#i was also gonna say husband but i wanna stay on theme

[agathabridgerton]

DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION (2014)  ↳ Cullen Rutherford in The Wrath of Heaven

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

In another life part 3

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Summary: You tag along on a mission.

Warnings: Language and suggestive themes, violence against a curse

“Now just what is that smell?” Gojos head popped around the corner wall eyes glowing.

You smile awkwardly, “Hopefully that’s a good comment?”.

“If it tastes as good as it smells then definitely… you didn’t have to make breakfast though”.

“I wanted to, to thank you for everything you’ve done so far for me”. You smiled shyly while plating up a stack of 10 strawberries and cream French toast with white chocolate sauce and fresh fruit. A sickeningly sweet combo that was also one of satorus favorites.

He sat down at the table eyeing the breakfast in awe.

“So this is how she trapped me…”

“Huh did you say something?”

“Nope”

“Alright, dig in.” You set your own plate down, a couple plain pancakes with some fruit.

“Thank you for the meal”

You smirked to yourself when you saw him absolutely devour the meal out of the corner of your eye.

Yup, I know how to keep my transdimentional husband💅

“So what’s the plan for today?” You ask shoving a piece of strawberry in your mouth.

Gojo pauses and leans back arms crossed. “Well I do have some business to take care of with the students but after that I’m thinking we head back to the school and see what information we can dig up. So I’ll pick you up later I guess”.

“No way” you shake your head.

“Huh?”

“I mean there’s no way I’m staying here, I know it’s safe here because of the veil but I need to train! Who knows when Amomeeemo will show up again, I wanna be ready this time!”.

Is his name really that hard?

“Uh well I have no problem letting you tag along, can’t say I’m not curious to see your technique.”

“Great… oh but my clothes are kind of all curse gooed out…

“Oh right, give me a second”

*swoosh*

He didn’t even ask me my size- oh right, like he needed too…

*flashback*

“I swear I could go blind right now and be a happy man the rest of my life…” you turned meeting his glowing eyes as he leaned lazily on the wall eyeing you up and down.”

“Aw hey don’t say that” you turned back to stirring the eggs not knowing if the heat was from the stove or your cheeks

Last night was the first time you and satoru had ahem… canoodled and you were currently clad in one of his shirts loosely buttoned with nothing under.

“Soooo” you blushed feeling warm arms wrap around you from behind.

“Normally I’d ask how it was but judging by how loud you were last night I don’t need to…” he bit your ear, hot breathe on your neck making you shiver.

“Mmm cocky…it was fine…”you tried to sound annoyed but that was hard when your heart was going a mile a minute.

“Oh yeah? T-T-Toru ah ah please ah! sooo good I’m gonna cu-“ he mocked.

“AH STOP” you shoved him away embarrassed.

“Crap I burned the eggs!”.

“Here let me” he reached over for the pan with the biggest smirk and turned to the trash.

You the tomato turned away in a huff and sat at the table.

“How about we go out for breakfast? There’s this great place nearby, they make these soufflé pancakes that are just the best.”

“Well I would say yes but I kinda don’t have any clothes since someone tore my dress last night…”

“Oh don’t worry, I already got you new clothes~” he threw a bag your way.

“You did?” Huh!?

Bersace? And is this real Jucci!?

“Ah Toru you didn’t have to buy such expensive things- wait how did you know my size?” You quirk a brow holding a bra up with your pinky.

“Oh please, I have six eyes, I knew all your measurements the day I met you”

“Ew that’s so creepy…”

“Well I can always return the stuff-“

“N-no it’s fine, thank you Toru” you shyly approach him and kiss him on the cheek.

“Hmm you call that a thank you?”

“S-shut up I’m not used to this…jerk” you turn to leave embarrassed.

“Aw did I make you upset baby? C’mere…” his impossibly long arm wrapped around your waist and brought you back to him.

You could see that familiar look in his eyes..

“W-what about breakfast..” you gulp averting your eyes.

“Hmm m’kinda hungry for something else now…” he whispered in your ear…

*Flashback end*

*SWOOSH*

“Huh what’s wrong with your face??”

You quickly fixed your expression, “n-nothing just thinking… those for me?” You pointed to the bag he was holding.

“Yep, you’ll have to make do until we go shopping” he handed you the bag.

“Make do with designer clothes? I think I’ll manage” you smirked pulling out an outfit and seeing the label, *Louis Button* still has the best taste huh?

“Thank you baby they’re gorgeous…”

“…”

“Ah-! Crap s-sorry” ugh so embarrassing.

He just tilted his head in amusement. After the initial weirdness wore off he was finding himself enjoying this now.

“I’ll go change..” you rush off into the room and slam the door.

****************************************************

“Gooood Morning students!” Gojos cheery mood was a stark difference to the kids who looked ready to kill him.

“You said we were meeting in Roppongi!!”

“Yeah what’s up with that!?! This place sucks!”

“Did you guys actually believe him…”

Gojo claps and side steps to reveal you.

“Oh hey it’s you.”

You wave shyly at the group who scrutinizes you.

“Well everyone allow me to introduce you to y/n! She’s from another universe but one where she knows everyone, freaky right!?”

“Are you joking? No way that’s true”

“We literally saw her fall from the sky, is it really that hard to believe?”

“Well… ok then if you really do know us then tell us some things about us.”

You thought for a moment.

“Things.. um well Yuji likes girls like Jennifer Lawrence… Nobara wants to be a fashion model… and Megumi is allergic to cats..”

“Well she’s right…”

“So weird…”

“Hey so you a sorcerer or something then?”

“Mm kinda? I help out occasionally but I’m mostly only good at barriers and seals. I can excersize low level curses though.”

“Or keep them as pets.” Gojo mumbled.

“So how did you-“ the kids are abruptly cut off by a loud clap.

“Alright guys, you’ll have all the time in the world to question later her but first, we have a special grade to take care of!”

“Oh right..”

Gojo led you all to what appeared to be an old abandoned warehouse.

“Ew it smells..”

“Hey why don’t you put up the veil?” Gojo said over his shoulder.

“Oh uh sure.” He probably curious to see my techniques…

“Emerge from lightness brighter still…” you make the hand sign and feel the energy curse through you.

“Huh?”

“What in the sailor moon school girl shoujo was that?” One exclaimed!

“What do you mean?” You furrow a brow watching as your veil encompasses the area perfectly.

“Your veil, the speech, heck even the color of it, what gives??”

“This is how everyone does it...?” You cock your head. Is this not how they did it?

“So weird..”

“Um so anyway… let’s go” Gojo leads the group again inside the building.

You enter a large dusty and dark room, with one flickering light illuminating the space.

“So creepy…” you comment glancing around wearily.

“I definitely feel a strong presence..” Yuji commented kicking away a moldy piece of… whatever that was..

Suddenly Gojo stopped and motioned forward with his head, “Go on, I’ll stand back here unless you really need me”.

The kids stepped forward, you hung back as well. You wanted to train yes but didn’t want to get in the way of their lesson.

A scurrying and squeak had you shrieking and suddenly launching yourself onto Gojos arm unconsciously stepping up on his shoes so the offending animal couldn’t get you.

“Ew ew ew so gross” you held on tight until the rat was out of view.

“Ah! not again!!” You jumped back off in a fluster of apologies and embarrassment.

“Don’t apologize, I’m honestly finding all of this funny now.”

“Don’t say that….” You mumble mortified.

*Crash*

“Ah there it is!” Suddenly a giant grotesque spider looking curse swings down from the ceiling. You see the kids a little ways ahead get into position.

“I know they need to get stronger but I always hate watching them fight…” you sighed a bit sadly. Gojo couldn’t protect them forever but you wish he could..

“You care about them a lot huh?”

“Of course I do, they’re basically family…I wonder how they’re doing… they have a tournament coming up soon too.. winner gets promoted to first grade.”

“Oh? They choose like that?”

“Yeah, but I think it would be-ah! S-should we help them?!” You cried out watching the spider thingy wrap them up in webs.

“Nope not yet, have faith in them.”

“I know I just- ah I can’t watch!” You turn around covering your eyes.

Huh? A cold feeling washed over you all of the sudden. Slowly you looked up and eyed the ceiling carefully. You felt it before you saw it, a giant ball of spider saliva shooting your way.

Your right hand moved on instinct, swiping across your body whilst releasing a burst of energy that acted as a shield. The saliva sputtered on the ground melting and sizzling.

“Ah so you do have some skill after all.” Gojo said directly behind you.

The jerk, he could’ve warned you!

“Why don’t you take care of this spider for us? You said you needed training right? This one is a lot weaker than the one the kids are fighting.” Gojo smirked.

Ugh why did I say that??? Spiders are so creepy ew..

“S-sure” you shivered in disgust as the being spiraled down from the ceiling.

You swiped your right hand out again and this time let the energy form in your palm. When it was adequate you pushed it in the direction of the curse.

Crap it’s fast… you dodged another saliva attack with your shield and rethought your strategy.

Instead of aiming at the curse you aimed at the Ceiling above it.

*Rumble* *Crash*

*SCREEEEEEEECH*

You winced as the ceiling caved in and smooshed the spider under it to the ground.

You took a few steps back watching the pile carefully.

You charged a different, more powerful blast in your palm and waited.

…..

…..

…..

“SCREEEEEEEECH”

The pile erupted and you readied your hand. You totally got this.

The curse was quick to set its 100 eyes on you and make a dash.

Ok ready to hit it in three, two on- huh? Ah

Suddenly a flash of heat washed over you and your vision blurred.the spider was suddenly tilted in your eyes.

*swoosh*

“Uh hey you ok?” Your view was changed to silvery white locks hovering over you.

Gojo frowned holding you in his arms

“You were doing good, what happened?”

You used a hand clutching his chest to hold yourself steady in his arms. “Frgot mm pills”

“Huh?” Oh right. Your Satoru did mention something about iron pills. Guess I should’ve taken it more seriously…

“I’ll be fine… just stop spinning for a second” you frowned.

“I’m standing still…”

****************************************************

“Sorry for the trouble…” you were currently sipping on some juice in a nearby cafe with Gojo. A small bottle of pills by your hand.

“It’s fine don’t worry about it.” He waved dismissively.

“Besides, the pharmacy was by this cafe which happens to be one of my favorites.”

“I don’t think I’ve been here before… ooh they have matcha cake rolls, you know who’d love this place? Suguru, hes always hating on sweet stuff but this one doesn’t seem like it has too much sugar…”

“Hm? Oh yeah..”

Huh, there it is again, that weird feeling when I bring up Suguru.

Do I ask? No I shouldn’t right? Maybe I can ask the kids..

It’s nearing evening time when you and Gojo are making your way to the school. You asked him not to warp based on how dizzy you just were.

You subtly glance to the side, the setting sun illuminating his profile in a golden hue. He opted for his designer glasses today and man were you a sucker for them.

You remember the time you accidentally sat on one of his limited edition Lay Banz shades and he made you hold a funeral for them. Man what a goof…

“Uh you ok over there?” Gojo raised a brow hearing you snicker to yourself like a maniac.

“Yeah, just remembered something funny…”

He hummed and smiled. “Your smile sorta reminds me of something…just can’t quite put my finger on what…”

You smiled warmly, thinking back to one of your first dates.

*Flashback*

“Your smile reminds me of something…”

“Oh yeah? What?”.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I won’t laugh…” probably…

“My grandmother...”.

“Your grandmother? Why?”

Did you have an old lady laugh??

“Well when she smiled, everything around her seemed to brighten up.”

“….”

“Huh why are you so red?”

“Shut up.”

*end flashback*

“Uh oh you’re turning colors again, you’re not gonna faint again are you??” Gojo started fanning you.

“I’m good I’m good-“ you smack his hand away laughing.

“Did I mention you’re kinda weird?”

“Well Excuse me, I do not take insults from someone who organizes their sun glasses by, and I quote, “Cold, Warm, and Horny” like I still to this day don’t get what that means!”

“….you know too much…”

You give him a teasing smile, “I did mention we are married right?”

“So weird…”

****************************************************

Thank you all for the amazing support!! It means so much and motivates me to keep going! I love you all xoxo

Also please don’t be shy to interact or send me things in my inbox, I love that stuff haha

@gojosatorulover7 @goaway-plzz @goldenglow149 @taakt17 @kneesheee @yumii-34 @ritsatoru @generalstephkenobi @author20 @bitchycloudstrawberry @hojoslutoru @sheluvnassi @shirabane @reagan707 @angstylittleb1tch

[bokubear]

Haikyuu!! — he comes home angry

❥ including ; ( timeskip! ) kurō tetsuro, bokuto koutarou, meian shūgo, suna rintarou, atsumu miya

❥ genre ; angst, fluff, insecurity, comfort, suggestive themes, small fights, making-up

❥ notes ; this one makes my heart HURT but it’s also too fluffy to resist\(//∇//)\

Kurō doesn’t speak when he walks through the door. Instead, he shuts himself inside the bathroom—resorting to texting you ‘sorry kitten, bad day.’ While you’d already noticed thanks to the usual kiss he delivered being absent. This happens occasionally, when Kurō’s had an especially frustrating day or he finds himself in a stressful situation. But he tries his hardest to not have you involved. Saying how this is “his” problem and he doesn’t want to say something mean. Until finally, the exhausted cat exits from being holed up in the bathroom and into your arms. The heavy sigh is enough confirmation to run your fingers through his dark hair. And god is he grateful to come home and sleep on your soft chest. Man is snoring in minutes.

Bokuto very rarely comes home angry. But on those peculiar practices he’ll drop his bag by the door, standing motionlessly in defeat. Nearing the breaking point, and you can tell immediately. “Kou.. hard day?” You say gently, watching as he lifts his head in hopes you won’t see the welling tears; you do. “I’m not good enough.. I did horrible today.” He bites his lip, concealing himself from you. “Baby. Look at me.” You hush, cupping that sweet, adorably precious face in your palms—and the eyes staring back at you utterly break your heart. Bokuto is a tearful angry. “You can be mad, you can cry, but don’t say you’re not good enough. You’re amazing Kou.” Pressing a saccharine kiss to his lips, squeaking in surprise as the ace lifted you up with ease; the once innocent kiss turning hotter—messier. Much less innocent than before. “Kou.. now?” You huff, the latter trailing kisses along your neck as you spoke. “Wanna show you how much you mean to me, how much I don’t deserve you.” And when he said it like that, it was irresistible.

Meian completely ignored you upon arriving home, disappearing into your shared room without a single hello. You assumed he was upset, deciding to focus on the dinner you were preparing. However, all was well till your husband rejected your meal—straight up standing up from the barstool. “I don’t have an appetite.” With tight lips, you speak up before he leaves once again. “Do you want to keep it so you can have it later-“I said I don’t want it.” His tone of voice changing drastically to something venomous. The door slammed as well, abandoning you to clean up the mess with a trembling lip and hurt feelings. When Meian was mad, he didn’t yell—he’d have this horribly mean attitude that broke your heart even more so. But when you texted him a ‘I think I’m gonna stay at my friends tonight, to give you space.’ He knew he’d been too harsh. In actuality, he was beyond guilty for how rude he’d been, but he couldn’t quite figure out how to make it up to you. So as you were asking your way out the door, your husband flew to hug your back. “You don’t know when to stop.” You sigh against him, his warm hands enveloping your hips. “I don’t. So please, stay here with me. I want to make it up to you.” Rest assured he definitely made it up to you.

Suna calls you on his way home on the subway, voice muffled not only from the phone-line, but also his down-cast behavior. “‘Wanna hear your voice..” You smile, this side of Rin was rare—and a gem to your day all the same. “Today was not my day.” He groans, you can hear him walking along the sidewalk leading home. “No luck?” The amused lilt in your voice makes Suna hiss, it’s as if you could see him roll his eyes from your place on the couch. “I hate our coach. It sucks to think I could be with you when I’m stuck there.” He mumbles, cheek pressed to the phone screen as if he’s trying to reach you on the other side. “I think you’ll survive Rinnie. Come home, I want you.” He chokes on his water. “You.. want me? Baby?” His assumption earns a series of shouts from you—denying the way that sentence sounded. “I-I meant to cuddle and watch movies!! Rinnnnn..” Now it was his turn to sound amused, cheekily replying. “I’m almost there, then you can have me any way you want honey.” — “Rin!”

Atsumu notifies Osamu first. It may sound a little strange, I mean, you’re his lover. Yet this is simply for precautious reasons. And once you understand, it reveals the concerned and considerate part of the blonde twin. “Why can’t I work part-time at Onigiri Miya..” Atsumu cursed, Osamu rubbing his temples on the other side. “I wanna strangle that owl sometimes!! He’s way to happy-go lucky. ‘Ya get me?” He pouts, kicking leaves away like a seriously spoiled toddler. “It’s nice that yer taking out yer anger on me and not Y/n ‘Tsumu, but choking someone without their consent is a crime.” Atsumu barks a laugh. “Yah! ‘Samu! You’re kinkier than I thought! Oh, I’m home, bye!” And with that he hangs up, and poor Osamu is left to await his visit the next day. “Angel! I talked to ‘Samu on the way here and guess what he said-“Have you been venting your anger on him to spare me?” This stops the setter in his tracks. Crap. He’s been caught. “Uhh.. nah.” The pathetic lie earns him a ‘cut the crap’ look. “Come to me if you’re fussy, it’s time you spare your brother.” Dragging him to the dinner table as you speak. “Yes angel.. but did you know Osamu’s into choki-OW!”

-maak

plagiarism, repost, and editing is prohibited

[milogreer]

Grah (Milo 🥺🥺) ('send me a character' ask game!)

@darlinghowl asked: milo too!

YAAYYY HUSBAND TIME 🩷🩷 ↳ send me a character!

My first impression: i’m being so so serious when i say i had to pause milo’s first audio pretty much immediately after he started talking because his accent made me blush LMFAO it’s like he was built for me in a fuckin lab. werewolf with a ny/nj accent, the cockiness and bitchiness with just that hint of a soft side near the end when he talks about wanting dahlia to stay safe, and the FLIRTINESS my god. and that was ONE AUDIO LMAO that’s not even getting into everything else he has going on that felt tailored to me (*cough*heatingupinthebedroom*cough*) 🫠💖 

My impression now: unchanged baby he has been my number one since day one!!! not that this is surprising to anyone given my blog theme 🤣 i may not talk about him all the time but he’s never losing top spot in my heart. i’ve gotten butterflies from a handful of moments across the redactedverse but nothing that stuck with me as hard as the panic attack audio did, and he still makes me kick my feet and twirl my hair whenever he gets all sweet 💘 he’s truly the redacted love of my life

A favorite thing: as a massive horror media enjoyer, i think it’s so cute that he’s a little scaredy cat when it comes to ghosts and demons. the gameplay vids are super immersive for me bc whenever he jumps at something i start giggling and then he tells sweetheart to shut up for also giggling LMAO 

Least favorite thing: nothing. he’s the most perfect man ever. actually no least favorite thing is that he doesn’t talk abt his family enough !! i wanna know more about his family life so badly after the “worried about you” audio 😫 i wanna know more about marie other than that she likes ghostbusters and nags his ear off when he gets himself hurt and i wanna really dig into his feelings for his previously alcoholic/gambling addict father

Favorite interaction they have with another: AHHH THE ASHER MOUNTAIN INCIDENT. ok ok i’ve talked abt this before but i’m gonna say it again bc it always bears repeating. this was i think the first time we’ve heard about him shifting after regaining the ability post-inversion and it made me actually cry bc it was just two best friends having stupid fun together as shifters 😭😭 like even though milo came out of it injured he still got to wolf out and fuck around with asher and that makes me sooo happy for him after suffering through those 5-6 months being unable to shift

A character that I wish they would interact with more: DARLIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE erik i’m on my knees!!! darlin’s gotten audios with david and asher, when will it be milo’s turn!! i’ve thought a lot about them as teens and how they got on and how they navigated being sort of the odd ones out wrt their family dynamics vs david and asher’s + how the pack meeting with darlin went ☹️ i need them to get a one on one audio

A headcanon: aggro is a black cat that milo adopted from a shelter specifically because of the stigma surrounding black cats. people think they’re unlucky or evil or whatever but aggro is the sweetest little thing and he was just a little baby who had been there for probably a month or two and when milo came around, there was an instant connection 🥺 i also think that if he wasn’t already a registered ESA then they definitely would’ve gotten it done post-inversion. milo doesn’t typically take him anywhere but sometimes sweetheart will take him with them to the office; he even has a cute little ESA vest 🥰

A song: this is so hard because i have a handful of good ones… one i don’t think i’ve posted before is just what i needed by the cars! really early relationship vibes, i like it a lot 💕

An unpopular opinion: [looks around cautiously before leaning close to the mic and whispering] i don’t think he’s into being called daddy. MAYBE I’M BIASED because i don’t usually vibe with it myself, but i just don’t see it. however i think if you called him “sir” you’d both be locked up in the bedroom for several hours 🤷🏼‍♀️

[littlemarylil]

Reunion

Stanislaus Katczinsky X f!reader

Part 1

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut, fluff, sexual themes, age gap

Summary: This final part is set few months after the first one, the war has ended and you still live with your family, but then you receive an unexpected letter.

A/N: This took longer than I expected and I wanna apologize for that but it's also longer than the first part. Also my English isn't the best, so please don't mind some mistakes. :)

Word count: 3,3k

After the ‘incident’ in the forest your family seemed to be suspicious or maybe your feeling of guilt made you feel that way. They never asked you about it, you never talked about it, but you felt around them more uncomfortable than you did before.

So a letter from your aunt saying she needed help at her farm, because her husband died was a relief for you, but you didn't know it yet. Someone had to go to her farm and stay there until the work was done. Your father fell ill so your mother had to do most of the work on this farm and take care of your father. Before your father made up his mind, it was already obvious to you, that your father wouldn't let your brother leave. There was only one person left.

Early in the morning you packed your things without single objection and left. The only person who said goodbye to you was your mum. She was quite the opposite of you. She wasn't stubborn, she always did everything as your father said and never argued with him. You were worried about her, because now it's gonna be just her and them. You gulped back your tears. Nobody knew how long you'll stay at your aunt's farm, but you didn't really care, your home was now hell on earth for you. Your aunt was completely alone for few months and you didn't know in which state you'll find her. Over the years she and your uncle became more friends than partners, but it's kinda normal, isn't it? They always wanted children but somehow it never happened. ‘It's better to never have children than watch them die in war’, you thought.

The war was over but it didn't really left, aftereffects were everywhere around you. On the ground, on the people. Widows, drunks, children, beggars, handicapped... – you met many people during your journey and every one of them could tell you a different story.

After the sunset you finally arrived to the farm, everything was calm, the only source of light came from the kitchen. You knocked on the door and waited. After a while the door swung open. Your aunt stared at you for a while and then gave you a tight hug. It was nice to see her again, she looked more tired and older than the last time you saw her.

“I'm glad it's you and not your... Nevermind, come in, you must be tired after the way.” She was right, you were tired. You followed her to the kitchen and put your suitcases down on the floor. She served you soup, you didn't eat anything whole day so if felt like a gift from heaven. After you were full she finally spoke, you didn't know how you should talk to her, if your questions couldn't be too harmful for her right now, so you just let her talk and listened. Your uncle didn't die in war, but because he was sick and nobody had drugs for him. Of course they tried to cure him with more natural ways but it wasn't enough. After he died your aunt was left here alone and she needed help with farm, especially from a man who can do hard work. Well you have to be enough.

When she said everything she wanted to she asked you about the news at your home. You told her that your father also fell sick, but it's not something serious and he should be alright soon, about how much your brother look up to him... You also mentioned how two German soldiers stole a goose and eggs from your farm and how you stopped your brother from shooting the older one.

“What did you do after that?” she asked you after you moved ahead in our story and didn't explain this thing.

You felt your cheeks getting red. “I just-”, you tried to find good excuse, “stayed there for a moment, made sure he's not armed and that he's not going back to hurt my brother and then ran back home.” That sounds believably, right? Guessing from her reaction she believed you and you continued. You felt bad for lying to her, but you also couldn't tell her the truth.

After your conversation you were really tired and so was she. She showed you the room in which you will now live for you didn't know how long. It was nice little room, with single bed, wardrobe and window on the south.

You laid on your bed and before you fell asleep you couldn't keep the thought about the fact the war actually brought something good to you off your mind. Of course you knew that war means the worst things a human can think of, but if the war didn't happen, you most likely wouldn't be here. And you felt happy here, you finally were free and useful. Another thought came through your mind... It was about the soldier, Stanislaus. You tried to keep him off your mind, because he was most likely dead or back with his family or that other soldier, trying to live normal life and he never thought about you ever again. You sighted. No matter how wrong or weird it was, he made you feel good and wanted and you liked it.

After you woke up you opened your window, it was springtime. Everything was again full of energy after tiring winter. It was time to get to work.

You spend 3 months here now, the work was hard but you got used to it. The most important things that should be done earlier are now finished and now you got yourself into the endless circle of everyday work on the farm. You were preparing lunch for your aunt and yourself when you heard her talk with someone on the farmyard. It didn't sound like she's talking with some neighbour or someone she knew, it was more like an argument. You went outside to see what's happening. Your aunt was arguing with someone and before you were able to see the other person you already realized why was she upset. The other person wasn't speaking French but German and she hated when someone tried to speak German to her.

“What's happening auntie?” you walked to her and didn't pay much attention to the other person, yet.

“You can speak German, am I right? So please tell this gentleman to turn around and go where he came from, I don't have time for this,” after she said that she went to the barn and didn't care about the man anymore.

You finally paid attention to the man she was speaking with. He was already looking at you and looked as surprised as you did.

“Jesus...” (He's not gonna help you right now.) You took a step back. You didn't know if this was a nightmare or a dream. He was really there, in front of you, looking at you with the same eyes he did when you first met. It was this shit all over again. It was Stanislaus.

“What- What the fuck are you doing here?” You screamed this sentence although your voice was quiet.

He didn't answer, just kept looking at you. Your eyes searched for your aunt, she was still in the barn, that's good, this will take some time. He laughed, but it wasn't a laugh of happiness. What are you supposed to do? Tell him to go away? Just like that? And act like you don't know him? What was he even doing here? Did he come to steal again, to hurt you, do hurt your aunt? Was he also at your farm? Did he hurt your family? Where was the other soldier?

“What are you doing here?” You needed answers there's time for mental breakdown later. It seems like he finally got to his senses.

“I was looking for you everywhere, but now when I found you... I don't know what to say.”

This cough you off guard, but before you could say something your aunt got back.

“What does he want? Tell him we don't have anything for him and that he should go away.”

“He's asking me for a direction,” you lied. Again.

“Send him to hell where he belongs,” she answered and walked into the house.

“You can't stay here, you have to go away,” you grabbed his hand and led him away.

“Listen to me, I don't know why are you here or what you want here, but you need to leave,” you insisted.

“No, you listen to me, I didn't come all the way here just to leave when I finally found you.”

You didn't understand anything.

“What do you want here?”

“You.”

He was pretty straight with that and you appreciated it, but what the- does that mean??

You sat on a stone that lay on a wayside and rested your head on your knees, your head was full of thoughts and your feelings were mixed. Were you happy? Worried? Upset? Probably all of that.

“I'm sorry I just storm here like that...” The tone of his voice changed. He stroked your shoulder and sat next to you.

You looked at him: “How did you know I'm here? You don't even know my name.”

He was thinking for a moment. “I didn't know you're here, I went to the farm where I met you, but you weren't there, so I just... I just wandered around...” he looked so lost.

“Why didn't you go back to your home after war and stay there?”

“Y/N!?” your aunt called your name from the farm.

•••

You didn't know how you've done it but after a long conversation you've managed to persuade your aunt to let Stanislaus stay for some time.

“You shouldn't be so nice to him, you'll regret it later,” your aunt whispered as you two watched him undress himself in the kitchen.

“He just needed to wash himself,” you responded as you looked at the washtub laying on the table.

Your aunt sighed and rushed off the door on the farmyard. “I agreed to see my friend today, but now I'm not sure I can leave you here alone,” she called to you. You finally stopped staring and left before it became too creepy.

“When I get there, I'll ask her son Martin to go here and help you.”

You couldn't help yourself but roll your eyes.

“He's not getting near me, he thought it was funny to push me into water when I couldn't swim and put dead rats in my bed-”

“You were both kids back then,” your aunt responded and smiled a bit.

“But he's still idiotisch.”

She signed. You came to her, “Please believe me, it doesn't seem that he came here to hurt us, besides thanks to my brother I know how to fight with a man.”

She held your hands and said: “Please just promise me that if anything would happen, you will run away and won't try to be a hero.”

“I promise.”

•••

You were sitting on a bench and enjoyed hot weather when Stanislaus came out. He sat next to you and asked you, “She's not here?”

“No, but she'll come back soon, meanwhile you can finally explain what you're doing here.”

He lighted a cigarette and inhaled the smoke, “I'll tell you everything after you will finally introduce yourself to me,” he looked at you and offered you his cigarette which you accept. “I'm Y/N.”

As you enjoyed the cigarette he started: “When the war ended I tried to go back home, to my wife and live the same life before I left, but... I just couldn't, we couldn't. I wasn't the husband she knew and after few months she left me. Everyone I knew from the front died and people from the place I used to live just didn't understand...”

You passed him the cigarette. “What about the other guy you were with in the forest?”

“He died the day the war had ended.” You noticed the tears that started to fill his eyes, but he tried to avoid it. They had to be close.

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

“You don't have to be sorry, he didn't mean anything to you, he was just some guy who stole from you farm.”

You both fell silent and just enjoyed the shared cigarette together.

After a while you had to ask: “But I still don't understand why you tried to find me?”

Stanislaus threw away the cigarette butt and looked at you: “Don't you get it? You are the only one I've left.”

You couldn't help yourself but smile at that sentence. “What do you expect me to do? Why do you think it's gonna be different or better with me, when it didn't even work with your own wife?”

“It's my last chance, you are my last chance.”

You felt sorry for him. How hopeless and lonely must a human be to go and find the girl he once hooked up with in the forest, because he doesn't have anyone else? But this wasn't your fight, you didn't own him anything and you already had enough problems.

“I'm sorry Stanislaus, but this isn't my fight,” you stood up, walked through the gate and headed to meadow.

You laid down into the grass, made yourself comfortable and tried to collect your thoughts.

Not long after, Stanislaus arrived and sat down next to you. He scanned your entire body and you did notice that. You couldn't blame him, you were wearing a summer dress which sometimes showed more than you wanted.

“Looking for something?”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't...”

“Just like I shouldn't seduce you in that forest, but I did,” you sat up to get closer to him, “To be honest, I didn't have it easy at home after that, well before it's wasn't perfect either, but-”

“You saved my life back there.” He looked straight into your eyes, he was serious about it.

“I know... and I don't regret any moment I had there with you. And that's probably the bad thing.”

He held your hand and then kissed it. He was really testing your morals right now. He moved up to your arm and continued kissing it. He put his leg between yours, laid you down and started kissing your collarbones. His hand moved under your dress and started squeezing your thigh, you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer to you. He finally kissed you on lips, it's was passionate, like he wanted to do this for a long time and now he couldn't get enough. You couldn't believe you're doing this again, are you really that easy, or was it just easy with him? Of course some guys have shown interest in you, but you usually straightaway refused or kept them waiting for a long time, but with him it was different, you felt like you don't need to keep him waiting. You excused your first time with an outburst of emotions and a lack of satisfaction on both sides, but now you both knew what you were doing.

“What's wrong?” he studied your face. You were completely lost in your thoughts.

“I don't know what I'm doing,” you pushed him off yourself, “this would never work out...”

“Y/N come here,” he grabbed you by your waist and hugged you.

“I hate the effect you have on me.”

“And you can't even imagine what you're doing to me,” he replied. You shook your head.

“I want you to sit on my face,” he said while he was stroking your hair.

“What?” You pulled away from the hug.

“I'm serious about it.”

You hesitated for a moment and looked around in case someone was nearby, but everything seemed quiet. You stood up, took off your panties and did as he said. He kissed your inner thighs, and slowly moved to your slit. His moustache was scratching you, but you didn't mind. He grabbed your hips to help you stay in the right position.

You bit your hand to keep yourself quiet, but it didn't really help. He knew exactly how to make you fall into pieces on him, it was overwhelming for you and the fact that you're doing something wrong turned you on even more. He kept licking and sucking your clit until you finished. You sat down on the ground next to him and tried to pull yourself together. He wiped his mouth and then licked your wetness of his fingers. This was the first time someone ate you out and he definitely wasn't ashamed about it. It was getting really hot, the whole time you were in the sun. You picked up your panties but didn't put them back on.

“Let's get inside,” you smiled at him and headed back. Your aunt wasn't back yet, so that meant you had whole farm for yourself. As you entered the kitchen, he closed the door and grabbed you from behind. He started kissing your neck and lifted your dress up until he took it off completely, leaving you fully naked. His hands that were exploring your newly exposed skin made you gasp. He bendt you over the kitchen table and kissed your back. You heard him unzipping his pants.

“Please,” you begged quietly. He didn't keep you waiting for too long before he slipped his hard cock into you. You whined, the last time you fucked with someone was with him, months ago in that stupid forest. You almost forgot how good it feels, how good it feels with him. He started thrusting, first slowly but after a while he sped up. You had to grab the edge of the table to prevent yourself from moving. He bent over for a moment to look at your face, you were completely trapped under him and he liked it. You already looked like a mess and him hitting your sweet spot inside you really didn't help you. His hands were squeezing your hips as he was thrusting forward hard enough to fill you completely. After couple of minutes he pulled his dick out and finished on your ass.

After a short rest he started looking for something to wipe you with. When he didn't find anything, he decided to clean you up himself. He started licking his own cum off your butt cheek. It caught you off guard, but you immediately remembered this man was at war, he surely ate and experienced worse things than semen on a hot woman he just railed.

You turned around to face him. “You are indeed beautiful Fräulein,” he said as he looked at you in your full beauty. “Not so beautiful after you screwed me like this.” He smiled and cuddled you tightly as you rested your head on his chest.

You jerked as you heard someone opening the gate door. “Fuck,” you quickly picked up your clothes from the floor and ran to your room as Stanislaus zipped his pants.

Your aunt came through the farmyard and came inside and looked around, “Where's Y/N?” she asked Stanislaus suspiciously.

“I'm here,” you entered the room dressed, “how was your visit?”

“It was nice, we had plenty things to talk about... And here? Everything alright?”

You looked at Stanislaus, “We talked about his past, he seems nice...”

The rest of the day went by fast. You went to bed and Stanislaus slept on the sofa in a hall.

It was midnight when someone knocked on your door. You stood up and opened the door. It was Stanislaus, without a word you invited him in and lit a candle on your nightstand.

You broke the silence first, “If you want to stay longer you could help us here, but I'm not the one who decides of you will stay or not...”

He sat next to you and kissed you.

Something told you this was the beginning of something new.

The end.

[sybil-scribble]

Bugsnax HC time everyone!

So Ya'll got my art yesterday, now you get very self indulgent Hcs about each character, with a very specific theme. Affection and Comfort, specifically how each of the Grumps do it and how good they are with it. This was based on a post I saw of someone going over how they'd cuddle every Grumpus and I though it was so fucking cute I wanted to share my own thoughts! - Going in order of when you meet them

Filbo

Very much open to affection, You can hug him at random and he barely is surprised, just smiling and calling you out very gently with just "Hi Buddy! Good to see ya!" He's very okay with it.

Very much gives affection to anyone if you tell him. He always asks before he hugs someone or touches them, doesn't wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Pretty good all around, will give you a big hug if he sees your feeling bad, get you things, talk to you, he does his best.

If he's feeling bad, he is gonna hide the hell out of it. Even if its obvious he's not feeling good he will do everything to try and seem his normal self...but one hug at that point and he's not letting go.

My lovely boy, I would just give him such a big hug, cover him in a blanket and just, squish him, he deserves cuddles and hugs all the time!

Wambus

Doesn't care much for affection like that, if you hug him, he'll let ya the first time before telling you downright he doesn't do hugs.

Although he's a man of action instead of words, he also doesn't really give any affection out to anyone, save for Triffany. He may give a lighthearted punch to the shoulder, but that's about it.

There is the exception if he knows someone is hurting like that. Wambus is horrible with comforting words, so best he can offer is a kind of side hug/arm over your shoulder and letting you go through your feelings. If its a really bad time, he will pull you in more, he's not one for comforting, but if you need it, he'll do his best.

Wambus gets pretty snappy when he's not feeling good, it's not by choice, it's how he was raised, anger kinda springs up on him. He's quick to apologize when he realizes it, sometimes.

Sir, you're the ultimate Dad friend.

Beffica

Beff isn't against hugs, but she doesn't like to give them herself, She'd call you Squeeb if you do, but she'll never tell you not to hug her.

Doesn't give out affection, just accepts it

If you're hurt or sad, she'll make an exception to hug you. She's not as good with people as she thinks, and at best will try and just tell you why you shouldn't be sad at the moment, what good is happening and all that.

If Beff isn't in a good mood, she doesn't leave her home, and will lock the door.

Triffany

She accepts hugs, knows people like hugs and doesn't mind it so long as you tell her first.

Only gives affection to her husband normally, unless atention is needed. Is a big hugger normally.

If someone is hurt she is pushed into Mom friend mode. She'll give you a hug and try to help the situation, however best she can. That is if she notices...if she's doing her studying or preoccupied in general she may overlook you for a bit until something happens to get her attention. She'd tell you stories of her work to give you something to focus on and calm down with.

If Triffany isn't feeling good she'll just spend her day closer to Wambus, other than that she's just a tad lower energy.

Cromdo

I don't have much on Cromdo, he'd likely joke about having to charge you if you hug him too much.

Doesn't really give hugs, will at the very least give you some encouraging words if he can.

Is actually kinda good at comforting people, mostly giving you someone to vent to and clear your head.

Cromdo usually stays quiet when he's not feeling his 100%.

Wiggle

Is perfectly fine with hugs, either giving them or receiving them. Somedays she may just say she isn't feeling like being touched and that will be it until she says she's okay again.

If your hurt, she'll sit by you and try to see what's wrong, if she can, she'll sing for you to try and help out.

If Wiggle isn't feeling good, you'll tell, she isn't singing for one, and if she is, she's not happy with what she's singing about.

Gramble

He won't tell you know, but he doesn't know how to accept it really.

Doesn't hug normally, doesn't want to touch people unless necessary.

he knows how it feels to feel that bad and doesn't want people to feel bad too. Depending on how close you are he'll likely end up coming close to give you a hug, if that doesn't work, he'll put his hat on you to get your attention.

If he's feeling bad, he'd like to be alone so he can get over his sadness, maybe stay with his little ones to calm down. I you try to comfort him, he genuinely may start crying.

If he's sleepwalking, don't hug him, he will latch on and then suddenly you have to sleep in the Barn with him.

My lovely, I wanna give him so much love and hugs, like Filbo but he's small, I can carry him.

Snorpy

Tell him first, he will scream and likely slap you without thinking otherwise, his nerves get him too paranoid for surprises.

Will give a hug if you ask him, but it's quick.

Very bad at comforting people, he couldn't tell he was in a relationship for years you think he can pick up and deal with emotions?

If he feels bad, he goes to Chandlo, that's all

Chandlo

He accepts hugs! But be careful he gives very tight hugs, could hurt if he wasn't so good with his strength.

If your feeling bad, he'll hug ya and hang out to talk, maybe see if you wanna go work out with him, get you moving and focused to see if that helps.

If Chandlo is down, he stays with Snorpy.

Floofty

will bite, like actually, he'll hurt you, don't hug him. If you're close, he may allow things like you pass out on him, but nothing further.

does not comfort you, he's trying to learn about Grumpus interactions, but he's not qualified for comforting yet.

hard to tell when he's down or not, let him be and things are fine.

Shelda

Will ask you not to, but won't mind if you must

She's actually happy to give hugs, but keeps her professionalism as "Shelda" so she won't.

Comforting from her comes in words, helping you talk your problems out and figure out how to help.

If she feels bad, depending she may drop the Shelda act and just sleep out the day.

Eggabell

Accepts hugs and will give them if wanted, she's friendly like that before and after Liz's disappearance...mostly

if your down, she tries to help, for one she makes sure your not sick or injured, then will sit with you and hang out.

If she's feeling bad she'll read and ask to eb alone, but will accept a hug.

Lizbert

hugs you first, big hugger, very physical and happy.

if you manage to surprise her with a hug she picks you up and laughs.

tries her best when people are down, gives a really good motivational speech and then will chill out with everyone.

if she's down, she needs Eggabell, that's the best you can do to help.

IN conclusion......

I wrote all of this for Filbo, Wambus, and Gramble specifically, and didn't wanna leave out the others. In reality i wanted to focus on the fact that I wanna hug and cuddle Filbo and Gramble and just, Wambus is very good pick two and...

this is cringe but I am cringe and I am free I will simp for the muppets thank you very much.

[rubsjuice]

hi! who and what is the guy that made you forget greek mythology exists!

Hi, thank you for asking

(first image by @gh0stbreath second I drew over a meme)

his name is

Icarus

Also I tend to write characters more on the natural/realistic side so I hope you're not disappointed he's not a wretched fantastical beast or a dude with super cool powers he's just a guy. He could be your neighbor for all we're concerned. Read more bc I can't shut up about him

He just. Looks very normal. He's a tiny gay loser car salesman from Boston with a husband and children, negative credit score, 30k in debt and in the sights of loan sharks because he's too stubborn to get through his head that his dream of being self made and successful is never gonna be realized. He also has a penchant for religion, although he stops going to church to get more time to try to make his business work. His dream is to have a successful job, a beautiful family, and being a pillar of community – he's the guy the American Dream is marketing itself to, and the kind of guy who's most let down by it

He gets tied up in some mafia business when they put him as a front for their own business in exchange of letting his debts go and leaving his family out of it, and he promptly uses it to abandon the aforementioned family, get filthy stinking rich, invest heavily in advertising and become one of the most well-known faces in New England & the East Coast in general because his face would be in almost every ad running on TV at the time. He also had a huge liking of fashion and apparel in general so he had a bunch of clothing lines, perfumes and accessories named after him. He also developed like 5 different mental illnesses from it because by the time he was famous he was also in his 40s and he experienced the most hardcore midlife crisis ever trying to keep up with the socialites and rich kids he'd surround himself with.

Then when the mafia drops him and it turns out most of his fortune was inflated by an overcomplicated money laundering scheme he sort of starts to experience the Horrors as he starts getting increasingly desperate to keep his life afloat due to all the mental illness he's accumulated, and after a particularly bad trip on LSD where he sees every version of himself from the past and future and beats the shit out of himself he decides he needs to shape up and let this life go for his own sake. So he calls his (now ex)husband and asks to go back into his life and he goes through this whole 20 year long healing arc with a lot of therapy and finds a new and exciting gender for himself (guy who is a mom)

Some other random facts about him is that he's catty, physically fragile, lowkey slutty and loves to overindulge himself. He can be very blunt and says the most insane things. As an old man (around 60) he has a tumblr blog where he ends up being like a B-celebrity. He enjoys serious and artsy media and his favorite book/movie of all time is American Psycho. He relates to Patrick Bateman because he believes him to be the sort of guy he could turn into if he let himself stay in the rich life for longer without seeking proper help, and being able to look at that guy and go "lol glad that's not me anymore" makes him feel Normal

As you can tell if you squint, his life story more or less mirrors the tale of Icarus, with the exception of the healing arc bit (he was saved from falling in the ocean!!), plus with his whole religious theme he also gets a "fallen angel" sort of motif that fits very well. There's more stuff to his life that makes his name and theming more interesting but I don't wanna keep you here all day

Here's his playlist organized chronologically also it's full of bangers

So yeah with all these themes you can tell every time someone talks about the myth of Icarus I just go "ooooo just like my blorbo" and forget that I made him close to the myth on purpose

You can also find posts I tag as him [here]

[moonisneveralone]

I jist watched The White Lotus and here are my thots.

Spoilers obviously and Hot takes maybe. probably gonna change my mind about some of this.

So I started with Season one Yesterday and then got to season two today. OH MY LORD.

I really like it.

Overall I love analysis Relationships especially romantic ones in movies and shows so this gave me a lot to work with.

Rachel and Shane. Honey that shit was sick. Like every intrraction they had was so filled with assumptions. Like they had such different upbrigings but were so sure it was just gonna work out how each of them inagined it. I don't think I have to explain much why Shane is a dick. Pampered and Spoiled mommys boy who looks down on people with less money.

It also sucked that he very much looked down on Rachels work. However from what we can see it wasn't like Rachel was always doing her best work (which is hard when you're constantly fighting poverty) but still. Rachel also married someone who she completely disagrees with. Fundamentaly and on top of that she's deeply insecure about her position in his life. If your answer to "Why did you get married(that fast)" is to say "He's very convincing" and it's not even with a tinge of humour then that shit don't sound right to me. She married a rich asshole, but she did marry him.

Then the Mossbachers? Girl bye. There's a Theme going on there for sure. First of all the succesfull mother and the trophy husband mirrored in the Sister and Brother Dynamic.

I think it meant something here that the thing that brought then close again was a damsel in distress and knight in shining scuba Outfit Situation. I think they needed the hirachy inverrted to let go of their pride. Like all the therapy and expensive gifts didn't do it for them. It took a percieved life or death situation.

And how can I forget Kai and Paula. In my opinion everything about Paula was super performative. She didn't really care for the indigenous Hawaiians or Kai. I think somewhere she was also using Kai to get back at Olivia. She really made up that poetic Justice shit and used Kai's feelings of inadequacy to execute it. And I know she's fucked up enough to do that cause she was willingly hanging out with Olivia even though she thinks she's shitty. She also let Kai take the fall and did nothing to help with the situation, then had the audacity to show up the next day with a book about colonialism. The biggest eyeroll on that. Also she might have made the case harder to win if Kai's brothers ever did try to sue. Kai is a dumbass for even listening to her and entertaining these Ideas that someone else cooked up for him without veryfying if it's possible. Like at least have a phone on you in case something goes wrong. I'm all about Robin Hooding but not from amateurs.

My opinion is this harsh because Kai dissapeared after he ran away and it's because he was discarded narratively yes, but also explicitly by Paula.

Quinn.....ehhh.

Belinda you absolute sweetheart you deserved better, but we knew you weren't gonna get it.

Tanya....she should have helped Belinda instead of starting a thing with a guy she met days ago, because then maybe she could have survived. Listen Greg was suspicious as hell from Minute one and he was only down to fuck. Now you wanna move to where he's staying and get married. She deserved the Macarons rant....not the gay murderplot though.

Season Two my beloved.

I agree season two is less of a murder mystery but it lays out opportunities for crime better. What I mean is in season one there were a lot less possible victims while watching. This season though, there were a couple of storylines that could have ended in murder. That was fun.

I'm not sure I like the we find out who died in the finale type structure though.

It was heavily foreshadowed. Especially in the Opera. Goodness.

Portia.... Miss Maam maybe just maybe deal with your depression? Lockdown knocked all of us out, but just deal with that shit and when your boss makes you stay in your room for the whole vacation then maybe quit your job. She was an interesting succesor to thr people Tanya exploits though. Yes Tanya appears helpless and sad, but she's very selfish and cruel. I'm not suprised her Assistants stole her meds on the way out.

Fuck the Di Grasso guys. They're all the same shitty men just from different times. The fact that Bert couldn't see how he made his wife bitter maybe even to the point it killed her? And Dominic inviting a Sex Worker to stay with him in the room between his father and his son while trying to mend his relationship with his wife who is angry at him for cheating? Gooddamn. Then Albie? Fuck you. His need to prove himself better than his father and grandfather, but still wanting to be the night in shining amour to feel some type of masculine. So much so that he lied to his own mother about his fathers behaviour. Yikes.

Lucia....no notes. Why? This man hat 50.000 lying around he batted an eye, but not because it would hurt him, take his money. Fuck him and his son. Whatever.

I wanna stop writing for now....so i'll talk about the others another time.

[beachtoosandytranscripts]

2: Hotels in Kansas City, MO

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. A podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think. Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello everybody, welcome back to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, the podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. I'm Christine.

And I'm Alex.

And this week's theme is hotels in Kansas City, Missouri, or Missouri as the locals say.

And us. We're not locals.

And me after a gin and tonic. So we're gonna read our reviews, and then afterward, we're gonna see if I was able to step up to Alexander's Challenge from last week. So stay tuned.

All right. So I'm excited to see what you came up with.

We'll see. We'll see if it's any good. I had a tough time with this one.

But I did find a doozy. This is a review of the Elms Hotel and Spa in Kansas City, Missouri.

Was it like a nice place, or is this like a rundown?

I believe it's quite a nice location. And we do wanna stress again that this is not, we have no feelings for or against any of these locations. This is just some fun stuff we find on the internet and we're just rebroadcasting it.

Let's put it that way. This is a one-star review from Annette.

Went there for our 25th anniversary. As we were heading to the front desk, I noticed a plate of uncovered strawberries sitting on the floor.

By the way, really quick...

Wait, on the floor?

Really quick interjection. Every time I say strawberries, take a drink, because you're going to have a really riot of an evening if you do so. Uh-oh.

Ask about the room. They're at capacity, but gave us a breakfast coupon. He also explained that someone was on their way up to our room with our anniversary package.

OK, head to the room. Strawberries are still on the floor. Pout in my room for about 45 minutes.

Oh, OK, I need to figure this out.

So it took me a while to figure out.

So they walk into the lobby and there are strawberries on the floor. They walk into their room.

So they're walking toward their room and they find strawberries, a plate of strawberries outside of someone else's room.

Oh, and then they go inside their room and find no strawberries in their room. Am I mishearing?

OK, I'm we're heading to the front desk, I assume, from their hotel room. They notice a plate of uncovered strawberries on the floor in the hallway. So then the person and they're there for their anniversary, you know.

So then the person at the front desk says, oh, someone's going to come up with your like anniversary special surprise soon. Right. So she's like, oh, they got strawberries.

So she's like, I better get strawberries. It's the 25th. That's a strawberry anniversary.

Yes. Famously so. Um, so she pouts.

Pout in my room for about 45 minutes and decide to hit the pool. Head down to the pool. Strawberries haven't moved.

My nose starts bleeding and I have my husband grab a pool towel as I didn't want to drip in the pool. So so kind. Go to the front desk, give them my towel, letting them know I'd used it on my bloody nose.

They gave it to the clerk at the front. What are they supposed to do?

That didn't even turn into an issue. I thought that was going to be that. Yeah, that just was part of the routine.

Does it carry through the lobby? Here's my bloody towel. Yep.

My nose was bleeding. While there, I asked if we were supposed to get strawberries with our package, as they hadn't brought any up with them. He said he thought there was a mix up, but he talked to the manager.

On the way back to the room, strawberries were still there. This time, there was a piece of paper with them. So I decided to see what the paper said.

So she reads this note. It was a note thanking them for booking the anniversary package. Sit in the room a while.

Pretty disappointed. Finally, I decided to rinse the chlorine off.

And get dressed up for dinner. As we pass, the strawberries are still sitting there. I stopped by the desk to see what he found out.

He apologized and said he would personally take them to our room. At the time, I let him know about the strawberries. He thought I mentioned something because they were taunting us.

Okay, this is going very differently than what I expected. I thought it was going to be some sort of allergy thing, where she's like, oh, no, there's open strawberries. Bloody Nose made me like, oh, maybe she's like realizing she's allergic.

The Bloody Nose has nothing to do with anything. That never comes back.

I'm going to learn. But right now I'm going into these thinking that they're sensical.

And I don't know why. You're going to understand the plot.

Yeah.

No, there's no plot.

Oh, good.

He thought I mentioned something because they were taunting us. I said, no, I'm telling you, because that's disgusting.

What?

And if they were mine, I'd be pissed because they were uncovered on the floor. Which, I mean, to be fair, yeah.

I mean, I don't know the timeline, but this seems like a long time that they've been sitting there.

She's pouted for 45 minutes in the room alone.

That's right. She gave us a timeline.

He said, maybe the people didn't want them. I told him about the note I read.

Oh, no.

And he said they were training a new person, and he must have not understood where their strawberries were supposed to go. I told him that we were going out, and to put our strawberries on our desk, we came back later to find them covered on the desk. The strawberries were very good.

That's the end of the review.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Was that a one-star review? Are you kidding me?

I mean, they dealt with her bloody towel. They put covered strawberries on the desk. I don't know what the complaint is, but apparently Annette did not have a great time.

Like literally everything she wanted happened.

I mean, I think she was jealous of the neighbors.

My goodness. That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, I know. Wow, that was a long one.

Sorry, but that was a good one. You killed so many people saying strawberries so many times.

I did. Alcohol poisoning runs rampant.

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, what do you have for me here?

All right. Well, I kind of went similar route, not with the strawberries, but with a place that was kind of nice because I read some reviews of not so nice places that had mostly one star reviews. And I was like, yeah, I would give them one star too.

Yeah, it's not pretty. Hotel reviews on Yelp are not pretty, guys.

Well, that was, that was, I know many, many hotels in Kansas City to avoid. Well, I found a review of the Embassy Suites in Kansas City. From Sammy.

All right, Sammy.

Who was very disappointed.

Oh, no, Sammy.

Was very disappointed in the staff at the J Bar restaurant. We thought we would be going to an upscale restaurant slash bar, especially since the location is in an upscale area. And it is an Embassy Suite.

It is.

However, the staff all have tattoos. All over their arms. And one of the waitresses had nose, eyes and facial piercings.

She has eye piercing? All over her. She had eye piercings.

Those nose, eyes and facial piercings were all over her body. Yeah, she just put them willy nilly.

She was a Van Gogh painting.

Oh, yeah. Was very disappointed. Was hoping for the class of an embassy.

But got the staff of a low class bar.

What is wrong with people?

They just opened and we were so excited to frequent the J-Bar as we live close by. But we'll rethink. I hope they really think hard about who they hire.

Probably won't be back anytime soon.

Sammy.

End of review.

You will be missed.

Yeah, I know, right? Those staff, they're like.

Seems like he was a great customer to have.

That woman was like, he just kept staring at me and wouldn't say anything.

He was on Yelp on his phone, just like writing and counting my piercings.

This is the kind of guy that writes a review as he's sitting there being uncomfortable because somebody happens to have piercings.

And then tip zero dollars.

Well, I actually have a little bonus to that.

Thank God.

It was a response from the general manager.

Yes, what?

So they did a few paragraphs.

It's going to be a response from the woman with eye tattoos, eye piercings all over her body. But this is second best.

Yes, so they respond with a few paragraphs, but I'm just going to read the middle one. We encourage our servers to express themselves in the way they dress and their interactions with our guests.

Hell yeah.

We focus intently on a high level of service and allow our wait staff to impress our guests more with their service level and food quality. While the staff dress and appearance was an adjustment for me, I am old school. I have found that the energy level and enthusiasm that our staff has brought to the concept is exhilarating.

Oh, I know I like that.

I thought he was going to say exemplary and then he said exhilarating.

No, he's exhilarated. He's like, whoa, I've never seen that many piercings. I mean, I've only been to Kansas City once, but you know, hey, maybe he hasn't seen that many piercings in his life.

And we're a little spoiled. We get to see him all the time here in LA.

That's right. Eye piercings all over the place, truly.

Oh, yeah. Every part of the body. And we embrace it.

Eye piercings in the belly button, eye piercings on the arms, all over. Well, that was beautiful. And also, I feel vindicated on behalf of that weight staff, you know?

Yeah, no, I thought that was nice. And then they did give a little bit of an apology that they were uncomfortable. But at the end, I think the general manager said something like, we hope that you change your views.

Yeah, we hope you don't come back, but change your views.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, my God. Should we tell them about the time we went to that steak house in Kansas? Was it in Kansas City or where was it?

It might have been either Kansas City or like Omaha.

Or somewhere in Kansas. I don't think it was in Missouri. I think it was in Kansas.

We went to a steakhouse on a road trip and I was like, well, I'm in leggings. I should change out. We're going to this nice steakhouse that was on TV food maps, which is a cool website if you haven't checked it out.

Yeah, because it was on. What show was it on?

Diner's? No, that's wrong. Guy Fieri.

And Fieri had nothing to do with it.

I love me some good guy.

I'm not doing that. I don't think he does that either, does he?

No, I think that's just become a weird meme, a vocal meme. You know those. So we went to a steakhouse.

I don't remember what show had been on, but we went to the steakhouse and I was like, well, I'm in leggings. I should change. So I put on like some nice clothes and we walk in.

The first thing I see is a family wearing Mickey Mouse pajama bottoms.

No, Minnie Mouse.

Sorry, you're right. Flannel Minnie Mouse pajamas. And then our server, I mean, they were perfectly nice, but the server says, oh, I'll go get your bread basket.

And she sets down a basket full of saltine crackers on the table. And we thought, did we misunderstand? And boy, was that a culture shock.

Yeah, we were from Ohio, and even we were shocked.

Yeah, that's right.

But the food was pretty delicious.

It was good. But the bread bowl is made of crackers. So if you go there, be warned.

Yeah, Sammy, please avoid that place.

You will not feel right at home in his pajama bottoms.

I guess so.

Very wholesome, you know?

Yeah, I got a piercing is too much. But yeah, he's probably a yeah, a Disney fan.

All right, so let's move on to my challenge.

Yes, I gave you a challenge, and that was to find a review of a baseball stadium that mentioned a football team. When I thought when I was thinking about this, I was like, this seems like something that she wouldn't care about at all and wouldn't really know. It felt like a challenge.

I love sports.

I know you know, I know you're we're big Bengals.

It was a challenge. I will tell you that.

I feel like that would be a challenge.

I was kind of actually really pissed at you when I was researching this.

Oh, I figured.

Yeah, it was really fucking hard. And I was on Wikipedia looking up like cities that have MLB and NFL teams. So I could like Google the stadium and then like search the Yelp reviews for the team.

It was very complicated.

I was hoping you wouldn't take the easy way out and find a stadium that where the team is playing both. Because I think that's a thing.

Yeah, it is. And I did stumble upon that. That's not what I did, though.

And also those weren't great anyway.

So you did try to take the easy way out. I see.

Oh, I mean, I don't know why that's a shock to you, to be honest. But yes, I always try to take the easy way out. Unfortunately, I could not.

So this week, I discovered my new friend, Monty. Yeah, Monty.

This guy's something about that name. I like it. But at the same time, it sounds like the kind of guy that you don't want to read his reviews of baseball stadiums.

Oh, boy, do you. This is Monty's review of AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. Now, this is a little twist.

It is a five star review.

Oh, I did not expect which is acceptable. We allow that in the challenges.

I'm really glad we didn't like limit ourselves to only one service because I feel like some of the five stars are even fucking fantastic. Oh, no, I was going to say batshit crazy.

Oh, OK.

I guess we can go. Yeah.

I mean, for what we do, it's fantastic.

Fantastic indeed. So this is a five star review of AT&T Park, home of the San Francisco Giants. Disclaimer.

Oh, this is already Monty's.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I was going to say, is he really putting a disclaimer on my disclaimer?

The Giants are my family.

I love them. First of all, duh, garlic fries. Oh, by the way, you should imagine that every other word is all capital letters.

First of all, duh, garlic fries. For the love of God. Secondly, it's not as cold as frickin candlestick.

The location is fantastic. The upper levels have beautiful views of the bay. There's not a bad seat in the house.

Splash hits bury frickin bonds. The freak can hit shaboigans. Oh, did I say garlic fries?

What year was this from?

He needs to see a doctor.

It's like so many like things in there that that just make me think that it's like at least 20 years old as a review.

I have a headache just reading this. Wi-Fi throughout the park. The fans are not Raider loving lookers.

No, no siree.

Ding ding ding Raiders. The Coke bottle slide. It's an SF for Pete's sake.

Garlic fries.

It's a what? An FS?

It's in, it's in SF.

I thought it was FS like freaking slide like.

It's a FS, you know, a freaking slide. It's in SF for Pete's sake. Garlic fries, garlic fries, garlic fries.

Why am I even explaining this to you? Just go! Monty.

How do you, oh my gosh. Did you have any like idea of how old this man is?

Yeah, I clicked on his profile, obviously.

Of course.

He's probably in his 30s. I'm not kidding.

Okay, I expected at least 60.

Guess what? Every single one of his reviews, he reviewed a taco place, some restaurants, a bank. They're all five star reviews with a lot of, like I've never seen someone use so many exclamation points.

And then there was one, one star review.

Oh my gosh. What was it?

Home Depot.

Of all places.

And it said, if you enjoy having to look for something and having no one help you, this is the place for you.

That's it?

There was like one other line.

I mean, that seems so not Monty.

I feel like he might have been having a bad day, but if you know Monty as well as I do, you know that he's a good guy. He's a he has ups and downs, but like mostly he's up, up, up, up, way higher than everyone else.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's good. It makes up for those lows when he says that the home deep, local Home Depot wasn't great, wasn't up to his par, you know.

I have a feeling you bookmark this like his profile for future episodes because you're ready to use Monty again.

I can tell. 100 percent. He had a lot to say and a lot of it was was fucking fantastic, bad shit, crazy.

And you got to remember the Giants Air's family. So that's obviously part of it, too.

It shouldn't be. I mean, well, OK, it should be.

But it's a disclaimer. Just take it or leave it.

That was such a what I think. I don't understand that. Is that him saying he's biased because he likes the Giants?

So therefore he's automatically giving a five star reviews review like them.

He's related to them.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He loves them.

So he's biased unconditionally. But I feel like the review was about the garlic fries, not about the team at all.

I mean, I think that was his attempt at subliminal messaging. Oh, even though I, you know, it's weird.

He works for like Big Garlic or something.

You know, it's weird. I must have been hungry doing this because I just realized that strawberries and garlic fries were repeated at least 15 times each.

That's a good point.

And none of what we've talked about has had anything to do with food. We picked hotels, not even restaurants. We picked baseball and football.

Yeah, I clearly have. Oh, wait, I just realized what my next challenge is.

Oh, my goodness. You know what? I don't even know if I want to know.

Oh, my God. This is so messed up. I was clearly not in the right headspace or the best headspace.

Who knows? You want to hear your challenge?

I think first we should do a little spiel.

Do the spiel.

You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at Beach Too Sandy, on Facebook at Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. Our website is beachtoosandy.com.

You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play, wherever you listen to podcasts. And please rate, review and subscribe if you have not yet. That really helps us.

And we're looking for Monty reviews here, like five star.

Full Monty.

Go full Monty.

If you will.

Oh, man, that was good.

Thank you. I'm really funny. You know, send us your thoughts, your desires.

If you have a request for a certain topic or theme or challenge, let us know.

Yeah, let us know where you live and what kind of businesses are in the area that you have opinions about.

Your social security number, your address, all the good stuff.

Everything, everything that we deserve.

Thank you.

All right. Let's how about we announce what the theme for next week is and the challenge?

Oh, OK, sure. Do you have the OK. So who goes first?

I'll give you the theme.

Sure. What's the theme?

So the theme for next week is car washes in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

All right. I'm pumped for that.

I think that's I don't know car washes.

I feel like that's a good one because I feel like hotels, you get a lot of bedbugs. And so it's hard to sift through that car washes. You can go all sorts of directions.

Oh, yeah.

OK, you ready for your challenge?

I mean, after I gave you that one, probably not. I don't I don't deserve anything fun and good.

Probably good because this is what I have for you. This is your challenge. Please find a review of a barbecue joint written by a vegan.

Oh, my gosh.

Or how about we narrow it to the barbecue and vegans? And then if it's just so much like if you just can't find anything, then you can expand it a little bit if you want.

No.

OK. Oh, you're going to take the full challenge.

Yeah. I'm taking the full Monte.

OK, great.

All right.

All right. Thanks, guys, for listening. Episode three is out, so go check that out.

And then we're going to be releasing weekly.

Yeah, thanks, everyone.

[dreamcatcherrs]

Hey! I just had a random idea I think would work good; a first date preference seems really cool :) (I hope you haven't done this already and I've just missed it) I love your writing <3

+ it seems very very cool indeed :)) hope you like it! <3

++ if you squint, a couple of nsfw references

first dates; mcyt x reader

dream:

restaurant

when it’s your first date, he won't go all out with a very fancy place

but generally likes spoiling you

a lot

but he’ll save that for later

as long as you feel comfortable, he’s happy

maybe you’d go to his place afterwards👀

to play video games of course🙄

he’s not shy at all on your frst date

and is pretty confident in himself that the date’s gonna go great

smooth pick-up lines

maybe a couple of touches here and there

compliments you the whole night

and really just wants a laugh with you

overall, he’s great at first dates

georgenotfound:

ice skating, his place

he likes for a first date to be pretty simple

just chilling

enjoying each other’s company like you usually would

but with some romantic undertones of course ;)

so going to an ice rink or hanging out at his place;

it would be perfect

I feel like george is definitely more nervous on a first date

just because the whole “first date” concept is very intimidating in his head

even though it isn't a lot different from when you hang out usually

… it’s just with a bit more feelings involved

he’d probably ask dream for advice before going on the date with you

he eases up once he gets comfortable with your presence

realising that it’s just you and he can always be comfortable with you :)

cute first date

sapnap:

concert

nick would definitely want to go to a concert with you

I’m sure anyone can vibe with his music taste

and even then, I don't think he cares which concert you go to

the experience is what matters to him

he’d slip in some pickup-lines every now and then

but his cheeks would be so red after every line he spoke

the whole night he just wants to kiss you

but resists, just because he is a little scared of rejection

puts his jacket around your shoulders when it gets colder

and maybe wraps an arm around your waist

as you just vibe to the songs

would kiss you when he walked you home if the date was good

and then text you the second he left

very nice first date

badboyhalo:

park

would bring rat along :D

you’d find a bench or similar to rest by after walking around for a while

and just sit there together

and eat some fresh foods you’d made before going there

and just chat for hours on end

playing around with rat every now and then

and also trying out the swing set nearby

where you’d push each other

you wouldn't have noticed how much time had passed before you both realised it was super dark

it’s a really comfortable and fun date

cause he’s just so easy to talk to

he’d definitely go for some hand-holding

and aim for a little peck on the cheek

technoblade:

escape room

this would literally be the perfect opportunity to get to know each other

and to see if you were worthy of the blood god

you’d help each other find the clues

he’d definitely tease you if he managed to find the key before you did

but then would gently pat your head

cause he couldn’t deny how cute you looked when you were all pouty

a great date

with lots and lots of fun

he’s very nervous to start off with

but manages to hide it behind his monotone voice

though he likes teasing you, he’s also very sweet

sometimes let’s you find the clues “first” even though he’d already spotted them

just to see the smile on your face

wilbur soot:

museum, café

of course wilbur would take you to one of these places

or even both

the museum first, then the café

why not get a learning experience out of the date?

and then get to know each other afterwards

on a more romantic level than usual

he would be really smooth with his movements

even if he was nervous

sneakily puts a hand on your waist

or goes to grab your hand

with no hesitation or shakiness

he’d sooo be the type to say “you’ve got something right here” pointing to your lip

and when you’d searched for the whipped cream on your lip to no avail, he’d lean over and wipe the non-existing cream away

very slowly

and then have a smirk on his face when he pulled away again

honestly, a big tease even for a first date

corpse husband:

dinner and movie

pretty classy, but very nice

he’d want a first date to not be too much

but still be enough to impress

he’d be pretty anxious of what you thought of him tbh

but those were mostly just the nerves talking

would spend a long time putting effort into making the dinner

after asking you what your favourite dish was

you’d eat it together, a candle lit in the middle of the table with some wine (all on my white tee)

and you’d just start up a conversation very naturally

getting to know each other on another level

and when you’d get to watching the movie, he’d definitely attempt to get closer to you

like by throwing an arm around your shoulders

pulling you closer to him

maybe a hand on your thigh

and a small make-out session

a very successful date to say the least

skeppy:

theme park

would want to do something really fun for a first date

so I feel like a theme park would be perfect for that

like, you’d just spend the whole say together

having the time of your life in the craziest rides

or the more chill ones

whatever you like

and in between you’d just take a break

and buy some waffles or churros to eat together

zak is veeery talkative

like, there would not be any worry about awkward silences

cause he would always have something to talk about with you

as for affection

he would probably go for holding your hand

and that’s probably his farthest goal for the day

he likes taking things slow

and just having a fun time with you

karl jacobs:

arcade

like skeppy, he would also wanna go someplace fun

yet not as crazy you know?

like, just hanging out and playing a range of different games with you

you bet he’d just be like “oh, I just wanna get this one prize.”

and when he finally won it, he’d hand it over to you

because he’d planned to give it to you from the start :]

he’s mostly just himself on your first date

giggly, cute, funny

he’s a little more nervous around you than ususal

but that's only natural

would leave a lot of affection on you

like, a supporting hand on your back when you're trying to win at a game

or hugging you tightly whenever either of you won

really just finds any excuse to give you affection

maybe you’ll end off the day with a little smooch😙

or spending the rest of the night playing video games at his or your place

fundy:

sight-seeing

he’d take you to so many buildings, statues, viewpoints etc.

he wants to explore the city with you

even if you both know it very well already

he’d want the memories of the sights to be with you

you’d take cute pre-couple photos by the sights

and grab some delicious lunch while sat right by one of the nicest sights

he’d be subtle with showing affection

like grabbing your hand when you’re about to go the wrong way

and then not let go of it for a while

or he’d let you borrow his sunglasses

to block out the sun in your face

he wouldn't lay heavy on showing affection on the first date

he’ll leave that for the second one ;)

quackity:

cooking together

chaotic but cute combo

I feel like he would really want to impress you

yet still be able to make you laugh

and this is just the perfect way to do just that

he’s surprisingly good at cooking when he tries

and remains his usual quackity alex funny self

he’d show you how to do different stuff

especially if you didn't know how to already

and would overall be very playful with you

throwing flour at you, splashing with water etc.

and then afterwards you would just chill on the couch and eat the dinner you’d just made

talking about the most random shit

and without realising it, the two of you would be cuddling

and you’d wake up in the morning to find you’d fallen asleep on each other🥺

punz:

laser tag

mans loves competition

and would definitely want to be a show-off to you

you'd have an room just for yourself

hiding behind walls and obstacles until you stumbled into each other

and he wouldn't hesitate to raise his laser gun at you

and shoot you right in the chest with a menacing laugh

after a while it’d just be a battle between two

tackling each other all the time

and at some point he’d have you up against the wall

and as you were about to kiss

you’d lift you gun at him and shoot him right in the chest

which won you the game

afterwards, he’d follow you home

and maybe give you that kiss he tried to give you before

he’d be very down to stay with you for the night if you wanted him to

awesamdude:

the beach

you’d bring a bunch of fun activities with you

like card games, a beach volley game, etc.

and maybe even join in on a game of mini golf near you

you could also just be chilling on your towels

under the sun or under the shade

whatever your preference is

and then go into the water eventually

playing around together and just having fun

splashing water at each other

he’d sneak his way over to you

and just lift you up from under the water and onto his shoudlers

just laughing at the way you were screaming for him to let you down

when you got on the shore again, it felt easier to be affectionate with each other

you’d definitely go for ice cream on the way home

holding hands👉👈

eret:

karaoke bar

it would literally be the funniest time with him

you’d gotten one of those private rooms

so it would just be the two of you in the room

and you’d have so much fun choosing your favourite songs

and sometimes you'd just sit there and chat

while karaoke music played in the background with none of you singing

he’d want to duet with you at some point

bringing you close to him just to see you get all flustered

I could definitely imagine a first kiss right then

if it had all gone right throughout the night

when you were on your way back home

he’d lend you his jacket

and just tell you to keep it

“I’ll just pick it up tomorrow.”

tommy:

the zoo

tommy would be walking around commenting on literally every animal

“y/n look. hey, y/n. look at this ones’ face.”

takes a lot of pictures of the animals

and of you with the animals

and when you suspiciously asked if he was taking pictures of you after you’d spotted him

he’d just brush it off, immediately hiding his phone away

“of you? obviously, it was of the giraffe behind you.”

“tommy, there is no giraffe behind me.”

doesn't show any affection

he’s super nervous about the whole “touch” thing

so he just stays away from it

but if you were to grab his hand

he wouldn't pull away

he’d just stand there with red ass fucking cheeks

and would be praying for the animals to save him from any awkward situations

tubbo:

picnic

you’d be picking flowers together

flowers for the flower boy :)

and even make flower crowns if you felt really creative

enjoying the delicious foods you'd brought with you

he’d also be quite intimidated by affection, like tommy

but would very very subtly show it

only a little bit though

like, it would be pretty obvious whenever he got caught up staring at you

just looking at you as you picked at the grass outside of the blanket you were sat on

and sometimes he’d place a hand on you without really realising that that was something more unusual than you were used to

you’d bring a bracelet kit

and make cute little matching bracelets for each other

a really enjoyable date overall

with lots of laughter and chatter

ranboo:

an aquarium

even though c!ranboo is clearly not the biggest fan of water

this ranboo finds it quite fascinating

a pretty chill and easy-going first date

exactly what he wants

you’d walk around the whole aquarium

and make fun of the fishes with funny-looking faces

and then proceed to take pictures of each other by the fishes with the funny-looking faces

he would find it so adorable whenever you would point at one of the sea-creatures

and just look so amazed by it

he would literally almost melt right beside you

the closest thing to affection he would do, is putting a hand on your waist

it doesn't really progress further than that unless you initiate it

a proud moment of his was when he almost fell into the penguin inclosure

and you couldn’t stop laughing at it

a successful date to his eyes

___________________________________

tag list✰

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[hanazuma-inactive]

Hello! This is kind of a long request and well- Hopefully you’re fine with doing temporary Body Swap. :>

So basically Bakugou and his Male S/O are pro heroes and when out on a mission, they both get hit by a villain who has a swap quirk. Basically, they just swapped bodies. (Y/n is in Bakugou’s body and Bakugou is in Y/n’s body, they basically just switched minds.) They are told by the other pro heroes that the two should go home and take the day off. Unfortunately, nobody knows how long the quirk effect will stay, but they were convinced it was only temporary. So the two go back to their shared apartment and the day goes on pretty normal- besides the fact that, you know, they’ve swapped bodies. Though later Y/n gets a bit of an idea. What if he were to f*ck Bakugou in this body? The thought seemed kinda strange at first since he would literally be f*cking his own body, but he couldn’t deny that the thought was turning him on. Especially wanting to see Bakugou’s reaction. So, he basically handcuffs Bakugou to prevent him from struggling and.. while in the middle of doing it, something happens.. Shit! Why did it have to happen now?? Y/n panics in his head as he realizes they just swapped bodies again, and he is now at the mercy of Bakugou Katsuki himself..

I actually sent a request kinda similar to this to someone else but it was a while ago and they haven’t responded so they may not have liked it, or it just didn’t arrive. And sorry for choosing Bakugou again, you just may be able to figure out who my favorite character is.. Sorry for my rambling.

If you don’t wanna do it, that’s fine. Anyways, have a good day/night, man!

in his shoes (nsfw) bakugou x reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: body swapping during sex, bottom and top reader+bakugou, selfcest (?), degrading, bratty behavior, claimming and possesive themes, bondage (handcuffs)

a/n: i really like this concept and i will write it don't worry 😎👍 i usually write all of my requests anyways. im also sorry this took literally 5 years.

_____

katsuki bakugou and y/n bakugou. the two of you have been married for 2 years now after you guys started working as heroes. you both went to UA and graduated at the top of the class. neither of you had time for love or romance resulting in neither of you confessing you feelings for each other. gladly, things managed to work out in the end.

"he's on it again, i need the bakugous here right now."

hearing the police force requesting your assistance, you and your husband show up on the case. it turned out to be the villain that the two of you couldn't capture the last time during patrol. 

"HEH?! look y/n, it's this motherfucker again. what's up with this loser, coming back every time it's annoying." 

"play nice now katsuki, let's just go and restrain him and let the police take care of the rest."

the two of you move quickly to match the villain's rapid movements. katsuki flew around using his quirk to attempt to catch him but failed. the villain was surprisingly agile and you guys had a tough time trying to chase him down. 

after around half an hour of chasing you finally cornered the villain on top of a tall building in the middle of the city that was still in construction. the ground was hard to walk on and somewhat unstable but you managed to find your balance. 

"alright, give it up, you've got nowhere to run now. 

"what he said, stop resisting and i won't blow your face off."

the villain's expression turned to fear as you started to close up on him. out of panic, he used his quirk. it was a small beam that didn't hurt at all. however, after a few seconds your body started to heat up, you looked over to katsuki and you could tell he was feeling the same. what was happening?

seeing the two of you struggling, the villain quickly left the scene but he had trouble moving around due to his surroundings. his movements were also somewhat impaired due to fatigue. it was most likely the aftereffect of his quirk which was why he was pretty reluctant in using it. 

the strange feeling in your chest wouldn't go away and your vision started to blur. next thing you know you woke up on top of the same building to see yourself lying next to you. was his quirk duplication? no it couldn't have been. you tried to stand up but felt the weight of some heavy armor dragging you down. you look down to see yourself wearing katsuki's hero costume and his gauntlet. still in awe, you heard a groan in your own voice next to you. 

"shit… wtf happened, y/n where are you where-" 

it didn't take long for your husband to find out what happened. 

the two of you have switched bodies.

you both tried to explain to the police who's who but it only ended in confusion. you went home with your husband after they put the two of you on break for "damaged mental" from the villain because the majority of the police thought you guys were crazy. 

there weren't any cases similar to body switching between heros before so the doctor said there's nothing that can be done other than attempting to wait off the effect. so there you were, in your husband's body, cooking dinner for the man while you saw your own body lazily sitting on the couch with your legs spread open watching the tv. 

life went as normal for the next two days, since you two were both males there weren't any problems whatsoever. however, one day a thought flew into your mind while taking a nap with katsuki. since he was the one who would usually top, now that you're in his body wouldn't it technically mean you get to top? 

physically you would be using your boyfriend's body to fuck yourself. but the thought of the all mighty bakugou katsuki taking his own dick, his bratty attitude, and lastly breaking him and making him fall apart by your touch aroused you in an indescribable way. you knew katsuki wouldn't agree to this due to his prideful personality so you had to take other measures to carry out your plan. 

you and kastuki had all sorts of toys laying around and you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine with them. while he wasn't looking you grabbed the vibrator, handcuffs, and blindfolds and put them all on the nightstand. now that everything is in place, all you have to do is wait to catch katsuki off guard tonight when he gets tired.

later tonight, after finishing dinner, katsuki was yet again sitting casually again on the couch watching tv, not giving a single care to the world. 

"heyy katsuki!"

"hm? yah?" 

"come with me for a second? i want to show you something!" you said with a sly grin on your face

katsuki didn't care enough to talk back, neither did he think this could lead to the ill intentions you had with him tonight. following you into the bedroom, you gestured katsuki to sit down on the bed. he obeyed although he began to have a suspicion of what you're about to do. using your new body, you abused katsuki's strong muscle and speed to restrain your own body with the handcuffs you prepare. there was no way for katuski to fight back in this situation because your body was simply not built enough to resist his. 

"h-huh? what are you doing dumbass…if you're joking s-stop it now, it's not funny." 

"oh i am very serious katsuki, now that i'm inside your body. i am going to fuck your brains out. i'm gonna thrust that bratty attitude of yours right out the window." 

hearing you say that, your husband looked away to avert his eyes while you heard a small gulp coming from his throat. you could tell he was nervous and that's exactly what you wanted. katsuki has never bottomed in his life before and he does plan on doing so either. 

finally having katsuki in your grasp, you decided to carry on with your plan. you put on the blindfold for him as he jolted in surprise. katsuki tried to get out of the handcuffs but later found his attempt futile. these were the toys he used for you too and he out of everyone should know it's impossible to get out of them. once your husband stopped moving you gentlt took off his pants, leaving him exposed wearing only your boxers with an erection under it.

"aww katsuki~ already hard and i haven't even done anything yet, maybe you're better off being the bottom hm?" you teased 

"s-shut up you shit head, just get on with it, whatever evil plan you have in store for tonight…"

"no need to rush katsuki" you said as you entered his asshole with 2 of your fingers, loosening him up for the vibrator. 

"we have the entire night."

you heard your own voice whimper as you explored more with your fingers. soon enough it was time to put the other toy in. your fingers left for a bit preparing the vibrator, leaving bakugou panting from the pleasure and clenching his hole around well, nothing. you turned on the vibrator and katsuki immediately noticed the familiar sound of what's in your hands. 

"o-oi y/n, don't put it in here, i-i won't be able to take it." 

"oh i'm sure you can~ you made me do it plenty of times, why can't the big and strong bakugou katsuki do it?"

without mercy, you put in the vibrator quickly and let the show play out. katsuki was moaning and groaning while you stroked your own cock enjoying the view. katuski's cock was bigger than yours and you weren't used to jacking off such a big dick but it was a nice first.

seeing a wet spot forming on katsuki's underwear, you knew he was ready to go. you took off katsuki's underwear to see the precum leaking from it, so much it looked like he was about to cum any second now. next, you took out the vibrator and started to spread some lube on your cock. you positioned yourself on top of the katsuki and teased his pink hole with your huge cock. 

"what do good boys say katsuki~?" 

"tch! i'm not saying it, y-you sadistic fuck."

you slapped katsuki's ass so loud that the neighbors probably could've heard you.

"i'm the one in control right now, you listen to what i say, understood?"

"f-fine, jesus christ! p-please y/n, put it inside me…" 

"that's a good boy…" 

after you fit ¾ of your cock in katsuki was already panting heavily trying to catch his breath. it reached his prostate you leaned down on his chest to bite on his nipples to make him feel even better. his hole clenched on your hole so tight you were barely able to move your cock around. you continued to make thrusts and sped them up each time. 

during your thrusts you suddenly felt the weird feeling when fighting the villain again. both you and bakugou's body started to burn up but it wasn't as painful as it was last time. next thing you know everything was pitch black. you felt a piece of black cloth on top of your eyes and a familiar size inside your ass. it didn't take you long to realize that you and bakugou finally switched back. 

you were glad to be back in your own body but why did it have to happen now?! out of all the times it could've happened this was no doubt the worst possible timing. you just teased the crap out of bakugou and now that he's in control again he can take his revenge right here, right now.

"oh? would you look at that…our bodies switched back…" you couldn't see katsuki say this but you could already tell the evil smile on his face. 

"k-katsuki i'm sorry, i didn't mean to tease you that hard i was just trying to have some fun y-y'know." you desperately tried to explain. 

"too late now baby boy… bad boys get punished for what they did. now… get ready, for the night of your fucking life." 

regret, nothing but regret. bakugou was already an aggressive person when it comes to sex, now that you pissed him off even more you weren't prepared for what he was about to do to you. 

without warning, katsuki pulled back his hips and thrusted into you harder than ever. you took his entire length right away and the full feeling in your ass was too overwhelming for you to handle. you started to blabber nonsense, unable to form words due to the pleasure. 

"c'mon baby… gotta speak up if you want me to understand you." bakugou said knowing damn well you can't talk back. 

incoherent moans and groans escaped from your mouth as you felt dry orgasms again and again from katsuki reaching your prostate. you were on the verge of passing out till you saw your husband's panting just as hard as you. you could tell he was very close as well. you tried your best to stay conscious and cum with your husbands. 

katsuki let out a loud moan as he cummed inside you. you reached your orgasm too cumming all over yourself. katsuki licked up the cum on your stomach as you slipped into sweet unconsciousness. he gave you a warm smile and patted your head as he took you into his arms and fell asleep with you. 

[elysiadjarin]

Day 3: Dacryphilia

Jesse Cromeans may be a ruthless killer, but at home with you? You’re the one in charge. And especially those days when you’re annoyed at how long he’s been gone and he comes back so desperate for your attention… well. You did so like to see him cry.

Day 3 of Kinktober has arrived! I actually think I discovered some things about myself writing this one, so y’all enjoy. 😂 Find my Kinktober Masterlist here.

Warnings: Minors DNI, this is 18+ content only. This one is a slasher x reader fic, so please beware of mentions of murder and assault as part of the territory, though nothing is explicitly mentioned. PinV unprotected sex, dacryphilia, desperation, cumplay.

Tags: Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull) x reader, slasher x reader, yandere!reader, soft femdom, sub/dom themes

Paint Splatters over Canvas

It was rather funny, really.

You scrolled through your phone, ignoring the giant man standing in the doorway of the room staring at you. Jesse had always made a point of never touching you without your permission. A way for him to separate the meaningless victims of his murderous hobby with you, his wife, his everything. And while of course your relationship stayed perfectly strong, you well aware of his hobby and he well aware of your own tendencies… it did sometimes backfire on him in the best worst ways.

Like now. When you were annoyed with him because he’d been gone an entire day later than he’d promised, extra dark web cash be damned. A promise was a promise, and it wasn’t as though he’d needed the money. He did have a perfectly legal and highly successful business, after all. So shouldn’t you have come first?

You liked revenge cold, playing the long game; something you had in common with Jesse. And today, you certainly had plans put in place for said revenge. Which, for the time being, meant ignoring Jesse. You had plenty to occupy you, from communications for the business to just working on your own projects. Still, you’d made sure to be just nonchalant enough to let him know that it was all so… deliberate.

Jesse shuffled in the doorway, clearly wanting your attention but knowing better than to think any sort of demanding would get him anywhere. He’d learned the hard way that at home, his power over subordinates decidedly did not apply to you. When you didn’t give him any response, he hovered for a moment, clearly trying to decide on what to do next.

You knew how he would get after a mission. Needy. Wanting. Starved for attention and affection from you. Pent up for days, probably thinking about you every spare moment between takes.

With a hum, you typed out a message on your phone before standing and heading for the doorway. You briefly looked up to see him as you brushed past in the doorway. “Oh, hi, Jesse,” you said, giving him a brief, distracted smile. “I’m off to get ready for a meeting with a client.” You headed for the bedroom, already thinking about your next steps.

You could hear him following behind you, could almost feel the mounting despair as he started to realized what was happening. Why you had used his name instead of the usual love, darling. His shoulders hunched, and you could see his face twist as he clearly tried to think of what to do. He already knew that you’d have your revenge however you wanted: apologies would be expected but certainly wouldn’t get him any closer to mercy.

Walking into the bedroom, you headed straight for the bathroom to start preparing. Jesse still trailed along behind you like a forlorn, helpless puppy, and you swore you could almost hear him let out a small whine. Pausing for a moment in front of your vanity, you dialed your friend’s number and set it to speaker, putting it down on the countertop and sitting in front of the mirror.

You tied your hair up and reached for your cosmetics, beginning the process as the phone dialed. Your friend picked up quickly, already in on your plan thanks to your texting. She always approved of your payback plans.

Bestie! I thought you said you had to prepare for the meeting? I mean, yknow, not that I don’t like hearing from you. She cheerfully teased over the phone.

You smiled. “Well yeah, I just sat down to do my makeup. But I mean, we did say we were going to talk about the party for little Jacen this weekend, and what better time than now? You can help me pick out an outfit once I’m done,” you cajoled, noticing how Jesse sat on the edge of the jacuzzi bathtub, unabashedly staring at you. He always had loved watching you get ready for an event. Not that you minded.

Fair enough. Your best friend admitted readily. But seriously, you didn’t have to go all out for Jacen like this. She half scolded. It’s so much!

You laughed lightly, the creamy foundation smoothing across your skin. “Oh c’mon, he’s my adorable little nephew in all but name. He deserves to get spoiled by his doting Aunt, let me have my fun,” you wheedled, knowing she would cave.

She sighed over the receiver. I swear, girl, you could convince anyone into anything.

“Or maybe I’m just your weakness, Miss Mara,” you teased back. The soft brush in your fingers blended the contour onto your face, and you smiled as you glanced at the phone. “But anyway, did you manage to figure out what he might want for a birthday present? Or are we going with my original idea to let him loose in a mall?”

Oh, no, you are so not buying him everything he points at. I’d never get him to not be a spoiled brat if I let you.Mara snorted. I’ll text you what I figured out, he seems to be pretty fixated on it right now.

“Ugh, fineeee,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. “But I’m going to at least get him that adorable motorized scooter I showed you before. He’s going to look so cute riding around in it.”

Fair enough I suppose. Better than the mall idea— wait, did you just get me to agree to something extravagant by threatening something so ridiculous—

“Anyway,” you interrupted blithely, “did you send out invitations to everyone?”

Yep, and I got back all the RSVPs. Speaking of which, I thought you said that you were meeting with the CEO of some business tonight? What’s that all about? I know you, you normally don’t like dealing with people.

You sighed. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag a little.” You pouted, reaching for the eyeshadow and liner. “Jesse was supposed to be back yesterday, but since he wasn’t I had to reschedule, and I promised to personally meet with the CEO in order to smooth over ruffled feathers. But besides that… I wanted to be there personally to see my best friend and her husband’s house finally paid off for their fifth anniversary.”

A pause. Then a screech that made you grin. You’re not serious! Babes, no, wait—

“No use protesting!” You said cheerfully, waving your brush. “It’s already been practically settled. Besides, you both need to start saving up for Jacen’s college funds. We did have the agreement that I’d open the doors to whatever college he wanted instead of just paying for it,” you reminded.

Ugh, I don’t know if I want to smack you or hug you, you sly little— Mara groaned. Wait till I tell Damien, he won’t know what hit him. She laughed. Thank you. You know how much it means to us. I won’t scold.

“Good.” You nodded. “And you know I’ll take care of you.”

She sighed. Never doubted it. So, how’s the process?

You hummed, pursing your lips as you finished the eyeshadow and grabbed the mascara. “About to do mascara, then all I have left is the lipstick. But shouldn’t I wait till we pick a dress before I actually pick a color?”

Probably. What’s the mood? You going for boss ass bitch, sultry Queen, or mysterious vampire lady? Amusement laced Mara’s voice.

“You’re not even in my house and yet you walked in and called me out to my face,” you said dryly, earning laughter. Jesse, you saw in the mirror, tilted his head with a small smile playing over his lips. He’d quietly observed the whole processes, eyes fixed on your face.

Only cause I love you. So, show me the closet, girl! Oh, show me your makeup first tho so we got reference.

You picked up the phone as you finished, turning on the camera so she could see your makeup sans the lipstick. She whistled, eyebrows wriggling teasingly as she grinned.

Oh, so mysterious vampire queen it is. She smirked. Closet. Though I do have the feeling that we’re going to be choosing a gorgeous red lipstick.

“Yes ma’am,” you answered, standing and heading for your closet. You heard Jesse stand and follow behind you, and stifled a smile. Flipping the camera, you started to flip through the racks of dresses. “Does that mean we’re leaning towards a black dress?”

Hmm, probably. Actually, how about one of your sleek black ones? The one with like, barely any frills and only a tiny bit of lace at the top. Off the shoulder. If you’re gonna try to assert dominance, probably drawing attention to your mouth and hands is the best way to go.

You tilted your head at the hangers, then nodded. “You’re right. Especially if I go for the red lipstick. I could also honestly use a glass of wine during that meeting,” you sighed.

Mara snickered. Blood in a wine glass? How stereotypical of you, madame.

“You hush, drama queen,” you said dryly, finding the dress she’d described and pulling it out.

Ooh, that’s the one! And I know you have that one crimson shade of lipstick that I always say looks vampiric.

You went back to the vanity and set the phone down, pretending to not notice that it showed Jesse standing in the doorway, clearly staring at you. You slid your shirt off, careful not to smudge any makeup, then slipped out of your pants and reached for the dress. Smoothing it over your front to get rid of any wrinkles, you sat back down and tilted the camera back to yourself, reaching for the lipstick.

“This one, right?” You waved it in front of your face.

Yep! That dress is stunning, by the way. Oh, and what are you doing with your hair?

“Ugh, I don’t really wanna bother too much with it, so I figured I’d go with the… messy, loose waves.” You shrugged, applying the lipstick.

Mara snorted. I think you mean, ‘sorry I’m late I was doing things’ while ignoring Jesse staggering behind you clearly radiating ‘I’m things’ energy.

You half-choked, laughing despite yourself. “Mara-! Seriously!”

She rolled her eyes at you. I’m just saying it like it is. But you go girlie, you look bomb. She laughed. Blow them all away. Be the boss bitch you are. A noise in the background interrupted her. Oop, that’s my cue. I gotta go, text me though okay?

“Will do, tell Damien and Jacen hi for me.” You smiled and hung up, finishing fluffing your hair. Standing, you grabbed the phone and headed for the door. “The meeting is in five minutes,” you remarked to Jesse as you passed him in the doorway. “If you want to join.”

You saw him type on his phone, the text to speech translator sounding a moment later. May I be there with you?

You flashed him a warm smile, as though you weren’t at all deliberately enacting revenge. “Of course! I’d love to have you there. Let’s go.” With a little hum, you headed towards the stairs.

Your phone pinged with a message. Girl, I swear he was drooling. You’re so mean sometimes. Not that he didn’t deserve it.

You suppressed a laugh, replying with one hand as your other slid down the bannister to guide you down the staircase. You know it. Mission so far successful. Wish me luck, I’m about to go into this meeting.

You looked up as you got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing an assistant waiting with the guest. The assistant bowed politely. “May I introduce Mr. Trace, CEO of Finley Bank.”

Giving the assistant a nod, you turned to Mr. Trace. “Greetings, Mr. Trace. Welcome! Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I do apologize for the delay,” you said, taking charge and sweeping towards the parlor.

He followed after automatically. “Of course, Mrs. Cromeans,” he answered, quickly recovering from his moment of bewilderment.

You motioned to a chair, sitting on the velvet couch across the coffee table. “Please, please, have a seat,” you said, keeping the easy smile on your face. “Can I get you a drink? Anything at all?”

He blinked, sitting down and setting his briefcase next to him. “Ah— thank you. I’d appreciate a scotch on the rocks if it’s available.”

“Of course,” you said easily, nodding to the maid standing nearby. “A red wine for me, please.” You smiled at Jesse as he sat next to you. “Your regular?” you asked sweetly. At his nod, you turned back to the maid. “And a glass of dry white.”

She bowed and went to go fetch the drinks.

“I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do, Mr. Trace,” you said smoothly, “so I’ll not take any more of your time than necessary. Of course, as I said, I’d like to discuss several things with you…”

Twenty minutes later found you leaning against the arm of the couch, feet propped up beside you as you swirled the last dregs of the red wine, tapping the glass with your fingernails. The CEO had long since emptied his scotch, and Jesse was on his second glass. His fingers kept clenching around the flute of his glass every time your feet brushed against his thigh.

“Of course,” Trace said with a nod, jotting down the final notes on the paperwork. “Easily managed. Are there any other details you would like to add or anything else to discuss?” He looked up at you.

Your tactics of firm politeness and the scotch seemed to have worked their charm, and you’d been able to rather easily dominate the flow of the interaction. Not to mention, Mara had been right about appearances clearly setting a tone. Trace seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact with either you or Jesse.

“Not at all, Mr. Trace,” you said, a pleased note in your voice. “I’m rather pleased at how everything has turned out. We do so value your business, you know.” You tilted the glass in your fingers. “Shall I sign the papers?”

“At your leisure.” He slid them across the table toward you.

You slowly uncurled yourself like a lazy feline, straightening yourself and leaning over to set the glass down on the table. Grasping the pen, you slowly signed your name on the papers, eyes glancing over the print to ascertain that everything was in order. Shuffling through the papers, you finally set the pen down.

Trace took them back, glancing through them before nodding. “Everything seems to be in order.” He slid them back into his briefcase. “Thank you as always for your business, Mrs. Cromeans, Mr. Cromeans.”

You nodded, and Jesse stood, setting his glass down. You rose as well, sliding your arm into the crook of his elbow as he automatically adjusted for you. “And thank you for your help, Mr. Trace,” you answered easily. “I do hope you have a productive rest of the day. Do be safe out there.”

He nodded as the assistant returned to escort him out. “Same to you.”

With a hum, you absently patted Jesse’s arm and let yours slide out of his grasp, drifting towards the stairs again. “Oh, I need to go tell Mara it’s all confirmed. Besides, this dress is only comfortable for so long,” you remarked, pulling out your phone again.

Guess who completely owns their house now? You texted Mara, smiling. And your tactics worked, I think dominance was asserted.

You waltzed into the bedroom, headed straight for the closet. “Jesse, are you hungry? I think the food I ordered should have arrived by now, it should be in front of the TV. Maybe pick a movie? I still have a few messages to send.”

You changed into a comfortable black babydoll nightdress, sighing in relief as the silk slid over your skin. It was far more comfortable, and you could feel yourself finally starting to relax after the pent-up tension of the meeting. You really did hate dealing with people, especially ones like the CEO.

Your phone buzzed as you went to go pick it back up. You are literally the best. Now go finish seducing Jesse while I go figure out how to make this news sexy.

Stifling a snort, you went to go wipe your makeup off and wash your face. You could hear the sounds of the TV starting in the bedroom, so you took one more glance in the mirror before heading out into the room, still tapping at your phone. You still had to finish some arrangements for Jacen’s birthday, after all, and your revenge was still percolating.

Jesse’s head turned as soon as you approached the couch in front of the TV. You ignored the way he froze, sliding onto the couch and tucking your feet under a soft blanket. Sending off another message, you set it beside you and reached forward to grab a tray, pulling it into your lap.

“I figured you might not want anything too heavy since you just got back, so I kinda just made a guess and ended up ordering too much…” You frowned at the myriad of food laid out over the table. “Sorry, Jesse… I don’t even know if this is what you want—“

The text to speech cut you off. The food is fine, thank you. I’m sorry for being late. I know I can only make excuses, but I am sorry. Can I make it up to you?

A frown touched your lips as you picked up your spoon, still not looking at him. Your fingernails tapped against the screen of your phone. “Jacen asked the other day if Uncle Jesse would be at his party. I told him I didn’t know, but I’d ask.”

He quickly typed. Of course, if he asked for me, I’ll be sure to be there. His fingers paused, then he slowly typed again, as though hesitating. I got you a present while I was gone.

You hummed, swallowing your food and picking your phone back up. “He’ll be happy to hear it. And thank you for the present.” You sent a message to tell Mara that Jacen’s wish had been granted.

Jesse practically fidgeted as he ate, the movie playing in the background. You could feel his eyes slide from the screen to you, could almost hear the wheels in his head frantically turning. The tension in every line of his body was obvious, his movements stilted and jerky. He practically twitched every time you so much as moved.

Finally, you set down the tray, grabbing a mint to refresh your mouth. Shifting to get more comfortable, you angled yourself towards him a little more. You snitched a piece of food from his plate, letting out a hum as you smiled down at Mara’s message. If possible, Jesse stiffened even more, his fingers clenching so hard around his spoon that it even bent a little in his grasp.

A crumb fell from your fingers onto the lace edge of your nightgown, and you let out a quiet noise of protest as you looked down. Your fingers brushed against the top of your breast, brushing off the crumb. Sticking your finger in your mouth, you typed out a message in response to another conversation. With a sigh, you looked up and glanced over Jesse’s shoulder to see the lamp on the table next to him. Night had fallen, and shadows fell over the room.

Stirring yourself, you sat up, setting your phone down for a moment. “Can I turn on the lamp? I don’t wanna get up for the lights,” you said, starting to lean across him. Almost thoughtlessly, you placed your hand on his thigh and put your weight on it, reaching over his body on your hands and knees to pull at the cord on the lamp. The light clicked on, just as a low keening sound came from Jesse.

Your head tilted at the sound, and you turned to look up at his face. It was your turn to freeze.

Jesse’s face had crumpled, his soft green eyes literally awash with tears. His hands were clenched at his sides, his chest heaving with hitching breaths as he struggled to control his expression. The tears welled in his eyes, and faint color had splashed across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

Slowly, a smile crossed your lips as you stared up at his face. Leaning back, you tilted your head, licking your lips. “Oh, look at you,” you breathed. “You made all the little piggies cry, Jesse. But maybe it’s your turn, hmm?” Your eyes flickered down to the way his entire body trembled, every muscle taut and strained.

You moved, sliding your entire body into his lap to straddle his waist and face him. Crossing your arms under your chest, you stared into his face. “I don’t know… you broke your promise, though.” Your eyebrow raised at him, and he let out another hoarse whimper. Tears slid down his cheeks, his mouth opening for shuddering breaths.

He shook his head, lips trembling as he lifted one hand and signed. Sorry. Please. Sorry. His fingers spelled out your name.

Reaching up, you cupped his face in your hands. You leaned up, face drawing closer to his. “But I already accepted your apology, love,” you cooed, smiling. “You know what I think?” You slowly dragged your tongue across his tear tracks, your body flushing with heat at the taste of the bitter salt. “I think,” you murmured against his jaw, “that I like seeing you cry.”

Jesse’s breath hitched on a sob, more tears spilling down his cheeks. It was fairly intoxicating, seeing the giant man completely fall apart under you, trapped between his desperation and his personal standards. When you slid forward, your body pressing flush against him, another sob wrenched from his gritted teeth.

You decided for the moment to have a bit of mercy. Reaching down, you grasped his wrists and lifted his hands to your waist. His fingers instantly clenched in the silk babydoll dress, shaking as he grabbed at your waist. His entire body lurched forwards towards you, eyes fixed on your face.

You hummed softly, brushing a kiss to his jaw. “Your eyes are so pretty when they’re filled with tears, Jesse,” you purred, drawing his face closer to you. Still, you refused to kiss him, instead trailing your lips down his jaw, down to his throat. You opened your mouth against his neck, savoring the taste of his skin and the soft scent of his cologne.

Jesse’s trembling fingers jerked against your waist, and he slumped into you. His hands slid over your waist to your lower back, his touch practically reverent as he squeezed. His breaths came quick and fast, breaking occasionally on a sob. Every time you suckled or moved your lips, every time your hands slid down his shoulders, he gasped and shuddered, more tears dripping down his cheeks.

You slid your hands down, starting to unbutton his shirt. Your tongue dragged across his neck, and you felt the bulge in his pants throb against your thigh. “Isn’t this punishment fair, darling?” you cooed. “I only ask for a few tears, hmm? A front row seat to your pretty eyes?”

His head jerked, even though it wrenched another tortured sob from him. Despite the contact, you could feel his frustration mounting.

You pulled back, looking up at him as you finished unbuttoning his shirt. “Oh, you don’t think so?” Your fingers slid across his bared chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin. “But isn’t this what you wanted? Me, paying attention to you?”

His gasps had turned ragged. His hips jerked, rutting up against your thigh. A strangled noise left his throat, his eyes squeezing shut. His grip on your waist threatened to leave fingerprints against your skin.

“No?” You bit your lip, raking your nails lightly against his chest. “Then what is it you want, hmm?”

His eyes flickered down to your lips, unconsciously licking his own. His fingers clenching, he pulled you down to grind against his cock, straining in his trousers. Pants fell from his mouth, and he kept glancing from your eyes to your lips.

You reached down, teasingly trailing your fingers down his chest and stomach. Unzipping his trousers, you looked up at his face and smiled as you traced one fingertip down the bulge in his underwear. His eyes fairly rolled back in his head, more tears streaming down his face afresh.

“Look at you, already such a mess,” you murmured, sliding your fingers into his underwear. The moment you wrapped a hand around his cock and slid up, you were rewarded with a guttural groan. He gritted his teeth, clearly struggling to stay still. With a soft laugh, you leaned up and brushed a kiss to his ear.

You tugged at his collar. “Why don’t you lie down for me?” you murmured.

He immediately complied, his hands still clamped around your waist as he turned and shifted up, lying down on the couch. He stared up at you, face still twisted in agony and desperation.

Lifting yourself a little, you tilted your head at him. “Take your pants off for me?”

He practically kicked his pants and underwear off in his haste. You guided one of his hands to the latch on the side of your own panties, giving him an amused smile and nod. His trembling fingers unlatched them, his chest heaving as he watched the black silk slide away from your skin. The moment you lowered back down onto him, his cock throbbed against you and his back arched.

Leaning forward, you hummed a pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Jesse, love,” you murmured. “Cry for me a little more?” You cupped his face in your hands, feeling your wetness coat his own length as you ground against his tip. But you deliberately kept shifting, not giving him any steady pressure.

Another broken whine came from him, and a few more tears slipped down his cheeks. Frustration scrunched his face, his neck mottled with red and flushing down to his shoulders and chest, making your white nail marks stand out. His hips jerked, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment.

“Is this what you want?” You pressed down against him again, feeling his cock slip against your wet folds teasingly.

His head jerked in a nod, almost violently. Tremors kept running through his arms, his body occasionally shuddering under you.

You leaned down and sucked his lower lip between yours. Your teeth nipped at his lip, and you finally slanted your mouth over his. Tears poured afresh down his cheeks as he desperately pulled at you, trying to get closer, kiss you more. You relented and let him, thumbs brushing against his jaw as you hummed softly into his frantic, pleading kisses. Without warning, you slipped your tongue between his lips, feeling his mouth part with alacrity. When you finally parted, his green eyes were glazed over with tears, hazily staring at you.

Then you smiled at him slyly. “I think you’ve deserved a little bit more,” you decided.

The moment you slid his tip into you, he choked. Saliva dribbled from the corners of his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut, struggling for breath. His entire body froze, humming taut under you and his eyes sightlessly staring up at the ceiling.

You observed his wrecked expression, licking your lips with satisfaction. Rarely did Jesse ever fully submit to you like this, usually a brat. But tonight, you had absolute and utter control, and you intended to milk every last ounce of satisfaction out of it. The memories would fuel you for years of his utterly ruined expression, tears slipping down his cheeks as he drooled uncontrollably.

“So pretty, darling,” you purred, licking the tears from his cheek. You gave him another kiss, letting his hands wander over your waist and up your front. “So good for me. Do you think you can handle more?”

His eyes widened, breath quickening. He glanced down, then shook his head jerkily. Then nodded. Then shook his head.

You tilted your head. “Hmmm.” A wicked grin crossed your lips. “No? Oh, but I think you can,” your said, just as you lifted yourself and fully sheathed him inside you.

Jesse sobbed. His mouth opened, tongue lolling as he gasped. Tears poured down his cheeks from the mingled pleasurable pain and relief. His cock throbbed inside you, and his hands grasped desperately at your thighs. His entire body started to shake, arching.

You barely gave him time to adjust before you were already bouncing on him, hands braced against the back of the couch. Laughter spilled from your lips, delighted and cruel, as his hands scrabbled against your thighs, raking across your skin. Moans kept being torn from his throat, your name framed on his lips.

As soon as you angled your hips and brought your fingers down to ring tight circles on your clit, you hissed in pleasure. You pulsed around his cock, earning another helpless sob and wave of tears. He just hit that one spot inside you perfectly, again and again, until you bit your lip and moaned his name as you came around him. Your body clenched down on him, even as you kept fucking yourself through your orgasm.

More laughter spilled from your lips. “Are you gonna cum for me, Jesse, my pretty darling?” you asked breathlessly, purposely moaning his name. “Gonna cum inside me?”

The only warning you got from Jesse was another sob and the gritting of his teeth. His hands flew to your hips, slamming you down on him one more time before holding you there with an iron grip. Gasps tore from his mouth, his eyes trying to blink away tears as he stared up at you.

You hummed, caressing his hands and arms as you bit your lip in satisfaction. He kept pouring into you, his hips jerking once in a while and wringing a whimper from him. Finally, you leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. His lips parted under yours weakly, chest heaving under your hands.

“Thank you, Jesse,” you cooed sweetly between kisses. “You’re so good to me, make me feel so good.” Your mind fuzzed with the pleasure of both your high and the sight of his tears.

He pushed up against you, kissing you fervently. Though he didn’t say a word, you could feel his thoughts through his drugged, sloppy kiss.

You giggled, teasingly clenching down on him one more time and earning a jerk and grunt. “And I forgive you. But don’t do it again, okay?”

Jesse’s calculating look as he clearly weighed the consequences made you roll your eyes but laugh. Maybe this one would turn out to backfire against you, next time.

You decided it was worth it.

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[realcube]

CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY 

characters ♡ bokuto, tendō, matsukawa & suna

tw ♡ gn! reader, timeskip! bokuto (all sfw tho), swearing, reader wears makeup (matsukawa), swearing, mentions of death & food 

cred ♡ thanks to anon for this request <3

KŌTARŌ BOKUTO

♡ he was literally counting down the days to your birthday, he even took the day off practise to celebrate it with you so imagine his surprise when the special day finally rolls around and he wakes up to an empty bed

♡ at first, he thought that perhaps you were just around the house somewhere but nope, the place was completely empty and even worse, all signs pointed to his theory that you had gone to work/school on your birthday 

♡ outraged. he was absolutely outraged. 

♡ firstly, he tried calling you but you wouldn’t pick up, even after his many attempts so his next resort to call your place of work/school reception 

♡ obviously he managed to get a hold of you then-

♡ he was originally gonna yell about how you lied to him about taking the day off on your birthday but there was no way he could be angry at you — almost ever — so instead, he made the quick decision of telling you to have a nice day before hanging up 

♡ you were kinda pissed that he wasted your time like that but how could you stay mad at him? he’s fkn adorable! he blew you audible kisses over the phone for good luck!

♡ you laboured your way through the day, putting in great effort yet through it all, the only thing on your mind was how much you wanted to just pass out on the couch with bokuto as soon as you got home. you weren’t even sure if you had the energy to change into your pjyamas.

♡ however, when you finally did arrive home, there was no need to put yourself through the onerous task of changing clothes as the first thing you were greeted by when you stepped foot in your own home was a chorus of cheers of ‘surprise!’ followed by people spilling out into the foyer from the kitchen and living room 

♡ then there was bokuto, the loudest of them all leading the crowd, blowing into the party horn while dashing up to, throwing his arms around your shoulders to pull you into a tight hug, ‘happy birthday, sweetie!’

♡ a light gasp escaped your lips at the sudden hoots, and the unfamiliar — and frankly uncomfortable — sight of many friends swarm towards you had you on edge but when you felt bokuto wrap you in his warm embrace, you knew you were home

♡ he held you close until you were forced apart by many guests tearing you away to personally wish you a happy birthday

♡ now that the initial shock had died down, you noticed that there wasn’t as many people present as you thought, it was a humble gathering of all your closest friends 

♡ there was a massive pile of bright-colored gifts lying on the stairs, and it was hard not to immediately acknowledge them as the sheer mass and number of the presents scattered across the steps prevented anyone from being able to go upstairs

♡ the following day, you were made aware of the fact 90% of those presents were addressed from ‘your best ace husband ;)’ which was pretty straight-forward considering you only have one husband; kiyoomi sakusa. 

♡ jokes, you married bokuto but sakusa was also at the party. he originally just wanted to drop off his gift then leave but bokuto persuaded him to stay, though he seemed to be regretting it now as almost everyone at the party now shared an unspoken goal to slam sakusa’s face into one of the cupcakes that decorated the circumference of your cake

♡ speaking of the cake, bokuto remembered what type of cake was your favorite from the wedding planning and he was so chuffed with himself. in fact, he was so confident in his cake picking ability that he ordered a massive 3-tier monster of a dessert 

♡ neither of you would be able to finish it before it goes bad so you ended up cutting it up into pieces  and sending each guest away with a little goody-bag with a slice of cake inside lmao 

♡ once you had finished your goodbyes and everyone had filed out of your home, you flopped onto the couch and let out a deep sigh of relief. well, it was only a sigh for a few moment as it became a wheeze when bokuto laid down on top of you 

♡ ‘happy birthday, (y/n). i’m sorry if i tired you out.’ he hummed, fiddling with your fingers as his lips curled into a shaky smile

♡ ‘i’m a bit sleepy but i had an amazing time. thank you so much, kō.’

♡ bokuto smiled, his heavy lid falling shut as he finally rested his neck, being able to fall asleep comfortably now that you’ve told him that you had fun

SATORI TENDŌ

♡ unlike bokuto, he’ll actually mention your birthday a few weeks prior to the celebration so he can plan the perfect date :3

♡ ‘so do you wanna go to the aquarium or the theme park? because i know we’ve went to the park before but they remodelled it apparently. plus, maybe the aquarium is a bit underwhelming for such a special day, but it’s up to yo--’

♡ ‘we won’t really get to spend much time in either. if you consider the time school finishes, the train ride and the time the aquarium and park closes so maybe we could just chill at my house instead.’

♡ tendō deadpanned for a moment, the most unamused look taking over his features until he suddenly burst out laughing, cackling as if you just told the joke of the century, ‘seriously, (y/n)? you’re gonna go to school on your birthday.’

♡ ‘yes, of course.’ you replied in all seriousness, resulting in tendō awkwardly beginning to stifle his chuckles.

♡ he frowned, slumping back into the seat beside you, ‘c’mon, it’s your birthday, though! you deserve the day off.’

♡ you shook your head, kindly declining his suggestion, ‘i have a test on that day.’

♡ ‘all the more reason to ditch!’

♡ now it was your turn to deadpan

♡ tendō tossed his head back while letting out a sigh  of defeat, draping his arm around your shoulder to lovingly pull you to his chest, ‘alright, then. whatever you want, dear.’

♡ you smiled, glad that you didn’t need to disagree with him any longer — and you were even happier on the day. even though you insisted that he keeps things small on your birthday, he still managed to find a way to make things extra asf by getting you a massive plush that was about half the size of your stature and a hamper of homemade chocolates ><

ISSEI MATSUKAWA 

♡ honestly, he’s never been the best at giving gifts but he tries extra hard for you 

♡ like if you off-handedly say that you are cold during class, he’ll buy you a bunch of new jackets, jumpers and gloves

♡ or if you say you need more mascara, he’ll buy you exact same one you usually wear 

♡ he’s observant enough to notice and remember the exact shade and brands of all your cosmetic products but he’s not observant enough to pick up on the subtle hints you drop as to what you want for your birthday 

♡ you can never guess what he’s gonna get you and that adds to your anticipation for the day 

♡ if your birthday is on a school day, he’ll bring in a batch of homemade cupcakes (which hanamaki helped him with) and stick a candle in one of them for you to blow out 

♡ he offers you one but they are all pretty stale- just smile and nod while your teeth feel like they are being shattered trying to bite down on the cupcake 

♡ it might set off the fire alarm but oh well, just count that as another present

♡ oikawa will probably get you something like a bouquet and try flirt with you so at that point, matsukawa and hanamaki begin using the cupcakes as weapons 

♡ they are a two for one deal so you’re going to be spending the day with both of them tailing you like lost puppies

platonic RINTARŌ SUNA

♡ (requester specified) your birthday is on the same day as his so ofc he’s going to be a little salty abt it 

♡ you both created a game to see who receives the most birthday wishes and whoever won gets ¥1500 from the loser’s birthday money

♡ for the past few years, he’s usually been the winner by just a few but this year, you made it a point to befriend all him teammates in order to ensure victory 

♡ having to pretend to be friendly with atsumu — who wasn’t very good at hiding his massive crush —was definitely a challenge but you powered through 

♡ in fact, you may have played the role too well as both the miya twins gave you a gift 

♡ osamu gave both you and suna a plastic bag filled with some food he made and water bottles

♡ as for atsumu, his gift to you was a massive hamper filled with an assortment of many different luxury confectionary which didn’t look cheap at all but it didn’t feel appropriate to question the price so you simply took it from him with a bright smile

♡ of course, suna was excited (and very hungry) as he expected the same gift but he was more than disappointed when all he received was a bag of chips and a slap on the back

♡ he goes out of his way to tell every teacher it’s your birthday in hopes that they’ll make the class sing happy birthday to you 

♡ but it pisses him off to no end when you add that it’s his birthday too so he ends up getting roped into your misery 

♡ also your thumbs are going to be sore at night swiping through all the various candid pics that suna took of you throughout the day (in less than flattering poses) which he uplaoded to almost all of his social media stories with stupid ass captions 

♡ but dw bc he’ll eventually post a nice photo of you with a sweet message

♡ ‘happy birthday to @(y/n) . i would die for you, bitch (even though you annoy the hell out of me every single day 🤠).’ 

[ithehellisbucky]

Waking Up In Vegas

spencer reid x reader

request: prompts 87 (boop), 88 (that's such a bad idea- lets do it), 89 (Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool), 96 (I'm not crying, you are.) by anon

word count: 1.7k

warnings: Mentions of drug addiction, heavy drinking and blackout, that's it.

author's note: I've had this in my inbox for months, and I'm so sorry I didn't finish it sooner. Also, what do you want to see from my blog, it seems like I only post once a week for my fics and that's a no go from me.

~~~

The light was too loud- that's a wonderful thing to think when you remember nothing of the night before. You groaned and sat up, seeing that you were in a large bed with white covers. You scratched your head and looked around, noticing that the bedboard behind you was a large pink heart.

Looking down you realize that you're wearing a sequined red bikini top and a skirt scarf combo with booty shorts underneath. Drunk you does not have good fashion sense.

Before you can notice anything else, you start to feel puke crawling up your throat and you immediately run and vomit all your guts up.

You rinse your mouth out and notice that the blanket mound you left has shifted, and you become wary and pick up a heavy brass candlestick.

And then the lump rolls over, and it's your goddamn coworker.

"Reid?"

He startles and wakes up, staring at you and then glancing down at himself- huh, there was something wrong about that picture, but you couldn't figure out what it was just yet.

"y/n? What are you doing in my hotel room?" He pauses, looks around, then mutters under his breath "this isn't my hotel room."

He looks up at you "Since when are you married?"

"I'm not," You look down at your hand, noticing a giant red ruby adorning your ring finger "I am."

You look down at his hand and notice that he is too, "And so are you."

You and Spencer look around your room, both badly masking paranoia and panic. Both of your eyes stop when you notice a picture frame in the corner- a wedding certificate.

"Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool. This is fine, no big deal, just a marriage certificate," You move over and pick it up "with both of our names on it."

"Okay, this is okay, this is fine," Spencer says, sitting back down on the bed stunned.

"So, we're married, which is a thing that happened, last night, that you definitely remember." You say, sitting down next to your newly revealed husband.

"I don't remember."

"How do you not remember? You have super memory powers!"

"This is an excellent first fight to have as a married couple, of course, you blame me." He says, standing up and shrugging.

You meet his stance "Of course I blame you! You're the smart one!"

"Oh, well Agent, I wasn't aware that you had an IQ of 25!" He pauses "25 is the number associated by Henry H. Goodard to be an idiot, it's actually-"

"I know!" You exclaim, seething with half-hearted rage.

"You know, your the one who got an addict drunk!"

"Your vice isn't alcohol! If I drugged you I'd be a monster! You ordered that first bloody mary all by yourself, and those shots we did were totally consensual!!!"

He looked up at you "you remember that?"

You think, and notice memories that you didn't know were there, "um, yeah, bits and pieces."

From the expression he makes, he looks to be remembered more too. You and your new husband sit down and let it all hit you.

~~~

"4 tequila shots please." You wave down the bartender.

You're already buzzed, but you and Spencer were just getting warmed up. Morgan and Garcia left hours ago to go to a fancy restaurant, Rossi was planted firmly at the poker table, Hotch was nowhere to be seen, JJ had gone home to be with Henry, and Emily was at a "sin to win" night at some casino that you already knew too much about just by hearing the name.

So that leaves you and Spencer at the bar in the only casino in town he wasn't banned from.

At first, you were concerned about him drinking, but once he reassured that alcohol isn't his way of self-medicating, you were okay. Besides, if you saw any red flags, you would throw his ass in rehab faster than you can say 'gin'.

So, you were 5 drinks in and having the time of your lives, showing off battle scars and laughing. God, his eyes were pretty.

"Your eyes are so pretty!" You giggled "like soooooo pretty, woooooooow."

He laughed and looked back at you "your skin is pretty, like in a non-serial killer way, it's really pretty."

"Thank you, just don't kill me for it."

"I just called no murder!" He whined "besides, how am I sure you won't kill me and scoop my eyes out?"

"Because that's gross." You said, rolling your eyes.

"And stealing your skin isn't?"

"You can' have my skin!" You say, mock running away.

He laughs, and looks directly into your eyes, and smiles, wow, he was pretty. Morgan was right.

"Hey, do you wanna get out of here?" Spencer asks you.

"Yeah, let's get ice cream!" You grab his hand, and it feels natural through your foggy brain.

After stumbling through the ice cream parlor, full of people who were trying to pretend like they weren't. Spencer got butter pecan, and you got sherbert and chocolate.

You stumbled out of the store, giggling to yourself and Spencer.

God, you loved him. So you told him.

"I love you." He stopped in his tracks, and you almost tripped on a bicycle rack.

"Really?" He whispers.

All of the giggles are gone.

"I love you."

The ice cream is long forgotten, his on the ground, and half of yours on your clothes and half next to his on the ground. All that's left is your faces inching closer to each other.

When your lips meet it feels like firecrackers going off inside your head.

His mouth is soft, gently contrasting with your soft lips. His tongue sneaks into your mouth, your smile around his.

"Let's get married." He pulls apart from you, out of breath.

You stay silent for a moment, before looking up and directly into his chocolate brown eyes "That is such a bad idea-"

He diverts his eyes and scratches the back of his skull "Um, yeah, that's okay, let's-"

"Let's do it."

He looks back at you, and you grab his body and kiss him.

~~~

Sometimes people can be happy, you realize as an elderly woman ties a sash around your waist.

You have to be honest, you never thought this was gonna be how you were gonna get married. Hell, you weren't sure if you were gonna get married at all. But certainly not like this. Certainly not at 1 am to your coworker 7 drinks in at a cheap roadside attraction.

Definitely not like this.

But something about this weirdness felt like the only way anything ever would've made any sense.

There was something about the outfit you were wearing that was perfect, a bright red bra covered in sequins underneath a top with buttons and poofy sleeves that showed off a lot of your chest, a wrap-around cheap white silk skirt with jeans shorts underneath. And of course purple open-toed boots. Perfect.

Marrying Spencer Reid is like a fever dream. A perfect man with perfect hair and perfect eyes. So of course you were giggling like crazy while they put the cheap crown with pink tulle serving as a veil on your head.

Your witnesses were an elderly couple, of course, you wanted to have your best friends there, but knowing them they'd try to talk you out, and believe me, there was no way you wanted out of it.

"Now's time dear," the woman exclaims, gently patting you on the shoulder and leading you out of the fitting room and towards the chapel.

The owner of the business hooks his arm around yours and leads you into the chapel, church bells from an iPod attached to a speaker ringing out into the air.

Spencer turns around the air visibly leaves his lungs when you make eye contact. The chapel you two had chosen in this drunken haze was costume-themed, and he was wearing an ancient Rome costume that fit the time where his favorite philosopher, so even though no one else noticed, you could tell he was dressed as Gaius.

His hair had been attempted to slick back, but little curls were popping up all over the place instead. He was wringing his hands tightly and bouncing his knee, god you couldn't wait to marry him.

The elderly man who had led you to the alter places you next to Spencer, you couldn't focus on anything but your soon-to-be-husband.

Spencer takes his hands and gently pulls your veil up from around your face, and a tear trickles out of his eyes as he sees you. You smile and notice his nerves, try to calm the love of your life down "boop", you gently tap his nose and he smiles in comfort.

The officiant drones on and on about love but you can't hear him, all you can focus on is his love-filled eyes.

"Do you take Spencer Reid to be your husband?"

Your eyes snap out of their daze and you say with the most certainty than you have ever said anything: "I do."

"And do you take (y/n) (y/l/n) to be your life partner for as long as you may live?"

"I do," And you feel more wanted than you ever have in your life, he wants you, Spencer wants you.

~~~

You and Spencer sit on your bed in stunned silence, neither believing that last night had really happened. You look over at your apparent husband and notice tears streaming down his face.

"You're crying." You say, your voice coming out as a chocked whisper.

"I'm not crying, you are." You look down and notice that your shirt is soaked in tears.

"Oh." You take a deep breath and look into his eyes. "So, what do you want to do?"

"Get an annulment?" He doesn't look completely happy about his answer and stares into your eyes for reassurance.

You take a deep breath and stare off into the distance, out into a world that would be so much better if you were married to Spencer Reid. "I don't want that."

You look back at him to meet his eyes, "Me neither."

"I love you, a lot, and I want to be married to you." Spencer smiles, and you feel wanted and safe and loved.

Instead of saying it back, he kissed you with a passion that was way more descriptive than simple words. Spencer is your husband and you love him, he loves you, and you are finally wanted.

~~

My Masterlist

Requests are open!

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

Criminal Minds:

[qyllenhaal]

God’s Face in the Fire || Part 2

Dark!Lee Bodecker x Dark!Reader

Summary: A wife who would do anything to give her husband the world, even if it means getting herself involved with his trouble.

Word Count: 10.3k

Chapter warnings: dark themes!!! contains mentions of murder, non-graphic death scenes, smut (loss of virginity in a flashback scene), manipulation, brief mention of sexual assaults, misogyny, uncomfortable situations. Please heed the warnings!!! 18+ only

A/N: It's been forever since I posted. The last two weeks have left me discombobulated that it was hard to find time to sit down to write and edit this, but I'm glad I got to it! The next part is going to be the last part but I have plans to do one-shots for this universe. I'm going to be posting a Senator!Chris fic tomorrow so stay tuned for that.

Enjoy!

"You remember when I took you out for milkshakes and you spilled yours all over me? You were wearing that exact same color," Lee said pointing at the dress she was pressing.

"All those years ago, and you still remember that?" Y/n wanted to drown in this tender moment she's having with her husband. Hearing him laugh, his stomach shifting, and his eyes wrinkling.

"How could I? Watching you get all flustered and cute really got me goin’. It's when I knew I was gonna marry ya."

The days have been incredibly warm and beautiful since Y/n had done what she did. It was cruel irony that she was enjoying another day while someone’s body was rotting. The softer moments of life were few and far between these days, but right now she’s offered her a wonderful distraction.

She had taken on more tasks than usual to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts she had. She even accepted a last minute invite to help put on an event at the local rental hall with some of the other mothers in town. It gave her an excuse to look nice and show herself off to anyone who had some doubts about Lee. Things were looking good for him, but there was always something to do to further rehabilitate his image. She always looked her best as the sheriff's wife. Keeping up the appearances exhausted her since they have become more frequent for her. However if she wanted the people to fawn over her lovely family, she had to show up. An arts and crafts event for the kids is also a good chance to get their daughter out of the house.

Teenage Y/n did not see herself becoming a housewife so young. It was unsavory to think about being a homemaker for one of the boys’ at school. She surmised that she would’ve stuck by her original plan if she had not been so lonely. All of Y/n's friends left within a year of graduating high school. She didn't have that many friends to begin with, but she thought that at least one would always be there for her. Rose went to college, and Barbara found a man to marry and moved to upstate New York. Only one stayed for some time, Judith, but she eventually left after having a shotgun wedding. It was selfish of her to think that someone would stay just because she got rejected from the only college she had applied to. Other people had lives and Y/n was just not at the center of them.

The absence of her friends made her pregnancy more lonely. Her baby shower consisted of her family, Lee’s sister, and his co-workers and their wives. None of the women seemed to be fond of Y/n. It always plagued her mind to know if they thought she was too young and stupid or if it was just something else

She found solace in some of the other mother's in town. When she began showing up around to volunteer at bake sales and food drives she expected them to look at her face and then down at her belly and reject her. She is younger than them and feared they'd find her naïve. She had kept to herself for so long that she thought they'd write her off as the sheriff's meek wife.

Y/n didn't get a chance to mingle with anyone prior to her marriage and Lee made it harder by insisting in little ways that she stay in the house. No one was at fault that Lee wanted to keep her to himself. It was possible he did it out of insecurity, but Y/n now speculates that it was because he didn’t want to hear or even see what he may have been doing.

One of the ladies who Y/n only knew by her dark hair and distinct, pointy nose joked that Lee had, "finally let Rapunzel out of the castle." When the other mothers joined into laughter, she felt small. It was only a harmless joke that was steeped in the truth. It took her persistence to no longer wanting to feel alone while being pregnant to get the women to warm up to her, and the did.

"I remember spilling the milkshake, but I was too embarrassed to remember anything else about that night," she admitted.

Lee remembers that night very well. He wishes that she didn't end the night so quickly because she ruined a pair of trousers that could easily be replaced. He had only bought them to impress her, but it didn't take much to get her to swoon over him. No other man was giving her the time of day.

"We should go out to that diner Friday night. Now that we have someone to watch the little one, we don't have to stop by your parents to drop her off anymore. I can just scoop you up and we can have a night together," Lee pressed himself into Y/n's backside. She giggled when his hands lightly danced against her ticklish sides.

Lee had also been aware of the slim moments of intimacy with his wife. He was serious about this race but he truly underestimated how much time and effort he'd have to put into this. But people really did love the old mayor. The only slight Lee had against him was his old age and how some believed that if he kept going then he might run into some health problems. The rumors about him becoming more and more forgetful were minute compared to the dark gossip swirling about Lee though. Some of the people in town would probably vote for a paper bag before Lee.

His biggest fear is that he loses the election and drives his wife away. He could lose the race, but if his wife somehow slipped away, taking their baby with her, he’d drink himself into a stupor. Lee tried his very best to hide his insecurities from her. When he worried, she worried too and it made it much harder for him to plan his way out of whatever hole he is in when he has a hysterical wife to deal with. That's why he'd rather not tell her anything.

Lee also wasn't the young man in his prime anymore, he believed that his good looks were fading, and he has gained a considerable amount of weight. The fear of Y/n just up and leaving him for someone younger than him and riding off to the city always plagued him. The birth of their daughter should've assuaged him, but his self-doubt always lingered like a cloud that made him stick to his vices.

"I've really missed ya honey...missed this body of yours."

Y/n flinched when his hands ran down the front of her body, over her stomach and then circling up back to her breast. Her body has changed considerably since giving birth and the hormonal imbalance left her feeling tired, sad, and alone. Her mother told her that all she had to do was look at her child and she'd feel better, but every time she looked at her little girl all she did was worry. Was she a good mom? Why was her daughter crying so much without much working? Was Lee staying at work for long hours to avoid the crying and her? Did he still find her attractive?

They’re both too busy thinking Lee's mayoral bid to realize they felt the exact same way as each other. If there was any other time that proved they were an extension of each other, it was now, but they were too blind to see it.

"Lee y-you're going to be late for work," her voice was weakened by his lips now nipping at her neck.

"Don't give a damn," he whispered against her skin, inhaling her familiar scent, "just wanna feel my wife."

Today, Y/n felt herself slipping back into her normal self and normal life. She melted into Lee, hoping that maybe they could have a moment to themselves, but they were interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. Every early morning and late night phone call had her on edge. They never seemed to be about anything important but it hasn't failed yet to make her stomach churn.

Lee groaned and pulled away from her. She watched him disappear to go answer the phone.

It has been nearly two days and the only thing on her mind is what happened after she left that brothel. The anxiety made her feel sick. Hours later after it happened, around 2 a.m., she woke up and darted to the toilet. Lee kept asking her if she was pregnant as he held her hair back while her face was in the toilet. She dismissed his claims, knowing full and well that she was just sickened by her actions.

Lee had not mentioned a death or anything related to that brothel, so had he even been found? Was his death even reported? The girls who worked for him were probably too worried about their own arrest than the death of their abusive boss.

She wiped the look of worry off of her face when she heard his heavy footsteps coming back up the stairs.

"Who was it?"

"Your brother," his tone held disgust, "invited us to dinner on Sunday. He asked to speak to you but I told him you were still sleep."

"Lee!"

"I don't want to hear it," his voice boomed, much more dominant and rough than hers, "I ain't having dinner with him and I don't want to hear your mouth about it."

Y/n stayed silent and watched him grab the police hat resting on the dresser. She hated for him to leave on such a sour note, but she wouldn't dare say anything in fear she might make things worse.

He started towards the door of their bedroom before turning back to his wife, "Sandy supposed to stop by Saturday. I don't know why, so don't ask, but she claims she's comin'. Who knows if she'll stick to her word."

It’s like Lee did that on purpose, as some sort of sick payback for her brother calling. Y/n was not fond of Sandy and did not like to be around her for more than ten minutes. Sandy was a nice girl, a bit unsavory at times, but her husband Carl was a stain on her life. There was something about him that reminded her of the men her mother had warned her about when she was a young teenager; a man with a slick tongue and a creepy air around him. However, she found Carl much more sinister than that. The look in Carl's eyes when he looked at her and flashed her that unsettling smile was imprinted into her brain. They did not come around much, but when they did it was always a traumatic experience for Y/n.

Lee left the room before Y/n could respond. He knows how Y/n feels, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. She’s not going to protest against it because she knows better than that. He focused on the sound of soft babbling from his daughter as he walked into her room.

"Hey you," she looked up at him with her big eyes and her widening smile that made his heart swell, "you gonna be good for your mama? You've been on a mean streak lately and I'd hate to make good on my threat and put you in baby jail."

His daughter reached up and tried to grab at his face. Lee was clean-shaven now, but for the first few months of his daughter's life he had enough hair on his face for her to grab a hold of. It was funny to see how she still tried to grab at his non-existent hair, pinching his skin in the process.

"Miss the beard little lady? You're just like your mama," he kissed her forehead and felt a deep sense of guilt that he had to leave her to go to work. But everything he did was for her and if he believes that the long hours are going to pay off. All of his work is going to pay off when he wins that race.

-

The dress her daughter wore was blush to complement her mother's golden one. She looked around at every single building and person they passed as if it was her first time seeing it again. Her sense of wonder always made Y/n adore her even more. Y/n wondered what was going on in the little mind of her and what sense she made of the world.

She was never fussy when they were out, which was good for Y/n, but also good for the rehabilitation of Lee's image. He has such a good daughter and pretty wife, he must be doing something right. Every single person who stopped to say hi or coo at how cute her baby was, Y/n wondered if they have ever said something negative about Lee. Y/n never received weird stares or grimaces that would make her paranoid, but she still felt on edge. She always wanted to be on her best behavior, especially when Lee was not with her.

Y/n was forced to be her normal self; cheerful even though her mind was reeling over two nights ago, her sister-in-law, and what the conversation between Lee and her brother this morning may have sounded like. When one of the toddlers thrusted their drawing her face she feigned an excited smile. She hoped the mother's didn't notice her lackluster attitude.

"Y/n , can I speak with you?"

It was Sally's voice that called to her. She looked at the blonde woman with a bit of panic on her face. She thought that she was going to get chewed out by her, especially since she pulled her far away from the other children, and her daughter who was being held by one of the recently graduated girls.

"Is everything alright Sally?"

"I should be asking you that. Why am I hear things about Mrs. Blackwater sayin' she seen your Lee dumpin' bodies in the river behind her house?" At that moment Y/n could not hear her despite her lips still moving. Her blood ran cold at that last name being mentioned. It's been years, close to a decade, since she thought about that old woman, but the mere mention of her name brought Y/n back to a place she didn't want to be.

"I-I...I don't know what she's talking about-"

"My husband and I made a sizable donation to your husband's campaign, and it would be a shame to see him lose," the sugary voice and fake smile on Sally's face made Y/n's stomach ache. She didn't like how some of these women could be so fake because it always made her question if they really liked her or not. But Sally didn't care what Y/n would respond with, all she cared about was her and her husband's reputation, "you're not that much younger than me so you remember them days when that old bitch would be on her porch spewin’ whatever nonsense she could think if at any girl who walked on her sidewalk. No one likes Mrs. Blackwater, but don't think for a second they won't consider what she has to say about that husband of yours. I've heard too many whispers about him and I don't like it. I'll pull my endorsements if you don't fix this shit."

Was murdering one person not enough to save her husband from losing this race? The brothel owner was one person, someone who would not be missed by many people, but could she do something about Mrs. Blackwater?

'That's not right, that's not right.'

No matter how much she tried to shake that evil idea off, it kept creeping into her mind. Murder was the unlikely tool she had in her arsenal all along. It was morally wrong to kill someone, but her victim and the potential one had not been nice people. Mrs. Blackwater's stain on this Earth paled in comparison to Reed's, but that woman made her blood run much colder than the brothel owner.

It was so ironic that Mr. Blackwater was a beloved man in town because no one could stand his wife. They knew not to cross her path and that pies and home cooked meals would not abate her disdain for people. A man who was so kind and friendly was married to the most antisocial person Y/n has ever come across. But he never wasted a moment to sing her her praises. Y/n remembers one of her sons and he was mean just like his mother; a school yard bully that would beat up on anyone he saw as weak and alone. Y/n was lucky that he knew she had an older brother to protect because the Blackwater’s youngest boy never tried anything with her. However, she was not lucky enough to escape the wrath of Mrs. Blackwater. The irony was that she probably would've been better off being a victim of her son. That woman was nasty and wasn't afraid to show it.

"Don't you two get tired of dressing like whores?"

They had to pass the Blackwater house to get to Rose's house. Her house used to be at the end of the street before it got burned down, leaving the Blackwater house the last one on the street. It was nice, and had a big, big porch that Mrs. Blackwater always sat on for most of the day. She didn't stop at calling them just "whores'' and "wenches" either. Y/n never could understand why they always took the brunt of that woman's anger. Rose went home in tears every time she walked by that house. Maybe Y/n's anger is displaced, but she blames Mrs. Blackwater for why Rose was so eager to leave. There wasn't much here, but Rose always promised she'd stay. But ever since they encountered Mrs. Blackwater's misery, Rose had changed.

She could imagine that same venomous voice saying awful things about her husband, "Lee Bodecker put that body in the water. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

The thought of her husband killing someone shouldn't sound so crazy, especially after being able to do it herself. But her Lee can't be a cold-hearted man who slept with whores, murdered people, and ruined people lives. He was so sweet to her, he wasn't always was, but his touch was so soft against her skin, how could he hurt anyone?

Y/n had just turned 19 when she met Lee. He was a deputy, closer to being the sheriff than either of them knew at the time. Their age difference scared her somewhat; she only gave him a chance so she could distract herself from reminding herself that she should be finishing up the last year of being a college freshman. She had the grades and thought her test scores were satisfactory but she got rejected from Indiana University. Her father told her that there is always next year, but her mother told her she should just figure out a new plan.

It was the uncertainty and loneliness that made her get closer to Lee. He was close to his late 20s, unmarried, and he didn't exactly make his loneliness unknown.

He left a sour taste in her mouth in their very first encounter; pulling her over as an excuse to get her number. She gripped the steering wheel to stop them from shaking so much. She only had her license for a few weeks and made sure to be careful in fear of this exact situation happening. His slick talk didn't make her feel that much better either. She was too shaken up to even look at him in the eye or take in any of his features. She just remembered seeing his badge the words DEPUTY SHERIFF etched into it.

Lee let her off, saying she had a "pretty face" and that he hoped to see her around. She didn't think much about their interaction the days after he pulled her over, but she began to see him more than before. Y/n couldn't remember a time she had seen him prior to that one night and found it odd that his face kept reappearing. (He later told her that it was fate, but it was not. Lee purposefully put himself in her orbit. It was not hard to learn what her routine was and when she went out.)

She was weary about his advances, unsure how to react to them because the most experience she's had was with two boys, only one of whom she kissed. Their first date was not by choice either, he just decided to stick by her side while she was at the local dinner by herself.

And he has always stuck by since then, always hovering around her until she realized he was not going to go away and it’d be futile to ignore him. Lee never gave her the chance to make the decision for herself, but his girl was so sweet and she just needed a few cushy words for her to understand that this was where she belonged.

"Do your parents know you're out here meeting me?" It had only been a matter of time before she learned to be very obedient to him; always accepting his plans, even if it meant sneaking out of the house in the midnight hour. The smirk he wore on his face every time he watched her walk up to him left her feeling enchanted.

"Don't talk too loud. If my brother hears you he'll kill you and have my head."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her front to him. Lee groaned at the feel of her breast against his chest. She was so nervous to do anything with him that she only let him kiss her. It was fine for a while, but he had grown tired of waiting. Tired of being teased by her in those soft, pink dresses that would ride up whenever she had to bend over even just a little bit. He couldn't believe how naive she was to believe he was always dropping things like a pencil or his wallet on accident; he just wanted to see her bend over for him just for a chance to peak at what pretty panties she wore that day.

Getting her to come out with him at night was surprising, but the idea of riding in his patrol car was so alluring. The sparkle in her eyes gave him an overwhelming sense of machismo; enough for him to realize he just needs to take what she wants.

The full moon hung in the clear sky and they had a vast, open field in front of them. He took her just to the edge of the county that was secluded and was his favorite spot to go for some quiet (or getting his dick sucked). The moonlight and a few street lights that were actually working were the only light they had.

"You look so pretty today baby," his hand rested on her thigh the whole entire drive but only now did he actually move it to stroke her skin, "you always look so pretty for me. I'm the luckiest man in town."

Y/n giggled and her face felt like it was burning up. No one had taken the time to compliment her sweetly, and that was obvious to Lee. He cradled her face in the palm of his hand and watched her turn into putty. His hand inches closer to her heat causing her to jump like his hand was made of actual fire.

"Relax baby...just relax for me," Lee planted his face in her neck and nipped at it. His lips tickled the skin on her neck and she did her best to suppress her giggles but they spilled from her lips. Lee smirked against her skin, "there she is. There's my girl."

She let a laugh slip through, but she suppressed the moan that was stuck in her throat. It was so odd to feel him on her neck but it was an unfamiliar feeling that she liked. His hand never left her thigh, in fact he had sneakily moved it closer to her sex. She felt ashamed about the growing wetness that she could feel sticking to her.

Lee grabbed her hand and placed it right over the bulge straining in his pants. She let out a heavy sigh when she realized what it was. "That's how hard you make me. You making me so fucking hard girl," he growled in her ears. This was something only the senior girls from her high school could dream about when they talked about hooking up with their boyfriends. None of them were even half the man Lee was, and here he was: hard and ready just for her.

"L-Lee," her voice broke into bits, her body overheating from Lee taking control, "wait, can we slow down?"

"You taste so sweet baby," he continued kissing her, ignoring her until she was pulling away from his grasp. "What's wrong girl?" The furrowing of his brow made her worry that she pissed him off. Lee was all she had, he convinced her to put away her dream of going to college and stay here for him, if she ran him off then she'd have nothing else.

"I'm just nervous. I’ve never done this before Lee," she hoped her honesty went a long way and would make him take her home instead. But all it did was make him readjust himself in his seat and pull away from her rather coldly.

Lee was irritated with her, she got him all hard, but he did his best to temper his anger. She's lucky that he was on the job all day and didn't have a chance to drink yet or else she'd see the side of him that he purposely hid from her.

"Don't be nervous baby. You know I love you right?" She nodded her head with her wide eyes holding a sad look in them, "good girl. Let me show you something."

Lee patted his lap and Y/n looked at him with apprehension.

"C'mon now," he patted his lap once again, this time with a bit of impatience in his voice.

Y/n awkwardly shifted over the center console of his patrol car and found herself in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She tried to ignore how his bulge poked at her slit through her cotton panties.

"You ever been in a car this nice before?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head, somewhat distracted by the beautiful interior and his cock poking at her. The only car she's ever drove was the shitty one that was passed down to her. Lee's patrol car doesn't look like it's more than five years old.

Seeing her look in wonder at the dash made him even harder. He began to rut against her, trying to feel as much friction as he could, but it wasn't enough to satiate a man who has been waiting a few months for this.

He sat back and started fumbling with his pants. Y/n heard the sound of the metal on his belt and unzipping of his pants but she froze on top of him instead of moving. She grabbed the steering wheel and held onto it as tight as she did the night he first laid eyes on her. Her alarm rose when Lee lifted her up a little to push her panties to the side.

"Lee what are you doing-"

"Shhh baby don't worry, I got you."

The sensation of his head poking at her slit and her sliding down him was unspeakable. She was uncomfortable with his splitting size, but he didn't move her at all, trying to give her some time to adjust but it was just so hard for him to restrain himself. She was so tight and warm, and definitely untouched by any man. "Fuck," he mumbled warmly in her ear. She felt him wrap his arm tighter around her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to somehow run away from him. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't know her way back home and she'd be stuck out here. She was safe with Lee even though she found herself feeling more confusion than pleasure.

Those girls from her high school days had to been lying to her, sex didn’t feel all that magical; his patrol car was not a romantic place to lose her virginity. Lee rocked her on his cock slowly as she tried to find the same pleasure that he was experiencing. His heavy breath was on her ear as she stared straight up into the night sky.

"You feel so good. You feel so fucking good baby."

His pleasure is what made her want to stay on top of him like this. She cared for him so much and she just wanted Lee to be proud of her. The "good girl" that continuously spilled from his lips sounded like a hymn she wanted to memorize.

Y/n let Lee have his way with her body. He groped her breast through her dress and then let his hands graze her sides. She wondered what he was doing when his hand slipped into her panties, but the warmth that shot through her made her mind go blank. Lee rubbed at her sensitive bud and she constricted around him. Instead of whimpering, she was now fully moaning; the way it felt so good had put her discomfort into the back of her mind.

"Oh fuck -- move your hips girl. You feel so good."

He rubbed her harder as a reward for swirling her hips against him. She began to bounce on top of him and he no longer had to do the hard work, just lean back and feel her engulfing him in her warmth.

"Lee," she whimpered, unsure of herself, but then she called his name again, "Lee," as if to let him know that he was the one giving her pleasure.

Lee knew he wasn't going to last, not when she was as tight and wet as she was. He can't remember the last time he took someone's virginity, nor when he was this hard. It was clear to him that she had no idea what she was doing by the way she bounced on him without a rhythm. Sometimes she'd stall herself before moving fast again. It didn't irk him, he found it endearing that she was so inexperienced. He was going to have to show her a lot of things and get her to fuck him to his liking.

Y/n gasped when Lee pulled out of her and jerked himself until white liquid was splashing on the back of her panties. She'd have to wash them before her mother saw the stain.

"You did so good baby, taking my cock like a big girl," he placed a sloppy kiss on her cheek, still trying to catch his breath while she shifted on top of him. He put himself away and nudged her towards the empty passenger seat. She was silent the entire time he drove her home. A sense of pride filled her because she had made Lee feel good. The sex itself was too weird to describe as being good, but she liked how she felt inside when he told her she felt good and that she made him cum. That's all she wanted to do was please Lee.

-

Saturday morning proved to be another beautiful day. It seems as if Summer didn't want to leave just yet even though October was near. There wouldn't be many more opportunities for Lee to make his impressions and sway the last few voters not on his side.

The event had been boring at most, but Sally's words really shook her up. No one in town would deny that Mrs. Blackwater has always been a bitter women, but they also wouldn't necessarily turn the other cheek if she starts going around saying that Lee Bodecker is a murder. Y/n's new problem made her forget about the decaying brothel owner. She doesn't care how mean the whole town thought the old woman was, she wanted her gone.

"You slept in. Did I tire you out last night?" Lee had the same smug smirk on his face that has been imprinted on her brains since their early years together.

Y/n nodded even though it wasn't completely truthful. She slept so hard because she's mentally spent and it was finally catching up with her body. Lee had been too distracted to notice how distant she was last night and how she is still distant now. In his eyes, as long as she was eager to lay under him then everything was fine.

Most mornings started like this: Y/n waking up next to her still tired husband and waiting to hear her daughter crying for her. He trudged out of bed and she heard him beat a path down the hall to the bathroom. There was still no sound of her daughter needing her, giving her some time alone. It was nearly silent except for the faint sound of the shower going. She breathed deeply and found herself feeling serene. Just five minutes without the memory of Sally threatening to pull her and her husband's support taunting her.

"Y/n! Do you not hear her crying?" Lee held a stern look on face, he must have been standing there for a few minutes. His towel was wrapped around his waist, stomach hanging over the soft white cotton, "what's wrong with you girl?"

She shook her head, "nothing Lee. I'm just still a lil' tired."

His face softened at her explanation but he nodded his head towards the door so she could take care of their daughter. Y/n hurried not to upset him for the rest of the day.

Their baby was just fussy and hungry. Her little eyes weren’t that red so she hadn’t been crying for long. “You hungry?” Her daughter somewhat understood what her mother was saying because her eyes went wide. The nightgowns Lee had bought Y/n made it much easier for her to pull herself out of them to feed their girl. She could see her daughter calming down, eyes closing once again. Y/n thought about keeping her daughter with her but she needed to rest in her crib. She placed her down gently as not to disturb and wake her again. At least one person in this family deserves peace.

"Back to sleep?" Lee's voice startled her, but the hand on her hip soothed her. Y/n nodded, never taking her eyes away from her girl. "Precious isn't she? So sweet when she's not fussin' about."

"She only fusses because she's teething, and she misses her father."

"Honey, you know why I'm at work longer than usual. It's for her. It's for you. It's for us. Do you know how much better her life, your life, is going to be better after I win that race?"

"But what if you don't win?"

Y/n rarely questions Lee, not even over small things, so he was confused as to why she was questioning him now. Did his wife not believe in him? She worried a lot, but when he first ran for sheriff, she was not this doubtful.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Lee, I didn't say that. It's just that people been talkin' and -"

"And you believe them? So my own wife doesn't think I'm going to win because a few people can’t got some things wrong?”

Y/n flinched as his voice got louder. The brashness of his voice woke their girl up from her attempt to fall into a deep sleep. Instead of waking up and silently looking around, the first thing that came from her was a cry. It served as a way for Y/n to escape Lee's wrath. She pulled her crying daughter into her arms and held her close to her chest. One glance at Lee's face and she knew he was going to deal with her later. But for now he just sighed and walked out of the nursery.

"Aww don't cry honey. It was just your daddy, okay? He's not mad at you sweetheart. Don't cry...don't cry," Y/n's voice cracked and tears slipped down her face. Her pleas were more for herself than they were her daughter.

Lee's hesitance to address the obvious problems he faces in regards to the election made Y/n feel uneasy. All she wanted was for her husband to just outright say he never did those things, but he never did. And if Y/n has resulted to murder, then she knows deep down that he did some of those things that people allege. There were just things that were too loud to drown out. The business when it came to solving a string of murders that happened a few years ago and people talking about him didn't affect him when he was going for re-election. There was no one else that had a strong enough presence to go against him and the folks in town figured that Lee gets enough done as far as crime goes, even though he could do more.

Y/n should be tired of trying to clean up his mess when he was so short with her. However it is not entirely his fault; he does not know. Maybe one day he'll learn and be grateful for what she has done for him.

-

Lee just couldn't stop reminding her that Sandy and Carl were coming over. It's almost as if he knew it got under Y/n's skin and used it against her after she hurt his feelings this morning. He's a sensitive one, even though he hides it well from most people, but her moment of vulnerability wasn't meant to hurt him. Though if their conversation had progressed any further, she might have spilled what she did to the brothel owner. She may want to believe Lee would be proud of her, but she cannot be so sure. It's sickening to assume that someone would be proud of a murder. She quickly began to feel dirty after a few minutes with her own thoughts ever since Lee snapped at her.

"Can you clean up? We're going to be having guests soon."

There were just a few baby toys on the floor but it was best not to make things worse with Lee (even though those toys were going to end up in the same place anyway).

Lee stepped outside as Y/n put their daughter in her high chair. Ever since her birth Lee was mindful not to smoke in the house; it was one of the house rules Y/n proposed that he was surprisingly very accepting of. She had taken away most of the things that he used to destress: alcohol, cigarettes, and candies.

She heard the motor of a car and Lee's muffled voice. She knew it was them, but hoped they were just making a short trip over. It's not like Lee likes Carl, and he's constantly complaining about his trouble making sister. Y/n hates that Sandy uses their daughter as an excuse to come over. She wouldn't mind if Sandy came alone, but she hated Carl around her little girl and she's sure Lee feels the same way.

Y/n's mother had gotten their daughter such a stupid gift when she was born. A baby that's not even half a year old yet didn't need a toy that had a million little pieces they could easily choke on, but of course it was her favorite thing to place with. Lee never cleaned up the mess, it was always Y/n who was doing it. She tried her best to pick everything up before they stepped inside but she heard the front door open. She tensed up, but she only heard the heavy footsteps of one person, and god did she hope it was Lee.

"What you doin' down there?"

Her eyes trailed up and Carl was gazing down at her. Words got caught in her throat and she clutched her hand around one of the toy pieces, the edges of it painfully digging into her palm.

"Did I scare you?"

The smirk on her face made her want to shriek. She noted that he didn't call her "darlin'" like he used to. She can only guess what Lee did to him when he "took him out back" after calling her that for a few years.

"Where's my niece?"

Y/n shot up, not caring about the toys still on the floor. She'll be damned if Carl is alone with her daughter for even a second.

Sandy came in with Lee following behind her. He gave Y/n a look of understanding, he too hoped this was going to be a short visit. The sound of Sandy fawning over her niece overtook the room. Their daughter giggled and babbled at her aunt as if she could understand her.

"Y/n go make us some ice tea."

Usually Lee doesn't command her to do things, unless he was stressed or horny. She knew her was the former by the look on his face. He was aggravated and this visit wasn't going to make him feel any better. As Y/n left the room, Sandy sat down on their couch with their daughter in her arms. Carl sat next to them, making the alarm in Lee rise.

"I got you something honey," she pulled out a little doll from her purse. It looked tattered and Lee wondered where she got it from.

"You know she already has enough dollies," Lee joked. It didn't matter to his girl, it was a new toy, "got anything for your brother?"

Sandy eyes him before pulling out a small bag of candy. She tossed it to him and he caught it, "I knew you'd ask for somethin'"

He opened it and instantly popped a sweet cherry candy into his mouth.

"Y/n's not letting me drink since the girl is so young. This is the only thing I got, even though she's on my ass about that too," Lee knew that Sandy wasn't too interested in the ins-and-outs of his everyday life but he gets tired of complaining to his deputies.

"Yea, I bet," she kept a snide comment about her sister-in-law to herself. The box of cigarettes she had calling her name we're going to have to wait. "How's that mayor race going?"

"It's going."

"Heard that whore house owner croaked," Carl's voice carried to the kitchen and Y/n paused, "found in unusual circumstances...chairs pushed up against the door...poisoned. Reckon one of those girls got tired of him holdin' them down-"

"No smoking in the house," Lee interrupted when he noticed Carl reaching for the pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket. Carl laughed as if he wanted to challenge Lee, but his hand went back to resting on the back of the couch.

"Wouldn't want this little darlin' smellin' like a bar."

Anytime Carl spoke at or about her daughter, Y/n wanted to vomit. Carl is not nice. She wonders how twisted Sandy might be to marry someone who is awful to women and has no filter.

There was a cloud of fear over her head when Carl was around. She wishes Lee was more apprehensive but Sandy's his little sister, and he cares for her no matter how much those two causes. Things would be different if Y/n had told Lee about that time Carl pressed himself against and put his hand up the skirt of her dress. His threat would forever bounce off her skull and it only got louder when he was near. "Shut you're fucking mouth or else your husbands gonna see his slut wife bending over for another man." She was five months pregnant and had no way to defend herself. He only groped her, but she always wondered if he would've gone further if Sandy hadn't come in looking for the cooking tongs Lee told her to fetch. Sandy knew something had happened, but she said nothing. Y/n's disdain for her only grew from that day on.

Lee redirected the conversation from what Carl had started to something a bit more asinine. He didn't want to talk about something work-related because he didn't need to be stressed out any further. Reed’s death wasn't another blow to his reputation like Lee thought it would. It was going to be another unsolved murder from the way it was looking though. The people assumed one of the girls did it. The place had been emptied out; it surely looked different from when Lee was last in there. Lee was lucky that Reed was extremely disliked, unlike that preacher Roy who died some years ago. More people said "he had it coming" instead of "why isn't the sheriff doing anything?"

He laughed about it though. When he was alone in the car after leaving the crime scene, he laughed. There was no more worrying about the rumor that Sheriff Lee Bodecker beat one of his girls. When Lee did go to that place, he was never forceful. Lee could be mean towards women at times, but he was never violent.

-

If Lee was called in on a Sunday morning, then it was very important. He woke Y/n up at 5 am and kissed her out of her confused state to say goodbye. She only slept for another hour after laying her head down back on the pillow.

This morning felt so different.

The morning she woke up knowing her task was to deal with Reed, she was distracted and jumpy. But she had grown so accustomed to her guilt that it's become a comfortable feeling. Mrs. Blackwater was a more personal score to settle. That woman was throwing dirt on Lee's name, but the turmoil she caused her teenage friend would never leave her mind. Y/n had learned how cruel someone could be without physically hurting you. The boys on school grounds were annoying brats, but that woman had a truly awful mouth.

The Petersons’ daughter was over right after church. She had a wide smile on her face, happy that Mrs. Bodecker was giving her another opportunity to make some money.

"She's been a fairly good mood lately," Y/n handed her daughter off to the shorter teenage girl, "she slept through the night for once, but she's still gonna need a nap. Once she starts fussin' put her in her crib. I should be back before Lee."

Y/n wished her well and the Petersons girl wished Y/n a good time running her errands. It was comical to think of this as an errand, even though today she was going to treat it like one.

She was in Lee's nice car again meaning she was going to have to temporarily get rid of it. Y/n put much more effort into this, her haphazard plan to take out Reed could've gone horribly wrong. She spent her time snooping around town when she was out with one of her mom friends. The plan had been simple: park the car at the crowded grocery just two blocks away from the Blackwater house. The house sat at the end of the street, a bit separated from the other row of houses because of the larger amount of land they owned. It wouldn't be a problem to walk to the house seeing as others in this neighborhood do the same thing.

When her mother had made that dress for her to wear to the Spring Formal, Y/n cried, saying she was going to look like a nurse instead of "the prettiest girl in town" like Jim, the guy who asked her to the dance said. A teenage grievance had somehow come in handy almost a decade later. It was under a long coat that was a bit abnormal for this warm day.

Y/n felt sickly confident. That only thing she worried about was Lee cruising through and seeing his car in the parking lot. But the grocery store offered a great cover. The sun was covered by a thick cloud as she walked away from the grocery store and to the old Blackwater house.

That porch still looked the same. It was old and rickety, squeaking as she stepped on it, she's surprised it didn't give it away some years ago. The rocking chair Mrs. Blackwater sat on while terrorizing people was no longer there. At least her days of scaring off the newer generation of kids were over.

Y/n knocked on the door and waited. She had to knock again, and by the third time she wondered if the old lady did the job for her!

"Who is it?" The voice was much more frail, but it was that voice.

"I'm here to help!" The upturn of her voice at the end made her statement sound more like a question.

The locks on the door began to click and Mrs. Blackwater peered at her.

"You're not the one they always send."

"Oh, she's sick today! I'm just filling in for her today!" After two weeks of watching, Y/n learned what days Mrs. Blackwater's nurse came and went. She came everyday but she was absent on Sundays. It's somewhat astounding that Mrs. Blackwater didn't ask about Y/n turning up on a Sunday.

"Ahh whatever," she dismissed, unlocking the screen door, and wheeling backwards in the wheelchair that she had been relegated to a few years ago.

Y/n didn't know what to expect when she stepped inside, but it wasn't too far off from how her parent's house looked; black and white photos littering the walls and stacks of paper that probably could've been thrown away a decade ago. What is different from her parent's home is that this place is an utter mess. The nurse that usually comes to take care of her could at least tidy it up a bit. With how much she hated everything, Y/n would've assumed she hated mess too, but her home says otherwise. This lady was an absolute hoarder.

"Don't bother me," Mrs. Blackwater sniped at her. She wheeled herself next to the couch and glued her eyes to the black and white television screen.

Y/n doesn't know how many hours Mrs. Blackwater spent sitting there and watching The Andy Griffin Show. She didn't laugh when something funny happened, she just sat there still, sometimes grumbling to herself in reaction to what was happening on screen.

The least Y/n could do was tidy up a bit. It would be a kind gesture to leave her to die in a presentable place.

Mrs. Blackwater is not going to die a violent death. She was awful, but she did not deserve the brutality like someone who has done physical harm did. (If she was just a little bit braver, she would've hacked him to death, but the sight of blood makes her ill). Mrs. Blackwater was up in age, nearing her 90s, and it would be time for her to go soon anyway. Y/n dusted around the TV, one of the last things this old woman may see. All the photos of people on the walls were staring at her as she moved about cleaning the dust from the frames. So many people, many dead but most probably alive. Mrs. Blackwater had children and probably grandchildren but no one came to visit her. Her tongue was sharp, but how could no one come and visit their aging mother?

"Stop moving so damn much. Sit down girl."

The venom was still in her voice. It would never go away, at least not until she dies. This woman didn't appreciate anything and enjoyed being miserable. Y/n listened to her like that scared little teenager she used to be. She sat on the couch, a few feet away from Mrs. Blackwater who had not taken her eyes off the TV or moved at all. Y/n was spending time with a woman who was going to die at her hands today. If she's going to die then at least she's going to die doing what she loves; watching her shows and bitching out the closest person in reach.

She had only moved to grab the newspaper from the table on the other side of her. It was Friday's addition, Y/n could tell from the photo on the cover. She couldn't help but eye the old woman as she read the paper. It has been probably three hours and she hasn't even asked for anything to eat.

"People droppin' like flies in this shit hole."

Y/n's ears perked up, but she didn't say anything, she just let the lady talk.

"Leroy should know better not to do that shit here...especially with that corrupt sheriff around...would've had an easier time gettin' away with it in the city. Everyone in the city already does all that illegal shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Now he’s dead."

Y/n had heard that name before. She remembers vividly Lee chewing someone out on the phone and saying their name with contempt. Leroy, Leroy, Leroy. The name "Bobo" also came up in the conversation a few times. Y/n wanted to be mad at Mrs. Blackwater for referring to her husband as "corrupt" but something nagged at her to keep the conversation going for her sake.

"W-what do you mean?" Her voice cracked but it was ignored by the old woman.

"You must not be from here. Everyone knows that if you get caught up with that fat bastard sheriff you must be doin’ some awful shit. The only reason why he keeps gettin' re-elected is because everyone is scared of him. It doesn't matter how many babies that man has, he's a killer...dragging that man's body and fucking up carnations..."

No one had ever talked to Mrs. Bodecker about her husband like this. Town gossipers had the decency to wait until she left the room to say something about him. But she's not Mrs. Bodecker right now. It does not matter anyway because the old lady doesn't know what she's talking about. She hasn't spent the hours with Lee, with him being sweet and so soft with his daughter. Y/n firmly believes that if Lee did indeed kill someone then it was for a good reason. She knows her husband involves himself in dirty things, but it had to be for a good reason. Lee did not show brutality for no reason; he didn't get his rocks off on hurting innocent people.

"People can change. I'm sure he's a different man now."

"Why!? Because he got a bitch and a bastard? You are too naïve...at least the other girl they send has some more sense in her head. No man is going to want to marry a dumb girl."

An awkward silence surrounded them but it was mostly felt by Y/n. She found herself frozen with a ball of rage and anxiety in her stomach. But she had no time to dwell for much longer though.

"I'm thirsty...go make me something."

Y/n noticed Mrs. Blackwater flinching when she grabbed the remote to turn the volume higher. She either had arthritis or just pain in her hands.

"Okay...do you need to take any pills at this time?"

"My husbands gone and my children don't visit me. You think I care about taking my pills?"

Maybe Mrs. Blackwater would be kind to her if she knew Y/n was going to take her out of her misery. Breaking open the capsules and dumping it in the tea she made for her is going to do the job. She might succumb to a heart attack, or pass peacefully. The only person Y/n felt bad for was the poor nurse who was going to find her dead tomorrow morning.

-

Lee was able to leave his shift earlier than expected. Sundays are very quiet, the only thing he got up to was paperwork at the station. He could go home early to his wife, play with the girl while Y/n makes dinner, and get a nice ride from his wife while their daughter sleeps. Y/n said something about needing him to pick up some chicken stock from the grocery store.

People filled in and out of the grocery store as the sun began to set. A few people spoke to him, never for too long knowing that he's not fond of small talk. But more people being friendly with him was a good sign. Even without his sweet wife next to him, no one shied away from saying hello to the man running for Mayor.

Two boxes of chicken stock should be enough even though his wife sent him for three. The brand she likes isn’t exactly cheap. Lee promptly made his way to the cashier who greeted him with a smile.

"Good evening sheriff!" her voice was sweet and she batted her eyes a few times. Lee offered her a smile, but a small laugh escaped. This girl couldn't be younger than 20 but she fawned over him like a young school girl. Her behavior reminded him of Y/n when she was that age. "Darlene said she saw your car in the parking lot but didn't get a chance to catch Mrs. Bodecker herself."

Lee stopped caring about the items (a few snuck in there for him) being rung up. His brows furrowed and the girl realized that she had said something maybe she shouldn't have.

"My wife was here?"

"That's what Darlene said. Her shift ended right as I was coming in so I wasn't there when it happened...do you still want the chicken stock?"

"Yea yea just ring it up."

Lee's mind was too preoccupied with the weird behavior his wife has been exhibiting for the last several weeks. She often hovered over him when he was on the phone like she was interested in what he was talking about. All the swearing and terms she didn't understand kept her from asking what his loud, and often abrasive, phone conversations were about. But now she was listening a little too hard for his liking.

The only time Y/n was supposed to drive their car is if Lee told her she could or if there was an emergency. A trip to the grocery store did not fall under either of those categories. But it was particularly weird to him that she would go to the store when she told him to go himself. If she had forgotten something, she would have not hesitated to call the station. Something was up with her.

Everything felt normal as he stepped into the house. The smell of what she was cooking hit his nose and the familiar noises of his daughter babbling louder than the Y/n moving around the kitchen. If he had no questions for his wife, then he'd feel all warm inside walking into his home in this current state.

Y/n was talking to their daughter as if she was holding a real conversation with her. Their daughter started squealing when she saw Lee appear in the doorway. He put his index finger to his lips to tell her to quiet herself, but she was only louder.

"I couldn't believe it either! They said the hairdresser purposefully dyed Marie's hair darker," she spoke, thinking her daughter was just squealing because she was talking to her and not because her husband was creeping up behind her.

Hands snaked around her waist and she nearly jumped. "Oh yea? Is that what the town is gossipin' about today?" Lee's familiar voice soothed her and she turned around in his arms. She deftly kissed him and looked up at him.

"Wanna know what else I heard?" He whispered to her. Y/n nodded, a smile spreading on her face as she rested her forehead against his, "heard the sheriff's wife been out and about and driving his nice car."

Y/n's smile fell from her face, but it only made Lee smile wider.

"You wanna tell me what you were doing out?"

"I needed something from the store."

"So my task to pick up the chicken stock after work was for nothing?"

"No...I went to my parents house...didn't want to go empty-handed. You know how my mother gets."

What a sweet little liar.

But she still had the smell of an old house lingering around her so maybe it wasn’t completely a lie. Still, he knew something was up with her.

“How was work?” She quickly tried to change the subject. Lee was not really in the mood to interrogate her, it was Sunday after all. He sat down in the chair next to his daughter's high chair. She started reaching for his hat but he was too far away, so Lee rested his head on the tray and let her have her fun. Y/n was probably going to be mad at him for putting his head where she eats and getting all of his “outside germs” all over it, but he didn’t care.

“I’m tired,” he confessed, a heavy sigh escaping him, “I’m really fucking tired.”

Y/n wishes she could lift more of her husband’s burdens. Killing people who were talking about him did not get rid of the core problem. Sometimes she wishes he never decided to run for mayor. Life was so much more comfortable when he would run unopposed for county sheriff. Instead her husband had a bigger dream. From the very beginning she felt like it was a long shot that this would be successful, but they had gotten so far in changing how most of the people viewed Lee. And even though they felt a way about him, they still respected the sheriff.

“It’s going to be over soon. I promise.”

He truly wanted to believe her, but the sinking feeling that the past was going to catch up with him was not going away.