#i want a horse themed choreography

[honeyimissjoo]

pls join me and petition to add this to their choreography

[hezuart]

New helluva boss episode is out, any thoughts?

Season 1 Fizz: Robo Fizz was mean and called children ugly. Real Fizz called his guests “freaks”. Called Moxie an "ugly little bitch". Bragged about his fame and the money made off his robots and was even really pissed off his robot was destroyed at that theme park and wanted to sue

Season 2 Fizz: Extremely insecure, extremely nervous, hates the robots produced in his image, never bad mouths anyone and is really kind and nice to his competition, knows ASL and gives inspiration to children 

Who on earth is this guy???? You’re not Fizz??? By god, she’s done it again! Another male main character has been uwuified!! 😰When will it end???

~~~

Mammon: “You’ll be like the son I never had!” Fizz is elated at this, but Blitz’s dad already treated Fizz like the son he never had? Literally gave him a card saying he wished Fizz was his son. He was treated super well and was the most beloved within his circus. I mean, he did lose that, and him explaining everything he has is because of Mammon, and so I get it, he has an attachment to all this. I like that we are expanding on his character, but I feel like its overdone. The insecurity is a little too much. The panic attacks are a little too much. (Dude lost his arms and legs in a freak fire accident and its a creepy fan that he probably has to deal with on a daily basis that sets him off? I feel like he would be a tad bit mentally and physically stronger to deal with. I mean, he fricken talked back to STRIKER, a serial killer holding him for ransom locked in a cage last episode??? But he freezes up when an annoying fan criticizes him? Just feels inconsistent.) 

Mammon saying “If you’re a chick, give up on your dreams, because woman ain’t funny” and then Vivziepop’s name appearing in the corner… there’s so much to unpack there. I think Viv meant it as like “I’m a woman, so I can write that joke!” or “I’m a woman, who wrote this show and is therefore funny so Mammon is wrong and it's ironic!” But it's been established that Viv neglects and mistreats her female characters. They’re either all bitches or cardboard cut outs whose entire existences revolve around a male character. It’s low-key sexist. On top of the fact that, Viv may not actually be funny because most of the actually funny jokes in the show were written by Adam and Brandon, who are both men. So its VERY ironic, but not in the way she believes it to be. 

The irony of Mammon hiring an Imp who idolizes him only to exploit him and treat him like garbage… weren’t their exworkers of spindle horse that felt that way? 

Some people think that Fizz’s creepy fan is like.. Viv’s poke at her critics but I don’t see a comparison at all. This guy is a super super big fan that wants to work with Fizz, which isn’t what the Viv critics want. I’m pretty sure that’s the whole point- is that they want nothing to do with her? So I’m pretty sure this guy just represents a creepy fan, which everyone gets. Like a Syndrome character. 

Also in season 1, Blitz killed imps left and right for Stolas, but when that fan is actually getting close to Fizz and threatening his life, Blitz doesn’t kill him on site. He just hits him with a gun. Thank goodness he kills him later but Blitz has never really been discreet. It was just weird forced timing I guess. Season 1 Blitz would have never hesitated. He would have killed that guy on site.

I will never get over Asmodeus’s weird coat, his anatomy changes with whatever he’s wearing lkdsgjldkfj 

Mammon and Fizz are pretty much just Valentino and Angel Dust , but no physical exploitation (other than his robo replicas)

The Glam and Glitz sisters are really cool I’m obsessed with their performance, but we go right back to Viv’s 2 types of women: bitches. They’re bitches to each other too. They’re sisters who have like amazing choreography and on stage chemistry, and yet they constantly fight, like… how do they even function 

ALSO THEY GOT TOM HARDY TO SING HE’S NARRATING THE COMPETITION YOU GOT THE INTERNET’S FAMOUS MUSICAL COMEDIAN TO SING A SONG FOR YOUR “COMEDY” SHOW WHERE THE SONG ISN’T EVEN FUNNY It looks like he wrote it himself but… if even Tom can’t make it funny then who can???? I’m mad on his behalf 

Also… the ASL imp

…. “I want to be a clown just like you! : D “ Fizz: Exploited for money as a clown ever since he was young, gained a boatload of insecurity because his boss was so pushy, forced to deal with sexual encounters, sold his likeness into a popular sex doll without actually wanting to, lost his arms and legs in a freak fire accident because the circus tents aren’t safe- Also Fizz: “You can do whatever you want to : ) “ This would have been a sweet moment if this wasn’t Helluva Boss!!!!!! This is Hell!!! what on earth are you doing Viv!!!! Kid pls do literally anything else with your life  Also how and why does Fiz know ASL

Ozzie and Fizzie getting a love song is cheesy you know, but…. Stolas X Blitz fans wish man… they WISH Oz x FIz is literally just the better Stolas x Blitz. Like this what the Stolitz fans want but its given to the side characters for some reason. Fizz’s end song was nice but All our main characters are just so flat Sad uwu special sweeties that have done nothing wrong... I'm just so sad to see them become former shadows of their badass selves. Our main characters were greedy, selfish, mean, sometimes creepy assholes. Now they're not. It was either an accident, they're hypocrites, or they were abused- and im like... this is Hell, can't we still have our main demon characters be assholes? I'm so curious what the explanation is gonna be for Blitz x Verosika. Is she gonna be framed as the bitch who ruined the relationship? Did Blitz "accidentally" steal her car and credit card because he was drunk? Like what else are we gonna strip away so he's "relatable"?

Nice to see Wally Wackford back I missed him 

I like how fiery Ozz’s design gets Ozzie confessing he loves Fizz to an entire crowd so all of Hell knows and everyone is like “OMG I KNEW IT! GOOD FOR THEM!” Being with a low class demon was something to be ashamed of. A power imbalance. Something seen as taboo in Hell. Now we have 3 top sin embodiments dating the lowest of low class in Hell and not only do people not care negatively, they’re happy for them. There’s no stakes. Our main characters can do whatever they want “You’re gonna regret revealing that Ozz!” how who are you gonna tell? the romance police? fricken Now we have Mammon! Add him to the reoccurring villains I guess!!!! yeesh 

(Clowns are apparently also like… influencers in this world for some reason???? I still don't understand Vivziepop's clown obsession I think this is just not my jurisdiction )

All things considered, not a bad episode for season 2, but im kinda at the point where I don't think helluva boss is gonna deliver anything outside of abused main characters with cute relationships I don't think they're gonna do anything else

[rabarbarzcukrem]

Black Rose Musical save me

So they're starting with Mikage's backstory? Interesting

Actually, I wonder how they'll go about showing that Mamiya was Anthy all along

Mamiya doing that quick spin with Anthy, and then Utena with Tokiko...

I love the "Burn" song, it does a good job at setting the mood for this arc

Ok we're getting a reminder of Utena's story and what happened in the previous musical

I love the way Saionji tosses his hair lmao. Cunty. And how he runs away with that pathetic "UaUaAaaaa!!". he's such a loser

I like how these musicals really want us to associate "the princess was wrapped in the scent of roses" not necessarily with Dios, but with Anthy. She appears every time this line is sung

Ooooh even during the "on the previous episode" part, Mikage and Mamiya are already watching everything from the shadows

Btw, Mikage's voice sounds really similar to the original in my opinion

The parallels between Mamiya and Anthy are so clear, "if you say so, senpai" = "if utena-sama says so"

Akio being introduced so casually when it's obvious that he's super important to the plot also reflects how it happened in anime

Utena/Anthy and Mikage/Mamiya parallels..Mmmm delicious

I looooove how the whole cast is gradually presented (one relationship by one) and then at the end there's Akio with Anthy. Such an amazing way to show the way all these relationships connect and mirror each other

This musical's theme song being about light, mirrors and never letting go of something that might seem like an illusion...huh...

The scenes simultaneously happening on the stage impact each other - Akio is talking with Utena in the tower, but at the same time pushes Kozue towards Miki. Only a stage adaptation would be able to portray it this way

Wait....No kanae?? :((((

Holy shit Mikage's songs have such a creepy sound with the choirs in the background

(Also Mikage pushing Miki, imitating what Akio did to Kozue)

THE ROSE STABBING SCENE. Intense as hell

The contrast between Kozue entering her Dark Era and Wakaba whining about exams lol. Isn't that a perfect encapsulation of the spirit of RGU. The tragi-comedy of it all

The choreography !!

I wonder if there's any significance to the fact that when the cast is standing still singing zettai unmei mokushiroku, Anthy is copying the dance moves of the supporting dancers

The fact that Black Rose duelists have the same skills as the members of the student council showed by having both of them fight Utena at once?? Clever

Also, power of Dios possessing the sword showed by Dios literally fighting alongside Utena

Shame that Kozue didn't do that dramatic falling on the ground thing after her rose got pierced

The egg being called "a cage of freedom". That's a nice way to put it

Saionjeans appears!!

I love shiori already

I can't remember, does Shiori call herself a prodigal daughter in the anime too? Either way that's something I'll be thinking about for the next few days

They did the blood sucking scene 👀 while Shiori and Juri's gay shit was happening 👀

Shiori thinking Juri was reaching for the boy, when she was actually reaching towards her...

Akio walking with the same posture as Touga did... HMMM

They even managed to keep the water motif !

Shiori's horrified expression when she sees her picture...The actress is too good

SHIORI AND JURI FIGHTING SCENE

How did they manage to make them even gayer??

Shiori and Juri taking off each other's roses AAAH

I love that Nanami consistently breaks the fourth wall, it's a perfect thing for her character to do

Wakaba screaming after being stabbed was so heartbreaking...

Akio throwing away that hair clip in the exact same way Touga did with Saionji's exchange diary. Once again: HMMM

Wakaba singing the lines from the first musical about the book she'd read, but this time with her voice breaking, on the verge of crying. I can't stand this

Saionji and Wakaba both singing about a prince on a white horse - Saionji mocking Utena by this, Wakaba actually idealizing Saionji. God, it works so well

Wakaba's duel broke my heart. The actress is so good at capturing the desperation and sorrow in her voice

For the first time Akio is implied to actually have been the one to give Utena the ring...and the way he grabs the supporting dancer and shoves him to the ground. He gives off such sinister vibes

The friendship song is both hopeful and sad because it proves what Akio said - Wakaba had her moment of happiness and specialness but then she had to go back to her normal life of the supporting character. And also because of the fact that while Wakaba and Utena keep singing, Anthy had to go meet up with Akio.. So even though it's heart-warming to see them spend quality time together, none of them really understand what the others are going through

This killed me

"Do you have someone important to you?" And we see the duelists with their black rose counterparts

I almost feel like Mamiya in the flashbacks has slightly different mannerisms that the one in the present impersonated by Anthy.

Mamiya with the candlestick literally SITTING on the COFFIN

"Is (Saionji) going to waltz his ass back in here?" Lmaooo

Did I just imagine it or did Mikage slash Utena on her arm, similarly to how she injured his arm before the duel

Is "Imaginary living body" playing?!?!? Hell yeah!!!

Mikage actually seeing Dios helping Utena fight? Interesting! That's something I didn't expect

I loooove the curtain falling and revealing the projector. That's what I mean when I say that a stage adaptation brings the best out of this anime. There are so many fun visual things like this

I think this arc must have been incredibly difficult to pull off in this form, without being able to do quick cuts and transitions that could be shown in the anime. But they did such a good job! Actually, they kept surprising me with clever ways of adapting the themes of the show to fit this adaptation. I was constantly impressed

The last thing left to say is. PART 3 WHEN

[juliawanag]

Decided to rewatch NATLA to properly form my own takes that’s been running through my mind: (I’ll have both things that I like and dislike.) Part 1

SPOILERS!

I like it like a friend from a hundred years ago: 

First and foremost, NATLA predominantly consists of Asian American Pacific Islanders. Good for them for creating a version that is more in their lens and creativity. 

The Bendiiing. All of the elements, except for Earth, are 10/10. I really want it to be more solid, especially on AangvsBumi. It’s not that bad though, so much better than…well u know. I’ll give it an 8/10. 

I rewatched it with a Filipino dub and it’s good, 9/10. Aang VO was convincing as a kid, so either they’re a great actor or a great kid actor. The jokes (Sokka’s sarcasm) hits better on my mother tongue

"You're my friend. You will always be my friend.” 

Avatar state under the ocean 

The costume. The only one that I do agree with everyone else that lacks is Zuko’s scar. They should’ve put prosthetics on the eyebrow. 

Zuko’s hair? Hello? They did a great job. Even though my sister and I sing Ariana Grande song whenever we see them swaying. It’s an integral part of his story, and I loved that they keep it. There’s an East Asian culture that indicates that kind of haircut as a punishment. I remember my History teacher taught me this in eighth grade but I forgot which it was, my bad. And the actor’s such a champ for having that hair IRL. 

My favorite actor performances: Gordon (Aang) superb acting. Liz (Azula). Utkarsh (Bumi). Justin Wong (Chong/SecretTunnelguy) sounds exactly like the character. Made up for my delusional expectation that Dee Bradley Baker would be in this. Ken Leung (Zhao) pisses me off so much, and that means he’s doing a great job. Dallas (Zuko) & Iroh (Paul). DDK's(Ozai) a natural idk if that's acting /j

Was it established in the OG that Katara's intro is a folklore/legend? Because yeah, I don’t mind that it is considered that way in this version. 

AAAAA, the Lieutenant Jee younger casting makes so much sense now! The 41st division is chef kiss. Zuko cryiiiing when he was being banished!? Dallas Lui ate! 

THE HYBRID ANIMALS LOOOK SO GOOD. The ostrich horse blended well with whoever rides them. It doesn’t look CGI to me. MOMO HIS MOMONESS, MOMO OF THE MOMO DYNASTY 

Any Zuko fight choreography (MY FAVORITE CHOREO DALLAS LOOKS FIIIRE). And Aang’s too (Oh hey).

Aang the Hype Man

The fallen Fire Nation ship behind Zukka fighting. (It’s in my notes idk why but I guess background details are a win) 

Aang and Iroh's interactions

NATLA Zuko (I don’t think there’s much of a difference though with the OG lol, and it’s probably because the NATLA directors/producers like Zuko) 

Camera direction 

The Found Family Hug™, what Netflix can do well.

End scene of Episode 1, is very cinematic. I can’t believe TV shows have come this far. I hope employees are paid well. 

The End Theme remains the saaame, and is added with cinematic effects as well.

The folly/sound effect at the start of Episode 2. Why is this the only episode with that flair? 

Creating a grave for Gyatso.

How Ozai’s forced unity/being totalitarian is represented. Reminds me so much of our own government, it amuses me. I know it’s not directly referencing that though. It’s good that they show it early on I guess. With the Fire Nation culty greeting as well. 

On a lighter note: THE AIR SPHERE/BALL whatevah, yes! More of this goofiness. How about instead of being inspired by GOT, NATLA should be inspired by Stranger Things in terms of fantasy + childhood simplicity balanced by this trauma they're going through. (Well, ST lacks worldbuilding cause it’s just normal Earth but anyway) 

Kyoshi Takeoveeer. I hope Roku gets more screen time someday though. Pls pls pls. 

They incorporated the OG character theme songs! Of course! The ones I noticed right away are the FireNation Siblings’. So if you watched OG Avatar and you watched the scene where a mysterious girl joins the infiltration of the FN Royal Palace, you’ll know who she is. 

Sorry not sorry, Daddy Dae Kim is daddying. (Although he did catch me off guard in Zuko’s Agni Kai lmao.) The plot.

The Aang VS Zuko fight! A reference to the Fortune Teller fight. The team did so well. 

Zuko The Master of Disguise Major In Stealing Clothes. Full-time Avatar researcher. 

A fourth wall foreshadows Bumi’s OOC for this version. Jet’s "he’s not like he used to be" in line. I mean they did warn us. 

Another 4th wall is the line “Things shouldn’t be here” referring to the prototype Fire Nation balloon. 

Nice animation with the retelling of Two Lovers legend.

Lu Ten Funeral scene ate. That single teaaaar. I recommend everyone who loves the animation to watch this scene. To feel something idk AHAHAHAH. 

The actors were convincing when interacting with CGI animals. Specifically the badger moles. 

ZUKO AND IROH SCENES! 

CGI’s great did not waste any money 

In Katara’s flashback. She experienced this in her present form. And when she was so scared to go to the place where her mom was killed, she immediately changed back to her young self. Like, I wanted that so bad when I was watching the flashback. I thought, this shouldn’t be the present-day Katara. There should be a moment when she switches back to young again. And they did. 

Big Iroh moment that makes you cry as an adult when Gyatso was reassuring Aang that the genoc*de wasn’t his fault, and shouldn’t blame himself. Ahh, and the subtle sadness as they say goodbye. 

Random eye drawing from Zuko. He’s an artist AHAHAHAH. Okay, I forgot which episode. Sincerely, unreliable narrator. 

Showing Zuko's scar when Aang says "Do you even know that lives are at stake". 

Basically every scene/plot they 1 by 1 copy from the show. Did not disappoint (well, maybe because OG showrunners were there). Blue Spirit, Siege of the North. 

Zuko’s room. I love me some character bedrooms. He’s like a TV Sitcom character for that. 

Gaang teamwork scenes! It works and it's dynamic. 

Hahn as an honorable man? Yes. I don’t like love triangles so much. I like me some camaraderie. And Ian (Sokka) acted well for feeling included and seen as Hahn recognized his value as warrior/intel. 

Zutara fight scene.

Two points that I don’t know if I like but it makes me realize some stuff:

Meek Katara. I know there are specific plot points that Feisty Katara is needed. But she was always nurturing, so I think it makes sense she’s…meek? That Jet scene explains it. Maybe because I relate to her being a log AHAHAHAH. But yeah, uh, I do not, ironically, have strong feelings against that water down.

Angry Bumi. IDK how to feel about him tbh. I always think Bumi is…harsh like that. Almost scary. But yeah, he never blames Aang. Still, it doesn’t feel out of place here. He will return anyway so he’s not this one-dimensional character that is only angry at his friend (hopefully). I never thought of how Bumi would actually feel. And that he will be upset, and now it’s sad because that’s like your friend when you were twelve years old and you wonder where he’s been all this time, and if he’s alive. And..war..never made it any better to process that emotion. So, we got two versions, one that is cautious and then eventually welcomes him, and another who's completely angry and blames a literal kid that he does not know the pain (from the war). Too real, and I personally don’t mind. 

[angelosearch]

My initial screaming thoughts on the Avatar the Last Air Bender live action remake on Netflix. Spoilers for eps 1-4 below, will watch 5-8 later today probably.

I want to hug this casting director and also ask them how they pulled the chacters straight out of the cartoon and made them real.

IROH IS SO GOOD OMG

Lol wow the dialogue is really leaving nothing up to the imagination. Exposition exposition exposition. Get why they are doing it this way but it gets reeeeeally clunky sometimes.

We must say the exact number of years that everything has happened and everyone's age

hope line in ep 1 is straight out of Ember Island Players

WOW THE BENDING

WOW THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

The ostrich horses are chocobos and I am not taking any questions

😭 The airbender genocide is horrifying (as it should be)

Animals are a tad uncanny valley but I am okay with it

I appreciate that they kept so much of the original music even though it feels a little out of place for something live action

The tone is much more mature. The themes are different in a good way - they haven't changed much of what exists in the canon, just shifted focus. Adult side characters are getting more story. Stakes feel higher. Violence! Grittiness!

Firebenders are really fucking evil so they need to balance it with more morally gray/evil earthbenders and more upfront sympathy/development for Iroh and Zuko

This show could be enjoyable to someone who has never seen the cartoon before but it is definitely written for us, those who had our hearts broken by the movie

Sokka is not overtly sexist and honestly I'm okay with it. I like that arc for him in the animated tv show but with the tone of the live action, he couldn't just be funny sexist, he would have to be dark sexist and that just wouldn't be Sokka. Plus I like how they focus more on Sokka's sense of duty because it creates a good foil for Aang.

I was never really a big Sokka/Suki shipper but DAMN.

KYOSHI PLEASE STEP ON ME ALL I REALLY WANNA BE A GIANT WOMAN OMG THEY TOOK STUFF FROM THE BOOKS

I am getting more Zutara vibes rn than Katara/Aang idk

Okay they are condensing the plot but in really smart ways. We aren't losing much.

The set design. The costuming. SO PERFECT. Ohmashu looked great.

DANIEL PUDI AAAAHHHHHHHH

THE. CABBAGE. MERCHANT. 10/10 IT'S THE VOICEACTOR THEY CAST HIM IN THE LIVE ACTION

they mention secret tunnels. Are they gonna do it? Are they gonna keep it in?? YEEEESSSS FUCK YES OKAY THIS REMAKE IS AMAZING

I really like how they made the tunnels about sibling love tbh

Utkarsh Ambudkar disappears into the role of Bumi and it is SO GOOD

Me: *cries as Zuko comforts Iroh at Lu Ten's funeral* My husband: "Wait, listen to the music" Me: *listens* *lays down* *CRIES A LOT*

This show is very focused on showing what a 100 year war does to people and I think that was a good direction to take

Overall I am VERY happy with it. They understood the assignment, there is a ton of love for the show weaved into it, and I am excited to see more.

[catgrump]

Im sure this comes as a major shock to you, but soniaki is my favorite ship. Would you write me something for these wonderful girls?

Sincerely, my dumb Lesbian ass

Hi Air I have an idea for u I hope u like it uwu (it took me a while to write and I am so sorry for the delay)

Non Despair AU bby!!!!

🌻🌻🌻

Chiaki sat on a metal, backless bench in the lobby, resisting the urge to pull out her phone or her Switch.

Sonia said she’d be here soon. This was just an exercise in patience.

Chiaki picked out a pretty stellar spot for their second date. Sonia took her to an arcade for their first date, since she knew it was something Chiaki would like. So now, Chiaki wanted to return the favor by picking out a place she thought Sonia would enjoy.

“Chiaki!” She perked her head up and saw Sonia bouncing toward her in an adorable all-black ensemble.

She stood up from the bench as Sonia approached, knowing Sonia was a hugger. Her heart fluttered as Sonia’s arms wrapped around her.

“I have been anticipating this surprise all week!” Sonia clasped her hands together with a sparkle in her gorgeous ocean eyes, “Please reveal it! I cannot stand the suspense any longer!”

Chiaki nervously took Sonia’s hand, feeling how soft it was. “It’s this way, I think.”

Holding hands, Chiaki led Sonia through the mall, looking for the very obvious front gate of their destination

As soon as Sonia saw where they were going, she let out a delighted gasp. “A castle!? In a mall!?”

Well, by looking at its exterior, Chiaki could tell it was just an extension of the mall with a castle-themed exterior, but she didn’t want to ruin Sonia’s excitement.

“Yeah, we’re having dinner here, and there’s a jousting show. I thought you might like it cuz it’s all Medieval Themed,” Chiaki said with a smile

“Jousting?” Sonia squeezed Chiaki’s hand a little tighter, “Are there live horses in there?”

“Yeah, that’s what the website said, I think,” Chiaki could feel the heat rising to her face, “I already got our tickets, so let’s go inside.”

Sonia dragged Chiaki to the main entrance while Chiaki took the laminated cards out of the pocket of her jacket

After waiting in line for a few moments— Sonia’s hand not letting go of Chiaki— they were greeted by two staff members in green tunics. They asked to see their table cards, and Chiaki showed them the laminated papers.

The staff member closest to them said “Ah tonight you will be cheering for the Red Knight,” as they placed red paper crowns on each of their heads

Sonia couldn’t stop smiling. As they moved forward in line, they were greeted by a new staff member in a blue blouse, red skirt, and corset. They asked to see the numbers on Chiaki’s cards, and wrote it down. “Alright, good ladies, please step this way for a royal portrait with the Queen.”

Sonia turned to Chiaki, beaming. Chiaki swore she heard Sonia squeal under her breath as they approached a taller woman dressed in burgundy and gold finery.

Sonia asked the actress countless questions about her kingdom while Chiaki smiled at her. She is so cute, She couldn’t help but think

A staff member holding a camera directed everyone to stand together, and Sonia took hold of Chiaki’s hand again, bringing her close for the photo

Afterwards, Sonia wanted to see everything. With their fingers laced together, Sonia scoured every corner of the massive lobby with Chiaki. Chiaki watched as her date’s long blonde hair sashayed across her back as she was taken to all the spots to visit

Sonia especially liked the gift shop corner. She admired all the trinkets on display, and audibly gasped when she saw one corner that was just swords. “If only I could bring one back to campus!” She sighed

Chiaki felt overwhelmed imagining Sonia wielding a sword. That’s... very hot.

Sonia expressed her sheer wonder while they waited in the lobby, and Chiaki was hanging on every word

Once it was time to go in for the show, Sonia was too distracted by the colorful arena, so Chiaki paid attention to the staff members guiding them to their seats.

They didn’t let go of their hands as they walked down stairs toward red high tables, illuminated by red stage lights. They sat in the second row toward the aisle, Sonia barely able to contain herself in her seat

After some time, a server came by and explained how the evening would work to them and the other attendants in their section. They’d be served a four-course meal (with no untensils) while they watch the knights compete in a tournament.

“Chiaki, thank you so much,” Sonia took Chiaki’s arm and leaned in close, “This is so exciting!”

Chiaki took a chance. There’s no way this could backfire. She kissed Sonia on the cheek. “It’s no problem.”

Sonia was smiling coyly when Chiaki pulled away. God, she’s so cute. The red lights above them made her look like her entire face was flushed. Reds and pinks look nice on her.

Once the show started, Chiaki had trouble paying attention. Her focus was on Sonia, who was completely absorbed in the fiction.

And Chiaki noticed every little thing Sonia did.

Her eyes sparkled when she saw the Queen and her knights on horseback

She applauded with glee every chance she got

She clutched Chiaki’s arm once again when the host of the show announced the arrival of a trained falcon, and leaned her head on Chiaki’s shoulder as the bird flew around the arena

During the games portion, whenever the Red Knight got enough points, he would be rewarded with flowers from the Queen. Sonia’s joy must have been noticeable, because at one point, the knight tossed carnations toward them. Chiaki, using her honed reflexes, made sure to catch it, and placed it behind Sonia’s ear.

She sighed as she rested her head on Chiaki again while the ‘Master of Horse’ performed various tricks

When the fighting began, Chiaki was surprised by how much passion Sonia placed in cheering. The knights had elaborate combat choreography, and Sonia was at the edge of her seat.

The Red Knight didn’t win, unfortunately. The Blue Knight was victorious instead. But that didn’t ruin Sonia’s fun.

By the time they made it on the bus to head back to campus, Sonia seemed to have worn herself out. Normally it’s Chiaki who’s falling asleep at the drop of a dime, but she held on to Sonia’s bag of souvenirs (and her hand), letting her rest on the ride back home.

Requests are still open!

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[popculty]

52 Films by Women: 2020 Edition

Another annual challenge complete!

Last year, I focused on diversifying my list. This year I kept that intention but focused on watching more non-American films and films from the 20th century. Specifically, I sought out Agnès Varda’s entire filmography, after her death in 2019. (I was not disappointed - What a filmmaking legend we lost.) 

I also kept a film log for the first time and have included some of my thoughts on several films from that log. I made a point of including reviews both positive and negative, because I think it’s important to acknowledge the variability and breadth of the canon, so as not to put every film directed by a woman on a pedestal. (Although movies directed by women must clear a much higher bar to be greenlit, meaning generally higher quality...But that’s an essay for another day :)

* = directed by a woman of color

bold = fave

1. The Rhythm Section (2020) dir. Reed Morano - Not as good as it could have been, given Morano’s proven skill behind the camera, but also not nearly as bad as the critics made it out to be. And unbelievably refreshing to see a female revenge story not driven by sexual assault or the loss of a husband/child.

2. Cléo de 5 à 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda - If you ever wanted to take a real-time tour of Paris circa 1960, this is the film for you.

3. Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig - Still my favorite Little Women adaptation. I will re-watch it every year and cry.

4. Varda by Agnès (2019) dir. Agnès Varda & Didier Rouget

5. Booksmart (2019) dir. Olivia Wilde - An instant classic high school comedy romp that subverts all the gross tropes of its 1980s predecessors.

6. Girls of the Sun (2018) dir. Eva Husson

7. Blue My Mind (2017) dir. Lisa Brühlmann

8. Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) dir. Céline Sciamma - Believe the hype. This film is a master thesis on the female gaze, and also just really effing gorgeous.

9. Belle Epine (2010) dir. Rebecca Zlotowski

10. Vamps (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling - With Krysten Ritter and Alicia Silverstone as modern-day vampires, I was so ready for this movie. But it feels like a bad stage play or a sit-com that’s missing a laugh-track. Bummer.

11. *Birds of Prey (2020) dir. Cathy Yan - Where has this movie been all our lives?? Skip the next onslaught of Snyder-verse grim-darkery and give me two more of these STAT! 

12. She’s Missing (2019) dir. Alexandra McGuinness

13. The Mustang (2019) dir. Laure de Clermont-Tonnere - Trigger warning for the “protagonist” repeatedly punching a horse in the chest. I noped right out of there.

14. Monster (2003) dir. Patty Jenkins – I first watched this movie when I was probably too young and haven’t revisited it since. The rape scene traumatized me as a kid, but as an adult I appreciate how that trauma is not the center of the movie, or even of Aileen’s life. Everyone still talks about how Charlize “went ugly” for this role, but the biggest transformation here isn’t aesthetic, it’s physical – the way Theron replicates Wuernos’ mannerisms, way of speaking, and physicality. That’s why she won the Oscar. I also love that Jenkins calls the film “Monster” (which everyone labels Aileen), but then actually uses it to tell the story of how she fell in love with a woman when she was at her lowest, and that saved her. That’s kind of beautiful, and I’m glad I re-watched it so that I could see the story in that light, instead of the general memory I had of it being a good, feel-bad movie. It’s so much more than that.

15. Water Lilies (2007) dir. Céline Sciamma – Sciamma’s screenwriting and directorial debut, the first in her trilogy on youth, is as painfully beautiful as its sequels (Tomboy and Girlhood). It’s also one of the rare films that explores the overlap of queerness and girl friendships.

16. The Trouble with Angels (1966) dir. Ida Lupino – Movies about shenanigan-based female friendships are such rare delights. Rosalind Russel is divine as Mother Superior, and Hayley Mills as “scathingly brilliant” as the pranks she plays on her. Ida Lupino’s skill as an editor only enhances her directing, providing some truly iconic visual gags to complement dialogue snappy enough for Gilmore Girls. 

17. Vagabond (1985) dir. Agnès Varda – Shot with a haunting realism, this film has no qualms about its heroine’s inevitable, unceremonious death, which it opens with, matter-of-factly, before retracing her final (literal) steps to the road-side ditch she ends up in. (I’m partly convinced said heroine was the inspiration for Sarah Manning in Orphan Black.)

18. One Sings, The Other Doesn’t (1977) dir. Agnès Varda – Probably my favorite classic Varda, this film feels incredibly personal. It’s essentially a love story about two best friends with very different lives. For an indie made in the ‘70s, the diversity, scope, and themes of the film are impressive. Even if the second half a drags a bit, the first half is absolute perfection, engaging the viewer immediately, and clipping along, sprinkling in some great original songs that were way progressive for their time (about abortion, female bodily autonomy, etc) and could still be considered “bangers” today.

19. Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

20. Black Panthers (1969) dir. Agnès Varda

21. Into the Forest (2016) dir. Patricia Rozema - When the world was ending (i.e. the pandemic hit) this was the first movie I turned to - a quiet, meditative story of two sisters (Elliot Page and Evan Rachel Wood) surviving off the land after a sudden global blackout. Four years later, it’s still one of my favorite book-to-screen adaptations. I fondly remember speaking with director Patricia Rozema at the 2016 Chicago Critics Film Festival after a screening, her love for the source material and desire to “get it right” so apparent. I assured her then, and reaffirm now, that she really did.

22. City of Trees (2019) dir. Alexandra Swarens

23. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) dir. Eliza Hittmann - To call this a harrowing and deeply personal journey of a sixteen-year-old who must cross state lines to get an abortion would be accurate, but incomplete. It is a story so much bigger than that, about the myriad ways women’s bodies and boundaries are constantly violated.

24. Paradise Hills (2019) dir. Alice Waddington

25. *Eve’s Bayou (1996) dir. Kasi Lemmons – I’ve been meaning to watch Kasi Lemmons’ directorial debut for many years now, and I’m so glad I finally have, because it fully deserves its icon status, beyond being one of the first major films directed by a black woman. Baby Jurnee Smollett's talent was immediately recognizable, and she has reminded us of it in Birds of Prey and Lovecraft Country this year. If merit was genuinely a factor for Oscar contenders, she would have taken home gold at eleven years old. Beasts of the Southern Wild has been one of my all-time favorites, but now I realize that most of my appreciation for that movie actually goes to Lemmons for blazing the trail with her story of a young black girl from the bayou first. It’s also a surprisingly dark story about memory and abuse and familial relationships that cross lines - really gutsy and surprising themes, especially for the ‘90s.

26. Blow the Man Down (2019) dir. Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy - Come and get your sea shanty fix!

27. Touchy Feely (2013) dir. Lynn Shelton - R.I.P. :(

28. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (2020) dir. Madeleine Parry - If you thought Gadsby couldn’t follow up 2018′s sensational Nanette with a comedy special just as sharp and hilarious, you would have been sorely mistaken.

29. Girlhood (2013) dir. Céline Sciamma

30. Breathe (2014) dir. Mélanie Laurent

31. *A Dry White Season (1989) dir. Euzhan Palcy

32. Laggies (2014) dir. Lynn Shelton

33. *The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood – Everything I’ve ever wanted in an action movie: Immortal gays, Charlize Theron wielding a labrys (battle axe), kinetic fight choreography I haven’t seen since the last Bond movie…Watched it twice, then devoured the comics it was adapted from, and I gotta say: in the hands of black women, it eclipses the source material. Cannot wait for the just-announced sequel.

34. Morvern Callar (2002) dir. Lynn Ramsay

35. Shirley (2020) dir. Josephine Decker

36. *Radioactive (2019) dir. Marjane Satrapi – The story is obviously well worth telling and the narrative structure – weaving in the future consequences of Curie’s discoveries – is clever, but a bit awkwardly executed and overly manipulative. There are glimpses of real brilliance throughout, but it feels as if the director’s vision was not fully realized, to my great disappointment. Nonetheless, I appreciated seeing Marie Curie's story being told by a female director and embodied by the always wonderful Rosamund Pike.

37. *The Half of It (2020) dir. Alice Wu - I feel like a real scrooge for saying this, but this movie did nothing for me. Nothing about it felt fresh, authentic or relatable. A real disappointment from the filmmaker behind the wlw classic Saving Face.

38. Mouthpiece (2018) dir. Patricia Rozema - I am absolutely floored. One of those films that makes you fall in love with the art form all over again. Patricia Rozema continues to prove herself one of the most creatively ambitious and insightful directors of our time, with this melancholic meditation on maternal grief and a woman’s duality.

39. Summerland (2020) dir. Jessica Swale - The rare period wlw love story that is not a) all-white or b) tragedy porn. Just lovely.

40. *The Last Thing He Wanted (2020) dir. Dee Rees – As rumored, a mess. Even by the end, I still couldn’t tell you who any of the characters are. Dee, we know you’re so much better than this! (see: Mudbound, Pariah)

41. *Cuties (2020) dir. Maïmouna Doucouré – I watched this film to 1) support a black woman director who has been getting death threats for her work and 2) see what all the fuss is about. While I do think there were possibly some directorial choices that could have saved quite a bit of the pearl-clutching, overall, I didn’t find it overly-exploitative or gross, as many (who obviously haven’t actually watched the film) have labeled it. It certainly does give me pause, though, and makes me wonder whether children can ever be put in front of a camera without it exploiting or causing harm to them in some way. It also makes one consider the blurry line between being a critique versus being an example. File this one under complicated, for sure.

42. A Call to Spy (2019) Lydia Dean Pilcher – An incredible true story of female spies during WWII that perfectly satisfied my itch for British period drama/spy thriller and taught me so much herstory I didn’t know.

43. Kajillionaire (2020) dir. Miranda July - I was lucky enough to attend the (virtual) premiere of this film, followed by an insightful cast/director Q&A, which only made me appreciate it more. July's offbeat dark comedy about a family of con artists is queerer and more heartfelt than it has any right to be, and a needed reprieve in a year of almost entirely white wlw stories. The family's shenanigans are the hook, but it's the budding relationship between Old Dolio (an almost unrecognizable Evan Rachel Wood) and aspiring grifter Melanie (the luminous Gina Rodriguez) that is the heart of the story.

44. Misbehaviour (2020) dir. Philippa Lowthorpe – Again, teaching me herstory I didn’t know, about how the Women’s Liberation Movement stormed the 1970 Miss World Pageant. Keira Knightley and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s characters have a conversation in a bathroom at the end of the film that perfectly eviscerates well-meaning yet ignorant white feminism, without ever pitting women against each other - a feat I didn’t think was possible. I also didn’t think it was possible to critique the male gaze without showing it (*ahem Cuties, Bombshell, etc*), but this again, invents a way to do it. Bless women directors.

45. *All In: The Fight for Democracy (2020) dir. Liz Garbus and Lisa Cortes – 2020’s 13th. Thank god for Stacey Abrams, that is all.

46. *The 40-Year-Old Version (2020) dir. Radha Blank – This scene right here? I felt that in my soul. This whole film is so good and funny and heartfelt and relatable to any artist trying to walk that tightrope of “making it” while not selling their soul to make it. My only initial semi-note was that it’s a little long, but after hearing Radha Blank talk about how she fought for the two-hour run-time as a way of reclaiming space for older black women, I take it back. She’s right: Let black women take up space. Let her movie be as long as she wants it to be. GOOD FOR HER.

47. Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea Duvall - Hoooo boy. What was marketed as the first lesbian Christmas rom-com is actually a horror movie for anyone who’s ever had to come out. Throw in casual racism and a toxic relationship treated as otp, and it’s YIKES on so many levels. Aubrey Plaza, Dan Levy, and an autistic-coded Jane are the only (underused) highlights.

48. *Monkey Beach (2020) dir. Loretta Todd

49. *Little Chief (2020) dir. Erica Tremblay – A short film part of the 2020 Red Nation Film Festival, it’s a perfect eleven minutes that I wish had gone on longer, if only to bask in Lily Gladstone in a leading role.

50. First Cow (2019) dir. Kelly Reichardt – I know Kelly Reichardt’s style, so I’ll admit-- even as I was preparing for an excellent film, I was also reaching for my phone, planning on only half paying attention during all the inevitable 30-second shots of grass blowing in the wind. (And yes, there are plenty of those.) But twenty minutes in, my phone was set aside and forgotten, as I am getting sucked into this beautiful story about two frontiersman trying to live their best domestic life.There is only one word to describe this film and that is: PURE. I’ve never seen such a tender platonic relationship between men on screen before, and it’s not lost on me that it took a woman to show us that tenderness. Reichardt gives us two men brought together by fate, and kept together by a shared dream and the simple pleasure of not being alone in such a hard world; two men who spend their days cooking, trapping, baking, and dreaming of a better life; two men who don’t say much, but feel everything for each other. The world would be a much better place if men showed us this kind of vulnerability and friendship toward each other. Oh, and it’s also a brutal take-down of capitalism and the myth of the American Dream!

51. Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) dir. Patty Jenkins - My most-anticipated film for the past two years was...well, a mixed bag, to say the least. Too many thoughts on it for a blog post, so stay tuned for the upcoming podcast ep where we go all in ;)

52. *Selah and the Spades (2019) dir. Tayarisha Poe

I hope this gives you some ideas to kick off your new year with a resolution to support more female directors!

What were your favorite women-directed movies of last year? Let me know in the tags, comments, or asks!

[whatwouldmickeydo]

I totally get the weird spirals our minds send us to?? I’ve been binge listening to the podcast Snapped on Spotify and let me TELL YOU i am all about sorority structures without ever having been a part of one.

Seriously!!

I wish I could get into podcasts because there’s so many that have such interesting themes but my brain can’t concentrate very well on them unfortunately ☹️

The wormholes of Youtube videos I’ve watched about the most random of things I’ve fixated on seems to grow every year.

Before fascinating horror I was obsessed with watching videos about this parrot trainer and how she rehabilitates large exotic birds. I don’t own birds. I don’t ever want a bird. But watching her train these birds and learning why they behave the way they do is so freaking fascinating. (Biggest takeaway: no one should own exotic birds.)

Before that was a horse trainer that I watched at least twenty videos of. I’ve never owned a horse nor do I have any real interest in interacting with one.

The amount of dance choreography videos I’ve watched despite having no dance background or any real notion to learn.

Before that was hours and hours of police interrogation videos and discussions of how they get confessions

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in September

I skipped a month again. But not to worry. This is a wrap-up of all the movies I watched in the month of September (2021). I think I maintained a steady ratio throughout but perhaps there’s not as much on the list this time because I wanted to get on with other things, be that work-wise or just trying to get out to the beach as much as possible and make the most of the last dregs of summertime. I went swimming in the sea a lot! But I also got to catch the new James Wan movie, Malignant (twice!) as well as the new James Bond, No Time To Die. Not to mention a couple of classics! My hope again with this list is to introduce people to new movies that they may otherwise not have seen or perhaps have never have heard of. These short reviews are my own subjective opinions on each individual movie. I’m thinking maybe a more informal approach to movie criticism can help include others who are just passing through. So here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of September.

Fanny and Alexander (1982) - 8/10

Coming from Ingmar Bergman, I was surprised to see just how warm this was. I’m a big fan of the Swedish director and while this isn’t my favourite from him (perhaps due to it needing a second watch, or the fact I watched it in three chunks because it’s about three hours long and I overestimated how much time I had in the day) it’s still an interesting departure from what I’ve come to expect from him. Fanny and Alexander is a dreamy Christmassy movie that presents an overarching theme of love, spending a large portion of its runtime just hanging out with this big family on Christmas and showing how close they are. I would love to watch this again at some point in December and see how my opinion shifts but for now, while it could meandre in places, I can’t deny how unique a movie it is.

Another Round (2021) - 10/10

I had seen Thomas Vinterberg’s latest film before this point but this was the first time I got to see it in a cinema. Luckily for me my local independent cinema was showing it one night and while they had a few technical hiccups with setting everything up, the movie itself was still fantastic. Following a handful of school teachers who experiment with whether they can maintain a certain level of blood alcohol throughout the day, Another Round demonstrates a sense of unease and sadness throughout an otherwise comedic tone. These emotions are balanced perfectly, boosting an already intriguing concept that examines our relationship with alcohol from every angle.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - 4/10

Straight after Another Round, I made my way to the chain cinema to meet up with friends to see the new Marvel movie. At this point, having had my second dose of the Covid vaccine that morning, I was starting to feel the effects and I was not doing well. But I watched the movie anyway, all the while wanting to be in bed. Shang-Chi was massively underwhelming and I’d go as far as to say it was even incompetent. Truth be told,  I like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but from the get-go I already wasn’t hyped for this movie and I was expecting it to be about mediocre but what I got was something a lot worse. I won’t rehash what I’ve already said on this film so if you want to hear me rant about it a bit then I would recommend checking out episode 47 of my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon.

Your Name. (2016) - 6/10

Ultimately this was a fun little romance movie but I can’t say I understand why people adore it, nor do I understand why it needed to be animated. For what it’s worth, I found it cute and entertaining but nothing much jumped out to me.

Phil Wang: Philly Philly Wang Wang (2021) - 7/10

I’m always stumped on what to say about stand-up shows. It was good! I enjoyed Phil Wang talking about different things in a funny way and it got some laughs out of me. Admittedly I’m writing this a couple of weeks after watching it but it’s certainly a decent way to spend an hour if you’re looking for something light and fun.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017) - 6/10

I remember seeing this in the cinema with two of my friends and the theatre wasn’t exactly packed but those that were there were either children or parents. But I like The Lego Batman Movie! Clearly this was made by fans of the character as it’s packed with a lot of details and references from old comic runs but as someone who has never read the comics or seen those older movies, it still managed to be entertaining and while I won’t say it’s quite as good as The Lego Movie, the animation is still top notch and the voice actors are certainly giving it their all, especially Will Arnett as the titular character. It’s just a bit of fun!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) - 10/10

A friend of mine told me to go to the screening of Terminator 2 at my local because they themselves weren’t able to attend. The first Terminator movie is a real gem and one of the most 80’s-type movies I’ve ever seen. I was excited to watch T2, remembering next to nothing about what I watched of it when I was a child. So it was just me in this screening, with one person in a row in front of me, and one other person behind me. If I had it my way, I would have been the only person there because this is honestly one of the best movies I’ve ever seen and it was very hard not to yell out every time something incredible happened, especially when it’s so action-packed and basically goes all out at every opportunity to deliver some of the most jaw-dropping effects or choreography. Truly there is never a dull moment and I was grinning like a lunatic the entire time. This film rocks!

Mirror (1975) - 7/10

Andrei Tarkovsky is one of my favourite directors and the new Criterion release of his film, Mirror, had been on my shelf for a while. My friend and fellow podcast co-host, Chris, was also interested in watching this movie so we decided we’d give it a watch and review it on the podcast. But this is such a weirdly structured film that the entire way through, neither of us knew what on earth was happening. What we got from the experience is reflected in the episode we made and I would love to watch this again at some point, hopefully with more context and a better understanding of what I’m in for. But in the meantime, you can hear the discussion on episode 46 of the podcast.

The Night House (2021) - 6/10

The Night House is David Bruckner’s follow-up to his previous movie, The Ritual and while I’ll say I prefer The Ritual, this is still a decent watch, just don’t go in expecting horror. More of my thoughts can be found in episode 46 of the podcast.

The Ritual (2017) - 7/10

After watching The Night House, I decided to go back to the director’s previous film, The Ritual and I got a lot more out of it this time around. Themes of guilt and grief permeate the movie and the result is this weird and unnerving film about a group of guys who go hiking in Sweden after the death of one of their friends and encounter dark forces beyond their comprehension. It can be drawn out at times and probably could have been boosted with a better script but there are so many interesting and strange ideas presented that culminate in a haunting third act that it’s worth watching just to see what on earth they’re being hunted by.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) - 10/10

Straight after recording an episode about our favourite movies on the podcast, I returned to one of my all-time favourites. Holy Grail is such a fantastically funny movie with so many memorable lines and moments that it’s become a staple in the comedy genre. Setting it in Arthurian England is a surefire way to make sure it stands the test of time, making use of the budget in a way that heightens the comedy, for example: not being able to get horses and so resorting to having a man banging two coconut halves together as they skip through the grassy terrain. It’s the writing that really takes centre stage here; the guys from Monty Python were/are geniuses. A couple more points were made on my podcast so please do listen to that to hear more: Episode 46 of The Sunday Movie Marathon

Malignant (2021) - 7/10

The new James Wan movie was bonkers! I saw this one twice in quick succession without hesitation. To find out why I love it so much, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10

We got a marathon of the first three Nightmare on Elm Street movies on the podcast so we watched them in quick succession within a day. This first movie is a true masterpiece of its time. For more insight, listen to episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) - 2/10

Quite an embarrassing departure from the genius and fun of the original. Elm Street 2 is not only technically unfulfilling but a wholly unentertaining movie to boot. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) - 3/10

While only a few hairs better than its predecessor, Elm Street 3 is still a mere shadow of the original. All in all, these second and third instalments in the franchise have put me off watching any of the others. More thoughts in episode 47 of the podcast.

Her (2013) - 10/10

Her is at once a beautiful love story between a man and an AI, and a scarily accurate look at how technology is expanding and moving forward. It uses warm colours and smooth camera work to create something that feels homely and safe, juxtaposing the often cold and dark feeling of science-fiction films to tell an intrinsically human story. What would it be like to go through this and what are the hurdles that need to be overcome? Her is a masterpiece of filmmaking and it left me emotionally exhausted in all the right ways.

Alien (1979) - 10/10

First time I’ve seen Alien in the cinema (as I was too busy not being born yet to see it on an initial release) and it was amazing! This is cosmic horror at its best. With all the eerie sound design, slow and deliberate camera movement, and outstanding effects, there’s no wonder as to why this is considered one of the greats and seeing it on the big screen was enthralling.

Aliens (1986) - 8/10

I had never seen Aliens before so the opportunity to see it for the first time in a cinema was one I could not pass up, especially since I was able to see it straight after the first. This is more of an action movie than the first one and as that, it was really something to see. While I don’t think it quite measures up to the original, James Cameron does bring a style to it that makes it something completely different while still feeling in line with its predecessor. A problem I’ve found as time goes on is that I don’t find myself thinking much about Aliens whatsoever and that’s probably down to its characters who generally I found quite weak. I’m already not big on standard action flicks and this is a clear cut above those but it does still fall victim to the trappings. That being said, I would in no way call this bad or even mediocre because it was a lot fun and being able to see it in the cinema is an experience I’m very grateful for.

Gunpowder Milkshake (2021) - 6/10

Gunpowder Milkshake is trying very hard to be John Wick and although it never really manages it, there is still fun to be had with its action (because really that’s all this movie has to offer). There’s a very creative scene in which Karen Gillan has to fight some goons in a hospital with a gun taped to one hand and a scalpel taped to the other, with the caveat being that her arms don’t work. Despite that and a good enough performance from Gillan, the rest is very goofy, with a villain about as intriguing as an advert for life insurance and a story that to say the least, leaves much to be desired.

I Lost My Body (2019) - 10/10

Another one for the podcast, I Lost My Body is a glorious cerebral animated piece that hits every nerve in my body. Listen to episode 48 for more.

Alice In Wonderland (1951) - 10/10

Perhaps the best early Disney movie in my humble opinion. Alice In Wonderland is complete insanity, doing things simply for the sake of it in a beguiling dreamlike take on Lewis Carroll’s classic book. Listen to episode 48 of The Sunday Movie Marathon for more.

WALL-E (2008) - 9/10

WALL-E is one of Pixar’s best. It is a cautionary tale of where the world is headed wrapped in a sweet story about going to the ends of the solar system in order to help those you love. I do however have one big problem with this movie and you can find out more in episode 48 of the podcast.

Killing Them Softly (2012) - 6/10

A lot about America’s economy at the time, Killing Them Softly goes about showing the lengths people will go to for money and yes it is generally solid with a fantastic speech by Brad Pitt to cap it off, but it cannot avoid meandering scenes of listless dialogue that neither engage me nor make me care about the characters it presents.

The Dirties (2013) - 6/10

Funny! The Dirties is a mockumentary about two guys making a movie about bullies in their school. While often it was generally chugging along and making me laugh, it tended to err on the side of plain as regards its presentation. A lot of scenes happen for the sake of it and in a movie that’s around an hour and twenty, it’s amazing I still managed to dip out in the latter half. More thoughts in episode 49 of the podcast.

Telstar: The Joe Meek Story (2009) - 3/10

Ah, I really hated this. I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. Just listen to episode 49 of the podcast to hear what I had to say.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) - 10/10

This is my favourite movie! I got to talk about it on my podcast! Listen to episode 49 of The Sunday Movie Marathon to hear what I have to say!

No Time To Die (2021) - 8/10

Best Bond movie? Perhaps. I’ve not seen every Bond movie but of the ones I have seen (which does include all of Daniel Craig’s run), this is as good as it gets. Despite a near three hour runtime, No Time To Die felt as though it wasted very little. I’ve always complained that I could never follow the plot to these movies because often I simply didn’t care about it; for me it’s more about the action and seeing Daniel Craig be James Bond. No Time To Die does not escape some of the general tropes that often don’t leave me thinking I’ve watched something masterful but what I will say in its favour is that it’s fucking fun! Don’t expect to love it if you already dislike these movies because generally it stays in the same vein as the others before it, but for Bond fans it’s something totally enjoyable. Captivating cinematography, biting fight choreography and action set-pieces, a core struggle for James who actually goes through relatable hardships his time round, coping with being part of a family and trying to keep them safe.

I was happy to see a bit more attention paid to female characters this go round; in a franchise that often glamorizes Bond’s sexual promiscuity and ability to woo any woman he likes, it was much more refreshing to see that he often did need help from a lot of badass, well written female characters.

No Time To Die has been waiting to be released for a long time now and now it’s actually out, I’m pleased it’s not hot garbage. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The final swan song for Craig’s fifteen-year tenure as one of cinema’s most recognisable heroes outdoes all that came before it. Bravo.

[letshaikyuu]

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐔 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞

➻ entry fee: this free cocktail 🍸 given by yours truly

Welcome to ‘El Ray’, Tumblr’s hottest new strip club. During tonight’s opening show, we will see the following acts:

ѕємι єιтα - chippendale αкααѕнι кєιנι - works exclusively for private parties and VIP clientele  кєηмα кσzυмє - regular stripper мιуα αтѕυмυ - works exclusively for private parties and VIP clientele  нαηαмαкι тαкαнιяσ - male revue мαтѕυкαωα ιѕѕєι - regular stripper

Enjoy the show 🍸 (ft. bartender Kuroo)

⤜ 𝐒𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐄𝐢𝐭𝐚 ⤛

Semi Eita is not your regular stripper. He is part of a touring dance troupe that is known for a distinctive upper body costume that consists of a bow tie, collar and shirt cuffs worn on a bare torso. Just imagine Eita in such an outfit, bish please.

It’s extremely difficult to enjoy such an experience with Semi because he is a top notch stripper and you’ll need to pay good money to watch him perform. His presence on stage is so eye-catching that the rest of the troupe kind of blends together into the dark background and he becomes the center of everyone’s attention

His upper torso and shoulders are not as broad as some other strippers’, but his moves are so smooth and his presence on stage is so enchanting that you can’t avert your eyes from his dancing figure. Once you catch his eye, he sticks to you and only you. His smirk is bigger, his moves are more sensual and at one point he throws his bow tie in your direction and that’s the best souvenir ever

Because he is constantly travelling and has a big fanbase, there’s no way he sticks to regular clients. It’s just impossible for him to focus on specific clients, so there’s no special treatment from this guy except for on stage

Also, doesn’t do private parties and one-on-one shows because he wants to mesmerize more people all at once, so save up some money and go pay for a chippendales performance. You won’t regret it at all

⤜ 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐊𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢 ⤛

Such beauty and grace. Akaashi Keiji is a famous name in the community and there’s no one that doesn’t know about him. He made his name known from the very start. Started working at ‘El Ray’ when he was a student because he definitely needed the money, but liked the job so he stuck with it. He was pretty insecure at first with everything, but learned how to love himself and the job he does

As the months went one and more well-offed people started visiting the club, Akaashi kept being requested for private events and parties. He is now floating in cash because he earns a good sum of money doing such parties. More famous with elder gentleman and women. There’s rarely someone who can say they dislike him or his looks

He is booked constantly and also does themed parties from time to time. His portfolio would consist of him dressed in everything, from a sexy maid outfit to a hot police officer, Akaashi has done it all. Why do people like him so much?

He is a professional at what he does. Akaashi comes to the parties always dressed in the fanciest of clothes with the skimpiest of underwear underneath. Also, a very skilled dancer that is extremely flexible ;). Even though a light blush can adorn his facial features, he is never the one to show he’s embarrassed. If anything, the blush is what keep the people coming

⤜ 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚 𝐊𝐨𝐳𝐮𝐦𝐞 ⤛

Kenma is a dark horse in ‘El Ray’. He started working because his best friend Kuroo, who happened to be a bartender in said club, told him about the job opening and told him to apply for it. Surprisingly, Kenma did get the job and he wasn’t the happiest person in the world

During his first few nights, he kept it low and was kind of hidden in the dark and let the other strippers do his work. No one really payed attention to the new addition because most of them were regulars that had their preferred favorites

One night, he happened to catch a fellow’s eye and Kenma had to step down from the stage and show what he has to offer to the gentleman. Kenma left the guy crying for more because there was no way someone as petite as him had such talent, body movements and expressiveness. Master at dirty talk let me tell you that immediately.

Everyone who gets to experience Kenma on their lap can die happily. For someone who is usually quiet, he has a lot of things to say. From degrading you to complimenting your appearance, there’s no way you can get this pudding head out of your head after you walk out of the club

Even though his body is lean, his soft and white skin catches attention and he’s basically sparkling when the staff decide to put glitter on him. The stage lights always showcase his figure purrfectly~

⤜ 𝐌𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮 ⤛

Hardest to get to for private parties because 1) you have to pay a good amount of money to get him to your place and Atsumu is not the one to settle for anything below perfect and 2) he is completely booked throughout the whole year

Apart from private parties and events, the time he spends at ‘El Ray’ is usually in the VIP rooms with wealthy gentleman and madams. Even though he’s the one who’s earning a living with said job, he is quick to assert dominance and shows him who’s the one leading the show tonight

VIP rooms are similar to private shows and if you pay for the full show, then you are definitely spending your money well. Atsumu provides you with the time of your life. He is also not afraid to go all the way with some people, especially if you’re a regular or someone who provides him with a negative AIDS test lol

He easily gets used to each and every client of his, no matter how different. That’s why he earns the amount he earns. He remembers all the small details of his regulars and uses them to his advantage. Treats every single client specially and the exact way they want to be treated

Also a famous name in the community and it’s difficult to get to him, so good luck with trying to have a private session with him

⤜ 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨 ⤛

Makki is also part of the travelling troupe because he hates being fixed to one particular place and spot. He also doesn’t want any regular clients because he then needs to pay special attention to them and it’s too much work at times

He prefers travelling from city to city, showing everything he has to offer and leaving the following morning satisfied. Makki sticks out from other performers with his brightly colored hair. In the dim and dark background it’s very easy for him to grab your attention because he’s standing out

Similar to Semi, his body type is not as big as the others, but that never seems to stop him. His dancing is always sharp with an emphasis on hip thrusts. He knows how to work em slim hips. He’s definitely one of the performers that do the choreography the best. Makki’s eyes are never focused on one particular person and he always tries to satisfy every person that payed to come to the performance

He is also one of the members with the most popular fancams because even through video, he grabs your attention and it’s not ease to tear your gaze away from him

⤜ 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐈𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐢 ⤛

His body looks amazing in leather pants and suspenders. That’s a fact and you can’t prove that’s not true. When you first enter the club, he acts like he’s a bartender because he appears out of nowhere and asks you if you need a refill. In the huskiest voice possible thank you very much

And when his hot ass shows up on stage, surrounded by that dim lighting, he looks like an absolute angel...that’s wearing very, very skimpy clothing. His legs are too long that he couldn’t be put on the cover of Vogue ngl. Mattsun knows what he’s doing and knows exactly what kind of effect he has on the audience

He enjoys working at the club because he knows he’s good at what he does and he earns a good amount of cash for it. Like Makki, he knows how to emphasize every part of his lower body effectively and his facial expressions are always an added bonus

Those eyebrows do wonders and I know cause I have em myself heh. He has potential to do private shows and parties, but that’s too much of a hassle and bigger crowds make him more excited...especially after he finishes one client and the crowd wants to have a go with him.

Probably has a handful of regulars, but never widens that circle. If you’re a regular with him and have been for a few months, then he’ll probably you a special session with him, but don’t expect much ;3

[fmdminhee]

headcanon 001. lily’s title tracks & minhee’s opinions. word count: 1,422.

notes: this is all new writing! song titles are not included in the word count. 

into the new world

nearly ten years on, minhee still insists that into the new world was an iconic debut song. she was only in her mid teens when lily debuted, and was full of hope, so ready to start a life free of her mother’s clutches. with all that in mind, there probably isn’t a better song in the world she could’ve debuted with. in the years since, so many girl groups have performed it, almost like a rite of passage, and they’ve rearranged it into a ballad version. if either of those come up, minhee will cry. she’s an ugly crier. it’s pretty embarrassing.

gee 

gee gee gee gee baby baby - hwang minhee (minnie), 2013. she wants the lyrics of gee engraved on her tombstone, if possible. it’s still one of her favourites, and not just because it was a career maker. to be honest, if they hadn’t managed to at least match it with hits going forward, she’d probably dislike it by now. but, as it stands, she loves how unabashedly cute it is. 10/10, would perform all the time if she didn’t know her members’ heads would probably explode.

nonono

nonono is super fun and super catchy, and minhee really enjoyed promoting it. nowadays it’s not one that she’d pull out immediately, preferring the comeback preceding it and the three directly after, but she likes the song. it feels very classic lily, and listening back to it, and the corresponding mini-album, makes her feel sentimental as hell.

tell me

one of minhee’s top three, i think! do not hold me or her to that. all of lily’s title tracks are bangers and ranking depends on mood. but tell me definitely consistently stays in the top five. it might not be technically as good as some of their other releases from around the same era, but it’s tied with gee and oh! for number one song that makes her hyper as fuck. it’s just too much fun, she can’t take it. she got to be wonder woman for the music video too, which was cool. everything about tell me scratches minhee’s silly little brain just right.

mr. chu

though not quite on the same level as tell me and oh!, which 100% turn minhee’s brain up to 2x speed, mr. chu still gets minhee hyped up. something about the chorus and choreography and concept just all fit correctly. she’d like to say they invented the weirdly popular girl groups on tennis courts concept, but she should probably cite her sources somewhere. it’s sort of like a more her nonono.

oh!

oh! came out around the same time that minhee was coming of age, and actually wanting to try something a little different to lily’s typical concepts, and oh!’s styling allowed her to do that -- she liked it a lot, she felt like she was the cool girl in an american high school movie. not only that, but she loves the dance and the addictive chorus too. she has about as much fun with it as she does with gee and tell me.

run devil run

when minhee said she wanted to do something different, she didn’t mean it like this. in all seriousness, run devil run is a fun song, but she appreciates it much more today than she did when they released it. the image reversal on stage was really difficult for her. still, if they were going to go down a sexy route, she hoped it wouldn’t feature so much tight leather in the future. short shorts >>>.

nobody

a very cool song, one that minhee thinks did better at showing off her versatility than run devil run, alongside showing the public lily’s more grown up and sexier sides, without going as far as run devil run did either. she got to be expressive in her face, and really had a lot of fun playing it up for the cameras. fun fact! it’s her dad’s favourite lily title track. 

genie (tell me your wish)

genie minhee’s beloved <3 truly one of their best. it’s the perfect blend of original and the at the time emerging new lily. refreshing and upbeat, flirty and fun. it’s an unbeatable combination of all the things that make lily great. she has absolutely no qualms about calling it a modern classic.

hoot

BOP. has a lot of the same positives for minhee as nobody and genie. she loves the whole old school thing from this era of lily’s title tracks. one of her personal top favourites (a contender for a slot in the ever rotating top three and five), not least thanks to the choreography in the chorus. she thinks hoot is iconic, and though yes, people would agree, she thinks it deserves to be even more of a widespread opinion. 

i got a boy

minhee’s tiny attention span loves i got a boy. she really loves it, like seriously. it’s one of lily’s most active choreographies, and she doesn’t think any other group could pull off a song like i got a boy. who else could get away with it?? she loves how youthful it feels too, and how it managed to be so without it feeling like they’d gone too far back after the mature-ish retro concepts before it. 

the boys

for minhee, the boys is kind of like run devil run’s better younger sister. run devil run was a test run, then they took the formula and made it ten times better with the boys. maybe it’s a confidence thing though. her self esteem was never low, per se, but she was definitely better equipped for a concept like this in 2017 than she was in 2015.

be my baby

retro lily best lily! minhee adores be my baby for its return to one of her favourite styles of lily song --  the kind she can really get expressive during. she could be cute and pouty up on stage again, while still acting her age. she had so much fun performing be my baby, and it’s another contender for the top five title tracks in her opinion. 

only one

only one is a nice song, for sure, but it’s pretty close to the bottom of minhee’s list. it’s like an unremarkable return to classic lily ... except it’s not fun or cute enough to satisfy minhee’s standards. weirdly, it makes her feel old. as if bc is putting an odd, grainy filter on an otherwise modern song and concept because they doubted whether or not the girls could still pull off the likes of mr. chu or nonono.

luv

luv is uncharacteristically somber when compared to pretty much all of their other title tracks, but minhee, surprisingly, likes it a lot. it’s catchy, both in its music and its choreography, and it’s a good blend of the old school drama type of vibe she gets from something like nobody or be my baby with the sweetness and sincerity of into the new world. a dark horse in minhee’s rankings.

five

five, in minhee’s opinion, is a much better attempt at whatever bc was trying to do with only one. it feels much more like proper original vibes lily, noticeably lacking the inexpiable bad vibes she got off the whole production of only one. everything about five came naturally to her.

remember

remember is a really unique song in lily’s discography in terms of its concept. the nautical summery themes also sort of reminded minhee of nonono and the sailor outfits they wore all the way back then. in the grand scheme of things, it lands squarely towards the end of minhee’s list in terms of preference, but above only one.

mr. mr.

ULTRA BOP. minhee loves mr. mr. so much. it’s got all of the retro influences that she adores, topped with a modern electronic dance flair. she’s conceited, so if you ask her, she’ll tell you that lily were the trendsetters behind retro coming back, citing mr. mr. and, like, half of their earlier title tracks for good measure. again, she’s come a long way since run devil run, and is much more comfortable being cool as well as cute now.

i’m so sick

i’m so sick is retro leaning, has a fun dance, and the styling makes minhee feel like a sad princess in a fantasy version of modern day. it’s perfect. she doesn’t love it as much as a lot of their previous releases, but she thinks it’s a really good concept for them to run with in 2021. she’d admittedly been sort of doubting bc and her decision to renew her contract because of her gripes with only one and remember, but thanks to 2021′s releases, minhee feels pretty satisfied with her choice.

[keichanz]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

hey @britonell​. do you remember Ride? yeah. that’s the one. anyway i have absolutely positively no explanation for this other than the fact that i’m a slut and also i’m blaming @clearwillow​ and @lemonlushff​ for this because they will know exactly where in the fresh fucking hell this came from. 

now if you’ll excuse i’m going to crawl back into the hole i came from and actually attempt to finish my 654 WIPs i have kthxbye.

anyway this is a follow up of sorts to my oneshot Ride because i have no self control. so here enjoy Stripper Inuyasha in chaps and a Stetson as i make him fucking line dance across a stage *cackle*

brief smut at the end but nothing exceedingly detailed because i’m lazy.

“Kagome,” Sango groaned, following her friend through the packed club and raising her drink above her head in order not to spill it as she meandered through the sea of people and tables. Jesus, this place was huge! “Why are we here again? And how the hell were you able to bypass that line? It was like a mile long!”

“I told you already,” Kagome called back over her shoulder, keeping a tight grip on her beer as she headed toward the only empty table in the entire establishment, reserved for a one Kagome Higurashi and guest. “We’re meeting someone.”

Sango didn’t fail to notice Kagome did not answer her second question and she sighed in irritation. Her best friend wasn’t telling her something and for the life of her she didn’t understand why. Kagome had always told her everything, and vice versa. There were no secrets between them, and that was why they were so close. But she also trusted Kagome and knew if it were truly important, her friend would tell her so Sango let it slide and muttered an apology as she bumped into a table while squeezing through the narrow paths. The tables were clustered so close together it was almost impossible to maneuver between them, but they managed and finally reached where Kagome had been leading them.

Gratefully sliding into the cushy seat beside her friend, Sango glanced around and couldn’t help but notice their table, which had been suspiciously empty in a fully packed club, was near dead center of the place and with a clear view of the stage not too far from them. It was empty at the moment, but the show hadn’t started yet, so not a surprise. Above the dull roar of chatter and laughter, Sango could hear a low beat coming from the speakers situated everywhere, standby music as the “performers” no doubt got prepared.

Sango flushed and took a sip of her Cosmo. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed Kagome to talk her into coming to a damn strip club of all places and she’d only given in because she was tried of her friend constantly bugging her about it. Hopefully after tonight, and after meeting whoever Kagome wanted her to meet, Kagome would be satisfied and never ask her again. These places just weren’t her scene, though of course she had nothing against strippers. Hey, you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs, Sango sighed and set her drink on the table before turning her attention to the woman beside her. Dressed similarly like herself in a short jean skirt, cowgirl boots and a cami to give off that western sort of feel – something about the theme for the night apparently, from what Kagome had told her – said woman was grinning down at her phone with a soft blush on her cheeks, biting her lower lip as her fingers flew across the screen, no doubt typing a text message to her the new man in her life. Sango hadn’t met him yet, and every time she asked about him, Kagome would blush darkly and dodge the subject.

Not very unusual behavior for her friend, if Sango was being honest with herself. Kagome had always been reserved and shy, easily flustered and quick to stutter out an excuse if she was feeling embarrassed or awkward in a situation. So the fact that Kagome had chosen here of all places to meet their friend was very strange, to say the least. Still, despite herself, Sango was curious and knowing Kagome would just avoid the question again if she asked, she resigned herself to wait as patiently as she could for this friend of hers to show up.

Well…at least the seats were comfortable and the alcohol was good. And also free. Sango frowned. Wait a minute, how the hell—

Unbidden the lights shut off, plunging the club into darkness and instinctively Sango knew the show was about to begin. The lights lining the edge of the stage started glowing and there was a tangible buzz in the air, a heavy anticipation that blanketed the eagerly awaiting patrons. Sango was surprised to find herself actually a little excited, sitting up straight in her chair, staring hard at the dark stage and…

Wait a minute. She squinted, leaning forward. She could see figures on the stage, dark silhouettes moving into a triangular formation with one person in the front and four more branching out behind him. Her heart rate increased when she realized it was the dancers—the strippers. Ohmygod she was about to see a strip show—

Beside her Kagome could hardly contain herself, biting down on her lip to counting her squeal of excitement as she bounced a little in her seat. Though it was dark, she could just barely make out Sango’s face and she grinned from ear to ear to see her attentively staring at the stage, looking just about as excited as she felt.

Kagome couldn’t wait to see her friend’s face when she told her one of those dark figures standing motionless on the stage was her boyfriend.

Throughout the club, all the speakers hummed as the volume was cranked up, but at first there was nothing but static. Every few seconds a brief burst of music broke through before fading back to incomprehensible white noise, as if a radio dial was being turned to find that perfect frequency. This went on for another few seconds before the faint twang of a guitar was audible, the notes growing louder until an undoubtedly southern melody could be heard clearly above the gentle crackling of the static.

No lyrics accompanied the melody, no voice crooning out words of country roads, sweet potato pie, or mama. Instead all that could be heard was just the strumming of the guitar getting louder while steadily growing faster, the anticipation building, thrumming through the joint and creating a charged, restless energy until—

Silence.

A crackle, followed by an incomprehensible jumble of words, as if several radio stations were playing at once burst from the speakers, and then it was followed in short order by a widely familiar, but altered recording.

“Th-th-there’s a snake in my—”

A husky and positively sinful masculine laugh abruptly cut it off, echoing seductively throughout the club, and the wicked sound sent pleasant shivers down the backs of damn near every single female patron in the audience. Warmth pooled low in Kagome’s belly and she bit her lip because she knew who that laugh belonged to.

And then finally - finally - everyone’s attention was directed toward the stage as one by one, the dark silhouettes that were standing immobile were suddenly illuminated starting with the two in the back. The middle figures were next, first left, then right, and then finally at the head of their triangular formation, silver hair, golden eyes, and a positively devilish smirk was revealed on who was no doubt the star attraction of the joint.

While the patrons went wild and hollered their vivid appreciation, Sango’s mouth dropped and her face went very red as she took in the five figures standing on the stage. While fringed brown chaps coupled with black western boots concealed their legs, it was very obvious they wore nothing underneath them by way of the black briefs that were clearly visible. A matching brown suede western vest hung open from their shoulders with nothing else and expensive looking Stetson hats completed the cowboy look and honestly, Sango was kind of digging the look and she really wanted to know who the one with the small ponytail and charming smile was…

The response was deafening: riotous applause, exuberant cheering, screaming, shrieking, high-pitched whistling erupted from the audience. From beneath the brim of a sleek black Stetson, amber eyes found and zeroed in on a head of dark hair and melted caramel eyes in short order, sitting at her table as he knew she would be. Their eyes met and she smiled, a secretive curl of her lips that was returned with a flash of fang and a suggestive wink.

His girl blushed and bit her lip and fuck she was so goddamn beautiful.

If he’d bothered to take his eyes off of her for even a second, he would have noticed her friend beside her choking on her drink at the exchange, clearly shocked.

The beat dropped and forcing himself to tear his gaze away from her, Inuyasha adjusted the microphone headset – specially designed for his ears in mind – closer to his mouth and with one hand holding the brim of the black Stetson on his head, the other hooked into his chaps, and he waited for the next cue before starting the memorized choreography.

“Boys,” he spoke into the mic and behind him, his “boys” moved to the beat with him, holding a similar pose with one hand holding their hat and the other hooked in their chaps.

“Now, remember what we’re here for,” Inuyasha continued, purposely adding a southern drawl to his voice that elicited several hoots of appreciation from the crowd. “This ain’t no half-cocked or eight second rodeo. Ain’t no kiddie rides or little ponies up in here.”

In sync, Inuyasha led his fellow performers into a quick country two-step the flexed the muscles of his abdomen. More whistles and hollers of female appreciation were issued as he drawled, “Nah, what we got here is the real deal. We got them one of a kind”—slide a hand down the stomach—"large and in charge”—hip roll—“rough and ready”—step back, a little spin—“motherfucking stallions.”

Cheering amidst rowdy laughter and shrieked encouragement was the response to that and Inuyasha gave a fang-baring smirk, his low chuckle rising above the din of the crowd thanks to the mic close to his mouth.

“And believe me when I say,” he continued, kicking out his booted feet and transitioning smoothly into an easy line dance, “there ain’t nothin’ half-cocked about ‘em.”

More screaming and cheering, wolf-whistles and cat-calls abound and yeah Inuyasha had to admit, he was soaking it up like a fucking sponge.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen.”

The five men spun around in a brief circle and with practiced ease caught the prop that was tossed to each of them from off stage, not missing a beat before whirling back around to face the audience and straddling what they held in their hands—a hobby horse toy, the one where a stuffed horse’s head was on the end of a stick.

“A gentle reminder”—Inuyasha turned sideways, tilted his prop so the horse head at the end of the stick was pointing upward, and very suggestively stroked his hand up the wooden shaft—"that you must be this tall to ride”—feminine giggling, shrieks of laughter and more hollering met his ears at that and he grinned—“and that any lightheadedness or tingling sensations are completely normal.”

More hilarity and cheering, the crowd restless, impatient, so Inuyasha decided it was time to wrap up his little speech. After performing some rather provocative dance moves with their props that had every woman in the building feeling rather flushed, the five performers tossed their props back to the hidden stagehands and while Inuyasha strutted to the end of the stage, the other four took position behind him, preparing to put on one hell of a show.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, cowboys and cowgirls,” he began and once more locked eyes with his girl, a devastating smirk curling his lips upward at her flushed and star-struck expression. “We kindly ask that you sit back, hang on tight, and enjoy…”

Strobe lights flashed, spotlights swiveled and bathed him in an ethereal glow, and the smirk that stretched across his face was all fang as golden eyes flashed from beneath the rim of his hat, dangerous, alluring, positively wicked.

“…the ride,” Inuyasha finished in a husky growl and as the crowd once more roared their vivid appreciation, the hanyou whipped off his headset before tossing it carelessly to the side and then fucking moonwalked back to his position, tipping his hat forward so only his smirking mouth was visible as he waited for the cue. It started only seconds later, the music reverberating throughout the club, and as one the performers started the largely anticipated show.

Only vaguely did Kagome recognize the beat that was pouring from the speakers, some kind of remix of the song The Git Up by Blanco Brown but it hardly mattered. They could have been dancing to something as ridiculous as the big butt song and Kagome would have been just as captivated, as enthralled as she was right now watching her man gyrate and pivot on the stage like he owned it. A lot of his moves were familiar now – both from being considered a regular here now and from his private little shows he gave her after hours – and Kagome suspected no matter how many time she watched him work those hips and roll that toned stomach, it would still have the same effect on her every single time, warmth pooling in her belly, heart beating fast, and a familiar ache developing between her legs.

Stealing a glance at the woman beside her, Kagome was thrilled to see that Sango was in a very similar state, her face redder than she could ever remember seeing, mouth parted in awe, and if she wasn’t mistaken, her gaze was focused solely on Inuyasha’s friend Miroku. Kagome had met him shortly after she and Inuyasha had started seeing each other officially and though he could come on a little strong at times with his wandering hands and flirty nature, he was a good man and Kagome genuinely liked him. Charming, witty, and with a surprising sense of humor, she knew he would be perfect for Sango and she decided to ask Inuyasha what he thought about setting them up.

But not until later, though, because right now Kagome’s attention was thoroughly ensnared by one silver-haired, golden-eyed Adonis as he drifted across the stage, flexing muscle, smirking devilishly, and every so often tossing her little winks that never failed to make her erupt into elated, girlish giggling.

By the time the first show of the night ended a disappointingly short five minutes later, all five performers were sans their vest and chaps, strutting around on the stage in naught but their boots, briefs, and Stetsons and looking utterly fucking delicious while they did. For the finale, the toy horse props had been made a second appearance and then the show had taken a very unexpected, but also very appreciated twist that had captive audience roaring with applause, cat-calls, wolf-whistles, and general pandemonium as every woman collectively lost her shit.

Each performer, with Inuyasha going last, briefly disappeared behind a screen that had been discreetly rolled onto the stage while the audience had been distracted by sexy dance moves and when they emerged, the briefs were gone and the hobby horse was held between their legs in such a way that the stuff horse head deliberately concealed any stallions from their screaming fans.

The dancers bowed and in another move that delighted the audience, each man removed their Stetson and tossed it into the crowd. Predictably they were fought over, women clamoring over each other to get to the precious souvenirs first, but Kagome ignored them all. Conveniently Inuyasha’s black hat found its way to her and she blew him a kiss as she placed it on her head to which her man winked at her with a grin before the stage went dark.

Giggling, Kagome turned to Sango to ask how she enjoyed the show and found that she was holding he own hat in her lap, a flush on her cheeks and a slight smile curling her lips. She recognized it was the one Miroku had been wearing and she smirked. Her little plan might be easier than she’d anticipated.

“Sooo,” Kagome drawled, not even bothering to hide her smirk as raised a brow at her friend. “Nice hat. It’s safe to say that you enjoyed the show?”

Flush darkening, Sango muttered something and proceeded to ignore her friend by putting the hat on her head and tugging it down over her blushing face. Kagome cackled and without removing the hat, Sango flipped her off. Kagome cackled louder.

Deciding to spare her friend further embarrassment, Kagome left to get them two more drinks and by the time she returned, Sango had cooled down and smiled her thanks when Kagome set a Manhattan down in front of her.

“Yes,” Sango sighed as nursed her drink and her smile was almost dreamy. “Yes, I admit it. I enjoyed it.”

Kagome simply waggled her brows and sipped at her amaretto sour, but before she could say anything else, she spotted a familiar figure, now dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt, weaving through the sea of tables and people, fending off grasping hands of appreciative women. His honeyed gaze was zeroed on her, however, not once looking at any of the women that tried to get his attention and Kagome felt that familiar warmth bloom in her chest. She felt it somewhere significantly lower as well, but that was nothing new and she tried to ignore it as her boyfriend approached with his signature smirk.

“Ladies,” Inuyasha greeted and bent down to sweep his girl into hot kiss, caging her in his arms with a hand on either arm rest. “Baby,” he rumbled, pulling away and dropping a kiss to her forehead.

“Hmmm,” Kagome hummed and tugged him back down for another one. Inuyasha chuckled and happily obliged, getting lost in her taste, her scent, the way she twined her fingers in his hair and snagged his ear to massage the sensitive flesh. He growled, lifting a hand to cup the back of her head, tilting it back so he could plunder the sweetness of her mouth with his tongue, nip her lips with his fangs, and suck the soft flesh into his mouth. Kagome moaned for him and the sound went straight to his—

“Inuyasha, get your tongue out of your girlfriend’s mouth. You’re being rude.”

With a grunt, the hanyou reluctantly pulled away and leveled a peeved glare at the source of the voice.

Unfazed, Miroku stared blandly back, arms crossed while next to him, eyes impossibly wide and mouth open in shock as she sputtered incoherently, Sango gawked incredulously at them.

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha grumbled something but nonetheless complied, dropping one last kiss to his girl’s mouth before standing up and gesturing at Kagome to stand up. She did, and he took her place in the chair before tugging her back down to sit on his lap. His arms went around her waist as his chin rested on her shoulder and Kagome wiggled around to get comfortable before resuming sipping her drink, calm as you please, like she hadn’t just been making out with her hot as fuck stripper boyfriend.

Recovering from her shock while Miroku not so discreetly looked down Sango’s shirt at her cleavage, Sango jabbed an accusatory finger at her friend and screeched, “Your boyfriend is a stripper!”

Kagome blinked and smiled a mite sheepishly. “Um…uh, so, Sango, remember when I said we were meeting someone here?” She chuckled nervously. “Well…”

Without warning Sango snatched her drink off the table and drained it in three large gulps.

Miroku practically had fucking heart-eyes as he gawked at the woman who had just downed a strong cocktail like it was nothing.

“Fuck, marry me,” he murmured, barely aware of what he was even saying and then he promptly forgot how to breathe when the woman of his dreams suddenly swung her gaze his way, racked her eyes up and down his body in an evident once over, and then made a noise of approval as her eyes lingered somewhere considerably lower than his face.

Feeling warm not only from the booze in her system but also lingering effects from the captivating show featuring the very sexy man before her, Sango abruptly got to her feet and pegged her best friend with a look. Kagome blinked and innocently widened her eyes. Sango snorted.

“You,” she said, eyes narrowing. “We’ll talk later. And you.” She spun around and jabbed her finger in Miroku’s face. His eyes crossed as he stared at it. “You’re coming with me.”

Then with that, completely ignoring the couple nestled in the chair with matching knowing looks on their faces, Sango stormed off, head held high and like an obedient puppy Miroku followed after her, nearly stumbling in his wake and ignoring the hands that reached out to him as he passed by.

Kagome and Inuyasha stared after her, one gaze amused, one slightly bewildered.

“Inuyasha,” Kagome deadpanned. “Meet Sango.”

Inuyasha snorted and maneuvered her around on his lap until her legs were draped over the armrest and her arms were around his neck. He buried his face in her neck and kissed the soft skin, ears flicking at her soft sigh.

“I think Miroku likes her,” he pointed out a little needlessly since it was obvious the guy was already half-way in love with her. His friend always did like a woman that could hold her liquor well and Sango’s first impression had been stellar.

“Hmm,” Kagome hummed and her friend was the last thing on her mind as she slipped her hand beneath his shirt and ran her fingers across the hard lines of her man’s defined abdomen. “I like you.”

Inuyasha smirked and kissed his way up her neck. “Yeah?”

“Mmmhm.” Scratching lightly with her nails just to feel him shiver against her, Kagome slipped her other hand into his hair and found one of his ears, fingers stroking the soft flesh. “You wanna know a secret?”

“Tell me,” Inuyasha growled into her ear and nibbled on the tender lobe before trailing his tongue along the delicate line of her jaw.

Breath hitching in her throat as his devious mouth licked and nipped at her skin, Kagome swallowed back a moan and slyly slipped her fingers further south to flutter over the crotch of his jeans as she leaned up and confessed her secret in a sultry purr.

Inuyasha’s entire body stiffened as her naughty words registered in his brain and he groaned, head falling back to loll against the backrest of the chair as his devil of a girlfriend snickered impishly on his lap. Damn, but his girl was dangerous, and fuck if he didn’t absolutely fucking love it.

“Well?” Kagome purred and he could feel her warm breath wash over his jaw as she laved the skin with soft kisses. “How ‘bout it, cowboy? Shall we go for a nice hard ride on your stallion, or you gonna make me settle for a boring little pony show?”

Her fingers flitted over the hardening crotch of his jeans again and she felt an answering pulse between her legs, thighs squeezing together to relieve some of the building tension.

With a low growl designed to tell her just what he thought about her cheeky little teasing, Inuyasha surged forward, caught her mouth in a hard, demanding kiss and then suddenly he was on his feet and dragging her toward the employees only backstage entrance. Breathless, aching, and trembling, it was all Kagome could do to keep up with him, shamelessly admiring the flexing muscles of his back and his tight ass in those jeans, but then her back was suddenly against a wall, her hanyou had wedged himself between her legs, and his hand was up her skirt, claws hooking in her damp panties and tearing the fabric completely off.

Kagome gasped but it turned into a moan when her lover hitched her thighs around his hips and then hastily unfastened his jeans, freeing the stallion that was rearing and ready to go from within. He cursed, she laughed, and the next minute he was inside her, grinding her into the wall, swallowing her moans with his mouth and returning them with heated growls of pleasure.

He fucked her against the wall, in a rarely used dark hallway somewhere behind the stage, and as Kagome clung to his shoulders and begged him for more, harder, faster, please, Inuyasha snarled and complied as her naughty little confession rang in his ears over and over, fanning the flames of his passion, his hunger for this woman all-consuming and never ending.

“I want your full cocked, large and in charge stallion inside me in the next thirty seconds and it had better be longer than any eight second ride.”

i want you all to know hat i could not. stop. laughing. as i was writing Inuyasha’s sexy little speech and that i am very proud with how it turned out rofl also yes i did make Inuyasha line dance anD I’M NOT SORRY 

on another note, i didn’t put as much detail into the dancing this time because one it’s a fucking pain in the ass to write out detailed choreography; two, the actual dancing wasn’t a huge part of the plot, and three, i’m a lazy piece of shit and just wanted this done. also yes i’m aware that last line is kinda lime and anti climatic but i couldn’t think of anything else lmao 

for anyone curious, the eight second thing references bull riding. a cowboy must stay on a bucking bull for eight seconds without touching any part of the bull or yourself or using any spurs, ropes, ect.  

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#230-221)

#230: Dschinghis Khan -- Dschinghis Khan (Germany 1979)

"Die Hufe ihrer Pferde, die peitschten im Sand Sie trugen Angst und Schrecken in jedes Land Und weder Blitz noch Donner hielt sie auf"

"The hoofs of their horses, they lashed in the sand They carried fear and horror in every country And neither flash nor thunder stopped them"

One of my favorite songs to jam to is Boney M's "Rasputin". A disco-influenced song about the life of "Russia's greatest love machine", it's energetic while telling that of a myth. I mention this because Dschinghis Khan is compared to this often, in all the ways.

Only this time, it's about the great conqueror Chinghis Khan, who took over the whole universe (and lasted for a very long time). From how he struck fear across the steppe to fathering seven children in one night, he is seen as the embodiment of masculinity.

While entertaining, sometimes I'm put off by the gimmickry. It can be argued that it wouldn't age that well today, because it can be seen as culturally appropriative or mocking Mongolian culture. But for what it's worth, it's enjoyable and still a classic today.

Personal and actual ranking: 4th/19 in Jerusalem

#229: Louisa Baïleche -- Monts et Merveilles (France 2003)

“Oh, mon amour Où es-tu, mon amour?” “Oh, my love Where are you, my love?”

A definite case of love at first listen for me—Monts et Merveilles is a calming ballad, albeit with sad lyrics about the end of a relationship. The instrumentation is quite nice; it reminds me of songs that stood out on the charts during that time. It also had the "ethnic style" percussion in the bridge, which made me think that France Televisions wanted to mix what worked in the last two years (ballads) with the ethnic sounds from the 1990s (as Louisa is half Kablye, an Algerian ethnic group)

Despite it, it got a pretty low result—though it may be because 2003 was a stronger year songwise compared to the two years that came before it. Or it maybe because of the hair getting into her face that took away from the experience...

Personal ranking: 5th/26 Actual ranking: 18th/26 in Riga

#228: Hakol Over Habibi -- Halayla (Israel 1981)

"הלילה, הלילה, יהיה זה הלילה נאמר דברים שלא אמרנו מעולם"

"Tonight, tonight, it will be the night We’ll say things we’ve never said before"

On a random note, whenever I would search up Idan Raichel's "Hakol Over", Hakol Over Habibi would be one of the first search items that pop up. I would completely ignore it until now, when they actually participated in Eurovision!

That said, Halayla is very groovy song which plays with the disco vibe of the 1970s and the highly energetic choreography that would define 1980s Israeli Eurovision entries. The instrumentation is quite awesome, with the mix of piano, strings, and I think accordion setting up the vibe. (And it switches well from minor to major and back again , which can go awry when done wrong).

The members seem to have a ball on stage, and Kikki looks beautiful in her dress, which was fitted that way because she was pregnant at the time!

Personal ranking: 5th/20 (though it jumps around often...) Actual ranking: 7th/20 in Dublin

#227: Wind -- Laß die Sonne in dein Herz (Germany 1987)

"Manchmal bist du traurig und weißt nicht warum Tausend kleine Kleinigkeiten machen dich ganz stumm Du hast fast vergessen wie das ist, ein Mensch zu sein Doch du bist nicht allein"

"Sometimes you feel sad and you don’t know why Thousands of little reasons are making you dumb You nearly forgot what it’s like to be a human being But you are not alone"

Wind has the interesting distinction of participating three times and coming in second twice out of those three. The first one, "Fur Alle" was seen as such as a big contender that there were bets made against it winning. And then it didn't.

Laß die Sonne in dein Herz didn't come that close to winning in 1987, but I can argue it's the better song of the the three.

It catches you right away with the reggae influences, which creates a relaxed vibe throughout the song. It builds up well with every key change--it does get repetitive at times (especially with the choruses), but never boring. And while it shares a similar theme to Fur Alle, it doesn't come off as either derivative or charitys-single like.

(That said, I did grow to like Fur Alle eventually, but this one was more instantaneous.)

Personal ranking: 7th/22 Actual ranking: 2nd/22 in Brussels

#226: Charlotte Perrelli -- Hero (Sweden 2008)

“This is a story of love and compassion Only heroes can tell.”

The better Charlotte song, in my opinion. The song she won with, “Take Me to Your Heaven” is a complete vintage track, almost influenced by ABBA-nostalgia going on at the time. “Hero” , while still on the same schlager vein, modernizes the production a little bit, to the point I imagine it would be a good pop song of that era.

Alongside that, Hero has some compelling lyrics, one which could summarize the hero's journey in general. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody were to write a Eurovision jukebox musical, they would use this in some format.

That may be the case on why l like it better, but it could also be because it should’ve done better in the contest. The fact the jury wildcard saved Charlotte is a reason why they're around, but the fact there was a wildcard which kicked out the actual tenth placer (North Macedonia's Let Me Love You) could be totally flawed too.

Personal ranking: 6th/43 Actual ranking: =18th/25 (with France) in Belgrade

#225: Carlos Paião -- Playback (Portugal 1981)

“Podes não saber cantar nem sequer assobiar, Com certeza que não vais desafinar, Em play-back, em play-back, em play-back,”

“Maybe you don't know how to sing or even how to whistle But you won't sing out of tune for sure, In playback, in playback, in playback”

This is so modern and infectious it’s unbelievable. From the introduction to Carlos’ biting lyrics to the choreography, it makes one wonder why it got neglected in the voting. 1981 was a strong year, sure, but this song is definitely one of the best of that field.

Playback, as the title suggests, is about the pervasiveness of lip-synching in the music industry. One day, nobody will have to learn how to sing because the playback will save them. They can all focus on the performance without taking note of the song.

It's eerily relevant to Eurovision today, considering we don't use live music anymore and backing vocals can be mimed. I have mixed feelings about the latter, because one side argues it allows different genres of music to appear, but the other argues it reduces artistic credibility. I prefer having live vocals; if a delegation wants to use them on the track (e.g. looping), it should be on a case-by-case basis.

Maybe that's why it somehow made the ESC250 the last two years...

Personal ranking: 4th/20 Actual ranking: =18th/20 (with Turkey) in Dublin

#224: Emma -- La mia città (Italy 2014)

“E dimmi se c’è davvero una meta O dovrò correre per la felicità”

“And tell me if there really is a destination Or I have to run for happiness”

The black sheep of Italy’s post-comeback output, and coincidentally the only song completely chosen internally. That being said, La mia citta is still a good song, and for me it’s better than some of the fan-favorites out there.

Admittedly, I prefer the punchy verses to the chorus, with the latter reminding me of something out of P!nk's discography, but I revel on Emma’s energy and her letter to the city of Rome. We have struggles about the place we are from, but still try to sing its praises when we can!

The staging was a bit tacky at times, but I did like the aesthetics of it—particularly her laurel wreath. Her costume had a good concept also, but is also overdone it in terms of the bejeweled top.

(As for the Sanremo winner that year, Contravento, it feels like a bit of a grower. The clarinet intro really takes one in, but there has to be a whimsical, sweet staging to accompany the hopeful song. Had they done so, a left-side finish would've waited for them)

Personal ranking: 6th/37 Actual ranking: 21st/26 in Copenhagen

#223: Brigitta -- Open Your Heart (Iceland 2003)

“Everything you share with me Turns a little darkness into light And that is how we’re meant to be Truth will keep the light shining brighter”

Also known as, the woman who originally came from Husavik! The difference is that Birgitta was the lead singer of the group Irafar. Open Your Heart reminds me of songs that end up on DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie) soundtracks—it can actually work in the end, but also in the beginning to introduce the characters and/or their circumstances. The random running order really helped it with being first, haha! Beyond that, it's an optimistic song, helped with the guitar influences which ground it in the era. Plus, the production and lyrics add to this feel, encouraging even the shiest to open up their feelings. Also, I like the flowery aesthetic that Birgitta has, from one in her hair to the larger one (which I think is real?) on her microphone. Personal ranking: 4th/26 Actual ranking: 8th/26 in Riga

#222: Tomas Ledlin -- Just nu! (Sweden 1980)

“Han vill dra iväg, kanske ner till Paris Och hitta äventyret på något vis Inte sitta här på stans konditori Och låta tankarna, bara fladdra förbi” “He wants to go away, perhaps down to Paris And find adventure somehow And not just sitting here at the local café Just letting the thoughts flutter by” The 1980s saw the genre New Wave come to vogue, and Just Nu was a valiant attempt on the genre, especially considering the direction Eurovision would go later. From the opening notes, I got the punkish notes from the instrumentation, and the lyrics definitely add to the feeling of being free from societal expectations, crying out "right now"! (which is funny, because I learned Romanian at one point and nu means no in the language. So I keep thinking it's "just no!" against conformity) Tomas also shows quite the attitude on stage--he just struts into the stage with a boyish charm and kickstarts the song. With his looks and usage of the microphone stand, he portrays this rebellious character well, though the orchestration could’ve been improved with the strings and flute. Personal ranking: 2nd/19 Actual ranking: 10th/19 in Den Haag

#221: Lea Sirk -- Hvala, ne! (Slovenia 2018)

“Moje ime je Lea in/Za vas imam nov lik!” “My name is Lea/ And I have a new character for you!”

I love the opening lines for this song—it immediately sets the tone and has a strong statement alongside it. She's Lea, and she won't let anything down on She asserts that she can’t be sold out, and has a great attitude to accompany the trap beat, which reminds me of a K-pop song for some reason. The staging fits the song to a T--though it didn't need any changes from the NF, haha. As for the fake break, I don't have any strong opinions on it, but it definitely kept up interest for the song. A nicer touch was the Portuguese line in the end. Either way, it was a surprise qualifier in its semi that year, and it was one surprise that I greatly welcomed. Hvala da!

Personal ranking: 8th/43 Actual ranking: 22nd/26 GF in Lisbon

[eponymiad]

Queen’s Thief Appreciation Day Four: An AU (this is a country western AU. Drag me for it, if you must. I deserve it. But it has been a JOY to write). 

Irene's friends drag her out to a country western bar. She's less than thrilled to be there. Helen's obnoxious cousin, on the other hand, is thrilled.

*

Irene can’t believe her friends tricked her into a night out at this godforsaken country western bar again. She’s leaning against a wall in the darkest, emptiest corner of the bar and she’s— well, she’s painfully aware of what a TV stereotype she looks like, brooding in a corner, sipping her double whiskey and glowering at the crowded dance floor. She’s not going to pretend otherwise.

She’s still annoyed when her brooding is interrupted.

“Those are really cool earrings.”

She jumps at the sudden voice in her ear, close and loud enough to be heard over the music. Irene turns to look at the guy, who looks pleased to have gotten a reaction. How the hell hadn’t she seen him walk up?

Irene knows him, but can’t seem to place him. He’s got warm, brown skin; dark, curly hair, and... Oh. He only has one hand.

Helen’s cousin.

Irene can’t remember his name— something old-school, maybe a family name? Or religious?— even though they’ve met a few times, at bars and parties. He’s much younger, and from what she can remember, immature and desperate for attention.

Clearly that hasn’t changed. He’s managed to take the western theme entirely too seriously. He’s in a Nudie suit — dear gods, did he own this already? — embroidered with erupting volcanoes, some men sword-fighting, and what looks, inexplicably, like elephants. His brown leather cowboy boots have matching gold accents, and his double ear piercing includes a thin gold hoop and what looks like a carved sapphire stud. The entire outfit is ridiculously over the top.

Much to Irene’s irritation, it actually works.

“What?” she says. She’s distracted.

“Your earrings — they’re really cool,” he repeats.

Her hand flies up to the golden bees dangling from her ears. They’re her favorite earrings, inherited from her mother. She wouldn’t have worn them tonight if she had known she’d be coming here. “Thank you.”

He smiles at her, warm and friendly, if a little awkward. “Gen, by the way,” he says loudly, talking over the noise. “I know we’ve met but, well.” He gestures at the loud, drunken space around them as if that explains why he expected her to have forgotten him.

It probably does.

“Irene.”

“I remember,” he says with another warm smile. It tugs at something in her chest.  

“But really, what’re you doing wearing those earrings here? Those are the nicest things this bar has ever seen,” he says.

She gives his Nudie suit a once over.

“Well,” Eugenides says, with a thoughtful head tilt. “Maybe tied for the nicest thing.”

“Mmm,” she says, and half-turns back to look at the dance floor, worrying one of her earrings between her thumb and forefinger. “I thought we were going to dinner.”

From the corner of her eye, Irene can see he brightens, though she can’t imagine why.

“Well, you’d have to ask me out first, but I’d say your chances are pretty good.”

Her single raised eyebrow belies the hitch in her breath she manages to hide. That was obnoxiously smooth.

“I’m going to dance,” he says, left hand — only hand — palm up, tilted slightly toward her in offering. “Join me?”

She looks at him. “No.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself. It was nice talking to you, Irene,” he says, and waltzes off to the dance floor. Within seconds, he’s found someone else to dance with.

*

Irene is leaning against the bar, a fresh drink in her hand, when the music shifts to something upbeat and familiar. Oh — apparently they’ve moved on to the line dancing part of the night.

She’s watching the drunken crowd dance to “Cotton-Eye Joe” when she spots Gen. He’s front and center, dancing in a group, and somehow, inexplicably…he’s good.

A line dance to “Cotton-Eyed Joe” isn’t supposed to be something anyone is good at — it’s a dance they teach five-year-olds in PE. It doesn’t involve any actual skill.

Except apparently it does. Gen is moving with a practiced grace that shouldn’t be allowed at a country western bar. He’s dancing in time with Helen and five or six other people who look as though they could be relatives . Irene wonders if they’re one of those families — it happens sometimes, a group shows up who is so good it blows everyone else in the room out of the water.

Irene can’t stop watching them.

Eugenides looks over at the bar and catches her eye. She still can’t bring herself to look away. He gives her a giant, toothy grin and, without ever looking at his dance partners, slips his right arm over one man’s shoulder, his left arm around a woman’s waist, and together they lift two women off the ground for a spin.

*

“Red wine, please. And a cup of water?”

Gen has appeared at her side again, fresh off the dance floor, face sweaty and hair a little wild.  

The bartender looks back at him funny. Gen tilts his head, feigning ignorance. Irene snorts. Gen doesn’t turn, but she sees a tiny upward tilt at the corner of his mouth.

The bartender rolls his eyes and pours the wine without any more fuss. Gen’s smile is victorious when the other man looks away.

Drinks in hand, Gen turns toward her. “Having fun?”

“Definitely,” she says, sarcastically. “Nothing more fun than fending off drunk assholes at a bar.”

Eugenides wrinkles his nose. “Well, I’m not that drunk. But point taken,” he says, with a nod, and starts to leave.

Ah, shit.

“No,” she says, with a quick hand on his elbow. He freezes. “I meant— Not you.”

“Ah,” is all he says, and takes a sip of his wine. “Why’re you here, then? Aside from admiring my dance moves.”

She gestures at the throng of people. “Got dragged out by friends. If I leave, they’ll just make me go out next weekend. If I stand here and drink my whiskey while they dance with drunk strangers, it buys me another two months.” She shrugs.  

Gen smiles. “Do you want to get some air?” he says, and gestures at the exit with his right arm.

Irene debates. She doesn’t want to give him the wrong impression — she knows what men are like. One yes and suddenly they think they’re entitled to positive answers the rest of the night. Alternatively, he seems marginally less drunk than everyone else who has approached her, and it’ll get her away from the guy who’s been leering at her across the bar for 20 minutes now.

“Sure,” she says, and heads toward the door without waiting to see if he follows.

*

Of course he follows.

Outside, where the din from the club is distant, they have a real conversation. He lives up in the mountains, and hates horses, and asks for the story behind her earrings. She tells him about the vintage jewelry collection her mom left behind, and about running her dad’s company.

“What do you do? Or are you still in school or...?”

Eugenides laughs.”I’m a computer hacker, basically. But an ethical one,” he assures her.

“What does that even mean?”

“Companies pay me to break into their systems and expose security threats. It’s fun,” he says, and waggles his eyebrows a little. Irene laughs despite herself.

They chat some more, but eventually there’s a lull in the conversation that neither of them seem to know how to fill. She’s swirling the ice in her glass idly, fighting her desperation to be home with a reluctance to end the conversation.

“Do you want another drink?” Gen says tentatively, like maybe he thought she was angling for him to buy her one.

“No, I think I’m going to head home,” she says, because the...everything is getting to her, the concentration of stimulus and emotions making her skin itch,

“Oh, okay,” he says, and he definitely sounds disappointed. Which, again, is the problem with ever telling men yes.

“I need to close out my tab though,” she says. He nods, and makes his way toward the door.

*

The dancing looks fun. It always looks fun. It’s the actual act of dancing that’s less than enjoyable. Crowded dance floors, strangers trying to touch you, people watching…

Irene wishes — though she’ll rarely even admit it to herself — that she could dance with the carefree abandon she’s seen people like Eugenides relish in her entire life. Unfortunately, she wasn’t afforded that luxury.

Irene is eying people on the dance floor while she waits for the bartender to finish up with someone else. She sees Eugenides watching her in her periphery. She looks at him. Gone is the shy kid from two minutes ago. The sly smile is back. It’s like he can see through her; it’s unnerving.

“Irene...do you want to dance?”

She hesitates, but just for a second. Fuck it.

Gen looks delighted.

He leads her out to the dance floor. The song switches just as they find an empty spot, and Irene freezes. She’s not going to do a fucking square dance, and she’s certainly not going to do it with him. Gen might have a modified choreography with his relatives, but that doesn’t mean he can manage to dance one-handed with a woman who barely knows the steps. She’s awful at following dances she doesn’t already know. She’s going to fuck this up and embarass them both.  

Somehow, Gen picks up on her exact freakout. He shakes his head. “Don’t worry,” he says. “I’ve got you. Just reach for me like you’re expecting my right hand, but I only use my left.”  

And he does.

Irene is fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to explain, even in an hour, how the hell Gen does it, but she makes it through the entire dance without messing up a single time. It’s entirely thanks to him.

It’s also...very fun.

She’s not sure how long they’ve been dancing, but Gen is spinning her every few seconds to something carefree and upbeat, her hair slipping out of her bun, when a very large man puts an arm on Eugenides’s shoulder to get his attention. Irene recognizes him from earlier — she’s fairly certain he’s one of the cousins.

“Gen,” says the man, with an accent so heavy she can hear it from the first word. “We have to go.”

Gen looks at his cousin sharply. “Why?”

“Boagus,” the man says with a heavy eye roll. “Got into a fight outside.”

Gen narrows his eyes up at the man, but eventually shakes his head in resignation.

The tall man looks from Irene to Eugenides. “I’ll meet you outside,” he says over the music, and walks off.

Eugenides turns to her. “What luck you have,” he says, and his smile is back to shy. He hesitates for a second.

Irene wants to say something — though she has no idea what — and she’s probably being ridiculous — when Gen leans forward just enough for her to realize what he’s going to do. He pauses, and gives her time to pull away. Instead, she can feel herself swaying toward him just enough that he takes it as invitation to close the gap.

He has his hand on her jaw, angling her face down toward his just a little. The kiss is far too soft and sweet for the middle of a sweaty dance floor, surrounded by drunken fools and loud, pounding music.

It’s a really nice kiss.

When he pulls away, he grins at her, a full-faced thing that makes his eyes twinkle.

“Bye,” he says, with a quick wave, and he’s gone.  

What the fuck was that?

*

Irene kicks off her kitten heels and dumps her purse on her silver entryway table the second she’s through the door.

This was a weird night, and she’s so relieved to be home she could cry. Her skin is still prickling from the kiss-and-dash, and all she wants to do is scrub the night off of her with a hot shower.

She gets the water running, and doubles back for her phone while it heats up. Maybe she’ll put on some music — ABBA or Beirut or literally anything but country music.

She flips open her crossbody bag, and sees a folded napkin she definitely didn’t put in there. Opening it, she recognizes the horse and lilies from the bar’s logo. Scribbled in terrible handwriting just below it is a name and number—

Gen

471-288-6547

*

Find it on AO3 here! 

My ETERNAL, undying love to @helvetica-upstart for the life-changing betas. 

[frenchibi]

Hi French!! The other day you said you really liked musicals, so what’s your top 3 favourite?!

Hello again!! :D

This is a tough question to answer, because musicals are like... a Special Interest™ of mine, and I have very strong feelings about a LOT of the shows I’ve managed to see/listen to (As a European I wish they’d make shows more accessible for people who can’t get to a place that shows them so easily... GIVE US HIGH QUALITY RECORDINGS; I AM WILLING TO PAY) - anyway, all this to say that yeah I can probably talk about some favorites!

Come From Away, which is an ensemble show about the immediate aftermath of 9/11, when the US airspace was closed and 38 planes were forced to make emergency landings in a small town in Newfoundland - it’s about the townspeople coming together to help out these refugees and it had me in tears when I saw it live (as in like, I cried for 95 of the 100 minutes of runtime. It was. An Experience) - it’s a show about hope and humanity and grief and how global events unite us and... idk, it feels even more relevant these days? I tend to be deeply affected by things that have hope as the main theme, and some of the lyrics shake me to the core even years after having first heard them. It’s so. good.

Hamilton - okay, look. I know that Hamilton Fans have taken over the internet and a lot of them are... A Lot. But Hamilton really is a very well-written show and I am glad it is more accessible now, even if it took them too long to release the recording imo. Sometimes the hype around things can make them seem annoying or not worth your time and investment, but it really is just very good.The themes about legacy and “who tells your story” are poignant and powerful and hit me in a very personal place I guess?? Also the choreography and staging adds a LOT, so if you’ve only listened to the album so far I HIGHLY recommend watching the recording on Disney+.

Starry is a musical about Theo and Vincent van Gogh, and it’s also one of those shows that just had me crying a lot, but in a really good, cathartic way. It also does that thing that I’m so weak to, that “what remains after we’re gone” thing, that “who remembers you, how are you remembered” thing, and also the way it portrays mental illness is. It hits home. The people behind the show are incredibly passionate and I think it 100% shows in the music and also in their response to people enjoying what they’ve made - they actually have a tumblr @starrymusical and you should go listen to the cast album on Spotify RIGHT NOW and then give them some love!!!

Also, Starkid. I can’t talk about musical theater without talking about Starkid. They’re a group of creators who write and perform original and parody musicals and upload them to youtube FOR FREE. They have been doing this for ten years and have written 12 full-length shows, 10 of which are parodies of different properties and genres - my favorites include Twisted, a Disney parody, Holy Musical B@man, a DC/Superhero parody, and their two original horror/comedy musicals The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals and Black Friday. Also, what they’re most well-known for is their series of Harry Potter parody musicals, A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, and A Very Potter Senior Year, which they produced when they were in college - they are also VERY GOOD (tbh they are what I wish Harry Potter could have been if JKR wasn’t... Like That). Honestly all of their stuff is good and if you haven’t, you should go to their youtube channel TeamStarkid and watch them - they’re there! Available! At any time! The music is STELLAR (and every show has a slightly different tone too), as is the acting, and the production value has only increased over the years, with their work becoming more popular and the group getting support on kickstarter from fans. (But even the shows that were filmed on older equipment are worth the watch - they’ve got REALLY GOOD subtitles that add a lot to the experience and help with the audio issues in the first few shows ^^). In conclusion I have nothing but love for Starkid and all of their members, who all seem like lovely and passionate people. Several TeamStarkid members were actually also part of the Starry project!

Other shows I want to mention which are not like, Big Favorites but still shows I like a lot: Matilda, Hadestown, The Mad Ones, Wicked, Les Mis, Phantom of the Opera, The Raven Locks (it’s a set of concept albums without a stage show but the music SLAPS, find Dirt Poor Robins on Spotify or Youtube; they also have a second project called Dead Horse Alaska), Jesus Christ Superstar, Beetlejuice, Six - with these it’s like... I really like some of the songs while others I’m sort of indifferent about, but I do still think they’re all definitely worth a listen!

...this was a lot, thank you for bearing with me - I do SO love talking about musical theater!!! Pls feel free to share your thoughts on any of these or send me recs of other shows you think I might enjoy!! :D

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Dream cont: (In which Bustier is actually decently developed)

So basically I saw an episode and spoiler clips for another but i will save the spoiler one for when/ if I have that dream.

-The episode starts with a Jewlery store Robbery. Emperor is on stage, looking slick with a bag full of jewels.

-Ladybug and Chat noir are on the scene.

-“Oh look, the super babies are here. I’m quaking in my boots.”

-“you aren’t escaping us this time.” Ladybug calls out.

-Emperor laughs. Commenting that he has heard that before.

-Fight ensues, and beautiful choreography. Chat noir and Ladybug had some really amazing combo moves, which caught the thief off guard.

-“Not bad kids, you’ve been practicing.”

-Emperor was going to dodge a punch from Chat noir but his vision went blurry, he gets decked and drops the jewels.

-Emperor realizing that he is slipping and he should leave.

-Emperor manages to escape but lost most of the jewelery he stole. The one he did manage to snatch he ended up altering to make a new piece of jewelery which he gives to Miss Bustier as 6 month anniversary gift. It was a lovely necklace.

-Ladybug was mad that he escaped since they were so close at getting the penguin miraculous back.

-Chat noir assuring her that it’s only a matter of time. They are getting a lot of good practice against this guy and will be ready to take down him and Hawkmoth soon.

-Apparently Fu Left for Tibet for a week. He took the horse Miraculous and wanted to talk with the order.

-Ladybug/Marinette has the miracle box as her first real test as guardian.

- At school, Rose noticing Miss Bustier’s new necklace. Marinette thinks it looks familiar, but she can’t put her finger on it.

-Marinette could tell the jewlery was altered and she had a theory about Her teacher’s boyfriend.

-Marinette asking the teacher questions on the jewlery, the teacher swooning, Marinette could relate. Ended up talking about love and Caline giving Marinette advice on Adrien.

-Marinette blushing, asking how she knew?

-“A good teacher knows her students, and I am working on being one for this class.”

-(Bustier salt because of Zombizou and Ladybug following this, but Miss Bustier was being a good teacher this episode)

-Arséne and Adrien are at the Agreste manor, and Adrien comments that he and Miss Bustier are getting closer.

-“Caline and I have found we enjoy one another’s company. It’s only natural our relationship progresses.”

-Adrien teases the gentleman about it.

-“That is a conversation for adults young man.” Arséne dismisses (I wish I remembered what Adrien said.)

-There was apparently some Lore and like this whole explaination by the guardians to Fu on why the Penguin Miraculous was so powerful and it’s drastic side effect on the weilder.

-Miss Bustier got akumatized after her necklace got destroyed by Lila, who tried to frame Marinette. Because of course. However, Alya called Bulls*** because she was with Marinette the whole time. Miss Bustier was just distraught that it was broken.

-She became A jewel themed akuma and it was really cool looking.

-Arséne actually helped by keeping the jewel monster busy by Flirting with it.

-Ladybug and Chat noir save the day.

-Caline appologizes to the class on how she acted, Alya telling the teacher Marinette didn’t break the necklace.

-“I know Marinette, I know she would never do such a thing.” Miss Bustier.

-Lila was the only one in the classroom, that could have done it.

-Lila manages to convince the class that it wasn’t her. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya don’t buy it.

-Miss Bustier tells everyone they can have the rest of the day off but asks Lila to stay for a moment.

-“Our school finally got access to your personal records. You seem to have a lot of illnesses not documented on those files.”

-Lila tried to lie, but then Bustier said this.

-“I understand that it’s hard making new friends at a new school, but don’t deceive my students. No more fake illnesses, this class is very accepting of others, you should try being yourself Lila.”

-“Are you going to tell everyone?”

-“No, that is something you will need to do. I recommend telling them soon, Lies always have a way of coming out.”

-Marinette and Adrien get like a cute moment because Marinette takes Bustier’s advice.