#i want to take stupid little pottery and cooking classes

[morganbritton132]

I love that Eddie is a craft guy! It just makes so much sense. Do you think he's one of those people who is CONSTANTLY doing a new craft and their house is just littered with Eddie's crafts, and he's always making little hand made gifts for Steve, the party and the band? I can totally imagine Steve coming home and the house just being in total disarray and Eddie's just like "I made a bird table and i personalised all your coffee cups :))"

Eddie Munson and the ADHD urge to start a new project before you finished the last one.

Despite Eddie’s big personality and the joy he gets galivanting across cafeteria tables and award show stages, he is very much a homebody. His favorite places growing up was his bedroom, Gareth’s garage, and the drama room where he hosted D&D. Then he went on tour and when the shows were over, he just wanted to be home.

He liked being able to strip away the Eddie Munson persona, sit down, and channel all the ideas in his head into a creative output.

Honestly, making money just made it worse. He can afford shit now.

Steve’s the opposite though.

Steve likes to be out of the house. He was a kid that lived in a big house with parents that never wanted to see or hear him, sometimes year-round sports were the only thing keeping him sane. Once Eddie made it big and was touring, Steve was once again alone in a big empty house and so he found things to do.

He meets up with Robin at least once a week to get dinner and drinks, and sometimes they go dancing or they sing karaoke. Him and Dustin meet up semi-regularly to catch up. He was a part of their neighborhood walking group before Diane annoyed him out of it. He goes bowling with some teachers from work occasionally and takes a pottery class that he sucks at. Him and Max are a part of a trivia team that has only ever succeeded at being the drunkest team in the game.

So, the combination of ‘Steve is 90% of my impulse control and he’s not here right now’ and ‘If I don’t create something, I will die’ means that sometimes Steve comes home to a new windchime or a questionably made bird house.

 Sometimes he comes home to Eddie embroidering one of his jackets by hand even though he bought an embroidery machine that he has never used. Other times, he comes home and Eddie has carved every bar of soap they had into a little fucked-up guy or he found a recorder and wants to play Steve a song.

Or sometimes, Steve returns home from the cooking class he’s taking at their local community center to beads. Beads everywhere.

Beads in the carpet. Beads on the hardwood. Beads in their shoes by the stairs. Beads everywhere.

Steve – who is pretty Type-A about their house being clean and organized because he has a shit memory and needs to be able to find things – very calmly sits aside the ravioli that he made and says, “Eddie, what the fuck?”

“I dropped them.”

Steve makes a gesture like ‘yeah, no shit’ and then just makes a distressed noise, but Eddie waves him off as he dumps a handful of beads into the good punch bowl that they use for parties, “Don’t blame me. Your cat tripped me. I nearly brained myself.”

“She’s only my cat when she’s bad,” Steve sighs, sitting down to help pick the beads up. “Why do you have beads anyways? Since when do we have beads?”

“Do you remember those beaded lizard keychains?” Eddie asks, and then when all he got was silence. “I’m going to make you one…after we pick up two thousand pony beads.”

Steve makes another noise that’s somewhere between ‘you’re causing me actual pain’ and ‘I love you so much it makes me stupid’ and Eddie grins at him. He gestures to the punch bowl and says, “Stevie, think about it. Once we fill this bad boy up, we can separate the beads by color. That’ll be fun, right?”

“…Yeah, I’d actually really like that.”

[trainwreckweather]

I want to experience life SO BADLY

[lokislastlove]

Best Laid Plans (Fluffy Bucky x Reader) p3

Summary: Bucky is determined to woo you properly, no matter how rusty he is at dating these days.

Warnings: Some smut at the end, oral (fr), Bucky has bad luck, but we love him anyway. 18+ only please.

This is my first attempt at Fluff, it is not my strength, to say the least, so by all means ignore this. @saiyanprincessswanie I wrote this for you, I hope you like it and with any luck maybe it brings a tiny smile to your face when you need it. 💕 Also remember this is fiction, I know Bucky’s arm is fancy as hell and has no flaws.

Chapter 3 -

🌹 The Third Date 🌹

The office is abuzz with rumors of your new romance. For obvious reasons Pepper never shuns coworkers dating, but does caution that she expects everyone to remain professional regardless of the outcome. Bucky is one of the most sought after bachelors in the building so naturally people notice when he fixes his attention on you. For the two days following your fruit-filled frolic in the hills Bucky is constantly around. He brings you coffee, flowers by the dozen every day, saves you a seat during the meetings, cooks you lunch and even brings Kal in to see you.

“Okay, I can’t wait any longer. You willing to give me that second chance, tomorrow?” Bucky bursts into your office an hour before you leave Friday evening.

You gasp as the door slams against the wall and he cringes, “uh, sure. I’m free tomorrow. Should I just go ahead and wear my yoga pants?”

“Ha ha. Very funny. And no. I let Steve pick the date idea this time. Just don’t wear anything that you don’t want getting a little dirty,” he winks.

You let out a sigh, “wouldn’t it be easier to just tell me what we’re doing?”

“That’s no fun, Angel.”

——

The next morning you wake up to a text from Bucky, just like you have every morning since your first date.

Good Morning, Beautiful! Can’t wait to see you today. I’ll pick you up at 11am. 😀

Bucky has managed to make waking up a highlight of your day, something you never thought possible. Plus you got him to start using emojis, which Steve claims he will never forgive you for.

You choose some dark wash jeans and a V-neck t-shirt with a jacket and boots. Stylish but casual, you feel good, excited to find out what adventure Bucky will be dragging you into this time.

Your phone dings as you race out the front door and gulp when you see the bike again. God he looks good with it though, his light brown leather jacket highlights his olive skin and his dimpled smile has you swooning as you reach him. Determined to get a hang of this motorcycle thing you jump on back and cling to Bucky with a bit more confidence today.

Bucky reigns in his speed this time, and you find yourself enjoying the rush of the wind on your face and the warmth of him in your arms. To your shock Bucky leads you to a ceramic shop not far from Avengers tower, specifically for couples pottery class.

“Steve assures me that this is supposed to be fun and romantic,” Bucky says as you find yourself sitting next to him on a dirty stool with a spinning round table in front of you.

“Steve hasn’t been watching old romance movies again, has he?”

Bucky squints at you, “Actually, yeah but he said it had ghosts in it, and I got enough of those.”

You grab his hand and give it a squeeze before taking a deep breath, “Ok, let’s do this!”

It takes about a minute to realize what a terrible idea this is as Bucky curses under his breath and his arm starts making strange whirling noises.

“Oh shit, uh is clay good for your arm?” You ask, nodding at the way the plates of his metal arm seems to twitch and groan as the wet clay slide and congeal between them as they shift.

“Fuck,” Bucky curses as he shakes out his metal arm and you grimace at the worrisome noise it makes before it stops moving all together.

“Do you want to take it off?” you offer.

Bucky looks frustrated with a hint of panic as he sits there contemplating the best move. He still isn’t very comfortable going without his arm in public.

“Or we could just decide not to take Steve’s dating advice anymore and go back to the tower and get cleaned up?” You laugh and bump him with your elbow.

He scoffs out a laugh, “yeah. You know I used to be the one that was good at this stuff, I was the charming one who helped get Steve a date.”

“Oh is that so? Well I think you’re doing better than you think you are,” you smirk.

“Yeah?” He asks hopefully.

“Yeah, now come on Casanova,” you stand and wipe your hands on the towel nearby.

You can’t help but laugh as you follow him out the door, looking at the light gleam off the metal that isn’t covered in clay.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just… gonna be hard to convince me you’re not a complete mess after this one.”

——

You could tell Bucky’s confidence had taken a major hit, well three major hits to be honest. And while he constantly berated himself for everything that went wrong, you couldn’t help but love him even more with each blunder. And when he doesn’t insist you give him another shot after that disastrous pottery date, you seek out Steve’s advice.

“Do you think I should try to make a move? Ask him on a date maybe? Or is that insulting to … men from your era,” you finish awkwardly.

Steve laughs softly, “I think Bucky could use a sign that you aren’t willing to give up yet. You should give it a shot, as long as it’s what you want and not just out of pity.”

“Of course it’s not out of pity, you really think I’d do that?” you ask, trying not to get too offended.

“No, doll, of course I don’t. But that’s likely what he’s going to think.” He placates and gives you a knowing look before walking out of your office.

You push back your shoulders and pull out your phone to text Bucky.

Hey if you’re free tonight you should come over to my place. Maybe around 8pm? No dress code. 😘

🌹 The Fourth Date 🌹

Bucky arrives at 7:50pm that evening and you push the buzzer to let him in. You leave the door cracked for him and finish the final touches.

“Angel?” He calls as he knocks and you hear the door creak open. “Uh, hello?” His voice falters as he closes the door behind him and takes in the candles neatly arranged along a path of rose petals.

You hear him remove his heavy boots and call your name as he follows the path further into your apartment and closer to where you’re waiting for him. You shift nervously on your feet as you wait with baited breath for him to appear around the corner.

“Angel, what’s going..” His voice gets caught in his throat as he stands in your doorway and sees you waiting for him.

You’re wearing a simple nightgown, a silky robe and stockings. The thin straps and sleek material drape softly over your curves, enticing enough to make him pause but not overly revealing to be considered scandalous. You didn’t want to be too bold and scare him off too fast, or make yourself appear too desperate.

“Hi, Bucky,” you smile as you watch his pupils dilate and his chest strain against his shirt as his breathing gets heavier.

He clears his throat and his cheeks glow pink as his eyes flick up to meet yours, “uh hey, Angel. Am I dreaming?”

You laugh as you take a few steps toward him and he mirrors you, “I just thought that maybe I’d surprise you with a date, this time. If you’re up for it.”

“Well, I will admit that my interest is quite peaked already.” He jokes, his eyes roving down your body once more as he gently takes your hands and holds them out to get a better look at you.

You giggle and rolls your eyes, “Nothing crazy, just a simple movie date, and I have the perfect set up. Follow me.”

You pull him over to your bedroom window and climb out onto the fire escape, he follows closely, his curiosity climbing with each creaky step.

“You sure this is safe?” He asks as the stairs rattle under his weight.

“No,” you say simply as you reach the top, “but it’s worth it.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he takes in the rooftop space that you’ve meticulously decorated for him. Strings of lights hang on the low rooftop walls. A large air mattress is tucked between the pipes and vents, facing a large projector screen. You made sure to add mountains of fluffy pillows and soft blankets to keep you cozy under the stars.

“This is amazing,” he mutters as he eyes the plate of snacks and bottle of wine waiting on the bed.

“I know, isn’t the view amazing? I’ve always loved it up here, but I didn’t know it had this much potential until now,” you remark as you look out onto the glimmering view of the city skyline.

Bucky’s fingers slip between yours and curl sweetly as he guides you over to the soft bed. He flops down and settles in before opening his arm for you to join him. You grab the remote and the wine and curl up next to him. Drawing up your legs and letting them rest against his muscular thigh.

“I don’t deserve all this,” he utters sadly as he watches you pour the wine.

“Steve said you’d say something stupid like that,” you laugh as he looks stunned for a moment. “So let me just settle this right now.” You take deep breath and let it out with a quiet huff.

“I have been the happiest I’ve ever been since you asked me out on that first date. I look forward to waking up every morning knowing I’ll get to see you and possibly, maybe, do more than just ogle you from afar. Oh don’t look at me like that!” You laugh and smack Bucky’s shoulder when he smirks at you and wiggles his brow.

“I know you think you blew it after our first three dates but all I remember is seeing a passionate man willing to chase down a dog through the mud, even if it meant embarrassing himself. I remember you saving me from a potentially fatal injury, and I remember a man so desperate to impress me that he took advice from Steve Rogers,” you bite your lip as you watch Bucky choke out a laugh at your jab at his best friend.

“You may think all of these moments are flaws, but honestly I wouldn’t want to change a single thing. So let’s just –” Your speech is cut off when Bucky’s hands are suddenly on the side of your face and pull you in for a blazing kiss.

It’s as though you’ve unlocked something in him as he devours you, his tongue trailing across your lip and delving into your mouth when you open for him. You moan as his hands slip down to your neck, his thumbs pressing ever so slightly on your pressure points before he pulls away just enough to kiss and nibble along your jaw. The pleasure and passion is dizzying and you feel your body bend to his will. Your hands grasp at his shirt as he nuzzles and sucks along your neck now, making his way to your clavicle.

The feather pillow braces your head as Bucky lays you down and hovers above you, his body heat warming you as the cool night breeze tickles over each spot he kisses.

“God, Angel, you have no idea how badly I want you right now. How badly I’ve wanted you for so long.” He groans against your chest, dragging his nose over the thin material between your breasts.

“Me too,” you breathe.

You push at the lapel of his jacket, trying to urge him to take it off. He sits up, fixing his eyes on you as he slowly strips off his coat and tosses it away, followed by his shirt immediately after. Your breath hitches as you let your fingers lightly glide down his stomach, feeling every ripple of firm muscle under his heated skin.

“Wow, the girls at work would be so jealous right now,” you kid.

“I’m almost offended that you think this is my best feature,” he scoffs gesturing to his stomach, his eyes glinting mischievously.

“By all means, show me more. I did come up here for a show after all,” you tease, tilting your head and biting your lip as you eye the growing bulge in his pants.

“Oh, I think I know how to keep you entertained,” he smirks and lowers himself over you, his hot breath leaving goosebumps on your skin as he dips lower down your body.

You look down as he pauses over your quivering center and lifts the hem of your dress up to reveal your lace panties. He growls lowly and hooks his finger under them, pulling them quickly to the side. You twitch as he blows lightly over your lips, the cool air hitting the slick arousal already pooling between your thighs. He chuckles as you grip the blankets tightly and he pushes his long thick tongue between your folds, circling your bud at the top. You let out a long moan as his fervor increases, the feeling of his rough tongue dipping into your dripping hole and then back up to flick over your clit is driving you closer and closer to the edge.

After the past two weeks of the most intense sexual tension you’ve ever experienced it doesn’t take much for him to have you squirming under his touch. Your toes curl and a broken scream echoes over the rooftops as you come on his hungry lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he coos as your eyes flutter open and see him hovering over your face once more.

Your jaw slackens, pupils blown as you take in his debauched state, his tousled hair, lips and beard glistening with your come. You reach up and pull him down to you, tasting yourself on his tongue. You feel his metal arm fumble with his jeans between you as he pulls out his aching cock. Your eyes flick down in curiosity and you can’t help but gasp as you gaze at his veiny, thick length.

“You see how hard you make me?” He moans, fisting the base of his leaking cock.

You bite your lip, feeling an overwhelming desire to let him use you in any way he wants. Your body arching into him and your hips rolling desperately. Your submissive side blooming under his dominant tone.

You whimper and meet his eye, “fuck me, Bucky. Please.”

Your voice is soft and timid, nothing like the typical commanding confidence you have in your daily life, and it sends a thrill through Bucky. He latches onto your thighs and pushes them up toward your chest, exposing your cunt to him and he guides himself inside, moaning freely as your walls stretch to fit him.

“I’m never letting you go. My perfect, Angel.”

[marastriker]

Rustnoose for the fandom questions please?

This is Rusty and Canoose for people that aren't familiar with the alternate fanon name

What is each member’s love language?

Rusty is very verbal and sfw physical when showing affection BV is gift giving, of course, but with some nsfw physical affection thrown in there as well

What would they describe as their perfect date?

Rusty is so not picky, he's just happy to spend time with the person he loves, but BV needs everything to be perfect or he'll feel like a failure.

Who made the first move?

Depends on universe - but, overall probably BV.

Who is more sentimental?

Rusty, he's so sappy and sweet. It's just in his nature.

Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders?

Rusty, he does not like bugs at all.

Who falls asleep first?

Rusty, sleeby boi

Who wakes up first?

BV, he doesn't sleep super long every night anyway

Who is more more relaxed/carefree?

BV, overall. He's a very go with the flow kind of guy

What’s one way their personalities compliment one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?)

Definitely more opposites attract, BV helps Rusty to be more outspoken and sure of himself and Rusty helps BV learn that it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes

Who is always cold?

BV, Rusty has his firebox. Rusty keeps him warm in the winter

Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no?

Rusty will feel bad for any stray that he sees, but has good enough sense to take them to a vet/shelter so technically neither

Who worries more?

Rusty, he is noivus

What are some non-sexual activities they do together?

Picnics or fine dining, depending on who's the focus that night (Bee also loves wine tastings) Also dancing and karaoke but Rusty loves arts and crafts so sometimes they'll do like a painting or pottery class

Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket?

BV, absolutely, 100% - the officer would be apologizing to him

Who is the better cook?

Neither of them are bad, but BV is a bit better only cause he had to take care of himself (and CB) for a while

What are some things they don’t agree on?

Ohohohoho. This is a cause of some arguments honestly, cause they both have hills they will die on. A big one is if Greaseball's gang is picking on or hurting Rusty, BV will want to fight them BUT Rusty is insistent on not fighting violence with violence and Bee is like, "well what the fuck do I do, ask them nicely to stop? That's not going to work"

Which member is more physically affectionate?

They're both pretty close, ngl....but Rusty consistently wants cuddles

Which member is more verbally affectionate?

Also very close, but I'd say Bee is usually a bit better with words

How does each member feel about PDA?

Rusty is kinda iffy about it at first, but they both are fine with it - BV secretly just wants everyone to know that he's capable of caring for someone other than himself.

Who’s the safer driver?

BV, weirdly enough. Rusty can be a bit impulsive when driving

What’s each member flirting style?

Rusty will show rather than tell, like "I saw this thing that made me think of you" whereas BV is a smoothtalker 100%

Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing?

Rusty sometimes borrows BV's clothes cause he wants to look cool but it doesn't really work for him

Who is the cuddle initiator?

They both can be, but mostly Rusty

Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Weird to answer, because Rusty leans more toward introverted and BV leans more toward extroverted. They compromise by doing both.

Who is the big/little spoon?

BV is def big spoon for Rusty 9 times out of 10.

Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

It SO depends? On what the situation is? Usually BV is pretty impulsive and Rusty has to rationalize, but sometimes Rusty can make some hasty (read: stupid) decisions too, that put the voice of reason on B.

Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes?

Both of them, actually. But they make very different jokes.

Who takes longer showers?

BV, he's gotta look good 24/7.

Who is “more loved” by the in-laws?

Rusty is always loved by the in laws no matter what but there actually aren't any in laws to love him in this universe, so. Sad.

Who is more likely to get jealous?

Rusty, because he doesn't feel like he's really all that attractive. BV looking at Carrie or Elektra in a specific way could set him off, it doesn't take much :(

What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?

BV learned that Rusty has a more wild and adventurous side, though it took a lot of time for him to really show it. Rusty learned how genuinely sweet BV can really be, ESPECIALLY when he gets Noodle.

Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

BV stays up way too late and Rusty always has to beg him to come to sleep. He wants to cuddle :(

Who’s messier?

Rusty, he doesn't necessarily mean to be though.

Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?

Rusty, but it only happened ONCE, okay?

Who wanted/would want kids first?

Probably, actually most definitely, Rusty, honestly. Rusty's always wanted kids eventually.

Who gives piggy back rides to the other?

BV would give Rusty piggy back rides occasionally, but not all the time.

Who fell in love first?

BV did, but Rusty made it a lot more obvious first. Rusty always wears his heart on his sleeve, so <3

[an-absolute-travesty]

If you write kam hcs uhh *tries to think of a reward* you’ll see sticky notes at the store at some point 👁👄👁

I’ve been putting off answering this like all week (because I don’t really ship kam hnnnnnng-) but let’s go

They both have bad dreams at night and literally nothing helps

So they always have these little sleepovers, they just stay up all night and talk and be stupid

Sometimes they try to do their hair like each other, it’s always a mess of hair gel, spray, and dye

Keefe has 50000000 nicknames for Tam, he always pretends like he hates them but really he loves it 

When they move in with each other Keefe wants a pet but Tam doesn’t.

They both compromise and now have an army of plants

Their favorites are tiny succulents and pretty, colorful, flowers

Tam is absolutely awful at cooking. Anything he makes just explodes. Or burns. It never ends up good 

Keefe is...ok. He can cook but it takes forever. Everything has to be absolutely perfect and it gets frustrating 

So a lot of times they just get the elven equivalent of take out  

Eventually Tam gets convinced of a pet 

So they get a dog

And Tam absolutely loves the thing

Theyre practically attached at the hip 

One day Keefe walks in the door and Tam is just there with their tiny lil dog sleeping on his lap

“I can’t move, do you want him to wake up?!”

They take pottery classes together 

Overall they’re just very adorable 

[comradekatara]

What’s you 70 years ideal for azula, mai and ty lee?

ANON. I HAVE LEFT THIS TO SIT FOR 20 DAYS. I AM SORRY.

here is what i have to say about azula, mai and ty lee

ty lee (copied from here, where i wrote it up separately): 

over the years of peace and relative prosperity, ty lee gets to be a lot of different people and live a lot of different lives. she has a ton of fun with the kyoshi warriors, and the friends (with benefits) she meets there stay in her life forever. the warriors have such a trusting relationship with one another. they help her feel safe after she spent a long time feeling unsafe, and she’ll always be grateful.

when that starts to get old, ty lee feels confident and ready to go back to the circus. she wants to do it before she gets too old, as she assumes she’ll start to lose some of her skills soon. but it turns out that she’s as good as she ever was; better even, because 14 is nobody’s physical peak. sometimes ty lee forgets that she’s very young, and she’s always been young. 

on her travels with the circus, sometimes she’ll meet someone who draws her interest, so she’ll stay in town for a while. her bosses rely on her so much that they would never tell her no, and as long as she catches up with them when she’s done with her detour, she has free rein to come and go as she pleases. she never takes for granted how it feels to have that kind of freedom, and she knows she’ll never again put herself in a position where her freedom is restricted.

her travels are fun, but the lone wolf thing is starting to get old, so when she’s nearing 30 she hands in her notice and sets out to find mai. they haven’t seen each other in person in years, though they’ve written letters periodically, whenever they could. the reunion is emotional. they promptly uhaul and for a long time they’re just inseparable. ty lee knows their bond is more than just the relief of being seen by someone who witnessed all the same stuff she lived through all those years ago. it’s just that it’s mai. ty lee will always love her the most. 

and suddenly ty lee is back in the old fire nation rhythms, and even though it feels weird and sometimes a little anxiety-provoking to be back, she has a handle on her nerves because she’s wiser and more capable now. so when she sees azula on a visit to the fire palace, ty lee is equipped to handle her. instead of feeling triggered and panicky, she feels empathetic. like all the rest of them, azula is still healing from the war, and she’s not as far along as ty lee is. but she’s making her way there. her aura is unrecognizable–an unmistakable sign of the work she’s already done. ty lee tells azula that the past is forgiven and she can see in azula’s aura how much that means to her. what’s even more surprising to ty lee is that it wasn’t a lie. she hasn’t lied in a while, actually, and it’s been a long time since she consciously thought of herself as someone who lied for her own benefit. she hasn’t needed to. 

the rest of her life is spent alternating between domesticity and wild adventures, usually with mai at her side. she follows her heart from place to place, and when her heart isn’t telling her to go somewhere new, she follows mai’s. when ty lee gets very old, she lives a life a lot like king bumi’s - always seeking thrills and never holding herself back. true to her word, she never takes her freedom for granted, and she maximizes every moment.

mai: 

after the war, mai gets the fuck out of the fire nation. she basically french exits the whole country. she’s a little bitter that ty lee up and joined the kyoshi warriors without a word to her, and so she decides she’ll show ty lee the same kindness and leave with no warning. 

the time alone is really good for her. it’s been a hard half a year, surrounded by azula and ty lee and zuko all the time. all that time she thought traveling was exhausting. but traveling the world when there’s no one watching her and telling her what to do, and no immediate danger from people who want her dead… it’s actually not tiring at all. it’s freeing.

she charters a boat and teaches herself how to use it. she audits a class at a university in the earth kingdom and remembers how much she loves studying. she meets toph, quite randomly, and spends a few nights just hiking with her and discovering all the things they have in common. she visits a tiny town with a world-famous orchestra and whimsically learns to play an instrument. she visits one of the air temples and just breaks down under the weight of the silence. the independence is refreshing and allows her to think long and hard about what she deserves from the people around her, and from herself.

so she returns to the fire nation with plans to live well. she’s going get a degree, she’s going to find something she loves to do, and she’s going to get some closure on the relationships she left hanging. she is owed some serious apologies and she intends to hear them out. 

she’s almost surprised when both azula and zuko give her the apologies she deserves. she doesn’t get apologies from her parents, but she wasn’t expecting that. she won’t be communicating with them more than she has to anymore–though she is newly resolved to give tom-tom some better role models than the two he was born with. and then she enrolls in school and starts learning again and she just feels better. more in control of herself and more purposeful. that’s the mindset she’s in when she sees ty lee again. 

mai realized in her travels that she owes it to herself to be not just forgiving, but also flexible. and she quickly remembers how much being with ty lee makes her happy. mai gets her degree, and then some more degrees, and after that, they chase happiness together. they go to see a lot of different places and make a lot of friends. (it’s almost weird to see toph again when she���s in such a different mindset than she was in her earlier travels, but the rapport they had is still just as sparkling.) they become happily domestic wherever they go, always planting a garden and cooking favorite recipes and collecting really weird art to hang on the walls. mai always has a project to work on and she follows her passion every day. she feels fulfilled.

azula: 

ooh boy. how much time do you have? 

azula recovers slowly, with the help of a village. 

after the agni kai, she’s kept locked up in accommodations that she knows zuko hand-selected to give her as much comfort as possible. but she doesn’t feel comfortable. she feels gutted. she believes with all her heart that it would have been more honorable to die.

for a long time, she wallows. it doesn’t help that she has barely anyone to talk to. zuko visits infrequently but he never knows what to say, and azula refuses to start talking about the weather or the clothes he’s wearing just to make him feel at ease. but then - she’ll never know why - he starts sending other people to keep her occupied. a series of teachers to teach her languages, advanced calculus, parts of world history she never bothered to learn. a pai sho master to play with her. a pottery maker to give her a lesson (okay, that one’s a bust, because azula finds it simply too funny to even bother to feign interest). the visitors are always heavily guarded, but azula doesn’t have the strength to fight them anyway. she’s so starved for companionship that she applies everything she has to learning as much as she can from them. 

eventually, someone else starts showing up too: zuko’s tiny blind friend whose name azula never bothered to remember. she has to be told once more before she learns it. toph. 

azula loves it when toph visits because toph takes her outside. sometimes toph will talk on and on about some stupid adventure she went on with her friends, and sometimes she’ll just be quiet and let azula experience the crisp morning air. usually whatever toph intuitively decides to say or not say is the right fit for azula’s mood. and while at first azula is simply too humiliated and angry to engage, over time, she starts speaking back. having a conversation. she was desperately lonely before toph showed up. toph is witty and engaging and tells a great story. she also won’t let azula have the last word, ever. it’s refreshing and exhilirating to have a conversation with someone like that. 

when toph tells a story about her lonely and repressive childhood, azula is surprised to find herself compelled to commiserate. of course much later she’ll realize that that’s exactly what toph wanted her to do. but that’s how it starts, and before long, azula spends a fair amount of toph’s visits talking about herself and how she feels, or felt at different times in her life. toph is gentle and understanding, but doesn’t coddle her. now that the floodgates are open and azula can talk freely, she finds that a lot of her anger about the past is fading. toph can sense it too.

that’s how azula is gradually restored to full privileges in the fire nation. she has a lot of apologies to make, and with great difficulty, she makes them. she expresses her great regret to mai and ty lee and suki gives them all the space they need. over a very long time, she comes to build relationships with katara and aang too, and she learns that she admires both of them greatly. she discovers that she absolutely adores sokka, and over time, she and toph and sokka become a little friend group. (it turns out that friend groups where everyone has equal say are, in their own way, quite pleasant.) she works hard on restoring her relationship with zuko, and after a great deal of trial and error, she is even able to offer him counsel that he sincerely appreciates. 

forming these bonds and maintaining them is hard work. learning to value herself for matters outside of her prodigious bending is harder. but azula finds other talents and dedicates herself to developing them. she reads constantly. she develops a habit of taking in feral cats and nursing them to health, much as this horrifies her servants. she learns how to build things with her hands. she plays pai sho with her friends. she engages in debates. 

when zuko is sure she can be trusted, he takes her to learn proper firebending from the dragons. it rocks her worldview to learn that fire can be something other than oppressive discipline and hate. it can be beautiful. after all the change she’s gone through, she values herself more than she values the strength of the flames she can produce, and she reserves firebending for the moments when she knows she can fully appreciate its beauty. 

she sees the world and comes to develop great respect and love for the cultures that she always thought the fire nation was meant to punish and reform. she helps zuko and aang develop a curriculum for the fire nation schools that will honor that. she also appoints herself in charge of raising funds from the nobility to support the decolonization efforts, and her commanding presence and natural way with words help her to extract unprecedented amounts of money from the notoriously stingy nobility. 

by the end of her life, azula has a lot to be proud of, and a lot of people who love her. she regrets the things she did when she was young, but she also has a great deal of respect for the person she’s grown into, and she appreciates that she got to become this person. she never takes a thing for granted. every time she feels relaxed or at ease, which is a surprising portion of her life these days, she really appreciates it.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Beloved Son and Friend

TW: Angst; character death

There are only two eulogies, which seems strange to M’gann. 

She should be up there, she thinks. And Barry. Kaldur and Roy…well…Will, now, she supposes. 

And Artemis. 

Especially Artemis. 

They should all be up there, talking about how kind-hearted and silly Wally was. How stupid he could be sometimes; how brave and impulsive and weird and overly-flirty and brilliant and loud-mouthed and crazy and and and all of the things that make - made - Wally West, Wally West. 

There should be a line out the door of people waiting to talk about him.

But they’ve all lost their voices. Every one of them but Dick and Wally’s aunt Iris.

Iris had only gotten part of the way through hers, before going quiet, asking to be excused and stepping away from the burial site. 

Dick powers through, hands shaking around the scrap of paper in his hand, talking about what kind of best friend Wally was, and what kind of hero; what kind of man he was. 

Weren’t they only just kids yesterday? Wasn’t it two hours ago that she was burning cookies in the team kitchen and Wally was eating them anyways? 

Now she’s sitting between Conner, who won’t even look at her much less touch her and Kaldur, whose eyes and mind are somewhere else. Possibly with Tula, remembering her funeral. 

They’ve buried quite a few heroes. M’gann never thought it would be one of their original team. 

She stands when it’s over; and watches as Jade and Roy do their best to convince Artemis to come with them. She stands stone-still, staring at the grave; at the empty coffin, and at the headstone, with its factual markings.

                                 Wallace Rudolph West

                               Beloved Son and Friend 

                   November 11th 1995 - March 16th 2016

“…Not even buried here,” Jade’s voice drifts back. “Staying here is pointless, there’s no body.” 

“Jade,” Roy says gently, worriedly. 

M’gann reaches out, opening up a link. “Artemis.” 

“Don’t,” Artemis cuts her off. “Just don’t.” 

M’gann closes it, and turns, finding Kaldur waiting for her, a hand outstretched to take hers. 

She grips it tightly and follows him to the car.

***** 

When they pull up to the West’s home, M’gann stares at it. She doesn’t need her psychic abilities to know that the entire house is a powder keg. 

Rudy West had looked deeply angry at the funeral, standing in front, gripping his wife’s hand, and Mary hadn’t looked much better. 

It doesn’t take a genius to know who they blame for Wally’s death.

They blame everyone, themselves included. 

Barry and Iris had looked destroyed at the funeral. M’gann knows from late nights spent lying on couches with her team, talking about life, that as his powers progressed and he spent more time as a hero and less as a normal kid, Wally had fallen out with his parents in a lot of ways; that Barry and Iris were much more accepting and loving; understood him better. 

Barry blames no one but himself, that much is clear, and Iris…

Iris is just sad. 

They’re all just sad. 

“Where’s Dick?” M’gann asks as she and Kaldur get out of the car. “Where’s Conner?” 

“Conner left,” Kaldur tells her. “He does not feel comfortable attempting to grieve in an open space such as a wake. He promised to call later. Dick…I do not know. I suspect he needs a few moments to himself. He will seek us out when he’s ready.” 

When they step into the house, M’gann immediately takes a step back. 

Because Rudy West is yelling in the kitchen. 

“-YOUR FAULT!” 

“Don’t you think I know that?” Barry’s voice snaps sharply, sadly. 

“Hey, no, Wally was an adult,” Iris snaps. “He made a choice, and he- he died a hero. This isn’t anybody’s-” 

“If it weren’t for his damn fool example, Wally never would have recreated that accident,” Mary snarls. “He was following Barry’s example!” 

“Wally was special!” Barry cries. “He didn’t want your life, Mary! He didn’t want to go to school and then go to work and then go home and watch TV and do nothing, he wanted more! And he was gonna get it any way he knew how, whether I was in the picture or not.” 

“We all need to calm down.” It’s Joan Garrick’s voice says. “Why don’t we all sit down and-” 

“Don’t play innocent here,” Rudy rumbles. “You and your husband encouraged him!” 

“Of course we did, Rudy, he was a good kid, and he wanted to do good,” Jay Garrick answers. “You can’t squash the kind of spirit he had because even if you tried, he’d do whatever he wanted anyways.” 

“Can we please just stop?” 

Artemis’ voice. 

M’gann moves toward the kitchen, but Kaldur stops her, gripping her hand. 

“Don’t,” he says over the psychic channel. 

“And you,” Mary says, obviously turning on Artemis. “Wally was retired, until you-” 

“Mary,” Artemis’ voice is soft, but dangerous. It’s a tone M’gann has never heard before. “You do not want to start in with me. Not now. Not about him.” 

“Artemis is right,” Iris says gently. “We’re all hurting. We all miss him. Fighting won’t bring him back or undo what was done.” 

“You’re the fastest man on earth, Allen,” Rudy says. “You’re supposed to be a superhero; part of the Justice League. And you let our son die. I will never, ever forgive you.” 

It’s only a moment later that Artemis rushes from the kitchen, rushing past M’gann and Kaldur like she doesn’t see them. She shoves Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Hal Jordan and Oliver Queen out of her way as well, as they step into the house. 

“Artemis-” Oliver starts, moving to follow her. 

“Let her have a moment,” Bruce says. 

“Have you seen Dick?” M’gann asks. 

“He and…uh…Will…are in the backyard,” Clark tells her. “You should go check on them.” 

***** 

When they find them, Dick is sitting on the fence, and his hands are still shaking the way that they shook at the funeral. 

“I think I’m gonna take some leave,” Dick blurts out when they get closer. “Y;know. Maybe…uh…take a pottery class or something.” 

“Don’t listen to him,” Will tells them. “He’s not allowed to make decisions right now.” 

“Maybe I’ll learn a new language, or backpack through Europe,” Dick keeps going. “Or climb a very big mountain.” 

M’gann steps forward, wrapping Dick up in her arms tightly. “It’s okay, Dick.” 

“Cooking classes,” he says into her shoulder. “Or Yoga. Or both.” 

“You need not do anything right now,” Kaldur assures him. “Other than be here with us.” 

***** 

It takes M’gann a while to find Artemis. She’s nowhere in the house, or in the yard, but there are woods nearby, a little hiking path and a bridge over a stream. 

It’s beautiful. It’s exactly the kind of place Wally would have loved, and would have shared with the person he loved. 

So of course Artemis knows about it. 

M’gann can almost hear that interaction. 

“Why are we here?” 

“Because it’s beautiful. And you’re beautiful.” 

“Flirt.” 

“That’s one of the many reasons you love me, Babe.” 

“Keep it up and I’ll dump you into the stream.” 

M’gann smiles sadly and steps onto the bridge, sitting next to Artemis as she looks down at the gently flowing water beneath them. 

There’s nothing to say. 

Nothing M’gann can say will make this better; will bring back the goofy, ridiculous boy they lost. 

So she reaches out, and takes Artemis’ hand, holding it as tightly as she can.

And they sit.

[thebrotherswholoved]

dreaming a festive little dream

summary: You always look back on the bad times when you're standing in front of everything you've always wanted. Perhaps Santa brought him that astronomy book he wanted as a kid, or maybe his gift already arrived and he'll be reminded of how lucky he truly is.

content: dadchesters, parent!wincest, family bonding, only fluff/a bit of saddening nostalgia I guess, kiddos causing trouble, domestic bants

read on Ao3

Sam would be lying if he said he'd always adored Christmas.

 For the longest time, it was the complete opposite. He abhorred the holiday and those stupid ornaments, tacky trees, and annoying carolers that would come to the motel door every year without fail, even though they never spent any two Christmases in the same place. Class parties were upsetting and made seven-year-old Sam run to the bathroom with tears rolling down his pudgy little cheeks at the sight of all the parents surprising their children at school. The teachers would forget about him and continue pouring green and red Kool Aid into cheap Dixie cups while he plucked at the strings of his short-sleeve, too-thin-for-winter shirt in a dingy restroom to make the tears stop. In fact, the only reason he'd return to class at all is because those candy apples, mince pies, and dollar store chocolates would make up the only meal he'd had in two days. Dean would try to feed him at the room after school but he'd say that he had lunch there so his older brother would feed himself at last in lieu of sacrificing yet another meal for his chubby little sibling.

 Sam would ignore the rumbling in his stomach when he woke up on Christmas Day to find stolen presents under the dining table and an air freshener tree taped to the side before rushing to hug and kiss Dean's eleven-year-old cheeks and watching as he tried to hide his frost-nipped fingers from view, which happened without a doubt the night prior when he stole gifts from the neighbors. He wasn't as oblivious as Dean had hoped, after all.

 John would call them for four and a half minutes tops and tell them to clean the guns and pack their things to leave in a few hours when he'd return, but not after a trip to a dive bar decked out with tinsel and Nat King Cole playing on the radio, which would be the only thing to remind him that he missed another Christmas with his sons—not that he cared. The blood of some ghoul or monster would stain his hands when he handed over a twenty dollar bill to pay off his tab, which is twice as much money that he gave to his boys for a few days. He beat the monster and to him, that's all that mattered.

Twenty-eight-year-old Sam Winchester wakes up with a start from his nightmare and shudders at the lingering feeling of cold numbness in his nose from the blizzard his mind had flung him into for the night. He sits up and expects the familiar chilly air and lack of insulation in another podunk motel room and to feel the abrasiveness of scratchy ninety-nine cent sheets on a Dateline oh-god-I-hope-that's-paint mattress, but finds nothing of the sort. Thirty dollar flannel sheets layer over him and shield him from the thermostat-regulated seventy-six degree room, which is painted a nice grey instead of the peeling wallpaper he saw in his dream.

 The clock on his bedside table reads just before ten o'clock, a time which is verified by the gentle sweeping of sunshine bleeding into the room through the curtains. The room is splashed a golden yellow by the rays of light and this bright intrusion prompts him to stand up onto his feet and begin walking through his house. His dream created a film inside his mind and he feels foreign in this beautiful home—no empty beer bottles or pizza boxes, no flickering lights or broken taps, no neighbors going at it like animals in heat or pipes squeaking under the pressure of water coursing through their copper interiors. The chair rail is painted white and matches the molding strips; there are pictures framed on the walls of children—their children—taken professionally for birthdays and Christmases and anniversaries; and there’s a clanging sound coming from what’s presumably the kitchen given the open layout, followed by a gruff voice laughing and shushing the source of the sound.

 Sam looks down at what he’s wearing and it all starts coming back to him: his red and white striped pyjamas were pointed out to him as a joke by Dean in a Pottery Barn catalogue but were bought anyway, the smell of pine needles and spice are coming from the tree in the corner of the living room, and the noises are indeed resonating from the kitchen. Something is dropped onto the floor with a bang which makes him jump, and he concludes that it’s not just him who’s startled by the sound of the shrill screech and gruff ejaculation that follows.

 “Son of a—a gun!” Dean places a hand on his chest and catches his breath after the scare. He then looks at his and Sam’s children with an incredulous glare. “Which of you little monsters just took twenty years off my life?”

 Sam leans against the entryway wall and watches as their oldest, Caden, smiles with maniacal eyes and raises his hand, making his Dad roll his eyes.

 “Of course!” He swings the four-year-old into his arms as they both laugh, Caden letting out helpless giggles as Dean tickles him. “You are a little rascal.”

 His eyes then shift to his and Dean’s youngest child, Paisley, who shrieks and claps her hands when she sees him, climbing out of her chair and waddling with bowed little legs over to him. She calls for “Daddy” and he meets her in the middle of the room where he scoops her up in his arms and sees her bright green eyes light up with glee when he pokes her chubby middle. Paisley’s tiny hands grasp at Sam’s hair which prompts him to push it back behind his ears and kiss his daughter’s tiny freckled nose. Whenever he has the chance to get a good look at Caden’s and Paisley’s features, it hits him for the umpteenth time how much they resemble their fathers.

 Dean frowns when he sees his husband with their daughter, but not for the reason one may think. Caden pats his Dad’s cheeks with hands coated in powdered sugar and hoists himself onto his back to piggyback ride him and he pouts.

 “You’re supposed to be asleep, Sasquatch.”

 Sam hums when Paisley starts to bite at her little chewy bracelet they have her wear for oral stimulation, per suggestion of her pediatrician. “You guys aren’t exactly quiet, are you?”

 Caden shakes his head and lets wavy hazelnut hair fall into his eyes. “Dada’s letting us cook.”

 “We decided to make you breakfast before opening what Santa brought last night,” Dean explains and rubs his neck when their son drops down off his back.

 He claims it’s because he has “cervical spine issues” that just decided to surface at age thirty-two but he gets just as flustered and nervous around Sam as he did as a teen and as a young adult when they first started “dating.” Admitting that to his husband, however, would be like admitting to murder—murder of his masculinity, that is, which is already fragile since the season of PETA adverts began. Sam still curls the longer pieces of his hair around his fingers whenever he finds himself more vulnerable than usual to Dean’s cuteness and susceptible to seduction after the kids are in bed. Nothing’s changed since their first date—with the exception of a house, marriage certificate, and two kids, of course.

 “Aw,” Sam puts Paisley down on the floor and she runs as fast as her stubby, bowed legs will carry her to whatever her brother is doing in front of the TV. “I am loved after all.”

 Dean lets out a huff and snakes his arms around his husband’s waist. “We have suspiciously fluffy pancakes, some extra crispy toast, scrambled eggs with a bit too much milk, and some actually decent hot cocoa.”

 “I’ll take whatever’s edible, “ he knocks their foreheads together, “if you give me a kiss.”

 “Ugh, I guess I can comply,” Dean rolls his eyes and leans in to kiss the love of his life, sleepy eyes fluttering shut in the safety of each other’s arms and in the security of the life they’ve built together.

 Sam pulls back with some blue frosting on his nose and gives his brother a questioning eyebrow raise. He exhales with a soft laugh in reply. “We also baked cookies. Blue trees and green snowflakes like Pais wanted.”

 “You’re such a great dad, De,” he rubs the other man’s shoulders with a grin. “I love you.”

 “I know. You got lucky, Sammy,” Dean kisses him again. When they part, he whispers against his lips and runs his pointer finger over his chin. “Now the kids might actually kill us if we don’t let them open their presents, so can you go distract them while I get breakfast ready?”

 Sam can’t help but laugh at his comment yet nods nonetheless. “I’ll keep you safe from our four and one year old children, I promise.”

 “You’d better!” He calls over his shoulder as he walks back into the kitchen to clean up the mess and plate the viable food. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

 “Yeah, Merry Christmas, Jerk,” Sam shouts, walking to the family room to watch the Scooby Doo Christmas special with a kid under each arm, all four of them wearing those hideous matching pyjamas.

 After all, he’s got the best gift ever already. That said, he still wants those matching flasks they saw at the store to take to the more boring little league games. Oh shit, he’s not supposed to mention that.

 Merry Christmas from the Winchester family—the most dysfunctional clan on earth.

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

[nonodino]

TWC: Detective Personality + Quirks and Interests + Dectective’s History and Relationships

!!( I went sooooo overboard )!!

Basics:

Name: Caroline Urizar

Age: 24

Height: 5′5

Ethnicity: Mexican American or Chicana

Personality: 

♥ Tries her hardest to make the best out of every situation. (Keyword:Tries) 

♥ On rare occasions,she gets super frustrated and overwhelmed (Because she bottles everything up) that she lashes out, even though she immediately regrets it.

♥ ^ Apologizes ASAP after she sorts her thoughts out, ususally out of an immense sense of guilt and wants to be held accountable for what she does. 

♥ A mother hen to her friends and mother. She wants the best for them.

♥ She’s pretty loyal to people she’s close too. Even more so if they have the same morals as her.

♥ Besides the occasional lashing out part, she’s kind of got a dog like personality. (Faithful, Selfless, family oriented, and protective). 

♥ Crybaby™ Her first response in hard situations is to cry. Also cries at the silliest of things out of joy or just because something is just so adorable. An example of this, is that she once cried at a ladybug falling off of a leaf onto the sidewalk and helped it back up. Tina probably laughed. 

♥ Try hard optimist, but sometimes reality slaps her in the face. She usually responds by isolating herself for a bit and cries it out. Then comes back with renewed hope. (It’s a pretty weird cycle)

♥ Since she’s seen as the ‘mom friend’, she doesn’t like to bother others with her problems. She prefers to work them out herself, if she can’t, she’ll pretend that she’s stronger than she is and continues forward. Ususally trying to bury it deep in her mind. Not very healthy, but that’s her.

♥ Most of her issues are with her own image. The biggest being her self esteem. She’s pretty self destructive, but if it comes to someone else, she’ll put all her effort into reassuring them and helping them however she can. 

♥ She’s not the brightest. She tries really hard to be her best self, but dear god sometimes she’s really dense. Border line slow. But she eventually catches on! (I’m sure some of the department questions how she was made detective and it came as a surprise to her too). 

♥ She blows her own mind which is a hoot to watch. She was amazed at the thought of how your heart has to beat constantly to run blood through your veins. It might be really stupid to others, but from this she comes to appriciate things more.

♥ Compassionate. Often makes the mistake of trusting or believing the wrong people. 

♥ She’s worked very hard on refining her People skills (a trait inherited from her mother) and tends to be very talkative. 

♥ She tends to be cautious as a detective. (Double checking areas, facts, or work. Preparing for the worst while hoping for the best when in delicate/dangerous situations.) But, let’s her guard down a bit in her personal time. 

♥ Likes to avoid confrontation and would much rather find a middle ground. Which often let’s others walk all over her until she eventually has no choice but to speak up for herself. 

♥ Patient to an extent. The extent varies with different types/ages people. 

♥ A hopeless romantic, but scared of picking the wrong guy. She’s also scared that she’ll put too much pressure on him by her ideals of love and run them off. She’s sort of clingy and would feel awful if her partner felt suffocated. 

                                 So basically, she’s trying her best!

Some Quirks + Facts:

☀️ Twirls her hair around her finger without knowing it at times

☀️ Can’t go to sleep if she thinks her feet are dirty and washes them if she feels they are. Don’t ask. 

☀️ Daydreams about cute relationship scenarios often. She also thinks of them to help her fall asleep

☀️ Has a bad habit of biting her nails

☀️ Plays late 80′s and 90′s pop aloud in her office on Pandora if she’s doing paperwork

☀️ Doodles all over sticky notes and has a stack of them on her desk near her monitor. She does this whenever she catches herself almost drawing on her paperwork. 

☀️ Chews Trident gum a lot and keeps a few packs of them in her desk. Her favorite flavors are Tropical Twist, Watermelon Twist, and Trident Layers Strawberry + Citrus

☀️ Also keeps a Burt’s Bees lip balm on her at all times in the tint Rose

☀️ Replys to Tina’s messages with reaction pictures 60% of the time

☀️ Her photo gallery is mostly screenshots of outfits, memes, and things she wants to draw later

☀️ Spends a little too much time on Instagram at home

☀️ Talks to herself (sometimes even argues with herself) 

☀️ Even though she’s half Mexican, she doesn’t know the language that well due to Rebecca’s and her father’s absence

☀️ Loses small pieces of jewelry all the time

☀️ Refuses to leave the house without concealer, mascara, and her eyebrows done

☀️ Straightens her hair almost everyday and when she doesn’t it’s in a side bun. (She has wavy hair)

☀️ Loves the winter and likes partly cloudy days the most

☀️ Uses the word ‘like’ a little too much to express herself + lots of hand gestures

☀️ Still has her childhood stuffed animals on her bed and can’t sleep without her suffed dolphin named Alfred Willy

☀️ She likes to wear a simple necklace everyday and her trademark piece of jewelry would have to be hoop earrings (Sliver or gold)

☀️ Doesn’t like to binge watch TV shows or movies unless they really catch her attention. Otherwise she only watches one or two episodes at a time. 

☀️ There’s a chance she has some of her K-pop posters in a shoe box under her bed and most definitely has some albums on her bookshelf

☀️ Actually did very well in school and graduated from high school with a 4.2 GPA 

☀️ Runs her fingers through her hair a lot, mostly when she’s got a strawberry face from receiving compliments or when someone flirts with her 

Interests:

🌸 Likes to draw, though she doesn’t get to do it as much as she’d like to

🌸 Her music taste is mostly 2010-2014 or 80′s and 90′s American pop, K-Pop, and some dashes of older Reggaeton or alternative songs. 

🌸 She likes to travel and watches blogs of people who go to countries she’d like to go one day

🌸 She makes doilies (usually when she watches TV) and gifts them to her friends and her mom

🌸 She likes to plant and has a window box garden outside her windows in her living room

🌸 Recycles and attends events to pick up litter and help sort out recyclables

🌸 Collects shells, sand dollars, and rocks that look pretty

🌸 ^ Crystals as well

🌸 Dances around her apartment often, like hairbrush microphone dancing. Far from professional. 

🌸 Shopping and trying on outfits is one of her favorite things to do. She prefers simple outfits and owns a variety of coats and jewelry. 

🌸 Does calligraphy and takes classes for it online

🌸 ^ She’d like to try pottery one day

🌸 Her favorite food joint is McDonalds 

🌸 ^ Chinese food is at the top of her favorites too

🌸 Whenever Rebecca was around, she’d cook meals for her. She’s been trying to recreate them since those times, but something always tastes off. 

🌸 She loves cats, but doesn’t have the time to take care of one

Personal/Detective’s History + Motives:

🌟 She joined the force in hopes of following in her father’s footsteps and to help protect the people of WayHaven

🌟 She loves Rebecca with all her heart and cherishes the time she spends with her

🌟 ^ Looks up to Rebecca and has always seen her as a role model. She wants to make her proud

🌟 She has a scar on her right knuckle from where she was washing dishes and accidentally broke a cup upon hearing that Rebecca wouldn’t make it to one of her birthdays.

🌟 Accepted Unit Bravo and the supernatural pretty quickly, although the thought still blows her mind

🌟 Wants to protect humans and supernatural from danger

🌟 She misses her father and often tries to recover whatever memories she can of him

🌟 As she was growing up, her bestfriend was a female grey and white cat named Michi. She died when Caroline was 19. She kept her collar and stored it away in a special place. (A wooden chest full of heartfelt memories, old sketchbooks, photo albums, and other trinkets). This loss triggered memories from her father’s funeral.

🌟 Unit Bravo might have an easier time identifying her due to an innocent heart murmur she was diagnosed with when she was 17 

🌟 Has terrible seasonal allergies

🌟 Bobby was her second boyfriend and her most serious relationship. Which ended messily due to his lack of interest in their bond. 

🌟 Tina is her best friend. She’d wouldn’t know what to do without her. 

🌟 She quickly became friends with Verda when he first arrived and shares a close companionship with him as well. 

🌟 Maintains a polite and respectful relationship with the Police Captian Sung

🌟 Tries to avoid Mayor Friedman at all costs. But when she can’t, she’s very polite. Avoids him due to the fact that he’s got an odd interest in her mother which makes her uncomfortable and a bit awkward. 

🌟 Douglas has an odd crush on her from the night she saved him outside the bar. She’s flattered, but it makes her uncomfortable as well. At least it gets him motivated for work. 

Unit Bravo Romantic Relationships:

When pursuing Adam:

💖 Totally doesn’t think he looks like a 90′s Vanilla Ice 

💖 Shy and discreet flirtation (almost like she’s scared of rejection or how he’ll react)

💖 Highly respects him as a team mate

💖 Attracted to his independance and authority

💖 Feels most safe around him

💖 Flushes involuntarily when he’s around

💖 Keeps the conversation friendly and light

💖 Tries to see his side of the argument when they disagree (which isn’t so often surprisingly)

💖 She’s very worried she’ll say something stupid around him and have to deal with the embarrassment

💖 Sweaty palms

💖 Sometimes she’ll catch herself daydreaming about him and she’ll shake her head and furiously resume work before anyone notices the blush forming. 

💖 Calm and sweet on the outside but a nervous wreck on the inside

💖 She still recalls the scent and warmth of his coat and lowkey wishes she could wear it all the time

💖 Soft thoughts 24/7 (Hugging, kissing, holding his big hand, etc.) Even her thoughts make her want to hide her face. 

💖 Sometimes doubts his interest in her because of their different personalities

When pursuing Nate:

💕 Loves his honesty and kindness

💕 Appreciates that he’s open about his interest in her and smiles at the ground often when talking to him.

💕 Still shy and stutters a lot when she flirts

💕 Nate has a big, sweet presence that she wants to wrap herself in. He probably gives the best hugs. 

💕 He’s like a Disney prince and she can’t help but imagine him as one. + 1000 other soft thoughts too 

💕 He’s a welcomed change from Bobby, who didn’t give her the attention she wanted. So she’s beyond excited that he’s into her. 

💕 Her hearts beating a mile a minute 

💕 Relates to him due to their common traits

💕 She secretly likes having to look up at him

💕 She hopes he can teach her more Spanish 

💕 Attracted to his intelligence and strong morals 

💕 Could talk to him for hours 

💕 She feels that she could learn a lot from him

💕 She gets giddy from remembering all the sweet things he’s said to her 

💕 But, she feels like someone as amazing as him shouldn’t be with someone so dense and silly 

[ticklishhpickle]

It Kills Me, Why Doesn’t It Kill You?- Part 1/4

Summary: Four months after his break up with Phil, Dan is still pathetically in love with him. Four months without any contact with Phil, and Dan sees him at PJ's party. He needs to talk to Phil. He needs to know why Phil stopped loving him.

Word count for this part: 1.8k

Warnings: none

Genre: angst 

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13170615/chapters/30124050 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He sat at the breakfast bar lazily eating his bowl of shreddies. The sound of the spoon clinking against the bowl didn't do anything to hush the quiet that had fallen over Dan's apartment for the past 3 months. Dan gave up on chewing his cereal after a few mouthfuls and decided on staring into the full cereal bowl, watching the shreddies slowly turn to mush. Was is strange that he found solace in watching once intact bits of cereal fall apart? He wanted to see something disintegrate too, to lose form the way he did.

'Who the fuck am I?'

He thought to himself after snapping out of his cereal watching session. Did he really just find satisfaction from watching processed bits of wheat and sugar turn to mush? It hit Dan that he just wanted something else to deteriorate too, the way he was at that moment in time.

The apartment still looked like theirs, he mused. DVDs they bought together when they first moved in, nerdy figurines only they liked, an apron that said 'Kiss the Cook' on it. His chest began aching a little more than it was before. The apron was a gift from Phil.

Phil snaked his arms around Dan's waist, pressing a light kiss to his neck. "Merry Christmas Dan." He said, replacing the arms around his waist with the apron.

"What are you doing Phil? You're actually such a spork!" Dan laughed and removed the blindfold Phil had so unnecessarily but endearingly made him wear for this surprise. Dan looked down at the words on the apron and immediately rolled his eyes.

" 'Kiss the cook', really Phil? That's so cheesy." He said with no trace of judgement in his voice.

"Does it really say that? What a shame, I guess I have to now!" He teased, and leaned in to place a kiss on his boyfriend's lips.

Dan chided himself, he wasn't supposed to be thinking about him anymore. It had been four months already. The dull ache in his chest that he had grown accustomed to turned into a persistent pang whenever he allowed himself to not only remember, but to reminisce of what he and Phil used to be. Dan was broken again, and Phil wasn’t here this time to fix him.  

Later that evening Dan was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook, looking for dank memes to distract him from the overwhelming pain of existence. He was not being melodramatic. As he was enjoying a particular doge-themed meme the little 'ding' noise Facebook made whenever a message was received alerted him. He knew who it would be. Before all of this Dan used to leave the house and even hang out with friends sometimes. He did joke to his viewers about never leaving the house but the truth was he had a social life up until about 4 months prior.

$e$h L0RD: hey man, hope you're ok. i know we haven't talked in a while but I was hoping you would come to a small gathering I'm hosting tomorrow night?

Dan's first thought upon seeing the message: 'I'm a funny motherfucker for making his nickname that'

His second upon actually reading and processing the information in the message:  'Is Phil gonna be there?' Without even thinking properly he sent his reply.

Spaniel Towell: Will Phil b there? :/

Dan cursed at himself straight after reading his message back. How rude could he get? And the fucking emoji at the end, what was he thinking? Maybe he should have thought first before sending it.

Spaniel Towell: Shit sorry that was rude, hi PJ I'm sorry we haven't talked in a while. I think I can make it, don't have anything on as far as I know.

Dan rubbed his sweaty hands together nervously, biting his lip as well.

$e$h L0RD: that's ok Dan

$e$h L0RD: I understand

$e$h L0RD: and yeah he is. I know it will be hard with what happened at all but please could you try and come plzzz xxxxx there will be heaps of others there you won't even have to talk to each other

But Dan did want to talk to him. So badly. And just see him and hold him and be loved by him again. He did not allow himself to hope though, he knew the most that would come out of seeing Phil would be awkward and forced small talk.

Spaniel Towell: see you tomorrow PJ.

Dan closed his laptop and sighed, walking slowly to his bedroom. He opened the cupboard door and pulled out his, no Phil’s old Muse tshirt. He lifted the shirt to his face and sniffed. It still smelt like him. Without thinking, he slipped his own plain black shirt off and pulled the Muse shirt over his head. At least he still had a piece of Phil, since he couldn’t have the real thing.

Dan knew this was pathetic, he really did, but as he cried himself to sleep wearing his ex-boyfriend’s t-shirt, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Dan whined into his boyfriend’s mouth, tangling his hands in his hair. You’d think they’d be tired from the concert they’d just got back from, but they were both properly hyped from the music and whole atmosphere of the concert.

“Do you think we’d be together if it weren’t for Muse?” Dan pulled away suddenly, blushing when he felt Phil place a kiss on his neck.

“I think we’d be together if I was a 70 year old man living in Zimbabwe.” His boyfriend replied, continuing to press kisses all over Dan’s neck.

“No, Phil! Answer properly!” He laughed while pushing the black-haired man off his neck in hopes it would make him take the question more seriously.

Phil cupped Dan’s face and looked deeply into his eyes.

“I did. What I mean is that no matter the circumstances, whether that be Muse not existing or me being an old man living in Africa, we’d be together in some way, shape or form. So in this universe, the people we are,” Phil gestured towards their bodies, “are together, but in another very similar alternate universe where Muse does not exist our souls would still find each other somehow. Does that make sense?”

Dan gulped, his eyes shining up at Phil’s. “I think so?”

Phil brought his hands down from Dan’s face and instead laced them into Dan’s own hands.

“We’re soulmates, Dan. So in every single alternate reality there is, we’d be together. I’m just glad that in this universe, Muse exists because that gave you something to tweet me about.” He pressed their foreheads together.

“I’m just happy that here, right now, I get to be with you, making out with you in my Muse t-shirt that I’ll probably regret buying later. But I know we’d be together some other way if that band didn’t exist.”

Going into the party was like walking into a life he left behind, but what he realised upon seeing Louise coming to greet him was it was also something he could return to if he really wanted.

"Dan!!! You made it! It's so good to see you."

Louise pulled him into a bone-crushing hug which Dan was pretty sure caused the rupture of at least two of his major organs. He found himself smiling, the first real one he'd had in a while. "It's good to see you too Louise. How've you been?" Louise's eyes lit up and began chatting excitedly about Darcy's latest bathroom accident that kept Louise up the whole night. As glad as Dan was that he wasn’t a parent at the moment, it was always something he’d dreamed of. But now, who was he going to share that with? His chest hurt.

Louise being Louise chatted his ear off for who knows how long before Dan finally asked the question he'd be wanting to ask since she came to greet him. "So where's Phil? I kind of want to talk to him." Louise's eyes softened and the look of excitement from discussing the shenanigans occurring in her pottery class changed to one of empathy.

"I think- I think he's upstairs, love." Dan thanked her and left to talk to the man who still had his heart after breaking it and leaving him to pick up the pieces.

Phil's hair was still easy to spot to Dan, even without seeing it for so long the image was burned into his mind. He longed to run his fingers through it like he used to when Phil loved him and to see it in a funny quiff but mostly just to talk to the owner of the hair. Dan took a deep breath and walked up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. "Hey Phil." Phil turned around slowly, looking into Dan's eyes and stupidly, stupidly making Dan fall in love with him a million more times in that second of contact.

"Hey Dan! How are you?"

For a second, Dan swore he saw Phil’s face light up with utter adoration. The same look he’d been giving Dan for the past three years. But he blinked, and the older man’s face was infected with a smile so polite, so reserved Dan felt like he was being mocked by it. It was a smile one would save for a stranger, an acquaintance or someone you disliked. Not the man you loved. A bitter taste filled his mouth.

"Pretty fucking awful, to be perfectly honest. I think you know that, though." Dan spat out.

His ex-boyfriend shifted uneasily on his feet. It gave Dan a petty sense of satisfaction that he was affecting Phil like this.

"Dan, do you really want to do this here?" Phil lowered his voice and had made sure to keep his expression neutral again, that same stupid stoic face he had when he broke up with Dan.

"Where else then, Phil? I'm not going to yell at you. All I want to know is why, why did you leave, why don’t you love me anymore?" Dan's voice cracked painfully and his eyes were wet with tears.

The silence that followed was even more painful. Phil was still as a statue, unmoving and unaffected by his words. He looked at the wall behind Dan, not meeting his eyes. He paused for  a second before speaking.

"I'm not sure I ever did." He shrugged.

Dan thought the pain of being left by Phil was the worst pain imaginable. It wasn't. The one thing he was holding onto was that at least at one point in his sad existence someone as perfect as Phil Lester had loved him, and for a long time too, even if it wasn't forever. Being told that that  was all a lie ruined any respect he held for Phil, and any hope in his heart that Phil would take him back. Dan needed to leave before he let Phil watch him break down, again.

"Good to know." His voice only wobbled a little, and he walked down the stairs without falling, and he even said goodbye to Louise and PJ collectedly. Only when he got back to his empty apartment he let himself cry.

Dan was pathetic, and Dan was a mess, but in that moment he was proud  he had restrained himself enough at the party so that no one could see him break for the millionth time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2 

A/N: lol this the angstiest piece of shit I’ve ever written, there will be a happy ending though (I promise) 

[rxpunzelwrites-blog]

what my kiddos are doing for valentine’s day!

laura tagged along with lydia and rosy for a lot of the day because she normally spends the day with lydia and felt a little lonely probably. but then she left the two of them to do their own thing and now she’s scotty’s valentine and eating donuts with him.

audrey isn’t even aware it’s valentine’s day. she was probably alarmed by the all the paper hearts in messina then eventually shrugged it off and went to work.

harper spent it with toby of course, and baked him heart shaped cookies and they probably went for lunch with their kiddies! she also baked rhodes a batch as well and kissed him all over his face and told him she loved him no less than thirty times.

reuben had to help bill pick out a valentine’s day gift from tori and suggested that he take her on a ghost tour. whether or not he took that onboard is up to jenny :’) and then reuben pulled himself to dinner and asked daisy on a second date and probably just took her somewhere nice for dinner.

mickey didn’t celebrate valentine’s day because it’s shane’s birthday which is a hundred times more important to him. he saved up his money and bought him a vintage signed photo of gregory peck.

dennis went right ahead and bought bret flowers and they weren’t crumpled this time and he says that he’s only making up for squashing them on their auction date and that he didn’t even know that it was valentine’s day but he said all this with a stupid smile on his face and probably helped with the rosy surprise even though he complained the whole way through it.

alice spent the whole day making out with jay. probably in front of quinn at some point. i am so sorry.

leon sent an anonymous card to freddie because he’s in way over his head. silly boy.

atticus kissed eeeeeeveryone on the cheek today. but finn and reggie and amelia and annie got TWO kisses. he didn’t get anyone any gifts bc he claimed that he is their gift and that they should feel blessed.

wren claimed quinn as her valentine like she usually does. she made him a card like she usually does. and she kissed him like she usually does. later on, she went birdwatching with henry and tried to ignore all the flutters in her tummy.

rosy spent her day with lydia and got the best surprise EVERRRRR. she definitely cried. and then when laura left them alone she demanded that she and lydia cuddle in bed for the whole night and then told lydia that it’s the best valentine’s day she’d ever had. also realised she’s in love with lydia but didn’t say it out loud because she wants to tell bret first and ask if he thinks she should tell her.

wilhelm literally just spent the day with ringo starr. his ankle still hurts so he couldn’t even dance, poor bb.

felix wrote little valentine’s day cards for raegan, hazel and monica and then he sent one to eddie ‘from mallory’. but yeah it’s mostly from him. felix loves valentine’s day oh my gosh.

jack sang love songs all day, i’m not joking. he probably shyly serenaded ivy as well.

justin definitely asked raegan out on a date. and then as a joke he’d pretend he’d asked colton out as well and then he’d pretend to be worried about being double booked and then insist that indy needs to come now as well so there’ an even number. it probably wasn’t even his idea because he’s too dumb for that so raegan is welcome to take the credit.

callum debated asking what scotty was doing and then decided against it and just wished kai a happy valentine’s day through the wall before ultimately just going to work and spending his night on the docks.

brody lmaaaao okay so brody bought hunter a bunch of the saddest looking daffodils in the whole entire world because that was all he could afford. and he left them at her desk and claimed that it was so he could ‘keep up appearances’ oh my god i’ve been waiting to type this all day.

riley received lots of valentine’s cards from his students and took them all home with him and pinned them on his wall after he conferred with barry just to make sure that none of them were serious love letters. he sent monty a card and said he only did so because that’s what the two of them usually do.

sutton probably went to hang out with kara and ollie fully aware that it was valentine’s day but didn’t mention it and if it was brought up he would feign ignorance like ‘oh??? it’s valentine’s day???’

let’s not talk about how greyson is doing today

elsie kept herself to herself even though she contemplated wishing tara a happy valentine’s day but decided against it. angelica probably tried to corner her for a kiss but she ran away.

wardo is the most loved up fucking goober right now. he spent the whole day kissing louis and then dancing with cecily and ivy and was even nice to ulysses. wardo was in the best mood ever today okay.

elliot cooked chicken nuggets for melody and then took her to a monster truck rally. he asked for a kiss from raegan and was probably denied it, but he definitely gave rhodes a big kiss. and he’s super worried about him after the break up.

pace and cece didn’t give each other valentine’s gifts, but pace wished everyone he came across a happy valentine’s day. he filmed a lot of people getting their gifts and even caught a proposal on camera so he’s had a good day living through other people’s happiness.

angelica gave everyone all the kisses including lizzie, bea, jess, seth, katie, carter, cassie, conrad, melody and nearly elsie. basically if you think there’s a chance that angelica would have reason to kiss your oc then she definitely did.

dean spent the day watching finding nemo with mellie and baby hadley :)

joe hooked up with someone he can’t remember the name of. very romantic.

sybil went ghost hunting as usual, possibly with byron and if anyone tried to suggest something about that she’d threaten to curse them.

ella had class but brought hazel cupcakes home for her to decorate. she probably uploaded the footage to her youtube channel.

aaron is spending the day with his girlfriend but let it be known that he text astrid saying, ‘happy valentine’s day, maine x’

harvey was working but as you can see, he’s talking to kenny which means he’s very happy about that.

nathaniel spent the day with will and jane and kissed them both and basically just tried to keep will’s spirits up.

will isn’t doing good right now and he misses alex a lot and he feels edgy and anxious but he spent time with nathaniel and jane anyway bc he knew it would make nate happy.

dixie was working but when she saw séamus in the lobby, she definitely wished him a happy valentine’s day and then spent the rest of her shift blushing about it. also her momma made a sculpture in her pottery class and ‘in the spirit’ of valentine’s, she gave it to mr croft. innocently, of course, but dixie knows better and wasted no time in telling cassie and david.

cecily spent her day playing with apollo and smiling and giggling at wardo and louis. she let wardo dance with her and she hugged ivy and after some encouragement from her brother, she got brave enough to kiss louis on the cheek and wish him a happy valentine’s day before all the excitement got a bit too much for her and she scurried off to the museum. but then she saw david and got all frazzled again :’)

levi IS GOING ON A SORT-OF DATE WITH AMELIA AND THAT’S THAT ON THAT.

dustin is making fun of all his students’ valentines. because he’s a dick.

diego probably isn’t doing a lot bc when is he ever but i like to think he enlisted caroline’s help to draw a picture of a butterfly so he could give it to cedric.

chase is getting high af and hooking up with whoever wants him. mess.

max is having the time of her fricking life and sent valentine’s to practically all of messina. she’s wearing heart themed everything today and her muse is through the roof so she’s probably planned like six new novels and she’s LIVING. and she’s asking after everyone else’s valentines and how they’re going and fangirling over all the cute things.

holly walked into a novel idea. glared at katie. left.

benji probably got another kiss of david because i say so that’s why.

jutta has no valentine but she plans to find one when she goes out clubbing tonight so really she’ll be fine.

taylor sent valentine’s to both darren and ronnie from BOTH her and james because she knew james wanted to but wasn’t brave enough, and it also helped her feel less guilty about everything that’s happened between her and the boys lately.

bennett got piss drunk then found some randomer to sleep with so he can forget about calvin and hero.

kit is in a surprisingly good mood today. simon gave her chocolates which she didn’t eat, but gave them to cody instead. then she baked cakes for daisy, simon, lo and beau. she was probably super shy about giving lo one but again, she’s in a good mood, she got over herself and did it.

simon woke up feeling sad but he still went into work and bravely wished billy a happy valentine’s day AS A FRIEND before saying the same to everyone else in a novel idea. then he went home and gave chocolate to kit and beau to be a gentleman.

evie demanded that jax be her valentine because she knew he hasn’t quite managed to work up the courage to ask ronan out and ronan remains oblivious.

oz gave out free candy to everyone and tried not to be sad when daisy told him she was going on a date with reuben so there’s that.

caroline heard that amelia and cassie were both otherwise preoccupied but decided that was okay because she woke up and tackled jason and gave him a big kiss on the cheek as well as a card that says ‘i love you to infinity and beyond’. she also bumped into gabe and pretended to not know it was valentine’s day pls just give me this.

mellie is probs very anti-valetine’s day right now. she’s avoiding che and probably pouted if indy did end up giving into justin and going out, so she watched finding nemo with dean instead.

ronan was working and being oblivious about jax and i hate him for it. he probably spent what free time he had attempting to find a date for his cousin, abel.

alfie baked all his friends a heart shaped pie and gave them all kisses even though he’s a little bi awkward around scotty rn because he’s not sure if he’s allowed to kiss his cheek anymore, but his spirits were up anyway!

emma was on set and i’m sure that drew did something charming so there’s that :’)

ellis arranged so many flower bouquets today and you can bet your goddamn ass she went to pick clara up at school and gave one to barry whether he liked it or not. she also graciously camped out in calvin’s room in order to give rory the space should he bring someone home :’) and because of that she probably bulled calvin into letting her braid his hair.

seth spent the day with all of his friend - not just katie. he gave all of his friend a valentine’s day hug - not just katie. he went out at night with all of his friends - not just katie. AND YES HE’S SURE HE STARED LONGINGLY AT /ALL/ OF HIS FRIENDS NOT JUST KATIE, THANKS VERY MUCH.

noah literally spent the whole of rehearsal belting every single iconic broadway love song at isaac just to get a reaction from him.

conrad was bullied by anya into wishing lizzie a happy valentine’s day. he’s going to be embarrassed about this for the next three months.

carter as we know was cassie’s valentine and the two of them shared alllll the candy and chocolate together. and then he met teddy and let a stranger hug him and that’s very important for him. also, he pined over jess. as per.

kevin WAS SNAKED BY CARTER FUCKING HEFFRON. he’s v displeased and pouted at katie for being the mastermind behind the whole thing.

piper probably took a selfie with hunter and sent it to brody saying that she was stealing his valentine. 

robbie spent it with blair and was appalled when jimmy showed up to ask if he could take blair out because EXCUSE ME CATTLE MAN THAT’S MY VALENTINE AND I NEED TO MAKE ALL THE MEMORIES WITH HER. so my headcanon is that he obnoxiously tagged along.

beau got cakes from kit and chocolate from simon and bought lo a big tub of marshmallows :) she’s not really up for celebrating though after her break up.

bailey sent all of her sisters gifts and then went to the stables so she could assist couples going on valentine treks together. she briefly contemplated how lonely single life can be but swiftly got over it.

adam definitely gave mack a card and a teddy literally just to piss off roy because he’s awful.

sawyer was in the ER and probably walked in on bennett and someone on the on-call room and is scarred for life. she debated going to see lux but then realised caleb might be working and decided against it.

micah spent the day at home with jd. he feels bad about not really checking on greyson but he knows he doesn’t treat jd the way he should or spend that much time with him on a good day and he wants to make that up to him on the national day of romance.

foster was working and probably received an inappropriate valentine’s from one of his students that probably left him close to tears because NO THIS IS WRONG WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE AN EASY LIFE. he probably debated shoving himself back in the janitor’s closet before ultimately deciding to hide away at lunch time and share his babybel with ryke.

jimmy decided to ask out blair for the day and then realised that meant robbie would be tagging along. he was only a little annoyed.

[pathicpoix]

50 Things To Do On A Boring Day At Home

Ever been stuck at home on one of those boring days?

Sitting around the house and not knowing what to do is not only unproductive, it’s boring. The best way to get rid of boredom is to do something you’ve been putting off or to challenge yourself to do something you have never done before. Ultimately, there are plenty of things you can do when you’re bored. They could be wacky, weird, productive, creative or just fun! Here are 50 Things Todo On A Boring Day at Home:

1. Listen to music. If you’re a music lover, it can lift up your spirits like nothing else can.

2. Watch TV. It’s good to be a couch-potato once in a while.

3. Read a newspaper. It would not only help you pass your time but also increase your awareness.

4. Build Your Own Website. Here is a Guide To Get An Optimized WordPress Site Started In Under One Hour

5. Create a new recipe. Whether you’re into cooking or not, try creating your own recipe. Experiment with different ingredients and be creative!

6. Exercise. Even if you don’t feel like exercising, doing a few jumping jacks and stretching exercises will keep you going for the rest of the day.

7. Browse and Shop Amazon Best Sellers“. You never know what cool and trendy things you can get on Amazon. 

8. Write a short story. Think of a plot, the characters and then go with the flow.

9. Groom your pet. Play, feed and spend time with him/her.

10. Read a book. If you don’t have a good one you can always Get A Book Right Now  with digital downloads. I also recommend a Kindle Reader if you don’t already have one.

11. Do the crossword puzzle in the daily newspaper. These puzzles are a good workout for the brain.

12. Have a bubble bath/aroma therapy bath. It’s a fun way to rejuvenate and relax. Best Aroma Therapy Products

13. Call and speak to your long distance friend or family.

14. Browse the web. Check your e-mail or search for information about different countries and cultures. You can also browse the Wikipedia for great information. They have a random article button.

15. Clean up your house. Remember that huge cleaning session you’ve been thinking about for months but never find the time to do?

16. Write/create your own song. Then, sing it out loud in your room.

17. Cook for your family. Prepare your or their favorite meal. They all appreciate your gesture!

18. Gather up a few friends and have a picnic in your backyard. You can also plan the ultimate barbecue!

19. Re-arrange the furniture in your room/home. If not the heavy bed or the tables, try moving the chairs, small tables etc., for a fresh look to the room.

20. Look through old family scrapbooks, yearbooks and photo books. Basically, indulge in nostalgia.

21. We often reach out for junk food when we’re bored. This time, try making something healthy to drink. Make a smoothie or a fresh, homemade fruit juice.

22. Re-organize your Facebook profile. Re-organize your files on the computer (takes a lot of time but after a while it gets fun).

23. Make a collage out of old magazines or newspaper pictures. Remember, the collage should have a theme to it, else it would look meaningless.

24. Browse YouTube.

25. Make a list of things you want to do before you die. This may also include things that you want to do within a month or six months.

26. Make a mixed CD of your favorite songs and title it “The soundtrack of my life. Include your all-time favorite songs.

27. Do your laundry. It’s tiring but you will be relieved once it’s done!

28. Treat yourself to a yummy dessert. If you can make it at home, nothing like it.

29. Do some baking. Bake a cake, some cookies or anything else that you enjoy eating and would love to share with your family/friends.

30. Learn a new language. Learning a few words every day can help a lot. Look for the best online classes.

31. Do some research on subjects that interest you. There are lots curious facts to learn about the world.

32. Paint a picture. Go crazy and paint your art out! Who knows someone may want to buy it and you can earn a few bucks too!

33. Watch stupid videos and standup comedy videos. They keep you laughing, and laughing is never wrong!

34. Create and design your personal website.

35. Re-organize your book shelf. Make sure you clean the outside of each book. This way you will spend more time in this activity and you won’t have to clean it again for a few weeks.

36. If you have a movie collection, watch an old favorite one again. Munch on your favorite snacks while enjoying the movie. Bliss!

37. Unwind at the garden. Gardening can be really rejuvenating for some.

38. Create a card for your loved one. Sounds emotional, but why not?

39. Create your own jewelry by mixing and matching. You can do the same thing with your clothes. Mix n match to create new outfits out of your current wardrobe.

40. Play the piano or other instruments.

41. Chat with friends via the internet. Chatting online is a cheap way of talking your heart out to a friend.

42. Play online games. There are a few websites that let you play for free and have some very interesting games to play.

43. Start a blog. This way you can connect with new people every day!

44. Make a list of things you need to buy at the grocery store. A list saves time, money and energy while shopping.

45. Take pictures. Make up your own little sets and work the lights in the house.

46. Create your own scrap book. Yes, it can be fun and you can flaunt it later.

47. Dance inside your room.!

48. Sit next to your window and enjoy a cup of coffee while looking outside.

49. Learn a new skill. It could be anything from pottery to sound/video editing. All of the learning stuff can be done online.

50. Make a list of things you want to do before you die. It could be stupid, weird or wild. Go crazy!

https://www.danielbranch.com/50-things-to-do-on-a-boring-day-at-home/

[lettersforyoulettersforme]

Post 1

July 15, 2017

Here it is! The first of a series of daily posts that I’ll be doing for 30 whole days. Inspired by my lovely friend Matt Ross’ blog on his website. Just as a way to check in with myself and hold myself accountable. I journal a fair amount, usually every day or at least 3-4 times a week. But this will be different. I’m going to be writing about various themes or ideas… I’m giving myself prompts and seeing where it goes. A big part of this is going to be letting go of expectations that I may have. I don’t need to create anything worthwhile or gorgeous or earth shattering. I want to write and let myself think out loud.

So with that in mind, I’m going to be talking a little bit about “sangha,” the Buddhist term for community. I’m stealing this idea from Matt’s blog but I figured it was a great place to start. Because community is something that I have always tried hard to create for myself. And I’m someone who has always existed in various communities, having multiple friend groups or jobs or volunteer activities, etc. This August, it will be two years since I have moved to Washington, DC. It feels like much more than 2 years. I’ve had a series of romantic relationships here, held a job for the longest period of time, started graduate school, become financially independent from my parents, gotten significantly closer with my sister who lives here, fell in love, moved into 2 different apartments, and met a shit ton of new people. Most of those people are from work but some are from volunteering experiences or from my grad school classes. One of them is my boyfriend and then some of them are my boyfriend’s co-workers who I adore. These various people shape my community and help me feel at home.

Speaking of home, Hayley is coming to visit for the weekend!! I’m so happy that she’ll be here in like 2 hours and we’ll have days and days to just hang the fuck out and chill and catch up. I remember when I first moved here, I was living in a studio apartment that I found on Craigslist. It was completely furnished and it just didn’t quite feel like it was mine. I stepped off the plane from Greece and I was in NYC for 2 days before I took the train to DC. And then that was that, I was here and it was a whirlwind. I had two job interviews and I learned how to take the bus to and fro and that was that. I wasn’t exactly settled, but it was my home. I loved having the space to myself but living in a 400 square foot box filled with some stranger’s stuff isn’t the warmest welcome. Hayley and I would FaceTime for literally hours at a time. I was so lonely, I listened to podcasts constantly just to hear someone talking. I watched a lot of TV. I wasn’t depressed exactly, but I couldn’t run away to Greece any more and ignore my issues. I had just graduated from college and I was scared. I had a Bachelor of Music that I knew I wasn’t going to use and I felt stuck. A fresh start was the only thing that I had so I really tried to make the most of it. I met Isabella at my orientation for my waitressing job and she was truly my first friend here! I had my sister but I do love Isabella for introducing me to the vegan food DC has to offer and for making me feel like I had someone to call besides my little sister. Isabella is, in fact, my sister’s age. She was a sophomore in college when we met, so she had this youthful perspective that I loved. In hindsight, I think our friendship was so precious because she made me feel like I was still in college. But then it became glaringly obvious that I was NOT in college any longer and things began to clash and fray. But more on that later. Honestly, I’m so lucky to have met someone who I genuinely liked right off the bat. Every time I go to certain places here- Tryst, that Indian food place in Adams Morgan, Sticky Fingers- I think of Isabella and the gentle way in which she led me through DC. All of the long walks we took, the picnics in Rock Creek Park. She showed me how beautiful this city really and truly is when I just wanted to go any place other than NY.

And then there was Donald’s brother. Who was the only other person I knew when I moved here. If I am honest with myself right now, I really liked him. I didn’t move here for him, but I did really like him. And I wanted to date him. The sex was great and I thought that if we lived in the same city, we could have a chance to really get to know each other. I remember that he was in Iceland when I first arrived so I had several weeks to settle in before we actually met up. I think that I went to a movie with Dylan and his friends. Not a movie exactly but a series of short films? Which in hindsight is so artsy and I loved the movies. We went to Shake Shack afterwards and I remember thinking his friends were these bros and I just wanted to be alone with him. We decided to get a drink somewhere in Chinatown and it was readily apparent that we were gonna sleep together. It’s funny how important each and every detail was to me at the time because I barely even remember it now. I think we went back to my apartment? And I was so embarrassed because it was a shit hole and I had been to his beautiful palace of an apartment before. That’s just the thing, I was so embarrassed to be my imperfect self around Dylan. I could never just be myself and that was clearly problematic.

We dated/ hung out/ fucked/ whatever you wanna call it for close to 3 months. I tried my best to keep it casual, but it was hard. That’s not my style if I really like someone. And it’s hard to play it cool and be busy when you have so few friends haha. My therapist, someone I started seeing like a week after I moved here, hated him. She made no attempt to hide that. Karen, who I have since stopped seeing, was this mid to late 60 year old woman with GIANT tits who had a cane. It was a lot. Her sessions were a lot, she was super opinionated and taught me exactly how I don’t want to be as a therapist. She was pushy and judgy and yeah, it didn’t work out. It was hard because she’s a sweet lady and she meant well. But she was always telling me to wear a condom otherwise I would get AIDS (I swear to God). She never let me forget the one time that I was going to cook Dylan and I dinner. I had bought us nice steaks from Whole Foods and we were gonna cook at his home. He was running late from work and long story, I ended up waiting 3 hours outside of his apartment for him to get there. He was apologetic but I was beyond done. At least for the evening. I walked the 30 minute walk home and cooked myself one of those delicious filets. Dylan never got to experience my steak making skills but that is something that I learned here in DC: you should never have to wait for anyone else. And that steak is best prepared when broiled.

I feel like I’m straying away from my topic of community, so I’m gonna try to get back to that. And now I’m lost my train of thought… stupid Instagram feed.

I do spend a lot of time thinking about community. For so long it was the community of New York or NYU Steinhardt or Hayley, Josh, Donald and myself. Or just the community/ cradle of school to keep you safe from judging your current life situation. I didn’t realize how lost I would feel after college. I’m not as lost as some people I know- not to name names or compare- but I know it could be worse. I know that I’ve build myself a community here. I have a friend who I go to the farmers’ market with every Saturday and we go for long shady sidewalk walks and talk about work and ambition and sex. It’s wonderful and I feel like this adult who has something she didn’t have before. She has something that Mommy and Daddy didn’t give her, she sat at her pottery wheel and she made it herself. It’s wonky and wombly and sometimes ugly in certain lights, but I made it! And that’s how I feel about this community I have here in DC. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with all of the plans I have with my friends and then sometimes I feel like I have no one and I love that. I just spent all of last night zoned out watching a new Netfflix show. I made myself pasta and I even made my own alfredo sauce. I took a luxurious shower and read my book. I woke up at 5 AM and I was startled and my light was still on. I got up to turn it off and I realized how at home I am here. I am my own community as well as the rings of people around me and I love knowing that. I never felt that in NYC. I tried hard to stand on my own but it was a laborious task. Here in DC, life moves in waves and it’s much easier to not be caught up in everything that is so superficial.

So yeah. Here’s to making the most from the city and the people around you. And to realizing that I am enough of my own community to bring a warm light and ceaseless joy anywhere I go.