#i totally didn’t almost forget to post this bc i was being silly on my sideblog

[heartslobbf]

something something new amv something something haunting patriarch in my head who can destroy me at whim something something catharsis

[ktheist]

girls like you [don’t] run ‘round with guys like me | m

characters. popular!reader x shy!jimin

genre. college au. rich kids au. fwb au. eventual ceo au. eventual racer au.

words. 4k

warnings. 18+

note. this is a repost. tumblr messed up my exposure last time. this fic didn’t show up in search and it’s probably a third post of mine that ends up like this. this one probably won’t either but posting bc someone might see it and like it.

x

It’s easy to tell when Park Jimin is in love.

Unlike Kim Seokjin, his eccentric, dad joke-loving friend, Jimin would only wear the pastel pink when he’s feeling giggly and shy and mushy inside.

The source of said feelings being either the barista he goes to get his daily dose of coffee from, or the girl at the library he studies at during finals or well, right now it’s the girl he’s fucking almost every day of the week - you.

“What are you doing?” Seokjin looks at him like he just dumped a spoonful of salt in a broth that needs a little, teensy bit of sugar.

Or his face seems to say that as he goes on, “she’s a mean girl. She’s mean.”

Jimin isn’t sure if Seokjin’s aware that he’s just repeated the same thing twice.

“She calls you Chim!” The older man reiterates.

“Yeah, it’s…” Jimin trails off, the heartwarming image of you cuddling into him after yet another mindblowing sex, flashing at the back of his mind, “...her pet name for me.”

“Sounds to me like she can’t remember your actual name,” Min Yoongi interjects from the couch he’s claimed for himself ever since they got to their usual hangout.

It’s a penthouse Jimin’s parents bought him on his 18th birthday. Him and the boys would hang around there after they’re done with classes or just need a place to crash whenever they have problems with their girlfriends or boyfriends or parents or any sort of problem that renders their usual room not sleepable.

“I think we can just agree we have different wants,” Jeongguk - or the sanest of them all, as Jimin likes to call him - chirps in, taking a bite of the apple he got from the fridge.

“Exactly,” Jimin throws his hands up as if freed from his elder friends’ judge-filled eyes. The vibration of his phone in his lap gives him even more comfort to know that he finally has an excuse to slip away - he checks his phone, your name flashing in the bubble that says ‘hey, wyd?’

“I have to go, it’s ___.”

A series of groans and hollers equally erupts from the men in the room at the realization of what Jimin’s ‘having to go’ means.

And so it goes. Jimin finds himself under your blanket that smells like fresh laundry - it’s a nude green color compared to the pleated black and white from last time. Your head is on his chest and he’s caressing your hair like it’s the softest thing he’s ever laid his hands on.

Besides your boobs, that is.

“I was thinking… since we have Monday off… maybe we could-”

It’s the way you push yourself off him, eyes that are onto him gazing straight into his soul, “oh shoot, Monday’s a public holiday. I totally forgot! I have to meet my parents. My dad’s been nagging me to come back since I skipped Christmas and New Year.”

And there goes his chance to ask you out on a date.

“Oh yeah, what were you saying about Monday?”

Jimin wears the biggest fake smile he can muster, “just that… me and the boys are gonna hang out and we’re bringing our girlfriends and boyfriends and uh- doesn’t have to be someone you’re exclusively seeing,” he almost chokes at the almost-admittance that he has the fattest crush on you and wants to make it official by inviting you to a couple’s-only hang out, “but like, I don’t think I’m going, it’s boring anyway.”

He waves his hand dismissively, trying to play it cool.

You make a cooing sound, eyebrows knitting together as your lips pout cutely before a playful smile blooms on your face, “I know what you’re trying to say.”

“You do?” Jimin thinks he heard his heart dropping to his stomach.

“Yeah, you’re single and all the boys have someone special they’re gonna bring… it’s gonna be awkward as hell because they’re gonna act different because they’re around their special someone so you thought if I was there, it’d be more fun because at least you have a friend with you that’s not gonna act fake the whole time there but I can’t go so you decided you’re not going too like a minute ago.”

Silence lulls in after your analogy that you sound so sure of when, in fact, he has a whole list of things he’d do on the date which he may or may not have gone over a hundred times in his head.

Doesn’t matter now, since that date is a no-go.

He’s going to delete that list off his phone once he gets to his place and drink himself silly until he wipes it out of his mind.

“Yeah,” Jimin says a moment later, “yeah… I mean, girls in love are cute but boys in love are just… annoying.”

The week flies by without Jimin ever mentioning Monday and you’ve showed him the clothes you’re going to wear to visit your parents because apparently-

“It’s lunch at some five star Michelin restaurant and I think they’re gonna tell me they’re getting a divorce,” your voice drifts into the room from the open, walk-in closet.

“If they’re not in some long, dreadful battle on who gets the holiday house with the pool and the dogs - how do I look?” You step out, in a frilly creme sweater with a black ribbon tied around the collar of your white undershirt with a black pleated skirt that stops mid-thighs, just inches from your black stockings.

A glaring contrast to your collection of washed out skinny jeans, plain t-shirts and sneakers.

“You… look…” Jimin knows he should stop openly ogling at your never-before-seen drip but there’s just something about the creme colored sweater.

“Like a good girl?” You offer with a smile Jimin couldn’t quite put a name to. Somehow he notices a trace of sadness in your eyes, but you disappear into the closet too soon.

“I’ll think about what to wear the morning I need to wear it,” you’re in the middle of pulling off the sweater when Jimin comes up behind you, kissing your neck and grabbing your boobs like they’re his.

The sound of your giggle is music to his ears.

That is, until his boner brushes against your butt and you gasp, “Chim! We just did it.”

“I know but you look so cute in that sweater.” He sounds exactly like Jeongguk. Like a fuckboy.

Like one of the boys you got tired of before you finally noticed him, the quiet, shy guy who’s friends with the outgoing, baby-faced Jeon Jeongguk whom - Jimin hates to admit it but he thinks about this every once so often and gets jealous all on his own - you’ve humped and dumped.

How you and Jeongguk still manage to stay friends and tease each other about the other’s choice of partners, Jimin doesn’t know.

It’s like a twin calling the other ugly.

He wonders if you and him will still stay friends after…

Jimin pushes the thought out of his mind. It’s not hard to forget everything when he’s with you - when he’s kissing you on the mouth like you’re the only girl he’ll want to spend the rest of his college life with and maybe his old days with together too.

“Chim, I can’t get my shirt creased,” you say but you’re already dripping wet and laying down in said shirt that’s half ridden up from him sucking and biting on your nipples.

He stopped you when you tried to take off your clothes.

“I’ll wash it and iron it for you,” he negotiates just as he rolls the condom over his length.

The sound of your giggle makes his heart skip a beat. Or maybe that’s the libido?

Either way, your mouth clamps shut when he pulls you down against him by the dip of your waist.

A different kind of hymn leaves your lips as Jimin throws his head back, relishing in the feeling of you around him.

When Monday rolls around, Jimin’s lying on the bean bag with his two legs sprawled over the floor. The boys are all out with either their significant others, working part-time or at a party.

The worn out baseball Jimin’s been tossing in the air and catching with one hand finally hits him square in the face when he hears the doorbell, signaling the presence of someone at the door and that someone being none of the boys because they would just punch in the code and strut in like they own the place.

Jimin thought maybe it’s Yoongi - the guy couldn’t even remember what he had for dinner and actually forgot the passcode to his own rental room once.

So he didn’t think to check who it was.

When your bright smile and slightly puffy eyes flash in front of him, Jimin thinks his soul just yeeted itself out of his body.

“Hey!” You sing song, holding up two plastic bags of beers and snacks.

It takes a moment for him to snap out of his stupor and grab them from your hands and then stepping aside to let you in.

“Is… everyone late or am I just early?” You sound increasingly confused as you step further into the center of the room, standing right next to the bean bag he was laying in just a moment ago.

“Oh-” he says once before he opens his mouth the second time, ready to spurt out another lie, “oh yeah… we decided not to ‘cause why hang out in a group when you can hang out with your significant other… you know, just the two of you… doing what couples do…”

“Huh,” you say, nodding though not quite believing him but you being you, easily lets it slide, plopping on the bean bag and grabbing the closest thing to you which is the ball that hit Jimin in the face - he’s sure he has a circular mark smack dab in the area on the top of his nose bridge, in between his eyes.

The dress you end up wearing is creme colored and riding up your thighs - Jimin swallows thickly and give extra attention to the bottle opener.

“So… how did lunch go?” He pops two beers open and hands one to you, taking a seat on Yoongi’s favorite couch and admiring how your dress is taking the shape of your body as gravity pulls it down.

“Oh, you know, everyone was being fake and acting like the perfect role in the family,” you put the beer down a few inches above your head so as to not tip it over with the ball you’re waving around but not throwing in the air like Jimin did.

“Sounds suffocating,” Jimin repeats a similar answer he gives whenever you use that dismissive tone while talking about your family.

“...are you okay?” Then he asks - and he’s genuinely asking - about your state of mind while casually downing the beer and feeling the bitterness lessen with every gulp.

The silence that lapses in between you is familiar.

“If I say no, can I get a hug?” It’s the look in your eyes, glimmering like the lake he used to go to in summer.

“Always,” he sets his beer down on the table next to the couch and goes over to you, standing on his knees before bending down and engulfing you in his arm.

You’ve always had a knack for picking yourself up.

When he sees you the next time, which is on instagram and a post of you having lunch with your friends, Jimin could hardly believe that’s the girl who asked him for a hug as if she’s afraid she’ll be putting him in an uncomfortable spot by asking for too much.

But there’s something…

Like an invisible wall made of ice that he can’t thaw through nor can he climb over to get to the other side where you are. Where you keep the people you love the closest. Closer than he’ll ever be.

Jeon Jeongguk is one of them.

In the picture of five people huddled close to fit in the frame, Jeongguk has his arm over you with a peace sign while you lean your head on his neck but not actually resting on it - like it’s an unconscious action you’d do because you’ve done that plenty of times.

Is it when you two were together?

Everyone he knows, knows that you and Jeongguk used to be more than just friends at some point.

Sometimes he still hears people talking about you two in passing.

‘Did ___ and Jeongguk get back together? I saw in Jeongguk’s snapstory - they were in a club or something.’

‘No way. There goes my chance of getting close with Jeongguk.’

‘Girl, with ___ hanging around him 24/7, do you think he’d look at girls like us?’

‘A girl can dream though.’

Jimin wanted to open his mouth and tell them they deserve way better than Jeon Jeongguk - though they’re not prettier than you.

He thinks you’re the loveliest girl on planet earth and if there was another life form on another planet, he’s almost a hundred percent sure you’d still be prettiest being in the universe with your obsession for skinny jeans and the way you’d unconsciously pout when he talks about how things weren’t going his way that day as if you would’ve exchanged your abundance of luck with his shitty one just because you’ve got that big of a heart and how you’d be walking with your friends, laughing and giggling and when you see him, you’d wave at him like you’re good friends.

Second only to Jeongguk and your friend group that you’re always hanging out with.

“Oh, ___? We were childhood friends.”

“Hmm… Gguk and I became friends because our parents are friends.”

The two of them say at different times and settings when Jimin asked, trying to play it cool. Like he isn’t just brimming with jealousy. Like he’s not half-way to losing his mind because the girl of his dreams just went to a retreat with his friend-of-a-friend-turned-actual-friend together when everyone else in the group who was excitedly planning for the trip - couldn’t make it.

The rooms at the inn weren’t even pre-booked. It was owned by Jeongguk’s family and they didn’t deposit any money for the trip for them to rationalize going on that trip anyway despite everyone else not being to go.

“The trip? It was fun, if you want we can go together next time.”

Jimin isn’t sure if you even mean that when he asked how the trip went after you’re glistening with the glow of after sex and scrolling through instagram, liking posts of everyone you know.

But then three months later, on your break, Jimin is hit with a ‘keep your schedule free next week for a whole week!!!’

Then he finds himself at a five star hotel by the beach with the most breathtaking view of the sea.

It wasn’t the inn owned by the Jeon’s but Jimin liked the fact that you brought him to a place - and he hopes his assumptions are true - your friends have never been before. Especially Jeongguk.

“Woah, this place is better than I thought,” a king sized bed lies directly across from the balcony where you’re standing, hair flying behind your back as the seaside breeze blows into the room.

“We can watch the sun rise and set from our bed,” Jimin comments for the sake of saying something.

He’s not sure what this means. He’s not sure if he should be having a boner at the thought of the two of you being together for a whole week without any other person getting in the way. He’s not sure if his heart should be thumping this fast.

For the first time since he’s known you, Park Jimin is the most unsure he’s ever been.

“You know what I wanna watch?” Your hands slip in his as you stand between him  and the open balcony door, “you under me, biting your lips because you’re still shy about the sound you make.”

So when you tug him back into the bedroom just minutes after checking in, naturally, Park Jimin follows like he’s been bewitched by your ungodly beauty.

Once the one week of nothing but heavenly morning wishes and passionate night kisses - oh, there was more than just kissing but Jimin remembers how your lips meld so perfectly together with his the most - Jimin is sure.

‘Something definitely changed.’

He thinks maybe it’s not impossible to dream of a future with you even after college.

“Jimin I-... I’m not at a point in life to be thinking about relationships,” you say, hand gripping your arm, head lowered as if your whole body is saying sorry.

“O-oh,” is all he says, he hearts his heart breaking and his chest caving.

All of a sudden, the lights in Gangnam city doesn’t seem so bright anymore.

You both live your last year pretending like the other doesn’t exist. He doesn’t look at you when he passes you and neither did you. Only talks to Jeongguk even though you’re right next to the aforementioned man - granted you were talking with your other friends like you didn’t even notice him there.

But Jimin’s never felt so invisible in his life than he does now.

Then, graduation rolls around and he thinks finally, he won’t have to walk through the hallway and pretend like he didn’t see you. Don't have to keep a five feet distance whenever you meet up for a group project.

Park Jimin doesn’t need to see your pretty face and starry eyes anymore.

“Jimin… do you have a minute?”

Or so he thought.

“So… congrats on surviving college,” you make small talk while standing just ten feet away from the boys whom he’s sure are speculating on what you’re talking about.

Jimin never got to prove to his friends that you’re not the mean, name-forgetting girl they all thought.

Jeongguk knows you’re not. He’s always backing Jimin up when Jimin’s debunking their passing accusations about you.

“Sometimes things just don’t work out between two people but doesn’t mean one of them is the bad guy.” Jeongguk's words put an end to their debate of whether Jimin deserved better than you or not.

For someone young, Jeongguk spoke his mind decidedly.

Jimin felt ashamed that he’d ever been jealous of Jeongguk’s relationship with you.

“I just… didn’t wanna leave things on a bad note. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I said no but I really like spending time with you - whether it’s sex or just staying over and cuddling for hours… I like it all.” You say the word sex and cuddle like they’re used interchangeably and Jimin thinks his heart just fluttered.

And you’d said it in public where your everyone can see or possibly pick up on what you were saying, at that.

Well, one thing’s for sure, you’ve got bigger balls than he does.

“My feelings are the same as six months ago and call me crazy but I don’t think you dislike me either.” He finally says and it feels like a deadweight has been lifted off his shoulders.

There comes that pout, as if something is bothering you and you always ever pout like that when that something concerns him.

“You kidding me? I can never dislike you.”

The Jimin from six months ago would have stared at you with disbelief and a dust of pink on his cheeks. But the Jimin he is now simply smiles, heart thumping in his chest. He nods.

“Thanks for telling me that,” and Jimin knows that’s the closest to an ‘I like you’ he can get with the girl who builds an ice fortress around her heart.

A whole year passes by and Jimin finds himself in different shades of grey every day, working at his dad’s company and attending dinner meetings. Life comes to a standstill while time passes him by.

“So, like, you have a sports car, right? Why don’t you come over to the race circuit after dinner? Everyone’s gonna be there.”

Jeongguk tells him over the phone.

And by ‘everyone’ he means the sons and daughters in the corporate world. It’s networking at its finest.

When he’s there, three cars are already racing in the circuit. The smell of burnt rubber and the sound of tires screeching against asphalt isn’t exactly his favorite but they have cheap booze instead of fine wine and he knows the people here are in for the same thing as he is.

An escape.

Away from the grandeur of fine wine and dinner dresses and the elders breathing down their necks and having to act like the next heir to the legacy they were born to carry.

“That Chevrolet over there,” Jeongguk comes, hand on Jimin’s back as his other one that’s holding a bottle of beer points at a red car that looks like a racing fireball, “everyone’s betting on that one tonight.”

Jimin doesn’t know there’s a bet.

“I’ll skip the bet this time ‘round. Haven’t seen the driver yet,” he shrugs dismissively.

Even in stock investment, he’d learned to study the market first before placing his best bet.

Jeongguk leaves his side when his friends - he’s got new ones now - beckons him over. At the same time, the Chevrolet passes the finish line seconds before the Ford Mustang and McLaren 720s, making it the winner of the night.

The driver seems like a show off with the way the car rolls up to the audience, the sound of its engines revving into the night being met with cheers of half-drunk young adults.

Arrogance is a man’s downfall.

Jimin’s about to turn around and head for the exit when the door of the car gets pushed open. The driver steps out, decked in black and red leather jeans and jackets that seem to match the car.

But it’s the smooth, silken hair that cascades past the helmet that catches his eyes.

Park Jimin’s seen many arrogant men in his life but he’s only ever seen one woman with balls and looks good wearing them.

“___! ___! ___!” The crowd starts cheering as you pull off the helmet, holding it underneath your arm and waist.

Your eyes are as brilliant as the night sky full of stars. They’re tinged with shock and then recognition. And finally, you smile that gorgeous smile that gets you misunderstood often as a woman who doesn’t need anything or anyone but uses them as they come.

But Park Jimin knows better than anyone, how wholeheartedly happy that smile looks when you see him.

Like meeting a good friend after a long time.

Seven months down the road, Jimin finds himself with just a blanket draped over his waist while you’re taking a shower in his bathroom to get ready to head to Hong Kong for a business trip.

He hears the sound of the shower head being turned off. The tapping of your foot around his bedroom as you pick up your clothes that are strewn all over the floor.

Then the bed dips ever so gently under your weight as you climb over to him, the fresh scent of shower get filling his senses.  Lips press a deep, lingering kiss on his. As if you don’t want to go to a place where he won’t be.

A few socials and midnight races after his first meeting with you after a long time, you asked him if he’s seeing someone.

“If I say yes, what will you do?” It’s playful at first, because Jimin didn’t want to get himself hurt the second time.

But it’s the way you tilted your head, a finger tapping on your chin as you pondered on his words, “that’s a problem because I don’t want to be that girl that steals another girl’s man,” then you looked at him like you know he’s the one you want to wake up to every morning and the last face you see when you sleep at night and if you can’t have that. then-

“Can you be mine… just for tonight?”

“I don’t think I can.” The crestfallen expression you wear makes his own heart break, even if it’s just for a split second-

“Because I’m not seeing anyone but I’m in that point in life where I want a serious relationship or nothing at all.”

But what he doesn’t tell you is how he doesn’t want a relationship if it’s not with the girl who still haunts his dreams even after all this time.

Just like how you’d turned him down because you weren’t looking to be in a relationship before, you’d courted Jimin like you’d want to spend your whole life with him now.

Flowers got sent to his office everyday until it smells nothing short of floral. You’d be there, waving at him like he’s your savior in that dreadful social you were both attending. Every week, you’d plan dinner dates under the guise of catching up.

Before you race, you’d look over to where he’s standing, as if saying ‘this one’s for you’ before slipping into your car and coming out first every single time.

As if you were making up for every month of the year that you’d let life pass you by.

Now you’ve won a total of 36 races since he met you and the metal band you gifted him on the night of your 12th win feels warm against his skin. As if it’s absorbed all the love and adoration you poured into it.

And you’re wearing that ring he got you on your birthday on your finger that’s resting on his chest where his heart is as he kisses you back just as reluctant to let you leave.

But Park Jimin knows wherever you are, wherever you will be - you will always find your way back to each other.

Back home.

[awhilde]

kaeya as your boyfriend!

seeing all these hc’s for genshin is making me sob like god damn all these enemies to lovers for childe and lumine is making me simp for him. also i’ll never shut up about kaeya his yoho in the manga reminds me of oikawa and that just throws me into a whole other world of hurt

&& this is potentially the last piece of genshin content that i’ll post in a while bc i don’t just want to write purely abt genshin however !! if someone asks for it who am i to say no?

neways,,, kaeya as ur boyfriend!

the beginning of your relationship would have originated with his confession to you

despite being a huge romantic, kaeya confessed to you with no prior planning, nothing spectacular like a mysterious note leading to a tree caked in snow despite the rest of the world enveloped in a still night

in fact, kaeya hadn’t even come to terms with his true feelings when it occurred, he simply knew that he found you fascinating and of good company. besides, you easily bounced back his roundabout way of talking and your banter provided him good humour

so when the two of you were casually patrolling the streets of the city on the lookout for potential hazards, he’d dropped the bomb mid conversation when you guys were talking about your family

“yeah, i totally get that.” you had said in reply to his advice. “i’m just anxious i guess, on what i should do. after taking so long, is my brother even still alive?” after a shaky inhale, you laughed off the suddenly sombre atmosphere. “sorry, i didn’t mean to bring the mood down. i suppose i just felt a bit alone in this whole situation. its like no one is taking my brother’s disappearance seriously and its being overlooked because of all this dragon business.”

kaeya hadn’t been sure as to what to say for he felt slightly guilty for forgetting the reason why you ended up here as well. he felt an odd pang in his chest at your crestfallen expression, more so at how much you tried to cover it up with a smile.

he’d suddenly turn from walking beside you to standing in front, gauging your expression and successfully halting you in your step

he’d confess with a smile, clearly not expecting a response and solely in hopes of letting you know that he cared for you and you weren’t alone. he wouldn’t be nervous ion think, he knows his worth and would be completely comfortable with only being your friend. he’d let the news comprehend in your mind before turning around, wishing you a goodnight and a slight pun about how the early bird gets the worm

oh boy, kaeya’d would have never expected you to return his feelings but you did anyway, replying in a similar, quiet tone, expressing the emotions that you felt around the ice man and only THEN did he blush. he’d hid the majority of his reddening face behind his palm, looking off the right slightly to try and hide his face from you. the fluistered look on his face sent you out of this world

neways, the night ended in a limbo between awkward, flustered glances and timid silence, and finding the situation hilarious because well,, it just was to you two

the day after that, your relationship was relatively the same

except, kaeya no longer hid his lingering looks at you anymore which made 1). you blush and 2). everyone suspicious

but i mean they called it so,,,

everyone, that is, except paimon who exists only to be the biggest cockblocker you’ve ever met. no like seriously, did almost drowning cause the last sliver of common sense to escape from her?

regardless, paimon was on your ass every. single. time you and kaeya talked whether it be in private or within a group

like that one time when kaeya managed to get you alone in the library, having not had the opportunity to talk to you privately all day

he had stood a little too close to you (bc kaeya is a : dom and towering over you is something he would find pleasure in doing) as you talked. clearly, he wasn’t paying attention to your attempt at small talk instead opting to inch you closer to the wall with a smirk

you’re not completely dense, you knew exactly what he was doing but he was hot so you let it slide, finding the situation kinda addicting to be in

“anyway, amber was telling me something about cleaning up the aftermath of stormterror, something about barricades and the like, are you going to be helping us this time?” you had asked him, eyebrow raised over the book you had clutched to your chest

kaeya smirks and steps closer again, causing you to back away slightly. “and if i don’t?”

“go ahead and find out yourself, pretty boy, see how well that turns out.”

the bored challenge in your voice disappears when he closes the gap between you two, placing a forearm easily above your head and tilting your body in that respective direction, easily caging you in

“caring for me? where did your tsundere act go?” he whispered, breath tickling the hairs framing your face. by now, you were sure it was obvious that you were blushing

your eyes flick to his lips and back to his eye, his own catching the movement and you swore his lips stretched further into that smirk. his face edges closer to yours, a still silence in the form of an inhaled breath tense in the air and just as kaeya’s lips touched your own

the door to the library slams open

kaeya immediately brings his head up and checks behind his shoulder, body still encasing yours but this time in order to protect you

and you can’t see because,, well,, kaeya’s body was obstructing your vision so you turn to look around him but he moves that way too, protecting you from the intruder’s sight

but well, you didn’t need to see the person to know them because their voice was a dead give away

“kaeya!” paimon exclaimed and you hear kaeya’s short huff of exhaustion. “have you seen name? she said she was around here but,,, paimon hasn’t seen her anywhere. why are you looking at paimon like that?”

convinced that she wasn’t a threat, kaeya sighs and leans his forehead against yours. you giggle slightly

paimon finally sees you, at least your figure anyway and gasps. “wait a minute, is that a girl paimon is seeing? kaeya, what are you doing with this girl? unless,,, omg are you cheating on name?”

and without looking at the floating human, kaeya tells her to leave in a firm voice. clearly, he didn’t like any of this bullshit

and paimon gets a little scared before she huffs, telling him that she was totally going to tell you what he was doing

and the door slams after her with extra intended force and with the help of a few icicles

kaeya opens his eyes and gazes longingly at you, frustrated and annoyed at well,, being cockblocked. the moment of intense sexual tension is over and being flustered is well past you know. besides, you kinda wanted to clear up the misunderstanding before paimon spreads some nasty rumour. and sure, kaeya couldn’t care less about his reputation, but you cared about his

so you laugh at his misery and give him a quick peck on the lips before ducking under his arm and exiting the library

kaeya would be a little stunned at your move on him, but he was well aware of your cheeky side. for the rest of the day, he would declare war on you, trying to get you flustered again (bc its funny and cute). he’d do things like cooling his skin when you accidently touch him, standing way too close to you in group discussions and !! breathing down your neck (bc mans has cold breath) and just generally looking at your direction  

you’d fight back bc he’s being ridiculous, winking when you caught him staring, squeezing his hand when he walks past and jokingly avoiding his attempts to get you in private

bc i mean, there was a dragon terrorising the world so romance shouldn’t be your first priority

a shame that kaeya thinks he’s all that and confident in his abilities that he’s like yes i can juggle saving the world and winning over my girlfriend in my sleep wym

when this silly “fight” is over, you finally let kaeya drag you into an alleyway, pressing you up against the wall and kissing you without words

and you smile into the kiss bc frustrated kaeya is so cute

and that’s the relationship, just a mix of pure fluff (bc kaeya really does care for you a lot), stupid banter and sexual tension!!

wow!

[17tetsuro]

BACK WITH OSAMU CAUSE I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT !! Ok imagine that you work with him, and it’s closing hours and all the customers left so it’s just you two playing music while cleaning and it turns into a duet and then silly dancing around the kitchen and front of the house ?? MY HEART !!!

we will waltz

osamu x gn!reader

warnings: none <33

requests are open!

ohohoho, anon, you are just feeding my daydream scenarios and i am very thankful for that. this is gonna be more like a short lil story rather than a brainrot post bc,, yeaA also this is the song i think y/n and osamu dance to, but its totally up for interpretation, i just have a soft spot for the lumineers lmao

osamu, to be frank, never expected to fall for someone he works with, but here he is, watching you hum along to the songs on the restaurant’s after-hours playlist (courtesy of atsumu, who insisted that it’s a necessity to have playlist for every occasion), and trying to fight off the smile that’s threatening to creep onto his face (and failing).

he just can’t believe he gets to spend these moments with you, in the low light of the foyer, soft music coming from the speakers, the silence only occasionally broken by the sound of a mop being dragged across the floor. he lives for the peace and content he feels during these evenings.

he leans on the broom in his hands and lingers his eyes on you; he doesn’t think you notice, but your strokes with the mop actually match the song’s melody and he finds it so endearing it makes his heart clench.

he decides that he can’t wait anymore; he marches over to you and snags the mop from your hand.

“‘samu, what are you doing? i still have like half of this place to clean properly and i-“

he cuts you off with a request. “dance with me.” for good measure, he extends his hand towards you.

you try to stifle a laugh, but ultimately fail. at his questioning look, you explain yourself: “you’re adorable. bowing and extending your hand like that. of course i’ll dance with you.”

he hopes you don’t notice the blush and relief that spread across his face as you step closer to him, resting your left hand on his shoulder and linking your right with his left. “you know how to waltz, osamu?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“of course,” he replies smoothly and pulls you closer. you relax in his hold and fall into an easy rhythm, with him guiding you.

osamu knows, from the first step that this is going to be a memory he will forever treasure, and he hopes it’s the same for you. he glances down at you, so close, yet so far, and wonders what good he did in his life to deserve to have someone like you.

he’s startled from his thoughts by your singing along to the song and smiling up at him. your smile looks so radiant, it makes his heart ache. it also makes him lose track of his steps and almost crush your toes.

“oh, god, i- i am so sorry, i swear i- i didn’t mean to step on your legs, y/n, god, this is so embarrassing, i am so so-“ your laugh makes him pause.

“‘samu, can you please stop apologizing? i’m fine, i swear,” you reassure him, and even though he’s still not entirely convinced your toes are fine, he tries to believe you. “well, song’s over, time to get back to work,” you say with a sigh and try to reach for the mop again, but his hands holding you close to him stops you. you’re about to question what he’s doing, but he speaks up first.

“hey, y/n, can i- can i kiss you?”

“i- yeah, osamu, i’d really like that,” you reply, and his whole face lights up.

he sneaks his left hand from your grip to gently cradle your face and leans in, just enough to brush your lips together, giving you a chance to back out.

you pushing your lips to his surprises him in the best way possible, and he eagerly kisses back.

the kiss feels like a promise. a promise of a bright future, filled with love and hope, with laughter and joy, and osamu is, once again, reminded that he will never forget this night.

[purplepalmdelight]

why life is still okay (rambling fic rec pt. 1)

firstly: shout out to @trulyalpha for apparently owning my entire bookmarks page on ao3 (bc i only realised all my favourite fics were written by the same person,,, yesterday. bc im really smart like that) anyway breakdown of why she’s a stoncy saving grace thanks!!!

you ease my mind, you make everything feel fine.

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/13842039)

yes this fic is from 2018. yes i read it every other week. it’s good for the SOUL. jonathan getting taken care of is always just such a good and sweet concept (maybe it’s my intense, undying love of him, but he deserves to be taken care okay) and. okay i’ll admit, sometimes i forget how fucking FUNNY this fic is, but it’s genuinely hilarious, okay? you gotta trust me on this. it makes me cackle at inappropriate times absurdly often. ("Hi." "Hi." "I want you, you fuck." is a top line. i laugh so hard every TIME.) all three of them are so incredibly in character, and somehow this NAILS the fact that they’re all massive disasters pretending to be confident. and i’m not someone that reads ~smut~ often (though it’s more mentioned than described, very non-explicit) but this didn’t make me even the least bit uncomfortable. it felt very natural and in character and made me laugh as much as the rest of the story. all in all, i always come away a little more in love with the characters, and that’s a really precious feeling.

you could be the one to make me feel something

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269476/chapters/32912745)

i take back everything i’ve ever claimed. this IS the funniest piece of writing i’ve ever read, and it WILL remain so, probably until the day i die. i honestly... barely have words. my expectations were high when i started it, but in retrospect, they were LEAGUES below what i got. the characterisation, the progression, the dialogue, the story; from the overarching aspects to the tiny details, it’s impeccable. i genuinely read this twice in one day, and then again the next. every single part of it is so good, but in terms of FAVOURITES... the christmas section. hilarious. down to its bones, well crafted and heart felt. it hits me right in the chest every time. the story, from the beginning, has me just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is, and as everything grows more intense, so does my investment. it pulls me in and doesn’t let me go until it’s good and ready to see me leave. again, the sexy aspects are so in character and natural that it’s uncomfortable or weird to read and instead just leave me grinning like an idiot. also ( “It did frustrate me, in more ways than one. It’s also a weird plan, like … did you expect me to be so overwhelmed by the power of a boner that I’d just admit my feelings?” is SUCH a funny line, i think about it literally every day. literally. every. day.) the characters are afraid to be messy, to make mistakes, and they all feel so ALIVE that when i leave the story, i feel like i’m leaving a friend. it’s honestly beautiful and honestly breathtaking. this story is better than a lot of published books, honestly, and i’m so grateful for it. so thank you.

i crash my car ‘cause i wanna get carried away!

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17131202)

...you really wanted to make me cry, huh? i cried out of grief, yeah, out of the depth of nancy’s guilt and the pure rawness of her mourning, but i also cried out of catharsis as she came to terms, and out of laughter a few times. the bit about total eclipse of the heart as a motif was... that was so well done. i hate drawing comparisons, so please understand that this is criticism of a concept and not a particular story, but in so many stories then nancy’s grief feels... trivialised? that’s not quite the right word. romanticised, maybe. as someone who has lost a friend in the past, it’s just... it doesn’t feel realistic? and that’s okay, because it’s hard to nail something you haven’t experienced, and i wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone. it’s just that stories like this, where i can really resonate with nancy and follow the journey of her recovery WITH her are so rare. this story is a gem, it really is. i don’t love it for all the same reasons as the others, but i love it fiercely all the same.

there’s nothing magic going on, and then along came you

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994137)

sure, you could be the one is the funniest fic i’ll probably ever read, but nothing magic is such a close second. it’s laugh-out-loud, get-tears-in-your-eyes, fall-out-of-your-chair, and it’s also so goddamn SWEET i can hardly stand it. of the several fics i generally group together in my head (nothing magic, you could be the one + its sequels (might have to make an individual post about this series), laugh until we think we’ll die, and got nothing for you; all very similar, yet incredibly unique) nothing magic is the shortest, but that doesn’t mean it compromises on quality, oh no. it just means i can read it quicker, and therefore more often! when it’s late and i’m tired and i need a laugh to calm down before i sleep, i generally go search this fic up. remember when i mentioned the whole “being just as in love with nancy and steve as jonathan is” thing? it’s like that except... almost funnier. in you could be the one, it’s just that the story naturally tugs you into adoring these two messy, silly, sweet, amazing young adults, because how could you not? how else could you possibly feel? but here, they are genuinely just... that funny. they are actually just so funny that you as a reader click with them and find yourself grinning like an IDIOT because oh my god you’re disasters. maybe it’s the inherent relatability of a tired highschooler trying to make it through the summer and hating his job along the way, but this fic hits right in the heart every damn time.

got nothing for you other than love

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/17596658)

"You trust me," she says.

They both know it's a fact, not question, but he still says, "Of course."

and

By then, his shell wasn't something he could step out of. It was part of him. But that was okay. He didn't need more. What he had was enough.

He always did have trouble with wanting more.

and

"Hey, babe?" Nancy turns her head to look at Steve, touching his shoulder. "Can you buy me a drink?"

"Sure thing. What d'ya want?"

"Surprise me. Not like that time we were here and you snuck out the store, went to a smoothie stand, and came back with a mango smoothie."

Steve grins. "But I did surprise you."

and

"Do you have food in the backseat?"

"The sandwich has only been there for like, two weeks—"

and

"Ugh. Too much cheese. I'm lactose-intolerant, remember?"

"False, you're not intolerant of anyone except people over the age of fifteen with bowl cuts and guys who wear shorts in the winter."

and

"Where are you off to? I'm your only friend," Kali says, frowning.

and

"You good, man?"

"Yeah," he says, his throat dry, "I'm great."

"Yeah, you are," Nancy says, and he is. He is.

and i can’t continue because that’s, like, barely halfway into the fic and i’ve already skipped so many of my favourite lines and i would have to skip so many more. you see what i mean about sathana being funny as hell? and like all the others, it’s not just the humour here. i mean... it is, because it’s SO FUCKING FUNNY I LITERALLY CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH but the reason it’s so funny is because it’s so candid. it’s so smooth. the whole thing flows. you’re not left feeling that you’ve missed a piece or that anything was sacrificed; you just feel like you’ve read something incredible. this fic is an experience of its own that i honestly have never experienced before. it’s sweet, and it’s gentle, and it’s just so overwhelmingly good that i don’t think i’ll ever quite get over it. in short? it’s a blessing. my expectations were high, but holy fuck did you blow them to bits.

one more favourite line:

Things are ending, things are starting, and everything looks bright. It won't always be that way. The sun's got to set at some point. But, gazing up at the sky, at the pink bleeding into orange, Jonathan figures it'll have to rise again. No matter what happens, these two things are constant.

"Hey, you look awfully lonely," Nancy calls out, walking towards him, reaching out to him with the hand not in Steve's.

Well. Maybe not just those two things.

that scene, in general, is beautiful, and it wraps the story up on such a genuine note. it feels like a film with how clearly i can picture it. it feels like no fic i’ve ever really read before. it feels... good. i guess i don’t really have the words. it just feels so good.

as an overall statement on why i call her my favourite author... it’s the realism. maybe that’s surprising, considering how many times i said “funny” or “hilarious” in here, but in the end, i wouldn’t be so attached to her work if it didn’t feel so real. i can open a tab and instantly get transported to a home i’ve never lived in. it’s comfortable. it’s sweet. and the dialogue/banter is always perfectly crafted. there’s just never really a downside to her fics, honestly. even if i wanted to search, i don’t think i’d find one. not even one of those “their only problem is that there’s not more to enjoy” kind of comments, because every single one feels perfectly crafted in its own right. it doesn’t need more or less. it stands for itself and it’s goddamn good at it.

i didn’t anticipate having to do multiple parts on this post, but- surprise surprise- i haven’t even gotten to my favourite one yet! so yeah, pt. 2 will be written after i finish the history essay trying to murder me, god knows when that is. in the meantime, please go give her some love and adoration. she deserves it.

[kim-lexie]

week-by-week playback: crash landing on you.

just to preface, pardon that some of this may not be cohesive. i made this a separate post because otherwise the collective review would be insanely long. and i wanted to keep a space where i just let my thoughts from each episode exist, so here it it. 

if you want to see my semi cohesive thoughts from the themes and characters here is my actual review. crash landing on you.

*spoiler alert*

ep 1-2 my goodness this man, hyun bin (aka ri jung hyuk in this drama) is dreamy as ever. *like swoons*. son ye-jin is perfect, i loved her in "something in the rain” and this character is completely different and i am loving it. this free easy going aide of this actress. she is adorable and i love how in a crazy situation the first thing she thinks is ‘you’re totally my type’ bc seriously a girl after my own heart.

now the concept is completely ridiculous but i’ll jump on the band wagon and live my best life bc i think this is going to be a unique concept that i fall for. the fact that she doesn’t listen to him and goes directly into north korea i’m like girl you’re crazy.

i love how they added the clips at the end of the episode and how he was laughing at her. precious how he’s already falling for her quirky side. i am intrigued to see where their relationship first started like how did they meet before how did he leave north korea and enter back in as a general captain?!? so many questions and i’m so excited.

ep 3-4.  kim ju-meok (captain ri’s company of 5) saying i haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. hahaha same dude same. when the guy was spying, jung man-bok, and trying to keep up with the drama plot. hahaha

i loved when the ladies tried to see her and she made him act all sweet walking him out the door.

he said all nice things to the plant!!!

ep 5-6. his relationship with his fiancé is soooo weird. and her family must be super high up in north korea. same to his family though. his mom has an ostrich in her yard!!! i love how they got stuck on the train on their journey to pyeongyang. i love how he jumps to his feet to get her anything she wants. they’re precious together. i’m excited to see where it takes us bc now that the man on the run knows that she is there, there is leverage. he was the first guy she waited for TT. i’m really enjoying the little tidbit scenes at the ending.

he’s gonna keep a photo of her even though he said it was silly to get a momento. the clarification between destiny and coincidence.

ri jeong-hyeok do you want to be my destiny. ‘as long as you stay in my sight you’ll be safe, as long as she is in my sight i will protect her.’

ep 7-8. her character growth since meeting him is extensive and i love to see this side of her not as callused and closed off but rather vulnerable.

‘so happens that you’ve become a special person to me

for once i had to protect you too.’

the heart on his uniform she stitched up.

it’s his brothers song. TT

him going to find her bc she might have been waiting in him. he’s not wrong. and her being concerned with him not being in the hospital bc of his injuries.

your life here might be shattered bc of me.

and i don’t like that.

she’s gets kidnapped. after all this. she even decorated a christmas tree and got him a gift.

held my breath for a solid minute after that gunshot.

ep 9-10. yes his freaking dad in these moments where i’m crying just provides the perfect comedic relief bc he can’t freaking believe what’s happening in front of him. “you make my heart flutter. the other dude.” even when you didn’t know it you saved my life. when he played the song for the first and last time for his brother.

how would i forget about a woman who feel from the sky? -jeong-hyeok

i didnt fall. i descended. -se ri

she freaking wrote i love you with the books.

his brother was such a good person and got the medicine for his friends baby.

when they had to say goodbye to each other. and when their eyes met once again.

ep 11-12. this episode. i loved seeing how the comrades reacted to the daily living of those in seoul. they were too precious. absolutely terrifying that cheol-gang made his way into a security. like what kind of background check did they get?!? like. come on.  

cannot believe that jeong-hyeok found her in an echoing parking garage. it’s destiny.

seo dan got the term ‘sweetmeat’ from seri stop it!!

all of the almost encounters had me dying, while the boys were trying to track down captain ri. the gaming to ignoring the call for chicken.

they wanted to recruit kwang-beom for an agency. they’re like your cover was blown bro.

talking about a future when he didn’t go back. married with twins. and he’ll play piano again.

them dresses as south koreans got me like. my goodness. they’re too much. them all hugging was beautiful. he missed them all so much.

her mother left her at the beach. like what the even. her sister in law gave him her address what the even, this side of her family is wack.

they surprised her for her birthday. my goodness. this moment i’m weeping then it’s like dang that would have been cute.

i’ll be thankful the person i love is still breathing.

and it will be a good year.

-ri jeong hyeok

ep 13-14. the couple rings.

our boys. slaying it. my gosh. when they’re all surrounding her after she was shot. and crying my heart broke.

i never played the piano. and i’ve never told anyone. until you crash landed into my word one day. that’s how i lived. but now i’ved changed. even if i have to worry about losing you, i want to have you in my life. even if it breaks my heart bc it’s a dream that can’t come true, i’d like to sincerely dream of a future. so please live. and listen to my words i still have stories that i haven’t told you yet. -ri jeong-hyeok

when she finally woke up and he ran in. the fact that the mole wire tapped the room while she was unconscious. and then the tape of her mom telling her and wanting to thank seri and ask for forgiveness, and also the fact that her oppa and sister in law wanted her gone...wack.

when he was showing her his scars and the boys walked in and thought something scandalous was up, i died laughing.

i love them together. “they’re curious about your face. i understand bc you look great from the back.” -seri with regards to the paparazzi posting a photo of him online.

the split second after cheol-gang died and ri jeong-hyeok contemplated ending his life, because he didnt know what would happen when he went back to north korea.

while seung-jung was hiding in the market after he ran away from his captors, and the orphans collectively sang that sad song to distract the officers and protect him.

when seung-jung gave seo dan the ring that she picked up from the store so he could give it to seri who gave it to the pawn shop, and he picked it back up and proposed to seo dan. i weeped, because why does this have to be so hard.

when the NIS was collecting data on the ‘spies’: purchases at internet cafe, downloading videos of his favorite drama star, chicken restaurant, etc.  i can’t.

him deciding to go protect her even though he missed his chance of leaving the north with his life. and that she would be the one crying for him once he died made him sad and happy.

seri would make the same decision again. to meet the people and keep the experiences she had. “the wind blows to move in, not to stay.”

the exchange at the boarder was all too much. they all had to say goodbye so quickly.

ep 15-16. her family is wack. thank goodness seodan was able to get her revenge and get all the information from the chinese gang to turn over her older brother.

he wrote her back in the bookshelf. and is sending her notes after he’s gone. her breakdown in the kitchen when she saw all that he left for her. and receipts.

them going for walks at the same time of day to have a shared moment.

all of captain ri’s men reminiscing of the good things seoul had. internet. electricity.

i love that seri made a limited edition product to pay tribute to the ladies that helped her in the north.

he got her a freaking plant. i can’t. she is carrying for the plant like a baby and taking it around with her. got to say nice things to it. i knew it the last thing she said was rihoseok. (honestly wanted it to be a tomato plant)

“season changed but messages kept coming.” i really love this.

“it was eldewiss let’s meet in the country where these flowers bloom.” tell me they meet. please. oh please.

when ri jeong-hyeok broke the news that he was moving on to become a pianist and that the new captain is not a handsome man. the ladies of the village faces just dropped. i can’t.

“he found me every time. and i’m sure he’ll find me again someday.” -seri

“edelweiss symbolizes precious memories. what should i do jeonghyeok? it’s impossible for me to herons your just as a memory. so even if we don’t meet this year, maybe next year. if that doesn’t work too, i’ll anticipate the year after that. until the day you find me i’ll be waiting and praying.” -seri

stop it she is going to go paragliding and meet him again. come on.

eun-dong saying he misses his sister. i love them.

most wonderful two weeks of the year. stop it they have a house together in switzerland. and they are living happily ever after.

i really don’t want it to end...

[chxrimoya]

im just posting this here so i have it later bc entertaining convo

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like anime.

You: hey whats up

Stranger: Not much, just chilling with my oniichan in my uchi you know?

You: damn wish i had an oniichan

You: im just hitoribocchi rn

Stranger: Yeah it's pretty easy to get when you are a kamisama like me you know?

Stranger: I am just a full on ikemen

Stranger: Got a harem

You: damn kamisama

You: gotta have a favorite tho right

Stranger: Of course

Stranger: Always the osananajimi

Stranger: Gotta respect the firsts

You: osananajimi always the best

You: maybe jus a little bit on tsun tsun, yknow

Stranger: Bro you understand me from my toes to my atama rn

Stranger: I like the kawaii girls that got the tsun tsun

You: damn bro im glad we could tsunagaru like this

Stranger: Bokumo I think this is a tokubestu connection

You: an honor for me to be nakama with kamisama

Stranger: I am laughing so hard rn I cant believe this is still going. Like majide??

You: sou, maji da yo

Stranger: Sounds like you study your nihongo all Majime and stuff

You: am i just gonna descend into full japanese

You: likewise my bro

Stranger: I think so my nakama

Stranger: Gotta go zenbu nihongo

You: it started as shuumi but now i have degree so

You: saikou no weeb da yo

Stranger: Oh I see bokumo started when I was a koukousei

You: i was only hontou majime when i was daigakusei

Stranger: Then I did it in Uni with a major in film minor in nihongo

Stranger: Okok

Stranger: 分かったwww

You: respect for my nakama to follow their dreams in kokosei

You: 草

You: i'm afraid i'm ちょっと下手 now from lack of use w

Stranger: これは最初に冗談だけど、ほんとに分かったwww

Stranger: Daijyoubu. I am the same

You: 感じ嫁できないｗ

You: i am a Fool in Man's Shoes

Stranger: Got my degree 3 years ago and habent studied since

You: what a fuckin mood

You: my usage is all in media consumption and music, honestly

Stranger: Okay kanjiless こらはさいしょにじょうだんだけど、ほんとにわかった

You: but i barely speak it lmao

Stranger: I see same

Stranger: I have no one to speak to

Stranger: Do you play games?

You: あぁそう、私も

Stranger: We could speak to each other! I was supposed to be sleeping so this must be fate

You: は～い

Stranger: Stay night

Stranger: If you know whatimean

You: I AM ZA BONE OBU MY SOARD

Stranger: What kind of games do you play? Any league or pubg?

You: i took a fat nap earlier so now i cant sleep

You: unmei da yo

Stranger: Hahah

Stranger: Where you from?

You: i quit league a while ago, but i was considering playing again tbh

Stranger: Omg

You: california!

Stranger: We can play together

Stranger: And talk

You: gonna have to catch me up on new meta tho

Stranger: Hey I am driving to LA in 2 hours lol

You: too many new items and changes MonkaS

Stranger: All good I'll nurture you my imouto

Stranger: XP

You: bruh good luck with the traffic lmao

You: only if i get sufficient headpats u_u

Stranger: I wanna die

Stranger: Of course you will! Uwu

Stranger: I always give cute bois headsets uwu

You: bro gimmie ya discord

Stranger: What's your discord?

You: ... bro

You: HAHA

You: eurae#9474

Stranger: We are on the same wavelength

You: icon should be of a nekomimi girl bc... im weak

Stranger: Added

Stranger: I think mine is a nekomimi boy so...

You: how can you be my kouhai if you're gonna be my oniichan :thinking:

Stranger: Shhhh

Stranger: Let it happen

You: so why you headed to LA anyway? work? o:

Stranger: Let this 23 yo onichan teach you the ways on how to be a bronze player in league of legends

You: bro we are the same age

Stranger: Work! I film!

Stranger: I am in Arizona rn

You: oh wow! do you travel a lot for work? o:

Stranger: From Canada tho! Going back tomorrow evening to the great white north!

Stranger: Here and there ^^

Stranger: I make the usual.

You: it's too hot here anyway q_q

Stranger: Wedding videos, music videos, commercials, porn

You: socal born and raised, still cant stand the heat

Stranger: Wait forget the last one

You: hey man why should i judge

Stranger: Which city?

You: how did our conversation start HAHA

Stranger: Haha just being silly xP

You: alhambra! it's about 30 mins out from LA

Stranger: Idk but it was amazing

Stranger: And it was fate legit

You: best laugh i've had in a while

Stranger: I was gonna sleep

You: honestly

Stranger: Before I clicked

Stranger: Then for some reason I didn't

Stranger: Idk shy

You: honestly i was about to close omegle because i kept getting kik bots

Stranger: Right????

Stranger: My god

You: "M 17 and horny" boy you are a MINOR

Stranger: The tag japanese is ONLY BOTS

Stranger: That's the one!!!

Stranger: Looking for weeb gf??

You: chris hansen? hello?

You: YEAH

You: almost got fuckin whiplash

Stranger: Omg

You: LOL

Stranger: Get Christmas on the line

You: konnichiwa keisatsu desuka?

Stranger: So you are Male too right just wondering?

Stranger: Loooool

You: 女だよ

Stranger: へええ まじで

You: そうよ！変かなぁ？ｗｗ

You: girls dont exist on the internet right lmao

Stranger: Well in that case *flexes arms* I hope you know I am at the top of my class. I main Vayne. Hit silver 3 last season yeah I am a total stud

Stranger: Hahaha right??? I play with a few actually and it is toooo funny when we play league with randoms xD

You: bro i can be your support and get mad when i flash+all in and die bc no one else followed up

Stranger: Hontoni omoshiroi

You: or jungle and feed

Stranger: Looo

Stranger: All seriousness

Stranger: I dont main Vayne anymore lol

You: it's been an age man, i played season 3-4

Stranger: I main twitch hit plat this season and also play a bit of top. I would love to play with you though! <3

Stranger: Damnnnnn I started in s5 lol

Stranger: What do you play nowadays?

Stranger: What are your hobbies?

You: my high school was chock full of league peeps man, i just got pulled in around then

Stranger: Same but I have a story about that hH

You: i draw? and for games, I lean pretty heavily into strategy/jrpg

You: i... quit league cause i got to be a picturesque toxic league player >____>

Stranger: I have too much I wanna talk about and I gotta sleep hehe I wont be home till late so talk to you day after? If you have tele you can text me there too uwu

You: oh yeah!! :3 we can trade numbers later!

Stranger: Ooh I would love to see your drawings and being toxic is bad! XP

You: wouldn't want you to die on yr 2 hr drive at 5mi/hr

You: LOL

Stranger: HahH

Stranger: Do you have telegram?

You: i don't! is that like a texting app? o:

Stranger: Mhmm! With loooooots of cute stickers!

You: s...stickers

Stranger: Mostly furries use it but it has cute anime ones too

You: i tried to use line for a while because of the stickers (poptepipic what's gud) but no one else used it qq

Stranger: Yeah! Just download it and I'll teach you!

You: guess it's time to make a fursona!

You: LOL

Stranger: I used line when I lived in Japan haha

You: o: you lived in japan omg

Stranger: Yup guess so! XD everyone has one nowadays! :p

Stranger: Download it and let me know wha TV your @ is and I'll add you!

Stranger: What your* not tv looool

Stranger: I did yeah for a year

You: does it go by name?

You: ... "tams loves catgirls"

Stranger: My tele is @imyourkohai

Stranger: If you go to send a message you can put that in and message me

Stranger: Lol yes that is right hahah

You: haha okay, i should let you get to sleep!!

Stranger: Okay!!!

You: do you have a call time or anything? o:

Stranger: Nini

Stranger: Nah just a meeting all g :3

You: okay!! haha oyasumi~ we'll talk more tmr :3

Stranger: Ouasumiii

Stranger has disconnected.

[c-you-on-the-otherside]

05/17/18

The past few weeks or so, I’ve been thinking a lot what my next move should be. What I find to be helpful in my life, is if I don’t like my current situation, I start looking for what’s next and what’s better.  This helps me to always keep moving forward, to always keep striving, and to keep me away from the negative thoughts of a current situation I dislike. So I’ve thought a lot lately about what’s after Hawaii, since I don’t particularly like it here. In my mind I had a few options. 

1.) I can really get shit done and focus on studying for my California Fluoro test so I can complete my California License and work in California as a traveler after this assignment.  2.) I could head back home to the east coast,be closer to all my awesome friends,  get an apartment in Boston with  someone I know, and use this time to settle into a good paying job in Boston while also going back to school for MRI. Part of this motive too would be so I am around resources and support groups that would allow me to begin my transition if I wanted to.  OR

3.) I could buy a house in Portland/Seattle, start a brand new life, work for Kaiser (because of their awesome health insurance benefits) and focus on being myself with possibility of establishing care and beginning my transition. 

Now all three options were very appealing to me. It’s almost as if, looking at them at face value, I wanted them all just as bad equally.  So I took a few days to break these down in my head and to really see what was going on in my mind.  I asked the universe for some guidance, and 2 days ago, I found myself watching a live video feed of one of my favorite trans guys I follow on instagram. This dude is awesome (palmer_fivevi) He is so real and he has a beautiful family: a beautiful girlfriend, and a beautiful daughter. And he is just spiritual, in everything he does, and everything he posts. I love following his journey. Because of him and his girlfriend, I got into Tarot, because I was intrigued by the way they live their lives, so beautiful and spiritually driven. Anyway, I’ve tried to message him a few times just asking for advice and trying to explain the point I was at in my life being pre-t, but it never got anywhere. He never responded to my messages and instead of taking offense to this, I just figured he is a man who leads his life effortlessly, and doesn’t have time to constantly respond to tons of messages he gets on the daily.  What I started doing though, is interacting with him and his family anytime they’d go on live chats, and I’d ask questions there and that way it actually ended up meaning more and being more intimate because they were personally answering my questions and I got to see their emotions. So 2 days ago, they went on live and I watched them for a good 40 minutes.  I asked a few questions about his life, like how they explain Emerson being trans to their daughter, and if he was already transitioned when he met Blue (his gf), how they met, and when Emerson started testosterone.  I remember a post where he explained that he started it later than most, and in his post he explained how this was his own personal preference and how he just wanted to be sure....how he followed the signs of the universe and did what he needed to do.  After this specific post is actually one of the times I tried reaching out, because I related to that a lot.  I think a lot of people are rushing into transitioning without actually thinking of all the factors, and I am not that person. It’s hard for me to relate with the trans guys who just jump in and do it, because I’m not that guy. I love my life in a very careful way, always turning the globe to look for different angles and perspectives and transitioning is absolutely no exception to how I live my life.  He never responded to that message, but I’ve always wanted to know his thought process a little more in depth. I’ve asked for my own guidance from the universe recently and Believe this was it’s answer. In the live chat, I asked him why he decided to transition so late and if he regretted it.  He responded saying that he’s been growing all his life, and he doesn’t regret one second of it. He wanted to be sure and so he took the time he needed to. I went on to say that I was pre-t and navigating this life of wanting to transition but not being sure. I told him I was 25 and felt like I was running out of time but how I also didn’t feel fully ready. Him and his gf came back with the most beautiful response. They told me that throughout life, we all transition. Every single point of your life is  transitional era, and regardless if you’re in a physical transition or not,everyone faces transitions. They told me to embrace the transition that’s happening now, because the pre-t phase is important mentally and is something to embrace and appreciate. They told me not to forget the small moments, like when someone first used he/him or used the name I have chosen for myself, and to absolutely not rush into it.  Everything they said was so beautifully worded and gave me the hope I needed and the tools I needed to find the answers I’ve been trying to find. I felt pulled to Boston bc I miss my friends and family and felt like I needed to start transitioning. But Boston will still be there, my friends and family will still be there, and transitioning can happen wherever I want it to and whenever I want it to. Theres no rush. This lead me to opening my eyes and seeing that I was trying to rush, and I was trying to become myself faster but the thing is I already am MYSELF. I already KNOW who I am, and if I have to live just a little longer in the wrong body, then I think I can manage because I’ve done just fine for 25 years. Putting my dreams on hold just to make a physical transition happen is kinda silly. I have plenty of years to look myself, but I won’t always get the chance to travel the way I am. So after that conversation, I quickly refocused my sights on California. I’ve set out to find this place for a long time and to end up there. I don’t know what my huge pull in towards that state, but something in my soul tells me that there is something great waiting for me out there, and I have to go out there and catch it. I’ve tried thinking about why I’ve also let so many distractions come in between me and seriously insane attraction to Cali, and all I can think of is that there is something great out there for me, something life changing, something that I wouldn’t have been ready for had I met it prematurely in the beginning of my travels. I’ve travelled for a year and I’m gearing up to settle down, so my next stop is Cali, and whatever that brings to the table, I think, will be something so special and exciting and I can’t wait to know what that is. After Cali, if I still want to settle in Portland/Seattle or Boston, than I totally can. This life isn’t a race and there is plenty of time to do all the things I want to do. For now, I need to focus on being my truest self that I can be, and continue doing the work I need to do to better myself and reach for the goals I’ve set out to accomplish. Life is truly a beautiful journey and I am so lucky to be living it...to have the opportunities I have, the ambition, the drive, and the never ending fight to keep on going. Keep on keeping on my friends. This life will test you and push you to your limits, but know that you’re the warrior in your own story. Stay strong.

[talesfromacrip]

more ehh thoughts (recent edition):

w o w

can’t even speak my damn mind anymore in this house I guess without getting the whole, ‘get out then if you don’t like it here. look for a section 8 place and blah, blahhhh’ speech.

the signature speech of my parents when I get on their ‘last nerves’..

all just for speaking my mind. lovely

all bc I said something in regards to something political my dad was talking about. then saying black lives matter after bc it was also apart of the conversation

(which is my opinion)

that word doesn’t sit well in my parents ears.. my dad to be specific apparently.

he then started saying I should just look for somewhere else to go and that if I say that again, something will happen. (not anything violent on me,but make me leave to somewhere else type of happen )

guess my parents (specifically my dad) wants me dead if he wants me to go out and find somewhere else to go. it’s not like, idk, i have a fucking immunocompromised system or anything like that ya know?? also.... during a fucking pandemic as well ?? helllloooo, old man?? i just don’t know anymore sometimes with my parents

caught me off guard a bit and hurt really fucking bad.. like, wow. if that’s how you feel, then let me go which you won’t and won’t admit.

used to it though which is silly to say, but I can’t do anything much about it even if i tried. so, I must deal for now anyway I can.

we settled our differences though which, I’m glad, but I hate that I was the first one to do it. shows how it is in my family at times

-

at least my mom and few friends are on my side. ridiculous to be treated like this for having a fucking opinion.  

doesn’t help either to get teased about it. like I haven’t been most of my life already ya know, shit.

sick of this house sometimes. the people in it, I should say.. sigh

———

———

I feel like I’m not, as ‘feminine’ as a lady should be. adds to my existing body probsss

can’t put makeup on. can’t get my nails done. can’t use bath bombs. can’t use facial creams or certain acne products. can’t buy clothes I’d like to shape my body and whatnot.. it goes onnnn. I would like to do what a lady likes to feel/look her absolute best ya know.

I can’t though. trying?????which doesn���t really go anywhere much tbh

I have an unused makeup palette and lippies going to absolute waste in my drawer.

which, cost me gooood money bc gooood brand. treat myself.

to see it go to waste though,is heartbreaking...

I could be using it now during the pandemic,but I have no one to help me with it. I can’t do it myself with my fucked up arms/hands either so that’s a nope.

my mom won’t help me and I’ve asked. she has more important things to do than make me look like a little clowns spawn.

I have so many ideas and I can’t execute them as I’d like. never can and it hurts. maybe on a drawimg, but having it applied to your face is a much better experience. very relaxing as well,but to take off.. that’s a process

doesn’t help that I’m told I’d look better with it as well, which totally helps my self esteem ya know. "it suits your moon face and covers those acne bits.."

fucking hell.. like, let me be.

guess not though it seems :lllllll

-

I feel gross about my skin.. dry and flaky at times from my medication and bc my body is a lil ass. it’s fucking oily on occasions as well.. ughhh. a whole nightmare, in my opinion

small acne scars,pimples from an imbalanced body in miscellaneous spots and places where they shouldn’t be.. I hate it.

I cannot look at myself without wanting to scream sometimes. I just stare and flip through a plethora of thoughts until I’m sitting there watching myself cry

I can’t buy the right skin products without suffering a break out or some kind of allergic reaction either. that’s how ‘sensitive’ i am.. ughh and people think it’s sooo fucking easy to take care of your skin.

help me out then and do it for me instead of telling me when I’ve said why I couldn’t in the first place..

fucking shit

-

I use to do my nails and paint them different colors almost every other week or so when I was younger. that was when I could move them to a certain extent. now i just can’t much for that. maybe?but I don’t want to risk twisting my wrist again. which, oddly helped a bit, but I’m not risking it

can’t even paint my right hand without leaning into a terrible spine position bc of my curled in fingers. it’s "so easy" though.my big ass it is

so, I just leave them bare nowadays

I have chipped and or broken nails anyway from fidgeting and anxiety. so, that’ll get in the way when they’re colored

sigh

-

bath bombs are the most elegant form of hygienic self care. a bubbly concoction for your skin to dip in.. ughhhh. sounds so relaxing and funnn

can’t sit in a fucking tub though to enjoy it and I don’t have the walk in ones. just a plain walk in shower. every time I see someone post about them, I melt inside. so pretty with the glitter fragments and the colorsss...mm

how I wish I could endure a porcelain tub to soak and forget about the world for a moment.

I can dream, but that still hurts as well.

-

I used to wear slim fitting tops for my stomach bc I was one of the chubby ones ya know.

now, I want to use them more bc my body doesn’t look how I thought it would be at my age. due to medication and lack of movement, just made it worse and it’s not my fault. feels like it is though and I tried. still am and it’s been hard lately with the pandemic. massive buying spells again so, some healthy goods are not available.

apparently though it seems nowadays being ‘thicc’ is in when years before it was absolutely frowned upon.

I got teased for being ‘thicc’ and now I’m somewhat getting praised for it?? kinda weird circus did I buy tickets for? unless I didn’t??

like, what do y’all mean, now it’s in????? stop being such a rude wad of shit and quit playing with people like this.

I don’t know what to accept much anymore and it’s bothers me so damn much

even if you do get praised,you must meet the standards. with some that is, I should say. must be at least some sort of skinny. some sort of, shaped being that I don’t really want to explain bc I feel it’s obvious.

some disabled folks are almost never in this section and when so, seems very fetishized.

hopefully this paints a small picture or whatever size you prefer your canvas to be. I’ve already talked about my body and more like this just gets me upset

———

———

uggh why are people still making stupid party plans, going to crowded places and doing other irresponsible shit... during a fucking pandemic?? It’s literally s o fucking irritating.

these people do not grasp this it seems, but ooooooohhh. gotta go out and risk it for someone who doesn’t even care about my health,others and even themselves.

fucking dumb

-

funny to see them complain about being home and all bc of this. like, how do you think I’ve felt and countless other disabled folks like me? sucks h u h. no freedom to go anywhere for risk of a fucking accident or worse, d e a t h.

it’s easy as hell to stay home and keep yourself occupied but apparently it’s a big ass deal

read, write, draw, cook, c l e a n. go out in your, idk, backyard as your outside relief?? is it really that b a d of a need to go somewhere??

especially when eventually it’ll drain you and you’ll eventually go back h o m e anyway ??t’s ridiculous.

"you should be thankful you can even go out."

yeah, to appointments, groceries, and concerts o n l y.

I don’t have the fucking privilege to go out at my own leisure and when I do, I have to plan like a mf.

it’s not easy. can’t drive. van is always busting on us. parents are my only source of a ride. can’t even generally go out anywhere bc of stupid stairs and all that.

I swear. every time I see a friend, mutual or family put something like that.. irritates me. I wanna comment so bad,but I don’t want to start anymore drama.

maybe soon I will. who fucking knows

———

———

i miss shows and all, but I just don’t as much.

I’m paranoid to think of going to future ones now..

I’ve already missed a majority of concerts my whole childhood and teen years due to my disability.

I don’t want to miss out on my young adult life now that I’m somewhat in a ‘better state’ bc some of y’all don’t want to be cautious and follow rules.

shows are therapeutic for me, but idk anymore now if it’s makimg me like this

disabled folks like myself who enjoy these shows are in so much fucking danger, it’s ridiculous.

we already were anyways with moshing and all.. which I know some act like they don’t know.

y’all are so desperate to go like, what about the other fandom folks who can’t even attend these shows though?? sad

these lives performances some artists have been doing are perfect and we need to support them more with this format. encourage the fuck out of them like the do to us with their music and whatnot.

I was so fucking thankful DGD did one.

it was a great time, but not so great when everyone is like, but what about an ‘actual show’?

it’s just, never enough with some of the fans I swear. irritating

yeahhh ,lets risk the fuckin band/bands getting sick so they can play for us. yasssss. shows how much they read up on the members and care about their health/wellbeing.

———

———

being sober brings back a lot of suppressed memories. nights are bit hard when going through this

makes me remember quite a bit of conversations that others have probably or most likely have forgotten by now as well

irritating and sad. that’s how I get some of my dreams as well which cause lack of sleep at timessss y a y

———

———

I, over share too much at times it seems.. how the hell do people want to know me though????

if I’m making the situation, odd or whatever, fucking tell me instead of ignoring it and trying to move on with some stupid shit

if I can fucking sit through y’alls oversharing.. can with fucking mine

———

———

I hate how everything that’s so wholesome and genuine I see, I can barely even do and say..

I especially hate how I imagine it with someone who deserves better. this is wearing me out I swear to fucking god

I put some of my eggs in the wrong basket.. again

ohhh fucking boooyyy

least it’s a good basket..

———

sometimes I feel so uneducated when taking with friends. my mind is like a fucking mad libs book on new game plus.

it’s blanks out and replaces important vocabulary with some silly childish shit instead

[ticklygiggles]

With it. With this. With you

A/N: Hello! I just want to apologize for that post I made this Sunday when I was drunk;;; if you didn’t see it (bc I deleted it), I am glad! Anyways, @a-flustered-paint-appeared thank you so much for this prompt! I’m sorry it took me sooo long. I hope you really really like it and enjoy it! 💕

Words: 3,934 (I am so sorry, I got a bit excited u,u. Under the cut, of course)

It was not a secret that Atsushi and Akutagawa were dating. The armed agency new, the port mafia knew and certain suicidal guy was always making sure to let everyone know in case they didn’t.

It was not a secret either that Nakajima Atsushi was the one that spoke up his feelings first, (Dazai made sure to let everyone know that, aswell); it was almost unbelievable, though, Atsushi was usually very squeaky and shy, but he managed to tell Akutagawa how he felt, and was quite amazed when Akutagawa, (in his own way of curse), told him that he felt the exact way.

They can be seen together on days off and weekends and Atsushi is always the one starting the affection: holding hands, kissing his lover’s forehead and even whispering a soft ‘I love you’ to Akutagawa, making him blush a few shades of red.

It was adorable, really. But it was still unbelievable watching Atsushi being so affectionate towards Akutagawa in the most comfortable way. Dazai was very flustered himself at Atsushi’s answer when he finally asked him why he wasn’t embarrassed of showing up their relationship:

“How can i be embarrased of showing affection to the person I love, Dazai-san?”, Atsushi asked him back, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. “If you hate someone you show it: by words or fights or punches, so why can’t we show love too? We’re not being vulgar, after all”

Later when Atsushi told this to Akutagawa the latter was thankful he wasn’t there when that happened. Atsushi was the one on charge to start the cuddling and stuff… Akutagawa was the one on charge to blush for the both of them.

Atsushi just finds endearing how easily Akutagawa gets flustered. He could just call him ‘love’ for all that matter and Akutagawa would blush out of this world…

… It was one of Atsushi’s favorite things.

“Ryu,” Atsushi says, entering his bedroom to find Akutagawa laying down, reading a book.

“Yes?”, he looks up and the first thing he sees is Atsushi’s bright smile, making his head spin a little. “What do you need?”

“We need to buy groceries”, Atsushi says, lifting a little notepad where he had wrote down a list with the things they needed. Atsushi takes out a pen from his back pocket and scribbles down a few more things. “Do you need something? Let’s put it on the list now before we forget”

“Erm… t-”

“I already have the tea anoted”

“Then some-”

“And figs”, Atsushi smiled after checking the list once again. “Anything else?”

Akutagawa shakes his head. “I think that’s all”

“Great, let’s go”. Atsushi tears up the page from the notepad and saves it along with the pen on his back pocket.

He pats his side pocket, making sure his little coin bag is there and, when Akutagawa is by his side, he immediately grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“What-”, Akutagawa flinches, his cheeks quickly covering with a scarlet hue as he looks at Atsushi with wide eyes.

“What? Are you uncomfortable?”, Atsushi asks, furrowing his eyebrows and starting to unlock his fingers from Akutagawa’s.

“No! N-no!”, Akutagawa says, squeezing Atsushi’s hands. “Just- just let’s go”, he drags Atsushi out of his apartment, totally ignoring the tiny giggles he heard behind him.

***

They walk side by side down town. Atsushi blabbering about something silly Dazai did and Akutagawa turning redder as people kept sending a few glances on their way. He felt sweat falling down the back of his neck.

Let’s be real, he was enjoying holding hands with Atsushi, but he was so embarrassed, he thought he could possibly combust in the spot.

“Hey, Ryu?”, Atsushi asks, leaning in to look at Akutagawa’s face.

“Y-yeah?”

“Why do you always get so nervous?”, he asks straigh out as the electric doors slide open and they get inside the market. “When I hug you or kiss you or hold your hand, you always blush a lot”, Atsushi lets go of Akutagawa’s hand to grab a basket. “Just like now”, he says, poking Akutagawa’s cheek before lending him the list and the pen.

“I’m- I’m not used”, Atsushi hums, checking the fruit section, looking for the best figs for Akutagawa.

“Not used to what?”, Atsuhi asks, placing the bag of figs into the basket hanging on his arm. “Can you tell me what’s next?”

“You know… being touched. Kissed. Cuddled and all of that- Ah, sure. It’s carrots”, Atsushi mumbled a soft thank you as he started to look for the most fresh carrots. “So I can’t help to feel… flustered”, Atsushi nodded, stretching to reach for a very orange carrot that Akutagawa easily took for him.

“Ah thank you!”, he took it inside the plastic bag. “Well… that’s exactly why I do it. To make you feel comfortable. I’m not used to it either, however, I feel like I should show you how much I love you by touching you or kiss you”, Atsushi finally turned to look at Akutagawa, a hand on his waist.

“I want you to be greedy with me, Akutagawa. If you want me to kiss you, say it. If you want me to hug you then I’ll do it”, Atsushi smiles warmly up at him. “I can’t ask you to do the same to me if you don’t feel comfortable enough, but it’s nice when you’re sleepy and kiss my forehead or when we sit down to watch a movie and you brush your fingers against mine. Feeling you warmth against me makes me feel in peace…”

“Oh, excuse me, young men. I’ll just want to grab some apples over there”. Atsushi and Akutagawa hurriedly moved away.

“Oh sure. So sorry”, Atsushi said as Akutagawa bowed a little. “… It makes me feel less uneasy about my past and my insecurities. You give me security, Akutagawa. You give me strength”, Atsushi giggled, his words only increasing the color on Akutagawa’s cheeks. “But I guess we’ll just have to find a way to make you feel a bit less flustered, don’t you think?”

Akutagawa quirked an eyebrow. “A way?”

“Mhm, a way”, Atsushi hums and tiptoes to see the list. “Ryu, if you’re not gonna help then give me the list”, Atsushi pouts and Akutagawa can’t help but chuckle.

“Sorry, I’ll do help you. The next thing is tea”, Atsushi nodded and leaving a quick kiss on Akutagawa’s cheek, he made his way to look for the tea boxes.

Akutagawa right behind him, like a little puppy. They would talk a bit here and there, saying things that made the other laugh or talking about missions they recently got. Akutagawa would tell Atsushi what was next on the list and Atsushi would just grab it and place it into the basket.

“You’re too short”, Akutagawa snickered seeing Atsushi literally sweating as he reaches up for a can. Atsushi buffed.

“Come and laugh at me in my face!“, Atsushi snarks and Akutagawa just shakes his head a little. “Instead of laughing, why don’t you help your poor boyfriend?”, Atsushi pouts

“What? Where is he? I don’t see him anywhere?” Atsushi puffs, an angry (yet very cute), expression taking on his features.

“Very funny”, he says and reaches for Akutagawa’s side, giving him a squeeze near his ribs, Akutagawa squeaks and jolts away from the touch… much to Atsushi’s surprise. “Oh?”, he raises his eyebrows, a smug grin stretching his lips.

“Oh, nothing!”, Akutagawa squeaks. “Move. I’m gonna help my stupid-short boyfriend”, Atsushi looked over the apples in the basket and then at Akutagawa’s face… he should use Akutagawa for color reference next time they get apples.

Akutagawa softly pushed Atsushi to the side and even he had to tiptoe, reaching up for the damn can. His fingers brushed it, and he even stuck his tongue out in concentration when he touched the edge of the can, almost. Until he felt Atsushi teasing his exposed side, again. He didn’t have time to cover up the squeaky giggle he was forced to let out.

Contracting his arm and clamping it to his side, he turned over Atsushi, covering his mouth with his other hand, eyes wide open and face bright red. Atsushi’s face was the representation of “surprise”, really. He let out a silly giggle.

“Oh my, that made you blush faster than a kiss!”, Akutagawa flinched and looked around, silently thanking that the market was kinda empty that day.

“Can you- can you stop doing that?!”

“Why?”, Atsushi grins and pokes Akutagawa’s belly.

“A-Ahahatsushi!”, Akutagawa tries to hide his smile. “I’m s-serious!”, Atsushi just hummed and reached up to scratch under Akutagawa’s chin, the latter giggled, throwing his head back away from Atsushi’s fingers.

Atsushi quirked an eyebrow, Akutagawa was, indeed, very red. Like very red: his face, ears and what was visible of his neck with that goat of his, but, besides of jolting and flinching away from the light touches… he’s not exactly doing anything to stop Atsushi.

He was strong and Atsushi knew it since he had found two or three bruises here and there after having a playful wresting with Akutagawa, so he definately could stop him if he wanted, but… maybe he didn’t want to…

“Wait”, Atsushi says, his fingers lingering on Akutagawa’s side, squeezing him there and making him giggle like a child. “You like this?”

“N-no! Thihihis is not-”

“I think we found a way to stop you from blushing too much~”

“Atsushi I don’t-”

“Anyways, let’s keep going with the list, we still have a lot of things to take!”, Atsushi marched to the next aisle and Akutagawa just looked at him curiously as he waited a little, fanning his hot face with the list in his hand before following his lover.

“Can you reach that for me?”, Atsushi pointed to a cereal in the top shelf.

“No”

“C'mon! It’s my favorite and I can’t reach it!”, it was, in fact his favorite and he was, in fact, too short to reach it. “Please?”

Akutagawa growled. “Just… don’t do anything smart”

“What? How am I supposed to not do something smart? Everything I do is smart!”, Akutagawa narrowed his eyes and Atsushi smiled.

“You know what I mean”.

“Just hurry up!”, Akutagawa sighed and very slowly, he stretched for the cereal.

“Are you scared I’m going to tickle you?”, Atsushi’s hot breath against his ear made him squeak and rub his ear against his shoulder. “Hey, you haven’t given me my cereal!”

“Don’t-”

“Don’t what? Don’t tease you?”, Atsushi smirks. “Don’t tell you how bad I’m gonna get you when we get back home?”, Akutagawa gasped and looking to his side he saw a few people around them, some of them sending glares, some others looking preoccupied, mostly because the color on Akutagawa’s face didn’t look healthy at all. “What’s the matter, Ryu? Are you scared I’m going to noticed how much you enjoy getting tickled?”

Akutagawa stuttered, before surrendering and finally taking the cereal and throwing it into the basket hanging on Atsushi’s arm. He tried to ignore that smirk on his lover’s face.

Atsushi giggled. “Hmmm, you better keep down that blush of you”, he grabbed some strawberry jam. “People are going to ask if you’re alright, and what will you tell them?”, Atsushi tiptoed and kissed Akutagawa’s cheek and mumbled over his skin. “'I’m sorry, my boyfriend is teasing me because I like being tickled’?”

Akutagawa visibly shuddered and he literally pressed the piece of paper against his face. “N-next thing is- is milk”, he said guiding the way.

“I wonder where you’re the most tickish”, Atsushi whispered behind Akutagawa. “Maybe on your neck?”, Akutagawa felt the tiny hair on the back I his neck standing up with a shiver. “Or maybe under your arms?”, he pressed his arms against his sides. “Maybe your ribs? There are a lot of ways to tickle those”, Akutagawa wrapped his arm around his ribs.

“Maybe your waist or sides or belly?”, Atsushi grabbed a galon of milk and gave it to Akutagawa. “Can you hold this while I keep guessing? And also, can you tell me what’s next on the list?”, Akutagawa nodded, holding the milk. “Maybe on your hips or thighs?”

“Y-yes”, Akutagawa mumbled.

“Oh?”

“N-no! I mean- uh… what’s next is bread”, Atsushi giggled, making his way towards the next item.

“So hips and thighs or just hips?”, Akutagawa covered a giggle when Atsushi pinched his hipbone. “Or maybe just your thighs?”

Akutagawa skipped a few items that didn’t seem important without Atsushi noticing, his body felt weak and way too tingly. Every sensitive spot felt like vibrating, almost making him chuckle and Atsushi just kept teasing him. Without mercy.

Akutagawa has certainly never been teased this bad, not even from his sister. He wanted to die, but he still found himself enjoying this cat and mouse game more than he thought. Atsushi chasing him with teases and promised tickles when they come back… It was not that bad at all.

“So you enjoy being tickled”, Atsushi asks, one of his hands holding bags and the other Akutagawa’s hand.

“I don’t”, Akutagawa squeaked, his footsteps a bit too quickly as they made their way back home. “Not at all”, Atsushi didn’t fail to notice that excited sparkle on Akutagawa’s eyes.

“You’re adorable”, he giggled. “I can’t belive you actually like being tickled. That’s nice”

“I said I don’t-”

“Where do you like it more?”, Akutagawa flinched.

“I said I don’t-”

“Okay, don’t you worry. We’ll find out once we get back~”, Akutagawa was too surprised when he felt a soft squeeze in his bottom ribs that he couldn’t stop a involuntarily giggle. “And I’ll make sure to stay on your favorite spot until you can’t breath~”, Another squeeze made him jump out of his skin.

“You- you’re gonna make me drop the bags! Stop!”

Atsushi smiled and when he saw the apartment complex he took out the key from Akutagawa’s coat because it was closer to his free hand.

Akutagawa gasped when Atsushi gave him the bags on his hand and he barely had time to catch them before hitting the floor. “Oi! Be care-”

“Shush, I’m trying to open the door”, Atsushi mumbled and he twisted the key and turned the knob.

They were welcomed by Atsushi’s scent. He didn’t notice it because you can’t smell your own scent, but Akutagawa did and he took a deep breath, taking all the fragrance until he felt the sides of his lungs burning.

“Oh yeah”, Atsushi said, closing the door behind him and walking towards the kitchen. “You better fill those lungs with all the air you can because I’m going to tickle you until you can’t breath”, Akutagawa coughed, all the contained air escaping in a awkward snort.

“Can you bring the bags here?”, Atsushi patted the table. “You’ll put the things of the fridge in the fridge and I’ll put the things of the cabinet in the cabinet”

***

Akutagawa was a mess when they finally put everything in place, he sighed in exhaustion and had a little heart attack when he noticed Atsushi wasn’t in the kitchen anymore.

“A-Atsushi?”, no answer. “Atsushi! Are you- in the bathroom?”, despite his words, he peeked into the living room. “Tiger! Where the hell are- Ah!”, Akutagawa let out a bloody shriek.

Atsushi jumped on him, tackling him into the carpeted floor. Akutagawa barely had time to blush before laughter poured out of his mouth as Atsushi nuzzled his face into the crook of Akutagawa’s neck.

“Sh-shihihit! Wait! Wahahait!”, Akutagawa squeaked when Atsushi growled and felt his legs tensing around his hips, holding him tightly.

“No more waiting!”, Atsushi said, raising his face from his lover’s neck. “I think I already gave you a lot of time, Ryu~ . Don’t you think?”

“At-Atsuhi, I said I don’t- don’t- Dohohohon’t!”, Akutagawa squeaked when Atsushi finally descended his fingers into his ribcage. “Fuhuhuck no!”

“Oh my! How did I not know you were this ticklish?”, Akutagawa shakes his head, his hands trying to follow Atsushi’s as they move up and down his ribs. Digging in between each bone and right on top of them.

Akutagawa threw his head back barking a loud laugh when Atsushi changed techniques and decided to rub tickly circles into his lower ribs. Atsushi hit right into a nerve or maybe a muscle or maybe just the very spot where a bunch of ticklish cells were living on his ribs.

Seriously, are there tickle cells on his body? He didn’t know, but Akutagawa was sure as hell that Atsushi was finding all of them and exploding them to no end.

“Plehehease stop!”, Akutagawa cried, his legs kicking behind Atsushi and his hands pushing at Atsushi’s hands… that was a bad decision. “Ack! Nohoho!”, he shriek.

“What? Begging already?”, he hears Atsushi asking, talking a bit louder so he could be heard, especially now that he took advantage of Akutagawa’s exposed underarms to worm his nimble fingers in there. “I should make a mental note of all your tickle spots”, Atsushi says, wiggling his fingers into Akutagawa’s armpits, making him clamp his arms to his sides, trying to block the feeling, but only trapping Atsushi’s fingers.

Akutagawa squirms this way and that, trying to escape his lover’s playful torture as laughter echoes through all the living room. Akutagawa was concerned about the neighbors getting angry.

He did know he was ticklish. His sister usually would pinch his side or poke his ribs every now and then, but he certainly didn’t know he was this ticklish in a lot of spots.

He felt his face scrunching up as the silly sensations keep lighting up his nerves. Atsushi on top of him wasn’t any help, of course. He could hear him laughing along with him, and opening one eye, Akutagawa saw Atsushi’s expression. His face full of determination, yet the brightest smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

He was definately having a good time reducing his boyfriend into a laughing mess, and Akutagawa was certainly enjoying his time being reduced into a laughing mess.

“Shit! Okay Okahahay! Not thehehere!”, Akutagawa shrieked, trying to shoo Atsushi’s hands off his trembling and toned belly. “Plehehease!”

“Oh! Are you ticklish in your tummy?”, Atsushi teases, his fingers clawing at the tummy in question, and even a finger dipping into Akutagawa’s navel, making him shriek with laughter. “Is this a giggle button~?”

Akutagawa’s face was getting red yet again and Atsushi giggled. “This method is not working. You’re flushing again!”

“I’m lahahaughing!”, Akutagawa squeaked out, trying to turn to his right side, letting Atsushi latch his hands right into the curve of his waist and on his hipbone. Akutagawa spasmed like a fish out of water.

“I did notice”, Atsushi giggled, pinching Akutagawa’s waist, making him arch his back. “Is that the reason you’re so red?”, Akutagawa nodded and squeaked when Atsushi retracted his hands, letting him fall into his back again, giggling softly.

“Thank God!”, he gasped, embracing his tingly torso. “Atsushi, I do-don’t think this is gohohoing to work”, Atsushi kissed his nose.

“What is not going to work?”

“The ti-tihihickling! To make me blush less!”, he says, his cheeks tinting even more after saying the word.

“Then what should I do?”, Atsushi asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Stop!”

“Stop what?”, was that a smirk?

“Tickle m- damn you! I hahahate you!”, Akutagawa shrieked, arching his back and throwing his head back when Atsushi started to squeeze the top of his thighs.

“Wow, Ryu. If you liked being tickled that much than you should’ve just asked for it! No need to be shy!”

“Anywhere but thehehere!”, Atsushi gasped.

“Is this your most ticklish spot? Your thighs?”, Atsushi was quick to place himself between Akutagawa’s legs and dig his fingers right into the inner thighs.

“Oh nohoho!”, Akutagawa cackled, His legs wrapping around Atsushi as he blindly tried to push the tickly hands away of his, indeed, most ticklish spot.

“Ryu-kun~ this is such a dirty spot”, Akutagawa blushed without tomorrow at those words and Atsushi giggled like crazy. “I’m joking, it’s a cute spot. I can tickle here when you’re sat, or laying down or-”

“Fucking stahahap!”, Akutagawa cave in, desperate to close his legs as Atsushi just found the right spot that makes Akutagawa want to crawl out of his skin.

“Is it too much?”, Atsushi asks, still squeezing his boyfriend’s inner thighs, a smug smirk on his face. Akutagawa finally gets into a fit of silent laughter, his body shaking as he held his aching tummy with one of his hands, the other covering his eyes. “Say ‘I look like a tomato’ and I’ll stop”

Akutagawa just shook his head, banging the floor a little and squirming weakly. His legs trying to kick away and his back arching almost painfully.

“Okay I think you had enough”, he says, though he doesn’t stop until five seconds later. “I’m exhausted!”

Akutagawa took one good solid minute to come back from that tickle subspace Atsushi threw him in. His burning face was slightly sweaty and he even cleaned up some saliva falling down the corner of his mouth. His belly moving up and down as he tried to fill his lungs with sweet oxygen.

“Did you have fun?”, Atsushi asks, feeling concerned about him getting over excited and upsetting Akutagawa.

“That wahahas horrible!”, he answers. “Next- next tihihime please don’t fucking tickle me there”, he dries up the tears streaming down his face. “It’s awful”, he flushed a bit more seeing Atsushi beaming.

“You liked it!”, he started to squeeze Akutagawa’s thighs again and he laughed as loud as the first time. “You’re adorable!”

“What did I just sa-Ahahaha!”

It didn’t exactly worked out as a blush-relief, actually it caused the opposite effect, but Akutagawa couldn’t blame himself because he was barely able to breath with all of that laughter coming out of him.

But then, suddenly everything stopped again and when Akutagawa opened his teary eyes he slightly flinched noticing Atsushi hovering over his face, a shy smile on his lips and hands at each side of Akutagawa’s head.

“It doesn’t matter if you blush every time we touch”, Atsushi whispered, and Akutagawa held his breath when he started to lean closer until their noses were touching, Atsushi nuzzling his nose into Akutagawa’s. “I just want to know if you’re uncomfortable with it. With this. With me”.

Akutagawa opened his mouth a little, breathing in Atsushi’s words, until they were swirling on his abdomen. They felt like liquid honey warming up his insides.

“I am comfortable with it. With this. With you”, Akutagawa mumbled firmly, his lips brushing with Atsushi’s as they looked at each other.

Their eyes closed at the same time and they both lift their head just a little to meet the other’s lips. Electricity running through their veins as they kiss their mouths away, leaning in closer and closer until their theet are crashing against each other.

“No- bahahastard!”, Akutagawa threw his head back, breaking their kiss, when Atsushi’s sneaky hands found their way back to his inner thighs. “Stohohop it!”

“What? You said you’re okay with this!”, Akutagawa shook his head, a new wave of hysterical cackles ripping through him.

But he was okay with that. As long as it was Atsushi, then he was okay with everything.

“I love you, Ryu~”, a weak nod and another round of silent laughter was his only answer, but Akutagawa was sure Atsushi knew what was that answer.

[tobesoadores]

Wedding in Hawaii || Part 2

hi. well i must say that part 1 went down pretty well, you all seemed to love it which makes me extremely happy! currently i’m working on part 3 and considering that harry styles just rocked up to the airport in a pair of glasses and a shirt that says “women are smarter” i am going to have to write about that too so get seated loves! i hope you’s will enjoy part 2, it’s really really fluffy and you will cry if you are sensitive. even if you aren’t you will shed a tear or two bc harry’s amazing. ok i shall stop rambling. hope you’s enjoy, don’t forget to like and follow and i think there’s an option to turn on my post notifications as well so if you don’t wanna miss out on cute harry stuff i suggest you turn it on 😘 

Part 1 •  Part 3

Wedding Buddies - book based on this series

Masterlist: x

It was around 12 pm when Harry and I finished our time in the gym that Harry desperately wanted to visit. He said it tends to help with his hangover and I knew about that because he’s done it before, I just didn’t think it helps. For me at least.

Once we got back from our work out session we both showered then got into something comfy to go and hang out in with the others.

Harry was wearing blue shorts with a grey shirt that had an eagle on the front, white sunglasses and a yellow snapback.

I think it was safe to say that he looked stunning. Gorgeous. Absolutely breath-taking. Beautiful.

You get the gist.

While he was literally shining I was looking like trash next to him but I didn’t mind because his beauty was enough for me too.

“I lost count on how many times I’ve caught you staring at me just since we got back from the gym,” Harry told me as he laughed.

We were sitting on the grass because we liked to make a show of ourselves in front of other people. It was chill as we were both having a glass of champagne, not minding one bit that we just got over our hangovers.

That’s how you roll when you’re a wedding guest, right?

“Can you blame me?” I asked him as I brought my glass up to my mouth and took a sip of my cold and bubbly drink. It felt good as it slid down my throat into my stomach, the coolness of it giving me a refreshing feeling for a little while. “You’re quite possibly the prettiest human being here.”

“You compliment me too much. It should be the other way round,” he shook his head which I saw from the corner of my eye. “Sometimes I feel like our roles are reversed.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know,” he shrugged. Wow, thanks for helping me. “I just do. But I don’t mind. It feels good to have someone like you beside me. Giving me compliments when I feel down and stuff, always making sure I’m grounded. I’m glad to have you.”

“You’re gonna make me cry, stop,” I laughed. As the words left his lips I just suck all of them in which totally messed with my emotions. He just had his own way of making me feel all these things and I will never be able to explain just what he does to me. “You deserve it all, honestly.”

“How much do you wanna bet that you’ll be the one to get down on one knee?”

“I’ll be getting down on two tonight,” I blurted out which caused him to just look at me with a smirk on his lovely features.

“Y’know what I meant you cheeky girl,” he squeezed my thigh, his hand eventually going more and more up. “I swear you got more confident ever since we got together.”

“Ever Since New York.”

“Huh?”

“Your song, silly boy.”

“Still don’t know what you’re saying.”

“You said I got more confident ever since we got together. But those are not the lyrics to your song.”

“Oh,” he said. “Oh my godness, baby, really?”

“I’m a proud girlfriend. Did you know that by the way? I’m proud of you. Like, super-duper proud.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and leaned closer, his lips touching mine in a sweet, champagne flavoured kiss.

A small moan escaped from me as he massaged his soft and tender lips against mine, his tongue slightly tracing over my upper lip causing me to open my mouth. Soon enough our tongues were slapping together and tasting each other, the familiar taste of the champagne rolling off of his sweet lips and tongue made my head spin and body shake. 

Our kiss started off totally innocent then ended up quite heated. But I loved it. Every time Harry and I kissed I just fell in love with him more and more.

The heated moment was interrupted when a ball was thrown our way, our lips parting ways quickly with a smacking noise. My cheeks were turning slightly pink as I licked my lips and turned my head where Harry was looking.

“Harry, play with me!” the little girl asked him, well, more like demanded then soon enough she ran away.

She was basically in love with Harry. Her name was Lily one of the men’s daughters, only 5 years old if I remember correctly. She was the cutest little girl I have seen in a long time; her neediness for Harry’s attention reminded me a bit of myself.

I looked back to Harry who was laughing as he was already staring at me with his eyes, licking his lips which caught my attention straight away.

His lips were pink, shiny and kissable. Whenever he would talk I’d sometimes just zone out and admire his mouth, the way he forms each word is just absolutely mesmerising to me.

Well, everything he does is mesmerising to me.

“Guess I better go and play,” he laughed before pecking my lips softly. I put my hand on the side of his neck, biting into my lower lip as I scanned over his face not missing one bit before seeing his little side smirk appear alongside his dimples. “You’re literally obsessed with me, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“I just love you. I’m in love with you. Badly,” I told him what he probably already knew. Wow I loved him so much I would jump off a cliff for him if it meant he’ll be happy for the rest of his life and nothing bad will happen to him.

“I love you so much,” he said as he pressed a kiss to my forehead then got up to play with Lily.

And if I wasn’t an emotional mess before than I sure as hell turned into one the moment they started to play.

Harry had his phone in one hand while his champagne glass was in the other one and Lily was just chasing after him as he jogged in front of her. Their laughter added to the vibe of the people who were already talking and it made the atmosphere livelier and more welcoming to those who only just got to where we were.

Moments later Harry gave me his phone as he continued to play with the little girl. When he bopped her nose and she laughed then he joined in as well my whole heart melted like a big block of butter in the hot weather and I couldn’t stop the semi-loud “aw” rushing out of my mouth.

That was honestly the cutest fucking thing ever.

Lily was so small and Harry was so tall and gorgeous and the way he just messed around with the little girl was so adorable and all I wanted to do was get pregnant and give him a baby. I know I sound crazy but honestly.

He was so damn adorable I wanted to cry in happiness. He was just the man of my dreams. No, wait, scratch that.

Harry was better than any man in any of my dreams ever. Harry was something else.

He was better than anyone I have ever met, he raised my expectations and standards to an unhealthily high bar and I almost felt stuck up for it.

I loved him so much it was quite pathetic and indescribable; he made me so happy I sometimes wondered what my life was like before I got to know him.

“What are you thinking, pretty girl?” his voice was so close to me I almost jumped out of my skin. I wasn’t expecting him to be next to me but I guess my thoughts totally drowned me.

“Nothing much,” I answered finally as I looked up to him.

“Alright, if you say so,” he sat back down next to me, pushing his sunglasses up so that they were resting on his head on top of his snapback. “We have a dinner to attend tonight. Would you do me the honours of being my date for it?”

“I would absolutely love that,” I told him smiling which he returned. “You get tanned so easily I’ll have to get my game on.”

“You’re so fucking competitive,” he shook his head laughing.

“I am. Do you have a problem with that?” I asked back sassily.

“No just know that I will not let you win. I will be tanner than you are by the time we are going home.”

“Is that what you think?” I raised one of my eyebrows, challenging him. “Fifty quid when we get home?” I put my hand out, knowing full well he’s gonna have to pay.

We’ve done this before when we were in LA and I was twenty quid richer when we got back home. I had to raise the bar by thirty to make some profit.

“Alrighty, miss,” he took my hand and shook it. “Fifty quid right as we land at Heathrow.”

I winked at him, lifting up my new glass of champagne and taking a sip. I can’t wait to spend that fifty quid on shit that I don’t even need.