#i want to reiterate nothing directly happened to me

[zirkkun]

hello i've briefly returned from my long hiatus

i'm. working on stuff? if you noticed i unfollowed you it's because i'm massively narrowing down the stuff on my feed. it doesn't mean i have anything against you! im just trying to keep my social media feeds more curated. i've gotten a massive spike of anxiety even thinking about going anywhere online other than a couple of my friends' dm's and tiny servers on discord lately. but i want to be able to share my work. being able to share my work and allow my thoughts to impact other people is what gives me the greatest joy... i've just been so scared to share anything really because i gained such a panic that anything i would say would open the floodgates for harassment of any kind, no matter what i said or even what i didn't say. i've not been directly hurt by this, it's mostly just an unending fear of imagining the worst possible outcome. but i know a lot of people who have, some of which are my closest friends, and the internet isn't... as fun as it used to be.

it's taken me ages to even want to make this post at all. it's arguably the last time i will be bluntly honest about my feelings directly for the foreseeable future, because i no longer feel safe doing so with anyone other than a couple few close friends. i'm not saying this to point any fingers or try and say others are the problem, i'm simply stating my feelings to explain why i've taken the actions i have. i'm gonna be making a lot of changes to how i post things and reorganizing stuff around so it will hopefully be a lot easier for me in the future to be less frightened to even open any social media page, and in turn, i'll still be able to share my works with people who adore seeing them or who may even need to see them, depending on the content. but if i become more closed off to messages and asks and stuff, well, I apologize, but i'm not in the mental headspace to handle it right now.

i appreciate everyone who has stuck around here despite my absence. the amount of people still following me even though i've barely posted anything in ages is... astounding to me. thank you. whether or not it was intentional hoping i would come back or you simply forgot you followed me ages ago, thank you.

hopefully this change ends up being for the better for everyone.

[cosmic-d1ce]

FML again

Pac realised he really isn't a good person.

"Do you ever... want to tell someone something but can't?" Pac asks, looking to the stars with a distant expression. He doesn't seem all there tonight, something has been bothering him. Fit can tell.

"Not really. Why?"

"I just... I wanna tell you something but I know that if I do, everything will get worse." Pac's eyes drift from the sky and over to the side, away from Fit.

They've been sat together for some time. It's something they like to do sometimes, to relax. Together. It's nice. It's always calm, just the two of them, usually at night. A single lantern shared between the pair. Foolish called it romantic.

"How so?" Fit prompts, watching Pac's expression carefully.

"It's... hard to explain." Pac hesitates before he continues. "I know this is something you want to know. It's something you deserve to know. I just know I can't tell you."

Fit hums. "Sounds complicated."

"It is." Pac huffs. "It's so... awful. I hate it. I can't do anything about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I think I could have. A while ago. It's too late now." Pac's voice trembles slightly. "We laughed when we found out. Our friend was being hurt and all we did was laugh. We could have done something but didn't because it just... didn't matter to us."

Fit can't quite figure out what Pac is talking about. "What?"

"We got told that something awful was happening and we all laughed. Me, Mike, Cellbit, Felps- and Forever! We- we all laughed about it." Pac reiterates. "We watched someone be mentally and physically destroyed and laughed about it! We did nothing because we didn't care."

Fit grows more concerned with every word. "This... sounds really serious, Pac." he says, unable to keep the nervous tremble out of his voice.

"It is! It really is but I can't... we can't do anything." Pac cards his fingers through his hair, making it messy.

"Why not?"

"I told you. Everything will get worse. People will be hurt, you might get hurt, I might get hurt! I don't want that!" Pac raises his voice and finally turns to look Fit in the eye as he finishes. His eyes shine with unshed tears.

"Pac-"

"I just want to protect the people I love." His voice is quiet again as he pulls his knees up to his chest. "I feel so guilty. Sometimes, I feel like I'm no better than the people we're fighting. Y'know, at least the Federation look for their kidnapped workers. They don't laugh when one of them gets hurt. They do something about it."

Fit hesitates. "That's... Only partly true. You're a great person Pac, you have nothing to worry about..."

"I'm not. I've changed a lot since being here and I just... I was... I am an awful person, Fit. For what I've done to him... Even if I haven't directly hurt him, I let it happen. I watched his life be destroyed and laughed about it!"

Fit can't help but wonder what he's talking about. It could be a lot of things. It could be something from before the island. Fit really has no way to know. He wonders, though, what it could be if it was recent. What could it be? Who could he be talking about?

It takes a while for it to click. It takes a few days before Fit makes the connection between what Pac told him and Phil.

When he comes into Cellbit's castle to talk to Pac and sees him with both Cellbit and Phil, everything seems to make sense again.

"Pac... Can I talk to you?" Fit asks, after a cautious apology for barging in unannounced.

Cellbit and Pac share a quick glance.

"We'll be okay, I think...? Cellbit gives Phil a questioning look, silently asking for confirmation. When Phil nods, Cellbit looks back to Pac, "You can go."

Fit takes a second to take in what he's seeing. Something is wrong with Phil. His leg. There's a golden apple, bandages and a potion next to him on the bench. Cellbit and Pac seem to be tending to whatever wound he's gotten. Fit is still somewhat angry with Phil, he never got over what he did. It still hurts. Still, he feels bad. A part of him wants to go over and help, the part of him that worries that what Pac said was about Phil. The rest of him feels too bitter.

"Warp over to mine?" Fit suggets, pulling out his warp stone.

Pac nods as he takes his from his pocket. They warp and Fit can't wait more than a few seconds before he speaks.

"Pac. The other day. Were... were you talking about Phil?"

His companion is taken aback for a moment too long. "I-I can't tell you... I'm sorry."

Fit isn't sure if he should take that as confirmation or not. He's worried. Unbelievably so. Pac seems so sad, so upset and worried and scared and Fit can't stand to see it. He's worried about Pac and he's worried about Phil. Despite everything, he's worried about the stupid bastard. This was the only thing that could make him stop worrying but it's only made it worse.

"I want to tell you, Fit. I do, I really do. I know it would make you feel better if I could but I can't. Please, understand."

"I do. I get it. I'm just... worried. I'm so worried. About you and Phil."

Pac is surprised, "I thought you hated him?"

"No... I was just angry. I'm still angry but he was my friend and I do care. If you were talking about him... I don't think I'd ever forgive myself..." Fit feels his heart sink at the thought of it.

"You should. It's not your fault." Pac doesn't hesitate for even a moment before he responds.

Fit is almost certain he knows what that means.

He was right.

[lunar-years]

Ngl when I see ppl shipping Jamie and Dr. O'Sullivan I think they're at least a little homophobic and very straight.

well, i disagree with a blanket accusation of homophobia, but I do think it's an opinion that holds a very ~straight appeal~, definitely, lol.

there are honestly a boat load of reasons i hate it but they boil down to:

i kind of get why people (esp. a segment of the general audience) might be attracted to it because it's soooo something (bad) shows/sitcoms would do. Like, my god is it TRITE. Predictable, formulaic...boring as all hell! Of course he's going to get with the nameless sister who has less than five minutes total of screen time, just for a little added spice and drama, sure. That's what happens in (bad) shows. But luckily for the rest of us, Ted Lasso even at its worst is not that brand of bad, lol.

it's completely baseless? Nothing wrong with a baseless ship i guess, but at the same time...literally why this one? lol. Like, Jamie and Roy's sister share one scene together in which I don't believe they even say anything to one another directly? There is no chemistry, no...anything? The entire premise for the ship seems to be Jamie telling Roy his sister is hot. Which was very clearly intended as a way for Jamie to get under Roy's skin. Nothing about the scene makes me want to see those two dating.

the big proponents of it i've seen (often, definitely not always) seem to fit into one of two categories 1) people who don't really like Jamie and/or are upset Jamie "got in the way" of their ship, and thus want him to be written into a corner that pulls him away from their preferred couple/inherently shuffles up their dynamic. they don't actually care to watch a plot between Jamie & Roy's sister, they just want Jamie firmly categorized as Taken and thus Not Interested in Roy and/or Keeley, and this is a convenient and predictable(y stupid) way to do it. lol.

OR 2) people who DO really like Jamie and in fact really like Roy & Jamie, but in a very "no homo" way, who want to see more of their dynamic and have a way to define/further explore their closeness, whilst also justifying their own enjoyment of it, that's well set apart from "they have homoerotic tension." Jamie & Roy's sister dating holds an appeal because it more explicitly puts their relationship into firm "brotherly" territory. And I unabashedly loathe that for the same reason i loathe "Roy is Jamie's father figure!" ...foremost because no really, they can just be best friends!! Even if you do not want to ship roy-jamie romantically, you do not need to slap different familial labels on them (or put them into random other pairings) to make their relationship "more." Their relationship is already "more"...they are canonically best friends!! idk if I'm explaining this in the best way but the mindset behind it often feels very rooted in ~the nuclear family is the most important relationship a person can achieve~ and thus a need to fit everyone into traditional family roles (and in some cases that PLUS blatant homophobia) and it gives me a personal ick. Ew.

If you want to see quirky jamie & phoebe antics or roy and jamie bickering, Jamie x Roy's sister getting it on is in fact not actually necessary for any of that? (and imo doesn't add anything to anyone's arc) Going back to point one...using that pairing to get there feels TO ME very boring and sitcom cartoony.

(i also obviously dislike it for my personal shippy reasons and must acknowledge my bias. 🫡 Jamie dating his best friend's sister when he clearly has a crush on said best friend is a relationship-based mental low point/cry for help i do not actually want him to go through as my fav character, LOL.)

(disclaimer: people can of course feel differently and are entitled to ship whoever they want without even needing a clear reason or explanation! that's totally valid! i want to reiterate I don't think it's inherently problematic as a ship. I just personally think it's a rotten tomato of a plot point and i'm so beyond glad the show didn't waste time entertaining it.)

[durnesque-esque]

This is mostly a repost from my IG, but I wanted to make sure it got said on all my platforms.

I worry about saying the wrong thing, but I can’t say nothing. Let’s establish a few things right off the bat: the state of Israel is NOT representative of all Jewish people and criticism of a NATION STATE does not and should not equate to religious discrimination. Criticism of Israel and a defense of the millions of innocent citizens does not and NEVER WILL equate to tacit approval of Hamas. If you cannot understand these concepts, then read no further. 

What the nation of Israel is doing to the citizens of Palestine… it’s not hyperbole to call it apartheid and genocide: to corral millions of people into a section of land smaller than Kansas City - known as the “world’s largest open air prison,” half of whom are UNDER 18 - CHILDREN, to call them “human animals,” to blockade and starve this population that has been systematically oppressed in their own homeland for decades, to demand they evacuate then bomb the evacuation routes and the hospitals. These are war crimes.

The U.S. government is complicit in the purposeful destruction of innocent Palestinians. The massacre of children does nothing to stop terrorists.  

One of my foci in college and my graduate studies was the Holocaust/Shoah. The greatest fuel for those atrocities was the silence of bystanders. We cannot be silent. I have contacted my representatives and you should too.

There are so many doing difficult educational work on this topic and so many directly posting from within Gaza. I know I am still listening and learning and bearing witness. Here are just a couple of accounts to get you started: @sbeih.jpg@gazangirl@ifnotnow This is a link to a post: “a lot of things are true” that I find more complete in its coverage of the nuances of what’s going on. I’m doing a lot more reblogs on my tiktok which I encourage you to watch - especially those messages from the people of Palestine. So many are sending out what may be/ have become their last messages to the world. The least we can do is to hear them. 

I will not be debating anyone in the comments or DMs. This is not an invitation to try. The block & delete are my friends.

It truly distresses me that I can be sitting at my desk trying to manage film billing, or scrolling tiktoks while grocery shopping, or for fuck's sake telling scary stories to drunk people while elsewhere in the world a genocide is happening, paid for and supported by my government. I know many forms of violence and oppression are happening throughout the world always, but this... this is so much. We cannot look away. We cannot be quiet. Even when we continue to go through the motions of our lives.

I reiterate and wish to make clear that I denounce anyone using this situation to fuel either their anti-Semitism or Islamophobia. This is a matter of humanity.

Image is from @chnge

[heyclickadee]

Some thoughts on Hunter in Tipping Point:

Hunter has every reason to be suspicious. He has no idea what's been happening with Crosshair. He doesn't know about how conflicted Crosshair's been about the Empire the whole time, he doesn't know about the thirty-two rotations, or Cody, or Mayday, or Nolan, or the torture, because he was never there to see any of it. All he knows is that Crosshair gave him every reason to think that the chip was never a factor by refusing to specify when/how it was removed or to differentiate between his own choices and what the chip made him do, then decided to stay with the Empire when given the choice not to, AND that the last time Crosshair sent a message to the team through the comms they ended up trapped underwater in the ruins of Tipoca City because Crosshair did, in fact, set a trap for them (I mean, the whole getting trapped underwater thing wasn't his fault and he thought that was going to go very differently, but it was still the end result). Heck, he didn't even get the whole message, just "Plan 88" without the added context of, "You have to hide. They're after O[mega]." Suspicion is a totally reasonable response. It's also an emotional one, and, in one sense, a mistake.

And just to reiterate, I'm not blaming Hunter. Because, in another sense, he's right! He's right to be cautious. He's even right to think it's a trap, because that's probably exactly the reaction Crosshair wants him to have. Crosshair doesn't want his family to come for him. He wants them to stay far away, hidden, and safe, and caution is exactly the approach to his warning that will keep them that way. Being careful and distrusting is actually one of Hunter's strength's, in a way, because it allows him to really think things through before taking action, and that helps him keep his family safe. But in the context of this episode, Hunter's reaction to Crosshair's message also highlights Hunter's biggest flaw in a way we haven't really seen since that "You weren't loyal to me" scene in "Return to Kamino." As a lot of people on here have pointed out, Hunter's only coping mechanism when it comes to difficult problems or things he doesn't know how to handle is to really just kind of...not try to handle them. He just ignores them. So the Empire? There's no beating it; the only thing they can do is hide and stay out of the way. Crosshair? Let’s just never talk about it or deal with it in any way. And of course this is nothing new, he's always been like this, but the reason that it comes across as more of a mistake here is because this episode directly contrasts him with Echo and Crosshair, in terms of his attitude towards difficult problems, and with Wrecker and Tech, in terms of his reaction to Crosshair's message.

The episode opens with Echo leading a dangerous rescue mission and fighting the good fight he knows he can't win. Then it leads into and ends with Crosshair fighting, in a way, the same good fight and one he will personally lose, by facing what he believes is going to be unending torture until he either breaks or dies. Wrecker reacts to Crosshair's message with hope, excited by the possibility that Crosshair turned on the Empire and that they might get him back after all. Tech responds with fear and worry on Crosshair's behalf, sure that Crosshair is trying to warn them of something and afraid of what a scientist with a reputation for "unorthodox" experiments might be doing to his brother. And then you have Hunter, who can't let himself get involved in Echo's good fight, who knows that there's no winning and therefore no point in engaging at all, and who responds to Crosshair's message with suspicion and doubt.

And again...he's right! They can't beat the Empire. Crosshair's message is really shady without the context that Hunter doesn't have. Staying on Pabu and staying out of it is absolutely the smart thing to do. And, at heart, Hunter's attitude is motivated by the exact same thing that's motivating Echo, Crosshair, Wrecker, and Tech. Echo's fighting to save his brothers (and, just maybe, to make the galaxy safer for his little sister). Crosshair's allowing himself to be tortured to protect his siblings. Wrecker's hoping to get his brother back, and Tech's terrified of losing that same brother for good. Hunter, likewise, is paralyzed into inaction, retreat, and skepticism because he just wants to keep his family safe.

In a way, Hunter's whole approach here is a little bit like Crosshair's decision to stay with the Empire at the end of last season, just...you know, not awful or nearly as extreme and without all those "staying on the wrong side out of spite" and "this is gonna ruin your life" overtones. It's reasonable and completely understandable, both in a rational and emotional sense. There's a way in which it ought to be the right way to go about things. It's the sensible choice. It just...isn't quite the right one.

(I promise I'm not trying to bash Hunter here. He's a genuinely good man and the fact that he does have a huge flaw like this makes him really interesting! And from his point of view, his attitude makes sense! I honestly just really love how complicated the whole situation is.)

[wildflower-otome]

[Translation] Clover no Kuni no Alice ~Promise Red~ Light Novel - Chapter 5

Writer: Sana Shirakawa Artist: 文月ナナ

ACT 5 - Hearts that must be spoken to be understood

This was impossible. It couldn’t be.

‘…..You don’t need to deny it all of a sudden, love isn’t something that happens on one’s own. It comes into being precisely because there is another person involved.’

‘You really do turn up with the worst possible timing, don’t you?’

‘Fufufu. It can’t be helped, when you are in a dream, your voice always ends up reaching me after all.’

It seemed both bright and dark.

In the slumbering dream space, the dream demon’s shoulders lightly shook with laughter. In contrast to Alice’s discontented facial expression, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

‘Eavesdropping as a hobby, you have pretty bad taste for a territory leader.’

‘I don’t peek in on just anyone, you know. It’s a natural response to being worried for a precious friend.’

Even though there wasn’t any wind, his silver hair fluttered and swayed. A black suit and a white shirt. However, the colour of his complexion was incomparably pale in contrast with his clothes.

The way Nightmare looked right now, he seemed about to melt into the atmosphere around him.

‘So then, what will you do, Alice?’

‘What do you mean, ”what will I do”?’

As she purposely feigned ignorance, the leader of Clover Tower gave the girl a sly and meaningful smile.

To the man that could read hearts, Alice’s emotions must have been as clear as day.

When she awoke from dreaming, she would be able to throw him off by thinking of something else, but while she was sleeping and face to face with the dream demon, hiding her heart was an impossible task.

‘The White Rabbit may be crazy about you, but with this, do you now understand he hasn’t realised how you feel? Despite passionately wishing to know more about you than anyone else, he understands nothing.’

‘Yes, all too well.’

If she thought about it, the things Peter said were almost always confessions of love. It seemed to her that he only ever one-sidedly gave voice to his own feelings, he never asked Alice what hers were.

If you were close friends, you didn’t need to go out of your way to purposely confirm your friendship.

And when it came to Peter, who had been her acquaintance ever since she had fallen into this world, Alice had never felt it necessary to reiterate herself. Rather, she was always letting the words he said go in one ear and out the other, she never directly responded to the things he said.

‘That’s correct. And for Peter White, who has always treated even his own emotions as insignificant, ascertaining your feelings must be something more difficult than anything. No, it must frighten him.’

‘…..…..Nightmare.’

Gazing at the dream demon’s white face, Alice spoke words inside her heart. The world of reality, where hearts other than hers came and went aside, in the dream place, just thinking something was an easy way of asking him a question.

Is that because he isn’t confident he’ll be able to get the answer he’s hoping for?

He’s afraid of being rejected?

Alice had always thought that such emotions didn’t have much to do with someone like Peter. He was a Prime Minister, the White Rabbit who behaved heartlessly towards everyone, she hadn’t thought he would have the same kind of weakness that Alice did.

‘That’s exactly right. However, it isn’t just him. It’s the same for all of us, Alice. We have nothing inside of us. All the more because we are empty, a part of us has given up, feeling that even if we want something, it will never be obtainable.’

‘But if that’s the case, then it’s almost as if-‘

-You’re like me.

Just like that, the murmur in her heart was taken in by the dream demon. As if to say that no matter how small the doubt or worry, nothing could escape his eye.

As if responding to Alice’s heart as she stood with eyes downcast, the dream demon smiled self-deprecatingly.

‘Even so, you are different from us. You have a definite substance to you.’

‘…..…..’

He poked at Alice’s chest with a pale white fingertip.

Despite prodding at her chest, the dream demon and the White Rabbit were alike in that—it didn’t feel sexual.

‘Only I can see your heart. However, I cannot necessarily see everything. Neither can you completely see yourself. The boundlessness of your heart is vaster than this dream, and at times unclear.’

‘Nightmare.’

Though as a dream demon he should have been a fearsome existence, the gaze with which he looked at Alice was always somehow kind. However, a man who was always only kind could not fulfil the role of a dream demon. Ever since she had met him for the first time at Heart Castle, that there was something unfathomably frightening about him remained unchanged.

Although, ever since the move to Clover Tower, there were many occasions when it was more his pathetic side that caught the eye, rather than his eeriness.

‘Wh-Wha-, aren’t you being rather harsh? I’m an amazing boss that’s good at my job, all my subordinates respect me, you know-’

‘Tell me that once you’ve become a bit healthier, please.’

Although, it was hard to imagine a healthy, hearty Nightmare with a sparkling smile on his face. Rather, just thinking about it creeped her out.

‘Ugh, how cruel. Even though I’m so important. And I’m Clover Tower’s leader, too-‘

‘Yeah yeah, if you’re really such a great important leader, make sure you work a bit more on your stamina before the next Assembly.’

If you keep on worrying Gray so much, someday that man’s hair might turn completely white from stress, you know.

As she spoke with a sigh, the dream demon laughed a little and shook his head.

‘…..If that’s what you think, then you too, before the next Assembly, make sure to have your personal affairs in order.’

‘What do you mean “you too”, I’m not the one always causing trouble for everyone around me…..’

‘You might not vomit blood as I do, but try not to keep saying “What’s wrong with me, I can’t be in love with Peter” over and over, even inside your dreams. It makes me worry and want to give you unnecessary advice.’

Not mocking her, but speaking in a tranquil sounding voice, the dream demon shrugged his shoulders.

Even though he was normally the one causing a ruckus among those around him with his childish complaints, at times like this the face with which he looked at Alice seemed terribly mature.

Seeing that silver gaze, she took a momentary breath and then—

‘N-Nightmare!!’

As she raised her voice inside the dream, her face turning bright red, he gave her an amused smile.

***

Alice was aware that she was the stubborn type of person that didn’t know when to just give it up.

Particularly when it came to romantic relationships, which she should have had a deep-rooted reluctance towards. She’d even thought that she no longer wanted anything to do with such things. It was the plain truth that even when necessary, she had wanted to refrain from them.

All the same, what she was doing right now was in incomplete opposition to her previous attitude.

‘…..It’s not like that invalid talked me into it or anything.’

Muttering alone to herself, right now she was in a guest room at Heart Castle. She was in the overly large room that had been given to her for the duration of her temporary stayover.

Sitting on her bed, Alice was staring fixedly at the item she had in her hands, an unusually serious expression on her face.

‘After all, if I don’t tell that idiot rabbit outright, it doesn’t ever seem like he’ll get it.’

Ah, she hated herself for being such a sore loser even at a time like this.

She was unable to straightforwardly accept her own feelings. Despite readily accepting her faults to the point of servility, to be so dawdling when it came to simply liking someone, she really had quite the troublesome personality.

Glaring at the item she held in her hands, after taking a single deep breath, Alice slowly began to speak.

‘Listen carefully, Peter. I’m in love with you.’

There was no one there to reply to Alice’s words. Even so, the girl continued.

‘So that’s why, I want you to believe me when I tell you that I like you-.....no, that’s not right! Saying something like this doesn’t suit me at all-’

Falling flat onto the bed, she buried her face into it. The ears peeking out between the gaps in her long hair were flushed a light red.

Before her was a torn out sheet of white paper. Its surface showed signs of words having been repeatedly crossed out and rewritten.

‘And anyway, why do I have to be the one to confess….Can’t believe Peter was able to say such embarrassing lines.’

Squirming restlessly, as she sat up and smoothed down her hair, what Alice held in her hands was a single stuffed toy.

It was in the shape of a rabbit, and mainly red and white in colour.

When the goods that Vivaldi had bought were delivered to the Castle, it had been included as a bonus for a good customer.

It was rather cute, but the red Queen had taken a single glance at it and frowned.

‘We do not need a plush toy such as this. It would only remind us of a certain Rabbit and that displeases us.’

When it comes to white rabbits, that annoying Rabbit is more than enough to put up with.

Even now Alice wasn’t sure what impulse had led her to take the plush toy that had been about to be thrown out.

Alice had taken up the toy that had just been decorating her room up until now…..and was desperately practising her lines.

That’s right, she was practising her lines.

She was—to borrow Peter’s words, practising her love confession.

‘…..…..-’

Realising all over again just how embarrassing what she was doing was, her face only grew redder and redder.

It was embarrassing. To the point that right now she just wanted to disappear.

Alice thought that if she were to tell Peter how she felt in her current state of mind, her weak heart might just about stop.

While rewriting her lines, she had thought to herself over and again that she should just give up.

Countless times she crumpled up the memo she had written and raised her arm to throw it into the bin…..but ultimately ended up rewriting it.

It couldn’t be helped, after all.

To keep on not having her feelings get through to Peter pained her.

It saddened her that he felt that just being together was enough, and she didn’t want to let him continue on like that.

‘…..Perhaps it might be better to be more direct.’

Taking up the pen that was on her side-table, she rewrote her lines.

‘I love you, Peter—So, I want you to love me more too…..something like that?’

As she rewrote the words on the paper of which there was now not much blank space left, Alice tried speaking them out loud.

‘…..…..’

Nope. Depending on how you took it, it sounded like nothing more than mere frustration.

Above all else, a pushy sounding confession wouldn’t be well-received by the other person, even if they did understand that you liked them.

She musn’t be too direct. She probably needed to dress it up a little, but Alice, whose romantic experience was close to nil, wasn’t sure how far she needed to go.

Each time she rewrote her lines, she tried saying them to the plush toy—and shook her head.

‘This is no good at all…..Peter won’t get it at this rate.’

The reason she was unable to be at ease no matter how many times she made corrections and adjustments, was because Alice had the same weak point that Peter did.

No matter what words she used, no matter how she felt.

It might not get through to him. He might not accept her feelings. She wasn’t able to wipe away her fears so easily.

Even now the bitter emotions she had experienced at the end of her previous love were still smouldering away deep within her heart. Unable to be sure in the way a dream demon would, until she felt confident enough to be able to competently get her feelings across, she could only keep trying over and over again.

For the diffident Alice, obtaining that confidence was a difficult task.

‘…..Ah, this really doesn’t suit me at all…..’

Her sighs were unending, each time she had to make a correction, they only increased.

It didn’t seem like Alice’s practising would ever be over.

‘Ah, sheesh—it’d be so much easier if I could just say, “Just fall in love with me already”-’

Perhaps unconsciously. Not even attempting to keep quiet, her irritated voice was audible even outside her room.

The residents of Heart Castle were all people that held good will towards her. Hearing that Alice had holed up in her room and was keeping to herself, they were all doing their best to not intrude.

However, the Queen, who was in essence the highest authority at this Castle, was a different matter.

‘Hmph.’

At that very moment, the Queen had been walking past Alice’s room unaccompanied by her usual attendants. Vivaldi, who had been walking on her own, straightened her shoulders.

‘…..Damn you, White. If Alice comes home crying after all this, we shall cut off your head immediately.’

She was a busy woman, but so too was her subordinate the Prime Minister.

Not long after returning to Heart Castle, the normally busy Peter had secured the next time period as a rest period.

It was unlikely he would be so assertive about taking a break if it didn’t involve Alice in some way.

Wondering exactly what it was they were planning on doing, she had come to check in on her, but from what she could hear of the voice from beyond the door—it appeared any inquiries would only embarrass Alice further.

‘Ah, sheesh…..what are you making me say, you stupid Rabbit!’

‘…..…..’

A voice that sounded as if it were venting some frustration. If it had been anyone else, it would only have been an irritation to her ears, but the face of the Queen as she listened to it looked somehow amused.

The figure continuing down the hallway with light footsteps was that of someone with absolute power, that of a Queen.

However, the expression on her face was sweet and soft, like that of a young girl.

‘Fufufu, keep trying your best, Alice.’

To persuade that Rabbit would certainly be a feat requiring a great deal of effort.

Such a gentle look had never been seen before on the Queen, who was normally bad-tempered by day.

***

‘Hey, do you want to go on a picnic together?’

The one who had made the invitation after returning to Heart Castle once the Assembly had finished was Alice.

The promised time having arrived, Alice had put some light crackers and tea into a basket and met up with Peter.

Just by being face to face with the White Rabbit, who it appeared had just arrived in the Castle hallway to pick her up…..the lines of the confession she had spent so much time practising seemed about to fall apart in her head.

‘Alice, my apologies for making you wait so long! And this must be your luggage…..I shall carry it for you.’

Seeming happier than anyone had ever been, the smiling Rabbit stretched out his hand to take the basket, but Alice held out a hand to stop him.

‘It’s fine. I’ll carry it.’

‘That can’t be…..To have you carry everything would be out of the question-!’

The girl smiled at the shocked Rabbit to hide her embarrassment and slightly shook her head.

‘No can do. I’m going to have you get inside it, after all.’

‘Eh?’

With a smile.

‘Turn into rabbit form, Peter. If you do, you’ll be able to fit into this basket, won’t you?’

As she asked the clearly puzzled Prime Minister to turn into a rabbit, although still tilting his head in confusion, he obeyed.

With a small popping sound, the white-haired youth instantly turned into a soft-furred rabbit. His large pocket watch, which remained the same size, looked as if it were a bag.

‘Is this alright?’

After nodding yes to the White Rabbit that looked up at her with large staring eyes, she put him into the basket and began to walk.

At first she had thought he might have disliked taking this form, but the obedient Peter obligingly remained inside the basket. She would have thought it might be difficult to understand the emotions of an animal, but strangely the emotions of the White Rabbit alone she was able to read.

‘.....Do you enjoy being in the basket that much?’

Quizzically tilting her head at the White Rabbit, who seemed to be in an even better mood than she had expected, Peter looked at her with big red eyes.

‘I am on a date with you, after all-! No matter where, or in what form, if I can be with you, I’ll be happy.’

Hearing the White Rabbit excitedly raise his voice, in high spirits, on the contrary the girl gave a lonely looking smile.

‘Being with you makes me happy, too.’

‘Was that so! Then, we should have spent much, much more time together…..I’m sorry Alice, I….. didn’t realise at all.’

Having left the red Castle, she was walking towards a slightly elevated hill a short distance away.

The weather was flawlessly clear. It was perfect for going out on a picnic. Although, to begin with, the weather in this world was almost always good, so she hadn’t been worried about it.

‘I wonder if this is far enough?’

The place Alice had stopped at was a quiet grassy field, at a distance from the bustling noise of the town.

She carefully put down the basket that the White Rabbit was in. Seeing his little nose twitch in the exact way a small animal’s would, he looked adorable.

At the heartwarming sight, she began to smile, but then schooled her expression and spoke.

‘Um, Peter. There’s something important I need to talk to you about.’

‘Something important? What is it, Alice? If it’s for you, I’ll do anything. Please tell me whatever you wish.’

The White Rabbit who up until now had looked as if he belonged in the grassy field, gave an immediate response to Alice’s words.

His red eyes were slightly larger than normal.

They hadn’t changed at all since the moment she had seen them up close the night she was attacked— a gaze that was so completely clear it was frightening. They were eyes so pure she felt guilty at even being reflected in them.

‘I’ve been wanting to know for a while now too. Recently, you haven’t seemed very cheerful somehow, you know? And also…..during our Assembly date I wasn’t able to do as you asked.’

‘I don’t really mind about that now.’

Don’t follow me!

If you do, I’ll hate you-!

‘..........’

In actuality, rather than hating him, it was only becoming even harder to leave him, she was surprised she’d even been able to say such a thing.

‘No, it is not fine at all- I want to do anything I can for you. Anything, if it will make you happy—So, please tell me. What would you like me to do?’

‘.....You’ll do anything?’

Confirming his assent, Alice asked him.

But at the same time, she became anxious.

Peter was always persistently conveying his affection for Alice in a way that was easy to understand. She got that his stalker-like pushiness was because he loved her without understanding emotions.

However, Alice had never once said anything to him with an affection that went beyond friendship.

I love you, Peter. You’re the one I love the most right now.

The words that would instantly bring an end to everything if she were to say them, were for some reason stuck in her throat, and she couldn’t get them out.

‘Of course, please leave it to me! If it’s for your sake, I will do anything-’

The affirmation she had expected.

Seeing him look as if he didn’t have the slightest thought of refusing anything she had to suggest, Alice became more and more uneasy. If he didn’t accept the words she was about to say, there would be no going back. A bitterness incomparable to the time when she had just arrived to stay temporarily at Heart Castle would remain.

‘Um.....Peter.’

She was the one wanting a response. She was the one who wanted to be sure of his heart.

For those like Alice who could not read hearts as the dream demon could, it was impossible to even establish a relationship without it being put into words. Her throat was so dry she wanted to drink some of the tea she had packed into the basket. However, if she missed her timing right now, Alice would lose her nerve.

Pressing the sweaty palms she had been gripping against her skirt, she at last opened her mouth to speak.

‘Peter White.’

‘Yes.’

Perhaps having sensed her solemn mood, the Rabbit’s voice as he responded was in a higher key than normal, his face serious.

Still feeling nervous enough to want to run away, Alice finally spoke that single sentence.

‘I want you and I to become lovers.’

‘..........’

Red eyes. The eyes that had not changed expression at all even when he had been wounded by the glass, were now greatly widened with surprise.

‘.....Wha-’

‘Because I like you, and I’m in love with you. So, I’d like you to be more.....’

More in love with me.

She wanted Peter to want her to love him too.

Ever since they had returned from the Assembly, they were the lines she had thought of over and over again. The words she should have memorised to the point that she had practised them beforehand seemed about to crumble apart.

She had thought it would become easier once she started talking, but the longer she spoke the more the heat rose to her head—and she was no longer sure exactly what she was saying.

‘Even I know it’s weird to be saying something like this to someone who suddenly appeared out of nowhere to bring me to this world. And Peter, you were the one to get me caught up in all these strange rules too.....that’s why I thought you were nothing more than a pervert. Well, even now I don’t really think you’re all that normal either.....’

‘..........’

As he listened to Alice's words, Peter’s eyes remained huge and he had stopped moving. There was the fact that he was in rabbit form too, but when he looked like that, he had the same appearance of the plush toy she had used as a practice partner in the time period just before.

Nonetheless, the twitching, moving ears and red eyes indicated that he was indeed breathing.

‘Even I don’t get why I fell in love with you, even now I’m not sure how things ended up this way but.....when you tell me just being together is enough for you.....it made me feel lonely somehow.’

Her first love had ended without anything being desired of her.

There was no guarantee that history wouldn’t just repeat itself. Because Alice was still the same stubborn child without any charm that she had been back then.

Which was the reason why, somewhere in her heart she was prepared to be rejected. While thinking to herself that she would be able to take it, the anxiety seemed about to crush her.

‘Because, just like I want you to love me, I want you to feel the same way about me. As my lover.’

‘..........’

Still looking dumbfounded, the White Rabbit was listening to Alice’s words.

As far as she could tell, he appeared to be correctly comprehending their meaning.

She wasn’t yet sure whether he was so surprised he was unable to speak, or feeling put on the spot.

‘I want you to be my lover, Peter.’

‘..........’

Her heartbeat felt unsteady.

Gripping bloodless fingertips, Alice slowly repeated herself.

Now the final part of her confession, that she hadn’t been able to decide on until the very end.

That’s right, what she truly wanted. The wish she most wanted granted—when it came right down to it, was only this.

‘Peter White, please become Alice Liddell’s lover.’

The White Rabbit still hadn’t moved.

He was unmoving to the point that she began to wonder whether he really had become a stuffed toy.

‘..........’

‘..........’

As for Alice, who had finished her confession, she was so desperately trying to calm her wildly beating heart that she was unable to speak.

The silence was painful. She was only becoming more and more anxious.

‘I want our love to be mutual, Peter.’

‘..........’

With a small pop.

Faster than speaking a reply, the White Rabbit changed form.

From the form of an animal, to that of a young man with a handsome face.

His red and white colouring remained unchanged. Still, there was a difference in the height of his line of sight.

Slightly turning up the face that had been looking below just a moment ago, Alice spoke.

‘If you say you’ll do anything for me, then grant my wish. I don’t need anything else. The only thing I want, the only wish I want you to grant is—for you to be my lover.

‘..........’

‘Hey, are you listening, Peter?’

It did appear that the stupefied Peter’s gaze was meeting Alice’s, but also as if it wasn’t.

As she looked at the seemingly dazed face, unsure as to what to do, her mouth ended up running ahead of her.

‘Didn’t you tell me at Clover Tower, that you’d be with me forever? That's what you told me, but from the moment I arrived at Heart Castle you said stuff like you didn’t know what to do and got all distant, so if you don’t make up for doing that, it wouldn’t be fair compensation…..’

If he turns me down, there’s no going back.

Don’t say no. Don’t reject me. 

Because Peter continued to remain silent, the voice of the person that had broken up with her back then repeated itself inside her head.

—I can’t go out with you anymore—

She wondered why her past self had never thought of the possibility that she wouldn’t be accepted.

‘Peter, hey, are you listening to me?’

If the words, “I love you” that he had said to her again and again weren’t a lie-

‘I’m in love with you.’

Alice didn’t want to think she had fallen in love with this Rabbit because he accepted her.

That time, that place. She wanted to believe the reason she hadn’t been able to get the red that had been more vivid than the spilled blood out of her mind wasn’t simply out of self-preservation.

‘Alice.’

At the end of a long, long silence.

Hearing her own name called, she started and trembled.

As she focused so that her gaze wouldn’t leave his face for even a moment, an awkward sounding voice called her name once more.

‘Alice, can I…..hold you?’

Red eyes that had never disappeared from her memories ever since then.

Alice was definitely reflected in them, as he called her name.

‘.....Eh? Ah…..Y-Yeah, sure.’

And then.

It started as a gentle hug, but as if to say that wasn’t enough, he increased the pressure and held her more tightly.

His white face was on the other side of hers. The strength of the arms that clung to her made the inside of her mind become pure white.

The only thing she could sense was the pleasant smell of soap.

She was enveloped in the arms of the spotlessly pure-white Rabbit, who had never accepted anyone up until now.

‘…..…..’

‘…..…..’

Not sure how to respond to the embrace, Alice was unable to make a move.

And not only that, because she couldn’t see his face, the White Rabbit’s answer was still unclear to her.

If someone who was normally so loud about telling you how much they loved you fell completely silent, it would be more strange to not feel anxious about it.

She moved back a little so that she could timidly take a peek at his face, but the red arms pulled her closer.

‘Please, don’t look at me.’

‘Peter?’

His arms were trembling. His arms had also been shaking when he had stopped her back at Clover Tower, and at the door in the Forest.

His movements right now were the same as the times when he had gone to get her back.

However—there was something different. Although what that difference was, Alice herself didn’t know.

‘Are you, crying?’

‘Please don’t run away.’

A hug so tight she couldn’t move. It didn’t hurt, it simply…made her feel warm inside.

She hoped these emotions weren’t just her own self-conceit.

‘Let me hold you…..’

His voice. His arms. His warmth.

In the white world that she was gently enveloped in, unable to speak yet again, Alice closed her eyes.

Neither she nor the White Rabbit could read hearts like the dream demon could. That was why they became anxious, and even irritated at being unable to be sure.

All the same, on the other hand, she now knew that it made the emotion of the moment you finally understood one another all the stronger.

‘…..…..’

She had a feeling she understood how the dream demon had felt when he had told Peter that he envied him for not being able to read hearts.

Even though when she had been trembling from the anxiety of uncertainty, she had been in a world of ice where she hadn’t been able to feel a thing-

Right now there was no place that felt better to be than in these arms.

***

In the Country of Clover, Mafia organisations other than the Family Blood lead existed. Those who were friendly with Hatter Mansion, and those who were their enemies…..their relationships with each of them differed, but it was rather rare for one of them to have the guts to fight with them head-on.

The Hatter Family was by no means a war-like mafia group. In reflection of its leader’s personality, though they never let the things they wanted escape them, they did not spend their time purposely harassing the weak.

It would have to be an exceptional incident to cause the top brass to take the initiative in crushing an enemy organisation.

A large mansion not far from the Forest of Doors, towering above its surroundings. Inside, at this very moment, the sounds of gunshots and screams intermingled.

The interior of the vast mansion was filled with the sounds of angry bellows and voices dripping with hatred.

As they yelled out, the members that belonged to this organisation were dashing about.

‘Where are they?! I heard they were on the upper floor just a moment ago, but the bastards have gone and disappeared.’

‘Whaddaya mean, no matter how good these guys are, if we come at them with these numbers…..Guah-!’

Mixing in with the sounds of panicked footsteps, the heavy sound of a gunshot fell over the area.

Startled, as the black suit wearing men turned around, standing in front of them was the figure of a tall man.

‘“If you come at us with these numbers”-what was that again?’

He smelled of gunpowder smoke and blood. His dangerous aura working to his advantage, the corners of the man’s mouth lifted into a grin. The golden gun he held in one hand swayed a little, fresh smoke rising from the muzzle.

‘You picked a fight with us. Don’t tell me you were stupid enough to think this would be enough to settle the score?’

‘Th-The March Hare!?’

‘.....Hmm?’

In the next moment after the blood-spattered hair lightly shifted, the finger that had already been on the trigger quickly moved.

Blam, blam-!

‘G-Gyaah-!’

‘Guah-.....Ugh-’

Once the sound of the successive shots was over, all of the men who had been standing in his line of sight were lying face-down on the floor.

From the unmoving bodies large pools of blood spread outwards, staining the floor around them.

‘Sheesh, what about me looks like a Hare? …..Too many guys with poor eye-sight around here.’

There was no-one to answer Elliot’s complaint as he turned around looking unfazed.

‘He’s over there-!’

‘He’s alone, right now’s our chance-!’

As if to block his vision, about ten men ran at him, holding guns.

To begin with, the difference in power level between the role-holding Elliot and the men who were not role-holders was too great. No matter how they tried to overwhelm him through sheer force of numbers, that degree of difference was not so easily changed.

‘Man, where do all these guys keep on coming from…..?’

Raising his gun to shoot in the same way he had just a moment ago, he suddenly stopped.

With a sneering grin, he leisurely turned his back and began to walk away, as if he had forgotten all about the men behind him.

They were not the kind of people to turn down such an obvious golden opportunity.

As they all brandished their guns at once thinking that now was their chance, about to pull the trigger—the guns disappeared from their hands.

No, more precisely, it was not the guns, but the arms that had been lifting the guns that were falling to the floor.

‘Wha-.....Gyaah-!’

‘M-My arm-!’

At the end of an instant of silence, they screamed in pain at the wounds that had been inflicted on them. Their bodies writhed in agony at the overflowing red that gushed out, but it did not continue for long.

‘You guys are supposed to be grownups, but you’re being so noisy. Isn’t it just embarrassing to do nothing but scream? I could never act like that, right, Brother?’

‘Of course not, Brother. So pathetic…..Let’s hurry up and finish them off quickly.’

Whoosh.

Effortlessly swinging supremely sharp blades were two young men. Flexibly making use of their long arms and legs they appeared like a storm.

Their blood spattered figures proved that their second name was a fitting one.

‘We gotta take care of them quick so we can pick up Big Sis. We’re definitely gonna be able to get a special holiday since we’ve been working so hard. I can’t wait to play with Sis once she comes back, Brother.’

‘Yeah, it’s been so boring without her. Playing with Boris isn’t too bad, but playing with Sis is fun in a different way. And if we keep working so diligently, I’m sure we’ll get a bonus out of it too.’

The one with blue eyes and tied-back long hair was Tweedle Dee.

The one with red eyes and a short haircut was Tweedle Dum.

They were the Gatekeepers of Hatter Mansion, the Bloody Twins.

‘What are you guys getting all worked up about? There’s no way you’re getting special holidays or bonuses standing around chattering like that.’

Elliot exasperatedly scolded the Twins who had come closer to him after stepping over a number of enemy corpses.

However, the two simultaneously pouted and protested.

‘No way, that’s a labour law violation right there. It’s a boss’ duty to give proper rest time to employees that’ve been doing good work. Well, I suppose a rabbit like you wouldn’t understand.’

‘That’s right, stupid rabbit. Not like we were expecting anything from the likes of you anyway.’

‘You guys…..exactly what part of me looks like a rabbit?’

The Twins didn’t appear to be the least bit frightened of Elliot, whose distinctive brown ears twitched and trembled as they pointed straight upwards in indignation.

Rather, speaking as if it were only reasonable, they continued to mouth off.

‘Just so you know, once Big Sis comes back, she’s playing with us first. There’s ab-so-lute-ly no way we’re going to hand her over to you. It’d be a problem if Sis went off to Heart Castle again because of a chick rabbit.’

‘Yeah, she’s gone out to play here and there for the first time in a while, so once she comes home we’re going to go to the bath together. We even bought new toys for the occasion…..and we’re not gonna let you come with us, stupid rabbit.’

Seeing the youths stick out their tongues at him with a ‘bleh’ in the way children would, Elliot had already reached his limits. You could say it was a miracle he’d kept it together even this long, since he had the kind of personality that never thought longer than three seconds.

‘Quit saying I’m a rabbit-! You shitty brats!!’

‘Ohh…..so you wanna go? That’s fine by me, these guys were such pushovers, I was getting so bored.’

‘A rabbit’s probably not worth picking a fight with, though.’

As they glared at each other, the muzzle of the golden gun and the axe blades glinted dangerously.

However, faster than they could swing them at each other, they turned in a different direction.

The gun was pointed just ahead, towards the area he had just been about to walk in. The two axes in the direction of the path they had just walked down.

‘Don’t let the Hatter Family keep doing as they please! We have to stop them here-!’

‘Yeah-!’

As the men surrounded the March Hare and Twins from the front and the rear, intending on attacking them from both sides, at the same time as they called out, readying their guns to fire, they were already on the move.

‘Tch-.....Guess I’ll have to discipline you brats another time.’

‘Us too, it’s a shame we’ll have to leave the rabbit training for later-’

‘And it was such a good opportunity too, what a pain.’

The sounds of gunshots and metal.

The neverending sounds echoed across the mansion’s interior like a storm.

If that was the case, then the three of them right in the middle of it were like a typhoon personified. They ran on, unhesitating in the midst of the rain of bullets, swinging around their weapons.

It was around the time the crimson-dyed time period changed into night that the three bloodstained shadows finished bringing the building’s ability to function to a stand still.

‘Ah, dammit, this dragged on longer than I thought it would…..damn assholes making me go to such trouble. You guys, do your jobs a little better next time, alright?’

‘What are you on about, chick rabbit? We were totally working hard, you picking a fight with us? What about you, sure those arms of yours haven’t gotten slower?’

‘Yeah. Just as I thought, those long ears must get in the way of aiming properly, right?’

If you sweeten the deal by giving us some days off and a bonus for doing outside work, we’ll cut them out for you.

Listening to the black suit wearing Twins, Elliot once more gripped the gun he should have just put away….and then stopped himself.

‘You lot. I won’t stop you if you’d like to volunteer for clean-up duties with Pierce, but exactly how long do you plan on remaining here?’

Smacking the tip of his cane into the palm of his hand, the man who was their leader made his appearance.

His white overcoat was also tinged a faint crimson, as if it had absorbed sprays of blood. Only the hat he wore on his head maintained its jet blackness, looking like it had assimilated the darkness of the night itself.

‘Elliot, Gatekeepers. You have finished your work here, have you not?’

‘Sure have, Blood! We’ve finished taking control of the situation here, there should be no issues leaving the rest to the other guys.’

‘Of course, all done and dusted! We wanna go home as soon as possible too, we hate working overtime.’

‘You’ll be giving us a special bonus for working outside, won’t you? Don’t forget.’

Shrugging his shoulders at the Twins’ saying whatever they pleased, the man unconcernedly turned his back on them and began to walk away.

‘Then, do as you please later on. I’m tired. Let’s hurry up and get back to the Mansion.’

‘..........’

In the end, both the March Hare, who was his right-hand man, and the Twins, followed after Blood as he walked on with brisk footsteps.

Exiting the mansion they had just conquered, as they were about to head into the Forest-

‘Aw jeez, I wonder if Big Sis is coming back soon. I wish the Assembly was over already so I could play with her whenever I want. Don’t you think so too, Brother?’

‘Of course, Brother. I want to go get her from Heart Castle, but if we went now she might end up going through something scary again. It’s not easy being grown up, we have to be patient.’

Since the Assemblies had begun after the move to the Country of Clover, the Hatter Family had destroyed a fair number of organisations.

Despite being in the middle of a mafia feud, the axe carrying Twins spoke nonchalantly, but hearing what they said made the back of the man walking in front of them momentarily pause.

However his reaction was buried by the darkness of the night, and went unnoticed by his subordinates.

‘I’m with you there, I really wanna eat the carrot sticks Alice used to make for me again…..’

‘He really is a rabbit, isn’t he, brother.’

‘Totally a rabbit.’

‘You guys…..who are you calling a rabbit!?’

Despite sensing the beginning of a ruckus behind him, this time the Hatter said nothing.

He was remembering the face of the smiling red Queen at the rose garden.

It appears that girl has become interested in our White Rabbit, you know?

It was as if the amused laughter of his older sister was echoing in his ears.

While listening to the sounds of gunshots and metal, he made his return to Hatter Mansion.

Entering the grounds of the Mansion, he began to head towards his room.

If he were following his usual procedure, after washing off the blood, he would normally first take a glance at any paperwork that had been delivered in his absence, but this time he did not.

‘..........’

The territory of Hatter Mansion was his territory, but even inside it, the Mansion was the place where his power was at its strongest.

And to know what was occurring within its boundaries was the special right of a territory leader.

As if he had sensed something as he was about to return to his private room, he changed directions and headed to a different place entirely.

The place he arrived at was the red rose garden the woman had been laughing in back then.

‘.....Sister…..’

‘Oh, so you’re back. We had not thought you would return until the next time period. That was faster than we expected.’

‘What do you want? It’s unusual for you to be here at night, Sister.’

The light that filled the red garden was enveloped not with the red that the woman loved, but the dark of the night that was the preference of the man.

In his experience, when the Queen who often visited at dusk came to the rose garden at night, it was never a sign of anything good.

As he spoke, not even trying to hide his disgruntlement, Vivaldi gave a broad smile and said, ‘I’ve come to tell you something interesting.’

Seeing a smile that was brilliant enough to not lose out to the roses around them, Blood got even more of a bad feeling.

‘Something…..interesting you say?’

‘Indeed. Of course, it is about a subject that cannot help but interest you, about Alice. You will listen, we are sure?’

‘—Has something happened to the young lady?’

The tone of voice of the younger brother who had suffered complete defeat at their last conversation instantly changed.

As the Hatter he was good at hiding his true feelings and did not attempt to make them known to others. That was how he preferred things to be. Nevertheless, the rose garden was a different matter.

The expression on his face shifted as if he had gone back in time, to the disposition he had had before becoming a role-holder.

‘I believe I warned you that I would destroy the Castle if anything happened to her. I assume that means Peter White has no attachment to the place he lives in.’

‘Heheh, heheheh.’

He gave a momentary sharp glare at the laugh that had escaped her, as if she couldn’t quite help it, but the expression on the woman’s face remained the same.

‘Sister?’

‘Too bad for you, Blood…..The one to make a move wasn’t White. It was Alice.’

‘.....What?’

Smiling broadly at the suddenly sour mood of her younger brother, the Queen continued to tell her story.

‘Not so long ago, at noon, they went out together, just the two of them. And when they returned, Alice had the sappiest look on her face. She looked so sentimental standing next to White we just wanted to tear him into a thousand pieces.’

‘..........’

‘In the time period before that, she was even practising how to seduce White in her bedroom. Goodness, do not you think her ever so adorable?’

For Vivaldi, noon was normally a time period when she became completely unable to suppress her irritation. That she had been watching with curious eyes as the girl and the Rabbit she had placed in her basket had left to go out together was something no one else in the Castle knew.

And not just that, the fact that on the way back the aforementioned Alice had returned firmly holding the hand of the White Rabbit who had been in rabbit form when they had left—had not escaped her notice.

‘So then, what will you do, Blood?’

‘What do you mean “what will I do”?’

The Queen who likely knew that her little brother was in a bad mood, purposely spoke to confirm his thoughts on the subject.

‘If that girl were to say that she wished to remain at Heart Castle, and not return to this Mansion…..what will you do?’

‘It’s not like you to be so roundabout when asking a question, Sister.’

Still wearing his blood-drenched coat, it looked as if roses were blooming all over Blood’s body.

No, he looked almost like one of the garden’s roses himself.

And all roses— had their thorns.

‘The young lady herself knows that the current situation is only a temporary one. I find myself unable to believe she would say such a foolish thing.’

‘Hoh, confident, are you?’

‘Confident? No, perhaps I should call it trust.’

Hatter Mansion was a place that guests rarely visited, and on top of that, for an Outsider to have been invited to a Tea Party there was a miracle in and of itself.

It wasn’t just that she was an Outsider. Her presence at Hatter Mansion had become something significant. That the entire family, of which Elliot was an example, was united in wishing for her return as soon as possible, was something that would have been unthinkable up until now.

My home is Hatter Mansion.

Those words were not just Alice’s thoughts alone, they all felt the same way.

‘Alice is one of my Mansion’s people.’

The words they had exchanged at Clover Tower. There had been no lie in the judgement she had made just before going to the Castle.

‘And the next absurd Assembly will be the third one. They will be over before long. Once the young lady has returned to my Mansion, she will come to her senses.’

‘So you’re saying that Alice is not in earnest, Blood?’

Like a red rose, the face of the red Queen stood out against the background of the darkness of the night.

As if to confirm his thoughts, as if to whisper whether he was certain.

‘But, if that girl really has fallen for White…..what will you do?’

‘..........’

The Hatter did not reply.

Still wearing his dark red stained coat, he departed.

As the Queen watched over him as he walked away, she had nothing further to say.

***

‘It seems all went well, Alice.’

‘You really do just appear whenever you want, don’t you.’

The usual dream space.

The pale-faced dream demon smiled faintly as he looked at Alice, just as he had in the dream before.

‘I don’t think I was talking to myself out loud like before, though?’

‘You’re right, your voice this time is much calmer than it was then. I was just feeling lonely because an important friend’s been taken from me.’

‘..........’

Are you the father of the bride or something?

Alice couldn’t help but glare at him in annoyance, but the dream demon was undisturbed. Snickering, his shoulders shook with amusement.

‘Maybe so. I have known you for a long time. As your friend, I cannot help feeling lonely.’

‘Yeah right.’

In any case, someone like you…..must be able to see right through me, right?

The murmuring voice inside her heart. That formless voice must be conveying a truth that was more certain than anything.

Just as she had thought, after his eyes had widened a little, he nodded.

‘That is correct. You have many things you are unable to abandon. It appears you are unable to completely leave behind that which is important to you.’

‘.....Wha-.....’

The face of a gentle person, smiling in the middle of the sunlight.

She wondered if that person was still smiling happily even now, as they did in her memories.

‘I really am a half-hearted person.’

This mad and strange world was the one that she had decided to remain in. At the point that she had chosen this dangerous world of flying bullets, it was impossible that she should be forgiven.

Her hesitation, that made her feel as if she had to return. Her feeling of responsibility, that made her unable to forgive herself for saddening that person. 

Either way, they were emotions that were excessively bitter.

‘You are too kind. There is no need for you to bear the responsibility for absolutely everything.’

‘It’s in my personality. I’m the one who decided to stay here after all.’

She was the one who had made the decision, so she mustn’t depend on anyone else.

As if he had heard that voice in her heart, Nightmare slightly shook his head.

‘It would be perfectly fine to put the blame on someone else…..I am sure that White Rabbit would happily become the guilty one for you, don’t you?’

’No. Peter was the reason I ended up coming to this world, but I’m the one that chose to be here. It’s not anyone else’s fault.’

‘..........’

Hearing what she said, with a smile that seemed somehow sad, somewhat troubled, on his face, the dream demon shook his head yet again.

‘If it’s just nostalgia, I really don’t mind. If you must go astray, make sure to do so only within my dreams.’

‘Nightmare?’

While she was tilting her head in puzzlement at the mysterious words, as if he had just remembered something he held out both hands.

As he arranged both hands as if scooping up water, a small card appeared before Alice’s eyes.

‘One of these will also be delivered to the Queen next evening. I am sure she will let you know as well, but I thought I might give this to you a step in advance. It is the invitation for the next Assembly.’

‘The next Assembly?’

A wry smile rose on her face at the thought of the beginning of another of those tiring Assemblies, but at the same the thought of something continuing on made her feel relieved.

In this world, both land and the people on it ended up moving. There was no telling when the time to part would come.

That which never changed, that which continued on. There was definitely a part of her that wished for things to remain the same.

‘My apologies for betraying your expectations but…..the next Assembly is likely to be the last one.’

‘Huh? What do you mean by “last”?’

The dream demon carefully explained to the surprised Alice.

‘Assemblies are originally held by the organiser during periods of instability. Even the instability after moving will eventually settle. And once things return to their proper flow, there is no longer any meaning in holding them.’

Everyone said that after moves things were somewhat unstable.

That was something Alice herself had also experienced when she had gone on her outing with Peter not so long ago. Even though she should have been somewhere near Clover Tower, it was still fresh in her memory that she had ended up getting lost in the Forest of Doors.

She never wanted to experience something like that ever again. That was what she thought, but the fact that the rhythm she had at last grown used to would soon no longer exist made her all the more anxious instead.

‘It’ll simply be returning to how things used to be. Just the same trifling occurrences repeating themselves as before.’

‘..........’

‘It’s written in the invitation too, but you will most likely be coming to my territory in about ten time periods.’

—I shall be awaiting you at my Tower, Alice—

Click.

As always, at the sound of his finger click, Alice’s consciousness awoke in an instant.

Looking up at the ceiling she had grown completely accustomed to, she dazedly moved her lips.

‘The Assembly is going to be over…..?’

A quiet voice. It was barely loud enough to faintly shift the air of the night, but it was a solid sounding voice.

Alice was only to stay here in this Castle until the Assemblies were over.

That had been the promise she had made with her employer Blood. Even though at the start she had told herself she would only be here temporarily, Alice had asked the White Rabbit to be her lover and been accepted.

Ah, in the end, love really did make a fool out of her. She wondered why she hadn’t thought of what would happen next. She wondered why she’d been unable to think things through a bit more rationally.

A temporary residence with a time limit. Once it was over, they would have to part.

She had wished for them to be together forever, but that she would be separated from the White Rabbit had already been decided.

Nevertheless, that it would be painful for the both of them was something Alice already knew. She hadn’t forgotten the sorrow she had felt when Peter had been avoiding her when she first came to Heart Castle.

She never wanted to feel that way again. She didn’t want to let him feel that way either.

All the more because he was someone that had only just become able to accept that she loved him, she didn’t want to make him feel as she had.

How could she ever do anything that would sadden him?

Nothing had changed in how she felt about Hatter Mansion. It was still a place that was important to her, where she had been accepted for the first time in this world. No matter the danger, it was impossible that she would ever come to hate it.

It wasn’t just the principal people of the Mansion.…. like Blood, Elliot, Dee and Dum. The maids she had become friendly with and the other Family members too, she loved all of them.

It was only that the affection she felt for them, and the feelings she had for Peter, were pulling her in different directions.

It wasn’t a matter of choosing, it had already been decided. Because of the debt of gratitude she felt, including for the kindness of her fickle Master, she could never betray them.

She could just visit Heart Castle during her work breaks. It would be a simple matter of going back and forth from there as she had before.

However—it would mean that after she was greeted with the words, “Welcome”, they would always end with words of parting, “See you next time.”

‘..........’

Before she had realised it, in her hand there was a single sealed letter she hadn’t seen before.

Her fingers trembled at the solid feel of the paper with the green wax seal.

‘What am I supposed to do...’

Alice hadn’t expected that she herself would start to think that she didn’t want to leave him.

The afternoon she had confessed, Peter had looked so happy as he took her hand and walked the road home together.

Until now there had been many occasions where he had led her by the hand. The one to come for Alice whenever she had hesitated at the doors was always that white hand.

Up until now, it was usual for him to be the one guiding Alice.

Normally Alice walked behind him as he held her hand, but that time it had been different.

“Let’s go home together.”

There had been joy, mixed with a slight bashfulness in the red eyes.

The White Rabbit stood next to Alice, and walked so they were side by side.

In a position so that whenever they looked to the side, they could see each other's faces. Even without waiting for him to turn back, or even if he didn’t look back, they were able to smile at each other.

Even such a small thing had made her so unbelievably happy, she had wanted the road home to continue on forever.

Back then, the path they had been on had led to the red Castle.

However, to begin with, Alice’s road home did not normally continue on to this Castle, but to that Mansion.

‘.....What on earth am I supposed to do…..’

The girl who possessed a strong sense of responsibility, caught between duty and love, was alone as she looked down and held her head in her hands.

[balladeez-nuts]

Recently I realized how much the song Pacific by Chase Petra fits Furina and Focalors' stories, so I figured I'd do a little (ha.. after finishing, maybe not little) lyric analysis. I'll go through the first verse and chorus from the eyes of Focalors and then move onto Furina as I think it fits better that way

"I hate gambling but I was handed a full house" This could represent how Focalors wanted nothing more than to be human, yet she was still granted divinity instead, which in most cases would be seen as a blessing, that is of course unless you see being human as far greater than any godly abilities.

"The swords on the cards sliced open my palms and all I could do was bleed on the money I’d won" This of course reiterates just how much her granted divinity was anything but a blessing. Not only did she not want godhood, but the threat of the prophecy coming as a package deal with her new responsibility wouldn't have been the easiest thing to handle. Having it all suddenly thrust upon you when your current beloved leader suddenly perishes.

"And everyone was confused, didn’t know why I was blue, couldn’t show them my wounds" Now obviously this one works more with Furina, but I believe I can make a case for connecting it with Focalors as well. As we're going to get into with the next couple of lyrics, Focalors' plan is to deceive everyone in order to deceive the heavenly principles, and though her mind's fortification may be stronger than that of Furina's because of her divinity, that doesn't mean she didn't have her own feelings about their predicament, especially at the beginning I'd wager. Anyone she had contact with prior to being given the seat of the Hydro archon she would have to leave behind, and as she says herself, she does fear her death, if only a little.

"Had to bluff after the game, knowing it wasn’t the same, I put a smile on my face" I could talk about the ways to interpret this line for paragraphs, but I'll spare you for now. What I've landed on, to keep it as simple as I can, are some pieces that are fairly obvious and some that are a little more between the lines. Obviously, the bluffing here would refer to her plan to feign the prophecy coming to pass. For the next bit, however, she knew Furina wasn't the same as her, but no one else would, and she put a smile on Furina's face, which for all intents and purposes is her face. In other words, she would be the only one aside from Furina herself to know that the prophecy as Celestia sees it happening isn't the same as what will actually happen, and she was directly responsible for Furina having to feign happiness for 500 years.

"Cause I looked like I owned the ocean after twenty years of staring at the sea" These lines are far more interesting from Furina's perspective, but for now, I think this part pertains quite well to Focalors recounting how she sat on the seabed until barnacles grew on her. It may well have been 20 years she spent thinking about how to handle and defy the prophecy.

"And all I could think about was the sand at the bottom and how I wished that it would bury me" Perhaps these are her feelings after she realizes her one chance to save her people is to sacrifice herself, to spend centuries in waiting just to gain enough power to destroy herself and her heavenly throne.

"And how the speed of light is far too fast to barrel into a tidal wave" Instead of focusing on the speed of light, I think this line suits more to highlight that the passage of time must have felt a lot quicker for her as a god than it did for Furina. And considering her, albeit small, fear of death, it must have felt far too fast as time barreled towards her impending sacrifice.

"Last night I cried enough to make the Pacific blush" It's not hard to imagine that before she separated the part of her that became Furina from herself she had more of Furina's sensitivity, and that perhaps with the crushing realization of her situation, she had cried quite a bit. It would be no surprise if the Hydro archon's tears were powerful as well, considering how the Hydro dragon's are.

"Now hear me say" I mark this line as the transition from Focalors to Furina, and it could be used for all sorts of moments with her. Luckily for us this line is used multiple times so I shall be using different moments for each one. This one particularly with its contrast to an upcoming line in its intensity in the singer's voice, I think it works quite well with how Furina first attempted her accession speech, polite and reserved. Asking to be heard, but not demanding it.

"I hate gambling but I was handed a full house" Now continuing from what I said above, obviously the more intensely sung part of this line would be her stepping into the intensity of the presence of a god. Onto the lyrics however, it's clear that this personality, no matter how effortlessly it looks, does not come naturally to her. Nevertheless she was handed this destiny, and like she says, it's hers alone to fulfill.

"Lost an ace in the deck don’t know how I’ll get around this" This line and how it focuses more on cards makes me think of Lyney, and the word "lost" fits well within this context as well. The first trial Furina takes up against the traveler she loses, which not only serves as wonderful foreshadowing for her final trial, but also begs the question, did she see it coming? It's quite possible she knew the traveler leaves change in their wake, she likely could see them being a cause of her act being threatened in the future, thus she would likely be questioning how she could possibly avoid that coming to pass.

"And everyone was confused, didn’t know why I was blue, couldn’t show them my wounds" This one doesn't need any stretches to be clear as day. Everyone was confused, most notably Neuvillette and Arlecchino as they had multiple meetings with Furina in an attempt to get any answers from her, yet still she let nothing slip. For her being blue, though it is contradictory to how she consistently presents herself as cheerful or at the very least confident, when Arlecchino threatens her life, she is able to see behind her mask for a moment. And this only serves to further confuse Arlecchino, why would a god be so meek, why would she be crying? As for being unable to show wounds, that is exactly the situation Furina is in. However, what really pulls me to this line is the almost regret in the singer's voice on the last word, this serves very well to highlight Furina's feelings after she, even if only in her inner world, denies confiding in the traveler. It's not exactly regret, but I think the mix of emotion in the singer's tone fits perfectly with where Furina's head was at.

"Had to bluff after the game, knowing it wasn’t the same, I put a smile on my face" I imagine this is when she takes over the trial, rallying the crowd in her favor despite knowing this isn't the same as the trials she is usually a spectator of. It is a trial against her, the "Hydro archon" after all, but despite this she still puts on a smile and stands her ground, confidently.

"Cause I looked like I owned the ocean, after twenty years of staring at the sea" She indeed looks like she owns the ocean, the seas, all of water itself, and she has spent the last 500 years maintaining this image.

"And all I could think about was the sand at the bottom, and how I wished that it would bury me" Through the entirety of her excruciatingly long life, she has been waiting for the end of it, the "magnificent and dramatic" trial that will save everyone. Though she doesn't know yet that this trial she is on is the trial she has been waiting for, I think it's safe to say that this line can represent her feelings about it. All she could think about was the end, and how she wants so desperately for it to come.

"And how the speed of light is far too fast to barrel into a tidal wave" Now this line could either be used in contrast to Focalors' version to show how agonizingly slow it has been for Furina to wait this long, or it could be used to represent how quickly her trial turns against her favor. Her weight with her people now meaning nearly nothing, even the Oratrice is not tilted towards her.

"Last night I cried enough to make the Pacific blush" This one speaks for itself, the countless nights she spent crying, so much so that she starts to not even realize when it slips through during the day, and the Fountain of Lucine carrying so much of her sadness that you can hear her sobbing in its flow if you listen close enough.

"Now hear me say" I think this line, though not holding as much desperation as she did, can fit the mark for her begging for her people to believe her. Even through her own tears, she needs them to believe her, they have to hear her. Anyone needs to hear her, and yet as the trial comes to an end not one person is even looking at her.

"I’m sorry" x8 Her apologies for the people who died due to her inability to take action as a true god would. When she goes to Poisson she is hit with a great amount of guilt, seeing the buildings greatly damaged and the place nearly completely evacuated, the emotion slowly building as each apology is said fits very well with how her emotions boil over, guilt, anger, helplessness, like she says "But what can I even do, other than to repeat meaningless apologies over and over?"

The repeated chorus after this serves well as a reiteration of the previous thoughts, but through an even more emotion heavy lens. The singing ramps up in emotional intensity, and specifically on the line "And how I wish that it would bury me", it sounds very raw. This jumps out to me as Furina telling herself to give up, that there's no point in holding out anymore. Despite how she holds strong, the desire to give up is still there, and this line represents it well.

"I’m sorry" x4 The resignation and sadness in these final apologies fits perfectly with Furina succumbing to the death sentence she thinks she has been given and the crushing realization that she has failed her people and that because of this everyone will die. She does not know this is part of Focalors' plan, she can't know in order for the plan to work, so she's playing her role, now without even knowing it, as the Hydro archon, weeping on her throne.

[notaguidinglight]

The New Lover House Analysis

I want to analyze the contents of each room in the new Lover House on tour to see if it may shed light on the story Taylor is trying to convey. The new Lover House and the house Taylor burns on tour are not the same, but I think they are linked. (I'll explore that later.)

I also want to note that I don't think each room necessarily corresponds to just an era. Especially because folklore and evermore were added on after to the existing staircases. I think each room could also portray a specific muse, a specific emotion, or a specific time of Taylor's life (not directly associated with an album).

Blue/1989 Room:

The most notable difference is the exclusion of the fishbowl. The consensus is that the fishbowl represents Taylor being heavily in the public eye (the fishbowl) and her partner's willingness to get in the fishbowl with her. With the fishbowl gone, Taylor has moved away from being so much in the public and no longer requires her partner to be scrutinized as well (they live in peace).

The fishbowl has been replaced with a cabinet or wardrobe or, dare I say, closet. Is the relationship existing within the closet now?

Another notable different is the removal of the outer wall on the right. We can now see the whole room. Nothing is hidden from us any more (except what is in the closet).

There is also a new skylight, allow more light into the room (stepping into the daylight), compared to the very dark original room. Because of this skylight, and more windows throughout the house, I don't see this as Taylor "moving out" of the Lover House. Some other architectural features of each room, like door placements or beams, are also different throughout. It's either a new house or she did renovations.

Pink/Lover Room:

Reiterating some of the same differences from the Blue Room, the Pink Room has an additional window, the door has moved, and the outer wall is gone. The room looks brighter overall. There are less curtains on the windows, again allowing more daylight into the room.

In the original Pink Room, there were even curtains on the wall, which are now missing in the new room. "Drew my curtains closed/Drank my poison all alone." With the amount of curtains, she was really trying to conceal what was happening in the original room. That doesn't seem to be the case in the new room.

There are some items strewn across the floor, possibly magazines, books, or vinyls, which again make me think Taylor has moved into this house. It's not the look of someone moving out.

I've seen theories that the two squares on the wall could be spots for stolen albums. That doesn't fully make sense to me because Taylor has more than 2 re-records to release when tour started. However, they could be placeholders for vault work from Lover or the true muses of the album/Pink Room.

I will discuss yellow dress Taylor and the mirror in a later post.

Brown Closet/evermore:

Taylor has thrown out all her yellow clothes. (Although she did save one yellow dress...)

Is this even a closet anymore in the new house? There's no hanging rod, no shelving. Maybe she will repurpose the room now that she doesn't need the closet.

One idea that always interested me from the original Lover house and the Lover music video is that Taylor has to go through the closet to reach the attic. The attic, which is been noted as reputation, is only accessible from the closet. Like the story behind reputation is only revealed by viewing it from a closeted/queer lens? Will we no longer have to go through the closet to get the story of reputation?

Orange/Fearless Room:

I'll say it again: more windows, less curtains, more daylight.

The original room acted as a game room, but Taylor has removed all the games in the new. Is she done playing games? (I don't think so, but maybe those days are coming to a close.)

People say this room is upside down. And yes parts of it are, but it's also right side up. The new room looks completely normal, but the chair is on the ceiling, and in the intro of the tour we saw Taylor sitting in that chair. So it's two things at once. Two perspectives at the same time. Could this indicate when Taylor started manipulating the public narrative to protect her private life? And that she is still manipulating it?

Red/Red Room:

The Red Room goes against the grain a little. It has the same number of windows are the original - two. These windows appear to be regular panes, whereas the original had stain glass windows with the crest in the center. These new windows have also added curtains. The original had none. Although there is more light coming into the room, could the addition of curtains be an indication of desired privacy for this room compared to the others? Or is this room just being treated like all the rest?

The New Years Day party in the original Red Room always connected to New Years Day the song on reputation, for me. Was she telling us the New Years Day muse is the same as the Red muse? But evidence of the party is gone in the new room.

Gray Stairs/folklore:

New lights. A lighter gray paint. And the spiral stairs has been replaced by another ladder. This is curious to me. A spiral fits more with Taylor’s imagery now than a straight ladder does. The only interpretation I can see right now for this is that she has taken out some of the steps (fewer rungs on ladder than steps on stairs), so she’s making a clear line for the story. (It’s giving “We’re a crooked love/In a straight line down.”)

This new room also gives me vault vibes. As in it looks like a vault. An empty vault at that…

Green/Debut Room:

Say it with me: more windows, more daylight.

The one detail it this room that sells it for me that Taylor is not moving out, but moving in, is the picture of the cat is in the new room again. Taylor would not leave behind a picture of her cat if she was moving out.

Stairs have also been added to the new room. This is again a potential sign of her connecting the dots for us, making a path to travel along for the story. The stairway path through the house now leads from the Debut room up to the Reputation room.

Purple/Speak Now Room:

The color of this room always confused me. It looks more royal blue than purple (blue/purple glitter anyone…).

But more light again in this room. No change to windows or curtains, but we can see there is definitely daylight coming through.

The dining room table of the original room has been replaced by a single chair. The table Taylor entertained her “lovers” at is gone. Just one chair for herself. Is she no longer entertaining these “lovers”?

Black/Reputation Room:

Last but not least, the Reputation Room.

The lighting change in the new room is really noticeable. A big new skylight and a couple lamps. Taylor wants the light on this room, on this story.

The original attic was filled with old boxes and old furniture, and Taylor goes up there to watch home movies. She was storing all these memories up there, possibly past lives, old selves, and she goes up there to reflect. Maybe to connect with her true self.

In the new room, she has again thrown all of the stuff out. There’s no clutter. Maybe she has healed some of the “baggage” she was storing and doesn’t need to carry to her next life. Now in the new room, we just have light shining on Taylor.

Photo credits: John Shearer/Getty Images, Taylor Swift

Video image credit: Lui Andy/Youtube

[yourkimjaejin]

~ 6:28 pm, Sometime in 2021, Aurora/Moxy/Haechan/Taeyong ~

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Did you get along with the 127 members noona? Like when you were added to the group.” Aurora asked out of the blue.

Moxy barks out a laugh, “HA! No!”

“What.” 

“Yeah seriously. The only members that I was cool with were Donghyuck, Johnny and Doyoung oppa. I’m pretty sure Taeyong hated me. Like the day of my high school graduation, Taeyong lied about having a dance practice just so Johnny and Doyoung couldn’t meet Grandma Jin. He almost made me stay back to practice alone for two hours. Thank God for Soonjae-noona. She covered for me.” 

“Why didn’t any of us know?”

“Unspoken rule. No 127 drama reaches the Dreamies. You all were going thru a lot at the time. Debuting. Jaemin injury. The ticking timebomb that was Marks graduation. There was no reason for you guys to get sucked into our drama.”

Moxy could see the gears turning in the maknaes head. “Huh.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Haechan was sitting on the couch watching a new drama with Johnny and Taeyong. His phone buzzed with an incoming message. Haechan grabbed his phone. Taeyong looks on seeing the younger puzzled at the message before texting back. 

“Who’s that?” 

“Rora,” Haechan took a sip of his coke, “She wanted to know where you were.” 

“Oh.” The three turned back to the show. All was silent for a moment before Haechan sat up. 

“Just putting this out there. I hold no responsibility for what Aurora does with the information I’ve given her. Her actions are her own and I, Lee Donghyuck, am not to be held accountable. Thank you.” Haechan leaned back onto the couch ignoring the looks from his elder members. 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

There was a knock at the door. The three boys were taking a break to order food. Johnny figured it was the delivery man so he got up to open it. Before he could get the door open, Aurora barged in. Aurora looked like a girl on a mission so who was he to stop her. Aurora stormed over, stopping directly in front of Taeyong. He tried to greet her but before he could Aurora clocked him with a right hand

“OH!!” Haechan jumps out of his seat in shock. Quickly, color fills Taeyong’s left cheek as the bruise takes form. Taeyong sat shocked at the actions of nct’s youngest members. One look at the fury written in Aurora’s eyes and Taeyong was hit with reality. 

He knew exactly Aurora was mad. 

And honestly he deserved it. 

“Thats for treating Moxy noona like crap and because she’s too nice to give you the punch you deserved.” And with that Aurora stormed right back out the door. Leaving like nothing happened. They all sat quietly, not really knowing what to say.

“I just want to reiterate, I have nothing to do with that. My hands are clean.” 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Just a little side note. Those of my readers that are in the nct oc discord server, this post is for you if anyone remembers suggesting this but its been sitting in my drafts waiting until I posted the finale to the Taeyong!angst

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr / @1-800-call-ria / @sophrodite / @sunflower-0180

[voraciousvore]

Bucky's (16/44)

***This chapter contains a giantess sex scene! 18+ only!***

Chapter 16: Sobering Recollections

Bianca felt terrible when she sobered up the next morning and recalled all the stupid things she had done. Her head was pounding with a vicious hangover, but she believed she deserved it. She couldn’t believe she had seen Gary again, of all people. And Gio... her throat closed up and tears sprang from her eyes. She had fucked up, badly. She should have spoken to him beforehand. Even if Gary had dumped her when she brought up the subject, there hadn’t been any guarantee that Gio would have reacted in the same way. Eating him without his permission was not a smart move. 

She was tempted to call him, but she figured he needed space. She opted instead to send him a long text apologizing and explaining her actions. She omitted going to Bucky’s and eating her ex-boyfriend, of course, but she did touch on her reasoning for why she didn’t talk to him about it first. She held her phone for a while, staring at the screen and hoping for a reply, but there was nothing. With a sad sigh, Bianca went off to work her job at Big Corp Inc. 

Bianca didn’t hear from Gio for days, nor did she try to contact him again. She considered asking for advice from her friends, but she was too ashamed of herself to admit to them what she did. She began to give up hope that she would ever hear from her beloved. He did break it off with her, after all. So, she was surprised when he finally returned her text. He didn’t give a lot of details, but he said after having some time to himself to think he wanted to talk with her in person. Bianca tried to press him for more details, but he reiterated that he would prefer to have their conversation face-to-face. He asked her to meet him at the railway station near her apartment after work. She agreed. 

She was nervous after everything that had transpired, but she had hope. Gio was at least willing to see her again. That was a good sign. If he wanted nothing to do with her, then he wouldn’t have bothered. He would have ghosted her, and she’d never know what happened to him. She didn’t bother to stop at her apartment after work to freshen up, and instead alerted Gio via text she was going directly to the station. At least she looked sharp and attractive in her work uniform. Since Mr. Hardon was no longer her boss, Bianca had gotten nice pantsuits to wear that were far more modest and work-appropriate. No more short skirts and cleavage and uncomfortable heels. She was thankful in particular to not have to wear skirts now that there were more humans working at the office, so she wouldn’t have the social awkwardness of poor little humans staring up at her panties from floor level. 

She sat down on a nearby bench and waited impatiently. A railcar pulled up and she saw the tiny form of a man step out. Gio. She wanted to lunge over to him, snatch him up in her hands, and pull him into a hug against her chest, but restrained herself. She waited for him to reach the edge of the awning. Even from where she was sitting, she could tell he was shaking with fear. Her heart sank. 

“B-Bianca?” he called out, and took a few timid steps forward. Gio was startled at first by the Giantess in a full suit. She looked crisp and professional, from her shiny dress shoes to her dark tie, with the pressed black suit fitting her sensual form perfectly. He felt intimidated, as if he were gazing at a different Giantess, a stranger, one that was colder and more corporate. Yet, he knew she was still the same gorgeous, sweet woman, just a different flavor in the moment. He had to admit that the suit was sexy, and Bianca was irresistible. He couldn’t stay away for long, even if he was afraid of her. 

“Gio,” she replied, keeping her voice low so as not to frighten him more. “Can I... um...?” 

“You can come over here,” he said after a brief pause. “And... you have my permission to pick me up.” Bianca slowly rose to her feet and walked over to the station, her shoes clacking on the pavement, painfully aware of how large she was from Gio’s perspective. He managed to stand his ground, despite her towering over him. She kneeled down and offered him her hand. Even though he told her he was okay with her picking him up, she still wanted to give him a choice. She could see the whites of Gio’s eyes as they rolled around in his head. He gazed up at the Giantess dwarfing him before slowly climbing up into the palm of her massive, yet elegant, hand. Bianca held still until he was in a comfortable position, then gently lifted him up. 

Bianca didn’t know what to say, and Gio remained silent, so she walked back to her apartment in a hush. Finally, she cleared her throat and asked, “Are you okay, Gio?” 

He hesitated. “Yeah.” After a long pause, he continued, “You scared the hell out of me, Bianca.” He turned around in her palm to face her. “I thought I was going to die.” 

“I-I know,” she stammered. “I’m sorry.” 

“With that said... I suppose I understand, after you explained it to me. You were afraid to lose me. And you got carried away in the moment. Just... I wish you had trusted enough in me to talk about it first. And you hadn’t sprung that on me without my permission. That was not okay.” He shook his head. “I love you. I even love that you’re a Giantess, despite being so scared when I first met you. It’s hot. But you can’t do that sort of thing to me. It scares me to think I have no control around you, and you could do whatever you want to me, even kill me.” 

“I would never!” Bianca protested vociferously. “I made a mistake. It won’t happen again. I respect you, Gio, and I’d never want to use my size against you.” 

“Okay,” Gio said. “I believe you. I think we can move past this whole incident.” Bianca agreed. By now, they had reached Bianca’s apartment. Bianca unlocked the door and brought Gio inside. 

“Do you want to... stay the night?” Bianca asked hopefully. She felt the lightest tremor from Gio sitting in her hand and he averted his gaze away, tracing the lines of her palm with his finger. 

“S-sure,” he agreed, but she could hear a slight edge to his voice. She realized he had been concealing his anxiety the whole time. 

“Only if you want to. No pressure,” she clarified. “I would understand if you wanted to go home early.” 

“O-of course. I want to stay,” he verified, fidgeting with his hands. He met her hazel eyes again. “Y-you won’t eat me again, right?” His face went pale. 

“No, no, I won’t,” Bianca assured him. “Unless you were okay with it.” She gave him a pointed look. 

“Maybe at some point, but definitely... definitely not right now,” Gio admitted. “I need time to recover and think about it, Bianca.” The Giantess nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t comment further. She placed Gio on the bed so her hands were free and began shedding the layers of her suit, to change into more casual clothes. She loosened her tie, removed her jacket, and kicked off her shoes. Once she stripped down, she reached into her closet to grab a clean shirt. 

“Wait,” Gio piped up. Bianca halted. She was in nothing but her undergarments. “Come over here, Bianca.” With her heart beating fast, Bianca came over to the bed and sat down. “Lay down for me.” She obeyed and held still, waiting to see what Gio would do. He admired her perfect, colossal form before using her hand and arm as a ramp to hike up her body. Bianca remained motionless but felt her pulse quicken faster. His tiny feet tickled her skin slightly as he traced the line of her arm. He climbed her shoulder and neck, then hauled himself up her chin to her face. He bent down and hugged her plump lips with his arms, kissing her sensually. Bianca reciprocated with gentle movements of her lips. Gio’s distinctively fizzy ginger ale taste played on her lips. She was tempted to pull him into her mouth, but she dared not. She didn’t want to scare him off again. 

Gio stood back up and stared deep into Bianca’s striking hazel eyes, admiring the flecks of gold, green, and gray peppering her irises. He climbed back down her chin and strolled over to the bulging mountains on her chest. He bounced on her gigantic breast, wriggled down into her bra, and straddled her nipple. After playing with it a little to stimulate her, he continued down the slope of her smooth, flat belly until he reached her panties. He undressed, throwing his clothes over the side of her pelvis. Bianca was breathless as he slipped under the lace to access her crotch. 

Gio massaged her clit with both hands and rubbed his body up against her hot, moist genitals. Bianca moaned softly and spread her huge, lean thighs wider. He slipped his own legs inside her and pumped them with vigorous, purposeful kicks. Her vaginal muscles pulsed around him, squeezing him and stimulating his hard cock. He stroked himself against her slippery flesh, becoming sopping wet in the process. He submerged himself up to his chest in her body and thrust himself in and out, wriggling wildly. Her vagina, hungry for his body, crushed him and sucked him in further.  

Bianca’s moans escalated and vibrated through both her body and his. He could feel her blood rushing and pounding through the hot flesh surrounding him. Taking a deep breath, as if about to dive underwater, he plunged completely inside. He flapped his limbs as if swimming, forcing himself deeper and deeper until he couldn’t hold his breath any longer. He rushed back out of the soaking wet tunnel, poking his head out and taking several heavy breaths before diving back inside, paddling and splashing even further inside, as far as he could go into the warm, soggy, dark depths, to the very core of Bianca’s womanhood. 

Bianca experienced a sublime ecstasy in her innermost sensitive spots, deeper down where no man had ever managed to reach before. She squirmed with pleasure and felt a rising moan erupt out of her as she climaxed. Inside, her vagina crushed around Gio, prompting him to ejaculate simultaneously as he groaned unreservedly with euphoria. Bianca slumped into pure bliss as Gio struggled to get out. He slid out of her pussy and plopped into her panties. He had considerable trouble climbing up, since everything was so slippery, so Bianca reached down and helped him. 

She slopped him in between her enormous breasts and gave him a moment to catch his breath. He was gasping heavily, his cheeks blushing red and his eyes shining. Bianca, too, was sweating and breathing hard. Gio was a remarkable guy. He looked like a drowned rat at the moment, covered in slimy fluids, but he had worked hard to pleasure her. She loved him dearly and was grateful he had returned to her bosom. 

“Let’s get a shower, Gio,” she suggested. He nodded in agreement, panting. She picked up her miniature boyfriend between her graceful finger and thumb and carried him into the bathroom. She started the hot water, cast off her lingerie and glasses, and stepped into the shower, with Gio in her hand. She had a hard time seeing her small man without her glasses and had to squint, but she managed to help him clean up anyway. She rubbed soap all over him with her huge fingers and massaged every inch of his naked body, to his delight. 

Even though Bianca loved Gio, and he had done everything in his power to satisfy her loins, she still felt an empty, nagging ache in her belly that wouldn’t go away. She had yet to eat dinner after her long day, and the urge to feast upon the sexy man in her hand was poignant. She felt a pang of guilt as her thoughts drifted back to her night at Bucky’s, when she had dined on her ex-boyfriend Gary. Gio knew nothing about her little excursion there, and she didn’t want to tell him about it either. She wasn’t sure what she would do if Gio never mustered up the courage to be eaten again. She struggled to repress her desires. If she couldn’t devour him, she might just find herself back at Bucky’s. 

Chapter 17

Chapter 1

[spevvy]

The fact Joel is so SO excited about and committed to the meet & greet he's arranging in CDMX is honestly giving me so much life at the moment and giving me a bazillion more reasons to adore him (not that I needed any I'm already totally on board with his entire everything) cos like:

. He's posted about it at least a zillion times in the last 2 days—this little cupcake is SO HAPPY AT THE PROSPECT OF SEEING HIS FANS IT IS SO BLOODY SWEET I CANNOT

. The amount of polls he's made to make completely sure he gets to see as many people as possible at a time that's most convenient for them rather than just being like "yeah this is the date I'm giving you, it's in 8 months time, if you can't make it tough shit" like wow my guy genuinely and actively cares about every single person and is going out of his way to make sure he gets to see as many of his fans as earthly possible just because he loves them like holy shit folks I cannot think of any other artist who would do this and put so much effort into making it a great experience for everyone. He's a goddam angel.

. It's literally next week. He's arranged it, he's doing it, it's all happening immediately, HE CANNOT WAIT, go and meet him if it's at all possible. ISTFG if I had the funds and a valid passport I would be on the next flight out to Mexico in a goddam muthaflippin HEARTBEAT.

. THE GODDAM PRICE. IT'S FIFTEEN QUID TO MEET **AND HUG** JOEL FRICKIN PIMENTEL BLOODY DE GOSHDARNED LEÓN. And just look at him, you just KNOW he would give the best softest warmest hugs of all time. You just KNOW.

. THE FACT HE SOUNDED GENUINELY APOLOGETIC FOR HAVING TO CHARGE FOR TICKETS . I REPEAT. HE'S CHARGING **FIFTEEN QUID**.

. "FOTO Y ABRAZO GARANTIZADO" — I swear my heart melted into nothing. When there are so many celebrities that do M&Gs but they're so goddam arsey about it, like they're too good for it, and they have all these rules about having to stand a certain distance away or not being allowed to even touch them, like their fans are full of The Pestilence™ or something. Yet, here's one-fifth of the most successful Latino pop group of the century lit-er-a-lee going "IDGAF WHO YOU ARE, IF YOU ARE AT MY MEET AND GREET YOU WILL BE **HUGGED** GODDAMMIT!!!" Just. Ugh. How. Incredible scenes here in the De León fandom. I'm living for it.

. The way he keeps on reiterating how excited he is about this, how much he misses his fans, how he can't wait to see everyone. I mean Jesus Christ, there's no way in the world I could go, there's no way I even really get to call myself a fan compared to everyone who's adored him and supported him for the last 8 years, nothing about this is For Me™—and yet the way his excitement about getting to spend time in person with his fans again is just so pure and real and MASSIVELY contagious.... It's really making me feel so loved and appreciated by proxy. I don't deserve this happiness that I'm not even directly experiencing!!

*sobs uncontrollably in Fangirl*

I hope so so so much that the whole event is a massive success and everyone has the greatest night and he gets back every single ounce of the love he's giving out, multiplied to the power of a bazillion—because honestly him and his fans genuinely deserve this, it's absolutely beautiful. He's such an absolute sweetheart and I just want soooooooooooooooooo many good things to happen for him, I can't wait to find out how it all goes. I can't even begin to tell you how much joy it's bringing me just thinking about how happy it's gonna make so many people, especially him.

I just have a LOT of feelings about this, okay???? A LOT.

^^^^^ actual footage of my entire reaction

[cuppajj]

I do have a lot of quastions about the mech pilot au but these are the ones I'm most curious about:

- how do titans work - do cityspeakers work double time or is something else involved?

- in that vein, what is the Lost Light like? assuming it's part of the mech pilot au similar to your sentient ll au

- do you have any crumbs of mech pilot au mythos/historical records/urban legends to share? I do love me some in-universe lore tidbits

I wrote a little about titans in the greater lore post, so for convenience I'll put what I had here before answering:

Titans are directly spawned from Primus, and the only case of a fully sentient mecha. Curiously though, they can create artificial human bodies to masquerade as an ordinary mech pilot. Some are the size of entire cities, though others are only the size of massive starships. Long ago, the city titans served as as vessels tasked to form colonies on other planets, while the starship titans were talked to chart the edges of the known universe. However, some have remained on Cybertron, and their artificial human consciousnesses walk among ordinary society. Their speakers are real humans who attain cybernetic attachments to help them last longer with their titan, but they are still mortal and die after thousands of years.

On that note:

Speakers are normal humans who receive cybernetic enhancements that extend their lifespan, so they can serve their respective titan the same way they do in the normal universe. They're still mortal however, and are rotated once every ~10,000 years. Being a speaker is a lifelong commitment, and much of their time is devoted to being with their respective titan. It's kinda similar to going to live in a monastery, what with the potential isolation and commitment, but speakers still get more free time than that.

okay so I’m kinda in contention with if I actually want LL to be sentient here, my brain really wants them to be canonically sentient in the main au (esp because the events of MTMTE don’t really happen here) but at the same time, I don’t want to go inserting sentient LL into everything since they’re technically an au in themself! I know mech pilot is my own au but still 😂 that being said I def wrote some parts of the lore post with LL in mind so maybe, anyway: Sentient!LL would be a titan who spends most of their time using their artificial human form (titans don’t turn into humans, they’re more like puppets they control remotely with their own consciousness). Pyxis, their first and only speaker, died eons ago, and they haven’t had another since. Light would be friends with the staff at the academy/organization that trains mech pilots and sends them on missions, especially the uppers (Ultra Magnus in particular). He also hangs out with Rodimus, though their dynamic isn’t the same as it is in the normal SLLAU. Light is still parental in nature to him, but they’re more of an aunt/uncle or family friend figure who isn’t always there but brightens everyone’s day when they are. LL the titan is the same size as their normal counterpart I’d say, which in human proportions is a lot bigger. They were likely meant to serve as an arkship, but they might’ve been a little late to the party.

Still working on the lore bits but for some small bits I’ve been thinking about: humans (cybertronians) have colonies on other planets outside the main set of planets, and there are ancient ruins scattered throughout the galaxy rumored to be built by the knights of cybertron (Rodimus is interested in this). I said these to you in dms but just to reiterate here for everyone else: The best of the best pilots have been to Unicron (The primes and their closest allies), and they’re actually tracking his movement, and there’s a routine visit to it to keep the tracker up to date. The guiding hand was like the first five pilots (with rung in possession of the first forged from Primus’s core), while the 13 were the first 13 to traverse the stars. This could change though so nothing guaranteed!

The quintessons might’ve been Quintus Prime’s fault, splitting from everyone and deciding to do funky life making magic on a desolate planet isn’t going to end well if you mess up

The organization that hires and trains mech pilots is an offshoot of a special organization that has been guarding the planet since before the era of Optimus. Postwar, most of this org consists of Autobots with Optimus himself at the helm.

[sleepyowlwrites]

FTWT CCCLX

Every time I did this on my phone I regret it. But I'm all cozy by the fire and I don't want to get up and go get my laptop. So here we are. Words from my dearest Timespace - oh my darling, I've missed you. I'll send you a letter soon, okay? - @spacetimewraithwrites

All from city story d0

Clear

Rune makes a very obvious note of his presence but doesn’t say anything, and just sticks the object in her hand between her lips.

Jet raises his eyebrows, confused when clear smoke is exhaled through her nostrils. 

“It’s a personal diffuser,” Rune explains without prompting. “Helps me calm down.”

“Was Shadow riling you up? He’s in a bad mood today.” Jet takes his place beside her and leans back, staring at nothing across the street. 

Close

The day is terrible. It’s especially humid and Jet kind of wants to pull his skin off or swim across the street instead of walking. It’s making his temper sour and Moss has banished him from the garage to work off whatever is on his mind elsewhere. Generally, when he gets like this, Moss keeps him close, teaches him new self-defense or combat techniques, or makes him clean something, just so he knows that Jet isn’t going off and getting into fights.

But Shadow had returned from class with a storm in his eyes that he refused to talk about, and Jet hadn’t been helping the atmosphere, so Moss cut him loose instead of Shadow. Of the two of them, at least Jet can take care of himself on the streets. Shadow is scrappy, but lacks motivation. He’ll throw a single punch and then just get beaten up.

Call

He blinks. “You remember my name?”

She lets out the softest laugh. “I’m very good with names, and I heard Shadow call you that a couple of times last week when I dropped by.”

“I have a twin.”

“Copper doesn’t wear his shoulders the same way you do.” The phrasing is peculiar but Jet knows exactly what she means.

Crowd

He isn’t surprised that he picks Cam out from a crowd in a second. The guy’s face is branded onto his brain after their first and only encounter. Jet needs to be aware and able to defend Rune from the right people. He’ll fight anyone, really, but this is a face he’d really like to bruise.

It seems that Cam recognizes him as well, but the dumbass doesn’t recognize a predatory face when he sees one, because he actually detaches from his group of friends and comes over closer to Jet with just the most punchable expression.

Check (continuing directly from above)

“I shouldn’t be talking to you,” is what Cam leads with.

Jet agrees. “You shouldn’t. I’m very ready to just punch your lights out.”

Cam nods, unafraid, apparently. “My friends would just hurt you back. They’re all very good at it. Listen, I have a word of warning that you should pass on to Cloud. Max wants to see her, and if she won’t meet him, he’ll meet her. Soon. And she knows what happens if she doesn’t do what he says.”

Jet really, really wants to clock him. Those are a lot of extra opponents, though, and he reins himself in. He needs to have the strength to check on Rune tonight. “If you or your brother even think about hurting Rune, I will do much worse to you.”

Cross

On the one hand, it’s generous of his brother to put so much effort in reinstating their former bond, and from Jet’s fragmented childhood memories, very accurate to character. On the other hand, the further Copper delves into reasons and motivations, the more Jet is forced to think about them.

“You don’t ever have to tell me more than you’re comfortable with,” Copper reiterates. He’s sitting cross-legged on Jet’s couch, elbows on knees, chin on closed fists.

Jet slumps to the side a little, sliding his hands down his legs. “I’m uncomfortable with telling you anything.”

Light, dry, swing, allow. Bonus: alleviate, master. @ryns-ramblings @gwens-fiction @toboldlywrite @pixelw0rds @faelanvance @oh-no-another-idea

[saltminerising]

Some clarifications

I want to start by reiterating that nothing on this blog is going to be paywalled or monetized. As you might know, I frequently ask the followers of this blog for their opinions on different ideas I have, but don't necessarily implement them.

The original idea of a Patreon was inspired by one of the mods not being able to afford groceries, and me wanting to help but also being broke. So, I spitballed an idea and trusted the followers here to think it through better than I could, as I do frequently. There was no greed or malice intended behind me seeking people's thoughts on the idea. There will be no sneaky ads, no post+, nothing like that — I’ve always tried to mold the blog to its readers. The readers don’t want it to happen, so it won’t.

This blog was created as an offshoot of @dramarising-replacement. It was not intended to replace it, just create a different vibe. There are so many different things that can be done with the dragon salt space and clearly people are interested in reading it. Anyone who is able to spend time queueing asks can do exactly this. Depending on the current drama, I might spend several ten minute chunks of time or over an hour queueing asks every day. Anyone who can do that can do exactly what I’m doing and if you’re interested, it’s worth a try. I had never moderated before I created this blog. I’m not interested in gatekeeping and I’ve given (solicited) advice to other salt blogs previously. I’ll boost you if you want.

One thing that won’t change is the spirit of the blog. Drama doesn’t have to lead to panic attacks. No drama is worth more than someone’s mental health. We don’t have to be cruel to enjoy this genre of content. As I said previously, and I’m glad to have made the ARR mods happy by linking directly to their blog, there are other spaces with different policies. This blog isn’t going to become less filtered, it’s filtered for a reason. Someone making an unfiltered blog could be cool, I would probably follow it; but that's not something I'm willing to change here.

I think it’s makes sense to not trust me/us to not be lying about the monetization or the fact that the idea came from one of us struggling to afford food, we’re anonymous salt blog admins, there’s no reason to believe it; but know that the spirit of this blog isn’t going to change, this blog will be people over salt every time. It’s okay if you think it’s a nepotism thing, when you want something deleted I’ll delete it for you too.

I appreciate all the feedback, even the person who said it’s parasocial for people to say they like how we moderate lol. I had fun figuring out how ARR works today. I hope everyone has a nice night.

Saltmin