowly be herself again.

Usually if this movie was written by out of touch writers Anxiety would be “defeated”, Joy puts back Riley’s old sense of self and Riley is all happy again! BUT NOPE thankfully the movie doesn’t go in that direction because the writers understand how the brain works.

I like how even if Joy puts back the old self, it doesn’t automatically make things better. That sense of self was great for Riley when she was a kid.. but she’s not a kid anymore. She needs something else. So her new self is a mix of positive affirmations and negative affirmations about herself which is very realistic. Because as you get older you become a lot more humble and aware of your flaws.

I also like how Anxiety is not “defeated” in the end but instead becomes managed. When she starts spiraling, Joy helps her calm down and asks “We can’t control what happens but what can we control now? What can we do right now?” which is an AMAZING way for it to be handled.

It works a lot on me which helps me calm down and get my head back to earth and think rationally.

Overall this movie is very accurate with how it depicts being a teenager with Anxiety! And it really touched me as someone who tends to have it every now and then.

Please go watch this movie while it’s still in theaters (or available for streaming)! It’s worth your time!!

PIXAR HAS GOTTEN ANOTHER W

(also off topic I love how Fear is so fucking smitten for Anxiety it’s so cute I need a pixar short with them PLSSSSS SOMEONE DISCUSS THEM W MEEEE)

This is Coco typing… Thank you for reading!