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#i truly dont know what i did for for ppl to be mean
pawified · 8 months
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정말 심지어 왜이 응용 프로그램에 임 모르겠어요. 내가 뭔가를 훔치는 혐의로 기소되는 메신저 뭔가를 변경할 때마다,난 정말 더 이상 여기에 내 시간을 즐길 해달라고. ://
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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🌧️🫧💭
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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koishua · 2 months
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shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao
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#tp#very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot#idk idk#i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it#so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck#i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry#i loved everyone on part one#as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face#bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls#despite already having spent the whole day together#and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls#by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl#that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time#AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone#and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth#but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative)#and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too.#and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER#my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl#after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal??#and then all the girlies threw him away like that??#i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on??#i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to#maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy#no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly#and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront??#the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes#and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down#(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used#against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!
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shingogf · 2 years
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i truly do feel that no one will ever know the real me
#i mean this in a way thats like. yea im usually very much content with this and i actively keep people away cuz of the fear of being known#at the same time i cant help but think how neither my ex or any of the men i ever spoke to or who i'll speak to in the future will get me#and i dont mean this in a im not like the other girls way. i mean this in a theres smth profoundly and deeply and truly wrong with me#and the majority of ppl wont ever care or have enough patience to understand the inner workings of why i am who i am. men specifically#i just have this same thought every single time i talk to a man and he shows somewhat of an interest in me like its either pure carnal want#or hes just interested in making convo and *getting to know me* but in fact they never ever stick around or actively try to know me#my ex included and him especially tbh#.txt#this train of thought has been spurred on by me making an active effort in the last days to talk to more men as if that ever helped me#technically it SHOULD help me cuz i meet new ppl. it doesnt. it never did. i just feel like they all act the same and im stuck in a loop#maybe 1 or 2 friends of mine acc know me other than that none of my family not even my own mom ever knows or cares abt what i really feel#or think or act like etc. let alone potential dates its such a mundane existence#the process of being known is long and heinous and the people required to kickstart it never show enough implication#and most of the times its ok. other times once in a blue moon at nearly 12 am it just feels deeply wrong
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lunataurora · 6 months
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y. youre kidding me
#read ll 25#i liked three things in technicality but um. hated their presentation completely and entirely#i ripped this to shreds elsewhere um. to ppl who do not know abt this comic#bc ive never seen ppl complain abt the things i did not like in this comic. at all#anyways im surprised i fucking despised the double-ending. usually i like exploration of variation. but this felt truly sinister#felt like it REALLY was trying to give bad vs good ending which! i hate!#especially when characters becoming more disabled vs not is seen as a choice to choose between as a reader#ESPECIALLY WHEN THE WRITING WORKED SO HARD TO PRESENT ITSELF AS HATING THE CONCEPT OF MORAL ABSOLUTISM AND THE IDEA PEOPLE CAN BE#QUANTIFIED AS 'GOOD' OR 'BAD'#haha noooo dont rejoin society. youll be abused by corrupt systems and become more disabled and have to face consequences for your#actions and revert to your worst self lol.#just join the eternal fratboy ship where nobody(else) dies and we can all take care of each other mentally. like a cult#like ok yeah the ship is supposed to be like a new home ok yeah. but youre all fratboys. in a big ship.#'turns out postwar society SUUCKS im getting a van lets go solve a random mystery pls just get me off this planet' to#'i was right postwar society sucks im staying in the van. guys just stay in the van with me. forever btw'#shouldve made a sequel series. the quest to find at least 1 good therapist#like srry yes its very ro/dimus ending but um. not so great as a story conclusion imo#LOVE the series LOVE most of the little arcs. the endings though? hollow. devoid of meaning#i personally think brai/nstorm shouldve gotten that physical disability like. right around elegant chaos. and kept it.#no 'you reap what you sow' no 'optional bad end' fuck you its cool that he has an assist i love it so much#altho tbh i guess giving him that right after EC would feel very 'reap what you sow' still....... maybe in the peak of EC then? idk#hell. all the way back to getting shot in the chest. or maybe the dark cybertron situation even. when they revealed hes technically unwell#waaaaaghhhhhh.#dummy posts
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snekdood · 1 year
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i kinda feel like so long as someone like me isn’t accepted as a part of the queer community that none of us will ever be able to work together for our rights
#so long as im not 'good enough'. in whatever way that means to you. im p sure none of us will be accepted lol#idk what it is about me.  im too mentally ill? too taboo? too outspoken about my beliefs??#i dont feel like i operate really a whole lot different than other people on here i just have different interests and shit idk#but like. bc im such a low hanging fruit. bc im so easy to demonize. bc i look like a disney villain lol . as long as im not accepted#in all my sexy devilish ways#idk if any of us will.#idc if you think i give queer people a bad look bc of how much i embrace the things conservatives hate about us#bc like this is just me dude. im just being myself up here. sure i do a lil jokey trickstery stuff here n there but yknow#idk what ppl want from me. truly#like seriously if anyone can let me know what i did that was so wrong. id love to know#bc rn my suspicion is its just the terfs who are malding. but could be my abuser too. idk#they have way less people on their side though than like terfs do on the whole so thats why im leaning more toward it being the terfs#considering they have a whole. terf army apparently lol.#im not saying its just me but when yall decide certain people arent good enough or dont fit your hashtag aesthetic enough to be#part of the community then we're always going to lose. you cant just decide for queer people whether or not they have a place in thel#community. bc if you can just pick and choose who you want to be in it then its not even a community anymore or a movement or anything#its literally just a fucking clique and theres no way clique behavior is ever gonna inspire anyone to want to support us#and thats#aside from setting up a hierarchy of whats desireable in a person and what makes them Good Enough to be in the community#bc that shit is also going to make people decide to sort us by a similar standard. so long as all of us aren't accepted none of us will be
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leclercsainzz · 6 months
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS PART 2
PAIRINGS: lando norris x gf!reader / tom blyth x fem!reader
TYPE: social media au
WARNING: // cheating implied
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, tomblyth and 671,810 others
yourusername: the film is out! ❤️
tagged: @tomblyth
view 5,018 comments
user: seeing it tonight!!!
user: ya’ll see that kiss or??? 👀
oscarpiastri: do i still get those free tickets? 🤔
↳ yourusername: of course!
↳ landonorris: and me?
↳ oscarpiastri: you’re rich, shut up
user: wonder how @landonorris felt seeing his girlfriend kissing another guy like that
user: watched the movie last night and OMG
user: yn, do you prefer buzz cut or long hair on coriolanus?
↳ yourusername: buzz cut all the way!!!!!
↳ user: mother knows what’s up 😌
user: LOVED the movie!!
tomblyth: you’re truly phenomenal! ❤️
↳ yourusername: right back at you, my love ❤️
↳ user: STFU NSPAKSNDBFD
↳ user: @landonorris WHERE U AT, BRO???
user: “love” 😭😭😭😭
↳ user: not just “love” but “MY love” like?? 😭😭
user: watching it tomorrow, cannot wait!
user: her bf is stronger than me bc i would’ve been crying
user: DID YA’LL SEE THE KISS SCENE??? 🫣🫣🫣
↳ user: i was like 😮‍💨
↳ user: he kissed her like she was air 🫠 like the air he needs
user: the way tom’s looking at her in that third slide 😩😩
user: you both killed it, omg!!
↳ user: pov coryo took that personal 🤪
user: SNOW LANDS ON TOP, MF!
↳ user: on top of me, yes!
landonorris: you killed it, pretty girl ❤️
↳ yourusername: 😊
user: the difference between her responds to tom vs lando
↳ user: she’s over here calling tom “my love” while lando just gets some bs of emoji, i CANNOT 💀
user: lando be fighting for his girl’s affection, i swear
user: yn with tom 😩🥰🥰❤️😊😍😌😍😘🥵🥵😍🥰
↳ user: vs yn with lando 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
↳ user: i feel like she’s definitely in love with tom
↳ user: he’s also in love with her, its so obvious
user: tom NEEDED that kiss in order to breathe, i swear
↳ user: dude he kissed her with so much hunger and desperation had me giggling the whole time
↳ user: convinced that was just tom and yn
user: HAPPY RELEASE DAY YA’LL!!! ❤️❤️🐍
user: you and tom were truly phenomenal as snow and lucy
↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️
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landonorris
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liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 698,974 others
landonorris: fun times with MY girl! 😘
tagged: @yourusername
view 5,274 comments
user: he really said, “my girl”
user: is she attending next race??
user: he saw all the yntom shippers so he had to shut them up real quick, honestly as he should!
user: PARENTS ARE BETTER THAN EVER ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: what about tom? 😭😭 @yourusername
↳ user: girl, bffr
user: idc i’m still shipping yn and tom
user: lando said, “everyone can sit tf down bc she’s my girl”
yourusername: love yaa 😘
↳ landonorris: i love you too ❤️
↳ user: yntom shippers how we feeling??? 😭😭
user: idk why but her comments/replies to lando seem so dry??? like before she’d say the cutest shit ever and now it’s like she just comments bc she has no other choice
↳ user: seems like she’s falling out of love to me
user: @tomblyth GET YOUR GIRL, DONT GIVE UP
user: everyone who is constantly shipping yn and tom need to move on!! she’s literally happy in her relationship with lando
user: are they officially back together??
user: @tomblyth
user: @tomblyth
user: she’s soo beautiful!!! 😍😍
user: lando really said, “if she’s anybody’s girl she’s MINE”
user: ynlando nation rise!!!!!
user: i know she’s clearly happy with lando but her and tom are honestly just the cutest
user: @ everyone who still ships tom and yn
user: not “my” but “MY” 👀
user: he got tired of ppl shipping his girl with someone else
user: mate, you’re stronger than bc the way yn talks about tom is just INSANE! she’s in love with him .. open your eyes
carlossainz55: 🤩🤩
user: the emphasis on the “my” 🤭🤭
oscarpiastri: this is cute or whatever
↳ user: my fav boy
user: wait!! does that mean we will be seeing yn in the paddock again???
↳ user: i hope so!!! 😩😩
user: idk about you all but i feel like her smile/face glows more whenever she’s with tom …….
↳ user: definitely, i agree!
↳ user: that’s bc tom’s her ✨daylight✨
↳ user: shUT uP OMG OMG, YESSS
↳ user: i foUnd my people
user: i missed her, omg ❤️❤️😭😭😭
user: will she be at the next race???
user: i feel like if she’s in love with tom, she should dump him
↳ user: that’s harsh, damn 😭😭
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, joshandresrivera and 678,739 others
yourusername: a small bts photo dump:) 💗
tagged: @hunterschafer @tomblyth @joshandresrivera @the.sofia.sanchez
view 6,016 comments
user: hunter’s soo gorggg 😍😍😍
user: “a small bts” but it’s just tom
↳ user: it’s her excuse to post tom 🤣
user: the 6th photo was so unnecessary napaksns
hunterschafer: 😘😘😘😘❤️
user: wovey 🥺
user: yn’s down bad for tom, huh???
user: the chemistry they have on and off the screen is just unbelievably insane, omgg
user: 6th SLIDE??? HELLO??!!? MA’AM??!!?
user: I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP I SHIP
user: lando 💔💔💔💔💔💔
user: her and tom are DEFINITELY more than just friends and ya’ll CANNOT convince me otherwise
↳ yourusername: we’re just friends
↳ user: yeah and i’m jlaw’s daughter, but good try babe
tomblyth: my favorite girl!! ❤️
↳ user: SIR???
↳ user: bitCh what???!? 😳
↳ user: your what????
user: not him calling her his girl, BYE 😭😭😭😭
user: THIS LANDO MF BLIND ASF OMG 😭 iTs cLEAR THAT THERE’S MORE TO THIS WHOLE “friendship” BS
user: tHe 6th slide napaldndnfnc
user: not her posting the lake scene
user: wAit- are they about to kiss in the 6th slide??? bc i don’t remember no kiss in that scene
user: everyone is freaking over the 6th slide but the last one??? HELLO????? the hand on the chin?? 😩😩😩😩
↳ user: i thoUght i was the only one laswowhrbd
user: wovey, my love ❤️❤️❤️
joshandresrivera: love you, loser ❤️
user: their chemistry bro 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
user: its the way he’s looking at her in the last pic
user: tom and yn took their “relationship” to the next level
user: patiently waiting for lando’s comment
↳ user: i don’t think he knows what to comment 😭
user: she looks so much happier with tom, i swear
user: yn, be honest, are you in love with tom??!?
user: nah i feel bad for lando, bro 😭😭😭😭
↳ user: bro is clueless
user: lando losing on and off the track
↳ user: 💀💀💀💀💀
user: i genuinely want to know what type of relationship her and tom have cause???? it’s def more than friendly
user: @landonorris
user: i feel like she’s cheating on lando 😬
↳ user: 100%
user: they weren’t acting in the movie 😭 they were just being themselves, i swear
user: lando is one of the strongest soldiers i know!!!
user: i feel so bad for lando 😕😕😕😕
↳ user: he deserves better (me)
user: if you don’t want lando, i’ll happily take him
user: genuine question are they dating?? tom and yn, that is??
↳ user: no, but they might as well be dating atp
user: ya’ll gotta understand that a male and female can be close friends without having to be involved in a romantic way
↳ user: PREACH!
↳ user: there’s a thing called cheating, yk????
↳ user: with the way these two act there’s definitely more going on than just a friendly relationship
imessage
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yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri and 674,836 others
yourusername: NUMBER ONE?!!?!!?????!!!!!??
view 4,946 comments
user: gagged the hater with this one!!
user: your singing had me captivated
thehungergames: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: CORIOLANUS >>
user: you were amazing
user: proud of you!!!
tomblyth: you did that!! 🤩
↳ yourusername: no, babe, WE did that!! 👏🏼
↳ user: “babe” 😭😭😭😭
↳ user: ma’am just say yall together atp
user: well deserved
user: singing was phenomenal, omggg
user: that’s what happens when snow lands on top!! 🤩
📌 pinned
user: number one in the world and in my heart ❤️
user: you and tom were absolutely phenomenal
↳ yourusername: 💗💗💗💗
landonorris: you deserve it!! ❤️
↳ yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️
user: lucy gray is stronger than me bc personally i would’ve sat down with coriolanus and talked it out
↳ user: no bc same!!!! 😩 like i can fix him
↳ user: i would’ve ran away with him, idc
↳ yourusername: babes, are we just forgetting that he’s the reason finnick’s dead???? or the fact that he’s crazy???
user: SNOW LANDS ON WHAT EVERYONE??!!?
user: proud of you, my love!!! ❤️❤️
user: not her holding a grudge against snow for killing finnick she’s so real for that LMAOOOO
↳ tomblyth: 😩😩😩
user: the real question is did snow ever love lucy gray??
↳ yourusername: i like to believe so, yes! but he definitely loved power more:(
↳ tomblyth: lies 😑 (i agree)
↳ user: please 😭😭 he’s so unintentionally funny
user: you guys all deserve it, each one of you was amazing!!
user: my snowbaird heart ❤️❤️
user: best movie this year, i don’t make the rules
songbirdsandsnakes: thanks to our favorite coriolanus snow and lucy gray!!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩
user: the movie was amazing, well done!!
user: I NEED MORE OF SNOW AND LUCY GRAY 😩😩
↳ user: i think we all do!!!
user: well deserved, pretty girl!!!!
carlossainz55: proud of you, yn! ❤️❤️❤️
↳ yourusername: ❤️ thank you, carlos
↳ user: missing this duo 🥺
user: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: you and tom smashed it
↳ user: they took the “smashing” part too serious 🫢
↳ user: you did not 💀
user: my lucy gray 🤩
user: I NEED A PIC WITH THIS CAST AND THE OG’S
↳ user: yn met jennifer, i believe .. but same!!! 😩😩
user: your singing was phenomenal, babe!!!
user: why’d you leave snow at the end??? 😭😭😭😭
↳ yourusername: cause he’s crazy??????
↳ user: he just wanted to talk tho????!!? 😩 all you had to do was sit and talk with him and apologize to him????
↳ yourusername: so he can kill me after????
↳ user: he would do NO such thing
tomblyth
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 684,830 others
tomblyth: it’s crazy to think tbosas is currently number one at the moment! this was such an unforgettable experience and i’m grateful i got to experience it with @yourusername ❤️
tagged: @yourusername
view 5,101 comments
user: I CANT, OMG
user: THE FIRST POST 😭😭😭
user: lando being in the likes??? 👀
yourusername: wouldn’t have wanted it any other way
yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️
songbirdandsnakes: snowbaird lives with you both ❤️
user: you both deserve it!!!
user: you killed it, mate! ❤️
user: they were both phenomenal, i cannot
user: both were incredible leads
user: it’s hard to tell if they’re just affectionate with each other or there’s simply more
user: if they aren’t dating, i NEED them to date 😭😭
user: they’re in love and nobody can convince me otherwise
↳ user: it’s so obvious
user: amazing leads!!!! 🤩🤩🤩
user: not lando liking 😭😭
user: SNOW LANDS ON TOP
user: you were amazing as snow! 👏🏼
user: does lucy gray haunt your dreams, be honest
↳ tomblyth: always
user: phenomenal actor
user: lucy gray or lucy gray??
↳ tomblyth: mhm .. none, i think i prefer lucy gray
↳ user: AS YOU SHOULD!
user: MY CORIOLANUS SNOW!! ❤️❤️ you were AMAZING
user: ya’ll cannot tell me snow didn’t love lucy bc he did
↳ user: he did love her in his own twisted way but he loved power more:((
user: i watched the move like 4 times already
user: if evil why so hot??
user: you and yn were phenomenal as snow and lucy gray
↳ tomblyth: ❤️ appreciate it, mate
user: why’d you betray my boy sejanus like that? 😭😭
user: LANDO IN THE LIKES 👀
↳ user: hes crying in a corner after seeing the first pic
user: they messed with our feelings 😩😩
↳ user: noo frr cause tell me why i was rooting for them knowing damn well how it would all end up 💔
user: i NEED them together
user: they look so good together 😩
user: you can definitely tell they love each other and not just as “friends”
user: well deserved!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
user: in my world snowbaird ended up together and are living happily ever after
↳ user: same!!!
↳ user: snowbaird and yntom
user: i know she’s dating someone but they look so good together, it’s like they are meant to be
imessage
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pt3??
taglist:
@geraltwintersoldier @love4josh @dudde-44 @coconut-dreamz @newlifeforus @loxbbg @dakotali @f1footballluvverr @mountmaason19 @poppyflower-22 @magical-spit @nazm145 @nikolaros22 @sincerlymatakorama @36babyg @bucket-of-fanfiction @gyunheat @dakotali @bucket-of-fanfiction @djoenthusiast @nyraahub @miglielia @aleidag1rly (if your user is purple, it’s bc i couldn’t find you)
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shatteredfears-arch · 2 years
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on one hand ima need the list of all the bad takes capcom badly confirmed but i also dk if i want it bc lbr if they didnt confirm it in series did it even happen bc theyre also confirmed four different ethnicities for Carlos and then forgot where he came from in those interviews, when they actively had given him an entire backstory already, so i dont think the interviews actively count as canon if you dont want them to lol
#out.#‘oh we looked for a name that sounded mexican!’ ‘hes from latin america!’ ‘hes native!’ on one hand he could be all but dude#none of them even had the same answer#yes ik they translated most of these interviews and it could have been bad translations but like#yall… gave him an upbringing#in a specific place#with full siblings from that specific place#dont even get me started on the re2 remake interviews that was a mess#main thing is i dont think the writers know how aspects of reality work#ut majorly… theybdont remember their own canon half the time#like if they didnt include it in game they dont seem to remember it#idk everyone showed me stuffs they apparently confirmed for sor but are they truly confirmed if its from an interview is also the question#they also said the game would have an alice in wo/nderland experience and while fake duke was like the d/ollmaker in amr#there was not an aiw experience#they said the re7 demo had nothing to do w the game an dtheybincluded the demo IN the game#their idea of plot twists is ‘lie to the audience and they’ll find out’ but forget to include what they mean#its the downfall of basically every horror creator i like tho none of them remember what they did before#but considering how mych they changed during production i cant even blame them for it like imagine trying to keep all of that in your head#someone somewhere had script ideas for ada in 8 and im still curious abt shit she’d say to ethan of all ppl#bc i rly dont think she’d give a corktail abt him until she learned what he was
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etherealkissed88 · 5 months
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i got what i wanted in the 3d but why did i keep assuming negative?
today i found myself assuming that something negative (that ive experienced before) was going to happen again soon. but this was without any clear evidence that it would happen. there was subtle evidence but then i caught myself and realized that is was all an assumption and i thought “why am i even assuming negative if i know the power of the law?💀” so i decided it wouldnt end up that way and i let it go. hours later i saw clear evidence of the complete opposite of my negative assumption. this means that everything was going good like no negative shit was gonna happen and i still literally got physical evidence of what i wanted. at the same time, i felt uncertain and again assumed that negative thing was still gonna happen soon (even tho i saw evidence that it it wouldnt happen).
why did i feel uncertain even tho what i wanted appeared right in front of me? because in reality, i was chasing the feeling. i wasnt fulfilled, i wasnt satisfied within. this is what ppl mean when they say “its the feeling you want, you dont want it in the 3d”. sure you want the object and the physical experience but notice how the “real” and physical thing did not satisfy me at all. i literally manifested what i wanted yet i didnt feel like it would last. the 3d will never give you what you want. it will always be that inner fulfillment that gives you want you want. fulfillment is what gives you the satisfaction so if youre saying that you manifested something in the 3d and felt secure, thats because you were fulfilled. why did i also get what i wanted in the 3d yet i didnt feel secure? it will always come down to the fulfillment. that fulfillment is the FEELING! the feeling of knowing you have it despite seeing it in the 3d or not. this is also why the 3d never matters; its all neutral. bc everything IS based on assumptions and states. you see the world based on which state you are in. if im in the state of being broke, i will look at a $50 headphones as too expensive and i wouldnt feel secure in buying it. but if i was in the state of being a millionaire, i would look at a $50 headphones as if it was fifty cents and i would feel secure in even buying a more expensive one. its not about the 3d, its about if you feel fulfillment because either way if you have it in the 3d and still dont feel as if its not rly yours (fulfillment), then you will continue to assume negative and feel unsecured in your manifestation.
“as within so without” right? this is why when you are satisfied internally, you feel satisfied externally; it gets pushed out because self is always expressed in the 3d. someone who is not satisfied with being a millionaire within, can never feel good in the 3d until they fulfill themselves within (or change states where being a millionaire is normal for them). everything truly is the feeling and everything truly starts within.
back to assumptions: i continued to assume negative even with positive evidence in front of me because i wasnt giving myself the feeling. i didnt feel satisfied within. assumptions are accepting ideas without evidence. i clearly assumed correctly because i didnt have evidence that that negative thing was going to happen but i clearly was in a state of fear which is what caused me to continuously have that assumption. whatever state you are in affects your assumptions. lucky for me and you, we can change states and assumptions instantly. other than that, next time you find yourself assuming negative, stop yourself and just decide/assume it will all work out. change your state -> you are now the person who already has what they want.
anywayz, i realized all this in a span of 7 seconds after i got the physical thing i wanted but still assumed negative. i wanted to make this post because ppl could be doing the same thing and still feeling stuck and thinking that something is wrong with them when thats not the case. catch yourself and assume positive. make it a habit that whenever you want something, fulfill yourself right away. assume its done right away. update: i assumed and fulfilled myself with what i wanted and i no longer feel the need to assume the negative shit 😛. the power of fulfillment am i right ?
kisses, jani ☆
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c1oud999 · 6 months
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hi
i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.
basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.
thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.
lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.
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whois-jess · 7 months
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can i request rhea ripley x reader
rhea and y/n are former best friends that have feelings for each other, but have grown distant due to rhea joining the judgment day, and y/n dominating the singles division, but y/n is attacked by Damage CTRL(or someone else, they’re the only ppl i could think of) rhea is the one to save her, and they make up with hesitation and distrust on y/n’s end of it, because rhea injured y/n’s good friend liv morgan. rhea shows reader how much she truly missed her.
Trust me
Rhea Ripley x Fem!reader
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Rhea and me were best friends since NXT we went everywhere together and when we could traveled together, we were even a tag team everyone loved us and our chemistry i was Rheas 'girl' but when she joined the judgment day we became more distant she was always with Dom or the rest of them.
I am working in the singles devision and i what many say dominating the singles devision, i was also friends with Liv Morgan and people said we had good chemistry now.
I was walking out to the ring when i felt a kick to my back "shit!" I said falling down i turned to see Bayley "oh my god! Its Damage CTRL!" Michael yelled "poor y/r/n didn't see that!" He added "maybe because they came from behind!" Wayne said back as Bayley stomped on my arm making me scream Iyo Sky and Dakota Holding my arms as Bayley repeatedly kicked me "y/r/n all on her own" i tried to fight back trying to wriggling out their grip but failing when i hear a theme.
"Oh my ITS RHEA RIPLEY!" I lifted my head to see bayley, Dakota and Iyo drop me walking backward to the ring "Mami is not happy she is back for her girl!" Rhea runs straight by me to Bayley kicking her "touch her again! Go on!" then when Dakota tried to help Rhea ran her into the steel steps Iyo too busy looking after her friends as Rhea walks back to me "you okay y/n" she asked kneeling down by me fans screaming 'MAMIS GIRL' "Yeah yeah" i held my stomach and Rhea picked me up bridal style "lets get you backstage".
We got backstage to my dressing room both not saying a word as hurt still lingered when i saw her "so you Okay?" She asked sitting by me "yeah just sore" i nodded and she looked at me "look y/n i am sorry" i looked at her funny "why?" I asked as she did nothing but maybe that my problem "well i guess i been ignoring you and other stuff we were so close then i just leave you" she looks down at her hands as she speaks, i dont know what to say not really trusting her "i abandoned you in a way and i am sorry y/n" i sighed looking at her "i mean Rhea you injured liv one of my best friends" Rhea looked a little guilty "that wasnt my intention you know me i am a massive softy y/n" she said and i sat there thinking and moments when we would bake together or have sleepovers because we had the same hotel room "i do Rhea and it hurts that you left me" i looked down this time but her soft hand lifted my chin up "y/n i want to go back to how it was us two my girl..." I looked into her blue eyes and even though i felt the hesitation her eyes told truth and emotion "yes Rhea of course i will be your girl again" i smiled and her face lit up "really you mean it!" I nodded and she ran over lifting up "you got to met the judgment day you'll get on with them! We can all go on trips we can have girls day and everything!" She smiled like a kid on Christmas making me chuckle "calm mami lets just enjoy this" i smile at her still in her arms as we hug again for the first time in what feels like years "we're back!~" Rhea smiled as i we both laughed.
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damagedcoda6669 · 19 days
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Hey Lucifer, i'm sorry I am telling you this since ik you and Al are close, but that's exactly why i'm telling you this...
As you know, Al used to be in birdie drama spaces, and he still is, but just under an alt.
Remember the borderline 12 drama? Al made that happen to see how the public would react since he is planning bigger things. He wants to see how fast your "fans" will turn on you, and he wanted to see how many would defend you. He knew doing the borderline 12 thing would get you in trouble, he even was surprised with how well it went considering YOU posted it when he actually wanted to post it on his account and mention you drew it.
I know this since i'm also in birder drama servers, but I just think Al is taking it too far...
He is truly playing the long game and trying to solidify your trust within him so that those leaks that are happening cannot be traced back to him. Al has truly formed an attachment to you, but not in a good way.
That borderline 12 drama was also to test your loyalty to him and it worked since you believed that he meant no harm when all he truly did mean was to harm you. You may think Al is genuine and would never, but just try to analyze a few of his messages pertaining to birder drama.... that's all i'm going to allude to because I don't want him to know who i am. I don't want him to doxx me.
I will say, Al does share a lot of interests with you and he does find you fun to be around, but that's because he sees you as a toy instead of a person.
Just- please be careful with Al, he is betraying you behind closed doors and PLEASE don't listen to him when he says all the anon's are lying, they are just scared of him finding out because right now he is really favored in birdie drama spaces since he infiltrated you so well.
Ik you might not believe me since i said I was in birdie drama spaces and i will admit, i do talk bad about you.... However, I never leaked anything nor have I been involved in what Al has been doing. I am mainly a lurker and to gain trust in the birder servers I just regurgitate the hate everyone else has for you. I feel really guilty, which is why i'm writing you this.
Other's have spoken out in anon asks on your moraltonz account, and Al was really upset with them and tried doxxing them to get them out of the birdie servers he's in so his plans don't get foiled by them, since he knows you get paranoid easily. Al is really worried about you finding out about him, so I'm hoping you get to this ask.
You may believe it's people trying to ruin you Lucifer, but other asks that pretty much imply it's birdie haters was just a tactic used to try to get the people truly coming forward to be discreditable.
Also, read my username and think back to all the birdie drama and all the people involved. I won't say too much, but I hope you can get what I am alluding to. If not, it's ok.
TLDR;
PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH AL, LUCIFER. Please.
It's disheartening what Al is doing to you, with all the leaks, with the ploys, with how he talks about you, and just with everything he is doing.
Al has not stopped interacting in birdie drama spaces, he lied to you.
I truly think Synni is your only friend, because even though she used to be in birdie spaces, I don't think she has an alt.
I'm sorry i'm telling you all of this considering how close you and Al are, I really am sorry he is doing this to you. /gen
the lengths u guys go 2 2 try 2 induce my paranoia/delusions n turn me against ppl u dont know is crazy. if this is true, if u actually cared abt me, use ur main. say it 2 my face. give me evidence. ALSO ADMITTING U SHITTALK ME AND ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE IN BIRDIE DRAMA SERVERS IS CRAAAZY. I AM NOT GOING 2 LISTEN 2 A WORD U SAY, U R JUST ADMITTING 2 BEING A BAD PERSON. if u feel sooooo guilty, why r u still there? if al was rlly leaking shit in these spaces, scs and evidence wouldve gotten back 2 me by now. itd have spread online and id be able 2 see artwork n images that i havent sent 2 anyone besides them. also??? stop misgendering them??? weird ass
anyway yeah, good lie, u fabricated an interesting story, but gimme some proof. gimme gimme i want those discord scs that dont exist *rubs my hands 2gether nefariously*
heh u dont know this but.. jotaro is leaking everything
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twistedastrology · 29 days
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- The most painful Chiron placements -
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in my opinion-
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to preface, all chiron placements are inherently painful, but these to me are the ones i have the most respect for in a way??
everyone knows chiron as the wounded healer, it represents our soul level wound that, once healed, is our greatest superpower.
so here are a handful of the chiron placements that to me are the most intense.
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- Chiron in Aries/1st -
chiron in aries is absolutely terrifying to me and i have the utmost respect for people with this placement because this is a core wound of the self.
they go through life forever trying to find who they are and feeling like the world holds no space for them- ive said like a billion times that my biggest fear is losing myself, and that's the wound that chiron in aries has to deal with.
they might struggle with finding what they're willed to do and might feel like a mosaic of everything else around them instead of a real person and that is so scary to me.
once they manage to heal that wound though, they are fucking unstoppable and inspire others to find themselves just as they did.
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- Chiron in Sagittarius -
this one is intense to me because it often has a lot of potential to remain unhealed- this is a wound that relates to spirituality entirely-
i dont know many ppl with this placement at all but i imagine they're scared or intimidated by spirituality as a whole to some degree-
these people don't know what the purpose of life is, they don't know what they believe in or If they believe in anything- the subject of belief and purpose in life is very sore for them.
when healed, this chiron placement bestows an intense sense of belonging and meaning in life, and it has a lot of potential to remain unhealed because spirituality at the very least helps you to find a true meaning in life, without adhering to a strict religion that makes one up.
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- Chiron in Aquarius/11th -
im a little biased for this one because i have this placement but i can 100% speak from experience because of that.
this placement is easily the most agonizing one in my entire chart- for the longest time i felt like i would never find true friends, and sometimes that feeling will creep up again and it makes me absolutely crumble.
chiron in aries and chiron in aquarius are very similar to some extent because they both feel like the world won't give them somewhere to feel at home, just for different reasons.
chiron in aquarius makes you feel like you will never have anyone who truly understands you and that even if you do, they won't stick around like you want them to.
for some people, this can make them try to conform to somewhere they don't belong. thankfully i don't have that aspect, but it has crossed my mind multiple times in life.
this placement, when it's triggered by something, makes me immediately consider every possibility upon meeting someone new and forces me to give up my hopes until im proven otherwise.
im pretty sure it's the reason i have an avoidant attachment style as well as trust issues 😮‍💨
when healed though, these people have the ability to bring people together without snuffing anyone's individuality. they always respect people for who they are and the friends they do manage to find respect them for who they are.
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much shorter post this time but ive been super tired all day and ofc had a chiron trigger so ive been a little cranky to say the least- but i wanted to write something for some reason so i figured what better than what i struggled with today 😮‍💨
if you have any of these chiron placements or just generally know your chiron fucking hurts really bad when it's triggered, i get it- but it won't be like that forever. the more we manage to heal, the more that wound is transformed into the most stable part of our charts.
if in general you're not doing well rn, again, i get it, but it will never be like that forever. that's not how life works. you won't be happy forever either, but if you were, there would be no value to it.
like the song i named this blog after says, "a lonely life where no one understands you, but don't give up because the music do"
- 🖤 -
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gvtted-ratz · 3 months
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read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.
FEM ALIGNING/IDENTIFYING PPL (unless mutuals/friends) DNI WITH OUR MLM WORKS. fem ppl can still request tho. respect our wishes or get blocked. yes we do read/check everything. we tag appropriately/use tags that go with our posts.
want 2 request? find the rules: here!
want 2 see all the fics? find em: here!
Mission Failed
Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish
Last Edited: 17/03/2023
TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention
@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)
Word Count: 2,654
AO3 LINK -> HERE
Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!
At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.
The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.
With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.
Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.
It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.
The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.
And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.
With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.
Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.
“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.
“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.
“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.
“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.
“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.
Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.
With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.
“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.
“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.
“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.
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After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.
The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.
While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?
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“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.
“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.
“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.
“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.
“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.
“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.
“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.
“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.
“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.
“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.
“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”
“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.
“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.
“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.
“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.
“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.
“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.
Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.
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cassyapper · 2 months
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i am so curious about your pucci thoughts...
I AM SO FUCKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ASK OH MY FUCKING GOD my life has been crazy lately but still i am So Sorry
okay so basically i love pucci we have to kill him. here is a list of my thoughts in no particular order
he makes me so ill like genuinely he is one of the most well written jojo characters ever and DEFINITELY the most well written villain. like holy shit. i think a lot about how weather said the evilest of people are those who think they are good and how that relates to pucci oh my GOD it makes me sick. pucci like many villains are a "ends justify the means" kinda guy like while he was cruel at many points i truly think he was jsut like, yes this is a moment of weakness but it wont matter because im going to fix it. i think aobut how he really thought he was going to save everyone. he was going to save perla. he was going to save dio. he was going to save himself. and thinking baout things from his side, like, oh my god. dio was his only friend. we the audience know that dio groomed him (not necessarily sexually but still grooming) and even though dio did seem to grow to truly care for pucci, he didnt care enough to not use him for his plan to restart the world -- but PUCCI didnt know that. im sure he had inklings and feelings like he's not NAIVE, im sure he KNEW dio was using him at SOME point, but it wouldnt change the fact dio still eventually saw him and was his friend either way. it wouldnt change the fact that he would do this one thing for his only friend, even if his only friend BECAME his friend in the first place just to make him fulfill this task. god dio and pucci's relationship is so insane i hate hate hate that people boil it down to just shipping LIKE THERE WAS RESENTMENT THERE WAS ANGER THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE AND HALF OF IT WAS LOVE FOR WHAT THE OTHER COULD DO FOR HIM INSTEAD OF JUST HIM HIMSELF . LIKE FUCK'S SAKE im sick of ppl putting a romantic spin on everything and YES this is half me being aromatnic but also COME ON. and that's not even getting into the fact dio and pucci's relationship is supposed to parallel jolyne and jotaro's/jolyne and jonathan's. but anyway
god he loved his sister so much man it makes me sick he jsut wanted her safe man. after everything....i choose to believe his final thoughts were of perla. it's why he was begging for everything he did to have meant SOMETHING -- please let if have meant perla got a good life in whatever universe the world will end up in. i like to believe she did. he won't be there to see it. oh god he wont be there ot see it. fuck. maybe that was for the best in his mind anyway
his drama and tragedy aside he's also the funniest guy in the entire world. why the hell is a catholic priest wearing gucci. well i guess that answers the question but still. he is so fucking funny he is not even subtle about it he is LITERALLY like EOUGH DONT TOUCH MY EXPENSIVE DESIGNER PANTS and then he kicks a cop to his death for it. he's so fucking funny i love him so much. i love that whitesnake is independent enough to have its own personality and he and pucci get into spats sometimes OS FUCKING FUNNY. MFW I ARGUE WITH MY OWN SOUL.
also my disdain for shipping culture aside i cannot deny that pucci is a homophobic homosexual. he and jotaro totally banged a couple times and awkwardly called it off when pucci first sees jotaro's birthmark and he's like oh no. SO FUCKING FUNNY
ugh sorry i jsut want to go back to this point he's so smart he's so Aware of how people work and connect he's always had a fine sense for it (do you believe in gravity...) OUGH like there's no WAY HE DIDN'T KNOW DIO WAS USING HIM BUT HE STILL LOVED DIO AND I THINK BEYOND THAT. I THINK HE TRUY BELIEVED WHAT DIO WAS SAYING. I THINK HE TRULY BELIEVED OKAY EVEN IF DIO HAS HIS OWN MOTIVES HERE, THIS END IS JSUT. SO I WILL KEEP FOLLWOING ALONG. LIKE. I. i truly think he thought this would save everyone, especially perla. ohuogh my god PUCCIIIIIIIIIIIII
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in short, he makes me sick we have to kill him. i like him a lot
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okkottsus · 1 year
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I usually dont mind ppl having different interpretations of characters and relationships, but this is just an insult to my boy’s character and his connection to nagi.
Reo may have developed an interest in nagi bc of his talent (and i find the notion of him doing the same thing he hated his family for at the start very interesting btw), but since then he obviously has developed an emotional attachment, and to him, it has to be nagi. he’s met people with even more skill than him in blk but he still hasnt spared them a 1/100 of the attention he gives to his best friend.
ofc i think it was important for them to improve on their own and maybe it was premature of him to go back to devoting himself to nagi so quickly, but i truly believe its bc he understood nagi’s perspective since he “abandoned him” and his true intentions.
the difference in their perspectives is very clear even before they enter blue lock:
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at that point winning the world cup was just reo’s dream but even then, to reo, the most important thing was for them to be together until the end (nagi was the one who made him promise that would be the case too !!) , while nagi was content with just going along with him bc he started caring abt him as a person
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until they lost to isagi’s team. from that moment, he decided (and was right imo) that they need to do whatever they can, even if they have to take separate paths for some time, to get stronger.
and nagi didnt “lose sight of their og goal” what are they talking about?? nagi literally mentions/thinks about their dream to be the best together every chance he gets?? he even got mad at reo cause he thought his friend was the one who forgot about their dream. he thought he was taking the vital steps to make it a reality and was frustrated reo couldnt see that:
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reo felt betrayed because he cared about nagi himself as much as he cared about their dream and thought that nagi used him as a stepping stone to move forward alone, when actually it would be more accurate to say that nagi views everyone except for reo as a stepping stone. (i dont blame reo for this, since even tho nagi tried to communicate that hes doing it for them, he did a terrible job of it).
but during their latest talk reo had already worked on himself and had acknowledged the fact that he was in the wrong for assuming that them being together no matter the cost was the right thing
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so when nagi approached him and explained himself a little better this time (boy was shocked when he realised how reo took their separation and put in a little bit more effort lol)
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reo finally understood how their desires intertwine now. how can people claim that reo sees nagi as a tool when its more of the other way around; meaning reo sees himself as a tool for making nagi the best striker in the world and he already declared that to Ego before:
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and again now:
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plus saying that he and nagi arent friends and they are just using each other is so out of touch with everything we’ve seen so far. reo’s devotion to nagi aside, nagi too cares for reo a lot outside of soccer. even after he left reo, he still got excited to see him and talk to him despite everything; to him it was obvious they would continue to interact no matter which team each of them was on:
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and he also felt bad for hurting him and expressed the hope that he would forgive him
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the only thing that i wish would happen now is for nagi to apologise to reo face to face instead of only doing it in his own thoughts, and for reo to also talk about why he was hurt. but i feel like they understood each other either way without many words, because in the end, their bond is just that strong.
they now both want to succeed more than they ever have before and have stopped being their complacent selves we met during the first selection. they are both thinking far into the future and not just within blue lock, so whether they keep moving forward together or separated from now on, it will be knowing they are working towards their shared dream.
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